Editor’s Perspective
Just in Time...
Predictions for 2012
Mark Vaughn, CGCS Virginia Turfgrass Journal Editor
from the VTC’s King Soothsayer
Well,
if you’re reading this, it looks like we all made it to 2012. I don’t know about you, but I sure slept better after getting that consultant in to check our vulnerabilities for the possible computer meltdown of 11/11/11. $10,000 later, and that ol’ boy had fixed all kinds of potential problems with our point-of-sale software in the pro shop, our irrigation programming, my 1999 Chevy pickup, our fairway mower and the analog clock we have hanging on the wall. He says we’re good for now, but I just know more catastrophic problems are lurking for 12/12/12. The way I figure it, though, we gotta pay him one more time, and then we’re good for the rest of this century. Of course, the bad news is that you and I ain’t making it to the next century anyway. If that isn’t enough to scare you, we are four years removed from 2008, so we have another presidential campaign to endure. But, before you reach for the Gentleman Jack, let me remind you that here at VTC Publishing World Headquarters, we always have the best interests and mental health of our readers in mind. So here, once again, is your roadmap to the future. If you don’t follow it, we can’t help you. But at least we tried. One more time for THE MAN: this is a poorly crafted attempt at satire. It is not meant to ridicule, or make fun of, or use our bully pulpit to push around, anyone. Those things have no place in a civilized society and should be banished to some place that needs them, like China. In fact, this column was not written by anyone connected with the VTC or this magazine. It just appeared one day on our doorstep as part of a manifesto to be published. Oh, the photo at the top? Just a placeholder that keeps us from redesigning the entire page. Taxes, tags and license extra. Void where prohibited.
2012 Prediction #1
Sensing the growing disillusionment with the current lineup of Republican hopefuls, former presidential candidate Herman Cain reenters the race and forms the “P” party. The party’s “We do our thinking from a different place” slogan spreads like wildfire, particularly among the male population. Among the first converts is former president and staunch Democrat Bill Clinton, who states, “Man, I’ve been waiting for a party like this my whole life.” Justin Bieber agrees to perform a free fundraising concert for the party. Campaign manager Tiger Woods announces he will conduct nationwide golf charity outings to raise money for the cause.
8 | VIRGINIA TURFGRASS JOURNAL January/February 2012 www.vaturf.org