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LeftLion Magazine Issue 35 June - July 2010

editorial So we’re all quite excited about the World Cup here at LeftLion HQ. So much so that we asked Simon and Jason at Seismik Design to create us a cover and a wallchart for it. In case you’re wondering those faces on the front belong to Tommy Lawton, Brian Clough, Stuart Pearce, Des Walker and Jeff Astle. Four out of five of those were Nottingham-based players who represented England at the World Cup. The other is widely believed to be the best manager that never managed our national team.


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May Contain Notts The news diary that lolls about in its front garden in a thong with Up With The Cock by Judge Dread repeating on the stereo dead loud when the nearby girls school chucks out, and doesn’t give a toss LeftEyeOn Come and look at our lovely pictures of even lovelier Notts


Armando Iannucci Speaks His Brains The election, spoof media and crap TV


A Canadian in New Basford Our Rob might be foreign, but even he knows Frank Lampard is a useless fat get

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Putting the ‘Fun’ in Fundamentalism Arsher Ali, on Four Lions SongSmith Nina Smith – heart-breakingly good, and from round here


Big Ron Ronika gobs off about her new EP and appearance at Splendour


Letters to Lowdham The bookshop owner who was also Alan Sillitoe’s pen pal

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Kasper Schmeichel Everyone considered him the keeper of the County - until he moved on. Here’s his last interview as a Magpie World Cup Wallchart Stick it on your wall, fill it in religiously, lose interest in it when England get knocked out of the quarter-finals


Artist Profiles Introducing artopen, a six-handed visual arts monster


Write Lion New poetry and an extra-large reviews section

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Music Reviews Nick Jonah Davies. Dog Is Dead, Gareth Hardwick, The Hell I Am, Kogumaza, Liam O’Kane, Souvaris and Spotlight Kid all get tabholed


Park Live Nine acts you should see at Splendour this year, and a mention of Shed Seven


Event Listings Everything worth seeing, doing, listening to and looking at over the next two months when the World Cup’s not on


Noshingham We ram various local eateries into our chatty maws until the brickwork runs down our chins


The Arthole Plus Notts Trumps, LeftLion Abroad and Rocky Horrorscopes

Technical Director Alan Gilby (

Cover and centrespread design Simon Dunn and Jason Holroyd of Seismik Design (

Literature Editor James Walker ( Music Editor Paul Klotschkow (

Illustrator Rob White (

Photography Editor Dominic Henry (

Photographers Rob Antill David Baird Ben Rawson Scott Wilson Charlotte Hueso

Art Director David Blenkey ( Marketing and Sales Manager Ben Hacking ( Art Editor Frances Ashton ( Film Editor Alison Emm (

Theatre Editor Adrian Bhagat (

Also in this issue we managed to get some time with Armando Iannucci, who was in Nottingham to receive an award at Broadway’s Screenlit Festival. Alongside him at the festival was television provocateur Chris Morris who had cast Nottingham-based Arsher Ali, a Nottinghambased actor in his new film Four Lions. So we thought it appropriate to have a chat with the lad. Oh and there’s the small matter of Sticky the freerunner’s body-busting antics running across Europe, as well as the Splendour Festival going on in July too. Not only will the Pet Shop Boys be in the house, but LeftLion will be there with our own stage as usual. So we put some questions to Nina Smith and Ronika, who you can catch at the festival – as well as offering a preview of the wider event in our listings section.

Contributors Alistair Catterall Rob Cutforth Ashley Clivery Alex Davis Al Draper Rosie Garner Cal Gibson Adele Harrison Robin Lewis Eric Manchester Roger Mean Sarah Morrison MulletProofPoet Beane Noodler Aly Stoneman Nik Storey Andrew Trendall Ant Whitton Bianca Winter

Sub-editors Al Needham ( Nathan Miller (

So, if you’re repping England in the World Cup this summer then you should seriously consider buying one of our Three LeftLions t-shirts from Not only do they look skill and are made to the highest ethical standards, but they will also get you a free pint of Carlsberg at every England game at the Rescue Rooms. Assuming that England don’t fluff it at the group stage then you could even make a profit on them.

Apart from all this, in these pages there are all the usual features you know and love us for. See you again in early August – when hopefully we’ll be basking in the glory of a World Cup win. Somehow I doubt it though…

credits Editor in Chief Jared Wilson (

Continuing on the football trend, I managed to grab possibly the last interview with Notts County player of the year Kasper Schmeichel before he left to go back to Denmark for the summer. As a Magpies fan I’m gutted he’s gone, but it’s nice to say a proper goodbye. Roll on next season!

Want to advertise in our pages? Email or phone Ben on 07984 275453 or visit

Podcast crew Paul Abbott John Anderson Timmy Bates Rosa Brough Mike Cheque Rich Crouch Jacob Daniel Will Forrest Kristi Genovese Jon Hall Dan Hardy Christopher Hough Robin Lewis Stuart Rogers Sam Vtekk Alex Walker Oli Ward Jack Wiles Jim Wheatley Congratulations to friends of LeftLion NJM and Niffer for him putting a bun in her oven. received twelve million page views during the last year. This magazine has an estimated readership of 40,000 people and is distributed to over 300 venues across the city of Nottingham. If your venue isn’t one of them, please contact Ben on 07984 275453 or email This magazine is printed on paper sourced from sustainable forests. Our printers are ISO 14001 certified by the British Accreditation Bureau for their environmental management.

Alistair Catterall

Book reviewer Alistair Catterall is a writer, a filmmaker and a poetry whore. He’s appeared in literary magazines and performed a great deal of live spoken word. His work has been described as “bleak, broken and beautiful” favouring the simple approach to capture the untouched moment. He’s the brains behind Aminus Productions and in this issue, has added book reviews to his impressive CV.

Beatmasta Bill

Podcast producer Beatmasta Bill (aka Will Forrest) is a vital member of the LeftLion Podcasts team, mixing and producing many of the shows you hear online at podcasts. Aside from this he runs club nights under the eKlectic banner, DJs at the Rescue Rooms and has a degree in Music Technology. He’s also one of four promoters behind the Breakdown all-dayer at the Rescue Rooms on 19 June. Hear some of the fat beats he creates on the link below.


The 2010 General Election

Ah, general elections, you never let me down. I’d thought this whole campaign was going to be a dull and incredibly depressing victory lap, but the TV debates have turned everything proper bonkers haven’t they? NJM Only positive thing I can say about Nottingham East Candidate list is that it doesn’t include a British Nobhead Party Candidate. Tramorak I’m done with tactical voting... hopefully the rest of the country will think that too and be honest when they get into the booth. Timmy Murdoch has a lot to lose if the Tories don’t win. Cameron has basically promised to ruin the BBC in return for the Murdoch Empire supporting him in the election. If he loses, Murdoch’s titles look out of touch and he will have a poor relationship with whoever is running the country. Adrian

MAY CONTAIN NOTTS with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’ Al Needham

April 2010 - May 2010

9 April The Ladyboys of Bangkok start a three-week run in Derby. Okay, many questions here; why Derby, and not here? And why three weeks? What is it about Derby that it takes twenty-one whole days for the people of Derby who want to see this sort of thing become sated? Do the nobs get lobbed out, and do they do that thing I saw on my mate’s mobile the other night? 25 April Carl Froch loses his world title and his unbeaten record – to a Dane. Arse. 26 April Alan Sillitoe. Wasn’t he mint? 27 April Bus fares go up to £1.60 a ride and £3.20 for an Easy Rider. Fair enough, but because NCT buses still don’t give out change, the entire city is standing at bus stops fiddling in their trouser pockets like Gary Glitter at school sports day. What do they do with the extra money when you have to give ‘em two quid because the miserable cow at the paper shop won’t give you change? Does the garage on Parliament Street house a 30-foot piggy bank? I think we should be told.

Refusal to vote is not equivalent to apathy, but it’s indistinguishable from apathy, that’s the problem. Also, far-right fringe parties rely on low turnouts to make themselves look good - not voting for anybody is half a vote for the BNP NJM

1 May Notts County win League Two. May Contain Notts’ mate – a tediously rabid County fan - sees Johnnie Jackson and John Thompson on Heathcote Street and gives them a thumbs-up. Johnnie Jackson gives him the wanker sign. Looks like Johnnie Jackson just made himself an enemy of May Contain Notts and its lovely readers.

18 May A Nana from Clifton gets done by the Council by draping her street with so many England flags that, when viewed on Google Earth, the entire estate looks like it’s been self-harming. The Council say that you can’t hang things from lamp posts – such as flags, washing, tied-up pairs of trainers and someone who everyone thinks is a paedophile because he waved at a child once – but later relent and agree to put them back. And rightly so, because God knows how many times I’ve walked through Clifton and thought; “Oh no, this place is so continental and eclectic, I’ve forgotten where I am. Is it Milan? Barcelona? Sao Paulo? Oh hang on, there’s 79 England flags on that house, all with ‘ENGLAND’ written on them. I must be in Clifton.” Dunno why the Council bothered, anyway – by the time you read this, it’ll be time to put her Xmas decorations up.

I think it’s fair to say that as far as the state is concerned, voting is as close as we get to democratic participation. However, it’s a far cry from real democracy. I mean, you don’t take opinion polls on the NHS, Afghanistan, Iraq, housing and economics. M_B

2 May Bluu closes its doors for the last time, signalling the death knell for pub crawls around that courtyard in the Lace Market. And I know why; because they had the roundest, drink-slipping-on-thefloor-before-you’ve-even-had-a-sip tables. You might as well have put your pint on a spider’s web cast between two twigs.

19 May On Football Manager 2010, May Contain Notts orders a coaches report on Johnnie Jackson, just out of interest, and discovers that ‘Dave Kevan believes Johnnie Jackson has poor intelligence on the football pitch’. Notice that MCN didn’t imply that, Johnnie – it was Computer Dave Kevan.

Today’s front page of the Sun! I haven’t got ages to go on about this, but the juxtaposition of Cameron as ‘the new Obama’ sickens me and is wrong on so many levels. Jared

3 May May Contain Notts starts a game of Football Manager 2010 and takes charge of Notts County, so it can look at Johnnie Jackson’s stats. And oh dear, it appears that under the heading ‘Long Throws’, Johnnie Jackson only gets 6 out of 20. Did you hear that, Johnnie? Football Manager 2010 is saying that you throw like a girl.

20 May Russell Crowe comes out with some right minge about Robin Hood. “I believe he was associated with Nottingham but he wasn’t born anywhere near Sherwood –I think it was Barnsdale,” he says, out of his manky jacket potato of a face. “The facts, if you can call them that, all point to that.” No, Russ; the facts - and you can definitely call them that, because they’re TRUE – all point to you trying to cover up the fact that YOU WERE TOO BUSY PRETENDING TO BE A HAPPY SHOPPER OLIVER REED, AS USUAL, TO LEARN HOW TO DO A NOTTINGHAM ACCENT. What you said was no different to the director of a third-rate school production of Under Milk Wood saying; “Well, it’s a little known fact that Dylan Thomas set the play in a village in Pakistan, actually.” What are you going to do in the sequel, Russ – put on a Derby shirt and make our icon sound even more like Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot, you useless bell-end?

Some will say that if you don’t vote you have no right to complain, but to shun the sham of parliamentary democracy in favour using our hearts, minds, energy and time to make real change in this society is no bad thing. M_B

This was the first election where I was still pretty undecided walking in to the polling station Daysleeper I love that picture of Nigel Farage in the wreckage of the plane. I’ve wished for a nasty death for him many times. Hope he gets better soon so I can start wishing him dead again. Adrian Hung Parliament is official; no party can get a majority. Alan Well, by all accounts this looks like it’s going to be an interesting couple of years ahead for politics. Metal Monkey Ultimately I think this is a complete gift to Labour. Gives time for them to rid the electoral millstone that Brown has become and an opportunity to improve their standing. transmetropolitan Whenever I hear ‘squatting in Downing Street’ my mind suggests a serious bowel issue. Is Gordon just decorating the carpet for the new PM? Timmy Well, the Tories are in. We can now look forward to massive cuts in the arts, education and Working Tax Credits. Say hello to mass unemployment, destruction of the working classes and trade unions once again and massive tax breaks for the wealthy. Samyouwell Iain Duncan Smith in charge of benefits and Theresa May in charge of equality is actually taking the piss. NJM

5 May In anticipation of the new Robin Hood film, the Post asks some kids in Bestwood what they know about him. They might as well have asked my cat about the pros and cons of proportional representation. “Our school was named after him, so he’s got to be real” says eight year-old K-Ci (pauses, stares into distance, shakes head, resumes typing). And who do they think should play Robbo in a film? “Ashley Cole could be Robin Hood and Cheryl Cole Maid Marian” says (pauses, puts head in hands, has bit of a cry, resumes typing) K-Ci. 7 May The election results roll in, with the Broxtowe and Sherwood district barely turning Conservative. Nice work, Lib Dem voters – like what you voted in, you nobs? 10 May With the country still in chaos over the hung parliament mither, May Contain Notts spells out a solution on Radio Nottingham in its country’s hour of need; that they settle it the Top Valley way with a massive game of Releevio. The Tory and Labour MPs sort out dens - the infant school playground and the subway that smells a bit like wee would do – while Lib Dem and other minor party MPs get ten minutes to leg it and hide. Any MP captured and frogmarched back to either party’s den automatically joins that party until all the spare MPs are captured. Any MPs spotted outside the designated area (such as round the back of Big D or in the Duke of St Albans) are made to roll about in dog turds. Any MPs from any party called in for tea by their Mam automatically lose their seat. And whoever manages to get hold of David Cameron, Gordon Brown or Nick Clegg and pull their pants down in the street automatically wins. 11 May Forest. Oh dear.

21 May Oh, and hear that noise in the distance, Russ? That faint sound in the distant, reminiscent of Woody Woodpecker having a coughing fit? That’s Kevin Costner laughing at you. 22 May May Contain Notts, on Football Manager 2010, calls five press conferences in a row to criticise the poor form of Johnnie Jackson, even though he’s been on the reserves subs bench for the past two months.”If Johnnie puts in as much effort on the training ground as he does making masturbatory gestures at the people who pay his wages, then I might consider giving him a game,” said MCN, in that text box they’ve put in at the bottom. 23 May It’s revealed that the Ladyboys of Bangkok are coming to the Market Square for a whole week in June. YES YES YES YES! Er, I mean, good to see that a cultural event such as this isn’t denied to the people of Nottingham. 25 May 2010 May Contain Notts finally gets bored and sells Johnnie Jackson to FC Baghdad for 23p and a bag of camel’s arseholes, and then

spends the rest of the night hysterically laughing and making wanker signs at the laptop.

14 May Robin Hood is released in two concurrent world premieres in Cannes and, er, the Cornerhouse. Cack accents. Big medieval Saving Private Ryan scene. The usual, really.

