Leslie Blake Magazine

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Leslie Blake March 2012

Lauren Liess An up & coming designer with good taste and an eye for beauty

Check out Our Book Reviews!

Chef Nyesha Arrington She’s more than just a great cook!

Waiting for Mr. Right How Could that be wrong?

Be Heart Aware Heart disease is the #1 killer of women. Do you know the symptoms?

Take Hold of your Passion Finding out what you love and making it your life







This tribute to female beauty signals contemporary elegance embodied by a woman with an instinctively classic sense of style. Her essence is a soft, rosy floral designed around a bouquet that evokes precious, delicate sensuality. Petal by petal, the scent reveals a timeless rose blend that channels the heritage of the consummate Italian fashion brand.

Notes: Pink Grapefruit, Mandarin, Peach, Muguet, Bulgarian Rose, Peony, Geranium, Madonna Lily, Plum, Ambrette Seed, Vanilla, Amber, Musk.


Marc Jacobs Lola Marc Jacobs 3.4 oz Eau de Parfum Spray This warm floral bouquet conveys the free spirit of today's sexy, modern girl - she is playful, cool, and flirtatious. The long-lasting, day-and-night scent opens with pink peppercorn, pear, and ruby red grapefruit. Blooming midnotes of rose, fuschia peony, and geranium make a feminine statement. Layers of vanilla, warm tonka bean, and creamy musk create a sensuous drydown.


Leslie Blake

an interactive e-magazine

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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LIFESTYLE

FASHION & BEAUTY

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ETIQUETTE – A LOST ART What happened to charm and grace? We’ve got etiquette tips for you.

ALL ABOUT THE BROW Eyebrows play a big part in getting that look. How are yours shaping up?

102 SOCIAL MEDIA REALITY You can be who you want to be on Facebook, Twitter and the likes, but is it healthy?

32 ETSY ENTREPRENUERS THE STUDIOELLE An Etsy designer shares her handmade jewelry with us.

100 INSPIRED We were inspired by the designs of Laura Liess

45 DRESSING FOR THAT JOB INTERVIEW We’ve got tips and the clothes to get that job!

85 FASHION ON A BUDGET We’ve got blogger Megan Robinson telling us about how to shop on a dime and look good!

March 2012

Volume I

Number 3

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94 GLAM IT UP! MAKEUP FROM DAY TO NIGHT Makeup by Denise is back with more of her glamorous tips.

74 PURE STYLE Lauren Liess’ textiles.

98 MISSONI Big name designer at discount store? Yep, Missoni’s at Target.



www.laylagrace.com



Leslie Blake TABLE OF CONTENTS

COVER STORIES 24 BE HEART AWARE Heart Disease is the #1 killer of women. How much do you know about it?

68 CHEF NYESHA ARRINGTON She’s been on Food Network and Bravo, now she’s in our magazine. But she is so much more than a chef!

46 TAKE HOLD OF YOUR PASSION What are you passionate about? Learn how to make that your life.

50 LAUREN LIESS Up and coming DC designer shows us her designs, even those she’s created for herself.

108 WAITING FOR MR. RIGHT – HOW COULD THAT BE WRONG? How high are your hopes in finding the perfect man? Will you have to settle or just keep waiting?



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Leslie Blake HEALTH & WELLNESS

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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IN EVERY ISSUE

FEATURES 41

Dear Chloe Politics 101 Your Finances Going Green What’s on Leslieblakemag.com Let’s Cook Legal Corner Contributors

96 65 89 84 16 66 93 21

LOVE & SEX 92 FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T TELL YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND Lots of things you shouldn’t share. We’ve got five.

104 LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT MYTH OR MAGIC Can you really fall in love with someone as soon as you see him?

SOULKU Two woman needed to bring in a little cash , they started an inspirational card company and now their bringing in smiles instead.

62 WHO SAID THAT FIRST IMPRESSIONS WERE EVERYTHING? Guest contributor Terré Holmes writes about this month’s magazine theme.

GROWING GRAY What to do about getting gray hair? We say love it and show it off!

38 DEPRESSION – YOU CAN’T JUST GET OVER IT Certain scientific data shows that depression is a disease, just like diabetes.

28 UNWANTED TATTOOS It’s permanent, everyone knows that. But sometimes, you forget temporarily. What to do then?

80 BOOK REVIEW We’ve got three books we’re reviewing this month.

77 EVER HEARD OF VITAMIN F? An essential fatty-acid, page 62 but not very well known.

78 HARDWARE & HERBS It’s kitchen necessities, one alliteration at a time!

76 SHEA BUTTER Good for your skin, good for your hair, it’s even edible. Learn about Shea butter.

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What’s on LeslieBlakemag.com Watch out for our giveaway, coming soon! Contribute an Article Find out more. Want to comment on an article in our magazine? Go to our website. Don’t forget to Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter


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Editor Brie Anderson Collette Vandiver Assistant Editor Francy Walker Public Relations Director Karen Wells Fashion Editor Abby Cook Design Director Marc Page Photo Editor Kayla Rizotta Web Editor Mike Warrington Webmasters Aiko Nishka Sanford Browning Public Relations Debbie Cairns Design Frank Joplin Sara Fielding Fashion Assistants Callie Palmerston Frankie Landers Writers Brie Anderson Luke Mahoney Publicity Lynn Withers Photography Tyler Pledger

Some of the images in this magazine are not owned by Leslie Blake or any of its affiliates. Leslie Blake does not promote or render any opinion concerning advertisements. Cover: Photography by Frederick Johnson at www.fjohnsonphotograpy.com, Fashion by Nyesha. Be Heart Aware phonto courtesy of Getty Images. A prudent question is one-half of wisdom is a quote from Francis Bacon


Our Editorial Welcome to our third issue! This one I believe is the best, well at least we had the most fun doing it! We flew out to California for our cover shoot and met a lot of interesting people, even picking up another story or two. In this issue our theme is First Impressions and Inspiration. It started out with just eh First Impression theme but we were so inspired with people and stories we found along the way that we added Inspiration. In this issue, we do our first book reviews, say goodbye to Whitney Houston and warn women about the dangers of heart disease. It is filled with interesting articles and helpful tips. And again we have awesome contributors. Check out our Contributor’s page and be sure to read each of their articles. (You won’t want to miss any of the articles in this issue!) Then there is the inspirational side. We’ve got SoulKu, an inspirational card company that two stay at home moms started, we’ve got the manifestation of soulfullness coming from the kitchen of Chef Nyesha and the writings of Rickie Byars-Beckwith and to top that all off we “pure” soul in the designs of Lauren Liess. This one’s a page turner. Make sure you don’t miss any of it.

These are our pictures from Wilshire Restaurant where we ate Chef Nyesha’s cooking. See her story on p. 68. Oops. Will we always endeavor to get our stories correct, we do make mistakes. In last mont’s issue, in the article Q & A Desserts, we stated that Judy named her company after her two sons. It was named after her son and daughter. Our apologies.

Just Click on the Icon Below to Connect with

Leslie Blake

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Contributors

Blogger Megan Robinson is back! This time she’s writing about Fashion on a Budget. Limited income? You can still look fabulous if you follow her advice. p. 85

Ellen Goldman shared her beautiful, handmade jewelry from The StudioElle. You’ll want to buy one of each! p. 32

Makeup Artistry by Denise No picture, but she sure knows about making people beautiful! Yes, she’s back and we are all luckier for it. Find out how to switch up your makeup from day to night. p. 94

Terré Holmes – Speaker, Author, educator and author shares her insights on first impressions. p. 62

To go to one of Contributor’s websites, click on their image.


Check Out Leslie

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` Join a Book Club

* Learn to Be Green

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Play games, Stay Informed, & More – www.leslieblakemag.com




BE HEART AWARE THIS IS A WARNING! DO NOT TURN THE PAGE. DO NOT SKIP THIS MESSAGE. THIS IS A WARNING! Question. What disease is a leading cause of disability in, and the number one killer of, women? Many people don’t know that it’s heart disease. That’s because we so often think that it’s a disease that primarily affects men. Certainly, it’s true that it is a ma24

jor killer of men, but you should know, it doesn’t discriminate. Symptoms of heart disease can be different in women than in men. The key for us is to learn and understand those unique differences so that we can reduce our risk of heart disease.


T

he most common type of heart disease is coronary heart disease, also known as coronary artery disease. It is a narrowing of the coronary arteries blocking an adequate supply of oxygen and blood from getting to the heart. Other types of heart disease include cardiomyopathy, cardiac arrhythmias, congestive heart failure, and stroke. Here are some facts: • 267,000 women die each year from heart attacks, which kill six times as many women as breast cancer. • Another 31, 837 women die each year of congestive heart failure, representing 62.6% of all heart failure deaths. • 42% of women who have heart attacks die within 1 year, compared to 24% of men. • Under age 50, women’s heart attacks are twice as likely as men’s to be fatal. Additionally, two-thirds of women that have a heart attack fail to make a full

heart disease; 35,000 are under age of 65.

H

eart disease awareness in women needs to be improved. Awareness is the only way we can reduce the number of women who die every year from the disease. So, we need to talk about it often, shout about it to those far away, and whisper about it to those that are close by. We as women must empower ourselves, we must protect our health and share the knowledge that we glean to create a greater awareness about the dangers of heart disease for all women. Heart disease is a devastating killer but the numbers can be turned around if we learn to make better health and healthier lifestyle choices and if we encourage and educate other women to do the same. This message is not just for older women, even though the chances of having heart disease increase as we get older, but this message is for woman of all ages. Bad eating habits, sedentary lifestyles and ignorance of health issues start when we’re young. And no time is too soon to learn. I’ll say again - prevention is the key. To help raise awareness in women the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI), part of the National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) is sponsoring The Heart Truth®, a national awareness campaign. Their goal is to warn women about this number one health threat. So, in that vein, in 2002, the organization introduced the “Red Dress, ” as their national symbol.

Heart disease is the #1 killer of women. recovery. • 435,000 American women have heart attacks annually; 83,000 are under age 65; 35,000 are under 55. • There are currently 8 million women in the U.S. living with

“The most common way women present with heart disease is dead, dead on arrival,” so says Dr. Kathy Magliato, cardiothoracic surgeon at Saint John’s Health Center in Los Angeles. “Women tend to downplay their symptoms, and they tend to wait longer to come to the hospital, and that’s why they die at home.” A simple and elegant reminder of the need to protect and inspire a healthy heart. Utilizing the Red Dress, The Heart Truth® has formed a unique alliance with the fashion industry where designers, models, and celebrities get together every year to participate in the Red Dress Collection during the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. And, on a more personal level, The Heart Truth’s Single City program extends the reach of their message by bringing a sampling of the Red Dress Collection to communities across America in combination with campaign signage and materials.

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Y

Top 5 Symptoms of Heart Disease in Women 1. Fatigue 2. Shortness of Breath

ou too can help the word get out about this deadly killer of women. Take the time to become aware of the symptoms and the risks that are unique to women. Join The Heart Truth® celebrating in 2012 a decade of commitment to women’s heart health issues by reaching out to others. February is designated as America Heart Month but everyday is the time to help voice a wake up call to women everywhere. Check out their website and discover what you can do to help get the word out. www.hearttruth.org.

Meanwhile . . .

What you should know. The traditional risk factors for coronary artery disease such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure and obesity do affect women the same as in men, however, women have other factors that play a big part specifically in the development of heart disease in women. For example: Metabolic syndrome, a term denoting the combination of fat around your abdomen, high blood pressure, high blood sugar and high triglyceride, appears to have a greater impact on women than on men in developing heart disease. Mental stress and depression affect women’s hearts more than men’s. Depression makes it difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle and follow recommended treatments. Smoking is a greater risk factor for heart disease in women than in men. Menopause causes lower levels of estrogen, which poses a significant risk factor for developing cardiovascular disease in the smaller blood vessels where women’s typically develop heart disease. What is very important to know is that the chest pain associated with heart disease may not be present, or may be less severe in women than it is in men, that’s because heart disease usually affects women’s smaller blood vessels. Some women who suffer from heart disease, even those who have died from it, never experience chest pains. So, it’s important to learn the signs and listen to your body because you may not get that crushing chest pain that men typically get. It may just feel like indigestion. Even treatment for heart disease can be different for women. Drug therapy such as blood thinners, rather than surgical procedures like stent placements seem to work better on women. And aspirin seems to lessen the risk of stroke in women whereas it lessens the chance of heart attacks in men. What you should do. To help protect yourself from the dangers of heart disease adopt smart, hearthealthy eating habits and start a regular routine of exercise. This should include exercising 30-60 minutes a day for at least three days of the week, maintaining a healthy weight and maintaining a diet that’s low in saturated fat, cholesterol and salt, and don’t smoke.

