Latest 7: No. 589

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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

Latest TV

You’ve seen us online, now watch some of our best shows on a 100 sq ft screen! Brighton’s Big Screen event runs until 12 August.

★ jobs ★ food

★

thelatest.tv

7 – 13 August 2012

FREE WEEKLY

WIN! Luxury products from Rituals LA SENZA Undercover style from Brighton’s hottest new store JEREMY RENNER The Bourne Legacy actor talks fitness, stunts, Matt Damon & Steve McQueen

Natural beauty Ethical beauty buys with the AEOS organic make-up range at Aloka page 13

Best ’ n t s eak in s t s roa n tow

003_LS589_contents_Contents 03/08/2012 13:55 Page 1

2012

CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

NEWS & COMMENT 04 Latest People Brighton’s Big Screen launch and the Rockinghorse Family Fun Day 06 Latest Brighton & Hove News & Jobs Changes for Newhaven and Shoreham harbours; headlines with Phil Mills and Marina security boss Colin Tribe in profile

7–13 AUGUST 2012

>online

>on tv

thelatest.co.uk

thelatest.tv

Struggling for ideas on what to do with the kids this summer? Want to know where the best comedy nights are happening outside of Edinburgh? And when are the biggest names in music coming to Sussex? Plans your days and nights out by logging on now for all the listings of the best events this summer. Listen to homegrown music in the Latest Brighton Download Chart too – it’s time for a new Number One! Log on now: www.thelatest.co.uk

07 Marina Life Creatures From The Deep workshops for kids 12 Snap Shots Arthur Brown’s son, author Julian Wolfendale 12 Competitions Win luxury products from Rituals 14 Bare Cheek Mike Hunter has all the answers; logical jokes 14 Mad Matt The robots are coming!

15 Celeb City Stars on Brighton’s Big Screen, Chris Difford, Sussex showjumper Tina Cook and Adam Ant 16 City Speak Ruby heads to the Games; Tash has a change

11 All the latest homes are on

L7 INTERVIEW

13 On the cover: Aloka Natural beauty: the AEOS organic make-up range 13 La Senza Fashionable and affordable underwear from Churchill Square’s new store 18 Hotlist; Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Steak and wine at The Hove Bank Steak & Ribs

WHAT’S ON 20 Reviews & Bookings; Brighton Download Chart The Fairy Queen reviewed; Festibelly is coming!

22 Latest Previews Ayckbourn double bill, Willy Mason, Paul Zerdin and Disney Pixar’s Brave 26 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes; Lemon La Vida Loca; seven-day TV guide Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless

Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Brighton and Hove will soon have its own terrestrial TV channel which you’ll be able to watch on your TV in your living room and on your laptop or on your mobile. That’s modern democracy. And of course localism, especially news, democracy and political debate, will be a big part of Brighton’s new channel.

Question Time on BBC 1 has proved that political TV need not be boring and we believe The Vote Show on thelatest.tv amplifies this. And how could The Vote be boring? New leader of Brighton and Hove Council, The Green Party’s Cllr Jason Kitcat, has been having a well publicised Twitter feud with Labour’s Chief Whip in The House Of Lords, Lord Steve Bassam. For the first time they debate in person and it’s riveting TV. As if that’s not enough they are joined by one of the greatest debaters in The Conservative Party Cllr Mary Mears, and I don’t just mean in Brighton.

Bill Randall talks about his year in office as first Green council leader while The Treason Show’s Mark Brailsford looks back at the year that was for The Greens. Frank le Duc does the Dimbleby bit and I know I’m biased but I’m hooked! – Bill Smith, MD, Latest TV If you want to be part of Brighton’s TV channel come to our open democratic meetings at Latest MusicBar every Monday at 5.30pm.

Latest TV on the Big Screen

11 Jeremy Renner, star of The Bourne Legacy

LIFESTYLE

The Vote episode 4

Latest TV has been running online for a few years and now you have the chance to see some of our best shows on a 100sq ft screen!

We always said Val Aviv is larger than life! See us at Brighton’s Big Screen (runs until 12 August on Brighton beach next to the West Pier) alongside other great programmes including the Olympics and films such as The Hunger Games.

With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website For details of advertising opportunities with latesthomes.co.uk please contact Lynne Edwards tel: 01273 818150 lynne@thelatest.co.uk

latesthomes.co.uk/brighton

Watch our shows at www.thelatest.tv

www.facebook.com/thelatestbrighton Editor Zara Baker Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess Sub Editors Louise Bevan Chris Dyer Rachel Junior

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Anand Day Andrew Wright Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

Illustrators Paul Lewis Jake McDonald Work experience Holly Cozens

Wedded bliss

01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

For more Planning a wedding? Then don’t miss our wedding special information call Lynne on out 25 September, packed with ideas for venues, dresses, 01273 818150 x112 photographers & more. Don’t say “I do” without it!

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LATEST PEOPLE

latestPEOPLE

Rockinghorse Family Fun Day & Brighton’s Big Screen Launch

Rockinghorse Family Fun Day Rockinghorse held its Family Fun Day on Saturday 28 July on Hove Lawns. The event was held to raise vital funds for the charity which works to make lives better for sick children across Sussex.

Activities on the day included obstacle courses, school sports day games, a treasure hunt, wife/partner carrying races, bouncy castle, tombola, face painting, arts and crafts stalls, and more. www.rockinghorse.org.uk Photos: Diana Frangi

Games

Jay Legate (Latest TV), Analiese Doctrove (Rockinghorse Volunteer), Allie Polhill ( Rockinghorse)

Louise Bartha (Rockinghorse), David Barnett (Rockinghorse Volunteer), Laura Frier ( Rockinghorse)

Brighton’s Big Screen On Friday 27 July, the Olympics opened and guests were able to watch the ceremony from Brighton’s Big Screen which is located next to the West Pier and opposite the Metropole Hotel. The area in front of the screen holds 2,600 people and the beach area was packed to get a view. The Big Screen will continue to broadcast live coverage of the games plus a selection of blockbuster films until Sunday 12 August, from 10am to 10pm daily.

Words & photos: Patrick Kneath

Cllr Bill Randall, Mayor of Brighton & Hove. Cllr Geoffrey Bowden (Cabinet Member for Culture, Recreation & Tourism)

Rekorderlig Cider Bar (sponsors)

Rowan Trangmar (Ballonarcy), Paul Ofei-Kwatia (Rockinghorse), Keira O'Gorman (Ballonarcy)

Games

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06 LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news In brief ■ SKATE PARK FOR THE LEVEL GIVEN BACKING BY PLANNING OFFICIALS A planning application for a sunken concrete skate park at The Level is due to be decided by Brighton and Hove City Council’s Planning Committee tomorrow (Wednesday 8 August). A report to councillors backs the plan for a skate park and associated landscaping, which would be to the north of Rose Walk.

The report says: “The existing skate park, which is sited to the south of Rose Walk, comprises high wooden structures which date from the 1970s, is an unsightly and poorly maintained element of The Level which detracts from the open space and harms the setting of the listed buildings in Richmond Terrace.”

The plans have attracted 70 letters of objection and 157 in support as well as a petition in favour signed by 182 people. The report addresses concerns about the loss of green space by saying more grass will be laid than lost if the skate park is built.

The report goes on to say: “The proposed skate park would provide improved and enhanced skating facilities within the city while providing a better balance overall to the northern half of the park. The proposal, by virtue of design through use of sunken levels and low boundaries, would preserve the historic layout of The Level and would ensure that the traditional open space character is retained.”

■ INVENTOR TO HELP TEDX BRIGHTON CONFERENCE RETURN THIS AUTUMN Marc Koska, the Sussex inventor of the non-reusable syringe, is to organise the second TEDx Brighton conference. The free conference will be held on Friday 26 October at the Corn Exchange when 300 people are expected to attend. Last year 100 people attended the first TEDx Brighton at the Sallis Benney Theatre.

The all-day independently organised event is intended to offer a series of thought-provoking talks lasting from six to eighteen minutes on the theme of the generation gap. It has been licensed by TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design), the organisation behind the global webcast conferences set up to share ideas worth spreading.

Mr Koska, who also set up the Safepoint Trust to educate health workers and the public about safe needle use, said: “TED is a very contemporary and unique forum and to bring it to Brighton in the form of a TEDx is a wonderful challenge. I am looking forward to helping curate an amazing day on the theme of the ‘generation gap’ that will set a new standard in Brighton for vital conversations.”

■ STUDENTS LEAVE GEAR WORTH £4K TO HELP FUND WORK OF YMCA Sussex University students left clothes and electrical goods worth more than £4,000 when they moved out of their campus rooms at the end of the summer term. The university and the Students’ Union have been working together to ensure as much is reused or recycled as possible, minimising the amount destined for landfill.

They gave 25 bags of clothes to Sussex Central YMCA as well as 60 electrical items. The charity aims to sell the goods in its charity shops. It said that the money could fund a week’s emergency accommodation for up to 24 homeless young people or training to help up to eight young people find jobs.

Students packing up for the summer holiday were asked to take their reusable items to designated areas. Becca Melhuish, from the Students’ Union, and Rachael Adari, the university’s support services manager, co-ordinated staff, students and other volunteers as they sorted the donations. Items that may be suitable for new students, such as books, CDs, DVDs and kitchenware, have been kept for a free shop for freshers in September.

PROFILE

Special powers Security boss Colin Tribe aims to ensure Brighton Marina is even safer now that he also patrols as a special constable. Frank le Duc reports

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olin Tribe’s manor is Brighton Marina. The 44required to do the job. He signed up almost three year-old former soldier is the security years ago, went on day release from work to manager for the Brighton Marina Estate complete 150 hours of training and has so far Management Company. But once or twice a week he passed 20 accreditations. They include when and can be found patrolling off site. Since signing up to how to carry out a stop and search, dealing with a be a special constable, he has been trained by road accident and handling violent conflict.

Sussex Police and assigned to the East Brighton Mr Tribe wanted to be in the Royal Military Police, Neighbourhood Policing Team. like his grandfather. He ended up serving in the 1st Mr Tribe has worked at the Marina for 12 years Battalion the Queen’s Regiment – formerly the Royal and manages a core team of a dozen security staff, Sussex Regiment and now the Princess of Wales’s with extra help at weekends Royal Regiment. Becoming and during busy spells. His a special constable has office is open 24 hours a day fulfilled something of a and, among other things, staff “The powers you long-held ambition there monitor the CCTV although he likes his job footage and patrol the site. too much to join the police carry are very When he goes off duty at full-time. privileged. It’s a very work, he can sometimes still “In my day job I’m a be found on site – in uniform manager and when I put serious thing taking – thanks to his new role. my uniform on I go back on He trained as a special the frontline. People say to someone’s liberty” constable under the Employer me, ‘Do you really like Supported Policing Scheme, so going back on the he gets some time off for frontline?’ Yes! It keeps me training and patrolling with Sussex Police. But he young. Security here is low-key and proactive. The aims to match the time off that his bosses give him police role is enhancing it.” by volunteering in his spare time for shifts – and In a few weeks’ time (Sunday 19 August) he will the hours match those of regular officers. be in uniform on Hove Lawns for 999 Day. Among The experience brings benefits all round. Sussex other things Colin will be highlighting the dangers of Police has a volunteer who knows part of his patch ‘tombstoning’ – the practice of jumping from a great – and the people on that patch – incredibly well. He height into water. There has been at least one has also begun to learn the names and faces of incident this summer, although the poor weather some of the people who come into contact with the has probably helped dampen enthusiasm for the police elsewhere in Brighton, making him more risky activity. He’s also visited the Crew Club in vigilant in his day job. And then there’s his Whitehawk and community projects in knowledge of the law.

Moulsecoomb. He said: “We’ve taken a group fishing “I’ve never known so much law in all my life,” he to show them what you can do safely off the arm. said. “Being able to defuse a situation because of We’ve got a lot to offer here and we want people to the law, and what you know, is quite incredible. Of come and appreciate it and to enjoy it safely and course, lifetime experience is valuable too. with respect.

Sometimes you’ve got no choice and you have to “One of the aims of the Marina was to be able to effect an arrest but that’s not always the most give me to the local community. The Marina is very successful outcome. The powers you carry are well looked after by the security team and the very privileged. It’s a very serious thing taking police. When I’m on duty (as a special) invariably someone’s liberty.” it’s not down here but should a problem arise we Special constables have the same powers of can tackle it.” Since becoming a special Colin hasn’t arrest as a full-time police officer. But it takes time had to arrest anyone at the Marina. Not to learn not just the law but the many other skills surprisingly, he’s hoping that it will stay that way. ■

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latest brighton & hove news

7 days of headlines with phil mills Tickets to the Games, The Angel of Mostar, ecoconscious visitors & Preston Street improvements

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righton’s Sally Becker, credited with saving scores of lives in Bosnia, found herself standing alongside the likes of boxing giant Muhammad Ali in a surprise appearance at the spectacular Olympic opening ceremony.

The Angel of Mostar as she became known was chosen to help carry the Olympic flag before it was raised in the stadium. Sally, a goodwill ambassador for Children of Peace and who dodged snipers’ bullets to bring aid into war-torn Bosnia, said she was “incredibly honoured” to carry the flag: “It was the best moment of my life – magical.”

Thousands of locals made it to one Olympic event or another – includng Sussex brothers Finlay, nine, and Ethan, seven, who were photographed by their dad outside the aquatic centre – but not so pleased were Latest 7 readers who were turned down for tickets and were shocked when they watched TV coverage and saw hundreds of seats left empty. Tina Robertson said: “It

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on building a ‘Future City’

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he launch of the 100 sq ft Big Screen on the beach attracted enormous crowds for the Olympics opening ceremony.

Sponsored and set up by two local businesses, the screen has since broadcast a live daily schedule of the Games – at no cost to the council. There’s also a selection of top movies for those looking for a break from sports.

It’s really exciting to have the largest free, outdoor cinema on the south coast here, and it’s a

was very frustrating to think many of those seats were left empty by corporate guests when it was us, the British taxpayers, who paid for the stadia and didn’t get a chance to enjoy it.” What do you think? Email comment@thelatest.co.uk Staying with sport, crowds turned out for the opening of a new skate park in Bexhill Road, Woodingdean, and the Withdean Sports Complex has won £150,000 Olympic legacy (National Lottery) money to replace the running track and install electric start/finish equipment. Phoenix Athletics Club Chairman, Paul Collicut, said: “This is the news that athletes from all the clubs that use Withdean have been crying out for. In this Olympic Year it’s the best news possible for the future of athletics in this great city.” Chris Carter, Chairman of Brighton & Hove City AC, said: “Although the track has been rechipped a couple of times since it was laid in 1980, the year that Brighton & Hove’s Steve Ovett won the Olympic

800 metres, this will be the first time in more than 30 years that it has had a complete re surface.”

In other news, work has started to improve the appearance and pedestrian linkages to Preston Street.

The work includes around £50,000 of improvements to the southern and northern entrances of the street using good design and high quality materials to improve the appearance and pedestrian accessibility.

An online guide to eco Brighton has been launched by green holidays website, Greentraveller.co.uk, in collaboration with the city council’s destination marketing body, VisitBrighton (www.visitbrighton.com /green-brighton). The guide shows visitors how to make the most of the city in a way that has a low environmental impact while having a positive impact on the region’s economy, local communities and surrounding natural landscape.

On the crime front, a 19-year-old man and 16-year-old girl were attacked with a broken bottle in Hove Park. She suffered bruising and the man was cut on an arm. Police were hunting the attacker. And a 63-yearold man was robbed of a laptop at knifepoint in Pavilion Gardens.

Meanwhile, Fr Wilkie Denford from Shoreham will stand trial at Lewes Crown Court later this year charged with sexually abusing two boys more than 20 years ago.

An inquiry is underway into three deaths at Lewes Prison in a month.

Former detective Peter Foster who murdered his wife was found hanged three days after murderer Nathan Vaughan-Jones was found hanged in his cell. Earlier, the body of sex offender Colin Morton was discovered at the prison.

Lastly, and back to the Olympics, under fire Sussex-based security firm G4S is reported to have banned executives from attending hospitality parties during the Games. “Can't think why,” I hear some say.

Were you turned down for Olympic tickets?

comment@thelatest.co.uk

brilliant example of how businesses and technology have come together to boost the economy.

Brighton & Hove is currently developing a bid to become a flagship ‘Future City’ in a nationwide competition to explore how in the future cities can bring together their many systems, through technology and innovation.

If we are successful in the competition, we could receive £24m to make our proposals a reality.

Our bid will illustrate an economic and environmental vision worthy of this diverse and enterprising city. Included in our plans are ways to promote ‘open data’ policies and create smarter

transport systems around the city.

It also squares with our plan to become a ‘One Planet City’. One Planet Living shows how we can reduce our ecological footprint.

Our city already has a great track record of supporting businesses in the environment sector, and we would like to continue to lead the way in new green technologies.

For example the Eco Technology Show is a brilliant example of local passion for creating technologies which promote business opportunities and jobs and protect the environment.

We will be inviting local businesses and communities to get involved, and look forward to submitting our final proposals.

Join the debate on Twitter with the #bhfuturecity tag.

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Marina Life Brighton Marina’s Kirsty Pollard finds creative fun for the kids ooking for fun things for the kids to do in the school holidays then check out Brighton Marina’s Creatures of the Deep FREE make and take Wednesday workshops this August.

Get the kids’ creative juices flowing as they take a dip with creatures under the sea at Same Sky’s free make and take art workshops. There is no need to book – simply drop in!

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These free workshops are a great way to let the children enjoy getting creative. Each week there will be a different sea creature themed workshop.

Creatures of the Deep themed workshops: Wednesday 8th – Crabs Wednesday 15th – Seahorses Wednesday 22nd – Octopus Wednesday 29th – Starfish Where: 7 Mermaid Walk, Waterfront, Brighton Marina, BN2 5WA Times: 11am – 5pm Bring the kids along where they will be able to make their own headdresses, masks or hand held creations, or they can simply give us a helping hand in decorating our gigantic cuttlefish and crab.

These summer workshops are in partnership with award-winning education and charity group Same Sky, the Brighton community art charity that produces high quality arts projects with participation and legacy. They aim to mobilise the imagination, strengthen communities and gladden the heart.

Full details are on the website and entry and parking are absolutely free.

Kirsty Pollard, Brighton Marina’s Marketing and Events Manager kirsty.pollard@x-leisure.co.uk www.brightonmarina.co.uk

www.brightonmarina.co.uk ONE MILE EAST OF BRIGHTON PIER – NO 7 BUS SHOPS BOWLING CINEMA FITNESS HOTEL CASINO BARS RESTAURANTS SAIL FISH DIVE BOAT TRIPS

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the bigissue

Harbour hopes – and plots for the future Huge changes proposed for the ports of Newhaven and Shoreham bode well for Brighton. Frank le Duc reports

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he two ports either side of Brighton and Hove have both spelt out ambitious plans for the future. Both Newhaven and Shoreham councils are keen to revive the working ports and to make better use of land that is no longer needed for harbour-related business. Given the need for new homes and jobs in both port towns as well as in Brighton and Hove, there are grounds for hope. Much though remains to be done.

While those closest to the harbours could be expected to gain most from the fresh optimism and the various plans being prepared, Brighton and Hove ought to benefit too. The city sometimes seems to exist in splendid isolation. Perhaps our physical geography plays its part. It’s nestled between the Downs and the sea and sits hemmed in as part of a bigger coastal conurbation.

Just as it acts as a magnet for tourists, it draws more of our neighbours for work than the reverse, although many thousands commute to London each day. Perhaps the feeling of a place apart reflects the independence granted when the two towns formally combined 15 years ago.

Whatever the reasons, there are encouraging

signs that those leading our city are increasingly willing to talk to our neighbours.

With our need for new homes and jobs high on the agenda, it’s a willingness that makes much sense. Land is in short supply in Brighton and Hove while the plans taking shape in Shoreham and Newhaven – and in Mid Sussex – could benefit from what the city has to offer. Whether it’s skills and training, workers or customers, Brighton and Hove can help Newhaven and Shoreham to grow and improve.

Both ports have recently produced master plans setting out their vision for the future. These have energised developers, other business owners, as well as local politicians and officials.

Some of those people are based in Brighton. The draft City Plan was discussed at a recent event – organised by property firm Centurion – the case for Brighton and Hove to look beyond its borders was well made and the two port towns were a key part of that proposal.

Recent announcements and planning applications are an indication of the extent to which the ports are about to undergo dramatic changes. As we try to strengthen our local

economy and shake off the recession, it is clear that joining a wider conversation about these changes is a must if we are to maximise the mutual benefits.

