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sHimmer & glimmer

THE ARC OF SAN DIEGO

WITH INTENTION

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PUBLISHERS

Diane Benaroya & Laurie Miller

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Alanna Maya

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Laurie Miller

CONTRIBUTORS

Barbara Birenbaum, Franklin Felber, Donald H. Harrison, Jacob Kamaras, Stephanie D. Gittleman, Salomon Maya, Jana Mazurkiewicz Meisarosh, Mimi Pollack, Rachel Stern, Eva Trieger, Deborah Vietor, Cheri Weiss

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prayers & passages

WELCOMING BABIES INTO OUR JEWISH COMMUNITY

When my daughter, Emma, was five months old, her dad and I brought her to a synagogue for a ceremony known as Simchat Bat (Joy of a Daughter). She wore a maroon velvet dress, little white tights and tiny black shoes. She charmed the rabbi by smiling and showing off her first four teeth. We confused the rabbi by not bestowing upon her a separate Hebrew first name as is customary in this country.

“Emma Hilah,” we told him. “Hilah” means “halo” in Hebrew, and by giving her this name, I felt as though we were asking an angel to always watch over her. Her Israeli dad was used to families giving their children just one (usually Hebrew) name. Middle names are not generally given to children in Israel, whereas here in the U.S. it is the norm. So, a secular first name and a Hebrew middle name was our compromise.

While there is no commandment in the Torah to officially welcome a baby girl into the Jewish community, it has become a popular and meaningful ritual for many families. The parents may explain to those gathered why

they have chosen their child’s Hebrew name. Perhaps they are honoring a beloved family member who has passed away or selected the name of a biblical character they admire. The ceremony may include blessings not only by the rabbi, but the parents, grandparents, or older siblings as well. For example: “May you grow to be a strong woman, one educated in Torah, justice, and loving kindness. May you be grounded in this world with your eyes lifted toward the heavens. May you always be sensitive to the needs of your family, friends, community, and world around you.”

The commandment of Brit Milah —to circumcise male children—is found in the Book of Genesis. God says to Abraham, “… Every male among you shall be circumcised. You shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin, and that shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and you. And throughout the generations, every male among you shall be circumcised at the age of eight days…” (Chapter 17:10-12).

The actual procedure of removing the baby’s foreskin is performed by a trained mohel. Various blessings are recited including those

over wine and bread, and some additional prayers and readings may be offered by family members to officially welcome the child into the Jewish community. As is the case with other joyful Jewish celebrations, the Brit Milah and Simchat Bat ceremonies are usually followed by a celebratory meal. While a Brit Milah or Simchat Bat may take place in a synagogue, it is common these days to hold such ceremonies in private homes. Computer and phone apps make it easy to include family members who live far away. These beautiful rituals allow families to make a commitment to raise their child in a Jewish environment, instill in them a love of Judaism and Torah, and pass down their Jewish heritage l‘dor va-dor, from one generation to the next.

RABBI-CANTOR

mazel & mishagoss

SCHMALTZ, SHPILKES & STUFFING

Thanksgiving is basically already Jewish—cooking/eating a huge meal, debating who gets seated where, guilt about second helpings and carbs—doesn’t get more Jewish than that! And Thanksgiving leftovers? Please! The Jews invented leftovers. Don’t argue with me. Who else wraps up a turkey carcass in foil, boils the bones for soup, and chases you down at your car with weighty Tupperware you’ll never return? But why stop there? With a little planning, we can transform America’s most secular holiday into a full-blown Jewish production. Start with the guest list (aka “My Big Fat Jewish Thanksgiving!”) Forget inviting just family. Invite your Rabbi, your second cousin’s fiancé, her OB/GYN, and the nice lady from synagogue who “doesn’t want to be a bother” so she somehow always ends up washing dishes in your kitchen. Oh! And instead of that little side table (for misbehaving children!) seat a few famous people there for entertainment’s sake. Here’s how that corner might play out:

Moses parts the gravy down the middle, then smashes the wishbone because he thinks wayward Hebrews might worship it. Instead of the desert, he leads his people through the dessert! Jonah professes to not eat turkey and asks for a lox platter instead since he’s a pescatarian. Plus, he can’t stop talking about a fish that swallowed him. Judah Maccabee performs a deep-frying demo because everything must be oily…even the pumpkin pie. Tevye holds up two fattening sidedishes and recites, “Tradition! On one hand

we have mashed potatoes, and on the other hand we have moistened breadcrumbs. But on the other hand, we could have (feh!) celery sticks…No, NO! There is no other hand!” Woody Allen spends the entire meal in an existential crisis over the cranberries which he calls, “The Sauce of All Sorrow” as Larry David offers his own commentary on the tart molded fruit. “It’s like Jell-O had an anxiety attack!” Seinfeld muses about the dining room’s dim lighting asking, “Nu? What’s the deal with lampshades? If it’s a lamp, why do we want shade?” Finally, Barbra Streisand stands up (as Yentl) to belt out, “Papa, can you carve the turkey for me?” which prompts Tevye to chant, “If I were a rich man…I’d pay Babs to sing at my daughter’s wedding.”

Be sure and plan Jewish Black Friday but call it “Oy Vey Day!” Instead of trampling the gentiles at Walmart for flatscreen TV’s, scope out a butcher/bakery. Storm in at 6 am shouting, “Excuse me, is the 2-for-1 slightly stale rugelach still available?” And “I’ll take a year’s worth of your clearance kosher chicken!” Burst into an alteration shop to insist they let out the hem of your husband’s yarmulkes (for half-price!) because of his irregularly shaped head. End “Oy Vey Day” by stopping into a travel agency to book an all-expense paid Guilt Trip. Disregard Cyber Monday on Amazon…cuz you’ll have “Bubbie’s Basement Blowout!” Every Jewish grandma has an untouched stockpile of appliances, coats, and serving platters “just in case.” On this day, Everything Must Go! Except her crystal stemware. Never ever

touch Bubbie’s Waterford!

