Latest 7 No. 512

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

Brighton Lights

H jobs H news H food H listings H tv guide H

Victoria Nangle gets talking with Sam Riley and the rest of the stars of the fantastic new Brighton Rock film at its dazzling European premiere...

thelatest.tv

8 – 14 February 2011

FREE WEEKLY

Heart of gold Stylishly romantic love tokens from Jeremy Hoye in our Valentine’s special page 17

DANIEL SLOSS The young comedian who’s got Jimmy Carr talking BOURGEOIS & MAURICE The cabaret stars on their Valentine’s Day show WIN! Tickets to see Stephen K Amos at Theatre Royal Brighton

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2011

CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

NEWS & COMMENT 04 Latest People Star bash at The Engineerium, Stephen Fry’s degree, Global Cool fashion workshop, photography at Spinelli 07 News & Jobs Radio masterclass, knitwear for Brighton bus stop, work to improve the city’s streets, plus council leader Mary Mears on Chinese New Year 08 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters, emails and website comments 10 Sport Mark Brailsford on BHAFC’s winning atmosphere 12 Bare Cheek Bare Cheek Lights and the nude challenge 12 Competitions Tickets to see Stephen K Amos; Roll Deep; Buried on DVD 13 City Speak Ruby fights fire with fire, Tasha has a ‘flaw’ in her perfection, and Will spots a familiar infatuation 14 Snapshots Brighton fashion designer Gresham Blake 15 Celebcity Fatboy Slim, Phats & Small, Orbital and Jared Leto

8–14 FEBRUARY

>online

>on tv

thelatest.co.uk

thelatest.tv

It’s been an exciting few weeks in Brighton, what with the European premiere of a blockbuster film right on our doorstep, a huge celeb bash at The Engineerium in Hove, and love in the air (everywhere you look around) as Valentine’s Day approaches! If that’s not enough to fill you with warmth, then we don’t know what will! Well, how about tickets to see comedian Stephen K Amos in his new show? Laughter is the best medicine, after all. It’s all right here in this packed Valentine’s special – all of which can be read online at www.thelatest.co.uk/7. If you’re a Brighton band looking for exposure then log onto the Latest Brighton Download Chart and submit your track.

The top 30 downloaded songs appear in the magazine every week. Want to comment on our articles? Do it all online. Have you been voting for what makes Brighton rock? It’s your last chance to have your say. See Latest News for info. Have a loved-up week! www.thelatest.co.uk/7

L7 INTERVIEW LIFESTYLE 17 Cover feature Stunning jewellery from Jeremy Hoye 17 Valentine’s special Ideas for dining out (and in!), Valentine’s shows, pampering beauty treatments and relationship help 21 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink; Hotlist Sussex Food & Drink Awards winners and news!

17 Health & Beauty The best beauty and fashion buys for Valentine’s Day

24 Reviews Richard Thompson, Viva La France and Esben & The Witch 25 Bookings Kate Nash, Beady Eye, The Big Ballet UK Tour 25 Latest Brighton Download Chart This week’s Number One is...

26 Latest Previews The Go! Team’s Ian Parton, comedy at The Quadrant, Bourgeois & Maurice interviewed!

30 Stars Your weekly horoscope with Val Aviv 30 TV Highlights & Listings New show Outcasts; seven-day TV listings Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Administration Claire Peerless

t

Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Sales Natasha Prochaski Carla Read Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker

Daniel Sloss

Brighton Lights

11 Young comic Daniel Sloss on Jimmy Carr, Rob Brydon, Justin Bieber and what his friends really think of him

WHAT’S ON

John Hurt

17 www.facebook.com/latest7

Comedy, music or clubs?

L7

Find out what’s going on in Brighton while you’re on the move with comprehensive listings straight to your mobile phone

m.thelatest.co.uk Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Rachel Junior Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Music Listings Nick Aldwinckle

Design Anand Day Andrew Wright Editorial Assistant Laura Hayward

Illustrators Lili Bé Paul Lewis Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

It’s great living in Brighton. We’re visited by fantastic movie stars and famous comedians in their flocks. At least that’s how it felt when we scooted along to the European premiere of Brighton Rock at the Duke of York’s Picturehouse to catch all the glitterati and have a chat with the stars and the director of the most recent interpretation of that Graham Greene book. Never ones to rest, we also dashed off to meet hilarious young comic Daniel Sloss [for more Sloss-action see p11]. Just 20 years old, Sloss has already had a sold-out Edinburgh show, written gags for Frankie Boyle, and recorded his own TV pilot. After warming up with The Michael McIntyre Roadshow and Comedy Rocks With Jason Manford we reckoned he was ready for Brighton Lights. Catch all this and more in this week’s show.

Watch Brighton Lights at thelatest.tv presented, as always, by Val Aviv. If you’d like to get involved then come on down to the Latest MusicBar every Tuesday at 5.30pm.

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01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

004_005_LS512_Latest People_Social Diary 04/02/2011 14:53 Page 2

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LATEST PEOPLE

latest PEOPLE A decade of design

Brighton Rock premiere, Stephen Fry’s degree, photography at Spinelli, Gresham Blake’s 10th anniversary bash; Global Cool’s fashion workshop

Phil & Paul Hartnoll, Orbital

Fashion designer Gresham Blake came up with the idea to celebrate the 10th anniversary of his business with a celebrity party together with DJ Phats at The British Engineerium in Hove. The venue, a Victorian pumping station which was turned into an industrial museum, proved a huge hit with the 300 guests. Star performances came from Norman Cook, Phats & Small, and Orbital, together with a fashion show. (See also Celeb City, p15, and our special profile of Gresham Blake in Snapshots, p14.)

Gresham Blake, 20 Bond Street, Brighton Photos: Patrick Kneath

(Latest 7) Matt Robinson. Andrew Kay

Norman Cook

Stephen Fry accepting the applause after receiving his honorary degree from Simon Fanshawe and Sanjeev Bhaskar

Stephen Fry’s degree Stephen Fry has been awarded an honorary degree from the University Of Sussex for campaigning for people living with bipolar disorder, mental health problems, and HIV and Aids. He was presented with his honorary degree

by Simon Fanshawe, Chair of Council, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Chancellor and Vice Chancellor Michael Farthing. The ceremony, held at the Corn Exchange in Brighton, was attended by 1,000 graduands for the University Of Sussex’s Winter Graduation.

Photos: Patrick Kneath

Stephen Fry, Simon Fanshawe, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Chancellor, Sussex University, Councillor Geoff Wells, Mayor of Brighton

Simon Fanshawe, Stephen Fry

All things Brighton

DJ Jason Phats

Simon Fanshawe. Sanjeev Bhaskar, Chancellor of Sussex University. Stephen Fry. Michael Farthing, Vice Chancellor.

John McCann

Spinelli Coffee on College Road, Kemp Town, hosted a launch party for their exhibition of work by Kay SusanneMCPhotography. The photography, which captures all things Brighton, will be exhibited in the coffee house until 27 February, and return in May for the Artists Open Houses. Kay SusanneMC Photography can be contacted by email on kay_susanne@live.co.uk Photos: Spinelli

Carol Torres (owner, Spinelli Coffee) with Tomasz Smieja

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Vicky Nangle (Latest 7/Latest TV), Sam Riley

LATEST PEOPLE 05

Andrea Riseborough, Rowan Joffe, Sam Riley

Rowan Joffe, Sam Riley. Andrea Riseborough, John Hurt

John Hurt

Brighton Rock premiere A little piece of Hollywood came to the Duke Of York’s Picturehouse in Brighton on Wednesday 26 January when three of the stars of the new Brighton Rock film arrived on the red carpet for the film’s European premiere. Sam Riley (Pinkie), Andrea Riseborough (Rose) and John Hurt (Phil Corkery) were joined

by Brighton Rock director Rowan Joffe.

Duke Of York’s Picturehouse, 0871 902 5728 Photos: Patrick Kneath

PUBLIC NOTICE

Claire Culley

THE LICENSING ACT 2003 MINOR VARIATION OF PREMISES LICENCE/CLUB PREMISES CERTIFICATE Regulation 26A Notice TO : WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Leila Mckellar & Sarah Maddox

Fashion with a conscience Green lifestyle organisation, Global Cool, is keen to ‘Turn up the style, Turn down the heat™’ by encouraging people to dress warmly and fashionably as opposed to blasting their heaters unnecessarily. Global Cool and the team of stylists from Just Sew Brighton demonstrated how to refashion much-loved jumpers from drab to fab in a fashion workshop held in the Regency Suite at The Old Ship Hotel on 25 January. www.globalcool.org Photos: Patrick Kneath

I, Anthony Jaffe of Old Courtroom Productions Ltd, do hereby give notice that it is my intention to apply to Brighton & Hove City Council in the county of East Sussex for the minor variation of a premises licence or club premises certificate to use or permit the use of the premises known as The Old Courtroom, 118 Church Street, Brighton, BN1 1UD for the following minor variation will be carried on, on or from the premises Producing and hosting performances for The Brighton Fringe Festival 2011.

Any person who desires to make a representation to the minor variation should send to Assistant Director, Public Safety, Health & Safety Licensing, Bartholomew House, Bartholomew Square, Brighton BN1 1JP, no later than 28 February 2011, a brief written statement of his/her objection. The register and records of applications may on the council’s website via www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/licensing or at the above council office during normal office hours subject to an appointment being made.

It is an offence knowingly or recklessly to make a false statement in connection with an application and the maximum fine for which a person is liable on summary conviction for the offence is currently £5000 [level 5].

Dated this 27th day of January 2011 Signed: Anthony Jaffe

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Brighton & Hove’s best opportunities and employers FINANCIAL SERVICES

CUSTOMER SERVICE

• Finance Officer in Brighton Brighton Dome £17,000 Brighton Dome & Festival Ltd is looking to recruit a full-time Finance Officer. Responsibilities include operational processing function, purchase and sales ledgers. Brighton Dome & Festival presents a year round mixed programme of music, dance and theatre at three venues within Brighton Dome as well as the internationally recognised Brighton Festival taking plcae annually in May.

• Customer Service German Speaker in Brighton American Express £Negotiable This role is focused on providing excellent customer service to our German business travel clients. American Express, the largest privatesector employer in Brighton & Hove, is a diversified worldwide travel, financial and network services company founded in 1850.

• Recruitment Consultant (Insurance) in Brighton or Crawley Search Consultancy £Negotiable Here at Search we are looking for experienced recruiters to join our insurance team. You will account manage existing clients and develop new business. We are one of the UK’s fastest growing total recruitment companies. With 11 sites throughout the country, we offer candidates and clients a range of specialist recruitment services.

SALES • Account Manager Alpine Recruitment Ltd £7 - £8 per hour OTE To promote our clients range of building consultancy services via the telephone in order to achieve individual and team targets. Alpine Recruitment Ltd are resourcing specialists adding up to over 20 years executive experience within the HR and recruitment sector.

PUBLIC SECTOR • Library Assistant based at Langney East Sussex County Council £13,658 - £15,732 We have a vacancy for a proactive, self-motivated and flexible person to work at Langney Library, and on occasions will be required to work in libraries within East Sussex. Working with us means that you can make a difference to the lives of local people on a daily basis. Perhaps the most important benefit of working at the Council is the knowledge that you're working to help others.

IT & TELECOMS • Software Developer in Worthing First Recruitment Services £21,000 - £23,000 Using the in house development tools to modify the core product for client specific as well as in-house configuration projects. We like to think we know a thing or two about creating a happy working environment. For permanent career positions or temporary assignments there is simply no better place to come.

For more details and to find many more opportunities, please visit brightonandhovejobs.com and please mention BrightonandHoveJobs.com when you apply!

e. info@brightonandhovejobs.com w. www.brightonandhovejobs.com t. 01273 872 287

The only online jobs board to exclusively support and promote the city where it is based BrightonandHoveJobs.com offers • Unbeatable online advertising rates • Hundreds of jobs, updated constantly • Brighton based team • Specific to Brighton & Hove and the commutable areas • National candidate reach • Jobs from all sectors • Full time, part time and temp opportunities • Training for everyone (employed or unemployed) • Free CV filtering facility

Advertise your jobs with us

from just £49 + VAT www.brightonandhovejobs.com Best City • Best Jobs • Best Employers

Top Media Jobs Supporting digital media in Brighton and Sussex Nearly 2000 companies and freelancers are Wired Sussex Members and we work with them to support the development of a successful regional digital cluster. Based in Brighton, we deliver a wide range of services, initiatives and networks designed to assist our Members both individually and collectively.

Whether you are looking to recruit (or find a new job!), get trained, find out about digital events and news in the region, or access new clients or investment, then we can help.

Brighton and Sussex Digital & Media Jobs Looking to find work in digital media? The Wired Sussex Jobs Board is the perfect place to start your search. With new vacancies added every day, our Jobs Board is full of digital media, marketing, web and development positions.

Whether you're trying to break in to digital or you’re looking for a senior position you'll find the best jobs on Wired Sussex. All the vacancies on our Jobs Board are posted by Wired Sussex Member companies.

Brighton-based meeting room space available The Skiff offers friendly, professional and good value meeting room space in the heat of Brighton’s North Laine, just five minutes walk from Brighton train station. Coworking desk space and workshop space also available. For further details, please contact Luke Hay on 01273 692888 or email luke@wiredsussex.com

Find out more about these and other vacancies: www.wiredsussex.com/jobs Follow us on twitter: @wiredsussexjobs

PRODUCT MANAGER (SOFTWARE) - WPM EDUCATION, BURGESS HILL WPM Education is the leader in the field of e-payment solutions for the higher and further education sectors. Our 100 clients use our systems to process fee payments, manage instalment plans, sell conferences, short courses and take payment for graduation ceremonies. This role pulls together our development requirements for our core products. Through allowing us to properly prioritise and schedule developments to ensure we are providing the best return for the company and our clients.

USER INTERFACE (UI)/ USER EXPERIENCE (UX) DESIGNER - WPM EDUCATION, BURGESS HILL WPM Education are seeking an experienced UI/UX Designer to join their expanding team. This is a key role entailing responsibility for the requirements gathering, analysis, and design of user interfaces for software applications produced by the company. This role entails ownership of standards applicable to the user interface element of software development; the analysis and design of the user interfaces; production of supporting documentation; unit testing/code review; version control, etc. Strong verbal/written communication skills are a pre-requisite for this role due to the considerable interaction required with the development teams.

PHP DEVELOPER - 3RD EYE VISION LTD, HOVE Working for an award winning end to end Digital Agency. A salary offered between £25-35k depending on experience. If you have approximately two years experience in LAMP technologies, Web 2.0 frameworks, Cloud environments, you could have a chance to join their busy and growing business.

SENIOR MEDIA SALES/ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE - MOUSETRAP MEDIA LTD, BRIGHTON Expanding Brighton-based online publisher of the market-leading news and recruitment site for journalists, Journalism.co.uk, seeks online Senior Media Sales/Account Executive. You will sell display advertising, event sponsorship and their PressGo press release publishing service Journalism.co.uk. The job will suit a bright, web-literate and keen graduate (non-grads will be considered), with good sales and/or marketing experience. Salary £20-25k (experience depending) plus commission.

008_LS512_news_council_PhilMills_editorial 04/02/2011 10:09 Page 2

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08 LATEST NEWS

L7 News

7

days of headlines with Phil Mills

Supermarket sweep; Brighton Centre conferences; work to improve city streets

M

ore supermarkets are bringing us cheap, quality food at reasonable prices and accessible at any time of night or day – and on pretty much any day of the year – but where is it all leading?

That’s the question representatives of the biggest stores, local shopkeepers, councillors and the public are to discuss at a conference called by Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears.

There is a threat to small local shops, but there is something more profound. With a threatened world food shortage and empty shelves appearing in increasing numbers of regions around the world, it is a profound question worthy of serious debate.

They could begin the discussion by focusing on Hollingbury in Brighton where a small Co-op in the Carden Avenue parade of shops and a large Asda nearby in Crowhurst Road are to be joined by a Sainsburys in the old Snipe pub and a Marks & Spencer food hall at the old MFI. All four are within an easy walk of one another.

The stores clearly see a demand that will pay back their investment but is there more afoot here? Is the increasing demand a sign we are becoming increasingly addicted to buying and consuming food? What

do you think? Email comment@thelatest.co.uk There was good news for the local economy with the announcement that three new conferences worth over £2m to the economy have been booked into the Brighton Centre.

The events were won in successful joint bids by the venue and the council’s tourism arm VisitBrighton.

The health visitors’ body, the CPHVA, will be holding its annual conference on 19–20 October this year and returning again on 7–8 November 2012. The Royal College of Midwives’ annual conference will be held on 15–16 November 2011, and around 1,150 delegates are expected at the three events, which will earn the city an estimated £2.1m.

The council, meanwhile, has brought together transport operators, urban designers, residents and local businesses to share ideas on improving the streets leading from Brighton Station.

The group has been asked to draw up ideas that reflect the aspirations of the city and will

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on Chinese New Year

O

n Sunday I had the great pleasure of being invited to attend the Chinese New Year celebrations (Year of the Rabbit) at Hove Town Hall, and what a fantastic day it was!

The main event was a spectacularly colourful affair with dancing, lights and dragons. It was great to see so many local schools and clubs involved in the performances. There is a large and thriving Chinese community in Brighton and Hove, and the new year celebrations are always a wonderful showcase of their culture and traditions. We were lucky enough to be joined

make the station area a more welcoming and attractive introduction to the city.

Alongside the design aspect, the council is working with partners to draw up a programme of investment. The aspirations and ideas from the meeting will form the basis of consultation with the wider community.

In other news, Steven Wilson, 36, aka ‘Dollar’, was jailed for 20 years at Hove Crown Court for rape, kidnap and drugs offences against the same woman.

Offences started when she was a young teenager.

She said: “Finally I can now have closure on this dark chapter of my life and be able to move on. I am pleased that justice has been done and want to thank all of the witnesses that have given evidence. I also would like to thank the anti-victimisation unit at Sussex Police for all of their hard and continuous support.”

Detective Constable Lindsey Valder-Davis said: “This case was a catalogue of horrific domestic incidents at the hands of Wilson.

Justice has been done for the victim and we hope that other victims of domestic violence will come forward to police or to the women’s refuge project, ‘Rise’, which can be contacted on 01273 622822.”

The happiest news was nonleague Crawley’s FA Cup win against Torquay and a draw against mighty Manchester United in the fifth round. Brighton And Hove Albion’s progress in the competition sees them in the next round against Stoke.

What are the odds on a Crawley Reds V Albion Blues final?

Do we really need all these supermarkets in the city?

comment@thelatest.co.uk follow me on twitter

by a representative of the Chinese High Commission and also Tim Loughton MP, the Government Minister for Children and Families.

The new year celebrations were organised by the Chinese Educational Development Project for the last 10 years and their motto – “Bridging the Cultural Gap Between China and Britain” – says everything about what they are trying to achieve. Another organisation doing brilliant work in breaking down barriers between communities is the Brighton & Hove Chinese Society who are staging several events across the city as part of the new year celebrations.

Another community with reason to celebrate recently is that served by the Whitehawk Inn. They have just received £367,000 from the Big Lottery Fund to support the work they do in

latest7news

latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Dear Mr Mills, I write in response to your article regarding the visit of the Labour Leader [LS510].

Firstly, the venue was moved from the Brighthelm Centre to Hove Town Hall because of the response from those people invited; this was not a public meeting. The choice was to complete the questionnaire online and/or attend the meeting. There were approximately 300 people present and a waiting list of over 200. I was there so I feel qualified to comment. It was lively and informative: Mr Milliband took about 60 questions from the audience, alone and unscripted. He answered all of the questions comprehensively and was very well received by the audience.

Joyce Howfield, via email

We would like to inform readers of an exciting new sporting venue planned for the Brighton and Hove area. The council are considering an application to make Brighton Climbing Centre part of a 2,500m2 multi-sport facility in the old Flexer Sacks factory off Boundary Road.

Members of the public can add to MP Mike Weatherley’s backing for the project by logging on to brightonclimbingcentre.co.uk and sending a message of support direct to the council’s planning department.

With up to 16m high climbing walls, indoor ski and snowboarding machines, and a gym, the new sporting venue will serve as a vibrant gateway development on the western approach to the city and make perfect use of a building which has been empty for a decade.

Sean Field and Cassandra Hoffman-Kazlauskas, via email Email comment@thelatest.co.uk or write to us (see Contents)

helping the long-term unemployed in some of the more deprived eastern parts of the city. This will be a huge boost for them and is a truly life-changing sum for a voluntary organisation such as this.

Finally, I’m delighted to say that Brighton & Hove City Council is now one of only three local authorities in the country to be awarded the highest possible standard in the Equality Framework for Local Government. The award recognises our outstanding equal opportunities approach: providing fair and accessible services for everyone, while also combating all forms of discrimination. This achievement is no less than a diverse city such as Brighton and Hove deserves but the recognition is hugely welcome nonetheless.

009_LS512_citycollegenews_editorial 04/02/2011 10:26 Page 1

latest brighton the digital capital of europe

L7 NEWS

LATEST NEWS 09 Heart Breakfast Show with Tom and Lynsay, conducted a twenty minute assembly where he answered questions put to him by the whole of the Junior School. The girls questioned him on everything from his working hours to his favourite breakfast cereal.

Then the Year 5 girls were given a quick demonstration of how to speak into the microphone, before they recorded their very own radio broadcasts, which they had prepared in groups the day before.

L7 NEWS in brief >Chilli Pickle relocates

Brighton’s favourite Indian restaurant, The Chilli Pickle, will soon be opening the doors to their brand new restaurant at Myhotel Brighton. The restaurant plans to open in March, serving a mixture of authentic and contemporary Indian food. The new venue will allow The Chilli Pickle to offer up to 115 covers.

