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Get set for the relaunch of Brighton Film School page 19

JERRY SADOWITZ A chat with the genuinely original angry comedian READY, SET, GO! Step up a gear in support of local charities SOMETHING TO SING ABOUT Dinner & entertainment at Gars Chinese restaurant

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2011

CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

8–14 NOVEMBER

>online

>on tv

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NEWS & COMMENT

Guy does The Hoosiers

04 Latest People Derma Health Spa, White Night 2011, Jolly Gorgeous, The Move Or Improve Show, Edward Starr Charitable Trust and the Featherstonehaughs curtain call 07 Latest Brighton & Hove News; Latest Inbox Phil Mills reports on University of Brighton’s scientific breakthrough and shopping success stories; Frank le Duc and Council Leader Bill Randall 12 Sport: Brighton & Hove Albion BHA’s Adam El Abd and BHAWFC’s Jemma Turner interviewed; plus a look ahead to Southampton 14 Bare Cheek A load of pants; what’s in, and what’s app-ening 14 Mad Matt A chat with Matt Whistler’s pool cleaner 15 City Speak Ruby steps back in time, Tasha has a decent proposal, and Will finds out the price of perfection 16 Snapshots The Brighton boys who completed The Mongol Rally 16 Competitions Francis Ford Coppola DVDs; Numberjacks: Live tickets 17 Celebcity Young apprentice Harry Hitchens, Mel C at Moshi Moshi, David Dimbleby at The Amex, and Rizzle Kicks

L7 INTERVIEW 18 Jerry Sadowitz talks to Victoria Nangle about his comedy and magic, being genuinely original and having an entire audience walk out of his show

LIFESTYLE 19 Cover Feature: Brighton Film School Calling all budding filmmakers: Brighton Film School relaunches with an extensive range of courses 21 Charity Events Special Run for it: the Santa Dash, the Heroes Run, Brighton Marathon, Brighton Half Marathon and other festive fundraisers taking place near you 28 Health Training tips for charity events; The Mongol Rally blog 29 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink; Hotlist Sumptuous Chinese food and fun karaoke at Gars

18 Our new look website is about to launch with more interactive features, news, reviews and competitions than ever before. We bring you all the latest interviews from faces in the world of theatre, music, comedy and sport. We feature all the local restaurants worth visiting this festive season; highlight the latest ethical beauty and fashion buys in ‘Wave’, and the site is home to the Latest Brighton Download Chart: music made in Brighton for Brighton! To get involved go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7

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Comedy, music or clubs?

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WHAT’S ON 32 Reviews & bookings; Latest Brighton Download Chart Jessie J, White Night 2011, DJ Yoda 34 Latest Previews Dolce Via, Bill Bailey, Brighton’s BabyExpo 38 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes; Big Brother Finale; seven-day TV listings Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless

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Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Editor Zara Baker

Our new programme for thelatest.tv sees Juice FM presenter Guy Lloyd investigate all manner of things. He starts off with chart-topping band The Hoosiers who were mega-successful a couple of years ago, were dropped by their major label and have become fashionably independent. Their charttopping album cost £1 million to record, their new album £100 and we reckon it’s just as good. We have exclusive footage of this new record on our show. Guy goes crazy-golfing with them, checks out their sound-check and witnesses the fans' adoration of the band at Audio in Brighton.

In future shows Guy will be doing waxing, Dot Cotton, air guitar and needs your suggestions for more crazy things (or people) to do. Send to bill@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes/7 magazine is famous for combining clubbing and property in one popular magazine. Now Brighton Lights does the same: Episode 32 features an exclusive look at the stars of Brighton’s new and so successful Shakedown Festival – Example, Ed Sheeran and Razorlight, and then a Cribs-syle tour around a stunning dream home for sale. Then it’s on to Brighton Comedy Festival where Vicky Nangle meets the stars, namely Radio 1’s Chris Cox, Krater’s Stephen Grant and Universal Genius Mark Allen.

Watch Brighton Lights at thelatest.tv Bill Smith

Find out what’s going on in Brighton while you’re on the move with comprehensive listings straight to your mobile phone

m.thelatest.co.uk Sub Editors Chris Dyer Glyn George Jamie Jolley Rachel Junior Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Music Listings Nick Aldwinckle Design Anand Day Tom Scrace Andrew Wright

Illustrators Lili Bé Graham Clark Paul Lewis Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi Work Experience Peter Faretra

Watch our shows at www.thelatest.tv

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01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

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004_005_LS551_latest people_Social Diary 04/11/2011 16:55 Page 2

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LATEST PEOPLE

latestPEOPLE

Find some ‘me time’ Derma Health Spa offers a range of new treatments to help you look after your body, from weight loss and antiaging to relaxation and rejuvenation.

The Derma Health Spa is upstairs at Dental Health Spa in Queens Road, Brighton, and has an Oxy Pod – a metabolic weight loss system, one of the only two in the country; a vibration training plate; LED light therapy; OxyOasis facials and organic antiaging spray tanning.

Its launch on Saturday 29 October had Jonesy from Juice FM trying out treatments with Christina Chatfield and Carol Oram, joint partners of the Spa, while broadcasting to Brighton and Hove.

Derma Health Spa is located at 14-15 Queens Road, Brighton, 01273 710831, www.dermahealthspa.co.uk Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Derma Health Spa, White Night 2011, Jolly Gorgeous gallery, The Move Or Improve Show, Edward Starr & the Featherstonehaughs

Home improvement

The Oxy Pod

Emma Furlong (Lula semipermanent make up), Lisa Logan

Outside with the Juice FM girls

The Move or Improve show was held on 28-29 October at The Amex Stadium in Falmer. In a difficult economic climate, exhibitors were on hand to show guests how to improve their home to save money and enjoy a new aspect. From bathrooms to boudoirs, carpets, flooring, heat saving measures, garden adornments, food, photography, plus food and drink and wellbeing, it was all there.

Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Square Deal Solar

Auntie Vals

Luxury Bamboo Gazebos

Utility Warehouse

Farewell, Featherstonehaughs

Starry night

The Edward Starr Charitable trust is a Hove charity that raises money to help children smile. What makes them unique is that admin costs are covered by private sponsorship which means that 100 per cent of money donated and raised by them goes to help children.

The Trust has just finished its year long campaign to raise money, £71,000 for 21 local, national, and international children’s projects.

They held a presentation evening in the Boundary Room of the Sussex County Cricket Club on 28 October.

More information of how to be involved or donate can be found at www.starrtrust.com Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Rob Starr (chairman, Starr Trust)

Holly Kinsell (scholarship – Showjumping), Michael Jaystone, Connor Lovejoy (scholarship – Brit School, Croydon)

Claire Kennedy, Suzy Butler (Kiya Survivors)

Willow Tree Trading

Anne Bickmore (chairman, ABC Fund), Rob Starr, Michael Jaystone (patron of Edward Starr Trust), Trish Starr (events coordinator)

Following last year’s successful tour, the Featherstonehaughs took to the stage for the very last time at Brighton Dome on 26 October with their acclaimed 2010 work, ‘Edits’.

They drew on the sketch books of Egon Schiele and brought to life the tormented vision of Austrian expressionist Schiele through dance. Loaded with energy the show was re-worked featuring entirely new music played live by Steve Blake and Will Saunders.

Striking costumes by three-time Oscar winner Sandy Powell and production design by Simon Corder featured.

Words and photos: Diana Frangi

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LATEST PEOPLE

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All white on the night The Mayor of Brighton, Councillor Anne Meadows, officially opened Brighton and Hove’s unique all night free arts festival at the University of Brighton Art Gallery on 29 October to mark the clocks going back. More than 70 separate events from the fanciful to the factual were available to see.

White Nights has a collaboration with Amiens in France, made possible by the EU Interreg IVA France (Channel)-England programme, Nuit Blance. Lucian Fontaine, Deputy Mayor of Amiens together with Stephanie Dapsance Dixon from the International Department of Amiens were in attendance to launch the festival. www.whitenightnuitblanche.com Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Lucian Fontaine (Deputy Mayor Of Amiens, France), David Murray (Strategic Director of Communities at Brighton & Hove City Council)

The Mayor of Brighton Councillor Anne Meadows, Lucian Fontaine (Deputy Mayor of Amiens, France)

Miss High Leg Kicks Promettes

Fall head over heels for art New art gallery, Jolly Gorgeous, is now open at 12 Bristol Road, Kemp Town.

Owners James and Georgina exclusively deal with high end Italian and local artists with paintings, sculptures, terracotta, ceramics, jewellery and photography.

Their aim is to offer products that are exclusive to Jolly Gorgeous, unique to the UK and works of art in themselves, from the monks in the Casentino mountains in Tuscany to local artists Emma Sutherland (cheeky ceramics) and Kate Osbornes (water colours).

More information can be found at www.jollygorgeous.com and by visiting the gallery.

Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Hot offer Try Bikram Yoga Brighton’s ‘get your waist back’ challenge and get in shape for Xmas

Lucia Zei sculpture in stainless steel

Georgina Westover, Angela Riley, Stephen Dennard, The Laughing Dog Gallery, Stickless Music

Bikram Yoga Brighton has a fantastic special offer: unlimited yoga for six weeks (42 days) for just £50*. It’s the perfect way to get in shape for the Christmas festivities. As winter approaches we desperately want to keep warm so we eat more stodgy foods and wear more layers, mainly adipose tissue (fat). What if you could get through winter, and keep warm without the extra fat layer? Just in time for Christmas!

Bikram Yoga Brighton is setting you a challenge. Come and do hot yoga two to three times a week – more if you can – and watch how you stay trim.

About Bikram Yoga: • Bikram Hot Yoga is practised at 43°-45°C with 50% humidity.

• A class features 26 postures and two breathing exercises.

• In each class you follow the same sequence, allowing you to improve flexibility, strength, stamina and cardiovascular fitness.

• You work your body inside out, bones to skin, fingertips to your toes; your internal organs are massaged allowing blood to be pumped into your organs. This flushes out toxins in cells and glands, improves blood flow, nutrition and the general healthy status of organs and joints.

• You sweat through the largest organ of your body: your skin, getting a great detox. What a great way to stay trim and remove all your toxins!

Bikram Yoga Brighton, Olugbenga House.

26-28 Franklin Road, Portslade, 01273 420279, www.bikramyogabrighton.com

*Bring this article with you to redeem your offer.

Leather hand bags from Italy

Marcello Scarselli artist

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7 days of headlines with phil mills Portslade bucks the trend, Halloween crimewave and University of Brighton’s scientific breakthrough

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hoppers are thinking twice before spending but high-street businesses are holding up – at least in the Hove area. Figures from www.brightonbusiness.co.uk, the business forum and economic partnership, show the overall vacancy rate for Hove and Portslade was just 3.9 per cent, compared to the UK average of 11.5 per cent and an 8 per cent rate in Brighton.

Station Road and Boundary Road were doing particularly well, with just two shops empty out of 153.

George Street had just two out of 86 empty and Blatchington Road had two empty shops out of 78.

Meanwhile, a new scheme is giving small independent shops in Brighton and Hove expert training in using attractive window displays to boost trade. The project, backed with £7,000 from the council, is part of a drive to support local retailers during tough trading times – especially in the run-up to Christmas.

Thirty places have been provided on the scheme ‘Dressed for Success’; with consultants Metamorphosis providing one-toone training. An award for the best dressed shop front will be made following a public vote. Look out for retailers bearing the Dressed for Success window stickers. Retailers interested in taking part should call 01273 291104 or email economic.development@brightonhove.gov.uk The future of one of the city’s busiest shopping streets is the

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Bill Randall on the Learning Resource Centre, Hollingdean

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his year, 100 staff members have taken at least one course at the Learning Resource Centre at the council’s Hollingdean depot. Across the council’s Cityclean and City Parks services, staff members have achieved 79 new national qualifications.

The centre provides resources and support for staff to undertake various courses and qualifications to help them at work and beyond. They are

subject of a series of exhibitions. The council has won £4.2m government funding for a scheme to improve transport flows, street scene and air quality along Lewes Road and surrounding streets. The sum will be added to £2.5m in contributions from other local partners.

Venues and dates are Hollingdean Community Centre, 11 and 12 November; Coldean’s Larchwood Community Café, 15 and 19 November; Hanover Community Centre, 21, 23 and 26 November; Moulsecoomb Leisure Centre bar, 2 and 3 December; Bevendean’s Norwich Drive Church Hall, 8–10 December. For times, visit www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/lewesroad or call 01273 290487.

Meanwhile, savings are having to be made at Brighton’s Royal Sussex County Hospital after a £19m overspend. Hospital chiefs are asking people not to attend A&E unless it is absolutely necessary.

Good news on the medical research front with University of Brighton scientists successfully testing a breakthrough product that could cut the rate of some hospitalacquired infections, leading to a reduction in morbidity and mortality across the country.

Hospitals around the world could benefit from the work, and health authorities could save millions of pounds in treatment costs. The study was conducted by Dr Ian Cooper and Dr Anna Guildford from the university’s Microbiology research group and BrightSTAR research group within the School of Pharmacy and

Biomolecular Sciences for Cambridgebased medical materials company CamStent Ltd. In other news, Halloween celebrations were marred by hooligans – thugs wearing horror masks robbed a 15-year-old boy – one held the victim down while the other stole £7. And two robbers wearing Halloween skeleton outfits smashed their way into a petrol station and stole the safe.

The Grade II Llisted Saltdean Lido, meanwhile, has been put on the English Heritage at-risk register after major repairs were identified.

A campaign is gathering momentum to prevent the owners from filling in the pool and developing the site.

Campers supporting the anticapitalism ‘live-in’ outside St Paul’s Cathedral moved on to Victoria Gardens in Brighton – much to the anger of Hove MP Mike Weatherley who said: “Great thinkers and leaders did not find solutions to the world’s problems by lying around in public parks and squares.”

Lastly, Norman Cook, aka Fatboy Slim, has been swamped with support since walking onto Albion’s pitch and announcing concerts at the stadium on 1 and 2 June. Longterm fan Gordy Eaton said: “Wembley it is not but Falmer's going to be a great venue for a great event.”

What do you think of the hospital’s savings plan?

comment@thelatest.co.uk

jointly provided by the council and the UnionLearn scheme.

Courses available include literacy, numeracy, IT skills and NVQ qualifications, not to mention languages. There is also the opportunity to access careers support and to take vocational courses on presentation skills and CV writing among others.

The centre is nationally recognised, and has racked up 19 awards in just three years. Louis de Bernieres and Dame Vera Lynn have both visited to celebrate the work being done there, and to encourage more workers to get involved. There was also a celebration event a few weeks ago, which recognised the

achievements of all who participated this year.

There are similar learning centres elsewhere in the council, including the Royal Pavilion and a newly-opened one contained within the council’s new housing centre in Moulsecoomb. This centre is also open to residents who wish to get involved in improving their skills.

There is a good business case for supporting learning among the workforce. Boosting skills and self-confidence is a sure way to deliver better services – as evidenced by the high customer satisfaction feedback from residents. It also leads to reduced staff sickness, improved communication, better relations, and a more empowered workforce.

Dame Vera Lynn has visited the Learning Resource Centre to celebrate the work being done there

It’s been a life-changing experience for the groups of learners I met there, who are now confident both at work and in everything they do.

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Take a moment lest we forget War veterans were fading from sight until recent conflicts. Frank le Duc reports on remembrance

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n Sunday three parades will be held in Brighton and Hove to remember our war dead. Veterans and civic leaders will turn out at the Old Steine in Brighton, Grand Avenue in Hove and Easthill Park in Portslade. Prayers will be said, heads bowed and the Last Post sounded. Until relatively recently the act of remembrance seemed to be for a time long past. Now it has a fresh resonance for a growing number of people.

From the 1960s to the 1990s the numbers taking part each year on the Sunday closest to Armistice Day – 11 November – was visibly dwindling. The occasions harked back to the Second World War with survivors gathering to remember fallen colleagues. And our war memorials – there are for Tony some of the time taken to pause and reflect more locally than many people realise – seemed even more remote to younger generations, bearing “It is clear that many more has been in the troublespots that for most of us are seen only in the news. names from the First World War. people have felt sufficiently He said: “I can remember very clearly being The Falklands War created barely a blip in this involved down there as a cadet. I can picture trend. There were British casualties, including a few moved by the sacrifices of myself on the corner of the War Memorial at reverse from the local area, but there many more among the arms while the service went on. I can also Argentinians. And the conflict, far away in the South another generation to pay remember laying a wreath and, beforehand, selling Atlantic, was mercifully brief. poppies in Churchill Square.

But in the past ten years British servicemen and their respects” “The abiding memory is standing on the corner – women have been serving and dying and suffering rigidly still – at reverse arms, feeling very proud at terrible injuries in Afghanistan and Iraq. And in that having being chosen to play that fairly prominent part. It was probably time the numbers turning out on Remembrance Sunday have steadily risen. because I was tall.

There may be fewer old soldiers parading. But the young cadet units have always “The one thing I remember in terms of being there is the concentration that helped make up the numbers. And Brighton also has a Territorial Army contingent. it used to require, the phenomenal amount of concentration it required not to It’s the watching crowds where the numbers have markedly grown. Perhaps nod off and fall over but just to maintain your position and being mindful and it’s the immediacy of our 24-hour rolling news bulletins pricking our aware of what was going on around you. consciences, but we have thankfully still only lost few young men and women from Brighton and Hove and the surrounding area over the past ten years since 9/11 (when two passenger aircraft were flown into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon in Washington with another brought down in Pennsylvania).

Whatever is behind the resurgence of interest in remembrance, it is clear that many more people have felt sufficiently moved by the sacrifices of another generation to come and pay their respects. And this Sunday will be no different.

We will remember them.

A PERSONAL LOOK AT REMEMBRANCE

For several years during his teens – back in the 1980s – a young cadet called Tony Brown took part in the annual parade and service of remembrance on the Sunday closest to Armistice Day. One year he laid the wreath on behalf of Hove’s Air Training Corps squadron at the War Memorial in Grand Avenue. On a couple of occasions he stood sentry on one of the four corners of the memorial at reverse arms with his head bowed.

The photographs show a bright November day in 1987. But some years it was bitterly cold, with the wind adding bite. On other occasions the rain tipped down and some times it was both cold and wet. He stood there for the last time in 1989. By Remembrance Sunday the following year Tony had joined the Royal Air Force. Every year he and his colleagues take time to remember. And

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LATEST NEWS “I’d always have in the back of my mind that my maternal grandfather had fought in the war in the Arctic convoys and later as a landing craft commander at D Day. I always felt it was very important to pay my respects to him knowing he would be watching. He would be very proud that I was there and playing a part.

“My paternal grandfather was in the Air Force. Neither of them really talked about it very much. You could sense that it was important to him [my maternal grandfather] even though he didn’t talk about it very much. What he might talk about occasionally were the lighter moments like jumping ship to marry my grandmother.

“He was my connection at the time because I saw him a lot. I knew he had served and what he had done.

This was in the mid 1980s, closely following on from the Falklands War but that didn’t really touch me personally. The last time I was there I was 18–22 years ago – as a cadet.

“It’s such an important thing for those of us who are serving that I wouldn’t be away from where I’m serving at that time of year if I could help it.

I’ve been deployed on 11 November before and time is always taken to reflect.

“I joined the RAF in May 1990 and I’m now a Wing Commander and Officer Commanding No 5 RAF Force Protection Wing at Lossiemouth. I’ve served in Cyprus a couple of times, in the UK at Lossiemouth and RAF Honington. I’ve been on two operational tours in Kuwait, two in Iraq and one in Afghanistan – and I’m going back there next year. It’s my Wing’s third tour. I missed one when I was studying for my MA. “Remembrance since I joined has always been a definitive date in the diary whether I’m at home or serving overseas. On the 11th at 11am I shall be down at RAF Honington – our depot – so I will attend the service they always have at the depot where the whole of the station will gather for the Service of Remembrance. We refer to it [Honington] as the home of the Regiment.

“On Remembrance Sunday I shall actually be laying a wreath on behalf of the Station Commander at the Dallachy Strike Wing Memorial.” Dallachy was the home of part of 18 Group in Coastal Command – it was an international strike wing made up of RAF pilots from Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

He said: “If anything it’s become even more important to me personally.

It’s an extremely poignant occasion. I shall have many colleagues who are deployed in operations on the date. I am very alive to the risks and rigour associated with being on operational duty.

“The Regiment has always lost people on operational duty. Recent operations are no exception. It is the nature of what we do. As commanders we’re very aware of the dangers we place our people in. On my last operational tour in Afghanistan men under my command were wounded and killed. They are always on my mind as are their wives and families.”

Asked what message he might have for young people today – perhaps those who go to cadets as he did all those years ago – he said: “Take the time to think about how their lives and all of our lives have been shaped by those who have made the ultimate sacrifice to give them the way of life that they have now.

“I’ve visited many war grave sites over the years. When you start reading the inscriptions I find it very moving and humbling to see what they sacrificed for the freedoms that we enjoy today.

“I would just ask them to stop and think about how different their lives would be today if those young men and women hadn’t made the ultimate sacrifice. Not long after I joined up, in about 1992, down in the Falklands I visited quite a few war graves – ours and Argentinian ones – and it was incredibly moving, partly because in the Argentinian cemeteries there were so many graves of unknown soldiers.”

Tony became an MBE in the Queen’s Birthday Honours in 2008. He has campaign medals as well as a testimonial on vellum from the Royal Humane Society for rescuing an Austrian climber on an Argentine mountain ten years ago while walking at 23,000ft. Tony is now married with three children. His parents, brothers and wider family still live in Hove. Next year he will say goodbye to them for six months as he sets off for another tour of duty in Afghanistan.

BEN DUNCAN

Before the last general election there was talk of the government having breached its covenant with the Armed Forces. The charity Help for Heroes was started on the back of some of the discontent about the way injured servicemen and women were treated. For example, the strength of feeling quietly demonstrated on the streets of Wootton Bassett.

Not everyone approved of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. The huge demonstrations before the Iraq War in particular made popular feeling in some quarters strikingly clear. But in a democratic society the vast majority accept that service personnel do their duty and they and their families should be properly cared for if they suffer loss or injury. So now councils like Brighton and Hove are formalising the covenant and applying for extra funding to help those in most need. Some of those needs slide easily from view as a BBC Panorama, presented by Lieutenant-Colonel Tim Collins, made clear. He looked at mental

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health problems, drink, drugs and homelessness among those who had been on active service.

One of those interviewed by Colonel Collins was Mark Morgan, a soldier caught up in the Omagh bombing in Northern Ireland. He told how he ended up as a homeless drunk on the streets of Brighton and Hove after leaving the Army. Mr Morgan took part in the programme after being helped back from a life of crime and despair by the Royal British Legion.

Council cabinet member Ben Duncan approved the local covenant with the Armed Forces at a meeting last month. He said: “Our heroes are being abandoned by a military that fundamentally views them not as people, but as a resource.

“Ex-servicemen and women suffer some of the worst social outcomes of any group in our society. They are more likely to be homeless, more likely to end up in prison, more likely to become addicted to drink or drugs, more likely to suffer long-term illness, and so on.

“Of course the council has a duty to try and tackle these problems whoever is suffering from them. The experiences of service men and women after they leave the service that leaves many of them so vulnerable, unnecessarily creates a group of people whose needs we have a duty to meet, which we of course will strive to do.

“The first step towards improving the lives of ex-service personnel must be for the government to stop sending young men and women into foreign battlefields to risk their lives for political ends in the first place.” n Earlier this year the council awarded the Freedom of Brighton and Hove to Flight Lieutenant Marc Heal, an RAF pilot from Hove. He was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross (DFC) last year after rescuing 29 injured troops during missions in Afghanistan.

