Latest 7: No 571

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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

The Vote Show

H jobs H news H food H listings H tv guide H

Political debate show, The Vote, returns, discussing the city’s hottest issues: parking, pedestrianisation, shopping and markets. Watch it now at:

thelatest.tv

3 – 9 April 2012

FREE WEEKLY

GREAT DAYS OUT Things to do across Sussex this Easter

Field of dreams

JAMES CAMERON On the hugely anticipated release of Titanic 3D TRAUMA AT THE ROYAL SUSSEX The RSCH becomes the trauma centre for the South East

Speech Debelle joins Lamb and a crop of fine talent at this year’s Meadowlands Festival page 19

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(includes a glass of wine/beer before 7pm) *Sunday to Thursdays only 19 PRINCE ALBERT STREET, BRIGHTON 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk booking@gars.co.uk

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2012

CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

NEWS & COMMENT 04 Latest People Family Fringe launch, By The Seaside hair show, Sport Relief, and Arch 139 opens 06 Latest Brighton & Hove News & Jobs Frank le Duc reports on the new major trauma centre at RSCH; the loading ban on Western Road; a call for Brighton bloggers 07 Marina Life Rendezvous Casino launches the Red Room 12 Latest Opinion Bill Smith on the NHS and our banks 13 Celeb City Brian Harvey writes song for local girl; Amy Childs makes them cry at Holmbush; celebrities spotted 14 Sport: Brighton & Hove Albion Mark Brailsford on the Albion’s push for the play-offs, mascot Gully talks and the girls take home the cup 16 Bare Cheek Big Daddy Vs Giant Haystacks plays at The Rock 16 Mad Matt Matt decides two wheels good, four wheels bad 17 City Speak Ruby learns about a princess’s past, Tasha doesn’t feel the gift of giving and Will feels highly strung

3–9 APR 2012

>online

>on tv

thelatest.co.uk

thelatest.tv

Now online: read the latest blogs covering music, parenthood, beauty and everything Brighton (see page 9 for how to become a blogger for Latest); read features including celeb gossip in Celebcity, the latest news headlines, reviews and fantastic competitions. ‘Like’ the Latest 7 Facebook page and follow us on Twitter too.

It’s all at: www.thelatest.co.uk/7

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The Vote Show Brighton and Hove’s political programme, The Vote, returns with a debate about the city’s hottest issues.

Parking, pedestrianisation, shopping and markets all are debated by Frank le Duc’s guests. Chris Todd from Friends Of The Earth questions Mary Portas’ plan for reviving city centres saying it does not take into account the majority who get to shopping centres by walking or public transport. That is why we need Park and Ride says leader of Labour group Cllr Gill Mitchell who also reveals much of her ongoing report into shopping in the city.

All the latest homes are on

L7 INTERVIEW 18 James Cameron talks about the release of Titanic 3D

LIFESTYLE 19 Cover feature: Meadowlands Festival Speech Debelle headlines, Lamb play the field and much, much more from 1–3 June 19 Days out special Things to do this Easter with Brighton Walks, Middle Farm, Worthing Theatres and the Children’s Festival 23 Health & beauty Spring time pampering at Uniquely Organic EcoSpa, and why now’s the best time for laser hair removal 26 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink; Hotlist Andrew road tests Latest Dining Deals at Hotel Seattle

WHAT’S ON 28 Reviews & Bookings; Brighton Download Chart Journey To The X, An Audience With Pam Ayres 29 Latest Previews Dandy Dick at the Theatre Royal Brighton, The View release their forth album; Greg Davies’ new show 34 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes; Sanctuary; seven days of TV listings Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless

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Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Conservative Cllr Andrew Wealls puts the case for retailers who are worried about high car parking charges and high business rates in the city. Some extraordinary government information films are revealed by The Treason Show’s Mark Brailsford and we discover what shops our guests worked in and Chris gives us all a surprise...

The Vote show is at thelatest.tv Bill Smith, Managing Director, Latest TV If you want to be part of Brighton’s TV channel come to our open democratic meetings at Latest MusicBar every Monday at 5.30pm.

With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website For details of advertising opportunities with latesthomes.co.uk please contact Lynne Edwards tel: 01273 818150 lynne@thelatest.co.uk

Watch our shows at www.thelatest.tv

latesthomes.co.uk/brighton ‘Like’ Latest 7 on Facebook Editor Zara Baker Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess Sub Editors Chris Dyer Jenny Gunston Rachel Junior

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Anand Day Andrew Wright Work experience Ciaran Bushby Beth Hinchliffe

Illustrators Paul Lewis Jake McDonald Neil Webb Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

latest brighton the digital capital of europe

01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

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04

LATEST PEOPLE

latestPEOPLE

Sport Relief 2012, Family Fringe launch, a new name for Due South & the ‘By The Seaside’ hair show

Arch 139

By The Seaside

Saturday 24 March saw the relaunch of popular seafront restaurant, Due South, to the new name of Arch 139.

Its new owner Adam Brian is offering a new, more relaxed atmosphere, retaining the head chef Michael Bremner and his top-notch dishes sourced with care and integrity.

The idyllic spot has a seasonal menu of local and organic food, and serves seafood, wild game and naturally reared free range meat, alongside a delicious selection of vegetarian dishes.

Words & photos: Diana Frangi

City College Brighton & Hove held their annual hair show showcasing the work of students from the hairdressing Level 1, 2 and 3 courses. This year’s event, held on Wednesday 28 March, was called ‘By The Seaside’. Hair design was given a nautical twist with super stylish styles to the downright creative that Ladgy Gaga would love. From Neapolitan ice-cream styles to an impressive seagull, this was a fun night marking the achievements of the students work so far.

Photos: Diana Frangi

Head Chef Michael Bremner, Manager Stassia Christopheros

Rachel Turner (Team Leader Hairdresser), James Mettyear (Vice Principal, Learning & Quality), Keith Steven Turner (Senior Lecturer)

Tony Meadows, Mayor Anne Meadows, Frances Franklin (Director of Retail)

Sarah Marks, Rae Turner

Models: CameliaPetco, Kelly Bradford, Chloe Markwick

John Ruiz, Katy Rodgers, Denis Shard

Sport Relief

Supervisor Mark Dyer Owner Adam Brian, Chef Patrick Timpson

It was a busy time packed with fundraising events for Sport Relief from Friday 23–Sunday 25 March.

Across Brighton, individuals and companies were doing their bit for charity. Employees at American Express pulled on their sports gear to dress up as tennis, netball and football players; some put their baking skills to the test and others

took part in a cake-eating contest!

Employees also made appearances as Toy Story’s Woody, The Incredibles and even a Thunderbird to raise money for the national charity. Elsewhere, locals took part in the Sport Relief Mile along the seafront on Sunday, including our own Paul Clark and daughters. Brighton’s Rock Choir even held a flash mob during the event!

American Express photos courtesy of Consolidated PR

Tanja & Jason Cale

Family Fringe launch The first ever Brighton Family Fringe launched on Saturday 24 March. The event aims to provide families with theatre, puppetry, live music and art workshops. The Hurly Burly will take up residence in the front gardens of St Peter’s Church where a host of child-friendly shows will take place during the day, switching to more adult-orientated work in the evenings.

Family friendly and kids’ shows will also be taking place at other venues during Brighton Fringe www.childfriendlybrighton.co.uk Words and photos: Diana Frangi

Emilie Garrould (organiser), Tara O'Sullivan (organiser), Annie Heal

Team American Express

Sarah Wood, Sami Eagle

Mella Punchard (head organiser), Katie Grace-Cooper

Lewis Punchard ( Organiser), Thomas Colgan

Becky Clark, Natalie Clark and Paul Clark at the Sport Relief Mile

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06 LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news

FRANKTALKING Insight, comment and analysis from the editor of Brighton & Hove News, Frank le Duc

A heavy load New restrictions will make life harder for small businesses, according to a Western Road trader

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ore than 500 people signed a petition to protest about new loading restrictions in Western Road. Traders fear that it will make it harder for them to offer deliveries to customers. And it will take longer for them to unload stock for their shops and leave them more exposed to thefts.

Adam Campbell is one of the traders affected by the change and he has been leading the campaign against the proposals. written in to request the new restrictions. Yet, he said, “you have all these Mr Campbell turned up to a council meeting last week to hand in the citizens on our petition and those who have emailed and telephoned you, petition and took along a 10kg bag of compost to reinforce his point. He said: asking you not to impose these restrictions.”

“The council told me I can put it in a wheelbarrow and wheel it round. The Councillor Geoffrey Theobald, leader of the opposition Conservative group nearest place I can possibly park is 80 metres away.” Mr Campbell on the council, said: “Mr Campbell has persistently made his points. I would suggested that councillors or officers came and have thought it was logical to have a restriction on tried to lug a typical delivery of 20 bags of compost one side in the morning and the other in the even 80 metres. No one accepted his offer. afternoon. That would be fair.” Mr Theobald used to “I would rather be running His shop – Gill’s Home and Garden – is one of have the job of making the decisions about parking about 45 businesses affected by the new loading my business than running and loading matters such as this. restrictions on the north side of Western Road, Councillor Pete West, a Green cabinet member a campaign” Hove, between Holland Road and Montpelier Road. who had the job of deciding the issue in the Mr Campbell, a former Conservative candidate for absence of his colleague Ian Davey, said: “My the council, said that the restrictions should apply understanding is that the congestion is in both to the northern side in the morning rush hour and the southern side in the directions. Western Road is one of the most heavily congested roads in both evening rush hour. He said that this would reflect the prevailing bus traffic. directions and any parking there adds to that, particularly in peak hours. It's He said: “I understand what you’re trying to do and I actually agree with it not possible to provide a loading bay but we will compromise and restrict but there has been minimal and risible consultation. Why impose loading loading in peak hours only – from 7am to 10am and 4pm to 7pm. And we will restrictions only on the north side of Western Road when the prolonged look at loading bays in side roads.” indiscriminate parking is mainly on the south side of Western Road? I would After Councillor West agreed to the new loading restrictions, Mr Campbell rather be running my business than running a campaign. But when faced with interrupted the meeting. He told Councillor West: “You and Councillor Davey a serious threat to mine and other businesses, you leave us no choice.” are barred from my shop. If you don’t support us, you may not use us.” He Mr Campbell, who also runs the Western Road Traders Association, said that threatened to form human chains across the road to make deliveries, adding he had even received an email from the council admitting that no one had to the congestion that the council is trying to minimise. n

LATEST INBOX T-shirt design competition To celebrate 2012 being the centenary year of the Scoville Test (measures the capsaicin heat content of chillies) and the 2012 Fiery Foods UK Chilli Festival, which returns to Victoria Gardens in Brighton from the 14th – 16th September, event organisers are launching a scorcher of a competition to design the official T-shirt for this year’s festival!

Fiery Foods UK are offering chilli aficionados and food lovers alike the chance to put their creative stamp on the 2012 Chilli Festival official merchandise. Not

> Have your say only that, the designer of the best T-shirt will also win two VIP tickets to this year’s festival plus accommodation for the weekend in one of Brighton’s finest hotels.

To get involved go to: www.fieryfoodsuk.co.uk, download the T-shirt template and get creative with your patterns, pictures and designs. Send your entries to: info@fieryfoodsuk.co.uk The closing date is 18th May 2012 and the winner will be showcased on www.facebook.com/thechillifestival Fiery Foods UK, via email X Factor Live I loved the show. They all performed well, but Janet was outstanding –

To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email comment@thelatest.co.uk You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH

the very best act in the show.

Lovely, captivating singer. Looking forward to seeing her again soon.

Paula Bancroft, via email

Win an executive day out at Sussex County Cricket Club A campaign to tackle unemployment among the under 25s has been launched by the Brighton & Hove City Employment and Skills Plan (CESP) and BrightonandHoveJobs.com.

Employers are invited to complete a survey and, as an incentive to do so, those who take part will be entered into a draw to win an executive day at Sussex County Cricket Club. Visit www.Brightonandhovejobs.com for further information and to complete the survey.

BrightonandHoveJobs.com, via email

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LATEST NEWS 07

Marina Life

latest brighton & hove news

Brighton Marina’s Kirsty Pollard unveils exciting additions to the Rendezvous Casino

7 days of headlines with phil mills Man jailed after repeat offences after release, beach huts, green spaces & TV’s Amy Childs

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ne of the most persistent sex offenders in Brighton has been jailed for 17 years. Michael Stanley Phillips, 35, sexually assaulted a 28-year old woman in Church Street, indecently exposed himself to a 35-year old woman in Madeira Drive and to a 23-year old woman at Dukes Mound – all just weeks after he was released from prison where he was serving a tenyear stretch for past sex offences.

After receiving his latest jail term at Lewes Crown Court, Detective Chief Inspector Jez Graces said: “He won’t be able to prey on woman for the forseeable future.”

Police knew Phillips would pose a threat after his release and on some days as many as 25 officers were involved in watching him. Chief Superintendent Graham Bartlett said: “This included exhaustive daily surveillance over many weeks which ultimately resulted in his arrest and conviction. Officers observed Phillips hiding in bushes watching women and often changing his clothes in an effort

Latest Blogs Read all these and more, now online at www.thelatest.co.uk Jeff Hemmings – Latest 7’s music editor aka Clash Daddy: “Formed in 1983 by Mike Scott, The Waterboys have been in essence his band along with a revolving nucleus of musicians, playing in a number of different styles but with celtic folk and rock’n'roll at its core...”

LV Loves – JBPR’s Lisa blogs about her Brighton life and loves: “I am completely in love with Madonna’s new song – ‘Girls Gone

to reduce the likelihood of his being identified. The very uncomfortable reality for us was that we had to wait for Phillips to commit or attempt to commit an offence, whilst doing our best to ensure that if he did, we were in a position to intervene to protect the public and bring him to justice.”

Are there enough controls on persistent sex offenders? Email comment@thelatest.co.uk Staying on the crime front, a prolific burglar, jailed for six years, has met some of his victims to say sorry.

Duncan Campbell, 36, from Worthing, asked if he could apologise and Sussex Police set up its first restorative justice conference to be held in a prison.

Campbell said: “I never thought about the victim before – hearing about the impact my offending has had on them has had a powerful affect on me and I won't offend again.” One woman victim said: “He was remorseful and said meeting us had a big impact on him. We definitely thought the process was worthwhile and it brought some closure. We want to know how he does when he is released from prison – because we have met him face to face we feel we have put some investment in him.”

On a lighter note...there are beach huts and then there are Brighton beach huts. Local artist Ian Williams has put some of the city's weird and

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wonderful attractions together in a new art form. He said: “I'm told the Royal Pavilion was used as a glorified beach hut way back in the mists of time – but how true that is I don't know.” Check out Ian's work: www.ianfwilliams.com Speaking of sights, The Only Way Is Essex star, Amy Childs, model, beautician, reality TV star and presenter, was spotted by one of Latest 7’s photographers in a Brighton Tesco as she promoted her new tanning products.

Meanwhile, the city council is improving nine play areas over the next thee months, the first being at St Ann’s Wells in Hove, Warrior Close in Portslade, and Knoll Recreation Ground in Hangleton.

And the city and Brighton & Hove Buses have won £3.5 million government funding to improve the bus network over the next two years, especially around park and gardens from The Level to the sea, known as Valley Gardens, and to Edward Street/Eastern Road, to serve the new Royal Sussex hospital development, and to Lewes Road, to accommodate bendy buses which due to come on stream this month.

And lastly, plans are afoot to improve Valley Gardens green spaces, and if you want a say then you can complete a questionnaire at www.consult.brightonhove.gov.uk/portal/bhcc/transport/v alley_gardens/valley_gardens What should be done to improve Valley Gardens?

comment@thelatest.co.uk Wild’. It's exactly what we've been waiting for from her for years – classic Madonna. She is definitely is back to her best!”

Sussex Wildlife Trust – The team from the conservation organisation blog everything nature: “It’s great fun working at an event.

We usually take a free children’s activity, such as bug hunting or seed planting, but everyone’s welcome to have a go.”

Brighton Ramblings – Katy blogs about motherhood and has been shortlisted for BritMums ‘Brilliance in Blogging’ (BiB) award: “Dexter is Lord Grump of

t’s been all go at the Rendezvous Casino recently with big changes now in place.

Last week the Rendezvous launched their brand new Red Lounge on the ground floor.

The evening was an enormous success and an amazing night was had by one and all.

The Red Lounge will now be open every Friday and Saturday night and includes fabulous cocktails, amazing food, and a unique gaming experience like no other.

Take on the Red Challenge to earn points and wins prizes.

Grumpsville at the moment. Sarah's feedback at the nursery pick-up today was, 'He's been emotional.'”

To read more, log on now: www.thelatest.co.uk

Games include Play Your Cards Right, Blackjack, Dance Central, The Big Six, and Roulette. I must say there were some very glamorous Casino Hosts. Prices start from £10pp.

This venue also boast a fabulous Upper Deck Restaurant set in the heart of the casino action with spectacular views over the English Channel. The à la carte menu is available every day from 6pm to 11.30pm.

The excitement continues into April when Rendezvous Casino presents Paloma Faith on 26 April. You can let Paloma be your DJ for the night, supported by Sean Quinn. Limited tickets cost £45 per person which will include an arrival cocktail.

Rendezvous is far more that just your everyday casino, it’s a complete destination. Great bars, restaurant, live entertainment, free valet parking right outside, and the largest poker lounge in the south.

Finally, take advantage of the Brighton Marina Advantage Card. Register today and receive offers from over 40 outlets at the Marina every time you visit.

We need you! Blog for www.thelatest.co.uk They’re all blogging, are you?

We are looking for the very best bloggers covering topics from politics, music and food, to health, fitness and everything Brighton.

For the chance to be included, email us now with an example of your work or a link to your blog

To be involved, email us now: comment@thelatest.co.uk

Kirsty Pollard, Brighton Marina’s Marketing and Events Manager kirsty.pollard@x-leisure.co.uk

www.brightonmarina.co.uk ONE MILE EAST OF BRIGHTON PIER – NO 7 BUS SHOPS BOWLING CINEMA FITNESS HOTEL CASINO BARS RESTAURANTS SAIL FISH DIVE BOAT TRIPS

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LATEST NEWS 09

latest brighton & hove news

PROFILE

IN BRIEF n HYDE HOUSING PLANS WIN BACKING

FOR HOMES ON PARK HOUSE SITE

Angel’s touch

One of the biggest housing associations in Brighton and Hove, Hyde Housing, will learn on 4 April whether it can build 71 flats facing Hove Park. It wants to demolish the former language school on the corner of Old Shoreham Road and Goldstone crescent and replace it with a fivestorey building and a basement car park.

If the planning committee accepts the recommendation by officials, Hyde will pay the council £407,000 in what is known as section 106 money. This will go towards education, sustainable transport, jobs and preserving open spaces.

Thirty of the flats will be classed as “affordable homes” with five of them fully accessible for disabled people in wheelchairs. The scheme will also include 126 parking spaces for bicycles. Forty seven people have sent in letters of objection to the plans criticising the height, the size and scale of the proposed building and its design.

Hyde has failed in previous attempts to secure planning permission for this site. Councillors on the planning committee are being advised that the application is acceptable and should be granted with conditions.

n CYCLISTS WANT PROM BAN LIFTED

Sarah Bellamy is using her experience as a nurse to help others after her husband died in hospital. Frank le Duc reports

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arah Bellamy has been a qualified nurse for questions or that in fact his care was being not so 26 years. She has been a widow for a year. much shared but passed about from one Her husband Stuart died in January last year. individual to another. I never felt that anybody had She had a clearer view than most of how things the overall picture of what was going on. I felt that might have been done differently and has been we’d lost the plot really. working with the Royal Sussex County Hospital on “I got a call at half past six in the morning from a checklist for clinical staff to help prevent the ward to say that I needed to come into the avoidable deaths in future. hospital. Stuart had taken a turn for the worse. I’ve A short but powerful film in which she set out been a qualified nurse for 26 years. I know what her experiences was shown to a board meeting of that means. As I walked on to the ward I saw a the hospital trust. It has been shown to doctors young woman. She said we need to sit down and nurses, who can sometimes struggle to work somewhere and have a chat. I said we really don’t. out what’s wrong with a patient. And it will be You need to just tell me that he’s died because I shown to medical students before they are asked know that he has. to make life or death decisions for real. Stuart was “At that point she started to cry and I gave her a being treated as though he had a kidney stone hug and said it’s all right. And it obviously wasn’t when he had a huge blood clot blocking the main all right. We’d been married for 23 and a half years artery to his lungs – a and I felt that we had a lot pulmonary embolism. of years left in us. He was Sarah said: “Stuart was the love of my life. And my transferred to an children at 16 and 18 were “A checklist is the way orthopaedic ward under really not ready to lose the care of the urology forward. It protects staff. their dad. team. There was a bed “The truth was hard to It protects patients” crisis at the time. I got a hear that he had died of panicky call from Stuart. bilateral PE. His mum had (He said) they’re taking me had a PE at 50 and so to theatre. He sounded there was a proven family absolutely terrified. I spoke to the ward sister. She history which obviously the medical teams were was unaware that the urology team had reviewed aware of. Stuart was very high risk for a PE. It was him. She was very concerned that his all there really. The information was there. It was breathlessness was still quite pronounced. (He) just buried in the notes and buried in the minds of clearly wasn’t in a fit state for theatre and hadn’t the people who were managing him. been seen by an anaesthetist.

“I believe that a checklist is the way forward. I “I asked the ward sister if she would get the believe that it’s vital for the way that we are in urology registrar to come back and speak to me medicine in the 21st century. I believe it protects which she did. The urology registrar came back. I staff. I believe it protects patients. And I believe that outlined my concerns about his breathing. He sort if we don’t do it, we will have to answer for that. of slightly brushed it off and said, oh well, we “I would rather justify doing something that won’t bother then. I was just going to stent him might slow us up slightly, or might seem and send him home but perhaps not. repetitive, might seem a little bit of overkill “By this time Stuart had had a CT scan which perhaps. I would rather have to justify that to seemed to indicate that there might be stones but colleagues than have to justify not using Stuart didn’t have any more pain. He didn’t have something which could save somebody’s life.” any sign of infection. But he was still struggling The film ends with the words: “Stuart died of with breathlessness. It was painful to watch him. massive pulmonary embolism. He was 46. He “I was struggling to work out what was going on didn’t even receive VTE prophylaxis (clot busting and I felt that people weren’t asking the right drugs). Stuart never did have a kidney stone.” n

ALONG THE SEAFRONT IN HOVE

Cyclists are calling for an end to the ban on bikes on the seafront in Hove. A petition signed by 159 people was presented to a meeting at Hove Town Hall last week. It said: “We petition the council to remove the ban on cycling on Hove promenade between the Peace Statue to the end of Hove Lawns.”

Brighton and Hove City Council cabinet member Councillor Pete West formally noted the petition. His colleague, Councillor Ian Davey, is expected to ask officials to look at the request more fully in the coming months. At present, the cycle path runs along the comparatively narrow pavement next to the road in Kingsway in Hove. It runs along the wider promenade for a short stretch behind the King Alfred Leisure Centre. The council currently permits its own staff to use motor vehicles along the prom. Powered mobility scooters are also allowed on the prom.

n BANK WORKERS IN CHARITY DRIVE

RAISE £20K FOR ROCKINGHORSE

Staff at Lloyds Banking Group have raised more than £20,000 for the Rockinghorse Children’s Charity. The money will go towards the cost of buying life-saving equipment for premature babies at the Trevor Mann Baby Unit at the Royal Sussex County Hospital.

Ross Harper, Lloyds’ sports and social coordinator for Brighton and Hove, said that colleagues across East Sussex had been finding fun ways to fundraise. Activities included bake sales, raffles, a wear your pyjamas to work day, a dragon boat race and a bungee jump.

