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001_LS561_cover_editorial cover 20/01/2012 17:57 Page 1

the city & news magazine for brighton & hove

Guy does...

H jobs H news H food H listings H tv guide H 24 – 30 January 2012


Juice FM’s Guy Lloyd has tried leg waxing for charity and joined The Hoosiers for a day. Now, watch as Guy takes on the city’s newest landmark in ‘Guy Does the Brighton Wheel’. Watch it now on Brighton Lights 36 at:

Oriental heat Volcanic stones get to work at Shadi Danin Medi-Spa page 21

CHRIS ADDISON The Mock The Week star on his new stand-up show

e v a w Your monthly

lthy guide to he2a1 living p

HOME FROM HOME Play host to international students studying in Brighton WIN! Tickets to American Anthems – The Rock Musical

002_LS561_Bali Brasserie_Layout 1 20/01/2012 09:56 Page 1

St. Valentine’s Dinner & Dance With Live Music by Tyler A Romantic Evening with a Tropical Glow THE INTRODUCTION Sup Rasa Sayang – An exotic hot & sour chicken & vegetable soup with a hint of coconut served with giant Javanese prawn crackers ••••••••••••••• THE OVERTURES Satay Ayam – The famous char-grilled chicken delicacy of the Far East served with garnish and spicy peanut sauce ••••••••••••••• THE HEART OF THE MATTER We invite our customers to help themselves from our delightful hot buffet: Daging Tiram – Beef cooked in oyster sauce with ginger and green peppers Udang Sambal – King prawns in a spicy tomato and red pepper sauce with a hint of coconut Ayam Kari – Boneless breast of chicken in a distinctive Malaysian style curry sauce Kachang Mera – Red kidney beans in a delicate curry sauce Sajur Tumis – Seasonal stir-fry of mixed vegetables Mee Goreng – Soft noodles fried with egg and vegetables

Keripik – Peanuts and potato crisps in a dry caramel sauce of chilli, onion, peppers and lemon grass Indonesian Salad – Mixed salad in a light dressing Nasi Kuning – Saffron rice Accompaniment – Sambal Blachan (Hot chilli shrimp paste) ••••••••••••••• LOVER’S NEST Mango & Mascarpone Cheesecake served on a bed of mango coulis OR fresh kiwi, melon, grapes served in a tropical liqueur with cream OR passion fruit sorbet Triple Chocolate Bavarois served on a bed of strawberry coulis ••••••••••••••• A COSY FINISH – Coffee with mints •••••••••••••••

£ 24.95 + 10% service A Fish or Vegetarian version of this menu is available Open 7 days a week for lunch 12.30 - 2.00 and dinner 6.30 - 10.30 11.00 Friday/Saturday

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove (on seafront) Tel: 01273 323810

003_LS561_contents _Contents 20/01/2012 17:42 Page 1


CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine


>on tv


Brighton Lights Ep. 36

06 Latest Brighton & Hove News & Jobs Frank le Duc on Royal Sussex County Hospital plans, Youth Music Theatre UK searches for stars 14 Sport: Brighton & Hove Albion Mark Brailsford wonders about worms, Stewart Weir is foul plus Will Jago talks goals with Peter Brezovan 16 Bare Cheek Brighton backs the Olympics... or do we? 16 Mad Matt Matt Whistler woos a wobot at Hotel Pelirocco 17 City Speak Ruby carries the card for routine; Tasha contemplates a cat’s life and Will gets hot on the beach 18 Snapshots Brighton born songwriter and producer Paul Steel 18 Competitions Win theatre tickets for American Anthems, plus DVDs 19 Celebcity Lawson, The Wanted, Tropicana on ice at the Brighton Centre and Britney in Brighton (sort of)

In the new edition of Brighton Lights, episode 36, which comes out this week, Val Aviv goes clubbing with June Brown, aka Dot Cotton, and asks her lots of rude questions about ageing. Dot gives back as good as she gets! Veronica Trickett looks at Steampunk and Brighton troubadours Gypsy Switch; Will (Ranieri) films Cassette Lord and Guy (Lloyd) Does The Wheel. We now have around 50 programmes on our updated website for you to watch so please do check out for our shows. Lots of you have been watching The Vote proving that there is a real audience for Brighton political debate. The Vote sees three heavyweight politicians – Lord Bassam of Brighton, City Council Leader Bill Randall, and Mike Weatherley MP – debate the big political issues in Brighton and Hove as well as naming their awards for the political stars. Your referee for the event is Frank le Duc and, as you might expect, it makes exciting viewing. If you want to be part of Brighton's TV channel come to our open democratic meetings at Latest MusicBar every Monday at 5.30pm.

L7 INTERVIEW 20 Chris Addison, Jack of all comedy trades, talks stand up with Victoria Nangle



24–30 JANUARY 2012

21 Cover feature: Shadi Danin Medi-Spa Try out this new and amazing hot stone bath treatment 23 Wave Power Plates at Revitalise; Seedy Sunday returns; hypnotherapist Jonathan Conway interviewed; win a haramaki ‘body warmer’ from NukuNuku 26 Hotlist; Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Andrew cashes his chips at the Rendezvous Casino


Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Wondering what to do tonight? From Zumba to stand-up comedy and the latest theatre shows, our online listings will leave you with plenty of ideas – and a jam-packed diary too. Catch up on all the latest news headlines from the city – stories are updated as they happen; it’s all on our homepage. Listen to the ever growing Latest Brighton Download Chart – submit your own track or play music as you catch up with all your favourite columnists. Here you will also find how to follow the Latest team on Twitter and ‘like’ our Latest 7 page on Facebook! It’s all online:

Comedy, music or clubs?

28 Reviews & Bookings Swallows and Amazons amaze as ever; Mark Waston is coming to the Brighton Dome 29 Latest Brighton Download Chart This week’s Number One is... 32 Latest Previews The Humble Quest For Universal Genius settles in at Komedia: swap clothes at Hotel Du Vin 34 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes with Val Aviv; a look at the latest TV imports, plus your free seven page TV guide Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless


Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi


Find out what’s going on in Brighton while you’re on the move with comprehensive listings straight to your mobile phone Editor Zara Baker Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess Sub Editors Chris Dyer Jamie Jolley Rachel Junior

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Music Listings Nick Aldwinckle Design Anand Day Andrew Wright

Illustrators Lili Bé Graham Clark Paul Lewis Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi Work Experience Bethany Hinchcliffe

Watch our shows at

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01273 818150 Editorial: Advertising:

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH



10-11 King's Road, Brighton East Sussex BN1 1NE TEL. 01273 328672



004_LS561_latest people_Social Diary 20/01/2012 17:50 Page 2





Fatboy Slim goes back to school, Holiday On Ice premiere, Marathon Mini Mile and The Healthy Company launches

Praise you

Ice dreams

Brighton’s legendary DJ and dance music pioneer Fatboy Slim, AKA Norman Cook visited students from City College Brighton and Hove in Pelham Street and held a Q&A with Matthew Hodson, course leader of the BA Hons Music Foundation course. The event at City College is helping to promote Norman’s summer gig: Big Beach Bootique 5. Norman will be releasing a limited number of tickets for City College students at just £32 for each event and no booking fee charge. These will be available from the College’s Art Shop at the Pelham Street campus and the Tuck Shop at the City College East campus on Wilson Avenue. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

An astonishing 324 million people have seen a Holiday on Ice show. Working with top talent from the worlds of both ice skating and theatre, Holiday on Ice produces a spectacular new show each year. The Brighton Centre is currently hosting Tropicana – The Passion Tour, with Robin Cousins as the choreographer and music from Barry Manilow this will be no exception. There was a Premiere Gala Reception held at the Brighton Centre on 13 January with proceeds from the opening night being donated to Rockinghorse Charity. The show runs until 29 January 2012. Bookings can be made from the Brighton Centre Box Office. Words & photos: Patrick Kneath

Matthew Hodson (City College), Norman Cook

Isabella Larkin, Robin Cousins, Caitlin Marsh

Isabella, Meghan, Bryan, Tasha Larkin

Norman Cook with students

Matthew Hodson (Course Leader), Norman Cooke, Daniel Doyle (Care 3 Beatz)

Student audience

Healthy ambition Former Wales (and BHAFC) football player Robbie Savage returned to the home of Brighton and Hove Albion Football club to open The Healthy Company wellbeing centre on Tuesday 10 January. The centre is now open to the community at Amex Stadium and is run by Club Doctor Tim Stevenson and his team. The new facility is offering a wide range of services to local people and businesses, from First Aid training, to therapies, from Life Coaching and Stress Management to private GP services. Martin Perry, chief executive and stadium director, said: “This is another exciting development, by incorporating a health and wellbeing centre, we are delivering on our promise that The Amex will be a stadium for the community.”

Claire Friend, Andrew Kay (Latest 7) & Zara Baker (Latest 7)

Stewart Wright & Anita Curtis (Coaches of Caitlin), Caitlin Marsh, Robin & Sharron Marsh

Allie Polhill (Rockinghorse), Jilly Greed (MD Holiday on Ice UK), Robin Cousins

Louise Trotter (Nurse Manager), Robbie Savage, Becky Jeffries (Sports Therapist)

Miniature heroes

Words and photos: Diana Frangi Kazenga LuaLua, Tommy Elphick, Adam El-Abd (BHAFC players)

BHAFC Chief Executive Martin Perry, Craig Mackail-Smith (BHAFC player)

Tony Meadows (Mayor's Consort), Cllr Anne Meadows (Mayor of Brighton & Hove)

Dr Tim Stevenson and Jackie Stevenson (owners of the new wellbeing centre), Mark McGhee (former BHAFC manager)

Longhill Secondary School, Rottingdean, hosted the Grand Hotel Mini Mile Races Launch on 9 January. The Grand Hotel Mini Mile Races are age-related races staged along the seafront on the morning of The Brighton Marathon, 15 April 2012 , covering a one mile distance over the last stretch of the marathon course. The races are open to 7–17 year olds. At the launch was The Grand Hotel’s General Manager, Andrew Mosley, Tim Hutchings, Brighton Marathon Race Director, Olympian Richard Nerurkar (Atlanta 1996) and Longhill old boy Tom Naylor. More details and entry forms at Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Richard Nerurkar, Andrew Mosley, Tim Hutchings & Tom Naylor with students

Paul Collicutt (Chairman, Phoneix AC) & Richard Nerurkar with Longhill School children who have entered

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006_LS561_news Frank talking_editorial 20/01/2012 14:23 Page 2


latest brighton & hove news

FRANKTALKING Insight, comment and analysis from the editor of Brighton & Hove News, Frank le Duc

We want to praise you Patrick Kneath

Fatboy Slim set a great example by mixing with the generation hoping to follow in his footsteps


orman Cook – aka Fatboy Slim – spent an hour answering questions Fatboy Slim mixed encouragement, praise and a hard dose of reality as he from students, staff and others at City College Brighton & Hove last talked about the incredible state of flux engulfing the music industry. Asked week. Nominally, the lesson was about the music business and the for tips he said: “When I started, you sent a demo cassette to a record technology and tricks of the trade used by DJs, artists and producers. But, company. But now demo cassettes are about as redundant as record more importantly, Fatboy Slim gave a lesson in mixing. Not the kind of mixing companies. It’s a brave new world. Cut out the middlemen of the record he does with his record deck. But the kind that involves sharing the secrets of companies and try to keep as much of the royalties as you can yourselves.” his success with patience, courtesy and good humour. He’s not alone in supporting City College and its He flattered his audience by asking their advice. Who thousands of learners. Two former students are among should be on the bill when he headlines the first two music those to have lent their kudos. Gresham Blake, fashion “Students gain events at the American Express Community Stadium at designer and bespoke tailor, has his Brighton shop not Falmer in June? But he challenged them too. As they far from the college’s Pelham Street premises. At an something extra from reeled off names he said: “I was looking for people I was awards ceremony there in the autumn he made a speech too old to have heard of.” that was in turns funny and yet couched in terms of seeing and listening And the 48-year-old showed them respect. Asked what gratitude and a touching humility. to former pupils and software and hardware he preferred, he confessed to And Ben McKellar, better known as the chef behind the sticking with Atari because it’s what he learnt to use when Gingerman restaurants, has also shared his memories, others share their he started out. He said: “I was a bit scared that I would be saying that his time at City College was “very good”. He like an old granddad, with you all studying music said: “I did a two-year course when I was 16 and I spent success stories” technology. A lot of you are starting on Logic [software] so two happy years learning there and then I went straight you’re already way ahead of me. I’d be delighted to come into the catering industry.” back and share some tips about music sampling though.” You don’t have to be an old boy – or girl – and it Needless to say, Matt Hodson, the music production lecturer and course doesn’t have to be City College. You don’t have to be a super star, a millionaire leader, won’t need telling twice. He conducted the interview with Fatboy Slim or at the top of your trade to give something back. Of course, those who that occupied much of the duration. But the man behind the Big Beach Boutique achieve great things are usually welcomed and often have valuable insights to events also gave three tracks to play to a student and up and coming DJ Dan share. It is more important to understand what advantages, knowledge and Doyle – aka Care3Beats. And he hung around afterwards to pose patiently for tips we can pass on to those who follow us. And to work out how best we can pictures, sign autographs and speak to dozens of students individually. contribute to the mix.

LATEST INBOX The search is on for the best young performers Youth Music Theatre UK is once again launching a nationwide search for the best actors, singers, dancers, musicians and stage managers to join their company in 2012. Young performers can book their place for YMT’s audition and workshop tour by logging on to We’ll be coming to Brighton on 15 February 2012 and would love to see you at Brighton College, Eastern Road, BN2 0AL from 12.15 to 14:45pm or from 3.45 to 6.15pm.

After auditions have been held across the whole of the country, YMT allocate the most successful into one of seven new productions across the UK. Around 250 of the most talented are selected - this can be quite complicated but everyone will hear before the end of March 2012. Successful auditionees get the chance to work with some of the UK’s leading professional directors, composers and choreographers at some of the country’s most respected theatres and arts festivals. You’ll learn new skills, make new friends and take your first steps on a career in the performing arts. Visit now Youth Music Theatre UK, via email

> Have your say To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH

Walk for Guide Dogs for the Blind Following a successful inaugural event in 2011 that raised over £3,500 for Help For Heroes, this year’s walk, organised by the Rotary Club of Sovereign Harbour,

will be hoping to raise a minimum of £5,000 for Guide Dogs for the Blind. The walk will take place at midday on Sunday 22 April and follow a 5km route around the Waterfront and south harbour. The event is opened to walkers and their dogs. Registration costs £5 and can be completed online or by downloading the form from with walkers encouraged to raise further sponsorship towards Guide Dogs for the Blind. For more information and to view a map of the route go to Sovereign Harbour Rotary Club, via email

007_LS561_newsphilmills_council_editorial 20/01/2012 17:25 Page 3


Marina Life

latest brighton & hove news

Brighton Marina’s Kirsty Pollard says: “Get generous discounts with an Advantage Card!”

7 days of headlines with phil mills Changes to Preston Park, cold-caller lottery scam and council named most gay-friendly in the country


otorists will be mad, petitioners will be pleased – and cynics will be even more convinced councils are milking a cash cow. Brighton and Hove wants to stop Preston Park being used as a car park by commuters, shoppers, and other people leaving their cars while they go to work. It follows a 2,000-name petition demanding spaces be freed up for park users. The council would limit parking to The Gallop and The Ride, and exclude parking from other internal roads, and along the London Road side of the park. A six-hour time limit would prevent workers parking there all day. The council said: “New parking charges would cover the cost of enforcing the scheme – and charges will be kept to a minimum and will be ring-fenced to improvements to the park”. The maximum stay for on-street parking along parts of nearby Preston Park Avenue is from four to 11 hours to provide alternative parking for workers, residents and others. Charges inside the park would be from 50p for up to an hour to £3 for up to six hours. What do you think? Email Police get plenty of flak but their little acts of kindness often go unheralded: Brighton and Hove cops donated £200 to the Hove-based Off The Fence Trust which provides services to the most vulnerable and marginalised people in our community. Police Community Support Officer Nicola Johnson handed over the cheque. There was tragedy when a 35year-old Liverpudlian died as the

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Bill Randall on the Let Brighton Bid campaign


righton and Hove has a renowned digital and technology sector, with over 1,000 such companies – mostly small businesses – based here. Remarkably, this is the highest number per person than any other city in the UK. With our creative businesses, the sector is already growing three times faster than the national average and is delivering the majority of new local jobs. We have done well in providing the fertile ground for start-ups and established multinational

stolen car he was in collided with railings in Mill Road, Brighton. Two Brighton men were arrested on suspicion of causing death by dangerous driving. Witnesses should call Crimestoppers on 0800555111. And police are warning the elderly to watch out for callous cold callers who telephone announcing the householders have won a foreign lottery. Victims are asked to send callers money to ‘free up’ the winnings. One Sussex victim lost £1,800. Police said: “This is a worldwide scam and our advice is – if the call sounds too good to be true, then it is.” Meanwhile, media-conscious Hove MP Mike Weatherley has announced he’s asking the Government to allow Brighton and Hove, to be a ‘media hotspot’, to bid for ultra-fast broadband funding, following news that £100 million will be made available for broadband infrastructure around the country. The city council received an accolade when it was named the most gay-friendly local authority in the country from the pressure group Stonewall – the third time in the last four years. The council said activity on lesbian, gay, bisexual and companies alike. Much of the city’s success is down to the work of organisations such as Wired Sussex, which provides a network for training, advice, and mutual support for all involved in the sector. It’s important that we continue to support office space for very small businesses, and ‘hubs’ where they can collaborate with each other. The government announced last month that 14 cities across the UK are being targeted for a new £100m ‘ultra-fast’ broadband project. The infrastructure will allow residents to access the internet up to 40 times faster than standard broadband. This

transgender equalities issues remain a priority. Students from Patcham High School got an extra treat when they went to see Monty Python's Spamalot at Theatre Royal Brighton and ended up mingling with the cast. And at the newly refurbished Brighton Centre, skating star Robin Cousins, turned up to offer the Holiday On Ice team a few tips. Donations at the show will go to the Rockinghorse appeal.

There were celebrations at the Goldstone Retail Park as a new Pets at Home store was opened. It’s been welcomed to the area, especially at this time when jobs are hard to come by. Finally, it’s been sad seeing the 18th century Grade II Listed Patcham Place in London Road, Brighton, lying empty since 2007 – but good news is on the horizon. The council is about to sell a 125-year lease for a reported £1 million to turn the building into a business centre with rooms for community groups. What do you think of the new charges? would put us at the forefront of the UK digital industry. However, while our fellow digital clusters in Bristol and Manchester have been invited to take part, sadly Brighton and Hove has so far been excluded. It’s a great shame, and does our businesses a disservice. In response, Caroline Lucas MP has started a campaign to Let Brighton Bid. I put the question to Jeremy Hunt MP in a meeting, pointing out that Brighton and Hove has the credentials to be allowed to take part. The campaign has the backing of businesses, academics, and other politicians in the city. Brighton and Hove cannot be left in the slow lane, and we await with anticipation the government response. Tweet your support using the hashtag #LetBrightonBid.

2012 sees the return of the Brighton Marina Advantage Card following high demand and this year it's even bigger! The Advantage Card is valid for 12 months and provides members with 40 fantastic offers and subsequent savings at venues at Brighton Marina. This vibrant and spacious waterfront destination boasts shopping, dining, living, beauty and great leisure facilities all in one place – and customer parking couldn’t be easier!

Advantage Card holders will enjoy benefits such as ‘Buy One Get One Free’ at the Bowlplex, or 10 per cent off beauty treatments at Spa Tara, plus numerous discounts available at the restaurants and bars, including a 2-4-1 deal at Café Rouge, 20 per cent off at restaurants such as Frankie & Benny’s, Pizza Express and not forgetting the free hot sauce available from the famous Chilli Shop. Looking to buy a boat? Then make sure you take advantage of the 10 per cent discount available from Tandem Yachts. Over the last year, the Marina has had the alternative, interior design, gift shops and galleries open. So, if you’re looking for something for the home or a unique gift for a friend or loved one, you will find genuine and unusual products not available anywhere else in the city. The Advantage Card really can save you money so, whether you’re shopping or looking for a place to relax with friends, this number one waterfront destination has to be on your list of places to visit. Customer parking is free, access to the Marina is easy so make sure you apply for your 2012 card today. Simply go to the website Barbara Belford from Brighton used her 2011 Advantage Card and said: “It really made a difference…I took advantage of the discounts regularly and in these tough economic times it really does make a difference.” Kirsty Pollard, Brighton Marina’s Marketing and Events Manager ONE MILE EAST OF BRIGHTON PIER – NO 7 BUS SHOPS BOWLING CINEMA FITNESS HOTEL CASINO BARS RESTAURANTS SAIL FISH DIVE BOAT TRIPS

008_009_LS561_newsnewsdps_editorial 19/01/2012 13:36 Page 2


latest brighton & hove news

the bigissue

Chance of a lifetime

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN The time line is subject to planning permission being granted on Friday and approval being granted each step of the way by the Department of Health and the Treasury. Spring 2012 Preparation of temporary buildings, including a six-storey building bordering Eastern Road, begins. Work will also start on the air ambulance landing pad.

Duane Passman has spent years planning a new Royal Sussex. Now it’s D-day. Frank le Duc reports


ome opportunities come along once in a lifetime. One of those opportunities is coming along on Friday. Twelve councillors will decide whether to approve a £420 million plan to modernise the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton. The aim of the scheme is to replace pretty much the whole of the southern half of the site – the buildings facing Eastern Road. And to perch a helipad on top of the existing Thomas Kemp Tower, the building in which thousands of Brightonians have been born. If the plan is approved, bigger and better-equipped new buildings will go up. And the bulldozers will sweep away the pre-Victorian Barry Building, which dates from the 1820s. And the Jubilee Building, opened in 1887, will also be demolished. The interior of the much-loved and admired chapel will be preserved and included in one of the replacement buildings.


The plans are a vital part of what is known as the 3Ts project. This involves modernising the Royal Sussex as it becomes the regional centre of excellence for the 3Ts: • Teaching • Trauma • Tertiary care The teaching bit is fairly obvious. The hospital jointly runs the newest – and most popular – medical school in the country with Brighton and Sussex universities. Many patients’ first experience of trauma care is in A&E, although patients go to A&E with other problems. In layman’s terms, trauma usually involves broken bones or heavy bleeding or both. The bleeding may be internal and the trauma may involve serious head injuries. Car crashes and horse riding accidents are the most common causes. Tertiary care is led by specialist consultants serving a much wider area than Brighton and Hove. They treat, among others, patients with cancer, kidney disease, HIV, heart and neurological problems and some of the children at the new Royal Alex.

Duane Passman


Summer 2012 Services and staff affected by the construction of Stage 1 begin move to alternative locations, including the old St Mary’s Hall school buildings. Spring 2013 Stage 1 construction begins. This involves building an 11-storey three-fingered tower block.

While many of us have a fond regard for the Barry Building, it has been described as impractical, expensive to maintain and falling short of Spring 2017 widely accepted modern standards. Stage 1 is completed and ready Given the cramped nature of the for use. The Barry Building is Royal Sussex site, the Barry demolished. Construction of Building’s replacement will cover Stage 2 begins. The Stage 2 more ground and be five storeys tall. building is five storeys high. It will sit beside an 11-storey building with three “fingers” which Autumn 2020 will occupy much of the south Stage 2 is completed. eastern end of the Royal Sussex site. Both new buildings will sit over an Spring 2021 underground car park. A new service yard is created The possibility of moving has been and the entire redevelopment mooted from time to time. Land was is complete. even identified as suitable for hospital buildings – at Falmer – although it was for complementary facilities not a replacement. But plans to upgrade the current site have been the only serious proposals for the best part of 50 years.

