Latest Seven 521: 12 -18 April

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

Brighton Lights Watch the live episode of Brighton Lights featuring Dakota Blue Richards from hit show Skins, hip-hoppers Boy Com and more!

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12 – 18 April 2011

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HARDEEP SINGH KOHLI The comedian gets set to cook up a storm ART SPECIAL A feast for the eyes at a gallery near you SWEET & SPICY The Chilli Pickle opens at My Hotel

Cool runnings Get set for action with RunBrighton page 11

2 course lunch £10 Available through to Easter, every day 12 – 4pm 19 PRINCE ALBERT STREET, BRIGHTON

www.gars.co.uk

01273 321321 info@gars.co.uk

002_LS521_Brighton Centre_000_LH480_Sussex Blinds 07/04/2011 09:32 Page 1

003_LS521 contents _Contents 08/04/2011 14:59 Page 1

2011

CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

NEWS & COMMENT 04 Latest People The Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival Spring Harvest events special; Latest TV live; Brighton Half Marathon 2011 prize giving & 2012 launch 06 News & Jobs Local Policing Plan, Arts Council funding, plus Council Leader Mary Mears on the South Downs National Park 06 Latest Inbox Your letters; website, Facebook and Twitter comments 07 Geeks On Wheels iPhone 5 news; the rise of the Android; Xbox hacker 09 Sport Mark Brailsford on The Seagulls’ serene sailing; Andrea Fox takes up Joanna Hall’s Walkactive class 12 Bare Cheek The truth behind Brighton’s road names 12 Mad Matt Matt Whistler goes on his travels... in a suitcase 12 Competitions Win tickets to the National Golf Show and The Circus Of Horrors, plus TV classic Birds Of A Feather on DVD 13 City Speak Ruby tries to get tickets to the Olympics, Tasha gives blood, and Will has a nightmarish visit to the dentist 14 Snapshots Manon Courtney of Brighton’s Walk Of Fame 15 Celebcity Renee Zellweger, Elbow, Patsy Palmer and Lee Ross

L7 INTERVIEW 10 Hardeep Singh Kohli on cooking live on stage for his audience in The Nearly Naked Chef

LIFESTYLE 11 Cover feature Aim for a personal best! Keep active and get training advice from the newly launched RunBrighton website 17 Art Galleries Stunning works of art for the home and garden 22 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink; Hotlist Bigger and better: the newly opened Chilli Pickle 24 Health Hydrating products for the skin and hair

12–18 APRIL

>online

>on tv

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thelatest.tv

Architecture In Helsinki isn’t about exploring buildings in foreign climes – it could be, but here we are talking about the infectiously feel-good indie pop sounds of the Australian band who just so happened to choose this as their namesake.

Log on to our website where you can win tickets to see the band down at Concorde 2 this Friday 16 April.

There’s just a few days left to enter so log on now. For other competitions this week including tickets to The Circus Of Horrors turn to page 12.

To find out what’s happening in Sussex this week, check out our comprehensive listings online. From body-bending yoga classes and sidesplitting comedy shows to top theatre and mustsee music, it’s all on the website. Plus you can get listings straight to your mobile phone!

This week Matt Whistler packed himself up in a suitcase for his latest challenge. Set his next stunt by sending your suggestions via our Facebook page. Two World Records have been set so far.

See it all: www.thelatest.co.uk/7

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www.facebook.com/latest7

Comedy, music or clubs?

WHAT’S ON 24 Reviews Journey’s End, The Wanted, The Gruffalo’s Child 25 Bookings; Latest Brighton Download Chart The Bluetones, Live Suggs, Milton Jones 26 Latest Previews Orquesta Buena Social Vista Club, Fringe comedy, Kemble’s Riot, Scream 4 in cinemas 30 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Britain’s Next Big Thing, seven-day TV listings Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Administration Claire Peerless

t

Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Advertising Sales Carla Read Creative Director Andrew Kay

Production Director Fiona McTernan Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Brighton resident Jez Eaton has been compared to Tracey Emin and Sarah Maple and is undoubtedly one of the UK's most talented conceptual artists, which means she makes you think! Last year her dresses made from Lidl bags, condoms and toilet rolls in The Trashion Show, opened eyes and raised eyebrows. This year, her new show is already the talk of the town and I confidently predict Roadkills Couture will be one of the UK's most controversial fashion and art statements of the year. Controversial because as Jez Eaton says in our film, all the clothes are respectfully and lovingly created from dead animals and pets hence the title ‘Roadkills’.

Obviously some disagree and you can watch our audience question Jez about the morality on a very lively Brighton Lights filmed in front of a live audience at Latest MusicBar. Kelsey Cameron interviews actress Dakota Blue Richards about her double life as star of Skins and Sussex schoolgirl. Is Skins true to life? We find out.

Music comes from the electric sound of brassy hip-hoppers Boy Com and the charming melodies of The Morning Orchestra. Your barmaid is Lynne Cessant, your World Record beater is Matt Whistler and your presenter is Val Aviv.

L7

Find out what’s going on in Brighton while you’re on the move with comprehensive listings straight to your mobile phone

m.thelatest.co.uk Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Glyn George Melina Greenfield Rachel Junior Editorial Assistant Laura Hayward

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Music Listings Nick Aldwinckle Design Anand Day Andrew Wright

Illustrators Lili Bé Paul Lewis Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

Watch our show at www.thelatest.tv If you want to be involved with Latest TV come along to our open meetings every Monday at Latest Musicbar, 5.30pm.

latest brighton the digital capital of europe

01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

004_005_LS521_latest people_Social Diary 08/04/2011 15:19 Page 2

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latest brighton the digital capital of europe

LATEST PEOPLE

latest PEOPLE

Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival’s Spring Harvest, Brighton Half Marathon 2011 prize giving & 2012 launch, Latest TV live!

Keep on running Brighton Half Marathon launched its 2012 event and prize giving at The Thistle Hotel in Brighton on 24 March.

The official charity for 2012 is The Sussex Beacon, which provides specialist support and care for men and women living with HIV at its purpose-built care centre in Brighton. Brighton Half Marathon is one of the longest established and most popular seafront road race events in the UK. Registration is now open for the 2012 Brighton Half Marathon, which takes place on Sunday 19 February 2012.

Details can be found at www.brightonhalfmarathon.com Photos: Patrick Kneath

xxx

Naomi Bos (Communications Officer, Rise), Juley Ayres (Sussex Beacon), Kat Williams (Chief Exec, Sussex Beacon), Jean Spray (Chair of Trustees, Rise)

Andy Mitchelson (Brookes), Rebecca Poyntz (Wateraid), James Macdonald (passingiton.org.uk), Becky Stevens (Race Director), Patrick Davoren (Sweatshop), Elle Phillips (Studio 57 Clinic)

Bob Harber (Regional Board Member, The Co-Operative), David Lepper

Kat Williams (Chief Exec, Sussex Beacon), Becky Stevens (Race Director), Andrea Fox (Juice FM)

Sue Soar (2011 Winner Over 70+ Women),.

Andy Mitchelson (Brooks)

Terry Avey (Winner Mens Over 60+). Ian Leitch (2nd place men's), Sue Soar (Winner Over 70+), Bob Harber (Regional Board Member, The Co-Operative). Fiona Powell (Women's Winner). Raymond Blackwell (Winner Men's over 70+), Helen Buller (3rd place Women's), Stewart Pepper (Winner Men's over 50+), Nancy Jones (8-11 yrs, Winner) Issac Wright (8-11 yrs Winner)

Rebecca Richardson (Breathe Unity), Natasha Prochaski & Zara Baker (Latest Magazine)

Andy Mitchelson (Brookes), Rebecca Poyntz (Wateraid), James Macdonald (passingiton.org.uk), Becky Stevens (Race Director), Patrick Davoren (Sweatshop), Elle Phillips (Studio 57 Clinic)

Lovely bubbly Hotel Du Vin hosted the Champagne & Sussex Sparkling Wine Festival as part of the Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival’s Spring Harvest which ran from 1–10 April. There was a chance to sample and buy wines from suppliers and winemakers including Grande Marques, Laurent Perrier and Lanson, and local producers Breaky Bottom and Ridgeview.

For more details of the events: www.brightonfoodfestival.com.

The main festival runs from 1–30 September 2011.

Photos: Patrick Kneath

Steve Lewis (Vintage Roots, organic wine specialists), Philip Taylor (Terre Terre, Vegetarian Restaurant)

Gerry Skeels & Andy Trigwell (Henry George Wines), Carla Ter Maat (Drakes Hotel)

Chefs in pancake race: (L-R) Peter Diha, Drakes; Becky Lynch, Temptation; Dan Garland, Terre a Terre; Michael Bowell, Hotel du Vin; Roger Marlowe, Paskins Hotel

Nigel Wilkinson (Boutinot representing Lallier) Garry Warren & Alan Jenkins (Bolney Wine Estate)

xxx Henry Butler (Butler's Wine Cellar), Matt Robinson, Andrew Kay (Latest Magazine)

Fanatical about food The Brighton & Hove Food and Drink Festival ‘Spring Harvest’ Festival kicked off on Friday 1 April with a hilarious 100-metre city chefs pancake race on Brighton Pier, won

by Michael Bowell of Hotel du Vin. The event was followed by a VIP party and Sussex Beer Festival at Pub du Vin. www.brightonfoodfestival.com Photos: Courtesy of Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival

Brighton & Hove Food and Drink Festival Committee

Soozie Campbell, Roger Marlowe and Olivia Reid

Paula Seager (launching Brighton & Hove Foodie Awards)

004_005_LS521_latest people_Social Diary 08/04/2011 15:17 Page 3

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LATEST PEOPLE

Latest TV goes live Latest Musicbar played host to some of the best up-and-coming music, comedy and artistic talent in Brighton at the first-ever Latest TV live show on 23 March. The packed crowd were entertained by hilarious sets from skijumping icon Flange Kramer and comedian Matt Whistler, before getting down to performances by Boy Com and The Morning Orchestra. Audience members then got the chance to debate the merits of Jess Eaton’s road kill couture and the role of Sussex’s Dakota Blue-Richards in Skins.

Watch the show at www.thelatest.tv Words: Richard Hook Photos: Diana Frangi

Bill Smith (Latest TV)

Matt Whistler (comedian), Val Aviv (Latest TV host)

Boy Com

David Yeoman (The Morning Orchestra), Kelsey Cameron (Latest TV host)

Steve and Adam (sound technicians, Latest TV)

Mine’s a pint

Alongside the Champagne & Sussex Sparkling Wine Festival, Hotel Du Vin hosted The Sussex Beer Festival on 1 April as part of Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival’s Spring Harvest. Tickets to the event sold out, and those in attendance were able to sample beers and ciders from local Sussex breweries and producers, and enjoy great pub grub (including a hog roast) at Pub du Vin on Ship Street.

More details of the events can be found at www.brightonfoodfestival.com Photos: Patrick Kneath Victoria Ryznar (Business l Du Vin) Development Manager, Hote

Open for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Rachel Lampen (Bonjour Breakfast), Myles & Zoe Cunliffe (Mixology Group)

Nick Mosley (Brighton & Hove Food Festival Organiser) The “Beer Monitors”

Enjoy our 3 course Royal Banquet celebrating local produce Watch the ceremony live on our own ‘big screen’ (Tickets £20 per guest – Royal dress code)

102-105 Western Road Brighton BN3 1FA

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006_LS521_news_council_philmills_editorial 08/04/2011 12:11 Page 2

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06 LATEST NEWS

L7 News

7

days of headlines with Phil Mills

The Grand Hotel bombing nearly 27 years on, Local Policing Plan & Arts Council funding

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t was 26 years and a few months ago when Norman Tebbit was rescued in his pyjamas from Brighton’s bombed Grand Hotel – and to this day the now Lord Tebbit says he still cannot forgive IRA bomber Patrick Magee.

Celebrating his 80th birthday and still caring for his wife Margaret, disabled in the bombing, he said only God could pardon Magee.

Could the police today muster the kind of manpower-intensive operation that was needed to catch the culprit?

As Sussex Police embarks on probably the greatest period of change in its history, Sussex Police Authority has launched its annual Local Policing Plan for 2011/12.

Against a background of uncertainty and during a time when cuts to achieve £52 million savings by 2015 had already begun, the force’s detection record remains good.

But Chief Constable Martin Richards is not underestimating the scale of the task facing the organisation. “Our most important consideration is whether, in modernising, we are improving the service we provide and whether our people are properly supported to do so,” he said.

The police will be looking for more help from the public and if recent events are anything to go by, there are some pretty good amateur crimefighters out there.

Two elderly sisters thwarted a bogus caller in Hollingdean when he said that he needed to turn off their water supply during roadworks. The vigilant pair – both in their late 80s – watched the man throughout this visit. He called at their home in Crestway, Brighton, but the women followed him around their home until he left. PC Duncan Lloyd said: “Although the sisters did let him in, they did keep an eye on him, and needless to say there were no roadworks outside. Keep unknown callers out, but if they do get in, watch them like a hawk and if in any doubt call us via 999.”

Two other women helped bring a robber to justice. Mark Keating pleaded guilty and was jailed for four years. He tried to rob his first victim, a 79-year-old woman, in Broad Street, Kemp Town, but she held on to her bag as she was dragged to the floor. Staff from the near-by Amsterdam Bar overheard the victim’s screams and came to her assistance, causing Keating to run.

The second victim, an 85-year-old local woman, was attacked from behind and had her bag stolen in Westbourne Street, Hove. Detective

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riday 1 April was an historic day in this part of the world as the new South Downs National Park officially went live. This is a moment of great significance for nature conservation and for the protection of a unique habitat which Brighton and Hove residents are rightly proud of having on their doorstep.

The National Park itself stretches over 100 miles from Winchester in the west, to Eastbourne in the east and contains large areas of ancient woodlands, open heathland and the rolling downlands, which we are all so familiar

comment@thelatest.co.uk Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Where is the benefit, to the people of and visitors to Brighton and Hove, in Andrew Kay telling us of only the good places to eat in and around the city? Is he really lucky enough to avoid all others, or are we to believe that there are no bad or fair to middling eateries in the area? And visiting restaurants weekly until he finds one worthy of his pen surely helps nobody other than the restaurant reviewed, if this is what he does.

Graeme Taylor, via email Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink column is a reccommendation of places where people should dine. We are publicising the great and the good in the city and beyond. If they’re not up to par, then they don’t get a mention. In this way, the column is a guide – for both visitors and residents – to the best places to dine in Sussex.

Stomp (LS516 cover feature) What an absolutely BRILLIANT show. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole performance. What energy, what timing... WOW! Paul Robard, via www.thelatest.co.uk/7 Derren Brown (Svengali) I can’t wait to see Derren’s latest show. I've seen the past two and I’m hoping this one is the best yet.

James Bavington, via Twitter You can also write to Letters, Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH

Do you have memories of the Grand Hotel bombing of 1984?

Also, comment on our features online at www.thelatest.co.uk/7, via our Facebook page and Twitter

comment@thelatest.co.uk follow me on twitter

with. Perhaps surprisingly, 40 per cent of the area of Brighton and Hove actually falls within the National Park and so there will be significant implications for us as a council.

Most importantly, the new South Downs National Park Authority (SDNPA) is now the official planning authority for the areas of the city which fall inside the park. Indeed, this is probably the only slight area of controversy about the setting up of the National Park as, in theory at least, it does go against the principles of local decision-making I think we all cherish.

However, I would like to reassure residents that the vast majority of planning matters will still be dealt with by our local planning committee. It is only significant developments which would be considered by the National Park and even then, we would still have a big input. I am pleased this

latest7news

Pic: Cllr. Ken Norman

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on the south’s National Park

latest inbox

Constable Merran Waters said: “Both the victims are tough women.”

Sussex Police is saving £8 million by sharing air support across Sussex, Surrey and Hampshire. The South East Air Support Unit (SEASU) involves two helicopters, one based at Shoreham Airport, covering the three force areas. Regional Inspector for SEASU Steve Cheeseman said: “The use of helicopters are an invaluable resource which through this collaboration we hope to continue for many years to come.”

Talking of cuts, the future of two famous Brighton events will be raised in discussions between the council and a group which has lost all its Arts Council funding.

Same Sky, which runs the city’s winter celebration Burning the Clocks, as well as the annual May Children’s Parade, will lose all of its Arts Council money after the 2011/12 financial year. The body previously received around £100,000 annually.

The city council has pledged to investigate what it might do to help Same Sky and North Laine arts venue The Basement, which also missed out. The authority has already decided to fund Same Sky with £35,000 a year between 2010-13 but the cuts raise concerns locally about the future of Burning the Clocks, now attended by up to 40,000 people. Some 6,000 people and all local schools take part in the Children’s Parade.

Lastly, a gas company is being fined by Brighton & Hove City Council after breaking an agreement and starting work during rush hour, causing gridlock at the junction of Lewes Road and Coombe Road.

The “hurrahs” from drivers is deafening!

arrangement has been agreed because planning is one of those areas where localism is incredibly important.

In fact, last Wednesday we were the first council in the South Downs to hear a planning application – at Stanmer Park – which has been delegated from the National Park.

Another immediate change is that the SDNPA now becomes the official authority for Access Land in the national park. The rights of ramblers will not be affected by this change in responsibility.

As a council, we have always supported the creation of a National Park for the South Downs and so to see it become reality is very satisfying and I am certain will bring great benefits to residents and visitors alike in the coming years. For more information please see www.southdowns.gov.uk

007_LS521_Geeks_editorial 07/04/2011 12:53 Page 1

latest brighton the digital capital of europe

GEEKS ON WHEELS 07

Geeks-on-Wheels Jamie Shaw of Geeks-on-Wheels knows what’s new in computerland iPhone 5 Camera Rumour control has it that Sony may be supplying Apple with their 8megapixel Sony Exmor R camera sensor for the new iPhone 5.

same functionality as Apple’s OS X Time Machine which allows users to retrieve previously deleted files.

Android number one According to new research from digital banking provider, Intelligent Environments, Android smartphones are now the most popular in the UK.The report claims that 28 per cent of smartphone users have an Android device, with 26 per cent having iPhones. 14 per cent are said to have a BlackBerry. In the 25- to 34-year-old bracket, 36 per cent had Android smartphones. While Google’s Android platform is perhaps beginning to take the edge over the opposition in terms of sheer ownership numbers, iPhone users still use their smartphones the most heavily, with 18 per cent clocking up four hours or more per day, compared to just 4 per cent of Android and BlackBerry owners.

Microsoft Xbox hack An Xbox live “hacker” has broken into Microsoft’s chief Xbox Live policy enforcement lead Stephen Toulouse. Toulouse, known as Stepto, had his account exploited using social engineering techniques. Xbox Live hacker “Predator” was able to alter his Xbox Live account information via Toulouses’s personal website host, Network Solutions. Journalists spoke to “Predator” about individual claims he was not motivated by malicious reasons: “I’m simply letting them know I’m willing to help them secure accounts from future hackers,” he explained. “The hack follows a high profile breach of Larry Hryb’s (Major Nelson) Xbox Live account last year. Predator claims in his video that he breaches accounts for “good money”. Microsoft has not yet commented on the claims.

Illegal website access to be blocked MPs have been in negotiations with Internet Service Providers and intellectual rights holders to create a system that would allow access to be blocked to certain websites. The move comes as part of the Digital Economy Act, rushed through Parliament in the final days of the previous Government, which seeks to block access to those websites that are deemed to have been illegally distributing copyright material. Now that the act has been passed, all that remains is the actual task of implementing the proposed measures.

Google’s big spend Google has bid $900 million for 6,000 of the bankrupt firm Nortel’s patents “to protect them from falling into litigious hands”. The web giant’s bid will be the starting point that other firms will have to bid against. Google said it was bidding on the bankrupt networking firm’s IP to build up a defence against patent litigation. The Nortel patents cover a wide range of technologies including networking, wireless, search and social networking. The auction is expected to be held in June.

Windows 8 back-up Rumour control again has it that Microsoft is set to incorporate a new feature into the upcoming Windows 8 called the History Vault. The new feature will apparently allow Windows 8 to automatically shadow copy files and data, effectively creating a time delay backup automatically. The feature is expected to perform with much the

Internet printing HP and Google have joined forces to make printing via the cloud simple and secure by linking apps to printers. The partnership will allow users to print directly to any HP ePrint-enabled printer from Google Cloud Print supported apps running on smartphones, tablets or PCs. Using the cloud, businesses will not need to bother with print drivers or PC connections.

Geeks-on-Wheels Europe Ltd. won the PC Retail Awards 2010 ‘Service and Support’ category – our IT support services really are second to none for consumers and businesses. Try our managed cloud back-up service for small business customers – www.backupservices.geeks-on-wheels.com/ Geeks-on-Wheels Europe support home and small business customers across the south-east of England.

Call free on 0800 107 4111 (outside the M25) or 0800 107 4110 (London – within the M25) to reserve your Geek.

008_LS521_college News_editorial 08/04/2011 10:00 Page 2

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08 LATEST NEWS

The show must go on Tom Stoppard OBE supports the Fringe Festival’s adaptation of Get Carter

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ollowing the announcement of cuts in arts funding, several Brighton Fringe participants are turning to innovative ways of raising money for their shows. Acclaimed playwright Tom Stoppard CBE has donated money to a 40th anniversary theatre adaptation of Get Carter, the classic Michael Caine film.

Stoppard sent a note with his donation wishing the company the best of luck with the production.

“It is humbling to be recognised by such a legend in British theatre,” said director James Weisz.

Weisz has worked hard to raise awareness of the show among potential supporters and funders, writing to those who would be most

Star academy opens Next month sees the opening of the new Pauline Quirke Academy of Performing Arts (PQA) in Rottingdean at St Aubyns School.

PQA is aimed at children aged aged 6 to 18 with the focus firmly on fun. Modules include Comedy and Drama, Musical Theatre and Film & Television, which teaches students about the different acting styles required for camera work.

Children will also learn how film and television productions are created, and get the chance to take part in frequent specialist Masterclasses, which include Stage Combat, Physical Comedy, Street Dance and Circus Skills.

