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May 2012 Issue 8

Brunel battle at BUCS

May 2012 - Le Nurb NEWS

Award for Entrepreneurs leader


On phones and table etiquette

08 ARTS & REVIEWS The Voice - is it dope?


More success for Rugby Union

Daisy Adamson Brunel athletes did the university proud by finishing fourth overall at the British Universities and Colleges Sport (BUCS) outdoor championships. Three gold medals and six bronze medals were won by Brunel athletes at the event held at the Olympic Stadium. The men’s 4 x 100m relay team not only finished first but broke a BUCS record by storming to victory in just 40.28 seconds. André Wright, part of the winning relay team alongside Joshua Abladey, Dannish WalkerKhan and Junior Ejehu, also secured an individual bronze for his 100m performance in which he achieved his own personal best.

The wind and rain did not take the spring out of the triple jumpers who took the gold and bronze medals in both the women’s and men’s event. Indoor champion Shakira Whight jumped 12.84 metres to achieve the gold medal while teammate Zara Asante jumped 12.39m to take the bronze. Men’s triple jump winner, Sport Scholar Kola Adedoyin spoke highly of his team mate, Michael Puplampu who came third, 13cm behind Adedoyin’s 15.42m. He said: ‘Michael is a great competitor and I knew that I would need to produce a big jump to get the better of him.’ Former women’s captain Stephanie Gaynor gained her third BUCS gold medal for her


sprint hurdles performance, with a time of 13.73 seconds. Bronze was taken by Linford Christie’s protégé, Nicola Hill who managed to achieve her person best of 14.05 seconds. Brunel came out second equal on the medals table with the men’s team coming fourth overall and the women’s team finishing in third place. The competition, which ran from May 4-7, is the Test Event for the track and field programme at this year’s Olympics. Extraordinary demand for places meant that the number of students entries were limited in most events. Jermaine Olasan, who studies psychology, was another successful student who took

bronze for his long jump of 7.23m. Brunel students enjoyed the experience of being at the Olympic stadium. Third year Physiotherapy student, Beth Young, who took place in the 800 metres, described running at the Olympic stadium as a ‘once in a lifetime experience.’ ‘The atmosphere was buzzing, and I think it made everyone a bit more excited for the Olympics. Brunel performed brilliantly and we should all be really proud of our achievements.’ The competition was watched by 40,000 spectators and is something that Brunel students will remember for a long time.

23 PLUS...


Your new Le Nurb team revealed!


The Student Officers look ahead to next year


The Giant Maze of Awesome makes its last stand...

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May 2012 - Le Nurb WELCOME TO ISSUE 8

This Month...















The new Le Nurb team revealed!

And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain

My friend, I’ll say it clear - I’ll state my case of which I’m certain

I’ve travelled each and every highway

And more, much more than this. I did it...


Editor Amy Blackford Deputy Editor Ben Moxey Chief Designer Rob Hunt Chief Sub-Editor Katrina Muhly Media Chair Tom Scott NEWS News Editor Bess Browning Sub Editor Adam Martley


I’ve lived a life that’s full



Features Editor Emma Butcher Sub Editor Sharna Lee Heir Staff Writers Hayley Baldwin Devina Sanghani Alec Beeson Rhys Morgan-Jones Charlotte Bale

It’s our last issue, so we aren’t on the lookout for any more submissions. But if you fancy writing something over the summer, feel free to send it our way for potential inclusion in next year’s first issue, published in September. YOUR ARTICLE

- Your article should be saved as a Word document (.doc or .docx). - Its filename should contain your name, student number, and a suggested headline. - We don’t accept PDF, Works (.wps), OpenOffice (.odt), Pages (.pages) or other formats. - Publisher files (.pub) are particularly horrific, beastly things. Please don’t send any, ever, or Rob will cry. - It may sound obvious, but please run a spellcheck before you submit your article!

ARTS & REVIEWS Arts & Reviews Editor Nick Birss Sub Editor Jon Partridge Designer Enya Williams Staff Writers Emma I’Anson Subat Bashir Chrissie Gomez Ricky Compton Lewis Sluman Matt Smith Daisy Adamson


- For a Union News or Features article, don’t forget your headshot for use in the byline. - If you like, you can suggest specific images for your article. They’ll need to be separate .jpg or .png files. - Don’t embed your images into the article document - this compresses them too much for use on the page. - Any image filenames and image credits (who the photographer is) should be listed at the end of your article. - Images you submit must not be copyrighted by another individual or organisation. - Please don’t just nick pictures off Google Image Search; we can’t use them 99% of the time! YOUR CONTACTS

Enquiries, advertising & complaints Design queries and feedback News articles In-depth articles on a given topic Reviews and arts articles Everything sport-related

Bess - Heather - via (‘Design Feedback’ in the subject line) Daisy - Aaron - Ollie - Paul -


More from Le Nurb

Sport Editor & Designer Ollie de Kretser Sub Editor Paul Round PHOTOGRAPHY



We’ve moved on Facebook, and are now sharing a page with Radio Brunel. Search ‘UBS Student Media’ for all the latest updates. We’re also on Twitter: @ubsstudentmedia.


This major update brings the most-requested feature - student media integration - to the UBS apps! See what else is new and download for free at

Lead Photographer Adil Khan Deshmukh


For more Le Nurb information, including a back issue archive and full submission guidelines, take a look at our updated minisite -

Advertising Le Nurb is distributed eight times a year, across campus, to a network of 15,000 students. We offer great rates to advertisers, plus discounts for on-campus clubs, societies and organisations. Find out more at or via the Editor. To book an advertising slot for September, call Bonnie Crate on 01895 267215. All articles and pictures © their respective authors unless otherwise indicated. Views expressed are those of the writers and do not reflect the official position of UBS or Brunel University. All comments and complaints about content in Le Nurb should be addressed to the Editor in the first instance: Complaints will only be entertained where it can be proven that an article or graphic is: factually inaccurate; breaches the Press Complaints Commission’s Editors’ Code of Practice; breaches the National Union of Journalists’ Code of Conduct; breaks the law; or encourages readers to break the law. No complaint that fails to satisfy at least one of these criteria will be upheld. Published by: Union of Brunel Students, Kingston Lane, Uxbridge, UB8 3PH. Printed by: Harmsworth Printing Derby, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2BH.

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May 2012 - Le Nurb ...AND BEYOND

hello/goodbye Le Nurb’s Class of 2012/13 revealed! Foreword

Amy Blackford Editor 2011/12 Wow! What a year this has been. As a journalism student, Le Nurb has not only been a platform for me to have had a very handson approach to editorial work but it has fuelled my thirst for journalism and I have embraced every opportunity that has come our way. It is with great sadness that I write this as it will be my last editorial. Next year I am undertaking a new, exciting adventure by studying for a PGCE in Primary Education so will be reducing my role to Deputy Editor. However, before I go I have a few memories and thankyous to share with you. It has been an absolute pleasure to work with so many people and to have pushed Le Nurb into the university spotlight. Stepping into the role as editor, I was always keen to emphasise that this was going to be a team project and not a ‘dictatorship,’ so to speak. I am very proud of every single member of my team that has been involved

with production this year and can gladly, and honestly, say that without them Le Nurb wouldn’t be what it is today – a great student publication. Hopefully we will win some awards this year and get the recognition that Le Nurb truly deserves. When people ask me what my favourite issue was from this year, I always say the One World Week issue. It was our biggest issue yet! And to have been a part of that is something that definitely I and the rest of the team can be proud of. To create Le Nurb’s biggest ever issue was definitely a big challenge but it proved that with a bit of work a 40-page issue is possible! Something that we weren’t as confident about at the beginning of the year. There are a couple of people that I would like to thank for all their help this year. Firstly, Chief Designer Rob. Rob has been as involved as I have with Le Nurb this year. He has done a fantastic job in helping to create my vision of how the paper should be whilst coming up with innovative ideas to expand on, and improve,

Our new Editor Bess Browning Editor 2012/13 Yo, yo! I’m Bess. Yes, Bess, not short for anything, just Bess, and I will be the Editor of Le Nurb next year. Stepping into some rather big shoes, I would like to congratulate Amy Blackford for her success over the last year at Le Nurb, where she has transformed the paper into quite a masterpiece. I will be stepping in to put the final touches in place. Particularly in the last couple of weeks, Amy has become my mentor and more importantly, my friend - I couldn’t be happier to have her as Deputy Editor next year, along with the legend Mr Ben Moxey. And, yes, he will still be gracing us with his awesome horoscopes! Just like Amy, I’m a journalism student, studying my way to a career as a travel writer. So in five years’ time, I’m hoping I’ll be on the other side of the globe… writing about it. But at present, to be in the position to run Brunel’s only student paper, I am extremely grateful and couldn’t be more excited about what this year will bring. For the past year, I have been News Editor of Le Nurb and have worked with a fantastic group of enthusiastic journalists and designers to create an improved student paper. It has given me the knowledge, confidence and inspiration to believe I can make the paper even greater next year. As a student body, Brunel is a vibrant, multi-cultural community, and I want our student paper to reflect that. It’s going to be ten times more colourful and a lot more fun. I’d also like to put emphasis on the ‘our’ in ‘our paper.’ Le Nurb survives and thrives off student input and next year, I want the paper to be all about YOU and

your fresh new ideas and points of view. What do you love about Le Nurb? What do you hate?! What do you want to hear, know, debate about? I want to know what YOU want. I believe that for Le Nurb to be a readable, popular publication, we need to listen to the voice of the students. To start the ball rolling, in the next couple of weeks a survey will be appearing on the website. It’ll

certain sections. The creator of the popular Giant Maze of Awesome, Rob has worked tirelessly with me into the early hours of the morning compiling the paper before sending it to the printers. Thank you Rob for all your hard work - I really couldn’t have done this all without you! And remember to bring the fullfat lemonade this time! Another key thank you I have to give is to Chief Sub-Editor Kat Muhly. Kat has done an unbelievable job this year in helping sub every single article that has gone into the paper this year. Without Kat, and the sub team, production weeks wouldn’t have been able to run as smoothly as they have and as a result it is with sad news that Le Nurb has to say goodbye to such a legend. After graduation this year Kat is going on to study for a Masters in English at Durham University and I wish her good luck. To Media Chair Tom Scott, a massive thank-you for giving me the freedom to solely manage the team, and the paper. You have allowed me to pick and choose

all the things that I wanted to change and tweak. You have been a massive support and could always rely on you for help when it was needed. Thank you for everything you have done throughout the year. I would, lastly, like to thank all the people that have contributed to Le Nurb this year. We have had some really amazing content. It is always nice when you are approached by people complimenting the high standard of content that has been published in each issue. Without your participation Le Nurb would be virtually non-existent. So thank you to you all. We have had over 69 clubs and societies and 160 different students contribute this year, which is absolutely fantastic and up from last year. Finally, I would just like to wish my ‘successor,’ Bess, all the luck in the world. Not only is she an enthusiastic, keen individual, she is a fantastic journalist and person. Bess has some really great ideas and I am very excited to be part of her team next year.

The new team in full... be your first chance to get involved and let us know what changes you want to make to Le Nurb. Throughout my two years at Brunel I have met some wonderful people and I can’t wait to befriend more of you next year. Good luck in your forthcoming exams, have a fantastic summer and I look forward to meeting you next year and creating a student paper to be proud of.