A NEED TO CONSULT There was a time when a sizeable number of people commuted to Newhaven to work at the harbour and in the surrounding warehouses, workshops and factories. Closures and lay-offs have taken a heavy toll. More than one in eight adults in the town are on some form of Jobseeker’s Allowance. And while some regeneration has taken place, the incinerator saga in particular has created mistrust and discontent. The West Beach closure has also soured public sentiment.

So the recent sale of the Lewes Road Recreation Ground has given rise to mixed emotions. Few want to see open spaces built over when there is so much brownfield land locally.

Some felt that the deal was done too quickly and with too little chance for the public to have their say. But the flipside is the prospect of a hotel and casino being built, with the developer looking to put a water park in the area too.

Round Table Entertainments, a company set up to see through the £350 million project by the Kuwaiti European Holding Company, hopes to create up to 500 jobs. Its proposals are one of a number aimed at making Newhaven more attractive for tourists. Proper consultation has been promised.

Councillor Steve Saunders said: “As one of the district ward councillors for Newhaven Valley I was and still remain disappointed that the residents were unable to be consulted at an earlier stage about the sale of the land at Lewes Road Recreation Ground and the potential loss of such fondly regarded and well-used recreational and amenity land. I am, however, aware of the

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confidentiality requirements of the discussions or animal oils, bio-mass, animal tallow and even between the council and the developers, which old cooking oil. Most of the fuel is expected to be has fostered an air of mistrust. brought to the harbour by sea for a power station “I look forward to fact that which Edgeley hopes to be promised full consultation will operating within two years. occur from now on with The plans tie in with the residents and businesses of port’s other green energy “It is good to see Newhaven and other projects. It recently had solar surrounding areas directly panels fitted to the roof of the some love being affected by the proposals. harbourside Hove Enterprise lavished on These proposals will have both Centre. And the harbour is far-reaching impacts and home to the proposed PortZED Newhaven and opportunities for the residents development. The first version of the town and the district as Shoreham” was rejected for being too big a whole. But Newhaven but the developer, Boho Green, residents must be the ones is working with those living that ultimately decide on nearest the site to try to whether the scheme goes ahead.” reach a compromise. Boho Green also has various Councillor Rob Blackman, the lead member for other green projects in the pipeline which could business, economic development and tourism, involve the creation of jobs at the harbour. said: “We apologise that more information was Access to and from the port is constrained and not forthcoming but it is not uncommon when money has already been spent improving public negotiations are of such a scale and magnitude transport links. Some reconfiguration may be that they have to be kept confidential. In order to possible at the Hove end – one of the sites where secure the developer’s interest in our district we have honoured this and had to move very rapidly.

We hope that residents will understand. We are acting completely within the law and now we are very keen to involve residents. The views of residents and businesses of Newhaven are vital to this project.”

After the Eastside planning decision in May the town’s MP, Norman Baker, said: “To grant planning permission for the Asda site and to refuse the application for the Tesco site may well constitute an error of historic proportions which will have serious long-term consequences for the town.

Newhaven is at a crossroads and the council’s planning committee has chosen absolutely the wrong turning.

“By favouring the Asda site the council will: – Fatally undermine what is left of the town centre in shopping terms.

– Damage the prospects for job creation by allowing housing and retail to be built on longprotected industrial land.

– Divert scarce ‘planning gain’ resources into a dead-end road, pushed by the county council, which the port says it doesn’t want or need.

– Pull the rug out from under the port master plan and so threaten the very future of the port.”

Mr Baker’s unusual and vehement intervention over a planning matter gives an indication of the strong feelings around the way land is developed in the town. It also reinforces the need for a genuine and effective consultation if trust is to be built and the benefits realised in terms of investment and jobs.

CLOSER TO HOME There is already a healthy dialogue taking place over Shoreham Harbour. The current port management team are outward-looking. And since plans by SEEDA – the abolished regional development agency – for 10,000 houses and flats were shelved, hopes of revitalising the area have seemed more grounded and realistic.

Brighton & Hove City Council, Adur District Council and West Sussex County Council have set up a joint project team with a view to attracting jobs as well as building some homes.

Last year the port handled more than two million tonnes of cargo for the first time – a record year despite the recession. Parker Steel’s recently enlarged processing plant has created jobs. Plus Edgeley Green Power has also submitted a £12 million planning application to Adur council for a 32 MW eco-power station at the harbour’s Fishersgate Terminal next to the existing gas-powered facility. The intention is to burn a range of bio-fuels such as vegetable, plant

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housing may well be concentrated. But the planning process for change on such a scale is lengthy and the work would be so costly that the sums would be unlikely to add up. But while we may not end up with ideal solutions, encouragingly the port seems energised and there is a general air of optimism. The revitalisation continues and the pace seems to be picking up. Rodney Lunn, the port chief executive, said recently: “Our business community is thriving.”

Both Newhaven and Shoreham are vying to be the onshore base for energy firm Eon’s Rampion wind farm. Both have marinas for pleasure boats although nothing on the scale of Brighton Marina.

And both have a modest inshore fishing fleet with leisure fishing also catered for. With the port master plans acting as catalysts, both places now have much more going for them. It is good to see some love being lavished on Newhaven and Shoreham and it’s encouraging to think that Brighton and Hove might contribute to, and benefit from, that process. After all, we’re all supposed to be in this together.■

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FRANKTALKING Insight, comment and analysis from the editor of Brighton & Hove News, Frank le Duc

The marriage of true minds

“To take action against her would alienate the Greens from many Christians.”

What is at issue is not, say some Greens, the religious beliefs held by Councillor Summers. They say that she, in common with all Green candidates, signed an undertaking to promote equal rights – a key tenet of party policy.

And her speech and vote breached her undertaking.

Councillor Summers disputes that interpretation of equal rights, she It is unwise to make a martyr of a loyal supporter willWhile almost certainly have looked again at the party’s manifesto at the local and sacrifice party unity over a conscience vote elections. This is the manifesto on which she stood. And while it mentions equalities, it makes no mention of gay marriage. It does, however, promise to tiquette guides may frown on dinner table talk about sex, religion or respect everyone – whatever their beliefs. politics. But all three topics have collided in a row about gay marriage – Councillor Summers is at the heart of a conflict being played out between not between the political parties but within one of them. Green councillor freedom of speech and equalities, over an issue on which the council has no Christina Summers was the only member of Brighton decision-making power. And at a time when the and Hove City Council to vote against a recent motion government had already ended its consultation on the on gay marriage. During the debate she explained that subject. And on a notice of motion. There were six such “To take action her Christian beliefs meant she couldn’t back the motions listed on the most recent council agenda. But motion in support of the government legalising gay they weren’t all debated because it was nearing pub against her would marriage. She does, though, support same sex closing time and the meeting was brought to a close relationships and civil partnerships. “before they all shut”. alienate the Greens Every other member who was present for the vote – Even among gay rights campaigners there has been from many Christians” disagreement over calls for gay marriage. For some, civil Labour, Conservative and Green – backed the motion.

Several said that they disagreed with Councillor partnerships have resolved the issue. After all, they are Summers but respected her opinion and her right to known colloquially as gay marriages. For others, this is express it. But some Green councillors have taken exception and at a party not enough. But when jobs, housing and school standards are uppermost in meeting they voted to hold an “inquiry panel”. As a result she may end up many people’s minds, some are wondering about their party’s focus and being expelled from the Green group. whether the scale of its response is disproportionate.

One party member, while disagreeing with Councillor Summers on the The Greens, like Labour and the Tories, are a broad church. Those running subject of gay marriage, said it was unwise for the Greens to risk the the show would do well to find ways to accommodate their supporters. Not appearance of carrying out a witch hunt. least as the party lacks an overall majority on the council. And when it comes One commentator, the Brighton Politics Blogger, said that any action taken to tolerance and respect, now is the time to walk the walk, not just talk against her “would be wrong, even discriminatory on the grounds of religion the talk. ■ and gender”. The blogger urged the Green Party to “show how mature and follow me on twitter @BHcitynews measured it is as a party” or risk becoming a laughing stock. The blogger said:

E

LATEST INBOX Telly Talk: Respect Your Elders BBC1’s programme Respect Your Elders explored one of the most important decisions we must all make in our lives. Actress June Brown (best known as Dot Cotton in EastEnders) declared her preferences for her end-oflife care and medical treatment, including her choice not to be resuscitated should she stop breathing. A 2011 YouGov survey of over 2,000 people found that over 80 per cent of people felt strongly about what end-of-life

medical treatment they did and didn’t want, yet only 3 per cent of people had recorded this in an Advance Decision form.

An Advance Decision form allows you to record in advance what your treatment preferences would be, in the event that you lose the ability to communicate. The charity Compassion in Dying provides Advance Decision documents free of charge. We also help by providing patients, carers and healthcare professionals with support and advice on end-of-life care via our freephone: 0800 999 2434 (Mon-Fri: 11am – 3pm) Sarah Woottem, Chief Executive, Compassion In Dying, via email

> Have your say To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email comment@thelatest.co.uk You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH In It To Win It I am thrilled to have won The Best of Boban i Marko Markovic Orkestar CD in your recent competition. It is very rhythmic! Thank-you, Ray Mellors, In It To Win It

Rise, the Sussex refuge and domestic abuse charity, is inviting people to run or walk to raise money for Rise. The 8K Undercliff Women’s Run and Family Walk are Rise’s main annual fundraising events.

The Rise 8K Undercliff Walk for Families and the 8K Undercliff Run for Women takes place at the same time on Sunday 7 October 2012. The walk is open to everyone – you can even bring your dog!

For run entry details visit www.riseuk.org.uk Naomi Bos, Communications Officer, Fundraising, Rise UK, via email

011_LS589_interview_011_LS466_interview 02/08/2012 16:11 Page 3

L7 INTERVIEW

11

You filmed The Bourne Legacy in several locations including Canada, South Korea and the Philippines.

Which was the most memorable location?

“I really had a lot of fun in Alberta, Canada just because it was around Christmas time and it was snowing. You don’t really get that in California.

It was really beautiful although I hated putting on the beard.”

How freezing cold were you in those scenes in the snowy mountains?

“It was very cold. The most memorable thing was being in the water at negative temperatures. That was pretty intense. There’s nothing you can do to prepare for it. You just go in and freeze and hope your heart doesn’t stop.”

BOURNE AGAIN

The Bourne Legacy sees sinister governement agencies pulling strings yet again, mixing old faces with a new action star. Jeremy Renner tells all about his recruitment to the Bourne series, self-employment & Steve McQueen

How did this role come to you?

“It came to me in a very Bourne-like way. Someone flew out to Germany where I was shooting Hansel And Gretel. They knocked on my door, handed me a script and said, ‘When you’re done with it, call this number...’ It was very spy-like. So I read it, loved it, and thought I’d be an idiot not to do it.”

Did you have any qualms about doing this role given that you know Matt Damon who played Jason Bourne in the previous films?

“The only qualm would have been if I was being asked to play Jason Bourne. So, it was really easy because I’m not. Now that the trailers are out you get the idea of what the film is about.”

Who is your character, Aaron Cross?

“At his basic, Aaron Cross is a guy that wanted to belong. He’s a guy who wants to fit in and be a part of something. He’s completely the opposite of who Jason Bourne was. Bourne was just trying to find out who the hell he was, but this Aaron Cross knows exactly who he is. He knows what he wants to do and that’s being a part of this team.”

You have an amazing motorbike chase scene in Manila with Rachel Weisz clinging on for dear life.

How did you prepare?

“To prepare, I had to get used to that motorcycle.

Can you talk about your new production company, The Combine?

“It’s a great way for me to be creative from a different perspective. Instead of just being the painter, painting the house, now I’m a guy contracting the house. That’s what producing a movie is like, having a little bit more say in the matter. On jobs, I tend to take on more work than necessary anyway. I’m not just an actor who comes in. I consider everything and I really like cinema and movies. The Combine allows me to aggregate some people who I think are really talented and am crazy about. Then they can make movies that the studio won’t make or maybe they make one of those a year. I think there’s a great pipeline for amazing cinema like The Hurt Locker or The Town or films that aren’t $150 million massive franchises where you put on some tights and need CGI to be made. I’m willing to put in the legwork for it.”

You plan to star in and produce a Steve McQueen biopic. Was he an idol to you growing up?

“I think he’s an icon. I was never really a crazy rabid fan by any means, but I certainly have seen quite a few of his movies. I just thought he was a really interesting guy and interesting to explore.

It’s an honour to explore his journey.”

What makes him so iconic?

“I think the things we know about him are only just the backdrop to who he is as a person. He’s a walking dichotomy. He’s the most generous and giving and at the same time he’s the most stingy and frugal. He’s constantly the polar opposite of himself. His upbringing was also really interesting. I can’t wait to jump into this project.”

It’s an on-road, off-road bike Are you still renovating “You just go in and which is a different way to houses? ride than the street bikes “Yes. I’m doing one now. It’s freeze and hope your that I’m used to. It’s the been a part of my life for a opposite of almost long time and I don’t plan on heart doesn’t stop” everything I’ve ever ridden. I giving it up. I really, really had to get used to that bike enjoy doing it. It’s a tangible and then having someone on thing, one of the few things the back riding with me. If it was just me, I would that I do in life that will still exist after the movies have taken a few more risks but when I’m are gone. These are homes and lifestyles that I responsible for the person on the back, it’s a help provide for people.” different thing. I just had to demonstrate due diligence and get used to that bike as much as I Is it hard to part with these houses after you’ve could.” put so much love and care into them? Do you get emotionally attached to them?

We see you doing a scene where you’re “It’s like having a dog. You’re not a dog-owner; you practically walking up a vertical wall. How many don’t own the dog. You provide a nice lifestyle for takes did you do? that dog to live as long as it’s supposed to live, but “It was a lot of work. That was a fun, tough scene. you don’t own it. To me, it’s the same with children.

We had to do that about 20 times or so. It got You don’t own your children. You want to give them exhausting. I think they ended up using the the tools to succeed in life. Then they grow up and second take.” you give them the other tools to make it through life. You’re done parenting at that point, at least in Were you in the best shape of your life for this or my eyes. It’s the same thing with a house or for your role as Hawkeye in the recent film, anything else. You don’t own anything. You’re just Avengers: Assemble? lucky enough to share experiences together.”

“They’re kind of tied together as one right after another. I was probably in even better shape for The Bourne Legacy is released 13 August Aaron because I just had more time to train.”

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

012_LS589_snapshots-comps _Editorial 02/08/2012 09:41 Page 2

12 SNAP SHOTS

Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Arthur Brown’s son, author Julian Wolfendale

“

I traced Arthur first through the adoption agency, which took a couple of months as there was no internet then. I wrote him a letter saying I would understand if he didn’t want any contact. He was very glad I had finally tracked him down. We met and I was stunned that there stood not only my father, but he was ‘crazy’ Arthur Brown, known to the world as ‘The God of Hellfire’ and the king of the hippies. I told him who I was, we looked at each other and cried. I didn’t know what to say, or even what to call him. It didn’t matter.

I have his eyes.

”

Julian Wolfendale’s book, Damaged Goods, is his life story and how he met his biological father at the age of 30, ‘God of Hellfire’ Arthur Brown. Julian was given up at birth, then adopted and went through a tough childhood.

With music and topical references from the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s, this story will have you reaching for your record collection.

Damaged Goods is available to download on Kindle and from www.amazon.co.uk

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

COMPETITIONS

Set Three: Detox & Balance Detox the body and soul with Himalaya Clay Pure Detox Body clay; Yogi Flow shower foam with sweet almond oil to restore the skin’s moisture; Himalaya Wisdom ultra softening and cooling body scrub, and Shanti Chakra body oil, which contains a blend of natural oils to nourish and balance the skin.

RITUALS BEAUTY PRODUCTS To celebrate the recent opening of the new luxury Rituals store on 28/29 Duke Street, Brighton, we have three gorgeous sets of spa goodies to give away to three lucky readers.

Set One: Hammam Heaven Bathing beauties will love this set: the Hammam Happiness Volume and Shine shampoo and conditioner stimulates hair follicles to give strength and volume; the Delight Shower Gel has a unique gel-to-foam formula; the Touch of Hammam Whipped Body Cream leaves skin silky soft and the Heavenly Hammam Bath Oil relaxes the body.

Set Two: Rest & Relaxation For those who like to pamper themselves, set two is perfect. Contains: Yin Calming Bed and Body Mist to promote restful sleep and meditation; Wai Wang Body Scrub to remove dead skin cells and boost circulation; T'ai Chi Shower Gel with green tea for an intense calming effect and Mei Dao Body Cream for silky soft skin.

To be in with a chance of winning one of the three sets of Rituals beauty products, just tell us: Q. What street is the new Brighton Rituals store on?

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,

EMAIL competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email.

Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 20 August 2012.

013_LS589_aloka la senza_011_LS466_interview 03/08/2012 14:09 Page 2

ALOKA 13

We’re made up, naturally Indulge in ethical beauty with the new, organic make-up range at Aloka

T

he award-winning Aloka Quality Of Life Centre on Brighton’s East Street has established itself as the south coast’s foremost wellbeing centre, dedicated to providing physical, mental, emotional and spiritual nourishment. With three spacious treatment rooms, a studio for yoga and workshops, a crystal and cosmetics shop, a fantastic vegan café and an exclusively vegan and ‘raw’ restaurant, the centre is designed using natural and organic materials to create a feeling of peace and harmony from the moment you walk through the door.

Aloka also stocks an exclusive range of organic beauty products created by their parent company Aura-Soma® products which includes the AEOS (Active Energised Organic Skincare) range and Pegasus fragrances. This month, they are excited to unveil a beauty first; the completely natural, organic AEOS make-up range.

Unique to natural and organic beauty products, AEOS make-up contains biodynamic spelt oil grown and harvested on the Aura-Soma Demeter-certified biodynamic farm in Lincolnshire. Spelt is an

on t

ancient cousin of modern wheat and is bursting with vitamins and proteins, is rich in natural Vitamin E and essential fatty acids, with excellent antioxidant, moisturising and regenerative properties.

Destined to become a beauty editor’s favourite, this exceptional range of make-up is both aesthetically beautiful – creating a smooth, flawless finish – and beautifully ethical. Every product works in harmony with the natural function of the skin, and the environment, maintaining the ethical principles central to the AEOS brand.

The vibrant colours of the AEOS make-up range are made using raw materials – recognised by

covehre

leading Organic Certification bodies – obtained from naturally occurring substances in the earth.

Used since ancient times, these materials are both safe and effective.

Priced between £9.99 and £20.99, the AEOS range includes an illuminator, concealers, pressed and liquid foundation, loose powders, crème to powder blush, mineral eye colour, eye liner, mascara, lip tint, lip gloss and lip balm.

Aloka is a wonderful venue for a relaxing spa treatment, a rejuvenating yoga class or an awardwinning meal and glass of chilled organic wine in the café or restaurant. Alternatively, pop in to sample a biodynamic coffee or smoothie and pick up your AEOS make-up fix – the choice is yours!

Aloka, 14 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HP, 01273 823178, www.aloka.aura-soma.net

á à { z | Ä x w Ü x hÇwxÜvÉä Update your underwear drawer at La Senza’s new Brighton store

Hello Sugar bra

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a Senza offers women a unique shopping experience with outstanding lingerie presentation in a beautiful and intimate environment, featuring everything from bras and knickers to sleepwear, loungewear, bodycare, and accessories.

Shop this season’s hottest lingerie collections in store now, whether you want to update your lingerie drawer or invest in one bra that you can wear for every occasion.

Meet this season’s must have: the Multiway Strapless, a bra that can be worn four ways ensuring you never have a bra dilemma again.

La Senza is the fashion destination for the hottest trends in bras, knickers and playfully sexy lingerie at guilt-free prices. Shop in the new Churchill Square store now to find this season’s hottest offers!

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14 ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek

In & Out

Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

WHAT WAS THAT? Can't remember the name of a book, TV show, or movie from yesteryear?

Mike Hunter is the man with the answers Dear Mike, I hope you can help me with this, as it’s driving me absolutely potty. As a school child in England I would play a sport out on the playing fields by the school. Now, this game wasn’t football, or rugby. It did involve a ball, but a small, hard red-coloured one.

LOGICAL

MORE RATIONAL RIB TICKLERS Q: Where do policeman live?

A: In perfectly ordinary streets although, for obvious reasons, their addresses are not made available to the public.

change to a high-fibre diet soon solved his medical issues.

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?

