Latest 7: No. 644

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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk Post Feature

More of a movie chat show than a review show. In this episode: The Bling Ring & World War Z

★ jobs ★ food ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★

DIGITAL TV FOR BRIGHTON

3 – 9 September 2013

FREE WEEKLY

GO DIGITAL Brighton Digital Festival returns, plus a look at Latest TV’s digital future

Pop your cork!

Ten days of sparkling food & drink fun at Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival’s Autumn Harvest page14 UP THE ALBION! Mark Brailsford on Oscar Garcia & Roy Chuter

Two-Course Lunch Only £10 An exciting menu with great new ideas and a wholly different experience 19 PRINCE ALBERT STREET, BRIGHTON

www.gars.co.uk

01273 321321 booking@gars.co.uk

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Public Engagement & Communications Officer – Sussex Police (Lewes) Marketing Manager – censhare (UK) Ltd (Sussex) Paid Search Analyst – iCrossing (Brighton & Hove) Test Analyst (QA) – Virgin Holidays (Crawley) Sales Executive – DC Storm (Brighton & Hove) PPC Executive – Tropical Sky (East Grinstead) Senior Technical Developer – Edelman (Digital UK) (Brighton & Hove) New Business – Schools – Languagenut Limited (Hassocks) Commercial Assistant – MiShop.Local Ltd. (Brighton and Hove)

Tiny Games for Brighton – Monday 1 – Friday 30 September, various locations all over Brighton Dial M for Murder – Tuesday 3 September, 6.30pm at Duke of Yorks Picture House The BIG ConnectedTV Brighton Conference – Wednesday 4 September, 9.30am at Komedia Improving Reality 2013 – Thursday 5 September, 11am at Brighton Dome Studio Theatre DConstruct – Friday 6 September, 9am at Brighton Dome Brighton Mini Maker Faire – Saturday 7 September, 10am at Brighton Dome Faulty Sound & AV Night – Monday 9 September, 7.30pm Upstairs @ Mrs Fitzherberts

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2013 thelatest.co.uk

@latestbrighton

3–9 SEPTEMBER 2013

www.facebook.com/thelatest7

CONTENTS NEWS & COMMENT

Online now: Reviews, interviews, giveaways, news and sport.

Attention bands! Submit your track to be included in the Brighton Download Chart.

Visit our website to find out how!

04 Latest Brighton & Hove News The future of digital television; author Chris Ellis 08 Andrew Kay Andrew indulges in a Hoxton Gin cocktail 08 Competitions Goldfrapp’s new album, CocoRosie tickets and more

All the latest homes are on latesthomes.co.uk With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website

10 Bare Cheek Great mysteries of the world 11 Celeb City Simon Cowell, Madonna, Downton Abbey and more

LIFESTYLE

Post Feature More of a movie chat show than a review show, in this first episode we chat about The Bling Ring starring Emma Watson, a film based on a true story about a group of high school kids who break in and steal the belongings of celebrities.

We also discuss Brad Pitt’s venture into the zombie apocalypse genre in World War Z. Host Jessica carries on her popular YouTube series of classical reviews with Girls On The Loose, a movie about a group of women who steal a lot of things... similar to The Bling Ring. Ah! We see what you’ve done there Jessica...

For details of advertising opportunities with latesthomes.co.uk please contact the advertising team on 01273 818150 lhsales@thelatest.co.uk

latesthomes.co.uk/brighton

06 Brighton Digital Festival A programme of digital delights this September 09 The Old Market A fantastic autumn season awaits you 09 Brighton Mini Maker Faire Creative inventions to pique your interest 12 Brighton Writes Vanessa on her life in books 12 Up The Albion Mark Brailsford pays tribute to Roy Chuter 13 Edinburgh Comedy Special Award winners and nominees Lynn Ruth Miller, Seann Walsh, Romesh Ranganathan and more

@LatestTVBtn

14 Brighton & Hove Fod & Drink Festival Celebrate Restaurant Week with Sussex menues and great offers at your favourite local restaurants 16 Hotlist Restaurants to suit all tastes 17 Andrew kay’s Food & Drink Andrew goes crazy for the new menu at Graze

WHAT’S ON

PARTY

GIG

IN BRIGHTON

Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless Creative Director Andrew Kay

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Art Director Stephen King Latest Homes Advertising Manager Lesley Lawrence Latest 7 Advertising Manager Rachel Simm

19 What’s On The Rise And Fall Of Geo Goynes, Portugal. The Man, Comedy At The Con and new cinema releases

IN BRIGHTON

Sugarkicks Brighton performer Sugar Shane welcomes you to a brand new, fun and sexy stage show.

Friday 6 September, 10pm, £7

Latest Group

18 Reviews & Bookings; Latest Download Chart Leonard Cohen under review; this week’s no. 1 is...

Latest 7/Homes Editor Zara Baker Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff writers Sade Ali Vanessa Austin Locke Mark Brailsford Jo Brooks

FemRock FemRock is a monthly female-fronted queer-feminist night with live music, spoken word and DJs. Wednesday 4 September, 7pm, £3 Holly Cozens Ben Darling Andy Hinton Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller Henry Smith Christina Toimela Reviews Co-ordinator Joe Fuller Design Jason Weaver

Latest News Frank le Duc Jenni Davidson Jay Legate (Sport)

Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Latest TV Val Aviv David Cuff Andy Nicholls

William Ranieri Yuki Stephenson Christina Toimela

Latest MusicBar Ruth Ratner James Charter Stella Pitt Ali Cluney-Hickford Steve Parfrement

34 Brighton After Dark Bmusic on why Brighton still rocks; embarrassing club situations; top gigs with Brighton Noise 36 TV listings Stars; CSI: NY, the end; seven-day TV listings

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: sales@thelatest.co.uk

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

To advertise call 01273 818150

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04 LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news

The future of television Leading industry figures are coming to the Connected TV conference in Brighton as part of the Digital Festival. Frank le Duc reports

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ouTube, the BBC and Latest TV are all sending speakers to a conference in Brighton on Wednesday 4 September as part of the month-long Digital Festival. The Connected TV conference is all about the convergence of the traditional TV format with other multimedia platforms such as the internet, mobile and games.

It’s very much about business. In fact the organisers said: “This oneday conference will be a practical guide to making money and reaching new audiences within Connected TV and will see some of the industry’s most creative forward thinkers and leaders in this field.”

The event is due to be hosted by former Channel 4 and BBC digital expert Matt Locke, the founder and director of Storythings, a company that explores how we tell stories in the digital age. He has become something of an expert in audiences and audience behaviour too. He will introduce speakers from Future Media at the BBC, YouTube, Thinkbox, The Project Factory, Brilliant Noise, Relentless Software, Brandwatch and Latest TV. The conference, at Komedia in Gardner Street, Brighton, has been organised by Wired Sussex, which supports the digital industry across the county. It said: “Whether you’re a

TV producer, an app, games or web developer, a coder, an animator, a content creator, marketer, strategic planner or project manager, this event is for you.

• If you make games, find out how to design games for a multiplatform audience • If you are an app developer, discover the possibilities for developing new markets via TV • If you are a TV producer or you work in TV, then understand how integrating digital can widen your audience • If you are a web developer then see what’s already been achieved by fusing digital and TV • If you are a content creator then understand the ‘second screen’ dialogue that takes place as a result of TV • If you work in marketing, come and learn audience insights from case studies of recent successful multiplatform projects.

“Our speakers will inspire and educate with case studies and discussions on some of the most innovative projects to have recently hit the Connected TV scene, giving attendees practical skills and tangible knowledge to apply to every day business as well as future ideas.”

Angi Mariani, from Latest TV, is one of the speakers. She plans to talk

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on sustainable planting

more diverse and sustainable planting in areas we maintain. This includes perennial plants that bloom every year and more native flowering plants that do their bit to support our local ecosystem.

For example wildflowers are now planted on the Lewes Road central reservation and grassed areas on several housing estates. We’ve also replaced a number of more traditional flower beds with perennial schemes. As well as increasing biodiversity, the schemes are also cheaper to maintain as they require less frequent mowing and are cheaper than annual plantings.

We also recently converted two

T

he recent campaign by Greenpeace and others highlighted the plight of bees, who are struggling to find enough food. Not only are bees much-loved neighbours in our environment, but we’re absolutely reliant upon them to pollinate our crops. As many gardens are paved over, or are turned into relatively sterile lawn, bees and other insects are losing their food sources.

For the last few years the council has been introducing

lat pls co

the big issue about content and the quality of programmes on local TV channels.

She said: “Latest TV coming is to Channel 8 in Brighton in spring 2014.

The main point is that content is king.

Content will always be king, whatever platform it is shown on, and that is because people are drawn to stories, great stories.

“Content will always be king, whatever platform it is shown on, because people are drawn to great stories” “Kevin Spacey said as much in his now famous MacTaggart lecture at the Edinburgh TV Festival last week where he defended the creatives who have made traditional TV great. Great ideas create the money for the channel to thrive, that has always been the way since Charlie Chaplin’s day.

“With Latest TV, creatives, whether they are working in the TV industry or not, will be able to approach us,

redundant bowling greens in Preston Park to wildflower meadows, which are attracting bees and butterflies to the park.

All the work has been led by gardeners and other CityParks staff supported by many volunteers.

discuss their ideas and ways for us to show their programmes. Bill Smith’s mantra is ‘You make it, we show it’, which really means the demise of the traditional commissioner-led model of TV which puts up barriers between creative ideas and getting TV shown to everyone. Quality will still come to the top, it’s just that it won’t have such an arduous process to get shown now.”

Latest TV is also actively involved in making its own programmes such as Mister Crime with Peter James, the renowned crime writer, investigating crime stories from around the world.

Also Crafty Beggars with presenters Julie Peasgood and Wendy Turner putting competition into crafts. They also have programmes in development on footballers’ lives and global diseases. These programmes will be shown alongside a core programming strand of news, sport, what’s on, music, fashion and business from across the city.

The BIG Connected TV Brighton Conference, 9.30am to 7.30pm, Wednesday 4 September at Komedia, Gardner Street, Brighton. Tickets cost £20 plus VAT, with a 50 per cent discount for Wired Sussex Members.

Available from www.wiredsussex.com/events/TheBig ConnectedTVBrightonConference/ ■

Working with the national park and neighbouring authorities we have been granted funding to create 15 ‘B Banks’. B Banks are artificially-created nature areas to encourage wildflowers, bees and butterflies. So far B Banks are in place at Dorothy Stringer School and Varndean School as well as in Roedean and Greanleas.

Finally, we are working with Kew Gardens on new ways to harvest local seed from the countryside to grow in the city.

The first plants to be grown using this method will be coming to a park or garden near you next year.

More information on the types of plants you can grow to support bees and other insects can be found on the Sussex Wildlife Trust’s website: www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk

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LATEST NEWS 05

latest brighton & hove news

Marina Life Kirsty Pollard invites you to jump from 160ft in the Brighton Bungee Jump

Sentenced to write wrongs

xperience the amazing thrill of a 160ft Bungee Jump at Brighton Marina this September! On Saturday 7 and Sunday 8 September, the UK Bungee Club will descend on the Marina Square, offering you the chance to jump over the inner harbour from a height that exceeds the cliff tops: 160ft attached only to a bungee cord!

See the shoreline of Brighton as never before and be amazed at the sights as you are lifted into the air on your bungeejumping platform before hearing the famous words: “Three, two, one, Bungee!”

Then experience the adrenaline rush of a lifetime as you plummet into the harbour only to be pulled back towards the sky by your bungee cord!

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PROFILE Brighton author Chris Ellis tells how a writing group saved him from sleeping rough and gave him back his pride. Frank le Duc reports

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righton author Chris Ellis tells his own remarkable story of being rescued from homelessness in the latest issue of a local charity’s magazine. Mr Ellis started a new chapter in his life when he started going to the creative writing group at the First Base Day Centre in Brighton. In Express magazine, produced by Brighton Housing Trust (BHT), he describes an amazing turnaround.

He wrote: “Let me tell you a story.

Seven years ago I was on the streets, sleeping in car parks and waking up in doorways. I went to First Base Day Centre to eat and get clean. I also started attending their creative writers group.

“It’s one of the many strange things about being homeless but it really feels like you don’t have a voice or if you do that no one is listening. So I started attending the writing group, not with any thought about what would happen, not really caring whether anyone would ever read my words. At first just as an excuse to have somewhere to go and something to do for a couple of hours a week.

“Then something I had written was published in The Big Issue. Me. A nobody. Just another government statistic. Just another shadowy form that sits on the streets and is ignored by everyone. Even today I can’t

describe the feeling of sitting down and reading my words printed in a magazine, knowing that there were others out there who were reading my work, taking note and paying attention.

“I started writing on the Express magazine. First Base arranged for me to attend courses in creative writing, editing and critiquing. I started getting more and more work published. This all may sound like idle boasting. But it did have an effect on my drinking, my whole outlook on life.

“It gave me a focus, a way of rebuilding my confidence that allowed me to take stock of my life. It gave me a strength of purpose that allowed me to make better-informed decisions about my recovery.

“So what’s all this got to do with the First Base writing group now? Well, I am the new facilitator. I have been running the group now for about four months. When I started I thought I knew how to write. After all, I’ve been published. I was there to help people learn the art of creative writing.

“The truth is, with every week and every group, I meet people whose work and talent leaves me amazed.

Their work, not just pieces about their time on the streets but stories from their past or prose and poetry about their hopes and future, shows just how much we all have in common.”

“It gave me a strength of purpose that allowed me to make better decisions” Mr Ellis has written a book, Writers Block, which has been published on Kindle and is available through Amazon for £5.15. He describes it as a semi-autobiographical account of his life on the streets and in supported housing, dealing with alcoholism and memories of his past life. The 342 pages are shot through with honesty and insights into a hard world.

A reviewer on Amazon said: “I was gripped by this story from the first few pages. It has an immediacy about its style which I really enjoyed. A tale of homelessness, alcoholism and possibilities, it successfully treads a fine line between depressing and hopeful, while at the same time never being disrespectful of its subject matter. I followed the relationship between the two main characters with interest. I’m hoping that there will be a follow up, as I’d like to find out what happens next.” ■

With single jumps starting from £60 and limited spaces available, be sure to book your jump soon to avoid disappointment.

Alternatively, if you don’t want to take the plunge alone, try a tandem jump for just £60 each and share the excitement with a friend.

UK Bungee Club is the UK’s number one bungee-jumping provider and operates bungee jumps nationwide. To book your jump now, or for more information on the 160ft Brighton Bungee Jump visit www.ukbungee.co.uk

Kirsty Pollard, Brighton Marina’s Marketing and Events Manager kirsty.pollard@x-leisure.co.uk www.brightonmarina.co.uk

www.brightonmarina.co.uk ONE MILE EAST OF BRIGHTON PIER – NO 7 BUS SHOPS BOWLING CINEMA FITNESS HOTEL CASINO BARS RESTAURANTS SAIL FISH DIVE BOAT TRIPS

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BRIGHTON DIGITAL FESTIVAL 07

CUTTING EDGE CREATIVITY BRIGHTON DIGITAL FESTIVAL PROMISES A PACKED PROGRAMME OF DIGITAL DELIGHTS THIS SEPTEMBER

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LEADING DIGITAL CONFERENCES An internationally renowned range of cutting edge conferences are also scheduled this year, including dConstruct, the festival’s most popular conference which explores the biggest issues in digital today.

Aimed at web designers and developers, the event brings together some of the world’s leading digital creatives on Friday 6 September at Brighton Dome.

Reasons To Be Creative (formerly known as Flash on the Beach) offers three days of inspiring talks by leading professionals from the creative industries, and takes place from Monday 2 to Wednesday 4 September at The Dome.

Furthermore, the digital culture conference Improving Reality (from Lighthouse) will explore how artists, technologists and writers are disrupting our notion of reality on Thursday 5 September at the Studio Theatre, Brighton Dome .

Joining these popular headline events is the new ConnectedTV

•

COMEDY & CELEBS Brighton Digital Festival will present a specially created Charity Chuckle stand-up comedy night. Award nominee David Trent, TV personality Nathan Penlington, Joseph Morpurgo and Phil Lucas will marry comedy with digital at the Komedia on Tuesday 10 September.

Leading writers, producers and presenters are coming to the city this September, including broadcaster, satirist and journalist Charlie Brooker who will talk at the Duke’s At Komedia following an exclusive Black Mirror screening.

Maggie Philbin, presenter of BBC’s Bang Goes The Theory and founder

of Teen Tech, plus BBC News Online Technology writer and presenter, Bill Thompson, will both chair debates at the Mini Maker Faire (Saturday 7 and Sunday 8 September).

Adam Buxton is also appearing (one half of Adam and Joe, regular face on TV and host of BUG at the BFI Southbank), talking at dConstruct on Friday 6 September.

n t he • oon the coco

B

righton Digital Festival, the city’s largest celebration of digital culture, is back!

Celebrating its third birthday, the festival, which runs from Sunday 1 to Monday 30 September, returns with its biggest ever programme and more than 120 events, with something for everyone, from families and art lovers to makers and programming geeks.

Once again, the festival brings together the best creative minds and technologists. This year’s line-up features everything from highbrow conferences, 48-hour hackathons and new cutting edge art installations to comedy nights, live music performances and everything in between. Here’s a sneak peek at some of this year’s highlights.

Mutator 1 + 2 exhibition at Phoenix Brighton from Saturday 7 September.

Internationally renowned artist Timo Arnall will reveal the invisible infrastructure making up our technological world from Thursday 5 September at Lighthouse. c h e ov e Originally commissioned for n t th e c o v e r r n Kew Gardens as a permanent exhibition, Swimming with Plankton is another visually stunning and highly educational piece (Booth Museum of Natural History, Friday 6 to Wednesday 25 September).

The not to be missed literary event Flash Lit Fiction, also returns for a third year offering a night of digitally-enhanced story-telling and a day of workshops and talks (Latest Musicbar, Thursday 26 September).

Brighton event at Komedia on Wednesday 4 September, delivering a practical guide on making money and reaching new audiences by merging traditional TV formats with other multimedia platforms. There’s also the Let’s Get Real 2013 conference, aimed at helping to improve the digital offering of the cultural sector (Monday 16 September, Dome Studio Theatre).

ART & LITERARY EXHIBITIONS Brighton Digital Festival 2013 also offers an enviable (and mostly free) exhibition programme with pioneering digital artist William Latham and his

OPEN STUDIOS PROGRAMME Brighton and Hove’s business community will once again open its doors to the public within the unique Open Studios week, running from Monday 23 to Friday 27 September.

Participating companies include Crunch Accounting, BTV Post and DabApps who will offer free seminars, workshops and tours to provide a rare glimpse into what goes on behind the scenes.

FAMILY FRIENDLY FUN In addition to the conferences, exhibitions and talks, Brighton Digital Festival also offers a range of family friendly events, including the hugely popular Mini Maker Faire, which returns on Saturday 7 and Sunday 8 September to the Corn Exchange. Celebrating the Maker movement, this inventive and creative faire asks those attending to embrace the do-it-yourself mindset and challenge themselves to discover new and exciting digital inventions.

For more information on all events throughout September and the full Brighton Digital Festival programme, visit www.brightondigitalfestival.co.uk.

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08 BRIGHTON WRITES

Andrew Kay

Sponsored by Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

Mother’s ruin

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or some time now Brighton has been the cocktail mixology capital of Europe, if not the world. London might like to think it is king but it hasn’t got a beach so they can’t have sex on it! Yah boo sucks to the capital and long live Brighton!

I love a nice cocktail and have my favourite haunts as well as my favourite tipples. I can often be found with the Food Fest Crew in Hotel du Vin, we rather like Brighton Rocks in Kemp Town too, and I still love Merkaba in myHotel – they make a very good Margarita but then so does La Choza, another favourite haunt.

“London might like to think it is king but it hasn’t got a beach so they can’t have sex on it! Yah boo sucks to the capital and long live Brighton!”

I love Margaritas but my favourite drinks are those made with gin. From a straight Kendricks and tonic with cucumber to a classic French 75, I like them all.

I was recently sent a rather fascinating new gin from London.

It’s called Hoxton Gin and it is the creation of mixologist and entrepreneur Gerry Calabrese. He had the idea of recreating the classic gin spirit whilst creating a fun brand like no other on the market. He certainly has managed that. Hoxton

Gin is smooth, easy and certainly different.

Made using the finest natural and ethically sourced ingredients including; coconut, grapefruit, iris, tarragon and ginger, Gerry claims that this is a gin that opens up a whole new world of drinking and cocktail possibilities.

