LEO Weekly March 18, 2020

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How Louisville survived the influenza epidemic of 1918 • Page 7 Why introverts were right • Page 10

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Impacts on the music and theater scenes • Page 16 & 18 The coronavirus drinking game... and more! • Page 11 LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

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LOUISVILLE ECCENTRIC OBSERVER

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EDITOR’S NOTE

MCCONNELL FIDDLES WHILE WE...

1.

By Aaron Yarmuth | ayarmuth@leoweekly.com U.S. SEN. Mitch McConnell is treating the coronavirus pandemic like he does everything else that comes before him in the Senate: politics as usual.

Science and expert advice: optional.

Democrats in the U.S. House last week passed an emergency relief package to support those most affected by the pandemic’s economic toll, including guaranteeing paid sick leave for all workers, augmenting unemployment insurance, ensuring free coronavirus testing and expanding federal food assistance programs.

McConnell called the proposal, “an ideological wish list that was not tailored closely to the circumstances.”

Which begs the question: How well does McConnell understand the circumstances?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has warned older Americans against flying. The director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, Dr. Anthony Fauci, testified before Congress last week that the worst is yet to come.

Yet McConnell, who just turned 78, flew from Washington to Louisville the following day.

Must have been for something critical to the nation during this public health and economic crisis, right?

Nope.

McConnell recessed the Senate so he could go to a party.

He had to be back in Louisville for a judge’s investiture, a ceremony for the new judge. McConnell helped get this judge appointed to the Western District of the Kentucky federal bench. McConnell was accompanied by his wife Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao (possible author of “Anonymous”) and Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

Let’s break it down: Three Republicans ignored CDC warnings and health experts’ advice — to refrain from traveling and to practice social distancing.

They did it to attend a party.

That party honored a judge the American Bar Association deemed unqualified because he “does not presently have the requisite trial or litigation experience or its equivalent.”

For Chao and Kavanaugh, traveling and attending this event is profoundly bad judgment. They unnecessarily jeopardized their

health, others’ health and the ability of their offices to function in the future. It should go without saying: Their offices are the highest levels of both the executive and judicial branches of government.

It’s not only reckless, but, Americans needed the federal government to act weeks ago… not next week. Every day that passes means an exponential increase in the spread of the disease, more events canceling, more economic widespread economic damage and, yes, more deaths. And he’s treating the coronavirus global pandemic like it’s just another partisan political football — where emergency funding produces political winners and losers, and McConnell will be damned if he’s going to cede any political ground.

The biggest mistake Democrats have made is having over 400 members of Congress gather for a disease-spread briefing, not respecting the social distancing advice of experts. But they’re risking their health while on the job working to protect people’s lives and livelihoods.

McConnell adjourning the Senate, while Democrats continue to work, signals a complete lack of appreciation for the real world “circumstances,” which are that no one is immune to it.

In fact, I was exposed to someone who later tested positive while I was at the Speed Ball. But, also, U.S. senators, NBA players and, even, our beloved Tom Hanks have contracted the virus.

The markets and economy provide quantifiable financial costs of the virus.

Satellite images show large burial pits are being dug in Iran for mass burial of coronavirus victims.

Much like how President Bush’s failed response to Hurricane Katrina finally exposed the reality of his administration’s failings, the failure in this crisis of Trump and Republicans — who still insist truth and facts are optional — might finally prove to his base how feckless he is.

After all, he has planted his success on the stock market and economy. How is that working for him now?

The majority leader has proven he will do all in his power — the Senate’s power — to fill the courts with handpicked conservative judges. To not show the same urgency to help save people’s lives, jobs, businesses, homes and savings is a startling political mistake and a new low. •

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

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ON: DAN CANON, WHY REPUBLICANS WIN AT NEGOTIATING… AND MODERATES LOSE

Thanks to the Left for going for the “Hail Mary”. Small gradual increments weren’t enough. You got impatient and threw an interception. See you back at this spot in 20 years. Same outcome.

—Michael Duffy @mrduffy3 That’s what happens when you care more about “process” than results. —Ulrich A Kvetcher @Ulrich_Kvetcher

ON: THORNS AND ROSES, DEMS TANK OWN BILL IN PROTEST OF GOP

I agree with their decision. I have gone to meetings with these Democratic lawmakers, and they say the Republicans repeatedly block their bills. Yet, we are the petulant children when we do the same to them? —if we die, we die lit @Stowaway27

ON: CAPITOL GUN RALLY = WHITE SUPREMACY

The folk of Black Lives Matter are no threat to anyone decent in America. Period. I only recently came in from the cold. I am not the sharpest tool in the shed in some ways. Or, the greatest thinker.

But it is not required. All of the new, white militancy is racist... IMO. —Edward Woodson MANOFMETTLE.COM

ON: UNDERCOVER COMMENTARY

Not even a legit bag at that. Half of this hair came from his dad and half the bag is air. —Chris Phipps The Senate’s conscience. —Chris Hayes

ON: ASK MINDA HONEY, HOW TO MOVE RELATIONSHIP FROM PLATONIC TO ROMANTIC? This is one of my favorite episodes of AMH. So insightful and inclusive. With all the sand traps and cliffhangers in relationships, this is a sobering piece of advice. —Shauntrice Martin LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

VIEWS

WE ARE THE DESCENDANTS OF THE VOTING RIGHTS MOVEMENT

By Chanelle Helm | leo@leoweekly.com This is from a Facebook post I wrote after the South voted resoundingly for Joe Biden: THE FOLLOWING are thoughts and things I can say because I’m a descendant of Black folks and will be one for future generations.

If younger generations are telling me that they are voting for a particular candidate, I’m going to check that out and do my research. Surface level decision making gave us the last four years...

What I’m not going to do is hive mind and be like, “Yaw don’t know what yaw talking about!”

We Gen Xers, 59 to 39 and, millennials, 38 to 25, are not children! We have wholeass families. We have whole-ass jobs. We have whole-ass small businesses.

Yaw have set us back. Set us way back.

You may say: We Made The Decisions For You! We Organize Because Of You! But we say: We Don’t Want To End Up Like Yaw: shitty healthcare, losing social security and Insane pharmaceutical buyouts, and we can’t decide whether to pay mortgage/rent, the insurance or school loans!

School loans. Loans most of yaw didn’t have to take out because no one was pushing for folks to enter the race for higher education and then get bought out by the government.

How do we fix this mess? Beating Trump with no plan is not a strategy. You can’t name a goal with no path.

This is why I’m deeply concerned by the conversations that I’m having with older folks about this election.

Most of you have never seen the scale of Trump in your lifetime or were babies/children when Stalin and Hitler and Mussolini reigned. Education back in your time was whitewashed because of the World Wars, and popular politics was not something that Black households talked or worried about... right?

We have to talk about keeping the house or a roof over our heads, minding our boss, dodging the police, how to get food, who’s on drugs, etc. Yet, we’re wrapped in a generational cognitive dissonance where we only believe the history books or popular

culture to tell us what was happening now.

In the ‘40s, ‘50s and ‘60s, the majority of Black families were not OK. They have not been since. No matter how much we get displaced and forced into socioeconomic classes, we’ve struggled the entire way.

It’s OK to say that.

We can change. But what we cannot do is be comfortable. Just like the struggle, shit is going to hurt, and shit is going to be funky as hell.

Black folks don’t vote because they are tired, and we get fucked over time and time again. And it’s OK that some of us don’t vote because they are struggling and tired.

Black folks don’t vote because we’ve generationally been suppressed. Stolen from our indigenous world, forced to work stolen land, mutilated, hunted and lynched, prevented from entering the economy we were forced to build and then, our representation was deleted.

Mfs is T’ied!

Black folks don’t vote because all the work and organizing and all the building they do gets erased when we don’t focus on our needs: We are hopeful for something else. Something workable. Something survivable.

Dis ain’t it, Fam! Black folks don’t vote because why keep voting for white folks to represent Whom?

Our national leaders barely make news outside of this country about what is happening to Black and Brown folks — we… people did that! Time and time again.

Black folks do vote because they have something to believe in, because they’re scared, because they want it to stop, because they organize, because they build power, because we win when we hold all these things evident. Not a few. Not some. All. Chanelle Helm is cofounder and core organizer of Black Lives Matter Louisville. •

APRIL 11

PRE-GAME PIG ROAST TONY & THE TANLINES

STATE OF INDIANA : In The Perry Circuit Court COUNTY OF: Perry CAUSE NUMBER: 62C01-2002-JT-000054 IN THE MATTER OF THE TERMINATION OF THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP: AC - DOB 11/15/2018 AND Lindsey Cook (Biological Mother) Walter Nolen (Alleged Father) AND ANY UNKNOWN ALLEGED FATHERS

SUMMONS FOR SERVICE BY PUBLICATION & NOTICE OF TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS HEARING TO: Walter Nolen and Any Unknown Alleged Father (Whereabouts unknown).

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN to the above noted parent whose whereabouts are unknown, as well as Any Unknown Alleged Fathers, whose whereabouts are also unknown, that the Indiana Department of Child Services has filed a Petition for Involuntary Termination of your Parental Rights, and that an adjudication hearing has been scheduled with the Court.

YOU ARE HEREBY COMMANDED to appear before the Judge of the Perry Circuit Court, 2219 Payne Street, Tell City, IN 47586 - 812-547-7048 for a(n) Fact Finding Hearing on 5/7/2020 at 8:30 AM and to answer the Petition for Termination of your Parental Rights of said child.

You are further notified that if the allegations in said petition are true, and/or if you fail to appear at the hearing, the Juvenile Court may terminate your parent-child relationship; and if the Court terminates your parent-child relationship you will lose all parental rights, powers, privileges, immunities, duties and obligations including any rights to custody, control, visitation, or support in said child; and if the Court terminates your parent-child relationship, it will be permanently terminated, and thereafter you may not contest an adoption or other placement of said child.

You are entitled to representation by an attorney, provided by the State if applicable, throughout these proceedings to terminate the parent-child relationship.

YOU MUST RESPOND by appearing in person or by an attorney within thirty (30) days after the last publication of this notice, and in the event you fail to do so, adjudication on said petition and termination of your parental rights may be entered against you, in your absence, without further notice.

Amanda F. Mogan Clerk Amy Meyer, #32396-26 Attorney, Indiana Department of Child Services 609 Ravine Street Shoals, IN 47581 Office: 812-247-2871 LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

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MY, MY, MY CORONA...

LEO’S GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE CORONAVIRUS WHAT’S CLOSED, who is sick and how much is the government fucking up the response? The rest of the news media has you covered on those important questions.

We at LEO, as usual, are taking an alternate approach to storifying the outbreak that we all knew would come but, nonetheless, were not prepared for (maybe this will get all y’all thinking deeper about climate change).

So, we are providing a fascinating essay from the Influenza Encyclopedia about an alarmingly similar outbreak — the Influenza of 1918 — and how it affected Louisville (spoiler alert: We did a really good job). J. Alexander Navarro, co-editor in chief of the digital archive/encyclopedia and author of

the essay on Louisville (and many others), told LEO this about the coronavirus vs. 1918 flu: “We know what happened in 1918, so we are right to be concerned with what could potentially happen today. In terms of differences, medicine has made many advances since 1918; we now know about viruses (they didn’t in 1918), we have better hospital care, and we have the capacity to produce effective vaccines. The biggest similarity is that, just like in the fall of 1918, we are utilizing a host of non-pharmaceutical interventions (NPI) such as school closures, gathering bans, isolation and quarantine, etc. to try to mitigate the spread and effects of

the disease. ... [W]e found that cities that implemented them early, in a layered fashion (using as many as possible), and for a longer period of time had lower peak and overall morbidity and mortality than cities that did not. In other words, NPI work to help mitigate epidemics. This study became the basis for CDC pandemic response guidance, and we are seeing these practices put into use today.”

Next, LEO columnist Dan Canon walks us (and himself) through our tendency to anthropomorphize the virus and what actual scientists say about just how doomed we are.

LEO columnist Heidi Taylor feels a bit validated — Introverts had it right all along.

And the LEO crew has put together a scavenger hunt, a drinking game (!) and other fun stuff to keep your kids busy and you from wondering whether your mountain of toilet paper is haunted and has come alive. •

I MAY HAVE IT, IS THIS MOTHER NATURE’S HARD RESET, OR DO WE GET ANOTHER CHANCE?

By Dan Canon | leo@leoweekly.com I AM PLEASED to announce that I have, or may have, or am probably about to have, the novel coronavirus. I acquired it, or potentially acquired it, from exposure to more than a few hours of news about: the novel coronavirus. As I understand it, it’s that easy to catch.

It’s an honor, really.

I have always wanted to be on the cutting edge, the vanguard, the foam on the crest of the wave of the non-future.

There are few ways in which I, a pragmatic agnostic, can get worked up about the apocalypse. All that silly Armageddonand-rapture stuff doesn’t do it for me. But a doomsday virus, visited upon humanity by a wrathful spirit of nature who chooses to vengefully crush us within her grasp? That’s a really exciting moment for science, and I’m here for it.

Here’s what a lifetime of consuming terrible (but convincing) movies and books has taught me about the science at work here.

Nature has what you might call a limiting principle. If humankind gets too big, too arrogant and too destructive, Mother Nature will put her foot down. She’ll perform a hard reset on earthly life. She’ll pick up the great Etch A Sketch of the biosphere and give it a good shake. She’ll conjure up hordes of spi-

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

ders, murderous shrubbery, a Godzilla-type monster or a contagious disease to teach us all a lesson.

And, my god, could you imagine a more appropriate time than now, a time when we spend all day every day laughing in the face of ecological disaster? We’ve known for about a century that we’re rapidly making the planet uninhabitable. Anyone with any sense at all knows we need to take swift, decisive action to fix it. But instead, we’ve managed to spend the last few decades boring imaginary holes in otherwise structurally sound climate science in order to line human pocketbooks, inflate human egos and soothe human anxieties. Now, there’s a leader of the free world who says that the “concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese ... ” Less than a decade ago, the current prime minister of the United Kingdom was trying to convince the public that a “mini-ice age” was coming. The president of Brazil, a major proponent of deforestation and novel-coronavirus-haver, calls his own scientists liars while the Amazon burns.

We just keep pushing and nudging and shoving our ecosystems closer to the edge of the cliff, daring them to fall, convinced that we are gravity-immune.

Any casual student of the classics can

recognize the unseen villain here: hubris.

Even our initial response to the coronavirus itself reads like it was plucked from a Greek tragedy. “It’s a hoax,” our leaders said. “It’s a ‘Chicken Little’ story.” “It’s just the common cold, but the media wants you to think it’s something worse so Democrats can destabilize the economy and win back the presidency.”

This brand of hubris is always punished by a higher power.

That’s science.