Owner and head chef, Alun Sperring said: “We have had a great time over the last two and a half years and we’ll be taking some wonderful memories with us."

>Daleks in Brighton

OVER THE AIRWAVES

Students present their own radio show in Heart’s Kids Academy

J

ack the Lad and the Heart Angels from local radio station Heart FM Sussex and Surrey, came to Burgess Hill School for Girls on Tuesday 25 January to show Year 5 pupils how to be Breakfast Radio Show presenters.

The crew were invited by Year 5 teacher, Miss Charissa Armitage,

Electric vehicles Two Brighton businesses are going green by taking advantage of a new council scheme to switch to electric vehicles.

Lawrence Art Supplies and Swat Marketing are the first to do so and will be able to charge their cars for free at two of the council’s new charging points.

These are located near Brighton Town Hall and The Level, with more being considered on Madeira Drive and Withdean Road.

Martin Lawrence of Lawrence Art Supplies said: “I bought the car for £2,500 and use it because it’s environmentally friendly with very cheap insurance and no road tax or MoT.” Martin uses a 1947 Brush pony vintage milk float, whereas Darren Kis of Swat Marketing has switched to a more modern Mega van.

Darren said: “This [van] cost me £7000, new they are about £13,500. I’m now saving about £2000 a year in fuel costs so it’s

who applied at the request of two enthusiastic students. Two weeks later, there was a phone call to say Heart had chosen Burgess Hill School to take part in the next Heart Kids Academy, giving the girls the opportunity to take part in a radio broadcast.

Jack “the Lad”, who presents the

Miss Armitage said: “The girls had a fantastic day and learned lots at the same time.”

Burgess Hill School’s staff and pupils would like to thank the Heart FM Sussex and Surrey crew and Jack for a educational experience which gave the whole of the Junior School an insight into the life of a Heart FM Breakfast Radio Presenter.

The girls’ broadcasts are all available to listen to online on the Heart FM website at: http://www.heart.co.uk/sussex/win /kids-academy

Make Brighton rock The public has until Monday 14 February to vote for their favourite idea on how to make Brighton rock. Ideas submitted to the Make Brighton Rock (www.makebrightonrock.com) website are getting a lot of positive feedback.

Areas include travel, education and safety.

The current idea at the top of the leaderboard is for a permanent ice rink in the city. A market for Madeira Drive is second. The Market idea is that of Steve Capon who says: “Black Rock is a greatly underused area of town. If there was some kind of market there, which could span the gap between Brighton Aquarium, shops/cafés on Madeira Drive along to the Marina, it could become a great link for local people, tourists, and businesses alike. It would also regenerate interest in the playground, the lift on the esplanade, and most importantly, the Volks Railway. People should support the idea because the criteria for what makes Brighton rock is something that could be easily set up, but also would regenerate lots of interest in a part of town that is sadly becoming forgotten. This would also help small local businesses and get people walking along a great part of the Brighton promenade, so in essence, the answer lays at Black Rock, so let’s get it rocking!” going to pay for itself quickly.”

Both men are helping a council drive to get more businesses using electric vehicles. Registration is free for the first 25 applicants. Both the parking and the electricity used to charge up the cars will be free during a trial period. To register call 01273 704775 or email users@elektromotive.com

This Friday 11 February, Daleks will be at Churchill Square Shopping Centre! The public are invited to come along and interact with the extraterrestrial mutants from popular BBC television series Doctor Who. This special treat is in celebration of Brighton Modelworld’s 33rd anniversary. The 2011 exhibition will be held at the Brighton Centre Friday 18–Sunday 20 February 2011.

>Knitted bus stops

Waiting for a bus has got a bit more colourful on Brighton seafront!

Passengers waiting at the bus stop opposite the Ship Hotel will have noticed the bus stop’s knitted winter jacket. The cheerful stitching is the handiwork of Alan Moon of Cocoon Knits in George Street, Hove. The Woolly Bus mission is to yarn bomb a double-decker bus to raise money for The Martlet’s Hospice. Knitters are invited to get their needles out to create the 4,000 squares needed to cover the bus. It is hoped every knitter will raise at least £25 sponsorship for each of their squares with all profits going to the hospice. The project will be completed in August. For more information visit www.cocoonknits.co.uk

>Fines for parents

Parents in Brighton and Hove could face prosecution if they fail to make sure their children attend school regularly. Two cases have already been brought before Brighton Magistrates Court under Section 444 of the Education Act. The first parent was of a 15 year old who had only been to 32 per cent of lessons. The second was of a 15 year old who had an attendance of 57 per cent but this fell to 53 per cent this academic year. Both parents were fined £350 with £250 costs and £15 victim surcharge, which is an additional levy that goes to support victims of other crimes. Councillor Vanessa Brown, Cabinet Member for Children & Young People, said: “The council will prosecute parents who continually fail to fulfil their legal responsibility.”

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News contributors: Chris Dyer, Alice Neal, Laura Hayward, Sarah Wade

010_LS512_Sport_editorial 04/02/2011 14:13 Page 2

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SPORT

Up the Albion!

Watford supporters may point to their second string goalkeeper’s mistake with the goal and a couple of their first team players sitting out of the game as the reason they lost, but Mark Brailsford takes in the atmosphere the Albion had no less than six star players sitting out of the match.

FA CUP HANGOVER Equally, to say there were six After an excellent victory against Colchester and a tremendous victory over ‘stars’ missing would be unfair to Watford in the FA Cup, the Albion had a bit of a cup hangover away at Leyton the team that won the cup-tie. The Orient with a 0-0 draw. However, the Albion are still flying high with a couple players who played in the Watford of games in hand over our rivals in the league, even though all our rivals match were not mere reserves won their games while Orient held The Seagulls at Brisbane Road. sent in to ‘do a job’, these are all The three-point gap at the time of writing does look slim though, and quality first team players in a it’s all well and good to have games in hand, but you need to convert rotating squad full of talented players. them into points.

Tommy Elphick was immense at the The great news on this front is that Elliott Bennett is staying with the back, Ashley Barnes scored the winner and club, which gives great cause for optimism as the positive crowd worked tirelessly up front for the team, and Liam reaction to him at the Leyton Orient game showed. If Bennett had left for Bridcutt had his best game in a blue and white shirt. I would go so far as Norwich City, who sorely tested Tony Bloom’s to say that he looked nothing less than Premier resolve with no less than three offers for the League class although he was looking “You can’t beat an Albion player, the mood of the supporters would have understandably jaded on Tuesday at Orient. been despondency, and the team might have felt away game for atmosphere” Glen Murray had a similar cup hangover too, this. But with Bennett staying it’s like having a but put in a fine performance against Watford. new signing, which will give everyone a boost He also was understandably a little off the just when it’s needed. pace on Tuesday, and his contract situation is the only concern on the transfer front now that Bennett is staying.

WHAT AN ATMOSPHERE It seems a shame to single out players like this though, as any team is Was it comedian Russ Abbot who sang “What An Atmosphere”? The always greater than the sum of its parts. All the evidence points to a Watford goalkeeper might want to consider switching to a career in finely balanced squad that looks like finishing the job and winning comedy after his howler gifted Albion the winner in the cup. But seriously, promotion once they get over the midweek blip – one that still meant the the lasting memory of a fabulous FA Cup win at Watford was the team’s Albion had a point away to Orient and a prized clean sheet. To be fair to tremendous footballing display and the fantastic away support. You can’t Leyton Orient, they got their tactics right, and with no less than three beat an Albion away game for atmosphere. No doubt about it, The Seagulls former Albion players in their team, it was clear that tactical nous had deserved to win, so to end up being drawn away to Stoke City for the next been added to this knowledge and kept Albion from playing their natural round felt very deflating after such a satisfying victory. The Watford game passing game. The pitch didn’t help, either. Win your games at home – get was a very enjoyable game to watch with The Albion looking more than a point away is the maxim in football if you want to win promotion. As the equal to a quality Championship side who are in contention for the playcrowd reminded the players at the end of the match, we are top of the offs to the Premier League. league! Carry on, lads.

011_LS512_interview_011_LS466_interview 04/02/2011 09:34 Page 1

L7 INTERVIEW 11

PIc: Piotr Emanuel Dorosz

“Michael Mcintyre and Rob Brydon have both called me: “sickeningly talented and young”, which I kinda like...” my first gig at The Stand in Edinburgh on the 30th September, which was 19 days after I turned 17.

The reason I count that date as my first gig is because it’s a real comedy club, so it was a proper one. The gig I did when I was 16 was dreadful. It was for, like, seven people, and it was just five minutes of me talking about w*****g.

TEENAGE

Ahead of his new show, comic Daniel Sloss talks celebrity insults, female attention, and good hair with Victoria Nangle

B

efore Daniel Sloss was out of his teens he’d written and performed a bestselling Edinburgh Festival show, written gags for Frankie Boyle on Mock The Week, and recorded his own TV pilot. You may have also seen him on such TV shows as The Michael McIntyre Roadshow, Live At The Apollo and 8 Out Of 10 Cats – and he only turned 20 on 11 September last year. He’s not unaware of the significance of the date of his birthday, either. So what’s left? What’s next? And will his head fit through the door of Komedia? Luckily he’s got his mates on hand...

So you’re the person out of your friends who doesn't have a proper job and gets to travel the world and have a career?

Yeah, they kind of hate me.

[Laughing] I was going to ask you that! Do you ever feel like you’re going to flash the cash and walk straight into a club that you guys can’t get into?

Oh no, no, it’s nowhere near like that.

The one thing I kinda like is that my

best mate, regardless of what I do on television, he’ll just send me a text saying, ‘well, you’re still a ****.’ He doesn’t care, it doesn’t affect him at all. Little bits of fame mean nothing to them. To them I’m still the dickhead who they get to take the piss out of. It doesn’t matter what I do.

Do you have a favourite quote that’s been written about you, like a mad story, or something that someone’s said which is really nice, and you've gone ‘oh that’s so good!’?

Jimmy Carr called me a lanky streak of piss once, which I kinda liked. We were talking about weight and he said, “You’re like a lanky streak of piss”, and I was like, “yay!”. It’s one of my dreams to be insulted by Jimmy Carr.

Michael Mcintyre and Rob Brydon have both called me: “sickeningly talented and young”, which is the kind of compliment I like. It’s a compliment, but they hate you throughout it.

How old were you when you did your first gig?

Well, technically I was 16, but I don’t count that gig as my first gig. I count

PIc: Steve Ullathorne

GIGS

What do you hope for your 20th year?

People are going, oh, he’s 20 now, he’s not the teenage comedian and he’s not going to do jokes about this stuff and that stuff, and it’s like, I just turned 20!

I’m not getting brain surgery, I’m not gonna change who I am. When I was young I did so many jokes about being young and masturbating and that’s what a lot of critics go on about. They said, “Oh, he only does the jokes about being young and youth and stuff”, and complain about it when I do it, but when black comics do jokes about being black, when Indian comics do jokes about being Indian, when female comics do jokes about being female, when fat comics do jokes about being fat, when married comics do jokes about being married, that’s fine. That’s a new thing. But when a young comedian does jokes about being young, that’s being clichéd. No, **** you. I think you’ll find stand-up comedy is about doing what you know.

It’s always about doing what you know; you can’t call any comic clichéd unless he’s obviously doing stuff that is not true to him. All my jokes were about being young because I was young. This is what I genuinely thought at the time. And that’s why I look forward to seeing where my stand up is going to grow with me, through the different experiences I have. Most of my jokes are true to home.

How do you deal with people coming up to you in clubs who recognise you? Do you get a fair bit of female attention?

Yeah, that's a weird thing! Now, it’s one of these things where I genuinely never considered myself

attractive. When I was young, I always thought I was quite cute.

When I was in Primary 7 there were quite a few girls who thought I was cute, and I had a bowl cut and I looked like the kid from Home Alone.

Then I went to Higher School where no-one knew me, and I was single for, like, four years, and not through lack of trying. I wanted a girlfriend, I really wanted to be in a relationship.

It was just rejection after rejection. It wasn’t necessarily, “Ugh, I'm not going out with you!”, but “you’re more of a friend” type thing, which is the excuse women do which they think doesn’t hurt a man’s feelings.

She was like, “I like you, but you'll never see my bits”, and then I kind of got it in to my own head, “Oh, I'm probably just average looking, then”.

And then, once the telly stuff started coming on, beforehand I got myself an absolutely stunning girlfriend, whose way out of my league – but she doesn’t know that, so that’s handy. And then, like you say, a lot of attention from all these gorgeous, sexy girls and you think, “Where were you four years ago?!”

It’s weird and absolutely flattering. I really don’t see it. My girlfriend finds me attractive, my mum thinks I’m quite cute, and that’s good enough for me. After four years of being rejected, I don’t really see it and I don’t put any effort into what I look like. With my hair, people go, “Oh you must put a lot of effort into your hair”. My hair is naturally like this. I don’t straighten my hair.

Every morning, I run it through the shower, I don’t dry it, I don’t brush it.

And then it just falls down the way it is. I’ve had different hairdressers going, “Oh, I wish I had your hair”.

It’s just naturally like this. I don't mean to look like Justin Bieber because he's a ****.

When people call you ‘lucky’, do you get annoyed because of how much work you’ve actually done?

Yeah, my mum said that. She said, “Oh, you're a lucky bastard.” Yeah, I am incredible lucky; a lot of the chances I’ve had have been through luck – my agent was pure luck and a lot of the stuff I’ve been on was luck.

But what a lot of people don’t tend to realise is the luck part of it is only the opportunity to do it: you don’t luck on to a television show, you luck onto the chance to do it. When I get an opportunity I put a lot of effort into it, so I have been incredibly lucky in a lot of sense, but I’ve also worked for it, and it doesn’t really annoy me because even though part of it is fate, I have been incredibly lucky. I fully understand why they say that. I’ll be the first person who will come back to say that I have been terribly lucky with my career, but I think it is 50 per cent luck, 49 per cent my agent, and 1 per cent me.

Is your agent sitting next to you? (laughing) No, no. When she reads this she’ll be pissed off she’s not 50 per cent.

Daniel Sloss, Komedia, 16 February, 7pm, £9.50/8.50

012_LS512_Bare Cheek/comps_000_LS467_cheeky/stars 04/02/2011 14:36 Page 2

12 ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Bare Cheek Lights Yes! Don’t miss the latest edition of Bare Cheek TV, available only on YouTube. The TV show that deals with local matters in a fun and exciting way!

THIS WEEK: Brailsford On Bangers: The Treason Show despot on the huge variety of sausages – from hotdogs to halal – available from Brighton’s butchers.

Chicken curry, anyone?

No, we’re not joking!

Ellison Wonderland: Chris Ellison talks about his favourite parts of Brighton. This week: Harry Ramsden’s.

Mouthing Off: No. 81A bus driver Barney Fletcher’s spirited take on disability allowance.

A Book By Its Cover Eminent Irish novelist John Banville discusses his life’s work with Cherry Shakewell.

Bramwell’s About The local polymath, Cheeky Guide impresario, and world's “only thin Doncasterian”

investigates the weird and wonderful. This week, an Aldrington coven who worship Charlie Drake/Benny Hill/Honey Monster straight man Henry McGee and believe that he will return to earth in 2013, ushering in a new era of technological wonder. Of course, Bramwell’s made all this up, you know. Not a word of it’s true. Just like all the other stuff he goes on about. It’s all lies.

Atters On Batters: Is a beer batter better for cod than the more traditional non-beer-based variety?

Local self-proclaimed “chap” Michael “Atters” Attree risks singeing his sole marketable delineating characteristic to investigate.

Brailsford On Burgers: The Treason Show Absolute Monarch on the huge

variety of burgers – from cheese to bacon – available from Brighton’s burger bars. Blue cheese and pineapple anyone? No, we’re not joking!

variety of bread rolls – from poppy seed to wholemeal – available from Brighton’s bakers. Parsnip and sledgehammer anyone? Yes, actually he is joking about that one.

City Lowdown: Charlotte Lucas on why Brighton’s Belisha Beacons can mess with your aura.

NEXT WEEK: Eubanks For The Memories: An entire show devoted to erstwhile resident boxer, eccentric, paving-slabreplacement nut, Chris Eubank. The latter-day, pugilistic Terry Thomas will revisit some of the scenes of his most memorable incidents – including the time his monster truck got stuck on East Street, and when his beach fireworks display maimed two women. Plus music by someone who’s on Bill Smith’s record label.

F-F-F-F-Fashion: 17-year-olds Alexia and Dyspraxia report on the Sallis Benney’s annual undergraduate fashion show. Is it soon to become a fixture to rival Paris and Milan? Probably not, no.

Brailsford On Baps: The Treason Show Totalitarian on the huge

What we used to say The Bare Cheek nude challenge Which Basil is Brian Mitchell imagining with no clothes on in this photograph? a) Toni Basil b) Sir Basil from The Herbs c) Basil the Great d) Basil Dearden e) Basil the Great Mouse Detective f) Sir Basil Spence Send your answer on a postcard to Bare Cheek c/o The Latest, and you could win a signed photograph (of Brian Mitchell).

An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms.

WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Robust” Bizarre, somewhat rococo adjective, seemingly selected at random, and used by present day politicians and journalists to suggest sturdiness or vigour. “Mr Cameron has issued a robust denial to suggestions that his government is systematically attempting to destroy this country.”

WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Strong”

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

COMPETITIONS ROLL DEEP AT CONCORDE 2

Pioneers of grime Roll Deep return with their new single ‘Good Times’ released earlier this year, heralding a new era for the London collective. Bag yourself a pair of tickets to see these grimesters at Brighton’s Concorde 2 on Friday 25 February. Still boasting original talents plus guest vocalist Jodie Connor creating a memorable hook over the Roll Deep attitude, pushing new boundaries and giving exciting promise. Love grime? Answer this...

Q Which ‘Rascal’ is an ex-member of Roll Deep?

BURIED ON DVD

Ever wondered what it would be like to be buried in an enclosed space beneath 2,500 pounds of soil, with only 90 minutes of oxygen left to breathe and your only connection to the outside world is a mysterious cell phone with limited reception and battery life? Well, Ryan Reynolds has come pretty close playing the role of Paul Conroy in terrifying thriller Buried (out on DVD & Blu-ray on 14 Feb).

This is a hellish nightmare of survival. Enter if you dare!

Q Who plays the character of Paul Conroy?

STEPHEN K AMOS: THE BEST MEDICINE

Have you been feeling a tad peaky of late or a touch under the weather? No probs! We have a lovely dose of funny-man lovely Stephen K

Amos with his special brand of melt-in-themiddle comedy, to cheer us up and show what has just been medically proven: that laughter really is the best medicine.

Stephen had a fantabulous 2010, his last tour played to 60,000, and, let’s face it, he was on just about every TV show going. So if you’re up for laughing your little cottons off, win a pair of tickets to see the ultimate bobby dazzler on 6 March. No prescription necessary.

Q Who discovered penicillin?

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email.

Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 21 February.

013_LS512_cityspeak_Editorial 04/02/2011 12:27 Page 1

latest brighton the digital capital of europe

CITY SPEAK

Teen Spirit

Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw fights fire with fire

Tasha Dhanraj finds balance in the universe

I

C

am glad I am not alone in level. Michael went into disco objecting to having to endure mode (circa 1970 I imagine; what other people’s noise. I mean the a thought), leaping and singing strident mobile phone and wey-heying as he went along conversation from the young girl the pavement. Unfortunately, it letting everyone know that she is had no effect on the young man. on the bus, has reached The Another time, on a train, a Steine, and will soon be at young lad opposite him began a Churchill Square. Or the stuttering loud conversation on his mobile, of an iPod, issuing in bursts from and M found it impossible to the person sitting next to you on concentrate on his book. So he the train, as though a family of began to read from it, out loud, mosquitoes were trying to escape to the whole carriage, and only from their ears. Particularly stopped when the telephone annoying is conversation the booming finished. beat, blasting He had to “He began to read out from a recommence passing car, reading out from his book, out loud, which can loud when make one to the whole carriage” a second jump in fright. passenger I had been answered putting each new annoying noise another call in a deafening voice. down as just another entry on the Again, this had no effect so I growing list of moans of a grumpy thought his book choice might old lady. Then I met another have something to do with it. I sufferer at my creative writing suggested he carry a spare book class last week in Seaford, and specifically for the purpose – okay, M is nearly my age, but he is something like Belle de Jour, or a bloke and someone whom I’ve anything by Jilly Cooper might do always considered to be a it. I don’t think E.M. Forster’s tolerant, laid-back sort of guy.

Aspects Of The Novel had the right M informed us that he has taken ring to it. to fighting back on the intrusive I wish I had the courage to do noise front by joining in and this myself. I am working myself returning each annoying noise up to it. So if you see me reading with one of his own. For instance, out loud on the 5B, please look as he was walking along St around for the naughty mobile Leonard’s High Street, he was phone caller and enjoy my followed by a young man playing reading. Don’t send for the his smartphone at a high decibel men in white coats.

Will Harris on a familiar infatuation

I

t was like an explosion. When Nadia stopped by the home of an old friend and the door was opened by Jawline Boy, she knew in her heart that powerful cosmic forces were at work. “Have you met my new flatmate? This is...”

“Oh, we’ve met,” she breezed, strutting past him into the lounge.

Technically they hadn’t met, but since she’d spent more university lectures staring dreamily at his profile than she had actually being educated, she figured this was no time to play coy. Fate had spoken, and Nadia would waste no time in composing her reply. Six hours later, they were in bed.

(She relates this to me over ramen, while a lone businessman beside us reads page 126 of his Stieg Larsson over and over. “Do you have a photo?” I ask.) When Nadia told her girlfriends what had happened, they all asked to see a photo. As Jawline Boy was smokin’ hot – and since his Facebook page was seared into her Blackberry’s memory from multiple views – she was happy to oblige. They agreed he was stunning.