Well, I had to give it a try. My first was a cheeky snifter at my desk, being just before noon it was a tiny tot drunk neat to discover the full flavour profile. It’s a smooth drink alright, the fire of the spirit tempered by the creamy note of coconut.

The sweetness of the coconut is tempered by the ginger and grapefruit in turn. I liked it, I can’t see me mixing it with tonic, but when I got home I squeezed a passion fruit into a tall glass, added a large shot of Hoxton and topped it up with Ridegview Cavendish which I just happened to have on the go. It made a damned fine twist on the French 75.

A classic Hoxton Gin cocktail is the Hoxton Stone Sour; a delicious combination of grape, lemon and orange blended with Hoxton Gin and honey. A fruity and refreshing tipple to enjoy in the sunshine. Or The Garden Spring Collins is a light lemon and elderflower cocktail served in a tall glass with cubed ice. The rhubarb and sugar additions complement each other for a sweet and sparkling drink with a tangy kick.

I will be putting my Hoxton through its paces in preparation for the Big Brighton Mix-off – part of the Autumn Harvest Brighton and Hove Food and Drink Festival which takes place over 10 days from Thursday 5 September.

Hoxton Gin is available at Brighton & Hove Tesco in a 70cl bottle – RRP £26.19 (ABV 43%) Brighton Mix Off Cocktail Competition, Thursday 12 September 2013, 7pm–9.30pm, Sea Life Centre, Marine Parade. Advance tickets £12 including three taster tickets from the festival website or £16 on the door. www.brightonfoodfestival.com

Follow me: @latestandrew

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

COMPETITIONS WIN GOLDFRAPP’S BRAND NEW ALBUM ‘TALES OF US’

Goldfrapp are releasing their stunning sixth album on Friday 6 September and we have five copies to give away to some lucky readers. Tales Of Us is written and produced by band members Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory and has been two years in the making.

For your chance to win just tell us: Q: What is the name of the new Goldfrapp album?

WIN COPIES OF THE ‘YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL’ BOOK BY KEN PAVES Ken Paves is a Hollywood hairstylist who has worked in the beauty industry for 20 years, working with some incredible celebrities such as Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Lopez and Eva Longoria. We have five copies of his book, You Are Beautiful, to give away; full of top tips, hairstyles and beauty advice ideal for any woman regardless of age, shape or size.

For your chance to win just tell us: Q: What is the name of Ken Paves’ new book?

WIN COCOROSIE TICKETS AND COPIES OF THEIR NEW ALBUM

CocoRosie are an American musical group formed by sisters Bianca and Sierra Casady. They will be gracing Brighton Dome with their presence on Friday 27 September so we have a pair of tickets

and a copy of their new album, Tales Of A Grass Widow, for one lucky winner. But don’t worry if you don’t win the tickets, there is still one more copy of their CD for a runner up.

For your chance to win just tell us: Q: What is the name of CocoRosie’s new album?

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 16 September 2013.

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TOM BRIGHTON MINI MAKER FAIRE 09

The place to be A sneak peek at Brighton Digital Festival events & autumn at The Old Market The Old Market’s (TOM) Autumn season is the Hove venue’s busiest ever. On sale now, the programme ranges from internationally acclaimed bands like Tunng and Molotov Jukebox to stunning theatre such as The Paper Cinema’s Odyssey and the techno-charged Beats by Kieran Hurley.

If you haven’t visited TOM yet, hunt it out – the 300-500 capacity Main Space really is one of the city’s hidden gems. Alongside high profile gigs and performances, TOM has also been known to host lower-key work in progress shows from big names (Miranda Hart played two nights just last week.)

This September, some of Brighton Digital Festival’s most exiting events will be staged at TOM. Alongside the stunning Odyssey, Simon Wilkinson’s The Sound Of The Wind In The Trees layers retrodrenched electronica onto live AV projections featuring scenes filmed locally. The Rise And Fall Of Geo Goynes, later in the month, takes to

The Paper Cinema: Odyssey

Henning Wehn

the streets for a digital theatre and gaming experience. Outside the festival, Henning Wehn has added an extra date following a sell out earlier this year, and the missing jewell in the crown that is British pop music, Stackridge are back this month too.

The Old Market, 11A Upper Market Street, Brighton, BN3 1AS 01273 201801, www.theoldmarket.com

Invention central Pique your curiosity & see there’s nothing mini about Brighton Mini Maker Faire This weekend sees the return of the Brighton Mini Maker Faire, the city’s annual festival of creativity and invention, where you can witness the home-made creations of makers from around the country, and have a go at making something yourself.

Part of the Digital Festival, the unmissable family event will run over two days this year: An interactive exhibition and mini conference at the Corn Exchange on Saturday will be jam packed with all sorts of crafters, inventors, mad scientists, engineers and musicians, showing off their projects and encouraging visitors to get involved; On Sunday you can learn a new skill in one of the in-depth workshops, which include making a portable sound

system, learning about 3D scanning and printing, a design modelling masterclass, introduction to wearable electronics, upcycling with tetrapaks, making robots from old toys and a session on the science of sound.

If your kids have got the back to school blues, this event is guaranteed to cheer them up and give you lots of ideas for creative activities to get your through the long winter months!

Brighton Mini Maker Faire, Saturday 7 September – Main Interactive Exhibition & Conference £5, under 16s free.

Sunday 8 September – Workshops, individually priced.

Twitter: @MakerFaireBTN facebook.com/brightonmakerfaire . www.makerfairebrighton.com/tickets

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10

ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Festival highlights 1_2 – Buckle My Shoe Told By An Idiot, Forced Entertainment and Punchdrunk join forces for the first time for this devised piece of physical, sitespecific, immersion theatre for kids. A party of children meet at midnight at an undisclosed location and is taken by minibus to a number of other undiclosed locations, where they pick up sticks, dig and delve, and witness maids a-courting in a non-sequential series of unrelated activites. Venue: Undisclosed Running time: 5 hours.

Tickets: £275 (concs.)

Let’s Parler Miles!

Penetrating monologue, giving a fascinating insight into the troubled mind of ‘Franglais’ creator Miles Kington, a man torn between his conflicting roles both as humorous columnist for a revered national daily and as hedonistic bass-player for the controversial rock band ‘Instant Sunshine’. Venue: Courtyard Cubby-hole Tickets: £13.50 Wilkers, Beefie and Brahms Night of rib-tickling cricketing anecdotes, memories and reflections from Sky Sports 9’s commentators Dennis ‘Wilkers’ Wilkinson, Darren ‘Beefie’ Richards and Adam Brahms. Venue: Courtyard Guest-Room Tickets: £15.50 Performance New stage adaptation of Donald Cammel and Nicholas Roeg’s powerful 1970 Borges-and-Artaudinfluenced cinematic study of identity, violence, sex, drugs, performance and madness. Starring Phil Nichols, Bill Bailey, Josie Long and Lucy Porter. Venue: Courtyard Granny-Flat Tickets: £18.50

Great Mysteries Of The World An occassional series in which we examine some of the unsolved riddles that have befuddled the minds of men through the ages.

Mystery No. 349 Why was it called ‘Juliet Bravo’?

There was no-one called Juliet Bravo in the show; the main character's name was Jean Darblay, who was replaced by Kate Longton. What was going on? They’re not even the same intials.

Next week: What happened to Blake in ‘Blake’s 7’?

In & Out

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Some of the best shows at this year’s Fringe:

In

• Getting a bit parky • Mustard baths • Referring to ‘Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday’ as ‘Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot’ when you're not actually French • Walter Savage Landor • Vosene

Out

• Yootha Joyce • Humorously pretending to inject someone with a bicycle pump like it’s an oversized hypodermic syringe • Geological samples • Pronouncing the ‘K’ in ‘Knorr’ • Trendy vicars

8

Follow me: @MitchellnNixon

brianandjoe@foundrygroup.co.uk

011_LS644_celebcity_Celebcity 30/08/2013 14:37 Page 2

CELEBCITY

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Simon Cowell comes home to Sussex, Madonna’s new look, ‘Wills & Kate’ snapped on Brighton Pier, & Brighton Downton Abbey star on the show’s success

INTRODUCING MUM W

A MINI ROYAL VISIT

‘Wills and Kate’ enjoyed a trip to the seaside last week, minus HRH baby George, but complete with candyfloss, sunbathing and a trip to the local. The professional lookalikes posed for photos as part of a campaign from Mini Cooper. Enjoying fish and chips and trip on the pier, the royal doppelgangers went to show that Brighton really is fit for a (future) King – whatever The Daily Mail might say!

PIRATES, VAMPIRES & DOWNTON ABBEY

Downton Abbey’s Mrs Hughes has been giving her much-offered opinion on the show’s success ahead of it’s latest comeback. Paisley-born Phyllis Logan, who plays Mrs Hughes in the ITV period drama and now resides in Brighton, proclaimed that Downton had been such a hit because people were bored of ‘car chases, zombies and vampires’.

Quite. When she isn’t filming Logan enjoys living in our fair old city with husband Kevin McNally of Pirates Of The Caribbean fame, a man who surely knows his way around the seascape. The star was un-surprisingly tight-lipped about the up-coming series although did divulge that there wouldn’t be any hanky panky between her character and butler Mr Carson. Boo! Keep your eyes peeled for series four – starting very soon! © ITV Pictures

e loved the news this week that father-to-be Simon Cowell is about to introduce his pregnant girlfriend to his Ovingdean based Mum. Julie. The music mogul is currently enjoying a romantic getaway with Lauren Silverman in the South of France where they were seen sharing a tender kiss. The Mirror reported that the lovedup pair are said to be flying back to London and Simon has been telling friends that he is hopeful Lauren will meet his mother Julie, 87. A pal said: “Simon is staying for a short time in the UK and he really wants Lauren to meet his mum properly.

“Lauren has to go back to the US before Simon so time could be against them on this occasion – but he really hopes there’s a window of opportunity and he has made it a priority. It means the world to have his mum’s approval and is delighted about the idea of giving her a grandkid.”

Thirty-six-year-old Lauren apparently met Julie previously at a party a few years ago in Barbados but they do not know each other.

The source added: “It’s important, therefore, they have the chance to spend some time together as Lauren is set to become a very important person in Simon and her family’s life.” One onlooker in St Tropez said: “Cowell is normally quite discreet when it comes to shows of affection with the women in his life.

But on this holiday he’s been quite the opposite.

“He can’t keep his hands off Lauren – and she is equally smitten. For those saying Cowell might have run a mile after she announced she was pregnant, the reverse is true. It seems they’re closer than ever and 110% an item.”

I wonder if he will take Julie and Lauren for a nice Ploughman’s lunch at The Plough Pub in Rottingdean, my favourite, although not quite St Tropez!

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MADONNA’S BLING KING

Ever since Madonna started flaunting a grill we knew this bad boy fashiuon statement was here to stay. The gangster-style tooth coverings, favoured by everyone who’s everyone, from twerkin’ pop-star Miley Cyrus to rapper Drake, have become the accessory du jour – and Brighton has been taking a big bite of the trend pie. Speaking to The Evening Standard recently, Daniel Leff, proprietor of Brighton-based online retailer Bling King, says he’s been selling hundreds a month, explaining: “Celebrities like Rihanna and Madonna are taking grills into the mainstream. Before them, our target audience was hiphop followers.” He added” “We’re seeing a growing trend in women buying grills, too. We find that plain gold chrome designs are the bestsellers, followed by one or two rows of stones.” None of us are sporting gold teeth in JBPR yet, but surely it can only be a matter of time!

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

Follow me: latestcelebcity

Special Offer Italian house red or white wine (75cl bottle usually £11.95)

£6.95 with this voucher

10% service will be added Valid Sunday - Friday until end September 2013 excluding bank holidays One voucher per table Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer.

012_LS644_albion_vanessa_editorial 30/08/2013 13:17 Page 2

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BRIGHTON WRITES SPORT

Latest Seagulls

Vanessa Austin Locke The books of life

I

had a significant birthday last week and like we all do when faced with the indomitable passing of the years I opened a bottle of red and got a bit existential. In my living room is an empty fireplace and, uninspired by the idea of filling it with fairy lights, pine cones or fake flowers, I pulled a Changing Rooms and filled it with books. I’m sure there are some deep and meaningful musings to be had regarding the burning of books implied here, but I was less concerned with this and more with the pinot noir-induced haze through which I peered and saw my life, held poignantly in the microcosm of this revealing collection of volumes.

“Every epoch of my life was crammed into a metre-by-metre wall space” After my parents, books have had the biggest influence on me and I’m the first to judge a person on their bookshelf. Stacked up there before me were the very items that had melded with my (I’m gonna say it) soul, and made me the person I am today. Every epoch in my life was crammed into a metre-bymetre wall space. My childhood; defined by beautifully bound, hardback copies of Alice In Wonderland, Gulliver’s Travels and Peter Pan with their gold and silver lettering. The characters, that grow deeper as I grow older, still utterly relevant. The Velveteen Rabbit laced me with a tinge of penetrating sadness that I have been strangely grateful for over years. Then came I Capture The Castle and The Little White Horse, both bildungsroman novels that grew me up along with their heroines. It was here too that horses became a permanent signpost in my psyche.

My late teens were coloured by obsession and the evidence in my bookstack points to the heroin chic movement of the ‘90s; biographies of Jim Morrison and Gia, the obligatory journals of Kurt Cobain for any grunge/rock chic worth her salt. But this was also where creativity formally entered my consciousness; a copy of White Man Sleeps: Creative Insights, several collections of Neruda’s poetry, Leonard Cohen’s, Silvia Plath’s and oh... Vladimir Nabokov, whose childbride Lolita, and obscenely beautiful language became my constant companions for a year or more along with Pale Fire and The Enchanter. And there’s The Iliad, where I fell in love with Hector, tamer of horses.

My early 20s were dominated by academia and religious texts, in particular Hélène Cixous, whose seminal works The Laugh Of The Medusa and Newly Born Woman helped me become just that... a woman. There’s also a copy of Lisa Appignanesi’s Mad, Bad And Sad: A History Of Women And The Mind Doctors From 1800 To The Present, and that’s the book that launched my fascination with the linguistics of women’s mental health. But the overarching book of these years, and indeed my life, was Virginia Woolf’s The Waves, which I’ve probably read 20 times.

My late 20s were troubled, and the literature reflects that. A Grief Observed

by C.S Lewis eased me through profound bereavement, Atomised, The Revenge Of The Lawn, The End Of The Affair, Beloved, The Driver’s Seat, A Defence Of Masochism and Everything Is Illuminated all mark a battle with bitterness that I won with their help and sometimes hindrance.

And what’s on my bedside table now, to take me into this new era and fuse with my future self? Mr Rosenblum’s List, Hangover Square, and a book that I remember from my mother’s bookshelf, that she gifted me on this recent birthday... Women Who Run With The Wolves.

Follow me: @vnessenvy

Mark Brailsford pays tribute to Roy Chuter

F

or those still enjoying this great sporting summer, the arrival of the football season has felt rather like an uninvited drunken uncle has gatecrashed a rather enjoyable wedding and exposed himself to the bride. But the football season is here (has it ever left us?) and if you were able to avoid the tedium of the Rooney/Bale/Suarez sagas then you have done well to distract yourself from the play-off hangover. Gus Poyet is long gone and Oscar Garcia has taken the Albion reigns with considerable dignity.

Oscar Garcia, it has to be said, is an inspired appointment. Early results haven’t exactly been of the sparkling variety but with consecutive victories away at Birmingham and home to Burnley, the mood is upbeat and realistic.

So where are we? This early in the season it’s far too early to tell how the league campaign will pan out. Financial Fair Play (FFP) has certainly played a part in upheavals up and down the leagues but why it should have affected Albion so dearly is a bit of a mystery when the likes of Nottingham Forest and Bournemouth seem to be spending more robustly. Factor in the eye watering parachute-payment led spending gap between Wigan, QPR, Reading and the rest of the Championship and fair play isn’t the phrase that springs immediately to mind. The FFP at European level already looks like an expensive joke when the likes of Real Madrid are spending 100 million euros on a Welsh international. It remains to be seen whether this gaming of the system will help or hinder aspirational clubs like the Albion. For now we have to content ourselves with Paul Barber’s re-imagining of how the club is run to eliminate a financial deficit that was reported to be in the region of eight million pounds.

My prediction for the season: 10th place.

Roy Chuter Some of you would have known Roy and a lot “30 years ago, of you would have been aware of his sad passing. His legacy should be something that Roy Chuter Albion fans pass on for generations, that when faced with unscrupulous ownership, and I played football supporters have a voice and can make a difference. The fact that Brighton and football for Hove Albion exist at all is down to people like HSB Lancing” Roy Chuter who fought, like so many, to rid the club of Archer and Bellotti. Like many, this columnist has one or two fond memories of Roy. Thirty years ago we both played football for HSB Lancing, a team named after a beer which should give you an idea of the standard we played at. Roy was our goalkeeper. We were not the most successful footballing side and would regularly lose games by double digit score-lines. This was in part, thanks to breakaway goals scored by the opposition as Roy was leaning on the goalpost supping vodka and orange from a hip flask, secreted in the back of the net. Bless ‘im. He'll be sadly missed, RIP Roy.

Premier League? You’re having a laugh There is a sizable number of people who are not too bothered that Albion are not in the Premier League. The top flight has become a rather tedious circus full of managerial ego wars, foreign owners and players creating havoc (Hull City Tigers!? Pass me the sick bag!) and Sky Sports jizzing all over itself with every twitch of the Rooney/Bale/Suarez transfer saga (yawn). If this isn’t reason enough to reform the transfer window system, I don’t know what is.

Despite the Premier League bragging about it’s brilliance it is clear that there is a jaded feeling to watching Premier League football these days and with the England team struggling to find enough English players, they would do well to reign in the triumphalist rhetoric and concentrate on getting FFP to do what it says on the tin. On a brighter note, there is one positive to take from not getting past Our Friends in the North in that game. I’ll be enjoying watching Match Of The Day for a change as Palace get whumped on a regular basis before catching Albion smiting all and sundry on The Football League Show. Enjoy the season!

This column will only appear monthly instead of weekly for a while. We hope to be weekly once more very soon. Thanks for reading.

013_LS644_edinburgh award winners_editorial 30/08/2013 13:16 Page 3

EDINBURGH COMEDY SPECIAL

Show me the funny Lynn Ruth Miller – Granny’s Gone Wild presented

by Latest TV, directed and with songs by Latest Bill wins TO&ST Cabaret Award 2013

T

ime Out and Soho Theatre announced the winner of the second annual TO&ST Edinburgh Cabaret Award: Lynn Ruth Miller performing Granny’s Gone Wild. Lynn Ruth Miller’s poignant and hilarious show as performed at Latest Musicbar in Brighton, where it previewed, included great videos produced by Val Aviv and Bill Smith of Latest TV with lyrics written by Lynn Ruth and additional songs written and composed by Bill.

After a very close contest Lynn Ruth Miller was unanimously agreed by the judges as the winner of TO&ST, the Time Out & Soho Theatre Edinburgh Cabaret Award, the Fringe’s only prize created to recognise cabaret work. The show stood out as a truly subversive show with a unique voice and perspective.

Lynn Ruth Miller was presented the award on Wednesday 21 August by the Time Out & Soho Theatre award judges.

On their decision the Time Out London Cabaret Editor, Ben Walters said: “The wonderful aspect of Miller’s set is that she utterly embraces her age, mining the experience of getting older for material on everything from sex and drugs to failing bodies and seizing the day, without the slightest shred of sentimentality or solemnity – and in terms of demanding and rewarding an audience’s conversational engagement, she could write the book.”

Latest Bill commenting on the award said, “It’s really great to have worked with Lynn Ruth Miller on this show. Lynn Ruth totally deserves this accolade and I am certain she will be a huge star when we grow up! “ www.facebook.com/TOASTAward

13

Lynn Ruth Miller I won!

G

ranny’s Gone Wild won the TO&ST Award at this year’s Edinburgh Festival and I am both humbled and honored. I am beginning to realise what it actually takes to win a huge award like this one and I know now that I was the smallest member of the equation.

The one thing that had nothing to do with winning this kind of recognition is luck. The material used in Granny’s Gone Wild has been in the making for almost 10 years. It is a compilation of “My stand-up comedy writing I have done ever since I began my comedy career. and my sense of the Why then, did this writing, which has been presented year after year, outrageous appealed never won anything so huge to Bill Smith” before? The answer is that it took that long to refine the material I had created so that it had universal rather than a local appeal. The Edinburgh Festival has international audiences and the secret of making a splash there is to tune in to the human experience. It isn’t enough to relate to an American or a British mentality. People from every culture have to respond to what you are saying. This year, that is what my words did.