008_009_LS561_newsnewsdps_editorial 19/01/2012 13:37 Page 3


Councillor Craig Turton is a Labour member of Brighton & Hove City Council. The hospital is in his East Brighton ward


f approved, the plans will have significant implications for residents in the area of the Royal Sussex County Hospital. For everyone else, the 3Ts hospital redevelopment will see the hospital transformed in terms of the architecture and the patient services provided. “Together with my fellow East Brighton councillors, I first met the trust to discuss these proposals in spring 2009. The concern we had was that local residents had to endure significant inconvenience and disruption during the building of the new Royal Alexandra Children’s Hospital including dust, noise, vibrations and contractors working outside agreed hours. Above all, residents had complained about a lack of information from the trust. “From discussions with the trust, it was agreed that a Hospital Liaison Group (HLG) should be established so that residents and members of conservation societies could meet regularly with the trust’s senior staff to have an open dialogue about the redevelopment plans. From November 2009, the HLG has met most months and since January 2010, when I was elected its chair, the agenda and issues discussed have been set by local residents rather than the trust. “The HLG has been successful in influencing some issues, particularly the design of the new buildings, but less so in other areas, eg, the proposed helipad which no resident wishes to see. The value for the trust in having the HLG is that they were able to test out architectural designs with residents and then modify them based upon what local people thought were acceptable – a definite advantage when presenting the final design to the council’s planning committee. “Obviously no design would please everyone, particularly a minority who wished to retain the façade of the Barry Building intact. However, the final design has been significantly influenced by the views of local residents and expertise of members of conservation societies and is far more acceptable visually than the completely unacceptable carbuncle originally proposed. “Perhaps the most contentious issue which faces local residents is construction and the location of a consolidation centre. This will effectively be a construction site from which building materials will be assembled and transported to the hospital site. The consolidation centre would be in place for the duration of the ten-year redevelopment and, as such, cannot be reasonably regarded as a “temporary” site. “The trust did identify Sheepcote Valley as a preferred location but are now considering locations outside Brighton and Hove. A development of this scale will involve some vehicles up to 40 tonnes using the consolidation centre and all will use Eastern Road at some point. This will create significant disruption for local residents and the local environment and may increase traffic congestion elsewhere in the city. “The exact route will depend upon the location of the consolidation centre which the trust has yet to identify. It will submit a planning application separate from the main 3Ts planning application. The view of the three East Brighton councillors is that there should be a single planning application incorporating the consolidation centre. “Obviously, such a move would cause delay to the trust’s timetable. However, a unified application would be more transparent to residents and end any uncertainty as to the location of the consolidation centre and construction route. “

Duane Passman, 48, who is leading the 3Ts project, said: “The expression of that was the Thomas Kemp Tower in 1969. The original plan was to have two more buildings like that, but given the economic circumstances of the time, they were canned.” Mr Passman has led seven similar projects before and noted: “This is the one that needs it the most. The Barry Building is the second oldest building in the NHS in-patient inventory. We keep it dry. We keep it clean. We do the very best we can with it. We spend a lot of money on it and the medical staff do the best they can in the circumstances.” He said that the wards occupied about 7,500 square metres whereas modern standards required about five times as much room.”



THE FIVE MAIN AIMS 1. Replace ageing buildings – The Barry Building opened nearly 200 years ago. The wards are cramped and will be replaced with modern facilities which are welcoming, accessible and purpose-built for the provision of 21st century healthcare. 2. Neurosciences – The Hurstwood Park Regional Centre for Neurosciences is being relocated from the Princess Royal Hospital in Haywards Heath to Brighton. This will place neurosciences alongside other key emergency services, enabling the Royal Sussex to be the major trauma centre for Sussex and the South East. It will ensure more co-ordinated treatment, on one site, for the most seriously ill and injured patients.

Mr Passman continued: “First and foremost we are the district general hospital for Brighton and Hove. That’s where we come from and that’s the most important part 3. Sussex Cancer Centre – of the development proposals.” Although the centre includes But, he added, there were solid some relatively new buildings, evidence-based reasons for growing demand means that it bringing services such as needs to expand. It will include neurosciences from Haywards a new chemotherapy day unit, Heath to the Royal Sussex site. a bigger radiotherapy service He said: “If you’re going to get and new cancer wards which the best possible outcomes for will be able to take twice as patients, you need all those many patients. services under one roof. So when someone’s had a really bad 4. Major Trauma Centre – accident or is seriously ill you’ve The modern new buildings and got all the right people in the same the incorporation of place.” At the moment about a neurosciences will enable the quarter of major trauma patients Royal Sussex to be the major have to be sent to London or trauma centre for the region. Southampton for treatment. They This will save hundreds of have the nearest hospitals with all patients a year – and their the relevant specialists – to treat families, friends and carers – injuries to the head and body – from having to go to London. under one roof. Despite his expertise Mr 5. Brighton and Sussex Passman said: “It’s a very Medical School complicated and challenging task. – The new buildings will also We’re trying to make sure the include state-of-the-art clinical objectives are met as well teaching, training and research as the planning objectives of facilities for Brighton and Sussex national planning policy and local Medical School and provide planning policy. We’re trying to better links between teaching, meet these objectives with the research and treatment. shape and the form of the buildings. We’ve designed them from the inside out and the outside in. We’re trying to get the inside right and be mindful of the exterior and the common reference points. We’ve been very mindful and respectful of the comments we’ve received. We’ve tried to be clear about what we can do and can’t do.” Design changes had been made as a result of people’s comments, including moving the helipad from the new 11-storey building to the top of the Thomas Kemp Tower. And the operating guidance would reflect neighbours’ concerns about noise. He said: “People have lived in the locality for many years and change can be very difficult. We’ve tried to be sensitive.” He had challenged the team behind the new Royal Alex – a building that has won 70 national and international design awards – to exceed themselves, adding: “We want something as good as that if not better.” Apart from saving more lives and enabling a better quality of life for those who have been treated, the project will bring more jobs to Brighton. Hundreds of jobs will be created during the ten-year construction process, many of them local. And more medical and support staff will work at the modernised hospital. Mr Passman pointed out: “It sounds like a cliché but it really is a once in a generation opportunity we’ve got. It’s subject to the planning committee but we’ve got the business case. The climate is right. We’ve spent quite a lot of time making sure there’s buy-in for this – not just at the local level but at national level too. If it doesn’t happen, it will be 20 years before we get another opportunity like this.” n

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latest brighton & hove news



The Imperial War Museum

Out of darkness

Around 1,200 people responded to consultation carried out at the end of 2011 on how to improve the area around Brighton Station. In the findings 78.7 per cent said they came to the station on foot, despite the poor quality of pedestrian facilities and 73.7 per cent said they supported rerouting private vehicles away from the southern station entrance. A small majority (42.5 per cent) asked for buses to be concentrated outside the southern station entrance, with 30.2 per cent preferring buses both there and in Queens Road. Councillor Ian Davey, cabinet member for transport and the public realm, will consider the responses at the next environment, transport and sustainability cabinet on 24 January. He said: “We know from what people tell us that Brighton Station does not work well as a fitting welcome to the city, as a public space or as a transport interchange.” If agreed at the meeting, draft design options will be drawn up and exhibited in the spring. Work is expected to start on site in 2013 and will complement improvements being carried out by Southern Rail inside the station.

Marion Blumenthal Lazan will be in Brighton to share her story of life in a concentration camp. Frank le Duc finds out more


t is difficult to imagine the hardships endured AN ARTIST REMEMBERED by Marion Blumenthal Lazan. She and her The Centre for German-Jewish Studies at Sussex also family were trying to flee Hitler in 1938 when honours an artist who settled in Hove after enduring their ship to America was bombed and they were the horrors of a slave labour camp under the Nazis. It trapped in Rotterdam. They spent the next six and houses a substantial collection of work by Arnold a half years in Nazi prison camps including Daghani. He was already in his sixties when he came Bergen-Belsen. Her story is an incredible tale of to Hove in the 1970s. Daghani was born in 1909 in near escapes, dashed hopes and tragedy. Suceava or Suczawa. The town is now in Romania but Yet the way she tells it, her was then on the eastern border of story is also an inspiring tale the Austro-Hungarian Empire. of hope, courage and survival. “You are the very In 1942 he was deported to a On Thursday she is due to tell slave labour camp in Mikhailowka, last generation that in Ukraine. sixth formers at Varndean A little over a year later College in Surrenden Road, he managed to escape – just will hear the story Brighton, about the joy of months before the camp was tasting freedom. It was quickly first hand. Please liquidated. Everyone in the camp followed by the pain of losing was killed except Daghani and his her father to typhus. She faced share my story” wife Nanino. He had been allowed three more years of struggle out to paint the commandant. His before she and her mother and brother boarded a story was published in English as The Grave is in ship to America. the Cherry Orchard in 1961. Daghani died in 1985. On Friday interfaith minister Felice Rhiannon is THE LAST GENERATION holding a memorial service at the Friends Meeting Now Marion, 77, tells young people around the House in Ship Street, Brighton, at 7pm. She said: world: “You, the students, are the very last “There will be readings. There will be time for silent generation that will hear the story first hand. I contemplation. There will also be time for some therefore ask you to please, please, share my sharing in and among the congregation.” She said story with your friends and with your family and that while she had a Jewish background, everyone someday with your children.” was welcome. The memorial event would remember She will also be sharing her story with Sussex the Jewish experience as well as the effect of the University students and staff as well as members of Holocaust on many others. the public on Wednesday 25 January. The university’s Centre for German-Jewish Studies is THE THIRD SEX EXHIBITION hosting a “Speak Up Speak Out” Holocaust Memorial Another event to commemorate the Holocaust is an Day event starting at 1.30pm. The free event is exhibition that opened Monday 23 January at the taking place in the Chowen Lecture Theatre at Jubilee Library in Brighton. The Third Sex In The Third Brighton and Sussex Medical School on the Brighton Reich traces how the Nazis changed the world for University campus at Falmer. It has been sponsored male and female homosexuals and transvestites, by the Association of Jewish Refugees. from the beginning of their rule to well beyond the The event will include a screening of the film of end. The exhibition includes poems written by Marion’s memoir, Four Perfect Pebbles. And Rabbi younger lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Julia Neuberger will give a lecture entitled (LGBT) people with the help of Queer Writing South. Holocaust Remembrance and why it is important for Their work was inspired by the famous poem First everyone. The event has been organised two days they came... by German pastor Martin Niemoller. The before Holocaust Memorial Day on Friday. exhibition runs until next Monday (30 January). n


Brighton & Hove City Council’s Register Office is revamping appointment times to make the busy service easier to access. The city is a popular wedding destination with venues attracting happy couples from near and far to tie the knot by the sea. In 2011, Brighton and Hove registrars conducted more than 1,100 marriages and more than 200 civil partnerships. The Register Office is active throughout the year, with the traditional busy wedding season now stretching from April to October. At present, appointments for pre-ceremony meetings run from 9.30am to 4.30pm Monday to Friday. Many couples ask for a wider range of options to fit in with work and other commitments. The Register Office has responded with plans for additional premium appointments available earlier and later in the day, as well as weekend options. To make an appointment to enter a notice of marriage or civil partnership and for enquiries about ceremonies call: 01273 294421.

n THUMBS UP TO COMMUNAL RECYCLING Residents in the Brunswick and Adelaide area of Brighton and Hove have given a massive thumbs up to communal recycling. Following a recent consultation, 87 per cent of residents said they were willing to take part in the city’s first communal recycling trial. The aim of the scheme, which could begin in April, is to make it easier for people to recycle and improve recycling rates in the area. Brunswick and Adelaide wards have a large number of flats, where residents have little space to store recycling boxes. Communal recycling bins will be introduced in the area bordered by, and including Holland Road, Lansdowne Road, Western Road and Norfolk Road and south of Western Road from Brunswick Square East to Western Street/Norfolk Square. At present these streets receive a weekly recycling collection service. Councillor Pete West has been asked to give the trial the go ahead and will make his decision at an Environment Cabinet meeting on 24 January.

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013_LS561_Language Schools__food 20/01/2012 15:58 Page 1


A home from home Being a host family in Brighton & Hove can lead to a fuller & richer life. Latest 7 finds out how


righton and Hove is an enticing prospect for international students. A buzzing, cosmopolitan city where everything you need is right on your doorstep; who would want to live and study anywhere else? As a result, the city has a thriving academic scene, with two successful universities: Brighton University and the University of Sussex; City College Brighton and Hove; and a number of language schools including the English Language Centre and Regent Brighton attracting international students with the fantastic courses offered. Students come here to live, learn and play. Why they are drawn to Brighton and Hove is a simple equation: great education, a fantastic location (convenient for London’s top airports) and a friendly city too. As a result, homestay is a popular choice for students. Host families are always in demand to help teach, support and offer a safe living environment to international students. The UK Homestay Code of Practice (see right) must be adhered to, so if you are thinking about playing host to a student studying in Brighton, do so if you know the code can be followed. Regent Brighton has been teaching English to foreign students for almost 50 years. They know that the homestay is a vital part of a student’s cultural experience and provides a perfect opportunity to practise English.


Being a host family is about welcoming the student into your home and making them part of your family. Offering accommodation to students is a rewarding, enriching experience for both student and family. Hosts often find they make lifelong friends with their students. It is also a great way to put some money aside for next Christmas or upcoming holidays.  The English Language Centre (ELC) is one of the longest established language schools in Brighton and Hove, celebrating 50 years in 2012. A notfor-profit educational charity, ELC Brighton welcomes a large number of international students annually. Whether they are studying to improve their English for university or for business, the majority choose to stay with a local host family. By living in a homestay, in addition to practising their English, the students learn about every day life in Britain. The English Language Centre, 33 Palmeira Mansions, Brighton, BN3 2GB, 01273 721771, Regent Brighton, 18 Cromwell Road, Hove, BN3 3EW, 01273 731684 www,

English UK’s Homestay Code of Practice • Encourage the student to speak English as much as possible in your home. • Encourage the student to feel at home treating him/her as a family member. • Do not host another student of the same native language at the same time unless by special arrangement with the students and the schools/centres. • Provide a clean and comfortable student room, meeting the requirements laid down by the British Council. • Provide a home environment in which the student can carry on his/her English Studies properly. • Provide the student with a balanced and appropriate diet. • Show due concern for the welfare, safety and security of the student. • Give the student reasonable/regular access to bathroom/laundry facilities. • Maintain a close liaison with the student’s school/centre. • Respect the student’s cultural background, being sensitive to his/her needs. Source:

Host a foreign student in your home. Regent Brighton needs caring hosts for international adult students. Competitive rates paid for bed, breakfast and dinner. Special rates for rooms with en-suite facilities also available. For more information please call Jackie at Regent Brighton on: 01273 731684 or email us at: Alternatively, call in and see us at: Regent Brighton, 18 Cromwell Road, Hove BN3 3EW

Established in 1962

Homestay Accommodation Required We have a very wide range of adult students (16+) who all need English for their futures whether it be for travel, for their career or to enable them to study at a UK university. • Average age 20 to 28 • Some students study for 2 weeks, others up to 9 months • Various nationalities from Europe, the Far East, Middle East and South America Our aim is to provide excellent teaching in a caring and friendly environment so that every student can derive the maximum benefit from their course, their accommodation and their stay in Brighton & Hove. If you are interested in hosting a student & would like more information, please contact Andrea on 01273 716 282 or

014_015_LS561_albiondps_editorial 20/01/2012 15:55 Page 2



latest SEAGULLS Up the Albion!

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Mark Brailsford is up for revenge

The FA Women’s Cup 3rd Round is approaching


us Poyet deserves some sympathy, he is having more than his fair share of bad luck with all the injured players piling up on the physio’s table. The players probably have to take their turn on the table in shifts. Perhaps they have a Dick’s Bar steward managing the queue of the wounded with a hearty; ‘Sorry lads, one in one out’ as the creaking physio’s table groans under the strain of yet another rub down for a wounded winger. There is no disguising Gus’s frustrations. In the game against Bristol City when first Craig Mackail-Smith then Jake ForsterCaskey left the field, the exasperated Albion manager turned to the West Stand, raised his arms aloft and shouted. For those that couldn’t hear him, the choice words are not repeatable here. Heavy watering of the pitch before each match and at half “For those that time too in a bid to soften the surface makes sense. It doesn’t couldn’t hear him, the seem to be a problem of the top soil, it seems the turf rests on a choice words are not shallow bed of earth and sand beneath a much harder base. repeatable here” The danger of going on about the pitch of course, is that the players will start to see demons where there are none, but it’s impossible to ignore the fact that there is an issue with injuries and addressing it in the close season must now be a priority for the club. Some interesting ideas have been mooted to solve the problem. Some of you living in Brighton will be aware of the ‘Worm Bin Man’. He is the man who comes to collect the food waste from our discarded food bin, courtesy of Brighton and Hove Council, which is then used to cultivate worms. Now worms, as the keen gardeners amongst you will know, are essential for maintaining a healthy soil and can irrigate and soften the ground as well as fertilise it. So, perhaps the club should join in with Brighton and Hove City Council’s wonderful worm bin project and deposit a ton or two of squirming nematode’s onto the pitch to soften it up? It’s a great green initiative and who knows, it might even work. They could be the best transfer window signings ever. Just a thought.

Brighton & Hove Albion men’s team have progressed to the fourth round of The FA Cup, meeting Premier League side Newcastle this Saturday (28 January). Following closely in their footsteps is the Brighton & Hove Albion Women’s Football Club, who have progressed to the third round of The FA Women’s Cup. The ‘Sea-gals’ face South West Combination League side Havent & Waterlooville who beat Premier League opponents Plymouth in the last round. The match takes place on Sunday 5 February 2012. Meanwhile, in the AFA Regional Fixture Programme, Brighton & Hove Albion’s Centre Of Excellence

(COE) U13’s, U15’s and U17’s face Chelsea in a friendly, away, on Saturday 25 February. The club’s COE is a great starting ground for youngsters wanting to play football professionally. BHA’s COE is one of only 30 FA accredited programmes in the country. Graduates of the Girls' Centre of Excellence are offered a pathway into further education through an Academy Programme provided by Worthing College. Training and competition provided within the Academy allows members of the U17’s to build their knowledge of the game through increased training hours. Coming up for Brighton & Hove Women’s Football Club: Women’s League Cup: Charlton Athletic (A), Sunday 29 January. FA Women’s Cup, Third Round: Havant & Waterlooville, Sunday 5 February. Photo: Paul Hazlewood

Photo: Paul Hazlewood

blast from the past Albion Vs Palace So, the lucky few who have tickets are girding their loins for what is surely the biggest game of the season so far since, well... the last game against Crystal Palace. But revenge is due and pride can be restored with a good result at Selhurst Park. A hero of the Albion’s 1-0 win there a few years back is currently on loan at Palace. Paul McShane who wore the Albion’s colours that wonderful day will be wearing the Eagle instead of the Seagull in the game. With Glenn Murray probably starting for Palace, we won’t know who to boo first. Joking aside, I am sure that nearly all the Albion fans going will give the players the most full throated roar of support they can give, which will make for a very spicy atmosphere. Freedman is doing a good job there and it’s going to be a tough game, just how it should be. I prediction a 3-3 draw; all penalties. Come on lads, we’ll talk about you for years if you win this one.

Stewart Weir looks back at the history of fouls


m wondering if Gus Poyet knew that in 1280AD a ball was kicked in Ulgham, Northumberland and one of the players was killed as a result of running into another player’s dagger? Football used to be nothing more than a mass brawl, frenzy that left a trail of battered and bleeding bodies. It’s claimed that, on one occasion before there were FA rules, 40 players drowned in a pond at Pontl’Abbé in Normandy.

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SPORT 15 Photo: Paul Hazlewood

Will Jago talks to Albion keeper Peter Brezovan ahead of FA Cup Fourth Round Peter Brezovan has backed himself to keep the Albion goalkeeper’s jersey despite the arrival of Colombian stopper David Gonzalez and competition from Casper Ankergren. The Slovakian put in an impressive performance against Wrexham last night, keeping the scores level during the game and pulling off the only save in the penalty shoot-out, ensuring Albion host Newcastle United in the fourth round. He told “I don't feel under pressure in the penalty situation because it's up to the taker to score the goal. I don't really have anything to lose so they have all the pressure. "It was a cup game so it wasn't about entertaining; it was all about getting the result. We didn't play that well but I'm just glad that we won. I had some information about one of the Wrexham penalty

Photo: Paul Hazlewood


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takers and I saved his penalty, so it worked out well in the end. “I’m in the team and it's down to me to keep playing well, and if I do that hopefully I will stay in the team regardless of who has been signed. I know it's in my hands so I will try to do my best and I do trust my ability. “I’ve enjoyed being back in the team and it’s been a big few weeks because I'm a dad now too. Now I have a little boy it makes me realise what is really important in my life.” The Seagulls will welcome the Toon Army to the Amex on Saturday 28 January, for a fixture that will be broadcast live on ESPN, but Brezovan has talked down the game. “For me it will not be massive, it will just be another game of football. If I think about it too much it will put lots more pressure on my shoulders and that is what I don't want. “I will take it as another game and it’s one for the fans. Newcastle are a very good side and in the top division so it’s going to be another big day for our supporters.” For similar articles and all the latest BHA Club news: Coming up: FA Cup 4th Round BHAFC vs Newcastle (H), Saturday 28 January FLC: BHAFC vs Crystal Palace (A), Tuesday 31 January

“The ball that you think is the easiest and the least dangerous in a football game is the one that makes you lose the game” – Gus Poyet For some reason daggers are banned from the pitch today as is kicking, punching, swearing and even fouling. The Albion whilst occupying mid table obscurity haven’t been slow in making their presence known to the other side. Already this season the team has had more red and yellow cards than the whole of the last season. Nothing wrong with a team having a hard edge though. It didn’t do Leeds United any harm in the ‘70s, did it?

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Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

I think the opening ceremony should consist of the people who designed the ‘2012’ logo being strung up. That would put the crowd in a fantastic mood for the games. Mike Harwood, Brighton

Yes! It’s 2012 and in a few short months it’ll be time for the olympics – the event that will finally put London on the map after all these years. We asked our readers what they thought of it all and have printed the more legible replies below.

I had an Olympic village accommodation centre built over my house, squashing it flat, and am now living in a cardboard box under a railway bridge. Nevertheless I am as enthusiastic about the Olympic Games as ever! Hooray for Britain!!! Simon Colon, Portslade

Have your say Personally I can’t wait for the opening ceremony orchestrated by Danny Boyle and Stephen Daldry, surely the two most talented men in Britain. I predict it will all go brilliantly, and in no way whatsoever be a damp squib or a failure due to the UK’s unswerving inability to organise even the smallest knees up in a brewery without the whole thing collapsing about everybody's ears. Hooray for Britain! S. Traven, Hove As we are hosting the games, providing accommodation and so on, I think it would be only fair and polite if all the other nations were to wear a slight physical handicap, say a 200lb bag of shot strapped between the shoulders and a small concrete block

WHAT WAS THAT? attached to each leg. Come on other nations – show some sporting spirit! Tony Crisp, Portslade I think the best thing about the Olympics is those fantastic mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville. They’ve been a real hit, haven't they? My two year old loves them, although he has started having extremely bad nightmares since I bought him the cuddly toys of them, but I’m sure that's a coincidence. Hooray for Britain! Linda Torquemada, Aldrington

Can’t remember the name of a film, book, or similar? Mike Hunter is the man with the answers. Dear Mike, Bit of a tricky one for you here I’m afraid. I was having a drink in my local hostelry the other night with some close friends and talk turned to a movie star we remembered. The man in question was a tough, grizzled figure who appeared in many films in the '70s and I believe is still working today. He was particularly noted for his cowboy flicks, in which he tended to play a handsome, batted loner, often unshaven and puffing on a cheroot and wearing a poncho.