A: Migration.

Q: What do hedgehogs have for lunch?

A: Insects.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

A course of Miralax and a

SPECIAL “HUMOROUSLY UNLIKELY CANDIDATES FOR MUSICAL ADAPTATION” EDITION

In top of them with a sort of wooden “bat”, while the other team endeavoured (also one man at a time) to hit the aforementioned sticks with the ball. If the man with the “bat” hit the ball far enough away, he would attempt to “run” between the wooden sticks and another group of sticks a short distance away.

If the ball was hit in the air and a member of the opposing team caught it, the player with the bat was “out” and had to go and sit down furiously angry while pretending to be a good sport about it.

The only other thing I can think of was that we dressed in white to play the game, odd as this sounds, with sort of “pads” tied around the knees of the fellow with the bat, who also wore a codpiece.

Please help. I currently live in Arizona, where this game is nowhere to be seen. I’d love to play it over here or even set up a team, but all my queries and research have been to no avail.

Yours in hope, Stephen Callaghan Glendale, Arizona Dear Stephen.

Owzat! Yes, you’ve nothing to worry about; I’m an “all rounder” when it

Mad Matt

• Ai No Korîda • The Man With The X-Ray Eyes • Magnum Force • A Bouquet of Barbed Wire • Ice Station Zebra

Out

• The Dirty Dozen • Brokeback Mountain • The Parallax View • The Triumph of The Will • The Plank

comes to answering queries like this. You may have thought this would be a “sticky wicket” for me, and that I’d be “out for a duck”, or even that you’d “bowled me a googly”, but actually I've “hit this one for six.” Yes, the game in question is, of course, Real Tennis.

Good luck with your team, and everyone else please keep those letters flooding in.

Mike XX

Autonomaphobia Autonomaphobia

Matt Whistler paints a picture

Q

uestion: what do triangular wooden houses, stone skimming competitions and temporary curtains made from dishevelled fairy lights all have in common?

Answer: absolutely nothing except for a typical week in my pool of chaos that every now and then needs levelling out with fruit and nut loaf with crushed banana and a smattering of syrup. The robots have been creeping back into my life; I’ve just polished off a 100 x 100 robot on canvas with nail varnish.

In order to complete such an undertaking, I needed no distractions from domesticated life so I set my new Street wombled Robo Mop onto 1hr 3O minutes to clean the kitchen floor, while painting in such a

way that the fumes from the varnish didn’t levitate me into a disturbing stratosphere.

The Olympsquids is well underway, I can’t believe cheese Samurai with grass blades didn't take off. The Murray Media Big Screen on Brighton seafront is a crackin’ idea, maybe I will accidentally on purpose swap the DVD for a little snifter of Whistler palava.

Pic: Annie Agnise

Ooooh me back!

8

JOKE CORNER

I’ll try to explain in more detail: we divided up into two teams of 11, and it was the job of each team (one man at a time) to protect these three small wooden sticks with another stick balanced on

8

014_LS589_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 02/08/2012 15:24 Page 2

Read Matt’s full blog at www.facebook.com/ mattwhistlerbrighton

015_LS589_celebcity_Celebcity 03/08/2012 11:36 Page 2

CELEBCITY

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

15

Queen Elizabeth, a piano-playing Mr Bean and a whole host of dancing nurses. The Olympic rings showered silver and gold sparks over the huge arena, which evolved from an idyllic countryside scene to a high-powered industrial hub in front of thousands of eager spectators’ eyes.

Howard Eaton himself also said that his firm had made an ‘iconic item’ for the closing ceremony – keep an eye out!

Chris Difford

year-long fundraising programme, promoted by St Peter’s Church Firle PCC with kind permission of Lord Gage. Get down to Firle Place Riding School on Saturday 1 September.

Tickets are £35 or £50 VIP (includes superior front seating, waitress service and backstage intros) online at www.chrisdiffordstores.myshopify.com or from Union Music Store, Lewes or Firle Village Stores or The Ram Inn, Firle.

SUSSEX OLYMPIAN

On the Big Screen T

he Hollywood stars have been coming to Brighton beach recently by way of Brighton’s Big Screen. The 100 square ft LED screen landed by the West Pier on Friday 27 July and is set to stay till Sunday 12 August.

The screen runs from 10am–10pm, to broadcast live coverage of the Games plus a selection of free blockbuster movies. Toy Story, Grease, Finding Nemo and Back To The Future are still on the bill – with the people’s choice film to be announced.

FIRLE MUSIC

It’s cool for cats. On Saturday 1 September the unique Downland village of Firle will echo to the wonderful words and music of Chris Difford, co-founder, musician and lyricist of the legendary group Squeeze and his super-talented friends: Matt Deighton, Ed Harcourt, Boo Hewerdine, Chris Holland, Mark Nevin and Kathryn Williams plus DJ Russ Dewbury. Starting at 8pm and

going on until midnight, Firle In Music promises to be an ‘Indian Summer’ (we hope) evening absolutely not to be missed. Local and special ales will be served together with wines and a hugely tasty selection of food prepared by local foodie experts.

Then, after enjoying the music, you can simply dance the night away to Brighton Jazz Rooms sensation Russ Dewbury. The event aims to raise money for Firle Church as part of a

Now that sport is the new rock ‘n’ roll, Sussex had to get involved with its own superstar. Roll up Tina Cook, the showjumper who helped win Silver at home along with the threeday eventing team. Alongside British royalty, Zara Phillips, and 51-yearold Mary King, Cook was cheered on by her local pub, The Gunn Inn in Findon. We couldn’t be more proud of the Sussex born Olympian – well done Tina.

LEWES LIGHTS

That’s not where Brighton’s Olympics links end however, with the iconic rings of the fantastic Opening Ceremony being forged by a local Lewes firm. Howard Eaton Lighting provided the crowning glory to the Danny Boyle directed spectacle, which had also seen a parachuting

SPOTTED!

James Kend Leslie Goddar all spotted Stuart d, Adam and th AKA Adam Ant from stroll around e Ants fame, taking a Br Wearing a a fla ighton’s North Laine. all but obligatt cap, bandana and – ory – pirate ju mper, Adam was happ y to chat to passer stop and s-by.

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

follow me on twitter

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016_LS589_cityspeak_Editorial 03/08/2012 13:26 Page 2

16

CITY SPEAK

Teen Spirit

Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw gets into the summer athletics

I

am trying to work up some much Twenty Twelve but I was enthusiasm for the Olympics really nervous about our but the weather is making this contribution). very difficult.

Early the next morning I When you read this column, I travelled up to London for the first shall already have been up there, of three days of watching the enjoying the Equestrian Eventing in international stars of the horse Greenwich Park. world.

I have watched horses I also have a ticket to watch the competing three times this year synchronised swimming with – Ardingly, Windsor and Hickstead daughter C. I am always annoyed – and each time the poor horses with those who snigger when this have been slithering and sliding in sport is mentioned. C did it for a mud and I have been soaked few years as a child and it takes through to my strength, knickers. I do stamina and hope this won’t courage. (If you “Synchronised be the case don’t believe me this time. try swimming a swimming takes The arrival of length of the King the torch to Hove strength, stamina Alfred pool and Brighton was next and courage. I am underwater of course the time you are official local there). countdown to the always annoyed by Last of all I am Games. I did not going up with those who snigger” have a ticket but some RDA friends was lucky one day to watch enough to have a the Paralympics friend with a flat overlooking Hove Dressage. I popped up to Hickstead Cricket Ground who fell for my bait a few weeks ago to see the when I suggested it would be lovely disabled riders competing in trials for her to have friends round that prior to selection for the evening. It was admirable the way Paralympics. These riders are the torch was welcomed with such tremendously inspiring. One girl enthusiasm by a big crowd despite who was blind completed a difficult the cold and grey drizzly evening. test perfectly, the only assistance I invited friends to my house to being a man calling out the letters watch the Opening Ceremony which as she arrived at them. I used to we all hoped was going to be the have problems remembering a test UK’s exciting answer to Beijing. with full sight and with someone (Maybe I’ve been watching too reading it out for me...

Latest Blogs Read all these and more, now online at www.thelatest.co.uk Julie Hayward – A trip with a blast from the past: “I’m in a panic, I’ve booked a trip to Israel in September and I’ll be seeing an old flame while there. Having nearly dislocated my shoulder trying to hoist up my ‘support and hold everything in within an inch of its life’ tights this morning, I've come to the realisation that I’ve let myself go...”

Sussex Wildlife Trust – Nikki Hills on the Pirates of Pebsham: “Will it rain? Will it be too windy to put up the marquee? These were the questions running through our minds in the weeks leading up to the Pirates at Pebsham event. In the end the only questions were: ‘How can we get more shade?’ and ‘How are we going to stop the pirate treasure (chocolate coins) from melting?’”

Café Dharma – Anna Doyle provides a café lover’s take on the meaning of life while enjoying a cuppa: “I’ve worked out that I tend to go in the opposite direction to the masses. You’ll find me in the shops and quirky streets of Brighton when the crowds are down on the beach leaving town relatively quiet. Or I’ll be down on the seafront enjoying the calm of the empty promenade on an unseasonally overcast day.”

Brighton Ramblings – Brighton mum Katy Wayne plans the family holiday: “Can’t believe we’re in August already; still a whole lot of blog posts left to write...

The day got off to a miserable start when I discovered that a hefty monthly loan repayment I’ve been making for the past four

Tasha Dhanraj has a change

I

have moved my bed from one remember stuff – well, a far less side of the room to the other. I permanent, less depressing know. Groundbreaking stuff. It version at least. I have plastered might not be worthy of the front my room in little ways for me to cover of The Sun, but I am stunned remember the events that made at how much this small step has me happy. changed the entire look of my But let’s face it; posters of bedroom. It feels smaller, more famous people you’ve never met fashionable, but most terrifying of being used as decoration are all – more grown up. staples of being a teenager. When Once I moved my bed, I you’re an angst-ridden adolescent suddenly felt that all my posters with self-inflicted loneliness and a and flyers that smothered my wall desperate desire to be different were juvenile. from everyone While I else, it’s things appreciate that like our “It feels smaller, no matter how bedroom walls minimalist you give us more fashionable, but that are with your power to show bedroom, it ‘true self’ in most terrifying of all – our always says a a safe way, lot about you along with more grown up” as a person – listening to do I really want Keane, wearing anyone who a lot of black enters my room to instantly know and writing in a diary. that I like Donny Osmond, have I’d love to conclude this with seen Jimmy Carr live more times some sweeping statement about than I’ve met certain relatives and how, despite all this, I kept all my once got a certificate in PE that I’m flyers and posters up, because way too proud of? they reminded me of so many But then again – why not? good things that they made my Every flyer on my wall, every room the sanctuary that every ticket stub taped to the frame of bedroom should be. Unfortunately, my mirror and every fraying poster I’ve had to accept that truthfully I on my ceiling tells a story of a gig am too old for them. The version of that I saw, or something I played a me that needed to express myself part in and am proud of, or a song on my walls in order to feel at that meant something to me. In a home is gone. I am older, I am way, my room is like the film more confident and I have far Memento where a guy tattoos better taste when it comes to things all over his body to interior design.

years had its final payment today. I thought it had finished last month and I would have my holiday money all sorted and a generally happier bank balance. I should have known better. I am terrible with money and am only a teeny bit in control of it due to the spreadsheet the husband staples to my forehead on a regular basis.

Guess our upcoming holiday will involve ‘le overdraft’ after all.”

LV Loves – JBPR’s Lisa on the sparks in a relationship: “Obviously the Peter Andre show isn’t the most thought provoking of shows and it’s not intending to be either, but a chat Pete had with his friend and road manager Carl got me thinking...”

Clash Daddy – Latest 7’s music editor Jeff Hemmings on Jools Holland: You probably won’t recall

this but Holland’s first work as a ‘session’ musician involved working on a track by the legendary Wayne County & The Electric Chairs in 1976 on a track called F*** Off. Wayne County was a transgender woman who subsequently changed her name to Jayne... Fast forward to Monday 4 June and there is Julian ‘Jools’ Holland OBE performing the rather more gentle ‘You Are So Beautiful’ with singer Ruby Turner in front of Buckingham Palace for the Queen’s Jubilee, and broadcast around the world.”

To read more, log on now: www.thelatest.co.uk

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017_LS589_city college _011_LS466_interview 03/08/2012 12:57 Page 2

CITY COLLEGE

Top of the class

About City College Brighton and Hove:

City College offers new opportunities for study without breaking the bank

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oinciding with the launch of its the offer is Level 2 AAT Accounting new Adult Education Prospectus student Victoria Smith, 24, who will be which features over 300 partable to move on to the Level 3 course time courses and covers both leisure without having to worry about course classes and professional fees. “This offer really encourages qualifications, City College Brighton people in my position to come to and Hove has begun an awarenessCollege and improve their prospects”, raising campaign said Victoria. “I’m really regarding new pleased to be continuing opportunities for free here in September as the study for adults. For teaching’s been great and those 19-23 year olds gaining these who have not yet achieved a qualification at Levels 1 or 2, courses are now entirely free.

Each course leads to a recognised qualification Lynn Thackway and is supported by government funding. For example, for those who left school with fewer than five GCSEs at grade C or higher, their course will be free of charge. If a student has five GCSEs at grade C or more but no A Levels or Level 3 vocational qualifications, then any Level 3 qualification will be free of charge for 19-24 year olds. This offer also applies to Apprenticeships.

One student who is benefiting from

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qualifications is going to enable me to make a career in accountancy.”

“This is a massive boost for local people who are seeking opportunities to improve their job prospects and gain the type of skills and qualifications that employers are looking for,” said City College's newly appointed Principal Lynn Thackway.

“Our course information team are on hand to help potential students to identify the course that best suits their needs.”

Aside from 19-24 year olds, whatever an applicant’s age and qualifications, if they are actively seeking employment or are on a job related benefit, there are substantial concessions and courses will be free of tuition fees. All other adult learners

Situated in the heart of Brighton and graded ‘Outstanding’ in key areas by Ofsted in its June 2011 report, City College Brighton and Hove is an international centre of vocational excellence and one of the top performing Further Education Colleges in the country.

Every year, 2,000 full-time, 7,000 part-time, 400 Higher Education and 400 14-16 year old students as well as many international and European students choose City College as their place of further and higher education training. In addition, the College provides training to over 2,000 businesses via its ‘City Business Skills’ department which focuses on employer training needs. only pay around half of the tuition fees. For adults needing to improve their English and Maths, all the College’s Adult English and Maths courses (including GCSE) are free.

Prospective students can now enrol by simply logging on to the College’s website. The College is open every day during the summer from 9am to 5pm for part-time and full-time course advice and enrolments, and from 3 September is open from 9am to 7pm.

Alternately, you can call course information on 01273 667759. www.ccb.ac.uk

018_LS589_hotlist_Hotlist 01/08/2012 13:14 Page 2

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HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk British & Modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele.

Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256, www.bardsleysfishandchips.co.uk

The Hove Bank

The Hove Bank Steak & Ribs is the new sister restaurant of The Old Bank, offering great service in a grand café restaurant setting with pavement seating on the south east corner of beautiful Palmeira Square. Serving delicious locally sourced steaks, ribs, burgers and salads, home-made vanilla ice cream, a delicious wine list both at lunchtime and in the evenings, and all at great value for money – especially their specials menu with three courses for £10.95 at lunchtimes and midweek before 7pm. Opening hours: Mon–Thurs 12pm–2pm and 5pm–9.30pm, Fri–Sat 12pm–10pm and Sun 12pm– 9.30pm.

The Hove Bank, 64 Western Road, Palmeira Square, Hove, BN3 2JQ, 01273 721182, www.thehovebank.com

The Foragers

Winners of the prestigious Sussex Food and Drink Finals 2012 for Best Eating Experience in Sussex and awarded an AA Rosette for their excellent cuisine. Furthermore, take advantage of their award winning beer garden while the sun shines. To celebrate these accolades they are offering complimentary champagne cocktails to all bookings of ten or more, just make sure to mention Latest 7 when making your party booking.

The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, BN3 3YU 01273 733134, www.theforagerspub.co.uk

The Gallery Brighton – The Lanes

This restaurant boasts one of the finest outdoor heated street terraces in Brighton.

The Gallery offers the very finest locally sourced steak and seafood, all served in a friendly unpretentious environment. Located in the heart of Brighton’s Lanes, The Gallery is a must for those looking to get into the Brighton swing of things. With live music played on the terrace day and night this restaurant is a must next time you are out and about in the Lanes. They offer a great value lunch (2 courses for £10.95) and evening menu (2 courses for £15.95). Food is served all day.

The Gallery Restaurant, 28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL, 01273 773327, www.thegallerybrighton.co.uk

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting.

Locally owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A great wine list complements wholesome and satisfying food. The kids’ menu is also great value. Open Mon–Fri, 5pm–9.30pm; Sat–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm. Open all day bank holidays and now the garden is open.

The Old Bank, 120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200, www.oldbankkemptownbrighton.com

The Townhouse – Kemp Town

The Townhouse Piano Bar and Restaurant is the perfect destination for those looking to relax in the heart of Kemp Town while enjoying their favourite tipple and the finest local summer menu, and listening to live piano every night of the week. The restaurant has won the ‘Top 10 Restaurants In Brighton’ and is independently owned by a local family. It boasts an amazing lunch and evening menu with locally sourced steaks, lamb, vegetarian and seafood. They offer amazing value set lunch menus (2 courses for £10.95 ) and evening menus (2 courses for £15.95 ), Mondays – Thursdays and the best roasts in town on Sundays from £9.95.

The Townhouse – Kemp Town, 81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, BN2 1PA, 01273 693216, www.thetownhousekemptown.co.uk

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order.

Cocoa, 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412, www.cocoabrighton.co.uk

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm, The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs.

The Foragers

No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude; everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer.

Their reasonably priced menu starts at £13.95 for two courses, £15.95 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £17.95 for two courses, £19.95 for three on Friday and Saturday. À la carte menu available. Open 6pm.

New Steine Bistro, 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415, www.newsteinehotel.com

Indian

Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Chaula’s Brighton

Fat Leo

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton.

Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable.

Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661, www.chaulas.co.uk

Chaula’s Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Chaula’s Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can feast upon a selection of award-winning King Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Roomali Roti wraps and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too. The Chilli Pickle has been recognised with a Michelin Bib, two AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK Restaurant in The National Restaurant Awards and runners-up in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards. Lunch is served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential.

The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com

Italian Donatello

Donatello

The Townhouse

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos.

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why.

Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95.

Fat Leo, 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily. Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am –3pm Sat. Mediterraneo Deli, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350, www.mediterraneodeli.co.uk

Thai Sawadee

Authentic cuisine in the familiar Sawadee style in Kemp Town’s most popular Thai restaurant. An extensive menu offers variety and plenty of spice. From home-made starters and fiery salads to traditional Thai curries, stir fries of finely sliced meats or prawns, whole fish grilled in banana leaf, or simply pad Thai, the menu has something to suit everybody’s taste.

Sawadee, 87 St James Street, Brighton, BN2 1TP 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove. This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and they’re open every day, so come down and ‘gin yur yur’ (eat a lot!)

The Green Mango, 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, www.thegreenmangohove.com

019_LS589_food__food 02/08/2012 16:01 Page 2

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay tastes the wines and the steaks at The Hove Bank Steak & Ribs

Rare & red

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rowing up with a grandfather who was a rather fine butcher, it should comes as no surprise that I am a seasoned meat eater with a reasonably good knowledge of fleshy parts. The misunderstanding has always been that we dined on fillet, the truth is that we dined on cheap cuts, all of which were dished up with the kind of culinary skill that cheaper cuts required, skills that I use to this day, when I can find those cheap cuts that have become the stock in trade of the gastro pub!

Invitations arrive here on a daily basis, which is rather nice, and I am happy to fulfil as many as seem appropriate. When one arrived from The Hove Bank I was immediately reminded of the fabulous picture of Blythe King on our cover a few weeks back. She had been one of my junior reviewers and she had a great time at The Hove Bank, including whippy ice cream. Now I love good ice cream, by which I mean artisan ices at artisan prices, but there is something appealing about a Mr Whippy, and that is one of the fun things they offer.

The second lure was the presence of Henry Butler of Butler’s Wine Cellar.

Henry is my wine merchant of choice and I spend too much time and money in his shops. Knowing that he was there meant that the restaurant was A, working with a local supplier, a policy I wholly approve of, and B, choosing wines with a man who has an impeccable palate and the sense to supply affordable wines of quality.

