Gender Identity, Families and Relationships

“Getting to know us...”

The LGBT Excellence Centre Wales is a social enterprise and a charity that supports Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender people and promotes equality, diversity and human rights through gathering and sharing information and good practice. We provide: Advice Mediation Advocacy

Networking

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Research

Counselling

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Information

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In the following areas: Benefits ● Bullying ● Civil Partnerships Coming Out ● Discrimination ● Domestic Violence ● Employment ● Funding ● Gender Identity ● Hate Crime ● Health ● Homelessness ● Housing Immigration ● Legal Matters ● Relationships Sexuality ● Sexual Orientation ●Social Care ● Volunteering

Support Information and Advice LGBT Excellence Centre Provides an all-Wales helpline for sexual orientation and gender identity issues (www.ecwales.org.uk) 0800 023 2201 Unique UNIQUE is a voluntary organisation supporting transgendered people in North Wales and West Cheshire. (www.uniquetg.org.uk) Trans Youth Wales A social network run by young people for young people who want to get information and peer support around gender identity matters and to socialise. (www.transyouthwales.org.uk) Depend An organisation offering free, non-judgemental advice, information and support to all family members, spouses, partners and friends of transsexual people in the UK. (www.depend.org.uk) Beaumont Society An established transgendered support group with a support network in the UK (www.beaumontsociety.org.uk)

WOBS (Women of the Beaumont Society) For wives, partners or family members of someone who cross dresses (www.gender.org.uk/ WOBSMatters) Gender Trust Supporting all those affected by gender identity issues (www.gendertrust.org.uk)

Guidance GIRES A wealth of information for trans people, their families and the professionals who care for them (www.gires.org.uk) Press for Change can advise on all gender identity matters (www.pfc.org.uk)

Counselling Services LGBT Excellence Centre 0800 023 2201

Gender Identity, Families and Relationships

Photography © LGBT Excellence Centre and Juliana Kammerlander

This leaflet is part of a series on gender identity produced by the LGBT Excellence Centre Wales with funding fro Awards for All.

LGBT Excellence Centre Suite 1 & 2 376, Newport Road Cardiff CF23 9AE Freephone: 0800 023 2201 Web: www.ecwales.org.uk Email: info@ecwales.org.uk

LGBT Excellence Centre Unleashing Wales’ Potential Empowering communities to flourish I n par tne rs hip w ith

All Wales Transgender Support Group

“As a society we need to start looking past physical appearances and start looking at the spirit and energy that radiates from people. We should not exclude some individuals from living a fulfilling life. I could not possibly be prouder or more hopeful for my new son”. Frank

Trans-Forming Families and Relationships Many trans people worry about disclosing their gender identity for fear of rejection and or discrimination.

Often families and fiends will reject a trans person because of lack of knowledge.

The Law

The Issues

A true experience

 A young trans person may

“Just like so many trans and gay people of that time I was coerced into the belief that finding a girlfriend and getting married would be the end of being trans and would “cure” me. So I got married and now we have two wonderful children and an amazing granddaughter.

Of course it wasn't an end to me being trans and just living with another woman intensified my need to be myself.”

Jenny-Anne

advisor or counsellor to guide them, but very be reluctant to disclose their few ask for this support gender identity to those or know where to get it. around them for fear of being rejected by the family and then finding themselves  Parents may fear that being transgender homeless. would mean losing their  Many trans people worry children. about telling partners or  If a trans person has a friends in case the Gender Recognition relationship ends and they Certificate then their end up alone. marriage becomes null.  When faced with someone Often trans people do not want a civil becoming transgender, partnership as these family and friends often feel are sometimes seen as isolated and confused.

Families and friends would „gay marriages‟ or not having any religious benefit from the assistance significance. and support of a qualified

The Single Equality Act 2010 makes it clear that it is unlawful to discriminate on grounds of gender and gender reassignment.

The Gender Recognition Act 2004 enables transsexual people to apply for 'gender recognition' and those born in the UK can obtain a new birth certificate.

Gender recognition will mean that transsexual people must be treated fully as of their new sex for all legal purposes. Sometimes this means a marriage may have to be annulled, in which case a civil partnership may be the only option.

Some thoughts from a trans person “Transgendered people have a difficult path to tread, but it is not an impossible one. It is a path that is much easier if they have the love and support of the people around them who care about them. This is no one‟s fault and it is not a disaster. It could be a beginning and an opportunity. This is your chance to be the wonderful parent, sibling, family or friend that stands by them and loves them, regardless of this change.”

Margaret

Suggested Reading True Selves: Understanding Transexualism For families, friends, co-workers and helping professionals (Mildred L Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley) Trans Forming Families (Ed: M Boenke) Real stories about transgendered loved ones.

Becoming a Visible Man (Jamieson Green ) ( autobiographical ) Becoming Drusilla (Richard Beard) One life, two friends, three genders.

Trans Research Review (www.equalityhumanrights.com/uploaded_files/ research/trans_research_review_rep27.pdf)

Some good practice:  Reassure the individual that you love them, but will need some time to adjust to this unexpected news. Try not to     

make it about yourself by asking, “What have I done?” This is about them not you.

Find a suitable organisation to support you.

Ask the individual how they would like to be addressed and then stick to it by always using the correct pronoun such as „she‟ not „he‟ and using the name they have chosen.

Offer to help in useful ways like accompanying them to a support group or medical appointment if they need it.

Keep talking, be open and ask as many questions as will help you understand. Do not suggest a „cure‟.

Congratulate yourself..... You can do this!