Parents can monitor their child’s progress through PQA’s Creative Stages Awards scheme, which recognises

L7 NEWS in brief >Bargain bus fare deal

for train passengers Brighton & Hove Buses has announced a bargain rate bus ticket for train commuters to be introduced on 17 April. The standard price for a one day Saver ticket will be cut from £3.70 to just £2 for passengers boarding buses at Brighton Station. The new £2 ticket is being launched the same day as a fleet of 21 Volvo double deck buses with the latest environmentally-friendly Euro 5 category engines.

>City memorial vandalised

The AIDs memorial in New Steine Gardens was vandalised last week, raising the issue that the park should be locked at night. “Some people believe there should be public access 24 hours but this did raise concerns because of the memorial,” said Zoe Delicata, chair of the St James' Area Business Group. Plans to lock the park will now be raised in the next Local Action Team meeting.

likely to remember the original Michael Caine film. There is also an option to donate to the production via the website.

The success of Weisz's campaign is just one example of the way Fringe artists are thinking creatively and finding new, collaborative ways to fund projects.

Get Carter is at the Hove Centre, 10–13 May.

their achievements and records their progress during their time with PQA. Principal of PQA Rottingdean, Julian McDowell launched PQA Brighton last year and the success of the school has encouraged him to expand to Rottingdean.

“As someone who got involved with performing arts at an early age, it’s great to be able to offer this opportunity to children in the area,” Julien said. “The Brighton PQA [Southwick] has been a huge success and our established team of teachers will be ensuring that children at the new Academy get the most out of the experience.”

PQA Rottingdean launches on Sunday 8 May at St Aubyns School. Local children and their parents are invited along and find out more. www.pqacademy.com

Wedding bands Couples in search of a quirky place to tie the knot can head along the coast to Eastbourne where the historic bandstand is now licensed for weddings and ceremonies.

The semi-circular bandstand with its distinctive blue domed roof can hold up to 600 guests. As the country’s only fully operational bandstand, it is already a popular music venue in the town, hosting over 130 concerts each year.

“We are very excited to launch Eastbourne Bandstand as a wedding and ceremony venue and hope that it will be make a great alternative option for happy couples,” a spokesperson for Eastbourne Borough Council said. “The Bandstand really does offer something a bit different when it comes to wedding venues!”

Visit www.visiteastbourne.com for details on how to win a wedding at the Bandstand.

The bandstand is also available to hire for civil partnerships, naming days and renewal of vows. www.eastbournebandstand.co.uk Alice Neal

009_LS521_Sport_editorial 08/04/2011 14:50 Page 3

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SPORT 09

L7 Sport Always picked last Andrea Fox goes for a walk with a difference

Up the Albion!

Mark Brailsford on BHAFC’s serene sailing READ ALL ABOUT IT

A

fter a quarter of a century roaming about on two legs, walking isn’t something you would expect to have to learn to do. I’m pretty sure I haven’t given it much consideration since I was two years old, unless it’s a Saturday night and I’m wearing six-inch platform heels on cobbles. Like breathing, unless you are made to think of how you walk, it’s just one of those things that you do. Or so you thought...

According to diet and movement specialist Joanna Hall, changing small things about the way you walk could make a difference to your fitness levels and waistline. You may recognise her name from fitness sections on shows like This Morning and from helping well-known faces fit into smaller sized jeans over the years. But Joanna Hall has a new fitness passion and it’s walking. Her Walkactive club is just that. A club for people who want to get active and fitter through walking. But not by walking like you and I are used to. This is slightly different and the club comes with tips on walking gear, time trials, and even the option of social spa breaks!

I set off early one sunny windy Saturday to join in a Walkactive time trail on Brighton seafront. Having recently completed the Brighton Half Marathon for the first time (2 hours, 2 minutes, thank you very much for asking) I was pleased to be trying out a more gentle form of exercise and one which was not going to include a kettlebell of any sort. It was also a bonus to find out we’d be starting and finishing at Marroccos, a café serving ice cream.

The Walkactive method involves lots of small adjustments to your stride and step to “Walkactive is get you moving quicker and using more muscles than normal. After we’d set off, the friendly, helpful leaders of the Walkactive time about posture trail frequently caught up and gave us extra and making pointers as we made our way along the seafront route. I actually found it difficult to small changes concentrate for too long on the method without falling back into my usual walking pattern. The to your stride” enthusiastic time trail leader, Ange, with her Walk active red trousers, told me to think of my arms as wings, and to try and move them in a more deliberate fashion, too.

If that sounds a little drastic, it really wasn’t meant to. The movements aren’t supposed to make you look odd; it’s more about posture and small changes to your stride. I found it different because I wasn’t used to thinking about how I walk. I had feared the Walkactive training method would leave me looking like a speed walker, all waddling bum and arms swinging from side to side like a hammock in thunderstorm, but it wasn’t. I even worked up a small sweat, which was unexpected. Advocates of the method, and of Joanna Hall herself, said they use the techniques whenever they walk, and no-one stops and points.

Walking can be pretty solitary but the Walkactive club have considered this and offer regular group walking time trails to test your speed. There are spa breaks with other Walkactive members, and plenty of email contact with other walking enthusiasts. After my time trail I got a lovely email describing my first walk and congratulating me on my time: 01h08.56!

As I had been suffering with shin splints post run, it was nice to do something a little less strenuous. The last time I went along the part of the seafront where we had our time trail I was two miles from the end of a half marathon and a small boy was offering me a jelly baby, which I foolishly declined.

Although the Walkactive idea seems to appeal more to women (all the people in my time trail were female and older than me), it is not targeted at either gender or any age. It’s good for those who may have suffered an injury or who want to stay fit but hate working up too much of a sweat.

For more information on Joanna Hall's Walkactive courses and events in Brighton visit www.joannahall.com Listen to The Guy & Andrea Breakfast Show on Brighton’s Juice 107.2 every Monday to Friday from 7am Andrea Fox is on a mission to find a sport that sticks.

What should she try next? comment@thelatest.co.uk

I’ve been writing this column for a while now, and have been very happy to do so. But it’s only now, after regular weekly deadlines and having to write about The Albion without the luxury of having a match to instantly report on, that I can fully appreciate how hard it is to write about a team that appears to be sailing serenely to the title. A nice problem to have, but it got me thinking. No wonder The Football League Show hardly bothers to talk much about The Albion’s success. The media attention shifts elsewhere when one team dominates for as long as The Seagulls have. It has almost become a procession, much like the Premiership years when Manchester United or Chelsea were ticking off the wins until the inevitable title celebrations kicked in. This is what The Albion have been doing by being top of “After the years of League One for six months. (I loved typing that sentence.) pain, we’re simply Everyone is looking the other way because of Brighton’s not used to it” brilliance. Most media – radio, TV, newspapers – need tension, conflict and strife to report when it comes to football. It’s no wonder The Albion appear to have been ushered into the background while other stories are jockeying for media attention. After the years of pain we’re simply not use to it.

Southampton’s surge, Peterborough’s erratic defending and Paul Ince losing the Notts County job are all more “newsworthy” items than “Albion win again”. But maybe that’s just perfect? For those of you who prefer a nerve shredding promotion run-in, who knows, perhaps there is a twist in the tale to come and you’ll love it. But for this correspondent and probably Gus Poyet too, an orderly procession to the Championship and our fabulous new stadium will do very nicely thank you.

ON THE UP

By the time you read this column, it’s possible that The Albion could already have been promoted. But some other results might have to go the way of Gus Poyet and his men to facilitate this. What I will address is the possibility of the promotion push going to the last couple of games of the season, which I am hoping won’t happen (see above). It’s possible that promotion could be secured in the match against Walsall away or even Dagenham and Redbridge at home. The preference for most fans would be to clasp the prize in a home match, with possibly the Southampton match being the one that secures the League One title.

There is going to be a great excuse to celebrate if (I typed ‘if’ in case the wheels fall off, although it is unlikely) it happens at home on a Saturday. Wherever you are planning to celebrate, if and/or when it happens, let’s hope the people of Brighton and Hove Actually and beyond can join in the celebrations and share in the joy of having a successful local team about to move up, not only in the League, but into our beautiful new stadium. That should sell a few more tickets come 6 August when Albion are likely to play their first game at The Amex. But, I’m getting ahead of myself again here, we’re not there yet. But if, and/or when, the Great Moment happens, let’s make sure we go to town and celebrate these good times.

BRIGHTON TIL I DIE

Brighton Til I Die is on at Theatre Royal Brighton on 27 and 28 July and promises to be a great celebration of all things Albion. Tickets are available from the Theatre Royal box office and at www.ambassadortickets.com

010_LS521_interview_011_LS466_interview 08/04/2011 09:13 Page 2

10

L7 INTERVIEW

COOKING WITH GAS Comic, cook, journalist, Hardeep Singh Kohli has many strings to his bow, but cooking live on stage while entertaining at the same time? Victoria Nangle finds out more

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unner-up in the first year of Celebrity Masterchef, Hardeep Singh Kohli has a passion for food that led to the comedian and raconteur heading two more shows on the UK Food network. His dry Glaswegian tones and Sikh heritage come together, delivering a mix of delicious aromas and fabulous punchlines as the Newsnight Review, Question Time and This Week regular holds his audience enthralled. But what should we expect from such a show? And will we get to eat it at the end?

So how would you describe the show in your own words?

It's a combination of popping round to somebody's house for dinner and a chat really. Cooking and chatting and eating at the end hopefully.

Do you feed everybody?

No not everybody, I just send 30 or 40 plates into the audience.

So everyone gets a taste...

Well hopefully there will be more than 30 or 40 people there, but yes that’s the idea.

You do so many different jobs. What does it say on your passport?

Umm, available for work? Actually, I kinda understand what you're saying, but I only really do one thing in lots of different ways, which is telling stories. So when I’m telling stories on telly, radio, papers, books, on stage, it’s still just stories I’m telling, and make people think. So although there’s lots of different outlooks for it, it’s basically the same thing. I’m not really that talented, I can only do one thing.

You do research other stories, like your pieces on belief and on gambling for the press. Do you look into new stories that haven’t been told before?

Yeah, but always to communicate with other people, do you know what I mean? In a way it doesn’t really matter how you communicate the stuff, as long as you are communicating. As long as you are engaging with people and interacting with people. And that’s sort of my passion. People are my passion. That's what’s so nice about the live shows. Although it's lovely working in television, and the radio, in the live shows you sort of get to meet the people who have chartered and followed your career. And have given a night up to hear you prattle on!

Have you always loved food?

Yeah pretty much. Yeah.

What’s your favourite comfort food?

You're asking me to pick a favourite vital organ...

Um... it can be soup, it can be a sandwich, it can be a curry, haggis, you know, different moods, different foods.

What do you eat if you've got the flu?

I tend not to eat actually if I’ve got the flu... but when I’m a bit poorly, fried eggs Indian style with tomatoes and chilli and coriander, on toast, and beans.

If every night you’re setting off and cooking on stage and then packing up, how logistically do you manage that?

I’ve got a brilliant tour manager called Annie Callum, without her I mean nothing. She’s just brilliant at her job, and is incredibly supportive.

The funny thing that happens is I’ll be on the road for a few nights, I’ll then come home with a bit of beef to cook or a bit of lamb, and then realise that the stuff I thought I had in my kitchen at home is actually in my kitchen on stage.

“When I’m a bit poorly I eat fried eggs, Indian style, with tomatoes and chilli and coriander, on toast, and beans” Does it ever feel like camping if you’re setting up, cooking it and staying somewhere new every night?

No, it doesn’t actually. It doesn't because it’s a pretty cool kitchen that gets set up, and I can cook two main courses and rice on stage so you know, it’s not. It seems pretty good actually.

Do you still watch Masterchef?

No I can’t watch it. It’s really sad but I miss my time off.

I was watching the new series at the start of it and it feels like a love affair. This feels like a love affair with food...

Yes, like Nigella’s food porn, yeah, you can understand what I’m saying. And there’s nothing wrong with food porn. I think we all enjoy it, as long as we do it within reason.

You've got your live shows all over the place, and with all these elements of your live shows, have you had any offscript adventures?

Every night, every night. I mean I nearly burnt one of the handles of my pans off boiling something because I get too involved chatting to the audience. And then things were overflowing and stuff, so yeah nothing too disastrous but it’s... it’s live. In front of the audience, nothing is prepared before they come, so everything happens in the moment and I think they like that.

Because they feel involved and can go ‘oh that pot’s boiling over’ or ‘what you doing now?’ Sometimes I just change things on the night because I fancy it, and I’ll have a little chat with them after and if they want me to put apricots in the chicken curry...

Hardeep Singh Kohli: The Nearly Naked Chef, Ropetackle Centre, Shoreham-by-Sea, Friday 15 April, £15, 8pm, 01273 464440, www.ropetacklecentre.co.uk

011_LS521_Run Brighton_editorial 07/04/2011 12:50 Page 1

Personal best Set new goals & keep active with help from the recently launched RunBrighton website

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unning is increasingly popular in Brighton and Hove. Where else do you get to run along the glorious seafront stretch or explore the Sussex Downs and countryside? We really are spoilt for choice. The benefits to your lifestyle and health are numerous too, and with everyone feeling the pinch, running is a low-cost sport to take part in.

With the success of Brighton Marathon firmly in place in its second year, more of us are inspired to run. But where do you start and how do you maintain your goals?

RunBrighton.com is a newly launched website that offers support and keeps you updated with ‘everything running in Brighton’. Today, not only are there more runners than ever before, but more events too, plus an ever-expanding range of services on offer for the running community. This site will put you in touch with many of these.

It’s a site for everyday joggers, marathon runners, and those who just want to dip in and out of this active pastime. The website covers race events, training and product launches. It also offers advice and directory listings for injury prevention and treatment clinics, all based in the Brighton and Hove area.

It can be a daunting thought to go out and run or train on your own, when really there is a whole running community out there to join in with. Brighton has some great athletics and running clubs, which bring you into contact with other people who want to run, so you’ve all got something in common!

Membership is free to become a “RunBrightoneer”. Simply join via the website.

You will receive updates and membership benefits to complement your running. Weekly group runs are planned to start in May so it is an ideal time to sign up. The routes will vary, so you will get to discover new parts of the city and its surrounding area. You will find some routes already on the website, so you can get exploring.

Even Olympic double gold medalists are at it along the seafront. Can you guess who the mystery runner is in the RunBrighton ‘Question of Sorts’ video clip competition? Enter via the website www.runbrighton.com/competition and you could win great prizes from Saucony, Riptide Gym and FitBitch Boot Camp. The competition closes on 15 April 2011 at 6pm, and the unveiling clip will be revealed on the website the following week.

With the excitement and celebration of the second Brighton Marathon (10 April) just settling, you may be thinking about your next race or be taking your first step to achieving your goal. Why not then, get your summer off to a healthy start by signing up for the Saucony Stanmer Park Races? Taking place on Sunday 26 June 2011 in the beautiful grounds of Stanmer Park, this new event has something for everyone including an 8km Trail Run, a 1km Family Run and a series of 2km races for children. If you sign up before 30 April 2011, you will get the discounted early bird entry fee of £5 (children) and £10 (adult) and be entered into a prize draw to win a pair of tickets to the Elton John Concert held on the evening of Sunday 26 June at Hove Cricket Ground. For more information, visit www.stanmerparkraces.co.uk With the Olympics in sight for 2012, could this be the year you fulfill you dream of running a marathon and beating your current personal best time? The Brighton Marathon 2012 entries have just launched on their website www.brightonmarathon.co.uk. Last year, entries sold out just four weeks after launching, so don’t delay. Numbers have increased to 20,000 as the event goes from strength to strength.

Follow the RunBrighton blog on http://runbrighton.blogspot.com/ RunBrighton: 01273 201268, info@runbrighton.com

“With the excitement and celebration of the second Brighton Marathon just settling, you may already be thinking about your next race”

COVER FEATURE

11

012_LS521_Bare Cheek/comps_000_LS467_cheeky/stars 08/04/2011 14:46 Page 2

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Brighton street names explained NORTH STREET Named after Iran-contra superstar Colonel Oliver North.

EAST STREET The first production of the Steven Berkoff play of the same name was on this street in 1975.

TIDY STREET Named after cartoonist Bill Tidy. An extremely small statue of Tidy stood on the street between 1963 and 1972.

ostrich beasts would frolic happily in the greenery, but unfortunately were humanely destroyed by the council in 1981.

In & Out SPECIAL “DEAD COLUMNISTS” EDITION

M

• Keith Waterhouse • Marjorie Proops • Nigel Dempster • Claire Rayner • Anthony Howard

Out • Woodrow Wyatt • John Junor • Jean Rook • Bill Deedes • Bernard Levin

Mad Matt Matt Whistler’s open & shut case

In

8

Brighton and Hove is particularly renowned for its whimsical and unusual street names – like Blatchington Road, Howard Place, and Elm Grove, but where do they come from?

Bare Cheek provides illumination...

8

12 ONLY JOKING!

WORDSWORTH STREET Named after the dog on Jamie And The Magic Torch. what is now Costa Coffee before decamping to Jamaica to pen the rest.

MANOR WAY Originally named “To The Manor Born Way”, after the popular 1970s sitcom, the name was shortened in 1995. Was nearly called “Oh No It's Selwyn Frogitt Way.”

PASTON PLACE Originally “Pass It On Place”, after the schoolchild's obnoxious recitation, e.g. “Mark Goucher has nits. Pass it on”, which was pioneered here in 1829.

DAWSON TERRACE Named in honour of briefly-popular '90s phenomenon Dawson’s Creek, a ten-second dream sequence for which was filmed here in 1998.

What we used to say

CLIFTON GARDENS Once host to several wild Bernie Cliftons. The half man-half

BOND STREET Ian Fleming wrote the first word (“The”) of Casino Royale in a flat above

SHIP STREET Ship Street is named after a ship.

An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the

att’s latest World Record attempt? The longest distance travelled on a train – in a suitcase. After finding out this week’s challenge, set by Anna Marchbent from Hove, Matt’s sidekick Sassy Mystique packed him away and set off on a trip to Hassocks.

Fitting Matt into the case was the least of their problems as sniffer dogs set upon the case as they arrived at Brighton Station. Matt threw them his lunch, giving the pair enough time to make it through the barriers.

On the train Matt began to understand the problems of travelling compactly: “As we reached Preston Park, I couldn’t hold my legs in anymore. I shouted ‘CRAAAAMP’ and as my leg flew out the case I heard two girls scream.”

It was a strange trip, but Matt and Sassy had set a new record, but the drama didn’t end there... “Sassy offered me a cream bun to celebrate the record, but as it came through the top of the case it slipped and splattered over my face. At least nobody could see the state of me!”

Set Matt’s next challenge at: www.facebook.com/latest7 or www.facebook.com/mattwhistlerbrighton Words: Richard Hook

WHAT WE SAY NOW: “On a day-to-day basis”

the notion that he or she, despite evidence to the contrary, actually has some strategy or game plan. “We will be examining this issue on a day-to-day basis.”

Political phrase used by any official seeking to put over

WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Daily”

once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of Americanisms.

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! BIRDS OF A FEATHER ON DVD

COMPETITIONS THE CIRCUS OF HORRORS The Circus Of Horrors returns to Brighton Fringe Festival with a specially designed show, The Carnival Of The Bizarre, from Tuesday 10 to Sunday 22 May in the Sabai Pavilion. The freaky element includes the Royal Family of Freaks, led by the undead Ringmaster Doktor Haze with Captain Dan, the demon dwarf, The Sword Swallowing of Hannibal Helmurto and the legend Garry Stretch. The Circus element comes from the flying and revolving Reverend, The Bizarre Divas – The Slice Girls, Anastasia IV, a girl who emerges from a bottle, blade walking and the limbo dancing Voodoo acrobats. Get your freak on and win one of five pairs of tickets.

Ages 16+ only.

Q Which elephant ran off to join the circus?

NATIONAL GOLF SHOW

The National Golf Show (www.nationalgolfshow.com) takes place at the Birmingham NEC from 15–17 April and promises golfers of all ages a great day out packed with entertaining features including the chance to have your photo taken with the Ryder Cup. The new golfing extravaganza aims to offer golfers more new products and interactivity than any previous event. A strong focus on visitor participation will mean golfers are greeted by a host of opportunities to swing a club, with free tuition from fully qualified coaches and kids can learn from the best with the Lee Westwood Golf Academy free training sessions. Win one of 10 pairs of tickets to a truly ace event.

Q ‘Bogey’ is associated with which sport?

It’s time to welcome everyone’s favourite Essex girls – back on DVD for their ninth and final series. The chirpy Chigwellers are still getting through a catalogue of misadventures: Tracey’s up the duff, Dorien’s new relationship is proving tricky, Garth’s abandoned his pregnant girlfriend Kimberly, and Sharon’s befriended a ghost called ‘Smim’. And to top it off a trip to Ireland proves to be an enlightening experience.

Q Who plays Sharon in Birds Of A Feather?

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,

EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email.

Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 25 April, apart from the National Golf Show which is Friday 15 April.

013_LS521_cityspeak_Editorial 08/04/2011 11:13 Page 1

CITY SPEAK

Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw falls foul of the Olympic trials

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13

Teen Spirit Tasha Dhanraj takes the biscuit for good deeds

M

y cat is sitting across For me, the worst part was how my chest as I am trying much water they make you drink. to type. I think this is I don’t like the process of drinking, because he knows what a good but unfortunately I dislike the person I am. On Thursday of this thought of dying more, which is week I gave blood. Charlie Sheen basically the only reason I ever might have tiger blood, but now down bottles of Evian. The blood someone else has got Dhanraj collectors force you to drink loads. blood, which I think is probably I spent the entirety of the donation more useful to them on an desperately needing the toilet. operating table. Or maybe I’m I forced my boyfriend to give wrong. Maybe tigers are all part blood on Saturday. I had ranted of the blood group onto him about how AB and therefore it was surprisingly indispensable “I was surprised not painful and members of the how easy it was, at how small and so when he National Blood Service. complained about pathetic the Anyway, yes I it hurting it looked gave blood. I’ve been like I was just needle was” meaning to for really hardcore. months but after my Annoyingly he’s glandular fever I had to wait for beaten me to donating on the ages to make sure I wasn’t going to Bone Marrow Registry, so he’s be a risk. The best part was currently parading around acting definitely the biscuits at the end – morally superior.

