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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove ICEX Brighton chef Michael Bremner trades places with Chef Bas Oonk of Basaal in Den Haag

★ jobs ★ food ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★


11 – 17 March 2014


SOMETHING DIFFERENT The Quaint Queer Weird Wedding Fair SUNRISE Up & ready for Brighton Festival 2014

Topclass Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton page 05

A NEW YOU Win a 30-day VibroFit pass & a hair makeover TV TIMES Behind the scenes of Latest TV ahead of its launch on Channel 8

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11–17 MAR 2014


Online now: Great giveaways, Tim Ridgway’s Latest News; Frank Le Duc; Andrew Kay, CelebCity, What’s On listings, film previews, Brighton & Hove Albion and the Latest Brighton Download Chart.

06 Latest Brighton & Hove News The Vote with Frank le Duc and seven days of headlines with Tim Ridgway 10 Celeb City The Feeling, Bill & Ted and Ralph Fiennes 12 Bare Cheek Five reasons to see their show... 13 Brighton Writes Lynn Ruth embraces life; Vanessa eats meat 18 Andrew Kay Airport drama on the way to Holland 18 Competitions Win a makeover at Forde Hair and VibroFit passes

Latest Homes is available on your mobile or tablet. Search for a property, day or night, wherever you are Register with us to stay posted on new properties coming to the market. As soon as the agent has been instructed, it appears on the site! Fill in your criteria to get matched to the perfect property. It’s easy

Lynn Ruth Miller’s show returns Latest 7 columnist, Latest TV star (and Britian’s Got Talent contestant!) Lynn Ruth Miller is back in the UK and loving it. The 80-year-old star is taking her To&st award-winning show Granny’s Gone Wild to London’s Soho Theatre (11–22 March). Directed by Bill Smith and produced by Latest TV, it’s a show not to be missed! Welcome back to this side of the pond, Lynn Ruth! Catch Granny’s Gone Wild in London while you can or watch her shows at

For details of advertising opportunities with Please contact Lesley 01273 818150

LIFESTYLE 04 Latest People All the photos from recent events and launches 05 On the cover: Theatre Royal Brighton Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion on stage 07 Marina Life Try out the exciting new menu at Pizza Hut 08 Brighton Festival The sun comes up on a fantastic Festival with guest director Hofesh Shechter leading the way 11 Quaint Queer Weird Wedding Fair The alternative wedding fair comes to Brighton 15 Hotlist Tuck in with Brighton Hen Tea & Treats 16 Health & Beauty Brighton Half Marathon, wellbeing, KeraStraight at Trevor Sorbie and Latest Style with Rhatia Renée






Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless


Latest Homes Sales Director Lesley Lawrence Latest 7 Advertising Manager Rachel Simm Creative Director Andrew Kay

22 Reviews; Booking now; Music Chart & Clubs The Lady In The Van, Bonobo and more


Hush Hush Presents: Under The Surface; House On Fire; The Art Club; London Commands You; Devil In Detail Wednesday, March 12th, 2014, 7.30pm, £4

Latest Group

19 What’s On Hedwig & The Angry Itch, Joel Dommett interview and Bombay Bicycle Club

Latest 7/Homes Editor Zara Baker Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Jason Weaver Staff writers Sade Ali Vanessa Austin Locke

Amy In The Winehouse Amy classics delivered in a way that only Laura knows how. Expect adult humour, foul language, shots, wine and a whole bunch of Amy classics. Friday, March 14th, 2014, 9pm,£8 Jo Brooks Joe Fuller Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller Alastair Reid Zoe Thomas Latest 7 interns Lily Blackmore Kyle Moon Rhiannon Pulling

Website & IT

Andy Nicholls William Ranieri Yuki Stephenson Latest TV intern Megan Plumstead

Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Latest News

Frank le Duc Jenni Davidson Jay Legate (Sport) Latest news intern Ceirney Eddie

Latest TV Val Aviv David Cuff

Latest MusicBar Ruth Ratner James Charter Stella Pitt Ali Cluney-Hickford Steve Parfrement Latest MusicBar intern Andrew McClean

23 Brighton After Dark More house parties and The Vibrators 24 TV Listings Behind the scenes with Latest TV; Seven days of TV listings

Editorial: Advertising:

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

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Peppa Pig at Churchill Square; Circus Street spin Rocking Horse Ryan’s Run; Masquerade Ball

Peppa Pig starring at Brighton’s Churchill Square

World Record performer at Circus Street

Loveable children’s character Peppa Pig, from the hit children's TV show of the same name, visited Churchill Square Shopping Centre during half term to mark the 10th anniversary of Peppa Pig, who has become a favourite among children worldwide.

Peppa Pig fan

A world record holding performer was one of many exciting acts and entertainers at The Spin free family event at Circus Street Market this Saturday February 22 from 12-4pm. Nik won a Guinness World Record in 2012 for jumping over 400 times on the wheel of his penny farthing bicycle. The spin was the final big event in Brighton’s first Love Your Bike Week, created by Groundwork South and Cathedral Group at Circus Street Market.


The Mayor’s Masquerade Valentine’s Ball at the Royal Pavilion

The Mayor of Brighton & Hove, Councillor Denise Cobb and Mayoress Jemma Elizabeth Garrett hosted a Masquerade Valentine’s Ball at the Royal Pavilion raising over £3000 in support of the Mayor’s charities, Age UK, The Argus Appeal, Martlets Hospice, Off the Fence and Rockinghorse. A drinks reception followed by a two course meal in the Royal Pavilion dining room followed by post-dinner entertainment at All Bar One, Pavilion Buildings.

Mayoress Jemma Elizabeth Garrett with Madam Mayor of Brighton & Hove, Councillor Denise Cobb

Ryan runs for son and Rockinghorse

Rockinghorse Chief Executive Ryan Heal with his son, John Heal

Brighton-based Rockinghorse, the official fundraising arm of the Royal Alexandra Children's Hospital (the Alex) and a vital supporter of the Trevor Mann Baby Unit (TMBU) is raising money for a brand new, nonsurgical unit for the childrens A&E department at the Alex. The team of Have a Heart and Rockinghorse runners included the Charity’s Chief Executive, Ryan Heal, who took part in the Brighton Half Marathon for the first time, completing the race in two hours and seven minutes. He raised £3,350, which he presented to the Rockinghorse team at a post-race reception at Gars Chinese restaurant on Prince Albert Street in Brighton. Ryan’s passion for the cause is much more than a job – his son, John Heal, aged 6, suffers from a rare

A guest wears a stunning masquerade mask

blood condition called ITP which has resulted in ongoing treatment at the Alex, as well as visits to Great Ormond Street Hospital in London. John was diagnosed back in November 2011, and although there are no signs of imminent improvement, the Heal family take great comfort in supporting Rockinghorse together. Ryan says: “I’ve always put my family first in all I do and this is no exception – I just happen to be Chief Exec of Rockinghorse too! I think ALL charity bosses should lead by example and take on one challenge every year. In my case it’s easy as my son is the motivation I need.” The charity is still looking for runners to join the team and run the Brighton Marathon on Sunday 6 April. To sign-up, visit the website, email or call 01273 330044.

Ryan Heal and the Rockinghorse team

Ryan Heal with his wife Anne Heal and their children Elizabeth, John and Emma

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THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON Shaw’s trademark wit, style and provocative insights, as well as a beguiling and enduring humour. A classic British drama.


o ve r • e ccover • o o



listair McGowan reprises his West End role as Henry Higgins in a new production of Bernard Shaw’s best known play, Pygmalion, which comes to Theatre Royal Brighton from Monday 17 – Saturday 22 March as part of a national tour. In Pygmalion, the aristocratic and egocentric Professor of Phonetics Henry Higgins makes a bet with his friend, the amiable Colonel Pickering, that he can transform the manners


n t he ••oon the coco

Working class meets upper class in Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion at the Theatre Royal Brighton

h e c ov e n t th e c o v e r r

r • on veer • on thth

High society

and speech of Cockney flower girl Eliza Doolittle and pass her off as a lady in society. Packed with a host of larger than life characters, including Alfred Doolittle and lovelorn Freddy Eynsford-Hill, Pygmalion remains one of the most popular of Bernard Shaw’s plays and is perhaps best known as the inspiration for the Lerner and Loewe musical My Fair Lady. This ever-entertaining dramatic tour de force is full of

BAFTA award-winning Alistair McGowan stars as Henry Higgins, a role he played at the Garrick Theatre in 2011. Regarded as one of the most talented people working in entertainment today, he is a writer, impressionist and comic and has established himself as a formidable actor in recent years, receiving critical acclaim for several West End appearances including Little Shop Of Horrors, for which he received an Olivier Award nomination. Rula Lenska joins Alistair to play Mrs Higgins and Jamie Foreman will play Alfred Doolittle. Rula is a one of our leading stage and television actors with appearances in several major TV series including her role as Claudia Colby in Coronation Street.


Jamie Foreman has over 30 film credits to his name including Layer Cake and Polanski’s Oliver Twist. Rising star Rachel Barry will play Eliza. Rachel was most recently seen in the West End in Michael Grandage’s acclaimed production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Tony awardwinning David Grindley directs. His work is seen on both sides of the Atlantic and he won a Tony Award in 2007 for his production of Journey’s End. Do not miss this major revival of Pygmalion, one of the best loved plays of the 20th century. Pygmalion, Theatre Royal Brighton, Monday 17–Saturday 22 March. To book tickets: 0844 871 7650** *booking fees apply

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latest brighton & hove news

Frank le Duc

TheVote The spread of internet porn has prompted councillors to look at the way lessons about sex and relationships are taught


Brighton and Hove secondary school teacher estimated last week that almost all 15 and 16year-old boys would have porn or other inappropriate pictures on their phones. And most girls of the same age would at the very least have been sent material that they wouldn’t want to show their parents. It’s not just Internet porn though. Sexting – sending explicit photos by text message – and cyber-bullying are widespread enough to have prompted the Prime Minister David Cameron to speak out.

Now members of Brighton and Hove City Council are being asked to help tackle a situation that did not exist when they were at school. At a meeting of the council’s Children and Young People Committee on Monday 10th March they were asked to support a review of local sex education guidance, which was issued in 2003. It predates the first 3G phones – those with video – in 2004, and the addition of the word sexting to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2011. Photographs: VisitBrighton

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on our tourist industry


ur tourism industry is thriving, with visitor numbers continuing to grow. But we cannot be complacent; tourists are comparing us with cities across the world. Our city’s pull has been its continual reinvention and the diversity of its attractions. The seafront is clearly a major part of what brings people to visit us. We have succeeded thanks to the incredible infrastructure the Victorians left us. Sadly it is now reaching the end of its life, and the repair bill is estimated to be at

least £70 million pounds, if not significantly more. That ageing legacy is particularly telling in the area around the West Pier, including Preston Street, which has long awaited regeneration. That’s why we are glad that plans for a government loan to bring the i360 tower to the area have been approved. It also has strong support from local resident and business groups, the Local Enterprise Partnership and others, including nearby hotels and venues. We are fortunate to have the team behind the hugely successful London Eye ready to build their next landmark attraction in our city. Many other cities would give

A report to councillors said that the context of the review was “the high profile being given to the subject nationally in supporting children and young people to understand concepts such as consent and develop the skills to keep themselves safe and develop healthy relationships which are free from violence and exploitation”. Also, PHSE (personal, social and health education) will no longer form part of the national curriculum from September. Most 14- to 16-year-old children in Brighton and Hove (80 per cent) are not having sex, according to a local survey in 2012. And more than half of those who are having sex said that they knew where to get free condoms, chlamydia tests and morning-after pills. Teenage pregnancy rates and levels of sexual infection locally are high. The report said: “At school level the variations in this data set reflect the model and quality of delivery. “In schools where there is tutor delivery of relationships and sex education, knowledge of services is lower. In schools where PSHE has high status (and) is delivered by specialist teachers as part of the curriculum, outcomes are improved. National recognition has also been given to resources produced in Brighton and Hove including Fantasy vs Reality, a resource produced in 2009 to support teaching about pornography.” Fantasy vs Reality cites a Home Office study, Sexualisation of Young People Review, saying: “Children and young people are exposed to an unprecedented range of media content, through an ever-growing number of channels and websites. Furthermore, the proportion of that content which is sexual or even pornographic is increasing at a dramatic rate.” The review said: “Teachers, health practitioners, youth workers, parents, local authorities and the government all report concerns regarding young people’s health and emotional well-being in relation to attitudes and values to sex, sexual

expectations, safer sex, relationships, body image, selfesteem and internet use. “For example, there are concerns about young teens posting sexually explicit images of themselves on web pages. Not all young people watch pornography, but many do, and the attitudes and values of pornography are becoming ‘normalised’ and therefore potentially impact on all children and young people.” Fantasy vs Reality also said: “No pornography will be shown in the teaching of this resource. However, in order to illustrate positive messages about the range of ‘normal’ body shapes and sizes to counteract those in the media, teachers may choose to show photographs of sexual organs as suggested in this resource. In addition students are encouraged to explore attitudes to sex and relationships that are portrayed in pornography. This resource therefore contains potentially sensitive material.” Councillors are expected to take another look at the subject at some point during the autumn term.

anything to attract such an opportunity. The figures behind the i360’s business plan are very robust; they have been independently checked three times over by some of the world’s leading tourism experts. Even if the i360 performed at similar levels to Portsmouth’s Spinnaker tower, which despite public perception has made over £3m

profit for their council, then the loans would be repaid. At a time of huge financial need the council would greatly benefit from new income generated by the i360 deal, whilst the surrounding area would finally get much needed regeneration. A new landmark from a world class team with a proven track record is a unique opportunity for our city. Let’s welcome it.

“There are concerns about young teens posting sexually explicit images of themselves on web pages”

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Tim Ridgway’s

Latest News

This week’s headlines from across the city

To build or not to build? There has been minor uproar in the east of the city as developers have confirmed they want to build more than 300 homes on land in Ovingdean. Lightwood Strategic said the plot, just off Falmer Road, is allocated for residential use in the city council’s development blueprint. But environmentalists are concerned about how it would impact on the nearby South Downs National Park while locals have had the inevitable infrastructure qualms. A public exhibition will be held on March 11 and 12 at Longhill School about the plans. “March off ” March for England is returning to Brighton next month - and nationalist and counter-protesters

are already drawing lines ahead of the protest in the city centre on April 27. What is billed as a celebration of Englishness has in previous years descended into clashes between rival groups with police struggling to keep them apart. With the 2013 policing bill reaching £500,000 and many business closing for the day, Geoffrey Theobald, leader of Brighton and Hove City Council’s Conservative group, has called for the march to be cancelled or re-routed. Cllr Theobald said: “We are very much against this and I have emailed those in charge to say as much. “I don’t think it is appropriate in our city centre and on the seafront. This is our shop window and this event no doubt puts people off coming to our city and spending money.”

Food for thought Food hygiene at the city’s thousands of eateries has gone under the microscope. A report from the city's food safety team has shown that more than nine out of ten restaurants fall into the top categories when it comes to hygiene. In total, the number of five starrated premises has also risen, from 1,311 in April 2012 to 1,469 in January of this year. But what about those at the other end of the food chain? Well, six premises have been prosecuted between April 2013 and January, most of these due to mouse or rat infestations. These include Maison du Vin in East Street and Sukhothai Palace in Middle Street. In the same period, 48 hygiene improvement notices were served and seven businesses voluntarily closed. All of which gives us plenty of food for thought when next choosing a place to wine and dine. To check out the ratings, visit School places out School place problems have been problem in Brighton and Hove since the city was created. But have officials finally found the code to solve the perennial “ticking time bomb”? This year 1,931, or 82%, of pupils were offered a place at their first choice secondary school to start in September 2014. In total, those offered one of their three top picks was more than 95% – down from 97% last year. But this still left 115 youngsters being sent to schools they did not choose. How many of those will appeal the decision is still not clear. Inn fashion The art of conversation is dying, right? Well, Rick and Ruth Evans and Dave and Ali White, who all live in Hove, certainly don't think so. The quartet are looking to convert York House Wines off-licence in Richardson Road, Hove into the city’s first micropub. If it receives planning permission, the "no frills" bar could offer the punters the chance to enjoy local beers and wine by the summer. I'll raise a glass to that.


Marina Life Kirsty Pollard on Pizza hut’s new menu launch


he new menu has launched at our Pizza Hut restaurant. It’s innovative and creative and embraces Pizza Hut Restaurants’ American Spirit created following extensive customer research, demand and feedback, and celebrates the essence of sharing and choice. The menu has been engineered to suit modern eating trends and create excitement, rather than just adding new items and presenting a static starter then main course option, the new menu offers abundant and craveable sides to accompany the main event. Pizza is still the star of the show alongside Chilli Beef Nachos, Alabama Popcorn Shrimp, BBQ ribs, fries and onion rings (all new) give guests choice and fun with their pizza. The menu might polarise the audience but everything will excite.

Taste and flavour is the hallmark of every item, so fries come with mustard mayo, also drizzled on the new American inspired pizza range, which includes the New York Deli, The Chicken Bacon Club, the Texas Meat Meltdown and the American Legends. The food helps create the experience at the Hut. Freshly made waffles are now available. New milk shakes are served in American diner style metal cans while new frosted glasses come with beer. The menu still has all the usual favourites, including the original Deep Pan, stuffed Crust and Cheesy Bites pizzas, now joined by the first Gluten free pizza base, this can be topped with any sauce and topping, also gluten free. The 500 calorie pizza is a customer favourite, and there are over 10 vegetarian options to choose from, every pizza is customisable, and the 35 item strong salad bar is still free and comes unlimited.


