Broken Vessels Workbook Sample

GROUP STUDY GUIDE

Broken Vessels Shattered by Addiction, Transformed by the Loving Hands of God

MICHELE ROSE

Birmingham, Alabama

Broken Vessels: Study Guide Brookstone Publishing Group An imprint of Iron Stream Media 100 Missionary Ridge Birmingham, AL 35242 IronStreamMedia.com Copyright © 2023 by Michele Rose No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher.

DISCLAIMER: This book reflects the author’s present recollections of experiences over time. Some names and characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Iron Stream Media serves its authors as they express their views, which may not express the views of the publisher.

Scripture quotations, unless noted otherwise, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMP), Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.lockman.org Scripture quotations taken marked AMPC are taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMPC), Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. lockman.org Scripture quotations, unless noted otherwise, are taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org Scripture quotations marked NASB95 are taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation.

Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org 1 2 3 4 5—27 26 25 24 23

CONTENTS

Preface . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v Session 1 Introduction and 1. The Day We Found Out . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 2. Double Trouble . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 3. Love Letters and Lovelines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 4. First Treatment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 5. Detox, Treatment, Relapse, Repeat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Session 2 6. Spiritual Oppression . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 7. Prayed Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 8. A Chink in His Armor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 9. Romance, Honor Man, and Angel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 10. Double Portion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Session 3 11. Iraq and Birth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 12. Compartmentalizing, AWOL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 13. If One Stumbles, So Goes the Other . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 14. Out of Prison and into Divorce . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57

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15. Another Wedding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 16. Dr. Fred Von Stieff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 Session 4 17. Move to Merced . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71 18. Prophetic Posture and Journaling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75 19. Joy in My Pocket . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 20. Christian Rehab, Texas Style . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83 21. Whose Battle Is It? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Session 5 22. Spiritual War . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 23. Arkansas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95 24. David Comes to Arkansas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 25. Overdoses and Wellness Checks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 26. Christmas 2017 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Session 6 27. No Tears Left . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113 28. Arrests, Jail, and the Inner Circle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 29. Gateway, Prophetic Word, Federal Court . . . . . . . . . . . 121 30. Compassionate Release . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 31. Collateral Damage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129 32. Broken Vessels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133

iv

PREFACE

t can be a devastating and isolating experience when someone you love becomes trapped in addiction. Divided into six sessions, this guide is intended to help you share your feelings, questions, frustrations, and victories with others walking the same journey. While we can’t make sense out of irrational behavior and insanely destructive situations, we can learn to lean on one another to help carry the heavy load of walking through them. Peace is attainable, my friend, even in the midst of chaos. It comes from within. I pray you find it.

Prior to your first group meeting, read the chapters of Broken Vessels: Shattered by Addiction, Transformed by the Loving Hands of God listed in session 1 of this study guide. As your group goes through the guide together, have someone read aloud the “Practical Helps for Overcoming Emotional Paralysis” pertaining to the book chapter you’re on. Encourage one another with your own tips for nurturing emotional health.

The discussion questions may reveal answers and solutions to areas of uncertainty and conflict you’re experiencing. We all go through the process of dealing with life-threatening situations differently. But as you begin to benefit from someone in

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your group who has overcome an issue or emotion you are overwhelmed by, you’ll soon see how good it feels to do the same for them.

The scripture references will add depth to your understanding of how to fight this spiritual battle. Read them aloud in the group. Share other verses that sustain you. Declare your victory using God’s Word. It is a powerful weapon of warfare!

The notes section is for you. Journal your feelings, add your own “life verses,” or jot down other questions you have for the group. By the time you reach the end of the guide, you may be surprised to look back and find how you’ve changed. Your situation might not be fully resolved or completely healed, but the way you are able to view your life’s circumstances will be transformed. Blessings on your journey!

vi

Session 1

Introduction and Chapter 1

THE DAY WE FOUND OUT

rocessing the discovery that your child (or loved one) is struggling with substance abuse takes time. It may have come out of the blue, or maybe you now have confirmation of your ongoing suspicions. Remember, there is always hope.

Help is available, not only for your addicted loved one but also for you. Reach out to those who have walked the journey you’re about to embark upon.

