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Mar 2012 Issue 7

Brunel Sports Tour shakeup

March 2012 - Le Nurb


Eddie Izzard visits Brunel


Kony versus social media

08 ARTS & REVIEWS Our verdict on Rock of Ages


The latest from Brunel Rowing

Sophie Hoseason Amy Blackford Brunel tour reps have been informed that tour to Croatia has been switched to last year’s destination, Lloret de Mar. An email sent to all tourgoers by tour company SportsVest said: “Due to circumstances out of our control, SportsVest Croatia 2012 will be relocated to Lloret de Mar, Spain.” It continued: “It has recently come to our attention that the accommodation available for the event is not currently fit for purpose. Other venues have been explored, however, in the best interest of all passengers, we have no other option but to move

the event to our sister site.” Some Brunel students have dropped out as a result. The Student Activities team should be commended for the way in which they have handled the situation, as it was an unavoidable change. Special mention going to James Abbott and Peter Brooks. Brunel University Women’s Hockey social secretary Charlie Males was one of many who were particularly annoyed at the last minute change in destination. She said: “It was devastating news at first, but after a few old tour stories were told and the prospect of meeting Don again, I was on board and ready to go:


TOUR TOUR TOUR!” Whilst the news was mainly negatively received, the majority of tourgoers have adapted to the recent change and appear optimistic. Secondyear Journalism student Eleanor Perkins said: “I was pretty annoyed at first, Croatia just sounded so much better and I’d heard quite few negative things about Lloret but still I guess tour is what we all choose to make of it.” The Lloret de Mar destination proved unpopular with a few tour goers last year. The lack of competitions for some clubs, namely Dance, and the

unreasonable travel time to sports facilities produced a negative response upon arrival. Tourgoers, however, have remained full of hope that this blip will not ruin their visit. Another student spoke of her optimism and initial disappointment upon her last Brunel sports tour. Final year Finance and Accounting student Sarah-Louise Lordan said: “at first I didn’t want to go back but after being persuaded by the freshers, and by looking back at last year’s photos, I was in! Sportsvest had better not disappoint!” Brunel leaves for Lloret de Mar on March 31.

22 PLUS...


This year’s Spring Elections: the results and a recap.


Student-Led Teaching Awards: the nominations revealed!


Apply to join the Le Nurb team from September!

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March 2012 - Le Nurb WELCOME TO ISSUE 7


This Month... 03

Amy Blackford Editor Happy Easter, everyone! Hands up: who can’t wait for the term break? I, for one, will be fully enjoying the time off, probably recovering from Tour. As tour rep for Women’s Hockey, I can say that the ladies shall all be in for a delightful treat and have spent my time procrastinating from my dissertation well. Goody bags have been ordered and coach activities sorted; I just want to get there now. A big hand has to go to all the tour reps, and James and Peter from Student Activities, for all the hard work that has gone into planning this year’s annual sports tour. In other news, applications will soon open for the UBS Student Media exec teams. Keep an eye on for the applications that go live on April 2. Got any questions about joining the Le Nurb team next year? Pop me an email and I’ll happily respond. Make sure you get involved, it was definitely one of the best decisions that I have made during my time at the Bru. With Varsity approaching, the rivalry has been fuelled by the recent promo that Brunel made. With over 4,000 views in a week and unsportsmanlike comments from our Varsity rivals, I’m pretty sure we’ve got them running scared. If you can, go and support our guys and girls at St. Mary’s from the sidelines. Radio Brunel will be providing coverage throughout the day, so there’s no excuse even if you can’t make it! The most important thing to remember at this time of the year is to just relax! I know that is something that I am guilty of not doing. Remember there are loads of services available at Brunel if you are struggling. Keep calm and embrace the time you still have left here as, take it from me, it flies so quickly. Finally, Contact applications are now live! Did you see the pink and green t-shirts this Freshers’ Week? Was someone particularly helpful to you? Want to pay that back by volunteering in the role? Then apply! It was honestly one of the best things that I did. Sure, it’s hard, but its more than worth it when people remember you for helping them settle in to a daunting new environment. Just remember, the role is more than just a free t-shirt!

Issue 8 out May 21

The Team


What’s new on campus this month


ARTS & REVIEWS Reviews and arts











Election results and SLTA nominations

KONY 2012, horror and politics

Puzzles and horoscopes

Even more Brunel success

This month’s team question... was forgotten about. EDITORIAL Editor Amy Blackford Deputy Editor Ben Moxey Chief Designer Rob Hunt Chief Sub-Editor Katrina Muhly Media Chair Tom Scott NEWS

Apply for next year’s Le Nurb team!


News Editor Bess Browning Sub Editor Adam Martley Designer James Squire

Simply put, if you’re a current Brunel student, you can write for Le Nurb. There’s a few things to bear in mind:



Features Editor Emma Butcher Sub Editor Sharna Lee Heir Staff Writers Hayley Baldwin Devina Sanghani Alec Beeson Rhys Morgan-Jones Charlotte Bale

- Your article should be saved as a Word document (.doc or .docx). - Its filename should contain your name, student number, and a suggested headline. - We don’t accept PDF, Works (.wps), OpenOffice (.odt), Pages (.pages) or other formats. - Publisher files (.pub) are particularly horrific, beastly things. Please don’t send any, ever, or Rob will cry. - It may sound obvious, but please run a spellcheck before you submit your article! YOUR IMAGES

- For a Union News or Features article, don’t forget your headshot for use in the byline. - If you like, you can suggest specific images for your article. They’ll need to be separate .jpg or .png files. - Don’t embed your images into the article document - this compresses them too much for use on the page. - Any image filenames and image credits (who the photographer is) should be listed at the end of your article. - Images you submit must not be copyrighted by another individual or organisation. - Please don’t just nick pictures off Google Image Search; we can’t use them 99% of the time! YOUR CONTACTS

Enquiries, advertising & complaints Design queries and feedback News articles In-depth articles on a given topic Reviews and arts articles Everything sport-related

Amy - Rob - via (‘Design Feedback’ in the subject line) Bess - Emma - Nick - Ollie & Alex -


It’s your last chance for submissions! The closing date for articles for our final issue is Monday, May 7.

ARTS & REVIEWS Arts & Reviews Editor Nick Birss Sub Editor Jon Partridge Staff Writers Emma I’Anson Subat Bashir Chrissie Gomez Ricky Compton Lewis Sluman Matt Smith Daisy Adamson SPORT

More from Le Nurb http://

Sport Editors Ollie de Kretser Alex Mitchell Sub Editor Paul Round Designer Jo Barnard PHOTOGRAPHY




We’ve moved on Facebook, and are now sharing a page with Radio Brunel. Search ‘UBS Student Media’ for all the latest updates. We’re also on Twitter: @ubsstudentmedia.

This major update brings the mostrequested feature - student media integration - to the UBS apps! See what else is new and download for free at

For more Le Nurb information, including a back issue archive and full submission guidelines, take a look at our updated minisite

Advertising Le Nurb is distributed eight times a year, across campus, to a network of 15,000 students. We offer great rates to advertisers, plus discounts for on-campus clubs, societies and organisations. Find out more at or via the Editor. To book an advertising slot, call Bonnie Crate on 01895 267215. The deadline for inclusion in our last edition, issue 8, is Monday, May 7.

Lead Photographer Adil Khan Deshmukh

YOUR NAME HERE! To find out how to join the team next year, see page 12.

All articles and pictures © their respective authors unless otherwise indicated. Views expressed are those of the writers and do not reflect the official position of UBS or Brunel University. All comments and complaints about content in Le Nurb should be addressed to the Editor in the first instance: Complaints will only be entertained where it can be proven that an article or graphic is: factually inaccurate; breaches the Press Complaints Commission’s Editors’ Code of Practice; breaches the National Union of Journalists’ Code of Conduct; breaks the law; or encourages readers to break the law. No complaint that fails to satisfy at least one of these criteria will be upheld. Published by: Union of Brunel Students, Kingston Lane, Uxbridge, UB8 3PH. Printed by: Harmsworth Printing Derby, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2BH.

Recycling can solve the UK’s budget crisis.

March 2012 - Le Nurb NEWS


Eddie Izzard visits Brunel Rob Pennington

Izzard is also set to recreate the ending of the Italian Job by balancing a coach on the roof of an art gallery.

Will Self joins Brunel Bess Browning ‘One of the greatest public intellectuals of this country’ has joined Brunel University, teaching students in both the School of Arts and School of Social Sciences. Will Self has been appointed as Professor of Contemporary Thought, covering subjects such as urban planning, human geography, and contemporary society. William Leahy, Head of School of Arts, had nothing but praise for his new professor: “I met Will Self maybe three or four months ago and I warmed to him immediately. He’s very keen to work in a

university, with the students, and he didn’t seem to be one of the celebrities who just swan in and out every three months – he really wants to be here, with his students.” Self has previously written eight novels and has often appeared on television discussing topical issues. He recently joined the panel on a special Question Time debating gay marriage. Speaking to Will about his new challenge lecturing at Brunel, he said: “I’m hoping to look into disciplinary projects, parachuting into different courses to bring in a different perspective. Lecturing

is novel to me. Hopefully this will give me some energy, vim and vigour. I’m looking forward to spending time with young people and I’m hoping to fire off their ideas.” Will has a love for walking and is hoping to incorporate this into his lectures. He will be involved in the public lecture series at Brunel throughout March and will be lecturing on ‘Urban Psychosis’ on the 29th. William Leahy added: “I don’t know what he’s going to do, but one thing I can guarantee, he won’t be boring. He’s not a boring man. He’s really very interesting.”

Alex Mitchell Globally renowned comedian and political activist Eddie Izzard visited Brunel on Wednesday, March 15 to talk to students about politics, marathons and his future ambitions. Speaking to a packed Lecture Centre, Eddie gave a brief talk on why he’s involved in politics and why he is supporting Labour politician Ken Livingstone in his bid to be re-elected as Mayor of London. In his opening remarks, he urged students to ensure they had their say on May 3rd saying: “Go and vote, be active, no matter what party and give a damn about yourself.” The event was arranged at short notice by Brunel Labour students, but it was still standing room only for an event that had a seemingly perfect balance of comedy and political discussion. Eddie was critical of the current Prime Minister, arguing: “David Cameron says multiculturalism

hasn’t worked, I think it has to work. I want the whole world to be a melting pot so that, eventually people on Mars will say: ‘Hey, the world’s doing well.’” Settling into his stride very quickly, he had the audience laughing throughout the entire Q&A. Asked about Ken Livingstone’s election bid, Eddie put forward the case for Ken’s fare promise to reduce all Tube fares by 7% by October 1. After focusing on current affairs and his recent past, Eddie was asked a series of questions on his political future. Admitting that he aspired to one day becoming more involved in politics, he told the audience: “I am planning to run in eight years’ time, either as Mayor of London or as an MP.” After the event, Eddie posed for photos and signed autographs before heading with his team into Uxbridge for some more campaigning. It is hoped that Eddie will return to Brunel in the future to speak to an even bigger audience.

Bess Browning

Self has said he is looking forward to lecturing those who pursue knowledge for its intrinsic value.

Research suggests a widening class gap for university graduates

Brunel University

Grace Witherden A recent study has concluded that the proportion of people from middle class backgrounds with degrees has increased twice the amount in comparison to less well-off groups. Co-author Professor Peter Elias, from Warwick University, commented that some groups felt higher education ‘was not relevant.’ The study has found only a 5% increase in degrees between children of routine and manual workers. Researchers from the Institute of Social and Economic Research analysed the backgrounds of 34,000 adults between 22 and 49. The group was split into two age ranges, and within the older Recycling will help pay your tuition fees.

group around a quarter had a degree, compared to the younger group in which over a third had a degree. The investigation concluded that the increase in people going to university was due to the rising number of students with parents who held white-collar jobs. Professor Elias said: “The findings reflect in part the restructuring of the UK economy over the last 40 years.” This can also be seen through the decline in manual occupations, leading to an increase in ‘white-collar jobs’. Professor Elias followed on to say that a need for great A-level results and the pressure this creates has also deterred working class pupils from attending

university. The rise in fees may have also dissuaded many students from poorer backgrounds. A spokeswoman from the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills said: “Institutions wanting to charge more than £6,000 will have to demonstrate annually the progress they are making to recruit more bright students from disadvantaged backgrounds.” This can include investment in school and college programmes, bursaries and scholarships, fee waivers, summer schools and other activities. These attempts will hopefully be more successful than the current methods and will increase the amount of poorer students attending university.


March 2012 - Le Nurb NEWS

Dear UCAS: Bright students starting university without writing skills ccarlstead

A study last year suggested almost half of employers have to provide lessons in reading, writing and arithmetic.