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Pic: Victor Frankowski

Brighton Festival 2014 descends on the city in May with Guest Director Hofesh Shechter


righton Festival 2014 (3–25 May) is fast approaching; the line-up has been announced, the tickets are on sale, and anticipation is building! Spanning all genres, it’s the most established mixed arts Festival in the country and offers something for every taste and age. This year, critically acclaimed choreographer, dancer and musician Hofesh Shechter takes on the role of Guest Director, and the Festival promises to be richer and more eclectic than ever before. Packing in 448 performances across 147 events in 34 venues throughout the city and beyond, and featuring a massive 37 premiers, exclusives and cocommissions – including 26 free events and events running for the full duration of the 23 days – it’s bursting with theatre, dance, music, literature, art, film, literary, outdoor, family and free events. The celebrations commence with the wonderful Children’s Parade; the largest of its kind

in Europe, featuring children from over 80 of Brighton’s schools. This year’s theme for the event is ‘The Arts’. The parade party atmosphere will continue throughout the day as young city musicians take to the streets to perform in various locations including Brighton Dome café-bar and the Royal Pavilion as part of SoundCity’s inaugural Pitch Perfect. Hofesh’s appointment as Guest Director reflects his five-year relationship with Brighton Dome and Brighton Festival. The opening nights of the Festival celebrate his new work Sun, when it comes home to Brighton at the conclusion of its first world tour. In Sun Dust – a Brighton Festival exclusive – Hofesh will discuss the creative process and philosophy of his work, whilst a collection of his dancers present some of his extraordinary and previously unseen choreography.  Other dance gems not to be missed include Ultima Vez’s breathtaking Talk To The Demon, from renowned Belgian choreographer Wim

Vandekeybus and the world premiere of Lost Dog & Lucy Kirkwood’s Like Rabbits; an intimate and pulse-raising piece based upon the short story Lappin And Lapinova by Virginia Woolf. Theatre lovers will rejoice at the UK premiere of Dmitry Krymov Lab’s Opus No. 7. Conceived and produced by the renowned Russian director, the production is an immense piece of bold theatre. Brighton Festival also plays host to the world premiere of Vanishing Point’s Tomorrow; a cerebral and dreamlike piece of extraordinary theatre. Other stage highlights include Cheek By Jowl’s ’Tis Pity She’s A Whore and a Brighton-wide search for happiness in the marvellous and innovative Bring The Happy from Festival favourites Invisible Flock.  This year’s circus programme is both expansive and genre-defying. Sinué by Feria Musica promises spellbinding and sophisticated acrobatics, whilst Pirates Of The Carabina present their jaw-dropping contemporary circus show Flown. For music fans, American singer and songwriter Cat Power is a unique treat, as she performs music from her self produced album Sun, whilst country music icon Emmylou Harris makes a rare Brighton appearance. For classical music fans, Philharmonia Orchestra return to the Pic: Pirje Mykknen

Pic: Katherine Leedale

Like Rabbits

On Balance – The Wonderful World of Abstraction by Jakob Dahlgren

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Pic: Gabriele Zucca

Hofesh Shechter’s Sun

festival, Aurora Orchestra take a fresh look at Mahler in KlezMahler and the unmissable Angela Hewitt graces the glorious Glyndebourne stage. 2014 also marks the British composer Sir Harrison Birtwistle’s 80th birthday, and the Festival celebrates the occasion by presenting a weekend of special events in his honour; the highlight is a new production of his 1969 Brighton Festival commission Down By The Greenwood Side. The ever popular lunchtime concerts also provide a wealth of talent including Amarillis Trio and Aquarelle Guitar Quartet. Brighton Festival is renowned for its visual arts offerings, and 2014 is no exception. William Forsythe’s Nowhere and Everywhere at the Same Time is an exquisite exploration of choreography and art in which the viewer is invited to become involved in the work, altering the rhythm of hundreds of perpetually swinging pendulums by moving between them. The rich palette of visual delight continues in Jacob Dahlgren’s On Balance at Fabrica, whilst Yinka Shonibare MBE’s The British


Library explores immigration and British culture at The Old Reference Library.   Other programme highlights include Jeremy Deller, Zara McFarlane, David McCandless, Martin Creed, Peaches, Irvine Welsh, Hauschka and many more.  Brighton Festival, 3–25 May 2014. For the full Brighton Festival 2014 programme and to book tickets, visit Tickets also available by calling 01273 709709

“Brighton Festival 2014 is bursting with theatre, dance, music, literature, art, film, literary, outdoor, family and free events” Pic :Matilda Temperley


Emmylou Harris


Opus No7.

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Celebcity with Jo Brooks Jake Sharpstone, The Feeling, Bill & Ted’s birthday, celebrity art & a landmark wedding coming to town


It looks like Brighton now boasts its own Bruce Lee, with local martial arts superstar Jake Sharpstone being awarded one the highest possible honours in the combat art. Jake now ranks as one of the most elite ‘Ninjutsu’ fighters in the world – ranking even higher than Chuck Norris, Jet Li and Bruce Lee himself! The Brighton-based lighting technician is known by his warrior name ‘Genteel Dragon’ and has received the rank of ‘15th dan’ (‘really, really good’ to you and me) from grand master Maasaki Hatsumi – he of very trendy purple hair. Speaking to The Daily Star about his role as Brighton’s biggest kick-ass, Jake explained: “Part of Ninjutsu is secrecy. It would not be very secret of me to walk through the streets of Brighton covered head-to-toe in black.” What a shame – we’d love a local street-ninja!


The Feeling are back in Brighton this month to play at the brilliant Concorde 2. We caught up with them to discuss Brighton memories before they bring hits such as ‘Never Be Lonely’ and ‘Fill My Little World’ to the coast on 24th March. What are your favourite Brighton memories? “Some of our first gigs were in Horatio’s on the end of the pier when we were teenagers. We had to get all the gear from the road to the end of the pier on a massive trolley, which took ages. Ciaran’s leg was in plaster, so he had to go on the trolley too!”

What would be on your ‘Brighton’ Spotify playlist? “Loads of mid-’90s grungy stuff. That’s what everyone was listening to and playing when we first gigged in Brighton, which is how I’ll always remember it.” What can we expect from the upcoming tour? “We always make sure we play the songs people know us for [Love It When You Call, Fill My Little World, Never Be Lonely], plus a good few songs from our new album, Boy Cried Wolf. The new songs sit really well alongside the others, and have been getting as good a reception as them too. It's probably the best live set we’ve ever had.” And finally – Palace Pier or West Pier? “We've not done a gig underwater yet, which the West Pier would be ideal for now! Though a return to Horatio’s might be cool.”-

St Wilfrid’s Hospice in Eastbourne has just launched its second Big Art Secret exhibition at the Towner Gallery, featuring over 1,300 postcard sized pieces of art from local artists, international celebrities and many more. Among the celebrities who have contributed artwork is English artist Grayson Perry, comedian Graham Norton, hospice patron and TV presenter David Dimbleby, TV personality Andrew Marr, 2012 Olympic gold medallist Katherine Grainger, actor and director Tom Conti, Squeeze member Chris Difford, actor Ralph Fiennes and many more. However, no one will know the name of the artist behind each piece until the auction ends on 23 March!

The Grand Budapest Hotel star, actor Ralph Fiennes, has submitted art to the Eastbourne auction


Alongside our Emma, cult film creation Bill & Ted celebrate their 25th birthday this year, with original film Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure å in 1989. The quarter-century old film franchise has a surprising link with our fair city with hilarious sequel – Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey – becoming the debut film of successful Brighton filmdirector Peter Hewitt back in 1991. The film marked the first in many successes for BAFTA-award-winning Hewitt – from TV series The Borrowers (remember that!) to the Rupert Grint fronted Thunderpants; just another reminder of the rich creativity our city has offered to the world! If we manage to squeeze it in around Emma’s celebrations we’ll be sure to raise a glass to Bill and Ted this month. Bodacious, dude!

You may not know their names now but this Brighton couple will be going into the history books: Andrew Wale and Neil Allard are going to be the first ever same-sex couple to be married in the UK. Andrew and Neil, who have chosen the beautiful Royal Pavilion for their 00:01 wedding on April 1st, will be married as soon as the law legally allows. Wale, 49, explained: “I feel so lucky to live in a country where human rights and equality are moving in the right direction, and in a city with such an impressive history of tolerance and inclusion.” What with this and Brighton’s Pride festival all confirmed for August we’ve got a lot to look forward to in Brighton and Hove’s LGBT calendar!

Have you spotted a celeb in the city?

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to

Follow me: latestcelebcity

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What’s special about a Brighton crowd? “Three of us grew up in Sussex, so we've always got lots of friends and family at our Brighton gigs, which makes them special for us.”



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Perfect match The Quaint Queer Weird alternative wedding fair comes to the Corn Exchange


he Quaint, Queer Weird (QQW) Wedding Spectacular opens at midday on Saturday 15 March at Brighton’s Corn Exchange. Celebrating everything alternative, retro, LGBT and funky vintage in the wedding world, over 60 extraordinary exhibitors will be displaying their stunning and unusual wedding fashion,

accessories, photography, cakes, millenary, jewellery and more. Throughout the day, there is burlesque dancing and risqué entertainment making QQW completely unique. Exhibitor highlights include Skin Candy Tattoo Studio, world class body painter

Exhibitor : Feathered Fantasy Photo – Zara Price

Exhibitor: Anna Pumer

Victoria Gugenheim, JuliaArts, high end doggy fashion from doggydoodles, a Celebrant ceremony performed by Gabrielle Stirling, unique accessories from Sanguinem Libidine, clothing from Victorian Gothic, Oh My Honey and Dig for Victory, Corsets by Chrissie Nicholson-Wilde, See Saw Sea – Brighton’s sexiest hotel, magic and oddities from Leon Simmonds, and Humphrey – the VW Party Bus. A full exhibitor list is available on the QQW website.



the place for parties! Atmospheric Affordable Available any night You book it We make it happen Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office parties Business events Hen & Stag nights Tell us what you want We provide it all

There is also the chance to win a VIP package for the day and a share of the ‘Prize Bonanza’ which every one of our exhibitors donates a prize to. Raffle tickets cost £1 each. Tickets cost £5 from exhibitor Dig For Victory (Edward Street, Brighton) or on the door. The Quaint, Queer Weird Wedding Spectacular, 12pm, Sat 15 March, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome. Visit for tickets and more info. 20% online discount when you quote ‘QQWLATEST’ at the Eventbrite checkout.

this week> Tues 11 Have A Word LGBTQI arts performance spoken word & music events 7pm £6 Wed 12 Tango Boot Camp Argentine Tango with TangoBootCamp 8-11.30pm £8 whole night/£5 OR £3.50 social dancing only/£3 Cabaret Bar Hush Hush Presents: Under The Surface, House On Fire, The Art Club, London Commands You, Devil In Detail 7.30pm £4 Thurs 13 Catalyst Club Monthly event which blends the old traditions of a French salon with debating societies 8pm £6 Fri 14 Amy In The Winehouse A Friday night with some serious balls 8.30pm £8

Call Ruth or Stella on

01273 687171 or email 14 –17 manchester street Advance tickets from



Bare Cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

es! It’s that time once more when we sully these oncehallowed pages by shamelessly plugging one of our own shows. But this week’s offering is something really very special indeed – a brand new co-production by the award-winning companies Driftwood Productions and The Foundry Group. We’d simply hate you to miss out on what promises to be one of the very best nights out you will ever enjoy. But if you’re still not convinced, here are five reasons that might sway you:


It’s a hilarious comedy musical, a Swinging-Sixties-set satire about the re-branding of a leading household product that goes horribly wrong, written by the celebrated duo Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon, authors of the award-winning festival hits ‘Big Daddy Vs. Giant Haystacks’ and ‘Seven Studies In Salesmanship’, (and of this highly-esteemed weekly humorous column! )


It boasts an eminent cast, including The Maydays’ Heather Urquhart (Best Female Performer – Latest 7 Awards 2013), Radio City


• Iron filing • Constant irritation • The New English Hymnal • Parsimony • Bootsie


• Snudge • Losing it • Becoming a shell of your former self • The ‘Ian Botham’ scarf knot • Frotting


Notable alliterative residents of Hove include Susan Stranks, William Woollard, Buster Bloodvessel, Colly Cibber, Tony Tiger, Monsieur Mangetout, Adam Adamant, Mister Magoo and John Junkin.


Brian Mitchell, who wrote the music, also composed the score for the well-loved Fringe hit ‘The Ministry of Biscuits’ and is songwriter for pint-sized character comedian Joanna Neary. This, couple with his effete manner, makes him Brighton’s answer to Mr. La-di-da Gunner Graham.


Theatre’s Emma Kilbey, ‘Count Arthur Strong’s Radio Show’ regular David Mounfield, Prince Buster, Skippy The Bush Kangaroo, and Albert Schweitzer. Alright – not the last three. But still – pretty impressive, huh?


There is a live band comprising top musicians Andy Smith (keyboards) and Dave Barnard (bass), augmented by members of the cast on (variously) wood blocks, bicycle horn, washboard, brushes, sandpaper blocks and spoons – the result of the MD taking a wrong turn at Spring Street and winding up in Robert Dyas.

latest musicbar the place for parties!

It’s a snip at £10 (£8 concs.) – a bargain for a full evening’s entertainment. And what can you do for a tenner these days, eh? I mean – ruddy hell – it costs twenty smackers just to go round Arundel Castle. And what’s the Duke of Norfolk doing for his money? Sod all, that's what. He just sits there letting people in his house. Well I could do that for twenty quid a pop. If I lived in a castle. Easy money. “The Opinion Makers” plays Latest Musicvar, 14-17 Manchester Street Brighton BN2 1TF , Monday 5th, Tuesday 6th and Sunday 11th May, 8pm (lasts to hours including interval). Tickets are available in advance from Brighton Fringe Box Office or

•atmospheric •affordable •available any night •you make the booking •we make it happen

HOVE factually Five things you never knew about fantabulous Hove


Five reasons to see ‘The Opinion Makers’ Y

In & Out


012_LS669_barecheek_Editorial 05/03/2014 12:23 Page 2


Only one in every twentyseven residents of Poets’ Corner has read poetry by his or her street's namesake.


BHASVIC, as well as a clever acronym of Brighton, Hove and Sussex Sixth-Form College, is also the name of Sanskrit god.


In Hove, stationery is strictly rationed by a body known as the Office Supplies Regulatory Board. Each resident is restricted to five sheets of fullscap, three envelopes (two manilla, one white), four treasury tags and eight ring-binder re-inforcers per week. Paperclips are unlimited, but use of a brass paperclip require written permission.


The expression “The old Heave-Ho” was originally “The old Heave-Hove.” Theories about its precise meaning and origins differ, but are equally uninteresting.

Follow me: @MitchellnNixon

•birthdays •weddings •civil partnerships •office parties •business events •hen & stag nights •tell us what you want •we provide it all! call ruth on 01273 687171 or email:

013_LS669_lynnruth_vanessa_editorial 06/03/2014 12:41 Page 3

BRIGHTON WRITES Head shot Courtesy Jerry Lebens

Lynn Ruth Miller


Vanessa Austin Locke

A hug in time for our US writer Turning veggie overnight


very young man in our Midwest was expelled from school for hugging his teacher. The administration explained that his gesture of affection was inappropriate. The young man was 11 years old. What a sad statement about an adult’s interpretation of a child’s spontaneous impulse. That young man was not planning to pin a teacher 30 years his senior and twice his size against a wall and ravish her. He was telling her, in the most touching way any human can, that she is a wonderful being to him. I can think of no sweeter gift to receive than a hug – it says so much more than a kiss or fling between the sheets. It says, “I love who you are and I want you to know that right now.” It does not say, “You belong to me,” or “You need to live with me,” or “I need your body this minute.” Not at all. It does say, “You are so great at this moment in time that I need to hold you close and absorb some of your lovely, inspiring energy.” What greater gift can anyone give another? A few years ago in Edinburgh, I was walking down the street with an Englishman who had been such an immense help to me, that I was suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude. ‘Thank you’ seemed so lame, so inadequate. Suddenly, I knew that I had to hug him that very minute, to show him that he was like a god to me... and I did. I dropped my packages and threw my arms around him and held him tight.  To my embarrassed surprise, he “Suddenly, I knew pushed me away. At first, I was humiliated and angry, but I was that I had to hug him puzzled as well. I had no designs on him. I had no thoughts of indulging that very minute, to in lascivious behaviour in the middle of a busy Edinburgh street. I was show him that he was giving him the biggest compliment I like a god to me” knew how to give and he trampled on it. And then I realised how sad it was that this poor fellow didn’t understand the power of an innocent hug. He didn’t get that it is one of those human things we can do face to face. It cannot be done on a cell phone or Skype. A Facebook post is simply not the same. It doesn’t have the power, or the intensity of feeling that a hug can give. Watch Lynn Ruth Miller at A hug has to be done person to person. It is a gorgeous moment in time that transforms your world for just a tiny, beautiful second. It is better than a vitamin, stronger than a shot of whisky and more lasting than any flower I could have pinned in that obtuse guy’s buttonhole. I attributed his rejection to his being English until that next year when I came to Brighton and went down to the pier bearing a sign “HUG A GRANNY.” Since everyone on the pier was English, I figured I would stand there, shivering and alone for five minutes and then roll up my invitation and go home. Not so.  Within seconds, I was hugged by couples, mothers, teenagers, tiny children, a whole school of adolescents and three policemen who assured me I had made their day. It might have been the sea air that loosened their inhibitions; it might have been that in Brighton we understand the value of a hug. I am not sure what caused the avalanche of affection I received that memorable day.  What I do know is that I will never be afraid to hug anyone ever again, as it is the best way I know to say “What a unique human being you are!” And if that person doesn’t hear me? Well, I guess, if we were in America, he could expel me from school. But if he lived in Brighton, he would hug me right back.  A hug is the perfect gift – one size fits all and nobody minds if you exchange it.  – Irvin Ball


hould kosher and halal slaughter be banned? I discovered yet another contradiction in my beliefs the other day. This one was regarding Denmark’s ban on the religious slaughter of animals for kosher and halal meat. Being a great lover and supporter of all religions, and seeing it as grossly abused and misunderstood in our times by people who are often far more militant than those they accuse of militancy, I was initially disappointed that religious freedom was being curtailed. Then I realised that I am totally pro the banning of circumcision for religious reasons. So why was I pro kosher/halal slaughter and anti circumcision? I can’t change my position on circumcision. I see it as genital mutilation that affects a man’s sensual pleasure and is quite simply out-dated because the hygiene argument just doesn’t exist in this age of antibacterial hand gel. So surely the same logic must be applied to religious slaughter, in which the animal’s throat is slit while it is still conscious. To put this into context it should be noted that Jews are commanded to kill their animals with “respect and compassion” and that the system of slaughter still used today was developed in response to the hideous ways in which animals were slaughtered for non-kosher consumption. Whether or not this system of slaughter is now out-dated and needs modernising once again is a question for experts on the subject, but many studies have shown that kosher/halal slaughter is actually more humane than methods used in our abattoirs.

