Latest 7: No. 637

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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk The Hive Itziar Leighton from City College, talks about plans to build a Studio School in Brighton

★ jobs ★ food ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 16 – 22 July 2013

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Love & War The acclaimed stage adaptation of Sebastian Faulks’ best seller Birdsong comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton page 13

THE WORLD’S END Simon Pegg on the last instalment in the Cornetto trilogy WIN! Tickets to see 9 To 5: The Musical plus signed Dolly Parton CDs

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2013 thelatest.co.uk

@latestbrighton

16–22 JULY 2013

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CONTENTS NEWS & COMMENT

Online now: Celebrity interviews, great giveaways & reviews of recent shows Attention unsigned bands! Submit your track to be included in the Brighton Download Chart. Visit our website to find out how!

05 Latest People Trevor Sorbie’s fundraiser for Rockinghorse & more 06 Latest Brighton & Hove News State of the City Debate: transport & rubbish 08 Bare Cheek Fake festivals; What We used To Say; What’s In 09 Celeb City Steve Coogan, Kim Sears and Mark Woolley 10 Andrew Kay Terry Pratchett to visit Brighton for City Reads 2013 10 Competitions Win 9 To 5: The Musical tickets and signed CDs 11 Brighton Writes Vanessa asks Katie Hopkins, “What’s in a name?’; Lynn Ruth blows the final whistle on whistling

All the latest homes are on latesthomes.co.uk With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website

The Hive City College Brighton and Hove principal Lynn Thackway wants to open the first studio school in the area. And she has been sharing her plans for the new school with people from the worlds of business, education and politics locally and beyond. The school, to be known as The Hive, will cater for up to 300 students from 14 to 19 years old and specialise in creative and digital media.

On our show, Itziar Leighton, of City College Brighton, talks to Frank le Duc about the plans.

For details of advertising opportunities with latesthomes.co.uk please contact the advertising team on 01273 818150 lhsales@thelatest.co.uk

latesthomes.co.uk/brighton

LIFESTYLE 12 Interview Simon Pegg and Nick Frost talk The World’s End 13 On the cover: Theatre Royal Brighton Birdsong is brought to life on stage 14 Hotlist Places to dine this week 17 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink In Lyon for the International Chef Exchange

WHAT’S ON

@LatestTVBtn

16 Reviews & Bookings; Latest Download Chart Love Supreme Festival reviewed; Texas tour 18 What’s On King Lear, LGBT Film Festival, Mumford & Sons 20 Brighton After Dark The world’s first robotic band; Sade’s promotion 22 TV listings Stars; Do No Harm; seven-day TV listings

GIG

IN BRIGHTON

IN BRIGHTON

Andrew Duhon Andrew Duhon is a New Orleans native, raised in the country’s most unique and mysterious city.

Wednesday 17 July, 8.30pm, £6/5 adv Latest Group Managing Director Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless Creative Director Andrew Kay

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Art Director Stephen King Latest Homes Advertising Manager Lesley Lawrence Latest 7 Advertising Manager Rachel Simm

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PARTY

Latest 7/Homes Editor Zara Baker Entertainment & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff writers Sade Ali Vanessa Austin Locke Mark Brailsford Jo Brooks

Club Criminal Featuring the best of rock and indie goodness across two floors!

Thursday 18 July, 9pm, £3/£2 Nus Holly Cozens Ben Darling Andy Hinton Brian Mitchell Joseph Nixon Lynn Ruth Miller Henry Smith Christina Toimela Reviews Co-ordinator Joe Fuller Design Jason Weaver

Latest News Frank le Duc Jenni Davidson Jay Legate (Sport)

Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Latest TV Val Aviv David Cuff Andy Nicholls

William Ranieri Yuki Stephenson Christina Toimela

Latest MusicBar Ruth Ratner James Charter Stella Pitt Ali Cluney-Hickford Steve Parfrement

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: sales@thelatest.co.uk

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

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latestPEOPLE

LATEST PEOPLE 05

Brighton Music Awards, Whoopsadaisy’s new home & Trevor Sorbie’s fundraiser for Rockinghorse Whoopsadaisy bowled over by its new home

Brighton Music Awards 2013 When music and creativity is the life force of a city it would be criminal to turn a blind eye to such talent. So, in true rock ‘n’ roll style we had the BMAs. The Brighton Music Awards took place on Friday 28 June at The Latest Musicbar. All the nominees and winners were voted for by fans and they had the chance to see their favourite artists play up close and personal. Six local bands played throughout the evening with Black Bonds kicking off the after show. As if that wasn’t enough, local artist Cassette Lord made all the awards providing a bespoke piece of art for each category winner. Roll on next year! www.brightonmusicawards.com Photos: Patrick Kneath

Tom Stanford

Whoopsadaisy, the Conductive Education charity which helps children with physical disabilities such as cerebral palsy live more independent lives, held a party to celebrate moving into its new home in the former Ladies Bowls Pavilion, Preston Park, Brighton.

Whoopsadaisy has relocated to

larger premises so that it can respond to the increasing demand for its services. More places will be made available in the under-fives’ groups during the week, for 5-12 year olds on Saturdays and there will be space for eight children a day at Whoopsadaisy Holiday Clubs.

To find out more about Whoopsadaisy and how you can get involved, please email Caroline Matanle: caroline@whoopsadaisy.org www.whoopsadaisy.org

Rachel Simm (Latest 7/BMAs), David Elphick (Bmusic/BMA

Kenelis Ralph Brown (actor), Abigail Williams, Simon Price (The Independent)

Eddie String (Bmusic) & Fragile Creatures Rachel Simm (Latest 7/BMAs), Hanna Neter (Juice FM)

Trevor Sorbie The Trevor Sorbie client summer party (3 July) was an extremely glamorous affair with the Nile Street salon filled with guests including Trevor himself, his lovely wife Carole and Salon Director and co-owner Kate Wilson.

Salon stylists Anna, Fergal and Morgan presented a brilliant hair master class demonstrating several catwalk looks utilising their experiences from the shows at London and Paris Fashion Week. A

team of lovely ladies from Clarins were on hand to pamper and beautify guests and a hamper of beauty products including the newly launched Trevor Sorbie Salon Approved range was raffled for Rockinghorse.

Amanda Johnson showed a beautiful range of Pierre Lang jewellery, while everyone enjoyed Pimm’s cocktails and sushi from Moshimo. Guests left with amazing goodie bags filled with Trevor Sorbie products and lovely Clarins treats. The perfect evening! www.trevorsorbie.com

Trevor Sorbie and Ryan Heal (Rockinghorse Chief Executive)

Kate Wilson (salon director) & Trevor Sorbie

Kovac Jacko Hooper & Cassette Lord art piece

Hanna Neter (Juice FM), David Courtney (BMA founder), Ralph Brown (actor), Pauline Carroll (NME Awards)

Saffron (Republica)

The Dead Reds & Cathy Sear (Bmusic)

Trevor Sorbie model with Anna Chapman, Morgan Rhodes (both Trevor Sorbie styling team)

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06 LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news

Steering us on a greener path Some of the big transport & environmental issues facing Brighton & Hove were addressed at one marathon meeting.

Frank le Duc reports

B

us and cycle lanes, parking, communal bins, pollution and dog fouling were among a dozen substantial items debated at a long meeting on a hot afternoon at Hove Town Hall last week. It was the first meeting of a new committee of councillors – a merger of two committees which was aimed in part at saving taxpayers’ money.

The Environment, Transport and Sustainability Committee is responsible for some of the most sensitive subjects handled by local politicians.

Like almost all Brighton and Hove City Council committees, the meeting opened with the chance for voters to have their say. The item is headed “Public involvement” and covers petitions, written questions and deputations. This part of the meeting is often one of the most interesting.

Those addressing the assembled councillors are sometimes less well versed in the etiquette of committee meetings than the elected members and officials. Frustrations are voiced forcefully by a few. And it can on occasion be like listening to the child in the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale, The Emperor’s New Clothes.

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ast year, the number of casualties on UK roads dropped to its lowest since records began, but deaths and injuries among cyclists rose sharply.

However the data for Brighton and Hove shows a welcome improvement in road safety. Overall we’ve seen a 12 per cent reduction in the number of road collisions and casualties since 2010. And while the number of cyclists has increased, the number of casualties has stayed stable.

Cycling has really taken off in the city in recent years. The 2011 census

data showed that cycling to work in Brighton and Hove more than doubled over the previous decade. While the increase is good news, measures to improve safety on our streets are crucial.

Introducing slower traffic speeds, as we’ve done in residential areas in the city centre, is a simple way of saving lives and making our streets better. Not only do drivers have more time to react to events on the road, but a pedestrian is six times more likely to survive being hit by a car at 20mph than at 30mph.

Major schemes to improve key routes and junctions will help to make our streets safer for all residents. For example changes

BIG ISSUE become increasingly important for councillors and officials to look at ways to encourage more people to go to and from the hospital by bus.

The £420 million revamp of the Royal Sussex site will create more parking spaces. But the revamp is expected to take until the end of the decade. Public transport is a vital part of the mix and not just while building work is taking place.

“Communal recycling bins will take up 272 parking bays which will upset some people”

RETHINK REQUESTED One of the deputations came from people living in Carlton Hill, the street immediately to the north of Edward Street. The other came from

people in St James’s Street, the road immediately to the south. Both wanted a rethink. Carlton Hill residents fear that their street will become even more of a rat run. The presence of a primary school heightens their concerns about safety.

separating traffic and improving pedestrian crossings on the Old Shoreham Road, and the current work on the Lewes Road, will improve the safety for road users.

And the Seven Dials redesign project will slow traffic speeds around this junction, and introduce new zebra crossings for pedestrians. Work is ongoing but feedback from pedestrians, cyclist

and drivers is already positive.

We also run a range of awareness campaigns about sharing road space, visibility (especially during the winter months) and safety training courses.

With more of us sharing the roads, we hope that these schemes will help make them safer for everyone, however we choose to travel.

Pic: Tom Scrace

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on road safety in the city

One of the petitions last week urged the council to rename the roundabout on the A259 at Ovingdean. But the request to call it Veterans Roundabout was merely noted. Any change will involve a strict process. The roundabout is overlooked by the prominent Blind Veterans UK premises formerly known as St Dunstan’s. Another petition looked at the detail of parking bays in Stanford Avenue and suggested pragmatic minor changes.

The petitioner will have to wait though while officials monitor how the resident parking and pay and display scheme there is working.

Two deputations touched on proposals to build bus lanes in Edward Street. The “Better Bus Area” scheme has won £3.5 million from the government. The council and Brighton and Hove Buses are jointly putting in a further £2 million. The scheme is part of plans to revitalise the bottom end of Edward Street. It was prompted in part by American Express building new offices. Its old blue and white building faces demolition.

At the same time, pressure on parking spaces at the Royal Sussex County Hospital has grown. It has

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LATEST NEWS 07

Marina Life Brighton Marina’s Kirsty Pollard looks forward to Brighton’s Big Screen

e are delighted to be teaming up with Brighton’s Big Screen, planned right next door to us on the beach from 30 July–26 August 2013. The screen is located half a mile away from the Marina’s shops, huge selection of bars, restaurants & cafés, boutique Hotel Seattle, 26-lane bowling, eight-screen cinema, casino, health & fitness club and boat, dive & fishing trips.

The Marina is the prefect start before – or after – your seafront screening.

The Big Screen was first presented by Murray Media in 2012, a huge 27sq m LED screen arrived on Brighton’s seafront last summer for the Olympics. The screen broadcast live coverage of the Games alongside a selection of blockbuster movies which thousands of residents and visitors enjoyed. This event was a first, not only for Brighton, but for the UK! This year, the free outdoor beachfront cinema is back and it’s got a lot bigger, double the size in fact with 40 sq m. The screen will showcase some of the biggest recent box office hits including Les Misérables, Life Of Pi and Oblivion along with movie classics and top live sporting events with the onset of the Ashes and the World Athletics Championships. Special themed weekends and evenings, including an exclusive chance to meet the stars are in the pipeline, ideal for kids and adults alike.

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The deputation about St James’s Street presented by the Community Action Group floated the idea of pedestrianising the bottom end.

Members of the group want eastbound buses rerouted along Edward Street. They said that the proposed changes to Edward Street should have been considered along with ways to boost trade in St James’s Street. The council has to balance a desire for joined up government or a holistic approach to policy-making with the need to define clearly the limits of any scheme.

Committee members also have the chance to have questions answered. But even councillors who are familiar with the way democratic decision-making works can become frustrated by aspects of the process.

Councillor Alan Robins asked about dangerous junctions near two schools in Portslade – Benfield Primary and St Peter’s Infant School.

He said: “I’m told by the road safety team they are currently only considering work on junctions where there have been eight injury-causing accidents in three years. “Can you confirm this is the case and when asked by parents, ‘will a child need to be injured before something is done’, should I answer, ‘no, it will take eight actually?’”

The committee chairman, Councillor Pete West, said that it was necessary to prioritise the way in which the council’s limited funds were spent. He wanted officials to target places with the most and worst accidents. He said that there had been one minor accident in the places in question.

Councillor Graham Cox asked how many people had been prosecuted by the council for dog fouling in the past 12 months. Councillor West

said: “Two fixed penalty notices were issued for fouling over the last 12 months. One was withdrawn due to insufficient evidence and the other was not paid. That resulted in court action and a successful prosecution.

The court sentenced the dog owner to a £100 fine, £350 costs and £15 victim surcharge.”

He said that the council had received 432 complaints about dog fouling and that the small animal welfare team – the equivalent of 4.1 full-time staff – had carried out 315 patrols. They had dealt with 328 stray dogs and investigated 254 dangerous dogs or dog attacks. He added: “We have a mixed approach that includes education, advice and enforcement.”

COMMUNAL RECYCLING It was only after this had been cleared up that the main business was tackled by councillors in a meeting that lasted about four and a half hours. The first substantive item was to approve the introduction of communal recycling bins from Kemp Town to Sackville Road in Hove. The new bins will take up 272 parking bays which will upset some people.

But recycling rates are low in the areas where there are currently communal bins for general rubbish.

Then it was off to the countryside, although not literally. The committee was asked to agree the aims and the terms of reference for a new City Downland Estate Advisory Board. The council has nearly 12,000 acres of farmland, mostly in the South Downs National Park. Last year a decision was taken to bring the management of the rural estate back in house.

The next item asked councillors to endorse the application for Brighton, Hove and Lewes to become a biosphere reserve. The application will be made to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation (UNESCO), probably in September. Among the benefits, the council hopes that green tourism and the green industries locally would receive a boost, helping sustain not just the environment but the local economy.

Air pollution and measures to tackle it were also on the table. Members were asked to approve an “air quality management area” more tightly focused on where nitrogen dioxide (NO2) levels are being recorded above the legal limits. And to approve ideas to help us all breathe more easily, including restrictions on the worstoffending vehicles with the creation of a low emission zone.

It will surprise few people that North Street, Queen’s Road and St James’s Street in Brighton have problems with air pollution as do some other heavily used bus corridors. And anyone living near the route used by lorries between Shoreham Harbour and the Brighton bypass knows that it sometimes seems filled with fumes. But Rottingdean High Street is also affected. Narrow streets with highsided buildings, especially on hills, are particularly vulnerable.

The final proposal involved extending the Old Shoreham Road cycle lane further west to the Nevill Road and Sackville Road traffic lights. A report on the matter took up more than 100 pages of an agenda and reports pack stretching to almost 600 sides of A4. War And Peace is light reading by comparison. The committee is next due to meet on Tuesday 8 October. ■

It would be rude not to be neighbourly so we are getting in on this year’s action with on-screen competitions with Marina prizes up for grabs such as cinema and bowling tickets, meals for two, powerboat rides and loads of gift vouchers – everyone really will be a winner. The Marina will be running Big Screen VIP ticket giveaways; just visit our Facebook page.

Summer is simply going to be packed with great entertainment... beside the seaside, beside the sea!

Kirsty Pollard, Brighton Marina’s Marketing and Events Manager kirsty.pollard@x-leisure.co.uk www.brightonmarina.co.uk

www.brightonmarina.co.uk ONE MILE EAST OF BRIGHTON PIER – NO 7 BUS SHOPS BOWLING CINEMA FITNESS HOTEL CASINO BARS RESTAURANTS SAIL FISH DIVE BOAT TRIPS

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ONLY JOKING!

In & Out

Bare cheek

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Special “Short-lived Double Acts” Edition

Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

In

FAIR & FESTIVAL ROUNDUP

• Cheese ’n’ Onion • Les Dennis and Dustin Gee • Lenny and Jerry • Topping and Butch • Bronx Bunny and Teddy T

Out

More East Sussex festivals and fairs...

SEVEN DIALS SUMMER FAYRE Face-painting, drumming, a demonstration of martial arts by a fat bloke and several children, crepes, warm Holsten Pils at £4 a can, and a huge number of motorists complaining that the area has been pedestrianised for the day and they can’t get to Dyke Road.

July 17th

CHICHESTER ALTERNATIVE MUSIC FESTIVAL Bands confirmed: Orphans, T.A.G.N.U.T., Wisdom of Crocodiles, Custard, Purity Brown, Jesus Wears Moccasins, Auschwitz Casino, Magnolia, Phil's Paintbox, Stain, Angry Paul, Applebaum, July 20th–23rd UCKFIELD SUMMER FAIR Coconut shy, bric a brac, cream seas, hog roast, Pimms stall that will have everyone rat-arsed by 12.30, hot dogs, a demonstration of

WITHDEAN LITERARY FESTIVAL Appearances by crime novelist Jeffrey Taylor-Wood, fantasy writer Chris Hoy, and children’s author Stephanie Tripp (the Pixies of Billingtree Wood series.) Romance writer Rosie Reece will be

What we used to say An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of overblown, managerial codswallop.

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the old country art of saddling that no one will be paying any attention to, and drumming.

July 25th

• Bruce Forsyth and Ronnie Corbett • Noble and Silver • Hudson and Pepperdine • Pasquale and Walsh • Mitchell and Mounfield

explaining how to write a Mills & Boon in half an hour and Will Self will be using the words “uxorious”, “sesquipedalian”, and “jentacular.”

July 27th

WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Upskill” Though sounding like wildlife flattened by a United Parcel Service van, this grotesque neologism has actually been developed by UK educationalists.

