RESIDENT FEATURE
A Detour Through Rest, Hope, and Healing Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought it would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living. -- Rachel Martin Hope is on the horizon for three beautiful women, but it was far from easy street and it didn’t come without sacrifice or a detour from what they thought would be the trajectory for their life. What I found most fascinating in learning about their individual stories was discovering the similar themes of bravery, hope, and gratitude during treatment and afterwards. A solid lesson was how vulnerability leads to real strength. They accepted the grief that came along with their diagnosis. They grieved, but then they began to fight. They took time to rest, heal, and, although hard to do, accepted help from others. I would like to introduce you to three Short Pump residents who all are breast cancer survivors. For Susan Bishop, Tara Daudani, and Limor Glazer-Schwam, their life surviving breast cancer didn’t come without a push for growth, an increased respect for gratitude, and a pause in everyday life as they knew it.
By Dena Wentz | Photo credit: Jed Harrison Photography
I had the honor of stepping into their space to learn about their story and perspective on breast cancer in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You are cordially invited to take a journey with us. You are cordially invited to take a journey with us by getting to know the perspective of these women through interview questions.
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one must accept all such feelings – they are real and cannot be suppressed, and are all a normal part of the battle. Did your impression of cancer change after being diagnosed? I always viewed cancer very unfavorably, of course, but it became my number one enemy. What would you say to a newly diagnosed patient? Don’t expose yourself to too much info – like on the internet, and/or other patients’ scenarios. Deal with your own cancer, your own facts. There are enough things to fight right there that are real and specific to you. As my mother used to say, “don’t look for any more trouble; it will find you soon enough.”
Susan Optimistic, Confident, and Determined Diagnosed in 2016 at age 61 with Stage 3 Invasive Lobular Cancer
Did your impression of cancer change after being diagnosed? I didn’t know a whole lot about cancer before my diagnosis. I thought it was an automatic death sentence. That is not true. I quickly learned a lot about breast cancer including that one in eight women will be diagnosed in their lifetime. I also learned that there are many different types of breast cancer with varied treatment options. Because of the large amount of awareness and funding for breast cancer, researchers are developing more targeted treatments that have better results. I didn’t understand why there was such a movement to be “aware” of this disease, but now I know that it is lifesaving. Women are now more likely to get something suspicious evaluated.
Tara
What was one thing that you learned about yourself during this time? The one thing I learned is that while it was (and is) an asset to be a very strong person, it was very difficult for me as a strong individual to be the recipient of help. Grief, vulnerability, and a fear of recurrence is NOT the opposite of staying positive. I (originally) felt I needed to deny or squelch those feelings for fear it would make me less of the warrior I was against cancer. To fully embrace the diagnosis and the battle,
Confident and Loving Diagnosed in 2018 at age 37 with Stage 3 Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma What was one thing that you learned about yourself during this time? Gratitude. I realized how grateful I am to be surrounded by my family and friends. I am also grateful for the life that I have, and, now that I am cancer-free, for my health.
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RESIDENT FEATURE
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What would you say to a newly diagnosed patient? First, I’m so sorry you have to go through this but keep hope! Make sure you are working with doctors and specialists who you like and trust. Don’t be hesitant to say yes to help. You will need it and it will make this ordeal easier.
Limor Passionate, Energetic, and Caring Diagnosed in 2016 at age 52 with Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma stage 2b What was one thing that you learned about yourself during this time? I learned that there is so much kindness in this world. So many people wanted to help me in any way they could. Strangers were so kind to me. There is no time for self pity, and all energies must be put into plowing forward with the best information to make educated decisions, not wasting time. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister, physician, and a true friend to many, I was constantly concerned for all others. I was blessed with a circle of amazing friends who carried me through much of the difficult talks that were needed to help my loved ones who were falling apart with my frightening situation.