On arrival we had a glass of prosecco, delicious dry stuff clearly a cut above the average bottle. It went down well and we even commented on the nice packaging. But that was merely a pre-amble to the core of the evening where an invited group would taste the red wines alongside a selection of the meats.

And what great meats! Selected for flavour rather than provenance we looked at the sirloin, rump, fillet, T-bone and pave. When asked if they were locally sourced the answer was clear; some were but on the whole they were chosen for quality and flavour. Now I am a big fan of buying local but I always, given a choice, go for quality. I am glad they do the same.

Raw meat viewed, Henry started popping open some wines. We started at entry level, the house red and very good it was too. Perfectly quaffable stuff that worked well with the meats which had started to arrive. Cooked medium rare, I tended to go for slices Latest 7 supports from the centre of the steak where it would be at its bloodiest. This may have been misconstrued by my colleagues as the bloodiest slices were also the biggest. I offer no apology, I know exactly want I like and it isn’t medium to rare steak.

At home I tend to cook rump, it is VOTE NOW affordable and it is full of flavour. At www.brightonfoodawards.com

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The Hove Bank the rump was excellent, as was the T-Bone and sirloin. I didn’t bother with the fillet, fillet is for dainty mouths who are unprepared to chew and care little for the flavour – I am sure it was good.

I even liked the burger and I’m not a burger fan, but I discovered that some of the meats are supplied by Paul at Bramptons in Kemp Town Village, so the quality was assured. He also supplies the pave rump, a Scottish beef of superb quality that had us all smiling. It comes at a premium but my word it is tasty.

As the meats arrived so did more wines, all of them excellent and some truly delicious. Henry has a knack for finding wines that you will not find on the supermarket shelves or in your local newsagents. I hate that; high street wines priced beyond reason on restaurant menus. I would also add that the management at The Hove Bank are not greedy with their mark ups and would rather sell you a second bottle of wine at a good price than scare you away.

Three cheers for that!

We tasted away, happily comparing notes and discussing the wine and food.

Ribs arrived and delivered exactly what one would hope for, basted in their own basting sauce. We were given all the steaks cooked with that sauce as well as cooked without. I liked the sauce, especially on the ribs where the rich earthy pork could handle the sweet spicy concoction. I liked it too with the chips, but felt that it was best served on the side and not on the beef. It’s a personal choice and I am sure many will like the baste cooked on their steak.

You might imagine that we all left after that, but no, we were all invited to stay for dinner! Which we did, although I could only manage a small rump with a green salad. It was a very pleasant evening and one that I would recommend. You could just go along and dine, or maybe they could do a similar beef and booze tasting for a party, now that would be fun.

The Hove Bank Steak and Ribs, 64 Western Road, Palmeira Square, Hove, BN3 2JQ 01273 721182 www.thehovebank.com follow me on twitter

latestandrew

Have you voted yet? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

Light bites Brighton & Hove Food Festival September sees the return of the Brighton and Hove Food Festival Autumn Programme and as ever I will be out and about making public appearances across the city.

The first will be at Hotel du Vin for Make Your Case. We piloted this in 2011 and it was a raucous evening of lively debate and booze. This year presenters will have three minutes to introduce their wine, blind, and then the assembled audience will vote.

At the end of the evening one wine will be revealed to be the winner and one audience member will go home with a bottle of each of the wines presented. I will be joined on stage by co-host Henry Butler so it should be a ribald and gastronomic treat (Friday 7 Sept, Pub du Vin Ballroom, tickets £20 to include wine and food platters).

This year the Live Food Stage sponsored by Latest 7 will be on Hove Lawns as part of the festival’s international market on Saturday 15 and Sunday 16 September. Once again I will be

joined on stage by local chefs and food producers but also by guest chefs from France participating in Chef Exchange at L’Eglise in Hove.

We will also be presenting the awards for our new food and produce competition the Big Brighton Bite Off with classes for kids, adults and professionals – for more details take a look at the festival’s website.

I will also be taking part in an industry event in conjunction with Brighton & Hove Chamber of Commerce and open to the hospitality industry. Hospitality Out of the Box will be a seminar format event in which industry professionals will discuss how best to promote your business.

If that sounds too serious then you will probably find me at the launch in Bartholomew Square having a stab at the noodle eating competition.

There are many more events, details of which can be found on the website at: www.brightonfoodfestival.com

020_021_LS589_reviewsbookings_Reviews 03/08/2012 14:43 Page 2

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REVIEWS

L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk

MAGICAL VISION THE FAIRY QUEEN, Glyndebourne, 28 July 2012, ✪✪✪✪✪

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nyone who uses the cliché ‘less is more’ has quite clearly never seen the Glyndebourne production of The Fairy Queen. Jonathan Kent’s vision dispenses with any idea that logic will prevail, and in mixing the references, period and form, he manages to make an exhilarating whole.

Setting the piece in a room which is an expanding cabinet of curiosities gives full rein to fantasy and fun, as well as finesse. As a work this is in itself a cabinet of curiosities. The finesse is delivered with fine soloists and the fabulous Glyndebourne chorus as well as the precise and vivacious playing of the Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment under the direction of Laurence Cummings. They fairly rip along when required and play with purity and restraint too.

The form; part opera, part play, part masque, may seem strange to a modern audience – plays within plays, ballets, bonking bunnies, fairies, demons, gods... all pulled together, despite the disparity, to make what has to be some of the most engaging theatre for many a year. Purcell’s music is a delight and the clusters of songs that frame the play are very fine, filled with both humour and pain. The rude mechanicals are appropriately ‘rude’, Oberon and Titania fruitily fabulous and Puck menacingly mischievous one moment, innocent and sweet the next. Throwing together so much could be a disaster but Kent, Cummings, designer Paul Brown and choreographer Kim Brandstrup have baked a rich, dark fruitcake of a production that had the audience delighted from beginning to end.

Andrew Kay

SUMMER SCHUBERTIADE – MARCUS FARNSWORTH (BARITONE) AND JAMES BAILLIEU (PIANO)

This venue, vulnerable to farmyard noises, is not yet ideal for Lieder recitals and the dry acoustic gives no feedback to the singer. However, the familiar Schubert songs came across beautifully and reassured us that all would go well. I am so grateful that I was introduced to the unfamiliar Kurtág works by such convincing and sensitive performances. The unaccompanied baritone songs had such extraordinary vocal agility, range and delicacy. In the Benjamin Britten songs, Farnsworth’s rich tone and perfect diction was complemented wonderfully by Baillieu’s attentive characterisation and virtuosity. Let’s hope this

excellent partnership comes back to Sussex soon.

Charleston Barn, Firle, 28 July 2012 ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Connal

CHARLOTTE CHURCH

Clever PR trick or genuine attempt to ‘be real’ after a somewhat unreal childhood? My money’s on the latter, particularly as when offered dressing facilities, Church said ‘she’d find some toilets to get changed in’.

But this commonplace band behaviour belied a truly exceptional voice, and an exceptional gig featured new material and a new direction unleashed at a grimy indie venue. If, with all that voice training the vocals nodded to musical theatre at times, in her upper registers Church sang with a truly haunting and unworldly power, beauty,

020_021_LS589_reviewsbookings_Reviews 03/08/2012 14:58 Page 3

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 21 precision and depth. Exceptional voice, with at times, exceptional material.

Doubters beware.

Green Door Store, 2 August 2012 ✪✪✪✪✪ Mark Ede

INSPIRAL CARPETS

Music fans are rightly starting to feel fatigued by the current glut of reunion tours, but this show was everything that a comeback gig should be. The Inspiral Carpets were always more musically talented than most of their contemporaries, and the passage of time has not diminished their abilities. Spurred on by the presence of original singer Stephen Holt after 23 years apart, the Manchester legends rattled through an impressively raucous greatest hits set, without a bum note to be heard. The band clearly loved every minute of the gig, but not half as much as their legion of diehard fans.

Concorde 2, 27 July 2012 ✪✪✪✪✪

L7 Bookings On sale this week…

FESTIBELLY

The New Forest, Hampshire, 25–26 August 2012, weekend ticket £55, Sunday ticket £38, www.festibelly.com Headlining Saturday, sharp suited Willy Moon fuses rock'n'roll and hiphop; or “Bo Diddley as imagined by Timbaland” says Q Magazine. Gold Panda headlines Sunday, whose magnificent debut LP ‘Lucky Shiner’ scooped accolade after accolade (“a masterclass” – Dazed & Confused, “stunning” – Q Magazine, “blissful” – NME) and went on to win The Guardian’s First Album Award.

Also joining the bill is BBC Radio 1 DJ and Bestival host Rob Da Bank, rave heroes Ragga Twins, perennial ‘Belliers Man Like Me and hotly tipped bands including Clock Opera, Bluebell and Bastille, and much, much more.

BOND ON THE BIG SCREEN: 50 YEARS IN THE SECRET SERVICE

Adam Lindsayr

CAMP BESTIVAL

Camp Bestival is aimed squarely at festival goers with a propensity for breeding. For the adults, a twinge of nostalgia with Adam Ant, Kool and the Gang, even Happy Mondays.

For the acts that manage to straddle the age divide the reception was fantastic and this year the two that performed this trick were both relative newcomers. Hot Chip are a strange bunch. Solid and at first quite static but once funked up at a steady BPM they cruised along.

The second act and highlight of the festival were undoubtedly two twenty year olds, the Rizzle Kicks, bouncing onto stage with an attitude just the right side of arrogant.

The festival is spectacularly well organised. Someone has been able to create the right vibe and this is vital for the hundreds of crew, thousands of festival goers and even the humble security guard on the gate of our far-off camping field.

Lulworth Castle, Dorset, 26-29 July 2012 ✪✪✪✪✪

Duke Of York’s Picturehouse, 7 October 2012, £12, www.soundstageevents.co.uk To mark 50 years of James Bond films this very special event gathers guests William P Cartlidge (associate producer of The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker), Paul Inglis (art director of Skyfall and Quantum Of Solace), veteran stuntman Vic Armstrong, and costume designer Lindy Hemming together. The guests will be interviewed separately on their involvement in the James Bond films, before taking part in a panel. There will also be an audience Q&A. The event will be illustrated with a selection of specially assembled montages.

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

BETH ORTON

St George's Church, 30 November 2012, £22/20, 01273 709709, www.ticketweb.co.uk A revered, award-winning artist, Beth Orton is renowned for her distinct and intensely expressive voice. Orton’s adroit songwriting and emotionally evocative vocal style – infusing intimate folk reminiscent of Nick Drake and Joni Mitchell with lilting and subtly atmospheric pop flourishes — has continuously evolved.

DARA O’BRIAIN - CRAIC DEALER

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 17 October 2012, £21, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org Following 2010’s 150 date sell out tour of the UK & Ireland and best selling DVD ‘This Is The Show’, Irish funnyman Dara O’Briain hits the road again with a brand new show for 2012.

JOSIE LONG - ROMANCE AND ADVENTURE

Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 20 October 2012, £12/10, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org Josie says: “This is my sixth solo show and I'm going to try and make it the best one. Just writing the title made me super excited so that's got to be a good thing right? Come along, it'll be silly, fun and I promise to try and swear less this time.”

Twice Best Comedy Award Nominee.

Best Newcomer Award Winner.

Novice Climber. Ranter.

THE STAVES + SPECIAL GUESTS

Komedia, 20 November 2012, £11/9, 01273 709709, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton Having recently provided backing vocals for albums by Tom Jones and Fionn Regan, and toured with Willy Mason, Josh Ritter, James Vincent McMorrow, and Mt. Desolation, among others, these three Watford sisters are in real demand at present, and their schedule’s only going to get busier once their debut album ‘Born And Grown’ is released in October.

Dara O’Briain

TOP 10

1 Give Her The Gun Equinox 2 Osaro And RJ Shut Up And Dance 3 Panos Christofi Sunshine 4 The Fadadoo Project Lost In A Crowd 5 Boa Marks Merchandised Eyes 6 Moonlighter Every Time I Fall 7 Coda Luna Folie a Deux 8 Drewvis Estoy Esperando 9 Maria Mcateer – Her Night At Noon Drink The Pain Away 10 Shoot The Dead NW1 There’s hardly been any change to the chart this week, with the top five still holding on to their places. Slipp Electro ft. Osaro with ‘It’s Lifting Me’ has slipped back in at 20. We need a chart revolution. Don’t forget that you hold the power over the chart; simply visit online and listen to the biggest and hottest bands from around town.

You get to decide who should be Number One. If you’re a musician or in a band then why not submit your own singles online and join the rest of the Brighton music scene. We’re still in the process of creating our new Music Video Chart and will want your band videos soon, so watch this space!

11 Tenek Submission – Radio Edit 12 Dannydangerously HARIBO 13 Black Nail God Damn You 14 Susi John – BFR A Love Song For Aung San Suu Kyi 15 The Last Cry Rebekka 16 Fireworks For Summer Building Fires In A Circle Around Her House 17 The Wolfgirl Liberation Tuesday 18 Sam Charles Jupiter 19 The Magik Word Break Free (Terrorvision) 20 Slipp Electro ft Osaro It’s Lifting Me (Remix) SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS

Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

comment@thelatest.co.uk

8

Latest Brighton Download Chart

The Staves

www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

022_025_LS589_previews_editorial 03/08/2012 12:15 Page 2

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LATEST PREVIEWS STAGE

L7 Previews

Absurd Person Singular Photo by Robert Day

STAGE: AYCKBOURN DOUBLE BILL The classic Absurd Person Singular is coupled with new play, Surprises, at Chichester Festival Theatre

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hichester’s Festival 2012 continues with two productions by Alan Ayckbourn, one of Britain’s most popular and acclaimed playwrights. Surprises is a brand new play, presented alongside his award-winning classic comedy Absurd Person Singular. These two plays are co-productions with Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough, and feature one company of actors.

Surprises is the gently funny and poignant depiction of several intertwined love stories set in the near future that explore the central theme of longevity. Absurd Person Singular follows three couples in three kitchens over three Christmases. This darkly comic story of culinary disasters, emotional breakdowns and social climbing established the tragi-comic genre that has become synonymous with Laura Doddington (Zandy) and Ben Porter (Titus) in Surprises Ayckbourn’s finest writing. In 1974 it won the Photo by Robert Day Evening Standard Award for Best Comedy.

Surprises is Ayckbourn’s 76th play in a career spanning over 50 years, while Absurd Person Singular was first staged in 1972.

Ayckbourn recently became the first British playwright to receive both Olivier and Tony Special Lifetime Achievement Awards and was knighted for services to theatre in 1997. His work includes Man Of The Moment, A Chorus Of Disapproval, Woman In Mind, A Small Family Business, The Norman Conquests, Absent Friends and Relatively Speaking. He was Artistic Director of the Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough, from 1972 to 2009, where the majority of his work continues to be premiered.

DOUBLE ACT

A who’s who of the cast lined up for Ayckbourn’s double bill: Ayesha Antoine plays Eva Jackson in Absurd Person Singular and Grace/Seraphina in Surprises. Her theatre credits include My Wonderful Day (Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough), One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show (Sheffield Crucible) and Big White Fog (Almeida Theatre).

Bill Champion plays Ronald Brewster-Wright in Absurd Person Singular and Franklin in Surprises. His theatre credits include Intimate Exchanges, Haunting Julia and Love Songs For Shop Keepers (all for the Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough).

Laura Doddington plays Jane Hopcroft in Absurd Person Singular, and Sylvia/Zandy in Surprises. Her credits include Life Of Riley, I Ought To Be In Pictures, Miss Yesterday and Time And Time Again (all for the Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough).

Sarah Parks plays Marion Brewster-Wright in Absurd Person Singular.

She also plays Lorraine/Inez/Bellina in Surprises. Her theatre credits include Mother Courage And Her Children (National Theatre) and Marlene (Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough).

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

Ben Porter plays Sidney Hopcroft in Absurd Person Singular. He also plays Titus/Conrad in Surprises. His credits include Edward II (Sheffield Crucible), The Fall Guy (Manchester Royal Exchange), An Enemy Of The People and The Invention Of Love (both for the National Theatre).

Richard Stacey plays Geoffrey Jackson in Absurd Person Singular and Jan/Gorman in Surprises. His theatre credits include If I Were You (Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough) Much Ado About Nothing (Theatre Royal Bath) and Twelfth Night (Liverpool Everyman and Playhouse).

Design is by Michael Holt, who has worked with Alan Ayckbourn for 35 years at the Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough.

Surprises, Wednesday 8 August – Saturday 8 September Absurd Person Singular, Friday 10 August – Saturday 8 September Minerva Theatre, Chichester Box office: 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk follow me on twitter

latestandrew

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES Heartbreak House Festival Theatre, Chichester Until 25 August Box office 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk

Playhouse Creatures Theatre on the Fly, Chichester Until 11 August Box office 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk

Noah Theatre on the Fly, Chichester Until 11 August Box office 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk

Gotta Sing Gotta Dance Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne Until 25 August Box office 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

022_025_LS589_previews_editorial 03/08/2012 12:27 Page 3

LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 23 CLUBS: POP KRAFT Join Boogaloo Stu and the gang as they celebrate three years of crafty capers and non-stop disco. Playing the likes of Kylie, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Hot Chip, Katy Perry and Blondie. An unforgettable night out!

Proud Brighton Ballroom, Sat 11 Aug, 10pm, £6 CLUBS: PUMP UP THE JAM A night dedicated to '90s dance, house, hip-hop and pop. Expect to hear the likes of Snap, Prodigy, Livin Joy, Nush and more. Taking you back to a time of Michael Jordan, Reebok Classics, Friends, Street Fighter and girl power.

Coalition, Sat 11 Aug, 11pm–2.30am, £5 advance

raise funds for the Sussex MS Treatment. There's also DJ action from Breakin' Bears and Bingo with celebrity guest Keith from Ricky Gervais’ show The Office! Juice FM's Guy Lloyd hosts the night.

Concorde 2, Sat 11 Aug, 8pm, £5 MUSIC: DEAD BELGIAN Dead Belgian are a Liverpool-based band playing the music of Jacques Brel, but have developed a playful and inventive sound that meshes dense melodic patterns, demonic waves of intensity and passages of sparse frailty with vocals that have drawn comparison to Edith Piaf, Anthony Hegarty and Nico.

Latest Music Bar, Mon 13 Aug, 8.30pm, £6

MUSIC: CAPDOWN + CRAZY ARM Punker Bunker presents one of the leading UK punk/ska bands Capdown (short for Capitalist Downfall, fact fans) for an intimate show. Hard working and independent they initially split in 2007 only to reform in 2010. Support from Crazy Arm and Beverley Kills.

The Haunt, Fri 10 Aug, 8pm, £15

Sweet Sweet Lies

MUSIC: MS FUNDRAISER WITH MEAN POPPA LEAN + FRANCLASSIC + SWEET SWEET LIES Following the success of last year’s charity fundraiser with Dot Cotton, this event returns once more to

MUSIC: WILLY MASON The talented American singer-songwriter comes to the Proud Brighton Ballroom

Dead Belgian

O

ne of the finest American singer-songwriters of recent years is a regular visitor to these shores where he has built up a sizeable following for his highly literate and melodic outpourings. Initially signed to Conor Oberst’s (Bright Eyes) label, his first album, Where The Humans Eat, was recorded in the Catskills Mountains of New York State; a relatively stripped back affair, it featured one of the outstanding sociopolitical songs of the noughties, 'Oxygen'. At age just 18 here was a raw yet mature talent that already sounded world weary and yet utterly inspiring to a new generation of singer-songwriters.

His second album, If The Ocean Gets Rough, was a much more polished affair, but every bit as good as his debut and cementing his reputation as an artist big of heart and big on talent. Every now and then he works with other artists such as The Chemical Brothers (providing vocals for ‘Battle Scars’) and more recently Lianne La Havas on her ‘No Room For Doubt’ track. We’ve yet to see a follow up to his last album released five years ago, but the word is he’ll be showcasing some new material as well as dipping into his already rich repertoire.

Willy Mason, Wednesday 8 August, Proud Brighton Ballroom, 8pm, £10 follow me on twitter

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

latestjeff

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

022_025_LS589_previews_editorial 03/08/2012 12:34 Page 4

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LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS

COMEDY: PAUL ZERDIN – PUPPET MASTER YouTube phenomenon, chatted with the Queen, sold out Edinburgh show – ventriloquist Zerdin has it all When did you first realise you wanted to use ventriloquism as your medium?

“I don't think I ever realised it, I just fell into it. When I left school I was doing magic and I'd been given a book on how to be a ventriloquist. I'd been interested in it but I'd never thought of it as a career choice.

