Latest 7: NO. 661

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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk City Of... Caring A look at the work of The Martlets Hospice and how it serves everyone in the local community

★ jobs ★ food ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★

DIGITAL TV FOR BRIGHTON

14 – 20 January 2014

FREE WEEKLY

Cheers!

Coast restaurant in The Lanes toasts a delicious year ahead page 09

HUNT VS LAUDA Win new DVDs based on the historic Formula 1 feud I’M SORRY I HAVEN’T A CLUE The stage tour comes to Brighton Dome

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2014 thelatest.co.uk

@latestbrighton

14–20 JANUARY 2014

www.facebook.com/thelatest7

CONTENTS NEWS & COMMENT

Online now: Local news headlines, competitions and all the listings to what’s on this week Attention musicians! Upload your tracks and let the world listen to your music!

06 Latest Brighton & Hove News The £420m battle over the Royal Sussex 08 Celeb City Julie Graham, Adele, Katie Price and Noel Sullivan

All the latest homes are on latesthomes.co.uk With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website

City of... Business: Brighton Business Curry Club

10 Bare Cheek More rational funnies 11 Kay Town Why Andrew isn’t stressing over turning 58 11 Competitions Hunt Vs Lauda DVDs; Delivery Man goodie bags

The Brighton Business Curry Club is hosted at the Sussex Country Cricket Ground every month

by Nick Harvey (Harvey Marketing Co) and Lisa Reynolds (Let Me Do That For You). An informal, fun and popular networking event with the added bonus of delicious curries. Find out more at www.brightonbusinesscurryclub.co.uk Watch the show now at www.thelatest.tv

For details of advertising opportunities with latesthomes.co.uk please contact the advertising team on 01273 818150 lhsales@thelatest.co.uk

16 @LatestTVBtn

latesthomes.co.uk/brighton

LIFESTYLE 09 On the cover: Coast The Lanes restaurant toasts a delicious year ahead 12 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Mac ‘n’ cheese at Velo Café 13 Hotlist From Indian to Italian: restaurants for all tastes

WHAT’S ON

GIG IN BRIGHTON

Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless Creative Director Andrew Kay

t

Art Director Stephen King Latest Homes Advertising Manager Lesley Lawrence Latest 7 Advertising Manager Rachel Simm

LaVendore Rogue + Goldie Reed + Beth Morris Friday, January 17th, 2014, doors: 7.30pm, £5

18 Brighton After Dark The changing club scene; Sade’s Brighton bucket list

15 What’s On New shows at the Marlborough Theatre, War Paint and I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue: The Official Stage Tour

IN BRIGHTON

The Monroe Gaining momentum along the Sussex coast, The Monroe are a four-piece soul outfit from Brighton/Chichester.

Wednesday, January 15th, 2014, time tbc, £3 Latest Group

PARTY

14 Reviews & Bookings; Latest Brighton Download Chart Flange Krammer, Anchorman 2 and more reviewed

Latest 7/Homes Editor Zara Baker Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Jason Weaver Staff writers Sade Ali Vanessa Austin Locke

Jo Brooks Joe Fuller David Hillier Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller Alastair Reid Latest 7 interns Lily Blackmore Kyle Moon Rhiannon Pulling

Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Latest News

Frank le Duc Jenni Davidson Jay Legate (Sport) Latest news intern Ceirney Eddie

Latest TV Val Aviv David Cuff

Andy Nicholls William Ranieri Yuki Stephenson Latest TV intern Megan Plumstead

Latest MusicBar Ruth Ratner James Charter Stella Pitt Ali Cluney-Hickford Steve Parfrement Latest MusicBar intern Andrew McClean

20 TV Listings Played on 5USA; seven days of TV listings

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: sales@thelatest.co.uk

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

To advertise call 01273 818150

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The Monroe Gaining momentum along the Sussex coast, The Monroe are a four-piece soul outfit from Brighton/Chichester. tbc £3

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Senior PR Account Manager Believe Eve, a boutique PR consultancy (www.believeeve.com), is seeking a Senior PR Account Manager with a wealth of varied consumer and some trade PR experience.

You must have a strong agency background, a flexible yet strategic approach and bundles of enthusiasm. Experience and good media contacts in fashion, particularly watches and accessories, would be absolutely ideal. Believe Eve is looking to grow its client base, so you will be required to proactively seek out new opportunities, initiate and support business expansion. You will be confident, able to work independently and have excellent management skills.

Based in Brighton & Hove (with regular meetings in London), we are offering an initial one year contract to cover maternity leave. We are looking to fill this position asap, so if you would like to apply for this role, please send your CV with a covering letter and current salary to Larissa Trew at larissa@believeeve.com.

Believe Eve’s sister company, an online magazine called Eve’s Watch (www.eveswatch.com), which is the definitive guide to women’s watches, may also require ad hoc support.

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latestPEOPLE

LATEST PEOPLE 05

Ronan Keating, Adapt Barbers, Brighton’s ‘Oscars’, Daisy’s Nail Company & Brighton Fringe Brighton & Hove Arts Council Drama Awards 2013

Adapt Barbers celebrates 10 years!

It wasn't just the festive celebrations held in Brighton last month. Adapt Barbers on Queens Road, Brighton, celebrated 10 years in business with a glittering party held at the barbers, hosted by owner Ross Williams, who has been in the hair industry for 18 years. Entertainment was provided by local magician Max Curd. www.maxcurd.co.uk www.adaptbarbers.co.uk

Max (local magician) and Ross Williams

Brighton & Hove Arts Council held its annual drama awards ceremony at BHASVIC, on the evening of Tuesday 10 December. Brighton & Hove’s own ‘Oscars’ recognise the achievements of amateur theatre companies in the area. Local groups taking part this year included New Venture Theatre Club, Brighton, The Southwick Players, Wick Theatre Company and Burgess Hill Theatre Club.

Brighton Little Theatre, winners of the Bea Waters Challenge Cup for Best Overall Production. Left to right: Caroline Lambe, Claire Lewis, Ellie Mason and Myles Locke.

DNC’s fundraiser for the NSPCC Daisy’s Nail Company (DNC) in Preston Street, Brighton, held a special charity fundraiser in aid of the NSPCC on 19th December 2013.

Latest 7 attended the party where guests donated to the NSPCC and received a luxury OPI manicure.

Brighton Makeup School’s director Hayley Pinker was also on hand to provide pre-Christmas makeovers.

With a Mini-Mani for just £7, DNC offers great value. Plus there’s 15% off for all new customers. www.daisysnailcompany.co.uk

Latest 7's Victoria Nangle, Rhiannon Pulling and Zara Baker with DNC staff and BMU director Hayley Pinker

Leon (Adapt manager) and Ross (Adapt owner)

Ronan Keating backs council service for people with disabilities Boyzone’s Ronan Keating gave a rave review for some specially commissioned embroidery work done for him by AbleandWilling, a supported business for people with disabilities run by Brighton & Hove City Council.

Ronan Keating was visiting Brighton for a Boyzone reunion

concert at the Brighton Centre on 18th December when he decided he wanted to give the rest of the band sweaters with their names embroidered on them for Christmas.

Ronan called AbleandWilling, which employs people with a variety of disabilities and specialises in embroidery, printing and providing garments for a wide range of businesses and organisations.

AbleandWilling’s business manager, Jeff White, said: “Ronan’s order and visit was a lovely surprise.

He couldn’t have been nicer.” www.ableandwilling.org.uk

OPI manicures at DNC

Daisy (owner)

Brighton Fringe announces new partner in Gemini Print Gemini Print danced through the city with Brighton Fringe stalwarts, The Ragroof Players, to announce its partnership with this year’s Festival.

As the key supplier of official Brighton Fringe printed materials, Mark Tulley, of Gemini Group, said that he was really delighted to be supporting the festival.

“Brighton Fringe is without doubt one of the highlights in the City’s calendar,” he said.

Gemini Print is providing discounts to all Brighton Fringe participants and venues.

For more information visit: www.gemini-print.co.uk www.brightonfringe.org Picture by Jim Holden

Marion Duggan and Matthew Blacklock (dancers from The Ragroof Players) with Mark Tulley (director, Gemini Group)

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06 LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news

£420m battle over hospital Conservative and Labour politicians are at odds over funding for the long-awaited modernisation of the Royal Sussex County Hospital. Frank le Duc reports

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he Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton is becoming a political battleground. Labour and Conservative rivals are slugging it out over a long-awaited modernisation of the Eastern Road site. And when the £420 million funding is approved – a senior government minister has stated that it’s a case of when, not if – then both sides are likely to claim victory.

In the meantime the Royal Sussex is at the heart of the Battle of Brighton Kemptown. Simon Kirby, the former Brighton and East Sussex Conservative councillor who won the marginal seat in 2010, has gone on the offensive. Last week he accused his main rival of misleading voters over the funding required to modernise the Royal Sussex. He said that a letter from Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt disproved claims made

by Labour’s parliamentary candidate Nancy Platts.

Ms Platts said on Twitter in November: “@SimonKirbyMP luckily the last #Labour Govt put £420m aside for a new hospital in #Brighton.”

This was not the case, said Mr Kirby, who has not forgotten the note left by Labour’s outgoing Chief Secretary to

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on a greater Brighton

O

ur city’s successes in 2013 are something to celebrate, but we cannot take for granted the context within which they come. These years were always going to be challenging for local councils.

With an ageing population and a baby boom, we have more demand for our 800 council services than before. This alone costs an additional £10-15m per year. Yet we also have a government not just failing to help us with that growing demand – but instead cutting our

the Treasury Liam Byrne. It said: “I’m afraid there is no money. Kind regards – and good luck!”

He was also riled by a letter posted by Ms Platts on her website from Labour Party member Nicky Easton which said: “Plans to build the new hospital at the Royal Sussex County have been in place long before the current government, with a business case for the hospital previously been approved under Labour in 2009.

“Provisional approval had been made by the last government subject to a number of conditions being fulfilled, not least planning consent, which was subsequently granted by the council unanimously in January 2012. The major issues that needed to be addressed for the hospital plan to get a green light have now been resolved.

“However, the project has stalled with the Department of Health and Treasury ever since, and final approval is being put at risk because the trust is being asked to make £30 million cuts each year for the next three years.

“Given that most of the work took place before the Conservative-led

funding and making the situation worse.

Unfortunately the austerity consensus supported by both Tories and the Labour Party in Westminster means that this situation is unlikely to change soon.

So what does 2014 hold for Brighton & Hove? Looking ahead, the biggest challenge is the council’s annual budget process for the 2014/15 financial year and preparations for 2015/16. There are no easy choices left for councils.

But we are committed to doing the best we can for the city with whatever spending pot is left to us by the Government.

Nancy Platts, Labour’s parliamentary candidate for Brighton Kemptown and Peacehaven

coalition was in power and Simon Kirby was MP, and scant progress has been made since, where has Simon Kirby been for the past three years to help make this vital new hospital happen? The fact that, 18 months before the next general election, Mr Kirby has belatedly begun to campaign for the hospital project to get off the ground looks exactly like the playing of party politics with the NHS that he has publicly bemoaned.”

the big issue

WEAK SPOT Mr Kirby has lobbied Mr Hunt about the project and last year presented a petition to him from constituents. He also brought Cabinet Office Minister Oliver Letwin to see the hospital’s Victorian buildings for himself. It was Mr Letwin who said that the

question over funding was one of when not if. And Mr Kirby has raised the matter at Prime Minister’s Questions in the House of Commons.

But Mr Kirby is sensitive to Labour’s accusations – as are ministers. And his Labour opponents still regard the NHS as a potential weak spot for the Tories, particularly in the Kemptown constituency. So it should be no surprise that Mr Kirby received a supportive letter from the Health Secretary shortly after Christmas.

Mr Hunt said that the strategic outline case for redevelopment, needed before redevelopment could go ahead and agreed in 2008, “did not authorise any expenditure

This year I hope to sign the ‘Greater Brighton City Deal’ with government, which will get our area more economic powers and funding. Clearly our residents’ lives don’t stop at municipal borders – so it’s important that we work with our neighbours to make progress together.

We’ll be completing the rollout of communal recycling and pay by phone parking in the city. We have major work to do on our seafront, balancing our local economy

whilst finding the £100m cost of maintaining the rapidly ageing structures holding up the promenade.

Many challenges and opportunities lie ahead. We pledge to keep supporting people in need, and helping local businesses and charities while delivering services.

Brighton & Hove has entered 2014 in a strong position, with a creative energy ready to surprise and impress as we continue to attract visitors from far and wide.

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LATEST NEWS the hospital staff get the 21st century hospital they deserve. The Labour candidate would be better served by supporting my campaign rather than trying to score cheap political points at the expense of local people.”

Ms Platts said: “Accusations like this detract from the real issue.

People in Brighton want to know when the hospital will be built.

Everyone knows that Labour was behind this scheme and got the ball rolling. Now we need a commitment from Tory/Lib Dem government that it’s going to happen. Last week it was reported that the Royal Sussex was on red alert. Tory MP Simon Kirby needs to start asking his ministers why local people are not getting the investment that is so desperately needed in their local NHS.”

“My campaign will continue until my constituents and hospital staff get the 21st century hospital they deserve” on construction works on site and did not require approval by the government... I can confirm categorically that development of the regional centre for teaching, trauma and tertiary care at the RSCH was not approved by the previous government and it is not the case that this government has withheld the release of funds for its construction.”

Mr Kirby said: “Nancy Platts owes the whole Brighton Kemptown constituency an abject apology.

Labour had 13 years to redevelop the Sussex County and failed to do so.

Nancy has misled local people when she says the last Labour Government ‘put aside’ the money needed. This is clearly not the case.

“Nancy would do better if she spent more time learning local facts rather than issuing misleading statements and attending demonstrations at the hospital where effigies of dedicated hospital staff are being paraded. That she would issue such a completely misleading statement on a matter of such importance brings into doubt her credibility as a parliamentary candidate for Labour.

“My campaign engaging local people, hard-working hospital staff, and members of the government, including the Prime Minister, will continue until my constituents and

SEASONED CAMPAIGNER Ms Platts is a seasoned campaigner – and no newcomer to Brighton. She ran Green MP Caroline Lucas a close second in Brighton Pavilion at the last general election. She may modify the content, but the basic message looks unlikely to change.

The spat follows a similar exchange two months ago when Warren Morgan, leader of the Labour group on Brighton and Hove City Council, weighed in. He accused Mr Kirby of doing little to secure the money needed to modernise the Royal Sussex. And he said that Mr Kirby had started campaigning only when the delayed decision about funding was about to be made.

Mr Kirby said that Councillor Morgan’s criticisms were inaccurate and added: “Labour Party members’ attacking comments on Twitter and elsewhere about my campaign to have a new hospital for Brighton are simply sour grapes. Any reasonable person will know that I have been

consistently campaigning for the money Labour failed to release to come to Brighton to build a new hospital for everyone’s benefit.”

Councillor Morgan, who represents East Brighton ward on the council, said: “Our local MP has not attended any of the public meetings about the hospital, which I chair as the local councillor, for three years. He has asked no questions in the House of Commons to either the current Secretary of State for Health or his predecessor... We need a modern NHS hospital in the city. Why has the government dragged its feet for so long? And why has Mr Kirby done nothing about it till now?”

Mr Kirby said that he had attended meetings of the Hospital Liaison Group before he was elected to Parliament. But now he had to attend sittings of the House of Commons on Mondays which was when the liaison group met. Apart from presenting a petition from constituents to the Health Secretary, Mr Kirby said that he had pressed David Cameron on the subject at Prime Minister’s Questions.

And he met the Chancellor last year and had liaised with hospital staff including the chief executive.

He added: “My hospital campaign is about bringing the community together to make a strong case to the government for funding to be released. It is a shame Labour cannot get behind the campaign as I think something which is so important to the city should be above party politics.

“However, to accuse this government of dragging its feet is bizarre when Labour had 13 years to give Brighton the hospital it deserves.

As the Prime Minister has said to me: ‘I know that this is a matter close to your heart and that you have put a great deal of work into representing the views of your constituents.’”

Simon Kirby

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008_LS661_celebcity_Celebcity 09/01/2014 10:49 Page 1

08 CELEBCITY

SPONSORED BY

THERE’S NO STOPPING ADELE

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

It’s been a ‘stormy’ time for Brighton based singer Adele recently, with her beachside property on Millionaire’s Row being battered by 10ft waves over Christmas! Adele, alongside her celebrity neighbours including David Walliams, Nick Berry, Heather Mills, Zoe Ball and Fatboy Slim, saw her home under threat from some of the strongest gales we’ve seen for years.