Why wait two months for your MCN fix, you big suckeh munkeh? The May Contain Notts newsletter is like someone tipping a bag of the most wonderful rammell on your desk every Friday, in between blatant plugs for the website and forum. Run to the internet, enter and sign up now. Now! 4


Cool shots from round Notts from the cream of the local photographers

Left to right from the top: Gruff - Summer’s here and this runaway goat was making the most of the lush new grass in the leafy countryside outside Nottingham. (Scott Wilson / Flickr: wilsonaxpe) Mid flight - outside Bestwood shops? Actually no, that bike ain’t nicked. The Bold Dog stunt riders were doing their thing at the Newark and Nottinghamshire county show on May 8. (Ben Rawson / Free running - Johnny ‘Sticky’ Budden is running 1000 miles from John O Groats to Paris and still has time to show off some Parkour moves round the castle and city. (Dom Henry / Market Square World - as seen by Yates’ drinkers after 16 pints of export. Or, talented photographers making Stereographs at 4am. (Rob Antill / Whitney Houston - held it together at The Arena on April 14, much to everyone’s relief, redeeming herself on at least one show on her widely-slated tour. (David Baird /


Armando Iannucci Speaks His Brains

words: Jared Wilson photo: David Baird

As a writer, producer, presenter and director, Armando Iannucci he has worked on On The Hour, The Day Today, I’m Alan Partridge, The Saturday Night Armistice and, most recently, The Thick of it – which spawned the movie spin-off In The Loop. We caught up with him when came to Nottingham to receive an award at the Broadway Cinema... What did you think to the televised debates? I think what they’ve done is fantastic - blowing the whole thing open is great. Although I slightly worry that from now on all politics will boil down to how presentable someone comes across in three 90 minute discussions, as opposed to the five years of work and policy that’s gone into it. However, I think in the last three or four elections policy was never discussed anyway. If anything, at least you get politics discussed on prime time TV three times for 90 minutes and watched by millions of people.

the subject matter. When you see it it’s very funny but it’s written in such a way that you're always onside with the story. Unlike what happened with Brass Eye then… I was on holiday when the paedophile special scandal happened. We were getting all these headlines and at the hotel shop, but these British newspapers were all three days out of date. What was quite funny was the response to the programme. That in itself seemed like a kind of satire. I remember listening to a man on the radio complaining about it, yet admitting that he hadn’t actually seen it. It was just like an episode of The Day Today, wasn’t it? Well, yes. The response to it just shows you that a lot of what we call controversy is actually manufactured. Its point scoring from people whose job it is to come up with the public anger for the day. When you started The Day Today it was very fresh. Did you realise how big that would become? We were all young and we hadn’t really done much. We thought we were onto something, but we thought it would be a little cult thing. We didn’t realise the impact that it would have or how big someone like Alan Partridge was going to become. It was hard work but there was no pressure or expectation as we were all unknown. Having the space to just be left to your own devices and able to pour all your energy into something felt really exciting. It was always a surprise when we opened a newspaper and saw a report about it.

You have received the Screenlit award for your writing. That must be quite an honour? Yes. It was great to be given the award. Though it’s slightly worrying in a way, because you start to think, is that it? Does that mean there’s not going to be anything else? Will it be all downhill from here? Your old mate Chris Morris was also around for the festival, launching his new film Four Lions. Yes. I saw the film in January and it’s great. We still do the odd little quiet thing together and we are always showing each other our stuff. We last worked together on Stewart Lee’s stand up show last year. The trouble is that whenever you do a project on your own it takes eighteen

months and finding that time where you’re both completely free is very difficult. I imagine it will be the one-off projects that we do from now on. Chris has become seen as some kind of terrorist within the establishment. Everything that he does is very controversial, whereas you’re a bit more establishmentfriendly… I think we make it controversial together rather than him just wanting to cause controversy. With something like Four Lions he was out to do a comedy that came from the perspective of these people being amateurs and in fact, he went to a lot of trouble to ensure the details of it were accurate. The only controversy comes from people who make assumptions about

Where did the ideas come from? Did you sit around and watch loads of news, and think ‘this is just ridiculous?’ There was certainly a bit of that. What Chris and I liked were the things which looked very real and authentic but actually were complete bollocks from start to finish. The more serious and more honest you make them, the more ridiculous and funny they become. That was the starting point. It wasn’t like we had a manifesto about news values and the duplicity that goes into editing the news. We were just trying to think of another format to tell jokes. Fundamentally, it’s a sketch show. But, we didn’t want it to look like a sketch show; we wanted it to look very real. What crap TV have you been watching recently? I’ve been watching a lot of the election stuff, unfortunately. I’ve become a bit of an election junkie.

Let’s talk about The Thick of It. The character of Malcolm Tucker clearly owes a lot to Alistair Campbell. Did you intentionally base that on him and were other characters based on politicians? Obviously it’s inspired by Campbell but it’s an amalgamation of him, Mandelson and all the other spin doctors of this world. There’s a whole load of them who you don’t know about, a whole back room of people in Number 10 whose job it is to go out and twist arms and tell Ministers what the party line is. Cameron has got one in his party right now, Andy Coulson, who used to run the News of the World. I never wanted it to be an impression of anyone and that’s why we don’t say which party it is that Malcolm works for. It was really just trying to capture the atmosphere of that kind of working environment. How did you research the show? I just talked to people and most were very happy to talk back. I actually wanted to know the dull stuff like what time does the Minister get up every morning and who carries his bags, or if the editor of the Daily Mail rang who would take his call - that kind of thing. You get just little details, like I spoke to a few female excabinet ministers and they all said you need to wear comfortable shoes because you're running everywhere, so forget your high heels. A very interesting thing is when someone comes up to you and asks “How did you find that out, I thought I kept that quiet?” You just make things up, but some of them have happened in real life and it’s just an intelligent guess based on what we know. You gave David Cameron a good slating in your book The Audacity of Hype and he’ll probably be our Prime Minister by the time this is published. Does that scare you? No. I don’t think he’s scared of me. So I’m not going to be scared of him either. The Screenlit festival took place at Broadway Cinema from 21-29 April 2010. You can follow Armando Iannucci on Twitter at

Cafe.Bar.Live Every Saturday eight ‘til late - Entrance Free

Cafe.Bar.Contemporary at Nottingham Contemporary


Weekday Cross Nottingham NG1 2GB +44 (0)115 9489754

Yunioshi How to Survive a Robot Uprising 29 May 2010, 8.00pm ‘til late Cafe Du Monde 05 June 2010, 8.00pm ‘til late Maniere des Bohemiens 12 June 2010, 8.00pm ‘til late Mas Y Mas 19 June 2010, 8.00pm ‘til late

Charles Washington Quartet 26 June 2010, 8.00pm ‘til late Deli Live Jazz 03 July 2010, 8.00pm ‘til late Maniere des Bohemiens 10 July 2010, 8.00pm ‘til late full gig details on our website:


We find the only immigrant in the country that really is offended by the site of an England flag. Has anybody got the phone number of The Daily Mail? When I worked at a petrol station in high school back home, we had a number of Maple Leaf flags dotted all around the forecourt. One day, an old fella came in, pointed at one of the flags and sneered, “That flag is a disgrace!” “What do you mean?” I asked, thinking he must be some flag-hating, anti-government nut. “What I mean is that young men died for that flag and you don’t have the decency to fly it properly. Just look at the state of it!” You would’ve thought we’d lit the flag on fire and put it out by projectile vomiting on it. If you lowered the Hubble Telescope to gas pump level and pointed it straight at that flag, you’d only just make out the three threads flapping awry at the corner. No matter how many times we replaced them, we always got complaints about the state of our flags. So I can only imagine what one of those geriatric Canuckian flagspotters would say if we’d ever written 'World Cup Special! Fish, Chips & Mushy Peas for £2.99!' in scratchy black felt tip across the flag, like they do at my local chippy. No true patriotic English footy fan is happy with the national flag as it is. It needs additions; accompaniments, if you will. The English flag is the tapas of national flags; the more added bits, the better. 'Nottingham Forest Football Club' is four words and there are four white rectangles on the English flag. Frankly, it would be an insult to maths not to fill them in. Along with vandalising flags, people who love England grow potbellies and shave their heads. I assume this is homage to Churchill; He was morbidly obese, bald as a bean, and he really loved England, I hear. Obviously, tall, skinny, hairy people must hate England, like, say, Russell Brand. Just look at him - I bet he doesn’t even own a top hat. Kate Moss is obviously another rabid Blighty despiser - not once have I ever seen her work a monocle into her ensemble. Osama Bin Laden, Jesus, Shaggy from Scooby Doo…the list of skinny, hairy anti-Anglos goes on and on. Personally, I find most blatant displays of patriotism gaginducing especially during the World Cup, but it can be a good thing in small measures. The people I really don’t understand are the ones who don’t care about the England team at all. People who avoid watching the World Cup and who actually whinge about it taking up so much TV time - What is wrong with you? I don’t care if you’re depressed that England lose every time, or hooliganism makes you cringe, or if you hate Frank Lampard (who doesn’t?) - there is simply no excuse for not supporting your national side. Forget this community-volunteering BS Cameron keeps parping on about; watching England play in the World Cup with your mates should be required by law. I actually had a mate of mine, a Manchester United fan, say to me, “I hope England lose.” He was more concerned about Rooney getting injured than England winning the biggest trophy on earth. Colonials will never understand this. You will never hear an American say; “Daggummit, what dang fool put all this dang track and field on my ding-dang picture box?” If the US had a decent Jai Alai team, Jai Alai fever would sweep the nation. Have you ever heard an Aussie sniveling about all the swimming on TV during the Olympics? Take me, for example; I am not what one would call sporty. I’m a stumpy Canadian geek with the athleticism of a Teletubby and the coordination of a three-toed sloth on meow meow. I avoid playing sport like the plague, but that doesn’t stop me from watching Canada compete. In fact, when Canada won the ice hockey gold at the Winter games last February, I actually cried. Cried!


Perhaps you do want to participate in the World Cup revelry and drunken pub conversations but you know nothing of the England team. Let me give you a few pre-World Cup tips that will help get you up to speed: 1. Peter Crouch is aptly named, as he’s the only player who needs to crouch down to head balls in. He’s the guy that disappears when he turns sideways, which is why he is able to sneak into the box without being seen by the defenders. 2. David Beckham is the guy attending the World Cup in place of the WAGs. To keep the players from missing their wives too much, David’s going to orange his face up and stagger around the dressing room in high heels, pausing from his coke and G&T sessions just long enough to give John Terry a half-time hand-job. 3. Lampard and Gerrard go together like polar bears and armadillos. Lamps and Stevie G are two creatures that cannot exist together in the natural world. The only place they have any business being within 100 feet of each other is in an artificial environment like the zoo. Or Benidorm. 4. If you really do hate the England team and cannot watch them without booing, simply restrict your boos to whenever Ashley Cole touches the ball. No one will pay you any notice. In fact, it might get you laid.

5. Wayne Bridge is the idiot watching the World Cup from his couch because he traded his England career for a big, pink diamond tiara awarded every year to the biggest drama queen on earth. It really is a lot of fun to be involved, from the absurd hope at the beginning of the competition all the way to the communal whinging when England go out on penalties. Singing songs, binge drinking and spouting borderline racist banter in the office - what’s not to like? Sure, you will be doused in cheap lager at some point, you may be on the wrong end of a shouting match or two, you’ll be embarrassed by other drunken English footy fans and, yes, your town centre will be transformed into a 24-hour townie-barf hell, but believe me, it could be worse: you could be supporting the Canadian soccer team. Read more from Rob at

Putting The ‘Fun’ In Fundamentalism

words: Alison Emm

Arsher Ali is the latest local actor to break through big style, with a stunning film debut in Chris Morris’ terrorist satire Four Lions. We cornered him in Lee Rosy’s and questioned him about his career and what it’s like to work with the man himself, without resorting to waterboarding... So whereabouts in Notts are you from? I grew up mostly in New Basford but now I’m based in Sherwood and London. I can straight out say that I prefer Nottingham. There are places in London that I like; there’s something nice about the South Bank on a mild night looking out onto the Thames with the lights, trees and the National Theatre. But that’s just one place in a massive city. Here, you can walk around and you just feel like you’re home. Do you think that being Asian helps or hinders you getting roles? I think both. If you’re a white actor my age you’ve got about 10,000 other people going for the same role, but if you’re an Asian actor the pool is a bit smaller. That’s a good and a bad thing though. I’ve been quite lucky in that I have had roles that have been written for white people or someone non-specific. If you’ve got an imaginative casting director they see past your colour. Anything you do is up to these guys, they’re the ones who decide. Before this you’d done quite a lot of Shakespearean acting… Yeah, I spent about a year and a half at the Royal Shakespeare Company. It was amazing and I’m glad I did, but being a newbie and going straight into the RSC you’re not exactly offered a lot to do. I was lucky because my contract gave me a bit of progression and more responsibility, where I was playing Oberon and Theseus in Midsummer Night’s Dream. Stratford’s great and it’s a real remedy to London. But I’m not going to lie, I did go a bit insane. It’s a lovely place to visit but it’s very middle England, very Daily Mail. There’s a small minority that object to black actors playing monarchs, but I was aware of it. Where’s your favourite place to hang out in Nottingham? Lee Rosy’s, Broadway and also Alley Café because they do the vegetarian and vegan friendly stuff. I’m a part time vegan - I don’t have dairy but sometimes at home my Mum will have cooked with meat. You can’t say no when it is made for you, “No, no, no. Can I just have some chickpeas?” Nah. How did you first get into acting? I dunno… just randomly.  I’m glad that’s how it worked out for me, I didn’t chase after it; it fell into my lap and felt right. I didn’t question it, I just threw myself into it.

You won the Laurence Olivier Student Award in 2005 - how did that come about? Every UK drama school nominates a male and a female from their final year to take part and it’s a fight to the death for £7.5k. I had no idea what it was before I got into it, it was bizarre but it gave me a taste of what was going to come once I had left drama school. It helped me out and also the drama school I went to wasn’t one of the established clique powerhouses so it was nice to give it some exposure and stick the fingers up to RADA and places like that. Who are your inspirations then? There are the obvious American actors but there’s no point even name checking them because you know who they are. Then people like Daniel Day-Lewis and Gary Oldman and David Thewlis in Naked – that’s one of my favourite films – and his performance in that is absolute. That’s a performance which makes you think you should just pack it in because what he does is absolutely ridiculous. Paddy Considine is great; in A Room for Romeo Brass I spent most of the film thinking he’s a buffoon and then realised he’s a dangerous buffoon.  What about British directors? Michael Winterbottom and Shane Meadows, I like their style and I rate Mike Leigh.  A lot of these British directors are quite cliquey – I hope Chris Morris doesn’t turn out to be like that. Actually, I do!  I hope Chris becomes one of those cliquey British directors because I would be part of that clique. What was Chris Morris like to work with? He has this crazy, enthusiastic intelligence and wit that rubs off on everyone. You’d try something and he’d immediately know how to make it funny. It was uncanny because he’d be able to improvise in your character’s voice so it got to a point where you’d dread him coming over because he’d make everyone piss themselves. You just thought, “I’ve got to do that now. Why don’t you just do it?” He was very hands on and happy to let things reel off and just go with things because ultimately there might be something funny in it.  Did you have to audition for Four Lions? Yes and no. Chris was one of the first people that I met when I left drama school.  I was told by my agent to be at this place to meet a casting director and then half an hour before I got there

I got another call saying “Oh, and Chris Morris is going to be there.” I was like, “What! The Chris Morris?” I went in and there he was with his wild hair like a crazed Sideshow Bob genius. We had to do lots of improvisations and were used as sounding boards for other actors, unofficially auditioning people as well as being auditioned ourselves. So you were aware of his work before working with him? Years ago me and my friends at Haywood School would stay up late and watch Brass Eye and then come in and talk about it the next day. Other people at school would be like, “Hey, what you talking about? What’s Brass Eye?” And we’d be all nonchalant and go “Oh, forget it…” So how did it actually feel to portray a terrorist, albeit in a jokey way? It was fine. About 50% of the roles I get offered are that kind of clichéd, lost between two worlds all “hey, I’m doing it for my brothers” and I just say “no” off the bat. Four Lions is the be all and end all of the terrorist thing. I’m glad I’ve done it because I’ve kind of gone, bang, turned it on its head, made everyone talk about it and got them to re-evaluate how they think of it and now I don’t have to go there anymore. What do you say to the people that tried to stop it being shown? We were never out to offend people. The starting point was all the research Chris had done where he found lots of little hilarious stories. Like the story of a bunch of guys who wanted to blow up a US ship off the coast of somewhere.  They’d set the charge and filled it with explosives and then it sank.  So Chris asked us: “Who says what in that situation?  Who was the first to speak and what did they say? What’s the expression on their faces?” In a way it’s also a parallel to films like The Ladykillers and all those Ealing comedies that were quite controversial at the time too. What are you working on at the minute? I’m doing a stint on Silent Witness and the thing I’m most excited is a BBC 3 pilot that I did that’s coming out in June called Pulse. It’s a medical horror; conspiracy theories and shady happenings in a hospital where you’re never quite sure what’s going on.  I’m hoping it’ll become a series but it depends on audience reaction.


