Latest 7: No. 671

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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk Sussex Macmillan Dr George Deutsch, chairman of The Sussex Cancer Fund, on the new Cancer Support Centre

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A fine romance

Eternal Love, Howard Brenton’s story of Abelard & Heloise, comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton page 09

HAL CRUTTENDEN The comedian talks about his new show THE GREAT ESCAPE Example joins the festival line-up

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2014 thelatest.co.uk

@latestbrighton

25–31 MAR 2014

www.facebook.com/thelatest7

CONTENTS NEWS & COMMENT

Online now: News, film previews, Brighton & Hove Albion, giveaways, celebrity interviews, what’s on listings and the Latest Brighton Download Chart.

06 Latest Brighton & Hove News The Vote with Frank le Duc and seven days of headlines with Tim Ridgway 08 Bare Cheek I Remember; Forgotten musical instruments 12 Celeb City #WithSyria, Peter Andre, Example, and a farewell 16 Andrew Kay In need of some time out 16 Competitions Tickets to see Postman Pat Live; new NOW CDs

Latest Homes is available on your mobile or tablet. Search for a property, day or night, wherever you are

Work starts on the Sussex Macmillan Cancer Support Centre

Register with us to stay posted on new properties coming to the market.

As soon as the agent has been instructed, it appears on the site!

Fill in your criteria to get matched to the perfect property. It’s easy

It has taken years of hard work. But thanks to thousands of donors, work has now started on the Sussex Macmillan Cancer Support Centre. With the turf now cut, fundraisers are promising the £6 million building in Bristol Gate, Brighton, will be complete by summer 2015. Hundreds of people attended a special thank you party at the American Express Community Stadium on Tuesday 18 March to mark the start of work. The Sussex Macmillan Cancer Support Centre is the result of close working between two charities: Macmillan Cancer Support and the Sussex Cancer Fund.

For details of advertising opportunities with latesthomes.co.uk Please contact Lesley 01273 818150 lesley@thelatest.co.uk

LIFESTYLE 04 Brighton Writes Vanessa has some big news 05 Latest People Rendezvous Casino and The Quaint Queer Weird fair 09 On the cover: Theatre Royal Brighton Howard Bremton’s Eternal Love

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@LatestTVBtn

11 Interview Comedian Hal Cruttenden on his Tough Luvvie show 13 Hotlist Places to dine this week 15 The Open University Study for an MBA with The Open University 14 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Everything’s flaming good at The Gardeners Arms

WHAT’S ON

GIG

PARTY

IN BRIGHTON

IN BRIGHTON

Luke Concannon + Jimmy Davis Soul fired, Folk Hip-Hop from the depths.

Tuesday 25 March,8.30pm, £8/£6

t

Latest Group

Latest 7/Homes

Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Latest Homes Sales Director Lesley Lawrence

Editor Zara Baker Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Advertising Manager Rachel Simm Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Jason Weaver Kyle Moon (apprentice)

Sub Editor Ben Bailey Staff writers Sade Ali Vanessa Austin Locke Jo Brooks Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller Alastair Reid Zoe Thomas Latest 7 Interns Lily Blackmore Rhiannon Pulling

The Coal Porters Alt-bluegrass band, formed in the 1990s by exLong Ryder Sid Griffin.

Monday 31 March, 8pm, £12

Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Latest News

Jenni Davidson Frank le Duc Jay Legate (Sport) Tim Ridgway Latest News Intern Ceirney Eddie

Latest TV

Val Aviv David Cuff Andy Nicholls William Ranieri Yuki Stephenson

Latest MusicBar Ruth Ratner James Charter Stella Pitt Ali Cluney-Hickford Steve Parfrement Latest MusicBar Intern Andrew McClean

17 Latest TV Behind the scenes of Latest Sport with Jay Legate 18 Reviews; Booking now; Music Chart & Clubs Franz Ferdinand, The Itch and Girls On Top 19 What’s On The new season at Chichester Festival Theatre 22 Brighton After Dark A week of Myyths and Polar Bear 23 TV Listings Seven days of TV listings Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: sales@thelatest.co.uk

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

To advertise call 01273 818150

THE LATEST TV CHANNEL from Brighton with love ❤

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04

BRIGHTON WRITES

Head shot Courtesy Jerry Lebens

Vanessa Austin Locke

What’s love got to do with finding a theme for your wedding?

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he big news here is that I’ve finally managed to find a man brave enough to marry me.

He can handle my incessant irritability, my excessive sleeping pattern and my penchant for the very dregs of reality television. On top of which he is the son of Elizabeth Bennet no less. A man like that is hard to find, I can assure you, I’ve looked and even Mr Darcy himself turned out to be rather more of a Mr Wickham.

After the happy event we kept it to ourselves for a little while, just enjoying luxuriating in the kind of repulsive soppiness that nobody else wants to see.

We did things like tour the bloody battlefields of the “He can handle my D-Day Landings.

“Darling,” I said incessant irritability – a deliriously, “This is man like that is hard to supposed to be an engagement weekend. find, I can assure you” Shouldn’t we be cycling through country lanes with picnics or something?”

“It is an engagement weekend,” he replied ecstatically, before continuing under his breath, “engagement with the enemy.”

Then we went and watched the opening scenes of Saving Private Ryan again, just to put it all into context.

But the peace and tranquillity of those lazy, war-filled afternoons was soon gone and we faced the double-edged task of Telling People. Double edged because we’re both rather more private in reality than we’d have you believe, but mostly because weddings, and everything surrounding them, have gone supernova these days with a somewhat overwhelming aura of hysteria.

The anticipated squeals of excitement, questions about dates, unsolicited advice, and the marketing barrage that surely comes if you’re determined to change your Facebook relationship status rather had me wanting to take a nap, let alone the thought of actually organising a wedding.

But the question that I’ve had more than any other and which has left me entirely baffled is this: “What’s the theme of your wedding?”

“Well... er... marriage?”

They look back at me equally baffled.

“No, no!” I’m told. “That simply won’t do. You must have a theme. How about pink? Or vintage? Or pink vintage snowboarding Eurotrash?”

“The theme of my wedding is marriage,” I repeat.

The incredulous stares only deepen.

“Ok, what about pink vintage snowboarding Eurotrash cupcake chic?”

“Um... I’m good with marriage, thanks.”

“But how will you make everything match?” replies the florist/photographer.

“It won’t.”

Florist/photographer’s head explodes...

It seems to me as though the meaning has rather evaporated from weddings in an increasingly secular world. And for the same reason I discounted all those potential partners that described themselves as ‘not taking life too seriously’ I’m repelled by every allusion to my wedding as a party. This is a serious occasion, and we are making a serious commitment. There will be fun and joy, certainly, but after deep thought, consideration and the honouring of an institution that I’m afraid is taken far too lightly these days.

So just as my proposal took place on land which has seen grave courage and honour, just as my list of desired characteristics in a partner seemed dull, including as it did words like ‘sensible’, ‘solvent’ and ‘steady’, so my wedding will be a time of reflection and sombre sincerity. Sombre sincerity – now there’s a theme!

FREELANCE DESIGNER/WEB DESIGNER Latest magazines, website and TV require a designer/web designer to manage the design of our multi-platform company. This includes being the main designer on our magazines with a high volume of pages to design each week, and helping to develop new designs on both print and online. Knowledge of motion graphics and design work on TV would be highly desirable.

Skills required include • Proficiency in CS5+ • QuarkXPress would be advantageous • Strong knowledge of WordPress and current web development languages; including HTML5, CSS3, PHP • Any knowledge of e-commerce websites would be beneficial Minimum experience 2 years Please apply by email to angi@thelatest.co.uk with a CV, examples of work and covering letter with details of current salary. Closing date: 28 March 2014

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latestPEOPLE

LATEST PEOPLE 05

Quaint Queer Weird Weddig Fair and Persian New Year at Rendezvous Casino Dancer Ziba

Dawn Gracie, Paul Roberts

Event organiser Jose Sadegh

Pics: Trevor Burdett

Sussex Falconry

Shadi Bassiri and friends

Sophie Lambert (Vagabond Couture model) & Darren Smith (Pyromaniacs Entertainer)

Leila and friends

Freya von Bulow (designer of the paper wedding dress) standing by Humphrey (The VW party bus from Wonder Dubs)

VIP Mayor Opening

Persian New Year Celebrations at Rendezvous Casino A great party atmosphere at Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina to celebrate the Persian New Year.

Guests were treated to Persian food, drink, music and dance to make the evening a great success.

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16 weeks apart Get your Free Consultation from Shadi Danin One of the top experts in the UK on stopping hair loss Call 01273 738409 now and ask for Shadi!

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Fatcakes

The Quaint Queer Weird Alternative Wedding Fair Quaint Queer Weird was buzzing on Saturday 15th March 2014 with over 400 attendees visiting the event at Brighton’s Corn Exchange. The Mayor of Brighton officially opened the fair to a 100 strong queue of eager couples and friends. Goodie bags were given to the first 100 through the door with gifts kindly donated from Electric Hair and Rituals. http://www.quaintqueerweird.com/

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06 LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news

Frank le Duc

TheVote Child protection, women priests and churches running out of money are all mission critical for new bishop

T

he Reverend Richard Jackson is riding into Brighton and Hove on his Harley Davidson on a mission to revive the area’s churches. The new Bishop of Lewes will be installed in May when he will take responsibility for supporting dozens of Church of England ministers and their parishioners.

They face a raft of challenges including – perhaps most pressing of all – financial survival. Not every church is in dire financial straits but many have had to rely on dwindling reserves to stay open. And the Diocese of Chichester – the division of the Church of England which includes Brighton and Hove – is also trying to balance its books.

While finance is not central to his job description, Mr Jackson, 53, will find it hard to avoid questions of money. He said that clergy and congregations could expect “an unfolding strategy”. He said: “A consultation is starting in the summer. There is no doubt there will be some hard decisions over the next couple of years. We want to keep worshipping communities and to keep vibrant churches open.”

Where congregations and incomes have fallen, some churches have closed. Others have been placed under the responsibility of a minister or team of ministers serving more than one church.

It is rare to see a more imaginative approach – as when a team from

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on the City Deal

I

’m delighted that after a huge amount of work with our neighbouring councils, local businesses, the Local Enterprise Partnership and national government; we’ve been given the go-ahead for a City Deal. We have won the resources to build on our city region’s strengths through the ‘Greater Brighton’ City Deal. Our partners include the University of Brighton and University of Sussex, plus companies investing in the area such as EON, American Express, Ricardo, and EDF.

Holy Trinity Brompton in London took over and revived St Peter’s in Brighton when closure looked likely.

Mr Jackson, a married father of three, is currently the mission renewal adviser and leader of the church growth team in the diocese.

His optimism reflects an optimism in some quarters of his patch which includes the whole of East Sussex including Brighton and Hove. It follows a dark period when issues such as child abuse brought

unwelcome headlines, court cases and critical official reports.

Mr Jackson said: “We are all only too aware of our historic failings with regard to safeguarding. We can’t forget about the past. The institutional failings are very clear from various reports. And there are survivors who need care. The senior team remain committed to offering the best pastoral care to those affected. We have an excellent team of professionals working on this on the diocesan staff to ensure that safeguarding is embedded in our culture.

“As Bishop Martin (the Bishop of Chichester Martin Warner) has said a number of times, ‘we want our diocese to be a place, not just where children feel safe, but are safe.’ I am personally committed to working closely with all of the statutory authorities to ensure that remains a foundation for all we do.”

Mr Jackson promised to be “unashamedly local”, saying: “My primary focus is going to be the priests and people of East Sussex.” And with something approaching masterful

understatement he said: “The area that I’m looking after is very diverse. I’m hoping to be a bishop for everybody.”

He was direct in addressing one topic that has long proved thorny for the church locally and further afield.

He said: “I will be ordaining women to the ministry. I’m very much looking forward to the first ordination of women priests by a serving bishop in the diocese in June.”

He stepped deftly around another tricky matter for the Anglican movement but one which is more relevant in Brighton and Hove than in many places – sexuality. Gay marriage and the sexuality of ministers have both attracted a great deal of attention.

He said that he would be listening to people’s views, adding: “Within the church in Brighton and throughout Sussex there are people and priests of different sexualities. It’s important to add though that the church welcomes everybody.” Given the warmth of the reception when his appointment was announced, the welcome runs both ways.

“There is no doubt there will be some hard decisions over the next couple of years”

The deal we’ve struck will bring over £170m of investment and 8,500 jobs to the city region over the medium term. This includes commitments from a range of public and private organisations to invest in environmental, digital and other business sectors.

The flagship development will be a £24 million investment to expand and upgrade one of the core sites for the city’s tech cluster, New England House. This alone will create nearly 900 new jobs.

Other plans agreed are a regional programme of business support, a new Central Research Laboratory at Preston Barracks; a ‘Digital Exchange’ to provide ultrafast broadband to

small businesses at affordable prices; the expansion of the successful ‘Fusebox’ start-up space for creative digital companies; plus clean and environmental technology centres at Newhaven and Shoreham, as well as flood defence funding for those sites.

We welcome the government’s willingness to devolve powers and funding to city regions. This flexibility means we will now see millions invested in green technologies, the creative and digital sector, and business support for companies across the city region, creating thousands of new decent local jobs.

The Greater Brighton City Deal will mean working together for our common interest as a region, whilst still cherishing the unique character of every member area. Our residents and businesses live and work across municipal boundaries – so working with our neighbours is essential to building on the success we’ve had in recent years, and to developing our growing reputation as an economic powerhouse.

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LATEST NEWS

Tim Ridgway’s

Latest News This week’s headlines from across the city

O

ne of the most improving secondary schools in the country – Hove Park – could be on the verge of becoming an academy. Derek Trimmer, headteacher at the school in Nevill Road, claimed the proposal is one option it was considering as it looked to improve the school further.

If it became an academy, school bosses would be freed from local authority control and have more independence over finances and what it taught.

Since the news was revealed exclusively on www.thelatest.co.uk last week, unions have said they would consider a city-wide strike to halt the plans.

With the city council's Green administration also being against academies in principle, this one is set to run and run.

Outsourcing Outsourcing Firms have got a bad reputation thanks to a succession of government failures over large IT contracts.

So it is quiet scepticism that greets news that Capita will spend three months helping health and social care chiefs work out how to provide better care for frail people in Brighton and Hove.

The aims include cutting the number of drug addicts, mental health patients and homeless people turning up at accident and emergency (A&E) at the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton.

They also include cutting the number of readmissions of frail people and reducing the level of bed-blocking.

Details of the three-month £38,000 contract were given at the Brighton and Hove City Council adult care and health committee.

The i360 saga rumbles on A fortnight ago, developer Marks Barfield behind the seafront tower thought they had reached the end of a long road when Brighton and Hove City Council agreed to a funding deal.

But now Valerie Paynter, of campaigning group Save Hove, has started a online petition calling on the Public Works Loan Board – the government body that will hand over £36 million – to refuse the council’s request for funding.

In just a few days, it has received more than 750 signatures.

With Ms Paynter leading the fight against the failed Gehry towers for the King Alfred site in Hove, Marks Barfield must be hoping that this is not the start of a long and protracted public campaign against the scheme.

Parking plans Plans to make parking free on Sundays throughout Brighton and Hove will be discussed in the council chamber – thanks to a forgotten political party.

Numbers of Liberal Democrat members in Brighton and Hove have fallen dramatically in recent years.

But one of those left – Jeremy Gale – has led a campaign to scrap the tariffs in Brighton and Hove City Council-owned car parks and on street bays on Sundays.

After months of campaigning, the petition now has more than 1,250 signatures – meaning it triggers a debate at a meeting of all 54

councillors on 27 March at Hove Town Hall.

The Lib Dems currently have no representation on the local authority so it will be up to Green, Conservative and Labour councillors, as well as the one independent member, to decide if any action is taken.

Eco shed Ever thought of getting out into the great outdoors to not only help yourself but others?

Well, the Moulsecoomb Forest Garden is looking for groups of between ten and 12 people to help build the walls of its new eco shed.

It will be used as a base for the group to continue its work in helping vulnerable adults and children learn skills which will help them into employment.

The previous building was burnt down by arsonists.

For more details email hello@seedybusiness.org or call 07988 837951.

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008_LS671_barecheek_Editorial 20/03/2014 15:46 Page 2

ONLY JOKING!

Bare Cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

I REMEMBER...

Mile Oak – these days it’s a thriving community with its own college, library, football team, and futuristic observatory, but what was it like way back when? 102 year-old resident Cranston Bellweather remembers...

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ow, prior to 1911 of course there was nothing beyond Portslade; I don't mean there was just countryside, or wasteland, or anything like that, I mean there was literally nothing there, just a sort of formless void, a white expanse of space. It was dangerous too; sometimes someone would get drunk and wander into it, and they’d never be heard from again.

Except sometimes, on long winter nights, you’d hear them crying. Brrr – fair gives me the collywobbles to think about it, it does.

Anyway, in 1911 the local authorities decided that having a formless, boiling void around wasn't a great advert for the area, so they had some ground and sky and things like that put in. One of the things they had put in was the famous Mile Oak Oak, from which the community gets its name. As its name suggests, the Mile Oak Oak was a mile high, making it the tallest tree in the universe. It was so tall that it was said you could see it from Italy, though I was in Italy after the war and I couldn’t see it so maybe that's a lot of cobblers.

Interestingly, it’s this tree that introduced the concept of the “Mile High Club” as back in the the ‘20s it became common for courting couples to climb up to its highest branches to do the business as it were.