I was trying to get an agent and the only person that was interested in me was this lady called Jenny and she said ‘I love what you do but I've got loads of people that do magic, you need something that's different, what can you do that's different?’. I said, ‘Well, I've got this ventriloquist act that I'm working on’, and she said, ‘well, carry on working on it and when it's ready come back and see me’. And so that kind of decided it really for me in a way. I had quite a bit of success early on and I got a bit of telly when I'd just started literally doing the ventriloquist act, and so then I became a kids’ presenter for a couple of years doing ventriloquism and presenting. I thought I might as well carry on doing this really and see where it takes me.”

Ventriloquists seem to get quite a bit of prejudice against them.

Why do you think that is?

“I think it's because people think they're weird, and I suppose there is something a bit weird about it. I think people have seen those films – ventriloquists have been depicted as a bit mental, as you know, murdering psychopaths, and I don't think that particularly helps the image, if I'm completely honest!”

EVENTS: FRIGHTEN BRIGHTON CLASSIC HORROR FILM FESTIVAL From the brains behind the Classic Horror Campaign, Cyberschizoid and Scare Sarah present the Frighten Brighton Classic Horror Film Festival – a whole day of gruesome movies.

As well as the macabre movies, special guest presenter Miss Emily Booth, notably the horror hostess with the mostest from the UK's Horror Channel will be there too.

Shock Horror magazine will also provide free copies of their magazine to some of the lucky attendees. The bar is open all day with food and popcorn available from the Komedia Café so you won’t go hungry.

Komedia, Sat 11 Aug, 12pm, £15 all day pass or £5 per film EVENTS: BRIGHTON WALKS – MURDER AND MYSTERY Brighton has been the backdrop to many infamous murders. For instance, it's the only place in the country where a police constable was murdered in his own police station. Lyn Neville tells you gruesome stories of poison and shootings as she guides you on this fascinating tour of the city.

Meet at Brighton Town Hall, Sat 11 Aug, 7.30pm, £7/£5

EVENTS: THE PRINCE REGENT’S GARDEN FETE Celebrate George IV’s 250th birthday with a traditional fund-raising garden fête. Chance your luck on the stalls, sing along with a brass band and raise a handkerchief to the Brighton Morris Men. All proceeds go to supporting the Garden Fund.

Royal Pavilion East Lawn, Sat 11 Aug, 2pm–6.30pm, free EVENTS: BRIGHTON WRITERS RETREAT A procrastination-busting, one-day writing retreat to help you get a move on with your writing project. The workshop is about quantity, not quality, with lunch, competitions, tea and biscuits to get you motivated.

Perfect for people with a project in progress that has stalled or been put aside. Booking essential.

The Writers’ Place, New Writing South, Sun 12 Aug, 10am-4pm, £35 COMEDY: LIVE ’N’ LAUGHING – MATT RICHARDSON Multi-award winning Matt Richardson performs, along with fabulous support acts and a happy atmosphere at this yet again renamed venue in town. bloc1 (formerly Psychosocial), Wed 8 Aug, 8pm, £7/4

What's the oddest reaction you've had from an audience member to just the idea of ventriloquism?

“I was in Denmark doing a TV chat show and I'd been over there and guested for it five times now, and I remember I'd taken the puppet out in one of the shows and the woman just screamed. Absolutely screaming, as if it was some sort of devil doll and she'd never seen anything like it before and it was just a little cheeky looking muppet really. I wouldn't say it was particularly frightening, maybe if you're a four year old then you might be frightened, but this was a grown woman and it was just funny, she was just screaming.”

What do you plan to do next?

“I’m doing a pilot for a sitcom. It's my own show, which I'm recording in September. I'm doing a festival in South Africa and then I start my autumn tour. It’s kind of like Seinfeld meets The Muppets, so it's a show based around a world that's all about learning really, me and the characters at home and what you’d see if I was mad.”

Paul Zerdin – Puppet Master, Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, Thursday 9 August, 7.45pm, £15/13.50, www.worthingtheatres.co.uk follow me on twitter

latestvicky

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

Stafford Road Open House More than just an open house!

Aug: 25th 26th 27th Sept: 1st 2nd 8th 9th 11am – 5pm Vinyl ROCK N ROLL music neck & shoulder MASSAGE plus

WORKSHOPS for children and adults StaffordRoadOpenHouse.blogspot.com

or ring Robin on 07956555688 54 Stafford Road, Seaford

Always a warm welcome and free parking.

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LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM

25

Jo Nesbø’s Jackpot

ART: WORLD STORIES: YOUNG VOICES World Stories: new permanent gallery featuring Brighton Museum’s World Art collection, redisplayed with the involvement of young people and members of source communities. Young people have been working with curators, filmmakers, artists, and writers to explore and reinterpret the collection.

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900.

ART: HAROLD MOCKFORD In celebration of his 80th birthday, this exhibition brings together a large body of paintings that span his long and distinguished career. His inspiration comes from the South Downs, but transforming them into mystical, dreamlike landscapes through his use of deep, rich colours and surreal perspectives.

Harold Mockford, Towner Gallery, Eastbourne, 01323 434670.

Until 30 Sept

FILM: JO NESBØ’S JACKPOT (15) Dir: Magnus Martens From the dark mind that brought us Headhunters, this Norwegian flick starts off bloody and then works backwards. Oscar Svendsen wakes up, terrified and bloodied in a once respectable strip club surrounded by eight dead bodies and with police detective Solør levelling a gun at his chest. How did he get into this predicament? And will the police believe his story?

Released Fri 10 Aug Showing at Duke Of York’s Picturehouse

FILM: BRAVE 3D (PG) Director: Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman

E

ver wondered if the boys who go to see Disney films feel left out?

Just checking, because it always seems to be about empowered princesses doing it for themselves these days when maybe the odd prince finding his way might not go amiss for one summer holiday.

Anyway, Princess Merida (Kelly Macdonald) is a feisty redheaded Scot, an expert archer and daughter of King Fergus and Queen Elinor (Billy Connolly and Emma Thompson). Unsurprising then that she’s also rather headstrong and determined to make her own way in life, breaking with tradition and unwittingly releasing chaos into the kingdom. Best go ask a witch for help then – no! D’oh! Hey presto, here’s a curse and even more strife. However will she restore order and emerge older and wiser by the end?

We’ll just have to watch and hope for the best. Also featuring the voices of Julie Walters, Robbie Coltrane, Kevin McKidd and Craig Ferguson.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld now in 2D and 3D.

For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE!

Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: thelatest.co.uk

wed 8 aug

tango boot camp

argentine tango with tangobootcamp 8pm-11pm £8 whole night /£5 or £3.50 social dancing only /£3

thurs 9 aug

the vesuvius club presents…

paul diello, arthur and the irrational anna rice 7.30pm £5

mon 13 aug

fri 10 aug

cabaret bar

swingalicious

learn the exciting swing dance 8pm £5 dead belgian

stash sounds 8.30pm £6 presents: beat brawl tues 14 aug bunch a night of beat battles charity chuckle and live hip-hop performances.

9pm free

new act night 8pm £8/£5

026_LS589_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 03/08/2012 11:22 Page 2

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STARS | TV

STARS

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 87 – 13 AUGUST

With Val Aviv

Telly Talk

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

A claustrophobic relationship can leave you frustrated, especially if you’re not given adequate recognition. Take a step back, you don’t really need approval and others don’t need your bullets. You have the power to make light of everything.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

You’re very torn between taking a risk, which could be deemed brave or stupid, and playing it safe, which could mean the beginning of the end. Remember that reality is what you make it: if you believe in the possibility of success being yours, then it will be.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

Your ruler Mercury moves into the highly energised and larger than life sign of Leo, which brings added charisma and charm to your daily encounters. If confidence is nine tenths of the magic, then you will not be short of magic.

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

Love can move you to unhealthy extremes, but you should sense a little light relief as Venus makes everything less intensely serious and more enjoyable. You may have to be tough on the inside now the pressure is on, just don’t lose your cool outwardly; it’s a long game.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

A secret admirer plays a big part in your destiny although you may not see them as much as either of your schedules will allow. You could keep a special place for them in your dreams.

Negotiations are tough, but deals have both short and long term prospects.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

Getting what you want may feel like walking up a downward escalator; it seems tiring, pointless and frustrating. To take a rest and allow yourself to go with the flow may seem like you’re going backwards, but the tide will soon turn in your favour.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

We make our own luck to some extent and we also create some of our own misfortune. Sometimes when we want things so badly, we over-react to the little things that appear to stand in our way. Avoid seeing the negatives; it’ll help them vanish.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Our brains will keep processing new information no matter how radical. If a previous experience has left you a little embittered, it could be time to re-evaluate what you thought you knew and look upon life with renewed faith. The past does not equal the future.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

It has been said that our greatest teachers are our enemies, they help us to overcome challenges, they make us stronger and they help us become conscious of that which is unresolved in our psyche. If it weren’t for the competition, how could you be a winner?

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Love is transforming you in profound ways; it may be appropriate to show your appreciation by expressing deep affection. You may be seen as a stickler, but really you’re focused on the job, let the people around you know that you do care.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

You don’t need to exhibit lugubrious nonchalance about the world because one or two of your dreams are not rooted in reality and you’ve finally just realised that. Anything great that’s ever happened started out as a dream; reality is yet more exciting still.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

Obligations don’t have to be an uphill treadmill; in actual fact, it’s more like a cascading snowball of joyous mayhem, or drama.

Wear the right head and you can have a lot of fun. Finances alone can’t make you happy, only you can make you happy.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

With Victoria Nangle

Real, real, real

M

any moons ago, people watched Big Brother in droves, it lived on Channel 4, and a star was born. Not actually from the house itself (sorry Brian Dowling) but from the snazzy indents that were essentially the bits with a phone company’s logo on and a strange man holding the first Big Brother winner – Craig Phillips – captive in a wardrobe. This was Avid Merrion, creation of Leigh Francis. Bit of an unlikely break some would say, but fast forward a decade and a bit and Francis’ most popular character to date – Keith Lemon, star of Celebrity Juice and soon to have his own film – is now turning the tables on that chrysalis and starring in a brand new reality programme, all about him.

“He hasn’t lost any of his affectionate venom as the years have passed” It might seem odd to put together a reality programme about a fictitious character, but perhaps it’s a little more honest than taking so-called ‘real’ people and putting them into constructed scenarios; dropping them into a completely contained house for the summer under the assumption that when they come out there’ll be a job waiting for them presenting late night casino telly, or flogging steak knives on the shopping channel. At least Lemon La Vida Loca is clear about its deceptions from the start.

Promising to film behind the scenes of the movie being made (it really is being made!) and his life, this bizarre concept seems to work. With the smattering of celebs surrounding Keith and his girlfriend Rosie it’s actually very funny watching people react to the mini scenes the pair create in front of them. In fact, it’s almost the inverse of the majority of contemporary reality shows, with the stars choosing the dramas and the crew and extras having to respond, providing the ‘naturalism’.

The first event in the peroxide pair’s tumultuous life is Rosie

moving down from Leeds and in with Keith. With gratuitous amounts of nudity, pornographic duvet sets and swingball (and you can imagine how well they went down at the swanky estate agent’s office) Leigh Francis isn’t pulling any punches with this latest vehicle for his creations.

Lemon is ideally situated to poke the bear that is celebrity culture – he rubs shoulders with them every week, be they ‘talented’ actors or reality ‘personalities’. Having started with a comment on fandom, it’s good to see he hasn’t lost any of his affectionate venom as the years have passed.

Playing swingball with Dane Bowers, the D-lister asks Keith Lemon if he’s played against any celebrities “apart from me”, only to get a boastful and clearly fictitious response. It’s clear that all the cool kids know they’re not really that cool and are content with that. The really cool kids, the ones who won’t appear on the show and whose noses are actually put out by the supposed depiction of their lifestyles, are lampooned by their own aloofness. Could it be that the ultimate fanboy has subversively levelled the playing field of celebrity, turning celebs into his fans? Surely this means the world is about to implode! Best not to think about it too much.

Lemon La Vida Loca, ITV2, (started last week) Thursday 9 August 2012 follow me on twitter

latestvicky

027_LS589_TV_tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 01/08/2012 13:17 Page 1

tuesday 7 The Midwives: Make Me A Midwife BBC2, 9pm Following the work of the midwives on the Central Delivery Unit at St Mary’s Hospital in Manchester, one of the busiest labour wards in the country. The babies are the beautiful-est (except yours) and the pressure hardest on the newly qualified midwives. Good luck Jess!

Lost Children Channel 4, 10pm The second part of this two-part documentary following pupils at High Close School in Berkshire, run by Barnardo’s for children with emotional and behavioural problems. This time the focus is on school hard man Josh, following him for an entire year and hoping he doesn’t repeat the mistakes of his birth family.

Suburgatory E4, 9.30pm There’s a certain amount of schadenfreude going on in Suburgatory this week, as Tessa gets ever so excited when someone steals Sheila Shay’s Shirley Temple doll collection.

Bad girl! It bites her on the ass though when Dallas and Dalia decide to crash with her as they’re scared of burglars. Ha!

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.15 Olympics 2012 1.30pm BBC News At One 2.00 South East Today 2.15 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.45pm Bargain Hunt 1.30 Olympics 2012 2.15 Flog It! 3.00 Diddy Dick And Dom 3.30 Shaun The Sheep Championsheeps 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 Serious Explorers: Livingstone 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Olympics 2012 Gary Lineker and John Inverdale present Olympic coverage as British interest centres on sprint hurdler Tiffany Porter, while the eyes of the world are on the blue riband men’s 1,500m final. It could also be a big night for British men’s football if they have topped their preliminary group and won their quarter-final. If so, a win in tonight’s semi-final would book their place in Saturday afternoon’s final at Wembley.

In boxing, a win for Andrew Selby in the flyweight quarter-finals will automatically give him an Olympic medal. Steve Cram, Paul Dickenson, Jonathan Edwards and Brendan Foster commentate on the seven athletics events: 7.00 Men’s high jump final.

7.15 Women’s 100m hurdles semifinals. 7.45 Men’s discus throw final.

7.55 Men’s 800m semi-finals.

8.25 Women’s 200m semi-finals.

9.00 Women’s 100m hurdles final.

9.15 Men’s 1,500m final.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.40 Olympics Tonight Gabby Logan presents a chance to enjoy the remaining sport taking place around the capital.

12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00 Olympics 2012 The conclusion of six days of track cycling: 6.00 Men’s keirin finals 1-6; 6.15 Women’s sprint finals - race 3. Commentary is

by Hugh Porter, Chris Boardman and Jill Douglas.

7.00 Helicopter Heroes A look at the work of the Yorkshire Air Ambulance.

7.30 EastEnders After Shirley makes an apparent breakthrough with Ian, Ben panics and decides on his own course of action.

8.00 Holby City Malick puts his career on the line when he overrides the wishes of a convicted murderer and patient. Eddi’s determination to clear her ward leads her to make a terrible mistake.

9.00 The Midwives: Make Me A Midwife See higlhights.

10.00 Olympics 2012 Coverage continues, including the boxing quarter-finals and beach volleyball semi-finals.

10.40 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark.

11.30 The Super League Show Damian Johnson introduces all the action and analysis from round 23 of Super League XVII. 12.15am Sign Zone: Indian Ocean With Simon Reeve 1.15 Sign Zone: Alex Polizzi – The Fixer 2.15 Britain’s Heritage Heroes 2.45 Real Rescues

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jai shocks Rachel with an offer. A fired-up Marlon steps down as Paddy’s best man. Charity enjoys bluffing Carl and Jimmy.

7.30 Trash To Treasure Documentary series about two rival reclamation yards. At Ribble Reclamation, new boss Paul is trying to convince Dale that merging his demolition business with Dale’s yard is the way to make a small fortune – and gives Dale a tour of a disused school which he is about to tear down.

8.00 Lewis When a local businesswoman is brutally bludgeoned to death, it appears to be a blackmail plot gone wrong. But as the bodies begin to pile up, Lewis and Hathaway realise that there is a decades-old secret at the heart of the case – and they must uncover it if they are to stop the murders.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Island (2005) Starring Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean, Steve Buscemi, Michael Clarke Duncan. Futuristic thriller about a seemingly utopian containment facility in the mid-21st century. Never going to work, that Utopia stylee.

1.00am Jackpot247 3.00 Goldenballs 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.05 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Will And Grace 8.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Come Dine With Me 9.55 Come Dine With Me 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... London 2012: David Clarke Part III 12.10 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 1.05 FILM: Jungle Book (1942) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Dr Christian Jessen presents the series examining issues around weight, food and body image. In the Feeding Clinic this time are Hugh McIntosh and Lynsey Bate.

9.00 The Girl Who Became Three Boys Documentary about 21-year-old Gemma Barker, who is currently serving 30 months in a British prison for fraud and sexual assault. Over the course of several months Gemma invented and impersonated three different boys, ‘Aaron’, ‘Luke’ and ‘Connor’ and under these three separate guises went on to seduce two teenage girls.

10.00 Lost Children See highlights.

11.05 Random Acts 11.10 Best Of British Documentary series following the lives of British Paralympians.

12.15am Best Of British 1.15 PokerStars.co.uk Caribbean Adventure 2.10 KOTV Boxing 2.35 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 3.00 FIVB World Beach Volleyball Championship 3.55 Intelligent Sport UK Challenge 4.20 Mobil 1 The Grid 4.45 British F3 International Series 5.10 FIM World Superbikes 2012 5.40 Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Chopped 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Extraordinary Dogs 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.05 FILM: Impact: Part 1 (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Series about Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. Tensions are high as popular chimp Sammy goes under the knife, and the stump-tailed macaque house gets a makeover.

6.30 5 News 7.00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads Documentary series. Lisa and GW drive a truckload of live llamas across the world’s largest salt flat.

8.00 World’s Tallest Towers The 610-metre Canton Tower is the tallest television tower on the planet. This documentary explores the engineering breakthroughs behind its construction.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama series.

The detectives are on the trail of a team of off-road racers who have their sights set on taking out a fellow competitor for good.

10.00 Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Big Brother house. These exclusive highlights include all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate, with special guests.

12.00am Banged Up Abroad 1.00 SuperCasino 3.55 Great Artists 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Masters Of European Football 9.30 PGA Championship 2009 Official Film 10.30 Test Cricket - Eng v SA 12.30pm SPL Round-Up 1.00 Super League 2.30 Test Cricket - Eng v SA 4.30 LIVE CB40 Cricket 10.00 PGA Championship 2010 Official Film 11.00 Masters Of European Football 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 Sporting Greats: Sir Donald Bradman 1.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 PGA Championship 2010 Official Film 3.00 Ladies Tour Golf 4.00 Football’s Greatest 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 PGA Championship 2010 Official Film

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Afterburn 8.00 PGA Tour Classic 9.00 Super League 10.30 World Golf Championship 11.30 PGA Tour Golf 12.30pm Golfing World 1.00 PGA Tour Classic 2.00 ATP Tennis 4.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 11.00 Super League Backchat 11.30 P1 Superstock Powerboats 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 Poker 3.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Test Cricket – Eng v SA 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 1.00 Thrillseekers 1.30 Masters Of European Football 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 Masters Of European Football 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Super League Backchat 10.30 Poker 12.30am Ladies European Tour Golf 1.30 World Match Racing Tour 2.30 Close

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kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

3.00pm Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Bourne Legacy Special 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 The Angel 9.00 Trollied 9.30 A League Of Their Own 10.00 FILM: The Naked Gun (1988) 11.40 My Holiday Hostage Hell 12.40am Road Wars

7.00am Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 8.00 Total Wipeout 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 EastEnders 11.30 Pramface (x2) 12.30am Family Guy 1.15 American Dad! (x2) 2.00 Wilfred (x6) 4.10 Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 4.30 British Olympic Dreams (x2)

7.00pm BBC World News London Live 7.30 Talking Landscapes 8.00 Venice 24/7 (x2) 9.00 Secret Life Of The Motorway 10.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture 11.00 Dive, Dive, Dive! 12.00am Wallander 1.15 Venice 24/7 (x2) 2.15 Talking Landscapes 2.45 Secret Life Of The Motorway

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 The Real Housewives Of New York City 5.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 America’s Got Talent 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 FILM: Batman Forever (1995) 12.30am The Big Quiz - Boys v Girls

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 The Darling Buds Of May 3.10 Monk 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.50 An Audience With Victoria Wood 9.00 FILM: Memphis Belle (1990) 11.05 Canterbury Tales 12.15am Murder, She Wrote 1.10 Terry And June (x2)

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 New Girl 9.30 Suburgatory. See higlhights. 10.00 The Midnight Beast 10.30 The Cleveland Show 11.00 The Ricky Gervais Show 11.30 Facejacker 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Time Team Special 3.35 4 Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Coppers 11.05 My Transsexual Summer 12.10am Come Dine With Me 1.10 Coppers 2.15 My Transsexual Summer

11.00am Guns At Batasi (1964) 1.05pm Ivanhoe (1952) 3.15 20 Million Miles To Earth (1957) 4.55 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 7.05 Big Momma’s House (2000) 9.00 The Day After Tomorrow (2003) 11.25 Inglourious Basterds (2009) 2.25am Lights In The Dusk (2006) 4.00 Close

Every night is a Saturday night in Brighton ALL your listings at thelatest.co.uk/listings

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028_LS589_TV_wed_L7wed14apr.qxd 01/08/2012 13:18 Page 1

wednesday 8 SuperScrimpers Channel 4, 8pm At least someone’s cashing in on everyone else being a little light of pocket, as this money-saving programme gets down to the nitty gritty of how to save money on childcare costs – covering everything from nannies to vouchers thanks to Mrs M. Plus, Amy and Megan learn the fine art of swishing. We say!