Bess Browning

Deputy Editors

Amy Blackford Ben Moxey

Chief Sub-Editor

Amanda Hill

Lead Designer

Heather Park

NEWS News Editor News Sub-Editor

Daisy Adamson Vanessa Gibbs

FEATURES Features Editor

Aaron Brown

Features Sub-Editor

Sophie Jones

ARTS & REVIEWS Arts & Reviews Editor Arts & Reviews Sub-Editor

Ollie de Kretser Lily Woods

SPORT Sport Editor Sport Sub-Editor

Paul Round Xenia Rimmer

DESIGN Designers

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Jo Barnard Alex Millington Winnie Tang Vicki Thompson Enya Williams


May 2012 - Le Nurb NEWS

VC assures Brunel is ‘well-placed’ in ‘parlous’ HE environment George Bowden Vice-Chancellor and Principal of Brunel, Professor Chris Jenks, has delivered a frank and honest critique of the coalition Government’s handling of Higher Education. He described its current policies as presenting “a parlous state” in which universities “don’t know what to do next.” In a talk to staff about Brunel’s strategic plan and Higher Education Strategy, he highlighted the coalition’s removal of Higher Education block grants – previously a guaranteed source of income for universities – as the reason why a majority of institutions chose to charge £9,000 fees. The Government came under criticism when a majority of universities chose to charge new students £9,000, despite claiming only a few would do so. Professor Jenks said that Brunel chose to charge the maximum amount because “this is how much it costs to educate within Higher Education.” While the outgoing ViceChancellor did not criticise the

introduction of higher fees, he did speak out against the Government’s “abandonment of Higher Education as a concern.” As a result, he believes the system of Higher Education in Britain is in a state of self-determination in which institutions must decide for themselves which direction they should take. Jenks feels Brunel has faced up to these realities and is mindful of the cut in central government support and the need for Brunel to ‘compete’ for students in the future. His vision for the university, which is currently writing a fiveyear Strategic Plan, is one which moves forward positively. He said: “The next four years are difficult ones for universities. In four years time we will be fully funded by individual student’s fees.” “Brunel has adopted the spirit of self-determinacy. Brunel is making plans for itself and is not responding to what the government may or may not have in mind this week, or sometime, or never. The manifestation of [these

plans] is the huge new Gateway Building at the entrance of the Brunel campus”. For the 2013/14 academic year, Jenks said that the University is planning on adopting significantly higher A-Level entry tariffs and is due to consult with the Senate, the University’s decision-making body. Tariffs would be “similar to Queen Mary’s,” whose average tariff is AAB, against Brunel’s BBB. Jenks views the developments and progress made at Brunel as justification for increasing requirements of perspective students at a time when some in the Higher Education sector are advocating an ‘accept anyone’ philosophy. Jenks conceded this would result in fewer student applications, but argued that they would be of higher quality. Jenks’ talk made clear that he felt a focus on injection of capital projects into the campus, increases to entry tariffs and an emphasis on quality research will help make Brunel “a top of the market university” and “a university of choice.”

Billy Rowlinson

Staying hydrated improves Did you vote? exam performance Daisy Adamson New research has shown that exam performance can be improved by drinking water. The study, conducted at the University of East London and the University of Westminster, proved that students who drank water in exams did up to 10% better than those who did not. 447 psychology students participated in the experiment which measured undergraduates’ exam performance. The studied showed that only 25% of those students entered

the exam hall with a bottle of water. It was also found that students in their first year of study are less likely to bring a drink into the exam than those in higher years. The cause of the findings is unknown, though one theory suggests that when the brain cells are hydrated, information can flow more freely through them. It also is thought to help reduce anxiety which can be a cause of poor performance. Head of the research at the University of East London, Dr

Chris Pawson, said: “Future research is needed to tease apart these explanations, but whatever the explanation it is clear that students should endeavour to stay hydrated with water during exams.” There has been no proof that students actually drank the water during the exams, though having the water alone showed improved performance. Other research has shown that different methods such as exercise and healthy eating contribute to better exam performance.

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tompagenet Bess Browning Boris Johnson has been re-elected as the Mayor of London, allowing him to reclaim the title for a second term after a sensational battle on behalf of the Conservatives. Boris was narrowly reappointed when he took 51.5% of the votes, compared to Labour candidate Ken Livingstone’s 48.5%. The win came as a disappointment to many and a surprise to some, as the Conservatives had received a thrashing in local elections, with voters blaming the Tories for a series of unsuccessful new policies. So, did you tick a box on a ballot paper on May 3, or did you sack it off as a waste of time? Le Nurb spoke to a few Brunelians about their voting experience. Teri Evans, a politically-neutral third year Business management student, said: “To be honest, I think him and Ken are just as bad as one another. But at least Boris has a sense of humour – though it does mean travel costs will not be decreasing, which is crap – it’s so expensive!”

Paul Lashmar, a Journalism lecturer at Brunel said: “I didn’t think any of candidates were inspiring. The Mayoral elections are just another example of X Factor culture where the ability to entertain is more important than ability to do the job. It will have to turn very ugly in the next year as Boris will use his mayorship as a platform launch his bid for Tory Party leadership and he will have to appeal to the hard right in his party. He will strip out the public sector in London.” Alexandria Walters, a Biomedical Sciences student and Labour supporter, said: “I voted for Labour. What made me sad about the voting wasn’t that Boris was re-elected, but that so many people didn’t even bother to vote. So many people weren’t interested because they didn’t think their voice would make a difference.” Charlie O’Toole is a first year student at Brunel and said: “I have literally no idea about Boris’s policies. I didn’t even realise there were elections until the day of them.”

May 2012 - Le Nurb NEWS

u-Leave... Amy Blackford The much-loved u-Link is to be replaced across the University with Blackboard Learn by September. The new online learning environment will be rolled out across all schools and departments. The School of Information Systems, Computing and Mathematics has been using Blackboard Learn since September 2011. Project Manager Alex Osmond said: “u-Link was introduced in 2005 and has served us well, but we are eager to bring ourselves ahead of the curve when it comes to online learning, so have decided to upgrade to Blackboard Learn 9.1, which is the market leading Virtual Learning Environment across the world.” He added: “It is an evolving platform, with a wide user group, lots of updates


Penguin thieves Three men from Wales will appear in court in Australia after getting drunk and stealing a penguin from Sea World. Not only did they break in, but they also took the opportunity to swim with the dolphins. Looks like someone was watching The Hangover a bit too closely.


You can’t see it, but the screen is, in fact, displaying u-Link.

Entrepreneurs leader wins President award Amy Blackford Brunel Entrepreneurs’ President Andy Baker has won the National Association of College and University Entrepreneurs’ (NACUE) President of the Year award. The award was presented to the level 2 Economics and Management student at the NACUE’s National Leaders Training Conference. NACUE represents enterprise societies on a national level. The award is a testament to the work that Andy has done for Brunel Entrepreneurs this year. Having become an ESSA (Enterprising Student Society Accreditation) this year, in collaboration with the Royal Bank of Scotland, the society has held just over 30 events throughout the year, with over 1500

Politics graduate elected councillor

Amy Blackford Emma Toal, 22, graduated from Brunel last year, achieving a 2:1 in Politics. Upon her victory, Emma said: “I am so happy and proud to have been elected a Councillor for my local ward,

especially where Labour has just taken control. As a young person it is great to be given the opportunity and I hope to be able to empower other young people in my town. It is a very exciting time to be involved locally and a great opportunity to make a positive impact on local residents’ lives.” She added: “It was very humbling to be elected by my constituents and now it is my job not to let them down. I want to help restore trust in politicians. I can’t wait to be able to make a positive difference to my community. Harlow’s Labour Party triumphed in the local elections, winning five seats. The council will now be comprised of 20 Labour members and 13 Conservative members, down from 17.

News In Brief Car enthusiast A man from San Francisco is suing BMW after he claimed that a ride on one of their bikes caused him to have a 20-month-long erection. No one is sure how the unusual injury occurred, but it is said that he is finding it “hard” to deal with.

and features, and we’re also involving ourselves in all the chances we can to affect product development so it suits the needs of our students and staff.” The new system allows Brunel’s staff and students to work and collaborate on ideas online. Staff will receive full training before it goes live in September, with students receiving inductions when they return.

For more information on Blackboard Learn, visit, or their Twitter feed at Any questions, comments or feedback can be emailed to Alex at


people attending. Andy was part of the ViceChancellor’s employability summit early in the year and, under his leadership, the society has become the largest paid society on campus, with approximately 220 members. Upon receiving the award, he said: “I feel very humbled to have won such a prestigious award. With so many young entrepreneurs across the UK, it has not really sunk in yet that I have won it.” He added: “It has been amazing to run the society this year and I have taken so much away from it. I have been extremely lucky though having a fantastic team behind me - without them, the successes we have had may not have happened.”

Brunel’s Olympic contribution recognised Daisy Adamson Brunel received recognition for its work for the Olympic and Paralympic games by winning two Podium Awards for contribution of UK universities to London 2012. Receiving bronze in two of the nine categories, the awards were for ‘Innovative International Collaboration’ and ‘Exceptional Research Contribution.’ The work the university did in arranging pre-games training facilities for the Korean Olympic and Canadian Paralympic teams secured the Innovative International Collaboration award. The Korean team will arrive in mid-July and will use the facilities until August 12 when the games end. Facilities will be used in May by the Canadian Paralympic athletes as a simulation camp Please recycle.

and again in August for final preparations for the games. The award for Exceptional Research recognised the Brunel team’s commitment to Olympicrelated research. The main theme of the work, as explained by Professor Celia Brackenridge OBE is “inspiring a learning legacy” and it is the first time an Olympic publication programme has been established. They organised the 2012 International Convention on Science, Education and Medicine in Sport (ICSEMIS), which was a collaboration with publishers Taylor and Francis. The awards are part of the London 2012 themed Universities Week, which aims to raise awareness about the benefits of higher education to society and the economic sector.

Lucky lottery lady A woman from Virginia won $1 million after matching five out of six numbers on her lottery ticket. However, she later realised that she had bought another ticket with the exact same numbers, meaning that she won the same prize again.

The Boris tattoo A man from Lancashire has taken the unusual step of getting the face of the newly re-elected Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, on his leg. 19-year-old Lewis Jolly got the tattoo, saying that he thought Boris was ‘such a good bloke.’ In return, Boris said, ‘I’m honoured – it’s a sight for sore thighs.’

A true Transformer Design students from China have created a life size statue of Optimus Prime outside their campus. The statue, which is made out of spare car parts, also has the Transformer clutching a real car in its hand.

Jenson Bottom A former motocross world champion has broken the world record for speed on a motorized toilet. Jolene Van Vugt managed to get the contraption up to 46mph and was said to be flushed with pride over her achievement.

Hash-point Vending machines that dispense cannabis have popped up all over the US, allowing people access to the drug 24-hours a day. The system is developed for people with medical prescriptions to get small quantities of the drug. Hopefully, they are located near a crisp vending machine for the after effects.


May 2012 - Le Nurb UNION NEWS

The Student Officers look ahead... Here are some of my ideas again.

The very keen one. Gary O’Brien Elections 2012 were definitely a lot more stressful and a lot more tiring than last year. Whether that’s me getting old, or the perceived added pressure of being an incumbent, I’m not quite sure. From a neutral UBS point of view, it was fantastic to see all positions contested by over 40 students and the four officer positions contested by an amazing 22 candidates. Engagement is a buzzword year on year in this Union, but it is a real testament to staff and students alike to get this many people - and their campaign teams - involved in the UBS spring elections. From a selfish point of view, I have to thank Team GOB (my campaign team) who worked tirelessly day in, day out for all 12 days to see my success. To see so many first years especially show passion and knowledge I could only have dreamt of having was fantastic and bodes well for the future of our Union in the years to come. These guys sealed my reelection so I thank them dearly! Of course, my election means that I have a manifesto to uphold. Peter Smallwood It is a great honour to have been elected Vice President of the Union of Brunel Students. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank the many hundreds of students who put their faith in me and allowed me this fantastic opportunity. In my manifesto and throughout my campaign, I engaged with literally thousands of students. My team and I got over 750 signatures for my Podcast petition; we spoke in almost 100 lectures, 20 club and society AGMs and engaged with countless numbers of students throughout the 10 allotted days of campaigning. I promised to bring back common sense to education at Brunel and that is exactly what I plan to do. We together need to make our education at Brunel better. To achieve that, it needs to be fit for purpose. I will campaign tirelessly to get our lectures podcasted and to have personal timetables introduced for all. I will work with the Library to bring down the noise levels, increase the numbers of Printers and Computer and to make sure out Library is full of the richest resources students need to learn. I will engage with Schools, fellow Vice Presidents and Chairs to create Societies for every subject and awareness weeks for every School. I will work tirelessly to make sure all our lectures are clear, consistent and engaging through my proposed “Rate the Lecture” campaign. This will deliver direct feedback on every lecture at Brunel. I plan to build new relationship with Postgraduate students giving them a bigger say in our Union by creating a Postgraduate Working

NEXT YEAR’S VISION FOR YOU VP Support Clinic Arranging for weekly slots in the meeting room for students to drop in with weekly topical issues or random questions. To take away the strain in Student Activities and to increase transparency in the department. This should address issues as a whole for all clubs/ societies and will hopefully be an idea taken up by other officers/ chairs for maximum support. Friends of Brunel Connecting with local universities to share experiences with clubs/ socs/RAG that match our own. Enhancing the student experience and social network through joining forces and building great relationships! This can lead to bringing lots of universities to Brunel as a mini societies conference just like Aston University, who recently had 40 universities come to their university for a great weekend.