3. Indigestion, Upper Abdominal Pain or Nausea 4. Jaw or Throat Pain

5. Arm Pain (Especially the left arm)

START TODAY TAKING GOOD CARE OF YOUR HEART! 26



Unwanted Tattoos T “Grandma, your tattoos are wrinkly. You suck!”

Kreayshawn, 22 Being prophetic in Marie Claire, Feb. 2012 Issue

attooed people are everywhere, and their tattoos cover everything, from how much you love that special someone, your children’s names, your dead - - friend, grandmother, mother - - to Asian lettering, which may or may not translate to what you think, nicknames, flowers, animals - just about anything you can name and placed everywhere (even places you shouldn’t name). In the last few decade tattoos are no longer just for sailors, prison inmates, and sideshow folks, they have become part of American mainstream culture. In fact, it is estimated that roughly more than 10 million Americans have at least one tattoo, and there are thousands of tattoo studios open for business in the United States, which is a very lucrative business I might add with tattoos an inch and under going for between $50 - 100. Just think of the cost for one that covers your back! True there are a lot of people who

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are quite happy with their tattoos, however, according to a recent survey, a growing number are ending up sorry they got inked. The art of tattooing is nothing new. Ancient Egyptians are well-known for tattooing, using it not only to mark their bodies, but as permanent makeup. These permanent markers have been done in cultures all around the world for thousands and thousands of years, the oldest found on a the frozen mummy of a 5,200-year-old man. Tattoos have served as symbols of status, love, Because of modern religious beliefs and even as puntechnology tattoos don’t ishment. And the have to be permanent, but ancient methods even the newest technology used to apply the tattoo, such as can’t do anything about the picks, rakes, chisels pain experienced in most or a soot-covered procedures. thread sewn through the skin,

OUCH!!


Top Ten Reasons to Remove a Tattoo

1. My mother told me to. 2. Tattoo artist misspelled my boyfriend’s name. 3. I need a job that does not allow tattoo. 4. I broke up with my girlfriend and I am dating someone new. 5. I am getting married and want to wear a low cut dress. 6. The tattoo artist did a lousy job. 7. I do not want any of my kids to see them. 8. I am joining the army and need them off. 9. My wife/husband hates tattoos. 10. I need clear skin to do another tattoo.

Lasar Removal

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30

Removal by Excision

Removal by Dermabrasion

This means that the tattoo will be cut out of the skin and the skin sewn back together. It’s considered minor surgery and may leave a scar.

Any method that use a spray to freeze the skin. Then the skin is “sanded” to peel away the tattoo. Bleeding will occur in this method.

although permanent (and painful) in every instance, has changed over the years. Modern tattooing, however, has remained mostly the same since the autographic printer was invented by Samuel O’Reilly in the late 1800s. His invention was modeled after Thomas Edison’s engraving machine. That’s right engraving machine, that’s pretty deep – literally. The machine moves a needle up and down puncturing the skin between 50 and 3,000 times per minute. The needle penetrates the skin by about a millimeter and deposits a drop of insoluble ink into the skin with each puncture. The actual tattoo, for those of us that didn’t know, is inked in the dermis, the second layer of skin, not the epidermis or outer layer. So, again, the tattoo is pretty deeply embedded, that’s why they last a lifetime (and beyond) because they aren’t bothered by the normal,

damaging exposure they would endure if they laid on the outer surface of the skin. No wonder it isn’t easy to have them removed. For years people had little recourse once they got their tattoo. Break-ups with the one you thought you’d love forever, political expression that is no longer cool (at least for you) and the need to fit in where a tattoo wouldn’t were all “too bad” and “I told you not to get that tattoo” situations. Today, though, modern technology has made available several options in getting rid of those unwanted tattoos. There are tons of ways that purportedly remove tattoos, but just check the Internet and you’ll find that a lot of them don’t work. In fact, it seems that the only methods that do work are the ones that are invasive. It’s the cutting, peeling, and lasering methods that get the job done, and of course


Removal by Salabrasion

Removal by Laser

A combination of tap water and salt are used to “scrub” the skin to abrade the area and literally erase the tattoo. Bleeding will occur.

Pulses of light are directed onto the skin breaking up the tattoo pigment. Then, the body’s scavenger cells remove the pigmented areas.

these are the most painful ones. The methods that work the best are excision, dermabrasion, salabrasion and lasering. And, these methods, for the most part, have to be done by a physician, making the removal as, if not more, costly than having them put on. For instance, laser removal, which many believe to be the best method, can cost up to a $1,000 a session with sometime 8 - 10 sessions needed. Even though these tattoo removals methods work, there is often some scarring or color variations in the skin that remain. How bad the scar left depends on several things, including the size and location, and the age of the tattoo. For example, a tattoo placed by a very experienced tattoo artist will probably be easier to remove as they would have been more precise ensuring that the dye was evenly injected and on the same level of the dermis

making just the one layer needing to be removed to get rid of the tattoo. And an older tattoo will be harder to remove than a newer one. So, the next time someone asks you if you’re sure you’ll stay with this guy for the rest of your life, think twice before you commit to having his name sprawled across your back because that tattoo may cost you a lot more (including heartbreak) than you ever bargained for. Written by Bree Anderson. 10 Reasons to Have a Tattoo Removed courtesy of LASERDOCS, Burlington, MA’s Cosmetic Laser Treatment, www.laserdocs.com. Images of tattoo removal courtesy of www.drnumb.com. No commercial purpose intended. 31


Etsy Entreprenuer Ellen Goldman is the owner and founder of The StudioElle,; She is so passionate about her beading that she says she lives her life “one bead at a time.” She believes if jewelry isn’t beautiful and comfortable, well then,, it won’t be worn. She makes jewelry that is never over the top but definitely gets you noticed. Ellen says “Anyone who wears my beaded creations better get used to being stopped by people asking them where they got their jewelry and receive plenty of compliments. Her choice of color combinations and simplicity of her designs coupled with her quality of workmanship makes her jewelry a standout from the rest. Here is how The StudioElle was born . . . My story isn’t the most glamorous by nay means. I’ve always been artistic and always had a love of jewelry. I was in school for silver smiting and metal work. But along the way, I took a corporate job and that was the direction my life took up until a couple of years ago. They say things happen in threes - well, they got that right! I was laid off from my job, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and my best friend, Rocky, my precious English Bulldog suddenly passed away. With all of this, my Mom begged me to stop smoking and I promised her I would. I needed to do something with my hands, hoping to get my mind off everything that was going on around me. That was when I discovered bead weaving. I knew I was onto something when family and friends and friends of friends wanted to wear my creations. That’s how it all began! I absolutely love what I do I love being creative, mixing colors and textures and beading techniques with no rules, no boundaries, and in the end, making a one of a kind beaded jewelry that truly expresses a feeling, a mood. But the best part of what I do is being able to see my client’s face light up when they meet the piece of jewelry they are meant to won. It’s such a thrill for me and my clients!

Ellen Goldman

Click Here to Visit StudioElle 32


The StudioElle

The Squarelet Cuff $245

Spiral Out of Control Gemstone $105

The Roundabout Beaded Bracelet $93

The Party Mix Beaded Bangle $245

The Chubby Wubby $47 33


The StudioElle

The Colorful Chaos Cuff $125

Woven Beaded Bangle $95

BeautifulnBeige Cuff $174

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The Cube-IT Beaded Bracelet $68

The Perfect Petal Cuff $69

Spiral Beaded Cellini Bangle $175

The Cameo Cuff $285

The Moroccan Bracelet $96

The Sedona Cabochon $158


What to love About

Growing Gray

It shows that you are unafraid about getting older. You’re happy with being you. And, remember there is no such thing a premature gray, you’re body is doing what it does, so, love, take care of it, and enjoy it. Below we share four secrets so you can love “growing” gray.

1. GRAY HAIR CAN BECOME DULL AND THE TEXTURE CAN CHANGE. Gray hair loses natural oils so be sure to use deep conditioners and as part of your hair care routine.

2. A FULL HEAD OF GRAY HAIR CAN TAKE A LONG TIME TO GROW IN. Trim your hair often help to get rid of the old color and instead of covering the gray, add a little gray by dyeing the old hair color.

3. SOMETIMES GRAY HAIR CAN HAVE A YELLOWISH TINGE. Until you re fully gray the tinge can be counteracted with hair color. Ask your stylist about a violetbased haze.

4. ADAPT A NEW LOOK. The same color makeup, makeup style and color clothing may not work with gray hair. Think about wearing blush and less dark colors around your eyes.

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Depression

You Just Can’t “Get Over It”

Everyone feels bad or unhappy at some point in their life, and it may last for a couple of hours or as long as a couple of days, but generally, it’s only for a short period of time. Clinical depression, however, isn’t just when you feel bad or down in the dumps, it is feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration that interferes with everyday life and lasts for weeks or longer. It’s a feeling that you can’t explain to others because most of the time you don’t understand why you’re feeling like you do. And because others have felt bad at some point in their lives but quickly recovered it’s hard for them to understand true depression. They really think (and often say) you should “just get over it.” But it’s not that easy. Recall hearing of a “nervous breakdown?” Of course, there is no such thing (your nerves can’t “break down”), yet that’s how it feels, you’re numb to everyone and everything. All you know is that you feel there is no hope, everything upsets you and makes you sad. You either can’t sleep or sleeping is all you do. You feel there is no reason to do anything, to bathe, to comb your hair or brush your teeth, to go out, to get dressed or even to smile and you don’t care about anything that’s going on around you. Depression is a mood disorder and it changes how you feel about everything. You hurt all over and you don’t know what’s wrong. So, how do you get over something when you can’t figure out what it is?

Studies have shown that seropeople that suffer from depression tonin may be responsible for depres- can’t get enough serotonin to change sion. Serotonin is a neurotranstheir mood. mitter and with approximately 40 Scientists are tying to undermillion cells in the brain more than stand depression, and what can be we know are influenced in some done to alleviate persons sufferway by it, including those brain cells ing from it. It used to be treated in related to mood, sexual desire, aphorrible ways, shock treatments, petite and sleep. lobotomies and drugs that made you Depression is believed to be lethargic making some worse off caused by chemical changes in the than they were before. brain. These changes may be caused Today, depression medication is by deficiencies due to genetics or not as harsh and allows someone may be triggered by stressful events, suffering from depression to betor both and are probably caused ter cope. Most of these serotonin by an imbalance in replacement drugs may take serotonin levels. Depression a month or more to build up High levels of enough in a person’s system to serotonin make you is believed affect their mood and they don’t to be caused work for everyone. feel happy, while low levels can lead There isn’t very much someby chemical to low self-esteem, one can to do help a person out changes in of a depression. Understand anxiety and excesthe brain. sive worry, chronic that if depression is caused by pain, panic, fear, low levels of serotonin its levels phobias, obsessions won’t increase in a person just and pessimism. Low levels brought because you fuss at them, ignore or on by low cell production of seroplead with them to stop feeling that tonin influence a person’s mood in a way. way that leads to depression. Things that do help boost seroIn light of this, depression is de- tonin levels include sunlight, mascidedly a disease, much like diabetes sages, remembering happy thoughts or hyperthyroidism. It is the body’s and exercise. So, if you want to help inability to function properly. In take them out for a walk, talk about this case, the body doesn’t compen- the good old times and help them to sate for when there are low levels of get professional help, because when serotonin by instinctively producing they’re depressed they won’t do it more (like it does in those people themselves because it’s even hard for that get sad but can “get over it” them to want to feel better. quickly). Just as the pancreas doesn’t produce insulin in diabetics, some 38


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All About The Brow Your eyebrows frame your face and accentuate your features. When they’re well-groomed they can make an unbelievable difference in the way you look. Preference in thickness, arch and width will vary from woman to woman, as does every eyebrow, but the eyebrow should follow the basic guidelines shown to the right – the brow should start at the most outer part of your nose, arch at a 45 degree angle from the center of your nose and end at a 45 degree angle from the outermost part of your nose. Additionally, your brow shape should be based on the shape of your face. And, while there are no rules for shaping your brow set in stone, following guidelines and tips will help you to frame your face to look your best.

There are many products to help you get the look you want for your eyebrows. But it all starts with shaping them. Tweezing (not plucking - that’s what you do to chickens), and waxing are perfect ways to get the shape you want. To enhance your brow when it’s thin, unruly or light you can use powder, pencils and gel. When changing the shape of your brow stencils can be good guides.