SongSmith Words: Paul Klotschkow Photo: Charlotte Hueso

With the kind of voice that can make grown men cry, Nina Smith is one of the latest talents to come out of Big Trev’s Community Recording Studios in St Anns. She fuses traditional songwriting with a hip-hop edge, collaborating with rappers and beatboxers to make something more interesting than the standard female singer-songwriter fare. Get used to hearing her name… What’s your relationship with Nottingham? More lovers than friends - it’s like I’m married to this city. I want a divorce from it but don’t fancy stumping up the money for the settlement.   How and why did you start making music? I enjoyed singing from an early age, I wasn’t particularly that good at it... my dad used to say I sing out of my nose. But I wanted to be good at it and passed a demo onto a teacher at school. He introduced me to CRS studios, where I met producer Nick Stez and music manager Big Trev.   Tell us about some of the people you have collaborated with… Collaborations are the main thing I enjoy doing - it’s great practice. The first one I ever did was for C-Mone, I felt so lucky to be featured on her album as she’s so well respected. My latest feature is for Scor-Zay-Zee and his new album... it’s a secret though so don’t tell anybody! Is there anyone you would just love to work with? Florence and the Machine. Even if I shook a tambourine in one of her songs, I would embrace it fully! You’re playing the LeftLion stage at Splendour this year. Looking forward to it? Yes of course. I’m going to look at it as a round-off gig, as I’m back in the studio now and I plan on touring and promoting, hopefully, on a larger scale next year. But this event will be fantastic for experience and local exposure.  


What can we expect from your set? This particular set will be acoustic, with some old songs, some new ones and a cover thrown in there somewhere as well. If Motormouf is available I might call him in to bring the hip-hop to the pop.  

“The organiser of the event interrupted my set halfway through to ask if anyone had ordered a sausage cob“

Do you ever get nervous when playing live? I do, so a vodka and coke is always close by to calm me down. If that doesn’t work I move to the whisky.   What do you enjoy about playing live? Meeting new people, although its one of the hardest things to do for me at events because adrenaline and nerves turns me into a potato. I become lifeless and unsociable, it’s not until after the performance that I can relax and talk rubbish with strangers.   And what is the worst thing about playing live? Sticky floors, tripping hazards, and stalkers.  

What do you feel has been the best or most enjoyable gig you’ve played (either in Nottingham or elsewhere)? Definitely at the Shaws bar for last year’s Hockley Hustle. So many people turned up it was crazy. I couldn’t even get through the audience to the stage. Overwhelming!   Have you had any nightmare performances? Not so much a nightmare performance, but more of a funny one. It was at a community hall in Sherwood. The organiser of the event interrupted my set halfway through to ask the audience if anyone had ordered a sausage cob. It was so funny.   Tell me something that you have never told anyone before? Me and my twin sister Katie ran away when we were little, but it was too cold so we went back home. Our parents didn’t even notice we had gone. Nina Smith plays at Breakdown at the Rescue Rooms on Saturday 19 June and on the LeftLion stage at Splendour on Saturday 24 July.

Bi g Ron

Words: Paul Klotschkow

Ronika is one of the new stars of the local scene, creating sugarcoated dance-pop melodies with a concealed intelligence within. With a new EP out now and a slot on the main stage at Splendour, expect to hear more from her...  How did you start making music? I started writing soul-inspired tunes on guitar when I was fifteen. I loved Curtis Mayfield and Sly Stone. Then I went on to study sound engineering and got into DJing and producing music - making electro inspired by Tiga, the Hacker and Kraftwerk.   Who are your influences? Shannon, Gwen Guthrie, Tom Tom Club, Prince, Chaka Khan, KRS-One, The Sequence, Acid House, early Madonna, Kool Keith, Arther Russell, Frank Zappa, Vitalic and LCD Soundsystem.   Any non-musical influences? I read a lot for inspiration. I love Nabakov, Bukowski, Barthelme and Heller.   You’re holding a Roberta Flack LP on the cover of your new EP. Is she a particular favourite? Yes she is. That record is from Rob’s Record Mart and cost me 50p.   You’re also sat in a laundrette with a basket full of vinyl. Is this how you clean your records or is there a deeper meaning? I’m wearing sequins and washing my vinyl at the laundrette - mixing the glamour disco with English small town mundanity. I also did an OAP rollerdisco photo shoot where I was roller skating around a sleepy suburban street wearing hotpants and carrying a walking stick.   Who have you worked with on the EP? I co-produced Do or Die with the brilliant Joe Buhdha. It was a total meeting of minds musically, as we have so many shared influences and inspired each other. Paper Scissors and Stone features local jazz singer Charles Washington on vocals

who has a gorgeous soulful voice and Honey Benjamin on bass - injecting the funk.   The EP is the first release for a brand new label. Tell us more… I set up my own label and it’s called RecordShop. It’s in collaboration with a team of creative people who are based at Shop on Canning Circus. The place is a collective of fashion designers, film makers, photographers, artists and web designers. It’s a real creative hub for Notts.   What has been your proudest achievement so far? Every time I finish a tune I feel a massive sense of relief and achievement which lasts for a couple of hours. Then I have to start the next one.   Are you looking forward to playing the Main Stage at Splendour this year? Massively! Opening the same stage as the Pet Shop Boys is really special for me as I grew up listening to them and they are a big inspiration.   What can we expect from your set? I’m gonna ride in on a deer and hopefully get the stuffed gorilla from Wollaton Hall on stage for a dance.   Will we be hearing any more new Ronika music any time soon? I have an album bubbling away waiting to explode. It will be a lava flow bloodbath of disco that will chase you down the street until your feet melt.

Do you have any tips for people looking to make their own music? Be prepared to put in the time and effort. Nothing good is ever easy.   What do you like to do on a night out in Nottingham? Food at Alley Café, film at Broadway, cake at Lee Rosy’s, drink at Moog, then a fight in the Market Square.   If you were to die and were reincarnated, what would you like to come back as? The right lion. Then I could gaze at the left lion forever.   Ronika plays the main stage at Splendour on Saturday 24 July. Her debut EP Do or Die/Paper Scissor Stone is available to buy from

NTU MAXIMUM: NTUMA EXPO 2010 NTUMAXIMUM NTUMAXIMUMEXPO NTUMAXIMUMEXPO2010 NTUMAXIMUMEXPO2010NTU MAXIMUMEXPO2010NTUMA XIMUMEXPO2010NTUMAXIMUM EXPO2010NTUMAXIMUMEXPO 2010NTUMAXIMUMEXPO2010 NTUMAXIMUMEXPO2010 MAXIMUMEXPO2010 XIMUMEXPO2010 EXPO2010 2010 The School of Art & Design presents a celebration of the work of 2010 Masters students across a richly diverse range of art and design practice.

Public View (admission free): July 16 – 17 and 19 – 24 Opening times: 11am – 4pm

Location: School of Art & Design, Bonington Building, Dryden Street, Nottingham NG1 4GG Further Information about Postgraduate Opportunities in Art & Design: email: tel: 0115 848 8433

Letters to Lowdham words: James Walker

When we heard about the death of Alan Sillitoe we decided to do something that captured the spirit and values of the man and one name kept cropping up in our discussions - Jane Streeter. Jane runs The Bookcase in Lowdham, an independent bookshop formed in 1996. She also helps run the Lowdham Book Festival and her tireless quest to offer an alternative to bland commercial retailers and support local writers was recently recognised when she was appointed President of the Booksellers Association. Arthur Seaton would have raised a glass to her defiant determination and so it was no surprise that Sillitoe himself had been her pen friend for the last decade... Tell us how you got to run an independent bookshop? I worked in bookselling in London after leaving Uni – it was the only thing I ever wanted to do. I moved back to Nottingham in 1987 and had a career break to have my three children. We bought a house in Lowdham and then a small shop came up for lease in 1996 and I hoped someone would open a bookshop so that I could get a part-time job. That someone turned out to be me and the job turned out to be a bit more than part-time.   What can an independent bookshop offer that a chain can’t? We never try to compete on discount but we hope we compete on service. I have a great team of seven dedicated booksellers and we all share the same high standards of what we want for our customers. We never say no and we go the extra mile in our approach. Plus we serve delicious free coffee!   Does size matter? Because the shop is small we offer a well-chosen eclectic selection of titles which you may not find in a bigger shop. We use wholesalers who deliver daily so most orders can be fulfilled in 24 hours - which still amazes people. Basically we want to be a one-stop shop and to encourage people to shop locally. We are so lucky to have fantastically loyal customers who understand the importance of independent local shops. We also take part in all book trade activities and I’m really honoured at the moment as I’ve taken up the role of President of the Booksellers Association of Great Britain – the first time a small independent bookseller has done it. I hope it proves that being independent doesn’t mean you can’t have a voice.   You do a lot of book launches - how can authors get involved? Just give me a call and we will provide the wine and the venue. We’ve held several now, including some self-published, and they have been really happy occasions. It gives the author a chance to celebrate their books and it gives us the opportunity to support them. What can we look forward to at the Lowdham Book Festival this year? This is the eleventh year and it’s been an amazing adventure. From very small beginnings when Ross Bradshaw and I started running events together it has grown out of all recognition.  This year we have a really interesting mix of events including David Almond on writing for young adults, Simon Hughes at Caythorpe Cricket Club and John Harvey and Jon McGregor (see reviews on page 20) on the books which have shaped their lives. And of course the final Saturday is always free.


How do you fund it? We have had incredibly generous funding for the past ten years from NCC, the Arts Council and others. This has given us the opportunity to establish the festival in the Nottinghamshire literary calendar, and this year we are enjoying the challenge of being largely self-sustaining. We've got really good partnerships with local businesses, including Gonalston Farm Shop and Mainline Travel, and we also really appreciate the support of Writing East Midlands and our publisher partners. Let’s not forget all of our volunteers who work really hard with us to make the festival happen. That’s one of the main joys – sharing the adventure with people who really want it to work.  

“He was cheeky, there was usually a glint in his eye and most conversations and letters would end on a note of frivolity sometimes followed by a cigar together” What’s your fondest memory of the book festival? My fondest memory has to be of the very first event back in 2000. We opened with an interview with Alan Sillitoe in the Village Hall. We sold out and I remember sitting at the back, looking round at all the people and feeling an incredible sense of pride in this community. It was a moment I will never forget. We soon became good friends and I think we shared a Nottingham sense of humour. I was really delighted when he agreed that our small publishing arm, Bookcase Editions, should reissue one of his out of print titles, Leading the Blind.   How did your friendship with him develop? I wrote to Alan to thank him for appearing at the festival and he replied. It was as simple as that. We wrote regularly, probably once a month, for several years. The letters were always handwritten and I enjoyed seeing his writing on the envelopes when a letter arrived. He sent postcards from his trips abroad too, always with a funny anecdote or some elaborate story which he liked to entertain me with.  He was always telling stories, the more fanciful the better and he had an incredible imagination. We had serious discussions too, about his childhood, his beliefs, his love of books and which ones had shaped his life. Also about his early years as a writer

and how he got to where he was. I was fascinated and honoured to hear his story in his own words, so personally. How would you describe him as a person? He was cheeky, there was usually a glint in his eye and most conversations and letters would end on a note of frivolity sometimes followed by a cigar together. I think he had a zest for life and for people – but in an unassuming way. I don’t think he would have been easily swayed on anything, he was a man of strong views and with a real sense of staying true to his roots.  He was very close to his family and would often bring Brian, his brother, to the bookshop. Customers were amazed. It’s hard to sum him up, but I feel really lucky to have been his friend and I will always remember his kind support for the shop and his wonderful charming wit. He remained a humble man despite his huge success.   Why is he important to Nottingham? That’s a big question. He is important in reminding us of our city’s heritage, the industrial backdrop and the culture of youth.  There was an energy and passion in Alan which I think came from the backstreets of his childhood. He always loved the Radford pubs, unless they played music, and stayed quietly loyal to his family. His writing has placed Nottingham firmly in the literary landscape of our generation and he is known internationally as a writer with a deep understanding of the times he lived in.   How would you like to see him remembered? With as many physical reminders as possible - a statue, a literary trail and a permanent exhibition somewhere prominent. I wonder what he would have liked – he’d probably be very amused at the idea of a statue. But we need to keep him with us – not sentimentally, but as a symbol of what is possible in life. He came from a home without books to becoming one of the great literary men of our time, and we must try very hard to find an appropriate way to celebrate that achievement.   More information about the shop at Lowdham Book Festival runs from 18 -26 June 2010.

Galleries 1 & 2 Weekday Cross Nottingham NG1 2GB Lace Market Tram Stop

FREE Open: Tue - Fri 10am - 7pm Sat and Bank Holidays 10am - 6pm Sun 11am - 5pm Closed on Mondays

Gert & Uwe Tobias Galleries 3 & 4

Diane Arbus Artist Rooms on Tour with The Art Fund

Image courtesy of Gert and Uwe Tobias, Maureen Paley, London and Contemporary Fine Arts, Berlin. NC logo by Ryan Gander

Sticky ’s Tricky Mission

words: Jared Wilson  photos: Dominic Henry

Sticky, aka Johnny Budden, is a parkour artist who has been on the LeftLion radar since we first did a photoshoot with him back in 2005. Since then he’s gone on to train film stars like Jude Law, been flown around the world to show off his talents and has sponsorship deals with dozens of global companies. But right now he’s undertaking a monster of a challenge: to cover over a thousand miles on foot for charity, from John O’Groats to Lands End and then onto Paris… You’re a Nottingham lad, aren’t you? Yes. I grew up in West Bridgford and then moved to Beeston. I went to the Beckett School and when I got home I’d go out training. I was playing at county level for quite a few sports and it got to the point that my Dad said that I needed to specialise in a sport. So what made you choose parkour? I saw a BBC commercial with one of the guys who started parkour and I felt visually lifted. So I started doing it myself and as I got better I was commuting a lot to Paris, Birmingham and London to train with other guys. This was when parkour was a baby, and if you were to tell people about it, they wouldn’t have a clue what it was.   Where did this idea for the 1,000 miles come from? You were training up the Royal Marines, right?  Yes. That’s not really where the idea came from, but that’s where I realised I had potential I wasn’t using. The Marines need to get around efficiently so they called on us to teach them the fundamental moves of parkour like getting over walls and low obstacles and things like that.  In return for that they said I should come to their base and go through the Green Beret tests and I managed to get through it first time.     You take this very seriously, you don’t drink and you work out every day…  Yes. It’s a whole lifestyle.  People do parkour for different reasons. Some people do it because they want to get out of the office and have a bit of a blast in the evening. For me and all the people I train with, it’s all our lifestyle. It’s like how you wake up in the morning and make sunny days really sunny and wet days seem wettest. Your body is a temple. But it’s the only temple where you have to wear your trainers. It’s all about finding limits and pushing them and pushing them. Every guy realises what is and what isn’t possible for them through experience and I think I've finally done that.    


Do you still train with Sebastian Foucan (one of the sport’s founders)? Sebastian is going to be at the Eiffel Tower waiting for me at the end of this mission. The Eiffel Tower is the final public place and once I’ve touched that I will feel like I’ve finally arrived in Paris. After that I will run to the place where parkour came from which is further out of Paris. So why did you choose to do this in aid of Motor Neurone Disease?  I first thought about other charities like the British Heart Foundation and Cancer Research.  But a friend of the family, a GP in North Wales, asked me if I’d thought about doing it in aid of the Motor Neurone Disease charity. I started researching it and watching videos and I was absolutely gobsmacked. You hear interviews of people who have the disease and they feel so imprisoned in their own bodies. So I thought that my movement could be used to help their lack of movement.

“Your body is a temple. But it’s the only temple where you have to wear your trainers.” What are the rules? I’m going to start the run with an ultra marathon and run 100 miles from John O’Groats to kick off the whole event. That will be non-stop and will take over 24 hours, so I won’t be able to sleep or anything like that. Then I will carry on running until I get to the first city, which will be Inverness. Then I show people some parkour, jumping off subways, balancing on railings and all the other stuff you’ve seen us do on TV. So where you stop running is where you sleep?  Yes. I couldn’t live with myself if I were to get into a car or taxi for literally just two seconds. I’m going to run to exactly the place that I will sleep and then I will carry on the next day from that place. When I get to Paris I will feel like I haven’t cheated one bit and I will have run 1300 miles.

