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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove Pantomimes & Christmas shows

★ jobs ★ food ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★

Take a look at what’s on stage this Christmas, from the traditional panto to festive shows with a difference. Starts page 13

22 – 28 October 2013


Madness Madhouse Pop on your Baggy Trousers and get Driving In My Car to see Our House at the Theatre Royal Brighton page 11

ASA BUTTERFIELD The Ender’s Game star on Harrison Ford, Star Wars & The Matrix OUT OF THE SHADOW The award-winning dance show comes to Brighton Dome THE PRELOVED DESIGNER SALE Make cash from your closet

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22–28 OCTOBER 2013


Online now: Celebrity interviews, local news headlines, giveaways and more – updated daily Attention musicians! Upload your tracks and let the world listen to your music!

06 Latest Brighton & Hove News The City Plan: coping with the housing demand 08 Brighton Writes Lynn Ruth finds the easiest car to park in the world; Vanessa on Curve Couture

All the latest homes are on

09 Celeb City Banksy, Peter Andre, and Miley Cyrus’ biggest fan 10 Andrew Kay The Oska Bright Film Festival

Latest TV News Latest TV is coming to Channel 8, launching in Brighton early 2014! Here we take a first look at the latest TV newsroom, with the local news read by Jenni Davidson. TV for Brighton, made in Brighton. Spread the word!

With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website

10 Competitions Win Love, Marilyn on DVD new Now CDs 25 Bare Cheek Hove facts and what’s (not) on

LIFESTYLE 04 Latest People Art at Five special plus recent events and openings 05 Preloved Designer Fair Make cash from your closet

For details of advertising opportunities with please contact the advertising team on 01273 818150

11 On the cover: Theatre Royal Brighton Olivier award-winning musical Our House comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton

12 Interview Ender’s Game actor Asa Butterfield on A-Levels, Star Wars and Harrison Ford


13 Christmas shows & pantos Special bumper guide to the best Christmas shows 26 Hotlist Hungry? Indian, Chinese, Italian and more 27 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Andrew dines at London’s Verru





Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless Creative Director Andrew Kay


Art Director Stephen King Latest Homes Advertising Manager Lesley Lawrence Latest 7 Advertising Manager Rachel Simm

29 What’s On Joe Pasquale interview; Steve mason; Micky Flanagan


Forget-Me-Not Wears the Trousers International cabaret artiste Forget-Me-Not, aka Sharon Elizabeth performs risqué and banned songs from the ‘20s and ‘30s. Wedensday 23 October, 7.30pm, £10/£8 Latest Group

28 Reviews & Bookings; Latest Download Chart The Lumberjacks; Brighton Acoustic Guitar Festival

Latest 7/Homes Editor Zara Baker Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Jason Weaver Reviews Co-ordinator Joe Fuller

Hawklords Born in 1978, out of the ashes of the Sonic Assassins, Hawklords was the brainchild of the late, great Robert Calvert. Tuesday 29 October, 8pm, £10 Staff writers Sade Ali Vanessa Austin Locke Mark Brailsford Jo Brooks Holly Cozens David Hillier Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller Alastair Reid

Latest News Frank le Duc Jenni Davidson Jay Legate (Sport)

Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Latest TV

William Ranieri Yuki Stephenson

Latest MusicBar Ruth Ratner James Charter Stella Pitt Ali Cluney-Hickford Steve Parfrement

Val Aviv David Cuff Andy Nicholls

From gadgets & toys to food hampers & beauty gifts

Christmas Gift Guides

32 Brighton After Dark A Supercharged Halloween, Oxjam and more 34 TV listings; Stars Ambassadors; seven day TV listings

Editorial: Advertising:

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

To advertise call 01273 818150 To promote your business in our special series of Christmas gift guides, starting 12 November

Call Rachel on 01273 818150 Ext: 105

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latestPEOPLE Latest TV at the Brighton Business Curry Club Tuesday 8 October saw Latest TV join forces with one of Brighton’s most popular networking events, the ‘Brighton Business Curry Club’ as over 110 businesses gathered together to talk about the exciting launch of Latest TV in 2014. With a pint on arrival and a delicious sit down buffet curry, there was great vibe on the night as the Sussex County Cricket Ground hosted this

Brighton Business Curry Club, Student Lock In at Churchill Square, Tabata training & beach volleyball

regular monthly get together and businesses learned of the benefits and opportunities in working alongside Latest TV. The Brighton Business Curry Club is always hosted on the second Tuesday of the month. If you want to enjoy a Networking event with spice then then preregister for their next event which takes place on Tuesday 12 November. Latest TV will be at the Christmas special Curry Club on Tuesday 10 December. Photos:

Tabata at Active4Less

Tabata, the hot new trend in fitness training, has been launched at Active4Less, Hove. The official Tabata workout is available as both group exercise classes and small group training sessions. Tabata is becoming a popular form of High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) amongst both professional athletes and enthusiastic amateurs. The popularity of Tabata and the growing global ‘buzz’ surrounding it are centered on the amazing fitness results that the system is achieving for its devotees via intense sessions that are incredibly only four minutes in duration. Tabata offers fitness enthusiasts the ultimate, faster workout. For the launch, Tabata Active4Less, Hove instructors led the 20 minute classes that feature dynamic new body weight moves that have a heartpumping effect at their core, and which aim to get participants up to their maximum heart rate over the crucial four-minute tabata™ section. Each 20 minute class also includes a mobilisation, warm up and cool down routines.

Rachel Simm, Latest 7

Bill Smith (Latest 7 and guest)

Bill Smith, MD, Latest TV/Latest 7

Student Lock In at Churchill Square Churchill Square Shopping Centre opened its doors exclusively to students on Wednesday 9 October for the 2013 Student Lock In. Thousands of students from across the Brighton’s colleges and universities flocked to Churchill Square for the event, with huge queues forming outside ahead of the 6.30pm kick off. Made In Chelsea's Jamie Laing and Burberry model Jesse Burgess were also at the LockIn – Jamie representing his confectionary and clothing brand Candy Kittens. With DJs from Concorde 2 and Audio, free drinks, giveaways, a Black Jack table, photo booth and most importantly fantastic student discounts, there was plenty on offer to keep everyone entertained. Tina Dallorzo, Centre Director at Churchill Square said: “The Lock-In was a fantastic success. The atmosphere was great and everyone really enjoyed themselves.”

Brighton hosts Lucky Lotto Beach Volleyball A Lotto winner from Lewes and a bevy of Brighton volleyball players descended on the city’s beach for a unique game of beach volleyball to celebrate the launch of new bigger Lotto. The volleyball players from the University of Brighton, who have all

been introduced to the sport through the Lottery funded Parklife Project, used a giant Lotto ball for this celebratory game at Brighton’s very own beach sport venue, Yellowave. .

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DESIGNER SALE RETURNS The Preloved Designer Sale returns, giving you the chance to buy designer items or make cash from your closet


he Preloved Designer Sale is back this November for a massive preloved pre Christmas extravaganza. The hugely popular sale comes to Brighton just a handful of times a year and is a must for any Brighton fashionista. A one Christian Louboutin shoes off event where you can buy and sell designer womenswear, it gives you the chance to not only bag yourself a bargain but also make some cash from your closet. Do you have clothes sat in your wardrobe that you just don’t wear? Maybe they’ve even still got the tags on or you literally wore it once for a special event? Perhaps it’s an impulse buy dress, a pair of shoes that don’t fit, or a coat you love but just don’t suit. The Preloved Designer Sale is one of the simplest and quickest ways to sell your preloved pieces. Just drop your clothes off the week before the sale and the following week you get your cash. Easy, hassle free and a super quick turnaround. Katie Carne, organiser of the sales says: “I love the idea of recycling pieces. Virtually every woman has

items sitting in their wardrobe they don’t wear and it seems such a waste. Let’s face it, if you haven’t worn it for a year you probably aren’t going to. This way you can make some cash, we can find them a new home and you can use the money to go buy an item you really want. In previous years many clients have made hundreds, some thousands of pounds in just one weekend.” The team is currently taking autumn/winter pieces including everything from tops, dresses, coats to shoes, boots, bags and accessories. The sale prides itself on handpicking good quality pieces and take high end high street to designer, so think All Saints to Alexander McQueen, Whistles to Westwood. And if you fancy grabbing yourself a bargain Chanel or a pair of Christian Louboutins at a fraction of the original price, don’t miss the big weekend sale. There’s over a thousand pieces per sale, up to 70-90% off and prices start at just five pounds. Whistles coat The Preloved Designer Sale is at

Vivienne Westwood scarf

the Thistle Hotel Brighton on Friday 1 November, 6pm–9pm; Saturday 2 November 10am–6pm; Sunday 3 November 11am–5pm. To sell clothes drop off at The Thistle from Monday 28 October–Thursday 31 October 10am–5pm with a late night collection on Wednesday 30 October 10am–7.30pm. For more info visit

From left to right 1930’s dress, David Szeto at Libertys top and Marc Jacobs jumpsuit

Artist Lisa Ridgers and gallery owner Paola Calise

Artists Tina Davies and Louise Brooks

Owner Paola Calise with her artists

Clare McCormick, Elisha Kyne and Mellisa Luckhurst (Art at Five)

Oliver de Trafford from Moksha, gallery owner Paola Calise and Ali Feest from Barefoot Wines

Gallery owner Paola Calise, Bill Smith of Latest TV and artist Natasha Barnes

The amazing Choccywoccyddoodah cake

Art at Five On a wet and windy Friday night, Brighton’s most successful contemporary art gallery, Art at Five, hosted a 10th birthday party and private view. With delicious canapés courtesy of Moksha caffe, wine from Barefoot wines and a fantastic Choccywoccydoodah birthday cake, the gallery was packed to the rafters with the great and good of Brighton’s art world, friends and family. To mark the occasion, gallery owner Paola Calise devised the idea of a charity art raffle called ‘Ten for 10’. Ten of the galleries artists donated beautiful paintings to be raffled off with all proceeds going to Brighton water aid charity drop4drop. As guests enjoyed the art and the refreshments, Paola thanked everyone for helping make the evening a success, also revealing a brand new identity for the gallery, now named Art 5 gallery, to take her into the next 10 years! Pics: Adam Bronkhurst and Diana Frangi

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latest brighton & hove news

Cunning plan? It’ll have to be Brighton and Hove needs up to 20,000 new homes but where will they go? The City Plan has the answer. Not everyone will like it. Frank le Duc reports


n inspector calls today (Tuesday 22). Planning inspector Laura Graham is due in Brighton to start looking at the City Plan to test whether it’s sound. This looks likely to boil down to a question of whether Brighton and Hove City Council intends to build enough houses and flats over the next 17 years. What counts as enough is a matter of some debate and the government has a view on the matter but not everyone will agree with it or like it. Depending on the planning inspector’s verdict, the City Plan could allow for about 2,000 new homes in multi-storey blocks at Brighton Marina. Among the other sites each with hundreds of new homes in the pipeline are Preston Barracks, Shoreham Harbour, Hove Station and Toads Hole Valley. The inspector is not looking at detailed designs. Those will come later, if and when specific planning applications are submitted. Local planning officials and councillors will continue to decide individual planning applications. Their decisions, though, will be guided by the City Plan. And at this stage it seems safe to say that it points towards a growing number of


esidents, community groups and campaigners came together recently to celebrate the launch of the new Lewes Road scheme. Before the changes, the majority of those using the road were travelling by bus, bike or foot. However the road didn’t help these thousands of residents travel smoothly, and in many cases not very safely either.

BALANCE Councillor Phélim Mac Cafferty, chairman of the council’s Planning

Many city businesses and organisations are on this vital route, including our football club and two universities. Most of them are growing, the only way they can get growing numbers of staff, visitors, students and fans up and down the route is by sustainable transport. So we’ve just finished part of a scheme to help the majority who travel on the Lewes Road by bus, bike or on foot get about quicker and more safely. The majority of the cost of the scheme was awarded to us from the government’s Local Sustainable Transport Fund, which is aimed at creating growth and reducing carbon emissions.

the big issue Committee, said: “We must achieve a balance between providing desperately needed new homes and the right amount of space for jobs, while protecting our rich heritage of buildings and open spaces from inappropriate development.” He said that the 11,300 homes being proposed would make the best use of available land with “94 per cent of it on brownfield sites”. He said that the number of new homes was “the highest we can go before we see a significant loss of employment sites and important open spaces”. He said that he did not want housing to replace so many shops, offices, warehouses

and factories that Brighton and Hove lacked jobs and became a dormitory town for commuters to Gatwick and London. Much of the new housing will be concentrated in eight named areas: • Lewes Road including Preston Barracks and the old Falmer High School site • Brighton Marina, the gas works and Black Rock area • New England Quarter and London Road area including Preston Road • Eastern Road and Edward Street area • Hove Station area • Toads Hole Valley • Shoreham Harbour • King Alfred site

While there will be some initial disruption now that much of the scheme is in place, the better reliability of buses and increased safety of other modes of transport

will mean that more residents will be able to choose them to get to work, school or town rather than car. This will reduce congestion and improve air quality on the road. The scheme is similar to the one introduced on the A259 coastal road a few years ago, which has seen a reduction in general traffic of around 10%, and an increase in bus patronage of approximately 25%. The Lewes Road is one of the major schemes that will make our streets safer for everyone, and help our city continue to grow for years to come.

Photograph: Peter Tierney

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on the Lewes Road scheme

taller buildings. The council hopes to keep these confined to a limited number of places, such as the Marina and the New England Quarter and London Road. Not every developer sees things the same way. The inspector has written to the council setting out some of the matters that will help her to decide whether the City Plan is sound. She said: “Is the range of 16,000 to 20,000 an accurate reflection of the full, objectively assessed need for housing? If so, the City Plan’s housing target of 11,300 new homes, albeit expressed as a minimum, is a significant shortfall against assessed need.” If meeting this need would do more harm than good in a town with beautiful Regency squares and terraces and a thriving tourist trade, the housing shortfall may be justifiable. The inspector has questioned the protection being given to green land on the edge of town – or “urban fringe” sites. The council hopes that offering up Toads Hole Valley in Hove for at least 700 homes will be enough.

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LATEST NEWS 07 Photograph: Tom Scrace

Marina Life Kirsty Pollard invites you to enjoy half-term with great savings

A clarion call


“How do we deal with the rise in housing demand over the next 17 years?” The planning inspector has also written to the council to ask whether it has given enough thought to the need for “infrastructure requirements”. She is not the first to touch on a subject that covers the debate about school places in parts of Brighton and Hove or whether there are enough doctors’ or dentists’ surgeries. She also asked: “Do the City Plan’s policies and proposals adequately address the needs of all employment-generating sectors of the economy? Is there appropriate flexibility in the policies and proposals? Is the protection of the specified primary industrial estates and business parks fully justified? Is it reasonable to require no net loss of employment floor space in mixed-use developments?” CHALLENGE Councillor Mac Cafferty said: “The law requires that the plan has to start with the premise that we’re going to develop and we’re in favour of sustainable development. It also has to answer questions like: ‘How do we deal with the rise in housing demand over the next 17 years? How do we make sure we can provide space to create jobs for the people who live here? And enough places in schools? It’s a fine balance.’” Representatives of the three political parties on the council – the Greens, Conservatives and Labour – found a great deal of common ground as the plan was prepared. Councillor Mac Cafferty said: “The only area of real difference was housing. We all want inward investment and the

growth of the local economy.” But the City Plan does face a challenge from more than one direction. About a dozen organisations have submitted criticisms of the plan. They are likely to take part in the examination in public which starts at the Brighthelm Centre in North Road, Brighton, on Tuesday 22 October. Many of their objections to the plan are focused on sites that they own or in which they have an interest. Some want greater density or height enshrined in the plan so that they can build more homes on their plots. Some are concerned about the high environmental standards being required for new buildings in Brighton and Hove. Meeting these standards, they say, adds to their costs and could mean that it is no longer viable to invest in housing projects locally. The council has commissioned a report making its case. Unsurprisingly, with a Green administration, it has been keen to achieve the highest levels of sustainability. Some people will use the City Plan to guide their ambitions to build homes, shops or offices. Some will use it to help them frame objections to new proposals. And others will engage when officials consult the public and professionals about the City Plan Part Two, which has more detail about specific sites. If it’s to turn out all right, then we shouldn’t need an inspector to call to appreciate that we are all responsible one way or another. The examination in public is expected to be completed on or by Friday 25 October. ■

ouncillor Phélim Mac Cafferty has written the foreword to the City Plan which sets out what sort of buildings will be permitted where between now and 2030. He wrote: “The plan is as ambitious as it is robust and practical. “Despite the difficult economic circumstances we currently face, the plan is a clarion call for the resilience of the local economy. It sets out a clear framework for future prosperity for our city’s communities, and endorses our optimism about securing jobs, training and apprenticeships while underlining our continued support for home-grown business in sectors such as the creative, digital and IT industries. “Sustainability principles are integrated throughout the plan. As a strategic document, it affords us many opportunities for carbon reduction as we look confidently to the future with policies that reflect our respect for our planet and its resources. We aspire to high-quality modern design and thoroughly fundamentally sustainable building practices. “Our city’s motto describing the relationship with the natural environment around us is particularly apt: ‘Between the Downs and the sea we flourish.’ And through the life of the plan we can continue to flourish between the Downs and the sea if we understand our symbiotic relationship with our planet. “Talking to residents, businesses and our many communities across the city has highlighted the many challenges that lie ahead. This vital input has helped to shape and improve the City Plan. “Our focus now must be on achieving a balance between providing desperately needed new homes and the right amount of space for jobs while protecting our rich heritage of buildings and open spaces from inappropriate development. “Our hope for this city, our responsibility for its future prosperity and our ambition to sustain its unique, finite environment drives us to prepare a plan which I strongly believe will carry us on a safe journey to 2030.”

pply for the advantage card ready for the half term holiday and take advantage of the all year round deals. The 2013 Gold Advantage card is free of charge and available online. The card boasts a great range of money-saving deals, available at 40 participating shops, restaurants, leisure venues and services on the dry and wet sides of the Marina. This is a must-have discount card! The Marina is a great place to hang out as, not only is there plenty to do, see and buy, we have lots to do that’s completely free, including customer parking.


This half term Cineworld is showing some great family movies, while Bowlplex is a great indoor venue to keep the kids entertained with great offers. Once bowled out make your way over to the Sega Active & Sega Prize Zone arcades. If it’s time for the great outdoors, you can try your luck on our free ping-pong tables supplied with equipment or play Chess on the new concrete chess tables located in Marina Square. Bring your own chess or draughts sets or you can hire these from Coco’s store open 10am–6pm daily. Fancy a go at crazy golf? Head over to Pirates Cove pitch and putt at Park Square. Here there are also trampolines and small children’s rides. Fancy getting wet? Learn to scuba dive with Brighton Dive Centre or sail with Lagoon Watersports. A great excursion for less than a £10 is the Watertours pleasure boat trips, a great way to explore the city’s sights and sounds whilst out at sea. Fishing trips are available from as little as £8.50 with Ross’s boats – if you fancy something more powerful, take a ride on the powerboats. And that’s just a few of the options we have at the Marina. Visit to get your free 2013 Gold Advantage Card today.