Vexed BBC2, 9pm The ludicrous pair of detectives are set to task going undercover on a modern university campus.

There’s been a murder, you see, and it’s all become embroiled in the complex department of gender politics. Right up Jack’s street there then, which might be why he gets sent back to school as an undercover student.

Arena: Routemasters! The Double Decker Bus Conductors BBC4, 10pm A documentary celebrating one of London’s greatest characters – the bus conductor. Telling the stories of five conductors from five different decades of the capital’s history, filled with period music and archive footage. Ding!

Ding! Try not to fall off the end!

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.30 Olympics 2012 1.00pm BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Olympics 2012 Gary Lineker and John Inverdale present another night of top-class athletics, with four finals including the men’s 110m hurdles and the women’s 400m hurdles. With commentary by Steve Cram, Paul Dickenson, Jonathan Edwards, Brendan Foster and Phil Jones on seven events: 7.15 Men’s 110m Hurdles semi-finals.

7.45 Women’s 1,500m semi-finals. 8.05 Women’s long jump final. 8.10 Men’s 200m semi-finals. 8.45 Women’s 400m hurdles final. 9.00 Women’s 200m final.

9.15 Men’s 110m hurdles final.

10.00 BBC News At Ten The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide.

10.30 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England.

10.40 Olympics Tonight Gabby Logan and guests reflect on those countries and athletes that have made an impact on day 12 of the Olympics, as the team competitions in particular arrive at the crucial medal stages.

Plus significant late evening action from across the Games.

12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00 – 7.05am Children’s television 7.05 Deadly 60 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 Olympics 2012 1.45 Escape To The Country 2.15 Flog It! 3.00 Ultimate Sports Day 3.30 Copycats 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 Jedward’s Big Adventure 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Olympics 2012 More action from across London on a day when 16 gold medals will be won.

7.00 Coast Coast embarks on an island-hopping adventure in Scotland around the stunning Western Isles and out to the northern outpost of Shetland.

8.00 Restoration Home The 16th century Old Manor in Norfolk is a hotchpotch of architectural styles. The Grade II Listed property is full of history, but beset by damp, woodworm and death watch beetle. It’s an overwhelming project to take on and yet new owners, Polly and Erich, are determined to turn this crumbling property into their dream home.

9.00 Vexed See highlights.

10.00 Olympics 2012 More action including the men’s boxing quarterfinals. The only British interest could be if light welterweight and world bronze medallist Thomas Stalker has reached this stage.

10.40 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.30 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 11.35 The Midwives: Make Me A Midwife Repeat from yesterday.

12.35am Sign Zone: DIY SOS: The Big Build 1.35 Sign Zone: Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 2.20 Food Factory 2.50 Real Rescues

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Charity plays dirty, backing Carl into a corner. Rachel agrees to the flat in Leeds.

7.30 The Lakes Observational documentary based in the Lake District. In this episode, the Lake District mountain rescue team are called out in the middle of the night to rescue a family caught on the fells.

8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot Novelist Ariadne Oliver attends a Hallowe’en party in Woodleigh Common and hears young Joyce Reynolds boast of having witnessed a murder years before. When the girl is discovered drowned in an applebobbing bucket later that evening, Ariadne calls on her old friend Hercule Poirot to investigate.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Dead Calm (1989) Starring Sam Neill, Nicole Kidman, Billy Zane. Psychological thriller. A doctor and his young wife embark on a yachting trip to help them recover from a family tragedy. They come across a half-sunken schooner and rescue the sole survivor, who claims that all his companions were struck down by food poisoning. But the stranger is not what he seems.

12.20am Jackpot247 2.05 FILM: Spartacus (1960) 5.10 ITV Nightscreen service.

5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.05am The Hoobs (x2) 6.55 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Presents...

London 2012: Stephen Miller Part III 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Will And Grace 8.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.55 Frasier 9.30 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Come Dine With Me 10.30 Come Dine With Me (x3) 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 12.35 Rescue Remedies 12.45 FILM: Billy Rose’s Jumbo (1962) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes is frustrated when she catches Dr Browning with another woman.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 SuperScrimpers See highlights.

9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital. This episode focuses on patients whose illnesses prove difficult to diagnose.

10.00 Secrets Of The Pickpockets Documentary telling the story of the unseen war on pickpockets fought by specialist teams within the Metropolitan and British Transport Police.

11.05 Random Acts 11.10 2 Broke Girls US sitcom.

Max and Caroline try to befriend their upstairs neighbour.

11.40 2 Broke Girls Sophie puts Max and Caroline through a series of tests to see if they’re good enough to work for her cleaning company.

12.10am New Girl 12.40 Summer Daze With Blackberry 1.05 MUSIC ON 4: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 1.20 Ibiza Rocks: Professor Green 1.35 Spotlight: Pop And Dance 1.50 4Play: Nervo 2.00 4Play: Swiss Lips 2.10 Home Road Movies 2.25 FILM: Mogambo (1953) 4.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Chopped 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Extraordinary Dogs 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.05 FILM: Impact: Part 2 (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Alison heads to Scotland to meet a collection of ugly monkeys, and golden-cheeked gibbon Mikado is introduced to his foster mum.

6.30 5 News 7.00 The Hotel Inspector Documentary series with hotelier Alex Polizzi. Alex visits Eastbourne and the Mansion Lions Hotel.

8.00 Britain’s Strangest Pets Documentary. Jack Heathcoat has converted his basement into a tropical, underwater world, thought to be the largest home aquarium in Britain.

9.00 Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Big Brother house. These exclusive highlights include all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room.

10.00 Fatima Whitbread: Growing Up In Care Documentary following Olympic medallist Fatima Whitbread as she meets young people in the UK’s care system and discusses her own childhood of growing up in care.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate, with special guests.

12.00am Harold Shipman: Born To Kill? 1.00 SuperCasino 3.55 Great Artists 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Masters Of European Football 9.30 PGA Championship 2010 Official Film 10.30 Ladies Tour Golf 11.30 Football Asia 12.00pm PGA Championship 2009 Official Film 1.00 PGA Championship 2010 Official Film 2.00 PGA Championship 2011 Official Film 3.00 Ladies Tour Golf 4.00 Sporting Greats: Sir Donald Bradman 4.30 LIVE CB40 Cricket 10.00 PGA Championship 2011 Official Film 11.00 Masters Of European Football 11.30 Futbol Mundial 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Futbol Mundial 1.30 Total Rugby 2.00 PGA Championship 2011 3.00 Boots ‘n’ All 4.00 Futbol Mundial 4.30 Total Rugby 5.00 PGA Championship 2011

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 8.00 World Match Racing Tour 9.00 Thrillseekers 9.30 Super League Backchat 10.00 Powerboats 10.30 World Match Racing Tour 11.30 British Motocross 12.30pm Powerboats 1.00 Football Asia 1.30 Masters Of European Football 2.00 ATP Tennis 4.00 LIVE: ATP Tennis 11.00 Champions Tour Golf 12.00am Inside The PGA Tour 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 British Motocross

Sky Sports 3 8.00am British Motocross 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Thrillseekers 1.30 Super League Backchat 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 World Cup Of Pool 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Masters Of European Football 7.30 Total Rugby 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 World Basketball 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Cage Fighter 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Cage Fighter 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Max Power Victoria Nangle

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ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

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1.00pm Got To Dance: Auditions (x3) 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 10.00 Spy 10.30 The Cafe 11.00 Cop Squad 12.00am My Holiday Hostage Hell

8.00am Total Wipeout 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 American Dad! (x2) 1.30 FILM: Butterfly On A Wheel (2007) 3.00 Girl Power: Going For Gold 4.00 Olympics’ Most Amazing Moments

7.00pm BBC World News 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1977 8.00 Ian Hislop Goes Off The Rails 9.00 A History Of Art In Three Colours 10.00 Arena: Routemasters! The Double Decker Bus Conductors. See highlights.

10.55 Lost Cities Of The Ancients 11.55 Borgen 12.55am Top Of The Pops: 1977

4.40pm The Real Housewives Of New York City 5.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 The Cube 8.00 America’s Got Talent: Results 9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Peter Andre 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.45 FILM: Happy Gilmore (1996) 12.40am The Only Way Is Essex

10.10am Monk 11.05 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 The Darling Buds Of May 3.15 Monk 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 FILM: Arthur 2: On The Rocks (1988) 10.15 A Touch Of Frost 12.25am Monk 1.15 Terry And June (x2)

3.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 4.00 Ugly Betty 5.00 How I Met Your Mother(x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: Fantastic Four (2005) 10.00 Celebrity Bedlam 10.35 Rude Tube 11.35 The IT Crowd 12.05am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Time Team Special 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 One Born Every Minute 11.10 Embarrassing Bodies 12.15am Come Dine With Me 1.15 One Born Every Minute

11.00am King Solomon’s Mines (1985) 1.00pm The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 2.55 The Spoilers (1955) 4.40 Battle For The Planet Of The Apes (1973) 6.25 Star Trek (1979) 9.00 Mission: Impossible (1996) 11.10 Harold And Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (2008) 1.05am Samson And Delilah (2009)

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Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim!

Fatboy Slim! Did we forget? Fatboy Slim!

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029_LS589_TV_thu_L7wed14apr.qxd 01/08/2012 13:19 Page 1

thursday 9 Hairy Dieters: How To Love Food And Lose Weight BBC2, 8pm Everybody knows the Hairy Bikers! They’re hairy, they’re bikers, and they love their food.

Yum! Yum! Yum! However, they’re not known for svelte waistlines.

Time for all that to change as Si and Dave embark on a campaign to lose two and a half stone in three months, but not the taste.

True Stories: America’s Animal Hoarder – Horror At The Zoo Channel 4, 10pm What happens when the hoarder programme meets the wildest pet show in the middle of suburbia, AND the animals are found wandering the streets? Oops!

More than ‘oops’, as in October last year such recklessness lead to 48 animals being shot dead.

Lemon La Vida Loca ITV2, 10pm Fly-on-the-wall spoof reality show starring monstrous pop culture creation Keith Lemon.

And you thought the shenanigans of Katie Price, that lot from Essex and The Osbournes were extreme. Keith introduces his girlfriend to his showbiz pals by hosting a dinner party. The food will be the only thing with taste.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.30 Olympics 2012 1.00pm BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00 BBC News At Six The latest national and international news stories from the BBC News team, followed by weather.

6.30 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England.

7.00 Olympics 2012 Gary Lineker and John Inverdale present another big night of athletics, as Usain Bolt aims to win the 200m title again and Britain’s Phillips Idowu goes for gold in the triple jump. With commentary

by Steve Cram, Paul Dickenson, Jonathan Edwards, Brendan Foster and Phil Jones on seven events: 7.20 Men’s triple jump final. 7.30 Women’s 800m semi-finals. 8.00 Men’s 800m final. 8.20 Women’s 4 x 100m relay round 1 heats. 8.55 Men’s 200m final.

9.00 Women’s javelin throw final.

9.20 Men’s decathlon 1,500m final.

10.00 BBC News At Ten The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide.

10.30 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features.

10.40 Olympics Tonight Gabby Logan presents a late evening of world-class sport and good conversation, with the day’s headline makers and guests from the sporting world and beyond.

12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday 12.55 Holiday Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00 – 6.30am Children’s television 6.30 The Adventures Of Abney And Teal 6.40 Octonauts 6.50 Rastamouse 7.05 Deadly 60 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 Olympics 2012 2.15 Flog It! 3.00 Ultimate Sports Day 3.30 Copycats 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 ROY 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Olympics 2012 More action from across the Games as all the team competitions reach a crucial stage.

7.00 Coast Neil searches for sea eagles, recently reintroduced to the island of Canna.

7.30 EastEnders Shirley makes a momentous life decision on the day of her sponsored abseil. Zainab takes on Lucy, Ray and Fatboy in a cook-off, while Lola enters Lexi in the baby competition on the Walford Community Day. 8.00 Hairy Dieters: How To Love Food And Lose Weight See highlights.

9.00 Wonderland Wonderland.

10.00 Olympics 2012 More action including news of Jade Jones and Martin Stamper in taekwondo and highlights of the second men’s hockey semi-final.

10.40 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Eddie Mair.

11.30 Amish: A Secret Life An intimate portrait of Amish family life and faith, following Old Order Amish couple Miriam and David and their family.

12.30am Sign Zone: Rats, Traps, Bugs And Cutbacks – Panorama 1.00 Sign Zone: Horizon: The Truth About Looking Young 2.00 Natural World 3.00 Real Rescues

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale It is Paddy and Rhona’s wedding day, but Paddy is missing his best man.

7.30 Proud To Be British: Tonight It is 40 years since the infamous Ugandan dictator Idi Amin ordered the expulsion of tens of thousands of Asians, forcing them to abandon everything and flee for their lives.

Many came to the UK, where in spite of a less than enthusiastic welcome they made a success of their lives. Tonight examines how, four decades later, they have changed the face of Britain.

8.00 Emmerdale Paddy and Marlon’s reconciliation does not last long.

8.30 Coronation Street A broken Tyrone turns on those trying to help him. Emily sends Tracy packing.

9.00 The Briefs Second of a twopart documentary which looks at the cut-throat world of criminal law.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Talent Show Story Victoria Wood narrates a documentary series looking at the history of talent shows on British TV. 11.35 Poms In Paradise Documentary series following some of the Brits who have settled in Australia’s Gold Coast.

12.00am Jackpot247 3.00 Proud To Be British: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle

Channel 4

6.05am Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... Ellie Simmonds 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Will And Grace 8.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Come Dine With Me (x5) 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 12.35 Quick Bakes With Eric Lanlard 12.55 FILM: Meet Me In St Louis (1944) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Following an anonymous tip-off, Mercedes faces some tough questions from the police about Lynsey’s murder.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 The Churchills Dr David Starkey tells the story of the two greatest war leaders in British history, both of whom were called Churchill. This programme shows how Winston drew on the lessons of John Churchill to fight World War II. 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live From The Clinic Enlightening medical show. In May and June of this year nearly a hundred patients consulted Dr Christian Jessen and Dr Dawn Harper for medical advice over the internet.

This programme catches up with a number of patients who took part.

10.00 True Stories: America’s Animal Hoarder – Horror At The Zoo See highlights.

11.20 Random Acts 11.25 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series.

12.30am Undercover Boss 1.25 Undercover At The News Of The World 2.20 A Short History Of Everything Else 2.50 Britain’s High Street Gamble: Channel 4 Dispatches 3.20 Apocalypse: The Second World War 4.20 Chrono-Perambulator 4.35 Countdown 5.15 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Chopped 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Extraordinary Dogs 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.10 Chinese Food In Minutes 3.15 FILM: Jane Doe – The Harder They Fall (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Alison collects ten stump-tailed macaques from a research facility in Edinburgh.

6.30 5 News 7.00 Cowboy Traders Documentary series about cowboy shop-owners and dodgy dealers. Dominic Littlewood and Melinda Messenger meet the couples who were taken for a ride by a bridal-shop owner with a long and chequered history.

8.00 The Angel Of Death: Born To Kill? Psychologists and experts in the field seek clues as to what prompted the awful crimes carried out by Beverley Allitt.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector Documentary series with hotelier Alex Polizzi. Run by father-and-son team Harry and Mark Pilgrim, the 29bedroom Meudon country-house hotel in Falmouth was once a sparkling jewel on the Cornish coast, boasting 8.5 acres of sub-tropical gardens leading down to the hotel’s private beach. Can Alex revive its fortunes?

10.00 Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Big Brother house.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate, with special guests.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 The Great Artists 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Masters Of European Football 9.30 PGA Championship 2011 Official Film 10.30 Boots ‘n’ All 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00pm PGA Championship 2011 Official Film 1.00 Champions Tour Golf 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 Inside The PGA Tour 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 PGA Championship 2011 Official Film 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Masters Of European Football 6.00 LIVE US PGA Golf 12.00am Masters Of European Football 12.30 Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Ringside 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 Ringside 4.30 IAAF Athletix 5.00 Super League Supermen

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 Champions Tour Golf 9.00 World Cup Of Pool 10.00 Total Rugby 10.30 Inside The PGA Tour 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00pm World Cup Of Pool 1.00 Masters Of European Football 1.30 The Premiership Years 3.30 Live CB40 Cricket 9.30 WWE: Late Night Raw 11.30 WWE NXT 12.30am Racemax 1.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 2.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.30am FIBA World Basketball 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 FIBA World Basketball 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 ATP Tennis 4.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 11.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 11.30 IAAF Athletix 12.00am NRL Fulltime 12.30 Super League Supermen 1.30 Close

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More4

Film4

1.00pm Got To Dance: Auditions (x3) 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Sinbad 9.00 Mount Pleasant 10.00 Ultimate Road Wars 11.00 Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK 12.00am My Holiday Hostage Hell

6.25am The Real Hustle: Celebrity Chancers 6.55 Great Movie Mistakes 7.55 Total Wipeout 8.55 Olympics 2012 12.45pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 EastEnders 11.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 12.30am Family Guy (x2) 1.15 American Dad! (x2) 2.00 Live At The Electric (x5)

7.00pm BBC World News London Live 7.30 LIVE: BBC Proms 2012: A Fantasia Of English Music 9.10 The Story Of Musicals 10.10 Sinatra Sings 11.10 Frost On Interviews 12.10am Nature’s Microworlds 12.40 Lost Cities Of The Ancients 1.40 Sinatra Sings 2.40 The Story Of Musicals

5.35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 FILM: Land Of The Lost (2009) 9.00 Benidorm (x2) 10.00 Lemon La Vida Loca. See higlhights. 10.45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (x2) 11.45 Hell’s Kitchen USA (x2) 1.40am Planet’s Funniest Animals

10.10am Monk 11.05 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 The Darling Buds Of May 3.15 Monk 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Eternal Law 12.05am Murder, She Wrote

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 2 Broke Girls 9.30 New Girl 10.00 The Midnight Beast 10.30 Franklin & Bash 11.30 Beaver Falls 12.30am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

11.40am FILM: The Thief (1952) 1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Time Team Special 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Hoarder Next Door 10.00 11.00 Father Ted(x2) 12.05am Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic

11.00am A Town Called Panic (2009) 12.30pm Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) 2.25 James And The Giant Peach (1996) 4.00 Journey To The Center Of The Earth (1959) 6.35 Chariots Of Fire (1981) 9.00 Terminator Salvation (2009) 11.10 Tekkonkinkreet (2006) 1.20am Johnny Mad Dog (2007) 3.20 Close

thelatest

.TV

Festival!10

www.thelatest.tv

See those amazing Carnival Queens, The Lady Boys Of Bangkok, in all their glamorous glory and hear their inspiring success story in Festival! 10

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friday 10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent Channel 4, 8pm What to do when you live in an area where house prices are nine per cent above the regional average and you still can’t sell your house? Ask the ever-smiling Mr Spencer for help of course!

How jolly. Pauline and Alan Jacks of Warrington are the receivers of tough love regarding quite how many cuddly toys is appropriate.

FILM: The Bourne Ultimatum ITV1, 10.35pm So... next week sees the reboot of the franchise claiming there was never just the one Jason Bourne, and thus not every Bourne flick need star Matt Damon. Tricksy. In case you wanted reminding as to the ins and outs of this claim, here is Mr Damon, with Albert Finney and Joan Allen, to explain it all so far.