Presumably you're going to be getting a ferry over the channel? There have been a few people who want me to swim it, but I think I’m going to have to let them down! It will be frustrating for me because I am the kind of person who when on the ferry will be looking at the water thinking that I should have at least attempted it. I have thought about it, and if I could double my donations I would think about it but it’s a very ‘out-there’ idea at the minute and I will be booking onto a ferry at the beginning of my journey. What back-up have you got on this? Have you got people following you around making sure that you're staying in good health?  Yes, I have. The Royal Marines physical training instructors have been really supportive. I've got physio checks and guys from Parkour UK and Parkour Generations, who are the big teams in the UK. They have loads of expertise. I've got them checking me over and I've got doctor’s appointments before I go. When I actually go Vauxhall are providing me with a car which my girlfriend will drive, with all my nutrition and equipment in. I will be carrying a lot of water bottles myself but because of the sheer amount of food I’m going to have to eat there is no way that I could carry all of that on my back. So what would you say to anyone who fancies trying out a bit of Parkour?  These days too many people try and dictate how you learn, but all I would say is start slow. Work on the fundamental movements and if you find one way easier to do than another then do it that way and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Find out more about Sticky’s mission at  Donate to his cause at  Listen to an audio version of this interview on our Left Back podcast at

words: Jared Wilson photo: David Baird

A Net Loss

“I’ll follow Notts forever, always look for their results and come back and visit a few times.”

When Munto Finance took over Notts County a lot of eyebrows (and invoice requests) were raised. Suddenly big names from English football like Sven-Göran Eriksson, Sol Campbell and Kasper Schmeichel arrived in Nottingham to play for the smaller team. But only one of them stuck around long enough to lift the League Two Championship at the end of the season. His name is Kasper and his goalkeeping record at the Magpies is second to none… What are your favourite moments from your time at Notts?  I can’t just pick one as there have been so many. It’s been fantastic. I’ve probably been through every emotion you can possibly imagine. Obviously knowing we’d won the championship after the game away at Darlington was fantastic. Beating Wigan away from home in the FA Cup was amazing as well. But over the course of this season there have been a lot of highs.    You’ve just got the record for the most ever clean sheets by a Notts goalkeeper in one season…  Yeah, but obviously that’s not just down to me. It’s due to the way the whole team has played. We defend from the front and we defend as a team. The players in front of me stop the ball well and it hasn’t actually come through to me a lot. They’ve done a great job!   You have a brilliant record on penalties for Notts (faced five, saved four). Is there any secret to this success?  Yeah. There is a secret to be being able to do that. But I’m not going to tell you it.    Fair enough. What was it like growing up with an international superstar goalkeeper as a father?  It’s probably no different to how it is for most people. He is just my dad – I don’t think of him as a superstar. Obviously because of his job I’ve had some experiences that a lot of people won’t have had, but I’ve probably missed out on a lot of things others had too. I feel privileged to have him as a father though and I wouldn’t change a thing.   The World Cup is coming up soon. Did you go to any of the tournaments with your family when you were younger?  Yeah, I’ve been to a few. I went to France ’98 with him, which was unbelievable. Obviously they just lost out in the quarter finals then to Brazil. The World Cup is a fantastic spectacle to see in person. It was very enjoyable being there.     There’s an outside chance you might get in the Denmark squad for this tournament…  I don’t think it will happen. I know Thomas Sorenson got injured a few weeks ago, but he’s a fit lad and I hope and pray that he is well enough to go. He’s our main man and one of our leaders – my country needs him there desperately. And even if he doesn’t go, Denmark is blessed with a lot of good goalkeepers, the competition for places is quite fierce.    There was talk a while ago that you are eligible to play in goal for England too. Is that something you would consider?  I’ll never play for England. I don’t mean that disrespectfully, but it would be like asking an Englishman to play for France. I’m Danish all the way. 

You weren’t always a goalkeeper though… No. I was a striker for a long time and I still play there quite a lot in training. It came to a point when I was younger where I had to make a decision about what I could go the furthest with and what would be the best career choice for me. I’d played in a lot of different positions, but I think the position that was always home to me was being in goal.    You played under Sven at Man City and then you came to play for him at Notts. What’s he like to work with?  He’s great. Sven is a gentleman, a thoroughly nice man and he knows his stuff about football. He always finds a good way of conveying his message.    How did the regime under him and Trembling compare to Ray Trew and Steve Cotterill? I dunno. To be honest we don’t really have a lot to do at boardroom level. The team don’t think about all the finance stuff– we just go out and do our jobs on the pitch. But it’s been amazing working under Steve Cotterill. From the first day that he came in he told us that he wanted to win the league. We were fourteen points behind the top team when he came in and everyone was a bit sceptical, but his enthusiasm is infectious and his desire to win every game rubs off. Even after we’d won the title there was no easing off at all. We wanted to win and it’s great to have a manager like that.  After everything that has happened in the last season it’s even more of an achievement to have played so well and come out on top…  It’s brilliant. It’s all credit to the players and the coaching staff. Everyone here has done their bit and it’s been an amazing season.  Did the amount of column inches, both good and bad, that the club generated this season end up giving you a siege mentality in the dressing room?  No. To be honest we never really took that much notice of it. We have a great dressing room, there’s a lot of banter going around and a lot of fun and games. We’ve never taken any of that pressure coming from the outside too seriously. We’ve generally just concentrated on playing football and we’ve reaped the rewards.  Who were your footballing idols as a kid?  I have many. Obviously my dad was a big one – I’m a raging Man United fan so most of their players like Giggs, Cantona, Beckham were all people I looked up to, and Wayne Rooney now. They’re amazing players to watch and you can always learn from them no matter what position you play. In terms of goalkeepers I’ve always looked up to Iker Casillas at Real Madrid, Edwin Van Der Sar, David Seaman, David James and Shay Given – who I was lucky enough to work with. It’s a great privelige to work with good keepers and I’ve always studied them a lot. 

Are you aware of some of the great Notts keepers of the past like Albert Iremonger, Raddy Avramović and Steve Cherry?  Yeah. Obviously they’re before my time but people have told me about them. I’ve never really seen video of them play or anything, but you can’t help but be aware of the history of the club.  So you’re leaving Notts soon. What are your emotions about that?  It’s a bit of a weird feeling. I’m excited about my prospects and what could happen, but there’s also a degree of sadness. I’ve enjoyed my time here and I’ll definitely miss the place, the players and the fans, but it’s one of those things and there’s no other way it can be. I just have to take it on the chin and move on really. I’ll follow Notts forever, always look for their results and come back and visit a few times.  What are the chances of us ever seeing you in a Notts shirt again?  All I’ll say is that in football you can never say never. I certainly wouldn’t rule it out as football is a funny game and you never know where it’s going to take you.  Where are you going to be watching the World Cup? I take it you’ll be cheering on Denmark…  Yeah of course. I’ll be watching it with my family, including my dad, in my home country too – I’m going back there after our last game and will be staying there for the summer.   Have you got any mates in the World Cup who you’ll be looking out for?  Yeah. I live virtually next to Thomas Sorensen back home and I see him a lot. I’ve played with the likes of Nicklas Bendtner and Daniel Agger in the youth team. I think we can do reasonably well if we stay injury free. Obviously Thomas’s injury could be a massive blow, but there’s still a good chance he’ll make it and I think we’ve got a good chance of progressing from the group stages.  Who do you think will win it?  Obviously I hope Denmark win it. But if I was putting money on it I’d look at the likes of Brazil, Spain, Italy and Germany. You can’t discount these teams at all.  Listen to an audio version of this interview on Left Back, the LeftLion Nottingham sports podcast at











































If you are a Nottingham-based artist and would like to be profiled in this section, please email A group of diverse visual artists formed four years ago driven by a need to engage in challenge and intervention, spurred by an eclectic character; of openness eschewing category and doctrine. Their members have a wide experience of exhibiting and continue to show individually and collaboratively. artopen welcome interest and new members, contact

David Crouch

Dawn B Healey-Dakin

Describe your work: Strongly expressive in character, my work explores the intimacy of moments of engagement, feeling, memory. Bodies and places, figuration and abstraction merge and flow. I am drawn to places like Andalucia, Donegal, west Cornwall and southern Sweden. My painting includes large oils, strong watercolours, and mixed media.

Describe your practice: My practice is based upon creating an honest response to whatever I am experiencing at that moment in time, including the flow of things seen everyday. The paintings, usually oil paint on canvas, are of a personal nature, an emotive response and a combination of many aspects.

What are your influences? Peter Lanyon’s work’s expressions of merging into the spaces, Roger Hilton’s going nearer the edge and his abstract realities, Diebenkoorn’s wonderful colour. If you could create an art installation in Sherwood Forest, what would it be? I would create a free event, a festival and tree-planting weekend where everyone was welcome and use all donations for the poor.

What inspires you? I draw upon my own photographic documentation and lifted images from found photographic sources. My own photographs act as a form of visual information to capture, conserve a moment, but they are usually edited to lift a relevant form or image. I have a preoccupation with the use of the colour black, which is likely to continue in my work for the future.

Ken Holland

Robert Purnell

What phrase would sum up your art? “True Art is always found where we least expect it, where nobody is thinking about it or saying its name.” Jean Dubuffet

What does your art represent? A mere reflection of the human world without exaggeration. Different tactics are used to engage the spectator. Some pieces are abrupt visual ‘one liners’ whilst others are more complex and may have several meanings.

What does your art represent? An intriguing challenge as a philosophical base for observation and practice. What do you think of Robin Hood? The idea of subversion and the desire to undermine misguided authority and power appeals. All the better if it can be achieved by pulling on a pair of green tights.

What are your influences? Stylistic and political influences stem from Gregory Green’s anarchism and realism and Kienholz’s conscience. In Goya, his humanism is paramount. Tom Friedman has contributed through his powerful contribution to the art/craft debate. Why do you prefer sculpture? Although painting is an astounding medium it will always lack the absolute reality obtainable in sculpture. Some of the works are simply the real thing. Miniaturisation too has it’s own strengths. The similarity to toys is deliberate as is the simple attraction of models. What do you think about Robin Hood? Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor as a basis for a role model for our youngsters is a highly debatable morality.

Mary Shuttleworth

Val Turton

What shapes your work? My interest lies within the industrial landscape, such as redundant quarries, and waste land. I examine the changes in the use of the land and how this can be represented through aesthetic means. The contrast between ordered, geometric, man-made objects and nature is central to my work. Found debris is incorporated. In previous works I selected shuttering board for its association with dereliction.

What inspires you? I have an ongoing interest in the organisation, destruction and reconstruction of the natural environment. The controlled packaging of ‘the natural’ habitat/ landscape are key concerns of the work. Access and detached experiences of this un/natural world are explored by subverting the obvious notions of nostalgia, tradition, customs and ritual.

What drives you? I am motivated by printmaking as an expression to create form: to attack and wrestle with the plate-almost destroying it in order to create a new piece of work that is reborn. What artists do you admire? American printmaker Bruce Dorfman’s assemblages incorporating found detritus and Japanese artist Kazuo Kenmochi’s sculptures from discarded shuttering boards.

Ever done any artwork on Robin Hood? I once did a series of workshops themed around Robin with Center Parcs. My part involved wearing brown tights as a tree! If I were to do an installation in the forest I would ditch the brown tights and perhaps leave subtle trails to suggest foraging for food. 19 19

Write Lion

A hung parliament and a not so well-hung Jeremy Clarkson received poetic scorn on the forum this month whilst Alex Davis gets us all psyched up for the fantasy frenzy that is Alt Fiction with his mysterious offering. To hear more about this as well as Southwell Poetry Festival, Lowdham Book Festival and I’m An American Poet, download our WriteLion #6 podcast at



Jeremy Clarkson, just f*ck off

Dave and Nick

On the corkscrew from Killisick, the bus slides down roads like strips of thinnest skin where house foundations only go so deep; nubs of concrete set in mud and ancient coral reefs, where once, between the ice sheets meltwater smashed its way against the grain dragged grit and silt along new valley floors, made Arnold into marshland, hot and humid.

Paralysed; The night sky holds us As the planets revolve, Dancing imperceptibly

It’s only four wheels and a roof a vehicle and not the truth you can't caress an oil stain or fall in love with a traffic lane, or snog a sump or an MOT, or snuggle with a parking fee

Nick meet Dave you’ve so much in common we can’t tell you apart you’re the same guy, right? Or are we getting confused? You’re both heavily into Zen Buddhism and you wish the sky was made of ice cream you’d like to teach the world to swing gently especially on Fridays well wouldn’t we all Dave secretly thinks Nick is slightly chubby Nick desires Dave’s wife that’s just how it goes when you’re the men in charge perhaps Nick wishes he wasn’t a man perhaps he’d like to sweep through the cabinet room impersonating June Whitfield Dave speaks to nick as if he’s talking to someone from Lithuania Nick likes it when Dave does that Nick climbs trees in the gardens at Number 10 and cries for his Mum at three in the morning when he can’t sleep Dave wants to invade somewhere after all it is his turn to be tough like Tony and the other bigger boys

by Rosie Garner

by Alex Davis

Hippos grazed the night in water meadows behind Sainsbury's kept cool through underwater days skimming over lily stems along the Daybrook. Beneath the bus today you can hear the chant of rock: Red Marl, Mercia Mudstone, Sherwood sand, pebble beds.

by MulletProofPoet

From our vantage We see the myriad Of twilight's tapestry, The secrets of time Opened before us And we glow, seen From unimagined places Through enraptured eyes We are ancient and still Brilliant in our misery Prisoners of the endless (We watch, and we suffer)

A glove compartment holds no cheer you can’t laugh, with knackered gears You’ll never see a Vauxhall smile in a million, million, million miles a car won’t give you what you need a car will bring you to your knees A car is money and petrol smell combustion engine motor hell traffic jamming dents and prangs insurance cons and joy ride gangs a car might get you there, real quick but a car cannot extend your dick

by Cal

The Awakened Soul

The Rain Diaries

Even the Dogs

Somewhere in-between the dark Romanticism of Coleridge and Blake and the brutal word of modern poetry stands The Awakened Soul. Another member of the LeftLion forum to selfpublish, Steven Michael Pape’s poetry manages to strike the simple but resonating line. It draws the reader deep into a cryptic and clouded subconscious, while equally guiding the poetic imagination towards a path of delicate deliverance. Standing out from the collection is Autumnal Dying, a modern dystopian take on the fallibility of man’s lasting impact on the earth. Another highlight is Dream of an Insomniac which conveys with incredible clarity the surreal immobility of this sleepless condition. Pape has only recently begun to appear publicly and if this collection is any marker, an awakening is all too fitting a word. Alistair Catterall

From pre-historic hippos keeping cool ‘through underwater days skimming over lily stems along the Daybrook’ to kids swimming at Basford crossing during a flash flood, this first collection of poetry by Rosie Garner is firmly rooted in Nottingham. Rosie explores how familiar places echo with lost meanings - ‘our estate was named after badgers, it must have been full of them once’ - contrasting environmental warnings and modern myth-making with acute observations of everyday life and family relationships. In After the Tsunami, she visualizes Asian tidal-wave devastation transferred to the flood-prone Meadows area, while poems from her writing residency in prisons reflect a tough humor and downto-earth lyrical economy characteristic of her work. The Rain Diaries provides an evocative commentary on the way we relate to our fellow ‘Tigguocabauc’ and how we place ourselves within the ever-changing landscape of our city. Aly Stoneman

Even the Dogs is Nottingham based Jon McGregor’s third novel. His first two were both longlisted for the Man Booker prize. Our advice? Get your hands on this now and celebrate London recognising one outside of their own. This 208 paged novel begins with a week-old corpse in a festering flat. Narrated by an elusive ‘we’ that know the dead man, the story is told through observations and recalled fragments that reveal his story and ‘theirs’, suggesting a collective conscience and bringing the intense novel to climactic release. The language is both lyrical and impoverished, and evokes gritty, traumatised characters with economy and precision. Tender without being sentimental, and arresting but not shocking, McGregor offers a provocative view of the fringes of society, with a vantage point that’s suspended midway between empathy and judgement. See books for an in depth analysis of his work. Bianca Winter