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08 BRIGHTON WRITES Head shot Courtesy Jerry Lebens

Lynn Ruth Miller

Vanessa Austin Locke

Park & fold: the Armadillo-T




The way humans hunt for parking And the way animals hunt for food Are not as different as you might think. – Tom Vanderbilt

first met Chrissie of Curve Couture when I modelled for her at Brighton Fashion Week, back when Brighton Fashion Week was just one show called Brighton Frocks. So this year I was thrilled to see that Chrissie was showcasing on the enormous runway at St Bartholomew’s for BFW 2013. The designers showcased were a mixed bag, and I wasn’t necessarily impressed with everything I saw. But I noticed that Curve Couture had caught, not only my attention, but the entire crowd. Corsetry is such a striking statement that it generally turns heads whether it’s good or bad. However, there’s a gaze that is drawn from excellent corsetry that you simply don’t get from every flimsy, plastic-boned ‘corset’ that you pick up on the high street, that will lose its shape after two outings and really shouldn’t be allowed to call itself a corset because it is, in fact, a basque. The name of the new collection is Countryphile, and since I have now returned to my roots and am myself a countryphile once again, I can fully appreciate the romance and seductive eccentricities of the English countryside and those who ride it. Bareback. Naked. In the rain. In Hunter wellies. With a flask of damson gin. I’m sorry, where were we? These corsets take a traditional Edwardian cut in lace and leather (my favourite combination), and combine it with sharp tailoring reminiscent of Hermes fall 2004, if somewhat saucier. But if you’re thinking that a corset is just for the female form, think again. Chrissie presented two male models in corsets, which drew a communal exclamation from the crowd. Far from looking camp or feminine, these boys projected steely, hard power and an appealing, erotic confidence that dismissed any questions of sexuality, whilst retaining it entirely. Chrissie explains that, “when you wear a corset you feel like you’re wearing armour.” And it was an armoured impression that I drew from the young models, both male and female, before me. I find myself in my element at present. Autumn in the English countryside is my natural habitat. The melting, weakening sunlight takes on a dozy glow at this time of year. Wriggling things burrow into warm, damp earth that gives off a nostalgic fragrance so rich and natural, whilst being entirely fresh. Tweed and leather both have their own scent – wool, horses, wood smoke – that ferments with the rotting forest floor, and we wrap up warm. We armour ourselves. We strap ourselves in to keep from crumbling into the decay and sleeping there ‘til spring. To this armour, these straps, we add a touch of lace, or silk, or velvet; a nod to the richness of the season, and the beauty we “Corsetry is such can bring to the bleakest winter days. And as the a striking statement countryside gives itself back to itself, we can feel that it generally turns peaceful in the knowledge heads whether it’s that none of its bounty will be wasted, but rather slip good or bad” back into the earth, to return next year. Curve Couture’s Countryphile collection embodies this essence in my mind, and that’s what I love about style; when you can express the complexity, whimsy, sensuality and idiosyncrasies of a thing like the English countryside in autumn, in something as simple as what you wear, you can live stories. I’m delighted to see this artist’s work reach new standards of excellence. This latest collection, in my humble opinion, makes Curve Couture the South East’s top corset designer-maker.

Follow me: @vnessenvy

Pic: Gareth Gregg

thought when I learned how to manipulate a car in busy traffic without killing my passengers or myself, I had mastered the art of driving. Little did I know that the biggest challenge and the worst nightmare of driving life is finding a place to park the car. The problem is not just finding a space; it is getting the car into it. The first time I attempted to parallel park, I managed to smash eight fenders in less than three minutes: all four on my car, two on the car in front and two on the car behind. It is not just that I have no spatial judgment; it is that there isn’t enough space on a city street for all the cars that want to park there. The supply is so far “The first time I attempted below the demand that to parallel park, I managed cities throughout the world are making a to smash eight fenders” fortune on the fines they give for illegal parking, not to mention the cost of parking legally. Whether you break the law or not, you are going to break the bank if you want to park your car anywhere near where you planned to go. The good news is that a Korean company has managed to solve the problem for us all. Watch Lynn Ruth Miller at They have invented a folding car they call the Armadillo –T. The vehicle is tiny to begin with and once stopped can be folded to one-third its size with a smart phone. Think of it! You drive to the supermarket, tuck your car in a little corner and off you go to do your shopping. The car is so small that if you can bench-press 50 pounds you can fold it up and stow it in the garage when you get home, with plenty of room left over to keep spare furniture, appliances and naughty children. The advantages of such a tiny little automobile boggle the mind. When it snows, you can lift the vehicle out of that snowdrift without bothering to hire a tow truck and if the roads are too icy, strap the car to your back and walk it home. Packing passengers and parcels into a tiny car does present problems but if you have a basket on the roof and a few strategically placed bungee cords you can manage quite nicely. There is a downside to all this. Cities will lose thousands of pounds in traffic tickets and meter fees if three cars can fit into one parking space. There goes all the money used to pay meter maids and city workers. The other challenge the tiny car presents is cramming a tall human being behind its wheel. The Armadillo-T is so small that anyone over six feet would be better served to pay a pound and rent a bicycle. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention, isn’t it? Now that we have a folding car, what next? Perhaps a highway we can roll up and put in the boot if it gets too crowded, or, even more efficient, motorized boots so we can speed to our destination on our own two feet.

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Celebcity with Jo Brooks Miley Cyrus’ biggest fan is from Brighton, Peter Andre’s new fragrances, & our city’s Da Vinci



Miley Cyrus’ biggest fan – star of Channel 4’s My Tattoo Addiction – finds his home in none other than sunny Brighton. Carl McCoid is the proud owner of 21 Miley Cyrus tattoos including three images of the star’s face, and her signature tattooed on both arms. The 40 year old, who has been given shout-outs by the twerking star for his impressive tatts, names Cyrus as the reason he made it through his painful divorce. © ITV Pictures: Peter Andre - My Life



ur favourite graffiti artist Banksy is currently across the pond, transforming the streets of New York with a month-long residency of whacky art stunts and murals popping up all over the city. From a New York delivery truck converted into a mobile garden (including a rainbow, waterfall and butterflies) to a one-off stall in Central Park selling authentic, signed canvases of his work (unbeknown to passers-by), this elusive artist, who has never confirmed his identity, is clearly making his presence known. Now’s the time to pay a visit the Big Apple and check into the Nyma!


Local painter Robert Burns has taken up the title of Brighton’s ‘Da Vinci’ after painting pictures of celebrities in his trademark Renaissance style. Burns has re-imagined the likes of Russell Brand and José Mourinho as religious figures and renaissance stars. Talking to the local paper recently he explained: “I get inspired when I see a celebrity offering themselves in a Renaissance pose. I don’t follow football but when I found out José Mourinho calls himself ‘The Special One’ I knew I had to do him next. He is photogenic. There was this photograph and I thought ‘he looks just like the Salvator Mundi photo. Salvator Mundi means saviour of the world – I think it suits him very well.” We’re inclined to agree.


Stop press – local lad Peter Andre has launched two brand new fragrances for the modern lady: Forever and Forever Young. The scents, bottled in delightful shades of pink, were debuted as part of a UK press tour which saw Pete visit the glamorous towns of Watford, Stoke, Leeds, York, Derby, Northampton, Portsmouth and Camberley. Though we didn’t have Pete down as ‘Le Nez’ of Brighton, he certainly could do with sweetening the air a bit after ex-wife Katie Price’s recent revelations. The Brighton-born glamour-model/ business woman spoke scathingly of Andre (though perhaps he should count his lucky stars he’s not the ‘disturbing’ Alex Reid) saying she never wanted to get back with him after their split, contrary to popular opinion! Perhaps worse than this, however, the Pricey also let the cat out of the bag with regards to Pete’s shortcomings; apparently the ‘Mysterious Girl’ singer took to stuffing his shoes full of tissue in order to measure up against his ex-wife! We assume he won’t be sending her a bottle of ‘Forever’ this Christmas...

Have you spotted a celeb in the city?

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to

Follow me: latestcelebcity

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010_LS651_kay_comps_Social Diary 18/10/2013 13:13 Page 2



Andrew Kay

Sponsored by Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

Hollywood by the sea I

find it most entertaining that one event reestablishes Brighton and Hove as Britain’s Hollywood. Okay, the city is permanently overrun with film crews, making ads, films and TV series and although it’s fun to see the city on the big screen, few of them are truly satisfying, especially those who refuse to get the geography of our city right No, for me it’s the bi-annual Oska Bright Film Festival that truly establishes us as a centre of filmic excellence. For curators Becky Bruzas and Jason Eade, who select films to include in the Oska Bright Film Festival, it brings joy and pain in equal measure. Oska Bright is the world’s first and only festival of short films made by people with learning disabilities that is produced, managed and presented by a learning disabled team. 2013 is the sixth edition of this biennial festival and it looks set to be the biggest and most extraordinary yet with more entries than ever before from more countries. In total, 57 films from the UK, Australia, Belgium, Ireland, Germany and Canada are being shown. The decision making process for the team can be a fraught process. Becky says: “We have long and often rather lively discussions about the content, production values and audience appeal of

“The Oska Bright Film Festival gives people with learning disabilities a chance to show what is important in their lives – their hopes and their fears” the submitted films. The festival runs for three days with different categories of films, screened in timed sessions. This year we had several films with adult content, so we have put these into an evening slot.” “It is important that people can choose the sort of films they want to see” adds Jason. “We also have Films That Make Us Laugh, Films About People and Spooky Films.”

Oska Bright is not just about getting the work of these often overlooked artists into the public eye. It promotes a completely inclusive approach to the arts. There are opportunities for networking, for seeing the latest digital art and for participation. The “Oskas” are made by Andy Kee, who is a tireless advocate for artists and makers with learning disabilities. “The festival gives people with learning disabilities a chance to show what is important in their lives – their hopes and their fears.” The Festival culminates in an awards ceremony with winners announced on the spot by guests from the film industry, parliament and the arts. It’s a great event which I know from first hand experience when I was privileged enough to be asked to present one of the awards. That was certainly a night to remember, the pure joy and creativity gathered in one room, a room full of people who, rather than talking about doing something, get off their backsides and do it. Three cheers for that! Oska Bright celebrates the artistic achievements of people with learning disabilities and proudly demonstrates the independence and creativity of this community. Now, perhaps more than ever, this festival is of value to society – bringing people in, from ‘out there’. The whole things is also open to the public and I can heartily recommend getting down to the Corn Exchange to enjoy the rich and diverse programme of short films that will have you both laughing and crying but above all amazed it the wealth of international and local talent. Oska Bright Film Festival, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, Church Street, Brighton Sunday 17 November–Tuesday 19 November Tickets £12 festival pass or £3 per screening session. See for full schedule, venue information and tickets.

Follow me: @latestandrew



Ever dreamt you had the beautiful vocals of Ariel the mermaid or visit a whole new world like Princess Jasmine? Now you can experience all of the adventures of the Disney Princesses through their songs as NOW music have collaborated with Disney to bring you the best collection of princess songs. We are giving away five copies to the lucky readers who simply answer the question below. Q: Who have NOW collaborated with to bring you this new compliation?

WIN COPIES OF ‘LOVE, MARILYN’ ON DVD Love, Marilyn is a portrait of an actress whos private life was ever one of the mysteries of Hollywood. This new film, made 50 years after her death, looks at the intimate times of Marilyn Monroe drawing on never-beforeseen papers, diaries and letters with contribution from current stars of the screen such as Adrien Brody, Glenn Close, Uma Thurman and many more. Just answer the question below to win one of the three copies up for grabs. Q: What is Marilyn Monroe’s real name?


Who doesn’t love a bit of classic 80s dance? If you do, then you’ll find this new compliation an asset to your CD collection. NOW That’s What I Call 80s Dance is the cream of dancefloor fillers, from Soft Cell and Heaven 17 to Salt N Pepa and Wham!

If this sounds right up your alley then just answer this simple question to get your hands on one of five copies of this new CD. Q: What decade does this NOW CD feature music from ?


with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 4 November 2013.

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MUSICAL MADNESS Inspired by the music of Madness, the Olivier Award-winning musical Our House visits Theatre Royal Brighton


t’s Joe Casey’s 16th birthday and tonight he’s treating his girlfriend Sarah to an evening in a brand new luxury apartment. There’s just one problem: he has to break in! When the police turn up Joe has to decide – run away, or face the music – a choice that will change the course of his life, and his love, forever. This raucous musical comedy is an uplifting tale of life and love, heartbreak and hilarity set in London’s famous Camden Town in the mid-80’s, and featuring the greatest hits from the mighty Madness back

Sophie Byrne and Nicole Bryan, with additional musicians Joey Hickman, Al Twist and Adam Longstaff. Madness are one of the most successful British bands of the last five decades, having released ten studio albums, three live albums and nine compilation albums since their formation in 1976. In the 1980’s Madness spent 214 weeks in the UK singles charts, sharing the record with UB40 for the most weeks spent by a group in the UK Singles Charts throughout the decade. More recently Madness have given several iconic performances; at the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee concert from the roof of Buckingham Palace, at the Closing Ceremony of the London Olympic Games, and outside the BBC Television Centre in a live broadcast for BBC Four to mark the


closure of the building. Over 30 years after its release, Madness are still perhaps best known for their international hit ‘Our House’, which won an Ivor Novello Award. Our House is written by Tim Firth, whose work includes the recordbreaking film Calendar Girls starring Helen Mirren and Julie Walters, which he later adapted for the stage, and the 2005 film Kinky Boots, now a Tony Award-winning Broadway musical. You’d be mad to miss this fantastic musical! Our House, Theatre Royal Brighton, Monday 4–Saturday 9 November 2013, 7.45pm Tues–Thurs, 5.30pm and 8.30pm Frisday, 2.30pm and 7.45pm Saturday,* 0844 871 7650* Tickets £10–£27 (*bkg fee)

catalogue including ‘Our House’, ‘Baggy Trousers’, ‘My Girl’, ‘Driving In My Car’, ‘The Wings Of A Dove’, ‘Night Boat To Cairo’ and the all-time classic ‘It Must Be Love’. The actor-musician cast features Alexis Gerred as Joe Casey, Daniella Bowen as Sarah, Sean Needham as Joe’s Dad, Rebecca Bainbridge as Kath Casey, Alex Spinney as Lewis, James Haggie as Emmo, Dominique Planter as Angie, Lloyd Gorman as Reecey and Steve Dorsett as Mr Pressman. The cast also includes Edward Handoll, Dan McGowan,

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Ender’s Game young star Asa Butterfield talks to Holly Cozens about A-Levels, zero gravity and working with science fiction icon Harrison Ford Had you read the book Ender’s Game before you signed on? “Yeah. I’m a huge fan of science fiction, I’d read the book. I loved it.” Did you find it hard to get into the mindset of Ender? “In a way, because it’s set 50-odd years in the future there isn’t really any way of knowing what these children have been through, one thing I have got going for me is that, being a young actor, there is a sense of pressure on my shoulders to be this... star, in a way. But it's the same essence in that, even though it's a much larger scale, Ender has the planet’s fate on his shoulders, in comparison, I have my career on my shoulders.” I imagine Gavin Hood was a great director to go to for notes? “Definitely. I haven’t worked with a director like Gavin since or before then. He wrote the screenplay and so he knows it inside and out. He knows every single scene, he knows exactly what he wants, he knew exactly what he was going for, and because of that, it allowed us to experiment more because we knew what he wanted.” Gavin put you through your paces by making you guys do boot camp... “Yes, it was needed, because prior to that, we had it pretty easy. We had to learn how to march, how to salute, the correct cadences. And then we had the boot camp for wire work where we learnt how to simulate zero gravity and make it look realistic. Then I had the accent to worry about, I had my lines and my dialogue. I had to make sure my arms were always floating, my legs were always floating, I wasn’t allowed to bend at the waist, which is where we were attached, it was a nightmare. But we had a lot of fun up there. It was hard, but we did it.” How did you feel seeing the outcome after so much green screen? “It was amazing. When you’re there you can never really know what it’s gonna look like in the end with any film, especially when there is so much CGI and so much green screen. We saw what they call ‘pre-vis’ so we had an idea of

what they wanted it to look like but it can never compare to the final product.” What was your favourite scene to film? “The battle room scenes were a lot of fun. I’d never done anything like it, and I’m sure I’ll never do anything like it again. It’s definitely up there. I think the whole experience was so amazing and life-changing – the things I learnt, the people I met... it’s so hard to pick one thing.”

“Ender has the planet’s fate on his shoulders, in comparison, I have my career on my shoulders”

I was a bit nervous before meeting him, but... yeah, once I got to know him, it was amazing. He’s such a great guy and such an amazing actor. He really brought the best out of us, especially the young actors. Once you get over the fact that he’s Han Solo [laughs].” Have you got any favourite sci-fi films? “Um, Star Wars is definitely up there. That’s half the reason I was so amazed I was working with Harrison Ford. I love science fiction films and books. The Matrix, the original one, is probably my favourite science fiction film of all time.” Did you speak to Harrison about Star Wars? “No, I don’t think anyone had the balls to talk to him about anything other than Ender’s Game, really. [laughs] Because I mean, we’re professionals, we were all having so much fun, but at the same time, you’ve got to be professional on set.”

You’ve had some incredible opportunities so early in your career with the people you've worked with: Sir Ben Kingsley twice now, Martin Scorsese... do you ever stop and think about those opportunities? “Yeah. I do. I often find myself pinching myself. Even now it’s surreal how fortunate I've been. At such a young age to have had the opportunities I’ve had. I’m so lucky, and I love it. When I was little I never wanted to be an actor, it wasn’t something I strove towards. I think I always wanted to be an archaeologist, dig up some dinosaurs and name one after myself. In the last few years I have had amazing experiences and it really makes you appreciate the things you do and, especially Hugo, it made me appreciate cinema and acting, its roots. It wasn't until Hugo that I realised this was something I could do for the rest of my life.”

Have you chosen your next project? “I’ve got a few things in the pipe-line. Fingers crossed they’ll kick off either at the end of this year or the start of next year. I’m doing my A-Levels at the moment so pretty much all my focus is on that.”

When did you know Harrison Ford was onboard? “I remember them talking about it and saying they were talking to him, but I can’t remember the first time I heard he was onboard. I can remember the first time I met him, which was at the readthrough for the script in New Orleans. As anyone would be,

Is there any other profession that, other than acting, you would choose? “If I wasn’t acting, if there were an area I would go into, it would be something to do with the environment. Maybe some sort of geography. I haven’t really thought about it that hard, if I’m honest. We’ll see... fingers crossed I can carry on acting.”

What do you study? “I’m doing Biology, Geography, Film Studies and Photography. It’s quite a wide range.” It must be quite intimidating to be your Film Studies teacher... “He did say that [laughs], not quite in those words, but, he did. He pre-hinted that I was gonna be doing a lot of teaching. And I was like: [mock-arrogant tone] ‘Yeah cool...I can share my knowledge, I don’t know why I wouldn't’. Yeah, I’m looking forward to that, it’ll give me a different view into it. Because I find as actors, you look on the film industry and it’s hard not to look at it from one angle. So doing Film Studies has made me look all the way around it, really.”

Ender’s Game is out on Friday 25 October nationwide. Don’t forget to follow @latestholly

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CURTAIN UP, LIGHT THE LIGHTS... Andrew Kay on the pure yuletide joy of a festive theatre trip


othing says Christmas more to me than a festive trip to the theatre. My grandparents took me to see a panto at Liverpool’s beautiful Empire Theatre when I was a small boy, Tommy Steele in Mother Goose, and the memory has stayed with me ever since. Pantomime was a huge part of my childhood and the bedrock in many ways of my love of theatre. I love the atmosphere of a festively full theatre, an audience of all ages bristling with excitement and anticipation, the magic of a deep red velvet curtain masking the fun that lies beyond, the thrill of a fanfare as the band strikes up the overture and the gasp as the first set is revealed. I cannot resist the traditions, the audience shouting out “It’s behind you” and “Oh, no it isn’t”. I like the silly audience songs, the songsheet and the sweeties, and even the most miserable cannot help but be carried along on a wave of seasonal silliness and fun. Pantomimes rock and here in Sussex we have some of the finest example to be found on the British stage. Pantomimes are classics, worthy of being on any stage and as important in theatrical history

as the great tragedies and comedies. And if that is a good thing. Offerings form the West End, anyone thinks that they are outdated then think huge servings of yuletide nostalgia and comedy all again. The format might go back more than a few have their place on the Christmas stage and I for generations but the artistry required certainly one enjoy these as much as I love panto. I love the benefits from the newer technologies that can glitter and gaudy opulence of a West End show, I make the magic really happen: magic carpet adore the Christmas hits, the songs that we all rides, ghosts and transformations, evil witches in know so well and can easily sing along to. mirrors... that said, I can The traditional panto may equally get excited at the site still be my great love, but over of a Shetland pony pulling a years I have come more “Christmas is a time the crystal carriage and there is and more to love the newer still something delightful forms of Christmas for families and fun about a chorus of talented entertainment. I’m happy to and what better to children from a local theatre see either, and often see both, school giving their all. and luckily here in Sussex we We are also privileged to get pull all of those have both, great pantomimes a great many superb Christmas and superb Christmas shows shows, seasonal alternatives to things together than to suit all tastes. the traditional that will satisfy I can’t wait to get out there a trip to the theatre?” those of you who feel that you again to cheer and boo and are too old for panto, although hiss along with the rest of I’m sorry if you are. Christmas shows offer a you. Christmas is a time for families and fun and different kind of fun, they can be more adult, what better to pull all of those things together bawdier and rowdier too, but no less thrilling and than a trip to the theatre?