I was a vegan until “I simply love animals so three years ago when my doctor told me I was “as much and couldn’t bear the anaemic as a starving African child”. When thought of ending another people asked me why I was a vegan (generally creature’s consciousness” with a look of guilt on their face as they tucked into their steak while I munched a lettuce leaf) I would say something about just not liking the taste of meat, so as not to spoil their meal. But actually it was simply because I love animals so much and couldn’t bear the thought of ending another creature’s consciousness. Soppy, isn’t it? But philosophically speaking I still don’t think it’s ever justifiable. So why am I ok with eating meat now? And why did I defend (at least initially) the methods of kosher and halal slaughter? The first question is easy – I’ve disengaged my compassion. Blimey, that’s dark! But I think we all have to, to some extent, if we want to get through life without sobbing every time we see a charity appeal on TV. The second question is more difficult. I think I defended it because I’m sick of faith being made out to be the bad guy when it’s actually us who use, abuse and politicise it for our own end. However, for now at least I’ve concluded that religion should modernise wherever possible, and that it should embrace modernising! Thousands of years ago the powers that be in Judaism modernised and developed the kosher methods of slaughter in response to the heinous ways that animals were slaughtered for non-kosher meat because they were and are still(!) commanded to treat animals with “respect and compassion”. If modernity has provided us with a better way to slaughter them now, we are commanded to use it. As for me, I have a copy of Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran waiting on my bedside table, which I’m reliably informed will turn me veggie again over night because, let’s face it, there’s simply not a good way to slaughter anything. Just one more steak first though.

Follow me: @vnessenvy

014_LS669_LRM_FP Ad 07/03/2014 15:36 Page 1

015_LS669_hotlist_Hotlist 07/03/2014 11:23 Page 1


L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit British & Modern European



Chaula’s Lewes

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256,

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

The Chilli Pickle

Chaula’s Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99. Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661,

The Chilli Pickle

The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere.

The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton 01273 900 383,

The Chilli Pickle Canteen

The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indianinspired design, specially-commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches: with regional curries, homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at 01273 900384

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

Thai Street Thai

Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street

food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two-courses at £8.95 and three-courses at £10.95. Street Thai, 01273 207444, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton BN1 1HD

Up to 50% off your food bill Table Pouncer

Table Pouncer has teamed up with Latest 7 to offer diners up to 50% off their food bill. Register for free and take advantage of great savings. Participating restaurants change all the time, so check back and see whether your favourite is there. From Italian and Chinese to seafood and more, eating out has just got a lot more affordable.

Tea Shops Brighton Hen Tea & Treats

Brighton Hen Tea & Treats simply adore hosting afternoon tea parties with vintage fun filled inspired themed tea parties at £19.99 per person. Sip tea from elegant china teacups and eat freshly homemade treats baked by us, in vintage styled rooms. Be pampered, hire a hunky butler or enjoy a photoshoot. We deliver across Sussex and cater for all events like birthdays and weddings. Special offer: Chief Hen goes FREE on any Themed Afternoon Tea. Visit Brighton Hen Tea & Treats: 01273 413829



To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

016_017_LS669_health_011_LS466_interview 07/03/2014 12:41 Page 2


A helping hand Jonathan Conway, Hypnotherapist & NLP practitioner, answers your questions on changing the way you view the world

Everyone’s a winner Brighton Half Marathon runners celebrate a winning day for local & national charities


fter endless days of strong winds and heavy rain, the sun was shining for Brighton Half Marathon on Sunday 16 February, and the runners experienced perfect running conditions. Brighton Half Marathon, organised by The Sussex Beacon, a local HIV charity, saw 6,996 runners on the start line with Paul Martelletti and Sarah Hill claiming the winning titles. The one mile Youth Races saw 393 young runners of all levels and abilities take part across four age categories.

Follow us: @brightonhalf

Q. I want to run Brighton Marathon one day. Can Hypnotherapy help me perform better in sports? A: Yes, absolutely. Using hypnosis to visualise being successful in sports is very powerful. It can also be helpful to use the anchoring techniques of NLP to help you get into a resourceful winning state and also to model success on other successful performers in professional sports. Q. I wish I had more confidence. Can hypnotherapy make me more outgoing? A. Yes. Hypnosis can be a careful tool in helping a person focus on the things that help them to feel better about themselves and help you to find the resources that every person has to do this. As you begin to notice your success there is likely to be a cumulative effect. In my experience confidence from the inside out is likely to be more effective and longer lasting than doing things with a short term boost in confidence. Also the more accepting a person can be of themselves the better they are likely to feel in their lives. Q. I would love to fly abroad but have such a fear of flying after a bad experience when I was younger. Can hypnotherapy help me to overcome this phobia? A. Flying phobias are usually connected with a past flying experience that didn’t go well such as extreme turbulence or engine failure whilst on board a flight. It is a feeling of being out of control sometimes accompanied by panic and anxiety. Hypnosis accompanied by an NLP Fast Phobia cure can help with overcoming a flying phobia and to help the person have a positive flying experience. To do this, the flying experience needs to be reframed to something

more positive, in particular, the language that is used in thinking about the flying experience. Q. Can hypnotherapy cure physical pain? A. Pain management is a complex topic and before a non-medically trained hypnotherapist uses hypnosis for pain control it is important that the person has had a medical investigation beforehand. Once this has been done – and with a medical practitioner’s approval – hypnosis can be a powerful too in assisting with pain control. Hypnosis can help to change the perception of the pain into something more manageable and something which the unconscious mind is able to control. Q. My new job means that I need to give public presentations. How many hypnotherapy sessions would I need to improve my public speaking performance? A. Speaking in public is one of life’s greatest challenges and fears. Hypnosis and NLP can really assist a person to speak fluently and confidently, and to create a greater level of rapport with the audience. Even two or three sessions can make a significant and valuable change to someone’s ability to be a competent public speaker. The first task is to help the person build up some positive resources. NLP Anchoring techniques can be useful here followed by visualisation and also learning a practicing selfhypnosis techniques. Like all new skills it is necessary to practice and the more times you are able to do so, the easier it will be to perform well in presentations. Q. I’m seeing a hypnotherapist to help me to kick my smoking habit. Am I going to be able to handle passive smoking after my hypnotherapy? A. The biggest part of smoking addiction is not the physical craving but the psychological need to have a cigarette. Once the urge to smoke is replaced by other healthier and creative behaviours the person will have a sense of freedom and be in control of the unconscious urge to smoke. It is also probable that the hypnotherapist may have given some hypnotic suggestions that the person will no longer be attracted to the smell of nicotine and therefore passive smoking should not bother the person. Jonathan Conway, Hypnotherapist NLP Master Practitioner & Coach, 01273 540425 or 07956 855 027

Follow me: @ConwayPractice

016_017_LS669_health_011_LS466_interview 07/03/2014 11:56 Page 3

STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY Zara Baker gets into some straight talking with KeraStraight ambassador Jon Moore at Brighton’s Trevor Sorbie Salon

What’s wrong with my trusty GHDs? This was my first question to Jon. It turns out: lots. Using hair irons every other day was drying out my hair and making it brittle, leaving short wispy pieces around my face. I’d got better. It used to be a daily date with my GHDs but I could see what they were doing to my hair – with the heat equivalent to an oven roasting your dinner. I’d cut back, but couldn’t go cold turkey. Like many women, I was caught in a Catch 22: my hair condition was worsening, but I rectified this (visually at least) with irons. Meanwhile the condition was depleting. First up was a cut. It’s not a necessity before KeraStraight but it is recommended. I didn’t want dry, uneven split ends even more prominent after the straightening treatment. With my hair cut to a healthier length, Jon applied the newly available KS Ultimate treatment. It’s applied as a hair colour would be, and is white in colour with no strong smell. Put simply, Jon was adding keratin (protein) to my over coloured, over


Latest Style Rhatia Renée blares out the tunes for her photoshoot with model Holly Stone Photos: Rhatia Renée


espite a fear of getting Britney Spears’ ‘Stronger’ track in your head with the above headline (sorry!), it had to be said as this is the best way I can describe the KeraStraight treatment. It’s taken haircare to a whole new level and Brighton’s Trevor Sorbie Salon is a pioneer in the trademark treatment. My interest in KeraStraight was first piqued when a colleague had the treatment done in preparation for her wedding. When she came in the office I couldn’t believe that her gorgeous, silky hair had not been subjected to a lengthy blow-dry and a lot of time with her straightening iron. Yet she assured me it was simply a ‘wash and go’ thanks to KeraStraight, which had left her hair manageable and in great condition. I had to find out more... When I meet Jon Moore, a global ambassador for KeraStraight from Trevor Sorbie Brighton, I am given an information-packed treatment (purely for research purposes, of course. General clients are welcome to stick their head in a magazine or unwind with a glass of wine during the treatment). Jon is enthusiastic about the brand as it is something he strongly believes in, and the reason for this, quite simply, is because it works. While the ‘80s was all about the perm, this decade is most definitely about KeraStraight, the nonpermanent hair straightening method.


Art Direction: Trevor Sorbie MBE Hair: Daniel Caceres, Director at Trevor Sorbie for KeraStraight Treatment: Nathan Walker, International Technical Director at Trevor Sorbie for KeraStraight Photography: John Rawson

T Win! Log

onto www.thelates for the chance elasticity and strength straightened hair. to Ke raStraight Trea win a from the roots to the ends. Keratin is the main at Trevor Sorbtment The GHDs have been put at component of hair ie Brighton wor the back of a cupboard, and nails but an th away from temptation, and I injection boost through £180 haven’t looked back. KeraStraight was much needed for my overstyled Is KeraStraight for me? locks. The treatment takes a few Keratin based hair products have hours, but with results that last as dominated the beauty market for a long as three months, it’s a good time few years now and with good and money investment in the long reason. KS Ultimate is the run – especially with the time saved strongest Keratin hit for your hair. away from the straighteners. Once the A quick-fix KeraStraight treatment treatment is rinsed and hair is blowcan last a few weeks, whilst the dried, straighteners are used for one extended two-three hour treatment last time to lock in the keratin and lasts for up to three months. At ‘set’ the style. Unlike the old Brazilian Trevor Sorbie you take home the blow-dry method where you couldn’t KeraStraight shampoo and tuck your hair behind your ears or conditioner to maintain the style wear glasses on your head for fear of (sulphate free shampoo must – kinking the style, your daily routine and should – be used). can be resumed directly after For thick, coarse, dry, KeraStraight treatment. unmanageable hair, KeraStraight is a Back to the headline: this was the great way to deeply condition and biggest change I noticed straight smooth the hair, leaving it shiny, soft away with my hair. It was and manageable. For my fine, over immediately stronger, squeaky clean processed hair, the biggest result and had a bounce back to it that had was in the strength and shine. been absent for a long time. Just by Keratin is a buzzword in haircare, and gently tugging on the ends of my KeraStraight is leading the way. hair, I could feel the improved Trevor Sorbie, 1 Nile Street, Brighton, 01273 220007, Follow me: @LatestZara

his may be a bit of an understatement, but Brighton is definitely a music hot spot. So many great vocalists, musicians and bands drop into the many clubs, pubs and music venues in this town that it boggles the mind. On any night of the week you have a nifty choice of artists to see. That’s why this month we tip our hat to Brighton’s music scene with a music-inspired shoot featuring Brighton model Holly Stone. Holly and I go way back, as we’ve been collaborating on shoots for about a year now. She is a gifted model and budding filmmaker... and so much fun to work with. Last week she dropped by the Rhatia Renée Photography studio in Brighton to help us settle into the new digs. We had a blast shooting while blasting out tunes in the studio... Enjoy!

Follow me: @LatestRhatia

010_LS669_kay_comps_Social Diary 07/03/2014 13:40 Page 2



Andrew Kay

Sponsored by Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

Something to declare


onsidering I never left the mainland UK until I was 21 years old, except for course for a week in The Isle Of Man and a summer in Guernsey that is, I have more than made up for it since. Especially in the last few years since I created the International Chef Exchange Project. You could say that I have become something of an international jet-setter. Well maybe not, but I have been spending a lot of time travelling and a large amount of that time in airports. I rather like airports, especially since I was introduced to the VIP lounges. They really are rather good, even if they do chew away at my socialist roots. On my last trip abroad I travelled from Gatwick to Schiphol Holland on EasyJet. Now I know as well as the next person that EasyJet is a sitting target when it comes to criticism. An easy gag in the travel world – which is somewhat unfair. It is, after all, a budget airline, so what should we expect? After all, we love the low prices, enough to book with them over and over again. So my words are this: shut up and ship out quietly if you don’t want to pay for premium air travel. I do though have an enormous travel gripe, and comes from a landbound experience. Travelling by air can be a pretty intimidating experience,

“Why did I see some of the worst behaviour of anyone working in the public service sector here?” especially if it’s a first time or if you have a fear of flying. So surely it is in the interest of airports to make that experience as simple as possible. Do you agree? Yes, I thought you might. So why did I see some of the worst behaviour of anyone working in the public service sector on my last trip through Gatwick? Let me explain. I was in a large party, some of us had luggage for the hold and some only cabin baggage. We all had printed off our boarding cards before leaving home, so that element, if you a) have a computer and printer and b) have understood that this is possible, is quite simple. We all proceeded to customs, with our small cabin bags, toiletries in clear plastic bags and our boarding passes and passports ready. Once past the first check we joined the long queues to be scanned and frisked. A way ahead of us there was a man charged with organising the queues. He had

on that tell tale lanyard of officialdom and he was most certainly going to use it. Spotting a couple with luggage that was clearly too large he approached them. They had misunderstood the system and at any previous checks no-one had told them that they needed to check in their bags. All he had to do was politely explain this and guide them back through the process. Kindness would surely have been his first action. Oh no, this official saw this as an opportunity to berate them loudly, bullying them along and humiliating them as he went. The queue cringed at his vile behaviour and, had we had more guts we might have interjected. But this was a queue to catch a plane and I guess we all knew that any interference might jeopardise our safe and speedy passage. Having seen them off, he returned and started to bully the queue again. No smile, no humour, just barking at people. He did it to me, saying that I had loaded my bag onto the conveyor in the wrong way. Pedantry doesn’t cover this man’s attitude. My bags and my body passed the checks without further incident, and, once I have secured my trousers with the removed belt and zipped up my boots, I sought out a supervisor. I lodged a formal complaint and, as I did so, several other travellers added their voice. I really hope that he was appropriately disciplined, sent on a course on customer service and manners at the very least. What a way to treat visitors, welcome to Gatwick, no, worse than that: welcome to Great Britain where we are ruled by small minds.

Follow me: @latestandrew



Still haven’t managed to budge those Christmas pounds? With spring finally on its way, there’s no better time to get out of the house and into shape. Vibrofit Hove is offering the perfect opportunity to do so with three 30-day trial passes (worth £50 each) up for grabs right here. Described as ‘Hove’s most stylish fitness studio’, Vibrofit offers regular 30-minute group sessions two to three times a week with qualified instructors leading the classes. Working out on a vibration plate is a quirky, fun and effective way to get fit, build strength and burn fat. According to club owner Sarah, you can achieve noticeable results within two to four weeks. All three lucky winners will get a free induction, which will include a brief health check and introduction to the hi-tech machines. The studio is at Ralli Hall in Denmark Villas, Hove. For your chance to win, simply tell us: Where is the Vibrofit studio?

WIN HAIR TREATMENT FOR TWO AT GARY FORDE Help celebrate Forde Hairdressing’s first birthday by winning a fabulous makeover! Ideally it’s you who should be giving the presents but salon owner Gary Forde is such a generous guy that he’s offered his hairdressing skills to one lucky couple. The pair of you will visit the gorgeous Forde Hairdressing salon at 161 North Street, Brighton, and enjoy a fabulous makeover! Following a consultation to ensure that you leave the salon looking the way you want to – Gary and his team will colour your hair using one of the the hottest Spring hues before cutting it into a style that will be easy to maintain. At the wash you will experience a tantalising hair treatment, luxury

shampoo and condition before a blow-dry finish and in depth ‘how-to’ recreate the look at home. Throughout your visit you will enjoy complimentary refreshments and upon leaving, take home a prescriptive bundle of hair products. To win this fabulous prize, simply tell us: What birthday Forde Hair celebrating at their North Street salon? A) 1st B) 2nd C) 5th T&C: Prize can only be redeemed Monday– Wednesday subject to availability.


with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 24 March 2014.

019_LS669_stage_editorial 07/03/2014 13:04 Page 2 M Foreste

WHAT’S ON STAGE dance double-bill of duets that gives extraordinary insight into their on and off-stage relationship. Saffy said: “Having known Lois and Jake for a while, I was curious about such a big time of change in their lives. I wanted to find a way to express the uniqueness and evolving dynamic of their relationship through working with movement, sound and film, and share this inspiration with an audience.” The combination of dance, text, imagery and sound proves both moving and playful as the characters shift to fit their changing lives and the changing dynamic of their primal relationship. The performance has been co-commissioned by Pavilion Dance Southwest and is supported by University College Falmouth and Swindon Dance. Brighton Dome, Wednesday 12 –Thursday 13 March To book tickets 01273 709709


Follow me: latestandrew


Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne Tues 11–Thurs 15 March Box office 01323412000 Journey The Old Market, Brighton Fri 14 March Box office 01273 201801 St Patrick’s Party Brighton Dome, Sat 15 March Box office 01273 709709 That’ll Be The Day Theatre Royal Brighton, Sun 16 March Box office 0844 871 7627

A chaotic ride of rock, shock and a botched sex op’


n ‘anatomically incorrect’ rock odyssey from New Venture Theatre is coming to the Brighton Fringe Festival. It promises to be a rocking ride: funny, touching and inspiring for anyone who feels life has given them an inch when they deserve a mile. The story, created by John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask, follows internationally ignored song stylist Hedwig Schmidt, an East German rock ‘n’ roll goddess who also happens to be the victim of a botched sexchange operation. Backed by hardrocking band The Angry Inch on their East Sussex Tour, Hedwig tells us of her life's search for the origin of love and the people who have made her the woman she is today. Sugar daddies, punk idols, downtrodden Eastern European drag queens and the soulmate who stole her songs to achieve rock star fame all put in an appearance.

This is the first production of its type to be staged at The New Venture Theatre, a charity theatre based in Brighton, East Sussex. It’s run entirely by volunteers, and has won several local awards. This ground breaking Obiewinning off-Broadway smash also won multiple awards for its hit film adaptation. New Venture Theatre, Brighton, Fri 2 May–Sat 17 May To book tickets: 01273 746118 STAGE: UNEXPECTED ANIMAL/KINDLING The Nightingale Theatre presents Unexpected Animal/Kindling, a mesmerising dance performance capturing the changing relationship between mother and son. Cornwall based choreographer Saffy Setohy has been working with dance artist Lois Taylor and her real life son Jake, to create an intimate



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COMEDY: JOEL DOMMETT INTERVIEW Joel Dommett jumps off of our small screens and onto the road with his debut tour. Victoria Nangle finds out more Hello. How are you doing this fine day? “I’m good, thank you. Maybe people are reading this on a not so fine day, in which case I sincerely hope it improves.” Are you looking forward to your debut UK tour? “Yes! I cannot wait to be alone in places I have never been before. Bordon? Where is that? I have no idea but I’m going there.” What’s your ‘process’ when you write stand-up? “I tend to gig at little venues in London and build a bit line by line... I try to add or take away a bit each day...” One of my guilty pleasures is How To Survive A Disaster Movie, which you did for Ch5 with Eric Lampaert. It didn't look as if you always would manage to survive! Any particularly hairy moments making that? “I like to be a pleasurable guilt. I’m currently watching the One Direction movie. This feels like it’s in the same category. There was many hairy moments... I sat in a bush covered in mud for two hours and got bitten by ticks. One of the crew got some disease because of the bites. I haven’t heard from him; he’s probably dead.”