Sophie Hart Intelligent students are beginning university courses but do not know how to structure essays, due to the ‘damage’ caused by test-driven schooling, Cambridge academics warned earlier this month. Many undergraduates are struggling to compose essays in a natural style after being taught to write in a highly structured manner in order to pass exams, it was claimed. Robert Tombs, professor of history at St John’s College, Cambridge, warned that students were “drilled into writing” in a formulaic manner between the ages of 11 and 18, thus leaving them unable to articulate their ideas at degree level. David Abulafia, a professor at Gonville and Caius College, also told how extremely bright students were “grappling with difficulties that would have been inconceivable in the past,” even among their weakest classmates. Speaking at a seminar in central London in early March, Professor Tombs commented that students

are “not responding to questions in a fresh and original manner,” which he argued was “very visible and damaging” to students. At the same event, Professor Abulafia added that he was “worried about the increasing evidence that when undergraduates arrive, even at Cambridge, they don’t seem to know how to write essays.” In support of this, the former head of an exam board warned that too many students were gaining A-grades at A Level after being “taught to the test” at school. The leader of the Edexcel board for four years, Jerry Jarvis, called for reform of the grading system because top marks “no longer automatically mean top students.” Mr McIntosh, former head teacher of the London Oratory School, West London, argued that “teachers have become increasingly robotic” in sticking strictly to the prescribed curriculum, teaching children a lot of facts, “often completely out of context, simply the minimum required for whatever the next test or examination will be.”

Hillingdon’s ‘Fast cash’ website could Got Talent: and be conning students the winner is…

Rebecca Chaouch Twenty acts battled it out in the annual competition hosted by Hillingdon Council in the Compass Theatre in Ickenham. But there could be only one winner for each of the three categories. Teenage soul band Indigo High impressed the judges on February 26 and walked off with not only the prize for the ‘Groups’ category, but also the one for the most outstanding overall entry. Carlo Bardoli, Indigo High’s lead guitarist, said: “Hearing that we were the most outstanding overall entry was an overwhelming feeling, one that can’t be described by words. I hope the future is as bright for us.” Since the talent showcase, the four young members of the band have already been booked to play at venues around London, including at the O2 Arena and the Royal Festival Hall. “Hillingdon’s Got Talent was a brilliant opportunity for us (…) It

just goes to show that hard work pays off and is recognised,” added Carlo Bardoli. Eight year-old Irish dancer Alice Egan won the ‘Individuals 25 and Under’ category, and Karen Miles was chosen as the best of the ‘Over 25s’ category with her performance of Ave Maria. Beck Theatre pantomime star and judge Mark Jones said that this year’s winners “either had natural talent that shone through or they had obviously worked hard on their acts to polish them to a real performance standard … I look for both of these things when judging.” When asked what would be his advice for future contestants, he said: “No amount of rehearsal in bedrooms, garages, village halls can ever teach you as much as actually getting out there and doing it! Perform wherever you can. You learn far more from the reactions of a live audience than anything else.” Once again, Hillingdon has proved that it has got talent!

George Bowden An advice website which claims to provide students with a fast and easy way to earn extra cash could lead its users to suffer financial problems in the long term. Posting on Brunel’s Residences Facebook groups, a fictitious profile encourages students to visit the website by claiming to provide an income of £500 per week. Once you register with the site, users are greeted with a variety of ways the website claims will earn users guaranteed money. One of these, named ‘The Hidden Trick,’ advises users to sign up to its recommended online casinos and play European Roulette. A Brunel Economics student explained why he thinks games like ‘The Hidden Trick’ will not end in a plethora of wealthy students. He said: “The advice the website gives is similar to the Martingale theory. Ultimately, even with unlimited funds, a player will always land on the colour they bet on. “The website advises users to use test games without real money to trial the system which is good, but the suggestion this trick could be


The site claims the average user can earn £20 or more per hour. used for a long time on multiple websites is worrying.” Brunel student Marcus Stein also saw the posts on the Bishop and Lancaster Facebook page. He said: “I was tempted to try the advice, but decided to try some of the site’s less risky ideas first.” The website does not clearly state the odds of winning depreciate the longer users play the game. Instead, it says users should simply switch to the other recommended online casinos once they reach the £450 maximum profit. admits that users can lose money if they don’t concentrate or attempt to deviate from their instructions.

WRITE FOR US! It’s your last chance for submissions this year! Full details on page 2. Recycling thinks Katy Perry is quite a catch.

A spokesperson for Faststudentcash said: “We strive hard to help out students and can only apologise and hope any students who are out of pocket can recoup these amounts by following our other guides, glitches and offers. “Our website is funded by relevant advertising, this does include some affiliate programs just like all of the other major money sites. “In the past we’ve had emails from students who have lost money and that is obviously our last intention, however, we always respond and try to find out where the system could have failed.”

March 2012 - Le Nurb NEWS


Brunel scientific research recognised by the Queen Marufish

Daisy Adamson Research by scientists at Brunel has been recognised by the Queen. The Institute of the Environment received the Queen’s Anniversary Prize for Further and Higher Education. The award acknowledged the work by Professor in Ecotoxicology, John Sumpter, and his team into hormonedistributing chemicals. Their research shows how pollution in rivers can cause sex change in fish which can be linked to human health.

They discovered that sperm count can be affected by chemical exposure which can cause serious health problems such as cancer. Every day chemicals such as dishwasher tablets and the contraceptive pill are ineffectively removed by sewage treatment and can pass into drinking water. These chemicals, when ingested, can mimic hormones which can lead to problems with our reproductive systems. The prize credited this work due to collaboration with policy makers, regulators and industries to come up with a cost-effective

solution to the problem. It has been described as a leading example of excellence with a global impact. Professor Sumpter said: “Our health and the health of our rivers are of great importance, so we’re honoured to receive this recognition of our work at the Institute for the Environment.” The award ceremony was held at Buckingham Palace and is part of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee round of awards. The awards were presented by Her Majesty the Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh.

Professor Sumpter said the research is intended to make people think about chemicals and their effect on the environment.

To degree or not to degree, that is the question

David Michael Morris There are around 1.5 million recent graduates in the job market, an increase of 438,000 in 2011.

Simi Sagoo Official figures suggest that over a third of recent graduates are employed in low-skilled jobs. In the final quarter of 2011, 35.9% of those who had graduated from university in the previous six years occupied lowerskilled occupations, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) said. In 2001, this figure was just 26.7%. As indicated by the ONS, low-skilled jobs include waiters, bar staff, and retail assistants. President of the National Union of Students, Liam Burns, stated “these figures will understandably make grim reading for many students and graduates who see their opportunities limited…” Figures do however show that graduates still hold an advantage over non-graduates in the job market. 86% of all graduates were in jobs by October 2011,

compared with 72.3% of non-graduates. Similarly, graduates retain more earning power. In 2011, the median hourly rate of pay for all graduates aged 21 to 64 was £15.18, 70% more than the nongraduate rate. As expected, medicine and dentistry were the best-paid careers for recent graduates, with a median hourly wage of £21.29. Jobs in the arts ranked the lowest, with a median hourly rate of £12.06. Whilst the recession has particularly hit the job prospects of recent graduates, Brendan Barber, the TUC general secretary, claims that “they are still nearly 20% more likely to be in work than people without degrees. A lack of high-quality jobs has forced more graduates into lowerskilled jobs over the last decade.”

Tanya de Grunwald, founder of the website Graduate Fog, which campaigns for paid graduate internships, holds a less optimistic view, suggesting that “we must ask whether it is right that schools, politicians and universities are still urging so many young people to do a degree, when many will later discover it was not a wise investment for them.’” De Grunwald estimates that around 250,000 graduates every year undertake unpaid internships, believing that now, they no longer lead to paid jobs but instead replace them. Carl Gilleard, chief executive of the Association of Graduate Recruiters, advises graduates to have both a long-term and shortterm plan “to gain experience in the workplace and see it as a valuable stepping stone towards their longer term career goals.”

Brunel Racing meets a Monster Tired of waiting for a good night’s sleep! Ben Moxey Students and staff were treated to the roaring 100 dB sound of last year’s Brunel Racing Car, the BR-12, racing up and down campus. It was all part of the taster day on March 1, put on to woo the energy drinks giant Monster who came to campus in support with a truck, loud music and lot of free drinks. Olly Self, this year’s team manager, said, “It’s a great day and a fantastic way to bring more awareness to the project. We spend most of the summer building the car and get to race it at Silverstone and Hockenheim and this is a great way to show everyone what we can do.” The driver, Jamie Ackers, was in his element, ripping the car along

the loop road beside the pond and finishing each run off with a majestic doughnut to wow the crowds. Olly continued by saying that the day was also a chance to show off the advertising ability of the new

BR-13: “We are trying to get some big, key sponsors, in particular Monster – there’s been success with other universities working alongside other big energy drinks companies, so we want to work with the best!”

Xenia Rimmer Brunel students are furious after waiting many weeks to have tired mattresses replaced. Students living in Bishop and Lancaster halls of residence have complained of ‘extreme discomfort’ as a result of poor quality beds. The residents are unhappy with how little seems to have been done to solve the issue. Some students have been left with no choice but to purchase their own mattresses - a significant blow to their own budgets. Catherine Welford, an English student, is just one of those who has

...OR, EVEN BETTER, JOIN THE TEAM! Applications open soon. For full details, turn to page 12! Recycling thinks extra hot Nando’s is not hot enough.

taken matters into her own hands. “I’ve spent £80 on a memory foam mattress topper,” she says. “When I heard that people were waiting months for mattress replacements, I realised that I couldn’t wait that long for a decent night’s sleep.” When students first broached the issue in January, they were told that fresh mattresses had been ordered but there was a ‘delay due to weather conditions.’ However, months later, they are yet to receive their new bedding. When approached regarding the issue, accommodation officers declined to comment.



Spring Elections 2012 - the results!

Tom Scott The final hour of elections - crammed full of homemade shirts, frog umbrellas and orange trousers. I came, I saw, I didn’t get RON’d. Tom Scott In what can be described as the most chaotic and stressful week of the Union’s calendar, the Spring Elections hit campus in full force this month. In comparison to years gone by, this year’s elections were jampacked full of candidates vying for students votes. There were over 30 candidates looking to get elected with a whopping 22 people running for just four officer positions. The week filled campus with a buzz, not to mention a huge amount of paper covering every part of the Lecture Centre, and at the end of the week, a grand total

of 1,984 votes were cast. On Wednesday, March 7, the Academy was surprisingly full for a Wednesday night as candidates, friends and family gathered to hear the results. The first to be announced were the Standing Committee Chairs, with Nicole Eversfield, Tom Scott, Jamie Edwards and Cam McKirdy all being successfully elected. Sam Donaghue, Liam Wolpole and Martin Zaranyika were all elected as Student Trustees. Next were the winners of the Working Group Chairs which included Kerri Prince, Marcus Bernasconi, Miriam Bandera, Bea Lopez and Victoria Gzibovska. Finally was the announcement of the officer positions. Gary O’Brien was successfully reelected as Vice President Student Activities after a highly

energetic campaign. He said “I have to thank Team GOB (my campaign team) who worked tirelessly day in, day out for all 12 days to see my success. To see so many first years in particular show passion and knowledge I could only have dreamt of having was fantastic and bodes well for the future of our Union in years to come.” Next, in what was described as one of the closest elections in many years, James Ward was elected as Vice President Community Welfare, seeing off five other students. He said “The idea that I will be the Vice President Community Welfare for 2012/13 has not sunk in yet, and I don’t think that it will until I sit in the office and I am busy with meetings and campaigns!”

Next was the announcement of Vice President Academic Representation, with seven students running for the position. Peter Smallwood was successfully elected after a very engaging campaign. He said “In my manifesto and throughout my campaign I engaged with literally thousands of students. My team and I got over 750 signatures for my podcast petition; we spoke in almost 100 lectures, 20 club and society AGMs, and engaged with countless number of students throughout the ten allotted days of campaigning.” Finally, due to an ongoing investigation the position of President was not announced pending its results. Congratulations from Le Nurb to all candidates.

The Le Nurb Elections Awards

FULL LIST OF WINNERS President TBA VP Academic Representation Peter Smallwood VP Community Welfare James Ward VP Student Activities Gary O’Brien RAG Chair Nicole Eversfield Media Chair Tom Scott Sports Federation Chair Jamie Edwards Societies Guild Chair Cam McKirdy Campaigns Chair Kerri Prince

Unfortunately, not everyone can be a winner at the UBS Spring Elections and with over 30 candidates a lot of people were left disappointed. Nevertheless, Le Nurb likes to award candidates for their hard work and effort. For the first time ever, we present the Le Nurb Election Awards. Lets hope you’re a winner!

Best Poster: George Coombes.

Most Unique Idea: Josh Dixon and his cape.

Environmental Chair Victoria Gzibovska

Biggest Cock Up (tied): VPAR candidate Emily Cox for asking the current VPAR Craig Best for his vote without realising who he was. Also to Mohammed Khan and Danish Merchant for getting banners made up with the wrong position written on them.

Stupidest response at Question Time: Brett Halsey admits he’s never seen Transformers.

Equality & Diversity Chair Miriam Bandera

Best Campaign T-Shirt (right): Bea Lopez.

Best Viral Video: Viorel Vlad .

Best Overall Campaign: Gary O’Brien.

Best Campaign Team: Nicole Eversfield.