But I digress. Back to Thanksgiving Day. Menu: Challah croissants shaped like mini turkeys, sweet potato hamantaschen, green bean latkes, mashed gefilte fish au gratin (to weed out guests who don’t really belong!) and a pomegranate you refer to as “the fruit of our labor” explaining its biblical symbolism whilst your kids roll their eyes. Entertainment: Instead of football, play “Guess who dried out the turkey?” and “Name that Torah portion” or alternatively, “You call this a large enough Portion for a big macher like me?!” pointing to a measly slice of cornbread. Have everyone sit in a circle and tell stories about excluded relatives nobody likes. Play a rousing round of “Never Again!” while simultaneously planning an even more elaborate dinner for Chanukah. (Note: If you have a game involving Pilgrams, never confuse it with Pograms!) Gratitude and Blessings: “May our enemies be few, our brisket be moist, and our children finally visit us!” Or “Blessed are You, King of the Universe, who gave us Stouffer’s Stove-Top Stuffing and double coupons at Ralphs.” End the night by clinking glasses of Manischewitz while proclaiming, “Next year in Jerusalem…or at least in Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.”

STEPHANIE D. GITTLEMAN WILL INJECT HUMOR INTO ANYTHING YOU HIRE HER TO WRITE. EMAIL HER AT THEQUOTEGAL@YAHOO.COM.

Linda Margolin Royal with her grandmother, Felka, on her wedding day, June 20, 1993. PHOTO BY DAVID MANE

1000 WORDS

AN AUSTRALIAN JEWISH AUTHOR'S TRIUMPH OVER ANTISEMITISM

After facing a flood of antisemitism in the publishing world, Australian writer Linda Margolin Royal brought her Holocaust story to Jerusalem, turning adversity into triumph.

Royal, a former advertising copywriter in Australia, flew to Israel to launch her bestselling debut novel, The Star on the Grave, at the Menachem Begin Heritage Center in Jerusalem, on Sept. 30.

Released last year, Royal’s historical fiction novel is based on her family’s true story of how an altruistic gentile saved her family during the Holocaust. On Aug. 24, the book won the inaugural Szymon (Simon) Klitenik Award for Jewish Fiction at the Australian Jewish Writer Awards.

Royal shared an example of the hateful antisemitic responses that her publisher, Affirm Press, had received when it promoted her book on social media, which included vicious Holocaust denial.

She said that last year, a U.S. publisher told her that Holocaustthemed books and anything by Jewish authors was unlikely to be successful. He suggested that her publisher consider removing the Star of David from the front cover, saying, “and then maybe you will have better luck.”

Four months ago, a scared Australian bookseller contacted Royal on Facebook and told her that the bookstore she worked at refused to restock more copies of Royal’s book when it sold out a month after its debut.

She also reported noticing an absence of Holocaust books on the shelves, and her suggestion for Royal to be a guest speaker had been shut down. When this bookstore employee, who is not Jewish, started wearing a Star of David necklace to support the Jewish people and out of compassion for the hostages, her work hours were immediately cut.

“She said it just got worse, and she just couldn’t stand it anymore, so she quit,” Royal stated. “I’m so sorry for what she’s going through. We have Jewish organizations that can support us, but where does she go?”

Determined to triumph over injustice and expose antisemitism in the publishing world, Royal posted a video on Facebook on June

4 about this woman’s experience. It went viral. Sales for her book skyrocketed.

Royal said it shot up from a ranking of 3 million to the No. 1 spot in the United States and Australia on Amazon for Jewish literature; in the United Kingdom and Canada, her book climbed to the No. 2 spot.

The Star on the Grave had to be reprinted in Australia because its first edition sold out like hotcakes. “It was so heartwarming to see that random people who I have no connection with, but simply because they were Jewish, went out and supported me,” Royal said.

In September, Royal’s husband and twin 29-year-old daughters accompanied her on the more than 20-hour flight to Israel from Australia for her book launch.

Royal described how at home she felt while saying Kol Nidre prayers overlooking a beach in Tel Aviv. Listening to “Avenu Malkenu” and praying for Israeli soldiers on Yom Kippur had been an emotional experience for her and her family.

“We were just in tears and thinking, ‘Why are we coming back to Australia?’ I love it here so much. I don’t want to leave,” she said. “I’ve never felt so safe.”

Royal warmly described the launch, which had 60 attendees, including her cousin and a surprise appearance from her childhood babysitter, as “a huge reunion. … It was so lovely.”

She told the audience that she was able to speak freely in Israel for the first time, describing how the alarming rise in antisemitism in Australia since Oct. 7 had resulted in terrifying attacks on homes, childcare centers, synagogues and kosher restaurants. Royal relayed how Jewish neighborhoods had to be surveilled by federal police at night.

“It was like a Hollywood movie,” she said. “The helicopters were flying really low, looking for potential terrorists.” Sounding distraught, she added, “I feel like reaching out to my dead grandmother, Felka, and asking her, ‘When do we run? Is this it?’”

LEARNING ABOUT HER PAST

Royal described the bond she felt with Felka, her paternal grandmother, whom she brought back to life in The Star on the Grave. Always the entertainer, Felka’s infectious humor and vivacious personality hid her painful past, which she kept a secret. Except for her two brothers, Felka’s entire family was murdered in Treblinka during the years of World War II and the Holocaust.