What was your favourite part of the Live In Chelsea job? “It was fun... they are all very well educated people and when you ask them a question they give you nice eloquent answers. I did the same thing with the Geordie Shore cast and when you ask them a question someone usually shits on the curtains.” Your [future] DVD is simply unstoppable and you net another million squiddoodles. What is the biggest indulgence you’d love to spend heaps of dosh on? “I am not very good at spending money. My biggest indulgence of recent times is a cleaner. I feel horrendous about it. It feels weird to sit there and watch her clean so we silently do it together.” You've appeared in both Skins and Teenage Kicks – clearly a thespian. What would be your dream acting role? “I like playing me. No need for extreme weightloss or muscles – I just wake up and talk.”

Your show you're bringing to town is called Practical Joker. This, combined with the BBC3 series Impractical Joker, implies you may be an enthusiastic mischief-maker. False advertising or should we keep an eye on you at all times? “I am the least Practical Joker-y person ever... I am part of impractical jokers because I am bad at it... its’ apparently entertaining to see me squirm like a little girl when I have to talk to strangers.” What’s the best prank that’s ever been pulled on you? “It’s not a prank as such but the best part of the new Impractical Jokers series is when we had to see how many pencils we could fit onto a stranger without them noticing. I managed to get 20 into a lady’s bag. It was my most incredible achievement of my life so far.” Where do you get all your energy from? “Mainly questionnaires... but I also just love comedy so I get excited when I'm doing it. I’m quite downbeat for the rest of the day...” Joel Dommet: Practical Joker, Komedia, Friday 14 March 2014, 8pm, £10, 0845 293 8480,

You were on our screens with E4’s Live In Chelsea. If you made a million from DVD sales of this tour would you buy yourself a bijoux pad in Chelsea and hang out with all the beautiful people of the cast? “I have no idea what bijoux means... I live in a semi-detached in south London. Maybe in Chelsea it’s called a semé d'toochéd.”

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COMEDY: CHARITY CHUCKLE A showcase of some of the best new stand up, raising money for a different local charity each month. Putting the “fun” in fundraising with a line up including Stephen Carlin, Joe Wilkinson, Alasdair Beckett-King, Sam Savage and So You Think You're Funny semi-finalist Dan Fardell. Komedia, Tues 11 Mar 2014, 8pm, £10 COMEDY: LAUGHABLE A monthly show of different leading and up and coming comedians trying out something new. This month welcomes James Acaster, Mark Smith and Joe Wilkinson. Upstairs At The Three And Ten, Thurs 13 Mar 2014, 8pm, £5 EVENTS: COFFEE AND CAKE DATE What better way to meet likeminded singles than over a big slab of your favourite cake? Cafe Coho is offering speed dating for 30s and 40s – but with the added perk of coffee, cake and speed-dating tips. Enjoy a relaxed cafe atmosphere and meet new people for friendship or romance. Cafe Coho, Sat 15 March, 6.30pm–9pm, £21 EVENT: PLAYMAKES A chance for children to get creative with arts and crafts while parents relax with a cup of tea and some delicious cake. The Playmakers team is on hand to lead the creativity and help every child make a keepsake they can take home with them. Cafe-bar Brighton Dome, Sun 16 Mar, 12.45pm, £5 per child, adults free FILM: WAR HORSE – NATIONAL THEATRE LIVE (TBC) Dir: Marianne Elliott, Tom Morris Live from London's West End comes this screening of international smash hit War Horse, based on Michael Morpurgo's novel and adapted for stage by Nick Stafford. The production takes the audience on an extraordinary journey from the rural fields of Devon to the muddy trenches of WWI in France.

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Brighton's very own TV channel is coming to Channel 8. Launch date: 2014

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Lone Survivor

King Creosote

WHAT’S ON MUSIC&FILM, ART&EVENTS Powerful music and incredible lifesized puppets combine to make War Horse a wonderfully moving and memorable experience. Odeon, Thurs 13 March, 7pm, £15/£13.50/£13 FILM: UNDER THE SKIN (15) Dir: Jonathan Glazer Leading lady Scarlet Johansson plays a seductive alien (could she play any other kind of alien?) in this sinister sci-fi. When the extraterrestrial, disguised as a beautiful woman, lands on earth, she begins to prowl Scotland for human prey so she can lure them into a nightmare from which there is no return... Released Fri 7 March Showing at Cineworld, Odeon, Duke of York's Picturehouse ART: I CHEER A DEAD MAN’S SWEETHEART This group exhibition features 21 current British artists. Featured artists include Frank Auerbach, Christopher Le Brun, Alessandra

Raho, Leon Kossoff, Gary Wragg and Phoebe Unwin. De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhil on sea, 01424 229111. Opens 15 March ART: NEAR DARK The current John Skoog ‘Redoubt’ film installation is being accompanied by the ‘Near Dark’ exhibition, a selection made by the artist from the Towner collection. Towner Art Gallery, Eastbourne, 01323 434681. Until 4 May.

MUSIC: BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB Jeff Hemmings talks to guitarist Jamie MacColl Near Dark

MUSIC: THE MEN With a new album out entitled rather auspiciously Tomorrow's Hits, The men’s raucous psychedelia-tined rock once again has that lived-in feel, a spontaneous cacophony of crazed riffing, horns, keys, the works... The Haunt, Friday 14 March, 7pm, £8 MUSIC: FRANZ FERDINAND Leader of the post post-punk brigade, and heavily indebted to the angular choppiness of Gang of Four, this Scottish foursome are still churning out melodious, high energy indie gems. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Monday 17 March, 7pm, £24.75/22.50

War Horse – National Theatre Live


For full details of film times:



amed rather inappropriately after an Indian restaurant in London, BBC have nevertheless risen through the ranks of indiedom, continuing to make exceptional, thoughtful and often euphoric music. It's been a hell of a journey for this unlikely rock band who initially broke through via Virgin’s Road to V Battle of the Bands competition in 2006. Guitarist Jamie MacColl, singer and songwriter Jack Steadman and drummer Suren de Saram met at school when they were 15. With the addition of bassist Ed Nash the line up was complete, but it wasn't until they left school in 2008 that they decided to immerse themselves fully into music. So Long, See You Tomorrow is their fourth long player, and another unqualified success. Between 2009 and 2011 they released three albums, but this one has been three years in the making, and one they self-produced. “We were our own worst critics,” says guitarist Jamie MacColl, about the making of the record. “If something wasn’t good enough we didn’t need to be too diplomatic. There are no fillers on this one. But we’re like a family, really close. “We took more time recording this one – it's our most experimental and honest record yet. Island [their label] just let us get on with it.” Steadman is the main writer, but MacColl, who comes from the MacCollSeeger family lineage would often send him some inspiration in the form of books and poetry. And with his education having being unexpectedly cut short by the demands of music, he's looking forward to rekindling his formal education "I really wanted to go to university, and I thought I would. I thought I would follow my mum, who did English. But I am going to do an open university course, get some intellectual stimulation." With his grandfather being the great Ewan MacColl, and his Grandmother Peggy Seeger (his uncle was the recently deceased Pete Seeger), does folk music play any part in BBC? “Ewan died when I was a just a few months old, but Peggy sang lots of folk songs for us kids, and we’d listen to it in the car, but I don’t think what I or we do is folk music. I don’t think people make proper folk music anymore.” Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Tuesday 18 March, 7pm, £20.50

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See in summer with Wave Your essential health & wellbeing guide, free inside Latest 7 Our next edition is out in April To promote your business in this section call Rachel on 01273 818150 x105 now!

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To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to


Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20

There’s a new number one with Izzy getting the most hits this week. Listen online to get your favourite to number one. 1 Izzy Beautiful 2 JJ Symon Sound The Alarm


Brighton Centre, 29 November 2014, £tbc, 0844 847 1515, The more lavishly dressed half of The Mighty Boosh announced that he is coming to town, hot on the heels of the Boosh’s manager quashing rumours of a new live show involving both of the surreal comedic duo. Promising stand-up, animation, music and TV characters.


3 Black Rooster Black Shag Run Baby 4 Black Rooster Black Shag Amsterdam 5 The Black Fields The Fighter 6 Trilby Valentine 7 Pete Gioconda We Are Real 8 Surrender Monkeys John Agar Was Right 9 Pete Gioconda Lazybones 10 matthew the oxx the boy inside the bubble 11 The Last Cry Rebekka 12 Moonlighter Every Time I Fall

Brighton Centre, 14 February 2015, £27.50, 0844 847 1515, Sam Bailey stole the hearts of a nation on The X Factor and since winning, her feet have barely touched the ground. Following the announcement of the imminent release of her debut album, Sam has now also confirmed a string of winter UK tour dates.

RUSSELL HOWARD – WONDERBOX (WORK IN PROGRESS) The Hawth, 12 April 2014, £21.50, 01293 553636, Join Russell Howard, one of our funniest and most successful comedians, as he tries out material and warms up for his sold-out arena tour. Russell returns to his first love, live stand-up, with his first tour for three years and a show which looks set to be the hottest ticket of 2014.


13 Jim Guittard Survival Mode 14 The Fooley Mantras Our Time 15 Jamie Smith Wheels Upon Wheels

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 17 November 2014, £41.50, 01273 709709, Coventry legends The Specials have announced a UK tour for 2014 which sees them celebrate five years since they first reformed.

16 Nick Conroy ft Naomi Better Days Acoustic 17 the wolfgirl liberation melt 18 OSARO/RJ LOVIN U 19 ULTRALITES Sweet Ghost ft. Gemma Vaz 20 tenek No Time For Fighting (JAB EDIT) SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos


Under review

HOMECOMING BONOBO Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 3 March 2014 ✪✪✪✪✪


he Brighton-based King of Chill Out’s stock has risen considerably in recent times, and with that has come a significant step up in the size of venues he plays and the scale of shows he produces. But while this show was technically brilliant, with faultless musicianship from his large ensemble and impressive visuals, something crucial seems to have been lost along the way. The gig lacked the punch of earlier performances and was almost too clinical in its execution. There were moments of brilliance when it did break through these shackles (mainly when Bonobo was left alone on stage to delve into the deepest recesses of his electronic genius) but unfortunately these were all too fleeting. Adam Lindsay


Alan Bennett's superb play is based on his real-life experiences with an eccentric lady living in his garden for 15 years. It works on many levels, as both a hilarious story and an insightful commentary on his inner conflict (two Alans star in the play) between the writer's search for source material and the practical problems that occur when dealing with the selfish but harmless Miss Shepherd. The production is fantastic, with the main trio deftly capturing the humour and pathos in the parts, as well as creative staging and simple, effective lighting techniques. Funny, moving, eloquent and engrossing in a quintessentially English/Alan Bennett sort of way. Brighton Little Theatre, 4 March 2014 ✪✪✪✪ Joe Fuller


Sometimes an artist literally takes your breath away; you forget to breathe, in awe. Anaïs Mitchell was spellbinding at Komedia; a supreme storyteller, combining fragility with ferocity to devastating effect. Mermaid-like, she reeled in an adoring crowd, fresh from her recent Radio 2 Folk Awards victory (her 'Best Traditional Track' awardwinning song opened the set). With compelling physicality (unaffected, lost-in-the-moment, one-legged guitar playing) Anaïs could not have looked or sounded more at ease in what was a perfect sound set-up. If Folk were a relay race, Anais has firmly grasped the baton from Joni and is racing ahead without even breaking a sweat. Komedia, 4 March 2014 ✪✪✪✪✪ Kelly Westlake

>CLUB HIGHLIGHTS< Don’t miss our pick of Brighton after dark FEMROCK FemRock Late presents a night of fierce female DJs playing the best of female-fronted music including riot grrrl, punk, hip hop, R&B and pop. Sticky Mike’s Frog Bar, Fri 14 March, 11pm, £2/£4 COMMERCIAL MASHUP A unique commercial mashup night at FunFair, the club that captures Brighton Pier's vintage

opulence. Expect top tunes and great drinks deals at this sophisticated club. FunFair, Fri 14 Mar, 10pm, £3/£5 ROLL CALL Grab your shades and get ready to head back to the golden era with this night of Jamaican dancehall and digital reggae classics from the ’80s. Riki Tik’s, Thurs 13 March, 9pm, free

PACHANGA Superclub Shooshh brings a taste of the hot Latino fiesta to the city with Pachanga, a night of rhythmic music including salsato, bachata, merengue and raga & mubaton transporting clubbers from Brighton to a steamy Brazilian beach party. Shooshh, Tues 11 March, 10pm, free before midnight, then £3

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SADE ALI TURNS HER ATTENTION TO HOUSE PARTIES – AGAIN Top things never to do at a house party – Part 2! Last week I gave you all a few hints to swerve embarrassing yourself at a party. So after meeting ‘the red wine guy’, the ‘scene maker’ and the guy who didn’t dress up there are just a few more people you do not want to be. KNOW YOUR LIMITS Possibly one of the most embarrassing things to do at a party is be the drunkest person there. slurring your words, falling over and claiming that you love everyone is not as cool as you think. Not to mention the embarrassing photos of you dancing on the table being uploaded to Facebook the following day. Once you’re feeling wired, just stop. Stop drinking and, more importantly, do not need enter a downing competition – you will end up on the floor! DON’T MAKE YOUR OWN COCKTAILS Thinking that you’re a bartender is the reason the drunk guy got drunk. Mixing every alcoholic substance in the party does not make a ‘banging cocktail’. In fact, the drink is probably curdling in everyone’s stomaches and is the reason for ‘the world’s worst hangover’ the next day. Just stick to one substance at a time and everything shall be fine. MAKE SURE YOU’RE WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR Someone once told me: “always wear fresh boxers”. When I asked why, he claimed that his mum gave him the wise words as he never knows when he will end up in hospital. Now unless you’re the ‘drunk guy’ or the ‘cocktail maker’ this is pretty unlikely. But you never know where you will end up and if you were planning on getting lucky I should hope they’re clean anyway. DO NOT COME ACROSS EASY Whether you’re out to pull or not acting desperate or easy is going to guarantee you a trip home alone. There is nothing more off-putting than someone loose. In this generation 'pulling' is a lot easier than it used to be. But waking up next to someone you do not even like mixed together with the 'hangover from hell' thanks to the 'cocktail guy' or even waking up next to the 'cocktail guy' is not the outcome you want from your night. Coming across easy also makes you look less attractive, so the more you hold back, the more people will chase you. I think you should all now know how to behave at a party and despite it not being you embarrassing yourself I’m sure there will be someone there that does. Tweet me your stories as next week I will be exposing the moments that make you cringe and also confessing my own embarrassing stories!



Chris Kusmiski on the week’s best gigs


he West Pier may have taken a battering of late, but the venues are still there. So let’s use them. If hearing ‘bassline’ repeatedly over kitchen sink funk is your thing (and why not?) those cuddly Northern scamps Reverend And The Makers The Vibrators are at your beck and call at Concorde 2 on Tuesday. Bloc Party are out of action right now so it might be your best chance to have it ‘large’ before spring. Brighton’s most hardworking institution Cable Club is probably putting on about five gigs this week, but one not to miss is London indie-dance quartet Riveras at The Prince Albert on Thursday. Support comes from locals The Phantom Runners who are definitely ones to watch in 2014. Expertly crafted indiepop with an ‘80s twist, they even successfully make rapping work over indie. It has to be seen to be believed. It might seem near impossible to imagine but Dreadzone actually function as a band outside the festival circuit, as they are ably doing at Concorde 2 on Saturday. Bring your tent and glowsticks just in case though. They may need somewhere to crash-out. The recently estranged Sonic Youther Thurston Moore is fully realising his mid-life crisis at Green Door Store on Sunday. Technically it’s Jookloo Duo featuring himself and Dylan Nyoukis, but let’s not lie. Everyone is there to see alt-rock’s most eligible bachelor express himself through the medium of ‘free noise’. Or if that’s not your cup of tea, you can contemplate whether god is an astronaut watching God Is An Astronaut that night at The Haunt. Last year’s Origins cemented them as Ireland's most spirited post-rock export. There’s a bit in John Robb’s oral history of punk where The Vibrators get all indignant about not being covered in those punk documentaries on the Beeb. Perhaps it’s because they are called ‘The Vibrators’. Watch them and lots of old punks get indignant at The Prince Albert on Saturday 15th. The archdukes themselves, Franz Ferdinand show off their outlastability as they leap confidentially beyond the landfill indie era and show off their new album Right Thoughts, Right Words, Right Action. Which presumably sounds much like the last few releases. Surely that is the point though? They are notoriously great live and they even stop at the right time to let the crowd shout‚ ‘take me out’. What gentlemen.


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L7 TV Your weekly TV guide

With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

With your ruler doing a back flip at the first sign of a hot date, something seems amiss. While for those of you in a relationship, wriggling out of responsibilities may not be so easy. What’s beautiful about this week is the level of choice that you really do have, so why rush?

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

A beautiful time for resolving any confusion that was caused during a stressful time. You’ve definitely reached calmer waters as your ruler floats out of the frying pan and into the therapy tent. Go on, make peace, it’ll make everything easier.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

You’re at a high point professionally, but that too can be a bonus if you’re trying to impress others with your status as it shifts up a notch. You can be in the right place at the right time, collecting compliments like daisies at every stop. Love takes an interesting turn.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

Keep exploring, you can never know everything, so why not enjoy the process of discovery? Move beyond your usual resources and trek further afield. If 'when the student is ready, the master appears’ then you may do well to be open for the education of your life.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

This is a week where you finally get to the bottom of a well. And what do you find? Water! Instinctive optimism. Actually, the resolution of an ongoing financial or sexual drama will revive you. You cannot end the week as you have begun, so be bold and decisive.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

On the domestic and relationship front, you may find renewed zest and inspiration comes wearing the mask of a master seductress or seducer. Remember that while under the spell of the zodiacs trickster Mercury, in beguiling Pisces, you may need to get your glasses checked.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

While Venus traverses the landscape of your creative world, your art house manager will not be the only one left with a smile on their face. As all acts in life are potentially works of art, love especially presents opportunities.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Love words spoken may be embellished under the artistic scrutiny of Neptune. But just because they’re poetic, transcendental or pure fantasy, doesn’t mean that you need to ignore the underlying message which is of course, true.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

Everyone is looking to you for leadership, drawn of course to your optimism and flare for visionary conceptualisation. However, if you’re too forceful, you’ll attract a cut throat competitor who beats you with grace.