In • I Am Curious (Yellow) • Last Tango in Paris • W.R.: Mysteries of the Organism • Emmanuelle • The Pawnbroker

Out • Flesh Gordon • Emmanuelle 2 • Caligula • Come Play With Me • Rosie Dixon: Night Nurse



In these days of political corruption, crime, drugs and despair, it’s nice to have something like the Olympics to look forward to, because there's never anything controversial about the Olympics. And it’s not like anyone involved with the Olympics takes drugs. Oh no. Sandra Pascoe, Hove

In & Out


016_LS561_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 20/01/2012 10:46 Page 2

I believe he also made a name for himself playing a uncompromising policeman – with very much a nonprogressive view on law and order. Unfortunately not one-man-jack of us could remember the fellow's name. Mind you, we had been sipping a fair few pints. Please can you put me out of my misery so I can put my friends out of theirs. Thanks very much, Derek Pye, Peacehaven Dear Derek, Well, I’m pleased to be able to ‘make your day’ and reveal that the rough, tough hombre you recall so well was, of course, the man with no name himself, Tom Courtenay. Mike XXX

Photos: MCP

Mad Matt Matt Whistler has fun with robots


histle and flute perpendiculars placed to perfection, specs cleaned and shoes slipped on with vigor, I was ready to slam my front door and waltz up to Regency Square to the saucy punkrockacidhouseabily Brighton seafront rock ‘n’ roll hotel – Hotel Pelirocco. With 19 themed hotel rooms, HP is guaranteed to tickle those quirky taste buds of any pleasure seeker looking to try something new. My new girlfriend and I were looking forward to a saucy weekend. She is called ATM and is a 3D robot – an up-cycled creation made from art on canvas that dispenses coffee and performs super-heroine tasks. ATM and I checked in and received a friendly greeting and

our room called the Play Room suite made me want to make some shapes and shower ATM with real Champagne. ATM paused on the round bed under the round mirrored ceiling and her dot matrix printer started spewing out words like ‘Pelirocco, oooooh yeah, Pelirocco... show me some downtime, show me some decadence, show me some pop subculture, retrograde futurism’. We pole danced into the early hours and fell into the plunge bath together. ATM ate my delicious

looking eggs Benedict breakfast behind my back, and laser beamed me into the air, to spin me round like a clown’s plate, so I removed one of her circuit boards and carried her back to the house under my arm along Brighton beach. HP marks out of ten...

hmmm! Definitely 11. I will be exhibiting my robots at HP from 1pm, Saturday 18 February. If you come, come in peace. Read Matt’s full blog at mattwhistlerbrighton

017_LS561_cityspeak_Editorial 20/01/2012 13:33 Page 1


Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw hails the return of her routine


he new year is well and truly I read somewhere that the Brits under way. With a birthday on are the world’s most enthusiastic 23 December, closely followed card senders. Apparently we use by Christmas and then New Year, any excuse to send a greetings the passing of yet another 12 card – divorce, adoption, a new months for me is always much kitchen, coming out of clink. I too heavily underlined. How can one suppose there are worse things pin them down and make them go to excel at. just a bit slower? It scares me a Actually I have a naughty little more every time. admission to make. I did not Still, I am such a lover of habit put up any decorations at all and routine that I am always this year, but before everyone pleased when things return to starts shouting “scrooge!” and normal. This is rather sad I realise, “skinflint!” I must explain that but I like knowing exactly when the my decorator who was painting bin men (sorry – waste the spare bedroom disposal operatives ) and the workmen, who “The poor are coming again and were damp proofing when the post is likely half of my sitting girl looked to arrive. I am so room, did not leave pleased when I can until nearly Christmas so terrified I stuff all the tacky Eve. I had been tinsel and fading didn’t pursue cleaning up dust for fairies back into the days and did not feel the question” festive enough for drawer in the divan bed, and pack up all paper chains. the cards – birthday However, I can ones as well – and shove them into definitely state that the room in the M and S recycling sack. I asked the roof which was added last a young assistant one year what year has been a great success. actually happens to all these And I am so glad I stood by my beautiful pictures and glossy opinion and did not include an calendars. Are they sent to crèches extra bathroom. The new large or Africa maybe? (Well, it’s not such room is beautifully bright a daft idea. I took a load out to and airy and just right for Kenya one year and they were meditation and yoga. If the overjoyed at receiving them.) The meditation doesn’t work I can poor girl looked blank and then so always open a velux and surprise terrified that I did not pursue the the seagulls by shouting at them question any further. on their level.


Teen Spirit Tasha Dhanraj contrasts and compares a cat’s life


y cat, Buffy, just had one of in the week I saw him staring down his eyes removed. After the toilet as if wondering whether months of antibiotics to that could be an escape chute. deal with an injury and infection I have been working at home for that appeared to be completely months now and my inability to destroying it, we resigned to the motivate myself to leave the house fact that he needed an operation to has been astounding. Meanwhile, have it removed. He is now a my pirate cat has just undergone a cyclops kitty, or a pirate cat – serious operation and is scratching whichever you prefer. Due to this, at the walls trying to be outside. we’ve been given strict He’s been so desperate to go instructions to keep him in the outside that he’s started “playfully” house for a few weeks. This has hunting our other cats. given us a bond deeper than the How has a cat got a better life usual friendship seen between cat ethic than me? and owner. Am I lazy or am I As I work from just human? I’ve home, we now spend a hermit. “How has a cat become all day together. I It’s even showing in don’t think Buffy I’ve been got a better life what quite appreciates the choosing to do with exploration into the time. I’ve started ethic than me?” my depths of human baking. I’ve started emotion that is just allowing communicated instructions from through The Jeremy Kyle Show, but other people in cookbooks to for the most part he is happy to dictate what I do, instead of just sit there and watch it... actually doing something creative. although there was one episode in Or maybe, I’m just doing what which a woman cheated on her anyone would do. People long for husband, which he clearly found so days to just slouch on the sofa. abhorrent he felt the need to leave Maybe I’m in fact living the dream the room. by my entire life becoming an The main difference between extended advert for slankets. Buffy and I is that he is desperate As much as I try to convince to leave the house. Whenever a myself that I find my life fulfilling window is ajar a few inches, he through watching the reruns of tries to push his head through. The Gilmore Girls every day, I can’t Whenever a door is opened, he escape the feeling that my cats are makes a bolt for it. I swear, earlier having more fun than me.

some Aegean backwater, the last ferry’s just left, and neither of you can remember if Greece is still clinging on to the Eurozone or has reverted to the Drachma. Achieving balance is all-important. “Well I’ve googled ‘Does anyone straight go to Mykonos?’” says K, on the phone, “And the good news is they do and they’re young, loud, drunk teenagers Will Harris searches for a companion on the road from other parts of Europe.” “Yay!” I say. “I’m so pleased you’re up for it.” K, as you’ve probably guessed, is my ‘ideal here are several distinct advantages to being travelling companion’. I know this because three in a relationship. Shared rent, regular hanky summers ago we shared seven blissful days under panky, not to mention – if you bat for my team the Balearic sun (free of charge, thanks to K’s – you need never buy a pair of socks again, but can burgeoning domination of Fleet Street), and there just leach off your other half’s sock drawer like a wasn’t a single cross word between us. Not one. vampire with a foot fetish. More to the point, you Even the day I fell off my hire bike, had a tantrum also have someone you can go on holiday with. and ran off into a vineyard, she just waited When you’re single, and too knackered to patiently for me to return, handed back my bike, endure one of those ‘four to a bed, out ‘til six, up at then suggested we stop off somewhere for an ice noon and carry on drinking’ affairs that typified cream. It just worked. our younger days, the prospect of planning a week It wasn’t until the final day of that holiday, away can be fraught with self-doubt. Which of your during a blow-out buffet of Caligulan proportions, friends should you ask? Who among them has a that both of us confessed we’d had misgivings similar outlook, interests, a roughly equivalent about the trip prior to coming. We’d been friends income? And, if they do say no, what does that for a number of years, but there was something mean for your friendship? binding about going on holiday together; we knew “I fell off my hire bike, had Because, as much as we love our friends, we that – if for whatever reason we didn’t get on – know only a select few of them can also be packed a tantrum and ran off into there would be no escape for the next week. into that slim mental suitcase marked ‘ideal Fortunately for the continuation of our friendship, a vineyard” travelling companion’. You might think you want it was on holiday that we discovered a shared someone who won’t judge you for stumbling into interest: letching over the adolescent sons of our the hotel room at 3am with Pina Colada on your fellow holidaymakers. Roll on Mykonos! breath and a pilfered deckchair under your arm, but what you actually need follow me on twitter latestwill is someone who can also hold their shizz together when you’re stranded in

William Tells


018_LS561_snapshots-comps _Editorial 20/01/2012 12:30 Page 2


Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: songwriter Paul Steel

I wanted to make a kind of stream of consciousness pop record that could get really far-out and also accessible and enjoyable to listen to. The track ‘Why X5’ is probably the most rock/metal thing I’ve ever done. ‘Saturday Night In Alcatraz’ is about Capone era, Alcatraz prison in an alternate universe where it is compulsory to attend disco dancing classes every Saturday night, before prisoners head back to their cells. The last track, ‘Roll Up My Sleaze’, is about the small town attitude I grew up with.

One of Brighton’s most exciting musical talents, songwriter and producer Paul Steel. After his popular record ‘Your loss’ – which came along three years ago with one of the most original videos around – and his two albums April and I and Moon Rock, Paul spent a few years working on several collaborations. He is now back producing his own music, a new project called ‘LL Cosmonaut’ and released an EP just before Christmas which is available at There are also a couple of the songs available for free download at Paul will be performing his new songs at the Prince Albert in Brighton on 16 February.



Drive, starring Ryan Gosling and Carey Mulligan, will be released 30 January, courtesy of Icon Home Entertainment, on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital Download. Ryan Gosling plays a Hollywood stunt driver, driving for movie productions by day and steering getaway vehicles for armed heists at night. After a job spins out of control, Driver finds himself as a target for some of LA’s most dangerous men. The only way he can keep himself, neighbour Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her son alive is to do what he does best – drive! Also starring Golden Globe winner Ron Perlman and Emmy nominee and Mad Men star Christina Hendricks. We have three copies of this cool crime thriller on DVD to give away. Q Who is Carey Mulligan engaged to?


Based on the Belgian comic and novel series by Philippe Francq and Jean Van Hamme, The Burma Conspiracy is the second film in the Largo Winch series, out to own on DVD 23 January, courtesy of Studio Canal. After the murder of his adoptive father, Largo Winch (Tomer Sisley) is made CEO of the W Group. On the day he announces his intention to sell his corporation and create a humanitarian foundation, he is accused of crimes against humanity. Cue international prosecutor Diane Franken (Sharon Stone) on the case. We have five copies of this exciting film to give away. Q Which seductive film did Sharon Stone star in?


Produced in association with Harley-Davidson, American Anthems is a musical based around the search for legendary rock star Rocky Rhodes who

disappeared in the early ’90s at the height of his fame. Centering around Route 66, the show features iconic American music artists such as Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Eagles and Bryan Adams. John Parr, who had a number one hit with’ St Elmo’s Fire’ appears as the guest star. We have a pair of tickets to give away for the show on 8 February at the Assembly Halls, Tunbridge Wells. Q Which American rock band released a single called ‘Hotel California’ in 1977?



with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 6 February 2012.

019_LS561_celebcity_Celebcity 20/01/2012 10:53 Page 1



New boy band Lawson, Dancing On Ice judge Robin Cousins, Cover Drive & Little Mix in town

The next big thing L

ast week the queue for The Haunt’s live music showcase was off the hook as the hottest up-and-coming boy band of the moment took to the stage. Lawson, who’s drummer Adam Pitts hails from Brighton, interestingly named themselves after a surgeon who performed a life-saving operation on their singer/songwriter, Andy, and since this epiphany it seems the band have gone from strength to strength. Fresh from supporting Avril Lavigne and Will Young on their UK tours, with their ‘robustly melodic guitarpop anthems’, Lawson will next be seen in Brighton supporting The Wanted on their arena tour starting in Feb. If you fancy catching the guys before they hit the big time, be sure to get your hands on some tickets for The Wanted’s gig at The Brighton Centre on 20 February. Keep an ear out for their debut single rumoured to be coming out in the spring. Check them out at and and


ITV Pictures

Celebcity with Jo Brooks


Friday 13 January saw the UK premiere of the annual blade runner extravaganza that is Holiday on Ice. This year’s offering, Tropicana, was choreographed by my old mate and Brighton resident Robin Cousins. Robin took time out from being head judge of ITV1’s hit show Dancing On Ice, to personally host the opening night – he even put his skates back on while taking the mike! The show was gloriously spectacular, with all its usually glitz, glamour, outlandish costumes and with a soundtrack solely by musical legend Barry Manilow – it really hit the skating spot. Tropicana runs at the Brighton Centre until 29 January. See also Latest People, p4.



star East Is Eaastrwa M il m E ng walking alo d, London Roa Brighton.



Katie Price the window gazing into of Health & Be The Lanes au she scoutin ty – was g next treatmout her ent?

LITTLE MIX-ING IT UP It seems their beef with the Brighton-based charity Rhythmix hasn’t put Tulisa’s ‘little muffins’ off the city forever. X Factor winners Little Mix have decided to relocate to the seaside in order to record their debut album in preparation for the first tour – beginning in February. Jesy Nelson of the band said that she had already taken well to the city, taking to jogging along the front each morning as part of her exercise routine – might we possibly see her in this year’s marathon?!

Have you spotted a celeb in the city?

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to

follow me on twitter


10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday until 31st January 2012 excluding bank holidays.  Only one voucher per table.  Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

020_LS561_interview_011_LS466_interview 20/01/2012 13:20 Page 2

20 L7 INTERVIEW What really makes you laugh? “What really makes me laugh? Erm, most of what really makes me laugh these days comes off of Twitter I think (laughs). There’s an astonishing amount of wit flowing about on that thing. A lot of that really makes me laugh.” Who do you follow? “I think Caitlin Moran is quite the funniest person in Britain. Grace Dent – absolutely hilarious. David Arnold, the composer, did loads of Bond stuff and Sherlock and things like that. He’s hilarious. There’s just loads of them. Loads of people knocking about on Twitter who are just fantastically funny and post funny things. I absolutely love sitting and watching the X Factor and tweeting through it and watching those people tweet [laughs]. It’s like being in the pub with your mates. It’s hilarious.”


Looking through your CV, you’ve done so many things: author, stand up, actor, TV host, sitcom writer, newspaper writer... “It’s really weird when you list them off like that. Really weird, [laughs] because I have technically done all of those things.”

Is it a creative adventure? “Well, it is that. You know, a lot of it is about handstands and luck and timing and you know, weird things like that. “I hadn’t gone, ‘right this is brilliant’ – what I do is position myself further, or I need to get into Chris Addison is a regular on Mock The Week, the awardacting. I just fell into stand-up comedy, I fell into on the back of stand-up comedy and winning political satire The Thick Of It, teen sensation Skins, acting everything has been led from stand up. And for somebody who never had a kind of specific goal those insurance adverts – and now he’s back to his day job or ambition, it’s meant that when people ask me of stand up. Victoria Nangle finds out more interesting questions like, ‘Would you fancy having a go at this? I can go, ‘Ooh yeah, alright then. I’ve got nothing else on. Alright, lovely, I’ll do that’. And there’s something quite...after years Your show, ‘The Time Is Now Again’, is it a political you look back over that financial column, you’ll and years on the stand up circuit, something call to arms referencing your success with ‘In find practically nothing that is actually anything really appealing about somebody going; ‘here – The Loop’, or a rally that you’re performing realistically to do with money, you know, beyond a here’s a job that’s going to last six weeks’. ‘Oh, stand-up perhaps? regular person’s point of view. what? Like one thing? [Laughs] So I don’t need “You know what I like about that title, everyone I don’t imagine there’s an audience for the to worry about...brilliant. Yep. Brilliant, brilliant. tends to have their own interpretation and it humour behind the nitty gritty of, you know, credit I’ll do that. Whatever it is. That is fantastic. Oh means precisely nothing. Nothing. Here’s what you false swaps or something. I don’t know, they just what, a supply teacher? Should have been more need to know about the title. The perfect title is: wanted something on the back of the jobs and specific!’ [Laughs] ‘Michael Mcintyre Live And Laughing’. It’s perfect money section of The Guardian for a while [laughs]. “You know, none of it for a number of reasons. Firstly, it would get more Well, the first part of has ever been planned. people in. Secondly, it’s live and laughing. That’s all the show, the first split, I’ve pitched things like you need. That’s actually all you need in a title. before the interval, I sort the radio shows that I And it’s allowed him to write whatever show he of am my own support act wrote and the sitcoms wants to write and it will all make sense. He has to really, it’s kind of current I absolutely love sitting that I’ve made and all differentiate between his shows otherwise it affairs and politics and those sorts of things becomes immensely confusing, so you need a then it isn’t in the second and watching the X Factor but lots of that – TV title. And you need a title at the point, which is half. So I do sort of cover host stuff, the acting, roughly, at least six months ahead of when you sit that. In a way it’s odd. I and tweeting through it it's all accidental.” down to write the show. So you need something get my audience from all generic, which is, you know, memorable. And it’s sorts of places. It’s a You do look incredibly quite a hard thing to come up with. Anyway the really interesting young, every time I see phrase, ‘The Time Is Now, Again’, slipped into my audience, if you come and you, you don’t age... head and really made me laugh, on the day that I hang about, see who’s “I know, isn’t it annoying?! Although I do feel as had to select a title. And that is why that is the going into my gigs. They’re all from all different though I have got older. I remember thinking; title of the show.” places. I get people from Mock The Week, I get people ‘I think I might be having a mid life crisis’, but it’s from The Thick Of It, I get people who have been with pretty mild. It’s only a very mild one. It hasn’t [laughs] Well, what’s your show about then? me for years and fans of the Radio 4 shows that I manifested itself in any way. I haven’t bought “Just a bunch of stand up. Yeah, yeah, it’s just a used to do, and quite a few people who have followed anything. Or had an affair. I do find myself bunch of stand up. So many people have started to me from really, really early on. I get people from thinking – someone told me a brilliant thing, my ask what the show’s about! The thing is, it’s standSkins. Erm, it’s just all over the place. It's really weird friend Rachel told me a fantastic thing that...well up comedy. Some politics, some true life stuff, er that I've found something that will kind of unite all of just from somebody who hadn’t quite thought it quite a bit of complaining, some lies, some whimsy them. So, in the first bit, you know because of the through, in her 40th birthday card to me was put: – lots of jokes and stories. That’s really what it is.” Mock The Week people and the The Thick Of It people, ‘Have a great 2nd half’ [laughs]. It was a great and because I’m genuinely interested in that sort of moment because I simultaneously laughed very, Do you think that you would do a satirical show thing, I do sort of do a bit of current affairs type stuff very hard and my blood ran incredibly cold at that about what's been happening in the global financial and we talk more generally in the second half.” point. So yeah, I’m definitely getting older.” arena, just because you wrote an actual column [on finance for The Guardian 2003–2005], having an When will we see more of The Thick of it? Well, enjoy the second third... understanding of finance more than most people? “There’s another series coming this year.” “Perfect – perfect.” “I don’t have any understanding of finance.” Can you say any more than that? Have you filmed Chris Addison – The Time Is Now, Again, Theatre [laughs] Then how did you write a financial it yet? Royal Brighton, Sunday 5 February 2012,8pm, £22, column for ages? “No. No, no, no. [Armando Iannucci] Hasn’t even “I don’t know, I try to be funny. Yeah, so I didn’t, if written it.”

019_LS561_shadi danin what is LS561__food 20/01/2012 17:17 Page 1

wave 21


New Japanese detox and weight loss treatment arrives at the Shadi Danin Medi-Spa


he Shadi Danin Medi-Spa is an award-winning state of the art health spa on New Church Road in Hove. Their friendly and professional staff offer a wide range of services including exclusive weight loss programmes, laser hair removal, semipermanent make-up and the full complement of hair and beauty services. The spa has the only Taizen detox bath in Europe (featured on this week’s cover) – a truly exceptional treatment that after just a ten minute session can reduce weight by up to 3lbs. This Japanese inspired hot stone ritual

on the


What is... Watsu?

immerses the body in a plunge pool of tiny stones that replicate the elements vanadium, zirconium and titanium which naturally occur in two locations in Japan and are renowned for their detox properties. When heated, the stones encourage healthy cell growth and improve the immune system, leaving the body feeling relaxed and the skin rejuvenated. Other benefits of the bath include: • Activate healthy cell growth and reverse negative cell growth. • Activate water molecules in the body, warming it from within and improving absorption of nutrients. • Improve oxygen levels in the body, eliminating bacteria and giving you more energy. • Eliminate fats, chemicals and toxins, reducing cellulite. • Improve blood circulation, allowing faster healing. • Activate Sebaceous Gland activity, improving skin condition and quality, giving it a nice smooth feel. • Reduce acid levels in the body. Shadi Danin, the award-winning dermocosmotologist and tricolologist, and owner of the Shadi Danin Medi-Spa says: “I have had amazing success with the Taizen bath, with clients reporting weight losses of up to 3lbs per session and improved sleeping habits and general health and wellbeing. I truly believe that the Taizen bath will be the most influential development in detox and weight loss treatments in the coming years and am proud to have imported this technology to the UK.” The Taizen bath was recently reviewed by Alice Smellie – health journalist for The Mail On Sunday. After the treatment she said: “I am thrilled and surprised to report that my hip ache totally vanished. I was also 3lb lighter, my jeans were loose and I felt energised.” Readers of Latest 7 can experience the bath for the special price of £60 instead of £120 throughout February. Shadi Danin Medi-Spa, 70 New Church Road Hove, East Sussex, BN3 4FL, 01273 777177, Follow the spa on Twitter for regular offers and updates @ShadiDaninSpa

which is hold me in the water and push me around a bit, which doesn’t sound odd at all, does it? I also have some floats attached to my ankles to help things along, and I’m horizontal in the water. I have to keep my eyes closed and most of the time my ears are underwater too. Judy also explains that during the treatment she won’t talk to me. I’m not great at hiding fits of giggles, and like Juice FM’s Andrea Fox investigates most people I don’t enjoy people invading my personal space. But surprisingly for a different kind of therapy me I felt totally at ease with Judy in the water. Having my eyes closed meant I almost forgot how close we were during the session, and it had the effect of ello, I’m Andrea Fox, I’m an Aquarius and I like living making me feel quite nicely disorientated. I totally let go of where I was and by the sea, swimming and river boat holidays. Is that forgot which way was out and that I was even in a baby pool in the centre of the a good dating profile? I’m not sure but the city. It felt like the effect was to make me think I had point is, I consider myself a water baby. Not babe, a babbling stream running over me. For a water that’s different, I think. For a while for this column baby, this was pretty heavenly. I’ve been hoping to try out something for you that The idea is that just by being in the water, your lets me indulge my love of being in the water, but muscles relax without you doing very much to try as it’s winter I’m not eager to jump in the sea. So and get them to. The manipulation of the body thank the Lord for Watsu! reminded me of yoga poses with the aim to stimulate Watsu is a bit like shiatsu, but in the water and your nervous system, and help speed up recovery, therefore 100 per-cent wetter. By having your should you have any niggles from things like body moved through the water, and your body constantly sitting at a computer or running on manipulated, the idea is that you relieve stress, concrete and just relax the stress of everyday life. and as the water takes your weight (and the More people seem to be exploring the power of extra Christmas weight too!) you don’t have any water, not just for relaxation but for training as well, “For a water baby, this was stress on joints at all. with recent reports of British Olympic running Judy Fox (no relation to me, I promise – we hopefuls training in pools running against fake tides pretty heavenly” checked) is a Brighton Watsu practitioner. There with weights on their legs. Most would expect a medal aren’t many of them in the UK as it started off in the after going to that kind of trouble for a jog. US, but this is the city of embracing new therapies. The words ‘holistic’ and If you fancy trying Watsu it’s recommended for people recovering from an injury ‘therapies’ conjure images of eulogising hippies. And so it should, we wouldn’t or operation and I’m going to try and make it part of my marathon training too. It’s trust a masseuse who didn’t believe in massage oil. But I find Judy is refreshing, also supposed to be good for women both before and after pregnancy. Judy says an advocate of Watsu, but not a traditional ‘treatments’ person. She assures me she wishes she had known about Watsu before her pregnancies. It’s gentle, the she’s a sporty woman, taking part in triathlons, teaching swimming and the like, opposite of something like a Thai massage if you find things like that a bit who came to Watsu after finding it worked for her own body and mind. aggressive. So get your bikini on, or Speedos boys, and relax. The venue Judy uses is a pool is tucked away next to Thorne’s Foods on Upper Find out about Judy Fox and Watsu at, Gardener Street that I hadn’t really been aware of before. It’s normally used as a call 07776 161 547 or email Judy at: baby pool, so there are a few brightly coloured floats about that I’m secretly disappointed don’t feature in the treatment. Interestingly it’s not a chlorine Listen to The Guy & Andrea Breakfast Show on Brighton’s Juice 107.2 every pool, but kept hygienic with salt water, an ‘ozone pool’ it’s called but don’t worry Monday to Friday from 7am it’s heated and couldn't be further from swimming about between the piers. I put on my best (read least old) bikini and step down into the heated pool. follow me on twitter andrea_fox After getting used to the water temperature Judy explains what she’s going to do,


022_LS561_W115_CNM_CNM 19/01/2012 11:46 Page 2

22 wave

Dear Jacquie Your queries about natural health answered by Jacquie Lane from the College of Naturopathic Medicine

Garlic is a natural immune system booster. It may stimulate the production of infection-fighting white blood cells and enhance the efficiency of antibody production. To get the full benefits of garlic, you should eat it raw or very lightly cooked. Typical garlic pills may have had the active enzymes in the garlic that provide the health benefits processed out.