I got bourbons which I think means Lots of people aren’t blood I gave the best blood that day. donors and even more aren’t bone My mum said that the worst bit marrow donors, often because of is when they put the needle in your the hassle, the pain, the idea of arm but that didn’t bother me at being listed... The reason I am all. If anything I was surprised at registered is that I genuinely feel how small and pathetic the needle that as I am able to give, I have a was. I wanted some five moral obligation to. If anyone I centimetres in diameter tube that cared about needed a donation of they were going to rip open my arm any kind, someone not doing it to insert in and then watch as the because it was ‘an inconvenience’ thick red liquid cascaded down like wouldn’t be an adequate excuse some twisted version of the log for me. That, and I do love a flume at Thorpe Park. bourbon biscuit.

William Tells

through the whole thing with my knees clamped together like a sexually repressed governess in a Henry James novel.

“You’re doing very well,” says the dentist, as blood starts to fly. She motions to Igor. “Will you crank it up a bit please?”

What exactly it is that needs to be cranked up I don’t know. In fact, I don’t want to know. If it were a giant lightning rod poking through the roof of the dental hospital, I wouldn’t be surprised. I’ve always wondered why people make such a carry on about going to the dentist, and now I know. It’s not the pain (thanks to the local, I remain blissfully numb throughout). It’s more the unpleasant sensation of being flat on your back while a total stranger has their hands in your mouth, and is offering you such gems of information as, “Don’t panic but you’re about to hear a crack.”

Will Harris pays a nightmarish visit to the dentist

“A

nd what are we doing to you today, Mr Harris?” asks the dentist, who is smiling one of those big white smiles that dentists always have. From my position on the mechanical chair, it looks like she is about to eat me.

“Um...” I crane to try and get a better look at my notes. “I’m supposed to have a wisdom tooth removed. Doesn’t it say?

Bottom set, right hand side. My right, I mean. So your left...”

“I’ll need a long needle please,” she tells the nurse, who has an Eastern Bloc accent and one eyebrow (when she bent over to put my safety goggles on, I could’ve sworn her name badge read Igor). “Let’s try two per cent xylocaine with 20ml adrenaline for starters.”

Adrenaline, I want to tell her, will not be a problem.

This is my first ever surgical procedure and I’ve been running on the stuff ever since I slept through my alarm this morning, woke up and realised I had half an hour to get to the hospital. The ensuing mad dash through the streets saw me arrive just in time, but without breakfast, without a shower, and with – I soon realised from the horrified expression of a young mother in the waiting room – a large hole in the crotch of my jeans.

This is not ideal. Now not only do I face the prospect of invasive surgery, I’ll have to sit

“When she bent over to put my safety goggles on, I could’ve sworn her name badge read Igor” Fortunately, by the time it’s over, the anaesthetic has kicked in to such an extent that I’m largely off my tits anyway. This feels reassuring, like revisiting my early 20s. So off I lurch down the ward, unwashed, unsteady, hair sticking out in every direction, tears in my clothes, blood dribbling down my chin, and groaning. That’s the NHS for you, I suppose. I only went in to have a tooth out, and I’ve come out as the living dead. follow me on twitter

latestwill

Illustration: Paul Lewis www.pointlessrhino.com

ust when I think I am not I managed to register myself for completely technology Olympic tickets last year and I illiterate, my computer decides made sure all my friends were to give me a reminder that I’m only aware of this. “Oh,” I would say kidding myself. I was congratulating airily. “It was quite easy. I’ll book myself the other day on how clever I tickets for you, if you like.” was to log on to my bank account Not surprisingly, my computer and not have to trail into town to was not going to let me get away shift money around, when the site with such arrogance. When I tried to said it had no recognition at all of log on to the Olympic site after 13 my pass codes. It is enough for me March I was told that I was using to reflect on what a drag it used to the wrong pin number. I was sure I be to have to find a local shop with had the correct one. I tried once a photocopier more and again every time I was informed I wanted to copy an was incorrect. I invoice, for my tried the only “I was then told printer to go into other one it could very severely in meltdown, be and was then accompanied by told very severely big red letters horrible ripping in big red letters noises. Actually I that my account that my account am amazed it ever was locked. The recovered from its was locked” only way to get it accident during unlocked was to the Big Bedroom apply for a new Redecoration. I pin number. This I had to keep moving my computer in did and while waiting to receive it and out of the room and once I by email poured myself a stiff gin forgot that the printer was attached and tonic. and resting on the spare bed. It Using my new number I applied crashed to the ground and I nearly again, only to be told my account didn’t bother to switch it on again. was locked and I needed a new Unbelievably, when I gave it my number. Gritting my teeth I applied customary treatment for dealing again only to be told I had already with anything electrical which is been given one in the last 24 hours misbehaving – switching it off, and could not have another one. At taking every possible plug out, this point I screamed and went to leaving it for a day and then giving bed. Who wants to go to the it a little kick – it worked perfectly.

Olympics anyway...

014_LS521_snapshots_Editorial 06/04/2011 11:41 Page 2

14 SNAP SHOTS

Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: the Walk Of Fame’s Manon Courtney

“

It has been an absolute pleasure working with all the interesting people involved in the preparation for the Walk Of Fame at Bristol Zoo Gardens. The zoo, which was the set of the TV series Animal Magic in the 60s, is also celebrating its 175th birthday. Our next venture is going to be the London Walk Of Fame at the Stables Market in Camden. This one will be dedicated to musicians only, including holograms of various artists, a recording studio, rehearsal rooms and a stage for live bands.

”

Manon Courtney, pictured here at the Brighton Sealife Centre, is the director of the Brighton Walk of Fame (Brighton Marina), a project that is now being replicated in Bristol and London. The Bristol Zoo Walk of Fame will be launched on 14 April with 49 plaques bearing the names of the city's most famous representatives from the historic, creative, sporting and wildlife spectrum, as voted by the people of Bristol. Star names include Cary Grant, John Cleese, James May and Johnny Ball (our very own Zoe Ball’s dad). www.walkoffame.co.uk

Brighton’s music venue Chris Difford, Amy Winehouse, The Kooks have all played here. Paul McCartney, and Katie Price have been in the audience (though not together!)

NEW!!

Get your band to play here by ringing 01273 687171 and ask for Jeff or email music@thelatest.co.uk

We can now film your whole show in high definition and give you a mixed audio album and DVD to take away with you at amazing introductory prices. We are the first venue in the UK to offer this.

015_LS521_celebcity_Celebcity 08/04/2011 08:59 Page 1

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CELEBCITY

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Patsy Palmer takes part in charity quiz show, Renee Zellweger gets a pedicure, Elbow dine at Dermot’s

Celeb mum in a million

B

Dining upstairs at Dermot O’Leary’s Brighton restaurant Fishy Fishy were none other than members of Elbow ahead of their show at the Brighton Centre. Fans dining downstairs were in a rush to finish their food to get to the concert, but were told there was no hurry because the band were still eating their meal upstairs!

SPOTTE

D!

Press Gang walking pa actor Lee Ross, st My Hotel on Street. He also appear Jubilee ed in one of my all-t ime Mike Lee’s favourite films, Secrets An d Lies.

ART’S UNREST

It’s been a packed week for JBPR, which included us helping out on an art stunt that took place in London. We are currently working with new Soho based gallery Pertwee Anderson and Gold. Their latest show features the work of concept artist Nancy Fouts.

Nancy, who is from the US, takes everyday objects and mixes them with taxidermy and something we all love: humour. To act as a teaser for her new show, D! Un-think, Nancy came up with the idea of driving a SPOTTE er hearse around central London with floral tributes in nee Zellwegst Re ss tre ac Hollywood pneys city spa in Ea ure both windows spelling out the word ‘bastard’. As you was in Cham having a luxury pedic t 7 n, tes to can imagine, it drew double takes from whoever it Street, Brigh4 April. Thanks to the Laone to ay iPh nd eir th on Mo passed. It even broke down in Piccadilly Circus spa was quick on reader who top celeb sighting. The s of causing absolute bedlam. See the clip on YouTube at bring us this cting quite a few celeb one tra has been at few weeks back, Boyz s http://bit.ly/dQKqFv late: just a for relaxing massage by stopped their Brighton show.

Nancy Fouts’ Un-think is open now. ahead of See www.pertweeandersongold.com

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

follow me on twitter

latestcelebcity

10% service will be added.

Valid Sunday through to Thursday until end of May 2011 excluding Easter Sunday and bank holidays.

Only one voucher per table.

Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

Image: Simon Anderson

righton’s soap star resident Patsy Palmer and her eldest son Charley (19) appeared on the Mother’s Day celebrity edition of hit quiz show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. Patsy and Charley’s chosen charity was CLIC Sargent, of which Patsy is an active patron. The charity does an amazing job supporting children with cancer in the UK. If you wish to donate to add to £10,000 that Patsy and Charley liberated from Chris Tarrant’s cheque book, log on to www.clicsargent.org.uk The mother and son team were joined on the Mother’s Day edition by comedian David Walliams and his mother Kathleen, and X Factor finalist, Olly Murs with his mother, Vicky. Ahhh.

SPOTTED!

016_021_LS521_Art Feature_editorial 07/04/2011 15:38 Page 1

16

ART SPECIAL

016_021_LS521_Art Feature_editorial 08/04/2011 12:44 Page 2

ART SPECIAL

Masters of art Find the perfect piece of artwork for your home & garden with our special guide to some of the best galleries in the city

T

he city of Brighton and Hove continues to be a haven for art lovers and practitioners. Galleries are literally popping up everywhere, and many cafés, restaurants, shops and hotels are opening their doors to exhibitors. While established galleries such as The First Light Gallery are celebrating their 30th year in operation, newer establishments such as New Steine Bistro and The Lanes Gallery have recently opened their doors to quality art. Moreover, the reputable photography gallery Crane Kalman, and the long established Naked Eye Gallery have adapted to the changing economic environment by going online (Crane Kalman) or moving venue (Naked Eye).

For truly cutting edge art, artrepublic is the place to see and purchase work by the likes of Banksy, Sir Peter Blake and local artists including Ben Allen. Meanwhile, the classic art of the major exhibition Radical Bloomsbury: The Art of Duncan Grant and Vanessa Bell, is at Brighton Museum and Art Gallery. Big Art has joined forces with Lonely Planet Images to offer travel-inspired pictures, while art at five makes it easy to acquire original artwork. And art doesn’t just have to be for indoors: Driftline offers coastal-inspired pieces that will look perfect in any Brighton home or garden. The collection by Steyning based Robin Johnson is derived from reclaimed groynes and sea defences, combined with natural materials such as pebbles and slates. These make a bold statement and a great focal point in any garden or outside space (www.driftline.co.uk).

Although the Artists Open Houses, Brighton Festival and the Brighton Festival Fringe are just around the corner in May, the city is an all-year round place to enjoy art, whether it’s new, contemporary fine art, prints and photography, or the work of past masters...

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artrepublic The artrepublic gallery in Bond Street, Brighton, features hundreds of the finest limited edition art prints from both cuttingedge and established artists. They offer art to suit every taste and pocket, including sensational signed limited editions from Damien Hirst, Banksy and Sir Peter Blake, plus the finest works by much in-demand local artists including Ben Allen, Alex Dipple and Hutch.

Their helpful staff are on hand to offer all the help and advice you need including adding the perfect frame to present and preserve your chosen art. An expert framing Ben Allen: Union Jack Skull service is also available for your own works of art; simply bring your piece to the gallery for a quote.

Discover the art world online too at their huge website www.artrepublic.com.

They’ve thousands of prints available to purchase, the latest news from the art world and gallery exhibition reviews all at the touch of a button. artrepublic, 13 Bond Street, Brighton, BN1 1RD, 01273 724829, brighton@artrepublic.com, www.artrepublic.com

Peter Blake: I Love You

art at five

Poppy Cyster: A Wink and a Whisper

art at five is situated in the heart of Brighton. The gallery offers a diverse and inspiring selection of contemporary art by local, national and international artists. Their aim is to make acquiring original art an easy and enjoyable experience in a friendly and informal environment.

Whether buying for your home, office, or a gift, the experienced and professional staff are able to offer practical and creative advice on choosing and placing artwork. They also offer a free consultancy service, bringing a tailored selection of work to you to view in situ. art at five is an established member of Own Art, Arts Council England’s interest free loan scheme. The scheme is designed to make it easy and affordable for everyone to acquire contemporary works of art. art at five, 5 Bartholomews, Brighton, BN1 1HG, 01273 774222, www.artatfive.com, open Mon–Sat 10am–6pm and Sun 11am–5pm.

Yvonne Coomber: Wild Gypsy Dreams

©Lonely Planet Images, Hindu Dancers, Bali, Paul Kennedy. Available as a canvas or framed print from bigartcanvas.com

©Lonely Planet Images, Maori Dancer, Phil Weymouth. Available at bigartcanvas.com

Big Art David and Donna at Big Art, 73 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, are proud to be the new Global Image Partners with Lonely Planet Images and now offer over 14,000 inspiring travel photographs onto canvas or in frames. Their updated website bigartcanvas.com also showcases 120 Brighton pictures gathered by photographer David as well as an enormous range of fine art prints, street art and illustrations.

Now you can re-create that sense of calm or vibrant colour experienced on your travels by complementing your home or office with beautiful travel images that hold amazing memories. Whether you choose a serene landscape or bright festival, portrait or wildlife image, the search facility helps you find exactly what you love about the world!

With over eight years’ experience, vibrant giclée colour fast inks and friendly service, happy customers keep returning to buy picture gifts, vouchers or to enlarge their own photos.

Special introductory offer: 30 per cent off Lonely Planet canvases – enter online code L7LP070511. Offer ends 07/05/11 Big Art, 73 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4EB, 01273 606044, www.bigartcanvas.com, open Mon–Sat 10am–5pm

016_021_LS521_Art Feature_editorial 07/04/2011 15:38 Page 3

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ART SPECIAL

016_021_LS521_Art Feature_editorial 08/04/2011 12:45 Page 4

ART SPECIAL Jeff Liao: Luna Park

Crane Kalman Crane Kalman Brighton is a gallery specialising in modern and contemporary photography from established international names to up-and-coming talent, including showcases of the best of graduate photography from Slim Aarons: Poolside Gossip around the country and archive collections of the 20th century’s most iconic imagery.

Having been located in Kensington Gardens in the North Laine for the last six years, the gallery is currently operating online only. The gallery is looking for a permanent new space, but will be holding temporary, pop-up exhibitions over the next few months. Exhibitions and new work will also be featured online, and if you would like to receive information about forthcoming events, then visit the website – www.cranekalmanbrighton.com – and leave your details in the Mailing List section for news updates.

Accessible and collectible, the market for photography is very much growing, and Crane Kalman Brighton has been established to provide an affordable introduction to anyone interested to buy, and possibly, collect photography.

Crane Kalman Brighton, 01273 697096, www.cranekalmanbrighton.com

The First Light Gallery The First Light Gallery in Nile Street in The Lanes recently celebrated their 30th anniversary.

They continue to exhibit innovative images of not only Brighton, but also around the world, either as sealed bloc-mounted prints (first floor gallery) or as archival exhibition quality framed images over two floors. Services include printing of customers’ own images onto block, and also the design and printing of mood boards.

The First Light Image Library continues to supply British Airways (club class cabins) and American Express (platinum card holders) with images for interior display and advertising.

New services include web design and the creation of website elements like photography, video, audio and graphics, all created in house at First Light.

The First Light one day course called ‘Photography and the Creative Mind’ is now available to book (£75) and includes an exhibition quality print of your own work to take home.

The First Light Gallery, 3 Nile Street, The Lanes, Brighton, 01273 327344, www.firstlightclick.com, info@firstlightclick.com

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Naked Eye Gallery From its stunning brand new gallery space in Farm Mews, Naked Eye Gallery presents an eclectic collection of rare and new signed prints from national and international artists Sophie Coryndon, Gill Del Mace, Pam Glew, Gerald Laing, David Larwill, Henrik Simonsen and John Simpson.

These specially selected works show a varied and diverse collection of imagery from floral to fauna and fantasy to foxes. With prices starting from a reasonable £90, who says you can’t begin your own art portfolio or add to your existing collection? The original print market is still growing much stronger as people recognise the value of what they can purchase for a relatively small amount.

The Naked Eye Gallery also offers their own expert bespoke framing service on the premises. Whether it is your own work you would like framed, or a piece from the gallery, you can be sure that with the years of experience and expertise at Naked Eye they will offer you good advice on selecting the perfect frame.

Visit Naked Eye during April if you want to see some great prints and have the chance to buy a key piece of art.

Naked Eye Gallery, 5 Farm Mews, Farm Road, Hove, BN3 1GH, 01273 204800, www.nakedeyebrighton.com

New Steine Bistro New Steine Bistro has long been known for its regular art exhibitions and is now recognised as both a restaurant as well as an art gallery. A new exhibition is usually held every eight to ten weeks, the work of which is always selected by proprietor, Hervé Guyat.

This unusual addition of a quality restaurant – a quirky, authentic French Bistro, providing delicious evening meals – is a rarity for smaller hotels in Brighton.

Concentrating on homemade French cuisine, using top local produce exquisitely cooked by their chef, the Bistro has gained a reputation for fine dining in cozy surroundings, along with the private dining room.

It is also well known for its regular events programme. Proprietor Hervé Guyat’s passion for art as well as food and fun comes across through every experience at the New Steine Hotel, from its décor to its excellent cuisine. He urges you to come and try it, as you won’t regret it!

The New Steine Hotel & Bistro is always looking for new artists to exhibit and encourages artists to contact Hervé Guyat if they wish to showcase their work in the Bistro.

New Steine Bistro, 10–11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB UK, 01273 681546, www.newsteinehotel.com

016_021_LS521_Art Feature_editorial 08/04/2011 12:46 Page 5

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ART SPECIAL

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Radical Bloomsbury: The Art of Duncan Grant and Vanessa Bell, 1905–1925, is the major exhibition at Brighton Museum & Art Gallery for 2011. It will re-evaluate the unique artistic partnership of Duncan Grant and Vanessa Bell. Exciting paintings and associated material will demonstrate their pioneering contribution to the development of 20th century British art and their relationship with the European avant-garde, especially Picasso and Matisse.

There will be key works from leading national museums and private collectors, including paintings that have rarely been seen in public.

This exhibition runs from 16 April–9 October 2011. See this exhibition for free as a member of the Royal Pavilion Foundation. For just £23 per year, you can enjoy free entry to the Royal Pavilion, Preston Manor and exhibitions at Brighton Museum, Hove Museum and the Booth Museum, as well as exclusive members’ events and private views. To join, visit: www.pavilionfoundation.org or call Abigail Dennison on 01273 292789.

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, Royal Pavilion Gardens, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1EE, www.brighton-hove-rpml.org.uk

THE LANES GALLERY Packed with a covetable and electric selection of paintings, prints, sculpture, ceramics, handmade jewellery and unique crafty products, The Lanes Gallery is a friendly and welcoming venue. It’s the perfect place to find high quality work at affordable prices. Artists are selected for their originality, technical expertise and quality of their work.

They are also running a solo exhibition for Amelia Humba in May. The Lanes Gallery, 32 Meeting House Lane, Brighton BN1 1HB, 01273 734347, www.thelanesgallery.co.uk

• FREE unlimited entry to the Royal Pavilion and Preston Manor • FREE entry to Museum exhibitions • Private views • Exclusive events programme • 10% discount in Museum and Royal Pavilion shops

A great offer

• FREE entry to Museum exhibitions:

Become a member for only £23 a year

• Radical Bloomsbury: the art of Duncan Grant

• Dress for Excess: Regency Fashion at The Royal Pavilion and Vanessa Bell at Brighton Museum

Exclusive offer

Join today and get a FREE Royal Pavilion Souvenir Guide Book!

Just quote LATEST

Your support is Our future Call 01273 292789 to join

royalpavilion.org

016_021_LS521_Art Feature_editorial 08/04/2011 11:22 Page 6

ART SPECIAL

Coastal inspired creations for home and garden

Contact: Robin Johnson Tel: 07584 551967 www.driftline.co.uk

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022_LS521_hotlist_Hotlist 07/04/2011 12:47 Page 2

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HOTLIST quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order.

48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk American Rock & Roller

Enjoy fabulous American-inspired food – including mammoth home-made burgers (beef, chicken and vegetarian), locally smoked ribs and sizzling steaks – at Rock & Roller.

Upstairs you’ll find an entire floor dedicated to pool, with five tables to choose from. Join the Pool Loyalty Scheme – play nine hours and get a tenth hour free.

95 Western Rd, Brighton, BN1 2LB, 01273 710014, www.rock8roller.co.uk

British & modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials.

Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

The Dyke

Superb rustic Tuscan menu mingled with English classics. Locally sourced or organic ingredients and rapidly gaining a reputation as one of Brighton’s most stylish eateries. One side is a proper pub with excellent real ales and log fire; the other a very grown-up stylish restaurant. It’s very child (and dog!) friendly too, and has a big garden for those late summer evenings. Lunch 12pm–3pm; dinner 6.30pm–9.45pm.

218 Dyke Road, Brighton, 01273 555672, www.dykepub.co.uk

The Gallery Restaurant – The Lanes If you’re looking for an independent restaurant offering some of the very best steaks and British dishes then why not try The Gallery Restaurant? Located in an old fishing cottage in the very heart of Brighton’s Lanes The Gallery Restaurant prides itself in offering the very best dishes, service and ambience – British style! In the summer they boast one one Brighton’s largest alfresco terraces but in the winter the mood is relaxed and welcoming. Try the lunch two-course menu for just £9.95 and the evening menu two-course menu for £13.95.