“But...” Habibi’s pretty brow crinkled. “Does he remind you of someone?” They crowded round the phone. “James Franco, right?” said Nadia, who is inclined to optimism. “Around the eyebrows?” “Are you trippin’?” said Habibi. “Nah, he looks like...

Tariq, isn’t it? He looks like your brother.”

all me four-eyes. I am now a so often as there’s no point in certified speccy. I have just covering my eyes in make-up been diagnosed as long when they are behind a shield of sighted. I guess if you can have glass. I was quite tempted to get a any kind of eye impediment then pair of those thick-framed glasses being long sighted is the best one. that irritating hipsters seem to I am so good at seeing things far wear in an attempt to be cool. I away that my eyes have decided would wear them, but with actual that looking at things close to me eye-adjusting lenses inside – is too easy. Therefore, they no reclaiming the thick rims for nerds longer bother. everywhere!

I mentioned last week that I had I think they make me look more my mocks. The sophisticated. thing I found I think I need to most tiresome look intelligent. about them was “It isn’t fair that I already believe that after 15 everyone in my some people have minutes during class thinks each exam I that I am imperfections, while I would get a stupid... killer headache I’m not going am simply awesome that would last to tell anyone and perfect in for the duration at college about of it, and this it, and then one every way” would also day just turn happen with up wearing revising. I put glasses. A bit this down to stress, but it turns like when you get a new haircut out it was because my eyes are a and you hope everyone notices, bit broken. except this time, if someone asks My optician said that the only me when I got glasses I will just reason I had any problem at all look puzzled and tell them I was because I had been studying always wore glasses. so much, which I have taken to I think me needing glasses is mean that the International the universe implementing justice.

Baccalaureate has made me long It isn’t fair that some people sighted. This gives me further wander around with reason to hate it. imperfections, while I am simply I now have to wear glasses for awesome and perfect in every reading and using the computer. I way. I needed to have some kind don’t mind. It gives me an excuse of flaw to make up for how to not wear eyeliner and mascara amazing I am.

It was like an explosion. All it took was one innocent comment from a friend and Nadia’s brain turned against her, taking that jawline she’d lusted after for so long and beating her around the head with it; taking those eyebrows and stuffing them down her throat. How hadn’t she seen the resemblance before?

She felt sick.

“If blood is thicker than water and stronger than Martini, then there could be no future for them” (“That’s totally irrational,” I say. “Just because...”

But Nadia’s palm in my face interrupts me: “You’re an only child.”)

You can do this, she thought, when her next date with Jawline Boy arrived.

It’s not a problem. Just because he looks a bit like Tariq, that doesn’t make him Tariq. He’s not Tariq. She repeated it like a Buddhist mantra, all the way through one cab ride, two Martinis and 76 minutes of the new Danny Boyle movie. In fact, she was still repeating it when, up on screen, James Franco glanced down at her, winked, and turned into her brother. Then he cut off his own arm. Nadia screamed.

Later, she would pass it off as a bad reaction to the booze, and Jawline Boy would face a long walk home, unkissed and confused.

Nadia didn’t know what the universe was trying to tell her, but she did know – if blood is not only thicker than water but stronger than Martini too – there could be no future for them. Besides, if she followed Fate on this one, she’d never be able to look her brother in the eyebrows again. follow me on twitter

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Illustration: Paul Lewis www.pointlessrhino.com

William Tells

13

014_LS512_snapshots_Editorial 04/02/2011 08:50 Page 2

latest brighton the digital capital of europe

14 SNAP SHOTS

Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Fashion designer Gresham Blake

“

I like mixing old details with modern pieces and I also like longevity, things that are built to last. This spring we are going to introduce some clean looking jeans which are being made in the UK using Japanese selvedge denim, which is one of the finest and most rare on the market. Later in the summer, I’ll be designing jeans for men and women. Right now we are working on a collection of tonic mohair suits, new bespoke leather jackets, and a new range of woven shirts with the different colours of the rainbow.

The new additions to the ladies' collection this spring are shoes and a new range of geometrical and colourful prints for the dresses.

”

Gresham Blake, in his shop choosing a tie for Valentine’s Day with his wife, Fal. Gresham is one of the leading innovative tailors of the present day, running exclusive shops in London’s South Molton Street and Brighton’s Bond Street. Gresham launched his company in 2000. His clients include Jimmy Page, Norman Cook, Ray Winstone, Tracey Emin, Steve Coogan and Christian Slater.

Specialising in Savile Row inspired tailoring with a rock star twist and ample use of fabulous fabrics, Gresham’s success comes from his attention to detail combined with unique skill and creative flair. Look out for his trademark features such as flowery linings and gold and silver sleeve buttons.

For more info: www.greshamblake.com

FOR THE BEST TV, FILM AND VIDEO AT THE MOST AFFORDABLE PRICES LATEST TV 01273 687171 (Angi) or 07834 222342 (Bill) Check out thelatest.tv to see the quality of our work

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015_LS512_celebcity_Celebcity 04/02/2011 14:08 Page 1

CELEBCITY 15

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Star bash at The Engineerium with Phats & Small, Jared Leto at Moshi Moshi, & reality TV’s new BFFs

THE REALITY OF FRIENDSHIP Spotted in Revenge: two of the best loved TV reality stars, winner of Big Brother 2010 Josie Gibson (who was spending a birthday weekend in Brighton with four friends) and runner up of last year’s X-Factor, Rebecca Ferguson. The pair hit it off after Rebecca performed at the nightclub. I am told the pair stayed till the early hours comparing reality notes!

SPOTTE

D!

treated to a superb live performance by dance duo Orbital in what was probably one of their smallest gigs in 15 years! The finale, however, was left to our very own superstar, DJ Norman Cook, who treated us to a cornucopia of Latin beats and even a smidgen of the Gummy Bear song in there, too (my seven year old would have been proud).

Everyone in the room was dressed to impress, with most wearing bespoke Gresham Blake (of course), including most of the celebs!

See more pictures from the evening in Latest People, p4. For more on Gresham Blake, see Snapshots, p14.

US supers eating solo tar Jared Leto at Moshi M from the sushi belt os are a few fehi. I’m sure there m would’ve be ale fans who en keep him co happy to mpany!

Pics: Simon Green Photography www.simongreenphotography.co.uk

Phats the way

L

ast Saturday saw what was easily the best party of 2011 (I know it’s only February but it was pretty darn good!) as two of Brighton’s best, Jason Phats and Gresham Blake, threw a joint 10th anniversary bash. The venue was the stunning backdrop of The Hove Engineerium, which provided a brilliant atmosphere to the night’s events. I attended with Channel 4 newsreader Krishnan Guru-Murthy and his gorgeous wife Lisa (who was having a rare night off from looking after their two little ones), and actor friend Emil Amwa, who is currently starring on the big screen with pal Jimi Mistry in the sequel to East Is East – snappily titled West Is West. Also in tow were some of my mates from the Rottingdean massive: Fiona, Andy and two French friends Sandrine and Jean-Michel.

The evening kicked off with a faultless performance by Mitch Winehouse, the 60 year crooner and dad of Amy. Mitch performed some legendary tracks from his album Rush Of Love. His mix of jazz, swing and crooning sounded amazing. Mitch even got some of the guests to sing along and guest Vanessa Feltz filled in for the second versIon of ‘Girl From Ipanema’! Mitch comes from a musical heritage that has passed on down the line. As well as Amy, his son Alex is also an accomplished guitarist.

Next came a very special performance by Phats and Small who were also celebrating 10 years in business. The pair gave us a great performance of their classic hit ‘Turnaround’. Singer Ben Ofoedu, boyfriend of radio presenter Vanessa Feltz, blasted out two songs with his massively powerful voice.

Jason Phats then took over the decks and played live to a fantastic catwalk show of Gresham’s latest looks to a very over excited crowd. We were then

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

follow me on twitter

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10% service will be added.

Valid Sunday through to Thursday until end of February 2011 excluding bank holidays and Valentines Day. Only one voucher per table.

Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

016-017_LS512_Valentines J Hoye_Layout 1 04/02/2011 15:48 Page 1

16

VALENTINE’S DAY

Gift vouchers for Valentine’s available

Valentine Special

BUY 2 PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES OR GLASSES & GET 25% OFF THE SECOND PAIR 25 East Street, Brighton, East Sussex BN1 1HL 01273 737578 • www.davidclulow.com * Please mention this advert to qualify Offer valid until 14th February 2011 T&Cs apply. Ask instore for details.

Experience fish therapy – the popular natural pedicure method from Turkish spas, now available in Brighton We also do: foot massage, body massage, Indian head massage, hot lava stone therapy

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016-017_LS512_Valentines J Hoye_Layout 1 04/02/2011 15:49 Page 2

Valentine Special

COVER FEATURE 17

Heart of gold Express your love this Valentine’s Day with a romantic gift from Jeremy Hoye

Triffid heart pave set necklace, £215

V

alentine’s Day is the time of year we all want to show someone we love just how much we care.

Restaurants across Brighton will be packed to the brim with couples huddling over candlelit tables sharing wine, romantic gestures and thoughtful gifts.

Jewellery designer Jeremy Hoye has taken inspiration from the great words of Keats: “Love is my religion, and I would die for that”, and brought back the ‘old romantic’ cherub charm.

For a limited time only and back by popular demand, the beautiful sculpture-like charm is available in silver and 18ct gold. Only 10 have been made so hurry while stocks last.

Indulge in the romantic-red and pretty-pink pearl necklaces spilling out of the cabinets; a heartfelt secret message engraved and locked up within an enchanting heart locket from the popular Entwine collection; Sweetheart charm necklaces with ornate heart padlock and key; and build your own and add a personal touch with the variety of colourful semi-precious beads.

Toffee the shetland pony charm £50 Sweetheart padlock & key necklace, £145

Jeremy Hoye is renowned for his unique contemporary flare within his designs. The charms are fast becoming collectable pieces. Mini sets of five are regularly added to the collection, the newest being Horse & Pony including Toffee the Shetland pony, Star the circus horse, Pegasus, Wild, and Carousel Horse – named by Jeremy’s daughter. These exquisite charms will look fantastic hanging on a necklace or dangling off your wrist on a charm bracelet. They are available to buy online or from the Brighton store this month.

For all those men scratching their heads trying to come up with a more off-the-cuff idea but still keeping within the Valentine’s Day theme, Jeremy Hoye’s Triffid collection is beautiful but slightly more leftfield. Design inspiration is taken from crystallised rock and features a stunning statement piece pave set silver heart on multi chains, available in silver.

Jeremy has also produced a variation of the necklace: a one-off silver piece set with 0.60pt white diamonds. As desirable as it is dramatic, this one of a kind item will surely have you in the good books for a very, very long time.

For the ultimate luxury shopping experience, visit the Jeremy Hoye store were you will be welcomed by friendly staff, happy to help and guide you through your options.

A Valentine’s Day card is for the moment; there is no better way to say I love you than with a gift you can treasure forever.

Jeremy Hoye, 22a Ship Street, Brighton, BN1 1AD, 0845 094 3175. www.jeremy-hoye.com

Be my Valentine Make Valentine’s Day magical with Latest 7’s guide to the most romantic day of the year

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hop windows are adorned with red hearts, florists have stocked up with roses, and food shops have displays of chocolates and champagne at the forefront. It must be February! Cupid’s arrow has struck and love is in the air. Cards filled with romantic sentiment are sent from loved ones and secret admirers alike. Spring is just out of reach so it’s great to get caught up in the romance of Valentine’s Day and have something to celebrate. In anticipation of showering your loved with gifts and making this year a Valentine’s Day to remember, we have put together a special guide on the different ways to celebrate this 14 February.

From dining out and a romantic night dining in, to relaxing spa treatments to an extravagant Valentine’s Ball, it’s all right here. This isn’t just for the lovers out there; singletons and friends can also enjoy these luxury treats. And if you need a change of direction this Valentine’s Day, then be sure to check out ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ in Brighton.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Asase Garra Rufa Spa Asase Garra Rufa Spa is the place in Brighton to experience Fish Therapy – the popular natural pedicure method derived from Turkish hot springs. Couples can enjoy a treatment together where feet are placed in a double tank filled with tiny garra rufa fish.

These small fish eat away the dead skin, causing a light tickling sensation as they work. Healthy skin is left untouched and feet are left soft, supple and refreshed. Fish Therapy is the latest craze in beauty treatments and makes for a wonderful Valentine’s Day experience for couples to enjoy. Regular pedicures and relaxing treatments including massage are also offered.

Asase Garra Rufa Spa, Unit 13 Hanningtons (near Donatello), 19 Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 746888, appointment@asasespa.co.uk, www.asasespa.co.uk

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VALENTINE’S DAY

Valentine Special

Open for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner

2 course set menu £10

Valentine’s 3 course menu £35 (available Sat 12th & Mon 14th Feb)

102-105 Western Road Brighton BN3 1FA

019_02_LS512_Valentines Feature_Layout 1 04/02/2011 15:12 Page 2

Valentine Special

VALENTINE’S DAY 19

Foxy’s Roast & Grill

Brighton Dome

If you don’t want to pay high prices in a packed restaurant this Valentine’s Day then why not dine-in for two and leave the cooking to the professionals?

Foxy’s Roast & Grill in Hove will deliver a divine freshly cooked meal for two to the comfort of your own home. They also have a good value offer that allows you to create your own romance: choose from either an 8oz rump steak or chargrilled Tuna steak, two side dishes of your choice and a sumptuous large dessert to share, all for just £25, lovingly prepared from by their chefs using the freshest ingredients.

A wholesome, juicy and devilishly tempting feast sets the tone for an adventurous evening in. Add candlelight and have the dessert with just one spoon providing a hopelessly romantic end to the perfect date.

Visit www.foxysbrighton.co.uk for details or call 01273 776661 to order in advance.

Whether you are looking for traditional romance or an evening that shuns the schmaltz, Brighton Dome has something for lovers, friends and singletons alike for the romantic month of February. The annual Valentine’s Ball with the Berkeley Square Society Band has become a perennial favourite for quicksteppers of all ages and genders. It’s ideal if you want to waltz till you wilt or simply soak up the ambience.

For something a little different, take your seats in the Pavilion Theatre for duo Bourgeois and Maurice. Part cabaret, part theatre, part catwalk freakshow, their riotous double act blends catchy pop hooks with stiletto-sharp satire in an evening of ‘gloriously inappropriate decadence’ (The Guardian).

Valentine’s Ball, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 14 February, 8pm, £25/£14; Bourgeois & Maurice, 14 February, Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 8pm, £12.50/£10, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org

The Restaurant At Aloka Situated on the first floor of Aloka, the East Street Quality of Life Centre, The Restaurant At Aloka is a stunningly beautiful space, perfect for a romantic meal with the one you love.

Unique in Brighton, The Restaurant At Aloka offers a Botanical Living Cuisine menu, which features the finest ingredients, all lovingly prepared to enhance their natural flavours and colours while retaining all their health-promoting benefits.

For Valentine’s Day, the menu focuses on dishes designed to entice and excite your taste buds including such aphrodisiacal delights as vegan ‘oysters and pearls’. Enjoy the perfect meal with your loved one on this most romantic of days at The Restaurant At Aloka.

Aloka Quality of Life Centre, 14 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HP, 01273 823178 www.aloka.aura-soma.net

It’s Not You, It’s Me If you’re single or in a dead-end relationship and dread Valentine’s Day, then help is at hand!

‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ coaching and workshops offer a fresh outlook on dating and relationships by using a combination of coaching techniques and tried and tested advice to help you explore your approach to love.

Whether you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, are new to the dating scene, or you feel your relationship isn’t working, then ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ can help.

Visit www.itsnotyouitsme.co.uk or email info@itsnotyouitsme.co.uk for further information about one-to-one coaching and group workshops.

The Hove Kitchen

The Treatment Rooms

Airy and light by day, softly lit and seductive by night: The Hove Kitchen aims to capture the feel of your own kitchen away from home.

The old Barney’s site has now been transformed and is under new (and very lovely) management. Come in to The Hove Kitchen and relax with a cappuccino or nurse a sore head over Eggs Royale, meet clients for a business lunch or pop in for a cheeky afternoon Mojito.

The Hove Kitchen is perfect to bring a loved one for an intimate dinner.

Their three-course Valentine’s menu costs just £35.

Seasonal and local ingredients make up their monthly changing menus. Delicious Sunday roasts include the nine-hour slow roasted beef, and their stunning drinks menu includes amazing Bloody Mary’s.

Enjoy Valentine’s Day with your loved one at The Hove Kitchen. The restaurant is also available for private dining, business lunches, weddings and all other celebrations.

The Hove Kitchen, 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 725495

Spoil the one you love at The Treatment Rooms with a gift voucher for some of their luxury treatments including Eve Lom facials, microdermabrasion, aromatherapy facials and massage, half day rituals, LaStone and Lava Shell massage. Their most popular Valentine’s treatment is The Romance Ritual. Set to candlelight and soft music, this is a relaxing treatment for couples to enjoy together, led by two. A full body exfoliation is followed by a soothing massage to ease tired and tense muscles. The treatment is completed with an aromatherapy facial with pressure point massage on the face and scalp.The Romance Ritual costs £220 and lasts two hours.

In total, there are 10 treatment rooms, including a double room, with a relaxation room to chill out after your treatment.The Treatment Rooms is open seven days a week and five evenings. Visit the website for the latest offers and to purchase vouchers.

The Treatment Rooms, 21 New Road, Brighton, 01273 818444, reservations@thetreatmentrooms.com, Visit www.thetreatmentrooms.com

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VALENTINE’S DAY

Valentine Special

The Townhouse The Townhouse is the latest edition to the vibrant Kemp Town area of Brighton offering contemporary yet unpretentious dining. The restaurant provides a welcome change from stuffy restaurant dining, offering relaxed service and seasonal, locally sourced food.

Utterly chilled out, The Townhouse not only has a dining room and bar in which to enjoy the company of friends, but a piano room as well. With a head chef from London’s Dorchester Hotel, The Townhouse’s food is nothing if not delicious. Fabulous dishes staff and ambience, British style. !

For Valentine’s Day, The Townhouse has the pianist booked, the flowers arranged, and with it being their first one, they really are going to go all out!

Their special Valentine’s menu is available Friday 11 to Monday 14 February. Give them a call with all your questions and they will have them all cleared up in a jiffy. For fabulous dishes, attentive staff and romantic ambience, this British restaurant is the perfect setting for Valentine’s Day. The Townhouse, 81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1PA, 01273 693216, www.thetownhousekemptown.co.uk

The Elizabethan Cottage Tandoori Valentine’s bookings now being taken

It’s not just a meal, but an experience 10 mins from town, on the A23 130/136 Old London Road, Patcham, Brighton BN1 8XA

01273 507075

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay reports on the winners at the Sussex Food & Drink Awards

And the winners are...

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Eating Experience: Mark and The Curlew, with Danny Pike Sara Colley, Hilary Knight from A Taste and sponsor of Sussex

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awarded Sussex Butcher of the Year, sponsored by Leonards and Natural Farms.

West Sussex saw siblings, Jenny and Trevor Passmore of Church Farm in Lancing, win the very popular title of Sussex Farmer of the Year, sponsored by Knill James. Sussex Food Producer of the Year, sponsored by Musgrave, was awarded to Caroline’s Dairy in Sidlesham, Chichester; Dark Star Brewery in Horsham beat neighbouring rivals Hepworth’s to take first place in Sussex Drink Producer of the Year,

elebrations were in full flow on Thursday 27 January at this year’s spectacular Sussex Food & Drink er, Passmore with their moth Awards ceremony. Eight of Sussex’s top Farmer: Jenny and Trevor bes, with Danny Pike and , Coom Farm ch Chur , Mary food and drink producers were hailed as Knill James sponsor Kevin Powell from local heroes as they received their trophies at the East Sussex National Golf Resort & Spa near Uckfield. Thousands of people voted for hundreds of Sussex food and drink businesses and Food/Farm Shop: individuals in the Sussex Food & Drink Fiona Kay, Cheese Awards 2010/11, which is run by Please, with Danny Pike and sponsor Natural PR and this year celebrated Simon Baillieits fifth anniversary!

Hamilton from Mayo Wynne Baxter “The Sussex Food & Drink Awards celebrate the exceptional standards of quality and innovation that have taken the county’s producers into the top half sponsored by Natural PR; and another of the UK’s Premier League for locally Horsham winner was South Lodge produced food and drink,” says Clive Hotel’s sous-chef, Steven Edwards, Beddall OBE, Chairman of the Judges. who took away the much coveted title “This competition has raised the profile of Sussex Young Chef of the Year, of an ever-growing variety of products sponsored by Blue Spark Organisation.

“These awards have played a part in from across the county. What has As fireworks lit up the banquet hall, pleased me most this year is that more building the reputation of Sussex as one of Paula Seager, MD of Natural PR, said: and more Sussex hotels, pubs and “Tonight has been a true celebration the best food destinations in the country” and we are so proud that these awards restaurants are highlighting local produce on their menus.” have played a part in building the – Paula Seager, Natural PR reputation of Sussex as one of the best Over 200 leaders in the food, drink and farming industries gathered for food destinations in the country and what is now dubbed ‘the Sussex home to some of the most creative Food Producer: Caroline Spiby, Caroline’s Dairy, with Danny Pike and sponsor John Taylor from Musgrave Retail Partners foodie event of the year’. Guests were and exciting producers of exquisite treated to a wonderful Sussex bubbly food and drink. and ale reception, sponsored by “As ever, the awards would not be Harvey & Son and Carr Taylor, possible without the support from all followed by a stunning seven-course our wonderful sponsors and the many banquet. The special fifth anniversary great organisations and individuals menu was created by AA rosette chef involved. We hope that we can Andy Wiles and featured an array of continue to make these Sussex goodies including local Sussex awards a success for many rabbit rillette, Harvey’s beer battered years to come.” line-caught Sussex pollock, a trio of For more information on all Sussex venison, layered Sussex the winners and the awards blackberry fool, a selection of local please visit cheeses and Sussex ground www.sussexfoodawards.biz coffee with chocolate truffles and mini cup cakes.