2 Broke Girls E4, 8.30pm The skint New York sistas are back on cupcake track, making kosher treats for an Orthodox Jewish family’s bar mitzvah. Yay! That’ll be tasty, and good for the old business budget the gals are trying to acquire. Doesn’t stop them feeling broke though as Caroline worries about whether she can afford to get sick.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.30 Olympics 2012 1.00pm BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00 - 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Octonauts 6.50 Rastamouse 7.05 Deadly 60 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 Olympics 2012 2.00 Flog It! 3.00 Ultimate Sports Day 3.30 Ultimate Sports Day 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Olympics 2012 The penultimate night of athletics action, with six gold medals to be won including the women’s 1,500m; world silver medallist Hannah England will be hoping to be on the podium again, as will Lisa Dobriskey, who narrowly missed out in Beijing in 2008. Plus news of the evening’s boxing semifinals, the men’s football bronze medal match and the men’s 10m diving preliminaries, featuring Britain’s Tom Daley and Peter Waterfield. With commentary by Steve Cram, Paul Dickenson, Jonathan Edwards, Brendan Foster and Phil Jones on eight athletics events: 7.00 Men’s pole vault final.

7.10 Women’s 4 x 400m relay round 1 heats. 7.35 Women’s hammer throw final. 7.45 Men’s 4 x 100m relay round 1 heats. 8.05 Women’s 5,000m final. 8.40 Women’s 4 x 100m relay final. 8.55 Women’s 1,500m final.

9.20 Men’s 4 x 400m relay final.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.40 Olympics Tonight Gabby Logan and her guests reflect on the late night action and the stories of the day in the company of some of the headline makers.

12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00 Olympics 2012 More action.

7.00 Cairngorms: A Year In The Wild A lyrical and thought-provoking portrait of the harsh beauty and surprising wildlife of Scotland’s Cairngorms National Park.

8.00 Mastermind Four contestants are interrogated on a chosen subject, plus a general knowledge round.

8.30 Gardeners’ World As the garden reaches an abundance of growth in August, it’s the pond, hedges, and edges of the garden which are the focus of attention.

9.00 The Great British Story: A People’s History Exploring the United Kingdom’s remarkable past from the perspective of ordinary people. This final episode takes an overview of the momentous history between the jubilees of 1897 and 2012.

10.00 Olympics 2012 More boxing semi-final action, plus highlights of the women’s hockey final.

10.40 Newsnight 11.10 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.20 The Sarah Millican Television Programme Sarah Millican talks television.

11.50 EastEnders Phil and Ben are rocked by the news of Ian’s return.

1.20am FILM: Monk Dawson (1998) 3.05 Sign Zone: How To Live Beyond 100 3.50 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Battle lines are drawn between Paddy, Rhona and Marlon.

7.30 Coronation Street Steve’s distrust of Tracy has disastrous consequences. Tyrone takes his troubles out on Chesney.

8.00 The Food We Eat: Tonight First in a three-part series looking at our relationship with food. Julie Etchingham examines the impact of rising food prices on already tight family budgets and looks at how many people are changing their shopping habits in order to cut their grocery bills.

8.30 Coronation Street Guilt sets in as Tracy fights for her life. Mary is moved by Roy’s admission.

9.00 Benidorm Noreen checks in at The Solana – with her irritable daughter Pauline. Sam and Natalie hit a nightclub with Liam and mayhem ensues. Les/Lesley is settling in fine at the pool bar but is getting on Mateo’s nerves. The Garveys head off to a water park and when Noreen and Pauline show up events take an unexpected turn.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) See highlights.

12.35am The Store 2.40 FILM: The Birds (1963) 4.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Will And Grace 8.20 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.50 Frasier 9.25 Come Dine With Me 9.55 Come Dine With Me 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 12.35 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.50 FILM: Love Me Or Leave Me (1955) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jen has to choose between Tilly and her career.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent See highlights.

9.00 The Million Pound Drop Game show. Commemorating a historic summer of sport, teams of celebrity friends and noted athletes will play The Million Pound Drop with the challenge of raising as much money as they can for Paralympic and disability related charities.

10.35 The Angelos Epithemiou Show Angelos Epithemiou presents his own comedy entertainment show with best mate and sidekick Gupta.

Angelos interviews entrepreneur Theo Paphitis, who explains how he spends his money and reveals a very unusual hobby. Pop group Cover Drive perform their latest single, ‘Twilight’.

11.10 Friday Night Dinner Six-part sitcom about the Goodmans, a family who have made an art form of their eccentricities.

11.40 Celebrity Bedlam Comedian Lee Kern hosts a series of pranks in which celebrities are confronted with one outlandish set-up after another.

12.15am Random Acts 12.20 The Million Pound Drop 1.50 My Name Is Earl (x2) 2.35 Happy Endings (x2) 3.20 St Elsewhere 4.10 Countdown 4.55 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Little Princess 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Chopped 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Extraordinary Dogs 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Amber’s Story (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Series about Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. The staff prepares for two new woolly monkeys from Switzerland.

6.30 5 News 7.00 Britain’s Strangest Pets Documentary series exploring why pet owners choose to live with strange and sometimes dangerous animals.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads Hard-driving reality show.

Lisa, with GW at her side, tackles the section of the Death Road that previously defeated her.

9.00 Big Brother: Live Eviction Brian Dowling hosts all the drama and excitement from the Big Brother House as a housemate is evicted.

10.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side: Live From The Garden Emma Willis hosts a round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate, with special guests, exclusive footage and behind the scenes treats.

This special episode comes live from the Big Brother garden.

11.00 The Bachelor Reality series featuring Spencer Matthews. Just five girls remain in the running as Spencer continues the search for his dream woman.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Masters Of European Football 9.30 US PGA Golf 12.30pm Ringside 1.30 US PGA Golf 4.30 Ringside 5.30 Masters Of European Football 6.00 LIVE US PGA Golf 12.00am Masters Of European Football 12.30 LIVE Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 IAAF Athletix 9.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 10.00 Ringside – 2012 So Far 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 NRL Fulltime 12.00pm Super League Supermen 1.00 Masters Of European Football 1.30 The Premiership Years 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.30 WWE: Raw 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Super League 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Super League

Sky Sports 3 9.00am The Premiership Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Racemax 2.00 IAAF Athletix 2.30 NRL Fulltime 3.00 Super League Supermen 4.00 ATP Tennis 6.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 10.00 Masters Of European Football 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 12.00am LIVE ATP Tennis 4.00 Thrillseekers 4.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 5.00 Tight Lines

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

1.00pm Got To Dance (x3) 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons 7.30 Raising Hope 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Stella 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 11.00 Dog The Bounty Hunter 12.00am My Holiday Hostage Hell

6.30am The Real Hustle: Busted 7.00 Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 8.00 Total Wipeout 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 Britain Unzipped 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 American Dad! (x2) 1.30 Don’t Tell The Bride (x4)

7.00pm BBC World News 7.30 LIVE: BBC Proms 2012: Bruckner’s 6th Symphony 9.20 The Joy Of Disco 10.20 Disco At The BBC 11.20 Top Of The Pops: The Story Of 1976 12.10am Lionel Richie At The BBC 1.10 The Joy Of Disco 2.10 Disco At The BBC 3.10 Top Of The Pops: The Story Of 1976

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 The Real Housewives Of New York City 5.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 The Cube 8.00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (x2) 9.00 FILM: Billy Madison (1995) 10.50 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 12.20am Take Me Out

11.15am Murder, She Wrote (x2) 1.15pm Heartbeat 2.20 The Darling Buds Of May 3.25 Monk 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Monk 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 11.00 FILM: Psycho (1960) 1.10am The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Bribery And Corruption (x2)

4.00pm Ugly Betty 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 2 Broke Girls.

See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Hot Rod (2007) 10.50 Revenge 11.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.50am Scrubs

11.10am FILM: Oliver Twist (1948) 1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Time Team Special 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: The Sentinel (2006) 11.10 Coppers 12.15am Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic 1.20 Come Dine With Me

11.00am Challenge To Lassie (1949) 12.35pm Funny Face (1957) 2.40 Carry On Cabby (1963) 4.35 Rear Window (1954) 6.50 Bride And Prejudice (2004) 9.00 The Bank Job (2008) 11.10 Black Rain (1989) 1.35am 30 Days Of Night (2007)

thelatest

.TV

Festival! 18

www.thelatest.tv

Lynn Ruth Miller presents the best of Brighton Festival and Brighton Fringe on Festival! 18

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saturday 11 BBC Proms 2012: An Evening With Ivor Novello BBC2, 8pm In the 1930s not so many people would venture out to theatres of Drury Lanes – those dangerous bombs – but one man who has been credited with saving Theatreland from closing at the time is actor, writer and composer Ivor Novello. Simon Callow narrates the evening.

CSI: Miami Channel Five, 10.10pm It’s the last ever season of CSI: Miami so stay on the look out for ‘jumping the shark’ episodes where the baby is thrown out with the bathwater of plausibility in the name of gruesome entertainment. Tonight Horatio and the team encounter a new nemesis (read ‘criminal’) who removed the eyes of his victims.

LIVE: Olympics 2012 BBC3, 8pm So, you lost out on the Olympics ticket draw and you’ve spent the week at work and missed a few bits. Spend the evening diving into live Olympic coverage – literally, as the men’s 10m diving final is on tonight, followed by the first men’s boxing finals with five weights to be decided. All the excitement and utterly live.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Olympics 2012 2.30 Olympics 2012 5.15 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.30 Olympics 2012

7.15 Olympics 2012 Gary Linker, John Inverdale, Michael Johnson and Denise Lewis present coverage from day 15 of the Games, including the final six track athletics medal events, beginning with the men’s 5,000m. Mo Farah looks to repeat his gold medal succes from last year’s world championships and Jenny Meadows will be going for a medal in the women’s 800m final, with the evening finishing on the men’s 4x100m relay. The men’s 10m platform diving final follows. Can Tom Daley and Peter Waterfield reach the podium? Coverage as follows: 7.00 Women’s high jump final. 7.20 Men’s javelin throw final. 7.30 Men’s 5,000m final. 8.00 Women’s 800m final. 8.25 Women’s 4x400m relay final. 8.30 Men’s 10m platform final.

9.00 Men’s 4x100m relay final.

10.10 BBC News 10.30 National Lottery Saturday Night Draws The Thunderball, Dream Number and Lotto draws, live from Lottery HQ. 10.40 Olympics Tonight At the end of an action-packed day at the Games, Gabby Logan and her guests reflect on the expected and unexpected, the heroes and villains, those celebrating and those drowning their sorrows.

12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday 12.55 Weatherview forecast. 1.00 BBC News

6.00 – 6.35am Children’s television 6.35 Octonauts 6.45 Rastamouse 7.00 Roar 7.30 Project Parent 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.20 Dennis & Gnasher 8.35 The Slammer 9.00 Who Let The Dogs Out? 9.30 Incredible Edibles 10.00 Cop School 10.30 Copycats 11.00 Splatalot 11.25 OOglies 11.40 Diddy Movies 11.55 Animal Park 12.55pm FILM: The Journey Of Natty Gann (1985) 2.30 FILM: The Quick Gun (1964) 4.00 Escape To The Country 4.45 Antiques Road Trip 5.30 Entertaining The Troops 6.30 Flog It! Members of the public try to make money out of their antiques at auction.

In the picturesque market town of Nantwich, Cheshire, experts Will Axon and Kate Bliss join Paul Martin in valuing antiques.

7.30 Dad’s Army Classic sitcom about the Home Guard unit of Walmington-on-Sea. Capt.

Mainwaring receives a challenge from the Chief Warden to play his platoon at cricket. A team is mustered including Sgt Wilson, who is something of an all-rounder. L/Cpl Jones volunteers to keep the wicket.

But unbeknownst to Mainwaring, the wardens have signed up GC Egan who, were it not for the war, would be bowling for England. Featuring a guest appearance by English cricket legend Freddy Trueman.

8.00 BBC Proms 2012: An Evening With Ivor Novello See highlights.

9.20 London – The Modern Babylon 11.25 TOTP 2 Mark Radcliffe presents yet another of the Beeb’s most memorable moments, Thin Lizzy, Gotye, Siouxsie and The Banshees, Swing Out Sister, Tight Fit, New Order and The Rattles feature in this magical mix of fine performances which have graced the TOTP studios.

12.25am FILM: The Last Shot (2004)

ITV1

6.00 – 7.05am Children’s television 7.05 Curious George 7.20 Super Hero Squad Show 7.45 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.00 Horrid Henry 8.10 Horrid Henry 8.25 Saturday Cookbook 9.25 ITV News 9.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11.15 The Real Housewives Of New York City 12.15pm ITV News & Weather 12.25 All Star Family Fortunes 1.10 FILM: Wild Wild West (1999) 3.10 FILM: For Your Eyes Only (1981) 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News & Weather 6.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple When Miss Marple accompanies Lady Virginia Revel to a weekend party at country estate Chimneys, she finds herself in the middle of an important diplomatic gathering, which includes a number of Virginia’s suitors. The strange array of guests clashes over dinner and that night Count Ludwig of Austria is found dead. When Miss Marple and Chief Inspector Finch discover a coded message and the remains of a murdered servant, Marple realises the secret of Chimneys is even darker than she imagined.

8.00 Midsomer Murders A row between keen birdwatchers in Midsomer-in-the-Marsh turns nasty when their president is killed. Patrick Morgan met his death while hoping to sight a rare bird, but is his obsession with ornithology to blame or something more sinister?

10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 Mad Mad World 10.50 Take Me Out Dating show with Paddy McGuinness. The single ladies are in for a shock when mildmannered care worker Stephen comes down in the love lift. Will the girls be able to see past this charming man’s outrageous secret or will he be a blackout?

12.00am The Store 2.05 In Plain Sight 2.50 ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

6.05 – 9.15am Children’s television 9.15 V Festival: The Countdown 9.50 New Girl 10.20 Revenge 11.20 Suburgatory 11.55 Summer Daze With Blackberry 12.25pm The Big Bang Theory 12.55 The Big Bang Theory 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 4.10 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... London 2012: Danielle Brown Part III 4.15 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.45 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.20 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.20 Channel 4 News 6.50 4thought.tv 6.55 FILM: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (2008) Starring Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Julia Ormond, Taraji P Henson, Jason Flemyng. Remarkable fantasy drama telling the story of a man who ages in reverse. Born with the appearance of a wrinkled old man in the last days of World War I, Benjamin Button’s mother dies in childbirth and he is abandoned by his horrified father.

Benjamin is taken in by a sympathetic couple, and as he advances in years he regresses physically and mentally, with bizarre consequences.

10.00 The Million Pound Drop Game show. Final episode of the Celebrity Games run of The Million Pound Drop in which teams of celebrity friends and noted athletes from the Olympic Games, Paralympic Games and other sporting fields play to raise as much money as they can for Paralympic and disability related charities. Tonight Irish entertainers Jedward and cricketers Stuart Broad and James Anderson do their best.

11.50 FILM: A Prophet (2008) Starring Tahar Rahim, Niels Arestrup, Adel Bencherif, Reda Kateb, Hichem Yacoubi and Gilles Cohen. Awardwinning French prison drama.

2.35am The Million Pound Drop 4.10 Happy Endings 4.30 Countdown 5.15 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.15 The Mr Men Show 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Power Rangers: Samurai 10.35 Batman: The Brave And The Bold 11.10 Looney Tunes 11.15 Animal Rescue Squad 11.35 Big Brother: Live Eviction 12.35pm Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 1.35 FILM: Sands Of The Kalahari (1965) 3.35 FILM: Jesse Stone: Sea Change (2007) 5.20 FILM: Avalanche Express (1979) 6.55 5 News Weekend 7.10 NCIS US drama. The murder of a Muslim marine points towards a possible al-Qaeda terrorist cell operating on US soil. However, the investigation is hampered by Ducky’s refusal to perform an autopsy on the victim.

8.10 NCIS Drama series. The agents are staking out a warehouse in connection with some stolen Navy radar equipment when they stumble upon a murder.

Elsewhere, Ducky is keeping a secret from the rest of the team.

9.00 Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Big Brother house. These exclusive highlights include all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room.

10.10 CSI: Miami See highlights.

11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Las Vegas-based forensic drama. The CSIs investigate the stabbing of a motocross racer who was about to leave town with his girlfriend. Nick comes closer to finding out the truth about his kidnapping.

12.05am SuperCasino 4.00 HouseBusters 4.25 Divine Designs 4.50 Rough Guide To Islands 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Cricket 8.30 Sporting Greats 9.00 Sporting Greats 9.30 US PGA Golf 12.00pm LIVE Football 3.00 Ringside - 2012 So Far 4.00 LIVE US PGA Golf 12.00am Football 12.30 LIVE Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 Ringside - 2012 So Far 8.00 Super League 10.00 WWE: Smackdown 12.00pm WWE: The Bottom Line 1.00 US PGA Golf 3.30 ATP Tennis 4.30 LIVE Super League 7.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 9.00 Scottish Premier League 9.30 Super League 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 LIVE ATP Tennis 1.30am Super League 3.00 Scottish Premier League 3.30 Max Power 4.30 Super League

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 ATP Tennis 12.00pm U19 Cricket World Cup 1.30 Live CB40 Cricket 7.30 U19 Cricket World Cup 9.00 WWE: Late Night Superstars 10.00 WWE NXT 11.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Scottish Premier League 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

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kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm Chris And Wes: Let’s Do This (x2) 1.00 Modern Family 1.30 The Middle 2.00 Modern Family 2.30 The Middle 3.00 Futurama (x8) 7.00 Terra Nova 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 FILM: The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear (1991) 10.40 Stella 11.40 Road Wars 12.40am 99 Most Bizarre...

6.00am Olympics 2012 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 8.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012.

See highlights.

11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am FILM: Absolute Power (1997) 2.25 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.55 Live At The Electric 3.25 Britain Unzipped

7.00pm Africa’s Magnificent Beasts 8.00 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Tsunamis 9.00 Wallander (x2) 10.55 Top Of The Pops: 1977 11.25 Dear Censor: The Secret Archive Of The British Board Of Film Classification - Timeshift 12.25am 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Tsunamis

12.35pm Models, Misfits & Mayhem 1.35 Holiday Showdown 2.35 America’s Got Talent: Performance and Results 5.25 FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 7.15 FILM: Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) 9.00 The Xtra Factor Rewind 10.00 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) 12.25am FILM: Batman Forever (1995)

8.35am Upstairs, Downstairs (x2) 10.55 FILM: Carry On Camping (1969) 12.35pm Inspector Morse 2.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.00 FILM: Carry On Jack (1963) 7.55 FILM: City Of Angels (1998) 10.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 12.10am FILM: Memphis Belle (1990)

2.05pm Scrubs (x2) 3.05 Desperate Housewives 4.00 Revenge 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 7.30 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 8.30 Suburgatory 9.00 FILM: The Waterboy (1999) 10.45 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.40 The Midnight Beast 12.15am The Cleveland Show

8.55am Time Team (x4) 1.05pm FILM: The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 4.05 River Cottage Bites 4.10 Location, Location, Location (x4) 8.00 Supersize vs Superskinny 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic 10.05 FILM: The Sentinel (2006) 12.15am Supersize vs Superskinny

11.00am The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) 1.00pm The First Wives Club (1996) 3.05 King Solomon’s Mines (1985) 5.05 Love Story (1970) 7.05 Big Momma’s House (2000) 9.00 The Ghost (2008) 11.30 Final Destination 3 (2006) 1.15am Day Watch (2006) 3.50 Close

“There was a great gig last night.”

“No, it was rubbish!” The verdict’s out at

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032_LS589_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 03/08/2012 09:31 Page 1

sunday 12 Olympics 2012: Closing Ceremony BBC1, 9pm After the Opening Ceremony what the closing ceremony will have in store is anybody’s guess.

Only scheduled for two and a half hours this time, you can bet the medal-winners will be beaming like Cheshire cats. Quite an achievement London and the UK, pat yourself on the back.

Thelma’s Gypsy Girls Channel 4, 9pm Thelma’s fashion design course for ten Gypsy and Traveller ladies is coming to a close, and an allegation of racism in the factory sours the mood. The girls have their last challenge – to design and showcase their own dresses on the catwalk. To prepare they go to a fashion museum, where cultural differences arise again.