811 – 17 MARCH

TV times

“humanist accommodationist” at the Sunday Assembly at St Andrews Church in Hove, whilst clearing up the evolutionist/creationist debate. The congregation (can you call an atheist crowd As Channel 8 prepares to launch, a congregation?) sang songs by Queen, ‘Chain Reaction’ by Diana Ross and we’ve got Jim singing we go behind the scenes with gamely into his lapel mic. We also caught up with Dr Simon Singh, another Latest TV great researcher, author, TV producer who, like Jim Al-Khalili and Adam Rutherford, is able to popularise Good morning! Blog, Vlog or TVlog? This is science and include jokes! Simon Singh shows how the start of a regular diary logging what Homer Simpson very nearly proved that Fermat’s goes on behind the scenes when creating Last Theorem was wrong shocking mathematicians the video content for Latest TV. Think Letter From the world over. Homer’s near miss only goes to show America without the history and famous that the equation has no solution in integers greater politicians! Think Bridget Jones than or equal to 3. Yep, we learnt without Colin Firth or any of some maths this week, and “We all waited with what special numbers to look the famous names! Here is a peek at a few out for (taxi number 1792) when stories filmed by the Latest TV bated breath to see if watching Bart and family. team over the last week: Earlier in the day the she had delivered...” charismatic First off, Brighton Festival. and gutsy MP Jenni interviewed the Chief Caroline Lucas got philosophical Executive of Brighton Dome & Festival, Andrew as well as global on the ideological thread of Comben and the Festival’s Guest Director, the fairness, even squeezing in time for a quick joke: acclaimed choreographer and composer, Hofesh “What if climate change is a hoax, and we’ve created Shechter. Hofesh said: “I think each one of us has a better society for no reason!” a black sheep inside...” so the front cover of the Our intrepid news hound, Tim ‘A Scoop A Day’ Brighton Festival programme depicts all of us at Ridgway, and our sports hound, Jay ‘Any Sport As Latest TV. Long As It Involves Mud’ Legate, filmed another February was filled with science, literally tonnes gutsy MP, the UK Home Secretary Theresa May, out of the stuff and Brighton Science Festival founder, and about in Kemp Town with Brighton Kemp Town Richard Robinson allowed us access all areas. MP Simon Kirby. A spot of shoe-shopping for This year, the festival included more scientist leopard skin shoes at the Sussex Beacon charity heavyweights than usual. Dr Adam Rutherford, a shop rounded off the piece nicely. geneticist, writer and broadcaster whose television Latest Musicbar, the TV studio by day/venue by work includes The Cell and The Gene Code as well as night scrubbed up well for the occasion, being able presenting Radio 4’s Inside Science, gave a to cope with any number of visiting dignitaries, wonderful insight into the workings of DNA whilst on having hosted the likes of Colin Firth (yes!) when stage at the Sallis Benney awaiting his own miracle he attended a party there recently, and also Larry of life. His wife, due to give birth imminently, Adler (harmonica royalty) in times gone by. phoned him up. We all waited with bated breath to So there you have it, a week in the life of Latest see if she had delivered, but no she just phoned to TV, complete with Colin Firth and famous politicians! see how his talk went! Professor Jim Al-Khalili OBE, host of many BBC Follow me: LatestTVBtn Science documentaries, described himself as a


★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

It’s really about the re-evaluation of your long term aspirations and dreams, naturally loaded with an almost toxic dose of realism. Do watch that doesn’t slide into pessimism. You can have what you want, as usual, it’s baby steps along the ladder.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

You’re still looking gorgeous! And very much ‘in your body’ at least, with all those eye balls following you, there must be someone in there, giving off all those tantalizing signals! Watch your finances stay within the realm of reality for now.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

You’ll notice a considerable lift in your perceptions as the mind planet Mercury enters your sign. Alright, this new found brainiac might suddenly find a million more distractions to keep you occupied, but at least you’re ahead of the game. Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

Richard Shayler filming Jim Al-Khalili at the Sunday Assembly at St Andrew's Church

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Tuesday 11 The Great British Sewing Bee BBC2, 8pm Claudia Winkleman presents the sewing competition and this week the seven sewing sensations (they hope) must start thinking small. Toddler-size, to be precise. With dungarees, a fancy dress outfit and a prom dress covering three ages of childhood – they grow up so fast.

The Mentalist Channel Five, 9pm So Jane goes on a date with a beautiful woman associated with the case he and Kim are working on. She’s bound to be the killer then, as Jane’s type since the passing of his wife seems to be mega-clever stunners with ambiguous morals. Oh, and there are five dead DEA agents. That needs sorting too.

Grand Designs Australia More4, 10pm Wide open spaces with wide open spaces! If ever there was a land to offer up impressive views, lots of affordable square footage and zero trouble from the neighbours (except perhaps the wildlife) Australia would be it. Eco-conscious entertainers Claire and Lisa look to improve the charm of their beach shack.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ian and Sharon visit Dot and are concerned by her behaviour. Having astonished everyone with his unexpected actions, Ian is in for a shock himself. And after being informed of a new development, a furious Carol takes matters into her own hands. 8.00 Holby City Now that Ric has been reunited with Jess, he’s determined to protect her come what may. Meanwhile Zosia suspects Guy doesn’t have his patients’ best interests at heart and Bonnie begins to question Jonny’s loyalty. 9.00 Shetland Crime drama set on the remote Scottish islands. Old wounds are painfully reopened for the residents of Ravenswick, as Detective Inspector Jimmy Perez and his team look to a past crime to solve the present day murder of a young teenage girl. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Insane Fight Club The story of Liverpool boxer Carl Wright, who fell into a coma after a title fight in Sheffield. 11.35 Swansea: Living On The Street Hard-hitting documentary series following the day-to-day life of homeless people in Swansea. 12.10am Weatherview 12.15 News

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Countryside 999 7.50 Watchdog Test House 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 Great British Garden Revival 10.05 Great British Railway Journeys 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 The Super League Show 1.45 British Isles: A Natural History 2.35 Cagney And Lacey 3.25 Bergerac 4.15 Are You Being Served? 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog Gaby Roslin hosts, as two teams of three owners and their dogs go head-tohead in a series of fun challenges. 7.00 Permission Impossible: Britain’s Planners Documentary series following the work of Britain’s environment planners. 8.00 The Great British Sewing Bee See highlights. 9.00 An Hour To Save Your Life Medical science series exploring the life or death decisions facing doctors in the first critical hour of emergency care. In this episode, medics fight to save the lives of Mick who collapses after a cardiac arrest, and motorcyclist Michael, critically injured in a high speed road accident. 10.00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme Sarah Millican chats with special guests: Michael Palin, former Blue Peter presenter Helen Skelton, and antiques guru Tim Wonnacott. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Mind The Gap: London V The Rest 12.20am Sign Zone: Britain’s Great War 4.00 Regency Life: 3 Lives In 1 Day 4.30 Pompeii: The Mystery Of The People Frozen In Time – Learning Zone 5.00 William Whiskerson 5.10 William Whiskerson 5.20 Vikings 5.55 Wonders Of Nature: Knots – Flocking

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

8.00am The Morning Line 9.00 Paralympic Winter Games 11.00 Paralympic Winter Games 12.30pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.35 Channel 4 Racing: Cheltenham Festival 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Pollard faces heartbreak as his marriage starts to crumble. Marlon and Paddy attempt a rescue mission. Ross grows suspicious about Pete and Debbie. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Bayern Munich V Arsenal Arsenal face an uphill battle as they attempt to overcome a two-goal deficit against reigning European champions Bayern Munich. The German side ran out impressive winners in the first leg at the Emirates. Despite the huge challenge, Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger will relish pitting his wits against Bayern Munich coach Pep Guardiola. Presented by Adrian Chiles, with studio guests Roy Keane, Lee Dixon and Ian Wright, and commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Matt Smith presents highlights of tonight’s second-leg games, with studio guests Lee Dixon and Andy Townsend. 11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Focussing on some of Steve Irwin’s worst times at the zoo. That’ll be a bit hairy then. 12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Freddie is furious about Sinead’s situation, but can he use it to his advantage? Ste searches everywhere for his children. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Paralympic Winter Games: Highlights 8.00 Kirstie’s Best Of Both Worlds Property series with Kirstie Allsopp. Kirstie meets Alice and Richard, who are looking for a new home between Liverpool and Manchester. 9.00 The Taste Cookery competition hosted by Nigella Lawson, Ludo Lefebvre and Anthony Bourdain. After nine weeks of blood, sweat and tantrums, just four cooks remain, battling it out to prove that they have what it takes to deliver The Taste. 10.00 Strippers Documentary series providing an insight into strip club owners, dancers and customers in Scotland. This edition shows how those involved handle the stigma attached to their profession. 11.00 Three Wives, One Husband Two-part documentary about the the Mormon community of Centennial Park, Arizona. Y 12.05am Random Acts 12.10 Channel 4 Racing: Cheltenham Festival 12.55 European Poker Tour Barcelona 1.50 KOTV Boxing Weekly 2.20 Trans World Sport 3.20 Volleyball 4.40 Freesports On 4 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Hotel Inspector 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: McBride: Murder Past Midnight (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Heath is devastated to discover that BIanca has lost her short-term memory, although a glimmer of hope emerges. 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Highland Emergency Documentary series. The RAF faces a dangerous rescue of a canyoner from a deep river gorge. The Coastguard battles the weather to save two stranded hikers on the Isle of Skye. 7.30 Police 5 Crime prevention series presented by Joe Crowley and Kate McIntyre. With Shaw Taylor. 8.00 Benidorm ER Documentary series. A bloated pensioner called Dennis has to be admitted to the intesive care unit, barmaid Janice gets a lump in her throat checked out. 9.00 The Mentalist See highlights. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Crime drama series. When a young woman takes revenge for a gang rape committed 14 years ago, the team clash with the new Assistant District Attorney. 10.55 Body Of Proof US mystery series. When the bloodless corpse of a pharmaceutical rep is pulled from the river, the case is complicated by the number of suspects. 11.55 Body Of Proof Crime drama. 12.50am SuperCasino 3.05 It Takes A Thief To Catch A Thief 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Great Artists 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Barclays Premier League Review 10.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 11.00 Football Gold 11.30 SPFL Round-Up 12.00pm FL72 Review 1.00 Football Gold 1.30 Premier League Review 2.30 The Footballers’ Football Show 3.30 FL72 Review 4.30 Football Gold 5.00 SPFL Round-Up 5.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 LIVE Champions League 10.15 Revista De La Liga 11.15 Premier League Review 12.15am Champions League 1.15 Revista De La Liga 2.15 Football Gold 2.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 3.00 Champions League 4.00 Premier League Review

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 FL72 Review 10.00 Super League Full Time 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 Snow Unleashed 1.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 Football’s Greatest Teams 4.00 Champions League 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 Premier League Review 6.00 LIVE International Cricket 10.00 Super League Backchat 10.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 11.00 Premier League Poker 12.00am International Cricket 1.00 Super League Backchat 1.30 Premier League Poker 2.30 Super League Backchat 3.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams 3.30 Revista De La Liga

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Festival Focus 9.30 SPFL RoundUp 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Snow Unleashed 12.00pm ATP Masters Tennis 1.00 Taekwondo World Grand Prix Finals 2.00 Snow Unleashed 2.30 Max Power 3.30 F1 Team Review 5.00 ATP Masters Tennis 6.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 4.30am IRB Sevens Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








10.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: LA (x2) 2.00 Harrow: A Very British School 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 NCIS: LA 10.00 The Smoke 11.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Hair 10.00 Pramface 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Hair 1.10 Pramface 1.40 EDL Girls: Don’t Call Me Racist 2.40 Great Movie Mistakes V: Revenge Of The Fifth 3.00 Hair

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys Goes To Ireland 8.00 Weird Nature 8.30 Secrets Of Bones 9.00 Fossil Wonderlands 10.00 The First World War 10.50 Agnetha: ABBA And After 11.50 Good Swan, Bad Swan: Dancing Swan Lake 12.50am The Golden Age Of Steam Railways

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 FILM: White Chicks (2004) 12.20am Two And A Half Men (x2)

11.40am The House Of Eliott 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.50 Columbo: Now You See Him 3.50 Duty Free 4.15 Home To Roost 4.50 Second Thoughts 5.20 The Upper Hand 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Whitechapel 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.00am A Is For Acid

2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 New Girl 3.30 The Mindy Project 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Rude Tube 7.45 FILM: Mission: Impossible (1996) 10.00 Troy 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Rude Tube

3.00pm Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3.35 A Place In The Sun 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 The Restoration Man 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 10.00 Grand Designs Australia. See highlights. 11.10 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 12.15am Grand Designs

11.00am The Desperadoes (1943) 12.45pm Edge Of Darkness (1943) 3.05 The Ladykillers (1955) 4.55 The Gift Horse (1952) 6.55 Big Business (1988) 8.50 Deep Blue Sea Interview Special 9.00 Predators (2010) 11.10 The Burning Plain (2008) 1.25am Neon Bible (1995) 3.25 Close



City Of...Business

An informal, fun and popular networking event with the added bonus of delicious curries at the monthly Brighton Business Curry Club

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Wednesday 12 Astronauts: Living In Space Channel 4, 9pm So you’ve seen Gravity, now you think you know what it’s like to live in space. Think again. Concentrating on the work of astronauts Rick Mastracchio, Koichi Wakata and Mike Hopkins, this revealing documentary follows the effects microgravity has on day-to-day tasks, like eating, sleeping and washing.

The Miners’ Strike And Me ITV1, 10.35pm Marking the 30th anniversary of the twelve months of striking that changed the landscape of the country, with tales from all sides of the battleground. Including interviews with striking miners, women who ran soup kitchens to combat the poverty, politicians, police and those that returned to work carrying the brand of ‘scab’.

The Tomorrow People E4, 9pm Sci fi drama, as Stephen thinks he’s actually found a clue as to what has happened to his dear old pa. The others are less convinced. It’s not always easy to sell ‘implausible’ as a concept within a sci-fi context. Hmm. Meanwhile, John reveals some shocking news that ultimately affects everyone’s future.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 Waterloo Road School-based drama. Kacey’s boxing career is jeopardised when a challenge by Gabriella goes horribly wrong. Simon turns to Christine when he finds himself unable to cope with the challenges of Acting Head. 9.00 Famous Rich And Hungry Featuring Cheryl Fergison, Jamie Lang, Theo Paphitis, and Rachel Johnson living on the streets and doing their learning for Sports Relief. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker asks the questions in the light-hearted sports quiz. Regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell lead their team of sporting celebrities through popular rounds such as Picture Board, Home or Away and Mystery Guest. 11.05 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show Celebrity chat with award-winning comedian Michael McIntyre. Michael is joined by veteran chat-show host and broadcaster Sir Terry Wogan. Lily Allen discusses her recent return to music, and business tycoon and star of ‘The Apprentice’, Lord Alan Sugar joins Michael for a chat. 11.55 Blandings Comedy series. 12.25am Weatherview 12.30 News

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Countryside 999 7.45 Watchdog Test House 8.15 Wanted Down Under 9.00 Inside The Animal Mind 10.00 An Island Parish 10.30 See Hear 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm The A To Z Of TV Cooking 1.20 War Walks 1.50 British Isles: A Natural History 2.40 Cagney And Lacey 3.25 Bergerac 4.15 Are You Being Served? 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 5.55 Party Political Broadcast By The Conservative Party 6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog Gaby Roslin hosts, as two teams of three owners and their dogs go head-tohead in a series of fun challenges. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Antiques Road Trip. 8.00 Collectaholics Collectaholics. 9.00 Line Of Duty Police drama series. Lindsay fights for her life as troubling details emerge of a vicious conspiracy involving corrupt police officers. With growing evidence of links between DCC Dryden and the ambush, Hastings is under pressure to arrest his senior officer. 10.00 Inside No 9 A season of dark comedies by Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith. Ordinarily, Hector and Tabitha never go out as they have to look after their disabled elder brother. But tonight’s event is so special that they are going to need a carer. And Katy’s not going to turn down £88, is she? 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 An Hour To Save Your Life Medical science series exploring the life or death decisions facing doctors in the first critical hour of emergency care. 12.20am Sign Zone: See Hear 4.00 The Code 4.30 Who Needs Maths? 5.00 3, 2, 1, Go! 5.55 Wonders Of Nature: Mandarin Duck – First Flight

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00am Paralympic Winter Games 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Paralympic Winter Games 11.00 Undercover Boss Canada 12.00pm River Cottage Veg Heroes 12.30 Channel 4 News Summary 12.35 Cheltenham Festival: Channel 4 Racing 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.25 Party Political Broadcast By The Conservative Party 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ross blackmails Pete after learning about his relationship with Debbie 7.30 Coronation Street Carla is haunted by her past and present. Protective Steve has words with Tony. Owen and Gary bide their time. 8.00 You Saw Them Here First Robert Webb narrates this two-part programme. Coronation Street’s Sue Nicholls reveals that she once kissed Jesus, Hollyoaks actor Nick Pickard is confronted with the day he turned into a lizard and Brian Blessed regales us with the moment Judi Dench spat at him on Z Cars. 9.00 Law & Order: UK Crime drama series. DS Ronnie Brooks is joined by his new partner DS Joe Hawkins as they investigate the death of a jeweller, Harry Bernstein, whose body is found minus his hands and teeth. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Miners’ Strike And Me See highlights. 11.40 The Jonathan Ross Show In the last show of the series, Jonathan welcomes Sir Richard Branson, singer and Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Hudson and comedian Sue Perkins. 12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 Columbo: Strange Bedfellows 4.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sinead is desperate to win back her daughter. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Paralympic Winter Games: Highlights Jonathan Edwards and Ade Adepitan look back at day five of the Paralympic Winter Games. 8.00 Secret Eaters Anna Richardson presents the documentary series that examines the psychology of eating. Friends Faye and Laura are baffled by their weight gain, with extra hours in the gym proving fruitless. The lifelong pals agree to be put under 24hour camera surveillance in the hope of finding out if their diets are the chief source of their problem. 9.00 Astronauts: Living In Space See highlights. 10.00 First Dates Dating series in which singletons look for love in a restaurant full of other diners who are also hoping to start a relationship. Mostafa returns to the restaurant after an unsuccessful date and meets Megan, who is trying to move on after being cheated on in the past. 11.00 Strippers Documentary series. 12.00am Random Acts 12.05 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 12.50 FILM: The Sea Inside (2004) 3.00 FILM: Niagara (1952) 4.30 Location, Location, Location 5.25 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 5.45 River Cottage Bites