Among those who have been less fortunate, their families and friends will be remembering this weekend: • Second Lieutenant Jonathan BrachoCooke, 24, from Hove, who died in Iraq, • Corporal Sean Reeve, 28, from Patcham, who died in Afghanistan, • Guardsman Jamie Janes, 20, from Portslade, who died in Afghanistan, and • Private Dan Prior, 27, from Brighton, who died this year in Afghanistan, 29 years after his uncle, Corporal Steve Prior, also from Brighton, died in the Falklands.

Guardsman Jamie Janes

WHEN AND WHERE TO REMEMBER On Remembrance Sunday (13 November) The Mayor of Brighton and Hove or a representative will attend the following services: 10.45am Brighton A two-minute silence at the War Memorial in Old Steine, Brighton, will be followed by a brief ceremony, laying of wreaths and a march past.

10.20am Portslade A Parade will leave Portslade Town Hall, Victoria Road, Portslade at 10.20 am for Easthill Park for a ceremony and laying of wreaths at 11am.

10.55am Hove Cemetery, Old Shoreham Road, Hove A short wreath-laying ceremony will take place, first at the South, then North Gate Memorial, beginning at 11am.

2.30pm Hove A parade will leave Hove Town Hall

at 2.15 pm and proceed to the War Memorial, Grand Avenue, Hove, for a wreath-laying ceremony at 2.30pm. From there the parade will go to All Saints Church in The Drive for a full Service of Remembrance starting at 3pm.

4.25pm Hove Brighton and Hove Branch of the Association of Jewish Ex-Servicemen and Women will hold a Service of Remembrance at the Hove Synagogue, 79 Holland Road, Hove.

Thursday 10 November: The Blessing of the Garden of Remembrance will take place at 11am when a short service will be held at the War Memorial in the Old Steine.

Friday 11 November: A two-minute silence will be held at 11am to mark the Armistice with a short service being held at 10.55am at the Peace Statue in Kingsway.

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FRANKTALKING Insight, comment and analysis from the editor of Brighton & Hove News, Frank le Duc

A hard lesson with numbers

Hove MP Mike Weatherley, Councillor Andrew Wealls and education official Gil Sweetenham listen to parents at the Connaught site

We have more children than primary school places but the gamble is that the population has peaked

But countering the desire to build our way out of the situation are two arguments. The first is about money. The new academy at Falmer is likely to be the last project of that size and scale for some years given the present financial climate. The academy at Portslade will have some money lavished on it, but on a much more modest scale. Locals will be upil numbers have been rising steadily over the interested to hear what plans there are for the High Street past six years or so. As a result primary school site when it is vacated. places have been at a premium right across The second argument against building a new primary Brighton and Hove. The clamour for extra classrooms has “The odds are that school comes down to demographics. The argument goes brought extensions or led to other cunning plans being we will have to make that the population is about to spike. The most places will put in place. The revival of Connaught School is a case in be needed in September next year. In the years after, the point. The children and staff there come under the care of do and mend” number of reception year children will tail off. Everything West Hove, half a mile away. can get back to normal. In those circumstances, it is hard More imaginative solutions are being presented to to justify a huge capital outlay.

Brighton and Hove City Council’s cabinet on Thursday. Some of these solutions There is a less publicly stated third argument being made since Michael Gove may have to involve temporary classrooms. The soon to be vacated Hove became Education Secretary. He has encouraged free schools. And the prospect of Police Station is even in the frame. It won’t be an easy sell. More a free school in Brighton and Hove – with lessons in English and Spanish – is not conventionally, council chiefs have reached agreement with the heads and beyond the realms of possibility. Location will be just one challenge to overcome. governors at Goldstone, Westdene, Queen’s Park and Connaught to make room It is unlikely that any of these arguments will appease parents whose children for more children from September next year. end up being sent to a different school to the one they wanted. Or a school that is In Portslade they are feeling the strain too. Benfield has been some way from home. We can expect more schools to use temporary classrooms. accommodating. Cabinet members are to be asked to approve talks with Those born during the baby boom of the 1960s will remember the delights of the heads of St Nicolas, St Peter’s and Portslade Infant School to see what prefabs. It sometimes seems that temporary huts have been a permanent feature permutations might prevent the need for a new primary school to be built. of certain schools.

Because if the council and the schools can’t juggle the numbers between Given the state of the public finances, and especially the constraints faced them, that is one of the few options left on the table. by councils, the odds are that we will have to make do and mend. Of course, There are arguments in favour of building a new primary school. They the strategists will juggle the numbers and make use of every space they can have been rehearsed several times by councillors and parents in Hove and find. But the squeeze won’t just be financial for the children who start school Portslade in particular over the past few years. After all, the population next September. n boom is not a surprise. The figures have been available for all to see.

P

LATEST INBOX The Sensational ‘60s Experience (Latest 7 online reviews) I agree the band put on a great and interesting show and the standard of playing thrilled the concert audiance at St David’s Hall last night as I remember many of these songs. They bring back that time when life was a little slower. Keep on going to these concerts as this was when a song was carefully made and not had to rely on the electronics of today.

Kind Regards.

Russell Everitt, via www.thelatest.co.uk/7

The Specials (Latest 7 online reviews and letters, issue 550) Come on, man, these are The Specials. They know what people enjoying themselves looks like. If he took the time out to tell people that “we are supposed to be showing the younger generation how to behave” it must have been more than enjoying themselves. Top f****** gig though.

Very good vibe. It felt like I was back at school. They put a lot in. No chatter so to speak of. So loads of the best tunes. I mean loads. No big intros – no big outros.

Chris, via www.thelatest.co.uk/7 Seventh wonder: Sam’s of Sevendials (Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink)

> Have your say To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email comment@thelatest.co.uk You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH

More people should visit this place, the food is excellent every time we go. It is a little out of town, but make the effort!

Jon, via www.thelatest.co.uk/7

Santa Paws!

We are asking people to hold a “Santa Paws” event for Hearing Dogs for Deaf People. You can help us to change the life of a deaf person this Christmas by raising money at your festive gathering – big or small, from mince pies and sherry after church to a cake sale at school or the office – you can be as creative as you like. All we ask is that at this gathering vital funds for Hearing Dogs are raised. If you would like a fundraising pack containing all the materials you’ll need to organise a Santa Paws, call 01323 508932 or email sue.pellow@hearingdogs.org.uk Sue Pellow, via email

011_LS551_news profile nib_editorial 04/11/2011 13:36 Page 1

LATEST NEWS

latest brighton & hove news

PROFILE

IN BRIEF

Recipe for success Prize winning catering student Asha Phelps has triumphed over adversity to impress her tutors and colleagues alike

T

hey say that if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Well, Asha Phelps can stand the heat. Not only that, she seems to thrive in the kitchen – and front of house and now in front of hundreds of friends, colleagues and family members. OK, so there were a few tears. Asha won the top prize at the City College Brighton and Hove annual achievers awards. Hers weren’t the only tears of joy. Her mother Kim cried too. And several others were dabbing their eyes in the auditorium in Pelham Street.

For Asha’s is a touching story. The 17-year-old former Falmer High School pupil has overcome a number of obstacles in the past few years. Her mother and younger sister both suffer a rare and sometimes debilitating illness. And Asha has often found herself caring for them or for her fouryear-old brother.

n CREW CLUB GIVEN £15K CASH BOOST TO HELP YOUNGSTERS GET INTO SPORT The Crew Club in Whitehawk has received a £15,000 grant from a community sports foundation run by Barclays bank. The money will be used to fund sports development worker Jackie Woods. She will be trying to drum up interest in playing sport after school and at weekends.

Darren Snow, who runs the Crew Club, said the grant comes after a previous donation of £550,000 from Barclays Spaces for Sports. The earlier grant paid for the club’s multi-use games area at the bottom of Coolham Drive to be revamped complete with new changing rooms. The area includes netball and tennis courts, five-a-side football pitches and floodlights.

There are also two full-size football pitches. Leon Stocker, a regular user of The Crew Club, said: “It’s been really great doing different sports, I like football but being able to try tennis and basketball with really good coaches is great. I can’t wait to try cricket too.”

Brighton and Hove Albion use the Crew Club pitches for the Kicks project on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, which is aimed at reducing anti-social behaviour. Barclays worked with the Football Foundation charity to decide where the latest donations were given.

n TRANSPORT CHIEF ASKED TO RETHINK HIS PARKING REVIEW TIMETABLE

FROM CARER TO CATERING

As she picked up the first of two awards on Thursday evening, her citation summed up some of the challenges she has faced. It said: “Asha is a hardworking and highly committed student and has also been a carer throughout her teenage years. Both her mother and younger sister have a chronic condition resulting from disturbances in the body’s immune system and she also helps care for her brother.

“Asha’s family also suffered from racial abuse and were forced to move to Eastbourne which had a detrimental effect on her education. Despite all these difficult circumstances, Asha’s catering skills have developed strongly with high achievements in functional skills, practical and theory coursework.

And she’s been a much-valued member of the team at both the college’s training restaurants.”

“The way she supported other students when they were getting stressed was a real tribute to her character”

FIVE-STAR STANDARDS Pic: Patrick Kneath

Asha said that she was surprised and delighted to have won the top award. She said that she came to City College hoping to be a chef but the course had opened her eyes to the many possibilities in the catering and hospitality sector. She said: “You see how big the industry is and all the opportunities. I had experience in the kitchen before my course but not front of house. We had to learn how to waitress to a five-star standard, we had to learn silver service, how to pour wine elegantly.”

Her tutor Jonathon File said: “I had the pleasure of teaching Asha last year and she was outstanding in every way. Both her

11

theory and practical work was excellent and the unwavering way in which she supported other students when they were getting stressed was a real tribute to her character considering what she was having to deal with outside of college.

“You’d never have guessed there were any external issues that she was coping with that would have impeded her studies because she was 100 per cent focused. I couldn’t have asked for a better student.”

TRANSFORMING LIVES

Teaching support assistant Linda Paul added: “Asha’s been under a lot of stress at home helping to care for her family but she’s been a really successful student despite everything she’s coping with while also being one of the most cheerful and helpful students in the department.

“I’m absolutely delighted that she’s won the overall prize because the whole of our department and everyone who knows her can really say she deserves it because she’s such a lovely girl.”

Phil Frier said: “While our Ofsted results and success rates are fantastic for the reputation of the college, our City Achievers night brings the human side of what we do sharply into focus, showing that what we do here genuinely transforms lives. Aside from being an event that is uplifting for all the students and their families, it also reminds everyone connected with the college why it’s so vital for us to keep providing an outstanding learning experience for our students.” n

Parking problems in the streets around Wish Park in Hove are to be looked at by the council’s cabinet member for transport at a special meeting tomorrow (Wednesday). Councillor Ian Davey put off making any changes to controlled zones in the West Hove area last month while ordering a citywide parking review to be conducted.

The Green Party cabinet member has been asked to rethink his decision by two opposition councillors – one Labour and one Conservative. Councillors Anne Pissaridou and Garry Peltzer Dunn, who represent Wish ward, say that the decision was flawed and taken without proper consultation.

They are urging Councillor Davey to come up with a solution for the situation in their ward as quickly as possible. They believe that any changes are at least 18 months off under the present timetable.

n EASTENDERS ACTRESS ANN MITCHELL BECOMES PATRON OF SUSSEX BEACON Award-winning actress Ann Mitchell has become a patron of the Brighton HIV charity Sussex Beacon.

Ann, who plays Cora Cross in EastEnders, accepted the role after visiting the charity in September.

She was so impressed after her first visit that she returned last month fellow actresses Angela Lonsdale and Martina Laird who are well known for their roles in Coronation Street and Casualty. They spent a considerable time meeting staff and service users and learning more about the Beacon’s work.

All three have offered their support, particularly as the Beacon prepares to celebrate its 20th anniversary next year. Ann said: “Meeting the wonderful staff and some of the people who benefit from the support and care provided by the Beacon was a great privilege.

“The Sussex Beacon is one of the most special places I have ever visited. It is a unique haven.” She appears in the new film version of The Deep Blue Sea

by Brighton playwright Terence Rattigan which is released in just over a fortnight.

Simon Burgess, the charity’s chairman, said “We are absolutely delighted to welcome Ann as a patron of the Sussex Beacon and we look forward to her future support enormously.”

012_013_LS551_albiondps_editorial 04/11/2011 10:45 Page 2

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SPORT

latest SEAGULLS Up the Albion!

Mark Brailsford looks backward and forward

I

t is with some trepidation that I approach this week’s column. Following the hard won point in a drab affair against Birmingham at St Andrews and the rather depressing display at Watford mid-week (the Barnsley game we’ll leave behind for now), the Albion have a daunting task in their the next game: Southampton away.

official sponsor of

www.seagulls.co.uk

Sea-gals

over the summer so I was spending time doing that, but now the sea is too cold I’ll go back to swimming in a nice heated pool.

Jemma Turner, attacking midfielder, BHAWFC

What’s your favourite thing to do when you’re off the pitch?

Walks on the seafront, spending time with family in Essex, and relaxing.

How long have you been with the club?

Four years.

Birmingham City

What’s been the highlight of your career so far?

Being in the film Bend It Like Beckham when I was 17 years old.

I was on set for two weeks filming with all the stars!

The purpose of attending the Birmingham game was to see how an established, recent Premier League outfit, went about their match day preparations, how their media handling worked and the general atmosphere of hosting the Seagulls. The reception accorded to visiting teams is a curious one: it is a contrast of much appreciated courtesy and public ridicule. The half-time announcer had a cringe-inducing tendency of announcing the names of visiting substitutes using a tone of incredulity that stirs the mob to yell “oooo?”, which was faintly embarrassing. Aside from that it was great to see Albion play in a proper stadium, against strong opposition and not look out of place. It’s a shame about the game.

Photo: Paul Hazlewood

Which team is going to be your biggest competition this season?

I am currently playing in the reserve team where Arsenal reserves pose the biggest competition. They haven't lost a game yet, and I am looking forward to the challenge of playing them again.

What is your training regime out of season/in season?

I’m a personal trainer so I’m always doing something to keep myself fit.

Watford

“Craig Mackail-Smith

Watford away was an expensive looked increasingly way to depress yourself if you’re an Albion fan but despair ye not, frustrated up front” the outcome was clearly the result of carrying an injury depleted squad and, as ever with these things, it looked worse at the time. A lot of frustration in the impressive Albion support became evident when the ball seemed to be hoofed in the air rather too often and some of the more dependable players looking low on confidence: Gordon Greer had one or two worrying moments and Craig Mackail-Smith looked increasingly frustrated up front. Bridcutt going off after 20 minutes didn’t help although Bill Paynter showed some good touches in his first start but lacks sharpness that will surely come with more games. Apart from picking the ball out of the net, Harper only had one shot to save all game. The most worrying aspect to the match was the physical mismatch of the two teams. Watford appeared to have three or four heavyweight boxers playing and it wasn’t pretty. This is a real test for Gus Poyet now but hings will improve when his new signings get more familiar with their teammates and the plague of injuries ceases to deprive him of his best players.

Southampton After the international break (which couldn’t come sooner for Gus and his physios) the Albion face perhaps their toughest match of the season so far: Southampton away. Depending on the fall out from the Barnsley game and the availability of injured players, this could be the match of the season. If Vicente or Buckley can be patched up in time and if the team can assimilate Paynter and get CMS scoring again, who knows what will happen!

What other sports do you enjoy?

I got a surfboard

Do you have a favourite Brighton restaurant?

Yes, I have two, Jamie Oliver’s Italian and Piccolos.

Do you follow the men’s team?

Yes, I do. I think they are doing really well after just being promoted. I go and watch when I can get a ticket.

The atmosphere at The Amex is great.

Coming up for Brighton & Hove Albion Women’s Football Club: Colchester Utd (H), Sunday 13 November.

Photo: Paul Hazlewood

Do you follow a strict diet?

After doing an exercise nutrition course I do, especially when preparing for a game.

Where do you love to shop in Brighton and Hove?

The Lanes, it has my favourite shops on the same street: Jack Wills and All Saints.

blast from the past Stewart Weir on memorable moments from the Albion’s past. This week: the big freeze

S

o winter has arrived. In late December 1962 the first snow fell that would cause the sea to freeze one mile out from Herne Bay in Kent.

Football was paralysed and in Scotland a record that still stands today was made. The Stranraer vs Airdrie cup-tie was postponed 33 times, while in Yorkshire Barnsley played only two matches between 22 December and 12 March. Closer to home, the Goldstone Ground was defrosted using tarmac laying equipment. The grass was steamed alive and the pitch ruined. It wasn’t a good end of season for the Albion as they were relegated into the old Fourth Division. Nearly 48 years after the big freeze some things have changed. No tarmac laying hardware will be allowed onto the Amex pitch to steam the Rigby Taylor R14 dwarf ryegrass mix grass and the Albion will not be relegated into the Conference League.

012_013_LS551_albiondps_editorial 04/11/2011 10:46 Page 3

L7SEAGULLS 13

HOME GAME Adam El-Abd, defender, BHAFC Who is your sporting hero?

Carles Puyol of Barcelona.

What’s been your career highlight?

Winning The Championship in 2010/11 season.

And your worst career moment?

Right now, because I'm injured.

Apart from football, what other sports do you play or are interested in?

I follow rugby, golf and tennis.

What's the best advice you’ve ever been given?

Always listen.

Do you have a favourite restaurant?

Gaucho steakhouse in London.

How do you relax when not at the club?

I spend as much time with the family as I can, apart from that I sleep a lot!

What is your favourite holiday destination?

Sharm-el-Sheikh in Egypt.

What car do you drive?

Mercedes CL5.

What’ the most expensive item you’ve ever bought?

My house.

Coming up: BHAFC vs Southampton (A), Saturday 19 November

If you could live anywhere in Sussex where would it be?

In the country, near Poynings Village, not far from Brighton.

Where do you actually live?

Hove.

If your house was burning down, what one possession would you save?

My championship medal, and obviously my family too!

Where do you shop in Brighton & Hove?

Ha, I try to avoid it if possible!

What was the last book you read?

Andre Agassi's autobiography.

Grass warning at Withdean Stadium, as it was being prepared for the Albion in 1999

Photo: Paul Hazlewood

What are the most listened to songs on your iPod? Kings of Leon, especially their new one, or Stereophonics.

“The Goldstone Ground was defrosted using tarmac laying equipment. The pitch was ruined”

14 ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

A LOAD OF PANTS! We mean pantos.

Everyone loves them, except, of course, those people who can’t stand them, and there’s a bumper crop in the Sussex area this yuletide season.

HASTINGS, FESTIVAL THEATRE: PETER PAN 2004 X Factor winner Steve Brookstein is a mesmerising Captain Hook/Mr Darling with able support from Imogen Thomas as Peter and The Gadget Show’s Jon Bentley as Smee.

EASTBOURNE, DOME THEATRE: CINDERELLA How Clean Is Your House? stars Kim and Aggie are the ugly sisters in this entertaining show, with Maureen Driving School Rees as the Fairy

LEWES CIVIC THEATRE: BEOWULF Brave attempt to do something a bit different, which will baffle the punters, meaning they’ll be back to doing Dick Whittington next year. Starring Phil Cool and Jedward.

BRIGHTON ROYAL DOME: JACK AND THE BEANSTALK Extravaganza starring Stu “crush a grape” Francis, Lee Latchford-Evans, Chantelle Houghton, Jonny Wilkinson and Richard Markby, Britain’s second tallest man. Special guest appearances by Whigfield and the red power ranger.

BRIGHTON MEDIUM-SIZED THEATRE: ROBINSON BLEW-SO Decidedly adult version of the popular classic, featuring Bertie Ditch, Tettie Switts, Lady Pussy, Cookie Thunderbox, and Dame Jo Blob. Featuring the songs ‘Soggy Ship’s Biscuit’, ‘Going Down (With My Ship)’ and ‘Always On Friday’.

The latest apps for your mobile device.

NOT TONIGHT DARLING £1.19 If you’re tired of rebuffing unwanted sexual advances from your partner, this handy app can do it for you – firmly giving him or her the bum’s rush in the calm, nononsense tones of the former chancellor of the exchequer.

VERMILLION SKIES £2.99 Much too realistic post-apocalypse adventure game in which you must cope with radiation sickness, starvation and the knowledge that everyone you ever knew is dead, while scavenging an existence in the nuclear wastes of Pontefract.

PUB PHILOSOPHER £3.49 Help break the ice in the world of public house conversation with this helpful provider of choice maxims, bromides, and snippets of ill-thoughtout, barely-logical rationalisation on such topics as man’s place in the universe, the battle of the sexes, law and order, and immigration.

HOW IT COULD HAVE WORKED OUT £5.99 Fascinating new app which analyses your entire life through reference to your emails, photographs, and social networking relationships and then provides a crystal-clear, HD animation of exactly how wonderful your existence could be if only you’d behaved slightly differently.

THE INCREDIBLE STRING BAND PRETENDOSCOPE £1.79 Ever felt like claiming you were

In & Out SPECIAL “FICTIONAL ISLANDS” EDITION

In • Fantasy Island • Amity • Tracy Island • The Island of Doctor Moreau • Avalon

Out • The Mysterious Island • Utopia • The Island of Lost Souls • Sodor • The Isle of Dogs

8

WORTHING, ROYAL THEATRE: ALADDIN With Leonard Fenton (Dr Legg from EastEnders) as Abanazar, Lisa ScottLee as Aladdin and the welcome return of Jeremy Spake as Widow Twankey.

Godmother, terroristpuncher John Smeaton as Buttons.

What’s App-ening?

8

014_LS551_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 04/11/2011 14:42 Page 2

once in the seminal ’60s Scottish psychedelic folk band, but worried your story wouldn’t stand up to scrutiny? Well, worry no longer – simply pop in your earphones and this app will feed you long anecdotes about working with Robin Williamson or the difficulties in getting the sound balance right while recording Liquid Acrobat As Regards The Air. “I’d always wanted to pretend I’d been in The Incredible String Band.

Once I’d got the Pretendoscrope I had the whole pub convinced within minutes. Thanks, Pretendoscope!”

– Dave Criswell, Newton Abbott.

Mad Matt Matt Whistler wants to be Christmas Number One but what does his pool cleaner make of it all?

M

att Whistler is currently away due to a polkadot condition. This week’s exclusive is with Kent Pristine, Matt Whistler’s pool cleaner: “I have cleaned pools for all the greats – Sinatra, Sellers, Gaga – but I have to say I have never been in a position where I am demanding my own P45 for instant dismissal. Sir Whistler, as he likes to be addressed, makes me clean the pool on a 24 hour, seven days a week shift. I have been living on pro plus and my urine is bright orange. Sir Whistler makes me empty the pool and then refill it in front of guests with bottles of the finest water. Just to keep me

busy he tips all his office shredder contents into the pool. Removing his dressing gown for a swim is degrading as it is usually ridden with toast crumbs. It is even more embarrassing watching him trying

to use a polkadot tea tray as a lilo.

“I’m glad to be having a rest from his presence as he is currently away trying to hype up some cheesy tripe for Christmas Number One, which I want nothing to do with. Although having 24 hour surveillance linking into Sir Whistler’s phone doesn’t help, as he forces me to spend all my wages on his Christmas number via iTunes.

“I am seriously considering replacing his pool water with carbolic acid, although being a practising buddhist for the last ten years, I am not allowed to let these destructive thoughts enter my head. I’m hanging my net up.

I quit.”