Cheapest Campaign: Tom, Jamie and Kerri. Quote of the Week: “I don’t think Hannah Dingle is wearing a bra!” Hard Luck Award: RON - try again next year! Recycling can solve the Ugandan crisis.

Volunteering Chair Marcus Bernasconi World Students Chair Bea Lopez Student Trustee Liam Wolpole Martin Zaranyika Sam Donaghue



Recycling doesn’t need Lynx or Old Spice to attract a mate.



March 2012 - Le Nurb FEATURES

KONY 2012: social media’s phenomenal response Student who loves coffee, cats and Sundays. Nadia Henderson As one of the millions of people in the UK with a Facebook account, I followed my daily routine yesterday morning like any other: made a cup of coffee, threw together a quick breakfast and sat down at my laptop to catch up with my online affairs. So too, then, like many other users, I logged on to discover that my news feed had been flooded by posts, shares and statuses all relating to one thing: KONY 2012. Scrolling down the page, it soon became apparent that whatever this was about, people really cared. Dozens of the same video had been shared, accompanied with statuses which varied from a simple “watch this now” to fullon paragraphs urging viewers to

“think about what kind of person” they are. Whatever the content of this video, it had clearly evoked some strong emotions in those who had seen it. The story was the same on Twitter – the world over, #KONY2012 and #stopkony were trending like nobody’s business. A quick Google later and this social media frenzy had been decoded. Non-profit organisation Invisible Children had released a half-hour long video highlighting the atrocities committed by Joseph Kony, leader of the Ugandan guerrilla group, the Lord’s Resistance Army. Wanted for war crimes, and believed to have enslaved over 60,000 children to fight as part of his group’s regime, Kony has eluded authorities and evaded capture on several occasions. No doubt about it: a despicable man responsible for unimaginable evils, who needs catching and punishing as soon

as possible. However, despite the campaign’s efforts to raise awareness of the terrible situation in Uganda, it was the founders of Invisible Children who found themselves at the centre of the storm. For every post instructing that I watch the short film and lend my support (and donate my money) to their cause, there was another one warning that Invisible Children was not what it seemed. Within hours, screenshots of their financial records had been leaked, showing that between the three founders, the majority of the money they raise is spent on travel, wages and advertising. By the end of the day, the video had gone viral and a full-blown online debate had been sparked. If we’d learnt one thing, it was that the power of social media is something of a phenomenon. As yet, I haven’t watched the video, and no amount of

KONY 2012

moralizing statuses will get me to. It’s not because I don’t think it’s a cause worth my support, and in my own time I will watch it. Admittedly, not everyone who posted the video felt it was appropriate to subtly accuse me of being a bad person if I didn’t share it; some simply advised that it gave voice to a severely under-publicised horror. Regardless of Invisible Children’s questionable credentials, their bringing to light of this issue is admirable. But I think it’s terribly sad that it takes a viral campaign for people to decide to take notice of something that has been a problem for decades. While I’m effectively being told that my lack of social engagement with this campaign suggests I’m apathetic towards its cause, I have to wonder: do these bandwagon posters feel as passionately about the issues of forced child marriages in India,

Racism? I don’t think so Nadia Ahmed Today I overheard a conversation where a young man claimed that people are hostile towards him because of his race. What utter bollocks. Did he ever stop to think that the reason why people might show hostility towards him is because he dresses and speaks like a half-wit? This has nothing to do with racism – or class, for that matter. The rise of the ‘ghetto wannabe’ is an unfortunate trend of the current generation and is nothing short of cringe-worthy when properly schooled people with respectable backgrounds try to give the impression they are not by speaking and dressing poorly. In my opinion it all boils down to self-respect. If ghetto-wannabes

dressed well, spoke properly and had good posture I can pretty much guarantee that hostility would vanish. Why? Because doing so shows you have respect for yourself and that is what gets other people to respect you. As if to prove my point a few years ago Japanese snowboarder, Kazuhiro Kokubo, was banned from attending a Winter Olympics ceremony because he was seen with his tie loosened, shirt hanging out and his trousers worn low off the hips at Tokyo and Vancouver airports. Were they right to ban him? Of course they were, he was a representative of his country at a major sporting event and should at the very least look presentable. But there is a bigger question to be asked: Why is ghetto

culture so fashionable? Since when was walking like you have rickets and talking with a severe speech impediment deemed as fashionable; 50 years ago they’d probably have been seen as borderline special needs. A friend of mine replied to my question with sound reasoning, ‘coz it shows you’re a man like the scars shows you’ve been to war and had to fight like.’ Ironically, people who have faced such adversity are often ashamed of it, yet with youth it seems to be a glorified symbol of manhood. I believe young men should live by this philosophy. I know you can fight, but it’s our wits that make us men.

Recycling can read every single book in the law library in 24 hours flat.

the trafficking of vulnerable women to the UK to work as prostitutes, or the oppression of an entire people in North Korea? I’m sure many of them do, but it is far easier to lend your support to a cause that requires simply the click of a mouse or the insertion of a hashtag. I wish the campaign every success in its cause and, like every other decent person, I hope for the swift capture of Joseph Kony. I am a thoughtful, politically aware individual, and as soon as I’m done being a flat broke student, I’ll be regularly donating to a charity of my choice. But for now, I’d much rather form my own opinions on topical issues without being guilt-tripped by fellow Facebook users who’re most likely all too ignorant of other international atrocities which remain unreported, obscure and further than a 30-minute film away.

Oregon Dot

March 2012 - Le Nurb FEATURES

Work experience is worth it! Max Serjeant If you are a student here at Brunel, there is a good chance you will have the opportunity to do a placement of some sort. You might be wondering whether it is worth doing, as unless you are lucky enough to find a paid internship, you will probably have to fund it yourself - and it will mean a long time away from the friends you have made here at Brunel. Having just returned from a three-month placement, I can tell you there are many reasons why you should do it, both in terms of work experience and personal development. I am a second year anthropology student with a vague idea of getting into work with NGO’s (non-governmental organisations) when I finish university. I have to admit, this means my experience of doing a placement was not the typical experience that, for example, a psychology student might have; I

spent mine in a slum in Colombia. I do, however, think some of my experiences are relevant to all placements. I arrived in the capital city of Colombia in early September, and with one day to spare before my placement started, I had a look around. As I reached the main square of the city I was greeted by not one, but three separate protests taking place, all threatening to turn into riots at any point. The biggest one was milling around outside the congress building and occasionally rushing towards the doors as if to storm it. A line of riot police complete with tear gas and a few shotguns tried to block them off. I already knew I was going to love Colombia. The next day I was on a bus going to the town of Ibague to start my placement. I won’t lie; it was incredibly daunting at first. I was working in a foundation that helped to educate and

feed the local children. This was something I had no experience of and I was really out of my depth initially. Add to that my poor Spanish and the whole experience of being thrown into a situation full of people I didn’t know, I was starting to wonder what I had put myself up for. Within a week these problems were forgotten though, and I was having a great time. Most of my days consisted of a morning session, helping the children with homework or helping them learn English, and then setting up and serving lunch. This was the most tiring part of the day, with 110 children being fed three courses in just over an hour. After eating and a short break, it was time for the afternoon session. This meant going to one of the other centres, usually to help with academic work or English. Sometimes we would take the kids to the park and play football, which was always a fun way to spend the afternoon.

It was hard work and long hours, but it was also an informal and relaxed environment, and the people I worked with were fun and interesting. During the weekends we would visit nearby towns, cities and other tourist attractions which was a great way to relax after the week’s work. Highlights included partying in the crazy city of Cali and trekking through jungle to swim in waterfalls. After I had finished my placement, I spent another month and a half travelling around and getting to know the country. The great thing was that through my work in the foundation, I had links to locals and really got to see the country in a way that the average backpacker doesn’t. The whole experience was one of the best things I’ve ever done and I will be friends with some of the people I met there for life. Over the course of my placement, I learned so much.


I’ve acquired many new skills that will be relevant to my future career, as well as more general ones that can be applied to all aspects of life. I put myself in a situation where I was well outside my comfort zone and proved to myself I could overcome the challenge. All this, while having an amazing experience in a great country, surrounded by equally great people. If you are unsure as to whether to do a placement, my advice is to go for it; the benefits are huge! You will learn a lot and employers will really value you having some practical experience. It shows you are serious about your subject and can really make you stand out as someone worth hiring, especially in the current economic climate where competition for jobs is fierce. If nothing else, it can be exciting, fun and help you to meet interesting new people.

Student health English and Creative Writing student who loves to shop ‘til sunset and party ‘til sunrise! Hayley Baldwin Channel 4’s Supersize vs. Superskinny is back on our television screens, broadcasting to the nation how unhealthy Britain’s relationship with food is. According to the show, “experts predict that by 2020 a third of adults in the UK will be obese.” I watch this show religiously, and am not surprised when I see a student participant who is ‘supersized.’ When I started university I was constantly asked if I lived off pizzas and Pot Noodles. Being a health freak, the answer was of course not. However, if I were ‘living’ off such a diet, the term ‘surviving’ seems more appropriate. The high fat, salt content and overall crap in ready meals and fast food may taste good, but if consumed for a lengthy amount of time, this food will literally become ‘to die for.’ But as students, we are a clever bunch and know all this already. So why do some of us constantly eat what we know is bad for us? It could be because you cannot resist the smell of pastry luring you in, or the feeling of chocolate melting on your tongue. On the other hand it could be because it is quick and convenient to dash to Prontos after a late session at the library. But as far as I’m concerned, there is no excuse to eating unhealthily, so if you are guilty of neglecting your body, put down the pork pie, and listen. The benefits of healthy eating are regurgitated more often than the meat in a Tesco Value sausage, but here are the ones that are crucial to students. Motivation: According to Livestrong, a poor diet will make

Martin Cathrae Eat smart, think smart. you lethargic, meaning your studies will suffer as you will not feel motivated to work. Consume Omega-3: Foods rich in Omega-3 improve mental clarity, so think of healthy food as not just essential to your diet, but also your degree. Salmon, cod, walnuts and mustard seeds are just a few foods high in Omega-3.

– hence why we can eat like horses when hungover. Water will flush out toxins from fatty foods, and rehydrate your body after all those salty snacks. We also have to stare at screens and read a staggering amount on our courses, so Vision Express advise drinking water to keep our eyes hydrated.

Eat nutrients: It’s fair to say the majority of us drink well over the recommended alcohol intake on a weekly basis, so instead of loading your body up with greasy rubbish the morning after, give it a hand, and pack some nutrients down your pipe. Foods proven to help with hangovers include bananas, eggs, and foods high in vitamin C like strawberries, broccoli and peppers.

Don’t skip meals: Sainsbury’s conducted a survey back in 2001 and found “87% of 16 to 24-yearolds said they skipped at least one meal a day,” and the most popular meal to miss was breakfast. Studies have shown that people who have eaten breakfast perform much better than those who skipped it. So make sure you start your day with a healthy breakfast, plus those mid-morning sugar cravings you get from lack of energy will also be prevented.

Drink plenty of water: A lot of the time when we think we are hungry we are actually dehydrated

Vegetables are cheap! Health aside, there are no excuses for saying you cannot afford to

eat well, especially from the Unifuit market that is on campus every Tuesday. Although not everyone has the time to cook healthy meals every night, this is no excuse to eat rubbish. On the nights you do have time to cook, make a larger amount of food so you can freeze individual portions. You can defrost and serve up spaghetti Bolognese quicker than ordering a takeaway, or shoving a pizza in the oven. However, sometimes when we try to eat healthier, we are tricked by food companies selling their seemingly-healthy-but-secretlyfattening foods. So unsurprisingly, people blame companies such as Nando’s for Britain becoming Europe’s fattest country - whose salads have more fat and calories than a chicken burger - and Starbucks - whose ‘skinny’ lemon and poppyseed muffin contains more calories than an apple and cinnamon muffin. But now

Recycling doesn’t like Queen, or the Queen, we’re not sure which.

nutritional information is displayed on most packaging, and many restaurants are offering lower calorie meals, like Pizza Express and Prezzo. When eating a healthy diet, a great rule to stick to is the 80/20 rule. This is eating healthy 80% of the time, and indulging 20% of the time, so you are not depriving yourself. Treats are called treats because you should not have them every day, so by sticking to this principle, your body will become healthier, but you can still eat the foods you love every now and then. Yes, this requires motivation and self-control, but you have to earn your good health and fabulous body. It will not happen on its own. Food should be a pleasure, not a poison; so eat healthily and give your body what it needs to power your precious brain. Remember it is your body, and you only get one so look after it!