The major element in creating a successful show is having someone who not only believes in you but is willing to invest in your talent. For me, that person is Bill Smith. Two years ago, Bill saw Ageing Is Amazing, my musical about the joy of ageing. My stand-up comedy and my sense of the outrageous appealed to him enough to make him offer to help me put together a show that featured the best of what I had been doing for the past ten years.

Bill added his own songs and with Julian Tardo orchestrated my songs; Bill enlisted Tom Phelan an outstanding pianist to play on stage and Val Aviv to create visuals to back up the songs I sang.

The result was Granny’s Gone Wild... but not in its present form. Each time we performed the show in Brighton Festival we modified the order, the text, the pace and the costuming. In August, we took the result to the Edinburgh Festival.

It was there that Richard Daniels came into the picture. He helped create a seamless technical performance and coordinated the videos. Karen Rosie came along to help us with the promotion.

I would love to say it was I who won the TO&ST award. But, in reality, I was only the one who performed it. It was the effort of countless people who felt the message was worth telling, that made Granny’s Gone Wild a winner.

Winning isn’t everything but The will to win is everything.

– Vince Lombardi

Comedy stars from Chez Latest Lynn Ruth Miller’s not the only star making waves at Ediburgh. Here’s our pick of more top comedy talent – remember, you saw them here first!

Huge congratulations to the seven nominees for Foster’s Best Show and five nominees for Foster's Best Newcomer out of the many thousands of comedy shows on at the

Seann Walsh, nominated for Best Comedy Show: The Lie-In King show

James Acaster, nominated for Best Show

previously had chats with both of them as their stars ascended fast.

It was announced that the winners were Bridget Christie and Romesh Ranganathan.

(Best Show) and John Kearns Latest TV had their (Best Newcomer), both with fingers crossed for fantastic shows and well both Nick Helm deserved victors.

Edinburgh and and James Keep watching Latest Fringe. We were Acaster, both on TV, and reading Latest 7 especially their second to keep an eye out for all rooting for nominations for the brightest and former Latest Best Show at funniest talent on the Ranganathan, 7 columnists Romesh the Fosters circuit today. nominated for Best Nick Helm, nominated Seann Walsh Words: Victoria Nangle Newcomer: Rom Com show Awards, having for Best Show

RESTAURANT WEEK

Celebrate the Autumn Harvest food festival with a choice of Sussex menus and special dining offers at restaurants, food pubs and cafés citywide from Monday 9 - Friday 13 September 2013 AguaDulce

3 for 2 on selected tapas Cheapest dish free. Maximum 4 persons.

Enjoy an authentic taste of Spain without the plane, at Brighton’s familyowned AguaDulce restaurant. Choose from a wide selection of tapas and mains lovingly prepared with the best ingredients from Spain and Sussex.

10-11 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NE • 01273 328 672 • www.aguadulce.co.uk

Boho Gelato

Carluccio’s

A complimentary bottle of delicious Sicilian Sicani wine when two main courses are ordered One offer per party.

Carluccio’s caffè provides great quality, authentic Italian food at sensible prices, accompanied by informal but excellent service. Their food is prepared using the best fresh, natural ingredients, where possible from Italy.

Jubilee Street, Brighton, BN1 1GE • 01273 690 493 • www.carluccios.com/ restaurants/brighton

The Chilli Pickle

Coast to Coast

2 Breakfasts for £10 OR 2 courses from the lunch menu for £9.95 Coast to Coast American restaurant and bar has been created by people who genuinely love good quality food, drinks and good times! No doubt you’re thinking, well doesn’t everybody want that? It’s true many people do, but they’ve genuinely struggled to find somewhere that actually delivers all of these things. So their solution was simple - they did it themselves, the result is Coast to Coast. When it’s cooked well using fabulous ingredients, nothing beats authentic American food.

3 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, BN2 5WA • 01273 626 170 • www. c2crestaurants.com

GB1 at The Grand

Graze Restaurant

Complimentary glass of Gremillet Brut Champagne with either the a la carte or tasting menu Situated in the heart of Regency Brunswick, Graze is a fine-dining independent restaurant with an outstanding reputation for contemporary British cooking.

Celebrating their 7th birthday, Graze holds two AA rosettes and is rated as one of the best restaurants in Sussex by the Which? ‘Good Food Guide’. Their a la carte and speciality seven course tasting menus are produce driven featuring sustainable, local ingredients.

42 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1JD • 01273 823 707 • www.graze-restaurant.co.uk

The Hove Kitchen

3for2 on Gelato & Sorbet Cheapest product free

Boho Gelato produce an ever growing list of over 450 flavours on site with 24 available in their cabinet at any time.

Flavours range from Vanilla to Violet, Mango to Mojito and many contain delicious and innovative combinations such as their Orange, Mascarpone & Caramel or Strawberry, Basil & Black Pepper. All gelato is made using locally produced milk and cream and all sorbets are vegan friendly.

6 Pool Valley, Brighton, BN1 1NJ

Busby & Wilds

Sussex produce led Indian Thali throughout Restaurant Week A local favourite with national standing combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, the evening offers inventive street food, local seafood and regional curries served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere.

Awarded Top 100 UK restaurants National Restaurant Awards 2012 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton, BN1 1GE • 01273 900 383 • www.thechillipickle.com

The Coal Shed Restaurant

During Restaurant Week, visit GB1 Restaurant for lunch and receive a FREE Amuse Bouche or enjoy a FREE glass of bubbles with Afternoon Tea Just quote “”Restaurant Week””. Offers subject to availability. For full terms and conditions and menus visit The Grand’s website.

From the stylish GB1 Restaurant which offers the south coast’s finest and freshest fish caught daily to the hotel’s famous Sussex Cream Tea served in the beautiful Victoria Lounge and Terrace, The Grand, Brighton has it all.

97-99 King’s Road, Brighton, BN1 2FW • 01273 224 300 • www.devere-hotels. co.uk/thegrand

Garden Room Restaurant

Two course ‘Taste of Sussex’ menu with glass of sparkling wine for £20 All the menus at The Hove Kitchen reflect the seasons and showcase the exciting array of local ingredients from the South Coast. During Restaurant Week they will be offering a ‘Taste of Sussex’ menu which will be a celebration of produce readily available on our Sussex doorstop. You can enjoy two courses and a glass of sparkling wine for just £20 or three courses and glass of sparkling £25.

102-105 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1FA • 01273 725 495 • www.thehovekitchen.com

Hove Place

Complimentary glass of house wine or pint of draught beer with each main course ordered Busby & Wilds is a food led pub, that uses fresh local produce to create a menu with quality and excitement.

They work tirelessly to find food, beer and wine of the highest quality whilst maintaining achievable prices for all.

They pride ourselves on quality and service and welcome everyone for a pint and a homemade scotch egg, a glass of wine in their private beer garden, a Kemp Town cream tea or a three course meal.

8-9 Rock Street, Brighton, BN2 1NF • 01273 696 135 • www.busbyandwilds.co.uk

Sussex inspired special lunch menu running throughout Restaurant Week The Coal Shed are an independent restaurant, based in the heart of the lanes and specialise in grilled steaks and fish. They are the first restaurant in Sussex to have a charcoal Josper oven.

8 Boyces Street, Brighton, BN1 1AN • 01273 322 998 • www.coalshedrestaurant.co.uk

Restaurant Week menu including a lovingly-crafted cocktail, 20% discount and kids eat free (max 3 children per table) The recently re-opened Garden Room Restaurant at the Holiday Inn offers a wide range of dishes from all over the world, from South American to Asian classics. Head Chef, Kurt Cutajar, expresses his talent, experience and creativity on the Table d’Hote, a set menu composed to please and inspire all palates.

Holiday Inn, 137 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 2JF • 01273 828 262

Bistro Menu will be inspired by Sussex and offer some fabulous dishes all using local produce Stylish basement bar providing a relaxed atmosphere with a strong emphasis on excellent bistro pub food and offering great customer service. Fabulous gardens to the rear are a major attraction in the nicer weather, so get there early to avoid disappointment! Come and sample some of Sussex’s finest foods...

35/37 First Avenue, Hove, BN3 2FH • 01273 738 266 • www.hoveplace.co.uk

Terms & Conditions: You must quote “Brighton & Hove Food and Drink Festival restaurant week offer” and present the voucher strip to your server prior to placing your order. You can download further vouchers from the festival website at www.brightonfoodfestival.com. Offers and special menus run Monday 9 - Friday 13 September 2013 inclusive unless otherwise stated. Maximum table size 6 people unless otherwise stated. Not valid with any other offer or promotion. Offers and menus are subject to availability – we recommend you call ahead and book to avoid disappointment. All promotions are offered directly by the participating venue and not by the food festival. The manager’s discretion is final.

Indian Summer

20% discount of your total bill when dining on the a la carte menu Award-winning regional Indian restaurant serving original recipes from India. All food is freshly prepared without the use of additives or colourants. Serving Brighton and Hove for over a decade with favourites like Bhel Puri and Masala Dosa.

Awards include top 100 status Cobra good curry guide by Pat Chapman, Certificate of Excellence from Trip advisor and AA rosette 69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ • 01273 711 001 • www.indian-summer.org.uk

L’Eglise

Special Sussex 3-course menu during Restaurant Week L’Eglise offers classic French cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes by Chef owner Jean Christophe. L’Eglise sources the very best of seasonal local produce wherever possible.

196 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2DJ • 01273 220 868 • www. legliserestaurant.co.uk

Moshimo

Pelham House

A Sussex inspired two course menu plus local Harveys beer to pair with the main course for a special price of £15.50 per person Pelham House is a beautiful 16th century town house hotel in Lewes near Brighton. The Restaurant focuses on simple and delicious food, using good quality seasonal and locally sourced produce. Come for lunch on the sunny terrace or dinner in one of the comfortable restaurant rooms.

St Andrews Lane, Lewes, BN7 1UW • 01273 488 600 • www.pelhamhouse.com

Pub du Vin

2 mains from the Landlord’s Lunch menu for £15 Valid Monday - Friday 12-5pm

Pub du Vin has Sussex at its heart with a wide range of local beers and ciders, and a growing selection of Sussex wines. Pull up a chair and enjoy the perfect pint and high quality traditional pub grub. Welcome to your new local...

6 Ship Street, Brighton, BN1 1AD • 01273 718 588 • www.hotelduvin.com

the restaurant at drakes

Restaurant Name Date of Visit

RESTAURANT WEEK Please complete this voucher and present to your server prior to ordering to take advantage of your Restaurant Week offer.

Your Name Your Email (if you wish to be added to the festival monthly e-newsletter)

Sam’s of Brighton

Terre a Terre

30% off your total food bill when dining from the al carte Sussex inspired menu

Two for one on main courses ordered from the a la carte when both guests enjoy 3 courses each

Valid for up to 9 guests, two courses and a drink per person must also be ordered, not valid Friday.

Cheapest dish free

Sam’s is a modern British bistro in the heart of Kemp Town village. This award-winning restaurant produces ever-changing seasonal dishes often locally sourced. During Restaurant Week the best of Sussex produce will be at the heart of the menu.

1 Paston Place, Brighton, BN2 1HA • 01273 676 222 • www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

Seattle Restaurant

A Sussex inspired menu will be offered and to ensure as many as possible enjoy the local experience all main courses will be 2 for 1 Cheapest dish free

The Restaurant at Hotel Seattle combines contemporary British menus and stunning surroundings to create somewhere brimming with life. The Restaurant terrace provides alfresco dining with stunning marina and sea views. Chef and the team use fresh seasonal produce to deliver menus full of intriguing dishes.

The Waterfront, Brighton Marina, BN2 5WA • 01273 679 799 • www. hotelseattlebrighton.com/restaurant/ welcome

Dining at Terre à Terre is a culinary experience like no other. Born out of a desire to deliver innovative meat free food 20 years ago, Terre à Terre has now become a Brighton Institution attracting tourists from afar, but also proudly serving its regulars and locals.

71 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ • 01273 729 051 • www.terreaterre.co.uk

VBites Café & Store

20% discount when ordering a main menu dish and a drink VBites Café & Store offers a delicious selection of vegan food & drinks to eat in or takeaway. They stock a variety of tasty vegan goodies to take home including their own vegan meats, fish, cheeses, deli pots and sauces. They are open 7 days a week. Start your day with a hearty breakfast, or sample their main menu including the mouth watering Hickory Chick burger and tempt yourself with a slice of cake or a Knickerbocker Glory.

14 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HP • 01273 747 371 • www.vbites.com

Waterhouse Bar & Terrace

Stanmer House Bar & Restaurant

All vegan food will be discounted by 25% when ordered from the menu or from the conveyer belt, to help celebrate the festival’s Vegan Maki Challenge This offer cannot be used with the Moshimo Monday and Tuesday offer. You must order a drink as part of the offer.

Moshimo are renowned for their handmade sushi, the authenticity of their hot Japanese dishes, and the sustainability of their fish, for which they have won a brace of prestigious national and international awards.

Bartholomew Square, Brighton, BN1 1JS • 01273 719 195 • www.moshimo.co.uk

Complimentary glass of Ridgeview sparkling wine with every main meal ordered Nestled inside Brighton’s top designer hotel, ‘the restaurant at drakes’ is comparably stylish and provides an amazing fine dining experiences in Sussex. Having achieved the highest score of all Brighton restaurants in The Good Food Guide 2013 for the fourth year running, the restaurant ensures outstanding quality and an elegant but unpretentious backdrop for intimate lunches and romantic dinners. For an extra special touch, the intimate Private Dining Room can be reserved for up to 12 guests and include a dedicated waiter.

43-44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE • 01273 696 934 • www. drakesofbrighton.com

A complimentary glass of house wine with every main meal ordered as part of Restaurant Week A beautiful Georgian manor house set in the heart of the Sussex countryside beautiful parkland yet only minutes from the bustling city of Brighton.

Open 7 days a week from 9am to 11pm for breakfast, coffee, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner. A warm welcome awaits to you.

Stanmer Park, Brighton, BN1 9QA • 01273 680 400 • www.stanmerhouse.co.uk

Enjoy 20% discount off the total food bill when dining in the Waterhouse Bar and Terrace Relax in style in the Waterhouse Bar and Terrace and experience their glorious hospitality whilst enjoying sumptuous delights which include cocktails, Champagne, the finest gins and whiskies. Try the wok fried squid, or quails eggs wrapped in chickpeas, savour a three tier cream tea on the terrace and delight the children with their very own Mad Hatters tea party.

Hilton Brighton Metropole, Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 2FU • 01273 775 432 • www.hilton.com/brightonmet

016_LS644_hotlist_Hotlist 30/08/2013 12:20 Page 2

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HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk British & Modern European

Indian

Bardsley’s

Chaula’s Lewes

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials.

Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Fully licensed.

Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

Ohso Social

Situated alongside Brighton Pier, occupying the best location on the beach, Ohso opens for coffees, cocktails, breakfast and dinner.

Popular for group celebrations or a romantic table for two. The heated outdoor beach terrace provides a wonderful environment for alfresco dining serving classic fish ‘n’ chips and signature mussels whilst watching the starlings dart between the piers. Ohso hosts legendary summer beach parties nightly when sunny.

Ohso Social, 250A Kings Road Arches, Brighton, BN1 1NB. Bookings 01273 590918, www.ohsosocial.co.uk

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton, 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

Music café Bom-Bane's

Drop in to Bom-Bane's for a coffee, cocktail or Belgian beer, or enjoy a tasty snack or full evening meal at one of our mechanical tables.

Delicious homely food with a Belgian twist.

Come along alone, with friends or have a tailormade party with the Bom-Bane Banquet and a surprise song written specially for your friend, colleague or loved one. They also have music, cinema (Food'n'Film for £5.55!), crossword trails etc and a homework club. Kids, grannies, students (10% off!) – everyone always warmly welcome. Come and celebrate their seventh birthday with them this month!

Tues–Sat, 12.30pm to 11.30pm Bom-Bane's 24, George Street, Brighton, BN2 1RH, 01273 606400, www.bom-banes.com

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Chaula’s Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting.

Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable.

Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99.

Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards.

The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton 01273 900 383, www.thechillipickle.com

The Chilli Pickle Canteen

The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indianinspired design, specially-commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches: with regional curries, homemade pickles and chutneys, plus superb ice creams.

The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at http://thechillipicklecanteen.com 01273 900384

Indian Summer

Indian Summer has been pioneering authentic regional food from the sub continent for over a decade. The Brighton favourite is listed in the ‘Top 100’ restaurants in the UK by the Cobra Good Curry Guide 2013 and recently

Bom Bane’s

Chaula’s Brighton

awarded Trip Advisor Certificate of Excellence.

The new lunch summer offering is completed with a selection of Thalis and new tandoori roasts on Sundays.

Indian Summer, 69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 711001, www.indian-summer.org.uk

Italian Al Duomo

Brighton’s longest established family run pizzeria, using fresh ingredients, has recently updated its menu and restaurant team. Offering a comprehensive array of traditional stone-baked pizzas made fresh daily with gourmet ingredients imported direct from Italy and authentic Italian dishes from the a la carte menu. Gluten-free pasta and vegan dishes are also offered.

Try their special lunch/pre-theatre menu at £9.95 for two courses with a great selection of choices or £12.75 for three courses.

Cocktails are available from the cocktail bar and Monday to Friday you can enjoy 2-4-1 cocktails from 3pm–9pm. Check out the special mid-week Cabaret Nights, Elvis, Michael Buble and Las Vegas Swing. Open seven days a week. Booking recommended.

Al Duomo Restaurant, 6 & 7 Pavilion Buildings, Brighton, BN1 1EE, 01273 326741, www.alduomo.co.uk

Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Thai Street Thai

Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food

and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with twocourses at £8.95 and three-courses at £10.95.

Street Thai, 01273 207444, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton BN1 1HD

Up to 50% off your food bill Table Pouncer

Table Pouncer has teamed up with Latest 7 to offer diners up to 50% off their food bill.

Register for free and take advantage of great savings. Participating restaurants change all the time, so check back and see whether your favourite is there. From Italian and Chinese to seafood and more, eating out has just got a lot more affordable. http://thelatest.co.uk/tablepouncer/

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

017_LS634_food__food 28/08/2013 16:44 Page 2

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay thrills at the inventive new menu at Graze in Hove

Crazy for Graze

17

Mr M is a squidaholic and he claims verging on becoming vegetarian. I doubt he will as he likes a bit of meat from time to time. He chose a dish of squid cooked in several ways and it was pretty out there in culinary terms, with crisp bits, broths and gels. He found it fascinating but declared that he would have enjoyed it more had the parts been separate and some had been hot.

I chose foie gras with a langoustine jelly, it was a twist on surf and turf that really paid off. The foie gras was a slice of fresh lobe seared lightly so that the piece of liver was scorched but creamy in the middle, the langoustine jelly was intense and savoury, a musky delight that balanced well the rich fatty liver. I could have eaten more but to be honest that would have been greed and probably made me rather queasy, as it was it was just right.

Mr M then, to prove his move to the dark side of vegetarianism, ordered the mushroom risotto with blackberries. And he loved it, the rich wild mushrooms turning the rice a delightful soft brown and the shiny black fruits, both sharp and sweet balancing the creaminess of the dish. It was a big dish too, a hearty option.

I was drawn to the sea trout served with potato dumplings and razor clams in a cider sauce. The sea trout was stunning, the skin crisp and salty, the flesh flaking at the slightest touch and the flavour really out there. I raved about my razor clam in cider, it was one of those dishes that I didn’t want to

A

t the ripe old age of 57 I’ve lived through rather too many food crazes. I grew up in the era of the ploughman’s lunch and chicken in a basket. I braved the ’70s in a variety of burger and pasta joints of varying qualities. I nearly starved to death in the era of nouvelle cuisine. I rallied for and against pacific rim cooking which could be so good and then so bad and I am revelling in the revival of great British dishes and plates of food that are made from locally produced seasonal food. Is it any wonder that I am a chubby old thing? No, no wonder whatsoever!

Despite all this I can still be excited by cooking, eating in as well as out, and I gather together those ideas like some kind of culinary kleptomaniac, a thieving magpie!

A few weeks back I invited Mr M to join me for supper at Graze in Hove. I have enjoyed Graze on many occasions, none less than the time we dined in style on a menu based around foraged foods. I was, I admit, dreading the evening as my dining companion was pretty much a meat and two veg sort of a bloke, but even he came out raving about the rich variety of dishes we had tried.

Now Graze has a new chef and he is every bit as inventive. There was a choice of dining a la carte or going crazy with the tasting menu. I like a tasting menu form time to time, but nothing beats a three-course dinner in my book, the satisfaction of a proper plate of food.