Read Matt’s full blog at www.facebook.com/ mattwhistlerbrighton

015_LS551_cityspeak_Editorial 04/11/2011 09:23 Page 1

CITY SPEAK

Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw spends some time in weirdville

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n our way back from our week empty. I think I almost missed in Bridport in August we turning a corner and bumping drove through Poundbury, the into a group of wasted girls on a pioneering urban extension to hen night.

Dorchester, built on land belonging I had only been able to locate to the Duchy of Cornwall and based one B&B in the whole of on Prince Charles’s principals of Poundbury and I had thought it urban development. We thought it was due to my lack of computer would be interesting to spend more skills. But we learned that the time there, so L and I returned to town only allows one business of Poundbury for a few days. each category in each area – thus Looking out of my one dentist, one bedroom window on newsagent, one “It was like the first morning it hairdresser etc. was like awakening there is awakening on However on an Agatha still a lot of building Christie’s Miss Marple a Miss Marple taking place around film set. The absence the edges of the of yellow lines and area and a large film set” traffic notices expansion northwards together with the is about to take place, trailing roses around doors and so I was amused that the one windows made it seem like the business not affected by the One ’50s. The different types of Only Rule was the estate agent. architecture – Georgian, Victorian, There were several. I asked in one olde-worlde cottage – was (I explained that I might have plans bewildering. When we walked to sell up and move to Poundbury) through the streets later there if there were any restrictions on was a feeling of stillness and daily living for the residents. The tranquillity but everybody we met man looked down at his folders and was extremely chatty and helpful. smiled. “We attract a certain type Apparently there is an extremely of person, so we don’t need rules,” low crime rate, due perhaps to the he said. excellent street lighting and the He would not be drawn further. uncluttered streets. The open I can only assume he thought I areas are gravelled, which was not a suitable candidate for apparently discourages skate Poundbury. That’s all right. I don’t boarding. As we walked back from want to leave Brighton. It allows the (only) pub one evening it me to grow old as disgracefully as seemed strangely quiet and I am able.

15

Teen Spirit Tasha Dhanraj on a proposal with a ring of truth

A

t long, long last my cousin three weeks and proposed to her on Sarah and her long, long term a balcony overlooking the beach. boyfriend, Jez, have finally How disgustingly clichéd this all got engaged. Thank goodness. I’m sounds would almost make me amazed he lasted five years before feel ashamed to know Jez; folding under the pressure of my however, with the actual proposal Grandma to pop the question. In he really did us proud. He had my family, if you’ve been dating purchased her a beautiful, white over a month and your boyfriend gold diamond ring, but instead of isn’t shopping for a ring then he’s proposing to her with that, he bent not serious enough. My Grandma is down on one knee and presented worse than Beyoncé. to her a £4 ring from Primark. He The proposal took waited for her to say place at the most yes (which she said fashionable immediately after ten engagement spot. minutes of stunned “My Grandma Kenya. After Will and silence) and then Kate agreed to marry is worse than showed her the real each other there, all ring. Cynics might the twentysomething Beyoncé” think the reason for women I know with this was to make sure boyfriends they had that she loved him kept hold of for over a regardless of how big couple of years started showing the diamond was, but truthfully, me luxury resorts in East Africa on he wanted to make her laugh. their iPhone and explained to me In my opinion, Jez did the whole how they were going to lure their thing the right way. That’s what a significant other to the destination. proposal should be about. It While Sarah and Jez did get should be a reflection of your engaged there, they did have a relationship. Theirs is great deeper reason for being there than because of the fun they have Sarah wanting to feel like a together, and that’s why they princess. My cousin had spent the should get engaged and that’s last three months working in a why their engagement was as it poverty-stricken school in an area was. Then again, my relationships of Kenya affected by drought and are based on cider, ravioli and DVD famine. Jez then went out to meet box sets. I just hope my boyfriend her as her time with the school doesn’t take this to mean I want was coming to an end and him to propose by the checkout swooped her away to a hotel for at Tesco...

William Tells

S

Illustration: Graham Clark www.drawnin1985.com

“So it’s not society telling us to be perfect; it’s something we tell ourselves?

Is that what you’re saying?”

“I’m saying we are society,” he steps back to make way for a Swedish male model made entirely of hair. “Being an A-list gay, it costs money. It’s not just the gym membership; it’s the skin, the hair, the teeth.”

Will Harris on the price of being perfect “Not a problem for me.” I pull my lips back, rictus style.

“Your bottom set could use a little work. Hey, you’re the one talking about perfection; it’s an itting in a shopping centre toilet, trousers unforgiving principle.” round my ankles and swigging from a bottle As I bid the South African a less than fond of Courvoisier, it occurs to me I’m a long farewell, I bump into an Aussie couple I know. way from perfect. I should explain. The reason They are not A-gays, but have been granted for this unconventional pit-stop is my friend M, free passage tonight under the global gay or rather my friend M’s habit of inviting me to currency of having really big arms. I’m curious very grand house parties with very affluent gay how much perfect guns like theirs cost. men, which I always find easier to face after a “Well, N probably spends about £430 a slug of Dutch courage. Upwardly mobile, wellmonth,” S tells me. “Personal training mostly, connected and fastidiously groomed, legend has but also gym fees, supplements...” it the A-gays can make or break a man with one “Protein,” growls N. flick of a fourth generation smartphone.

“I probably spend a little less than that; maybe As expected, M’s town house is crawling with high£400 a month.” functioning homos; lawyers, bankers, stars of stage I blink. You don’t have to be Carol Vorderman to work this and screen. Outside, the rain is driving down, so the A-gays one out. Together, this couple are spending more each month on are crammed against the French windows, each one a sardine with their bodies than I spend on rent. an expense account. Which is how, somewhere between Ben Summerskill and “Oh, it’s not that much really,” says M, ever the host, carving fat slices off a a pitcher of Campari, I find myself pressed up against a Nigella Lawson gammon he woke up at 5am to South African. He works for Bloomberg and he’s cute. stud with cloves. "No wives. No kids. Who else are “Did you know,” he says, “the average model in Nuts “This couple are spending we going to spend it on?” magazine is size 14.” I tell him I did not. “Oh yah,” he As he carves, the light glints off the TAG Heuer continues. “Straight men want curves. The desire for at his wrist, and I wonder if he has a point. more each month on their women to be size zero doesn’t come from men; it follow me on twitter bodies than I spend on rent” latestwill comes from other women.”

016_LS551_snapshots-comps _Editorial 04/11/2011 10:18 Page 2

16 SNAP SHOTS

Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: charity fundraisers & documentary filmmakers Jack Rubinstein, Oscar Freemantle & Oliver Martin

“

We all had our individual reasons for taking part in the Mongol Rally but it was also the opportunity to make a feature documentary capturing the highs and lows of travelling and portray fascinating countries that are virtually off the tourist radar. What we want to convey the most in our film is that the world is a much more friendly place than it is often portrayed and that there is amazing potential for all sorts of adventure, friendship, and freedom.

”

Close friends Oscar Freemantle, Oliver Martin, and Jack Rubinstein (pictured) along with Edgar Laver, recently returned from the Mongol Rally – an adventure across Europe and Asia which raised over £200,000 for charity. They covered 10,000 miles over mountains and deserts, capturing their experiences on film for new documentary Return Of The Yak. With their car, a Skoda Fabia (with a yak sitting on the roof), they took the southern route through Turkey, Iraq, Iran, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Russia, and finally Mongolia. www.returnoftheyak.com, see also our charity feature special, p21

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

COMPETITIONS FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA DVDS

Three classic Francis Ford Coppola films are released on DVD in the UK this week. Romantic, Broadwaylike musical drama One From The Heart boasts an original soundtrack from Tom Waits (Oscar nominated for Best Musical Score) with vocal duets from Crystal Gale.

Cult classic The Escape Artist tells the story of Danny Master, son of magician and escape artist Harry Masters. The eclectic cast includes Raul Julia, Desi Arnaz Jr., Joan Hackett, and Teri Garr. Hammett is a classic homage to noir films and pulp fiction produced by Ford Coppola and the American directorial debut of Wim Wenders (Paris, Texas).

It received a Palme d’Or nomination at Cannes.

(The special edition Blu-ray of Coppola’s The Conversation is also out now). For a chance to win one of five sets of all three films answer the following question.

Q. Which Godfather film did Coppola direct?

PIANOMANIA DVDS

Pianomania is an award-winning documentary that takes the viewer along on a humorous journey into the secret world of sounds, and accompanies Steinway piano tuner Stefan Knüpfer at his job with world famous pianists. This unusual film

by Lilian Franck and Robert Cibis tells – with love and humour – of moments of absolute love of attention to detail and perfection. Pianomania observes, from unique angles, the suspenseful search for the perfect tone. A documentary about love, perfection and a little bit of madness... we have five copies of this DVD to give away.

Q. How many keys are there on a standard piano?

comes to Theatre Royal Brighton, from 18 to 31 December and we have five sets of family tickets to give away. Join the award-winning TV superheroes as they embark on their first live adventure with fun, comedy, music and excitement. To enter the competition, just answer this simple question.

Q: What is the name of the BabyExpo sleep expert? Find the answer online at www.brightonbabyexpo.co.uk/baby-show

NUMBERJACKS LIVE ON STAGE

You and your family could be in with a chance to win tickets to see Numberjacks: Live on stage at Theatre Royal Brighton, courtesy of BabyExpo Brighton. The biggest baby show and family fun day for the South returns to the city on 13 November at the Amex Community Stadium.

This year’s BabyExpo is bigger and better than ever, with 200 companies already signed up to take part and Cbeebies’ Phil Gallagher of Mister Maker fame opening the event! Numberjacks: Live

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,

EMAIL competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email.

Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 28 November 2011.

017_LS551_celebcity_Celebcity 04/11/2011 12:56 Page 1

SPONSORED BY

CELEBCITY

17

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Proud Brighton Ballroom was the place to be last week when Rizzle Kicks smash the Ballroom, David Dimbleby Brighton boys Rizzle Kicks came home to launch their debut at the Amex and Mel C gets fishy at Moshi Moshi album: Stereo Typical. We managed to wangle our way into VIP to watch Harley and Jordan take to the !

D stage and storm E T T O SP hi through the tracks Moshi Mos e! at d te ot sp ag ur Mel C on their fresh new ith her ento ing her w on ht ig do in Br album. The duo et must beoked ‘slim di i sh su e Th as she lo have gone from some good ’ according to The ng strength-to-strength and stunniHealth and Beauty Lanes Coates! since topping the owner Julie charts with the record ‘Skips a Beat’ with Olly Murs. Their singles from the debut album – ‘Down With the Trumpets’ and ‘When I Was a Youngster’ have both reached the top ten in the UK this year and they totally rocked the party when they played them for the crowd. Displaying their love for samples and collaborations the boys also sang tracks by other current artists such as Brit-female Jessie J. And, despite their highly energetic set, the boys hung around to party afterwards along to their guest DJs who span some hot hip-hop sounds. Jordan and Harley enjoyed a few drinks whilst chatting to friends and fans and then went out to hit Brighton hard. It was a really fantastic night and we wish the boys all the success with the album, which is out now – we highly recommend.

HAPPY AS HARRY

BBC Pictures

FATBOY INSPIRATION

Congrats to Norman Cook, aka Fatboy Slim, for winning the Q Inspiration Award.

Q magazine are clearly big fans of the Portslade based DJ – naming him as one of the top 50 acts to see before you die. Don’t miss out on seeing him next year on June 1 and June 2 at the Amex Stadium!

D! TTE as at O P w S ion’s bleby

Dim e Alb d.

David n and Hovst Ham Ut e e h to Brigh against Wf Polegate cal lo h o matc resident upport his uice As a ere to s is with J h was t . Here he ry own team FM’s ve loyd Guy L

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

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18

L7 INTERVIEW

JERRY CURL Jerry Sadowitz has been lauded as a comedian’s comedian, performing his misanthropic comedy and magic show.

Victoria Nangle asks a few questions of the famously private performer

J

erry Sadowitz was crowned 15th Greatest Comedian in Channel 4’s 2007 list of the funniest people around. He had his own television show in the ’90s, The Pall Bearer’s Revue, with a still young Channel 4, but apart from a few cameos, precious clips and short sets he’s stayed off the small screen since then. His taboo-busting antagonism, vitriolic and misanthropical content and stalwart outsider perspective has seen Sadowitz gather a cult following away from the popular Saturday night stand-up TV shows and Christmas DVD releases.

A vehement alternative to the ‘Alternative’ comedy of the ’90s and still forging a path of his own, with several published books on magic under his belt and huge respect in both magical and comedic circles, we were very fortunate to get a chance to ask Jerry a few question of our own. Not that he was going to pull any punches with his answers...

How different is your onstage persona from the you that walks down the street afterwards?

They are both awful. The one on stage actually thinks he has something to offer. The one offstage is beyond despair, desperation and bitterness but he’s too cowardly to kill himself.

Your own delivery with comedy magic combo is incredibly unique to you and appreciated by your audiences. What’s your favourite kind of audience to receive it?

I have no idea of who it is that comes to watch me!

As long as they don’t leave wanting a refund, I can breathe a sigh of relief.

How did your aggressive delivery first develop?

Intense anger of everything that I have experienced, not experienced and observed since birth.

What inspires you when you write a new show?

I’ll let you know when that happens.

You were voted 15th greatest stand-up in C4’s 100 Greatest Stand-ups in 2007, however your persona on stage is very anarchic. How much do industry accolades matter to you?

One needs the industry to some degree just to work.

To be embraced by them is something else entirely.

You are widely recognised as a superb close-up magician, yet sometimes this is usurped by your comedy content and delivery in the show. How do you feel about this?

I’d love to tour a show of close up magic with a screen, projector and camera, but the costs versus the number of people who would come and see me make that prohibitive. The irony is that some magician with very little talent, but lots of TV publicity, will be able to do that. Meanwhile, my hands are getting drier and I'm getting some arthritis, so its all academic. Like my whole life!

It was reported that you recorded some shows earlier this year for a DVD release, provided you were happy with the filming. Is this going to be released this year at all?

No, because the deal fell through. I’m kind of glad it isn’t going to happen though. If I had my way, there would be nothing out there whatsoever, and there would be nothing on earth after I die to show that I was here at all. But old age and heating bills might deny me that one too.

I remember thoroughly enjoying The Pall Bearer’s Revue on C4 and disappointment at its early demise. Would you ever consider having another TV show focused around you?

That’s very kind of you to say that, but it was my first TV performance, and I do not think I carried it off well at all. I would have got better though. I’d love to do more TV inasmuch as it brings opportunities to do stuff that I can’t do on stage.

However, I am so eaten with contempt for the BBC and Channel 4 for their sheer denial of my existence, and the perpetual use of my material through other ‘comics’ that I don’t know if I could

bring myself to do anything for them now.

Just as well I’m not asked then, eh?!

Who do you rate in terms of comedy performers?

There’s so many I despise that it clouds my mind from thinking of those who I like. There are a few, but most are dead or retired. Of recent years, I think Eddie Izzard and Phil Kay are not only great stand ups but genuinely original.

What makes you laugh so much you lose all natural balance?

The funniest things happen when you are with friends.

I can’t remember the last time I really laughed.

What is the most bizarre occurrence to ever happen at a show of yours – planned or unplanned?

I was the last act on a late night comedy bill in Edinburgh 2006 and the whole audience walked out on me. All of them! It started out with one person, then a couple, then another couple and then there was a slow motion exodus. The only people left standing were some comedians and a promoter at the back of the room who thought it was hilarious.

Strangely, it was a comedy character that I was doing, a kind of ‘intro’ to the main set. I hadn't even got to the “offensive” material.

Jerry Sadowitz, Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne, Thursday 10 November, 8pm, £18.

To book contact 01323 412000 or online www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk

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COVER FEATURE 19

...AND ACTION Brighton Film School relaunches with extensive new courses

B

righton Film School has been relaunched under new management to offer a more extensive range of flexible, competitively priced courses leading to nationally recognised qualifications in the film industry.

The Film School has been running successful courses for over ten years and the new owners – Brighton Film Productions – want to build on that foundation and offer a wider range of courses in film production, screenwriting and acting for camera.

The new owners of the school are best film school in the south east, Andrew Green (currently Deputy providing both film and digital Principal of Chichester College, training for those who want to formally Vice Principal at City College work in the British film industry.”

Brighton and Hove for ten years) and The school is offering a BTEC Gary Barber (currently teaching film Higher National Certificate/Diploma production at City College Brighton (HNC/HND), a nationally recognised and Hove, and a local film maker). qualification as a part time The extensive range of evening course or a twofilm equipment already in Brian Tufano day per week course. the school has been Brighton Film School is expanded to include a registered to offer Career brand new suite of the Development Loans that latest Apple Macs which are payable once the will be installed with all the course is completed. latest industry standard Other payment options software. These new are termly payments or resources will complement monthly standing orders. the impressive range of The school will also existing film equipment in actively assist students the school, such as the in obtaining work to Mitchell Super 35mm Carol Harrison help pay their fees. camera from Hollywood.

Gary Barber, the Andrew Green, chief Film School’s head of executive of Brighton Film development, said: School, said: “The School “With the government’s has already become well increase in university known in the region over fees, the relaunch of the the last ten years. We Film School comes at a now want to make it the

particularly crucial time, offering greater choice and value for money.

Students taking the HNC/D can undertake the first two years of a degree for £10,000 without being forced to face such a crippling lifelong debt.

“Our courses will give the students both practical skills in camera, sound, editing and production management as well as introducing them to the industry so they are able to work as freelancers in either film or television.”

Acclaimed cinematographer Brian Tufano, whose credits include Trainspotting, Billy Elliot, Shallow Grave, Quadrophenia, East Is East and Kidulthood, will be one of Brighton Film School’s patrons and guest lecturers. During a recent visit to the Film School, he praised the high standard of equipment and teaching support that would be on offer to students.

Local actress and writer, Carol Harrison, whose credits include EastEnders, Human Traffic, The Bill and Brush Strokes, will also be closely involved in the school as its creative director, running courses in acting for camera and screenwriting.

Dan Parkes, ex-Brighton Film School student, whose work includes the award-winning short film ARP, said: “Applying for a place on the One-Year Pre-MSC in cinematography at Brighton Film School was one of the best decisions of my life as during the three terms there, I was able to produce three films which eventually went on to make my course fees back.

“Within a year of completing the course I had also set up a successful film production company that now operates full time, and have gone on to make a feature film starring a well respected British actor that has won several awards and is in distribution.

“Unlike many other schools which will spoon feed you theory and give you limited practice, Brighton Film School is all about hands-on practice and industry opportunities. This does require a lot more self-initiative and self-motivated learning, but these

Courses From mid-November, evening and weekend courses will be starting at Brighton Film School in: Film-making A practical introduction to film and digital video where students will develop, shoot and edit a short piece.

Editing Come and test the new Final Cut Pro X software on this editing course which covers importing, cutting and effects.

Scriptwriting An introduction to scriptwriting which will cover structure, genre, plot and characterisation while students develop their own short scripts.

Acting for Camera Learn the particular demands of acting for the screen. Students will have the opportunity to view and analyse their own work, and to compare various screen acting techniques.

Art Direction An introduction to art direction in film and television. Students are taught the basic skills needed to work in an art department in the film and television industry. The course is practical and project based and includes script analysis, surveying, research methods, technical drawing, model making and design.

are important ingredients for anyone thinking of pursuing a career in the film industry and hence the school is a good testing ground to see whether you have what it takes to make it in the business or not.

Brighton Film School is located in the Brighton Forum building on Ditchling Road, a central location that is close to public transport links and all city centre amenities.

For further information about Brighton Film School, visit www.brightonfilmschool.co.uk or contact Andrew Green/Gary Barber on info@brightonfilmschool.co.uk or on 01273 602070.

Pictures courtesy of Parkes Productions Ltd www.parkesproductions.com

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CHARITY EVENTS 21

Heroes Run In May 2012 local charity Pass It On Africa will be putting on their Heroes Run event for the eighth year running.

The Brighton Heroes Run is one of four events that Pass It On Africa are holding next year to raise the funds needed to build, support and develop three schools in Africa.

There will be a 5km or 10km race for the adults and a 500 metre dash for mini Heroes. The event organisers are aware that many people are feeling the pinch at the moment and have reduced their race entry prices so that hopefully as many people as possible can still get involved.

It costs £12 to enter the 5km race, £14 to enter the 10km race and just £3 to enter the 500 metre kids dash. The three other Heroes Run events are happening in London's Clapham Common in April and in Southampton and Poole in October. The Heroes Run events have a habit of selling out fast so to avoid missing out on all the fun please go to www.heroesrun.org.uk If you are a school, business or charity wanting to buy a block of Heroes Run places, that will also allow you a presence on the day, please call James on 07967 189 482. For more information about the charity that puts on this event please go to www.pioafrica.org.uk.

Heroes Run, Sunday 20 May 2012, Brighton seafront, www.heroesrun.org.uk

Fun run

Latest 7 looks at the events taking place in aid of local and national charities

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here’s no better way to spread festive cheer than by supporting charities in local events. If the idea of running a marathon is something you’ve always wanted to do but you are daunted by the prospect, choose to make 2012 your year (just as the Olympics craze sweeps the UK!).

Whether you choose to walk or run, charity fundraisers can be great experiences to share with friends and family. And don’t forget there are other ways to show your support for charities too – stewarding on the day for example. There’s so much happening across the city from races for Santas and super heroes to a relaxed evening of entertainment at the Royal Pavilion.

Find out about them all right here in our special guide. It’s all you need whether you’re a fundraising novice or seasoned pro. Ready, set, go!

Santa Dash

In 2012 The Brighton Marathon is supporting over 300 charities and expect to significantly exceed the estimated £6 million already raised for good causes over the past two years. In the Olympic year The Brighton Marathon are pleased to have chosen eight official charity partners: NSPCC, Hope For Children, Albion In The Community, Rise, St Barnabas House, Amaze, The Whitehawk Inn and Raystede – the centre for animal welfare.

Aside from raising valuable funds, charities can act as a lifeline for anyone who has missed out on a place in the event. All runners have to do is contact the charity of their choice listed on the website at www.brightonmarathon.co.uk/charity.html and start getting in shape for the big day.

Brighton Marathon, 15 April 2012, www.brightonmarathon.co.uk

Seeking all budding Santas! The Brighton Santa Dash is back and bigger than ever. Over 500 runners are expected to run the flat 5km course all dressed as Santa in aid of Pass It On Africa. There is no need to be wildly fit; just up for a bit of fun – you can even walk the route if you wish.

The ‘dash’ takes place Saturday 10 December at 10.30am. It will start and finish on Brighton seafront, opposite Adelaide Crescent near the Peace Statue.

To enter, all budding Santas should sign up at www.santadash.com. It’s only £12 and that includes the suit, so arrive early to don your costume.

The aim is to raise money for local charity, Pass It On Africa; a bunch of awesome guys helping to build schools in some of Africa’s poorest regions. So do something good this Christmas. Please join in for some healthy festive fun.

Santa Dash, Saturday 10 December, 10.30am, www.santasdash.com

Photos: JJ Waller

Brighton Marathon

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CHARITY EVENTS

Macmillan

Rise Running a marathon is easier said than done, so the fundraising team at Rise have a cunning plan to help you reach your goal. Take the Rise Charity Challenge and, along with a great and distinctive running shirt, you will enter a total of three runs culminating in the Brighton Marathon. Run a 5K or 10K, followed by the Brighton Half Marathon in February – small bites of the apple to prepare for your big day in April. Rise will also help you along your way with professional motivational and fitness sessions from FitBitch Boot Camp & Running Club and Bright Futures Coaching.