March 2012 - Le Nurb FEATURES

A history of horror PART 1 Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. Aaron Brown The Woman In Black was recently named the UK box office’s highest grossing British horror film overtaking classics such as Shaun of the Dead and 28 Days Later. This proves that the appeal of the horror films are strong enough to draw in large crowds to the cinema, just as it has been doing since the late 19th century. Horror is nothing new, and in this two-part feature I will be revisit some of the most shocking, controversial and frightening offerings from this terrifying genre - including an onscreen castration, a stabbing in the shower and a human centipede. Proceed with caution... Beginnings of a Genre The first horror film was the 1896 silent movie The Haunted Castle by French film pioneer George Méliès. During its short three-minute running time, the film managed to feature a vampire, ghosts, demons and witches and started a genre of film which remains popular and profitable today. A horror film is the cinematic equivalent of a roller coaster, with the audience being put through interminable suspense by sudden reveals, music, and shocking visuals. The aim is to scare and this is something that Hollywood has been very good at doing throughout the

last century. Silent horror films were a hit throughout the 1920s with adaptions of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and the infamous Nosferatu drawing in fans to the cinemas. These films used a traditional and gothic approach to horror, featuring castles, churches and graveyards; however, filming in black and white meant that the use of dim-lighting and shadows - a now clichéd technique in horror was impossible and the films from this era take place almost entirely in broad daylight. Unlike the modern horror-savvy cinema fanatics, this terrified people in the 1920s introduced audiences to the appeal of feature-length horror films. The foray into the genre taught directors techniques that are still used today. Universal Pictures was the first studio to begin launching big-budget fear-inducing flicks with sound in the early period of talkies. 1931 saw the release of Dracula and Frankenstein and soon other studios were copying the craze - studio MGM released the controversial film Freaks which followed a group of circus performers and cast actors with real deformities. In a test screening one woman threatened to sue the studio. She claimed that the horrific content had caused her to have a miscarriage. Whether this was medically accurate or not was not considered and, as a result, MGM cut numerous graphic scenes from the film. This included one particular sequence depicting the circus’ strongman, Hercules, being

castrated by other performers. The film was banned in Great Britain and was not released for 30 years - one of the longest bans in film history and making The Human Centipede 2 look very timid. Controversy and horror films often go hand-in-hand, and in the 1960s it was from Britain that the most important and shocking advances in the genre were to be made. The infamous production company Hammer has been synonymous with horror since its creation in 1934; however, it wasn’t until the 1960s that the company consolidated their reputation. Their films, mostly gothic, featured Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee and drew on the precedents laid down by Universal Studios’ early efforts. It was during this period that a British director shocked audiences and inadvertently created a subgenre of horror when he released the film Psycho. Alfred Hitchcock is credited with creating the first ‘slasher’ movie when he released Psycho in 1960. The film centered around Marion Crane, who travels to a secluded motel after stealing money from her employer, and the motel’s disturbed manager: the nowinfamous Norman Bates. Initially, the film was panned by critics, but the public’s response and sales figures forced re-reviews to be printed which praised the movie - claiming that it “keeps your attention like a snake-charmer” (Janet Leigh). Psycho remains a culturally significant film: the most influential and recognisable sequence is the ‘shower scene’

which is still frequently spoofed, paid homage to and referenced in popular culture. Psycho spawned three sequels and a remake, but more importantly introduced the world to a genre which would scare and shock audiences with films such as Piranha 3D, Wrong Turn, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream. After early ventures such as Freaks and Psycho, directors experimented with new methods to try and disturb cinema-goers. George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead was a cult, black and white film from 1968 which was heavily criticized because of its explicit content. Variety magazine called the zombieinfested horror flick, an “unrelieved orgy of sadism.” By today’s standards this gory, lowbudget film appears tame, and as a result modern directors work very hard to keep the scares and shocks as terrifying as they were in 1896.

In Part 2 (to be published in the next issue of Le Nurb) modern horror films will be the subject, leaving behind black and white and exploring cult classics such as The Exorcist, Nightmare on Elm Street and Silence of the Lambs as well as new, upcoming horror to be released in 2012.

The race to the White House I have been here too damn long. Ben Moxey This year is quite busy. There is an Olympic Games in jolly London town, a football tournament in Poland and Ukraine, and the brilliantly named “Curiosity Rover” will land on Mars to confirm that Mars is a planet that we have absolutely no business going to, especially as we haven’t finished humping this one into oblivion yet. But none of those matter. At all. Because 2012 brings with it a US Presidential Election! Yay! For the readers who were too young to remember the previous election in 2008, in which Barack Obama swept into the White House, thus ending poverty and racism the world over, I will recap. The Democrats whittled down their nominees pretty early on ending up with a straight fight between Hillary Clinton and Obama. The Republicans had a good collection of crazy bastards, with Mitt Romney, Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee all pushing for the job. Rudy Giuliani wanted the gig but was unable to run a budget correctly and had to pull out, citing a $3.6 million debt on his campaign. In the end, the nomination went to John McCain, a liberal-ish, former

Vietnam POW and a sound thinker. The Republicans decided to partner him with the Mayor of Crazytown, Sarah Palin, a woman so mad she makes a man who dresses in the skin of his victims seem pleasant and approachable. Needless to say that America decided that with a 70 year old in the hot-seat and a genuine nut-job as his VP, the public thought that Obama was the correct choice to lead America to a new age. Run forward four years and what has changed? Well, we are all now a lot poorer, North Africa is less run by despotic arseholes and bin Laden is deado. But who will be the leader of the country soon to be known as New China? Once again, it’s a twohorse race between the Republicans and the Democrats with a lame pony of Independents. Neither of the big nominations is sewn up, and both have had a truly epic lineup of tossers clamouring for the nominations. First, the Democrats: obviously Obama will be the nominee and the eventual President, and you might think that would halt the competition? No, it just makes it all the more exciting. Randall Terry was the most ‘normal’ of the candidates if you can use that about a man who wished to run an advert during the Super Bowl featuring pictures of unborn, aborted foetuses. Then there was Jim Rogers, the international man of mystery who refuses to

talk to the press and abstains from all debates. Finally is a candidate named ‘Vermin Love Supreme’. He is well known for his bushy grey beard and for his fondness for wearing a wellington boot on his head. If he is elected he will make it illegal for citizens not to brush their teeth. He also campaigns on a platform of zombie apocalypse awareness and even promises a free pony for all Americans if elected. Frankly, how can America not elect him? He even glitter-bombed opponent Randall Terry in a Democratic Forum in December claiming that “Jesus told him to turn Terry gay”. America has had a black President; that is old. Now it is time for the next step, the first certifiable President. Not to be outdone, the Republicans have also fielded a team of no-hopers and lunatics. The five main contenders going into the fight were Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Rick Santorum and John Huntsman. We will come to them in a few moments. Firstly, let’s look at the oddballs who didn’t make it: Rick Perry: This man looks more comfortable in a cowboy hat than a Senator’s suit and is described as a ‘turbo-Bush’, which is a terrifying prospect. He released a video before Christmas stating that there was “something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the

military, and your kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas”, all said while wearing the same clothes as Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain. In addition, he reportedly owns a hunting camp called “Niggerhead”. Herman Cain: The owner of Goodfella’s Pizza decided to run for President forgetting, or perhaps hoping that no-one would notice, his many sexual misconduct rulings in which several former female employees of his filed for sexual assault or just simple lechery. He disappeared quickly. Michele Bachmann: The plasticfaced Tea Party candidate from Minnesota was outstanding from first to last. She claimed the HPV vaccine caused mental retardation, that there was a correlation between Democratic Presidents and the swine flu outbreak and even supported (briefly) a pledge urging Americans to honour marriage that continued the unfortunate lines: “Slavery had a disastrous impact on AfricanAmerican families, yet […] a child born into slavery is more likely to be raised in a two-parent household than an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President”. She is also married to a man who runs a clinic that ‘cures men of their homosexuality’. Great.

Recycling can make Rebecca Black shut up.

As for the main candidates, Santorum was sunk by poor fundraising and that the belief that the repeal of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was encouraging gay sex in the military and gay marriage would lead to polygamy. Then Paul fell by the wayside after newsletter from 2008 surfaced in which he called “95% of all black males [in DC] are criminals or semi-criminal”. Then there were three. Gingrich, a man who divorced two women whilst they received treatment for cancer and MS respectively; Romney who is so rich it hurts to think about and Huntsman, a truly Liberal reformer who is fluent in Mandarin from his time as Ambassador to China. For this reason alone, no Republican would ever elect him so he dropped out. And so we reside in a two-horse race to see who will come second to Obama on December 17. Until then, it will just be a fight to the death about who can fling the most poop at each other, like a couple of vivisection Bonobo chimps, but in expensive suits, with the sole aim to smear the opponent so much that in the end it is irrelevant who wins, everyone will be filthy, tired and no-one will want to talk to them again. Isn’t democracy great?


21st - 25th May 2012 Make your last week at University memorable Even though it seems a distant dream, one day exams will be over. What better way to celebrate than take part in F.A.C.E.? F.A.C.E is the acronym for the Festival of Awareness and Creative Expression. It was conceived by second year students as an opportunity to celebrate Brunel’s talented students and have fun during the last week of term. This year we are searching for enthusiastic students across Brunel to bring their creative ideas to us, so we (at the Union) can make them happen! So why wait? Take a break from revision and send your idea to Mariana at Keep up to date:

Recycling overhears everything at Brunel.



March 2012 - Le Nurb CENTRESPREAD | LE NURB 2012/13

By just picking up this issue of Le Nurb, you’ve already taken a huge step towards becoming a member of the team for next year. Le Nurb is run by students for the students and we are looking for a number of energetic and dedicated individuals to help run the student newspaper. The team this year come from a huge variety of backgrounds, from studying journalism and English to engineering. Anyone can become a member of our team. We are looking for passion, energy and dedication. Becoming a part of the student newspaper is an excellent stepping stone for those who are looking for a career in media but it is also an excellent way of distracting yourself from your studies and throwing your energy into a project that changes each and every month. It is an excellent commodity to add to your CV and portfolio. I can speak from experience that being a part of Le Nurb is such an amazing opportunity. Getting to work with this year’s team has been an absolute joy. The dynamic within the team is always fantastic and being a part of Le Nurb means a lot to everyone on the team. There are so many ways for you to get involved. This can be from being one of our four section editors, covering news, features, arts & reviews or sport, all the way to being a regular contributor. There is something for everyone and we try to include as many students as possible. Even if you aren’t successful with your application, our team will try to find a way for you to be involved. There is also the chance to become one of our sub-editors. If you can notice any mistakes throughout this paper, then this position is for you. We look for people to check for mistakes because there are always loads. There is also the new inclusion of an online editor. Le Nurb will soon be going online and will be a reality and we are looking for people to help run it. Every single person involved in Le Nurb is just as important as the next and being a part of this team is always a highlight for every single member of the team. All I will say is this. Take a look through the positions, and if you see something that you think you could do, get involved. This is your chance to be a part of Le Nurb and really engage with Brunel and its students. Tom Scott Media Chair

le nrub



Fix this. 8 All positions on th e Le Nurb team are vo luntary and are designed to fit around your st udies. 8 Candidates need to be dedicated and avai la ble throug hout the next acad emic year. 8 Candidates mus t be a team player, wor k well with others and mus t have a sens e of humour. 8 Candidates should have a good unders ta nding of the English language and kn ow about spelling and grammar. 8 No previous expe rience is need ed but it certainly helps. ; Unfortunately th is is not a graduate job, so you may only apply if you are a Brun el st ud ent next year . Recycling takes pity on RON.


your turn... NEWS SECTION EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for the News section of Le Nurb. The news editor must gather, organise and write news articles that are relevant to Brunel and its students. The news editor must also organise and work with a team of writers over the course of the year. Above all, the news editor needs to ensure that all articles are interesting to all Le Nurb readers. Candidates must demonstrate knowledge of spotting and sourcing news stories that are relevant and interesting to Brunel students, as well as ensuring they are fair and unbiased. FEATURES SECTION EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for the Features section of Le Nurb. The features editor must gather, organise and write features articles that are interesting, engaging and relevant to Brunel and its students. The features editor must also organise and work with a team of writers over the course of the year. The features editor needs to ensure that articles are covering major worldwide events that effect students and that students will have an interest in. Candidates must demonstrate knowledge of what makes a good and interesting feature. ARTS & REVIEWS SECTION EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for the Arts & Reviews section of Le Nurb. The arts & reviews editor must gather, organise and write articles that are interesting, engaging and relevant to Brunel and its students. This covers several areas including music, film, television, theatre and more. The arts & reviews editor must also organise and work with a team of writers over the course of the year. The arts & reviews editor needs to ensure that articles are covering relevant events that students will have an interest in. Candidates must demonstrate knowledge of all areas that the arts & reviews section covers, as well as the ability to know what makes a good and interesting review. SPORT SECTION EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for the sports section of Le Nurb. The sports section editor must gather, organise and write articles that are interesting and engaging and cover a wide range of Brunel sport. The sports section editor needs to work with all Brunel sports clubs to report on all sports activities and results. The sports section editor needs to ensure that articles are relevant. Candidates must demonstrate knowledge of sports writing and what makes an interesting sports report. ONLINE SECTION EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for the new development of the Le Nurb website. As is currently in development, the online editor will be responsible for gathering and updating the website with content on a frequent basis. The online editor will work with all other section editors and their relevant writing teams to keep the website updated, interesting, informative and entertaining. Candidates must demonstrate knowledge of how an online news website functions as well as how to keep it updated.