28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL 01273 773327, www.thegallerybrighton.co.uk

The Lamb Inn

The Lamb Inn at Ripe is a 350-year-old quintessential english country coach house inn offering a full home cooked classic pub food menu to enjoy in front of an inglenook fire. The pub has been refurbished to include three bed and breakfast rooms, games room and beer garden. A quiet and relaxing getaway in the heart of the South Downs National Park.

Church Lane, Ripe, near Lewes, BN8 6AS, 01323 811810, www.thelamb-ripe.co.uk

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting.

Locally-owned and aiming to be the ‘Cheers’ of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank is a rarity in the city, offering quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list, selected mainly from local merchants by GQ wine columnist Jonathan Ray, complements their wholesome and satisfying food. Kids’ menu great value. Open Mon–Thurs, 5pm–9.30pm; Fri–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm.

120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200, www.oldbankkemptownbrighton.com

The Restaurant At Drakes

With an air of relaxed glamour, exemplary service and the finest modern European cuisine in town, the 2AA Rosette fine-dining restaurant provides the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Two courses for £29; three courses for £39; fivecourse Gourmet Chef’s Taster Menu for £50.

Private dining room with designated waiter for up to 12 people.

43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

The Townhouse Restaurant

The Townhouse is discovering itself as a home for all, with a dining area, lounge bar, private function suite and a piano room. The head chef brings all his prestige from The London Dorchester to create a menu (specialising in steaks and seafood) that fits the Brighton way.

Whether you want a quick lunch or wish to stay the evening, they promise you a warm welcome that will make you not want to leave. For promotions visit their website or give them a call.

81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton BN2 1PA, 01273 693216, www.thetownhousekemptown.co.uk

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs.

No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm.

10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Thai The Green Mango

Indian

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and “gin yur yur” (eat a lot!)

8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, www.thegreenmangohove.com

Chaula’s

The Dyke

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches,

FREE RT DESSE

The magic begins at 8pm Prior Table Bookings Only

When you order a 2 course meal or 3 tapas per person with this advert

Gars

We are proudly hosting authentic flamenco Every THURSDAY with the Alahaima Flamenco Group

Enjoy the show!

For all details and or reservations, please contact us.

023_LS521_food__food 08/04/2011 11:02 Page 1

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay finds things not only bigger but better at The Chilli Pickle in Brighton

Na na ni na naan

I

could waste my time here talking about the two restaurants that failed to succeed in MyHotel but what’s the point? I could equally well rattle on about my concerns that this is a huge step for Chilli Pickle, from tiny to huge. I’m not going to do that either.

Here is why. Chilli Pickle is better than ever, and that’s saying something. I loved it when it opened, I loved their lunches, their dinners, the relaxed but efficient service and the pretty interiors. I loved Chilli Pickle from the get go.

In the large new venue they have worked a miracle, breaking down the cavernous and clonky space into intimate dining areas, changing the lighting so that it has a softer look and not that of a school hall and using the open kitchen to actually cook in! They have installed a tandoor right there “Wow! I know, one and all night long the chefs are plunging skewered meat and fish word, wow. Utterly into the fiery furnace and slapping exemplary naans onto the sides. compulsive, crunchy, I went along with an old friend Mr C, who I know enjoys a good sweet, sour, spicy, curry and a good feed. We started salty and then back by checking out a list of great beers and choosing something to crunchy” from Greenwich Meantime Brewery and something from Germany. A plate of poppadoms came with their own selection of pickles including a pineapple one, which even I liked, and a superb lemon and lime.

To start we chose mutton patties, lamb dumplings and fiery squid. The mutton was pounded to a soft paste and served with crisp flat bread with a tamarind sauce and a vibrant herb sauce. The meat had that delicious gamey quality of mutton but the texture of a fine rillette. I loved it. The dumplings filled with lamb were comforting but the mustard seed sauce carried a hefty bite to balance that. Fiery squid does what it says, the shredded squid is stir fried with a huge amount of spice and herbs and is both tender and bouncy in equal parts – a textural delight.

Despite the quantity of spice in each dish, by the time our main course arrived our palates were clean and settled, genius really when you think how many places serving spiced food kill your palate within the first few bites.

Sharing was the order of the day and we both agreed to try the tandoori sea bass and the Hyderabadi chicken. The bass was huge and beautifully presented. The skin rubbed with spice had turned into cracking crackling while inside the flesh remained moist and sweet and simply fell from the bone. More than enough for two, it would be a great dish for four to share, too. It also came with a sweetcorn curry that sounded unusual but tasted

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divine, I love the fact that they serve their dishes with appropriate side dishes so that even solo diners can have a full range of tastes and textures with their meal.

The chicken dish was a pungent biriani topped with half a boiled egg and, once again the spicing was masterful, this time aromatic rather than hot. The heat came on the side with yet another unusual dish, a curry of peanuts and jalapeno peppers. Wow! I know, one word, wow. Utterly compulsive, crunchy, sweet, sour, spicy, salty and then back to crunchy. You have to hand it to the team back in the kitchen, they certainly know what they are doing.

The naan bread – sweet, light and crisp – gets its own paragraph. I have never had naan more delicious. It’s so unlike the usual clod of half raw, half burnt dough that you should all go – if only for these.

We were too full for desserts but too conscientious to skip them. Mr C had a ginger cake served with yoghurt and Griottine cherries and declared it delicious. I had the rose kulfi which came topped with a tiny hot spring roll filled with rose petal jam. I could sit and eat any number of those and at any time. The kulfi was soothing, sweet but not too sweet and delicately floral. A pomegranate ice on the side was less successful as a chef had added a touch too much salt by mistake. They could not have been more apologetic.

We finished with tea and coffee, both great, and a plate of their wickedly sweet sweets, that neither of us needed but still managed to finish off, even if it was a struggle.

Alan and Dawn, the husband and wife behind this gem, have worked hard to build up an audience and by the look of the place on a drab spring Wednesday that audience has grown beyond expectation. Despite the massive increase in size, booking is still a very good idea all week and especially at the weekend. Lunchtimes still offers a very affordable menu, too, that is well worth trying.

The Chilli Pickle, Jubilee Street, East Sussex, BN7 1HS, 01273 900383 Where can you find the best breads in Sussex? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

light bites

Amelie and Friends

I’m always on the look-out for somewhere to get supper before visiting Chichester Festival Theatre so I can’t wait to try this when the new season starts. The Michelin-star awarded West Stoke House closed its doors in December but the husband-and-wife team behind the boutique venue did it at the height of its success, to focus on a new venture better suited to family life.

Their new deli-restaurant, Amelie and Friends, is to open on North Street in the heart of the city. Open for breakfast, brunch, lunch and early dinner (8am7pm), the venue will have a cool, ‘relaxed Antipodean’ vibe.

Offering a fresh, contemporary

menu and barista-made coffee.

Foodies will be greeted by mountains of big fluffy meringues, home-baked breads, pastries and tarts – created by Joel Massey and Mike Abraham, two of the chefs from West Stoke House.

There will also be daily salads, plus hot and cold meats – available to take away or to eat in.

Highlights will include purple sprouting broccoli, chorizo, manchego cheese, rocket, pine nut salad with orange dressing; chicken roasted with hazelnuts and saffron, with tabbouleh salad; braised shoulder of lamb, with root veg, new potatoes and Savoy cabbage; slow cooked Foresthogs rare breed Tamworth pork belly.

Diners will be able to choose from an extensive sit-down menu, including an extensive brunch selection with home-smoked salmon and scrambled eggs likely to be a favourite.

With clean light décor, clothless tables, simple artwork as well as a gazebo-like alfresco experience in the restaurant’s garden, it’s the sort of place that looks good, tastes good and makes you feel good – so much so, you’ve got to go back for more!

Amelie and Friends 31 North Street, Chichester, West Sussex follow me on twitter

latestandrew

024_025_LS521_reviewsbookings_Reviews 08/04/2011 14:24 Page 2

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HEALTH&BEAUTY | REVIEWS

L7 Under review

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Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk

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THE WANTED

6 5

7 8

Thirst aid

The Wanted are an Anglo Irish fivepiece boy band that have come from nowhere over the last year to arrive in the rarified atmosphere occupied by only a handful of boy band juggernauts closing in on the summit of fame. For all their well rehearsed formulae, they have achieved that essential ingredient: an indestructible pact with their

teenage fans. A total loyalty, where their volume of adulation steps in to the gaps the band leave in their songs. It’s a very powerful and gripping alliance. Support Starboy Nathan, Twenty Twenty and Lawson all showed enough talent to belong on the same stage.

Brighton Centre, 1 April JJJJJ Paul Clark

Keep your skin & hair hydrated with our guide to the most refreshing beauty buys 1 Jemma Kidd Hi-Shine Hydrating Gloss-Stick SPF 15 £13, from selected

SpaceNK stores, www.spacenk.com “The hydrating formula with light reflective particles for added fullness left my lips feeling soft. It comes in great shades to see you through spring and summer, plus it has that allimportant SPF to keep lips protected.”

2 Dr Andrew Weil For Origins: Mega Mushroom Face Cream £46,

for stockists: 0800 731 4039, www.origins.co.uk “This is really rich, creamy and hydrating, leaving my skin smooth and supple. It also has a pleasant fragrance without being overpowering. It feels fresh and leaves skin moisturised without feeling greasy and it doesn’t feel like it’s clogging my pores!”

3 Trevor Sorbie Professional Beautifully Moisturised Shampoo & Conditioner

£4.99 each, available from Boots stores and Trevor Sorbie salons. “This left my hair softer than it’s been in years, adding moisture without weighing it down. There is no overwhelming smell from the products either. And it protects hair against heat styling too. A contemporary treat for my hair!”

4 Lush Dream Cream £10.25, available from Lush shops, www.lush.co.uk “This is very thick and has a strong lavender scent so it’s best to apply at night. Aside from that I can’t fault it. With calming chamomile and lavender, this left my skin soft and smooth, which is good considering I suffer from Eczema. This is Lush’s best-selling product and for a very good reason.”

5 Mary Kay Timewise Moisture Renewing Gel Mask £16.50,

www.marykay.co.uk “I applied the light gel generously and enjoyed the deliciously cool refreshing feeling. Being clear, it has the added advantage of not making you appear scary if you walk around the house with it on, unlike other face packs! My skin felt lovely and soft afterwards. I look forward to repeating this again to get the maximum benefit.”

6 The Body Shop Vitamin E Hydrating Toner & Vitamin E Intense Moisture Cream £7 & £11, from The Body Shop stores and www.thebodyshop.co.uk The toner left my skin feeling very refreshed and smooth, plus it contains antioxidant protection. Team it with The Body Shop Vitamin E Intense Moisture Cream, which is luxuriously rich and has a pleasant fresh fragrance. ” 7 The Body Shop Vitamin E Face Mist £7, from The Body Shop stores and www.thebodyshop.co.uk A light, non greasy spray that smells lovely and is very refreshing. It set my make-up in the morning so it lasted all day. By the end of a day in the office my skin had started to feel a little tight in places but a spray of this face mist gave the right amount of moisturisation without feeling heavy, and I didn’t have to reapply my make up. I’ll be keeping it close at hand from now on!”

8 The Body Shop Rainforest Moisture Hair Butter £8, from The Body Shop stores and www.thebodyshop.co.uk “This smells gorgeous, and is lovely and thick, feeling quite indulgent. After leaving it in for the recommended five minutes when I rinsed it out I was a bit concerned that my hair felt quite coarse rather than silky. Once styled though my hair was very shiny and healthy and smelt gorgeous. The downside is the pot is tricky to use in the shower without getting water in it!”

FINAL MOVEMENT JOURNEY’S END, Theatre Royal, Brighton, 4 April JJJJJ

S

eldom is an audience as quiet, as rapt, or as electrified as it was in the Theatre Royal on 4 April. R.C Sherriff could not have known that almost a century later his play would have the same penetrating impact as it had when he wrote it soon after the First World War. But, even the wrapper rustlers were silenced and the normally restless school parties hushed.

David Grindley’s production has a stark quality, the terrible claustrophobic conditions and poor light are shown, the monotony of the diet, and not the shortage of food; officers, it would seem, had decent rations.

In the enforced intimacy of their bunker those officers are playing out the horror of being on the front line, the terror only masked by the forced camaraderie – and whiskey. Commanding officer Stanhope is only 21, his new officer Raleigh merely 18. They have attended the same school and Raleigh hero worships Stanhope who is also engaged to his sister. Not a coincidence – Raleigh has used influence to get to this particular unit. But the impact on Stanhope is awful, a fear that his drinking, and the cowardice that he drinks to disguise, will be spotted and revealed to his family and the men under his command.

Little is done in the play to disguise the horror of that war but far from being anti-war, the play is about the importance of the relationships that the men build in the trenches. None express any doubt as to why they should be fighting, even the terrified accept that they need to be there. What the play shows is the harsh reality of armed warfare, the fact that some will command and some will go over the top. When Stanhope is ordered to mount a raid on the enemy front line, he at first questions his superior officer, knowing that men will inevitably die. But his superior explains that he too is merely carrying out orders.

Journey’s End is a saddening portrayal of a war and the hopelessness of the soldiers’ situation, the inevitability that few would survive the German attacks, the burden of giving orders that will lead to death. It’s also about humanity, man’s ability to comfort and to care, to even rationalise what we know is futile, when we believe or we have been told to believe that there is no other way.

This stunning production, in which not one member of the cast is any less brilliant than another, carries that message with a bravery and gravitas that goes a long way towards explaining the need for the drink, the gallows humour and the stoicism of a group of men forced together, not by class or by social interaction, but by the bloody demands of war.

Andrew Kay

024_025_LS521_reviewsbookings_Reviews 08/04/2011 10:37 Page 3

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 25

L7 Bookings

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

On sale this week…

8

MINKLEY’S NIGHT OF MIRTH

GREG DAVIES – THROWING CHEESEBALLS AT A DOG

Greg Davies brings joy and instant gratification to his show, which is no surprise considering the whole premise of the performance – seizing those times when you’re happily and merrily in the moment. This was one of those moments over an entire hour and a bit. Perhaps with not as much energy as previously seen due to a chest infection he admits to suffering from early on, the stories and joie de vivre still lifted the spirits of every member of that audience.

Instantly likeable, Davies is engaging and his 6’8” frame seems packed with humour. By the end we wanted him as a new best friend – and to feed him honey and lemon.

Theatre Royal Brighton, 4 April JJJJJ Victoria Nangle

Komedia, 26 April, 8pm, £9/7.50, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton Almost a year ago the talented young musician and aspiring comic Oliver Minkley took his own life. This show, featuring the fantastic comic offerings from the brilliant Tom Wrigglesworths, Wil Hodgeson and Michael Fabbri, sees 100 per cent of proceeds going to The Samaritans, a group that helped Oliver so much during his life.

TOP 10

1 Panos Christofi – Satin Doll 2 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know 3 Darby Bilboa – Soundlocker 4 Duke Monorail – Microfilm 5 Kings Of The Wild Front Ear – Up In My Tree Milton Jones

Taking an alternative look at the pantomime slot this year, Spamalot – Monty Python’s musical quest for the Holy Grail – will be taking up residence at the Theatre Royal over the Christmas period.

After a fantastic reception last time the show was in town, we can’t wait for its return.

MILTON JONES – LION WHISPERER

THE GRUFFALO’S CHILD

The stage lighting grew brighter to reveal an atmospheric, minimal set representing the deep, dark wood, in which this adaptation of Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler’s much loved picture book sequel to The Gruffalo would take place. This Tall Stories’ production was fast paced, energetic and thoroughly engaging.

With only three actors, ingenious costumes (a shimmering sequined coat for Snake, and a spiv’s trench coat and trilby for Fox), music and song, the story of the Gruffalo’s Child and his eventual encounter with the Big Bad Mouse unfolded. This production was enjoyed by a near capacity audience of all ages. For many, a fabulous introduction to live musical theatre.

Connaught Theatre, Worthing, 4 April JJJJJ Stephen King

Latest Brighton Download Chart

The Bluetones

THE BLUETONES FAREWELL TOUR

Concorde 2, 7 September, 7.30pm, £16 + booking fee, www.concorde2.co.uk English indie rock legends The Bluetones are one of the most successful bands of their kind.

Throughout their illustrious career they’ve had 13 Top 40 singles and three Top 10 albums. They’re setting off for their final farewell tour and have made sure their visit to Concorde2 is, as ever, one not to miss.

MONTY PYTHON’S SPAMALOT

Theatre Royal, Brighton, 15 December–14 January 2012, £tbc, 0844 871 7650, www.ambassadortickets.com /brighton

Wil Hodgeson

Theatre Royal, Brighton, 15 May, £tbc, 0844 871 7650, www.ambassadortickets.com /brighton Milton’s recently announced tour is hitting Brighton mid-festival time, but it’s a treat not to be lost among the deluge of listings.

Winner this year of industry award Chortle’s best Headliner gong, after being nominated for it the previous two years too, this whimsical surrealist is not to be underestimated. Show stealing.

LIVE SUGGS!

Theatre Royal, Brighton, 31 May, £tbc, 0844 871 7650, www.ambassadortickets.com /brighton Part music, part personal vision, part music hall extravaganza. It’s a hilarious and sometimes sad story.

The riotous mishaps of a life Mr Suggs can still not quite believe is happening to him. Join the Madness frontman.

6 Light-Fingered Folk – One Of These Days 7 Boa Marks – Merchandised Eyes 8 Lolatwist – Pretty 9 The Bardo – To Be Free 10 Freudstein – Sister Sleaze After taking both the gold and silver positions in last week’s chart rundown, it’s another perfect double strike for versatile electro-pop singer-songwriter Pano Christofi with ‘Satin Doll’ and ‘I’ll Never Know’ taking positions one and two respectively this week. Taking this week’s third place we have the atmospheric trip-hop infused production values of Darby Bilboa’s ‘Soundlocker’ as the quality eight bit soundscapes of Duke Monorail’s ‘Microfilm’ climbs to take the number four spot. Completing this week’s rundown and just in time for the welcome onset of some warmer weather, we have the sun-drenched, none-more-laid-back psyche-folk of the Kings Of The Wild Front Ear’s ‘Up In My Tree’ taking five.

11White Star Liners Tyre Pressure Was The Least...

12 Kontrapunkt Island 13 Shoot The Dead Lullaby 14 Dazzle Dazzle Daron Hogg 15 Millsy Slug Music Spooky 16 Mellor Drumatix Dance Voyager 17 Fireworks For Summer Building Fires In A Circle...

18 Jaybee Cowboy’s Blues 19 Dirty Scavenger Introductory Lectures...

20 The Last Cry Rebekka SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

comment@thelatest.co.uk

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

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LATEST PREVIEWS STAGE&CLUBS

L7 Previews STAGE: KEMBLE’S RIOT

A Fringe highlight harks back to the power of the people over the people on the stage

I

t’s 1809 and the people are rioting – the people in the audience at the New Theatre in Covent Garden, that is. The once popular theatre manager, John Kemble, has raised prices to pay for the replacement of the burnt down theatre and the public are not having it. Night after night, they riot in the theatre in protest while the company struggle to perform on stage.

It seems appropriate then, at this time when riotous protests – in the UK and abroad – to stage a play about this event.

And who better to do it than writer, director and sometime performer Adrian Bunting?

A seasoned Festival George Dillon participant, this year Adrian has brought together a great cast headed up by the inimitable George Dillon. “The best example of someone to watch how to perform is George Dillon,” says Stephen Berkoff describing Dillon. “He sniffs out what’s under the surface, but he’s gone much further than I ever did; areas into which I just gently dipped my toe he has plunged from the cliffs headfirst.”

Dillon is joined by Steve North who came to notice in the stage production of Fever Pitch and on TV in London’s Burning.

Bunting has worked around the world and here in Brighton as a construction manager, all the time maintaining his work as a director and creator of great theatre. Kemble’s Riot will be staged at The Old Courtroom, and the audience will be encouraged by actors in and amongst them to play the part of the rioting assembly, shouting, barracking and singing. The production is the culmination of years of experimentation with the concept of the audience/actor divide and Bunting hopes this will bring the audience into the action in a way that no other play has dared to before.

Kemble’s Riot, The Old Courtroom, 13–15 May, 7.30pm, £6/5, 01273 917272/01273 709709, www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk or iFringe on iPhone and Android. follow me on twitter

latestandrew

Lilies On the Land

STAGE: AVENUE Q After nearly five years of mischief, bad behaviour and political incorrectness, London’s funniest show is hitting the road. The Tony Award-winning production is the irresistibly charming musical about the lovably hopeless characters on a downtown New York street trying to make sense of life’s burning issues: love, work, relationships and, above all, just how are you supposed to pay the bills with a BA in English? Hilarious and entertaining, with a batch of songs performed by a cast of hugely talented performers and puppets, Avenue Q is a musical like no other.

Theatre Royal Brighton, 2–7 May, 7.45pm Monday–Thursday, 5.30pm & 8.30pm Friday, 4pm & 7.45pm Saturday, please contact venue for prices, 0844 8717650, www.ambassadortickets.com /brighton

with being outsiders in new surroundings? Maybe work clothes full of mice and toilet rolls falling from the skies are just what it takes for these girls to get through... Based on hundreds of letters and interviews with the original Land Girls along with songs from the period, Lilies On The Land is a revealing portrait of some of Britain’s pluckiest, unsung heroes.

Devonshire Park Theatre, 12–16 April, 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk CLUBS: TFI POPKRAFT Popkraft has now become twice monthly, because it’s naughty, it’s nice and it’s a right old royal knees up. With Boogaloo Stu, Dolly Rocket, The Size Zero Albino and Darran Duran. This is 12 full hours of guaranteed fun.