Rise is a domestic abuse charity offering refuge, helpline and support for families affected by violence, and is an official local charity for the Brighton Marathon. Whether you have your own place or want to take part with a charity – join Team Rise and make the difference.

Rise, 01273 622828, www.riseuk.org.uk

23

Join Team Macmillan for the 2012 Brighton Marathon on 15 April.

One in three of us will get cancer and it’s the toughest fight most of us will ever face. By joining Team Macmillan in the Brighton Marathon you're helping support people and their families living with cancer.

Macmillan are the nurses and therapists helping you through treatment; the advisers telling you which benefits you’re entitled to; the volunteers giving you a hand with the everyday things; the campaigners pushing for better cancer care; the fundraisers who make it all possible. We can all be part of the team. Be part of Team Macmillan and help make a difference.

Visit www.macmillan.org.uk/brightonmarahton or call 020 7840 4937.

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CHARITY EVENTS

Rockinghorse

The Martlet’s Hospice

Keep giving and party on with the Rockinghorse Cool Britannia Ball on Saturday 19 November at Hilton Brighton Metropole.

Celebrate all that is great about Britain – iconic brands, British food and your favourite anthems.

The evening, which is sponsored by Skerritts Wealth Management, will start with a sparkling pre-dinner drinks reception, followed by live entertainment, a three-course meal and the chance to bid for some fantastic prizes.

All money raised will go towards helping sick and disabled children in Sussex and Surrey. Tickets cost £90 each or £850 for a table of ten. For more information call Allie on 01273 330044.

Running more your thing?

Run for Rockinghorse! The charity has a number of places for Brighton Marathon 2012 and a limited number of places for Virgin London Marathon. To join the Rockinghorse team, or for more information, call Paul on 01273 330044.

Visit Rockinghorse’s website for more exciting events: www.rockinghorse.org.uk/events

For most people Christmas is a time for celebration but if you’ve lost someone close to you Christmas can be a very sad occasion. Staff at The Martlet’s Hospice know only too well how bereavement can affect you, and because of this each year they hold Light Up A Life ceremonies. It’s a very special way to remember someone you’ve lost.

They’re keen to point out that these ceremonies aren’t religious and you don’t need to have a personal connection to The Martlet’s.

It’s an opportunity to come together and find comfort in remembering a loved one at Christmas. Light Up A life is open to everyone; all they ask is that you make a donation to The Martlet’s in memory of the person you’ve lost.

Ceremonies are being held in Peacehaven, at the Meridian Centre on Sunday 27 November and at the Hospice itself in Hove on Friday 2 December, Sunday 4 and Sunday 11 December. Full details and dedication forms are available on www.themartlets.org.uk or by calling the events team on 01273 747455.

The Martlet’s are facing their toughest ever financial year, and sadly they recently announced the closure of their Day Hospice due to a drop in income. So this year The Martlet’s needs your support more than ever, they’re appealing for local people to help them by joining one of their many events this Christmas.

All their events are listed www.themartlets.org.uk

Saturday 12th November & Sunday 13th November The Martlets Christmas Fair

Christmas starts early at the Martlets – our Christmas Fair will be jam packed with everything you need for Christmas. Stock up on cards, wrapping paper, decorations; take your pick from a range of delicious seasonal chutneys and jams. Take a break from shopping with a welcome cup of coffee and a mince pie or two.

Date: Saturday 12th 10am - 4pm & Sunday 13th November 11am - 3pm Venue: Martlets Hospice, Wayfield Avenue, Hove, BN3 7LW Tickets: Free entry

Saturday 3rd December The Christmas Pudding Race

Don't drop the Christmas pudding! Make it round the obstacle course, cross the finishing line and claim your medal. The great Christmas Pudding Race in aid of the Martlets Hospice is back again this year.

Get a team of five together and register now for your relay around a crazy course in New Road, Brighton.

Date: Saturday 3rd December at 11am Venue: New Road, Brighton Tickets £20 team registration fee plus raise team sponsorship of £425, download an entry form www.xmaspuddingrace.org.uk/Brighton_Race.html

Saturday 3rd December Vintage Me at Christmas Selling vintage party wear just in time for the festive season as well as stylish clothes from the 20's to the 80's. A marvellous collection of accessories will be on sale - hats, shoes, gloves and jewellery. You'll find vintage china, linen and glassware, displayed on antique furniture.

Date: Saturday 3rd December, 10am - 5.30pm Venue: Unitarian Church, New Road, Brighton Tickets: Free entry

Sunday 18th December Martlets Christmas Musical Spectacular Clap your hands, stamp your feet and sing your heart out to your favourite carols and Christmas songs at the first ever Martlets Christmas Musical Spectacular. It's more than just a sing along; you'll enjoy performance from guest choirs from Brighton Theatre Group, Shine Theatre Company and Brighton Rock Choir. A Christmas show packed with fun filled entertainment.

Date: Sunday 18th December Venue: Hove Centre Tickets: from £10, book online www.brightonticketshop.com or call the Box Office 01273 709709

phone to book tickets: 01273 747455

www.themartlets.org.uk

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CHARITY EVENTS

27

NSPCC The Mayor’s Charity To get you in the mood for Christmas the Mayor’s Charities have organised two fabulous events in stunning surroundings. The Mayor of Brighton and Hove, Councillor Ann Meadows, invites you to join her and her three chosen charities: The Sussex Beacon, the Federation of Disabled People and Rise, for two wonderful evenings: The Swingin’ Sixties Spectacular Dinner and Dance at The Amex Stadium, and Written In Waters, an evening of music entertainment at The Royal Pavilion. Spread some festive cheer by supporting these important local causes while also having a fantastic evening! With the opportunity to party and dine at the spectacular American Express Community Stadium, or soak up the grandeur and beauty of the Royal Pavilion, don’t delay, book your tickets today!

Swingin’ Sixties Spectacular Dinner and Dance, Friday 11 November, The Amex Stadium, 7.30pm, tickets cost £50 and inclue a three-course meal; Written In Waters (acoustic) with performers from Brighton & Hove Music & Arts, The Royal Pavilion, Friday 2 December, 7.30pm, tickets £20 to include wine and canapés, 01273 291225, www.sussexbeacon.org.uk

Join NSPCC teamGO for Brighton Marathon on 15 April 2012 and bring them one step closer to ending cruelty to children. As official National Charity for Brighton Marathon they guarantee an electric atmosphere and the ultimate feel good factor of knowing you are helping children when they are most in need.

You’ll be invited to an exclusive training day with Olympic athlete Liz Yelling and can look forward to cheering squads along the route, refreshments and a massage after you’ve crossed the finish line. NSPCC will also offer top-notch fundraising advice to help you reach your sponsorship target.

Every penny raised by their amazing runners will go towards the ChildLine 25th anniversary appeal. ChildLine has counseled over 2.6 million vulnerable children since 1986; help them be there for the next 25 years.

Ready to take on the challenge? Whether you have your own place or are looking for an NSPCC place, join teamGO by contacting gorunning@nspcc.org.uk or calling 020 7825 2621. www.nspcc.org.uk/go

028_LS551_health/charity diary_Revitalise 04/11/2011 10:56 Page 2

28 HEALTH | CHARITY EVENTS

Ready, set, go!

You’ve signed up for an active charity event, now make sure you train correctly

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harity events are great fun to participate in. Not only are you raising vital funds, but the preparation for a walk/run/skydive/ bungee jump/dance/swim (delete as appropriate!) will keep you healthy, focused and motivated. Remember, you don’t have to run an entire marathon; people get involved in walks and half marathons too, and you can choose to walk if you wish. Here are some tips before you embark on an active fundraising event.

Mongol Rally

• Train properly: Marathon event organisers will offer training days before the event. Take advantage of those available. You won’t need to train as vigorously for a charity walk; gentle exercise in the build up to the event is key.

Jack Rubinstein, Oscar Freemantle, Oliver Martin and Edgar Laver from Brighton recently completed the 10,000 mile Mongol Charity Rally, raising funds for Macmillan Cancer Support, The Christina Noble Children’s Foundation and Motor Neurone Disease Association. We take a peek at their travel blog...

• Eat right: Follow a diet plan or see a nutritionist. Eat balanced meals including plenty of carbs (rice, pasta, potatoes and cereal) for energy. On the day, drink plenty of water, and have food to hand including bananas and dark chocolate.

Days 6–9 Romania: We’ve been making fairly good progress through Europe, but this fell apart once we arrived in Romania – not due to any problems, but because we loved the country so much it was a massive struggle to leave!

• Wear appropriate footwear: Invest in comfortable walking shoes or trainers – and be sure to wear them in before you embark on a 10k for charity!

Days 20–22 Ashgabat to Davaza: We have taken great pleasure in riding on top of the yak throughout the trip, but we rode our yak for (possibly) the last time after we visited the fire pits. We were only driving around 10mph but the weight of three people riding the yak, combined with the bumpy desert terrain, caused us to tip onto the ground, busting the springs holding the lid of the roofbox in place. Thankfully we got away with just a few scratches.

• Warm up: All charity walks/runs will begin with warm-up exercises. These are an essential part of the event to warm up the muscles ready to work out.

• Have fun: Speak to anyone who has completed a marathon and they will tell you about how good it feels to complete it. The buzz is amazing, whether it’s a walk or run; not only are you keeping fit, you are helping others by raising essential funds for charities.

10k Jim Jam Walk in aid of St Wilfrid’sHospice, Eastbourne, September 2011

Days 23–24 An alien in Tehran: (Oscar) I waited in the reception room on a little chair. At one point, when I got up to go to the toilet, one of the guards pointed his AK right at me. After thinking about my request to go to the toilet for a while, I was allowed to get up, but it was 12.45 by this point and I was getting very worried. The messenger had said he’d be back by 12. My awareness of my status grew: I ran the risk of arrest for being an illegal alien in Iran.

Days 29–31 Almaty: Almaty seems to be from another continent from the rest of Kazakhstan. While most of the country is constituted by endless barren steppe, Almaty enjoys a cool temperate climate nestled at the base of a sheer mountain ridge. The culture change is equally stark. Almaty is probably the most cosmopolitan city we’ve visited since Istanbul.

Days 32–33 Russian border: An hour or so into Russia a car with two men full of good Russian spirit drove up alongside us. We tried to establish that we needed directions to get to Barnaul but something must have been lost in translation, as rather than pull out a map, the men opened their boot which was packed full of cognac. They brought out two bottles which we obligingly drained!

Read the entire blog at www.returnoftheyak.com, See also Snapshots, p16.

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latestzara

Diary of events 2011 Tuesday 8 November Charity Chuckle Stand up comedy in aid of the RSPB. Featuring David James. Latest Musicbar, Manchester Street, Brighton, 8.30pm, £8/5, www.charitychuckle.co.uk Friday 11 November Swingin’ Sixties Spectacular Dinner & Dance In aid of The Mayor’s Charities, The Amex Stadium, 7.30pm, £50, www.sussexbeacon.org.uk Saturday 12 November Charity Car Wash In aid of the British Legion Poppy Appeal, 10am, Mayberry Garden Centre, Old Shoreham Road, Portslade. www.mayberrygardencentre.co.uk The Martlet’s Christmas Fair Christmas gifts, decorations and cards. 10am–4pm, The Martlet’s Hospice, Wayfield Ave, Hove Sunday 13 November The Martlet’s Christmas Fair See Saturday, 11am–3pm, www.themartlets.org.uk

Tuesday 15 November Pre-Christmas Beauty Evening In aid of St Wilfrid’s Hospice, Eastbourne, Biba Hair & Beauty, 32 Beatty Road, Langney Point, Eastbourne, 6.30pm, 01323 728978 Saturday 19 November Rockinghorse Cool Britannia Ball Celebrating the best of British at the annual black tie event. £90 per person or £850 for a table of 10. 01273 330044, www.rockinghorse.org.uk Friday 2 December Written In Waters An evening of music with performers from Brighton & Hove Music & Arts in aid of The Mayor’s Charities. The Royal Pavilion, Brighton, 01273 291225, 7.30pm, £12 Saturday 3 December The Christmas Pudding Race In aid of The Martlet’s Hospice.

New Road, Brighton, 11am, www.xmaspuddingrace.org.uk Vintage Me At Christmas In aid of The Martlet’s Hospice. Unitarian Church, New Road, Brighton, 10am–5.30pm

2012 Wedensday 25 January Burns Night Supper In aid of St Wilfrid’s Hospice, Eastbourne.

The Langham Hotel, Eastbourne, 8pm, £19.75, 01323 637871

Tuesday 6 December Charity Chuckle Stand Up to End Violence Against Women. Featuring Zoe Lyons and others. In aid of Rise UK. Komedia, www.riseuk.org.uk Saturday 10 December Santa Dash 10.30am, Brighton Seafront (near the Peace Statue), £12 entry fee – includes the suit!

In aid of Pass It On Africa. www.santadash.com Sunday 18 December The Martlet’s Christmas Musical Spectacular Feel-good sing-along show feauring Brighton Rock Choir, Brighton Theatre Group and Shine Theatre Company. The Hove Centre, 4pm and 7.30pm, from £10, 01273 709709

Sunday 19 February Brighton Half Marathon Starts and finishes on Madeira Drive, Brighton seafront. www.brightonhalfmarathon.com Sunday 18 March Mother’s Day Skydive In aid of The Martlet’s Hospice. Book your place before 20 January 2012, 01273 747455.

Sunday 15 April Brighton Marathon The annual run returns to the Sussex Coast. www.brightonmarathon.co.uk Sunday 20 May Heroes Run Don a super hero outfit and take part in the 5k or 10k, plus there’s a 500m dash for kids to take part in too. In aid of Pass It On Africa. www.heroesrun.org.uk

029_LS551_food__food 04/11/2011 11:20 Page 1

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay keeps on singing at Gars

Sing for your supper E

verybody needs to find their inner karaoke number. I have several now and woe betide anyone who gazzumps me. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Why karaoke? This is my food page after all.

Let me explain. A few weeks ago I gathered a small group of my colleagues together and off we went to Gars for a very early Christmas party.

We have been to Gars for the Latest Christmas celebration several times and in a straw poll it comes out tops with all our staff.

Gars has been around for many years and I have been going there since day one. It manages to combine great classic Chinese cuisine with some newer culinary ideas and all in stylish surroundings. The staff are excellent and the addition of karaoke to the mix makes it an ideal option for any kind of a “If asked to choose party. Our motive was not early Christmas but just to have fun and fun one fun party place was had by all, even the karaoke shy and karaoke virgins were singing by to dine in style this the end of the evening.

Food of course is at the core of Christmas then what Gars do and it really is first class. We started with prawn crakcers Gars gets my vote” and drinks and then settled down to platters of excellent ribs, the fattest prawn toast in christendom, crisp salt and pepper squid and perfect grilled dumplings. We then had scallops steamed in their shell and giant prawns, totally delicious and super fresh.

The main course was served banquet style and it certainly looked the part with two whole steamed fish, one giant sea bass and a huge grey mullet as centre pieces. There were also delicious mussels, superb fillet steak, prawns, rice, noodles and several curry dishes including a rather good lamb one. We drank great wines too, Sheridan Cooper do a great job with the Gars wine list and we had a flight of wines matched to the foods, a great option that they are happy to provide.

The downstairs private dining room has recently been refurbished and now sports quirky Fornisetti wallpaper and shiny mirror finishes. It feels private too so you can let you hair down and sing away without feeling too exposed. And it’s not long before even the shyer members of the team had a mic in hand and were belting out songs from the shows.

If asked to choose one fun party place to dine in style this Christmas then Gars gets my vote.

Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton, 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk

Have you booked your party yet? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

29

030_LS551_Ads_Layout 1 04/11/2011 13:05 Page 2

30

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031_LS551_hotlist_Hotlist 03/11/2011 17:10 Page 1

HOTLIST 31

L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk British & modern European

Plateau, 1 Bartholomews, Brighton, BN1 1HG, 01273 733085

Bardsley’s

The Restaurant At Drakes

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials.

Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue.

There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Breeze Brasserie

A bright, chilled restaurant, Breeze is situated on North Laine’s busy Trafalgar Street. Relaxed and upbeat, Breeze’s atmosphere matches its name, with friendly service and an informal, vintage style look combining exposed brick with reclaimed clocks and mirrors and modern café seating and comfy banquettes.

Inspired by Modern European cuisine, Breeze serves brasserie style food, plus a good selection of heartier rustic dishes made with local produce, throughout the day – breakfast, lunch and dinner – as well as offering a well stocked bar for those lazy evenings enjoying cocktails and good food. A must after a day shopping at local boutiques or lazing on the beach, Breeze is the perfect addition to Brighton’s dining scene.

Breeze, 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4ER, 01273 693377, www.breezebrighton.co.uk

The Gallery Restaurant – The Lanes If you’re looking for an independent restaurant offering some of the very best steaks and British dishes then why not try The Gallery Restaurant? Located in an old fishing cottage in the very heart of Brighton’s Lanes, The Gallery Restaurant prides itself in offering the very best dishes, service and ambience – British style! In the summer they boast one of Brighton’s largest alfresco terraces with live jazz day and night, and in the winter the mood is relaxed and welcoming. Try their lunch set menu: one course for £7.95 or two courses for £10.95, and in the evenings two courses for £14.95 or three courses for £18.95.

28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL 01273 773327, www.thegallerybrighton.co.uk

The Loop Café-Bar & Coffee House

Nestling on Kemp Town seafront is this contemporary Anglo-Brazilian café-bar with a menu that features traditional English fare as well as some tasty Brazilian dishes.

Whether you choose one of the stylish red sofas, or the sunny south-facing front terrace, you can enjoy free Wi-Fi while you savour the homemade food and great selection of coffees.

Open 11am–8pm Monday–Friday, 10am–7pm Saturday and Sunday.

16 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 677944, www.theloop-brighton.co.uk

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting.

Locally-owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list, selected mainly from local merchants by GQ wine columnist Jonathan Ray, compliments their wholesome and satisfying food. Kids’ menu great value.

Open Mon–Thurs, 5pm–9.30pm; Fri–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm, and open all day bank holidays. Plus the garden is now open for summer!

120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200, www.oldbankkemptownbrighton.com

Plateau

Plateau is a unique bar à vin and restaurant.

They have put a great deal of time and love into selecting their wines. To soak up their wine they serve ‘bites’, small dishes that are perfect to share or great as a starter. Follow your ‘bites’ with a ‘plat’ or ‘plateau’ and that’s their dinner experience. But don’t forget to try their cocktails!

Awarded two AA Rosettes and having achieved the highest score in The Good Food Guide 2011 for the second consecutive year, The Restaurant At Drakes really has earned it’s reputation as Brighton’s finest restaurant.

Using only premium quality seasonal produce, Head chef Andrew Mackenzie and his team create superb modern European cuisine. Regularly changing two or three course dinner and lunch menus available daily or for a true foodie experience, opt for the gourmet five course Chef’s Taster Menu.

For an extra special touch, an elegant private dining room, with dedicated waiter is available for parties of up to 12 guests. The new summer terrace at Drakes is now open for informal alfresco lunches – perfect for well deserved sundowners after work.

43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

The Townhouse Restaurant Kemp Town

The Townhouse is discovering itself as a home for all, with a dining area, lounge bar, private function suite and a piano room. The head chef brings all his prestige from The London Dorchester to create a menu specialising in locally sourced steaks, seafood and vegetarian dishes, that fits the Brighton way. Whether you want a quick lunch or wish to stay the evening, they promise you a warm welcome that will make you not want to leave! Enjoy the live pianist Wednesday and Friday nights, 8pm–10pm, or the resident jazz band for Sunday roasts, 5pm–7.30pm. Don't forget their great value lunch set menu (two courses £11.95, three courses £15.95 ) and evening (two courses £15.95, three courses £18.95 ), which runs Monday toThursday. For promotions visit their website or call them.

81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton BN2 1PA, 01273 693216, www.thetownhousekemptown.co.uk

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order.

48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

Mange Tout

Mange Tout is an independent bistro that opened two years ago. Great French cooking and fresh, local, ethical produce has proved to be a success. Visit for breakfast for the acclaimed eggs Mange Tout, lunch for the daily specials or dinner for refined French classics. Local beers and carefully selected wines or just a freshly squeezed orange juice with your breakfast!

Mange Tout, 81 Trafalgar street, BN1 4EB, 01273 607270

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs.

No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return

again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer.

Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday.

A la carte menu available. Open 6pm.

10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp

Indian Chaula’s

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can feast upon a selection of award-winning King Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Romali Roti wraps and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too.

The Chilli Pickle has been recognised with a Michelin Bib, 2 AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK Restaurant in The National Restaurant Awards and runners up in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards.Lunch is served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential.

17 Jubilee Street, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900383, www.thechillipickle.com

Indian Summer

Nationally acclaimed and a favourite with locals, Indian Summer is celebrating its 10th anniversary. Serving favourites like masala dosa and bhel puri, the menu is influenced from genuine recipes covering south, north, and central india. For lunch you can choose two courses for £10 or a new tapas street menu with four choices for 11.95. An elegant evening set menu starts at £21.95. Booking is strongly advised. For offers and events find them on Facebook.

69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 711001, www.indian-summer.org.uk

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared daily and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily. Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am–3pm Sat, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350, www.mediterraneodeli.co.uk

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and “gin yur yur” (eat a lot!)

8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, www.thegreenmangohove.com

Wine bar Ten Green Bottles

Both a wine shop and bar, we offer an exclusive range of wines to take home or enjoy here by the glass or bottle, sourced direct from artisan producers across Europe.

Private tasting events can be organised, and, because we charge just a small corkage on a bottle to drink in, avoiding the usual markup, they are certainly the best value in Brighton for good quality wine!

9 Jubilee Street, Brighton, BN1 1GE, 01273 567176, www.tengreenbottles.com

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos.

Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Ten Green Bottles

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

032_033_LS551_reviewsbookings _Reviews 04/11/2011 10:07 Page 2

32

REVIEWS

L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk

The number one party venue in Europe’s sexiest city – BRIGHTON!

ALL WHITE WHITE NIGHT 2011, Brighton, 29 October JJJJJ

You make the booking, we make it happen.

Tell us what you want, we’ll provide it all.

A fabulous party and you have to do nothing!

NEW!! We can now film your party in high definition and give you a DVD to take away with you at amazing introductory prices. We are the first venue in the UK to offer this.

CALL JENNI OR RUTH ON 01273 687171 OR EMAIL BOOKINGS@THELATEST.CO.UK Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office Parties Hen and Stag Nights

D

espite a £45,000 funding shortfall, the White Night organisers were still able to offer an eclectic programme based around this year’s theme of Utopia. Having attended Nuit Blanche in Paris a few weeks ago, I was interested to see how Brighton would fare in comparison. A number of the more popular Paris installations were ridiculously oversubscribed so careful planning was required to avoid the queues. We started at the Alternative Village Fete, walking past the Occupy Brighton protesters who’d recently set up camp. Although the event had ended by 1am there were still lots of friendly zombies and tiger-suited revellers milling around, plus some hardy souls running the White Night Half Marathon. Then to the Dome where the foyer was rammed with long queues for the robot photo booth. The piano on Church Street was having its ivories tinkled by a succession of musicians of varying abilities but it was the Dollytopia event, on the corner of New Road and North Street, that really encapsulated the joyful vibe of the night. There was something extraordinary in witnessing two Dolly Parton impersonators belting out ‘9 To 5’, with the huddled masses singing along and dancing in the street – much to the taxi and bus drivers’ consternation. The queues outside The Basement were too long so we made tracks for The Prince Albert for the close of their Brighton Vs Amiens band night. Everyone was on their best, hedonistic behaviour throughout and it really cemented the claim for Brighton as the most up-for-it city in the land. Long may it continue.