Which fact would, in any rightthinking society, automatically disqualify them from the job.

WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Learn”, “Improve”.

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CELEBCITY

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Steve Coogan is suited & booted for his new film, Kim Sears’ Brighton roots, Mark Woolley & Frankie

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THE ART OF TENNIS

Kim Sears may have spent a long time touring with her Wimbledon Champion boyfriend and now lives with him in a £5 million house in Surrey, but don’t forget she used to be a Brighton girl! Sears studied English Literature at Sussex University for three years, after growing up in East Sussex and studying for A-Levels in Burgess Hill. Sears is now said to be painting portraits of pets for her company, ‘Brushes And Paws’, showing off her love of dogs and paintings (her dog, Maggie May, even has a Twitter account!). We’re hoping she and Murray will make a trip back to Brighton soon, and if it isn’t already booked for Kutcher and Kunis perhaps they could start thinking about a big day at the Royal Pavilion?

FRANKIE GOES COAST 2 COAST

Having released his second EP online this year and showing us he hasn’t finished yet, we wondered when we’d see Frankie Cocozza and his infamous big hair again (it’s been cut now but it’s somehow still big). Lo and behold, the ex-Celebrity Big Brother runner up was spotted in the flesh at Brighton Marina’s Coast 2 Coast! If you didn’t spot him, don’t worry, a new video from his latest EP, ‘Embrace’, is now on YouTube.

SPOTTED

NEW STYLE SQUAD FOR ITV’S THIS MORNING

!

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa PicSelect

ALPHA MALE

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Emmerdale Tate, AKA ac ’s favourite vet Zoe chatting with tress Leah Bracknell, Station. Wel her friends at Brighton first lesbian l known for playing the ch opera, Bracknaracter in a UK soap el her hand to l has also turned releasing he a bit of fitness, r DVD Yo You recently ga And .

he new Alan Partridge film sees a hostage situation, guns, police and a whole lot of danger. It’s only fitting, then, that Partridge – local funnyman Steve Coogan’s best creation – should don a James Bond-esque suit to his film preview; step forward Brighton’s favourite tailor: Gresham Blake. Looking for a suit which says ‘Prince Charles crossed with Roger Moore’ we hope Partridge will be looking his best while using his licence to...make us laugh. The film has been in talks for years, but Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa will finally be released in August. We. Can’t. Wait.

Mark Woolley, creative director of Electric Hairdressing (Ship Street, Brighton), has been chosen as the new expert hairstylist on ITV’s This Morning. Mark, who has also appeared on Channel 4′s Gok Wan’s Style Secrets and Made In Chelsea, will join stylist Darren Kennedy and make-up artist Mikey Phillips to form ‘The Style Squad’ on This Morning Summer from this week!

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

Follow me: latestcelebcity

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010_LS637_kay_comps_Social Diary 12/07/2013 12:43 Page 2

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BRIGHTON WRITES

Andrew Kay

Sponsored by Bardsley’s Fish & Chips

Guards!

Guards!

H

ow things come around. My career in publishing saw me designing almost every kind of book, from the seriously academic to the academically silly, thrillers, romance, cookery (of course), fashion, poetry and kids’ books (perhaps my least favourite). I went from Weidenfeld & Nicolson to William Collins and then to Victor Gollancz.

It was there I first encountered the works of Sir Terry Pratchett, or plain old Terry as he was back then. I was handed a manuscript for a book called Mort and the phone number of an illustrator called Josh Kirby. I went away and spent the next few hours laughing uproariously. Pratchett made me read fantasy and like it. He made me laugh like a drain. If novels were drugs then Pratchett would be a pusher – and I was hooked.

Funnily enough, Pratchett fans pop up in the most extraordinary places. The least likely people have become fans, lapping up his weird world of off-beat wizards, glam witches, arch academics and unlikely heroes.

Any how – a few months back I bumped into my friend Sarah Hutchings of City Reads and she slipped me the word that this year’s book was Pratchett’s Guards! Guards!. I was sworn to secrecy and made to do so for a second time by the lovely Laura Lockington who is also working on

“The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp” –Terry Pratchett the project. Now this is something of a coup.

Pratchett is big news – globally! He’s also unwell with a form of Alzheimers which must be awful for a man with such an inventive mind.

To get his book as the City Reads project was a triumph – but now he is to make a rare public appearance on stage at Brighton Dome with a group of his creative cohorts. No doubt this will be

one of the hottest tickets – not only in Brighton but far and wide – so book now if you want to guarantee a seat.

City Reads is such a great project. Last year My Policeman was the title, it was a huge hit and a talking point across the city. This year there are more events than ever before attached to Sir Terry Pratchett, and I am delighted to say that in my role as a food festival person we have been able to work with the City Reads team to create a Pratchett event in this year’s Autumn Harvest programme. For one night only we will be helping to stage an evening of Pratchett complete with Discworld food and drink and a live reading of the dramatised version of Guards! Guards!. Sir Terry will not be at that one but I think one outing to Brighton is probably enough for the man and privilege enough for the city.

I still read the books, they still make me laugh out loud and they are wonderfully timeless, so much so that his literary legacy will live on for generation after generation.

Terry Pratchett and Friends – UK exclusive.

Sir Terry Pratchett will be joined by three friends from his multimedia production company, Narrativia.

Brighton Dome, Sunday 29 September, 1pm. Tickets from £15 (£12 concessions) Sir Terry is unable to do a signing, but books on sale, courtesy of City Books, will be stamped exclusively for this event. Doors open at 1pm.

‘Guards! Guards! Live: An Interactive Event With Supper’, Friday 13 September, 7pm–9pm, £24 Tickets: 01273 709709.

Follow me: @latestandrew

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! to some lucky readers. This glittering set includes some of their most famous tunes including ‘Blue Monday’ and ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’.

COMPETITIONS WIN TICKETS FOR ‘9 TO 5: THE MUSICAL’ PLUS SIGNED CD

The wonderful musical written by Dolly Parton returns to the Theatre Royal Brighton thanks to popular demand. You could win four tickets to the opening night of this international smash hit musical, which returns to Brighton for one week only between 5–10 August. Not only that, your prize will include a copy of the 9 To 5 CD

For your chance to win just tell us: Q: Where did New Order record this live CD? autographed by the Tennessee beauty, Dolly Parton herself!

For your chance to win just tell us: Q: Who wrote the music and lyrics for 9 To 5?

Terms and conditions apply: Prize is valid for Monday 5 August only

WIN NEW ORDER LIVE AT BESTIVAL CD

’80s rock band New Order have had some outstanding hits over the years and thrilled audiences at some great festivals in 2012. One of their favourites was Bestival and made a live recording of their fantastic set. Live At Bestival 2012 is a charity CD to support the Isle Of Wight Youth Trust and we have three copies to give away

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 29 July 2013.

011_LS637_lynnruthvanessa _editorial 10/07/2013 13:13 Page 3

BRIGHTON WRITES Head shot Courtesy Jerry Lebens

Lynn Ruth Miller The San Francisco-based comedian on whistle power

R

obert Smith has been arrested several times for whistling on the streets of Portland Oregon. Residents said he was disturbing their peace.

The court listened to shop owners, pedestrians and outraged mothers’ complaints and last February, decided that Smith was free to whistle as long as he didn’t stand still. Now, Robert Smith walks throughout downtown Portland, whistling a penetrating, tuneless melody so loud you can hear him blocks away.

“I get more self-worth out of whistling. I do it every day – weather permitting,” he said. “I’m not out here to be the best whistler in the world. I’m just trying to “Whistling is a make people smile.”

I think that is a lovely attitude, one delightful way to that all of us should think about adopting. Whistling is a delightful way spread joy, catch to spread joy, catch someone’s someone’s attention attention and call the dog. My sister could whistle before she could say a and call the dog” sentence. She, like Robert Smith, used to love to whistle while she walked.

The difference is that my sister was a fat, adorable three year old who toddled happily in the neighbourhood; Smith is a grown man; a construction worker, who should have better things to do with his time.

However, the end results for both of them are the same. When neighbours saw my sister wandering through Birkhead Place, they would call my mother and say, ”Ida, your kid ran away again.” That served to alert my mother and give my sister the attention she wanted. She too had no intentions of being the best whistler in Toledo, Ohio. She wanted her mother. My sister’s whistling often took her out of our gated community and into the main thoroughfare.

One summer day, in 1944, my sister wandered out of the house whistling and attracted a mangy dog who fell madly in love with her unique melody. The dog followed her down the street, past manicured lawns and budding maple trees, across busy intersections and crowded parking lots until at last, a policeman noticed the tiny, dimpled whistler followed by a large, flea infested hound.

He stopped my sister and said, as kind policemen did in the days before they carried guns and a chip on their shoulder: ”Darling where are you going?”

My sister, who had not mastered speech as well as she had her tuneful art, said, ”Dog!” and she smiled at the policeman expecting him to tell her she was a brilliant child because she said a complete word. At this very moment, my mother dashed into the street, her apron strings flying behind her yelling, ”Marsha Dee! STOP!” The policeman stopped. Pedestrians stopped. My sister kept walking and whistling her way past the drugstore toward the bakery.

She pointed to the dog. “We hunnry.” she announced.

The policeman went into the bakery, bought a bag of cookies. He gave one to my sister and one to the dog. “Say thank you,” my mother said to my sister. The dog barked, my mother popped a tranquilizer and the policeman continued his beat.

The moral of this story is: there was a time when a whistle got you a cookie, but now-a-days, all you get is a citation.”

Whistle and dance the shimmy You will find your audience.

– Anonymous Watch Lynn Ruth Miller at

11

Vanessa Austin Locke What’s in a name?

I

’m going to have to lower the tone this week because Katie Hopkins (yeah, I didn’t know who she was either) made a total burk of herself (again, it seems) on This Morning. I don’t want to give Hopkins the attention she’s gagging for, but the urge to drop-kick the old bag in print is too strong and professionalism meant that poor Holly Willoughby couldn’t say what she obviously wanted to say, so I’m going to do it for her.

Firstly if you haven’t seen the YouTube video, then watch it. From behind the sofa. It’s nine minutes of her wittering to an open-mouthed Phil Schofield and incredulous Holly Willoughby about why she judges her kids’ school friends by their names. She seemed particularly offended by the names Tyler and Charmaine. Cue Tyler and Charmaine thanking their lucky stars that they don’t have to go and munch carrot sticks with Petunia Dursley’s brats.

So firstly, the subject matter – yawn. Of course there’s a social divide around names. There always has been. That’s why we choose them.

We want them to represent our children and ourselves. A name is an ambassador that proclaims us.

There’s a great moment in Anne of Green Gables (my icon) where she’s pondering Shakespeare’s famous words: “That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.” She muses that it just wouldn’t smell as sweet if it were called a thistle or a skunk cabbage. The girl’s got a point, and Hopkins is right when she observes that names can signify some things about a person. But “Of course there’s a that is absolutely the only concession I am willing to give the social divide around woman who actually said, on live television: “A name is a really names. There always efficient way of working out what class that child comes from” and, has been. That’s why (the gruesome bit) “Do I want my we choose them” children to play with them?”

So it’s not about names at all, is it Katie? It’s about bigotry. Might as well make it about race, religion or gender, it carries the same connotations. Are we not over this? Didn’t you get the memo, you know, post World War II? Class isn’t what you’re born into any more, it’s how you choose to conduct yourself and I’m willing to bet that little Tyler’s mum has more class in her long, pink diamante-encrusted fingernail than Hopkins will ever have.

Unsurprisingly, the woman got seen off with very little effort from her opponent and the usually gentle presenters, with Schofield actually mouthing the B-word at her. The best bit though had to be when she said she hated geographical names like London and Brooklyn, before Schofield reminded her that her kid’s called India. I mean seriously, if she wants her kids to be around good influences she might consider having them adopted because that kind of attitude is an embarrassment to everything that this country’s people have worked so tirelessly to improve. It’s dangerous and downright unacceptable.

The basting continues on Twitter (it’s like having people in the stocks isn’t it?) with Caitlyn Moran tweeting: “Torn between wanting to continue ignoring Katie Hopkins, and finding out where she lives and running her over with a tank #thismorning.” To which she replied” “I don't think you need a tank sweetie. Those thighs would do it.”

Clearly you can’t buy class, no matter which you aspire to. And if names really are reflective of our class and intelligence Katie, then I suggest you allow us all to benefit from the shortcut you speak of and change yours to Skunk Cabbage.

Follow me: @vnessenvy

012_LS637_interview_011_LS466_interview 12/07/2013 12:04 Page 2

12

L7 INTERVIEW NF: “The next thing me and Simon write will be the second part of the alien roadtrip trilogy [laughs].”

SP: “Who knows what we’ll do next.”

MAKE MINE A TRIPLE

Simon Pegg & Nick Frost talk to Holly Cozens about the last film in their ‘Cornetto’ trilogy; male friendship & blowing up roundabouts How did the idea come about for The World’s End? Simon Pegg: “The pub crawl thing comes from a script Edgar [Wright] had when he was young.

I’ve never been a big pub crawler, me. I like to stay in one pub. It’s like, if we go from pub to pub we’re on a quest, there’s a reason to drink 12 pints when really the reason is that you’re probably an alcoholic.”

Nick Frost: “I don’t think alcoholics do pub crawls though.”

SP: “No, they don’t need to.”

NF: “They just sit there and they don’t give a hoot who sees them.”

Do you ever wonder what happened to the people from your school days?

NF: “No, not at all. I’m not a nostalgic person, I don’t look back, I just kinda plod forward and that makes me happy. I’m not on E... I’m not on eBay?” SP: “You are, you’re currently £149.99.” [laughs].

NF: “I mean I’m not on Facebook, and I think if I was gonna keep up with people from school it would have happened before that point. I always think the thing about Gary and Andy in this film is that is what happens if things don’t evolve and then you have that thing where you meet 20 years later. Also, I am terrible at small talk so the thought of being in a room with a hundred people I went to school with when I was 14 and say: ‘how you doin’?! You alright? you got kids?’, it doesn’t interest me at all, and they’re like” ‘Ooh we’ve been watching you!'”

So how does yours and Simon’s friendship work when you’re working together?

NF: “I say ‘ooh I’ve been watching you on the Star Wars!'” [laughs] SP: “We just move forward, we’ve never stopped moving forward. If we’re both doing something separately and we don’t see each other for six months, there’s never any period of getting to know each other again. We just pick up where we left off.

That tends to be the case because we stay in touch all the time. Friendships that live are friendships that evolve, you have to mutate to survive, you can’t stay where you are.

NF: “Last night was the case in point of our relationship. We laughed, literally for an hour, coming back from Dublin and all we said was the same thing over and over again with little tweaks here and there.”

“Friendships that live are friendships that evolve, you have to mutate to survive” Nick, why weren’t you involved in the writing process for this film?

NF: “Shaun Of The Dead and Hot Fuzz worked with Simon and Edgar writing it; they did pretty well and they were successful so I wouldn’t want to assume I would be invited to take part in that writing process.”

SP: “Well, it wouldn’t be a ‘Cornetto’ film otherwise.”

NF: “Yeah, exactly. What if I’d helped and it was terrible, I would get the blame for that in some weird way, shape or form. I have my turn on the script. I give it back to them, we go through the whole thing line by line and we move forward from that point.”

SP: “We wrote Shaun Of The Dead and did Hot Fuzz in the same way. Both times we bought Nick in towards the end of the process and said ‘sprinkle your magic fairy dust on this’, and these films have always worked. Nick and I wrote a £100million film together called Paul, which he wrote. These films are written by me and Edgar, directed by Edgar. They’re set in the UK, usually about conformism, about an individual versus a collective force...”

NF: “About male friendship...”

SP: “About male friendships and that exists within a bubble of these three films.”

Tell us about your experience filming in Hertfordshire, and the first roundabout which is a bit of a local landmark?

SP: “We destroyed it!”

NF: “We blew it up!”

SP: “We actually paid for it to be re-flowered because we de-flowered it.”

NF: (Laughs) “That's really good, that’s the first time I’ve heard that.”

SP: “I am a Hertfordshire boy, you know? For me it was great shooting in Elstree, Welwyn and Letchworth. It’s a 15-minute ride into work for me, it doesn’t get much better than that. We had great fun, we were thoroughly welcomed. I think we were a big novelty for people at first, we were a slight annoyance to some of the local residents as well as we held up traffic and shut down shops.

But people were so lovely.”

NF: “There were times where the camera was on the back of a quad bike so you can’t just shut off one street, we would have to shut off all of it! For five to ten minutes at a time.”

SP: “The idea was that it was set in a garden city, it was set in a new town and Newton Haven is somewhere that’s just sprouted up and we liked the idea that part of it had been made by an alien life form. The film is not a comment may I say on Welwyn Garden City or Letchworth!”

Any favourite pubs?

SP: “Yeah, there was like one pub in the whole town! We actually turned Letchworth train station into a pub so a lot of people coming back from work would look back at the train station and think ‘what the f***? I didn't realise I’d just left the pub!

I thought I’d come home from London’.”

NF: “We were saying it would be funny for people to say ‘I’ll meet you at the pub at the station, you know, the pub that is at the station!’ and people not being able to find each other.”

SP: “We turned the Broadway cinema into a nightclub which was great fun because obviously people will be able to watch the film in the Broadway cinema which is interesting.”

NF: “Very meta!”

How proud are you of the reaction to this film as the final part of the ‘Cornetto’ trilogy and a stand alone film?

NF: “It’s fantastic. I don’t think the three of us have ever sat back and thought ‘yeah, we made it’ – that’s not in us. We’re about the work, we like working. Now and again we’ll text each other and be like ‘you know we just f****** did this’ and have those moments but that’s about it, that’s the only way we indulge ourselves.”

SP: “We felt very proud of the film. We are very proud of what we’ve done, how hard we worked.”

NF: “The fact that we finished it, that we finished three things!”

SP: “When the reviews started to come in, it was an incredible moment because it was proof of what we had hoped. We’d made a good film and lots of other people seemed to think we had. It was extraordinary and means an awful lot to us because we’ve managed to make three films in the UK which are very much about living here and concerns that we find very personal, and they will be seen across the world, so we feel inordinately proud.”

NF: “I’m proud that we essentially haven’t sold out, haven’t put our heads up our own arses and been all ‘aren’t we amazing?!” [laughs].