Did your impression of cancer change after being diagnosed? Until Feb 29, 2016, I had very little knowledge about cancer...especially breast cancer. I never saw the raw effects of cancer. Looking back, I think I was comfortable helping while keeping a distance since I did not know what to do in a personal way, so I helped in a way I did know. I now have an appreciation for the emotional component of the “package” that comes with a cancer diagnosis. There can be actual “terror” on a daily basis, and that can continue for years including fear of mortality, morbidity, ability to work, finances, and social changes. I remember being in shock as I walked into my infusion treatment with my group of friends, that there were patients who sat alone and sad without that support. When I was able to drive myself to 33 radiation treatments, I asked people in the waiting room constantly if anyone needed me to drive them...so happy I could finally be helpful to another. What would you say to a newly diagnosed patient? I would say that no one--and I mean NO ONE--knows what the future will be. I was given little hope by some doctors, but I got three opinions before starting treatment. I accepted help and resources of information. I let the doctors choose what would be my best chances of treatment, not what was convenient for me or cosmetically nicer. I wasted no time! My priorities needed to be set, and I insisted on emotional support for my family members. In my personal circumstance, I hid as much as possible from my aging parents. That is not always the right way,but it was for me. I also accepted the amazing help that I was offered. PATIENTS WITH HEARTS OF GOLD AND A POSSE For all three of these women, they are grateful for the village of support that they received from their spouses, family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and even strangers. They have been recipients of random acts
of kindness, meals, cards, and other help. This support is not easily forgotten. It was inspiring to listen to each one of them as they shared their own determination to give back to others. They feel so fortunate and have learned to steer the course of their lives differently with breast cancer behind them and hope and gratitude at the forefront. DREAM A LITTLE DREAM It's true. There are a lot of resources available for patients and their families, including support groups and free yoga or educational workshops. However, as families are changing and as each patient is different, new challenges surface. So, I wondered if Limor, Tara, or Susan were given a grant to help improve the care of patients at either the doctor’s office, hospitals, or anywhere else, what kind of support would be needed? Here is a summary of what they said: • A coping kit to provide business advice, legal advice, or more information to help with medical decision making. • Tips on how to transition from being an owner of your own business or working fulltime to becoming unemployed or how to reintegrate back into work. • What to do when medical bills are breaking the bank. • Cancer affects the entire family unit. It would be great to provide increased support to help with the financial, emotional, and social stressors related to diagnosis, treatment, and post treatment. • A support system for patients who do not have community. • Help with navigating resources, including finding free or affordable access to mental health and/or alternative treatments like massage, acupuncture, physical therapy for patients.
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EMPOWERED TO HELP By now, you might be wondering... How can I help a friend, neighbor, or loved one who was just diagnosed with cancer, going through treatment or even post treatment? Here is a short list of suggestions on how to help from the combined perspective of Limor, Tara and Susan: • Stay positive with an unwavering determination to beat it, but it’s ok to feel sad at times. Cancer sucks. • Surround yourself with loving positive influences even during the struggle. Help celebrate victories along the way! • Avoid blanket statements such as “call me if you need anything.” Just jump in and help. Offer what you do best. If your child plays baseball with their child, take over carpools. Bring a healthy meal. Send a handwritten card. • Just ask. How are you? How are you doing? They will tell you what they are comfortable sharing, and it really means a lot when friends and family check-in.
T hank you to Limor, Tara, and Susan who took the time to share their stories and lessons learned with us in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Dr. Limor Glazer-Schwam lives in Wellesley with her husband and dog. They have two college age children at VA Tech and CNU. Prior to diagnosis she was president of a group podiatric surgical practice in the Richmond area. She currently serves as an advocate and has spoken for breast cancer awareness. Tara is a freelance journalist. She lives in Wellesley with her husband, Rayhan, and two active daughters, Amera (7) and Adrina (3). Susan Bishop lives with her husband in Wellesley. They have 5 adult children. She is the Executive Vice President of Leaf Spring School.
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