Roger Hoggins, Farmers’ Market: Sharon &with Danny Pike It was an even split across Uckfield Farmers’ Market, Harveys and sponsor Miles Jenner, the county as winners were Young Chef: Steven Edwards, South Lodge Hotel, with Danny announced in a BAFTA-style Pike and sponsor Dhrutee Dave presentation, hosted by Danny from Blue Spark Organisation Pike of BBC Sussex. East Sussex fought off tough Butcher: Barry Western, Tablehurst Farm Shop, competition seeing wins for with Danny Pike and the second year in a row from sponsor John Lelliott from Leonards Uckfield for Best Sussex Farmers’ Market, sponsored

by Harveys Brewery and Lewes based Cheese Please for Best Sussex Food/Farm Shop, sponsored by Mayo Wynne Baxter. Having recently received the accolade of a Michelin Star, it was a night for more celebration for The Curlew Drink Producer: Paul Restaurant in Bodiam which Reed, Dark Star Brewery, with Danny Pike and won Best Sussex Eating sponsor Paula Seager Experience, sponsored by from Natural PR A Taste of Sussex. Tablehurst Do you agree with this year’s winners? andrew@thelatest.co.uk Farm in Forest Row was

024_LS512_Hotlist_Hotlist 02/02/2011 16:02 Page 2

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HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist Eateries and bars catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk American Rock & Roller

Enjoy fabulous American-inspired food – including mammoth home-made burgers (beef, chicken and vegetarian), locally smoked ribs and sizzling steaks – at Rock & Roller. Upstairs you’ll find an entire floor dedicated to pool, with five tables to choose from. Join the Pool Loyalty Scheme – play nine hours and get a tenth hour free.

95 Western Rd, Brighton, BN1 2LB, 01273 710014, www.rock8roller.co.uk

British & modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele.

Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

The Dyke

Superb rustic Tuscan menu mingled with English classics. Locally sourced or organic ingredients and rapidly gaining a reputation as one of Brighton’s most stylish eateries. One side is a proper pub with excellent real ales and log fire; the other a very grown-up stylish restaurant. It’s very child (and dog!) friendly too, and has a big garden for those late summer evenings. Lunch 12pm–3pm; dinner 6.30pm–9.45pm.

218 Dyke Road, Brighton, 01273 555672, www.dykepub.co.uk

The Gallery Restaurant - The Lanes If you’re looking for an independent restaurant offering some of the very best steaks and British dishes then why not try The Gallery Restaurant? Located in an old fishing cottage in the very heart of Brighton’s Lanes The Gallery Restaurant prides itself in offering the very best dishes, service and ambience – British style!

In the summer they boast one one Brighton’s largest alfresco terraces but in the winter the mood is relaxed and welcoming. Try the lunch two-course menu for just £9.95 and the evening menu two-course menu for £13.95.

28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL 01273 773327, www.thegallerybrighton.co.uk

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting.

Locally-owned and aiming to be the ‘Cheers’ of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank is a rarity in the city, offering quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list, selected mainly from local merchants by GQ wine columnist Jonathan Ray, complements their wholesome and satisfying food. Kids’ menu great value. Open Mon–Thurs, 5pm–9.30pm; Fri–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm.

120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200, www.oldbankkemptownbrighton.com

The Restaurant At Drakes

With an air of relaxed glamour, exemplary service and the finest modern European cuisine in town, the 2AA Rosette fine-dining restaurant provides the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Two courses for £29; three courses for £39; fivecourse Gourmet Chef’s Taster Menu for £50.

Private dining room with designated waiter for up to 12 people.

43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

The Townhouse Restaurant

Located in the vibrant Kemp Town area of Brighton, The Townhouse provides a welcome change from stuffy restaurant dining, offering relaxed service and unpretentious

food. Utterly chilled out, The Townhouse not only has a dining room and bar in which to enjoy the company of friends, but a piano room too. With a head chef all the way from London’s Dorchester Hotel, The Townhouse’s food is truly delicious. Fabulous dishes, staff and ambience – British style!

81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton BN2 1PA 01273 693216, www.thetownhousekemptown.co.uk

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order.

48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm.

10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp

Indian Chaula’s

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

The Chilli Pickle – recently awarded a Michelin Bib Gourmand, 2AA Rosettes, and winners of ‘The Most Innovative Restaurant 2010’ at The British Curry Awards – are relocating to myhotel, 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton. Expect to see the same style of food and décor alongside the usual friendly and knowledgable service.

For regular updates visit www.thechillipickle.com or follow twitter http://twitter.com/chillipickle

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

The Dyke Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why.

Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the

complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and “gin yur yur” (eat a lot!)

8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, www.thegreenmangohove.com

Sawadee

Sawadee Thai Restaurant has been offering a warm welcome on St James’s Street to regular customers and new visitors to Brighton for nearly 10 years. Their experienced Thai chefs cook to order, so every dish is freshly made and comes to your table straight from wok or grill. The menu features plenty of seafood, simple grilled meats, traditional thai curries and tasty stir-fry dishes. Their set menus and lunch platters are a great way to try lots of different Thai tastes.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, BN2 1TP, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

023_LS512_Health _Revitalise 04/02/2011 09:26 Page 3

HEALTH & BEAUTY 23

In the mood for love Get ready for romance this Valentine’s Day with these great fashion & beauty buys Bvlgari MAN, from £32.99, The Perfume Shop, www.theperfumeshop.com The perfect gift for the man in your life: with a sensuous woody heart, this elegant fragrance is our top choice for men of all ages.

Jimmy Choo eau de parfum, from £38.50, The Perfume Shop, www.theperfumeshop.com Warm and rich with woody depths, this perfume is glamorous, confident and flirty – perfect for 14 February. Apply to the wrists and neck, and also spritz some behind the knees and on your naval area for long-lasting fragrance. Gorgeous...

Caroline red floral pleated dress, £95, Monsoon, www.monsoon.co.uk Get dressed to impress with this new addition to Monsoon’s Spring/Summer 2011 collection. The vibrant red shows confidence and is bold and sexy, while the flattering material gives a softer and romantic edge to the overall look.

Woven Strapless Dress, £135, French Connection, www.frenchconnection.com For a classic romantic look then you can do no wrong with this new addition to French Connection’s Spring/Summer collection. Flattering, romantic and sexy too, this dress is a must-have. Team with the Brantano heels in ‘nude’, (which is still a leading shade in shoewear this year.) Prepare to impress...

Red Level, Rounders, £20, Brantano, also available in ‘nude’, www.brantano.co.uk If you’re opting for the trusted LBD this Valentine’s, add some colour with these great value heels. If you are wearing red, make sure the shades don’t clash.

Strawberry body butter, from £5, The Body Shop, www.thebodyshop.co.uk Pre-date, keep the skin moisturised and soft to the touch with our favourite pick from The Body Shop’s body butter range: strawberry (the tub is appropriately coloured for Valentine’s Day too!). The delicious strawberry scent will leave you smelling gorgeous and the texture leaves skin soft without being greasy.

024_LS512_reviews_Reviews 04/02/2011 11:16 Page 2

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REVIEWS Pic: Keith Trigwell

L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk MAMA ROSIN

Mama Rosin’s visit was a gale-force breath of fresh air amidst the plethora of paint-by-numbers acts that regularly grace our fair city. The Swiss Cajun punk trio rattled through an hour of rip-roaring rockabilly and thumping bluegrass with the subtlety of an enraged bull at a red cloth convention. Weaving through a collection of blues standards and their own compositions at a rate of knots, the boys slammed, thrashed, kicked, crashed and smiled their way into our hearts. It was enough to make even the most hardened grumpy foot-tapper break out into a crazed jig. Brilliant stuff.

The Prince Albert, 31 January JJJJJ Adam Lindsay

VIVA LA FRANCE – CHAPELIER FOU, DELICATESSEN

Multi-instrumentalist Fou conjured up sweeping soundscapes of layered loops over which he sampled himself on violin, guitar and keys. The hypnotic pieces, interspersed with found French dialogue, were complexly structured and a perfect backdrop for his beautiful bow work.

Watching Delicatessen was a joy – like being reunited with an old friend. This classic of French cinema was the perfect way to round off yet another innovative Vive La France festival. This dark tale of a circus performer-turnedhandyman in a post-apocalypse boarding house from hell remains an audio and visual feast, from the clanging and creaking building to the suicidal housewife and blundering troglodytes.

Duke Of York’s Picturehouse, 29 January JJJJJ Steve Clements

blandness lacking that vital hook that made the show occasionally so special.

Komedia, 1 February JJJJJ Nick Aldwinckle

ESBEN & THE WITCH

Within 12 months, Brighton’s Esben And The Witch have leapt from gigs at the Prince Albert to tonight’s busy and intense Pavilion Theatre show, helped by a BBC Sound Of 2011 nomination, and the worldwide release of debut album Violet Cries. Lit by ornamental lamp posts, the trio cranked up the album’s haunting songs into earbattering sheets of twin guitar noise and much abused stand-up drumming. Rachel Davies’ disembodied vocals put Esben And The Witch in a lineage taking in early Cocteau Twins and the unjustly forgotten Cranes, but the band’s dense programming brings them very much into the present.

Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 1 February JJJJJ Stuart Huggett

KRATER COMEDY

This was a comedy night of young talent and two old(er) pros. Marlon Davis, Matt Richardson and Rich Perry delivered very different styles (conversational, maniacal, and deadpan), all of which succeeded equally well. However, it was compere Andrew Bird and headliner Nick Doody who stole the show. Andrew’s spontaneous turn of topic and brilliant character assassination of an unfortunate member of the audience was exquisite, whilst Nick was genuinely uproarious. Not dissimilar to an early Eddie Izzard, he is the real deal. Unmissable.

Komedia, 30 January JJJJJ James Gibson

WIRE

Reformed art-punk heroes Wire's distinctive sound can deservedly be heard echoing throughout the modern alternative rock spectrum, influencing bands as diverse as Sonic Youth, REM and Battles. With songs as brilliantly catchy and innovative as the band have in their formidable arsenal, it was frustrating to hear these giants cowed by a lop-sided set dwelling too long on weaker fare. Of course, when the old barbed Wire (sorry) with grinding, angular siren-guitar pounding at the eardrums took hold, it was spectacular.

Unfortunately, too often this was disrupted by forgettable pop-rock

Nick Doody

Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk

THOMPSON DIRECT RICHARD THOMPSON 3 February, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome JJJJJ

R

ichard Thompson is the forgotten hero of music for over 40 years. Revered by such luminaries as Elvis Costello, Robert Plant and David Byrne, yet shielded from the spotlight that fame brings, Thompson has the enviable position of critical acclaim and cultural importance with the ability to walk down the street in relative anonymity. So is the adulation justified?

For those unfamiliar with his name and career, Thompson is a founding father of the contemporary British folk scene via his work with Fairport Convention in the ‘60s with seminal works ‘Liege & Leaf’ and ‘What We Did On Our Holidays’.

The ‘70s saw his output blossom as duo Richard and Linda Thompson, his then wife.

However, since the ‘80s he has performed solo, galvanising his stature as a guitar god.

Tonight, Thompson strode onto the stage almost apologetically, his four-piece band all dressed in black. He himself styled like a middle class Che Guevara complete with cocked beret, only this gunslinger has a pale blue Fender Strat as his weapon with his motley crew of renegade outlaw musicians.

For the first half of the show the band concentrated fully on the latest album, Dream Attic, an eclectic mix of folk (as expected)

in tracks ‘Among The Gorse, Among The Grey’ and the hauntingly beautiful ‘Stumble On’, to a touch of polka (‘Demons In Her Dancing Shoes’), hoedowns on ‘Haul Me Up’ and the self proclaimed murder ballad/slipjig ‘Sidney Wells’. The two stand-out tracks being ‘Burning Man’, medieval in feel and origins but ramped up to placate rock tastes. You could still imagine it being played by a bank of lutes and citterns. And then the last track on the album and in the first half of the show: ‘If Love Whispers Your Name’, a standard love song to all intents and purposes. That is until Thompson unleashed all hell through his guitar at the end of the track, reminding everyone why he is the guitarist’s guitarist. Effortlessly gliding up and down the neck, he caressed it like a beautiful woman.

The second half of the show brought more of the same of Thompson’s virtuosity via his back catalogue of hits, delighting his fans along the way. His band matched him stride for stride, note for note.

Special mention should go to Pete Zorn, guitarist and woodwind player – a musician who could seemingly get E flat out of a sack of spuds if plucked or blown correctly.

When it was over, the crowd stood long, the applause rang true.

So is the adulation justified?

Absolutely!

Lee Stevens

025_LS512_bookingschart_011_LS466_interview 04/02/2011 10:42 Page 1

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 25

L7 Bookings

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

On sale this week…

Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 8 Latest 1 Jaybee – Sinner 2 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know 3 Panos Christofi – Sunshine 4 Slipp Electro ft Osaro – It’s Lifting Me 5 Duke Monorail – Monorail 6 Millsy Slug Music – Spooky 7 Jaybee – Cowboys Blues 8 Millsy Slug Music – Zippit 9 The Last Cry – Rebekka 10 Iolatwist – Pretty

BEADY EYE

Brighton Centre, 27 April, £27.50, 01273 290131, www.brightoncentre.co.uk After Oasis there was... Beady Eye. The band (Liam Gallagher, Gem Archer, Andy Bell and Chris Sharrock) will be giving fans a first live taste of their premiere album, which is proving to be one of the most hotly anticipated live debuts the UK has ever seen. Supplemented by Matt Jones on keyboards and Jeff Wootton on bass.

A new week and it’s time for another Number One to add to electro-pop singer-songwriter Jaybee’s impressive tally of chart-toppers. This latest effort, ‘Sinner’ blends something of a Marc Almond synth-croon sound with a slight Of Montreal funk vibe. Meanwhile, it’s hardly surprising to see last week’s holder of numbers one and two, Panos Christofi, again lurking in the top five, this week sliding to two and three with ‘I’ll Never Know’ and ‘Sunshine’ respectively. Another former Number One, flamboyant house duo Slipp Electro featuring Osaro, take four with ‘It’s Lifting Me’ as Duke Monorail’s quality 8-bit soundscape, ‘Monorail’, takes five.

HARDEEP SINGH KOHLI – THE NEARLY NAKED CHEF

Ropetackle Centre, 15 April, 8pm, £15, 01273 464440, www.ropetacklecentre.co.uk Grab a seat and tuck in as a guest of Hardeep Singh Kohli – the celebrated broadcaster, raconteur, writer and cook – as he combines comedy with inventive cuisine in a wonderfully funny, laid back evening’s entertainment.

THE BIG BALLET UK TOUR

Congress Theatre, Eastbourne, 1 March, £20, 01323 412000, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk A ballet like no other ever seen before in the UK, Amande Concerts presents The Big Ballet, an ensemble of 16 Corps de Ballet dancers, each weighing no less than 16 stone and united in a common cause; not to lose a single pound.

KATE NASH

Concorde 2, 26 March, 6.30pm, £14.50, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Kate Nash has just confirmed an up-close and intimate tour of the UK. She’ll be playing her new edgy album My Best Friend Is You and taken a noticeable change of direction from her debut album Made Of Bricks.

JOHN HEGLEY: ANIMAL ALPHABOAT

Komedia, 26 March, 2pm, £9/6, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton John Hegley’s unique approach to poetry, dance and song are all present in this show for children and adults. Enchants children and adults with his poetic genius and silliness.

ADRIAN EDMONDSON AND THE BAD SHEPHERDS

Komedia, 23 November, 7.30pm, £17.50, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton The Bad Shepherds play punk songs on folk instruments. Not as a gag, but because we really like the noise. They think the songs are better than people remember.

YES

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 15 November, 8pm, £34.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org The iconic progressive rock band of the ‘70s are coming to Brighton to put on an unmissable show. No support slot, so hopefully a massive musical display.

11 Millsy Slug Music 21 Stuart Newman Sky Blue Pink 51st State 12 Alexxa B

22 Freudstein

13 Millsy Slug Music

23 Swarf Parlour Tricks

14 The Fooley

24 Harper Ash

Anak Krakatau

My Giddy Aunt

Mantras Best In People

15 La Lunalight

Hear No Evil

16 N-D-E

Incredible Machine

17 Hollywood

Assassins Switchblade

18 Dance Paris

Dance These Games

19 Osaro And RJ

Shut Up And Dance

20 Alexandra Hamer

Wild Girl And Crazy Dog

Sister Sleaze

China Girl

25 Jamie Smith

Wheels Upon Wheels

26 The Red Attack

And You Command Everybody...

27 No Sharp Objects

The Wrong Kind Of Love

28 Thunk

Micromophone

29 Ziggurat Sunset

Vendetta

30 The Fooley

Mantras Our Time

SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS

www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

026_029_LS512_previews_editorial 04/02/2011 12:18 Page 2

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LATEST PREVIEWS STAGE

L7 Previews STAGE: THE INDISCREET CHARM OF...

Andrew Kay talks to cabaret duo Bourgeois and Maurice ahead of their show at Brighton Dome Can you be labelled and do you want to be labelled?

Maurice: I understand the need for labelling; it helps you wash clothes correctly. However, I’m not sure it’s particularly useful for us. We take influence from lots of different things and try to use as much as possible, without making the audience feel too sick. Trying to stick to one or even two labels is a bit limiting. That’s why we’ve ended up describing ourselves as cabaret – nobody knows what the hell it is. We can get away with doing almost anything.

Bourgeois: A bit like Cameron and Clegg.

Is it Bourgeois as in Louise or as in The Discreet Charm Of...?

Bourgeois: I just picked it ‘cos it rhymed with Georgeois.

And Maurice as in Chevalier or as in Minor?

Maurice: As in dancing.

What have been your major influences, if any?

Bourgeois: The mordant wit of Liz Jones.

Maurice: I am very influenced by the dark and surreal edges of comedy. I started watching Chris Morris’ stuff when I was about nine, and Julia Davis also made me know that women can do it too! I remember listening to the Divine Comedy when I was little and thinking is this allowed!?

When you create your act is it born of pleasure or pain?

Maurice: Definitely a little of both. It probably starts with pain, or rather frustration at something stupid existing in the world, then we turn it into pleasure by making a song

which mocks and ridicules it!

Bourgeois: Our good friend Justin Bond [of Kiki and Herb] once said to us: ‘I was almost raped in a taxi once. And then I just changed my attitude’. That sums it up.

Is there such a concept as ‘going too far’?

Bourgeois: Have you ever been to Legends?

Maurice: I think going too far is when you get caught up in the act of trying to shock, and lose sight of the point itself.

Have you ever gone too far?

Maurice: I don’t think so, although some people might disagree! We have pulled back before because the desire to shock was overtaking the point. We get most of our subject matter from real events, so what we have to say is never as disturbing as the reality on which it’s based!

Is there equality between you on stage?

Maurice: Yes. Bourgeois is very much the front man, and the voice on stage, but I’m keeping him in rhythm and providing harmony! I guess we’re like a pair of kidneys: you can survive with one, but you shouldn’t really drink.

Bourgeois: Actually, the truth is I am a raving misogynist. Isn’t that right, dollybird?

Who should come to see the show?

Maurice: Everyone.

Bourgeois: Heather Mills, Zoe Ball and Nick Cave. And the nudist beach – all patrons of.

Which of you is prettier?

Maurice: I've got prettier fingers, but Bourgeois has got prettier nails.

Did you sew on all your own sequins by hand?

Bourgeois: No, a kid in China did it.

Who shouldn’t come to see the show?

Maurice: People who think the Brit Awards showcases the best of British music.

Bourgeois: And white people with dreadlocks.

Ballet or disco – which is best?

Maurice: We like to mix genres and styles, so a hybrid is best.

In our last show, Can't Dance, we performed an erotic ballet inspired by the Inland Revenue.

Not something you see everyday.

Bourgeois: Unless you’ve seen everything, like a woman I sat next to on the train. She was a laugh-aminute passive aggressive encyclopaedia.

If you didn’t do this, what would you do instead?

Maurice: Be a spy.

Bourgeois: Management consultancy.

Are any of your costumes available for men or women of a fuller figure?

Maurice: Most of them are custom made to fit our shapes. So in theory – yes! They’re made to measure. But in reality – no. Our costumes are not available to anybody but us.

Bourgeois: It’s Bourgeois And Maurice, not Bourgeois And Obese.

Other than international critical acclaim, what are your ambitions?

Maurice: If I manage to get onto Loose Women, I think it would be a victory for all sorts of women.

Bourgeois: I guess I'd like to solve some world issues, like war and Justin Bieber.

Does cabaret, or neo-cabaret, work in a room without cigarette smoke?

Maurice: Well, it certainly helps maintain our vocal chords! I think dingy smoke filled basements are over-romanticised anyway, and after a couple of G&Ts it’ll look just as hazy.

Bourgeois: Interestingly, cabaret doesn’t work but neo-cabaret does.

Alt-cabaret sort of works too. Nucabaret is a bit so so. Never burlesque.

Bourgeois & Maurice, Monday 14 February, Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 8pm, £12.50/10, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org follow me on twitter

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026_029_LS512_previews_editorial 04/02/2011 12:22 Page 3 y

LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 27 and good-natured black humour duelling with the downcast yet just as melodic moods of Ford.