This moment is made even more exciting by the realization that humankind has been begging for it for millennia. Since big-brained primates became a thing, we’ve been testing the Earth to see just how much abuse it can take. And, as it turns out, it can take a lot. It can survive just fine without bees or golden toads or giant ground sloths or countless other species that have disappeared just to make room for human habitats, or take up room in human bellies or both. They’ve been disappearing for as long as Homo sapiens has been migratory and, well, so far so good, I guess. But this winning streak cannot possibly hold up forever.

At some point, after all those years of saying “fuck you, planet,” we’ve got to expect the planet to answer “no, fuck You, buddy” as

we melt into puddles of gristle and hair, ceding our position as the dominant species, renewing the equilibrium of the Earth, restoring balance to The Force and so on.

And we may get to see it happen.

What an exciting time to be almost-not alive!

Given our long history of pissing directly into the face of Mother Nature, the question should not be if an extinction-level event is coming for us, but how it’s going to happen.

In my view, a virtually undetectable and fast-moving disease is a safe bet. Think about it. What else could it be? A meteor hitting the Earth reads more like bad luck than earthly forces exacting revenge, and anyway it’s too cliché. Tidal waves could annihilate a large number of people, but those can’t reach the Midwest or the middle of Russia and China, so that leaves too many people behind to overbreed and muck things up again in a few years. Same problem with nuclear winter. For a few days, I was convinced the Terminators would get the job done, especially after one of them wiped the walls with Ken Jennings on “Jeopardy.”

But that was only a figurative wiping; we’re still a couple of decades out from a more

CONTINUED ON PAGE 9

LESSONS FROM THE INFLUENZA EPIDEMIC OF 1918

THE ‘QUICK AND DECISIVE ACTION’ THAT SAVED LOUISVILLE LIVES: CLOSURES OF CHURCHES, BARS AND MOVIE HOUSES AN ESTIMATED 650,000 Americans died during the 1918-19 influenza epidemic, blamed for some 50 million deaths worldwide. The following is an essay of how Louisville handled the outbreak. It is one of 50 city essays in the online “Influenza Encyclopedia,” produced by the University of Michigan Center for the History of Medicine, Michigan Publishing and University of Michigan Library. Read more at: influenzaarchive.org IN THE LATE SUMMER and early fall of 1918, the many military installations across the United States tended to be hit first and hardest with epidemic influenza. Soldiers, sailors and Marines on liberty, leave or official business traveled to cities, often bringing influenza with them. This had been the case in Boston, for example, a city ringed with numerous military bases and training facilities.

Just a few streetcar stops down the line from Louisville was Camp Zachary Taylor.

The camp was enormous, encompassing 1,530 buildings sprawled across 3,376 acres and accommodating over 45,000 enlistees and officers. At the time, it was the largest World War I Army training camp in North America. On Sept. 24, local Louisville newspapers reported over 100 soldiers at the camp were ill with influenza. Just a day

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later, that number had more than doubled to 262. By the end of the month, the camp hospital was caring for more than 2,100 cases of influenza. The hospital was so overcrowded that 15 barracks of the “C” Section — a section of camp located east of the Lincoln Avenue overpass — had to be converted to temporary hospital wards. (1) Camp officials acted as quickly as they could to contain the disease. On Sept. 27, they enacted a partial quarantine of the camp, prohibiting the soldiers from entering theaters, movie houses, restaurants and other public places in town. They also prohibited the soldiers from congregating within the camp. Only a dozen soldiers were allowed in the canteen at a time. (2) A few days later, military officials posted provost guards at strategic Louisville locations to prevent soldiers from entering public areas of the city. (3) To further protect Louisville, officials from the Army, the U.S. Public Health Service and city health officer Dr. T. H. Baker met on Sept. 26 to develop a plan of action.

All agreed that the main problem was that of soldiers spreading the disease to the civilian population.

That issue was already addressed by the quarantine at Camp Taylor. To further keep civilians safe, the men agreed to try to prevent overcrowding and poor ventilation in Louisville’s streetcars and public places.

Health Officer Baker and USPHS officer Lt. R. B. Norment asked movie house managers to prevent congestion and to ventilate thoroughly their theaters between films and asked CARTOON COURTESY OF THE INFLUENZA ENCYCLOPEDIA. the Street Railway Co. to

keep the windows in their streetcars wide open at all times. Further, Baker issued a prohibition against public funerals in order to prevent an assembly of people, several of which would likely have had contact with the disease. (4) The next day, Baker and Norment advised residents to walk rather then take streetcars, to stay home if they felt ill and to avoid crowds. Physicians were told to report cases of influenza to the Louisville health department. (5) On Oct. 2, Dr. Joseph N. McCormack, secretary of the state Board of Health, made influenza a reportable disease across Kentucky and ordered local boards of health to placard and quarantine any infected households for a minimum of ten days. (6) Influenza was already circulating amongst Louisville residents. By September 20, a week before these measures were put into effect, some 50 civilian cases had been reported to the health department, although health officials would only confirm that three of them were actually “Spanish” influenza. (7)

By Oct. 7 it was clear that Louisville’s nascent influenza epidemic was spreading.

Norment, now acting City Health Officer while Baker was on medical leave, directed the city’s district, tuberculosis and health department nurses to begin preparations for the likelihood of a more widespread civilian epidemic. The most immediate need was for automobiles to help visiting nurses make speedy responses to those in need. The Motor Service League turned to the women of Louisville, who responded generously with their automobiles; on weekends, nurses used municipal vehicles. (8) Louisville’s charitable nursing associations organized home care for the city. On the morning of Oct. 7, the Babies’ Milk Fund Association and the King’s Daughters’

CARTOON COURTESY OF THE INFLUENZA ENCYCLOPEDIA.

District Nurse Association (which would merge in 1919 to become the Public Health Nurses’ Association) and the Board of Tuberculosis agreed to coordinate nursing care through the District Nurse Association.

Starting the next day, supplemental nurses worked alongside Louisville’s regular district nurses to care for influenza victims in their homes. Until the number of new cases became overwhelming, nurses conducted all investigations and placarded homes. As the number of emerging cases accelerated, the police stepped in to do the placarding. (9) The Red Cross Home Service, Associated Charities and, eventually, the Emergency Hospital, worked effectively to supply meals for the sick. Writing in Public Health Nurse, a Louisville visiting nurse superintendent later praised the cooperation that took place among the city’s private and public health agencies — it occurred “without one hour lost in friction or needless argument.” (10) On the same day that Acting Health Officer Norment met with visiting nurses, state Board of Health Secretary McCormack issued a statewide order closing all churches, schools and places of amusement or assembly until further notice. Louisville Mayor George W. Smith issued a statement endorsing the state order and putting it in full effect in his city. (11) To augment the efforts, Norment met with Louisville’s Retail Merchant’s Association to stagger the LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

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stop and rest for their own welfare. (19) Then, suddenly, the number of new influenza cases started to drop, prompting some to surmise that the epidemic would soon come to an end. On Oct.18, members of the state Board of Health, the U.S. Public Health Service, military authorities and a number of local Kentucky health officers — including Norment — met at the Seelbach Hotel to discuss the possibility of lifting the ban, at least in Louisville. Instead, state health authorities not only affirmed the existing closures but also tightened and extended the restrictions. Effective CARTOON COURTESY OF THE INFLUENZA ENCYCLOPEDIA. the next day, the state Board of Health ordered all saloons and soft work hours of store employees as a way of drink stands to close between 6:30 p.m. until relieving crowded streetcar conditions. (12) 6:30 am. Only churches and synagogues On Oct. 12, the health department had some measure of latitude — the Board reported that a total of 2,300 cases of influpermitted churches to open for individual enza had appeared since Sept. 28. (13) Louisville’s citizens moved to help, volunteering prayer and meditation. (20) Louisville’s epidemic continued to abate even more automobiles to the Women’s over the course of the rest of the month. By Service League and Louisville Automobile Oct. 22, the city’s newspapers were happily Club, in turn permitting visiting nurses to increase their home visits. (14) By the end of reporting that influenza’s high mark had been reached two weeks earlier and that the month, nurses made a staggering 2,589 the number of new cases was on the steady calls, routinely working seven days a week decline. (21) On Oct. 30, state and local to ensure that all who needed it received health officers as well as representatives care. (15) Even acting Health Officer Norfrom the Red Cross and the Louisville Board ment made use of volunteer transportation. of Trade met once again at the Seelbach He and his assistants drove house to house to discuss the lifting of the bans. Norment one Saturday, distributing pamphlets on stated his belief that the city’s epidemic had influenza. (16) The Louisville Advertising run its course and that there would be no Club agreed to work with a special state danger in allowing public gathering places committee to provide daily public educato reopen. Clergy argued that allowing regution in the state’s newspapers. (17) Later, lar religious services would lift the morale when Christmas approached, merchants and spirit of residents and thus stimulate voluntarily restricted some of their seasonal their resistance to influenza. The argupromotions and implemented other changes ments fell on deaf ears, as once again the to minimize crowds. (18) state Board of Health voted to continue the As the epidemic gained in intensity, hospitals soon were stretched to the breaking closure orders, although this time it provided a possible time frame for when they might point. The health department interceded by be lifted — one week. The problem was not opening a 75-bed emergency hospital at the so much with Louisville as it was with the Hope Rescue Mission on Oct. 13, under the surrounding Jefferson County, which was direct supervision of acting health officer still in the midst of a serious epidemic. If Norment. The emergency facility had the Louisville were allowed to reopen, some capacity to expand to 110 beds, which it did believed that visitors would flock to the city just days later. Volunteers, including some for amusement, thus bringing influenza with public school nurses, labored so tirelessly to them. (22) Until the situation in Jefferson help patients — many of whom were picked County improved, the bans would remain in up half dying from the streets — that mediplace. cal staff sometimes forced the volunteers to

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

As October turned into November, condi- and that, while Louisville would experitions in Louisville continued to improve. ence elevated case burdens throughout Finally, on Nov. 6, the state Board of Health the winter, residents need not fear a return announced that the closure order and gatherof the epidemic. (25) A little over a week ing ban would be lifted for the Louisville later, attendance at schools in the Crescent area effective Sunday, Nov. 10 for churches Hill neighborhood had dropped by 50% and Monday, Nov. 11 for all other places. due to influenza. Physicians reported a The Board omitted mention of the business considerable increase in cases. In fact, a hour restrictions on saloons and soda foungroup of concerned physicians petitioned tains, as these measures were enacted in a McCormack and the state Board of Health separate order. Secretary McCormack stated to re-implement the closure order and that the Board would have to take up this gathering bans so that the epidemic could be issue at its next meeting, although he hinted brought under control. The Board refused that the decision might be left up to local the request because members hoped that a health officials. Norment, pleased that the recently shipped supply of 100,000 doses major closure order would soon be removed, of influenza serum would soon do the job. vowed to ensure that saloons and soda founIn the meantime, the Board asked residents tains followed the restricted business hours to avoid crowds, cover their coughs and for the time being. (23) sneezes and remain in bed if feeling ill. (26) Churches reopened on Sunday, Nov. 10, On Dec. 12, Health Officer Baker — the first time the pews were occupied for returned from his medical leave — called a regular service in five weeks. To prepare meeting of the mayor, Norment and McCorfor the complete reopening of the city and mack, as well as representatives of the medito help stave off a return of the epidemic, cal community, churches, schools, fraternal the Louisville Boards of Health and Public organizations, businesses and amusement Safety issued a set of regulations to prevent concerns to discuss whether Louisville crowding. All stores were to be fully should implement a second round of closure ventilated at all times and kept at a proper orders. (27) Of particular concern were temperature. All employees exhibiting schoolchildren. Reviewing the latest data, symptoms of the group agreed illness were to that a second be sent home at school closure once, returnorder was necesing to work sary. The next day, only when Baker announced provided with a that schools would certificate from be closed and their physician. children under Stores were to 14 banned from employ enough theaters and other staff to prevent public gathering congestion. places effective For pool halls Dec. 14. (28) To and bowling further safeguard alleys, owners youngsters, the and managers city health departwere to grant ment stationed admittance to inspectors in those actually stores and motion engaged in picture theaters to games. Movie serve as enforchouse and theers. (29) Children ater managers did not have to were likewise wait long before CARTOON COURTESY OF THE INFLUENZA ENCYCLOPEDIA. prohibited regaining admitfrom allowing crowds to gather inside their tance to their favorite places of amusement. establishments. This did not prevent crowds Within two weeks the epidemic subsided of eager entertainment seekers from formdrastically, leading Baker to reopen Louising long lines as people rushed to purchase ville’s schools on Dec.30. A week later, he tickets for the evening’s shows. (24) announced that children could once again

By Thanksgiving, physicians were attend movie houses and 5-and-10 cent reporting a slight but nonetheless noticestores. (30) able increase in influenza cases. Norment remained optimistic that the worst was over

CONCLUSION

Louisville was not quite out of the woods yet, however. In late-February 1919, the health department documented a sudden, third spike in influenza cases that lasted approximately five weeks. The cases were generally much milder this time, however and thus neither Baker nor the state Board of Health considered issuing a third closure order. It was not until the end of spring that conditions returned to normal.

Between Sept. 26 and Nov. 16, 1918, Louisville physicians reported a total of 6,736 cases of influenza to the health department, of which 577 resulted in death. (31) Louisville’s excess death rate for the fall and winter was 406 per 100,000 people, average for its geographic region. Cincinnati, for example, had an excess death rate of 451 per 100,000 and Dayton 410. To the south, Nashville fared much worse, with an excess death rate of 610 per 100,000.

There can be no doubt that Louisville, like nearly every city, was challenged to care for its stricken during this time. The quick and decisive action of city officials and especially the health department, however, greatly mitigated what could have been a much worse epidemic. Under the auspices of the health department, hospital and home care were organized and coordinated, incorporating the help of the Red Cross, the Visiting Nurses and other community charities and services. As the tempo of new cases increased, successful calls for volunteers and the creation of a well-staffed temporary emergency hospital augmented the system of care. Many other American cities had to plead for volunteers, both from within and from without. In Louisville, the situation was well enough in hand throughout the epidemic that the city was able to furnish nurses to hard stricken communities in the hardscrabble sections of eastern Kentucky.

(32) • Footnotes: 1 “Influenza Rampant,” Louisville Times, 24 Sept. 1918, 8; “Flu Cases Increase,” Louisville Times, 25 Sept. 1918, 1; “Steps Taken to Prevent Flu Spread,” Louisville Times, 28 Sept. 1918, 1.

2 “Sweeping Order Issued to Men at Local Camp,” Louisville Times, 27 Sept.

1918, 1.

3 “Closes shows to soldiers,” The Courier-Journal 3 Oct. 1918 1.

4 “City and U.S. Take Steps to Check Spread of Flu,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 27 Sept. 1918, 10.

5 “Join Hands in Fight on Flu,” Louisville Times, 28 Sept. 1918, 1.

6 Annual Report of the Board of Health, City of Louisville, KY, for the fiscal year ended August 31, 1919. [Louisville: 1919], 38-39.

7 “Spanish Flu Is Discovered Here; Three Infected,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 20 Sept. 1918, 1.