Continuing society enhancement I will put more time in to further society presence and give more internal/external opportunities. I also want to make greater use of our geographical/cultural societies to reach out to our international students and increase their engagement with us. Greater focus on committee support through the year Club/soc development is based on communications year on year. I want to create focus weeks (through the VP clinic) to take committee members on training for important points of the year including recruitment, membership push, events, elections, handover and constitutions. Our clubs and

societies are student run, not sabbatical run; I want to give you the best training and facilitation for you to lead your clubs/socs and empower your members! Focusing on new RAG infrastructure RAG has rapidly expanded this year. It’s time to focus on all the positives and really excel on them next year with more opportunities for success and fun in the long term with a greater focus on profitable, respectable fundraising.

Continued closer engagement with the University This year we have strengthened links with the university in sport and school engagement. I am the person to continue work on delivering the Sports Strategy, Active Brunel, Brunel Volunteers and the Schools to provide greater opportunity/support for clubs and societies. I have also been a key Union representative in the sports centre build changes. I have already implemented my opinions and am best suited to get the best developments and activity space for YOU. Bring back Monday nights!

Group. I will continue to work with timetabling to keep Wednesday afternoons free from lectures. I will champion Course Reps; I plan to hold Brunel’s very first Course Rep conference, offering quality training and advice. I will uphold the Unions strong relationship with the University, but pledge to be a strong voice for students and always put your interests first. I will also continue the hard work of our current Vice President Academic Representation and the work he has done in relation to Student Led Teaching Awards and many other successful projects. I look forward to working closely with him in what will be an exciting, smooth and fulfilling handover. Hard work, common sense and ambition worked for Isambard Kingdom Brunel and it can work for us. My office doors will always been open to anyone who needs my help. I wanted this year to be a year that sees our Union united to deliver the very best for every single student. Once again, a massive thank you to everyone who supported me. This is truly the greatest honour I have ever had. Can I end by wishing you all the very best with your end of year exams, and for those leaving Brunel, I wish you a bright and successful future. I can’t wait to get started and begin the important work to build a bigger, better and stronger Brunel.

Life-loving, chicken-eating, all-round good guy.

2 0 1 2 / 1 3 Please recycle.

James Ward The idea that I will be the Vice President Community Welfare for 2012/13 has not sunk in yet. I do not think that it will until I sit in the office and I am busy with meetings and campaigns! To win an election against so many other candidates is a feeling of euphoria. Firstly, I would like to express my commiserations for my competitors, all of whom ran good campaigns and worked extremely hard. I would like to think that throughout the campaign period, I built a rapport and understanding with many of them, which made the campaign enjoyable. My competitors also provided me with further insight of issues that will need addressing. Also, I would like to thank everyone who supported and encouraged me and kept my spirits up throughout. I would like to pass on my congratulations to the other elected officers of 2012/13 and state that I will look forward to working with them. I am really looking forward to working and leading a group of chairs, the Volunteer Chair, Marcus Bernasconi, the Equality and Diversity Chair, Miriam Bandera, and the Environmental Strategy Chair, Viktorija Gzibovska. These chairs will certainly add value to the student’s union and I am enthusiastic about directing them and supporting them in the same manner in which I have been supported as a chair. The best thing about experience is that it can be

Let’s bring back Monday nights how they were in “my day”. Sports/society nights where everyone gets supporting each other - we bring the community vibe back to Brunel and use our great new Ents team to give you a great night with great profits to you to do more! More power in Student Assembly Student Assembly is the chance for students to question what all UBS officers/chairs do. I feel that more should go through student assembly to increase transparency between UBS and its membership. It also ensures that all decisions are accepted by the membership and are likely to have a more positive effect on Brunel. Stronger alumni connections Our time at Brunel is a massive step in our lives. I want to ensure that we strengthen our relationship with our leavers. More invitations back to University to get involved. More “old boys” style matches and varsity as well as returners dinners etc. Let’s take advantage of something America does right - top care for their students after graduation! This year has been fantastic and record breaking in my remit on so many levels!

passed on, and my experience as a chair will be essential in succeeding in this role and supporting the chairs. I am also excited by the prospect of working with a wonderful group of staff in the union. I am looking forward to the upcoming year because it is important to ensure that I fulfil my manifesto. I want to be able to make a difference to the lives of students and this is what I will spend the majority of my year doing. As of yet, I am still to decide which campaigns I am going to run and what policy I would like to initiate to improve things here at Brunel. One of my main ideas is to increase employability via volunteering, and in doing so, the volunteer chair elect, Marcus Bernasconi, will be central to this. Developing policies with the Equality and Diversity Chair and the Environmental Strategy Chair will be something that is also central to my plans. I also want to ensure that adequate counselling support is given to students. University is a stressful time for most students, and we as a community can do more to de-stigmatise counselling and ensure that students are given the correct support. Additionally, I will seek to provide life skills for students. This plan needs some tweaking in order to ensure a complete direction, but I know the core tenants of the idea. Cooking classes, self-defence classes and money management classes are essential to ensuring that students have tangible life skills before they leave university. Thanks for electing me and I look forward to fulfilling my role as VP Community Welfare.

May 2012 - Le Nurb FEATURES

Happy Hours!


has diverse décor to both thrill leave feeling very happy indeed! English and Creative you and freak you out. Their The average price for a cocktail Writing student who food and drink prices are halved is £8, so it works out very cheap. loves to shop ‘til sunset between 5pm and 9pm every Along with their happy hours, and party ‘til sunrise! day, but happy hour is extended they have deals on Mojitos on on Thursdays to 10pm. Mondays, Martini Tuesdays, Hayley Baldwin Exams are over, it’s the end of The Dirty Martini has just and 2-4-1 throughout Sunday the year, and student loans are opened a second bar after the nights! They really do spoil you in the bank. Time to celebrate! success of its first one in Covent (and your liver, but it’s totally But where to go? Bored of Tiger Garden. This is just as well worth it)! Tiger and Zoo Bar? The choices because their Covent Garden bar If you feel like winding are endless, so here are a few is undergoing a refurbishment down rather than putting your bars and clubs that have some until June, so do not fear martini body through further strain, I great promotions. lovers, your glass will not be recommend visiting Ki Spa for Most London clubs will empty empty as you can venture to some pampering. They have your wallet quicker than a Hanover Square. Martinis are recently moved their spa from shopping spree in Selfridges, half price between 5pm and Heathrow to Hayes, and are however, The Sports Café in 10pm Monday to Thursday, now only 25 minutes away if you Haymarket is an exception. Every 5pm until 8pm on Friday and take the U4 bus from Uxbridge Tuesday is a student night, with a Saturday, and all of Sunday. The station. Let your muscles melt in £5 entry charge; and while £1.75 stylish décor and sophisticated hot stone massage, or have the would usually get you a shot of atmosphere starts your night tensions in your temples rubbed lemonade in most clubs, this will with a classy feel, until you away through an Indian head get you a vodka and lemonade. move onto the clubs, shots massage, or purifying facial. Despite the casual name, The and stumbles. You also have access to the wet Sports Café has a dance floor, If you love cocktails more than facilities, which include a heated plays great music, and most martinis, Fifty-Five is the bar for pool, Jacuzzi and sauna. Their people dress as if they were you. Nestled off Camden high prices are student friendly, as heading to Zoo or Tiger Tiger. street, they shake, stir and mix they have promotions running The Piccadilly Institute is a up over 200 concoctions to cater throughout the week. club in, well, Piccadilly. It is for all tastes and moods. Every made up of six crazy bars: Noir, night from 6pm-8pm is happy FIND OUT MORE Shrink, Clinic, Fruitbox, Chamber hour, and cocktails are 2-4-1, and Decadia. Each room serves but on Fridays the party kicks off 5919_SS_Uxb 8/5/12 11:39 Page 1 different foodad_BAM_175x264mm_AW:5919_SS_BAM_175x264mm_v2_AW_8/5/12 and drink, and an hour earlier – trust me, you’ll

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May 2012 - Le Nurb FEATURES

Celebrity and being on TV: English and Creative Writing student who loves to shop ‘til sunset and party ‘til sunrise! Hayley Baldwin Singers and actors enter into the public eye with their talent. We all become fans, like their pages on Facebook, and await news of their next song/film. Occasionally, it will take an artist a while to produce anything interesting, and the public will get bored of them. So how do celebs prevent this from happening? They go all-out crazy, and make sure their face is in every redtop newspaper. There’s no new work to talk about, so they get us all talking about their personal lives. That’s how it begins. But recently, it seems that the personal lives of celebrities are more interesting that what they actually do. So much so, that shows like Made in Chelsea and Jersey Shore skip out the talent altogether. More and more people are gaining their fifteen minutes of fame without doing a single thing to earn it. It started with rocky relationships, and magazines focusing on who weighed what. Then, on July 18, 2000, Channel 4 took it to a whole new level. We saw a group of strangers bundled

into a house, and we all waited to see what happened. At first it was hilarious. However, after a while, Big Brother lost its appeal, and we all stopped watching. Over ten years later, reality TV is rearing its attention grabbing head with more gusto than ever before. What is it about the personal lives of others that enthral us all so much? I asked some university students, and got some interesting answers. One third year student told me that people “see something in their lives that they would aspire to themselves, or fantasise about.” This answer was generally the norm, with many people attributing the sudden rise of reality TV to “escapism.” This hints at an underlying dissatisfaction with the way life is going. The world is a pretty bad place for us all right now. No one has much money, it’s going to cost over £30k for students to get through university, and no one can get a job. So to cheer ourselves up, we take a glimpse of how good life could be, were we born in Essex. How good it could be, or how low we could sink. One first year told me that he only watched shows like Jersey Shore to “laugh at the people on it,” giving me just a shred of hope that we haven’t all

the subtle difference

lost our minds. As for becoming obsessed with celebs behind closed doors, he thinks that “we want to see if they’re so glamorous away from the spotlight.” It’s natural to be curious. They look so perfect on the covers of magazines; we want to see if that’s how they live their lives. So we forget that we aren’t seeing reality, we are seeing a carefully scripted scene, meant to be presented and perceived as reality. We aspire to have lives like the ones we see on the television, without taking into account that those lives don’t exist. I know I should just change the channel, but these shows are everywhere. Even if I turn the TV off altogether, I still have to listen to the people around me talk like Joey Essex is their newest best friend. It’s a sad day for artists everywhere when the shenanigans of Snooki and JWOWW can make you a “celebrity.” Celebrity used to mean you were someone of talent, and had contributed in some way to the world around you. If TV and magazines carry on like they are, God knows that that word could eventually mean. One thing is for certain: if any more of these shows come out, I’m taking a hammer to the telly screen.

Fork, Fork... (not TalkTalk) Xenia Rimmer We’ve all been there; you’re sitting at the table, waiting for your food and you suddenly realise that neither of you has uttered a word for at least five minutes (although, if you want a more precise time, there’s probably an app for that). He’s glued to the Sky Sports website, checking the scores and you’re scrolling through Twitter; no doubt glancing at pictures of your friend who is out for cocktails. She’s socialising too, but she’s still had time to Instagram her Mojito and probably check-in on Facebook, right? It’s nobody’s fault, exactly, but we are a generation of technoaddicts. Our little, rectangular portals to the outside world are beginning to put our real-life relationships to the test. It’s clear that good old fashioned social skills are falling by the wayside. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself: when was the last time you made a phone call? Can’t remember? I thought not. I also doubt that you have ever reached your contract’s limit on minutes, but you’d be lost without your unlimited SMS and 3G allowance. We’re all guilty of it; sending an e-mail or a text is far quicker and often less awkward than dialling a number. In the cinema, the beams of light from iPhone screens are hard to ignore. When you’re watching television, the programme will never have your Please recycle.

full attention (you’re probably checking Twitter so see what everyone else thinks about it). At the pub quiz, there’s no shortage of poorly concealed Googling. At the dinner table, it isn’t that you’re uninterested in the person (or people) sitting opposite you, it’s just that checking your mobile phone has become a natural reflex to, well... everything. It does mean, however, that we are at increased risk of losing the art of conversation (that’s actual conversation, not the one you’re having via Facebook chat). Step forward, then, the latest craze of Phone Stacking, which is sweeping the nation’s eateries. The concept, thought up by blogger Brian Perez, challenges you to survive an entire meal without your beeping armextension. Each participant places their mobile face-down in a pile in the centre of the table and nobody is allowed to touch them until the end of the meal. The first unfortunate diner unable to resist temptation foots the bill for the whole group. Don’t get me wrong; I’m, no technophobe (my tweets, statuses, Tumblr and blog posts are as prolific as the next girl), but I think that this revolutionary game could be the saving grace of social skills, one click at a time. Go on, next time you hit Loco’s, try it; there’s stacks of reasons why you should be Phone Stacking!