Komedia, 10 February, 8pm, £14

CLUBS: DIRTY CASH LAUNCH NIGHT Grimey girls, grungy notes, filthy hiphop, stained shirts, unwashed boys, smeared lips, smudged make-up and muddy knees. Dirty Cash is the new way to spend a Tuesday night and is dedicated to two things only: good music and great parties. From old school garage to hip-hop beats.

Brighton Coalition, 8 February, 10pm–3am, £4/2 CLUBS: NOT FORGOTTEN! Classic Valentine’s rave at Proud Brighton Ballroom featuring the best classic club nights from back in the day. There will be DJs, tunes, décor, production, artwork and atmosphere. Whether you are single or sorted (with a date), this night will have you dancing till' dawn.

Proud Brighton Ballroom, 11 February, 10pm–2am, £5

MUSIC: DAMO SUZUKI Infamous vocalist with krautrockers Can for a few years in the early ’70s, legend has it that Kenji “Damo” Suzuki, a young Japanese traveller, was found busking outside a Munich café. Improvising the majority of his lyrics and sometimes singing in his native Japanese, Can enjoyed their finest hour when he was with the band... Over the years he tends to perform live improvisational music with various local musicians (socalled Soundcarriers) thus building up a network of musicians with whom he collaborates. For this Brighton gig the local promoter has roped in Brighton band AKDK to collaborate with Suzuki on the night...

Green Door Store, 11 February, 8pm, £6.50 MUSIC: ANDY MCKEE Andy McKee is an instrumentalist with dazzling technique on the acoustic guitar and is an artist on a meteoric rise. Andy is one of the most seen and heard musicians on the web with tens and tens (and tens and tens) of millions of gross impressions on YouTube and Myspace in the past 16 months alone. It is Andy’s engaging live performances and rock solid touring calendar that has seen him grow a global audience by playing upwards of two hundred dates a year.

Komedia, 13 February, £12, 8pm

CLUBS: POP NOT POP This is going to be a pop heavy night of mixed up madness where you leave your inhibitions at the door and can dance away to funk, punk, trash metal, hip-hop, power disco, ’80s, ’90s, ’00s and nowtees. Lets mash, smash and clash things up. Let your body pop!

Green Door Store, 12 February, 11pm–4am, £6/3 MUSIC: TEDDY THOMPSON & DAVID FORD Double bill of classic acoustic indiepop with Thompson’s blend of catchy songcraft, pensive emotional insight

MUSIC: IT’S ALL GO! Jeff Hemmings chats to Ian Parton of The Go! Team

H

aving created a unique and thrilling sound template back in 2004 with their debut album Thunder, Lightning, Strike, Brighton’s The Go! Team haven’t let go of a good thing. Instead, they are expanding and fine-tuning this mash-up of sounds that have been loosely described as psychedelic hip-hop. The term hardly does it justice though, as blaxploitation, double dutch chants, distorted guitars and samples galore, largely created by founder and band leader Ian Parton, are the norm.

Thunder, Lightning, Strike (which was recorded in his Ian’s mum’s kitchen!) won a Mercury Music Prize nomination, helping to propel the band even further. Their follow up album, Proof Of Youth, featured Chuck D, of hiphop legends Public Enemy...

The success of the debut album saw Ian decide to put together a live band, becoming a separate entity with the performances radically different from the recordings.

Album number three, Rolling Blackouts, which has just been released, while not exactly diverting much from the formula, has a new found melodicism, and more emphasis on traditional songcraft. There are more vocals courtesy of Deerhoof's Satomi Matsuzaki, Bethany Cosentino of Best Coast, rapper Dominique Young Unique, French balladeer Lispector as well as Ninja, the band's MC, who once again features heavily within the album’s restless and relentless energy.

“I don't know why it took so long,” says Parton about the nearly four year gap between their second and third album. “It's time consuming looking for samples.... I'm listening to hundreds of records each day. It’s quite a weird way of working, trying things out... There’s lots of trial and error. That’s the process.

Plus we’ve been touring around the world, places like Singapore, China and Ukraine... There’s not many countries left to play!”

The Go! Team’s international flavour has helped them achieve success all over the world. A lot of their material has been used for commercials and the like. “We don't sound British,” says Ian. “People often don’t know where we’re from... This record has J-pop [Japanese pop], ‘60s garage, an African gospel choir, US rappers... I like the idea that every county has something good about it.”

I sample a drumbeat or a lyric and the song just grows out of that. But it’s [the new album] definitely more song driven with more melody. And Slogans! I kind of hoard slogans and phrases.”

The Go! Team, Tuesday 15 February, Concorde 2, 8pm, £12 follow me on twitter

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Teddy Thompson

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

0844 504 0004

Employment opportunities.

Due to our organic expansion we are looking for experienced security staff for both retail & licensed venues.

If you hold an SIA Security or Door Supervision license please email admin@conciergeandsecurity.com with your full CV & photo.

You’ll be a valued member of our team!

www.conciergeandsecurity.com – security you can depend on!

Enquiries: admin@conciergeandsecurity.com

026_029_LS512_previews_editorial 04/02/2011 12:23 Page 4

LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS

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COMEDY: HORSING AROUND Victoria Nangle celebrates the comedy bounty that’s arrived at The Quadrant thanks to Laughing Horse Comedy

F

rom February Nik Coppin onwards things are shaking up over at The Quadrant. The long-time home of Laughing Horse Comedy every Saturday night and a regular sell-out during festival time, The Quadrant became packed with other gigs, as organised by Laughing Horse Comedy.

From free shows by respected verterans including Ivor Dembina through to new award winners like Lynn Ruth Miller charging a small fee, the shows were varied, interesting, and plentiful.

With that in mind, there have been cogs in motion for some time to bring more regular comedy nights to the popular venue. Ta da!

From now on, the second Friday of every month see The Quadrant play host to a regular Laughing Horse New Comedy Showcase. This week features headliner musical comedian Ashley Frieze, plus support from Sam Stone, Matthew Thomas, Joe Wells, Luke Capasso, Gary Sansome, Daniel Stones and Rob Thomas. Compere for the evening is Kev Hampson.

The regular Saturday comedy will be renamed ‘The Saturday Show’, this week with the treats of Vladimir McTavish, Kevin Precious, Paul Laight, Damian Kingsley, Adam Tempest and regular hostess with the mostest (gags, that is) Sajeela Kershi.

Monday sees the launch of another new monthly show called Shaggers.

Obviously with a title like that on a date like this (Monday is Valentine’s Day) it’s going to be a special show, with the comics going for the blue topics full blast, hosted by Nik Coppin and featuring a headline slot from porn legend and Edinburgh Festival veteran Ben Dover. Shagging stories and general silliness abounds.

Add to these The Monday Club, which features on the first Monday of every month, with a lovely mix of quirky and fun stand-ups, plus Quadrofunnier on the first Friday of every month featuring sketch groups, character acts and improv, and there’s really quite a programme of regular events to keep track of! Loads really. Cheers Laughing Horse Comedy.

That’s quite a stable.

Laughing Horse New Comedy Showcase, Friday 11 February £5/4; The Saturday Show, Saturday 12 February, £6/5;‘VD’ Day Special: Shaggers, Monday 14 February, £5.

The Quadrant, 8pm, www.laughinghorsecomedy.co.uk follow me on twitter

latestvicky

COMEDY: FUNNY WOMEN – BRIGHTON NIGHTS A brand new monthly night launches with a Valentine’s theme and the respected Funny Women brand.

Kicking off with the Brighton based ‘posh totty’ of comedy Annabel Giles in the driving seat. Headlining will be Joanna Neary, as seen on TV, and Funny Women favourite and finalist from 2006, Julie Jepson.

Komedia, 12 February, 7.30pm, £10 Annabel Giles

COMEDY: ST LEONARD'S IMPROV COMEDY CLUB Monthly affordable comedy in Hastings featuring headliner David James, plus MCs Steve Le Squeeze and Suzi Payton, plus local support acts.

White Rock Theatre, Hastings, 11 February, 8pm, £5 COMEDY: PRIME CUTS COMEDY Prime Cuts Comedy has grown from a free monthly night to a regular umbrella of nights scattered around Brighton and East Sussex, bringing a hand-picked local line-up of stand ups to a stage near you. This was where it all started, with a free Sunday night to round off the weekend. This time it features Roz Ryan, Wayne Connolly, Eden Rivers

Attila The Stockbroker @ The Ropetackle Beer and Music Festival

Sophie Buijsen, Andrew Theodorou, Tim Watts, Jo Public, Colin Rogers and Dan Walker, plus MC Eden Rivers.

3 Jolly Butchers, 13 February, 8pm, free EVENTS: ROPETACKLE BEER & MUSIC FESTIVAL After the success of last year’s festival, which raised funds for the volunteer-run centre, the festival this year promises to be a kind of indoor Glastonwick. With beer variety and musical diversity, the Ropetackle Beer Festival is definitely worth checking out.

11 February, 7pm–11.30pm, £7 and 12 February, 12pm– 5pm, £3 and 7pm–11.30pm, £7, Ropetackle Arts Centre, Shoreham-by-Sea EVENTS: SINGLE IN THE CITY 2 Launched by Madame Geisha, the emphasis is on laid back dating fun with retro games like Lock N Key, speed dating, fortune telling, Cosmopolitan cocktail making and dating in the dark. Plus Ambrose Harcourt, aka Mr Lurve himself, will be spinning club classics through until the early hours.

Madame Geisha, 10 February, 9pm–3am, £5 EVENTS: STORY STUDIO A mix of short stories, playlets, flash fiction, monologues, short films and anything else that shares the view that stories are at the heart of human experience. With the theme of ‘Hearth and Home’, there will be a short film and a new story by author Bethan Roberts. Hosted by two local writers, Tara Gould and Louise Hume.

Komedia, 13 February, 7.30pm, £6/4.50

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

026_029_LS512_previews_editorial 04/02/2011 12:25 Page 5

Supported by

LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM

29

FILM: TRUE GRIT (15) Director: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen

W

Never Let Me Go

power within, clearly displayed in his treatments of bulls, horses, figures, birds, and unusual abstractions.

Worthing Museum and Art Gallery, 01903 221140, until 23 April

ART: THUNDER & TEMPEST Combining metal and stone sculptures with recycled elements, sculptor Alan Tobias-Williams cuts, welds and paints steel, drawing through the paint with an angle grinder. His main subject is the

Vanessa Mooncie: Circus

ART: CIRCUS Vanessa Mooncie’s silk screens are inspired by vintage children’s and fashion illustrations, and the glamorous pin-up paintings and photographs of the ’40s and ’50s.

The subjects of her prints are influenced by the traditional circus performers and street artisans of the first half of the 20th century and the Commedia dell’Arte.

Vanessa Mooncie: Circus, Pelham House, St Andrew’s Lane, Lewes, 01273 488600,until 8 March

hoo hoo! It’s a fresh Coen Brothers film, and all that entails, which these days in the diversity of Burn After Reading, Fargo, and No Country For Old Men can mean absolutely any genre but a certain quality is assured. This isn’t the first time they forayed into the murky waters of a remake, starting with the loose re-interpretation of the Greek story of Ulysses in O Brother, Where Art Thou? and then the more controversial (for Ealing classic-lovers, at least) The Ladykillers.

This, however, is a remake of an American classic that won John Wayne an Oscar and is close to the hearts of many a Western-lover. Good thing this version is so good; it’s been nominated for ten – count ‘em – Oscars, including nods to both lead Jeff Bridges and Best Supporting Actress 14-yearold Hailee Steinfeld. Cool.

The story goes like this: young Mattie’s father is murdered by the coward Tom Chaney. Determined to bring Chaney to justice, the girl engages the services of a drunken US Marshall, one ‘Rooster’ Cogburn. However, they need to capture Chaney before he is apprehended by a Texas Ranger and charged with the murder of another man. Thus they embark on one of the most well known road stories in cinematic history. Also starring Matt Damon and Josh Brolin.

Released 11 February.

Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Duke Of York’s Picturehouse

FILM: NEVER LET ME GO (12A) Dir: Mark Romanek Kathy (Carey Mulligan), Tommy (Andrew Garfield) and Ruth (Keira Knightley) are three children closer than close at their sheltered but rather special boarding school, Hailsham. When they enter into the world as young adults with their own unique purpose they have to grapple with a foreign world and dark truths, as well as the love triangle that has come to define them. Cripes!

Released 11 February.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: music@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

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tues feb 8

charity chuckle stand-up comedy to raise money for charities in and around the brighton area.

8pm £6/5

wed feb 9

acoustosaurus featuring sets from: james bay, run tallulah run, kp & squizz and sam heath 8pm £4 / £3 adv. or NUS

thu feb 10

catalyst club a monthly event which blends the old traditions of a french salon with

debating societies. got a passion? share it with the catalyst club.

8pm £5

fri feb 11

frockabilly brighton’s queer-run, straightfriendly, 1950s-themed club night. vintage hawaiian style!

8pm £7 / 6 adv

sat feb 12

love revolution the team behind the womens’ performance tent at brighton pride has joined forces with the 2011 lesbian lives conference.

7.00pm sold out

sun feb 13

the beautiful word heartbreak extravaganza + dead cars this is a night of unique pop folk brought to you by mystery pop quintet the beautiful word.

8pm £5/4 nus

mon feb 14

the big swing - valentine special a night of classic live music a la rat pack and bobby darin in vegas! a 6 piece band with special guests will play right through the evening. a great night for wining and dining!

6.15pm £10 / 9 adv

030_LS512_Stars-TV column _024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 04/02/2011 11:27 Page 2

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L7 TV

STARS | TV

STARS

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE

88 – 14 FEBRUARY8

With Val Aviv

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

While being a team player is a top priority, friends may seem more combative or competitive than usual making it rather testing. An image makeover which reflects the more sexy and powerful you will make people take you seriously.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Oozing a passive charm or sexiness is something which comes naturally to you. Watch out! Your chemistry is set to intensify. Also your understanding of hidden knowledge and occult mysteries is deepening. Listen to that profound feeling of silent knowing.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21}

Being typically logical, it’s easy for you to pick holes in fanciful day dreaming. Yet, celestial influences are encouraging you to do some forward thinking. It’s what we think today about tomorrow that makes the tomorrows what they are today.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22}

See how significant relationships are having a profound effect on you? If things are turbulent, an opportunity arises to make positive changes by either cutting ties or reforming in light of a deeper understanding. Inner peace can be restored.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22}

You can tell a lot about a person by the personal company they keep. It seems that our partners are often able to reflect back to us our inner contradictions. So it follows that they too can teach us about ourselves. Take a look through their eyes.

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

You’re very good at covering all angles in the box, but what about the angles outside of your organised world? Welcoming a bit of chaos in could lead to a breakthrough idea which enriches your life. Relinquish control and say yes more.

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

There are always people for you to greet and places to be, but this week, there is someone who holds a key to something a lot bigger than a mere social engagement. A much deeper part of you can be satisfied through an intense interaction.

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Do you believe in Luck? This is actually not such a well phrased question, as much as: do you know what luck is? And when opportunity knocks? You only need answer to let your life be enriched ten fold. Keep your ears attuned to the door.

Well, it is and it isn’t. All of the above is there in Outcasts. I marvelled at the whizz-bang central control room and the mythical traveller construct, and I loved the way we just dropped into this community’s life, picking up With Victoria Nangle information as we went along. But by golly, the information we picked up was signposted better than Gatwick Airport.

The script is just so heavy-handed. It’s as if someone wrote a first draft, a rough guide line if you will, and then the big wigs went off and spent all of their time and money getting in the best ere’s the pitch: at some indeterminate time actors (single small child notwithstanding), in the future there are too many people on location, set, and camera work – and forgot that Earth and so ships filled with people – that’s the script might need looking at again sometime.

VIPs, families, soldiers, technicians, and everyone, It’s almost heartbreaking how such an really – set off into space to find a ‘Goldilocks’ intriguing and interesting premise can be so planet. One that’s not too close to a star and not poorly executed. I even turned to my fellow too far away, either. Once viewer and asked they’re there on this new whether Jamie Bamber life-supporting world “It’s almost heartbreaking had been a good actor in other ships from Earth BSG. Of course he was! how such an intriguing and They were all brilliant! follow, expecting to arrive to a basic this actually made interesting premise can be But infrastructure and me question it. maybe a hot cup of tea.

Maybe once they’ve so poorly executed” Here’s the rest of the set the scene in the first pitch: we start off with episode the actual fine the settlers on their new planet, already settled writers, with more than rough strokes at but with a few unseen secrets hinted at; things character and plot delivery, will step in. like what is outside the compound? Why are there The story really does sound intriguing and so few children? And what is the unspoken could become compelling. The sneak peek at the conflict between the military and the political second episode saw a glimpse of Eric Mabius arms of power? It’s all sounding a smidge (Daniel Meade from Ugly Betty).

Battlestar Galactica, and when you throw in actual Obviously people other than me thought this BSG actor Jamie Bamber and the high production pitch sounded great too. Here’s hoping it’s just an values of Kudos (who brought us Spooks, Hustle, opening glitch. It would be a shame not to find Life On Mars and Ashes To Ashes) this becomes a out more about this planet and a bigger shame must-see programme on the horizon. Proper not to care. drama, great actors – Hermione Norris is in it Outcasts, started Monday 7 February, BBC1. too! – and all on another planet with the budget follow me on twitter latestvicky not shirked. It sounds too good to be true.

Telly Talk

Space oddity H

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

Changes of appearance are complimentary to the new more vivacious you that is surfacing. That tail behind you is in fact a long string of admirers. Your cheeky and sunny disposition will put you in favour with just about everybody.

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

The personal will of a determined Capricorn is about as unlikely to shake as a giant meteorite buried deep in the heart of Saturn’s core. Have faith in your tremendous power – your gravitational pull is bringing in exactly what you need.

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

While under the influence of Mars’ driving force, you would be foolish not to make good use of all the extra energy. You don’t need to second guess yourself. With logical Mercury in your sign, solutions come quickly and are going to be winners.

HPISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

A lot is going on behind the scenes, it’s a good time to reflect and wait for the current to change before you try to swim up stream. If you hang back just a little longer, soon you will have renewed vigour. Meanwhile, female friendships deepen.

Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV www.thelatest.tv For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit www.valaviv.com or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at: astrology@valaviv.com

Brighton Lights

The Brighton Lights they make me feel so free I’m driving down the London Road To where I want to be In Party Town From Brighton Lights (200,000 people but a million dreams) Theme tune by Eminemmylou

www.thelatest.tv

033_LS512_TV_tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 04/02/2011 09:38 Page 1

tuesday 8 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Five, 9pm It’s been easy to lose track lately with all the CSI strains turning up every night on Five USA, plus the repeats on Five, as to which are the brand new series. This is one.

There you go. And still original, as several dead bodies turn up in the house of a compulsive hoarder. Throw them out!

How TV Ruined Your Life BBC2, 10pm Charlie Brooker has been on form with this series, undermining and poking fun at the power the old gogglebox has over us sappy consumers. Admittedly we’re watching him on it and giving weight to his arguments, but he does have a point. This week it’s the blur between reality TV and reality.

Secret Diary Of A Call Girl ITV2, 10pm It’s the last series but Billie Piper has hinted that it has a few corker storylines to come. This week working girl Belle may have taken too much on. Can she be a madam, a girlfriend a chaperone and an escort all at once? Plus, she meets Ben’s mum for the first time and experiences one heck of a shock. Belle shocked? Never!

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Save My Holiday 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Scoop 4.00 Dead Gorgeous 4.30 Blue Peter 4.55 Caught In The Web - A Newsround Special 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 LazyTown 8.55 Numberjacks 9.15 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Big Barn Farm 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Ready Steady Cook 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.30 Climbing Great Buildings 3.00 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.55 The Secret Millionaire USA 9.55 Desperate Housewives 10.55 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 FILM: Rooster Cogburn (1975) 2.05 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 Build A New Life In The Country 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.45 The Family Recipe 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: For One Night (2006) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Alfie tries to lift his spirits with a Mexican night at the Vic, but the party atmosphere is soured when he reaches breaking point with Kat. Not a quiet lady.

8.00 Holby City Medical drama series. Malick tries to control his temper when a racist patient makes a formal complaint against him.

9.00 Outcasts Science-fiction drama series. News of a missing survival shuttle sends Cass, Fleur and Jack outside the settlement in search of Stella’s daughter, only to find that something or someone has got there first. Dum, dum, DUM! 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Come Fly On The Wall A look back at the making of Come Fly With Me. Go behind the scenes as Lucas and Walliams create and develop Come Fly With Me and follow the trials and tribulations as they bring to life a host of new characters.

11.35 FILM: Road Trip (2000) Starring Tom Green, Breckin Meyer, Seann William Scott, Amy Smart.

Comedy in which a group of students embark on an epic road trip.

1.05am Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.40 Human Planet 2.40 The Bear Family And Me 3.40 Save My Holiday 4.25 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. Eggs-citing!

6.30 One Man And His Campervan First of a new series that sees presenter Martin Dorey, campervan lover and passionate foodie, journey around Britain in his 1970s classic campervan on the ultimate escapist adventure. Get that motor running...

7.00 Natural World A real-life drama about a family chimps, who are trapped in the lost world of the Kyambura.

8.00 A Farmer’s Life For Me Couples with a dream of leaving the rat-race compete to run their very own farm in Suffolk, with self-made pig farmer Jimmy Doherty testing the couples on a different aspect of the business each week.

9.00 The Chinese Are Coming Travelling across three continents, Justin Rowlatt investigates the spread of Chinese influence around the planet and asks what the world will be like if China overtakes America as the world’s economic superpower.

10.00 How TV Ruined Your Life See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 Mad Men Drama series.

12.10am Who Gets The Best Jobs? 1.10 BBC News 4.00 Jimmy’s Food Factory: Second Helpings (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain attempts to lay down the law with Charity.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

8.00 Lion Country The wildlife documentary series returns as British conservationist David Youldon continues his radical programme to help save the African lion. At the park in Zambia, male lion Zulu takes his pride one step closer to their eventual release into the wild.

