Editor’s Perspective
Who the Heck Is Concocting This Recipe?
Stephen King? Mark Vaughn, CGCS Virginia Turfgrass Journal Editor
W
ell, it’s day 62 of the Penncross deathwatch here in Southside. I can’t TELL you when I’ve had more fun in the grass business. That ol’ voice in my head (the one I’ve referenced many times before) told me during the bucolic summer of 2009, in his best Vincent Price voice, “Ah ha ha ha! Just wait ‘til next year, boy!” Who the heck is concocting this recipe? Stephen King? Let’s see now… we’ll start with a down economy; mix it with a bad winter and an early spring; to prevent ANYONE from playing, throw in a little winter-kill; turn on some heavy water for, oh, eight or nine weeks in late spring; and then, turn that sucker up to BROIL in mid-May. Cook until DONE. And, then, I have to turn on the tube and see spectators wearing JACKETS at Pebble Beach while the paint is blistering off the outside of my ol’ Virginny home. (Hey, in case anyone is listening, I have a car, and U-Haul still rents trucks. I don’t have to stay here and take this, you know.) Whew. Now that I’ve got that out of my system, we can move on. Okay, I guess there IS some good that comes out of a season such as the one we are passing/just passed through. In fact, I can hear my mother’s voice (regular readers will know I hear this quite often) saying, “Okay, son, what did we learn?” Amateur psychologist that she is, she knew it’s the tough times that contain most of the teaching moments. So, class… what did we learn on our summer vacation this year? #1 — Never assume that things you have been spraying safely separately will react the same in a mixture. #2 — Don’t outsmart yourself. Wilting grass MIGHT die if you water it and Pythium root rot is present. It WILL die if you don’t water. #3 — Your friend “Banker Buddy” will not remember from year to year that 5 p.m. thunderstorms are not “good for your grass” when it’s been 120 degrees, and he will continue to remind you how lucky you are to be getting those timely rains. He, of course, observes all this whilst looking out the window of his climate-controlled office. #4 — Stressed bentgrass actually putts pretty good. For a while. #5 — If you think things can’t get any worse, just wait. #6 — Aerify, aerify, aerify. As my old friend Dick Fisher says, “It ain’t Rocket Surgery.” #7 — 89 degrees can be refreshing. #8 — Going forward, I will only speak of temperatures in Celsius. 35°C sounds so much better than 95°F. #9 — As tempting and as sad as it is, I probably WOULDN’T be happy in the insurance business, or any other industry besides this one. #10 — A movie theatre is a great place to chill. Better than a therapist’s couch. #11 — Cotton is no longer my fabric of choice. #12 — Properly placed, Gold Bond powder and fungicides are equally effective in reducing discomfort for their respective hosts. #13 — Good friends are better than gold. (Actually, I knew that one already.) So, if this summer didn’t run you out, I guess you’re a lifer. Pass the Prozac and the Guinness.
8 | VIRGINIA TURFGRASS JOURNAL September/October 2010 www.vaturf.org