March 2012 - Le Nurb CENTRESPREAD | LE NURB 2012/13

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CHIEF SUB-EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for the subbing of all articles that go into each issue of Le Nurb. The Chief Sub Editor will work with all section editors and a team of sub-editors to ensure that all content is both spelt and grammatically correct. The Chief Sub-Editor must also ensure that all content is factually and legally correct. Candidates must demonstrate an excellent understanding of the English language and have an excellent attention to detail.


NEWS SECTION SUB-EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for subbing all the articles within the News section of Le Nurb. The sub-editor will work with both the Chief Sub Editor and the News Section editor in ensuring that all content is produced in a timely manner and is grammatically correct, as well as legally and factually correct. Candidates must demonstrate a good understanding of the English language and have a good attention to detail. -

FEATURES SECTION SUB-EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for subbing all the articles within the Features section of Le Nurb. The subeditor will work with both the Chief Sub Editor and the Features Section editor in ensuring that all content is produced in a timely manner and is grammatically correct, as well as legally and factually correct. Candidates must demonstrate a good understanding of the English language and have a good attention to detail. ARTS & REVIEWS SECTION SUB-EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for subbing all the articles within the Arts & Reviews section of Le Nurb. The sub-editor will work with both the Chief Sub Editor and the Arts & Reviews Section editor in ensuring that all content is produced in a timely manner and is grammatically correct, as well as legally and factually correct. Candidates must demonstrate a good understanding of the English language and have a good attention to detail.


SPORT SECTION SUB-EDITOR The person with this role is responsible for subbing all the articles within the Sport section of Le Nurb. The sub-editor will work with both the Chief Sub Editor and the Sport Section editor in ensuring that all content is produced in a timely manner and is grammatically correct, as well as legally and factually correct. Candidates must demonstrate a good understanding of the English language and have a good attention to detail.

CHIEF DESIGNER The person with this role is responsible for the overall design, layout and branding of Le Nurb. The chief designer must work with the editor to decide on the publicationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s visual design, and with the design team to produce a consistent, standardised publication. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll also be responsible for compiling the finished issue, squashing design problems, and exporting it for printing. Great attention to detail and previous experience using Adobe InDesign is essential for this role. Photoshop knowledge is a plus, too. DESIGNER The person with this role is responsible for the designing of a specific section of Le Nurb. The designer must work with a specific section editor (News, Features, Arts & Reviews or Sport) and ensure that all relevant content is featured. The designer is also responsible for the layout of their specific section, and may work on artwork for other sections, Centrespread graphics, etc. Previous experience using Adobe InDesign and Photoshop preferred. There are six designer positions available.

Apply via from April 2. ...or to find out more, email us using the addresses on page 2. Applications close on May 2.

Recycling is the one thing that Chuck Norris respects.



March 2012 - Le Nurb ADVERTISEMENT | THE ARC

This month’s ARC updates...

Smile, you’re on camera! I am sure we have all noticed CCTV cameras on our campus. Perhaps some of you had passionate discussions about the dark side of the Big Brother watching you, versus the “if you haven’t done anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about” approach. Leaving this interesting issue aside for a moment, let’s see what is the University’s policy with regarding to CCTV and most importantly, how this could potentially affect you. The policy can be found on the University’s website: Home » About» Policy and Regulations» » Information Access» Data Protection» Policies and Guidelines. It will be worth your while to have a look at this section of the University’s website; those policies and regulations affect every aspects of your life whilst you are a Brunel student. As you can immediately notice, the CCTV Policy is contained within the section relevant to Data Protection. This is because images of people made via CCTV are covered by the Data Protection Act, and so is information about people which is derived from images. As a consequence only a limited number of people who are authorised can view those images – to protect the rights of individuals who are on the recordings. You can’t therefore obtain a highly amusing CCTV clip of your mate doing something funny or embarrassing on the concourse at 2 AM when leaving Academy. Equally, you could rest at peace about that awkward moment when your trousers fell to your ankles in front of the Costcutters – it is not going to end up on YouTube, courtesy of Brunel University CCTV cameras! So who are those chosen ones permitted to view the CCTV images? This restricted circle includes police and other law enforcement agencies, prosecution agencies, legal representatives, members of staff involved with University disciplinary processes and in exceptional circumstances others to assist in identification of a victim, witness or perpetrator in relation to a criminal incident. Recently the Union has been successful in persuading the University to add advisers from the Advice and Representation Centre (ARC) to this restricted group of people. This is a great step which will improve our advisers’ ability to assist students whose enquiries involve CCTV images, for example disciplinary cases. The ARC would only be able to view

clips which directly relate to a client they are advising, usually on a disciplinary matter. You could also request to view the images or recording if you are the focus of it; if it’s about you (unless disclosure would prejudice criminal enquiries or proceedings). The Data Protection Act 1998 gives you the right to access personal information about yourself, including CCTV images. You can ask for a copy of CCTV if you appear on it, but it will only be provided if doing so does not compromise any other party’s data protection rights. If necessary, the University will pixelate or otherwise obscure images of other people. The CCTV Policy explains in detail how to go about accessing your image; to put it shortly you should submit a request to the University’s Information Access Officer. There is a form which you need to use and the address of the Information Access Officer is on that form. The CCTV technology is not infallible; there’s no guarantee that usable footage exists; the camera may not have been pointing in the “right” direction at the time, it might be too dark to identify people, or the camera wasn’t zoomed in on the event. For instance, we are told by the University’s Information Access Officer that they often have requests for footage of vehicle accidents, but it’s rare for the registration numbers to be visible. We must not forget however that there is a strong obligation on CCTV cameras operators to respect your privacy. The CCTV policy is very clear: for instance no cameras are supposed to focus on University residential accommodation, public areas and entrances excepted. Camera operators receive training and written procedures for maintaining the privacy of the occupants of such accommodation. CCTV cameras are here to stay; they are an important tool in keeping you safe and their use is highly regulated. You will probably never have to deal with them and your image won’t be unnecessarily retained- but if you need further advice, come and see an adviser at the ARC (Hamilton Building, Ground Floor, near Locos) Full CCTV Policy, Advice and Representation Centre http://

Where to find out more Call us: 01895 269169 Email us: Find us online: Please check our website for the most up-to-date opening times.

Union of Brunel Students


Recycling made Barack Obama the President.

March 2012 - Le Nurb ARTS & REVIEWS


Don’t Stray from the Path REVIEW

Linda Nylind

Brain Activity

David Shrigley REVIEW Veronica Grubb Brain Activity at the Hayward Gallery is David Shrigley’s first major UK exhibition, but it really should have come sooner. While Shrigley is known for his humorous drawings (The Essential David Shrigley), his exhibition features sculpture, photography, animations and more in what begins to feel like a never-ending showcase of talent that has been deprived of limelight for far too long. Literally hundreds of works of art are crammed into this space, separated into rooms which tackle the grand narratives of our time: relationships, death, sleep and less obviously, misshapen things. The first room is Headlessness, where the first thing you see is a headless ostrich. Baffling? This opening draws you into Shrigley’s world where he wants you to imagine the stories behind the exhibits, answering any questions you’ll inevitably have, yourself. His style is simplistic, almost childlike and you do find yourself reverting to a childlike mindset as Shrigley toys with your worldly preconceptions. A small structure of the word ‘IT’ hides in the corner of one room, leading to the obvious question, “What is ‘it’?” Shrigley’s paintings mock art; if art is something that you feel then surely Shrigley is expressing it better than anyone by painting ‘FUCKING HELL’ angrily across a page in green paint by a screaming red stick figure. If this isn’t clear enough then the drawing captioned ‘Museums are full of crap’ should illustrate the point. The light-heartedness of Shrigley’s work counter-plays the ideas behind it so that your brain works on two unlikely levels at once using puns, contradictions, and euphemisms with as much significance as the material. I’m aware that my descriptions make Brain Activity sound somewhat trivial. The truth is that Shrigley toes the line between philosophical and nonsensical and this is what makes his work so refreshing. If anything compelled me on a more personal level, it would be arguably Shrigley’s most famous work: a taxidermy dog holding a sign which says “I’m dead.” As if it were fate, before I went in

to this exhibition, a Jack Russell terrier just like this one happened to leap into my arms for a cuddle. The lifelike quality the dead dog possesses is disturbing, horrific even considering the unsentimental irony applied to it. So that the comedic quality of Shrigley’s work is suddenly turned on its head, and life feels like nothing but ‘a prequel to extinction.’ In a literal whole other world, a section of the exhibit is populated by hundreds of insects, made from uniquely shaped pieces of metal. Thousands of little legs – the stuff of a lot of our nightmares, and yet they appear so human; working together, alone, having sex. The only way to escape the room is through an insect sized hole in the wall. Shrigley communicates with the spectator directly in every room. The relationship room in particular lent a particularly dark undertone to something close to the skin; the animation ‘New Friends’ involved a square being cut brutally into a circle by a community of his circular shaped friends. Enforcing this is ‘Swords and Daggers,’ which were carved in wax with a potato peeler before being cast in bronze. VERDICT


There is a skill to Shrigley’s purposefully crude art, and his ability to communicate so much with just a pencil and paper. It feels okay to live in an ugly world if we can laugh at it. The problem with reviewing this exhibition is that I cannot condense ideas like Shrigley can. Brain Activity made me feel as if my brain had suddenly woken up from the coma of only using the usual 10%. This exhibition forces you to think about life, the universe and everything, until I thought my brain might explode – in a good way. But contemplating it makes no difference to life, the universe, and everything, which is at the taxidermy heart of this absurd exhibition which celebrates futility, not the answers to the grand questions it poses.

electricpedals Veronica Grubb Don’t Stray from the Path, devised by The Wonder Club, is a part of the Old Vic Tunnels’ Vault Festival and exemplifies the exciting performance Vault aims to celebrate. It combines theatre, music, circus, puppetry and more. The Wonder Club paves your way into this imaginative reworking of the Red Riding Hood Fairytale as a promenade performance. The Old Vic Tunnels are a mustsee venue if you haven’t been yet; a storage space previously used by British Rail, it has come on since it first opened. I used to usher for the Old Vic Tunnels whilst it was still a damp labyrinth, but for Vault, it has been transformed into a series of much more intimate spaces for individual shows. Wandering around this series of eclectically decorated rabbit tunnels, it still hasn’t lost its deliciously dark charm. Wonder Club use this space to its fullest extent, paying intense attention to detail. It feels as if one has walked into a surrealist painting. You enter a distorted version of a magical forest, each element of it an artwork in its own right. A miniature house hangs suspended with holes in which you can poke your head; women dressed as rabbits sway ceaselessly and silently before carrots with tear stained expressions; a man shouts advice at you working up a sweat on a stationary bike – it is all as perverse as fairytale worlds really are. The

things to discover are endless, and then you realise: no wonder Red Riding Hood strays from the path. Bubbling beneath the sense of wonderment is the cautionary tale. Your individual journey is interrupted occasionally by Red’s story, told in an extremely postmodern way. Red (besides the narrator-like character) is the only other speaking actor, forcing what we’re very aware is a script into this world without a fourth wall. Don’t Stray from the Path toes the line between narrative and reality, as these characters which walk amongst the audience are aware of the performance scenario and their sense of conscious: the Wolf could eat an audience member rather than Red for example. It is a disturbingly revelatory comment made by Wonder Club to know that although the Huntsman may be an ordinary audience member, any audience member could also be the Wolf. The ensemble transform from entrancing women suspended gorgeously in mid-air to primordial creatures, which reflects the lesson learnt about the nature of humanity here. Don’t Stray from the Path opens with a narrator gauging the audience response to pieces of advice; “Don’t talk to strangers – pass it on!” exemplifies the ironic tone this production possesses. More significantly, it reflects the evolution of the cautionary tale i.e. that nowadays we don’t listen to advice

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Recycling doesn’t think Diet Coke is real Coke.

like this. Admittedly, I was drawn to the bluesy, sensually played Wolf before I was aware of his character, which considering the connotations of his persona, exemplifies the flaw in this contemporary attitude to advice. Yet altogether, the threat which breathes in each separate element is never wholly realised. A sense of climax occurs as the Wolf chases Red using the actors and set in a thrilling interlude, accompanied by a palpitating song mainly consisting of the word ‘run.’ But from here, the denouement is unfulfilling, the story strays from itself. Although the level of audience engagement is high, this isn’t taken advantage of; what this promenade performance is missing is simply an ending. VERDICT


Don’t Stray from the Path really exemplifies the transportive quality of theatre that we love to become immersed in, and this show possesses a greater magnetism than the majority of naturalistic theatre we’ve become accustomed to watching. It’s a shame that this sort of theatre is still kept ‘underground’ because Don’t Stray from the Path was not just a show, but also an eye-opening experience. The Wonder Club has a diamond in the rough here, which only needs some polishing to shine for what it’s worth.


March 2012 - Le Nurb ARTS & REVIEWS

Rock of Ages REVIEW

Premiering in 2005, the show began a critically acclaimed run on Broadway (above) in 2009, and opened in London (below) last year.