“I never saw any tears or despair from my grandmother,” Royal said at the book launch. “She only showed me love and laughter, and anyone who knew her can attest that she lived life to the fullest.”

It was not until 15 years ago, when Royal’s father turned 80, that she learned about the unspeakable tragedies that had befallen Felka’s parents, who were from Warsaw. Felka had also lost her father-in-law, Samuel, in January 1942. He was helping an elderly woman cross the street in the Warsaw Ghetto when a Nazi soldier hit him over the head with his rifle, killing him.

Royal discovered that there were two rare kind souls who not only refused to succumb to evil, but instead risked their lives and careers to save Jewish people.

“My father and Anne Frank were born in 1929, just weeks apart. Anne Frank was murdered in Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in 1944, aged 14, because she was Jewish. My father died of natural causes in 2017, aged 87. He was spared Anne’s fate only because of the actions of two brave gentiles, two men I’m aiming to immortalize.”

Jan Zwartendijk, an honorary Dutch Consul, began the process by secretly issuing visas to Curaçao, a Dutch colony to Jews fleeing from Lithuania. He told them they would have to secure transit

visas via Japan in order to get there. Chiune Sugihara, a Japanese diplomat, signed those illegal transit visas through Japan which allowed approximately 6,000 Jews to escape Nazi-occupied European countries.

Royal estimated that Sugihara and Zwartendijk saved a combined 200,000 to 500,000 of their descendants. They were both honored by Yad Vashem in Jerusalem as Righteous Among the Nations, a title given to selfless and heroic gentiles who saved Jews from the Holocaust.

When Berl Schor, 98, a Sugihara survivor, came up to Royal at the book launch, they discovered that he had probably played and gone to school with Royal’s father when they were kids.

During her speech, Royal expressed her gratitude to Sugihara, a man she never met, but who saved the lives of her parents, siblings, their children, and ultimately, her own life.

“I’m the daughter of a Polish Jew born in 1929, so the odds were against me ever having been born, given that 95% of Polish Jews were murdered by the Nazis,” she explained.

Hearing her family’s story changed the trajectory of her life. “I was a copywriter until my father told me this story of how his parents and he escaped Hitler,” she said.

Royal said that her book has become an opportunity to educate others, particularly non-Jews. She is passionate about encouraging others to “have the courage to be the one who stands up to support anyone who is being marginalized and discriminated against, and become someone who other people emulate.”

Linda Royal Margolin, flanked by Aussie friends Leone Hersch and Jill Kuchar, at her book launch in Jerusalem, Sept. 30, 2025.

SINGING & SHARING

a variety of traditional Jewish music

We welcome new members!

Email Rita for more info: rheller8@gmail.com levyaudiology.com (760)571-9465 @hearwithyourbrain

TEST YOUR JEWISH IQTM

1. Which of these is not explicitly forbidden by the Torah?

a. Getting a tattoo

b. Cutting a gash in one’s own skin for mourning

b. The Sadducees

c. The Essenes

d. The Zealots

c. Wearing clothes of the opposite gender

d. Wearing body ornaments

Hear What Matters Most This Hanukkah

Joyful conversations. Family laughter. The stories that connect generations. Hearing is at the heart of connection — especially during the holidays.

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Schedule your evaluation today and experience the joy of hearing what truly matters.

2. Which of these massculture icons is/was a Jew?

a. Marilyn Monroe

b. Madonna

c. Sarah Bernhardt

d. Elizabeth Taylor

3. Which of these movies starring Gregory Peck dealt with anti-semitism in America in the 1940’s?

a. To Kill a Mockingbird

b. Gentleman’s Agreement

c. The Scarlet and the Black

d. The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit

4. With which service does Yom Kippur begin?

a. Neilah

b. Kol Nidrei

c. Shemona Esrei

d. Minchah

5. Many of the laws of Jewish prayer are learned from which woman?

a. Hannah

b. Miriam

c. Deborah

d. Rachel

6. Which of these were the mainstream Jews during the Roman occupation of Israel, and not one of the many splinter factions?

a. The Pharisees

7. When did Israel wrest control from Jordan of the territory of Judea and Samaria, commonly known as the West Bank?

a. 1948

b. 1956

c. 1967

d. 1973

8. Which Jew invented the modern seamless rubber condom?

a. Marcus Welby

b. Richard Mannheimer

c. Julius Fromm

d. Marvin Trojan

9. What is the meaning of this wry Yiddish expression, “Yidn zenen vi mentshn, ober nokh mer mentshn”?

a. Jews can be mentioned, as long as knocked when mentioned

b. Jews are like people, only more so

c. Jews seen when mentioned should not be mentioned

d. Jews should be seen when heard, but not ever heard

10. Which Nobel Prizewinning Jew, called the “father of chemotherapy,” discovered the first “magic bullet,” a targeted cure for syphilis?

a. Linus Pauling

b. Albert von SzentGyorgyi

c. Jonas Salk

d. Paul Ehrlich

SHIMMER & GLIMMER

THE ARC OF SAN DIEGO'S WINTER WONDERLAND FASHION SHOW & LUNCHEON

Each December, The Arc of San Diego transforms the grand ballroom of The US Grant Hotel into a sparkling celebration of fashion, community, and compassion. This year’s Winter Wonderland Fashion Show & Luncheon, themed “Shimmer & Glimmer,” promises to be a dazzling affair—and one with a powerful purpose.

EMPOWERING INDIVIDUALS WITH DISABILITIES

The Arc of San Diego is the county’s largest, most comprehensive service provider for people with disabilities, supporting more than 2,000 children and adults each year. From early intervention for children to job training and residential services for adults, The Arc helps individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities—including autism, cerebral palsy, and Down syndrome—reach their full potential.