The team also gave over 400 volunteering hours through their Day To Make A Difference scheme to help out at a number of Rockinghorse events including the charity’s annual ball and the Brighton Marathon. One member of staff, Evan Digney, raised £700 cycling from London to Paris. The bank matched up to £500 in sponsorship per person from the Lloyds TSB Foundation.

Ria Wilson, Rockinghorse’s corporate fundraising manager, said: “We’re extremely grateful for all their hard work, especially to Ross for heading up the team and getting everyone excited about our work.” To find out how to help visit www.rockinghorse.org.uk or call 01273 330044

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LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news

the bigissue

Trauma at the Royal Sussex Brighton is now home to the major trauma centre for the South East. Frank le Duc asks what it means

ett

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ain McFadyen is in charge of trauma at the Royal Sussex County Hospital.

CURING A MAJOR HEADACHE His team of doctors, nurses and other healthcare specialists try to put One change to help complete the process in the months ahead is the transfer of people back together again. The people they try to put back together are neurosurgery from Hurstwood Park in Haywards Heath to the Royal Sussex site. some of the most badly injured patients that a doctor will see. They may This will mean that all the relevant specialists will be under one roof in Brighton. have been shot or stabbed, crushed or in a car crash. They may have fallen Another change is a refurbishment to create an extra operating theatre – bigger off a building or a cliff. They may have lost one or more limbs or suffered than the nine current theatres so that multiple operations can be carried out at terrible head or spinal injuries. Often his patients have multiple injuries. the same time when necessary. The changes will mean that patients who have From Monday (2 April) Dr McFadyen and his team have officially had to suffered head injuries and other severe injuries can be treated in one place raise their game. This is because the Royal Sussex has become the major rather than having to be taken from one hospital to another. Dozens of patients trauma centre for the South East of England. Medics use the word trauma to with complex needs were being transferred to Hurstwood Park from the Royal describe, say, a broken hip or a minor head injury. The term major trauma is Sussex – or to hospitals in London or Southampton. used to describe the most severe life-threatening The T for trauma in the regional major trauma centre injuries or when people suffer from multiple injuries. is one of the 3Ts used as a shorthand for the huge Dr McFadyen said last week: “There’s going to be a big “If they do have project to transform the Royal Sussex. The term stands step up when the major trauma centre goes live. In for:Teaching, Trauma and Tertiary care. The teaching something seriously 2009 we treated 120 major trauma patients. In 2011 aspect is well under way. The hospital is a crucial part that jumped up to 254. There’s no formal agreement yet of the Brighton and Sussex Medical School and is the to treat that many. That comes in April. It’s just a result wrong with them then newest teaching hospital in the country. And the of the ambulance crews using us because they’ve got tertiary care is provided by specialist consultants they really do want to more confidence in us. They’re voting with their feet, if usually to patients who have been referred by their you like. Before, they’d have taken those patients to family doctor or perhaps by a doctor in, say, A&E. be in Brighton” London. That’s a huge vote of confidence in us.”

Tertiary care includes, for example, neurosurgery, As chief of trauma, Dr McFadyen is keen to talk up cancer care and heart surgery. his team but he’s not complacent. Inspections, assessments and audits The £420 million makeover of the Royal Sussex site will provide modern have been carried out in the lead up to going live this week. There have facilities for all three of the 3Ts, replacing the familiar, much-loved but outdated been posts to fill, equipment to purchase and training to provide. And the Barry Building which opened in 1828. The building work will take almost ten process is not complete. The BMJ (British Medical Journal) website years. And it will include adding a helipad to the top of the Thomas Kemp Tower. currently includes an advert for five consultants to join the hospital’s The project was given another boost on Thursday when the strategic health Department of Intensive Care Medicine. One of the posts is the result of a authority – NHS South of England – gave its approval. The Department of Health surgeon retiring but four consultants are being recruited to help staff the is expected to do the same by the end of next month. Then it’s up to the Treasury. expansion of services.

Its answer – the final answer – is expected in the autumn.

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LATEST NEWS

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BREAKING THE ICE

Dr McFadyen, a married father of two who turned 40 last month, joined Brighton and Sussex University Hospitals NHS Trust – the trust that runs the Royal Sussex – just over two years ago. His background is in orthopaedic surgery. He trained in Cape Town – at Groote Schuur Hospital where Christiaan Barnard carried out the first heart transplant – and in Bristol, Oxford and even a brief stint in New York. He lives in Shoreham.

He needn’t have worried about getting to know his new colleagues when he started in Brighton. He said: “I arrived here in December 2009 just in time for that awful snow. We had that weekend when we admitted 150 patients with fractures when we normally admit about 15 orthopaedic fractures. We were putting patients anywhere where there was a spare bed. We cancelled everything else in the hospital.” He had to talk to a lot of people in a lot of departments to cope with the situation. If you’ll forgive the pun, it was one way to break the ice.

He was attracted by the promise of a growing department with an increasingly busy workload. He didn’t expect to have the potential brought home to him on Day 1. He said that the regional trauma centre based at Brighton was part of a national strategy to improve poor outcomes – a poor outcome is death or disability. The strategy was prompted by an analysis showing that trauma patients in Britain had a 20 to 30 per cent higher mortality rate than those in places like Germany, Sweden, America or Australia.

“We’ll be working with the ambulance service on this,” Dr McFadyen said.

“If the patient is less than 45 minutes’ drive to the hospital and they’re suspected of having a severe injury, they’ll be brought straight here.

Traditionally they would have been taken to the nearest hospital and if necessary transferred. This meant a delay to definitive care.”

Ambulance crews cannot possibly carry all the diagnostic kit that can be found in a big hospital emergency department – “so there will be some people who wonder why they’ve been brought to Brighton, who would previously have gone to their local hospital. The reason for this is that we know this is the only way we can improve survival and outcomes. If they do have something seriously wrong with them then they really do want to be in Brighton.”

He estimated that about 600 to 700 patients a year would be brought to Brighton, many on a precautionary principle. The trust already treats more than 250 major trauma patients and expects its experts to treat about 360 extra cases a year. They will be treated in an area staffed with A&E consultants as well specialists in vascular, cardiac, orthopaedic and plastic surgery. There will be neurosurgeons, general surgeons and specialist anaesthetists. And a dedicated CT scanner in A&E.

RAISING PERFORMANCE

Dr McFadyen said: “One of the biggest challenges was getting neurosurgery here. If someone’s got a serious head injury and a serious pelvic injury, we’ve had to treat one part here and one part in Haywards Heath.

“The next challenge, which I think is the most important, is that the hospital has to be able to cope with throwing a whole load of resources at a single patient without taking resources away from other patients in the hospital.

What we’ve had to do is put the infrastructure in place so we can do that. That has meant recruiting 120 new nursing and doctor posts. We’re about halfway into filling that recruitment.”

Iain McFadyen

The senior clinicians challenge themselves after a major incident anywhere – like the M5 coach crash – and ask if they could cope if it happened here. He said: “For trauma, every single department has to be switched on at all hours of the day. As a hospital, you have to be doing things routinely. The ‘major’ needs to be routine.”

The result would be good for the people of Brighton and Hove, he said.

Hospital chief executive Duncan Selbie had used the creation of the regional trauma centre as a way of raising performance. This included tackling the statistical rise – seen across the country – in mortality rates for patients admitted overnight and at weekends.

He said that many of the major trauma patients in Brighton tended to have been injured in car crashes or from falling from a height. “We do have a drug and mental health issue in this area.

We have a low volume of penetrative traumas – stab wounds and gunshot wounds.”

Mr Selbie was working with GPs to try to reduce the number of patients coming to A&E when they could be treated more appropriately elsewhere.

Dr McFadyen said that, from this week, those who really needed to be in the emergency department in Brighton would be getting an improved level of care.

And though the 3Ts project, with all the building work, would bring some disruption, Brighton would end up with a 21st century hospital giving patients an even better chance of surviving and recovering a major trauma. n

012_LS571_bill's column_editorial 30/03/2012 17:02 Page 2

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LATEST OPINION

LATEST BILL Patients: Who cares? Bill Smith presents an original idea for achieving more compassionate care in our hospitals

Who cares?

M

y mother's been in hospital – well, almost – she was on a trolley for the whole weekend as no beds were available. No-one is discharged over the weekend, apparently. I found out later that hardly anyone gets beds over the weekend – hospitals are old-fashioned Monday to Friday organisations and when patients do get a bed, care is a lottery. A survey by Pulse magazine found that a third of doctors say their patients are being put at risk in NHS hospitals because of poor standards – many admit they would not refer their own family.

M.D. in Private Eye said that “the best alarm in the NHS is patients speaking up when they encounter appalling care, yet the brutal suppression of whistle blowers shows how much NHS culture needs to change.” The recent Dignity In Care report at least doesn't shirk from telling the truth.

I have witnessed this directly over the last few weeks: I saw patients not taken to the toilet; I saw food and drink left for them when they were unable to eat or drink and then taken away because “they didn't want it”. I saw countless nurses by day and hardly any at night. None of this was in Brighton but of course we did have a whistle-blower in the last few years.

FROM THE NHS TO OUR BANKS

Something is desperately wrong with the Health Service.

My dad was one of the first people to work in the Health Service running hospitals in the West Country. I never saw anyone on a trolley. My mum and dad put their money for safe-keeping in the Trustee Savings Bank. Now, 60 years later it's Lloyds TSB and our savings are not safe. If the bank goes bust you could lose everything. Something is desperately wrong with the banks.

We are a democratic society and we elect governments who set up institutions to reflect our views. After the war we decided we didn't want people to die from preventable illnesses so we set up the NHS. We also needed somewhere that people’s savings could be kept safe and maybe also used to benefit society by creating new businesses with our money as investment. The very young people who had risked their lives to keep Britain free demanded both the NHS and the TSB. My dad went from the RAF via prisoner-of-war camps to work in the new NHS and

save with the TSB. Both these institutions were set up to benefit society, both equally necessary.

WORTH THE BONUS

Now we are hearing disparate views on the NHS and the banks. Here is my view: if Mr Hester is worth any bonus for bringing his bank back to being a safe haven for us then surely it’s right that those who bring the hospitals and the NHS back to being a safe haven for us deserve bonuses too.

“We should pay NHS staff wages at least comparable with banker averages” If you pay people £50k rather than £15k you will get better, more devoted staff. We shouldn’t expect people in the caring profession to do it for love, as a vocation. We should pay wages at least comparable with banker averages and with the same bonuses, but for that money we should expect the best. I would give anyone any bonus to not have my dangerously ill mother on a trolley all weekend.

LET’S LOWER WEEKEND DEATH RATES

I’ve spent many hours a few yards away from A&E and it’s easy to see a

million improvements you could make.

The death rate at weekends is 20 per cent higher so let’s not have weekends in hospital – let’s make Saturday the same as Tuesday.

Supermarkets seem to manage rotas, so must hospitals. I saw one junior doctor all weekend. But on Monday morning I saw as many as in a whole series of Holby City. The NHS needs organisation like any 24/7 business.

Many people dislike the words ‘business’ or ‘profit’ but I have no problem with offering Mr Lansley (or anybody capable) a £500k bonus if they can make hospitals the same on Saturday as Tuesday and bring the death rate down by 20 per cent. That’s when bonuses are earned.

Let’s make a list of things we want, let’s get some talent and let’s give the talent the incentive to achieve society’s desires. Stephen Hester was hired to make RBS safe for its customers and profitable. That’s the order I’d like it to be in, anyway. It’s time to have someone doing the same for the NHS – Gerry Robinson has made great programmes on TV about re-organising the NHS. He’s a great businessman, a proven organiser, and his heart’s in the right place. Get him in and let’s sort out the real issues.

Issues like: if you're going to have people on trolleys for a whole weekend then why not just convert this area (it’s called the Medical Assessment Area in the hospital my mother was in) into a ward and have proper beds and in one word: dignity.

Bill’s Shorts: What’s in them this week?

ONE TO CHEER UP THE LEFT George Osborne has reduced the top rate of tax to 45 per cent (that’s not it, in case you’re wondering). No, in his speech he suggested that reducing the tax would bring in more revenues because rich people presumably wouldn’t try to avoid the tax-man.

Or as they call it with poor people, defraud. So if that is true then presumably it’ll work for everyone, not just rich people. So let’s just reduce the rate of tax by five per cent for everyone. And hey, why stop at five per cent? Surely if we reduced it by say 25 per cent nobody would bother evading their tax at all and we’d get so much money into the national coffers that our debt would be wiped out.

Bill for Chancellor.

WEATHER UPDATE May will be unusually cold or warm or sunny or snowy, anyway, the somethingist in 167 years.

THE REAL ISSUES

I keep hearing David Cameron, Ed Milliband jokily point-scoring at PMQs. They’re ignoring the real issues. They both have conferences with nurses, doctors and unions.

They both ignore patients! The word ‘patient’, if it’s used at all, is tacked on at the end of the sentence – it’s like Tesco deciding on what to sell by asking the cashiers. What about the customers? The patients must be the number one consideration as must be the customers of the banks.

The NHS and the TSB are great British institutions. They both need to revert back to why they were set up: the TSB for ordinary people like me and you to save our money and the NHS for the patients, that’s us, to get the best health care. I look forward to David Cameron and Ed Milliband discussing with patients and with bank customers the way ahead for both.

If any patients want their stories published write to comment@thelatest.co.uk and we will print them all online. We will also forward them to Messrs Cameron and Milliband. We also want your views on this article and your responses will immediately be printed online at www.thelatest.co.uk Bill Smith is Managing Editor of Latest 7/Homes magazine and a director of Latest TV. n

Read Latest Blogs at www.thelatest.co.uk

ONE TO CHEER UP THE RIGHT Still on the budget, The Guardian has been leading the criticism of the cut in top rate tax, explaining how all these millionaires are going to be even richer. I’m grateful to Private Eye for pointing out that two of the fat cats include The Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger who is only on £395,000 a year and The Guardian chief executive Andrew Miller, whose basic pay is only a paltry £572,000. The Guardian are always banging on about bonuses for success or failure, so Heaven knows what they would pay themselves if they ever increased their circulation or made a profit. Last year they lost £38 million. I know how many Guardian readers there are in Brighton so I’ll shut up now.

OLD NEWS: MOTHER THERESA TO HEAD CLEAN NEWS INTERNATIONAL James Murdoch has stood down as Chair of News International.

That’s obviously a really bright idea. But I like their shortlist of replacements even more. Mother Theresa, Amanda Holden (with baby) – now we know why she was in the first Sun on Sunday – or Harry Redknapp. I think it’s significant that none of them have been on the hacking list.

013_LS571_celebcity_Celebcity 30/03/2012 10:48 Page 1

CELEBCITY

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Brian Harvey writes a song, celebs in the sun, Sussex cakes sold on Virgin flights, & Amy Childs

A

Image: PicSelect

AMY-MANIA

my Childs embraced crying fans when she turned up at the Holmbush Centre recently to – yep you’ve guessed it – promote something from her long line of business ventures. Around 150 fans, most of them teens, were said to have turned up for the event to meet their ‘idol’. With Amy Child’s false eyelashes, her own brand of fake tan and a fashion line under her belt, we can only assume that she will have her own strain of the influenza virus next. (See also, Latest News.)

BRIAN’S GOT TALENT

East 17 star Brian Harvey has written a new song for an 11 year old from Newhaven. After being somewhat stalked by the young girl’s mum, a selfconfessed superfan who claimed to know the singer ‘quite well’, Harvey agreed to write a song entitled ‘I Can’ for Morgan Smith. The song will take Morgan to the regional final of the national Live and Unsigned competition held in Hove. If she manages to wow the judges there it’ll be off to the 02 Arena to compete for a prize of £10,000 and a 100-show tour of the UK. Good luck to Morgan, and if she does win I hope Brian has a few more songs up his sleeve – I’m not sure just the one will cut it!

13

SPOTTED: SUNSHINE SPECIAL The sun brought the stars out in Brighton! First off was Jay from The Inbetweeners with his missus and baby son on Bond Street. TV’s Jonathan Ross was spotted enjoying the seaside.

He later tweeted: “It’s sunny in Brighton. Quite lovely” – quite!

Les Dennis in Subway. The less said about this the better. Nick Cave and his whole family, including his exsupermodel wife Susie Bick, were seen dining at Moshi Moshi Brighton.

Chris Moyles jogging along the Brighton seafront for Sport Relief.

Didn’t go quite as he’d hoped though; he tweeted a picture of him outside a shut up pier with the caption: “The plan was run 3 miles down the seafront, down the pier and back again. Think I set off too early.” Last but not least, canine stars Bruiser and Rufus of Legally Blonde – The Musical fame taking a much needed break in Pavilion Gardens. The famous mutts, one a Chihuahua and the other a good old English Bulldog, easily stole the show in the musical’s recent run at the Theatre Royal Brighton.

AIRBOURNE CUPCAKES The family run Sussex-based cupcake bakery, Indulgence Cupcake Company, is set to become something of a high-flyer now that Virgin Atlantic hasdecided to have them stocked on board their planes. Passengers can now pre-order a specially designed pack of the Sussex cupcakes to be delivered to their seat on boarding the aircraft from Virgin Atlantic’s retail therapy shopping website (www.retailtherapyshopping.com). Managing director, Jeremy Jacobs, said: “We are very excited that passengers will be able to celebrate a special occasion or trip with a box of our tasty cupcakes at 35,000 feet.” A right little flight of fancy!

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

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014_015_LS571_albiondps_editorial 30/03/2012 16:44 Page 2

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SPORT

latest SEAGULLS Up the Albion!

Whatever the outcome of Albion’s push for the play-offs, this will have been a memorable season. With Burnley away coming up this is a good time to look at the genesis of The Albion’s current run of fine form, for it was against Burnley that the tide began to turn for the team.

If the Albion do make the play-offs we may have the referee of that game to thank. It was Pawson’s decision to send off Vincelot and Barnes within the first 12 minutes of the match that sparked the revival. The Albion, on the back of a poor run could have capitulated.

Then something remarkable happened. The team, re-organised superbly

by Gus Poyet, rallied. Incensed by the perceived injustice of the officials decision, the crowd got behind the team in a way that still stirs the hairs on the back of my neck. Down to nine men, not only did the team rally, they were worthy of at least a point and could have won the game. The crowd also found their voice and their place in the stadium – so the formidable home run began.

Whatever happens next, a top ten finish would be fantastic, thanks to that match. As for Burnley away? We owe them one.

Brighton photographer Geoff Penn captures BHAWFC’s Sussex County Cup win Brighton & Hove Albion Women’s FC beat Lewes Ladies FC 3-1 at the Sussex County FA County Ground in Lancing on Thursday 15 March to take home the Sussex County Cup. The Sea-gals scored just eight minutes in, but the teams were level come half time. Brighton cemented their cup win with a further two goals in the second half. It’s been a great season for BHA so far – both the men’s and women’s team.

Photo highlights of the Sussex County Cup win:

BHAWFC Manager DJ Hamilton

Photos: © Geoff Penn www.geoffpennphotos.com

Burnley away

Photo: Paul Hazlewood

W

www.seagulls.co.uk

Sea-gals

Mark Brailsford on how to improve away form ith results going the Albion’s way up until the Notts Forest weekend, thoughts turn to the run-in to the finish line.

The fact that Poyet’s men have not won away for four matches is not a great cause for concern as long as their formidable home form continues but with tough games to come against fellow play-off rivals, Albion fans could be in for a nail-biting finish to the season. If the Albion “Albion fans could win their home games then there is every chance of a playbe in for a nail-biting off place, but other teams would end to the season” have to drop enough points to make this a guarantee.

Albion would also have to get something from the three remaining away matches against Burnley, West Ham and Barnsley. The shakedown for the top six will surely begin once the games in hand even out. The Seagulls might be in a slightly false position at the moment with teams around them having that crucial game in hand. But at least the Albion have the points and it’s one thing to have the game in hand, it’s another to win that game. Teams in this division seem to be adept at slipping up at inopportune moments and Albion may benefit from this.

A point at Burnley and Barnsley and wins at home verses Birmingham, Watford and Reading might be enough, but as ever with predictions, I am reminded of Moltke’s dictum. General Moltke was a First World War German General who coined the phrase: “No battle plan ever survives intact after first contact with the enemy.” While it may not exactly be Sun Tzu and The Art of War, it is quite apt for football and the Seagulls in particular. Gus Poyet has been perplexed by his side’s away form. So what is so different?

Factor in the state of pitches where the home team shares their stadium with a rugby club, the support of the home fans and the travelling, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was one or all of these things.

Common sense would indicate that the psychology of playing away is more likely to be at the root of all ills. So, how to remedy the situation?

Here are a few suggestions: 1) Get Richie Reynolds to do a pre-match build up in the dressing room along with that superb pre-match video they play at The Amex. 2) Take Gully’s Girls to play dodge the sprinkler before kickoff. 3) Ask a few Ipswich fans to roll up with that banner and unfurl it in the home fans area. If nothing else it may take the players’ minds off the distractions of playing away or the state of the playing surface.

official sponsor of

blast from the past Stewart Weir finds there’s only one Charlie Oatway

H

is name is Anthony Philip David Terry Frank Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen James Oatway. Charlie Oatway was landed with the names of Queens Park Rangers’ 1973 first team from the season of his birth. When his parents told his aunt the names they had given him she said:“He’d look a right Charlie”.

Having left school at the age of 13, Charlie was for many years an undiagnosed dyslexic who struggled with reading and writing all his life, which he has since battled to overcome.

014_015_LS571_albiondps_editorial 30/03/2012 16:45 Page 3

SPORT 15

HOME GAME Seagulls’ mascot Gully talks to Zara Baker about flying high

Do you get nervous before stepping out onto the pitch?

“No, after nearly seven years it’s a walk in the park.”

How long have you been with Brighton & Hove Albion?

“Nearly seven years.”

If you could live anywhere in Brighton and Hove where would it be?

“Brighton Pier. I like chips!”

How did you get involved with the club?

“I was born in a Withdean tree, decided to fly down to the pitch one day and they gave me the job!”

Have you ever missed a match?

“Yeah, a few. Not many though!

I caught the old Bird flu once or twice.”

What’s been the highlight of your career so far?

“Getting promoted last year as champions of League 1.”

And the low point?

“I’ve not had any yet.”

Who’s your sporting hero?

“John Parrott! Us birds stick together.”

Which club’s mascot is your biggest rival?

“All the mascots are my friends.”

Who would win in a penalty shoot out – Gully or Sammy?

“Gully, hands down.

More experienced.”

Where do you actually live?

“The American Express Community Stadium.”

What’s your favourite holiday destination?

“Canary Islands.”

What songs are currently most played on your iPod? “Any songs by Cheryl Crow, Pigeon Detectives, The Eagles, The Housemartins and The Doves.”

What was the last book you read?

“One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

by Ken Kesey.”

In the film of your life, who would you like to play you?

“Steven Sea-gull!”

Lastly, how do kids get involved in the Gully gang?

“Go to www.youngseagulls.co.uk and click join the gang. It’s easy and free to join!”

Coming up for BHAFC: Coming up for BHAFC: Burnley (A) Friday 6 April. © 1990-2011 Stewart Weir

Charlie made 224 appearances for the Albion and scored eight goals. In the first few minutes of a Championship match against QPR a crunching tackle left Charlie’s leg shattered.

Today Charlie is the first team coach and very much one of the fans’ all-time favourite Albion players.

16

ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek

In & Out

Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

8

016_LS571_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 30/03/2012 11:04 Page 2

Special oft-invoked, nonofficial organisations” edition

In Festival pick

Reasons to see: Big Daddy Vs Giant Haystacks – again

1) It’s a snip at a mere £5/£4 (every show in Brighton Five Pound Fringe is just £5 or less) 2) Did we mention it has won a clutch of awards and nominations, including the Buxton Festival Fringe

Award for Best Theatre Production, a Fringe Guru Editor's Choice Award, and the Latest 7 Award for Best Male Performer?