8 “Women Asked to Loan Cars to ‘Flu’ Workers,” Louisville Times, 3 Oct. 1918, 12; Louisville, Ky. Board of Health. Annual Report of the Board of Health, City of Louisville, KY, for the fiscal year ended August 31, 1919 (Louisville, 1919), 53.

9 Annual Report of the Board of Health, City of Louisville, KY, for the fiscal

year ended August 31, 1919 (Louisville, 1919), 53.

10 Helen B. Lupton, “Influenza in Louisville, Ky.” Public Health Nurse vol. 9, no. 1 (1919): 48.

11 “Schools to Close while Flu Rages,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 7 Oct. 1918, 1.

12 “Closing Order Hits Churches,” The Courier-Journal, 8 Oct. 1918, 4.

13 “No Rest for City Health Officials,” Louisville Times, 12 Oct. 1918, 3.

14 “State board to enlarge rules for quarantine,” Louisville Times, 9 Oct. 1918, 1, 11.

15 Helen B. Lupton, “Influenza in Louisville, Ky.” Public Health Nurse vol.9, no. 1 (1919): 48; “No Rest for City Health Officials,” Louisville Times, 12 Oct. 1918, 3.

16 “No Rest for City Health Officials,” Louisville Times, 12 Oct. 1918, 3.

17 “Will Help Educate Public as to Flu,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 20 Oct. 1918, 8.

18 “Health Edict Banishes Santa,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 9 Nov. 1918, 1, 2.

19 Louisville, Ky. Board of Health. Annual report of the Board of Health, City of Louisville, KY, for the fiscal year ended August 31, 1919 (Louisville, 1919), 53.

20 “Ban Tightened to Check ‘Flu,’” Louisville Courier-Journal, 19 Oct. 1918, 1,2.

21 “City Gains in Fight on Flu,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 22 Oct. 1918, 1.

22 “Flu Lid Still Clamped Down,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 31 Oct. 1918, 1.

23 “’Flu’ Quarantine is Modified Here; Effective Sunday,” Louisville CourierJournal, 7 Nov. 1918, 1; “Flu’ Ban Lifted, Subject to Rule of Local Board,” Louisville Times, 7 Nov. 1918, 7.

24 “’Flu’ Lid is Off; Churches Open,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 10 Nov. 1918, 1; “Schools Open this Morning,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 11 Nov. 1918, 2.

25 “Flu Showing Increase; Norment is Optimistic,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 26 Nov. 1918, 1; “Flu Cases Take Spurt,” Louisville Times, 30 Nov. 1918, 12.

26 “Seventy Cases Now,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 3 Dec. 1918, 9; “Hold Quarantine to See Results Serum May Give,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 7 Dec. 1918, 8.

27 “Flu Ban May Be Clamped Down,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 13 Dec. 1918, 1, 2.

28 “Tots Barred from Crowds,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 14 Dec. 1918, 1,2.

29 “Influenza on Wane; May Lift Ban Jan. 1,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 27 Dec. 1918, 5.

30 “Modified Ban on Influenza off Dec. 30,” Louisville Times, 28 Dec. 1918, 1; “Influenza Ban is Entirely Lifted,” Louisville Times, 6 Jan. 1919, 1.

31 Annual report of the Board of Health, City of Louisville, KY, for the fiscal year ended August 31, 1919 (Louisville, 1919), 38.

32 “East Kentucky in Dire Straits,” Louisville Courier-Journal, 2 Nov. 1918, 1.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6

MOTHER NATURE’S HARD RESET

literal event. In the meantime, the leading contender for “final reaper of apex primates” is a virus with an ominous name.

I have been disappointed in the past, certainly. Many times, in fact.

There was SARS and swine flu and that brief outbreak of monkeypox. All of them barely made a dent in our dumb species.

Then came Ebola. The first reports described victims gushing blood from every orifice, and, I mean, hell, that’s practically biblical. I would be willing to bet that there’s a Midrash or a Hadith or at least a “Left Behind” novel that mentions “wicked men bleeding from their eyes” or something close. Surely, I thought, surely Ebola is it.

But it, too, was quickly contained, without a single case contracted in the United States.

Despite all these close calls, my money is on novel coronavirus as the coup de grâce.

My two-hour odyssey into Kroger yesterday

confirmed my suspicions. Doomsday preppers in hunting gear and transition lenses everywhere, lines out the door, no ramen noodles left. Now schools have closed, and the biggest employers are shuttering. Even the most decadent-and-depraved Derby events are getting called off. The rate at which the wheels of society are grinding to a halt suggests to me that this is not another false alarm.

And thanks to the rightward tilt of the planet’s politics these last few years, the drivers are all incompetent, narcissistic, sciencedenying, doorknob-licking baboons.

The conditions are right for humankind’s Big Finish.

To be extra sure, I asked environmental scientists — truly amazing, top-of-their-field scientists — to confirm my suspicions. Isn’t this just nature striking back?

Dr. Margaret Carreiro, a professor emerita of biology at the UofL, said: “The way you posed your question is not the way a scientist would, because you are giving all of nature purposeful sentience. But is it possible that we can so harm our planet that we destabilize civilized society such that we fight among ourselves for resources at the national, tribal and individual levels? Yes. Climate disruption is doing that right now.

And disruptions of nature and society cause infectious disease epidemics as well.”

So… yes? I’ll take it as a yes.

Another esteemed public health researcher, one who asked me to keep his name out of this, agreed. “Nature has no consciousness. It will not intend to kill us. However, we could set up the world to be a very inhospitable place and, in fact, we are well on the road to doing it. Consider a tree. A very benign thing when standing. However, it is very massive and when falling can do unpredictable things that humans cannot resist. I’ve seen human loggers completely obliterated — literally exploded — when hit by a tree trunk falling down a hill. A tree can weigh, what, a million pounds tops? But spinning unpre-

dictably, it can pulverize a human. We are talking hundreds of billions of tons of excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. The impact and persistence of that much outof-balance material is the largest threat to humanity. Coronavirus is the acute problem that we should focus on, but you see how poorly we are dealing with it.”

And so what are the chances that coronavirus constitutes the finishing move in this mashup of the “The Game of Life” and “Mortal Kombat” we’re all in? [Dear editor: whatever you do, please leave in the “Game of Life”/”Mortal Kombat” reference; it is important to the story and very funny.

Also please leave in this note, so people will know it’s funny.]

Dr. Carreiro (who is having none of my nonsense) simply said, “Not likely.” Mystery scientist (who is having only some of my nonsense) said, “Virtually zero. First we understand the germ theory of disease. Agents cause the diseases. We have developed a public health infrastructure based on that understanding. Second, Nature has no intent to kill us. It lacks both empathy for us and evil intent against us. We do stupid things. We used to allow rats to live in our thatched roofs. Some people eat bats. But overall, we have an understanding of what agents we are dealing with and we develop strategies using the different levels of prevention to isolate so as to prevent spread. Finally, germs tend to become less virulent as they move through a population, since killing us usually limits the spread.”

“Also the data from China are encouraging. China has had 80,000 cases and 3,100 deaths. Yesterday they added 18 cases and 11 deaths. They are testing 200,000 people per day. It looks that they may be on the down slope. We are not. We have had 1,573 cases, but 272 yesterday. We are on the upslope, probably the very beginning of it.

They had it start in one region, we had 35 different points of origin. The precautions we are taking are indeed warranted.”

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

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Fine, no apocalypse.

That’s what the scientists say. But what do they know? Science can’t tell us literally everything. So, I asked my wife and daughters, since they are now the only people I am allowed to see anymore. As it turns out, Athena, age 7 (and pretty good at science), agreed with the professionals. When asked if she thought the coronavirus would mean the end of humanity, she said, “Nooooo! This is only one big hit! It’s possible that after this people will still get it but not as often. You might already know this, but coronavirus came from China. This captain guy, he contracted this new virus three days late. And it caused this big coronavirus, just going all over the world. Here are some places you might not want to go: Italy, China, maybe even Indiana.” Calliope, age 3, said, “No. Because the coronavirus doesn’t suck blood.” Valerie, age 38, said, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Could you go do something else? You’re scaring the kids.”

For my part, I am content to turn blue and drop quite early in the pandemic, if need be. Some eggs have to be broken to make the planet’s great frittata and in this scenario, I am the quintessential egg: a self-righteous keyboard warrior pecking out an article poking fun at the very thing that does me in.

Just deserts! Poetic irony! A Hollywood ending!

I wouldn’t be surprised if I slumped over at my keyboard before my deadline.

Then again, being stuck in a warm house with people I love, huddled around movies and board games and boxes of undelivered Girl Scout cookies wrapped in plastic — all this has me thinking there’s something worth sticking around for. Maybe my little girls and your kids, can be part of the next generation of scientists and science believers and reformists and by-god miracle workers who build benevolent, superintelligent machines that suck carbon out of the air, viruses out of bodies and hubris out of the greater primates. Maybe they can gather the mustard seeds of the Earth and grow them into mighty forests, full of humanpulverizing trees. Maybe they’ll continue our legacy as the dominant species, but with the respect and courtesy we owe our planet and the other living critters on it. If not, there’s always the next pandemic to look forward to. • Dan Canon is a civil rights lawyer and law professor. “Midwesticism”is his shortdocumentary series about Midwesterners who are making the world a better place.

Watch it at: patreon.com/dancanon.

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

LIFE IN THE AGE OF CORONAVIRUS

NO, REALLY, PLEASE STAY HOME

By Heidi Taylor | leo@leoweekly.com

This is the point that everyone ought to ask FIRST and foremost, we Introverts have themselves, as newly born Introverts but still had it right well before the Age of Corona members of the Human Community, the folcame down upon us. Other People are gross lowing two questions: How can I help and generally for any number of reasons, giving what do you need?

Introverts an ethos of Social Distancing as The answer to their default. the first question I’m not saying that the Introverts have is fairly simple. been right all along, but I am saying you can Please stay home. fill in the blank for yourself. I would dance Everyone can in the streets if Social Distancing was made absolutely stay mandatory. Actually, I would follow instruchome for their own tions and stay home instead. health and wellbeRight now, everything is fine. ing and everyone Everything is OK. else’s health and Everyone’s allergies are just starting to wellbeing. So, bother them, too, because this is Louisville, immune-comproand everything is just starting to bloom, but mised persons stay one of you isn’t experiencing springtime home as Introverts allergies. already do, let Maybe two of you. alone in the middle Maybe 2,000 of you, for all we know, of a pandemic. since testing for the virus is too low to accuPlease stay rately determine how many people have it home. Read a already and just aren’t showing symptoms. book. Read a book Gov. Andy Beshear’s actions, thus far, to your kids, if you have been the best actions that anyone have them. Write could have taken in the absence of other a book. Write a leadership. His observation as someone with book for your parents in their 70s that everyone needs to kids. Hang out stay home even if they don’t feel unwell is with your kids and the best guidance the Commonwealth could your family but ask for. please stay home Hopefully, everyone is on the same page while you’re doing now that the Sears catalogue on the back of it. No movies, the toilet tank has regained relevance, and no malls, no parks, no playgrounds, please we’re all embracing this concept of Social just stay home. I would even encourage the Distancing for the Greater Good. readership to stay away from the library, but Yes? OK, good. they’re already closed.

Were you able to find everything you A second answer is taken from the great needed at the smaller place, opposed to sage Sylvia Waleverything ters. If you have that was found yourself panic bought on a break from out from I’m not saying that the work or school, Buy ‘n’ Introverts have been right keep an eye on Large? OK, neighborgood. all along, but I am saying the hood children Now that we’ve estab- you can fi ll in the blank for because their parents may still lished that yourself. I would dance have to work. Be everyone your Brother and should be in the streets if Social Sister’s keeper an Introvert for the right Distancing was made like Introreasons during verts were mandatory. these interesting doing all times. along, let’s The third dig deeper.

answer to this question that ought to be the first is Wash. Your. Hands. Soap and water is the most effective way to keep germs from spreading. It doesn’t have to be fancy or antibacterial soap, just soap and running water.

The first answer to the question “what do you need?” is support your local businesses.

Buy a gift card or two as quickly as possible for when we all can be Extroverts again, or at least limitedly in my case. Buy ‘n’ Large will survive this storm just fine because it already accrued worth that will sustain it, but local places cannot do the same.

The second answer to the same question is: Every musician out there ought to set up a live feed with their Venmo information. Even as Introverts, we all live a world with a Ray Bradbury toy in our pockets that connects us all together where we can all watch each others art as Introverts. There are concerts and albums to make during this Age of Corona; as the same with novels and words.

The third answer to this question that ought to be the first is, again, Please. Wash.

Your. Hands.

As Introverts tend to work, these are interesting but exciting times since now all the Introverts from the start have enough time on their hands to write and the Social Distance to be left alone to work.

Keep in mind that Shakespeare wrote “King Lear” during the Plague, as Isaac Newton figured out gravity and early calculus during the same event.

While I am not saying that something that critical will come out of all of this, I am saying that in light of the accuracy of Introversion and Social Distancing in action, one can only hope. • Heidi Taylor is an MFA candidate of Poetry at Spalding University.

BECAUSE YOU CAN’T SPELL CORONAVIRUS WITHOUT CORONA

THE LEO CORONAVIRUS 2020 DRINKING GAME YOU KNOW how drinking games work. You get the pleasure of a good buzz or blackout drunk while satisfying that need to justify why you are getting a good buzz or blackout drunk. The LEO Coronavirus 2020 Drinking Game is similar to that, but this version is for a subject a bit more serious than, say, a Trump speech (“Chiiiina”) or how many times Jesse says “bitch” on “Breaking Bad.” And, to play, you will need a veritable bar full of liquor and beer, but you can substitute what you want because we expect a run on liquor stores now that the grand and august governor has closed all bars in Louisville (we actually think that is a good move). So, let’s get to playing and drinking!

DRINK A BROWN NOTE ALE FROM AGAINST THE GRAIN BREWERY AND SMOKEHOUSE IF: You are one of those idiots who bought a forest worth of toilet paper even though the virus does not make you go any more than regularly, so to speak.

DRINK A CORONA (WE COULDN’T RESIST) WITH A WEDGE OF LIME IF: You actually have the disease, because what goes better than coronavirus than lyme disease?

DRINK A RED BULL WITH AN ADDERALL CHASER FOR EVERY TIME: tRump tries to downplay the severity of the outbreak, like when he said: “The Democrats are politicizing the coronavirus. One of my people came up to me and said, ‘Mr. President, they tried to beat you on Russia, Russia, Russia.’ That did not work out too

well. They could not do it. They tried the impeachment hoax. ... They tried anything. ... And this is their new hoax.” tRump is contradicted by one of his staff or an expert in the medical community, like when Dr. Anthony Fauci disputed Herr Donald’s assertion that “testing has been going very smooth.” Fauci said: “The system is not really geared to what we need right now, what you are asking for. That is a failing.