Dear Jacquie I’m fed up with getting colds and chest infections at this time of year. Are there any prevention strategies I can follow? AB, Peacehaven

Zinc also increases the production of infection-fighting white blood cells, and helps white cells release more antibodies. Good sources of zinc include beef, oysters, crab, turkey, scallops, oats, yoghurt, ginger, venison and spinach.

There are many things you can do to boost your body’s immunity. Specific nutrients and foods to do this are: Vitamin C boosts your immune system by helping to increase the production of infection-fighting white blood cells and antibodies. It may also increase your level of antibodies that coats cell surfaces, preventing the entry of viruses. Good food sources include parsley, broccoli, bell peppers, strawberries, oranges, lemon juice, papaya, kiwi fruits, cauliflower, kale, mustard greens and Brussels sprouts. Vitamin E plays an important role in the health of your immune system. The main cells of your immune

system patrol your body, waiting to attack a dangerous invader. As you age, your immune cells don't work as well as they used to, so your immune system is weaker. But vitamin E has been shown in studies to significantly increase immune cell activity, thereby making your immune system stronger. Good food sources are spinach, Swiss chard, turnip, greens, mustard greens, cayenne pepper, wheat-germ, hazelnuts, almonds, sunflower seeds, asparagus and bell peppers.

Probiotics are great for enhancing your immune system, a healthy dose of beneficial bacteria that reside in your gut and make up about 70-80 per cent of that immune system. Look for sugar free probiotic plain yoghurts and probiotic capsules. Elderberry extracts and certain herbal ranges may also be beneficial so as always see your Nutritional Therapist for a personal plan. See your health professional for advice.

Jacquie Lane is a lecturer at the College of Naturopathic Medicine (CNM) and the Director of Studies at CNM in Brighton. Jacquie also runs her own nutrition clinic in Brighton and manages a biological testing lab specialising in digestive issues. Email Jacquie Lane:

CNM open evening If you would like to train to become a nutritional therapist, please book to attend CNM’s next open evening in Brighton. Call 01342 410505 or visit

023_LS561_W115_seedysunday_editorial 20/01/2012 13:34 Page 2

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size and preferred colour (see their website) when entering! Q. What does NukuNuku mean in Japanese? Email competitions@thelatest with ‘NukuNuku’ in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: 13 February 2012.

Health & beauty news, reviews & giveaways SUSTAINABLE STYLE EVENTS

There are times when we all feel a little (or a lot) guilty about how many clothes we own and rarely wear. A solution to this problem for both your conscious and your wardrobe is Cascade. This company is all about sustainable style and promises to help you make more of what you already have in your wardrobe. Events are held in which you can meet interesting new people, take part in creative workshops, get advice from fashion experts and you even leave the event with a handcrafted piece of jewellery or a customised/ embellished garment. Browse and buy from a selection of unique handmade clothes, jewellery and accessories while you learn how to restore, revive and remake your wardrobe. Cascade launch event in Brighton: Thursday 26 January. Varied ticket options: £45. For private group events call 07799 071 919.



Haramakis from Hove-based company NukuNuku are an innovative and stylish creation. NukuNuku means warm and cosy in Japanese and Haramaki translates into bellywrap – a band of material wrapped around your middle. Also called ‘waist warmers’ and ‘belly bands’, these body warmers have been worn for centuries in Japan. They’re great for when you’re playing sports such as yoga and cycling; they can also benefit pregnant and breast-feeding mums; those who feel the cold, and those wanting to banish back fat and muffin tops from sight! We have three Haramakis from NukuNuku to give away. State your

Save our seeds Seeds at the ready! Seedy Sunday is back


ardeners and allotmenteers are gearing themselves up for the start of another gardening year, with Seedy Sunday marking the start of the growing season for many greenfingered residents. This annual event, now in its 11th year, is the UK’s largest and oldest seed swap, with more than 1,500 visitors expected. The idea it to preserve and distribute seeds not commercially available (such as heritage varieties of vegetables) and encourage people to grow the widest range of flowers and crops possible. This will help to preserve biodiversity and also to find plants best suited to our local conditions. If you’ve saved seeds from last year’s crops, you can take them along (in clearly marked envelopes) to swap them for seeds you want to grow this year. If you weren’t able to save seeds, just pay a 50p donation for each packet you want – and pick up information on how to save seeds this year to swap in 2013! The event also features lots of stalls from local community groups, charities and food, seed and environmental businesses and organisations, plus children’s activities and demonstrations. A full programme of talks and discussions takes in topics from planning for year-round vegetable crops and bee-keeping to issues including food sovereignty and seed saving. The day will be rounded off with the ever-popular gardener’s question time, your chance to ask a panel of local gardening experts any question from the basic to the more advanced aspects of growing and saving seeds. Whether you’re just growing a few herbs on a windowsill, taken on an allotment for the first time or have fingers so green people think you’re wearing gloves, Seedy Sunday should be a firm fixture in your diary. Seedy Sunday, Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Sunday 5 February, 10am–4.30pm, £2 entry (children free),

If you don’t have the time to join the gym then why not get your very own personalised health and wellbeing coach for less than 50p a week!? That is exactly what Fitbug is offering to new clients. Fitbug provides tailored coaching to each client through a little device called a ‘bug’ which calculates steps taken, calories burned and distance covered throughout the day. At the end of the day, plug the Bug into your PC and it talks to, providing details on how you’re getting on! A personalised diet, wellbeing and general health plan is also provided. Special offer: £49.99 for two years’ membership (usual price £79.99 for 12 months’ membership).


Women who feel they are stuck in a rut are being urged to attend a life-

changing workshop in Brighton by one of the UK’s leading life coaches. Claire Chidley, teacher, trainer and author of 360º Wisdom: A guide to Discovering You, is providing the workshop in a bid to help women make the changes they need to become happier and less weighed down by the stresses and strains of everyday life. During the workshop there will be group games and exercises. It promises to help restore balance, so rather than being swept along by life, women can enjoy it. Tickets for the all day workshop, held at The Old Courtroom in Hove on Sunday 4 March, cost £50/£40 and can be purchased via:


Suzy Miller’s Starting Over Show has been successful in supporting individuals following a breakdown in a relationship. Workshops and exhibitors offering advice and holistic and wellbeing support to people through their big life changes. If you feel you would benefit from The Starting Over Show, contact Suzy Miller on 07525 059 634 about future events here in Sussex or visit Words: Bethany-Lea Hinchcliffe follow me on twitter


024_LS561_W115_JChalf_editorial 19/01/2012 11:48 Page 1



It’s all in the mind Zara Baker speaks to Jonathan Conway of The Conway Practice to find out how NLP therapy can bring about positive change


euro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a relatively new therapy that has been growing since the 1970s. Jonathan Conway qualified as a hypnotherapist in the year 2000. A Masters and NLP Coaching Course followed, establishing him as a practitioner who helps a number of people overcome anxieties and phobias. With health problems linked to smoking and weight, and with the recession adding stress and strain to our everyday lives, Jonathan Conway explains how NLP can help now more than ever. What age group can benefit from NLP/hypnotherapy?  “There is not really an age limit as it can be helpful for children to the very elderly.” Can NLP therapy be chosen over medication?  “NLP and hypnotherapy can be particularly helpful for helping people make behavioural changes – smoking cessation, weight control...It can also be helpful to assist people to increase their performance in sales and working in teams. It is

not a case of being chosen instead of medication but a different approach to resolving emotional and behavioural problems.”  What can NLP help with? “Smoking cessation, weight control, phobias, stress management, building self esteem and confidence, controlling anxiety, public speaking and learning to relax through self-hypnosis” Please talk us through a session... “Sessions are usually a hour in length. At the first appointment I would usually ask the client some background about their overall situation and agree an outcome as to what the client is hoping to achieve. It is important that this is realistic and achieveable. I would also encourage the client to do something for him/herself that they enjoy. This 'me time' could include going for a walk or listening to music. Keeping some kind of journal of achievements can be helpful as this helps to build self-esteem and confidence.” How many sessions are usually required?  “The average number of sessions is usually around six but it can be less or more.” How successful is NLP? Do clients fall back into old habits years down the line? “NLP Coaching is a very popular and effective way of helping people; some clients will need a top up from time to time.”

Tell us about the newly launched website “The main reason for launching the new website was to make sure that it can be regularly updated and that I can include a blog. The first website was built when screens were narrower and technology has moved on since then.” What do you want most people to take away with them following NLP/hypnotherapy?  “I want people to feel better about themselves and learn to be as kind to themselves as they can be to other people. Seeing what their true potential really is and what the next steps truly are.”

Where are you based? “I currently work in Brighton and Hove, Horam, Forest Row, North London, and Harley Street in central London.”

What would you tell someone who is considering NLP and hypnotherapy? “There has never been a better time to take stock of where we are going in our lives. As life gets more difficult it is good to learn to be the very best that we can be.”

Are telephone sessions available? “Yes, they are. This would be similar to a face to face meeting but by phone, thus saving the client time in travelling to my practice.”

Jonathan Conway, NLP Master Practitioner and Coach, Ericksonian Hypnotherapist, 01273 540425 or 07956 855 027,



conway practice Specialist in Smoking Cessation and Weight Control • Self Esteem • Anxiety • Phobias

Jonathan Conway Bsc Dip EHPNLP MNCH (acc) NLP Master Practitioner & Coach

• Public Speaking • Relationship Difficulties

• Learn Self Hypnosis Help with Emotional problems and Wellbeing


Brighton, Hove, East Sussex & London Practices

01273 540425 • 07956 855027

025_LS560-_W115_revitalise_Revitalise 20/01/2012 13:05 Page 3

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ower Plate® classes at Revitalise in Hove have firmly been on our radar for a few years now. Since they were first introduced in the UK, Power Plate machines fascinated both gym fanatics and exercise-phobes. Promising to deliver a full-body workout with twice the results in half the time, Power Plates are a must for those desperate to shift those last pounds put on over winter and get in shape for an event such as the Brighton Marathon and skiing holidays! Revitalise’s newly opened Brighton therapy centre is home to a large Power Plate studio with classes held on a daily basis. The classes still take place over at the Revitalise centre in Hove too, meaning it’s easier than ever to find a class at a time and location to suit you. Brighton’s Revitalise also offers massage and stretch classes, great for those wanting a more gentle workout, or for those training for marathons/events as a recovery session. While Power Plate classes aren’t the cheapest form of exercise around (the machines are very expensive and big too, which is why people are drawn to classes as opposed to everyone owning one in their own home), Revitalise always has fantastic offers, making Power Plates an affordable and attractive means of exercise. Start in a beginners class and your first Power Plate session at The benefits of Revitalise is free! A 30 minute Power Plates class means it’s convenient too. • Improved body shape Wear loose comfortable clothing • Increases muscle & skin tone such as socks (no shoes); no • Increased muscular endurance shower and no hours spent • Aids weight loss slogging away at the gym. Just • Increases muscular strength two or three 30 minute sessions a • Reduce appearance of cellulite week will deliver noticeable results • Assists in osteoporosis prevention in the way you look and feel. The • Stretches muscles experienced instructors guide you • Relaxes & massages muscles through a class that is fun, • Stimulates the lymphatic system motivating, challenging and offers • Increases metabolism great results. • Reduce stress Half the time, twice the results; • Improved balance how does that work? The science • Enhanced athletic performance behind it is actually quite simple: • Increased self confidence Power Plate machines vibrate • Improved posture (intensity depends on the individual and class level: beginner, intermediate or advanced). When you are on the machines, the vibrations activate muscle contractions ½ Price Offe multiple times per second. So, if you do a r set of 10 squats on the Power Plate 10 Power Plate machines (which is great for those classes only £75 aforementioned skiing sessions), it can Saving: £75. One month expiry. be the same as doing 20! Muscle Available at Revit groups are activated simultaneously, ali in Hove and Brigh se resulting in accelerated muscle ton. Call for more de strength, tone, endurance and flexibility. tails. At Revitalise, Power Plate classes are limited to four people, so there is a high level of teacher interaction. Classes are available seven days a week both daytime and evening, delivering a full body workout out in just half an hour. Here at Latest 7 we have raved about Power Plates for a long time and for good reason. Try the half price offer at Revitalise and tell us your story ( Revitalise, 86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389,, and 123A Western Road, Brighton, 01273 710855,, Visit the website for more special offers.

026_LS561_hotlist_Hotlist 18/01/2012 14:16 Page 2



L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit British & modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Breeze Brasserie

A bright, chilled restaurant, Breeze is situated on North Laine’s busy Trafalgar Street. Relaxed and upbeat, Breeze’s atmosphere matches its name, with friendly service and an informal, vintage style look combining exposed brick with reclaimed clocks and mirrors and modern café seating and comfy banquettes. Inspired by Modern European cuisine, Breeze serves brasserie style food, plus a good selection of heartier rustic dishes made with local produce, throughout the day – breakfast, lunch and dinner – as well as offering a well stocked bar for those lazy evenings enjoying cocktails and good food. Breeze is the perfect addition to Brighton’s dining scene. Breeze, 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4ER, 01273 693377,

The Foragers

Great news: For the third year The Foragers, under talented young Head Chef Josh Kitson, has reached the prestigious Sussex Food and Drink Finals 2012, and on top of that accolade they have also been awarded an AA Rosette for their excellent cuisine. To celebrate these awards they are offering complimentary champagne cocktails to all bookings of ten or more, just be sure to mention Latest 7 when making your party booking! The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, BN3 3YU 01273 733134,

The Loop Café-Bar & Coffee House

Nestling on Kemp Town seafront is this contemporary Anglo-Brazilian café-bar with a menu that features traditional English fare as well as some tasty Brazilian dishes. Whether you choose one of the stylish red sofas, or the sunny south-facing front terrace, you can enjoy free Wi-Fi while you savour the homemade food and great selection of coffees. Open 10m–6pm seven days a week. 16 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 677944,

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting. Locally-owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list, selected mainly from local merchants by GQ wine columnist Jonathan Ray, compliments their wholesome and satisfying food. Kids’ menu great value. Open Mon–Thurs, 5pm–9.30pm; Fri–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm, and open all day bank holidays. Plus the garden is now open for summer! 120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200,

The Upper Deck Restaurant at Rendezvous Casino

For a different dining experience, The Upper Deck Restaurant is set in the heart of the casino action while offering spectacular views over the English Channel, allowing you to enjoy the best of both worlds during your dining experience at the Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina. You don’t need to be a member to dine in The Upper Deck Restaurant; food is served from 12pm to 3am, and on Sunday evenings they serve a fabulous Chinese buffet available for just £5 per person. The Upper Deck Restaurant, Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina, 01273 605602


Donatello quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

Mange Tout

Mange Tout is an independent bistro that opened two years ago. Great French cooking and fresh, local, ethical produce has proved to be a success. Visit for breakfast for the acclaimed eggs Mange Tout, lunch for the daily specials or dinner for refined French classics. Local beers and carefully selected wines or just a freshly squeezed orange juice with your breakfast! Mange Tout, 81 Trafalgar Street, BN1 4EB, 01273 607270

New Steine Bistro

Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321,

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches,

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm. 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415

Indian Chaula’s

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

The Chilli Pickle

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can feast upon a selection of award-winning King Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Romali Roti wraps and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too.The Chilli Pickle has been recognised with a Michelin Bib, 2 AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK Restaurant in The National Restaurant Awards and runners up in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards.Lunch is served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential. 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900383,

Indian Summer

Breeze Brasserie

Nationally acclaimed and a favourite with locals, Indian Summer is celebrating its 10th anniversary. Serving favourites like masala dosa and bhel puri, the menu is influenced from genuine recipes covering south, north, and central india. For lunch you can choose two

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

courses for £10 or a new tapas street menu with four choices for 11.95. An elegant evening set menu starts at £21.95. Booking is strongly advised. For offers and events find them on Facebook. 69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 711001,

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135,

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared daily and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily. Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am–3pm Sat, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350,

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and “gin yur yur” (eat a lot!) 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226,

Wine bar Plateau

Plateau is a unique bar à vin and restaurant. They have put a great deal of time and love into selecting their wines. To soak up their wine they serve ‘bites’, small dishes that are perfect to share or great as a starter. Follow your ‘bites’ with a ‘plat’ or ‘plateau’ and that’s their dinner experience. But don’t forget to try their cocktails! Plateau, 1 Bartholomews, Brighton, BN1 1HG, 01273 733085

027_LS561_food__food 20/01/2012 12:42 Page 1


Food & Drink Andrew Kay collects his chips at Brighton Marina’s Rendezvous Casino

Safe bet


here was a time a few years back when the Rendezvous Casino at Brighton Marina was attracting a lot of praise as a place to eat. It was justified too, the food was very good. But a few years back those chefs moved on and opened their own place to equal praise, and for some reason I forgot about the ease with which one can eat at almost any casino and how affordable it can be too. There has certainly always been a policy of selling high quality dishes, Dover soles and fillet steaks, at prices that few other restaurants could afford to do, and sometimes a sole and steak is just what the doctor ordered. My friend Mr M, a food festival cohort, informed me that under the new management, the casino restaurant was hitting its stride again. So off I went to meet him there for dinner and no gambling. I say that because gambling doesn’t really do much for me, but there is no obligation to hit the tables if you simply want to dine or have a drink for that matter. The first nice surprise of the evening was that the restaurant was in the more than capable hands of my old friend Anna, a seasoned catering professional. I knew that we would be in for a very nice time; she can balance quality service with friendliness in a way that few ever master. Over a G&T Mr M pointed out a few rather understated notes on the menu. Tucked away they point out that rather a lot of the produce they are using is locally sourced. Now I know it’s a trend that some places have adopted, even if all they mean is that the tomatoes came from the local Co-op. But there they had listed the farms. I was impressed. Anna took us to what I know is the best table with a view of every corner of the room, from the slots to the roulette. The menu is by no means “The menu is by trendy, if anything it is a little old fashioned but I was in the mood for no means trendy, if that. Mr M seemed equally happy and started with some very good chilli anything it is a little prawns, huge specimens sat on a salad old fashioned but I dressed with more chilli sauce. I chose the scallops which came with toasted bread. I will be honest and was in the mood say that the portion was not huge but for that” it was certainly made up for in the quality of the cooking. Each was perfectly seared on the outside and just warmed in the middle and beneath them was as good a puddle of beurre blanc as I have had in some time, no gimmicks or tricks, just clean and precise cooking. The chef sent a message out to apologise to Mr M that the fish supplier


had only sent in fillets of Dover Sole. Now we both know that it tastes better and stays hotter when served on the bone normally, but the fillets were cooked to perfection, snowy white and perfectly tender. I did look on with a sense of envy, until my steak arrived. Now I would nearly always choose a rump or a rib-eye or a sirloin over a fillet. Fillet is so often over-priced and under-flavoured. But Anna was very keen to recommend the fillet and I have to say it was sensibly priced. It came on a large plate with a spray of roasted cherry tomatoes on the vine, a field mushroom and a bucket of chips. Anna had asked if I would like a sauce with that and I asked if they had a blue cheese one. She nodded and there it was, served in a white china sauce boat and as good a blue cheese sauce as I have ever had. I confess to not liking the bucket thing but I will get to that later. The steak was good, not as rare as perhaps I would normally like but still rosy pink and succulent. Puds were pleasantly old fashioned, a fruit crumble for Mr M and a sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream for me. Coffee came in a cafetiere and was very, very good and brandies were served warmed over a cup of hot water, a very pleasing old school touch. So about that bucket – well it really lies at the heart of my only complaint. You see the food is good, really good, the meat excellent, the fish fresh and the cooking precise. I really could not fault any of it, although cherry tomatoes cooked on a vine are like culinary landmines if you don’t prick them. No, the cooking is good and the service is exemplary. What it lacks is style on the plate. The look of the food is dated; the tableware, that quirky variety of squares, oblongs and oblique angles that was so popular in 1999, but now just looks odd. And especially when the food is rather traditionally British in essence rather than artfully dainty nouvelle nonsense. And the bucket? No, no no. Please put the chips on the plate where they will stay hot and crisp and mop up some of those nice steak juices and the blue cheese sauce. I know this is nit-picking and believe me I feel mean, but really, they could fill the place every night with produce cooked this well if it only looked better on the plate, or indeed if the plates looked better. Casino culture is changing, the licensing changes make it a more relaxed place to visit and the prices are far from scary. Given a choice of a drink here before a film or in a pub and I would go to the casino every time. I would get a seat and a very warm welcome. Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina Village, BN2 5UT 01273 605602

Have you dined at Rendezvous?

Light bites 22ND SUSSEX BEER & CIDER FESTIVAL With real ale continuing to out perform in the UK beer market it now has a 15 per-cent share of the booze market. So to cope with the expected demand there will be nearly 230 beers on sale at the 22nd Sussex Beer & Cider Festival to be held at Hove Town Hall 8–10 March. A large selection of ciders, perries, country wines and British and foreign bottled beers will also be available. The downstairs bar has been designated as the local ale bar and will be selling only beers from all the breweries in Sussex. As record attendances are expected it is advisable to buy tickets in advance. The ticket price includes a souvenir programme and, for CAMRA members, beer tokens worth £2 on presentation of their membership card. For the Saturday evening, half price tickets will be available to

students buying tickets at the Hove Centre on production of a Student Union card. If you look under 25 please bring ID. Thurs evening 5pm – 11pm £4 Fri lunchtime 11am – 3pm £2 Fri evening 5pm – 11pm £7 Sat lunchtime 11am – 3pm £4 Sat evening 5pm – 10pm £6 (£3 concessions) Advance tickets from the 16 Jan to 4 Mar at the usual outlets (Brighton & Hove: Brighton Centre, (there is a booking fee whether on line or by phone); Evening Star, Sir Charles Napier; Shoreham: Buckingham Arms; Horsham, Beer Essentials; Lewes: Gardener's Arms; Worthing: Selden Arms, or by post from: SCBCF Ticket Sales, 13 Rudyard Road, Woodingdean, Brighton BN2 6UB. For postal applications, please state the session(s) for which you require tickets, and enclose a 9 x 4 SAE with your payment, which should be by cheque or Postal Order made payable to “CAMRA Sussex Beer Festival”. follow me on twitter


028_029_LS561_reviewsbookings_Reviews 20/01/2012 13:45 Page 2



L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at

The number one party venue in Europe’s sexiest city – BRIGHTON!