Steve Clements

DJ YODA

You have to hand it to Playgroup – they sure know how to pull in the crowds. This is the busiest I have seen Concorde 2 in a long time! We were promised a night to remember – ‘one of the most exciting and unique musical collaborations of the year.’ Unique it definitely was, although I would have preferred a bit more DJ Yoda and a bit less Trans-Siberian March Band. The swarms of sweaty ravers all dressed up for Halloween looked to

be having the time of their lives, even if they did smell terrible.

Concorde 2, 28 October JJJJJ Rosie Pearson

JESSIE J

Wow. Jessie J was fierce. She had the swagger, the attitude and the confidence of a true superstar.

Jessie looked all too fine with a seemingly recovered foot after her recent accident, working that stage. The lady put on a superbly

032_033_LS551_reviewsbookings _Reviews 04/11/2011 10:08 Page 3

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 33

L7 Bookings

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

On sale this week…

8

BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB

TOP 10

Brighton Centre, 16 April 2012, £17.50, 0844 847 1515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk Having just finished their sold out, UK album tour with a monumental show at Brixton Academy, Bombay Bicycle Club announce their biggest UK headline tour to date.

1 The Magik Word Break Free 2 BreakinBear Joe Cocker – Never Tear Us Apart Chris Packham

energetic performance, playing her well known hits such as ‘Price Tag’ and ‘Do It Like A Dude’, with some brand new stuff including a catchy song, ‘My Shadow’.

Jessie is funny, smart and clearly very talented with a strong fan base – and for good reason.

If I could give this a 100 out of 100 I definitely would. Damn, girl.

Brighton Centre, 3 November JJJJJ Laura Hayward

BRIGHTON EARLY MUSIC FESTIVAL – AN APPLE FOR MY LOVE – ECLIPSE

In fine bardic manner, Eclipse cast a sweet Celtic spell over the audience with stories and jigs from bygone times. Their accompanying harps, recorders, violas and guitars slipped in and out of the background to deliver sparkling solos and interludes. The old themes of love forlorn, jealously and longing were as potent as ever, brought to life by a clear tenor voice. This relaxed mixture of scholarship, virtuosity and fun gave the evening a very special charm.

St George’s Church, 28 October JJJJJ Andrew Connal

GUILLEMOTS

The Guillemots are a bit of a curio – intelligent, grown up pop for an older audience. Almost from day one, they have perhaps surprisingly became a relative success. Much of that is down to the clever positioning of the band (eg, support slots with Rufus Wainwright), and some sumptuous and grandiose production work on their records, as well as the often excellent songwriting abilities of lead man Fyfe Dangerfield. But tonight’s show, despite the best efforts of the band was mired in a dense sound and hampered by the lack of atmospherics. However, it’s good to see The Old Market back in action for live gigs, and I reckon before long it will be a venue of choice for discerning punters.

The Old Market, 31 October JJJJJ Jeff Hemmings

Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

comment@thelatest.co.uk

THE MISERABLE RICH Green Door Store, 12 November, £8, www.thegreendoorstore.co.uk The Miserable Rich’s third album, Miss You In The Days, was released on Halloween – recorded in Britain’s most haunted stately, home, it is a collection of songs inspired by ghosts, poltergeists and other spooky apparitions. All performed and narrated in their own inimitable, sophisticated ‘Chamber Pop’ style.

HARD-FI Concorde 2, 4 December, £17.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Hard-Fi started creating their social realist indie rock anthems for our audible pleasure back in 2003 and in 2005 we saw the tracks ‘Cash Machine’, ‘Living for the Weekend’ and ‘Hard to Beat’ all get into the top 15 of the UK Singles Chart. Their debut album Stars of CCTV reached Number One in the UK Album Chart.

Rock out to them this Christmas.

Latest Brighton Download Chart

3 The Woo!worths When I Became a Tyger

OMID DJALILI

4 La Lunalight Hear No Evil

Theatre Royal Brighton, 15 February 2012, £26.50, 08448 717 650, www.atgtickets.com Multi Award winning stand-up television and movie star, Omid Djalili is back on tour with his brand new comedy show.

A firm favourite at the Edinburgh Festival with his legendary performances, Omid's stand-up awards include; Time Out Award for Best Stand Up, the EMMA Award and was South Bank Award nominee as well as being a Perrier Award nominee.

5 Nick Conroy Better Days

CHRIS PACKHAM GOES TOTALLY WILD Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 1 February 2012, £15, 01903 206206, www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Compelling and charismatic wildlife TV presenter Chris Packham captivates audiences with his latest exquisite collection of images from the wilderness.

KILIMANJARO PRESENTS LACUNA COIL Concorde 2, 16 November, £15 + booking fee, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Lacuna Coil are probably Italy’s biggest popular musical export since the mid 90s, with their original and awesome take on gothic metal.

Coming to the seaside to shake it up!

Omid Djalili

6 Tenek State Of Mind 7 AliXXia Nothing 8 Red Sea Sharks KiaOra 9 Chaos Borne The Moment 10 North Laine So Slow Down Well, after a few weeks of BreakinBear’s bizarre (but it somehow works, even more oddly) dubstep remix of pop rock stalwart Joe Cocker’s ‘Never Tear Us Apart’ dominating the charts, it’s now the turn of hip-hop act The Magik Word to sit perched at the summit with ‘Break Free’ this week’s new Number One. With BreakinBear nudged down to second place, Brighton-based indie rockers The Woo!worths’ William Blake-referencing ‘When I Became A Tyger’ remains stoic in this week’s bronze medal position. Climbing from six last week to take this week’s fourth place, we have the gritty triphop stylings of La Lunalight’s ‘Hear No Evil’, meanwhile, as atmospheric pop singer-songwriter Nick Conroy takes five with ‘Better Days’.

11 The Wolfgirl Liberation Strange Fruit From Forbidden Trees 12 Nick Conroy Forever 13 Maria McAteer-Her Night At Noon Take The Blame 14 The Wolfgirl Liberation A Bus Ride Home 15 Kris Lamba Riding Girl 16 Jason Smart Ghost Cheese 17 The Mechanic Depressive I Was Lost 18 Stuart Newman 51st State 19 Osaro and RJ Shut Up And Dance 20 lolatwist Lovetaker SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS

www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

034-37_000_LS551_previews_editorial 04/11/2011 13:21 Page 2

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LATEST PREVIEWS STAGE

L7 Previews STAGE: DOLCE VIA Brighton based producers Take The Space return to the Devonshire Park Theatre

A

cclaimed Brighton-based producers Take The Space return to the Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne this autumn with the show Dolce Via as part of the Studio Season on Saturday 12 November, 7.45pm. The show, which closes the week-long season, is a story of love and loss set in the bygone age of the variety circuit.

Freddie Tourrino was blissfully happy with his life on the road as one part of the Great Tourrinos, a variety act who entertained all who saw them, until one night when devastating tragedy struck in the middle of the show. Now Freddie is in the shabby twilight of his career, the years have passed, the memories have faded, but Freddie has an unexpected visit and the Great Tourrinos are strangely reunited. For one night only the variety act will return to entertain, mystify and amaze with one final performance of song, dance and mind reading.

This new play combines ‘mentalist’ tricks, ventriloquism, fire-eating, uni-cycling and stand-up comedy with an emotional disclosure of the hero’s attempts to recover from a devastating tragedy which has marked his life ever since. Inspired by Felinni’s La Strada and recalling the figures of variety of old, including underdog scamps such as Charlie Chaplin and the faded grandeur of the music-hall and those figures who so amazed and entertained in dusty theatres across the land.

This is a magical tale of a life lived between worlds, but Dolce Via is far more than a trip down memory lane. It’s a poignant and compelling story of love, loss and forgiveness, played out by two engaging performers, Chris Barnes and writer Siobhán Nicholas.

Dolce Via, Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne, Sat 12 Nov, 7.45pm, £12.50, box office 01323 412000, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk follow me on twitter

STAGE: LA TRAVIATA & MADAMA BUTTERFLY Popular Ellen Kent Opera company return to the theatre with La Traviata, Verdi's outstanding interpretation of one of the most popular love stories of the 19th century, La Dame aux Camelias.

Highlights include the Brindisi, the best known drinking song in opera, the duet Un Di Felice and Violetta's haunting aria Addio Del Passato.

They are also performing their award winning Madama Butterfly with exquisite sets and fabulous costumes including antique wedding kimonos from Japan.

Highlights include the melodic Humming Chorus, the moving aria

One Fine Day and the unforgettable Love Duet.

Theatre Royal Brighton, La Traviata, Thurs 24 Nov; Madama Butterfly, Fri 25–Sat 26 Nov, 08448 717650, www.atgtickets.com /theatre-royal-brighton

latestandrew

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES KEELER Theatre Royal Brighton Mon 7 to Sat 12 Nov Box office 08448 717 650 www.atgtickets.com /theatre-royal-brighton

SHAKESPEARE SCHOOLS FESTIVAL Tue 8 and Wed 9 Nov Minerva Theatre, Chichester Box office 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk BUDDY: THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY Congress Theatre, Eastbourne Mon 7 to Sat 12 Nov Box office 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk DREAMBOATS & PETTICOATS The Hawth, Crawley Mon 7 to Sat 12 Nov Box office 01293 553636 www.tickets.hawth.co.uk

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034-37_000_LS551_previews_editorial 04/11/2011 13:21 Page 3 Munich

LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 35 CLUBS: TONIGHT WE FLY An evening of epic pop music for doomed romantics, with ‘60s pop, soaring symphonies, bittersweet ballads, dusty Americana, hi-fi literate pop, cinematic sounds and girl-group melodrama. Expect the likes of Tindersticks, Patrick Wolf, Nick Cave, Divine Comedy, Arcade Fire, Bat for Lashes and Dusty Springfield.

The West Hill, Sat 12 Nov, 9pm-3am, free CLUBS: ZOMBIE NATION Pre-dusk cocktails and post-dawn antics with DJ Scott Kirby on a mission to the darker side of paradise. There's plenty of songs to smile, sing and sway to, with sultry beats that accompany the decadent tropical atmosphere.

Half price cocktails until 10pm.

Lola Lo, Sat 12 Nov, 8pm–3.30am, £6/7 before midnight, £10 after

MUSIC: FLIPRON With lyrical inventiveness and surreal imagination right at the very core of their songs and with an unmistakably English sound shamelessly veering between technicolor power-pop, dark, sleazy confessionals and dusty motheaten folk ballads. Led by Jesse Budd, the band have released three

excellent albums, with four due later this year...

Latest Musicbar, Wed 9 Nov, 7.30pm, £6

MUSIC: GILLIAN WELCH A creative reawakening spurs on their new release and tour

T MUSIC: THE MISERABLE RICH Brighton-based chamber pop outfit led by the suavely named James de Malplaquet, whose ghost stories litter the new album Miss You In The Days. Recorded in the apparently haunted Blickling Hall, it's said to be the birthplace of Anne Boleyn, and the place where her headless ghost still haunts...

Green Door Store, Sat 12 Nov, 7.30pm, £8 MUSIC: MOUNTAIN FIREWORK COMPANY Why this lot never broke free and became big news on the alt-country circuit we don’t know, but there is not a finer band in the land. Lead singer and finger-picking guitarist Gareth McGahan's uplifting melancholia floats along a wave of serenity despite the often woeful predicaments detailed in his songs.

It also bob along thanks to some groovy double bass playing, and gorgeous full-bodied male harmonies too. Really, everyone needs to see them even if it’s just once.

The Greys, Mon 14 Nov, 9pm, £10

he most well known of the recent spate of bluegrass/country-blues revivalists, Gillian Welch along with partner David Rawlings are however not purists; their mostly downbeat, melancholy music is distinct, is almost poppy in flavour and this has helped them to cross over to the mainstream while still holding on to their cult status. But things have been quiet on the Welch/Rawlings front since their last record, a long eight years ago... What has she been doing for the past eight years? “Aside from touring and driving ourselves crazy trying to write, we played on some friends’ records; Bright Eyes, The Decemberists, Robyn Hitchcock, Old Crow Medicine Show, and of course we made Dave's first record, A Friend of a Friend. This (The Harrow & The Harvest, released earlier this year) isn’t a greatest hits record from the last eight years. All of the inspiration finally came within the last year, after the creative reawakening that led to Dave’s record. I feel like these were the songs we were waiting for."

Dave Rawlings, the highly skilled and imaginative guitarist and co-writer with Gillian over the years is on top form throughout. “Dave has produced our last four records, and is at least half of the writing team and half of the band, so it's pretty misleading that we're called Gillian Welch. We really should have been The Black Strings or Brass Keys or Bright Stripes or White Straps, but it’s a little late for that now. He might like it this way though, elusive as he is.”

Like countless artists before them they were lured to Nashville to record the album... “We made this record at Woodland Sound Studios, which is a historic studio that we bought in 2001. Nashville is a great place to make a record. I think it's the musical history that's all around the town. It's inspiring. Look at Dylan's records. Look at Neil Young's records. Look at O Brother. When you work in Nashville some part of your artist brain has to confront Hank Williams, Bill Monroe, Elvis even.

And like so many nowadays they strive for a simplicity and warmth that can't be so easily manipulated, "Nothing has ever sounded as beautiful as acoustic instruments on analogue tape. And when you record everything at once, you capture our favourite sound, the sound of the instruments and the voices combining in the air, as opposed to the more common process of combining them electronically or digitally later. We love the sound of acoustic instruments. At this point, we have devoted our lives to that sound.

"I remember when our first album Revival came out, we felt like we were all alone out in the acoustic wilderness. Now I look around, and we are surrounded by comrades- Old Crow, Mumford And Sons, Low Anthem, Fleet Foxes, the list goes on. While it's surprising to look up and find that Dave and myself are the veterans here, I think we staked out some ground that has proved pretty fertile.”

Gillian Welch, Dome Concert Hall, Sat 12 Nov, 7pm, £25, box office 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org/events/Gillian-Welch/4482 follow me on twitter

latestjeff

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034-37_000_LS551_previews_editorial 04/11/2011 13:24 Page 4

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Nik Coppin

LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS

COMEDY: MAE DAY – NOT WAVING, DROWNING Mae's unique blend of stand-up comedy and songs is self-deprecating and relatable, and never meanspirited. In her native Canada she has been nominated for two Canadian Comedy Awards and this year, in the UK, she was a finalist for the UK Musical Comedy Awards.

A-Bar, Thurs 10 Nov, 8pm, free

COMEDY: BILL BAILEY – DANDELION MIND

COMEDY: LEE NELSON LIVE! Star of his own Well Good Show on BBC3 and accompanied by best mate Omelette, the good natured funny guy off the estate brings his own brand of cheeky geezer comedy to the historical beauty of the Theatre Royal Brighton.

Theatre Royal Brighton, Sun 13 Nov, 8pm, £28.75

The maestro of music and mayhem returns to warp sounds, genres, concepts and punchlines

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hether you first stumbled upon Bill Bailey as quiz captain in Never Mind The Buzzcocks or discovered his well-meaning character of Manny charming in Black Books, the true delight of Mr Bailey has always been live on stage combining his musical virtuosity with a mind that embraces the ponder fully.

After a sell-out West End run Bill Bailey is now taking his latest live show Dandelion Mind on a national stadium tour, and the sixth location is in Brighton! After the success of the show when it last visited, this one promises to be ‘gently modified’, but still filled with Bill’s trademark musical interludes, observations and stories of the road. Loosely based upon the theme of doubt, it’s Bailey’s questions that mark him as so much fun-filled curiosity. Following his real-life saga of being trapped by the ash cloud, as well as including rants concerning celebrity, TV, creationism and Michael Winner, the show then moves to demonstrations of new instruments – both ancient and modern, twisted in on themselves and with genres subverted and celebrated in new ways. Have you ever heard some Wurzels-based remixes of classic German techno before? Then you’re in for a treat.

With the DVD and blu-ray already promising to be Christmas present favourites (available now), seize your chance to catch the comical maestro performing in the flesh and decide who you think might benefit from a little bit of a Dandelion Mind generosity this winter.

Bill Bailey – Dandelion Mind, Brighton Centre, Wed 9 Nov, 8pm, £29.50, 0844 8471515, www.brightoncentre.co.uk follow me on twitter

latestvicky

COMEDY: THE NOISE NEXT DOOR’S COMEDY LOCK IN The sell-out smash hit returns, mashing together stand-up, panel shows and after-hours banter. Hosted by those critically acclaimed improvising smooth fellas and with the very special guests of the foulmouthed and wonderfully wicked American songstress Lorretta Maine, plus star of the recent Ikea advert the rubber-faced Paul Pirie.

Komedia, Thurs 10 Nov, 8.30pm, £18.50/£10

best baby products.

Baby-sleep expert Jo Tantum will share her top tips on baby care, whilst the UK's only qualified male antenatal teacher will share insider secrets with visiting dads.

American Express Community Stadium, Sun 13 Nov, 10am–4pm, £3/£2.50 EVENTS: CHEESE AND TEA TASTING Eric Charriaux and Henrietta Lovell from the Rare Tea Company introduce you to the world of Chinese whole leaf tea and fine cheese. Most people think of wine as the perfect companion but this unique session will open your taste buds to a new experience and prove how both tea and cheese really can work together.

La Cave à Fromage, Hove, Weds 9 November, 7.30pm, £20 EVENTS: ROYAL PAVILION ICE RINK Brighton's Royal Pavilion Ice Rink and Restaurant is back with a romantic and beautiful setting, and the former palace as a backdrop.

With room for 250 skaters, childfriendly penguin stabilisers and a learners' area. The 'après ice' features a rustic bar and restaurant with cheese fondue, soup, oysters and roast pig.

Royal Pavilion, Sat 12 Nov, 10am10.15pm daily, £13/10 adults, £8.50/7 children

EVENTS: BABYEXPO BRIGHTON Cbeebies' Phil Gallagher opens the event packed with big brands Mothercare, Gymboree and Early Learning Centre showcasing their

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

tues 8 november

thurs 10 november

sat 12 november

charity chuckle

catalyst club

see website for details

david james, shannon sales, chris pacey, chris boyd, lee hume, sam savage, alex petrovic.

8.00pm £8 / £5

wed 9 november

three guest speakers take to the lectern for 15 mins to debate and entertain on subjects from voodoo to tinned meat!

8pm £5

flipron

fri 11 november

with lyrical inventiveness & surreal imagination, an unmistakably english sound veering between technicolor power-pop, dark, sleazy confessionals and dusty motheaten folk ballads.

7.30pm £6

decorum a candlelit evening of live performances by something of thenight, jabiru and glass sines. combining delicate modern folk with soulful rhythm melodies and a beat driven, electric outfit.

7.15pm £7 / £6 advance from resident records.

sun 13 november

papa le gal + ojo de gringa and josh bevan “one of the hottest live bands in bristol” tom robinson,bbc 6 music.

7pm, £3

mon 14 november

brighton unsigned night featuring: thunk, the grand majestic, half crown & jenna bennett.

7.30pm £3

034-37_000_LS551_previews_editorial 04/11/2011 14:13 Page 5

Brighton Belles

Supported by

LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM ART: ROBOT INVASION! Robots, rockets and ray guns, including rare vintage and collectable items, invade the museum for an exhibition of robots and space toys.

Robot Invasion! takes a new look at these iconic objects, all from the collection of Sussex based artist and illustrator Chris McEwan.

Robot Invasion! Hove Museum & Art Gallery, until Tues 21 Feb 2012, 01273 290900

ART: PAM GLEW Brighton artist Pam Glew has created an installation at Wagamama, and is being shown as part of Art and Eat, a project designed to create a unique showcase for some of the UK’s most exciting emerging artists. Three pieces of Glew’s work will feature including a fine art print titled ‘Window To The World’ and two

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specially commissioned flags.

Glew is best known for her unique bleaching technique on flags, drawing inspiration from terrorism, american culture and horror films.

Pam Glew, Wagamama, Brighton, Until Sun 20 Nov FILM: THE AWAKENING (15) Dir: Nick Murphy It’s post World War England and a certain young lady has made it her business to go around de-bunking the phoney seance and supernatural occurrences that have become so popular of late. Hurrah for common sense! Her latest calling comes from a countryside boarding school, apparently haunted. All ready to be debunked?

Apparently not. Spooky rears it’s disconcerting head. Starring Rebecca Hall, Dominic West and Imelda Staunton.

Released Fri 11 Nov, showing at Odeon and Cineworld For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

FILM: THE RUM DIARY (15) Director: Bruce Robinson

W

hat a collaboration!

Directed and written

by Bruce Robinson – the man who wrote and directed cult favourite Withnail And I – based on the first novel by Hunter S Thompson, and starring Johnny Depp as the story’s protagonist journalist Paul Kemp, this has so many fiery ingredients it’s positively about to explode.

Set in the 1950s, Paul Kemp escapes the claustrophobic conservatism of New York and joins the staff of Puerto Rico’s local paper The San Juan Star. Attempting to find a balance between island culture and ex-pat debauchery, Kemp soon finds that his runsoaked existence has led him to a dangerous infatuation with a shady businessman’s beautiful fiancée.

With a critically and commercially fabulous cast including Johnny Depp – as ever proving there must be a grotesque painting in his attic somewhere to be able to continue to play young roles so believably – along with Aaron Eckhart, Giovanni Ribisi and Amber Heard.

Released Fri 11 Nov Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

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01273 818150 ext 105

038_LS551_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 04/11/2011 09:47 Page 2

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STARS | TV

STARS With Val Aviv

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

Recently you could survive on confidence alone, however now that your go-getting ruler Mars has moved out of extravert Leo and into practical Virgo; planning and organisation will serve your needs better now.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Something’s getting under your skin and while you feel justified in your protests, it may be an error to make too bold a statement or accusation. Because there is yet more to this picture than you can see.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21}

Despite thwarted efforts that undermined your natural buoyancy, on the inside you are quietly confident. Let the lost wonder around outside, you can be un-rattled from grace as within you lies sincere lashings of strength and optimism.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22}

Being imaginative is great, unless someone’s upset you. Then it becomes a monster; which can destroy friendships, as you begin to imagine how malicious they are. The truth is, your feelings tell you about how you feel, nothing more.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22}

You should start to see financial upgrades and recognition, for your persistent efforts will win the favour of those who have influence. Creatively you’re at a high point, so write that book, paint that picture, make that journey or sing that song!

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

You’ve got a really great thing going on right now. You’re going to be driven to action as Mars is pumping through your sign! You can feel rightly empowered as your creativity and ingenuity is reaching a climax.

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

You’re at the heart of a new wave of exciting ideas. You naturally want to make a difference so being bolder and stepping out of your comfort zone could be your best move.

You will adapt into a brave new world with surprising ease, because you’re ready.

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Frustrated friends may seem to nit-pick, you’ve got to be the one who leads the way to co-operative teamwork. Your buttons may be pushed beyond normal limits especially if you’re too attached to your habits.

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

Flared passions give rise to an increased workload. Taking on more can boost your income but also pile on the pressure. Be careful not to over do it and wind up irritable, as this could lead to you snapping at the wrong person.

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Being adventurous can lead to a break through. Sometimes it’s difficult for you to cut loose and surrender to a spontaneously creative force. Currently, it’s a matter of will; that which you resist – persists. Dive in.

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

From the outside, it seems as if everything is fine. Underneath the surface of an apparently idealistic set up there’s something brewing. Change your attitude; there’s nothing a little creative re-invention can’t fix.

HPISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

While others are deemed confronting and critical, it could actually be the other way around. You’re not the only sensitive sign in the zodiac. Friends can help you to transform and grow, although the road may be fraught with an unnecessary amount of conflict.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 88 – 14 NOVEMBER less appetising to the ‘Romantic’ sensibilities of the baying audience.

But what will this year’s winner collect? Apart from a whopping cache of dosh and an interview in Heat the moment their heels hit the tarmac, how With Victoria Nangle many people standing around your water cooler could name a single housemate, let alone pick a favourite to collect the winnings? Are these new people just not who we want to be friends with now? Has the sweetness of big-boned Alison breaking the garden picnic table been sullied with the knowledge of how much that table cost and of his Friday sees the close to the social what better use that money could have been put? experiment that was Big Brother on Five.

Perhaps (whisper it) Big Brother, the celebrator of Hosted by a former Big Brother winner who the talentless but full of self-discovery, has lost went on to become a familiar face on Saturday its sheen in a period when university is no longer morning television, rubbing shoulders with the great freely available and work not all that ready either. and the good that would have been on Top Of The Could larking about on telly be less of an enviable Pops if it was still going, holiday and more of a Brian Dowling has become reminder that unemployed “Reality television has numbers nationally are the ideal for every Big Brother wannabe. It’s either currently at record highs? him or Craig Phillips, the first diversified, regionalised It’s just an idea. ever winner who has gone on and specialised” Alternatively, it could just to be a bit of a daytime telly be that people at home are staple as builder and fixer bored with the same upper extraordinaire. No one goes along to bare formula. There are only so many ways you can their soul, get their bits out and become tabloid lock a group of people up together and control fodder for a day and a half just to be the next their lives. Reality television has diversified, Cameron Stout. You know,the chap who wore the regionalised and specialised. People are stepping wristband asking WWJD? Never mind. up without even the inticement of a debt-ridding The only ex housemates that have emerged with lump sum to get them in front of the cameras. Can any semblance of longevity or credibility were they not see that Brian Dowling, prior to this those who had been on a pretty even keel as recent stint was working the late night slots on ITV themselves all the way through, such as Pete Play hosting The Mint? But then, now he has this Bennett and Kate Lawler. I say ‘themselves’, and plum job, and we all know where Davina McCall as much as everyone claims to be sincere and the delightful Dermot O’Leary have gone post throughout the process, it could just be that those Big Brother. Could Brian be presenting X Factor in who are deemed phoney are simply those whose two years time? You never can tell. true selves are after a bit of fame and fortune.

Big Brother Finale, Five, Friday 11 November, 9pm Just because it’s not all hearts and poetry that follow me on twitter latestvicky doesn’t make it any less true or real, just slightly

Telly Talk

Oh Brother!

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039_LS551_TV_tues_L7wed14apr.qxd 02/11/2011 13:18 Page 1

tuesday 8 My Transsexual Summer Channel 4, 10pm C4’s been promoting this to the nth degree so it will be interesting to see exactly how this four-part documentary about a collection of people making one of the most important identity journeys if their lives unfolds. For five weekends over the summer the group meet to support and guide each other. Supportive.

Imagine: Simon And Garfunkel – The Harmony Game BBC1, 10.35pm Jennifer Lebeau’s film sees Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel talk openly about the making of Bridge Over Troubled Water – a seminal album cloaked in rock’n’roll rumour and hearsay.

Their last disc together, this was a remarkable period.

Hot Like Us BBC3, 8pm Beautiful people going; “Aren’t we beautiful?” and “don’t you want a relationship like ours?” does beg the question, who are they trying to impress? This competition pits model couple against model couple trying to prove they are not only the prettiest but also have the best relationship. Laugh at them. Loud.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Remembrance Week 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.10 Land Girls 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Junior Bake Off 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be here.

7.30 EastEnders Ben’s heartbreak rapidly transforms into fury when Christian gently rejects his advances playing straight into the hands of a scheming Yusef.

8.00 Holby City When results reveal a life-threatening heart condition for baby Freya, Jac pulls out all the stops to try and save her life. Oliver makes a big decision about his future after a day on Orthopaedics.

9.00 Death In Paradise Detective drama series. When a woman not only predicts her own murder but also gives a description of the murderer, it all feels too easy for DI Richard Poole. Can a case from the past help solve the present day murder?

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine: Simon And Garfunkel - The Harmony Game See highlights.

11.50 FILM: The Name Of The Rose (1986) Starring Sean Connery, F Murray Abraham, Christian Slater.

Gripping, atmospheric adaptation of Umberto Eco’s classic novel set in the Middle Ages.Whodunnit with monks.

1.55am Weatherview 2.00 Sign Zone: Andrew Marr’s Megacities 3.00 History Cold Case 4.00 Nigel Slater’s Simple Cooking 4.30 BBC News

6.00 – 9.15am Children’s television 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 ZingZillas 10.05 Big Barn Farm 10.25 Louie 10.30 Baby Jake 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The All New Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Diagnosis Murder 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip with Zoe Ball.

7.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Double Michelinstarred chef Michel Roux Jr and MasterChef dining expert Gregg Wallace are joined by Michel’s sous chef Monica Galetti, as they hunt for Britain’s next culinary superstar.

8.00 James May’s Man Lab James takes to the catwalk to liberate men from the tyranny of fashion and promote the one item of clothing they’ll ever need – a cunningly modified boiler suit.

9.00 Dam Busters: The Race To Smash The German Dams James Holland presents a fresh analysis of the legendary 1943 Dam Busters raid.

10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Joining Jools in the studio is a true rock and roll double act: rock legend Metallica have joined forces with Velvet Underground member and musical icon Lou Reed after performing together at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Whoa! Plus many more top musos.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Choir: Military Wives Choirmaster Gareth Malone believes singing can help people throught the most difficult times of their lives.

12.20am Damages 1.00 BBC News 4.00 History File: Britain 1750-1900

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Undercover Boss USA 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.10 FILM: Guns At Batasi (1964) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Bart warns Sinead off Gaz. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 The Food Hospital Health series examining the science behind using food as medicine. The doctors meet Karen and her six-year-old son, Callum, whose lives are both blighted by psoriasis. Singer Sophie suffers from such severe acid reflux that could spell the end of her career.

9.00 Jamie’s Great Britain Jamie travels over the Severn Bridge to South Wales, where he learns the impact of the Welsh coal boom of the late nineteenth century on the nation’s food culture.

10.00 My Transsexual Summer See highlights.

11.05 Rory Peck Awards 2011 11.10 True Blood The Vampire Rights Amendment is close to being ratified, so Eric is confronted when the Magister goes missing.

12.25am PokerStars.co.uk UK And Ireland Poker Tour 1.25 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 1.50 FIVB World Beach Volleyball Tour 2.45 KOTV Boxing Weekly 3.10 Formula Ford Festival 2011 3.35 Dunlop MSA Formula Ford Championship Of Great Britain 4.00 British Gas Great Scottish Swim 4.55 Postmodern Pastimes 5.10 Paralympic Wheelchair

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.30 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.10 Chinese Food In Minutes 3.15 FILM: Thicker Than Water (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Suspended, pending the investigation into Hammer’s death, Charlie decides to leave Summer Bay until things cool down. The police discover evidence linking Brax to the fire at Jake’s.

6.25 OK! TV Jeff Brazier and Jenny Frost present a lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features from the worlds of fame.

7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Lost Heroes Of World War I Documentary series. Filmed over almost two decades, the individual stories of the last veterans and survivors of WWI are replayed.

8.00 London: The Inside Story Fly-on-the-wall documentary series. With exclusive front-line access to the inner workings of Westminster Council.

9.00 CSI: Miami The team venture deep into the Everglades where a sick game has hunters tracking human prey.

10.00 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from the house.

11.00 FILM: Edison (2005) Starring Justin Timberlake, Kevin Spacey.

Crime thriller in which a naive journalist tries to expose corruption within the police force.

12.50am Inside Hollywood 1.00 SuperCasino 4.05 Chinese Food In Minutes 4.10 New The Hotel Inspector 4.55 Rough Guide To Beaches 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 Scottish Premier League 2.00 Barclays Premier League Review 3.00 Test Cricket 5.00 SPL Round-Up 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am Football’s Greatest 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Revista De La Liga 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jai decides that it is time he stood up to Declan.

7.30 The Unforgettable Norman Wisdom A look at the career of one of Britain’s best-loved comedians who, at the height of his career, was one of the country’s biggest stars of stage and screen.

8.00 High Stakes Game show in which contestants try to win money by successfully navigating the High Stakes grid.

9.00 The Jury Second in the new five-part drama series. Mallory calls his witnesses and the evidence against Lane is examined and argued

by Watts. The jurors’ messy lives unfold and the mysterious woman tells Paul that she was a member of the first jury that tried Lane.

Differences between ‘mysterious’ and ‘batty’ women on a postcard please.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Babies Behind Bars Concluding part of the documentary following a group of pregnant inmates at Indiana Women’s Prison, which runs a pioneering baby wing.?

11.35 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey In the final part of the series, Joanna visits the mountains of northern Greece, which reverberate with ancient stories and legends.

12.30am The Zone 3.05 Kojak 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Golf: HSBC Champions 10.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 10.00pm Golfing World 11.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 12.00am Test Cricket 2.00 World Cup Bowls 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Extreme 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Scottish Premier League Football 10.30 Barclays Premier League Review 11.30 Netbusters 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All - International Tries 12.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 2.00 World Cup Bowls 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 FIA F2 Championship 7.00 Cycling Sports World 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 11.00 Sports Unlimited 12.00am European Challenge Tour Golf 1.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 2.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 3.00 European Challenge Tour Golf 4.00 Close Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Glee 9.00 Inside Gatwick 10.00 FILM: Patriot Games (1992) 12.20am 35mm 12.50 Road Wars 1.50 UK Border Force 2.45 Mental (x2) 4.20 Paul McKenna: I Can Change Your Life

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Hot Like Us. See highlights.

9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Him & Her 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Don’t Tell The Bride 1.30 Him & Her 2.00 Hot Like Us 3.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 4.00 The Growing Pains Of A Teenage Genius

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Return To Pembrokeshire Farm 8.00 The Golden Age Of Canals 9.00 Murder On The Lake 10.30 The Sculptress 12.05am Songs Of America 1969 1.00 The Golden Age Of Canals 2.00 Return To Pembrokeshire Farm 2.30 Murder On The Lake 5.30 Close

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of New York City 4.35 Loose Women 5.30 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 7.00 The X Factor Results 8.00 Peter Andre: My Life 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 Models, Misfits & Mayhem 11.00 Celebrity Juice: Pop Special 11.45 FILM: Batman Forever (1995) 2.05am Emmerdale

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Pie In The Sky 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.50 Wycliffe (x2) 10.00 Appropriate Adult 11.35 Numb3rs 12.30am Wycliffe 1.25 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 2.20 Film File

2.35pm Gilmore Girls 3.35 Desperate Housewives 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Shipwrecked: The Island 9.00 Sorority Girls 10.00 Tool Academy 11.05 Rude Tube: Viral Ads 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x5) 10.00 True Stories: The Flaw 11.50 Come Dine With Me 12.50am True Stories: The Flaw 2.40 Relocation, Relocation 3.35 Close

11.00am The Spy In Black (1939) 12.40pm Pony Express (1953) 2.40 Saboteur (1942) 4.50 Please Sir! (1971) 6.50 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 Sex And The City (2008) 11.45 The Manchurian Candidate (2004) 2.10am The Woodsman (2004) 3.55 Close

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www.thelatest.tv If you want to join us to make a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest Musicbar. 5.30pm Mondays

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040_LS551_TV_wed_L7wed14apr.qxd 02/11/2011 13:21 Page 1

wednesday 9 Frozen Planet BBC1, 9pm This is stunning photography.

Looking at the frozen third of the planet in high summer, the sun never sets and all of life’s dramas must take place in a single day, from a polar bear cub’s first swimming lesson to a herd of musk oxen charging to the rescue of a calf caught by some Arctic wolves. So very pretty.

Fresh Meat Channel 4, 10pm Right, so Mrs Professor Shales is getting a bit suss about her husband’s activities – in fact she downright reckons he’s having an affair. With Vod. Should’ve looked at Oregon. Josie’s fiancé Dave is moving into the house in increments, much to the annoyance of Kingsley, and JP’s in denial about his dad’s death.

Gossip Girl ITV2, 8pm So it looks like Dan’s book is going to get published despite his best efforts so he decides to tell all of his friends and family about what’s in it in the hope that they’ll support him through the book launch. Nice idea. Shame then that when Louis reads it a crisis arises between him and Blaire.

Do not threaten the princess!

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Remembrance Week 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.10 Land Girls 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Junior Bake Off 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 ROY 4.30 Serious Explorers: Raleigh 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be here.

7.30 Waterloo Road School-based drama. Radio fever hits Waterloo Road when local DJ Viv O’Donnell broadcasts live from the school but her daughter, year 11 pupil Andi, struggles with her celebrity status.

8.30 The Impressions Show Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson with parenting tips from Elton John, Michael McIntyre has lost his most treasured possession and Ross Kemp returns to meet the gang known on the street as the ‘Towies’.

9.00 Frozen Planet See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10.45 Ask Rhod Gilbert Janet Street-Porter, Laurence LlewelynBowen and Andrew Lawrence join Rhod, Greg Davies and Lloyd Langford in the comedic search for answers.

11.20 Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman Film news, reviews and interviews with Claudia Winkleman and Danny Leigh.

12.00am FILM: The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) 1.55 Weatherview 2.00 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.30 Planet Dinosaur 3.00 Country Tracks 3.55 James May’s Things You Need To Know...4.25News

6.00 – 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 Dirtgirlworld 9.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 ZingZillas 10.05 Big Barn Farm 10.20 Louie 10.25 Baby Jake 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 The Hairy Bikers 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip with Zoe Ball.

7.00 Great British Food Revival Cookery series where chefs and foodies champion British produce.

Today – plums! No, really.

8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Five of the original ten chefs return to face Monica and Gregg in a skills test before the judges must decide who will be eliminated.

9.00 Peter Jones: How We Made Our Millions Dragons’ Den star Peter Jones meets two of the country’s most well known and successful entrepreneurs to get into the DNA of what made them millionaires.

10.00 Rab C Nesbitt The new minister at Rab’s church arrives with two serious drawbacks for a Govan minister - she is female and English.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 John Sergeant Meets Rab C Nesbitt How does a worldwide recession affect a waster, a workshy scrounger, a freeloading sponger like Rab C Nesbitt? In a hard-hitting, faceto-face interview, John Sergeant travels to Govan to interrogate the man behind the string vest.

12.05am Rab C Nesbitt 12.35 James May’s Man Lab 1.35 BBC News 4.00 History File: Nazi Germany

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Undercover Boss USA 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.20 BT And Channel 4 Present...

1.25 FILM: Carry On Behind (1975) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sinead gets Gaz a job but they want to hire her too.

Good luck with that dumping, Gaz. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain Series in which Kirstie Allsopp travels Britain, visiting some of the finest county and agricultural fairs and entering some of the toughest craft competitions going. Kirstie tries to perfect the art of flower arranging at the Royal Cornwall Show.

9.00 Grand Designs Property series.

Kevin McCloud returns to the Kent countryside to see how architect Richard Hawkes and his wife Sophie are faring in their sustainable archshaped home, and whether the house is generating all its own electricity.

10.00 Fresh Meat See highlights.

10.55 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Dermot O’Leary, David Walliams, Westlife and Mary J Blige join Alan in the studio, while The Saturdays perform their single.

11.55 Rory Peck Awards 2011 12.00am MUSIC ON 4: Florence + The Machine Live 12.35 On Track With Seat 1.05 The Album Chart Show Introduces... 1.15 4Play: Bon Iver 1.30 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 1.45 FILM: Waterloo Road (1944) 3.00 Building Britain’s Ultimate Warship 4.30 Scrapheap Challenge 5.25 Countdown

6.00 – 6.35am Children’s television 6.35 Elmo’s World 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Little Princess 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.30 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.05 FILM: Separated By Murder (1994) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away After a search of Brax’s house, the police finger Casey as their prime suspect.

6.25 OK! TV Jeff Brazier and Jenny Frost present a lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features.

7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Lost Heroes Of World War I Documentary series. Replayed through interviews, archive and dramatic reconstructions, bringing to life what it was like to live through 1914-18.

8.00 Dangerous Drivers’ School Documentary series following three driving instructors as they attempt to teach the rules of the road to novice drivers.

9.00 Paul Merton’s Adventures Paul remains in Blighty, revisiting some holiday destinations of his youth and some other quirky spots as he joins one of the largest clubs of people in the country - caravanners.

10.00 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from inside the Big Brother house.

11.00 Banged Up Abroad The story of two journalists, Scott Taylor and Zeynep Tugrul, kidnapped by insurgents in Iraq in September 2004.

12.00am Five VOD Pokerstars: The Big Game 12.55 SuperCasino 4.05 Chinese Food In Minutes 4.10 The Gadget Show 4.55 Rough Guide To Cities 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 3.30pm Revista De La Liga 4.30 Barclays Premier League Review 5.30 Hyundai A League 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.25 LIVE Irish League Football 9.30 LIVE Fight Night 11.30 Test Cricket 12.25am Irish League Football 2.30 Hyundai A League 3.00 Test Cricket 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Will Moira be caught red-handed with Cain? Katie is stunned to learn Declan’s news.

7.30 New You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill showcases more of the funniest footage filmed by viewers on their camcorders and mobile phones.

8.00 Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?: Remembrance Special Chris Tarrant presents a special Remembrance edition of the game show. Active service members of the Royal Navy, Army and Royal Air Force pair up with some of the UK’s top celebrities to try to win money for each of the Forces’ Benevolent Funds.

9.00 The Jury Third in a new fivepart drama series. Watts crossexamines Commander Howson, the man in charge of the investigation into Lane. Tahir tells Jeffrey about his experience in Sudan, while Paul and Tasha grow closer over lunch.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Cops With Cameras More life on the front line with police forces across the UK. 11.35 Ladette To Lady Three girls have survived to the final week, but only one can win and remain in England. Playing for a visa?!!!

12.30am The Zone 2.35 FILM: The Baby And The Battleship (1956) 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 10.00pm Test Cricket 11.00 Champions Tour Golf 12.00am FIA GT World Championships 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Fight Night 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Extreme 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Golfing World 9.00 European Challenge Tour Golf 10.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 3.30 Cycling Sports World 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 UK Angling Championships 6.30 Inside The PGA Tour 7.00 Champions Tour Golf 8.00 Test Cricket (x2) 10.00 Cage Fighter 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Cage Fighter 12.00am Inside The PGA Tour 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 Champions Tour Golf 2.00 NFL - Total Access 3.00 Total Rugby 3.30 Trans World Sport 4.30 European Tour Weekly 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open

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12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Middle 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Trollied (x2) 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Chris Ryan’s Strike Back (x2) 1.00am Brit Cops: Law And Disorder 1.50 UK Border Force

7.00pm Hotter Than My Daughter 7.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Hot Like Us 10.00 FILM: Bruce Almighty (2003) 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Hot Like Us 1.20 The World’s Strictest Parents 2.20 Hotter Than My Daughter 2.45 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Johnny Kingdom’s Year With The Birds 8.00 Tales From The National Parks 9.00 The Thin Blue Line: Storyville 10.35 Outside The Court 11.35 A303: Highway To The Sun 12.35am Johnny Kingdom’s Year With The Birds 1.05 Tales From The National Parks 2.05 The Thin Blue Line: Storyville

6.30pm Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 Grimefighters 8.00 Gossip Girl. See highlights. 9.00 Peter Andre: My Life 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 11.00 Ghosthunting With The Only Way Is Essex 12.35am New You’ve Been Framed! 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Vampire Diaries

12.00pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 The Nation’s Favourite ABBA Song 10.35 Wycliffe 12.10am Inspector Morse

1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.35 Desperate Housewives 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: Iron Man (2008) 10.20 Rude Tube 11.25 Misfits 12.30am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.25 Scrubs (x2)

3.35pm Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x4) 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Time Team Special 11.05 Camelot 12.10am Time Team (x2) 2.20 Camelot 3.15 Relocation, Relocation 4.10 Close

11.00am One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 1.00pm The Gentle Sex (1943) 2.45 All That Heaven Allows (1955) 4.30 Zulu (1964) 7.15 How She Move (2007) 9.00 Mr & Mrs Smith (2005) 11.20 Garden State (2004) 1.15am The Namesake (2006) 3.40 Close

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Brighton Lights 32

www.thelatest.tv

Award-winning compere, heart of Krater Comedy and Brightonian Stephen Grant tells us all about his show for the Brighton Comedy Festival

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041_LS551_TV_thurs_L7wed14apr.qxd 02/11/2011 13:23 Page 1

thursday 10 Rev BBC2, 9pm A new series of the hit comedy starring Tom Hollander as the inner city vicar struggling with a demanding parish and a disappointed wife. That is until he accidentally thwarts a mugging!

Super-vicar to the rescue! Bit of basking time, and surly a little bit of embellishing never hurt a story? Right? Hmm.

Life’s Too Short BBC2, 9.30pm It’s a positive new comedy roll on BBC2 tonight, with the launch of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s much anticipated new series starring Warwick Davies in centre stage. With a huge tax bill, a divorce and his career in the pits, Warwick opens his doors to a film crew, and asks Ricky and Stephen for advice.

The Slap BBC4, 10pm It’s the turn of the perpetrator of ‘the slap’ to step up and take the narration of this Australian drama. Harry could lose everything – his business, his family and his friends. The pressure’s getting to him and all the time more violent thoughts are entering his head. Will he act upon them? Wouldn’t look good.

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ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Remembrance Week 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.10 Land Girls 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Junior Bake Off 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Copycats 4.30 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 9.15am Children’s television 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 ZingZillas 10.05 Big Barn Farm 10.25 Louie 10.30 Baby Jake 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The All New Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Diagnosis Murder 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, training action and exclusive news from Strictly Come Dancing, with Zoe Ball.

7.00 Great British Food Revival Mary Berry demonstrates a passion for fresh herbs and looks at how easy they are to grow, use and store.

8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals Double Michelinstarred chef Michel Roux Jr and MasterChef dining expert Gregg Wallace hunt for Britain’s next culinary superstar. It is the first of the quarter finals.

9.00 Rev. See highlights.

9.30 Life’s Too Short See highlights.

10.00 Frank Skinner’s Opinionated Each week Frank is joined by two fellow comedians and a studio audience to unpick the week’s most talked-about news stories. This time Dave Gorman is amongst the guests joining him.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis.

11.20 Burnistoun Sketch show set in a fictional Scottish location.

11.50 WOMEN! French comedy sketch show with an all-female cast, written by the stars of the show.

12.25am Damages 1.25 BBC News

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Undercover Boss USA 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.30 BT And Channel 4 Present...

1.35 FILM: The Black Swan (1942) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.30 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Meerkat Manor 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: The Blue Butterfly (2004) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away April, Dex and Xavier chain themselves to the school gates, but will it be enough to halt the scheduled demolition?

6.25 OK! TV Jeff Brazier and Jenny Frost present a lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features.

7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Lost Heroes Of World War I Documentary series. Harry Patch (the last surviving veteran of WWI) and Henry Allingham (who lived to 113) reveal what life was like for those fighting in appalling conditions on the ground and in the air at Arras and Passchendaele (Ypres).

8.00 Bomber Boys: Revealed Documentary series exploring historical events.

9.00 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from inside the Big Brother house.