TFI Popkraft, 15 April, Proud Brighton Ballroom, 7pm–7am, £8/6

STAGE: LILIES ON THE LAND This piece of musical theatre celebrates an extraordinary episode in Britain’s history – the Women’s Land Army of World War II. Delightful and often deeply touching, the play charts the personal journeys of four women who sign up to become Land Girls, determined to work endless, backbreaking hours on farms across the country in a bid to do their best for the War Effort. But how will these women deal not only with the hardships of farming life and the pressures of war, but also

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01273 818150 ext 105

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LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC 27 MUSIC: NICE WEATHER FOR AIRSTRIKES This local collective and label have put together an intriguing bill of post and progressive rock with headliners Her Name Is Calla producing a densely atmospheric sound full of explosions of noise, and passages of gentle harmonies.

They'll be supported by Brightonbased Monsters Build Mean Robots who mix electronic loops with layered instrumentation. The Radioheadesque dark pop of Phoria completes the line up.

Green Door Store, 15 April, 8pm, £5 CLUBS: WHITE MINK ELECTRO SWING SPEAKEASY Launch party featuring the sounds and style of the 1920s and ’30s turned upside down and smuggled into the 21st century. As if that wasn’t enough to attract you down, there will also be free samples of Courvoisiers New Courvoisier Punch.

The Haunt, Pool Valley, Brighton, 15 April, 10pm–3am, £10/6 CLUBS: PRANGIN’ Another launch night to get excited about, this time down at The Volks.

A mixture of golden oldies, hip-hop, Motown, grime, drum ’n’ bass and indie rock. This night really does have music to cater for all tastes.

The Volks, 13 April, 11pm–3.30am, £3/2

MUSIC: THE JIM JONES REVUE The God fearing distorted racket of this crazy band is an acquired taste, but if you like your distorted racket that carries a little of the old style rock ’n’ roll á la Jerry Lee Lewis within, then this is for you!

Concorde 2, 13 April, 7.30pm, £10 MUSIC: FUJIYA & MIYAGI Their Krautrock/electro dance rhythms and horizontal and hushed spoken vocals have served this Brighton outfit very well over the years, with new album Ventriloquizing another fine piece of work. A quiet Brighton success story, this lot will be appearing as part of the Yeah Yeah Industrial Estate club night.

Green Door Store, 16 April, £tbc Fujiya & Miyagi

MUSIC: SOCIAL LIFE Celebrating the Orquesta Buena Vista Social Club

I

n the late ‘90s, Buena Vista Social Club revived a much forgotten repertoire of son, bolero, danzón and guajiro – all traditional styles of Cuban music. This work is being continued by Orquesta Buena Vista Social Club to this day. To refresh: Buena Vista Social Club was a members club in Havana, becoming a popular location for musicians to meet and play during the 1940s. In the 1990s, nearly 50 years after the club was closed, it inspired a recording by Cuban musician Juan de Marcos González and American guitarist Ry Cooder with traditional Cuban musicians, some of whom were veterans who had performed at the club during the height of its popularity including Rubén González, Ibrahim Ferrer and Omara Portuondo.

The ever changing line-up includes new musicians to take up the baton, including Idania Valdes (daughter of original timbales player Amadito Valdes), trumpeter Guarjirito Mirabal and pianist Rolando Luna. Guarjirito’s grandfather Guajiro was an original member, and is still playing with the band, also as a trumpeteter The 14-piece band will be joined on their UK tour by legendary Cuban singer Omara Portuondo, a member of the original Buena Vista Social Club.

“The original idea [back in 1996] was to have African musicians recording with Cuban musicians in Havana, but their visas didn’t arrive in time,” says Omara, the ‘First Lady of Cuban song’, who is now 80 years old.

“So Juan de Marcos González, who was the musical director of the legendary Sierra Maestra band, suggested they look for more Cuban musicians. They needed a female voice...”

“To me, the concert at Carnegie Hall [1998] was a huge success,” says 78-year-old Guajiro Mirabal. “We played to a new audience and it was a new type of experience for me. When you listen to the album [Buena Vista Social Club At Carnegie Hall], you can sense the energy... we knew it was one of those unforgettable shows. Since that concert, the shows have been very successful, in spite of the passing of some of the musicians.”

“I had been touring internationally with my own group prior to joining Rubén González and Ibrahim Ferrer on the first Buena Vista tours,” says Omara. “Of course, the albums and the film have helped to raise not only mine but all our profiles. We have had the pleasure of touring around the world, and it has been an incredible success for Cuban music, which I am very happy to be a part of.”

Orquesta Buena Vista Social Club, Sunday 17 April, Dome, £32.50/£28.50, 7.30pm follow me on twitter

latestjeff

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Nik Coppin

Boothby Graffoe

LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS Mark Simmons

COMEDY: FRINGE FAN Brighton Fringe Festival 2011 is packed full of comedy!

Victoria Nangle offers her tips on picking the right shows

S

aying that there’s something for everyone at a Festival or Fringe has become quite hackneyed. Yes, there’s loads on offer, but how to get to the one that is the precise something for you can be an arduous task.

So here are some tips to get you to the right show, and what some of the rights shows might be...

Firstly, ask around at your favourite venues. If you find that one location keeps you coming back it could be that you have similar tastes to the bookers of the venue. With that in mind, find out what they’re looking forward to seeing, what’s selling fast, or simply trust your programmer and pick something at random, knowing they’ve not done you wrong in the past.

With regards to comedy, let me recommend investigating Upstairs at Three and Ten (www.otherplaceproductions.co.uk), Latest Musicbar (www.thelatest.co.uk/musicbar), Laughing Horse (www.laughinghorsecomedy.co.uk) – this year expanding to cover three venues after 2010’s success – and Komedia (www.komedia.co.uk/brighton).

There are quite a few others around though, so gravitate to your own favourite. Also, if you’re by the box office it’s worth asking about any late bookings of shows, as some may not have made it into the Fringe guide.

Secondly, take a punt! Some of these shows are free and all of them have a lot of work go into them. This is the best time to take a gamble and Falsetto socks spin a penny onto the comedy pages and see where it lands. One of the best shows I saw last year was on before a show I’d planned to go to but arrived too early for. It’s well worth shuffling in to see the show before rather than staring desolately into the bottom of a pint of lemonade for an hour.

Thirdly, ask around. It won’t take long for a buzz to generate around certain shows. Check the reviews (we’ll be posting reviews at www.thelatest.co.uk/7 the very morning after we’ve seen shows throughout the Festival, hoping to exceed last year’s total of 168 posts) and ask your friends and your colleagues. If you see someone laughing as they come out onto the street, quiz them about what they’ve just been to see. follow me on twitter Now book some tickets and enjoy this year’s Fringe! latestvicky www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk

Gerry Howell

COMEDY: CHARITY CHUCKLE Rasing money for local charity Fun In Action (provides one-to-one befriending service to children from disadvantaged loan parent families in Brighton and Hove) and getting to laugh loads! It doesn’t get much better. Headlining this month is Mark Simmons (winner of Kent & Portsmouth New Act of the Year 2009), with able support from Rachel Parris, Mae Martin, Nicholas Cooke, Murray Cummings, Jaq Bayles and Nick Dent – plus the brilliant compering skills of Juice FM’s Andrea Fox! Latest Musicbar, 12 April, 8.30pm, £8/5 COMEDY: LORAINE BOWEN’S POLYESTER FIESTA Combining her quirky hit songs with an array of synthetic outfits, Lorraine sings and celebrates the 70th birthday of polyester. Wear your favourite polyester outfit and the best dressed wins a prize!

Komedia, 17 April, 8pm, £10

fashion accessories, among others objects. For more information visit www.decofairs.co.uk Hove Centre, 17 April, 10am– 4pm, £3 EVENTS: THE CHOCOLATE FESTIVAL After the success of last year’s Chocolate Festival, it’s back again in full chocolatey force. This is for people who absolutely love chocolate – oh, well just about everyone then... A perfect place to find yummy Easter presents and to find out more about the sweet brown stuff.

New Road, Brighton, 16–17 April, 10am–6pm, free

EVENTS: EASTER HOLIDAY CLUB: BUGS AND BEASTIES Two action packed, bug and beasty filled days for children with the Sussex Wildlife Trust. Children do not need to be accompanied by an adult but need to bring a packed lunch. Suitable for 6–11 year olds.

Meet at the Green in front of the church at Stanmer Park, Brighton, 13 & 20 April, 10.30pm–2.30pm, £12/9

COMEDY: PRIME CUTS PRESENTS EARLY 20S Early 20s is a night of three or four stand ups who are already respected on the circuit and are making the leap from doing open spots to professional 20-minute gigs. See them first here!

The Quadrant, 17 April, 8pm, £4 EVENTS: ART DECO FAIR Art Deco Fair selling 1920s–1970s stalls and furniture. Stallholders will be offering for sale original goods, including ceramics, glass, figures, lamps, clocks furniture, dining and

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

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026_029_LS521_previews_editorial 08/04/2011 11:47 Page 5

Supported by

LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM

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FILM: SCREAM 4 (15)

Radical Bloomsbury: Duncan Grant ‘Bathers’

Director: Wes Craven

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ART: RADICAL BLOOMSBURY Curated by David Alan Mellor, this major exhibition re-evaluates the painting partnership of Duncan Grant and Vanessa Bell, exploring their relationship with avantegarde art from 1905 to 1925, showing them to be among the earliest British artists to look at new developments in European art.

Radical Bloomsbury, Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, 01273 290900, 16 April-9 October

FILM: RED RIDING HOOD (12A) Dir: Catherine Hardwicke A chilling retelling of the classic fairytale, but less about children and more about young love and arranged marriage. Starring Amanda Seyfried as Valerie (the lady in the hoodie), our heroine’s parents have arranged for a good marriage to a wealthy man for her, but she wants to run away with her mysterious outsider boyfriend Peter. When Val’s sis is killed by a werewolf, a werewolf hunter is called in and suspicions fly. Also starring Gary Oldman, Billy Burke and Shiloh Fernandez.

Released 15 April Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Kimberly French

ART: RARE & NEW An eclectic collection of rare and new signed prints from national and international artists Sophie Coryndon, Gill Del Mace, Pam Glew, Gerald Laing, David Larwill, Henrik Simonsen and John Simpson.

Rare and New, Naked Eye Gallery, 5 Farm Mews, Farm Road, Hove

he post-modern horror franchise is back! Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) is now a successful self-help author and rounds off her book tour with a final stop at her hometown of Woodsboro, Maryland. Stopping in to say ‘boo!’ to Deputy Dewie (David Arquette), Gale (Courtney Cox), her cousin Jill (Emma Roberts) and Aunt Kate (Mary McDonnell), it seems the gang’s all here – and so is Ghostface. Obviously piqued at his misplaced invitation to the reunion, he’s going on another killing spree. To be truthful, each episode of the franchise has revealed a different and fully motived-up killer once the mask has been pulled aside in true Scooby Doo style, so who it is this time is anybody’s guess. Maybe it’s Sidney, finally cracked with the pressure. Maybe Sidney will be first to go – echoing the original Scream in killing off its star (then Drew Barrymore) in the first sequence. There are plenty of other pretty young things desconstructing the horror genre they’re experiencing, and exercising their larynxes in demonstration of the film’s title.

Wes Craven truly is master in the field of horror.

Also starring Heroes’ Hayden Panettiere, Community’s Alison Brie, The OC’s Adam Brody and Signs’ Rory Culkin.

Released 15 April Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

tues april 12

thu april 14

sat april 16

charity chuckle presents: murray cummings +rachel parris

catalyst club

private party

a monthly highlight in brighton’s comedy calendar. new stand-up, established headliners, and a laugh with the feelgood factor!

8pm £8 / 5

wed april 13

kemp town carnival battle of the bands! the chance for bands to compete for a spot on the main stage at the kemp town carnival this june, plus vip tickets to all the after parties.

7pm £5

three guest speakers each take to the lectern for 15 minutes to enthuse, debate and entertain on subjects that range from voodoo to tinned meat!

8pm £5

atmospheric and affordable, available on any night. call us now on 01273 687 171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk

fri april 15

local bands battle it out for a place in the semi-finals of the rock the house music competition.

7pm £2

private party call us now on 01273 687 171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk

sun april 17

rock the house quarter finals

mon april 18

see website for details

030_LS521_Stars-TV column _024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 08/04/2011 09:28 Page 2

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STARS | TV

STARS

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 812 – 18 APRIL

With Val Aviv

Telly Talk

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

You must stay objective and refrain from being too self indulgent. People expect your input, yet having influence over others means that you have a responsibility to listen and show more respect for their way of thinking.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

You couldn’t do it any better if you tried. You couldn’t try any better if you did. You’ve reached a point of no return. Your concerted efforts will pay off, but you’re putting whey too much pressure on yourself. Slow down and breathe.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21}

You’re not sure where you’re going or where it is you will end up if you stay on the same road. Usually you’re a map reader, yet now you’re being asked to show faith in an unfolding process, destination? You’ll get what you need; make the most of it.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22}

You’ve been spending too long looking outwards and experiencing the world as happening to you. Sure you’ve made a few waves but you’ve also been struggling to float. You must start putting yourself first. Do this to re-address the balance.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22}

Sensitivity may not be your strong point as you’re fired up, giving you reasons to feel visionary and optimistic. Suddenly you can embrace learning like never before; you may be at the source of conflict if you become righteous.

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

The family may offer some financial assistance if things get too hairy on the money front. You may have taken a big risk or your partner hasn’t exactly been clear. Be careful signing financial contracts, unless you’ve read them thoroughly.

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

Stand on top, gain the vantage of higher ground, look down amongst the chaos and know who it is you wish to be. By taking the lead, equilibrium can return. Because deep down you do care and can nurture others to bring out their best; which is good for you too.

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

To make sense of the endless parade of things which keep you on your toes, you’re going to need to get down with the underlying truth you find in philosophy. Albeit finding your own meaning. If you can find a reason for the ‘why’, accepting the ‘how’ is easy.

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

As your confidence to express a more authentic you grows steadily, people are beginning to know who you really are.

Indeed you may have surprised yourself. Generously giving to your children will not stifle you, but will rekindle bonds and please everyone.

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

You’re becoming aware of unconscious behavioural patterns which are not of much benefit. To break free, you must dig deeper and find their origin. Maybe the past is not how you once perceived it to be? Perhaps now, is even better than you realise!

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

Intellectually you’re at the start of a new wave of thought. You may have spent your whole life thinking in one relatively predictable fashion – until now. Opening your mind to new ideas will revolutionise your world.

HPISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

Expressing an endless stream of imaginings could become a very meaningful outlet. While the depths of your meanderings are startling and the wealth of your expressions convincing, you may strike gold creatively speaking and bring meaning to the masses.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

With Victoria Nangle

Coming up...

I

n these times when we are constantly being told that we have less in our pockets and more in our overdrafts, it’s encouraging to find that this also means that big retail firms are opening more doors than ever to try and find the next innovation. This was the impression I was left with after watching the first episode of Britain’s Next Big Thing, hosted

by Dragons’ Den dragon Theo Paphitis.

Liberty, Boots and Habitat are looking for the next product that will fly off the rails come Christmas, be the must-have holiday companion or simply be the thing one buys to show a coming of age. Be it Pokémon or leg warmers blazing the trail, they want what’s coming next, and are having open days for all to pitch their next big thing. Hence the title.

“It sounds a lot like Dragons’ Den, but in a way that’s similar to saying X Factor is like Stars In Their Eyes” It sounds a lot like Dragons’ Den, but in a way that’s similar to saying X Factor is like Stars In Their Eyes. The earlier incarnation shows the initial pitch and effort, the following bigger version its place within an industry and the marketing muscle behind it. Life- and career-changing rather than simply channel changing.

First up on the open days is Liberty, known for its remarkable fabric designs, high-end boutique sales floor and high-end customers. So ornate jock straps may not be quite their thing (although interesting to watch on the model). Sisters-in-law pitching pretty training bras as an alternative push-up mama-makers for 11 year olds may be onto a great idea (as former lingerie mogul Theo attests) but is it right for Liberty?

With this format it would have been so easy to have fallen into fly-on-the-wall by numbers.

Clinky piano pieces indicating when we should feel sad about a back story, or happy about a positive outcome. A Cash In The Attic production, if you will. Thankfully this is more of an Antiques Roadshow, affording each hopeful with a dignity and humour that adds not only to the individuals but also to the programme as a whole. Still feeling contemporary and with the entire series stretching ahead, there’s a hope that some of these pitches may still be around by the very

end. There’s an emotional investment, but not thanks to an interview with Nana Marge who “always knew our Trace would be something special”. No, this is down to an individual’s drive to achieve their dream to make a living off their own ingenuity. Not even riches, but a sense of achievement and self-worth through intellect and hard graft. Maybe a little balance to the trend demanding fame without noticeable talent?

Here’s hoping.

Having seen the first episode I now want to see how the innovators’ stories unfold. I want my friends who may be struggling but should have their own cottage industry in hand-made dolls house furniture to see this. In a time when everyone keeps telling us we should be depressed, it’s positively uplifting to watch something that says we should savour our creativity and believe in it. A more personal wish fulfillment than simply fame and riches. Validation, growth and innovation starts right here. Thanks British public. It’s good to be reminded of you.

Britain’s Next Big Thing, BBC2, Tuesday 12 April. follow me on twitter

latestvicky

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tuesday 12 Filthy Cities BBC2, 9pm We all know the cities we live are quite dirty and that they used to be worse before those antismog and anti-unmentionable laws came in, but just 200 years ago Paris was famously one of the foulest and smelliest in Europe. You need that perfume!

Historian Dan Brown checks out the details.

Campus Channel 4, 10pm From the comedy noggins that brought you Green Wing comes this university set comedic offering that kicked off last week.

Ever topical, Kirke University is getting ready for some huge budget cuts and Jonty is the one wielding the scissors. Cue the paranoia overdrive and rumour mill top gear.

Is Breast Best?

Cherry Healey Investigates BBC3, 9pm The World Health Organisation advises all mothers to breastfeed their babies for at least the first six months, but a lot of mothers find this painful and traumatic – including Cherry Healey. She investigates further, with those who vehemently do and absolutely don’t, to find out more.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Gastronuts 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Dead Gorgeous 4.30 Blue Peter 4.55 Shaun The Sheep 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 6.55 Referendum Campaign Broadcast By The Yes Campaign 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders While Tanya is thrown by a familiar face on her hen night, Max struggles to contain his feelings at Greg’s stag do.

8.00 Holby City Medical drama series. Ollie is forced to confront his secret, but at what cost?

9.00 Candy Cabs Drama. As Jackie and Elaine deal with the fallout from their television appearance, Eddie Shannon, a local football star, could bring some much needed publicity for Candy Cabs when he asks the girls to provide the taxis for his wedding.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 See You In Court Through extraordinary access inside Britain’s biggest law firms, we follow the legal twists and turns of a number of libel and privacy battles as they play out over the course of two years.

11.25 Love Me, Love My Face Jono Lancaster was born with a rare genetic condition. He’s is on a mission to find the parents who gave him up for adoption to show them that he’s happy just the way he is.

12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Michel Roux’s Service 1.30 Who Does What? 2.30 Great British Railway Journeys 3.00 BBC News

6.00 – 9.30am Children’s television 9.30 Big And Small 9.45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.50 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.00 Mighty-Mites 10.15 Green Balloon Club Goes On Holiday 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Dipdap 11.35 FILM: Oh, Mr Porter! (1937) 12.55pm Diagnosis Murder 1.40 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.25 Restoration Roadshow 2.55 Flog It! 3.40 Helicopter Heroes 4.25 Pointless 5.10 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.55 Referendum Campaign Broadcast By The Yes Campaign 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu Series in which top chefs are challenged to cook for the ultimate street party.

7.00 Coast Britain’s strong bonds with its Celtic cousins across the English Channel in Brittany are explored, as the programme visits brand-new territory.

8.00 Britain’s Next Big Thing Series in which the buying teams of three high street giants ask members of the public to supply them with the next bestselling product.

9.00 Filthy Cities See highlights.

10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Joining Jools are: Cee Lo Green, whose The Ladykiller album has gone platinum; legendary Canadian songwriter and guitarist Robbie Robertson; Glasgow’s Glasvegas perform songs from their second album; from Lagos, Seun Kuti and Egypt 80; plus chat with a true legends of funk, Bootsy Collins.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman.

11.20 Wonders Of The Solar System Professor Brian Cox describes how the laws of nature have carved natural wonders across the solar system.

12.20am Wonders Of The Solar System 1.20 BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: Maths 2

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Max Bear 6.20 The Hoobs 6.45 The Hoobs 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.05 Frasier 8.35 Friends 9.05 Wife Swap USA 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 A Place By The Sea 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Great British Brands 12.20 River Cottage Bites 12.25 FILM: The War Of The Worlds (1953) 2.05 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Fern 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The Savages get evicted, but Dodger thinks he knows where they can stay. Folk that make the McQueens look classy!

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Referendum: Yes Campaign Referendum broadcast on behalf of the Yes campaign to Fairer Votes.

8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Meat addict Dawn Grant swaps diets with calorie-counter Charlene Sequiera.

9.00 Katie: My Beautiful Friends Documentary series following Katie Piper’s progress as, after suffering a horrific acid attack, she sets up a charity to help others living with disfigurement. Katie takes a huge step forward as she moves into her own place, and throws a party to thank the people who have agreed to be ambassadors for her foundation.

10.00 Campus See highlights.

11.05 Pete Versus Life Comedy drama about sports fan Pete, whose life is given a running commentary by Colin and Terry,.

11.40 School Of Comedy Comedy sketch show.

12.10am 4thought.tv 12.15 PokerStars.com 1.15 Freesports On 4 1.40 Mobil 1 The Grid 2.05 KOTV Boxing 2.30 Extreme Sailing 3.00 ITU Triathlon World Cup Magazine 3.50 AVP Beach Volleyball 4.45 Crunchtime 5.10 Full Metal Challenge

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Olivia 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.05 Bridezillas 12.05pm The Family Recipe 12.10 5 News Lunchtime 12.20 House 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Vanessa Show 3.05 Chinese Food In Minutes 3.15 FILM: Mercy Mission: The Rescue Of Flight 771 (1993) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away In light of April’s breakdown, Bianca decides to move in with her sister and Irene but this creates tension with Liam.