The World’s End is released Friday 19 July, showing at Dukes @ Komedia, Odeon and Cineworld

013_LS637_theatre royal_011_LS466_interview 12/07/2013 15:58 Page 2

THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON The novel was adapted for TV by Abi Morgan for a BBC1 series which was broadcast in January 2012.

As Rachel Wagstaff, who adapted the novel for stage, tells us: “Birdsong is an incredibly powerful novel, and through the story of Faulks’ fictional characters, we can understand what it might have been like for individuals

e

o ve r • e ccover • o o

r • on veer • on thth

B

irdsong, adapted from Sebastian Faulks’ much loved wartime epic novel, an intimate story of love and sacrifice set against the backdrop of the Western Front, visits the Theatre Royal Brighton for a week long run from Monday 29 July to Saturday 3 August.

In pre-war France, young Englishman Stephen Wraysford embarks on a passionate and dangerous affair with his host’s wife, Isabelle Azaire. As civil unrest

n t he ••oon the coco

Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks’ powerful wartime novel, is adapted for the stage & comes to the Theatre Royal Brighton

caught up in this most extraordinary period of world history.

Given the approaching centenary of The Great War, it is vital that the courage and sacrifices of those who fought and died are not only remembered, but understood. Lest we forget; lest we let suffering on such a scale ever happen again.”

Monday 29 July – Saturday 3 August, Eves 7.45pm, Thu & Sat mats 2.30pm, £10–£25 0844 871 7650 (bkg fee)* www.atgtickets.com/brighton* *Booking fee

h e c ov e n nt the cover r

v

Bittersweet symphony

13

mounts and war breaks in on the idyll of his former life, Stephen finds he must now lead his men through the carnage of the Battle of the Somme and the sprawling tunnels that lie deep underground. Faced with unprecedented horror, the war-hardened Stephen clings to the shrinking memory of Isabelle as his world explodes around him.

Birdsong was ranked 13th in the 2003 BBC survey The Big Read, finding the nation’s favourite book.

Wedded bliss Planning a wedding? Then don’t miss our wedding special out 24 September, packed with ideas for venues, dresses, photographers & more. Don’t say “I do” without it!

For more information call Rachel on 01273 818150 x105

014_LS637_hotlist_Hotlist 10/07/2013 13:10 Page 2

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HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist

chutneys, plus superb ice creams.

The Chilli Pickle Canteen: order online at http://thechillipicklecanteen.com 01273 900384

Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk British & Modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele.

Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

Fully licensed.

Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleys-fishandchips.co.uk

Coast

Coast in the heart of the Lanes boasts one of Brighton’s best outside eating areas with a huge sunny terrace. Enjoy delicious steaks and seafood, all locally sourced. Modern European fare with a British twist. Serving breakfast every Saturday and Sunday and lunch and dinner seven days a week. Inside there are three floors of seating to choose from! Set lunch and dinner menus available Monday–Thursday.

28 East Street, BN1 1HL. 01273 773727. info@coastbrighton.co.uk

Ohso Social

Situated alongside Brighton Pier, occupying the best location on the beach, Ohso opens for coffees, cocktails, breakfast and dinner.

Popular for group celebrations or a romantic table for two. The heated outdoor beach terrace provides a wonderful environment for alfresco dining serving classic fish ‘n’ chips and signature mussels whilst watching the starlings dart between the piers. Ohso hosts legendary summer beach parties nightly when sunny.

Ohso Social, 250A Kings Road Arches, Brighton, BN1 1NB. Bookings 01273 590918, www.ohsosocial.co.uk

The Foragers

Winners of the prestigious Sussex Food and Drink Finals 2012 for Best Eating Experience in Sussex and awarded an AA Rosette for their excellent cuisine. Furthermore, take advantage of their award-winning Beer Garden whilst the sun shines. To celebrate these accolades The Foragers is offering complimentary champagne cocktails to all bookings of ten or more, just make sure to mention Latest 7 when making your party booking!

The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, 01273 733134, www.theforagerspub.co.uk

The Townhouse

At Kemp Town's favourite restaurant their chefs lovingly create delicious menus using the finest locally sourced produce. They take huge pride in delivering quality food with a warm and friendly welcome.

The Townhouse has an amazing location overlooking New Steine and the buzzing St. James Street. You can relax in their bar with

your favourite cocktail while listening to live music. Join them for Kemp Town’s best breakfast every Saturday and Sunday 9am–12pm, lunch from 12pm everyday, and dinner from 6pm. They offer amazing value set menus, lunch (2 course £11.95) and evening (2 courses £14.95), Monday–Thursday, and the best roast in town on Sundays from £9.95.

01273 693216 81-82 St James Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1PA www.thetownhousekemptown.co.uk

Indian Chaula’s Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Chaula’s, Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Chaula’s Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton.

Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Buffet available for £6.99; Meal Deal for £9.99.

Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

The Chilli Pickle is a local favourite with national standing which combines traditional Indian methods with local produce and an individual style. Their ample thalis spice up a midday meeting or a catch-up with friends, while the evening menu offers inventive street food, local seafood and tasty regional curries, served in an upbeat and informal atmosphere. The Chilli Pickle featured in the National Restaurant Awards’ UK top 100 in 2011-12, and scooped ‘Best Casual Dining’ at the 2012 British Curry Awards.

The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Square, Brighton 01273 900 383, www.thechillipickle.com

The Chilli Pickle Canteen

The definitive delivery service from The Chilli Pickle launched this year. Bold, Indian-inspired design, specially-commissioned artwork and smart delivery stake out new ground in home dining. Meanwhile, the menu showcases some of the restaurant’s familiar touches: with regional curries, homemade pickles and Indian Summer

Indian Summer

Indian Summer has been pioneering authentic regional food from the sub continent for over a decade. The Brighton favourite is listed in the ‘Top 100’ restaurants in the UK by the Cobra Good Curry Guide 2013 and recently awarded Trip Advisor Certificate of Excellence. The new lunch summer offering is completed with a selection of Thalis and new tandoori roasts on Sundays.

Indian Summer, 69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 711001, www.indian-summer.org.uk

Italian

celebs in season from soap stars to politicos.

Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Thai Street Thai

Dishes served here are simple, healthy and delicious using the finest and freshest ingredients. Thai people love their street food and Street Thai is the most authentic way of eating and experiencing Thai food. Set menu is available every day except Saturday with two-courses at £8.95 and three-courses at £10.95.

Street Thai, 01273 207444, 5 & 20 Brighton Square, Brighton BN1 1HD

Al Duomo

Brighton’s longest established family run pizzeria, using fresh ingredients, has recently updated its menu and restaurant team.

Offering a comprehensive array of traditional stone-baked pizzas made fresh daily with gourmet ingredients imported direct from Italy and authentic Italian dishes from the a la carte menu. Gluten-free pasta and vegan dishes are also offered.

Try their special lunch/pre-theatre menu at £9.95 for two courses with a great selection of choices or £12.75 for three courses. Cocktails are available from the cocktail bar and Monday to Friday you can enjoy 2-4-1 cocktails from 3pm–9pm. Check out the special mid-week Cabaret Nights, Elvis, Michael Buble and Las Vegas Swing. Open seven days a week.

Booking recommended.

Al Duomo Restaurant, 6 & 7 Pavilion Buildings, Brighton, BN1 1EE, 01273 326741, www.alduomo.co.uk

Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

015_LS6376_food__food 12/07/2013 12:33 Page 2

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay travels to Lyon for an International Chef Exchange return match at Le Café des Fédérations

Kings of Lyon I

nternational Chef Exchange is perhaps the most exciting project I have ever started. It all stemmed from a superb dinner at Beaumont Hotel in Maastricht cooked by chef Audrey Eussen a couple of years ago. Since then, Audrey has been to Brighton and Drake’s chef Andrew Mackenzie to Maastricht. Chef proprietor and food festival supporter JeanChristophe Martin of L’Eglise in Hove was taken with the idea and rather brilliantly managed to persuade two of Lyon’s best known chefs, Yves Rivoiron of Le Café des Fédérations and JeanLouis Gelin from La Meuniere (more of him in another issue) to come to the UK on the exchange.

Lyon is a city dedicated to food, great food with one restaurant for every 240 members of the local population. That’s a lot more than even Paris!

Lyon is also the home of star chef Paul Bocuse, and you can’t go far without someone mentioning his name. Of course, Bocuse is a chef dedicated to great Michelin-starred gastronomy and there is plenty of that to be had in Lyon. But our host come from a different discipline, that of the Bouchon.

15

So what is a bouchon? Well, to be frank there is no real comparison in the UK. In a sense it serves the same purpose as the working men’s caff, but only in that it will serve food to people who work. The food is an entirely different kettle of... well not fish, let’s say meat. Yes, meat is at the core of all things bouchon in Lyon and I spent two days eating meats of all kinds, meats and wine, they are not averse to the odd tipple or ten.

Jean-Christophe is of course French so I was slightly apprehensive of him taking his cuisine to France, coals to Newcastle and all that. But I need not have worried as he had put together an impressive menu that represented so well what we have achieved in this country. And he was not backward in coming forward in telling the assembled foodies and chefs how good our British produce and cooking now is.

In support of this he had shipped out there some superb middle white pork and longhorn beef bone marrow to form the heart of his menu. The meats come from Richard Vaughan’s superb farm in Ross-on-Wye. The event was held at lunchtime, the traditional time to eat at a bouchon, and we started with plenty of the Great British Ridgeview sparkling white. The French agreed it was pretty damned fine although they are not prepared to accept that we Brits actually invented the méthode champenoise well in advance of them.

Plates of saucisson were handed round in advance of Jean’s first course, enormous platters of roasted beef bones from which we scooped the marrow onto superb bread and sprinkled with coarse salt. It’s a great dish, not for the dainty mouthed but packed with flavour from Richard’s exceptional beef.

This was followed by the superb pork, 55 days hung and lightly cold smoked before a slow roasting. It was moist and creamy rich, full of flavour that had les Française purring with delight like les chats that got le creme. He served it with buttery mash, savoy cabbage dressed with crumbled walnuts and roasted apples. It was an impressive example of how good British food can be when we simply let our quality produce speak for itself.

For dessert he made a crumble with apricots and strawberries. The scent of the fruits filled the room and that alone proved that you can do so much more with a strawberry than cover it in cream.

That afternoon we took a city tour that helped in walking it off, that is until our evening of wine and yet more charcuterie. I’m not sure I could eat like that more than once a month but it was a memorable experience and one that the French seemed to equally enjoy.

International Chef Exchange is part of the Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival. An hour-long TV programme has been made by Latest TV to be screened as part of the new channel’s launch early next year.

Le Café des Fédérations, 8–10 Rue Major Martin 69001 Lyon, 04 78 28 26 00, www.lesfedeslyon.com

Follow me: latestandrew

What’s your favourite French dish? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

016_019_LS637_previews_editorial 12/07/2013 10:57 Page 2

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WHAT’S ON MUSIC CHART, REVIEWS&BOOKINGS

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

8

Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 20

Seems like we’re looking at a whole new chart people!

Some refuse to be beaten, I’m talking about you Black Fields. Whether you want to keep this chart how it is or mix it up, you have to listen to have your say.

Words: Holly Cozens

1 The Black Fields The Fighter 2 The Longing Sky Dogstar feat. Julia Fitness 3 The Dead Reds Hell I know 4 The Speak Beautiful People 5 Jason Smart Mostly Water 6 Slipp Electro ft Osaro It’s Lifting Me (Remix) 7 Lolatwist Pretty 8 Running Dogs Rumpunch 9 Jaybee The Ballad Of Billy And Bonnie 10 Roger Tabry Right Here Waiting (Acapella Mix) 11 Raising Maisie Yes Here It Is 12 KontraPunkt After The Time 13 R21 Proved You Wrong 14 End Of The Spectrum Ashes 15 Julia Fitness Kingdom 16 WillB and The Bikini Black Special Fire In Me

L7 what’s on

Under review

Bookings

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED

TEXAS

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 21 November 2013, £48.50/37, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org In their 25th anniversary year Texas release their brand new studio album The Conversation.

I WANNA BE LOVED BY YOU

Studio Theatre, Brighton Dome, 2 August 2013, £12/10, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org Brighton Dome and Pink Fringe team up this August to provide you with a night featuring some of the best queer performers exploring the cult of celebrity. Don’t miss this fabulous roster of performers in a special one off mash up of theatre, cabaret and music, celebrating Brighton Pride 2013.

LES MCKEOWN’S BAY CITY ROLLER SHOW

Eastbourne Hippodrome, 7 November 2013, 01323 412000 , www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Lead singer of the tartaned sensation band on the 1970s, Les is in town to take you back and re-live teen years.

A NIGHT OF HELIOCENTRIC DUO EXCHANGE

The Blind Tiger Club, 21 August 2013, £8.50 An eclectic evening, featuring Fireside Chat With Lucifer Duo (Thurston Moore & Dylan Nyoukis), Galacto Fidelity Duo (Byron Coley & Savage Pencil) and Sub-Dwellers Duo (Karen Constance & Lauren Naylor).

LEE THOMPSON’S SKA ORCHESTRA

Concorde 2, 2 October 2013, £15 + booking fee, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk The brainchild of Madness saxophonist Mr Lee 'Kix' Thompson, Lee Thompson’s Ska Orchestra were formed, in the back streets of Hackney, in the early months of 2011. An action-packed and starstudded ensemble.

LOVE SUPREME FESTIVAL, Glynde Place, 5 July 2013 ✪✪✪✪✪

T

he very ambitious Love Supreme Festival got off to a good start, with large numbers there on the Saturday to see an impressive and eclectic line-up that featured a kaleidoscopic performance from disco legends Chic, headed by Nile Rodgers, a man whose CV is beyond impressive. Headliner Bryan Ferry and his trad-jazz Orchestra were always going to to find it hard to follow that, and fail they did, not helped by Ferry's overly languid style.

Elsewhere, Michael Kiwanuka’s easy going retro folk-soul, Courtney Pine’s Afro-Caribbean-jazz fusion whirlwind, and the various Brightonbased jazz acts on the intimate Bandstand stage generally impressed, while the Robert Glasper Experiment was one of several acts who not only were not able to grasp the ‘line check’ only needs of a festival, but suffered from a poor sound, something that was a surprising and negative aspect for the festival as a whole. Party vibes continued into the early hours on Saturday with White Mink’s electro swing sounds.

Full of day trippers, folding chairs, and an air of affluence, Love Supreme was blessed by exceptional weather, was well organised and full of great music, if lacking in non-musical entertainment that truly marks out a festival.

Jeff Hemmings

SOUTHERN TENANT FOLK UNION

Banjo player Pat McGarvey’s sixpiece band of Scottish folkies took to the stage at this intimate venue and showed why they are so well respected. Huddled around a single radio mic their soft harmonies recalled a Celtic Chatham County Line as they played two sets of atheist gospel songs, murder ballads and bluegrass stompers.

Newest and youngest member Rory Butler proved a revelation with his mature voice and fine guitar solos and the encore, with the band unplugged amongst the audience, was an excellent way to end. Never mind the Mumfords, this lot were the real deal.

The Palmeira, 5 July 2013 ✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements

17 UNIQUE 3 (Cakeboy Remix) Take This Love ft Adele Collins

SLAPDASH GALAXY

So much more than a one-man shadow puppet show, Jeff Achtem hurtled around the stage and the audience using a wealth of props and different light techniques, whilst narrating an original story that was simple but still sweet and funny.

There were also some surprisingly emotional moments, such as a moving “is he dead?” scene set to Arvo Pärt’s ‘Spiegel im Spiegel’, and there was also a memorable 3D section that was both technically intriguing, and good fun for the children. A marvellously inventive and creative show that was enjoyable and engrossing for people of all ages.

The Old Market, 6 July 2013 ✪✪✪✪✪ Joe Fuller

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016_019_LS637_previews_editorial 12/07/2013 10:57 Page 3 Foreste

WHAT’S ON STAGE

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES

STAGE: KING LEAR Frank Langella to star in King Lear at Chichester Festival Theatre this autumn

F

rank Langella is to star as King Lear at Chichester and Brooklyn Academy of Music.

The three time Tony Award-winning, Oscar nominated Broadway and film star will play the title role in a new production of Shakespeare’s King Lear opening at Chichester Festival Theatre this autumn, prior to transferring to the Harvey Theater at BAM in New York.

Jonathan Church, Artistic Director at Chichester Festival Theatre, says: “We are absolutely delighted to announce that this

17

legendary American actor has accepted our invitation to lead the company of King Lear here at Chichester; and equally delighted to be returning to BAM after our previous collaboration, Macbeth, in 2008.”

BAM Executive Producer Joseph V. Melillo adds: “I am thrilled to welcome one of our greatest actors to the BAM stage in January. The Chichester Festival Theatre production of King Lear will provide New York audiences the opportunity to experience Mr Langella perform

Henry VI: Harry the Sixth Theatre Royal, Brighton Weds 17–Sat 20 July Box office 0844 871 7650 www.atgtickets.com

The Spooky Men’s Chorale The Hawth, Crawley Weds 17 July Box office 01293 553636 www.tickets.hawth.co.uk

Barnum Theatre In The Park, Chichester Until 31 August Box office 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk

Stones In His Pockets Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne Tues 16–Sat 20 July Box office 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk

perhaps the most challenging role in the Shakespearean canon. It will be a significant theatre experience and a momentous occasion.”

King Lear will be directed by Chichester Associate Director Angus Jackson and designed by Robert Innes Hopkins.

Following the Minerva Theatre run, the production will transfer to BAM, New York, from 7 January–9 February 2014.

Frank Langella earned one of his three Tony Awards for his performance as Richard Nixon in the acclaimed production Frost/Nixon (Donmar Warehouse, West End and Broadway). He was also the recipient of an Olivier Award nomination and an Oscar nomination for the same role in the film version. His additional Tony Awards were for roles in Seascape and Fortune’s Fool, as well as three more nominations for Man and Boy, Dracula and Match.

In 2013/2014 Langella will star in six films including Grace Of Monaco opposite Nicole Kidman, Muhammad Ali’s Greatest Fight opposite Christopher Plummer, directed by Stephen Frears, and Draft Day opposite Kevin Costner.