3) The local rag described it as “very funny” and “a barrel of laughs”, and claimed “No prior knowledge was required to enjoy it to the max.”

(Sadly it did not go on to use the words ‘dude’ and ‘gnarly’.)

4) The Rock Inn is one of the few venues during the festival that hasn’t programmed about 15 shows every half hour. So you’ll have plenty of time to take your seat, enjoy a full evening’s

Out • The Awkward Squad • The Chipping Norton Set • The Tree-huggers • The Health-AndSafety Nazis • The Union of the Snake

8

Yes! Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s multi-award-winning comedy drama, following the meteoric rise and vertiginous fall of the two best-loved figures in British wrestling, returns to Brighton on 5, 12 and 28 May as part of Brighton Five Pound Fringe So if you haven’t seen the show already, here’s a few reasons why you should:

Celebrated Polish director Andre Rippov joins together with Italian minimalist composer Lucio Uselesso, cult British Artist Tom Chancer, and well-known physical theatre troupe Krap: Komplete to bring this exciting event to Brighton. An enormous bird’s nest made of gold-coloured fibreglass will be erected in Pavilion Gardens, and filled with one and a half million pounds in £20 notes. At the stroke of midnight the cash will be set alight to burn merrily while dancing girls dressed as the cast of the Carry On... films dance around it singing Elvis Presley songs.

Pavilion Gardens, sometime in May, Free.

• The PC Brigade • The Barmy Army • The Angry Mob • The In Crowd • The God Squad

entertainment and a leisurely drink in the interval, and not be turfed out unceremoniously the split second it ends to make way for a one-woman show about Marie Stopes/Lena Zavaroni/Lady Bird Johnson.

Maschera for Zurich doesn’t count, as it’s an opera).

5) It is the first ever theatre production to make use of a paper mask of Dickie Davies’ face (David Pountney’s recent Un Ballo In

Bookings: 01273 697054 info@rockinnbrighton.co.uk groupspaces.com/ BrightonFivePoundFringe

Big Daddy vs Giant Haystacks plays The Rock, 7 Rock Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1NF, 5, 12 and 28 May, 8pm.

Photo: MCP

Mad Matt Matt Whistler on the joys of two wheels

A

fter performing a Saturday night comedy gig that fought off three stag parties and some ferocious heckling, a Sunday cocktail of dibbling and dabbling was required.

The day consisted of a touch of painting on the beach using glow stick tubes to create circles followed by a wobbly clown bike that turns right when the handle bars go left. Brighton Sunday nonsensical behaviour; don’t you just love it?

I do miss the old push scooter days though, I have tried and tested every type of push scooter over the years inspired by Mr Natural, who was a Robert Crumb cartoon creation back in the ‘60s, but now it’s bicycles all the way.

And now it’s cycle-tastic as news is out that there is going to be

cycle routes running through the Brighton Lanes and the twittens, so scrunch your shoulders, get your cycle pump jousting sticks out and lock on with your squeezy horn.

I love the hilarity of cycle lanes, the way the thick white, obligatory token gesture, painted line just suddenly comes to a halt and a feeling of cycle rebellion steps in.

The Dutch are clued up they have cycle lanes and Vespa lanes completely off the road in a freewheeling lane of luxury. I’m not taking sides, cars are great fun, especially when you wheel spin to exit a car park.

Mind your backs, mind your backs!

The Camptown racetrack’s five miles long

Read Matt’s full blog at www.facebook.com/ mattwhistlerbrighton

017_LS571_cityspeak_Editorial 30/03/2012 12:04 Page 1

CITY SPEAK

Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw and the other princess

I

feel ashamed to say that when Gotha was a real love match. There a friend asked if I had been to are cartoons on display from this The Forgotten Princess period including a particularly exhibition at the Royal Pavilion, I naughty one which made our almost replied that I felt I knew all excellent guide blush a little. When, I needed to know about Princess the following year, Charlotte died in Diana. My only excuse for my child birth and her little son was ignorance is that history was not stillborn, one can imagine the taught in a very imaginative way outpouring of grief which took hold in the ‘50s at Watford Grammar of the nation. People cried openly School for Girls and I really can’t in the streets, the churches were remember doing much after the full of mourners and the feeling of Greeks and the Romans. misfortune attached itself to So I did not admit everything. That to my friend that I sounds a bit knew next to familiar, I think. nothing about Although George III “We could have Princess Charlotte, had 15 children, who apparently was had a Charlottian Charlotte had been the only daughter of only legitimate age instead of a the the Prince Regent, grandchild. (Plenty later George IV. So I of illegitimate ones Victorian one” trotted dutifully presumably, but along to the they didn’t count.) exhibition and I was So now there was an very glad that I did, because I spent unseemly race for marriages in order a very enjoyable time filling in the to produce a legitimate heir to the many gaps in my knowledge. throne. It is amazing to think that Charlotte, born in 1796, was a had Charlotte lived, Queen Victoria lonely child, with separated may not have been born and we parents. She seems to have been a would have had a Charlottian age bit of a chip off the old Royal block, instead of a Victorian one. Charlotte being described as wilful, stubborn may even have chosen the Royal and liable to temper tantrums. Yet, Pavilion as her main palace, making unlike her father, she was a great Brighton an even more exciting place favourite with the people who to live. Anyway, I recommend seeing regarded her as the ‘daughter of this exhibition. The fee is included in England’, their future queen. Her the price for entry to the Royal marriage in 1816 to the handsome Pavilion, which for residents is Prince Leopold of Saxe-Coburg £4.90. A bargain!

Will Harris will it be third time lucky?

O

n and off, I have been dating S for the better part of the last two years. Mostly off, actually. First time round, our blossoming romance was curtailed on our fourth date, when he took me out, bought me a three course meal, and – on a street corner, beneath a crescent moon – told me he was junking me for his exboyfriend. I turned on my heel and refused to look back.

Perhaps a year later, S came into my life again. We bumped into each other at the bar of a charity cocktail party, and a little over a week later were kissing on the steps of Southwark tube. A year, I thought, had made all the difference. The two of us were older, wiser, and – perhaps most importantly of all – his ex-boyfriend had his visa revoked and was consequently in another time zone.

So we dated for a few months, and it was all going well until the day Amy Winehouse died, when I had what can only be described as a ‘Britney Spears with the epilady meltdown’ and called everything off for the most inconsequential reasons. After that we drifted, with only occasional texts (usually misspelt and heavy with the scent of one too many Jagermeisters) to break radio silence.

Then, on New Year’s Day, I decided to throw caution to the wind. “You’re an idiot,” I typed. “We were so good together, so why aren’t we together?”

Teen Spirit Tasha Dhanraj on low energy, high impact gifts

I

just spent £12 purchasing and You had to swim in the fountain to shipping a bag of chocolate crisp get it? You were then arrested for bites from Germany to my home trespass and were taken to jail in Burgess Hill. Let me repeat that, where you had to buy your ‘twelve pounds’. They are these tiny freedom back by teaching the cornflake, toffee things smothered prison guard English? Well, that’s in chocolate and are made by a nice. Thanks, mate!” But at the continental confectionary brand, end of the day, with zero effort, not sold in the UK. When I bought the response would still be “Ahh, a them in France last month, they box of chocolates from the cost two euros. newsagent? Well, that’s nice.

I know why I Thanks, mate!” felt the need to This stupid idea buy them. It was of ‘better’ Mother’s Day and “Start a gift buying meaning the I knew that my same as ‘elusive’ mum loved them. revolution!” is why there’s Despite there such a market for being thousands first edition books of very similar products on the or beanie babies with tags on. shelf of every single supermarket, They’re difficult to find, but I convenience shop and petrol guarantee that something people station in the land, I felt the need really want will be just as loved if to buy these ones. you found it in a skip, but just There does seem to be an gave it a good scrub. inherent notion with gift buying, I declare we start a gift-buying that the more effort to get revolution! Next time you have a something, the more precious friend’s birthday coming up, don’t a present it is. It’s ridiculous think about how to make a because the response we get massive effort; think about what to giving someone something you can get within ten minutes of incredibly difficult to get, entering Churchill Square; a gift compared to something that we that won’t be hidden away in a box picked out of the Argos catalogue, because it has no practical use or is pretty minimal. Say you got is seemingly too rare and valuable something incredible, the to ever actually enjoy. It’s not response would be: “What? You got laziness – it’s sensible. Besides, in me a genuine Roman coin from the this economy, nobody should ever year 112 AD that was at the pay more than £2 for chocolates bottom of an ancient fountain? that come in a plastic bag.

“We were good together,” came the reply. “I think I’d like to see you when I get back to London.”

And now it is tonight, and S is sitting across the table from me, and there’s a bottle of Sauvignon between us (silently adjudicating, as it has done on so many of our previous dates), and we are finally going to have it out.

“I think we’re very similar” he says. “We’re both highly strung...”

“I’m not...” I begin, and catching his smirk, close my mouth firmly.

“So when we hit a snag, neither of us wants to be the first to back down. The problem is that now so much stuff has happened, it’s hard to remember a time when one of us wasn’t pissed off at something the other one said or did...”

“A bottle of Sauvignon, silently adjudicating as it had done on so many previous dates” “Or who they decided to trot off back to,” I say (in my head). Out loud I say: “So you still like me then?”

“Of course I like you. Why do you think I helped edit your application for your promotion at work?”

I shrug. “You work in HR.” “It was seven pages long!”

S smiles at me. And although I’m smiling too, inwardly I know that if the man of my dreams turns out to have been him all along, I’m going to kick off big style. follow me on twitter

latestwill

Illustration: Neil Webb www.neilwebbillustration.co.uk

William Tells

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018_LS571_interview_011_LS466_interview 29/03/2012 11:59 Page 2

18

L7 INTERVIEW explore the wreck. We actually dived it 12 times during the course of making the film in 1995, before we started the fictional portion of the movie in 1996. That was my first deep ocean expedition. Since then I’ve done six additional deep ocean expeditions, two more of which were to the Titanic. I’ve totaled 33 dives to the wreck and explored the interior of the wreck.”

TITANIC VOYAGE

What are the most striking memories you have of making Titanic?

“The best moments involved getting to explore the Titanic for real. Also, walking the deck of the ship on the set was great because the set was absolutely gorgeous. It was like being on Titanic and it was pretty amazing. I think the worst memory was just the feeling that we had during post-production that everybody was against us.

There was a lot of negative press that seemed to be making us look like the biggest nincompoops in Hollywood history. But we just had faith that we were doing something that was cool, maybe something that had quality. There was a really dark period. I had a razor blade that I taped to my screen on my Avid where I was cutting the film, because I was one of the three editors. And above it there was a little note that said: ‘use this in case the film sucks! [laughs.] It was a way of reminding myself that the only way out of this was to make a good movie. And in a way that pressure served us well because it made us less compromising.”

Director James Cameron talks to Latest 7 about the re-release of his blockbuster film, Titanic, this time in 3D and coinciding with the 100th anniversary of the ship’s doomed voyage Why did you decide to convert Titanic to 3D? “I think it is really exciting to bring Titanic back to the big screen after it has been gone for 15 years.

There’s a whole generation of people that has never seen the film in a movie theatre. I’m a strong believer in the theatrical experience in general, but specifically for this film. When people commit three hours to sit in a dark room and share the journey with these characters, they will find that it’s very powerful.”

Would you have shot the original film in 3D if the technology had been available?

“If I was filming Titanic tomorrow, I’d be shooting it in 3D for sure. It wasn’t on anybody’s radar though in 1995 when we started this movie. It was a good 10 years later that the 3D market really became economically viable.”

What is involved in converting Titanic to 3D? “Every shot in the whole film becomes a visual effect. We’ve got a team of 300 artists working on it and the process involves assigning depth to every object and every part of every character in the frame. My team of technical guys have worked for us for years on all the native 3D photography that we’ve done, so they know what good 3D is supposed to look like. They process it and then they show it to me. Then I go through it frame by frame to get the depth right. Then they have to do what they call ‘clean up,’ hand painting in the missing information. Every time you start moving objects around in a flat picture that was photographed 15 years ago, you have to paint in the missing part of it and it has to be done flawlessly. We’re not trying to elicit applause because we’re having to work so hard. We’re trying to show that there is a way to do conversion so that it is virtually indistinguishable from actually shooting in 3D.” Why do you think the story of the Titanic continues to be so compelling?

“There have certainly been many things that have happened since 1912 that have been much more horrific in terms of loss of life: two world wars, genocide, the use of nuclear weapons against

human targets—all kinds of horrible things. But there’s something enduring about the Titanic story. I think that it’s because it’s like a perfectly written novel that really happened. There was an arrogance among people who thought they could take this ship with over 2,000 people onboard, going full steam through a known ice field, despite the warnings. They thought ‘It can’t happen to us.

We’re too big to fail.’ Now where have we heard that before? There are so many parables for our contemporary existence in this story. When a disaster like that strikes, you have some people acting as cowards and others acting as heroes, with a sense of self-sacrifice. You also have the class structure. They saw the iceberg ahead but they didn’t have time to turn; the ship was too big, it was going too fast. The metaphors of Titanic just keep repeating themselves throughout history.

I think that’s partly why it continues to fascinate.

It is also a love story of course. But there’s really something much more than that going on here.

It’s a love story overshadowed by death.”

“There are so many parables for our contemporary existence in this story” Does that help to explain why Titanic was such a huge hit?

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about why Titanic was the number one movie in every single market around the world where it played. It was speaking to people on levels that transcended language and culture. It transcended the rich or poor status of people’s lives and it spoke to people as human beings. It examines what love means in the context of death. It looks at our relationships and how we live our lives, and how we deal with other people.”

What does the Titanic mean to you?

“The Titanic has a great deal of meaning for me personally. I made the film because I wanted to

Would you like to see other movies converted to 3D? “There are a lot of films that I’d love to see converted. Hopefully with Titanic 3D and with Star Wars 3D we can start to show that there is an economic model for this that makes sense. But we think it has to be done right. There’s no point in doing it and creating all that ballyhoo only to have some kind of compromised experience. The 3D adaptation of Titanic is a very natural one, because my style was already set up to enhance the idea of depth. That may not apply to a lot of filmmakers and a lot of styles, which is why if movies are starting out now and they want to release them in 3D, they should just shoot them in 3D. With Titanic, we’re spending this kind of time and energy to simulate after the fact what that native photography would have been like had I been there with the 3D camera. It is a daunting task. And we’ve set the bar very high.”

Titanic 3D is in cinemas on 6 April 2012.

WIN! Titanic goodie bags We have teamed up with Fox to offer three lucky readers the chance to win a Titanic goodie bag. Each set contains a T-shirt (size: M) luggage tag and bracelet.

For the chance to win, just tell us: Which female artist sang “My Heart Will Go On’?

Email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Titanic’ in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget your name and contact details. Closing date for entries 26 April 2012.

019_LS571_meadowlands_festival__food 30/03/2012 14:42 Page 1

Field of dreams

COVER FEATURE

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Lamb

2012 Meadowlands festival line-up announced

Leroy Horns and special guests; plus an eye opening, fun loving night with The Pussycat Club.

Past Meadowlands artists such as Turin Brakes and The Correspondents have proved to be popular with attendees, putting Meadowlands at the forefront of cutting edge music and introducing new artists.

This year’s festival will see over 80 acts; four stages; six club nights; spoken word and comedy; a charity casino; woodland area plus kids entertainment and workshops.

Meadowlands Festival, Glynde Place, East Sussex, Fri 1–Sun 3 June 2012, £20–£85 weekend, £10–£45 day, (under fives: free) www.meadowlandsfestival.com

M

eadowlands is excited to announce the initial line-up for this year’s festival, which is taking place in Glynde, East Sussex from 1–3 June, 2012. From rap to rave and folk to funk, here’s a peek at this year’s eclectic line-up.

LTJ Bukem The godfather of drum and base, LTJ Bukem, will do a four hour set taking people from the birth of the acidhouse rave scene through banging break beats and dirty drum and bass.

Speech Debelle Winner of the 2009 Mercury Music Prize Award, Speech Debelle, will be showcasing her soulful and raw new album. She is described by Digital Spy as “the energy and frustration of the past three years exploding onto the tapes in a cascade of energy and fastflowing rhymes”.

Lamb Forming 15 years ago and playing festivals like The Big Chill and

Speech Debelle

Glastonbury, Lamb will present a remarkable juxtaposition of kinetic, beat driven programming and transcendental melody.

Made up of Andy Barlow and Lou Rhodes, Lamb will be joined by a host of up and coming acts including This Is the Kit and Glass Diamond.

Fink

Club Nights As well as artists, Meadowlands Festival will also feature amazing club nights from the Jazz Rooms featuring Russ Dewbury and worldwide guests; Roots Garden featuring Kenny Knots,

Out & about

With the sun shining and the kids on Easter break, Brighton has lots of family fun on offer

W

Pic: Sussex Wildlife Trust/Words: Ciaran Bushby

hen the first rays of sun break through the bleak mood of winter, jumpers come off, sunglasses go on and suntan lotion is usually forgotten. Keeping the whole family occupied doesn’t need to be a challenge with the range of activities available for all ages.

Brighton’s rich history and fashionable contemporary scene make entertainment easy to find whatever your interest. Take advantage of the wealth of culture right on your doorstep and experience the best of local produce or even educate the kids without them realising. Living in one of the top tourist destinations in the country, you barely need to step out of the house to be somewhere, with literally hundreds of top events and attractions within a stone’s throw.

For a free day out (if you can ignore the pleas for ice cream), Brighton beach is an old favourite, but you’d be well advised to do away with the notion that the city is a suntrap and nothing else. With a bustling city centre and the countryside only a few miles away, Brighton can serve up a truly unique and varied range of experiences, from boutique shopping to extreme sports.

Events like the Brighton & Hove Children’s Festival provide distraction for children while the parents can take a break, unless they want to join in for some great family bonding. Travelling a little further afield you can discover a host of theatrical performances at Worthing Theatre, with appearances from famous faces adding a dash of glamour.

For those wishing to stay close to home however, Brighton provides more than enough entertainment every day of the week. Leaving the kids with a sitter might be the preferred option when sampling the city’s more cultured offerings. Famous venues, restaurants and locations cater for those in search of a child free environment, although they probably won’t be quiet affairs.

Whichever way you look at it, there’s no excuse for complaining about being bored in this city.

Line-up to date: •LTJ Bukem •Speech Debelle •Lamb •Fink (Ninja Tune) •Rough Fields •This Is The Kit •Hyperpotamus •Forestears •Glass Diamond •Portico Quartet •Ouse Valley Three •Poppy Perrez •Jo Quail •House Of Hats •Shona Foster •Skinny Lister •Rose Divine & The D’Villes •Film Of Colour •Apples and Eve •Martin Rossiter •North Atlantic

Oscillation •Tiny Dragons •Hollowmoon •Thomas J Speight •Naomi Bedford •The River Boys •The Woo! Worths •MOK •Pink Narcissus •Soccer 96 •The Peppermint Beat Band •Maker •The Muel •Grasscut •Memotone •Caramel Jack •Absent Elk •Roots Garden •Pussycat Club •Jazz Rooms •Catholic Discipline

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FAMILY DAYS OUT

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FAMILY DAYS OUT

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Middle Farm

Not a million miles away, there’s a different world; where you can get up close and personal with cows, sheep, pigs and goats; meet newly born lambs, calves and kids, and get out into fields with horses, llamas, and donkeys. Inside, there are newly hatched chicks, playful rabbits, guinea pigs and tiny harvest mice as well as huge bales of straw to climb on and crawl under.

When you need more energy head for the tearoom/restaurant for scrumptious food, freshly prepared in the farmhouse kitchens, or browse the largest assortment of Sussex grown/made produce anywhere, in the award-winning farm shop. Seasonal Sussex fruit and vegetables are available along with Sussex meat, cheeses, eggs, jams, honeys, chutneys, jellies and juices. Sussex ice cream and even Sussex chocolate are all on offer as well as three local bakeries, 13 Sussex vineyards, 14 Sussex breweries and ten Sussex cider makers.

Middle Farm, Firle, Lewes, East Sussex, BN8 6LJ 01323 811411, www.middlefarm.com

Children’s Festival

UKpix.com

Brighton Walks With a fresh and witty approach, Lyn Neville, a Blue Badge qualified tourist guide, runs Brighton Walks. Her in-depth knowledge of the city and its history make for a fun and informative experience.

Brighton Walks – the alternative way to see Brighton – has a range of tours for both individuals and pre-booked groups of all ages. Brighton Breezy – an hour-long walk starting from Brighton Pier – is a perfect way to find your feet in the city.

Both the Murder & Mystery and Ghost Walks are spine tingling and edifying. The Jubilee Walk highlights the city’s royal connections and the tour of the iconic North Laine covers how this unique area has developed. Specialising in the English curriculum from KS1 to degree level, Lyn’s walks are popular with students and teachers.

She is an expert in ‘clear English’ tours for language students. For corporate events and celebrations, hen nights and birthday treats, Brighton Walks are a great way to explore Brighton. Children’s parties are also catered for!

With a wide variety of walks during the Brighton Festival and her finger on the pulse of the city, Lyn keeps up-to-date with Brighton’s beat.

Brighton Walks, 01273 302100, 07775 870 195, email info@brightonwalks.com

Brighton & Hove Children’s Festival returns for its fifth edition from 6–15 April 2012. This year they have thousands of creative opportunities for children under 11 and their families, all based around the theme of ‘bravery’.

Festival highlights include: You’ll Like This Film Because You’re In It: Families make their own one-take short films in one hour 15 minutes.

Coraline (PG): Film Screening and Workshop – Come to the button factory and make a brave ‘other-self’ portrait before settling down to watch this beautiful, stop-motion masterpiece.

Brave Tails: Come and hear an extraordinary new site-specific story written by Graham Shackell set in the depths of Brighton’s Komedia Theatre and find out what really lurks backstage. Be brave, be very brave.

Sea Splash: With the rising popularity of year-round wild swimming Brighton & Hove Children’s Festival invite you to be one of the first people in Brighton & Hove to have a dip in the sea in 2012.

John Hegley: In a special one-off performance the people’s poet laureate performs with film, music and lots of joining in.

For full listings and to book tickets visit www.thechildrensfestival.co.uk. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook, BHChildrensFest.

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FAMILY DAYS OUT

Competition Latest 7 and Worthing Theatres have two pairs of tickets to give away to see Fever Pitch on Saturday 28 April at the Pavilion Theatre. Brighton-based company The Future Is Unwritten present Paul Hodson’s popular adaptation of Nick Hornby’s best-selling book. It invites you into the mind of an obsessed Arsenal fan and remembers the days when football was ‘the people’s game’, promising 45 minutes each way of exhilarating theatre.

For your chance to win one of the pairs of tickets simply answer this question: Q. What is Arsenal’s home-ground called?

A. Stamford Bridge B. Old Trafford C. The Emirates Stadium

Worthing Theatres There’s still time to catch a theatrical treat for Easter with hilarious children’s character Theo the Mouse visiting Worthing’s Pavilion Theatre (7 April) with his friends Wink Taylor and Wendy Abrahams. Wink has performed alongside fellow entertainers Ken Dodd, Paul Daniels and Norman Wisdom and is the voice behind Chatterbox Soundcards. Wendy is a ventriloquist and puppeteer and together they invite audiences to join them in Theo’s afternoon of magical mayhem.

There’s also the ideal show for a night with your girlfriends.

All The Single Ladies (13 April) at the Connaught Theatre stars Men Behaving Badly’s Leslie Ash, EastEnders’ Brooke Kinsella and The Omid Djalili Show’s Tara Flynn in a tale of hangovers, revenge and lots of laughs, as romances unravel and new love becomes a possibility.

For these and many more live shows plus blockbuster films in 2D and 3D visit www.worthingtheatres.co.uk or call the box office on 01903 206206.

Worthing Theatres, Union Place, Worthing, BN11 1LG.