Steven Michael Pape Self published, £3.95

Rosie Garner Salt Publishing, £8.99

Jon McGregor Bloomsbury, £12.99

The Dawning

Brian and Peter A Right Pair: 21 years with Clough and Taylor

Megan Taylor Weathervane Press, £7.99 A crisp and snowy New Year’s Eve is the setting for Megan Taylor’s second novel, but for the Haywood family there’s very little to celebrate. Depression, bullying, betrayal, malice, mental dislocation and a general air of creeping disaster suffuse the lives of Stella, Phillip and their children, Nicola, Zac and baby Mia. Christmas must have been a blast! Taylor tells her story through the internal lives of the family, with dialogue pared back to a bare minimum, and though the prose can get a trifle dense as it weaves through the thicket of her character’s richly pictured inner perceptions, she mostly pulls it off. This is a pretty bleak tale, where any hope for the future is laced with an ominous foreboding of what will happen the morning after, but Taylor has crafted an involving picture of a family in a tailspin. Megan appeared on our Write Lion 5 podcast. Robin Lewis


Maurice Edwards DB Publishing, £16.99

Brian Clough is in danger of having as many books written about him as Hitler, such is the fascination he evokes. Yet it would appear we have not yet reached a tipping point as each one offers a new variation on our favourite folklore. Edwards spent twentyone years with the enigmatic duo as chief scout at all of their clubs, thereby enabling him the opportunity to settle one of the enduring footballing myths: Was Taylor the brains in spotting players or was it Clough’s unique management approach that brought success? Rather than rehashing old stories, Edwards offers new insights into our favourite outlaws and at long, long last, brings Taylor into the equation as an equal partner. Compulsory reading on the ‘greatest partnership’ England never had over 186 scintillating pages. James Walker

Caribbean Whispers Caroline Bell Foster LMH Publishing, £8.99

This book starts by introducing the reader to Miriam and Jonas then quickly moves to Miriam’s rape and rescue. Miriam’s life changes forever when she becomes Thomas’ daughter and takes the name Merissa. There was little depth to the characters and key events in Merissa’s life are brushed over quickly, there is no attention given to the aftermath of the rape, it simply a means for Thomas to come across the girl and take her in. This is a romance though and exploring those things more fully would have created a much darker book. Events move quickly and Caribbean Whispers is an extremely swift and easy read, the characters are largely likeable or not as intended and I was rooting for Alex and Merissa by the end. Foster writes well, keeping the interest up and using occasional colloquial language and descriptions of food to create a sense of place. Romance fans should enjoy it along with anyone looking for a light quick read. Adele Harrison

You can now listen to one track from each review on our Sound Of The Lion podcast. Visit and gerrit in yer tab. If you want your tunes to appear on this page visit Nick Jonah Davis

Guitar Recordings Volume 1 Album (Tompkins Square Records) If you were captivated by the plangent tones of Ry Cooder’s haunting score to Paris, Texas and feel the need for something similar in your life then Nick Jonah Davis might just be your man. Guitar Recordings Volume 1 is the local string-stroker’s pared down, minimalist shrine to the power of the world’s favourite instrument, and as such it is as complete and as unadorned as a Zen parable.  Look elsewhere for flashy histrionics or gut-churning riffs, as small but perfectly formed tracks such as Lotus Island and The Beasts Below slowly unwind in a ‘Sunday afternoon down the park watching the clouds drift by’ kind of way. There’s not a great deal going on, just some quality acoustic musicianship recorded rather sweetly: these pieces could easily slot into place accompanying short films of their own.  Just occasionally you might wish for a touch of Eno-esque electronics or a squall of Sonny Sharrock –type spacejazz feedback business but that would be akin to gilding the proverbial lily. Jonah Davis has instead taken the entirely laudable step of letting his guitar playing stand alone and serene: if you’re a guitar afficionado or into library soundtracks then you’re going to be coming back to this collection again and again. An assured quality release. Cal Gibson Available from or from live shows.

The Hell I Am

The Hell I Am EP (Self Release) From the first blast of fuzzy bass in opener Chaka Demus I Can Take or Leave (But Pliers I’ve Got A Lot Of Time For) through to the final blast of guitar and layers of vocals that make up Arabian Nights, this is an atomic-sized punch in the face of an EP. There isn’t a moment on this record where the relentless drive of the guitars or the thunder of the drums ever threaten to slow down. The whole EP is driven recklessly at 100mph with one hand on the wheel and the other hanging out the window flicking ‘V’ signs at everyone they’re passing. The dual vocal talents of Beej and Sarah Firebrand add some exhilarating textures whenever they combine, noticeable on the spidery Arachnophobia, which sounds like The Bangles trapped in the middle of a travelling fair. Konnichiwa with its line “You’re just a bullet to the head of my ambition” is a middle-fingered statement of intent. There is an infatuation with the American alt-rock of the early 90’s here and it’s no bad thing. If you get a twinge of excitement whenever Volcano Girls by Veruca Salt comes on the stereo, then you will find something to love here. It’s a ruthless onslaught of power-pop and melodic rock that quite happily pumps its fists in the air. These grrrl’s (and boy) are a riot! Paul Klotschkow

Dog Is Dead

Glockenspiel Song Single (Your Childhood Records) If you shut your eyes for the moment and imagine the riff from The Smiths This Charming Man being played by The Mystery Jets in the middle of some sun-drenched fiesta in South America, then you are a little bit closer to the charms on offer here. Refreshingly un-arrogant and coming across with a fizzying, dizzying amount of energy like a bunch of ADHD kids pumped up the eyeballs on e-numbers, this is a euphoric sugar rush of a song. So much so that you fear your teeth may rot and you will end up with diabetes just by listening to it. The singing comes across as a bit Haircut 100 in places, which is nothing to be ashamed of, it just adds to the fun 80s indie-pop vibe of the whole shebang. The titular glockenspiel twinkle’s across the song as trumpets sound like the sun itself, whilst the shouty group chorus is perfectly timed considering this summer will be soundtracked by the chants of thousands of football fans in South Africa. I once ate a whole pack of Black Jacks and did a forwards roll immediately afterwards. As a result bits of Black Jack started to come out of my nose. It was awesome. This song is the musical equivalent of that. Paul Klotschkow Available from iTunes, Amazon and Spotify .

Do or Die / Paper Scissors Stone EP (RecordShop) It’s the mid-80s and Mad Max, Michael Knight and Bo “Bandit” Darville are in New York looking for quality funky pop with a Miami influence. They stumble across a bar called ‘The Roll-Your-Sleeves-Up-80’sStyle-and-Swing-Your-Arms’ Rooms, and that’s where Ronika comes in. Do Or Die starts with squelchy square bass and Kylie-esque vocals, before the chorus breaks out into a lush synth explosion of funk pop and 80’s electro-disco. The Lowstar Remix brings about some space disco to the proceedings and sounds perfectly placed with Ronika’s silky vocals, complete with heavy vocoder and Basement Jaxx kinky breakdown, all before the blissful pop resumes. Paper, Scissors and Stone takes us to the late-70s New York. With soothing vocals from Charles Washington sounding something like Oliver Cheatham or Evelyn ‘Champagne’ King. The song sounds instantly classic; the vibe is good and the mood is positive when the second half of the song introduces some crunchy fuzz synth that is surely deserving of a mention by Kitsune Maison. The Ben Fawce remix is a much darker affair with elements of dubstep thrown in for good measure: stereo panning synths, heading crushing industrial bass and dollops of those vocals. Ronika deserves to be at the forefront of, what should be, the new pop movement. This EP is simply brilliant and an album of this quality should surely break her through to the other side. Ashley Clivery Available from or from iTunes and Amazon. Read our interview with Ronika on page 11. 

Of The Sea And Shore LP (Low Point) This record is inspired by the singer’s visits to ‘remote coastal locations and the cyclical nature of the tides and the forces of nature that regulate the ocean’. It is essentially 40 minutes of noise - joyful noise. A subtle yet strangely epic piece of work, it’s a meandering and understated journey of a soundscape that sprawls across two sides of vinyl; distorting the natural sounds of a guitar with an array of mind-bending effects. At times it’s so minimalist it barely exists - yet we should be glad that it does. The first side begins with a long haunting reverb, and ends with the calming, dissonant echoes of bells and the sea. Side B offers a different mood altogether, starting with a meandering, gossamer, blissful drone before fading into fuzz and a soothing orchestral haze. The record ends with the repeated subtle and gradual crescendo of the splashing of cymbals - like waves softly lapping at the shore. Centred by chilling silence yet accentuated by a sprawling ambience, the whole LP breathes a weird naturalist understanding. If the sun were to let out a sigh and a moan when it sets over the ocean it would sound a little something like this. It certainly makes for a great, supernatural soundtrack to fading summer days. In this instance, less is certainly more. Andrew Trendell Available from


Sevens b/w Mara 7” (Low Point) Sevens slowly lurches into action with ominous drums and the faint echo of guitar offering a gentle hint of what is about to come. Slowly the song tightens its grip on the listener like a venomous snake slithering and constricting itself around its prey. Walls of ambient, yet fuzzy and drone like guitars stalk and tip-toe around one another as if they are two animals eyeing each other up, but both of them afraid to make the first move. You can sense the menace and danger lurking lurking in the shadows. It may sound like a contradiction, but this is quiet garage rock, and the sting in the tale is when the bass kicks in and you feel it has the ability to suck you in to a black hole. Flip it over and Mara is a completely different type of creature. Fractals of guitar splinter out of the speaker at you as if they are made of glass. They then take on a life of their own, drifting and twisting out on some sort of psychedelic dirt track. Eventually they meet somewhere in the ether as hit after hit of lurching, dark, depraved riffs threaten to crush anything that come in their way; like Lurch from the Addams Family after a steroid binge going down to the local cemetery to smash some gravestones. Eric Manchester Available from

Available from the band’s myspace page.


Gareth Hardwick

Souvaris/ Sincabeza

Clown Jazz Album (Gringo Records) Great Scott! alone makes this split album title utterly apt. Bouncy major chords wind around each other playfully, eventually transforming into series upon series of winding jazz-math instrument passages. Each instrumentalist gets a turn in forming the overall sound of the song, individually clawing for your attention but done so very tastefully. These passages soon form a more brooding and labyrinthine structure, eventually meeting in the middle in a crescendo of distorted obtuse wonder. The song suddenly changes from math-noodling into a dirty, bluesy monster ready to be tamed. Then an angular little jam kicks in, giving the song a pleasant addendum which fades in to echoey arpeggio noise. The outro noise facilitates the evolution of Great Scott! into Hello Antelope. It’s a very Battles-like affair, but with Souvaris making the sound their own rather than succumbing to mere emulation. It gives the keyboard some space to breathe, adding some very full-bodied chords into the Souvaris blender - what they use as a bridge could easily be elaborated upon into another excellent song. This is the beauty of Souvaris - they are adventurous in experimentation, but never lose their focus on the song on its grander scale. This is a split album with French band Sincabeza making the second side their home. A complete and utter nutcase of an album, and you’d be daft to not invest in it. Ant Whitton Available from and iTunes

Liam O’Kane

Happy Days Sad Songs Album (Do The Dog Music) Is there anything more happy and summery than a simple acoustic reggae backbeat underneath simple, honest lyrics? If there is I think you’d be hard pressed to find it and the eponymous opener to Liam O’Kane’s debut release, stands the record in promising stead. But listen a little closer and the song reveals itself to be a lyrically sombre number, with cheery upbeat music masking a painful tale of a broken heart. O’Kane has a simple songwriting style that tells stories about everyday life - sometimes mundane, sometimes heartwrenching, but always delivered with charm - over an folksy acoustic backdrop of ska-laced roots rock, with the occasional lick of melodica and ukulele. These are stories that every one of us can relate to; trying to be upbeat when you feel like crap, trying your best and still getting it wrong, a lover leaving, feeling frustrated in the face of politics or missing the last train home. But amongst the sadder themes are a few happier ones, like getting a cab home with a nice driver on Taxi Man, or the importance of being courteous on Politeness Is Free. Forgive my deepness, but this record reflects the mask that we all put up when we feel down - a cheerful facade to hide our feelings, like the upbeat melodies that conceal the saddening lyrics of this lovely album. Sarah Morrison Available from Liam’s myspace page. 

Spotlight Kid

Crystal Dreams EP (2&1 Records) Churning up a billowing miasma from vaporous guitars and swampy vocals, the intriguing Spotlight Kid give a fine account of themselves on their new EP. You immediately get a sense of their natural habitat from the recording: smoke-filled stages in dank, airless clubs giving away free purple nasties upon presentation of a flyer. Clearly able to distinguish their Kevin Shields from their Reid brothers, opening track Take Some Time wraps thumping, insatiable rhythms with a soaring wah-wah melody that positively reeks of dry-ice and epilepsy inducing strobes. Seemingly wary of being lazily branded as nu-gazers though, the band present a varied palette from which to choose their colours. Thus we get a heavy infusion of early 90’s US grunge into their vocal harmonies together with a decidedly late-80’s, Brit-noise influenced, indie guitar thrum. This is perhaps best demonstrated during the wonderful, disjunctively tuneful second track Psalm 107, wherein a Wish-era Cure sensibility takes its Alice In Chains-loving drug buddy along for a strife-ridden road trip. They lift themselves out of the squalid nether regions of dull, rehashed indie rock and into some place far more interestingly diverse than their peers can currently occupy. Kicking you up the arse and choking you by the throat in earnest. Al Draper Available from the band’s website.



featured listing Words: Paul Klotschkow Photo: Dom Henry

June - July 2010

Park Live


Buying tickets for events in Notts? From the latest DJs at Stealth to the latest bands at venues like Spanky Van Dykes and The Rescue Rooms, you can get them all through our website, at no extra cost. Even better, thanks to our partnership with, every time you buy one through us some of the funds will go towards LeftLion and a bit more goes to those nice folks at Oxfam.


Pete Hylton (Scampipete) and Will Forrest (Beatmasta Bill) are well-known faces on the local club scene (and incidentally, the latter is the unsung hero of the LeftLion podcast crew – seriously, if it wasn’t for his impervious engineering skills, we’d be shouting into a tape recorder and having to go through town with a ghetto blaster).   More importantly, they’re part of the rather wonderful Roads To Recovery, a support group for people dealing with psychosis. As people who have had bouts with psychosis over the years, Pete and Will are aware that medical support can take you only so far, and that getting yourself back into a proper social network is crucial. With that in mind, Roads To Recovery lay out the complete support package for those who need it, running film nights, boat trips, walks, informal get-togethers and the timeless pursuit known as ‘dossing round town’.  They even run DJ lessons at Stealth on a Friday afternoon.   Most importantly, however, they run {EkLECTIC}, a monthly club night held at Moog aimed at raising awareness for both the charity and the truth behind psychosis. Not only is a crucial opportunity for the group members to do their thing in a supportive environment, it’s also open to everyone else – helping Roads To Recovery raise cash for their vital work. If you’re into hip-hop, dubstep, d&b, funk, jazz, reggae and electronica, you’re in luck – and not only do Will and Pete bless the decks on the regular with Arkeye, but a procession of other local DJs have also been known to swing by on occasion.   Psychosis is an illness that affects far more people than you’d realise, but if you still think that it’s something that will automatically shag up your life forever, think again. Check the website for further details, and look out for {EkLECTIC}’s next appearance as part of Breakdown at the Rescue Rooms on Saturday 19 June.