May 2012 - Le Nurb FEATURES

To vote or not to vote? Kerri Prince On May 3, millions of people around the country were able to go to their local polling station and cast their vote, whether it was for local council elections, Mayoral referendums or the London Elections. Every person who has a residency in London, a British Citizen and over the age of 18 was able to vote – which raises concerns that the electoral turnout was only 38%, incredibly low compared to the French Presidential Election which saw the turnout hit 80%. Despite power cuts, broken counting machines, and ‘lost’ ballot boxes, the results were declared shortly before midnight. Some local authorities had begun counting their ballot papers the night before and by the time of the announcement of the Mayoral result, Labour had gained over 850 seats from other parties across the country, taking control of more local councils and putting the Labour Party in a positive mood for the Mayoral Result. But no matter how many seats the Labour Party won that night, it didn’t reflect the outcome of what was happening in London.

Seven candidates were running to be Mayor. With 1.3% of the vote, Carlos Cortiglia, the BNP Candidate came last. Despite positive polling and defections from across the country towards the party, the UK Independence Party only managed to come sixth with 1.96% of the vote. An independent candidate who picked up a fair amount of attention during the Mayoral Campaign was Siobhan Benita, an ex-civil servant who had attracted quite a lot of floating voters. Running without a party ticket, she managed to get 3.8% of the vote, which was translated from 83,914 ballots cast in her favour. The question on everybody’s lips was whether the Liberal Democrats were going to remain in third place, trailing behind Labour and the Conservatives, or whether they would come behind the Green Party who had been polling well throughout. Their worst fears were realised when Brian Paddick only managed to come 4th in the Mayoral Election with 4.16% of the vote, not much more than the Independent. The Green Party, with Jenny Jones, secured a comfortable third, beating the

Liberal Democrats with 4.48% of the vote. I personally was at the edge of my seat, my hands over my face, staring at the live broadcast from City Hall waiting for the results to be announced. As the candidates walked out onto the stage, the room was silent. With no candidate reaching 50% of the vote, all but the top two candidates were eliminated and second preferences were then taken into consideration. The final result was Boris Johnson on 51.53% and Ken Livingstone with 48.47 – Boris Johnson was re-elected as Mayor of London. Despite national antiConservative feeling, Boris had succeeded in distancing himself from unpopular policy and won another four years as Mayor of London. Although there was success for the Conservatives for Mayor of London, they had lost their Greater London Assembly seat in Ealing and Hillingdon to the Labour Party. Previous to the 2012 London Elections, our Assembly Member was Conservative candidate Richard Barnes, Deputy Mayor of London. But throughout the counting of ballots, the Labour

Tulisa: accidental feminist? Lily Woods The annual poll of ‘The World’s 100 Sexiest Women’ by the drooling readership of Britain’s most widely-read and influential male magazine, FHM, never fails to trigger headlines. The charttopping Rita Ora, and American actress Zooey Deschanel, were well-received newbies to the rankings. As well as Pippa Middleton who, no thanks to her beautifully fitting bridesmaid dress, pipped her sister to the top 20 post – The Duchess of Cambridge polled at 32. In light of FHM readers crowning ex-N-Dubz frontwoman Tulisa Contostavlos number one of their infamous rankings, I would question whether the X-Factor judge recovered from her embarrassing explicit video episode, in winning back some public acceptance and embodying some kind of fighting, feminist icon. The face of the X Factor judge, who replaced Cheryl Cole as resident sex symbol on the show, appeared in a pair of video clips, both of which went viral within minutes of being posted onto the internet. The initial clip, starring a younger, blonder version of the singer and an apparently disembodied penis, was featured on the web without any input from Tulisa. However, unlike the past list of shamed, silenced female celebrities who have reeled off the same scripted denial via the mouthpiece of their publicists, the latter clip shows Tulisa’s genuine self-posted reaction, defiant and true, in an unlikely


sexiness, which is part of modern culture and society, which in turn is constructed within a patriarchal framework. So cue the unashamed plugging of her newest video, and debut solo single “Young” – skimpy-dress clad dancing and all, plus the opening line aptly asking to “forgive me for what I have done.” The message has seemingly worked: the single officially reached number 1 in the UK in its first week of release. But can the feminists really have their cake and eat it too, when it comes to modern female celebrities, like Tulisa. Do they mould to fit the expectations of the patriarchy, whilst occasionally appearing to divert it? So whether she is number one of a marginally misogynist, malecentred poll of “Sexiness” or of the UK’s Official Top 40 Singles Chart – Tulisa has clearly made a positive effect. Feminist or not. Please recycle.

what’s happening in this country – austerity, the Olympics, tripled tuition fees, constitutional reform, lack of jobs, equal marriage, increase cost of living, the price of alcohol – all are influenced or decided upon by the government. Don’t dismiss your opportunity to vote, it’s the only way you can change something that you don’t like. You would miss it if it were taken away.

Making friends with the mirror: self-esteem for mirrorphobes Catherine Davies Whether you’re tall and thin, or short and round, we all feel like a goblin in human clothes sometimes. You can’t get your make up to look right, and the only clean clothes you have are jeans and that jumper your mum makes you wear when it’s cold. So what do we do, when those “I’m ugly” thoughts just won’t go away? Here are my tips on how to boost your self-esteem without resorting to surgery and/ or pimping yourself out to any guy who so much glances at you. Banish friends who won’t accept compliments. “You look so pretty,” “No, you’re pretty.; I’m fat and ugly.” “Your hair looks nice,” “Really?” (Accompanied by a patronising look.) We all have friends like these. You say something nice to someone, and they make you feel like an idiot with no sense of style. Eventually, this habit will rub off on you, and no matter what anyone says you’ll feel ugly and frumpish. So ditch the miserable bunch, and stick around the people who know how to gracefully accept a compliment.

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feministic move. The post sex-tape narrative is the first of its kind. Perhaps because rather than feel ashamed, Tulisa has challenged the view that women should not be embarrassed or apologetic for having sex – she shows no shame, only defiance: “I’m not going to sit here and be violated...” and takes the necessary ownership over her actions, apologising to her young fans. 23-year-old Tulisa was reported blushing and saying that being number one is “a lovely confidence boost,” on the red carpet last week. The feminist in me would continue to argue that portraying sexiness is empowering to women; and Tulisa is the sexiest of them all. But, it isn’t the self-constructed image of Tulisa in the mirror who says so; it’s the male readers of FHM who say so. And this is because her image conforms to the mainstream media’s idea of

Party candidate, Dr Onkar Sahota, had remained ahead of his Tory counterpart and eventually was declared the new Greater London Assembly member for Ealing and Hillingdon with over 65,000 votes. It’s no secret that I didn’t want Boris Johnson to be re-elected Mayor of London, but that isn’t what concerns me the most. The lack of student interest in elections concerns me more. Look around at


Take some nice pictures of yourself. For every picture of you that makes you smile, you can be sure that there are ten more that make you want to cry. So every time you see a bad snap, fix up your face, break out the camera, and take some good ones. Better yet, get some professional ones done. Certain photography studios will have competitions going occasionally, so make sure you keep an eye out for them. BUT be careful, because some of those competitions are just scams. I recommend Pierre Lemond studios, as there is no obligation to buy any photos, and any deposit is fully refundable. (See previous blog’s for details on scams.) These photos will serve to remind you just how beautiful you can look, to cheer you up on those ‘ugly’ days. Buy nicer jeans. A study from the University of Hertfordshire revealed that more than a third of women, when asked, said that

they would only wear jeans when they were feeling depressed. Apparently, jeans say that the wearer cannot be bothered with their appearance. So when you’re shopping for jeans, buy a pair that flatters you so even on those days you can’t be bothered, you can still look lovely. No matter what mood you are in never, ever, wear baggy sweats in public, unless you’re at the gym. Baggy sweats don’t even get their own bullet point. Wash!! I cannot stress how important this is. Keep your hair clean, your armpits sweat free and your breath minty. Even if you wear no makeup, and you succumb to the temptation of baggy sweats, having clean hair, skin and teeth can make you feel so much better about yourself. So stop skipping showers, and brush your teeth! Pick your favourite body part and use it. Legs, bum boobs or tum, pick a bit and stick with it. Most women are constantly complaining about the bits they don’t like. So you have a big stomach? You probably have the breasts to match. You have a bony bum, but you have a flat stomach too. There’s a yin to every yang, and don’t forget it. You’ll pick faults with your body no matter what it looks, like so don’t try to change how you look, change how you think. Eat healthily. No matter what you look like, you will manage to pick faults with something, so embrace what you look like and just make sure you’re insides are feeling good. When all the beauty has faded, if you took care of what’s on the inside, you’ll be happy in the long run. If you make sure you eat everything you should, your body will take on it natural, healthy state. Your skin will be clearer, your hair will be shinier, you’ll have more energy to exercise and you will feel fantastic. Those are my top tips for staying happy and healthy. Remember, it’s only you who has to live in your body, so make sure that anything you do to it is for your benefit.


May 2012 - Le Nurb FEATURES

What happens after uni? I came, I saw, I didn’t get RON’d. Tom Scott With the summer starting ever so shortly, students are left feeling one of three things (or a combination of the three, depending on how your year went): Relief. Relief that exams are over and coursework is through and all you can think about is sitting back and waiting till September rolls around so you can start it all over again. Over-the-top happiness. This usually belongs to students who will be graduating in July, knowing that three years and £9,000 gone by, you’ll finally be getting that piece of paper you can put in a frame and show off to your Aunt Edna whenever she pops round for tea. Sadness. This is the unfortunate realisation that after nine months of being at university and achieving relatively nothing, you know have to spend the next three being bored off your face and eating annoyingly well because you’re back home with your parents who insist on getting all their shopping from Marks and Spencer’s, whilst trying to convince them that sleeping 15 hours a day is a vitally important part of your life. For graduating students, this is a really exciting time. The world, as they say, is an oyster and opportunities are endless. Although they have the pressure of now having to do something with their lives, they can now become the person they have always wanted to be. For students who must return in September, I find that this isn’t the case. The summer is like being locked up in a prison and although

it is not a very long sentence, I find that you really can’t go out and achieve a lot because you’ll have to be back in just a couple of months and resume your normal life. This has been the case for me for a couple of years now and the summer holiday is a really annoying time of year where I’m just sitting around waiting for September to pop round the corner and say it’s ready for me. There are plenty of things that I could be doing this summer. I could get a job or an internship or churn butter for the next 90 days. That’s not saying I haven’t tried, but getting a job for three months is actually incredibly difficult. Case in point: I have applied for two jobs now where they have said they would be interested in hiring me but because I’m available for just three months, they can’t hire me because they work on six month contracts. There is always the opportunity to work in a bar or restaurant but I’ll be having to hand in my notice after just 6 weeks work, which is pretty poor. Something long term would be nice, especially when I can achieve something. I could go on holiday. There are places in the world that I have always wanted to go and see. I want to go to New York and I have dreamed of going to South Africa ever since I was about 9 but I just can’t afford it. After all, how many students can say that they finish university with some of their student loan to spare? My entire student loan this year was spent in either Nando’s or the coffee machine in the library. I can’t afford a trip to Johannesburg when I have such a chicken and caffeine addiction. The money would be better spent on therapy for those issues. There are certainly options out there for more. At the end of the

day, I’m looking for something to occupy my time before September rears its ugly head at me before it starts shouting “dissertation” in my ears. Yet, part of me can’t shake of the idea of what I’ll be getting up to during the summer. Part of me really likes the idea of sleeping a lot, playing FIFA and meeting up with mates on occasion to take part in “laddish banter” but then again it’s not something I can call an experience. I’m 22 years old. I should be boogie boarding on a remote beach in Laos, before meeting up with locals and drinking coconut milk straight from the coconut in a poorly built but ridiculously awesome tree house. Isn’t that what being a student is all about? As much fun as FIFA is, it isn’t quite boogie boarding. This is the conundrum facing students this summer, especially when jobs and part time opportunities are being squandered by the current economic climate. It’s harder than ever to get a foot in the door. Harder still when it is for the career of your dreams. On far too many occasions, after having a conversation with someone over their summer plans, have I left feeling jealous when they’ve achieved something unique or amazing. Then there is always when the response is “Nothing much. Just relaxing.” Then I feel empathy but also disappointment for what these people could be achieving. Minds are being wasted and I am doing nothing to buck the trend. Apathy is ugly yet delightful trait because there is nothing to worry about if you don’t do anything at all. I’m certainly left wondering what will this summer hold, and will my life be any different come September? At the very least, I am hoping for a tan.