10.00 The Mentalist Crime drama.

Jane holds a smoking gun, having shot dead the man he believes to be his nemesis, the serial killer Red John.

11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate, with special guests, exclusive footage and behind the scenes treats.

12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Chinese Food In Minutes 4.05 HouseBusters (x2) 4.55 Rough Guide To Eco Escapes 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 3.30pm Total Rugby 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 NFL – Total Access 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Ringside 7.00 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 Ringside 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 1.00 LIVE NFL 4.30 Ringside 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show.

7.30 EastEnders A raging Phil hunts down Christian as Ben’s falsehood sets in motion a devastating trail of events for all concerned.

8.00 Motorway Cops The motorway cops attempt to crack down on truckers who fail to pay attention to the road ahead.

9.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Children In Need Special Nick Knowles and the DIY SOS team take on their biggest ever build for a spectacular event in aid of Children in Need. The team travels to Liverpool to completely refurbish Norris Green Youth Centre.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Question Time is in Newcastle for a topical discussion with our panel and invited audience. Chaired by David Dimbleby.

11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, with Mr Portillo and guests.

12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: What’s Fuelling Your Energy Bill – Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.55 Antiques Roadshow 2.55 James May’s Things You Need To Know... 3.25 Home Cooking Made Easy 3.55 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Moira attempts to end things with Cain.

7.30 Life After The Riots: Tonight The riots this summer left some families homeless and damaged many businesses. Three months on, Julie Etchingham returns to some of the riot-torn areas to see whether restoration promises have been kept.

8.00 Emmerdale Moira is devastated when John learns her secret.

8.30 Coronation Street Cheryl is forced to make a decision - but who will she choose?

9.00 The Jury Fourth in a new fivepart drama series. Lane takes the stand. Jeffrey waits anxiously as Tahir finds out about his US visa.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Rolf Harris Piers talks to legend Rolf Harris in an intimate interview which lifts the lid on Rolf’s life and tells how he has kept generations of viewers enthralled.

11.35 The Choir That Rocks Caroline Redman-Lusher is taking on her greatest challenge ever - to get all 8000 members of the choir to sing together at Wembley Arena.

12.30am The Zone 2.35 Life After The Riots: Tonight 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sinead tells the sixth-formers that she is leaving as she and Gaz are working at a gig, then going on tour.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare Sarah and Graham’s dispute with their local council continues. In spite of their worries, they decide to tackle three bathrooms with three very different challenges.

9.00 Brunel’s Last Launch: A Time Team Special Tony Robinson and the team are in the East End of London, once home to the most advanced shipbuilding industry - and best workers and shipyards - in the world. Cue Elvis Costelllo.

10.00 The Joy Of Teen Sex Series exploring the sex lives of today’s teenagers.

11.05 Rory Peck Awards 2011 11.10 The Secret Millionaire Hairdresser Lee Stafford is on the hunt for people and organisations who need his help in Salford.

12.10am The Vue Film Show 12.40 MUSIC ON 4: Professor Green Unseen 1.10 Inside SBTV: From Bedroom To Boardroom 1.35 4Play: Birdy 1.50 Maverick Sabre 2.00 he Crush With KFC Krushems 2.55 Accidentally On Purpose 3.20 Southland 4.05 St Elsewhere 4.55 Unreported World 5.20 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 10.00pm ATP Tour Uncovered 10.30 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Test Cricket (x2) 2.00 Ringside 3.00 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 3.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 4.00 Racemax 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open

Sky Sports 3 9.55am Irish League Football 12.00pm Total Rugby 12.30 Kings Of The Extreme 1.00 European Tour Golf 6.00 Kings Of The Extreme 6.30 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE Premier League Snooker 11.00 WWE Late Night Raw 1.00am WWE NXT 2.00 Premier League Snooker 5.30 Close

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12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Futurama (x2) 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Glee 10.00 House 11.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 Border Invasion USA

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 American Dad! (x2) 12.35am The World’s Strictest Parents 1.35 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.05 Don’t Tell The Bride

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 The End Of God?: A Horizon Guide To Science And Religion 9.00 Symphony 10.00 The Slap. See higlhights.

10.55 I Sold My Cadillac To Diana Dors: The Edmundo Ros Story 11.45 Symphony 12.45am Wallander 2.10 The Sky At Night

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of New York City 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 8.00 The X Factor USA: Performance Show 10.00 Celebrity Juice: I’m A Celebrity Special 10.45 FILM: Batman And Robin (1997) 1.15am Coronation Street 1.40 Emmerdale

12.00pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Wycliffe 9.00 Martin Clunes: Man To Manta 10.00 Law & Order: UK (x2) 12.05am Numb3rs (x2)

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks: A Little Film About Love By Jason Costello 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 Happy Endings 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 Phoneshop 10.30 Facejacker 11.05 Dirty Digest 11.55 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.50am Scrubs (x2)

1.35pm The Good Wife 2.35 Come Dine With Me 3.05 Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x4) 9.00 Southland 10.00 The Closer 11.00 The Killing 12.00am Southland 12.55 The Closer

11.00am Alamar (2009) 12.25pm American Guerilla In The Philippines (1950) 2.25 Drums Along The Mohawk (1939) 4.30 Operation Crossbow (1965) 6.45 Take The Lead (2006) 9.00 Saving Private Ryan (1998) 12.15am After The Sunset (2004) 2.05 Lights In The Dusk (2006) 3.45 Close

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www.thelatest.tv Brighton’s full of amazing properties and this might just be the best one we’ve come across. Check it out on Brighton Lights

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042_LS551_TV_fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 02/11/2011 13:24 Page 1

friday 11 Big Brother: Live Final Five, 9pm It’s the moment weeks of tasks, fighting and truces have been waiting for. Will the best person win? Or the most telephotogenic?

Brian Dowling is waiting on the outside to announce all and grab the winner blinking and squinting into the spotlight and tabloid spreads that await. Now, to put that sofa on eBay...

Stand Up For The Week Channel 5, 11.10pm Missed the week’s news? Find watching news programmes a bit too dry but still want to know what’s going on? Then why not try Stand Up For The Week!

Weekly satire brought straight to your telly incorporating the wit of Jon Richardson, Rich Hall, Sean Walsh, Josh Widdicombe, Sara Pascoe and Paul Chowdhry.

Top Gear USA BBC3, 7pm The title pretty much says it all... but might Top Gear be of a similar ilk to the old British pub? Could it simply be coveted by the Yanks but it’s the dirt and the bad manners that make it? Will they santise Clarkson’s behaviour?

Only way to find out is to watch.

US presenters choose their favourite GM cars to test.

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Remembrance Week 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.10 Land Girls 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Junior Bake Off 3.40 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Stuck On Sheep Mountain 4.30 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 9.15am Children’s television 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 ZingZillas 10.05 Big Barn Farm 10.20 Louie 10.25 Baby Jake 10.40 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The All New Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Backstage gossip with Zoe Ball.

7.00 Art For Heroes: A Culture Show Special Examining the role of art therapy in the rehabilitation of exservicemen suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder.

8.00 Children In Need Mastermind Special 2011 Russell Kane, Jarred Christmas, Karen Taylor and Imran Yusuf answer questions from John Humphrys on their specialist subjects and general knowledge.

8.30 Autumnwatch Live Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Martin Hughes-Games broadcast live from the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust’s Slimbridge reserve.

9.30 Autumnwatch Unsprung Autumnwatch Unsprung has more light-hearted post-show analysis.

10.00 QI Stephen Fry asks some questions about things that start with I, with Sandi Toksvig, Al Murray, Dara O Briain and Alan Davies.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 The Review Show Clemency Burton-Hill and guests review the National Gallery’s major exhibition of work by Leonardo da Vinci.

11.50 Later... With Jools Holland Repeat of Tuesday’s show.

12.55am Triangle 2.20 Art For Heroes: A Culture Show Special 3.20 BBC News

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Undercover Boss USA 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.00 Channel 4 Racing From Cheltenham 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks As Bart struggles to get into the gig to find Sinead, Tilly urges Maddie to stop Sinead making the mistake of her life.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World Aidan Hartley and Richard Cookson travel to Gaza to meet members of the Palestinian Paralympic team hoping to qualify for London 2012.

7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Come Dine With Me Dinner party reality show.

9.00 Derren Brown: The Secret Of Luck Derren investigates what makes some people lucky and others attract only misfortune. The episode takes the form of a documentary fronted by Dawn Porter, who acts as Derren’s secret agent, and the subject of the experiment is an entire town.

10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats The topical panel show presented by Jimmy Carr.

10.35 Pete Versus Life Comedy drama about sports journalist Pete.

11.10 Stand Up For The Week See highlights.

12.00am FILM: Unmade Beds (2009) 1.45 BT And Channel 4 Present... Jonnie Peacock ‘Hit The Ground Running’ 1.50 MUSIC ON 4: Music On 4 Favourites: The Kooks 2.15 On Track With Seat 2.40 4Play: Oh Land 2.55 Fuel 3.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 3.45 Without A Trace 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.20 Countdown

6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Little Princess 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.30 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Meerkat Manor 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: The Maldonado Miracle (2003) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Following a meeting with Bernard Steiner, the School Board head, Gina wonders why he is so keen to have the school demolished.

6.25 OK! TV Brian Dowling is in the studio ahead of tonight’s Big Brother final. Who will be the winner?

7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Lost Heroes Of World War I Documentary series. Filmed over almost two decades, the individual stories of the last veterans and survivors of World War I are replayed.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads Documentary series. Rick gets some bad news from home, Lisa comes across two nasty accidents, and Dave is involved in an altercation with an irate bus driver.

9.00 Big Brother: Live Final See highlights.

10.30 Tamara Ecclestone: Billion $$ Girl Documentary series following the life of Tamara Ecclestone. Tamara has to organise a charity ball, take part in a photo shoot for a magazine, and try to connect with her Chihuahua, Prince. Hard life.

11.30 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate.

12.15am SuperCasino 4.00 Motorsport Mundial 4.30 Great Scientists 4.55 Rough Guide To Weekend Breaks 5.10 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 Barclays Premier League World 8.30 LIVE Test Cricket 3.30pm Barclays Premier League World 4.00 Ringside 5.00 Trans World Sport 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 Take It Like A Fan 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE International Football 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Barclays Premier League World 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am International Football 2.30 Take It Like A Fan 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Cooking Newcomers to black pudding will be tempted by Nigel’s alternative sausage roll. Yum! 8.00 EastEnders Zainab is left terrified when Yusef reveals his true colours in a shocking showdown.

8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted sports quiz with team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell.

9.00 Have I Got News For You Popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, a guest host and guest panellists Roisin Conaty and Andy Hamilton.

9.30 Live At The Apollo With Sean Lock as host. Special guests are Ed Byrne and the well good Lee Nelson.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today T 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Joining Graham are Sir Cliff Richard; Lord Alan Sugar; Micky Flanagan; and X Factor judge Kelly Rowland.

11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.30 FILM: Deep Impact (1997) Starring Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman, Robert Duvall. Sci-fi blockbuster.

1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Question Time 2.25 Hairy Bikers’ Meals On Wheels 3.25 Home Cooking Made Easy 3.55 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley keeps a suspicious eye on Laurel. Moira is heartbroken as John cannot bear to be around her.

7.30 Coronation Street Chris delivers a devastating blow to Lloyd.

Chesney is caught red-handed.

8.00 Wild Britain With Ray Mears Ray heads to North Uist in the Outer Hebrides to explore Loch Maddy, the island’s largest sea loch.

8.30 Coronation Street The pressure becomes too much for Katy and Chesney, and Julie defends Brian in the face of ridicule.

9.00 The Jury Final part of the drama series. Paul has told the jury what he knows and they struggle to reach a majority. As they deliberate, Lane and Watts wait anxiously for the verdict.

Rashid gives Paul information that makes him question everything. And the jury deliver their verdict. *Gulp!* 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Falling Down (1993) Starring Michael Douglas, Robert Duvall, Barbara Hershey. Intense drama about a middle-aged man who reaches breaking point while gridlocked in Los Angeles traffic on a sweltering day.

12.40am The Zone 2.45 FILM: The Whole Ten Yards (2004) 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 10.00am Ringside 11.00 Racing News 11.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Road To London 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 NFL 12.00am European Rugby 2.30 Road To London 3.00 H2O World Aquabike Championship 3.30 International Football 5.00 Take It Like A Fan 5.30 Road To London

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Extreme 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 9.30 Premier League Snooker 1.00pm European Tour Golf 6.00 H2O World Aquabike Championship 6.30 LIVE ATP Tennis 10.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 Test Cricket 3.30 Elite League Ice Hockey 4.30 Tight Lines 5.30 Kings Of The Extreme Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x20) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x4) 8.30 Spy 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 10.00 A League Of Their Own 11.00 Trollied (x2) 12.00am Brit Cops: Law And Disorder 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 Border Invasion USA

7.00pm Top Gear USA. See highlights. 7.45 Merlin 8.30 World’s Craziest Fools 9.00 Him & Her 9.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Top Gear USA 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.05am Mongrels (x2) 1.05 World’s Craziest Fools 1.35 The Real Hustle: New Recruits 2.05 Hot Like Us 3.05 Him & Her

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Chopin Prelude In F# Major 7.40 Proms On Four 2004 9.00 Pearl Jam Twenty 11.00 The Late Show 11.45 Seven Ages Of Rock 12.45am Proms On Four 2004 2.05 Pearl Jam Twenty 5.30 Close

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of New York City 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Cube 8.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 9.00 The X Factor USA: Results 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 11.45 New You’ve Been Framed! 12.15am FILM: Lady In The Water (2006)

12.05pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.10 Heartbeat 2.10 Pie In The Sky 3.20 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman (x2) 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 David Jason’s Greatest Escapes 10.30 A Touch Of Frost 12.35am FILM: Psycho (1960) 2.30 Numb3rs 3.10 ITV3 Nightscreen

2.05pm Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.35 Desperate Housewives 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Made In Chelsea 9.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 10.00 50 Greatest Plastic Surgery Shockers 12.10am The Big Bang Theory

2.35pm Come Dine With Me 3.05 Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 River Cottage 9.00 FILM: Heat (1995) 12.15am Heroes Of Comedy (x2) 2.25 Come Dine With Me 3.30 Heroes Of Comedy

11.00am Jesse James (1939) 1.05pm The Fighting Seabees (1944) 3.05 Carry On Abroad (1972) 4.50 Ladies In Lavender (2004) 6.50 Secondhand Lions (2003) 9.00 Australia (2008) 12.10am The Machinist (2004) 2.05 Beneath The Planet Of The Apes (1970) 4.00 Close

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Example, Razorlight and Ed Sheeran, all exclusively on Brighton Lights in our Shakedown Festival special

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043_LS551_TV_sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 03/11/2011 15:19 Page 1

saturday 12 Come Fly With Me (The Story Of Pan Am) BBC2, 8pm A fabulous documentary telling the story of how Pan Am World Airways kickstarted the jet age and encouraged world travel.

Featuring real ‘Pam Am girls’, remembering the glam days of celebs, romance and girdles, as well as the stars of the Jet Age and their take on things.

George Harrison: Living In The Material World BBC2, 9.45pm The UK TV premiere of Martin Scorsese’s portrait of the late Beatle. Part one looks at his early years, from Hamburg to the start of Beatlemania, featuring exclusive interviews with friends and family mixed with archive footage to form a comprehensive and fascinating impression.

Film: The Golden Child Film4, 7.10pm The 1986 family friendly from back in Eddie Murphy’s heyday sees our chortling anti-hero set on a quest to rescue the Golden Child, a Tibetan spiritual leader still a child kidnapped by evil forces. These, as it is the ‘80s, are led by Charles Dance. With romance provided by Charlotte Lewis, this comedy is fun fodder.

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Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds 10.45 The Lord Mayor’s Show 12.10pm BBC News 12.15 Formula 1: The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2.30 Boxing: British Championships 4.00 Remembrance Week 5.05 BBC News 5.15 South East Today 5.25 The Impressions Show 5.55 Tonight’s The Night

6.00am Little Robots 6.10 The Large Family 6.20 Garth And Bev 6.35 Little Charley Bear 6.45 Rastamouse 7.00 Roar 7.30 Arthur 7.50 Dennis & Gnasher 8.05 Pixelface 8.35 Splatalot 9.00 Live ‘n’ Deadly 10.00 Who Let The Dogs Out? 10.30 I Want My Own Room 11.00 Deadly Art 11.15 MOTD Kickabout 11.30 Football Focus 12.15pm The Sky At Night 12.35 Coast 12.40 FILM: Carefree (1938) 2.05 FILM: Singin’ In The Rain (1952) 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Great British Food Revival 5.30 Flog It! 6.30 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. For Wings of Victory week, Mainwaring and his troops stage the story of St George but end up with one dragon too many.

7.00 Dam Busters: The Race To Smash The German Dams James Holland presents a fresh analysis of the legendary 1943 Dam Busters raid, a low-level night mission that took 19 Lancaster bombers deep into the heart of enemy territory to destroy German dams with a brand new weapon – the bouncing bomb.

8.00 Come Fly With Me (The Story Of Pan Am) See highlights.

9.00 QI XL Stephen Fry asks some taxing questions about things that start with ‘i’. Joining him are Sandi Toksvig, Al Murray, Dara O Briain and Alan Davies.

9.45 George Harrison: Living In The Material World See highlights.

11.20 ... Sings The Beatles Recorded for the 40th anniversary of Abbey Road, the Beatles’ final album, a journey through the classic and curious covers in the BBC archives.

Featuring Sandie Shaw singing a sassy Day Tripper, Shirley Bassey belting out Something, a closeharmony Carpenters cover of Help!, Joe Cocker’s chart-topping With A Little Help From My Friends, Oasis reinventing the Walrus and more.

12.20am Later... With Jools

6.00 – 7.00am Children’s teelvision 7.00 Tati’s Hotel 7.15 Monk 7.20 Super Hero Squad Show 7.45 Horrid Henry 8.00 The Cool Stuff Collective 8.25 Phineas And Ferb 8.40 Phineas And Ferb 9.00 Sonny With A Chance 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.45 This Morning: Saturday 12.45pm ITV News & Weather 12.50 FILM: Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (1995) 2.40 FILM: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) 4.20 Meridian News And Weather 4.30 ITV News & Weather 4.45 International Football Friendly: England V Spain 7.15 New You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill is back with some of the funniest home footage sent in by viewers. Might be you. Just sayin’.

7.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Expect laughs a-plenty as award-winning comedian Harry Hill tucks into all the week’s TV treats.

8.15 The X Factor Dermot O’Leary presents the sixth live show. The remaining acts sing live, each hoping that they can do enough to win viewers’ votes and stay in the competition. With judges Gary Barlow, Tulisa Contostavlos, Kelly Rowland and Louis Walsh.

9.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Paul Gascoigne Legendary footballer Paul Gascoigne joins Piers Morgan for a frank, emotional and revealing interview. He opens up about his battle with the booze. He also talks about his drug addiction, his marriage, what made him turn up at the scene of the Raoul Moat siege and, of course, his amazing career.

Ready for the BBC4 dramatisation?

10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 International Football Highlights Matt Smith, Gareth Southgate and Andy Townsend present action from England’s friendly match against the World Cup-winners.

12.00am The Cube 1.00 The Zone 3.00 Kojak 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Vue Film Show 6.55 British Rallycross Grand Prix 2011 7.20 Extreme Sailing Series 2011 7.50 BT And Channel 4 Present... 7.55 The Morning Line 8.50 Smallville 9.40 Made In Chelsea 10.50 Inside SBTV: From Bedroom To Boardroom 11.25 T4 Favourites: Snow Patrol 12.00pm The Big Bang Theory 12.35 The Big Bang Theory 1.05 The Simpsons 1.40 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Come Dine With Me 4.25 Come Dine With Me 4.55 Come Dine With Me 5.25 Come Dine With Me (x2)

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.50 Rupert Bear 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.45 Animal Families 10.00 Arthur Christmas: Movie Special 10.30 How Not To Decorate 11.20 The Gadget Show 12.15pm Big Brother: Live Final 1.40 FILM: Every Time We Say Goodbye (1986) 3.30 FILM: Tinker Bell And The Lost Treasure (2009) 5.15 FILM: Mulan (1998)

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open 8.00 Ringside 9.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 NFL – America’s Game 11.00 Ringside 12.00pm America’s Cup Uncovered 12.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 LIVE European Rugby 3.30 LIVE European Rugby 5.45 LIVE European Rugby 8.00 LIVE Darts 12.00am Fight Night 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 Take It Like A Fan 3.00 Live European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open

6.25 Jamie’s Great Britain Jamie travels over the Severn Bridge to South Wales.

7.25 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 World War II: The Last Heroes Documentary series based on the first-hand testimonies of Allied soldiers. This episode looks back to the autumn of 1944, when the US airborne entered the Hurtgen Forest in Germany and faced the coldest winter on record.

9.00 FILM: Twilight (2008) Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Billy Burke, Jackson Rathbone, Nikki Reed and Ashley Greene. Teen romance. A kooky girl moves to a small town and is intrigued by a brooding, aloof boy she meets at her new school. She finds out that he is hiding a dark secret - he is a vampire. Not a huge surprise at this point, with the new film in the series opening next Friday.

11.30 FILM: Let The Right One In (2008) Starring Kare Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson, Per Ragnar, Karin Bergqvist and Henrik Dahl. Fantasy horror about a shy, bullied boy named Oskar, who becomes friends with Eli, a pale young girl who moves in next door with a mysterious man.

1.40am FILM: Thirst (2009) 3.55 Island 4.10 Shapes 4.15 Amnesia 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Treacle People

6.55 FILM: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Starring Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight, Noah Taylor, Iain Glen, Daniel Craig, Chris Barrie. Action tale adapted from the popular video game in which the eponymous heroine races against time to find an ancient relic before it falls into the wrong hands. Gotta love the bouncing at the mansion. Watch it and see.

8.40 Five News Update 8.45 NCIS Drama series. An NCIS agent who used to work under Gibbs asks for the team’s help investigating a case where sailors on an aircraft carrier are dying of drug overdoses, but have no history of drug abuse.

Curiouser and curiouser.

9.45 Live International Boxing: Tyson Fury Commonwealth Defence Live Boxing action. Defending his Commonwealth title at Manchester’s EventCity, Tyson Fury’s latest challenger is Canadian Neven Pajkic.

11.15 UFC: Ultimate Fighting Championship Action from a top Ultimate Fighting Championship bout filmed on 29th October at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas.

12.15am SuperCasino 3.55 Great Artists 4.20 Divine Designs 4.45 Rough Guide To Luxury Destinations 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.55 Strictly Come Dancing Sir Bruce Forsyth and Tess Daly preside over another evening of glitz and glamour, as the nine remaining couples hit the dance floor to try their hardest to stay in Strictly Come Dancing.

8.20 Merlin Fantasy drama series.

Morgana joins forces with the enigmatic wizard Alator to uncover a secret that could change the course of destiny. With allies on both sides of the castle walls, can anyone stop her before Merlin’s greatest secret is revealed?

9.05 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 9.15 The Royal British Legion Festival Of Remembrance In the presence of the Queen and members of the royal family, and this year celebrating the 90th anniversary of the Royal British Legion, Huw Edwards presents the annual Festival of Remembrance from the Royal Albert Hall.

10.50 BBC News 11.15 FILM: Signs (2001) Starring Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin. Sci-fi thriller.

When a 500-foot crop circle mysteriously appears on the Bucks County farm of Reverend Graham Hess, he and his family try to take stock of what the sign means.