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The Hawth

With panto season fast approaching, Emporium’s Repertory Company proudly bring panto back to Brighton, the only family panto in Brighton! Cinders is a magic retelling of the much loved story. Expect a villainess to boo, a dashing prince, a super-sized pumpkin and more. Local writer and actor Nigel Fairs has the splendid job of penning this Christmas treat. His writing credits include Dr Who audio books. Introducing Justine Martin in the titular role and starring Brighton’s Fake Bush – Lucy Bundy – as The Fairy God-Mother, Cinders promises an array of fabulous stage effects and daring theatricality, Suitable for ages three plus, Cinders contains panto scary frights, and a few whizbangs that may scare younger audiences. Cinders, The Emporium, London Road, Brighton, 22 November2013–4 January 2014, various times:

The Hawth is proud to announce its 25th anniversary pantomime Cinderella will star one of Britain’s most popular young TV presenters: Stephen Mulhern. Stephen is a popular host of smash hit TV shows Catchphrase, Britain’s Got More Talent, Big Star’s Little Star and is a regular member of ITV’s This Morning. Stephen is also an experienced stage performer having starred in numerous theatre productions including playing Danny in Grease, his own magic shows, The Royal Variety Show and pantomime seasons. Stephen, who will play Buttons in the show, says: “I am absolutely thrilled to be playing Buttons in the greatest pantomime of them all. We aim to make this the funniest and most spectacular pantomime ever seen at The Hawth, so don’t miss it. I look forward to seeing everyone there!” Joining Stephen on stage will be presenter Sid Sloane from CBeebies. Cinderella promises to be a truly spectacular show combining the classic fairytale with brilliant song and dance, side-splitting comedy and truly amazing illusions and plenty of audience participation. So polish those glass slippers and prepare to have a ball! Cinderella, The Hawth, Crawley, 13 December 2013–5 January 2014, £10–£24.95. For tickets call the Box Office on 01293 553636 or online at


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Eastbourne Theatres Let the Genie grant your wish and join Eastbourne Theatres for another magical pantomime. Widow Twankey wants a husband (those sitting in row three have been warned!), evil Abanazar wants the magic lamp, Aladdin wants adventure and Wishee-Washee wants a clean vest – can the Genie grant their wishes? Starring Shaun Williamson as Abanazar – known to most from his longrunning role as Barry in EastEnders and as the hapless sidekick to Stephen Merchant in Ricky Gervais’s Extras. Shaun is a seasoned theatrical, television and film performer, who has also enjoyed a successful recording career. Accompanying Shaun are comic Tucker as Wishee-Washee and Martyn Knight as Widow Twankey – both back by popular demand, plus Charlene Ford as Aladdin who comes to Eastbourne straight from the West End. It promises you a show jam-packed with all of the essential pantomime ingredients plus top class live music, a fabulous cast, dazzling sets and a magic carpet ride through a spectacular adventure! Aladdin, Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne, 13 December 2013–12 January 2014, £11–£20. Book now on 01323 412000 or online at

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Brighton Dome With Christmas approaching, Brighton Dome asks you to forget last minute shopping, the endless piles of wrapping and the desperate search for the perfect turkey by offering memorable events for all the family. Fresh from a spell in New York City, Finland’s Race Horse Company trade Times Square for Churchill Square and bring Petit Mal: Concrete Circus to Brighton Dome’s historic Concert Hall. A unique spectacle of high octane circus performance, you will laugh and gasp in equal measure as this performance takes to a stage of debris and wreckage, pulling you from the rubble and treating you to a show like no other. A mix of extreme trampolining, break-dance and daring acrobatics – a far cry from traditional clowns and jugglers – will undoubtedly excite all ages this festive season. Also on offer is a fresh retelling of yuletide institution, The Nutcracker by Ballet Theatre UK, reminding you there is no better backdrop to winter than The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. A talented young cast with a huge level of critical acclaim inject a new lease of life into this Christmas classic. A spectacular programme for this December means that Brighton Dome can promise excitement for one and all this Christmas – visit for the full festive line-up. Petiti Mal: Concrete Circus, Brighton Dome, 17–22 December 2013, 7.30pm Tues–Sat, 3pm Sun £10–£20 The Nutcracker, Brighton Dome, 28 December 2013, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £10–£19.50

Theatre Royal Brighton Get ready for the ride of your life! Priscilla Queen Of The Desert, The Musical, the feel-good international hit sensation, is coming to Theatre Royal Brighton for three weeks only this Christmas. Based on the smash hit movie, Priscilla is the heartwarming, uplifting adventure of three friends who hop aboard a battered old bus searching for love and friendship and end up finding more than they could ever have dreamed of. With a hit parade of dancefloor favourites including ‘It’s Raining Men’, ‘I Will Survive’, ‘Hot Stuff’, ‘Finally’, ‘Boogie Wonderland’, ‘Go West’, ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’, and ‘I Love The Nightlife’, this wildly fresh and funny new musical is a journey to the heart of fabulous! Noel Sullivan takes the lead role of Tick for the Brighton run. Noel is best known as one fifth of the record-breaking pop band Hear’Say. Priscilla Queen Of The Desert is sure to sell out, so don’t miss the chance to see the show while the Priscilla bus is parked in Brighton this Christmas. Priscilla Queen Of The Desert, The Musical, 17 December 2013–5 January 2014 To book tickets visit* 0844 871 7650* Tickets from £15 – £37.50 No perfs 24, 25 & 30 Dec *Subject to booking fee

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TOM The Old Market

Worthing Theatres Gardening guru Charlie Dimmock leads the cast of Jack And The Beanstalk at Worthing’s Connaught Theatre (6 December 2013– 4 January 2014) where she is joined by Heart Breakfast presenters Tom and Jack to tell the traditional pantomime story of a boy who sells his family cow for beans. As the giant beanstalk stretches into the skies Charlie, as Fairy Organic, must battle the giant Blunderbore and his evil sidekick Fleshcreep. There will also be traditional ghost gags and plenty of sing-along songs when dotty Dame Trott, Daisy the Cow, Simple Simon and Princess Amelia invite audiences to join in with their yuletide frolics. Meanwhile Christmas could be cancelled if Claire Sweeney as the wicked Ice Queen gets her wish in the dazzling production of Santa Claus – The Musical at Worthing’s Pavilion Theatre (11 December 2013–5 January 2014). Packed with beloved Christmas classics including ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ and ‘Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer’, the feel-good show transforms the theatre into the North Pole where Rudolph and his reindeer friends live in a winter wonderland alongside Santa, Jack Frost and a cast of dancing penguins, polar bears and singing crows. Santa Claus – The Musical, Pavilion Theatre, Worthing,11 December 2013–5 January 2014, Jack And The Beanstalk, Connaught Theatre, Worthing, Friday 6 December 2013–4 January 2014, Tickets from £10.50, available from the box office on 01903 206206 or online at

Imaginations are required to tell the story of Pinocchio at TOM this Christmas. All the tools of a carpenter’s workshop come alive to tell the original story; Pinocchio will be intricately carved from a log, brushes will become a fox and two saws will transform into one giant fish. That is, if your imagination will let them! Award-winning company Indefinite Articles collaborate with the acclaimed Scamp Theatre for a five-day run at TOM (The Old Market) around New Year’s Day. Indefinite Articles’ work focuses on turning the commonplace into something extraordinary. Company founder Sally Brown hopes that young audiences will leave Pinocchio thinking ‘I can do that’. “Children’s entertainment is often too defined, leaving no space for the child’s own imagination,” says Sally. “There is another way of telling a story; in our version, we use familiar objects in an unfamiliar form, allowing for a creative relationship between the performer and audience.” Indefinite Articles’ delightfully inventive show has been enjoyed worldwide – from Edinburgh to New York, and even at London’s National Theatre – but each performance is unique so expect something entirely new this December in Hove. Bring your imaginations. Leave with whole worlds of magical possibility. Pinocchio, TOM, 28 December 2013–2 January 2014, 2pm & 4pm 28–30 Dec & 2 Jan; 11am 31 Dec, 01273 201800,

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The Capitol Horsham Don’t miss your opportunity to see one of Britain’s best loved soap actors Steve Arnold and an all-star cast in the swashbuckling tale of Peter Pan at The Capitol Horsham this Christmas. Everyone can be a child as they take the second star to the right and fly far far away to Neverland with Peter Pan and his friends. J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan is undoubtedly one of the most famous and best-loved stories for children; an unforgettable magical fantasy enjoyed by generations for over a hundred years. Sprinkled with a bit of Horsham panto magic this will be a must see show! The pantomime is not the only show on in Horsham this Christmas: From the author of the popular children’s book Dear Zoo, Horsham is presenting Rod Campbell’s Dear Santa in The Capitol’s Studio. It is the perfect show for young children and their families. This Christmas treat contains audience participation and the opportunity to meet and receive an exclusive gift from Santa! Peter Pan, Thu 12 December 2013–Sun 5 January 2014. Dear Santa, Sat 7–Tue 24 December 2013. The Capitol Horsham, North Street, Horsham, West Sussex, RH12 1RG Box Office: 01403 750 220

Martlets Musicals for the Martlets – 10th Anniversary Spectacular: If you love musicals then come to the biggest show in Brighton on Sunday 17 November at Hove Town Hall. Musicals For The Martlets features songs from all the best loved Broadway and West End shows. Featuring performances from: Miss Saigon, CATS, The Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, Showboat, 42nd Street, Chicago, Sunset Boulevard and many, many more. The show features many local talented performers, singing groups and musicians. There will be guest soloists from the West End. It will be hosted by popular radio presenters, Sarah Gorrell (BBC Sussex) and Juice FM’s Guy Lloyd. Don’t miss the magic of Martlets’ musical spectacular! Musicals For The Martlets, The Hove Centre, Sunday 17 November, 4pm and 7.30pm. Tickets are £12, £15, £20. Call the Box Office on 01273 964200.

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Out Of The Shadow, the award-winning dance show, comes to Brighton Dome


ance to express, not to impress” is the mission of Austrian dance company Nobulus, who will be bringing their show Out Of The Shadow to Brighton Dome on Tuesday 29 and Wednesday 30 October. The high energy, gripping performance unravels over three acts, each one delving into a different stage of evolution, from the creation of the universe through to the struggles of the current day and a view of the world in an apocalyptic future. Using only their bodies, the 10strong crew create otherworldly scenes by morphing primal images of sacrifice and betrayal, of love and pleasure, death and destruction to an epic soundtrack. The ‘Shadows’ clothed in black are androgynous, and use a highly physical language that that enables them to create mercurial structures, machines and animals. The show was conceived and choreographed by Alexander Wengler, who started to dance at the age of five and took his first inspiration from

Michael Jackson. Since 1999, he has developed his own style and skills through working with various hip-hop dance styles and choreographers. “When we started making Out Of The Shadow we had no resources, no money. So we couldn’t build a set, we had to do that with our bodies,” Alexander explains. “Originally I had a

dream of building a set when we were able to do a bigger production. When I got to that point and we were making a full-length version I realised that if I added a set it would take away so much from the show it would change it completely. I decided that the strength was with us using our bodies.” But what inspired Wengler to make a piece that comments on the world in this way and how we as individuals can change it? “If you want to make a change and make it in real life you have to ask the question, ‘how do I do that?’ It is a process. In the production this is what I’m presenting, the idea that the internal struggle exists for us all individually but we have some collective responsibility for how we make positive changes to help the planet and create a peaceful existence for all. I really believe that it is our generation who will have to deal with the impact of our lifestyles in order to change the future for the better.”


Fusing an impressive array of breaking, popping, locking, NuStyle and house alongside contemporary, classical and experimental dance forms, Nobulus’ work sees all these dance styles merge with the dancers’ bodies to create something new. The company includes some of the most talented dancers from across Europe with an impressive array of experience between them including appearances in film, commercials and even a Robbie Williams video. Out Of The Shadow was first performed as a seven-minute showcase at the international hip-hop event Battle of the Year in Germany in 2006. A 20-minute version was presented at Breakin’ Convention in London in 2007 and four years of creative development later, a fulllength version of the work was premiered and toured across Austria. Out Of The Shadow will tour the UK for the first time and audiences in Brighton will have a chance to see this impressive show which critics have called jaw dropping and mesmerising. Out Of The Shadow, Tuesday 29–Wednesday 30 October 2013, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, £10–£18.50, under 16s half price, 01273 709709,

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Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

More fun facts you didn’t know about fantabulous Hove


Everyone knows the famous superstition concerning the ravens of the Tower of London, but there is a lesser-known prophecy that states that if the charity shops ever leave George Street the entire city will fall into the sea.


In 1928 the Hove Park Café became the first establishment in Great Britain to offer customers salted caramel ice cream. Unfortunately this resulted in its being burned down by an angry mob shortly afterwards who claimed that the new flavour was “against nature” and “godless.”


Hove’s reputation as Brighton’s dowdier, more stodgy cousin would seem to be undeserved; a recent survey has revealed that it is the twerking capital of Europe.


Rave anthems recorded in Hove include 808 State’s ‘In Yer Face’, Urban Shakedown’s ‘Some Justice’, and SL2’s ‘Way In My Brain’.

EAST SUSSEX “TALES OF THE GOLD MONKEY” CONVENTION Believe it or not this is the first ever British convention dedicated to the much-loved 1982 Raiders Of The Lost Ark rip-off. Featuring personal appearances by Stephen Collins (Jake Cutter), Caitlin O'Heaney (Sarah Stickney White), and the great great grandson of Dougie (Jack the Jack Russell terrier), a screening of “lost” episode ‘Down Amongst the Dead Men’, and lots and lots of middle-aged men of dubious personal hygiene with beards, bunches of keys jangling on their bels and an interest in real ale. Brighton Centre, 28th October. Entry £10/£5 BRIGHTON BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT FESTIVAL Ayurvedic healing, osteopathy, colour therapy, reiki, homeopathy, herbalism, hypnotherapy, traditional Chinese medicine, guided imagery, acupuncture, and lots of other things that don't work. Metropole Hotel, 29th October. Entry £15/£10 OUR PRICE AT BRIGHTON MUSEUM An exhibition devoted to the budgetpriced independent record, tape, and CD chain which closed in 2004. With “Our Price” posters, displays, adverts, and a special taped interview with Our Price founder Gary Nesbitt. Special interactive feature: by wearing a special headset you can “virtually” sell a


Hove has issued several “fatwahs” over the ages, against those it views as being contemptuous of, or a danger to, its existence. Notable people who have had a fatwa issued against them include television presenter Henry Kelly, Dutch eurodance act 2 Unlimited, and fictional Happy Days character Ralph Malph.

latest musicbar the place for parties!



• The five minute warning • Andre the Giant • Women’s Lib • Ballykissangel • Los Lobos


• Stretch Armstrong • New age travellers • Get Stuffed • Shaving your chest hair to facilitate its growth • Body popping


Hove factually

WHAT’S ON In & Out



Brand New Heavies 12 inch single to a student in Wolverhampton 1987. Brighton Museum, 30th October – 30th November EMPSON! A new musical based on the life and times of poet and literary critic William Empson, with music and lyrics by Mathilda's Tim Minchin and book by Jennifer Saunders. Songs include ‘I've Got Seven Types of Ambiguity (Over You)’ and ‘Done With Donne’. Starring Michael Ball as William Empson and Gary Wilmot as George Orwell. Theatre Royal, November 2nd–November 9th, 8PM £20/£15 TROUSERBOX MEN The award-winning improv group present an hour-long show based entirely on suggestions made by the audience, though strangely large chunks of it appear to be identical to the show they did last night at Chichester, and the one the night before that in Little Venice. Dell’Arte Theatre 4th November, 8PM £12/£10 Follow me: @MitchellnNixon

•atmospheric •affordable •available any night •you make the booking •we make it happen

•birthdays •weddings •civil partnerships •office parties •business events •hen & stag nights •tell us what you want •we provide it all! call ruth on 01273 687171 or email:

026_LS651_hotlist_Hotlist 17/10/2013 17:09 Page 2



L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit American Coast to Coast

Coast to Coast American restaurant and bar has been created by a team of people who genuinely love good quality food, drinks and good times! When it’s cooked well using fabulous ingredients, nothing beats authentic American food, and very few can resist a cocktail mixed by a real bartender who knows exactly how to blend flavours to achieve a perfect balance of strong, weak, sharp and sweet. Coast to Coast, 3 The Waterfront, Brighton BN2 5WA, 01273 626170

British & Modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256,

Ohso Social

Situated alongside Brighton Pier, occupying the best location on the beach, Ohso opens for coffees, cocktails, breakfast and dinner. Popular for group celebrations or a romantic table for two. The heated outdoor beach terrace provides a wonderful environment for alfresco dining serving classic fish ‘n’ chips and signature mussels while watching the

starlings dart between the piers. Ohso hosts legendary summer beach parties nightly when sunny. Ohso Social, 250A Kings Road Arches, Brighton, BN1 1NB. Bookings 01273 590918,

The Townhouse

At Kemp Town's favourite restaurant their chefs lovingly create delicious menus using the finest locally sourced produce. They take huge pride in delivering quality food with a warm and friendly welcome. The Townhouse has an amazing location overlooking New Steine and the buzzing St. James Street. You can relax in their bar with your favourite cocktail while listening to live music. Join them for Kemp Town’s best breakfast every Saturday and Sunday 9am–12pm, lunch from 12pm everyday, and dinner from 6pm. They offer amazing value set menus, lunch (2 course £11.95) and evening (2 courses £14.95), Monday–Thursday, and the best roast in town on Sundays from £9.95. 01273 693216 81-82 St James Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1PA

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton, 01273 321321,

The Chilli Pickle Canteen

Indian Chaula’s Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

Chaula’s Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99. Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661,

The Chilli Pickle

The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton 01273 900 383,

The Chilli Pickle Canteen

The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially-commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches: with regional curries, homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams. The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at 01273 900384

Indian Summer

Indian Summer has been pioneering authentic regional food from the sub continent for over a decade. The Brighton favourite is listed in the ‘Top 100’ restaurants in the UK by the Cobra Good Curry Guide 2013 and recently awarded Trip Advisor Certificate of Excellence. The new lunch summer offering is completed with a selection of thalis and new tandoori roasts on Sundays. Indian Summer, 69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 711001,


Nooris Indian restaurant in central Brighton has been newly refurbished and offers a

fantastic setting for lunch or dinner. The menu features a great selection of meat and vegetables. A two-course lunch or early dinner is available for just £6.95, and their Sunday buffet is just £5.50 – available 12pm–5pm. Try their delicious homemade fish or chicken thali; you won’t be disappointed! Nooris, 70/71 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 329405,

Italian Al Duomo

Brighton’s longest established family run pizzeria, using fresh ingredients, has recently updated its menu and restaurant team. Offering a comprehensive array of traditional stone-baked pizzas made fresh daily with gourmet ingredients imported direct from Italy and authentic Italian dishes from the a la carte menu. Gluten-free pasta and vegan dishes are also offered. Try their special lunch/pre-theatre menu at £9.95 for two courses with a great selection of choices or £12.75 for three courses. Cocktails are available from the cocktail bar and Monday to Friday you can enjoy 2-4-1 cocktails from 3pm–9pm. Check out the special mid-week Cabaret Nights, Elvis, Michael Buble and Las Vegas Swing. Open seven days a week. Booking recommended. Al Duomo Restaurant, 6 & 7 Pavilion Buildings, Brighton, BN1 1EE, 01273 326741,


Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

Thai Street Thai

Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two-courses at £8.95 and three-courses at £10.95. Street Thai, 01273 207444, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton BN1 1HD

Up to 50% off your food bill Table Pouncer

Table Pouncer has teamed up with Latest 7 to offer diners up to 50% off their food bill. Register for free and take advantage of great savings. Participating restaurants change all the time, so check back and see whether your favourite is there. From Italian and Chinese to seafood and more, eating out has just got a lot more affordable.

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

027_LS651_food__food 18/10/2013 13:09 Page 2


Food & Drink Andrew Kay travels to Marylebone Lane in London to sample the food at Verru

Read herring M

uch as I love Brighton and Hove’s fecund foodie scene I find the need to travel further afield to find out what else is happening in the gastronomic world. So when the opportunity arose to meet up with Mrs Salad and the lovely Mr L I jumped on it. Salad and I would have to travel up to The Smoke but Mr L works there so we left the booking arrangements to him. Now this can be a dangerous path as Mr L has notoriously expensive tastes, dressing entirely in designer labels and even buying lavatory paper from Prada – I exaggerate of course, well about the loo rolls. Duly he emailed details of our meeting, 6.30pm at Verru in Marylebone Lane. I took a bus from Victoria to Marble Arch and walked the rest of the way, arriving a little early. Inside Verru is rather nice but not earth-shatteringly designed, which in a world where restaurants interiors can be somewhat OTT came as a relief. I sat down and waited with a glass of sparkling water and a menu. It was then that I realised Mr L had cunningly booked the table in time for us to take advantage of their early evening set price menu at £17.95 for two courses. I guess in the West End that may be par for the courses, did you see what I did there? Mrs Salad arrived next closely followed by Mr L, and pretty soon he had selected a bottle of great wine at £30, so any sense of being economical was fast shot out the window, especially as I know only too well that one bottle would never be enough. It was however delicious wine, Gruner Veltliner Hochterrassen from Austria, and worth every last penny, which I needed to know as we finished a third bottle.