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It isn t always the big things that change us and make us better people, it can be the little things that enlighten us as we walk through our daily lives. We can find in many places these small paths to a more peaceful and caring existence for ourselves - - a smile and a nod, a warm hello or a kind word from another. Those things make us feel good and then we pass it on to others - - unknowingly, instinctively. It is a way that we heal our weary souls and begin to transform ourselves to be part of a better humanity. Not exactly understanding what I mean? Don't know what this feeling is? Well, this may help, you might call it Happiness. 41


SoulKu Allison Blake and Elisa Van Arnam have found a way to package a little happiness and a sprinkle of kindness and spread it all over the world. Imagine finding a little note in your coat pocket or attached to the windshield of your car wishing you good feelings and well wishes. These invading words evoke pleasant thoughts vibrating in your mind following you throughout your day. Yes, a sense of happiness that you want to share, connecting you with others. Possibly making you feel more alive, but definitely making you smile. This is SoulKu. Allison and Elisa met at a book club meeting and instantly their entire family became friends, it was “one big love feast,” says Elisa. Like many of us it wasn’t long before both families were affected by hard economic times, Elisa’s husband was laid off and Allison’s husband was put on notice. Brought closer together by these similar circumstances, they found that their friendship was maybe meant to be. Both needed to help out their families financially, but together they knew that 42

they could do more than just bring in additional income, they could do something that would make a difference in their lives and in the lives of others. So, in October of 2011 they started their inspirational card company, and today, just five months later, their cards have been tagged as far away as Cambodia and have found their way into 14 different countries. The 19th century philosopher Henri Amiel said that “Life is short and we never have enough time for gladdening the hearts of those who travel the way with us. Oh . . . make haste to be kind.” Allison and Elisa have found a way to do just that - - to “be kind” and “gladden the hearts” of others. Their concept is simple, yet profound and Elisa says that “people are excited and moved” by it. Here’s how it works. You purchase four cards that you will leave or give to stranger or friend. There, on the card, SoulKu’s inspirational pull

begins. Each numbered card has a life motivating SoulKu message printed on it along with instructions on how to register your card and leave your own message for the people you give your cards to. Also, included in your SoulKu kit is a magnet where you record your card numbers and track the cards’ progress. To register your card and leave your inspirational message you visit the SoulKu website and follow the link. And, for those that receive the card, they can find their message by visiting the website and clicking on “Found a Card.” accessing SoulKu’s Community Blog. While there you can read the inspirational messages left by others as well. And, even if you haven’t purchased or received a card but are needing a little inspiration SoulKu welcomes you to share in the experience as the blog is free and accessible to all. There on the website you’ll also find a revolving


M

ake the world better, one happy thought at a time.

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globe with dots of white shimmering lights each pointing to a place where a SoulKu card has turned up. Those lights represent a connection between people - a little light shown their way to help them on their journey. It’s amazing and inspiring. And, in case spreading inspiration and kindness, and making our world a little smaller through the connections the cards bring isn’t enough, SoulKu is more. A small company, SoulKu shares in the big responsibility of helping the planet

and its inhabitants survive. It uses 100% eco-friendly paper and fair trade packaging (created in small batches from biodegradable banana trees) and 10% of all SoulKu profits go to charity. The two live in Asheville, NC, a 2011 Traveler’s Choice award winning city and voted one of “The 50 Most Alive Places To Be.” They say the city has “beautiful mountain views, hiking paths, water - - way less concrete and is an inspiring place to be.” Living in such a great place could be enough inspira-

tion to start SoulKu, but, they said, there was more - - meditation, the Law of Attraction - a spiritual concept, and life visioning all played a part in the creation of SoulKu, and, they added, the fact of not having the budget to do something really big. They were wrong about that part though, because SoulKu is something “really big.” Written by Collette Vandiver Photography by Lisha Johnson

Give. Inspire. Receive. Connect. "Imagine someone standing in the middle of nowhere handing a stranger a piece of paper and they shared a smile." That was Allison's vision in creating SoulKu and we want to make it ours. Our SoulKu Journey:

We ve taken their motto to heart and Leslie Blake will share eight SoulKu cards with people that we meet as we travel to our stories. Watch for updates in each upcoming issue as our cards are shared throughout communities and, we hope, the world. Although we are only sending out eight cards, you, our readers, can share in our inspirational messages, too. Remember that SoulKu s blog is free and open to all. So stop by their website, read what we, and what others have shared. Perhaps you might just get inspired!

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Leslie Blake Magazine

www.soulku.com


Citizens Gold Watch EQ0562-54A $89.98 London Fog Microfiber Trench Coat $99.95 sierratradingpost.com

Wear a watch to your interview, you don’t want to keep looking at your cell phone to check the time. Simple accessories are the best

Never wear a dress longer than your dress or skirt. A trench coat is a good item to have. You can wear it with the liner in colder weather and Calvin Klein Double without in warmer Breasted Navy Suit weather. $89.99

BCB Generation Glass Button Earrings $28 macys.com

Working Woman

Dressing for That

Job Interview

Overstock.com

Fossil Brown Satchel $208 fossil.com

Ivory Crepe De Chine Blouse $39.99 YenMax.com Calvin Klien Dark Brown Pump $69 shoes.com

Navy is never out and should be a staple in in every style-savvy woman’s wardrobe and along with black should be what is worn to an interview. When wearing navy always pair it up with brown. Dior Addict $80 sephora.com

Choose a light fragrance, a pretty pink or berry-colored polish and neutral lipstick for your interview.

Tahari Arthur S. Levine Black Suit $280 lordandtaylor.com

Carry a portfolio for your resume!

Revelon Bubble Gum $5

SKAnne Klein Itty Flats $69 6pm.com Brahmin Melbourne Collection “Tyler” Satchel $335 dillards.com

Watch out for heels that are high when interviewing. You don’t want to have to worry about your feet hurting and you certainly don’t want to tower over everyone you’ll speak with when you interview. Flats are also another good choice.

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Take Hold of Your Passion

In the book Undecided, (See Book Review p. 82) the authors discuss how women, being unable to realize what they want to do with their lives, are often frustrated and unhappy. Passion Test Facilitator, Phyllis Flemings seems to know the answer that these women need. You have to “follow your passion,” she says. Phyllis says that “when you’re living your passion you’re excited, you feel fulfilled and you’re on fire” because you’re doing things you love to do. People should look at their passions as clues to their destiny. And helping you realize what your purpose is exactly what she does. She finds that you wouldn’t have a passion for something if it wasn’t what you were supposed to do, “otherwise” she says “why would you have them?” And, where do these passions come from? Phyllis says that they are innate, you were born with them. “It’s a unique gift to you.” And that’s why you have to learn to take hold of them and go where your passion leads you, because it is uniquely yours, and if you

don’t do what you’re supposed to do with it, who will? To find one’s passion a facilitator asks three questions: “When your life is ideal, what will you be, what will you have, what will you do?” Simple enough, and probably something that can be done with out a “facilitator.” “True,” says Phyllis, but you may find initially that you’ll need some help. For instance, when answering the three “what will” questions you may say I want to be rich, that says Phyllis can mean a lot of things and all of them may not be where your passion lies “does that mean you want to be able to buy a certain house, travel to a certain place, drive a certain car?” A facilitator is there to help you pinpoint exactly what you mean

when you say “I want.” In fact the facilitator will ask you to name ten things that you want, and then will help you to narrow those ten down to five. These five passions should be re-evaluated every 60-90 days because, she says, you’ll find that your passions change as you start living them. Like in the book Undecided you deal with opportunity costs, but here, you are less frightened on what you might be missing because of the path you choose. Phyllis says that when presented with an opportunity to do one thing or another, the road to take is simple, just ask yourself, “which will help me get to my passion?” For example, if you’re passionate about working with seniors and you have to choose between

When you’re living you’re excited, you f and you’re on fire.” 46


taking a trip to a tropical island that is cheap, fun and with great friends or taking a certification that is only offered once a year on “Elderly Care,” your choice should be the seminar. The cheap, fun vacation is only a temporary moment of happiness. Your passion will make you happy in your life. But what about if the choices are not that clear? Phyllis says that “when you are clear, what you

your passion feel fulfilled ”

When my life is ideal, What will I be, What will I have, What will I do?

choose to show up in your life will show up, but only if you’re clear. What you think about comes about. And if you keep thinking about it over and over it’ll start to show up in your life.” A Passion Test Facilitator helps people to get clear, on who they are, what they want to do, and what they’re passionate about. Sounds like hocus pocus, mumble jumble? Maybe not, what it really boils down to is finding what you love to do and staying focused on doing that. Too often people get distracted from their

goals because as the Kelley’s write, “the grass looks greener on the other side.” Phyllis says that if you teach yourself to follow your passions you know what you are supposed to do, you do it and then you let it go. You don’t worry about the outcome because you can’t control that anyway, and if you chose your passion it will turn out right anyway. Another reason that Phyllis says a Passion Test Facilitator may be necessary when you first get started is because it will force you 47


to do what you are supposed to do to make the right decisions. In staying on track, making the decisions that follow your passion may be difficult. “When your accountable for yourself,” Phyllis explains “so many times when its just you deciding what you’re want to do you can justify doing anything. You make excuses for making a choice that is not based on your passion.” But if you’re accountable to someone else, say a coach helping you find your passion, you don’t come up with “that excuse over an over again even the though the person isn’t going to get in your case about it, something inside of you says I can’t do that anymore. I have to get it done, you don’t want to face that person with the same thing. Sometimes, you say you’re going to do something and maybe you’ll wait until the day before you’re speaking to your coach you say ‘darn, I have to get that done.’ Tomorrow when I have my appointment I don’t want to say that I didn’t do it. “Eventually you won’t need a passion coach because you automatically start doing those things. At some point,

as you are moving up and you get to the goal that you set for yourself of how you want your life to be.” And, eventually as one learns how to choose in favor of your passion you’ll be able to say to yourself “Oh, that’s not what I want to do and I am going to choose in favor of my passion. These are my things that I chose as my passion, so when there is a decision I have to make or an opportunity I’ll choose in that direction.” In 2005 a study found that only 20 percent of working Americans are excited about what they do. That means 80 percent, men and women alike, are unhappy and are just doing what they’re supposed to do. Although so many people are unhappy, the vast majority of people that take the test are women. Phyllis believes that men feel like it’s a woman’s thing, like they can do it on their own, they don’t need help. (Maybe that’s the reason so many men have mid-life crises).

When you know your intentions, and you pay them attention, then you don’t have any tension.

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Men think that it makes them less than a man. To get them to come and open up, she admits, is hard, but once they get there they really get involved. Not the same problem with woman. Women are used to admitting they are undecided, we’re strong in who we are and we figure out early on we need this for us and we’re not ashamed to ask for help. You can take the Passion Test online (see button below) or you can speak to a Certified Passion Test Facilitator in person or over the phone. Some, like Phyllis are also certified Life Coaches and can continue working with you after the initial passion testing is completed. Facilitators have helped the homeless, prisoner, business people, and children and teens. Phyllis says it’s great to get them started early because they realize they have passions and they don’t just have to choose doing anything. They can start off knowing what they want in their lives. Maybe it’s time that you took hold of your passions

Be prepared to answer what your ideal life would be when it comes to career, finance, health, relationship, environment, spiritual, fun, and service


www.laylagrace.com


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Lauren Liess, at twenty something, has her own interior design and textiles companies. And according to all that see her work, she is definitely someone to watch. She certainly caught our eye!

LAUREN LIESS 51


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Coming this April, Lauren Liess turns thirty. She’s a wife, a mother of one and expecting another child soon. Typical maybe for someone her age, but during the last few years Lauren has made a name for herself that many in their twenties are unable to do. She owns Lauren Liess Interiors and Pure Styles, LLC where she designs textiles, furniture and will soon start an upholstery division. Her work has been featured in several magazines, including, Better Homes and Gardens, Home & Design Magazine, and Washingtonian Magazine. She has been named as a designer to watch. More than once. And, after speaking with her we found out that she is also very cool and very down to earth, just like her designs. After getting a degree in creative writing, and working in her family business in the PR department, Lauren never had a “defining moment” where she knew design was her calling, but it kept whispering to her and finally she couldn’t help but to listen and found herself pulled more and more by her creative side to do something different. So she did a stint as a stager and things just fell in place, sort to speak. Her style - - a mix of modern and traditional, with a vintage vibe, how cool is that? Take a look at Lauren’s designs on the next few pages, we’re sure you’ll love her vibe as well.