Overall, however, 2013 was quite a good year for the singer. Last February she collected an Oscar for her brilliant Bond theme ‘Skyfall’, performing to a rapturous audience at Hollywood's biggest night. She followed that up with her NINTH (count ‘em) Grammy for Best Pop Solo Performance for ‘Set Fire To The Rain’, and, to top it all, the 25-year-old multiple platinum selling artist has just been awarded an MBE. Collecting her award from Prince Charles at Buckingham Palace, the singer looked just gorgeous in a midnight blue Stella McCartney prom dress worth £945. Rarely seen in public, Miss Adele Adkins MBE declined to speak to the press after collecting her award. How amazing would it be to have Adele perform to her adopted home crowd at Brighton Pride 2014? Adele, if you're reading this, stick Saturday 2 August in your diary for the UK’s biggest and best Pride event!

TV’s Julie Graham, Noel Sullivan on stage, Katie Price in hospital & Adele weathers the storm

D SPtteOdT: HTeEar’Sayan

Spo Noel Sulliv he singerg to fans in ter was talkin e. The singRoyal ain re North rLing in Theatistmas star hton’s Chr e: Brig rformanc of pe , Queen PriscilelaDesert. th

THE BLETCHLEY CIRCLE SERIES 2 © ITV Pictures

BREAKING BOUNDARIES

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ocal actress Julie Graham is back on our screens with ITVs popular codebreaker show, The Bletchley Circle. The second series of the drama sees Graham as one of five former Bletchley Park codebreakers who now continue to solve crimes after the end of World War II. Talking to The Radio Times recently, Julie insisted that The Bletchley Circle was “breaking boundaries” by pioneering female leads, and that it was “about bloody time”. We certainly concur Ms Graham, long may it last!

Sounds like it’s been a bad start to the year for Katie Price, as the glamour model has spent time in hospital over the festive season for a mystery illness. The 35-year-old local celeb posted a shocking selfie on Twitter recently, documenting her drastic weightloss following three admissions into hospital. Katie celebrates her first wedding anniversary to husband Kieran Hayler this month and gave birth to their first child Jett back in August. Get well soon, Katie.

© imagenet

HAPPY NEW YEAR?

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

Follow me: latestcelebcity

Eat out for £5 (Plus 10% service) for 2 courses.

Just present this voucher when you arrive for the £5 menu Valid at Donatello and Pinocchio Valid Monday-Friday until 12th February 2014 One voucher per table.

Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer.

009_LS661_coast_011_LS466_interview 10/01/2014 13:11 Page 3

COAST

A TOAST from COAST

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Coast restaurant in The Lanes has unveiled a new menu & great offers for 2014. Andrew Kay finds out more t’s a bright day before the end of 2013 when I enter Coast in East Street and there is an air of excitement. Closed for the day, there is a meeting taking place and a buzz in the air. This is a time of change for Coast and the new team are meeting to settle on the changes that are being made for a relaunch and a revamp, everything from the menu and wine list to the general style.

Eve Banks, Mirek Grzadziela and chef Lukas Trzebiatowski are sat around a table surrounded by papers filled with ideas for the new menu.

Eve and Mirek have been brought in to make the changes and run Coast, while Lukas will be in the kitchen putting the new menu in place.

So what is at the core of the changes diners will see this year at the popular East Street restaurant?

Eve, a seasoned restaurant manager with many years experience explains: “The new Coast offers great grilled food, steaks, burgers, ribs and chicken as well as a menu of nonmeat dishes and classics. We have retained dishes from the old menu, the ones that we know people love and will expect to find, but there are plenty of exciting new ideas on our menu. Mirek and I have worked together in steak restaurants and have a great knowledge of how a grill restaurant works best, and what people like too.”

“Right now, people like value for money,” adds Mirek. “With the public being more careful about how they

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spend, we offer great value and of possible buy locally. The public course transparency. Too many expect that and we hope to be able menus disguise the fact that all side to deliver it. We also have seasonal dishes are extras. We ensure that specials that change on a regular what you pay for is a complete meal, basis and daily specials too, but there are great sides to order as reflecting the exciting things that we extras too!” find along the way. What we serve So the new broom is sweeping will be made in our own kitchen – away the tired old dishes and there will certainly be no bought in introducing a selection of classic sauces or frozen products on the grill dishes. “We menu, again offer great meats something that sourced with care “The new Coast the discerning and cooked well,” diner expects says Lukas. “It’s in a quality menu offers great important for me restaurant.” grilled food, steaks, that we buy the Coast is very best that we situated in a burgers, ribs and can and where lovely old building

chicken, as well as vegetarian dishes”

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in The Lanes, a small venue that seats around 36 but with double that capacity on the square outside that can be very busy in the warm weather. Mirek is excited about making the most of that space.

“We are currently having new branded barriers made that will clearly define and identify Coast’s al fresco space and bring it together with the interior. Our staff wear a simple but smart and stylish new uniform so that diners can be certain who is serving them when they choose to eat outside, and here in Brighton many people like to sit outside and enjoy a drink or a coffee with a snack all year round.

“Inside we will be emphasising the cosy intimacy of the space. Coast has never been mean with space, but we want to make it feel cosier, especially in the winter months.”

So how does Coast fare pricewise? “Our menu offers starters from £4.95 to £7, mains from £8.95 and desserts from £4.95,” says Eve. “We have a new lunchtime offer for busy people who need to eat well but have little time. A guaranteed delivery time is part of that offer but also a very competitive price of just £7.95 which includes a drink.”

Coast runs buy one get one half price promotions on food and all-you -can-eat ribs on selected days. Visit their website to keep up to date with current offers “Alongside our great meats, quality burgers and our unique spiced rub for meat, we also cater for vegetarians,” adds Mirek.

“And don’t forget our unique slow roasted ribs with three glazes: sweet and spicy Alabama, Jack Daniels and cranberry and cola!” adds Lukas.

“The meat simply falls off the bone.”

Kids are well catered for too with a selection of classics and also the offer of smaller portions from the main menu on dishes where possible. Coast is the perfect venue for parties too with its central location and great atmosphere. Plus, if it’s your birthday you eat for free if you’re dining with three or more guests!

They are now taking bookings for Valentine’s Day too. I leave them to their plans, and their excitement.

The changes being made should re-affirm Coast as a great local restaurant and we wish them a bright new future.

Coast, 28 East Street, The Lanes , Brighton, BN1 1HL 01273 723256 www.coastbrighton.co.uk Love the cover? Have your very own Coast screensaver. Email Sayhi@coastbrighton.co.uk

ONLY JOKING

Bare Cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Brighton bus names explained Perry Mason (No. 106) – In a 1959 episode of his eponymous TV show, ‘The Case Of The Dizzy Debutante’, the fictional attorney defended a character called Jim Brighton.

Akira Kurosawa (No. 19A) – The acclaimed Japanese director of ‘The Seven Samurai’ and ‘Rashomon’ was chairman of Brighton and Hove Football Club between 1979 and 1982.

The Reynolds Girls (No. 83) – The 1989 I’d Rather Jack one-hitwonders recorded a never-released follow-up single in 1990; a cover

Alain de Botton (No. 10B) – The bald pop philosopher and writer gives, in his 2006 book The Architecture Of Happiness, an acrostic suggesting the path to a rich and fulfilling life which spells P.O.R.T.S.L.A.D.E. Porkpie (No. 55) – The lovably shiftless Desmond’s character trademark hat was purchased from D & K Rosen in 1987.

Oliver Tobias (No. 21E) – The actor’s body double, in racy 1978 Jackie Collins adaptation ‘The Stud’, was former Brighton and Hove councillor Nimrod Ping.

Follow me: @MitchellnNixon

In & Out In

• Goose grass • Saying “cobblers!”

• Del Amitri • The Good Old Days • Snakes on a Plane

Out

• Chewing nuts • Sudoku • Double entry bookkeeping • Flubber

CORNER

version of Brighton-born Chesney Allen’s ‘Underneath The Arches’.

Gene Autry (No. 88) – The cowboy film star’s saddlebags were made by Geo. Stubbs and Co.

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We explain the connections to Brighton of those names emblazoned on the front of local buses…

Leatherworkers of Hove between 1950 and 1951.

LOGICAL JOKE

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010_LS661_barecheek_Social Diary 10/01/2014 10:58 Page 2

Get ready to hold your sides for yet more rational funnies!

Q: Why did the mushroom go to the party?

A: Because he had been invited, and had nothing on that night.

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A: A disabled sheep.

Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?

A: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

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011_LS661_kay_comps_Social Diary 10/01/2014 10:40 Page 3

BRIGHTON WRITES

Andrew Kay

It’s an age thing W

ith only a few weeks to go now before my 58th birthday I can’t help pondering how I managed to get to be so old.

I mean all the signs are there, the white hair and ever increasing lack of said white hair; the aching bones and irritating gout; the spreading waist then panic induced shrinking waist... yes, I should have seen it coming, really I should.

I’ve often said that Brighton is the city that dismissed the notion of middle age. It seemed like a romantic ideal at first but the reality is this, skip middle age and there’s no denying when old age hits you full in the face like a runaway train.

Okay, so I’ve not reached old age quite yet, but when you see the impact of what age can do to a body, mind and, dare I suggest it, soul – well it makes you start thinking that middle age might not be such a bad thing.

Perhaps we should start to reinvent middle age, repackage it in a more attractive format, one that doesn’t stink of suede fronted cardigans, corduroy jackets with leather

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elbow patches and comfortable shoes – but where do you start?

When I was a very young art foundation student my life drawing tutor Patrick always said that when he was drawing women he always teed off with a nipple, and with men he kicked off with a ball. How I loved Patrick’s words of wisdom. Now when I begin work on a project I usually start with the name. Once I’ve come up with the name things usually start to fall into place, I find it clarifies my thoughts having a name at the start, even if I later change it.

So let’s re-name middle age. How about the age of achievement?

The age of refinement? The age of comfort, oh no, we’re back to slip on shoes there. The age of happiness?

I’m not sure we all got to that one.

How about the age of diminishing facility? Oh no, that’s far too bleak.

The age of diminished responsibility?

More accurate maybe but not very attractive.

No, none of them will do at all. And in saying that maybe I have stumbled on the truth, this is the age of denial.

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I am in denial about so many things that it has to be right. I’m in denial about how I look, how I feel, what I can afford, what I should be able to afford, what I can achieve, how late I can stay up, how early I can get back up, how much I can eat and how much I can drink and how quickly I can recover from both of the last two.

The one thing that I am not in denial about is what I have to give. Okay, I may be getting a bit cocky, but when it comes to the things in life that I love I can still deliver. I love my family and my friends and I can still go on doing that unimpaired by ageing. I love my work and, let’s face it, working with people in the food industry and the theatre world is more often than not a delight. I love working for Latest Media and in particular for Latest TV which is stretching my

“All the signs are there, the white hair and ever increasing lack of said white hair; the aching bones and irritating gout... yes, I should have seen it coming” creativity in new and very exciting ways daily.

In fact, when I look at all this I feel like I have been given a new lease of life, I am rejuvenated by the challenge of all that is put before me. So maybe that is it, you turn a point in your life and everything after that is the age of challenge. The challenge of new demands spurring me on to stay young, if only in heart.

“Fairy tales, can come true, it can happen to you – if you’re young at heart” sang Frank Sinatra – “For it's hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind – If you're young at heart”.

How I love a good lyric!

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WIN ‘DELIVERY MAN’ FILM GOODIE BAGS

Vince Vaughn stars as perennial underachiever David Wozniak, who discovers that he’s the father of 533 children through sperm donations he made 20 years earlier. To make matters worse, 142 of his offspring have filed a lawsuit demanding to know the identity of their biological father. Chris Pratt (who plays the hilarious Andy Dwyer in TV show Parks And Recreation) also stars as Brett, who helps David decide whether or not he should reveal his true identity to his children.

To celebrate the release of Delivery Man (out in cinemas now) we are giving five lucky readers the chance to win goodie bags. These include a 2014 family calendar, a set of four mugs, a fridge magnet picture frame and an apron, so there’s lots of fun things to brighten up your home!

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If you were fortunate enough to catch Ron Howard’s thrilling film Rush last year, then you’ll already know about the rivalry between Formula 1 drivers Niki Lauda and James Hunt. You can

find out more about the exciting drama by watching this documentary, originally aired on BBC4, which is told through unseen footage and exclusive interviews.

It’s a truly fascinating story of a fierce rivalry between two markedly different racers, and would be a great watch for any fans of similarly powerful documentaries such as Grizzly Man or Searching For Sugarman. We are giving away five copies of the DVD and it’s out to buy on Monday 27 January.

For your chance to win just tell us: Who directed last year’s film Rush, which also told the story of Hunt vs Lauda?

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with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 27 January 2014.

012_LS661_food__food 08/01/2014 12:10 Page 1

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay pretends to be a cyclist and slips into Velo for an excellent lunch

On yer bike

was a decent distance from the family with the wandering child. Sadly she banged her head whilst trying to run into the kitchen, a lesson well learnt I hope.

After a decent length of time, not too long to be a practical lunch option, but long enough to know that it was not a microwave job, a charming member of staff actually brought my food over explaining that it was quiet enough for them to do that.

And there it was, a sizzling macaroni cheese topped with crisp breadcrumbs and a well cooked tomato half in a nice white enamel dish edged in cobalt blue.

I couldn’t wait to tuck in, which is how I managed to singe my lips. Volcanically hot macaroni should be handled with care, and maybe like a fast food apple pie it should carry a warning. I left it a while and turned to my salad.

These days salads can either be too exotic or too small, a recent salad served to me was only marginally larger than your average garnish. This Velo salad was no such thing, a large enamel plate, again edged in blue, was piled with an assortment of fresh leaves and laced with ribbons of carrot and radish. The whole had been properly dressed and tossed in a simple but well made vinaigrette before being heaped onto my plate. It was huge, enough for two perhaps but a very welcome accompaniment to my steaming dish of macaroni.

After a few minutes I was able to tuck in and how please I was to do so.

The macaroni, not pasta shapes of anything else, was perfectly cooked.

To hell with al dente I say, especially when it comes to a macaroni cheese.

That said it was still holding its shape.

The sauce was incredible, rich and creamy and mined with explosions of sharp Gorgonzola and stringy seams of Gruyere. It was the most deliciously comforting plate of food I have been served in some time. It was generous too, really generous for something priced at £6.95 and the garden salad at £2.50 was unbeatable good value.

I wanted to try the home baked scones and the delicious looking cakes but I ran out of both time and belly space. Next time I will try to choose something else, but it will be tough. Maybe If I go early enough I will be drawn to one of their breakfasts but I suspect that it will be macaroni all the way for me from now on. Any hope of me ever getting back on a bike will soon be lost as I develop into a rather more rotund pasta-filled Michelin man lookee-likee!

A quick look at their website reveals that: “The new single-storey café has high sustainability credentials including a green wildlife-friendly roof, solar thermal and PV panels, air source heating and a rainwater harvesting system.” Well what more could we ask for in greener than green Brighton?

Velo Café, Rose Walk, The Level, Brighton, BN1 4ZN, Twitter @TheVeloCafe

I

t may seem hard to believe but I come from a long line of keen cyclists.

My grandparents belonged to old fashioned cycling clubs and in turn so did both my parents. In fact, that is how they met, and I have the photos to prove it as well as a folder of rather amazing receipts. My mother, when she was 18 back in 1950, bought a Holdsworth cycle frame, just the frame and it cost a remarkable 20 guineas, now in new money that’s one hell of a sum of money. On top of that she had to buy the wheels, pedals, gears, brakes saddle and everything else, and then put it all together, which she did herself!

It proved to be great value as I rode it all my teenage years and it is still on the road and used by my nephew to this day; quality pays, that’s for sure.

Quality is a great attribute and confirms my thoughts on what is good value and what is not. I will often say that a great dish at £15 is far better value than a bad one at £8, but we all make our own rules about value.

Just before the festivities I finally made it down to the very smart new Velo Café on the newly developed Level. What a delight it is. Part café, part bicycle repair surgery, hence my nostalgic pre-amble, it certainly put a huge smile on my face when I popped in.