Let’s admit it.” tRump contradicts one of his staff or experts in the medical community, like: “Now, this is just my hunch, but based on a lot of conversations with a lot of people that do this, because a lot of people will have this and it is very mild ... ” tRump says something so wacky that gets you sober, like: “It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear”

DRINK THE ENTIRE BOTTLE OF PAPPY VAN WINKLE 15 YEAR YOU HAVE BEEN KEEPING IN YOUR GUN SAFE UNTIL YOU MADE YOUR FIRST MILLION IF: You have lost your last nickel in the stock market or your 401k is now a 201k.

You have lost your job at a local restaurant or bar, and your rent is due.

The Kentucky phone number and web site for unemployment claims do not work.

DRINK THE WARM PBR YOU FOUND UNDER THE SEAT OF YOUR CAR IF: The panic and desperation felt community-wide because of the coronavirus has got you thinking that maybe, just maybe we should pay more attention to climate change.

DRINK LIKE IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT IF: It is... :-o

A MAD CORONAVIRUS-LIB

A TORTOISE IN CRISIS

A DARK ILLNESS (VERB) the nation.

Fear and confusion (VERB) every city and town. Some took precautions to help their (NOUN), particularly the elders. The more (ADJECTIVE) ones said it was all (NOUN) and everything would be fine.

From state to state, animals of all colors, backgrounds and leg counts looked to their elected leaders for help.

This is the story of one particularly powerful, (ADJECTIVE) tortoise, who doesn’t care about (PRONOUN) but himself.

The tortoise was a very old, (ADJECTIVE), (ADJECTIVE) tortoise who had become the most powerful animal in the Senate. Despite his age and slow nature, the tortoise could make the Senate move as fast as he wanted.

The (ADJECTIVE) tortoise was also trying to protect his (NOUN) in an election year. Unfortunately for the tortoise, his political fate was to the president — a rare, orange, blobfish — President Blobfish — who did not want to look like a (NOUN) and a (NOUN), so he (VERB) the animals into thinking everything was fine. Worried he might (VERB) President Blobfish, the tortoise decided he didn’t care how many animals got sick, lost their (NOUN), (NOUN) or (NOUN), not even a global pandemic would force the Senate to work over the weekend on his watch. He was going to save his own (NOUN) at all costs.

So, against the advice of Dr. Penguin and the waddle of experts from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the tortoise decided he was going to (VERB) to his home in Louisville, Kentucky to attend an (NOUN) for a kangaroo he recently had confirmed to the federal court. He even (VERB) his wife, a chameleon who was Secretary of Transportation, and a kangaroo of the Supreme Court to accompany him.

In the days leading up to the event, more and more animals caught the (NOUN) and all (plural NOUN) were canceled. But, the tortoise always stuck to his plan.

Once in Louisville, the tortoise (VERB) the regular updates from the golden retriever recently elected as Kentucky’s governor — a retriever all Kentucky animals had (VERB) for his (ADJECTIVE), (ADJECTIVE) and (ADJECTIVE) during the crisis.

The tortoise was not particularly fond of the retriever, but he was happy the crisis had not happened during the previous (NOUN’s) administration. “Thank goodness that (ADJECTIVE) weasel isn’t still the

governor,” he thought.

The tortoise wanted to (VERB) before the big celebration, but, recently, whenever he went out to eat in Louisville, other animals would (VERB) him. Not wanting to embarrass himself in front of the kangaroo, he decided to go to the Highlands Krogmart… his Krogmart of choice. When he got there, he was shocked to find the grocery had been cleaned out by (ADJECTIVE) animals, preparing to (VERB) at home. He was so surprised they were sold out of (NOUN), he pooped his shell. The real (NOUN) set in when he went to get toilet paper for the poop on his undershell, and they were sold out!

The tortoise began to believe there was a crisis. But he would stick to the plan.

At the celebration, the tortoise thought all the other animals could see how (ADJECTIVE) and (ADJECTIVE) he was (but he had been (ADJECTIVE) and (ADJECTIVE) for the last two decades, so nobody noticed the discomfort his poop shell was causing him). The kangaroo’s court ceremony was as (ADJECTIVE) and (ADJECTIVE) as expected — as if none of the animals realized that the American Bar Association called this kangaroo “unqualified” for the job. The tortoise made brief remarks, including a “Star Wars” joke and smiled… which did make things (ADJECTIVE).

Later in the evening, close to midnight, the tortoise got a call: The Hare, Speaker of the House, a tireless leader, had worked through the weekend until she struck a deal with the Treasury Secretary — a (NOUN) the size of a man — to provide federal emergency assistance to animals affected by the virus crisis.

Most important to the tortoise, even President Blobfish supported the emergency action. But the tortoise was out of town, so the Senate was closed, and all of the animals had to wait for the tortoise to (VERB) his way back to the Capitol.

When he finally returned and reconvened the Senate, he didn’t want to shell the (NOUN) for being (ADJECTIVE), (ADJECTIVE) and (ADJECTIVE) of the animals he is supposed to serve. But he also didn’t want the Hare to get any credit. He needed to appear (ADJECTIVE) but also find a way to take credit for the Hare’s hard work.

He thanked the (NOUN)-man Treasury secretary for his work, and added we need to take “further steps ... further steps ... further steps ... ” After, he went to the (NOUN) to (VERB) the shit off his shell. There was no toilet paper. “Maybe this is a real crisis,” the tortoise thought. “Oh well, what’s a little shit on your shell? I’ll still eat those Kentucky Democratic (NOUN) for lunch.” • LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

CORONAVIRUS AND KENTUCKY

SO, YOU ARE STUCK AT HOME WITH YOUR, GASP... FAMILY

19.

By Danielle Grady | dgrady@leoweekly.com HAVE you got the illness? No, not the novel coronavirus. The other one — the pandemic panic, the isolation insanity.

We’re being told to stay home from work and school with only ourselves — or worse, our families — for company.

And it could last for months.

How do we survive this, let alone the virus, according to professional therapists?

Social interaction often brings out positive emotions and being alone can lead to negative thoughts, said Kevin Chapman, a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of The Kentucky Center for Anxiety & Related Disorders.

“Anytime you’re in quote unquote ‘isolation,’ that can have a negative impact on your health,” he said.

He suggests battling this with exercise like yoga, watching movies or talking to a friend through a phone/ video call or social media.

“This is one of those times where technology can be beneficial,” he said.

“Like being able to have access to people via FaceTime, something we take for granted; being able to catch up on shows on Netflix and such.”

Kimberly Maugans, a licensed clinical social worker and owner of East Louisville Counseling, suggested using mindfulness apps, such as Headspace or Calm, which feature guided meditations and stretching exercises. She also recommended a practice called future planning, which involves mapping out something positive, such as a far-off vacation or a home project to tackle in the summer.

Maugans, who is also a marriage counselor, said that if you’re stuck with someone, schedule time to be separate from your family and time to be together, having fun.

How much time depends on who is involved in the relationship.

“So, some people and some couples need lots of quality time together, and that’s just fine,” she said. “But maybe you’re an introvert and you need time to be alone to regain energy.”

The key is to be mindful of what type of person your family member is and allow for that.

For the more generalized anxiety that comes with being faced with a global epidemic, Chapman and Maugans warned against letting worry to take over.

“One of the things to keep in mind if you are in the face of an epidemic: Do what you can control,” said Chapman.

That means following advice that government agencies such as the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have helpfully laid out, such as washing your hands and avoiding crowds. But try to not think too far beyond that.

It’s important to live in the moment and practice being mindfully aware, Chapman said. The same things that help with isolation can help with that, such as exercise and mindfulness apps.

Maugans recommends limiting coronavirus media coverage intake to five to 10 minutes a day. (May we suggest reading only the LEO and nothing else).

Anxiety, Chapman explained, is a future-oriented problem.

“It’s never about the present

moment,” he said. “It’s always about a potential threat in the future.”

As of last Thursday, Louisville resident Paul Howard was sticking to doctor’s orders when it came to coronavirus.

“I think it’s something to worry about but not to the extent that everyone’s kind of freaking out about it, like going out and buying armfuls of hand sanitizer,” he said.

Howard is a barber, so he comes into contact with the public constantly, but he said he was more concerned for his wife, who has Type 1 diabetes, his baby and what to do if he can’t work.

Howard does not receive paid leave.

“I could deal with sitting around,” he said. “My only concern would be taking the time off and not making money.”

Howard’s place of work, Spanish Fly Barbershop, announced that it was closing on Monday.

It may not solve the problem, but from a mental health standpoint, Chapman suggested (you guessed it) being present, as a reaction to not being paid.

When you’re focused on the moment, he said, you can keep emotions of anxiety, sadness and anger from overwhelming you.

One More Tip: Instead of telling yourself not to touch your face like the CDC suggests, Chapman recommended changing your self-talk to something more positive, such as: “I will be more aware of touching my face.”

“Anytime I say not to do something, it’s going to increase the frequency of me doing it,” he said. •

louisvillecovid19match.com.

The Office of Resilience & Community Services is serving packages of frozen meals to those over 60 at six centers, open on different days of the week from 10 a.m. to noon. Learn more at louisvilleky.gov.

The Louisville Metro Council recommends donating time and money to the Association of Community Ministries, a faith-based network that helps with food, utility bills, housing and household supplies. It expects an increase in appointments and calls, so it needs healthy people and those under

60 to deliver food and services. Get involved at louisvilleministries.com.

The LEE Initiative has started a Restaurant Workers Relief Program to provide meals and supplies to industry employers. Donations can be given at leeinitiative.org or Facebook page.

Supplies will be provided to restaurant employees at 621 Magnolia Ave., from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. nightly.

Apron, Inc., is providing $400 grants for bill assistance to restaurant workers who have been diagnosed with the coronavirus. Donate at aproninc.org.

—Danielle Grady

VOLUNTEERING AND DONATING IN THE TIME OF CORONA FOR THOSE of you who are young, have a secure job and are otherwise healthy, consider volunteering or donating to a Louisville group that’s helping those who aren’t in those categories.

And for those who aren’t, we know you’re independent, but there’s help out there — accept it!

Former Metro Council employee Erin Hinson is looking for people over 60 and those with preexisting conditions to participate in Louisville COVID-19 Match. It will pair you with someone who can help fetch groceries, meals and prescriptions. Sign up at

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

THORNS & ROSES THE WORST, BEST & MOST ABSURD ROSES: WHY LOCAL JOURNALISM MATTERS The Courier Journal’s reporters and editors get roses for their tireless, comprehensive coverage of The Big Story. WFPL gets in on that, too, not just providing good coverage but also for doing what radio does best: airing live reports and press conferences from state, local and national officials.

ROSE: WHY NON-NUBAG GOVS MATTER

Gov. Andy Beshear, thank the gods he is Kentucky’s governor. He gets a rose for his clearheaded, measured and proactive leadership. We imagine that if Gov.reject Matt “Nutbag” Bevin was still there, we would be subjected to prescriptions of prayer rocks and coronavirus parties, chased down with insults and selfies.

THORN + ABSURD: WHY ONCE A NUTBAG, ALWAYS A NUTBAG

Speaking of that, private citizen Bevin, who is not being private enough, issued this tweet: “Breaking News: Chicken Little has just confirmed that the sky is indeed falling... Everyone is advised to take cover immediately and to bring lots of toilet paper with them when they do so...” Maybe worse than this idiotic, even dangerous mockery of the situation and how we are responding is that the tweet got more than 1,193 likes.

ROSE: LIGHT AT END OF TUNNEL

LG&E has suspended disconnection of service until May 1 and will waive late fees between now and then.

Also, Louisville Water has suspended shutoffs for failure to pay “until further notice.”

ROSE + THORN: JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS

After getting called out by WFPL, the Jefferson County Sheriff ’s Office has stopped enforcing evictions. The sheriffs said they were just following court orders! What are they? Robots?

The sheriff executed 14 evictions on Monday and had more than 60 scheduled for this week, WFPL reported. If not for WFPL’s reporting, how many more people would have been thrown out on the street in the middle of this epidemic?

THORN: ANOTHER EPIDEMIC (GUNS)

And even as the nation, state and city focus on the virus, the gun insanity does not stop. A 3-year-old New Albany girl was shot in South Louisville. It appears to have been an accidental, self-inflicted shooting, a dispatcher told WDRB.

ABSURD: PSST... USE MINI BOURBON BOTTLES

A letter to The CJ criticized our founder, U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth, for putting sanitizer in a mini bourbon bottle to comply with the flying rules. It said: “Maybe this will help someone up to no good in the future. “ No one else had thought of that?

STAFF PICKS

Otter Creek Trail | Otter Creek Park | Meade County, Kentucky Drive – 48 minutes Park hours: Open Wednesday-Sunday from dawn to dusk; Closed on Mondays and Tuesdays Price: $3 for daily permit, $30 for annual permit

Great Hikes Within An Hour Drive Of Louisville Charlestown Trail No. 2, 3 and 6 Charlestown State Park, Indiana Drive – 34 minutes Park hours: Open seven days a week; 7 a.m.-11 p.m.

Price: (Free until March 21.) $7 for Indiana residents; $9 for others Once an undeveloped portion of the 15,000acre Indiana Army AmmuniNATURE tion plant, Charlestown State Park is now a prime destination for hiking Adobe Stock image. in Southern Indiana, with trails that feature rugged hills, deep ravines, rivers with Devonian fossil outcrops and creeks with occasional waterfalls. We suggest hiking these three trails in particular: Trail Nos. 2, 3 and 6.

Trail No. 2 is a 1.3-mile loop that takes you through an open woodland before dropping into hilly terrain that runs parallel to a creek, which, water levels permitting, has a few, small waterfalls. Trail No. 3 is a 2.2-mile loop that takes you down a cliffside and runs alongside Fourteen Mile Creek as it empties into the Ohio River. The highlight of Trail No. 3, is that it comes up to the abandoned, 1920s amusement park, Rose Island. To get there, cross the wooden bridge over Fourteen Mile Creek and follow the small, loop trail encircling the park.Trail No. 6 is a 2.3-mile loop that runs parallel to the Ohio River. Because of this trail’s proximity to water, you have a better chance of seeing wildlife in the area, particularly birds. The park hosts “72 species of birds, including bluebirds, black vultures and an occasional bald eagle,” according to Charlestown Park’s website.

Cull Hollow Trail and Elm Lick Trail | Bernheim Arboretum and Research Forest Clermont, Kentucky | Drive – 35 minutes Park hours: Open seven days a week; 7 a.m.-8 p.m.

Price: $10 donation daily Elm Lick Trail is a five-mile loop with an elevation gain of 728 feet. And with elevation gain, you can catch sweeping views. Dense forest, a large field and a river on this trail offer plenty of variety to keep your interest.Cull Hollow Trail is a 1.2-mile trail that takes you through a rocky hillside and hardwood forest to a waterfall. Surrounding the trail are rocky outcrops and large stones, but the trail is fairly easy, with a gradual incline and an elevation gain of only 265 feet. This trail is known for its frequent deer and turkey sightings.

14.