P

Read aloud: “Practical Helps for Overcoming Emotional Paralysis” (also found on page 4 of the book) PRACTICAL HELPS FOR OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL PARALYSIS ➢ Commit to listening and learning in the early days, after discovering your loved one is struggling with substance abuse.

There are always reasons behind their search for emotional relief.

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➢ Substance abuse is almost always accompanied by deep insecurity. Choose your words wisely. Verbal attacks leveled at someone who already hates himself or herself may worsen the situation, but most certainly will not improve it. It’s a fine line between letting your child, spouse, parent, sibling, other family member, or friend know you do not condone the abuse of drugs and/or alcohol, while assuring them you care about them unconditionally.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1. How did the knowledge about your loved one’s addiction make you feel? (Shock, disappointment, anger, fear, confusion, shame, and hopelessness can all be experienced in the process.)

2. Do you know anyone else who has gone through a battle with addiction? (If so, they may be able to help you with questions 3 and 4 below.)

3. Do you know of resources where you can find help for your loved one?

4. Do you know of resources where you can find help for you?

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES “For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,” says the LORD, “plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Then you will call on Me and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear [your voice] and I will listen to you. Then [with a deep longing] you will seek Me 4

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and require Me [as a vital necessity] and [you will] find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”

(Jeremiah 29:11–13 AMP) The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

(Psalm 34:18) NOTES

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Chapter 2

DOUBLE TROUBLE

eroin (and other substance) abuse is epidemic. It crosses

H all cultural and socioeconomic barriers. Denial is usually

the first response by an addict. They may be in denial in their own mind about their problem, pushing unbearable feelings of guilt and shame away. But if they aren’t ready for help or haven’t reached their “bottom,” they will surely deny it. Looking back, you may see reasons or events that played into your loved one’s addiction. You might now recognize the signs of using that you had previously missed. Reconciling the fact that the person you know and love has a secret life of torment isn’t easy. If those close to you can’t handle what you’re going through, give them grace.

Read aloud: “Practical Helps for Overcoming Emotional Paralysis” (also found on page 14 of the book) PRACTICAL HELPS FOR OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL PARALYSIS ➢ When you first find out your loved one is addicted, steel yourself for the long haul. There is much reason to hope for 7

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tomorrow, but you will likely need to build a bridge to a brighter future—brick by brick. ➢ Remember that without experience, people do not know what they do not know.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1. Have you reached out for help to intervene in your beloved addict’s path of destruction? Get referrals for treatment from a hospital that has a detox unit.

2. Can you find love for your struggling one without taking their behavior of lies and deception personally? This is a tough one, but you are not in their purview when they are self-absorbed.

Active addiction takes precedence over their love for you and others.

3. Can you forgive/overlook judgmental attitudes or comments from family or friends who can’t handle what you’re going through?

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive. (Luke 17:4) Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 3:13)

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NOTES

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Chapter 3

LOVE LETTERS AND LOVELINES

ometimes it helps to express yourself on paper. Journaling your thoughts and feelings can be of great emotional release, even if only you read it. If you wished you’d said something better or not reacted in the heat of the moment, writing a letter can be a lasting word of encouragement to someone on the verge of despair—hope to literally hang on to. You may be surprised if you get a beautiful, heart-healing response.

When an addict is sober, in recovery, and learning why they’ve hurt themselves, only then can they face how their behavior has hurt those they love. Restored relationships are achievable when healing has begun.

S

Read aloud: “Practical Helps for Overcoming Emotional Paralysis” (also found on pages 19–20 of the book) PRACTICAL HELPS FOR OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL PARALYSIS ➢ Write your addicted loved one a letter. Go back and read it again. Were you able to express how much you love them, 11

Broken Vessels: Group Study Guide

no matter what, while still communicating your concerns and feelings? Remember, you don’t have to give it to them, although this may be a message your loved one desperately needs to hear from you. ➢ Look up your loved one’s name. In biblical times, names were chosen according to a person’s character or lot in life. Declare to your loved one the positive traits their name holds. Declare who they are, in the present, whether or not you can see it manifested in their life. For example, my son Michael’s real name means “warrior.” Spoiler alert: Michael later became a United States Marine. God sees us as His finished work. If we can learn to see our loved one as God does, we are confessing our faith in God, that we believe “God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1. Have you fired off hurtful shots at your addicted loved one that you wish you could take back?