Lauren Liess modern. traditional. a vintage vibe. 53


LAUREN’S HOUSE Lauren shared pictures with us of her home. Her inspiration for the design, she said, came from the house itself and her personal style. The house, a split-level with the living space mostly on the second level has lots of windows and all you can see are the woods and trees of the surrounding landscape. Lauren brought the colors and beauty of the outdoors inside. 54


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EARTHY A former design consultant, Lauren listens to her clients very carefully and really undersands exactly what they want, because when she’s done getting the feel of the space - - knowing her client’s wants and likes, and how they want to feel in the space, she does all the shopping herself. Once the furniture comes in, typically two to three months later, she asks her clients to leave the house for the day while she puts everything together. And by day’s end they’ll come home to a great new room. She does it all from start to finish. 56


MODERN

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“Interesting juxtaposition . .

pulling in 58


EARTHY MODERN

. .�

n natural elements 59


Lauren has no formal training in design but does seem to have an eye that is trained to spot beauty and style. Although, she confesses that she’s not an artist, her patterns for her textiles and her furntiure are her own designs. She visualizes it she says, and we think that the reality of those visualizations is “pure style”. She her textiles on p. 112. Check out Lauren Liess Interiors and Pure Style at www.thepurestyle.com

Vintage Garden

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“although first impressions are ev-

erything, they never tell the whole story as it is and to truly know the story we must be willing to pick up the book and flip the pages.” Written by Terré Holmes 62


Who Says that First Impressions Are Everything? When we hear the term “first impressions” most of us have an idea of what it means based on a set of phrases that we’ve all heard before. For instance, it’s said that first impressions are lasting impressions and that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. It’s also said that first impressions are everything and that one should always strive to make a good first impression. While all of this may very well be true, I want to offer a different perspective on the subject. I believe that first impressions can sometimes cause us to make hasty judgments which leave no room for authentic connections in a sometimes inauthentic world. Our inauthenticity is not always intentional. In fact I would argue that it is often by default that we jump into judgment mode in the first place. We are a society conditioned to look at what we see on the outside and think that we know what lies beneath the surface. Unfortunately, people are not books so we shouldn’t judge them by their covers. I should know, it has been my story for most of my life, but it’s

had the opposite effect. In other words, people have always believed that my life and my life’s circumstances were the complete opposite of what they really were in a positive way and that alone makes me wonder, how many people don’t really get a chance to be heard because from the cover, they don’t fit someone else’s bill? Based on first impressions alone, one could draw very favorable conclusions about me. I’m articulate and passionate. I’m well educated and well traveled. One might consider me fashionably conscience and socially and politically astute. I live in an affluent neighborhood and listen to everything from Biggie to Bach. I love eclectic foods and hang around a mutually eclectic group of people. I have been called, “different” and the list goes on. I don’t tell you any of this to impress you, but to impress upon you that based on first impressions alone, one couldn’t begin to imagine the life I’ve experienced. Many of the attributes I’ve described were nurtured in me, because my life was

anything but affluent and the main feast on our dinner table usually didn’t involve sushi or risotto, but instead, something fried and something buttered. The truth is, before I was born my father became addicted to heroine and by the time I was eleven years old, my mother was addicted to crack cocaine. Neither of my parents received their high school diplomas and of the 50+ cousins in my family and 11 aunts and uncles on both sides, although I wasn’t the oldest, I was the first to attend college and graduate. Though first impressions usually have my students guessing that I grew up in the burbs, with two parents and that I was the benefactor of weekend carpools to the movies and mall, that couldn’t be further from the truth. The problem is, we are trained to use our filters to judge situations and people and while this may work very well in the business world and in our personal lives to some extent, how often do we dismiss people based on our “first impressions” of them and what we “think” we know? If we wore a sign on our

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foreheads that highlighted our humble beginnings, our childish mistakes, and our shortcomings, we probably wouldn’t get very far in life. Unfortunately, people might write us off on first sight before taking the time to truly notice us or even get to know us. People’s first impressions of me are usually very wrong and I’m not offended one way or the other. I just feel fortunate that based on their misconceptions they do take

the time to get to know me for me and they don’t always stop short of their idea of who they believe I am. I wouldn’t want them to write me off before they took the chance to genuinely get to know me. We are a complex people, with sensational stories and experiences that are sometimes more similar than they are different. Just for today, I wish that people would place their judgments on hold long enough to get to know

the people around them for who they really are and not based on their preconceived perceptions of them. The stories of our lives are so intricate that there could be no way to know someone merely on first impressions, because although first impressions are everything, they never tell the whole story as it is and to truly know the story we must be willing to pick up the book and flip the pages.

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Politics 101 To be well-rounded, being able to discuss a little politics is crucial. Politics 101 will be a permanent part of Leslie Blake, discussing American governments in general and keeping you informed on current issues.

The Branches of Government Do you know the three branches of our federal government and what they do? Our form of government was set up so that one person or entity would not have all the power and that each branch could keep the other one in check. It has worked well for more than 200 years. What are the three branches of our federal government and how were they formed? The divisions of government are delineated in the U. S. Constitution. The three branches of our government are legislative (Article 1), the executive (Article 2), and the judicial (Article 3). Each branch has different and distinct and important roles. What makes up each branch and what do they do? The Head of the Executive Branch is the President of the United States (Article 2), and includes the Vice President and the Cabinet. The executive branch ensures laws are carried out, taxes are collected and the homeland is kept secure. The Legislative

Branch is the U.S. Congress, which is made up of the Senate and the House Representatives. Its duties include passing laws, allocating funds to run the federal government and to assist the states. And the Judicial Branch is comprised of the United States Supreme Court and its lower federal courts. The Supreme Court was set up to hear cases that challenge or require interpretation of law. Of the three the Supreme Court is the only body that has a lifetime appointment. Why do we have three branches of government? To ensure that the totalitarian form of government imposed on the colonies by the King of England did not return. This is called a separation of powers. How does the Constitution ensure that a totalitarian government won’t happen again? To ensure that no person or entity can take total power the Constitution includes “checks and balances” for each of the

branches of government. Here’s how it works: The President’s power is checked by the Congress. The Congress can impeach the president, and although the President can appoint judges to the Supreme Court, the Congress must approve the nominees. The President checks Congress’ power. For example, Congress has the power to create laws but the President can veto any legislation (which can be overridden by Congress). And, although the Congress has the power to amend the Constitution, the Supreme Court can declare a law unconstitutional. It also has the power to create laws by its decisions on court cases. In turn, the Congress can amend those laws.

By Luke Mahoney

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let’s cook Appetizers! Beer-Basted Pulled Pork Sliders Ingredients:   

Dry Rub:

Baste:

1 tablespoon dark brown sugar  2 tablespoons granulated sugar  1 tablespoon paprika  4 teaspoons kosher salt  3½ teaspoons garlic salt  ¾ teaspoon chili powder  ¼ teaspoon oregano  ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper  ¼ teaspoon ground cumin Instructions  ¼ teaspoon black pepper 66

     

1 bottle (12-ounce) dark beer 1¼ cup cider vinegar 1¼ cup distilled white vinegar 1 cup (2 sticks) butter ½ cup Worcestershire sauce ¼ cup soy sauce 1½ tablespoon fresh lemon juice

      

1 pork butt (7–8 pounds) 24 slider buns 1 bottle Barbecue Sauce

3 tablespoons chili powder 2 tablespoons salt 1 tablespoon sugar 2 teaspoons black pepper 2 teaspoons dry mustard 2 teaspoons paprika 1 teaspoon ground cumin

http://www.grilling.com


Instructions (for Beer-Basted Pulled Pork Sliders) While the pork is cooking, combine all of the baste ingredients in a medium saucepan and mix well. Place over medium-low heat and simmer until the butter melts. Keep baste on low heat until ready to use. Build a charcoal fire for indirect cooking by situating the coals on only one side of the grill, leaving the other side void. Add a small aluminum pan to the void side of the grill and fill it halfway with water. In a small bowl, combine the dry rub ingredients. Coat the pork evenly with dry rub, patting gently until the mixture adheres to the meat. When the grill reaches 250˚F, place pork butt on the void side of the grill over the water pan, close the lid, and cook over indirect heat for four hours.

Ingredients: 41/2 all purpose flour 2 teaspoons sugar ½ teaspoon kosher salt 1 chilled large egg white 4 tablespoons unsalted butter 1 tablespoon black sesame seeds 4 ounces sliced smoked salmon, finely chopped 1 ½ teaspoons very finely chopped shallot 1 ½ reaspoons very finely chopped chives ¼ teaspoon finely grated lemon zest ½ cup crème fraiche Freshly ground with pepper to taste

Directions Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. In a medium bowl, whisk the flour with the sugar and salt. Add the egg white and whisk until smooth. Whisk in the butter until smooth and creamy. Spoon teaspoons of the batter 3 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets and spread to 2-inch rounds. Sprinkle with the sesame seeds and bake in the upper and middle third of the oven for about 15 minutes, shifting the pans from top to bottom and front to back, until the tuiles are golden and fragrant. Let cool. In a medium bowl, combine the salmon with the shallot, chopped chives, lemon zest, and a pinch of white pepper. Spoon the salmon onto the tuiles and top with a dollop of crème fraiche and a couple of snipped chives. Serve right away.

http://www.recipe.com

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Nyesha Arrington You may know her better as Chef Nyesha, and while cooking is her passion, she is so much more. By Collette Vandiver Photographs by Fredrick Johnson 69


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N

yesha Arrington knew

what her passion was early on. Right from high school, and after one term at a community college, she went to culinary school and has been cooking ever since. Nyesha is such a mix of styles and ideals that don’t seem to go together but are a perfect fit for her. She is an artist, a surfer, a wise big sister, a caring daughter and a woman with an easy style looking to share her life with that special someone. She’s got more than a couple tattoos, on her right wrist is one that shows her favorite time of the day - 12:34, a pair of wings spreading across her abdomen to her hips symbolizes her liberation after moving to Vegas. She has a quiet way about her making her shyness obvious, but such command and confidence in her work that it’s hard to believe it’s the same person. And one of the things we loved most about her (and so did the camera) was her beautiful smile. It’s a natural smile that takes you beyond that shyness and opens her up to let you see the soulfulness inside. She has that California style - - laid back and easy going and although creativeness is her forte, she holds fast to the belief of being detail-oriented. “That’s my motto - attention to detail. I tell my guys that all the time.” She’s mature and focused. She’s got a “girly” side, she likes to wear dresses, but indulges in martial arts, bike

riding, surfing and snowboarding. Even she says that she hasn’t quite figured out her style. But one thing she’s sure of, shes not a one style kind of person and feels that the different styles of the clothes she wears reflects how she’s feeling at a certain time. In that chef jacket, however, she has won the hearts of thousands of fans all around the country. Yet, the reason we asked her to be in our magazine is that she still is an everyday kind of woman (oh yeah, and because she won our hearts, too). In this issue our theme is first impressions and inspiration. So, we asked her to be on our

cover because of what we saw in her when she earned her job as Executive Chef of Wilshire in Santa Monica. On Food Network’s Chef Hunters she appeared out of sorts - - nervous and shy when serving her food for the general manager and chef headhunter to try. But, in the scenes of her cooking, and running the kitchen she was composed, with restaurant staff commenting that she had the kitchen “humming.” She was working her quiet kind of magic on the food, the kitchen staff and the customers. She believes in running the kitchen calmly without too much chaos. “You

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“When two of the chefs are handed the keys to the restaurant for an entire dinner service, one chef clashes with the staff causing a walkout, while the other struggles to overcome extreme shyness.” Promotion from Food Network’s Chef Hunters Photos Source Food Network

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can’t think when it’s a lot of talking.” And indeed, by show’s end Chef Nyesha had earned her position by out doing another chef who had traveled the world and was full of confidence and aggressiveness in the kitchen. Who knew from the first impression of Nyesha, with her quiet demeanor, she could have such control and such culinary skill? After we learned what she could do, it impressed us and inspired us. We knew we had to have her in our magazine. When we asked this up and coming star to be our cover story, she said she would be “honored.” But we were the ones honored. We made arrangements and flew out to California from Ohio. All of our correspondence with her showed her shy side - - aloof, short responses to our e-mails, one word answers to our calls. Still, we couldn’t wait to meet her, we were so excited. Our wonderful photographer mapped

out a good place to do the photo shoot and we called her up to tell her where to meet us. She said she’d be there in a few minutes and she would be riding over on her bike. “Her bike?” I panicked “Oh no,” I shuttered, “she’s riding a bike over here? What about her hair?” There goes my glam cover shot, I thought. But once she got there that fear was quickly eradicated because she looked great. Just take a look at the pictures, you’ll see what I mean. Originally from Southern California, Nyesha grew up with her parents and younger sister and, for a while her maternal grandmother. Extremely close with her mother, and although she was only five when her grandmother died she also had a big influence on her. She attributes her cooking style and her maturity to both her mom and grandmother. Nyesha, after moving back to Southern California about seven months ago