ALL ABOARD! SWALLOWS AND AMAZONS Chichester Festival Theatre, 18 January JJJJJ


You make the booking, we make it happen. Tell us what you want, we’ll provide it all. A fabulous party and you have to do nothing!

NEW!! We can now film your party in high definition and give you a DVD to take away with you at amazing introductory prices. We are the first venue in the UK to offer this.

CALL JENNI OR RUTH ON 01273 687171 OR EMAIL BOOKINGS@THELATEST.CO.UK Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office Parties Hen and Stag Nights

hat joy to leave a theatre with a beaming grin on your face and a warm glow inside. As a boy I loved Arthur Ransome’s books, so my memory was fuelling my expectation of this production, and I have to be honest, I did wonder how relevant it would be for a modern audience. I also worried that those behind it would feel a need to modernise. Thank God they did not! Set in a time when children played outside and parents did not constantly fret over the safety of their offspring, the Walker children set off on an adventure that sees them battle the elements and enemies in the most delightful way, so delightful it had me thinking how impoverished a child’s life is in these days of computer games and enforced incarceration. Helen Edmundson has beautifully captured the mood and the language of the period, and the cast brilliantly presented the modes of speech and manners of that time. This was clearly not a musical either but a play with songs, and where a musical would use dance this had movement which is used not to fill a gap but to progress the narrative. The representation of the two boats is so simply and beautifully executed that they are totally believable. In fact, the whole performance had an air of gentle and enchanting reality. Neil Hannon’s score has much of his trademark wit and whimsy and a timeless quality that works so well in this timeless piece that evokes an age when imagination and invention were kings, where a broom pole could become a mast, a garden cane a reed bed and a blanket a sail. Brilliant ensemble playing from the entire cast made this a work of real joy, an example for a younger audience that both in theatre and in life, we do not need computers and gimcrack wizardry to be transported to delights, and for older generations a nostalgic journey to a time when a good book could happily fill the hours. Andrew Kay


What’s not to like about an evening filled with superb athleticism, technical wizardry, artistic and challenging choreography and the music of Barry Manilow? Holiday On Ice have done it once again with a sparkling show that sees director Robin Cousins hitting a new creative high. The CGI backdrop is a superb addition to the whole and Mr Cousins as ever keeps a tight control of the whole, making sure that the sometime excesses of wardrobe are kept in check. The result is a far more modern iceshow, right for the 21st century, but make no mistake, there is still glamour and glitz enough to make

this one of the sparkling events of the calendar. Brighton Centre, 13 January JJJJJ Andrew Kay


Maybe it was the evening’s cold weather but it took a while for the opening act ‘The Jazz Aces’ to warm the audience up. Eventually the five-piece, clad in bright yellow traditional zoot suits, whipped the crowd up in time for British jazz legend Kenny Ball and the latest incarnation of his ‘Jazzmen’. The band kept the energy going by racing through some jazz/swing classics, including Kenny’s ‘60s number one hit ‘Midnight In

028_029_LS561_reviewsbookings_Reviews 20/01/2012 13:46 Page 3

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 29 Moscow’, which enabled the immensely talented band to stretch their wings with some truly inspiring solo performances. He maybe an octogenarian, but Kenny can still swing. Pavilion,Theatre, Worthing, 15 January JJJJJ Lee Stevens


Wesker is the UK’s greatest living playwright, a fact often unsung. But last night Nicola Haydn’s direction went a long way to proving that. The genius is, that as a man, Wesker can write with a beautiful, poetic and powerful female voice. The Mistress is evidence of that art, but in lesser hands the play would be disastrous, it demands good direction and above that a talented actor to take on the complex role of Samantha. Jo Merman is that actor and she gives a performance that is confident, gripping and ultimately heart-breaking, a real tour-de-force. This is a must see performance if ever there was one and hopefully this short run will be revived very soon. The intimate surroundings of Upstairs at Three and Ten suit it well, the claustrophobic and oppressive mood created a fine setting and the re-configured space works better than ever. Upstairs at Three & Ten, 17 January JJJJJ Andrew Kay

L7 Bookings On sale this week…

The Philadelphian singer-song writer may have got off to a slightly unremarkable start, but there were some real gems once she got going. ‘The Lonely’ showcased her impressive voice and, while a Roy Orbison cover missed most of the audience, new song ‘Crazy’ gave us a taste of better things to come with its rougher edges. The encore was, of course, ‘Jar Of Hearts’, a cracking pop song which was stripped down to an intimate solo performance at the piano. Although enjoyable, the most impressive thing about Christina Perri’s performance was the amount of potential just waiting to be realised. Concorde 2, 19 January JJJJJ Kayleigh Lewis Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

Mark Watson


The Searchers


Martlets Hall, Burgess Hill, 19 May 2012, £18.50, 01444 242888 Following the success of The Beatles and capitalising on the ‘Mersey Sound’, comes The Searchers. In 1963 they quickly established their own distinctive sound and dedicated following, with a 12-string lead guitar and harmonies which anticipated the sound of The Byrds. ‘Sweets For My Sweet’, ‘Sugar And Spice’ and ‘Needles And Pins’ were their three number one hits, their total world sales exceed over 30 million. Step back in time. Brighton Centre, 7 May 2012, £18.50, 0844 8471515, Following their recent sold-out European and UK headline tour, The Vaccines have announced four seaside arena dates. Rock with a stick of rock in it.


Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 10

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 16 March 2012, £23, 01273 709709, To celebrate the 35th anniversary of their debut release, Rattus Norvegicus, and in anticipation of their 17th studio album in 2012, the original punk-pop renegades are back on the road. Full of Strange Little Girls.



To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to

1 The Last Cry Rebekka 2 Osaro and RJ Shut Up And Dance 3 Moonlighter Every Time I Fall own Radio 4 series, published his second novel and performed sell-out runs at the Adelaide and Melbourne comedy festivals as well as the Sydney Opera House. Rather good then.

4 The Magik Word Break Free (Terrorvision)


7 The Wolfgirl Liberation Tuesday

Komedia, 13 June 2012, £14/12, 0845 293 8480, Stars of BBC1’s The Magicians and winners of the World Magic Awards: Best Comedy Illusionists, twisted warlocks Barry and Stuart will be stunning audiences with their amazing new show.


Komedia, 20 May 2012, £12/10, 0845 293 8480, This extraordinary new one-woman comedy show tells the story of the part Isy played in two people’s blossoming internet romance while on her own treacherous search for true love. As featured on Radio 4. Isy Suttie


Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 14 October 2012, £17.50, 01273 709709, The 2006 If.comedies Panel Prize Winner and Time Out’s No 1 Critic’s Choice. He was also a regular on BBC2’s Mock The Week, host of ITV's Mark Watson Kicks Off, been in his The Vaccines

5 Coda Luna Folie a Deux 6 The Fadadoo Project Lost In A Crowd

8 Nick Conroy Forever 9 Zoe Konez When The Snow Came 10 Nick Conroy Better Days The Last Cry have held onto that Number One top spot with ‘Rebekka’, with a vintage indie rock sound. This week the top five have managed to stay the same, with dance duo Osaro and RJ’s popular ‘Shut Up and Dance’ as a heavy contender, remaining second. Moonlighter’s ‘Every time I Fall’ and rappers The Magic Word, take third and fourth, whilst the jazzy sounds of Coda Luna’s ‘Folie a Deux’ remains at number five. It’s only really out of the top five that contenders are climbing. Watch out for sweet pop-rap song from The Fadadoo Project 'Lost In A Crowd'.

11 Chaos Borne Watching 12 Nick Conroy Don’t Care 13 tenek No Time For Fighting (JAB EDIT) 14 BreakinBear Joe Cocker – Never Tear Us Apart (BreakinBear Dubstep Remix) 15 Slipp Electro ft Osaro It’s Lifting Me (Remix) 16 Alexxa B Pawn 17 AliXXia Nothing 18 Stuart Newman 51st State 19 La Lunalight Hear No Evil 20 Julia Fitness Over Love SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos



030_033_030_031_LS561_previews_editorial 20/01/2012 15:37 Page 2



L7 Previews STAGE: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE BLOODY BRILLIANT The Spaghetti Western Orchestra returns with a hilarious musical tribute to Ennio Morricone & Sergio Leone


ou only need to hear three haunting notes and not only do you know the tune but you cannot resist joining in. You know the tune, the genre and even the composer and that is because the works of Morricone are iconic, he even manages to make whistling cool. But the joy of the Spaghetti Western Orchestra is that they deliver the themes in a hilarious and compelling way. The five Australian cast members are extremely talented performers both musically and comedically. The show is a high charged romp through the genre and the works are delivered in an utterly authentic form; not only do they sound like the film soundtracks, but on top of this they have fun, peppering the evening with sound effects and visual gags that have the audience rocking in their seats with laughter.

They even manage to get the most resistant audience members to join in and sing along. With over 100 instruments between them, some clearly homemade, and a battery of sound effects, the cast deliver the best known scores and a few interesting additions. They each play a clichéd Western role, although there is no plot, just a sequence of grunts and whoops and the occasional walk about the stage. It would be good without the great staging but with it it makes for some really theatrical entertainment that simply flies by and has the audience hollerin’ for more. Yee ha! The Spaghetti Western Orchestra, Theatre Royal Brighton, Tuesday 7 February, 7.45pm, £25/20, box office 08448 717 650,

STAGE: ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST Award winning Tanglehead Productions are to bring their sell out Brighton Fringe production of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest to Komedia this month. Having won the 2011 Brighton Fringe Festival Audience Award for their adaptation of Dale Wasserman’s play of the classic Ken Kesey novel – the company’s work proved to be a catalyst for the Komedia. “We haven’t been involved in theatre for over a year but this wonderfully realised version of the play, proved a spur for us, and it has been a pleasure to bring the show to the Komedia,” said Marina Kobler, artistic director of Komedia. The play skilfully and comically uncovers the dehumanising affects of society’s labelling and incarceration of individuals in mental institutions. Although an ensemble piece, the performance particularly focuses on the impact of Randle P McMurphy who, to escape prison, feigns madness and ends up in the Institute. “The work is funny, dramatic, tragic, but ultimately redemptive, and although written in the 1960s the piece has a resonance for a 21st century audience,” said Rikki Tarascas, company director, adding: “It is a fabulous piece of theatre that shines with humanity.” One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Komedia, Brighton, 19–22 Jan, 7.30pm, £16.50/13, box office 0845 293 8480, STAGE: MAY May is a woman living on the edge, Douglas is a man living in his head. When their worlds collide, only the truth can save them. Told through dance, words and music, Probe’s tale of the relationship

between May and Douglas pitches gritty realism against beguiling fairytale, disclosing an unlikely yet passionate love affair between two misfits. Grove and Duke deliver Probe’s most exciting duet work to date; whilst musician Scott Smith’s understated comedy grounds the whole piece in the here and now. Critically acclaimed, this daring work of dance theatre written by Tim Crouch and directed by Pete Shenton of New Art Club, is back by popular demand following its UK tour in 2011. May, Minerva Theatre, Chichester, Weds 1 Feb, 7.45pm, £18, box office 01243 781312,


Sister Act Congress Theatre, Eastbourne Tue 24 Jan–Sat 4 Feb Box office 01323 412000 Yes, Prime Minister Festival Theatre, Chichester Thurs 26 Jan–Sat 4 Feb Box office 01243 781312 Kvetch The New Venture, Brighton Sat 21 –Sat 28 Jan Box office 01273 746118 Romeo & Juliet 2012 Shakespeare for Kids The Hawth , Crawley Fri 27 Jan Box office 01293 553636 follow me on twitter


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030_033_030_031_LS561_previews_editorial 20/01/2012 15:42 Page 3 Munich

LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS CLUBS: COTTON TAIL CLUB Hitch up your skirt, spit polish your shoes and shake your bones. Playing a mixture of rock n roll, jitter jive, red hot rhythm n blues and big band sounds from the ’20s, right up to the ’50s. With half price cocktails available all night. Audio, Tues 24 Jan, 10pm-late, free CLUBS: MOD FOR IT A night of far-out tunes from the Mod scene of the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s! Expect a cool mix of Northern soul, Stax & Motown, ska, R&B, British invasion, ’60s Garage, new wave and two tone from the resident DJ Jody Lee-hooker. Komedia, Sat 28 Jan, 11pm-3am, £5


MUSIC: VIVE LA FRANCE! French themed music festival set to celebrate our continental cousins

B MUSIC: HOWLER Hot US indie rock outfit, over here in support of new album Give Up America. It's classic stuff, combining an old school garage/rock’n’roll distorted aesthetic with strong melodies, where The Strokes meet The Replacements via The Vaccines. Green Door Store, Tues 24 Jan, 7.30pm, £8 MUSIC: ZOE MUTH AND THE LOST HIGH ROLLERS Want some truly authentic sounding country music? Then check this relatively new Seattle based lot, armed with the usual arsenal of country tools such as mandolin, pedal steel and dollops of heartbreak and misery, but done with understated passion and plenty of skill. Prince Albert, Mon 30 Jan, 7.30pm, £10

Gypsy Switch


righton will once again will be welcoming our French cousins for a three-day festival and celebration of French music and culture brought to you by Melting Vinyl. Four venues will be hosting an exciting and eclectic mix of electro-pop, Chanson, performances from local French artists under the ‘French Connection’ banner as well as a dose of French-infused World Music, Urban, and Cinema. Highlights include buzz band Francois & the Atlas Mountains, who will be releasing their new album this week, the palindromic E Volo Love – it's sung in both French and English – and walks the line between warmly uplifting rhythms and wistful melancholy. Number one French music and culture magazine Les Inrocks will once again be hosting a night of new music, with sets from Polarsets, College, Air Bag One and a DJ set from Les Rocks Brighton-based editor JD Beauvallet. Members of Francois & the Atlas Mountains will then take to the decks for an after-party at Plateau. Brighton is also home to many French-born artists, and they will be performing under the French Connection banner throughout the three days; including the dance band Transformer who will this time be deejaying at Green Door Store on 27 January in support of Phoebe Killdeer & The Short Straws, Justine Taton and Sing Sing My Darling. Later that evening both Melanie Pain and Phoebe Killdeer will be deejaying at Plateau. Saturday 28 January will see an open discussion on the French music industry at Green Door Store, plus a late night screening of Amelie at the Duke of Yorks, which features a live performance from Nouvelle Vague's Melanie Pain, followed by an afterparty at Plateau. Vive La France, 26–28 January. follow me on twitter

latestjeff Francois & the Atlas Mountains

Zoe Muth

MUSIC: REVERB LIVE! The bi-monthly showcase of up-andcoming Brighton talent this time features classic indie four-piece Jetglo, indie popsters Raising Maisie, The Gypsy Switch and Jack Brett. Latest Musicbar, Tues 24 Jan, 8pm, £2 MUSIC: EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY Apt name for this titanic outfit with song titles such as ‘First Breath After Coma’. Their pronged guitar attack is supplemented by drums, creating mini-symphonies of cathartic postrock noise that has won them a large cult following here in the UK. Concorde 2, Sat 28 Jan, 7pm, £20

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030_033_030_031_LS561_previews_editorial 20/01/2012 15:52 Page 4

Nik Coppin



COMEDY: THE HUMBLE QUEST FOR UNIVERSAL GENIUS Mark Allen delivers pure comedy genius


he search for an all-rounder has been on ever since it was time to pick sides in games at school and the kid that could both hit and catch the ball got chosen first. Comedically speaking, Mark Allen has hit the ball right into out of bounds and happened to be dallying there, up to who-knows-what in order to catch it with an arm like Popeye after a particularly good tin of the green stuff. The Humble Quest For Universal Genius is a fabulous concept for a comedy show, enriched by its live arena and all the better for its players, host and audience. Mark Allen hosts the show, ably aided by his ‘glamorous’ assistant Eli Silverman. Rounds consist of such fabulous topics as ‘etiquette’, ‘poetry’, ‘wit’ and ‘hunting’, utilising the multiple guess format and a multimedia element in their delivery with PowerPoint and videos. This is truly a search for a universal genius among the comedy fraternity (and sorority), and has been going down a storm around the country as Mark took it to various outdoor festivals in 2011 and played it to enthralled houses in both Brighton and London. Now with a new year comes a new home to The Humble Quest For Universal Genius as it takes up monthly residency at Komedia. Kicking off with two power-players for the title, regulars on TV and radio and both having featured on The Michael McIntyre Comedy Roadshow broadcast across the nation, it’s Zoe Lyons Vs Simon Evans. You can even compete against them yourself as the audience itself plays a major role, experimenting as to whether the ‘hive brain’ of those seated viewers can outdo the individuals battling it out for the title. You’ll understand when you get there but know that no-one will be picked on and it’s loads of fun. Future intellectual comedic duels are set between Stephen Grant and Steve Hall next month (26 February) and pitch Joey Page Vs Michael Fabbri on 25 March. Once visited this is a night always treasured. See you there. The Humble Quest for Universal Genius, Komedia, Sunday 29 January, 8pm, £9/7, follow me on twitter


accessories to the big swish, and get ready to swap them. This month's swish is in aid of Cystic Fibrosis and ticket prices include a goody bag from sponsors Bare Minerals makeup. Hotel du Vin, Sun 29 Jan, 2pm, £10/8.50,

James Acaster

COMEDY: COMIC BOOM Komedia’s monthly night of exciting new comedy without the gamble! James Acaster headlines, as seen on Russell Howard’s Good News and supporting Milton Jones’ recent tour. Plus support from the next big things on the circuit. Komedia, Thurs 26 Jan, 8pm, £9/7

EVENTS: CASCADE'S STYLE WORKSHOP Restore, revive and remake your wardrobe at this stylish evening. In a creative workshop, make vintage sari silk bangles, Japanese style flower accessories and customise a T-shirt. Browse and buy unique handmade clothes. You’ll have a friendly consultation with a stylist, a drink and sample lovely food. Metro Deco, Kemp Town, Thurs 26 Jan, 6.30pm–10pm, £45

COMEDY: RABBIT IN THE HEADLIGHTS Often hilarious, sometimes bizarre and occasionally mind-blowing! A great night of comedy with a mix of new stand-ups and established comics with new material. The night is hosted by the winner of the 2011 BBC Radio 2 New Comedy Award, Angela Barnes. Upstairs At The Three And Ten, Fri 27 Jan, 8pm, £8/6 COMEDY: OFF THE CUFF One of Brighton’s favourite improv’ troupes, Off The Cuff twist the audience’s suggestions into comic gold, making for a different show every time. Upstairs At The Three And Ten, Sat 28 Jan, 8pm, £8/6 EVENTS: BIG JANUARY CLOTHES SWAP Get rid of all those unwanted Christmas presents for something that you really want to wear. Bring 1-15 items of clothing, shoes or

EVENTS: SUSSEX BOAT JUMBLE A marine mad day with new and second hand boating and fishing items, shackles, lines and even boats, at bargain prices. Visit established retailers who will be on hand to share their knowledge. All proceeds from the day are donated to the Jubilee Sailing Trust. South of England Centre, Ardingly, Sun 29 Jan, 10am, £3.50

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tues 24 january

reverb live!

+ jetglo + gypsy switch + raising maisie 8.00pm £2

wed 25 january

the jon cohen experiment + dinosaur!attack! + bird engine 7.30pm £6/£5

thurs 26 january cabaret bar:

sad sentry presents...

ak/dk + the galleons + stick in a pot + ez stone. 7.30pm £5 cafe bar:

pop-up ping pong parlour

for everyone who enjoys ping pong from master senseis to complete beginners! 7.30pm free

fri 27 january

chris cresswell & voodoo vaudeville

she's left me...with chris cresswell - bitterness, rage and

the last roll of the dice. 7.30pm £8/£7

sun 28 january

normanton street & friends 7.30pm £3

mon 29 january

mode music presents

jenny lindfors + kate + fragile creatures + annie dresner + more new talent. 7pm £3

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ART: VISITOR Visitor is an investigation into experience of place, figure and landscape. Real and invented panoramas depict the beauty and strangeness of the natural world. Two new installation works await you by artists Gibson and Martelli – environments inspired by the Canadian Rockies. Visitor: Gibson & Martelli, De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill on sea, 01424 229111, 28 Jan–1 April ART: EDWARD BURRA First major show for over 25 years of the work of Edward Burra, one of the most individual and celebrated British artists of the 20th century. Despite suffering from acute arthritis, Burra created a large body of memorable images during his lifetime. Edward Burra, Pallant House, Chichester, 01243 774557. Until 19 Feb

FILM: THE DESCENDANTS (15) Dir: Alexander Payne From the director of the Oscarwinning film Sideways comes this comedy drama starring George Clooney as a complacent landowner in Hawaii whose life is turned upside down when his wife is involved in an accident. Left to re-examine his relationship with his two daughters and consider the family’s future, this catches him at a crossroads as to whether to stay on his family’s wealthy land or sell up and move out. Nominated for five Golden Globes. Released Fri 27 Jan Showing at Odeon and Cineworld For full details of film times:


FILM: A MONSTER IN PARIS 3D (U) Director: Bibo Bergeron


French film with a mostly American voice cast to feed the kiddies’ brains with creative ideas. Yay! After all of the Oscar-fodder aiming high for recognition and age group (The Artist notwithstanding – another mostly French film) it’s good to find something in our cineplexes for the younger audiences to enjoy. Set in Paris in 1910, this tells the tale of a shy projectionist who joins forces with an inventor to accidentally create Franc – a monster with a fabulously terrifying talent for music. Obviously this means that there are politicians and bureaucrats after their new beastly friend for their own nefarious reasons – enter the evil mayor commissioner Maynott. Luckily they have the perfectly charming and gutsy cabaret singer Lucille on their side to help good (hopefully) triumph. Can the pals really keep their animated creation safe and musically happy in this early 20th century city? Cripes, you can fairly taste the peril. Featuring the vocal talents of Vanessa Paradis, Adam Goldberg and the singing acrobatics of a certain Sean Lennon. Released Friday 27 January Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Listings Send your stage listings to: Send your comedy listings to: Send your events listings to: Send your arts listings to: Send your music listings to: Send your club listings to: Send your gay listings to:

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034_LS561_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 20/01/2012 12:24 Page 2



STARS With Val Aviv

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

Life can be unpredictable but that doesn’t mean you should give up trying or allow the knowledge of life’s impermanence to stop you pursuing your dreams. Just because something might not work, that doesn’t mean it won’t. Stamp out doubt, nurture faith.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

You’re not one for blatant experimentation for the sake of it, yet sometimes if you feel stuck in a rut, it’s often the best way to get a jerk reaction back to life. There are many opportunities at your door; all you need to do is say ‘yes’ more.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21}

You have a mysterious glint in your eye and you can leave people mystified by the possibilities of what you might be thinking. Use your imagination for the betterment of all and avoid trickery, for a more magical life is not a more complicated life.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22}

Investigating and getting to the heart of the matter doesn’t mean that when you get their, your matter vanishes into thin air; it still requires your patience. Still, an incredible feeling surfaces and things are looking better than ever.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22}

It’s all systems ‘GO’ and as you look around you realise these times are precious, in some strange way, these times are the making of you. Remember to appreciate the good grace that comes to you now so not to be complacent.