6.25 OK! TV 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Extraordinary Dogs The Sussex Police Working Dogs are put through an intensive training programme.

8.00 Tutankhamun: The Mystery Revealed Documentary exploring the life of Egypt’s most famous pharaoh.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The team investigate the brutal murder of a lawyer, with their suspicions falling on his exgirlfriend. Bitter split?

10.00 CSI Miami Crime drama.

When a body falls from the sky over Miami, the CSIs discover that the deceased was killed during a commercial space flight. Blimey!

10.55 CSI: NY Crime drama. A hated boss is found dead in the grounds of her own hotel; and the CSIs try to find out how a body ended up on the roof of a school bus.

11.50 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A triplemurder case from 15 years ago comes back to haunt Catherine.

12.45am SuperCasino 4.00 Meals In Moments 4.10 How Not To Decorate 4.55 Rough Guide To Adventures 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 LIVE Masters Tennis 5.30pm Football Asia 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am UEFA Champions League 1.00 Football’s Greatest 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 UEFA Champions League 3.30 Revista De La Liga 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 UEFA Champions League

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 6.50 A Referendum Broadcast On Behalf Of The Yes Campaign 7.00 Emmerdale Leyla accuses Amy of stealing. Jimmy vows to be there for his son.

7.30 Grimefighters Last in the series following the daily lives of clean-up crews around Britain.

8.00 Countrywise Paul Heiney, historian Bettany Hughes and horticulturist Rachel de Thame explore Britain’s beautiful rural countryside.

9.00 Smugglers Second of two programmes following the work of UK Border Agency officers. At Harwich – a port of choice for organised crime – officers seize a huge consignment of drugs. Cameras follow the investigation of one lorry as it goes through the X-ray scanner, which identifies suspicious boxes which, when opened by officers, reveal a huge haul of cannabis and what is suspected to be heroin.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Walking Tall (2004) Starring The Rock, Johnny Knoxville, Neal McDonough, Kristen Wilson and Ashley Scott. Gung-ho actioner based on a true story. Not sure if that should be commended or condoned.

12.05am The Zone 2.10 Crossing Jordan 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Elite League Speedway 10.00 How The 2011 US Masters Was Won 12.00pm Monday Night Football 1.00 The Sky Sports Years 2.00 SPL Round-Up 2.30 Netbusters 3.00 How The 2011 US Masters Was Won 5.00 Sports Unlimited 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All The Tries 7.00 LIVE UEFA Champions League 10.15 Poker 11.15 Tennis: ATP Masters 1.15am British Basketball League 3.15 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.30am NASCAR 7.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 9.00 PGA Tour Classic 10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All The Tries 1.00 NASCAR 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 British Basketball League 8.00 Tennis: ATP Masters 10.00 British Basketball League 12.00am Cycling Sports World 12.30 Golfing World 1.30 World Cup Of Pool 2.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

1.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 3.00 The Lion Man (x3) 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Futurama 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Glenn Martin, DDS 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Live To Dance 9.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) 11.00 Fringe 12.00am Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK 1.00 Customs UK

7.00pm Total Wipeout: The Awards 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Is Breast Best?

Cherry Healey Investigates.

See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 White Van Man 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Is Breast Best? Cherry Healey Investigates 12.45am White Van Man 1.15 Russell Howard’s Good News

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Birds Britannia 8.30 James May At The Edge Of Space 9.00 Destination Titan 10.00 Around The World In 60 Minutes 11.00 Britain Goes Camping 12.00am Birds Britannia 1.00 Innocent! Paco & The Struggle For Justice: Storyville 2.30 James May At The Edge Of Space

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x2) 6.30 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 8.00 Homes From Hell 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 Benidorm 11.00 OMG! With Peaches Geldof 12.00am FILM: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.50 Pie In The Sky 2.55 The Darling Buds Of May 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 George And Mildred 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Pie In The Sky 7.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Blue Murder 11.40 Numb3rs 12.35am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.30 Wycliffe 2.20 Drama Trails

1.05pm Privileged 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.35 Ugly Betty 4.30 Friends (x2) 6.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 The Cleveland Show 10.30 The Ricky Gervais Show 11.00 Bob’s Burgers 11.30 The Cleveland Show 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

1.10pm 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate (x4) 1.30 Deal Or No Deal 2.30 Come Dine With Me 3.00 Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs (x2) 10.00 True Stories: Guilty Pleasures 12.00am Grand Designs

11.00am All About Eve (1950) 1.40pm The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 4.05 Oliver Twist (1948) 6.20 4Films For...

6.25 Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World (2003) 9.00 Mean Girls (2004) 10.50 The Seventh Seal (1957) 12.40am Once Upon A Time In The West (1968)

Brighton Lights

If you want to join us in creating a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest MusicBar. 5.30pm Mondays

www.thelatest.tv

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032_LS521_TV_wed_L7wed14apr.qxd 08/04/2011 12:08 Page 1

wednesday 13 Vacation, Vacation, Vacation Channel 4, 8pm Anyone jealous of this job? Yup, just when you fancy getting away from the dreary weather Phil and Kirstie show that they can do it every week and to somewhere completely different. At least they’re finding the best trips for us for when we do get out, for both the big and small purses.

Today: skiing in St Moritz.

The Crimson Petal And The White BBC2, 9pm The sultry decadent period drama continues the debauchery as a merrily seduced William moves Sugar out of Mrs Castaway’s boudoir and into a flat of her own in Marylebone. Fancy! Sugar herself continues her secret role as guardian angel to Will’s wife, the unstable Agnes. Careful.

Film: M*A*S*H Film4, 9pm The film that inspired the series that was actually based on a book is pretty darned good. So good the Korean War drama comedy picked up an Oscar for its script and was nominated for four more that year. More harrowing than the TV series but dang good, this stars Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Gastronuts 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Trade Your Way To The USA 4.30 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 DIY SOS: The Big Build – Aberystwyth Nick Knowles and the team enlist the help of the local community in Aberystwyth to renovate a home for a builder with a brain tumour. Crikey!

8.27 BBC News; Regional News 8.30 Life Of Riley Sitcom. When Maddy discovers her mum has a boyfriend, her attempts to talk her out of the relationship lead to wedding plans and a big pink dress.

9.00 MasterChef Four exceptional amateur cooks remain in the battle to become this year’s MasterChef.

Judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace ask them to overcome their greatest weakness - pastry - and set them three pastry challenges. Yum! 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws Numbers, hopes and dreams.

10.45 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon returns to host the fourth series of the comedy panel show.

11.15 FILM: Scream (1996) Starring Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette. Quality horror thriller.

12.55am Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.30 Country Tracks 2.30 Natural World 3.30 Rip Off Britain 4.00 BBC News

6.00 – 8.55am Children’s television 8.55 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 9.05 The Koala Brothers 9.15 Guess With Jess 9.30 Big And Small 9.45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.50 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.00 MightyMites 10.15 Green Balloon Club Goes On Holiday 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Dipdap 11.35 FILM: Too Many Crooks (1958) 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Coast 1.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.30 Restoration Roadshow 3.00 Flog It! 3.45 Helicopter Heroes 4.30 Pointless 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu Series in which top chefs are challenged to cook for the ultimate street party.

Don’t watch this while eating dinner.

It’ll make it taste of cardboard.

7.00 Escape To The Country Series which helps prospective buyers to find their dream home in the country.

8.00 Springwatch High Seas With Gordon Buchanan From seabirds to seals and sand-eels to basking sharks, discover the creatures that make this alien environment their own. Then scare your sister with them. Mwah hah hah!

9.00 The Crimson Petal And The White See highlights.

10.00 The Victorians Jeremy Paxman continues his exploration of the Victorian world by entering the typical Victorian home, a haven of order, respectability and morality. But not everything was always as it should be.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 Wonders Of The Solar System Professor Brian Cox describes how the laws of nature have carved natural wonders across the solar system.

12.20am Wonders Of The Solar System 1.20 BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: Maths 3

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.10am Max Bear 6.20 The Hoobs 6.45 The Hoobs 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.05 Frasier 8.35 Friends 9.05 Wife Swap USA 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.55 Country House Rescue 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Jamie At Home 12.35 FILM: Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956) 2.10 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Fern 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Duncan reluctantly leaves Ricky in charge of Mobs.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Vacation, Vacation, Vacation See highlights.

8.30 Superscrimpers: Waste Not Want Not Mrs Moneypenny tackles Britain’s most wasteful familes and challenges them to go a whole week without spending any money.

9.00 Jamie’s Dream School As the school term approaches its climax, Alastair Campbell invites his pupils to Downing Street to discuss education with David Cameron.

10.00 Desperate Housewives Comedy drama series. Paul’s fate is revealed and Susan’s life hangs in the balance in the aftermath of the riot.

11.05 The Big C Drama series.

Facing divorce and the loss of her best friend, Cathy looks to make amends with those around her.

11.40 Being... N-Dubz In America And Beyond Reality series following the lives of rap group N-Dubz.

12.10am MUSIC ON 4: Abbey Road Debuts 12.30 MUSIC ON 4: 4Play: Young Knives 12.45 The Chapman Family 1.00 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 1.15 Frontier House 2.10 Vincent: The Full Story 3.05 FILM: Where The Sidewalk Ends (1950) 4.45 Great British Brands 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.25 Countdown

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Olivia 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.05 Bridezillas 12.05pm The Family Recipe 12.10 5 News Lunchtime 12.20 House 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Vanessa Show 3.00 FILM: Charms For The Easy Life (2002) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 LIVE Masters Tennis 5.30pm European Tour Weekly 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Total Rugby 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Boxing 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am UEFA Champions League 1.00 Boxing 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Football’s Greatest 3.00 UEFA Champions League 4.00 Boxing 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Football’s Greatest

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Kelly is annoyed that Jimmy still has not ended things with Nicola. Do your own annoyed face along with her. Now. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Tottenham Hotspur V Real Madrid Adrian Chiles introduces live coverage from White Hart Lane of Tottenham’s quarter-final second leg against Real Madrid. Jose Mourinho, who won with Inter Milan last season, has his sights set on a historic third Champions League triumph with different clubs. Standing in his way tonight is Harry Redknapp, who has guided Spurs to the last eight of the competition at their first attempt. Redknapp will need Welshman Gareth Bale to be at his inspiring best if Tottenham are to reach the semi-finals. Spurs will also need to contain the threat of Cristiano Ronaldo, who has been a prolific scorer for Real Madrid since his record-breaking transfer from Manchester United. Commentary by Peter Drury and Jim Beglin.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time What do you mean you missed it?!

11.35 Smugglers Repeat of yesterday’s show.

12.30am The Zone 2.30 Spartacus 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 Home And Away Casey and Xavier get jobs as pizza delivery boys at Angelo’s. However, Casey quickly finds himself in trouble with the law.

6.25 OK! TV 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Starlight: For The Children Documentary series celebrating 25 years of the Starlight Children’s Foundation – the charity that brightens the lives of sick and terminally ill children by granting them once-in-a-lifetime wishes.

8.00 Emergency Bikers Actionpacked documentary series following the work of emergency bike crews.

9.00 NCIS Crime drama series. After a driver from a shady shipping company is found dead, the NCIS team takes to the road to bring down the illegal operation. Road episode!

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. A rapper is gunned down in the street and witnesses to the crime start to go missing. More than careless.

10.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series.

Detectives connect the brutal hit-andrun murder of a prostitute to a violent video game. That old chestnut.

11.55 Poker: Aussie Millions 12.55am SuperCasino 4.00 Meals In Moments 4.10 How Not To Decorate 4.55 Rough Guide To Activity Holidays 5.10 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 UEFA Champions League 10.00 British Basketball League 12.00pm Revista De La Liga 1.00 UEFA Champions League 2.00 British Basketball League 4.00 UEFA Champions League 5.00 Tenpin Bowling 6.00 Soccerex 2011 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 LIVE UEFA Champions League 10.15 You’re On Sky Sports 11.45 Soccerex 2011 12.45am Masters Tennis 2.15 Total Rugby 2.45 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.55am European Tour Golf 8.55 LIVE International Cricket 5.00pm WWE: The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE: Afterburn 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 Inside The PGA Tour 8.00 Tennis: ATP Masters 10.00 Cage Fighter 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Cage Fighter 12.00am Poker 1.00 Inside The PGA Tour 1.30 European Tour Weekly 2.00 Netball: Super League 4.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.30pm Glenn Martin, DDS 1.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 3.00 The Lion Man (x2) 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Futurama 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Glenn Martin, DDS 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 A Different Breed 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Martina Cole’s The Runaway 12.00am Customs UK

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid?

7.30 Snog Marry Avoid?

8.00 Botox Britain: Your Face In Their Hands 9.00 The Gatwick Baby: Abandoned At Birth 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 FILM: Serendipity (2001) 12.40am Russell Howard’s Good News 1.10 American Dad!

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 At Home With The Georgians 8.30 Petworth House: The Big Spring Clean 9.00 If Walls Could Talk: The History Of The Home 10.00 Kidult: My Kid Could Paint That 11.20 Spiral: The Butcher Of La Vallette (x2) 1.10am Petworth House: The Big Spring Clean

4.40pm Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Alexandra Burke: The Hot Desk 8.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.30 Life’s Funniest Moments 9.00 Kerry Katona: The Next Chapter 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.45 FILM: Van Helsing (2004) 1.20am Hell’s Kitchen USA

9.55am Ironside 11.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.05 The Darling Buds Of May 4.15 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.15 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Doc Martin (x2) 10.00 Inspector Morse 12.10am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.55 Film File

11.20am Smallville 12.10pm Wildfire 1.05 Privileged 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.30 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Ugly Betty 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 FILM: My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006) 11.00 Glory Daze 11.55 My Name Is Earl (x2) 12.55am The Event 1.45 Ugly Betty

3.35pm Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.40 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Time Team Special: The Mystery Of The Roman Treasure 11.00 FILM: The General’s Daughter (1999) 1.15am Time Team

11.00am Heaven Can Wait (1943) 1.10pm Rope (1948) 2.50 Blithe Spirit (1945) 4.40 Great Expectations (1946) 7.00 Edward Scissorhands (1990) 9.00 M*A*S*H (1970). See highlights. 11.15 The Darjeeling Limited (2007) 1.00am Pather Panchali (1955) 3.30 Close

Brighton Lights

Meet the controversial designer and artist Jez Eaton – leaving Tracey Emin and Sarah Maple in the shade with her cutting edge Roadkills Couture show

www.thelatest.tv

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thursday 14 Coronation Street ITV1, 8.30pm It’s the end of an era, luv! She’s only just got back from Spain and those fishnets and micro-minis are going straight back in the suitcase as Liz says farewell to the cobbled street once more.

Becky may have a quieter life, but when has that ever been something she’s been after? So long, Liz. We’ll miss ya.

Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience BBC2, 10pm This proved such a hit on BBC Wales it’s now on national broadcast for the second series, as the comic chances his arm at some very disparate occupations.

This week he has a bash at being a tattoo artist, but in order to give one he must first receive. Who said hard work didn’t hurt?

Glory Daze E4, 9pm Weren’t the ‘80s great? All that neon clothing and entertainment

by John Hughes? Apparently this is how the ‘80s were, which is why this US comedy looks back at four young bucks trying to mae their way through college life in this specific period. Today, Eli becomes infatuated with the military after watching Top Gun.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Gastronuts 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Project Parent 4.30 My Life: Stammer School 4.55 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab: The Experiments 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex Jones bring you the stories that matter from across the country.

7.30 EastEnders Tragedy strikes on the day of Greg and Tanya’s wedding – will the pair exchange vows before events take over?

8.00 Watchdog The programme takes a look at high street stores where innocent customers have been accused of shoplifting. Plus, the airlines charging families extra to sit together. The cheek!

9.00 New Tricks Crime drama.

UCOS reinvestigate a high-profile riverboat disaster on the Thames after a new witness comes forward claiming the collision was the result of sabotage, rather than an accident.

10.00 BBC News At Ten .

10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Topical debate with a panel of prominent public figures and an invited audience.

11.35 Women, Weddings, War And Me Documentary about 21-yearold Nel, who has lived in Britain since she was six after her family fled war in Afghanistan, as she returns to the country of her birth.

12.35am Holiday Weatherview 12.40 Sign Zone: Neighbourhood Watched 1.25 Living With The Ayatollah 1.55 Countryfile 2.55 Antiques Roadshow 3.55 BBC News

6.00 –9.05am Children’s television 9.05 The Koala Brothers 9.15 Guess With Jess 9.30 Big And Small 9.45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.50 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.00 Mighty-Mites 10.15 Green Balloon Club Goes On Holiday 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Dipdap 11.35 FILM: Just My Luck (1957) 1.00pm Diagnosis Murder 1.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.30 Restoration Roadshow 3.00 Flog It! 3.45 Helicopter Heroes 4.30 Pointless 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu Series in which top chefs are challenged to cook for the ultimate street party.

7.00 Shanties And Sea Songs With Gareth Malone In Portsmouth, he meets a devoted shanty singer before continuing on to Tyneside and the Yorkshire coast. This is a real programme, not a pastiche.

8.00 The Animal’s Guide To Britain Chris Packham presents the series that examines Britain from an animal’s point of view. This time Chris looks at freshwater animals.

9.00 A History Of Celtic Britain Continuing his journey into our ancient past, Neil Oliver explores the age of Celtic Britain – a time of warriors, druids, and kings of unimaginable wealth. Neil encounters a celebrated warrior from 300 BC, owner of the finest Iron Age sword ever discovered. He tries his hand at divination in an effort to discover the power of Celtic priests. Sticks!

10.00 Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler.

11.20 Filthy Cities Repeat of Tuesday’s episode.

12.20am BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.10am The Treacle People 6.20 The Hoobs 6.45 The Hoobs 7.10 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.05 Frasier 8.35 Friends 9.05 Wife Swap USA 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.55 The Restoration Man 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Great British Brands 12.15 River Cottage Bites 12.20 FILM: Destination Moon (1950) 2.10 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Fern 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Cheryl is found unconscious in Chez Chez.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Three In A Bed The owners of Heronby, a thatched property in the middle of the Norfolk Broads, go head to head with Holland Park in west London and a bed and breakfast in Somerset.

9.00 The Somme’s Secret Weapon: A Time Team Special Special edition in which Tony Robinson joins a unique dig near Mametz on the frontline of the Somme battlefield, where historian Peter Barton believes that a top secret and devastating weapon was deployed in July 1916.

10.00 10 O’Clock Live Comedy and current affairs show hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne.

11.05 Friday Night Dinner Comedy.

Repat of last Friday’s episode.

11.35 The Ricky Gervais Show Comedy animation.

12.10am MUSIC ON 4: Arctic Monkeys: Video Exclusive 12.20 The Album Chart Show Introduces...12.35 4Play: James Vincent McMorrow 12.50 Face Of Britain 1.45 A Harlot’s Progress 3.35 Unreported World 4.00 Dispatches: Undercover Hospital 4.55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.20 Countdown

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Olivia 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.05 Bridezillas 12.05pm The Family Recipe 12.10 5 News Lunchtime 12.20 House 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Vanessa Show 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Prayers For Bobby (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Elijah finally faces the bishop and confesses to his desire to resign from the church.

Matters become even more complicated when Grace discovers the truth.

6.25 OK! TV A lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features.

7.00 5 News At 7 7.25 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn explores how mirrors are made to be so reflective, and how a sleek sports car is wrapped with a detailed graphic design.

7.55 Europa League Football Live Europa League football action.

10.00 FILM: Striking Distance (1993) Starring Bruce Willis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dennis Farina, Tom Sizemore and Timothy Busfield. Fastmoving thriller about a cop hunting for his father’s murderer. The former detective, now demoted to river duty, is convinced that his father was the victim of a serial killer. He sets out to prove that the culprit is another policeman, but his obsessive hunt puts him at odds with his partner. At the same time, the killer taunts the cop by targeting women from his past. Naa na na naa naah!

12.10am SuperCasino 4.00 Meals In Moments 4.10 How Not To Decorate 4.55 Rough Guide To Short Breaks 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 LIVE Masters Tennis 5.30pm Football’s Greatest 6.00 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 The Rugby Club 11.30 Time Of Our Lives 12.30am Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Darts: Premier League 4.30 Khan V McCloskey Countdown 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nicola and Kelly lock horns over Jimmy. Alicia refuses to apologise to Leyla.

7.30 Children Of The Tsunami: Tonight In the aftermath of the devastation caused by the Japan earthquake and tsunami, the programme looks at the plight of the most vulnerable people affected.

8.00 Emmerdale Nicola resorts to desperate measures with Kelly.

8.30 Coronation Street Seew highlights.

9.00 Monroe Last in the series of the medical drama. Monroe is finally forced to confront the painful truth about his past when a lively night shift at the hospital suddenly takes a darker turn as a 13-year-old girl is admitted following a road accident – and Monroe knows that there is little chance of saving her.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Benidorm Repeat of Friday’s episode.

11.35 Caroline Quentin: A Passage Through India First in a three-part series in which actress Caroline Quentin makes an epic journey through the Indian subcontinent from north to south.