In the early days of course, Mile Oak was mainly fields, with the odd dwelling, but in the ‘60s there was an increase in population so the authorities decided to build some proper housing. With the new houses came a new prosperity and an influx of new inhabitants; famous people who moved to Mile Oak in the 1970s and ‘80s included J. Paul Getty, Liza Minelli, Martin Scorsese, Andy Warhol, Joe Bugner, Reg Varney, Rusty Lee, Keith Floyd and so on. It was also about this time that it got taken over by the Yakuza, the notorious Japanese gangster organisation, who ran their operations from a small two-bedroom house on Hawthorn Way. They were known for their unstinting brutality, and their leader, one Fujimoto Masaki was particularly known for his dislike of having the honour of his family besmirched in any way, so I was a bit worried when he returned from work one day to find I'd broken into his house and was trying on his wife's underwear!

Musical instruments of yore

T

he local museum’s been having a bit of a clear-out lately.

Among the many interesting items the staff discovered deep in storage (where, for reasons yet unfathomable, all the best objects are kept), was a large collection of obsolete musical instruments...

The Trouser Snake – A distant cousin of the Serpent, in that it was a woodwind instrument with a cup mouthpiece, this instrument coiled round the leg and was popular with the small bands that typically played in country churches until the 1850s, when it was condemned in a sermon for profanity. Weber wrote for four such intruments in his Covent Garden fairy tale opera Oberon, but nowadays the parts are usually given to sandblaster.

The Dulcichord – In 1736, colourful instrument-maker Antonio Burgassi, seeing a gap in the market between the clavichord, harpsichord and clavinet, produced this proto fortepiano. The mechanisim involved neither plucking nor striking the strings, but goading them with sarcastic derision. This produced a sweet tone that Dr. Burney parised for its “rare delicacy and incomparable felicity.” Unfortunately this method of sound production proved unreliable and the instrument was notoriously difficult to keep in tune.

•atmospheric •affordable •available any night •you make the booking •we make it happen

In & Out In

• Braising steak • His ’n’ Hers towels • The Seven Pillars of Wisdom • Undermining chidren’s confidence • Putrifaction

Out

• Le Crunch • Laurens Van Der Post • ‘What’s the definition of...?’ jokes • Lapis Lazuli • Bobbies

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The Lanky Lucy – This 9’ tall Ottoman percussion instrument certainly looked impressive, bestrewn as it was with great tassles and medallions and covered with a canopy topped with a scimitar, and it was possibly for this reason that Beethoven included one in his opportunistic pot-boiler ‘Wellington’s Victory’. These days the part is generally omitted, as, so far as musicologists can tell, the Lanky Lucy was useless.

The Five-Valve Trumpet – Possibly the most complicated piece of

latest musicbar the place for parties!

plumbing since the Queen Mary, this convoluted construction, comprising more than 180’ of tubing, enabled the great Sir Harry Mortimer at the 1956 Brass Championships to play “Carnival of Venice” in 12.5624 seconds, breaking Donald Campbell's land speed record.

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Follow me: @MitchellnNixon

•birthdays •weddings •civil partnerships •office parties •business events •hen & stag nights •tell us what you want •we provide it all! call ruth on 01273 687171 or email: bookings@thelatest.co.uk www.thelatest.co.uk/musicbar

009_LS671_theatre royal_011_LS466_interview 21/03/2014 14:42 Page 3

THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON 09

True romance Howard Brenton’s Eternal Love comes alive on stage at the Theatre Royal Brighton

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Eight actors in the production, including the two leads, previously performed together in the highly successful 2012 UK tour of English Touring Theatre and Shakespeare’s Globe’s co-production of Anne Boleyn, which was named Best Touring Production at Theatre Awards UK in 2012.

e

With live music, a cast of 18, dynamic contemporary language and a stunning setting, the story of Abelard and Heloise bursts on to the stage. History is brought to life amid moments of highly entertaining fiery philosophical debate.

n

n t he ••oon the coco

E

nglish Touring Theatre, which is celebrating its 21st birthday throughout 2014, and the Globe Theatre on Tour have revived the critically acclaimed production of Howard Brenton’s Eternal Love. The play visits Theatre Royal Brighton from Tuesday 1 – Saturday 5 April.

Eternal Love is an epic story of love between passionate people tested by the times in which they live and those around them. At first the affair between teacher Abelard and brilliant student Heloise is full of lust, but soon transforms into an enduring love. As Abelard’s contentious views of the church lead to tragic consequences, Heloise defies expectations and bears his child out of wedlock.

h e c ov e n t th e c o v e r r

This production of Eternal Love marks the inaugural tour of the National Touring Group (NTG), a consortium of eight major venues across the UK which aims to bring high quality and ambitious theatre to areas of the country that fundamentally rely on touring for their arts provision.

latest

musicbar

the place for parties!

Atmospheric Affordable Available any night You book it We make it happen Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office parties Business events Hen & Stag nights Tell us what you want We provide it all

Call Ruth or Stella on

01273 687171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk

Eternal Love, Theatre Royal Brighton, Tuesday 1–Saturday 5 April 2014.

To book tickets: 0844 871 7650* www.atgtickets.com/brighton* *Subject to a booking fee

this week> Tues 25 Luke Concannon + Jimmy Davis 8pm £6/£8 door Wed 26 Tango Boot Camp Argentine Tango with TangoBootCamp 8-11.30pm £8 whole night/£5 OR £3.50 social dancing only/£3 Cabaret Bar Pecha Kucha Night Brighton 7.30pm £5/£3 students and over 60s Fri 28 Brighton Hellenic Nights present The George Kypreos Band 8.30pm £8/£6 students Cafe Bar Tango Boot Camp Argentine Tango with TangoBootCamp 9pm–1.30am £8 whole night/£5 Mon 31 Cafe Bar The Coal Porters THE COAL PORTERS were formed in the 1990s by ex-Long Ryder Sid Griffin. 8pm £12 Cabaret Bar Access To Music PM2 Charity Gig 7pm £3/£2.50 conc

www.latestmusicbar.co.uk 14 –17 manchester street Advance tickets from www.wegottickets.com

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011_LS671_interview_011_LS466_interview 20/03/2014 12:58 Page 2

L7 INTERVIEW

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King Hal Hal Cruttenden’s star is rising well, taking his well-spoken humour to Live At The Apollo, Mock The Week, Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow and more. Victoria Nangle finds out just how tough this Luvvie really is How the devil are you today?

“I’m my usual smiley psychotic self.”

I’m really chuffed that you’re coming to Brighton with your own show. Can you tell us briefly what we can expect from it?

“Jokes. Is that brief enough? Seriously though, it’s my best stand up to date. One hour and 50 minutes of hilarity with some very ill-informed social and political opinions thrown in for good measure.”

You come to Brighton quite a lot. Lucky us!

What’s your favourite Brighton story?

“I don’t really have a Brighton story. Does everyone have a story here? Dammit. When I think of Brighton I just think of lovely chilled out audiences who are a pleasure to entertain. You even voted for a Green Party MP – you total nutters.”

Your comedy creates that perfect storm of steely-eyed niceness. How do you maintain such a positive persona?

“I’m not that positive, I just smile a lot. It’s a tension smile like Tony Blair I suppose. This is one of the reasons I should never be allowed near political power.”

Without meaning to sound rude, you do have a remarkable name. What’s the oddest response or intro you’ve ever had to your marvellous remarkable name?

“I’m rather proud that Joan Rivers completely cocked up my name at the Montreal Festival Gala in 2008. I was on first and she was compere.

My snobby reaction to the mess she made of my name got me my first laugh. I gave her the correct pronunciation and said, ‘It’s Norman French’. Canadians love that kind of superior snottiness. But it was great to be mispronounced by a legend. I actually found out later my name isn’t Norman at all – it’s Anglo-Saxon. So I am scum after all. I should have changed it when I went into comedy but I was hoping the fact that my sister, Abigail Cruttenden, was quite a well known actress might get me more attention.

It didn’t. She’s blonde and beautiful and people never thought we were related.”

If you could have your own TV or radio show, what would you like it to be?

“I do have my own radio show coming out in the Autumn. It’s a sitcom called ‘Hal’ on Radio Four. It’s all about being middle aged and having a breakdown – for some reason people find this hilarious.”

What invention do you wish you could have invented?

“I wish I had a Time Machine and could travel back in time and tell my 18 year old self to stop arsing around and start doing stand up rather than leaving

“I’m rather proud that Joan Rivers completely cocked up my name” it until my late twenties. I also wish I could tell myself to find my wife at that age and marry her.

That would stop her having any other major relationships before our marriage and thus she wouldn’t be able to talk about ex-boyfriends with that glint in her eye that makes me jealous!”

What have you got planned for 2014?

“Well I am building a time machine but I’m not sure when it will be finished. The tour is taking up most of my attention at the moment with the hope that we’ll have a DVD out by Christmas. I’ll also be doing the radio sitcom, some panel shows – I’m

filming ‘Would I Lie to You’ next week – and hopefully some stand up slots on TV.” You seem like such a well brought up ‘luvvie’.

When was the last time you remember displaying any kind of bad manners?

“Piss off.”

Thank you very much indeed.

Hal Cruttenden: The Tough Luvvie Tour, Komedia, Thursday 3 April 2014, 8pm, £15, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton

012_LS671_celebcity_Celebcity 21/03/2014 13:14 Page 1

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CELEBCITY

SPONSORED BY Photo: David Howarth www.iamdhi.com

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Peter Andre’s double wedding, neon art at Signs of Light and Example at The Great Escape

STAND WITH SYRIA

Example and his wife Erin

STOP THE CLOCK!

We’ve just heard that the one and only Example will be gracing the city with his presence at this year’s Great Escape festival. The master of the live gig and orchestrator of the craziest mosh pit you’ll ever get stuck in will be playing The Dome on 8 May. We met Mr Elliot Gleave last year at the private view of Goldie’s art show and were absolutely charmed by the rapper see you in the mosh pit, Brighton!

BIG FAT WEDDINGS

News reaches us that showbiz work-horse and Brighton coffee shop owner Peter Andre will be having not one, but TWO wedding ceremonies when he gets hitched to his fiancé and babymama Emily MacDonagh. Pete has said he will be having a traditional English affair followed by a Big Fat Greek Wedding in his native Cyprus. It would be rude not to. Yamas, Peter!

L

EMMA & THE BIG SMOKE

ast week thousands of people around the world came together to hold a global vigil to mark the third anniversary of the crisis in Syria. In Trafalgar Square, a huge gathering of supporters – many of them children – watched as Nelson’s column was lit up with the message ‘Stand with Syria’ before being changed to show a light projection of Banksy’s iconic “girl with a red balloon”, which the artist had redesigned to feature a young Syrian refugee.

WITHSYRIA

It is with heavy heart that we bid a very fond farewell to the artist formerly known as ‘the littlest monkey’ – Emma Gilhooly, who has been with us for almost three years. A stalwart of the JBPR family, Emma could always be counted on for her awesome PR skills (front page of The Guardian anyone?) her eyebrow-raising outfits (pink hair, crop top, vertiginous heels), her tendency to burst into tears when she gets left out (big baby) and her unwavering affection for Zayn from 1D. EG, we salute you. Go forth and conquer the Big Smoke...

GET INK’D

The #WithSyria coalition is made up of 120 humanitarian and human rights groups from 24 countries, including Save the Children, Oxfam, Amnesty International, Hand in Hand for Syria and the International Rescue Committee. The campaign is calling for urgent action to ensure Syrians in need can access aid, and for the voices of ordinary Syrians to be heard and heeded in reconvened peace talks. Actor Idris Elba, a supporter of the campaign, commented, “It was important for me to support and lend my voice to this stunning animation that alongside Banksy’s new piece is part of the #WithSyria campaign. Ordinary Syrian civilians continue to pay the heaviest price in a conflict that has already wrecked millions of lives. Let's stand with Syria today.”

For more information, visit www.withsyria.com

Get yourselves down to Ink’d this week and have a good look at their latest opening, Signs of Light, which showcases a dazzling selection of artists working in neon and light, including Andy Doig, Carne Griffiths, Dan Baldwin, Grande Dame, Magnus Gjoen, Pure Evil and Tina Keane. Light boxes and neon galore – including a sofa, a washing line complete with smalls and a full alphabet – will transformed the gallery into a shiny ghetto grotto. Signs of Light runs until Monday 21 April. www.ink-d.co.uk Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

Follow me: latestcelebcity

Special Offer PIZZERIA RISTORANTE

www.donatello.co.uk tel 01273 775477

Italian house red or white wine (75cl bottle usually £11.95)

£6.95

PIZZERIA RISTORANTE

www.pinocchio.co.uk tel 01273 677676

with this voucher

1-3 Brighton Place Brighton BN1 1HJ

Valid at Donatello & Pinocchio 10% service will be added Valid Sunday - Friday until end March 2014 excluding Bank Holidays and Valentines Day One voucher per table.

Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer.

22 New Road Brighton BN1 1UF

013_LS671_hotlist_Hotlist 20/03/2014 11:47 Page 1

HOTLIST 13

L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Chaula’s Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting.

Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable.

Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99.

Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

Brighton Hen Tea & Treats

British & Modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele.

Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed.

Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

Indian Chaula’s Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere.

The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards.

The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton 01273 900 383, www.thechillipickle.com

The Chilli Pickle Canteen

The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indianinspired design, specially-commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches: with regional curries, homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams.

The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at http://thechillipicklecanteen.com 01273 900384

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte.

The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars

Chaula’s

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

The Chilli Pickle to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Thai Street Thai

Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food.

Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two-courses at £8.95 and three-courses at £10.95.

Street Thai, 01273 207444, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton BN1 1HD

Up to 50% off your food bill Table Pouncer

Table Pouncer has teamed up with Latest 7 to offer diners up to 50% off their food bill.

Register for free and take advantage of great savings. Participating restaurants change all the time, so check back and see whether your favourite is there. From Italian and Chinese to seafood and more, eating out has just got a lot more affordable. http://thelatest.co.uk/tablepouncer/

Outside Caterers Brighton Hen Tea & Treats

Brighton Hen Tea & Treats simply adore hosting afternoon tea parties with vintage fun filled inspired themed tea parties at £19.99 per person. Sip tea from elegant china teacups and eat freshly homemade treats baked by us, in vintage styled rooms. Be pampered, hire a hunky butler or enjoy a photoshoot. We deliver across Sussex and cater for all events like birthdays and weddings.

Special offer: Chief Hen goes FREE on any Themed Afternoon Tea. Visit www.brightonhenteaandtreats.co.uk Brighton Hen Tea & Treats: 01273 413829

014_LS671_food__food 19/03/2014 11:25 Page 1

14

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Excellent food and service, if madly overstyled, at The Gardeners Arms in Ardingly

Flaming good T

hrow road diversions into the equation and sat-nav is rendered sat-naff.

Our journey to Ardingly should have been a pleasant rural jaunt, but once we passed through the village of Lindfield under instruction from Sally Satnav, the charm begun to wear off. It wasn’t helped by the lack of a mobile signal with which to call The Gardeners Arms and inform them of our late arrival either. But we persevered, eventually ignoring her instructions and using instinct, we finally got there and only 20 minutes late.

Fortunately, we managed to get a call through so they were aware of our delay. Sadly, they had not got that our online booking was for three persons and not two, and they were rammed. No worries, they said, and found us a suitable place where we had plenty of space. The Gardeners Arms is a pretty old pub that has been respectfully enlarged and refurbished. We were pleased to see a decent range of ales and ciders, and the blackboard of specials certainly added to the fare offered on the full menu.

Somehow the journey had increased our appetite, perhaps Lindfield crosses a time zone and we did that three times, anyway, we all three fancied the full works. Beers, gin and ginger beer in hand we headed into the appealing menu.

Ms C spotted a baked camembert that took her fancy. I reckon it was meant for two but she chose it anyway and with only a little help from us she managed to do it justice, although it was plenty for two. It was spiked with thyme and garlic, wrapped in greaseproof paper and baked to an unctuous gooeyness with plenty of bread to dip in it and a decent chutney on the side.

Ms M has a thing about choosing vegetarian dishes even though she is an out and out omnivore. This time it paid off with a good, if slightly loose, red

pepper mousse, served again with good bread and a well dressed salad. I gave it a go and liked it, the sweet pepper flavour hitting the right spot.

I decided to start with an Asian duck salad, thinking it would be a light beginning for my choice of main. It was rather a large salad, crisp and Asian in style with a sweet honey dressing and lots of shredded Peking-style duck.

It was certainly big enough for a main course though and took some time to eat. Not a complaint, merely an observation.

Ms M moved on to duck breast with Dauphinoise potatoes and a side of cauliflower cheese. She loved it, good duck she declared if perhaps not as crisp a skin as she would have liked. She didn’t much like the spiced orange chutney on the side but Ms M did, so she polished that off.

Her dish of poussin and chips was simple but effective and came on a wooden board which she didn’t much like as she said she was losing out on the chicken juices. It did look good though.

I chose the venison shank pie with cauliflower cheese and red cabbage. Madly, mine also came on a wooden board in three separate containers, all on some fake newspaper. Here I started to worry. How was I meant to eat it? I really should have demanded a plate but the busy staff were working so hard, so I tucked in, taking a forkful from the pie, then the cauliflower and the cabbage in turn. It was a slow and laborious way to dine and pretty silly. Each part was excellent. The pie was generous, the pastry cooked on the meat as it should be, the red cabbage a good balance of sweet and sour with lots of butter too and the cauliflower cheese pretty perfect. It was the silly overstyled presentation that I disliked. Give me a plate please as pie has no place on a chopping board, after all, I did not want to instigate a tsunami of rich red wine gravy.