The Alternative way to see Brighton Guided tours for individuals and pre-booked groups by a Blue Badge qualified Tourist Guide Our entertaining, interesting and informative walks include Brighton Breezy, Diamond Jubilee, Seaside Saunter, Festival Walks, The North Laine, Murder & Mystery and for serious ghost hunters only - Ghost Walks.

Treasure Hunts - ideal for corporate events and private parties.

Themed parties, great for children of all ages!

Fully qualified and insured - enhanced CRB checks

Further details, email info@brightonwalks.com 07775 870 195 01273 302100

www.visitbrighton.com

Send your name and daytime telephone number along with your answer to The Latest Fever Pitch Competition, Pavilion Theatre, Marine Parade, Worthing, BN11 3PX. Alternatively you may email competitions@adur-worthing.gov.uk.

Entries must be received by Monday 16 April.

023_LS571_EcoSpa_Editorial 30/03/2012 14:31 Page 2

HEALTH & BEAUTY

An urban oasis Kirsty Taylor from Uniquely Organic EcoSpa, Hove Time for some fun April Fools’ Day is a fun start to a month often associated with sunshine as well as showers and it sets the pattern for a period of lightening up after winter. April is the time to start casting off our cares and winter woollies and embracing a new season.

Changing the way we look makes us more psychologically attuned to change and we feel the urge to prepare our bodies as well as our minds for some uplifting weeks ahead. Well, a month that starts light-heartedly needs to continue on a similar note, doesn’t it?

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Spring fever Massages are a good investment health-wise for in-between seasons as people often get ill at these times. A professional massage neutralises harmful hormones and can help improve your immune system. The feel-good hormones of dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin (the hugging hormone) are increased, while hormones associated with stress and lowering the immune system are reduced. Uniquely Organic offers a sumptuous selection of massages and who knows, feeling amazing in yourself may spur you on to apply for that new job or course.

New men’s, baby & home ranges Finally, we’re thrilled to announce our new Willow Organic ranges due to arrive shortly. They’re all gorgeous, professional products which are beautifully-packaged and affordable. Look out for these luxury items and Spring into retail therapy.

Scrub & polish It’s time for pampering and where better to start than with an organic spray tan or a pedicure to smarten up those tootsies? At the EcoSpa, we offer some great beauty treatments to suit the season. An organic spray tan costs just £25 and you emerge with a sun-kissed look, without any of the harmful chemicals often associated with fake tans. We also have a Scrub Up And Glow tanning package for £57, which includes a Body Delight treatment (a thorough exfoliation) and then natural-look tan two days later to boost your confidence.

Feet, encased in boots for the last few months, deserve attention and we offer two superb detailed organic pedicures. Choose a trendy Zoya Spring nail varnish to complete your flip-flop look and be footloose and fancy-free.

Uniquely Organic EcoSpa 40 Church Rd, Hove, BN3 2FN 01273 726973 info@uoecospa.com www.uoecospa.com follow me on twitter @UniquelyOrganic

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How you care for your skin today has a lot to do with what it’ll look like in several years. As Dermalogica skin care therapists, we are expertly trained to restore your skin to its optimum health, ensuring that it will look its best.

Our innovative techniques and cutting-edge formulations deliver maximum results in a minimum of time...and for years to come.

Visit us today for product samples perfect for your skin.

2 0 % off all Dermalogica facials (normally £46 now only £36.80)

2 0 % off all Dermalogica products Enzo Beauty 16, St George's Road, Kemp Town, Brighton BN2 6TA

01273 622 200 www.enzohairandbeauty.com

024_025_LS571_health_Revitalise 30/03/2012 12:40 Page 2

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HEALTH& BEAUTY

Smooth talking Dare to bare this summer with laser hair removal for long-lasting, smooth results

S

ick of shaving? Weary of waxing? You’re not alone. With the weather warming up, we want to be able to shed those layers and step out in shorts, cropped trousers and skirts, or swimwear on the beach. But milk bottle legs aren’t our biggest concern (we have self-tanning lotions for that!). Unwanted hair can be a small niggle or a huge worry, but it can be effectively treated with laser hair removal. Now is the perfect time of year for Intense Pulsed Light (IPL) treatment, as it isn’t suitable when you have a sun tan. “It’s ideal because we can start courses of treatment before your holiday and then you’ll be ready for wearing shorts and summer clothes, and of course showing off your lovely gleaming body on the beach, cruise ship or poolside,” explains A New You in Brighton, who use the Gentlelase system. “If you’re going on holiday during the course, you’ll need to wait approximately four weeks for your suntan to fade before we undertake a further treatment.”

Who’s it for?

For women it may be the bikini line, legs, underarms or face; for men (yes, laser hair removal is extremely popular with men too!) it can be

HIGHLY EXPERIENCED THERAPISTS OFFERING IPL TREATMENTS FOR • HAIR REMOVAL • THREAD VEIN & PIGMENTATION REMOVAL • PHOTOREJUVENATION ANTI-AGEING TREATMENT

FREE CONSULTATION & TEST PATCH PLUS 20% OFF YOUR 1st TREATMENT WHEN YOU MENTION LATEST 7 www.beautyworks.net

01273 420198

2 BURLINGTON PARADE, BN41 2DJ

FREE & EASY PARKING

024_025_LS571_health_Revitalise 30/03/2012 12:37 Page 3

HEALTH& BEAUTY 25 great for the back, chest and neck. Forget about shaving rashes and stubble a few days later – IPL effectively treats the area, leaving skin smooth and hair regrowth to a minimum or none at all!

It’s not for everyone though, as Xenia from Beauty Works in Portslade (who use the Ecolite IPL system) explains: “If you’re blonde, laser hair removal doesn’t work well – the paler your skin and darker the hair the better. The laser light is drawn to pigment in the hair which then denatures it.”

The hair can then grow back but with continued treatment, very “Skin is left smooth little or no hair grows in the end. A with hair regrowth lifetime of smooth results with unwanted hair removed – to a minimum – or permanently. But how often would you need to go? “On average six, in none at all!” some cases eight treatments are needed,” says Shadi of the Shadi Danin Medi-Spa who use the Saprino XL system. “This is if it’s not hormonal or a genetic problem.” Treatment on hormonal hair growth – the upper lip – will reduce hair growth but results are not permanent.

Safety first On your first visit, a thorough consultation will be made. A patch test on a small area of skin will find you the correct setting of the laser and how your skin responds. This is essential before treating a larger area of skin.

As mentioned, results cannot be guaranteed. Depending on the hair and the number of treatments, regrowth will be lighter and finer or non-existent.

Start a course of treatment now ready for the summer season ahead.

There are plenty of special offers to take advantage of locally from Beauty Works, Shadi Danin Medi-Spa and A New You. Beauty Works, 2 Burlington Parade, Burlington Gardens, Portslade, BN41 2DJ, 01273 420198, www.beautyworks.net A New You, 78 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4EB, 01273 604444, www.a-newyou.co.uk Shadi Danin Medi-Spa, 70 New Church Road, Hove, BN3 4FL, 01273 738409, www.shadidanin.com follow me on twitter

latestzara

Pain Free – Hair Free Laser Soprano (using our latest hair removal) at Shadi Danin Medi-Spa How many times have you wished you no longer had to shave, pluck or wax unwanted hair?

And have you ever worried about the pain of the procedures?

Here at the Shadi Danin Medi-Spa, we have a comfortable way to permanently eliminate hair, thanks to pain-free, hair-free laser.

Telephone: 01273 738409 70 New Church Road, Hove BN3 4FL

026_LS571_hotlist_Hotlist 30/03/2012 13:21 Page 2

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HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist

Chinese Gars Restaurant

Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Brazilian The Loop Café-Bar & Coffee House

Nestling on Kemp Town seafront is this contemporary Anglo-Brazilian café-bar with a menu that features traditional English fare as well as some tasty Brazilian dishes.

Whether you choose one of the stylish red sofas, or the sunny south-facing front terrace, you can enjoy free Wi-Fi while you savour the homemade food and great selection of coffees. Open 10am–6pm seven days a week.

The Loop, 16 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 677944, www.theloop-brighton.co.uk

British & modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials.

Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Blanch House

Enjoy a leisurely Sunday lunch at Blanch House, Brighton’s iconic boutique hotel in central Kemp Town. The locally sourced menu features Sussex Smokie, 21-day aged rib of Sussex beef, Sussex pork loin and their signature ‘Blanch House’ sticky toffee pudding along with a selection of Sussex cheeses. Two courses for £15.95 and three courses for £19.95. Call to book your table.

Blanch House, 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, BN2 1PL, 01273 603504, info@blanchhouse.co.uk, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

The Foragers

Winners of the prestigious Sussex Food and Drink Finals 2012 for Best Eating Experience in Sussex and awarded an AA Rosette for their excellent cuisine. Furthermore, take advantage of their award winning beer garden while the sun shines. To celebrate these accolades they are offering complimentary champagne cocktails to all bookings of ten or more, just make sure to mention Latest 7 when making your party booking !

The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, BN3 3YU 01273 733134, www.theforagerspub.co.uk

The Medicine Chest

The Medicine Chest is receiving glowing reviews for its fabulous new menu from head chef Sebastien Dupire. Look out for his signature Tournedos Rossini soon to feature on the spring menu. Move downwards to the

Blanch House

bar for Mick Fuller’s Soul nights starting every Friday from 2 March. The last word in cocktails, this bar is also available for private hire. Call or book online.

The Medicine Chest, 51-55 Brunswick Street East, Hove BN3 1AU, 01273 770002, www.themedicinechest.co.uk

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting.

Locally owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list compliments their wholesome and satisfying food. The kids’ menu is also great value.

Open Mon–Fri, 5pm–9.30pm; Sat–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm, and open all day bank holidays. Plus the garden is now open!

The Old Bank, 120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200, www.oldbankkemptownbrighton.com

Paris Wine Bar

In the heart of Hove, this stylish and comfortable wine bar is the perfect place to relax and enjoy a varied selection of fantastic wines from all over the world.

Delicious homemade food served every day, with a menu offering great value, a selection of modern light bites. Classics such as homemade burgers, fish and chips plus a special lunch menu served everyday from 12–4pm. Traditional roasts also available, families and children welcome – booking recommended. Live jazz music every Tuesday 6.30pm–9.30pm. Plus their fantastic garden is now open! It is the perfect place to enjoy great food and great wine with friends and family! Open from midday to midnight Sunday to Thursday, and midday to 2am Friday and Saturday.

Paris Wine Bar, 119 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2AF, 01273 778013.

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The Upper Deck Restaurant at Rendezvous Casino

For a different dining experience, The Upper Deck Restaurant is set in the heart of the casino action while offering spectacular views over the English Channel, allowing you to enjoy the best of both worlds during your dining experience at the Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina. You don’t need to be a member to dine in The Upper Deck Restaurant; food is served from 12pm to 3am, and on Sunday evenings they serve a fabulous Chinese buffet available for just £5 per person.

The Upper Deck Restaurant, Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina, 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com/brighton

The Foragers

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

Deli Cassons New York Style Deli

Bringing a little bit of New York to your city, this newly opened deli on 48a Norfolk Square (Eastside) is fresh, clean and wholesome. It has a wide range of food including traditional salt beef, homemade soups, three-step salads, sandwiches, bagels and much more. There is also a great selection of drinks on offer. Pop in for something slightly different to the norm. Open six days a week, 8am–4pm. Cassons also delivers – just phone your order through before 11.30am.

Cassons New York Style Deli, 48a Norfolk Square, Brighton 01273 737222 www.cassonsnewyorkstyledeli.co.uk

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away.

Beautiful cakes made to order.

Cocoa, 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs.

No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude; everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer.

Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm.

New Steine Bistro, 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95.

Fat Leo, 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared daily and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily.

Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am –3pm Sat, Mediterraneo Deli, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350, www.mediterraneodeli.co.uk

Private catering VTP Caterers Sussex

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Chaula’s Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Based in Southwick, VTP Caterers are the Sussex specialists in vintage tea parties and china hire, starting at an amazing £8.99 pp inclusive of food and china! They also specialise in wedding cupcakes with 18 devine flavours to choose from! All types of celebrations and events are catered for including weddings, birthday parties, anniversaries, hen parties and business meetings. They also sell delicious layer and loaf cakes, tray bakes freshly made to order and to cater for special diets and allergies. All made at their home kitchen which has been passed by their local authority, and they have a Level 2 hygiene certificate. Proprietor Patricia has over 22 years experience in the catering business.

Deliveries are free on orders over £50 or you are welcome to collect. Trade enquiries are welcome.

Call Patricia 01237 413829 or visit www.vintageteapartysussex.webs.com

The Chilli Pickle

Spanish

Indian Chaula’s

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can feast upon a selection of award-winning King Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Roomali Roti wraps and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too. The Chilli Pickle has been recognised with a Michelin Bib, two AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK restaurant in The National Restaurant Awards and runners-up in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards. Lunch is served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential.

The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com

Agua Dulce

If you like your tapas authentic then this is the place for you. Brilliant traditional Spanish food with regional specialities in relaxed surroundings.

Superb meat, fish and seafood tapas plus excellent larger dishes like their suckling pig.

There is live flamenco every Thursday, and new for 2012 is Tapas Tuesday where you can get 50 per cent off tapas from a selected menu (booking essential). Paella, sangria...All that’s missing is the Mediterranean sun!

Agua Dulce, 10-11 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NE, 01273 328672, www.aguadulce-restaurant.com

Italian

Thai

Donatello

The Green Mango

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and ‘gin yur yur’ (eat a lot!)

The Green Mango, 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, www.thegreenmangohove.com

027_LS571_food__food 30/03/2012 15:39 Page 1

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay test drives Latest Dining Deals and books a table at Hotel Seattle

The deal is on W

hen first approached with the Latest Dining Deals concept I admit to being ambivalent. There has been so much made of coupon dining in the last year and some of it rather bad. I’m also most likely to choose where I dine based on what I feel like eating rather than being offered a coupon with a massive discount. The proof, as they say, would be in the pudding. As a mere pudding would not be evidence enough, this would be getting the full three course trial.

So I embarked on my very first Latest Dining Deals adventure. It starts online and it’s easy enough to find on our home page at thelatest.co.uk, to the right and down a bit. Click there and it will take you to the Latest Dining Deals page.

Once on the page I found a list of participating restaurants for that day, lots of choice and some real bargains. But I was looking for something a few days ahead.

Was that possible? Yes it was, I quickly found at the top of the page a way of making an advance booking. Once on the date that I required a further list of restaurants popped up and in amongst them Hotel Seattle.

I have enjoyed many great meals at Hotel Seattle so I was happy to “A short while later the fill in the form when I had phone went ping and there hit the red ‘Book A Table’ button. I then had to select a time, confirm the it was, signed sealed and number of people and fill delivered so to speak” in a simple form with my mobile number. The mobile number is the way you receive your booking confirmation, by SMS text message, but also the way that you pay your booking fee which is £5 for a table of two and three and £10 for tables of four and over.

A short while later the phone went ping and there it was, signed sealed and delivered so to speak. It really could not have been simpler, and the £5 booking fee is a small price to pay when your food bill is literally halved.

On the Saturday I went down to the Marina with Mr R and his mum. I simply showed the waiter my SMS message and he welcomed us to a great table in the glazed terrace. No mention was made of the deal and the only time that it came up was when the bill arrived and there the 50 per cent discount had been clearly made on our food.

The restaurant at Hotel Seattle is as good as ever and very soon we had a good bottle of muscadet, sparkling water and a plate of divine home made bread. Mr R started with an excellent chicken and foie gras parfait with toast.

Mummy R chose scallops, a generous portion with crisp pancetta and cauliflower puree. I went all retro and had whitebait, really good whitebait, with a chilli mayo that had been made with sweet chilli sauce, an odd idea but one that worked rather well with the crisp little fishies.

For main course Mr R had chorizo with mash and confit onions. He loved it but wanted more onion. It was no problem and an extra portion arrived pretty fast. Mummy R had roast chicken with roast season fruits and vegetables. It too was great, although rather large and she did struggle to finish.

27

I chose the slow roast pork belly with bubble and squeak and I loved it. It should have come with glazed carrots but very obligingly they allowed me to change that to cabbage. The pork was very good, the crackling crackled and the bubble was bliss. I was a very happy Latest Dining Dealer.

Mummy R failed to get to dessert but when pushed had coffee and petit fours, very pretty they were too. Mr R had an espresso creme bruleé which was damned fine and I had a good bread and butter pudding and a brilliant cup of piping hot espresso.

I was glad of the coffee too when the manager brought over two different glasses of grappa for me to try. He is a big grappa fan and has quite a collection, an eye opening collection too. My memories of grappa always come with a stinker of a headache but these were very nice indeed, fragrant, delicate even.

A real revelation. I suggest you ask him to advise as I am certainly a convert.

All in all a first class meal for which our bill came to around £35 for the food with drinks on top, £12 a head for three courses. Now that really is a deal and frankly, even if we had not been on a deal and had paid £24 each for the food I would have been very impressed, Hotel Seattle looks great still and the kitchen serves up a treat. There are other great deals on their menus that are worth looking out for as well.

Hotel Seattle, Brighton Marina, Brighton, BN2 5WA 01273 679799, www.hotelseattlebrighton.com Have you tried Latest Dining Deals? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

028_029_LS571_reviewsbookings_Reviews 30/03/2012 11:18 Page 2

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REVIEWS

L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk

SUPERB SHOW JOURNEY TO X, The Old Market Theatre, 17 March JJJJJ

I

t started with a bang and the pace didn’t let up for an hour in a rocking, riveting piece of modern theatre. It had all the energy and laughs of a teenage party. It definitely had the X Factor, and I don’t mean Susan Boyle. Olivia Fallon played the pregnant teenager in search of an abortion in an understated and totally believable way. The scene with her ex-boyfriend (who had made her pregnant) was the stand-out moment and Charlie Suff played the mixed-up boy, Dave, so well that he got a round of applause as he left the stage. If they were remaking Rebel Without a Cause, look no further, this guy is the real deal. Felix Brown played Vince, the nasty kid, with just the right amount of Saturday night West Street bravado and cowardice as Jamie-Leigh Gilbert provided amazing modern street dance in a fabulous dance troupe. I loved the fast exciting direction but in a rave review you should have a criticism, so I would have liked the actors to always play naturally to each other and not to the audience at all. But hey, I’m still giving it five stars! I’ve got to go now as I’m going to try and sign up Olivia, Charlie, oh hey, all of them for my TV show, I’m not joking. Journey to X by Nancy Harris and ACT Brighton (14 to 17 year olds) is brilliant.

Bill Smith

UKRAINIAN NATIONAL OPERA OF KHARKIV IN LA BOHÈME

Ellen Kent productions told this tragic love story well, although the sets were flimsy and rather cramped. Mimi (most beautifully sung by Elena Dee) was properly the centre of attention, rather than the pranks of the men. The lovers’ separation in Act Three was truly chilling. Andriy Kalyuzhniy gave Colline’s often sentimental ‘overcoat’ aria real, quiet sadness.

As Musetta (Maria Tsonina) prayed to the Virgin, she was poignantly upstaged by Schaunard (fine young baritone Volodymir Kozlov) silently taking Mimi’s dead hand. By then, all the joking had stopped.

Puccini is very well served by Gheorghe Stanciu’s fine and responsive orchestra..

Theatre Royal Brighton, 26 March JJJJJ Andrew Connal

THE X FACTOR LIVE

Memorable moments from tonight’s X Factor victory lap

included the uncontainable Johnny Robinson’s delirious Kylie routine, and firecracker Misha B’s gutsy ‘Rolling In The Deep’. Fearless Kitty Brucknell proved fabulously game, hoisted perilously aloft a 30ft pillar throughout ‘The Edge Of Glory’. Comparatively reserved performances by Amelia Lily, Craig Colton and The Risk focused on their natural vocal talents,

028_029_LS571_reviewsbookings_Reviews 30/03/2012 11:19 Page 3

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 29 although Janet Devlin evidently wished she was elsewhere.

Already proven chart stars, dynamic Marcus Collins and truly adored show winners Little Mix could both have delivered longer sets, ideally at the expense of the evening’s repetitive, small-screen X Factor clips.

Brighton Centre, 27 March JJJJJ Stuart Huggett

L7 Bookings On sale this week…

AN AUDIENCE WITH PAM AYRES

Pam Ayres’ diminutive figure came out to a packed Pavilion Theatre and from the moment she opened her mouth, the audience were in her thrall. She presented a mixture of crowd-pleasing greatest hits, new poems, anecdotes and readings from her autobiography. Pam, witty and charming with her distinctive rustic accent, delivered her punchlines beautifully. The humour was refreshingly inoffensive, almost an anachronism in today’s world, with a nostalgic warmth that really hits the spot. This show was like having a two hour cuddle in front of an open fire, perfect for a Sunday afternoon. And nobody can say the word “Kawasaki” like Pam. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 25 March JJJJJ Angela Barnes

CREATIVE STITCHES & HOBBYCRAFTS

Brighton Centre, 10–12 May 2012, £7.50/6.50/3 (children free if accompanied by an adult), 01273 687171, www.brightoncentre.co.uk Slap bang in the middle of the Festival and Fringe period is this fabulous exhibition, trade fair and Mecca for crafting ideas. With over 100 craft experts offering all the latest supplies and ideas in the world of creative craft and everything from sewing, knitting and cross stitch, to papercraft, jewellery making and pyrography, there is something for everyone.

BAD MANNERS WITH SPLODGENESSABOUNDS + THE PIRANHAS

Concorde 2, 10 June 2012, £18 + booking fee, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk English ska band, Bad Manners, quickly became the novelty favourites of the UK pop scene, living up to their name with naughty antics from front man Buster Bloodvessel.

They’re back again at firm favourite venue the Concorde 2, along with classic support from some equally rambunctious pals.

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

THE VIEW

Concorde 2, 24 June 2012, £14 + booking fee, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk The View issue their fourth album, entitled Cheeky For A Reason on 2 July. The album is the band’s fourth after the Mercury-nominated Number One debut ‘Hats Off To The Buskers’, the Top 10 follow-up ‘Which Bitch’ and 2011’s Top 20 ‘Bread & Circuses’. Here’s your chance to hear all of the top tunes before they hit the iTunes chart the following week.

The irrepressible Pauline Black has kept ska heroes The Selecter on track for 20 years since its revival, and with vocal foil Gaps Hendrickson back on board the group is producing some vital music.

Hitting the stage with a revitalised The Selecter – absent founder Neol Davies’ instrumental that helped launch the whole Two-Tone movement – the band rarely let the energy slip. Still politicised, songs from new album, Made In Britain, held their own among the hits, with Black and Hendrickson rallying Brighton’s rude boys and girls into a dance crazy sweat. A vibrant end to this glorious weekend.

Concorde 2, 25 March JJJJJ Stuart Huggett Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

comment@thelatest.co.uk

TOP 10

1 Osaro And RJ Shut Up And Dance 2 Moonlighter Every Time I Fall

3 Boa Marks Merchandised Eyes 4 The Fadadoo Project Lost in a crowd 5 The Last Cry Rebekka 6 Drewis Estoy Esperando 7 Shoot the Dead NW1 8 Coda Luna Folie a Deux

GREAT ESCAPE LATEST BANDS

Various venues, 10–12 May 2012, from £22, 0870 264 3333, www.escapegreat.com/buyTickets Brighton’s flagship music festival in the middle of the May has announced that amongst the 141 bands and musicians joining their line-up will be The Temper Trap, Gaz Coombes, The Black Belles, Citizens!, S.C.U.M, Haim and We Are Augustines. See the website for more details.

Gaz Coombes

DANDY DICK

THE SELECTER

8

Latest Brighton Download Chart

Theatre Royal Brighton, 28 June – 7 July 2012, £21.50, 08448 717650, www.atgtickets.com/brighton Opening the Theatre Royal Brighton’s new season is this splendid comedy written in Brighton 125 years ago by Arthur Wing Pinero. Starring Patricia Hodge and Nicholas Le Prevost it tells of a man influenced to accidental wickedness by his glorious tearaway sister. Such fun!