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leads what she calls a “solitary, single life,” mostly because she is always working but admits that she very much misses family. She likes the idea of family, and hopes to have one in the not too distant future - the kids, the husband, the dog. She says that she would love to “Find a great man I could be in a partnership - build a family.” Her kind of guy? “Outdoorsy, a surfer,” one with whom she can have a stable relationship. She’s said she’s ready for that. When I asked her if she would stop cooking once she started a family, she answered quickly that she “would not stop being a chef because what I am passionate about is cooking for people. What I would love to do,” she explains “is take the restaurant part out of the equation and just do dinners in the home. Intimate with wine.” And she’s thought about maybe, one day, how it would be nice to retire to a sandy beach, where surfing is great, and her and her guy could open a taco stand, or something like that. “A simpler life.” Right now though, she’s happy with her restaurant job and says “I have my dog and he’s like my superhero.” And, it appears she has another hero, her dad. Although close with her mom, we got the idea that she’s a daddy’s girl. Nyesha admits to not getting to go home as often as she would like, especially with her mom not feeling as well as she use to, but adds that she does talk to her dad at least twice a week. “He’s amazing,” she says speaking in general about him and of how he takes care of her mom. “You know, he’s like so proud [of her]. I tell you that’s the most driving force. I want to be so successful one day that I can take care of my parents. That’s my main goal.” Her parents initially were not completely sold on culinary school aspirations but are now good with her decision. “It’s so cool, you know to hear my dad tell me he’s proud of me, it makes everything - - all the burns, all the cuts, all the stress [worthwhile]. When I see a smile on his face.” When I asked her what her 74

father did for a living, she replied “I’ll tell you what he does for work but I will tell you what he’s passionate about and what he needs to be doing with his life.” Her father, who works for the aerospace industry, “he is a waste to the world there,” is also “a screenwriter and a phenomenal bassist.” You can just see the love she has for her dad as she explains that in the 70s he used to be in a band, adding proudly, “He so funky, I love him, he’s so cool.” It appears that Nyesha’s creativeness is a family trait, as she adds that her sister plays the drums. And come to find out, Nyesha also plays the bass “not like my dad,” she confesses, but figures one day she’ll get back to playing the bass (she has one her dad gave her). “I play bass a little bit and [my dad] loves that, if I pick up the bass and we play together. But I’m not very good and I get frustrated if I don’t get things immediately.” I figure that Nyesha’s got this whole creativity, right side of the brain thing working really well. And apparently she agrees. “I’m a hands on, creative type, right side of the brain thinker and I need creative expression in any form.” Then she says “Oh, and I paint.” Nyesha attended the Art Institute of Los Angeles and worked in several restaurants in several different places before she landed her job at the Wilshire through the Food Network show. During the show it appeared that Wilshire was initially worried about Nyesha’s shyness, but in the end were quite happy with Nyesha and her style. And although she landed the job as Executive Chef, it doesn’t seem that it helped much with her shyness. She’s working on her shyness, she says. She’s a Libra and looking for that balance. When I asked Nyesha about her shyness she explained that when she was younger she feels that she was more outgoing but after a long relationship with her high school sweetheart ended, she said she changed. I asked her was it the end of the relationship that made her


change; did it happen right after? “It’s not like directly after, but I realize that now more so than the past I’d say six years - I very much, I like the partnership, I like the team, you know, not only in my work life, but my personal life, I think it’s important. Not sad about the breakup, Nyesha says that they left on good terms. And with her whirlwind year, she feels that she has grown a lot and can tell this year, she’ll be 30 in October, will bring a big difference. Nonetheless, that shyness isn’t holding her back. Three cooking shows? “That’s difficult - cooking was the fun part.” She admittedly wasn’t very happy with the competitive nature of the shows, which included Top Chef: Texas and Last Chance Kitchen. One reason, she explains is her shyness and the other, she just likes to cook. No fuss, no tension. But, she says “In the kitchen, I’m kind of crazy.” And in the end she really enjoyed being on the shows. She says she had a lot of fun and would do it again. And not only is there a change happening in Nyesha there’s one at the Wilshire, too. Some of Wilshire’s offerings have changed since Chef Nyesha arrived. They are featuring dishes that she develops around local, organic, and seasonal ingredients. In fact, Nyesha loves to cook with fresh ingredients, visiting the market twice a week. On Wednesdays she’s off to Farmer’s Market to shop for the restaurant and then on Sunday’s for herself at the market on Main Street. She admits that she has to be careful of buying fresh produce for herself because she doesn’t get to cook at home very often due to her busy schedule. So, I asked her what do you eat? Fast foods? Her reply “I’m not opposed to it.”

What ever Nyesha eats, MickieD’s will be a long time coming for me. After eating some of Chef Nyesha’s food, I am definitely spoiled and a Big Mac just won’t do it for me anymore. Dining at the Wilshire, however, was a bittersweet event Now, don’t get me wrong, I wanted to hum out loud as I slowly placed every savory bite into my mouth. Through my entire meal I closed my eyes, shook one leg and took deep breaths as I chewed in ecstasy - happily and sinfully devouring each and everything I was served. Mmmm, just thinking about the raspberry drink, truffle filled ravioli, and steak cooked just the way I like it, makes my mouth water. It was so delicious! The food was excellent, the service was excellent - so many kind people working there, all with great smiles and very attentive. Even the “Executive Chef ” came out to speak with me! The problem came after leaving. I wasn’t happy with any of the other restaurants I visited while in LA. Their service wasn’t as great, the menu didn’t have anything I wanted, I kept finding something wrong even down to the Caesar Salad, it just wasn’t the same as the one I had at the Wilshire. These other restaurants just didn’t measure up. I was truly pleased with my meal at the Wilshire (thank you Chef Nyesha) and while I may later find it wasn’t the best meal I ever ate (although it is for now), it certainly was a memorable one. In our little time with Nyesha, we found out a very big secret. Remember that soulfulness that I talked about earlier, that harmony, that rhythm that she has? Well, we think that when she cooks, she channels those vibrations, whether consciously or unconsciously, right through her into the fool. And that’s the reason the food she cooks tastes so good. 75

dad “ My is my hero


Shea Butter

Shea butter, native only to Africa, is a soft, nutty smelling fat extract from the nut of the Shea tree. In it’s unrefined form it has an ivory, buttery color, solid at room temperature, but melts easily at body temperature. The Shea tree takes about fifteen years to produce nuts and nearly thirty years to get a crop from one tree, but the wait it worth is because its effects are almost instantaneous. And, if you haven’t heard of it, it’s certainly not because it’s new, it has been used for centuries, but for some reason many are just finding out about its beneficial uses. This edible butter is almost magical in its healing effects. It’s filled with Vitamins A, E and F. Shea butter contains high levels of unsaponifiables, which natural properties include moisturizing, conditioning, and vitamins, cinnamic acid which provides UV protection and reduces inflammation, redness and water retention. Today many beauty products for help with maintenance of the hair and skin are made with Shea butter. It’s good for any skin type, unless you have a nut allergy, and certainly, it is an essential product to have on your shelf.

Check Out All the Uses of Shea Butter * Daily moisturizing for face and body * Relieves dry skin * Soothes minor rashes, including diaper rash * Minimizes skin peeling and relief after sunburn * Heals blemishes and wrinkles * Relieves itching due to dryness * Treats small skin wounds * Softens and heals cracking skin * An anti-inflammatory * Prevents stretch marks * Heals minor burns * Treats mild to moderate eczema * Treats acne * Protects the skin and lips from sun and wind * Evens out skin tone * Prevents scarring * Softness calloused feet * Soothes arthritic pain * Maintains and restores skin’s natural elasticity

Ones we like

Shea Nilotica 4oz $16.00 SheaTerre Organics

All Natural Shea Butter Beige 16oz $24.00 Nature’s Shea Butter

Beurre de Karite 5.2oz $40.00 L’Occitane en Provence

The darker the Shea butter the better! White Shea butter has a lot of the natural properties removed. Try finding one that is unrefined. 76


Ever Heard of Vitamin F? Did your grandmother give you cod liver oil when you were little, saying it will keep you well? She was right, it will. And the reason is Vitamin F. Vitamin F is utilized by every cell in your body, yet most people are unfamiliar with it. And, even though we need it, the human body is incapable of producing it, so it’s important that you know about it and add to your diet. And lucky for us foods with Vitamin F are easy to find. This vitamin helps to promote normal growth and behavior, keeps cell membranes healthy, balanced hormone levels, strong immune systems and regulates cholesterol levels. Further, vitamin F supports healthy and shiny hair growth and gives a supple, youthful-looking skin. And it doesn’t just stop there, it takes part in the manufacture of adrenal and sex hormones, regulates blood pressure, supports eye and cardiac health, and may be a help in the relief of arthritis pain. Without it a person can suffer from learning disabilities, problems with memory, hair loss, eczema, and edema and its deficiency in the body may cause damage to the kidneys, liver and your heart. You are more susceptible to infections and even changes in behavior are noticeable when your body lacks enough of it. Yeah, it’s that important. Check below on foods that supply the well-needed, but virtually unknown Vitamin F.

Baked Cod Find the Recipe Here

Alaskan Salmon Bake with Pecan Crunch Coating Find the Recipe Here

Good Sources of Vitamin F

Fish - Cod, tuna, mackerle, salmon, trout and sardines Seeds - Sunflower, pumpkin, sesame, safflower, grape, soybean and flaxseed

Nuts - Pecans, walnuts, peanuts Fruits, Vegetables and Vegetable Oil - Avocados and all vegetable oils

Wheat Germ - An excellent source of Vitamin F Note: Cooking destroys many of the important nutrients in Vitamin F

Spinach, Avocado and Pumpkin Seed Salad Find the Recipe Here 77


Cooking Tip: Use herbs and spices and you ll use less salt!

Cutlery & Cilantro Cilantro: Sweet, spicy, or hot. Best used Fresh. Did you know that both cilantro and coriander comes from the same plant? The leaves are Cilantro and the seeds Coriander. Cutlery: What can you do in a kitchen without a knife? Invest in a good set, every proper chef does.

Thongs & Thyme Thyme: Minty, lemony. Best used: Dried or fresh. Thongs: Tossing salad, turn overyour meats in fryer, picking up hot stuff.

Food Processer & Fennel Fennel: Like anise but sweeter and lighter. Best Used: Raw or cooked. Food Processor: It slices, it dices, it purees, it mixes, it grinds, it shreds - - maybe we should hav listed what it does’t do. Sage: Musty, slightly bitter. Best used: Fresh or dried.

Saute Pan & Sage

Saute Pan: Used to cook over high heat and with little oil. A must for every kitchen. 78


Modern appliances saves time in teh kitchen and makes cooking easier! Rosemary & Roaster Rosemary: Very aromatice, faintly lemony and piney. Best used: Fresh or Dried Roaster: For large portions, adding lots of flavors and slow cooking.

Blender & Basil Basil: Pungent, somewhat sweet. Best Used: Fresh

Hardware & Herbs Blender: To “blend” things in!

A little alliteration for fun and some items to show you what a well stocked kitchen needs. Okay, so maybe not alliterations in the technical sense, I mean you don’t pronounce the “h” in herbs, and the “c” in “Cilantro” and “Cutlery” have different sounds, but you get what we mean, right? Well, at least they start with the same letter! Happy cooking!