9.00 Taggart When the wife of boxer Noel Cash reports him missing, the team soon realise that his is the body found next to a motorway underpass.

As the investigation unfolds it appears that Noel was living a lie, indulging in the dark world of illegal gambling, lap dancing and bareknuckle fighting. The horror of it all!

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Secret Caribbean With Trevor McDonald On the last leg of Trevor McDonald’s Caribbean tour, he witnesses first hand how the forces of nature can make some of the island’s most glamorous locations practically uninhabitable.

11.35 Cops With Cameras Britain’s police record their daily battle on the front line of crime.

12.30am The Zone 2.35 Crossing Jordan 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The McQueen’s advise Theresa to leave with baby Kathleen-Angel in case Kyle returns.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow Gok Wan arrives in Leeds where he meets detectives Emma, Angie and Delia who normally wear jeans, hoodies and baseball caps. No way no more girlfriends!

9.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Documentary series. This episode explores the testosterone-filled world of the traveller man, where disputes are settled with fistfights and status is conveyed by the car you drive.

10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama series. Mimi is suffering from insomnia and soon real life starts to merge with dreams. Hoots!

11.05 The Big C Drama series about a suburban wife, mother and teacher whose cancer diagnosis shakes up her life. In the first episode, Cathy is determined to live life to the fullest following her diagnosis.

11.45 The Big Bang Theory 12.15am PokerStars.com UK And Ireland Poker Tour 1.15 Bullrun: New York To Las Vegas 1.40 Sony Ericsson B-Boy World Series 2.35 FIS World Championships 3.00 British Basketball: Game On 3.50 KOTV Boxing 4.20 ER 5.05 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor

6.00 Home And Away Alf swears revenge on Will for implicating him in the murder of Penn. Here’s the challange: come up with a suitably ‘Alf’ sweary threat, with the Aussie accent too. Tuesday fun.

6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series from Colchester Zoo, presented by Konnie Huq. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Extraordinary Dogs Insightful documentary series following the work of rescue dogs and their handlers from around the world.

8.00 Stansted: The Inside Story The baggage handlers, rangers and air operations team battle ice and snow to keep Stansted’s runway open in the big freeze. Cripes, the weather.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation See highlights.

10.00 CSI Miami Crime drama series.

Delko returns to the team following an extended absence through injury.

10.55 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The CSI team investigates a murder tied into a string of spy-themed robberies.

11.55 Law And Order US drama series. Green and Cassady discover some stolen photographs while investigating the death of a cop killed during a botched robbery.

12.50am SuperCasino 4.05 The FBI Files 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 The Sky Sports Years 10.00 Netbusters 10.30 Barclays Premier League Review 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30pm Netbusters 1.00 The Ashes - Victory Down Under 3.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 4.30 Barclays Premier League Review 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am Football 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Football 5.00 Revista De La Liga

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Cricket: The Ashes: Victory Down Under 11.00 Cricket World Cup 12.00pm Cricket World Cup 1.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 2.30 Extreme Carp 3.00 Cricket World Cup 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes: Victory Down Under 6.00 Kings Of The Snow 6.30 Cricket World Cup 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker: Full Tilt Million Dollar Cash Game 11.30 Kings Of The Snow 12.00am Cricket World Cup 1.00 Poker: Full Tilt Million Dollar Cash Game 2.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 9.00am European Tour Golf 10.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics 12.00pm Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 1.00 Fishing 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 4.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 Bowls 8.00 British Basketball League 10.00 Cricket World Cup 11.00 Golfing World 12.00am Saadiyat Beach Classic Golf 12.30 Sports Unlimited 1.30 British Basketball League 3.30 Sailing World Match Tour: Review Of The Year 4.30 Close Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Lie To Me 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Emergency Animal Rescue 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 10.00 Got To Dance: SemiFinals 11.30 A League Of Their Own 12.00am Mental 1.00 Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Michel Roux’s Service 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.30 Hotter Than My Daughter 9.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Snog Marry Avoid? 12.15am Hotter Than My Daughter 12.45 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 Britain By Bike 8.30 Justice: How To Measure Pleasure 9.00 Canoe Man 10.00 Ian Hislop’s Age Of The Do-Gooders 11.00 Abraham Lincoln: Saint Or Sinner? 12.00am American Idol: Reagan 1.40 Nixon In The Den 2.40 Canoe Man 3.40 The Sky At Night

4.40pm Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 The Biggest Loser 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl. See highlights. 10.30 FILM: Flashdance (1983) 12.25am Secret Diary Of A Call Girl

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Born And Bred 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Terry And June 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Greatest Cities Of The World 10.00 Sharpe’s Peril 11.40 The Making Of Sharpe’s Peril 12.10am Numb3rs

11.15am Smallville: Superman The Early Years 12.05pm Everwood 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 90210 10.00 The Cleveland Show (x2) 11.05 Shameless 12.10am Skins 1.10 Scrubs (x2)

3.40pm Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Jamie’s 30-Minute Meals (x2) Meals 10.00 True Stories: Britain’s Supreme Court 11.35 FILM: Brokeback Mountain (2005) 2.10am True Stories

11.00am The Left Hand Of God (1955) 12.45pm Springfield Rifle (1952) 2.35 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 4.40 Black Swan Special 4.50 The Comancheros (1961) 6.55 Mad Money (2008) 9.00 Die Hard 4.0 (2007) 11.10 The Good German (2005) 1.40am The Limey (1999) 3.25 NEDS Special

Brighton Lights

If you want to join us in creating a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest MusicBar. 5.30pm Tuesdays

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wednesday 9 Beauty And The Beast: Ugly Face Of Prejudice Channel 4, 8pm Episode two in this show regarding attitudes to personal appearance brings Sarah – who claims the illustrious title of Britain’s most cosmetically enhanced woman – to Susan, who has had over 60 surgeries to correct damage caused by a tumour. Learn from each other.

I Was There... When The Beatles Played The Cavern ITV1, 10.35pm The old Cavern may no longer be there but the memories are, as is a new venue with the same name on the same site (really, it’s not The Tavern!) for new bands to play at. To mark the 50th anniversary of The Beatles first gig there, those that can remember the golden times.

Gossip Girl ITV2, 8pm It’s the beautiful people getting little wrinkles in their brows because life is so hard! Grab the Botox! Actually don’t because Blair’s happy. Who’da thunk it?

She’s offered an internship at a magazine, but then her smile is turned upside down when she hears Dan has landed a position there too. Boo! Nasty boys.

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¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Save My Holiday 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Bear Behaving Badly 4.00 Copycats 4.30 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.15am Children’s television 9.15 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Big Barn Farm 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.35 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 The Hairy Bakers 1.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.30 Climbing Great Buildings 3.00 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.55 The Secret Millionaire USA 9.55 Desperate Housewives 10.55 Country House Rescue 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 River Cottage Bites 12.20 FILM: Day Of The Outlaw (1959) 2.05 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 Build A New Life In The Country 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Mary Higgins Clark’s Pretend You Don’t See Her (2002) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Rip Off Britain Angela Rippon, Gloria Hunniford and Jennie Bond tackle the sharp practices making viewers hot under the collar.

8.00 Waterloo Road School-based drama. Year ten pupil Billie Taylor is convinced that her own mother is trying to steal her newborn daughter from her, so Janeece offers to help.

9.00 Forgotten Heroes Colonel Tim Collins, whose eve of battle speech before the invasion of Iraq brought him international fame, meets the soldiers who return home only to find that their service for Queen and country counts for little on civvy street.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10.45 Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman Claudia Winkleman and Danny Leigh review the week’s releases. Featuring: Never Let Me Go, True Grit, and Paul.

11.25 FILM: Diabolique (1996) Starring Sharon Stone, Isabelle Adjani, Chazz Palminteri, Kathy Bates.

Suspense thriller.

1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Country Tracks 2.10 Natural World 3.10 Save My Holiday 3.55 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. Eggs-cellent!

6.30 One Man And His Campervan In Norfolk, Martin gets knee deep in crab-infested mud to pick fresh samphire for his lunch. For his campervan dinner in a ciderproducing orchard, he creates a taste of the Australian outback.

7.00 Escape To The Country Series in which prospective buyers are helped to find their dream home.

8.00 Madagascar David Attenborough tells the story of Madagascar, a huge island of dramatic landscapes, where life has evolved in isolation for over 70 million years and more than 80 per cent of which is found nowhere else in the world.

9.00 A History Of Ancient Britain Neil Oliver travels back to ice age Britain as he begins the epic story of how our land and its people came to be over thousands of years of ancient history.

10.00 Have I Got Old News For You Popular news quiz repeat.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 Mad Men Drama series set in the world of advertising in 1960s New York.

12.10am The Chinese Are Coming 1.10 BBC News 4.00 On Top Of The Digital World (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 International Football: Denmark V England Adrian Chiles is joined by Gareth Southgate and Sam Allardyce for live coverage of England’s friendly international against Denmark at the Parken Stadium, Copenhagen. England coach Fabio Capello will be looking for an impressive performance in the first international of the year following the disappointment and failure of 2010.

Commentary from Peter Drury and Andy Townsend.

9.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Fresh from another British Comedy Awards win, Harry Hill is back with a brand new series of the best telly send-ups. With Dancing On Ice up and running, all the big soaps in full flow and even the odd Gypsy wedding to contend with, there are bound to be plenty of laughs for the big-collared comic to find.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 I Was There... When The Beatles Played The Cavern See highlights.

11.35 International Football: Denmark V England Highlights What do you mean you missed it?

Div. Alright, here are the best bits.

12.35am The Zone 2.35 FILM: The Thing (1982) 4.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks A tearful Theresa bids farewell to her family before leaving to escape from Kyle, but Ethan tries to convince her to stay.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Beauty And The Beast: Ugly Face Of Prejudice See highlights.

9.00 Mary Portas: Secret Shopper Consumer series in which Mary Portas turns her attention to the shopper and attempts to make Britain’s biggest retail chains put customers first. This time, her target is estate agents. She joins a London estate agent chain in a bid to improve customer service.

10.00 The Joy Of Teen Sex Series exploring the sex lives of today’s teenagers. Sammy is worried she may be allergic to sperm, Georgina hates her breasts, Josh is desperate to lose his virginity, and Beth is suffering from severe cystitis when she has sex. The team try to help solve their problems.

11.05 Shameless Gritty comedy drama. Repeat of yesterday’s episode.

12.05am MUSIC ON 4: Sounds From The Cities 12.40 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 12.55 Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 1.10 My Family’s Crazy Gap Year 2.05 Animal Madhouse 3.00 Food: What Goes In Your Basket?

3.55 ER 5.20 Countdown

6.00 Home And Away Sid is floored when Marilyn informs him that she is planning to adopt Nicole’s baby.

6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series from Colchester Zoo. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Monkey Life Series about Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. The world’s oldest woolly monkey, Xuzy, seems to be depressed. What to do?

8.00 Cowboy Builders Melinda and Dom are in Glasgow, where a hardworking family has been ripped off by a fledgling cowboy builder.

9.00 NCIS Crime drama series. Gibbs investigates whether his mentor, Mike Franks, was involved with the deaths of two soldiers in an internationally delicate incident.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. Goren and Eames travel to Vietnam to arrest a man claiming to have killed ten-year-old actress Amberleigh Harner in 1992.

Holes soon start to appear in the man’s story. Cheap flight motive?

10.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series.

Detectives are stunned to discover that a teenage boy is responsible for the murder of his young neighbour.

11.55 PartyPoker.com World Open VI 12.55am SuperCasino 4.05 The FBI Files 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Football 12.00pm Cricket World Cup – We Captured The Cup 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Football 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Cricket World Cup - We Captured The Cup 5.00 Revista De La Liga 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am Football 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 You’re On Sky Sports 3.30 Football 5.00 Football’s Greatest 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 8.00 Cricket World Cup 9.00 Poker: Full Tilt Million Dollar Cash Game 10.30 British Basketball League 12.30pm IRB Sevens 2.30 Poker: Full Tilt Million Dollar Cash Game 4.00 Badminton 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 IRB Sevens 9.00 European Tour Weekly 9.30 Inside The PGA Tour 10.00 NFL - Total Access 11.00 Inside The PGA Tour 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am IRB Sevens 2.00 Max Power 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Fed Cup Tennis 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.30am Saadiyat Beach Classic Golf 8.00 Sailing World Match Tour: Review Of The Year 9.00 IRB Sevens 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Badminton 2.00 Sailing World Match Tour: Review Of The Year 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 World Cup Of Pool 5.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE: Afterburn 7.00 Inside The PGA Tour 7.30 European Tour Weekly 8.00 World Matchplay Bowls 10.00 Ultimate Challenge MMA 11.30 Fed Cup Tennis 12.30am World Matchplay Bowls 2.30 Ultimate Challenge MMA 4.00 Close Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

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2.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Lie To Me 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Emergency Animal Rescue 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Dream Lives For Sale 9.00 Louie Spence’s Showbusiness 10.00 Best Of A League Of Their Own 11.00 Football’s Greatest (x2) 12.00am 99 Most Bizarre... (x2)

7.00pm The Real Hustle On Holiday 7.15 The Real Hustle On Holiday 7.25 FILM: Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2004) 9.00 Come Fly With Me 9.30 Come Fly On The Wall 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 Being Human 12.15am American Dad! (x2) 1.00 Come Fly On The Wall 2.00 American Dad! (x5)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Boats That Built Britain 8.00 Trafalgar Square: Carry On Plinthing 8.30 Angel Of The Valleys 9.00 Romancing The Stone: The Golden Ages Of British Sculpture 10.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Sir Anthony Caro 11.00 The Killing (x2) 12.55am Romancing The Stone

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Primeval 8.00 Gossip Girl.

See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) 11.15 FILM: The Matrix Revolutions (2003) 1.50am Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen USA

8.55am Terry And June 9.35 Ballykissangel 10.40 Inspector Morse 12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Born And Bred 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.05 Terry And June 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Born And Bred 8.00 Downton Abbey (x2) 10.35 Northanger Abbey 12.40am Kavanagh QC

11.10am Smallville: Superman The Early Years 12.05pm Everwood 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 FILM: The Italian Job (2003) 11.15 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 12.20am Scrubs (x2)

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.40 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Time Team Special 11.05 Man On Earth With Tony Robinson 12.05am Time Team 1.10 Time Team Special

11.00am Call Me Madam (1953) 1.15pm The House On Telegraph Hill (1951) 3.05 The Enemy Below (1957) 5.00 Indiscreet (1958) 7.00 Black Knight (2001) 8.50 Never Let Me Go Special 9.00 Working Girl (1988) 11.10 The Football Factory (2004) 12.55am Couscous (2007) 3.50 4Films For....

Brighton Lights

The Brighton Lights they make me feel so free I’m driving down the London Road To where I want to be In Party Town From Brighton Lights (200,000 people but a million dreams) Theme tune by Eminemmylou

www.thelatest.tv

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thursday 10 Human Planet BBC1, 8pm The photography of Human Planet takes to the skies and the mountain peaks this week, looking at how people survive literally on top of the world. From trained hawks hunting for them, to battling raiding monkeys who are after stealing one family’s store of grain, and a sky burial of the dead. Absolutely stunning.

Reputations BBC2, 9pm This ‘King’s Speech’ bloke is getting a lot of attention, what with his speech story being up for an Oscar an’ all that, so here’s Reputations’ take on what happened in the country, in the Royal Family, and in precedent, when one King abdicated and another was thrust into an unwanted spotlight...

Skins E4, 10pm Those reckless, feckless and fancy-free teens living life on the egde are back, and it’s a new batch or pretty young things. Out with the barely out of their teens, and in with the new! This week Mini is having a mare of a time, what with Grace bringing Franky to the charity fashion show, and things with Nick are rocky too.

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ITV1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Save My Holiday 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Bear Behaving Badly 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Serious Explorers: Livingstone 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 LazyTown 8.55 Numberjacks 9.15 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Big Barn Farm 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Ready Steady Cook 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.30 Climbing Great Buildings 3.00 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Dot is horrified when she catches Heather stealing from her while a lost and vulnerable Whitney pleads with Janine to let her return home.

8.00 Human Planet See highlights.

9.00 Outnumbered Comedy series about the daily rollercoaster of life with young children. Five-year-old Karen decides to leave home for Spain, or possibly Greenland. Mum and dad prepare for a dinner party, which leads to Ben being allowed to crack some eggs and getting his first taste of gin. The drink loosens tongues all round, and the dinner party becomes a disaster zone, but this time the parents cannot blame any of it on the kids. Fab. 9.30 Not Going Out Sitcom. Lee dreams of a perfect life with Lucy, but can the reality ever match up?

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Topical debate from Bristol.

11.35 This Week A political review of the week.

12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: WikiLeaks: The Secret Story – Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.55 Antiques Roadshow 2.55 Rip Off Britain 3.35 Save My Holiday 4.20 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. Eggs-istential. Not really.

6.30 One Man And His Campervan Martin Dorey finds a rather surprising bird that lays giant eggs and a farmer who makes chorizo sausage, Yorkshire style.

7.00 The Culture Show Andrew Graham-Dixon takes a tour of Westminster Abbey, currently undergoing restoration in preparation the royal wedding later this year.

8.00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best Series celebrating the very best of British home cooking.

9.00 Reputations See highlights.

10.00 Victorian Pharmacy Historical observational documentary series. The team discover the world of pharmacy at the beginning of Queen Victoria’s reign in 1837, when traditional remedies such as leeches, oil of earthworm and potions laced with cannabis and opium were popularly used. Yum! 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 Mad Men Drama series set in the world of advertising in 1960s New York.

12.10am The Culture Show 1.10 BBC News 4.00 Some Dogs Bite 5.25 The Making Of Some Dogs Bite

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Will Charity be tempted by Jai? 7.30 Too Old For TV?: Tonight Miriam O’Reilly, who recently won her employment tribunal against the BBC, reports on the issue of ageism in the media and the wider society.

8.00 Emmerdale Cain makes an unwelcome discovery.

8.30 Coronation Street Leanne is shocked by Nick’s bombshell. As her problems at college escalate, Sophie feels ignored by Kevin and Sally.

9.00 Marchlands Chilling drama. In 1968, Evelyn suggests to Ruth and Paul that they should visit a priest. In 1987, Helen and Eddie take Amy to see a psychiatrist and are shocked to learn that Social Services may get involved. In 2010, Nisha is finding Marchlands unsettling. Hmmm.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Odd One In Bradley Walsh presents the uproarious gameshow in which two celebrity teams try to spot the person with the unique skill, secret or story.

11.20 The Last Word A look at some of the big stories in the region with MPs and other prominent figures.

11.50 Grimefighters Following the daily lives of Britain’s clean up teams.

12.10am The Zone 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.10 Too Old For TV?: Tonight 3.35 Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.55 The Secret Millionaire USA 9.55 Desperate Housewives 10.55 Help!

My House Is Falling Down 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 River Cottage Bites 12.20 FILM: Broken Arrow (1950) 2.05 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Theresa sits tied and bound to a chair, pleading with Kyle to let her see to the baby. She is relieved when Warren calls.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Relocation, Relocation Phil revisits a family who were desperate to be reunited after ten years of living apart. Grant and Helen wanted a city pad in London, while Grant’s parents Ray and Connie were keen to relocate to Britain from South Africa and were looking for a coastal property in Kent.

9.00 Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day Six skilled builders try to construct the first authentic Roman villa in Britain in 1,600 years, using only tools and materials that were available to the Romans. The giant wooden frame has been successfully erected and the race is on to get the roof in place before the weather hits.

10.00 10 O’Clock Live Comedy and current affairs show hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne.

11.05 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Documentary series. Another chance to see Tuesday’s programme.

12.10am MUSIC ON 4: Topman Ctrl Mx 12.40 4Play: Rumer 12.55 Chapel Club 1.10 FILM: Dogville (2003) 4.10 Hill Street Blues 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 Build A New Life In The Country 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 2.55 Animal Rescue Squad 3.10 FILM: Mystery Woman: Oh Baby (2006) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Dex forms a bond with VJ when he takes it upon himself to help the younger boy prepare for high school.

6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series from Colchester Zoo, presented by Konnie Huq. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Top Trumps: Earthmovers Robert Llewellyn and Ashley Hames test their knowledge of extreme machines. The duo turn their attention to earthmovers.

8.00 Julius Caesar: Rome Unwrapped Historical documentary looking at the life and times of Julius Caesar. He was a one!

9.00 Justin Lee Collins: Turning Japanese Documentary. As Justin’s three weeks in the country draw to a close, he samples the day-to-day life of a typical Tokyoite, enjoys a less than relaxing break on Hokkaido and visits one of Japan’s eeriest places.

10.00 FILM: Just Cause (1995) Starring Sean Connery, Laurence Fishburne, Kate Capshaw, Blair Underwood, Ed Harris and Ruby Dee. Mystery thriller. A Harvard law professor is drawn into the case of a young black man on death row in Florida for the rape and murder of a girl. The lawyer uncovers disturbing facts about the conduct of the police.