Veronica Grubb I not so secretly want to be a rock star. So, however outwardly superficial Rock of Ages might appear to the critic, the celebration of sex, drugs, and rock and roll makes for a definite feel-good musical. I complain about jukebox musicals breeding like rampant bunnies, and I am not one for, well, a happy musical. They usually feel like nothing musicals; a cliché with tapping arms and legs, and boring songs. But Rock of Ages uses this to poke fun at the musical theatre genre, wherein lie these four stars. In particular, the moment when Lonny takes out a programme and informs Drew (Oliver Tompsett) that he’s in a musical, “You used to be in Mamma Mia?! [sings] Look at you now...” Drew and Sherry are two young wannabes, hoping to make it in New York, who happen to fall in love but are torn apart by an inevitable misunderstanding. Simple enough, Rock of Ages isn’t about substance, but it’s about dreaming. And obviously not every theatregoer wants something intellectually stimulating every time they go out – where’s the fun in that? So I can’t bring myself to throw stones at

writer Chris D’Arienzo for keeping it simple; at this expense, the show is actually a laugh-a-minute, which is a tremendous feat in itself. I haven’t laughed this much at the theatre since... well, I haven’t ever. There is an unstoppable energy in this flawless ensemble, necessary for the driven sound of this show. Rock of Ages is set against 80’s rock anthems including “We Built This City,” “The Final Countdown,” and “Don’t Stop Believing.” Musical theatre is difficult territory for rock music (you could argue it has stolen We Will Rock You’s formula of awful story plus immense music) but Rock of Ages creates the atmosphere of a Sunset Strip gig. Tompsett is an established leading man, and his vocal dexterity is astounding, possessing the metallic edge to elevate him from stage star to rock star. Simon Lipkin as Lonny jostles with Tompsett for star of the show. Simply put, he is hilarious. He has a t-shirt that says ‘Hooray for Boobies,’ prances and gyrates and rubs his nipples, makes a point by eating inanimate objects…I’ve seen Rock of Ages twice and he makes the whole cast (and himself) corpse left, right and centre. He’s that funny. There are a couple of actual ‘stars’

in the cast in the shape of Justin Lee Collins and Shayne Ward. Collins has a gay plotline with Lonny as owners of the infamous Bourbon Room – never has a fog machine been so moving. Both hold their own well within their cast, and aren’t at all disappointing as you might expect, after seeing other so-called celebrities that have ventured to tread the boards. A mention must also go to Regina (Jodie Jacobs) – “Oh, I get it! Regina rhymes with pussy!” – and Franz (Sandy Moffat) – “I’m not gay! I’m German!” Beneath the hippy socks worn with sandals and Lycra bodysuits, is a heartfelt example of sticking it to the man. A refrain of Kelly Devine’s choreography, which makes you want to leap out of your seat and join in. VERDICT


It’s just occurred to me, this has transferred to London at a very appropriate time considering our riotous attitude towards the current government. But seriousness aside, if the music and laughs don’t tickle your fancy enough, the cast don’t wear very much.

A Hub night out Five songs... Lewis Sluman My reason for attending this night was solely down to the LMS (Live Music Society) of Brunel and James Cleary, bass player of Blind Bandana, for getting in touch with me. Quiet for the Speaker, in a nutshell are loud, powerful and clearly big Nirvana fans. There is a huge twang in the vocals tonight (think Oasis) supported by Pigeon Detectivesstyle backing vocals and it works reasonably well. They move quickly from one song to another with heavy reliance on guitar effects and pedals which work well in keeping with their grunge rock sound. These boys do love their bridges before bringing the chorus back in full throttle, shaking the song down for every bit of loose musical change going but nobody is complaining. The energy is high and they’ve done themselves proud tonight. As soon as Blind Bandana take to the stage, you know what you are getting – some hits from the rock n‘ roll hall of fame. They open with The Who’s ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’ and don’t look back, they then power through some classics and even the Topman-loving, The Only Way Is Essex types sitting next to me start sing every chorus of each song – such is the rock power of ‘Walk This Way’ and ‘Whole Lotta Love’. Don’t get too comfortable, though; they bring their own material to the table and you may think this is your chance to nurse your voice for five minutes and grab a drink (£2 Blackthorn by the way – nice) but you’d be wrong. If anything, you should be surprised by how well new material of an 80’s sound fits into their set. They will be releasing their original stuff for free, so make sure you check it out. The guitarist rips through each

solo as if playing Guitar Hero and begging for that 100% godlike status – I look on with envy. They begin to play a medley of songs for their final number, ‘Superstition’ goes into LMFAO’s ‘Party Rock Anthem’ which sounds particularly interesting with guitars and they end with the immortal modern rock sing along, The Darkness’ I Believe in a Thing Called Love. You would literally have to be made of stone to not enjoy these guys, they are infectious and they are good, and that is that. Downtown Social Club come on to a packed out room; I can barely see the stage from where I am. To define how many people make up this jazzy bunch is impossible, but there’s a few added on and the band twist and turns like a Rubix cube to get the combination right, and they do. The first four songs, ‘Freedom’, ‘Play That Funky Music,’ ‘Ain’t No Mountain’ and ‘I Feel Good’ go down an absolute storm. These songs are impossible not to sing along to and very wise setlist choices. The band includes vocals, drums, guitar, bass, trumpet and saxophone and it works so well, they even manage to turn a raffle into a total jazz fest and it seems to happen so naturally. They bring back forgotten gem ‘Harder To Breathe’ by Maroon 5 – it’s so effortless. The best moment is when Meesha and Rosie join Christina and perform a rendition of ‘Lady Marmalade’, its powerful and amazing, suiting each of them perfectly. Downtown Social Club reel off the hits like nobody’s business and then it’s the end of the night – I’ll be back for the next one without invitation for sure.

for Reading and Leeds Festival (so far)

Lewis Sluman Foo Fighters Best Of You This is one hell of a powerful anthem. Dave Grohl is a master in passion and desire, and this song sums them up perfectly.

At The Drive-In One Armed Scissor Guitar Hero fans unite! At The Drive-In are back and with a new album to boot, One Armed Scissor will definitely be one of their highlights - such a big sing along!

Enter Shikari Pack of Thieves One of my favourite live bands and I’ve seen them twice at Reading before, no doubt they’ll play some new album material. This better be played!

Pulled Apart By Horses I Punched A Lion In The Throat So happy to see these guys open the main stage this year! They totally deserve it, as a hardworking UK technical hardcore band. I’ve


Recycling gives the Media Chair a chance to be funny with his captions.

seen them before at Reading and it was brutal. Think Biffy Clyro but heavier. Cancer Bats Sabotage Cancer Bats are on the main stage this year too, and while usually cooped up inside a tent somewhere, I expect this cover of the Beastie Boys classic to go down a storm with the festival crowd. Huge, powerful and angry.

March 2012 - Le Nurb ARTS & REVIEWS


The Artist REVIEW Ruth Hodges It was the big winner at the Oscars this year, winning five of the little gold statues, including Best Actor, Best Director, and of course, Best Picture. It was only a few weeks prior to this that it also managed to completely dominate the BAFTAs. You must know I’m referring to The Artist, because there’s no other film that’s got so many people talking this year. Directed by Michel Hazanavicius, it stars the French actors you probably won’t have heard of: Jean Dujardin, and Berenice Bejo; all who are bound to have increased success off the back of it. I knew all about the hype surrounding the film when I went to it, but despite all this information in my head, I tried to watch the film with a completely open mind. I didn’t want to be disappointed and I definitely wasn’t. If I tell you what the film is about, you’ll probably think it sounds as contrived and predictable as I did. It tells the feel-good story of a famous silent-film actor, who starts to lose work as the ‘talkies’ start to become more popular with the public. A dancer he helped to get work when he was more successful ends up helping him out in the end, and it’s all very touching. There’s a cute dog as well. Sounds a bit lame? Don’t worry, you won’t notice, because there’s a lot more than that going on. The main thing is that the film is black and white, and completely silent. Well, I say completely, it definitely makes up for the lack of speech with the slightly over-thetop and dramatic music, and there are a few moments of sound, which

do take you by surprise and have the desired effect of enhancing events. However, there are short parts that are completely noise-less. It’s a credit to the film that in the cinema, there surprisingly wasn’t any of the whispering or inappropriate giggling you might get from an audience at another film. Instead everyone was completely riveted, eyes stuck to the screen. You could have heard a pin drop, I was extremely aware of how loud I was munching on my popcorn. The main thing to remember if you’re considering watching The Artist is, don’t be put off by the fact that it’s silent. Yes, it means you have to give it your full concentration, and if you’re not in the right mood for it, it will end up sending you to sleep. But the storyline is so cleverly conveyed that it’s easy to follow what is going on. The way it does this so successfully is, no doubt, the reason behind the attention The Artist has received from critics. The fairly standard, predictable story that it actually tells has been transformed. VERDICT


So, should you watch The Artist? Don’t watch it if you only like intense, high-speed car chases or violent thrillers. You won’t get any of that. But it’s surprising, unique and charming. It’s not going to be one of those films I know I can watch time after time, and never get bored of. But I’m glad I saw it, because it’s opened my eyes to a different way of filmmaking.

The Muppets REVIEW Veronica Grubb Since I heard this film was being released, I have literally been counting down the days on my calendar. I remember being even shorter than I am now and going to the cinema to see the last Muppet movie, Muppets From Space. And twelve years later it feels just as it did then. I haven’t left the cinema with a smile like that for a long time... twelve years, maybe. The unabashed joy of the Muppets goes much further back than my childhood, of course; they’ve been going for 35 years and return in this movie acknowledging without shame that, well, they’ve been forgotten about since our childhood. Disbanded for years, the Muppets now pursue separate careers: Miss Piggy is the editor of French Vogue, Fozzy is in a tribute band called The Moopets, Gonzo is a plumbing magnate, and Kermit sits and reminisces about the good old days in his Beverly Hills mansion. It takes their biggest fan, Walter (a Muppet who’s struggled in the human world), and his brother Gary (played by Jason Segel, who arguably is the Muppets’ biggest human fan and wrote this film with Forgetting

Sarah Marshall director, Nick Stoller) to bring the Muppets back together. They must raise enough money to buy their studio back from an evil oil baron (Chris Cooper’s maniacal laughs and rap – yes, rap – are a major highlight). A lot of the laughs come from the film’s ability to laugh at itself. The whole town fall into a dance break at the beginning of the movie, MGM musical-style, but then collapse thankfully once the chirpy threesome have left for Hollywood. It screams, ‘I am a cheesy movie; you know it, we know it’ and reminds us how magical the movies can be if we just sit back and let it cast its spell. Amy Adams has always looked something of a Disney princess, and so is delightfully cast in this movie. The strained relationship between her and Segel parallels Kermit and Miss Piggy’s, and is played well against the Muppets’ otherwise comical plot. It’s insane how these unique furry friends are able to make you feel not only warm and fuzzy inside, but insanely good about yourself. The music is composed by Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords, and the Oscar-

winning song ‘Man or a Muppet’ is genuinely both moving and amusing; by the time you reach this song, your heart is like warm putty in their little hands. There are a few cameos from the likes of Whoopi Goldberg and Jack Black, but for this comeback,

the real stardom is the Muppets’. I had never realised how much Cee Lo Green sounds like a flock of chickens or how much I missed Fozzy’s “Wacka wacka!”, for instance. The finale feels like a family reunion, and I’m about five years old all over again.

Recycling gives the rest of the Le Nurb team a chance to humour him (Seriously, I’m doing these next month - Rob).



In the state this country is in, it takes a pretty powerful movie for a whole audience to skip out singing “Everything is great, life’s a happy song.” The Muppets are back!


March 2012 - Le Nurb ARTS & REVIEWS

To B or not to B? Veronica Grubb As I write this, I’m watching Tom Ford’s Oscar-nominated A Single Man: as artsy-fartsy a film as you can get without watching The Artist. And I wonder, who on earth has the right to decide whether this deserved an award or not? I would have given Best Picture to this, not Hurt Locker – but they didn’t; I would have given Best Picture to Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, not The Artist – but they didn’t. And then this nightmare came into clarity in my mind’s eye: even at that far-off level of professionalism, beautiful things (the term ‘art’ is far too pretentious, it entails the silly, impossible question of ‘what is art?’, the labelling itself a form of grading) will always be reduced to a grade: winner, loser, not even nominated = A, B, whatever. I’ve already begun making a nightmare out of my dreams because of the dreaded marks for my first-term writing portfolio. I consider myself lucky (or perhaps, in a parent’s eyes, copping out) to be studying something I love with creative writing (although I’m placing all arts subjects involving a creative project under an umbrella generalisation here). Did you spot the blackened word in the otherwise positively phrased sentence above? No, not parents. ‘Studying.’ Of course, there’s a wealth to learn from studying

others’ work but can you honestly study ‘how to’ something? Whether it be writing, composing, or performance – let alone mark it. Obviously, to a technical extent you can: the comma goes here, act it in the style of this practitioner. I won’t say must for undoubtedly there are those who didn’t study their craft yet are hailed as the best in their field. But beyond a general check for competent knowledge about conventions, how can you mark the arts without creating a weirdly communist breed of ‘correct’ (I can’t help but use the word now, sorry) artists?