Tioga Falls Trail and Bridges To The Past | West Point, Kentucky Drive – 38 minutes Park hours: Open 24/7 (barring any military exercises) Price: Free Tioga Falls is a 1.9-mile, out-and-back trail that features a majestic series of waterfalls. The trail runs parallel to an active railroad track (stay off the track!) and passes the remnants of a 19th-century house before you reach the falls. The falls are about 130 feet high. Bridges to the Past is a 2.4-mile, out-and-back, paved trail. The trail follows the old L&N Turnpike, which was chartered in 1837 and in use until 1919. Along the trail are three stone bridges that are over 150 years old (hence the name of the trail). Sieboldt Cave is also visible from the trail, but you are not allowed to approach the caves.

Otter Creek Trail is a four-mile loop with an elevation gain of 603 feet. This trail covers the majority of the area, so expect lots of variety in your hike as you will encounter plenty of heavily-wooded areas, fields, streams, rivers and a few small caves.

Hemlock Cliffs National Scenic Trail | Hoosier National Forest, Indiana Drive – 56 minutes Open: 24/7 Price: Free Hemlock Cliffs National Scenic Trail is a 1.2-mile loop, and as you probably already guessed from the name, the highlight of this trail is the Hemlock Cliffs. The cliffs are the result of sandstone rock formations which have created a sort of box canyon in the middle of these Indiana woods. A few creeks also run through the area, so depending on water levels, you may also find a few waterfalls on the trail.

Clifty Falls State Park Loop Trail and Clifty Falls Trails 8 and 2 Clifty Falls, Indiana Drive – 59 minutes Prices vary Park hours: 7 a.m.-11 p.m.

Clifty Falls State Park Loop Trail is a five-mile loop on the rim of the entire Clifty Canyon. The trail is perfect to get a sense of the entire park, and filled with picturesque views that look down into the waterfall filled canyon. A word of advice, though: Set aside an extra hour of hiking into your timetable since the elevation gain on this trail is about 1,000 feet. Clifty Falls Trails Nos. 8 and 2 combine to make a 4.8-mile loop, and, like the Clifty Falls State Park Loop, this trail also has a large elevation change of about 862 feet. That’s because this trail will actually take you down into the canyon. While you are there, be sure to explore the Clifty Creek’s stony bed, which, according to the state park’s website, is “littered with fossil remnants telling of a long-vanished marine ecosystem that teemed with life that included ancient corals, ancestral squids, brachiopods and more.” Just be sure to leave the fossils where you found them because fossil collecting within the park is prohibited. —LEO

Yoga At Home In yo house!

If your yoga studio is closed, or you don’t feel like getting your NAMASTE regular dose of yoga in a packed room full of people swapping sweat, there is a world of free yoga videos to follow along with on YouTube. The queen bee of the YouTube yoga world is “Yoga with Adriene,” a cheery actress who leads substantial, ‘Yoga with Adriene.’ accessible lessons. Her “Power Yoga” video is a fast flow with cardio elements and lots of leg work. Another challenging YouTube video is “Feel-Good, Feel-Strong Yoga” from POPSUGAR Fitness. When you’ve repeated a practice so much that you can recite it back to your virtual instructor, you know it’s a good one.

—Danielle Grady LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

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FOR THE MOST UPPTOODATE EVENT INFORMATION, PLEASE VISIT OUR VENUE WEBSITES. ALL CHANGES IN EVENT SCHEDULES OR POSTPONEMENTS ARE COMMUNICATED DIRECTLY TOTICKETHOLDERS VIA EMAIL. THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OF OUR FANS IS OUR TOP PRIORITY.

STAFF PICKS

Great Hikes Within An Hour Drive Of Louisville

MARCH JOHNSON 25 ERIC POSTPONED. NEW DATE TBD APRIL SURVIVE 01 CIRCA POSTPONED. NEW DATE TBD

Charlestown Trail No. 2, 3 and 6 Charlestown State Park, Indiana Drive – 34 minutes Park hours: Open seven days a week; 7 a.m.-11 p.m.

Price: (Free until March 21.) $7 for Indiana residents; $9 for POSTPONED. NEW DATEothers TBD

MARCH

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Once an undeveloped portion of the 15,000PINKIndiana FLOYDArmy TRIBUTE acre AmmuniNATURE POSTPONED. NEW DATE 8/20 tion plant, Charlestown State Park is now a prime destination for hiking Adobe Stock image. in Southern Indiana, with trails that feature rugged hills, deep ravines, rivers with DevoCANCELLED nian fossil outcrops and creeks with occasional waterfalls. We suggest hiking these three POSTPONED. NEW DATE TBD trails in particular: Trail Nos. 2, 3 and 6.

Trail No. 2 is a 1.3-mile loop that takes you through an open woodland before dropping into hillyPOSTPONED. terrain that runs parallel to a creek, which, water levels permitting, has a few, small NEW DATE 8/11 waterfalls. Trail No. 3 is a 2.2-mile loop that takes you down a cliff side andNEW runs alongside POSTPONED. DATE TBD Fourteen Mile Creek as it empties into the Ohio River. The highlight of Trail No. 3, is that it comes up to the abandoned, 1920s amusement park, Rose Island. To get there, cross the wooden bridge over Fourteen Mile Creek and follow the small, loop trail encircling the POSTPONED. NEW DATE TBD park.Trail No. 6 is a 2.3-mile loop that runs parallel to the Ohio River.

Because of this trail’s proximity to water, you have a better chance of seeing wildlife in the area, particularly POSTPONED. NEW“72 DATEspecies TBD birds. The park hosts of birds, including bluebirds, black vultures and an occasional bald eagle,” according to Charlestown Park’s website.

02 SAINT JHN

APRIL UPON THIS ROCK: 03

G HERBO

UPON THIS ROCK: 04

JIM 07 BREUER 09 BLUE OCTOBER

COLE SWINDELL 11

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BRENT 15 FAIYAZ

THE PASSION PLAY THE PASSION PLAY

IN THIS 13 MOMENT CELCTIC 15 WOMAN POSTPONED. NEW DATE TBD

Cull Hollow Trail and Elm Lick Trail | Bernheim Arboretum and Research Forest Clermont, Kentucky | Drive – 35 minutes POSTPONED. NEW DATE TBD Park hours: Open seven days a week; 7 a.m.-8 p.m.

Price: $10 donation daily

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JADE BIRD

CHICAGO 17

Elm Lick Trail is a five-mile loop with an elevation gain of 728 feet. And with elevation gain, you can sweepingBALLROOM views. Dense forest, a large field and a river on this trail offer MORE AT catch MERCURY plenty of variety to keep your interest.Cull Hollow Trail is a 1.2-mile trail that takes you MORE AT LOUISVILLE PALACE FRONThillside BOTTOMS 04/30 THE through a rocky and hardwood forest to a waterfall. Surrounding the trail are rocky 05/01 MAYDAY PARADE 04/23 THE SMASHING PUMPKINS 6 large stones, but the trail is fairly 04/28 outcrops easy, with a gradual incline and an elevation 05/09 EVEand SHINEDOWN WALKER HAYES 05/14 04/29 BABY SHARK [POSTPONED] gain of only 265 feet.

This trail is known for its frequent deer andLIVE! turkey sightings.

05/16 MILKY CHANCE 05/01 DWIGHT YOAKAM 05/19 THE HU 05/12 ALTER BRIDGE 05/22 UNCLE ACID & THE DEADBEATS 05/22 JOHN PRINE AGAINST ME! & BARONESS 05/27 Falls Tioga Trail and Bridges To The Past | West 05/23Point, JOHNKentucky PRINE 06/05 REEL BIG FISH & THE AQUABATS 05/29 JOE ROGAN Drive – 38 minutes TROPIDELIC 06/06 05/30 JOE ROGAN STARSET Park Open 24/7 (barring any military06/10 exercises) 06/26hours: SCOOBY-DOO! & THE LOST CITY OF GOLD LONG BEACH DUB ALLSTARS 08/23 06/19 STEVE MARTIN & MARTIN SHORT Price: Free 10/06 JAMES ARTHUR 06/20 POD SAVE AMERICA: LIVE

Tioga Falls is a 1.9-mile, out-and-back trail that features a majestic series of waterfalls. The trail runs parallel to an active railroad track (stay off the track!) and passes the remnants of a 19th-century house before you reach the falls. The falls are about 130 feet high. Bridges to the Past is a 2.4-mile, out-and-back, paved trail. The trail follows the old L&N Turnpike, which was chartered in 1837 and in use until 1919. Along the trail are three stone bridges that are over 150 years old (hence the name of the trail). Sieboldt Cave is also visible from the trail, but you are not allowed to approach the caves.

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

STAFF PICKS

What To Watch By Yourself

Otter Creek Trail | Otter Creek Park | Meade County, Kentucky ‘Love Island’ UK on Hulu Drive – 48 minutes Park hours: Open Wednesday-Sunday from dawn to dusk; There are six seasons of this British reality dating Closed on Mondays and Tuesdays Price: $3 for daily permit, $30 for annual permit show on Hulu, each with 34 to 50 episodes each, Otter Creek Trail is a four-mile loop with an elevation gain of 603 feet. This trail covers the which means you could majority of the area, so expect lots of variety in your hike as you will encounter plenty of spend approximately 11.2 heavily-wooded areas, fields, streams, rivers and a few small caves. of your 14 self-quarantine days watching attractive Hemlock Cliffs National Scenic Trail | Hoosier National Forest,singles Indiana with hilariously Drive – 56 minutes indecipherable accents Open: 24/7 scramble to find a relaPrice: Free tionship on TV. The premHemlock s National Trail is a 1.2-mile loop,novel. and asContestants you probably ise soundsCliff a bit like thatScenic of a dystopian young adult arealready trappedguessed in a from the name, the highlight of this trail is the Hemlock Cliff s.

The cliff s are the resultup” of with villa for two months of nonstop filming. The men and women are forced to “couple sandstone rock formations which have created a sort of box canyon in the middle of these each other and sleep in beds together (which, by the way, are in one, communal room).

Indiana woods.

A few creeks alsoa run through the area, soon depending water The show is broadcast five days week, and viewers vote who stayson and wholevels, goes.you New may also fi nd a few waterfalls on the trail. “islanders” are brought in frequently to disrupt the process and to break up couples. Some are hateable, others are charming — everything is heightened by their unabashed Britishness. you’llLoop gasp,Trail you’lland starting phrases CliftyYou’ll Falls laugh, State Park Cliftyusing Falls the Trails 8 and“pied 2 off ” and “can I grab you for a chinwag” in your daily vernacular. I recommend starting with Season Five. —Danielle Clifty Falls, Indiana Drive – 59 minutes Grady Prices vary Park hours: 7 a.m.-11 p.m.

‘Money Heist’ on Netflix Clifty Falls State Park Loop Trail is a five-mile loop on the rim of theAlso entire CliftybyCanyon.

The known its Spanish trail is perfect to get a sense of the entire park, and filled with picturesque views look title “La Casa dethat Papel” down into the waterfall filled canyon. A word of advice, though: Set aside anofextra hour or “House Paper, ” thisof hiking into your timetable since the elevation gain on this trail is about Clifty crime 1,000 dramafeet. takes you Falls Trails Nos. 8 and 2 combine to make a 4.8-mile loop, and, likeinside the Clifty State the Falls assault on Park the Loop, this trail also has a large elevation change of about 862 feet.Royal That’sMint because thisin trail of Spain will actually take you down into the canyon. While you are there, be sure to explore Madrid.

Not to givethe too Clifty Creek’s stony bed, which, according to the state park’s website, is “littered with fossil much away, but it centers remnants telling of a long-vanished marine ecosystem that teemed life that included onwith a brilliant, criminal ancient corals, ancestral squids, brachiopods and more.” Just be sure to leave theassembles fossils professor who where you found them because fossil collecting within the park isaprohibited. team to take—LEO hostages and somehow move billions of Euros out of the mint. Think “The Wild Bunch” meets “Reservoir Dogs” meets “Breathless” (the French one, zut alors!). —Keith Stone

Yoga At Home No Local Shows? Listen Up!

In yo house! Venues are closing and bands If your yoga studio is closed, or youare don’t LOCAL MUSIC canceling feel like getting your NAMASTEtours, but you canofstill enjoy regular dose yoga in a local music by listening a packed room full of people swappingtosweat, monster playlist of bands that there is a world of free yoga videos to follow played at queen Kaiju, titled along with onhave YouTube.

The bee of “Kaiju!” on Spotify McKinley the YouTube yoga world is “Yogabywith Adrihip-hop, psycheene,” a cheeryMoore. actressPunk, who leads substantial, ‘Yoga with Adriene.’ delic rock — you name it, you’ll accessible lessons.

Her “Power Yoga” video is a listen to it.

—LEO fast flow with cardio elements and lots of leg work. Another challenging YouTube video is “Feel-Good, Feel-Strong Yoga” from POPSUGAR Fitness. When you’ve repeated a practice so much that you can recite it back to your virtual instructor, you know it’s a good one.

—Danielle Grady

STAFF PICKS

What To Watch By Yourself

‘American Vandal’ on Netflix

‘Love Island’ UK on Hulu

There are six seasons of this British reality dating show on Hulu, each with 34 to 50 episodes each, which means you could spend approximately 11.2 of your 14 self-quarantine days watching attractive singles with hilariously indecipherable accents scramble to find a relationship on TV. The premise sounds a bit like that of a dystopian young adult novel. Contestants are trapped in a villa for two months of nonstop filming. The men and women are forced to “couple up” with each other and sleep in beds together (which, by the way, are in one, communal room).

The show is broadcast five days a week, and viewers vote on who stays and who goes. New “islanders” are brought in frequently to disrupt the process and to break up couples. Some are hateable, others are charming — everything is heightened by their unabashed Britishness. You’ll laugh, you’ll gasp, you’ll starting using the phrases “pied off ” and “can I grab you for a chinwag” in your daily vernacular. I recommend starting with Season Five. —Danielle Grady

“American Vandal” is supposed to satirize the true-crime fad as seen in hit series such as “Making a Murderer” and “Serial.” But, even though it’s a juvenile mockumentary, with the central question being who drew the dicks on 27 cars in the Hanover High School staff parking lot, it still manages to be as intriguing and addictive as the most prestige of our real-life whodunnits. You’ll find yourself speeding through the episodes to find out who the culprit is with brief bouts of realization that what you’re watching is totally absurd. —Danielle Grady

4.

‘F is for Family’ on Netflix My affinity for animated movies and shows is probably something I should keep to myself. But, as obscure streaming shows recommendations go, “F Is For Family” on Netflix is quality entertainment: 1970s-era, middle-class American family with a punk teenager, innocent, prepubescent middle-child boy and conniving, mischievous youngest daughter. Three seasons totaling 26 episodes, all falling under 27 minutes, make for easy binging. (“Big Mouth,” also on Netflix, is too raunchy for me to publicly recommend, even in this paper, but the shock value is second to none... to be watched only in the privacy of self-quarantining, without kids.) —Aaron Yarmuth

‘Money Heist’ on Netflix Also known by its Spanish title “La Casa de Papel” or “House of Paper,” this crime drama takes you inside the assault on the Royal Mint of Spain in Madrid. Not to give too much away, but it centers on a brilliant, criminal professor who assembles a team to take hostages and somehow move billions of Euros out of the mint. Think “The Wild Bunch” meets “Reservoir Dogs” meets “Breathless” (the French one, zut alors!). —Keith Stone

No Local Shows? Listen Up!