12.30am The Zone 2.35 Children Of The Tsunami: Tonight 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 Jeremy Kyle: Morning Surgery 5.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Inside The PGA Tour 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 11.00 Football’s Greatest 11.30 UEFA Champions League 12.30pm European Tour Golf 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 The Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE Centenary Shield Football 9.30 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 10.30 WWE: Late Night Raw 12.30am WWE NXT 1.30 Centenary Shield Football 3.30 Masters Tennis 5.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE: Experience 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Boxing 10.00 Total Rugby 10.30 Soccerex 2011 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Tenpin Bowling 1.00 Boxing 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 UEFA Champions League 4.00 Boxing 5.00 European Tour Golf 7.00 Super League Super Men 7.30 LIVE Championship Rugby League 9.30 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

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Film4

1.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 3.00 The Lion Man (x2) 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Futurama 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Glenn Martin, DDS 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 Martina Cole’s The Runaway 10.00 Game Of Thrones Preview 10.15 House 11.15 NCIS: LA 12.15am Customs UK

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Police Academy UK 9.00 Misbehaving Mums To Be 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Misbehaving Mums To Be 12.45am Russell Howard’s Good News 1.15 The Gatwick Baby: Abandoned At Birth 2.15 Police Academy UK

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1976 8.00 The Great Estate: The Rise & Fall Of The Council House 9.00 Room At The Top 10.00 Rubicon 10.45 Knocking On Heaven’s Door: Storyville 11.45 Room At The Top 12.45am If Walls Could Talk: The History Of The Home 1.45 The Great Estate

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x2) 6.30 The Movie Show 7.00 The Cube 8.00 American Idol: Top 8 Perform 9.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.45 FILM: Batman Forever (1995) 1.10am Coronation Street

12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Pie In The Sky 3.00 The Darling Buds Of May 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.05 George And Mildred 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Pie In The Sky 7.50 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Super Sleuths: Inspector Morse 10.00 Lewis 12.10am FILM: The Road To Wellville (1994)

12.10pm Wildfire 1.05 Privileged 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Ugly Betty 4.25 Friends (x2) 6.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x2) 9.00 Glory Daze. See highlights. 10.00 The Inbetweeners (x2 )11.05 Shameless 12.10am My Name Is Earl (x2) 1.05 The Inbetweeners (x2)

2.30pm Come Dine With Me 3.00 Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.40 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 The Big C 11.35 The Closer 12.35am The Good Wife

11.00am The Green Ray (1986) 12.55pm My Darling Clementine (1946) 2.45 A Matter Of Life And Death (1946) 4.50 Local Hero (1983) 7.00 The Duellists (1977) 9.00 Kung Fu Hustle (2004) 11.00 Saturday Night Fever (1977) 1.20am The Conformist (1970) 3.30 Close

Brighton Lights

Check out the fresh comic voice of Brighton Lights’ barmaid Lynne Cessant.

Pearls of askew wisdom... www.thelatest.tv

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friday 15 Paul O’Grady Live ITV1, 9pm Brand new Friday night chatter from the ruler of afternoon gossip and interviews. But will he translate into evening fare? Well, he did it before as Lily. To kick start this new series there’s the smashing line-up of Charlotte Church, Rupert Everett and John Cleese – all great raconteurs in their own right. And Olga.

The Graham Norton Show BBC1, 10.35pm Graham Norton’s cheeky chats continue, as his leftfield questions and game audience make this show fab. Tonight’s guests are former Doctor Who David Tennant and former Doctor Who assistant Catherine Tate. It’s been so long since they were time-travelling together, maybe it’s time to reminisce. Hmm.

Doctor Who BBC3, 7pm The penultimate story from the last series, so you can get good and ready for next Saturday’s blast back onto appointment TV of the new series. Yup, a new series! But back to tonight – the Doctor receives a warning from that the Pandorica – said to hold the most feared thing in the universe – is opening. Oops.

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Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Gastronuts 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Remote Control Star 4.30 All Over The Place 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Chris Evans and Alex Jones bring you the stories that matter from across the country.

8.00 EastEnders The Brannings race to hospital after receiving shocking news about Max and Abi, while Tanya’s fear for her family leads to a momentary act of madness. Candy Cabs, perhaps?

8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker is in the chair armed with the sporting questions.

9.00 Have I Got News For You Popular news quiz. Team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by guest host Stephen Mangan and guest panellists including Kevin Bridges.

9.30 QI Comedy quiz show. Stephen Fry gently guides guests Liza Tarbuck, Phill Jupitus, Sean Lock and Alan Davies through the world of games.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show See highlights.

11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws The National Lottery Friday Night Draws.

11.30 The One Show 12.30am FILM: Fakers (2004) 1.50 Weatherview 1.55 Sign Zone: Michel Roux’s Service 2.55 The Boat That Guy Built 3.25 Great British Railway Journeys 3.55 BBC News

6.00 – 9.05am Children’s television 9.05 The Koala Brothers 9.15 Guess With Jess 9.30 Big And Small 9.45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 9.50 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.00 Mighty-Mites 10.15 Green Balloon Club Goes On Holiday 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Dipdap 11.35 FILM: The Battle Of The Sexes (1959) 1.00pm Diagnosis Murder 1.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.30 Restoration Roadshow 3.00 Flog It! 3.45 Helicopter Heroes 4.30 Pointless 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu Series in which top chefs are challenged to cook for the ultimate street party.

7.00 Island Parish It is the end of Father John Paul’s first year as the new Catholic priest on Barra, but celebrations are in danger of being overshadowed by worries over the whole future of island life.

7.30 Mastermind John Humphrys hosts the Grand Final. Subjects include William Wilberforce, David Byrne, Paintings in the National Gallery and the Life and Career of Frankie Howerd. Feeling clever?

8.30 Gardeners’ World As spring gets well underway, Monty Don adds to his collection of fritillaries at Longmeadow with pot-grown plants, as well as sowing some from seed.

9.00 Monty Don’s Italian Gardens Monty Don takes a grand tour around Italy’s magnificent gardens.

10.00 Frank Skinner’s Opinionated Comedian Frank Skinner hosts a topical comedy series. This time Frank is in Norwich with guests Ross Noble and Sarah Millican.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.00 The Review Show Arts and culture discussion programme.

11.50 Later... With Jools Holland 12.50am FILM: Pinero (2001) 2.20 BBC News

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Treacle People 6.20 The Hoobs 6.45 The Hoobs 7.10 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.05 Frasier 8.35 Friends 9.05 Wife Swap USA 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.55 Gok’s Fashion Fix 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 River Cottage Bites 12.10 FILM: Mysterious Island (1961) 2.10 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Fern 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The McQueens arrive home to find squatters.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.25 4thought.tv 7.30 Unreported World Reporter Peter Oborne and director Edward Watts travel to Pakistan’s largest city Karachi where last year more civilians were killed in political, ethnic and criminal violence than died across the whole of Pakistan in terrorist attacks.

8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away After years of preparation David and Adrian are ready to take the plunge with their dream of an early retirement. Will they plump for Brighton or Gran Canaria?

9.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic Christian Jessen and Pixie McKenna revisit some of the patients who sought advice on awkward medical conditions.

Seriously – a real Doctor Pixie.

10.00 David Walliams: Awfully Good Ads David Walliams pays a tongue-in-cheek tribute to badly conceived and poorly executed moments in TV. 12.10am 10 O’Clock Live 1.05 MUSIC ON 4: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 1.20 4Play: Funeral Party 1.30 My Name Is Earl (x2) 2.15 Freaky (x2) 3.05 Tricks From The Bible 4.00 Ugly Betty 4.45 Ugly Betty 5.25 Countdown

6.00 –8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Olivia 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.05 Bridezillas 12.05pm The Family Recipe 12.10 5 News Lunchtime 12.20 House 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Vanessa Show 3.05 Meals In Moments 3.15 FILM: Straight From The Heart (2003) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Romeo organises a romantic picnic date with Indi, but she is still being plagued by visions of her boyfriend with Ruby.

Can Indi continue with the relationship?

6.25 OK! TV A lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features.

7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Alaska’s Dalton Highway.

9.00 The Mentalist US drama series. When the CBI agents investigate a murder at a driving range, they find themselves embroiled in a case of medical malpractice. That’s a bit of a leap.

10.00 Law And Order American drama series. The teenage son of a famous model dies while visiting his mother in hospital. The cause of death turns out to be a brain tumour caused by cancer in the bone marrow replacement in his legs. Will the DA‘s office be able to prosecute the doctor who harvested the infected tissue?

10.55 The Walking Dead US drama series. Repeat of Sunday’s show.

12.30am SuperCasino 4.05 Motorsport Mundial 4.30 Fifth Gear 4.55 Rough Guide To Journeys 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football’s Greatest 9.30 Live Masters Tennis 5.30pm Football League Weekend 6.30 Khan V McCloskey Countdown 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 Football League Weekend 12.30am Super League 2.00 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 2.30 Take It Like A Fan 3.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 3.30 Football League Weekend 4.30 Super League

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A humiliated Nicola is forced to apologise to Kelly. Ha! 7.30 Coronation Street Maria is left reeling after Carla’s announcement.

Steve feels guilty for driving Liz away.

8.00 Baboons With Bill Bailey Bill Bailey presents his fascinating and hilarious series about the baboons. In this episode, Bill introduces the Da Gama troop, who inhabit the urban jungle of the Cape Town suburbs and can often be found wreaking havoc on the nearby naval base.

8.30 Coronation Street A furious Maria lashes out at Carla. Chesney is ecstatic at Katy’s news. Tracy rumbles Steve and Becky – and bans them from seeing Amy. Insert your own Muttley noises here regarding foiled plans.

9.00 Paul O’Grady Live See highlights.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness presents more matchmaking mayhem. Descending from the love lift today are a male model from Birmingham, a Disneyloving cocktail flarer, an upper crust toff and a gymnast. Plus we find out what happened to last episode’s love matches.

11.35 The Cube Gameshow.

12.30am The Zone 2.35 In Plain Sight 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Khan v McCloskey Countdown 7.00 Live European Tour Golf 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00pm Khan v McCloskey Countdown 1.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Football’s Greatest 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Road To London 7.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 10.00 Tight Lines 11.00 NFL - Total Access 12.00am Masters Tennis 2.00 Tight Lines 3.00 NFL Total Access 4.00 Road To London 4.30 Live European Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE: Raw 9.00 Championship Rugby League 11.00 Super League Super Men 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm NRL Fulltime 12.30 Darts: Premier League 4.00 WWE: Raw 6.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Tight Lines 5.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 5.30 Kings Of The Snow

Victoria Nangle

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BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

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4.00pm Oops TV 4.30 Futurama 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Glenn Martin, DDS 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 The Middle 8.00 The Simpsons 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Raising Hope 9.30 A League Of Their Own 10.30 Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena 11.45 Live To Dance 12.45am Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who. See highlights. 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 White Van Man 9.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Lock Up 11.00 Family Guy 11.45 White Van Man 12.15am Russell Howard’s Good News 12.45 Is Breast Best?

7.00pm News 7.30 Opera Italia 8.30 Transatlantic Sessions 9.00 Robert Plant:

By Myself 10.00 Robert Plant: Electric Prom 11.00 Robert Plant On Later 11.30 Legends: Thin Lizzy - Bad Reputation 12.30am Robert Plant: By Myself 1.30 Robert Plant: Electric Prom 2.30 Robert Plant On Later 3.00 Opera Italia

3.40pm Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.30 Grimefighters 9.00 American Idol: Results 8-7 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 11.30 Celebrity Juice 12.15am Kerry Katona: The Next Chapter

10.40am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Pie In The Sky 3.00 The Darling Buds Of May 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 George And Mildred 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Pie In The Sky 7.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Taggart 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.15am FILM: The Constant Gardener (2005)

12.10pm Wildfire 1.05 Privileged 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Ugly Betty 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 10.00 Supernanny US 11.00 Great British Hairdresser 12.00am My Name Is Earl (x2) 1.00 Jo Frost

2.30pm Come Dine With Me 3.00 Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Love Thy Neighbour (x2) 11.05 Heroes Of Comedy (x2) 1.15am Come Dine With Me

11.00am The League Of Gentlemen (1960) 1.15pm Laura (1944) 3.00 Above Us The Waves (1956) 4.55 Paper Moon (1973) 6.55 The Italian Job (1969) 8.55 4Films For... 9.00 The French Connection (1971) 11.00 The French Connection II (1975) 1.20am Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)

Brighton Lights

Kelsey Cameron interviews Skins star Dakota Blue Richards on the recent live edition of Brighton Lights www.thelatest.tv

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saturday 16 Britain’s Got Talent ITV1, 8.20pm Any and Dec are back and it’s not jungle time. Must mean it’s the perfect opportunity for all those who have been hiding their light under a bushel in Britain. Or think they have. The massive talent show is back with judges Amanda Holden, Michael McIntyre and David Hasselhoff with fingers on that red button.

Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Russell Brand ITV1, 9.50pm Love him or loathe him, Russell Brand is a remarkable character – which makes him an ideal guest with which to launch the new series of Piers Morgan’s in depth interviews. Actor, comedian, former drug addict, author and pop husband and more. Yup, dandy highwayman.

Film: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Film4, 3pm Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell take a cruise to find rich husbands to whisk them away from their showgirl lives in this musical comedy. Featuring the classic ‘Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend’, and providing a classic misunderstanding caper, this is a top Saturday flick.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am F1: The Chinese Grand Prix 8.30 Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 F 1: The Chinese Grand Prix 2.30 World Championship Snooker 4.30 Final Score 5.20 BBC News 5.30 South East Today 5.40 The Impressions Show With Culshaw And Stephenson

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Arthur 8.00 Fee Fi Fo Yum 8.30 Project Parent 9.00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 9.30 Serious Explorers: Livingstone 10.00 Relic: Guardians Of The Museum 10.30 League Of Super Evil 10.40 Wolverine And The X-Men 11.05 Mortified 11.25 Living With Cancer - A Newsround Special 11.45 MOTD Kickabout 12.00pm FILM: The Taming Of The Shrew (1967) 1.55 FILM: The Merchant Of Venice (2004) 4.00 Escape To The Country 4.30 World Championship Snooker 5.30 Flog It! 6.30 Dad’s Army Classic sitcom.

7.00 World Championship Snooker Live coverage of the concluding session of defending champion Neil Robertson’s first round match against Judd Trump.

7.50 Elizabeth Taylor: A Tribute Friends, family and co-stars share their memories of Elizabeth Taylor, the Hollywood icon who died last month. Famous for her many husbands, love of diamonds and her AIDS fundraising, the actress who won two film Oscars and was awarded an honourary Oscar for her humanitarian work, is celebrated.

8.50 Timewatch: In Shackleton’s Footsteps A small group of British men have some unfinished family business in Antarctica.

9.50 Frank Skinner’s Opinionated Comedian Frank Skinner hosts a topical comedy series. This time Frank is in Norwich with guests Ross Noble and Sarah Millican.

10.20 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Popular news quiz. Team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by guest host Stephen Mangan and guest panellists including Kevin Bridges.

11.05 Nurse Jackie Drama series.

11.35 Later... With Jools Holland Music and chat. With all the hip cats.

12.35am World Championship Snooker – Highlights 1.25 World Championship Snooker – Extra

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Spider-Man 7.55 Horrid Henry 8.10 The Cool Stuff Collective 8.35 The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody 9.00 Hannah Montana 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.45 This Morning: Saturday 12.45pm Monk 1.40 ITV News & Weather 1.50 New You’ve Been Framed! 2.20 FILM: Arthur (1981) 4.10 Meridian News And Weather 4.25 ITV News & Weather 4.40 FA Cup Semi-Final Live: Manchester City V Manchester United 7.20 Sing If You Can Keith Lemon and Stacey Solomon present a brand new star-studded singing competition. Each week, two celebrity teams go up against each other, trying to deliver the best performances of modern and classic hits while taking part in challenges designed to distract them. Can the stars hold their nerve while performing atop a specially designed erupting volcano, on an unstable high wire or having their chest waxed? A celebrity panel are there to pass judgement but it is the studio audience who decide which team will go through to the final round to try to win money for Teenage Cancer Trust.

8.20 Britain’s Got Talent See highlights.

9.50 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Russell Brand See highlights.

10.50 ITV News & Weather 11.05 FILM: Dreamcatcher (2002) Starring Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant. Fantasy horror in which four troubled friends on their annual hunting trip discover that the town they are visiting is being plagued by parasitic aliens. To make matters worse, a psychotic army colonel threatens to slaughter innocent individuals in order to destroy the extra-terrestrial invaders.

1.30am The Zone 3.35 Swingtown 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Dunlop MSA Formula Ford Championship Of Great Britain 2011 7.30 Mobil 1 The Grid 7.55 The Morning Line 8.50 Friends 9.20 Koko Pop 9.50 Friends 10.25 Glee 11.20 Great British Hairdresser 12.25pm The Big Bang Theory 12.50 The Big Bang Theory 1.20 That Paralympic Show 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 The Secret Supper Club 4.25 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.55 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Cookery-based show.

6.30 Channel 4 News 6.55 4thought.tv 7.00 River Cottage Every Day Hugh’s final theme is treats, as he prepares Genoese sponge cake, lemon curd muffins, game pies, real ginger beer and cheesy tarts.

8.00 FILM: The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Starring Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Dash Mihok and Jay Sanders. Sci-fi drama following the efforts of a climatologist on a mission to save the world from an immediate threat of global warming while also trying to reach his son in New York before the city is taken over by a new ice age. Gives you the willies.

10.20 Stand Up For The Week Satirical takes on the big stories and themes of the week, hosted by Kevin Bridges in front of a live audience.

Rich Hall, Jack Whitehall, Jon Richardson, Andi Osho and Josh Widdicombe add thier fourpenneth.

11.10 FILM: The War Of The Roses (1989) Starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito. Black comedy about a couple whose marriage break-up degenerates into a pitched battle.

1.20am Sex Secrets And Frankie Howerd 2.15 The Confession 2.20 Privileged (x2) 3.45 Ugly Betty 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Yo Gabba Gabba

6.00 – 7.50am Children’s television 7.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 Milkshake Monkey 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Play!

8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Zoo Days 10.40 The Gadget Show 11.05 NCIS 12.05pm Law And Order 1.05 FILM: Murder Ahoy (1964) 2.55 FILM: Guarding Tess (1994) 4.45 FILM: Private Benjamin (1980) 6.50 5 News Weekend 6.55 NCIS Drama series. Tony and Jeanne are held hostage in a morgue.

7.50 CSI: Grissom’s Greatest Drama. Catherine finds herself at odds with the district engineer when a building collapse claims three lives.

8.50 CSI: Miami Crime drama series.

The body of a woman who was to testify against Kyle is discovered at the bottom of the Everglades. Horatio finds evidence that implicates Kyle’s mother Julia in the crime. In her efforts to get Horatio to leave her alone, Julia starts digging for evidence against him in Brazil and manages to get him arrested for the murder of his wife’s killer. Crikey!

9.50 CSI: NY Crime drama series. An uncaught serial rapist is murdered in the same manner as his victims, leaving the CSIs conflicted about pursuing the vigilante who achieved justice where the police failed.

10.50 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Forensic drama series.

When a major Las Vegas player is found dead, Ecklie orders both CSI teams to investigate the case.

11.50 Cops In Crisis Documentary.

12.55am SuperCasino 4.00 Animal Rescue Squad 4.10 Nick’s Quest 4.35 HouseBusters 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Football League Weekend 10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00 Football’s Greatest 11.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.00pm Khan v McCloskey Countdown 12.30 LIVE Football: Scottish Cup Semi-Final 3.30 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 LIVE Super League 7.00 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 7.30 Scottish Cup Semi-Final 8.30 LIVE Spanish Football 11.30 Scottish Cup SemiFinal 12.30am Super League 2.00 Spanish Football 3.30 Scottish Cup Semi-Final 4.30 Spanish Football

6.10 Eurovision: Your Country Needs Blue Documentary following pop group Blue as they accept the challenge to represent their country this May at the Eurovision Song Contest in Dusseldorf. But to do well, they will need some help. In this special programme narrated by Graham Norton, the boys in Blue set out to turn their song into the perfect Eurovision entry.

7.10 So You Think You Can Dance Reality show in which dancers compete to be the next big thing. Cha cha cha!

8.10 The National Lottery: Secret Fortune The new quiz show hosted

by Nick Knowles. Plus numbers, dreams and torn up bits of paper.

9.00 Casualty Medical drama. The competition between Jordan and Miriam escalates when the gang vote on who they want to be Clinical Lead.

Can Jordan win a popularity contest?

9.50 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy from the world-famous Hammersmith Apollo. Al Murray hosts, before introducing guests Chris Addison and pun-meister Tim Vine.

10.20 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the Premier League.

11.35 The Football League Show Highlights and analysis from the Football League.

12.55am Weatherview 1.00 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics 6.30 Premier League Preview 7.00 Champions League Weekly 7.30 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 8.00 The Sky Sports Years 9.00 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Take It Like A Fan 12.30 The Sky Sports Years 1.30 Road To London 2.00 Khan v McCloskey Countdown 2.30 LIVE Leicester v Gloucester 5.00 LIVE Super Rugby 6.00 The Sky Sports Years 7.00 Champions League Weekly 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Sky Sports Classics 4.30 LIVE European Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football League Weekend 7.00 Super League 8.30 Road To London 9.00 WWE: Smackdown 11.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 12.00pm Masters Tennis 4.00 Road To London 4.30 Wild Spirits 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 PGA Tour Golf: Valero Texas Open 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am Premiership Rugby Union 2.30 European Tour Golf 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Max Power Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm A Different Breed 1.00 Modern Family (x5) 3.30 The Middle (x5) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop III (1993) 11.05 Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK 12.05am Road Wars 1.00 Customs UK (x2) 1.50 A Town Called Eureka

7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Doctor Who 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 9.50 FILM: Serendipity (2001) 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am American Dad! (x2) 12.40 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 1.30 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 4.25 Thailand: Tourism And The Truth Stacey Dooley Investigates

7.00pm Yellowstone 8.00 If Walls Could Talk: The History Of The Home 9.00 Spiral: The Butcher Of La Vallette (x2) 10.55 Twenty Twelve 11.25 Fanny Hill 12.25am Top Of The Pops: 1976 1.00 The Space Shuttle: A Horizon Guide 2.00 Yellowstone 3.00 If Walls Could Talk: The History Of The Home

2.40pm New You’ve Been Framed! 3.10 American Idol 4.10 Britain’s Got More Talent: Best & Worst (x3) 7.20 Fiddles, Cheats & Scams 8.20 Help! I Caught It Abroad 9.20 Life’s Funniest Moments 9.50 Britain’s Got More Talent 10.50 Celebrity Juice 11.35 FILM: American Pie (1999) 1.25am Britain’s Got Talent

6.55am Goodnight Sweetheart 7.35 George And Mildred 8.05 Upstairs, Downstairs (x2) 10.20 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 11.25 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x3) 5.55pm Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Midsomer Murders 11.05 Wycliffe 12.10am Inspector Morse 1.55 Film File

11.40am Supernanny US (x2) 1.25pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.00 Make It Or Break It 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.55 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.55 Friends (x2) 10.00 FILM: My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006) 11.50 The Cleveland Show 12.20am The Ricky Gervais Show 12.55 Bob’s Burgers

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x5) 2.40pm FILM: Damn The Defiant!