“Our mission is to support and empower individuals with disabilities to achieve their goals and live rich, fulfilling lives,” says a spokesperson for The Arc. “Community support makes all of this possible.”

CHAMPIONS OF COMPASSION:

DR. HOWARD AND BARBARA MILSTEIN

Leading this year’s celebration as Honorary Chairs are Dr. Howard and Barbara Milstein, a couple whose dedication to philanthropy and inclusion has inspired many. Dr. Milstein, a board-certified dermatologist and founder of the La Jolla Dermatology and Cosmetic Surgery Center, and his wife, Barbara, a community leader and philanthropist, have long been advocates for those in need.

Their involvement with The Arc began with a simple desire to make a difference—and has since evolved into a fiveyear partnership that has helped raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for programs that support essential services for more than 2,000 children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, including autism, cerebral palsy, and Down syndrome.

Their leadership and visibility have elevated the event’s profile, drawing in hundreds of attendees and inspiring others to give. As presenting sponsors, their generous support has helped ensure the sustainability of programs that provide day training, employment, and residential services to individuals with disabilities.

“Giving back is an important part of our lives,” says Dr. Milstein. “I’ve always believed in the power of care and compassion—not just in medicine, but in how we support our

community. Working with The Arc of San Diego shown us how vital it is to stand beside individuals with disabilities and help them thrive.”

Barbara adds, “Supporting organizations like The Arc of San Diego is deeply meaningful to us. We’ve seen firsthand the joy and independence these programs bring to people’s lives, and we’re honored to be part of that journey.”

A FASHIONABLE FUNDRAISER

The Winter Wonderland Fashion Show & Luncheon is one of The Arc’s most beloved annual traditions—and one of its most impactful fundraisers. Presented by renowned style personality Leonard Simpson, the show features an exquisite runway presentation of holiday fashions for men and women, complete with delightful surprises (last year’s four-legged models nearly stole the show!).

Guests will also enjoy a holiday shopping boutique, elegant luncheon, and exciting silent and live auctions led by auctioneer Clint Bell. Returning as emcee is the effervescent Mary Murphy, ballroom dance champion, television personality, and former So You Think You Can Dance judge, whose warmth and energy light up the room.

A GOAL THAT SHINES BRIGHT

Over the past five years, the event has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for The Arc’s programs. This year, organizers hope to surpass $100,000—funds that will directly support individuals with disabilities through day training, employment, and residential programs.

“Every ticket sold and every donation made helps us continue our mission,” says The Arc’s development team. “It’s a celebration of style, generosity, and the spirit of inclusion.”

JOIN THE CELEBRATION

The Winter Wonderland Fashion Show & Luncheon will be held on Friday, December 5, 2025, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at The US Grant Hotel (326 Broadway, San Diego).

VIP Couture Circle Tickets are $225, and Gold Tickets are $155. Sponsorship opportunities and tables of ten are also available.

To reserve your seat or learn more, visit www.arc-sd.com/ winterwonderland, call (619) 795-4186, or email JNavarra@arcsd.com.

PUMPKIN BEEF BOLOGNESE

BY DINI KLEIN @PREPANDRALLY

Fall is in full swing that means adding pumpkin into everything and pulling out all your favorite comfort food recipes. This recipe has it all and will be a winner for your weekday dinners and is even nice enough to serve at a Thanksgiving feast. If you love it be sure to tag us @prepandrally so we can reshare (and salivate) at your creation.

PUMPKIN BEEF BOLOGNESE

Makes 4 servings

INGREDIENTS

1 pound ground beef

2 large carrots, finely diced

2 celery stalks, finely diced

1/2 sweet onion, finely diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 cup dry red wine

1, 20-ounce jar marinara sauce

1 cup pure pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling!)

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat a large saucepan over medium heat and add the ground beef and a pinch of salt and pepper. Once the beef is cooked, remove from the pan.

2. Add the carrots, celery, and onion to the hot pan and saute for about 3-5 minutes. Add the garlic and saute for another minute.

3. Add the red wine and let cook down for about 1 minute, then add the cooked ground beef, marinara sauce, and pumpkin. Stir until combined, and let simmer for about 20-30 minutes.

4. Remove from the heat. Serve over pasta, rice or any other way you love!

Fall is in full swing, and that means adding pumpkin to everything.

Dini Klein is a food host, founder of the Prep + Rally ™ family meal prep subscription service, and the author of Prep + Rally; An Hour of Prep, a Week of Delicious Meals. Klein has worked with brands such as Walmart, Starbucks, Weight Watchers, Popsugar, Barilla, and has appeared on national television from CW to Hallmark Channel and Access Hollywood.

Prep + Rally™ is Klein’s solution to getting a wholesome dinner on the table on those busy weeknights when juggling mommy-ing and work life feels almost impossible. She shares her creativity in the kitchen to help moms all over the world. You can find her @prepandrally on all social media platforms and her subscription service, www.prepandrally.com.

This recipe was submitted by the non-profit organization, Sharsheret: The Jewish Breast Cancer and Ovarian Cancer Community. If you or someone you love has been impacted by breast or ovarian cancer or has elevated genetic risk, contact Sharsheret for free support and resources. For more information, visit sharsheret.org or call (866) 474-2774.

Giving with Intention A Guide to Meaningful Year-End Donations

BY KRISTIN WIGGINS, SAN DIEGO FOOD BANK

The year-end season is a powerful time for giving. For families struggling to make ends meet, every act of generosity makes a meaningful difference. Your support strengthens community and provides real, tangible relief to those in need.

That’s why this time of year brings so many appeals from nonprofits and community organizations asking for support. Year-end giving helps countless nonprofits, including my organization, the Jacobs & Cushman San Diego Food Bank, meet the increased need seen every winter.