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Book Reviews Our first Book Review section came by in a haphazardly kind of way. When I set out to go to California to interview our cover story, I decided to “kill two birds with one stone.” Why not interview other people while I’m there? I decided to do an article on the book Undecided and contacted the authors for an interview (they both live in California). I set up the interview, and with book in tow, and each page carefully read, I was ready and excited. Unfortunately, when I got to California, for some reason, things just didn’t pan out so I thought “Well, I’ll have to ditch the idea for that article.” Rewind two days before I left for California, I interviewed for a story and during the conversation I was asked if I had ever heard of Michael Beckwith, which I hadn’t. The day following my arrival in California, I met a woman at breakfast (which I ending doing a story on, “Take Hold of Your Passion” p. ) and she asked me had I ever heard of Michael Beckwith! What a coincidence. We spoke for a while and exchanged business cards. The next day she called and asked me did I want to go to church. We were going to Michael Beckwith’s church. Unbelievable. I figured this was meant to be, what would I get by meeting him? In the course of three days, my introduction of this stranger had taken a inevitable course. But once there, it was Rickie Byars-Beckwith that I think I was supposed to meet. I was introduced to her briefly, told her I was from Cleveland and wrote for a magazine. She flashed that great smile she has and took me right to her office and gave me a book. A wonderful little book. Well, that was it. I had two books, no interview for an article, the idea of a book review was born. So, what about the third book? As you know we are a woman’s magazine and thus far have only had woman contributors. But I ran across some information on relationships that was not only quite interesting, but quite accurate (at least in how I think). Only problem, it was written by a man. I really liked what he had to say and wanted to ask him to contribute to our magazine from “a man’s point of view.” But I had to make sure he would be a good fit. He’d wrote a book. I decided to read it. (See his book review here). Still impressed, I decided to ahead and ask him to contribute. He agreed (and we are too excited). Watch out for his articles in the next two issues. So, now one more book was read, why not add it to the reviews.? Excited as I am about this new addition to our little magazine, don’t expect this to be a regular addition, Sorry. Reading is very tedious for me (I know, shame on me). But don’t protest too much because if you like to read and you want to share your thoughts on a book, share it with us, we may just print your review. 80


Book Review Let My Soul

Surrender Grace Notes of a Journey

Hardback $27.00

by Rickie Byars Beckwith

A vibration became a feeling. A feeling evoked a thought. A thought produced a mood. A mood inspired the music. Music fashioned a verse. A verse revealed what I or somebody else needed to feel. Rickie Byars-Beckwith, a prolific composer, singer, performer, and music director of the Agape International Choir, a multi-ethnic 200-member choral group shares in her book “just how she feels when the music comes” to her. She tells her stories “in my own voice and in my distinct way.” Explaining “how music lives and breathes through this soul of mine.” The book is an easy read, the hardback cover containing only 133 pages. The beautiful, vibrant colors on the cover and throughout give off a happy feeling and on more than a few pages you’ll find Rickie smiling making the reading experience even more “happy.” The book is filled with illustrations, paintings and photographs that have an ethereal quality about them. A red, satin ribbon is attached to the book to hold your place (which I really liked). Just the physical book, before you even read the words, puts you in a “feel good” kind of place. It just gives off good vibes. It’s definitely a keeper. In the words of her book Rickie relays the story behind twelve songs she wrote. Writing the words to the songs on the pages she tells you how she got there, what inspired her, what she was doing, or had just finished doing, she literally shares the journey of inspiration with the reader. And they are good stories. Sometimes drawing you in, putting yourself in her place, wondering if you could have endured the long hours of meditation (a couple books sprang from just such events) and when you were set free, from the actual meditation event or from whatever was holding you back, what would you emerge doing.? The stories are familiar ones that include family - children, spouse, mother, and friends. It tells a familiar story to all. She has also included a CD of the songs she writes about. Short, inviting and heartwarming, you’ll quickly see that Rickie BB has a beautiful soul that comes out in her smile, in her face, in her actions and now in her book. A very enjoyable read. 81


Book Review

UNDECIDED How to Ditch the Endless Quest for Perfect and Find the Career - and Life That’s Right for You Paperback $16.95 by Barbara Kelley and Shannon Kelley Undecided is written by a mother and daughter team of excellent and prolific writers. Their tone is “girlfriend” like and enjoyable. Their writing experiences, Barbara teaches journalism and has written for the Huffington Post as well as many other publications, and Shannon with almost the same credentials as her mom, shows through in this exposé. It has tons of research conducted and documented at the end of the book along with questions (also at the end of the book) to help you find your place in their research of young, middle-aged, single, married, professional (in almost every sense of the word) women that they spoke with. I use the term exposé because it is certainly (or should be) criminal for women to have to suffer so. The book speaks outloud the cry of today’s woman now that choices for lifestyle, career and whether or not to marry and bare children abound. Each chapter gives several examples from real woman trying to make decisions for their lives, frustrating as it may be. And while the book does an excellent job of extending our battle cry to the literary world, it does not, as anticipated from the subtitle, help you find the perfect career or life. Instead, it checks back in with woman whose stories were relayed in earlier chapters and relays how they have made it through. It is calming, in a sense, to know that there may be some dry land at the end of this journey through a sea of boundless opportunities, but you won’t find the answers here, just a very good, very detailed description of what those problems are. The book, in it’s own way talks about New Age thought (meditation), economics (opportunity costs), the Passion Test (see our article on p. 46) and the wisdom that is found in growing old. If you need to relate to others going through the things you are going through in trying to make decisions in your life, this is definitely the book for you.

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Book Review HOW TO GET A MARRIED WOMAN TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU . . . IF YOU’RE HER HUSBAND Paperback $14.95

by Stephan Labossiere

Catchy title draws you in, smart writing keeps you there. A short, quick read, this 85 page book by Stephan Labossiere is insightful , funny and surprisingly, speaking as a woman, right on the spot. The book is written in a conversational tone, with the wants and desires of women emanating from every page. Although speaking to the man in the relationship, this book has got the thoughts and wishes of both sexes nailed and expressed in terms so that everyone can “get it.” The book is wise in its assessments, familiar in its tone and succinct in its delivery. The book, in my opinion and despite its title, does not address the concerns of only married men, but men in relationships in general. However, it’s obvious from several parts of the book that it is written from a Christian viewpoint and not wanting to introduce “sin” into an equation that is already fraught with misunderstanding, disappointment and frustration, he addresses the one concern. Kudos to you, Stephan. I was once told by a very old man that women want romance and men try to give them that through sex. That always stuck with me because it’s very true, this book brings that understanding to all of its readers. Stephan Labossiere, besides being an author, is a speaker, life coach and relationship consultant. If this book is a reflection of experiences in his chosen field, he seems to have gleaned a lot. He has relayed that this book is the beginning of a series to help couples get through their relationship woes. We are certainly looking forward to seeing what else he has to share. A perfect gift for any man that you know (or you just happen to meet on the street, at the mall or the library - - you get the picture). 83


Going Green "The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, 'In that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon!'" — John F. Kennedy

We need trees.

No, not to make paper and furniture, well, actually just about every part of the tree is used for something. And that’s the problem. We need tries for privacy, to reduce soil erosion, break the winter wind and for summer cooling. We need trees to reduce air pollution, for wildlife habitat as sight or sound barriers, we need them just because their beautiful The trees benefit you, your home, and your community. And, not just for now, but in the future, too. Planting a vibrant, beautiful tree is a basic

environmental act, a smart economic decision and a beautiful way to celebrate life, because without trees there would be no life on our planet. And, trees can also be a great gift idea. You can give the gift of planting a tree as a gift for birthdays, anniversaries, new births, in memoriam, or as a wedding gift. By giving a gift of a tree you can you can show that you care about the loved ones, and their future but that you care about our environment and replanting our nation’s forests.

Plant a Tree 84


Frugal Fashion: Staying Stylish on a Tight Budget Written by Megan Robinson Fashion by Abby Cook

L

ike most women, I like to try and dress cute and fashionable when I can. I look over the latest fashions and trends in magazines, swooning over the new season’s hottest looks. But being young students with a twoyear-old son and the hopes (or dread?) of many more years of graduate school, the thought of paying for expensive clothes is, quite honestly, out of the question. So, I had to get creative and finally be proud of being a total cheapskate all my life. I refuse to pay full price and/or more than $20 on an item. I can probably count on one hand the times I paid over $20, and they were only for special circumstances like weddings, reunions, or “I just had a baby, isn’t it worth it to get a new pair of shoes?!” A few arguments I have actually used. Since trying to dress fashionably can be difficult when you are on a tight, poor-college-student-and-have-ababy-to-feed budget, I thought I’d share my tips on how I try to stay stylish without breaking the bank. These tips will show you how you can still buy cute clothes without spending a fortune. Remember to have fun with your style, be confident, and make your own statement. You can still look like the people in magazines with just a little work and creativity.

1

Thrift Stores Are Your Friends. You would be amazed at

what goods people give away. All of my favorite pieces were found at thrift stores. If you have never shopped at a second-hand store before, a few tips to keep in mind include: taking your time, avoiding weekend rushes, and not expecting too much on one trip. Sometimes it takes multiple outings to find lots of good things. Patience is a virtue (one I don’t have but I still preach it)!

85


2

Have Clothing Swaps With Friends. Most of the time, you are already coveting everything your sister/friend/neighbor has in their wardrobe to begin with. So, why not embrace it and make a whole girls’ night out of it? Plus, it’s free clothes! You can’t go wrong with that. Invite over some friends, set out piles of gently used clothing that is no longer worn, break out the chocolate, and start trading.

3

Don’t Pass Up The Sales And Clearance Racks. Like

4

Reuse, Repurpose An Refashion. Mixing and

matching has been my bigges savior when I start getting bo with my clothes. Don’t be afr think outside the box and sh things up a bit. You can also your clothes last longer by re posing or refashioning them you start getting bored with t look (or if you find an aweso thrift store find that needs so extra umph). Accents and ac ries also do wonders to make clothes look as good as new.

Fashions from Forever21, sho com, meinto.com and Sugar

I said earlier, I do not like to spend full price on items unless the full price is already insanely cheap (Forever 21, anyone?). Whenever I’m in a store, I go straight for the sales and clearance racks. If I can’t find anything on clearance that I like, I leave empty handed. That sounds depressing maybe but, in all honesty, it’s rather rare that I don’t find anything I like. In a way, it has become a fun game for me to see what great deals I can spot. And nothing makes my heart flutter more (besides my husband, of course) when I see the price tag of $70 slashed down to $7 (Seriously happened one time. I was in heaven!). Again, you may have to have patience but when you come out with 7 items after paying only $25 for it all, you will be totally addicted! 86


nd

st ored raid to hake make epurm when the ome ome ccessoe your

oes. Lips.

87


Your Finances

by Auggie Key

Let’s talk money! In each issue of Leslie Blake we’ll offer some finance information, answer questions that you submit, including those about financial instruments and definitions, and posts comments you’ve shared with us.

Repair Your Credit: It s Not as Hard as You Think Your credit score is very important when trying to purchase a house, a car or many times just to rent an apartment or get a job. It is very easy, especially in these hard economic times, for your credit score to go down. You here all the time to protect your credit, but we thought we would list some ways to help you raise your credit score (and then protect it). Before we start make sure that you have a current credit report from all three credit bureaus. You will find that everything isn’t always listed on all three, so to make sure you get an accurate picture you need them all. You can get a free credit report every year (otherwise you’ll pay about $15 for each one unless you have recently been denied credit). The credit bureaus are TransUnion, Equifax and Experian. Just go to www.annualcreditreport. com, answer a few questions about yourself and your credit and you can get the full reports. Don’t pay for a credit report and be sure not to get caught up in a scheme to where you pay to have regular access to your credit report. The only thing you want to check on often is your credit score.

For your credit score you will probably have to pay. While working on your credit this is something that you want to check often. Make a note of your credit score when you first start to repair it so that you can see how you progress. Now you’re ready to get started and we have listed below four tips to help raise your credit score in just a few short months. 1. Review your credit report. A creditor can only report a delinquent account for seven years from the date that the account first became delinquent (not when they sent it to a collection agency, but when you stopped paying on it). Some creditors, however, will report an erroneous date so that they can continue to list it even though such actions are unlawful. If you find an account that is older than seven years on your report you need to dispute it with the credit bureau. Judgments against you expire

and must be renewed to be valid. Creditors don’t always take the time to renew the lien against you. Check with the court your judgment was filed in to see when a creditor must revive a lien. Additionally, you may find duplicate entries for the same delinquent account. These two (or more) entries will lower your credit score. An account cannot be listed with the original creditor and with collection agencies at the same time. Either the creditor is still holding the debt and is attempting to collect on it or has asked a collection agency to collect for it or the creditor has sold the debt to the collection agency. Only one can ask for payment. If there are duplicate entries of the same bill, even if it has different account numbers, you need to dispute it with the credit bureau. Disputes can be filed online, by telephone or by mail. You need to report the reason that you think the account should be removed from 89


your report. Include everything that you deem pertinent. Legally, accurate negative reports cannot be removed but if there is an error it cannot stay on your report. 2. If your credit is very poor and you have large debts including utilities, medical and credit card debt, you may want to consider filing bankruptcy. If you are not able to afford a lawyer, you can either file the bankruptcy petition yourself or get a bankruptcy preparer to do the paperwork (they can’t file for you, only you or a lawyer can do that). By law a bankruptcy preparer can’t charge more than $150 (lawyer may charge up to $2,000). If you want to get rid of all your debts you will need to file a Chapter 7, if you want to pay off your debts over time and in smaller amounts then file a Chapter 13. Most debts are dischargeable under bankruptcy law, but you cannot discharge any money owed to the government such as tax liens or school loans. 3. Try to settle with account holders. Many times creditors will settle with you for a smaller amount. You can simply call and ask if they will settle. If they do,

they usually want the agreed amount all at once. Occasionally, they will allow you to set up a payment plan on the settled amount. If they are not willing to settle, they should allow affordable payment plans. Even tax liens with state and federal governments will allow agreed settlement amounts and payment plans. 4. Get a credit card. We don’t mean get one with a $10,000 credit line or one that you use and then can’t afford to pay off. But reestablishing your credit is important and a credit card will help boost our credit rating quickly, you just have to be wise in how you use it. Credit card companies like Capital One, Premier and Orchard Bank will give credit cards to people with less than good credit. And if they refuse then you should opt for a prepaid (secured) credit card. You can put as little as $200 in a savings account with the bank, they’ll issue you a credit card and it will help raise your credit score just as if it was an unsecured cared. If ou have credit gards in good standing, it is alway a good idea to

transfer balances from credit cards with higher rates to those with lower rates and then get rid of thos high interest rate credit cards. You don’t need a lot of credit cards. One major credit and one department store credit card is enough. Learn to make purchases by paying with cash. The trick is to keep your balance at less than 50% of your total credit limit (so if your credit limit is 200, your balance should never exceed $100). And, you should pay off you balance in full each month. Some think that unless you keep a small amount that you owe on your credit card it won’t help to raise your credit score. That is not true. Installment loans, such as a car payment, are another way to quickly raise your credit score. However, if you go into to debt to buy a car you are defeating the purpose because you will invariabley run into the same can’t pay problems that gave you bad credit in the first place. Be patient, your score won’t increase over night, ti took a while for you to mess up your credit, give it time to come around. Learn from you mistakes and don’t buy more than you can afford.