FILM: Fantastic Four E4, 8pm The last few weeks have been filled with superheroes – running around tracks, rowing, lifting weights – and so with the close of the Olympics it might just be time to return to our fictitious heroes, leaving us feeling less inadequate (but also less likely to go to the gym). The 2005 Marvel flick about the dangers of space.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 10.45 BBC News 10.50 Olympics 2012 1.20pm Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00am Postman Pat 6.15 Timmy Time 6.25 The Adventures Of Abney And Teal 6.35 Octonauts 6.45 Rastamouse 7.00 Roar 7.30 Paradise Cafe 7.55 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.20 Dennis & Gnasher 8.30 Wingin’ It 8.50 Shaun The Sheep 9.00 Who Let The Dogs Out? 9.30 Junior Bake Off 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman 12.30pm Escape To The Country 1.15 Olympics 2012 3.40 Flog It! 4.25 Eisteddfod Highlights 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 Coast

7.00 BBC News The latest national and international news stories from the BBC News team.

7.15 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England.

7.30 Olympics 2012 Truly lots of activities being rounded up in the biggest sporting event this country has hosted in decades. It’s been a busy time and we’ve collected hard won medals, as well as news stories and new national heroes. Here’s hoping the arenas, sports grounds and other investments continue to be used by the Capital. On your marks...

9.00 Olympics 2012: Closing Ceremony 2012. See highlights.

11.30 BBC News The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide.

11.50 Live At The Apollo Series of cutting-edge stand-up comedy recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo.

12.35am The Sky At Night The world of astronomy with Patrick Moore.

12.55 Weatherview Detailed weather forecast.

1.00 BBC News BBC One joins the BBC’s rolling news channel for a night of news, with bulletins on the hour and the headlines every 15 minutes.

6.00 Oceans: Indian Ocean In the first of two episodes in the rich tropical waters of the Indian Ocean, the team explores its remote and pristine underwater worlds.

7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team of experts pay a return visit to Tatton Park in Cheshire.

8.00 Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure Cookery series in which Ken Hom and Ching He-Huang travel across China, taking in her food, people, history and culture. They explore the effects of sweeping modernisation in China’s fastest growing city, Chengdu.

9.00 The Dark: Nature’s Nighttime World Natural history series revealing a new perspective on nocturnal wildlife. The expedition culminates at the wild, windswept tip of South America. Camerawoman Justine Evans attempts to film the hunting behaviour of the puma, the widestranging of all big cats in the Americas.

10.00 FILM: Glorious 39 (2009) Starring Romola Garai, Eddie Redmayne, Bill Nighy, Juno Temple, David Tennant. Drama. In the summer of 1939, with Britain on the brink of war, the idyllic life of young Anne Keyes is destabilized by her suspicion she has stumbled upon a sinister, high-level plot.

12.05am FILM: Sirens (1994)

ITV1

6.00am Boblins 6.10 Fireman Sam 6.20 Olly The Little White Van 6.30 Jungle Junction 6.40 Jungle Junction 6.55 Poppy Cat 7.05 Curious George 7.20 Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 7.30 Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 7.45 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.00 Big Time Rush 8.25 Dinner Date 9.25 House Gift 10.25 There’s No Taste Like Home 11.25 The Hungry Sailors 12.25pm ITV News & Weather 12.30 Grimefighters 1.00 Community Shield Live 3.50 FILM: Escape To Victory (1981) 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill guides you through another amazing collection of hilarious clips.

6.30 Meridian News; Weather 6.45 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot Drama based on Agatha Christie’s novel. Poirot is attending his friend Sir Charles Cartwright’s dinner party when one of the guests chokes to death on a cocktail. There is no trace of poison, and no apparent motive, which leaves the Belgian sleuth baffled. Weeks later, another man dies in the same way at a dinner party with many of the same guests present – and this time there is more evidence. Can Poirot and his little grey cells solve the mystery?

9.00 A Touch Of Frost The second in a two-part story which closes the book on this long-running series. The past is catching up with Frost in more ways than one as a series of copycat crimes convinces Superintendent Mullett that his veteran DI’s life is in danger.

11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 Community Shield Highlights Matt Smith presents highlights of the Community Shield as Premier League champions Manchester City face FA Cup winners Chelsea at Villa Park.

12.20am The Briefs 1.15 The Store 3.00 Goldenballs 3.50 Motorsport UK 4.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.10am Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra 6.35 Outlaw Triathlon 7.30 Surfing Special: Endless Winter 7.55 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present Hannah Cockroft 2012 Part III 8.00 Will And Grace 8.30 Will And Grace 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Frasier 10.00 Sunday Brunch 12.25pm The Big Bang Theory 12.55 The Big Bang Theory 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 The Simpsons 2.25 FILM: Nine Months (1995) 4.20 FILM: Entrapment (1999)

6.25 Deal Or No Deal Noel Edmonds asks the all-important question as contestants do battle with the Banker in their quest to leave the Dream Factory with £250,000.

7.25 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Come Dine With Me Cookery-based reality show. In Enfield, burlesque starlet Charlie Hunt, Cypriot Maria Theodorou, entrepreneur Wesley Singh and Habiba Hrida compete to be crowned the ultimate dinner party host. While Charlie dazzles with her food and some racy entertainment, Habiba does not approve of the nudity on show. Habiba opts to host a night of impromptu ‘rockabilly poetry.

9.00 Thelma’s Gypsy Girls See highlights.

10.25 FILM: Wedding Crashers (2005) Starring Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Christopher Walken, Rachel McAdams, Isla Fisher, Jane Seymour.

Romantic comedy. John and Jeremy, two Washington womanisers and best friends who specialise in the art of gate crashing weddings to find one-night stands, set their sights on the social event of the year - the lavish ceremony of one of the US Treasury Secretary’s daughters.

12.45am FILM: Norwegian Wood (2010) 3.00 Perfect 3.10 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.20 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 - 8.15am Children’s television 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.40 Rupert Bear 8.55 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.10 The Mr Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Power Rangers: Samurai 10.35 Batman: The Brave And The Bold 11.10 Looney Tunes 11.15 Big Brother 12.25pm FILM: The Adventures Of Sharkboy And Lavagirl (2005) 2.10 FILM: Tinkerbell And The Great Fairy Rescue (2010) 3.40 FILM: The Karate Kid Part II (1986) 5.50 FILM: The Goonies (1985) 7.55 5 News Weekend 8.00 Once Upon A Time Fantasy drama. Geppetto is asked to construct a wardrobe, Pinocchio is tasked with looking after baby Emma and August’s identity is revealed. Meanwhile, Regina tries to seduce Mary Margaret’s lover David and Emma takes drastic action to remove Henry from Regina’s clutches. So much more complicated that a regular storybook.

9.00 Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Big Brother house. These exclusive highlights include all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room.

10.00 FILM: Cradle 2 The Grave (2003) Starring Jet Li, DMX , Kelly Hu, Mark Dacascos, Tom Arnold, Anthony Anderson and Gabrielle Union. Action thriller in which the head of a crime syndicate forms an unlikely alliance with a special agent from Taiwan when the criminal’s daughter is kidnapped in the aftermath of a diamond heist.

12.05am America’s Toughest Prisons Documentary series that unlocks the doors of the United States’ most notorious prisons.

1.05 SuperCasino 4.00 Sons Of Anarchy 4.45 Rough Guide To Adventures 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Cricket 8.30 Sporting Greats 9.00 Football 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Football League 12.00pm Football League 1.00 Scottish Cup Final 2.00 Football League: Championship 3.00 UEFA Champions League 4.00 LIVE US PGA Golf 12.00am Sporting Greats 12.30 Live Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Scottish Premier League 7.00 Super League 8.30 US PGA Golf 11.00 U19 Cricket World Cup 12.30pm US PGA Golf 3.00 U19 Cricket World Cup 4.30 ATP Tennis 6.00 Scottish Cup Final 7.00 UEFA Champions League 8.00 Football League: Championship 9.00 Football League 10.00 Football League 11.00 UEFA Champions League 12.00am LIVE ATP Tennis 2.30 Sporting Greats 3.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Armoy Road Race Motorcycling 8.00 Armoy Road Race Motorcycling 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 ATP Tennis 12.30pm Super League 2.00 Grand Prix Speedway 5.00 The Premiership Years 7.00 ATP Tennis 8.30 U19 Cricket World Cup 10.00 ATP Tennis 11.30 Sporting Greats 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 The Premiership Years 3.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.10pm Futurama (x3) 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Raising Hope 7.00 Sinbad 8.00 Terra Nova 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 10.00 Strike Back: Project Dawn 11.00 Spartacus 12.15am Emergency With Angela Griffin

6.00am Olympics 2012 9.00 Olympics 2012 3.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 Top Gear 8.10 FILM: War Of The Worlds (2005) 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Olympics’ Most Amazing Moments 1.25am Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 2.25 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents

7.00pm Pop Go The Sixties 7.05 Himalaya With Michael Palin 8.05 Reputations 9.00 Frankie Howerd: Rather You Than Me 10.00 Parkinson: The Interviews 10.35 Omnibus 11.25 Wilderness Explored 12.25am The Joy Of Disco 1.25 Top Of The Pops: The Story Of 1976 2.15 Himalaya With Michael Palin

12.40pm Winners & Losers 1.30 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 3.00 The Xtra Factor: Best & Worst (x3) 6.00 The Xtra Factor Rewind 7.00 FILM: Land Of The Lost (2009) 9.00 Benidorm 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.45 Lemon La Vida Loca 11.30 FILM: Analyze This (1999) 1.35am The Only Way Is Essex

12.20pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.25 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 3.35 FILM: City Of Angels (1998) 5.45 FILM: Arthur 2: On The Rocks (1988) 8.00 Forensic Casebook With Matthew Kelly (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Birds (1963) 11.25 Cracker 12.35am Rosemary And Thyme 1.35 Blue Murder 2.45 Carry On Laughing

1.55pm How I Met Your Mother 2.20 Ugly Betty 3.15 Charlie’s Angels 4.15 New Girl 4.40 Suburgatory 5.10 Revenge 6.05 The Big Bang Theory (x4) 8.00 FILM: Fantastic Four (2005).

See highlights. 10.05 Rude Tube 11.05 2 Broke Girls 11.35 New Girl 12.05am The Inbetweeners 12.35 Beaver Falls 1.40 The Event

12.25pm Time Team 1.25 Secrets Of The Saxon Hoard: A Time Team Special 2.30 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 River Cottage Every Day 9.00 One Born Every Minute 10.00 Father Ted (x2) 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic 12.15am One Born Every Minute 1.15 River Cottage Every Day

11.00am The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 1.00pm Inspector Gadget (1999) 2.35 Holy Man (1998) 4.50 Battle For The Planet Of The Apes (1973) 6.35 The Day After Tomorrow (2003) 9.00 Top Gun (1986) 11.10 Inglourious Basterds (2009) 2.10am Nothing Personal (1995) 3.55 Close

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033_LS589_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 03/08/2012 12:20 Page 1

monday 13 Celebrity MasterChef BBC2, 6.30pm It seems an age since we’ve enjoyed the wit and eloquence of John Torode and Gregg Wallace.

Fear not, they have returned to put more celebrities through their paces. First up we get to see Jamie Theakston, Anne Charleston and Javine Hylton wrestle with a black cabbage, beetroot and a whole gurnard.

Escape From Colditz Channel 4, 9pm Apparently there was a plan by British POWs to fly a glider off the roof of the infamous prison, but they never got the chance to try it as the war ended. Damn it.

So to see if it would have worked engineer Hugh Hunt and an aeronautics team rebuild the craft in the same attic from the same materials. But it’s 2012!

The Premier League’s Most Amazing Moments BBC3, 8.30pm With the Olympics only just finished it must be time to start thinking about football again.

How have we survived so long without it? Starting to feel the withdrawal? Maybe you need a two-hour journey through some of the Premier League’s best bits?

Try and guess what they’ll be too.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.30 Animal 24:7 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 I Want My Own Room 3.35 Splatalot 4.00 Copycats 4.25 Shaun The Sheep Championsheeps 4.30 Project Parent 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex Jones bring you the stories.

7.30 Food Factory Stefan Gates reveals whether energy drinks really work and why some honey is runny.

7.57 BBC News: Regional News 8.00 EastEnders With Ian under the same roof as Ben, tensions are running high as Phil is determined to contain the truth about Heather.

8.30 Justice Denied: The Greatest Scandal? – Panorama Panorama helped clear the Cardiff Three, now they investigate why the trial against the officers accused of perverting the course of justice collapsed.

9.00 EastEnders Sharon begs Phil to help her and Shirley could have found Heather’s killer.

9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Comedy series about a loudmouthed Irish matriarch and her family.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport: Uncut With Sue Barker asking questions.

11.10 Room 101 – Extra Storage Frank Skinner invites celebs to get their pet hates in Room 101.

11.50 FILM: Raising Helen (2004) A high-flying career woman has to look after her sister’s three children.

1.40am Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: Great British Islam 2.15 Holby City 3.15 Coast 4.15 BBC News BBC

BBC2

6.00am – 9.10am Children’s television 9.10 Little Charley Bear 9.20 Raa Raa The Noisy Lion 9.30 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Lunar Jim 10.05 Kerwhizz 10.30 Driver Dan’s Story Train 10.40 Woolly & Tig 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Animal Park 12.05pm FILM: The Gay Falcon (1941) 1.10 FILM: A Date With The Falcon (1941) 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Real Rescues 3.45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz where a team of challengers take a top quiz team in Britain.

6.30 Celebrity MasterChef See highlights.

7.00 Escape To The Country A series in which experts help prospective buyers to find their dream home in the country.

8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions as two teams of students battle it out.

8.30 Lorraine’s Fast, Fresh And Easy Food The idea of cooking dinner without resorting to a packet or a jar might fill many of us with dread, but Lorraine’s no-nonsense approach provides accessible solutions for every occasion.

9.00 The Riots: In Their Own Words Revisiting the riots of summer 2011 with new footage and testimony from all groups involved in the chaos.

10.00 James May’s Things You Need To Know... James May goes on an intriguing journey to answer the big questions about life, the universe and the human body.

10.30 Newsnight Investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler.

11.20 The Dark: Nature’s Nighttime World Dr George McGavin leads a team poking around in natures dark places.

12.20am BBC News.

4.15 The Super League Show

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Let’s Do Lunch With Gino & Mel 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Secret Dealers 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News: Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Moira is confused after her one night stand with Alex.

7.30 Coronation Street Michelle turns to Steve as her fears about Ryan persist.

8.00 Countrywise The team visits the centre of Wales and finds a stunning landscape of towering dams and tranquil valleys.

8.30 Coronation Street Steve causes anguish for the women in his life as his lies start to unravel.

9.00 Ruth Rendell’s Thirteen Steps Down Part one of a two-part psychological thriller. Fantasy and reality merge as pent-up violence is released when a young man with a disturbed past begins to inhabit the spirit of a long-dead murderer.

10.00 ITV News At Ten: Weather 10.35 Real Crime With Mark Austin: Bringing Down The Gooch The story of how a specialist police team arrested the leaders of one of Britain’s most feared gangs, which led to a 90 per cent reduction in gun crime in Manchester and established a model now adopted by other forces.

11.35 In Plain Sight Agent Mike Faber returns to Mary’s life when he gives her a key new witness.

12.30am Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.15am The Hoobs (x2) 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Will And Grace 8.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Come Dine With Me 9.55 Come Dine With Me (x4) 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 1.05 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... 2012: Will Bayley Part III 1.10 Quick Bakes With Eric Lanlard 1.20 FILM: The Colditz Story (1954) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons Homer becomes Springfield’s safety guru.

6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes resorts to more dirty tricks in the hope of winning Riley’s affections.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Tricks Of The Dole Cheats: Channel 4 Dispatches Investigation into the scams used to fraudulently claim benefits. With the help of jobseekers and a former insider, Morland Sanders shows the tricks used to cheat the system.

8.30 Simply Italian Welsh-born Italian Michela Chiappa explores some variations of pasta, starting with Gnocchi Tricolore served with a creamy hazelnut sauce.

9.00 Escape From Colditz See highlights.

10.35 Secrets Of The Pickpockets Telling the story of the unseen war on fought by teams within the Met and British Transport Police. The Olympics brought millions of visitors to London from around the world, giving gangs plenty of easy pickings.

11.40 Coming Up: If We Dead Awaken An ex-KGB spy seeks a second chance with a lost love.

12.10am Embarrassing Bodies: Live From The Clinic 1.10 The Good Wife 1.55 The Big C 2.20 Happy Endings 2.45 Reasons To Be Cheerful 2.55 FILM: The Red Pony (1949) 4.25 Countdown 5.10 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Castle Farm 9.00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Chopped 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Hero Animals 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: A Nanny’s Secret (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Baby goldencheeked gibbon, Mikado, moves in with his new foster mum Alex.

6.30 5 News 7.00 Cowboy Builders Melinda Messenger and Dominic Littlewood come to the rescue of homeowners who have been let down by builders.

8.00 Frontline Police Former police officer Rav Wilding joins officers in Essex Police’s Specialist Operations Units at an English Defence League march in Luton, a binge drinker in need of emergency treatment, an armed siege and a drugs bust on three houses in the same street.

9.00 Big Brother Catch up on the arguments and friendships from the Big Brother house.

10.30 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round-up of news and debate, with special guests and exclusive footage.

11.30 FILM: Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997) Send-up of 1960s spy films as the cryogenically preserved secret agent is revived in the 1990s. Powers is disappointed to find that his vocabulary, fashion sense and attitude to women are hopelessly out of date. Starring Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley and Robert Wagner.

1.10am SuperCasino 3.55 The Great Artists 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Cricket 8.30 Masters Of European Football 9.00 US PGA Golf 12.00pm Cricket 1.30 Masters Of European Football 2.00 US PGA Golf 5.00 UEFA Champions League 6.00 Masters Of European Football 6.30 From The Terraces: The Final Day 7.30 LIVE Football: Capital One Cup Special 10.00 From The Terraces: The Final Day 11.00 SPL Round-Up 11.30 Masters Of European Football 12.00am Sporting Greats 12.30 Live Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Super League Full Time 10.00 Super League 12.00pm Grand Prix Speedway 3.00 Cricket 4.30 LIVE CB40 Cricket 10.00 Cricket 11.30 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 12.30am Football: Capital One Cup Special 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 From The Terraces: The Final Day 4.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 UEFA Champions League 9.00 Premier League Years 11.00 Football League: Championship 12.00pm Football League 1.00 Premier League Years 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 WWE: Raw 6.00 Super League Full Time 7.00 Thrillseekers 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 10.30 Thrillseekers 11.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE: Late Night Afterburn 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 Thrillseekers 4.45 Aerobics: Oz Style 5.15 Close

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

1.30pm Got To Dance: Live Semi-Final 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A League Of Their Own 9.00 Cop Squad 10.00 Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena 11.15 Road Wars 12.15am Strike Back: Project Dawn

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid?

7.30 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 8.30 The Premier League’s Most Amazing Moments 10.30 EastEnders (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am American Dad! (x2) 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.30 Live At The Electric 2.00 FILM: Absolute Power (1997)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Wilderness Explored 8.30 Nature’s Microworlds 9.00 Growing Children 10.00 Racing Dreams 11.20 A Century Of Fatherhood 12.20am A History Of Art In Three Colours 1.20 Nature’s Microworlds 1.50 Growing Children 2.50 Racing Dreams

4.40pm The Real Housewives Of New York City 5.35 Judge Judy 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 The Xtra Factor Rewind 8.00 The Cube: Gold Medallist Special 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Lemon La Vida Loca 10.45 FILM: Something’s Gotta Give (2003) 1.15am Planet’s Funniest Animals

12.10pm Murder, She Wrote 1.10 Heartbeat 2.10 Hamish Macbeth 3.20 Monk 4.20 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 An Audience With Lionel Richie 10.00 Taggart 11.05 Murder In Suburbia 12.10am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

3.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 4.00 Ugly Betty 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 New Girl 8.30 Suburgatory 9.00 Revenge 10.00 Beaver Falls 11.00 The Inbetweeners 11.35 Celebrity Bedlam 12.05am Big Bang Theory

11.30am FILM: Please Sir! (1971) 1.25pm Time Team (x2) 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Jimmy’s Forest 10.00 What Is My Body Worth? 10.35 Embarrassing Bodies 11.40 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 12.45am Grand Designs (x2)

11.00am 20 Million Miles To Earth (1957) 12.40pm Guns At Batasi (1964) 2.45 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 4.50 The Thirty-Nine Steps (1978) 7.00 The Rocker (2008) 9.00 Mission: Impossible (1996) 11.10 Jackie Brown (1997) 2.05am Deficit (2007) 3.50 Close

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