So on to the food. Mrs S and Mr L both started with prawns and chorizo. It was such a beautifully presented dish but they both assured me that it was more than that, truly delicious and by no means skimpy, a common fault on set menus at bargain prices where chefs have been instructed to trim the dish to improve the margin. Not here, clearly they are aware that if they impress with a set price, a customer is likely to return and try the a la carte. I spotted herring on the menu and I love them so that was an obvious choice for me, and I was not to be disappointed. The fish was superb, plump soused chunks in a unctuous dressing. The accompanying potato salad was the very best I have ever had, I really mean that, and the purée of beetroot was almost equal in stature. One course in and I was already impressed. Equally impressive was the slick but friendly service. Main courses continued to impress. Mrs S chose the sea bass and loved it, once again it was generous and beautifully presented. Mr L and I both went for the Goosnargh duck breast. Knowing this is about as good as duck breast gets it was an obvious choice and one that silenced us for a few moments. Perfect slices of pink duck, packed with flavour but tender to the teeth on a bed of tiny, and I mean tiny, florets of cauliflower, broccoli and nibs of fresh sweetcorn. It has a hint of Asia but nothing so vulgar that one would be tempted to utter the abhorrent ‘fusion’ word. I wanted it to go on forever but sadly it did not. Between us we ordered a bowl of chips, a great idea as they were exceptionally good, and a dish of spinach with nutmeg which was superb. By this point we had finished the second bottle after our 20-year catch up and any idea of restraint was out of the question. Mr L launched into a rhubarb crumble, deconstructed, with a rhubarb panacotta which he loved. Mrs S and I shared a platter of excellent cheese over which she presented us with half a dozen eggs from her hens, what a treat. And yes we did have another bottle of wine, and yes, what should have been and in fact was a very reasonable bill for such great cooking, was hoiked up by £90. That said, we certainly left satisfied on every level, great food and wine and excellent company. I highly recommend Verru and advise caution with the wine. Verru, 69 Marylebone Lane, London, Greater London W1U 2PH 020 7935 0858

Follow me: latestandrew

Is wine with dinner a must?

026_029_LS651_previews_editorial 18/10/2013 16:26 Page 2



To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to


Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20

Black Rooster Black Shag are nowhere to be seen this week as The Black Fields fight their corner to rise back up the ranks. Want to see your favourites stay in the charts? The more times you listen, the higher they rise! Words: Holly Cozens

1 The Black Fields The Fighter 2 Chaos Borne I Will 3 The Fooley Mantras Peace and Love and Understanding (radio) 4 The Mighty Rivals Something In My Way 5 The Last Cry Rebekka 6 tenek No Time For Fighting (JAB EDIT) 7 Jamie Bilboa Everything Computerised 8 Jamie Bilboa Sunshine Bouncing 9 The Cocktail Party Hypochondria 10 Damn Dirty Humans Sanctuary 11 DJ H Brighton Life 12 OSARO/RJ LOVIN U 13 Damn Dirty Humans Sanctuary 14 tenek If I Should Fall – EP version 15 Black Nail God Damn You 16 Kris Lamba Riding Girl 17 Sia-Apantha-Cali Vita Brevis


Brighton Centre, 28 June 2014, £42.50, 0844 847 1515 Featuring The Osmonds, David Essex, Showaddywaddy and Les McKeowns Legendary Bay City Rollers – this is an epic line-up of nostalgic big-hitters.


Concorde 2, 10 November 2013, £20, 01273 673311, Blancmange may be one of the sweetest desserts known to man, but in the world of ‘80s synthpop it only means one thing: pioneering synth duo Stephen Luscombe and Neil Arthur. Possibly still best known for their seminal breakthrough hit ‘Living On The Ceiling’, Blancmange had seven top 40 hits and two top 40 albums between 1982 and 1985.

Under review


THE LUMBERJACKS – STEWART FRANCIS, CRAIG CAMPBELL AND GLENN WOOL Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 12 October 2013 ✪✪✪✪✪


ou can get three comedians for the price of one at countless comedy nights up and down this fair isle, but to see this standard of comedy within those confines is an incredibly rare thing. It’s been 16 years since the Canadian trio last toured together, and their distinctive styles of stand-up still create a show which really has something for everybody – Francis’ impeccable one-liners, Campbell’s warm, energetic ramblings, and Wool’s melting pot of anger and acerbic wit strangely complement each other well and ensure the show has a refreshing variety. As Francis said in the show’s introduction, if you don’t like any of them, it’s you... not them. Adam Lindsay

DAVE GORMAN GET’S STRAIGHT TO THE POINT (THE POWERPOINT) Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 11 October 2014, £21, 01273 709709, Do not despair as this year’s Brighton comedy festival draws to a close – next year’s has already started booking! The wonderfully innovative comedy mind behind Modern Life Is Goodish (Dave TV), Are You Dave Gorman? and Googlewhack Adventure is back with a brand new live show.


The Old Market, 23 February 2014, £12.10, /tour/Sam-Smith One of the biggest breakout artists to emerge in the past 12 months, Sam Smith has won over fans and critics alike. Sam first emerged on the scene featuring on Disclosure’s hit single ‘Latch’, he went on work with Naughty Boy on one of the biggest selling singles of the year ‘La La La’.


While ‘Festival’ might have been a somewhat overly grand title for this extended showcase of acoustic guitarists of the ‘percussive’ bent, there was certainly an intimate, family feel to The Brunswick. Headline act Chris Woods aside, the performers were all in a state of development, with songs, lyrics, stage persona or performance lacking at some point. That these issues mattered little to the rather fluid crowd was testament to the atmosphere created in the room by organiser and performer Brian McNamara. Next year some of these players will return, and they’ll set the stage alight. The Brunswick, Hove, 13 October, 2013 ✪✪✪✪ Pete Langman


For any slightly geeky 30-something, the mere mention of ’80s and early ’90s children’s TV adventure game show Knightmare will prompt fond memories of a true cult classic. Funded by a Kickstarter campaign, 20 years on, we had this, a profoundly silly stage adaptation, complete with shaky sets and all grown-up contestants dodging a goblin attack and booby traps. Led by comedians Paul Flannery and Tom Bell as our new host Tregard and the evil Lord Fear, tongue-in-cheek asides and knowing self-reference was sometimes hilarious. Combined with panto-style audience participation, this made for an entertaining evening of knowing nostalgia. The Old Market, 13 October 2013 ✪✪✪ Nick Aldwinckle

Fish & Chips


18 Chaos Borne The Moment 19 Joanne Arrowsmith Smile 20 Glitters From Billy Little Star

Line caught cod in our homemade crispy batter accompanied by homemade tartare sauce, chips and minty pea puree.


2 for 1 on all main courses between 4 - 7pm with voucher. SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos


The Brasserie Fish & Grill 3a Waterfront, Brighton East Sussex BN2 5WA Tel. 01273 698989 Excludes Saturdays

t: 07909717808

026_029_LS651_previews_editorial 18/10/2013 16:25 Page 3 Foreste


STAGE: HA HA HOLMES! AND THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES Joe Pasquale is Holmes at Theatre Royal Brighton


omedian and national treasure Joe Pasquale serves up his own unique and very individual comedic portrayal of super sleuth Sherlock Holmes in the touring stage production Ha Ha Ha Holmes! And The Hound Of The Baskervilles. We had a word with him to find out more. What drew you to Ha Ha Holmes!? “Last year I did a touring production of Doctor In The House produced by Jamie Wilson. He’s been a fan of mine since he was a kid. That was the catalyst for our first meeting. We really hit it off and looked for another project to work on together. Jamie has been putting on Ha Ha! shows for years. But this year he wanted to expand it by putting a name in it. I agreed immediately because the script made me laugh out loud.” Why were you so eager to take on the role of Sherlock Holmes? “It’s something so different from me. All the roles I’ve played before have basically been me. The Nerd was very much me. The Producers was me with an American accent. Doctor In The House was me in a white coat. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead was a layabout version of me. But Sherlock Holmes is a real stretch for me. But I’ve loved it. I’ve especially enjoyed working with Ben Langley, who wrote the play and co-stars as Doctor Watson, and Andrew Fettes, who plays everyone else.”

Why do you think Holmes works as comedy? The stories lend themselves to comic treatment. The relationship between Holmes and Watson is funny. Holmes is the master criminal hunter and Watson is his apprentice – there is great scope for comedy there. Look at Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes films – there is a lot of humour in them. Robert Downey Jnr is a fantastic comic actor. We’re simply heightening what’s already there. It’s Monty Python meets Men Behaving Badly meets Sherlock Holmes.”


>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES Jeeves & Wooster

Theatre Royal Brighton Until Sat 26 October Box office 08448 717 650 National Theatre Encore: Hamlet (12A) Connaught Theatre, Worthing Tue 22 October Box office 01903 206206

The Merry Wives Of Windsor Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne, Thu 24 –Sat 26 October Box office 01323 412000 Moon Project Studio Theatre, Brighton Dome Thu 24 Oct Box office 01273 709709

Finally, do you have plans to star in further Ha Ha shows? “Definitely. If this goes well, we’re talking about Ha Ha Hood!, Ha Ha Hitler!, Ha Ha Houdini!, Ha Ha Hamlet!, and Ha Ha Hobbit!. Basically anything beginning with the letter H is fair game!” Ha Ha Ha Holmes! And The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Theatre Royal Brighton, 31 October 2013, £18–24, 7.45pm 0844 871 7650,

Could you please outline the plot of Ha Ha Holmes!... “In theory, Holmes is trying to find The Hound of the Baskervilles on the moors. There is a very long, involved story about a curse on a family, but ultimately that is pointless. It’s all about the deduction. It’s a really innovative, really funny play about Holmes’s methods of solving crimes, and audiences will love getting wrapped up in it.”


TRANSGENDER SEEKING... In this UK premiere, and in association with the Study of Sexual Dissidence at University of Sussex and Pink Fringe, is this one-person show from Australian Sunny Drake. Jimmy is trying to quit romance so he’ll never get hurt again. Since the break-up, he’s been trying to prove that he’s “Great! Fine! Never been better!” But his secret comforts include watching cheesy old black and white romance films – don’t tell his radical friends. Transgender Seeking... is an exposing, funny and tender look at queer relationships including run-ins with the polyamory police, online dating mishaps, and how relationship scripts and bigger political systems like policing and prisons affect

interpersonal relationships in queer communities (and beyond). It is a hilarious confession of a queer romance-a-holic. The show will be followed by a post show discussion with Sunny Drake chaired by Jason Price, Lecturer in Contemporary Theatre and Performance at the University of Sussex. This performance is recommended for ages 15+. Transgender Seeking..., The Basement, Thursday 24 October, 8pm, £10/8, 01273 699733,

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026_029_LS651_previews_editorial 18/10/2013 15:58 Page 4


COMEDY: MICKY FLANAGAN – BACK IN THE GAME Brighton loved the show so much, Mr Flanagan brings it back for a return visit


his may seem like deja vu, as it was only five months ago that Micky Flanagan was in town at the same venue with the very same show. Filled with geezerisms, disarmingly likeable and funny, entrenched in ’70s and ’80s memories and as East End as Bow Bells and Ripper walking tours, Flanagan’s show is a delight come back to town. If you missed it, the Back In The Game show arrived in early May, possibly lost amongst the maelstrom of the Brighton Festival and Brighton Fringe shows that monopolised every venue and publicity outlet around. Fortunately it’s back, giving you a second chance to catch the fun. The follow-up to his bestselling DVD and sold out tour Out Out, this latest show builds on its success and popular persona, maintaining a freshness and cheekiness without at any time appearing manufactured. The Back In The Game DVD is due for release mid November, dressing this real treat of a night out up as reasearch for Christmas present buying. More than likely to be topping the comedy charts amongst the raft of Crimbo releases, stand up comedy is always best experienced live making this likely to be your last chance to catch the show before it’s usurped by next year’s Mickey Flanagan DVD in waiting. Mickey Flanagan, Brighton Centre, Wednesday 23 October, 7pm, £23.50

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COMEDY: THE HUMBLE QUEST FOR UNIVERSAL GENIUS Late night mayhem comes to the Brighton Comedy Fringe with this fantastic hit comedy quiz show. Friday sees Gerry Howell vs Paul Sweeney, and on Saturday the gloves are off between Thom Tuck and Joey Page. Hosted by Mark Allen and Eli Silverman. Upstairs At Three And Ten, Fri 25 & Sat 26 Oct, 10pm, £9.50/8

EVENTS: BRIGHTON BELGIAN BEER BANQUET First, think of a sumptuous fourcourse meal. Then think about the many Belgian beers you get to experience with each course. Mouth watering yet? Then make sure you don't miss the Belgian Beer Banquet complete with additional entertainment, beer quiz and giveaways. The Freemasons, Weds 23 Oct, 7pm, £35

COMEDY: TOM WEBB – MEGAGAMES Interactive game show where you (yes, you) dictate how much fun you have. Featuring new twists all the old-school faves including Human Hungry Hippos, Crowd Kerplunk and Audience Guess Who? Hosted by the wonderful Mr Tom Webb, an award winning comedian. Upstairs At Three And Ten, Wed 23 Oct, 7.30pm, £8/6.50

EVENT: BRIGHTON TWILIGHT RACE FOR LIFE No, this is not an event to see who can watch all five installments of the Twilight Saga first. This is your chance to run or walk for Cancer Research UK as the light starts to fade and we enter the winter months. Preston Park, Sat 26 Oct, 7pm–10pm, register at www.raceforlife.cancerresearchuk. org/twilight/

COMEDY: JO CAULFIELD – BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW Caustic wit and clever humour come together in another chance to see Jo Caulfield’s (Mock The Week, Have I Got News For You, Michael McIntyre’s Roadshow) show. Ropetackle Centre, Sat 26 Oct, 8pm, £12.50

Enders Game

FILM: ENDER’S GAME (12A) Dir: Gavin Hood Hugo star Asa Butterfield is Ender Wiggin, a highly intellectual boy sent to battle school in space in order to help prevent a second alien invasion from happening on Earth. Released Fri 25 October Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Listings Send your stage listings to: Send your comedy listings to: Send your events listings to: Send your arts listings to: Send your music listings to: Send your club listings to: Send your gay listings to:

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Don’t miss our essential Christmas Gift Guide! To feature your product call Rachel on 01273 818150 ext 105 now!

Gifts for Her – published on 19th November

Images of gifts from a selection available from John Lewis.

026_029_LS651_previews_editorial 18/10/2013 15:59 Page 5 Maggie Claringbould King Creosote



MUSIC: STEVE MASON The former Beta Band member talks to Jeff Hemmings

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

FILM: CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2 (PG) Dir: Cody Cameron, Kris Pearn Flint Lockwood thought his days of larger-than-life food items falling from the sky were over. He thought wrong. Flint and his friends must return to his hometown to stop the machine once again. Released Fri 25 October Showing at Odeon and Cineworld ART: SUBVERSIVE DESIGN From high fashion to high street consumerism, cheeky ceramics to controversial chairs, provocative lamps to ‘rubbish’ jewellery, this major exhibition features the work of Alexander McQueen, Grayson Perry, Viviene Westwood and Leigh Bowery amongst others. Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900. Until 9 March 2014

ART: MARK HOOLEY Mark Hooley aka MNKY Vision exhibits some prints and scribbles of his monsters and ‘greedios’. Art Schism, 87 Gloucester Road. Until 31 October. MUSIC: MARK CHADWICK The Levellers frontman is now based in Lewes, and here he’ll be playing solo, a mix of Levellers’ classics, solo songs, and perhaps the odd cover or two. To reserve tickets call 01273 473076. The Con Club, Sat 26 Oct, 8pm, £10 Devon Sproule

MUSIC: DEVON SPROULE & MIKE O’NEILL Classic American Songstress Sproule has teamed up with fellow Canadian Mike O'Neill, who she met remotely via a project she had set up whereby she spliced videos of herself and others singing duets together, in effect making ‘remote’ duets. She liked what he did so much they ended up teaming up, writing and releasing an album together (Colours) and now touring together. Green Door Store, Mon 28 Oct, 7.30pm, £14 For full details of film times:



ith The Beta Band, Steve Mason, along with Gordon Anderson, released three acclaimed and top 20 albums, before parting ways in 2004. Steve subsequently released music under various monikers including King Biscuit Time and Black Affair before releasing the Boys Outside album in 2009 under his own name. Earlier this year he followed up with the excellent Monkey Minds In The Devil’s Time, a more overtly political album, but still full of carefully crafted and inventive vignettes. Referring to the album’s title Mason says: “Half of it is a buddhist expression; to have a ‘monkey mind’ is an expression a buddhist would use, a mind that finds it difficult to concentrate and gets easily distracted. ‘The devil’s time’ alludes to the grip that the worldwide establishment is throttling all of us with, things like television, consumer capitalism, advertising, all these objects we are distracted by: Saturday night TV, war, fear... fear is sold to us on a daily basis, distracting us from the real enemy which is, in this country, what I would call the establishment, which is primarily made up of banks, the energy companies, the arms industry...” Strong words from Mason, but most definitely heartfelt, and a breath of fresh air in a politically stale music scene that, despite all that is going on around us, is by and large throwing its collective hands up in the air in resignation. “I try and follow world affairs – the hard part is finding some semblance of truth, you have to get your news sources from as many places as possible, to get some picture that resembles the truth. "When I was growing up there was a lot of politics around, almost every scene and every group you were into had some kind of political affiliation, not always overtly like The Redskins, but a lot of these groups had these beliefs that came across in interviews, and they took an interest in things like the miners’ strike. But that completely disappeared. Along with a friend, we started a thing where we are trying to find out what Fife council are proposing with fracking. It's little things that, even though it's just two people meeting Fife Council every now and then. But it's always better to do something rather than nothing at all. Always." Mason is enjoying a renaissance of sorts, Monkey Minds... being his most successful record since The Beta Band. “I’m lucky to have put out two albums in a row which are good... I had massive support form BBC 6 music, and I've got a great record label and management. I’m in a much better situation now, than I was after the Beta Band. That was a spectacularly dark period! Mentally, I’m as a fit as a fiddle, I can pay all my bills, and put food on the table. I’ve still not had to get a job, I’m still making music..." Steve Mason, Concorde 2, Tuesday 29 October, 7.30pm, £16

Follow me: latestjeff

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Gifts for Him – published on 12th November

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L7 Bmusic Good music, eight days a week


t goes without saying that Brighton has a brilliantly rich music scene, without which Bmusic wouldn’t be in existence. It doesn’t always follow , however, that the gigs over a particular seven day stretch are that strong. Fortunately this week is a true indicator of just why our little coastal city is so brilliant, and why we love being involved in its music scene. On Monday we had classic British songstress, Alison Moyet, at the Dome, and V V Brown at Coalition. The delightful Miss Brown is currently touring her second album, after a foray into the fashion world following the success of ‘Crying Blood’ and the rest of her first record. We also saw the rather excellent Porcelain Raft upstairs at The Prince Albert, whilst Komedia slowly swayed to the sounds of nu-psychadelic maestros Temples. The run of great shows continues with Jagwar Ma at The Haunt, who got plaudits galore for their debut album Howlin’, and have spent the summer wowing festival crowds across Europe. Over at The Brighton Centre there is Jake Bugg, still flying from his number one first album/ On Wednesday we’ll be getting the biggest treat, with American chillwave pioneer Washed Out on stage at Concorde 2, backed by a five-piece band. The Haunt will see the most exciting gig of the week, with Lanterns On The Lake bringing their emotive brand of autumnal indie rock to an audience that will have gobbled up their sophomore record, ‘Until The Colours Run’. If that wasn’t enough, Thursday will see a Veronica Falls gig, while the erudite Mr Nick Cave and his band of Bad Seeds will take the stage at the Dome, in what amounts to a homecoming show of sorts. It’s an amazing week of music, and confirms what we’ve always known: Brighton is the best city in England, and that music fans like us feel genuinely privileged to live here. Bmusic have regular open meetings. Please come along and get involved! Check the Facebook page for details:



s Freshers comes to a close the clubs, pubs and partygoers are making way for one of Brighton’s favourite public holidays: Halloween! This Halloween Supercharged brings you two pioneering legends of jungle and drum ‘n’ bass. With the the curator of Digital Soundboy plus DJ Zinc returning to his roots for a very special jungle set, this is one treat not to miss. It takes place Saturday 2 November at Concorde 2. The line-up features SHY FX, DJ Zinc (jungle set!) plus Shift K3y & Dagger Sound System. Shy FX is, without question, one of the original pioneers of the jungle and drum ‘n’ bass scenes; a true innovator for dance music across the globe. Shy’s career has spanned almost 20 years, cementing his name in both the underground and mainstream folk-law. Shy continues to maintain his legendary status, whilst staying true to his art form, and staying relevant and at the forefront of eclectic dance music. DJ Zinc is a true veteran of the UK dance music scene, having been involved as a listener, producer and DJ since falling for rave, acid house and early jungle as a teenager. He’s been deejaying on pirate radio since 1991, made his name producing jungle and drum ‘n’ bass throughout the ‘90s and the first half of last decade – including 1995′s slippery anthem ‘Super Sharp Shooter’ – and has released tracks that have gone on to prove hugely influential, such as 2000′s breaks/garage freak-out ’138 Trek’. Supercharged was recently voted 21 in the top 50 club-nights in the world. Expect line-ups including kream, Benga, Rudimental, Chase & Status, Shy Fx, Friction, Andy C, Foreign Beggars, Gorgon City, Redlight, Rusko, Stanton Warriors, Scratch Perverts, Plump DJ’s, Netsky, DJ Fresh, Krafty Kuts, Lenzman, Opiuo, S.P.Y & Newham Generals to name but a few! Twitter: @_supercharged Instagram: @superchargedbrighton

Words: David Hillier




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Gifts for Kids – published on 26th November

Images of gifts from a selection available from John Lewis.