Venues are closing and bands are LOCAL MUSIC canceling tours, but you can still enjoy local music by listening to a monster playlist of bands that have played at Kaiju, titled “Kaiju!” on Spotify by McKinley Moore. Punk, hip-hop, psychedelic rock — you name it, you’ll listen to it. —LEO

Get Out And Bike It Put some fun between your legs and get out on that bike, which you can been PEDDLE using as a laundry hanger. The local clubs are doing the right thing and have canceled their regular group rides. But who wants to go with them anyway — they are too fast! So dust off that bicycle and rediscover your neighborhood and city at 10 mph. Of course, the Big Four Bridge is a good place to get on two wheels. Here is a website we found that lists Louisville routes: bikemap.

One of the local rides detailed on bikemap.net.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

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MUSIC

CORONAVIRUS HITS LOUISVILLE’S MUSIC SCENE

21..

YOU

SHOWS AND TOURS POSTPONED, VENUES CLOSED, PEOPLE OUT OF WORK

By Scott Recker | leo@leoweekly.com

Belushi Speed Ball.

WHEN the local thrash metal band Belushi Speed Ball took the stage at Kaiju on Saturday night, singer Vinny Castellano put his head through a piece of cardboard to break the “fourth wall” and deliver a “public service announcement” about the coronavirus. The band’s manager, Señor Diablo, was wearing a makeshift hazmat suit. Hula hoops were given to audience members to promote social distancing. Rolls of toilet paper were being handed out. Guitarist Kyle Phelps, who also manages a grocery store, warned people of the dangers of panic shopping and hoarding.

The band, known for eccentric theatrics and conceptual concerts, delivered something that was part parody but mostly a serious attempt to raise awareness and keep the audience as safe as possible. And, on a weekend when musicians and venues were weighing whether to cancel shows, Belushi Speed Ball said it was performing mostly in support of Kaiju’s staff.

“Kaiju has been there so much in the past, we only felt it was right to at least be there for them before the city goes on total lockdown, and suddenly you have all of their service staff that have nothing for who knows how long,” Beau Kaelin, aka Señor Diablo, said late last week.

Now, after the governor ordered all bars

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

to close and a limit on public gatherings, all concerts will likely be canceled or postponed for at least a few weeks, a step that’s indisputably necessary but will also have a rough economic impact on places such as Kaiju, as well as virtually every other corner of the local music scene.

“It’s going to be hard to keep it going, I would imagine,” said McKinley Moore, who books Kaiju. “We’re going to be closed for two months. There’s going to be a lot of people out of work.”

6.

OFF THE ROAD

White Reaper was in Albuquerque, New Mexico last week when they decided to postpone the final two weeks of their headlining tour, which included two shows in Kentucky. Local and state governments were starting to restrict large gatherings, and since the venues they had booked were between 250- and 1,000-capacity rooms, they had little choice but to get in the van and drive home to Louisville.

“Basically, it’s the last thing that you want to do, is cancel shows, but once it affects people’s safety, is when you have to make that call, and I think that’s what it was about for us and a lot of other bands,” White Reaper keyboardist Ryan Hater said.

“It’s really just about public health and to

do everything that you can to make sure everyone stays safe.”

While the future is uncertain, White Reaper still has shows on the horizon, including a few major festival appearances and an opening slot supporting Pearl Jam on their European summer tour. While there’s no news about those dates yet, Hater said, one of the things that music fans can do, is not to get an immediate refund on postponed dates.

“If the show is postponed, don’t rush to try to get a refund right away,” Hater said.

“Wait for the make-up date, whenever it might come around. If you truly like and support that band, then you should just wait for them to come back, instead of rushing to get a refund for your ticket.”

The local punk duo GRLwood had big plans in March. They were set to tour all the way to South By Southwest, the annual March music festival and conference in Austin, Texas. But South By was canceled, and GRLwood also decided to call off the rest of their March dates. They hope to resume their tour April 7 in Rock Island, Illinois, but they’ve already lost a lot of opportunities to make money and network.

“We went fucking broke; we went fucking broke,” GRLwood singer Rej Forester said. “T-shirts and merch is your bread and butter. We literally invested all of our money.”

Using any extra money to buy merch or albums from bands is a solid way to support musicians in times like these, especially in the case of bands like GRLwood who loaded up on extra stock before having a tour canceled, but Forrester has another idea in terms of how artists and office workers could help each other out.

“It looks like, right now, the people that are getting affected the most are parents,” Forester said. “Some parents still can work, and some are still going to offices to work.

If you have child care needs, reach out to a local artist. I feel like that’s a great idea.”

AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE

Things have changed rapidly, and this is still a fluid situation. Two weeks ago, these measures seemed like a distant possibility, and now no one is sure when things will return to normal. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has recommended holding no events with 50 or more people for eights weeks, but, in reality, that time frame depends on how long it takes for the virus to be contained.

Billy Hardison, partner at Production Simple, the company that books Headliners Music Hall and Old Forester’s Paristown Hall, said, at this point, 90% to 95% of its shows that have been postponed have already been rescheduled or are awaiting rescheduling. He said that fans and patrons have been really helpful by not asking for immediate refunds. Hardison said concert dates will likely continue to shift, but that behind the scenes people are working on sensibly restructuring the logistics of tours.

“So, right now, you might still see stuff on our calendar, but ultimately it’s only on there because we’re waiting in line to be contacted,” he said. “Some agents are saying, ‘Hey, I know you’re waiting on me, I’ll get to you,’ because everyone is really working together on this — agents and promoters and managers and labels and the bands. Of course, I’m speaking at the national level.

And, of course, the local artists, they see what’s going on, and they’re following suit, and we’re basically trying to move everything a far enough distance away, and make room for it. I wish I could create a 64 day October.”

Like Belushi Speed Ball, Hardison also worries about the people who jobs depend on concerts happening. And he said we should be asking ourselves, as a community, about ways to help.

“Are there some other ways we can raise money for these workers?” Hardison said.

“This is a nationwide problem. Touring crews, merch sellers, techs, stagehands, you know, these are people on the road and in the venues. They really don’t have a safety net. I mean, as independent business people, we don’t either, but we chose to make the bigger choice of what we’re doing, risk or reward. We gamble for a living. They don’t.

So, we really feel for them.” •

MUSIC& ENTERTAINMENT | COMICS ARTS

SONIC BREAKDOWN

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT | COMICS

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD

COMIC BOOK REVIEWS!

[LEO’s biweekly Sonic Breakdown column deconstructs a single song from an area musician or band.]

ANDREW BROWN of The Kentucky Cowhands said his band swipes PREVIEW a lot of their visual and musical aesthetics from classic country-era tropes, but he also admitted that, in reality, they aren’t very “good” at being cowboys.

“I’d argue that the song is really about how much we really suck at the textbook cowboy kind of stuff,” Brown, the band’s bassist, said with a laugh. “We don’t ride horses, and I’m actually allergic to them.

Our farmhand skills are essentially nonexistent. We have no idea what we’d do if we spent any time with cattle or anything like that. I mean, we’re a country band based out of Louisville, what do you expect?”

But, sonically, “Cowhand Boogie” is exactly the song you’d expect to hear from a band named The Kentucky Cowhands. It’s chock full of feel-good rockabilly swing, rollicking stand-up bass and toe-tapping drums. Lead singer Kyle Eldridge recalls country greats like Webb Pierce and Lefty Frizzell, with catchy melodies and upbeat delivery. The songs seem like they could have stepped straight out of an old, small town dance hall.

“Musically, we’re all really inspired by a lot of classic country, Western swing, stuff like that,” Brown said. “Although, without Kyle, a lot of these songs would just sound like lame Guy Clark attempts. But, when we try and write these songs, we tend to think about certain subject matter. Like, a lot of

LET

‘Mirka Andolfo’s Mercy’ No. 1

Writer and artist Mirka Andolfo Review by Ashley Cornell, The Great Escape Louisville

Andy Brown, RC Hampton and Kyle Eldridge.

PHOTO BY ERIC MORRIS.

THE KENTUCKY COWHANDS — ‘COWHAND BOOGIE’ FROM THE FORTHCOMING LP, RIVERBOAT GAMBLER

By Tyrel Kessinger | leo@leoweekly.com

20.

songs talk about life in rural America and the usual themes that go with that. When I started writing this song, I just kept making fun of all those types of songs, honestly. ‘I ain’t no bull / I ain’t no steer / All I do is live in fear / Cause I’m a cowhand man / That’s what I am.’ To me, it’s the perfect stab at not being a good cowboy.”

Brown said his own personal history also plays a large part in the type of music he and the Cowhands write.

“You know, we’re not singer-songwriter dudes that want to vent and get something out for our own sake,” he said. “We’re trying to make lighthearted music so people can forget their struggles. I grew up in rural Appalachia where the average household income for my small town is $24,000. That’s straight-up poverty. Now, because we’re in a unique position to make music with our time, why would we want people to remember that life is hard? They know life is hard. I want them to forget and remember that there is joy to be celebrated and singing funny songs like ‘Cowhand Boogie’ I think is a path to do that.”

Brown also hopes “Cowhand Boogie” and the rest of their newest album will play a part in helping put them on the map in the coming year.

“I’m really happy with where the music coming out of Kentucky is heading,” Brown said. “Between Jack Harlow and Tyler Childers playing huge clubs and arenas along with playing on those late-night shows — we’re showing what art can really look like in 2020 here in the Bluegrass. I believe soon enough we’ll be making the same kind of waves too.” • 15.

GIVE

IT’S THE ANNIVERSARY of a horrible mine explosion and the Victorian mining town of Woodsburgh has fallen victim to a series of vicious murders. Rumors are spreading that they’re the work of the Devil of Woodsburgh, and a mysterious snow is falling out of season. On top of this, a strange and beautiful woman has appeared past curfew.

Mercy is a Victorian horror story that is predominantly the solo effort of Italian creator Mirka Andolfo. The release of “Mercy” marks the U.S. release of the English translation and follows the U.S. release of “Un/Sacred,” another solo work by Andolfo.

This newest work is the story of Eldritch Monsters, murder and superstition in a small community. The grim story is full of interesting characters whose stories appear they may yet converge.

The Lady Swanson, revered by some and hated by others, is haunted by visions of horrible creatures; an orphan prays every night to an altar dedicated to her missing mother; and just who is the beautiful Lady Hellaine?

What is preying on this small village and

how can it be stopped?

If you’re a fan of “From Hell” or “Crimson Peak,” this comic is right up your alley.

If issue No. 1 grabs your attention, you can pick up No. 2 on March 8. •

11.

‘Strange Academy’ No. 1

Writer Skottie Young and artist Humberto Ramos Review by Krystal Moore, The Great Escape Louisville

YOU

EMILY BRIGHT is a young girl who believes herself to be a magician. Her parents, on the other hand, know there’s a difference between using real-life magic and being a magician. And so they’ve asked her to hide her talents, afraid she’d be taken away from them. This plan works until a tragedy shows just how powerful her talents are. A fellow sorceress saves her from the fallout and approaches the family about a school for children like Emily.

Of course, the title of the book lets the cat out of the bag as to the founder of this school. Doctor Strange has placed the new school, hidden in plain sight, in the center of New Orleans. We meet some of the other students, including two brothers from Asgard. No, not those brothers, but they are just as different and yet, so similar.

When we finally meet the mysterious doctor, his final piece of advice for his students is: “... try not to die.” The always amazing Skottie Young is the writer, with gorgeous art by Humberto Ramos. The

splashy, bright colors by Edgar Delgado are a perfect fit for this magical tale! Issue No. 2 should be on sale April 1. •

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

17

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT | THEATER

CORONAVIRUS SHUTTERS SHOWS ACROSS LOUISVILLE

18.

NEVER

THE STAGES’ GHOST LIGHTS STAY ON THROUGH UNEXPECTED ‘DARK DAYS’

By Allie Fireel | leo@leoweekly.com THE WORLD OF THEATER is full of superstitions and dramatic turns of phrase. We call our days off “dark days.”

In Louisville, theater company after theater company has announced that they are either canceling or postponing their shows due to the coronavirus outbreak.

Some are trying to use digital streaming and are working to raise money to help until the crisis ends, but organizations and actors in Louisville are already feeling the impact.

The 2020 Humana Festival of New American Plays is over. Only two of the five world premieres — “Nicole Clark is Having a Baby” and “Are You There?” — opened. “Are You There?” only had one performance. “Where the Mountain Meets the Sea” had one preview performance, but hasn’t actually opened. “Grace” and “FLEX” will not be seen at all.

Actors Theatre’s Artistic Producer Emily Tarquin told me about what it has been like at Actors, an intense mix of emotion.

“I have witnessed a lot of problem solving through tears and simultaneous grieving and celebration in the past few days,” Tarquin said. “We are sad, we are scared, we are hopeful, and we are experiencing all of it together.”

Performances in the Henry Clay Theatre are canceled, including the end of Pandora Productions run of “La Cage aux Folles” and Bunbury Theatre’s upcoming production of “Imagining Heschel.”

Acting Against Cancer has delayed all

18

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

production of “A Streetcar Named Desire” was difficult to do.

“There have been lots of tears followed quickly with ‘but it’s the right thing,’” Huff said.

Many of Louisville’s actors teach acting for a variety of organizations including CTC, which has suspended all classes. I teach after-school classes for Looking for Lilith.

Shannon Woolley Allison, co-artistic director of Looking for Lilith Theatre, spoke about the deaths we might have seen in their prothe financial burden on artists. duction of “Murder Ballad.” The Louisville “We have numerous teaching artists that Ballet has postponed its season and its are missing work,” said Woolley Allison. annual fundraising event Raise the Barre.

“Yes, theoretically, we can make this class When the Kentucky Center for the Perup after the health concern is past, but these forming Arts announced a 30 day closure, are artists that are expecting money in multiple shows were ipso facto canceled.

March, and saying, ‘Well, you’ll get it in Chicken Coop Theatre Company canceled May,’ is not particularly useful.’”

“Grey Gardens.” Looking for Lilith Theatre Lilith was set to open “Good Grief” Co. canceled “Good Grief.” And StageOne on Thursday, March 19. It is one of many Family Theatre’s production of “Dragons groups already planning to go digital and Love Tacos” is postponed. stream their work.