I was pretty full after that but my eyes are bigger than my belly, so I had two scoops of excellent ice cream. Ms C went to the specials board and had the apple and red berry crumble with custard that she said was first class. It was a big portion too!

Ms M chose the pudding that had fascinated us all evening as it sailed past our table. A raspberry ripple crème brûlée arrived in a cup and saucer and in flames. The sugar being brûléed en route by a shot of booze. It was clever, stunning to look at and delicious too, with three excellent langues de chat on the side.

Apart from the gimmicky presentation this was a great meal served in trencherman portions and for a sensible price, with three drinks each it came to around £33 a head which seemed more than fair. The service was exemplary too, friendly and polite and efficient – we just need to persuade them to ditch the silliness in presentation.

The Gardeners Arms Bar & Restaurant, Selsfield Road, Ardingly, West Sussex, RH17 6TJ, 01444 892328, http://gardenersarms.ardingly.co.uk

Follow me: latestandrew

City centre or out of town dining?

andrew@thelatest.co.uk

015_LS671_open_university_011_LS466_interview 21/03/2014 14:44 Page 1

THE OPEN UNIVERSITY

15

Master of Business Thinking of studying for an MBA? Then look no further than The Open University

I

n an article written for Business Week in 2008 Charles Handy said that you can’t learn management in a classroom. He claimed that “...the letters MBA should, if the schools were honest, stand for Master of Business Analysis.” However he was “particularly impressed” by The Open University Business School as the students are encouraged to relate theory to their situation which cements their learning in their own experience.

Teresa Bentley set up her own business after taking inspiration from an MBA from The Open University. “I was working in the city when I started my MBA but the MBA transformed my life and gave me a new direction and focus,” Teresa says. “I had already studied with the OU so I knew that distance learning worked for me but the OU MBA is far from being a mere correspondence course. There are opportunities to communicate with other students, meet at study groups, attend tutorials and residential schools and you get tremendous support from the tutors. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made and all thanks to the Open University.”

To find out about studying for an MBA with The Open University, which was recently named amongst the best in the world in the FT’s Online MBA Ranking, come along to Jubilee Library, Brighton on Saturday 12 April 2014, 12.30pm–4pm where you’ll be able to get advice on the best options for you.

For details visit www.open.ac.uk/events email R13-Marketing@open.ac.uk or call 0845 300 60 90

016_LS671_kay_comps_Social Diary 19/03/2014 11:25 Page 2

16

BRIGHTON WRITES

Andrew Kay

Sponsored by Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

In the frame A

ge creeps up on you in the cruelest of ways.

Slowly at first, little things that niggle and annoy, and then, as time moves on, those little niggles turn into annoyances.

I was in Holland for the most recent International Chef Exchange, filming for Latest TV, when the age thing struck again. The Hilton in The Hague is only two years old and extremely stylish and well run. My room was spectacular, with dual views across the local canal. But that word spectacular gives the key to the problem.

I woke early, drank a much needed glass of water, took the gout pill and headed for the bathroom and the shower. It was a great shower too, huge, wet room style with an enormous shower head and excellent temperature control.

Standing there in my chubbiness, try to eradicate that image from your mind reader, I basked in the delightful warmth of the cascading water, lapping up the soothing experience. It was great, truly soothing, and I could happily have stood there for a long time. But with time against me I knew that I needed to wash, shampoo and condition.

I reached for the toiletries on the shelf in search of the shampoo but there I hit a barrier. Stylish as the packaging was I could not determine which

“Stylish as the packaging was I could not determine which bottle was which” bottle was which. The type was tiny and, being in the shower, I had removed my specs.

Now this may not seem like such a problem to those of you with 20-20 vision, but for an ageing

crock like me it was something of a stumbling block, and one I had not encountered before.

I stumbled about in the wet wondering how to proceed. I tried smelling the contents but, nice as they were, they all smelled the same. I contemplated going to get my specs but realised that they were at the far side of my expansive room. In the end I assumed that the clear ones were soapy and the creamy one was a conditioner.

Once washed and out I retrieved my specs and discovered that I had shampooed with body wash and washed with shampoo. I don’t think it did my hair or my body any harm but it did make me want to write to the manufacturers to point out the problem for those of use who require optical assistance with our reading.

It was the first time that this had happened and I suppose it could be to do with the fact that I have new specs with slightly stronger lenses. I knew that I needed a change and I was delighted when by accident I happened upon The Specky Wren, a new opticians at the London Road entrance to the soon to be completed Open Market. There I found excellent advice and service and a pair of frames that I really liked for a price that was impressively affordable. The eye test was very thorough and being new the equipment was state-of-the-art. That scary thing that puffs air into your eye in a most unpleasant manner was not in evidence and in its place a much simpler and less aggressive device.

I left having placed my order and within a few days, far less than their estimate, they called to say that the spectacles were ready for collection.

I went along and they looked great in both senses of looking.

I’ve never had a problem with opticians, over the years I have used several here in the city and always had great service. So why change now?

Well, geography first, The Specky Wren is minutes from the office. Second, I liked the look of the place, liked the guys who ran it, liked the frames and liked the price. The place was not rammed with expensive so called ‘designer’ frames, but it did have the kind of frames that had a distinctly contemporary look about them. Happy? Yes, until I forget again and get in that blooming hotel shower.

1-2 Marshalls Row, Brighton, BN1 4JU 01273 911191, www.thespeckywren.co.uk

Follow me: @latestandrew

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

COMPETITIONS WIN TICKETS TO SEE POSTMAN PAT LIVE! IT’S SHOWTIME

Britain’s most famous postman is coming to Burgess Hill! And guess what – his black and white cat Jess will be there too. This is your chance to win a family ticket to this lively, funpacked performance of Postman Pat Live! It’s Showtime on 12 April. And that’s not all. The lucky winners will also get a money can’t buy meet ’n’ greet with Postman Pat himself – a once in a lifetime opportunity for little fans.

Starring alongside our favourite postie will of course be the much-loved Mrs Goggins, Ajay, Amy and Ted Glen, as featured in the TV programme. Audience members will even be invited to get involved and sing along to some brand new songs performed by the cast.

Postman Pat is the

longest running animated series on the BBC/UK TV, first airing in 1981 and sold to 85 countries around the world. Postman Pat even has his own Facebook page www.facebook.com/postmanpatofficial, Twitter account @postmanpat and website www.postmanpat.com.

To win this fantastic opportunity, all you have to do is tell us: What is the name of Postman Pat’s black and white cat?

WIN NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL FEEL GOOD CDS

Forget service station flowers, forget discounted chocolates and overpriced gift sets. This Mother’s Day, treat your mum to something she really wants: a feel good soundtrack to a beautiful spring! We’re offering five lucky winners a copy of Now That’s What I Call Feel Good – a compilation CD featuring three discs packed with the most uplifting songs of recent times.

It’s a great soundtrack for sunny road trips, dancing around the house or getting ready for a well-deserved evening out. You’ll find a great mix of pop, R’n’B, indie, and even a

smattering of power ballads thrown in for those windows-down moments in the car.

Enjoy everything from ’90s throwback S Club 7 and Steps, to Stereophonics, Coldplay and The Zutons. There’s a classic from Journey in there, plus any mum’s favourite – ‘It’s Raining Men’ by The Weather Girls. Now that’s what I call the perfect Mother’s Day present...

For your chance to win, simply tell us: What is the name of the track by The Weather Girls featured on the album?

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 7 April 2014.

017_LS671_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 19/03/2014 16:19 Page 3

STARS | TV

STARS

17

A sneak preview of shows from the Latest TV team, online now at www.thelatest.tv & coming soon to Channel 8

With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

You could turn the tables on an elegant adversary by taking a leaf out of your opposite sign Libra’s book. Charm will redress the balance rather than overt aggression. Your labido is runnng high at the moment so remember to curb your enthusiasm, you don’t want to mislead anyone.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Venus your ruler is transiting the friendliest sign of the zodiac, time to get out there and be social. There’s only so long a person should neglect their friends. Have some fun, break the mould and life will open up in an exciting way.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

With the devastatingly attractive magnet that is Mars in your romantic house, it’s time to get out there and trot the light fantastic! Venus might be in a light-hearted mood while transiting the sphere of your beliefs, even so, this is not the time to be superficial.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

Fortunate Jupiter is going to bring you a lucky break in a rather backhanded way. You can expect the unexpected with Uranus in the mix and don’t let someone brash ruffle your emotional feathers, because underneath, they’re secretly soft on you.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

A communication that you get in a secluded place might be slightly disruptive but it could have a very positive effect on your professional and personal life. Amoral Lilith plays with the boundaries of your sexuality so only go for it, if you mean it.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

With the Moons recent collusion with Pluto seems to have put your love life on a very mystical or occult level. Take a breath, there’s no need to think in order to be emotionally intense.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

Once in a blue moon your love life and partnerships can go through a process of intense renewal, however invigorating it is to have Mars in your sign, remember it’s going retrograde, so you’re still going over old ground.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

No need to be so down in the mouth, Saturn is just bringing you a sense of realism. With Neptune and Mercury conjunct in lyrical and imaginative Pisces, you’re really going to have the gift of the romantic gab.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

Recently a kinky element in your love life might have brought more than a smile to your face, but now it’s time to take off those rose tinted glasses and get real! Is it just the saps rising or do you really want to commit to such a bohemian or eccentric affair?

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Avoid power struggles and swallow your pride, of course a partner has your best interests at heart. They can help you expand your horizons both romantically or professionally as long as you don’t let your guilt tripping or ego get in the way.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

With Venus in your sign making a flirtatious relationship to Mars, ooh la la, your labido could be buzzing at an all time high. Enjoy the moments but keep a third eye on the future as Uranus is going to teach you how to communicate in a radically different way.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

A healing conversation that happens on a very spiritual level could help shift a block you’ve had about your own effectiveness. You are a hero in your own strange way. Maybe you’ve got to sing it rather than say it, but people are going to get the message anyway.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

A taster

Behind the scenes of Latest TV sport with Jay Legate

A

few years ago, if you’d suggested that Wembley would be filled by people wanting to see women play football you’d probably be laughed at.

But, fresh from the success of Team GB at the London Olympics, the numbers playing the beautiful game is rocketing.

While the increasingly high-profile the sport is getting on national television is helping spread the word, it is locally that the biggest strides are being made.

Keen to check it out, I headed down to the latest Albion in the Community (AITC) session designed to get more girls interested in the game. I was not alone.

England defender Hannah Blundell was at Blatchington Mill School in Hove to talk to those training. Part of the purpose was to build publicity ahead of England's game against Montenegro at The Amex stadium next month.

But the Chelsea Ladies player also provided the girls with a strong role model they could identify with – while being candid in discussing the sacrifices she’s made to get where she is.

She told Latest Sport: “It’s taken pretty much all my life, we train every day, sometimes double sessions. “I don’t really have much of a social life, with working as well, but it’s what I wanted to do, so I’m happy to do it.”

As part of the session, the girls were able to ask her about their journey and it was

“The England defender was candid in discussing the sacrifices she’s made” enlightening to hear the impact their presence had on the class.

Eleven-year-old Isla Murton told us: “I want to play for England, I just want to play football professionally.”

The ideal legacy of England’s game with Montenegro is to have more girls playing the game and to increase the number of sessions.

Kim Stenning is part of the coaching set up at AITC and says the desire is there: “We deliver to 21 schools a week, just for girls. So really we want to get the girls going!”

As well as ongoing sessions, AITC is also running a ‘taster session’ at St Joseph’s Catholic Primary School in Davey Drive, Brighton, on Thursday 27 March.

For more details, check out www.thelatest.co.uk and www.thelatest.tv

Follow me: LatestTVBtn

018_LS671_bookings_editorial 21/03/2014 09:34 Page 1

18

WHAT’S ON MUSIC CHART, REVIEWS&BOOKINGS

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

8

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20

Black Rooster Black Shag are number one again!

Listen online to get your favourite to the top spot and upload your music.

1 Black Rooster Black Shag Run Baby 2 The Black Fields The Fighter 3 tenek State Of Mind 4 Trilby Valentine 5 Black Rooster Black Shag Amsterdam 6 OSARO/AURELIO ESTEBAN LOVING YOU IS EVERYTHING 7 ElectroMud Oh Olivia 8 ULTRALITES Sweet Ghost ft. Gemma Vaz 9 Pete Gioconda Lazybones 10 Pete Gioconda We Are Real 11 matthew the oxx the river 12 matthew the oxx the boy inside the bubble 13 Pete Gioconda The Time of Great Waste 14 The Mice The Sex Shop 15 Death Ape Disco Grinding Down The Sun 16 Izzy Beautiful 17 The Last Cry Rebekka 18 Vortex Generator Water Bleeding 19 Kings Of The Wild Front Ear The Healer 20 The Dead Reds Stand Up SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

L7 what’s on

Under review

Bookings

GREAT SCOT!

KEVIN ELDON & SOME COLLEAGUES

FRANZ FERDINAND Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 17 March 2014 ✪✪✪✪✪

BOAT BENEFIT ZINCAR

lthough they might have lost their freshness in the British guitar scene, the Scottish indie band are still writing solid pop songs and putting on a great show. Some of the taut newer material sounded a bit more spirited than the older songs in fact. The light design was impressive and theatrical, well suited to the large stage, and the quartet all exuded charisma and confidence. The whole affair was spiky mainstream fun, filled with distinctive twangy guitar work, and ‘This Fire’ provided a gutsy finale, raising the volume and the atmosphere. The set would have perhaps been more memorable if they were as raucous earlier in the set however.

Joe Fuller

Brightohelm Church & Community Centre, 17 May 2014, 1.30pm, £12/10, 01273 917272, boxoffice.brightonfringe.org Ireland’s OCD cuddly teddy bear, Christian Talbot, hosts an afternoon of stand-up comedy in aid of The Neuro Foundation featuring comedy legend Kevin Eldon, 2013 Edinburgh Comedy Best Newcomer John Hearn, award-winning Ed Aczel, Pete Johansson and Benny Boot.

Brighton Spiegeltent, 23 May 2014,9pm, £15, 01273 917272, boxoffice.brightonfringe.org Take a trip back to Brighton in the ’90s as the legendary anarchic art school cabaret Zincbar returns for one night only. Founded and compered by Adrian Bunting, who died last year, this special one night only event has special guests alongside some original ‘turns’.

Followed by a ’90s club night from the original club DJ, Ralph.

CAITLIN MORAN – LIVE

Theatre Royal Brighton, 13 July 2014, £22.90, 0844 871 7627, www.atgtickets.com In order to get out of doing her fair share of the childcare, Caitlin Moran is coming to your town, insisting the bar stay open late, and talking about men, women, Sherlock, David Bowie, big hair, feminism, welfare, that amazing heavy-metal kid on Gogglebox who never says anything, and the Revolution.

ONCE IN A LIFETIME

Brighton Centre, 28 June 2014, £42.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk Featuring US sensations The Osmonds, the iconic David Essex, Showaddywaddy and Les Mckeown’s Legendary Bay City Rollers. Bring along your dancing shoes!

A

REBECCA FERGUSON

From shy, unassuming pop contestant to a classy self-assured diva, Ms Rebecca Ferguson and her band delivered songs from her new album ‘Freedom’ with great conviction and elegance. From self-empowering songs such as ‘You’re Too Good To Lose’ to ‘I Hope’ a soulful wish for an ex to find happiness. Her unique covers of Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’ and Prince’s ‘Raspberry Beret’ had fans dancing in the aisles. Her Scouser personality shone through as she shared snippets of her life with her captivated audience between songs. A true talent and rising star.

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 19 March 2014 ✪✪✪✪ Lesley Lawrence

OFF THE CUFF

Improvised comedy proposes a spontaneous mix of one-night-only entertainment. Every unrehearsed scene, idea and joke can either victoriously hit or brutally miss.

The success of which is entirely down to the fusion of creative minds on stage. Luckily Off The Cuff exceeded in witty, exciting and hilarious performance ideas, entirely drawn from the audience.

Clearly well experienced in triumphing over a crowd, the comedians won our affections offering an evening of authentic laugher through unique acts, clever songs and unconventional mime.

Upstairs at the Three and Ten, 15 March 2014 ✪✪✪✪ Jaynie Ralph

>CLUB HIGHLIGHTS< Don’t miss our pick of Brighton after dark GIRLS ON TOP A night just for gay girls and their buds comes to Revenge every Thursday, featuring thumping party anthems guaranteed to get you up and dancing all night long. The all female DJ line up includes DJ Missy B and DJ Alpha. Oh, and don't miss the 100 free shots staff are giving away on the hour, every hour!

Revenge, Thurs 27 March, 10.30, free before 11.30pm

THE ITCH On the last Saturday of every month, one of Brighton's best-loved live music hubs prepares to blast pure, primitive rocking beats from the '50s and '60s right up until the wee hours. Enjoy great vibes directly underneath Brighton Railway Station. And the cherry on top?

It's totally free!

Green Door Store, Sat 29 March, 11pm, free

KIKI BONGO Shake and shimmy your way to the front of this Latino style party and enjoy an energetic night of hiphop, rhythm and blues and party mashups. Grab a shot of tequila and your coolest shades to really get in that steamy beach mood.

Wah Kiki, Friday 28 March, 11pm, ladies free

019_LS671_stage_editorial 21/03/2014 16:09 Page 2 M Foreste

WHAT’S ON STAGE Photo: Karl Lagerfeld

L7 what’s on

actors have given us. Everett’s Wilde, like his Henry Higgins, showed that a role like the embittered Salieri is surely within his grasp.