12.05am SuperCasino 4.05 The FBI Files 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega Dubai Desert Classic 9.00 Inside The PGA Tour 9.30 Trans World Sport 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega Dubai Desert Classic 1.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Total Rugby 2.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega Dubai Desert Classic 6.30 Football’s Greatest 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 Ringside 11.30 The Rugby Club 12.30am Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Darts: Premier League 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 Ringside

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football 10.30 Football’s Greatest 11.00 World Matchplay Bowls 1.00pm Football 2.30 Football’s Greatest 3.00 World Matchplay Bowls 5.00 Total Rugby 5.30 Netball: Super League 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 1.00am WWE NXT 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 The Rugby Club 3.30 Time Of Our Lives 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 Tenpin Bowling 9.00 Sports Adventure 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Total Rugby 12.30 Sports Adventure 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 Tenpin Bowling 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 6.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE: Live PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Close

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ITV2

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12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Lie To Me 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Emergency Animal Rescue 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Futurama 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Mad Dogs 10.00 House 11.00 Inside: Prison Tactical 12.00am 99 Most Bizarre... (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Lunch Monkeys 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 12.45am Lunch Monkeys 1.15 The World’s Strictest Parents 2.15 Cannabis: What’s The Harm?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 South Africa Walks 8.00 The Men Who Built The Liners 9.00 Fig Leaf: The Biggest Cover-Up In History 10.00 Balmoral 11.00 Behind The Scenes At The Museum 12.00am Fig Leaf: The Biggest Cover-Up In History 1.00 Omnibus: Antony Gormley – The Iron Man

3.40pm Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x2) 6.30 Paul: Premiere Special 7.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.00 American Idol 9.00 Konnie Huq: Under Pressure 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.45 FILM: Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) 12.50am Coronation Street

10.40am Inspector Morse 12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Born And Bred 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.05 Terry And June 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Born And Bred 8.00 Monk 9.00 Martin Clunes: Islands Of Britain 10.00 Lewis 12.00am Inspector Morse 1.55 Film File

12.05pm Everwood 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 Skins. See highlights. 11.05 Rude Tube: Ultimate Champions 12.10am Scrubs

2.35pm Come Dine With Me Down Under 3.05 Coach Trip 3.40 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 The Big C 11.35 The Closer 12.35am The Good Wife

11.00am Pather Panchali (1955) 1.25pm The Spy In Black (1939) 3.10 Pickup On South Street (1953) 4.50 Do Not Disturb (1965) 6.50 Last Holiday (2006) 9.00 The Brave One (2007) 11.25 The Business (2005) 1.10am Renaissance (2006) 3.10 Never Let Me Go Special 3.20 4Films For....

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friday 11 The Mentalist Five, 9pm S’magic! How does he do it? How does he pick up the smallest detail and come to correct conclusions? You know, these questions sound an awful lot like those asked concerning Sherlock Holmes. No matter. Tonight Jane is on the track of a banker murderer. Some think it’s an investor, but he’s not convinced.

Fast And Loose BBC2, 10pm Those wacky improvisation guys.

You guys! From Dan Patterson – the brains behind Whose Line Is It Anyway? – comes this fresher younger more contemporary forum for non stand-up comedy, and it’s fun. Hosted by Hugh Dennis and with Greg Davies, Justin Edwards, Pippa Evans, Humphrey Ker and Laura Solon.

Him & Her BBC3, 11.30pm Another chance to catch this rather successful and critically acclaimed BBC3 comedy enterprise. Starring the lovely Russell Tovey as, well, Him, this focuses on a twentysomething unemployed couple behind closed doors. Becky’s dad’s coming round to fix the fridge and Steve’s rather tense about it. Ah.

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¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Save My Holiday 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Bear Behaving Badly 4.00 Dani’s House 4.30 Tracy Beaker Returns 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Quiz.

8.00 EastEnders Zainab and Masood get much more than they bargained for when they put aside their misgivings and meet with Yusef.

8.30 QI Quiz show where guests get more points for being interesting.

Stephen Fry gives gifts, with help from Jan Ravens, Jimmy Carr, Clive Anderson and Alan Davies.

9.00 Hustle Drama about a group of con artists. Ash is outraged to learn that his old football club has gone into administration, brought down by the greed of one corrupt football agent, Don Coleman. Guess who’s getting conned next?

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham is joined by Hollywood star Sigourney Weaver, Professor Brian Cox; and comedienne Sandi Toksvig.

11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.30 FILM: Right At Your Door (2006) Starring Mary McCormack, Rory Cochrane. Thriller about the aftermath of a terrorist attack.

1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: At Home With The Georgians 2.05 Horizon: What Is Reality? 3.05 Climbing Great Buildings 3.35 Save My Holiday 4.20 BBC News

BBC2

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Dennis & Gnasher 8.30 LazyTown 8.55 Numberjacks 9.15 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Big Barn Farm 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Ready Steady Cook 12.30pm GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.30 Real Rescues 3.00 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. No ham.

6.30 One Man And His Campervan It’s an early start on Holy Island.

7.00 Julia Bradbury’s German Wanderlust Julia takes to the Continent to explore the landscape of Germany and the cultural movement that made it famous - Romanticism.

7.30 Island Parish Following a year in the life of the most southerly islands of the Outer Hebrides.

8.00 Mastermind Topics are: the life and music of Richard Thompson, the life and films of Ray Harryhausen, Stephen King; and the plays of Shakespeare.

8.30 Life In A Cottage Garden With Carol Klein Plantswoman Carol Klein shares a year in her garden at Glebe Cottage in Devon.

9.00 Can’t Take It With You Sir Gerry Robinson talks to two couples facing tough decisions over what will happen to their children in the event of their deaths.

10.00 Fast And Loose See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 The Review Show Arts and culture discussion programme.

11.50 FILM: A Guide To Recognising Your Saints (2006) Starring Dianne Wiest, Robert Downey Jr, Shia LaBeoufs.

Electrifying coming-of-age drama.

1.25am FILM: Alpha Male (2006) 3.00 BBC News

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.55 The Secret Millionaire USA 9.55 Desperate Housewives 10.55 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 FILM: Prince Valiant (1954) 2.05 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain gets his own back on Charity – with explosive results.

7.30 Coronation Street Sally gets more than she bargained for when she confronts Rosie’s agent.

8.00 Children’s Hospital Lorraine Kelly presents the observational documentary series set in the Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital.

8.30 Coronation Street Feeling betrayed, Peter plays mind games with Nick and Leanne.

9.00 Comedy Rocks With Jason Manford Jason Manford presents more top comedy and music. He is joined by Julian Clary, Brighton funnywoman Zoe Lyons and Essex motormouth Russell Kane, while this week’s house band is McFly..

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 30 Years Of An Audience With... Last in the series celebrating three decades of popular entertainment show An Audience With.... This episode looks back at unforgettable performances by Des O’Connor, Al Murray, Ronnie Corbett, Kylie Minogue and Michael Buble.

11.35 Take Me Out Satiurday night dating show. It’s not Saturday.

12.45am The Zone 2.45 October Road 3.30 Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks In the aftermath of Kyle’s attack, the wounded are rushed to hospital.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.25 4thought.tv 7.30 Father Ray Comes Out Anna Llewellyn’s documentary follows an Anglican vicar as he shares a very personal secret with his congregation: he is gay.

8.00 Relocation: Phil Down Under Tony and Nicky Hale are looking for a permanent family home on the Gold Coast and have a one million dollar budget. It better have a pool.

9.00 Embarrassing Bodies Christian Jessen, Dawn Harper and Pixie McKenna attempt to destigmatize medical complaints.

10.00 The Million Pound Drop Live Davina McCall hosts the game show in which contestants can win or lose life-changing amounts of money live.

11.20 10 O’Clock Live Comedy and current affairs show hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne. Look at the title do you think it might be a repeat?

12.25am MUSIC ON 4: Countdown To The Shockwaves NME Awards 2011 12.45 Topman Ctrl Mx 1.10 The Album Chart Show 1.20 My Name Is Earl (x2) 2.05 FILM: Lemming (2005) 4.15 Hair: It’s All Good 4.20 Limb-OXtreme 4.25 Perfect 4.30 Brothers And Sisters 5.15 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 Build A New Life In The Country 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 2.55 Animal Rescue Squad 3.10 FILM: Lying To Be Perfect (2010) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away April makes a surprise return to Summer Bay, and it soon becomes clear to Bianca and Xavier that all is not well with her.

6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series from Colchester Zoo, presented by Konnie Huq. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Vets In Action Documentary series following four teams of country vets. Ellie, a young King Charles spaniel, has been in labour for 24 hours but has yet to give birth.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers As another heavy snow-storm halts many of the truckers in their tracks, Lisa struggles to meet an important deadline and Ray gets caught out in the storm.

9.00 The Mentalist See highlights.

10.00 Law And Order American crime drama series. The murdered body of a housewife is found dressed in provocative clothing. While investigating a potentially dangerous schizophrenic as a suspect in the murder, the victim’s teenage daughter is kidnapped.

10.55 NCIS Crime drama series.

Gibbs investigates whether his mentor, Mike Franks, was involved with the deaths of two soldiers in an internationally delicate incident.

11.55 Cops In Crisis Documentary.

12.15am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 Royal Navy: Caribbean Patrol 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega Dubai Desert Classic 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Football’s Greatest 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega Dubai Desert Classic 1.30pm Barclays Premier League World 2.00 The Rugby Club 6.30 Football’s Greatest 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Live Premiership Rugby Union 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.00 Football League Weekend 12.00am Boots ‘n’ All 1.30 Take It Like A Fan 2.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.30 Football League Weekend 3.30 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 Take It Like A Fan 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Kings Of The Snow 9.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 10.00 The Rugby Club 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 Kings Of The Snow 12.00pm Ringside 1.00 LIVE Premier League Darts 4.30 Football’s Greatest 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Boots N All Special 9.30 Airsports World 10.00 Tight Lines 11.00 NFL Total Access 12.00am Premiership Rugby Union 1.30 Elite League Ice Hockey 2.30 Tight Lines 3.30 Premiership Rugby Union 5.00 NFL Total Access

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 Netball: Super League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Netball: Super League 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 WWE: Raw 6.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Airsports World 4.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 5.00 Kings Of The Snow 5.30 Airsports World

Victoria Nangle

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BBC4

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12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Lie To Me 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Emergency Animal Rescue 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 The Simpsons (x2) 10.00 Louie Spence’s Showbusiness 11.00 Got To Dance: SemiFinals 12.30am Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.30 The Lock Up 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Lunch Monkeys 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 11.30 Him & Her 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 The Lock Up 1.15 Lunch Monkeys 1.45 Him & Her

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Sergei Rachmaninoff: The Harvest Of Sorrow 9.00 Reggae Britannia 10.30 Reggae Britannia At The Barbican 12.00am The Old Grey Whistle Test 12.45 Rock Goes To College 1.30 Reggae Britannia 3.00 Reggae Britannia At The Barbican

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x2) 6.35 Adam Sandler: The Hot Desk 6.50 Take Me Out 8.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 9.00 American Idol: Road To Hollywood 10.00 FILM: Batman (1989) 12.35am Celebrity Juice

10.40am Inspector Morse 12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Born And Bred 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.05 Terry And June 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Born And Bred 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 11.15 Wycliffe 12.20am Monk 1.10 FILM: The Reality Of Love (2003)

11.10 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 12.05pm Everwood 1.00 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Tool Academy 12.15am Scrubs (x2)

1.35pm Deal Or No Deal 2.35 Come Dine With Me Down Under 3.05 Coach Trip 3.40 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: Braveheart (1995) 12.20am Heroes Of Comedy: Ronnie Corbett

11.00am Bugles In The Afternoon (1952) 12.40pm The Comancheros (1961) 2.45 How To Steal A Million (1966) 5.05 Jane Eyre (1944) 7.05 Meet Dave (2008) 9.00 Run, Fat Boy, Run (2007) 10.55 Raising Arizona (1987) 12.50am Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story Of Ozploitation! (2008)

Brighton Lights

The Brighton Lights they make me feel so free I’m driving down the London Road To where I want to be In Party Town From Brighton Lights (200,000 people but a million dreams) Theme tune by Eminemmylou

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saturday 12 Ant & Dec’s Push The Button ITV1, 7.20pm Those cheeky Northern chappies are back with another series, and this time it’s live! Except for the pre-recorded bits. But the live bits are definitely live, as the two families competing to hang on to the £100,000 pot will attest. The other bits include the best mates going head-to-head, and a mystery celeb challenge.

Take Me Out ITV1, 8.35pm It’s the dating game with a bit of pizazz and quite a few strong personalities. Hosted by Paddy McGuinness and featuring a string of men trying to appeal to all the single ladies (“all the single ladies” – gotta sing it), this is as raucous as West Street on a Saturday night. Fun and full of the promise of a snog at the end.

Film: Braveheart More4, 11.05pm A little late for Burns Night but better late than never. Back when Mel Gibson was better known for his acting than his extra curricular escapades this telling of the 13th century William Wallace story was a real highlight in his CV. Winning five Oscars including Best Picture, celebrate free Scotland tonight.

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¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Baking Made Easy 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 British Olympic Dreams 1.30 A Question Of Sport 2.00 Six Nations Rugby: England V Italy 4.25 BBC News 4.30 South East Today 4.35 Six Nations Rugby: Scotland V Wales

6.00am Bob The Builder 7.00 Basil And Barney’s Game Show 7.30 Arthur 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.30 Project Parent 9.00 Dick And Dom’s Funny Business 10.00 Trapped: Ever After 10.30 OOglies 10.45 Copycats 11.15 My Life: Toy Soldiers 11.45 MOTD Kickabout 12.00pm Escape To The Country 1.00 FILM: Fort Apache (1948) 3.00 Into The West 4.30 Final Score 5.15 FILM: Easy Virtue (2008)

6.00 – 7.25am Children’s television 7.25 Monk 7.30 Beyblade: Metal Fusion 7.55 Horrid Henry 8.10 The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody 8.35 Hannah Montana 9.00 Cool Stuff Collective 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.45 This Morning: Saturday 12.50pm Monk 1.50 ITV News & Weather 1.55 FILM: Looney Tunes: Back In Action (2003) 3.35 FILM: Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 5.55 Meridian News And Weather

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freesports On 4 7.55 The Morning Line 8.50 Friends 9.15 Olly Murs: Stars And Strikes 10.15 Glee 11.15 Friends 11.50 Just Go With It: T4 Movie Special 12.20pm Friends 12.55 The Big Bang Theory 1.20 The Big Bang Theory 1.50 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 The Secret Supper Club 4.25 Come Dine With Me 4.55 Come Dine With Me 5.25 Come Dine With Me 5.55 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Funky Valley 8.30 Play! 8.40 Rupert Bear 9.00 Olivia 9.10 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 Meals In Moments 10.10 Extraordinary Dogs 10.40 How Do They Do It? 11.10 Laureus World Sports Awards 2011 12.10pm Ice Road Truckers 1.10 Megastructures 2.10 FILM: Rear Window (1954) 4.20 FILM: North By Northwest (1959)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Boots ‘n’ All 8.00 The Sky Sports Years 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega Dubai Desert Classic 1.00pm Live Super League 3.00 LIVE Super League 5.00 LIVE Super League 7.00 LIVE Super League 9.00 LIVE Saturday Fight Night 11.00 The Sky Sports Years 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Saturday Fight Night 4.30 Spanish Football

7.00 Total Wipeout If people banging into huge foam shapes, falling into water and contorting themselves into the most ridiculous positions, is the kind of thing that makes you laugh – then Total Wipeout is the show for you. Hosted

by Richard Hammond and Amanda Byram, it makes us yearn for the dangerous 70s adventure playgrounds that are now outlawed.

8.00 The National Lottery: Secret Fortune High-tension quiz show hosted by Nick Knowles. Plus those magic numbers.

8.50 Casualty Drama series about the staff and patients at Holby General’s emergency department.

9.40 Come Fly With Me Another hectic day in the life of an airport terminal. On their latest disastrous package holiday, Peter and Judith have got mixed up in the dark arts of voodoo; Tommy finally gets his interview to be a pilot; Fearghal has his fingers crossed for a Golden Trolley at the Steward of the Year Awards.

10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights from the day’s eight Barclays Premier League matches.

11.55 The Football League Show Action from the npower Football League.

1.15am Weatherview 1.20 News

6.45 Flog It! Members of the public are invited to try to make money out of their antiques by taking a risk at auction. Recession TV perhaps?

7.30 Dad’s Army Classic comedy.

When the wardens’ HQ is bombed, they have to share the church hall with the Home Guard, despite Captain Mainwaring’s disapproval.

8.00 Blackadder Rides Again Documentary looking at the muchloved sitcom from its first transmission in 1983. The programme features an exclusive in-depth interview with Edmund Blackadder himself, Rowan Atkinson, the first time he has agreed to talk about his experiences making the show.

9.00 Faulks On Fiction In this second episode, author Faulks looks at how literary lovers have taught us the truth about love.

10.00 The Tudors Historical drama series. Henry’s triumphal royal visit to Yorkshire has set-backs, public and private, while Katherine’s past peccadilloes begin to come to light.

10.50 Nurse Jackie Drama comedy.

Dr O’Hara covers for Zoe after she breaks the rules to save a boy’s life.

11.20 Fast And Loose Repeat of Friday’s improvised comedy show.

11.50 FILM: La Vie En Rose (2007) Starring Marion Cotillard, Sylvie Testud. Award-winning biopic of French chanteuse and diva Edith Piaf.

2.00am FILM: Repulsion (1965)

6.05 ITV News; Weather 6.20 New You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill showcases more of the funniest footage filmed by viewers on their camcorders and mobile phones.

6.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Bigcollared comic Harry Hill has spent a week rummaging through our favourite telly to offer his comic spin on the goings on in soapland, reality TV and drama. With Louie Spence, Birth Of Britain and the ever-popular Dancing On Ice occupying the airwaves, expect a gag-packed and unmissable edition of the show.

7.20 Ant & Dec’s Push The Button See highlights.

8.35 Take Me Out See highlights.

9.50 Benidorm Comedy set in the titular holiday resort. Gavin discovers that Troy is apparently cheating on him. The Oracle’s tall tales get him in trouble with the police. Martin’s mother Diana comes to help him, but only succeeds in making him feel much, much worse. And Mel and Madge take to the stage at the Benidorm Palace. Cripes!

10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004) Starring Simon Pegg, Kate Ashfield, Bill Nighy, Nick Frost, Lucy Davis, Dylan Moran and Penelope Wilton. Zombie-filled romantic comedy.

12.50am The Zone 2.55 The Starter Wife 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.25 The Political Slot 6.30 Channel 4 News 6.55 4thought.tv 7.00 FILM: The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) Starring Sean Connery, Shane West, Stuart Townsend, Naseeruddin Shah, Jason Flemyng and Terry O’Neil.

Comic book adventure in which a team of superheroes go on a mission to find out who is behind the war being waged against their Empire.

9.00 The Million Pound Drop Live Davina McCall hosts the game show in which contestants can win or lose life-changing amounts of money live on TV. Shout at the TV time!

10.20 FILM: Alien Vs Predator (2004) Starring Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova, Lance Henriksen, Tommy Flanagan and Ewen Bremner. Sci-fi horror. A team of explorers discover a temple buried deep within the Antarctic ice and find themselves trapped in an ancient battlezone with the two most ferocious species in the galaxy. Oops. No seriously, with the size of those teeth and those weapons, it’s a mighty big Oops.

12.10am The Furred Man 12.20 FILM: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 2.15 My Friend Michael Sniff 2.20 A Guide To Taking A Photo 2.25 This Is J03 2.30 Dirty Sexy Money (x2) 4.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 4.30 Beauty And The Geek 5.15 Countdown

6.55 Five News 7.00 NCIS Drama series. The team learns that ten kilos of highly toxic chemical weapons have fallen into the hands of a dangerous terrorist.

7.45 NCIS US drama series. Ducky must go undercover to stop the sale of the navy’s new weapons system to an arms dealer.

8.40 CSI: Miami Crime drama series.

When a drug dealer is murdered during a solar eclipse, the CSIs match ligature marks on the victim’s neck to another recent murder and realise they have a serial killer on their hands. Or not. They’ve got to find him first. Dang these technicalities.

9.40 CSI: NY Crime drama series. A badly decomposed body is found on a downtown rooftop. While the team investigate, the case is turned on its head when the true identity of the body is revealed.

10.40 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Forensic drama series.

The killer from earlier episode The Execution of Catherine Willows returns with deadly results. The entire team is engaged in a race against time to stop this sadistic killer from succeeding again.

11.40 Forensic Files Documentary.

12.10am SuperCasino 4.00 Emergency Bikers 4.50 Meals In Moments 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Trans World Sport 7.00 Take It Like A Fan 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Live Ford Football Special 3.15 The Sky Sports Years 4.15 Airsports World 4.45 Sky Sports Classics 5.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Football First: Match Choice 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football’s Greatest 6.30 Premiership Rugby Union 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 NFL – America’s Game 10.00 WWE: Smackdown 12.00pm WWE: The Bottom Line 1.00 LIVE Rotterdam Tennis 3.00 Road To London 3.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.00 European Tour Golf 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am The Sky Sports Years 2.00 NFL – America’s Game 3.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 4.00 Max Power 5.00 Take It Like A Fan 5.30 Airsports World

Victoria Nangle

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2.00pm Futurama: Welcome To The World Of Tomorrow 2.15 FILM: Merlin: The Return (2000) 4.00 Futurama (x4) 6.00 The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Scorpion King (2002) 10.45 Road Wars 11.45 Drug Wars: D.E.A. 12.45am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Live At The Apollo 9.45 FILM: Air Force One (1997) 11.40 Family Guy (x2) 12.25am American Dad! (x2) 1.10 Live At The Apollo 1.55 The Lock Up 2.25 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 3.25 Great Movie Mistakes 4.20 Hotter Than My Daughter

7.00pm South Pacific 8.00 Glamour’s Golden Age 9.00 The Killing 10.00 The Killing 10.55 How TV Ruined Your Life 11.25 Getting On 11.55 Maid In Britain 12.55am Gods And Monsters: Homer’s Odyssey 1.55 Vatican: The Hidden World 2.55 Glamour’s Golden Age

1.15pm FILM: Step Up 2: The Streets (2008) 3.10 Take Me Out 4.25 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 4.50 New You’ve Been Framed! 5.20 American Idol (x2) 7.15 FILM: Liar Liar (1997) 9.00 FILM: Batman Begins (2005) 11.45 Celebrity Juice 12.30am FILM: The Illusionist (2006) 2.35 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

9.45am Upstairs, Downstairs (x2) 12.00pm Agatha Christie’s Marple 2.00 FILM: Murder, She Wrote: South By Southwest (1997) 3.50 Foyle’s War 5.55 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Midsomer Murders 11.00 Murder In Suburbia 12.05am Inspector Morse 1.50 Drama Trails

11.35am Supernanny US (x2) 1.25pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.00 Make It Or Break It 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 50 Greatest Plastic Surgery Shockers 11.15 FILM: Date Movie (2006) 12.50am The Cleveland Show

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x4) 1.40pm 3 Minute Wonder 1.45 FILM: Anna And The King (1999) 4.35 Grand Designs (x5) 10.00 Nefertiti And The Lost Dynasty 11.05 FILM: Braveheart (1995). See highlights.