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ST U DENT LE TT I NGS - 01895 252542 Please recycle.




You’ve seen the name around campus, on the lecture centre, you’ve heard it muttered by moaning design students... but what is it? Made in Brunel is a highly regarded platform used to showcase the innovative thinking of the graduating talent from Brunel University’s School of Engineering and Design. First created by a group of dedicated and enthusiastic students in 2006, it has since grown into a website, anually published book and event on South Bank promoting the strength of Brunel’s design, engineering and multimedia talent. The main exhibition in June is our finale event, where over four days, graduating projects are displayed for a predicted 1,600 visitors. Everyone is welcome... including you!

Who’s involved? Everything that goes into creating Made in Brunel is done in the spare time of the Engineering and Design students – it’s powered by our passion and ambition. A huge thank you for all of the hard work done by the Brand Comms team, Story Team, Events Team and Web Team

The journeys we make through our degrees are what shape our outlook as young designers and engineers. For 2012, Made in Brunel is sharing the processes and development that goes into all of the dissertations. Every project at Made in Brunel has a fascinating story. Our June show will exhibit the progressions of these projects from conception, through iterations and prototypes, to the final deliverable and why the project is important.

And a special thanks to: Andrew Ward and Corporate Relations Clive Gee and the Alumni Office The Staff of Engineering and Design

Journeys Fuelled by Ideas represents our aim for 2012 to share the journeys of the students, their projects and Made in Brunel itself. Follow us online to see the evolution of projects and uncover the innovative thinking behind them. Please recycle.



14th - 17th June

Register for free at

Project Snapshots The Future of Kinder FashionPad

Cycle Suspension Johanna’s FashionPad design combines interactive video content, real time fashion news updates and social media features, to create a fun and playful experience.

Designing and predicting brand futures is a core part of Brunel Design. Kinder is just one of the brands that students have explored, translating these future visions into product.

Get involved See us:

Catch our promo video online!

14-17th June 2012

Talk to us: Find us:

Join us:

Made in Brunel on LinkedIn

Follow us:


Location We are excited to be returning to London’s South Bank for our annual exhibition. Make a day in Central London, and come see us in the Bargehouse, OXO Tower Wharf. Just register, for free, online at by Luke Gray and Sophie O’Kelly. Photos ©Brunel University For more information, talk to us at Please recycle.

Roland’s anti-dive suspension aims to make the rider more confident when riding off-road. Using the braking force itself, it is able to stop the dive and improve the ride.


May 2012 - Le Nurb ARTS & REVIEWS


Danny O’Donoghue, Sir Tom Jones, Jessie J, and, who’s got a feeling that TONIGHT’S GONNA BE A GOOD, G- no? Okay.

The Voice REVIEW Lewis Sluman With ITV’s X Factor currently on its off-season, the BBC has taken full advantage with bringing The Voice UK to our screens. The audition process for The Voice is different to other competing talent shows, as the auditions

take place without the judges being able to see the contestant. Only until they press their buzzer to say they commit to wanting the singer will they then see the contestant. The judges for the UK version, in case you aren’t aware are:, Jessie J, Sir

Tom Jones and Danny from The Script. Each judge assembles a team of ten before narrowing it down in the rounds that follow. The opening round is a unique concept and it works well, especially before the next stage, dubbed ‘Battle Rounds’.

Two singers compete against one another at the same time, which sounds like an awful idea but works reasonably well. It certainly shows up the poor singers, but some of the judges have arguably made some horrible decisions.

One of the best things about this show is the fact it is on BBC1, which means zero adverts. None of the ‘Go Compare’ or ‘We Buy Any Car’ nonsense is shovelled to viewers, which for anyone with a sane mind is an absolute blessing. At first I thought the show was clearly the best talent show on television, without question. This opinion has wavered slightly as the show is incredibly positive, like worryingly positive. Nobody gives a negative outlook; we have Danny suggesting that anyone under the age of 20 who sings is a minor miracle, is willing to work with every single artist for the rest of their life and Tom Jones has been seen describing a singer better than Aretha Franklin on the back of a two minute audition. Jessie J doesn’t really have a positive thing, but she just can’t sit still and sings along to every single song. She signals with her hand what note comes next just in case we at home are stupid. The harshest thing anyone had said up until recently was Danny claiming someone was “a little pitchy.” When Ruth Ann St Luce ‘sung’ Promise This by Cheryl Cole I thought to myself, “we’ve got to see some criticism now,” and my faith was restored when all the judges gave negative feedback, although barely. However, I still prefer this to the pantomime villain of Simon Cowell getting booed for every single negative thing he says even when most of the time he is right. All the judges now have only four acts remaining each, and this week, two will have to leave from each judge. I can’t believe that a talent show isn’t getting drawn out for what feels like half a year - maybe that’s solely an ITV thing. Whatever it is, it most certainly is dope (only fans of the show will get this reference!)

Mass Effect 3 REVIEW Developer: Bioware Publisher: EA Platforms: Xbox 360, PS3, PC Ricky Compton A fair bit of pressure was on Bioware to produce Mass Effect 3 as the game to collect every single decision of Commander Shepard to date. And I must say, they do this brilliantly, as nearly everyone you’ve ever spoken to in Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 can be found somewhere in the galaxy. Bioware have made a world that has truly evolved with the decisions you make across the first two games and it makes decisions in Mass Effect 3 seem a lot more intense. Various decisions now increase the severity of the consequences, with decisions that affect life and death included in the mix. The combat system has been overhauled again to include more responsive turning when

sprinting, and a boosting cover system that improves your accuracy whenever you fire from behind cover. The powers system works much in the same way as it did in Mass Effect 2, so anyone used to the combat in Mass Effect 2 should not have any problems. The focal point of Mass Effect 3 is the ensuing war with the sentient machines known as the Reapers. Throughout the game you support the various races in the universe in order to win over their support and build an army of various military teams, key personnel and technology. These are all classified as ‘War Assets’ and can be monitored in the Normandy’s new War Room. The Kinect integration works well with the voice commands, although they slip into the background in some of the heavier firefights, especially where you need to bring the radial menus up to give you thinking time. One of my favourite features is the ability to say “quick save” out loud and

the game responds in suit. Plus, I’m sure over the past four days I’ve said, “Garrus, move,” more than anything else ever in my life. The immersion isn’t affected too badly, but it depends how much you use the Kinect. I personally do not use it for conversations, as it felt far too unnatural to say something and then hear Shepard say your words differently. Multiplayer is present, although in the form of wave based battles similar to Gears of War’s Horde mode or Call of Duty’s Survival option. It’s addictive and rewarding, adding to your single player game by increasing the ‘Galactic readiness’ for war. VERDICT



At the midway point in the game, I’m very impressed with the way Bioware have integrated the past decisions. There’s no way I cannot recommend it as the conclusion of my favourite series of games. Please recycle.

Bioware’s galactic space opera comes to an end.

May 2012 - Le Nurb ARTS & REVIEWS


2012 festivals: top picks for a great summer Veronica Grubb Now that it’s nearly the end of the academic year, most of us will probably be heading to a festival to revel in a summer free from essays and lectures: skipping gaily through fields in slow motion (Latitude), dancing until you’re at least severely dehydrated (Lovebox) or pretending to be normal i.e. ‘cool’ and heading to Reading or Leeds. No doubt if you’re a fan, you’ve already got your ticket ,but if you want to be head to a festival this glorious summer, then here’s a lowdown of the best of the UK’s music festivals and why you should love them (plus a couple of hidden gems!) ROCKNESS Dates: June 8-10 Headliners: Mumford & Sons, Deadmau5, Biffy Clyro Winner of NME’s ‘Best Small Festival’ Award, Rockness offers an eclectic mix of rock, pop and dance music against the beautiful backdrop of Loch Ness. Me on Rockness: If half of the festival experience is camping in the mud and rain, where better to do it? Also I wouldn’t miss Ed Sheeran and Tim Minchin for a pair of clean wellies. DOWNLOAD Dates: June 8-10 Headliners: The Prodigy, Metallica, Black Sabbath A real rock fan won’t miss out on these incredible headliners; Black Sabbath is reforming for their first show since 2005 and Metallica will be performing the Black Album in its entirety. HOP FARM Dates: June 29-July 1 Headliners: Bob Dylan, Suede, Peter Gabriel And The New Blood Orchestra Hop Farm scored a big name with Bob Dylan, I know people that are going only for him. It aims to put the

punters first with no sponsorship or branding, and focuses on folk and independent music. WIRELESS Dates: July 6-8 Headliners: Deadmau5, Drake, Rihanna Chart toppers hit Hyde Park this year. I can hear Wireless from my house; it’s like a free festival for Londoners in this sense – unless you actually want to see the acts. I do, but if I paid to see it, my wallet would eat my face. Tony Outterside on Wireless: ‘I’m going because a bunch of my friends are all going for my friend’s birthday, and I went a few years back when Pink headlined and it was amazing.’

V FESTIVAL Dates: August 18-19 Headliners: The Stone Roses, The Killers Definitely the leading and definitive festival for pop music, and no matter how corporate Virgin’s festival gets, it can’t help but attract crowds when the likes of Nicki Minaj and Snow Patrol are playing. CREAMFIELDS Dates: August 24-26 Lineup: David Guetta, Example, Deadmau5 The UK’s biggest dance music festival, Creamfields is a portable nightclub…it’s like a day and nightclub (that’s just not quite so catchy).

T IN THE PARK Dates: July 6-8 Headliners: Snow Patrol, The Stone Roses, Kasabian There’s something for everyone at T in the Park, and they’re all big names. With seven main stages featuring the likes of Enter Shikari to Olly Murs, there’s no reason not to go (unless you’re allergic to mud… but even then, it’s worth risking it!)

READING/LEEDS Dates: August 24-26 Headliners: The Cure, Kasabian, Foo Fighters The brother and sister festival, head to Reading/Leeds for the best in rock and pop. Nothing more needs to be said. Chantel Mulholland on Reading: ‘I like the headlining bands they have, it’s my favourite kind of music’.

LATITUDE Dates: July 12-15 Headliners: Bon Iver, Elbow, Paul Weller As much a culture festival as a music festival, alongside the likes of Lana Del Rey and Rufus Wainwright, there will also be the best of comedy (including Tim Minchin), cabaret (I recommend Late Night Gimp Fight for unadulterated laughs), poetry (including Benjamin Zephaniah) and more. Sophie Lockhart on Latitude: ‘If I did go to a festival this year it would be Latitude for the cultural experience…as their slogan says, it’s “more than a music festival.”

BESTIVAL Dates: September 6-9 Headliners: Stevie Wonder, New Order, The XX Bestival looks to be better than the Isle of Wight Festival in my opinion, especially with more diversity and of course, the best thing since sliced bread: fancy dress days. This year the theme is wildlife, featuring an Insect Museum and Animal Tug of War. Bestival provides an excuse to whip out that hungry caterpillar costume hiding in the back of your closet.