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

Sometimes when we’re stuck in a traffic jam and the car in front slowly etches forward it gives us the illusion of going backwards, yet all the while we are actually still. The surrounding progress is something you are also a part of.

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

You’re on the verge of a great many changes so keep your finances in order. Your mind starts racing as you’re learning something entirely new about a relationship revolution that’s liberating. You may not know it but you’re on the up.

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Changes have left you feeling a little out in the cold, however one never learns about ones resilience until you have to fight the good fight. Yours can be easily fought and won if you embrace change and stay positive.

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

What is stable and consistently predictable may not be as appealing to you during these times where the unpredictable and the inventive may send your senses into a frenzy. Find new ways to express and feed your love of excitement.

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

You have more power than you realise, in fact, you’ve never had more power. So now that you’re psychologically self aware, what are you going to do with it? Sit on it with a satisfied all knowing look on your face? Or make a difference?

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

Sometimes you have to get out of your own way. You don’t need to change a lot, you’re a mere thought away from making a world of difference. What is inherently within will be magnified through the lens of your perception and become without.

HPISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

You can’t be everything to everyone, even though you naturally try. You are however very special to a select few. Focus on all the support as the quality of your life is determined by exactly what you choose to zoom in on.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 824 – 30 JANUARY There are opening vox pops from 1950’s white South Africans in the street ‘justifying’ the state of affairs. Elder statesmen and women retelling arrests and demonstrations from the 1950s. Members of the international church – I never With Victoria Nangle knew how strongly the church had been involved in trying to bring aid to the ANC’s movement, or that there were actually four states of segregation, not simply the two most well known in South Africa. There is a loud lack of contemporary voices arguing for apartheid. We all recognise now that it don’t know if you’ve had the good fortune to listen was a terrible way, enforced in a manner that tore to your grandparents’ or parents’ stories of their up human rights and decency as well as youth, childhood or impressionable events, but committed all kinds of atrocities in its name – but may I suggest you make a date to do so asap. As the the lack of any voice at all does give the saying goes, ‘we live in interesting times’, with last impression that everyone must have realised that year’s riots, natural disasters and business at the time. What, no repentance and realisation? movements. But it would be a crime to forget the Quite a massive silent indictment of humankind history and events from the 20th century that are from Ms Field here if either nobody learned or still creating echoes and murmurs in the world that everybody knew it was wrong but did it anyway – we’ve witnessed first hand, by those still alive to tell a worry hopefully to be addressed further along in us the most about them. the series. My own strongest This aside, I couldn’t impressions of what was recommend this programme “There are vox pops happening in the world when enough. The first person from 1950’s white South testimonies reminds us how I was at school was the Campaign for Nuclear everything that is Africans ‘justifying’ the recently Disarmament, having a being recounted happened. sticker on my school bag Including Britain’s own state of affairs” that said ‘Coal Not Dole’ (I’m relationship with South ageing myself with that Africa and how it influenced one), and never buying anything with a ‘Cape’ events, even down to my preference for Spanish sticker on it in the supermarket. That meant it was clementines over Cape oranges. produce from South Africa, a land of apartheid, By the way, that is something so instilled I still oppression, Nelson Mandela in prison and avoid anything with a Cape sticker on it, although incidents that needed investigating by Amnesty South African wine seems to be okay. Apartheid International, so we were boycotting their goods. must have ended by the time I was of drinking age. But I couldn’t tell you much more than that. First person records of the huge events of the This remarkable five-part series, written, 20th century are invaluable. From recipes made of directed and produced by Connie Field, brings rations to an undeniable fear that the Cuban together interviews and footage of ANC (African Missile Crisis really could have taken us into a National Congress) members, church leaders, nuclear war. Get the biscuits in and start gathering politicians, events, contemporary testimony, and those stories. Thanks, Grandpa. so much more. It’s the most comprehensive The World Against Apartheid: Have You Heard From history captured on film of a huge injustice and its Johannesburg?, BBC4, Tuesday 24 January space in the global history of the 20th century – follow me on twitter latestvicky and utterly compelling throughout.

Telly Talk

You’re history!


035_LS561_TV_Tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 18/01/2012 11:02 Page 1

tuesday 24 Farewell Becky ITV1, 7.30pm It’s only been six years but Becky McDonald has made them action-packed on Coronation Street. Katherine Kelly tells how she made the character her own, from her first apperance through to those incredible outfits and going hell for leather be it fighting or a full pash. With contributions from the Corrie cast.

Shameless Channel 4, 10pm One thing you can say for the estate, it’s never quiet. Even when it’s supposed to be noisy it gets noisier here! Point in question this week; on a lads’ night out Micky slips off to look for a bit of ‘company’ and ends up the victim of a savage attack. And Aidan falls in with a gang. Not like the Red Hand Gang.

Winners & Losers ITV2, 8pm The Australian drama about four women who win the lottery and the reality of their situation as it begins to sink in. While waiting for the cash to arrive Jenny, Bec, Frances and Sophie reassess what they are doing with their lives. Sounds like darn dangerous thinking before the dosh is in their mits. Hmm.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 The Big Performance 2 3.35 Wingin’ It 4.00 All Over The Place 4.30 Pixelface 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 LazyTown 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 The Large Family 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Bob’s Mini Projects 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Wibbly Pig 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 World Indoor Bowls Championships 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo takes to the tracks with a copy of George Bradshaw’s Victorian Railway Guidebook. 7.00 Escape To The Country Jules Hudson takes a look back at the best Welsh properties featured on past programmes, and visits a working slate mine. 7.30 MOTD Live: League Cup Semi-Final - Cardiff City V Crystal Palace Gary Lineker presents live coverage of the League Cup semifinal second leg between Cardiff City and Crystal Palace. Commentary from Jonathan Pearce and Martin Keown. 10.00 Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience Stand-up comedian Rhod Gilbert tries his hand at being a tattooist’s apprentice. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 Why does your brain look like a giant walnut, how does it fit in enough wiring to stretch four times around the equator and why can a magnet on your head stop you in mid-sentence? 12.20am World Indoor Bowls Championships 1.20 BBC News 4.00 Seriously Raleigh 5.00 After Life: Rot Box Detectives

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 The Hungry Sailors 5.00 The Chase

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 11.00 Secret Location 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.10 River Cottage Bites 1.20 FILM: Blithe Spirit (1945) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Celebrity Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron leaves Hazel with a dilemma. 7.30 Farewell Becky See highlights. 8.00 The Exit List Matt Allwright presents the latest episode of the new game show in which contestants descend into a giant 26-room maze and must try to memorise the answers to the multiple-choice questions they are given in every room. 9.00 The Biggest Loser Davina McCall presents the weight loss competition. With the partners split up into new teams, emotions are running high in the house. Each trainer takes the contestants through their paces in their own individual style, but not everyone is happy with the new arrangement. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Benidorm In an effort to raise Madge’s spirits, Donald and Jacqueline decide to have a whip round to help her back on her feet. But true to form she is not entirely appreciative of their efforts. 11.35 New Homes From Hell Stories from the people whose lives have been ruined by their property adventures overseas. 12.30am The Zone 3.00 Crossing Jordan 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes is on a downward spiral when again Doctor Browning pays her to go out with him 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 The Fat Fighters Documentary series following four elite personal trainers. Tamaya helps out gymphobic Susan. The 36-year-old’s selfconfidence is so low that she will only wear black baggy men’s clothes. 9.00 15 Kids And Counting Documentary series exploring the lives of some of the UK’s biggest families. The Lewis family from Bournemouth have 12 daughters and one son. They’re a family of beauty queens with the girls vying for the top prizes, sometimes in direct competition with each other. 10.00 Shameless See highlights. 11.05 Desperate Housewives Mike begins to think Susan and Carlos are having an affair as the two bond over their feelings of guilt at the murder of Gabrielle’s stepfather. 12.00am Random Acts 12.05 1.10 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 1.35 KOTV Boxing Weekly 2.05 FIVB Indoor Volleyball World League 3.00 GT Academy 3.25 That Paralympic Show 3.55 Paralympic Wheelchair Rugby 4.50 Paralympic European Wheelchair Fencing Championships 5.15 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Miami 3.15 FILM: Uncorked (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Mink asks Romeo for a loan, which he reluctantly agrees to, as long as Indi is not told about it. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit. 8.00 Cowboy Builders Dom Littlewood and Melinda Messenger track down the UK’s most terrible tradesmen and put right their botched jobs. Mel sorts out an extension for a single mum which has destabilised the whole house, while Dom tries to track down the culprit who trades under a variety of names. 9.00 Body Of Proof Medical mystery series. Hunt comes face to face with her old life as a doctor when she reconnects with a former patient. Unfortunately, the old patient does not reappear in the examining room or on the street but instead on a stretcher. 10.00 Celebrity Big Brother Action from the Celebrity Big Brother house. 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round-up of Celebrity Big Brother related news and debate, with special guests. 12.00am Celebrity Wedding Planner 1.00 SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters 4.20 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2) 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 7.30 Netbusters 8.00 SPL Round-Up 8.30 Football League Championship 10.00 Barclays Premier League Review 11.00 Test Cricket 12.00pm Football League Championship 1.30 Barclays Premier League Review 2.30 Test Cricket 3.30 Netbusters 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 Barclays Premier League Review 5.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Barclays Premier League Review 8.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football’s Greatest Managers 11.30 Football Asia 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket (x2)

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Witnessing the drama engulfing the Mitchell household, Derek seizes every opportunity he can to take control of Phil’s empire. 8.00 Holby City Sahira is torn between the two men in her life. She desperately tries to fight her feelings for Greg, but feels vulnerable when she needs his support in an extremely complex heart operation. 9.00 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace set a daunting challenge for the contestants as they continue their search for this year’s best amateur cook. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Death Row Dogs Death Row Dogs looks at the growing problem of illegal fighting dogs on the streets of Britain. 11.30 FILM: Open Range (2003) Starring Robert Duvall, Kevin Costner, Annette Bening, Michael Gambon. Boss and Charlie are a couple of free grazers who let their cattle roam free. They come up against ruthless cattle baron Denton Baxter, who wants all free grazers wiped out. 1.40am Weatherview 1.45 The Manor Reborn 2.45 Nature’s Miracle Babies 3.45 MasterChef: The Professionals 4.45 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 12.30pm PGA Tour Classic 1.30 European Tour Golf 2.30 PGA Tour Golf 3.30 Golfing World 4.30 Warren Miller’s Storm 6.00 Test Cricket 7.00 Sports Unlimited 8.00 Time Of Our Lives 9.00 Football’s Greatest 9.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 10.00 Poker 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 Golfing World 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Football Asia 3.30 Football’s Greatest

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM The Best Bits 9.00 Warren Miller’s Storm 10.30 Fishing Gurus 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics Oz Style 12.00pm Warren Miller’s Storm 1.30 Fishing Gurus 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 SPL Round-Up 3.00 Fishing Gurus 3.30 Soccer AM The Best Bits 4.30 Fishing Gurus 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 British Basketball League 9.00 FIBA World Basketball 9.30 Kings Of The Snow 10.00 Golfing World 11.00 British Basketball League 1.00am FIBA World Basketball 1.30 Poker Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Sun, Sea And A&E 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Got To Dance: Auditions (x2) 9.00 Got To Dance: The Callbacks 9.30 FILM: Men Of Honor (2000) 11.55 35mm 2012 12.25am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2)

7.00pm Winter Wipeout 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands 1.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.30 Little Britain

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Climbing Great Buildings 8.00 Botany: A Blooming History 9.00 Survivors: Nature’s Indestructible Creatures 10.00 The World Against Apartheid - Have You Heard From Johannesburg? 11.00 Song Of Summer 12.15am Survivors: Nature’s Indestructible Creatures

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Winners & Losers. See highlights. 9.00 FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 11.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 12.20am Models, Misfits & Mayhem

9.40am Ironside 10.40 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Born And Bred 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 5.15 Rising Damp 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 Wycliffe 9.00 Rebus 10.00 Blue Murder 11.35 Numb3rs 12.30am Wycliffe

2.35pm 90210 3.30 Desperate Housewives 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Shipwrecked: The Island 9.00 90210 10.00 The Cleveland Show (x2) 11.00 Rude Tube 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

2.55pm Coach Trip 3.25 Beyond River Cottage 4.00 Jamie’s 30-Minute Meals 4.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.35 Relocation, Relocation 6.45 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 24 Hours In A&E 10.00 Confessions Of A Nurse 11.05 The Good Wife 12.05am The Big C

11.00am Dragonwyck (1946) 1.05pm Anne Of The Indies (1951) 2.45 White Feather (1955) 4.50 On The Town (1949) 6.45 Logan’s Run (1976) 9.00 Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past (2009) 10.55 Crossing Over (2009) 1.05am Orphans (1997)


.TV If you want to join us to make a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest Musicbar. 5.30pm Mondays

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036_LS561_TV_Wed_L7wed14apr.qxd 18/01/2012 11:04 Page 1

wednesday 25 Countdown: 8 Out Of 10 Cats Channel 4, 10pm Another chance to catch the special crossover between C4 staples, 8 Out Of 10 Cats and Countdown. Jimmy Carr takes the host’s chair of a very different competition, seeing Sean Lock and Jon Richardson competing to prove their supremacy over the other with their virtuous verbosity and cracking conundrums. Ace.

Jodie Marsh – Bullied: My Secret Past Five, 10pm Jodie Marsh has been documented to have had some rather public spats, but before all that she too was a victim of bullying. She claims it helped make her who she is today, and she talks to young sufferers about their own experiences with those most cowardly of attackers.

Ken Russell: A Bit Of A Devil BBC4, 11pm Yes, this was only on terrestrial telly a couple of weeks ago but it’s well worth a second look as the career of the provocative film director comes under closer scrutiny. Hosted by Alan Yentob and featuring clips from Russell’s works, as well as interviews with friends and colleagues, this is uncompromising creativity.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 The Big Performance 2 3.35 Wingin’ It 4.00 All Over The Place 4.30 My Life: Boy Racers 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Newsround 8.00 Remote Control Star 8.25 LazyTown 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 The Large Family 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Bob’s Mini Projects 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Wibbly Pig 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 World Indoor Bowls Championships 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo takes to the tracks. 7.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British The foodie pair sing the virtues of two mealtimes that are often overlooked; breakfast and high tea. 8.00 Natural World: Jungle Gremlins Of Java The slow loris is the real-life gremlin, extremely cute but with a venom that can kill. Now it’s also a YouTube superstar with millions of hits. Dr Anna Nekaris travels to the jungles of Java to solve the riddle of its toxic bite. 9.00 The Crusades Dr Thomas Asbridge examines the Third Crusade and the two renowned figures who have come to embody Crusader war: Richard the Lionheart, king of England, and the mighty Muslim sultan Saladin, unifier of Islam. 10.00 Have I Got Old News For You Popular news quiz. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 Your brain is constantly being bombarded with information, so how does it decide what to trust and what to ignore, without you even being aware? 12.20am World Indoor Bowls Championships 1.20 BBC News 4.00 Curriculum Bites: International Relations Secondary 5.00 Keeping Loch Lomond 5.30 The Code

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 The Hungry Sailors 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 11.00 Secret Location 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.05 River Cottage Bites 1.25 FILM: The Belles Of St Trinian’s (1955) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Celebrity Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 3.00pm Football Asia 3.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 4.00 Test Cricket (x2) 7.00 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 10.55 Football’s Greatest Managers 11.25 Football’s Greatest 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Hazel says a final goodbye to the village. Charity’s hen night does not go to plan. 7.30 The National Television Awards 2012 Dermot O’Leary presents the 2012 awards show live from London’s 02 Arena. The event honours the past year’s biggest successes on the small screen and is unique in being the only TV awards ceremony in which the winners are voted for by the public. This year’s nominees include Downton Abbey, Doctor Who, The X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing, Miranda, Outnumbered, Come Dine With Me and The Only Way Is Essex as well as actors Matt Smith, Martin Clunes, Karen Gillan and Katherine Kelly. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Constant Gardener (2005) Starring Ralph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz and Bill Nighy. Dramatic thriller based on the novel by John Le Carre. Quiet diplomat Justin Quayle finds his life turned upside down when his activist wife Tessa is murdered in Kenya. But as he starts to investigate her death, he finds himself drawn into the research she was working on before she was killed. 12.50am The Zone 2.55 FILM: Frantic (1988) 4.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Lynsey applies for her old nurse’s position, but potentially ruins her chances. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 How To Cook Like Heston Heston Blumenthal takes a fresh look at the way we cook chicken. He attempts to change the way we roast a chicken by sharing his low and slow cooking technique. 8.30 The Fabulous Baker Brothers This edition focuses on food that takes a long time to prepare but is worth the wait. The brothers make slow-cooked pulled pork, served stuffed into homemade pitta bread. 9.00 One Born Every Minute Fly-on-the-wall documentary series. This episode features two mothers at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to conception and labour. 10.00 Countdown: 8 Out Of 10 Cats See highlights. 10.35 FILM: Run, Fat Boy, Run (2007) Starring Simon Pegg, Thandie Newton, Hank Azaria, Dylan Moran. Romantic comedy. 12.30am Random Acts 12.35 MUSIC ON 4: Launched At Red Bull Studios (x2) 1.05 Curated By Lyle And Scott 1.20 Professor Green Unseen 1.50 4Play: Beardy Man 2.00 FILM: That Riviera Touch (1966) 3.45 St Elsewhere 4.30 Force Of Nature 5.00 Gone Fishing 5.15 Countdown

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Miami 3.10 FILM: Honeymoon With Mom (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away After Sasha is rushed to hospital it is revealed that her tattoo has given her an infection. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Cowboy Builders Mel sorts out an extension for a single mum which has destabilised the whole house, while Dom tries to track down the culprit who trades under a variety of names. 8.00 Benidorm ER Documentary series following the one of the busiest hospitals on the Costa del Sol in Spain. An injured rugby player is warned to keep off the booze, a pensioner has a stroke on her 59th wedding anniversary, and a toddler has a nasty fall by the pool. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Action from the Celebrity Big Brother house. It’s eviction night, but who will be leaving this time? 10.00 Jodie Marsh – Bullied: My Secret Past See highlights. 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother Action from the Celebrity Big Brother house. It is eviction night, but who will be leaving this time? 11.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round up of Celebrity Big Brother related news and debate. 12.30am Pokerstars: The Big Game 1.30 SuperCasino 3.55 HouseBusters 4.20 Nick’s Quest (x2) 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Rip Off Britain Angela Rippon, Gloria Hunniford and Julia Somerville battle on behalf of viewers who feel they have been ripped off or had a raw deal, investigating why they have been left out of pocket – and trying to get their problems resolved. 8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Nick Knowles and the team enlist the help of the local community and guest designer Oliver Heath to transform a post-war prefab house in Dartford into a warm and safe home for the future. 9.00 MasterChef Only 10 contestants remain in the cookery competition, and now they must face the Great British public for the first time. Could you cook that for tea tonight? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10.45 Film 2012 With Claudia Winkleman Film news and reviews with Claudia, and Danny Leigh. 11.25 The League Cup Show Action from the Carling Cup. 12.10am FILM: In Her Defense (1998) 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.20 Country Tracks 3.15 MasterChef: The Professionals 4.15 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 7.30am Football’s Greatest Managers 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 British Basketball League 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00pm Motor Racing Mission Le Mans 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Football’s Greatest Managers 2.30 World Pool Masters 3.30 Revista De La Liga 4.30 Champions Tour Golf 5.30 Asian Tour Golf Show 6.00 Inside The PGA Tour 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 Test Cricket 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Football’s Greatest 12.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Carling Cup Football 2.30 Spanish Football 4.00 Hyundai A League 4.30 Football’s Greatest

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Motor Racing Mission Le Mans 10.30 FIBA World Basketball 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics Oz Style 12.00pm World Pool Masters 1.00 Tenpin Bowling 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 FIBA World Basketball 3.00 British Basketball League 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Time Of Our Lives 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Asian Tour Golf Show 10.30 Inside The PGA Tour 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Watersports World 12.30am Time Of Our Lives 1.30 World Cup Of Pool 2.30 Champions Tour Golf 3.30 Inside The PGA Tour 4.00 European Tour Weekly 4.30 Asian Tour Golf Show

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Sun, Sea And A&E 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life 9.00 Brit Cops 10.00 Mad Dogs 11.00 Cop Squad 12.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2) 1.00 My Holiday Hostage Hell

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 10.00 FILM: Enemy Of The State (1998) 12.05am Family Guy (x2) 12.50 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.50 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.50 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 3.50 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Climbing Great Buildings 8.00 John Sergeant On Tracks Of Empire 9.00 Jonathan Meades On France 10.00 Outnumbered 10.30 Twenty Twelve 11.00 Ken Russell: A Bit Of A Devil. See highlights 12.00am Illuminations: The Private Lives Of Medieval Kings

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Take Me Out 8.15 Take Me Out – The Gossip 9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: James Corden 10.00 National Television Awards: The Party 11.00 FILM: Rumor Has It (2005) 1.00am Matt Cardle: Into The Light

3.05pm Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 5.15 Rising Damp 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Midsomer Murders 11.00 Wire In The Blood 12.55am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 1.50 Film File

1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.30 90210 3.30 Desperate Housewives 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: The Simpsons Movie (2007) 9.45 Rude Tube 2012 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.55 Scrubs (x2)

3.40pm Beyond River Cottage 4.10 Jamie’s 30Minute Meals 4.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.55 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 Seven Dwarves (x2) 11.05 The Secret Millionaire Changed My Life 12.10am Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

11.00am Carousel (1956) 1.35pm Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951) 3.50 Cheyenne Autumn (1964) 6.50 X-Men (2000) 9.00 Sex And The City (2008) 11.45 44 Inch Chest (2009) 1.35am Hud (1963)


.TV Brighton & Hove wins its bid for local TV! Soon, our city will have its very own terrestrial station

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thursday 26 Location, Location, Location Channel 4, 8pm Fancy a spot of fantasy shopping? It’s what all the cool kids are doing. Phil and Kirstie are in Liverpool to help first bring together the disparate lifestyles of Catherine and Veronica into one home, and make sure that single student Kate makes good on her escape plans from communal living.

Putin, Russia And The West BBC2, 9pm He started his career as a KGB spy and yet when he became president Vladimir Putin made himself a valued ally of the West. President for eight years, prime minister for a further four and not looking like leaving any time soon, Putin’s colleagues and the Western statesmen who finally clashed with him discuss the man.

American Idol: Auditions ITV2, 9pm It’s that time again, when we get to feel a little better about the ‘variety’ X Factor brings out of the British woodwork with a good old gander at America’s audition offerings. Will any of them impress the judges J-Lo, Steve-Ty and Rand-J? And how many will tower over the diminutive and ever-supportive Ryan Seacreast?