We started with a taster of mushrooms, a dainty dish to set before a queen, and from the get-go we knew we were in for a culinary roller coaster – thrills and, we hoped, few spills.

end and I genuinely could have eaten another ten or more of the perfectly cooked blighters basking in a rich apple infused cream.

The potato dumplings had good flavour but they had been overworked and the gluten in the potatoes had become gluey and stretchy. Not horrid but not matching the standard of the rest.

A pre dessert of citrus cream and curd with Italian meringue was a delight and a somewhat conventional precursor to my treacle sponge with smoked bacon foam and candied bacon. It was a risky dish but one that was utterly convincing, and very pretty too. Mr M chose a plate of English cheese that was both fine and in fine condition, and there was more than enough for me to have some too.

Graze continues to impress, the edgy nature of the cooking fascinates me and it’s matched by a good wine list with plenty of choices by the glass.

Graze, 42 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1JD 01273 823707 www.graze-restaurant.co.uk

Follow me: latestandrew

Dining on the edge, tell me? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

019_021_LS644_previews_editorial 30/08/2013 17:02 Page 2

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WHAT’S ON MUSIC CHART, REVIEWS&BOOKINGS

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

8

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20

Black Rooster Black Shag are back on top again while the rest of the top 20 fills up with new entries all ready to listen to. Want to see your favourites stay in the charts? The more times you listen, the higher they rise!

L7 what’s on

Under review

Bookings

STAR PERFOMER

ROBIN INCE – THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING INTERESTED

Ropetackle Centre, Shoerham, 27 September 2013, £12.50, 01273 464440, www.ropetacklecentre.co.uk Award-winning comedian and science enthusiast Robin Ince follows up his Happiness Through Science show with a look at his favourite scientists – Charles Darwin and Richard Feynman.

HAWKWIND

4 The Dead Reds People Rise

The Old Market, 5 November 2013, £20, 01273 201800, www.theoldmarket.co.uk Hawkwind, the legendary pioneers of space rock, have announced a rare and intimate appearance in Brighton. The show, which will mark their first time in Brighton in nearly a decade is extra special as it will also see them perform a full mindblowing performance in sequential entirety of their seminal album, Warrior On The Edge Of Time.

5 Boa Marks Electro Gonzalis

LEE MACK – HIT THE ROAD MACK

Words: Holly Cozens

1 Black Rooster Black Shag Amsterdam 2 Mirika Legs 4 Africa 3 The Black Fields The Fighter

6 Shoot the Dead Lullaby 7 BreakinBear Joe Cocker – Never Tear Us Apart (BreakinBear Dubstep Remix) 8 Fred Oskar Silent Soldier 9 Sans Palace Home 10 Shoot the Dead NW1

Brighton Centre, 28 September 2014, £27.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk The multi-award winning star of Not Going Out and Would I Lie To You?, Lee Mack, is going back on the road with his first live tour in four years.

Expect his trademark brand of high energy banter, well-crafted gags and sharp one-liners in one of the most hotly anticipated shows of the year.

THE MOJO FINS

13 Oceania Leone

The Old Market, 30 November 2013, £10/8, 01273 201800, www.theoldmarket.co.uk Awesome, critically acclaimed indie rock band, with support from Apple + Eve and special guests.

14 The Charge Dig It

WITTANK – THE SCHOOL

11 Sam Charles Voyager 12 Nick Conroy Forever

15 BreakinBear Fall Apart 16 Black Nail Distant Memory 17 Osaro + RJ SUPERSTAR Club edit 18 Guild Of Song Writers And Composers TELL ME – TELL ME 19 New Nobility Galactic Love 20 Matt Purkis All Around (Original Mix)

SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS

www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

Komedia, 2 March 2014, £12, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton Eminently silly sketch outfit WitTank invite you into the charmingly warped world of The School.

LEONARD COHEN Brighton Centre, 28 August 2013 ✪✪✪✪✪

C

ohen is remarkable in so many ways, songwriter, poet and performer. The voice is as rich as ever, the phrasing uniquely his own and he has surrounded himself with an international band of virtuoso musicians. And although we are treated to that virtuosity it is almost certainly not what Cohen is about.

Cohen is about the songs, his extraordinarily beautiful way with words and the seemingly simple structure of his melodies.

The audience were reverential, captivated throughout. Cohen, no spring chicken, stalks the stage, sometimes staggering like a wounded western villain shot through with pain and anguish. His works are a canon of hymns to both love and pain and no one expresses them better than him. Others try but simply do not deliver like Cohen. In a set that lasted a good three hours he gave us what we wanted.

He peppered the evening with his best loved works unlike some artists who save their ‘hits’ for the encores. He was generous too, allowing each of his band to take the limelight from time to time and gifting songs to the three divine female vocalists.

The band were tight knit but not glossy, there was still an edge to the music, essential to the integrity of the songs and although there were instrumental solos they were not simply pyrotechnic showing off but seamless additions to the whole. The same applied to the vocalists who honored his songs by sticking to them and harmonising gloriously. A faultless evening from one of the best songsmiths of the last 50 years.

Andrew Kay

KRATER COMEDY CLUB

There are loads of reasons why Komedia has won the ‘best comedy venue in the south’ award; lovely bar staff, clean loos, beefy bouncers to keep chatterers and hecklers under control, airconditioning (suddenly vital!), and funny guys on the stage. On Friday, three very different comedians plus chirpy compere Stephen Grant made us laugh for hours. Affable Sunderland comic Matt Reed faced up to a leery Stag Do and won.

Grumpy American Dave Fulton shocked with his unapologetically non-PC gags. Star Paul Sinha topped the bill and his intelligent, anecdotal style was a super finale to a giggle-tastic night.

Komedia, 16 August 2013 ✪✪✪✪ Elizabeth Hughes

THE BE GOOD TANYAS

Beautiful three-way harmonies and hushed acoustic guitars, banjos and double bass set the sweet and pretty mood for this popular Canadian alt-country band. Lead singer Frazey Ford’s voice had an impressive range and delicate quality to it, with most of their songs sounding like a quiet break on an album between more upbeat numbers. Covers of Peter Rowan’s ‘Midnight Moonlight’ and Neil Young’s ‘Birds’ were the highlights, more moving and ethereal than the band’s own TV soundtrack-friendly fare. The slow tempo needed some variation to break up the mood, but the evening passed pleasantly enough, and the crowd were delighted.

St George’s Church, 28 August 2013 ✪✪✪ Joe Fuller

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019_021_LS644_previews_editorial 30/08/2013 17:02 Page 3 Foreste

WHAT’S ON STAGE

STAGE: THE RISE & FALL OF GEO GOYNES Root Experience takes you on a journey of rediscovery as you find Brighton anew

A

story of fate and cunning on the streets of Brighton... what you would do to protect your beliefs? Root Experience takes you on a journey that will change the way you see the city of Brighton – led by a mobile phone and a spirit of adventure. Shows take place on Saturday 28 and Sunday 29 September as part of Brighton Digital Festival.

The Rise And Fall Of Geo Goynes harnesses digital technology to bring an exciting urban gaming experience to participating audiences. No need to bring your own phone though, these will be provided, to let you get on with the experience itself.

Without giving too much of the story away, you are led around the eclectic, winding lanes, streets and alley ways of Brighton where it will become clear which “role” you have in the game. You then need to find the other members of your team and complete tasks by solving clues, interacting with people and

technology along the way. Two teams take part and each team has their own journey and back stories which will unfold as the game progresses.

There are three teams playing the game and the numbers are restricted to 15 for each game – five on each team, so places are limited!

The structure of the show has been largely influenced by gaming theory and the input of Brighton Urban Gaming Zone, a team of enthusiastic and knowledgeable Sussex urban gamers.

Root Experience, a Brighton based theatre company, hve been working on ideas recently that smash together interactive theatre with digital and urban gaming allowing you to shape the action unfolding around you. You may remember the “human Tetris” on Brighton beach in the colder winter months.

Root Experience is currently looking for participants to help develop The Rise And Fall Of Geo Goynes during their residency with Blast Theory before the final show

takes place during Brighton Digital Festival. If you are interested in getting involved, contact them via www.rootexperience.co.uk Root Experience raised funds for this project using a Kickstarter campaign, which attracted backers from across the UK, America, Australia and Europe.

“A fun and frantic journey through the back-streets of Brighton. Working as a team we solved puzzles and relied on each other’s wits and ingenuity to outsmart our opposing teams in an urban adventure that was both fun and challenging.” Jonathan May – Digital Producer LIFT Festival.

The Old Market Saturday 28–Sunday 29 September, 1.30pm, 3pm, 4.30pm, 6pm, £8 in advance from The Old Market, www.theoldmarket.com STAGE: A LITTLE NONSENSE Acclaimed Bristol theatre company Juncture return to Brighton this September with an original black comedy that blends mime, slapstick, poetry and farce for a bare-knuckle look at the sharp edge of funny.

A Little Nonsense enjoyed sellout audiences and unprecedented critical acclaim during this year’s Brighton Fringe Festival. The highly original and darkly funny show, which was nominated for Most

19

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES The Resistable Rise of Arturo Rui Minerva Theatre, Chichester Until 14 Sept Box office 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk A Portrait of Matt Monro Royal Hippodrome Theatre, Eastbourne Sat 7 Sept Box office 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Dead Guilty

The Connaught, Worthing 6 & 7 September Box office 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

Groundbreaking Theatre Award at the festival, is now returning to Brighton and the Three And Ten Theatre for a second bite of the custard pie.

A Little Nonsense combines the physicality of Buster Keaton, the linguistic games of Beckett and the off-kilter world of a David Lynch movie as the audience is led between moments of hilarity, violence and dark surrealism.

“Brighton is really special to us” says Director Anna Girvan. “Sussex University is where we started out – it’s always been a really inspiring town and has coloured much of what we do.”

Juncture Theatre creates unexpected performances that champion bold, new writing and immersive experiences.

A Little Nonsense, Upstairs At The Three And Ten, Friday 20–Saturday 21 September.

Tickets £9.50/£8 Show times vary www.upstairsatthreeandten.co.uk

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019_021_LS644_previews_editorial 30/08/2013 17:03 Page 4

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WHAT’S ON COMEDY&FILM, ART&EVENTS

COMEDY: COMEDY AT THE CON Top-notch comedy makes its monthly trip to Lewes, with the pick of the fast-climbing comedy faces

C

omedy At The Con, as hosted by our very own Dave Mounfield, just returned from the Edinburgh Fringe starring in the awardwinning Big Daddy Vs Giant Haystacks, has now established Gary Delaney itself as a cornerstone in not only Lewes’ entertainment month, but also a draw from further afield.

With cracking line-ups time and again, it’s worth getting there early to baggsy your favourite seat, as the evening does have a history of selling out.

This month sees Gary Delaney topping the bill. A regular on Mock The Week, as well as having appeared on Dave’s One Night Stand, and Comedy Central’s Comedy Blue, Gary’s Twitter feed was nominated for a Chortle award back in 2011, such is the talent of the gagsmith. In fact, he is seen by many to be the natural successor to Tim Vine, adding a contemporary delivery to his pithy one-liners.

Joining Gary are Woman’s Hour regular Meryl O’Rourke, whom some might remember from the BBC’s Liquid News but was more recently heard on Radio 4’s self written and self performed serial The Hysterical Method Of Contraception.

Apparently she’s also a favourite of Tony Blair’s.

Finally on the line-up is Joe Bor, observational character comedian, actor and writer who can currently be found warming Joe Bor up the audience for The Graham Norton Show and Mock The Week, and has previously been found working the crowd for Alan Carr: Chatty Man and 8 Out Of 10 Cats. Critically acclaimed – as all three indeed are – Joe completes this strong comedy itinerary.

The Con Club, Lewes, Thursday 5 September 2013, doors 7.30pm, £10/8

Follow me: latestvicky

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

COMEDY: THE MAYDAYS CONFESSIONS Back from a successful trip to Edinburgh, these stalwarts of improvising, award-winning creators of comedy, all round good eggs, are back to collect your confessions and turn them into an hour long show. Bring your deepest darkest secrets and prepare to find them funny.

Komedia, Fri 5 Sept, 8pm, £10/8

EVENTS: BRIGHTON MINI MAKER FAIRE Want to share your passion for making and creating? Get down to the Mini Maker Faire for inspiration, ideas and the chance to buy some uniquely created arts and crafts.

You may also get a chance to have a go yourself.

Brighton Corn Exchange, Sat 7–Sun 8 Sept, 10am–5pm, £5

COMEDY: COMEDY CANOE Coming to a cosy friendly pub room near you – it’s on Western Road, it’s near everyone! – this monthly local night returns after its August hiatus with six emerging new acts and a single headliner, all hosted by your award-winning MC Ingrid Dahle. Mid week fun.

Temple Bar, Wed 4 Sept, 8pm, £4

EVENTS: QUEER QUAINT OR WEIRD WEDDING SPECTACULAR A wedding event with a difference!

This 18+ event is themed ‘Bygone to Bondage’. Exhibitors include Am Statik, Jed Phoenix, Emma Lucy Photography, Fat Cakes and lots more!

Proud Cabaret, St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Sun 8 Sept, 10.30am–4.30pm

EVENT: DON’T LOOK NOW (15) + Q&A A chance to see the classic 1973 thriller, Don't Look Now, followed by director Nicholas Roeg in conversation about filmmaking and the industry with A Field In England director and Brighton local Ben Wheatley. An unmissable event for any film fan.

Duke of York’s Picturehouse, Sun 8 Sept, 6.30pm, £11 FILM: WHITE HOUSE DOWN (12A) Dir: Roland Emmerich Director Roland Emmerich returns to The White House to give it yet another beating; not from aliens this time but an armed paramilitary group. Channing Tatum stars as

Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

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019_021_LS644_previews_editorial 30/08/2013 17:03 Page 5 Maggie Claringbould King Creosote

WHAT’S ON MUSIC&FILM, ART&EVENTS

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prints, video art and his most recent interactive projected imagery that explores and embodies evolutionary processes, physical and virtual space.

Phoenix Gallery, 10–14 waterloo Place, Brighton, 01273 603700. Sat 7 Sept–Sun 13 Oct

White House Down

the hero in this blockbuster who will attempt to save the president from a hostile invasion.

Released Fri 6 September Showing at Odeon and Cineworld FILM: ABOUT TIME (12A) Dir: Richard Curtis Rachel McAdams is the time traveller’s girlfriend in this comedy drama brought to you by Four Weddings And A Funeral and Notting Hill writer Richard Curtis. When Tim discovers he can travel in time at the age of 21, he sets about changing what happens in his life and get himself a girlfriend.

Released Weds 4 September Showing at Odeon and Cineworld ART: WE ARE ART PEOPLE An international mix of artists are featured here including portraitist Alan Coulson, who was runner up in the BP Portrait Awards, Hollywood animator Cinzia Angelini, illustrator Liam Brazier, digital artist Marco Bauriedel, and comic artist Simeon Aston. Work can be purchased. www.wearepeople.blogspot.com Naked Eye Gallery, 5 Farm Mews, Farm Road, Hove, 01273 204800.

Until 8 September ART: MUTATOR 1 + 2: EVOLUTIONARY ART Part of the Brighton Digital Festival, William Latham was a pioneer in 80s computer art, his work blending organic imagery and computer animation, and using software modeled upon the processes of evolution. This exhibition includes his early hand-drawn work, large computer generated Cibachrome

MUSIC: ALASDAIR ROBERTS & DAVID MCGUINNESS Glasgow outfit signed to the highly respected Fence Records label, part of the Fence Collective who also include King Creosote and James Yorkston amongst their extended family. Their forthcoming album, Family, a curious and captivating concoction of psych-folk, art-pop and slacker rock. Support form Brighton-based Thing In Herds, also on Fence Records, and playing an exceedingly rare gig.

Green Door Store, Sat 14 Sept, 7pm, £12.10/11 MUSIC: F*** BUTTONS Benjamin John Power and Andrew Hung who make up F*** Buttons, continue to drop highly charged, leftfield electronic-driven music.

Rather subversively, Danny Boyle used their music in his Olympics opening ceremony bash last year.

But, deservedly so.

Concorde 2, Mon 16 Sep, 7.30pm, £14

Mutator 1+2: Evolutionary Art

For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

MUSIC: PORTUGAL. THE MAN Frontman John Gourley on working with Grammy award-winning producer Danger Mouse

I

t was last spring 2012, and John Gourley – frontman of Portugal. The Man – found himself in New York City about to ring the bell at Danger Mouse’s apartment – a long way from his current home in Portland, and farther still from his real home in Alaska. Six full-length albums in six years, nonstop touring, a stint with The Black Keys and festival stops at Coachella, Bonnaroo and Lollapalooza – up until this moment, Portugal. The Man embodied all dimensions of DIY rock range.

When it came time to begin work on the seventh album, Gourley decided on a collaborative approach; from building houses with his father in Alaska to building a devoted fanbase, he had sought partnerships. So he took a bold step and rang Danger Mouse’s doorbell...

“I walked into his place,” Gourley remembers, “and it wasn’t going to happen. He was like, ‘Hey, man, just so you know, I don’t really want to record a rock band.’ And I was a little relieved. We’d done this by ourselves before, and we knew we could do it by ourselves again.”

Danger Mouse revealed how much he loved In The Mountain In The Cloud, the 2011 follow-up to Portugal. The Man’s break out record The Satanic Satanist. “From that very first meeting,” says Danger Mouse, “we were very ambitious about what we could do... otherwise there was no point. So we decided to try and make something really special.”

So, Danger Mouse – aka Brian Burton, the five-time Grammy award winning producer behind the likes of Gnarls Barkley, Beck, The Black Keys and, more recently, U2 —and the band agreed that they were game for the challenge and began production on what would become Evil Friends.

Together they decamped to Los Angeles and spent a good year, slowing things down, taking their time, evolving Evil Friends into the record it is. “I felt like I was watching them do something special, and I wanted to let them do it, so sometimes I was more hands-on, but sometimes more hands-off than I had been with anyone” says Danger Mouse. “They had done enough albums that I thought it would be fun to shake it up a little bit.”

“In the beginning, I asked Brian why he had wanted to talk about making a record,” recalls Gourley. “And he admitted that he was surprised when he saw us live. ‘I didn’t know you guys could sound like that’. There had been this perception that we’ve been something else — and I’ve noticed it, at festivals, everywhere — that we were something we were not.

Portugal. The Man, The Haunt, Thursday 12 September, 7pm, £7.50

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latest musicbar the place for parties!

•atmospheric •affordable •avalable any night •you make the booking •we make it happen

•birthdays •weddings •civil partnerships •office parties •business events •hen & stag nights •tell us what you want •we provide it all! call ruth on 01273 687171 or email: bookings@thelatest.co.uk www.thelatest.co.uk/musicbar

022_023_LS644_brightonafterdark_editorial 29/08/2013 17:08 Page 2

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WHAT’S ON CLUBS

L7 SADE ALI ON THE 21 MOST EMBARRASSING THINGS TO HAPPEN TO YOU IN A CLUB

Bmusic Brighton rocks, still

L

ike other cities in the UK which boast a cultural imprint due a distinct music scene and sound, such as Manchester, Bristol and Liverpool, so too Brighton has recently grappled with escaping the large shadow cast by the ‘big-beat’ movement of the late ‘90s. And while Fat Boy Slim’s shadow still looms large over the seaside town it has been adopted natives Nick Cave, Bat For Lashes and the Blood Red Shoes who have kept the city on the national musical map since the turn of the last decade.

However over recent months national blogs, press and print media have begun reporting about a battalion of exciting new bands and musicians who can be seen regularly performing as part of Brighton’s thriving live music scene.

Venues like The Green Door Store, The Prince Albert, The Blind Tiger and The Hope regularly champion new bands, and it is guitars which are featuring most prominently across these local line-ups.There is a host of unique and distinct new bands, exemplified by The Wytches, TRAAMS, Skirts and Tigercub (to name but a very few), who are developing their own brand of psychedelic punk to growing audiences and a palpable air of community spirit.

With a healthy number of local promoters also supporting home grown acts, there is a sense that a new cultural identity is forming around the members of this close-knit fraternity. It could also mark it as one of the most exciting times to be living in Brighton and being able to access exciting new sounds on our doorstep, and confirming what the locals have known all along, that great music at the seaside does not simply last the length of the Great Escape Weekend.

For the latest music news join us on www.facebook.com/BmusicTV Words: JJ Symon

@Bmusic_TV

Youtube.com/thisisBmusic

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

1. Not getting in! That's always awkward.

2. Wearing killer heels and falling down the stairs... all the way to the bottom, underwear showing and everything.

3. When someone asks for your number so you give a fake one, then they try and ring you and your phone is in your hand, so they realise it’s a fake number. (Not cool.)