And the crowd goes wild! UNDER THE RADAR... ...the festivals you didn’t know about. FIELD DAY Dates: June 2 Lineup: Franz Ferdinand, The Vaccines One of the lesser-known London festivals, Field Day presents alternative music across five stages. They traditionally adopt a village fete style, featuring a coconut shy alongside egg and spoon races. Me on Field Day: Field Day has a consistently brilliant line up every year, featuring talent that you haven’t already heard five hundred times on the radio or television. Go for something refreshing. LOVEBOX Dates: June 15-17 Headliners: Hot Chip, Friendly Fires, Grace Jones London’s ace dance music festival Lovebox is a three-day long party. If your legs haven’t literally turned to jelly, and your body hasn’t been painted at least 3 different colours by the end of the weekend, you haven’t done it right. SUMMER BREAK Dates: June 10-14, June 17-21 Headliners: TBA, with Kissy Sell Out, Subfocus DJ Set

The UK’s answer to Spring Break, this is the festival for students if you just can’t wait to get back to The Academy. Alongside the line up and beach parties, there are also activities like abseiling and surfing. ELECTRIC PICNIC Dates: August 31-September 2 Headliners: The Cure, The Killers, Elbow This is the Irish version of Latitude if you kinda want to get out of the country for a festival. Well, Dublin. So this way, you can think of it as a nice holiday before the gruelling shock of having to get back to reality. I can’t say the line ups are looking quite as good as previous years, but personally, I’d do anything to get out of London for a bit during the Olympics. Although, considering both involve large, cumbersome crowds, that slightly defeats the point of avoiding London. Music, and culture in general, will be hitting London hard as we show off the best of British this coming summer -- so if you don’t like sharing the experience with a million tourists (where’s your patriotism?), then I’d definitely recommend hitting the road and heading for a festival.

Rufus Wainwright REVIEW Veronica Grubb Out of the Game is a reference to Wainwright – not growing up – but definitely a realisation that af ter having writ ten an opera and released a 19 - disc antholog y of his work, he’s been around the block a bit. This is simply testimony to Wainwright’s superb staying power; love or hate his honey- coloured tones as he drips from note to glorious note; I think it’s fair to say he’s never actually been out of the game. Add to this the bir th of his daughter, Viva, and you have a much deeper, and consequently, sophisticated album from Wainwright with this, his eighth album. Admit tedly, I do miss the spectacular craziness of some of Wainwright’s earlier albums, especially Want One and Want Two. Never theless,

the ethereal backing vocal s and lush, decorative melodies are still there; and the simple purit y of this album let s Wainwright’s distinctive vocal tone shine through. His music maintains that sense of being transpor ted to another world, like in a dream (although a less car toonish one than usual). Out of the Game does slide into seventies pop st yle at times, which is what Wainwright was af ter and led him to produce this with Mark Ronson. Yet I maintain it’s still in a st yle all of Wainwright’s own that he’s established across his innumerable years in the music industr y. More than any thing , the songs seem lyrically truthful to Wainwright. “There are many melodies to choose from, but there’s only one of you,” sings Wainwright in “Song

of You,” dedicated to his par tner, Jorn Weisbrodt, and consequently Viva’s ‘other dad’, as Wainwright refers to him in her song , “Montauk.” These odes, in a sense, could be considered narcissistic; but a par t of his endless appeal is his dramatic personalit y, and there is something more intimate than any previous albums for this to be as stripped back as it is. Out of the Game is a testament that Wainwright’s career still has countless years ahead of him, as he reinvent s his own unique st yle over in an album that not only speak s of him, but to you. And if that’s not enough, one of his big gest fans, Helena Bonham- Car ter features in the video for “Out of the Game,” in her lingerie. Rufus Wainwright is cer tainly still at the top of his game. Please recycle.

Wainwright’s still got it.


May 2012 - Le Nurb ARTS & REVIEWS

The Undateables REVIEW Ruth Hodges If you thought finding a potential partner was hard enough as it is, The Undateables, shown on Channel 4, helps to put things in perspective. Among the many people we meet over three episodes, there is Justin, who suffers from face tumours and after having undergone over a hundred operations from his childhood; he has been left severely disfigured. After joining a dating agency, he hoped that his bachelor days would be at an end at last. But, as the agency pointed out, it wasn’t going to be easy; after all, physical attraction was the first thing people look for in a mate. Other aspects of people we met in the show that made them ‘undateable’ included Tourette’s, learning difficulties, and wheelchairs. The documentary followed them around as they went on a few dates and embarked on their quest for love. As the series ended, I had to ask myself what I gained from watching the programme, and what the point of it was. Unfortunately, I knew the answer was something that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. The truth was, I knew it was because it made me feel slightly better about myself. Yes, finding love was hard, but at least I managed to restrain myself from pinching chips from the plate of the person I was going out on a date with. Are we laughing along with the people we meet watching this programme, or, whether we want to admit it or not, are we laughing at them instead? I wondered how those being filmed felt about how they were shown to be. Were they aware when being filmed,

of the patronising voice of the woman narrating, and the slightly comedic music that played in the background as they went about finding a partner? These people were putting themselves out there, being filmed and having the awkwardness and embarrassment of a first date, alongside the possible rejection that can come with it, being broadcast to millions, which is definitely a prospect that no one would really be happy with. I think that all of them are far braver

than I could ever be. And then of course, there is the title. The creating of the word ‘undateable’ to describe these people by Channel 4 made me feel even more uneasy about my viewing. Don’t we all have something wrong with us? No one is perfect. We might not be wheelchair-bound, or involuntarily swear at inappropriate moments, but everyone has his or her own problems. Aren’t we all, in a sense ‘undateable’ for one reason or another? Branding people who

might have slight social difficulties with this name, and implying that they will never find love is not only unfair, it’s offensive. That said however, I know the producers weren’t showing people to be laughing stocks intentionally, and although this slightly has been the case, they simply wanted to show us that some people’s lives aren’t as straightforward as ours can be. It’s going to sound corny I know, but this documentary has shown me that there is truly someone out

there for everyone. Something one person may consider unattractive or unappealing is of absolutely no issue to another person. There’s not going to be a follow up series as of yet, and maybe it’s for the best. The show itself was a risky manoeuvre, as it always is when filming those with disabilities. No one feels comfortable watching a ‘freak show’ and in some places, it appeared to come across that way.

to the extent the interplay between characters and chorus echoes the form of a Greek tragedy. Kent’s production speaks to you more than the average musical might do. But of course, Sweeney Todd isn’t average;

with this stellar cast, and of course, Sondheim’s score, Kent didn’t have to do much to make this show spectacular, yet, he’s achieved this and so much more. If you see anything this year, attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.

Sweeney Todd REVIEW Veronica Grubb Let’s not beat about the bush: Sweeney Todd is the best thing in the West End right now. I had unknowingly formed a lot of preconceptions about this musical from Tim Burton’s film adaptation; which I’ve now lost. Anthony Ward’s design is definitely Burton-esque, and this is because director, Jonathan Kent, has updated Sweeney to the 30’s, against an industrial backdrop. Kent’s production is sophisticated, with a visual language accompanying the libretto that’s almost Brechtian. It even toes upon Brecht’s Marxist themes; a whistle blows – rather, the whistle is blown – most times Sweeney takes a victim, or alternatively, delivers produce to Mrs Lovett, Sweeney Todd seeks revenge upon Judge Turpin, who wrongly transported him to Australia years ago as a criminal, and then raped his wife and adopted his daughter in his absence. But his bloodlust soon turns upon

the rest of humanity; Sweeney turns upon the audience, knife in hand, and sings ‘we all deserve to die,’ and looking at the production values, and the manner in which we empathise with a serial killer over a corrupt judge, I can’t help but wonder if Kent means it. The ensemble lingers at the top of the stage, peering through fractured windows into the tale of Sweeney Todd, but not learning from it. They scale to banshee like top notes that shake your insides. Their refrain has a scaremongering quality about it, which working with Sondheim’s humour; holds the audience on edge. What I had lost from Burton’s film is Sondheim’s humour. The wit cuts through the intensity of the content like a blunt knife. Imelda Staunton steals the show, revitalising the role of Mrs Lovett. She has the audience in the palm of her hand, a laugh a minute. Michael Ball – better known for his charm than his menace – also astounds, his

sonorous voice both occupying the vulnerability and insanity in the character of Sweeney. They are supported immensely by an immense cast, including Peter Polycarpou and John Bowe, the Beadle and Judge Turpin respectively; as immoral pillars of the law. Polycarpou plays the harmonium with gusto to say the least, and playing against Staunton in an impossibly tense and hilarious penultimate scene. In parallel, Lucy May Barker and Luke Brady possess the sweet tones of young lovers, naïve to the world around them. Without them, Sweeney wouldn’t be quite so bitterly moving. Indeed, I didn’t expect a show like Sweeney to move me on quite so many levels. Their duet has a touch of Bernstein’s ‘Tonight’, moving them stubbornly through this production, which is both more fluid by contrast, both in morals and movement. The laughter and tears rest upon the knife’s edge which is dramatic irony, Please recycle.

May 2012 - Le Nurb ARTS & REVIEWS


2 chords. 130 decibels. 1 night in custody.

mont First h’s re ntal


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How much technology is too much technology? Matt Smith We trust electronic devices to route our emails, organise our treasured memories in photo albums, and even to manage important systems like energy supplies. Yet some technological advances must leave even the more ardent lovers of the microchip with a few doubts at the back of their minds. They’ve given the internet some structure for as long as we can remember, mapped the entire planet, and built an impressive mobile operating system, but no amount of previous success could convince me to take a seat in the world’s first completely automated car, recently unveiled by Google. The state of Nevada has granted the first ever automated car licence so that Google’s modified Toyota Prius model -which covered 140,000 miles in tests without incident, and has been dubbed ‘the car of the future’ by the director of the state’s Department of Motor Vehicles -- can ferry passengers around its roads. Yet no number of miles sans

accident is enough to win me over. If Google Search fails, you can’t find the Wikipedia page you need to complete your essay; if Google Maps fails, you rely on your friend’s ‘shortcut’ and arrive at the party late; and if Android fails, you suffer the inconvenience of having to restart your phone. But if a car fails you could be dead. By no means is this an attack on Google; with all their experience they’re probably one of the best possible companies to undertake such a project. This is a wider issue. Maybe it’s about time we had a look at technological advances and decided where it’s safe to draw a line. In the last few years we’ve seen hackers break into just about everything, overheating games consoles, and phones that can’t get a signal to make a phone call to name but a few. When we can’t even make relatively simple devices work properly, is the human race really in a position to make something like a self-driving car?

Google: soon controlling your car, eventually the world. One small error could spell catastrophe, and as the concept becomes more and more mainstream, budget designers are surely going to get in on the action. Cheap phones are often less reliable than their more expensive counterparts, so will the same be true for automatic cars? That’s not to mention the danger of hackers in such an Please recycle.

environment. How easy would it be for them to kidnap somebody if they had control of their car? Of course all of these instances will be safeguarded against, and no problems have been reported with Google’s initial design, but sometimes overall safety must have to take precedent over convenience and laziness. What’s the big deal about having to drive, anyway?

Why do we need a computer to do it for us? I’ll let computers send my emails, organise my photos (with a backup, of course), and run various appliances around my house, but when it comes to potentially lethal situations like driving, I’ll use my own two hands, thank you very much.


May 2012 - Le Nurb COFFEE BREAK

COFFEE BREAK Revenge of the Giant Maze of Awesome Twelve months ago, in the eighth and final 2010/11 issue, the Giant Maze of Awesome was unleashed upon Le Nurb’s readers. (LOLOLOLOLOL. - Rob) Some prevailed, and Facebook proclaimed their victories to the world. Now it returns for one final battle, bigger than ever and ready to destroy your summer all over again. See you at the finish.

Please recycle.

May 2012 - Le Nurb COFFEE BREAK

Please recycle.



May 2012 - Le Nurb COFFEE BREAK



Medium Difficulty: 55555

1 8

9 6 2








6 4











1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Wordfinder Difficulty: 55555 Find as many words as possible using letters from the grid. The words must be four letters or more, and contain the central letter, but each letter may not be used more than once. There is at least one word that uses all nine letters in the grid.

ARIES (March 21-April 20)

This could be an incredibly important day: not only in terms of your career but also in terms of family. Jeremy Kyle has the results back and it’s squeaky bum time.

TAURUS (April 21-May 21)

A life with no challenges is like throwing away a clock: a waste of time. Cut off your least favourite limb to see what things feel like at a jaunty angle.

GEMINI (May 22-June 21)

Today you will be able to banish university-induced stress from your mind by gargling lighter fluid, riding a unicycle and juggling babies. That will take your mind off that exam paper you just fudged.

CANCER (June 22-July 22)

Cancer is the ‘sign of the crabs’ but you are unlikely to contract any STDs. Snake bites, however: that’s another matter.

LEO (July 23-August 22) VIRGO (August 23-September 21)

Michael Jackson once said “Heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race.” But he is dead now, so…

LIBRA (September 22-October 22)

Why is a raven like a writing desk? While you ponder that, I’ll go through your bag.