The menu is fairly simple, there are pastries and cakes, hot and cold drinks, some rather exciting sandwiches too, platters and the like and a cream tea option – but the stars have to be the range of mac and cheese dishes. Now I’m not fond of the Americanism mac and cheese. I don’t see why we need to adopt these odd terms when macaroni cheese serves the purpose well enough. But I do see that from a marketing point of view, climbing onboard a trend is perhaps a good idea.

There are six varieties to choose from, from a classic to a Matador which includes chorizo. That sounded good but I was drawn to one with four cheeses, in particular because it included, Sussex cheddar, Gruyere, Gorgonzola and Pecorino. Now that’s a mighty combination of fromage by any standard. I also asked for a salad to go with it and a sparkling mineral water. In return for my pennies I was handed an odd looking device which I was told would buzz when my lunch was ready to collect. I took my water and found a table to sit at that

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Yes to mac and cheese? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

013_LS661_hotlist_Hotlist 09/01/2014 11:51 Page 3

HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist British & Modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele.

Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

Fully licensed.

Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

Coast

Coast is the all new steak and grill house located in the very heart of The Lanes.

Offering 21-day aged seasoned steaks, the best ribs in Brighton, gourmet burgers and roast chicken – Coast is fast becoming known as the best grill in town. They offer great value lunches for £7.95 including a drink, a twocourse set menu from 12pm–7pm Monday to Friday for £9.95, and other great evening promotions. If it’s your birthday you can eat for free! Highly recommended.

Coast, 28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL, 01273 723256, www.coastbrighton.co.uk

The Townhouse

At Kemp Town's favourite restaurant their chefs lovingly create delicious menus using the finest locally sourced produce. They take huge pride in delivering quality food with a warm and friendly welcome. The Townhouse has an amazing location overlooking New Steine and the buzzing St. James Street. You can relax in their bar with your favourite cocktail while listening to live music. Join them for Kemp Town’s best breakfast every Saturday and Sunday 9am–12pm, lunch from 12pm everyday, and dinner from 6pm. They offer amazing value set menus, lunch (2 course £11.95) and evening (2 courses £14.95), Monday–Thursday, and the best roast in town on Sundays from £9.95.

01273 693216 81-82 St James Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1PA www.thetownhousekemptown.co.uk

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the

The Chilli Pickle

chutneys, plus superb ice creams.

The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at http://thechillipicklecanteen.com 01273 900384

Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton, 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

Indian

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Indian Summer

Indian Summer has been pioneering authentic regional food from the sub continent for over a decade. The Brighton favourite is listed in the ‘Top 100’ restaurants in the UK by the Cobra Good Curry Guide 2013 and recently awarded Trip Advisor Certificate of Excellence. The new lunch summer offering is completed with a selection of thalis and new tandoori roasts on Sundays.

Indian Summer, 69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 711001, www.indian-summer.org.uk

Nooris

Chaula’s Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Nooris Indian restaurant in central Brighton has been newly refurbished and offers a fantastic setting for lunch or dinner. The menu features a great selection of meat and vegetables. A two-course lunch or early dinner is available for just £6.95, and their Sunday buffet is just £5.50 – available 12pm–5pm.

Try their delicious homemade fish or chicken thali; you won’t be disappointed!

Nooris, 70/71 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 329405, www.noorisbrighton.co.uk

Chaula’s Brighton

Italian

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting.

Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable.

Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99.

Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere.

The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards.

The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton 01273 900 383, www.thechillipickle.com

The Chilli Pickle Canteen

The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially-commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches: with regional curries, homemade pickles and

The Townhouse

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Thai Street Thai

Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of

eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with twocourses at £8.95 and three-courses at £10.95.

Street Thai, 01273 207444, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton BN1 1HD

Up to 50% off your food bill Table Pouncer

Table Pouncer has teamed up with Latest 7 to offer diners up to 50% off their food bill. Register for free and take advantage of great savings. Participating restaurants change all the time, so check back and see whether your favourite is there. From Italian and Chinese to seafood and more, eating out has just got a lot more affordable. http://thelatest.co.uk/tablepouncer/

014_017_LS661_previews_editorial 09/01/2014 15:51 Page 2

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WHAT’S ON MUSIC CHART, REVIEWS&BOOKINGS

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

8

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20

Black Rooster Black Shag are on a roll this week, dominating the top spots!

To get your favourite to number one listen online.

1 Black Rooster Black Shag Run Baby 2 Black Rooster Shag Amsterdam 3 Mirika Legs 4 Africa 4 The Black Fields The Fighter

L7 what’s on Bookings BIG DADDY VS GIANT HAYSTACKS Ropetackle Centre, 25 January 2014, £12.50, 01273 464440, www.ropetacklecentre.co.uk Ropetackle hosts a hilarious evening of award-winning knockout comedy. A comedy drama about British wrestling. Written by Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon.

THE BOXER REBELLION

Coalition, 4 February 2014, £38.08/12.50, www.theboxerrebellion.com London-based indie-rock quartet The Boxer Rebellion are pleased to announce their headline UK and EIRE tour dates. You can buy: Ticket with T-shirt + Handwritten Lyric Sheet. Or ticket(s) alone. These are e-tickets – your name will be on the guest list at the venue.

THE PRESIDENTS OF THE USA

5 DIRTY WEEKEND in Brighton FRANKIE 6 The Long Goodbye Changing The Guard 7 Running Dogs Rumpunch 8 The Cocktail Party Obituary Writers

Concorde 2, 23 February, £18.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk The Presidents of The United States of America (also known as PUSA)– a refreshing antidote to the grungy angst, consisting of short and humorous punk-rock songs, which prove popular with critics and audiences alike.

RUMOURS OF FLEETWOOD MAC

9 The Fooley Mantras Our Time 10 Boy Hudson The Groove ft Ceezlin (Produced by Glitch) 11 The Fooley Mantras Best in People 12 Harper Ash China Girl 13 Thunk Micromophone 14 Moranimal Strung Out 15 DJ H Brighton Life 16 N-D-E Incredible Machine 17 Chaos Borne The Moment 18 Vortex Generator Regenerate 19 The Adam Kidd Band Into The Night

Concorde 2, 23 March, £22.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Rumours of Fleetwood Mac are the ultimate Fleetwood Mac tribute experience who have even received Mick Fleetwood's seal of approval.

SARAH MILLICAN – HOMEBIRD

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 25–27 April 2014, £26, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org The British Comedy Award’s Queen of Comedy Sarah Millican is giving up the party scene (Ann Summers), easing off on the drinking (fizzy pop equals wealthy dentists) and is settling down (taking her bra off). Extra date added due to popular demand.

Under review

NUMBER ONE

3, 2, 1 WITH FLANGE KRAMMER The Old Market, 8 Janaury 2014 ✪✪✪✪

A

multimedia comedy night which this month served up film clips, musical extracts and homemade planes on sticks took its leap offering a stage to the less than conventional comics on the circuit, embracing the bizarre aggression and a satire of old school nostalgia pastiche in Chapsom Bear, along with the whimsy and hand-collaged mermaids of Phil Lucas.

In fact, the evening was overly packed at times – with the first half around an hour long hosted by skiing playboy character Flange Krammer with his own twist on ‘80s gameshow TV favourites with three ladies from the audience as contestants, a ten minute break, and then another hour consisting of three acts. In a warm Colin Hoult distracted room, by the end everyone was exhausted.

Phil Lucas enchanted with his seafood upholstered mitten and tightly choreographed multimedia, with the tech counterposed nicely by his refusal to use a microphone. Mr Susie was in turn sweetly charming and freakily unnerving as an alien, mining a lovely vein of comedy in words we should have but don’t. And headline act Colin Hoult was as ever a delight, sparking off the audience in character as raconteur actress Anna Man. The evening functions, on the whole, by lifting the whole audience to a state of near hysteria and tickling it there with new, leftfield and unexpected humour. This balancing act wasn’t always an exact science, and the all male line-up (not counting Colin Hoult’s Anna Man) with an inclination towards ironic throwback machismo did leave large parts of the evening feeling quite boysy, but the audience didn’t seem to mind.

In a world searching for the novelty of the new and extraordinary, to have it sought out and served up every month for us is a lucky treasure.

Victoria Nangle

ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

The return of the absurd hijinks of the news team set in the ’80s doesn’t disappoint, with some occasionally great new gags. Paul Rudd’s Brian Fantana mentions that he spent two weeks in Prague shooting one cat photo for example, and looks forward to partying with Phil Spector and O.J. Simpson as part of a fun-loving gang called The Ladykillers.

There is some retreading of old ideas however, which feels a little

cheap and repetitive, and the female characters are again given a raw deal in terms of character depth and laughs. A solid sequel that could have been sharper and more carefully written, although some might feel that the hit-and-miss film appropriately reflects the chaotic characters.

Stars Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Christina Applegate and Paul Rudd.

Duke’s At Komedia, 2 January 2014 ✪✪✪ Joe Fuller

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014_017_LS661_previews_editorial 09/01/2014 15:52 Page 3 Foreste

WHAT’S ON STAGE

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>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES

STAGE: ...PERCHANCE TO DREAM To Sleep, a tragic but beautiful new drama and For The Trumpets Shall Sound, a tragic reminder of how LGBT life used to be, both come to Brighton’s Marlborough Theatre

C

overing one night in the lives of two strangers To Sleep is a brand new play by Matt Fox, which explores how people deal with the most difficult human situations.

To Sleep is original British drama, performed by two stunning actors, with a script which switches effortlessly between humour and tragedy. With warmth, compassion and dark humour, To Sleep shows how relationships can develop between different people

no matter how appalling their shared experiences might be.

“Ellie Lawrence’s portrayal of a 17 year old who has nothing left to live for is close to perfect... Matt Fox’s script was very tight: effortlessly switching between humour and tragedy.” – Showtime.

To Sleep, Marlborough Theatre, 4 Princes Street, Brighton, 30 January 2014, 7.30pm, £10/£8 www.brownpapertickets.com/event /495844

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

The Pride

Theatre Royal Brighton 14–18 Jan 2014 Box office 08448 717 650 www.atgtickets.com/brighton

Robin Cousins’ ICE The Brighton Centre Until 2 Feb 2014 Box office 0844 847 1515 www.brightoncentre.co.uk

Brendan Cole – Licence to Thrill Congress Theatre 16 Jan 2014 Box office 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk

Bolshoi Ballet – Jewels Connaught Cinema, Worthing 19 Jan 2014 Box office 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

STAGE: FOR THE TRUMPETS SHALL SOUND For The Trumpets Shall Sound by Gaelle Stark-Ordish takes place between England, 2001 and France during the Great War. There is an element of magical realism to the play with the present day transforming into the past from out of the pages of a diary.

Ruth and her son Jamie are sorting through boxes when they come across a photograph album, some letters and a diary dating from 1916. The diary belonged to Ruth’s grandfather and she has never seen it before. They also discover a number of photographs of a man whom Ruth knows nothing about, but he certainly seems to have known both of her grandparents well...

Persuaded by Jamie, Ruth begins to read the diary, and the attic in which she is sitting is transformed into the trenches, hospitals and cafés of France in 1916, and Jamie into Lieutenant James Wilmington, his great-grandfather.

The family secret found within the pages of the diary is that James was in love with another man, Robert, who was tragically killed. She also learns that Robert was her grandmother’s favourite cousin. Along with Ruth we discover the harsh reality of love in war and of relationships formed under fire, when all was far from fair.

“A tragic reminder of how LGBT life used to be, and a deeply moving

performance which should not be missed.” – Mary Woodward (ScotsGay) ***** The Marlborough Theatre, 4 Princes St, Brighton, BN2 1RD Thu 23–Fri 24 January 2014 8pm– 9.15pm Tickets: £8.50/£7 Available from: trumpets.bpt.me

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014_017_LS661_previews_editorial 09/01/2014 15:52 Page 4 Robert Newman

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WHAT’S ON COMEDY&FILM, ART&EVENTS EVENT: CRAFTING AT HANGLETON LIBRARY A fun and creative badge making and drawing activity for ages 4+, inspired by the Into The Blue exhibition a Hove Museum. Children under 8 must be accompanied by a responsible adult.

Hangleton Library, Hove, Sat 18 Jan, 10am–12pm, Free

COMEDY: I’M SORRY I HAVEN’T A CLUE: THE OFFICIAL STAGE TOUR BBC Radio 4’s antidote to panel games comes to town with all of its bells, whistles and off-key singing

T

he iconic BBC Radio panel show (or self-styled antidote to panel games) rolls into town for two recordings – one in the early afternoon and one in the evening – to suit any fan’s schedule. Hosted by Jack Dee, who stepped into the very big MC-ing boots of Humphrey Littleton in 2008, and with regular panelists Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer joined by the ever popular and musically praised Jeremy Hardy. Oh, and Colin Sell providing accompaniment at the piano. Aren’t we the lucky ones, with this cracking line-up?

I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue first arrived on our airwaves 41 years ago, presenting itself as an anarchic antidote to many of the popular comedy formats – which it still is today. Including such classics as [singing] One Song To The Tune Of Another and the logic cul-de-sac that is Mornington Crescent, this is a real treat of an opportunity to find out more about what doesn’t make the cut for our airwaves, and maybe even sneak a peek at ‘the lovely Samantha’, keeper of scores, we’ve heard so much about all of these years.

Brighton Dome is also offering a dining package opportunity to the evening show, serving up a deliciously tasty two- (£16.50) or three-course (19.50) meal in plenty of time to get to the show in the same venue. Meals must be booked at least 48 hours ahead of the performance.

I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Saturday 18 January 2014, 2.30pm & 7.30pm, £26/23, www.brightondome.org, 01273 709709

COMEDY: ROBIN INCE, MICHAEL LEGGE AND GUESTS: POINTLESS ANGER RIGHTEOUS IRE Two very funny and frequently cross men question whether they’re angry about the right things, and shout about it. Either one of these comics are worth more than this cover price on thier own – together this is a proper New Year’s treat.

Upstairs At Three And Ten, Tues 14 Jan, 8pm, £10/8.50

FILM: THE WOLF OF WALL STREET (18) Dir: Martin Scorsese A collaboration between Scorsese and DiCaprio is always something to look forward to, and this time Leo will be delving into a different kind of troubled mind. His performance as a corrupt stockbroker has been praised for matching the intense heights of The Aviator and The Departed and it might even prove cathartic for us to watch the fall of a selfish man in the financial world.

Released Fri 17 Jan Showing at Duke's At Komedia, Odeon and Cineworld

COMEDY: CLEVER PETER AND FRIENDS The award-winning sketch group, you know the ones – with their own BBC Radio 4 series – are back with an evening of sketch, character and musical comedy.

Upstairs At Three And Ten, Fri 17 Jan, 8pm, £8/6.50 EVENTS: TANGO BOOT CAMP Authentic Argentine Tango suitable for total beginners with no need for a partner could be perfect for a passionate night out to spice up your week. You can also stay for a social dance (milonga) afterwards featuring both traditional and modern tango music.

Latest Musicbar, Wed 15 Jan, 8pm, £5/£8 whole night or £3/£3.50 social dancing only (after 9.45pm)

The Wolf Of Wall Street

FILM: TIM’S VERMEER (12A) Dir: Teller A documentary in which an inventor (Tim Jenison) attempts to emulate the painting techniques of Dutch Master Johannes Vermeer might sound a little dry, but it’s been hailed as “awe-inspiring” and

Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

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TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

Brighton's very own TV channel is coming to Channel 8. Launch date: 2014

014_017_LS661_previews_editorial 10/01/2014 14:39 Page 5

WHAT’S ON MUSIC&FILM, ART&EVENTS Tim’s Vermeer

“incendiary” so we can expect an enriching, informative watch.

Released Fri 17 Jan Showing at Duke’s At Komedia art: FUll CIrCle Full Circle is a playful and immersive art installation for the ONCA Gallery by artist Beccy McCray. It simulates a human snow globe and a super-sized snowball, both of which consist of tens of thousands of hole punches collected from within the community. The installation is a reflection on consumption and the huge amount of waste generated over the festive season – look out for ‘punch party’ workshops in the gallery! www.fullcircle-project.tumblr.com ONCA Gallery, 14 St George’s Place, 01273 958291. Until 9 Feb. art: SUbverSIve DeSIgn From high fashion to high street consumerism, cheeky ceramics to controversial chairs, provocative lamps to ‘rubbish’ jewellery, this major exhibition subverts your preconceptions and challenges your relationship with objects you use on a daily basis. Featruing the work of Alexander McQueen,

Philippe Starck, Grayson Perry, Vivienne Westwood and many more.