12.50am Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: Frost On Nixon 2.55 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 International Football 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Take It Like A Fan 12.30 Road To London 1.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 2.00 Take It Like A Fan 2.30 LIVE International Football 5.15 Sky Sports Classics 5.30 LIVE Four Nations Rugby League 8.00 LIVE Fight Night 10.00 International Football 11.00 Four Nations Rugby League 12.00am European Tour Golf 2.00 Four Nations Rugby League 3.00 International Football 4.00 Fight Night

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 6.30 H2O World Aquabike Championship 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 Sports Unlimited 10.00 WWE: Smackdown 12.00pm WWE: The Bottom Line 1.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Road To London 6.00 WWE: Smackdown 8.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 WWE: Late Night Superstars 11.00 WWE NXT 12.00am WWE: Late Night Smackdown 2.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Test Cricket

Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm 35mm 2011 12.30 Glenn Martin, DDS (x2) 1.30 Oops TV 2.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 3.00 Showboaters 4.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 5.00 Inside Gatwick 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Futurama (x4) 9.00 FILM: K19: The Widowmaker (2002) 11.40 Cop Squad 12.40am Law And Order 1.40 Caprica 2.35 Fringe

7.00pm Hot Like Us 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 9.45 FILM: King Arthur (2004) 11.40 Family Guy (x2) 12.25am American Dad! (x2) 1.10 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 1.55 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 2.55 Hot Like Us 3.55 The Real Hustle: New Recruits

7.00pm The Wonder Of Weeds 8.00 Wellington Bomber 9.00 Wallander: The Pyramid 10.30 The Slap 11.25 The Secret Life Of Ice 12.25am Wellington Bomber 1.25 The Late Show 2.10 Seven Ages Of Rock 3.10 The Wonder Of Weeds

2.25pm The Cube 3.25 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 5.15 FILM: Music And Lyrics (2007) 7.15 Celebrity Grimefighters 8.15 Grimefighters 8.45 Homes From Hell 9.45 The Xtra Factor 10.45 Celebrity Juice: I’m A Celebrity Special 11.30 Peter Andre: My Life 12.35am Harry Hill’s TV Burp

8.10am Upstairs, Downstairs (x2) 10.30 FILM: Calamity Jane (1953) 12.35pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 4.00 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide (2003) 6.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.15 Murder In Suburbia 12.20am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.15 Numb3rs

2.55pm Sorority Girls 3.55 Made In Chelsea 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Happy Endings 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: Meet The Spartans (2008) 10.40 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.35 Scrubs (x2) 12.35am The Cleveland Show (x2)

9.00am Time Team (x4) 1.15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1.20 BT And Channel 4 Present... 1.25 FILM: Rooster Cogburn (1975) 3.35 Grand Designs Revisited (x3) 6.50 Grand Designs (x2) 9.00 The Story Of Film: An Odyssey 10.25 FILM: Heat (1995) 1.45am The Story Of Film: An Odyssey 3.10 Close

11.00am Please Sir! (1971) 1.00pm Secondhand Lions (2003) 3.10 The Poseidon Adventure (1972) 5.25 Bless This House (1972) 7.10 The Golden Child (1986). See highlights. 9.00 Sex And The City (2008) 11.45 Isolation (2005) 1.35am Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes (1972) 3.25 Close

thelatest

.TV

Guy Does...

www.thelatest.tv

At last we see Guy Lloyd’s face! Watch Juice FM presenter Guy Lloyd in our new show on Brighton Lights. This week he takes on The Hoosiers at a round of Crazy Golf!

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044_LS551_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 03/11/2011 15:20 Page 1

sunday 13 I’m A Celebrity...

Get Me Out Of Here!

ITV1, 9pm This must be somehow launched in association with the Australian tourist board – just when our night’s are drawing in a new batch of celebrities make a bid to boost sales of their forthcoming memoirs by dropping into the Oz outback and the lush sunshine.

Don’t fancy the diet much though.

Teenage Vampires Channel 4, 11.05pm It’s hardly news that vampires and werewolves are in vogue with teens at the moment. From Twilight to the raunchier True Blood, screen vamps are spawning a new phenomenon of bloody-thirsty real life teen vampires. This films with a ‘pack’ of teens from San Antonio following thier vampire lives.

Misfits E4, 10pm It’s good to have ambitions, even if you do already have a head start by having a superpower and an ASBO-loving gang of powered up misfit friends. Which is why Simon is in training to become his super-hoodie future alter-ego.

And it’s good that he saves uber geek Peter from a mugging. Then it all goes a bit weird.

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BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.25 Remembrance Sunday: The Cenotaph 12.15pm Formula 1: The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 3.10 The Politics Show 4.10 Frozen Planet 5.10 Points Of View 5.25 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Little Robots 6.10 The Large Family 6.20 Garth And Bev 6.35 Little Charley Bear 6.45 Rastamouse 7.00 Roar 7.30 Arthur 7.50 Dennis & Gnasher 8.05 League Of Super Evil 8.15 Jinx 8.35 Wingin’ It 9.00 Sam & Mark’s Big Friday Wind Up 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Great British Food Revival 12.30pm FILM: On Moonlight Bay (1951) 2.05 EastEnders 4.00 Rugby League: Four Nations – Highlights 5.00 Peter Jones: How We Made Our Millions

6.00am Signed Stories 6.10 Boblins 6.20 Annabel’s Kitchen 6.35 Special Agent Oso 6.45 Special Agent Oso 7.00 Sooty 7.15 Monk 7.20 The Cool Stuff Collective 7.45 Horrid Henry 8.00 Generator Rex 8.30 Victorious 8.55 Wizards Of Waverly Place 9.25 Monk 9.30 Finger Tips 9.45 FILM: The Adventures Of Brer Rabbit (2006) 11.00 ITV News & Weather 11.05 FA Cup 1st Round: Halifax Town v Charlton Athletic 3.00pm The X Factor 4.30 Downton Abbey

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 Adidas Terrex Coast To Coast 7.20 The Crush With KFC Krushems 7.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 10.40 Professor Green Unseen 10.55 Live And Lost With Blackberry 11.00 The Simpsons 11.35 Shipwrecked: The Island 12.35pm The Simpsons 1.05 Channel 4 Racing 3.35 BT And Channel 4 Present...

3.40 Grand Designs 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.45 FILM: Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs (2009)

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.45 Animal Families 10.00 The Hotel Inspector 11.00 Paul Merton’s Adventures 12.00pm Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 1.00 Bomber Boys: Revealed 1.55 Zoo Days 2.00 FILM: Mary Higgins Clarke Moonlight Becomes You (1997) 3.50 FILM: Avalanche Express (1979) 5.25 5 News 5.30 FILM: The Great Escape (1963)

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Fight Night 10.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 11.00 Sunday Supplement 12.30pm European Rugby 3.00 LIVE European Rugby 5.30 LIVE Four Nations Rugby League 8.00 LIVE Darts 12.00am Four Nations Rugby League 1.30 European Rugby Special 2.30 Four Nations Rugby League 3.55 Live Test Cricket

6.00 Remembrance Sunday: The Cenotaph Coverage of the morning’s Remembrance Sunday commemorations and the march past of veterans at The Cenotaph.

7.00 Top Gear Jeremy, Richard and James attempt to save the planet by building their own electric car, and then put their latest ‘green’ creation through the new car testing process.

Which bit will fall off first?

8.00 How To Build A Super Jumbo Wing Britain is one of the world leaders in aerospace manufacturing and there’s one part of a plane we are reputed to make better than anyone else - the wings. The film follows some of the people who work at the two main UK Airbus factories.

9.00 George Harrison: Living In The Material World Arena broadcasts the second and concluding part of Martin Scorsese’s portrait of George Harrison. Looking at Harrison’s post-Beatles days - as a member of the Travelling Wilburys and a solo artist, as well as looking at his non-musical ventures, including his work as a producer and his family life with wife Olivia and son Dhani.

11.05 Timewatch: Beatlemania Documentary which tells the inside story of the rise and fall of Beatlemania.

11.55 Never Mind The Buzzcocks 12.25am FILM: Romance And Cigarettes (2005) 2.05 BBC News

6.00 Meridian News; Weather 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Repeat of yesterday’s comic commentary.

7.00 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show. In this episode, primary school teacher Scott aims for top marks, while marketing manager Sarah learns that nothing is as simple as it seems inside the Cube.

8.00 The X Factor Results Dermot O’Leary presents the results show and reveals the fate of the remaining contestants. There are also live performances from Lady Gaga and One Direction. Plus there is a look at the backstage drama from the live show. Be a judge yourself and rate out of ten how convinicing the ‘backstage drama’ really is. And how dramatic.

9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! See highlights.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 FA Cup Highlights Matt Smith introduces highlights of today’s FA Cup first round action as well as a review of the best of the weekend’s ties.

11.45 Real Crime With Mark Austin: The Game Show Killer Mark Austin looks at the case of four brutal gun murders in Pembrokeshire in the 1980s.

12.45am The Zone 2.00 Motorsport UK 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

7.25 4thought.tv 7.30 Channel 4 News 8.00 River Cottage Veg Every Day Chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall spends a summer as a vegetarian, sampling a variety of meat-free foodstuffs. Hugh immerses himself in the pleasures of wild swimming with vegetarian triathlete Colin Hill.

9.00 The Secret Millionaire Series in which millionaires go undercover in a deprived area in the hope of changing someone’s life with a generous gift. Former owner of the Priory Clinic, Dr Chai Patel, goes undercover as a doctor to explore the relationship between poor health and poverty. Chai gets hands on, dressing the leg wounds of Sheffield’s homeless at the Cathedral Archer Project and taking keep fit classes for isolated pensioners in one of Sheffield’s poorest estates with the Gleadless Valley Community Forum.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr is joined on his chat show by all four X Factor judges: Gary Barlow, Kelly Rowland, Louis Walsh and Tulisa Contostavlos, along with Tinie Tempah, Terry Wogan and Kasabian.

11.05 Teenage Vampires See highlights.

12.05am Derren Brown: The Secret Of Luck 1.10 American Football Live 4.45 Postmodern Pastimes 5.00 Freesports On 4 5.25 Countdown

9.00 FILM: Hang ‘Em High (1968) Starring Clint Eastwood, Inger Stevens, Ed Begley, Pat Hingle, Arlene Golonka, James MacArthur and Ruth White. Wild West revenge tale in which a cowboy hunts down the vigilantes who tried to hang him after mistaking him for a murderer. Left for dead by the lynch mob, he is rescued by a passing lawman and made a deputy marshal by a local judge, who sends him out to bring the men in.

Clint Eastwood’s first American-made western after Sergio Leone’s Dollar trilogy made him a star.

11.15 FILM: Young Guns (1988) Starring Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Charlie Sheen, Jack Palance and Terry O’Quinn. Offbeat western about six young outlaws in 1870s New Mexico, led by Billy the Kid, who ride out to avenge the death of their mentor, a British rancher murdered by a cattle baron. The tearaways are deputised and told to bring the guilty men back alive, but Billy has other plans, and a bloody rampage ensues.

Did the deputising folk not learn at all from Clint’s off kilter behaviour?!

1.15am SuperCasino 4.00 Chinese Food In Minutes 4.10 Nick’s Quest 4.45 Divine Designs 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00 BBC News 6.15 South East Today 6.25 Countryfile Matt Baker and Ellie Harrison are in Derbyshire.

7.25 Strictly Come Dancing Results Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman host the results show.

8.00 Antiques Roadshow In 2010, Antiques Roadshow appealed for stories of “Unsung Heroes” to test the waters for a Remembrance special. In this special edition Fiona Bruce and Roadshow specialists draw together a powerful group of previously unheard stories.

9.00 Garrow’s Law Drama set in the late 18th century. Pioneering barrister Based on the true story of James Hadfield - accused of attempting to assassinate King George III - Garrow risks his reputation to defend the indefensible. And he changes British law forever.

10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the popular news quiz.

11.10 Ask Rhod Gilbert Repeat of Wednesday’s episode.

11.45 FILM: Management (2008) Starring Jennifer Aniston, Steve Zahn. Romantic comedy.

1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman 1.55 The Queen’s Palaces 2.55 Holby City 3.55 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 Sailing 8.00 Four Nations Rugby League 9.00 Silverstone 24 Hours 10.00 International Football 11.00 Four Nations Rugby League 12.00pm Fight Night 2.00 LIVE Darts 6.00 LIVE NFL 9.30 LIVE NFL 1.00am European Tour Golf 3.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Road To London 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 9.00 WWE: Afterburn 10.00 Karting 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00pm International Polocrosse 1.00 Sailing 2.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 4.30 Wild Spirits 5.00 Karting 6.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 European Rugby Special 9.00 ATP Tennis 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE: Vintage Collection 1.00 This Week In WWE 1.30 Test Cricket 3.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm Road Wars 1.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 2.00 Sun, Sea And A&E 3.00 In Time: Special 3.30 Futurama (x4) 5.30 The Simpsons (x2) 6.30 Spy 7.00 Terra Nova 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Chris Ryan’s Strike Back (x2) 11.00 House 12.00am UK Border Force 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 Caprica

7.00pm Formula 1: The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Gavin & Stacey (x2) 10.00 American Dad! (x2) 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 Him & Her 12.00am Mongrels (x2) 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.30 Gavin & Stacey (x2) 2.30 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes

7.00pm The Story Of British Pathé 8.00 Spitfire Women 9.00 World War Two: 1941 And The Man Of Steel 10.30 FILM: War Requiem (1989) 12.00am Symphony 1.00 The Story Of British Pathé 2.00 World War Two: 1941 And The Man Of Steel

4.30pm The Xtra Factor 5.30 You’ve Been Framed!

6.00 FILM: The Flintstones In Viva Rock Vegas (2000) 8.00 Grimefighters (x2) 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.15 One Direction 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.30 Models, Misfits & Mayhem 12.35am FILM: Lady In The Water (2006)

12.35pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.45 Foyle’s War 3.55 Mr Bean 4.35 Perspectives: Looking For Lowry 5.25 David Jason’s Greatest Escapes: The Full Story 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 My Boy Jack 11.00 Perspectives: Hugh Laurie – Down By The River 12.00am Hornblower 2.00 Numb3rs (x2)

2.20pm FILM: Alvin And The Chipmunks (2007) 4.00 Make It Or Break It (x2) 5.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 6.45 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.35 FILM: Iron Man (2008) 10.00 Misfits.

See highlights. 11.05 Comedy Lab: Kabadasses 11.40 Tool Academy 12.40am Dirty Digest

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.35 Scrapheap Challenge (x4) 1.50pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.40 Katie Price Booked 5.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 Jamie At Home (x2) 9.00 Jamie’s American Food Revolution 10.00 Trophy Kids 11.05 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.45 Father Ted 12.15am The IT Crowd 12.50 Black Books

11.00am Pony Express (1953) 1.00pm Picture Perfect (1997) 2.55 Saboteur (1942) 5.05 This Happy Breed (1944) 7.15 How She Move (2007) 9.00 The Square (2008) 11.05 Sex Drive (2008) 1.10am C.R.A.Z.Y. (2005) 3.40 Close

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.TV

Brighton Lights 32

www.thelatest.tv

Comedian and TV writer Mark Allen spills all about his fabulous show The Humble Quest For Universal Genius, as featured in the Brighton Comedy Festival Fringe

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045_LS551_TV_Mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 03/11/2011 18:08 Page 1

monday 14 Brave New World With Stephen Hawking Channel 4, 8pm The professor searches the globe for the scientific breakthroughs that are transforming our lives in the 21st century and in particular, improving the strength and resilience of the human body. In this week’s episode Mark Evans explores the oceans’ untapped reserves of life-changing drugs.

Young Apprentice BBC1, 9pm This week Lord Sugar sets the young entrepreneurs the task of selling to the over-50s market.

Will they be able to tap into the minds of the older generation, or will the old folks’ eye for a bargain see through the teenagers’ sales patter? There will certainly be one early retirement by closing time.

Stephen Fry In America BBC4, 7.30pm Stephen is fascinated by all things American, he would have been one had his father accepted a job at Princeton University. So naturally he has to drive through all 50 states in a black cab meeting Presidential hopefuls in New Hampshire, witches in Salem, plus small time mobsters and lobster fishermen.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 You’ve Been Scammed 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Moving On 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Barney’s Latin America 3.40 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Deadly Top 10 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00am Children’s television 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 1.30 Britain’s Killer Roads 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Location, Location, Location 10.55 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.25 FILM: The Return Of Frank James (1940) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am Children’s television 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Extraordinary People: Hope For Hayley 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.10 FILM: Blessed Stranger: After Flight 111 (2000) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.30 Four Nations Rugby League 1.30 International Football 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 Test Cricket 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.25 LIVE International Football 7.30 LIVE Darts 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Test Cricket 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Watersports World 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 The Simpsons Rivalry breaks out in Springfield as Comic Book Store Guy becomes involved in a war with another comic shop owner.

Meanwhile, Marge opens a gym and Homer wants to get fit. Guest starring Jack Black.

6.30 Hollyoaks Ethan returns to the village feeling more isolated than ever, but his desperate search for reassurance leaves Rob’s life in jeopardy.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Brave New World With Stephen Hawking See highlights.

9.00 Confessions Of An Undercover Cop Bafta Awardwinner Brian Hill recounts the story of how undercover police officer Mark Kennedy lived a remarkable double life for eight years as activist Mark Stone.

10.00 Rude Tube Alex Zane presents the funniest, strangest and most outrageous clips from the internet.

11.05 My Transsexual Summer Four-part documentary following seven transgender men and women over five weeks as they share their intimate and ongoing experiences of changing gender.

12.10am Fresh Meat 1.00 Random Acts 1.05 Coral Late Night Poker 2.00 FILM: Hare Rama Hare Krishna (1972) 4.15 Accidentally On Purpose 4.35 Without A Trace 5.20 St Elsewhere

6.00 Home And Away Miles feels helpless when Leah shuts him out following her miscarriage and Liam plays a gig at Angelo’s when the scheduled act pulls out.

6.25 OK! TV Jeff Brazier and Jenny Frost present a lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features from the worlds of fame, music and fashion.

7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Celebrity Wish List Feelgood, wish-fulfilment show, where celebrities dish out special surprises to deserving groups and members of the public.

8.00 The Gadget Show Jason, Jon and Polly head to Silverstone, Ortis takes a look at the latest in hi-tech microwaves.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex visits a hotel in Blackpool that has seen better days.

10.00 FILM: A Perfect World (1993) Starring Kevin Costner, Clint Eastwood, Laura Dern, T J Lowther, Keith Szarabajka and Leo Burmeister.

An escaped prisoner kidnaps a young boy and grows attached to him. The convict takes the boy with him as he goes on the run.

12.45am Comedy Kings: Best Of Just For Laughs 1.10 SuperCasino 3.55 Chinese Food In Minutes 4.10 Five VOD Grey’s Anatomy 4.55 Rough Guide To Adventures 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today .

7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the stories that matter from across the country.

7.30 Inside Out As farmers become the latest targets for metal thieves, the argument for a tracking system for metal is examined.

8.00 EastEnders Phil is unnerved to receive a mysterious photograph from an anonymous source.

8.30 Meet The Burglars – Panorama Reporter Raphael Rowe goes into a jail to witness a tense encounter between two young women and the youth who broke into their home while they slept.

9.00 Young Apprentice See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today .

10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts, with team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell.

11.05 John Bishop’s Britain John Bishop presents a mix of stand-up, sketches and real-life stories from the public.

11.50 The Graham Norton Show Repeat of Friday’s show.

12.35am Weatherview 12.40 Sign Zone: Paul Merton’s Birth Of Hollywood 1.40 The Impressionists: 2.40 The Story Of Ireland 3.40 Nigel Slater’s Simple Cooking 4.10 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Backstage gossip, training action and exclusive news from the dancing show.

7.00 Great British Food Revival Ten of the BBC’s best-known chefs and cooks are on a mission to popularise traditional British produce.

8.00 University Challenge It’s a local derby as students do battle for a place in the quarter-finals.

8.30 MasterChef: The Professionals Double Michelinstarred chef Michel Roux Jr and MasterChef dining expert Gregg Wallace are joined by Michel’s trusted sous chef Monica Galetti as they hunt for Britain’s next culinary superstar.

9.00 The Choir: Military Wives Choirmaster Gareth Malone has formed a new choir of Military Wives at RMB Chivenor in North Devon while their husbands are in Afghanistan for a six month tour.

10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Guest host Alice Cooper is joined by guest panellists Olly Murs, Wretch 32, Rufus Hound and Penny Smith.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Rev. Sitcom about a vicar running an inner-city church.

11.50 How To Build A Super Jumbo Wing Show about Britain’s aerospace manufacturing of wings.

12.50am BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Val again considers adopting Amy, and Ashley struggles to hide his hostility towards Marlon.

7.30 Coronation Street Chesney faces a tough decision as Schmeichel’s condition deteriorates.

8.00 Little England Documentary series following some of the British expats who have settled in the Dordogne in France.

8.30 Coronation Street Chesney says goodbye to his best mate and Fiz receives some life-changing news.

9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! This year’s celebrities try to adapt to jungle life as they wait to find out who will be the next to face a Bushtucker Trial.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Real Crime With Mark Austin: The Jigsaw Murder Mark Austin looks at the case of the grisly ‘Jigsaw Murder’. In the spring of 2009, members of the public found five separate body parts scattered across two counties.

11.35 The Zoo For the first time in ten years the Zoological Society of London have invited cameras into their two zoos – London Zoo in Regent’s Park and at Whipsnade.

12.30am The Zone 2.35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Tour Golf 11.00 European Rugby Special 12.00pm Darts 4.00 Take It Like A Fan 4.30 Four Nations Rugby League 6.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 Showjumping 8.00 Test Cricket 9.55 International Football 12.00am European Tour Golf 1.00 Darts 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Extreme 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 ATP Tennis 10.00 International Football 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL 2.00 Kings Of The Extreme 2.30 Fight Night 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 8.00 NFL 10.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.00 Close

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Terra Nova 9.00 Ross Kemp Back On The Frontline 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am Brit Cops: Law And Disorder 1.00 Fringe

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid?

8.30 Skin Deep: The Business Of Beauty 9.00 Mixed Up In The Middle East 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Mongrels 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 American Dad! (x2) 12.35am Skin Deep: The Business Of Beauty 1.05 Mixed Up In The Middle East 2.05 Mongrels

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Stephen Fry In America. See highlights.

8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Art Of America 10.00 The Billion Dollar Art Heist: Storyville 11.30 The Man Who Forged America 12.30am Only Connect 1.00 Stephen Fry In America 2.00 Spitfire Women 3.00 Art Of America

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of New York City 5.10 Loose Women 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 The X Factor 8.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 Baby Hospital 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.20 FILM: Batman And Robin (1997) 1.45am Coronation Street

8.50am Ironside (x2) 11.00 Inspector Morse 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.05 The Father Dowling Mysteries 5.10 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 FILM: The Suspicions Of Mr Whicher (2011) 11.00 Inspector Morse 1.05am Cracker

2.35pm Gilmore Girls 3.35 Desperate Housewives 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Made In Chelsea 11.00 Sorority Girls 12.05am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x4) 9.00 The Hospital 10.00 Undercover Boss USA 11.00 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 11.35 Unreported World 12.05am The Hospital

11.00am Drums Along The Mohawk (1939) 1.05pm The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 3.25 Cheyenne Autumn (1964) 6.25 Dreamgirls (2006) 9.00 Mr & Mrs Smith (2005) 11.15 The Conversation (1974) 1.25am The Red Desert (1964) 3.45 Close

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