4. Wearing a white top/dress and spilling your drink so you have visible drink stains all night.

5. Ordering a drink and not having enough money to pay for it. It gets worse when a stranger has to offer to buy it.

6. Walking out of the toilets with toilet roll stuck to your shoe (it’s trying to be part of your swag).

7. A guy chatting up a girl when he’s already got another girl’s make-up on his shirt... Cringe!

8. Someone catching you singing the wrong words to a song.

9. Shouting about the place: “I’ve lost my phone”, when really it’s chilling in your bra, or even worse – in your hand!

10. When you’re in a group, all of you are dancing and one of your friends really can’t dance. It’s too harsh to say anything!

11. When you request a song to the DJ and he clearly tells you: “NO!” 12. When you get that drunk that you tell everyone: “I'm not saying this because I'm drunk, I really love you”.

13. Lighting the wrong end of your cigarette.

14. Being the only person in the smoking area without a cigarette.

15. Being asked if your passport photo is really you, because it’s that shockingly bad!

16. One of your fake eyelashes comes loose – every time you blink it flaps!

17. You can’t find your drink so you accuse all of your friends of drinking it, then they tell you that you finished it ten minutes ago.

18. The champagne cork fly kicking you in the face when someone pops a bottle!

19. Let’s face it, face planting the floor is never cool, especially when the DJ gives you a shout out afterwards!

20. Seeing a fight outside the club, and that one idiot shouting: “Don’t test me, I’m from London” – quoting the postcode as well: “SE1 BBK”. It is never cool to have a fight outside or inside a club!

21. Seeing the photos being uploaded to Facebook; not one nice one of you!

@SadeAli

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

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WHAT’S ON CLUBS

>DON’T MISS< SONGS FOR THE DEAF If there is nothing you like more than a nostalgic night out, listening to the best of grunge, pop punk and rock from the ‘90s to the early noughties then this is the place to be. Bring your friends and celebrate the good old days!

Sticky Mike’s Frog Bar, Fri 6 Sep, 10.30pm, Free

23

BRIGHTON NOISE

GLAM Visit Brighton’s ultimate VIP super club for a raucous Saturday night with some great music and entertainment.

Be part of a great clubbing experience whether you VIP it up or not.

Shooshh, Sat 7 Sept, 10pm, £7/5

Alastair Reid on this week’s best gigs

A

ugust was a remarkably good month for Brighton bands so it’s time for a little retrospective on the stand-out releases. That is why we’re here, after all, to highlight the best our city has to offer. Sam Organ (if that is your real name) can normally be found leading the charge of widdly prog wig-outs for The Physics House Band with enviable dexterity but apparently he’s got enough time on his hands to drop a three track EP of excellent electronica. As KLDSCP, he has been hosting regular electronica nights for local artists at Sticky Mike’s but with Y he haunts the ghosts of circuit boards with spacious, glitchy instrumentals.

Another stand out release for August came in the form of Oliver Newton’s The Lunchtime Sardine Club. Icecapdes, the second offering from DIY label Sonic Anhedonic Recording Company, has been picking up positive reviews for the lush production that sits alongside Newton’s psych-folk minuets, crystal clear harmonies carrying the tune over acoustic guitars and fuzzedout solos interspersed with field recordings and seaside sonic ambiguity.

Newton recorded almost every instrument himself, save for the occasional bassline and extra set of hands, making the fact that his normal creative output is behind the kit for Bermuda Ern, Vincent Vocoder Voice (both due releases on SARC), Saint Coltrane or Yndi Halda all the more impressive.

Both of the the above can be streamed and downloaded on the respective artists’ Bandcamp pages. Now for a little live action.

This week sees another Brighton Noise Night in the form of Belgium’s psykraut cinoisematic trio Industroika, supported by local indie-rockers Monsters Build Mean Robots and sample-tweakers Spacenoid on Thursday at The Prince Albert. If that doesn’t sound like your thing then another selection of local luminaries are playing at the Corn Exchange, with postrock trio The Hundredth Anniversary and electronica producer Luo supporting Phoria, who have been riding the wave of positive reviews since their EP Bloodworks came out in April.

A final tip of the hat and tap of the nose goes in the direction of more post-rock with Fox in the City at The Prince Albert (Wed), the big hair and bigger riffs of Steve Vai at the Concorde (Thu)and Sub Pop’s jazz punk outfit Merchandise at The Haunt (Fri). Go get something new in your week.

More info at www.brightonnoise.co.uk

HOT MESS It’s mid week and you’re dying for some music and energy to get you through the next couple of days before the weekend. You will indeed be a Hot Mess at this fun hip-hop, garage and bashment night.

10 Below, Weds 4 Sept, 11pm, £3 SUNDOWN While some people will be curled up on a Sunday night, waiting for the start of a new work week to begin, you can choose to party on with a night of the best underground house and deep house music.

Wah Kiki, Sun 8 Sept, 11pm, Free

@BrightonNoise

Pic Tom Scrace

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

Steve Vai

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

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STARS | TV

STARS With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

Where some relationships may have let you down recently, having been fraught with hard to resolve disputes of an emotional nature, you’ll be pleased with the change of vibe as your ruler Mars moves into the more favourable Leo.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

The new Moon in the fifth house of romance could be the start of something special, also boding well for creative projects that kick start this week. Take this opportunity to smooth over relationships at work.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

It’s hard to believe that your social life could step up a notch, but indeed it always can! There are no limits to where your mercurial curiosities could lead, as this week harbours a favourable change from upbeat Mars into the fun loving and dramatic sign of Leo.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

When opportunity knocks, what will you do? Sometimes you are risking more when you risk nothing, or so the saying goes. Think in terms of a positive outcome as nothing will help you grow and see the world better than taking a leap into the unknown.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

You’ve definitely got your Mojo back now that Mars has made a bold move into your sign, bringing with him the courage and bravado of a warrior. Just remember that not every conversation needs to turn into an argument or a battle of wills.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

The new Moon in your sign is a springboard to reinvent yourself anew in preparation for what is essentially a new year for you after your birthday. Now is a great time to begin new projects as your energy is starting to pick up.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

What starts out today as a positive whirlwind of friendly camaraderie could tern competitive now that Mars is making his mark in your friendship zone. Take it all on the chin as it could help you get more done and be more motivated.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

You’re going to be hard pushed not to take the lead now that the energy of the warrior Mars is magnanimous at the zenith of your chart in Leo. Who, if not you, can fight the good fight?

Just remember that patience is a virtue worth having.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

With both the illuminating Sun and quick witted Mercury peaking at the highest point in your chart, you’re able to prove your worth and skills, making a good impression on all the right people. Love is now daring so you’d be right to look further afield.

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Partners may seem a little over the top but when interpreting the world via the avenue of their feelings, it’s never going to be neat and tidy. If you wish to help your partner to be at their best, you may need to show compassion and lend a caring ear.

Being generous in your display of love.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

You’ve got a magnetism about you and can attract some rogish suiters. However, conflicts can arise especially in partnership if you spend too long putting yourself first.

Partners may be fighting or competing for attention, you’ll have the most fun when including them in your plans.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

The new Moon in your partnership zone implies a fresh start in relationship or indeed the dawn of a new collaboration.

You’re best suited to doing the dogs work alone as the ego energies of Mars could pour gunpowder on the fire, fuelling unnecessary conflicts at work.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 83 – 9 SEPTEMBER to the characters and city. Like last week’s was all about getting to know Flack and his family better, this week’s sees Adam telling the show’s main murder-tracking storyline as a fairytale to a couple of bored kids waiting while their mother is With Victoria Nangle off picking the best criminal person in a line-up.

Indeed, great plot-turns and princess story keypoints – who doesn’t like being led to a crime scene next to castle by a solitary shiny shoe?

But really? Adam? Do you really want to let them know that nice ladies who pull themselves up by their bootstraps die once violently once they’ve sorted their lives out? Think of the children! o this is it. The final season of CSI: New I am enjoying this series of CSI: NY, and York. After seeing its happy birth, difficult although I was there at the beginning I must competition with its older brother CSI: admit to having drifted away as Channel 5 began Miami, and then final embrace state-wide as Mac to be awash with specialist crime series taking joined the chase with Horatio and Ray for a serial their names from their initials. Mac started off killer on the run, it’s now time to witness its nine years ago broken by the death of his wife in demise. Boo! But at episode six out of a total of the World Trade Center disaster. It would have seventeen, the indications are that this team are been ridiculous to have an emergency services going out determined that we care drama series set in New York in about them goddarnnit.

2004 without making some nod to “Where are we that huge event. But now, like New So, Mac started off the series on the mend but now he can’t identify the Mac may have other bumps heading in this York, colour red, and other useful things. and bruises but he’s found a new Lindsay was knocked out with a – not to usurp the old but to swan song of a love serious head injury, almost killed by a help him through the now and to very cross teacher, and my hasn’t warm his grizzly cockles more final series?” little Lucy grown! By the way, the fact than that old bass guitar ever did. that they bottled out of having the I do think this might be the best entire Lindsay-injury episode sans dialogue felt like a series yet, and we’ve still got eleven more bit of a shame. They made it to the halfway point, episodes to come. Plenty of time to get to know which seemed to prove the point that they could the crime-fighting guys and gals better, as well most likely make it wordless for an entire episode. as quite possibly risk life and limb. If they’ve got What happened? Did the writers run out of time? nothing to come back for next season, whose to Such a shame. Clearly they didn’t remember the triple say they’ll wait until the final episode to say Emmy nomination Buffy The Vampire Slayer picked their goodbyes? up for its mostly mute episode, ‘Hush’. But that’s CSI: NY, Channel 5, Tuesday 3 September 2013 beside the point. We’re on episode six, and where are we heading in this swan song of a final series?

Actually, I think what they’re trying to do is Follow me: latestvicky make this the best series ever of individual odes

Telly Talk

Bye bye CSI S

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tuesday 3 CSI: NY Channel Five, 9pm Flack is the avenging knight in shining armour in this odd fairy tale, as a woman dressed in a ballgown is found in a lake. No Excalibur here, but definitely foul play. While Adam keeps a couple of small girls occupied when they are stuck waiting for their mother at the NYPD bullpen with a tale filled with intrigue.

The Woman Who Woke Up Chinese BBC1, 10.35pm It sounds like the punchline to a joke but this is a very serious and real condition for Sarah Colwell, who was rushed to hospital with what she thought was a severe migraine only to wake up to find her Plymouth accent had been usurped. She finds out more about Foreign Accent Syndrome.

Bad Education BBC3, 10pm A new term and a new series of Jack Whitehall’s school-based comedy, where the teachers are more hapless than the kids. It’s the annual swimming gala and headmaster Mr Fraser decides the best thing would be to pay homage to Splash and organise their own synchronised diving competition. Water fight!

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Plan It, Build It 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Wanted Down Under 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless

6.00am This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.50 Plan It, Build It 8.20 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 9.05 You’ve Been Scammed 9.35 Britain’s Big Wildlife Revival 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.05 The Super League Show 1.45 Classic Mastermind 2.15 Great British Menu 2.45 Animal Park 3.30 Talking Pictures 4.15 A Picture Of Britain 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Star Treatment 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Storage Hoarders 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Long Lost Family 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the show.

6.30 Flog It! Trade Secrets Trade Secrets looks at some of the smallest Flog It! finds, and some of the largest.

7.30 Swansea Market Documentary series charting three months in the lives of traders at Swansea Market.

8.00 The Great British Bake Off It’s week three, and the heat in the kitchen is already too much for some, as the remaining 11 bakers get ready to deal with desserts.

9.00 The Midwives – A Natural Choice Series following the work of midwives at Birmingham Women’s Hospital. This episode focuses on different methods of delivery.

10.00 Family Tree Sitcom. Bea and Pete decide to spend their last day in California at the beach.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 America’s Stoned Kids Professor John Marsden heads to Colorado in America, a state which voted to legalise the recreational use of cannabis in November 2012.

12.20am Sign Zone: Paul O’Grady’s Working Britain 4.00 Adapting Carmen: Re-imagining 4.30 Making Media 4.55 William Whiskerson (x4) 5.55 Wonders Of Nature: Caterpillar To Butterfly – Change

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Rhona suffers severe withdrawal symptoms as she goes cold turkey.

7.30 Aussie Animal Island Series looking at how scientists are using the protected habitat of Maria Island, off the east coast of Tasmania, as a place of refuge for Australian animals under threat. The first episode follows a group of Tasmanian devils.

8.00 Ade In Adland First of two programmes in which Adrian Edmondson journeys through the archives, discovering how TV ads have reflected the ways Britain has changed over the past 60 years.

9.00 Trauma: Level One First of two programmes exploring the effect of trauma on families and loved ones and the difficult split-second decisions doctors face when trying to save a life.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Words Of The Titanic Special programme re-telling the story of the liner’s fateful voyage using the diaries, personal accounts and letters of its passengers and crew.

11.35 In Plain Sight Mary tries to protect a drag queen who cannot seem to keep himself off the stage.

12.25am In Plain Sight 1.10 Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am Childen’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Monkey 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Animal A&E 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Accused At 17 (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Animal A&E Documentary series about Ireland’s veterinary clinics.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Monkey Life Series about Monkey World in Dorset, the world’s largest ape rescue centre. Jeremy tries to coax overweight orang Oshine outdoors.

7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland.

8.00 Yosemite Park Slayer: Born To Kill? Documentary. In 1999, Carole Sund, her 15-year-old daughter Juli and Juli’s friend Silvina Pelosso embarked on a visit to Yosemite National Park, California. The party vanished. The killer was eventually revealed as Cary Stayner, a depraved, conscienceless killer who had fooled everyone he had ever come into contact with.

9.00 CSI: NY See highlights.

10.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Celebrity BB house.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Celebrity Big Brother-related news and debate.

12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.55 SuperCasino 4.00 Divine Designs 4.25 HouseBusters 4.50 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.35 Nick’s Quest

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Irish Danske Bank Premiership Football 10.00 FL72 Review 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm US Open Tennis 1.00 Irish Danske Bank Premiership Football 2.00 FL72 Review 3.00 US Open Tennis 4.00 LIVE US Open Tennis 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football Gold 11.15 Football Gold 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Live US Open Tennis 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 Barclays Premier League Review

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show.

7.30 EastEnders Carl continues with his quest to bring Max down but Max refuses to let Carl get to him. Instead, Max focuses his attention on Jack who is struggling to deal with the news about Ronnie’s release.

8.00 Holby City There is an emergency when a patient is brought in with an unexploded device embedded in his chest and Harry endangers his colleagues’ lives with his maverick approach.

9.00 New Tricks When bloodstained clothes belonging to Simon Belgrade, missing for five years, are uncovered in Epping Forest, UCOS find themselves trying to solve the conundrum of what seems to have been the perfect vanishing act.

Standing finally faces up to a childhood fear, while Griffin is a comfort to Pullman as she passes a milestone.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Woman Who Woke Up Chinese See highlights.

11.30 Goodnight Britain Sian Williams presents the first part of a two-part documentary tackling the nation’s biggest sleep disorders.

12.30am Weatherview 12.35 News

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 7.05 According To Jim 7.35 Will And Grace 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 The Big Bang Theory 10.35 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things 12.35 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 1.05 FILM: The Riddle Of The Sands (1979) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes is devastated by the extremes she has to endure.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Double Your House For Half The Money Young couple Richard and Sarah bought a picture perfect cottage in Ardens Grafton in the lovely Warwickshire countryside, which, like many rural properties, has been extended, bit-by-bit over time.

9.00 Top Boy Drama series about young people living on an estate in east London. Rafe rescues his brother Jermaine, who is held captive by Sully and Mike, and vows to take revenge.

10.00 Desert Hostages Documentary telling the terrifying story of British hostages trapped by Al Qaeda in an Algerian gas plant earlier this year.

11.05 Random Acts 11.10 The Lost Hero Of 9/11 The remarkable story of a heroic law student and former US Marine who saved two men from the rubble following the 9/11 attacks.

12.15am PokerStars.com Caribbean Adventure 1.10 KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.35 Beach Volleyball FIVB 2.30 Mobil 1 The Grid 3.00 Volkswagen Racing Cup 3.25 Long Course Weekend Sport 3.55 Outlaw Triathlon 4.50 Ironman 5.15 4 Rooms

Sky Sports 2 6.00am SPFL Round-Up 6.30 TBA 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 US Open Tennis 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 Live ODI Cricket 7.00pm Revista De La Liga 8.00 ODI Cricket 9.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 10.00 ODI Cricket 11.00 Barclays Premier League Review 12.00am The Footballers’ Football Show 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Barclays Premier League Review 3.00 Football Asia 3.30 Football Gold 3.45 Football Gold 4.00 ODI Cricket 5.00 Super League Backchat 5.30 Football Asia

Sky Sports 3 6.00am FL72 Review 7.00 Irish Danske Bank Premiership Football 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 British Rally Championship 10.00 Spruce Meadows 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 1.30 LGU Monthly 2.00 European Tour Golf 3.00 Live Elite League Speedway 5.00 Premier League Review 6.00 Challenge Series Golf 6.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 7.30 Sports Unlimited 8.30 Sporting Greats 9.00 Sporting Greats 9.30 Deutsche Bank Championship 10.30 Super League Backchat 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 ODI Cricket 2.00 London Triathlon 3.00 Poker 4.00 DTM Motor Racing 5.00 Ladies European Tour Golf Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

7.00am The Middle (x8) 11.00 Glee (x4) 3.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Modern Family (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 A Touch Of Cloth II: Undercover Cloth 11.00 A Touch Of Cloth II: Behind The Scenes 11.30 Arrow (x2) 1.30am Nothing To Declare (x3)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Insider 9.00 New: Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 New: Bad Education. See highlights. 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am American Dad! 12.30 New: Bad Education 1.00 New: Don’t Tell The Bride 2.00 The Insider

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Nature’s Microworlds 8.00 Britain On Film 8.30 What Do Artists Do All Day 9.00 Ancient Greece: The Greatest Show On Earth 10.00 20th Century Battlefields 11.00 Stories From The Dark Earth: Meet The Ancestors Revisited 12.00am The Somme: Secret Tunnel Wars

4.10pm The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed!

9.00 Hell’s Kitchen 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.50 FILM: The Break-Up (2006) 12.55am Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Ronan Keating

11.50am The Father Dowling Mysteries 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Wild At Heart 2.55 Wycliffe 4.00 The Upper Hand 4.35 Second Thoughts 5.10 Home To Roost 5.45 Downton Abbey 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 DCI Banks 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.05am Wycliffe

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 New Girl 9.30 The Mindy Project 10.00 Happy Endings 10.30 The Cleveland Show 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am 8 Out Of 10 Cats: Uncut 12.50 90210

11.25am FILM: The Day Will Dawn (1942) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Grand Designs 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Kirstie Allsopp’s Home Style 10.00 One Born Every Minute 11.05 Sex On Wheels 12.15am Come Dine With Me

11.00am The Spoilers (1955) 12.40pm Knights Of The Round Table (1953) 3.00 The Lavender Hill Mob (1951) 4.40 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 6.55 Romancing The Stone (1984) 9.00 The Bank Job (2008) 11.10 Final Destination 3 (2006) 1.00am Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) 3.25 Close

S S 6.

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wednesday 4 Whitechapel ITV1, 9pm Brand new series of the crime drama and DI Chandler, DS Miles and the team are hot on the case of a most bizarre death – a man murdered by way of being crushed to death. But how does the killer commit his crime? Well, the method becomes clearer, and Chandler comes across a sinister 16th century precedent. Yikes!

Wentworth Prison Channel Five, 10pm We’re sorry Mr Jackson, this is for real!!! Well, it’s pretend but let’s go with it, as Mr Jackson is torn asunder by his grief and is obsessed with finding his wife’s killer. Hardly surprising as they seemed to be the most balanced people in the slammer.

Meanwhile, Doreen makes a heartbreaking decision.

Comedy Fest Live 2013 BBC3, 9pm Want to keep your finger on the pulse of cutting edge comedy without all the hoo-ha of traipsing up to Edinburgh for it’s annual Fringe? Look no further! Adam Hills hosts this round-up, mixing established acts like Lee Nelson, Joe Wilkinson and Phill Jupitus with some of the best rising stars breaking through.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Plan It, Build It 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Wanted Down Under 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Rip Off Food Series tackling the tricks of the trade used by food manufacturers and supermarkets.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef It’s final week on Celebrity MasterChef and the contestants must take their food above and beyond 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Celebrity genealogy series.

EastEnders star Nitin Ganatra moved to England from Kenya when he was just three years old. Now Nitin has questions about his identity and wants to investigate why his family left Kenya, and why they immigrated to Africa from India in the first place.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Call Centre Documentary series following staff in the third largest call centre in Swansea. CEO Nev hits the road to find a replacement contract for the call centre.