This year, that need is even greater, as federal funding cuts and a government shutdown further strain essential safety-net services, leaving nonprofits to fill widening gaps for families who depend on them.

It’s more important than ever that donors know their money is going to the right organizations, so they can ensure it reaches those who need it most. Here are a few ways to give meaningfully.

TRANSPARENCY

Reputable nonprofits are open about their mission, leadership and finances—and proud to show where donations go. Before giving, take a few minutes to explore an organization’s website for its annual report, impact data or financials. You can also look them up on GuideStar or Charity Navigator, which provide detailed information about transparency, accountability and performance. If something feels unclear or overpromised, trust your instincts and ask questions. Good organizations value informed donors who want to give responsibly.

IMPACT

Every nonprofit has a mission, but the most effective ones can show measurable outcomes, such as how many families are served, how programs are evaluated and what progress is being made over time. Look for stories, data or updates that demonstrate real impact.

VALUES IN ACTION

Generosity is a joyful expression of our deepest values. It’s how we use our resources—time, talent and treasure—to strengthen communities, uphold what we believe in, and make the world a better place for all. Choose organizations whose work reflects your passions, whether that’s supporting those in need, investing in education, protecting the environment or helping veterans.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Consider keeping your giving close to home. Local or regional nonprofits often make the most visible difference by helping your neighbors in need. Supporting local organizations strengthens San Diego County as a whole and ensures that help reaches those who might otherwise fall through the cracks.

The San Diego Food Bank is the largest independent hungerrelief organization in San Diego County, providing a vital food safety net for people in need with the help of a robust network of more than 450 local partners. Last fiscal year, we distributed nearly 53 million pounds of food and supplies across the region.

As a Platinum-level GuideStar participant and four-star Charity Navigator organization, we hold ourselves to the highest standards of transparency and accountability, ensuring that $0.94 of every dollar donated is spent directly on programs that serve our community.

KRISTIN WIGGINS IS VICE PRESIDENT OF PHILANTHROPY AT THE JACOBS & CUSHMAN SAN DIEGO FOOD BANK.

Brenda Viola HOW TO BE HEARD WITHOUT SCREAMING!

BY DEBORAH VIETOR

Have you ever felt something magical while experiencing an inspirational presentation, finding it life changing? Meet Brenda Viola, author, speaker and communications Guru.

Brenda spoke recently at a Rancho Santa Fe Toastmaster’s meeting, where she enlightened and entertained the crowd.

Her latest book How To Be Heard Without Screaming! describes how only 7% of communication is verbal, with vocal inflection, pauses and timing creating a huge difference. Each chapter of the book concludes with exercises enabling readers to practice skills illustrated in the book.

I, her first book has many applications for work and life in general. These include:

• Teamwork: Asking for help at times while working together in a group.

• Rest: Rest in your soul and step away from drama, unplug and establish healthy boundaries, learn to say no.

• Levity: When things go wrong, this can make for a good laugh, creating the best laugh.

These elements can resonate with all of us.

“Each chapter’s checkpoint shares strategies to change burnout behaviors and I teach this workshop nationwide, helping people reconnect with themselves and restore balance,” Viola said.

Viola begged for a tape recorder as a child as she loved “interviewing” her friends. Though her dream was to be the next Diane Sawyer, she

landed a position with QVC as one of the original show hosts.

For years, working in corporate America as a VP of Marketing & Communications, she also provided public speaking. She also enjoyed a career as a news anchor and reporter. She now provides one-on-one executive and life coaching, as well as public speaking, the cornerstone of her work.

“If there is a dream in your heart, you must pursue it,” she says.

This has become her mantra.

Brenda’s 2024 children’s book, Annabelle the Octopus is a collaborative effort with her sister Shirlee DiBacco, a gifted artist who illustrated the book. A poem Brenda wrote in the book exemplifies how when Annabelle struggles to become unstuck from coral and her shyness, she learns to ask for help, overcoming her obstacles.

Regarding public speaking, she says, “Care more about the people you are talking to than worrying about what they think of you. The more prepared you are, the less scared you are. Free yourself up to just ‘be.’”

Viola wants her audiences to feel seen, heard and loved. She shares the same sentiment in her books.

BRENDA VIOLA’S BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. VISIT WWW.BRENDAVIOLA.COM TO PURCHASE BOOKS AND EMAIL HER AT BRENDA@BRENDAVIOLA.COM TO INQUIRE ABOUT INCLUDING HER IN YOUR ORGANIZATION, WORKPLACE OR CONFERENCE TO LEARN HOW TO CONQUER LIFE’S CHALLENGES.

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What Zionism Means Now

CONVERSATIONS FOR A SHARED JEWISH FUTURE

The Z3 Project®, an initiative of the Oshman Family JCC, invites Jewish communities around the world to imagine a thriving Jewish future through open conversation and shared purpose. Guided by three core principles—unity, not uniformity; diversity of voices; and engaging as equal partners—Z3 fosters a vibrant public square where Jews from across the political and religious spectrum can dialogue about Israel, the Diaspora, and the evolving meaning of Jewish life today.

Now, for the first time that spirit is coming to San Diego as Z3@ SAN, a two-day gathering that brings together global ideas and local voices in conversation. Built by the Lawrence Family JCC, Congregation Beth El, and community partners including Murray Galinson San Diego-Israel Initiative (MGSDII), American Jewish Committee (AJC), Stand With Us, the Israeli American Council (IAC), and Hillel of San Diego, Z3@SAN is not a conference you attend. It’s a conversation you join.