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>DON’T MISS< FRIDAY, I’M IN LOVE Kick off your weekend with one of the week’s most unique club nights. If you are looking for the best of the diverse, from indie and funk to ‘80s and reggae, take your tail feather down to Coalition and shake it ‘til you can’t shake it no more. Coalition, Fri 25 Oct, 11pm, £3–6 STONELOVE With absolutely nothing but pure classic rock and indie to dance to


Alastair Reid on the Oxjam takeover

all night long, there is nowhere you would rather be than at Digital with great music on a friday night. Digital, Fri 25 Oct, 11pm, £3–6


XXY To all boys who like girls who like boys who like boys... and so on. Fill your saturday night with sounds of hip hop, classic R’n’B and just a touch of grime at one of the hottest nights in Brighton. Smack, Sat 26 Oct, 8pm, £3–5 SKATADAYS The very best of vintage Jamaican sound from ska, Rocksteady and the happy beats of original Reggae. Skatadays is Riki Tik’s Saturday night regular with free entry and 24-1 cocktails available from 5–9pm. Riki Tik, Sat 26 Oct, 9pm–3am, free

Pic Tom Scrace



lot of people have a hard time comprehending the notion of charity, especially when it comes to foreign aid. I should rephrase that, the problem isn’t charity itself per se, more the idea of being asked to contribute to the wellbeing of another in a distant country. The objection normally treads painfully close to ex-UKIP blunderbomb Godfrey Bloom's “bongo bongo land” speech and, yes, times are hard but supporting those weaker than yourself is the hallmark of a mature and conscientious society, be that nationally or internationally. If you can’t, then don’t; if you can, do. In a past life I was employed by a charity to call people who had expressed an interest and ask if they would like to help send children orphaned by AIDS in Zambia to school. I cut all the heartstring-pulling, guilt-trip guff out of the script and went for economic factors: break the cycle of poverty and break the need for charity. I earned far more for the charity than I was paid but would regularly be met by bile-spitting Bloomites who never let a good fact get in the way of their prejudices and who did their best to insult me and the cause in the name of excusing their lack of will or ability to help. One particularly vindictive woman called me a “little s***” before declaring that all the girls should be sterilised and all the boys given the chop as “they have too many kids over there”. Charming. After ten minutes of attempted reasoning I lost my rag and called her a racist til she hung up, getting fired in the process, but if she didn’t want to contribute she could have just said no. It’s that simple. This Saturday is the Oxjam Brighton takeover: 40 bands in 10 venues across the city with all-access passes going for a fiver. Now, developing countries are largely the result of national borders drawn on the back of a fag packet by departing colonial masters, jerking historically different cultures and peoples under one flag, leading to civil war and genocide. American, European and Chinese corporations continue to plunder the natural resources of countries inadequately equipped to take full advantage themselves and sell the product back at a monstrous mark up. Then there’s all the Bangladeshi workers in crumbling warehouses making £100 trainers. So if you’ve got a fiver and like music, go; if you don’t, that’s absolutely fine. I promise I’ll be more fun next week.


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Gifts for the Home – out 3rd December

Images of gifts from a selection available from John Lewis.

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L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 822 – 28 OCTOBER

With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

It pains most Aries when they realise that they need other people to help them accomplish their dreams. However, with your ruler Mars asserting himself through your sixth house, success comes when you take the lead. Learn a new skill.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

You’re currently being asked to see the world through the opposite point of view. Others may not be playing ball, so it is really up to you to try and understand why. Things turn in your favour when you stop speaking and start listening.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

Your ruler goes retrograde so this week you may need to go over old ground before you can make that decisive move forward. While delays at work or disruptions in your routine may be a nuisance, think of it as a blessing as you bide more time.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

Erotic desire seems paramount. You may be seduced by the sensation of your own lust, leaving you to forgo your usual senses. Remember, the more you are enraptured by desire, the more you are vulnerable to the manipulations of others.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

Your sunny ruler moves into the homely sector of your chart to join serious Saturn and a rather brooding and thoughtful Mercury. You may feel inclined to retreat a little into your inner depths opting for some privacy, although you are averse to looking back, revisiting your past can be cathartic now.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

While your ruler is deep in thought in excavating Scorpio, a need for concrete bottom liners becomes necessary. As you seek transformation, it may help to take a systematic approach. Mars moves into your sign bringing motivation.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

Clearly you've got some financial negotiating to do as Mercury retrogrades in your house of finances, to buy you some time. At first you may come up against a brick wall, but you mustn’t think of set backs as the end, they are merely serving as guides to help you navigate the territory.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

With conversational Mercury retrograding in your sign, studious Saturn and the illuminating Sun chipping away at your outer personality, you're going through a process of reform. One that requires you to think, work and shine. Just don't be in a hurry to reach conclusions.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

Your ruler may find meaning in the exotic and erotic as this week’s Lilith conjunction infers the need to get back to basics and rediscover your primal urges. While on the one hand you aspire to the heavens in pursuit of truth, Lilith can be a distraction, or a part of the experience that takes you there.

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

While you like to plan the future, there are always the inevitable disruptions that you can't factor in. As this week reveals the think tank Mercury in retrograde motion and ambitious Saturn in transforming Scorpio, review your aspirations.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

What you know and what you aspire to know are worlds apart. As this week draws your attention to aspects of your education, it may be time to really involve yourself in pursuit of a new course of study. There is however, no need to rush.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

Your income may be changing its source as forces behind the veil are pushing the transformation forward. While it is likely you will land that job or be offered that bonus, the process is far from complete. Learn to improvise as the ever spinning wheel means everything is in flux. Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

Telly Talk With Victoria Nangle

...Spoiling us T

he thing about getting older is that the friends you had when you were younger and doing stupid things accumulate years too and can end up in some rather responsible jobs. I know. Who’d’ve thought it? Anyway, it’s due to this passing of time and not to any latter day networking that I’ve ended up knowing a couple of people in my time in the diplomatic corps. So it was with their stories echoing in the back of my head that I settled down to watch the latest Mitchell and Webb endeavour that is the comedy drama Ambassadors. The premise is quite straightforward: David Mitchell is the rather green and reasonably freshly arrived British ambassador to the fictional Central Asian Republic of Tazbekistan. Robert Webb is his already deeply entrenched in the landscape number two. Right, I thought. Just like in Yes, Minister. No, not like Yes, Minister. Although Ambassadors is filled with very funny bits it’s also an opportunity for the comedy duo to flex their dramatic acting muscles as it does tackle some actual serious international balancing acts. Drawing from such influences as diverse as Drop The Dead Donkey, Nancy Mitford and The Muppets – as far as I can see – Ambassadors lampoons militant human rights actioneers with the same breath that it condones deliberately blind international arms dealings. This is an office trying to work together as much as any other, whilst at the same time fast in the knowledge that their every action is being watched by prying eyes and could well be representing Britain on an international stage. No pressure then. As much as it looks at the larger picture, this is a small country, a distant outposting, and not too many bods to get a lot of work done. Culture clashes abound, some ringing as soundly as a cymbal marking the end of any symphony. But that’s only on the inside of this fictional world. On the outside this has all the production values you’d expect to find from a three-part BBC special, including location shoots, multiple locations and a talented ensemble cast. There are many layers and opinions to be found within Ambassadors, carefully shaking you into

thinking rather than simply thinking the one thing one writer or producer would like to be the ‘message’ of the piece. The only ‘message’ of this piece in the job of the diplomatic service is hard and not as glamorous as we’d like to think. My favourite detail of the piece are the two Tazbeki men, completely disconnected from the rest of the action, listening in on the bugged exchanges of the embassy like a subtitled Statler and Waldorf. Very funny asides as they spill their crisps and scratch themselves.

“...listening in on the bugged exchanges of the embassy like a subtitled Statler and Waldorf” There are lots of surprising and enjoyable details to be found here, not least of which is that Robert Webb is actually rather good at acting. I always got the impression that Mitchell and Webb were pretty much playing versions of themselves in Peep Show, an idea not dissipated by the persona David Mitchell inhabits on all of the panel shows. Whereas Mitchell’s ambassador is not that big a jump from that, it’s quite a relief to see Robert Webb play someone who’s got more going on upstairs than the musings of the ineffectual Jezza. It’s a shame there are only going to be three episodes of Ambassadors. It has pulled off that elusive trick of not simply filling the first episode with cumbersome exposition, and with intelligent questions being asked, although this isn’t exactly how I imagine my diplomatic drinking pals fill their days, I can see it tickling them beyond belief. Well done the BBC. Ambassadors, BBC2, Wednesday 23 October 2013

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035_LS651_TV_tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 16/10/2013 11:04 Page 1

tuesday 22 The Wrong Mans BBC2, 9pm Sam and Phil have a plan. It may well be a cunning one. Having agreed to take care of the hunted Marat they take him back to Phil’s mum’s, who turns out to be remarkably resourceful. Anyway, the boys want shot, so arrange to hand Marat over to MI5. That’ll work, right? You can trust that Agent Smoke! Can’t you?

Masters Of Sex Channel 4, 9pm The thing about collecting data in a brothel, is that there are so many external factors influencing your results you may just find the whole experiment becomes skewed. This 1950s-set drama at the start of the sexual revolution sees William and Virginia delve deep and realise they may just have to go back to the hospital.

Celebrity Juice ITV2, 10pm It’s an X Factor special of the ridiculous panel show, with team captains Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton joined by presenters Dermot O’Leary and Caroline Flack, as well as judges Louis Walsh and Nicole Scherzinger. Quite a coup! You can bet Keith Lemon will introduce a new tone to them all.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Keeping Up Appearances 2.45 Keeping Up Appearances 3.15 Perfection 4.00 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. 7.30 EastEnders The pressure mounts for Ian when he receives his court summons, but will he be able to keep his cool? 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Harry ends up on the wrong side of Gemma when an old friend turns up on AAU. Blinded by his own guilt over the car crash, Arthur struggles to realise what Chantelle really needs. And Mo’s day goes from bad to worse when the men in her life make her question her romantic choices. 9.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Nick Knowles and team head to Halifax to help a family whose eight-year-old son Josh is paralysed and can only access two rooms in the house. The family home needs a major overhaul and the DIY SOS Team are helped by an army of local trades people. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Fox Wars Documentary looking at the issue of the 33,000 urban foxes roaming Britain’s suburbia. 11.20 FILM: A Simple Plan (1998) Starring Bill Paxton, Billy Bob Thornton, Bridget Fonda. Thriller. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 News

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Real Rescues 7.50 Britain’s Empty Homes 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 Antiques Roadshow 10.05 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Classic Mastermind 1.30 Cash In The Attic 2.15 Great British Menu 2.45 Floyd On Fish 3.15 Are You Being Served? 3.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.15 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Flog It! 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball is joined by the couple who narrowly escaped elimination. 7.00 The Great British Bake Off Revisited The competitors from the class of 2012 talk candidly about their experience of taking part in the baking competition and give an insight into life in the Bake Off tent. 8.00 The Great British Bake Off Ten home bakers take part in a bakeoff to test their baking skills. 9.00 The Wrong Mans See highlights. 9.30 The Sarah Millican Television Programme Sarah Millican with special guests, historian Dan Cruikshank, money-man Martin Lewis, and Made in Chelsea star Gabriella Ellis. 10.00 Later... With Jools Holland Iconic music programme. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Trust Me, I’m A Doctor Going behind the headlines to answer topical medical and health questions. 12.20am Sign Zone: America’s Stoned Kids 4.00 Pompeii: The Mystery Of The People Frozen In Time – Learning Zone 4.30 Tales From The Old Bailey 4.45 Tales From The Old Bailey 5.00 Life On Planet Ant – Learning Zone 5.25 Curious Cat 5.55 Wonders Of Nature: Meerkats – Friendship

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 According To Jim 7.25 Will And Grace 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.00 Four Rooms 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Gordon Ramsay’s Home Cooking 12.35 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 1.05 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 1.20 FILM: 40 Guns To Apache Pass (1967) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Holly is left gobsmacked by Cindy’s revelation. With health results looming, how will Tony cope under the pressure? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Double Your House For Half The Money In Elstree, Hertfordshire, Sarah Beeny meets Oliver and Lucie Herman, whose £900,000 property once doubled as a dentist’s surgery. They have taken on the challenge of transforming the building into a stunning new home with a whopping £200,000 to spend. 9.00 Masters Of Sex See highlights. 10.10 London Irish Sitcom. It’s the morning after St Patrick’s Day and the gang wake up in a strange flat in East London. They have no idea how they got there or what happened last night, but half of Conor’s Twix is missing, Packy’s legs are hurting and the notorious Aoife McBride keeps calling him. 10.40 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr hosts the topical comedy panel game. 11.30 The Simpsons 11.55 The Simpsons 12.25am Random Acts 12.30 And Monte-Carlo Casino 1.25 KOTV Boxing 1.50 Beach Volleyball 2.45 VW Racing Cup 3.10 FIA GT Series 4.05 Cardiff Half Marathon5.00 River Rat Race 5.25 SuperScrimpers 5.40 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Animal Maternity 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 CSI: NY 3.10 FILM: Mary Higgins Clark: Try To Remember (2004) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Roo and Brax think the worst of Casey after a dishevelled Maddy rushes out of his caravan and refuses to talk about what happened. 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Jungle Babies Documentary series about two families of tarsiers. 7.30 The Dog Rescuers Documentary series following the work of RSPCA officers. 8.00 New Cowboy Builders Melinda and Dom are in Bottisham, near Cambridge, on the trail of a cowboy who builds new homes but overcharges massively for his work. 9.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The team unravels three twisted tales of love in a trio of separate murder cases on Valentine’s Day. 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. A riot threatens to break out at a Manhattan precinct. 10.55 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The body of a missing woman leads Mac to a serial killer who imprisons his victims. 11.50 Dennis Nilsen’s First Kill: Countdown To Murder Documentary on one of Britain’s most notorious ever serial killers, Dennis Nilsen. 12.50am True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 1.15 SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters 4.20 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Divine Designs 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Monday Night Football 11.30 SPFL Round-Up 12.00pm FL72 Review 1.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Ford Monday Night Football 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 Premier League Review 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sportswomen 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Premier League Review 12.00am Champions League Goals 1.00 Sportswomen 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Premier League Review 4.00 Champions League Goals 5.00 Revista De La Liga

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A scorned woman toys with the idea of ruining one of the villager’s lives. Cain is displeased to learn of Moira’s plans to sell the farm. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Arsenal V Borussia Dortmund Arsenal face Borussia Dortmund as the Gunners seek a third straight win in the competition this season. They face a tough test against Jurgen Klopp’s impressive side, who only narrowly lost the Champions League Final to Bayern Munich at Wembley Stadium in May. Adrian Chiles is joined in the studio by Lee Dixon and Roy Keane, and commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time A busy night for British clubs as Arsenal entertain last season’s beaten finalists Borussia Dortmund. Managed by the charismatic Jurgen Klopp and powered by the goals of Robert Lewandowski, the German giants will provide a stern test for Arsene Wenger’s side. 11.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA American version of his talk show. 12.20am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Sky Sports 2 6.00am SPFL Round-Up 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Trilby Tour Golf 10.00 European Tour Golf 11.00 PGA Tour Golf 12.00pm Kolon Korean Open 1.00 Trilby Tour Golf 2.00 European Tour Golf 3.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Trilby Tour Golf 5.00 Sports Unlimited 6.00 UK Angling Championships 6.30 Golfing World 7.00 LIVE Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 V8 Supercars 12.00am British Motocross Championship 1.00 Golf: PGA National Championship 2.00 Eightball Pool 3.00 British Motocross 4.00 Golf: PGA National Championship 5.00 Eightball Pool

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Ford Monday Night Football 8.30 SPFL Round-Up 9.00 NFL 11.00 Spruce Meadows 1.00pm SPFL Round-Up 1.30 Thrillseekers 2.00 Road To Kona Ironman 2.30 Sporting Greats 3.00 Spruce Meadows 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 Road To Kona Ironman 7.30 LIVE Champions League 10.00 Golfing World 10.30 Angling 11.00 World Series Of Poker 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 V8 Supercars 2.00 World Series Of Poker 3.00 Golfing World 3.30 Sportswomen 4.00 V8 Supercars 5.00 Sports Unlimited Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








8.00am Stargate SG-1 (x2) 10.00 NCIS: LA (x4) 2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Middle (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (3) 8.00 Glee 9.00 Revolution 10.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Ross Kemp In The Middle East

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.00 Gavin & Stacey (x2) 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 Sweat The Small Stuff 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Sweat The Small Stuff 1.00 New: Don’t Tell The Bride 2.00 Some Girls 2.30 Staying In With Greg And Russell

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Britain From Above 8.00 Operation Mincemeat 9.00 The Art Of Australia 10.00 Storyville: Smash And Grab - The Story Of The Pink Panthers 11.30 Pain, Pus And Poison: The Search For Modern Medicines 12.30am Pandemic: A Horizon Guide 1.30 Britain From Above

4.10pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 Big Rich Texas 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(x2) 8.00 Peter Andre: My Life 9.00 The Magaluf Weekender 10.00 Celebrity Juice. See highlights. 10.50 Tricked 11.50 Freshers 12.50am The Vampire Diaries (x2)

11.00am Murder, She Wrote (x2) 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Wild At Heart 3.05 Hamish Macbeth 4.15 The Upper Hand 4.50 Second Thoughts 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Midsomer Murders 10.00 A Mother’s Son 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.00am Bomb Girls

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 Rules Of Engagement 9.30 Happy Endings 10.00 FILM: The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad! (1988) 11.45 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.45am The Cleveland Show 1.15 90210

11.10am FILM: Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951) 1.30pm Time Team (x3) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Summer Sun 5.45 Location, Location, Location 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Building The Dream 10.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 11.05 24 Hours In A&E 12.10am The Good Wife

11.00am The Desert Fox (1951) 12.45pm The Spy In Black (1936) 2.20 True Grit (1969) 4.55 The Prince And The Pauper (1978) 7.15 Nacho Libre (2006) 9.00 X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) 11.05 Idiocracy (2006) 12.45am Shutter (2008) 2.25 The Cat Returns (2002) 4.00 Close

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wednesday 23 Wentworth Prison Channel Five, 10pm You know that thing that could push Bea over the edge? That could either crush her or make her into the Top Dog we remember? So, Debbie’s death has hit Bea hard. And Erica refuses to relax the rules to allow Bea permission to go to the funeral. Oh, and Jacs realises she may have gone too far. Yup.