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900.

Until 9 Mar. MUSIC: lavenDore rogUe + golDIe reeD Rising out of the ashes of Hokie Joint, LaVendore Rogue bring a fresh and vibrant mix of voodoo blues, roots, Americana. Hook-ridden and raw. While rising star Goldie Reed’s unique blend of blues-rooted Americana is melded with hints of English folk. Support from Beth Morris. A BiGiAM promotion.

Latest Musicbar, Fri 17 Jan, 7.30pm, £5 Goldie Reed

MUSIC: JIMMy lIvIngStone With a splash of Americana and a sliver of soul, this emerging British singer songwriter debut’s album One Eye Open, One Eye Closed, was released earlier this year, featuring a highly eclectic bunch of quality musicians including Doug Pettibone.

He’s been supporting Lucinda Williams on tour recently, but this is his first headlining UK tour.

Greys, Mon 20 Jan, 8.30pm, £8

For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

TOTAlly cOmpReHeNSiVe!

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MUSIC: WarpaInt All-female four piece are on their path to glory

W

arpaint were formed in Los Angeles in 2004 by childhood friends Theresa Wayman and Emily Kokal, along with sisters Shannyn Sossamon (who had already started carving out a successful career as an actress, appearing in such films as A Knight's Tale and The Rules of Attraction) and Jenny Lee Lindberg. “Theresa and I met when we were 11, in choir practice,” Kokal has said. “We used to sing together when we’d walk to school. She and I moved to New York when we were 18. We travelled to Southeast Asia, Europe and eventually drove cross-country to live in Los Angeles.”

With Emily dating the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ John Frusciante, and Sossamon becoming a movie star whilst drumming with Warpaint, perhaps all they had to do was to turn up, in order to generate interest. But it’s never as simple as that, is it? Warpaint’s exploratory post-punk aesthetic took a while to get seriously noticed, and their music has never been about classic verse-chorus-verse structures. “We always try to play from an emotional place,” Kokal has said. “That seems to be what we instinctively use music for – a cathartic experience, getting something out.”

Frusciante did end up helping out, and mixed their debut EP, Exquisite Corpse. But by the time it came out Sossamon had left to focus on acting, and her eventual replacement, the Australian Stella Mozgawa, helped to unite the band’s disparate sensibilities.

Signing to Rough Trade though sealed the deal, taking Warpaint away from their Los Angeles, to the outside world where they were unknown.

A support tour with xx was followed by the release of debut album The Fool, which became an indie success, artistically and commercially.

Their second album is perhaps even more experimental than before.

Lindberg has said that the songs were created by “just jamming and freeflowing onstage,” and are more minimalist; keyboards feature throughout.

It’s brave stuff, and further confirmation that while they had some notable rock star connections at the beginning, they were always going to be far too independently minded and musically adventurous to consciously take advantage. Lindberg has said: “We were all enamoured of the entertainment industry at first, seeing famous people, and hanging out – it was how we met. But it all gets to feel a bit old after a while.”

Lindberg’s husband is video director Chris Cunningham, and he spent much of the last two years documenting the making of the album, which will be made available shortly after the release of the album.

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Thursday 23 January 2014, 8pm, £17.50

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Call Rachel on 01273 818150 x105 to be involved Issue out 25th March 2013

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18

WHAT’S ON CLUBS

L7 BACK TO JACK The diary of a reluctant clubber

SADE ALI’S 2014 BUCKET LIST!

W

ho was it that decreed that when you pass 30 your dancing shoes only came out to play at weddings and Bah Mitzvahs? Certainly not me, but to be honest the days when I planned a night out dancing haven’t been around for some time. It just sort of happens. A drink after work on a Friday, a friend’s birthday, or simply breaking up for Christmas and the start of what feels like the school holidays can all be reasons to ‘end up on the good end of a boogie’, and it just so happened that all three of these happened to me at once last December.

It would seem that as I’ve gotten older a greater factor in why I haven’t gone on to dance the night away is the idea of the morning after... and the morning after that.. and maybe the one that follows that one. The time it takes to recover from a hedonistic celebration of being alive increases exponentially the longer you are alive. The thrill, and I can say this with authority, remains the same. However, these days people are more jaded, they demand more from their nights out, and it’s these delights that tempted me on from the pub with the birthday chap and several of his good pals down the steps of Funfair.

Now I don’t know if they do this with all newcomers but within five minutes of hitting the dancefloor – coat deposited in the cloakroom and fresh drink firmly in hand – I suddenly found myself surrounded by a small swarm of young ladies, mostly of the blonde persuasion, dancing with me and a happy official-looking snapper clicking away with his camera facing straight at me. Maybe they mistook me for a minor celebrity (I hear there are quite a few of those around this town) or perhaps it was a fresh novelty for a place that is already equipped with a ball pit to have an ‘oldie’ sans make-up but with a look of enjoyment regularly seen slapped across Snoopy’s face when he does his happy dance. I don’t know. All I know is somewhere out there are those photos that are the closest I’m ever going to look to Kanye West. Oh, and I have learned one other thing: I personally need at least two strapping blokes to help me get out of that ball pit. It’s good to have friends.

I

have decided to make the most of 2014 and do everything I can to make sure I have a good year and not miss out on anything.

To help you do the same I have formed a bucket list of things to do before the year is over. Some embarassing and some just pure awesome, these things will guarantee you a year to never forget!

1 Visit every single club, bar and pub in Brighton. I know it’s hard as there are so many but you might just find a new favourite spot and experience different places, themes, people and cultures.

2 Go ice skating at the Royal Pavilion. Whether it’s before it closes at the beginning of the year or waiting until Christmas time again, it really is an experience you will love.

3 Go to a concert, gig or live performance. You will be surprised how much you appreciate watching someone show off their talent. Nights like this are great opportunities 4 Visit one of the shisha bars. Al naklha at the top of West Street is a lovely spot to go for a drink and something to eat and they are pretty darn good at making Shisha.

5 Go to the theatre/Brighton Dome. Watch something you wouldn't normally see. Always a new fun and exciting experience.

6 Have a mad night out. Dance on the tables. Sing your heart out.

Eat in Buddies at the end of the night and wake up in the morning wondering what happened the night before. Always funny and, after all, you do only live once. But remember, please drink safe!

7 Go out clubbing in fancy dress. Some of the best nights I have had have been fancy dress. If you do, tweet me your pictures and the best dressed will get printed!

8 Just enjoy your year. Live every day like it’s your last. Explore Brighton and see all the beautiful things in the city!

@SadeAli

Words: Anonymous

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018_019_LS661_brightonafterdark_editorial 08/01/2014 11:48 Page 3

WHAT’S ON CLUBS

19

BRIGHTON NOISE

Alastair Reid on this week’s gigs

I

made myself a number of promises when I started this column, foremost among them being to avoid the trite, diary-led clichés of columnists everywhere in letting the obvious dictate the topic of the week. But December is the equivalent of lying horizontal being funnel-fed pure alcohol, cold meats and Scrabble pieces by friends and co-workers and by January I’m sweating gravy and pissing whiskey, haunted by drunken decisions and mounting responsibilities. Christmas is a cliché, that’s half the point. So I’m giving up drinking.

It’s not a new year’s resolution, more the dawning realisation that I can’t remember the last time I went a week without turning up to work late reeking of stale Becks and winging meetings on past glories and offers to make the tea. So I’ve given up drinking. Without alcohol, half of Brighton would go out of business and the other would enter serious withdrawal, rendering the town a Ballardian wasteland of day-tripping phillistines content with X Factor and a new branch of Starbucks, but I, for one, am taking myself out of the equation.

With a clear mind and steady hands the world is cleaner, easier and more productive. I highly recommend it.

This week sees the return of Brighton Noise nights for 2014 as we host Saturday Sun, Chalk and The Creaking Chair at the Prince Albert on Wednesday. Saturday Sun were recently picked as one of The Guardian’s new bands of the day for their powerful, genre-spanning prog acoustica, touching on folk, rock, blues and touches of psychedelia. Chalk had one of 2013’s best Brighton albums with his personal, eponymous debut and Andrew AC Cooper’s The Creaking Chair will open. An evening of stirring acoustic guitar-based songwriting.

Thursday has Luo headlining the Green Door Store to raise money for friends running the Brighton Half Marathon for Macmillan Cancer Research.

If you haven’t heard Luo, he makes dense and melodic electronica on record, transformed into a four-piece band on stage and is a star on the rise. Kudu Blue and Fools Blue support.

Head to The Hope on Saturday to see The Hundredth Anniversary’s lo-fi, hazy post-rock, supported by The Grafham Water Sailing Club’s gothic post-punk and the wonderful, bouncing 50s beach rock of I Like The Go Go. All these shows are around a fiver; go get something new in your week.

The Heatwave

>DON’T MISS< INSPIRED PRESENTS YOUSEF (CIRCUS) An exciting new club project launches this Friday at Audio, showcasing influential artists that inspire the dancefloor. Yousef (of the revered club event Circus), kicks things off with his vast house music record collection and there’s support from Suze Rosser and Jon Byrne.

Audio, Fri 17 Jan, 11pm, £10/£8 HOT WUK FEAT THE HEATWAVE The hugely popular bashment carnival is heading to Concorde 2, renowned for an electric party atmosphere, incredible rhythms and abundant booty shaking.

Concorde 2, Fri 17 Jan, 11pm, £5

SLS (SOUNDS LIKE SATURDAY) Shakedown DJ competition winner Sammy G brings his pumping mixes of Major Lazer, Tinie Tempah and many more to the Coalition, along with hip hop and R’n’B from DJs Fifi and Razor.

Coalition, Sat 18 Jan, 11pm, £5 SPELLBOUND Widely known for being the ’80s club night for people who HATE ’80s nights’, Spellbound features alternative classics from bands like The Cure, The Human League, The Smiths, Siouxsie and many more.

Komedia, Sat 18 Jan, 9pm, £6/£5

Luo

Pic Tom Scrace

wedding special

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STARS | TV

STARS With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

As the Full Moon culminates in a very deep position of your chart, domestic matters both practical and emotional come to a climax and must be dealt with. Relationships are passionately magnetised or decidedly polarised, yes, there are challenges, try to keep a cool head.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

There’s rather a lot of sexual tension in the air, it’s seeking an outlet. Relationships at work or in a domestic situation are mostly likely to be affected. If you keep light footed, the Full Moon ensures you can’t cause too much trouble.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

This is one of the hottest weeks in the month for romance, not only will Venus reveal her hidden treasure, but the frisson caused by her union with Mars is unparalleled. The Full Moon also helps you value your darker side.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

The full moon on the 16th is in your sign, emotions are magnified and merged with the dark moon Lilith, so you may have an emotional encounter with the shadow side of your sexuality.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

You’re being a bit obsessive, but that’s alright as long as you are managing your own expectations. There's a fire fuelling your dreams and the desire to make manifest runs parallel, as if unable to draw on the light.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

One friend stands out during this Full Moon period, helping you to better understand the depths that you are willing to travel, in order to make your dreams come true. Venus is put upon by Mars, here we see this tension, bound to enjoying its captivity.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

A slave to desire to passion to torment, if the world were food, and one was hungry, one would not question the need to eat.

Yet in matters concerning the body’s desire for the bounty of creation, you go getting all thoughtful?! It’s ok, it’s a short term influence anyway.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Playing down passions may seem like the right thing to do, but as Mars stirs up desire from the least tempered aspect of your psyche, it’s not going to be easy to stay on top and keep hold of those fantastical reigns.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

Around the Full Moon your challenge is not just to understand how you value money, but how others do. Dig deep, for a solution to your current quandary can be found in the art of relationships.

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Like a bottle of champaign, Capricorn is in desperate need of a big celebration. For all your achievements are largely played down for show, all the while, you privately hanker for recognition. A relationship breakthrough is imminent.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

Communications get widely more encompassing as quick witted androgynous Mercury steels the show, by eloquently jibber jabbing about your sign! It’s about time the world got a dose of ‘what’s actually on your mind’. Still, fun and games aside, if you're really clever, you'll have a proper rest.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

The Full Moon turns up the romantic temperature to sizzling, saucy and sweaty kind of hot! Gung-Ho Pisces! One friend may resist the changes that you feel ready to make, remember to call upon your inner guru at times of conflict.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 814 – 20 JANUARY it’s written a massive ego lands smack bang in the middle of the script and scribbles in a huge hissy fit all over everyone else’s rather nice characters and lines. This ego is called John Moreland. And he thinks he’s Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon.

With Victoria Nangle This is normally the point where I give a measured counter argument to my initial opinion.

I really won’t be. It’s like we can see the pub conversation that sketched out this idea and then kept going while the beers were flowing.

And didn’t go any further.

John Moreland is a maverick, about to be suspended, his team are devoted to him to the point h jeepers, this guy is a dick. I wasn’t sure to where it looks like one of team – Daniel Price – start off with, I thought he might just be a bit might even have a big old metrosexual crush on him. arrogant and overly sure of himself, but no. I “Whatever you want I'll do, just tell me who to am, or course, talking about the main protagonist punch out.” Such devotion when punching someone on the new Channel Five crime drama Played, John out is exactly what John did to almost get Moreland as portrayed by actor Vincent Walsh. suspended. Daniel wants to be just like John. Swoon.

Usually I get on very well with all of John and his team are picked to join Channel Five’s crime dramas. the elite new group by boss Rebecca.

“Daniel wants Why did she pick him, he wants to Sometimes I’ve found them a little weak, a bit by the book, but gently “Because you’re extraordinary to be just like know. reassuring as they put together the and I want to work with the best.” jigsaw puzzles of the case using the But he’s not extraordinary, John. Swoon” everyone big clues as the corner pieces and just keeps saying that he is. working inwards until they’ve got the He’s not original – he has an ex wife entire picture in front of you and it’s all done and and a teenaged daughter whom he keeps letting ready for the next one. The characters are usually down but seems so much more mature than he is ensemble casts, even with the big star players of Ten (I refer you back to the previously mentioned Shark Danson and Laurence Fishburne of CSI: Crime Scene and Castle for those already tired traits). He’s a wild Investigation, it’s still been about having a good cast card with no respect whatsoever for the skills of pull together. Almost as if this is what the guy from his team or his superior, barging in and interrupting Sesame Street did next once he’d finished explaining an interrogation, texting: ‘GET DRESSED’ to his ‘co-op-er-ation’ to pre-schoolers and thought it was undercover wife as shorthand that seems to apply time the adults learned how to play together. to all of his communication not to acknowledge the Clearly programmes like Shark and Castle have person. John’s a proper bull in a china shop, risking a primary focus, someone there’d be real difficulty everybody’s lives, behaving rashly, and not living in continuing the show without, but they’re still a up to the respect and downright baffling adoration central role to an ensemble cast. Played thinks it bestowed upon him. I stand by my opening has this. It so hasn’t. Played is what happens statement: he’s a dick. ’Nuff said. when an ensemble cast programme is written, and Played, 5USA, Friday 17 January 2014 focused around an interesting premise of a group of elite cops moving from focus to focus to plan undercover stings to catch the bad guys. Like Follow me: latestvicky BBC1 did with By Any Means last year. Except after

Telly Talk

Played off O

021_LS661_TV_tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 08/01/2014 12:06 Page 1

tuesday 14 Location, Location, Location Channel 4, 8pm Phil and Kirstie are hot on the trail of dream homes in the West Country. With prices rising again their expertise is more than welcome, as the Shrewsbury family look to put down roots after years of travelling round the country due to Tim’s job with the RAF. And in Bristol, newlyweds are after their very first home. Ah.

House Of Fools BBC2, 10pm If you say; “anarchic, surreal sitcom”, it’s hardly a great leap to find the names Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer attached to the project. With an array of uninvited guests and lodgers, Bob just wants some peace to be able to watch Conan The Barbarian on the telly with his date. Could it ever be that easy?