As Hannah Cohen, CJC Board Chair and Chair of Z3@SAN, explains, “This program highlights the importance of Zionism, not just as part of our past but essential to the future of Jewish peoplehood. Over the weekend, we plan to demonstrate the ways in which Zionism impacts and is impacted by future generations.”

Inspired by beloved Tapestry programs, Z3@SAN carries that same love of learning and connection, but with a focus on dialogue over doctrine. Instead of lectures, we’re creating space for exchange: listening, questioning and exploring what it means to live as part of a

global Jewish people, with hearts rooted both in Israel and here.

SATURDAY EVENING: YOUNG VOICES LEADING THE WAY

The weekend begins Saturday, Dec. 6, at Congregation Beth El with a Young Zionists Panel featuring essayists from Young Zionist Voices alongside young leaders from San Diego. Together, they’ll explore how the next generation defines Zionism—how it shows up in art, pop culture, and the stories we tell about who we are.

This evening will highlight the creative and complex ways young Jews engage with identity and belonging. It’s a space for curiosity, connection, and courage: the spirit of unity without uniformity that the Z3 Project champions.

SUNDAY: BIG QUESTIONS, REAL CONVERSATIONS

On Sunday, December 7, we’ll gather at the Lawrence Family JCC for an Opening Plenary with Zack Bodner, President and CEO of the Oshman Family JCC and founder of the Z3 Project. He’ll explore how this movement began, and how local gatherings like Z3@SAN are reimagining the future of Jewish dialogue.

From there, participants will choose among Breakout Sessions led by Saturday’s panelists and community leaders. Topics include The Evolution of Zionism, Reclaiming Zionism Through Art, Zionism in Pop Culture, The Shattered Myth of Jewish Security, and Peoplehood as Empowerment. Each session is designed not as a debate, but as a shared exploration.

As Cohen adds, “We want to address and dispel misconceptions and challenge rising antisemitism through open dialogue, honest conversation, and community learning.”

WHY Z3@SAN MATTERS

At a time when conversations about Israel can feel polarized or painful, Z3@SAN offers something rare: a space rooted in respect, curiosity, and belonging. It’s where ideas meet empathy, and where the future of Jewish life is shaped by those who show up.

When we listen deeply, challenge thoughtfully, and stay connected even when it’s hard, we have the opportunity to reach understanding.

Presented by the San Diego Center for Jewish Culture at the Lawrence Family JCC, JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS, Z3@SAN Weekend runs December 6-7, 2025. Learn more and register at lfjcc.org/Z3.

The Z3 Project is an initiative of the Oshman Family JCC. Z3 is a registered trademark.

'WONDERFUL INCONGRUITY'

JEWISH HUMOR IN NETFLIX'S LONG STORY SHORT

BY ANNA RAHMANAN | JNS.ORG

The Netflix animated series Long Story Short, which premiered last month, is drawing attention both for its creator, Raphael Bob-Waksberg, of BoJack Horseman fame, and for its treatment of Jewish family life through humor.

The series follows the Schwoopers, a middle-class Jewish family, across decades. It proceeds in a non-linear fashion, highlighting the tensions, joys and incongruities of American Jewish life.

Jeremy Dauber—the Atran professor of Yiddish language, literature and culture at Columbia University, and director of its Institute for Israel and Jewish Studies—said that he has been enjoying the series “very much.”

Bob-Waksberg has a “deep sense of certain kinds of Jewish language and Jewish knowledge that is sometimes absent in some treatments of American Jewish life,” Dauber, author of the 2017 book Jewish Comedy: A Serious History, said.

“It has a lightness of touch. It makes it enjoyable and anthropological at the same time, just like ‘BoJack,’” he said. (BoJack Horseman, an animated series that ran for six seasons, has developed a cult following and has won and been nominated for several awards.)

Dauber thinks Long Story Short balances specific and universal themes effectively, and, though the Schwoopers don’t represent all American Jewish families, the show captures the diversity and contradictions of Jewish life.

“It’s sort of honest to a wide range of experiences without being precisely identical to any particular one,” the scholar said. “Comedy a lot of times is from the juxtaposition of opposites and wonderful incongruity, and he is able to draw on some of these differences in order to create those clashes even within a family structure.”

The interplay between conflict and closeness is central to both the narrative and to the Jewish comedic tradition, according to Dauber.

“Any story about a culture has to be about a narrative conflict or dynamism, or else you don’t have a story,” he said.

Bob-Waksberg “does a nice job of giving us a sense of how acorns of familial tensions and stress can grow into kernels of conflict, and how distance and proximity are hand in hand,” he said. “They’re close, but they are alienated and take different paths.”

Judy Batalion, author of the forthcoming novel The Last Woman of Warsaw, has often written on Jewish identity and culture. She said that the series uses comedy in line with a long tradition of Jewish humor, serving as both a coping mechanism and a cultural connector.

“Humor has helped Jews cope and survive through many difficult historical moments and functions in different ways,” she said. “Humor provides solidarity. Humor shows and reinforces distance from trauma. Self-deprecation is a way to control an otherwise uncontrollable situation.”

When one laughs, “one feels relief and pleasure, even if for just a few seconds,” she said.

Dauber said that Jewish humor has, at times, operated in very different ways.

“Jews use comedy in all sorts of different ways,” he said. “One of those ways is to reflect on history and take external events and think about them, but other ways are about taking a mirror that is being held up to different facets of my life, one shaped by my Jewishness.”

The focus in Long Story Short on a distinctive but relatable family reflects the modern American Jewish condition, according to Dauber.

“You have a diverse, composite family here that is very unique and individual, but in that sense, its idiosyncrasy is a hallmark of the American Jewish condition,” he said. “The modern one in particular.”