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 The Big Performance 2 3.35 Wingin’ It 4.00 All Over The Place 4.30 Leonardo 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 LazyTown 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 The Large Family 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Bob’s Mini Projects 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Wibbly Pig 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 World Indoor Bowls Championships 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo takes to the tracks. 7.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British With Lobster, chocolate and the best cuts of meat on offer, the bikers are going gourmet. 8.00 Saxon Hoard: A Golden Discovery Dan Snow travels across the old Kingdom of Mercia to unravel the secrets of one of Britian’s most significant discoveries – the Staffordshire Hoard. The Hoard offers new insight into the Dark Ages, and Dan pieces together the lives of the people living in these long-forgotten kingdoms. 9.00 Putin, Russia And The West See highlights. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Rhod Gilbert hosts with team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding, and guests Jimmy Osmond, Tom Parker from The Wanted, Caroline Flack and Charlie Baker. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2011 In the last of this year’s Christmas Lectures, Professor Bruce Hood investigates how our brains are built to read other people’s minds. 12.20am World Indoor Bowls Championships 1.20 BBC News 4.00 How To Build 1 4.30 How To Build 2 5.00 Inside The Human Body

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 The Hungry Sailors 5.00 The Chase

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 11.00 Secret Location 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.10 FILM: The Third Man (1949) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Celebrity Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm Test Cricket 3.00 Football’s Greatest 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Test Cricket (x3) 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Carling Cup Football 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jai and Charity’s wedding day gets off to a good start. 7.30 Payback Time: Tonight As household debt rises to the five billion mark and the cost of living is at its highest level for years, the programme looks at how ordinary households are borrowing just to fund their day-to-day expenses. 8.00 Emmerdale Jai panics when Charity goes AWOL. Cain suppresses his grief at losing Charity. 8.30 Coronation Street Peter and Carla sail dangerously close to the wind. Steve and Ken drown their sorrows. 9.00 Eternal Law Drama series. A whole community unites behind grieving single mother Gemma Manes, who is on trial for the stabbing of her alleged stalker. As counsel for the prosecution Zak is public enemy number one, while Tom feels that there is more to this lonely and bereaved woman’s story. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show Repeat of last Saturday’s show. 11.35 The Last Word A look at some of the big stories in the region with MPs and other prominent figures. 12.05am Take Me Out 1.00 The Zone 3.00 Payback Time: Tonight 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren uses Jack’s wedding gift to buy betting chips at the casino. Will he slip back into his old, destructive ways? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Location, Location, Location See highlights. 9.00 The Restoration Man George Clarke helps school bursar Tim and teacher Emma Verdon, who have bought a derelict Victorian brickworks in rural Oxfordshire planning to convert it into a comfortable family home. Set in six acres of land, the unlisted Engine House has no roof, and Tim and Emma need George to design a sympathetic extension. 10.00 Japan’s Tsunami: Caught On Camera Documentary capturing the impact of the earthquake and tsunami that devastated Japan in early 2011, using amateur footage filmed by those caught up in the disaster. 11.25 Random Acts 11.30 Coppers Hard-hitting documentary series which provides a rare insight into the realities of policing modern Britain. 12.30am Party Paramedics 1.30 Hunting Britain’s Most Wanted 2.25 Portrait Of A Young Man Drowning 2.35 Six Shooter 3.05 Get The Picture 3.15 Britain AD: King Arthur’s Britain 4.15 Lost Buildings Of Britain 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Sali Mali

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Milkshake! Monkey 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 11.40 5 News Lunchtime 11.45 Celebrity Big Brother 12.45pm Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.10 FILM: Bridge Of Time (1997) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Leah confronts Miles, suggesting he is unhappy at the thought of having no more children, and he does not disagree. 6.30 Five News 7.00 Building The Ice Hotel This film follows artistic director Ake Larson and architect Arne Bergh, as they turn 30,000 tons of snow and 10,000 tons of ice into the coolest place to stay on the planet: the ICEHOTEL, high up in the north of Sweden, well within the Arctic Circle. It’s a challenge of towering proportions. 8.00 World’s Greatest Daredevils This documentary gathers together the most spectacular footage of some of the most dangerous stunts ever caught on film. Featuring kite-surfers, base-jumpers, freestyle motorcyclists, kayakers and climbers, this is the ultimate collection of thrill seekers. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Action from the Celebrity Big Brother house. 10.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round up of Celebrity Big Brother related news and debate. 11.00 It’s All About Amy Documentary series following reality star Amy Childs. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.50 HouseBusters 4.15 Nick’s Quest (x2) 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Derek’s plan to control the Mitchells’ businesses starts to take shape, but when a furious Shirley discovers what he is up to, she vows to see Phil to find out what is going on. 8.00 Earthflight In this bird’s-eye view of two continents, demoiselle cranes negotiate a dangerous Himalayan pass on their way to India while high-flying bar-headed geese take the fast track five miles above. 9.00 Crimewatch Detectives from across the UK appeal for help in solving some of the UK’s biggest cases. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Crimewatch Update Kirsty Young and Matthew Amroliwala present the latest developments on the cases featured in the programme. 10.45 Question Time Question Time comes from Plymouth, where David Dimbleby chairs the debate. 11.45 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, with guests. 12.30am Skiing Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: Train Fares: Taken For A Ride? – Panorama 1.05 Countryfile 2.05 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 2.50 Britain’s Killer Roads 3.35 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 7.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.00 Carling Cup Football 9.30 Inside The PGA Tour 10.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Champions Tour Golf 2.00 Spanish Football 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 Hyundai A League 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Ringside 7.00 Carling Cup Football Special 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 NFL - Total Access 12.00am Ringside 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Time Of Our Lives 3.30 Carling Cup Football Special 4.30 Ringside

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 Asian Tour Golf Show 9.30 Spanish Football 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Trans World Sport 12.30pm Carling Cup Football 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 Extreme Carp 3.00 World Cup Of Pool 4.00 WWE Vintage Collection 5.00 WWE Special OMG! The Top 50 Incidents In WWE History 6.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am PGA Tour Golf

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Sun, Sea And A&E 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 Mad Dogs 10.00 Stella 11.00 NCIS: LA 12.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2) 1.00 My Holiday Hostage Hell 1.50 Fringe

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands 9.00 Strictly Soulmates 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Strictly Soulmates 1.30 Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1977 8.00 Airline: The Story Of Pan Am 9.00 We’ll Take Manhattan 10.30 David Bailey: Four Beats To The Bar And No Cheating 11.25 Airline: The Story Of Pan Am 12.25am Top Of The Pops: 1977 1.00 We’ll Take Manhattan 2.30 Four Beats To The Bar And No Cheating

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Exit List 8.00 Help! I Caught It Abroad 9.00 American Idol: Auditions. See highlights. (x2) 11.00 Ghosthunting With The Only Way Is Essex 12.30am Coronation Street 1.00 Farewell Becky

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Born And Bred 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 5.10 Rising Damp 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Born And Bred 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Whitechapel 11.05 FILM: Empire Of The Sun (1988) 1.55am Drama Trails

7.00pm Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 Rules Of Engagement 9.00 How I Met Your Mother 9.30 Happy Endings 10.00 Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy 10.30 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night 11.20 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.20am How I Met Your Mother 12.50 Scrubs (x2)

4.00pm Jamie’s 30-Minute Meals 4.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.40 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 The Big C 10.35 Saving Grace 11.35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.40am The Good Wife 1.40 The Big C

11.00am La Regle Du Jeu (1939) 1.05pm The Comancheros (1961) 3.10 The Desert Fox (1951) 4.55 Heaven Can Wait (1943) 7.05 Big Business (1988) 9.00 East Is East (1999) 10.50 District 13 (2004) 12.30am Dogtown And Z-Boys (2001) 2.20 The Woodsman (2004)



Brighton Lights 36

Val Aviv goes clubbing with EastEnders’ Dot Cotton & puts the questions few would dare ask to the star

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friday 27 Hustle BBC1, 9pm Right, so the mark is all lined up with the cleverness of Mickey’s plans ensuring that the dastardly owner of an online travel guide is all set to receive his comeuppance when who should appear on the sidelines but Sean’s ex. This is no fluke. She’s been sent in by corrupt cop DI Fisk to bring down the gang. No!

Celebrity Big Brother: Live Final Five, 9pm Have you fallen in love with one of them yet? Have they fallen in love with each other yet? Has Hello magazine bought their hat for the wedding? It’s all to play for as Brian Dowling struts in anticipation of your votes and the celebs’ reactions to them. That Iceland contract is waiting.

How I Met Your Mother E4, 7.30pm Ted, the hopeless romantic, is so set on finding ‘The One’ that he starts to think maybe he’s already met her and missed out on the signs. Hmm. With this in mind he rings up an ex-girlfriend he dumped three years previously to try and win her round to give it another go. Go on! You will? She will! Yay! Ted’s not sure. Dude!


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Britain’s Empty Homes 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 The Big Performance 2 3.35 Wingin’ It 4.00 All Over The Place 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. 8.00 EastEnders Shirley finally manages to get Phil to see her, but she is shocked when she realises he is aware of everything she has been trying to protect him from. 8.30 Room 101 Frank Skinner invites MasterChef’s Gregg Wallace, comedian Sarah Millican and television presenter Gabby Logan to compete to have their pet hates and peeves consigned to Room 101. 9.00 Hustle See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show. Expect the unexpected. Boo! 11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.30 FILM: Starship Troopers (1997) Starring Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer, Denise Richards, Jake Busey, Neil Patrick Harris. Science fiction adventure in which a futuristic, militarised Earth is threatened by regiments of giant insects from outer space. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: Question Time 2.30 MasterChef: The Professionals 3.30 BBC News


6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 LazyTown 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 The Large Family 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Bob’s Mini Projects 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Wibbly Pig 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 World Indoor Bowls Championships 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo takes to the tracks. 7.00 Great Barrier Reef Monty Halls explores Australia’s Great Barrier Reef. 8.00 Mastermind Subjects are the history of New York, The Women’s Institute, the life and work of Augustus Pugin and Wimbledon Singles since 1990. 8.30 On Hannibal’s Trail The Wood brothers cycle north along the east coast of Spain. 9.00 Cash In China’s Attic: A Culture Show Special China’s antique trade is booming. But why is this market exploding now, and what makes a piece of pottery into a million pound masterpiece? 10.00 QI Stephen Fry casts light on the subject of illumination. With Jack Dee, Chris Addison, Rich Hall and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 The Review Show Kirsty Wark and guests review the Royal Academy’s major David Hockney exhibition, and George Clooney’s latest film, The Descendants. 11.50 FILM: The Notorious Bettie Page (2005) Starring Gretchen Mol. Biopic of ‘Queen of the Pinups’ Bettie Page. 1.20am World Indoor Bowls Championships 2.20 BBC News


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 The Hungry Sailors 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The Spencers’ money troubles escalate. Debbie struggles to keep the peace between Cameron and Andy. 7.30 Coronation Street Is the game up for Peter and Carla? News of Eileen and Paul’s relationship causes speculation on the Street. 8.00 Safari Vet School In this episode, a mother giraffe and her baby have to be moved to another game reserve – but first they must be caught. Or ‘spotted’. Sorry. 8.30 Coronation Street Frank’s new evidence leaves him more determined than ever. 9.00 Law & Order: UK The team investigate after an elderly janitor is murdered in his home, but the crime has been carried out with such precision and planning that the only evidence the killer leaves is designed to lead the detectives down a series of false trails. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Jaws 2 (1978) Starring Roy Scheider, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton. Horror sequel. Having recovered from the grisly events of four years ago, Amity Island is once again packed with tourists. Toothy grin anyone? 12.45am The Zone 2.45 FILM: Ray (2004) 5.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 11.00 Secret Location 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.10 River Cottage Bites 1.25 FILM: Brighton Rock (1947) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Celebrity Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren tells Nancy about his night at the casino. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 7.35 Come Dine With Me Reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host. Australian comedian Colin Cole, tennis coach Josh Harvey, Marilyn Monroe lookalike Suzie Kennedy and teacher Rachel Melito compete for the cash 8.30 New Girl US flatshare sitcom. Nick sets up a date with his sarcastic colleague Amanda, but loses his confidence when Jess accidentally walks in on him while getting ready. 9.00 The Million Pound Drop Live Davina McCall hosts the game show in which contestants are given a million pounds at the start of the show but then face eight tough questions in order to hold on to it. 10.30 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night The comedy quiz with Chris Moyles, who is joined by guests Amir Khan, Gok Wan and Dappy. 11.20 Rude Tube Alex Zane presents the funniest, strangest and most outrageous clips from the internet. 12.25am FILM: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004) 2.15 Random Acts 2.20 Swimming 2.40 Meeting Helen 2.50 The Fishmonger 2.55 My Name Is Earl 3.20 Hung (x2) 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Hoobs

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Castle Farm 7.00 Little Princess 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.15 FILM: See Jane Date (2003) 5.00 5 News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Leah and Miles cope with separation by both turning to Elijah. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers The drivers on the continent do their utmost to avoid ending up with a cargo of illegal stowaways. The truckers get a glimpse of glamour when they deliver a consignment of polo ponies, and another Eddie Stobart driver negotiates a particularly tricky farmyard track. 8.00 World’s Toughest Trucker Eight experienced truck drivers compete to win a £100,000 prize and the title of ‘World’s Toughest Trucker’. The six remaining truckers travel deep into the Amazon rainforest to deliver boats to a fishing community along brutal, unforgiving dirt tracks. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Final See highlights. 10.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round up of Celebrity Big Brother related news and debate, with special guests, exclusive footage and behind the scenes treats. 11.30 Comedy Kings: Best Of Just For Laughs Coverage from the Just for Laughs comedy festival in Montreal. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.50 Motorsport Mundial 4.15 Nick’s Quest (x2) 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm Test Cricket 3.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 3.30 Barclays Premier League World 4.00 Test Cricket 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Test Cricket 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Football League Weekend 11.00 Take It Like A Fan 11.30 Road To London 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 Carling Cup Football Special 10.00 Live European Tour Golf 1.00pm Carling Cup Football Special 2.00 Spanish Football 3.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 4.00 Carling Cup Football Special 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 LIVE World Snooker Shootout 10.00 Tight Lines 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Football League Weekend 1.00 Take It Like A Fan 1.30 Barclays Premier League World 2.00 NFL – Total Access 3.00 Football League Weekend 4.00 Take It Like A Fan 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 NFL – Total Access

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 Ringside 10.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 10.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics Oz Style 12.00pm Ringside 1.00 The Rugby Club 2.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 2.30 Kings Of The Snow 3.00 WWE Special OMG! The Top 50 Incidents In WWE History 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Road To London 4.30 Tight Lines 5.30 Powerboating

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Sun, Sea And A&E 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Futurama 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Stella 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear USA (x2) 8.30 The Real Hustle: Celebrity Chancers 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 9.30 World’s Craziest Fools 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am American Dad! (x2) 1.00 The Real Hustle: Celebrity Chancers

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Britten’s Children 9.00 How The Brits Rocked America: Go West 10.00 The Beatles: The First US Visit 11.10 Vox Pop: How Dartford Powered The British Beat Boom 11.40 The Electric Proms 12.40am How The Brits Rocked America: Go West 1.40 The Beatles: The First US Visit

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 8.00 New You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 9.00 American Idol: Auditions 10.00 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) 12.15am The Jonathan Ross Show

1.55pm Born And Bred 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 5.15 Rising Damp 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Martina Cole’s Lady Killers 10.00 Kidnap And Ransom 11.05 FILM: Bloody Sunday (2002) 1.10am Rebecca

2.35pm 90210 3.30 Desperate Housewives 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 4.55 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother. See highlights. 8.00 FILM: Taxi (2004) 10.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop (1984) 12.05am Playing It Straight 1.10 The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.40pm Beyond River Cottage 4.10 Jamie’s 30Minute Meals 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 Mary Portas: Secret Shopper 10.00 Country House Rescue 11.05 FILM: Alfie (2004) 1.10am Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

11.00am Bugles In The Afternoon (1952) 12.40pm On The Town (1949) 2.35 Seven Days To Noon (1950) 4.30 The Thief Of Bagdad (1940) 6.35 Elizabethtown (2005) 9.00 Independence Day (1996) 11.45 District 13: Ultimatum (2008) 1.40am The Dangerous Lives Of Altar Boys (2001)



Guy Does...

He’s done leg waxing for charity – and he’s joined The Hoosiers for the day. Now see Guy on the Brighton Wheel

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saturday 28 The Magicians BBC1, 6.35pm More celebrities team up with those magical folk to do a few awe-inspiring tricks and win the public’s votes. This week Latimer is joined by Myleene Klass, Pete Firman (left) is paired with Adam Woodyatt (aka Ian Beale) and double darkness Barry and Stuart team up with Holby City’s Tina Hobley. Ooooh! Ahhhhh!

The Jonathan Ross Show ITV1, 9.30pm Can’t wait for those Muppets next week in the movie? Neither can film buff Jonathan. Natch. So he’s only gone and invited them onto his chat show. Ask him how he feels interviewing a frog and a pig – go on. Joining the illustrious Muppets on the couch are comic Jack Whitehall and Downton Abbey’s Hugh Bonneville.

Borgen BBC4, 9pm & 9.55pm BBC4 really is coming into its own with an identity associated with rogue quality dramas and well-researched, sharp documentaries. Yay! While BBC2 lost its edge BBC4 has benefited. Not least with Danish dramas. The political thriller continues, and illegal surveillance of a leftwing party comes to light. Uh oh.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 British Olympic Dreams: A Winter Youth Olympic Special 1.30 Athletics: UK Indoor Match 4.30 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.35 Winter Wipeout

6.35 The Magicians See highlights. 7.50 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins Time to win lots of money, if you fancy it. If you don’t no worries. Your mate might be winning and you can always nip next door and borrow a tenner whilst they’re feeling flush. Just saying. Everyone can benefit. 8.40 Casualty Hospital drama. Linda is faced with a problem when Denise fails to return for Britney and Joe, and Dylan meets his match when he treats an acerbic homeless man involved in a traffic accident. 9.30 BBC News 9.50 FILM: The Rock (1996) Starring Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, John Spencer, David Morse, William Forsythe, Michael Biehn, Vanessa Marcil, John C McGinley, Gregory Sporleder, Tony Todd and Bokeem Woodbine. Action thriller about a war hero who holds San Francisco to ransom, and the FBI scientist charged with stopping him. The deranged general and his men take the disused prison island of Alcatraz, threatening to unleash chemical warheads unless their demands are met. 11.55 The Football League Show Highlights and analysis from the Football League. 12.35am FILM: The Cat And The Canary (1978) 2.10 Weatherview 2.15 BBC News



6.00am Little Robots 6.10 Zigby 6.25 Finley The Fire Engine 6.35 Octonauts 6.45 Everything’s Rosie 7.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 7.30 Dennis & Gnasher 7.45 Shaun The Sheep 7.55 The Ministry Of Curious Stuff 8.25 Tennis: Australian Open 2012 Women’s Final 11.30 Homes Under The Hammer 12.00pm FILM: Island In The Sky (1953) 1.45 Escape To The Country 2.30 World Indoor Bowls Championships 4.35 FILM: Galaxy Quest (1999)

6.00–8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Almost Naked Animals 8.20 Almost Naked Animals 8.30 Hannah Montana 9.00 Fort Boyard – Ultimate Challenge 9.25 ITV News 9.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.25 May The Best House Win 11.25 This Morning: Saturday 11.55 ITV News & Weather 12.00pm FA Cup Fourth Round Live: Liverpool V Manchester United 3.05 FILM: The Incredible Hulk (2008) 5.15 Meridian News And Weather 5.30 ITV News & Weather 5.45 All New You’ve Been Framed!

6.10 Flog It! Members of the public are invited to try to make money out of their antiques by taking a risk at auction. 7.10 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. The crew use their rifles and their wits to compete for the honour of guarding a VIP. 7.40 Timewatch A film examining the debutante experience of 1939 through the eyes of a colourful collection of debs and debs’ delights. 8.30 FILM: The Duchess (2008) Starring Keira Knightley, Ralph Fiennes, Charlotte Rampling, Dominic Cooper. Period drama based on the tumultuous life of the 18th-century Duchess of Devonshire, a bright, popular aristocrat who is trapped in a failed marriage and has to face personal conflicts – including living with her husband’s mistress and falling passionately in love with a young politician. Based on Amanda Foreman’s bestselling novel Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. 10.10 Pan Am US drama series set in the 1960s, centred around the former airline Pan American World Airways. 10.50 Pan Am US drama series. More high flying drama. 11.35 TOTP 2 Fast-moving music show featuring classic performances. 12.05am World Indoor Bowls Highlights 1.05 FILM: Day Of The Dead (1985)

6.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Big-collared comic Harry Hill presents a compilation of classic moments. 7.15 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness plays matchmaker to 30 single ladies. Descending in the love lift this week are wedding singer Norman from Wigan, and Glasgow fitness model Fabio and Bobby, a cheeky undertaker from Dagenham. Will any of the bachelors manage to impress the girls and bag themselves a hot date on the Isle of Fernando’s? Anyone thought of sending them all there and seeing who gets up to what? Just a suggestion. 8.30 The Talent Show Story Victoria Wood narrates a documentary series looking back at the history of talent shows on British TV. This episode focuses on the role child stars have played in talent show history, including the tragic story of Opportunity Knocks winner Lena Zavaroni. There is also a look at how Britain’s Got Talent has brought younger performers, such as Connie Talbot, back to our screens. 9.30 The Jonathan Ross Show See highlights. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 The FA Cup Highlights Matt Smith presents highlights of the day’s FA Cup fourth round matches. 12.15am Celebrity Juice 12.50 The Zone 3.00 In Plain Sight 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 That Paralympic Show 7.00 FIVB Indoor Volleyball World League 7.55 The Morning Line 8.55 Everyone’s Talking About...Top 10 9.25 Live And Lost With Blackberry 9.55 The Big Bang Theory 10.25 Desperate Scousewives 11.25 The Simpsons 12.00pm New Girl 12.30 Playing It Straight 1.25 The Big Bang Theory 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.25 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x2) 6.05 Channel 4 News 6.35 6.40 FILM: Crocodile Dundee (1986) Starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon. Comedy about an unconventional, laid-back Australian crocodile hunter who gives an American reporter a taste of his hair-raising adventures. 8.30 The Million Pound Drop Live Davina McCall hosts the game show in which contestants are given a million pounds at the start of the show but then face eight tough questions in order to hold on to it. 10.05 FILM: Clear And Present Danger (1994) Starring Harrison Ford, Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer, Joaquim de Almeida, Henry Czerny, James Earl Jones. Blockbusting thriller in which CIA agent Jack Ryan locks horns with drug cartels and corrupt politicians after the murder of a prominent senator. After discovering the link between the senator and the Colombian cartels, Ryan delves deeper and realises that he is not the only agent to be involved in the investigation. It soon becomes clear that the President himself has something to hide. The sequel to Patriot Games. 12.50am Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night 1.35 FILM: Friday Night In (2003) 1.45 FILM: The Warlords (2007) 3.40 This Is Me 3.45 St Elsewhere 4.35 90210 5.15 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00–8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Little Princess 8.20 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.35 Angelina Ballerina 8.50 Rupert Bear 9.05 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.20 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 Inside Hollywood 10.10 It’s All About Amy 11.10 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Final 12.40pm FILM: Murder, She Said (1961) 2.25 FILM: Black Horse Canyon (1954) 4.05 FILM: Man In The Wilderness (1971) 6.05 FILM: Police Academy 3: Back In Training (1986) Starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf, Michael Winslow. Slapstick comedy in which the incompetent cops must save their beloved academy from closure. 7.35 5 News Weekend 7.40 NCIS Drama series. The team must investigate when a bank at Quantico is robbed. 8.30 NCIS Drama series. Gibbs’ team is ordered to break into a secure facility – but the mission is a decoy to catch a mole in NCIS. 9.30 CSI: NY Crime drama. On the 10th anniversary of 9/11, Mac and the team remember specific moments from that day. 10.30 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series. The detectives have to investigate when a couple are accused of abusing their foster child. 11.30 CSI: NY Crime drama series. Sela Ward joins the cast as feisty ex-FBI agent Jo Danville, and her first day at work goes off with a bang when she finds a body in the crime lab. Elsewhere, Lindsay receives a bravery award. 12.25am SuperCasino 4.00 Great Artists 4.25 Divine Designs 4.50 County Secrets 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm LIVE Rugby Union 4.30 LIVE International Rugby Union 7.00 Test Cricket 9.00 LIVE Fight Night 11.00 International Rugby Union 12.30am NFL – Total Access 1.30 Fight Night 3.30 Test Cricket 5.30 H20 Powerboating 2011

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 7.30 Take It Like A Fan 8.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 8.30 Football League Weekend 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE World Snooker Shootout 4.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 4.30 H20 Powerboating 2011 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 LIVE World Snooker Shootout 10.00 Test Cricket (x2) 1.00am Spanish Football 2.30 International Rugby Union 4.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 4.30 Spanish Football

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Ringside 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm H20 Powerboating 2011 1.30 Road To London 2.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 3.00 Test Cricket (x2) 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am Test Cricket 2.00 Max Power 3.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 Max Power

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm 35mm 2012 12.30 Customs UK 1.00 Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut (x5) 3.30 Futurama 4.00 The Lion Man (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 FILM: Indecent Proposal (1993) 11.15 Cop Squad 12.15am 1,000 Ways To Die (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who 8.30 FILM: Bee Movie (2007) 9.55 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 10.50 Family Guy (x4) 12.20am American Dad! (x2) 1.05 Little Britain 1.35 Bizarre Crime 2.05 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 3.05 Coming Out Diaries 4.05 The Career Crashers

7.00pm Survivors: Nature’s Indestructible Creatures 8.00 Atlantis: The Evidence – A Timewatch Special 9.00 Borgen (x2). See higlhights. 10.55 Top Of The Pops: 1977 11.35 Airline: The Story Of Pan Am 12.35am The Rise And Fall Of The Ad Man 1.35 Atlantis: The Evidence – A Timewatch Special

12.55pm FILM: Back To The Future (1985) 3.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 3.40 American Idol: Auditions (x3) 6.25 FILM: Batteries Not Included (1987) 8.30 Take Me Out – The Gossip 9.15 FILM: Rumor Has It (2005) 11.15 The Only Way Is EsseXmas 12.20am #TweetsOfTheYear 1.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

6.00am FILM: From Time To Time (2009) 7.45 Goodnight Sweetheart 8.20 Upstairs, Downstairs (x2) 10.35 Torvill & Dean: Dancing On Ice Tour 2011 11.40 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x7) 1.05am Wycliffe 2.00 ITV3 Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping (x7)

4.05pm Perfect Couples (x2) 5.05 Scrubs (x2) 6.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Happy Endings 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Rules Of Engagement 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop (1984) 11.05 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.55 The Cleveland Show (x2) 12.55am Allen Gregory

2.00pm Coach Trip (x5) 4.40 Vacation, Vacation, Vacation (x2) 5.50 Relocation: Phil Down Under 6.55 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain 7.55 Location, Location, Location (x2) 10.00 Kirstie And Phil’s Embarrassing Bits 10.50 FILM: As Good As It Gets (1997) 1.35am FILM: Alfie (2004)

11.00am The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 1.00pm The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008) 2.55 Paper Moon (1973) 5.00 A Walk In The Clouds (1995) 7.00 X-Men (2000) 9.00 Predator (1987) 11.05 Alien (1979) 1.20am I’m A Cyborg, But That’s OK (2006)



The Vote

The Vote is Brighton & Hove’s answer to Question Time! Watch as three heavyweight politicians debate the big political issues in Brighton and Hove.