Bad Education BBC3, 10pm The parents of Abbey Grove School are concerned, to say the very least, with regard to the impending arrival of the French exchange students. After last year’s lovestruck devastation in the wake of Jean Claude and co Fraser determines that Alfie will be his secret weapon in the quest for sex education. Hmm.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Father Brown 3.00 Perfection 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming 7.50 Real Lives Reunited 8.20 Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds 9.05 Antiques Roadshow 10.05 Britain’s Empty Homes 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Masters Snooker

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Carol makes a decision about her relationship with Masood, and seeks some comfort from a familiar face.

8.00 Holby City Colette finds herself under professional scrutiny. And shock ricochets around Keller when a controversial figure returns, Jac and Jonny struggle to cope as their baby’s life hangs in the balance.

9.00 Death In Paradise Detective drama series. A university reunion party that DI Richard Poole is attending is brought to an abrupt halt when one of the group is murdered with an ice pick. With the case proving particularly sensitive, a new British detective, DI Humphrey Goodman, arrives on the island to help the team get to the bottom of the mysterious case.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Motorway Cops The reality series revealing the everyday heroism of our traffic police.

11.35 FILM: Disturbia (2007) Starring Shia LaBeouf, Carrie-Anne Moss, Sarah Roemer, David Morse, Viola Davis. Tense thriller about a troubled high school student who becomes convinced he is living next door to a wanted serial killer.

1.15am Weatherview 1.20 News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo is guided by his Bradshaw’s Handbook on a journey from London’s Euston station to Leeds.

7.00 Great British Garden Revival Chris Beardshaw campaigns for everyone to plant herbaceous borders in their gardens.

8.00 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off Celebrities take on baking challenges for Sport Relief.

9.00 Wild Brazil Three-part nature documentary. Three charismatic animal families, capuchin monkeys, giant otters and coatis, strive to raise their families against a backdrop of extraordinary landscapes and huge extremes of weather – a beautiful yet dangerous world full of jaguars and caiman.

10.00 House Of Fools See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman.

11.20 Masters Snooker – Highlights Jason Mohammad introduces highlights from the evening’s match.

12.10am Masters Snooker – Extra 2.10 Sign Zone: The Midwives – Midwife In The Making 4.00 Coping 4.30 Just A Few Drinks 5.00 Same But Different

6.25am Countdown 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Will And Grace 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia 11.00 Building The Dream 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sinead discovers the truth about Freddie’s secrecy.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Location, Location, Location See highlights.

9.00 The Taste Cookery competition hosted by Nigella Lawson, Ludo Lefebvre and Anthony Bourdain. In episode two the three mentors see their hand-picked contestants in action for the first time. Guest chef Richard Corrigan sets and judges a ‘classic’ challenge, where the mentors must coach their cooks to create the best prawn cocktail.

10.00 Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares USA In the conclusion to the Mill Street Bistro saga, Gordon’s disagreement with owner Joe Nagy erupts into one of his most intense confrontations yet.

10.55 The Undateables Uplifting series following people with a variety of disabilities as they look for love. Mary is a 44-year-old mature student with achondroplasia who has represented Team GB in the Dwarf Games.

11.55 Random Acts 12.00am PokerStars.com European Poker Tour Barcelona 12.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.25 Trans World Sport 2.20 Beach Volleyball 3.15 Secret Eaters 4.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.50am Children’s television 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 World’s Worst Holiday Horrors 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Too Late To Say Goodbye (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away With Brax in jail and no one able to see him, the Braxton brothers must decide whether or not to reopen Angelo’s.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland.

7.30 Highland Emergency Royal Navy Rescue 177 is tasked to rescue two critically injured climbers.

8.00 Gibraltar: Britain In The Sun Observational documentary series following the lives of the natives and expats who live in Gibraltar.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Celebrity Big Brother house.

10.00 Autopsy: Whitney Houston’s Last Hours Documentary series.

Singer and actress Whitney Houston had a voice that propelled her into the pop stratosphere, but no amount of talent could protect her from the demons that brought about her death at the age of just 48.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis presents a round-up of Celebrity Big Brother-related news and debate.

12.00am Botched Up Bodies 1.00 SuperCasino 3.05 Hens Behaving Badly 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Monday Night Football 11.30 SPFL Round-Up 12.00pm FL72 Review 1.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Ford Monday Night Football 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 SPFL Round-Up 5.30 Barclays Premier League Review 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Barclays Premier League Review 11.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams 11.30 Football Gold 11.45 Football Gold 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 Barclays Premier League Review 1.30 Revista De La Liga 4.30 Barclays Premier League Review 5.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Megan struggles to cope at being left home alone.

7.30 River Monsters Extreme angler Jeremy Wade heads to Colombia to investigate a creature blamed for killing a bride in the Amazon.

8.00 Weight Loss Ward Documentary series chronicling the work of the UK’s biggest and busiest obesity unit based at the Sunderland Royal Hospital. 56-year-old recluse Doreen Thomas is 4 ft 11 and 31 stone. She has turned to the Weight Loss Ward for help when moving out of her front door became a problem.

9.00 Paul O’Grady’s Animal Orphans First of a three-part series in which Paul O’Grady visits Zambia and South Africa on the trail of young animals which have been orphaned in the wild, either through the actions of poachers or through farming forcing them out of their natural habitats.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 James Cracknell: Sports Life Stories Double Olympic champion rower and endurance athlete James Cracknell talks about his incredibly varied sporting career.

11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Series taking a look behind the scenes at Australia Zoo. 12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Ford Monday Night Football 8.30 LIVE Big Bash Cricket 12.00pm Ashes Modern Classics 12.30 Sporting Greats 1.00 Big Bash Cricket 4.30 Ashes Modern Classics 5.00 TBA 7.30 LIVE Revista De La Liga Special 10.30 Weber Cup Ten Pin 11.30 Sports Unlimited 12.30am Sporting Greats 1.00 Poker – 100 Greatest Moments 2.00 Weber Cup Ten Pin 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Poker - 100 Greatest Moments 5.00 Weber Cup Ten Pin

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Close 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 SPFL Round-Up 9.30 Football Gold 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 TBA 12.00pm Warren Miller’s Cold Fusion 1.30 TBA 4.00 IRB Dubai Sevens Highlights 5.00 The Premier League Years 7.00 LIVE Greyhound Racing 9.30 TBA 11.30 Big Bash Cricket 3.00am TBA 5.00 Ashes Modern Classics 5.30 Sporting Greats

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 4.00 Harrow: A Very British School 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 9.00 Road Wars Special 10.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance 11.00 A League Of Their Own (x2) 1.00am An Idiot Abroad

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Tough Young Teachers 9.00 Underage And Over The Limit 10.00 Bad Education.

See highlights. 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Underage And Over The Limit 1.30 Bad Education 2.00 Tough Young Teachers

7.00pm News Today 7.30 Orangutan Diary 8.00 Stories From The Dark Earth: Meet The Ancestors Revisited 9.00 One Wild Winter: Surviving Avalanches 10.00 Climbing Everest With A Mountain On My Back: The Sherpa’s Story 10.55 The Eiger: Wall Of Death 12.00am Natural World

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) 11.30 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.25am Guinness World Records

10.45am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 The Royal 3.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Fresh Fields 4.45 Man About The House 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 Trial And Retribution 11.00 The Vice 12.10am The Railway Children

3.00pm Rude(ish) Tube (x2) 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: Big Momma’s House (2000) 11.00 Rude Tube 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.00 Revenge

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Double Your House For Half The Money 10.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Nashville

11.00am Carry On Sergeant (1958) 12.40pm Operation Pacific (1951) 2.50 Donovan’s Reef (1963) 5.00 When Eight Bells Toll (1971) 6.50 The Extraordinary Adventures Of Adele BlancSec (2010) 9.00 True Lies (1994) 11.45 Working Girl (1988) 1.55am Little Miss Sunshine (2006) 4.00 Close

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wednesday 15 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction Channel Five, 9pm Cue the screaming, over excitement and expectations on both sides of the locked front door. Will the evicted celeb be greeted with a new movie offer as their profile soared? Are the fans going to get the dirt in the eviction interview with Emma Willis? Only one way to find out.

Finding Mum And Dad Channel 4, 10pm It’s hard enough entering the care system, but then to find that the siblings you were taken with can’t be close by can be brutal.

This looks at two young brothers in care and the difficulties faced by social workers to keep them together, as well as a new scheme that might help the boys find a place with a family.

The Tomorrow People E4, 9pm Everybody loves revisiting an old sci-fi series, especially if they never saw the original but know enough to experience a phantom nostalgia. Bless. Anyway, Ultra does his best to read Stephen’s brain, then Cara helps him, and together they find out who’s been using his brain for nefarious purposes. Gadzooks!

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¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Father Brown 3.00 Perfection 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 7.45 Real Lives Reunited 8.15 Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds 9.00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 10.00 Kangaroo Dundee 10.30 See Hear 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm Masters Snooker

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders After getting her feelings out in the open, Carol decides to do what is going to make her happy.

8.30 Waterloo Road School-based drama. In an attempt to resolve her money worries, Carol gets a temporary job in the school kitchen, until George gets in the way.

Meanwhile, Nikki considers the future of her relationship with Vix, and George and Christine go on a date to the theatre.

9.30 Live At The Apollo Nina Conti and her monkey are the hosts, with special guests Rob Beckett and Jimeoin.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the fast-paced sports quiz. Regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell are joined by Olympic heptathlete champion Denise Lewis, England batsman Mark Butcher, world champion canoeist David Florence and champion swimmer Mark Foster.

11.05 FILM: Tropic Thunder (2008) Starring Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr, Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T Jackson and Steve Coogan. Action comedy.

12.45am Weatherview 12.50 News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Heading north, Michael stops in Northampton, the land of shoemakers, where Victorian ‘clickers’ have been making shoes for more than 130 years.

7.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events Chris Packham continues his exploration of nature’s most bizarre and extraordinary happenings.

8.00 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off Celebrities take on baking challenges for Sport Relief. Omid Djalili is host of the Bake Off tent.

9.00 Wild Brazil Three-part nature documentary. This intimate journey to the heart of a spectacular country continues, following the animal families as they face the formidable monsoon rains. The giant otter babies must watch out for predatory jaguars and learn to swim before their river floods.

10.00 Mock The Week... Again Topical comedy. Dara O Briain and the regulars tackle another week’s news, with guests Mark Watson, Milton Jones and Ava Vidal.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Masters Snooker – Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from the evening’s match.

12.10am Masters Snooker – Extra 2.10 Sign Zone: See Hear 4.00 Pantocracy 5.00 True Stories

6.00am Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 6.25 Countdown 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Will And Grace 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia 11.00 Building The Dream 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks It’s Sinead and Freddie’s wedding, but as secrets are revealed, will the marriage go ahead?

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 The Restoration Man George Clarke travels the British Isles meeting people hoping to restore architectural treasures. In Brixham, architect Neil Worrell has moved in with his partner Jackie Robinson. They have taken on a large project as they attempt to restore a forgotten church.

9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital over a 24-hour period. In this episode, patients have to face up to some difficult home truths. Consultant Des is running Resus. One of his patients is 50-yearold mechanical engineer Graham, who’s rushed to King’s by ambulance.

10.00 Finding Mum And Dad See highlights.

11.05 Benefits Street Observational documentary series revealing the reality of life on benefits.

12.05am Random Acts 12.10 Launched At Red Bull Studios 12.35 What Happens In Sunny Beach 1.30 FILM: The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) 3.10 Southland 3.55 My Friend Michael Sniff 4.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.50 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Milkshake! Show Songs 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.05 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Flower Girl (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Tamara organises some surprise pampering for Casey.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Help! I’m 16 But Look 60: Extraordinary People Documentary following Zara Hartshorn from Rotherham in South Yorkshire who is 16 years old, but is often mistaken for a much older woman.

8.00 Bigger Big Body Squad Documentary series following teams of medical and service personnel tasked with looking after and moving the severely obese. Fortyeight-year-old Andrew, who weighs 31 stone, is facing an operation to amputate his leg, which has become severely infected due to weightrelated diabetes.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction See highlights.

10.30 Hens Behaving Badly Documentary series exploring the British hen party industry. Bride-to-be Emma goes out in public for the first time in ten years after shedding a third of her weight.

11.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Rylan Clark presents a round-up of Celebrity Big Brotherrelated news and debate.

12.20am The Big Game 1.15 SuperCasino 3.05 Botched Up Bodies 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00pm Barclays Premier League Review 1.00 Football Asia 1.30 Revista De La Liga 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 Barclays Premier League Review 5.55 Football’s Greatest International Teams 6.25 LIVE Spanish Football 8.30 LIVE Spanish Football 10.30 What’s The Story?

11.30 Football Gold 11.45 Football Gold 12.00am Spanish Football 1.00 Spanish Football 2.00 What’s The Story? 3.00 Football League Gold 3.15 Football League Gold 3.30 Spanish Football 4.30 Spanish Football 5.30 Football League Gold 5.45 Football League Gold

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale David is reluctant to trust Leyla.

7.30 Coronation Street Hayley fears her time is near.

8.00 Midsomer Murders When wealthy farmer Martin Strickland is covered in truffle oil and mauled to death by a wild boar, the investigation leads to restaurant Wyvern House and its tyrannical celebrity chef Ruth Cameron. Secrets from the past surface and the killer strikes again - but the poison spreads wider than its intended target.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan Ross welcomes celebrities and media personalities.

11.40 The Cube: Celebrity Special Dame Kelly Holmes and TV presenter Jenni Falconer take on the Cube.

12.35am Jackpot247 3.00 FILM: The Affair Of The Necklace (2001) 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show ***Alternative Schedule*** 8.00 FA Cup Replay Live Adrian Chiles presents live coverage of an FA Cup third-round replay.

10.15 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.50 FA Cup Replay Highlights 11.50 The Jonathan Ross Show

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Game Changers 7.00 Barclays Premier League Review 8.00 Ashes Modern Classics 8.30 LIVE T20 Big Bash League Cricket 12.00pm Ashes Modern Classics 12.30 TBA 1.00 T20 Big Bash League Cricket 4.30 Ashes Modern Classics 5.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 6.00 T20 Big Bash League Cricket 9.30 TBA 11.30 T20 Big Bash League Cricket 3.00am Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Close 7.00 WWE Vintage 8.00 TBA 8.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 9.00 Barclays Premier League Review 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 TBA 12.00pm Warren Miller’s Storm 1.30 TBA 4.00 IRB South Africa Sevens Highlights 5.00 Premier League Years 7.00 TBA 9.30 IRB South Africa Sevens Highlights 10.30 Sporting Greats 11.00 Inside the PGA Tour 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am TBA 2.30 IRB South Africa Sevens Highlights 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 World Pool Masters 5.30 Close

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kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

10.00am NCIS: LA (x4) 2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 4.00 A Very British School 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance 9.00 The Kumars 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 A League Of Their Own (x2) 1.00am An Idiot Abroad 2.00 Brit Cops

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 7.05 Top Gear 7.55 FILM: Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) 10.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents: Thailand 11.00 EastEnders 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am American Dad! 12.35 Uncle 1.05 The Limit 2.05 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents

7.00pm News 7.30 Elephant Diaries 8.00 Timeshift – How To Be Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses 10.00 Treasures Of Ancient Egypt 11.00 Icebound: The Greatest Dog Story Ever Told 12.00am Natural World: Grizzlies Of Alaska 1.00 Britain’s Most Fragile Treasure

4.10pm Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Benidorm 10.00 The Magaluf Weekender 11.00 Fake Reaction 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.45am The Magaluf Weekender

10.45am Christie’s Poirot 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 The Royal 3.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Fresh Fields 4.45 Duty Free 5.20 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 FILM: Doc Hollywood (1991) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 DCI Banks 11.00 The Vice 12.10am Prime Suspect 2.00 Nightscreen

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 The Tomorrow People. See highlights. 10.00 Rude Tube 11.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut 11.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.45am The IT Crowd (x2)

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 Jamie’s Money Saving Meals 10.00 Catching A Killer: Crocodile Tears 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Nashville

11.00am Cry Havoc (1944) 12.55pm Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 2.45 Kidnapped (1971) 4.50 One Million Years BC (1966) 6.50 Night At The Museum (2006) 9.00 District 13: Ultimatum (2009) 10.55 The Last Temptation Of Christ (1988) 2.05am The Breed (2006) 3.55 Close

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023_LS661_TV_thu_L7wed14apr.qxd 08/01/2014 12:07 Page 1

thursday 16 Birds Of A Feather ITV1, 8.30pm It’s a full house in Chigwell, as money and space are tight. Not only is Tracey’s house residence to herself and sister Sharon, but Garth and his girlfriend Marcie aren’t getting any quality time at the home either. The solution?