Rupert Everett plays Salieri in Peter Shaffer’s production of Amadeus

STAGE: CHICHESTER’S FESTIVAL EXCITEMENT A star-studded new season of top performances

E

Oscar Wilde in a production that saw the actor in a role that truly exploited his talent. Here was a Wilde debased and exhausted by his trials; not the usual quipping eccentric genius that so many

Imelda Staunton

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Twelfth Night

Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne 25 – 29 March Box office 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk End of the Beginning The New Venture, Brighton 21 – 29 March Box office 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk

A celebration of Peter Shaffer’s work will be at the heart of the season, which also features Black Comedy and a host of special events.

Three world premieres will also reveal undiscovered histories through compelling dramas: Pitcairn by Richard Bean, Pressure

by David Haig and Taken At Midnight by Mark Hayhurst.

And there are two new adaptations to round out the season: Miss Julie by Rebecca Lenkiewicz and The Hundred and One Dalmatians by Bryony Lavery.

Of course we have all come to expect great Broadway musicals from the CFT season and this year, to mark Festival Theatre reopening, we will not be disappointed.

Guys And Dolls will be directed by Gordon Greenberg, choreographed

by Carlos Acosta, who are both

For Their Own Good Studio Theatre, Brighton Dome, Fri 28 March Box office 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org The Dishwashers Theatre Royal Brighton, Until Sat 29 March Box office 0844 871 7627 www.atgtickets.com

Photo: Catherine Ashmore

ach year the announcement of Chichester Festival Theatre’s programme is greeted with much excitement but this year will be particularly special as it sees the re-opening of the main auditorium after a £22 million refurbishment.

The major improvements to the Grade II* listed building will greatly enhance the experience of audiences, actors and creative teams visiting the Festival Theatre.

With a transformed auditorium, increased seating capacity of 1,300, more spacious foyer areas with new cafés, bars and outdoor terraces, as well as improved and expanded artist facilities, Chichester Festival Theatre’s high artistic reputation will now be matched by world-class spaces.

The first Festival Theatre production will be Peter Shaffer’s Amadeus directed by Jonathan Church with Rupert Everett as Salieri. Everett recently played

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES Photo: Magnus Hastings

Lara Pulver

19

making their Chichester debuts. The incredible Imelda Stauntion returns after her breathtaking performance as Mrs Lovett in CFT’s Sweeney Todd in 2012. This year she takes on the demanding role of Mama Rose in Gypsy which will be directed by Jonathan Kent, choreographed by CFT regular, the talented Stephen Mearand joined on stage by Lara Pulver as Louise and Kevin Whately as Herbie.

Other leading actors taking part in Festival 2014 include Lynda Baron, Rosalie Craig, Clare Foster, David Haig, Dervla Kirwan, Chris Larkin, Jamie Parker, Peter Polycarpou, Patricia Routledge, Malcolm Sinclair, Sophie Thompson, Zoë Wanamaker and Penelope Wilton, making this celebratory season a truly star studded one.

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020_021_LS671_previews DPS_editorial 19/03/2014 16:37 Page 1

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Prisoners

WHAT’S ON COMEDY&FILM, ART&EVENTS

COMEDY: MARK THOMAS INTERVIEW Mark Thomas has been undermining the status quo in a self-set dare of 100 Acts Of Minor Dissent. Victoria Nangle finds out more How are you doing today?

“Doing quite well thank you, first gig back at the tour coal face tonight and looking forward to it, spent the day doing interviews and sorting out ‘acts’ for the rest of the week.”

How far through the 100 Acts Of Minor Dissent are you at the moment?

“Over 50. So a number of them done but to be honest I am behind schedule.”

thing I can say is that I enjoyed organising the pro-gay stand-up comedy gig in the street outside the Russian Consulate in Edinburgh and am thinking of doing another street gig in Edinburgh this year too.”

What's surprised you the most about this remarkable project?

“How much work it is. But how much I love doing this... Some people have suggested that if I didn't get my kicks through this stuff I would

either be a gangster or end up dead in a bizarre auto erotic incident (which is way more likely than gangster).”

Do you think that we, as a society, acquiesce too quickly to constrictions put upon us, without enough questions?

“People often ask me if I am allowed to do whatever it is I am doing or proposing to do. I have always thought the presumption should be we are allowed to do it until we are told not to. I think in this case it is the rest who are out of step. We should always assume that it is our country, our government and our rights, once you have that in perspective life becomes a lot more bearable.”

What question should be asked more often?

“Where's the money?”

What’s your ‘process’ when you write stand-up?

“I tend to gig at little venues in London and build a bit line by line... I try to add or take away a bit each day...”

What is the funniest thing to do for a couple of hours outside of a theatre/venue space?

“PTA barn dance, painkillers and Guinness.”

I love the subversion of the 'minor' acts. Are there any that you've considered and had to reject due to your time and deadline restrictions (May 2014)?

“Yes. I was considering trying to bring Chris Grayling to court over his expenses, using a private prosecution. I thought it would be quite fun to bring the Justice Minister to court during a time of cuts in legal aid.

But it is a lot of effort... though come to think of it... f*** it I might still give this a go.”

Which book should everyone read at least once?

“The Grapes of Wrath.”

What are your plans for 2014 once you've come to the end of your 100 Acts Of Minor Dissent?

“I have a new show for Edinburgh, which is another theatre show picking up from where Bravo Figaro left off.”

Mark Thomas: 100 Acts Of Minor Dissent, The Old Market, Wednesday 26 March 2014, 8pm, £15, 01273 201800, www.theoldmarket.com

Are there any that you’ve just enjoyed so much you’re tempted to revisit and repeat them at a later date?

“Lots but you will have to come and see the show. I guess the one

Follow me: latestvicky

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COMEDY: MILES JUPP Actor, writer and comedian Miles Jupp (BBC R4’s In And Out Of The Kitchen, Rev, Balamory) discusses all sorts of day to day life issues in his return to stand up.

Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, Tues 25 Mar 2014, 8pm, £16 COMEDY: NORMAN LOVETT – OLD AND NEW The stand-up legend and Red Dwarf star Norman Lovett returns with his show ‘Old and New’ with the continuation of The Sugababes debate amongst many more subjects.

Caroline Of Brunswick, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 8pm, £10 EVENTS: CHOCOLATE FESTIVAL If you're on Lent, close your eyes now. The Chocolate Festival is coming to Brighton, inviting visitors to indulge their senses and thrill their taste buds with chocolatethemed events including the Brownie Trail, the Cocoa Spa and the Tasting Lounge. Mmmm.

Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, Sat 29 and Sun 30 Mar, 10am-6pm, £5 EVENT: VEGFEST Vegans rejoice! This is an all-day festival showcasing delicious vegan food, sumptuous body care products, clothes, accessories and gifts across 135 stalls. Fill up on all the events on offer, including cookery classes, ‘beauty without cruelty’ workshops and free nutritional advice for all.

Hove Centre, Sat 29 Mar, £2 (children free) FILM: CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (PG) Dir: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo Even if you’re not a Marvel comics mega-fan, you’ll enjoy this sequel to The First Avenger simply for its gripping battle scenes, special effects and of course Scarlet Johansen kicking ass in a catsuit.

This time our superheroes become entangled in a mystery that could put the whole world in danger.

Captain America, the Black Widow and new recruit the Falcon go head

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

Brighton's very own TV channel is coming to Channel 8. Launch date: 2014

020_021_LS671_previews DPS_editorial 21/03/2014 16:18 Page 2

Prisoners

Maggie Claringbould King Creosote

Lone Survivor

WHAT’S ON MUSIC&FILM, ART&EVENTS to head with a powerful adversary – the Winter Soldier.

Released Fri 28 March Showing at Odean, Cineworld and Dukes @ Komedia FILM: THE LEGEND OF HERCULES (12A) Dir Renny Harlin Our favourite Greek hero returns to the big screen – this time in full 3D glory. There’s swords, sandals and treacherous stepfathers all over the show in this extraordinary tale of courage and strength. Hercules (played by Twilight hunk Kellan Lutz) must escape from slavery and embark on an epic journey to fight for his rightful kingdom. But can this young demigod survive bloody battles and gladiator-arena death matches, or will his human side get the better of him?

Released Fri 28 March Showing at Odean, Cineworld ART: INTO THE BLUE An exploration of all things blue, featuring objects from the Royal Pavilion and Museums own collections, Into the Blue is a journey of discovery in science, art and history. Using the blue objects as a starting point, you will explore themes inspired by our Natural Science and Art collections and learn many weird and wonderful facts along the way.

Hove Museum & Art Gallery, New Church Road, 03000 290900.

Until August 2014 ART: THE HISTORY OF BRIGHTON BEACH On 22 July 1736 the Reverend William Clarke and his wife were the first recorded visitors to Brighton for leisure and health – they wrote to a friend that: ‘We are now sunning ourselves upon the beach at Brighthelmstone’. This permanent exhibition explores

three elements of Brighton beach – swimming and Brighton Swimming Club, Punch and Judy shows and the once wonderful but now derelict West Pier.

Brighton Fishing Museum, 201 King's Road, 01273 723064.

MUSIC: O’HOOLEY & TIDOW Nominated for the Best Duo Award at this year’s Radio 2 Folk Awards, the rather unconventional sounding Belinda O’Hooley and Heidi Tidow play this intimate pub in support of new album The Hum, a bold and adventurously poetic work (with dashes of humour) that features O'Hooley’s piano and accordion playing, their earthy voices, and the excellent production work of Gerry Diver, who was also responsible for Sam Lee’s A Ground of its Own. Elephant & Castle, Lewes,Fri 28 Mar, 7.30pm, £9/8 MUSIC: COLLECTRESS With a collective biography of collaborations which includes the likes of Bat For Lashes, Patrick Wolf, Philip Selway (Radiohead) and Penguin Café Orchestra, the four members of C O L L E C T R E S S (two of whom are Brighton based) have come together to craft something that sits somewhere in-between the Elysian Quartet and Philip Glass – experimental, minimalist chamber music, with found samples mixed with traditional instrumentation.

With Mary Hampton, Joanna Burke and Joe Watson.

Little St.Peter's Church, Sun 30 Mar, £5, 5pm For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

Listings

MUSIC: CASE HARDIN & THE DREAMING SPIRES Homegrown Americana music keeps on keeping on...

O

xford based The Dreaming Spires’ debut long player Brothers In Brooklyn was released on Clubhouse in 2012, to some resoundingly positive reviews, with Q magazine calling it the most thrilling country rock debut since Big Star.

Comparisons with the aforementioned Big Star as well as Tom Petty, The Byrds and even The Replacements abound, and there is a retro rawness to the sound, but this is no slavish copycat band – much like the much-loved Teenage Fanclub, they doff their cap here and there, but the reality is that they love their melodies, and place them in the here and now as so many wonderful alt-country, Americana and folk-based acts are doing nowadays.

Ultimately, it is feel-good music, played with tremendous spirit.

Case Hardin is also on the superlative Clubhouse label, and fronted by the masterful storytelling of Pete Gow, this revolving band has produced another excellent album in the form of PM, a work that it is more downbeat than its two predecessors, but which translates the power of their live shows onto record more expertly. More keyboard-led than previous Case Hardin albums, a melancholy mood pervades throughout, reminiscent of the more ballady side of Neil Young, with splashes of The Waterboys, Jackson Browne Tom Waits and Willy Vlautin here and there.

Gow’s sparse yet passionate songs are largely filled with dignified losers, and those down on their luck, but often where hope outshines despair. Once you realise that Gow's other life is that of a war correspondent for CBS News, any cynical potshots that may be fired towards him regarding authenticity, can easily be brushed aside – he’s witnessed first-hand plenty of strife and broken dreams.

Gow says that producing news pieces and performing music makes him a better storyteller and better at both. “They are both short form, both concise,” he says. The two-minute news post is like a song, you put your best foot forward, and hit them hard. Best lines at the top, and striking imagery.The parallels are very similar.”

He spent seven years in Baghdad, and it was while he was there that he would spend downtime writing songs. He was also in Tripoli when rebel soldiers stormed Gaddafi’s compound. Although these experiences do inform his work here and there, the songs are mainly informed about more close-to-home matters: “We’re much happier about playing songs about woman who have done terrible things to me, about drinking too much, about having too much fun and getting into trouble,” albeit with a smile.

Palmeira, Friday 28 March, 8pm, £8

Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

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022_LS671_brightonafterdark_editorial 19/03/2014 11:27 Page 2

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WHAT’S ON CLUBS & GIGS

L7 BRIGHTON NOISE

SADE ALI CONSIDERS OLDER PEOPLE IN CLUBS

D

o you think clubbing at 57 is normal? Well, according to my mum it is extremely normal. She has been shaking a leg down The Volks every Monday night for over 20 years!

And when I say shaking a leg I literally mean putting her leg up on the barrier by the DJ booth and wining!

A lot of people frown upon old people clubbing and make jokes about them being ‘past it’ and ‘embarrassing’. I say different.

Most older people I meet in clubs are great. They know how to dance, they know how to drink and more importantly they really do know how to party. Over the years even my mum has grown a reputation for being the queen of The Volks and acquiring the nickname ‘Mama Africa’ due to the countless nights of reggae and dutty wining! I am sure most of you have also seen the old guy in Oceana who dresses as Michael Jackson and dances like him too, equipped with the one white glove and shiny black and white shoes. I would be lying if I said he couldn’t dance - but he does occasionally make me laugh, especially when he busts out ‘the robot’. So putting my mum and ‘Jacko’ to the side for a minute I would like to ask – when will I give up the nightlife myself? And then I think: never! If someone told me I had to stop going out at a certain age, I think I would be quite offended and go out anyway. I don’t think there should be a limit as to the age you should stop raving, in fact I think more older people should go out and have fun just like my mum does. It definitely has kept her youthful and happy. To this day I still don’t know many people who can out do her on the dancefloor!

So all the golden oldies get your glad rags on and ‘go paint the town red’, but please do not actually use that phrase as it is more dated than you think and said out loud is quite cringeworthy! Although it’s great for you to go out, some of your old-fashioned ways should be left at home, ‘grandad wedding dancing’ being one of them! Also you do not need to try and dress like the younger generation, somehow a granny in batty riders and a crop top is not what Brighton wants to see. Stay classy!

Alastair Reid on the week’s best gigs

P

romoters Melting Vinyl have been working somewhat of a residency at Komedia of late, bringing some of the world's most troubled and interesting talent to the North Laine on a weekly basis. This week is not different. It's been four years since Polar Bear’s last album Peepers, and nearly ten since their Mercury Music Prize nomination - but their jazzelectronica crossover continues apace in the live show, a band that doesn’t need to record to keep its creative juices flowing. Expect an experimental patchwork of styles from the quintet on Wednesday night, weaving sax lines and double bass around skittering rhythms.

The curiously named Deaf From Behind are heading the latest Brighton Rocks event at Sticky Mike’s on Friday with their stoner, desert rock, supported by a variety of South Coast rock bands in The Subliminals, River Becomes Ocean and Rickyfitts, so check them out if fresh faces, floppy hair tattoos and guitars are your bag.

Sticky Mike's is a good shout on Saturday as well, with a little more thought and sensitivity goes into the indie-rock of Dark Horses, supported by the Querrelles and Riddles.

Back at Komedia on Sunday, two of Brighton's best young acts, both endearing and disarming, support RM Hubbert's MYYTHS flamenco majesty. Opening the show are Grasshopper, a disgracefully youthful four-piece who, despite looking like they are still a few years off being allowed entry to Brighton’s nightlife, write authentic and accomplished ‘80s post-punk as if they had been hanging backstage with Bauhaus or Talking Heads the first time around. Next up are MYYTHS, one half of FVNERALS, a deeply dark duo who scratched and scraped a debut record of terrifying ambience, released in January. Guitars and piano drown in a dank pool of reverb and haunting vocals, drifting towards witch house without getting lost in the electronic labyrinth that can sometimes hamstring the genre. Instead, MYYTHS let their instrumentation do the work, with production sounding natural rather than overbearing and blah blah just go see them. RM Hubbert was kicking around with Franz Ferdinand’s Alex Kapranos in the ‘90s and has been an important player in the Glasgow music scene ever since. Now on his third album of flamencobased acoustica, Breaks & Bone is in fact the first in which he sings and has been garnering all-round positive reviews since its release last September.

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023_LSS671_TV_tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 19/03/2014 12:32 Page 1

Tuesday 25 Lambing Live BBC2, 8pm A major event in the rural calendar, Kate Humble and Adam Henson broadcast live from a sheep farm in Wales to capture the incredible life and death drama as it happens. Kate has spent the last six months learning the skills she needs to become a shepherd, while Adam has been exploring the secret life of sheep.

The Missing Channel 4, 10pm A loss is a wound to any family, and this documentary looks at the repercussions on three families from the disappearance of a close one – vanished without a trace. Stranded in limbo with no closure and a gaping absence, this programme looks at the extraordinary lengths people will go to hang on to hope.

Hair BBC3, 10pm It’s the semi-finals of this ‘hairraising’ competition. Time to get to the root of who the real contenders are. Who is adaptable and who is dye in the wool set on sticking to one style or era over the rest? Alright, we’ll stop with the puns. This is pretty visually impressive though, and utterly engaging.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 More Creatures Great And Small 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless

6.25am Homes Under The Hammer 7.25 Mountain 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 Great British Garden Revival 10.05 Great British Railway Journeys 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 The Super League Show 1.45 Coast 1.55 South Africa Walks 2.25 Himalaya With Michael Palin 3.25 Cagney And Lacey 4.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Dot’s friends are wary, but do they have cause for concern?