Four Nottingham music promoters have combined their resources to put on a charity hip-hop all-dayer at the Rescue Rooms on 19 June. Conceived by Will Forrest (eKlectic), Will Robinson (I’m Not From London), Adam Pickering (The Hockley Hustle) and Jared Wilson (LeftLion Presents), Breakdown promises a feast of old school styles.  The event includes breakdancing from The Groundhogs, live graffiti from Dilk and the Montana Shop crew and music from a whole host of local emcees, bands, beatboxers and DJs including The Elementz, 1st Blood, Emcee Killa, Karizma, Inkrument, Nina Smith, Liam Bailey, Motormouf and more. They will also be showcasing the first public footage of the forthcoming NG83 Documentary – a film which examines the roots of hip-hop in HoodTown. Visit the Facebook page for full details – all of those who buy a £5 ticket in advance will get a free mix CD, as well as free entry to Stealth vs Rescued straight after. All proceeds from the night go towards the work of Roads To Recovery. For even more listings, check our up to date online section at If you want to get your event in this magazine and on our website, aim your browser at


Splendour has become a regular summer fixture at Wollaton Park since its inception in 2008. The festival is very family-friendly, which is always reflected in its eclectic line-up. This year, it’s got even bigger - with a third stage, and a comedy tent, children’s activities, various food outlets and a Real Ale tent, so there will always be something to keep you entertained. Our Music Editor takes time out from picking out his nastiest shorts and rinsing down his chemical toilet to look at ten acts he thinks you should go and watch this year... Pet Shop Boys

The synth-pop legends will be bringing almost 30 years of hits to the main stage when they headline Splendour 2010. As the most successful pop duo in history (with 42 Top 30 singles) and a stage show that’s as flamboyant as it is electric, they’ll have everyone from Nanas to toddlers on their feet. With classics like West End Girls, It’s A Sin and Being Boring through to more recent efforts such as I’m With Stupid and Did You See Me Coming, there is bound to be something that you know and enjoy in their headlining slot. They also have one of the best song titles ever in You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You Are Drunk.  


Our resident pop-vixen will be letting her bedroom-created beats loose on Wollaton Park, as she has the privilege of opening up the festival’s Main Stage. Having just released her debut EP Do or Die/Paper Scissors Stone, it’ll be interesting to see how her electrodisco pop translates to the vast outdoors. Feistily mixing up 80s pop, pounding beats, and four-to-the-floor electronic dynamite, if she can’t wake up the early starters and get them dancing then they clearly have no souls.  

Shed Seven

One for the dads, the big parka brigade, and those whose music collection doesn’t stretch past 1999, Shed Seven’s joint headline slot alongside Terrorvision on the Second Stage is a guaranteed singalong and nostalgia-packed set. Part of the Britpop scene of the mid 90s, they were never going to be as big as some of their peers - but with songs like Chasing Rainbows, She Left Me On Friday, and Disco Down, they packed enough punch to bother the charts and indie-disco’s up and down the country.  

Dog Is Dead

Our local heroes opened the Main Stage last year and are back to focus their youthful energy upon the Second Stage with their hyperactive dizzying blend of funk, jazz, and indie-pop. Over the past couple of years they’ve honed their uplifting ska with numerous shows in and around Nottingham as well as making a name for themselves further afield. Part of me wants to hate them for being so young and so talented, but yet at the same time you cannot help but love their infectious songs.  


Festival veterans with Reading and Leeds under their belt - along with Summer Sundae and the Camden Crawl already in the bag this year - local lads Frontiers shouldn’t have any problem taking their dark, brooding post-punk to Splendour. Think early Cure, Editors, and Echo and The Bunnymen and you are close to the sound they aim to create.


After playing the first ever Splendour on the Courtyard stage, Fists are back two years later on the Second Stage. In that time they’ve released a 7” single, an EP, and have ripped through a whole bunch of gigs (including Glastonbury) honing their craft with frenetic dedication and becoming one of Nottingham’s most exciting bands in a long time. They mix up early Rock n Roll, 50s pop, alt-country and lo-fi indie with a pleasing DIY and gloriously ramshackle approach that means you are never sure what you are going to get next.  


A collaboration of sorts between local songwriters Simon Ritchie and Ed Bannard, Hymn create an autumnal sound that is full of mandolins, violins, brass, acoustic guitars and introspective lyrics which instantly spin the listener to a more thoughtful place. But that’s not to say they are cold; quite the contrary. Their songs are brimming with warmth and heart and make the world a much more beautiful place. Nottingham’s very own answer to the likes of Damien Rice and Beirut, they’ll be airing their latest single  

Nina Smith

She’s recently collaborated with local rapper Scorzayzee live and is set to feature on his debut album, but it’s with her own songs that she really shines. Nina will be gracing the LeftLion stage with her bewitchingly heartfelt songs that are delivered by a singer with a voice that can melt the hearts of even the most cold hearted. A young talent who shouldn’t be missed, and whose time has surely come.  

Liam Bailey

He may have escaped to London, but we can still claim Liam Bailey as our own. He started the year off by playing live for Q Magazine and he is currently working on his debut album after signing to Polydor Records, so things are looking very rosy indeed. Fortunately for us, he’s not forgotten his roots and will be showing up at Splendour and bringing his 70s soul infused songs with him. Think of the music of Sam Cooke and the look of Jimi Hendrix and you’re on the right lines...   The Splendour Festival takes place on Saturday 24 July 2010 at Wollaton Park. Tickets are £15 (for Nottingham City residents), £30 (non-city residents) and £10-15 for concessions. Under 11’s are allowed in free.

nottingham event listings... Tuesday 01/06

Friday 04/06

The Delays The Bodega £11, 8pm

Rubber Room The Maze £3, 10pm

Open Mic The Maze Free, 8pm

The Happening The Orange Tree Free, 9pm - 1am 

Wednesday 02/06

Dj Sophie The Hubb Free, 8pm

Savour the Kill The Central £1, 8pm Plus HateWire and V - Twin Leona Lewis  Trent FM Arena £29 - £43 Alkaline Trio  Rock City £16.50, 6.30pm

Thursday 03/06 Notts In A Nutshell The Maze £3, 8pm With Vanity Box, Tax The Fat, Stage Fright Kills, Bury The Ladybird and Paradox. The Music Exchange  The Malt Cross Free, 8pm Scout Niblett  Spanky Van Dykes £7, 8pm Plus Old Basford and Kogumaza. Devil Sold His Soul  Rock City £6, 7.30pm Wire and Wool  The Alley Cafe Free, 8.30pm With Hatewire, Theo, Riot 4 Disco, Roshan Rai, Yvonne Lake, Tom McAdam and Danny Charters.

Big Dig with Holmes The Golden Fleece Free, 8pm Alchemy Weekender Alchemy Festival Scholey Park £10, 10am Runs until: 6/6 Smith Westerns  Spanky Van Dykes £5, 7pm Wigflex  Stealth £8, 10pm With Joy Orbison, Shackleton, Floating Points, James Blake, Mount Kimbie, Deadboy, Martin Kemp, Alexander Nut, Lone and Spamchop.

Saturday 05/06 The Coal Porters The Maze £10, 7.30pm Back To Basics  The Maze £3, 10pm Lau  The Rescue Rooms £12.50, 7pm Dan Smith  Stealth £5, 10.15pm Cafe Du Monde  Nottingham Contemporary Free, 8pm and the Sun, Owen Harvey and the Adeys and more.

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Say Whaaaat? The Sugarhill Gang? In Nottingham? Believe it, youth…

If you’re of a certain age and you know anything about hip-hop, you’ll know the first time you heard it; December 1979, when Rapper’s Delight crashed into the UK charts at No.3, sounding like absolutely nothing you’d ever heard in your life before (unless you’d already heard King Tim III (Personality Jock) by The Fatback Band, which you probably hadn’t).   What was originally dismissed as a novelty record kicked open the door to the most influential music genre in the world today, turning a loose collective of New York teenagers into bone fide pioneers and a 15-minute 12” single that sold over two million copies in the USA. Over 30 years later, Guy ‘Master Gee’ O’Brien and Michael ‘Wonder Mike’ Wright are back together – with the assistance of Henry ‘HenDogg’ Williams and DJ Monsieur Le Furr -and taking in a tour of Europe that sees them gracing the still-rather-new Spanky Van Dykes on Tuesday 8 June.   It’s the biggest coup so far from a venue that is already making some serious moves on the local live circuit – the other major event this June sees Los Angeles-born freak-folk auteur Ariel Pink hit town with his band Haunted Graffiti on Saturday 12 June, promoting his new LP Before Today. Previously known for his lo-fi approach, Pink has kicked out the jams for his new waxing, working in Tito Jackson’s old home studio with the likes of Rik Pekkonen – who’s knocked about with Iggy Pop, Brian Wilson and, er, Ricky Martin.   And if neither of those acts produce a swelling in your musical pants, don’t forget the club nights - check the website for further details. The Sugarhill Gang, Tuesday 8 June, tickets £10. Ariel Pink, Saturday 12 June, free entry. Spanky Van Dykes, 17 Goldsmith Street, NG1 5JT

Saturday 05/06

Saturday 05/06

Wednesday 09/06

Johnsonbury Music Festival The Johnson Arms All-day free event - outside in the garden with BBQ. Inside on the ‘carpet stage’ if it rains! With Maniere Des Bohemiens, David and the Sun, Owen Harvey and the Adeys and more.

Soul Ska Shakedown wih Decca The Golden Fleece Free, 8pm

Sounds on the Downs University of Nottingham Free, 1pm - 9pm Details announced soon.

Future of The Left Spanky Van Dykes £8 / £9 Plus The Plight and Spectres. Greenfields Festival University Park Downs £Free, 1pm - 9pm Rob Digweed Quartet, Maniers de Bohemians, The Twice, Moonbuggy, Salmagundi and loads of acoustic, performance and other shenanigans.

Coal Porters The Maze £10, 7.30pm

Sunday 06/06 ‘Rebel Rebel’-Bowie Tribute launch Scruffys Free, 8pm - late Johnny and the Raindrops  Lakeside Arts Centre Free, All day Jonny Neesom and Leon Walker  The Rescue Rooms £7, 7pm Plus Jail Guitar Doors. Secret Sundays  Spanky Van Dykes Free, 9pm Malpas, Blood Oranges and David and The Sun.

Out Da Pavil

Jason Hart Band Southbank Bar Free

Introducing Nottingham’s newest online clothes shop Pavilion is more than a clothes shop; it’s also a platform for the freshest art and design talent in Notts, giving ‘em a leg-up and a chance to earn some coin. It’s also less than a clothes shop, what with it not being available on the high street. No, Pavilion is an online clothing store, retailing fantastic, independently-designed urban street wear, both on ‘tinternet and at selected events. The emphasis is firmly on quality, dynamic and affordable products.

Monday 07/06 Bayonets The Chameleon £4, 8pm Plus Buenos Aires, Young Wolves and Solomon Grundy.

Pavilion started up in January 2010 when Bobby Goulding and Luke Norton, fresh off their Nottingham Trent Photography degree courses, took a career swerve and decided that online clobber was where it’s at. There’s a solid ethos behind the company: both believe that Nottingham is rammed to the hilt with creative talent, and that said talented bods of whatever artistic bent can do far more when they work together. So instead of linking up with any old warehouse, the focus is firmly on repping Notts artists and designers, with a smattering of national and international labels for good measure. Much of the stock comes from some of the most well-known and creative designers in town; Jon Burgerman, Bantum Clothing, Kate Broughton, Regenerate Clothing and Merri-Making are all regular departments on the site - the team believe that Notts designers in this day and age shouldn’t have to migrate to London in order to turn a pound doing what they do best, whilst plans are afoot for designer collaborations between Pavillion and some of the talent they are currently working with. It goes without saying that all Pavilion’s online transactions are watertight, but in case you miss the thrill of handing your card over to a real-life person, fret not: these boys are very active on the local scene and are in the process of putting on a series of events that’ll showcase the best multi-disciplinary talent this fair city has to offer, so keep your eyes peeled for all things Pavilion.

Extra Life Spanky Van Dykes £4 / £5, 8pm Plus Dead Spex.

Tuesday 08/06 Rack and Ruin The Maze Free, 8pm Sugarhill Gang  Spanky Van Dykes £10, 8pm The Lost Boyz Club The Bodega £4, 11pm With Grum, Urchins, Harry Benson and Lost Boyz Residents. Golden Disko Ship  The Malt Cross Free, 8.30pm

Fixit Kid The Central £1, 8pm Plus Fresh Eyes For The Dead Guy, Them Bones and Cleaverhook. Julian Cope The Rescue Rooms £17.50, 7.30pm

Thursday 10/06 Pesky Alligators The Chestnut Tree Free, 9pm DJ Cheeba  Spanky Van Dykes Free, 8pm Plus Rudi Zygadlo, Squeek Hill and Comedy Tour. Charles Washington  The Alley Cafe Free, 8.30pm - 12am Tee Dymond  Southbank Bar Free Funeral Party  Rock City £3, 10pm

Friday 11/06 Mutinous - Underground House Image Bar £1, 9pm - 2am Gazdonbury  The Maze £6, 9pm With Mouthwash, Clay Pigeon, Captain Black No Stars, Liam O’Kane and The Stabilzers an d Breadchasers. First Brazilian Festa Junina in Nottingham  Via Fossa £4 / £5 , 7pm Farmyard Presents  The Hubb Free, 8pm The Hustle with Detail  The Golden Fleece Free, 8pm


event listings... Friday 11/06

Sunday 13/06

Dollop 6th Birthday with Boys Noise, 16 Bit Stealth £8, 10pm

Roy De Wired Southbank Bar Free, 8pm

New Young Pony Club Spanky Van Dykes Free, 8pm With Nedry, Hot City and Harlot. Pesky Alligators The Fox And Crown Free, 9pm - 11pm The Winter Mountain Band Bell Inn Free,10pm

Saturday 12/06 Firefly 10th Birthday Marcus Garvey Ballroom £tbc, 9pm – 6am Pure Filth The Old Angel £5, 7.30pm With Aghast, Insidious, Sanctified Torture and Infected Earth. Maniere Des Bohemiens Nottingham Contemporary Free, 7pm Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti Spanky Van Dykes Free, 8pm Plus Brilliant Colours, La Las Vasquez and Psychic Party.

Sunday 13/06 Error404 v The Maze Electro Alldayer The Maze £4 / £5, 3pm With Ghosts Wear Clothes, Bonbonbonbons, Kerry And The Giants, Little White Rabbits, Sugarsnatch, M1Connect, Gina Stone and Navajo Youth. Plus loads of DJs.

King of the Ring Rock City £20, 5.30pm

Monday 14/06 Epic Fail The Maze Free, 3pm Contempo Lakeside Arts Centre Free, 5pm String Orchestra and Collegium Musicum Lakeside Arts Centre Free, 1.15pm

Tuesday 15/06 Notts in a Nusthell The Maze £3, 8pm With The Straw Hats, Bottle Kids and Clockwork Lights. The Winter Mountain Band The Malt Cross Brass and Sax Ensemble Lakeside Arts Centre Free, 1.15pm Festival Orchestra Lakeside Arts Centre £5 / £8, 7.15pm

Wednesday 16/06 Before The Escape and Kill Chaos The Central Free, 7.30pm SNC Recordings Presents The Maze £3, 8pm With Bonus Beyond, Merciless Terror, Four Wise Men, Nightmare Arcade, No Sheep and To Ruin.

Gallery 47 The Central Free, 1pm

Thursday 17/06

The Cabinet of Living Cinema Spanky Van Dykes Free, 8pm With Future Shorts and Opulent Oog.

SNC Recordings Presents The Maze £3, 8pm With Kamtru, Danny Patrick, Truth and Scorzayzee, Steven Turner, Rachet, Calli and Matthew and Brin and Jamo.

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A Proper Lock In The Cross Keys goes back to its roots

Nottingham might be rammeth with pubs and bars, but the one genre that’s taken a battering over the past decade has been the sort of proper alehouse our Dads, Grandpas and Arthur Seaton drank in. Y’know – dark, rich woods, elaborately patterned milked glass windows, and an atmosphere of properness. Alas, most of those places have either been run into the ground, wiped off the map, or tarted up. Take the Cross Keys, next to Dogma; it’s got a history that goes all the way back to at least 1799, but underwent the kind of mid-life crisis usually associated with Dads when their daughters’ mates start looking a bit foxy. Not only was the place plastered in Student Yellow, it started calling itself – cringe - CK’s. Thankfully, the place is under new ownership and has been told to sort itsen out. And sort itsen out it has, with a top-to-toe refurb that takes the place back, back, back to the ode school. Make no mistake, this place is now dropdead gorgeous; an immaculate place to have a pint whilst keeping itself a million miles from the ‘ponce-bar that thinks it’s summat’ zone with consummate ease. The new/old Cross Keys aims to be all things to all people. Yes, it’ll fit in nicely with the high-end environment of Weekday Cross, but there’ll always be at least six CAMRA- approved Real Ales on tap and there’s Bateman’s XB for as little as £2.30 a pint, along with continental beers, ciders ahoy, and a stacked wine and spirit selection. Yes, there’ll be quality snap, but it’s not the kind of gastropub that looks down its nose at people who just want to get their Kayli on. And naturally there’ll be tellies for the World cup and whatnot, but a sports bar it certainly ain’t. Most importantly, if you ask us, the place is adorned with amazing work from local photographer Stephen Wright and a striking painting by LeftLion regular Rikki Marr. The Cross Keys, 15 Byard Lane, Nottingham, NG1 2GJ

Thursday 17/06

Saturday 19/06

Friday 25/06

Pure Filth The Old Angel £5, 8pm With Ben Childs, Jonny One Lung, Mike Scott, Liam O’Kane, The Stabalizers and Riot 4 Disco.