GREG DAVIES – THE BACK OF MY MUM’S HEAD

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 11 October 2012, £20, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org The massively tall award-winning comedian follows on from his brilliant show about the little joys in life (‘Throwing Cheeseballs At A Dog’) with this latest brand new show. Having cut its teeth at the Edinburgh Festival by the time it arrives with us, this will be sharp, original and hilarious.

The Dillinger

9 Dannydangerously HARIBO 10 Threepenny Thieves New Romantic Dance duo Osaro and RJ are unstoppable at that coveted Number One spot with ‘Shut Up and Dance’. There’s a battle between Moonlighter 'Every Time I Fall’, which has jumped up to two, knocking The Fadadoo Project's ‘Lost in a Crowd’ to four. Outside the top five there’s a new entry from The Fooley Mantras with ‘Best in People’, an angst-ridden indie track at 19. You can make a difference by listening to the tracks online, or if you think you’ve got ‘it’, then why not submit your own tracks and be top of the chart.

11 The Wolfgirl Liberation Tuesday 12 Tenek Submission – Radio Edit 13 Maria Mcateer – Her Night At Noon Drink The Pain Away 14 Zoe Konez When The Snow Came 15 Nick Conroy Forever 16 The Magik Word Break Free (Terrorvision) 17 Shoot the Dead Kill Machine Kill 18 Shoot the Dead Lullaby 19 The Fooley Mantras Best in People 20 Fireworks For Summer Building Fires In A Circle Around Her House SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS

www.thelatest.co.uk/music-chart

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LATEST PREVIEWS STAGE

L7 Previews

Marcus, audiences will witness the machine’s contents come to life.

Family friendly suitable for all ages

STAGE: BATHING BELLES The Nightingale, with Brighton Fringe and The Marlborough Theatre, present Dip Your Toe

F

or those of us who like our Fringe events served in deliciously tasty small portions The Nightingale, with Brighton Fringe and The Marlborough Theatre, are presenting Dip Your Toe. You can experience an interactive performance adventure in the streets of Brighton, with a series of unique pieces performed in and around six Victorian-style bathing machines across the city.

Throughout May six bespoke Victorian-style bathing machines will appear at some of the city’s iconic landmarks. Each will be the inspiration and the venue for a series of brand new performances by South East artists. See these fascinating replicas brought to life as beautifully customised, mobile mini-theatres, housing astonishing performances every weekend in May. BATHING MACHINES THE DEPARTMENT OF UNRELIABLE MEMOIRS Stillpoint Theatre Make an appointment with two helpful hostesses to retrieve a halfforgotten moment from a past you may have had. Revisit the time you saved your city from a freak flood, invented scientology, or ruined that child’s party! The D.U.M offers a playful encounter for a single audience member. All you have to do is turn up and play along PG – Children (16 and under) must be accompanied by an adult GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND fanSHEN Find the castle, solve the riddle, beat the dragon, use the force, change the world?

Green And Pleasant Land fuses

physical theatre, live music and folk traditions in an epic adventure for audiences aged ten upwards. Join them on a quest powered by bicycle-generators through lands of curious customs and peoples of peculiar habits, to find a happier, greener future.

Family friendly suitable for all ages PUPPET PARAMOUR Boogaloo Stu gets up close and personal as you step into a surreal world from a bygone era, in a one-toone session of sock-puppetry, crystal ball gazing and creating your ideal partner. What is their name?

What do they look like? How did you meet? Open up and reveal your hopes and dreams for happiness whilst your puppet is created.

PG – Children (16 and under) must be accompanied by an adult

KISSING THE GUNNER’S DAUGHTER Grist to the Mill Kissing the Gunner’s Daughter transforms the interior of the bathing machine into an otherworldly delight, where bathers, sailors, sea monsters and mermaids are exquisitely animated by artist Isobel Smith. Using manipulated light and puppetry along with a specially composed ‘poetic drama’ and soundscape from collaborators Dorothy Max Prior and Daniel

A SMALL MUSEUM OF DISPLACED SEA The Karavan Ensemble Between coast and sea, past and present, award-winning Karavan Ensemble carries the sea across Brighton in a reconstructed bathing machine immersed in dance, physical theatre, live music and gathered memories. Working with older people from the South East their migrating performance carries the sea within. A travelling museum of a displaced sea is a siteresponsive performance.

SWIMMING IN THE PERSIAN GULF BandBazi Take a swim on the exotic side; borrow a human book, learn about the freedom of swimming. BandBazi bring you the woman’s view from East, West and somewhere in between. Swim into the nonsensical, radical and conservative views on freedom and choice. A multi-media installation letting audiences peek behind the veil. Have your preconceptions blown out of the water.

For full details and dates go to www.dipyourtoe.co.uk HEART: AN ANGINA MONOLOGUE When Doug Devaney lay clutching his heart on a hill in Hollingdean nearly two years ago, little did he think this would be the basis of a one-man show. However, Easter Saturday and Sunday will see him take Heart: An Angina Monologue to the stage of the West Hill Community Hall, near Seven Dials, in preparation for a tour around East Sussex and Kent.

Heart, which has been developed in association with the Arts Council and will raise funds for the British Heart Foundation, sees Doug follow the path from fry-up loving kid to cholesterol clogged adult and beyond with a mixture of observations, routines, confessions and ukulele songs. “It’s only fair,” explains

Devaney. “I did drop the uke when I had the attack –and it stayed in tune – so in many ways we both survived the event.”

Heart: An Angina Monologue, West Hill Community Hall, Compton Avenue, Brighton, Saturday 7 and Sunday 8 April, 8pm, £7/£6

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES Uncle Vanya Minerva Theatre, Chichester 3 April and throughout the season Box office 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Anne Boleyn Theatre Royal Brighton Tue 3–Sat 7 April Box office 08448 717 650 www.atgtickets.com/brighton Yes, Prime Minister The Hawth, Crawley Tue 3–Sat 7 April Box office 01293 553636 www.tickets.hawth.co.uk Travels with Granddad Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Sat 7–Sun 8 April Box office 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org

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Live Flamenco every Thursday (FREE GLASS OF SANGRIA WITH THIS AD WHEN DINING) 10-11 King's Road, Brighton East Sussex BN1 1NE TEL. 01273 328672 info@aguadulce.co.uk aguadulcespanishrestaurant@gmail.com www.aguadulce.co.uk

• • • • •

NEW REFURBISHMENT FAMILY RUN BUSINESS SPECIALS MENU EVERY WEEKEND SUCKLING PIG HOMEMADE PAELLAS FRESH FISH

TAPAS TUESDAY 50% OFF TAPAS FROM SELECTED MENU

030_033_LS571_previews_editorial 30/03/2012 16:49 Page 3 Munich

LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 31 CLUBS: STAY BEAUTIFUL One of the best nights out in London comes to Brighton with its glam, punk, glitter, trash underground music collection. Join Simon Price, David Ryder Prangley and local hero Tux Inferior as they play pop trash, from Bowie to Peaches, Dresden Dolls, Goldfrapp, Placebo, Manics and Manson. Put simply: ‘music to show off’.

Sticky Mike’s Frog Bar, Sat 7 April, 10pm–3.30am, £5/6 CLUBS: IT IS STILL 1985 Dubbed Brighton’s favourite ’80s party, bringing you the best in global power pop like Prince, Tears for Fears, Tina Turner and Madonna. Plus epic and emotional fist clenching power ballads from Bonnie Tyler, Foreigner and Phil Collins. All with a hint of magic from The Cure, Run DMC, The Police and Talking Heads.

The Haunt, Sat 7 April, 10.30pm–late, £3 MUSIC: UFO One of the original hard rockers of the early ’70s, who hit their stride when legendary guitarist Michael Schenker joined in ’73. Like many rockers of yesteryear it seems they don’t do graceful, whether young or old, especially in the style department.

Three of the originals are still hanging in there. Rock on...

Concorde 2, Tues 3 April, 7.30pm, £20

MUSIC: BRIGHTON FRINGE Thomas J Speight

MUSIC: THOMAS J SPEIGHT He is a London singer songwriter who is steadily making inroads with his gentle folk-acoustica that invokes a little bit of old time Americana, but mixed with contemporary nu-folk sounds a la Fionn Regan. The Willow Tree EP is his only release so far.

Support form Emily & The Woods.

Latest Musicbar, Wed 4 April, 8pm, £5 MUSIC: SONS OF NOEL & ADRIAN Moving away from their acoustic roots this Brighton based band folk leanings are also subject to postrock, jazz and avant-pop influences.

Knots is the name of their new album and it’s out in May. The Haunt, Sat 7 April, £tbc

Sons Of Noel & Adrian

A plethora of music to choose from at this year’s Fringe

T

he largest arts festival in England is back for another three week celebration of music, literature, theatre, comedy, cabaret, clubbing, film, art, dance and much else besides. Music has always been a big element of the fringe, with anything and everything on offer and over 100 events to choose from.

Fancy some early music? Check out After Our Fashion (12 May, Friends Meeting House), a concert that features lute, mandolin, and viols. Music Of Our Time (MOOT) is a non-profit group for the public benefit promoting contemporary music, arts, education, and during May they are presenting a number of mainly classical concerts and workshops around Brighton (www.themusiciansbody.co.uk). St. Michael’s Church is also host to a number of classical concerts, some at lunchtimes, other in the evening.

World music? As always the Fringe is host to number of high class world music events including Africa Unite 2012 (18 May, Komedia), Balkan Beat Box (18 May, Concorde 2), Quinto (27 May, Old Bank), Terry Seabrooks’s Cubana Bop (23 May, The Brunswick), fado singer Claudia Aurora (26 May, Komedia), or the Brighton-based afro-beat flavours of Kalakuta Millionaires (11 May, The Brunswick).

Jazz and blues are also genres that gets a special airing in may, with all sorts of flavours and styles including Boogie Woogie Troop (25 May, Brunswick), jazz singer Edana Minghella (13 May, The Brunswick), and Milestones (14 may, The Brunswick), a silent movie classic screened and accompanied by a new jazz score performed by the superb musicians that make up Milestones.

Old favourites of the fringe return year-on-year, and so there’s another opportunity to see the amazing tap-dancing singer Movin’ Melvin Brown (13 May, Komedia), The Brighton Beach Boys performing Pet Sound vs Sgt Pepper (11 May, St. George’s Church) and the 20-piece Ska Kestra (19 May, Concorde 2). What the fringe is also good at is introducing some unique, sometimes odd, style and sounds to people. Where else could you see reggae artist Peter Straker play tribute to Jacques Brel (14–19 May, Komedia), or witness Rocksteady Tea Party, where you can reminisce to the sound of rocksteady with a tea dance, film and DJs? My choices? Check out the dark cabaret of Patti Plinko (5 May, The Warren), the interesting and entertaining old school/arcane instrumentation of Nick Pynn and Kate Daisy Grant (15 May, The Old Market), the crazy dapper dandies The Iron Boot Scrapers Speakeasy (16 May, The Old Market) and the utterly beguiling folk and bluegrass sounds of The Mountain Firework Company (16 May, Komedia) Brighton Fringe, Saturday 5–Sunday 27 May. www.brightonfringe.org follow me on twitter

latestjeff

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Nik Coppin

LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS Adam Hess and Stephen Carlin join resident compere Dave Mounfield for fun and giggles.

The Con Club, Lewes, Thurs 5 April, 8.30pm, £9/7

EVENTS: BRIGHTON & HOVE CHILDREN'S FESTIVAL Fun for all the family through the theme of bravery

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righton & Hove Children’s Festival returns with exciting family events during the Easter holidays, meaning there’s no excuse for children to be bored.

This year the festival is challenging families to take part in a series of performances and workshops all inspired by the theme of bravery and courage.

From Travels With Grandad at the Brighton Dome, where eccentric traveller Grandad tells tales of courageous deeds and valiant adventures, to a ‘Twilight Walk’ in Queens Park with artist Mim King, who questions how our senses adapt when the light starts to fade.

There’s plenty happening at Komedia such as You’ll Like This Film Because You’re In It, a filmmaking event inspired by cinematic virtuoso Michel Gondry. Families are given all the equipment to write, direct and star in their own short film about bravery.

‘Scary Monsters’ invites you to join a clay workshop and create brave sculptures of the things that scare you the most and what you need to overcome those fears.

‘Dancing In Darkness’ is an experimental dance class which takes place in gradually dimming light and culminates in a disco in the darkness. Whilst ‘Great Expectations’ at the Jubilee Library is a chance for expectant mothers, fathers and siblings to creatively express and share their thoughts about their uniquely brave adventure.

Over half the festivals events are free of charge including ‘Break the Spell’ on Friday 13 April, the unluckiest day of all, where families can challenge their bad luck superstitions by walking under ladders, putting up umbrellas and making single magpies.

The Brighton & Hove Children's Festival, Komedia, Brighton Dome, Jubilee Square and The Basement, Monday 9–Saturday 14 April. For a full list of events and individual ticket prices see www.thechildrensfestival.co.uk See also, our Days Out special feature, p21. follow me on twitter

Patrick Monahan

COMEDY: PATRICK MONAHAN – HUG ME I FEEL GOOD Lovable comedian Patrick Monahan blends a high energy style with hilarious and engaging stories of his Irish/Iranian/Teeside heritage. The winner of ITV1’s Show Me The Funny!

The Hawth, Wed 4 April, 7.45pm, £14/12

COMEDY: THE MAYDAYS – CONFESSIONS Award-winning, critically acclaimed improv comedians The Maydays and their awe-inspiring musician create this completely improvised show using only their wits and the audience’s confessions.

Komedia, Fri 7 April, 8pm, £10/8 COMEDY: COMEDY AT THE CON After selling out in both January and February best to get there early for this popular Lewes-based comedy night. This month sees Dave Johns, Easter walks

latestlaura

EVENTS: EASTER WALK Join a sponsored seven-mile Easter walk in the pretty villages of Alfriston and Wilmington with Family Support Work. See stunning Sussex countryside with sights including the Long Man of Wilmington and The Cathedral of South Downs. Tea and homemade cake will be on sale at Wilmington Village Hall. Suitable for all ages.

Alfriston Memorial Hall, Mon 9 April, 9.30am, free but register and download sponsorship forms at www.familysupportwalk.org.uk EVENTS: HAMMER AND TONGUE Brighton’s biggest and best performance poetry event for aspiring artists to try out their work and be judged by the audience in ‘slam’ competitions. Featuring Yvo Luna and ventriloquist with the open poetry slam. Hosted by Rosy Carrick and Mike Parker.

Komedia, Thu 5 April, 7.30pm–11.30pm, £5/4 Yvo Luna

EVENTS: KITTY COINTREAU’S BRAHAHA The critically acclaimed burlesque and comedy night returns with award-winning TV comedians, burlesque beauties, circus thrillers and cabaret stars. Featuring comedy from legend Norman Lovett, the one-man musical whirlwind Duncan Oakley and circus mastery from Chi Chi Revolver, and burlesquer Kitty Cointreau.

The Brunswick, Sat 7 April, 8.30–10.30pm, £10

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

tues 3 april

thomas j speight

+ emily & the woods 8pm £5

wed 4 april

private party

to book your party at the musicbar call 01273 687171

thurs 5 april

joni mitchell tribute night featuring nicky michell, lucy pickering, sam chara, shauna parker, aneesa

chaudhry and simon russell 8pm £5/£6

sun 8 april

fri 6 april

mon 9 april

sirens

miss utopia blossom’s sirens presents... carry on uniform miss utopia blossom 10pm £5

sat 7 april

private party

to book your party at the musicbar call 01273 687171

see website for details see website for details tues 10 april

charity chuckle

suzy bennett + sean mcloughlin, karel hutter, mark barrowcliffe and lucy frederick. mc julie jepson – all raising money for orphan charity alala 8pm £8/5

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LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM

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ART: JAKE WOOD-EVANS Wood-Evan’s surrealist and absurdist oil paintings explore the innocence of youth, and the beauty of doom for the exhibition called Into The Light. Two young children stare in fascination at the beauty of a mushroom cloud; two swans paddle on the brim of an about-to-overflow bath; a fawn follows its mother through a clearing, unaware of impending nuclear cataclysm.

Ink Gallery, 96 North Road, Brighton, 01273 645299, until 22 April, £tbc

Hizzie Fletcher

ART: HIZZIE FLETCHER A year long project by local artist Hizze Fletcher ‘365 Pieces of Eclectic Work’ will show artwork produced during 2011 and includes mixed media 2D work inspired from a variety of sources in everyday life.

The entire collection can be viewed online at www.2011adrawingaday.blogspot.com.

The Artist Residence Hotel, 33 Regency Square, Brighton, 01273 324302. Until 30 April

FILM: MIRROR MIRROR (PG) Dir: Tarsem Singh There’s this lady, right? Pretty but getting on. Not hugely old or anything but those crows feet are starting to show. And she’s got this stunning step-daughter – stop us if you’ve heard this before.

Actually, that’s the pre-amble. Julia Roberts’ evil queen is in full control of the kingdom and living large, but step-daughter and rightful heir Snow White (Lily Collins) and her short of stature pals are not going to take it lying down.

Released now Showing at Odeon and Cineworld For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

FILM: TITANIC 3D (12A) Director: James Cameron

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his may seem familiar – well, it was familiar ground when it first came out in 1997 – but sometimes it’s good to return to a modern classic of the big screen splashed all across the massive screens of today. Even more so when it’s been super hyped up and added booster bells and whistles in the form of being made 3D. Imagine that sketch coming off the screen, never mind that boat and that iceberg.

It’s also the 100th anniversary of the actual ship setting sail, reminding us that behind all the pomp and effects this was a real event that happened claiming thousands of lives.

Which is why there’s more on the TV about it too, in the form of new dramatisations and Len Goodman investigating the dockyards.

This story of the ill-fated ship all those moons ago, in case you didn’t already know, tells of young Jack and Rose (Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet), setting sail with new lives awaiting them when they reach America with a spirit of adventure, rebellion and a hint of danger. Rose is posh, Jack isn’t. Rose is betrothed to an evil bounder (Billy Zane), Jack isn’t. And they both seem to have an enjoyment of Celine Dion classics. Funny that.

Released Friday 6 April. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld. Also see page 18 for our full James Cameron interview

Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

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STARS | TV

STARS With Val Aviv

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

Important relationships come into the spotlight with the full moon in your opposite sign of Libra, giving you opportunity to resolve issues and a chance to re-address the balance where needed. Exciting social situations bring a strong sense of love and enjoyment to you.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

You are currently able to attract a lot of what you really want.

Your extravagant ruler may make you more susceptible to splashing out on the finer things in life such as clothes, fine dining or pampering spa breaks. Financial negotiations are blessed with good fortune.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21}

You are at your most amiable while Venus transits your sign.

Make the most of this influence by getting together with people whom it is important you impress. This congeniality radiates through your body having a positive effect on your looks too.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22}

The Full Moon insists that you take a conscious step backwards despite your high profile demands and turn your attention inwards, watch what’s happening and pay attention to what your feelings are telling you about you.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22}

Taking up a new course of study now will undoubtedly expand your horizons, pay attention to the details, as it will be easy to get carried away with flights of fancy. Your imagination could also take you to dark places – seek the light and truth.

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

If you have been keeping something bottled up then things will have to change. You’re able to remain detached when dealing with other people’s feelings which puts you in a good position to sort things out. Joint decisions are starred for success.

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

You will get great satisfaction from challenging conventions you previously believed, especially conventions surrounding beauty.

The scope for what you may find beautiful could indeed be broader than you think, opening up your world tenfold.

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Being thoroughly duty bound, it may be a while before you’re able to get back to the kind of work you’re excited about. Use this time to refine your techniques and bring order. It’s no fun but your efforts will make life flow easier in the long run.

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

The energy that is burning inside of you can only be a hindrance if left unmoved or without purpose to cause havoc. Go for gold this week as you’re able to tap into a huge resource; use this creatively and you could turn a corner in some profound way!

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

You may be in demand and find yourself at the centre of the action with no place to hide or turn. That which is familiar and personal will mean the most as your focus turns inward; you can shine brightest in the company of those closest to you.

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

The pace of everyday events is picking up and becoming not only less predictable, but as a consequence; fundamentally more exciting! Things exist in your consciousness now that you were previously unaware of – this is a time of immeasurable growth.

HPISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

Avoid getting too worked up or stressed out by partnerships which don’t appear to be going in the direction you would like.

There is a distinct matter of the unreal at play, and this lack of clarity can be debilitating to your energy reserve if you don’t take regular rests.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 83 – 9 APRIL it’s still hilarious. Especially when at points it is clearly the fault of the dialect coach. At least two of these cast members are actually British!

Dodgy accents aside, this has all the winning ingredients, with a variety of supernaturals on the With Victoria Nangle horizon for our plucky and slow-ageing Dr Helen Magnus to find and take into her ‘sanctuary’. Make the world a little safer for the rest of us ignoramuses, and have a jolly good time at seriously delivering some roundhouse kicks at the opposition.

This first episode – of series 4 – kicks off with a threat to the timeline as Helen follows a desperate t’s quite good fun coming in at the middle of father back through time as he frantically tries to things. It’s the start of series 4 of Sanctuary save his daughter’s life, in Victorian times. It’s and that means a fabulous previous series where they both started out, so they’ve got crescendo putting all of mankind and life as we contacts luckily. And a snappy line in cultural know it at risk. I like this already, even though I’ve references. You’ve got to love it when the sharply never seen an episode of the brained Dr Watson works show before in my life. The out what has happened and thing about arriving in the declares; “HG would be “‘Know moi naime do middle of a rather good thrilled!”. Also, the parallel series is that there’s none of yer?’ Again, we’re back sub-story of his search for the opening two episodes of Jack the Ripper. It’s not ‘establishing the characters’. to the accents. Love it” giving much away to say Once a series has got good some of the tension may and going you can recognise dissipate when Helen calls those characters from the opening credits and the out to the killer only to be greeted with; “Know moi way they relate to each other. It’s easy enough to naime do yer?” Again, we’re back to the accents. tell who’s boss.

Love it.

Sanctuary is a supernatural series, so right up my As the majority of the series promises to be in a scary dark alleyway, taking its cues from The League more contemporary setting, I’m guessing the Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (the Sean Connery and accent delights of this kind will be short-lived, so it Stuart Townsend box office flop based on the graphic really shouldn’t be an ongoing mockery. I novel, not the more successful ‘village’ of television) thoroughly enjoyed myself with this rollicking ride with Victorian echoes and a collection of remarkably through a mixture of history and literature, with a different people endeavouring to work together for a tasty helping of ‘girl power’ leading the way. common good. Sort of like that big blockbuster on the There’s a lot to be said for coming in once a show’s horizon, The Avengers, but a bit more low key and fully warmed up. The writers know the characters with English accents. and the actors are comfortable in them. It’s Ever since James Marsters fooled everyone getting to that ‘good’ series without the false with his spiffy Camden Town accent as Spike in steps and this is just plain lots of fun.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Americans have been Sanctuary, Watch, Friday 6 April thinking that the Dick Van Dyke Mary Poppins follow me on twitter latestvicky fiasco of US cockney never happened. It did and

Telly Talk

Rosey guv’nr!

I

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tuesday 3 Horizon: The Hunt For AI BBC2, 9pm Ever since Fritz Lang made a metal robot lady back in 1927 (and probably before) we’ve been fascinated and terrified of the idea of machines with minds of thier own. But how real is the prospect? Marcus Du Sautoy investigates the current cutting edge of Artificial Intelligence (AI), asking lots of questions for us.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Five, 9pm Still can’t get past Ted Danson in a favourite Letters (new genre – crime shows whose names are made up of initials) programme.

We keep expecting him to shout ‘Norm!’. Anyway, an ex-mayor is shot at the official opening of a museum dedicated to the mafia and the gang are on the case.