11.35 FILM: The Edge Of Love (2008) Starring Matthew Rhys, Keira Knightley, Sienna Miller. When the Welsh poet Dylan Thomas and his flirtatious wife Caitlin sweep into war-torn London, the last thing they expect is to bump into Dylan’s childhood sweetheart Vera.

1.20am Weatherview 1.25 News

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.45 Plan It, Build It 8.15 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 9.00 Rick Stein’s India 10.00 Natural World – Sri Lanka: Elephant Island 11.00 BBC News 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm The Weakest Link 1.45 Classic Mastermind 2.15 Great British Menu 2.45 Animal Park 3.30 Talking Pictures 4.15 How We Built Britain 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Flog It! Trade Secrets Advice on which antique tools are worth looking out for.

7.30 Swansea Market Series tracking the lives of Swansea Market traders.

8.00 Hairy Bikers’ Meals On Wheels Back On The Road In 2011 the Hairy Bikers undertook their biggest challenge yet, riding to the rescue of meals on wheels. Now Si and Dave are back on the road, keen to find out if their plans have flourished or fallen apart.

9.00 The Many Faces Of Michael Crawford Documentary tracing the career of one of Britain’s most versatile stars – Michael Crawford.

10.00 The Culture Show: YouTube – The Future Of TV? Investigative journalist Jacques Peretti ventures into the world of YouTube as it hits one billion users a month.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Midwives – Old Mum, Young Mum Series following the work of midwives in hospitals.

12.20am Dara O Briain’s Science Club 1.20 Sign Zone: The Culture Show: Venice - A Tale Of Two Cities 4.00 Ask Laray (x4) 4.50 Compose Yourself 5.20 Performances From The BBC Philharmonic Orchestra – Adams And Saint-Saens 5.40 Performances From The BBC Philharmonic Orchestra – Mendelssohn And

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Star Treatment 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Storage Hoarders 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Long Lost Family 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 7.05 According To Jim 7.35 Will And Grace 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 The Big Bang Theory 10.35 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things 12.35 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 12.55 FILM: Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Will Mercedes endanger herself while trying to protect her family?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 How Not To Get Old This episode considers the trend of anti-wrinkle injections among younger people.

9.00 Grand Designs Property series with Kevin McCloud.

Gwyn and Kate were desperate for more space for their growing family and had set on building a traditional new house for themselves. But their plans changed when they fell for a decaying classic 1920s cinema in the heart of their home town of Thorne in South Yorkshire.

10.00 The Last Leg Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker present the comedy show featuring special guest Boris Johnson.

10.50 I’m Spazticus Hidden camera prank show in which individuals with disabilities play practical jokes on unsuspecting members of the public.

11.25 Random Acts 11.30 ITunes Festival 2013 Lauren Laverne, Tom Ravenscroft and Will Best present highlights.

12.05am Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 12.50 Shameless USA 1.45 FILM: Vicky Donor (2012) 3.55 FILM: Waterloo Road (1944) 5.10 Countdown 5.55 SuperScrimpers

6.00 - 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Monkey 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Animal A&E 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Shattered Silence (2012) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Animal A&E Documentary series about Ireland’s veterinary clinics. In the series finale, we head to Cork to follow vet Shane Guerin on his latest case.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 The Hotel Inspector Documentary series. Alex Polizzi visits a hotel and nightclub in Essex that is run by a family who are simply not dancing to the same beat.

8.00 Nurses Fly-on-the-wall documentary series following some of the 6,500 frontline nurses of the Cardiff & Vale University Health Board. Nurses Wayne Parsons and James Brewster-Liddle treat rugby fans at their alcohol treatment centre.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction Emma Willis presents exclusive highlights of all the latest events from inside the Celebrity Big Brother house. Who will be leaving?

10.00 Wentworth Prison See highlights.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Eviction Interview Following the latest eviction, a chat with the celebrity who has left the house.

11.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Celebrity Big Brother-related news and debate.

12.30am Pokerstars: The Big Game 1.25 SuperCasino 4.00 Divine Designs 4.25 HouseBusters 4.50 House Doctor 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Nick’s Quest

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Premier League Review 11.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 12.00pm US Open Tennis 1.00 Premier League Review 2.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 3.00 US Open Tennis 4.00 LIVE US Open Tennis 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Football Gold 11.30 Futbol Mundial 12.00am LIVE US Open Tennis 4.00 What’s The Story? 5.00 Football Gold 5.30 Futbol Mundial

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale An innocent man is arrested for Cameron’s crimes.

7.30 Coronation Street A distressed and frightened Craig decides to run away. Hayley’s friends are devastated by the bad news.

8.00 Big Star’s Little Star Stephen Mulhern presents a brand new entertainment series which invites some of Britain’s most famous faces and their children to reveal all in a bid to win £15,000 for charity.

Guests in the first show are actor Will Mellor and his daughter Renee, singer Jamelia and her daughter Tiani and former EastEnders star Nina Wadia with her son Aidan.

9.00 Whitechapel See highlights.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Great Night Out Glyn’s plans for a fancy dress birthday party nearly come unstuck when a schoolboy row between Daz and Hodge resurfaces. Beggsy gets a surprise visit from his ex-wife Mandy, and soon realises that their relationship is still warm. Glyn learns that honesty really is the best policy when trying to win Julie’s affections.

11.35 The Dales Adrian Edmondson presents the documentary series about life in the Yorkshire Dales.

12.00am Jackpot247 3.00 Columbo: Mind Over Mayhem 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Challenge Series Golf 6.30 TBA 7.00 WWE Vintage 8.00 US Open Tennis 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Football Gold 10.00 Premier League Review 11.00 ODI Cricket 12.00pm Revista De La Liga 1.00 British Motocross Championship 2.00 DTM Motor Racing 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.00 Premier League Review 5.00 Total Rugby 5.30 Futbol Mundial 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Football Gold 7.30 LIVE Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 10.00 What’s The Story?

11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 Fishing Gurus 12.00am Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 1.00 What’s The Story? 2.00 Football Gold 2.30 Futbol Mundial 3.00 Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 4.00 Fishing Gurus 4.30 Boots ‘n’ All 5.30 Football Gold

Sky Sports 3 6.00am London Triathlon 7.00 Revista De La Liga 8.00 Sol Barbados Rally 9.00 DTM Motor Racing 10.00 British Motocross Championship 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm London Triathlon 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Super League Backchat 2.30 Thrillseekers 3.00 Sol Barbados Rally 4.00 Super League Backchat 4.30 WWE: The Bottom Line 5.30 WWE Afterburn 6.30 Fishing Gurus 7.00 LIVE Greyhound Racing 9.00 PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Inside The PGA Tour 12.00am Champions Tour Golf 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All 2.00 Max Power 3.00 PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 5.00 Watersports World Victoria Nangle

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6.00am Brainiac: Science Abuse 7.00 The Middle (x8) 11.00 Glee (x4) 3.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Modern Family (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Harrow: A Very British School 9.00 The Cafe 10.00 Chickens 10.30 A League Of Their Own 11.30 Road Wars (x2) 1.30am Nothing To Declare

7.00pm Barely Legal Drivers 8.00 Free Speech: Law And Order Special 9.00 Comedy Fest Live 2013 10.00 Boom Town 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am Comedy Fest Live 2013 1.10 New: Bad Education 1.40 Boom Town 2.10 Free Speech

7.00pm News 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 Harlots, Housewives And Heroines: A 17th Century History For Girls 9.00 Mechanical Marvels: Clockwork Dreams 10.00 Gibraltar: My Rock 10.50 Lost Kingdoms Of South America 11.50 The Final Frontier? A Horizon Guide To The Universe 12.50am The Sky At Night

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(x2) 8.00 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed!

9.00 Girlfriends 10.00 FILM: Fool’s Gold (2008) 12.25am America’s Got Talent 2.05 Life’s Funniest Moments

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Wild At Heart 2.55 Wycliffe 4.00 The Upper Hand 4.35 Second Thoughts 5.05 Home To Roost 5.40 Downton Abbey 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Love Your Garden (x2) 10.00 Wire In The Blood 11.35 Law & Order: UK 12.35am Kavanagh QC

2.05pm Scrubs (x2) 3.05 Charmed 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: The Devil Wears Prada (2006) 10.10 Rude Tube 11.15 8 Out Of 10 Cats: Uncut 12.15am The Big Bang Theory 12.45 New Girl

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 10.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 11.05 Sex Story: Fifty Shades Of Grey 12.05am Celebrity Come Dine With Me

11.00am Went The Day Well? (1944) 12.50pm That Riviera Touch (1966) 2.50 Carry On Spying (1964) 4.35 Charlotte Gray (2001) 6.55 The Jewel Of The Nile (1985) 9.00 It’s Complicated (2009) 11.20 From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) 1.25am Side By Side (2012) 3.25 Close

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thursday 5 Location, Location, Location Channel 4, 8pm It’s first time buyer week, which means unmeetable expectations and making every penny count.

Go on, put your purchasepotential goggles on and stop worrying about the wallpaper.

Especially as this week’s couples are looking in South London, not renowned for being much of a bargain oasis.

Pat And Cabbage ITV1, 8.30pm ITV1 must’ve been so chuffed with themselves for seeing this gap in the market. After gay gentlemen of a certain age coming to the fore in Vicious, this latest comedy focuses on two ladies who are a bit older, and both single for the first time in their lives. Starring Cherie Lunghi and Barbara Flynn.

The Big Reunion: On Tour ITV2, 9pm You saw them come together to prepare for the tour. Here’s the tour. All the backstage gossip from 5ive, B*Witched, Honeyz and Liberty X. Not least of which is why 5ive is now made up of four members with the notable absence of J Brown. Now it’s his turn to explain why he made the decision not to come back. Juicy!

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Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Plan It, Build It 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Wanted Down Under 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless

6.00am This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.50 Plan It, Build It 8.20 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 9.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming 10.05 Raymond Blanc: How To Cook Well 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 The Weakest Link 1.45 Classic Mastermind 2.15 Great British Menu 2.45 Animal Park 3.30 Talking Pictures 4.15 How We Built Britain 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Star Treatment 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Storage Hoarders 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Long Lost Family 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 7.10 According To Jim 7.35 Will And Grace 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 The Big Bang Theory 10.35 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things 12.35 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 12.50 FILM: Hellfighters (1969) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it’s got Britain talking then it will get talked about on The One Show.

7.30 EastEnders As Carl is slumped over the wheel, Phil is left fighting for his life as he has been thrown through the car window. An air ambulance is called but will Phil make it?

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Waterloo Road School-based drama. As the school mourns the loss of Tom, Audrey gets out of her depth when she suspects new pupils, Lenny and Lisa, are being neglected.

9.00 Celebrity MasterChef It’s the penultimate Celebrity MasterChef challenge. The remaining celebrities must now draw on everything that they have learned over the past few weeks and cook to the very highest of standards if they are to impress judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace. Firstly they must replicate one of John’s own dishes.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Who Do You Think You Are? Repeat of Wednesday’s programme.

11.35 FILM: The Greatest (2009) Starring Pierce Brosnan, Susan Sarandon, Carey Mulligan. Emotive drama.

1.10am Holiday Weatherview 1.15 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Flog It! Trade Secrets Flog It! pays homage to the visitors who manage to bag an antique bargain.

7.30 Swansea Market Series tracking the lives of Swansea Market traders over three of the busiest months of their year.

8.00 Hairy Bikers’ Meals On Wheels Back On The Road The Bikers head north to Slaithwaite in West Yorkshire where Si and Dave helped a team of volunteers start a brand new meals on wheels.

9.00 Mum And Dad Are Splitting Up Harsh news, whenever it arrives.

10.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and the team find the comedy in the week’s news with the help of guests Rob Beckett, Ed Byrne and Stewart Francis.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Martin Luther King And The March On Washington Documentary commemorating the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s March on Washington, a pivotal moment in the Civil Rights Movement in the United States.

12.20am The Review Show 1.20 Sign Zone: Britain’s Biggest Hoarders 2.20 Sign Zone: What Remains 3.55 Writing For Walford 4.25 How To Write 4.55 Vikings 5.35 What Makes Me, Me 5.50 Wonders Of Nature: Polar Bear – Mother And Baby 5.55 Homes Under The Hammer

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Adam’s protests of innocence fall on deaf ears. Amy concocts a plan to get close to Kyle.

7.30 The Unhealthy Generation: Tonight One in three children living in the UK is now overweight or obese. Poor diet and a lack of exercise means, for the first time, children could die younger than their parents. Fiona Foster examines what is being done to tackle the problem.

8.00 Emmerdale Cameron’s blackmailer steps things up a gear.

Amy is reunited with her son Kyle.

8.30 Pat And Cabbage See highlights.

9.00 The Guilty Three-part drama set across two timelines – 2008 and the present day – which tells the story of a police detective who investigates the disappearance of a young boy while coping with her own son’s autism.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Ade In Adland First of two programmes in which Adrian Edmondson journeys through the archives, discovering how TV ads have reflected the ways Britain has changed over the past 60 years.

11.35 The Last Word Political show.

12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 The Unhealthy Generation: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The McQueens are utterly broken by events.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Location, Location, Location See highlights.

9.00 Educating Yorkshire Documentary series exploring life at a Yorkshire school, Thornhill Academy.

This episode follows new Head Teacher Mr Mitchell on his mission to improve the school’s fortunes. He’s 18 months into his first ever headship and wants to revolutionise the school’s ethos, results and reputation. But every day his vision is challenged by the trickiest of adversaries: teenagers.

10.00 Bouncers Documentary series looking at the lives of door staff.

Shaun works on the door of The Quay in the port of Blyth, a former hub of coal mining and shipbuilding. Shaun’s new to Blyth and his zero tolerance approach is taking some of the locals by surprise.

11.05 Burgled Documentary from the Cutting Edge team, taking viewers onto the frontline of the battle against Britain’s burglars.

12.10am Random Acts 12.15 Desert Hostages 1.15 Rebuilding The World Trade Center 2.25 Inside Nature’s Giants 3.25 4 Rooms 4.20 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 Countdown 5.55 SuperScrimpers

6.00 – 7.35am Chilldren’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Monkey 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction 1.15 Meerkat Manor 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Miami 3.15 Inside Hollywood 3.20 FILM: McBride: Tune In For Murder (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Meerkat Manor Wildlife documentary series.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Britain’s Strangest Pets Documentary series. In Nathan and Charlotte’s home, four camels are part of the family, and Terry has 20 big cats living in his back garden, from jaguars to Amur leopards.

8.00 The Railway: First Great Western Documentary series following the working lives of the staff of First Great Western, one of Britain’s largest train operating companies. Problems arise when 15,000 extra passengers descend on one tiny station, when the Glastonbury music festival disrupts the regular commute.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Celebrity BB house.

10.00 10 Most Annoying Things About 1999 Forget everything that you think you remember about 1999.

Actor-comedian Robert Webb stamps on those rose-tinted spectacles of yesteryear and reveals the horrors of what we were all really wearing and listening to.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Celebrity Big Brother-related news and debate.

12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Divine Designs 4.25 HouseBusters 4.50 House Doctor 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Nick’s Quest

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 What’s The Story?

10.00 European Tour Weekly 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.30pm European Tour Weekly 1.00 What’s The Story? 2.00 Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Sporting Greats 4.00 US Open Tennis 5.00 LIVE US Open Tennis 10.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 10.30 Barclays Premier League World 11.00 Ringside 12.00am Live US Open Tennis 4.00 FL72 Preview 5.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Close 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 US Open Tennis 9.00 Champions Tour Golf 10.00 Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 Fishing Gurus 12.00pm US Open Tennis 1.00 F3 Euroseries 2.00 Football Gold 2.15 Football Gold 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Fishing Gurus 3.30 Live European Tour Golf 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Ringside 7.00 FL72 Preview 8.00 Super League 10.00 TBA 11.00 FL72 Preview 12.00am LIVE NFL 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 Football Gold 5.15 Football Gold 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 7.00 What’s The Story? 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Beach Volleyball 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Sports Unlimited 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 5.00 WWE Vintage 6.00 Trans World Sport 7.00 Thinking Tackle 8.00 Rugby Club 9.30 Ringside 10.30 WWE: Late Night Raw 12.30am WWE NXT 1.30 FL72 Preview 2.30 Rugby Club 4.00 School Of Hard Knocks 5.00 Ringside

Victoria Nangle

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7.00am The Middle (x8) 11.00 Glee (x4) 3.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Modern Family (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Trollied 9.30 Chickens 10.00 Common Ground 10.30 Kick Ass Kung Fu 11.30 Road Wars (x2) 1.30am Nothing To Declare (x3)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 New: Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Shoplife 10.00 Live At The Apollo 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am American Dad! 12.30 Boom Town 1.00 New: Don’t Tell The Bride 2.00 Shoplife 3.00 Barely Legal Drivers 5.30 Close

7.00pm News 7.30 Proms On Four: Orchestras Of The World - Sinfonica Di Milano 9.40 Francesco’s Italy: Top To Toe 10.40 Ancient Greece: The Greatest Show On Earth 11.40 20th Century Battlefields 12.40am From The Sea To The Land Beyond: Britain’s Coast On Film 1.55 The Secret Life Of Waves

4.10pm Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 The Big Reunion: On Tour 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.50 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 12.40am The Big Reunion: On Tour

1.50pm Wild At Heart 2.50 Wycliffe 4.00 The Upper Hand 4.35 Second Thoughts 5.10 Home To Roost 5.45 Downton Abbey 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Cornwall With Caroline Quentin (x2) 10.00 Afterlife 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 Don’t Trust The B—— In Apartment 23 9.30 Suburgatory 10.00 The IT Crowd (x2) 11.00 iTunes Festival 2013 11.30 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.30am Happy Endings

11.15am FILM: Storm Over The Nile (1955) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Grand Designs 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Scandal 10.00 The Big C 10.35 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.15 Father Ted (x2) 12.25am Come Dine With Me 12.55 Come Dine With Me Down Under

11.00am Eccentricities Of A Blonde-haired Girl (2009) 12.20pm A Challenge For Robin Hood (1967) 2.15 Gideon Of Scotland Yard (1959) 4.05 Objective, Burma! (1945) 6.50 Grease (1978) 9.00 Love And Other Drugs (2010) 11.10 Jackie Brown (1997) 2.05am The Hole (2001) 4.00 Close

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friday 6 Celebrity MasterChef BBC1, 8.30pm Finally, it’s the final of Celebrity MasterChef and you can see that steely determination has taken up residence in the eyes of every single finalist still standing. Gone are dreams of an Oscar or hosting the Oscars, only to be replaced by hopes of the perfect soufflé. Tough job for judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace.

Secrets Of The Pickpockets Channel 4, 9pm Now that you’ve watched the earlier programme about the secrets of the pickpockets, you probably reckon you know all there is to know to become the next Artful Dodger. But you don’t.

The programme travels to Spain for even more revealing tips from both the cops and ‘tea leaves’, to help keep your valuables safe.

Doctor Who BBC3, 7pm Did you know it was Doctor Who’s 50th anniversary this year, by the way? And he just keeps looking younger. Don’t know how he does it, although we’ve a sneaky feeling he might get a bit of a re-set on that ever-youthful glitch regenerating brings about.

Peter Capaldi, we await you.

Meantime, here’s a Russian sub.

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BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.45 Plan It, Build It 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Wanted Down Under 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Dish Of The Day Cookery series. Nigel cooks some clever recipes designed to cure cravings and offer comfort. Including slow roast leg of lamb with herb rub and parmesan mash, almond and lentil stew and tumbler trifle.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders As news of the arrest reverberates around Albert Square, it appears all is not as it seems when it transpires a key witness has come forward.

8.30 Celebrity MasterChef See highlights.

9.00 Big School Comedy series.

Miss Postern warns the other teachers to be sensitive with troubled pupil Josh when his mother runs off with a Maasai tribesman.

9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Sitcom. It’s all kicking off in the Brown residence, as Rory and Dino have a bust-up.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon, Lee Mack and David Mitchell return for an episode of previously unseen material from the comedy panel show.

11.05 FILM: Fallen (1998) Starring Denzel Washington, John Goodman.

Supernatural thriller.

1.05am Weatherview 1.10 News

6.55am Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.40 Plan It, Build It 8.10 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 8.55 Formula 1: The Italian Grand Prix - Practice 1 10.35 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Formula 1: The Italian Grand Prix – Practice 2 2.35 Coast 3.00 Great British Menu 3.30 Talking Pictures 4.15 How We Built Britain 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Star Treatment 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Storage Hoarders 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Long Lost Family 5.00 The Chase

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Adam suspects Declan of setting him up.