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Gadget Show 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: McBride: The Chameleon Murder (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Tensions are rising in the MacGuire household after the twins discover that Zac slept with Hannah. 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Dangerous Drivers’ School Documentary series. 8.00 The Hitchhiker Slayer: Born To Kill? Documentary series investigating what drove notorious killers to commit their crimes. In late 1976 and early 1977, female students at the University of California in Santa Barbara were terrorised by a grim series of lookalike murders, socalled because the victims closely resembled one another. 9.00 NCIS American crime drama. When a lieutenant who has just returned from the Middle East is found dead, the NCIS team wants to interrogate his friend who suffers from a war trauma. 10.00 Suspects Fly-on-the-wall-style crime drama series. The stabbing of a 13-year-old schoolgirl in a notorious London park leads to an investigation into an organised paedophile ring. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama. 11.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series. 12.50am SuperCasino 3.05 70 Stone And Almost Dead 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 UEFA Champions League 10.00 Barclays Premier League Review 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00pm Football’s Greatest International Teams 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 UEFA Champions League 2.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Football’s Greatest Teams 4.30 UEFA Champions League 5.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 LIVE UEFA Champions League 10.15 What’s The Story? 11.15 Cricket: Twenty20 International 12.15am UEFA Champions League 1.15 What’s The Story? 2.15 Football Gold 3.00 UEFA Champions League 4.00 What’s The Story? 5.00 UEFA Champions League

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Revista De La Liga 7.00 International Cricket 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Max Power 10.00 ATP Tour Tennis 11.00 International Cricket 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Ashes Modern Day Classics 1.30 International Cricket 2.30 ATP Tour Tennis 3.30 Ashes Modern Day Classics 4.00 Live T20 Cricket 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Total Rugby 9.30 Inside The PGA Tour 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Max Power 12.00am Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Max Power 2.00 TBA 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Boots ‘n’ All 4.00 T20 Cricket 5.00 Boots ‘n’ All

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 WWE Vintage 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Festival Focus 9.30 Football Gold 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Snow Unleashed 12.00pm ATP Masters Tennis 1.00 Snow Unleashed 1.30 WWE: The Bottom Line 2.30 WWE Afterburn 3.30 F1 Team Review 5.00 ATP Masters Tennis 6.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 2.00am Watersports World 3.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 5.30 Sporting Greats Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky








2.00pm Harrow: A Very British School 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 LIVE: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 11.00 Armed & Dangerous: Ultimate Forces 12.00am NCIS: LA (x2)

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Free Speech 9.00 Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday 10.00 Ja’mie: Private School Girl 10.30 Bad Education 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday 1.30 Ja’mie: Private School Girl 2.00 Free Speech

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 The TwoThousand-Year-Old Computer 9.00 How To Get Ahead: At Medieval Court 10.00 Great Barrier Reef 11.00 Parks And Recreation (x2) 11.45 Photographing Africa 12.45am Lost Kingdoms Of South America

4.10pm Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Party Wright Around The World 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.50 The Big Reunion 2014 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am Fake Reaction

12.35pm Heartbeat 1.35 Columbo 3.40 Duty Free 4.15 Home To Roost 4.50 Second Thoughts 5.20 The Upper Hand 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Paul O’Grady: For The Love Of Dogs (x2) 10.00 Wire In The Blood 11.05 Law & Order: UK 12.10am The Brides In The Bath

4.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 The Tomorrow People. See highlights. 10.00 Rude Tube 11.00 My Mad Fat Diary 12.00am Brooklyn Nine-Nine

12.55pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.35 A Place In The Sun 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 The Restoration Man 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 11.00 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 12.05am Grand Designs 1.10 The Good Wife

11.00am Heavens Above! (1963) 1.20pm Gaslight (1940) 3.00 Bless This House (1972) 4.50 Funny Face (1957) 6.55 Clueless (1995) 9.00 Die Hard 4.0 (2007) 11.30 The Deep Blue Sea (2011) 1.25am Good Luck Chuck (2007) 3.35 Close

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Thursday 13 FILM: My Week With Marilyn BBC2, 9pm Ever thought Jen from Dawson’s Creek looks like Marilyn Monroe? You are not alone. Michelle Williams stars as the blonde bombshell in this tale of a young Englishman’s time spent with the troubled star while she was in the UK. Sweet, damaged and enchanting lady.

How To Be A Billionaire Channel 4, 10pm Money! The root of all evil and yet nobody quite has enough of it. Even this lot. Meeting some of the wealthiest and most successful individuals and finding out how they became that way. Oh, and also what they do with all their moolah. From a search for immortality to a personal space programme, this is another world.

Nashville More4, 10pm Is this drama all about the politics or the music – and who can tell the difference? With Lamar’s assets frozen, Rayna decides to attend a high profile polo match to seek investors for her record label. Yeah, even though there are horses around no one’s biting. And Teddy tells the press he and Peggy are getting married


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders To protect their mother, Sonia and Bianca make a pact to hide the truth from her. But they are not the only ones lying to Carol. It is judgement day for David, and Fatboy’s plan quickly backfires. 8.00 Holiday Hit Squad Angela Rippon, Helen Skelton and Joe Crowley explore how to make the very best of a holiday break and along with the toughest hotel inspectors in the business, investigate how to make sure holidays across the globe live up to their promise. Angela investigates the potentially life shattering dangers of water parks. 9.00 Famous Rich And Hungry More from the celebirities on the street for Sports Relief. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby presents the topical debate from Nottingham. On the panel are shadow foreign secretary Douglas Alexander MP and star of the Apprentice, Nick Hewer. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, with Michael Portillo and guests. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 BBC News

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Countryside 999 7.50 Watchdog Test House 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 Bible Hunters 10.05 An Island Parish 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 1.20 War Walks 1.50 British Isles: A Natural History 2.40 Cagney And Lacey 3.25 Bergerac 4.15 Are You Being Served? 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog Gaby Roslin hosts, as two teams of three owners and their dogs go head-tohead in a series of fun challenges. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Finding old stuff, while you travel around the place, and hope the old stuff is worth a mint. Innit. 8.00 The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure Cookery series in which the Hairy Bikers tour the birthplaces of favourite Asian cuisines. The bikers head off into the heart of traditional Japan to find out the historic roots of Japanese cuisine. Dave puts his Strictly fancy footwork into action kneading noodle dough the artisan way, they take an awe-inspiring bike ride to see Mount Fuji, spend a night at a Buddhist temple and are entertained by one of Kyoto’s geisha, complete with traditional drinking games. 9.00 FILM: My Week With Marilyn (2011) See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Restaurant Man Tony in Gravesend thinks launching an Italian pizzeria is going to be one big happy family business. Unfortunately, his children have very different feelings about helping their domineering dad build his dream. 12.20am Sign Zone: Panorama 4.00 3, 2, 1, Go! 5.00 Counting With Rodd

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00am Paralympic Winter Games 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Paralympic Winter Games 11.00 Paralympic Winter Games 12.30pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.35 Cheltenham Festival: Channel 4 Racing 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 UEFA Champions League 10.00 What’s The Story? 11.00 UEFA Champions League 12.00pm What’s The Story? 1.00 UEFA Champions League 2.00 What’s The Story? 3.00 ATP Tour Tennis 4.00 What’s The Story? 5.00 FL72 Preview 6.00 Ringside 7.00 LIVE Premier League Darts 10.30 Ringside 11.30 The Rugby Club 12.30am Darts Gold 12.45 Darts Gold 1.00 Premier League Darts 4.30 Darts Gold 4.45 Darts Gold 5.00 Ringside

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.45 Emmerdale Belle is emotional and struggles to hide her secret. 7.45 UEFA Europa League Matt Smith presents live coverage of one of tonight’s Europa League ties. 10.10 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.45 Edge Of Heaven Comedy drama series set in a Margate guesthouse. 11.45 The Cube 12.45 Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks With Freddie’s offer weighing heavily on her mind, what will a distraught Sinead decide? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Paralympic Winter Games 8.00 The Hoarder Next Door Psychotherapist Stelios Kiosses helps compulsive hoarders overcome their problems. Alex from Leeds is one of Britain’s biggest hoarders. No pressure then Stelios. 9.00 Astronauts: Houston, We Have A Problem Documentary with unique access to NASA Mission Control, following the crucial work of the flight controllers, scientists, engineers and medics who support crews in space. 10.00 How To Be A Billionaire See highlights. 11.05 Arkle: The Legend Lives On Documentary. In 1964, the greatest steeplechaser of all time beat the champion of England in the Cheltenham Gold Cup. Arkle’s victory over Mill House became known as the Race of the Century. This film celebrates the 50th anniversary of that extraordinary race. 12.05am Cheltenham Festival Highlights 12.50 Random Acts 12.55 One Born Every Minute 1.55 First Dates 2.50 Secret Removers 3.45 Location, Location, Location 4.40 River Cottage Bites 4.50 SuperScrimpers 5.15 Deal Or No

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Lying To Be Perfect (2010) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away VJ and Jett hand out flyers about a party. 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 The Truth About Travellers Henry McKean presents a documentary series looking at the culture of modern traveller communities in Ireland. 8.00 It Takes A Thief To Catch A Thief Documentary series in which a policeman and reformed thief join forces to show shopkeepers and their security guards how thieves are getting away with stealing their livelihood. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi fires off some hard-hitting advice to the owner of the Gungate Hotel in Tamworth. 10.00 Botched Up Bodies: Abroad Documentary. Last year 25,000 Brits travelled abroad for cosmetic surgery and more are ending up botched up abroad. Here are some of them. 11.00 Extraordinary People: Hayley – World’s Oldest Teenager The teenage years are traumatic enough but 13-year-old Hayley has more problems than most. She is afflicted by Progeria, a rare condition which causes her to age eight times faster than usual. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.05 Booze, BustUps And Brothels 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

***Alternative Schedule*** 6.15 Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Belle is emotional and struggles to hide her secret. . 7.30 The Truth About Immigration: Tonight Julie Etchingham investigates. 8.00 Emmerdale 8.30 Ade At Sea Adrian Edmondson explores Britain’s maritime past and its influence today. 9.00 It’ll Be Alright On The Night Griff Rhys Jones presents a selection of slip ups, bloopers and blunders. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Edge Of Heaven Comedy drama series. 11.35 The Cube Game show. 12.30am Jackpot247

Sky Sports 2 6.00am T20 Cricket 7.00 Boots ‘n’ All 8.00 T20 Cricket 9.00 Super League Full Time 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 T20 Cricket 12.00pm International Cricket 1.00 T20 Cricket 2.00 Ashes Modern Day Classics 2.30 Brian Lara Masterclass 5.30 Ashes Modern Day Classics 6.00 LIVE International Cricket 10.00 FL72 Preview 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 Football Gold 11.45 Football Gold 12.00am International Cricket 1.00 Rugby Club 2.00 International Cricket 3.00 Ringside 4.00 International Cricket 5.00 FL72 Preview

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Festival Focus 9.30 Haute Route Cycling 10.00 Cycling - Tirreno Adriatico 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Snow Unleashed 12.00pm ATP Masters Tennis 1.00 Carp World Cup 2.00 Taekwondo World Grand Prix Finals 3.00 WWE Vintage 4.00 F1 Team Review 5.00 Carp World Cup 6.00 Rugby Club 7.00 ATP Masters Tennis 8.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 10.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 Ringside 2.00 Live ATP Masters Tennis 4.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 4.30 Rugby Club 5.30 Super League Superstars

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








10.00am Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 12.00pm NCIS: LA (x2) 2.00 Harrow: A Very British School 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 The Smoke 10.00 Revolution 11.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Hair 9.00 Junior Paramedics 10.00 Bluestone 42 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Bluestone 42 1.00 Junior Paramedics 2.00 Hair 3.00 Junior Paramedics

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 Ever Decreasing Circles 8.30 Brushing Up On... 9.00 Hidden Histories: WW1’s Forgotten Photographs 10.00 The Walshes 10.30 What Do Artists Do All Day? 11.00 Helmut By June 11.55 Southern Rock At The BBC 12.55am Sounds Of The 70s 2

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 The Big Reunion 2014 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.50 Dads 11.15 Mom (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men (x2)

12.45pm Heartbeat 1.45 Columbo: Fade In To Murder 3.20 Murder, She Wrote 4.20 Home To Roost 4.55 Second Thoughts 5.20 The Upper Hand 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Lewis 10.00 Wire In The Blood 11.05 Law & Order: UK 12.05am FILM: Rising Damp (1979)

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 9.30 The Inbetweeners 10.00 Fresh Meat 10.50 Troy 11.55 Rude Tube 1.00am 2 Broke Girls 1.30 Revenge

10.45am FILM: The Desert Fox (1951) 12.30pm Paralympic Winter Games 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 The Restoration Man 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Nashville. See highlights. 11.00 Southland 11.55 Grand Designs (x2) 2.05am Southland

11.00am O’ Horten (2007) 12.50pm Dragoon Wells Massacre (1957) 2.35 Air Force (1943) 5.00 Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 6.40 Chocolat (2000) 9.00 Bad Teacher (2011) 10.50 Rundskop (2011) 1.15am Breathless (2008) 3.55 Close

Every night is a Saturday night in Brighton ALL your listings at

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028_LS669_TV_fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 05/03/2014 12:42 Page 1

Friday 14 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Channel 4, 8pm A new series to set your TiVo boxes and other recording devices for – it’s series two and we kick off with a bit of reveal we’ve been waiting to find out about for some time: what happened when Coulson died. Thing is, it’s under interrogation from Centipede. They’re baddies.

Jonathan Creek BBC1, 9pm It’s a meeting of the amateurdetectives-who-are-smarterthen-the-police as June Whitfield aka Miss Marple (in another series) arrives in Jonathan Creek-land. You can bet there’ll be something that just doesn’t fit together and then finally is worried into place to make the impossible possible. Natch.

FILM: Inkheart Film4, 6.45pm What would happen if every time you read a story it literally came to life off the page? Well, it would depend on what you were reading, but for the purposes of this you could end up with your wife trapped in a book while you are on the run with your daughter, escaping the villains and vagabonds of literature. Cool.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Countryside 999 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Light-hearted sports quiz, with Sue Barker asking the questions to regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. 8.00 EastEnders An unwell Carol’s suspicions are aroused, but who can she trust? 8.30 Room 101 Frank Skinner presents the comedy panel show, as Sue Perkins, Bruno Tonioli and Steve Jones strive to have their pet hates consigned to the depths of Room 101. 9.00 Jonathan Creek See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 New Tricks Drama featuring an eccentric group of ex-police officers. The UCOS team reinvestigates the murder of an unnamed vagrant strangled on a tube train 15 years ago, after DNA tests on a suspect in a warehouse robbery reveal him to be the dead man’s son. 11.35 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon is back in the host’s chair for the seventh series of the comedy panel show. David Mitchell and Lee Mack are joined by Charles Dance OBE, Stephen Mangan, Isy Suttie and Gok Wan. 12.05am EastEnders 2.00 Weatherview 2.05 BBC News

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Countryside 999 7.50 Watchdog Test House 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10.05 Pound Shop Wars 10.35 The Travel Show 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 1.20 War Walks 1.50 British Isles: A Natural History 2.40 Cagney And Lacey 3.25 Bergerac 4.15 Are You Being Served? 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog Gaby Roslin hosts, as two teams of three owners and their dogs go head-tohead in a series of fun challenges. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip Picking up old masters en route. Hopefully. 8.00 Mastermind Subjects are Vincent Van Gogh, the Black Death, the Musketeer novels of Alexandre Dumas, Field Marshal William Slim and the Eurovision Song Contest. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. 9.00 I Was There: The Great War Diaries First person testimony as to the realities of World War I. 10.00 QI Quiz show. Stephen Fry looks into knits, knots and other things starting with K, with Sue Perkins, Ross Noble, David Mitchell and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.05 FILM: The Last Station (2009) Starring Helen Mirren, Christopher Plummer, Paul Giamatti. Biographical drama. Young Valentin Bulgakov gains a post as personal assistant to Leo Tolstoy through Chertkov, the leader of the Tolstoyan movement, who attempt to promote Tolstoy’s views on world peace and pacifism throughout the world. 12.50am Sign Zone: Question Time 1.50 Sign Zone: Wild Brazil

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.10am Will And Grace 6.35 Will And Grace 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Undercover Boss Canada 11.30 Paralympic Winter Games 12.30pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.35 Cheltenham Festival: Channel 4 Racing 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The strain starts to show as Lisa continues to lie to Zak about Belle. 7.30 Coronation Street Carla agrees to do a pregnancy test. 8.00 Student Nurses: Bedpans And Bandages An observational series. Mental health nurse Kelsie is faced with a phobia, new girl Kelly comes to the end of her placement and second year Dany says a final farewell to a special patient. 8.30 Coronation Street Tina fumes as Peter lets her down again. 9.00 Edge Of Heaven Comedy drama series set in a Margate guesthouse. Having walked out on Michelle just a week ago, Alfie is now anxious to patch things up with her - until he begins to wonder if Carly might want him back. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Americans Cold War drama series. Nina gets closer to Stan, and begins to uncover his role in Vlad’s death. 11.35 The Americans When Phillip and Elizabeth are ordered to go through with a meeting that could be a set-up, they find themselves faced with some unexpected truths about their relationship. 12.25am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sienna continues to blackmail Maxine. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Paralympic Winter Games Ade Adepitan and Jonathan Edwards look back at the best events from Day Seven of the Paralympic Winter Games in Russia. 8.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. See highlights. 9.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series. The shows include the Paralympic Winter Games, Call the Midwife, Secret Eaters and the finals of Dancing on Ice and The Taste. Narrated by Caroline Aherne. 10.00 The Last Leg Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker present the comedy show looking back at significant moments of the past seven days. 10.50 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr hosts the topical comedy panel show. Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Mel Giedroyc, Johnny Vegas and Aisling Bea. 11.35 Brooklyn Nine-Nine US police sitcom. When Sal’s Pizza burns down, Jake must prove that the owner is innocent of arson. 12.05am Random Acts 12.10 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 12.55 FILM: Drillbit Taylor (2008) 2.35 The Simpsons 3.00 Happy Endings 3.20 Franklin & Bash 4.05 The Good Wife 4.50 Deal Or No Deal

6.00am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Dangerous Drivers’ School 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.15 FILM: Desperate Escape (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The man looking for Andy turns out to be Sean Green, a character from Andy’s unsavoury past who is seeking revenge for a previous incident. 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 The Gadget Show Actionpacked tech consumer show. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Reality series. 9.00 Booze BustUps And Brothels Documentary fly-on-the-wall series looking at life on one of the busiest beats of Central London’s cops and ambulance services. In this episode, they catch Britain’s biggest shoplifting gang, rescue a man who has fallen two storeys, give emergency treatment to a diabetic and do their best for Soho’s homeless. 10.00 NCIS: LA Spin-off police drama series. An unmanned Predator drone goes missing, and the team must locate it before the remaining missiles are used against the American people. 11.00 CSI: NY US crime drama series. The team investigates a 20year-old case when the main suspect is found dead on the anniversary of a little boy’s disappearance. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.05 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FL72 Preview 10.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 10.30 ATP Tour Tennis 11.30 Premier League World 12.00pm Ringside 1.00 FL72 Preview 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 Ringside 3.30 The Rugby Club 4.30 Super League Superstars 5.00 Snow Unleashed 5.30 Spanish Football Gold 6.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 Fantasy Football Club 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.15 Fantasy Football Club 11.15 Premier League Preview 11.45 Super League: Grand Final Gold 12.00am Super League 1.00 Fantasy Football Club 2.00 Cricket: Twenty20 International 3.00 Super League 3.55 Netball Superleague

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Rugby Club 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Rugby Club 11.00 Super League Superstars 11.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 12.00pm UEFA Champions League 2.00 Super League Superstars 2.30 ATP Tour Tennis 3.30 Ashes Modern Day Classics 4.00 LIVE Cricket: Twenty20 International 7.55 LIVE Netball Superleague 10.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Netball Superleague 3.05 Tight Lines 4.00 Fantasy Football Club 5.00 Cricket: Twenty20 International

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 Ringside 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Festival Focus 9.30 Football Gold 10.00 Cycling - Tirreno Adriatico 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Snow Unleashed 12.00pm Premier League Darts 3.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 4.00 WWE: Raw 6.00 ATP Masters Tennis 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Spanish Football Gold 8.30 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 12.30am Football Gold 1.00 Tight Lines 2.00 Champions League Weekly 2.30 Fantasy Football Club 3.30 Super League Superstars 4.00 Champions League Weekly 4.30 ATP Tour Uncovered Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








2.00pm Harrow: A Very British School 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x4) 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Stella 10.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 11.00 Moone Boy 11.30 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.30am Hawaii Five-0 (x2)

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes IV: May The Fourth Be With You 7.30 Doctor Who (x2) 9.00 FILM: Blades Of Glory (2007) 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Pramface 1.00 Ja’mie: Private School Girl 1.30 Impractical Jokers 2.00 Who Needs Ibiza?