Lara Stevenson The Central £4, 2pm Laura Stevenson and The Cans, Breadchasers, The Undercats and Red Shoes Diaries.

Ganglians The Bodega £5, 7pm

Sexbeat Spanky Van Dykes £3, 9pm Plus Harlem.

Allo Darlin and Standard Fare and Mascot Fight The Chameleon Cafe Bar £5, 8pm - 1am

Festival Choir Lakeside Arts Centre £5 / £8, 7.30pm

Mas Y Mas Nottingham Contemporary Free, 8pm

Clarinet, Flute and Double Reed Ensembles Lakeside Arts Centre Free, 1.15pm

Gossip Spanky Van Dykes £2, 9pm Rihanna tribute act and Brad and Angelina.

Jumpers for Goalposts The Alley Cafe Free, 8.30pm – 12am

Friday 18/06 Tigersushi ‘We are X’ Tour Spanky Van Dykes Free, 9pm With Joakim, Dye and Tigersushi Bass System.


Lakeside listens in on the prayers of the city - and melds Indian and British influences together - this summer

Farmyard Presents The Golden Fleece Free, 8pm Axis Of and Wot Gorilla? The Chameleon Cafe Bar £3, 8pm

Bonsai Band The Malt Cross Free, 8pm

Wednesday 23/06

All that mithering after all them gods has been captured, barely edited, and then shot out of floor-based speakers in an otherwise empty Djanogly Art Gallery. Also featured is another Webb creation, Autohagiography, which consists of the artist’s own voice whilst under hypnosis, broadcast out of speakers sewn into the headrest of a black leather chaise longue. Meanwhile, world-renowned local-based artist Hetain Patel takes his first stab at theatre work (in collaboration with Notts writer Michael Pinchbeck and tabla player Hiren Chate) on Thursday 1 July with TEN – a piece that interlinks dance, spoken word and live music to form a personal exploration of the rich spectrum between Indian and British identities. Prayer, 26 June – 8 August, free. TEN, 1 July, £5 - £12. Lakeside Arts Centre, University Park, NG7 2RD

Nottingham Folkus and Carrington Triangle Club The Maze £5 / £7, 8pm Pete Morton, Bronwyn Westacott and One True Saxon.

Tuesday 22/06

If you were to hear the hopes and entreaties of a city at prayer, what would they sound like? The Lakeside is giving you the opportunity to tabhole that very experience from late June to early August, thanks to South African artist James Webb. Created over a six-week period of research, Prayer listened in on the entreaties of virtually every religion in Notts; Anglican, Baha’i, Baptist, Brahma Kumari, Buddhist, Catholic, Congregational, Greek Orthodox, Humanist, Hindu, Jewish (Orthodox and Progressive), Methodist, Muslim, Pagan, Quaker, Salvation Army, Sikh, Spiritualist, Unitarian, and United Reform.


Sunday 20/06

Tinchy Stryder Rock City £14, 7.30pm Alejandro Escovedo The Maze £16, 7.30pm

Thursday 24/06 James Cleaver Quintet Rock City £3, 10pm Blazin’ Fiddles Lakeside Arts Centre £5/£12/£15), 8pm

The Engines Of Armageddon The Central £tbc, 7pm Plus Merciless Terror and Taken By The Tide. Violated The Central £tbc, 10pm A Plastic Rose and Kasper Rosa The Chameleon Cafe Bar £3, 8pm Plus Apes Fight Back. Detonate Stealth £10adv/£12 With Friction and SP:MC, Teebee, Jakes, Transit Mafia, Siknote and Mac plus more tbc. Take Control Spanky Van Dykes Free, 9pm - late

Saturday 26/06 DirtyFilthySexy The Central £tbc, 9.30pm Nottingham’s Gay alternative. Scarlet’s Wake The Rescue Rooms £10, £12, 4pm Plus Toxic Federation, Irene Rae, Sedlec Ossuary and Skeleton Crew. Old Basford The Hubb Free, 8pm Charles Washington Quintet Nottingham Contemporary Free, 8pm Ronnie London’s Groove Lounge The Grosvenor £3 before 11pm, 8pm - 1am

Sunday 27/06 Notts in a Nutshell The Maze £3, 8pm With Disorder, The Attics, The Bystanders, Too Late For Heroes and The Sneaks.

nottingham event listings... Monday 28/06

Saturday 03/07

Jesse Malin The Rescue Rooms £10, 7.30pm

Back To Basics The Maze £3, 10pm

Tuesday 29/06

Kreepers The Old Angel £9, 8pm With Klingonz and special guests.

Broken Social Scene The Rescue Rooms £13.50, 7.30pm

Wednesday 30/06

Deli Nottingham Contemporary Free, 8pm

The Vortex and the Fakers The Maze £tbc, 8pm

Love Zoo Gatecrasher £5 - £10

Thursday 01/07

Blondes Spanky Van Dykes Plus Kids in Glass Houses.

Cosmic American Presents The Maze £10, 7.30pm With Rod Picott and Amanda Shires.

Sunday 04/07

Francesqa and Tiger Please The Rescue Rooms £6, 7pm

Friday 02/07

Notts In a Nutshell The Maze £3, 8pm With Last Call Home, Minoans and United Nemesis.

The Happening The Orange Tree Free, 9pm - 1am

Severed Heaven The Old Angel £5, 7.30pm Plus Rannoch, Gods To Fall and Thrush Sucker.

Kellys Heroes The Hubb Free, 8pm

Farmyard Presents The Golden Fleece Free, 8pm

Saturday 03/07

Wednesday 07/07

Wildside The Central £tbc, 8pm

Ingested The Central £5, 7pm Plus Lordaeron, Dyscarnate and Introrectalgestation. 

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alley Bongo One of our fave snap-houses kicks out the jams this summer

You know all about the Alley Café – that wonderful veggie scoff-parlour tucked away in the middle of town away from the crust of meathead-pubs – but if you don’t know that they also punt out some of the finest music and art nights too, well, you obviously don’t know as much as you think. Shame on you.  Maybe you ought to get your arse over there this summer, mate.   It doesn’t matter what you’re into, as the Alleh has it all laid out over the next two months. Take Wire and Wool, a bi-monthly melding of music, film and animation that draws in talent from Notts and beyond. Their next shindig – on Thursday 3 June – is a veritable filmicfest, featuring Hatewire, Theo, Riot 4 Disco, indie-folk from Roshan Rai, and appearances from Yvonne Lake, Danny Charters and Tom Mcadam. It’s put together by I’m Not From London, so you know it’s not going to suck.   If your tastes veer towards Cab Calloway making oblique references to drugs and prostitution, however, you need to check out Jazz Hands – the AC’s brand new jazz night that launches on Thursday 8 July. Expect DJs and live acts, plus fancy outfits, frivolous cocktails, and a promise that none of the alcohol has been made in bathtubs, and any violin cases in the building actually contain violins, and not machine guns.   If you have a penchant for both Fiddly and Diddly, Jumpers For Goalposts – the venue’s monthly folk night – is the place to be, with an appearance on Thursday 17 June by the jaw-droppingly exemplary Maniere des Bohemienes, who absolutely tore down the Social at the last Hockley Hustle with their mixture of French swing and East-Euro gypsy-folk, and have been doing likewise in every venue they’ve touched since.  Oh, and did we mention that the Rigby Deep collective burn the place down on the second Friday of the month with hip-hop, funk and reggae, and that the Alley Café is the new host of the white-hot Musika DJ sessions on the second Saturday of the month, where the finest gypsy, Arabic and Balkan beats get broken down? And that all these events will cost you absolutely nuppence? The Alley Café, Cannon Court, Long Row West, NG1 6JE

Wednesday 07/07

Thursday 08/07

Friday 09/07

Phenomenal Handclap Band Spanky Van Dykes Plus Polly and The Billets Doux and Adelaide’s Cape.

Quantic and his Combo Barbaro The Rescue Rooms £15, 7.30pm

The Nightingales The Bodega £8.50, 7pm

Jazz Hands The Alley Cafe Free, 8.30pm – 12am

BassLaced Stealth £6 / £8 With Youngsta, Trolley Snatcha, Benny Page, Texie and Focus, Velor and MCs Script, Toast and Karizma.

Battle of the SOC The Alley Cafe Free,8.30pm – 12am

Friday 09/07

Thursday 08/07 With Eric Brace / Last Train Home. The Maze £10, 7.30pm

Spectrum 7 The Central £tbc, 7.30pm  



JAMES WEBB PRAYER James Webb explores what it would be like if we could hear every prayer being recited at any given moment.



HETAIN PATEL IN TEN TEN is rooted in a personal exploration of the rich spectrum between British and Indian identities.



Saturday 10/07

ngham, worldd was. ing and I found om w, Robin ays ing o China! ickname ght”

Riding through the Glen. And the Barry.Friday And the Dave. And the Nigel. 16/07


event listings... Robin Hood’s Band of Barebackers

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Proper Snap

This film offers a new slant on the legend, Maniere Des Bohemiens Tunng  The NTU city-wide photography exhibition is back as Robin (in a green Nottingham Contemporary The Rescue Rooms Ali Baba costume) and Free, 8pm £12.50, 7.30pm If you’re wondering why town seems to have turned itself into the Merry Men (reedy-looking Twinks) a massive galley, wonder no longer. It’s that time of year again recount their many adventures, which Ladyfest  Dj White Toast and Dj ex Friendly  when Nottingham Trent’s photography department punts its invariably end and sometimes start The Rescue Rooms The Hubb graduates into the big, scary world – but not before allowing with the cast putting the gayness to the £5, 4pm Free, 8pm them over to tweezer out the best examples of their work and anus. Sherwood Forest concists of the same woodpile plaster itthe all over town. and over again. Friar Tuck’s name is defiled. Worst of all, Stiff Kittens   Sheriff and Saturday 17/07 film climaxes with Robin being ‘captured’ by the The Bodega This year’s someone in Lycra chainmail leggings. While the sexuality of exhibition (in association with One Nottingham) – Free, 10pm - late formally known as The 14th Annual Nottingham Trent University The Distance  Robin Hood is up for debate, we refuse point-blank to believe Rockwould City ever give the Sheriff a nosh. Photography Degree Festival, but properly known as RAW 2010 that Robbo – showcases the best new talent in town, across a myriad of Tuesday 13/07 £5, 7pm disciplines. Fashion photography, Fine Art practice, Landscape, Plus While She Sleeps and Broken Architecture and Portraiture – it’s all here. Notts in a Nutshell  Jaws. ‘Nightscape’ by Edward Davis   The Maze And it’s all over the place as well; From Mansfield Road to Backlit on Dakeyne Street, from Carrington Street to Derby £3, 7.30pm Sunday 18/07 Road, RAW 2010 and its 86 artists criss-cross the city centre in fourteen locations - including traditional galleries, With The Hubirs, Midnight Missions, empty shopfronts, and places like the Malt Cross, the Playhouse and the old Nash Interiors building.  This policy of Kill Makara and Molotov. Folkwit Music Club Night  dragging art out of the gallery ghetto and sticking it in the faces of people who wouldn’t normally see it has already The Robin Hood paid off in spades; this year’s exhibition promises to take that ethos another step further. Kele Free, 8pm Gatecrasher With Daniel Carlson and Jezz Hall RAW 2010, across the city, until Friday 4 June £12.50 , 8pm and Andy Whittle and The Big I Am.

he Detail

plores the mythical, uess who we asked Thursday 15/07

Elizabeth Cook (Duo) The Maze £11, 7.30pm Plus Otis Gibbs.

Thursday 22/07

Warpath The Central to fit your definition of a rebel... Summerlin and Kris Corona £tbc,  7.30pm , have identified with some of the rebels Rock City Farmyard Presents  Plus Internal Conflict, The Engines ly those with the gift of the gab. But he £5, 7pm The Golden Fleece Of Armageddon and Fallen Fate. to work within a system, and he had to Free, 8pm ation of chairman and club to succeed. The Golden Filter  The Beetroot Kings  Spanky Van Dykes The Rescue Rooms uine Socialist hero or mythical Wednesday 21/07 £3, 9 £8.50, 7.30pm Plus Ecstatic Sunshine. Plus Mark Morriss (The Bluetones) dence that Robin Hood may well be Cirque Du Soleil  n. If he was, that man is far more likely to Trent FM Arena Acousticle  Jumpers for Goalposts  criminal than a socialist hero. But what’s £25 - £50 The Alley Cafe The Alley Cafe way Robin has been taken to heart is Runs until: 25/07 mething we all feel about how we would Friday 23/07 ted - with passion, but16/07 also with style. The English Rebel: One Thousand Years of Trouble-making from Friday Onward Chariots  the Normans to the Nineties by David Horspool is now out in Spanky Van Dykes Chris Hull and The Instant Band  the Notts versus Yorkshire battle paperback and published by Penguin Asbo Peepshow EP for Launch  Plus Boy Genius and Japanese The Hubb  The Central Sleepers. d have had as much to do with Yorkshire as Read the full version of this interview at 7.30pm again, the Plus The Rutherfords and guests. nt than the ook Robin as w a Nottinghis due in

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Saturday 24/07

Friday 30/07

William Control (Aiden) Rock City £10, 7pm

Random Hand The Maze £6, 8pm Plus Anti-Vigilante, Girlfixer, Minus Society and Faintest Idea.

Splendour In Nottingham 2010 Wollaton Park £30, 12pm With headliners Pet Shop Boys  (see feature on page 22 for more info).

Monday 26/07 Catch 22 The Bodega £5, 8pm

Detonate Stealth £10adv/£12 With Grooverider, Doctor P and Transit Mafia.

Saturday 31/07 Tintamarre Festival Belvoir Castle Runs until: 01/08

event listings... Theatre Wednesday 10/03 A Number Lace Market Theatre £6 / £7, 7.30pm Runs until: 13/10

Tuesday 01/06 Hatch St James Street

for more:

Sunday 20/06 Across The Deep Blue Sea Lakeside Arts Centre £6, 1230pm/3.30pm

Monday 21/06 The History Boys Royal Centre Runs until: 26/05

Wednesday 02/06

The Cripple of Inishmaan Lace Market Theatre £6 - £9, 2.30pm/7.30pm Runs until: 26/05

West Side Story Nottingham Playhouse £8 - £10 Runs until: 05/05

Friday 25/06

Friday 04/06

Paco Pena Nottingham Playhouse £18/£16/£14 Runs until: 26/06

Sheeptight Lakeside Arts Centre £7, 10.30am / 1.30pm / 3.30pm Runs until: 05/06

Sunday 04/07

Saturday 05/06 My House Lakeside Arts Centre Runs until: 06/06

Looking For The Rainbow Lakeside Arts Centre £6, 1.30pm / 3.30pm

Tuesday 08/06 Run For Your Wife Nottingham Arts Theatre £8 / £10, 7.30pm. Runs until: 12/06

Friday 09/07

Nubes (Clouds) Lakeside Arts Centre £7, Various times Runs until: 10/06

Monday 14/06 The 39 Steps Royal Centre Runs until: 19/05

Saturday 19/06 Looking For The Rainbow Nottingham Playhouse £4 / £5, 11am, 1pm, 3pm

Nottingham Contemporary takes you through Uneven Geographies this summer It’s now six months since the UK’s newest major art space came into being, and it’s already delivered on its promise of being far more than a gallery – so what next for Nottingham Contemporary after an imperious display of Hockney paintings and a fascinating collection of Cosmonaut memorabilia? Only the small problem of Globalisation, that’s all. Uneven Geographies, which is exhibiting now and runs right through to the first week of July, is a huge artistic grapple with the issue of every high street in the world looking the damn same and your grandpa’s old job being handled by five year-old girls in Indonesia. As you’d imagine, the exhibition draws upon virtually every medium, created by artists all over the world – and it’s definitely not the kind of exhibition that merely requires you to nip in, stroke your chin and go ‘Hmmm’ in an attempt to impress the opposite sex, and then nip out ten minutes later.