How To Find The Perfect Flatmate Channel 4, 10.45pm With the average age a Brit can expect to buy their first home now having reached 38, the rental market is more competitive than ever – along with the market for the perfect flatmate. Covering speed flatmate events, elaborate interview processes and more, in the hunt for good home living.

Storyville: The Great Hip Hop Hoax BBC4, 10pm Would you rather buy a hip-hop record by two lads from Dundee or from two dudes from CailfornI-A? Well, they’re the same people, but it would seem the record industry prefer the chaps from Stateside. This is the true story of two audacious fellows who duped the music men. Word.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Keeping Up Appearances 2.45 Keeping Up Appearances 3.15 Perfection 4.00 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Real Rescues 7.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 8.15 Wanted Down Under 9.00 Meerkats: Secrets Of An Animal Superstar 10.00 Plan It, Build It 10.30 See Hear 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm Lifeline 1.10 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 1.30 Cash In The Attic 2.15 Great British Menu 2.45 Floyd On Fish 3.15 Are You Being Served? 3.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.15 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Flog It!

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.35am The Hoobs 7.00 According To Jim 7.25 Will And Grace 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.00 Four Rooms 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Gordon Ramsay’s Home Cooking 12.35 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 1.05 FILM: The African Queen (1951) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons

6.00am Champions League Goals 7.00 Premier League Review 8.00 Revista De La Liga 8.55 LIVE ODI Cricket 5.30pm Champions Tour Golf 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 Inside The PGA Tour 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 What’s The Story? 11.00 Sporting Heroes 12.00am Champions League Goals 1.00 What’s The Story? 2.00 Futbol Mundial 2.30 Football Gold 3.00 Champions League Goals 4.00 Sporting Heroes 5.00 Football Gold 5.30 LIVE European Tour Golf

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Watchdog Consumer series. The team investigates packaged bank accounts and the rising cost of train fares. 9.00 The Great British Year Documentary series showing Britain’s changing look over the course of a year. The fading sun brings an energy change to Britain: a time of storms and unpredictable weather. The trees go dormant, but not before a final fling of colour. For animals, the shortening days are a cue to prepare, hibernating and hoarding for the dark times ahead. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Father Figure Sitcom. The balance of the Whyte family household is rocked when Elaine makes the surprise announcement that she thinks she might be pregnant. 11.05 A Question Of Sport Sports quiz, with Sue Barker asking the questions to regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. 11.35 FILM: Is Anybody There? (2008) Starring Michael Caine, David Morrissey, Anne-Marie Duff. Bittersweet tale of an unusual friendship. 1.05am Weatherview 1.10 News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball has all the gossip and exclusive news from Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Nigellissima Nigella Lawson continues to show how easy it is to bring the spirit of Italy into the kitchen and on to the plate. 7.30 Nigellissima Nigella Lawson continues to show how easy it is to bring the spirit of Italy into the kitchen and on to the plate. 8.00 The House That £100k Built Property programme. 9.00 Ambassadors Programme focussing on the people mysteriously drawn to cylindrical chocolates and spoiling us. 10.00 The Culture Show: The Art Of Chinese Painting The ancient art of Chinese painting is one of the oldest continuous artistic traditions in history. Kate Bryan, former Hong Kong resident and the Fine Art Society’s head of contemporary, travels to China to find out more about this tradition. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 David Attenborough’s Rise Of Animals: Triumph Of The Vertebrates 12.20am Sign Zone: See Hear 4.00 Just A Few Drinks 4.25 Your Body: Your Image (x4) 5.00 Counting With Rodd

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain presents Moira with a surprising proposition. A fertility kit arrives at the Spencers. Vanessa feels snubbed when Rhona keeps her distance. 7.30 Coronation Street Have Roy and Hayley reached an impasse? Compassionate Tina leaves Tommy furious. Tim lets Sally down again. 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot Detective drama featuring Agatha Christie’s celebrated sleuth Hercule Poirot. With the world on the brink of the Second World War, there is more political turmoil when it appears that the famous Peace Party is in fact a cover for the war-mongering organisation Big Four. This complex investigation reunites Poirot with his old friend Japp, as they investigate a case marked by deception, disappearances and death. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Exposure Current affairs strand presenting new documentary films on a range of powerful and controversial subjects, investigating foreign and domestic topics, and reporting on issues that resonate. 11.35 James Nesbitt’s Ireland James Nesbitt continues his eightpart guided tour of Ireland. 12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 Murder, She Wrote: A Story To Die 4.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.30 Hollyoaks Teen soap. Tony takes a trip down memory lane with Diane, but their plans are thrown into chaos when Diane’s waters break and she is rushed into hospital. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 River Cottage To The Core Cookery series in which Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall attempts to revolutionise the way we use fruit in food preparation. The River Cottage gang are invited to a local sports day and give all the games a fruity twist in exchange for providing delicious picnic food. 9.00 Grand Designs Series following householders who are on a mission to completely redesign and redecorate their homes from top to bottom. This episode features a master craftsman whose dream is to build a castle made entirely of mud. 10.00 Gogglebox Television review comedy series narrated by Caroline Aherne. 10.45 How To Find The Perfect Flatmate See highlights. 11.50 Up All Night: The Nightclub Toilet Documentary filmed across four nights inside the toilets of a lively Crawley nightclub. 12.45am Random Acts 12.50 FILM: Sant Tukaram (1955) 3.10 FILM: Living Free (1972) 4.45 Superscrimpers’ Challenge 5.40 Deal Or No Deal

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Milkshake! Monkey 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Milkshake! Monkey 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 New Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Railway: First Great Western 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Stranger With My Face (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Cheryl, the Braxton matriarch, arrives for Heath and Bianca’s wedding and immediately gives Kyle and Tamara a piece of her mind. 6.30 NewsTalk Live T 7.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge Robson is in Texas. There he hunts for a monster catch, hits the Gulf of Mexico and fishes for shark from a beach. 8.00 Animal Maternity Documentary series. Frankie the giraffe has given birth in the middle of the herd at Woburn Safari Park. But now she is being pestered for milk by all the other young giraffes. 9.00 Saving Britain’s 70-Stone Man Documentary following one man’s mission to lose weight and save his own life. Keith Martin weighs 70 stone and has not left his home in 11 years or moved from his bed in two. Too big to walk, wash, or even go to the toilet, Keith is desperate to gain independence. 10.00 Wentworth Prison See highlights. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Ray and Sara attempt to get to the bottom of a retired CIA director’s death. 12.00am The Big Game 12.55 SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters 4.20 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Divine Designs 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Sports Unlimited 10.00 Premier League Review 11.00 Sportswomen 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30pm Champions League Goals 1.30 Premier League Review 2.30 Revista De La Liga 3.30 Champions League Goals 4.30 LIVE Champions League 7.30 LIVE Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Futbol Mundial 11.30 Football Gold 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 Fishing Gurus 1.00 ODI Cricket 2.00 Watersports World 3.00 Total Rugby 3.30 Fishing Gurus 4.00 ODI Cricket 5.00 Trans World Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am UK Angling Championships 6.30 Football Gold 7.00 WWE Vintage 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 V8 Supercars 10.00 British Motocross 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm V8 Supercars 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 British Motocross 3.00 Eightball Pool 4.00 Powerboating 4.30 WWE: The Bottom Line 5.30 WWE Afterburn 6.30 Fishing Gurus 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 ODI Cricket 9.00 World Series Squash 10.00 ODI Cricket 11.00 Asian Tour Golf 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Inside The PGA Tour 1.00 Champions Tour Golf 2.00 Asian Tour Golf 3.00 European Tour Weekly 3.30 Inside The PGA Tour 4.00 World Series Squash 5.00 Max Power Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








10.00am NCIS: LA (x4) 2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Middle (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 LIVE: Live UEFA Champions League 10.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning Of Life 11.00 A League Of Their Own: Unseen 12.00am Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Unsafe Sex In The City 10.00 Staying In With Greg And Russell 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Unsafe Sex In The City 1.30 Staying In With Greg And Russell 2.00 Cherry Healey

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Britain From Above 8.00 Heritage! The Battle For Britain’s Past 9.00 Medieval Lives: Birth, Marriage, Death 10.00 Storyville: The Great Hip Hop Hoax. See highlights. 11.30 Public Enemy: Prophets Of Rage 12.30am The Art Of Fly Fishing: Kiss The Water

12.30pm Emmerdale 1.00 Holiday Showdown 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 Big Rich Texas 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 9.00 Freshers 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.50 FILM: Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) 1.05am Up All Night

12.00pm Murder, She Wrote 1.00 Heartbeat 2.00 Wild At Heart 3.05 Hamish Macbeth 4.15 The Upper Hand 4.45 Second Thoughts 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 The Zoo (x2) 10.00 Wycliffe 11.05 Law & Order: UK 12.10am The Ruth Rendell Mysteries

3.00pm New Girl 3.30 Suburgatory 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007) 10.00 Misfits 11.00 Made In Chelsea 12.05am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

11.25am FILM: King Solomon’s Mines (1950) 1.30pm Time Team (x3) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Summer Sun 5.45 Location, Location, Location 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 10.00 Catching A Killer: Crocodile Tears 11.10 Embarrassing Bodies 12.15am The Good Wife

11.00am The House On 92nd Street (1945) 12.45pm The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 3.05 The Fighting Kentuckian (1949) 5.00 When Eight Bells Toll (1971) 6.50 The Women (2008) 9.00 Clear And Present Danger (1994) 11.45 Submarine (2010) 1.35am Mary And Max (2009) 3.35 Close

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thursday 24 Truckers BBC1, 9pm Steven is a trucker, and makes the most of his transient life by being promiscuous, feckless and a bit of a bounder. So when he find out that his two sons are living nearby and not abroad, as he was led to believe, he kidnaps them for the day out of spite. Funny thing is, he ends up bonding with the boys. Ahhh.

My Crazy New Jamaican Life Channel 4, 11.05pm A documentary about two British women with a love for all things Jamaican and their lives living in the island paradise. Debbie has three children with Jamaicanborn Variel, but has just discovered that he is about to have a child with another woman. Holly wants to join the world of X-rated Jamaican bashment.

Arena: National Theatre – Part One, The Dream BBC4, 9pm The National Theatre is a national treasure, with stars as varied as Lawrence Olivier and Lenny Henry treading the boards, with odd show from the likes of Daniel Kitson and John Malkovich. Innovative and inventive, there is so much to look at, so we’ll start right here with The Dream.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Keeping Up Appearances 2.45 Keeping Up Appearances 3.15 Perfection 4.00 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show. 7.30 EastEnders Michael continues in his quest to bring down Janine, and marvels at how easy it is to make Alice do exactly what he wants. Peter is put in a predicament when he is forced to choose between saving his own family or the family of his close friend. Worried about how she is going to pay the bills, Lauren is left with no other choice than to go into business with someone she doesn’t trust. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Waterloo Road School-based drama. The staff and pupils of Waterloo Road get all dressed up for living history week. Christine is looking to impress a visiting Robert Bain, but Simon is on a mission to prove what a bad headteacher she is. 9.00 Truckers See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the topical debate from Liverpool. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, with Michael Portillo and guests. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 BBC News

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Real Rescues 7.50 Britain’s Empty Homes 8.20 Wanted Down Under 9.05 The Ottomans: Europe’s Muslim Emperors 10.05 Plan It, Build It 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Classic Mastermind 1.30 Cash In The Attic 2.15 Great British Menu 2.45 Floyd On Britain And Ireland 3.15 Are You Being Served? 3.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.15 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Flog It!

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.35am The Hoobs 7.00 According To Jim 7.25 Will And Grace 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.00 Four Rooms 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Gordon Ramsay’s Home Cooking 12.35 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 1.05 FILM: Wake Of The Red Witch (1949) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.30 PGA Tour Golf 12.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Champions League Goals 2.00 European Tour Golf 6.00 Ringside 7.00 FL72 Preview 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 Ringside 10.00 NFL: A Football Life 11.00 FL72 Preview 12.00am NFL: A Football Life 1.00 LIVE NFL 4.30 FL72 Preview 5.30 Live European Tour Golf

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball presents all the backstage gossip and behind-thescenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Nigellissima Nigella Lawson continues to show how easy it is to bring the spirit of Italy into the kitchen and on to the plate. 7.30 Nigellissima Nigella Lawson continues to show how easy it is to bring the spirit of Italy into the kitchen and on to the plate. 8.00 Trust Me, I’m A Doctor Going behind the adverts, headlines and health advice to provide information you need to live healthily. Michael Mosley and the team of doctors are in Lancaster to test if trees could be the answer to a hidden health threat that kills 29,000 people a year – air pollution. 9.00 No Sex Please, We’re Japanese A look at the Japanese courting practises. 10.00 Mock The Week Again Comedy show. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Iceland Foods: Life In The Freezer Cabinet Series following the fortunes of Iceland supermarkets. 12.20am The Review Show: Man Booker Special 1.20 Sign Zone: Panorama 3.45 Apprentice For A Day 4.25 True Stories 5.25 Formula 1 2013

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain is tempted by a criminal opportunity. 7.30 When The Drugs Don’t Work: Tonight With winter fast approaching, it is the time of year when many people start complaining of sore throats, coughs, colds and flu – but an appointment with your local GP and a course of antibiotics may not be the answer. 8.00 Emmerdale Beloved villager Alan Turner passes away. 8.30 Britain’s Secret Treasures Comedian Vic Reeves tries to unlock the mystery of an ancient helmet. 9.00 Breathless Drama series set in 1961, following a group of doctors at a London hospital. Charlie is left anxious and distracted after a brush with the law which could have disastrous consequences in the operating theatre. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan’s guests tonight are QPR manager Harry Redknapp, fiery celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, football hero Frank Lampard and the highly regarded actor Julie Walters. 11.40 The Last Word Phil Hornby discusses the big issues. 12.10am Jackpot247 3.00 When The Drugs Don’t Work: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Little Princess 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Criminals: Caught On Camera 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Eve Of Destruction 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The truth is out and Heath is on the receiving end of everyone’s wrath. 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Police Interceptors Observational documentary series. A stick of dynamite is brought into Carlisle’s main police station. 8.00 Benidorm ER Documentary series. We follow Dr Ismael Torres on a mercy dash to the hotel room of scouser James, who is in dire need of a dose of laxatives. 9.00 The Butcher Boy: Countdown To Murder Documentary series telling the stories behind some of the UK’s most high-profile murder cases. This episode explores the case of Roderick Newall, who in 1987 killed his wealthy parents in their Jersey home and then enlisted the help of his elder brother, Mark, to cover it up. 10.00 Person Of Interest American crime series. Reese discovers how the machine provides social security numbers but is frustrated when it fails to help him track down Root and Finch. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent US police drama series. Goren and Eames investigate when a philanthropist, who is funding a research grant, is found murdered. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Divine Designs 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Danny makes a surprise announcement that knocks his family for six. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces George meets a couple who bought a tiny 60s ambulance, planning to transform it into a camper van where the family of six can cook, eat and sleep. He also meets an artist who has commissioned an incredible giant wooden floating egg to use as a work and living space. 9.00 Educating Yorkshire Documentary series exploring life at a school. It’s the final months of school and the Year 11 students are preparing for life beyond Thornhill. 10.00 Up All Night: The Minicab Office Documentary. On a Saturday night in Norwich, Courtesy Taxis is a go-to place for the legions of revellers heading home when the pubs and clubs close their doors. 11.05 My Crazy New Jamaican Life See highlights. 12.10am 999: What’s Your Emergency? 1.05 Random Acts 1.10 Date My Porn Star 2.05 Embarrassing Bodies: Live From The Clinic 3.00 Unreported World 3.30 Secrets Of Your Pay Packet: Channel 4 Dispatches 4.00 Superscrimpers’ Challenge 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.50 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 What’s The Story? 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 Fishing Gurus 12.00pm What’s The Story? 1.00 Champions Tour Golf 2.00 What’s The Story? 3.00 LIVE Tennis 9.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 9.30 WWE: Late Night Raw 11.30 WWE NXT 12.30am WWE Special 1.30 FL72 Preview 2.30 Rugby Club 3.30 Ringside 4.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.00 Rugby Club

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Total Rugby 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 Sporting Heroes 9.00 Total Rugby 9.30 Fishing Gurus 10.00 ODI Cricket 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Sporting Heroes 2.00 ODI Cricket 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Champions League Goals 4.30 WWE Vintage 5.30 WWE Special 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 Thinking Tackle 8.00 European Tour Golf 9.00 PGA Tour Golf 10.00 Champions Tour Golf 11.00 Rugby Club 12.00am European Tour Golf 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 2.00 European Tour Golf 3.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Champions Tour Golf 5.00 European Tour Golf

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








8.00am Stargate SG-1 (x2) 10.00 NCIS: LA (x4) 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Middle (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Trollied 9.30 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance 10.30 Road Wars (x4) 2.00am Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Road Wars 4.00 Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Traffic Cops 9.00 Hotel Of Mum And Dad 10.00 Live At The Apollo 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Staying In With Greg And Russell 1.05 Sweat The Small Stuff 1.35 Hotel Of Mum And Dad 2.30 Unsafe Sex In The City 3.30 Some Girls

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1978 8.00 Tales From The Royal Bedchamber 9.00 Arena: National Theatre - Part One, The Dream. See highlights. 10.00 Muse Of Fire: A Shakespearean Road Movie 11.00 Impact! A Horizon Guide To Car Crashes 12.00am The Art Of Australia

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 Big Rich Texas 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 The X Factor USA 9.00 Tricked 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.50 The Magaluf Weekender 11.50 Crazy Beaches 12.20am The Only Way Is Essex 1.05 Tricked

2.00pm Wild At Heart 3.05 Hamish Macbeth 4.15 The Upper Hand 4.50 Second Thoughts 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey 10.00 Afterlife 11.05 Law & Order: UK 12.05am The Specsavers Crime Thriller Club

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 Don’t Trust The B— In Apartment 23 9.30 Suburgatory 10.00 Educating Essex 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am Rude Tube 1.00 Happy Endings 1.30 Misfits

11.40am FILM: The Virgin Queen (1955) 11.30 TBA 1.30pm Time Team (x3) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Location, Location, Location 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Restoration Man 10.00 Scandal 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.05am The Good Wife 1.05 Grand Designs

11.00am Floating Clouds (1955) 1.25pm The Cruel Sea (1953) 4.05 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 6.55 X-Men (2000) 9.00 Everything Must Go (2010) 10.55 Law Abiding Citizen (2009) 1.00am Huge (2010) 2.35 A Useful Life (2010) 4.00 Close

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friday 25 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Channel 4, 8pm It’s about time S.H.I.E.L.D. came across a person with super powers, as since that first hiccup with the dude who used to be in Angel blowing up, the folk have been decidedly regular. The gang go to Asia to rescue a young man with an unusual and dangerous power. Is it donut hands? Please!

Man Down Channel 4, 9.30pm So in sitcomland Dan has lost his girlfriend Naomi. Boo! Good thing he’s got best friends like Jo and Brian who have a plan to win her back that involves two bags of mince and a welder called Mad Nobby. Class. Add to that concoction Dan’s dad hitting him with the most devious and sick prank ever. Not a quiet life.

The Who: The Story Of Tommy BBC4, 9pm The star-studded musical universe that made up the tortured world of The Who’s musical ‘Tommy’ is iconic and a remarkable feat, considering the likes of Eric Clapton, Tina Turner and Elton John were just some of the featured stars. Here’s the story behind the remarkable film.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Keeping Up Appearances 2.45 Keeping Up Appearances 3.15 Perfection 4.00 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless

7.10am Real Rescues 7.55 Britain’s Empty Homes 8.25 Flog It! Trade Secrets 9.25 Formula 1 2013 11.15 Animal Park 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Classic Mastermind 1.30 Cash In The Attic 2.15 Great British Menu 2.45 Floyd On Britain And Ireland 3.15 Are You Being Served? 3.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.20 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Flog It!