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Etiquette A Lost Art Here’s a little quiz for you: You receive a package in the mail from your aunt in Seattle, she’s 73 but still gets around pretty well. You open up the package and it’s embroidered towels (done by hand) for your bath in your new house. Of course you would never hang such an outdated thing in your new ultra, modern, stainless steel and marble bathroom (unless she’s coming to visit), but you do appreciate them just the same. Should you a) E-mail her and let her know that you got the package; b) Give her a quick call when you know she’s sleeping (you can use that time zone excuse) or; c) Sit down and write (by hand) a thank you note and follow up with a phone call, when she’s actually woke. I know most of you are torn between “a” and “b,” right? Well, that’s because, as my mother used to 90

say, “You’re uncouth.” Of course the answer is “c.” Write her a note and then send me one, too for telling you what to do. I bet Emily Post is turning over in her grave. As for Miss Manners and her clan that’s still writing about proper etiquette, they may as well burn their books. Where did good manner go? Perhaps it’s all of our new fangled devices that are stopping up from being polite. We have to take every phone call that comes our way, and we certainly can’t leave unanswered the text from that new hot man you just met. How in the world did anyone manage to date before there was Facebook, Instgram and text messages? Everyone must have been single back then. I just can’t understand why is it no longer fashionable to have manners. What’s wrong with not

chewing your food so everyone can hear, or covering your mouth when you cough, and knowing which fork to use? Must you be so loud on that cell phone you’re using, and shouldn’t you say “thank you” and “please?” A little politeness, please. Someone tell me what’s wrong with that? Wouldn’t it be nice to spend your life around people and in places that radiate charm and grace? It seems that such a choice sets one back about 60 years, to the “olden days” because today people would rather just let it all hang out. How rude! Nowadays we put on our etiquette hats and dig up our good manners only for weddings and black tie affairs rather than everyday life, it’s no longer a social must - - and then when the opportunity arises most don’t know what to do.


Etiquette

Well, here’s a little help: •

Always write thank you notes when you receive a gift. Handwritten. They still sell those kinds of cards in the stationary section of your local drug store.

Unfold that cloth napkin at dinner and put it in your lap after everyone is seated. Place it in your chair if you leave before finishing dinner and on the table next to your plate when you’re finished. And, oh yeah, use it to wipe your mouth.

When you make a phone call and you don’t recognize the voice, don’t say “Who is this?” Who did you call to speak with? So, ask to speak with that person after you tell who you are.

And the same is true for the person receiving the call. Say “may I ask who’s calling,” and “would you like to leave a message,” if the person they’re calling isn’t available.

Talking on your cell phone when you’re out and in the company of others is rude. Keep your cell phone in your purse or pocket while out to dinner with friends, business associates or your better half. The same goes for texting.

Talking loud on your cell phone isn’t proper either when you must use it.

wander all over the sidewalk.

Address your elders by their last name, unless instructed otherwise. Offer a handshake if the introduction is formal.

Don’t chew with your mouth open (stop smacking), don’t put your head down close to your plate when you eat (sit us straight), don’t slurp your food and use your mouth, not your teeth, to take that food off the fork (you should try the non-smear lipstick).

Don’t brush your hair, pick your teeth and pull out a tit to feed your baby at the dinner table. Go to another room.

And last but not least, don’t belch and fart your way through an evening. If you have gas, excuse yourself and go home. But before you get home stop at the drugstore and buy some antacids, and while you’re there pick up a pack of note cards. When you get home take a handful of those antacids and use the note cards to send an apology to your dinner mates for being so rude!

When walking down the street or taking the stairs, your lane is to the right. Don’t Emily Post 91


Five Things You Shouldn t Talk About with your New Boyfriend Of course there are more than five things that you shouldn’t say to the new man in your life. You don’t want to put all the baggage of your life, things that even you have a hard time dealing with, in the ear of someone you’re just getting to know. And, we’re definitely not saying that your relationship won’t grow into something wonderful that you can share all with him. But for now, until you can see just where this new relationship will take you, just relax, have fun and “mums” the word.

1. Your Old Boyfriend. Should we even have to give a reason for this one? Hopefully, you’ve learned from your past relationships. And you certainly should have learned not to compare one man to another. You won’t have a healthy relationship doing that. Plus, your new man really doesn’t want to hear about it.

2. His Old Girlfriend.

Why bring up old memories, good or bad? There not together for a reason and you don’t want him rethinking those reasons, re-evaluating his old relationship, nor do you want him to start comparing your new relationship with his old one. “Let sleeping dogs lie.” Be the best you can be in the relationship and make it all about you and him and not “you, him and what’s her name.”

3. Your Ideal Wedding. Some woman are already making plans for their wedding, the dress, the venue, even the ring before they are in a serious relationship. We know you do it, And we’re not saying it’s wrong. A girl’s got to dream, right? Just make sure you hide that stack of Brides Magazines before he comes over. 92

4. Things Your Girlfriends Said About Him. Misery loves company. Girlfriends, while you can love them to death and tell them anything, don’t always give the best advice when it comes to your new man. And whatever they say you shouldn’t share with him. If they think he’s cute, don’t tell him, because then he’ll want to size them up, and maybe he’ll like what he sees (the relationship is still new). And, if they’re saying bad things he’ll wonder if you have your own opinions about things. If they tell you good things, smile and be happy for your good fortune. If it’s bad, check it out for yourself and make the decision of what to do, because that’s what you “ want” and not because your girlfriends said so.

5.How Much Money You Make (or Don’t Make). How is that any of his business?

Do you always tell strangers about your finances? Until it matters in your relationship (you’re getting married, moving in together) there is no reason to tell. Men still get upset when a woman makes more money then they do, and in another scenario you don’t want him to keep you so that you can “keep” him.


Legal Corner Incorporate Yourself Small businesses are the backbone of our country and grew our middle class. Entrepreneurship is a way to define yourself, earn income and be independent from the stress of the corporate world. But it also can mean long hours, some creative thinking and a lot of legal paperwork required by the government to protect your employees and you. And while these paperwork may seem tedious or perhaps even confusing, with a little research you can handle it without the help of a lawyer saving you hundreds of dollars. One such documentation is Articles of Incorporation. These documents filed with the Secretary of State if you want to incorporate your business to protect yourself from liability. For example, if someone sues your company, if you are incorporated you will not be personally liable for any legal actions and probably no one will be able to touch your

personal assets such as your home, personal bank account or automobile. I say probably, because it is possible to “pierce the corporate veil” by showing your business does not “act” as a corporations because it has no “will or mind of it’s own.” But that’s for another installment of Legal Corner. A corporation is considered a “legal person” and can sue and be sued, so essentially incorporating makes your company another “person.” There are different types of corporations as well as partnerships that can protect you from liability. It’s best to read up on the type of business organization is best suited for your company. And, of course there is option of being a sole proprietor. I can’t, off the top of my head, think of one good reason of being a sole proprietor as opposed to being incorporated. Incorporating is very simple, yet lawyers will

charge you hundreds and up to a thousand dollars or more to file your Articles. This is a rip-off. For instance, in the State of Ohio, the articles consists of three pages and require you to choose a type of incorporation (for profit, non profit, professional association), a name for your business, the address of your business, your signature, and the name, address, and signature of your statutory agent (a person that can receive mail for you, which can be yourself). The hardest part is determining if you want to have shares, if you’re just starting out that answer is more than likely “no.” That’s it. It takes about ten minutes to fill out the papers. And if you get confused there are instructions for each line and if you still get it wrong, they’ll mail it back to you with your errors highlighted. By Collette Vandiver

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Day Day

2

Night Glam It up!

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Heading out after work for a night on the town or perhaps attending an after-hours work event or a night out with the girls? With hectic schedules nowadays and time limitations, switching up your daytime makeup look doesn’t have to be time consuming or difficult at all. Whether you wear little or no makeup, or wear a full face every day, these simple hints will have your basic makeup routine transformed into a glamorous evening look with time to spare! By Denise Gevaras www.makeupbydenise.com

Transform Y Glam For the Eyes:

Switch up your day time bro ning look. Use a small detail brush to smudge th not a huge fan of eyeliner, line just the top of your of your lashes to accent your eyes. Even using a d can make it simple for those that find applying ey

To add some drama to your natural day time eye s eye shadow, such as MAC shadow in Typographic small eye shadow brush, smudging a bit in the ou into your eye crease. Apply a light shimmery eye mascara for a simple but elegant evening look.

Love those Lashes: For those that are a

false lashes can work wonders and look absolutely With a little practice, false lashes are easy, fun and ning. There are many styles to choose from so fin whether natural or dramatic, shouldn’t be difficult perfect!


Your Everyday Makeup into a morous Evening Look

own eyeliner to black for a more formal or elegant evehe line a bit to give a slightly smokey effect. If you’re r eyelid from outer corner to inner corner at the base dark shadow with a small detail brush in place of liner yeliner a tricky task.

shadow routine, for a smokier eye effect, apply a dark c, Print or Black Tie (a few of my favorites), using a uter corners of each eyelid and blending well midway shadow under the brow and top it off with 2 coats of

bit more daring, applying y beautiful for any event. d look simply stunnding the perfect look, lt at all. Practice makes

Mac Black Tied $15

Mac Crystal Avalance $15

Penultimate Eye Liner $18.50

For the Lips:

Probably the simplest way for even the non-makeup wearer to transform their day time look and be ready for the evening is switching to a dark or bold lip color. This look is perfect when keeping the eye makeup simple. Try a rich Red, a deep Wine or even a dark Pink lipstick or gloss. Your whole look will pull together beautifully. Try different shades based on your skin tone. If you’re on the warmer side, use an “orange based” red or if your undertones are cooler, try a “blue based” red with a pink undertone. Keep in mind, glosses usually appear darker in the tube then when actually applied and may be a bit too sheer if you’re going for a more dramatic lip.

#1 Nars Viridiana $21; #2 L’Oreal Color Riche Lipstick Pure Burgandy’ #3 Shiseido Sheer Lipstick RS628 Natural Wine $25 95


Dear Chloe It takes a little wisdom to make a relationship work, and a prudent question is one-half of that wisdom.

Dear Chloe, I am still in love with my exboyfriend. I just can’t seem to move on. Other guys have asked me to go out, but I just don’t want to. Everything was perfect with me and my ex-boyfriend and I know that I will never be able to find that again. So why even try? My heart jumps every time the phone rings or a car pulls up in my driveway because I think that it may be him. My friends tell me that he has moved on (he’s even dating another girl) but I just can’t do it. I feel that one day we may get back together and I just want to wait for that day.

with you (just guessing because you said everything was perfect) so he didn’t want to be with you any longer (Ouch, I know). Here’s my advice, get over him by thinking of it as you’re doing it for him. I’m sure that if you love him, you want him to be happy, right? Well, right now he is not happy with you and there is no way you can be sure that he ever will. Just say to yourself, “me getting over him will make him happy, and I want him to be happy, so I will get over him.” Then find something to do that will occupy your mind and your thoughts.