King Lear, Minerva Theatre, Chichester, Thursday 31 October–Saturday 30 November 2013, 01243 781312, www.cft.org.uk

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TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

THAT’S THE TICKET Brighton’s newest theatre has broken the mould when it comes to booking to see their shows.

Gary Blair and James Weisz of Emporium Theatre were tired of booking sites adding an additional booking fee to the advertised ticket price, and then sometimes yet another fee for credit card bookings, and some VAT on top!

“Not only did we feel annoyed and frustrated,” says Gary, venue manager at Emporium, “but we started to resent those venues, and found it difficult to understand why this was happening.”

James, co-founder with Gary of Emporium, adds: “When we needed to set up our booking system we decided that it made perfect business sense to provide a 24hour service so our customers can book and pay online and either print their own ticket or save it to a smartphone. We don’t have to pay anybody to man a box office or to be selling over the phone, so why would we charge somebody a booking fee?”

Emporium’s encouragement to book online goes further with a 5% discount for every ticket and every show when booked online, and an early bird further reduction of 5% if booked more than two weeks in advance.

Needless to say, Emporium is winning some fans! www.emporiumbrighton.com

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

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WHAT’S ON COMEDY&FILM, ART&EVENTS half-formed works in progress of both regular Comic Boom compere and star of BBC’s Practical Jokers Paul McCaffrey, and of 2012’s Funny’s Funny winner Sam Savage (repeatedly compared to Micky Flanagan, but of the lady variety).

Caroline of Brunswick, Thurs 18 July, 7.30pm, £5

EVENTS: LGBT FILM FESTIVAL This year Brighton & Hove expand their celebrations into the film world with The Pride Film Festival

F

or weeks before the month of I Am Divine August arrives, Brighton starts gearing up for the ever popular Pride event, promising a weekend of vibrancy, fun, music and hopefully sunshine. This year they are going one step further to bring into the spotlight some of the most iconic LBGT heroes and personalities in film.

Brighton and Hove Pride has teamed up with local cinema The Duke Of York’s Picturehouse and Brighton’s Big Screen to bring you ‘The Pride Film Festival’, curated by Eyes Wide Open Queer Cinema, consisting of a series of six unique film events.

The opening event is certainly one of the most highly anticipated with the screening of I Am Divine, a film that has been astounding LGBT audiences all over the globe. Directed by Jeffrey Schwarz, this documentary details the life of the legendary actor, singer and drag queen Divine. This could only be followed by the marvellous Female Trouble from 1974, where Divine plays teenage runaway Dawn Davenport. Directed by John Waters who worked closely with Divine in other films such as Pink Flamingos and the 1988 cult hit Hairspray.

This double bill complete with drag queens, live music and prizes explodes the start of the season and each ticket sold during the festival will help raise money towards Brighton Pride. You can show your support for the incredible LGBT talent that will be hitting our screens during July and August by booking your tickets today. Each event will be held at either Duke Of York’s or Duke’s @ Komedia. Special LGBT films will also be shown on the open-air screen on Brighton’s famous beach over the Pride weekend.

The Pride Film Festival, various locations in Brighton, Friday 19 July–Sunday 4 August, prices from £9.60, www.picturehouses.co.uk/cinema/Dukes_At_Komedia

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TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

Rob Beckett

COMEDY: COMEDY AT THE CON Moving from their first Thursday of the month slot for one night only to be a curtain raiser for Mumford and Sons’ Gentlemen of the Road/Stopover Tour music festival. To celebrate, they will be raffling off two passes to this totally sold out event. Plus, of course, marvellous comedy from the likes of Jimmy Bird, Rob Beckett, Nick Doody and MC Dave Mounfield.

The Con Club, Lewes, Thurs 18 July, 8.30pm, £10/8 COMEDY: PAUL MCCAFFREY AND SAM SAVAGE EDINBURGH PREVIEWS One fiver for two shows – can’t say fairer than that! Treat yourself to the

EVENTS: U-BEND ZINE FAIR Come down and check out U-Bend's very first zine fair held in Brighton, making their amazing zines accessible to everyone via public space. Get involved and experience their gallery of work or apply for your own table.

The Western Front, Friday 19 July, 12pm–6pm, Free EVENT: RSPCA OPEN DAY AND DOG SHOW Animal charity RSPCA are hosting their annual open day fundraising event so you can help them to carry on their hard work. Enjoy a day of doggy fun with a dog show, stalls, raffles, games and so much more.

Braypool Sports Field, Patcham, Saturday 21 July, 10.30am, Free FILM: THE WORLD’S END (15) Dir: Edgar Wright When a boozy odyssey down memory lane turns into a fight against the end of the world – and involves pubs – you just know the final part of the Cornetto trilogy has arrived. Starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Martin Freeman, Rosamund Pike, Eddie Marsan and a few other familiar faces.

Released Fri 19 July Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Dukes@Komedia FILM: EASY MONEY (15) Dir: Daniel Espinosa Starring Joel Kinnaman (The Killing) as JW, a young man who supplements living beyond his

Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

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016_019_LS637_previews_editorial 12/07/2013 11:00 Page 5 Maggie Claringbould King Creosote

WHAT’S ON MUSIC&FILM, ART&EVENTS The World’s End

means in Stockholm by selling cocaine. S’easy, right? Not when you come to the attention of the criminal underworld and they’re none too pleased with you – or each other.

Add some dubious friends into the mix and it’s surviving by the skin of your teeth time.

Showing Fri 19 July Showing at Odeon and Duke Of York’s Picturehouse ART: ICONS Brighton Pride’s first ever Arts & Film Festival covering multi-aspects of LGBT art, culture and lifestyle has teamed up with Brighton based artist and art director Hizze Fletcher of Thirteen Art Productions to produce a flagship art exhibition in the city.

Following Pride’s ‘Icons’ theme this exhibition is set to include a number of recognised artists and photographers and will be one of the main focuses of the Arts & Film festival.

Jubilee Library, Brighton, 01273 290900. Mon 22 July–Thu 1 August

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pastels, watercolours and charcoal.

Naked Eye Gallery, 5 Farm Mews, Farm Road, Hove, 01273 204800.

Until 31 July MUSIC: LOCAL NATIVES With a well-received new album, produced by The National’s Aaron Dessner, Local Natives have expanded their sound but which still incorporates afropop-influenced guitars with hyperactive drumming and hooky three-part harmonies.

Loosely categorised as psyche-folk, they’re soulmates of Fleet Foxes, Vampire Weekend, Arcade Fire and Broken Social Scene.

Concorde 2, Tuesday 16 July, 7.30pm MUSIC: LEEROY STAGGER From Western Canada, where there seems to be an unlimited supply of top notch country roots rock singers, he’s been releasing albums since the late ’90s... This rough edged troubadour wears his rock ’n’ roll on his sleeve, mixing de rigeur politics and social comment with the personal via the musical byways of The Rolling Stones, Neil Young and The Replacements. The new album, Truth Be Sold, was produced

by Los Lobos’ Steve Berlin.

Prince Albert, Tues 16 July, 8pm, £9

ART: BARBARA SHIELDS Born in Rajasthan, India where she spent the first 25 years of her life, local artist Barbara Shields is exhibiting a selection of richly coloured still lifes, with works in oils,

For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

MUSIC: GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD Mumford & Sons join the line-up for the Gentleman Of The Road Stopover in Lewes

B

ack in 2008 Mumford & Sons made their Glastonbury debut, playing to about 200 people. Fast forward to Glastonbury 2013, and they performed in front of up to 100,000 as Sunday night headliners, on perhaps the best known platform of them all, The Pyramid Stage. But they nearly didn't make... Bassist (and former member of Brighton's The Moulettes) Ted Dwane had recently undergone a major operation to remove a blood clot and it was touch and go whether or nor not he would recover in time. Thankfully he did; the band put on a magnificent performance, leading singer and frontman Marcus Mumford to proclaim to the crowd: “We truly feel you got us here.”

The band only formed in 2007, from the emerging West London indie-folk scene that included Noah & The Whale, Laura Marling (whom Mumford used to date and drum for) and Johnny Flynn. Mumford has downplayed that characterisation as an exaggeration: “Mumford & Sons and a few other folk acts just happened to be operating in the same general area at the time... It’s not folk really. Well, some of it is, and it’s certainly not a scene. Someone got over-excited about a few bands who live in a hundred-mile radius and put it in a box to sell it as a package. It’s a community, not a scene. It’s not exclusive.” Nevertheless they made an immediate impact with their debut album Sigh No More while the follow up, Babel, reached number one in both the UK and US. From thereon, the Grammys, Brits et al have been showered on them like confetti.

And now they are ready to take Lewes by storm, as part of their Gentlemen Of The Road series of one-off ‘stopovers’, an idea they borrowed from the Railroad Revival Tour they took part in 2011 with Old Crow Medicine Show (a band who have heavily influenced their bluegrass leanings). The idea is that the band select unique places, creating venues, and curating the line ups. Over the two days Lewes will host the likes of Vampire Weekend, Brighton’s British Sea Power, White Denim, The Vaccines, Johnny Flynn and The Mystery Jets, plus there will be a number of 'fringe' events taking place in the town, including pub gigs, comedy and theatre. The town’s outdoor lido will also be open with special extended opening hours.

Gentleman Of The Road: The Stopover, The Convent Field, Mountfield Road, Lewes, BN7 2XD, Friday 19–Saturday 20 July, www.gentlemenoftheroad.com, SOLD OUT. (Fringe events are separately ticketed.)

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Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

Tues 16 Mal Webb

+ Johnny and Eagle 8pm £7

Wed 17 Tango Boot Camp

Argentine Tango.

8pm–11.30pm, £8/£5 OR £3.50 social dancing only/£3

Cabaret Bar

New Orleans Folk/Blues Singer Songwriter Andrew Duhon 8pm £6/5

Thurs 18 Club Criminal

Club Criminal Featuring the best of Rock and Indie goodness across 2 floors!

9pm0 £3/£2 Nus

Sun 21 Studio 9 Orchestra

Studio 9 Orchestra are back with a summer cocktail of 18-piece musical deliciousness to help you soak up the sun.

7pm £5

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WHAT’S ON CLUBS

L7 Bmusic Man Machine/pseudo human being Man Machine/super human being

SADE ALI’S PROMOTING THE ART OF PROMOTING

I

n 1978 Kraftwerk released the album The Man-Machine, shepherding you into a future that finally arrived on 26 June 2013.

So whilst Skynet has yet to go off and man still toys with the ideas of creating a lightsaber, Yoichiro Kawaguchi offers you Z-machines, the world’s first Robotic Music Band, an all robot trio, that on this date played their first live debut performance in Tokyo.

Hold on to your futures.

Supervised Japanese artists and creators have developed Z-Machines to realise the cutting edge party scene. 78 fingers, 12 picks, 3 bots. The robotic trio are Mach on guitar, Ashura on percussion and Cosmo on keyboard.

Together they play and make noise like a new age set of hippy terminators with a love for thrash metal and guitar trawling synthbeats, revealing that robots can do heavy metal just as well as Japanese pop.

They played alongside human pop duo Amoyamo teasing the idea that both robots and humans can be coaxed into acting together more fluidly. It’s as if we are seeing two species suddenly merge or the younger and older generations suddenly sort their differences out, we have a counterpart, Terminator was a horror don’t you know, Robots are like dogs but human, right? You know, like our best friends?! It wasn’t long before we in the Bmusic office began naming and talking to all our electronic devices.

Creator Kawaguchi dreams of sending his android protégés to other planets to perform. Here on Earth, though, robots already have a rich musical history – both for the sake of entertainment and for exploring the boundaries between humans and machines.

Unsurprisingly Z-machines comes across way less manufactured than One Direction; and whilst it’s easy to draw similarities between the produced pop puppets and puppeteers of The X Factor, what’s on offer here is a band that will turn up on time and has a lot more of their own personality to show. Oh, and they’re also pretty interesting.

Give them a listen whilst waiting for your lightsaber.

Find us: www.facebook.com/BmusicTV

Words: Ben Darling

@Bmusic_TV

Youtube.com/thisisBmusic

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

T

his week I’m going to give you an insider’s look at the life of a promoter.

Yes, a promoter, those mildly irritating people that stand on the streets waving flyers in your face trying to convince you to go to their club! I am one of these people. Although I get a lot of comments such as ‘get a real job’ and ‘do you even get paid for this?’, I love promoting. Promoting actually pays very well (I know the minimum for a promoting role to be as much as £8/hr.

Being a promoter also has its perks; you tend to meet a lot of the other promoters in Brighton and will more than likely never pay entry to a club again. Promoters are also the funniest, most interesting people ever (hence the fact they’re promoters).

Most people who walk past promoters will not take the flyer purely because they think promoters are paid by commission; they couldn’t be more wrong.

Promoters are purely there to inform you of what is happening at their club, offer you deals or offer to escort you to the venue. They are normal people and, like everyone else, they will probably be raving with you in the club after work, so cut them some slack, listen to them and take advantage of the deals rather than ignoring them. They have to deal with drunk people all night, the rude, the funny, and the random emotional one. Apart from the few little annoying factors, plus the weather in the winter, being a promoter is the best job I have ever done! You get paid a lot more than some do, to stand and talk to people, have fun and party.

A few things a promoter would have seen or heard: • A break-up (normally a screaming fight during the break-up) • Sex on the beach, or a male and female on their way to the beach (we know what you’re doing!)

• A fight (some bigger than others, normally with a huge audience) • A stag do complaining they can’t get in anywhere • A group of boys from London complaining they can’t get in anywhere • A drunk person who has lost all their friends so they stand and

talk to you for an hour!

• Hearing the line: “I’ll go to your club if I get free entry” • Someone asking if the celeb on the flyer is actually going to be there • A competition of who can throw their flyers the furthest • Getting asked for your number • Someone getting arrested or taken home in an ambulance • Underage people asking you to get them into the club (by the way, we’re not going to do it).

@SadeAli

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WHAT’S ON CLUBS 21

>DON’T MISS< WASTED YEARS Whether you want to celebrate the music of your youth from the ‘80s and ‘90s or you’re just young enough not to remember the now recycled ‘retro’ tunes you like, then Wasted Years is a night you must certainly attend.

Pavilion Tavern, Tuesday 16 July, 10.30pm, £3/2

BRIGHTON NOISE

Andy Hinton on this week’s best gigs

4/4 Weekdays are for dancing too, you know. Let DJ Mike Diver take you down into the depths of some commercial and obscure tunes, ready to make your feet move in a lead up to the weekend.

Green Door Store, Thursday 18 July, 11pm, Free

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BORN BAD Spend your Friday night at one of the best club nights in Brighton.

A raucous night of rockabilly and ’50s rock ’n’ roll wild enough to start your weekend with a boppin’ bang.

Komedia, Friday 19 July, 11pm, £6/5, 18+ only CLUB CRIMINAL Remember the days when rock and indie music used to rule the charts?

So does Club Criminal. Get ready for a messy night of classic rock and indie spread over two floors, perfect for drowning out your work day.

Latest Musicbar, Thursday 18 July, 9pm, £3/2

Pic Tom Scrace

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

fter mentioning my hatred of talking at gigs a few weeks ago I've decided to expand on this with a series on our site on Gig Etiquette. My first full-scale rant is on that particular annoyance. Check out the article and we'd welcome any anecdotes on the subject on our Facebook page. What, you don't yet 'like' our Facebook page? Well go to www.facebook.com/brightonnoise to keep up with all the latest gig news.

Tuesday: the rather brilliantly named Com Truise is at The Green Door Store. His electronic music is summed up by Alastair Reid; “Every track is an epic synth odyssey that would befit a Blade Runner opium den”.

Last year they were hyped to a ridiculous extent. New York hipsters Friends are at Coalition and will pack a punch. They’re supported by one of this year’s Great Escape names, No Ceremony//.

The biggest (and loudest) gig of the night will be Canada’s Japandroids at The Haunt. A two piece, their punky noise-pop is very popular with many of the Brighton Noise crew and they are supported by Brighton’s band on the up, The Wytches.

There’s nothing that really stands out until the weekend unless you count crusty heroes (and apparently Brighton’s most successful band Japandroids ever) The Levellers on Friday. Permanent fixtures at every free festival when I was at Uni (and now at the Dome;) I wonder if their encore will be ‘Battle Of The Beanfield’?

Saturday night and there are again three gigs of note. I don't know if anyone else has noticed but there is definitely a grunge revival going on.

Leeds lads Dinosaur Pile Up are of the new breed and are playing at The Hope. San Francisco’s Two Gallants have been plying their trade for a good few years and, after a hiatus, are back with an album that packs a grungetastic punch. They are at Sticky Mike’s.

Akron/Family at The Haunt are a different proposition entirely. Our writer Sarah sums them up: “Their sound revolves around a jam-band ideology that cleverly draws together a sound richly-textured by multi-genre influences, from the aforementioned folk and indie to smoky jazz, experimental rock, grunge and electronica”.

On Monday rising Brighton stars (via Melbourne) Kins are at The Green Door Store.

More info at www.brightonnoise.co.uk

@BrightonNoise

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

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STARS | TV

STARS With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

Avoiding emotional manipulations can be tricky, although some genuine feelings may have been audible amongst the white noise of inflated sentiments. Thankfully Mercury goes direct this week, clearing up misunderstandings.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Communications will be plentiful, exciting and motivating with boisterous Mars hot on Jupiter’s tail. The feelings you share with others will play a big part in the success of important talks, negotiations or meetings. Practise sympathy not anger.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

Your ruler begins his direct motion after a peculiar stint of financial uncertainty and trepidation. You’re well equipped to show adequate competence in the resolution and execution of your purpose, nothing can stop you.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

It won’t be at all surprising if promises made to you or you to others get dropped now that you’re starting to see a little clearer than you were during the Mercury retrograde period.

You can put right anything that was wrong with ease.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

The Full Moon in your opposite sign of Aquarius at the very end of this week is your yearly chance to look into the heart of a relationship matter and strive to readdress the balance. This week is the start of a new phase of enhanced vitality and it’s only the beginning.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

You can really learn a lot about the true nature of relationships as Neptune helps you see that there are many realities which can be perceived as real. Compromise is not the same as giving in. You’re destined to meet a new set of friends.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

With Mercury now in direct motion and a cluster of heavenly hosts gathering at the top of your chart, it’s full steam ahead on the professional front. Do say yes to new opportunities and be ready to take a risk in that regard.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

With concentrated Saturn teaming up with go-getting Mars, the combination is good for achieving strenuous tasks which require a great deal of sustained gusto to get done. Maintaining stability in daily life can be a challenge.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

When you want something to get done, who are going to call?