The impact is already taking a toll across “Thursday, which would have been the entire theater community, financially and opening night, we’re going to stream a nice, emotionally on organizations and on indiedited version of one of our original plays vidual actors. Many actors — to use another from the past. We decided, let’s put somedramatic turn of phrase — aren’t getting a thing out there,” said Woolley Allison. chance to “say good Multiple arts orgabye” to the characters ‘I consider theaters to be nizations are working they have worked so find ways to create the most sacred spaces on to hard to bring to life. and stream content Jason Cooper was the planet,’ said actor and from our local artists, playing Georges, a and brainstorming teacher Brian Hinds. starring role in “La ways to help raise Cage aux Folles,” ‘Theater tells the stories money for artists in when Pandora Louisville Arts of being human, what it need.

Productions’ show & Culture Alliance closed early. is like to be human. And and Fund for The Arts “And you don’t are working to create the ghost light reminds realize, ‘Oh I’m a way for all of the us that people were here bigger arts organizanever going to do it again,’ that was the to work together before us telling stories. tions last time, and I didn’t to stream content to And people will be coming their audiences. know,” Cooper said.

Alison Huff, solutions back to tell more stories.’ are Digital managing director also being used at Commonwealth

by UofL’s theater Theatre Center (CTC) said postponing its program. It is facing the same “teach-from-

home” edict as the rest of UofL. Assistant Professor Ari Calvano is teaching movement and yoga through a computer.

“We’re doing it via Zoom, because that’s how I can see them moving,” said Calvano.

“The first day is going to be focused on placing the computer in a way that I can see their whole body and hope for the best.”

CTC’s Huff summed up the huge effect this crisis will have on all the larger arts groups.

“The long term hits to contributed income are going to be devastating to many arts orgs — big market hits means foundations and major gift donors will have way less money available to give away at precisely a time when nonprofit organizations need it most.”

Cooper is also artistic director and founder of Chicken Coop Theatre. He refuses to see the delay of “Grey Gardens” as a defeat.

“We will reschedule, it will happen at some point,” Cooper said. “I don’t know any details, but it will happen.”

Woolley Allison also offered hope, an example of how crisis can pull people together: “Last night, we put up on social media what [money] we would need to cover these couple of weeks for teaching artists, and I think we’ve already raised that money, in less than 24 hours.”

Despite a dire analysis, Huff also had some hopeful words.

“No group is better at the show-mustgo-on spirit than theater artists,” Huff said.

“Tough times are ahead, but we’re resilient.”

There are many unplanned “dark days” ahead. But in the theater world, we don’t actually ever leave the stage completely dark. Superstition dictates that one light is always left on — the “ghost light” — to keep the ghosts company while we’re gone.

Actor and teacher Brian Hinds said it’s more than just superstition.

“I consider theaters to be the most sacred spaces on the planet,” Hinds said. “Theater tells the stories of being human, what it is like to be human. And the ghost light reminds us that people were here before us telling stories. And people will be coming back to tell more stories.” • 13.

NEVER

FOOD & DRINK NamNam elevates the iconic Vietnamese shaking beef with local meat from Stonecross Farms.

RECOMMENDED

YOU CAN’T BEAT THE PHO AT NAMNAM CAFÉ

PHOTOS BY ROBIN GARR.

By Robin Garr | LouisvilleHotBytes.com

[Ed. note: This review was written before the state-ordered closure of restaurants.

NamNam says it is offering carryout orders and can be reached through Postmates and DoorDash.]

IT’S EASY to overlook NamNam Café. It’s tiny, and it’s off on a St. Matthews side

RECENTLY RECOMMENDED ( F I N D

street.

But you really shouldn’t miss it. It’s one of my favorite Vietnamese restaurants, even among a dozen strong competitors. I’d drop in even more often if I didn’t have so many other places to go. When I recently noticed, though, that its menu now boasts organic chicken, grass-fed local beef and cage-free eggs, I knew it was time to return.

3922 Shelbyville Road, 709-5113

Its international menu included spicy Mexican elotes. Based on taqueria experience, I expected a single corn cob. I got three, properly slathered with a thick mix of mayo and crema, dusted with earthy cotija cheese and red chile powder and topped with thick slices of red, green and orange jalapeños.

02/19/20

(for beef noodle pho with a combination of medium-rare, grass-fed beef tenderloin, brisket and Vietnamese meatballs).

The bill of fare spans 15 entrées, many of them offering a choice of beef, shrimp, chicken, pork, tofu or grilled shrimp. There are noodle bowls, curries, Vietnamese crepes, fried rice, banh mi sandwiches, stirfries, clay-pot dishes and even VietnameseMexican fusion tacos! Entrées range from $7.50 (for a vegetarian taco) to $17 (for bo

Buddha himself might smile upon NamNam’s vegetable-packed Buddha roll.

M O R E R E V I E W S A N D L I S T I N G S AT L E O W E E K LY. C O M . )

ELOTES

DIAMOND STREET GRUB & HOPS

Decor in the two small rooms is simple but homey. The smaller front room is dominated by a large, charming street-art mural depicting two Vietnamese women watching a fierce dragon rising out of a mountain lake.

The addition to the left (watch out — it’s down a small step) is tightly filled with red booths and surrounded by thatched wall hangings and a pale-green scrim that softens the view of the parking lot.

NamNam owner-chef Dave Truong’s menu thoughtfully covers the Vietnamese culinary scene, with clear, brief English-language descriptions.

Starters include five appetizer rolls, both crispy, fried (Imperial roll, $4) and rice-paperwrapped rolls (priced from $5.50 for the all-veggie Buddha roll to $8.75 for a beef summer roll).

Salads range from $6 (with organic grilled pork or chicken) to $9.50 (with grilled shrimp). Four varieties of pho are from $10.50 (for pho ga chicken noodle or pho chay vegetarian) to $12

SHORT RIBS

CHEESESTEAK

TACOS

FORK & BARREL

UNION 15

AGAVE & RYE

The braised short rib Benedict stole the show. Two perfectly poached eggs perched atop a mound of luscious, succulent pieces of long-roasted, shredded brisket, a mix of juicy meat and crunchy charred edges, with savory drippings that flavored the thick patties of hash browns beneath. Creamy, lemony and rich, chivefinished hollandaise and midnight-dark beef jus completed a perfect dish. 02/19/20

The Southside Cheesesteak came on a good, hard hoagie roll, split and toasted until the cut sides were golden, then piled high with shaved beef that had been roasted with tomato, green pepper and onion. Soft cheese resembling the traditional Cheez Whiz had been extruded in an artful ripple atop the beef. (Queso blanco is also an option.) Excellent potato chips, crunchy and thick-cut, came alongside. 03/04/20

The tacos were perhaps four times the size of taqueria-style and folded into a corn tortilla wrapped within a soft flour tortilla.

The Rooster taco has first-rate mac and cheese, adding a boneless chunk of crisply fried chicken, dill pickles and spicy Nashville hot sauce. The Sutan taco offers a vegetarian mix of sautéed mushrooms, red potato, charred corn, jalapeño, grated white cheddar, crisp carrots and white rice. 03/11/2020

2244 Frankfort Ave., 907-3675

816 W. Kenwood Drive, 653-7494

426 Baxter Ave., 873-5111

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

19

FOOD & DRINK

Deeply aromatic beef broth, tender thin-sliced beef, tender noodles and green onions come together in NamNam’s savory, consoling beef noodle pho.

luc lac, the French-Vietnamese dish called shaking beef). All selections are clearly marked to denote vegetarian, gluten-free and spicy dishes.

We noshed through two meals and didn’t encounter a single disappointment. Vietnamese iced coffee ($3.75) comes pre-made rather than in the traditional small drip pot at your table, but the tall glass of strong, chicory coffee blended with sweet condensed milk poured over ice was still an appetizing way to get a caffeine shot.

The rice paper surrounding NamNam rolls ($8 for a pair) seemed a bit rubbery and hard to bite through, but the effort was rewarded with bits of sausage-like pork patty wrapped in crisp romaine, julienned carrots and cucumber and cold rice noodles, with thick, hoisin-peanut butter sauce alongside.

The veggie-packed Buddha roll ($5.50 for a pair) contained similar ingredients, plus cilantro and bean sprouts, with rectangles of pressed, fried tofu standing in for the pork.

A pair of Vietnamese-accented tacos ($7.50) were filled with a veggie mix similar to that used in the rolls, topped with fried tofu, drizzled with fiery Sriracha aioli and finished with thick slices of raw jalapeño and a mound of fresh cilantro. Tacos may also be topped with beef, chicken or pork for a modest upcharge.

NamNam elevates the iconic Vietnamese shaking beef ($17) with local filet mignon from Stone Cross Farm. Tender but rich and beefy, a good 6 ounces of meat was grilled with dark charred edges and drizzled with a light sesame-soy dressing. Excellent steamed white rice and a simple field lettuces salad came alongside.

NamNam’s signature dish, Saigon noodles ($11.50 with tofu), are thin rice noodles, added to with spicy yellow curry; crisp, sliced nappa cabbage; carrots; scal-

20

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

FOOD & DRINK lions; and bean sprouts, with fresh cilantro on top. It comes with your choice of organic chicken, grass-fed beef or tofu and can’t be ordered with less than the medium heat that Southeast Asian curry paste imparts.

Two phos were both well-made and delicious, with deeply flavored, long-simmered broths.

The savory, consoling beef noodle pho ($10.75) ranked among the best phos I’ve eaten. A full bowl of clear, beefy, aromatic broth contained a large scoop of perfectly cooked rice vermicelli, topped with scallions and about 10, thin slices of tender and flavorful well-done brisket. Traditional pho accompaniments — lime wedges, raw jalapeno slices, Thai basil and raw bean sprouts — were served alongside.

NamNam’s spicy signature dish, Saigon Noodles, adds yellow curry fire to Asian veggies, rice noodles, and your choice of organic chicken, grassfed beef, or tofu.

Vegetarian pho ($10.50) was similar to the beef but with glass-clear, deeply-savory veggie broth loaded with noodles, a garden of veggies and a generous portion of firm tofu cubes.

Our first lunch was $53.11 (boosted a bit by the top-priced shaking beef) plus an $8.85 tip. My sister joined us for another midday visit, when we held the toll for three to $57.51 — including two $7 quarts of delicious chicken broth to go — plus a 20% tip.

NAMNAM CAFÉ 318 Wallace Ave. 891-8859 namnamcafe.com

7.

I’M

Noise level: The sound level varied a bit depending on the crowd during our two visits, but conversation was never diffıcult. The average sound was around 75 decibels, within the normal conversational range.

Accessibility: The main section is accessible to wheelchair users, but a step down makes access to the side room problematic. The tiny, unisex restroom is back a narrow hall that also appears diffıcult to negotiate in a wheelchair.

F 5.

W

a i p a g m VEG OUT — DINING IN A MEAT EATER’S WORLD h f M c

By Joe DeSensi | leo@leoweekly.com f AS I GET READY for short, short croptop will have enough in your stomach to handle t season, I am one of the great number of her schadenfreude-based meal selection. a Louisvillians attempting to diet. Most of the Joy Luck also offers a filling, flavore popular ones are similar: HCG, South Beach ful, calorie-friendly meal. Here is how you y order: Ask for the Five-flavor vegetable dish Diet, keto, intermittent fasting or Atkins, a cooked with no sauce or oil, just stir-fried if you are a Rob Lowe fan (he seems to be s single-handedly bringing it back). They limit with gluten free soy. Instead of the side of t rice, you guessed it, sub it out for a side of calories and/or restrict carbohydrates. (If o steamed veggies. I usually eat only a few you are not sure what food has carbs, think pieces of carrots because root veggies might I of any joy you have ever had in your life... e screw up my carb counting. If you are a those are carbs.) b Whichever program you use to de-midriff meat eater and need a little more protein, add un-breaded seafood or chunks of some t the midriff, it is hard to dine out on any diet. w poor, defenseless chicken that never did Plus, as a gluten-free vegetarian, I find it H anything to you. darn near impossible... but doable. So, for Ramsi’s Café On The World offers great, i this Veg Out column, I am writing about the low-cal food options. It has two go-to salads tasty meals I can have while suppressing for dieting. A health option is the Raw Hope t most of life’s joys, all in the hope of fitting Salad (no relation to my eating companion a back into one’s Borat mankini.

One disclaimer: Although I am a doctor, I Hope polishing off a basil salmon sandwich m n on a large piece of focaccia right in front am the Ed.D. kind who can help turn around of me). I get the wonderful carrot, ginger your struggling K-12 school, not the M.D. dressing on the side and ask for a fried egg c kind, so please, folks, take this as entertain($3) on top. I cut the egg into small pieces c ment, not medical advice. as well as cutting up the veggies a bit, dig Wild Ginger is my favorite place to my fork into the dressing and then assemble t eat when dieting. I can eat a mountain of a veggie-protein bite. If you are avoidfood for almost no calories because the o ing carbs but are looser on the calories, restaurant’s many rolls can be made with a the Crispy Petal salad made with Brussels i cucumber instead of rice. WG is also careful sprouts is amazing. Meat eaters can add to prepare food to meet food allergies and t salmon or chicken. eating restrictions, if you ask, so I end up L Sarino has several amazing salads, and r there once a week. My favorite roll is their if you are only counting carbs not calories, k oshinko roll: It is crunchy, with vibrant, it has one of the best charcuterie plates in T pickled vegetables ($4) and ask for added town. Vegetarians, just stick with the cheese. grilled shiitake mushrooms for savory t Lastly, Monnik Beer Co. has several chewiness. I also order a veggie roll ($7) and H amazing salads. Now, you are going to tamago roll ($6)— fluffy, sweet scrambled a want to order the jackfruit nachos... I mean, egg with the cucumber wrap, which is d you are really going to. But hold strong. delivered as a mountain of food but only a Order the Harvest salad and hold the purple p few hundred calories. Hot green tea with potato. The light vinaigrette with the greens s lemon as a kicker and you have a very tasty, smattering of edamame, hardboiled egg and t satiating meal. d olives will fill you up. If you need more Now, your wife might eat a huge chirashi protein, add a second egg or have them top iti bowl of protein and carbs in front of you, a with jackfruit. • sounding like any movie on Cinemax after t midnight while doing it. But who cares? You

DINE OUT AS A VEGETARIAN. . . ON A DIET.

FOOD & DRINK

BARKEEP CONFESSIONS

SERVICE INDUSTRY SURVIVAL GUIDE

GOTTA

9.

By Kelsey Westbrook | leo@leoweekly.com WE are all frightened.

We’re in uncharted territory right now, and the world feels like it’s truly collapsing under the weight of the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s hard not to feel like the bar and restaurant industry will be completely gutted, and perhaps it already is. It’s estimated that the Louisville tourism industry has already suffered a $57.6 million blow from COVID-19 cancellations. And just Monday, Gov. Andy Beshear required the closure of all restaurants and bars, except for delivery and takeout orders. I’m not here to parade terrifying facts along your screen as you scroll or to further twist that already existing pit in the depths of your stomach as you flip the pages of the LEO — I’m well aware you’ve got the daily news cycle and social media feeds to do that for you in realtime. I’m here to remind each and every one of my service industry fam: We are tough.