2.25am Nefertiti And The Lost Dynasty 3.30 Time Team 4.30 Close

11.00am The Time Machine (1960) 12.50pm Paul Special 1.00 Black Knight (2001) 2.50 Carry On Sergeant (1958) 4.30 Never Let Me Go Special 4.35 True Grit (1969) 7.05 Paul Special 7.10 Napoleon Dynamite (2004) 9.00 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) 11.05 Young Frankenstein (1974) 1.10am The Abyss (1989)

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sunday 13 Dancing On Ice ITV1, 6.35pm Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby present a specially themed ‘Night At The Theatre’ Dancing On Ice, probably heralding the entrance of even more outlandish costumes for the celebs and some class movie soundtracks. We shall definitely be disappointed if there’s not a tune from The Jungle Book.

BAFTA Film Awards 2011 BBC1, 9pm Jonathan Ross may no longer be at the helm of Film 2011 but he’s firmly fair and square at the front of prominent film buffs so it makes perfect sense for him to be hosting the BAFTAs once again. With famous people looking less than chilled, tenterhooks will be on by all to find out who’s getting a gong.

Being Human BBC3, 9pm The supernatural housemates are learning and growing – pretty fast-ish as it turns out as George and Nina need to find other werewolves to find out exactly what might happen come full moon, with Nine in the family way and all. Mitchell’s a tad nervous about more weres – what with the prediction an’ all. Yikes.

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Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 EastEnders 2.30 Six Nations Rugby: Ireland V France 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00am Bob The Builder: Project Build It Special 6.25 Postman Pat Specials 6.50 Chuggington: Badge Quest 7.00 Basil And Barney’s Game Show 7.30 Arthur 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.30 Gimme A Break 9.00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 9.30 Cop School 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman 12.00pm Monk 12.45 FILM: The Wrong Man (1956) 2.30 EastEnders 3.00 Priceless Antiques Roadshow 3.10 Flog It! 3.40 Escape To The Country 4.25 Madagascar 5.25 Ski Sunday 6.10 FILM: Shanghai Knights (2003) Starring Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Donnie Yen, Aidan Gillen, Fann Wong and Tom Fisher.

Anachronistic comedy sequel to Shanghai Noon. Two buddies head to 19th-century London to take back the Imperial Seal of China, which has been stolen by an evil English lord.

The English really are dastardly.

8.00 Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May set out to buy second hand convertibles and discover some of the unusual pitfalls to watch out for when picking up a used car bargain.

See who the hosts offend this week.

9.00 Toughest Place To Be A...

Series where British workers are challenged to do their job under some of the toughest conditions in the world. Angie Dymott, a paramedic from Cardiff, arrives in Guatemala City – a place with one of the highest violent crime rates in the world, and where large areas are ruled by vicious street gangs.

10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Colin Murray introduces highlights from the Premier League match between Bolton and Everton.

10.50 FILM: Cry Of The Owl (2009) Starring Paddy Considine, Julia Stiles, Karl Pruner and Phillip MacKenzie. Thriller.

12.25am FILM: Expired (2007) 2.05 BBC News

6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Handy Manny 7.10 Curious George 7.25 Monk 7.30 Beyblade: Metal Fusion 7.55 Cool Stuff Collective 8.20 X-Men 8.45 SpongeBob SquarePants 9.00 Wizards Of Waverly Place 9.25 May The Best House Win 10.25 The Biggest Loser 11.30 This Morning: Sunday 12.30pm Dinner Date 1.25 ITV News & Weather 1.30 Columbo: Candidate For Crime 3.30 Midsomer Murders 5.35 Meridian News And Weather 5.50 ITV News & Weather 6.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Another chance to catch yesterday’s show.

6.35 Dancing On Ice See highlights.

8.30 Wild At Heart In his role as state vet, Danny works with wealthy conservationist Anton Ziegler to catch a group of leopard hunters. Ziegler is in the process of buying a tiger from Vanessa, who is still struggling with her finances and desperately needs the money to ensure Mara’s future.

But when the tiger dies soon after arriving at Ziegler’s, the finger of blame points at Alice.

9.30 Dancing On Ice: The SkateOff Phillip and Holly reveal the results of the public vote.

10.00 That Sunday Night Show Adrian Chiles is joined by Dragons’ Den entrepreneur and author Duncan Bannatyne to look at the week’s big news stories.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 Freddie Flintoff Versus The World Recently retired cricketing hero Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff continues his trip across the American continent, trying his hand at more extreme sports.

11.45 Comedy Rocks With Jason Manford Another chance to catch Friday’s show. Did we mention Zoe Lyons is on it?

12.40am Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership 1.35 The Zone 2.00 FILM: The Birds (1963) 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 FIS World Snowboarding Championships 7.25 That Paralympic Show 7.50 Battlefront 8.10 Friends 8.40 Friends 9.10 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.50 Glee 12.50pm The Simpsons 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 2.25 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 2.55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3.25 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3.55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4.25 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Time Team

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Little Princess 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Family!

8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 The Family Recipe 10.05 Animal Rescue Squad 10.25 Stansted: The Inside Story 11.25 Emergency Bikers 12.25pm Cowboy Builders 1.25 FILM: 40 Guns To Apache Pass (1967) 3.15 FILM: What A Girl Wants (2003) 5.15 FILM: Pocahontas (1995)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Game Of The Day 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Football League: Championship 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am Spanish Football 1.30 Ford Football Special 3.00 Spanish Football 4.30 Ford Football Special

6.30 Channel 4 News 6.55 4thought.tv 7.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series with dinner parties.

8.00 The People’s Supermarket Chef and eco-restaurateur Arthur Potts Dawson tries to change the way Britons shop by launching a supermarket owned by its customers.

The store is now open and the members have their work cut out to make the business succeed.

9.00 The Promise Drama serial about an 18-year-old Londoner who retraces the steps of her grandfather, a peace-keeping soldier in 1940s Palestine, in modern-day Israel. In the past, Len meets Abu-Hassan Mohammed, an Arab working for the British Army, and is appalled to witness how he is treated. In modern Israel, Erin faces the aftermath of the attack on a cafe by a Palestinian suicide bomber, but resolves to stay.

10.50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Repeat of Monday’s show.

11.55 FILM: LA Confidential (1997) Starring Guy Pearce, Russell Crowe, Danny DeVito, Kevin Spacey, James Cromwell and Kim Basinger. Dark, pacy double-cross thriller about two cops drawn together by an obsession with the same murder case and the same woman.

2.35am Momma’s Boy 2.45 The Family 3.40 Wedding House 4.35 Brothers And Sisters 5.25 Countdown

6.55 Five News 7.00 FILM: North Sea Hijack (1980) Starring Roger Moore, James Mason, Anthony Perkins, Michael Parks, David Hedison and Jack Watson.

Gripping adventure story about a group of terrorists who threaten to blow up two North Sea oil rigs by using a stolen ship as a floating bomb. Just the thing for a Sunday evening. Hmmm.

9.00 FILM: Revolver (2005) Starring Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Vincent Pastore. Complex crime thriller. A terminally ill con man is released from prison after seven years inside for a crime he did not commit. The ex-con takes revenge over the gangster who framed him by thrashing him in a high-stakes game of poker. Having humiliated his enemy and won his money, the con man finds himself on borrowed time as the disease takes its toll and the gangster’s heavies set out to kill him.

11.15 FILM: An American Haunting (2006) Starring Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, James d’Arcy. Horror thriller based on the legend of the Bell Witch, a poltergeist that tormented a family in 19th-century Tennessee.

1.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Cowboy Builders 4.50 Meals In Moments 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

8.00am Spanish Football 9.30 Saturday Fight Night 11.30 Live Super League 2.00pm Live Super League 4.00 LIVE Super League 6.30 LIVE IRB Sevens 12.30am History Of The Cricket World Cup 1.30 History Of The Cricket World Cup 2.30 Tennis 4.30 Close

6.00 Antiques Roadshow The Roadshow team head to the atmospheric ruins of Bolton Abbey in Yorkshire where a rich haul of treasures are brought in by visitors.

7.00 Countryfile Matt Baker and Ellie Harrison head for Northern Ireland on a journey that takes them from the windswept Antrim Coast to the ancient forests of the Lagan Valley, on the outskirts of Belfast.

8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. Gabriel has finally completed the machine which he hopes will restore his fortunes, and soon farmers are clamouring to buy his invention. Dorcas is delighted for him, until she realises that its success could mean his departure from Candleford.

9.00 BAFTA Film Awards 2011 See highlights.

11.00 BBC News 11.15 South East Today 11.25 FILM: Girl With A Pearl Earring (2003) Starring Scarlett Johansson, Colin Firth, Tom Wilkinson, Judy Parfitt, Cillian Murphy. Drama inspired by a portrait of a young woman painted by 17th-century Dutch artist Johannes Vermeer.

1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.05 Making Scotland’s Landscape 3.05 Climbing Great Buildings 3.35 Rip Off Britain 4.05 BBC News

Sky Sports 2

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 Sports Adventure 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm History Of The Cricket World Cup 2.00 History Of The Cricket World Cup 3.00 Wild Spirits 3.30 This Week In WWE 4.00 European Tour Golf 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.30 European Tour Golf 1.30am Wild Spirits 2.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm The Real A & E 1.00 A Town Called Eureka 2.00 Emergency Animal Rescue (x2) 3.00 Futurama (x2) 4.00 The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: SemiFinals 7.30 The Simpsons (x3) 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 House 12.00am Drug Wars: D.E.A. 1.00 Road Wars

7.00pm The Real Hustle On Holiday 7.30 BAFTA Film Awards 2011: Red Carpet 8.00 Great Movie Mistakes 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Being Human 12.30am Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.30 Great Movie Mistakes 2.30 Coming Of Age

7.00pm The Story Of Science: Power, Proof And Passion 8.00 Romancing The Stone: The Golden Ages Of British Sculpture 9.00 Rocksteady: The Roots Of Reggae 10.35 Rise Up Reggae Star: Storyville 11.35 FILM: Babylon (1980) 1.05am Reggae Britannia At The Barbican 2.35 Reggae Britannia

1.30pm American Idol (x2) 3.25 FILM: Step Up 2: The Streets (2008) 5.25 New You’ve Been Framed! 5.55 Take Me Out 7.05 FILM: Evan Almighty (2007) 9.00 Benidorm 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 10.30 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 12.45am American Idol 1.40 Dancing On Ice

8.15am Heartbeat (x2) 10.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.40 A Touch Of Frost 1.55pm Inspector Morse 4.00 FILM: Clockwise (1986) 6.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.05 Agatha Christie’s Marple 1.10am A Touch Of Frost 3.00 Film File

11.35am Supernanny US (x2) 1.20pm Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 2.20 How To Look Good Naked 2.55 Make It Or Break It 3.50 FILM: The Italian Job (2003) 6.00 Friends (x3) 7.30 90210 8.25 Friends (x3) 10.00 FILM: Kingpin (1996) 12.20am David Blaine’s Street Magic 1.20 Wife Swap USA

12.45pm The Coach Trip (x5) 3.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 6.25 My Place In The Sun (x2) 7.30 The TV Book Club 8.00 The Year Britain Froze 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 Katie: My Beautiful Face 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 Spaced 12.10am The IT Crowd 12.45 Curb Your Enthusiasm 1.20 Deal Or No Deal

11.00am Springfield Rifle (1952) 12.50pm Never Let Me Go Special 1.00 Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 3.00 A Walk In The Clouds (1995) 5.00 Dunston Checks In (1996) 6.40 School Of Rock (2004) 9.00 Office Space (1999) 10.45 Rushmore (1998) 12.35am The Good German (2005)

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Football Fans, a brand new show on Latest TV. Hosted byThe Treason Show’s Mark Brailsford. This is a brand new show that no Albion fan should miss.

www.thelatest.tv

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monday 14 Episodes BBC2, 10pm ...And we’re back where we started. Beverly is convinced that Sean is having an affair with Morning and packs her bag in a dramatic leaving act. More dramatic than she thinks, because as she drives off into the sunset, she does it on the wrong side of the road, leading to quite a collision with a certain Matt.

Steven Seagal V Justin Lee Collins Five, 10pm Steven Seagal is a lot of things.

Here goes: producer, actor, director, martial artist, Buddhist, Zen teacher, environmentalist and musician. And unafraid of what lovely hairy JLC will find with his unprecedented access to his life and mind. Quite what will pop up is anyone’s guess.

Glee E4, 9pm The musical high school underdogs’ particular underdog, Kurt, is getting fed up with the constant barrage of homophobic bullying he has to undergo from the closeted man-mountain football player. But lo, what light?

Is that a Dalton Academy glint of hope for our pale-skinned hero?

And one with a winning smile too.

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Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Save My Holiday 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Bear Behaving Badly 3.55 The Owl 4.00 The Big Performance 4.30 Blue Peter 4.55 Shaun The Sheep 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.15am Children’s television 9.15 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Big Barn Farm 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Ready Steady Cook 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 From Thames To Tigris 1.30 Due South 2.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.00 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Desperate Housewives 10.55 Relocation: Phil Down Under 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The TV Book Club 12.30 FILM: Laura (1944) 2.10 Cookery School 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal: Love Week 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.55 The WotWots 9.05 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 Build A New Life In The Country 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 2.55 Animal Rescue Squad 3.10 FILM: Derby (2007) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show.

7.30 Inside Out Kaddy Lee-Preston learns more about the region’s floating prisons, and why demand for nude models is growing.

8.00 EastEnders When Jack attacks Michael for making a pass at Ronnie, Michael retaliates with a shocking revelation that leaves Jack reeling.

8.30 Classroom Warriors – Panorama Panorama goes back to school to examine Government plans to send in the troops to Britain’s troubled classrooms. Can they help restore discipline, leadership and respect? Hmmm.

9.00 Outcasts Science-fiction drama series. A whiteout of unprecedented strength threatens to destroy Forthaven.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz.

11.05 Late Kick Off Mark Chapman presents the football magazine show.

11.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham Norton presents his show.

12.20am The Apprentice USA (x2) 1.50 Weatherview 1.55 Sign Zone: Ancient Worlds 2.55 Climbing Great Buildings 3.25 Rip Off Britain 3.55 Save My Holiday 4.40 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show.

6.30 One Man And His Campervan Martin Dorey, campervan lover and foodie, journeys around Britain.

7.00 Geert Wilders: Europe’s Most Dangerous Man? A profile of controversial Dutch politician Geert Wilders. Kknown for virulent antiIslamic views which led to his being denied entry into Britain until he successfully appealed against the ban. The film follows him on the campaign trail during the 2010 Dutch general election.

8.00 University Challenge Christ’s College, Cambridge, and Magdalen College, Oxford, play each other for chance to stay in the competition.

8.30 Baking Made Easy Lorraine Pascale takes us through recipes to relax over, including pumpkin and rosemary muffins.

9.00 Horizon: How To Mend A Broken Heart Dr Kevin Fong finds out how close scientists are to being able to mend your heart if it stops.

10.00 Episodes See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines.

11.20 Mad Men Drama series set in the world of advertising in 1960s New York 12.05am Island Parish 12.35 BBC News 3.15 The Super League Show 4.00 La Mia Mappa Misteriosa 5.25 Italy Inside Out 1-5

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sparks fly when Andy and Henshall front up to each other.

7.30 Coronation Street Kevin is left reeling as Jeff woos Sally. Tina’s friend Xin gatecrashes her Valentine’s meal with Graeme. That’s a bit off.

8.00 The Lakes Observational documentary series with Rory McGrath. Rory catches up with micropig breeder Rob Rose as he tries to bring a grumpy pig back into the fold with the help of his longsuffering partner Helen.

8.30 Coronation Street Tracy revels in the trouble she has caused as Peter lays into Nick. Leanne pleads for Peter’s forgiveness.

9.00 The Biggest Loser Weight loss competition hosted by Davina McCall.

It is week six and just six contestants remain. With the final only two episodes away, the hopefuls are keen to make a good start to the week.

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Total Emergency Series following the emergency services in Sheffield.

11.35 That Sunday Night Show Not Sunday night but another chnace to see the show that was out then.

12.05am Grimefighters 12.30 The Zone 2.35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Carmel rushes in frantically when baby Angel takes a turn for the worse.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Dispatches Documentary going undercover to investigate allegations that teachers regularly assault young children in some of the 2,000 Muslim schools in Britain run by Islamic organisations.

9.00 One Born Every Minute Fly-on-the-wall documentary series filmed in a busy maternity ward in Southampton. Three unconventional couples arrive to deliver their babies.

One dad does all he can to support his wife through her carefully planned hypno-birth. Another dad doesn’t even know labour has begun for his first born, as he’s locked behind bars and a couple defy those who tell them they’re too young to be starting a family.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show with guests JLS who chat and perform their song, Eyes Wide Shut.

11.10 The Joy Of Teen Sex Series exploring the sex lives of today’s teenagers.

12.10am Taio Cruz: Life Of A Rock Star 12.45 PartyPoker.com Premier League 1.40 Mosley 2.40 Dispatches 3.40 The Last Dragon 5.30 Wogan’s Perfect Recall

6.00 Home And Away Morag and Charlie attempt to track down Will but, still convinced of his innocence, Irene declines to assist them.

6.25 OK! TV 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn explores how the world’s biggest sharks are looked after at the world’s largest aquarium, how luxury armoured cars are made and how the world’s toughest glass is made.

8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. Ortis and Pollyanna visit South Africa for a photography challenge, Jon teams up with dance troupe Flawless to test mp3 players and Jason and Suzi build indestructible phone cases. Bang!

9.00 Royal Navy: Caribbean Patrol This exciting documentary series follows Royal Navy warship HMS Manchester on her final deployment – a seven-month tour of duty hunting drug smugglers in the Caribbean.

10.00 Steven Seagal V Justin Lee Collins See highlights.

11.00 FILM: Half Past Dead (2002) Starring Steven Seagal, Ja Rule, Morris Chestnut. Action thriller in which a tough cop goes undercover in a newly-opened Alcatraz prison where he tries to infiltrate the inner sanctum of a gang.

12.50am SuperCasino 4.05 The FBI Files 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 11.00 Spanish Football 12.30pm Ford Football Special 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 Spanish Football 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Netbusters 6.00 The Sky Sports Years 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 10.30 The Sky Sports Years 11.30 Netbusters 12.00am SPL Round-Up 12.30 Ford Football Special 1.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 PGA Tour Golf 2.00pm European Tour Golf 4.00 TBA 6.00 Cricket World Cup 7.00 IRB Sevens 9.00 Cricket World Cup 10.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 11.00 Extreme Carp 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am Cricket World Cup 2.30 European Tour Golf 3.30 PGA Tour Golf 4.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf

Sky Sports 3 8.00am Elite League Ice Hockey 9.00 History Of The Cricket World Cup 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics 12.00pm To Be Announced 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 History Of The Cricket World Cup 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 8.00 Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 9.00 Kings Of The Snow 9.30 Extreme Carp 10.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 5.15 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Lie To Me 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Emergency Animal Rescue 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Dream Lives For Sale 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 11.00 Inside: Surviving Prison 12.00am Mental 1.00 Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Hotter Than My Daughter 8.30 The Lock Up 9.00 The World’s Worst Place To Be Gay 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Being Human 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am The World’s Worst Place To Be Gay 1.15 The Lock Up 1.45 Young, Jobless And Living At Home

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Love Songs At The BBC: A Valentine’s Day Special 8.30 The Beauty Of Books 9.00 For Crying Out Loud 10.00 FILM: Born Romantic (2000) 11.35 Love Songs At The BBC: A Valentine’s Day Special 12.35am For Crying Out Loud 1.35 In Their Own Words: British Novelists

3.40pm Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Cube 8.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.45 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 11.15 FILM: Basic Instinct (1992) 1.45am Coronation Street (x2)

12.50pm Heartbeat 2.00 Born And Bred 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.05 Terry And June 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Rebus 10.00 Wexford: Harm Done 12.15am Numb3rs 1.05 Why Didn’t They Ask Evans?

11.10am Smallville: Superman The Early Years 12.05pm Everwood 1.00 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.30 Gilmore Girls 3.25 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Glee. See highlights.

10.00 Tool Academy 11.05 Skins 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.10 David Blaine

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Ruth Watson’s Hotel Rescue 11.05 The Year Britain Froze 12.10am Relocation, Relocation

11.00am Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 1.05pm The Left Hand Of God (1955) 2.50 The Bravados (1958) 4.45 4Films For....

4.50 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) 6.40 Paul Special 6.45 Autumn In New York (2000) 9.00 Die Hard 4.0 (2007) 11.30 Unmade Beds 1.20am Frailty (2001)

Brighton Lights

If you want to join us to make a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest MusicBar. 5.30pm Tuesdays

www.thelatest.tv

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