Mark Lawson Talks To Mark Gatiss BBC4, 10.50pm Mark Lawson has a chat with the man who has become something of a BBC phenomenon, writing episodes of Doctor Who, creating and writing Sherlock, presenting a TV series on horror and generally popping up on anything truly quite wonderful. From childhood to regrets and more.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 My Worst Deal 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Horrible Histories 3.35 Lockie Leonard 4.00 All Over The Place 4.30 Who Let The Dogs Out? 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show.

7.30 EastEnders A poker game between the males of Albert Square separates the men from the boys.

8.00 Holby City Sahira cannot believe it when Hanssen takes her off CTU but she is determined not to let him control her. When Rafi confronts her about Greg, she is overwhelmed with the pressures placed on both her professional and personal lives.

9.00 The Syndicate Drama series.

Denise is left devastated when husband Dave announces he is leaving her. She embarks on a personal mission to win him back, but Leanne thinks she is going too far.

And someone from Leanne’s past tries to make contact after the lottery win is announced.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Who Do You Think You Are? Lionel Richie Singer-songwriter Lionel Richie tries to find out more about his great-grandfather.

11.20 Lionel Richie At The BBC A selection of Lionel Richie’s greatest moments from the BBC archives.

12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: The Apprentice 1.25 One Night 2.25 We Won’t Drop The Baby 3.15 Britain’s First Photo Album 3.45 News

BBC2

6.00 – 8.45am Children’s television 8.45 Numtums 8.50 Little Charley Bear 9.00 Buzz And Tell 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.35 Small Potatoes 9.40 Andy’s Wild Adventures 9.55 Tree Fu Tom 10.20 ZingZillas Zingbop 10.25 Dipdap 10.30 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 FILM: Tiger Bay (1959) 1.15pm Animal Park 2.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Breakaway 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Just A Minute Celebrating 45 years of this classic radio comedy panel game. Hosted by Nicholas Parsons.

6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

7.00 Coast For the first time, Coast explores the spectacular shoreline of Norway. Lovely crinkly bits around the fiords.

8.00 Hairy Bikers’ Bakeation The halfway point of the Hairy Bikers’ Bakeation sees them journey to the furthest reaches of Europe culminating in an amazing family party thrown by Dave’s wife Lil, who comes from Romania.

9.00 Horizon: The Hunt For AI See highlights.

10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic pop quiz. Team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest presenter David O’Doherty, and panellists Mel B, Olly Murs, Peter Jones and Joe Wilkinson.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman.

11.20 Wikileaks: The Secret Life Of A Superpower The second of two programmes about American diplomacy and the leaked US embassy cables.

12.20am How God Made The English 1.20 BBC News

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron makes a statement to the police. Amy tries to manipulate Brenda.

7.30 Countrywise Kitchen Paul Heiney and chef Mike Robinson are in Lancashire to discover some of the county’s culinary specialities.

8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity Chris Tarrant invites four more celebrities to take their place in the hot seat. First up are sports presenter Gabby Logan, playing for Sparks, and opera singer Katherine Jenkins, answering questions for The British Forces Foundation. Then former tennis stars Pat Cash and Annabel Croft step up, hoping to bag the cash for charities Orchid and Centrepoint respectively.

9.00 Smugglers New. Documentary about the trade in counterfeit goods, now worth an estimated £1 billion a year in Britain.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Benidorm Madge is preparing for her wedding to Mohammed, the wealthy son of Mel’s old business partner. Repeat of last Friday’s show.

11.35 Ladette To Lady The five remaining contenders discover that they will be hosting a three-course dinner for 16 guests.

12.30am The Zone: Jackpot247 3.00 Crossing Jordan 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 The Hoobs 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 According To Jim 8.05 According To Jim 8.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.05 Frasier 9.35 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 12.35 River Cottage Bites 12.50 FILM: Father Goose (1964) 3.05 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present Stephen Miller 2012 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Doug and Ste’s meeting at the bank leaves them feeling deflated.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Takeaway addict Chris Longley swaps diets with meal-dodging hairdresser Nathan Smith.

9.00 The Undateables Uplifting three-part series following a variety of people with disabilities as they look for love.

10.00 Facejacker Kayvan Novak adopts a variety of disguises to spoof members of the US public.

10.35 Hit The Road Jack In Glasgow, Jack Whitehall is joined by actor John Hannah, comic Greg McHugh and The Vaccines.

11.10 Random Acts 11.15 Desperate Housewives Susan is in for a shock when her daughter Julie pays a visit and shows up six months pregnant.

12.10am PokerStars.co.uk European Poker Tour 1.10 KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.40 Mobil 1 The Grid 2.10 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 2.35 Coral Late Night Poker The Grand Final. 3.35 FIM World Superbikes 2012 4.00 Brief Encounters Of The Sporting Mind 4.05 Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra 5.00 Grudge Match 5.10 Full Metal Challenge

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Milkshake! Monkey 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 London: The Inside Story 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.10 FILM: Mary Higgins Clark’s Let Me Call You Sweetheart (1997) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away April breaks down after finding Henri at her romantic getaway with Heath.

Heath denies anything happened, but Bianca gets the truth from Henri and April finishes with Heath.

6.30 5 News 7.00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers Observational documentary series.

8.00 Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig Jovial presenter Rory McGrath and biker/archaeologist Paul Blinkhorn root around beneath some of the country’s oldest boozers to reveal hundreds of years of British history.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation See highlights.

10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series.

The CSIs investigate when the manager of a department store is found brutally murdered in his own shop window. quite a display. Sorry.

10.55 CSI: Miami Crime drama series. The discovery of a census taker’s body in the boot of a car leads the CSIs to a string of meth labs.

11.55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Forensic drama. The CSIs investigate the disappearance of an entire family. The bloody crime scene leads them to believe they are all dead, but Nick hears voices that convince him otherwise.

12.50am SuperCasino 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm Netbusters 2.00 Ford Monday Night Football 4.00 SPL Round-Up 4.30 Test Cricket 6.30 Sporting Greats 7.00 Golf US Masters Official Film 1985 7.30 Golf US Masters Official Film 1987 8.30 Golf Masters 2012 Preview 10.00 School Of Hard Knocks 10.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 11.00 Golf: Masters 2012 Preview 12.30am UEFA Champions League Highlights 1.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 2.00 School Of Hard Knocks 2.30 Golf: Masters 2012 Preview 4.00 School Of Hard Knocks 4.30 UEFA Champions League Highlights 5.25 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Monday Night Football 11.00 SPL Round-Up 11.30 Netbusters 12.00pm Soccer AM The Best Bits 1.00 SPL Round-Up 1.30 Golf Masters Special – Golf’s First Major 2.00 Speedway Elite League 4.00 Soccer AM The Best Bits 5.00 Snowboarding 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 LIVE UEFA Champions League 10.15 Revista De La Liga 11.15 Poker 1.15am Revista De La Liga 2.15 World Pool Masters 3.15 Poker

Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE Hall Of Fame 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM The Best Bits 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Golf Masters Special - Golf’s First Major 12.30 Golfing World 1.30 Snowboarding 2.00 Nascar 3.00 WWE Hall Of Fame 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 British Basketball League 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 British Basketball League 1.00am World Snowboarding Championships 1.30 Test Cricket

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

2.00pm Chris And Wes: Let’s Do This (x2) 3.00 Modern Family (x2) 4.00 The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Airline 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Touch 9.00 FILM: Shallow Hal (2001) 11.10 35mm 2012 11.40 Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2) 12.40am FILM: Croc (2007) 2.25 Road Wars

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Prison, My Family And Me 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Pramface 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Prison, My Family And Me 1.30 I Never Said Yes 2.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 3.25 Pramface 3.55 Our Crime

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Madness On Wheels: Rallying’s Craziest Years 9.00 Talk At The BBC 10.00 The Then And Now Of Muhammad Ali 10.50 Mark Lawson Talks To Mark Gatiss. See highlights 11.50 Pugin: God’s Own Architect 12.50am How To Build A Cathedral

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x2) 6.30 The Cube 7.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 8.30 Best Of Harry Hill’s TV Burp 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 FILM: The Matrix (1999) 12.45am Penn & Teller: Fool Us

11.20am Cadfael 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Murder, She Wrote 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 On The Buses 4.40 On The Buses 5.10 Terry And June 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Wycliffe 9.00 Taggart 10.00 Trial And Retribution 11.35 Numb3rs 12.30am The Blackheath Poisonings

5.00pm Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 Rules Of Engagement 9.00 90210 10.00 The Cleveland Show 10.30 Napoleon Dynamite 10.55 The Ricky Gervais Show 11.30 The Ricky Gervais Show 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

2.30pm Come Dine With Me 3.00 Four In A Bed 3.35 The Renovation Game 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.55 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Restoration Man 10.05 One Born Every Minute USA 11.05 The Good Wife 12.00am The Big C

11.00am The Cross Of Lorraine (1943) 12.50pm Seance On A Wet Afternoon (1964) 3.10 Carry On Constable (1960) 4.55 Tobruk (1966) 7.05 St Trinian’s (2007) 9.00 Mission: Impossible III (2006) 11.20 Little Children (2006) 2.00am Water Lilies (2007)

Every night is a Saturday night in Brighton ALL your listings at m.thelatest.co.uk/listings

thelatest.co.uk/listings

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wednesday 4 Our Food BBC2, 8pm Encouraging us all to eat what is seasonal and fresh and grown within our own country rather than flown more miles than your beach towel will be this summer, Giles Coren travels around Britain to discover how the landscape, history and climate has shaped our food production. Norfolk crab, turkey and turnips feature.

The Apprentice BBC1, 9pm After last week’s dressing down and the week before’s poor show it’s a surprise Lord Sugar has any faith in these ‘brightest and sharpest of Britain’ at all. Or maybe it’s the combo. Mixing up the teams a bit should shake them into shape as they compete to come up with a new condiment. Hopefully.

Mugged BBC3, 9pm As a part of the BBC’s attention to crime, this documentary talks to both victims and perpetrators of muggings. Really quite violent, anti-social and leaving the victims unsure and in some cases permanently damaged, this is a lesson in consequences. The former mugger is now a youth worker, which offers hope.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 My Worst Deal 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Horrible Histories 3.35 Lockie Leonard 4.00 All Over The Place 4.30 Deadly Top 10 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be discussed here.

7.30 Cash Britain Observational documentary series examining how customers of a family-run pawnbrokers are coping in the current economic climate.

8.00 Waterloo Road It is the start of exam season and Josh is struggling to cope with the workload, and without his medication, his mental health is beginning to spiral out of control. Meanwhile, it is the day of Janeece’s wedding and nothing seems to be going right.

9.00 The Apprentice See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10.45 Sexism In Football?

Gabby Logan explores sexism in football, hearing stories from influential women working across the men’s game.

Just how bad is it? From Karren Brady in the boardroom to the most powerful woman in football, UEFA’s Karen Espelund, one thing is common – they have all experienced discrimination.

11.35 The Syndicate Repeat of yesterday’s episode.

12.35am Weatherview 12.40 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.10 Watchdog 2.10 One Night 3.10 BBC News

BBC2

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Buzz And Tell 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.35 Small Potatoes 9.40 Andy’s Wild Adventures 9.55 Tree Fu Tom 10.20 ZingZillas Zingbop 10.25 Dipdap 10.30 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 FILM: Skyrunners (2009) 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Breakaway 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Just A Minute Celebrating 45 years of this classic radio comedy panel game.

6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

7.00 The Fisherman’s Apprentice With Monty Halls Monty Halls’ time as a traditional inshore fisherman in Cornwall is coming to an end. Before he leaves, Monty wants to see if an idea from the USA might help the fishermen by selling fresh, seasonal produce direct to local consumers.

8.00 Our Food See highlights.

9.00 Woolly Mammoth: Secrets From The Ice Professor Alice Roberts reveals the natural history of one the most famous of Ice Age animals - the woolly mammoth.

10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Creating a new condiment has been a recipe for disaster for one of 2012’s Apprentice business brains. Grilling them on what went wrong are Levi Roots, the creator of Reggae Reggae sauce, comedienne Jenny Eclair and Lord Sugar’s fearsome inquisitor, Claude Littner.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 Golf: The Masters 2011 Review Ahead of golf’s first major of 2012, Hazel Irvine introduces the story of last season’s Masters at Augusta, Georgia.

12.20am Medium (x2) 1.45 News

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 2.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Chas frets over what Aaron has got himself into.

Amy’s plan backfires.

7.30 UEFA Champions League: Chelsea V Benfica Adrian Chiles introduces live coverage of Chelsea’s quarter-final, second leg against Benfica at Stamford Bridge. Can Chelsea carry the flag for England into the last four of the competition?

Last month the London club mounted one of the great Champions League comebacks against Napoli, and caretaker boss Roberto di Matteo will be hoping for another memorable night in West London.

Commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Matt Smith is joined by Gareth Southgate and Andy Townsend for a review of this week’s Champions League quarter-final second legs, including Chelsea’s tie with Benfica at Stamford Bridge.

11.35 Road Warriors An uncompromising look at the lives of the men and women who have to deliver supplies to the armed forces in Afghanistan.

12.30am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.35 British Touring Car Championship 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 According To Jim 8.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.05 Frasier 9.35 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 12.40 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 12.45 FILM: Never So Few (1959) 3.05 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... London 2012: Danielle Brown Part II 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Doug runs out of options trying to raise funds for the deli and considers Brendan’s offer.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Four Rooms Cherished items include tiles from Abbey Road featured on the Beatles’ album cover, a 19th-century wallet made from human skin, original artwork from the film Reservoir Dogs and Richard Burton’s fur coat. Which will win?

9.00 One Born Every Minute Fly-on-the-wall documentary series filmed in a busy maternity ward.

Long-serving midwife Linda Abbott reminisces about the old days as she approaches retirement.

10.00 10 O’Clock Live The live comedy and current affairs show hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne.

10.55 Facejacker Last night’s show.

11.30 Hit The Road Jack Extended version of last nights show.

12.15am Random Acts 12.20 MUSIC ON 4: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 12.35 Lost Prophets: London Live 1.10 Black Cab Sessions 1.35 Spotlight: Ones To Watch 1.50 4Play: Justice 2.05 4Play: Graham Coxon 2.15 Ibiza Rocks With XBox Kinect 2.45 Live From Abbey Road 3.30 Life Of Rhyme 4.25 Lula 4.30 Love Tube 4.35 Fast Spin 4.45 Privileged 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Milkshake!

Monkey 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 London: The Inside Story 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.15 FILM: Nora Roberts Collection Montana Sky (2007) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Casey gives Tyler some help getting back on his feet and agrees to go camping with him overnight. Colleen realises Tyler might have stolen their missing knife.

6.30 5 News 7.00 Ultimate Police Interceptors Highlights of the documentary series following elite police pursuit units in Sheffield and Essex.

8.00 Cowboy Traders Documentary series about cowboy shop-owners and dodgy dealers. Dominic Littlewood and Melinda Messenger meet the couples who were taken for a ride by a bridal-shop owner with a long and chequered history.

9.00 NCIS US crime drama series.

After an ambush changes the course of their investigation, the NCIS team has to find answers quickly.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. Goren and Eames are sent to investigate a gambling ring after a poker player accidentally kills someone while collecting money for a bookie. Exactly quite how ‘accidental’ was this?

11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. The team investigates when a teenager suffers a miscarriage after being physically assaulted.

11.55 Pokerstars: The Big Game 12.55am SuperCasino 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters (x2(

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm Golf Masters 2012 Preview 3.00 Test Cricket 5.00 European Tour Weekly 5.30 Golf US Masters Official Film 1999 6.30 Golf US Masters Official Film 2011 7.30 LIVE Golf Masters 2012 Par-3 10.00 Inside The PGA Tour 10.30 European Tour Weekly 11.00 Sporting Greats 11.30 Golf Masters 2012 Par-3 2.00am UEFA Champions League Highlights 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 European Tour Weekly

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Golf Masters 2012 Preview 10.30 Sporting Greats 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00pm UEFA Champions League Highlights 1.00 World Snowboarding Championships 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 UEFA Champions League Highlights 3.30 Golf Masters 2012 Preview 5.00 Hyundai A League 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 LIVE UEFA Champions League 10.15 You’re On Sky Sports 11.15 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.45 Hyundai A League 12.15am UEFA Champions League Highlights 1.15 Trans World Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights 9.00 British Basketball League 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 World Pool Masters 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 World Snowboarding Championships 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 World Pool Masters 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Squash PSA Tour 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Cage Fighter 10.30 Kings Of The Snow 11.00 World Snowboarding Championships 11.30 Cage Fighter 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 World Cup Of Pool 1.30 Watersports World 2.30 Squash: PSA Tour Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

1.00pm Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut (x2) 2.00 Chris And Wes: Let’s Do This (x2) 3.00 Modern Family (x2) 4.00 The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Airline 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Emergency Abroad 9.00 Touch 10.00 Fringe 11.00 An Idiot Abroad 12.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Mugged. See highlights. 10.00 Free Speech 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Mugged 1.30 World Series Of Dating 2.00 Our Crime 3.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 4.00 Prison, My Family And Me

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Tales From The National Parks 8.30 Venice 24/7 9.00 Kids In The Middle 10.00 Episodes 10.30 Lowdown 11.00 The Cricklewood Greats 11.45 Venice 24/7 12.15am Inspector Montalbano 1.50 Episodes 2.20 Lowdown 2.50 Kids In The Middle

12.00pm Emmerdale 12.30 Nanny 911 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Take Me Out 8.15 Take Me Out - The Gossip 9.00 FILM: Knocked Up (2007) 11.40 FILM: Eyes Wide Shut (1999) 2.35am Emmerdale

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Murder, She Wrote 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 On The Buses (x2) 5.10 Terry And June 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.10 Cracker (x2) 1.10am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

2.15pm Hollyoaks 2.50 90210 3.45 Glee 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: Footloose (1984) 10.10 FILM: Alien Resurrection (1997) 12.20am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.15 Scrubs (x2)

3.00pm Four In A Bed 3.35 The Renovation Game 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 The Secret Millionaire 11.05 Undercover Boss USA 12.05am Relocation, Relocation

11.00am Heaven Knows, Mr Allison (1957) 1.10pm A Challenge For Robin Hood (1967) 3.05 Doctor In Clover (1965) 5.05 Ladies In Lavender (2004) 7.10 New In Town (2009) 9.00 He’s Just Not That Into You (2008) 11.30 Quills (2000) 1.55am Mean Creek (2004)

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www.thelatest.tv Brighton & Hove wins its bid for local TV! Soon, our city will have its very own terrestrial station

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037_LS571_TV_thurs_L7wed14apr.qxd 28/03/2012 14:10 Page 1

thursday 5 White Heat BBC2, 9pm In 2012 five of the former flatmates have arrived and await the sixth. Haven’t they changed?

Whereas back in 1982 the group are summoned by Jay and Orla to help detox Jack who has been overindulging in a spot of heroin.

Not nice. And neither is the hold he still has over Charlotte. Who wants a healthy relationship, eh?

Death Row Channel 4, 10pm The third and final portrait from acclaimed documentary maker Werner Herzog of a man living life on death row in America. This instalment is on Joseph Garcia and George Rivas, who were both a part of the famous prison break of the Texas Seven – in fact it was masterminded by Rivas.

Ponderous final thoughts.

Agatha Christie’s Poirot ITV3, 8pm No one should ever get anywhere near a gun if there’s a world renowned detective in the vicinity. Fact. Especially if they’re fictional. Poirot reluctantly joins his good friend Hastings on a grouse shoot and – quelle surprise – one of the party is murdered. Has no one been paying attention? Reckless!

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 My Worst Deal 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Horrible Histories 3.35 Lockie Leonard 4.00 All Over The Place 4.30 Leonardo 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show.

7.30 EastEnders Alfie decides to fight back after becoming embroiled in another of Derek’s dodgy deals – but has he the courage to see his plan through?

8.00 Watchdog Consumer series.

Anne Robinson and the team use undercover filming to reveal how gym memberships are sold.

9.00 Land Of The Lost Wolves Nature series documenting the return of one very special wolf pack to the snowy peaks of Washington’s Cascade Mountains – the first to return to the American Northwest in 70 years.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Adele Live At The Royal Albert Hall Highlights from Adele’s live performance at the Royal Albert Hall on 21 September 2011.

11.35 FILM: Small Time Crooks (1999) Starring Woody Allen, Tracey Ullman, Hugh Grant. Comedy about the leader of an inept gang who plans to break into a bank.

1.05am Skiing Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: The Great Apprentice Scandal – Panorama 1.40 Countryfile 2.40 Orbit: Earth’s Extraordinary Journey 3.40 BBC News

BBC2

6.00 – 8.45am Children’s television 8.45 Numtums 8.50 Little Charley Bear 9.00 Buzz And Tell 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.35 Small Potatoes 9.40 Andy’s Wild Adventures 9.55 Tree Fu Tom 10.20 ZingZillas Zingbop 10.25 Dipdap 10.35 64 Zoo Lane 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 FILM: Sinbad The Sailor (1947) 1.30pm Animal Park 2.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Breakaway 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Just A Minute Celebrating 45 years of this classic radio comedy panel game.

6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

7.00 Hairy Bikers’ Bakeation The halfway point of the Hairy Bikers’ Bakeation sees them journey to the furthest reaches of Europe.

8.00 Natural World: The Real Jungle Book Bear The Jungle Book’s Baloo the bear character is based on the secretive sloth bear who lives in India’s wildest places.

The real Baloo does chase fancy ants, but his life is a lot tougher than that of his fictional friend. Narrated by David Attenborough. We love him.

9.00 White Heat See highlights.

10.00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme Sarah Millican looks at sports and entertainment programmes and meets commentator Clare Balding, Olympic gymnast Beth Tweddle and show business force of nature, Louie Spence.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 Modern Spies From James Bond to Jason Bourne, the fictional world of spying is a world of danger and deception, glamour and lies. But how does the myth compare with the reality?

12.20am Medium (x2) 1.45 News

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Chas is nervous as Aaron’s day in court arrives. Brenda is ashamed of her one-night stand with Pollard. Who wouldn’t be?

7.30 Because We Are Worth It: Tonight With the average FTSE boss earning over £14,000 a day, Lord Sugar and Sir Stelios Haji-Ioannou help ITV Business Editor Laura Kuenssberg investigate why top pay continues to rise, while many of us struggle.

8.00 Emmerdale Aaron says an emotional goodbye.

8.30 Coronation Street Kirsty lashes out when Tyrone fails to keep his promise.

9.00 Fraud Squad Documentary following detectives from the City and Metropolitan Police as they tackle organised crime gangs making millions from cash machine crime.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness is on the pull once more for his legion of dateless divas.

11.50 The Unforgettable Mollie Sugden Family, friends and colleagues pay a touching tribute to one of Britain’s finest comedy actresses, Mollie Sudgen.

12.20am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.20 Because We Are Worth It: Tonight 2.45 ITV Nightscreen 4.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.10am The Treacle People 6.20 The Hoobs 6.45 The Hoobs 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 According To Jim 8.05 According To Jim 8.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.05 Frasier 9.35 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 The Secret Millionaire USA 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 12.35 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 12.45 FILM: Air Force (1943) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Doug begins to regret his deal with the Devil when he is attacked.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Get Your House In Order Series featuring out-of-control consumers whose quality of life is being buried under their many possessions. IT professional Stuart is obsessed with having the newest gadgets, boy’s toys and designer clothes. No shelves though, eh?

9.00 One Born: What Happened Next? Fly-on-the-wall documentary series filmed in a busy maternity ward. More than 100 babies have been born on the award-winning One Born Every Minute. Now the series revisits three couples as their babies approach their first birthday to see how they’re responding to an even bigger challenge: parenthood.