“This is a show whose kind of ‘unique’ and ‘idiosyncratic’ feels very American Jewish, because American Jewish life has generated the possibility of being so unique and idiosyncratic,” he said.

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Fill your pockets with GREEN! While helping the community get their word out.

ANSWERS TO TEST YOUR JEWISH IQ

1. d. Jewish women in the Torah loved their rings, nose rings, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, etc. They still do.

2. c. Despite her Jewish ancestry, French actress Bernhardt spent much of her childhood in the late 1800s at a convent school.

3. b. In Gentleman’s Agreement, Peck plays a magazine journalist who pretends to be a Jew to experience bigotry through an empathetic perspective.

4. b. Kol Nidrei, literally “all vows,” declares all unintentional vows null and void. Neilah is the closing service of Yom Kippur.

5. a. The Kohen Gadol (High Priest), Eli, saw Hannah praying so fervently for a child, he upbraided her, thinking she was drunk. After Eli blessed Hannah, she gave birth to Samuel, the prophet who anointed the first kings of Israel, Saul and David.

6. a. The Pharisees are the progenitors of the Talmud and modern Judaism. The Sadducees denied the divine origin of the Oral Law. The Essenes were an extreme mystic Jewish sect. The Zealots comprised groups of nationalistic extremists, such as the Sicarii (daggermen), who carried daggers to kill Jews who cooperated with the Romans.

7. c. In June, 1967, during the Six-Day War, Israeli forces captured Judea, Samaria, and East Jerusalem, then ruled by Jordan.

8. c. Julius Fromm developed, patented, and mass-produced seamless condoms that were much thinner and more elastic than others. Fromm’s condoms were so successful that Fromms became a generic term for condoms in Germany. His business and personal property were seized by the Nazis in 1938, and he and his family fled to London in 1939.

9. b. “Jews are like people, only more so” suggests that Jews embody both good and bad human qualities in a more concentrated or intense way. Also, the Jewish experience has created a people that lives on a heightened emotional and intellectual plane.

10. d. Coining the term “chemotherapy,” Paul Ehrlich was the first to propose the concept of a “magic bullet,” a chemical that could be created to specifically target and kill disease-causing microbes without harming the host’s cells. Ehrlich discovered a chemical compound that was the first effective medicinal treatment for syphilis, transforming it from an often-fatal and chronic disease into a curable one.

0 – 2 Talmid/Talmida (Student)

3 – 5 Melamed/Melamedet (Teacher)

6 – 8 Talmid Chacham/Talmidat Chacham (Scholar)

Email dianeb@lchaimmagazine.com with your resume and ideas.

REBUILDING A FAMILY LEGACY

THE VINEYARD OF NIR OZ

BY LINDA GRADSTEIN | JNS.ORG

Gal Pauker, 25, grew up around wine. His grandfather, Gideon Pauker, and three of Gideon’s buddies—Gadi Mozes, Haim Perry and Yoram Metzger—started a winery on Kibbutz Nir Oz in southern Israel, where they filled about 1,300 bottles a year with fine wine.

It was a joint effort: Gideon planted the vineyard that supplied the grapes, and the friends would harvest together, choose the blend together, and enjoy the wine together.

Then Hamas terrorists attacked the kibbutz on Oct. 7, 2023. Of the four men, only Mozes, 80, the oldest hostage abducted from Nir Oz, survived. He found out his friend Gideon had been killed when he returned from 480 days of Hamas captivity. The other three were murdered either on Oct. 7 or while being held by Hamas.

“Gideon and I have been friends since 1961,” Mozes said in a phone interview. “He came from Nahariya and I came from Hadera and we both moved to Nir Oz. We became very close. We got married together, got divorced together, and had children and grandchildren together.”

They also drank wine together. Mozes said that Gideon Paulker was the spirit behind the winery, and was responsible for the equipment. On weekends, they and their wives hung out frequently, sipping their wine.

Mozes said he often thought about the vineyard when he was in Hamas captivity in Gaza, afraid that it would not be taken care of or had been ruined by the fighting. He recently moved back to Nir Oz and said it’s good to be home, although he sorely misses his friends.

On Oct. 7, Gideon Paulker was murdered by Hamas in his home a week before his 80th birthday. He and his wife, Orna, were in their safe

Gal Pauker at the winery on Kibbutz Nir Oz.

room when Hamas terrorists opened fire. He was left to bleed to death; Orna survived. At his funeral, a bottle of his wine was put on top of the coffin during the burial service.

His grandson, Gal, grew up on Nir Oz and started working in the winery as a child. After his grandfather was murdered and the kibbutz was evacuated, he moved to Ein HaBesor, a moshav in southern Israel, and opened a winery there where he is producing the current vintage with grapes purchased from other wineries.

Gal has decided to expand his grandfather’s winery and make it a commercial enterprise, selling about 50,000 bottles a year. He has just started studying winemaking at Ariel University.

“I am just trying to make the Paulker winery the highest-quality winery that I can,” he said, adding that he sees the winery as a homage to his grandfather.

“He was a man who enjoyed small pleasures,” Gal said. “He was a man who liked good food and good alcohol, but it was all an excuse to meet new people, and the winery made it easier to connect.”

The first harvest in Nir Oz was in 2008, a labor of love by Gideon Paukner and his friends.

“All of the work was done by friends and relative as well as me and my younger brother Sivan,” Gal relates. “The winery filled by grandfather’s life with joy.”

The wine got better with each successive vintage, he says, as Gideon and his friends learned more about growing the grapes, mixing the blends, and aging the wine.

Gal’s brother Sivan was wounded on Oct. 7 and is still recovering.

Sivan was at his girlfriend’s house in Kfar Azza when Hamas terrorists came in.