Taking the initiative leads to great success, while it may be happening in secret, you can be sure it is happening. Love that starts this week is going to have a dramatic impact on you.

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Partners may take centre stage and be all kinds of crazy, but hopefully in a good way! Capricorn needs to surround himself with excitable people so to ensure his success at getting motivated to start things. If a partner is more on the aggressive side of assertive, that’s a short term influence.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

The Full Moon at the end of the week is in your sign. Ta Da!!

Aquarians born in the latter part of January will be most affected. Emotional undercurrents subtly make their way to the surface, remember, if you’re with someone who makes you feel rotten, you can always leave.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

Love is getting interesting, there’s a nice cocktail of passion, excitement and comfort all kind of rolling about the place and making the temperature rise. Emotional drama could play out if someone’s not been playing fair. If you have children, they too may be testing the boundaries.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 816 – 22 JULY the mountain of cigarette ends in his shoe on the bedside table. More than likely they were simply smoked by Ian for kicks as a way to rile him. The scoundrel. Jason is just too clean cut, and so are the people in his world. The lady upon whose elbow With Victoria Nangle he operates (not just brains this one, he’s clever at fixing people in lots of different ways) cannot imagine leaving her husband: “It would be like cutting off a limb” she explains, what with them having got together when they were 14 years old and sharing a life for 30 years. But can you see the goodness she knows is in his heart? Can you, baloney! He comes in like a bull in a china shop. wah ha ha! I have just watched one of the Good thing such complicated long-standing silliest programmes on telly, ever! By day relationship issues can be fixed with a special plan.

Jason is a compassionate, generous, goodI won’t tell you what it is. I’d hate to ruin the natured man who cannot lie. He is good. By night surprise. The point is, people in this world seem he is Ian, a vindictive, petty, violent and dangerous pretty polarised, even if they don’t have an person. He is bad. Oooh! Things could get elaborate personality disorder that’s incredibly complicated... not! For the last five punctual. years Jason has kept Ian at bay I can’t say I didn’t enjoy this, using a concoction of drugs “Do No Harm is because I enjoyed it immensely. I created by his good mate Reuben, also can’t say I’ll be waiting with but on his birthday – the very day indeed very silly, baited breath for the next episode. this series starts on – Ian finds his Sure, there are plenty of lines of immunity to it and breaks through but it does its enquiry set up for me to want to to have his dastardly way. What a Who is the woman from his silly quite well” follow. predicament. Just like the past? Will Jason (or Ian) have situation a certain fellow found anything to do with the nice lady himself in inside a Victorian novel. A certain Dr who offered him birthday drinks before he doubled Jekyll battling with a very naughty Mr Hyde. I’m over like Cinderella hearing her midnight chimes sure I can’t be the first person to think of it. smartly linked up to a severe bout of indigestion?

Gadzooks! – and before you know it there’s more I’m not disinterested in the answers. I just couldn’t exposition and set-up as Jason is clearly the look myself in the eye if I actually made a weekly loveliest neuro-surgeon in the world ever. He goes date with Do No Harm. It’s like that order of a the extra mile. He quite likes a lady colleague, but double bacon cheeseburger with fries, and onion her invitation for drinks can never be. He is doomed rings, and a milkshake, and a massive brownie: as to live a lonely virtuous life, conscious only much as you know it’s a lot of fun, there’s no way between the hours of 8.45am and 8.45pm, trying you could ever admit that it was the evening’s plan to find a way to silence his dark alter ego for good. from the start.

Ta da! And there’s the entire set-up in a nutshell.

Do No Harm, Watch, Monday 22 July 2013 Do No Harm is indeed very silly, but it does its silly quite well. I’m enjoying the hacking smokers’ Follow me: latestvicky cough Jason wakes up with, easily explained by

Telly Talk

Jekyll & Hyde

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tuesday 16 Family Tree BBC2, 10pm From the chaps that brought us Best In Show and This Is Spinal Tap, this gentle family tree mock doc/comedy follows Chris O’Dowd on a genealogy trail that surprises and enchants him. His contemporary family are pretty engaging too, from Michael McKean’s dad in front of the telly to Nina Conti’s lovely loopy sis.

Run Channel 4, 10pm C4 are doing rather well with their series of specially commissioned programmes, and these four inter-connecting stories running over four nights (starting yesterday) certainly keep the quality and pace up.

Tonight illegal immigrant Ying finds herself with an unlikely friend in barber Jamal.

Hidden Killers Of The Victorian Home BBC4, 9pm It’s all very well talking about health and safety gone mad in this day and age, but when steampunk contraptions were in their heyday and everyone wanted the latest gadgets and conveniences – things could get pretty lethal. Dr Suzannah Lipscomb unveils the dangers.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Specials 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Land Girls 2.30 Only Fools And Horses 3.30 Perfection 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless

6.00am This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 The Specials 7.35 Bargain Hunt 8.20 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 9.05 Ice Age Giants 10.05 Rhys Jones’s Wildlife Patrol 10.35 Golf: The Story Of The Open Championship 1992 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Instant Restaurant 1.45 The Weakest Link 2.30 Classic Mastermind 3.00 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 3.45 A Taste Of My Life 4.15 Frozen Planet 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Britain’s Empty Homes Joe Crowley presents the series revealing the potential that vacant properties can offer potential buyers.

7.00 Indian Ocean With Simon Reeve Simon Reeve travels around the edge of the Indian Ocean, in an epic and exotic journey.

8.00 Raymond Blanc: How To Cook Well Raymond explains what happens to food when you cook it different ways.

8.30 The Cruise: A Life At Sea Documentary following the passengers and crew of the Cruise Liner Balmoral.

9.00 The Route Masters: Running London’s Roads In the last decade, Victoria Coach Station has in effect become a new border. This is the story of how one of the oldest parts of London’s transport infrastructure has become the busiest, thanks to the way London has changed.

10.00 Family Tree See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Hunt Vs Lauda: F1’s Greatest Racing Rivals The victory duel for the 1976 Formula 1 Championship has become the stuff of legend.

12.20am Sign Zone: The Apprentice 4.00 L8R Youngers 2 4.40 L8R Youngers 3 5.10 The Charles Dickens Show: Child Labour 5.30 The Charles Dickens Show: Health 5.50 William Whiskerson

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Lunch With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 The Hungry Sailors 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 7.15 According To Jim 7.40 Will And Grace 8.05 Will And Grace 8.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.35 Frasier 10.05 Frasier 10.35 Frasier 11.00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Grand Designs Australia 1.05 FILM: Operation Pacific (1951) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Brendan’s Magical Mystery Tour 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts 10.00 European Tour Golf 12.00pm Challenge Cup Rugby League 2.00 TBA 2.25 LIVE ODI Cricket 10.30 Football Gold 10.45 TBA 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 The Premiership Years 1.30am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 Football Gold 3.45 TBA 4.00 The Premiership Years

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Laurel enlists an unwitting Paddy’s help to find her carjacker.

7.30 Nature’s Newborns Vet Steve Leonard meets some micro piglets and a rare hyena pup, and watches a newborn zebra foal take his first wobbly steps.

8.00 Love Your Garden Alan Titchmarsh and his team come to the rescue of people who need their help in making the most of their outdoor spaces. This week they are in Gloucestershire at the home of Kathy Mason, a remarkable mother of two who has devoted her life to looking after others.

9.00 Robson Green: How The North Was Built The second of two programmes in which Robson Green journeys across the north of England and into its past, to a time when what happened in the north shaped both Britain and the world. Robson focuses on the industries of iron, steel and shipbuilding.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Donny Osmond Piers Morgan joins Donny Osmond in Chicago for a special Life Stories interview.

11.35 In Plain Sight Drama series.

12.25am Jackpot247 3.00 In Plain Sight 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tony tries to summon the courage to put Diane straight.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Ramadan Diaries 8.00 Gok Live: Stripping For Summer Gok Wan surprises women and gives them sensational new holiday looks. His huge outside catwalk show is packed with hot tips on how to look good in the sun, with Gok on hand to show every woman, no matter what size or body shape, how to look fabulous in summer evening wear.

9.00 Princess Diana’s Dresses: The Auction Documentary exploring the story behind some of Princess Diana’s most memorable looks by following the auction of her dresses at Kerry Taylor Auctions in March 2013. Previously unseen archive footage and interviews with style insiders help reveal what motivated Diana’s fashion decisions.

10.00 Run See highlights.

10.55 999: What’s Your Emergency? Documentary series following the emergency services.

12.00am Extreme A & E 1.00 PokerStars.com Caribbean Adventure 1.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 2.20 Sailing: America’s Cup Discovered 2.50 Beach Volleyball FIVB 3.50 Mobil 1 The Grid 4.20 Caterham Motorsport 4.45 Ironman 5.15 FIA GT Series

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Mio Mao 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 The Incredible Hulk Woman: Extraordinary People 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Mystery Woman: Game Time (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Under pressure from Heath and the police, Adam reveals that he filled Brax’s IV drip with potassium.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Monkey Life Series about Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. Orangutan Oshine is introduced to two youngsters.

7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series. Winchmen save a badly injured woman who has broken both her tibia and fibula.

8.00 Gibraltar: Britain In The Sun Observational documentary series following the lives of the natives and expats who live in Gibraltar. The rock prepares for the biggest event of the year: National Day. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama series.

DB and the team investigate the murder of the leader of a team of ghost hunters, who seemed to have got dangerously close to the spirit of a dead serial killer.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Big Brother house.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate.

12.00am CSI: Miami 12.55 SuperCasino 4.00 HouseBusters 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show – Best Of Britain 7.30 EastEnders The speed-dating night turns out to be a success for some of the residents of Albert Square but a nightmare for others.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Arthur is at the top of his class as he becomes an F2, but how will he cope when he has to take charge of Keller? An unusually distracted Jac tries to find out why a past patient has developed complications following her surgery.

9.00 Luther Drama series. Luther must confront his demons when a vigilante killer embarks on a crusade to punish past offenders. Meanwhile the campaign within the force to bring him down knows no bounds, threatening everything Luther holds dear and pushing him to his limits.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... Arts series presented by Alan Yentob.

11.35 FILM: Dirty Pretty Things (2003) Starring Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kriss Dosanjh, Israel Aduramo. Acclaimed drama about a Nigerian doctor and a Turkish maid who find themselves embroiled in the violent trade of human body parts while working in a London hotel.

1.05am Weatherview 1.10 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am The Ashes – Australia’s Best Days 7.00 Friends Life T20 9.00 TBA 9.30 Ashes Memories - Edgbaston 1997 10.00 Friends Life T20 12.00pm TBA 12.30 Ashes Memories – Ben’s Dream Debut 1.00 Friends Life T20 3.00 TBA 3.30 Ashes Memories: Box Office Boxing Day 4.00 Friends Life T20 6.00 Ashes Memories – Brilliant Bichel 6.30 TBA 7.00 LIVE Friends Life T20 10.30 The Ashes – England’s Best Days 12.30am Friends Life T20 2.30 The Ashes – Australia’s Best Days 4.00 Friends Life T20

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football’s Greatest Managers 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Football’s Greatest 9.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm The Premiership Years 2.00 Football’s Greatest 2.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 3.00 Football Gold 3.15 Football Gold 3.30 The Sky Sports Years 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 TBA 6.30 Golfing World 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 Showjumping 10.00 Super League Backchat 10.30 Poker 11.30 TBA 11.45 Sports Unlimited 12.45am TBA 1.00 Football Asia 1.30 Poker 2.30 Golfing World 3.00 V8 Supercars 4.00 V8 Supercars 5.00 Sports Unlimited Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

8.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2) 9.00 NCIS: LA (x4) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2)6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family(x2) 9.00 Starlings 10.00 Arrow (x2) 12.00am Revolution 12.55 Ultimate Road Wars (x3) 3.45 Futurama

7.00pm LIVE: Women’s Euro 2013: Sweden v Italy Or Denmark v Finland 9.30 Live At The Apollo (x2) 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.30 The Call Centre 2.30 Live At The Electric 3.00 Cherry Healey’s Property Virgins

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 South Africa Walks 8.00 Horizon: Global Weirding 9.00 Hidden Killers Of The Victorian Home. See highlights 10.00 Magnificent Machines: The Golden Age Of The British Sports Car 11.00 Madness On Wheels: Rallying’s Craziest Years 12.00am Nelson’s Caribbean Hell

4.10pm The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 You’ve Been Framed (x3) 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen 10.00 The Magaluf Weekender 11.00 Celebrity Juice: The Wanted Special 11.45 Lemon La Vida Loca 12.35am The Big Reunion

9.25am A Touch Of Frost 11.35 Murder, She Wrote 12.35pm The Father Dowling Mysteries 1.35 Heartbeat 2.40 The Royal 3.40 A Touch Of Frost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.50 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 Marchlands 12.05am Prime Suspect

4.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 New Girl 9.30 The Mindy Project 10.00 Happy Endings 10.30 The Cleveland Show 11.00 Rude Tube 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

10.45am FILM: Reach For The Sky (1956) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 SuperScrimpers 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 10.00 The Hoarder Next Door 11.05 Skint 12.10am Seven Wonders Of The Muslim World

11.00am Guns Of Fort Petticoat (1957) 12.40pm A Man Alone (1955) 2.35 Lover Come Back (1961) 4.50 The Drum (1938) 6.45 The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008) 9.00 I Love You Phillip Morris (2009) 10.55 Witness (1985) 1.10am Private Fears In Public Places (2006) 3.40 Close

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wednesday 17 The Apprentice: The Final BBC1, 8pm Two hours of proper jobseeking desperation, jubilation, and just plain frustration as the story arc logically throws hurdles into the paths of the last two candidates. Both after that £250,000 investment and business partnership with Lord Sugar, the final task is here – to launch their businesses. Sink or swim.

Ray Mears’ Close Encounters ITV1, 9pm A brand new series of our intrepid adventurer getting up close and snappy with some of Australia’s most dangerous animals. This first episode kicks off with the saltwater crocodile, sometimes a neighbour that’s just too close during the rainy season in the Northern Territory.

FILM: The Net E4, 8pm 18 years ago and this terrifying thing called ‘the Net’ seemed to be taking over our lives. The future was now, and now was 1995, in which Sandra Bullock was a reclusive computer genius, working ‘remotely’ and stumbling upon a massive online conspiracy that results in having her identity deleted utterly. Yikes!

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Specials 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Land Girls 2.30 Only Fools And Horses 3.30 Perfection 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless

6.00am This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 The Specials 7.35 Bargain Hunt 8.20 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 9.05 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 9.35 Auction Hero 10.35 Golf: The Story Of The Open Championship 1987 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm Instant Restaurant 1.45 The Weakest Link 2.30 Classic Mastermind 3.00 The A To Z Of TV Gardening 3.45 A Taste Of My Life 4.15 Frozen Planet 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Britain’s Empty Homes Joe Crowley presents the series revealing the potential that vacant properties can offer potential buyers.

Joe meets Alison Grant who has bought an abandoned ranger’s cottage in Cuckmere Haven, East Sussex, at auction.

7.00 Indian Ocean With Simon Reeve Simon Reeve travels around the edge of the Indian Ocean.

8.00 Restoration Home Little Naish is a rare survival from a long lost era.

Sitting in the corner of a six acre Victorian walled garden, the gothic tower appears to be directly from the pages of a fairy tale, but it’s currently heading towards a tragic ending.

9.00 The Real White Queen And Her Rivals The Real White Queen and Her Rivals.

10.00 Maxine Peake: Performance, Protest And Peterloo A profile of the awardwinning actress.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Golf: The Open Preview Hazel Irvine presents a look ahead to the Open Championship.

11.50 The Route Masters: Running London’s Roads Series revealing how London’s roads keep moving.

12.50am Sign Zone: Horizon – The Age Of Big Data 4.00 Music Technology 5.00 A Royal Assignment

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Lunch With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 The Hungry Sailors 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.10am Rat Race Dirty Weekend 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 7.15 According To Jim 7.40 Will And Grace 8.05 Will And Grace 8.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.35 Frasier 10.05 Frasier 10.35 Frasier 11.00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Grand Designs Australia 1.05 FILM: Planet Of The Apes (1968) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Brendan’s Magical Mystery Tour 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Esther gets a shock of her life when she visits Nancy.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Ramadan Diaries 8.00 SuperScrimpers: Summertime Special Mrs M and her scrimping team reveal their top money-saving tips on summer essentials.

9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital over a 24-hour period. A staff nurse is bitten and punched by a patient and a father of two comes in after a serious traffic collision.

10.00 Run Drama series weaving together four unconnected people. A recovering addict is torn between his vice and the prospect of being allowed access to his teenage daughter.

10.55 Undercover Boss Dealing with slashed budgets and an inquest into a fire as well as the demands of 300,000 residents, Eleanor Kelly, the CEO of Southwark Council is shocked by what she finds when she goes incognito.

12.00am One Born Every Minute USA 12.55 FILM: Family Business (1989) 2.50 Location, Location, Location 3.45 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.05 Countdown 5.50 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Mio Mao 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Monkey 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Traders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS 3.15 FILM: McBride: The Chameleon Murder (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Feeling that Kyle has usurped him over Tamara, Casey moves out. Marilyn and Jett lose patience with John, who they think is just pretending to be ill.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Emergency Bikers Actionpacked documentary series following the work of emergency bike crews.

8.00 Myra Hindley: The Untold Story Part-dramatised documentary series about the life and crimes of infamous killer Myra Hindley. This programme explores Hindley’s turbulent childhood, the events which led to her fateful meeting with Ian Brady and the start of their relationship.

9.00 Slaughtered At The Murder Hotel Documentary about America’s first recorded serial killer, HH Holmes, who may have killed as many as 200 people inside the Chicago hotel he turned into a production line for murder.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Big Brother house.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate.