10.00 Death Row See highlights.

10.55 Random Acts 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies The unshockable doctors help more people. And make us feel squeamish and at the same time a bit more human for our bumps.

12.10am The Undateables 1.10 Love Rat 1.35 The Perfect Murder 2.05 The Real Dr Crippen 3.00 Portrait Of A Young Man Drowning 3.15 Drifting 3.30 The Bible: A History 4.25 Time Team 5.20 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Murder Without Conviction (2004) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away After Sasha is accused of being a murderess at school, Gina suggests that she stay home rather than attend Stu’s memorial.

6.30 5 News 7.00 Holiday Heaven On Earth Travel series presented by Emma Wilson and Darren Kennedy. Emma visits Madeira, Darren spends time in the Shetland Isles and guest presenter Natalie Pinkham travels to Seville.

7.25 Ultimate Police Interceptors Highlights of the documentary series following elite police pursuit units in Sheffield and Essex.

7.55 Europa League Football: Athletic Bilbao V Schalke Live Europa League football action from the latest round of the competition.

10.00 FILM: The Glimmer Man (1996) Starring Steven Seagal, Keenan Ivory Wayans, Bob Gunton.

Action thriller about a government agent who is asked to resume his old role as a police officer to help catch a serial killer preying on the citizens of LA. Teamed with a local homicide detective, the agent discovers that the killer seems to know a lot about his past despite a change of occupation and identity.

12.00am Inside Hollywood 12.05 SuperCasino 4.00 House Doctor 4.25 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm Sporting Greats 2.00 Golf: Masters Special - Golf’s First Major 2.30 Golf: US Masters Official Film 1980 3.00 Golf: US Masters Official Film 1985 3.30 Sporting Greats 4.00 Golf: US Masters Official Film 1987 5.00 Golf: US Masters Official Film 1999 6.00 Sky Sports News 7.00 LIVE Golf: Masters 2012 12.30am Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Darts: Premier League 4.25 Barclays Premier League World 4.55 America’s Cup Uncovered 5.25 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 UEFA Champions League Highlights 10.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.30 Golf: Masters 2012 Par-3 1.00pm UEFA Champions League Highlights 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 UEFA Champions League Highlights 4.30 Test Cricket 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 LIVE Premier League Darts 10.30 Ringside 11.30 Football League Weekend 12.30am Time Of Our Lives 1.30 Ringside 2.30 European Rugby Club Special 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Squash: PSA Tour 9.00 Watersports World 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 FIBA World Basketball 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 WWE Vintage Collection 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 NRL Fulltime 6.00 Ringside 7.00 Super League Super Men 8.00 LIVE Super League 10.00 Test Cricket 11.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 12.00am ATP Tour Uncovered 12.30 Super League 2.30 Super League Super Men 3.30 Time Of Our Lives 4.30 Close Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

3.00pm Modern Family (x2) 4.00 The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Airline (x2) 7.00 The Middle 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 A League Of Their Own: Unseen 10.00 House 11.00 NCIS: LA 12.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter 1.00 FILM: Infected (2008)

7.00pm The Apprentice 8.00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Angry Boys 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 American Dad! (x2) 12.35am World Series Of Dating 1.05 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 2.00 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 4.00 Mugged 5.30 Close

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 The Last Days Of Steam: Time Shift 9.00 Sex And Sensibility: The Allure Of Art Nouveau 10.00 Metal: How It Works 11.00 Talk At The BBC 12.00am The Sky At Night 12.30 Mars: A Horizon Guide 1.30 The Last Days Of Steam: Time Shift

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 8.00 American Idol: Performance 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 11.15 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) 1.35am Coronation Street

2.05pm Murder, She Wrote 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 On The Buses (x2) 5.15 Terry And June 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot. See highlights. 9.00 Wycliffe 10.10 Brides In The Bath 12.10am FILM: The Witches Of Eastwick (1987) 2.20 ITV3 Nightscreen

3.45pm Glee 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x4) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 The IT Crowd 11.05 Phoneshop 11.35 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.30am Scrubs (x2)

2.30pm Come Dine With Me 3.00 Four In A Bed 3.35 The Renovation Game 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 The Big C 10.35 Saving Grace 11.30 Shameless 12.35am The Good Wife 1.30 The Big C

11.00am In Custody (1993) 1.25pm Gaslight (1940) 3.05 Lassie (2005) 4.55 Akeelah And The Bee (2006) 7.05 The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) 9.00 Jumper (2008) 10.45 Chatroom (2010) 12.40am Holy Smoke (1999) 3.00 Close

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Brighton Lights 38

www.thelatest.tv

Find out the latest on E.ON’s plans for an off-shore wind farm on the brand new episode of Brighton Lights

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friday 6 Twenty Twelve BBC2, 10pm It’s the second half of last week’s cliffhanger in this sharp comedy regarding the organisation behind the Olympic Games. The Algerians have issued a deadline of midnight for a solution to their demand for a Shared Belief Centre that faces Mecca. And the French threaten to pull out of the Games if there’s a mosque. Nice.

Castle Five, 10pm Funny how ‘punk’ bands in TV series never look quite as aggressive as the ones from Vivienne Westwood’s heyday. A bit of rainbow in your hair does not equal ‘punk’. Anyway, there’s a dead singer from a punk band, whose body has been arranged in the same style as her music video. Castle’s on the case.

Carry On Evening ITV3, 7.05pm onwards “Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!” And other such classic gems are likely to crop up in this Good Friday evening of Carry On... shenanigans. Kicking off with Carry On Camping, with Babs Windsor and Sid James, then Carry On Follow That Camel, and finally – pulling up the rear, fnar – That’s Carry On. Corker.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Animal 24:7 9.45 Homes Under The Hammer 10.45 My Worst Deal 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.00pm The Preston Passion 1.00 BBC News At One 1.10 South East Today 1.15 FILM: National Treasure: Book Of Secrets (2007) 3.10 FILM: Cars (2006) 5.00 Match Of The Day Live: Barnsley V West Ham United

7.25 BBC News At Six 7.45 South East Today 8.00 EastEnders Dot’s conviction about Andrew’s guilt starts to waver in the face of his declaration of undying love for Heather.

8.30 Titanic With Len Goodman In this edition, Len discovers how eight men who helped build the Titanic went down with her on that fateful night.

And he meets the man whose great uncle survived the tragedy.

9.00 Land Of The Lost Wolves After spending four weeks camping out in the bitterly cold Cascade Mountains, wildlife cameraman Gordon Buchanan and a team of wolf experts discover that most of the pack have been killed by locals who live by the motto “shoot, shovel and shut up”. Hear the banjoes duelling?

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.10 South East Today 10.20 New Tricks Drama. When the team reinvestigate a 30-year-old safety deposit robbery, they find themselves unwittingly drawn into a case involving police corruption.

11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.30 EastEnders A poker game between the males of Albert Square separates the men from the boys.

1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: Natural World: Zambezi 2.30 Antiques Road Trip 3.15 Britain’s First Photo Album 3.45 BBC News

BBC2

6.00 – 8.45am Children’s television 8.45 Numtums 8.50 Little Charley Bear 9.00 Buzz And Tell 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.35 Small Potatoes 9.40 Andy’s Wild Adventures 9.55 Tree Fu Tom 10.20 ZingZillas Zingbop 10.25 Dipdap 10.30 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 FILM: The Gumball Rally (1976) 1.15pm Animal Park 2.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Breakaway 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Just A Minute Celebrating 45 years of this classic radio comedy panel game.

6.30 Eggheads Quiz show.

7.00 Golf: The Masters – Highlights Highlights of the opening day’s play from the 76th Masters tournament at Augusta, Georgia.

8.00 Mastermind Subjects include the life and times of Thomas Wolsey, the apostle Peter in the New Testament, heraldry of Britain, the history of the Monaco grand prix and Catherine the Great.

8.30 Gardeners’ World It’s Easter and the biggest gardening weekend of the year; the team give plenty of advice and inspiration - from large projects to tackling weeds.

9.00 Brick By Brick: Rebuilding Our Past Dan Cruickshank and Charlie Luxton uncover the incredible hidden stories behind historic buildings as they are dismantled brick by brick, and meticulously resurrected in new locations.

10.00 Twenty Twelve See highlights.

10.30 QI XL Stephen Fry hosts the hilarious, mind-expanding quiz in which the aim is to be interesting.

11.15 FILM: Minority Report (2002) Starring Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, Samantha Morton, Max von Sydow.

Futuristic science fiction thriller.

1.30am FILM: Heaven (2002) 3.05 BBC News

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11.15 Murder, She Wrote 12.15pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 Planet’s Funniest Animals 1.05 FILM: Dragonheart (1996) 3.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian News; Weather 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals Humorous video clips of pets and other animals in unusual situations.

7.00 Emmerdale Chas is a mess in the wake of losing Aaron.

7.30 Coronation Street Carla is left stunned by Sally’s offer. Tina supports Tommy through a difficult time.

8.00 Poms In Paradise Documentary series following British expats in Sydney, Australia.

8.30 Coronation Street Stella reaches breaking point as the extent of Karl’s lies comes to light.

9.00 Benidorm Joyce becomes convinced that new guest Mrs Simmonds is the hotel assessor, but her attempts to impress do not start smoothly when Mrs Simmonds witnesses Joyce evicting a furious Kenneth from his salon for late payment of rent.

10.00 This Is Lionel Richie Soul legend Lionel Richie performs his biggest and best-loved hits live in front of a studio audience.

11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 FILM: Miami Vice (2006) Starring Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Li Gong, Naomie Harris and Ciaran Hinds. Glossy update of the 1980s crime series.

1.30am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.40 FILM: Closing The Ring (2007) 4.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Treacle People 6.20 The Hoobs 6.45 The Hoobs 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 According To Jim 8.05 According To Jim 8.35 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.05 Frasier 9.40 FILM: King Of Kings (1961) 12.45pm FILM: The Searchers (1956) 3.05 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... 2012: David Smith Part II 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tony goes head-tohead with Doug and Ste as the winning bidder for the deli is revealed, but can Doug go through with his deal with Brendan?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 4thought.tv 7.35 Marrying Prince Harry Third in line to the throne, the remaining handsome prince has become an object of desire for girls across the globe. Marrying Prince Harry follows five young women determined to snag their Prince Charming.

8.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host.

9.00 The Million Pound Drop Live Davina McCall will guide pairs of contestants as they face the daunting Drop in the hope of taking home some seriously big money.

10.30 Rude Tube: Viral Ads Alex Zane presents the funniest, strangest and most outrageous clips from the Internet.

11.35 The Mad Bad Ad Show In this the fifth show the ads are themed around beer, and Micky Flannigan and Mark Dolan are joined

by Rufus Hound and Sarah Pascoe.

12.25am FILM: Jackass 2.5 (2007) 1.45 FILM: Nurse Betty (2000) 3.35 Random Acts 3.40 My Name Is Earl (x2) 4.25 Trip To Yatkumchatka 4.30 Privileged 5.10 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Castle Farm 6.55 Little Princess 7.05 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.30 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.20pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.25 Meerkat Manor 12.55 Home And Away 1.25 Neighbours 1.55 NCIS 2.50 FILM: High Society (1956) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Stu’s memorial prompts Alf to take his charity to the next level and fly to Thailand.

6.30 Inside Hollywood The latest film and TV news from the USA. 6.35 Ultimate Police Interceptors Highlights of the documentary series following elite police pursuit units in Sheffield and Essex.

7.00 Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig Jovial presenter Rory McGrath and biker/archaeologist Paul Blinkhorn root around beneath some of the country’s oldest boozers to reveal hundreds of years of British history.

That’s their excuse.

8.00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers Observational documentary series following the famous haulage company.

9.00 The Mentalist Crime drama.

Jane and the team cross swords with an old adversary when they investigate the murder of a strident member of the anti-cult movement.

10.00 Castle See highlights.

11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. The brutal torture and murder of a young author leads the detectives to a series of suspects, including a slimy literary agent and a jaded older writer.

11.55 Inside Hollywood 12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.25 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm LIVE Football League: Championship 4.00 LIVE Ford Football Special 7.00 LIVE Golf: Masters 2012 12.30am Test Cricket 2.30 Ford Football Special 3.30 Football League: Championship 4.30 Irish League Football 5.25 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 LIVE Golf: Masters Breakfast 12.00pm LIVE Super League (x2) 5.00 Test Cricket 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 School Of Hard Knocks 10.30 Take It Like A Fan 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 Ford Football Special 12.30am Football League: Championship 1.30 European Rugby 4.00 Super League

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 Barclays Premier League World 8.30 LIVE Super 15 Rugby (x3) 2.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 3.00 Ringside 4.00 Kings Of The Snow 4.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Take It Like A Fan 1.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.00 Tight Lines 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Ringside 5.00 Tight Lines

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

3.00pm Modern Family (x2) 4.00 The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Airline (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons 7.30 The Middle 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Raising Hope 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 10.00 A League Of Their Own: Unseen 11.00 Cop Squad 12.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter 12.30 Dog The Bounty Hunter

7.00pm The Borrowers 8.30 FILM: Kung Fu Panda (2008) 9.55 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Angry Boys 1.00 Pramface (x5) 4.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 4.30 World Series Of Dating

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Angelic Voices: The Choristers Of Salisbury Cathedral 9.00 Queen Days Of Our Lives (x2) 11.00 Queen: The Legendary 1975 Concert 11.50 Old Grey Whistle Test: 70s Gold 1.20am When Rock Goes Acoustic 2.20 Angelic Voices: The Choristers Of Salisbury Cathedral

12.30pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 All Star Family Fortunes 4.25 New You’ve Been Framed! 4.55 FILM: Happy Feet (2006) 7.00 Britain’s Got Talent 8.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 9.00 American Idol: Results 10.00 FILM: Ocean’s Twelve (2004) 12.30am Best Of Harry Hill’s TV Burp

1.30pm FILM: The Likely Lads (1976) 3.25 FILM: George And Mildred (1980) 5.15 FILM: On The Buses (1971) 7.05 FILM: Carry On Camping (1969) 9.00 FILM: Carry On Follow That Camel (1967) 10.50 FILM: That’s Carry On (1978) 12.35am Brides In The Bath 2.30 Carry On Laughing 3.00 Film File

12.20pm Greek 1.15 Scrubs (x2) 2.15 Hollyoaks 2.45 90210 3.40 Glee 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Supernanny US 9.00 FILM: Broken Arrow (1996) 11.10 How To Be Famous 1.15am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

1.25pm The Landscape Man 2.30 Come Dine With Me 3.00 Four In A Bed 3.35 The Renovation Game 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: Juno (2007) 10.55 Country House Rescue 12.00am Relocation, Relocation

11.00am In And Out (1997) 12.50pm Just My Luck (2006) 2.45 The Devil Wears Prada (2006) 4.55 Dragonball Evolution (2009) 6.35 Battleship Interview Special 6.45 The Princess Diaries (2001) 9.00 Gentlemen Broncos (2009) 10.45 Kingpin (1996) 1.05am Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)

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039_LS571_TV_sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 30/03/2012 16:08 Page 1

saturday 7 Keith Lemon’s LemonAid ITV1, 6.15pm Not satisfied with conquering ITV2 with Celebrity Juice, the construct that is Keith Lemon has now set his anarchic glinty eye on Saturday early evening prime time on ITV1. Expect mischief, celebrities, a twisted sense of altruism and a jumpy sense of danger for all who surround the mega star in the making.

Britain’s Got Talent ITV1, 8pm Are you watching for the hope of a glimpse of the next big thing, or maybe for some car-crash auditions, or even to enjoy Simon Cowell’s squirming under the attentions of David Walliams?

Why not all three? With fellow judges Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon, these four sort the wheat from the chaff of talent.

Napoleon Dynamite E4, 12.05pm Seriously, a cartoon of the fabulous indie underdog comedy written by the chaps that wrote the film and starring the very chaps and chap-esses that were in the film, from Napoleon down to Grandma. Managing to maintain its indie credentials and make the most of its new animated format. Fab stuff.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking With Rachel Khoo 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 The Boat Race 3.05 Golf: The Masters 2012 – Highlights 4.20 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.35 FILM: Shrek (2001)

6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Gastronuts 7.30 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.05 Pixelface 8.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 9.00 The Slammer 9.30 The Ministry Of Curious Stuff 10.00 Animals At Work 10.30 Splatalot 11.00 Hacker Time 11.25 OOglies 11.40 MOTD Kickabout 12.00pm The Sky At Night 12.20 FILM: Road To Rio (1947) 2.00 FILM: Bringing Up Baby (1938) 3.35 Escape To The Country 4.05 Flog It! 5.05 Easter From King’s 2012: Passiontide To Easter

7.00 The Voice UK Music superstars Sir Tom Jones, Jessie J, will.i.am and Danny O’Donoghue take on the role of coaches in a mission to find and nurture the UK’s next great voice.

This is a talent show like no other – during the blind auditions, hopeful artists take to the stage while the coaches listen with their backs turned. When a coach likes what they hear, they hit a button which turns their chair to face the artist. If more than one coach turns their chair then up to the singer to decide whose team they want to join. Eek! 8.20 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show where five contestants compete to be in the right place at the right time.

9.10 Casualty Hospital drama. Dylan and Sam are forced to work together and confront the problems in their relationship when they are both sent to assist at a dramatic cave rescue.

10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces the best of the action and reaction from the day’s seven Premier League matches, with studio guests Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson providing expert analysis.

11.50 The Football League Show Action from all the day’s games, plus those taking place on Good Friday, presented by Manish Bhasin.

1.20am Weatherview 1.25 News

6.20 Dad’s Army Classic sitcom featuring the Home Guard of Walmington-on-Sea. The platoon is sent a huge naval gun – but how does it work?

6.50 Natural World Documentary which explores one crucial piece of the Titanic jigsaw that always escapes attention – the iceberg that caused the catastrophe.

7.40 Timewatch With the help of rare archive footage and location filming in America, Britain and Northern Ireland, Timewatch attempts to answer the mystery – why does the story of the Titanic have such a hold on people?

8.30 Golf: The Masters Hazel Irvine presents live third round coverage from golf’s richly-anticipated first major of 2012, the Masters from Augusta. Ulsterman Rory McIlroy will be hoping to atone for last year’s meltdown, when he failed to win from a commanding position going into the final day. Former world number one Tiger Woods, a four-times winner, could also be in contention, while three Englishmen, Lee Westwood, Luke Donald and Justin Rose, are in great form. Commentary from Peter Alliss, Ken Brown, Andrew Cotter and Wayne Grady.

12.00am The Sarah Millican Television Programme 12.30 FILM: Repo Chick (2009)

ITV1

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 X-Men 7.50 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.05 Hannah Montana 8.30 Hannah Montana 9.00 Fort Boyard – Ultimate Challenge 9.25 ITV News 9.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11.20 The Real Housewives Of New York City 12.20pm Murder, She Wrote 1.20 ITV News & Weather 1.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 1.55 FILM: The Secret Of My Success (1987) 3.55 FILM: Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (1971) 5.45 Meridian News And Weather 6.00 ITV News; Weather 6.15 Keith Lemon’s LemonAid See highlights.

7.00 All New You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill presents more hilarious footage filmed by viewers on their camcorders and mobile phones. This edition features macho men, feathered friends and unlikely insurance claims.

7.30 Best Of Harry Hill’s TV Burp 24 Harry delves into the archives to pick some of the best clips from series past, including classic sendups from Kirstie’s Handmade Britain, Natural World and Grimefighters.

Plus Harry gets a big shock when he finds out he has a twin.

8.00 Britain’s Got Talent See highlights.

9.15 Take Me Out Last in the series of the dating show. Paddy McGuinness has one more chance to find dates for his 30 single girls, but who will be the lucky ones whisked off to the Isle of Fernando’s and who will be left on the shelf?

10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Magicians (2007) Starring David Mitchell, Robert Webb, Peter Capaldi, Jessica Hynes, Juliet Stevenson and Miranda Hart.

Comedy from the makers of the sitcom Peep Show.

12.35am The Zone: Jackpot247 3.00 In Plain Sight 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

Channel Five

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 7.25 British Rallycross 7.55 The Morning Line 8.55 Koko Pop 9.25 Olly Murs: The Album Chart Show Special 9.55 Made In Chelsea 10.55 Charlie’s Angels 11.55 The Big Bang Theory 12.20pm The Big Bang Theory 12.50 The Simpsons 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 4.05 Come Dine With Me 4.35 Come Dine With Me 5.10 Come Dine With Me 5.45 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 Meerkat Manor 10.30 Holiday Heaven On Earth 11.15 Ultimate Police Interceptors 12.15pm Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers 1.15 Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig 2.20 FILM: Ambush At Tomahawk Gap (1953) 3.45 FILM: War Arrow (1953) 5.20 FILM: Two Mules For Sister Sara (1970)

6.15 Come Dine With Me The cookery-based reality show. The final host in Bristol is Andy Wright, a highly competitive cook who is confident that his black-tie dinner party will help him win the prize.

6.40 Channel 4 News 7.10 4thought.tv 7.15 Deal Or No Deal Noel Edmonds asks the all-important question as contestants do battle with the Banker in their quest to leave with £250,000.

8.10 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Documentary series looking at the world of 21st-century Gypsies and Travellers through the prism of weddings, christenings and celebratory events.

9.10 The Million Pound Drop Live The fifth show in the new run of The Million Pound Drop Live. Davina McCall will guide pairs of contestants as they face the daunting Drop in the hope of taking home some seriously big money.

10.45 FILM: Showgirls (1995) Starring Elizabeth Berkley, Gina Gershon, Kyle MacLachlan.

Explicit drama in which a young woman hits the Las Vegas strip joints seeking stardom.

1.20am FILM: A Scanner Darkly (2006) 3.00 The Moonbird 3.15 The Tannery 3.25 Franklin & Bash 4.05 Privileged 4.50 90210 5.30 Countdown

7.10 5 News Weekend 7.15 NCIS Drama series. Tony faces the consequences of his deadly encounter with Mossad agent Michael Rivkin. The agents fly to Israel to present Tony’s case to the head of Mossad, who also happens to be Ziva’s father.

8.05 NCIS US crime drama series.

After an ambush changes the course of their investigation, the NCIS team has to find answers quickly.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Doc Robbins turns detective to solve the mysterious deaths of a number of apparently unrelated victims.

Elsewhere, Riley and Greg investigate the murder of an extreme dieter.

10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama. A knock on the door is a prelude to a violent murder and another intriguing case for the crack team of NYPD forensic scientists and detectives.

10.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series.

Benson and Stabler tries to make a case against an accused serial rapist who drugs his victims so that they have no recollection of the incidents.