“They shot three bullets through the door of the safe room, and he was wounded in both arms,” he said. “They escaped the house and ran through the kibbutz to her parents’ house. He told her parents how to put on a tourniquet, and he spent eight hours there until my cousin, who is special forces of the police, rescued them. Sivan was taken by helicopter to Sheba Hospital and spent six months there.”

Gal says that until his grandfather was killed, he never thought he would become a professional winemaker. He and his girlfriend took a post-army trip to Australia and had planned to move to Nir Oz jut before Oct. 7. His father Raz is an agriculturist and Nir had been working with him before Gideon was killed.

“More than a career, my grandfather gave me a way of life,” Gal said. “It started as a way to honor him, and I hope I still am, but it’s become a way of life for me and a career. I see it as a way of moving from past to future.”

He said that every time he returned to Nir Oz to make the wine, he felt more connected to his grandfather. “I have a chance to finish something that my grandfather started and to make it bigger and more professional,” he said. “It is a way to honor my grandfather’s work and his kibbutz.”

He and his girlfriend have just moved back to Nir Oz and plan to build a new winery there.

A bottle of wine and a glass on the coffin at Gideon Pauker’s funeral, Oct. 23, 2023. PHOTO BY GAL PAUKER.

NEWS TO KNOW NOW WHAT

THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT

SDJA WELCOMES OVER 340 TO “GRANDPARENTS AND SPECIAL FRIENDS DAY”

More than 340 people came to San Diego Jewish Academy for the annual “Grandparents and Special Friends Day.” Visitors joined their students for a day of learning and fun. Classroom activities included grandparents sharing family recipes, discussing what makes their family special, and exploring family origins and ancestral journeys. The entire school and guests came together for a lovely outdoor kabbalat shabbat lunch.

“As always, Grandparents and Special Friends Day was such an uplifting experience for our entire community,” said Zvi Weiss, Head of School at SDJA. It’s a chance for our students to showcase their learning and growth with some of the people closest to them. Everyone leaves that day feeling better about the future of the Jewish People, both locally and beyond.”

JOAN JACOBS SIGNATURE BRUNCH AT JEWISH FAMILY SERVICES

On Oct. 26, the first-ever Joan Jacobs Signature Brunch brought together our community for an inspiring morning featuring Julianna Margulies. The event, apply named Resilience and Renewal—Finding Strength in Every Chapter, was held at the Hyatt Regency La Jolla at Aventine. Though best known for her award-winning roles in ER and The Good Wife, Margulies is also a best-selling author. She is a passionate advocate for social change who uses her platform to foster Holocaust education and women’s empowerment. In the aftermath of Oct. 7th, Margulies was one of the few actors to condemn the attack and express her concern about rising antisemitism. She eventually concluded that peer-to-peer education is the most effective way to combat ignorance and hate.

In a conversation led by Laura Fink, Margulies reflected on the many lessons of her unconventional upbringing. She talked about finding strength and community through life’s chapters, and the role of having a purpose. Together, Margulies and Fink reminded us of the power of resilience, storytelling, and connection as we continue to move forward.

Attendee Anne Jaffe remarked “Jewish Family Services builds resilience through empathy, compassion, and community. This inspiring event, highlighting women’s leadership and Julianna Margulies’s personal story reminded us of the power we share when we come together.”

ALAN MAISEL: THE KOSHER COMEDIOLOGIST

He spent 40 years healing hearts with medicine, now he’s healing them with humor. An internationally recognized cardiologist and medical innovator, his blood test for heart failure is used in hospitals worldwide.

As a comedian, Dr. Alan Maisel takes the stage with outrageous medical stories, fearless Jewish humor, and heartfelt reflections on life, love, and aging. From growing up as a “Jewnicorn” in rural Michigan to reviving a passenger mid–Fifty Shades of Grey, Maisel proves that laughter really is the best medicine.

He’s performed at top venues including The Comedy Store, La Jolla Comedy Club, and the Roosevelt Hotel, earning laughs for his quick wit, fearless honesty, and heart-smart humor.

What do you get when you cross a world-class cardiologist with a stand-up mic? A fast-paced night of comedy that’s good for your health and your soul.

BULLETS & BAGELS EXPANDS TO SAN DIEGO COUNTY

Bullets & Bagels—the club that blends friendship, food, and firearms—is bringing its signature experience to San Diego County with an inaugural event at North County Shooting Center on November 30, 7-10 a.m.

The anticipation is high as the club expands its unique brand of social shooting events to a new region known for its vibrant community and enthusiasm for the shooting sports. The North County Shooting Center staff couldn’t be more welcoming, and plans are already in motion for future events.

Lance Cummings ,Chief Warrant Officer, USN (Ret.)—Original Member of SEAL Team 3 will be the Guest speaker. Attendees will hear firsthand stories and insights from one of America’s elite warriors. All levels welcome—from first-timers to experienced shooters. Bullets & Bagels proudly embraces Pro-USA values, American exceptionalism, the Second Amendment, and Zionism, while remaining apolitical at all events to ensure a positive experience for everyone.

No walk-ins, must be a member ($10, cancel anytime). Sign up at www.bulletsandbagels.com or email info@bulletsandbagels.com.

Ready- Aim - SCHMEAR!”

POST 385 NORTH COUNTY “Boldest Post in the West”

• Fight anti-Semitism

• Support our military overseas

• Support Naval Hospital San Diego & Naval Hospital Camp Pendelton

Meet on the 2nd Sunday of the month • 11am THE OLDEST CONGRESSIONALLY COMMISSIONED VETERANS

LCDR USNR Sheldon Kleiman 858-229-8847 Skleiman@sbcglobal.net