It’s a form of censorship in a sense which is purely paradoxical. In a recent interview for IdeasTap, playwright David Eldridge said “there’s no right way to write a play... do this workshop, learn this structure... it doesn’t work like that: writers need treating in as... individual a way as possible.” And I forgot about feeling guilty for doing things my way. Although my contention is obvious, I’m not bitter about my first marks of university; elements of the feedback seem fair enough. But following the results, I heard this phrase resonate amongst

my peers ‘they just didn’t seem to get it.’ Do they ever? My eyes aren’t your eyes. So we come to the obvious point: art is subjective, possibly too subjective to be called good or bad. It took years for Joyce’s Ulysses to be published, but now it’s heralded as one of the greatest books ever written. Looking at the marketing criteria, I can’t help but see a vicious circle in which you can’t get an A for originality, without getting a substantially lower mark in structure or language, and vice versa. In an age where achieving


originality anymore seems impossible, I would argue that nurturing creativity should come before restraining it to a marking criterion. I have increasingly found myself using the phrase, “you have to sell your soul for an A.” Reading this back, it sounds a little on the Faustian side of overdramatic, but it earnestly feels that way. If (I feel I should slap my wrist every time I use this word) ‘art’ often holds a mirror up to its creator, then doesn’t marking it suddenly seem not just difficult, but perverse? Take art – as in paintings etc. – for example; before appreciating whether the composition of a painting is perfect, I ask myself whether I identify with it. Of course whether you identify with a piece of writing, the interpretation of a character, the phrasing of a musical line, doesn’t, or at least, shouldn’t influence the mark. But does it influence whether one ‘gets’ it or not? This is what worries me. I’m not presuming I can change the whole educational system with one article – I always accepted a degree as the easiest way into the industry. But in writing this, I can exercise my voice without getting panic attacks over whether it’ll receive above a B; and isn’t expression of ideas what it’s all about?

LAUNCH PARTY Friday 30th March 2012

Find and follow us for full details bruneldigitalmedia BrunelDM

Recycling makes memes seem funny.



BRUNEL POLITICAL AWARENESS WEEK A Brunel Political Awareness week will take place this month in MONDAY DAYTIME the effort to encourage the wider student body to become more GUEST Onkar Shaota (12-2pm) politically aware. GUEST John McDonnell MP (2.30-4pm) At the moment, a large proportion of those who are politically active on campus, as well as those who involve themselves with MONDAY EVENING the running of the Student Union, are members of the School Argumental? (Academy, 6-8pm) of Social Sciences. The Political Awareness week hopes to increase the participation TUESDAY DAYTIME of students from the other schools, post-graduates and Water Fight international students, who a currently under-represented in Political Cake Stands campus politics. Most of the political parties and movements which have societies THURSDAY DAYTIME at Brunel will be present throughout the week, holding GUEST Andy Slaughter MP (4.30-5.30pm) information stalls and inviting guest speakers to interact with People’s Manifesto students. Mock Election Campaign The week, which starts on Monday 26th March, will host a Drop the Bill petition (12-4pm) number of events involving students from across the political spectrum. FRIDAY DAYTIME Events confirmed include, an Argumental style debate about Mock Election Campaign political issues, to be held in Academy from 6pm on Monday 26th. People’s Manifesto Unveiling A water fight will take place on Tuesday 27th along with GUEST Owen Jones (author of “Chavs”) tasty treats from a politically themed cake stand. A people’s manifesto will be launched on Thursday 29th, where FRIDAY EVENING students can contribute their ideas about what a government Mock Election Results would act like if it was run by the student body. Loco’s Wind-down In addition, various political speakers will attend Political Onto Mega Global! Awareness Week, giving students the chance to talk to them about a variety of issues. Subject to change. A mock election will round of the week, when fictional candidates Additional events will be added. campaign to be elected. The results will be announced before the Mega Global event on Friday 30th March. Kerri Prince, who is helping to organise the event, said: "The reason a political awareness week is taking place is because apathy amongst students continues to rise. We need to explain and educate students about why politics matters. Politics is not simply limited to parties jostling in parliament, wider issues and causes are relevant, too. Education and engagement are the two things I hope this week will achieve.” Recycling goes from the window to the floor every single night.


March 2012 - Le Nurb COFFEE BREAK

COFFEE BREAK decaffeinated Sudoku


Medium Difficulty: 55555

8 4


3 5 2

6 7 3

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Wordfinder Difficulty: 55555 Find as many words as possible using letters from the grid. The words must be four letters or more, and contain the central letter, but each letter may not be used more than once. There is at least one word that uses all nine letters in the grid.


RATINGS: 11-16 17-21 average good

22-26 excellent

Amourousness is not only not your thing, but it is not even a word. Avoid the opposite sex like the plague. Unless you are gay, in which case cling to them like barnacles.

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 20)

Speak slowly and you will be heard. People will think you’re being a dick, but they’ll definitely understand you. Don’t believe anything you read today. Ahem.

AQUARIUS (January 21-February 19)

The number ten may be given added significance today and will randomly pop up in everyday conversations. Ten. Dimples can appear at any time today in your otherwise flawless but kind of saggy skin.

PISCES (February 20-March 20)

Levels of pithrampethin are low so be wary of the jub-jub doll. It wants to nibble on your scrantocks and your whiffle. Neither of which you can do without as the National Whiffle-Growing contest is coming up.


27 godlike

“COMPILING COFFEE BREAK IS MY LIFELONG AMBITION” Really? Maybe you should be on the Le Nurb team! Applications open soon - for full details, turn to page 12! Recycling likes these horoscopes.



SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)

11-16 average


Help! I’m trapped here, they won’t let me leave! They say that if I write enough horoscopes, they will let me leave! They are lying! Phone the Red Cross, please God, help me!

17-21 good


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)

22-26 excellent


Your local pub will suddenly disappear today with a whoosh noise as you go up to it. Everything is very calm right now. A Tesco drifts past. Life is a bit of a whirlwind for you.

4 9 7 6 5 2 3 1 8


LIBRA (September 22-October 22)



Think of a number. Now multiply that number by eighteen. I can confidently predict that your number does not rhyme with “golfing umbrella”.

Medium Sudoku


VIRGO (August 23-September 21)

5 1 3 8 4 7 6 2 9



That Nigerian dictator’s email may seem legit, but look closer. It may appear odd that he has an account with Yahoo. Email back asking for more information.

8 6 2 3 1 9 4 7 5


LEO (July 23-August 22)

6 4 9 1 2 8 7 5 3



Your appetite for life (and food) will diminish as you fall into a vat of beef dripping with no ladder. Make up for it today by falling into a vat of beer then a vat of crisps, finally ending in a vat of Turkish-doner-meat-from-a-van.

1 7 5 9 6 3 8 4 2



CANCER (June 22-July 22)

3 2 8 5 7 4 1 9 6


God may attempt to speak to you via a kitchen appliance today. So try not to swear at the toaster when it screws up again, for this may be the Lord. And yay it was toasted – PING.

9 5 6 4 8 1 2 3 7



GEMINI (May 22-June 21)

7 8 4 2 3 5 9 6 1


“Brown fury” is not something to be yelled when in a toilet cubicle. Dusty books will only cause asthma and boredom. You will find the exits here, here and here.

2 3 1 7 9 6 5 8 4



TAURUS (April 21-May 21)

acuity, airs, airy, astir, casuist, casuistry, citrus, city, racist, racists, rustic, rustics, sacristy, sari, saris, sics, sirs, sitar, sitars, sits, stair, stairs, stir, stirs, suit, suits, tics.


You could do with a dose of luck, or failing that, a superhero who wears lycra and lunges. A lot. Also, déjà vu is not a Thai dish you ate last week. Stop saying it.

27 godlike


ARIES (March 21-April 20)






). /&&)#)!,!QTMDK4MHUDQRHSX 4(%

8$ 1!..*






#D@CKHMD¬&RIDAY¬TH¬-ARCH¬ Recycling can score more often than Fernando Torres.


March 2012 - Le Nurb SPORT

Rowing make a name for themselves Beckie Mellor & Rob Cross On Saturday, March 3, over 3,000 rowers, coxes and coaches made their way onto the banks of the Tideway to compete in the annual Women’s Eights Head of the River Race (WEHORR). This is the main event of the winter season for women rowers and it is what all of the hard training and cold mornings have been for. It was an early start (meaning meeting at 5:45am at the pond!) to get an outing on the water before the race. After getting used to the coastal conditions on the wide stretch of river, we came in to prepare. Once in our kit, and the post team chat was done, we got our hands on the boat and made our way into the freezing cold water. The wellies proved to be no help and with wet feet, we put our oars in and Brunel Women (Paige Steel-Thomas, Adrienne Lee, Nicola Bishop, Beckie Mellor, Vicky Bullen, Bianca Nicklen, Marie Grant, Nikki Webb and Meera Patel) were en route to the start in the rain. Whilst rowing up we heard cheers from Hammersmith Bridge and knew that we had supporters there watching us, meaning making an effort to look good in the photos on the way back! Adrenaline pumping, we turned around at the top and made our way to the start line, gaining pace as we went. We get the call from our cox (Meera) to wind up for the start and by the time we heard ‘go’ we were off, overtaking a crew within the first 3 kilometres. The middle ten minutes are a mental battle, but with an enthusiastic cox, anything can happen. Whilst she shouted us down the course, we were in sight of another boat. We reached Hammersmith and heard the uproar from the BURC supporters. This spurred us on for the last two kilometres and the most gruelling part of the race. The finish line is a deceivingly long way from Fulham Football Club and “go for home” is a call that you are praying to hear. We

Beckie Mellor

The men’s novice crew pulling out all the stops in their first ever head race. just caught up to the second boat as we were crossing the finish line and everyone gave a sigh of relief at the thought of being able to stop. We set the best time ever seen by Brunel at WEHORR; coming 63rd out of the 114 boats in our division and 178th overall, thrashing the placing last year by over 100 places in a time of 23:38. Our affiliate club Staines Boat Club (Brunel’s Nicola Benavente) came an astounding 46th in a time of 21:37, again beating records set in previous years. Some of Brunel Rowing’s finest men prepare for the men’s head of the river on March 17, set to produce some more respectable results! Along with this great effort from the BURC ladies, we’ve had other victories in the winter season with wins in both doubles (Nikki Webb and Marie Grant) and singles (Nicola Benavente) at Burway Head and great results at BUCS in mid-February. In very harsh conditions, the girls came 13th out of 25 with stiff competition from the likes of Durham, Reading and Loughborough. The BURC men also came 23rd out of a possible 56 boats in the hurricanelike wind. Our Women’s Captain Nicola Benavente also competed at Fours Head at the beginning of the winter season with three ladies from Staines Boat Club. In

their quad they came 25th out of 153, producing a stunning result along with fellow Brunelians; Dan Harrington, Rob Suker and Harry Neale competing in Men’s 4+. Brunel men (Dylan Bevan, Rob Cross, Ben Tadman, Anthony Deal, Eddie Snelgrove, Rupert Laslett, Andy Carson, Matt Geldard and Max Lawrence) have also been taking to the water producing more great results. On March 10 they made their way to Kingston for the first 5.2 km head race for the novice 8+ crew. Approaching the start line, the marshal called “Brunel, go!” With 20 boats in the novice 8+ division and contenders belonging to crews such as Exeter and Walton the adrenaline was high, and at Hampton Court Bridge the 8 turned and was in quick pursuit of Essex University. Amazingly our novice Brunel crew, in its first ever 5.2 km head race, overtook two Kingston BC crews (the hosts of this head race) in the first 2km before striding into the 3rd and 4th of the race. This is when concentration slacks and fatigue can begin to show. However, winter training proved successful, and our 8 pulled it out of the bag when it came to the final kilometre. Racing under Kingston Bridge the echoes of the cox’s calls (Max Lawrence) signalled a final push. A power 10 and two more crews were left in the wake of ‘The

Seven’. Brunel achieved 8/20th of novice 8+, and 47th out of 141 boats out on the Thames in that division at 2pm, with a time of 18:47.5. Brunel was also represented by a novice 4+ (James Flemming, Gordon Yardley, Josh Stehr, Guex, Hadrien and Meera), who came second in their category. Other crews saw fellow Brunelians (Roland Skinner, Michael Haagensen, Moe Metwally, Jack Shepphard and Tom Stainer) cross the finish line with another well-rowed race. BURC started the racing season with an annual fun race in October on their home stretch of river, resulting in Novice 8+ crashes and gold medals won by some of our finer athletes, initiating a hard winter of training to provide bigger and better results all round in the summer events! Brunel Rowing Club is starting to make its name heard, both in races and on campus! Our 24-hour row will be happening on March 22, where we will try and beat last year’s time – 1,000,000m in a time of 22:51:23. After this and the hard winter training, now comes the fun bit – rowing in the warmth! Sun’s out, guns out, and there is nothing better than a one-piece tan line. Next race to aim for is the BUCS regatta – let’s go, BURC!