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City An attractive new face on AAU catches Harry’s eye, but this time he may just have met his match. On Keller Arthur still has doubts about Dominic’s good character, whilst on Darwin Jac is forced to endure another day of Bonnie and Jonny’s endless wedding plans.

9.00 Shetland Crime drama set on the remote Scottish islands. When an old acquaintance of Detective Inspector Jimmy Perez dies in a suspicious car accident on the island, he wonders whether his journalist friend had uncovered a story that cost him his life.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Keeping Britain Safe 24/7 The series following the everyday heroes who keep Britain safe, battling the unexpected challenges that unfold with each passing season.

11.35 Swansea: Living On The Streets Hard-hitting documentary series following the day-to-day life of homeless people in Swansea.

12.05am Weatherview 12.10 News

6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 The Voice: Louder On Two Zoe Ball gives exclusive access to behind the scenes at The Voice UK. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques experts travel across the UK searching for treasures that will make the most profit at auction.

8.00 Lambing Live See highlights.

9.00 The Great British Sewing Bee Claudia Winkleman presents the sewing contest. The five home sewers go back in time for the quarter final. Patrick Grant of Savile Row and sewing teacher May Martin have tracked down an original pattern from the 1930s to surprise the sewers with.

10.00 Savion Glover – Happy Feet Morgan Quaintance visits AfricanAmerican dance artist Savion Glover in his hometown of Newark, New Jersey, to discover more about the renowned tap dancer’s life, work and art. Savion Glover is a Broadway prodigy and global star who strives to make tap dance relevant to new generations.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 A Very British Renaissance 12.20am Sign Zone: Royal Cousins At War 5.00 Children Of World War II 5.30 History Hunt 5.55 Wonders Of Nature: Damselfly – Danger/Safety

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Rhona is angry Marlon will not allow Leo to see his sister.

7.30 River Monsters On the Canadian-US border lies a vast and brooding lake that hides a dark history. Recently something has risen up from the depths to attack swimmers and there are stories of an invasion of primordial bloodsuckers.

8.00 Midsomer Murders When convicted murderer Grady Felton returns to the village where he killed a boy years earlier, his arrival is met with anger from the locals. Soon afterwards, a barrister is killed in Midsomer and suspicion falls on Grady. Grady has a solid alibi, but Barnaby suspects that he is working with an accomplice - until Grady himself is targeted in an arson attack.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Didier Drogba: Sports Life Stories The sports documentary looks at the life and career of the the former Chelsea and Ivory Coast footballing legend Didier Drogba.

11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Series taking a look behind the scenes at Steve and Terri Irwin’s Australia Zoo. 12.00am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Coach Trip 12.35 River Cottage Bites 12.50 FILM: On The Fiddle (1961) 2.40 Countdown 3.30 Deal Or No Deal 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste realises the impact of Peri’s discovery.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Kirstie’s Best Of Both Worlds Property series with Kirstie Allsopp.

Kirstie meets Gary and Julie, who have just sold their beloved family home in Sidcup, Kent. Problem is, they’re still head over heels in love with it, and if they could pick it up and pop it somewhere more rural than suburban, they would.

9.00 Food Prices: The Shocking Truth Jimmy Doherty goes on a global journey to find out why food prices have been rising. In this episode, Jimmy looks at some more of the main staples in our food basket and the world events that have affected their price, including coffee, eggs, pork and cornflakes.

10.00 The Missing See highlights.

11.00 Secrets Of The Vatican Documentary. Secrets of the Vatican tells the epic story of the collapse of the Benedict papacy and illuminates the extraordinary challenges facing Pope Francis.

12.00am Random Acts 12.05 PokerStars.com EPT London 1.00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.30 Trans World Sport 2.25 Beach Volleyball 3.15 Freesports On 4 3.45 Challenge Wanaka Triathlon 4.10 SuperScrimpers 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Hotel Inspector 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Back To You And Me (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The revelation of Brax’s transfer leaves Ricky with nowhere to go.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Gibraltar: Britain In The Sun Observational documentary series following the lives of the natives and ex-pats who live in Gibraltar.

8.00 Benidorm ER Documentary series following the staff and their British patients at the busy Clinica Benidorm hospital.

9.00 The Mentalist American crime drama series. Jane joins a commune to find out how a US attorney was found dead in Mexico even though there is no record of her ever crossing the border. Meanwhile, Rigsby and Van Pelt try to convince JJ LaRoche to help them discover who is stalking former members of the CBI. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series.

An FBI agent suddenly refuses to cooperate with Benson and Stabler as they investigate her rape.

11.00 Body Of Proof US mystery series. Dr Megan Hunt and Dr Kate Murphy investigate when the body of an undercover detective is found.

11.55 Body Of Proof US drama.

12.50am Police 5 1.15 SuperCasino 3.15 The Travellers’ Secret Cash Stash 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football League 10.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 11.00 Football League 12.00pm FL72 Review 1.00 SPFL Round-Up 1.30 The Footballers’ Football Show 2.30 Football League 3.30 FL72 Review 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 Barclays Premier League Review 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.00 Football’s Greatest Teams 10.30 Revista De La Liga 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Ford Football Special 1.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 2.00 Barclays Premier League Review 3.00 Ford Football Special 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 Ford Football Special

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 ICC World T20 Zone 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 Football Gold 10.15 Football Gold 10.30 Football Gold 10.45 Football Gold 11.00 ICC World T20 Zone 1.00pm LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 IRB Sevens Rugby 8.00 ICC World T20 Zone 10.00 ICC World T20 Zone 12.00am Super League Backchat 12.30 Sportswomen 1.00 ICC World T20 Zone 3.00 Super League Backchat 3.30 Super League: Grand Final Gold 3.45 Super League: Grand Final Gold 4.00 ICC World T20 Zone

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 6.15 Football Gold 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 WWE Afterburn 11.00 Racing News 11.30 SPFL Round-Up 1.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 ATP Masters Tennis 3.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 11.00 Premier League Poker 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Super League Backchat 4.30 Arm Wars 5.00 Sports Unlimited Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

10.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: LA (x2) 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 Never Left Britain 10.00 The Smoke 11.00 NCIS: LA (x3) 2.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Free Speech 9.00 Pramface 9.30 Pramface 10.00 Hair. See highlights. 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am American Dad! 12.30 Pramface 1.00 Pramface 1.30 Hair 2.30 Impractical Jokers 3.00 Hair

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Weird Nature 8.30 Secrets Of Bones 9.00 Fossil Wonderlands: Nature’s Hidden Treasures 10.00 The First World War 10.50 Grand Prix: The Killer Years 11.50 Magnificent Machines: The Golden Age Of The British Sports Car 12.50am The Somme

4.10pm The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.50 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 12.40am Two And A Half Men (x2)

11.55am The House Of Eliott 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Home To Roost 4.40 Second Thoughts 5.10 The Upper Hand 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Murder, She Wrote 7.50 FILM: Mamma Mia! (2008) 10.00 The Last Weekend 11.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.15am A Touch Of Frost

4.00pm New Girl 4.30 Happy Endings 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: Grease (1978) 10.15 Bodyshockers: My Tattoo Hell 11.15 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.15am Rules Of Engagement (x2) 1.15 Rude Tube

12.55pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 Building The Dream 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 10.00 Grand Designs Australia 11.10 Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic 12.15am Grand Designs

11.00am Damn The Defiant! (1962) 1.00pm Arizona Raiders (1965) 2.55 Town On Trial (1957) 4.50 Father Goose (1964) 7.05 Big Momma’s House (2000) 9.00 Robin Hood (2010) 11.40 The Seven Samurai (1954) 3.35am Close

thelatest

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City Of...Business

www.thelatest.tv

An informal, fun and popular networking event with the added bonus of delicious curries at the monthly Brighton Business Curry Club

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024_LS671_TV_wed_L7wed14apr.qxd 19/03/2014 12:34 Page 1

Wednesday 26 MasterChef BBC1, 9pm The cookery competition returns for its tenth year. Get your whisks at the ready, and your hankies nearby for the near misses that are bound to bring a tear to the eye. With five weeks of heats, John Torode and Gregg Wallace up the temperature in this particular kitchen and see who can stand it. Yum.

Castle Channel Five, 10pm You’d wonder that Castle ever had any time to write his detective novels, immortalising Beckett as his smart cookie creation on the NYPD. This week the pair are investigating someone who had everything – they won the lottery – and then nothing – someone knocked them off. Green-eyed monster?

Secret Knowledge: Hogarth – One Man And His Pug BBC4, 8.30pm A bit of an odyssey here from selfconfessed Hogarth fanatic Lars Tharp, as he determines to solve the mystery of Hogarth’s long lost pug. Moving from harlots to rakes, and on to freemasons, this is quite a journey to a terracotta pug.

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ITV1

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Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 More Creatures Great And Small 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless

6.15am Homes Under The Hammer 7.15 Mountain 8.15 Wanted Down Under 9.00 Horizon: The Power Of The Placebo 10.00 Food & Drink 10.30 See Hear 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm Coast 1.05 South Africa Walks 1.35 The Nature Of Britain 2.25 Himalaya With Michael Palin 3.25 Cagney And Lacey 4.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 5.55 Party Political Broadcast By The Liberal Democrats

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holiday Hit Squad Angela Rippon, Helen Skelton and Joe Crowley explore how to make the very best of a holiday break and investigate how to make sure holidays across the globe live up to their promise. Joe calls on hotel inspector Lisa Ackerly to check out a hotel in Turkey that’s been dubbed online ‘the worst hotel ever’ and competes with Helen to find the best break for food lovers, foraging at home in Cornwall or abroad in Fez in Morocco. Angela investigates the confusion surrounding the European Health Insurance card or EHIC and, on call with the British consul in the Costa Blanca in Spain, sees the devastation caused by forest fires.

9.00 MasterChef See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Light-hearted sports quiz, with Sue Barker asking the questions to regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell.

11.05 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show Celebrity chat with awardwinning comedian Michael McIntyre.

11.50 Blandings 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 News

6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 The Voice: Louder On Two Zoe Ball gives exclusive access to behind the scenes at The Voice UK. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques experts travel across the UK searching for treasures that will make the most profit at auction.

8.00 Lambing Live Kate Humble and Adam Henson broadcast live from a sheep farm in Wales to capture this amazing life and death drama as it happens.

9.00 William The Marshal There’s this guy called William, right? And he’s a Marshal.

10.00 W1A Comedy sequel to Twenty Twelve. BBC Head of Values Ian Fletcher has only been in the job a few weeks and already finds himself at the centre of a media storm.

Spotlight South West presenter Sally Wingate believes she has been discriminated against because of her age, so Ian’s mission is to take the sting out of what has become known as ‘Wingategate’.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of news.

11.20 The Restaurant Man Restaurateur Russell Norman helps struggling newcomers to the trade find their feet.

12.20am Sign Zone: See Hear 4.00 A Question Of Faith 5.00 Found 5.15 The Big Wheel 5.30 What Makes Me, Me? And

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.25 Party Political Broadcast

By The Liberal Democrats 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lisa’s anxiety over Belle grows.

7.30 Coronation Street 8.00 Big Star’s Little Star Stephen Mulhern presents the first of a new series in which three celebrities share the stage with their own children. Tonight’s celebrity guests and their offspring are Ben Cohen with Isabelle and Harriet, Denise Lewis with Ryan and Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock with Pebbles.

9.00 Law & Order: UK Crime drama series. Ronnie and Joe come across a skeleton in a car boot at the bottom of the Thames. It turns out that the dead man was Taylor Kane, a black undercover police officer who went missing at the time of the Brixton riots in the 1980s. Unsettling evidence comes to light as Ronnie, Joe and Wes begin to raise issues which the police would rather forget.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Exposure: Inside The Diplomatic Bag Exposure investigates the privileged world of diplomats, revealing how some are abusing their special status.

11.35 Harry’s South Pole Heroes 12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 Columbo: Rest In Peace, Mrs Columbo 4.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Coach Trip 12.30 River Cottage Veg Every Day 1.00 FILM: Gun Fury (1953) 2.40 Countdown 3.30 Deal Or No Deal 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks After life-shattering revelations Danny has an unexpected opportunity. Can Darren persuade Diane to finally forgive Tony?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Secret Eaters Anna Richardson presents the documentary series that examines the psychology of eating.

Kelli and Tracey are brides-to-be who are baffled by how they’ve managed to put on four stone between them since they met.

9.00 Dead Famous DNA Documentary. Veterinary scientist Mark Evans sets out on a groundbreaking quest to track down the last remains of some of history’s most important and infamous figures.

10.00 First Dates Dating series in which singletons look for love in a restaurant full of other diners who are also hoping to start a relationship.

11.00 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under Dr Christian Jessen teams up with Antipodean physicians Sam Hay, Ginni Mansberg and Brad McKay to bring a unique Australian flavour to the successful medical series.

11.55 Random Acts 12.00am FILM: Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) 1.45 FILM: A Good Year (2006) 3.45 River Cottage Bites 4.00 SuperScrimpers 4.55 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Gadget Show 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 Chinese Food In Minutes 3.20 FILM: Murder On The 13th Floor (2012) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The twins decide whether they want to meet their sister.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Dangerous Drivers’ School Documentary series. A 70-year-old boy racer learns to ease up, a nervous Buddhist seeks peace behind the wheel and comedian Rowland Rivron proves that towing a caravan is no joke.

8.00 Killing Spree: Suffolk Strangler True crime series. A profile of Steven Wright, the Suffolk Strangler, who murdered five female sex workers in quick succession at different locations near Ipswich during the winter of 2006.

9.00 NCIS American crime drama.

The latest case sees the team conduct a desperate search for a kidnapped teenager whose abductors killed a navy officer.

10.00 Castle See highlights.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama series.

A murder at a rave in the desert leads DB Russell and his team to unearth a harrowing case.

11.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series.

12.50am True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 1.15 SuperCasino 3.05 Botched Up: Brides 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.00 Spanish Football Gold 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00pm Ford Football Special 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 3.00 Super League Backchat 3.30 Revista De La Liga 4.30 Ford Football Special 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Football’s Greatest Teams 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 Ford Football Special 11.15 Football Gold 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am What’s The Story? 1.00 Scottish Premiership 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.00 What’s The Story? 4.00 Scottish Premiership 5.00 Ford Football Special

Sky Sports 2 6.00am The Footballers’ Football Show 7.00 ICC World T20 Zone 9.00 Super League Backchat 9.30 Fantasy Football Club 10.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 11.00 ICC World T20 Zone 1.00pm Brian Lara Masterclass 3.00 ICC World T20 Zone 5.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 LIVE Scottish Premier League 10.00 What’s The Story? 11.00 Fantasy Football Club 11.30 Watersports World 12.30am Total Rugby 1.00 Pool 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 Total Rugby 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 Arm Wars 5.30 In Cycle

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 WWE Vintage 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Football Gold 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Football Asia 12.00pm ATP Masters Tennis 1.00 Super League Backchat 1.30 Fantasy Football Club 2.00 ATP Masters Tennis 3.00 Football Gold 4.00 ATP Masters Tennis 5.00 Revista De La Liga 6.00 ATP Masters Tennis 7.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Sporting Greats 9.30 Sporting Greats 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Max Power 12.00am Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 3.00 Arm Wars 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Total Rugby Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

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ITV2

ITV3

E4

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12.00pm NCIS: LA (x2) 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 FILM: Fantastic Four (2005) 10.05 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 11.05 NCIS: LA 12.05am Border Invasion USA 1.05 NCIS: LA

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Kris: Dying To Live 10.00 Bad Education 10.30 Impractical Jokers 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am American Dad! 12.30 Hair 1.30 Impractical Jokers 2.00 Kris: Dying To Live 3.00 Bad Education 3.30 Pramface

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 What Do Artists Do All Day? 8.30 Secret Knowledge: Hogarth - One Man And His Pug. See highlights. 9.00 Could We Survive A Mega-Tsunami?

10.00 David Attenborough’s First Life 11.00 Parks And Recreation 11.45 Walshes 12.15am Shipwrecks

5.05pm The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Party Wright Around The World 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.50 The Big Reunion 2014 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am Party Wright Around The World

1.00pm Heartbeat 1.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Home To Roost 4.40 Second Thoughts 5.15 The Upper Hand 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Paul O’Grady: For The Love Of Dogs (x2) 10.00 The Last Weekend 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.15am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

4.00pm New Girl 4.30 Happy Endings 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 The Tomorrow People 10.00 Rude Tube 11.00 My Mad Fat Diary 12.10am Brooklyn Nine-Nine 12.35 The Inbetweeners

10.30am FILM: Operation Petticoat (1959) 12.55pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 Building The Dream 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Italian Job (1969) 11.00 Millionaire Boy Racers 12.00am Grand Designs

11.00am The Great Sioux Massacre (1965) 1.05pm Love Me Or Leave Me (1955) 3.25 Master Of Ballantrae (1953) 5.10 The Admirable Crichton (1957) 7.00 Big (1988) 9.00 Max Payne (2008) 10.50 Man On Fire (2004) 1.40am Together (2000) 3.50 Close

Every night is a Saturday night in Brighton ALL your listings at thelatest.co.uk/listings

thelatest.co.uk/listings

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025_LS671_TV_thu_L7wed14apr.qxd 19/03/2014 12:36 Page 1

Thursday 27 Mayday: The Passenger Who Landed A Plane Channel 4, 9pm Not that we mean to worry you, just at the time you might be looking to book your Summer hols, but this really is a remarkable documentary. The plot’s pretty much in the title, but the marvel’s in the detail as 77-year-old greatgrandfather John Wildey recounts his own story.

Person Of Interest Channel Five, 10pm Sounds a bit like the prospect of a dog chasing its own tail – the FBI are still continuing their hunt for the ‘Man in the Suit’. Maybe its the snazzy tie that makes him stand out. In the meantime, the latest person to catch the machine’s attention used to work for a charity helping veterans, but she has a dark past.

Murder, She Wrote ITV3, 6.55pm You know how people are always saying that bad luck follows Jessica Fletcher like a bad smell?

Wherever she goes, murder follows, and her demeanour doesn’t get any less bright. You’d think she’d get a tiny bit of a complex after the first series...

Anyway, someone else is fed up with her too and is out to get her.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 More Creatures Great And Small 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless

6.20am Homes Under The Hammer 7.20 Mountain 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 Fake Or Fortune?

10.05 Gardeners’ World 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.05 South Africa Walks 1.35 The Nature Of Britain 2.25 Himalaya With Michael Palin 3.25 Cagney And Lacey 4.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders It is a big day for Dot, but will those closest to her be able to provide any support?

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Room 101 Frank Skinner referees three celebrities each week as they compete to banish their top peeve or worst nightmare to the depths of Room 101.

8.30 EastEnders A distraught Dot struggles to come to terms with everything that has happened.

9.00 MasterChef The cookery competition continues its tenth series, as the next group of six amateur cooks try to prove to judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace that they have the potential to be the tenth MasterChef champion. For their first test, the contestants are asked to cook their calling card.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby presents the topical debate from Brighton. On the panel are singersongwriter Mick Hucknall and the chief executive of Next, Lord Wolfson.

11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil.

12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 BBC News

6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 The Voice: Louder On Two Zoe Ball gives exclusive access to behind the scenes at The Voice UK. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques experts travel across the UK searching for treasures that will make the most profit at auction. Road trippers Mark Stacey and Mark Hales head for East Anglia in the search for lucrative antiques. Mark Hales gets a lesson in spying and Mark Stacey is left stunned at the auction.

8.00 Lambing Live 16 million lambs are born every year in the UK. In this groundbreaking series, Kate Humble and Adam Henson broadcast live from a sheep farm in Wales to capture this amazing life and death drama as it happens. How many lambs will be born? How many will survive? Follow their stories as the series unfolds.

9.00 Salting The Battlefield See that battlefield? It’s got salt on it.

We did that.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Laura Kuenssberg.

11.20 William The Marshal 12.20am Sign Zone: The Great NHS Robbery – Panorama 1.55 Formula 1: The Malaysian Grand Prix – Practice 4.55 3, 2, 1, Go! 5.55 Formula 1: The Malaysian Grand Prix – Practice

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Belle struggles to hide her guilt from Zak. 7.30 The Truth About Immigration: Tonight Over the past ten years, Britain has experienced the largest influx of immigrants in its history.

More than 1.8 million people have arrived here since 2004 – a rate of 48 every hour – and many councils say they are struggling to cope. Julie Etchingham investigates the truth about immigration.

8.00 Emmerdale Zak supports Belle when she asks for help.

8.30 Ade At Sea Adrian Edmondson sails the waterways of the Thames estuary.

9.00 Dangerous Dogs Suranne Jones narrates the second part of this in-depth look at the worrying increase of dog attacks in Britain.

Despite our reputation as a nation of dog lovers, thousands of attacks are reported in Britain each year, including a handful of fatal incidents.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Edge Of Heaven Comedy drama series set in a Margate guesthouse. Alfie decides to take his boss on in the Margate fun run.

11.35 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the game show.

12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 The Truth About Immigration: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Coach Trip 12.35 River Cottage Bites 12.50 FILM: The Cross Of Lorraine (1943) 2.40 Countdown 3.30 Deal Or No Deal 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Diane’s attitude tips Sinead over the edge.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 The Hoarder Next Door Psychotherapist Stelios Kiosses and his team of experts try to help six of Britain’s most extreme hoarders cure their addiction. In Bury St Edmunds, David’s passion for music and buying records has spiralled into a compulsion to hoard anything that takes his fancy.

9.00 Mayday: The Passenger Who Landed A Plane See highlights.

10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts the famous words and numbers quiz with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson joined by Miles Jupp and Aisling Bea. Rachel Riley provides the letters and numbers with help from comedian Joe Wilkinson.

11.05 One Born Every Minute Flyon-the-wall documentary series following staff and patients on a labour ward at Southmead hospital, Bristol.

12.05am The Missing 1.05 Random Acts 1.10 First Dates 2.05 Shop Secrets: Tricks Of The Trade 2.35 Katie: My Beautiful Friends 3.30 Katie: My Beautiful Friends Hospital Heartache: Channel 4 Dispatches 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.50 SuperScrimpers

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 It Takes A Thief To Catch A Thief 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS: Los Angeles 3.10 FILM: My Neighbor’s Keeper (2007) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Kyle’s latest attempt to woo Phoebe involves inviting her over so that they can write music together.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Police Interceptors Observational documentary series following an elite team of high-speed law-enforcement pursuit specialists in Cumbria.

8.00 It Takes A Thief To Catch A Thief Anti-crime documentary series.

Reformed master thief Richard Taylor and crime prevention officer Will Davies show staff at a North London charity shop and a Glasgow offlicence how to foil thieves.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector Despite its proximity to London Gatwick airport, the 34-acre Waterhall Country House hotel is struggling and the owners’ dream of building it into a profitable business for their children has turned out to be just pie in the sky. Can Alex Polizzi set them on the runway to success?

10.00 Person Of Interest See highlights.

10.55 CSI: NY - Killing Spree US crime drama series.

11.55 Access A daily round-up of showbiz news and gossip.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.05 Booze, Bust-Ups & Brothels: Soho Blues 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Nick’s Quest 5.35 Nick’s Quest

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.00 Scottish Premiership 11.00 What’s The Story?

12.00pm Ford Football Special 1.00 Scottish Premiership 2.00 What’s The Story? 3.00 Ford Football Special 4.00 Football Gold 4.15 Football Gold 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 FL72 Preview 6.00 Ringside 7.00 Super League Superstars 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.15 FL72 Preview 11.15 Super League: Grand Final Gold 11.30 Super League: Grand Final Gold 11.45 Super League: Grand Final Gold 12.00am Super League 1.00 Darts: Premier League 4.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.00 Super League

Sky Sports 2 6.00am ATP Masters Tennis 7.00 Boots ‘n’ All 8.00 Total Rugby 8.30 Ashes Modern Day Classics 9.00 LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 1.00pm LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 5.00 Ashes Modern Day Classics 6.00 Darts Gold 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 ICC World T20 Zone 12.30am FL72 Preview 1.30 ICC World T20 Zone 3.30 Ashes Modern Day Classics 4.00 ICC World T20 Zone

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 World Pool Masters 10.00 TBA 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00pm ATP Masters Tennis 1.00 Super League Backchat 1.30 Fantasy Football Club 2.00 ATP Masters Tennis 3.00 Sporting Greats 3.30 In Cycle 4.00 Sporting Greats 4.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.00 ATP Masters Tennis 6.00 Rugby Club 7.00 LIVEATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Rugby Club 11.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 1.00am ATP Tour Uncovered 1.30 Rugby Club 2.30 Ringside 3.30 Rugby Club 4.30 In Cycle 5.00 Ringside Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

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BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

10.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: LA (x2) 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 The Smoke 10.00 Revolution 11.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Hair 9.00 Junior Paramedics 10.00 Bluestone 42 (x2) 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Bluestone 42 (x2) 1.30 Junior Paramedics 2.30 Impractical Jokers 3.00 Junior Paramedics

7.00pm News T 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1979 8.00 Ever Decreasing Circles 8.30 Brushing Up On...

9.00 How To Get Ahead: At Versailles 10.00 The Walshes 10.30 Horizon: Why Can’t We Predict Earthquakes? 11.30 Timewatch: Stonehenge 12.25am The Other Pompeii: Life And Death In Herculaneum

4.10pm The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 The Big Reunion 2014 10.30 Celebrity Juice: The Big Reunion Special 11.20 Dads 11.50 Mom (x2) 12.50am Two And A Half Men (x2)

11.50am The House Of Eliott 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Home To Roost 4.50 Second Thoughts 5.20 The Upper Hand 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote. See highlights.

8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Inspector Morse 12.15am A Touch Of Frost 2.10 Nightscreen

4.30pm Happy Endings 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 9.30 The Inbetweeners 10.00 Fresh Meat 10.55 Rude Tube 12.00am Revenge

10.40am FILM: Hombre (1967) 12.55pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 Building The Dream 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Nashville 11.00 Southland 11.55 Grand Designs (x2) 2.05am The Good Wife

11.00am The Lemon Tree (2008) 1.05pm Dakota Incident (1956) 2.55 The Black Tent (1956) 4.45 One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 6.50 Only You (1994) 9.00 Priest (2011) 10.45 Law Abiding Citizen (2009) 12.50am Basic Instinct 2 (2006) 3.25 Close

“There was a great gig last night.”

“No, it was rubbish!” The verdict’s out at

thelatest.co.uk/reviews

thelatest.co.uk/reviews

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Friday 28 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D Channel 4, 8pm These are tough guys. They make tough faces at the camera and are perfectly chiselled. They acquire strategically placed dirt that doesn’t so much make them look as if they need a bath, more that their cheekbones are even sharper than usual. Dirt as blusher. The gang go undercover.

Joanna Lumley Meets will.i.am BBC1, 10.35pm Not the first person you’d expect the BBC to turn to, to get the true will.i.am. Joanna Lumley travels to LA to spend time with The Voice judge, even finding out from his mother how the hyperactive kid made it out of a tough neighbourhood and to international stardom.

Robert Plant: By Myself BBC4, 9pm Another chance to catch the BBC2 documentary about the legendary musician. From Stourbridge, through the British blues boom to superstardom with Led Zeppelin and beyond –– including his reunion with Jimmy Page and his pairing with Alison Krauss. A great way to kick off the shoes of the working week.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 More Creatures Great And Small 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless

7.35am Animal Park 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10.05 Pound Shop Wars 10.35 The Travel Show 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.05 South Africa Walks 1.35 The Nature Of Britain 2.25 Himalaya With Michael Palin 3.25 Cagney And Lacey 4.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 The Voice: Louder On Two Zoe Ball gives exclusive access to behind the scenes at The Voice UK. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques experts travel across the UK searching for treasures that will make the most profit at auction. It is the turn of antiques experts Thomas Plant and James Lewis to take to the road in their classic car, as they head round the highlands and lowlands of Scotland.

8.00 Lambing Live 16 million lambs are born every year in the UK. In this groundbreaking series, Kate Humble and Adam Henson broadcast live from a sheep farm in Wales to capture this amazing life and death drama as it happens. Follow their stories as the series unfolds.

9.00 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine.

9.30 A Very British Renaissance A Very British Renaissance. Not French.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark.

11.05 FILM: Thirteen Days (2000) Starring Kevin Costner, Bruce Greenwood, Steven Culp, Dylan Baker. Tense political thriller set during the two-week Cuban missile crisis in October 1962.

1.20am Question Time 2.20 Sign Zone: Wild Brazil

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Coach Trip 12.35 River Cottage Bites 12.50 FILM: The Belles Of St Trinian’s (1955) 2.40 Countdown 3.30 Deal Or No Deal 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sinead is grateful for a chance to prove herself.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. See highlights.

9.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series in which TV fanatics open up their living rooms to reveal their reactions to popular and topical shows.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Comic Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Alan is joined by Gary Barlow, who performs his latest single, Since I Saw You Last. Ricky Gervais also joins Alan to talk about his latest film Muppets Most Wanted, together with two of the movie’s stars: Kermit the Frog and his nemesis, Constantine.

11.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr hosts the topical comedy panel show.

Joining team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock on this edition are guests Dr Christian Jessen, Lethal Bizzle, Joe Wilkinson and Aisling Bea. 11.50 Brooklyn Nine-Nine US sitcom about New York City police detectives.

12.20am FILM: Zoolander (2001) 1.50 Random Acts 1.55 The Simpsons 2.20 Happy Endings 2.40 Happy Endings 3.00 Franklin & Bash 3.45 The Good Wife 4.30 SuperScrimpers 4.50 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 My Spiral Into Debt Hell 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.15 FILM: Love’s Resounding Courage (2010) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Phoebe shoots down Kyle’s attempts to apologise, but he tries another tack by sending her a song. Persistant boy.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked tech consumer show.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers Reality series. Hugh places his life in the hands of an ice road rookie as he drafts a ragtag team of drivers into a convoy.

9.00 Mysteries Of The Bermuda Triangle Documentary. The Bermuda Triangle is one of the most enduring enigmas of modern times. But is it really a mystery? Or can its dangers and the seemingly bizarre disappearances be explained by down to earth facts?

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles Drama series. The team investigate the murder of a North Korean defector who was working on a very sensitive project for the US government.

10.55 Longmire Crime drama series.

Still struggling to come to terms with his wife’s death after a year, Sheriff Longmire investigates a murder with links to a mobile brothel and a missing girl.

11.55 Access 12.00am SuperCasino 3.05 Slaughter On The Sunset Strip 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Nick’s Quest 5.35 Nick’s Quest

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 ATP Masters Tennis 10.00 FL72 Preview 11.00 Football Gold 11.15 Football Gold 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00pm Darts: Premier League 3.30 Darts Gold 3.45 Darts Gold 4.00 Rugby Club 5.00 Ringside 6.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 Fantasy Football Club 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.15 Fantasy Football Club 11.15 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.45 UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.15am Super League 1.15 Fantasy Football Club 2.15 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.45 Football Gold 3.00 Fantasy Football Club 4.00 Rugby Club 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Light-hearted sports quiz, with Sue Barker asking the questions to regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Mick’s family loyalty is put to the test when he receives an unexpected call.

8.30 MasterChef The cookery competition continues its tenth series with the first quarter-final, and the four talented heat winners have no time to rest on their laurels as they fight for their place in the competition. First, they must prove their mettle in the fiendishly difficult palate and skills test.

9.00 New Tricks Drama series featuring an eccentric bunch of expolicemen, brought out of retirement to investigate unsolved crimes.

Someone sings the theme tune and is one of the stars. Just sayin’.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Joanna Lumley Meets Will.i.am See highlights.

11.35 Would I Lie To You? Comedy panel show hosted by Angus Deayton in which teams must sort the truth from the fiction.

12.05am EastEnders 2.30 Weatherview 2.35 BBC News

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lisa is devastated by the consequences of Zak’s decision.

7.30 Coronation Street Carla needs a big favour frrom Michelle.

8.00 Student Nurses: Bedpans & Bandages An observational series which follows student nurses at different stages of their training.

8.30 Coronation Street Is it time for Carla to tell Peter she is pregnant?

Beth is touched by Craig's sincerity.

Will Gary be caught out 9.00 Edge Of Heaven Concluding episode of the comedy drama series set in a Margate guesthouse. After his moment of madness with Carly, can Alfie hope to come clean to Michelle without wrecking their relationship for good?

His mates Donkey and Spanner urge him to keep mum but Alfie is convinced he has to tell the truth and hope she forgives him.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Scent Of A Woman (1992) Starring Al Pacino, Chris O’Donnell, James Rebhorn, Gabrielle Anwar, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Drama. Shy college student Charlie Simms agrees to look after blind retired colonel Frank Slade over the Thanksgiving weekend. Hoo hah!

1.25am Jackpot247 3.00 FILM: The Majestic (2001) 5.30 ITV Nightscreen

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Ashes Modern Day Classics 6.30 FL72 Preview 7.30 Ringside 8.30 Ashes Modern Day Classics 9.00 LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 1.00pm LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 5.00 Ashes Modern Day Classics 6.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 LIVE Netball Superleague 9.30 Sporting Greats 10.00 ICC World T20 Zone 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Netball Superleague 3.00 Ringside 4.00 ICC World T20 Zone

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 6.30 Super Rugby 8.30 Live IRB Sevens Rugby 2.00pm ATP Masters Tennis 3.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 3.30 Sporting Greats 4.00 ATP Masters Tennis 5.00 Rugby Club 6.00 ATP Masters Tennis 7.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 11.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 1.00am Sporting Greats 1.30 Super League 2.30 Super League: Grand Final Gold 4.00 In Cycle 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Super League Victoria Nangle

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ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

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12.00pm NCIS: LA (x2) 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x4) 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Stella 10.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 11.00 Moone Boy 11.30 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.30am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 7.25 Doctor Who (x2) 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 Life And Death Row 11.15 Family Guy 12.00am American Dad! (x2) 12.45 Impractical Jokers 1.15 Pramface (x2) 2.15 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.45 Impractical Jokers 3.15 Kerry

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Darcey Bussell Dances Hollywood 9.00 Robert Plant: By Myself. See highlights. 10.00 The Genius Of Bert Jansch: Folk, Blues And Beyond 11.30 Fleetwood Mac: Don’t Stop 12.30am BBC Four Sessions 1.30 Robert Plant: By Myself 2.30 The Genius Of Bert Jansch

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 11.10 Take Me Out 12.25am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.25 Mom (x2)

1.15pm Heartbeat 2.15 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Home To Roost 4.50 Second Thoughts 5.20 The Upper Hand 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Secrets From The Workhouse 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.05 FILM: Gorillas In The Mist (1988) 1.40am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

4.00pm New Girl 4.30 Happy Endings 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 FILM: Lake Placid (1999) 10.40 Rude Tube 11.50 The Midnight Beast 12.25am Little Box Of Horrors 12.50 Balls Of Steel Australia

10.15am FILM: The Quiet Man (1952) 12.55pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 Building The Dream 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Mammon 10.25 FILM: Wall Street (1987) 12.50am Confessions Of A Male Stripper: First Cut

11.00am Meet Me In St Louis (1944) 1.15pm The Halls Of Montezuma (1950) 3.30 Bullwhip (1958) 5.05 Carry On Behind (1975) 6.55 The Addams Family (1991) 9.00 Fast Five (2011) 11.35 Days Of Thunder (1990) 1.40am Flash Point (2007) 3.45 Close

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Saturday 29 The Voice UK BBC1 7pm It’s the live semi-finals, which means the remaining artists have to perform alongside their superstar coaches – eek!

Competition is tough and just one act from each mentor can go through to the final. Who goes?

You choose. Special guests Shakira and Enrique Inglesias will also be performing on the night.

Longmire Channel Five, 7.20pm A woman’s body has been found on the outskirts of Absaroka, a fictional US county that could rival Midsomer in terms of body count. Can a trail of dollar bills and body glitter lead Sheriff Walt Longmire to the killer? If that wasn’t drama enough, there’s a romance blossoming that could cause controversy in the town.

How I Met Your Mother E4, 7pm If you’ve exhausted your ‘Friends’ boxset and you’re looking for something fresh, you’ll be a big fan of this. It follows the lives and relationships of a group of friends in New York (sound familiar?) and in this double bill, Barney’s brother James visits (with a secret), and Robin and Loretta’s conflict escalates. Juicy!

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.00 Formula 1: The Malaysian Grand Prix – Qualifying 9.30 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.00 James Martin: Home Comforts 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts 12.00pm Football Focus 12.45 Saturday Sportsday 1.00 BBC News 1.10 South East Today 1.15 Formula 1: The Malaysian Grand Prix – Qualifying Replay 3.30 Reflex Celebrity Special 4.15 Final Score 5.15 FILM: Shrek (2001) 6.40 BBC News The latest national and international news from the BBC. 6.50 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England.

7.00 The Voice UK See highlights.

9.10 The National Lottery Live Kate Garraway presents the live draws including Lotto and Thunderball, with a musical performance by Lisa Stansfield.

9.20 Casualty New consultant Connie Beauchamp saves a man from prison on her first day at the ED, while Ash takes his wayward daughter in hand.

10.10 BBC News The latest national and international news from the BBC. 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents all the goals and highlights Premier League. Arsenal host Manchester City at the Emirates in a game that could be crucial to both sides’ title hopes. Chelsea are also looking to boost their credentials as potential champions at Crystal Palace. Manchester United are aiming for a seventh consecutive victory over Aston Villa, while Alan Pardew faces his former club Southampton. West Brom play host to Cardiff, Hull travel to Stoke and Norwich visit Swansea.

11.55 (GMT) The Football League Show Highlights from the Football League 2.15am (BST) Weatherview 2.20 BBC News

BBC2

6.05am FILM: The Saint In New York (1938) 7.15 FILM: The Saint Strikes Back (1939) 8.20 The Living Planet 9.15 The Living Planet 10.10 The Nature Of Britain 11.00 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 11.30 Great British Railway Journeys 12.00pm James Martin: Home Comforts 12.30 Mary Berry Cooks 1.00 The Hairy Bakers 1.15 FILM: The Thirty Nine Steps (1935) 2.40 James Mason: Talking Pictures 3.20 FILM: North By Northwest (1959) 5.30 Mountain Gorilla 6.30 Flog It! Members of the public are invited to try to make money out of their antiques by taking a risk at auction.

7.30 Dad’s Army Classic comedy about the Home Guard unit of Walmington-on-Sea. 8.00 The Perfect Morecambe & Wise A collection of the very best sketches, songs and comedy routines from the much-loved Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise.

8.30 The Plantagenets Professor Robert Bartlett continues the remarkable story of the Plantagenets.

9.30 QI Comedy quiz show. Stephen Fry considers the subject of kings.

10.00 Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle Stewart Lee presents his award-winning standup series continues. Featuring a guest appearance from Paul Putner.

10.30 FILM: We Need To Talk About Kevin (2011) Starring Tilda Swinton, John C Reilly. A woman looks back on her son’s childhood after he commits an act that damages their community and relationship forever.

12.15am (GMT) FILM: I Am Love (2009) Italian drama about an haute bourgeoisie family in Milan. A mother watches her children embark on their adult lives and slowly comes to the realisation that something is missing from her life – and the answer comes in the form of her son’s chef friend.

ITV1

6.00-7.00am Children’s TV 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Om Nom Stories 7.15 Om Nom Stories 7.20 Sooty 7.30 Scrambled! 7.35 Almost Naked Animals 7.50 Adventure Time 8.30 Horrid Henry 8.50 The Aquabats!

Super Show! 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Murder, She Wrote 10.25 Dinner Date 11.25 ITV News & Weather 11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12.05pm The Unforgettable Gordon Jackson 12.35 FILM: Junior (1994) 2.35 The Chase 3.35 Midsomer Murders 5.30 ITV News Meridian 5.45 ITV News & Weather 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Shockers More cringe-worthy videos presented by Harry Hill.

7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway Ant and Dec continue the latest series of their fun-packed live family entertainment show.

8.25 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show, inviting more contestants to see if they can take on the Cube and win 250,000 pounds.

9.25 Law & Order: UK Crime drama series. Ronnie and Joe come across a skeleton in a car boot at the bottom of the Thames.

10.25 The Americans Cold War drama series following two KGB agents posing as Americans.

11.25 ITV News & Weather 11.40 Through The Keyhole Keith Lemon presents the classic game show. Let loose to rummage around three mystery celebrity houses, Keith unearths clues to the identities of the famous homeowners. Using their powers of observation and the assistance of the studio audience, can the all-star panel guess whose home it is? DJ and TV presenter Dave Berry welcomes Eamonn Holmes and Martine McCutcheon to the panel this week.

12.35am (GMT) Jackpot247 4.00 (BST) In Plain Sight 4.40 ITV Nightscreen Text-based information service.

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Mobil 1 The Grid 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Frasier 9.55 The Big Bang Theory 10.25 The Big Bang Theory 10.50 How I Met Your Mother 11.15 How I Met Your Mother 11.40 The Simpsons 12.10pm The Simpsons 12.40 Undercover Boss USA 1.40 Channel 4 Racing From Doncaster And Kempton Park 4.20 Come Dine With Me 5.05 Come Dine With Me 5.50 Channel 4 Racing: The Dubai World Cup 6.35 Channel 4 News 7.05 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. US drama series about secret agents in the Marvel superhero universe. Coulson and his team go undercover on a train to be one step ahead of a clairvoyant.

8.00 Hostages American drama series.

Brian wants to tell the police the truth.

At the last moment, he reconsiders when Burton shows him that Ellen and Duncan are in a close relationship.

Duncan makes a bad decision.

9.00 FILM: The Mechanic (2011) Starring Jason Statham, Christa Campbell. A hit man takes on a young protege who is connected to the victim of an earlier assignment.

Gripping action thriller with a satisfyingly complex plot that packs some unexpected punches.

10.45 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop III (1993) Starring Eddie Murphy, Jon Tenney. Fast-paced action comedy featuring unconventional Detroit detective, Axel Foley. When his boss is shot dead during a police raid on a crooked car dealer’s yard, the quickwitted cop tracks the killer down to the elite Californian neighbourhood.

12.50am (GMT) FILM: Notorious (2009) Biopic charting the life and death of hip hop star Notorious B.I.G, whose drive-by murder is still unsolved.

3.50 (BST) Abductees 4.05 Hollyoaks Omnibus

Channel Five

6.00-6.50am Children’s TV. 6.50 Chloe’s Closet 7.00 Roobarb And Custard Too 7.10 Bananas In Pyjamas 7.25 Make Way For Noddy 7.40 City Of Friends 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Jelly Jamm 9.30 LazyTown 10.00 Access 10.05 Meerkat Manor 10.30 FILM: The Bridge At Remagen (1969) 12.55pm FILM: A Bridge Too Far (1977) 4.15 FILM: Joe Kidd (1972) 5.50 Columbo: Mind Over Mayhem 7.15 NCIS Drama series following the work of the navy’s dedicated federal agency. Tony and Jeanne are held hostage in a morgue. The team is worried about polygraph tests ordered by Homeland Security, and Shepard has a mysterious visitor.

7.20 Longmire See highlights 8.10 NCIS Drama series following the work of the navy’s dedicated federal agency. Tony and Jeanne are held hostage in a morgue. The team is worried about polygraph tests ordered by Homeland Security, and Shepard has a mysterious visitor.

9.05 5 News Weekend National and international news.

9.10 Greatest Kids TV Shows A countdown of the 50 greatest British children’s TV shows of all time. From Blue Peter to Bagpuss, Captain Pugwash to Tiswas and Going Live to Peppa Pig, the film looks back fondly on these well-loved programmes.

Featuring contributions from Phillip Schofield, Chris Tarrant, Helen Skelton, Johnny Ball, Peter Purves and Valerie Singleton, the Grange Hill kids and even Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds, Sylvia Anderson.

12.10am (GMT) SuperCasino 4.00 (BST) Wildlife SOS 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 The Funky Valley Show 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.10 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Hana’s Helpline 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

Sky Sports 1 6.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 Ringside 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Fantasy Football Club 9.00 Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Championship 2.30 Saturday Team Talk 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.00 LIVE Ford Saturday Night Football 8.00 Saturday Night Football – Game Of The Day 10.00 Saturday Night Football – Match Choice 11.30 Championship 12.00am (GMT) Saturday Reloaded 2.00 (BST) Saturday Night Football – Match Choice 2.30 Saturday Night Football – Match Choice 4.00 Championship 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Tight Lines 7.00 ICC World T20 Zone 9.00 LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 1.00pm LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 5.00 Sky Sports Classics 5.15 Spanish Football 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Spanish Football 11.15 Spanish Football 11.30 Spanish Football 11.45 Spanish Football Gold 12.00am (GMT) Ringside 2.00 (BST) ICC World T20 Zone 4.00 Ringside 5.00 Football League Gold 5.15 Football Gold 5.30 Football League Gold 5.45 Football Gold

Sky Sports 3 12.00pm Super League 1.00 Live Dubai World Cup Carnival 6.30 Sporting Greats 7.00 Ashes Modern Day Classics 7.30 Ashes Modern Day Classics 8.00 ICC World T20 Zone 10.00 ICC World T20 Zone 12.00am Ashes Modern Day Classics 12.30 (GMT) Ashes Modern Day Classics 2.00 (BST) Max Power 3.00 Spanish Football 3.55 Ashes Modern Day Classics 4.25 LIVE IRB Sevens Rugby

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12.00pm WWE: Superstars 1.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 2.00 Sinbad 3.00 Futurama (x2) 4.00 Modern Family (x6) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A League Of Their Own 9.00 Arrow 10.00 Revolution 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am (GMT) Football’s Funniest Moments 2.00 (BST) Street Crime UK

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 7.20 Doctor Who 8.15 Top Gear 9.20 FILM: Old School (2002) 10.50 (GMT) Family Guy (x7) 2.00am (BST) Pramface (x6)

7.00pm David Attenborough’s First Life 8.00 Shipwrecks: Britain’s Sunken History 9.00 Inspector De Luca 10.50 Chas & Dave: Last Orders 11.50 Squeeze: Take Me I’m Yours 12.50am (GMT) Top Of The Pops: 1979 2.25 (BST) Sounds Of The 70s 2 2.55 Shipwrecks: Britain’s Sunken History

3.30pm Kylie Minogue: The Hot Desk 3.45 FILM: Honey (2003) 5.40 FILM: The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (2008) 7.50 FILM: Whip It (2009) 10.00 Celebrity Juice: The Big Reunion Special 10.50 Crazy Beaches 11.20 (GMT) FILM: The Butterfly Effect (2004) 2.30am (BST) Dads 2.55 Teleshopping

6.45am Sherlock Holmes: The Sign Of Four 8.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x3) 3.30 FILM: Man About The House (1974) 5.20 Inspector Morse 7.25 Rosemary And Thyme 8.25 Doc Martin 9.25 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey 10.25 Cold Blood 12.00am (GMT) Murder, She Wrote 2.00 (BST) Judge Judy

2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (x2) 4.00 2 Broke Girls (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.00 The Tomorrow People 9.00 FILM: Because I Said So (2007) 11.05 Rude Tube 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

10.05am Come Dine With Me Down Under (x5) 12.50pm FILM: The Hunt For Red October (1990) 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x3) 6.50 Great Canal Journeys 7.55 The Churchills 9.00 Churchill’s Darkest Decision 10.00 Churchill And The Fascist Plot 11.05 Mammon 12.25am The Churchills

11.00am Town On Trial (1957) 1.00pm The Truman Show (1998) 2.55 Swiss Family Robinson (1960) 5.35 Ice Age (2002) 7.10 Legend (1985) 9.00 Hanna (2011) 11.10 (GMT) Wanted (2008) 2.15am (BST) The Last Exorcism (2010) 4.00 Close

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Sunday 30 Surprise Surprise Mother’s Day Special ITV1, 7.00pm Holly Willoughby presents a selection of very special mums with incredible prizes this Mother’s Day. One woman gets a surprise visit from Boyzone, while another gets to fly to New York to meet her idol Whoopi Goldberg. It’ll certainly put your own gift to shame!

Louis Theroux’s LA Stories BBC2, 9pm Louis Theroux explores how Americans deal with death by visiting LA’s most famous hospital to meet patients battling lifethreatening illnesses. These people face the unimaginably tough decision of whether to accept a comfortable death, or gamble with a treatment that could cost their comfort.

The Big Reunion ITV2, 11.50pm The second series concludes as the pop acts perform in front of thousands of nostalgic fans who just won’t let go of their teenhoods. There’s pressure, squabling and of course tears as these bands battle their nerves and attempt to pull off a performance to wow the crowds and prove those critics wrong.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Breakfast 8.00 Formula 1: The Malaysian Grand Prix 11.15 Sunday Politics 12.30pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 BBC News 1.15 NoRuz: The Persian Spring 1.45 Formula 1: The Malaysian Grand Prix Replay 3.45 Deadly On A Mission: Pole To Pole 4.15 Escape To The Country 4.45 Songs Of Praise 5.20 Pointless Celebrities

6.00am Countryfile 7.00 Gardeners’ World 7.30 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12.30pm Living Famously 1.30 FILM: Foreign Correspondent (1940) 3.25 FILM: I Confess (1953) 5.00 Flog It!

6.05 Blandings Clarence’s bid to win the Pumpkin prize is threatened by Connie’s ambition to marry Freddie off to Sir Gregory’s niece.

6.35 BBC News 6.55 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile Countryfile is in the beautiful County Durham, a place Matt Baker likes to call home. Ellie Harrison explores one of Britain’s great undiscovered secrets. Adam takes a trip to Cornwall to see a breed of sheep more at home in the Swiss Alps, and Jules Hudson joins the Severn Valley Railway to prepare for the start of the tourist season.

8.00 Antiques Roadshow A visit to Scone Palace, near Perth in Scotland..

9.00 The Musketeers The series reaches its climax as an unexpected rift between the Musketeers threatens to blow them apart. Athos takes a woman hostage in the square, and the Musketeers are amazed to discover it’s Milady. Can the Musketeers restore their team and bring Milady and the cardinal to justice?

10.00 BBC News .

10.15 South East Today 10.25 Match Of The Day 2 Mark Chapman introduces highlights from the Premier League.

11.25 Football League Trophy Highlights 12.00am Weatherview 12.05 BBC News

6.00 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip Working on the massive job to reconstruct steam train ‘The Night Owl’, the Bikers forge a steel wheel taller than they are for the biggest locomotive restoration in Britain.

7.00 Great Barrier Reef Monty Halls explores Australia’s Great Barrier Reef.

8.00 Border Country – The Story Of Britain’s Lost Middleland Border Country – The Story of Britain’s Lost Middleland.

9.00 Louis Theroux’s LA Stories See highlights.

10.00 QI XL Stephen Fry looks at jeopardy.

10.45 Top Of The Pops: 1977 – Big Hits The celebration of Top of the Pops 1977 continues with Heatwave and the Stranglers in the top ten.

11.45 FILM: War Requiem (1989) Starring Nathaniel Parker, Tilda Swinton, Laurence Olivier and Patricia Hayes. Film with no spoken dialogue which follows the music and lyrics of Benjamin Britten’s War Requiem and includes Wilfred Owen’s poems reflecting the horrors of war.

It portrays the story of an English soldier, Owen, and a nurse (his bride) during World War I, and includes footage from World War II and wars in Vietnam and Angola.

1.10am Sign Zone: Countryfile 2.10 Sign Zone: Holby City 3.10 Sign Zone: Silk

ITV1

6.00-6.55am Children’s TV 6.55 Canimals 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Om Nom Stories 7.15 Om Nom Stories 7.20 Sooty 7.30 Scrambled!

7.35 Almost Naked Animals 7.55 Horrid Henry 8.20 Victorious 8.55 The Aquabats! Super Show!

9.25 ITV News 9.30 Murder, She Wrote 10.30 The Unforgettable Kenneth Williams 11.00 ITV News & Weather 11.10 River Monsters 12.10pm Agatha Christie’s Marple 2.05 Big Star’s Little Star 3.05 FILM: Moonraker (1979) 5.35 ITV News Meridian 5.50 ITV News & Weather 6.00 Catchphrase Mother’s Day Special Stephen Mulhern hosts a Mother’s Day edition of the classic game show. Celebrities Kimberly Walsh, David Walliams and Emma Willis line up to say what they see, with the help of their mums. They compete to identify well-known phrases to win thousands of pounds for their chosen charities.

7.00 Surprise Surprise Mother’s Day Special See highlights 8.00 Endeavour Crime drama series about the young Detective Constable Endeavour Morse.

10.00 ITV News & Weather 10.15 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Geri Halliwell In her most revealing interview yet, pop star Geri Halliwell talks to Piers Morgan about her incredible rise to fame and what life was really like in the most successful girl band in history – the Spice Girls 11.15 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Series taking a look behind the scenes at Steve and Terri Irwin’s Australia Zoo. The Zoo gets its first male alligator and a black swan is rescued from the roof of a suburban home.

11.45 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership Highlights from the latest round of the Aviva Premiership.

12.40am The Store 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.10am Garmin Arenacross 6.35 Garmin Arenacross 7.00 Garmin Arenacross 7.30 Swisse Mark Webber Tasmania Challenge 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm Secret Eaters 1.35 The Big Bang Theory 2.05 The Big Bang Theory 2.35 How I Met Your Mother 3.00 How I Met Your Mother 3.30 The Simpsons 4.00 The Simpsons 4.30 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 FILM: Home Alone (1990) 7.30 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Dambusters’ Great Escape: Secret History World War II documentary recounting the Allied raid in which Nazi Germany’s most powerful battleship, Tirpitz, was finally sunk after 34 attempts. In November 1944, the RAF sent in the 617 ‘Dambusters’ Squadron and 9 Squadron to attack the ship, which was protected by an elite squadron of German fighters.

With eyewitness accounts from surviving RAF crew, one of the Luftwaffe fighter pilots and German sailors who were on Tirpitz that day, the film examines how the German defences were eventually breached.

9.00 FILM: The Woman In Black (2012) Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Mary Stockley. British horror. A young lawyer travels to a remote village where he discovers the vengeful ghost of a scorned woman is terrorising the locals.

10.50 FILM: Orphan (2009) Starring Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard. Tense psychological thriller about a couple who, after the death of their unborn child, adopt a mysterious nine-year old girl with a disturbing past.

1.00am The Good Wife 1.45 The Hotel 2.40 Secret Removers Property 3.40 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 4.00 SuperScrimpers 4.55 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00-8.10am Children’s TV. 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 Angelina Ballerina 8.35 Rupert Bear 8.50 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Jelly Jamm 9.20 LazyTown 9.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.55 Milkshake! Show Songs 10.00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10.35 Power Rangers: Megaforce 11.10 FILM: Hoodwinked (2005) 12.35pm FILM: Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) 2.40 FILM: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) 4.20 FILM: A Bug’s Life (1998) 6.10 Tesco Mum Of The Year Awards 2014 Highlights of the ninth annual awards ceremony hosted by Emma Willis from the Savoy in London.

Live performances by X Factor winner Sam Bailey and Boyzone. The event honours inspirational mums who have made a difference to their communities 7.05 5 News Weekend 7.10 FILM: Bulletproof Monk (2003) Starring Chow Yun-Fat, Seann William Scott, Jaime King, Karel Roden and Victoria Smurfit. Martial arts comedy, based on the comic book strip of the same name, in which a Tibetan monk enlists the help of a pickpocket in order to protect an immortality-giving scroll from a new generation of Nazis.

9.00 Top 40 Ultimate Action Movies Action film star Vinnie Jones presents a countdown of the best action moments in Hollywood.

11.55 FILM: Point Break (1991) Starring Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves. FBI special agent goes undercover with a gang of surfers suspected of being the infamous bank robbers known as the ‘Ex-Presidents’.

2.20am SuperCasino 3.05 Benidorm ER 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 The Funky Valley Show 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.10 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Hana’s Helpline 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

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Sky Sports 1 6.00am Football League Gold 6.15 Football League Gold 6.30 Football League Gold 6.45 Football League Gold 7.00 Ringside 8.00 Game Changers 9.00 Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Spanish Football 12.30am Ford Football Special 2.00 Spanish Football 3.00 Ford Football Special 4.30 Football’s Greatest 5.00 Football League Gold 5.15 Football League Gold 5.30 Football League Gold 5.45 Football League Gold

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Spanish Football 7.00 ICC World T20 Zone 9.00 Spanish Football 10.00 LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 2.00pm Live ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 6.00 Sporting Greats 6.30 Sporting Greats 7.00 Football Gold 7.15 Football Gold 7.30 Football Gold 7.45 Football Gold 8.00 ICC World T20 Zone 10.00 ICC World T20 Zone 12.00am Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 1.00 ICC World T20 Zone 3.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 4.00 ICC World T20 Zone

Sky Sports 3 4.25am LIVE IRB Sevens Rugby 1.00pm Football Gold 1.15 Football Gold 1.30 LIVE Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 ATP Masters Tennis 6.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Super Rugby Extra Time 9.30 Cycling 10.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 11.00 This Week In WWE 11.30 WWE Vintage 12.30am Super Rugby Extra Time 1.00 WWE From The Vault 2.00 Super Rugby Extra Time 2.30 Football Gold 2.45 Football Gold 3.00 Cycling 3.30 Max Power 4.30 Super Rugby Extra Time 5.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy

Zoe Thomas

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm Sinbad 1.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 2.00 Futurama (x2) 3.00 Modern Family (x5) 5.30 The Simpsons (x3) 7.00 Modern Family 7.30 The Simpsons (x3) 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Border Invasion USA 12.00am Border Invasion USA (x4) 4.00 Emergency Abroad (x2)

7.00pm The Voice UK 9.15 Hair 10.15 Family Guy 11.00 American Dad! 11.25 Bluestone 42 11.55 Bluestone 42 12.25am Wilfred 12.50 Wilfred 1.10 Wilfred 1.30 Wilfred 1.50 Wilfred 2.15 Bad Education 2.45 Bluestone 42 3.15 Bluestone 42 3.45 Kerry

7.00pm Full Throttle: The Glory Days Of British Motorbikes 8.00 The Review Show 9.00 The Poet Who Loved The War: Ivor Gurney 10.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Julian Barnes 11.00 What Do Artists Do All Day? 11.30 The Pendle Witch Child 12.30am Full Throttle: The Glory Days Of British Motorbikes

1.10pm Britain’s Got More Talent 2.15 You’ve Been Framed! 2.45 FILM: Kangaroo Jack (2003) 4.35 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 6.00 FILM: Casper (1995) 8.00 FILM: Two Weeks’ Notice (2002) 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.50 Party Wright Around The World 11.50 The Big Reunion 1.20am Mom (x2)

1.40pm The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 2.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.50 Rosemary And Thyme 4.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 The Zoo 9.00 Les Dawson: An Audience With That Never Was 10.05 FILM: Parenthood (1989) 12.35am Cracker 1.35 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

12.35pm Revenge 1.35 Rude(ish) Tube (x2) 2.30 2 Broke Girls (x2) 3.30 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 4.30 How I Met Your Mother 5.00 The Tomorrow People 6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 8.00 FILM: Grease (1978) 10.15 Rude Tube 11.20 My Mad Fat Diary 12.25am Rules Of Engagement (x2)

12.40pm Shipping Wars (x2) 1.40 Four In A Bed (x5) 4.20 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.00 The Taste USA 8.00 Shipping Wars (x2) 9.00 The Edwardian Grand Designer: Time Team Special 10.00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.05am Shameless USA 1.20 Obsessive Compulsive

11.00am Arizona Raiders (1965) 1.00pm Big (1988) 3.00 Honey, I Blew Up The Kid (1992) 4.45 Holy Man (1998) 6.55 Three Men And A Baby (1987) 9.00 Hitman (2007) 10.45 Rising Sun (1993) 1.20am Battle Royale (2000) 3.45 Close

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City Of...Caring

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029_LS671_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 20/03/2014 15:45 Page 1

Monday 31 The Widower ITV1, 9pm Part three and it’s the final episode. Reece Shearsmith really can be quite alarming and his smile has becoming less charming as he plays real life murderer Malcolm Webster.

Simone’s blissfully ignorant of this though, and that he’s already married when he proposes. Will the cops save her in time? Gulp.

Our Gay Wedding: The Musical Channel 4, 10pm Oh my giddy aunt! Well, more likely Benjamin Till and Nathan Taylor’s giddy aunts, as they arrange one of the first same sex marriages in the UK. And to make it extra special – as if it hasn’t already got several types of shiny – the singing guests include pop stars and more. Yay!

Mom ITV2, 9pm & 9.30pm Have you seen this? You might have, but this is your chance to see the latest E4 comedy import from the start. Created by Chuck Lorre (Big Bang Theory, Roseanne, Dharma & Greg) and starring Anna Faris, this follows a single mother, her daughter, her mother and... well, you get the maternal idea. Lawks, the laughs.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Saints And Scroungers 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 More Creatures Great And Small 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Bang Goes The Theory Series presenting the science behind the headlines. The team investigate the ill effects of old age. Dad dancing.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Mick decides to delve further into his mysterious encounter, but will he get the answer he was hoping for?

8.30 Panorama Another report from the weekly current affairs programme.

9.00 Silk Legal drama series. Martha is becoming increasingly isolated as she fights to defend ex-boyfriend Sean against overwhelming evidence.

Martha begins to wonder if she’s cut out for this world. As she begins to uncover further lies Sean has told, Martha is shocked when she has to rely on an old enemy if she is to have any hope of clearing his name.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show Celebrity chat with comedian Michael McIntyre. With Gary Barlow, Bear Grylls and Nigella Lawson.

11.20 Late Kick Off Jacqui Oatley presents the football magazine.

11.50 Live At The Apollo Jack Whitehall presents a selection of North America’s finest comics.

12.35am Weatherview 12.40 News

BBC2

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Rip Off Britain: Food 7.50 Watchdog Test House 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 The Restaurant Man 10.05 Great British Railway Journeys 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Cash In The Attic 1.30 The Nature Of Britain 2.30 Cagney And Lacey 3.15 Himalaya With Michael Palin 4.15 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 The Voice: Louder On Two Zoe Ball gives exclusive access to behind the scenes at The Voice UK. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques experts travel across the UK searching for treasures that will make the most profit at auction.

8.00 University Challenge In the last of the semi-finals and the penultimate match in the series.

8.30 Mary Berry Cooks In this penultimate episode, she is throwing a casual weekday supper.

9.00 The Plantagenets Professor Robert Bartlett charts the downfall of the Plantagenet dynasty. In the last century of their rule four Plantagenet kings are violently deposed and murdered by members of their own family.

10.00 Rev Comedy.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman.

11.20 Louis Theroux’s LA Stories Documentary series placing life in Los Angeles under the microscope.

12.20am Sign Zone: Viking Art: A Culture Show Special 4.00 Michael Mosely: Infested! Living With Parasites 4.30 The Science Of Space Dive – Learning Zone 5.00 Your Paintings 5.25 Your Paintings 5.55 Wonders Of Nature: Elephant – Importance Of Water

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The Dingles are horrified when Belle is charged.

Katie tries to convince Chas to give James another chance. Val catches Jacob doing a dodgy deal.

7.30 Coronation Street Will Carla ever find the right moment? Phelan tightens his grip on the Windass family. Sally is concerned for Sophie.

8.00 I Never Knew That About Britain Paul Martin heads off to Bathgate in Scotland, birthplace of the oil industry and the world’s first oil tycoon, and Suzannah Lipscomb finds out how a 17th century coffee house was the forerunner of the London Stock Exchange.

8.30 Coronation Street Peter is left dumbstruck by Tina’s curveball. Can heartbroken Eva forgive Stella? Sally barks up the wrong tree.

9.00 The Widower See highlights.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Agenda 11.10 Inside Death Row With Trevor McDonald Trevor McDonald goes inside one of America’s most notorious maximum security prisons – Indiana State – where he comes face-to-face with 12 condemned men awaiting execution.

12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Undercover Boss Canada 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 River Cottage Bites 12.10 FILM: Reap The Wild Wind (1942) 2.40 Countdown 3.30 Deal Or No Deal 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Finn’s suspicions grow, but does he really believe his sister is to blame?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Nigel Farage: Who Are You? Documentary in which controversial filmmaker Martin Durkin follows UKIP leader Nigel Farage. Not in a sneaky fashion – he knows he’s there.

8.30 Shop Secrets: Tricks Of The Trade Harry Wallop puts hidden cameras inside shops, market stalls and restaurants across the country and sends in a team of super sellers to trick and scam unsuspecting customers, showing how vulnerable we are to both legitimate and shifty sales techniques.

9.00 One Born Every Minute Fly-on-the-wall documentary series following staff and patients on a labour ward at Southmead hospital, Bristol. A couple prepare to face the reality of their surprise pregnancy, and parents who know that their baby has serious medical complications prepare for labour.

10.00 Our Gay Wedding: The Musical See highlights.

11.05 Gogglebox Television review comedy series.

12.10am Random Acts 12.15 FILM: Little Children (2006) 2.30 Hostages 3.15 The Good Wife 4.05 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 4.10 SuperScrimpers 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Benidorm ER 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.20 Access 3.25 FILM: The Pledge (2008) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ricky and Nate want to stay cocooned in their love bubble after getting together, but how long can they protect their relationship from prying eyes?

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked tech consumer show.

8.00 Police Interceptors Observational documentary series following the high-speed law enforcers of Lincolnshire.

9.00 Conned, Fleeced And Left For Broke Documentary revealing the dangers of being too trusting.

Three women tell how they were emotionally manipulated and ruthlessly defrauded by their best friends.

10.00 The Disappearance Of Flight 370 Documentary. On Saturday 8th March, Malaysian Airlines flight 370 took off for Beijing from Kuala Lumpur with 239 passengers and crew on board -around one hour after take-off the Boeing 777 vanished from the radar screens. This film tells the story of a mystery which has shaken modern aviation to its core.

11.00 FILM: Blood Work (2002) Starring Clint Eastwood, Jeff Daniels, Anjelica Huston. Crime thriller.

1.10am SuperCasino 3.05 Dangerous Drivers’ School 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Nick’s Quest 5.35 Nick’s Quest

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Football Gold 10.45 Football Gold 11.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 12.00pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.30 Football League Gold 12.45 Football League Gold 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.30 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 3.30 Spanish Football 4.00 Game Changers 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 FL72 Review 7.00 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 11.00 FL72 Review 12.00am SPFL Round-Up 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Ford Monday Night Football 4.00 FL72 Review 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Brian Lara Masterclass 7.00 ICC World T20 Zone 9.00 Brian Lara Masterclass 10.00 LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 2.00pm LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 6.00 Super League Full Time 7.00 Sporting Greats 8.00 ICC World T20 Zone 10.00 The Pistorius Trial 10.30 ICC World T20 Zone 12.30am Brian Lara Masterclass 1.30 The Pistorius Trial 2.00 Super League Full Time 3.00 Brian Lara Masterclass 4.00 ICC World T20 Zone

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Super League 10.00 Super League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Super Rugby Extra Time 12.00pm Super League 2.00 Super League: Grand Final Gold 3.00 Super League 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Football Gold 7.30 Super Rugby Extra Time 8.00 IRB Sevens Rugby 9.00 Super Rugby Extra Time 10.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw Live 4.15 WWE Wrestlemania Preview 4.30 Arm Wars 5.00 The Footballers’ Football Show Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

10.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: LA (x2) 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 3.00 The Middle (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x4) 8.30 Modern Family (x2) 9.30 About A Boy 10.00 Stella 11.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.00am An Idiot Abroad 3

7.00pm The Women’s Football Show 7.30 Would I Lie To You? 8.00 Junior Paramedics 9.00 Life And Death Row 10.00 Growing Up Down’s 11.00 Family Guy (x3) 12.10am Life And Death Row 1.10 Kris: Dying To Live 2.05 Impractical Jokers 2.35 Fuzzbox 3.00 Life And Death Row

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 New Hidden Killers Of The Victorian Home 9.00 Mission To Mars: A Horizon Special 10.00 Storyville: The Life And Time Of Tim Hetherington 11.15 Fossil Wonderlands: Nature’s Hidden Treasures 12.15am The Walshes

4.10pm Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Mom (x2). See highlights. 10.00 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 11.55 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.55am Dads (x2)

11.55am The House Of Eliott 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.20 Home To Roost 4.55 Second Thoughts 5.20 The Upper Hand 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Long Lost Family 10.00 The Reckoning 11.00 The Vice 12.15am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

4.00pm New Girl 4.30 Happy Endings 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 Revenge 10.00 My Mad Fat Diary 11.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 12.00am Revenge

11.15am FILM: The Tall Stranger (1957) 12.55pm Celebrity Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.35 A Place In The Sun 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 Building The Dream 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Great Canal Journeys 10.00 One Born: What Happened Next?

11.10 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Grand Designs

11.00am Father Goose (1964) 1.15pm Damn The Defiant! (1962) 3.15 The Admirable Crichton (1957) 5.05 The Enemy Below (1957) 7.05 Big Momma’s House (2000) 9.00 Die Hard 2 (1990) 11.20 Man On Fire (2004) 2.10am Persepolis (2007) 4.00 Close

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