Austin Kern | Midterm | Elang 325 Introduction The two paragraphs I've chosen to analyze are from Jeffrey R. Holland's most recent address in General Conference titled, Like a Broken Vessel. Elder Jeffrey R. HollandHe is one of my favorite instructors on religious mattersof religion, so I decided to analyze two stylistically dissimilar paragraphs from his General Conference address, “Like a Broken Vessel,” thought it would be informative to analyze two stylistically dissimilar paragraphs to see if they both match his purpose of speaking with compassion for those who suffer. He began his address by quoting the Apostle Peter whosaying "[The apostle Peter] wrote that disciples of Jesus Christ are to have 'compassion one of another.' In that Spirit I wish to speak." He then said that it would be in that spirit that he wished to speak. Paragraph #1 "...I have seen it in young fathers trying to provide for their families. In that regard I once terrifyingly saw it in myself. At one point in our married life when financial fears collided with staggering fatigue, I took a psychic blow that was as unanticipated as it was real. With the grace of God and the love of my family, I kept functioning and kept working, but even after all these years I continue to feel a deep sympathy for others more chronically or more deeply afflicted with such gloom than I was. In any case we have all taken courage from those who, in the words of the Prophet Joseph, 'search[ed] ... and contemplate[d] the darkest abyss' and persevered through it -- not the least of whom were Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchhill, and Elder George Albert Smith, the latter being one of the most gentle and Christlike men of our dispensation, who battled recurring depression for some years before later becoming the universally beloved eighth prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." Paragraph #2 "So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening: 'That love never changes. ... It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.' Never ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior's own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead."
Though sentence structure alone doesn’t indicate the eloquence of a writer’s style, Holland uses word count in the paragraphs above strategically. Ostensibly, a sentence's word count shouldn't indicate alone the intelligence of a writer's style, but I think there's something to be said here. In saying nothing of his euphemistic tone, the first paragraph, where Holland was showing a averages 36 words per sentence while showing "deep sympathy.," In contrast, averages 36 words per sentence. Contrast that with the second
paragraph of encouragement has anwhere the average word count of per sentence is 14.5 per sentence (fewer by moremore than half fewer words per sentence than the first paragraph!). Theat second paragraph is marked by concise, feasible steps while the first was marked by flowing, seemingly indistinctflowing modifiers. Although they are dissimilar in word count per sentence, the two sentence structuresthey both maintain his purpose of speaking with compassion to those who suffer.
Analysis of Paragraph #1 Furthermore, iIn his longer-sentenced paragraphthe first (the first paragraph with longer sentences), Holland is, in effect, taking time to be thorough in showing sensitivity and warmththorough to show sensitivity and warmth. He is trying to say, “Ccome, warm your hands by the fire of my encouragement;, I am here to buoy you up.” I believe brevity here We have to believe that brevity here would lack the sympathy strong enough to reach his audience. As he altruistically shared a run-in he had with despairing discouragement, he incorporatedused non-restrictive modifiers to add a richness and a depth to his anecdote that he couldn’t have otherwise achieved.could not have otherwise been achieved. For example, he writes, “Suppose, for example, that he did not mention the bolded part of the following excerpt: "In that regard I once terrifyingly saw it in myself. At one point in our married life when financial fears collided with staggering fatigue, I took a psychic blow that was as unanticipated as it was real." The bolded words represent the descriptive modifiers; without such, his level of compassion would not be achieved. With much less detail, he would have missed the opportunity Lacking in detail, it would have read something like this: "In that regard I once terrifyingly saw it in myself. I once had a psychic blow, so to speak." And then he would have continued on with his address, missing a moment to relate more fully with his audience. Additionally, Hhis use of nonrestrictive modifiers represents the ongoingness of God’s and capture the reality of God's plan, which doesn't stop workingplan, , especially for those suffering. If he were brief, his seemingly verbose modifiers would not well have well encapsulated God's never-ending concern for those struggling. Furthermore, his His concluding sentence in the first sample paragraph accurately provides another example where he used modifiers to reach a deeper level of connection, further fulfilling his purpose to speak in a spirit of compassion one of another. Let's imagine that his 85 word, modifier-filled sentence didn't contain the bolded portion: "In any case we have all taken courage from those who, in the words of the Prophet Joseph, 'search[ed] ... and contemplate[d] the darkest abyss' and persevered through it -- not the least of whom were Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchhill, and Elder George Albert Smith, the latter being one of the most gentle and Christlike men of our dispensation, who battled recurring depression for some years before later
becoming the universally beloved eighth prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." His sentence would have worked just finesufficed without the modifiers, but I think he added themit to relate, once again, on a deeper level with the members of the church who revere prophets. Words like ____ and ___ bring him to the audience’s level and give concrete descriptions of his feelings. His purpose wasn’t verbosityVerbosity wasn't his purpose,, but showing understanding and support was. A few extra words here serve tod his purpose of extending and demonstrateing compassion. Now let's have a look at the way Holland’s use ofd shorter sentences when to offerinrg guidance and suggestionstips, while evoking his purpose of speaking with compassion. As if he were a quarterback at the line of scrimmage, he callsed an audible from the first paragraph to the second; instead of employing a relative clause fronted by an adjective phrase wrapped in a long nonrestrictive modifier as he did in the first paragraph, he usesd positive and negative forms of imperatives , naturally liftingto lift the passive victim of depression to an active role in their course of thought. Instead of throwing incomplete passes, he reads the defense and throwsew touchdowns. Analysis of Paragraph 2 His language in the second paragraph illustrates a change in strategy. While his purpose remains consistent, he switches from a tone of establishing friendship and building trust to a tone of urgency saying, His sentences became shorter as if to prompt urgency. "Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost." Here, inspires urgency with shorter sentence structures. If someone someone were sinkingdrowning, you wouldn't call out to them that person as if to say, “Hey, I know how you feel.” Rather, you would immediately throw out a life preserver and to save him or herthe person quickly. So, his transition is not only one from flow to brevity, but from In like manner, comfort to he transitioned from his first paragraph where he established that he is a friend, that he is ever ready to understand and empathize, to his second paragraph where he is figuratively throwing out the life preserver and he himself is jumping in the ocean to save the weary traveler. He said in the second sample paragraph, "Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost." With Oone imperative phrase after another, he encouragesd with the intent of not only showing compassion, but of responding to the painful reality that some are tragically facing. He continues,: "[N]never lose faith...never doubt [God's love] . . . ...remember the Savior's own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead." His consistent shorter directives aren't coincidental. They are coordinating an effort to prompt immediate action which is necessary as pertaining to his topic of salvation. HisHis brevity here extends a helping with a hand of wisdom without lacking concern. doesn't show a lack of concern but rather a steady hand of wisdom to help.
Conclusion The New Oxford American Dictionary 3rd edition defines compassion as "sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others," and then provides the following example sentence: "[T]the victims should be treated with compassion."
That word "treated" is of particular interest to me because after this cursory stylistic analysis, I sense that Holland iwas doing more than talking about mental and emotional disorders. , hHe iswas showing how to speak to and encourage in a spirit of "compassion one of another"— - he was in effect, demonstrating how to treat with compassion.