DISCIPLING CHILDREN F RO M T R A U M A B A C KG RO U N D S Compiled by Jenny Riddle, with contributions from Traci Newell and Mark Sly When children enter homes from traumatic backgrounds, their lives have already been shaped by circumstances that make brokenness a part of their story. Difficulties children may have faced include medical issues, abuse or neglect, and abandonment. All have experienced grief on various levels. Whether they came into family homes as infants or older, children from adoption and in foster care know what “hard” looks like in life. Children are forced to reconcile the goodness of God with a life that has been difficult. Parents have the joy and privilege of walking with their children and pointing them to Christ, even on the hardest of days. And maybe especially on the hardest days. Each discipleship journey will look different; however, there will be some common themes and heart postures for parents as they seek to point their children to the Healer of their hearts.
U N D E R S TA N D O U R RO L E
Traci Newell, Education Specialist at Lifeline and a parent walking with her daughters on a discipleship journey, explains one of the most imperative lessons she has learned. Traci admits that feelings of discouragement and failure often characterized her parenting until she learned her role was not to try to change the hearts of her children. She shares, “Since many children who join their families through adoption and foster care struggle with feelings of rejection, convincing them of spiritual truths about their value can prove to be challenging. In this struggle with my own child, I have learned that the convincing is not up to me. A specific role of the Holy Spirit is to reveal truth from God’s Word (John 14:26). My role is to teach and reiterate truths from God’s Word to my kids when they are both willing-to-learn and slow-to-believe.” Mark Sly, one of Lifeline’s (un)adopted® Regional Coordinator, and an adoptive dad, agrees that parents should not approach discipleship with how they feel but with the truth. Parents are simply to be obedient to teach God’s Word. Deuteronomy 6:7-9 admonishes parents to teach God’s Word intentionally, saturating every part of family life.“Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Practically, pointing to God’s Word may mean considering your family’s rhythms and the learning preferences of your children. Parents might consider what speaks best to their children. • For visual learners, writing God’s Word “on the doorframes and gates of our homes” could include recording easy-to-learn verses on the bathroom mirror with colorful, dry-erase markers or using chalkboard paint to create a wall in our children’s bedrooms where we can display favorite memory verses. Spring 2021
- 16 -
lifelinechild.org