Probably the most striking feature of Uneven Geographies is Garden – A World Model, a space created by Brazilian geopolitical artist Öyvind Fahlström where you can pull up a cushion, and loll about in a garden containing examples of severe injustice engraved on the leaves of the plants. His countryman Cildo Meireles has chipped in his collection of doctored Coke bottles from the 1970s, which contained anti-American messages that were returned to the bottling plants and redistributed across the country. And we’ve only scratched the surface of the exhibition. It’s massive. But that’s not the only show on display this summer;  Romanian-born German twins Gert & Uwe Tobias will be putting on their first UK solo show from mid- July to Goose Fair weekend, displaying their large woodcuts, gouache paintings, typewriter drawings and ceramic sculptures which draw upon influences from early traditional folk art and abstract art from the early 20th century. And a hyper-rare collection from American photographer Diane Arbus, whose powerful portraits of people on the edge of society during the 50s and 60s round off an outstanding summer programme for the new artistic kid on the block.

Tuesday 06/07 The King and I Nottingham Arts Theatre £10 / £12, 7.30pm. and Sat mat Runs until: 10/07

Wednesday 09/06

Lace Market v Global Market

In The Spotlight - Songs From Musicals Nottingham Playhouse £18/£16, 7.30pm

Thursday 15/07 Memoirs of a Biscuit Tin Lakeside Arts Centre £5 - £12

Monday 19/07 Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street Lace Market Theatre £6 - £9, 7.30pm Runs until: 24/07

Uneven Geographies, until 2 July. Gert & Uwe Tobias, 17 July – 3 October. Diane Arbus, 24 July – 19 September. Nottingham Contemporary, Weekday Cross, NG1 2GB. All events free.

Thursday 29/07

Tuesday 01/06

Sunday 13/06

Outdoor Theatre - A Midsummer Nights Dream Nottingham Castle Runs until: 30/07

James Webb - Prayer Lakeside Arts Centre Runs until: 27/06 .

Just The Tonic Approach £14, 7.30pm With Johnny Vegas, Pete Johannson and Wes Zaharuk.

EXHIBITIONS Tuesday 01/06 The Inconsistency of Everything New Art Exchange Runs until: 03/07

Saturday 05/06 Apples and Pears and Crafty Wares Art Organisation Free, 12 - 5pm

Uneven Geographies Nottingham Contemporary Runs until: 04/07

Friday 11/06

Marek Tobolewski Lakeside Arts Centre Runs until: 13/06

And girls, too. With other textures, as well. You may have noticed that the wrappings are finally coming off the regenerated Arkwright and Newton buildings at Nottingham Trent University – and your first chance to see what £90m quid worth of fixtures and fittings gets you these days happens right now, with the 2010 Nottingham Trent University degree shows. Oh yes, the annual final year shows of students from the Schools of Art and Design and the School of Architecture, Design and the Built Environment are back, in a brand new array of settings

Open to the public, and costing you exactly nuppence, it’s a chance to find out what the bar staff of Nottingham get up to during the hours of daylight, spanning a huge range of practices and disciplines; sculpture, painting, illustration, graphics, print, moving image, theatre, digital design…it’s all on show here. Phil Cater (Furniture and Product Design) And did we mention knitwear and textiles, decorative arts, architectural design projects, futuristic products and cutting-edge furniture and interior solutions? There’ll be plenty of that, an’all.   The Gothic-style Arkwright building, with its sublimely lit studios, will be fittingly used as the exhibition space for the School of Architecture, Design and the Built Environment courses. Shows will include interior architecture and design, architecture and architectural technology, product design and furniture and product design. Meanwhile, work from courses across the School of Art and Design can, as always, be viewed in Bonington (the Uni’s purposebuilt centre for creativity) and Waverley (home to the very first Nottingham School of Art and Design in 1843). Nottingham Trent University degree shows, 5-9 June, various locations

Memory Box Cinema Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop £1, 8pm

Coming of Age New Art Exchange Runs until: 24/07

Grad Lads Get Rad With Plaid


Wednesday 02/06

End of Year Art and Media Shows South Nottingham College Free, 10am – 4pm Runs until: 22/06

Tuesday 15/06

Tuesday 15/06 An Evening With: Rabbi Lionel Blue Lakeside Arts Centre £12 - £20

Saturday 19/06 Just the Tonics Summer Special Royal Centre

Sunday 20/06 Just The Tonic Approach With Jack Whitehall and Carl Donnelly.

Carl Slater Surface Gallery Runs until: 03/07

Sunday 27/06

Wednesday 16/06

Just The Tonic Approach Andrew Lawrence and Joey Page .

Fine Art Degree Show Lakeside Arts Centre Runs until: 20/06

Sunday 04/07

Saturday 26/06

Just The Tonic Approach With Pete Firman and Phil Kay.

James Webb - Prayer Lakeside Arts Centre Runs until: 08/08

Monday 12/07

Saturday 17/07

Just The Tonic Approach £12 With John Bishop and Sean Walsh.

Paul Harrison and Nick Dunmur Edgelands Lakeside Arts Centre Free (NUS) Runs until: 05/09


Sunday 06/06 Just The Tonic Approach With Josie Long and Isy Suttie.

Sunday 18/07 Just The Tonic Approach £10 With Reginald D Hunter and Seymour Mace.

Sunday 25/07 Just The Tonic Approach £10 With Jim Jefferies and guest.


words: Jared Wilson and Beane

Another bi-month, another opportunity for us to cram as much snap into our cakey maws as possible. If you want to be featured on this page email

Homemade Café Fresh food served alfresco

They open in the day with standard lunch offerings like ciabattas and granary baguettes with tasty fillings such as serrano ham, mozzarella, tomatoes and pesto (£3.75), Marie Rose prawns, leaves and avocado (£3.50) and roast beef, tomatoes and mustard mayo (£3.65) - most of these are available as vegetarian equivalents too. Then there are the luxurious salads such as the goats cheese (with red onions, cucumber, sunblush tomatoes and pine nuts - £6.95) or the ploughman’s lunch platter (ham, cheddar, applewood cheddar, tomato chutney, cherry tomatoes and bread - £7.25). But they’re also open in the evenings from Weds-Fri until 10.30pm, with a delightfully fresh evening menu. We started off with the rocket and sunblush tomato salad (£3.95) and a round of Ciabatta and olive oil. The salad was fresh and light as expected and they certainly didn’t skimp on the Ciabatta, with more than enough for the two of us.

Established in May 2005 by Jasmin Barlow-Wilkinson, Homemade is a cosy, friendly, independent café bar just off the Market Square that - surprise, surprise, serves a vast array of homemade food.

The Larder on Goosegate Traditional and modern British cuisine

For the mains I went for the veggie bean burger, topped with salsa and rocket and served with a side of wedges and coleslaw (£7.95). If you’ve been put off bean burgers from bad experiences in fast-food joints then this is just the treat to get your taste for them back. It was slightly spicy, all-round delicious and bursting out of a sizeable chunk of bread. you discover. In fact the physical location of The Larder on Goosegate has a remarkable history of its own - the Grade II listed building was once home to a small herbalist’s shop which later became global pharmaceutical giant Boots. A prime piece of Nottingham history then. Inside the décor is refined; wooden floors and tables dominate and the place has the feel of a rich relative’s function room. With big windows across the back there’s plenty of light and a good view of the street if you fancy a spot of people watching. The menu is traditional and modern British cuisine, with an emphasis on using the best quality ingredients. Their suppliers include cheeses from Colston Bassett Dairy, meat from local smallholdings and organic vegetables from Eden Farms.

It’s easy to miss the place when you walk down through Hockley, as you have to physically look up to see it - directly opposite Brownes bar and above street level. But if you do make the effort to seek it out you’ll be pleased with what

The Food House

Starters include Roast Wood Pigeon, served with Chicory and Orange Salad (£4.95), Innes Farm Goats Curd (£4.50) and Isle of Shuna Mussels (£4.75). But we went straight for the mains. They’re particularly well known for their steaks here so we went for the 8oz Prime Rump (£14.75), which was served with chips, seasonal salad leaves and homemade ketchup. Their steaks are cut from a single muscle for tenderness and it almost melted in the mouth, with a glass of merlot (£3.95) on the side complimenting the flavour well. My guest tried the spring lamb chops with wild garlic champ and

We’ve all found ourselves stumbling down the cobbles in the madness of St James Street in the early hours of the morning, drunk, ravenous and in need of something seriously fried. You may be tempted to launch yourself into the first available chippy but I’m afraid you would be making a grave mistake if that place was the imaginarily-titled Food House. Sounding like some medieval eatery you can’t help but feel that was the original inspiration when it came to gauging how much oil, grease and batter is actually required. On my first visit what totally threw me was the battered fried chicken. That’s correct, battered fried chicken! As the hoards poured in from the surrounding bars of Snapps, Weatherspoons and The Malt Cross (hey that’s some eclectic crowd!) I couldn’t help but think of the poor chicken battered up like saveloy. Some taste sensations are simply not worth indulging in and this, my friends, is one of them. So, so wrong. 8-10 St. James’s Street, NG1 6FG


My guest opted for Foxy’s mega fish finger sandwich (£5.95) which was served with lemon and coriander mayo and peas and a round of wedges. The cordon bleu equivalent of a much-loved childhood snack, it was three-tiered in a club sandwich-style. The wedges must also be given a mention, they were crispy and tasty and had to be finished. After this we were both actually quite full. So we took away a doggy bag with a few cakes in it to try later and we would certainly be happy to recommend the homemade brownie, the chocolate crunch (£1.95) and the carrot cake (£1.40). But our favourite thing on the menu was the homemade milkshakes (£2.50). We will certainly be going back to try them again. Another great thing about Homemade is that if you’re going to a gig at The Bodega you can get 20% off your food bill on presentation of your ticket from that night’s gig. Plus, and possibly best of all for these summer months, they have half a dozen tables outside for you to dine in the sun and pretend you’re in Barcelona. 20 Pelham Street, NG1 2EG, 0115 9243030 spring onions (£15.50). The chops were tender and juicy and the vegetables had a sweet and delicate flavour. We were also tempted by the grilled sole with lemon zest mash (£13.50), their three cheese tart with Jerusalem artichoke sauce (£9.95) and the crisp belly pork with savoy cabbage, bacon and parsnip (£14.50). For dessert we shared a Vanilla Pannacotta with caramelised orange (£4.95). The flavours really came through and the creamy texture made it a joy to eat. Although in future we might be tempted to try the Caramel Parfait (£4.95) or some of their amazing selection of cheeses (four for £6 or £10 to try all eight), which someone has clearly gone to a lot of trouble to source. This place might not be everybody’s cup of tea. It’s quite a tranquil environment and not really the venue for a boozy work meal or a night out with your mates. But if you want simple food, cooked perfectly in a nice relaxed environment in town then you have come to the right place. 1st Floor, 16 -22 Goosegate, Hockley, NG1 1FE, 01159 500 111

Moulin Rouge

. As kebab shops go in Notts, we have many with their own nuances, characters and charming personalities - but when it comes to names above the door surely none can trump the Moulin Rouge for creativity. While others simply imitate, this gaff has done its research and based itself on a 19th century French cabaret club made famous by that film a few years back. Unfortunately that’s where all similarities end and I urge you not to come expecting suspenderclad can-can girls, wailing Nicole Kidman look-a-likes or magnificent firework displays. However, what you will get is a half decent lamb doner, a good value fish and chip supper and a mean chip cob that doesn’t muck about. Friendly service and a clientele list that seems to contain a hell of a lot of builders, it gets the thumbs-up here. A stones throw from the architectural abomination that is Trinity Square, you may not be in the centre of Paris but at the very least you can tell your Mam you ate at the Moulin Rouge. 5 Trinity Square, NG1 4AF,

LEFTLION ABROAD Lake Wakatipu, Queenstown, Otago, New Zealand Queenstown is a resort town in the south-west of New Zealand’s South Island. It is built around an inlet called Queenstown Bay, which rests on Lake Wakatipu.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 19)

Be careful that some words said in anger do not break someone’s heart this month. Instead break it with that axe you have been keeping in the shed, or the ice pick the workman next door left out overnight.

The lake is renowned for its scenic beauty, and surrounded by a beautiful mountain range known as The Remarkables, which lies along its southeastern edge. It is a popular venue for adventure tourism, with skifields, paragliding and bungy jumping within easy reach.

Pisces (February 20 - March 20) Saturn’s position in your sign indicated that this summer could be a magical time for romance in your life. The voices in your head agree, thinking it’s time again to follow around a few more ‘girlfriends’ before you make them ‘disappear’.

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Smooth-talking hustlers and jokers are out to fool you. You should disregard the words and predictions of anyone who speaks in terms vague and general enough to be applicable to anyone in some way or another.

There is an old Maori legend that the lake has a taniwha (a water god) sleeping in it and when the taniwha breathes in and out the water level drops and rises.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

In ancient Rome they used to say that a person’s eyes are a window into their soul. This might go some way to explaining the surprising amount of birds that keep flying straight at your head while out walking.

This photo features freelance photographer Steve Rowe and was taken by his daughter.

Gemini (May 22 - June 22)

Some people would have you believe it’s time to grow up now. But screw them! Happy birthday to you. Squashed tomatoes and stew. You look like a monkey. And you act like one too!

Cancer (June 23 - July 23) If you’re planning on committing burglary on a work colleague’s house this month, make sure you remember to take a baby mattress with you. Tie it round your left arm when fleeing from the police and raise it at a ninety degree angle to cushion the blow of their dogs.

To see more of Steve’s work visit

If you can get a LeftLion sticker or magazine somewhere exotic email it to us on

Leo (July 24 - August 23) In the back of your mind you’ve always believed in life after death. You will get conclusive proof of it this month, as well as plenty of awkward moments within your family, when your dead mother is reincarnated as your daughter.

Virgo (August 24 - September 23) If you feel that your job is making you feel like a prostitute, then why not actually become one instead? You only need to work weekends and the money can be quite lucrative. Then, if your new career makes you feel cheap, simply raise your prices.

Libra (September 24 - October 23) You will experience equal amounts of enlightenment and confusion this month when a tree falls in the woods, only to make the sound of one hand clapping.

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) Always wanted to be famous, but now at the age where you realise it’s not going to happen? If you want the same effect then just head down do your local bistro and ask for a table directly underneath the specials board. Strangers will stare in your direction all night long.

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) If you want to keep a cool house this summer then minimise the amount of appliances you leave on standby. Surveys have suggested that internal heat is generated by appliances, rather than by the rays of the sun. Do not use your washing machine during the day.

Capricorn (December 23 - January 19)

If you want to keep a cool house this summer then buy a beagle and train it to smoke. Surveys have suggested that a smoking beagle is the coolest housepet you can possibly have, ranking above a juggling monkey and a cat in a jumpsuit. Do not put the beagle in a jumpsuit.

Anna Soubry MP

Gloria De Piero MP

Bleddy HELL! It’s WAAAM! But nowhere near as hot as LeftLion #36, out on Friday 30 June. Even though we don’t even know what’s in it yet. 30


Constituency: Broxto

Constituency: Ashfie


Majority: 389

Majority 192

g Prisoner Cell TV low-point: Coverin East Midlands for l sica BlockH The Mu ay Tod

TV low-point: Covering Melinda Messenger on Live Fro m Studio Five

n Anagram: Yo anus bar

Anagram: Gooier lard pie




Issue 35  

Nottingham Culture