12.00am 2013 National Heads-Up Poker Championships 1.00 SuperCasino 4.00 HouseBusters 4.25 House Doctor 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Super League Backchat 9.30 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts 10.30 Golfing World 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Super League Backchat 12.00pm 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts 1.00 Football Asia 1.30 Super League Backchat 2.00 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts 3.00 TBA 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 TBA 10.45 Football Gold 11.00 The Premiership Years 1.00am TBA 1.15 Football Gold 1.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 TBA 2.45 Football Gold 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 The Premiership Years 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Your Money Their Tricks Consumer series in which Nicky Campbell, Sian Williams and Rebecca Wilcox fight back against the companies and industries trying to trick us out of our cash. The team turn the spotlight on holidays, revealing the perils of airport parking and going undercover to expose the truth about holiday hire cars and confusing cabin luggage rules.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 The Apprentice: The Final See highlights 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Wheelers, Dealers And Del Boys Following three independent market traders in South London – the ‘real life Del Boys’ trying to make their fortunes via the pickings of Greasby’s auction house in Tooting. Sifting through lost property, repossessed goods and house clearances, the wheeler dealers dream of discovering the lot that can transform them into millionaires. This time next year – you know the drill. Lovely jubbly.

11.25 Great British Budget Menu Three of Britain’s leading chefs come face-to-face with one of the most pressing issues of our times: food poverty.

12.25am Weatherview 12.30 News

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nihkil is surprised when Gennie encourages him to buy the B&B. Marlon is left reeling when he learns that Laurel pursued her carjacker.

7.30 Coronation Street Fierce Carla bites back when Rob pushes her too far.

8.00 The Zoo Cameras return to the Zoological Society of London to explore the changing role of zoos in the 21st century, the struggle to protect endangered species, and the extraordinary relationships between keepers and their animals. At Whipsnade Zoo, spring brings plenty of newborns, some of which need extra help during their first few weeks.

9.00 Ray Mears’ Close Encounters See highlights.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Brady And Hindley: Possession This documentary to mark the 50th anniversary of the first of the Moors Murders raises new questions about a case whose impact continues to be felt.

11.35 The Dales In Bishopdale, the village of West Burton is home to Clare Gardiner who has grand plans for a new business this summer.

12.00am Jackpot247 3.00 Columbo: Lady In Waiting 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Sky Sports 2 6.00am The Ashes – England’s Best Days 7.00 Friends Life T20 9.00 The Ashes – Australia’s Best Days 10.00 Friends Life T20 12.00pm The Ashes – England’s Best Days 1.00 Friends Life T20 3.00 The Ashes – Australia’s Best Days 4.00 Friends Life T20 6.00 LIVE Friends Life T20 10.00 The Ashes – Australia’s Best Days 12.00am Friends Life T20 2.00 The Ashes – Australia’s Best Days 3.00 Friends Life T20 5.00 The Ashes – Australia’s Best Days

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football’s Greatest Managers 6.30 Football Gold 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Football’s Greatest 9.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm The Premiership Years 2.00 Football’s Greatest 2.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 3.00 Football Gold 3.30 The Sky Sports Years 4.30 Football Gold 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 TBA 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 NFL: Inside The Jaguars 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Inside The PGA Tour 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 Sporting Heroes 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 NFL: Inside The Jaguars 4.00 Sporting Heroes 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

9.00am NCIS: LA (x4) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Mad Dogs 10.00 Royalty Close Up 10.30 Micro Monsters With David Attenborough 11.00 Stella 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Women’s Euro 2013: Highlights 8.00 Licence To Kill 9.00 Diaries Of A Broken Mind 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Football’s Suicide Secret 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.00 The Apprentice: The Final 3.00 The Call Centre

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1978 8.00 Chivalry And Betrayal: The Hundred Years War 9.00 Bought With Love: The Secret History Of British Art Collections 10.00 Some Vicars With Jokes 10.30 The Crow Road 11.35 Heritage! The Battle For Britain’s Past 12.35am Chivalry And Betrayal

4.10pm The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen 10.00 Plebs (x2) 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 12.20am America’s Got Talent (x2)

9.40am A Touch Of Frost 11.40 Murder, She Wrote 12.40pm The Father Dowling Mysteries 1.40 Heartbeat 2.45 The Royal 3.50 A Touch Of Frost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 Marchlands 12.05am A Touch Of Frost

2.00pm Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Charmed 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: The Net (1995). See highlights.

10.15 Rude Tube 11.20 Skins 12.25am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

11.20am FILM: Heaven Knows, Mr Allison (1957) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 SuperScrimpers 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Jamie & Jimmy’s Food Fight Club 10.00 Skint 11.05 Scandal 12.05am Britain: My New Home 1.10 Come Dine With Me

11.00am Millions Like Us (1943) 1.00pm The Great Sioux Massacre (1965) 3.05 Sea Of Sand (1958) 5.05 The Tall Stranger (1957) 6.45 Congo (1995) 8.50 Watchmen Special 9.00 The King’s Speech (2010) 11.20 Greenberg (2010) 1.25am Uzak (2002) 3.40 Close

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thursday 18 The Briefs ITV1, 9pm Not pants – in either interpretation from the title.

This fly-on-the-wall documentary offers unprecedented access into one of the country’s busiest legal aid practices, exploring the cutthroat business of criminal law.

It’s the second two-part series, and serial offender Kyle is accused of burglary and fighting.

First Dates Channel 4, 9pm If all you need is love, isn’t it about time there was a system to make love easier to find? C4 reckons it might have found an answer, as millions of Brits search for that special someone online. Following through first dates, second dates, hits and misses, this covers eight weeks of searching for love.

Scandal More4, 9pm Practical footwear for brush ground aside (see pic – really, stilettos?!), it’s all very busy in the halls of power as Olivia is trying to work out whether the government employee that comes to her is paranoid or a whistleblower. Neither’s good when he’s confirming that Big Brother is watching you, now.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Specials 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Land Girls 2.30 Only Fools And Horses 3.30 Perfection 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 The Specials 7.30 Bargain Hunt 8.15 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 9.00 Golf: The Open Championship

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Lunch With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 The Hungry Sailors 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

8.00pm Indian Ocean With Simon Reeve In a six-part series, Simon Reeve travels around the edge of the Indian Ocean, in an epic and exotic journey that takes him from the paradise islands of the Maldives to the front line of the war against piracy and terror on the streets of Mogadishu.

9.00 Hebrides: Islands On The Edge Ewan McGregor narrates a landmark nature series focusing on the wildlife struggling to survive on the Hebridean Islands. Cameras follow white-tailed eagles, harbour seals, hares, pine martens and shorteared owls as they struggle to raise their families whilst dealing with the biggest storm ever to hit the islands in living memory.

10.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and the team find the comedy in the week’s news with the help of guests Rob Beckett, Ed Byrne and Chris Ramsey.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 A Race Against Time: Hilary Lister’s Round Britain Dream 12.20am Golf: The Open Championship – Highlights 1.05 Sign Zone: South Africa: The Massacre That Changed A Nation 2.05 Sign Zone: Israel: Facing The Future 4.00 Play On! 4.30 Play On! Play On! 5.00 Found 5.15 My Cookery 5.30 The Little Promise 5.45 Ungu’s Dress

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake!

Monkey 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 World’s Busiest Train Station 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Miami 3.15 FILM: Rosamunde Pilcher’s Autumn (2008) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away After Indi creates the opportunity, Sasha and Spencer finally kiss. In an attempt to move on, Leah redecorates her house.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes – England v Australia Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the first day’s play at Lord’s as England take on Australia in the Second Test of the Investec Ashes.

8.00 Cowboy Traders Dom Littlewood and Melinda Messenger expose rogue traders.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector Returns Documentary series. Alex Polizzi returns to the scene of some of her biggest challenges to discover whether the hotels’ fortunes have turned around and whether the owners have continued to follow her advice. Alex revisits the Caspian in Ealing, west London, where she found mother-and-son team Nousha and Samandar fighting to stay in business.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Big Brother house.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate.

12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 HouseBusters 4.25 House Doctor 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Boots ‘n’ All 10.00 Sporting Heroes 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 NFL: Inside The Jaguars 2.00 Sporting Heroes 3.00 TBA 10.30 Football Gold 10.45 TBA 11.00 The Premiership Years 1.00am TBA 1.30 Ringside 2.30 TBA 2.45 Football Gold 3.00 TBA 3.30 The Premiership Years 5.30 TBA 5.45 Football Gold

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show – Best Of Britain 7.30 EastEnders Alfie seeks out Jean’s date to check he is up to scratch. Will he pass the test?

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Britain’s Favourite Supermarket Foods Cherry Healey puts some favourite supermarket staples to the test and uncovers the surprising secrets and unexpected powers of the food that people take for granted.

9.00 Nick And Margaret: We All Pay Your Benefits In an ambitious experiment, Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford want to discover how much benefit is enough to live on and if work is worth it. Four claimants and four taxpayers come face-to-face to explore each other’s lives. In this episode, the experiment is reversed as the claimants spend time with the taxpayers. Getting up early, working alongside them through long shifts and seeing the effects on family life, the claimants get a taste of working life.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Meet The Landlords 11.35 This Week A political review of the week.

12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 BBC News

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things 7.15 According To Jim 7.40 Will And Grace 8.05 Will And Grace 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Frasier 11.00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Grand Designs Australia 1.10 SuperScrimpers 1.25 FILM: Arizona Raiders (1965) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Brendan’s Magical Mystery Tour 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Two old faces return to the village, much to the delight of the Savages.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Ramadan Diaries 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Dr Christian Jessen presents the series examining issues around weight, food and body image. Award-winning baker Julie Menzies swaps diets with fussy eater Zoe Hughes-Blinston. In the USA’s fattest town, Dr Christian discovers how the funeral parlour copes with bigger and bigger bodies.

9.00 First Dates See highlights 10.00 Run Drama series weaving together four unconnected people facing life-changing decisions. Kasia arrived in London full of hope but years later she is still working as a cleaner and dealing with problems created by her boyfriend’s gambling habit. After she discovers he has been attacked, several secrets come to light.

10.55 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital 12.00am Princess Diana’s Dresses: The Auction 1.00 Terror In The Skies 1.55 Channel 4 Dispatches 2.25 Food Unwrapped 2.55 Wild Things 3.30 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.25 Deal Or No Deal 5.20 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 5.25 Countdown

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Bob proposes to Brenda, unaware of just how soon the wedding will be.

7.30 Plan Bee: Tonight Fiona Foster investigates why the number of bees has declined by over half in the last 30 years, and what is being done to tackle this crisis.

8.00 Emmerdale Brenda and Bob finally show their commitment.

Gennie is suspicious of Debbie and Cameron. Sean lets Dan know that he does not approve of Kerry.

8.30 Married To The Job Series following high-ranking female police officers, and the interaction between their work and home life. In this episode, Detective Inspector Kay Lancaster continues the investigation into a ruthless team of criminals who victimise old people living alone. At home, she is steadily adapting to life as a newly single mum and is trying to keep family life on track.

9.00 The Briefs See highlights 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Zoo Cameras return to the Zoological Society of London to explore the changing role of zoos in the 21st century.

11.35 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show.

12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 Plan Bee: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Sky Sports 2 6.00am The Ashes - Australia’s Best Days 7.00 Friends Life T20 9.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 7.00pm Sky Sports News At Seven 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 9.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 1.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football’s Greatest Managers 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Football’s Greatest 9.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm The Premiership Years 2.00 Football’s Greatest 2.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 3.00 Football Gold 3.15 Football Gold 3.30 The Sky Sports Years 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 WWE Vintage 6.00 Ringside 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 12.00am ATP Tour Uncovered 12.30 IAAF Athletix Magazine 1.00 Ringside 2.00 PGA Tour Golf 5.00 Super League Superstars 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

9.00am NCIS: LA (x4) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Greatest Little Britons 10.00 Starlings 11.00 Hawaii Five-0 12.00am Ultimate Road Wars 1.00 Road Wars 2.00 Brit Cops

7.00pm LIVE: Women’s Euro 2013: France v England Or Russia v Spain 10.00 Live At The Electric 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Live At The Electric 1.00 Cuckoo 1.30 Cuckoo 2.00 The Best Dance Film Ever! 2.30 Diaries Of A Broken Mind

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Proms On Four: Orchestras Of The World Bamberg Symphony Orchestra 9.00 The Men Who Built The Liners 10.00 Howzat! Kerry Packer’s War 11.25 Hidden Killers Of The Victorian Home 12.25am Magnificent Machines: The Golden Age Of The British Sports Car

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 FILM: Knocked Up (2007) 11.35 Celebrity Juice 12.20am Fake Reaction

9.40am A Touch Of Frost 11.50 Murder, She Wrote 12.50pm The Father Dowling Mysteries 1.45 Heartbeat 2.45 The Royal 3.45 A Touch Of Frost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 Marchlands 12.05am Those Who Kill 1.35 Faith In The Future

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 Don’t Trust The B— In Apartment 23 9.30 Suburgatory 10.00 Skins 11.05 The IT Crowd (x2) 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 SuperScrimpers 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Scandal. See highlights.

10.00 The Big C 10.35 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.15 Embarrassing Bodies 12.15am Britain: My New Home

11.00am Lights In The Dusk (2006) 12.35pm Tobruk (1966) 2.50 Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 5.00 The Rare Breed (1966) 6.55 Never Been Kissed (1999) 9.00 Season Of The Witch (2010) 10.50 The Firm (1993) 1.50am Together (2000) 4.00 Close

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026_LS627_TV_fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 11/07/2013 15:42 Page 1

friday 19 The Million Pound Drop Channel 4, 9pm Pressure versus smarts. Could you really answer seven tough questions in order – with 100 per cent conviction – and win one million pounds? You’ve just finished a week in the office – after that trial we just know that you could face any challenge!

Maybe. Play along as Davina McCall gets all excited for you.

Big Brother: Live Eviction Channel Five, 9pm Yes, finally it’s hot! Which means that Big Brother housemates have been sun-bathing, and sweltering, and let the heat get to them – yes, they’re most likely sniping and losing patience with what’shis/hername. Will they just not leave?! Tonight they might, as Emma Willis welcomes the latest evictee with a sympathetic ear.

LIVE: Athletics: Diamond League – Monaco BBC3, 7pm No more tennis, Glasto has been and gone, and no Olympics this year. Good thing we’ve got the Diamond League athletics to fixate on now. Gabby Logan provides live coverage from Monaco, with Jessica Ennis and Mo Farah preparing to show us some magic in fierce competition.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Specials 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Land Girls 2.30 Only Fools And Horses 3.30 Perfection 4.15 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless

6.00am Homes Under The Hammer 7.00 The Specials 7.30 Bargain Hunt 8.15 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 9.00 Golf: The Open Championship

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Lunch With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 The Hungry Sailors 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show – Best Of Britain 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Dish Of The Day Nigel Slater returns with a new cookery series, in which he shows how - with a bit of culinary creativity - he turns the contents of his weekly shop into seven delicious dishes, one for every day of the week.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Michael is delighted when he realises he has the upper hand on Janine, but how long will it last?

8.30 Sherlock Contemporary crime drama. Moriarty is back, with the most audacious crime of the century.

But is Sherlock Holmes all he claims to be? With the world against them, Sherlock and John lock horns with their old enemy in one final problem.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon is back in the host’s chair for the sixth series of this comedy panel show. Lee Mack is joined by Alex Jones and Alexander Armstrong, and David Mitchell is joined by Chris Tarrant and Mel Giedroyc.

11.05 Pramface Comedy about two teenagers trying, and often failing, to come to terms with parenthood.

12.05am FILM: Severance (2006) 1.35 Weatherview 1.40 BBC News

8.00pm Celebrity Mastermind 8.30 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. Monty Don makes a start on his new wild flower garden at Longmeadow and at last gets to taste the first new potatoes of the year. He also demonstrates how a radical chop of some border plants now can rejuvenate them for later in the season. Carol Klein celebrates a cottage garden favourite, the foxglove, and Joe Swift drops in on world renowned garden designer, Dan Pearson, to find out what he’s got in store for his new garden.

9.00 The Mating Game – Natural World Special Wildlife documentary.

10.00 QI Stephen Fry hosts the hilarious, mind-expanding quiz in which the aim is to be interesting.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.05 T In The Park Live from Balado, Ally McCrae introduces some of the best music in the middle night of Scotland’s biggest music festival, T In The Park. On the show great performances from the likes of Miles Kane, Paloma Faith and Scotland’s own Frightened Rabbit and Travis.

1.05am Golf: The Open Championship – Highlights Hazel Irvine presents highlights of the second round of the Open Championship from Muirfield.

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 7.15 According To Jim 7.40 Will And Grace 8.05 Will And Grace 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.35 Frasier 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Frasier 11.00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Grand Designs Australia 1.05 FILM: Johnny Guitar (1954) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Brendan’s Magical Mystery Tour 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Dr Browning is horrified by the repercussions of his plan. Patrick lashes out at Maxine.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Ramadan Diaries 8.00 Four Rooms In this edition, the dealers examine a 16th-century silver figure, a rare processional cross and a dress worn by a Lady Gaga waxwork.

9.00 The Million Pound Drop Live See highlights.

10.35 Phoneshop Sitcom set in a mobile phone retailer. A ‘personality greeter’ is added to the staff roster.

A busker vies for Janine’s affections.

Ashley realises his lifelong ambition.

11.10 Phoneshop Sitcom set in a mobile phone retailer. Feeling sidelined and unloved, Christopher is offered a new sales job by headhunter Dean Bisk, while Ashley and Jerwayne find themselves drafted into Razz Prince’s Elite Selling Krew.

11.40 Trojan Donkey Hidden camera comedy sketch show.

12.10am The Million Pound Drop Live 1.35 New Girl 2.00 The Mindy Project 2.20 Accidentally On Purpose 2.45 MESH: Love Tube 2.50 MESH: Lula Fantastic 2.55 The Dish 3.05 Momma’s Boy 3.25 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.20 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 Countdown 5.55 Kirsty’s Homemade Home

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake! Monkey 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Emergency Bikers 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 The Mentalist 3.15 FILM: Deadly Sibling Rivalry (2011) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Sasha and Spencer delay telling Maddy about their relationship. Maddy tries to rally the students after word spreads that Bianca has been demoted.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes – England v Australia Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the second day’s play at Lord’s as England take on Australia in the Second Test of the Investec Ashes. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes.

8.00 World’s Busiest Airport Documentary looking behind the scenes at Hong Kong International, the world’s busiest airport. At peak times a plane takes off or lands every minute, and one fifth of the world’s airfreight passes through its terminals.