11.50 Inside Hollywood Get your daily fix of the latest film news.

12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 Great Scientists (x2) 4.45 Rough Guide To Adventures 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.25pm LIVE Rugby Union 2.45 LIVE European Rugby 5.30 LIVE European Rugby 8.00 LIVE Golf: Masters 2012 12.30am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Test Cricket 4.30 Spanish Football

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Ford Football Special 7.00 Football League: Championship 8.00 Take It Like A Fan 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Take It Like A Fan 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.15 Ringside 4.15 Sky Sports Classics 4.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 5.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Football First: Match Choice 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 Live Golf: Masters Breakfast 12.00pm Ringside 1.00 Max Power 2.00 WWE: Smackdown 4.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 5.00 Test Cricket 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 WWE: Late Night Superstars 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 3.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 Max Power 5.30 Road To London

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

1.00pm Futurama (x2) 2.00 Gadget Geeks 3.00 Best Of Oops TV 4.00 Modern Family (x2) 5.00 The Middle (x2) 6.00 Don’t Stop Me Now 7.00 Emergency Abroad 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 FILM: Another 48 Hrs (1990) 10.50 Cop Squad 11.50 Road Wars 12.50am The Real A&E 1.45 Secret World Of Magic

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 8.10 Shrek: Once Upon A Time 9.10 FILM: Shrek 2 (2004) 10.35 World Series Of Dating 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 American Dad! (x2) 12.35am White Van Man (x6) 3.30 The Real Hustle: Celebrity Chancers (x3)

7.00pm Still Ringing After All These Years: A Short History Of Bells 8.00 Monty Don’s Italian Gardens 9.00 Inspector Montalbano 10.45 The Secret Life Of Bob Monkhouse 12.15am The Art Of Tommy Cooper 12.45 The Sky At Night 1.15 Destination Titan 2.15 Still Ringing After All These Years

2.15pm The Cube 3.15 American Idol: Performance and Results 6.05 FILM: The Borrowers (1997) 8.00 The Zoo 9.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.15 Britain’s Got More Talent 10.15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 10.45 Take Me Out - The Gossip 11.45 Celebrity Juice 12.30am Keith Lemon’s LemonAid

12.55pm FILM: Carry On Camping (1969) 1.40 FILM: Carry On Follow That Camel (1967) 3.40 FILM: Carry On Jack (1963) 5.35 FILM: Carry On Up The Jungle (1970) 7.25 FILM: Carry On Henry (1971) 9.15 FILM: Carry On Cleo (1965) 11.05 FILM: Carry On Jack (1963) 12.55am Wycliffe 2.00 Itv3 Nightscreen

1.20pm Hollyoaks 3.55 Made In Chelsea 5.00 The Big Bang Theory (x6) 8.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 9.00 FILM: Date Movie (2006) 10.40 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.35 The Cleveland Show 12.05am Napoleon Dynamite. See highlights. 12.35 My Name Is Earl 1.00 The Ricky Gervais Show (x2)

12.10pm FILM: Knights Of The Round Table (1953) 2.25 Grand Designs 3.30 Relocation: Phil Down Under 4.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 6.50 The Restoration Man 7.55 Grand Designs Australia 9.00 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 10.05 FILM: Juno (2007) 12.00am The Restoration Man

11.00am Aquamarine (2006) 1.00pm Stardust (2007) 3.25 Five Children And It (2004) 5.15 New In Town (2009) 7.05 St Trinian’s (2007) 9.00 Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) 10.50 Kaboom (2010) 12.30am The Loved Ones (2009) 2.10 The League Of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse (2005)

“There was a great gig last night.”

“No, it was rubbish!” The verdict’s out at

m.thelatest.co.uk/reviews

thelatest.co.uk/reviews

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040_LS571_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 30/03/2012 16:12 Page 1

sunday 8 Golf: The Masters BBC2, 7pm Not a massive golf fan? Then steer clear of BBC2 for most of tonight as Hazel Irvine presents coverage of the final and deciding round from Augusta. It’s the first major of 2012 and gives both Rory McIlroy and Tiger Woods the chance to atone for their respective sporting and personal meltdowns.

Crucifixion Channel 4, 10pm Controversial anatomist Dr Gunther von Hagens (the same guy who in 2002 performed the first public autopsy in Britain for 170 years) attempts to recreate a crucifixion using his famous method of injecting plastic into donated body parts. He also looks at representations of crucifixes in Michelangelo and Monty Python.

FILM: Gladiator ITV2, 10pm There’s a lot of gladiatorial films about, but this is the classic Ridley Scott film starring Russell Crowe as Maximus, who sets out to avenge his murdered wife and son while perfecting the croaky voice. Joaquin Phoenix threatens to steal the show as the evil Commodus and there’s a tragic swan-song from Oliver Reed.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.30 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Easter Day Eucharist From Coventry Cathedral 11.00 Urbi Et Orbi 11.35 Country Tracks 12.35pm Escape To The Country 1.35 BBC News 1.45 Human Planet 2.45 Wallace And Gromit: A Grand Day Out 3.10 FILM: Mary Poppins (1964) 5.25 Songs Of Praise

6.00 Titanic With Len Goodman Len discovers how eight men who helped build the Titanic went down with her on that fateful night.

6.30 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile The people and the stories at the heart of the British countryside.

8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team make a return to Wimbledon’s All England Tennis Club, meeting Londoners bringing their precious heirlooms for appraisal.

Objects featured include memorabilia from the first London Olympics in 1908, an archive depicting the illusionist who inspired Harry Houdini to try his hand at escapology, and a pencil-drawn portrait of Nelson.

9.00 Silent Witness Drama series about a team of forensic pathologists.

10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Match Of The Day 2 Colin Murray is joined by Lee Dixon, for highlights of the day’s Premier League fixtures between Manchester United and QPR, and Arsenal and Manchester City.

11.25 MotoGP: Losail 12.55am Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: The Diamond Queen 2.00 Holby City 3.00 A History Of Ancient Britain Special: Orkney’s Stone Age Temple 4.00 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am Harry And Toto 6.10 Lunar Jim 6.20 Timmy Time 6.30 Chuggington 6.40 Let’s Celebrate 7.00 Gastronuts 7.30 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.05 Paradise Cafe 8.30 Wingin’ It 8.55 Horrible Histories 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.35 Great British Menu 12.35pm FILM: A Distant Trumpet (1964) 2.30 Cycling: World Track Championships 5.00 The Many Faces Of Dame Judi Dench

6.00 Frozen Planet: The Epic Journey This Frozen Planet Christmas Special brings together the very best highlights of the series, taking viewers on a spectacular journey through the entire polar year - from the depths of winter to the melting world of the polar summer. In the south, spring starts with the comical stone-stealing Adelie penguin males. In summer the females return and the parents struggle to raise their chicks before the big freeze of autumn. In the north, tiny polar bear cubs begin their lives under the snow, while the male faces the harshest winter on Earth. Will all three cubs survive as the ice melts beneath their feet? These stories, together with unforgettable moments from Frozen Planet’s other characters, play out against breathtaking polar scenery in this one-hour special.

7.00 Golf: The Masters See highlights.

12.00am Twenty Twelve Comedy series following the personal and professional challenges faced by those responsible for delivering the biggest show on earth, as the Olympic Deliverance team try to get through to the end of the day, the end of the week and the end of the year without all the wheels falling off at once.

12.30 FILM: Deadline (2009) 1.50 BBC News 3.00 The Super League Show

ITV1

6.00am – 7.25am Children’s television 7.25 Monk 7.30 Matt Hatter Chronicles 7.50 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.05 Horrid Henry 8.20 Horrid Henry 8.30 Victorious 8.55 Monk 9.00 Fort Boyard – Ultimate Challenge 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Ade In Britain 10.30 May The Best House Win 11.30 Matt Cardle: Into The Light 12.30pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 Britain’s Got Talent 1.50 Planet’s Funniest Animals 2.15 Planet’s Funniest Animals 2.45 This Is Lionel Richie 3.45 FILM: The Mummy (1999) 6.00 Meridian News And Weather 6.15 ITV News & Weather 6.30 All Star Family Fortunes 7.30 The One And Only Des O’Connor To celebrate both his 80th birthday and 50 years in showbusiness, legendary entertainer Des O’Connor is joined by a host of celebrities from the worlds of comedy, music and entertainment such as Matt Lucas, Paul O’Grady, Robert Lindsay, Rhod Gilbert and Melanie Sykes.

9.00 Titanic Part three of an epic four-part drama. Italian stoker Mario Sandrini blags a job on the Titanic for his brother Paolo, who encounters cabin steward Annie Desmond and is instantly smitten. Watson is loitering in steerage and Barnes is shocked to discover why, while Paolo startles Annie with an impulsive gesture.

10.00 ITV News & Weather 10.15 Perspectives: Sergeant On Spike John Sergeant presents a personal film about his childhood hero and lifelong inspiration - Spike Milligan. To mark 10 years since Spike died, John meets the people who knew him best as he uncovers the man behind The Goon Show and reveals Spike’s lasting legacy.

11.15 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show.

12.10am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.30 River Monsters 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.15am – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... Hannah Cockroft 2012 Pt II 7.40 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 8.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Sunday Brunch 12.00pm The Big Bang Theory 12.30 The Big Bang Theory 12.55 The Big Bang Theory 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 The Simpsons 2.30 FILM: Doctor Dolittle (1998) 4.05 Time Team 5.10 Channel 4 News 5.15 4thought.tv 5.20 Come Dine With Me 6.20 FILM: Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (2009) Animation about the three singing rodents that go to high school in LA, where they enter a Battle of the Bands contest.Starring Zachary Levi, Jason Lee and Christina Applegate.

8.00 Celebrity Deal Or No Deal Noel Edmonds asks the all-important question as a celebrity contestant battles the Banker in a quest to leave the Dream Factory with 250,000 pounds for their chosen charity.

9.00 Homeland As Carrie and Saul reel from the news that Walker is alive, the intelligence community is divided on the best way to get him.

10.00 Crucifixion See highlights.

11.20 FILM: Lake Placid (1999) Horror comedy about the hunt for a huge man-eating reptile living in a lake in Maine. Following the death of a local diver, a New York palaeontologist is sent out to help the local fisheries warden investigate Starring Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Brendan Gleeson and Oliver Platt.

1.00am FILM: 21 Grams (2003) Powerful and intricate drama about three distinctly different people whose lives are shattered when an alcoholic ex-convict kills an architect and his two daughters.

3.00 The Lobster Club 3.05 Crash, Bang, Wallow 3.10 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.20 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Bananas In Pyjamas 7.25 Thomas & Friends Special: Day Of The Diesels 8.15 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 FILM: High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008) 12.05pm London: The Inside Story 1.05 FILM: Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 5.15 5 News Weekend 5.20 FILM: Toy Story (1995) 7.00 William And Kate: One Year On Documentary charting the first year of the marriage of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, featuring interviews with royal commentators and archive footage.

8.00 Once Upon A Time While Regina does everything in her power to force Emma out of Storybrooke in the real world, the Evil Queen finds she must pay a terrible price to activate the Dark Curse.

9.00 FILM: Blade II (2002) Supernatural vampire action sequel in which Blade reluctantly joins forces with a commando team in order to thwart a killing spree by a race of rogue bloodsuckers known as Reapers. With Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson and Ron Perlman.

11.00 FILM: The Hard Corps (2006) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Viv Leacock. Action thriller in which a former soldier assembles a team of tough bodyguards to protect an ex-boxer. The one-time champ, now a successful entrepreneur, is targeted by a rap mogul who has been released from prison. The excon blames the boxer for putting him behind bars and wants revenge.

1.10am SuperCasino 3.55 Five VOD Europa League Football 4.50 Rough Guide To Short Breaks 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 LIVE Golf: Masters 2012 12.30am Sporting Greats 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Ford Football Special 4.00 Sporting Greats 4.30 Spanish Football

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Racemax 7.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Golf: Masters Breakfast 12.00pm Sporting Greats 12.30 Sporting Greats 1.00 LIVE European Rugby 4.00 LIVE European Rugby 7.00 LIVE European Rugby 9.30 School Of Hard Knocks 10.00 European Rugby Special 11.00 Ford Football Special 12.30am School Of Hard Knocks 1.00 European Rugby Special 2.00 Racemax 3.00 Modern Pentathlon 4.00 Modern Pentathlon 5.00 Super League: Full Time

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 9.00 WWE: Afterburn 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Racemax 12.00pm This Week In WWE 12.30 Modern Pentathlon 1.30 Modern Pentathlon 2.30 This Week In WWE 3.00 WWE: Experience 4.00 LIVE Elite League Ice Hockey 7.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 7.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.30 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 11.30 This Week In WWE 12.00am WWE: Vintage Collection 1.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 4.00 Racemax 5.00 Watersports World

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.30pm Futurama 1.00 Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2) 2.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life USA 3.00 Gadget Geeks 4.00 A League Of Their Own (x6) 7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 House 12.00am Spartacus: Vengeance 1.15 Road Wars 2.10 The Real A&E

7.00pm The Voice UK 8.20 FILM: Shrek The Third (2007) 9.45 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 10.30 Family Guy (x3) 12.00am American Dad! (x2) 12.45 Angry Boys 1.15 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 3.10 Lip Service 4.10 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra

7.00pm Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 8.00 Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 9.00 FILM: Strictly Ballroom (1992) 10.30 Passion In Port Talbot 11.30 Angelic Voices: The Choristers Of Salisbury Cathedral 1.00am Queen – Days Of Our Lives 2.00 Queen – Days Of Our Lives 3.05 Queen: The Legendary 1975 Concert

12.00pm Winners & Losers 12.55 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 1.25 Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 2.10 FILM: Happy Feet (2006) 4.15 Britain’s Got Talent 5.30 Britain’s Got More Talent 6.30 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 9.00 Benidorm 10.00 FILM: Gladiator (2000) 1.10am American Idol

12.40pm FILM: On The Buses (1971) 2.30 The Best Of Benny Hill 4.15 FILM: Carry On Cleo (1965) 6.05 FILM: Carry On Matron (1972) 8.00 FILM: Holiday On The Buses (1974) 9.50 FILM: The Magnificent Two (1967) 11.45 FILM: Doctor Zhivago (1965) 3.20am Itv3 Nightscreen 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

11.35am Smallville: Superman The Early Years 12.30pm Scrubs (x2) 1.35 Listen 1.55 Perfect Couples 2.25 FILM: See Spot Run (2001) 4.10 Ugly Betty (x2) 6.00 90210 6.55 FILM: Footloose (1984) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Made In Chelsea 12.00am Ricky Gervais: Science 1.05 Glory Daze (x2)

1.45pm River Cottage Bites 1.55pm Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.20 The TV Book Club 7.55 River Cottage Every Day 9.00 River Cottage Every Day 10.00 How To Cook Like Heston 10.35 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.15am River Cottage Every Day (x2)

11.00am Five Children And It (2004) 1.00pm Star Trek III: The Search For Spock (1984) 3.00 James And The Giant Peach (1996) 4.35 Big (1988) 6.35 Hairspray (2007) 9.00 Coming To America (1988) 11.20 Dawn Of The Dead (2004) 1.20am Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny (2006) 3.20 Close

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From full body tattoos to legendary tattooists, we take you behind the scenes of The Tattoo Convention

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monday 9 Titanic With Len Goodman BBC1, 6.30pm What does that judge off Strictly Come Dancing know about the Titanic, you may well ask? Well, he used to be a ship welder in east London. Of course. He looks at what life was like on board for both rich and poor through the memoirs of the stewardesses and compares it to the modern equivalent, the Queen Mary 2.

Simon Amstell: Do Nothing Live BBC2, 10pm This is a bit of an old one from 2010, recorded in Dublin from his acclaimed show that impressed in the UK, New York and at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal. It is a departure from his usually carefully managed Buzzcocks persona to reveal an awkward and honest side.

Wallace And Gromit: A Close Shave BBC3, 7pm Celebrate the fact that animation is getting a tax break by reliving a past glory in the form of Nick Park’s third Wallace and Gromit instalment, plus Aardman studios have a new film out about pirates soon. This is the one with all the sheep and the evil robot dog; what more could you want?

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Animal 24/7 9.45 Homes Under The Hammer 10.45 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.15 South East Today 1.25 FILM: Antz (1998) 2.40 FILM: Flushed Away (2006) 4.00 Wallace And Gromit: The Wrong Trousers 4.30 Final Score 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.15 South East Today 6.30 Titanic With Len Goodman See highlights.

7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? In a rare television appearance, best-selling Harry Potter author JK Rowling sets out to investigate her French roots.

8.00 EastEnders George’s presence in the Mitchell household continues to pile the pressure on Ben and Jay, leading Phil to make a painful decision. Janine is left frustrated after Michael appears disinterested by plans for their wedding, but could talk of her prenuptial agreement have anything to do with his detachment?

8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted sports quiz.

9.00 Silent Witness Drama series about a team of forensic pathologists.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.10 South East Today 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces the best of the action and reaction from Easter Monday’s five Premier League matches.

11.35 The Football League Show Highlights and analysis from the Football League.

12.50am Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: The Diamond Queen 1.55 To Boldly Go 2.55 Britain’s First Photo Album 3.25 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am – 8.45am Children’s television 8.45 Numtums 8.50 Little Charley Bear 9.00 Buzz And Tell 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.35 Small Potatoes 9.40 The Koala Brothers 9.50 Mr Bloom’s Nursery 10.10 Baby Jake 10.20 ZingZillas Zingbop 10.30 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 FILM: Funny Girl (1968) 1.50pm FILM: The Way We Were (1973) 3.45 Helicopter Heroes 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz show.

6.30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrities join the Antiques Road Show for a treasure hunting trip across the UK. 7.30 Great British Menu Great British Menu is back and the fight is on as some of the nation’s greatest chefs battle for the chance to cook a glittering Olympic banquet.

8.00 Chaplains: Angels Of Mersey Series following the work of chaplains in the city of Liverpool.

8.30 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking With Rachel Khoo Croydon-born cook and food writer Rachel Khoo demonstrates her imaginative flair for Parisian cuisine.

9.00 Modern Spies In the second of two programmes, serving British secret agents talk about their work as Peter Taylor asks how far can today’s spies go to prevent terrorist attacks?

10.00 Simon Amstell: Do Nothing Live See highlights.

11.00 The Story Of Slapstick Slapstick comedy special narrated by Miranda Hart charting the highs and lows of physical comedy and examining the audience’s love of visual humour from the likes of Monty Python and Laurel and Hardy.

12.00am FILM: Gregory’s Girl (1981) Unsentimental coming-of-age comedy. 1.30 FILM: Blame It On Fidel (2006) 3.00 BBC News

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11.15 Murder, She Wrote 12.15pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.15 ITV News & Weather 1.30 You’ve Been Framed!

2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 The Great British Taste Tour 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian News And Weather 6.15 ITV News & Weather 6.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals Humorous video clips of pets.

7.00 Emmerdale Zak is rushed to hospital.

7.30 Coronation Street An angry Stella makes a tough decision after Karl’s betrayal.

8.00 The Dales Adrian Edmondson visits Kilnsey Show in Upper Wharfedale to see sheep dog trials.

8.30 Coronation Street Leanne is left winded by Peter’s stipulation.

9.00 Scott & Bailey Rachel is angry about missing her sergeant’s exam and about Nick Savage not being charged with her attempted murder.

10.00 Kelly And Her Sisters Grow Up In 2000, ITV broadcast a Bafta award-winning documentary about a family of eight struggling to cope on their condemned housing estate in Birmingham. Now, 11 years later, they reveal thier lives have gone.

11.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 11.15 Mayday Mayday A physicist, solo sailing trip across the English Channel, has to be rescued.

11.45 Smugglers Documentary about the trade in counterfeit goods, now worth an estimated £1 billion a year in Britain. 12.40am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.05am The Treacle People 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.35 According To Jim 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 FILM: Ben-Hur (1959) 3.10pm Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed

6.00 The Simpsons Homer becomes a food critic and risks the wrath of Springfield’s restaurateurs.

6.30 Hollyoaks There is friction between Mitzeee and Riley when she exaggerates the attentions of a fan to a journalist.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 4thought.tv 8.00 Inside Nature’s Giants: Hippo The team head to the Luangwa Valley in Zambia, home to the largest population of hippos in the world.

Due to their large numbers authorities must cull 200 of them each year to ensure the survival of other species in the park.

9.00 Embarrassing Bodies The doctors visit Tamworth, where Dr Pixie helps a man whose oozing bottom wound hasn’t healed in six years and Dr Christian meets a woman with a mysterious whistle.

10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon Ramsay travels around the United States to rescue restaurants in peril.

11.00 Homeland As Carrie and Saul reel from the news that Walker is alive, the intelligence community is divided on the best way to get him.

12.00am Random Acts Series of three-minute films. 12.05 Disasters At Sea: Why Ships Sink 1.10 Death Row 2.05 FILM: I Heart Huckabees (2004) 3.50 Franklin & Bash 4.35 St Elsewhere 5.20 Privileged

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.50 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With...

12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.10 Meerkat Manor 12.40 Home And Away 1.10 Neighbours 1.40 The Phantom Of The Opera At The Royal Albert Hall 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Gina urges Sasha to reveal who is bullying her.

6.25 Inside Hollywood Get your daily fix of the latest film and TV news from the USA. 6.35 Monkey Life As winter grips the park, the chimps enjoy throwing snowballs in the icy weather.

7.00 Cowboy Traders Dominic Littlewood and Melinda Messenger meet the couples who were taken for a ride by a bridal-shop owner with a long and chequered history.

8.00 Ultimate Police Interceptors Jason is called to deal with the chaos of a bloody bludgeoning and a runaway driver leads eight police cars on a high speed pursuit.

9.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge In some of the world’s greatest fishing destinations Robson Green challenges local masters of their craft over five rounds of competitive fishing.

10.00 FILM: Outlaw (2007) Starring Sean Bean, Danny Dyer, Bob Hoskins, Rupert Friend and Sally Bretton.

Violent action thriller about an Iraq veteran who returns from war to find London in the grip of violent crime.

12.10am America’s Toughest Prisons This programme follows exconvict Donovan who, after 14 years in prison, must learn to live ‘on the outside’. 1.10 SuperCasino Live 3.55 House Doctor Home 4.20 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Sporting Greats 6.30 Golf: Masters 2012 12.30pm LIVE Football League 2.45 LIVE Super League 5.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 10.30 Football First: Match Choice 12.00am Football First: Match Choice 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Sports Unlimited 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Rugby Special 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 Super League: Full Time 12.00pm European Rugby Special 1.00 Golf: Masters 2012 7.00 Super League 8.00 How The Masters 2012 Was Won 10.00 Snowboarding 10.30 SPL Round-Up 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00am How The Masters 2012 Was Won 3.30 How The Masters 2012 Was Won 5.30 SPL Round-Up

Sky Sports 3 6.00am European Rugby Special 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 Super League: Full Time 9.00 Modern Pentathlon 10.00 Modern Pentathlon 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Modern Pentathlon 2.00 Modern Pentathlon 2.55 LIVE Test Cricket 10.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 11.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE: Late Night Afterburn 1.00 WWE NXT 2.00 Live WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 Sky Sports Classics 4.30 Journey: A Warren Miller Film

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

1.00pm Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut (x4) 3.00 Modern Family (x2) 4.00 The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Gadget Geeks 9.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life USA 10.00 Spartacus: Blood And Sand 11.15 Fringe 12.15am Dog The Bounty Hunter

7.00pm Wallace And Gromit: A Close Shave 7.30 Great Movie Mistakes III: Not In 3D 7.35 FILM: Kung Fu Panda (2008) 9.00 Our Crime 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 World Series Of Dating 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Our Crime 1.30 World Series Of Dating

7.00pm Clarissa And The King’s Cookbook 7.30 The Story Of Maths 8.30 Petworth House: The Big Spring Clean 9.00 Plastic: How It Works 10.00 Destination Titan 11.00 Sex And Sensibility: The Allure Of Art Nouveau 12.00am Dinosaurs, Myths And Monsters 1.00 The Story Of Maths 2.00 Petworth House

12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Cube 4.45 FILM: The Borrowers (1997) 6.30 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 9.00 FILM: Knocked Up (2007) 11.40 Celebrity Juice 12.25am The Vampire Diaries 1.20 Coronation Street (x2) 2.15 Emmerdale

1.20pm FILM: The Magnificent Two (1967) 3.20 FILM: Carry On Up The Jungle (1970) 45.05 FILM: Are You Being Served?

(1977) 7.05 FILM: The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery (1966) 9.00 FILM: Steptoe And Son (1972) 11.00 FILM: Mutiny On The Buses (1973) 12.45am Jeeves And Wooster

2.20pm Hollyoaks 2.50 90210 3.45 Glee 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Made In Chelsea 11.00 Rude Tube 12.05am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.35pm The Renovation Game 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Grand Designs Australia 10.10 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 11.15 Relocation: Phil Down Under 12.20am The Daily Show Global Edition

11.00am Casablanca (1942) 1.05pm Ponyo (2008) 3.15 Passport To Pimlico (1949) 5.00 Crocodile Dundee (1986) 6.50 Grease (1978) 9.00 Heat (1995) 12.20am Brazil (1985) 3.20 Close

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