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.35am The Hoobs 7.00 According To Jim 7.25 Will And Grace 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.00 Four Rooms 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Gordon Ramsay’s Home Cooking 12.35 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 1.05 FILM: Heaven Knows, Mr Allison (1957) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.30 PGA Tour Golf 12.30pm Barclays Premier League World 1.00 FL72 Preview 2.00 European Tour Golf 6.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 Fantasy Football Club 7.30 LIVE Championship 10.00 Fantasy Football Club 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 The F1 Show 12.30am Championship 1.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.00 Fantasy Football Club 3.00 Championship 4.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 4.30 Fantasy Football Club 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will be here. 7.30 Ronnie’s Animal Crackers Ronnie Corbett takes a wry look at the public’s obsession with pets. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders As Michael puts the finishing touches on his carefully laid plan, Alice begins to have second thoughts; will she go through with it? 8.30 Room 101 Frank Skinner referees three celebrities each week as they compete to banish their top peeve or worst nightmare. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz. 9.30 Citizen Khan Sitcom following the trials and tribulations of self-appointed Muslim community leader Mr Khan and his long suffering family. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham Norton presents a chat show. 11.20 Bluestone 42 Comedy drama about a British bomb disposal detachment in Afghanistan. 11.50 FILM: Halloween H20 (1998) Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, Adam Arkin, Michelle Williams, LL Cool J and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. An addition to the long-running horror franchise. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball takes a sneak peek into rehearsals. 7.00 Nigellissima Nigella Lawson continues to show how easy it is to bring the spirit of Italy into the kitchen and on to the plate. 7.30 Nigellissima Nigella Lawson makes yummy food and ignores her own incredible hair. 8.00 Mastermind The subjects are: REM, the fiction of C S Lewis, Queen of the South Football Club and the life of Elizabeth Fry. 8.30 Gardeners’ World With the warm weather on the wane, it’s time to think about preparing our garden borders for next year. 9.00 Killer Whales – Beneath The Surface: Natural World The killer whale was long feared as a sea monster until, in May 1964, one was brought into captivity for the first time. This spawned a journey of discovery into the killer whale’s true nature. 10.00 QI Quiz show. Stephen Fry hosts, with Isy Suttie, Tim Minchin, Bill Bailey and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight 11.05 Later... With Jools Holland Jools’s iconic music programme. 12.10am FILM: Wreckers (2011) 1.30 Sign Zone: Question Time 2.30 Sign Zone: The Paradise

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Moira makes a shock discovery. 7.30 Coronation Street Tina mischievously escalates her bitter row with Tracy. Will Tim finally be honest with himself and Sally? 8.00 Gino’s Italian Escape Chef Gino D’Acampo concludes his culinary journey around his native Italy. 8.30 Coronation Street Has Tina bitten off more than she can chew? Clingy Sally wants it to work with Tim. Dev comes to Chesney’s rescue. 9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Pete Waterman Piers Morgan is joined by Pete Waterman, who reflects on his life and a career which has seen him achieve more number one singles than The Beatles. Pete reveals that, in spite of launching the pop careers of Kylie Minogue, Rick Astley and Jason Donovan, he did not learn how to read and write until he was in his thirties. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Basic Instinct (1992) Starring Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, George Dzundza, Jeanne Tripplehorn. Erotically charged thriller in which a reckless cop falls for the chief suspect in a murder case. 12.55am Jackpot247 3.00 Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle 4.30 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Patrick organises a devious plan, but makes an alarming discovery. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World Reporter Ade Adepitan, director Daniel Bogado and a group of former hospital patients gain access to Mexico’s psychiatric institutions to secretly film the inhumane conditions endured by the thousands of patients known as ‘The Abandoned Ones’. 7.55 8.00 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. See highlights. 9.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr hosts the topical comedy panel game and is joined by team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson and a host of celebrity guests. 9.30 Man Down See highlights. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Amanda Holden discusses her new autobiography, while American actor and musician Jared Leto chats about his rock band Thirty Seconds To Mars. 11.10 Was It Something I Said? Panel show hosted by David Mitchell. 11.55 Gogglebox 12.40am London Irish 1.05 FILM: Crazy Heart (2009) 2.55 Random Acts 3.00 The Big C 3.30 2 Broke Girls 3.55 Don’t Trust The B—— In Apartment 23 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.10 Countdown 5.50 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard

6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Little Princess 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Police Interceptors 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Exploding Sun 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away After Chris’s ultimatum, Indi seeks advice from her friends. Is she ready to move on after Romeo? 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 World’s Strongest Man The 35th running of the international strongman competition from the grounds of the Commerce Casino in Los Angeles. Ten men have earned the right to battle for the title of World’s Strongest Man, among them England’s Terry Hollands. 8.00 Criminals: Caught On Camera Documentary series. 9.00 TV’s 50 Greatest Magic Tricks A countdown of the greatest TV magic tricks of all time. From the astonishing set pieces of Penn and Teller to the mindbending of Derren Brown and the street magic of David Blane, be prepared to be amazed and mystified. Contributions come from magic’s greatest stars, including Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee, new magician wonderkid Dynamo, Penn and Teller, and magic fans Joe Pasquale, Stephen Mulhern, and Dick and Dom. 11.50 Inside Hollywood Get your daily fix of the latest film and TV news from the USA. Presented by Mark Morris. 12.05am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Divine Designs 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am FL72 Preview 7.00 Football Gold 7.15 Football Gold 7.30 LIVE ITM Cup 10.00 Ringside 11.00 FL72 Preview 12.00pm NFL 1.00 LIVE Tennis 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 WWE Special 2.00 Rugby Club 3.00 Ringside 4.00 Asian Tour Golf 4.30 European Tour Golf 5.30 Live European Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Thrillseekers 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 Rugby Club 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm Rugby Club 1.00 Racemax 2.00 Ringside 3.00 Rugby Club 4.00 WWE Special 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 European Tour Golf 9.00 PGA Tour Golf 10.00 NFL 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.00am PGA Tour Golf 1.00 Tight Lines 2.00 European Tour Golf 3.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Tight Lines 5.00 Thinking Tackle

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Middle (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 A League Of Their Own: Unseen 10.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning Of Life 11.00 Trollied 11.30 FILM: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) 1.25am Road Wars

7.00pm Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 7.15 Doctor Who 8.00 Barely Legal Drivers 9.00 Orphan Black (x2) 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 The Cariad Show 12.05am American Dad! (x4) 1.35 Sweat The Small Stuff 2.05 Staying In With Greg And Russell XL 2.50 Unsafe Sex In The City

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Symphony 8.30 Transatlantic Sessions 9.00 The Who: The Story Of Tommy. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Tommy (1975) 11.50 Quadrophenia: Can You See The Real Me? 1.00am Classic Albums 1.55 Punk Britannia At The BBC 2.55 The Who: The Story Of Tommy

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 Big Rich Texas 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 You’ve Been Framed! Calendar Special 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 11.10 FILM: Hannibal (2001) 1.50am All Star Family Fortunes

12.00pm Murder, She Wrote 1.00 Heartbeat 2.00 Wild At Heart 3.05 Hamish Macbeth 4.15 The Upper Hand 4.50 Second Thoughts 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 A Touch Of Frost 10.10 Wire In The Blood 11.10 Law & Order: UK 12.15am FILM: Gregory’s Girl (1981)

3.00pm New Girl 3.30 Suburgatory 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 FILM: Never Been Kissed (1999) 11.05 Rude Tube 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

11.05am Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 11.20 FILM: Tobruk (1967) 1.30pm Time Team (x3) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Summer Sun 5.45 Location, Location, Location 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: The Reader (2008) 11.20 Father Ted (x2) 12.25am The Good Wife 1.25 Labyrinth

11.00am The Sons Of Katie Elder (1965) 1.25pm Housekeeping (1987) 3.40 Zulu (1964) 6.25 King Kong (1976) 9.00 Terminator Salvation (2009) 11.10 The Final Destination (2009) 12.45am Gentlemen Broncos (2009) 2.30 A Town Called Panic (2009) 4.00 Close



Latest TV News

A first glimpse of the Latest TV showroom, with the local news headlines

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saturday 26 The X Factor ITV1, 8pm Two hours! It’s clearly time to start thinking about Christmas when two hours of Saturday night is taken up with X Factor and John McClane is saving his wife again in a snowy US airport on the other side. While the boys preen and look even younger, the girls pose and look a little bit older, the bands may take it all.

FILM: An Education BBC2, 10.40pm Back in 2009 we didn’t know what an international hit Carey Mulligan was set to become, but we could have guessed from this performance. A coming of age film set in the ‘60s, Jenny is a bright teenage girl, set to take her A-Levels and head off to university when she meets older man David, and falls in love.

Bomb Girls ITV3, 10pm Children can be such a pride, and Lorna is beaming from ear to ear at the prospect of her son Gene – ace gunner and wild child on leave to promote war bonds – coming home for a bit. She’s pulled out all the stops to lay on the best dinner party to be had for him. And then the blackout siren sounds and he scarpers.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 8.30 Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix – Qualifying 10.45 Saturday Kitchen Live 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix – Qualifying Replay 2.00 Rugby League: World Cup 4.30 Final Score 5.20 BBC News 5.30 South East Today 5.40 Pointless Celebrities

6.25am Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix – Practice 3 7.35 FILM: Carnival Boat () 8.35 FILM: The Fallen Sparrow (1943) 10.10 Reel History Of Britain 10.40 The Life Of Birds 11.30 Fred Dibnah’s Industrial Age 12.00pm Paul Hollywood’s Bread 12.30 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 1.15 EastEnders 3.05 Coast 3.30 The House That £100k Built 4.30 Rugby League: World Cup

7.00 Flog It! Members of the public are invited to try to make money out of their antiques at auction. 7.30 Killer Whales – Beneath The Surface: Natural World The killer whale was long feared as a sea monster until, in May 1964, one was brought into captivity for the first time. This spawned a journey of discovery into the killer whale’s true nature. 8.30 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Mainwaring and Wilson are in the bank when an unexpected guest drops in. 9.00 The 70s In the final episode of the series, Dominic Sandbrook looks at the closing years of the 70s. He encounters a nation arguing about the future of education and watching Grange Hill, debating the impact of multiculturalism and enjoying The Specials. The Britons were also anxious over youth crime and fiercely arguing about who should pay for austerity in economically troubled times. 10.00 The Sarah Millican Slightly Longer Television Programme Sarah Millican is joined by special guests, historian Dan Cruikshank, money-man Martin Lewis, and Made In Chelsea star Gabriella Ellis. 10.40 FILM: An Education (2009) See highlights. 12.15am (BST) FILM: Stolen (2010) 4.30 (GMT) MotoGP

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 British Rallycross Championship 7.30 FIM World Superbikes 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 The American Football Show 10.05 Frasier 10.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 11.05 The Big Bang Theory 11.30 The Big Bang Theory 12.00pm The Simpsons 12.25 Heston’s Fairytale Feast 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 4.10 Come Dine With Me 4.40 Come Dine With Me 5.10 Come Dine With Me 5.40 Come Dine With Me 6.15 Come Dine With Me The cookery-based reality show. 6.45 Channel 4 News 7.05 Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. US drama series. An elusive girl in a floral dress may hold the key to the mystery that brings Phil Coulson and his team of agents to Asia to rescue a young man with an unusual and dangerous power. 8.00 Grand Designs This episode features a master craftsman whose dream is to build a castle made entirely of mud. 9.00 FILM: Die Hard 2 (1990) Starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler. Sequel in which tough cop John McClane is waiting for his wife at Washington’s Dulles Airport when terrorists take over air traffic control, demanding safe passage for themselves and a Latin American dictator and threatening to crash incoming flights if their demands are not met. 11.20 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) Starring Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Brigitte Nielsen, Jurgen Prochnow, Ronny Cox and John Ashton. Comic thriller in which the hard-nosed Detroit cop from the original film returns to Los Angeles to help solve another case. 1.20am (BST) FILM: It’s Kind Of A Funny Story (2010) 2.00 (GMT) Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.05 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Countdown

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Hana’s Helpline 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 The Mr. Men Show 10.15 Power Rangers: Megaforce 10.50 Slugterra 11.20 Jungle Babies 11.50 The Dog Rescuers 12.20pm Animal Maternity 1.20 FILM: Columbo: Murder By The Book (1971) 3.00 FILM: Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) 4.50 FILM: Attack On The Iron Coast (1968)

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing Celebrities pair up with professional dancers in this dancing competition. Hosted by Bruce Forsyth and Tess Daly. 8.15 Atlantis Drama series. When a clandestine messenger brings unexpected news from outside the city, Ariadne calls on Jason and his friends to help guide her to the source. Yet leaving the citadel without raising the suspicions of the Queen seems impossible, especially with the revelation that it is Ariadne’s exiled brother Therus who has sent for her. 9.00 The National Lottery Live Chris Evans hosts a live show including the Lotto draw and Thunderball results. 9.10 Casualty Jeff helps a father and his sons after they get into trouble over a hidden bag of cash. Sam treats a bride on her wedding day, not knowing that Tom intends to propose. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights and analysis of the day’s Premier League matches. 11.40 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin presents the best of the action from all three divisions of the Football League. 12.55am (BST) Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00 – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Dino Dan 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Canimals 7.15 Canimals 7.25 Sooty 7.35 Horrid Henry 7.50 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 8.15 Bottom Knocker Street 8.30 The Munch Box 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Saturday Cookbook 10.25 Murder, She Wrote 11.25 ITV News & Weather 11.30 Surprise Surprise 12.30pm All Star Family Fortunes 1.15 Doc Martin 2.15 Catchphrase 3.00 FILM: Star Wars: Episode II Attack Of The Clones (2002) 5.40 ITV News Meridian 5.50 ITV News 6.00 New You’ve Been Framed! Surreal comedy from the mind of Harry Hill as he narrates more viewers’ funny home videos. 6.30 Fool Britannia Dom Joly presents another batch of funny wind-ups and crazy pranks. 7.00 The Chase: Celebrity Special Bradley Walsh hosts another celebrity edition of the quiz show in which four well-known celebrities work together to try and win thousands of pounds for charity. Can they outwit the ruthless quiz genius known as The Chaser? Giving it their best shot this time are Dancing on Ice judge Jason Gardner, Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts, Birds of a Feather actress Linda Robson and King of the Jungle Christopher Biggins. 8.00 The X Factor See highlights. 10.00 The Jonathan Ross Show Star-studded chat show hosted by Jonathan Ross. Among the A-list stars joining Jonathan tonight are X Factor judges Gary Barlow, Nicole Scherzinger and Louis Walsh, supermodel Naomi Campbell, comedy actor Stephen Merchant and singer Laura Mvula. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness plays cupid as the fifth series of the dating show continues. 12.30am (BST) Jackpot247 3.00 (GMT) The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen

6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Championship 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Fantasy Football Club 9.00 Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Championship 2.30 Saturday Team Talk 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.00 LIVE Ford Saturday Night Football 8.00 Ford Saturday Night Football: Game Of The Day 10.00 Ford Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 11.30 Championship 12.00am Saturday Reloaded 1.00 (BST) Ford Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 1.30 (GMT) Ford Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 3.00 Football Gold 3.15 Football Gold 3.30 Spanish Football 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 Spanish Football

6.35 Lost Heroes Of World War I Documentary series. Filmed over almost two decades, the individual stories of the last veterans and survivors of WWI are replayed. 7.00 Nazi Titanic: Revealed Documentary series exploring historical events. The story of a forgotten 1942 blockbuster in which Nazi propagandists recast the famous ship disaster as a story of German courage and Allied weakness. 8.00 War Hero In My Family Actress-comedian Helen Lederer traces the poignant but life-affirming story of her Czech grandfather, who helped to bring the Nazis to justice after his family perished in Auschwitz. Politician and diplomat Lord Paddy Ashdown explores the army history of his father. 8.55 5 News Weekend 9.00 FILM: Stephen King’s Bag Of Bones (2011) Starring Pierce Brosnan, Melissa George, Annabeth Gish, William Schallert. Horror. A bestselling novelist retreats to his lakeside cabin in Maine after his wife is killed in a road accident. 12.15am (BST) SuperCasino 4.00 (GMT) Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Five VOD Make It Big 4.50 Roary The Racing Car 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.10 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sporting Greats 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 Ringside 8.00 Tight Lines 8.55 LIVE ODI Cricket 4.55pm LIVE Spanish Football 7.30 LIVE Fight Night 11.30 Spanish Football 12.30am ATP Tour Tennis 1.30 (BST) ATP Tour Tennis 1.30 (GMT) European Tour Golf 2.30 PGA Tour Golf 3.30 IVE European Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am European Tour Golf 9.30 PGA Tour Golf 12.30pm Ringside 1.30 LIVE Tennis 4.30 Sporting Greats 5.00 Max Power 6.00 The F1 Show 7.00 NFL 7.30 NFL: A Football Life 8.30 ODI Cricket 9.30 NFL 10.00 WWE Late Night Superstars 11.00 WWE NXT 12.00am WWE: Late Night Smackdown 1.00 (BST) WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 (GMT) ODI Cricket 3.00 ATP Tour Tennis 4.00 Max Power 5.00 ODI Cricket

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








3.00pm Galapagos With David Attenborough 4.00 Modern Family (x2) 5.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 FILM: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) 10.55 A League Of Their Own 11.55 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance 12.55am Ross Kemp In The Middle East 1.50 Brit Cops

7.00pm LIVE: MOTD Live: England v Wales – Women’s World Cup Qualifier 9.15 FILM: Deja Vu (2006) 11.15 (BST) Family Guy (x8) 1.15am (GMT) Staying In With Greg And Russell 1.45 Sweat The Small Stuff: Extra Sweaty 2.30 Some Girls

7.00pm Africa 8.00 Stories From The Dark Earth: Meet The Ancestors Revisited 9.00 Inspector Montalbano 10.55 Pop Charts Britannia: 60 Years Of The Top 10 12.25am Ultimate Number 1s At The BBC 1.25 (BST) Top Of The Pops: 1978 1.00 (GMT) Africa 2.00 Stories From The Dark Earth: Meet The Ancestors Revisited

12.10pm The X Factor USA 1.10 James Arthur: The Hot Desk 1.25 Peter Andre: My Life 2.25 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 3.55 FILM: Honey (2003) 5.55 FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 7.45 FILM: Twister (1996) 10.00 The Xtra Factor 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.50 The Magaluf Weekender 12.50am Crazy Beaches

11.50am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.05pm FILM: Man About The House (1974) 2.50 Columbo: It’s All In The Game 4.50 A Touch Of Frost 7.00 Rosemary And Thyme 8.00 Foyle’s War 10.00 Bomb Girls. See highlights. 11.00 Wire In The Blood 12.05am FILM: Death Becomes Her (1992) 1.10 Cracker

2.40pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.40 Made In Chelsea 4.45 FILM: Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (2009) 6.35 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x3) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 10.00 Rude Tube 11.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 12.10am The Big Bang Theory

11.20am FILM: The Truman Show (1998) 1.20pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.05 Location, Location, Location (x3) 6.50 Building The Dream 7.55 Is Our Weather Getting Worse? 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Embarrassing Fat Bodies (x2) 12.10am 50 Years Of Bad Sex 1.50 (BST) Scandal 1.40 (GMT) Embarrassing Fat Bodies

11.00am A Challenge For Robin Hood (1967) 1.00pm Black Knight (2001) 2.50 Black Beauty (1971) 4.55 The Phantom (1996) 6.55 Letters To Juliet (2010) 9.00 Along Came A Spider (2001) 11.00 Stake Land (2010) 12.55am F (2010) 2.30 Bombay Beach (2011) 4.00 Close

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sunday 27 By Any Means BBC1, 9pm The Robin Hoods with a laptop set their semi-official vigilante sights on a very nasty piece of work (played by Nick Moran), who is bringing in a new drug to the marketplace targeted at teenagers. Bad man. Also a dangerous sociopath. Jack and the gang are faced with their most perilous task yet.

Homeland Channel 4, 9pm Dana Brody is a bit delicate. So when she goes AWOL Jessica in not surprisingly fraught with worry and forced to call the police. This isn’t going to be easy for anyone. Meanwhile, Carrie discovers that even a crippled CIA is a force to be reckoned with, and then has breakfast with a new client. Bacon sarnie!

The Only Way Is Essex ITV2, 10pm Toot your horn, paint yourself orange and jazzle up your bits for tonight’s trip to Billericay and all the tears and drama, laughs and gossip that entails. Vacuous it may be, but it certainly grips the nation and even incites arson (really!). and all the cool kids are watching it. You want to be cool, don’t you?