2. Can you separate in your mind, their self-destructive behavior from acts that are hurtful to you?

3. Can you differentiate something your loved one has done to you from something they’ve done to hide their addiction from you?

4. Can you try to let their pain come first . . . for now?

5. Have you looked up the meaning of your loved one’s name?

Try declaring to them, in writing, the positive traits their name holds. Tell them who you know they are, whether or not you can see it manifested in their life.

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SCRIPTURE REFERENCES The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

(Proverbs 18:21) Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him.

Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement.

(2 Corinthians 2:7) Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13 NASB95) NOTES

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Chapter 4

FIRST TREATMENT

treatment programs will have counselors who have G ood already overcome the battle with addiction. They can give hope to the hopeless because they have fought the same fight.

Many programs have sessions for families of the addicted. Try to participate. It soothes the soul when you find others who truly understand what you’re going through. There are many components to recovery and healing from addiction. Professional, medical staff are a great help in the immediate needs of detox and understanding the physical aspects of withdrawal and the steps to overcoming drug dependency. But spiritual exploration brings forth the truth of where this battle really resides.

Read aloud: “Practical Helps for Overcoming Emotional Paralysis” (also found on page 25 of the book) PRACTICAL HELPS FOR OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL PARALYSIS ➢ Breathe! The stress of living in fear of losing your child or loved one as a result of drug abuse has physical side effects 15

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for you. Without realizing it, your breathing may become shallow as your body resides in “fight or flight” mode. Consciously take more deep breaths. In . . . and . . . out. In . . . and . . . out. ➢ Remember one thing you used to enjoy. Give yourself permission to spend a little time doing something pleasurable without feeling guilty. Eat a hot fudge sundae. Take a luxurious candle-lit bath. Or watch a Hallmark movie—they all have happy endings. Feel-good endorphins are important to your overall health and you can’t pour into someone else if your own vessel is empty. If you feel like you’re forcing it, don’t fret. One day, you’ll smile freely about something and when you do—savor the moment. Your situation may not have changed, though you did.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1. Who is your healer?

2. What have you done to help your own physical and emotional well-being?

3. Do you have a Bible Scripture that resonates with your spirit?

You can search for Bible verses by topic, for example, fear, love, anger, faith, trust, disappointment, forgiveness, and so on.

SCRIPTURE REFERENCE And the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. (James 5:15 NASB95) 16

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NOTES

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Chapter 5

DETOX, TREATMENT, RELAPSE, REPEAT

here is nothing rational about (heroin) addiction. During the process of detox and treatment, you dare to hope, but when relapse occurs, it feels like a gut punch. If you’re on the roller coaster of doubt and hope, along with fear and faith, don’t give up. No matter how many times it takes. As you weigh your situational needs, do the best you can with the resources at hand.

Loving unconditionally without enabling is a fine line to walk. If you’re not sure how to handle a situation, talk to someone whose been through it. The answer is not always cut and dried. Trust your instincts.

Once detox is completed and the physical symptoms have lessened and can be tolerated, the real battle begins. Addiction is where engagement in a spiritual battle rages. When we realize our spiritual power, we can grab hold of the weapons God has for us. Spending time with God, by reading His Word, opens up an intimate relationship as we get to know Him and learn to trust His promises.

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Read aloud: “Practical Helps for Overcoming Emotional Paralysis” (also found on page 40 of the book) PRACTICAL HELPS FOR OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL PARALYSIS ➢ If your loved one relapses, don’t lose hope. Encourage them to try again. Returning to a program may feel like failure to them, but success is being able to reach out for help again and again—as many times as it takes. We can’t win the war if we turn from the battle. ➢ Participate in the treatment program to support your loved one. It helps them and will help you too. It’s there you can lean on those who truly know what you’re going through.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1. We’ve probably all heard about “tough love” and how important it is. Can you see where you might be enabling your addicted love one?

2. Have you had a situation where the lines seemed blurred? How did you handle it? What influenced your decision?

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good 20

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and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. (Romans 12:2 AMPC) For the joy of the Lord is your strength! (Nehemiah 8:10) And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28) You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north. (Deuteronomy 2:3 NASB95) Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. (2 Corinthians 5:17 NASB) NOTES

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