(1962) 4.40 Grand Designs 5.45 Grand Designs 6.45 Grand Designs 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 When The Moors Ruled In Europe 12.15am Time Team 1.20 When The Moors Ruled In Europe 4.00 Close

11.00am Drums Along The Mohawk (1939) 1.00pm Big (1988) 3.00 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953). See highlights. 4.50 A Room With A View (1986) 7.00 The Truman Show (1998) 9.00 Trading Places (1983) 11.15 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 1.15am Motorcycle Diaries (2004) 3.45 Close

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036_LS521_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 08/04/2011 12:14 Page 1

sunday 17 The Hotel Channel 4, 8pm A brand new documentary series, this time revealing behind-thescenes happenings at the Damson Dene, a typical threestar British holiday hotel. Kicking the series off with a bang are hotel guests Dan and Liz from Essex, out for a quiet break. And a marriage proposal! Liz doesn’t suspect a thing. How lovely.

The Walking Dead Five, 10pm It’s the second episode of this zombie post-apocalypse series so if you caught the first you should know by now to have a hiding cushion handy at all times. It really is quite scary! And not always with regards to the zombies, as Rick encounters a mixed bag of survivors and unwittingly traps them. Unhappy.

90210 E4, 7pm Beautiful teens in beautiful swimmers being a tad angstridden, but not enough to give them wrinkles. It’s always a popular recipe. This American drama keeps on running, which is just as well as Adrianna is after revenge, and tells Silver all about it. Naomi surprises herself with her reaction to a nerd. Fancy.

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6.00am Breakfast 7.00 F1: The Chinese Grand Prix 10.15 London Marathon 2011 2.00pm The Politics Show 3.05 F1: The Chinese Grand Prix 5.05 Points Of View 5.20 Songs Of Praise 5.55 BBC News

6.00am Finley The Fire Engine 6.10 Zigby 6.20 The Large Family 6.35 Little Robots 6.45 Charlie And Lola 6.55 One Minute Wonders 7.25 Match Of The Day 8.30 London Marathon 2011 10.15 MasterChef 11.15 Escape To The Country 12.15pm FILM: Alvarez Kelly (1966) 2.05 EastEnders 4.00 World Championship Snooker

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 The Cool Stuff Collective 7.55 Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 8.05 Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 8.20 SpongeBob SquarePants 8.35 Phineas And Ferb 9.00 Wizards Of Waverly Place 9.25 May The Best House Win 10.25 Sing If You Can 11.30 This Morning: Sunday 12.30pm Dinner Date 1.25 ITV News & Weather 1.30 Columbo: The Bye-Bye Sky High IQ Murder Case 3.00 Britain’s Got Talent 4.30 Midsomer Murders 6.30 Meridian News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 The Cube Phillip Schofield hosts the tense gameshow. Fitness instructor Luke looks set to give the Cube a run for its money in one of the most extraordinary contests to date – but can he manage to come out on top? Is a fitness instructor just a posh PE teacher? Questions need answers.

8.00 Lewis When a student dies during a clinical trial for a controversial new anti-depressant drug, is her death murder or suicide?

Lewis and Hathaway investigate and, as the body count rises, they uncover a web of lies, jealousy and madness – to which Lewis himself could fall victim.

10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 FA Cup Semi-Final Highlights Matt Smith and Andy Townsend present highlights from the weekend’s FA Cup semi-finals. The competition moves to Wembley, as Manchester Utd and Manchester City go head to head in a classic derby match.

11.15 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership Martin Bayfield and Craig Doyle present all the best action as the play-offs fast approach with plenty still to be decided at both ends of the table.

12.10am The Zone 2.00 FILM: A Mighty Wind (2003) 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.20am Sali Mali 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 The McCain Track And Field Show 7.20 Freesports On 4 7.45 Friends 8.15 Friends 8.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.20 Being N-Dubz In America And Beyond 11.55 Glee 12.55pm The Simpsons 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 2.25 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3.00 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3.35 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4.05 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4.35 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Time Team 6.30 Channel 4 News 6.55 4thought.tv 7.00 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality show.

8.00 The Hotel See highlights.

9.00 Country House Rescue Businesswoman Ruth Watson advises the owners of British stately homes how to diversify and raise money to secure the future of their properties.

Ruth visits Hill Place in Swanmore, Hampshire. Built in 1791 it is home to Will and Rebecca Dobson. The couple have given up their home and their jobs to put their all into making the house a success. No pressure then.

10.00 FILM: East Is East (1999) Starring Om Puri, Linda Bassett, Archie Panjabi, Emil Marwa, Chris Bisson. Comedy drama set in Manchester in the early 1970s focusing on the cultural tensions within an Anglo-Pakistani family, and, in particular, between the traditionalist father and his children.

Having married an English woman himself, the father is loathe to let his children follow the same path.

11.55 FILM: 3 Idiots (2009) Starring Aamir Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Madhavan and Sharman Joshi. Indian comedy drama in which two men embark on a quest for a lost friend.

2.50am Never Did Me Any Harm 3.45 The Play’s The Thing 4.45 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Yo Gabba Gabba

6.00 – 7.50am Children’s television 7.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Hana’s Helpline 8.35 Family!

8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 K9 10.35 OK! TV Sunday 11.35 Family Food Fight With Flora 12.05pm Ice Road Truckers 1.05 Emergency Bikers 2.00 FILM: Death Of A Gunfighter (1969) 3.55 FILM: Short Circuit (1986) 5.55 5 News Weekend 6.00 FILM: Big Daddy (1999) Starring Adam Sandler, Joey Adams, Jon Stewart. Comedy about an idle law graduate who does not want to grow up. One day, in an attempt to prove to his girlfriend that he can be mature, he lies in order to adopt a child. Zany, eh?

7.40 FILM: Spider-Man (2002) Starring Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco and Cliff Robertson. Live action adaptation of the Marvel comic strip about an alienated teen who is bitten by a genetically altered spider during a school outing and subsequently develops superhuman powers. As he endeavours to come to terms with his new-found abilities, he is also forced to contend with a maniac villain known as the Green Goblin. Why do baddies sounds like cocktails?

10.00 The Walking Dead See highlights.

11.05 FILM: Single White Female (1992) Starring Bridget Fonda, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Steven Weber, Peter Friedman. Psychological thriller in which a woman’s devotion to her new flatmate turns into murderous jealousy.

1.10am SuperCasino 4.00 Animal Rescue Squad 4.10 Five VOD Europa League Football Highlights 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake!

Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00am Football First: Match Choice 7.30 Football First: Match Choice 9.00 Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE Football: Scottish Cup Semi-Final 3.00 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Spanish Football 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

6.05 South East Today 6.15 Land Girls The period drama series returns with added spice, as new girl Connie – young, brash and sexy with the voice of an angel – arrives on the farm. This is bad news for young mum Bea, as her husband Billy is on Connie’s radar.

7.00 Countryfile The programme visits St Andrews on Scotland’s east coast, the ancient home of golf and where Prince William met his brideto-be. Kate something-or-other?

8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team revisit Hatfield House in Hertfordshire.

9.00 Britain’s Royal Weddings Britain’s Royal Weddings. We’ve had a few.

10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Does Christianity Have A Future? According to some, Christianity in the UK has no future.

Closure of churches and falling attendances in the last few decades appear to show that the Christian faith is in terminal decline. Ann Widdecombe examines the evidence.

11.25 FILM: Absolute Power (1997) Starring Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman, Ed Harris, Laura Linney.

Thriller about a burglar who witnesses a murder.

1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: MasterChef 2.25 Holby City 3.25 Men Of Rock 4.25 BBC News

6.00 London Marathon 2011 – Highlights Running lots.

7.00 Alex Higgins: The People’s Champion This poignant documentary charts the life of the snooker genius, from his early days growing up in Belfast to his climb to the top of the sport as two-time world champion and finally, his last days spent battling a terminal illness.

8.00 The Secrets Of Scott’s Hut Ben Fogle ventures across the frozen wastes of the Antarctic to join the international effort to preserve Captain Scott’s hut and its artefacts for future generations.

9.30 Alaska: The Arctic Man Ski And Sno-Go Classic Ed Leigh and Graham Bell travel to Alaska to take part in Arctic Man, one of the toughest alpine sport competitions in the world. Each year, 15,000 spectators descend upon Summit Lake, a remote town deep in the Alaskan wilderness with a population of seven people, to watch the event.

10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of the day’s matches.

10.50 FILM: Apocalypto (2007) Starring Rudy Youngblood. Epic historical adventure tale set against the backdrop of a Mayan civilisation falling into a decline.

1.00am World Championship Snooker – Highlights 1.50 World Championship Snooker – Extra 3.50 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Live European Tour Golf 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 The Sky Sports Years 10.00 Leicester v Gloucester Highlights 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Super Rugby 2.00 Sailing: Barcelona World Race 2011 2.30 The Sky Sports Years 3.30 Super League 5.00 Super Rugby 7.00 Scottish Cup Semi-Final 8.00 Masters Tennis 10.00 Sailing: Barcelona World Race 2011 10.30 Super Rugby 12.30am Scottish Cup Semi-Final 1.30 Masters Tennis 3.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Spanish Football 7.30 WWE: Vintage Collection 8.30 WWE: Afterburn 9.30 Masters Tennis 11.30 Super League 1.00pm Masters Tennis 3.30 Sailing: Barcelona World Race 2011 4.00 Road To London 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 Emirates T20 Cricket 6.00 PGA Tour Golf: Valero Texas Open 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am Racemax 2.00 IndyCar Series 4.00 Close

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12.00pm Modern Family (x5) 2.30 The Middle (x5) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Live To Dance: Finale 7.00 The Middle 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 Raising Hope 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Hawaii Five0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 House 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Gangster Wives 1.50 A Town Called Eureka

7.00pm Formula 1: The Chinese Grand Prix 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Police Academy UK 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 White Van Man 12.00am Police Academy UK 1.00 Botox Britain: Your Face In Their Hands 1.55 White Van Man 2.25 Is Breast Best? Cherry Healey Investigates

7.00pm The Great Estate: The Rise & Fall Of The Council House 8.00 Amazing Gracie: The Gracie Fields Story 9.00 Gracie!

10.20 Spitfire Women 11.20 Robert Plant: By Myself 12.20am Robert Plant: Electric Prom 1.20 Amazing Gracie: The Gracie Fields Story 2.20 Gracie!

1.30pm American Idol (x2) 4.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.30 Britain’s Got More Talent 5.30 The Cube: Celebrity Special 6.30 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 8.00 Kerry Katona 9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Russell Brand 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.45 FILM: Batman Forever (1995) 1.10am Kerry Katona

8.10am Heartbeat (x2) 10.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.35 A Touch Of Frost 1.50pm Inspector Morse 3.55 The Turn Of The Screw 5.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7.55 Mr Bean (x2) 9.00 FILM: Fierce Creatures (1997) 10.55 FILM: The Constant Gardener (2005) 1.25am Lewis 3.00 Film File

12.05pm Wife Swap 1.05 Supernanny US (x2) 2.50 Make It Or Break It 3.50 FILM: Bride And Prejudice (2004) 6.00 Friends 7.00 90210. See highlights. 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Being Erica 11.55 The 100 Greatest Stand Ups 2010 1.55am Wife Swap 2.40 Switched (x2)

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.35 Scrapheap Challenge (x4) 1.50pm Coach Trip (x5) 4.25 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 8.00 River Cottage Every Day 9.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 10.00 Eight Boys And Wanting A Girl 11.10 Father Ted 11.40 Spaced 12.10am The IT Crowd

11.00am Blithe Spirit (1945) 12.50pm 4Films For... 1.00 Planet Of The Apes (1968) 3.10 Carry On Sergeant (1958) 4.50 Batman (1966) 6.50 Grease (1978) 9.00 Brassed Off (1996) 11.05 M*A*S*H (1970) 1.20am La Regle Du Jeu (1939) 3.30 Close

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monday 18 Help! My House Is Infested Channel 4, 8pm Sarah Beeny is good at being the person you’d want on hand should you ever have home trouble you need fixing. Now she’s expanding her helping benefits by teaming up with some expert pest-busters to come to the rescue of screaming homeowners (well, maybe not screaming but in distress). Bless.

The Reckoning ITV1, 9pm Brilliant! Two of our favourite actors in the form of Max Beesley and Ashley Jensen star in this new two-part drama, keeping Mondays interesting. It’s a moral dilemma as cashstrapped single mum Sally is bequeathed five million quid on the condition that she kills someone who deserves to die.

Hell’s Kitchen USA Finale ITV2, 9pm It’s the final of the cooking competition, and everyone knows that it’s the beginning and the end that matters with these shows.

Fab viewing time! The two finalists are taken to LA Market, where the winner will work, and told to cook five dishes for a taste test. Then they’ve got an evening service to provide. So tense!

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Gastronuts 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Sadie J 4.30 Blue Peter 4.55 Shaun The Sheep 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 6.55 Party Election Broadcast By The Labour Party 7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex Jones bring you the stories that matter from across the country.

7.30 Bang Goes The Theory Series putting science to the test.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Kat and Alfie are left reeling by the previous night’s shocking events, while an increasingly unstable Ronnie attempts to explain her actions.

8.30 The Trillion Dollar Con-Man: Panorama Panorama tracks down a fraudster who stole a football club and broke a bank. With his tales of foreign gold and assets worth two trillion dollars, the con-man fooled politicians, celebrities and the city.

9.00 Motorway Cops Documentary series following the work of the motorway police.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz.

11.05 Late Kick Off Mark Chapman presents the football magazine show.

11.35 The Graham Norton Show Repeat of Friday’s show.

12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: MasterChef 1.25 Watchdog 2.25 Arctic With Bruce Parry 3.25 Baking Made Easy 3.55 BBC News

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Copycats 8.30 LazyTown 8.55 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 9.05 The Koala Brothers 9.20 Guess With Jess 9.30 Big And Small 9.50 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.05 Mighty-Mites 10.20 Green Balloon Club Goes On Holiday 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The Pink Panther Show 12.00pm Animal Park 12.30 World Championship Snooker 5.10 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.55 Party Election Broadcast By The Labour Party 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu It’s the battle of the North West chefs – Bruno Birkbeck, Johnnie Mountain and Lisa Allen.

7.00 World Championship Snooker Balls and maths’ angles.

8.00 Railway Walks Julia Bradbury walks along the stunning Mawddach estuary in north Wales.

8.30 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets Raymond celebrates the freshest summer greens. Beginning with a simple yet vibrant pistou soup, laden with summer vegetables and bursting with basil, topped with crispy croutons and meltingly rich parmesan. Yum, yum, yum.

9.00 Fix My Family Fix My Family.

10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz.

Hosted by actor Martin Freeman, with team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding. Guests include Martha Wainwright, Charlie Brooker, star of The Inbetweeners Simon Bird, and the return of Dappy from N-Dubz.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Island Parish Chronicle of life in an island parish.

11.50 World Championship Snooker – Highlights Snooker stuff. 12.40am World Championship Snooker - Extra 2.40 BBC News 3.15 The Super League Show 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: Science 1 - Physics

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 The Hoobs 7.10 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.10 Frasier 8.40 Friends 9.10 Wife Swap USA 10.05 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Relocation, Relocation 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Make Do And Mend 12.30 Come Dine With Me 1.05 Come Dine With Me 1.35 Come Dine With Me 2.05 Come Dine With Me 2.35 Come Dine With Me 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Fern 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren tries to help Nancy out while she’s revising but ends up being more of a hindrance.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Help! My House Is Infested See highlights.

9.00 Meet The Middletons Documentary about Kate Middleton’s relatives, exploring the life she might have lived but for a few twists of fate. The film reveals the surprising family background of the woman who will one day be Queen. From Kate’s working class mining ancestors in the North East to a whole generation of wealthy industrialists’ sons wiped out in World War I, a story about the last hundred years of social aspiration and social mobility in Britain is revealed. With contributions from Kate’s 99-year-old great aunt Alice.

10.00 FILM: Hostage (2005) Starring Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollak. Action drama. A former hostage negotiatorturned-small-town cop finds himself unable to escape his past when a gang attempts to burgle the home of a local wealthy accountant, holding him and his two children captive.

12.10am Green Day: Awesome Live 12.45 PokerStars.com European Poker Tour 1.40 The SS 2.35 Empire 3.30 Warlords 4.25 Codex 5.10 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.35 Ugly Betty

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Olivia 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.05 Bridezillas 12.05pm The Family Recipe 12.10 5 News Lunchtime 12.20 House 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Vanessa Show 3.05 Chinese Food In Minutes 3.15 FILM: First Daughter (1999) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Immigration officers arrive to question Grace and Elijah about their relationship.

6.25 OK! TV Pretty self-explanatory.

7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Discover how clothing can be manufactured to withstand the extreme temperatures of a blast furnace. It’s all clever stuff.

8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex answers an SOS call from Jon Sweeney, owner of the First In Last Out, a 17th century pub and B&B in Winchester that has been plagued by poor reviews.

10.00 The Rainman Twins: Extraordinary People Savantism is a rare disorder in which sufferers of developmental disabilities are capable of acts of genius. In Flo and Kay’s case, they each have extraordinary memories for facts and dates. Through interviews with several medical professionals, the film attempts to expose the truth behind this misunderstood condition.

11.00 FILM: Private Benjamin (1980) Starring Goldie Hawn, Eileen Brennan. Light-hearted story of a widow who joins the army.

1.10am SuperCasino 4.00 Meals In Moments 4.10 How Not To Decorate 4.55 Rough Guide To Bang For Your Buck 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Spanish Football 12.00pm Scottish Cup Semi-Final 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.30 Spanish Football 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Netbusters 6.00 The Sky Sports Years 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 10.00 PFA Awards 2011 11.00 Barclays Premier League Review 12.00am The Sky Sports Years 1.00 Netbusters 1.30 Football League: Championship 3.00 Netbusters 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron and Hazel are troubled by Jackson’s reaction to his illness.

7.30 Coronation Street Maria unburdens herself to Chris – which leads to an angry confrontation with Frank. There are bad men about.

8.00 The Dales In this episode, Adrian Edmondson meets Ann Chapman, a real-life Vicar of Dibley who looks after four rural Dales churches.

8.30 Coronation Street Carla pushes Maria to the point of no return. Not so nice ladies either.

9.00 The Reckoning See highlights.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Real Crime With Mark Austin: Murder Of A Father In August 2007 the nation was shocked by the murder of Garry Newlove, who was punched and kicked to death by drunken yobs in front of his three young daughters outside his home in Warrington, Cheshire. The death sparked a national debate about alcohol-related antisocial behaviour.

Now his widow Helen and their daughters speak for the first time.

11.35 River Monsters Last in series.

12.30am The Zone 2.35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 Jeremy Kyle: Morning Surgery 5.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Sailing: Barcelona World Race 2011 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 PGA Tour Golf: Valero Texas Open 1.00pm European Tour Golf 3.00 Premiership Rugby Union 4.30 Super League 6.00 Kings Of The Snow 6.30 NASCAR Highlights 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Boots ‘n‘ All: The Tries 11.00 Elite League Speedway 1.00am European Tour Golf 2.00 PGA Tour Golf: Valero Texas Open 3.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 4.30 PGA Tour Classic 5.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 9.00am Masters Tennis 11.00 Aerobics 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Super League 1.30 Champions League Weekly 2.00 Barcelona World Race 2.30 IndyCar Series 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Great Run Series 7.30 Rotax Max National Championships 8.00 Emirates T20 Cricket 9.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 10.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 2.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 Wild Spirits 4.45 Close Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

3.00pm The Lion Man (x2) 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Futurama 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Glenn Martin, DDS 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 The Top Ten Show 10.10 Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena 11.25 School Of Hard Knocks 12.30am Customs UK

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 The Gatwick Baby: Abandoned At Birth 9.00 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Bizarre ER 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 The Undercover Princes 12.45am Gavin And Stacey (x2) 1.45 Bizarre ER 2.15 Don’t Tell The Bride 3.10 The Undercover Princes

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Rain 8.30 The Beauty Of Diagrams 9.00 The Gene Code 10.00 Twenty Twelve 10.30 Lead Balloon 11.00 Rubicon 11.45 Lead Balloon 12.25am Horizon: Are We Still Evolving? 1.25 Twenty Twelve 1.55 Rain 2.55 The Gene Code 3.55 Twenty Twelve

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x2) 6.30 Britain’s Got Talent 8.00 Kerry Katona 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA Finale. See highlights. 10.00 Russell Brand Uncut: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 11.30 Celebrity Juice 12.15am Coronation Street (x2)

2.00pm Monarch Of The Glen 3.05 The Darling Buds Of May 4.15 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.20 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Monarch Of The Glen 8.00 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 The Secret Caribbean With Trevor McDonald 10.00 Wire In The Blood 12.00am Numb3rs 12.55 Swingtown

12.15pm Wildfire 1.10 Privileged 2.05 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Ugly Betty 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Glee 10.00 Great British Hairdresser 11.00 Beauty And The Geek 12.00am My Name Is Earl (x2) 12.55 Ugly Betty 1.40 Being Erica

3.35pm Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 Relocation: Phil Down Under 10.00 Hugh’s Fish Fight 11.05 The Daily Show 11.40 Unreported World 12.05am Relocation: Phil Down Under

11.00am Oliver Twist (1948) 1.15pm All About Eve (1950) 3.55 Howards End (1992) 6.45 4Films For... 6.50 The Straight Story (1999) 9.00 The Godfather (1972) 12.20am Hunger (2008) 2.10 Beautiful Thing (1996) 4.00 Close

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