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)

Recently, the Olympic torch was set alight in Greece. Take this as a sign of the flames of your love life. They can go around the world, see many people and still wind up in a trough in East London to go out alone and unloved.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)

You will be a fan of blue-sky thinking this month and the world is your oyster. What you won’t notice is the large pothole. Can I have your Xbox?

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 20)


Speaking as a lion, all I can say is ‘raarrgh’.

Oh, oh, oh it’s magic. You knooowwwww, you’ll never believe it’s not so.

AQUARIUS (January 21-February 19)

You think you are the pinnacle of evolution but when was the last time a chimp had to do taxes?

PISCES (February 20-March 20)

Babies are not meant to be sugared or parboiled. Parenting classes may be important to someone close to you.

W E O Olympics Predictions 23-28 excellent

Medium Sudoku

6 4 3 2 8 1 7 9 5

9 2 1 4 7 5 6 3 8


Event 400m circle jerk Ancient pentathlon* Fistbump Uncoordinated gymnastics Tableu tennis*** Penny-farthing bicycling 100mm inspection Water horse polo Chess boxing Shin kicking Ultimate mathletics

29 godlike

7 8 5 9 3 6 4 1 2

RATINGS: 12-16 17-22 average good

by Ben Moxey.

Predicted winner Primula Verk Eckle Boyd Frelkins Clement Misstrouser** Clint Bludgeon Wang Dong Schlong Rupert Razzle Jonathan Toogood Monty Python Tyson Kasparov 2.0 Between Michaels Titsiana Boobarini

* consisting of the plague, diphtheria, flower arranging, dancing the Gay Gordon and invading France.


** narrowly beating Hilary Elastoplast by 12 knuckles to seven. *** athletes must paint a picture of a tennis match as fast as possible.

Please recycle.

2 9 8 1 5 4 3 6 7

5 1 6 3 9 7 2 8 4

4 3 7 6 2 8 1 5 9

8 7 4 5 6 3 9 2 1

aver, avow, avowed, dove, drove, drover, nave, nova, novae, oven, over, overdraw, overdrawn, overran, rave, raved, raven, rove, roved, rover, vane, vend, vendor, vowed, wave, waved, waver, wove, woven.

1 6 2 8 4 9 5 7 3

3 5 9 7 1 2 8 4 6

12-16 average 17-22 good 23-28 excellent 29 godlike Ratings:

May 2012 - Le Nurb SPORT


The Sports Fed Awards FULL COLOURS Full Colours are awarded to individuals who have achieved an ‘exceptional performance’. All winners have achieved national or international recognition. They are as follows: Athletics Zara Asante Finished 1st in the Scottish nationals 2011, and won silver at this years BUCS Indoor champs.

champs 2012, ranked 2nd in the senior UK rankings for Triple Jump. Joanna Rowland BUCS Heptathlon champion, represented Team GB in Pentathlon & Heptathlon. Shakira Whight BUCS indoor champion and record holder, ranked 4th in the UK for the Triple Jump. Andre Wright Current South of England Senior Men’s 100m champion.

Ashley Bryant 5th in the World University Games, won the BUCS Decathlon and represented Team GB.


Mark Cryer 3rd in the England U20 Indoor Heptathlon Championship and selected for the GB & NI team against France and Spain.

Men’s Basketball

Stephanie Gaynor Won gold at BUCS outdoor champs in 2011 & Indoor champs 2012 and selected to compete in the international Diamond League.


Leah Moore Nationally ranked in senior top 10 athletes in Ireland for 100m & 200m.

Nathan D’Cruz Won Gold in the BUCS individual Championships this year.

Louis Sayers Selected for the Universities team.


Patrick Diai Won Gold in the BUCS individual championships Hristian Hristov Won Silver in the BUCS individual championships.

Michael Puplampu Won gold at BUCS indoor


Women’s Football

Rugby League

Alexander Gordon Competed in the ‘Worlds’ competition in America Conor Kenny as part of the Ascension Eagles team.

Lois Roche Represented Ireland in this year’s Under 19’s European Championships.

James Morgan Currently playing for London Broncos academy in the Super League.

Men’s Hockey

Men’s Rugby Union

Thaddeus Rivett Plays English Premier League Hockey and training for Saxon Tigers in the Great Britain Super League.

Mark Odejobi Represented England in Rugby 7’s.

Ben Tibble Plays English Premier League Hockey, represented England A team as well as training for Saxon Tigers in the Great Britain Super League.

Abubakr Chaudhry Kenyan No.1 and African No.5.

Conor Kenny Competed in the ‘Worlds’ competition in America Conor Kenny as part of the Ascension Eagles team. Gavin Mathers Competed in the ‘Worlds’ competition in America Conor Kenny as part of the Ascension Eagles team. Women’s Cricket Binaisha Shah Selected for England under 21’s Women’s Cricket squad. Ceara Toal Represented England Women at the Indoor Cricket world cup in South Africa in 2011. Dance Lisa Boyles Competed in the IDF world championships 2011 in Italy. Waleed Deeba Competed in the IDF world championships 2011 in Italy. Alvin Moros Competed in the IDF world championships 2011 in Italy.

Karting David Pittard Won the British Universities Karting Championship Individual Drivers’ Championship. Netball Mikaela Austin Plays Super League for Hertfordshire Mavericks and was in this year’s English Universities squad. Kathryn Holland Plays Super League for Surrey Storm as well as playing for English Universities and trained with the national squad.


Table Tennis Jack Pegram Represented Team GB in Table Tennis. Tamborelli Dilushi Jayasingha Mudalige Runner up in this year’s Women’s World Tambourelli Championships. Tennis Claire Ricketts Represented GB in the World University Games in Beijing last summer. Triathlon James Donaldson Represented GB in the European Championships and came second in his age group.

CLUB COLOURS These are awarded to individuals who have gone above and beyond their role, and made a significant contribution to their Club. These people have done more than was expected of them and without which their Club would have really struggled. They are as follows: American Football Orion Modebe Yaw Owusu-Nyarko

Men’s Cricket Dan Filmer Christopher Millen

Women’s Hockey Annie-Louise Allum Catriona Bausor

Rowing Nicola Benavente Christopher Moody

Archery Diana Owusu-Ansah Jaspreet Sandhu

Women’s Cricket Dilushi Jayasingha Mudalige

Jitsu Otto Kauhanen

Rugby League Vincent Spurr

Dance Jason Baptiste Victoria Stokes Rebecca Whitaker

Judo Kia Shirazi Pouria Tourian

Men’s Rugby Union Bobby Coles Joshua Smith James Spofford

Athletics Claire Lilley Badminton Oscar Lappay Callum Phair Men’s Basketball Daniel Dunscombe Omenah Okogu Women’s Basketball Amy Smith Grace Trueman Boxing William Hughes Stanislav Triandolfilidi Cheerleading Eleanor Mailes Climbing (BUMS) James Britton Rosemary Jones Michael Redgrave Claire Sealey

Equestrian Panayiota (Dee) Antoniou

Karate Martina Lindblad Huw Roberts

Fencing Laurence Knott

Karting Martin Trinder

Men’s Football Craig Bartlett Thomas Dent Duncan Foster Thomas Grant

Kayaking Jayke Harrison Pavlo Rychko

Women’s Football Bethany Liles

Kung Fu Zoe Gillespie Mohamed Soliman

Golf Richard Fowles Michael Kilner

Mixed Martial Arts Devansh Arora Olusanya Imode Finn Turley

Men’s Hockey Paul Round Jamie Smith Jonathan White

Netball Emma Catlin Harriet Thornton Please recycle.

Women’s Rugby Union Charlotte Plummer Sailing Daniella Barnett Andrew Jack Simon McNamee Samuel Parkinson Dominic Smith Snow Adam Philpot Squash Joanne Barnard

Table Tennis Benjamin Rolfe Tamborelli Matthew Bentley Target Shooting James Starley Tennis Daniel Fisher Duncan Jones Jessica Mapp Danial Wilson Ten Pin Bowling David Roach Triathlon John Borton TROGS Alexander Chatterton Trampolining Zoe Stokes

Sub Aqua Stephen Drew Marshel Weerakone

Ultimate Frisbee Stewart Bailey Nathan Carrington Jamie Edwards

Swimming Charlotte Whiteley

Volleyball Behrouz Behzadan


May 2012 - Le Nurb SPORT

The Sports Fed Awards (cont’d.) Fresher of the Year This is awarded to a Club Member in their First Year who has shown potential and enthusiasm on an operational and/or performance level and has stood out in front of their peers. The winners of Fresher of the Year 2012 is: Diana Owusu-Ansah (Archery) & Jaspreet Sandhu (Archery)

Most Improved Club of the Year Most Improved Club of the Year is awarded to the Club that has demonstrated the greatest development from previous years, on an operational and/or playing level. This may include membership, implementing opportunities for members and improved performance. The winner of Most Improved Club of the Year 2012 is: Tennis

Team of the Year Team of the Year is awarded to a side that has achieved a highly recognised status, shown exceptional performance and consistency during competition whilst representing Brunel throughout the year. The winner of Team of the Year 2012 is: Women’s Volleyball

Sportsman of the Year Sportsman of the Year is the highest award in recognition of individual sporting achievement for a sportsman. The winner of Sportsman of the Year 2012 is: Ashley Bryant (Athletics)

Sportswoman of the Year Sportswoman of the Year is the highest award in recognition of individual sporting achievement for a sportswoman. The winner of Sportwoman of the Year 2012 is: Kathryn Holland (Netball)

HALF COLOURS Half Colours go to individuals for ‘Outstanding Sporting Performance’ or ‘Outstanding Club Administration’. Successful recipients will either have demonstrated individual sporting excellence at levels beyond those commonly recognised as the highest levels of their Club, or have contributed to a lasting improvement for their Club and an outstanding co-ordination of their activities. They are as follows...

Membership Engagement Club of the Year Membership Engagement Club of the Year recognises the calibre of activities and management of a Club and how it benefits their membership. Areas considered include: Development; Coaching opportunities; Chances to progress; Involvement; Participation; Inclusiveness; Community engagement; Administration and Social activities. The winner of Membership Engagement Club of the Year 2012 is: Women’s Hockey

Club of the Year This highly prestigious title is awarded to the Club that the Awards Panel considers has provided the best service to its members and the Students Union as a whole. This can include social, recreational and competitive activities. The winner of Club of the Year 2012 is: Men’s Cricket

Site of the Year Site of the Year is presented to a Club for outstanding visual presentation and regularly updated with relevant content that supports the activities of the Club through their Web or Mini site. The winner of Site of the Year 2012 is: Sailing

Athletics (P) Melissa Courtney (A) Eloise Newman (P) Eloise Newman Women’s Basketball (P) Alexandra Florea Cheerleading (A) Lisa Webster Climbing (BUMS) (P) Nicolas Levy (A) Graham May Men’s Cricket (P) Vimal Arjan (P) Simon Bell (A) Adam Warden (A) Ben Woodhouse Dance (A) Roisin Mooney (A) Emily Armstrong Equestrian (P) Callum Henn (A) Laura Smith (A) Laura Townsend Men’s Football (P) Jack Duffy (A) Daniel Mitchell Women’s Football (P) Emma Davies (A) Laura Reilly

Club Person of the Year

Men’s Hockey (A) Richard Carter

Club Person of the Year is the highest award possible in recognition of a student involved in the running of their Club.

Women’s Hockey (P) Catriona Bausor (A) Evelyn Eyles

The winner of Sportwoman of the Year 2012 is: Kiarash Zandi (Volleyball)

RAG Club of the Year The winner of RAG Club of the Year 2012 is: Men’s Football

Kung Fu (P) Daniel Jeantou Mixed Martial Arts (P) Daniel Pearce Netball (A) Emilyn Hutchinson Rowing (P) Nicola Benavente

Fencing sharper than ever

Rugby League (P) Tomas Bavington (A) Robert Moss

Christopher Mollard Despite the men’s team missing out on promotion by the skin of their teeth, the 2011/12 season has been one with many successes. The men’s 1st recorded their highest ever league points finish, 27 with nine wins in ten matches, and only remain in the conference league on points difference. They were knocked out of the cup by the eventual winners, UCL, at the quarterfinals stage, and the women’s team made it to the last 16. With the exception of Club Chair Laurence Knott, the core of the team should remain for next year’s men’s team to once again launch an assault on the two trophies that have eluded this team for so long.