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.10 Match Of The Day 8.30 Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix 11.45 Sunday Politics 1.00pm BBC News 1.15 Bargain Hunt 2.00 Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix Replay 4.00 Points Of View 4.15 Big Sing: The UK’s Top Ten Hymns 4.55 The Great British Year 5.55 BBC News

6.00am FILM: The Penguin Pool Murder (1932) 7.05 FILM: The Thirty Nine Steps (1935) 8.30 Gardeners’ World 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Morning Live 11.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 MotoGP 2.30 Flog It! 3.30 Great British Railway Journeys 4.00 Boxing: World Championships 5.30 Britain’s Classroom Heroes

6.00am Babar And The Adventures Of Badou 6.10 Matt Hatter Chronicles 6.35 Dino Dan 6.50 Dino Dan 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Canimals 7.15 Canimals 7.25 Sooty 7.35 Horrid Henry 7.50 Big Time Rush 8.15 Bottom Knocker Street 8.30 Fort Boyard: Ultimate Challenge 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Storage Hoarders 10.30 Sunday Side Up 11.30 Sunday Scoop 12.30pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 Inside The National Trust 1.35 FA Cup First-Round Draw Live 2.05 The X Factor 4.05 Fool Britannia 4.35 Downton Abbey 5.40 Prize Island 6.35 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Surprise Surprise Holly Willoughby rewards more ordinary people with exceptional real life stories. An inspirational stroke victim who defied the odds receives a huge surprise from cycling hero Mark Cavendish. 8.00 The X Factor Results Dermot O’Leary hosts as the singing competition’s third elimination is announced. The tension will become almost unbearable for the remaining acts as they learn their fate. Who will be going home tonight? Featuring live performances from special guests. 9.00 Downton Abbey Series four of the drama series. A birthday party is planned for Robert, but Rose’s surprise contribution to the event ruffles feathers above and below stairs. A new farming venture on the Downton estate comes with dramatic repercussions for Mary. 10.05 ITV News; Weather 10.20 Women Behind Bars With Trevor McDonald Second in a two-part documentary. 11.20 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership Mark Durden-Smith presents all the best of the action from the top flight of English rugby. 12.15am The Store 2.20 British Superbike Championship Highlights 3.35 Motorsport UK 4.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 The American Football Show 7.55 Helly Hansen Killarney Adventure Race 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm The Big Bang Theory 12.55 The Simpsons 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 FILM: Maid In Manhattan (2002) 4.00 Channel 4 News 4.30 American Football Live At Wembley 8.00 Bigfoot Files Documentary series examining evidence for the Yeti or Bigfoot to see if there is any truth behind sightings. Mark Evans is in America’s Pacific Northwest in search of the Sasquatch. In 1958 a digger driver called Jerry Crew found a series of huge footprints in Willow Creek, Northern California and the Bigfoot legend took off. Since then the region has had over 1000 Bigfoot encounters. 9.00 Homeland See highlights. 10.05 Was It Something I Said? Panel show hosted by David Mitchell. Team captains Micky Flanagan and Richard Ayoade are joined by panellists Bob Mortimer and Katherine Ryan, while the guest narrator is Brian Blessed. 10.35 Toast Of London Sitcom. Toast’s excitement at winning a part in a new play is tempered by two concerns. The first is that his nemesis Ray Purchase is also in the play. The second is the rumour that the director, Acker Herron, has a history of murdering difficult actors. 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Comic Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Actor Michael Sheen, Amanda Holden, Jared Leto and Karl Pilkington join Alan on the couch. 12.10am American Football Live 3.45 FIM World Superbikes 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.05 Countdown 5.50 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures

6.00 – 7.50am Children’s television 7.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Hana’s Helpline 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 BUPA Great South Run 2013 12.00pm FILM: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (2009) 1.40 FILM: The Ghost Of Greville Lodge (2000) 3.30 FILM: The Canterville Ghost (1996) 5.15 FILM: Monster House (2006) 6.55 FILM: Ghostbusters (1984) Starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver. Supernatural comedy set in New York about three eccentric professors of parapsychology who decide to set up a ghost-catching agency. 8.55 5 News Weekend 9.00 FILM: Scream 4 (2011) Starring Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Lucy Hale, Shenae Grimes, Anna Paquin, Kristen Bell, Hayden Panettiere and Emma Roberts. Fourth instalment of the tongue-in-cheek horror series. Sidney returns to her home town of Woodsboro after 10 years for a promotion tour of her selfhelp book, but things take a bloodspattered turn when Ghostface reappears and tries to make up for lost time with another killing spree. On the 15th anniversary of the original murders, two high-school students are found dead and sheriff Dewey and his journalist wife Gale try to track down the serial slasher. 11.10 Scream: The True Story Uncover the true events that inspired Hollywood’s successful horror movie. 12.05am FILM: The Wicker Man (2006) 1.55 SuperCasino 4.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Roary The Racing Car 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.05 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

6.00am Championship 6.30 Ford Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 8.00 Game Changers 9.00 Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Ford Football Special 1.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 Ford Football Special 3.00 Scottish Premiership 3.30 Spanish Football 4.30 Ford Football Special

6.10 South East Today 6.20 Countryfile For the first time, Countryfile is home to the BBC’s One Man and His Dog competition, showcasing the time-honoured skills and traditions of sheep dog trialling. 7.20 Strictly Come Dancing: The Results Results from the latest round of the celebrity ballroom dancing competition. 8.00 The Paradise Drama series. With the return of Moray the fortunes of the Paradise are on the up, but Moray must box clever if he is to wrest his store back from Tom and Katherine. Moray welcomes his friend from Paris, Clemence Romanis, to the Paradise. Clemence has come to strike a business deal with the Paradise to sell her fireworks. A display of her creations leaves everyone in awe of the spectacle, but negotiations are delayed when Tom Weston is beguiled by her and insists Clemence dines alone with him before a contract is signed. 9.00 By Any Means See highlights. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Match Of The Day 2 Mark Chapman presents highlights from a busy day of Premier League action. 11.50 Rugby League: World Cup Highlights Tanya Arnold presents highlights from the opening weekend of the Rugby League World Cup. 12.35am Weatherview 12.40 News

6.30 The Ginge, The Geordie And The Geek Fast-paced sketch show. 7.00 Dive WWII: Our Secret History Jules Hudson presents the second of two programmes following a deep water dive team searching for the shipwrecks of WWII’s Battle of the Atlantic off the coast of Northern Ireland. 8.00 Great Continental Railway Journeys Armed with his 1913 railway guide, Michael Portillo returns to his native Spain to discover what the intrepid tourists of the Belle Epoque experienced on their travels through the fading Spanish empire. 9.00 Boarding School Boys 10.00 The Wrong Mans Sitcom. Having agreed to take care of the hunted and wounded Marat, Sam and Phil return back to Phil’s house where his mum Linda proves surprisingly resourceful. 10.30 QI XL Stephen Fry hosts the hilarious, mind-expanding quiz in which the aim is to be interesting. 11.15 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Kristen Schaal hosts. Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding are joined by Alice Levine, Rylan Clark, David O’Doherty and James Arthur. 11.45 FILM: Just Like Heaven (2005) Starring Reese Witherspoon, Mark Ruffalo, Donal Logue. Supernatural romantic comedy. 1.15am Sign Zone: Countryfile 2.10 Sign Zone: Holby City

Sky Sports 2 8.30am PGA Tour Golf 11.30 Fight Night 3.00pm NFL: A Football Life 4.00 LIVE NFL London 8.15 LIVE NFL 11.30 NFL: A Football Life 12.30am ATP Tour Tennis 1.30 ATP Tour Tennis 2.30 NFL: A Football Life 3.30 Football Gold 3.45 Football Gold 4.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 PGA Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Seamaster Sailing 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE Vintage 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 Game Changers 11.00 ODI Cricket 12.00pm WWE Special 1.00 NFL 1.30 LIVE ATP Tour Tennis 3.30 WWE: Experience 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE From The Vault 5.15 WWE From The Vault 5.30 WWE: Smackdown 7.30 Scottish Premiership 8.00 European Tour Golf 9.00 PGA Tour Golf 10.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE: Experience 12.00am WWE Special 1.00 Championship Rugby Union 2.00 Seamaster Sailing 2.30 Football Gold 2.45 Football Gold 3.00 Max Power 4.00 Championship Rugby Union 5.00 Sports Unlimited

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm Galapagos With David Attenborough 2.00 Modern Family (x2) 3.00 John Bishop’s Only Joking 3.30 Futurama (x5) 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning Of Life 10.00 Revolution 11.00 Trollied 11.30 Road Wars 12.00am Ross Kemp In The Middle East 1.00 Brit Cops (x3)

7.00pm Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix – Highlights 8.00 Atlantis 8.45 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Sweat The Small Stuff 11.15 American Dad! (x2) 12.00am Some Girls 12.30 Unsafe Sex In The City 1.30 Sweat The Small Stuff

7.00pm Serengeti: Unnatural Histories 8.00 Dreaming The Impossible: Unbuilt Britain 9.00 The Golden Age Of Steam Railways (x2) 11.00 Medieval Lives: Birth, Marriage, Death 12.00am Arena: The National Theatre - Part One: The Dream 1.00 The Who: The Story Of Tommy

11.05pm The X Factor 1.10pm The Xtra Factor 2.05 James Arthur: The Hot Desk 2.20 FILM: Honey (2003) 4.25 FILM: Casper (1995) 6.25 FILM: Perfect Storm (2000) 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex. See highlights. 10.50 Freshers 11.50 Tricked 12.50am The Vampire Diaries (x2)

9.00am Columbo: It’s All In The Game 11.00 Heartbeat (x2) 1.00pm Rosemary And Thyme 2.00 Foyle’s War 4.05 FILM: Carry On Cruising (1962) 5.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7.00 Lewis 9.00 The Specsavers Crime Thriller Awards 2013 10.35 FILM: The Elephant Man (1980) 1.00am Inspector Morse 2.45 Judge Judy (x2)

2.35pm The Mindy Project 3.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 4.00 How I Met Your Mother (x4) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 7.30 Rules Of Engagement 8.00 FILM: Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007) 10.00 Rude Tube 11.00 Channel 4’s Comedy Gala 11.55 Misfits 12.55am The Big Bang Theory

12.05pm Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (x5) 2.35 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.20 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 American Football Live At Wembley 8.30 Stephen Fry: Gadget Man 9.00 The Restoration Man 10.00 Father Ted (x3) 11.40 Embarrassing Bodies 12.45am The Restoration Man 1.50 Cannibals Of The Stone Age

11.00am In And Out (1997) 1.00pm Holy Man (1998) 3.15 Doctor Dolittle (1967) 6.05 Clear And Present Danger (1994) 9.00 Escape From Alcatraz (1979) 11.15 After The Sunset (2004) 1.10am Breathless (2008) 3.50 Close



International Chef Exchange

Latest TV returns from Rotterdam with more delicious footage from International Chef Exchange

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041_LS651_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 18/10/2013 14:50 Page 1

monday 28 The Great British Bake Off BBC2, 7pm The three finalists face the three final challenges designed by Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood, with Mel and Sue wishing them well from the sidelines. The Signature Challenge sees them bake a picnic pie, the Technical Challenge sets the bar at perfect pretzels, and the final test is a full on wedding cake. So excited!

Under The Dome Channel Five, 10pm Not necessarily a metaphor here but there’s a tornado circling overhead the dome’s inhabitants. Just saying. Oh, and Julia is rushed to hospital after being shot, and then Barbie goes on the run when Big Jim turns the town against him. Tornado’s not a metaphor, you understand. And the teenagers get a new vision.

Some Girls BBC3, 10pm The active teens are clashing heads again in this BBC3 sitcom. Anna is now ready to go on maternity leave, which would no doubt thrill Viva were it not for some troubling thoughts about her ex-boyfriend Rocky. Holli and Saz are certainly interested though as they compete to take over managing the football team.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 The Sheriffs Are Coming 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Keeping Up Appearances 2.45 Keeping Up Appearances 3.15 Perfection 4.00 Escape To The Country 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Glen Campbell delves into Sussex police archives to tell the story of President John F Kennedy’s last visit to Britain and his stay at Harold Macmillan’s country home in 1963. 8.00 EastEnders Michael worries when his master plan begins to fall apart, but he is thrown a lifeline when he overhears some extremely useful information in the Vic. 8.30 Our Dirty Nation – Panorama Cleaning up Britain’s rubbish costs us more than a billion pounds a year. Yet while we seem unwilling to pick up after ourselves – or our pets – other people’s discarded rubbish still gets many hot under the collar. 9.00 Ripper Street Crime drama set in Victorian London. Jack the Ripper may be fading into memory, but east London has found no peace. An investigation into the assault of a policeman leads DI Reid and the men of H-Division to the newlyemergent Chinatown. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Tommy Robinson Documentary The ex EDL leader. 11.20 BBC News: The Editors 11.50 Citizen Khan Sitcom. 12.20am The Graham Norton Show 1.05 Weatherview 1.10 News


6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Real Rescues 7.50 Britain’s Empty Homes 8.20 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 9.05 Watchdog 10.05 James Martin’s Food Map Of Britain 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Rugby League 1.45 Great British Menu 2.45 Floyd On Britain And Ireland 3.15 Are You Being Served? 3.45 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.20 Cagney And Lacey 5.10 Flog It! 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Zoe Ball presents backstage gossip. 7.00 The Great British Bake Off See highlights. 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions as two teams of students battle it out. 8.30 Tom Kerridge’s Proper Pub Food Tom Kerridge cooks dishes that are great for the family, many inspired by the food he loved to eat growing up. 9.00 Iceland Foods: Life In The Freezer Cabinet Series following the fortunes of Iceland supermarkets. CEO Malcolm Walker lets the cameras into the boardroom and stores, as the company deals with the fallout from the horsemeat scandal. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Eamonn Holmes takes on hosting duties. Joining team captain’s Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding on the panel are Sarah Millican, Jaymi Hensley from Union J, Happy Monday’s icon Shaun Ryder and, from Fresh Meat, comedian Greg McHugh. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Boarding School Boys 12.20am Sign Zone: The Culture Show At Edinburgh: Funny Women 12.50 Sign Zone: The Story Of The Jews 4.00 Music Technology 5.00 Counting With Rodd


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Moira’s houseguest freaks Laurel out. 7.30 Coronation Street A frustrated and defiant Nick pushes himself too far. 8.00 Tales From Northumberland With Robson Green The start of a new eight-part series in which Robson Green travels the length and breadth of his home county of Northumberland to discover how this mystical place has played a unique role in shaping contemporary Britain. 8.30 Coronation Street Will David’s heroics win his family round? 9.00 OCD Ward Documentary following four of Britain’s most severe sufferers of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Edward, Enis, Tricia and Hayley are seemingly ordinary men and women but are terrified of doing the most basic tasks. They admit the fears are ridiculous but the OCD is wrecking their lives. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Agenda ITV News Political Editor Tom Bradby is joined by big names. 11.05 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Pete Waterman Piers Morgan is joined by Pete Waterman. 12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.05am The Treacle People 6.15 The Hoobs (x2) 7.10 According To Jim 7.35 Will And Grace 8.00 Frasier 8.35 Frasier 9.05 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.05 The Big Bang Theory 10.35 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Gordon Ramsay’s Home Cooking 12.35 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 1.05 SuperScrimpers 1.10 FILM: One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal: Freaky Fun Fayre 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Maxine receives a devastating diagnosis. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 The Property Market Undercover: Channel 4 Dispatches With house prices soaring and the government’s ‘Help to Buy’ scheme starting, undercover reporter Antony Barnett secretly films the latest tactics used by estate agents to secure sales. 8.30 Health Freaks Dr Pixie McKenna, Dr Ellie Cannon and Dr Ayan Panja test out homemade cures to common health problems. 9.00 999: What’s Your Emergency? Documentary series. Sixty thousand people go into cardiac arrest every year in the UK. Of the 30,000 trated by the ambulance service, only 10 percent survive. This episode looks at attempts to increase the survival rate through education about CPR. 10.00 Embarrassing Fat Bodies Doctors Christian Jessen, Dawn Harper and Pixie McKenna catch up with obese patients they assisted. 11.05 Educating Yorkshire Documentary series exploring life at a Yorkshire school, Thornhill Academy. 12.10am How To Find The Perfect Flatmate 1.05 Random Acts 1.10 FILM: Andaaz (1949) 3.45 Nashville 4.25 Countdown 5.10 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Monkey 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Hotel Inspector 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 War Hero In My Family 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 FILM: Delete (2013) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ricky and Zac force Bianca to realise that she was largely to blame for Heath’s infidelity. 6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Construction Squad: Operation Homefront Ex-military personnel rescue ailing community projects across the nation. 8.00 The Gadget Show Action-packed show looking at the latest technology. 9.00 Pickpockets And Proud Documentary about the pickpockets and snatchers who make their money by stealing other people’s. Rob is a 34-year-old who has been thieving for the past five years. In just one year alone, he reckons he has stolen valuables worth around £100,000. 10.00 Under The Dome See highlights. 10.55 FILM: Final Destination (2000) Starring Devon Sawa, Amanda Detmer, Ali Larter, Daniel Roebuck, Chad E Donella and Kristen Cloke. Horror tale in which a group of teenagers who believe they have cheated death find themselves at the mercy of an unknown force. 12.45am Campus PD 1.15 SuperCasino 3.05 The Butcher Boy: Countdown To Murder 3.55 HouseBusters 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Divine Designs 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Championship 11.00 Scottish Premier League 11.30 Championship 12.00pm Ford Football Special 1.30 Spanish Football 2.30 Ford Football Special 4.00 Fantasy Football Club 4.30 Game Changers 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 FL72 Review 7.30 LIVE Championship 10.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 11.00 FL72 Review 12.00am SPFL Round-Up 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Championship 2.30 SPFL Round-Up 3.00 FL72 Review 4.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 5.00 Championship

Sky Sports 2 6.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 WWE Bottom Line 8.00 NFL 9.00 NFL 10.00 European Tour Golf 11.00 PGA Tour Golf 12.00pm NFL 1.00 NFL 2.00 TBA 3.00 Fight Night 6.30 Inside Sailing 7.00 British Rally Championship 8.00 NFL 9.00 NFL 10.00 British Rally Championship 11.00 Seamaster Sailing 11.30 Inside Sailing 12.00am NFL 1.00 NFL 2.00 PGA Tour Golf 3.00 European Tour Golf 4.00 Trilby Tour Golf 5.00 PGA Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Seamaster Sailing 6.30 Ford Football Special 8.00 ATP Tour Tennis 9.00 ATP Tour Tennis 10.00 LIVE Masters Tennis 9.00pm Inside Sailing 9.30 Sporting Greats 10.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE: Late Night Raw 3.15 British Rally Championship 4.15 WWE From The Vault 4.30 Inside Sailing 5.00 British Rally Championship

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








11.00am NCIS: LA (x3) 2.00pm The Simpsons 2.30 Futurama 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 The Middle (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Arrow 9.00 Strike Back: Shadow Warfare 10.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning Of Life 11.00 A League Of Their Own: Unseen 12.00am Spartacus: Vengeance

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Hotel Of Mum And Dad 9.00 Cherry Healey: Old Before My Time 10.00 Some Girls. See highlights. 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Some Girls 1.00 Cherry Healey: Old Before My Time 2.00 Hotel Of Mum And Dad

7.00pm News 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Full Throttle: The Glory Days Of British Motorbikes 10.00 How The North West Was Won 10.40 Africa 11.40 Stories From The Dark Earth: Meet The Ancestors Revisited 12.40am Only Connect

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 5.05 Big Rich Texas 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 You’ve Been Framed! Favourites 9.00 Peter Andre: My Life 10.00 Release The Hounds 11.00 FILM: House Of Wax (2005) 1.15am The Only Way Is Essex

2.00pm Wild At Heart 3.05 Hamish Macbeth 4.15 The Upper Hand 4.50 Faith In The Future 5.20 George And Mildred 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Mr Selfridge 9.00 Martin Clunes: Islands Of Britain 10.00 Above Suspicion: The Red Dahlia 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.05am Wycliffe

3.00pm Suburgatory (x2) 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 New Girl (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Made In Chelsea 11.00 Big Fat Quiz Of The 00s 12.40am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

10.40am FILM: Objective, Burma! (1945) 1.25pm Time Team (x3) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Location, Location, Location 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 10.00 24 Hours In A&E 11.10 Supersize vs Superskinny 12.10am The Good Wife

11.00am How To Marry A Millionaire (1953) 1.00pm My Neighbour Totoro (1988) 2.50 The Prince And The Pauper (1978) 5.10 Carry On Up The Khyber (1968) 6.55 Dear John (2010) 9.00 X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) 11.05 A Civil Action (1998) 1.20am Waltz With Bashir (2008) 3.20 Close

THE LATEST TV CHANNEL from Brighton with love

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Latest 7: No. 651  
Latest 7: No. 651  

Madness Madhouse Pop on your Baggy Trousers and get Driving In My Car to see Our House at the Theatre Royal Brighton