All change in the bedroom stakes, and Sharon finds something unexpected in the loft.

Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe BBC2, 10pm Poking fun at the world, which is a world that clearly takes itself too seriously most of the time anyway, Charlie Brooker is joined by his usual supporting cast of reprobates as the news, the trends and the media are turned on their heads and attacked with satire mercilessly. What fun.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine E4, 9pm Brand new US comedy drama about a group of New York city cops starring Andy Samberg.

You know, the guy who drove Greg Davies spare in Cuckoo.

Anyway, he and his gang of reprobate colleagues are in for a rude awakening when their new Captain arrives, ready to place his boot right up their incentives.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Father Brown 3.00 Perfection 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming 7.50 Real Lives Reunited 8.20 Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds 9.05 Tudor Monastery Farm 10.05 Kangaroo Dundee 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Masters Snooker

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Carol is shocked when she makes an unexpected discovery in her home.

8.00 Hidden Kingdoms Nature documentary telling the story of two young animals forced to grow up fast.

In Africa’s savannah a baby elephant shrew learns how speed is the secret to survival amongst the largest animals on earth.

9.00 Silent Witness Forensic crime drama series. Nikki and Jack head to Scotland to help earnest rural detective DS Jason Ross investigate the chilling murder of a lap dancer found in a remote forest. In their search to find a suspect, the team clash with rogue city detectives DS Mike MacNeil and DI Simon Laing.

But as more human remains are unearthed in the forest, it becomes horrifyingly apparent that a dangerous serial killer is at large.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby presents the topical debate from Durham.

11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, with Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott.

12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo is guided by his Bradshaw’s Handbook.

7.00 Masters Snooker Jason Mohammad introduces live coverage from the second quarter-final.

8.00 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off Celebrities take on baking challenges for Sport Relief. It is Ed Byrne’s turn to take up the baking baton and support the four celebrities.

9.00 Wild Brazil Three-part nature documentary. This intimate journey into the heart of a spectacular country concludes. A fierce drought ensues, culminating in huge and ferocious fires. The capuchin monkeys, giant otters, coatis and jaguars are proving their extreme survival skills while looking for mates and racing to breed.

10.00 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Masters Snooker – Highlights Jason Mohammad introduces highlights from the evening’s quarter-final matchs.

12.10am Masters Snooker – Extra 2.10 Sign Zone: Iceland Foods: Life In The Freezer Cabinet 4.00 Made Of Money 4.30 Music, Mud And Making Money 5.00 Counting With Rodd 5.55 Wonders Of Nature: Flamingo – Courtship Spectacle

6.00am Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 6.25 Countdown 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Will And Grace 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia 11.00 Building The Dream 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Desperate Freddie frantically searches for a missing loved one.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny The series encouraging healthier eating habits. Thirty-four-year-old serial dieter Joanne Allen, who weighs in at 19 stone and five pounds, meets 20-year-old fizzy drink addict Guy Sykes, in a swap that’s packed with drama and tears.

9.00 The Undateables Uplifting series following people with a variety of disabilities as they look for love. John lives in Kent and longs to meet his first ever girlfriend. Ruth, a 27-year-old jazz singer from north London, finds dating tricky.

10.00 What Happens In Sunny Beach Documentary series following hedonistic young Brits as they spend their summer holidays at Sunny Beach in Bulgaria. The second episode takes a look at the unique sex lives of young holiday makers as they let loose away from the constraints of life in Britain.

11.05 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series.

12.10am One Born Every Minute 1.05 Random Acts 1.10 Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares USA 2.00 The Fat Fighters 2.55 Secret Eaters 3.50 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.40 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Show Songs 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Baby Faced Brides 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.20 FILM: Avenging Angel (2007) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Roo tries to end Maddy’s relationship with Josh when she learns that the police have CCTV footage of the teens near Mangrove River High just before the fire.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Winter Road Rescue Shot over three months, this documentary series follows the snowplough drivers and patrols who work around the clock to make sure the UK does not grind to a halt when the winter weather does its worst.

8.00 World’s Worst Holiday Horrors Documentary series showing footage of real-life disasters captured on camera by the holidaymakers.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Celebrity Big Brother house.

Exclusive highlights of all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room.

10.00 Botched Up Bodies Documentary series featuring victims of dodgy cosmetic surgery as they undergo corrective treatment.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis presents a round-up of Celebrity Big Brotherrelated news and debate, with special guests.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.05 True CSI 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Spanish Football 10.00 Spanish Football 11.00 What’s The Story?

12.00pm Football’s Greatest International Teams 12.30 Spanish Football 1.30 Spanish Football 2.30 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE Amlin Cup 10.00 FL72 Preview 11.00 Ringside 12.00am NFL: A Football Life 1.00 Spanish Football 2.00 FL72 Preview 3.00 Spanish Football 4.00 Ringside 5.00 FL72 Preview

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Rachel makes a heartbreaking decision.

7.30 The Rise Of The E-Cigarette: Tonight In just seven years E-cigarettes have grown from an obscure Chinese import to being at the centre of one of the biggest public health debates for a generation.

Chris Choi looks at what is in them.

8.00 Emmerdale Rachel struggles to come to terms with what is ahead.

8.30 Birds Of A Feather See highlights.

9.00 Benidorm It is the day of the grand re-opening of Blow ‘n’ Go, the Solana’s hair and beauty salon, and Kenneth has hired a huge inflatable for the occasion. While helping to set it up, Liam bumps into the beautiful Bianca Dyke and immediately decides that he has fallen in love. Donald and Jacqueline receive some sad news.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Weight Loss Ward Documentary series chronicling the work of the UK’s biggest and busiest obesity unit based at the Sunderland Royal Hospital.

11.35 The Last Word A look at some of the big stories in the region with MPs and other prominent figures.

12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 The Rise Of The E-Cigarette: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Sky Sports 2 8.30am LIVE Big Bash Cricket 12.00pm World Pool Masters 1.00 Big Bash Cricket 4.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 5.00 FL72 Preview 6.00 Ringside 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 1.00am WWE NXT 2.00 Ringside

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE: Experience 8.00 What’s The Story? 9.00 World Pool Masters 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 TBA 12.00pm Journey: A Warren Miller Film 1.30 What’s The Story?

2.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 WWE Vintage 6.00 Big Bash Cricket 9.30 TBA 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00am Amlin Cup 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 4.00 Thinking Tackle 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

10.00am NCIS: LA (x4) 2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 4.00 Yonderland 4.30 The Simpsons (x2) 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 10.00 The Kumars 11.00 A League Of Their Own (x2) 1.00am An Idiot Abroad 2.00 Brit Cops

7.00pm Winter Wipeout 8.00 Motorway Cops 9.00 Tough Young Teachers 10.00 Live At The Apollo 10.30 EastEnders 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 American Dad! (x3) 1.00am Live At The Apollo 1.30 Tough Young Teachers 2.30 Live At The Electric 3.00 Tough Young Teachers

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1979 8.00 Ever Decreasing Circles (x2) 9.00 Treasures Of Ancient Egypt 10.00 Lost Land Of The Volcano 11.00 Stories From The Dark Earth: Meet The Ancestors Revisited 12.00am Top Of The Pops: 1979 12.40 Ever Decreasing Circles (x2) 1.40 Lost Land Of The Volcano

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Tricked 10.00 Fake Reaction 10.50 FILM: The Sweetest Thing (2002) 12.40am Two And A Half Men (x2)

10.45am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 The Royal 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Fresh Fields 4.45 Duty Free 5.15 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 DCI Banks 11.00 The Vice 12.10am A Touch Of Frost 2.05 ITV3 Nightscreen

4.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine. See highlight 9.30 2 Broke Girls 10.00 The IT Crowd (x2) 11.00 Rude Tube 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 Secret Eaters 10.00 The CCTV Traffic Wardens: Caught On Camera 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.05am Nashville 1.05 Secret Eaters

11.00am Le Quattro Volte (2010) 12.50pm Genevieve (1953) 2.35 Gideon Of Scotland Yard (1959) 4.25 Major Dundee (1965) 6.50 Footloose (1984) 9.00 Fair Game (2010) 11.05 The Departed (2006) 1.55am The King Of Comedy (1983) 4.00 Close

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024_LS661_TV_fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 10/01/2014 12:16 Page 1

friday 17 Silent Witness BBC1, 9pm The concluding part of last night’s two-part forensic crime drama has Nikki, Jack and DS Ross under pressure to close the net on the serial killer abducting young women. Not an unreasonable pressure, really.

Nikki’s confidence in the coppers drops when she discovers what looks like a past cover up.

8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown Channel 4, 9pm The clever and funny bods from 8 Out Of 10 Cats – Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Jon Richardson – take over the intellectual territory of Countdown again, with Rachel Riley rolling her eyes and Susie Dent sighing; “boys!” under her breath. With guests Kathy Burke and Josh Widdicombe.

FILM: Dazed And Confused Film4, 10.40pm From the director who came to define the ‘slacker’ generation, Richard Linklater. Set in May 1976, it’s the last days of high school for some and the first days for others, filled with relationships, friendships and attempts to get laid and get high.

Starring Milla Jovovich, Jason London, Matthew McConaughey.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 11.45 Real Lives Reunited 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Father Brown 3.00 Perfection 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 7.45 Real Lives Reunited 8.15 Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds 9.00 Sacred Wonders Of Britain 10.00 Question Time 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Masters Snooker

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the fast-paced sports quiz. Regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell are joined by Olympic heptathlete champion Denise Lewis, England batsman Mark Butcher, world champion canoeist David Florence and champion swimmer Mark Foster.

8.00 EastEnders Jake and Lauren are distraught when their risky behaviour leads them into trouble.

8.30 Miranda A fed-up Miranda makes a big life decision: she’s going travelling. She has packed her bags and is leaving, this time for good.

Stevie is devastated, and Penny is too wrapped up in renewing her wedding vows to notice. Only Gary can stop her going, but how does he really feel?

9.00 Silent Witness See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Among the guests on Graham’s sofa are film star Michael Fassbender, talking about his controversial role in 12 Years A Slave, and Lena Dunham.

11.25 EastEnders Carol has some difficult choices to make when she realises there are a lot of changes on the horizon.

1.50am Weatherview 1.55 News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo is guided by his Bradshaw’s Handbook on a journey from Euston station to Leeds.

7.00 Masters Snooker The fourth quarter-final gets underway at Alexandra Palace.

8.00 Mastermind Subjects are Charles Rennie Mackintosh, English test match cricket since 1990, Sam Phillips and the Sun Records label, and the novels of David Peace.

8.30 An Island Parish As Christmas approaches, everyone on the island makes their own unique preparations.

9.00 Italy Unpacked The second leg of Andrew Graham-Dixon and Giorgio Locatelli’s journey down the west coast of Italy finds them in Lazio.

10.00 QI Quiz show. Stephen Fry looks at a complete kaleidoscope of K-topics with Liza Tarbuck, Susan Calman, Sandi Toksvig and Alan Davies.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.05 Masters Snooker – Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from the evening’s quarter-final match.

11.55 Masters Snooker – Extra 1.55am Sign Zone: Question Time 2.55 Sign Zone: PQ 17: An Arctic Convoy Disaster

6.00am Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 6.25 Countdown 7.05 Will And Grace 7.30 Will And Grace 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.55 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia 11.00 Building The Dream 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.40 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren attempts to rekindle his relationship with Nancy.

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Jamie And Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast Cookery series presented by Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty from their cafe at the end of Southend pier. Sienna Miller gets saucy with her Tuscan duck ragu, Jamie cooks a whole salmon in salt, Jimmy creates a DIY hog roast for the ultimate crackling and the boys try to revive a forgotten British biscuit.

9.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown See highlights.

10.00 Sarah Millican: Chatterbox Live Sarah Millican performs live in London as part of her 2011 ‘Chatterbox’ tour. Millican invites viewers into her wonderful world, where living alone drives your parents to put you on suicide watch, and where a cup of tea in the bath is the epitome of luxury.

11.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine US comedy drama about a group of New York City police detectives.

11.35 FILM: Saw II (2005) Starring Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Donnie Wahlberg, Erik Knudsen, Glenn Plummer. Horror sequel in which the psychopathic Jigsaw returns to continue playing his macabre games.

1.10am Random Acts 1.15 FILM: Chinatown (1974) 3.25 The Big C 4.20 FILM: August Rush (2007)

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Show Songs 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Bigger Big Body Squad 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.15 FILM: Jane Doe: Till Death Do Us Part (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away A furious Maddy accuses Roo of being behind her split with Josh, but Roo soon has bigger concerns when news arrives that Harvey has gone missing at sea.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Police Interceptors Observational documentary series following the high-speed lawenforcement pursuit specialists.

8.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge Documentary series.

Robson ventures across the Atlantic to eastern Canada, where he attempts to catch his biggest ever Atlantic salmon, his biggest ever tuna and his biggest fish ever on the fly.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction Emma Willis presents highlights of the latest events from inside the Celebrity Big Brother house, including live coverage of all the drama and excitement as a housemate is evicted.

10.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Rylan Clark presents a round-up of Celebrity Big Brotherrelated news and debate in the wake of the latest round of evictions.

11.30 Celebrity Big Brother All the drama and excitement of Celebrity Big Brother as it happens.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.05 True CSI 3.55 Highland Emergency 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FL72 Preview 10.00 Spanish Football 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 Football League Gold 11.45 Football League Gold 12.00pm Amlin Cup 3.00 FL72 Preview 4.00 Spanish Football 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold 6.00 Fantasy Football Club 7.00 TBA 10.00 Fantasy Football Club 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 Football Gold 11.45 Football Gold 3.00am IRB Sevens Rugby 3.30 Fantasy Football Club 4.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.00 Football Gold 5.15 Football Gold 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The villagers are in shock as news spreads.

7.30 Coronation Street Roy is forced to face facts. Will Leanne accept Stella’s olive branch?

8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show In this episode, Martin and Saira are saving money on planes, trains, automobiles – and home insurance.

8.30 Coronation Street Hayley starts saying her goodbyes.

9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Neil Morrissey Neil Morrissey joins Piers Morgan to look back over his life and career. The Men Behaving Badly star talks openly, for the first time, about his infamous affair with Amanda Holden and how he felt when he was branded a love rat. He also reflects on being taken into care when he was just ten years old and reveals how Mel Gibson was happy for him to pretend to be his brother.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Americans Cold War drama series following two KGB agents posing as Americans. US President Ronald Reagan has been shot, but who is responsible?

11.35 Benidorm It is the day of the grand re-opening of Blow ‘n’ Go, the Solana’s hair and beauty salon.

12.25am Jackpot247 3.00 FILM: The Pledge (2001) 5.05 ITV Nightscreen

Sky Sports 2 3.00pm Ringside 4.00 Thinking Tackle 5.00 TBA 6.00 NFL: A Football Life 7.55 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 TBA 2.00 LIVE T20 Big Bash League Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Close 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 TBA 12.00pm Warren Miller’s Impact 1.30 Barclays Premier League World 2.00 Spanish Football 3.00 Netball 5.00 WWE: Raw 6.00 Ringside 7.00 Barclays Premier League Review 7.30 TBA 9.30 Barclays Premier League Review 10.00 TBA 11.00 Tight Lines 12.00am TBA 2.00 Spanish Football

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

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10.00am NCIS: LA (x4) 2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 4.00 Yonderland 4.30 The Simpsons (x2) 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 Stella 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am A League Of Their Own...Best Of: 1

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes IV: May The Fourth Be With You 7.30 Doctor Who (x2) 9.00 Sherlock 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Live At The Electric 12.15am American Dad! (x2) 1.00 Uncle 1.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents: Thailand 2.30 Live At The Electric

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Proms Chamber Music 8.00 Paul Tortelier At The BBC 9.00 Born To Be Wild: The Golden Age Of American Rock 10.00 Alice Cooper: Brutally Live 11.30 Guitar Heroes At The BBC 12.30am Born To Be Wild: The Golden Age Of American Rock 1.30 Alice Cooper: Brutally Live

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Butterfly Effect (2004) 11.25 Take Me Out 12.35am Two And A Half Men (x2)

12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 The Royal 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Fresh Fields 4.45 Duty Free 5.20 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 William And Mary 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 The Vice 12.10am FILM: In The Name Of The Father (1993)

3.00pm Rude(ish) Tube (x2) 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 FILM: What Happens In Vegas (2008) 11.00 Rude Tube 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

10.00am A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 11.05 FILM: Von Ryan’s Express (1965) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 FILM: The Firm (1993) 12.05am Father Ted (x2)

11.00am When Eight Bells Toll (1971) 12.50pm The Spoilers (1955) 2.30 Bataan (1943) 4.45 Mogambo (1953) 7.00 The Truman Show (1998) 9.00 The Reef (2010) 10.40 Dazed And Confused (1993). See highlights. 12.45am Kaboom (2010) 2.30 Exiles (1961) 4.00 Close

thelatest

.TV

City Of...Business

www.thelatest.tv

An informal, fun and popular networking event with the added bonus of delicious curries at the monthly Brighton Business Curry Club

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025_LS661_TV_sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 09/01/2014 17:08 Page 1

saturday 18 The Voice UK BBC1, 7pm It’s the second round of blind auditions, with coaches Kylie Minogue, Ricky Wilson, Sir Tom Jones and will.i.am each trying to temper their trigger fingers and bag the best of the hopefuls. With no Jessie J climbing her chair in anticipation, who will show thier nerves the most? Obviously the singers will. Duh!