Signed Hopelessly in Love

Dear Chloe,

Dear Hopelessly,

My boyfriend wants me to have oral sex with him, but I just can’t. What should I do? I don’t want to lose him.

It appears that your relationship was not perfect because other than the fact that nothing is ever perfect, you two broke up. That means that evidently there was a problem. Your ex-boyfriend has moved on and so should you. I know that it will not be an easy feat because you can’t just change the way you feel at an instant. I take it that he broke up 96

Signed Afraid to Go Down Dear Afraid, Don’t be afraid. If you can’t do it, then don’t. It’s just that simple. And if he doesn’t understand, you don’t need him as your boyfriend.


CHECK IT OUT


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Although people are very happy about it, many are having a hard time understanding why a brand as exclusive as Missoni would do create a line with Target. Founded in 1953, Missoni known for its distinctively colorful, zigzag and geometric patterns, represents a unique, high end, ready-towear classic knit style. Items usually go for $300 to $600 dollars. Target’s line ranges from $30 to $60 and products other than clothing are no more that $199. The company has also diversified over time, adding carpet, perfumes and tapestries to their line. But Missoni started simply, originally making outfits for track and maybe that’s why it chose to create a line at Target. And it’s love story finding love at a track meet where Rosita, on seeing Ottavio decided that he would become her husband . These fashion icons started off in a tiny workshop owned by newlyweds.

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Candle Chandelier $208 hillsbury.com

Potted Fern

Sunburst Golden Ribbon Mirro $80 Wayfair

Black End Table $145 Sears.com

Glass Ball Silk Shade Lamp Target.com

Happy

Gold Silk Pillow $30 Pillow Decor Paisley Armless Chair Set $350 Overstock.com 100


Inspired

A little of our style with decor inspired by the designs of Lauren Liess

Solace Poppy Sofa $600 Value City Furniture Safavieh Tiebetan Striped Rug 5 x7 $800 Wayfair

Decorating!

Judy Paul Flowers and Circles $203 Overstock.com 101


Facebook and Twitter you can be whomever youwant to be . . .

On

Social Media Reality 102


The social media has given us the opportunity to live the lives we have always wanted to live - - even if we don’t actually lead them. Anything that anyone else has, you can have it bigger and better, because no one really knows the truth, and if they do, they’re not telling because odds are, they are living another life on the world wide web, too. Social media was designed to bring power to ourselves, making us able to share, expand and introduce what we are, and what we seek, to the world through a solitary computer. But, it has become so much more than that. It has become a place of alternate reality. We can, by answering a few fill in the blank “Tell us about yourself ” questions, have a college education, even if you haven’t graduated high school, you can profess to having a loving soul mate, although you know your husband is cheating on you and an exciting life is only a few “status updates” or tweets away. You can confront people that you may not ever be willing to confront in real life, and you can tell how smart and cute your children are without letting anyone know that some days you don’t have enough food to feed them and you’re buying clothes for them from people who steal from the mall. Ah, yes, with today’s social media you can be anyone and anything you want to be. Sharing, blow by blow every facet of your life right down to telling where you are, what you’re eating (complete with a picture of it) and who you are with. People feel compelled to post

these things because their “friends” turn into regret at some point? Or and “followers” are watching them something more? and are posting, tweeting, and And not only are people creating insta-gramming their lives. It apand enhancing their own lives they pears that peer pressure has folare pretending to be celebrities, in lowed us to the Internet. Only here fact, it is becoming a trend. Trying you don’t have to cower to live someone else’s life will not to that bully, or feel bad get you any further in your life. Usbecause your clothes ing your time and energy to create are second hand, you a false you could be used to make a can feel good about great real you. yourself even if it isn’t The question then is what drives the truth. And, what people to want to become someone makes it even worse, else? And if it is a bad thing, which people are defensive of it is, how can we now change the this made up life and behavior of the millions who use suspicious of others. social media platforms as their Facebooker and Tweeters often great escape? don’t believe the glamorous lives Of the many areas where our posted by others. It’s like the pot privacy is exploited, this is one area calling the kettle black. Yet, they where some constraint is necessary. still try to be just as cute, have more Perhaps people not knowing who fun and be better than those they you are while you interact with othdisbelieve. They are not who they ers online could have some value. profess to be but still hy can’t But more likely than not It is find the need to judge just a way that people hide I be when they do bad things. But others. This alternate reality couldn’t be good who I want I am hard pressed to find any for us because it isn’t to be if I’m value in anonymity and freewho we really are. So, dom found on the Internet as not hurting what happens to the opposed to authenticity. real us when this fake Certain times we all need a anyone? reality comes crumbreak from reality that’s why bling down? we watch movies and read You could say that you can step books. Social media could be that away, that it is a fake reality, but out, a momentary get-a-way from this fake reality is affecting our real the stress and trials, and maybe lives. Men and women alike are humdrumness of your life. But finding that their spouses are cheat- people are taking it too far. “Why ing on them with someone they can’t I be who I want to be if I’m not met on Facebook, and sometimes hurting anyone.” Do as you please, it’s yourself that you find in a online it’s your life, or lack thereof, that relationship. We say things that you’ll have to deal with. You’ll never hurt people, things that we can’t grow as a person and reach your take back and things that are seen goals pretending to be something by hundred of people. We are living you’re not to all of your “friends” pretending that we are doing some- and followers, all 1,076 of them. thing, because we don’t want to be Truly, you must know that these a failure. In reality you haven’t done people are unequivocally strangers anything and won’t that realization and you are doing yourself a 103

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diservice. Authentic is what we should endeavor to be, it is what we are away from the computer and with our interactions with our real friends and family what we are, because when face to face with others, there isn’t much else you can be. Not to say that people don’t lie. Unabash-

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edly sharing information, much of it personal, some of it maybe lies, and all of it information that most people used to consider private. We all want to do better with our lives, to have more, even those that appear to some us to have everything. Each one of us struggle to create and maintain an identity.

And, those that have created an alternate self sometimes they get so wrapped up with their fake realities, spending hours and hours tweeting and being on Facebook that it is creating a void where real life should be.


Love at First Sight Magic or Myth? 104


I look at you, you look at me, and immediately we know, there should be an “us.” Is it possible? Do you believe in love at first sight? Well, approximately 60% of Americans do. And maybe, there is something to it. It’s not very surprising that, for the most part, we can quickly size up whether we think we’ll like a person we just met, male or female. That’s because we still have an intuitive skill to quickly assess friend from foe that was passed down to us from our prehistoric ancestors millions of years ago. No big deal. And, to take that one step further, it’s pretty

natural to make up our minds about whether an individual could be an appropriate match when it comes to love. As a matter of fact, experts have found that we can do that within the first three minutes of talking to them. It’s just something about him, maybe you can’t explain it, someone that you just met that you could spend the rest of your life 105


with him. All in the first few seconds of meeting them. Is that possible? Ancient Greeks and Romans thought of love as a sort of madness. It was thought that the love arrow, after catching the eye of it’s intended victim, would pierce the heart and cause love sickness that brought with it both pleasure and pain. From the classical period to this day, the phenomenon of “love at first sight” still conjures up the idea of immediate, eternal, passionate love, a madness of the heart - - heart pounding, palms sweating, stammering over our words and then there’s that stupid grin that you just can’t seem to hide. A surge that comes over you. And you’re sure that it’s

magic and that it’s “meant to be,” otherwise how could you love him so soon. Somewhere close by, a sweet, round, rosy cheeked cherub with bow and arrow at hand must have shot his potion of love straight into your heart. The feeling, the experience, it’s so real, so what else could it be? You just know, in your heart, in your mind, in every part of your being, that this is true love, right? And you’re right, you do feel it in “every part of your being” but probably what just happened is just pure science. Don’t be upset that those signals you were getting are proof of finding the love of your life. Your body just can’t help itself when certain situations arise. For instance, you sense of smell detects a man’s phero-

mones and this can cause this new found attraction. It has been determined that women are associated to me that smell like their father and to those that have a different immune system then they do. Then there’s that boat-load of chemicals (neurotransmitters) - norepinephrine, epinephrine, dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins - that your body just dumped into your nervous system. Unfortunately, that’s a natural occurrence for your body and probably doesn’t predict anything close to everlasting love, but what it does predict is something more like physiological arousal. In other words, that person turns you on. Now isn’t that a kick in the pants (no pun intended). Hey, but we’re not knocking it, if you ever get that feeling who’s to say, it just might turn into love. So our suggestion? Go for it.

{ { Passionate love, as found in the writing of classical authors, often had disastrous results. Many times this love is often one-sided and not returned by those not pierced by the arrow. In such cases, the loved one could be cruel, uninterested pushing the lover into a state of depression, illness, heartbreak and even sometimes driving him to his death.

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Judi Williams Owner & Pastry Chef Phone 216-903-9007 www.qandadesserts.com


Email us at: editor@leslieblakemag.com


Wild Chicory in Olive “It’s always been a favorite of mine and its vibrant periwinkle-colored blooms remind me of summer roadtrips and my Grandma’s cottage in Illinois. This woodcutesque drawing was my first textile design.”

Swatches from Lauren’s textiles collections with excerpts from her description of each. To see all of her fabrics and a full description visit her at www.thepurestyle.com

Happikat in Black “An overscale ikat that just makes you feel happy = Happikat!”

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Pure Style

Lauren Liess Textiles Company

Fern Star in Yellow “My longtime obesession with botanicals and ferns in particular led to the Fern Star design.”

Live Paisley in Gold “A true “doodle.” It’s the very same little leaves & flowers I’ve doodled since childhood.”

Magnolia in Yellow Magnolias in summer. “I literally stick my entire face into the blooms to just breathe them in.”

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Waiting for Mr. Right By the time we even become adolescents most women no longer believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny. Yet we never seem to change our belief in one day nding our Prince Charming and living happily ever after. 108

Fairytales, our bedtime stories, stick with us and beset us from the reality of nding a love that may turn out to be the kind we re looking for. We must learn to realize, that the stories of Cinderella and Snow White really are just tales.


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f course there are those that find their true loves, and fall in love and stay in love for their lifetime. But most times that butterfly in stomach, deep, can’t do with out love doesn’t last - it’s just too intense. And for those that are waiting for it, it might be time for you to stop and realize that you probably aren’t going to find it and more than likely are going to spend the rest of your life alone. It is a sad thing to say, and maybe even harder to realize, but it is more than likely true. The older you get, the harder it is to find that kind of love. People are set in their ways, not as flexible about what they need and want in a man (bet you aren’t still believing that you can live on love alone like you did when you were young). You want more and more the older you get because you realize it takes more, not to have the life you dream of, but just to survive. And sometimes I don’t think they make those kind of men anymore, the ones in shining armor, that come to your rescue and whose kiss can break any spell. As a matter of fact, I don’t think that they make that kind of woman anymore either.

The kind of woman that wants total commitment to a relationship - they want nothing more than to get married, have children and get that white picket fence. Woman today don’t have time because they’ve got a full time career somewhere else. How much are you willing to give up to have Mr. Right? We have to face it, we can’t have it all. So, how long are you going to wait? I know several people in their forties and even fifties that has never been married and regret it. And sometimes now are settling for Mr. Nothing Else because that’s all that’s left. We should realize that when love comes it doesn’t have to knock you over with a bulldozer, that sometimes it’s a slow, gradual love that will be the right one. There won’t always be the immediate chemistry. So, since you have time to wait, check out the one that’s there, that wants to be the one. That’s settling you say? What’s wrong with that? Woman lie when they say they don’t need a man, it isn’t true. We

want a man and all that comes with it - someone to depend on, someone to talk to, spend time and grow old with. Not many people can honestly say that what they want for the rest of their lives is to be alone. Well, not anyone who is mentally stable. As you get older (you twentysomethings out there, there’s still hope for you), you should stop holding out for Mr. Right, if you truly want to get married, and try for a Mr. Close Enough. He might just turn out to be the one. Most of us women who are waiting are thinking that Mr. Right will come and bring them not only true love but happiness. Happiness doesn’t come from someone else, it comes from within. And having that Mr. Second Best might be the spark that helps you to find that internal happiness. You never know. So what’s wrong with waiting for Mr. Right? He just might not ever come and then where will you be? All alone. And, don’t say it doesn’t matter that you’ll be alone because if it didn’t you wouldn’t have been holding out for Mr. Right in the first place.

How could that be wrong? 109


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We’ll Miss You, Whitney We’ll miss how you used to pat the microphone to the beat of the music when you were singing. We’ll miss how you used to take that deep breath right before you belted out that loud, soulful note. And we’ll miss your simple but elegant beauty, right down to the short, colorless nails that you always wore. So young, so talented, we will always remember your music, your smile and you.

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