Men’s Rugby Union (A) Thomas Ratcliffe

The women’s 1st kept their place in their league for the third year running, doing well to establish themselves in the middle tier of league fencing despite a very depleted group of only five girls. On an individual level, Brunel Fencing has seen lots of promise. Having only started fencing in September, Ben Usher has since competed in and scored ranking points in two opens including one bronze medal. Christopher Mollard has reached a career high GB ranking of 40th for Foil; Alex McGeogh 106th for men’s Epee; and Stuart Dixon 57th for men’s Sabre as well as a silver medal at the Junior Commonwealth Games representing Wales

and 6th place at the BUCS individual championships (where we were all dressed in animal onesies!). On the first weekend of May, four Brunel fencers went to the Brighton Open and took home two bronze medals in the men’s Foil (Christopher Mollard) and men’s Sabre (Ben Usher). This year’s successes also include Stuart Dixon taking home the silver medal at the Slough Open and other members reaching bigger stages on the GB circuit. Brunel fencing spring competition is running during FACE, on Tuesday, May 22, where the fencers will compete in a knockout tournament to be crowned Brunel Champion! Please recycle.

Women’s Rugby Union (P) Malika Moubtahij Sailing (A) Robert Scotthorne Skydiving (A) Rebecca Anderton Snow (P) Daniel Curtis Swimming (A) Rachel Keeley Tennis (A) Josh Murray A medal-rich year for the team.

Volleyball (A) Kiarash Zandi

May 2012 - Le Nurb SPORT

On the road to London 2012 Ollie de Kretser Brunel is never short of sporting achievements. Only recently, a graduate struck gold at the World Indoor Athletics Championship. The tennis club achieved national recognition from the Lawn Tennis Association and Tennis Foundation. And our athletes finished second in the medal table at the opening of the Olympic Stadium. But there is another whose achievements stand tall among the rest. Brunel graduate, devoted mother and wheelchair basketball star, Sarah Grady. It has been an impressive journey for the 27-year-old Paralympic hopeful, and the road to London 2012 will be no different as she faces challenges both on and off the court to make the Standard Life GB Women’s Wheelchair Team. This journey all began at the age of seven when Sarah was hit by a virus that damaged her spinal cord. At the young age of 13, she tried out for wheelchair basketball. “The second I started playing basketball in 1997 I knew that this was what I was going to do – I loved it! I had my mum find me a club close to where we lived which

also had some female players, and that was Force – I was at the club up until this season when I moved to Team Mandeville.” After only three years of playing, she took a trip across the world to represent Great Britain at the Sydney Olympics in 2000. From that point, there was no slowing down for Grady. Four years later she competed in Athens 2004, but soon after she had to take a break. “I became pregnant with Josh in 2007 and after he was born in 2008 I went back to full time work and didn’t think I would be able to afford to come back to GB.” “Then a colleague asked if I was given the opportunity to go back to GB for London 2012, would I? The answer was obviously yes! And after discussions with family, work and [GB Women’s Coach] Garry Peel it was worked out that I could.” Sarah has been playing at club level since she had Josh, but she now has her eyes fixed on London and the chance to play at international level again. “To play for your country is one of the biggest honours for a sportsperson to do and for

me to be able to come back has been fantastic.” Grady currently works as a Digital Media Coordinator at Red Gate Software after graduating from Brunel in 2005 with a BSc in Business and Sports Science. For the chance to compete at London 2012 Grady would have to take up the financial burden of leaving her job but this opportunity means the world to her. “I don’t even think I can put it into words, it’s just too exciting! It’s the most important sporting event that will be happening in my home country in my sporting lifetime and one I could compete in. On home ground, with home supporters, I would be bursting with pride as we parade around the track during the opening ceremony. “I don’t know whether I can compare it to Sydney. It will be just as special, but for different reasons. My little boy will be there cheering me on along with my husband.” In November, Sarah reduced her hours at work to train but with petrol costs, training costs and housing bills that need paying she has started fundraising to keep her family and her dreams alive.

But it is not just her own dreams she is fundraising for. Any money she raises over her £8,000 target will go towards Get Kids Going! to help future athletes realise their potential. “They do fantastic work for young disabled people in helping provide sports wheelchairs as well as grants for those who are trying to compete at an elite level who do not get funding.” Grady is well aware that she still has some way to go to reach her goal to build towards the Games. But with a total of £2007.69 raised so far, and £100 already generously donated to Get Kids Going! There are no doubts what so ever that she can do it. “The hardest part has been getting back to fitness and getting used to all the different training sessions the girls now do. Five years ago it was completely different! We didn’t have anywhere near the support we now have.” Always looking to improve, Sarah is clear about what she needs to build upon to further assist her team. “I’ve been focusing a lot more on my shooting and doing as much

shooting as possible. I’ve also been watching videos from the games so I can really see where I went wrong. I feel that this is so important for the development of my game and I really enjoy video work!” Her husband saw Grady at her best before she became pregnant and has played a big role in supporting her, being completely honest about her gameplay. “He will never say I played well if I didn’t, so I really value his opinion, he also knows what to say to help me get the belief I have in my abilities back!” Wheelchair Basketball is one of the most renowned events of the Paralympic Games. An actionpacked, highly skilled game played across four periods of ten minutes, this exhilarating sport is set to be one of the highlights of the London 2012 Games. FIND OUT MORE Sarah regularly updates her “My Journey to 2012” blog with her thoughts on her training and family life. Take a look via

A fitting end

Celina Goddard Membership has been strong this year.

Double promotion this year for Rugby Union Ollie de Kretser Brunel Men’s Rugby Union Club has experienced a vast amount of success this year, most noticeably obtaining 1st and 2nd team promotion from leagues in which the 1st have been in for a number of years, and the 2nd previously demoted into. Becoming a performance sport within the university has given the club the ability to help foster its players into an enhanced performancedriven environment; this has been demonstrated through extra strength & conditioning sessions, video analysis, sport psychology sessions, position specific training as well as physiotherapy support. This has also been reciprocated

off the field through several players obtaining a Level 1 Rugby coaching award. Furthermore, continuation with our coaching staff, one of whom has previous experience playing professionally and is currently is involved with the England 7’s squad, has allowed our players to develop and evolve, no matter their previous level of experience or skill. The club was involved within two touring side fixtures and was victorious on both occasions. This allowed our members to experience a diverse playing style, whilst being involved within a unique sporting occasion. Moreover, the club attended

the university tour for the first time in years, and Brunel Men’s Rugby were also heavily involved at this year’s Varsity match. We have worked hard to improve our relationship with the university as a whole. The club has experience large membership numbers this year, many of which have continued their involvement throughout the whole academic year and post-graduation, through the participation within two ‘old boys’ games. This is something we wish to build upon and promote next season and can be attributed to the successful hard work of this year’s committee. Please recycle.

Shaun Handy How do you finish a pretty successful year at Brunel? By celebrating of an end of an era! While the society shall continue on, the coming summer sees two of BUMS most integral members retire from the teaching game. On April 22, Mike Brightwell and Prof were honoured for their decades of work in service to Brunel University Mountaineering Society. Hard though it was to adequately sum up such seasoned careers, rock climbers new and old (some very), gathered at the Crowne Plaza hotel to show how truly grateful we all are for everything they have done. With over 100 attendees, the pair were toasted by ex-pupils and awarded trophies, handcrafted from Welsh slate, then allowed to drink and dance till they dropped. As the hangovers faded and term began, the transition from Climbing Fresher to BUM took effect as we prepared for our final trip of the term – Leader’s Weekend. The test of all that has


been taught since the start of the year is held and, those brave enough, will find themselves climbing the crags in and around Tremadog, Wales. It is also our very last social, goodbye and good luck to the new Exec as they look ahead to the new year. For competitions, delegates were sent to the four rounds of LUBE (London University Bouldering Event) as well as BUCS in Sheffield. BUCS saw us coming 24th out of 49 Universities with valiant efforts from everyone who went. Our main triumph came at LUBE where our A Team came seventh overall, with the B Team coming 14th, out of 27. This is fantastic news that can be used to spur our teams on; perhaps we will see the A Team in the top five, and the B Team in the top ten next year. To sign off, BUMS would like to say a massive thanks to its members, its hard working Exec, and Mike and Prof, we hope you enjoy the freedom of not having to teach another horrible lot of students.

Suit up!


May 2012 - Le Nurb SPORT

SPORT This month... SPORTS FED All the Award results!


Looking back on this year


Mairi Olivier

Equestrian Club leaps to victory

RUGBY UNION A rugby recap


Next year for Mountaineering...

Laura Townsend Brunel Equestrian has shown strength and determination this year , giving the club with the best year it has ever seen. The club has been developed both competitively and socially, and for the first time ever the club has a development squad. This squad has gone from strength to strength, ending the year with a friendly competition against Reading. Special mentions must go to Sammie Maycock, who placed 2nd individually – an outstanding result for her first competition. In July 2011, after winning the

Regionals, the Brunel 2nd team competed at the nationals. The same as league matches; the competition was made up of two phases; dressage and show jumping. The team showed pure strength and placed 6th nationally despite tough competition from specialist equine colleges, which is an amazing achievement! Special mentions must go to Carol Tennant who not only captained the team, but also finished 8th individually. The leagues this year proved tough, but the teams battled the freezing weather, early

mornings and naughty horses to achieve scores to be proud of. This year the 1st team placed third, the 2nd team second and the 3rd team fourth in their individual leagues. Individually all team members competed to a very high standard throughout the leagues. Special mentions to all those who got placed this year: Callum Henn (2nd, 2nd, 8th) Laura Townsend (2nd, 5th, 6th) Charlie Davis (4th) Laura Smith (5th) Demi Trenholm (5th) Rachael Newport (6th) Dee Antoniou (8th) Clara Limpus (8th). (Competitions are all out

of 16 competitors). Callum Henn, following his successful year last year as part of the 2nd team, has again qualified for Nationals after placing third at Regionals last month. We all wish him the best of luck and sure he will again do us proud!! Nationals will be taking place in July. Finally, a massive thank you to Laura Smith and the captains of each team (Callum Henn, Racheal Newport, Clara Limpus & Demi Trenholm)! Without these people, the club wouldn’t have had such a great year!

Final whistle blows for B.U.A.F.C 23 EQUESTRIAN

More success for Equestrian


Danny Mitchell As another year closes for B.U.A.F.C, it is safe to say that the club has made a huge amount of progress in the past year. From hosting a BBC documentary, to winning RAG club of the year at the Sports Federation Ball, I must say as chairman how immensely proud I am of how far the club as come. Although our performances on the pitch have not been as good as previous years, the club has been run fantastically from top to bottom, and therefore I must thank this year’s committee and captains who have made this possible. Tom Grant, Tom Dent, Josh Fitzgerald, Sam Watts, Luke Smythe, Charlie O’Neill, Craig

Bartlett, Aaron Bufton, Charlie Daniels and Jack Duffy, you have all been a massive credit to the club this year. I thank you all for your efforts; while you have set the bar extremely high for next year’s committee and captains, I am sure they will have no problems in carrying on our good work into the 2012/13 academic year. The club hosted its annual presentation night on May 11 and it was a huge success, with various trophies being awarded. Congratulations to Sam Watts, TK Mars, Tom Le Masurier, Craig Bartlett, Craig Burnett, Mark Matthews, Jonny Bowles, Duncan Foster, Jermaine Marston and Tom Ray Please recycle.

for winning Manager’s Player and Player’s Player awards for the season. You all thoroughly deserve it. Congratulations also go to Karl Hodges, who finished as the club’s top goal scorer this year with ten goals and also winning B.U.A.F.C Fresher of the Year. Massive congratulations must go to Jack Martin, who won Most Improved Player. Finally, the highest accolade, B.U.A.F.C Player of the Year, was awarded to Sam Watts, who made the step up to the first team this year and put in several quality performances, scoring three goals in the process as well as being given the captaincy halfway through the season. On reflection of the 2011/12

year, I can safely say that the club is on the rise again. Our club has spent too much time in the shadows in recent years but the club is pushing forward; with another year like this, the club can certainly expect to achieve great things in the future. I have loved being Chairman and everything that goes with it and am extremely proud to be part of the fine traditions that B.U.A.F.C has. I am leaving the club in safe hands to Charlie O’Neill, who I know will do a cracking job as Chairman. I wish you all a great summer and for those graduating, I wish you all the best in the future. Who are we...??

Issue 8 2011/12