The Jonathan Ross Show ITV1, 9.45pm The eternal teenage fanboy in a good suit, Jonathan Ross has some cracking guests to chat with tonight. Former partner in crime a la Sachsgate Russell Brand turns up, possibly talking about politics and comedy.

Perfect bedmates. Plus presenter darling Dermot O’Leary, and surprise Twitter hit James Blunt.

The Bridge II BBC4, 9pm & 10pm As the investigation grows new leads develop and four people wearing animal masks carry out another attack and post a video of it online, claiming responsibility.

Unusual for crims to ‘fess up.

Saga and Martin are trying to track down a new group planning an attack, and homelife gets difficult for them both.

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Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 The Good Cook 12.00pm Football Focus 12.45 Saturday Sportsday 1.00 BBC News 1.10 South East Today 1.15 Masters Snooker 4.30 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.35 Dynamo: Magician Impossible

6.45am FILM: Sodom And Gomorrah (1962) 9.10 Life On Earth 10.05 Life On Earth 11.00 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 11.30 Great British Railway Journeys 12.00pm The Great Sport Relief Bake Off 1.00 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off 2.00 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 2.45 FILM: Ensign Pulver (1964) 4.30 Masters Snooker

6.15 Reflex Game show hosted by Shane Richie. Two families battle each other in a series of super-fast physical and mental challenges, all captured in state-of-the-art slow motion. The Corrie family from Carlisle battle Blackpool’s Webb family for the £20,000 top prize.

7.00 The Voice UK See highlights.

8.20 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins Nick Knowles hosts the National Lottery quiz where two teams of strangers play against each other to complete a series of lists and win up to £100,000. Includes the live Lottery draws hosted by Gaby Roslin.

9.10 Casualty New doctor Cal goes to the rescue of a girl in a limo hanging precariously off a bridge, while his brother Ethan uncovers the truth about an art student whose sight is endangered by flying glass.

10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of the day’s seven Premier League matches.

Arsenal continued their title push with a London derby against Fulham at the Emirates, while there were also home games for fellow highfliers Liverpool and Manchester City.

11.45 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin presents action from the Football League as Derby County meet another side with promotion ambitions, Brighton.

1.05am Weatherview 1.10 News

6.00 Flog It! Paul Martin and the Flog It team are on the hunt for antiques, this time in the historic Derby. Amongst the many treasures unearthed by experts Philip Serrell and Michael Baggott are an elegant, Derby-made station wall clock, a unique collection of razors, and an immaculate working toy train set.

Paul also gets a taste for a great British icon of design, as he visits the Marmite factory just down the road in Burton-on-Trent.

7.00 Masters Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces live coverage from the Masters semi final, with the first to 6 frames booking their place in the final.

10.30 QI XL Quiz show. Stephen Fry looks at a complete kaleidoscope of K-topics with Liza Tarbuck, Susan Calman, Sandi Toksvig and Alan Davies.

11.15 FILM: Howl (2010) Starring James Franco, Mary-Louise Parker, Todd Rotondi, Jon Prescott, Aaron Tveit, David Strathairn, Jon Hamm, Treat Williams, Bob Balaban, Jeff Daniels and Andrew Rogers. Drama.

When the beat poet Allen Ginsberg published his poem Howl in 1957 America, he was put on trial for obscenity. This film tells his story, and illustrates the poem in animation.

12.35am Masters Snooker – Extra Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from the afternoon’s semi-final.

6.00am Pat & Stan 6.10 Pat & Stan 6.20 Pat & Stan 6.25 Dino Dan 6.40 Dino Dan 6.50 Canimals 7.00 Canimals 7.05 Canimals 7.10 Om Nom Stories 7.15 Sooty 7.25 Om Nom Stories 7.30 Scrambled!

9.25 ITV News 9.30 Dinner Date 10.30 Murder, She Wrote 11.30 ITV News & Weather 11.45 Show Me The Telly 12.45pm Columbo And The Murder Of A Rock Star 2.45 Midsomer Murders 4.45 ITV News Meridian 4.55 ITV News & Weather 5.10 FILM: Despicable Me (2010) 7.00 Splash! Vernon Kay and Gabby Logan present the third heat of the celebrity diving series under the guidance of Olympic medallist Tom Daley. Five more star contestants – MP Penny Mordaunt, musician Paul Young, model Danielle Lloyd, comedian Patrick Monahan and TOWIE star Dan Osbourne – step up to the diving board in a bid to impress the voting public and the judging panel of comedienne Jo Brand and experts Andy Banks and Leon Taylor.

8.30 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness continues the sixth series of the hilarious dating show in which he introduces 30 single girls to a succession of single guys.

Descending in the love lift tonight are PE teacher Ryan from Scunthorpe, farmer James from Inverness, student Travis from Birmingham and Team GB taekwondo athlete Damon.

9.45 The Jonathan Ross Show See highlights.

10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Burn After Reading (2008) Starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton. Comedy drama. A former CIA agent decides to write his memoirs, but his wife copies his work onto a disc which is accidentally left at a health club.

12.45am Jackpot247 3.00 Ladette To Lady Australia 3.45 ITV Nightscreen

6.15am The American Football Show: Road To The Super Bowl 7.05 Trans World Sport 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 How I Met Your Mother 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.55 The Big Bang Theory 11.25 The Simpsons 11.55 The Simpsons 12.25pm The Taste 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.25 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.35 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.05 Channel 4 News 6.30 Speed With Guy Martin Series in which motorcycle racer and lorry mechanic Guy Martin explores the boundaries of speed.

Guy attempts to set the world record for riding a motorcycle on the surface of water. The final record attempt takes place at Bala Lake in Snowdonia with Guy surrounded by an army of rescue teams and emergency divers.

7.30 Britain’s Killer Storms Feature-length drama-documentary telling the story of five major storms that battered the UK throughout 2012. Told by the people who survived them, it combines archive footage with dramatic reconstruction.

9.00 Hostages American drama series about a family caught up in a political conspiracy. Ellen does not obey Duncan, who then threatens to kill a member of her family. Duncan tells the family to lead a normal life until the operation.

10.00 FILM: Knowing (2009) Starring Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne, Nadia Townsend, Chandler Canterbury, Alan Hopgood. Supernatural thriller about an astrophysicist who must prevent a series of major disasters, which he believes has been predicted, from happening.

12.20am FILM: Panic Room (2002) 2.15 Southland 3.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.05 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 8.10am Children’s television 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.40 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Jelly Jamm 9.30 LazyTown 10.00 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 10.10 Power Rangers: Megaforce 10.45 Slugterra 11.10 Access 11.20 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction 12.40pm World’s Worst Holiday Horrors 1.45 Police Interceptors 2.45 FILM: Columbo: Murder Under Glass (1978) 4.10 Diagnosis Murder 5.10 Diagnosis Murder 6.10 Mr And Mrs Murder Australian drama series. The Buchanans sift through the debris after a wild-child designer is murdered on the catwalk.

7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The apparent suicide of a female freshman on a university campus brings Sara back in contact with an old nemesis.

7.45 NCIS Drama series. When a missing lance corporal is found dead in a vacant house, the team discover that his body was buried in the back garden and then exhumed.

8.40 NCIS Drama series. The team investigates the shooting of a marine and the kidnapping of his daughter.

McGee and Tony are stunned by Abby’s Halloween costume.

9.35 5 News Weekend 9.45 Celebrity Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Celebrity Big Brother house.

10.45 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Psych Rylan Clark and Iain Lee present a debate show analysing the behaviour of the housemates.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.05 Baby Face Brides 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.25 Five VOD Make It Big 4.50 Roary The Racing Car 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.10 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

6.00am Football Gold 6.15 Football Gold 6.30 Ringside 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Fantasy Football Club 9.00 Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Championship 2.30 Saturday Team Talk 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.00 LIVE Ford Saturday Night Football 8.00 Saturday Night Football - Game Of The Day 10.00 Saturday Night Football - Match Choice 11.30 Championship 12.00am Saturday Reloaded 1.00 Saturday Night Football - Match Choice 2.30 Saturday Night Football – Match Choice 4.00 Saturday Night Football – Match Choice 5.30 Championship

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Fantasy Football Club 7.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams 7.30 Tight Lines 8.30 Live Big Bash Cricket 12.00pm Ringside 1.00 European Rugby 3.30 European Rugby 5.45 European Rugby 8.30 Sporting Greats 9.00 WWE Late Night Superstars 10.00 WWE NXT 11.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Close 3.00 Live Cricket

Sky Sports 3 9.00am Ringside 10.00 WWE: Smackdown 12.00pm WWE: The Bottom Line 1.00 Big Bash Cricket 4.30 TBA 5.00 Sky Sports Classics 5.15 LIVE Spanish Football 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 TBA 1.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Championship 2.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams 3.00 Spanish Football 4.00 Close

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12.00pm WWE: Superstars 1.00 Futurama (x2) 2.00 Sinbad 3.00 Futurama (x2) 4.00 Kingdom Of Plants With David Attenborough 5.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton 6.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains 6.55 The Simpsons (x2) 7.55 FILM: Jumanji (1995) 10.00 The Kumars 11.00 Road Wars (x2) 1.00am Brit Cops (x2)

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes V: Revenge Of The Fifth 7.15 Top Gear 8.20 FILM: The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe (2005) 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x8) 1.55am Uncle 2.25 Live At The Electric 2.55 Russell Howard’s Good News

7.00pm Wild China 8.00 A Very British Murder With Lucy Worsley 9.00 The Bridge II. See highlights. 10.00 The Bridge II 11.00 Slade At The BBC 12.00am Top Of The Pops: 1979 12.40 Big In America: British Hits In The USA 1.40 Wild China 2.40 A Very British Murder With Lucy Worsley

9.05am Emmerdale Omnibus 12.00pm FILM: Curly Sue (1991) 2.00 FILM: The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants (2005) 4.20 You’ve Been Framed! (x4) 6.50 FILM: The Incredible Hulk (2008) 9.00 FILM: The World Is Not Enough (1999) 11.35 New The Magaluf Weekender 12.35am FILM: Duplicity (2009)

7.05am Rebecca 9.10 A Touch Of Frost 11.25 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.35pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.45 FILM: The Pure Hell Of St Trinian’s (1960) 4.40 Inspector Morse 7.00 Rosemary And Thyme 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.00 Prime Suspect 1.10am Judge Judy (x2)

1.35pm Rude(ish) Tube (x2) 2.30 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.30 FILM: Dragonball Evolution (2009) 5.10 Rude(ish) Tube (x2) 6.05 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 7.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 8.00 The Tomorrow People 9.00 FILM: Top Gun (1986) 11.10 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.10am Rude Tube

4.40pm Location, Location, Location (x2) 6.50 Edward VIII: The Plot To Topple A King 7.55 The Queen’s Mother-in-Law 9.00 Cornwall: Walking Through History 10.00 The Great Train Robbery’s Missing Mastermind? 11.05 Safari, Witchcraft And Murder 12.10am The Queen’s Mother-in-Law

11.00am One Million Years BC (1966) 1.00pm Honey, I Blew Up The Kid (1992) 2.45 Nacho Libre (2006) 4.35 Bugsy Malone (1976) 6.25 Stardust (2007) 9.00 Runaway Jury (2003) 11.30 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) 1.35am Basket Case (1982) 3.35 Close

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026_LS661_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 10/01/2014 12:17 Page 1

sunday 19 The Musketeers BBC1, 9pm There’s always pressure on whatever drama takes up the time slot vacated by the muchloved Sherlock, but this new series based upon the books of Alexandre Dumas appears to have sufficient affection and talent foisted upon it to meet the challenge. Especially with Peter Capaldi as Cardinal Richelieu.

Don’t Look Down Channel 4, 9pm Vicarious thrills from the comfort of your armchair – this documentary looks at the world of urban free climbers.

Originating in Ukraine, but now also popular in the UK, urban free climbing sees young people climbing structures, cranes and buildings without safety equipment. Rather stunning.

FILM: Monsters Vs Aliens BBC3, 8.35pm Round off your weekend with this animated sci-fi silliness. Susan Murphy is unexpectedly hit by a meteorite and covered in space goo, making her grow to over 49 feet tall. Cue the arrival of the military who call her a monster, and clap her in a compound with other ‘monsters’, who may be the Earth’s only hope from invasion.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Sunday Politics 12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 BBC News 1.15 Moving On 2.00 Bargain Hunt 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Lifeline 3.55 Songs Of Praise 4.30 Hidden Kingdoms 5.30 BBC News 5.50 South East Today 6.00 Fake Or Fortune?

Art series with Fiona Bruce and expert Philip Mould. Scriptwriter Keith Tutt gambled his savings on a a large oval picture of a Parisian café scene said to be by the artist Edouard Vuillard, even though it does not appear in the official record of Vuillard’s works. To prove it is a genuine Vuillard, the team will need to convince some of the most demanding art experts in France.

7.00 Countryfile Winter Special 8.00 Call The Midwife Drama based on the memoirs of Jennifer Worth about midwifery and family life in London’s East End during the 1950s.

9.00 The Musketeers See highlights.

10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Match Of The Day 2 Mark Chapman introduces highlights from Manchester United’s trip to Chelsea and Swansea City against Tottenham Hotspur.

11.25 The Revolution Will Be Televised Satirical series featuring bite-sized comedy hits, from fictionalised characters to stunt-led sketches, which brings corruption, greed and hypocrisy to the fore.

11.55 FILM: Shifty (2008) Starring Riz Ahmed, Daniel Mays, Jason Flemyng. Drama.

1.20am Weatherview 1.25 News

6.45am FILM: Blessed (2008) 8.05 Monty Don’s French Gardens 9.05 Countryfile 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites – Sunday Edition 11.30 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off 12.30pm The Great Sport Relief Bake Off 1.30 Masters Snooker 5.15 Ski Sunday

6.00am Pat & Stan 6.10 Pat & Stan 6.20 Pat & Stan 6.25 Dino Dan 6.40 Dino Dan 6.50 Canimals 7.00 Canimals 7.05 Canimals 7.10 Om Nom Stories 7.15 Sooty 7.25 Om Nom Stories 7.30 Scrambled!

9.25 Dickinson’s Real Deal 10.20 Murder, She Wrote 11.20 ITV News & Weather 11.30 Inside The National Trust 12.25pm The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 1.25 Catchphrase 2.10 Splash!

3.40 FILM: Dr No (1962) 5.50 ITV News Meridian 6.00 ITV News; Weather 6.15 Dancing On Ice Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley host the third of this special final series.

7.45 All Star Family Fortunes Actress Lesley Joseph and her family compete against comedian Stephen K Amos’s family as they try to win up to £30,000 for a charity of their choice.

8.30 Dancing On Ice: The Results There is tension on the ice as one couple will be leaving the competition after tonight’s skate off.