7.30 World Cup Qualifiying Live: England V Moldova The first of two vital qualifiers for next year’s World Cup in Brazil. The big test in Ukraine lies ahead, but first on the agenda is tonight’s game against Moldova at Wembley. The two sides met last September in Chisinau when England eased to a 5-0 win. Roy Hodgson will be hoping for more goals and another three points to stay in contention at the top of group H. Adrian Chiles is joined in the studio by Roy Keane, Lee Dixon and Gareth Southgate, and commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend.

10.10 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.50 World Cup Qualifiying Highlights Adrian Chiles presents highlights of England’s World Cup qualifying match with Moldova as Roy Hodgson’s team seek the points needed to book their place in Brazil next summer. Commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend.

11.50 River Monsters Biologist and extreme angler Jeremy Wade goes on a terrifying trip to the Amazon River.

12.15am Jackpot247 3.00 Columbo: Double Exposure 4.15 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Monkey 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Meerkat Manor 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.15 FILM: Dead Lines (2011) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Meerkat Manor Documentary series following a family of meerkats living on the edge of the Kalahari Desert.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Cricket: England V Australia Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the first of the Natwest Series One Day Internationals at Headingley.

8.00 Construction Squad: Operation Homefront Ex-military personnel rescue ailing community projects across the nation. This episode sees team leader Kev going back to his roots in Preston, Lancashire. He and his team must landscape an overgrown wasteland into a therapy garden for veterans suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction Emma Willis presents exclusive highlights of all the latest events from inside the Celebrity Big Brother house, including live coverage of all the drama and excitement as a housemate is evicted. Who will be leaving?

10.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Celebrity Big Brother-related news and debate.

11.55 Inside Hollywood Get your fix of the latest film and TV news.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 HouseBusters 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Nick’s Quest

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 FL72 Preview 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.30pm Barclays Premier League World 1.00 FL72 Preview 2.00 Ringside 3.00 Super League 4.00 US Open Tennis 5.00 LIVE US Open Tennis 10.00 ODI Cricket 11.00 Fantasy Football Club 12.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 ODI Cricket 2.30 Fantasy Football Club 3.30 TBA 4.30 ODI Cricket

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Flog It! Trade Secrets The Flog It! team offers tips and advice about what to look out for by way of domestic gadgets of yesteryear.

7.00 Athletics: Diamond League – Brussels Gabby Logan introduces live coverage of the last Diamond League meeting of the season from the King Baudouin Stadium in Brussels. It is the finale to the 14-leg series which began in Doha in May and has since visited Shanghai, New York, Rome and London. With double points on offer in Belgium, many of the world’s top athletes will be present as they attempt to win the lucrative Diamond Race for their event.

9.00 Natural World Wildlife documentary.

10.00 QI Stephen Fry hosts the hilarious, mind-expanding quiz in which the aim is to be interesting.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark.

11.05 FILM: The Tempest (2011) Starring Helen Mirren, Djimon Hounsou, Felicity Jones, Alfred Molina and Russell Brand. Adaptation of Shakespeare’s play.

12.45am FILM: In Search Of A Midnight Kiss (2007) 2.20 Sign Zone: David Starkey’s Music And Monarchy

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 7.05 According To Jim 7.35 Will And Grace 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things 12.35 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 12.50 FILM: Pimpernel Smith (1941) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The Roscoes receive shocking news, while Sandy’s suspicions are piqued.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Four Rooms In this episode the four dealers – Shaun Clarkson, Tom Bolt, Wendy Meakin and Maurice Amdur – are tempted by, amongst other things, House of Commons menus, a painting of the Manchester derby, a penny farthing and a fountain pen.

9.00 Secrets Of The Pickpockets See highlights.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts the comedy chat show.

Alan is joined by Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx to discuss their new film White House Down, David Walliams talks about his new sitcom. Music is from the original incarnation of the Sugababes, who perform their debut single Flatline live.

11.05 Paul Chowdhry – What’s Happening White People?

Comedian Paul Chowdhry feels the pulse of mainstream Britain with his particular brand of observational humour.

12.10am Random Acts 12.15 The Last Leg 1.00 I’m Spazticus 1.25 New Girl 1.45 The Mindy Project 2.10 The Ricky Gervais Show 2.40 St Elsewhere 3.30 4 Rooms 4.25 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Barclays Premier League World 6.30 TBA 7.00 FL72 Preview 8.00 US Open Tennis 9.00 Football Gold 9.15 Football Gold 9.30 LIVEe ODI Cricket 7.00pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.30 LIVE International Football 10.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 Barclays Premier League World 2.00 NFL 3.00 Ringside 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 WWE: The Bottom Line 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE ITM Cup Rugby 8.00 LIVE ITM Cup Rugby 10.00 Rugby Club 11.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 12.00pm US Open Tennis 1.00 NFL 2.00 Rugby Club 3.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.55 Fantasy Football Club 6.55 LIVE International Football 7.55 LIVE International Football 10.15 TBA 11.15 NFL 12.15am Ringside 1.15 Football Gold 1.30 Sports Unlimited 2.30 Tight Lines 3.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 4.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 Tight Lines

Victoria Nangle

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7.00am The Middle (x8) 11.00 Glee (x4) 3.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Modern Family (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x4) 10.00 A League Of Their Own 11.00 Don’t Sit In The Front Row 11.30 Trollied 12.00am Chickens 12.30 Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena

7.00pm Doctor Who. See highlights. 7.45 Robin Hood 8.30 FILM: Confessions Of A Shopaholic (2009) 10.05 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Sweat The Small Stuff 1.00 Bad Education 1.30 Comedy Fest Live 2013 2.30 Boom Town

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Proms On Four: Friday Night At The Proms National Youth Orchestra Of Great Britain 9.15 The Joy Of Disco 10.15 Boogie Fever: A TOTP2 Disco Special 11.45 Queens Of Disco 12.45am Sounds Of The 70s 2: Reggae - Stir It Up 1.15 The Joy Of Disco 2.15 Boogie Fever

12.30pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 Life’s Funniest Moments 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills (x2) 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 FILM: Miss Congeniality (2000) 10.15 FILM: The Break-Up (2006) 12.30am Fake Reaction 1.15 America’s Got Talent

12.40pm Heartbeat 1.40 Wild At Heart 2.40 Wycliffe 3.55 The Upper Hand 4.25 Second Thoughts 4.55 Home To Roost 5.25 Downton Abbey 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.05am FILM: Wings Of The Dove (1997) 1.55 Cracker

4.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 FILM: Days Of Thunder (1990) 11.10 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.10am Friday Night Dinner

11.10am FILM: Rear Window (1954) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Grand Designs 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: The Happening (2008) 10.50 Embarrassing Bodies 11.55 Confessions Of A Male Stripper: First Cut 1.00am My Phone Sex Secrets

11.00am Great Expectations (1946) 1.20pm Escape To Athena (1979) 3.40 The Spoilers (1955) 5.20 Above Us The Waves (1956) 7.20 The Wedding Date (2005) 9.00 Max Payne (2008) 10.55 Shut Up And Play The Hits 1.05am Greenberg (2010) 3.15 Close

thelatest

.TV

City Of... Comedy

www.thelatest.tv

You saw him here first! Former Latest 7 columnist Romesh Ranganathan chats to Victoria Nangle before making waves at Edinburgh Festival

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029_LS644_TV_sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 29/08/2013 17:58 Page 1

saturday 7 Strictly Come Dancing BBC1, 6.50pm ‘Tis the reality show season with channels battling it out to win first priority with their audiences.

Luckily the premiere of this popular celebrity dancing show just fits nicely before X Factor starts on the other side. Join Sir Forsyth and Tess Daly as 15 stars discover which professionals they will be paired with.

FILM: Insidious Channel 4, 9pm Saw director James Wan tells this terrifying story about a family who have to save their comatose child from being trapped in another realm with some real evil spirits. A very effective horror that is sure to get you hiding your face behind the cushion or, if you’re desensitized to all things scary, laugh at those who aren’t.

Happy Endings E4, 8.30pm Hot on the heels of other ensemble comedies such as Friends and How I Met Your Mother, US sitcom Happy Endings does well to live up to its predecessors. In this episode, Jane takes everyone to a wedding trade fair to change Penny’s fiance Pete’s decision to elope on a beach.

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Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Football Focus 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 South East Today 12.10 Formula 1: The Italian Grand Prix – Qualifying 2.30 Homes Under The Hammer 3.30 Bargain Hunt 4.15 Escape To The Country 5.00 That Puppet Game Show 5.40 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00am This Is BBC Two 6.40 Formula 1: The Italian Grand Prix – Practice 1 8.20 Formula 1: The Italian Grand Prix – Practice 2 9.55 Formula 1: The Italian Grand Prix – Practice 3 11.10 The Sky At Night 11.30 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 12.15pm Caribbean Food Made Easy 12.45 Indian Food Made Easy 1.15 University Challenge 1.45 Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure 2.45 Wild China 3.45 Urban Jungle 4.15 Flog It! 5.00 Meet The Monkeys: Natural World 6.00 Dragons’ Den Vying for the dragons’ attention include a pair of Cumbrian woodsmen who attempt an unusually combative tactic in winning the dragons’ approval, while the den falls into unusual serenity when a Glasgow couple demo their yoga franchise.

7.00 Dad’s Army 7.30 Last Night Of The Proms History is in the making as conductor Marin Alsop takes charge of her first Last Night. Violinist Nigel Kennedy and mezzo-soprano Joyce DiDinato are the star soloists in a programme that includes Vaughan Williams’ Lark Ascending and arias by Massenet, Handel and Rossini.

9.05 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and the team find the comedy in the week’s news.

9.35 FILM: 360 (2011) Starring Ben Foster, Rachel Weisz, Jude Law and Anthony Hopkins. Need, greed, temptation and fascination prevail as, around the globe, assorted people find physical and emotional connections in unexpected places.

11.20 FILM: An Unfinished Life (2005) Starring Robert Redford, Jennifer Lopez and Morgan Freeman.

Fleeing her abusive boyfriend, young widow Jean seeks shelter in an unlikely place - the remote Wyoming ranch of her embittered father-in-law, Einar, who Jean’s 11-year-old daughter Griff never knew existed.

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 British Rallycross 7.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 7.30 FIM World Superbikes 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11.00 The Big Bang Theory 11.30 The Big Bang Theory 12.00pm The Simpsons 12.30 Undercover Boss Australia 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 4.10 Come Dine With Me 4.40 Come Dine With Me 5.15 Come Dine With Me 5.45 Come Dine With Me 6.15 Come Dine With Me The final host in Ipswich is Nikki Yucel, who is determined to share some love with her fellow guests.

6.45 Channel 4 News 7.05 Double Your House For Half The Money Young couple Richard and Sarah bought a picture perfect cottage in Ardens Grafton in the lovely Warwickshire countryside, which, like many rural properties, has been extended, bit-by-bit over time.

8.00 Grand Designs Gwyn and Kate were desperate for more space for their growing family and had set on building a traditional new house for themselves. But their plans changed when they fell for a decaying classic 1920s cinema in the heart of home town of Thorne in South Yorkshire.

9.00 FILM: Insidious (2010) See highlights.

11.05 FILM: Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark (2010) Starring Bailee Madison, Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce.

While architect Alex Hurst and his new girlfriend Kim restore their Gothic mansion’s period interiors, Alex’s young daughter Sally can investigate the macabre history and dark corners of the estate.

1.00am Derren Brown: The Guilt Trip Derren Brown looks at how our behaviour can be manipulated.

2.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.05 Countdown 5.50 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures

6.00 - 8.00am Children’s television 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Power Rangers: Megaforce 10.35 Slugterra 11.00 Inside Hollywood 11.05 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction 12.30pm Highland Emergency 1.00 The Hotel Inspector 2.00 FILM: Columbo: Ransom For A Dead Man (1971) 4.00 FILM: The Way West (1967) 6.20 FILM: North Sea Hijack (1980) Starring Roger Moore, James Mason, Anthony Perkins. Gripping adventure story about a group of terrorists who threaten to blow up two North Sea oil rigs by using a stolen ship as a floating bomb. A counterterrorist is hired by the British government to capture the vessel and bring the villains to justice.

8.00 5 News Weekend 8.05 NCIS US crime drama series.

A dying message from a naval officer leads the NCIS team to a manuscript that may hold a threat to national security.

9.00 NCIS US crime drama series.

Vance creates a task force to catch a serial killer who murders service personnel after they land in ports.

10.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Celebrity Big Brother house.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Psych A panel of experts and psychologists analyse the behaviour of the Celebrity Big Brother housemates. Presented by AJ Odudu.

12.00am SuperCasino Live interactive gaming 3.55 Wildlife SOS 4.20 Five VOD Make It Big 4.50 Roary The Racing Car 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.05 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Sporting Greats 7.00 Ringside 8.00 Fantasy Football Club 9.00 Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Live Football League 2.30 Ringside 3.30 US Open Tennis 5.00 LIVE US Open Tennis 12.00am Saturday Reloaded 1.00 Football Gold 1.15 Football Gold 1.30 Fight Night 5.00 Close

6.00 Pointless Celebrities Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman present a celebrity edition of the quiz.

6.50 Strictly Come Dancing See highlights.

8.10 The National Lottery: Break The Safe 9.00 BBC News 9.20 Last Night Of The Proms Live from the Royal Albert Hall. Soloists Nigel Kennedy, Britain’s charismatic violinist, and American operatic star Joyce DiDonato perform along with the combined forces of the BBC Symphony Orchestra and the BBC Symphony Chorus under the baton of American Marin Alsop, the first female conductor of the Last Night.

10.55 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow In this episode, the roadshow is at Birmingham’s Hippodrome, as Michael introduces Tom Stade, Steve Hughes and Paul Tonkinson, with Shappi Khorsandi headlining.

11.25 FILM: The Recruit (2003) Starring Al Pacino, Colin Farrell and Bridget Moynahan. A highlypromising CIA trainee catches the eye of an agency veteran, who begins to act as his mentor. However, life gets more complicated when he falls for a fellow recruit and is given a special assignment to uncover a mole.

1.15am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 1.20 BBC News

6.00am Babar And The Adventures Of Badou 6.10 Matt Hatter Chronicles 6.35 Dino Dan 6.50 Dino Dan 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Canimals 7.15 Canimals 7.25 Sooty 7.35 Fish Hooks 7.50 Horrid Henry 8.00 Bottom Knocker Street 8.15 Bottom Knocker Street 8.30 Dinner Date 9.25 Saturday Cookbook 10.20 Murder, She Wrote 11.20 Saturday Farm 12.20pm ITV News & Weather 12.25 The Dales 12.55 Midsomer Murders 2.50 FILM: Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) 4.30 The X Factor 5.30 ITV News Meridian 5.45 ITV News & Weather 6.00 New You’ve Been Framed!

6.30 Stepping Out This week the couples take on dance styles including Bhangra, line-dancing and the rumba. They include Westlife’s Brian McFadden and his wife Vogue Williams, interior designer Laurence Llewelyn Bowen and his wife Jackie, JLS’s Oritse and girlfriend AJ Azari, WBA super middleweight champion Carl Froch and girlfriend.

8.00 The X Factor The show has made a return to closed room auditions, with successful auditionees at this stage going on to perform in front of a 4,000-strong audience at Wembley Arena.

9.00 Through The Keyhole Celebrity Juice star Keith Lemon presents a brand new version of the classic game show.

10.00 ITV News, Weather 10.15 FILM: Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) Starring Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, John Alexander, James Dodd and Luke Goss. The big red demon with the stone hand returns with his buddies from the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense to save the world when an evil elf breaks an ancient pact and unleashes a robot army to destroy humanity.

12.25am Jackpot247 Join the presenters live and play roulette 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 3.45 ITV Nightscreen

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Ringside 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.00 LIVE Rugby Championship 11.00 LIVE Rugby Championship 1.30pm TBA 1.55 LIVE Currie Cup Rugby 4.00 Sporting Greats 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Football League 5.30 LIVE Super League 8.00 LIVE Fight Night 11.30 Football League 12.00am YB40 Cricket 1.00 Super League 2.00 Football League 2.30 YB40 Cricket 3.30 Super League 4.30 Trans World Sport 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

Sky Sports 3 6.00am London Triathlon 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 US Open Tennis 9.30 WWE: Smackdown 11.30 WWE: The Bottom Line 12.30pm LIVE YB40 Cricket 6.30 WWE: Smackdown 8.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 9.00 TBA 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.00am Ladies European Tour Golf 12.30 Rugby Championship 1.30 Rugby Championship 2.30 Golf Walker Cup 4.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 5.00 Sporting Greats 5.30 Sporting Greats

Holly Cozens

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10.00am Soccer AM 12.00pm WWE: Superstars 1.00 Spy (x3) 2.30 Harrow: A Very British School 3.30 Futurama (x5) 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 A League Of Their Own 9.00 A Touch Of Cloth II: Undercover Cloth 10.00 Cop Squad 11.00 Road Wars (x2) 1.00am Armed & Dangerous: Ultimate Forces

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Robin Hood 8.30 World’s Craziest Fools 9.00 FILM: Road Trip (2000) 10.30 Family Guy 10.55 Family Guy 11.20 American Dad! (x2) 12.05am Comedy Fest Live 2013 (x2) 2.00 Boom Town 2.30 New: Bad Education 3.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 3.30 World’s Craziest Fools

7.00pm Mud, Sweat And Tractors 8.00 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Earthquakes 9.00 The Young Montalbano 11.00 Mr Blue Sky: The Story Of Jeff Lynne And ELO 12.00am Rock Family Trees 12.50 Jeff Lynne Acoustic: Live From Bungalow Palace 1.20 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Earthquakes

11.10am Girlfriends 12.10pm Example: The Hot Desk 12.20 The X Factor 1.25 The Xtra Factor 2.25 You’ve Been Framed! (x4) 4.35 FILM: Small Soldiers (1998) 6.45 FILM: Twister (1996) 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.45 The X Factor 11.50 The Xtra Factor 12.50am Fake Reaction (x2) 2.10 The Cube

6.00am Drama Trails 6.10 Barbara 6.35 FILM: Housesitter (1992) 8.40 The Royal 9.40 The Royal 10.45 The Railway Children 12.50pm FILM: Vanity Fair (2004) 3.35 Wycliffe 4.45 Inspector Morse 6.55 Foyle’s War 9.00 Midsomer Murders 11.00 Wire In The Blood 12.35am Cracker 1.40 Barbara

1.10pm Charmed 2.05 90210 3.05 Rules Of Engagement (x5) 5.30 The Mindy Project 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Suburgatory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 Happy Endings see highlights 9.00 FILM: Lake Placid (1999) 10.40 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.40 The Inbetweeners

1.10pm FILM: The Lady Vanishes (1979) 3.15 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 3.35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (x3) 6.55 Britain’s Tsunami: Time Team Special 8.00 The 9/11 Hotel 9.05 The Man Who Predicted 9/11 10.15 9/11: The Miracle Survivor 11.20 The 9/11 Hotel 12.30am The Man Who Predicted 9/11

11.00am Baby’s Day Out (1994) 1.00pm Brewster’s Millions (1985) 3.00 Aliens In The Attic (2009) 4.40 The Searchers (1956) 7.00 The Wedding Planner (2001) 9.00 Mission: Impossible III (2006) 11.25 The Hills Have Eyes II (2007) 1.05am Assault On Precinct 13 (2005) 3.15 Neds Special 3.25 Close

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sunday 8 The Rise of Hitler Channel 4, 8pm First in a two-part documentary chronicling Adolf Hitler’s rise to power. Remember when Hitler was a dejected artist supported by his mother? No, probably not.

This instalment focuses on his early years trying to get into fine arts and how Germany’s defeat in World War I lead to his leap into politics.

Celebrity Big Brother Channel Five, 9pm Well the celebs should be well and truly in the swing of the house environment and the relatively naughty tricks it likes to play on the unsuspecting personalities.

What will happen this week. Will someone have a tantrum? For sure. Will they try and out-celeb each other? Most probably.

FILM: The Devil Wears Prada E4, 7.45pm Fashion impaired journalist Andy Sacks falls into a job at the very prestigious Runway magazine in an effort to boost her portfolio and becomes the personal assistant to an incredibly demanding editor, played by Meryl Streep. Anne Hathaway also stars.

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6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Morning Live 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Formula 1: The Italian Grand Prix 3.15 Victoria Wood’s Nice Cup Of Tea 4.15 Escape To The Country 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 Britain’s Big Wildlife Revival

6.35 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile Ellie Harrison and Matt Baker head for Staithes on the north Yorkshire coast.