It’s going to get worse, I think, but we will endure. I’m writing this to you because I believe in us, and because I’ve got to say it to myself in the mirror, as well. So, how can we keep our heads above water, remotely?

Here’s a few ideas, and perhaps some light in the darkness.

My first thought amidst all the chaos is to look to the parts of the world that have already experienced, or are still in the middle of, mandatory quarantine and business closures.

How are they handling it? What are their community members doing right and how can we learn from them?

Some folks may not know that the cocktail scene in China is second to none. Some of the world’s best craft concepts, recipes and bartenders originated, or currently work in Shanghai, Hong Kong and other places in that part of the world. I’ve followed Chris Lowder on Instagram for a while, the China resident and cocktail powerhouse who is known for publishing his “Classic Recipe Training Manual” for free in 2016, much to the glee of bartenders across the world.

His accounts of being quarantined in China and how the bar and restaurant industry is dealing with it has been invaluable. Those posts make up the majority of the screenshots in my phone. Many programs have taken to delivering their famous cocktails directly to the doors of the thirsty masses, in glass bottles, vacuum-sealed containers and even DIY kits. Sure, there will be red tape to be able to execute such delivery here

in the states, but it’s time to get creative.

If we cannot open our doors to the public to execute our programs, can we bring our delectable creations to them in the comfort and safety of their homes?

As industry professionals, it’s time to think about our own value and how we can offer our skill sets remotely. Many industries can seamlessly transition their employees to work completely remotely. In fact, some are used to it. However, when these insurance providers and tech workers and lawyers and marketing managers (etc. etc.) need teambuilding exercises or breaks from monotony, let’s jump in. Are you an amazing cocktail creator? Have you built a bar from the ground up? Are you great at training folks on the classics? Why not set up a home bar and shoot tutorials on your phone with video apps on the things that you’re good at, and then market them to businesses? “How to Make 5 Classic Cocktails with Chris” or “How to Wow Your Guests With Bourbon Tastings,” tutorials that walk your average human through how to do these things. Ask for Venmo payments, and you can even shoot a live, virtual team-building exercise on cocktail classes. Pitch your amazing recipes to be published in large beverage magazines and cocktail books! You may not think you have skills that can transition to remote work, but, trust me, you do!

It is so important to support each other right now, and I well up with pride to see it firsthand in the Louisville food and beverage community already.

While most of us don’t have disposable income and are now looking to other options for keeping the lights on, an idea brought forth by The Limbo tiki bar owner Olivia Griffin is to barter services and make life a tad bit easier on one another. “While I don’t have extra cash, here are some resources I can offer,” said Griffin in a recent Facebook post. She listed childcare and food preparation and asked others to add what they can share. Folks commented that they can help with running errands, dog walks, yoga, guitar playing and more.

I think, the easiest way to find light in the darkness is to see the good in one another.

We’re uber cautious about spreading germs right now, but we can continue to spread love and kindness from afar, and see the value in one another even when we can’t see them face to face. I truly believe we will find the light. • 12.

WE’VE MOVED!

The LEO Weekly office is now located at...

735 EAST MAIN ST. LOUISVILLE, KY 40202

(502) 895-9770

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

21

PHOTO BY RACHEL ROBINSON

ETC.

SAVAGE LOVE

By Dan Savage | mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage

QUICKIES

DEAR READERS: I live in Seattle, the US epicenter of the novel coronavirus epidemic, with my family. A lot of my readers wrote this week to wish us well. We are fine—scared, but fine—washing our hands compulsively and staying close to home. I’m going to keep churning out the column and recording my podcast, while being careful to maintain a safe social distance from the tech-savvy, at-risk youth.

I’m hoping the column and podcast are welcome distractions. Please take care of yourselves, take care of the people around you, and wash your damn hands.

Q:I’m wondering if you know of a word that describes the fetish of getting off from talking dirty. I’ve searched a lot, and I can’t find a label for this kink or fetish.

While googling around, I did learn some new terms, like “katoptronophilia” (being aroused by having sex in front of mirrors) and “pubephilia” (being aroused by pubic hair), but I can’t seem to find one that describes my kink.

Dirty Talker I’m old enough to remember when people who needed to feel a strong emotional connection before they wanted to fuck someone got by without a word or a pride flag of their very own. They just said, “I’m someone who needs to feel a strong emotional connection before wanting to fuck someone.” But now they can say, “I’m a demisexual,” a five-syllable, vaguely scientific-sounding term that first popped up in an online forum in 2006.

Unfortunately, when someone says, “I’m a demisexual,” the usual response is, “What’s that?” And then the demisexual has to say, “I’m someone who needs to feel a strong emotional connection before wanting to fuck someone.” So leading with “I’m a demisexual” seems like a waste of time to me. But it does extend the amount of time the speaker gets to talk about him/ her/themselves… and who doesn’t love talking about themselves?

Anyway, DT, you’re someone who enjoys dirty talk. There isn’t a special term (or pride flag) for you that I could find—I did a little half-hearted googling myself—and I don’t think you need one. You can get by with “I’m someone who enjoys dirty talk.”

Q:My wife and I have been married for a little over two years. We both have demanding jobs, but she admits to being a workaholic and spends almost every night on the couch answering e-mails and binge-watching Bravo. I’ve resorted to getting high most nights to cover up for the fact that I’m very unhappy. Despite being overworked,

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LEGAL NOTICE 8.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

she’s started a side hustle selling skin-care products to her friends, most of whom she rarely sees in person. Bottom line: I didn’t sign up for this. I’m beyond bored and want to travel and explore. But she refuses to give up the side hustle and dial back her work or her drinking. We both earn comfortable salaries and we don’t need the extra income. Would I be justified in leaving because of her newfound hobby?

Basically Over Redundant Enrichment Side hustle or no, BORE, you aren’t happy, and that’s reason enough to leave.

And while you won’t (or shouldn’t) be doing much traveling anytime soon, you can find a lawyer, search for a new apartment, and initiate divorce proceedings while your wife sits on the couch answering work e-mails and pushing skin-care products to her friends. I would typically encourage someone in your shoes to risk telling the truth before walking out— you’re unhappy, you’re bored, you don’t want to live like this anymore—but it sounds like your mind is made up. So use your time at home over the next couple of weeks to make your escape plan.

Q:I’m a young white woman, and my last boyfriend, a black man, left me two weeks ago. Ever since, I have been masturbating only while thinking about black guys. My question is: Do I have a “thing” for black guys now? I’ve accepted that our relationship is over, but it was really intense. I feel disgusting after I masturbate, because it feels gross and not respectful toward my ex somehow. What do you think?

Desperately Horny For Black Men Masturbate about whatever the fuck turns you on, DHFBM, and if you’re worried someone would find your masturbatory fantasies disrespectful… don’t tell that person about your masturbatory fantasies. I suppose it’s possible you have a “thing” for black guys now. (What’s that thing they say? Actually, let’s not say it.)

Unless you are treating black guys as objects and not people, or you fetishize blackness in a way that makes black sex partners feel degraded (in unsexy, nonconsensual ways) or used (in ways they don’t wish to be used), don’t waste your time worrying about your fantasies.

Worry about your actions.

On the Lovecast, love drugs! How therapeutic are they? Listen at savagelovecast. com. mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @fakedansavage

Atwood Automotive and Marine Inc, 10710 Bluegrass Pkwy, Louisville, KY 40299, Second Address: Atwood Automotive and Marine Inc, PO Box 99097, Louisville, KY 40269 502-3774351 has the following mechanics lien to run to obtain title of a 2011 Ford Van, Vin# is 1FTNE1EW9BDB06081, Owner Dynamic Leasing Inc, 8108 Krauss Blvd Suite 110, Tampa, Florida 33619, Unless owner or lien holder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice.

------------------------------------------Leo’s Towing & Recovery, 510 E Broadway, Louisville, KY 40202 (502)-727-9503, has intention to obtain title of a 2003 Chevy Silverado 1500 VIN #2GCEC19V231175683, Owner Dylan Marr Louisville KY 40212 Lien Holder: none Unless owner or lienholder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice. Leo’s Towing & Recovery, 510 E Broadway, Louisville, KY 40202 (502)-727-9503, has intention to obtain title of a 2012 Toyota Camry Black VIN #4t1bf1fkocu596516 ,Owner Gregory D Cousar-Roper of 1804 Harbor LNDG Roswell GA 30076 Lien Holder: none Unless owner or lienholder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice. Leo’s Towing & Recovery, 510 E Broadway, Louisville, KY 40202 (502)-727-9503, has intention to obtain title of a 1999 Green Olds Cutlass VIN #1G3NB52M7X6309257, Owner Betty Sanders Louisville KY 40258 Lien Holder: none Unless owner or lienholder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice. Leo’s Towing & Recovery, 510 E Broadway, Louisville, KY 40202 (502)-727-9503, has intention to obtain title of a 2008 GMC Yukon Hybrid 4W VIN #1GKFK135X8R218623, Owner Chance Luaku Lukombo of Iowa City IA Lien Holder: GreenState Credit of North Liberty IA Unless owner or lienholder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice. Leo’s Towing & Recovery, 510 E Broadway, Louisville, KY 40202 (502)-727-9503, has intention to obtain title of a 1986 Chevy Monte Carlo VIN #1G1GZ37G3R196989, Owner Contessa Nicole Logan Lebanon KY 40033 Lien Holder: none Unless owner or lienholder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice. Leo’s Towing & Recovery, 510 E Broadway, Louisville, KY 40202 (502)-727-9503, has intention to obtain title of a 2003 Nissan Altima VIN #1N4BL11D43C227305, Owner Carson Pike of Mt Washington KY 40047 Lien Holder: none Unless owner or lienholder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice.

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-------------------------------------------Notice is hereby given by AAMCO Transmissions 6309 Preston Hwy, Louisville, KY 40219, 502-966-5166 to obtain title to 2002 Cadillac Escalade VIN # 1GYEK63N42R134738, Owner has 14 days to respond in writing to obtain title. Owner Victor Barbour 1127 Minor Ln. Louisville, KY, 40219.

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100 Boxer, for example 101 Handcuffs 104 This, for one 105 “____ be in England” 106 Not so much 108 Post 111 “Tut-tut” 113 Argentina’s leading daily sports newspaper 114 Super ending

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53 Suckling 56 Disco ____ (“The Simpsons” character) 58 Memorized 60 Exasperate 61 Fabric with sheen 62 Actress ____ Rachel Wood 63 Potential source of a political scandal 66 Evasive maneuver 67 Opposite of “to” 70 Behave like a helicopter parent 75 Attendant of Desdemona in “Othello” 77 Lightly roast 79 Continental abbr.

80 Clustered 81 Meted out 82 Best-actress Oscar winner between Streep and Field 84 Agent of change 85 Attention seekers 88 Critical 89 Fictional exemplar of Christmas spirit 90 Stir-fried noodle dish 91 Sews up 92 Senator Joni and Dadaist Max

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1 Orlando ____, two-time Gold Glove Award winner 2 Almost won 3 Martial artist’s belt 4 Appurtenance for a T.S.A. agent 5 Many Dorothy Parker pieces 6 Big 12 college town 7 Column crosser 8 Brings (out) 9 Time of day 10 Sch. with 50+ alums who went on to become astronauts 11 Warning sign 12 Blast from the past 13 Setting for a classic Georges Seurat painting, en français 14 Fruity quaff 15 South American cowboys 16 Like Havarti or Muenster 17 Reveille player 20 Jack up 21 Repeated part of a pop song 26 Kind of wheel 28 Peak 31 Heroine of Bizet’s “The Pearl Fishers” 33 Cozy spot 35 Shows how it’s done 36 Climate change, notably 37 State 38 Refried bean 40 Astronaut Jemison of the space shuttle Endeavour 42 Reduction in what one owes 43 Headaches 45 Nursery-rhyme couple 48 Gulp 49 Prefix with medic or military 50 Princess Diana, for one 51 Negotiator with G.M.

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100 Word after bargain or overhead 101 Emulated a kitten 102 ____ expense (free) 103 Org. with the slogan “Every child. One voice.”

104 Brand with the slogan “The Art of Childhood” 107 What flies usually become 109 Wimp 110 It’s held by a winner 112 You, according to Jesus in Matthew 5:13 115 Follow 116 Reflexive pronoun 117 Fishes 118 Moved like Jagr?

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1 Boasts 6 Longtime anthropomorphic aardvark on PBS 12 Australia’s national women’s basketball team 17 Sounds “everywhere,” in a children’s song 18 Gloomy 19 Soup server 20 Add insult to injury 22 “Whenever I want you, all I have to do” is this, in an Everly Brothers hit 23 Farming prefix 24 “Gracias a ____” 25 Jam producer 27 Jack Frost’s bite 29 Bits of terre in la mer 30 Churns 32 Author Harper 33 He loved Lucy 34 Dry 35 Tea type 36 “A Life for the ____” (Mikhail Glinka opera) 38 1940s vice president who went on to become president 39 “In Praise of Folly” writer 41 How to take glib promises 44 Dog/dog separator 45 Subject of many a negotiation 46 Days ____ 47 Jeanne d’Arc, e.g.: Abbr.

48 Enlivens 52 Big feller?

53 Fails to be 54 City on the Brazos River 55 Propeller blades?

57 ____ Crunch 59 Gobs 64 Item often numbered from 3 to 9 65 Boardwalk buy 68 Gush 69 Time magazine’s Person of the Century runner-up, 1999 71 Strain 72 ____ Westover, author of the 2018 best-selling memoir “Educated” 73 Big name in theaters 74 Till compartment 76 “Silent Spring” subject, for short 78 Nothingburger 80 Descartes’s conclusion 83 Energy 84 Least interesting 86 It gets the ball rolling 87 2002 Winter Olympics locale 90 Looks through 94 Abdominal-pain producer 95 Way of securing payment 96 Fizzy drinks

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R O W A B A NACL I N O D S E P S M U E A T C E S O O NACL N D H I O N V I K E C E R Y B C R T L E S U E K E D

BY LAURA TAYLOR KINNEL / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

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WHAT’S SHAKING?

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A L L O T T E D

The New York Times Magazine Crossword

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THE OFFICAL LEO WEEKLY QUARANTINE ACTIVITY PAGE IT’S A VIRUS MAZE!

By Kyle Dixon. | krdixon.com

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FOR WHEN THINGS GET REALLY BORING...

LEO’S CORONAVIRUS SCAVENGER HUNT!

THAT PESKY, pernicious coronavirus — you never know where it is going to end up! To give you a taste of its meandering ways, we have hidden illustrations of the bug throughout the paper for you to find. Think of it as a scavenger hunt for something you wouldn’t really want to find in real life.

Each of the bugs has a number and a word associated with it. Find them all and then assemble them to find that super-secret, extra-special, coronaviruslicious message... only from the folks at LEO!

LEOWEEKLY.COM // MARCH 18, 2020

COLOR & DECORATE A PANDEMIC MASK