9.00 Mr Selfridge The period drama series based on the life of department store founder Harry Selfridge returns.

Five years since the store’s opening, business is booming for Harry and new faces have joined old favourites at Selfridge’s. Rose makes a surprise return home with a mysterious new friend in tow.

10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 Birds Of A Feather Sitcom.

Money and space are still tight and Tracey cannot ignore the fact that Garth and Marcie are not getting any quality time together.

10.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Neil Morrissey Neil Morrissey joins Piers Morgan to look back over his life and career.

11.45 River Monsters 12.10am The Store 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 Snowdon Race 8.00 Will And Grace 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm How I Met Your Mother 1.00 How I Met Your Mother 1.25 The Big Bang Theory 1.55 The Big Bang Theory 2.25 The Big Bang Theory 2.55 The Simpsons 3.25 The Simpsons 3.55 FILM: Honey, I Shrunk The Kids (1989) 5.45 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Little Princess 8.05 Olly The Little White Van 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.40 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Jelly Jamm 9.30 LazyTown 10.00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10.35 Slugterra 11.00 Highland Emergency 11.30 Celebrity Big Brother 12.30pm FILM: The In-Laws (2003) 2.25 FILM: Something’s Gotta Give (2003) 4.55 FILM: Sweet Home Alabama (2002) 7.00 FILM: Legally Blonde (2001) Starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis, Victor Garber. Romantic comedy in which a gorgeous but shallow West Coast girl enrols in a prestigious law school in order to win back her ex.

8.55 5 News Weekend 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Celebrity Big Brother house. Exclusive highlights of all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room.

10.00 FILM: The Lake House (2006) Starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Christopher Plummer, Ebon Moss-Bachrac. Fantasy romance about a relationship that forms between an architect and the doctor who lived in his new lakeside house two years previously.

11.55 Help! I’m 16 But Look 60: Extraordinary People Documentary following Zara Hartshorn from Rotherham in South Yorkshire who is 16 years old, but is often mistaken for a much older woman.

12.55am SuperCasino 3.05 Living With ADHD: Louis Smith 4.00 Wildlife SOS 4.20 Make It Big 4.50 Roary The Racing Car 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.05 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

6.00am Saturday Night Football Match Choice 7.30 Game Changers 8.30 Championship 9.00 Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 7.00 LIVEe Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 TBA 12.00am Spanish Football 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.30 TBA 3.00 Spanish Football 4.00 Ford Football Special 5.30 Close

6.00 Flog It! Members of the public are invited to try to make money out of their antiques by taking a risk at auction.

7.00 Masters Snooker Hazel Irvine presents live coverage of the 2014 Masters final, where a maximum of 11 frames will decide who will become 2014 Masters Champion and the winner of the £200,000 first prize.

What would you spend it on?

11.00 FILM: A Serious Man (2009) Starring Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Fred Melamed, Sari Wagner Lennick, Aaron Wolff, Simon Helberg, Adam Arkin, Amy Landecker, Jessica McManus and Peter Breitmayer. Dark comedy from the Coen brothers.

Jewish college professor Larry Gopnik lives a quiet suburban life with his wife and two teenage children in the American Midwest. But everything begins to unravel when his wife says she has decided to leave him. Larry finds himself in a spiral of frustration and disaster, not helped by a student trying to bribe him, a racist neighbour to one side and the seductive Mrs Samsky to the other. The Rabbi is always too busy to talk to Larry and his brother is locked permanently in Larry’s bathroom.

12.40am Sign Zone: Countryfile In Surrey, John Craven explores countryside loved by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

1.35 Sign Zone: Holby City

6.40 Channel 4 News 7.00 Jamie And Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast Cookery series presented by Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty from their cafe at the end of Southend pier. Sienna Miller gets saucy with her Tuscan duck ragu.

8.00 Speed With Guy Martin Series in which motorcycle racer and lorry mechanic Guy Martin explores the boundaries of speed. This time, Guy sets out to break the record for the world’s fastest gravity powered sled. With the help of top sports science engineers, athletes and experts in composite engineering.

9.00 Don’t Look Down See highlights.

10.00 FILM: Haywire (2011) Starring Gina Carano, Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor, Bill Paxton, Channing Tatum, Antonio Banderas.

Action thriller about a female agent who specialises in the sort of black operations that governments cannot be seen to authorise.

11.45 FILM: Domino (2005) Starring Keira Knightley, Mickey Rourke, Edgar Ramirez, Mena Suvari, Delroy Lindo.

Fact-based drama about the daughter of Hollywood actor Laurence Harvey, who gave up her glitzy Beverly Hills lifestyle to become a bounty hunter.

1.55am Southland 2.40 FILM: Internal Affairs (1990) 4.30 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 5.25 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.30 Deal Or No Deal

Sky Sports 2 8.00am LIVE Cricket 12.00pm LIVE European Rugby 2.45 LIVE European Rugby 6.30 NFL: A Football Life 7.30 LIVE NFL 11.00 LIVE NFL 2.30am NFL: A Football Life 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Spanish Football 7.00 TBA 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE Vintage 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 TBA 12.00pm Sporting Greats 12.30 TBA 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE: Experience 6.00 Sporting Greats 6.30 TBA 8.00 European Rugby Special 9.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage 11.00 This Week In WWE 11.30 TBA 12.30am European Rugby Special 1.30 TBA 3.00 Tour Down Under 4.00 TBA 5.00 Tour Down Under

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3.05pm Kingdom Of Plants With David Attenborough 4.00 Oscar Nominations Show 4.30 The Simpsons 5.00 Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance 6.00 Jordan And Perri’s Ultimate Block Party 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Banshee 12.00am The Wolf Of Wall Street Special

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes V 7.15 The Voice UK 8.35 FILM: Monsters vs Aliens (2009). See highlights. 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Uncle 11.15 American Dad! (x2) 12.00am Bad Education 12.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.30 Underage And Over The Limit 2.30 Uncle

7.00pm The Man Who Discovered Egypt 8.00 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses 9.00 FILM: Point Blank (1967) 10.30 Me And Me Dad: A Portrait Of John Boorman 11.20 Nelson’s Caribbean Hell-hole 12.20am The Man Who Discovered Egypt 1.20 Born To Be Wild

2.10pm You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Holidays 3.10 FILM: Free Willy (1993) 5.30 FILM: The Perfect Storm (2000) 8.00 You’ve Been Framed And Famous! 9.00 The Magaluf Weekender 10.00 FILM: The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) 12.10am FILM: Harold And Kumar Get The Munchies (2004)

7.30am FILM: The Pure Hell Of St Trinian’s (1960) 9.25 Heartbeat 10.25 Heartbeat 11.25 Rosemary And Thyme 12.25pm Inspector Morse 2.45 Columbo: Negative Reaction 4.40 Agatha Christie’s Marple 6.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 FILM: Ray (2004) 12.05am Cracker 1.05 FILM: Till Death Us Do Part (1968)

3.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 4.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. 5.00 The Tomorrow People 6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 8.00 FILM: Big Momma’s House (2000) 10.00 Rude Tube 11.00 The Big Bang Theory 11.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 12.30am My Mad Fat Diary

11.05am Help! My House Is Falling Down 12.05pm Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (x5) 2.40 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.20 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 9.00 Kevin McCloud’s Man Made Home 10.00 Father Ted (x2) 11.05 Shameless USA 12.20am Nashville 1.20 Obsessive Cleaners

11.00am Above Us The Waves (1956) 1.00pm New In Town (2009) 3.00 The Producers (1968) 4.45 The Jewel Of The Nile (1985) 6.50 Step Up 3 (2010) 9.00 The Sentinel (2006) 11.10 MacGruber (2010) 12.50am The Last Temptation Of Christ (1988) 4.00 Close

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City Of...Caring

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An insight into the work of The Martlets Hospice and how it serves everyone in the local community

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027_LS661_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 10/01/2014 12:18 Page 1

monday 20 Are You Addicted To Sugar?: Dispatches Channel 4, 8pm In light of so many of us setting new year’s resolutions to eat more healthily and cut back on sugar, this takes a look at how much hidden sugar there is in our diets. Looking at how it effects the brain, and the companies that have a vested interest in keeping us buzzing on the sweet stuff.

Helix Channel Five, 10pm A new sci fi drama about a group of medical research scientists who battle to contain a virus that could threaten the continuation of mankind as a species. So no big jeopardy there, then. This opener sees Dr Alan Farragut and his team travel to the top secret Arctic Biosystems to investigate a possible disease outbreak.

Uncle BBC3, 10pm This brand new sitcom starring Nick Helm as the immature titular uncle to sensible 12-year-old Errol started last week, and this episode doesn’t see Helm’s Andy growing up any more than before.

His ex is moving on, he gets bullied at a kid’s birthday party – and Errol isn’t having much of a better time of it. Family, eh?

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

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ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.40 Doctors 2.10 Father Brown 3.00 Perfection 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming 7.50 Real Lives Reunited 8.20 Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds 9.05 Britain And The Sea 10.05 Britain’s Empty Homes 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Bowls: World Championships 5.15 Flog It!

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out A look at a decade of Polish immigration to Kent and Sussex as the border opens for Romanians and Bulgarians to live and work in the UK. 8.00 EastEnders Max is livid, but will his actions expose Jake’s lies?

8.30 Police: Shooting To Kill? – Panorama Reporter Alistair Jackson investigates the tactics of the country’s police firearms units. A real hot potato in the current climate.

9.00 New Tricks Drama. When the gun used to murder a talented young boxer 15 years ago surfaces in an armed robbery, UCOS are drawn into the darker side of professional boxing in a case that causes conflict and friction among the team.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Have I Got Old News For You Extended version of the popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Brian Blessed and guest panellists Bridget Christie and Ken Livingstone.

11.20 Who Do You Think You Are? USA Singer-songwriter Kelly Clarkson discovers an ancestor with deep roots in America history.

12.05am The Graham Norton Show 12.50 Weatherview 12.55 News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Assisted by his Bradshaw’s guide, Michael Portillo embarks on a new journey from Southampton to Wolverhampton.

7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge Architectural historian Tom Dyckhoff presents the series searching for untapped interior design talent, judged by interior designers Sophie Robinson and Daniel Hopwood.

8.00 University Challenge The quarter-finals continue as two teams of students do battle to reach the next stage in the competition.

8.30 Winterwatch Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Martin Hughes-Games are back with the best UK wildlife stories as they broadcast live from their new base in the Cairngorm Mountains.

9.30 Russia On Four Wheels Russian motor vehicles, we presume.

Although the Russian State Circus is very good and could probably offer many other alternatives.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Operation Grand Canyon With Dan Snow 12.20am Bowls: World Championships 1.20 Sign Zone: Trust Me, I’m A Doctor 4.00 Strictly Soulmates 4.30 Divine Women 5.00 True Stories

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sam rages against Charity and Declan.

7.30 Coronation Street Can a tortured Roy persuade Hayley to change her mind?

8.00 A Great Welsh Adventure With Griff Rhys Jones In this episode, Griff discovers that his challenge is to walk a Pembrokeshire corgi which he finds in an abandoned garage – but this one has never worn a collar before.

8.30 Coronation Street Having said her goodbyes, Hayley slips away with Roy at her side.

9.00 The Bletchley Circle Drama.

Millie has been kidnapped and it seems as if it could be connected to her recent black market dealings.

Worried about her friend, but not wanting to incriminate her by contacting the police, Alice asks the other women to help find her. But when they start searching for Millie’s business associate Jasper, it becomes clear that Millie has become embroiled in a very dangerous world.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Accepted (2006) Starring Justin Long, Jonah Hill, Blake Lively. Teen comedy.

12.20am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.25am Countdown 7.10 Will And Grace 7.35 Will And Grace 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Secret Millionaire Australia 11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Come Dine With Me 12.35 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.35 Come Dine With Me 2.10 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Will Freddie reveal the heart-breaking truth?

7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Are You Addicted To Sugar?: Dispatches See highlights.

8.30 Food Unwrapped Jimmy looks at the microorganism which causes a rind to form on mature cheese, while Matt learns about the dangers of reheating rice at home.

9.00 Benefits Street Observational documentary series revealing the reality of life on benefits, as the residents of one of Britain’s most welfare-dependent streets invite cameras into their community.

10.00 My Baggy Body Showcase of bold and original documentaries.

People who set out to lose dramatic amounts of weight often feel that it will solve all their problems, but this examines what happens when individuals are left with a large amount of excess skin and the effect this has upon their self-confidence.

11.00 American Football Show – Road To The Super Bowl Highlights from the weekend’s Conference Championship games.

12.00am Random Acts 12.05 Speed With Guy Martin 1.00 Hostages 1.55 World Without End 2.50 Coming Up 3.20 Dave: Loan Ranger 4.15 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 5.10 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 5.30 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Gibraltar: Britain In The Sun 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Family Gathering (2010) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The search is on for Josh, who has a bad infection and could die if he is not found.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge Documentary series.

Robson explores the coastlines of the United Arab Emirates and Oman.

Beside the region’s giant oil rigs, Robson tries to catch the highly prized king mackerel.

8.00 Go Hard Or Go Home Adventure challenge series in which transatlantic yachtswoman Hannah White prepares ordinary members of the public for extreme endurance races. Hannah attempts to get the cake bakers and jam makers of the Women’s Institute through a gruelling 70-mile triathlon.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Celebrity Big Brother house.

Exclusive highlights of all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room.

10.00 Helix See highlights.

11.50 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis presents a round-up of Celebrity Big Brother-related news and debate.

12.50am Campus PD 1.10 SuperCasino 3.05 Autopsy: Whitney Houston’s Last Hours 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 TBA 11.00 Spanish Football 12.00pm TBA 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.30 Spanish Football 3.30 TBA 4.00 Game Changers 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 FL72 Review 7.00 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 11.00 FL72 Review 12.00am SPFL Round-Up 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 SPFL Round-Up 2.00 Live Tour Down Under 4.00 FL72 Review 5.00 SPFL Round-Up 5.30 Football League Gold 5.45 Football Gold

Sky Sports 2 6.00am SPFL Round-Up 6.30 Ford Football Special 8.00 NFL 9.00 NFL 10.00 TBA 11.00 Tour Down Under 2014 12.00pm NFL 1.00 NFL 2.00 SPFL Round-Up 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 European Rugby Special 8.00 NFL 9.00 NFL 10.00 Tour Down Under 2014 11.00 NFL 12.00am NFL 1.00 Ford Monday Night Football 3.30 TBA 4.00 NFL 5.00 NFL

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football Gold 6.15 Football Gold 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 Tour Down Under 9.00 European Rugby Special 10.00 TBA 11.00 Racing News 11.30 TBA 12.00pm European Rugby Special 1.00 Tour Down Under 2.00 TBA 3.00 NFL 4.00 NFL 5.00 Premier League Years 7.00 Tour Down Under 8.00 TBA 10.30 This Week In WWE 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 TBA 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Close

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BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

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9.00am Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA (x4) 2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 A League Of Their Own 3.30 Futurama (x2) 4.30 The Simpsons (x2) 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Mad Dogs 10.00 Banshee 11.00 Spartacus: Vengeance (x2) 1.30am Nothing To Declare

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents: Thailand 10.00 Uncle. See highlights. 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Uncle 1.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents: Thailand

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Elephant Diaries 8.00 King Alfred And The Anglo Saxons 9.00 FILM: Project Nim (2011) 10.35 Big Brother Watching Me: Citizen Ai Weiwei – Storyville 11.50 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses 12.50am King Alfred And The Anglo Saxons

4.10pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Mom 9.30 Mom 10.00 The Job Lot 10.30 Plebs 11.00 New Fake Reaction 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.45am Take Me Out

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 The Royal 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Fresh Fields 4.45 Duty Free 5.15 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Long Lost Family 10.00 Trial And Retribution 11.00 The Vice 12.15am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.15 The Blackheath Poisonings

4.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 Revenge 10.00 What Happens In Kavos 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am The Tomorrow People

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 Location, Location, Location 5.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 10.00 999: What’s Your Emergency? 11.10 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Nashville

11.00am Singin’ In The Rain (1952) 1.05pm Carry On Nurse (1959) 2.50 The Nutty Professor (1963) 4.55 I Wanna Hold Your Hand (1978) 6.50 Flash Gordon (1980) 9.00 Kick-Ass (2010) 11.20 Potiche (2009) 1.25am Wedding Crashers (2005) 3.50 Close

THE LATEST TV CHANNEL from Brighton with love

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