9.00 Big Brother: Live Eviction See highlights.

10.30 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate, with special guests.

11.30 Big Brother: Live From The House All the drama and excitement of Big Brother as it happens.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.25 House Doctor 4.50 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge

6.00am Close 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 Super League Superstars 11.00 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts 12.00pm Ringside 1.00 Super Rugby 3.00 Ringside 4.00 Super Rugby 6.00 Football Gold 6.15 Football Gold 6.30 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 Football Gold 10.15 TBA 10.30 The Premiership Years 12.30am Super League 2.30 TBA 2.45 Football Gold 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie is furious when she learns that Chas and Cameron plan to marry.

7.30 Coronation Street Rob puts his money where his mouth is, but will his gamble pay off?

8.00 Harbour Lives Ben Fogle heads out on patrol with a woman who has arguably the best job in the world – running Sandbanks beach.

8.30 Coronation Street Will scared Hayley keep Roy in the dark? Shocked Deirdre confronts Tracy.

9.00 Doc Martin Sleepless nights are taking their toll on Martin and Louisa and tempers are starting to fray. Aunt Ruth has problems of her own - a thief has stolen the hub caps from her car. The thief is identified as Michael Dunwich, who lives with his mother Shirley on a neighbouring farm. Later, Shirley tells Martin about her crippling stomach pains and reveals that she thinks her son is trying to poison her.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Gladiator (2000) Starring Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen. Awardwinning action drama, set in Roman times, about a once-powerful general who is forced to become a gladiator.

1.20am Jackpot247 3.00 Columbo: Blueprint For Murder 4.15 ITV Nightscreen

Sky Sports 2 6.00am The Ashes – Australia’s Best Days 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 9.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 7.00pm Sky Sports News At Seven 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 9.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 1.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football’s Greatest Managers 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Football’s Greatest 9.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 11.55 The Premiership Years 1.55pm Football’s Greatest 2.25 LIVE ODI Cricket 10.30 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 Tight Lines 2.30 PGA Tour Golf 5.30 Thrillseekers

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

8.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2) 9.00 NCIS: LA (x3) 12.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x3) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Revolution 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 11.00 Strike Back: Project Dawn 12.00am Spartacus: Blood And Sand

7.00pm LIVE: Athletics: Diamond League – Monaco. See highlights.

9.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Sweat The Small Stuff 1.00 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2012

7.00pm News 7.30 Proms On Four: Friday Night At The Proms - BBC Philharmonic 9.00 Freddie Mercury: The Great Pretender - Director’s Cut 10.25 Queen Live In Budapest: Hungarian Rhapsody 12.00am How The Brits Rocked America: Go West 12.55 Guitar Heroes On Later... With Jools Holland

2.00pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 4.10 The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills 5.05 The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 8.00 Very Best Of You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 FILM: The Mummy (1999) 11.25 Celebrity Juice 12.15am Plebs (x2)

1.40pm Heartbeat 2.40 The Royal 3.40 A Touch Of Frost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Stephen Tompkinson’s Australian Balloon Adventure 10.00 DCI Banks: Aftermath 11.00 Marchlands 12.05am FILM: The Portrait Of A Lady (1996)

3.00pm Charmed 4.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop III (1993) 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.00am The IT Crowd

10.00am Relocation, Relocation 11.10 FILM: Cocoon: The Return (1988) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 SuperScrimpers 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: An Officer And A Gentleman (1982) 11.30 Father Ted (x2) 12.35am Britain: My New Home

11.00am The Malta Story (1953) 1.05pm The Shepherd Of The Hills (1941) 3.00 The Enemy Below (1957) 4.55 Charlotte Gray (2001) 7.15 Post Grad (2009) 9.00 Salt (2010) 10.55 Super (2010) 12.45am The Foot Fist Way (2006) 2.25 Lake Tahoe (2008) 4.00 Close

thelatest

.TV

City of... Pride

www.thelatest.tv

We follow seven Brighton bosses as they dress up in drag to raise money to fight TB, and Kathy Caton tells us about Transformation

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027_LS637_TV_sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 12/07/2013 13:59 Page 1

saturday 20 Top Of The Lake BBC2, 9.10pm Many things are happening in this mystery drama series. Bunny is after a spot of ‘intimacy’ but without a connection and so follows some unorthodox advice from her guru. Who has a guru?

And Robin briefs the officers assigned to investigate the disappearance of Tui Mitcham on the many suspects.

The Americans ITV1, 9.45pm Your mission, which you must choose to accept, is to stop a German assassin ordered to kill an American scientist – but you don’t know which American scientist, only which project they’re working on, and you’ve no idea who the assassin is or what they look like. It’s no wonder Philip and Elizabeth are annoyed.

FILM: Taken Film4, 9pm ‘How to engineer a second film career as an action hero in your fifties’ is what this should be called. Well done to acclaimed actor Liam Neeson, who admitted that he thought this would be straight-to-video and ended up running, jumping, and saving lives trying to get his daughter back from baddies. Saturday night fun.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Golf: The Open Championship 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 South East Today 12.10 Golf: The Open Championship

6.10 BBC News 6.20 South East Today 6.30 FILM: Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981) Starring Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Wolf Kahler, Denholm Elliott, Paul Freeman, Ronald Lacey, John Rhys-Davies. Action-packed adventure epic in which an intrepid archaeologist tries to beat a band of Nazis to a unique religious relic which is central to their plans for world domination. Ah, Beloq...

8.20 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton presents the quiz show. Also features the lottery draws live from the National Lottery.

9.10 Casualty As the situation in the prison escalates, Tom and Jeff find themselves in danger. Tess treats two young sisters who carry a great burden.

10.00 Mrs Brown’s Boys Comedy series about a loudmouthed Irish matriarch. With Dermot and Maria’s wedding just weeks away, the Brown household is in crisis.

10.30 BBC News 10.50 FILM: Face/Off (1997) Starring John Travolta, Nicolas Cage, Joan Allen, Alessandro Nivola. Action thriller in which an FBI agent agrees to have the face of a captured international terrorist grafted onto his own head in order to discover the location of an enormous bomb.

1.00am FILM: Hooper (1978) 2.35 Weatherview 2.40 BBC News

BBC2

6.35am FILM: Wagon Train (1940) 7.35 FILM: The Big Street (1942) 9.00 A History Of Scotland 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 What To Eat Now 12.00pm The A To Z Of TV Cooking 12.45 University Challenge 1.15 EastEnders 3.10 Wild Shepherdess With Kate Humble 4.10 Flog It! 5.10 Escape To The Country

6.10 Golf: The Open Championship Hazel Irvine presents live coverage of the third round of the Open Championship.

7.40 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Mainwaring’s motley crew is put in charge of a vital telephone line.

8.10 David Starkey’s Music And Monarchy Dr David Starkey reveals how the story of British music was shaped by its monarchy. In this first episode he begins with kings who were also composers – Henry V and Henry VIII – and the golden age of English music they presided over. He discovers how the military and religious ambitions of England’s monarchy made its music the envy of Europe – and then brought it to the brink of destruction – and why British music still owes a huge debt to Queen Elizabeth I. 9.10 Top Of The Lake See highlights.

10.10 QI XL Stephen Fry comes over all indecisive. With Phill Jupitus, Rich Hall, Jimmy Carr and Alan Davies.

10.55 FILM: Strawberry Fields (1998) Starring Suzy Nakamura, James Sie, Chris Tashima. Emotional drama about young Asian-Americans struggling for a sense of culture and identity in the early 1970s.

12.20am Golf: The Open Championship - Highlights 1.05 FILM: Repo Chick (2009)

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Canimals 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Bookaboo 7.20 Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 7.35 The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes 8.00 Gravity Falls 8.25 ITV News 8.30 Dinner Date 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.15 Murder, She Wrote 11.15 Saturday Farm 12.15pm ITV News & Weather 12.25 All Star Mr & Mrs 1.25 The Chase 2.25 All Star Family Fortunes 3.10 FILM: Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone (2001)

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Caterham Motorsport 7.25 Mobil 1 The Grid 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10.00 Frasier 10.30 Frasier 11.10 The Big Bang Theory 11.35 The Big Bang Theory 12.00pm The Simpsons 12.30 Undercover Boss Canada 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 4.10 Come Dine With Me 4.40 Come Dine With Me 5.10 Come Dine With Me 5.45 Come Dine With Me

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents more funny home videos sent in by the public. This episode features wacky women, a cowardly karate kid and a dirty chicken.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill showcases more of the funniest footage filmed by viewers on their camcorders and mobile phones.

7.30 Your Face Sounds Familiar Alesha Dixon and Paddy McGuinness host the fourth instalment of the comedy entertainment series in which six celebrities transform themselves into some of the greatest music superstars of all time.

8.45 All Star Family Fortunes Broadchurch actress Carolyn Pickles and her family compete against EastEnders actor Perry Fenwick, who plays Billy Mitchell, and his family to win thousands of pounds for their chosen charities.

9.45 The Americans See highlights.

10.45 ITV News 11.00 FILM: Jet Li’s Fearless (2006) Starring Jet Li, Betty Sun, Shido Nakamura and Nathan Jones. Martial arts action based on the true story of the legendary Chinese hero Huo Yuan Jia, who seeks to rebuild his reputation after an error of judgment leads to his master’s death.

12.50am Jackpot247 3.00 In Plain Sight 3.40 ITV Nightscreen

6.15 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased competition. It’s the final night in Wakefield and time for hairdresser Francesca Saynor to make her bid for the prize. She hopes her simple menu and back-to-school theme will work.

6.45 Channel 4 News 7.15 Ramadan Diaries 7.20 Grand Designs Kevin McCloud hosts the property building series. A scientist and his new partner hope to build a carbonneutral, wind-powered home.

8.20 The Million Pound Drop Live The final episode of the current series sees Davina McCall at the helm while celebrity duo Radio 1 DJ Greg James and former Dragons Den’ star Hilary Devey try to keep hold of a million pounds in cash for their chosen charity.

10.00 The American Crime thriller.

An American hitman retreats to a rural town in Italy following an attempt on his life, but finds he can trust no one. After a job goes awry in Sweden, he hides out in the Italian countryside taking on one last job to assemble a bespoke gun, but his enemies are closing in.

12.00am FILM: Carriers (2009) 1.35 Britain’s Oldest Stand-Up 2.00 The Fishmonger 2.10 Mesh 2.15 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.25 Deal Or No Deal 5.20 SuperScrimpers 35 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Power Rangers: Samurai 10.35 Batman: The Brave And The Bold 10.55 Inside Hollywood 11.05 Big Brother: Live Eviction 12.30pm The Hotel Inspector Returns 1.30 Cowboy Traders 2.30 CSI: NY 3.25 CSI: NY 4.15 CSI: NY 5.15 FILM: Jesse Stone: Sea Change (2007) 6.55 5 News Weekend 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes – England v Australia Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the third day’s play at Lord’s as England take on Australia in the Second Test of the Investec Ashes. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes.

8.00 NCIS US crime drama series.

The team is involved in an international incident as they investigate the murder of an American petty officer whose body was found aboard a British ship.

8.55 NCIS US crime drama series.

The team investigates the death of a radio DJ and a naval officer who were both killed live on air. Their job is made more difficult by the discovery of a number of different suspects.

9.50 5 News Weekend 10.00 Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Big Brother house.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Psych A panel of experts and psychologists analyse the behaviour of the Big Brother housemates.

12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Nick’s Quest 4.25 Five VOD Make It Big 4.50 Roary The Racing Car 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.10 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

Sky Sports 1 6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Super League 8.30 Live Super Rugby 10.30 Lions Legends: Welsh Wizards 11.00 Super League 1.00pm Super Rugby 3.00 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts 4.00 Sporting Heroes 5.00 Super Rugby 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 TBA 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 TBA 12.45 Football Gold 1.00 Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Football’s Greatest 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

Sky Sports 2 6.00am The Slats & Shane Show: Ashes Memories - Brisbane 1994 6.30 Cricket: The Ashes 7.30 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 8.30 Cricket AM 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 7.00pm Sky Sports News At Seven 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 9.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 1.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Tight Lines 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 World Matchplay Darts: 20 Years Of Blackpool Darts 9.00 Ringside 10.00 WWE: Smackdown 12.00pm WWE: The Bottom Line 1.00 Max Power 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 Ringside 4.00 WWE: Smackdown 6.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 7.00 Super Rugby 9.00 Max Power 10.00 Sporting Greats 10.30 WWE: Late Night Superstars 11.30 WWE NXT 12.30am WWE: Late Night Smackdown 2.30 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 3.30 WWE NXT 4.30 Max Power 5.30 Sporting Greats

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

4.00pm Futurama (x2) 5.00 Diversity In Dublin 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 Micro Monsters With David Attenborough 8.30 Micro Monsters: Behind The Scenes 9.30 An Idiot Abroad 10.30 Revolution 11.30 Strike Back: Project Dawn 12.30am Brit Cops: Law And Disorder 1.30 Cop Squad (x2) 3.30 Road Wars

7.00pm Great TV Mistakes 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 Family Guy: Greatest Freakin’ Griffin (x4) 11.50 American Dad! (x2) 12.35am Live At The Electric 1.05 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 2.00 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2011 3.00 Don’t Call Me Crazy

7.00pm John Sergeant On Tracks Of Empire 8.00 Oceans: Indian Ocean – Coastal Waters 9.00 Wallander 10.25 Southern Rock At The BBC 11.25 Sweet Home Alabama: The Southern Rock Saga 12.25am The Old Grey Whistle Test 1.10 Top Of The Pops: 1978 1.50 Oceans: Indian Ocean

12.20pm FILM: Happy Feet (2006) 2.25 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 3.55 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed!

4.55 FILM: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 7.30 FILM: Mamma Mia! (2008) 9.45 FILM: Deep Blue Sea (1999) 11.55 Lemon La Vida Loca (x3) 1.55am Fake Reaction

6.00am Movies Now 6.10 Barbara 6.35 Murder, She Wrote 7.45 FILM: Carry On Up The Jungle (1970) 9.35 The Royal 10.35 The Royal 11.40 Wycliffe 12.45pm Foyle’s War 2.45 Foyle’s War 4.50 Foyle’s War 6.55 Foyle’s War 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Cold Blood 12.35am Cracker 1.30 Barbara 1.55 ITV3 Nightscreen

2.00pm 90210 3.00 Rules Of Engagement (x5) 5.25 The Mindy Project 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Suburgatory 7.25 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 Happy Endings 9.00 FILM: Dance Flick (2009) 10.40 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.45 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.40am The Cleveland Show 1.10 Shameless

8.55am Time Team (x2) 11.00 FILM: Cheyenne Autumn (1964) 2.05pm River Cottage Bites 2.15 IPC World Athletics Championships 2013 7.00 The Restoration Man 8.00 Japan’s Tsunami: Caught On Camera 9.20 Embarrassing Fat Bodies (x2) 11.30 The Big C 12.05am Japan’s Tsunami Caught On Camera

11.00am Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 1.00pm Phantom Of The Opera (2004) 3.40 Arthur’s Hallowed Ground (1983) 5.15 Horton Hears A Who (2008) 6.55 The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008) 9.00 Taken (2008). See highlights. 10.50 Watchmen (2009) 1.55am Slither (2006) 3.50 Close

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sunday 21 The Secret Life Of Uri Geller BBC2, 9pm Sounding like something out of a far-fetching Hollywood blockbuster, behind the public persona of the spoon-bending mentalist lies the covert life of Geller as a ‘psychic spy’. Really.

Apparently, the very CIA that investigated him all those years ago decided to utilise his talents.

Uri and friends talk about it.

The Returned Channel 4, 9pm Must be pretty odd to be investigating your own death, especially when the general consensus is that you did it to yourself – but this is the task Simon has set for himself.

Camille’s been causing a few ripples in her peaceful surroundings too, and is accused of being harmful to the living.

FILM: Dead Calm ITV3, 11.30pm While you’re fantasising about that dream holiday, hiring a boat with your best beloved, setting out to sea with just the sun, swimming and a good book to distract you – have a look at this 1989 flick starring Sam Neill, Nicole Kidman and Billy Zane, and think again. Low budget, high scares, all in broad daylight.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Morning Live 11.00 Golf: The Open Championship 12.30pm BBC News 12.40 Golf: The Open Championship

7.05am FILM: Split Second (1953) 8.30 Monty Don’s French Gardens 9.30 Gardeners’ World 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 Raymond Blanc: How To Cook Well 12.00pm FILM: Easy Virtue (2008) 1.30 FILM: The Way We Were (1973) 3.25 Coast 3.55 Escape To The Country 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 The Mating Game – Natural World Special

6.00am Jake And The Never Land Pirates 6.15 Jake And The Never Land Pirates 6.25 Poppy Cat 6.40 Poppy Cat 6.50 Canimals 7.00 Canimals 7.10 Bookaboo 7.20 Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 7.35 The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes 8.00 Sonny With A Chance 8.25 ITV News 8.30 Country House Sunday 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.20 Murder, She Wrote 11.20 ITV News & Weather 11.30 Columbo: Any Old Port In A Storm 1.30pm Love Your Garden 2.30 FILM: Dragnet (1987) 4.25 A Touch Of Frost 6.30 ITV News Meridian 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars This week, X Factor favourite Rylan Clark, comedian and impressionist Debra Stephenson and former Dr Who star Colin Baker will need quick wits and nerves of steel if they are to master the mechanical marvel.

8.00 All Star Mr & Mrs Who knows the most about their other half? The couples hoping to win big are actress Sheree Murphy and her husband Harry Kewell, gardener Diarmuid Gavin and his wife Justine, and TV personality and mathematician Johnny Ball and his wife Di. 9.00 Law & Order: UK When a person is found dead in the cells, Sam becomes the main suspect and is suspended. Ronnie and Wes discover the true identity of the culprit but face a race against time for them to get their hands on him.

10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 The Talent Show Story Victoria Wood narrates the documentary series looking back at the history of talent shows on British TV. This final episode lifts the lid on the talent show judges.