Women’s B-Ball fight to stay top

Grace Truman March is the biggest month of the year for Brunel Women’s Basketball, as a season of hard work comes to an extremely exciting climax! Having gone 9-0 out of the ten league fixtures this year, the fate of the most successful women’s team in years is to be decided with the last game of the season. Currently still on top of league 1a, the only team that could stop us remaining there is Kings College London. Kings, currently second, have only been defeated by us, and only by nine points. This, along with their large points difference gap, means that only a win away from home would guarantee us top spot! With our last home game of the season being cancelled due to bottom-of-the-league Kent failing to make it, we haven’t had a fixture since February 15. We’ve had plenty of extra training and the opportunity of winning the league is within our reach; come game day, we will be ready. It’s not just the league title that is at stake this month. If we are successful on March 14 we will be having a play-off match to decide if we will be promoted to the Prem! From this year’s freshers through to the girls who are soon to be leaving, gaining promotion would be a great achievement. Also in March, like many other Brunel teams, we will be heading to St. Mary’s for Varsity! The Women, alongside the two Men’s teams, will be competing to maintain Brunel dominance on March 28. We would love to see as many basketball supporters as possible and recreate the awesome atmosphere from last year.

The Squash Club finish the season with pride Jo Barnard February is a very exciting month in the Squash calendar. February saw the clubs return to the Roehampton University Cup, and having supported the tournament for the past two years, we were invited to enter two teams this year. Our first team faced a tough draw including the winners and runners-up from last year: Durham and Reading. However, they fought valiantly to finish second in the draw and go through to the next round. The second team had three tough matches and finished third in their draw. The firsts played a very strong Cambridge team on Sunday morning and were outplayed, leaving them facing Surrey. At the end of an exciting weekend, Brunel 1’s finished up seventh and

the 2nd team placed thirteenth. Both teams did Brunel proud. The organiser Paul Lindsay personally emailed the club with thanks for our positive attitude on and off court, and for the support we showed to not only our own players, but also to the other unis and the people running the tournament. The next big weekend was the BUCS Nationals. Gary O’Brien, Abubakr Chaudhry, Dominic Trewin and myself headed up to Birmingham for the annual event on February 16. It was an exceptional weekend of squash, both to play and to watch, with top international players such as El Shorbagy displaying the true beauty of the game. Facing top opposition Brunel’s finest stepped up to the challenge with Abu reaching the quarter-finals Draw D, and Dom winning the plate in Draw

E. Off the court it was a chance to catch up with old friends and make many new ones. We are already excited to be back next year. Finally, a quick look at the leagues. With all league matches now played, the results stand as follows: Brunel 1st team finishing fourth after being promoted to division 1A at the beginning of the year; Brunel 2nd’s and 3rd’s finishing second and fourth respectively in division 3A. But the women’s team have been the stars of the club this year, finishing joint first in division 2A placing third by points difference. They have also made the final of the South East Cup, facing Surrey on March 12. Good luck to them! As chair, I have to say I am hugely proud of the determination, progress and commitment of the team players this year. We have

once again improved on last year’s success and hope to continue this next year. I must also thank our England Squash Coach James Hyatt not only for the coaching

and advice he has offered this year, but also for his unfaltering support and encouragement. Huge congratulations to everyone. Bring on tour!

Dominic Trewin

Recycling can make Tom Daley put on a shirt.

Dressed for a well-deserved dinner after day one at Roehampton.

March 2012 - Le Nurb SPORT

Victory all round for volleyball teams Behrouz Behzadan

The men’s team secure their place in the final after tough competition. Alexandra Despa The last few months have probably been the most interesting months in the history of Brunel Volleyball. 2012 has proved to be the year that the club has come alive. The club entered three Cups: BUCS league, Student Cup finals in Norwich, and, most recently, the South-Eastern Conference Cup. Both the men’s and the women’s team have worked really hard to get where they are and stay undefeated.

After losing their first ever match in the BUCS league, the women’s team took it to the chin and have never looked back since, winning every match with a score of 3-0. Coming eighth place out of 16 teams in the Student Cup finals in Norwich was a disappointment for the team, but they are very proud of the achievement, considering it was the first time they’ve competed at that level. The girls did not lose their confidence and

they came back stronger as a team, helping them continue their winning streak and confirming first place in the BUCS League and entering the finals in the Southeastern Conference Cup. The last-ever match of the season in the BUCS league against Royal Holloway will prove no match to the unforgiving and ever winning female team. South-Eastern Conference Cup finals will take place at Brunel’s Sports Centre on March 21, where the girls will be fighting more than ever to keep their winning record. The men’s team has also proved to be unforgiving, winning seven out of nine games since the beginning of the season. After losing their last match against Brighton in the BUCS League, the boys have come back fighting. Even though last week playing against the University of East London proved to be one of the toughest games to date, the guys managed to win, losing only one set to their competition, with the final score being 3-1. Noah Pilkington, captain of the men’s team said: “This was the toughest team we had to play against so far, and we worked harder than we ever did. The boys knew that winning another match in the knockout rounds would assure our

place in the finals. I’ve never been more proud of my team as I’ve been at the end of that match.” The finals will take place on home ground on March 21 and the boys are looking forward to playing another beautiful game and winning the South-Eastern Conference Cup. For some of the club members, this will be the last year playing in the Brunel Volleyball club as some of them will be graduating, but there is no doubt that this will be on the list of “the best moments at university” for all of them. Paula Stopka

The team that topped BUCS League.


GB’s golden girls stay on track for the Olympics Rebecca Chaouch Great Britain’s women’s relay team won gold in the 4x400m on March 11 at World Indoor Athletics Championships held in Istanbul, Turkey. Shana Cox, Nicola Sanders, Christine Ohuruogu and Perri Shakes-Drayton set a world-leading time of 3:28.76, triumphing over the USA (3:28.79) and Russia (3:29.55). Perri Shakes-Drayton, who ran a determined anchor leg for her team, is a Brunel graduate in Sport Sciences and now trains in East London. This closely-fought race added another gold medal to the GB’s total of nine medals, which is their best ever result at a World Indoor Championships. The men’s 4x400m took silver behind the USA, and Shara Proctor, Andrew Osagie and Holly Bleasdale won bronze medals in the long jump, 800m and pole vault respectively.

Sub Aqua popularity continues to grow Marshel Weerakone Brunel Sub Aqua has continued to progress this year in training new students towards obtaining their license. With scuba diving becoming more popular over the recent years, a second group of trainees are ready to enter the water for the first time this term. As you can see, scuba divers prefer having their lectures done underwater. With two live-aboard ships already booked exclusively for Brunel students in Egypt this June, it’s clear that the best time of the year for this club is still to come. With the recent snow fiasco, training has been delayed for a couple weeks but nonetheless our freshers and second year learners will be able to weather out the 4°C water temperature without breaking a sweat. Dive trips to

Wales, Stoney Cove (Leicestershire) and Wraysbury have already been scheduled; Refreshers’ Week looks to be the most active week for the club. For any curious people wanting to try out scuba diving for free, come along to the quad in Refreshers’ Week. Sub Aqua is known for its incredible social events, and this year has been no exception With a couple of joint social events with Target Shooting and Paintballing, the three-legged pub-crawls turned out to be memorable occasions, albeit for the wrong reasons. The annual Dive Show at London Excel is set for the weekend of March 31/ April 1; the club welcomes any fellow divers to come along as we attend in numbers to inspect this year’s scuba gear from all around the world.

Marshal Weerakone

Pool training continues in preparation for the Egypt trip this June.

Impressive Polish win at Euro 2012 Danny Mitchell Maybe not the most expected headline that will occur this summer, but during One World Week that was exactly what happened. Eleven teams signed up for the Euro 2012-style 6-a-side tournament hosted by Men’s Football, with a student union side making a cameo appearance in a oneoff friendly. The day was played in good spirits, with all teams playing some enjoyable football throughout the day. Many hours later, the final two teams – Poland and Spain – faced off in the final. Poland

made a bright start, quickly building up a 2-0 lead. However, in the second half Spain fought back to make the score 2-2 at full time. Extra time beckoned for the two sides and with a penalty shootout looming; Charlie O’Neill broke through for Poland and saw his strike find the back of the net, cueing massive celebrations among the team. They managed to hold on to secure a memorable victory, one I’m sure will live long in the memory. The prizes for our champions were free tickets to Academy and a free jug, a discount

voucher for Pizza Express and, most importantly, a winners’ medal. The day in total raised £83.50 for RAG and was a major success. Many thanks to all those who took part, to those who helped run the day and referee matches, and to those who helped organise the t-shirts and prizes for the competition. Congratulations to Charlie Daniels, Charlie O’Neill, Tom Ray, Liam “Olly Murs” Coughlan, Jack Martin and Karl Hodges who made up the winning side! Recycling will make the Olympics good.

Danny Mitchell The victorious six helped raise £83.50 for RAG.


March 2012 - Le Nurb SPORT

SPORT This month... ROWING

Sailing host fifth annual Brunel Badger Diana Meraz Carnevale

Even better results this winter


Another year, more improvement

22 Magdalen College School had a serious fight on their hands to hold onto a lead.


A busy few months for Brunel


Chilling in the pool

Chris Hulatt The last weekend of February saw Brunel Sailing Club play host to the fifth annual Brunel Badger racing event. This year, the event grew to see 21 teams take to the water, and compete headto-head with each other at our home reservoir. On the Saturday, teams awoke fresh-faced after an evening in Academy; and upon arriving at the sailing club, the racing began. Each team took to the water in three Fireflies, and took it in turns to go head-to-head with another team. The aim was to get their team around the course as quickly as possible. If team members were getting left behind, the rest of their team would try to slow the other team down using the

racing rules to their advantage. During the day, teams fought for as many wins as possible. This was reflected in the atmosphere on the water, where teams could regularly be heard shouting “protest” at the other teams, meaning that the umpires were kept busy throughout the day. Despite the forecasts, the wind remained consistently strong throughout, resulting in a fantastic day of racing. After a busy first day on the water, MCS were leading in first place; they hadn’t lost any of their races. Loughborough were also doing well, with both of their teams entering the gold fleet for the following day. After leaving the sailing club, all teams prepared

for a night out in London for one of Brunel Sailing’s “London bus pub crawls.” The following morning, the teams weren’t quite as ready to hit the water, with some teams having come back from London just hours before the racing began. Credit goes to Reading, who managed to come back from London with blonde stripes dyed in their hair (getting into the true Badger spirit). On the Sunday, teams divided in to gold, silver and bronze fleets for racing. Teams eventually started to get on the water in their respectful fleets. Between the hangovers, and lack of wind, racing was slow. The racing was eventually called off at midday due to a lack of wind. This provided

an extended opportunity for teams to move to the sailing club bar. At the end of the event we were pleased to announce that Magdalen College School were the winners of the 2012 Brunel Badger. As for Brunel’s team, we had to pull out to ensure that we had enough people to run the event (you just can’t win your own event!). Finally, special thanks go to all members of the Brunel Sailing Club for their help in making the event such a success. Bring on Badger 2013! FIND OUT MORE

Women’s Hockey battle to defeat Gloucestershire 23 SAILING

The Brunel Badger result


Danielle Austin This season, Brunel Women’s Hockey have been underdogs in all teams, but I think most people would agree that Wednesday’s game against Gloucestershire was our best performance of the season. We left the Gloucester girls gutted, and our hard work and effort paid off with a 3-1 victory. We went out onto the pitch with a plan to press and make the most of our chances near the goal, and that’s exactly what we did. We attacked effectively, but the first half was pretty evenly matched with both teams having chances. Annie and Debs held together the defense, ensuring Gloucestershire’s chances didn’t produce goals, whilst Tuna upfront made excellent

runs into space, creating a fast and imaginative game. Our passing throughout the first half was significantly better than previous games, with Kelly and Hayley pressurising the midfield. However, our concentration started to lapse and our defense was under a lot of pressure, with Harker making a number of brilliant saves. This eventually resulted in us conceding a goal, but the whole team stayed positive; we fought back and never let our heads drop. We started to exploit spaces and gain our composure again, which put their weak defense under pressure as they were running out of options and continuously running into our sticks, especially Hannah’s and Gemma’s who both Please recycle.

cut off many of their options. This prepared us for the second half. The second half started with confidence and we used our pace and quick passing to make it our game. We started to gain full control and Gloucestershire were tiring and getting very angry; this didn’t affect our game and we scored another two goals. These were products of hard work and effort from the whole of the team. Our vision had greatly improved in the second half with some beautiful passes being given in and around the ‘D’, as well as making the most of the passes round our defense to create spaces, allowing our forwards Bex and Tuna to trouble their defense. Bex had an amazing second half, with great work rate and

skill in the ‘D’. Alice created some really nice chances throughout the second half; most of the time Gloucestershire had no idea how to deal with her dribbling around players, causing chaos in their midfield and defense. Also, well done to Evie and Jo, who harassed the players in midfield, giving them very few options protecting the middle of the pitch – our main aim! Very proud to be part of this team and well done to all the girls who played. Bring on next week. FINAL SCORE

Brunel Women’s Hockey 1’s



Issue 7 2011/12