8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the experts pay a second visit to East Sussex as they welcome thousands of visitors to Eastbourne Bandstand.

9.00 What Remains Len begins to uncover the hidden truths behind the fragile lies of the residents of Number 8. Each one is reluctant to acknowledge Melissa, and is hiding secrets from the outside world.

10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Room 101 – Extra Storage With guests Craig Revel Horwood, Sheila Hancock and Jon Richardson.

11.05 That Puppet Game Show Game show run by puppets, containing a unique mix of onstage challenges and behind the scenes sketches.

11.45 FILM: Fame (1980) Starring Irene Cara, Lee Curreri, Paul McCrane, Barry Miller, Antonia Franceschi, Maureen Teefy and Albert Hague. Exuberant musical drama about life at New York’s High School for the Performing Arts, where a chosen few battle to get to the top of their desired professions.

1.55am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast.

2.00 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am FILM: Desert Passage (1952) 7.00 FILM: They Live By Night (1949) 8.30 Around The World In 80 Gardens 9.30 Beechgrove Garden 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 The Incredible Spice Men 12.00pm What To Eat Now: Autumn 12.30 EastEnders 2.25 Coast 2.45 Sailing: America’s Cup 3.30 Burghley Horse Trials 5.30 Flog It!

6.30 Iolo’s Great Welsh Parks In this edition, Iolo explores an old slate mining family’s estate in the Snowdonia National Park.

7.00 The Great British Bake Off This is the first week we see the bakers having to multi-task across several different baking skills at the same time including a signature trifle combining biscuit, cake, jelly or custard in perfectly distinct layers.

8.00 Dragons’ Den One Dragon gets behind a saxophone when she joins in on a musical pitch and a feisty Hull-based entrepreneur faces the Dragons armed with her all-pink carcare range.

9.00 The Story Of The Jews Simon Schama’s series continues with the story of medieval Jews struggling to preserve their identity – and sometimes their lives –under the rule of Christianity and Islam.

10.00 QI XL 10.45 Blackadder The Third Classic historical comedy series.

11.15 FILM: Shifty (2008) Starring Riz Ahmed, Daniel Mays, Jason Flemyng and Francesca Annis. A drug dealer is visited by a friend just as he is coping with a ruthless rival, their suspicious supplier, desperate addict and opposition from his brother.

12.40am Sign Zone: Countryfile Ellie Harrison and Matt Baker head for South Wales’ Gower Peninsula.

1.35 Sign Zone: Holby City

ITV1

6.00am Babar And The Adventures Of Badou 6.10 Matt Hatter Chronicles 6.35 Dino Dan 6.50 Dino Dan 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Canimals 7.15 Canimals 7.25 Sooty 7.35 Fish Hooks 7.50 Horrid Henry 8.00 Bottom Knocker Street 8.15 Bottom Knocker Street 8.30 Country House Sunday 9.25 Ade In Britain 10.20 Murder, She Wrote 11.20 ITV News & Weather 11.35 Columbo: Murder, A Self-Portrait 1.35pm Dinner Date 2.35 The X Factor 3.40 Big Star’s Little Star 4.45 FILM: Land Of The Lost (2009) 6.30 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News, Weather 7.00 Coronation Street The police question Karl over Craig’s disappearance. Hayley decides to grab life by the horns.

8.00 The X Factor UK’s biggest singing competition as judges Gary Barlow, Louis Walsh, Nicole Scherzinger and Sharon Osbourne go in search of more talent.

9.00 Vera DCI Vera Stanhope investigates the troubled past of extreme sports fanatic Gideon Frane, who plunges from a Northumberland cliff in a ball of flame. With the help of new recruits DC Rebecca Shepherd and DC Mark Edwards, Vera and her team - Sergeant Joe Ashworth and DC Kenny Lockhart - track down Gideon’s gang and uncover a history of bullying and an unexpected tale of tested loyalties and rough justice.

11.00 ITV News, Weather 11.15 The Unforgettable Leslie Crowther A tribute to Leslie Crowther - best known as the presenter of hit shows Crackerjack and The Price Is Right and a household name for most of his life.

11.45 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership Action from the eagerly anticipated opening round of the Aviva Premiership. 12.40am The Store 2.40 Motorsport UK 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Ironman 2013 7.05 American Football: Hard Knocks 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm The Big Bang Theory 12.55 The Big Bang Theory 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 The Simpsons 2.25 FILM: Bugsy Malone (1976) 4.15 Location, Location, Location 5.20 FILM: Stardust (2007)

7.40 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 The Rise Of Hitler See highlights.

9.00 FILM: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) Starring Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Toby Jones, Mark Strong, Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch, John Hurt, Ciaran Hinds, Kathy Burke, Stephen Graham, Arthur Nightingale and Zoltan Mucsi. Thriller, adapted from the John le Carre novel. During the 1970s, the head of British intelligence is asked to resign as he believes that one of four senior figures within the organisation is a mole. A spy who was forced into retirement after a colleague was shot during a mission in Hungary is asked to expose a double agent within the top of MI6.

11.30 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan is joined by Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx to discuss their new film White House Down, David Walliams talks about his new sitcom.

Music is from the original incarnation of the Sugababes.

12.30am 8 Out Of 10 Cats The best bits from the comedy show in which presenter Jimmy Carr and team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by celebrity panellists.

1.15 American Football Live 4.45 Ironman 2013 5.15 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 - 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 Milkshake! Show Songs 9.15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.45 Jelly Jamm 10.00 The Mr Men Show 10.15 Power Rangers: Samurai 10.50 Slugterra 11.10 Monkey Life 11.40 Celebrity Big Brother 12.40pm Celebrity BB BOTS: Rylan’s Supersized Sunday 1.40 FILM: Sabrina, The Teenage Witch (1995) 3.25 FILM: Disney’s Pocahontas (1995) 5.00 FILM: White Fang (1991) 7.00 Cricket: England v Australia Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the day’s play in the second Natwest One Day International at Old Trafford.

8.00 Once Upon A Time As Greg and Tamara detonate the black diamond that will cause Storybrooke to self-destruct, Hook and Regina join forces with Emma, David and Mary Margaret to try to avoid a catastrophe.

8.55 5 News Weekend 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother See highlights.

10.00 FILM: Mr & Mrs Smith (2005) Starring Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Vince Vaughn, Adam Brody, Greg Ellis, Keith David, Kerry Washington, Rachael Huntley and Chris Weitz.

A suburban couple’s marriage is thrown into confusion when they discover they are both trained assassins working for rival agencies.

12.20am FILM: An American Haunting (2006) Horror thriller based on the legend of the Bell Witch, a poltergeist that tormented a family in 19th-century Tennessee. In the present day, a mother learns that her daughter has been experiencing strange nightmares.

1.55 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming 3.55 Wildlife SOS 4.20 Make It Big 4.50 Roary The Racing Car 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.05 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Football Gold 6.15 Football Gold 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 Football League 7.30 Game Changers 8.30 Sunday Supplement 9.30 LIVE ODI Cricket 7.00pm Ashes Memories – Brilliant Bichel 7.30 US Open Tennis 9.30 LIVE US Open Tennis 12.00am ODI Cricket 1.00 Football Gold 1.15 Football Gold 1.30 Sunday Supplement 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Barclays Premier League World 4.00 ODI Cricket 5.00 Sporting Greats: Sir Donald Bradman 5.30 Sporting Greats

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Rugby Championship 7.00 Rugby Championship 8.00 US Open Tennis 10.00 Goals On Sunday 11.30 Football Gold 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf 4.00 Sporting Heroes 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Live NFL 9.00 LIVE NFL 12.30am TBA 1.30 British Motocross Championship 2.30 DTM Motor Racing 3.30 Max Power 4.30 British Motocross Championship 5.30 Football Gold 5.45 Football Gold

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 This Week In WWE 7.30 WWE Vintage 8.30 WWE Afterburn 9.30 Brussels Cycling Classic 10.00 Rugby Championship 11.00 Rugby Championship 12.00pm US Open Tennis 2.00 This Week In WWE 2.30 WWE: Experience 3.30 US Open Tennis 5.30 LIVE US Open Tennis 7.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 8.00 ODI Cricket 9.00 TBA 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.00am Ladies European Tour Golf 12.30 London Triathlon 1.30 TBA 3.30 European Tour Golf 4.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 5.00 Sporting Greats 5.30 Sporting Greats

Holly Cozens

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm Spy (x3) 1.30 One Direction: One Day 2.00 Futurama (x4) 4.00 Modern Family (x4) 6.00 One Direction: One Day 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Moone Boy 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Harrow: A Very British School 9.00 A Touch Of Cloth 10.00 Chickens 10.30 Trollied 11.00 The Cafe 12.00am Road Wars (x3)

7.00pm Formula 1: The Italian Grand Prix – Highlights 8.10 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 8.20 FILM: Ratatouille (2007) 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Bad Education 11.15 American Dad! (x2) 12.00am Thailand’s Drug Craze: Stacey Dooley Investigates 1.00 Some Girls (x2) 2.00 Boom Town

7.00pm Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture 8.00 Ford’s Dagenham Dream 9.00 Requiem For Detroit? 10.15 FILM: Silent Souls (2010) 11.30 The Joy Of Disco 12.30am Boogie Fever: A TOTP2 Disco Special 2.00 Queens Of Disco 3.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture

9.05am Coronation Street Omnibus 11.50 America’s Got Talent (x2) 2.50pm FILM: Babe: Pig In The City (1998) 4.40 The X Factor 5.45 The Xtra Factor 6.50 FILM: Dragonheart (1996) 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 The Big Reunion: On Tour 11.00 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 12.55am The X Factor

6.00am Barbara (x2) 6.55 Murder, She Wrote (x3) 9.55 Heartbeat (x2) 11.50 FILM: Northanger Abbey (2007) 1.50pm FILM: The Nun’s Story (1959) 4.55 Foyle’s War 7.00 Lewis 9.00 FILM: Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001) 11.40 FILM: Bloody Sunday (2002) 1.45am Murder, She Wrote 2.35 Barbara

1.30pm Charmed 2.25 90210 3.25 How I Met Your Mother (x4) 5.20 The Mindy Project 5.50 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 7.15 New Girl 7.45 FILM: The Devil Wears Prada (2006) see highlights 10.00 Rude Tube 11.00 The Inbetweeners 11.35 Don’t Trust The B— — In Apartment 23

12.05pm Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (x5) 2.40 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.20 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 9/11: The Miracle Of Stairway B 9.05 9/11: Ground Zero Underworld 10.15 9/11 The Firemen’s Story 11.20 9/11: The Miracle Of Stairway B 12.30am 9/11: Ground Zero Underworld

11.00am Picture Perfect (1997) 1.00pm St Trinian’s 2: The Legend Of Fritton’s Gold (2009) 3.05 James And The Giant Peach (1996) 4.40 The Jewel Of The Nile (1985) 6.45 Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992) 9.00 The Bank Job (2008) 11.10 Terminal Velocity (1994) 1.10am Brick Lane (2007) 3.15 Neds Special

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Latest TV always knew James Acaster was one to watch! Catch the comedian prior to his successful stint at Edinburgh Festival 2013

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031_LS644_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 30/08/2013 12:26 Page 1

monday 09 Jamie’s Money Saving Meals Channel 4, 8pm Chef Jamie Oliver continues to inform us on the best ways to make the most of the food in our cupboards and how to cook on a budget. This week Jamie shows us his buns (easy ladies, he ain’t the naked chef anymore), dim sum buns made with pork leftovers. Don’t miss out on Jamie’s meatloaf either.

Blackout Channel 4, 9pm This feature-length drama examines what could possibly happen in the event of a cyber attack on Britain’s national electricity grid. Using expert advice and careful research, this programme focuses on how devastating an incident like this could be for hospitals, transport and emergency services.

Don’t Blame Facebook E4, 10pm Second in an 11-part series about various consequences of using social media. This documentary explores different stories from people who have discovered the perils of sites such as Facebook and Twitter when it has been too late, from when trolling goes too far to private photos ending up where they shouldn’t.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Street Patrol UK 11.45 Plan It, Build It 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Perfection 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Wanted Down Under 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out 8.00 EastEnders Ronnie is released from prison, but will anyone be at the prison gates to meet her? Alfie explodes into a fit of rage when he finds out what Roxy has planned for Ronnie.

8.30 Locked Up And Ill – Panorama There is a crisis in police cells across the country, and it is not to do with crime, according to senior officers. The police say they regularly have to detain mental health patients who should be dealt with by psychiatric professionals. The problem is so bad that police estimate it takes twenty five per cent of their time.

9.00 Motorway Cops 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Child Of Our Time Special edition of the documentary series following the lives of 20 children born at the beginning of the new millennium, featuring additional footage.

11.35 Live At The Apollo Micky Flanagan introduces one of comedy’s rising stars, Seann Walsh; and Irish favourite Jason Byrne.

12.20am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast.

12.25 BBC News

6.00am This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 7.50 Plan It, Build It 8.20 The A To Z Of TV Cooking 9.05 Restoration Home 10.05 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Classic Mastermind 1.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 2.15 Coast 2.20 Great British Menu 2.50 Animal Park 3.35 Talking Pictures 4.15 How We Built Britain 5.15 Cash In The Attic 6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 7.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British The bikers explore the history behind the boom in pub food and snacks.

8.00 University Challenge 8.30 The Incredible Spice Men At the stately home of Melford Hall, they transform cucumber sandwiches and a Victoria sponge by adding salt and chilli to the sandwiches and a fennel and orange butter cream to a Victoria sponge.

9.00 Robert Peston Goes Shopping This episode tells the remarkable story of the 1990s and 2000s, when the goods we bought got cheaper, fashion got faster, and supermarkets got smarter.

10.00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme Sarah meets naturalist Chris Packham from Springwatch and sexpert Tracey Cox. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Story Of The Jews Simon Schama’s series continues with the story of medieval Jews.

12.20am Sign Zone: The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip Dave Myers and Si King get their hands dirty visiting and taking part in projects to restore Britain’s industrial past.

4.00 The Code.

4.30 Megabits 5.00 After Life: Rot Box Detectives 5.55 Wonders Of Nature

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Storage Hoarders 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 7.15 According To Jim 7.40 Will And Grace 8.00 Frasier 8.35 Frasier 9.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.05 The Big Bang Theory 10.35 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Undercover Boss USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things 12.40 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 12.55 FILM: Father Goose (1964) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks As Sinead faces court, Freddie tries to ensure that she remains silent. Sandy’s suspicions are piqued.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Jamie’s Money Saving Meals See highlights 8.30 Gadget Man Richard tests out some of the more innovative devices designed to help people get out of bed with DJ Sara Cox. Gadgets include a new machine for ironing clothes, a magic mirror, the most energy-efficient car in the world and a ‘Get Ready Machine’.

9.00 Blackout See highlights 10.40 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell Gordon checks in to the River Rock Inn in Milford, Pennsylvania, where owner Ken Pisciotta is in over his head in debt.

11.35 Educating Yorkshire This episode follows new Head Teacher Mr Mitchell on his mission to improve the school’s fortunes. He’s 18 months into his first ever headship and wants to revolutionise the school’s ethos, results and reputation. But every day his vision is challenged by the trickiest of adversaries: teenagers.

12.35am Random Acts 12.40 Top Boy 1.40 Run 2.30 Misfits 3.25 Nashville 4.10 FILM: Operation Amsterdam (1959)

6.00 - 8.00am Children’s television 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.35 Toby’s Travelling Circus 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Builders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.05 Rosamunde Pilcher’s Shades Of Love 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away When the ambulance fails to arrive, Dex is forced to drive to the hospital.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Hustling America Alexis Conran travels across America in the footsteps of history’s greatest hustlers. He hopes to pull off the hardest cons of all, known as proposition bets – outlandish wagers that are almost impossible to win unless you know the cunning secret behind them.

8.00 Police Interceptors A drunken driver is in the fast lane of the M6, dog handler Glenn is given a crash course in marine rescue when he answers an emergency distress call.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlighting the latest events inside the Celebrity Big Brother house.

10.00 Under The Dome A potentially deadly outbreak of meningitis hits Chester’s Mill. Is the dome making people ill and what has happened to all the antibiotics?

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Celebrity Big Brother-related news and debate.

12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Catherine and the rest of the team attempt to reach out to Grissom in the wake of Sara’s departure.

12.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 1.15 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming 3.55 Divine Designs

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 ODI Cricket 10.00 US Open Tennis 11.00 NFL 12.00pm NFL 1.00 US Open Tennis 2.00 ODI Cricket 3.00 Fantasy Football Club 3.30 Game Changers 4.30 US Open Tennis 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 FL72 Review 7.30 LIVE Football League 9.45 LIVE US Open Tennis 1.30am FL72 Review 2.30 The Footballers’ Football Show 3.30 Football League 4.30 FL72 Review 5.30 Fantasy Football Club

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News, Weather 7.00 Emmerdale With Adam on the run, Moira is left to worry over her son’s fate. Steve takes his chances and makes a move on Nicola.

7.30 Coronation Street Karl begins to unravel. Sally’s love life causes a stir in the factory.

8.00 Countrywise Liz Bonnin investigates the problems of erosion on Dorset and Devon’s stunning Jurassic Coast.

8.30 Coronation Street Jason and Dev back Karl into a corner.

Exhausted Hayley is welcomed home.

9.00 Doc Martin Martin and Louisa invite the chairman of her school’s board of governors for dinner, but the evening ends in disaster. After taking offence at Martin’s diagnosis of her skin problem, the nanny walks out.

10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 Benidorm A romantic stroll on the beach is rudely interrupted as the most memorable day of Mel and Madge’s lives soon becomes exactly that – but not in the way they would have liked.

11.05 Through The Keyhole Celebrity Juice star Keith Lemon presents a brand new version of the classic game show.

12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Football Gold 6.15 Football Gold 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 US Open Tennis 9.00 Fight Night 12.30pm Sporting Greats 1.00 Rugby Championship 2.00 Rugby Championship 3.00 Sporting Greats: Sir Donald Bradman 3.30 Sporting Greats 4.00 LIVE YB40 Cricket 10.00 The Footballers’ Football Show 11.00 FL72 Review 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League 2.00 Elite League Speedway 4.00 Super League Full Time 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football League 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 ODI Cricket 8.00 NFL 9.00 NFL 10.00 Football League 10.30 Football Gold 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Super League 12.30pm Super League 1.30 NFL 2.30 NFL 3.30 WWE: Raw 5.30 America’s Cup 6.30 US Open Tennis 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 Road To Kona Ironman 10.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 TBA 4.30 YB40 Cricket 5.30 Thrillseekers

Holly Cozens

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

9.00am Futurama (x2) 10.00 NCIS: LA (x4) 2.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Modern Family (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 A League Of Their Own 9.00 Kick Ass Kung Fu 10.00 Arrow (x2) 12.00am Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena 1.15 Nothing To Declare (x2) 2.15 NCIS: LA

7.00pm New: Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.30 Would I Lie To You? 9.00 The Insider 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! 12.10am The Insider 1.10 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.40 Great Movie Mistakes III 1.55 Don’t Tell The Bride

7.00pm News 7.30 Nature’s Microworlds 8.00 City Beneath The Waves: Pavlopetri 9.00 Lost Kingdoms Of South America 10.00 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Earthquakes 11.00 Tribe 12.00am City Beneath The Waves 1.00 Nature’s Microworlds 1.30 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Earthquakes

12.30pm Emmerdale 1.00 Coronation Street 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Vancouver 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 Dinner Date 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 The X Factor 9.00 FILM: Knocked Up (2007) 11.40 Girlfriends 12.40am Fake Reaction 1.20 The Cube

1.35pm Wild At Heart 2.35 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 3.50 The Upper Hand 4.20 Second Thoughts 4.55 Downton Abbey 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Mr Selfridge 9.00 Countrywise: The Real Downton Abbey 10.00 DCI Banks 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.05am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 New Girl 8.30 The Mindy Project 9.00 90210 10.00 Don’t Blame Facebook 11.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut 11.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.50am Don’t Trust The B—— In Apartment 23

11.25am FILM: Jesse James (1939) 1.30pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Grand Designs 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 10.00 24 Hours In A&E 11.05 One Born Every Minute 12.10am One Born Every Minute USA 1.15 Come Dine With Me

11.00am Rooster Cogburn (1975) 1.10pm First Men In The Moon (1964) 3.10 Seventh Cavalry (1956) 4.45 That Riviera Touch (1966) 6.40 K-Pax (2001) 9.00 Transformers (2007) 11.45 Notorious (2009) 2.10am Final Destination 3 (2006) 4.00 Close

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See Edinburgh Festival comedy award nominees, including Nick Helm, all in one place: www.thelatest.tv Where else?

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