11.15 Murder, She Wrote Another murder mystery for sleuthing scribe Jessica Fletcher.

12.10am The Store 2.15 Monk 2.55 Motorsport UK 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 Ironman 7.30 Seen 2 Help Slateman Triathlon 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm The Big Bang Theory 1.00 The Big Bang Theory 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 The Simpsons 2.30 FILM: Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 4.30 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 FILM: The Death And Life Of Charlie St Cloud (2010) 7.25 Channel 4 News 7.55 Ramadan Diaries 8.00 The Plane That Saved Britain Documentary. 2012 Paralympics presenter Arthur Williams presents a love letter to a largely forgotten WWII aeroplane, the De Havilland Mosquito. The wooden-framed bomber was, in 1942, the fastest plane ever produced by the British, making it an important weapon in the Allied bombing campaign over Europe. Williams explores why the secret of of the Mosquito’s success was also its downfall, and why an American millionaire has spent eight years rebuilding one.

9.00 The Returned See highlights.

10.00 FILM: The Fourth Kind (2009) Starring Milla Jovovich, Will Patton, Elias Koteas, Hakeem Kazim and Corey Johnson. Sci-fi thriller in a pseudo-documentary style about sleep-deprived residents of a remote Alaskan town whose experiences suggest alien abduction.

12.00am FILM: White Noise (2004) Paranormal thriller. After the mysterious death of his wife, an architect learns that she is sending cryptic messages through the `white noise’ of his television and radio signals. However, he begins receiving more sinister information too.

1.45 Southland 2.25 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 3.20 Secret Eaters 4.20 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 Countdown

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.40 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.45 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Power Rangers: Samurai 10.35 Batman: The Brave And The Bold 11.00 Inside Hollywood 11.05 Big Brother 12.00pm BB BOTS: Rylan’s Supersized Celebrity Sunday 1.00 FILM: Mermaids (1990) 3.05 FILM: Michael (1997) 5.10 FILM: Disney’s The Kid (2000) 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes – England v Australia Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fourth day’s play at Lord’s as England take on Australia in the Second Test of the Investec Ashes.

8.00 Once Upon A Time Mystery fantasy series by the writers of Lost.

Tragedy strikes on young Snow White’s birthday when her mother falls gravely ill. In New York, Mr Gold is mortally wounded by Hook. In Storybrooke, Mary Margaret and David are determined to stop Rumpelstiltskin’s dagger falling into Cora and Regina’s hands.

8.55 5 News Weekend 9.00 Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Big Brother house, including all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room.

10.00 FILM: Dumb And Dumber (1994) Starring Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Lauren Holly, Teri Garr, Karen Duffy. Slapstick comedy about a pair of idiotic friends who set off on a madcap journey to return a briefcase to its owner.

12.15am Sexters 1.15 SuperCasino 4.00 Nick’s Quest 4.25 Make It Big 4.50 Roary The Racing Car 5.00 Angels Of Jarm 5.05 Hana’s Helpline 5.20 Angels Of Jarm 5.25 Five VOD The Funky Valley Show 5.40 Roary The Racing Car 5.50 Hana’s Helpline

6.00am Football’s Greatest 6.30 Football’s Greatest 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Football’s Greatest 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00pm Gibraltar Darts Trophy 1.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Sporting Greats 5.30 Gibraltar Darts Trophy 6.30 Sporting Greats 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 TBA 11.15 Football Gold 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am Football’s Greatest 12.30 TBA 12.45 Football Gold 1.00 Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Super League Full Time

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind Quiz show 7.30 BBC News 7.50 South East Today 8.00 Countryfile Julia Bradbury and Matt Baker head for Essex, where Julia tests her mettle walking one of the country’s most dangerous footpaths.

9.00 The White Queen Dramatic adaptation of Philippa Gregory’s novels set during the Wars of the Roses. The crown is secure, but there is no peace at court. Elizabeth suffers more emotional turmoil as she loses those closest to her. Margaret Beaufort plans a political marriage to bring Henry home from exile - but has she met her match in Lord Stanley?

10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Nick And Margaret: We All Pay Your Benefits In an ambitious experiment, Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford want to discover how much benefit is enough to live on and if work is worth it. In this second episode, the experiment is reversed as the claimants spend time with the taxpayers.

11.25 Luther Crime drama series.

Luther must confront his demons when a vigilante killer embarks on a crusade to punish past offenders.

12.25am FILM: Night And The City (1992) 2.05 Weatherview 2.10 BBC News

6.30 Indian Ocean With Simon Reeve This stage of Simon Reeve’s journey around the spectacular Indian Ocean takes him from Oman to the Maldives.

7.30 Wild Cameramen At Work Series in which five of the best wildlife cameramen in the world spotlight some of their favourite natural history moments. Narrated by David Attenborough.

8.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine.

Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May bring relief to floodstricken areas of Britain by building a car that can turn into a hovercraft.

9.00 The Secret Life Of Uri Geller See highlights.

10.00 MotoGP MotoGP. 11.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and the team find the comedy in the week’s news with the help of guests Rob Beckett, Ed Byrne and Chris Ramsey.

11.30 What A Load Of Buzzcocks Blur’s Alex James narrates this romp through key years of Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ 17 year run.

12.00am Golf: The Open Championship – Highlights 12.45 Sign Zone: Countryfile 1.40 Sign Zone: Holby City ***Alternative Schedule: Alt sched Women’s Euro*** 1.30 Women’s Euro 2013 4.00 Escape To The Country

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Ashes Memories: Waugh Time 6.30 Cricket: The Ashes 7.30 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 8.30 Cricket Writers On TV 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 7.00pm Sky Sports News At Seven 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 9.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 1.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Football Gold 9.15 Football Gold 9.30 The Premiership Years 11.30 Football Gold 11.45 Football Gold 12.00pm The Premiership Years 2.00 Football Gold 2.15 Football Gold 2.25 Live ODI Cricket 10.30 Super League Full Time 11.30 Super Rugby Try Time 12.00am TBA 1.30 Football Gold 1.45 Football Gold 2.00 PGA Tour Golf 5.00 BWF Badminton Super Series

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

3.00pm Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 4.00 Greggs: More Than Meats The Pie 5.00 Greatest Little Britons 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Futurama (x2) 7.30 Micro Monsters With David Attenborough 8.00 Starlings 9.00 Stella 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 11.00 Cop Squad (x2) 1.00am Brit Cops: Law And Disorder (x2)

7.00pm Women’s Euro 2013: Highlights 8.00 Great Movie Mistakes IV: May The Fourth Be With You 9.00 Family Guy: Greatest Freakin’ Griffin (x2) 10.00 Family Guy (x5) 12.55am Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.55 Live At The Electric 2.25 The Best Dance Film Ever!

2.55 Don’t Call Me Crazy

7.00pm A Poet’s Guide To Britain 7.30 Proms On Four: 20th Century Classics - Les Siecles 9.10 Elizabeth Taylor: Omnibus 10.05 Hollywood’s Lost Screen Goddess: Clara Bow 11.05 Screen Goddesses: Arena 12.05am How The Brits Rocked America: Go West 1.05 Guitar Heroes On Later... With Jools Holland

12.10pm America’s Got Talent 2.00 You’ve Been Framed! Kids Special 2.50 FILM: The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (2008) 5.05 FILM: Star Wars: Episode VI Return Of The Jedi (1983) 7.45 FILM: The Incredible Hulk (2008) 10.00 FILM: Couples Retreat (2009) 12.20am Hell’s Kitchen (x2)

6.35am Murder, She Wrote (x3) 9.35 Heartbeat (x2) 11.40 Foyle’s War 1.45pm The Turn Of The Screw 3.40 Wycliffe 4.50 Foyle’s War 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 FILM: Parenthood (1989) 11.30 FILM: Dead Calm (1989) See highlights.

1.25am Those Who Kill 2.55 Barbara

10.05am Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.40pm Glee 1.35 Charmed 2.35 How I Met Your Mother (x4) 4.30 90210 5.25 The Mindy Project 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 7.30 New Girl 8.00 FILM: The Net (1995) 10.10 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.20 Skins 12.25am Don’t Trust The B—— In Apartment 23

10.00am Superscrimpers: Waste Not Want Not (x3) 11.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 2.15pm IPC World Athletics Championships 2013 7.20 Stephen Fry: Gadget Man 7.55 Come Dine With Me Top 30 10.00 Father Ted 10.35 Father Ted 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am Scandal 1.05 Revelations

11.00am Millions Like Us (1943) 1.00pm Edward Scissorhands (1990) 3.05 Carry On Nurse (1959) 4.45 Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) 6.50 Last Holiday (2006) 9.00 The Karate Kid (2010) 11.45 Ip Man (2008) 1.50am Crush (2001) 4.00 Close

thelatest

.TV

The Hive launch

www.thelatest.tv

Itziar Leighton from City College, interviewed by Frank le Duc, talks about plans to build a Studio School at City College in Brighton.

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monday 22 Long Live Britain BBC1, 9pm BBC1 is doing a big push to make us more healthy. By that we don’t mean a freak show of uber unhealthy people so that you can feel alright ordering the bigger size pizza. Julia Bradbury, Phil Tufnell and Dr Phil Hammond are conducting the nation’s largest ever combined health screening, and doling out good advice too.

Don’t Blame Facebook Channel 4, 10pm The second instalment of the documentary citing the perils and pitfalls of social media – from the not so private photos to what happens when an online troll goes too far. You’ll be upping all of your privacy settings by the time the first ad break comes on.

Before the second one you’ll be unfriending half of your posse.

Burton And Taylor BBC4, 9pm This dramatisation of one of Hollywood’s greatest love stories, between the violet-eyed Elizabeth Taylor and the smouldering man from the valleys Richard Burton, tells the relationship that was played out in front of the world’s media between the actors.

Starring Helena Bonham Carter and Dominic West.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Fake Britain 11.30 Helicopter Heroes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.10 Land Girls 3.00 Only Fools And Horses 4.00 Perfection 4.45 Flog It! 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming A look at the work of high court enforcement officers, also known as sheriffs.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Ian is pushed to breaking point when he is left to run all the businesses on his own.

8.30 Jungle Outlaws: The Chainsaw Trail – Panorama Panorama investigates illegal logging in the rainforest and the timber trail from Africa to West Europe.

9.00 Long Live Britain See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Long Live Britain We return to Manchester, where Julia Bradbury, Phil Tufnell and Dr Phil Hammond are midway through the nation’s biggest ever combined health screening with the aim of saving lives lost to three largely-preventable conditions.

And the three celebrities, Ricky Grover, Jodie Prenger and Crissy Rock – who have all committed to turning their lives around – meet patients who ignored the advice of their doctors, which had alarming consequences for their bodies.

11.20 Live At The Apollo Series of cutting-edge stand-up comedy recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo.

12.05am Weatherview 12.10 News

BBC2

6.05am Homes Under The Hammer 7.05 The Specials 7.35 Bargain Hunt 8.20 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 9.05 TOWN With Nicholas Crane 10.05 The Chef’s Protege 10.35 Click 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm FILM: The Maggie (1954) 1.30 Classic Mastermind 2.30 Triathlon: Hamburg Highlights 4.30 Wild Down Under 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Britain’s Empty Homes Joe Crowley presents the series revealing the potential that vacant properties can offer potential buyers.

7.00 Indian Ocean With Simon Reeve The last leg of Simon Reeve’s journey begins on the northern tip of Sumatra, near the epicentre of the 2004 tsunami, and takes him to the south western corner of Australia.

8.00 University Challenge In the second of the first round matches the students representing St John’s College, Cambridge fight it out against the University of Reading.

8.30 Count Arthur Strong The world of ex-variety star Count Arthur Strong is livened up by the arrival of Michael.

9.00 Rick Stein’s India Tasty treats from further afield.

10.00 What A Load Of Buzzcocks Blur’s Alex James narrates this romp through key years of Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ 17 year run.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Secret Life Of Uri Geller Another chance to catch last night’s documentary.

12.20am Sign Zone: The Apprentice: Why I Fired Them 1.20 Sign Zone: Luther ***Alternative Schedule: Schedule B – Women’s Euro 2013*** 4.30 Women’s Euro 2013

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Lunch With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 The Hungry Sailors 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Tipping Point 5.00 Take On The Twisters

6.00 ITV News Meridian 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Gennie vows to stop Chas from marrying Cameron.

Relations between Victoria and Betty take a turn for the worse.

7.30 Coronation Street Carla realises that Hayley needs a friend.

8.00 The Dales It is all aboard the Wensleydale Railway as general manager Nigel Park and his team of volunteers organise a fundraiser to help reinstate a stretch of disused track.

8.30 Coronation Street Will Hayley finally confide in Roy? 9.00 Long Lost Family Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell present the series which sets out to reunite family members after years of separation. Fifty one-year-old Chris Jones is searching for his sister who he last saw when she was a baby.

Chris has little knowledge about his mother’s past, but knows that his sister was born at a remote Northumbrian vicarage, and that is where he starts looking for clues.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Benidorm Second series of the comedy. Everybody is back at the Solana for more sun, sangria and swinging.

11.05 Monk Crime drama series.

12.00am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 Jeremy Kyle Show

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 7.15 According To Jim 7.40 Will And Grace 8.05 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 9.05 Frasier 9.35 Frasier 10.05 The Big Bang Theory 10.35 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Undercover Boss Canada 12.00pm News 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.05 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites 1.20 FILM: Appointment In London (1953) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jim demands to know what has pushed Dr Browning to extremes.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Ramadan Diaries 8.00 Taliban Child Fighters: Channel 4 Dispatches Current affairs series. Filmmaker Najibullah Quraishi visits the special prisons in Afghanistan where over 200 children are currently being held for crimes including the laying of improvised explosive devices, ambush and the preparation of suicide missions.

8.30 Food Unwrapped Jimmy Doherty, Kate Quilton and Matt Tebbutt lift the lid on what is really in our favourite supermarket products.

9.00 Undercover Boss High-flying company executives go undercover to ensure their businesses are in good shape.

10.00 Don’t Blame Facebook See highlights.

11.05 Random Acts 11.10 Coming Up Series of dramas by emerging talent. Baz lives with his parents and his heavily pregnant wife, Roxy. Not her dream at all.

11.45 Eye Spy Hidden camera reality series, narrated by Stephen Fry. 12.45am First Dates 1.40 Dates 2.10 Dates2.35 Top Boy 3.40 Stonehouse Reunion 3.45 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 4.40 Deal Or No Deal 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Milkshake!

Monkey 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Milkshake!

Show Songs 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Tickety Toc 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Gibraltar: Britain In The Sun 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.15 FILM: The Obsession (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Brax regains consciousness, but Casey believes that everything is Ricky’s fault and will not let her near him.

6.30 NewsTalk Live 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes – England V Australia Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fifth and final day’s play at Lord’s.

8.00 The Gadget Show Action-packed show looking at the latest technology. Rachel Riley and Jason Bradbury eye up the future for camcorders.

9.00 Botched Up Bodies Documentary series featuring the surgeons whose job it is to correct the catastrophes left by dodgy cosmetic surgeons. This first episode follows 49-year-old Stephen Dockrell as he seeks to be free of the huge sack of excess skin left after his gastric bypass. And Scaffolder Darren Mills travelled to Asia in search of perfect teeth but instead got a mangled mouth.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights of all the latest events inside the Big Brother house.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate.

12.00am The Walking Dead 12.55 SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Super League 11.00 Football Gold 11.15 Football Gold 11.30 TBA 1.00pm Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 TBA 7.00 Super League Superstars 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 TBA 10.15 Football Gold 10.30 Great Goals 11.30 Premier League Years 1.30am Darts: World Matchplay 5.30 TBA 5.45 Football Gold

Sky Sports 2 6.00am The Ashes - Australia’s Best Days 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 9.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 6.00pm The Ashes - England’s Best Days 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 9.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 1.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes Verdict

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football’s Greatest Managers 6.30 Football Gold 6.45 Football Gold 7.00 Premier League Years 9.00 Football’s Greatest 9.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Thrillseekers 12.00pm Premier League Years 2.00 Football’s Greatest 2.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 3.00 Football Gold 3.15 Football Gold 3.30 The Sky Sports Years 4.30 Football Gold 4.45 Football Gold 5.00 Premier League Years 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE: Late Night Afterburn 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 WWE From The Vault 4.30 Super League

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

11.00am Futurama (x2) 12.00pm Last Man Standing (x2) 1.00 A League Of Their Own 2.00 Glee 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Modern Family (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Arrow (x2) 11.00 Revolution 12.00am NCIS: LA 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 2.00 Brit Cops

7.00pm Women’s Euro 2013: Quarter-Final 4 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.30 EastEnders 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am The Best Sci-Fi Film Ever! 1.00 Cuckoo (x2) 2.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.30 Live At The Electric 3.00 Don’t Call Me Crazy

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 South Africa Walks 8.00 Britain On Film 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Burton And Taylor. See highlights.

10.30 The Richard Burton Diaries 11.00 Elizabeth Taylor: England’s Other Elizabeth - Omnibus 11.55 Some Vicars With Jokes 12.25am Only Connect 12.55 Bought With Love

5.05pm The Millionaire Matchmaker 6.00 One Direction: Video Exclusive 6.10 You’ve Been Framed! (x3) 8.00 The Xtra Factor: Girls Best & Worst Ever 9.00 FILM: Deep Blue Sea (1999) 11.10 Celebrity Juice: Hunks Special 11.55 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 12.25am FILM: Free Willy 2 (1995)

9.25am A Touch Of Frost 11.40 Murder, She Wrote 12.40pm The Father Dowling Mysteries 1.40 Heartbeat 2.45 The Royal 3.45 A Touch Of Frost 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 11.00 The Jury 12.00am Wycliffe

4.05pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 New Girl 8.30 The Mindy Project 9.00 90210 10.00 Skins 11.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut 11.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.50am Don’t Trust The B——

11.05am FILM: Heaven Knows, Mr Allison (1957) 1.10pm Time Team 2.15 IPC World Athletics Championships 2013 7.20 Superscrimpers 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Escape From Colditz 10.35 The Hoarder Next Door 11.40 Jamie & Jimmy’s Food Fight Club 12.45am Ottolenghi’s Mediterranean Feast

11.00am Lover Come Back (1961) 1.10pm Santa Fe Passage (1954) 3.00 Waterloo Road (1944) 4.35 The Great Sioux Massacre (1965) 6.40 Freedom Writers (2007) 9.00 Robin Hood (2010) 11.45 Ip Man 2 (2010) 1.55am The Disappeared (2008) 3.50 Close

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