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040_LS561_TV_Sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 20/01/2012 14:07 Page 1

sunday 29 The One Griff Rhys Jones BBC1, 10.50pm Griff Rhys Jones is making a spectacular return to sketch comedy on the BBC. With the help from friends such as Larry Lamb, Hugh Bonneville and old comedy partner Mel Smith, he delivers a range of fresh and humorous sketches, guaranteed to lift your spirits on a Sunday evening.

Dancing on ice ITV1, 6.45pm Here they are, back again to chase away our Winter blues. Philip Schofield and Christine Bleakley present the everpopular celebrity ice-dancing competition. It’s an exciting week as Torville and Dean announce a dramatic new twist. Again, viewers are given the chance to vote for their favourites to stay.

The Only Way is Essex ITV2, 10.00pm Well here’s some good news for the reality TV addicts, popular reality docu-soap TOWIE is returning to our screens again for a fourth series. With the departure of Mark Wright and Amy Childs in previous series, expect to see some new cast members being thrown into the mix.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm Sunday Politics 1.05 EastEnders 3.00 The Royal Bodyguard 3.30 Penguin Island 4.00 Earthflight 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 Antiques Roadshow

6.00am Little Robots 6.10 Zigby 6.25 Finley The Fire Engine 6.35 Octonauts 6.45 Everything’s Rosie 7.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 7.30 Dennis & Gnasher 7.45 Ultimate Sports Day 8.15 Tennis: Australian Open 2012 Men’s Final 12.00pm Escape To The Country 1.00 European Figure Skating Championships 2.30 World Indoor Bowls Championships 5.15 Ski Sunday

6.35 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile 8.00 Call The Midwife Drama about a newly-trained midwife in 1950s London. During her rounds she attends to Joe, a gentle old soldier, and a friendship forms. At the antenatal clinic Trixie and Cynthia enrol Winnie Lawson, a new patient. 9.00 Birdsong Epic love story set against the First World War. As Stephen Wraysford recovers from his injuries and prepares for a major offensive, he is still haunted by the legacy of his affair with Isabelle Azaire. Amidst the horror of the trenches, Stephen unexpectedly finds comfort in his friendship with Jack Firebrace, who shows him that there is a future worth fighting for. 10.25 BBC News 10.40 South East Today 10.50 The One Griff Rhys Jones See highlights. 11.30 Room 101 – Extra Storage Extended edition of Room 101. Host Frank Skinner invites MasterChef’s Gregg Wallace, comedian Sarah Millican and television presenter Gabby Logan to compete to have their pet hates and peeves consigned to Room 101. 12.10am Weatherview 12.15 Sign Zone. 4.10 BBC News

6.00 The Last Explorers Archaeologist and writer Neil Oliver follows in the footsteps of four Scottish explorers. In this episode, he charts the remarkable story of William Speirs Bruce, one of Britain’s great but least-known explorers. 7.00 Sir Jimmy Savile At The BBC: How’s About That Then? An affectionate tribute to Jimmy Savile via the BBC. 8.00 Top Gear Motoring show. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May head to Italy for a supercar shootout featuring the Lamborghini Aventador. 9.00 Toughest Place To Be Series in which British workers are challenged to do their job under some of the toughest conditions in the world. Wilbur Ramirez, a binman from London, heads to the vast mega city of Jakarta, one of the biggest and fastest growing cities in the world. 10.00 God Bless Ozzy Osbourne 11.30 FILM: The Science Of Sleep (2006) Starring Gael Garcia Bernal and Charlotte Gainsbourg.A romantic comedy. Half-French/Half-Mexican Stephane returns to his native Paris and moves back into his childhood home. He soon falls for his neighbour Stephanie – who also seems to share in his love of DIY creativity and tendency to get lost in reverie... 1.10am BBC News


6.00am Boblins 6.10 Fireman Sam 6.20 Babar And The Adventures Of Badou 6.35 Special Agent Oso (2) 7.00 Olly The Little White Van 7.05 Olly The Little White Van 7.10 Tati’s Hotel 7.25 Monk 7.30 Spider-Man 7.50 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.05 Horrid Henry (x2) 8.30 Big Time Rush 9.25 ITV News 9.30 The FA Cup Highlights 11.00 Dinner Date 12.00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 12.55 ITV News & Weather 1.00 FA Cup Fourth Round Live: Sunderland V Middlesbrough 4.00 Vera 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents more of the nation’s funniest home videos. Repeat of yesterday’s show. 6.25 Meridian News And Weather 6.35 ITV News & Weather 6.45 Dancing On Ice See highlights. 8.30 Wild At Heart Drama series set on an South African nature reserve. Caroline is still furious at what she sees as a betrayal when Danny agrees to work with old rival Ed Lynch. rival Ed Lynch. But later, when a bush fire spirals out of control and a leopard is badly injured, Caroline has to help Lynch perform an operation on the animal, and she begins to see another side to him. 9.30 Dancing On Ice: The Skate-Off Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley reveal how the public have voted. Which stars must battle it out in the skate-off? With judges Robin Cousins, Katarina Witt and Louie Spence. 10.00 That Sunday Night Show Adrian Chiles rounds up the big events and news stories of the week with the help of funnyman Ross Noble and Spice Girl Melanie Chisholm. 10.30 ITV News & Weather 10.45 The FA Cup Highlights 11.30 LV= Rugby Highlights 12.20am The Zone 2.00 Ladette To Lady 2.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2)7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 7.30 The Mark Webber Challenge 8.25 One Tree Hill 9.15 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.45 The Big Bang Theory 12.15pm Shipwrecked: The Island 1.20 The Simpsons 1.55 The Simpsons 2.30 FILM: Son Of The Mask (2005) 4.20 Deal Or No Deal 5.25 Channel 4 News 5.55

6.00 Time Team Archaeology series. Tony Robinson and the team enlist the help of the locals in the Shropshire village of Bitterley to help dig in the civil parish and surrounding area. 7.00 Hugh’s Three Hungry Boys Celebrity chef Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall challenges three best friends to travel from River Cottage in Devon to Lands’ End without any money. 8.00 The Hotel Documentary series capturing life behind-the-scenes at The Grosvenor in Torquay, a typical three-star British holiday hotel. 9.00 FILM: The Ghost (2008) Starring Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan and Kim Cattrall. A ghostwriter hired to complete the memoirs of a former British prime minister uncovers secrets that put his own life in jeopardy. 11.35 FILM: Predator 2 (1990) Starring Danny Glover and Gary Busey. Horror sequel finds another alien killer on the rampage, this time terrorising the lawless streets of Los Angeles. When cops start dying, a tough detective goes on the beast’s trail. A huge helping of non-stop action and gore for fans of the original. 1.35am Coming Up 2.05 St Elsewhere 2.50 90210 3.35 My Dream 4.30 Lost Buildings Of Britain 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00–8.35am Children’s television 8.35 Angelina Ballerina 8.50 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 Milkshake! Monkey 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 Animal Rescue Squad 10.15 Meerkat Manor 10.50 Grey’s Anatomy 11.45 Cowboy Builders 12.45pm FILM: A Ring Of Endless Light (2002) 2.30 FILM: Tinker Bell And The Lost Treasure (2009) 4.05 FILM: Fairytale: A True Story (1997) 5.55 FILM: Shanghai Noon (2000) 8.00 World’s Greatest Daredevils Nailbiting Documentary gathering together spectacular footage of some of the most dangerous stunts ever caught on film. Featuring kite-surfers, base-jumpers, freestyle motorcyclists, kayakers and climbers, this is the ultimate collection of thrill seekers and risk takers doing what they love most of all. 8.55 5 News 9.00 FILM: Bad Boys(1995) Starring Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Tea Leoni, Tcheky Karyo, Theresa Randle and Marg Helgenberger. Action thriller about two wisecracking cops forced to swap identities in order to track down $100 million of heroin stolen from the police. Their only lead is a young woman who can identify the culprits, but when they track her down she mistakes one of the cops for his partner, forcing the pair into a bizarre and chaotic life swap. from the police. 11.25 FILM: Storm Catcher (1999) Starring Dolph Lundgren, Mystro Clark and Jong Pennell. Thriller about a high-ranking test pilot who becomes an enemy of the state when he is framed for murder. 1.10am SuperCasino 4.00 County Secrets 4.10 Great Scientists 4.40 Divine Designs 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm LIVE Snooker: World Snooker Shootout 4.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 5.00 Test Cricket 7.00 Football’s Greatest 7.30 Football’s Greatest 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.30 Football’s Greatest Managers (x2) 11.30 LIVE NFL: Pro Bowl 3.00am Football’s Greatest Managers 3.30 Spanish Football 5.00 Spirit Of Yachting 5.30 Football’s Greatest Managers

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Watersports World 7.30 Spirit Of Yachting 8.00 Spanish Football 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 12.00pm Football’s Greatest (x2) 1.00 Fight Night 3.00 LIVE Hockey 6.00 Canter Banter 6.30 Spirit Of Yachting 7.00 LIVE Snooker: World Snooker Shootout 9.00 Test Cricket 11.00 Spirit Of Yachting 11.30 World Snooker Shootout 1.30am Spanish Football 3.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Road To London 7.30 Canter Banter 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Spirit Of Yachting 1.30 International Rugby Union 3.00 Racemax 4.00 European Tour Golf 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.30 European Tour Golf 1.30am Canter Banter 2.00 Spirit Of Yachting 2.30 Close

Beth Hinchcliffe

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Dog The Bounty Hunter (x6) 3.00 Gadget Geeks 4.00 Futurama 4.30 The Simpsons (x3) 6.00 Got To Dance: Live Semi-Final 7.30 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 8.30 Futurama 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Cop Squad 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Caprica 1.50 1,000 Ways To Die (x2)

7.00pm Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands 8.00 Young Baker Of The Year 9.00 Young Soldiers 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 12.30am Young Baker Of The Year 1.30 FILM: Win A Date With Tad Hamilton! (2004) 3.00 Young Soldiers

7.00pm The Last Days Of The Liners 8.00 Treasures Of Chinese Porcelain 9.00 FILM: Flame And Citron (2009) 11.05 Toni And Rosi 12.05am How The Brits Rocked America: Go West 1.10 The Beatles: The First US Visit 2.20 The Electric Proms 3.20 Vox Pop: How Dartford Powered The British Beat Boom

2.00pm The National Television Awards 2012 4.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 5.00 FILM: Free Willy (1993) 7.10 FILM: Kangaroo Jack (2003) 9.00 Winners & Losers 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex. See highlights. 10.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Peter Andre 12.15am Winners & Losers

1.00pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x5) 11.00 Cracker 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 2.45 Carry On Laughing 3.10 ITV3 Nightscreen 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

12.15pm Supernanny US (x2) 2.05 Privileged 2.55 Make It Or Break It (x2) 4.55 Samantha Who? 5.20 Being Erica 6.15 90210 7.15 FILM: The Simpsons Movie (2007) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Skins 12.05am Beaver Falls 1.05 Franklin & Bash 1.50 Comedy Lab: Rick And Peter

1.45pm Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals (x5) 4.25 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.10 The TV Book Club 7.45 River Cottage Bites 7.55 River Cottage Every Day 9.00 Jamie’s Great Britain 10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 11.00 Heston’s Mission Impossible 12.00am Jamie’s Great Britain

11.00am Seven Days To Noon (1950) 1.00pm Simply Irresistible (1999) 2.50 Carry On Dick (1974) 4.35 Guess Who (2005) 6.45 A Good Year (2006) 9.00 Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past (2009) 10.55 Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) 12.50am My Brother Tom (2001) 3.10 Close



Invite Val Aviv to cover your event

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041_LS561_TV_Mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 20/01/2012 11:54 Page 1

monday 30 The Royal Bodyguard BBC1, 9pm David Jason seemed to be avoiding comedy after Only Fools and Horses finished, opting for more serious stuff. This is a more slapstick role as a bumbling exguardsman who is somehow responsible for the Royal Families’ security. Don’t expect any Kevin Costner/Whitney Houston moments though.

Party Paramedics Channel 4, 10pm The fly-on-the-wall documentary seems to be making a revival of late and this is the latest to come along. It follows the paramedics that deal with the many drunken predicaments of revelers, this week in the party hot-spot of Kavos, Corfu. So prepare to feel much better about yourself and what you did last Saturday night.

Skins E4, 10pm With a brand new ‘year six’ batch of teenagers ready to make their way through a confusing and life-changing adolescence, the characters may change but the story and faces are similar. Plenty of wild parties as some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends and everyone is richer for the experience.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 The Big Performance 2 3.35 Wingin’ It 3.55 Deadly 60 Bites 4.00 All Over The Place 4.30 Helen’s Polar Challenge For Sport Relief 4.55 The Owl 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00am – 9.05am Children’s television 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 The Large Family 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Bob’s Mini Projects 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Wibbly Pig 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 One Man And His Campervan 1.30 Animal 24/7 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Goes To Ireland Great British Railway Journeys Goes to Ireland. 7.00 Home Cooking Made Easy Home Cooking Made Easy. 7.30 A Question Of Taste Food quiz with Kirsty Wark. 8.00 University Challenge The quarter-final stage continues with Jeremy Paxman asking the questions. 8.30 An Island Parish Chronicle of life in an island parish. 9.00 Protecting Our Children Protecting Our Children. 10.00 Mock The Week Again Comedy show combining the best elements of panel show, stand-up and improvised games. 10.30 Newsnight Investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Pan Am On a trip to London, Maggie becomes involved with a Republican senator on her flight, despite her radical socialist leanings. After being an MI6 courier for months, Kate is given a dangerous assignment, helping Anderson retrieve a list of contacts from a KGB double agent. In Bridget’s continued absence, things begin to get serious between Dean and Colette. 12.00am Pan Am 12.40 BBC News 4.00 Primary Class (x8)

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 The Hungry Sailors 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Living With The Amish 9.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 11.00 Secret Location 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Country House Rescue 1.05 River Cottage Bites 1.10 FILM: The Shepherd Of The Hills (1941) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Spanish Football 10.30 Fight Night 12.30pm Spanish Football 2.00 Fight Night 4.00 Spanish Football 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 Netbusters 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 10.00 Sky Sports News At Ten 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 2.30 Netbusters 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Diane is worried about Andy’s feelings for Debbie. 7.30 Coronation Street Carla breaks down as she takes the stand. Steve lays down the law as Tracy attempts a reconciliation. Sylvia exaggerates Roy’s success to impress Milton. 8.00 Cornwall With Caroline Quentin In this episode, she meets Cornishman Robert Hocking, who is delving into the archives to uncover some interesting family history. 8.30 Coronation Street There is outrage in the gallery after a shock revelation during Frank’s trial. 9.00 Whitechapel The new series of the police drama set in London’s East End begins with the first of a twopart story. The team investigate the gruesome murder of four people in a seemingly impregnable workshop. 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 That Sunday Night Show Adrian Chiles rounds up the big events and news stories of the week with regular panellist Ross Noble and Spice Girl Melanie Chisholm. 11.10 Law & Order: UK The team investigate after an elderly janitor is murdered in his home. 12.05am Cops With Cameras 1.00 The Zone 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show. 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons When Bart ends up in court on joyriding charges, a stern judge rules that Homer and Bart must be tethered together. 6.30 Hollyoaks Ruby feels alienated from the group and is afraid to approach Jono and the pressure is building as Neil’s driving test looms. 6.55 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present David Clarke 2012 In this film blind footballer David Clarke, who has 121 caps and 116 England goals, reveals his exceptional football skills and describes how gold is the only medal he cares about in 2012. 8.00 SuperScrimpers Mrs Moneypenny puts reveals her insider trade secrets for saving money. 9.00 Coppers Hard-hitting documentary series which provides a rare insight into the realities of policing modern Britain, with access to forces across the country. 10.00 Party Paramedics See highlights. 11.05 Random Acts Series of three-minute films. 11.10 Shameless On a lads’ night out Micky slopes off looking for love and is the victim of a savage attack. 12.15am The Joy Of Teen Sex 1.10 Embarrassing Bodies 2.05 FILM: The Good German (2005) 3.50 St Elsewhere 4.35 90210 5.15 Lost Buildings Of Britain

6.00am – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 7.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Mio Mao 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Superior Interiors With Kelly Hoppen 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.15 FILM: Pregnancy Pact (2010) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Having revealed to Ruby that she plans to lose her virginity at the dance, April surprises her by inviting Xavier. 6.30 5 News 7.00 World’s Toughest Trucker Eight experienced truck drivers compete to win a £100,000 prize and the title of ‘World’s Toughest Trucker’. 8.00 Police Interceptors There is a hair-raising pursuit through the market town of Ripley which sees a driver mounting pavements, hitting cars and even colliding with an ambulance. 9.00 Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan Embedded with Lima Company of the Royal Marines during a six-month deployment in Helmand Province in Afghanistan, awardwinning documentary filmmaker Chris Terrill reports on what it is really like to work in one of the most dangerous locations on earth. 10.00 FILM: Striking Distance (1993) Fast-moving thriller about a cop hunting for his father’s murderer. The former detective, now demoted to river duty, is convinced that his father was the victim of a serial killer. Starring Bruce Willis. 12.05am Jodie Marsh – Bullied: My Secret Past 1.05 SuperCasino Live 3.55 Animal Rescue Squad 4.10 Five VOD Grey’s Anatomy: Finale 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show The team bring viewers the stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 Inside Out Glenn Campbell examines how the health of airport workers may be at risk from ultra fine particles. 8.00 EastEnders Panic ensues for the Moon brothers when Derek threatens them for the money they owe him. 8.30 Panorama Vigorous investigation of a topical issue. 9.00 The Royal Bodyguard See highlights. 9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Spartacus, the old family dog, is looking poorly. Reluctantly, the family decide the time has come to put her in a home. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz. 11.05 Late Kick Off Dan Walker presents the football magazine focusing on the Football League clubs in the region, featuring all the latest news, action and in-depth features. 11.35 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show. 12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Who Do You Think You Are? 1.30 Filthy Cities 2.30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 3.30 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 1.30pm European Tour Golf 3.30 Spirit Of Yachting 4.00 NFL: Pro Bowl 6.00 Cycling 7.00 World Sailing Championships 2011 – Official Film 8.00 NFL: Pro Bowl 10.00 Cycling 11.00 Fishing Gurus 11.30 Journey: A Warren Miller Film 1.00am Fishing Gurus 1.30 European Tour Golf 2.30 PGA Tour Golf 3.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 5.00 PGA Tour Classic

Sky Sports 3 6.00am International Rugby Union 7.30 Spirit Of Yachting 8.00 Hockey 11.00 Racing News 11.30 International Rugby Union 1.00pm Spirit Of Yachting 1.30 Kings Of The Snow 2.00 Hockey 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Journey: A Warren Miller Film 8.30 Spirit Of Yachting 9.00 World Sailing Championships 2011 - Official Film 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Sun, Sea And A&E 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Gadget Geeks 9.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life 10.00 Spartacus: Vengeance 11.15 An Idiot Abroad 2 12.15am Dog The Bounty Hunter

7.00pm Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Britain’s Gay Footballers 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Bizarre Crime 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Britain’s Gay Footballers 1.30 Bizarre Crime 2.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 3.00 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Century Of Fatherhood 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 10.00 Only Connect 10.30 Atlantis: The Evidence – A Timewatch Special 11.30 Eve Arnold – In Retrospect: Omnibus 12.25am Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 1.25 Only Connect 1.55 Only Connect

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Biggest Loser 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) (1994) 11.50 FILM: Eyes Wide Shut (1999) 2.45am Coronation Street (x2) 3.35 Emmerdale

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Born And Bred 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 5.15 Rising Damp 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Billy Connolly: Journey To The Edge Of The World 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.10am Numb3rs

1.45pm Scrubs 2.10 Hollyoaks 2.45 90210 3.40 Desperate Housewives 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 9.00 Playing It Straight 10.00 Skins 11.05 Fresh Meat 12.00am The Big Bang Theory

4.40pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.40 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Undercover Boss 11.05 The Daily Show Global Edition 11.40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.45am Grand Designs 1.50 Undercover Boss

11.00am White Feather (1955) 1.05pm Carousel (1956) 3.40 The Gunfighter (1950) 5.20 Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 7.15 Dumb And Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) 9.00 The Wrestler (2008) 11.10 Rosemary’s Baby (1968) 1.50am Birth (2004) 3.55 Close



Brighton Lights 35

Funny man Simon Evans talks to Victoria Nangle about living in Hove, his ideal radio show and bringing laughter to Brighton in 2012

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Latest 7: No. 561  

ORIENTAL HEAT Volcanic stones get to work at Shadi Danin Medi-Spa

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