7.00pm News 7.30 Transatlantic Sessions 8.00 In Their Own Words: 20th Century Composers 9.00 The Byrd Who Flew Alone: The Triumphs And Tragedy Of Gene Clark 10.30 California Comes To The Whistle Test 11.30 The Beatles’ Please Please Me: Remaking A Classic 12.30am The Byrd Who Flew Alone

1.30pm You’ve Been Framed! 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: White Chicks (2004) 11.20 Take Me Out 12.35am Two And A Half Men (x2)

1.40pm Columbo 3.15 Murder, She Wrote 4.15 Home To Roost 4.45 Second Thoughts 5.15 The Upper Hand 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 David Suchet On The Orient Express 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.05am FILM: Bloody Sunday (2002)

3.00pm New Girl 3.30 The Mindy Project 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Big Bang Theory 8.00 Troy 9.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) 11.05 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 12.00am Rude Tube: Total Stunts

10.05am FILM: Bear Island (1979) 12.30pm Paralympic Winter Games 4.05 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 The Restoration Man 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 FILM: P.S. I Love You (2007) 11.30 Sex Story: Fifty Shades Of Grey 12.35am Sex On Wheels 1.40 Embarrassing Bodies

11.00am The Private Lives Of Elizabeth And Essex (1939) 1.05pm The Spoilers (1955) 2.45 Went The Day Well? (1944) 4.35 Only The Valiant (1951) 6.45 Inkheart (2008). See highlights. 9.00 Don’t Say A Word (2001) 11.15 The Eagle (2011) 1.25am Dog Soldiers (2001) 3.50 Close

“There was a great gig last night.” “No, it was rubbish!” The verdict’s out at

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029_LS669_SatTV_L7wed14apr.qxd 07/03/2014 11:35 Page 1

Saturday 15 The Voice BBC1, 7.15pm It’s brutal knockout time for The Voice as the seven hopefuls on each team are whittled down to just three. Expect tension and tears as each singer gives it their best shot to impress the coaches. Who will Kylie, Ricky, Tom and will i am choose to go through to the live shows? And whose dreams will be crushed?

Live Boxing: The Maxi Nutrition Knockout Channel Five, 10pm Live boxing at its best with this brand new competition featuring eight of the nation’s top lightheavyweights. Reading veteran Dean Francis fights 28-year-old Bob Ajisafe from Leeds in the first two rounds, before Tony Hill takes on Leon Senior. Who will you be rooting for?

Salamander BBC4, 9pm Who doesn’t love a Flemish police drama? The first of this double bill sees Paul Geradi seek shelter with the man who – shock horror – ordered the bank robbery in the first place, while episode two reveals what happened between the fathers of Jokhere and millionaire Wolfs during WWII – what could it be?


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Football Focus 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Six Nations Rugby: Italy v England 2.30 Six Nations Rugby: Wales v Scotland 4.35 Six Nations Rugby: France v Ireland

6.10am Sport Relief’s Top Dog 6.40 Sport Relief’s Top Dog 7.10 Sport Relief’s Top Dog 7.40 Sport Relief’s Top Dog 8.10 Sport Relief’s Top Dog 8.40 Life On Earth 9.35 Life On Earth 10.30 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 11.00 Great British Railway Journeys 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts 12.15pm Mary Berry Cooks 12.45 James Stewart: Talking Pictures 1.35 FILM: Rope (1948) 2.55 Formula 1: The Australian Grand Prix – Qualifying Highlights 4.25 Final Score 5.30 Llanelly House Restored 6.30 Flog It! Members of the public are invited to try to make money out of their antiques. 7.30 Dad’s Army More classic comedy with the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard. Pike loses his way in a minefield. Don’t panic! 8.00 The Perfect Morecambe & Wise In this compilation of the best bits of Morecambe & Wise, Eric and Ernie give us their take on the 1970’s cop series Starsky and Hutch. 8.30 Viking Art: A Culture Show Special Andrew Graham-Dixon explores the splendours of Viking art. 9.30 QI Stephen Fry casts light on the subject of illumination. With Jack Dee, Chris Addison, Rich Hall and Alan Davies. 10.00 Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle Stewart Lee’s award-winning stand-up series returns after a three year absence, as he takes on six new subjects in his own unique style. 10.30 FILM: Page Eight (2011) Starring Bill Nighy, Rachel Weisz, Michael Gambon, Tom Hughes. Spy drama. Johnny Worricker is a longserving MI5 officer. His boss and best friend Benedict Baron dies suddenly, leaving behind him an inexplicable file, threatening the stability of the organisation. 12.10am FILM: Unrelated (2007) 1.50 FILM: Battle Beyond The Stars (1980)

6.00 – 7.15am Children’s television 7.15 Om Nom Stories 7.20 Sooty 7.30 Scrambled! 7.35 Almost Naked Animals 7.50 Adventure Time 8.30 Horrid Henry 8.50 The Aquabats! Super Show! 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Dinner Date 10.25 Murder, She Wrote 11.25 ITV News & Weather 11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12.05pm The Unforgettable Larry Grayson 12.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 1.30 Midsomer Murders 3.25 FILM: Zookeeper (2011) 5.30 ITV News Meridian 5.40 ITV News & Weather 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Senior Moments Harry Hill looks back at the top 100 videos which prove that age is but a number. 7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway Ant and Dec continue the latest series of their fun-packed live family entertainment show. After surprising another handful of unsuspecting audience members, the Geordie duo reveal what happened when they went undercover to turn the tables on Surprise Surprise presenter Holly Willoughby. 8.20 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show, inviting more contestants to see if they can take on the cube and win £250,000. 9.20 The Americans Cold War drama series following two KGB agents posing as Americans. Elizabeth and Phillip find they have not only put themselves and their network at risk, but also their family, when a routine mission goes awry. 10.15 ITV News; Weather 10.30 FILM: The Return (2006) Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Peter O’Brien, Adam Scott. Supernatural chiller. After suffering recurring visions of a murder in a remote farmhouse, a businesswoman decides to investigate her troubling dreams. 12.00am Jackpot247 3.00 In Plain Sight 3.45 ITV Nightscreen

11.00am Paralympic Winter Games 1.30pm Channel 4 Racing 4.10 Come Dine With Me 4.40 Come Dine With Me 5.10 Come Dine With Me 5.45 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 City Of Friends 7.50 Little Princess 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 Angelina Ballerina 8.40 Rupert Bear 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 Jelly Jamm 9.30 LazyTown 10.00 Access 10.15 Police 5 10.45 It Takes A Thief To Catch A Thief 11.45 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!12.45pm The Hotel Inspector 1.45 FILM: Kate And Leopold (2001) 3.55 FILM: Columbo: Publish Or Perish (1974) 5.25 Columbo: Prescription Murder 7.05 NCIS US drama series following the navy’s dedicated federal agency. Gibbs and the team try to find out who was responsible for an explosion that killed two NCIS agents. Initially suspecting a suicide bomber was to blame, the team is baffled when some confusing new evidence comes to light and changes everything. 8.00 NCIS Drama series following the US navy’s dedicated federal agency. McGee finds himself under pressure while investigating a double murder apparently inspired by his latest novel. His feelings of guilt are compounded when one of his colleagues is targeted by the killer. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. An informant is shot dead just as he is about to pass on crucial information concerning an arms dealer and Shepard begins a relentless pursuit of his killer. But Gibbs and the team wonder if a personal motivation is clouding her judgement. 9.55 5 News Weekend 10.00 Live Boxing: The Maxi Nutrition Knockout See highlights. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Benidorm ER 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 The Funky Valley Show 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.10 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Hana’s Helpline 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

6.00am Barclays Premier League Preview 6.30 Ringside 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Fantasy Football Club 9.00 Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Football League 2.30 Saturday Team Talk 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.00 Live Ford Saturday Night Football 8.00 Saturday Night Football – Game Of The Day 10.00 Saturday Night Football – Match Choice 11.30 Football League 12.00am Saturday Reloaded 1.00 Saturday Night Football – Match Choice 2.30 Saturday Night Football – Match Choice 4.00 Football League 4.30 Spanish Football 5.30 Scottish Football League

7.00 BBC News 7.10 South East Today 7.15 The Voice UK See highlights. 8.35 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins Nick Knowles hosts the National Lottery quiz where two teams of strangers play against each other to complete a series of lists and win up to £100,000. Includes the live Lottery draws hosted by Kate Garraway, including Lotto and Thunderball. 9.25 Casualty Medical drama series about the staff at Holby General’s emergency department. 10.15 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights of eight Premier League matches. In the early kick-off, title-chasing Manchester City travel to Hull. Despite Steve Bruce’s Tigers side enjoying a successful return to the top flight, the threat of relegation back to the Championship still looms large, and City’s goal-crazy squad will be very difficult opponents. Elsewhere, Aston Villa have struggled hugely at home this season and face another title contender in Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea. In the other matches, Everton take on Cardiff, Fulham play Newcastle, Southampton host Norwich, Stoke face West Ham, and Sunderland welcome Crystal Palace. 12.05am The Football League Show 1.25 Weatherview 1.30 News

6.10 Channel 4 News 6.35 Paralympic Winter Games: Highlights Ade Adepitan and Jonathan Edwards present highlights from the penultimate day of the Winter Paralympic Games in Sochi. . 7.05 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. US drama series about secret agents. Repeat from Friday. 8.00 Hostages American drama series. A member of the president’s staff gets murdered so the staff decide to take matters in their own hands. Ellen finds a possible donor for Duncan’s wife. 9.00 FILM: Limitless (2011) Starring Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro, Abbie Cornish, Anna Friel, Johnny Whitworth and Andrew Howard. Thriller. A failing writer turns his life around when an old friend introduces him to a designer drug that allows him to use 100 per cent of his brain as opposed to the standard 20. That’ll work out fine, right? 11.05 FILM: The Rum Diary (2011) Starring Johnny Depp, Giovanni Ribisi, Aaron Eckhart. Comedy based on Hunter S Thompson’s semiautobiographical novel about an young American escaping the chaos and noise of New York to find his feet as a journalist in Puerto Rico. 1.20am The Good Wife 2.05 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.10 Trans World Sport 5.05 Mobil 1 The Grid 5.30 Paralympic Winter Games

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sporting Greats 6.30 Super Rugby 8.30 Super Rugby 10.30 Super Rugby Extra Time 11.00 ATP Tour Tennis 12.00pm Cross Country 12.55 Super Rugby 3.00 Super Rugby 5.00 Cross Country 6.00 Ringside 7.00 LIVE Fight Night 11.30 Sporting Greats 12.00am Scottish Football League 12.30 Spanish Football 1.30 Fight Night

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Super League: Grand Final Gold 6.15 Super League: Grand Final Gold 6.30 Super League: Grand Final Gold 6.45 Super League: Grand Final Gold 7.00 Super League 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Cycling - Tirreno Adriatico 10.00 Netball Superleague 12.05pm Football Gold 12.15 Football Gold 12.30 Live Scottish Football League 3.00 WWE: Smackdown 5.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 6.00 ATP Masters Tennis 7.00 LIVE ATP Masters Tennis 10.00 WWE Late Night Superstars 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 3.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 4.00 Cross Country 5.00 Super League

Zoe Thomas

kextraterrestrial Sky1








9.00am Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm WWE: Superstars 1.00 Glee 2.00 Sinbad 3.00 Futurama (x2) 4.00 Modern Family (x6) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A League Of Their Own 9.00 Arrow 10.00 Revolution 11.00 A League Of Their Own (x2) 1.00am Karl Pilkington: The Moaning Of Life 2.00 Miami SWAT

7.00pm Great TV Mistakes 7.30 Doctor Who 8.20 Top Gear: Burma Special 9.20 FILM: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) 10.55 Family Guy (x78) 1.30am Bluestone 42 2.00 Pramface 2.30 Impractical Jokers 3.00 New: Who Needs Ibiza? The Great British Holiday

7.00pm Great Barrier Reef 8.00 Shipwrecks: Britain’s Sunken History 9.00 Salamander (x2). See highights. 10.30 Motown At The BBC 11.30 Smokey Robinson Live In Hyde Park 12.30am ... Sings The Rolling Stones 1.30 The Sky At Night 2.00 Shipwrecks: Britain’s Sunken History

1.00pm The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 2.30 Rizzle Kicks: The Hot Desk 2.40 FILM: Flipper (1996) 4.40 Britain’s Got More Talent 5.40 FILM: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) 7.35 FILM: Batman And Robin (1997) 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.50 Crazy Beaches 11.20 FILM: 40 Days And 40 Nights (2002) 1.15am Dads

9.20am FILM: Rising Damp (1979) 11.25 The Turn Of The Screw 1.25pm FILM: Les Miserables (1978) 3.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.55 Inspector Morse 7.00 Rosemary And Thyme 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Endeavour 11.00 A Touch Of Frost 1.05am Agatha Christie’s Partners In Crime 2.10 Judge Judy

2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 4.00 Rude(ish) Tube (x2) 5.00 2 Broke Girls 5.30 2 Broke Girls 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.00 The Tomorrow People 9.00 FILM: Aliens (1986) 12.10am Rude Tube: Rude Tunes 1.15 The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.35pm Paralympic Winter Games 6.35 Great Canal Journeys 7.40 1066: The Lost Battlefield 8.45 Walking Through History: North Norfolk 9.50 Richard III: The Unseen Story 10.55 Secrets Of The Stonehenge Skeletons 11.55 1066: The Lost Battlefield 1.00am Walking Through History: North Norfolk

11.00am An Elephant Called Slowly (1970) 1.00pm Big Business (1988) 2.55 Dear John (2010) 5.00 Chalet Girl (2011) 7.00 500 Days Of Summer (2009) 9.00 Easy A (2010) 10.50 Silent House (2011) 12.30am Hot Rod (2007) 2.15 Lake Placid (1999) 4.00 Close

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Sunday 16 Countryfile BBC1, 6.45pm Sunday evening wouldn’t be right without a good dose of Matt Baker, Ellie Harrison and the rest of the Countryfile team. Tonight they visit Somerset to meet some of the resourceful locals who’ve rallied troops to create a silage food bank in the aftermath of the February storms.

Harry’s South Pole Heroes ITV1, 8pm The first part of this two-part documentary follows four wounded British soldiers led by Prince Harry as they race 200km to the South Pole. Will intense training in Iceland (including ‘chilling out’ in a giant deep freeze) be enough to secure a win against teams from the US and Commonwealth?

Come Dine With Me Ireland More4, 4.20pm Grab a cuppa, get cosy on the sofa and enjoy five episodes of the nation’s favourite programme about people criticising other people’s cooking. This time we’re in Ireland with five satisfyingly clashing personalities, including glamorous Collette, who serves up a less than appetising semolina pudding.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.25 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Sunday Politics 12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 BBC News 1.15 Bargain Hunt 2.00 Formula 1: The Australian Grand Prix – Highlights 4.00 Deadly On A Mission: Pole To Pole 4.35 Lifeline 4.45 Escape To The Country 5.15 Songs Of Praise 5.50 BBC News 6.05 South East Today 6.15 Blandings Comedy series based on the stories by PG Wodehouse. 6.45 Countryfile See highlights 7.45 The Voice UK The second of the knockout rounds. Each coach can only take three singers through to the live shows; for the rest, this is the end of the competition. 9.00 The Musketeers Historical drama series inspired by the novels of Alexandre Dumas. Fed up with the disruptive rivalry between the Musketeers and the Red Guards, the king calls a contest between them to settle which one is stronger once and for all. D’Artagnan is determined to be chosen to fight so that he can prove himself worthy to be a Musketeer. But first he has to learn to control his impetuous nature and to fight with his head, not his heart. 10.00 BBC News The latest national and international news. 10.15 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England. 10.25 Match Of The Day 2 Mark Chapman presents highlights from Sunday’s Premier League matches 11.25 FILM: Minority Report (2002) Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell and Samantha Morton star in this futuristic science fiction thriller. 1.45am Weatherview 1.50 BBC News


6.00am FILM: I Know Where I’m Going (1947) 7.30 Monty Don’s Italian Gardens 8.30 Countryfile 9.25 Gardeners’ World 9.55 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites – Sunday Edition 11.25 James Martin: Home Comforts 12.10pm Michel Roux’s Service 1.10 Michel Roux’s Service 2.10 FILM: Rear Window (1954) 4.00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 4.30 Collectaholics 5.30 The End Of The Pier Show 6.00 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip The beardy duo take part in projects to restore Britain’s industrial past. Lending a helping hand to the volunteers who are breathing new life into the machines that once made Britain the workshop of the world, it is a fun but also personal journey for the Bikers, whose families were both shaped by the industrial revolution. 7.00 Wild Burma: Nature’s Lost Kingdom On the second leg of their journey, wildlife filmmakers Gordon Buchanan and Justine Evans head deep into the mountains of western Burma where they hope to find the shy sun bear and two of the world’s rarest and most beautiful cats. 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Fast And Fearless: Britain’s Banger Racers Two-part documentary about the testosteronefuelled world of banger racing. An army of veteran champions are tempted out of retirement for the ‘Olly Moran Memorial Race’ and compete alongside the best young drivers around. 10.00 Mock The Week Looks Back At... Britain More themed material from the show’s archives. 10.35 Line Of Duty Police drama series. 11.35 FILM: The Shooting Party (1984) Set shortly before the outbreak of WWI. 1.10am Sign Zone: Countryfile. 3.05 Sign Zone: Silk


6.00am Dino Dan 6.10 Dino Dan 6.25 Matt Hatter Chronicles 6.45 Canimals 6.55 Canimals 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Om Nom Stories 7.15 Om Nom Stories 7.20 Sooty 7.30 Scrambled! 7.35 Almost Naked Animals 7.50 Horrid Henry 8.10 Victorious 8.50 The Aquabats! Super Show! 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Murder, She Wrote 10.25 Dickinson’s Real Deal 11.20 ITV News; Weather 11.30 River Monsters 12.30pm The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 1.35 All Star Family Fortunes 2.20 Agatha Christie’s Marple 4.15 FILM: The Man With The Golden Gun 6.35 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Catchphrase The classic game show which taught viewers to say what they see returns for a new series. Stephen Mulhern is the host as players Paul, Lucy and Thomas compete to guess the familiar phrases hidden in animated clues. One lucky contestant will go through to the Super Catchphrase for the chance to win fifty thousand pounds. 8.00 Harry’s South Pole Heroes See highlights 9.00 Mr Selfridge Harry is more determined than ever to get Selfridges back on track and asks Delphine to organise a special event in store. He also takes a risk by inviting the controversial American journalist Winifred Bonfils Black to the function. Miss Mardle experiences true happiness, but Agnes doubts that she has made the right choice. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 You Saw Them Here First Robert Webb reveals the television debuts of some of Britain’s most popular stars. 11.15 LV= Cup Highlights Highlights from the LV Cup final from Exeter’s Sandy Park 12.15am The Store 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

Channel Five

10.30am Sunday Brunch 1.25pm The Big Bang Theory 1.50 The Simpsons 2.20 The Simpsons 2.50 Deal Or No Deal 3.45 Paralympic Winter Games 5.55 Channel 4 News

6.00-8.15am Children’s Television 8.15 Mio Mao 8.20 Angelina Ballerina 8.35 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.40 Rupert Bear 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 Jelly Jamm 9.30 LazyTown 10.00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10.35 Access 10.45 Police Interceptors 11.05 Ice Road Truckers 11.45 FILM: Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son 1.45pm FILM: Doctor Dolittle 3 (2006) 3.30 FILM: Arthur And The Invisibles (2006) 5.10 FILM: Disney’s The Haunted House (2003)

6.30 The Floods That Foiled New Year: Caught On Camera Documentary examining the wettest British winter since records began with the aid of striking observer footage, eyewitness testimony and expert commentary. Since January, the relentless stream of heavy storms has continued unabated. This programme examines the hard science: what caused the floods, what we can do to help ourselves, and is this the ‘new normal’? 7.30 Live From Space: Lap Of The Planet Live broadcast from the International Space Station and Mission Control in Texas. Astronauts Rick Mastracchio and Koichi Wakata show unique images from space in a two and a half hour special, sharing the stunning views. 10.05 FILM: Terminator Salvation (2009) Starring Christian Bale and Helena Bonham Carter. John Connor battles to save his race but the arrival of a mysterious stranger threatens to tip the balance in favour of the machines. 12.15am FILM: Memento (2000) Complex psychological thriller. Following the brutal murder of his wife, a man struggles to rebuild his life and exact his revenge 2.10 The Good Wife 2.55 One Born Every Minute 3.45 Location, Location, Location 4.40 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 Freesports On 4

6.45 5 News Weekend 6.50 FILM: Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) Comic book action fantasy starring Ron Perlman and Selma Blair. The big red demon with the stone hand returns with his buddies from the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense to save the world when an evil elf breaks an ancient pact and unleashes a robot army to destroy humanity. 9.00 FILM: Killer Elite (2011) Starring Jason Statham and Robert De Niro. Action thriller based on true events. A former SAS agent tries to track down his mentor who has been kidnapped and agrees to a deadly mission to free him. Now retired, the special operative is drawn back into the dangerous world of contract killings. But someone’s after him. 11.10 FILM: On Deadly Ground Steven Seagal and Michael Caine star in this action-packed thriller about an oil rig firefighter. When he learns that the unscrupulous president of Aegis Oil intends to commence drilling on native Inuit land in Alaska, he joins forces with local people to block the plans. 1.15am SuperCasino 3.10 Dangerous Drivers’ School 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.20 Make It Big Series 4.50 Five VOD 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.10 Hana’s Helpline Series 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.30 Five VOD 5.40 Hana’s Helpline 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 Scottish Football League 7.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.00 Game Changers 9.00 Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 7.00 Football’s Greatest Teams 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Spanish Football Gold 12.00am Spanish Football 1.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 Football’s Greatest 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 Super Rugby Extra Time 3.00 Spanish Football 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 Spanish Football Gold 5.00 Spanish Football

Sky Sports 2 6.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 Football’s Greatest 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 1.00pm LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 3.55 LIVE Spanish Football 6.00 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 ICC World T20 Zone 10.00 ICC World T20 Zone 12.00am Ashes Modern Day Classics 1.00 ICC World T20 Zone 3.00 Ashes Modern Day Classics 4.00 ICC World T20 Zone

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Super League: Grand Final Gold 7.00 Super League 8.00 Scottish Football League 8.30 ATP Masters Tennis 9.30 This Week In WWE 10.00 Cross Country 11.00 ATP Masters Tennis 12.00pm Cycling Tirreno Adriatico 1.00 This Week In WWE 1.30 ATP Masters Tennis 2.30 LIVE LV= Cup Final 5.30 ATP Masters Tennis 6.30 WWE: Experience 7.30 Super Rugby Extra Time 8.00 LV= Cup 9.00 LIVE: Live ATP Masters Tennis 11.30 Super Rugby Extra Time 12.00am LV= Cup 1.00 Sporting Greats 1.30 Super Rugby Extra Time 2.00 LV= Cup 3.00 Cross Country 4.00 LV= Cup 5.00 Football Gold

Zoe Thomas

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm Futurama (x2) 2.00 The Monuments Men Special 2.30 Modern Family (x6) 5.30 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Armed & Dangerous: Ultimate Forces (x2) 1.00am Street Crime UK (x6)

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 7.20 FILM: Alice In Wonderland (2010) 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 Family Guy (x2) Guy 10.45 Bluestone 42 11.15 American Dad! (x2) 12.00am Wilfred (x4) 1.30 Bad Education 2.00 Ja’mie: Private School Girl 2.30 Pramface 3.00 Bluestone 42

7.00pm The Golden Age Of Steam Railways 8.00 Oh Do Shut Up Dear! Mary Beard On The Public Voice Of Women 9.00 Timewatch: QE2 - The Final Voyage 10.00 FILM: Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky (2009) 11.50 Britain On Film 12.20am The Byrd Who Flew Alone: The Triumphs And Tragedy Of Gene Clark

2.00pm FILM: Babe: Pig In The City (1998) 3.55 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 5.20 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 7.15 FILM: Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) 9.00 Educating Joey Essex 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.50 Party Wright Around The World 11.50 The Big Reunion 2014 12.50am Mom (x2)

10.45am Inspector Morse 12.50pm Rosemary And Thyme 1.50 FILM: Swallows And Amazons (1974) 3.40 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 4.50 Inspector Morse 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 It’ll Be Alright On The Night’s Best Of The Worst 10.00 Lewis 12.05am FILM: Changeling (2008)

1.35pm Rude(ish) Tube (x2) 2.30 2 Broke Girls (x2) 3.30 The Big Bang Theory 4.00 The Tomorrow People 5.00 Troy 6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 8.00 FILM: Mission: Impossible (1996) 10.15 Rude Tube: Rude Tunes 11.15 My Mad Fat Diary 12.20am The Big Bang Theory

10.00am Selling Houses With Amanda Lamb 11.05 Great Canal Journeys 12.10pm Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 12.40 Shipping Wars (x2) 1.40 Four In A Bed (x5) 4.20 Come Dine With Me Ireland (x5) 7.00 The Taste USA 8.00 Shipping Wars (x2) 9.00 Father Ted (x6) 12.15am Shameless USA 1.20 Nashville

11.00am Bless This House (1972) 1.00pm Charlotte’s Web (2006) 2.50 Carry On Dick (1974) 4.40 The Wedding Planner (2001) 6.45 Mad Money (2008) 9.00 Conviction (2010) 11.05 Sexy Beast (2000) 12.50am Private Fears In Public Places (2006) 3.25 Close



City Of...Caring

An insight into the work of The Martlets Hospice and how it serves everyone in the local community

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Monday 17 Shop Secrets: Tricks Of The Trade Channel 4, 8:30pm Step 1: Hide secret cameras in shops, market stalls and restaurants across the UK. Step 2: Send a team of super sellers to trick unsuspecting customers. The outcome is worrying. This episode reveals a bizarre beauty trick and the dangers of dodgy hair straighteners.

Michael McIntyre Chat Show BBC1, 10:35pm Award winning comedian and advocate of the ‘man draw’ Michael McIntryre is joined by unlikely group of guests, including Jeremy Clarkson, Abbey Clancy and Sir David Jason, who tells us more about the one-off return of Only Fools and Horses (yes!).

Prostitution: What’s The Harm? BBC3, 10pm While most of Britain faces difficult economic times, the prostitution industry is thriving. The internet has made it easier than ever for sex workers and their clients to rendezvous. Billie JD Porter puts frank questions to young men who pay for sex and the women who sell their bodies.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food 11.45 Watchdog Test House 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 5.15 Pointless

6.05am Tom Kerridge’s Proper Pub Food 6.35 Homes Under The Hammer 7.35 Countryside 999 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 The Restaurant Man 10.05 Great British Railway Journeys 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 1.20 War Walks 1.50 British Isles: A Natural History 2.40 Cagney And Lacey 3.25 Bergerac 4.15 Are You Being Served? 4.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. 7.30 Bang Goes The Theory The team demonstrates cutting-edge developments in technology and explains the scientific principles that govern the world. 8.00 EastEnders A guilty Kat is torn about what she should do, but whose advice will she listen to? 8.30 The Great NHS Robbery – Panorama 9.00 Silk When an anxious solicitor turns up on the doorstep of Shoe Lane, Billy knows just who he needs. Dani's nephew is fighting extradition to the US on charges of terrorism, and despite Clive's warnings Martha cannot let the system swallow up a young man without any firm evidence. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show See highlights. 11.20 Late Kick Off Premier League promotion hopefuls QPR are away to Birmingham, play-off contenders Brighton host Reading, Watford travel to relegation-threatened Charlton and struggling Millwall visit Derby. 11.50 Live At The Apollo 12.35am Weatherview

6.00 Revenge Of The Egghead 6.30 Sport Relief’s Top Dog Owners and their dogs go head-to-head in a series of fun challenges. 7.00 Top Gear 8.00 University Challenge The last of the quarter-final matches. 8.30 Mary Berry Cooks Mary cooks her favourite meal - Sunday lunch. The star of the show is slow roast shoulder of lamb with rosemary and paprika rub, served with potato and fennel gratin. 9.00 The Plantagenets Professor Robert Bartlett tells the extraordinary story of England’s most dysfunctional, yet longest ruling, royal dynasty. 10.00 Tony Parsons – The Art Of Boxing Boxing was nearly knocked out in the sixties by a potent combination of peace and love. Now Tony Parsons discovers a new generation of men and women who are realising that boxing has little to do with violence and everything to do with the search for self-knowledge. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Fast And Fearless: Britain’s Banger Racers The testosteronefuelled world of banger racing. 12.20am Sign Zone: The Great Sport Relief Bake Off. 4.00 Acting Around Words. 4.30 Writing For Walford. 5.00 The Life And Times Of Shakespeare 5.30 Play On! 2 Play On! 5.55 Wonders Of Nature: Birds Of Paradise – Display.


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00am Countdown 6.45 Will And Grace 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Coach Trip 12.40 River Cottage Bites 12.50 FILM: Ride The High Country (1962) 2.40 Countdown 3.30 Deal Or No Deal 4.30 Four In A Bed 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain worries Belle may spill the beans when he sees she has been drinking. 7.30 Coronation Street Todd engineers Maria’s worst nightmare. 8.00 I Never Knew That About Britain Interesting facts about Britain. 8.30 Coronation Street Maria’s world falls apart. What is Roy hiding? 9.00 The Widower Three-part drama based on the crimes of convicted murderer Malcolm Webster. When Claire Webster challenges her new husband Malcolm about his wild spending, he responds by sedating her with powerful drugs. As Claire’s suspicions grow, Webster decides to silence her once and for all. Three years on, he has a new bride... and history appears to be repeating itself. 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 The Agenda Tom Bradby is joined by big names from government 11.05 The Secret Mediterranean With Trevor McDonald In this episode he meets the Naples prosecutor responsible for confronting and convicting members of the mafia. 12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot: The Conservative Party Conservative Party Chairman Grant Shapps argues that there is growth in the economy in his Welwyn and Hatfield constituency. 8.00 Food: What’s Really In Your Trolley?: Dispatches Investigating the criminal gangs in the food business, the profits that can be made by substituting fake foods, and how the authorities are struggling to battle the rising tide of food fraud. 8.30 Shop Secrets: Tricks Of The Trade See highlights. 9.00 One Born Every Minute A mum-to-be who has cerebral palsy goes through a dramatic delivery 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr and the gang get together for another comedy panel show about statistics. 10.50 Gogglebox Ever wanted to watch other people watching TV? Here TV fanatics open up their living rooms to reveal their reactions to popular and topical shows. 11.50 Troy Troy is an ordinary-looking 24-year old from south London with some impressive magic tricks. 12.50am Random Acts 12.55 Scandal 1.40 Hostages 2.30 The Good Wife 3.15 One Born Every Minute 4.10 Location, Location, Location 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00-7.10am Children’s TV. 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Police Interceptors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Benidorm ER 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Accidental Witness (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 The Gadget Show Jason and Rachel check out 3D projectors with the aid of Ortis at a 3D go-kart race. 8.00 Police Interceptors Observational documentary series following the high-speed lawenforcement pursuit specialists of Lincolnshire. A routine check on a car uncovers a case of suspected drug dealing, three men are arrested on suspicion of theft and a dog is found abandoned in a ditch. 9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! Documentary series about the plight of people on the sharp end of bad debt - and those whose job it is to get the money back. 10.00 The Big ‘Can’t Pay’ Debt Debate: Live This live debate will explore how much we all owe, how easy it is to get credit, and why so many people end up financially out of control. 11.00 FILM: Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby (2006) Comdey starring Will Ferrell, Sacha Baron Cohen and Amy Adams about a champion NASCAR driver whose cosy position at the top of the championship is threatened. 1.05am SuperCasino 3.10 The Hitchhiker Slayer: Born To Kill? 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Football Gold 10.45 Football Gold 11.00 Spanish Football 12.00pm Scottish Football League 12.30 Football League Gold 12.45 Football League Gold 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.30 Spanish Football 3.30 Scottish Football League 4.00 Fantasy Football Club 4.30 Game Changers 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 FL72 Review 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 FL72 Review 12.00am SPFL Round-Up 12.30 Football League 1.30 Sporting Heroes 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 SPFL RoundUp 4.00 Football League 5.00 Sporting Heroes

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LV= Cup 7.00 ICC World T20 Zone 9.00 LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 1.00pm LIVE ICC World Twenty20 Cricket 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Brian Lara Masterclass 1 7.30 Brian Lara Masterclass 2 8.00 ICC World T20 Zone 10.00 ICC World T20 Zone 12.00am Brian Lara Masterclass 3 12.30 Brian Lara Masterclass 3 1.00 ICC World T20 Zone 3.00 ICC World T20 Zone 5.00 Sporting Greats 5.30 Sporting Greats

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 LV= Cup 9.00 ATP Masters Tennis 10.00 Cycling - Tirreno Adriatico 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Extreme Sports: Snow Unleashed 12.00pm LV= Cup 1.00 ATP Masters Tennis 2.00 Super League 3.00 ATP Masters Tennis 4.00 LV= Cup 5.00 Super League 7.00 Super League Full Time 8.00 ATP Masters Tennis 9.00 Super League Full Time 10.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 WWE From The Vault 4.30 Arm Wars 5.00 SPFL Round-Up 5.30 Arm Wars Zoe Thomas

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12.00pm NCIS: LA (x2) 2.00 Harrow: A Very British School 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x4) 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Moone Boy 9.30 The Simpsons 10.00 Stella 11.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.00am Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Hotel Of Mum And Dad 8.00 Junior Paramedics 9.00 Life And Death Row 10.00 Prostitution: What’s The Harm? 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.05am Life And Death Row 1.05 EastEnders 1.35 Prostitution: What’s The Harm? 2.35 Going Native 3.00 Life And Death Row

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Great British Railway Journeys 8.30 Only Connect Special: Sport Relief 9.00 TB: Return Of The Plague 10.30 Fossil Wonderlands: Nature’s Hidden Treasures 11.30 Classic Albums 12.20am Only Connect Special: Sport Relief 12.50 The Walshes

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Mom (x2) 10.00 FILM: The 40Year-Old Virgin (2005) 12.20am Two And A Half Men (x2)

11.50am The House Of Eliott 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Home To Roost 4.40 Second Thoughts 5.15 The Upper Hand 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Long Lost Family 10.00 Whitechapel 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

3.30pm The Mindy Project 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 Revenge 10.00 My Mad Fat Diary 11.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 12.00am Revenge

12.55pm Celebrity Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 Building The Dream 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 Great Canal Journeys 10.00 One Born: What Happened Next? 11.05 Father Ted (x6) 2.20am Great Canal Journeys

11.00am Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 12.40pm The Gift Horse (1952) 2.40 Gideon Of Scotland Yard (1959) 4.30 Bhowani Junction (1956) 6.40 27 Dresses (2008) 9.00 Predators (2010) 11.10 An Officer And A Gentleman (1982) 1.35am A Life Less Ordinary (1997) 3.45 Close

THE LATEST TV CHANNEL from Brighton with love

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Latest 7: No. 669  

Top class, Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton.