Latest Seven 503: 30 Nov - 6 Dec

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

H jobs H news H food H listings H tv guide H

Brighton Lights This week: Harry Potter star Mark Williams shares his love of steam trains and his delight at Mike Holland's new Engineerium, Vicky Nangle is AMAZEd by charity chuckle star comics, plus fab bands and exclusive footage of The Treason Show and thousands of students demonstrating in Brighton. Val Aviv presents Brighton Lights at thelatest.tv

thelatest.tv

29 Nov – 6 Dec 2010

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Animal magic Peter And The Wolf on the big screen with a live orchestra this Christmas at Brighton Dome page 15 ROSS NOBLE on public transport, improvisation and an intimidating walrus TRAFALGAR TREAT A look inside new shop Bluebelle & Co LITTLE STARS Unique Christmas gifts for the kids with Orb360 & more

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003_LS503 contents _Contents 26/11/2010 17:27 Page 1

2010

CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

NEWS & COMMENT 04 Latest people Brighton Music Awards, Jeremy Hoye, CineCity and Made10 06 News; Jobs & Latest Inbox Stars On Canvas, Paul Merson, shop openings, plus Councillor Mary Mears, jobs & readers’ letters 10 City Speak Ruby tries out her local gym, Tash cuts down on the gift buying, and Will sums up his year 11 Success & The City New North Laine store Bluebelle & Co in profile 13 Gifts For Kids Toys, clothes, vouchers, and adventures with Orb360 15 Cover Feature: Brighton Dome A modern day interpretation of Peter And The Wolf 16 Snap Shots Neil Sykes, owner of Madeira Drive’s MOD Gallery 16 Competitions Jools Holland and Alison Moyet, Hawkwind and Ultimate Boogie Night Christmas Party tickets 17 Celebcity Big Brother’s Josie, Paul Weller, and a city reality show 18 Bare Cheek What’s not on, choice cuts and the logical joke corner

30 NOV – 06 DEC

>online

>on tv

thelatest.co.uk

thelatest.tv

December is a notoriously busy month on the calendar. Our reviews team have been taking in all the shows across Sussex to bring you the verdict of shows the very next day. Log on at breakfast to see what we thought of recent events including music from Paul Weller, theatre with Macbeth and comedy from Brendon Burns. Disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? Let us know your thoughts by submitting your comments via the website. Here you can also read the latest news, features, celebrity interviews and keep up to date with what our columnists are up to. Plus, you can plan all your December days and nights out with our comprehensive listings. Are we missing something? Let us know via www.thelatest.co.uk/7

L7 INTERVIEW 19 Comedian Ross Noble on bush fires, seaside nanas, walrus shooting and what makes him laugh

LIFESTYLE 19 The Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s dominating the Top 10 this week?

21 Wild Fruit Oceana’s Wild Fruit Red Party 2010 22 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink; Hotlist Andrew tucks into a Sunday lunch at Pelham House 25 Health & Beauty Winter wellbeing: weather safety and shopping advice

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Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Administration Claire Peerless

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Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Sales Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker

Brighton is obviously one of the coolest places on earth – Doncaster anyone? So is it any wonder we have one of the most flourishing rap scenes in Europe. Paul Alborough aka Professor Elemental has always been one of its key figures and he is now getting the attention he deserves. His current video for ‘Fighting Trousers’ has had more hits on YouTube in the last few weeks than Cheryl Cole, and in his boxing shorts he is prettier! Like Mohammed Ali, I mean! The Professor, the leader of the steam punk movement has given an exclusive interview to Carl Anderson in Kemp Town’s Metrodeco about his new work and the phenomenal success of his last single about tea – ‘Cup Of Brown Joy’. Talking of steam exclusives, Harry Potter and Fast Show star Mark Williams shares his love of steam trains and his delight at Mike Holland's new Engineerium. Vicky Nangle is AMAZEd by charity chuckle star comics.

Plus fab bands and exclusive footage of The Treason Show and thousands of students demonstrating in Brighton. There’s a link there somewhere. Val Aviv presents Brighton Lights. If you want to be part of thelatest.tv come to our open meetings at Latest Musicbar, 5.30pm every Tuesday.

Theatre, music or comedy?

L7

WHAT’S ON 26 Latest Previews Theatre Royal’s spring season, comedy round-up, music 30 Sport; TV Highlights & Listings A blip in the system at BHAFC?; super sleuths make great winter TV; your seven-day TV listings

BRIGHTON LIGHTS

Find out what’s going on in Brighton while you’re on the move with comprehensive listings straight to your mobile phone

The 2010 Christmas Artists Open Houses brochure is out now.

Pick up your copy from outlets across the city including Brighton Dome Box Office, Brighton and Hove Museums and the Jubilee Library.

m.thelatest.co.uk Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Rachel Junior Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Music Listings Nick Aldwinckle

Design Anand Day Steve Sawyer Andrew Wright Editorial Assistant Laura Hayward

Illustrators Dan Evans Lili Bé Paul Lewis Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

004_005_LS500_Latest People_Social Diary 25/11/2010 17:39 Page 2

04

LATEST PEOPLE

latest PEOPLE

Around town with: CineCity, Brighton Music Awards, Jeremy Hoye and Made10

Thank you for the music The inauguration event of “The Brights” – the Brighton Music Awards, celebrating the diversity and creativity of Brighton rock music – got off to an uproariously successful start at the Brighton Centre on Thursday 16 November.

The event saw iconic names in rock music including Roger Daltrey, War of the Worlds’ music composer Jeff Wayne and ‘God of Hellfire’ Arthur Brown, presenting the awards to up-and-coming young Brighton musicians. Music legend Jimmy Page received the first Brighton Music Hall of Fame Award. Amongst the winners were Paul Diello, Rubylux and Gloria Cycles, representing what founders David Courtney and Paul Mex called the most vibrant music scene in the country. The evening kicked off with a performance by local band Superlungs and concluded with award winner for best live act, Z-Star. Other celebrities presenting awards were Thunderbirds co-creator Sylvia Anderson and EastEnders' actress Carol Harrison. All the proceeds went to the Teenage Cancer Trust. [Read the complete list of winners in Latest News.]

Photos: Diana Frangi

Diggy Nelson, Ed McAvoy (Brand Ambassador for Jameson Whiskey)

Z-Star (Best Live Act award)

Joss Albert and Anna Bertmark (Attic Sound & Music), Sue Gray (University of Brighton), Frank Gray ( Director of CineCity)

Donna Close (BHCC arts manager), Jamie Wyld (Lighthouse – head of Media Arts)

Big screen adventures Roger Daltrey, Jimmy Page, Paul Mex (BMA co-founder)

Allan and Samantha James (The But Music Group), Arthur Brown, Lisa and Gary Hutchins (Hutchins Guitars)

Paul Diello (Best Solo Artist award)

The Duke Of York’s Picturehouse hosted the opening night of the Cinecity Brighton Film Festival 2010 with a showing of The King’s Speech starring Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter. A reception was held after the screening with complimentary cocktails created by Jameson Whiskey.

CineCity presents the annual Brighton Film Festival, the South Coast’s major celebration of cinema. They also deliver a year-round programme of screenings, including artists’ moving image work, exhibitions and special events in and around the city.

Cine City, formed in 2003, is a partnership with the Duke of York’s Picturehouse, Screen Archive South East and the University of Brighton.

Further details can be found at www.cine-city.co.uk Photos: Patrick Kneath www.uoldbag.com

www.kealwork.co.uk

Jon Totton (organiser), Kate Jenkins (Cardigan)

Making it Made10, now in its fifth year, returned to the beautiful Corn Exchange from 19–21 November, showcasing over 100 contemporary and highly original makers and designers across all media. With jewellery, furniture, ceramics, textiles, clothing and the odd quirky pieces thrown in – the fair offered beautiful handcrafted objects to suit everyone’s taste and budget. Each year, Brighton and Hove Museums and Made10 sponsor a purchase award to buy contemporary craft work to be housed in the museum's specialist craft and design collection. This year the award was split between choreographer and jeweller, Sarah Warsop, for a piece of jewellery which represents in solid form a series of choreographed dance movements, and Kate Jenkins of Cardigan for a crocheted picture of Battered Cod and Chips.

Photos: Patrick Kneath

Sarah Warsop

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LATEST PEOPLE 05

Terry Malloy, Martin Storr

Creative kings Popular Brighton jewellery designer Jeremy Hoye has collaborated with Dave Pop, Captain Creative at Choccywoccydoodah. With Jeremy’s flare for unique contemporary jewellery, and Dave’s mischievous saucy postcard prints, the pair have produced a truly pop-tastic collection. The designers welcomed guests to take a cheeky glimpse at the beautifully made rings, pendants and cufflinks, enjoy some festive drinks and get a cracking start on Christmas shopping with the help of a juicy 15% discount on all collections. Jeremy Hoye’s shop can be found at 22a Ship Street, Brighton.

Photos: Patrick Kneath Jeremy and Mary Hoye

Jeremy Hoye, Dave Pop

Dave Pop (Designer of ‘As Camp As Christmas’), Jeremy Diaper

Sarah-Jane Lennard, Sophie Imrie (both Brighton Pier)

Andrew Kay (Latest Magazines), Dave Pop

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06 LATEST NEWS

L7 News

7

days of headlines with Phil Mills

McMillan brought to justice, school squatters, animal cruelty, and Paul Merson in Hove

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ike a spaghetti movie, we've had the good, the bad and the ugly. The Bad: the sad story of Andrea Waddell, found dead in her fire-gutted flat in Upper Lewes Road, Brighton, took a new twist when it was discovered that her killer Neil McMillan committed rape just a few weeks before the murder.

McMillan, 43, of Bennett Road, Brighton, was found guilty of rape at the Old Bailey and given a minimum four and a half years, alongside the 22 years he was given for murder.

The Ugly: squatters took over part of Downs Junior School and there is political conflict ahead after plans were unveiled for a permanent travellers’ camp in the city.

And a man who locked two dogs in the boot of his car, causing unnecessary suffering, was fined £550 by magistrates and ordered to pay £1000 to the RSPCA who helped save the animals. He was also deprived of the pets for life and banned from keeping any animal for five years. Harsh enough? Email comment@latest.co.uk And finally, The Good: as the employment front looks ever more gloomy, there’s some good news with footwear chain Croc announcing it is opening a new store in Churchill Square. And there’s some 800 jobs being created when Saga open new offices in Hastings – which is just about

commuting distance from Brighton.

Not so good was the City Council being criticised by The Sunday Times which reported: “As part of a £3.5 million austerity drive, Brighton and Hove Council has had to cut back its youth service. But it can still apparently afford a political assistant to the Labour group (up to 35,430) whose job will include ‘liaising with stakeholders to communicate the group’s political message with the outside world. Brighton and Hove has 13 Labour councillors. Can one of them not be spared to spread the glorious news of Labour policy in Brighton and Hove to an expectant public? After all, that’s what councillors used to do.”

Comments welcome via comment@thelatest.co.uk In other news, Rockinghorse supporters, Steven Sparks, 41, and

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on utilising city space

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mpty and disused buildings can be a real blight on local communities and are a wasted resource at a time when space for development in the city is at a premium. Anyone who has lived in Brighton and Hove for any length of time will be aware of the horrible empty derelict office building – Anston House – on Preston Road. Being on the main route into the city for visitors, it is not hard to miss!

Therefore, it is great that we finally have some really promising news about its possible redevelopment. Investec, who took over the site

Carolyn Payne,30, held their wedding reception at the charity’s annual fundraising ball at the Hilton Brighton Metropole Hotel on 20 November The ball raised £72,000 and the charity has now been helping sick children for more than 40 years.

Former Arsenal and England star Paul Merson entertained a sell-out crowd at the Sussex County Cricket Ground in Hove before an auction raised money for charity. Merson was joined by Master of Ceremonies and former Sussex batsman Tony Cottey, and ex-Albion star Kerry Mayo.

Opponents of all-night drinking were celebrating when Brighton and Hove’s Licensing Panel turned down requests from Queens Park Wines in Queens Park Road, Brighton and Wine Me Up in Preston Road, Brighton, to extend their opening hours until 3am.

The panel, chaired by councillor Lynda Hyde, instead granted a short extension of hours until 11.30pm (from 11pm weekdays and 10.30pm Sundays) and imposed conditions. Councillor Hyde said: “Both these outlets are in residential areas and the panel felt that a closing time of 3am was inappropriate."

Word has reached Latest 7 of the Christmas show Maskerade (8 to 11 December) by the Wick Theatre Company that's billed as a must-see, if for no other reason than to watch Worthing town councillor James Doyle in a major role.

The Barn Theatre in Southwick turns into an opera house complete with fairy godmothers, phantoms and witches – sounds like the Good, the Bad and the Ugly all rolled into one.

Is a five year ban from owning animals too much or too little?

comment@thelatest.co.uk follow me on twitter

when the previous owners went into receivership, has appointed a new team to deliver a renewed vision and plan of action for the site. The team includes a number of specialist consultants, including local company Blakesley Estates and awardwinning regeneration company Urban Splash We have been working very hard in recent months to try and persuade the owners to bring it forward for redevelopment. All parties recognise that this is a prime site in the city, and I am cautiously optimistic that in the new year we will get some exciting new plans coming forward.

From empty offices to empty housing – by coincidence, last week was National Week of Action on Empty Homes. Given the shortage of good quality family housing in the city it is vital that we make

latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Every year, Leaders estate agents branches across Sussex, Surrey, Hampshire, Dorset, Berkshire, Hertfordshire and Buckinghamshire compete with one another to create the best Christmas window display.

We invite you to vote for your favourite – just pop along to your local Leaders branches between 1st and 10th December to check out their displays and vote for who you think should win. If your vote is for the winning branch, your name will be entered into a prize draw to win a luxury Christmas Hamper from John Lewis. You can either vote in the branch or by sending an email specifying which branch you think looks the best to events@leaders.co.uk You will find your local Leaders branches at:Leaders Fiveways: 290 Ditchling Road, Brighton; Leaders Hove: 98 Church Road, Hove; Leaders North Laine: 28 New Road, Brighton; Leaders Western Road: 118-120 Western Road, Brighton.

Michelle Collett, Leaders via email [Re: Building Opinions, issue 499] Hi Robert, The book [Ambles Along The Promenade by Richard Sayer] is splendid: many thanks to you for organising the competition and to your friend for opening my eyes to the Promenade in a different manner – I will now view it through an artistic photgrapher's lens. He, like you widens our horizons and helps us to learn more about our city.

Thanks to you both. Best wishes, Bryan Moody via email You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

latest7news

every effort to get those that are lying empty back into circulation. And the effort seems to be paying off: since April we have brought 72 long term empty private homes back into use.

And talking about making Pic: Shella Parkin, Laine Ltd good use of space, last week saw the opening of the new temporary ice rink in the grounds of the Royal Pavilion. Since the old rink in Queen’s Square closed in 2003, there have been no permanent skating facilities in the whole of Sussex and so this new rink – albeit only a temporary one – is hugely welcome. It makes for a picture-postcard winter scene against the backdrop of the Pavilion and although I wasn’t brave enough to get my skates on, I hope as many residents as possible will give it a go and show that there is demand for a permanent new facility in the city.

007_LS503_Ads_Layout 1 26/11/2010 17:08 Page 1

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008_009_LS503_newscity college_editorial 26/11/2010 14:16 Page 2

08 LATEST NEWS

L7 NEWS in brief >As one door opens...

A new shop selling beads and vintage-style jewellery has opened at the bottom of Dyke Road near Churchill Square.

The Big Bead Boutique sells a variety of beads including acrylic, fabric-covered and real gemstones, as well as readystrung pearls, buttons, velvet ribbons, feathers and lace.

Bespoke jewellery can also be made to order. The shop is also available for children’s parties where kids can spend an hour making their own jewellery. Each child leaves with their own bracelet and a goody bag.

Pic: Jenni Davidson

Alesha Dixon

Stephen Hillenburg

Jude Law

Dan Baldwin

Star drawings >Another door closes

The Taj store at the foot of St. James’s Street closed its doors on Friday 26 November. While this is a great loss for Kemp Town, the popular grocers is still operating in Brighton. Taj has consolidated its business at the Western Road site and will be expanding into the adjacent unit they have already acquired. This will enable them to offer a wider range of produce and added value to their loyal customer base. Amir Khan, owner of the Taj group commented: “I would like to thank the whole of Kemp Town for their loyal support over the last three years.”

Chris Cooke, Chair of the St. James's Local Action team commented: “Taj will be sorely missed on St. James’s Street. On their prominent corner they were an exciting, colourful and very much a quality retailer that enticed customers to the area. l hope their remaining two stores continue to go from strength to strength.”

Jonathon Ross

Jamie McCartney

L7 NEWS

Celebrities and artists auction their art in a huge fundraising exhibition for national charity, Willow Foundation

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nique artwork created by top artists and celebrities is available to the public in aid of national charity, Willow Foundation.

The work has been up for auction online since the Stars On Canvas launch last Friday (26 November).

Work will be on show for the public to view in person at the Stars On Canvas exhibition (2–5 December) at London’s Catto Gallery.

Canvases featured in the exhibition have been created by stars of TV and film, sports personalities and musicians, as well as respected artists, illustrators and cartoonists. All canvases will be on display at the gallery and auctioned online at www.willowfoundation.org.uk /starsoncanvas Willow Foundation is a national charity set up by Arsenal legend Bob

Wilson and his wife Megs in memory of their daughter. They provide morale-boosting and memorable special days for seriously ill 16 to 40 year olds.

The charity is working with Brighton artist Julie-Anne Gilburt (JAG gallery) on the collection.

Pulling it together as a cohesive exhibition, Julie-Anne has enhanced some of the celebrity doodles, which feature alongside original artwork by both celebrities and artists.

The first Stars On Canvas was held in aid of the Willow Foundation in 2008 when the canvases raised £41,000 for the charity. They hope to exceed that amount this year.

“More than two hundred celebrities and artists have taken the time to create their own piece of unique artwork,” said Bob Wilson, charity co-founder. “By doing a quick

doodle or a more artistic creation, they have all done their bit to help young adults living with serious illness. Buying just one of the many canvases will not only be a fantastic purchase of one-off art or the perfect Christmas gift, but will also mean a great deal to the people who will benefit from a special day during a really tough time of their life.”

To date, Willow Foundation has provided almost 7,000 special days nationwide to people living with conditions including cancer, cystic fibrosis, motor neurone disease, muscular dystrophy, organ failure and Huntington’s.

Latest TV will be attending the starstudded exhibition at the Catto Gallery in London this week. Watch online (www.thelatest.tv) for coverage of Stars On Canvas in the coming weeks. www.willowfoundation.org.uk

Hit advert keeps Sussex strapped in A Sussex video ad has won international acclaim after being voted the best YouTube advert of the past 18 months.

‘Embrace Life’, a seatbelt campaign advert, was launched in January 2010, and created by writer/director Daniel Cox and Producer Sarah Alexander for the Sussex Safer Roads Partnership. It also recently won the Prince Michael International Road Safety Award.

Producer Sarah Alexander says: “Technology is changing the way we get messages to people and

YouTube is at the forefront. We tried to create something compelling and positive that people would want to watch, talk about and spread, and this is exactly what has happened. To potentially save even one life feels amazing, to

have reached millions is indescribable. The internet has been, from the start, the video’s home, so to have it acknowledged by this award is fantastic. What we hope now is that the public will take the important message behind the advert to heart, and that we’ll see a reduction in needless injuries on our roads through non-use of a seatbelt.”

‘Embrace Life’ can be watched on YouTube and full information about the campaign can be found at www.SussexSaferRoads.gov.uk

008_009_LS503_newscity college_editorial 26/11/2010 11:41 Page 3

LATEST NEWS 09 Andrea Fox (Juice radio) with Arthur Brown, presenting the award to best live act: Z-Star

L7 NEWS in brief

Photo: Diana Frangi

>Search for property stars

BMA winners

The first Brighton Music Awards (BMAs – also nicknamed The Brights) took place at the Brighton Centre on 16 November, celebrating ermerging musicians and artists, as well as recognising some all-time great musicians. The event raised funds for the Teenage Cancer Trust and was formed by Paul Mex and David Courtney. Winners on the night were: •Band Of The Year: Rubylux •Best Solo Artist: Paul Diello •Best Song: Transatlantic Tendencies – ‘You Cry Wolf’ •Best Club Night Of The Year: Bust The Box •Best Music MySpace/Website: Concorde2 •Best Music Artwork: Amongst The Pigeons •Best Music Video: Gloria Cycles – ‘Chancer’ •Best Brighton Live Act: Z-Star •Juice Listeners Award: I Am Your Hero •Brighton Music Hall Of Fame Award: Jimmy Page

Lifesavers awarded The public and East Sussex NHS Trust staff recognised in annual awards ceremony

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t’s the season of spreading goodwill, so it’s fitting to recognise and award the work of the public and NHS staff, who go above and beyond to help others in need.

Dave Hopkins, a South East Coast Ambulance Service NHS Trust technician based at Eastbourne Ambulance Station, was involved in persuading three people not to take their own lives off Beachy Head. Dave was presented with the employee of the year award at the Trust’s recent annual awards ceremony for the east of the Trust’s region.

Within the space of four months Dave was called to Beachy Head and was involved in helping three very vulnerable people. One was a young man who had a career in the armed forces, another a mother and the third a mental health patient from outside the area.

Dave said: “I’m very honoured to have received this award but I feel that I can’t take all the credit.

Other organisations such as the chaplaincy service and police are equally involved in helping and winning the trust of these people who are clearly in a very vulnerable and distressed state.

“We spent considerable time with each of these people winning their

trust and finally persuading them to reconsider. I hope that we made a difference and they overcome their issues.”

Dave was nominated by his station manager, Tim Fellows, who said: “With two of these cases, David took a leading role, gaining the confidence of the patient. In the third, he supported two highly-trained police negotiators, always adopting an extremely patient, professional and caring approach.”

The award ceremony recognised the dedication of staff in the NHS. Queen’s Medals for long service and good conduct were presented by the Deputy Lord Lieutenant of Kent, Lord

Paul Condon, to staff that have completed 20 years service in a front-line capacity.

Also to be recognised were sisters Niamh and Darcy Bradbury from Robertsbridge who received public chief executive commendations for putting in an emergency call after their mum Joanne fell ill.

Chief SECAmb Chief Executive Paul Sutton said: “Our awards provide us with a valuable opportunity to recognise the tremendous achievements of our staff during the year. I am also delighted that our awards provide us with an opportunity to recognise members of the public who have gone out of their way to support our staff and provide valuable assistance when needed. I know that I speak on behalf of all staff who are tremendously grateful for the help received at the scene of a difficult incident.”

RICS (the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors) launch a six month quest to find contenders for the 2011 RICS South East Awards. The region’s property ‘Oscars’, showcase the South East’s top projects and property professionals in the four categories: Building Conservation, Community Benefit, Regeneration and Sustainability, and Project of the Year award. James Offen, Chairman of the RICS South East board, said: “The awards not only raise the profile of East Sussex and encourage more investment in to the area, but they also help those behind the projects to increase or grow their business.” The winners of the RICS South East Awards 2011 will be announced in May 2011.

The four category winners then go head-to-head with other UK and international winners at the 2011 Grand Final in London. Entry forms – which must be returned before the end of January 2011 – are available now from ricsawards2011@spada.co.uk

>H&M take over

We had H&M and H&M Kids, then a third H&M store opened its doors on Brighton’s Western Road.

Now the fashionable Powers That Be have graced us with Cos – the upmarket sister store of H&M offering men and women high quality fashion that’s affordable.

Cos has moved into the old Laura Ashley store on the corner of East Street. The store officially opened at the end of last week.

>Ice stars

Ten of Brighton’s famous Ice Hockey team, disbanded in 1961 met up on the ice for the first time in 40 years last week. They were joined at the Royal Pavilion Ice Rink by 13 of the original Ice Show Stars from the ‘SS Brighton’ – the Sports Stadium in West Street – who staged hugely popular ‘ice spectaculars’ from 1936. Mike O’Brien, 77, Tiger Captain, who recently made it into the British Hall of Fame for Ice Hockey said: “Having a beautiful rink like this on our doorstep has brought back a lot of memories.” The Tigers, who called the Brighton Sports Stadium their home for 30 years, were one of Britain’s and Europe's leading ice hockey teams.

>New Steine spruce up

A team of six CityPark workers spent a morning tidying up the hedges at New Steine Gardens.

Chris Cooke, Chair of the St. James’s Local Action team organised the tidy up to ensure the area looked presentable ahead of the events scheduled for World Aids Day on 1 December.

Contributors: Jenni Davidson, Oliver McAteer, Leah Nedahl, Sarah Stovell

010_LS503_cityspeak_Editorial 26/11/2010 12:19 Page 2

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CITY SPEAK

Teen Spirit

Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw is no gym bunny

Tasha Dhanraj and the reality of gift buying

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ou would think that as a present and we could choose what physiotherapist in my previous we wanted from the list they were life, before retirement, that providing. The selection covered now, with all this free time, I would treatments from massage and be trundling away in the nearest reflexology to a week in a gym. gym, exasperating everyone by After much deliberation – I love showing them how the apparatus reflexology – I chose a session of worked and annoying the instructors Reiki because I had heard a lot by explaining the best way of doing about this treatment but had no the exercises. (I do realise, by the experience of it. way, how lucky I am to actually have But (you guessed it!) I was told a retirement. All you poor things in that all the treatments had been your 30s are going to have to work taken (despite having replied away until you drop in harness.) straightaway) and I was the I keep getting fortunate receiver of offers through the five days free use of post of marvellous the gym at my local reductions for gym or “I would pay sports centre. sports club Never let it be said not to go.

It memberships if I join that I do not give before the end of the is something things a chance. I did month. (Another flyer go on the Monday and popped through this about the smell duly got myself morning telling me I signed in and of sweat and must get fit for assessed, and then I Christmas. Why?) If I was directed towards rubber...” was told I had to join the treadmill to warm a gym – for my up slowly. health or to lose I became slightly weight – I would be dizzy. Perhaps it was prepared to pay not to go. It is because I was trying to watch the something about the whole frenetic TV screen in front of me and have a atmosphere in these places: the conversation at the same time with smell of sweat and rubber, the an ex-patient I had discovered on background noise of whirring the piece of apparatus next to me. wheels and clanking clogs, I said I would have a little rest in interspersed with moans and heavy the sauna, but it was not nearly breathing. It all seems so painful. hot enough and slightly shabby, So unnecessary. and I got bored sitting on my own.

Some time ago I received an So I went home. I never went back. email telling me the Nectar card Give me muddy horses and the people were giving us all a lovely Downs every time.

William Tells Will Harris and the soundtrack to his year

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Image: Dan Evans www.idrawforfood.co.uk

am woken from a restless night on H’s sofa not by birdsong or morning sunshine, but by the unmistakeable sound of a brass band playing the Monty Python theme tune. Da-dum da-diddle-dedum da-dum, da-dum da-dum da-dum...

H is sitting on the chaise opposite me, wearing crumpled pyjamas and a look of weary resignation. She holds out a mug of tea. “Just another day in Paradise?” I say. “You joke, but this is a good day. Last weekend we had ‘Ghostbusters’ all through Saturday Kitchen.”

I grunt, and drink my tea. These things have become par for the course when I stay with H, who lives in a town that might have been the setting for The Hills Have Eyes 3, had the locals not eaten the location scouts and mounted their heads over the British Heart Foundation.

In the park outside, a lone bugler, having turned over two pages of his sheet music by mistake, embarks on a brave solo attempt at ‘Viva Las Vegas’.

“This time last year,” I say meditatively, “I had job security and a boyfriend with an arse like two peaches on springs.

ecember is all about the they aren’t going to want anything stress of buying Christmas useful and they’ll just forget they presents. I hate it so much ever got it by next year. Secondly, that for lots of my friends my I don’t like children under 12. I don’t festive gift to them is that I’m not want them to get a false idea about getting them one at all, therefore how I view them and think they they no longer have to feel have a hope of getting amicable obligated to buy a present for me. responses from me for the other One advantage to being in 364 days of the year. This education is that I can avoid my eradicates about 40 per cent of my friends for a week before and cousins. The rest of my cousins can after Christmas due to the get bath bombs from Lush. holidays. However, I come from a Unfortunately, despite my very close-knit family. Somehow, attempts to remove the exposure to my need to buy my family is even friends presents, more highly I appear to have concentrated acquired a “Children under 12 around the different kind festive period, aren’t going to want of friend in time which means I for Christmas anything useful” am supposed to this year. A get everyone male friend. presents.

Suddenly I feel My grandma overcome with was very good at breeding. She the need to spend more money on had eight children. Of those eight him than any other person in my children, six of them have life. It is sickening. I have spent reproduced. Add them to my dad’s stupid amounts of money buying side of the family and I’ve got things for him that bear some twee, about 30 cousins. Now some of awful in-joke, wrapped in my more selfish cousins have sentimentality and adorable vomit. started to reproduce. I simply do He has completely undermined all not have the funds to provide gifts my previous rules about buying for all these people. There’s only Christmas presents and at this one way to get Christmas early stage of our courtship I can’t presents without losing all my be sure if he’s even worth it. savings: pick favourites.

I know it is the season of giving, Automatically, all children under but I better get as good as I give or the age of 12 are eradicated from next year I will spend the whole of the calculations. I have several December bumbling around Churchill reasons for this. Firstly, under 12 Square muttering “bah humbug!”

Now look at me; I’m going through a redundancy process and sofa-surfing in a town once twinned with Deliverance.”

“Oh, well,” says H, breathing on her specs and cleaning them with the flap of her PJs, “tomorrow’s another day, innit.” I stare at her. “It’s 8.30am!” I shout.

“Oh, stop moaning! You’ve had a great year. You got your own flat, had your photo in Gay Times, went to Downing Street. And we met Su Pollard.”

“Su Pollard? I met Neve Campbell this year, and you’re leading with Su Pollard? I met Christopher Biggins in March. Want to drop that in too? Or were you saving him for the split second before I throw myself from the platform?!”

“Oh yeah!” H grins. “A lot happens in a year, doesn’t it? Hey, remember that chav you pulled in the doorway of Domino’s Pizza?”

“That wasn’t less than a year ago, “Outside, a lone was it?” But it was. Twelve months, in bugler embarks on the grand scheme of things, can slide in the blink of an eye. One a brave solo attempt past minute you’re popping the Nurofen on Year’s Day, next thing you know at ‘Viva Las Vegas’” New it’s 365 days later and you’re at some party pretending to know the words to Auld Lang Syne once more. But for all our lives seem to get faster, the faster a year changes everything.

“Where do you think we’ll be this time next year?” I ask. H peers into the depths of her mug. “Together,” she says. “Still together. Other than that, you got me.” I stand up and stretch. “Right, Muttley, I’d better have a shower. Any chance of some breakfast?” I’ve got you, I think, as I leave the room. I’ve always got you. And then I begin to sing: “Da-dum da-diddle-de-dum da-dum”... follow me on twitter

latestwill

011_LS503_Bluebelle & Co_Editorial 26/11/2010 11:29 Page 1

SUCCESS & THE CITY

11

Trafalgar treat Si Beales takes a regular look at some of Brighton & Hove’s most successful businesses.

This week: Bluebelle & Co, a treasure trove in the North Laine

T

here’s a feeling of familiarity about Bluebelle & Co on Trafalgar Street – a sense of place and belonging. So it comes as a surprise that it’s only been open a few months. To me, that’s the sign of a well thought out store with an owner who clearly knows their market. That proves to be the case with Kate Powell.

Kate has been successfully designing clothes and fashion accessories for years.

She’s built up a successful label – Disaster – which sells in stores like Liberty and John Lewis. But Kate always wanted to develop her ideas into retail, hence Bluebelle & Co. The Trafalgar Street shop is a great space.

Formerly an art gallery, it’s light, white and capacious, yet it feels homely and inviting.

Kate wanted to ensure that her customers had plenty of room to enjoy browsing through the assorted clothes, accessories, knick-knacks, sleepwear, homeware and gifts. She wanted to make it pram friendly too, so it has easy access and there is always enough room to manoeuvre a double buggy. The free-standing vintage furniture and display units means the store can constantly evolve and develop. This thoughtful but versatile approach means shopping becomes a pleasure.

There’s a definite vintage influence and indeed some vintage pieces but there’s a sense of quality and a classic approach to design. Everything has been well selected and well edited. As well as Kate’s label, Bluebelle & Co offers lace, linen, ladies sleepwear, children’s toys and gifts from Powellcraft; vintage mirrors, silk cushions, throws and photo frames from Cotton Productions, and porcelain and ceramics from Dutch designers Pip Studio.

The great thing is that although it can look expensive, the products are actually really affordable, making it a perfect place to shop for Christmas presents for friends, family and for yourself. From a £5 photo frame stocking filler to a £20 pair of classic boy’s pyjamas to a £200 retro mirror – it’s all here. And it’s a great place for children to buy those little presents for their grandparents or teacher too.

Kate is on to a real winner with Bluebelle & Co. It’s established itself really quickly and yet it seems like it’s always been here, packed full of glorious goodies. What more could you ask for?

Bluebelle & Co, 80 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4EB, www.bluebelleandco.com

If you would like to be considered for Success and the City please contact Si Beales at si@sibeales.com

012_LS503_Orb360_Layout 1 24/11/2010 15:40 Page 1

013_LS503_Gifts for Kids_Seven Editorial 26/11/2010 10:44 Page 3

GIFT GUIDE

Little angels In the third of our special Christmas gift guides, Latest 7 has ideas for the children in your life

M

ake this Christmas all about the experience for the small people in your life this year. Yes, the Top Ten Toys are always a good fall-back but they are often consigned to the depths of the toy cupboard by January and that’s no fun for a toy (just ask Woody).

Children love traditions, from helping to stir the Christmas pudding to decorating the tree. This year, find beautiful traditional toys and clothing at gorgeous new Trafalgar Street store Bluebelle & Co – as well as classic gifts for the home and yourself.

Experiences are the trademark of those adventurous boys at Orb360, who will not only send your child down a hill in a giant ball, but have now expanded to offer boarding, biking and kiting. Visit their excellent website at www.orb360.com and see their great range of gift and experience ideas.

For your own little star, E3 Academy Performing Arts School gift vouchers will appeal. Their Saturday school classes will have little ‘uns singing and dancing their hearts out.

Orb360 Go extreme this Christmas with mountain boarding, power kiting and mountain biking with Brightons’ Orb360*. Gift vouchers available from just £15 (*Board360, Bike360 and Kite360 are all trading names of Orb360 Ltd) Orb360: 08456 434 360, www.orb360.co.uk

CHRISTMAS

gift guide Mamas & Papas Do you have a newborn in the family to shop for? Look no further than this wonderful keepsake: My First Christmas snow globe, £15 www.mamasandpapas.com Next Kids can stay warm and look the part in this festive moose knit cardigan, £15 www.next.co.uk Matalan Your own little Buzz Lightyear’s will never refuse to wrap up against the cold with this Toy Story hat, scarf and gloves set, £7 www.matalan.co.uk

Bluebelle & Co Bluebelle & Co, the gorgeous new shop on Trafalgar Street is full of Christmas ideas for the little people in your life! Hand appliquéd cord dresses, £24.99, from age one up to the age of eight. There’s matching dungarees and jackets too!

Bluebelle & Co, 80 Trafalgar street, Brighton, BN1 4EB, www.bluebelleandco.co.uk

Debenhams Recreate the arcade vibe at home: space is no issue with this handy mini air hockey game, £25 www.debenhams.co.uk

E3 Be a star this Christmas! E3 Academy gift vouchers available for Brighton and Hove’s premier Saturday performing arts school for the under 18s. Sing, dance act, shine!

E3 Academy: 0845 8382 822

13

Debenhams Adventure is the name of the game with these ace walkie talkies.

Pretend to be Buzz Lightyear in Outer Space or Woody and the gang at Sunnyside Daycare Centre. Let their immaginations run wild... £15, www.debenhams.co.uk

014_LS503_BrightonCentre_000_LH480_Sussex Blinds 24/11/2010 15:39 Page 1

015_LS503_Brighton Dome_Seven Editorial 26/11/2010 11:46 Page 1

BRIGHTON DOME 15

Canine classic goes live Peter And The Wolf Live! is a modern-day interpretation of Prokofiev’s popular blend of classical music and children’s storytelling, featuring HD camera-work, Oscar-winning animation and live orchestral accompaniment

B

ased on one of the most popular pieces of classical music for children, Peter And The Wolf gets the big screen treatment in a thrilling theatrical HD experience for the whole family. This unmissable event at Brighton Dome captures all the fun and excitement of the original story but with Oscar-winning animation on a big-screen along with exceptional live orchestral accompaniment.

In this special UK premiere, this sell-out show has been reworked with ingenious new twists.

The stop-frame animation is produced by Breakthru Films, who have collected over 20 international awards and nominations including two BAFTAs. Five years in the making, their reworking of Peter And The Wolf won the Oscar® for Best Animated Short Film in 2008.

Sergei Prokofiev’s iconic orchestral parable Peter and the Wolf was commissioned by a Moscow children’s theatre and premiered in 1936.

Told by a narrator and featuring a family of animal characters, each represented by a different

instrument of the orchestra, it’s a fantastic introduction to classical music for children.

The timeless story follows Peter, a young orphan, living in a cottage on the edge of a deep forest. Ignored by the local children, Peter’s only friends are his pet duck and a mischievous bird, who entice him to explore. Despite being forbidden from going beyond the cottage’s fence, Peter steals the keys and bursts out into the forest, where his encounter with the wolf provides an adventure that has resonated with over five generations of children.

By setting the scene in a contemporary landscape and including a variety of 21st century twists, the film uses state of the art HD technology to bring Peter And The Wolf to life, while the Orchestra of the Blue Balloon, a narrator, and a magical stage set, retain the heart and musical genius at the wellloved piece’s core.

Peter And The Wolf Live! was premiered in six consecutive sell-out concerts at London’s Royal Festival Hall in December 2009 and was enthusiastically received by critics and the public alike. Classic FM Magazine described this production as “visually stunning and a small masterpiece.”

Now, this Christmas, Peter and his friends are headed to the beautiful Concert Hall to tell their story. Don’t miss your chance to see a classic tale brought to life in this sparkling festive production at Brighton Dome this festive season.

Tuesday 21 December, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 3pm & 5pm, £12.50, £15, £17.50. (under 16s half price), 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org

016_LS503_snapshots comps_Editorial 26/11/2010 12:43 Page 2

16 SNAP SHOTS

Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Neil Sykes of MOD Gallery

“

Fashion goes hand in hand with being a Mod, whether that’s wearing up-to-date designs or sticking to the classic Mod ranges such as Fred Perry, parkas, and button-down shirts. Mod music is all about the lyrics; The Who’s music from that period will live forever. I write songs and poetry with Mod/Brighton themes, which in my mind represent the Modernist movement. I decided to start the MOD gallery when I tried to decorate my flat with Mod art and couldn't find much in the shops. I was lucky to find premises right on Madeira Drive – the location where the original Mod/Rocker battles took place in 1964.

My favourite ride on my scooter is the one to work every morning along the coast road. Its magnificent views are a huge inspiration, and regardless of the weather it makes me feel like ‘Jimmy’, free and very fortunate.

”

Brighton-born Neil Sykes started his own MOD Gallery on Madeira Drive, which celebrates all things Mod from 1964 through to the revivalist Mod era of the late ‘70s. It features stunning portraits of the era’s greats painted by talented local artists, framed posters, exclusive limited edition memorabilia, art-oncanvas, prints, books, postcards and original photos. Neil has organised an evening of live Mod action to take place on Sunday 5 December at the Volks Tavern at 7.30pm, featuring Mod bands including The Universal, The Spitfires and Jimmy Etheridge. Tickets are available from the Modern World Gallery, 283 Madeira Drive, 01273 567168, www.modernworldgallery.com

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

COMPETITIONS

three pairs of tickets to their celebratory tour.

The purveyors of all things psychedelic bridge the gap between hippie and punk, these proggers have been tripping the musical fantastic for over 40 years. Tie-dye T-shirts optional.

Q In which county is Stonehenge?

ULTIMATE BOOGIE NIGHT CHRISTMAS PARTY @ INDIG02

On Friday 17 December a line-up of some of the greatest disco stars will be hitting the stage at indigO2 at London’s O2. Fancy going? Win two pairs of VIP tickets to get down and dirty with Tom Browne, disco queen Evelyn Champagne King and American hip-hoppers The Sugarhill Gang. Enjoy the very best of soulful, funky disco music. Go on you funky bunch, coiffer that ‘fro and shake your thang.

Q Name the Boogie Nights star: Mark... ?

JOOLS HOLLAND AND ALISON MOYET

Jools and his Rhythm & Blues Orchestra are bringing their 2010 tour to the Brighton Centre on Saturday 11 December. Plus special guest Alison Moyet will bring her stunning and vivacious vocal style to join this R’n’B extravaganza. If you want world-class talent then win a pair of tickets to this fab gig.

Q Name Jools’ co-host on The Tube: Paula... ?

HAWKWIND IN WORTHING

See space-rockers Hawkwind at the Worthing Assembly on Thursday 9 December. Having released the hit album Blood Of The Earth, you can win one of

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,

EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk

with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email.

Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Jools Holland and Hawkwind closing date is Monday 6 December. Ultimate Boogie Night closing date is Monday 13 December.

017_LS503_celebcity_Celebcity 26/11/2010 12:02 Page 1

CELEBCITY 17

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Big Brother 11’s Josie, Paul Weller rocks Brighton, TV star Ian Kelsey in town, and a new show for the city?

Following the amazing success of ITV2’s hit show The Only Way Is Essex, the rumour mill is now running as programme makers are looking around for the next big city to film in. Thousands of fans of the show have already joined the Facebook site called “The Only Way Is Brighton”, looking to be the next Kirk, Amy or even Nanny Pat. The website states “The Only Way is Brighton is a brand new idea due to hit you next summer.” It continued: "This is a spin off to The Only Way Is Essex and we are looking for people who are from Brighton and work within the club scene, or party in the Brighton area.”

So there you go – apply now!

Images courtesy of ITV2

Scent of success

FAME CAMPAIGN

THE MODFATHER

Pic: Keith Trigwell

F

ollowing Josie Gibson’s recent visit to Brighton for her first ever P.A, we have been delighted to work with the Big Brother 11 winner on her brand new fragrance.

The lovely Josie has launched her first fragrance, ‘Josie’ by Josie Gibson, and is donating £1 from every bottle sold to leading women’s cancer support charity Look Good... Feel Better. The cancer support charity helps women manage the visible side effects of cancer treatment.

Josie, who won the Channel 4 reality show this summer with nearly 80 per cent of the 1.4 million votes cast, is putting her new found fame to good advantage by making a major donation from her fragrance sales this Christmas. With her huge D! fan base, Josie decided to let the fans name the SPOT-ETmEmerdale bottle and, of course, they chose simply – Josie.

Ex Spotted! alty actor We love it here in the office: it’s a bold fresh and Casu chatting Ian Kelsey d at the fragrance with citrus high notes of mandarin as well to a crow ntre. as raspberry and cassis, mid-tones of rose, freesia, Brighton Ce Linden blossom and magnolia, and low notes of sandalwood, moss, amber, vanilla and musk. Dreamy.

One of my all-time rock ’n’ roll heroes, the one and only Paul Weller, put on a storming gig at the Brighton Centre last week and I was lucky enough to be there to witness the greatness that is The Modfather.

In a set that lasted an hour and a half, we were treated to a selection of Paul’s greatest hits, including highlights from his new album Wake Up The Nation.

The highlight of the night for me though was old school all the way: ‘That’s Entertainment’ – a tune he admitted to having shelved for seven years – in a storming rendition that was worth the price of admission alone.

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

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latestcelebcity

10% service will be added.

Valid Sunday through to Thursday, until end of December 2010, excluding Bank Holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

018_LS503_Bare Cheek_000_LS467_cheeky/stars 26/11/2010 14:23 Page 2

18

ONLY JOKING!

CHOICE CUTS

Bare cheek

So overwhelmed have we been with your responses to our call for suggestions as to how Brighton and Hove Council can make savings, that we've decided to publish another selection of the most efficacious and chilling...

Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

What’s not on SKINNER/PALMER-TOMKINSON A new fact-based drama from the exhilarating Peter Morgan bringing back to vivid life the mildlyembarrassing face-off between teetotal comic Frank skinner and off-her-face socialite Tara PalmerTomkinson. Starring Michael Sheen as Frank Skinner and Gemma Arterton as Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.

Theatre Loyal, 30 November, 8PM, £18/£15

LAMARR/RANKS Based upon an actual event, this thrilling new drama from Peter Morgan portrays the celebrated incident in 1992 when the homophobic Jamaican rapper crossed swords with the mouthy estuary would-be-comic. Starring Michael Sheen as Mark Lamarr and Idris Elba as Shabba Ranks.

Theatre Loyal, 1 December, 8PM, £18/£15

WOGAN/BOWIE Peter Morgan’s exciting new play based upon the real-life incident in 1991 when Tin Machine played the eponymous Irishman’s TV chat show, and a truculent Wogan and facetious Bowie were at loggerheads. Starring Michael Sheen as Terry Wogan and Stephen Mackintosh as David Bowie.

Theatre Loyal, 31 November, 8PM, £18/£15

PARKINSON/EMU An exhilarating new fact-based drama from... guess who? That's right – wait for it... Peter bloody Morgan. This one is a searinglyhonest, warts-and-all depiction of the controversial battle of wits between the gruff, Yorkshire, cricket-loving, seedless former journalist and the inanimate, flightless, Antipodean bird.

Starring Frank Langella as Michael Parkinson and Michael Sheen as Emu. Theatre Loyal. 3 December, 8PM, £18/£15

ANDERSON/BEE-GEES An exhilarating drama new from the pen of fact-obsessed author Peter Morgan, dramatising the notorious, epoch-defining 1997 moment in which the neckless footlights jester insulted the helium-voiced triumvirate, causing them to exit unceremoniously. Starring Michael Sheen as Clive Anderson and Joe, Mark and Stephen McGann as the Bothers Gibb.

Theatre Loyal, 2 December, 8PM, £18/£15

and thus earn their keep. A name for such an establishment might be “job home” or “work house.”

Mr. K.P. Crisp, Patcham

I think they should cut all bus routes apart from the 37B, which goes everywhere anyway.

Admittedly a trip from the Marina to Palmira Square would take 11 days, but it would be a small price to pay.

Ms. B. Smith, Hove

I suggest a tax on fancying Eliza Skelton, which would more than compensate for our present fiscal difficulties.

Mr. B. Ching, Hove

I think an efficiency drive of all local services should be overseen by whoever it is who is responsible for Brighton Pride every year. He (or she – actually it's probably a he, isn't it?) would soon put us back on our feet!

Mr. K.P. Nutt, Patcham

We should let all parks, recreation grounds, museums, libraries, swimming pools, and all public conveniences and any such amenities fall to rack and ruin, like we did in the ’80s.

Benny Ball, Portslade

In line with changes suggested by the government I humbly suggest we solve our unemployment and housing benefit problems in one, by sheltering the jobless in one large building in which they can re-learn basic skills, perform manual labour,

What makes things so expensive is that they've got the Queen on the money, and she's very highmaintenance. I suggest replacing her with somebody a bit less costly, like Lesley Joseph.

Mrs. K.P. Fries, Patcham

LOGICAL JOKE CORNER Q: Why did the tomato blush?

A: It did not. The fruit Solanum lycopersicum is incapable of cutaneous blood flow.

Q: What's yellow and dangerous?

A: Jaundice.

Q: How did Obi Wan Kenobi know what Darth Vader was getting for Christmas?

A: This question in nonsensical on two separate levels: the characters mentioned are fictional, and Christianity is unknown in the fictional universe that they inhabit.

PREPARE TO BUST YOUR SIDES WITH ANOTHER HELPING OF RATIONAL FUNNIES

NB – if you miss any of these, don’t worry ’cos they're bound to turn up on BBC 4 sooner or later...

A: “Doctor doctor, I think I’m a pair of curtains.”

B: “In that case I would like to refer you to Dr. Oliver Sachs, the eminent neurologist, who is an expert on delusional disorders such as this.”

TS

VEN E E T A

DEOS I V G IN TRAIN RTIES

PA

MUSIC VIDEOS

TS R E V

OR CORP

AD OTOGRAPHY PH

INGS D D E W

AND T TS FOR FILM

EFFEC ATMOSPHERIC

V

THE LATEST VIRALS

FOR THE BEST TV, FILM AND VIDEO AT THE MOST AFFORDABLE PRICES LATEST TV 01273 687171 (Angi) or 07834 222342 (Bill) Check out thelatest.tv to see the quality of our work

019_LS503_interview/chart_011_LS466_interview 26/11/2010 12:36 Page 1

NOBLE MIND Victoria Nangle speaks with megastar comic Ross Noble about bush fire, seaside nanas and walrus shooting

L7 INTERVIEW | MUSIC CHART 19 To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 8 Latest 1 Panos Christofi – Only The Night

Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear about your house in Australia [Ross’s family home got destroyed in bush fires last year and he moved back to the UK]. How are you finding living in the UK? It’s good. It doesn’t burst into flames quite so easily, so that’s always an upside, y'know. Always a bit of a bonus.

2 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know 3 The Wolfgirl Liberation – Sonic Chanting 4 The Wolfgirl Liberation – Riding Horses 5 The Last Cry – Rebekka 6 The Wolfgirl Liberation – Peter Blueprints 7 Millsy – Julie Tomlinson

Not quite as warm and temperate though...

That’s true but at the end of the day it always comes back to combustibility, and there’s a lot of things – a standard of living, the food, this that and the other. It’s like anything in life, anything that’s an incredible experience – if it ends with it bursting into flames it takes the edge off it. It’s like a couple of hours in a Jacuzzi with the most beautiful woman in the world, yeah, fair enough. But at the end of it she will burst into flames.

So, y’know, you've got to put things into perspective.

8 Millsy Slug Music – Power 9 Millsy slug Music – New broom 10 Millsy – Poop Song

You've got this reputation for making your show up as you go along. How much of your show is “Brighton’s such an eclectic place, scripted and how much is improvised? it should really be called ‘The Home What I do is I go out on stage and, if I’ve got an idea in my head, I’ll go – oh, I might talk about that. And I’ll go of Eclecticism’” on and nine times out of ten I don’t get round to talking about the thing, I just get sidetracked with other stuff. While I'm on Can you remember your earliest funny memory? stage I’ll be talking about something and an idea Probably my grandad. My grandad was a really will pop into my head and I'll improvise something. funny bloke and he was always sort of saying daft 95 per cent of it you can never repeat just because stuff. He told me this story once about when he it’s so of that moment, it only makes sense within was attacked by this walrus and he shot it. He its context thing. It works in the context of the show was right by a walrus and it approached him and and it would take too long to explain to anyone who he got his rifle over but he didn't have any bullets, hasn't seen the progression of the gig. so he got a load of snow and stuffed it into the barrel of the gun and formed an ice bullet – and Do you prefer to play to a larger or smaller room? he shot the walrus in the head, and it died of It depends on the room really. There are some small water on the brain. [laughs] rooms that are horrible and then there’s some small rooms which are brilliant, and vice versa. I did some Do you make your daughter laugh a lot? arena dates and they were really good fun but it I don't know about ‘a lot’, but she does laugh quite a really all depends on the audience. lot in general.

Do you like Brighton audiences?

Yeah. What’s good about Brighton audiences is that there’s a real mix. Often the actual Brighton audiences vary from night to night. In some places you can get the measure of them but Brighton’s such an eclectic place, it should really be called ‘The Home of Eclecticism’. You’ve got so many diverse people living there, from party kids to proper nanas – seaside nanas – that you get a mixed bag, which is good.

What makes you laugh?

Not necessarily the obvious. I like stuff that is just a little bit odd. I remember when it always used to make me laugh seeing stuff that had ended up on top of bus shelters. That's one of the down sides of never getting public transport – you don't get to see what stuff has ended up on a shelter.

It’s another good week in this chart rundown for electro-influenced pop singer-songwriter Panos Christofi, who retains the Number One spot and also nabs second place with ‘Only The Night’ and ‘I’ll Never Know’ respectively. Meanwhile, the idiosyncratic glitchy dance of The Wolfgirl Liberation has its own two-hitter, with ‘Sonic Chanting’ and ‘Riding Horses’ taking numbers three and four. The former Number One, ‘Rebekka’ by the shoegazeinfluenced indie rockers The Last Cry, completes the top five rundown. After last week’s batch of top 30 songs, it’s also a good week for Millsy Slug Music, with four Top 10 hits.

11 Tenek

No Time For Fighting

12 Surrender

Monkeys John Agar Was Right

13 Scribe-Tribe

Nasty Boy

14 Tenek

If I Should Fall

15 Swarf

Parlour Tricks

16 Chaos Borne

Watching

17 Chaos Borne

I Will

21 Red Sea Sharks

The Circle

22 Hollywood

Assassins Switchblade

23 The Fadadoo Project Lost In A Crowd 24 Clockworks

Fairytales

25 Freudstein

Misadventure

26 lolatwist

Pretty

27 ANEMO

Pray (Ropey Remix)

28 Bigredcap

Does she make you laugh?

Oh God, yeah. All the time, just ridiculous – to the point where I follow her around the house just getting her to do stuff. She made me laugh lots the other day. She’s only two and she's got this little playhouse in the garden. So we’re out there and she’s in this playhouse and it's got this little stable door type thing with little windows in it. My mate says to me; ‘Oh it’s turned cold; is it winter? It’s properly winter now, isn’t it?’, and the window just opened – and she’s only two – and she turned to us as if we were idiots and went ‘NOOOO – autumn!’, as if we were being told off. And we were just on the floor.

18 Osaro And RJ

Ross Noble – Nonsensory Overload, Wednesday 8 and Thursday 9 December, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 8pm, £21/19 www.brightondome.org

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS

Shut Up And Dance

19 Chaos Borne

The Moment

20 Tenek

Submission

So Pleased

29 La Lunalight

Boy Next Door

30 Tenek

State Of Mind SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

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020_LS503_Wildfruit_000_LH480_Sussex Blinds 25/11/2010 10:40 Page 1

021_LS503_Wild Fruit_Seven Editorial 26/11/2010 11:56 Page 1

Red hot night Wild Fruit Red Party 2010

E

veryone’s catching Red Party fever! It happens at this time of year in the city as sewing machines whirr and red sequins fly in a frenzy of preparation for one of the highlights of Brighton’s party calendar.

It’s no secret that the annual Red Party attracts top DJs, scene personalities and celebs, and that’s no surprise given that this massive community focused fundraising event is one of the swishest production parties you could ever wish for. It’s a chance for the city’s club personalities to outdo each other in extravagant red costumes and for anyone and everyone to take part in this unique event that raises essential funds with all profit going to the Rainbow Fund at The Sussex Community Foundation.

Wild Fruit, the clubbing brand behind the event, has raised nearly £130,000 to date for good causes and hopes to make 2010 another successful year of fundraising with the eagerly awaited Red Party.

Once again, this major event is being held at the glamorous Oceana venue (Sunday 5 December) with its sumptuous rooms and luxurious seating and bars all draped in

dramatic red. Special guest superstar DJ Norman Cook (AKA Fatboy Slim) will be joining the huge list of top DJs that include Mark Doyle (Fierce Angel), Paul Heron, Tasty Tim, Lady Bex and Phil Love Disco to name but a few.

There’ll be live vocal entertainment from the legendary Katherine Ellis, Krysten Cummings, Soraya Vivian, Lady V, Johnny Woo and Holestar. The hostess list reads like a star studded who’s who of the club scene including Dolly Rocket, the legend that is Mama Yvette, Chrissy Darling, Billie Lewis, Wezley Sebastian, Joan Bond, Stephanie Starlet and Miss Joyride as well as a bevy of infamously sexy Wild Fruit dancers.

With a multitude of rooms including the main Red Room, Drag Boudoir, Studio 54 room and multiple bars and seating, there is something for absolutely everyone at this glittering social event that epitomises Brighton’s community minded clubbing ethos.

The fun starts as early as 8.30pm with both a special warm up party and a VIP reception in Oceana’s Tahiti and Monte Carlo bars respectively

WILD FRUIT featuring special £1.50 drinks and a special welcome drink on entry, to the main event which starts from 9.30pm and paints the town red until 3am.

Clearly this is the jam-packed party date that you cannot afford to miss!

Wild Fruit Red Party 2010, Oceana, West Street, Brighton, Sunday 5 December, 8.30pm–3am www.aeonevents.co.uk

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022-023_LS503_food _015_LS466_food 26/11/2010 13:27 Page 2

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay finds fine dining at affordable prices in Lewes at Pelham House

Sunday best P

elham House Hotel in the centre of Lewes manages to combine the feel of a rural retreat with a more urban edge. Okay, I know that as towns go, Lewes is as prettily rural as you are likely to get. What I mean is that this is country house living but not in the middle of a field and miles from the nearest civilisation.

Pelham House is a few years old now but looking The same applies to the menu. There is a traditional as good as ever and the restaurant is both pretty roast but also a good range of alternatives. Mr R wasted and pretty exceptional. After a recent trip to no time in bagging the beef bourguignon.

Glyndebourne, Mr L and I popped in for supper and A clever choice too as it was perfection: dark, glossy found the menu inventive, delicious, satisfying and jewelled with tiny onions and mushrooms. On top a and extraordinarily good value. Suffice it to say slice of crisped bread was finished with shards of that we were impressed. pancetta and deep fried sage leaves. I have to So impressed in fact that a few weeks back Mr R admit to being rather envious when it arrived. and I went over for Sunday lunch. We started with a “It was perfection: dark, But not for long. My wing of skate on a stew of soft drink in the bar area and perused the menu chorizo and samphire with scallops was mindbefore going through to a table in the window of the glossy and jewelled with tiny blowingly good. The fish was superb, firm and panelled dining room, a feast of carved wood. fresh, the scallops plump and creamy, and the onions and mushrooms” Mr R started with a terrine of smoked salmon stew rich in perfect balance, not too spicy or which was as pretty as a picture but also heartily hefty but well placed. This was cooking of a very generous. It looked like finely figured marble and tasted superb. high order but I would also emphasise that it’s not dainty like so many I kicked off with monkfish tempura served with a sweet chilli sauce and a fashionable restaurants. salad of chicory and walnuts. Utterly yummy stuff and again prettily I also loved a dish of roasted carrots with rosemary and picked at them presented. The kitchen staff are on the ball at Sunday lunch, a service where way beyond being hungry. Full after two courses, we could have stopped some kitchens might choose to relax standards and take things easy. and been very content. But if a job’s worth doing...

022-023_LS503_food _015_LS466_food 26/11/2010 13:27 Page 3

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK Desserts are nicely traditional.

On my previous visit I had had a frangipane tart with blackberries and was thrilled to see it there again. This time tweaked, a puff pastry case, and served with a berry sorbet, it was no less delicious. In fact, it was better.

Mr R rather predictably went for the sticky parkin with prune compote. He does like his sticky puddings and he loved this one, especially the prunes.

So how much for such delights? Well for three courses the menu is £22.50 a head. Had we stopped at two it would have been £17.50. Of late I have been to gastropubs where the roast has been priced at over £15 and with little of the finesse on offer at Pelham House.

Next time you can’t be bothered to fire up the oven and bang in a roast, consider Pelham House as a fine and affordable option.

Pelham House St. Andrews Lane, Lewes, East Sussex, BN7 1UW restaurant@pelhamhouse.com 01273 488600

Where is your favourite place for Sunday lunch? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

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light bites SKATE & CHIPS

Anyone who pays attention will know that I am a fan of skating so when I saw that Due South had opened a pop up restaurant at the Royal Pavilion Ice Rink I was down there like a shot.

The whole thing looks amazing: stylish, festive and fun. The decor is eclectic, a mix of refurbished dressers and school chairs with a huge range of fabrics donated by interior designers. But for me it was the food that stood out.

Due South has a superb reputation and they have certainly got this right too.

The menu offers a wide selection of delicious dishes at really great prices. There are hearty soups served in hollowed out sourdough rolls, baked potatoes and a menu of good kids dishes. There are pies with mash and peas and there are grills. But we settled for a selection from the land and sea menu: sticky pork ribs, local fish

goujons, honey glazed sausages, salt and pepper squid. They are £5 each, three for £12 or all seven for £28 and they are top notch with great sauces to go with each.

We also sampled the venison curry, really delicious, and the cheese fondue, utterly moreish.

They also have seafood and oysters and a selection of desserts. You can eat in the huge restaurant or in the cafe and the atmosphere is totally relaxed. You could even take advantage of the creche and eat while the kids skate and play. You don’t have to skate either.

Due South at Brighton Pavilion Ice Rink, open daily from10am until midnight follow me on twitter

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NOW TAKING CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS BOOKINGS. PUT AWAY YOUR POTS AND PANS AND TREAT YOURSELF TO A TURKEY MASSAMAN CURRY, OR DEFROST WITH A HOT AND SOUR TOM YUM SOUP! From £28 per person. Menus and booking forms can be found on our website, or just give us a call!

Our daily lunch menu starts at £4.95 and ends at mmmmm!

Gin yur yur! (eat a lot!)

8 Church Road Hove BN3 2FL tel: 01273 327226 www.thegreenmangohove.com

024_LS503_Hotlist_Hotlist 25/11/2010 14:19 Page 2

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HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist Eateries and bars catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk American

The Restaurant At Drakes

Enjoy fabulous American-inspired food – including mammoth home-made burgers (beef, chicken and vegetarian), locally smoked ribs and sizzling steaks – at Rock & Roller. Upstairs you’ll find an entire floor dedicated to pool, with five tables to choose from. Join the Pool Loyalty Scheme – play nine hours and get a tenth hour free.

95 Western Rd, Brighton, BN1 2LB, 01273 710014, www.rock8roller.co.uk

With an air of relaxed glamour, exemplary service and the finest modern European cuisine in town, the 2AA Rosette fine-dining restaurant provides the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Two courses for £29; three courses for £39; fivecourse Gourmet Chef’s Taster Menu for £50 and the Christmas Party Menu for £40.

Private dining room with designated waiter for up to 12 people.

43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

British & modern European

Chinese

Bardsley’s

Gars Restaurant

Rock & Roller

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele.

Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

The Dyke

Superb rustic Tuscan menu mingled with English classics. Locally sourced or organic ingredients and rapidly gaining a reputation as one of Brighton’s most stylish eateries.

One side is a proper pub with excellent real ales and log fire; the other a very grown-up stylish restaurant. It’s very child (and dog!) friendly too, and has a big garden for those late summer evenings. Lunch 12pm–3pm; dinner 6.30pm–9.45pm.

218 Dyke Road, Brighton, 01273 555672, www.dykepub.co.uk

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.u

Coffee shop Spinelli

Great coffee and light snacks at this original and very popular Kemp Town Village café and now a fuller American menu at their new branch in St James’s Street. Look out for great pancakes, cobb salads and burgers as well as the full English.

24 Garnet House, College Road, 01273 818819, & 111 St James’s Street Brighton, 01273 818084, www.spinellicoffee.co.uk

Gars

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order.

48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs.

No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm.

10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp

Indian Chaula’s

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday.

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

Winner of two AA Rosette awards, The Chilli Pickle is an Indian bistro in the heart of the North Lanes. The food is regional Indian cuisine executed at the highest level. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food as well as a good selection of Thalis, Kathi Kebabs and the ever popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian Beers, Original IPA, luxury loose teas and a well thought out wine list also feature.

42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to

politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Japanese Moshi Moshi

Is there a better and cooler place to eat Japanese in Brighton? We don’t think so, and neither do Moshi Moshi’s ever-growing fan base. Their sushi is fantastic, the service great, and they’ve won a brace of awards for their work in fish conservation. If you’re not yet a Moshi member, you’re missing out: their 50% off on Moshi Mondays are a phenomenom.

Opticon, Bartholomew Square, Brighton, BN1 1JS, 01273 719195, www.moshibrighton.co.uk

Spanish Agua Dulce

If you like your tapas authentic then this is the place for you. Brilliant traditional Spanish food with regional specialities in relaxed surroundings. Superb meat, fish and seafood tapas plus excellent larger dishes like their honey roast milk lamb. Paella, sangria... all that’s missing is the Mediterranean sun.

10-11 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NE, 01273 328672, www.aguadulce-restaurant.com

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we're open every day, so come down and “gin yur yur” (eat a lot!)

8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, www.thegreenmangohove.com

Sawadee

Sawadee Thai Restaurant has been offering a warm welcome on St James’s Street to regular customers and new visitors to Brighton for nearly 10 years. Their experienced Thai chefs cook to order, so every dish is freshly made and comes to your table straight from wok or grill. The menu features plenty of seafood, simple grilled meats, traditional thai curries and tasty stir-fry dishes.

Their set menus and lunch platters are a great way to try lots of different Thai tastes.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, BN2 1TP, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

025_LS503_Health_016_W93 LS468_NiaFestival 25/11/2010 14:17 Page 3

HEALTH & BEAUTY 25

Winter wellbeing Zara Baker wraps up & looks at ways to stay healthy and happy this Christmas

H

alloween seems like yesterday, and November was a blink-and-youmiss-it affair. Yes, December 1st is here and with it the Christmas songs in every shop and a festive advert on every channel – radio and TV. If you’re still in denial that Xmas is still ‘quite some time away’, the change in weather may be helping you remember with a sharp (cold) shock to the system. Here’s some tips on facing winter head on, embracing all the highs and lows that come with it...

The weather

Life Coach and Hypnotherapist

Specialist in Smoking Cessation and Weight Control Can also help with: Public Speaking Panic attacks Exam nerves Self esteem Phobias Learn self hypnosis FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION Brighton, Hove, Forest Row & London Practices

The Conway Practice with Jonathan Conway Bsc Dip EHPNLP MNCH snr Clinician (acc) NLP Master Practitioner & Coach

01273 540425 07956 855027

www.jonathanconway.co.uk

Be prepared. What more can the Met Office tell us as snow looms on the horizon one minute, disappears the next, and then returns with a vengeance?

After this year’s earlier problems, snow doesn’t seem quite as magical as it did when we were children. Prepare your home and vehicle for the colder weather ahead: ensure your boiler is serviced annually and running to its full potential. You don’t want to be without heating and hot water in December.

Check on elderly relatives and friends who are living alone. It’s a sad story when the elderly feel they can’t turn on their heating because they fear huge fuel bills. Health and wellbeing should always come first and staying warm is a definite must.

Take care on the roads and keep updated with local travel reports. If the weather does take a turn for the worse, avoid travelling if possible. Give your car a winter service, ensuring tyres have a legal depth tread (the legal limit is 1.6mm minimum around the centre 3/4 of the tyre). Have your car battery checked (and keep a charger to hand). Ensure your windscreen is completely clear before you travel – no matter how late you are running. Take care on the roads and be considerate of other drivers. Black ice is treacherous and there is a good reason the car in front is taking it easy on the accelerator. Keep the two-second rule in mind to avoid accidents and an expensive Christmas paying out on insurance excess. Stock up with de-icer and a scraper and prepare for frosty mornings ahead. And just in case you are stranded in the cold, be sure to pack a fleece blanket in your boot.

The Christmas shopping Don’t you just hate the friend who has all the Christmas shopping wrapped up in November (okay, hate’s too strong a word but it does make us anxious).

Christmas shopping is all about the mood: go too early and you’re not in the spirit; left too late, it’s a stressful rush where you’ll never pick up anything you actually wanted. The first few weeks of December are perfect (mentioning no specific dates so as to avoid an influx of shoppers at Churchill Square). It has been said that you can burn around 120 calories an hour on a shopping expedition (as if we needed an excuse!) but don’t go overboard if you’re shopping alone as your arms and shoulders will soon regret it with the bag loads. The plus side of shopping solo is you can get the job done in minimal time. The downside? Sometimes you need a good friend to face the crowds with... follow me on twitter

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This December, we can’t live without…

Baby bear trapper, £24, Accessorize

Elementz Stripe Welly, sizes 3–9, £20, Brantano

026_029_LS503_previews_editorial 25/11/2010 12:57 Page 2

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LATEST PREVIEWS STAGE

L7 Previews

Claire Sweeney

Journey’s End

Avenue Q

Derren Brown: Svengali (9–12 March) Don’t miss one of the four previews of the master of psychic illusion’s new show before his major UK Tour.

Brown has been mesmerising audiences with his TV and live work since 2000 and this new production promises to be as mystifying and shocking as ever.

STAGE: SPRING FEVER Theatre Royal Brighton once again announces a glittering new season, writes Andrew Kay

I

f commercial unsubsidised theatre is to survive, the key is balanced programming; that combination of commercial seat fillers and exciting and innovative new works and classics.

Ambassadors Theatre Group seem to be getting that balance right and their spring season is a delightful mix of quality entertainment to suit all tastes.

As booking for the whole season is now open, here are some highlights of the upcoming spring season.

Master Class (14–19 February) Stephanie Beacham (read our interview with the star at www.thelatest.co.uk/7) stars as diva Maria Callas in Terrence McNally’s play about the last years of her life. Callas remembers her dramas and her triumphs both on and off the opera stage.

Yes, Prime Minister (3–12 February) A hit of the Chichester Festival this year and then a huge West End success, Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn’s new comedy embarks on a

Journey’s End (5–9 April) The West End and Broadway hit is revived for a UK Tour. This is a moving drama set in the trenches of WWI that achieved international critical acclaim.

Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell (18–23 April) Keith Waterhouse captured the very essence of the roguish journo and his terrible behaviour and now Robert Powell takes on the role made famous by Peter O’Toole.

Hysterically funny, disgracefully badly behaved, this is one of the funniest plays of the last 50 years.

Richard McCabe Derren Brown

Rambert Dance Company (23–26 March) The Theatre Royal Associates return with their Awakenings Tour. Always popular with tickets selling fast, this season includes the new work Awakenings plus works by Siobhan Davies and Merce Cunningham. major national tour. Simon Williams plays PM Jim Hacker and Richard McCabe plays Sir Humphrey Appleby in this comic drama.

Tell Me On A Sunday (28 February–5 March) If Claire Sweeney delivers Andrew Lloyd Webber and Don Black’s clever one hander with half the oomph that she pack in her Chicago role, then this will be a triumph. Featuring the hits ‘Take That Look Off Your Face’ and ‘Tell Me on A Sunday’, this is one of ALW’s best works.

Rambert Dance Company

Robert Powell

Avenue Q (2–7 May) After five years in the West End this outrageous puppet musical hits the road. This is an X-rated Muppets meets Sesame Street so prepare to be shocked and to laugh until your sides ache. Booking will be absolutely essential for this show.

All tickets: 0844 8717650 or www.ambassadorstickets.com /theatre-royal-brighton or in person at the box office on New Road follow me on twitter

latestandrew

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

026_029_LS503_previews_editorial 25/11/2010 13:02 Page 3

LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 27 band’s shimmering high-life sound.

They have called this fusion Upper West Side Soweto...

Brighton Centre, 1 December, £20

MUSIC: JESSE MALIN American rocker with the stylings and looks of Ronnie Wood and Bruce Springsteen (as well as some of their musical abilities), Malin is a regular to these parts. This time with his band, The St. Mark’s Social, Malin’s tales of love and friendship on the road are quintessentially American.

Prince Albert, 2 December, 7.30pm, £10

MUSIC: THIEVES

BY THE CODE Power trio with hints of Queens Of The Stone Age within their finely crafted songs. There’s something exciting about this Brighton lot; big guitar solos, fuzz-toned bass, huge drumming, an experimental edge, sexy artwork and sweaty live workouts make this one of the best acts to have emerged recently.

Latest Musicbar, 1 December, £3 MUSIC: VAMPIRE WEEKEND Ivy League-educated New Yorkers whose two albums to date have successfully placed African music at the epicentre of their indie rock, even introducing steel drums to the

MUSIC: NINJA FORCE Jeff Hemmings chats to Pete Quicke of independent music label Ninja Tune

N CLUBS: GUILTY PLEASURES CHRISTMAS PARTY Things are hotting up this month too as it is the Guilty Pleasures Christmas Party. Expect to be spoiled with all the ultimate poptastic favourite and fabulous hits and misses from here, there and wherever that give you that guilty glow inside. Thrown into the mix will also be a few Christmas classics, so glitter up and get down for a night you won't forget.

Komedia, 4 December, 11pm–3am, £8/6 CLUBS: WILD FRUIT RED PARTY Brighton’s original, community focused, massive annual Red Party fundraising event is here at last !

This is your chance to dress in extravagant red for the eagerly awaited explosion of sexy fun and red glamour that epitomises the city’s premier party of the year. The whole community comes together as one to mark World Aids Day in a uniquely Brighton way. Make the effort to wear red as no effort, no entry!

Oceana, 5 December, 9.30pm–3am, £10, NUS £6 B4 11pm, £8 after.

inja Tune is one of the true success stories of the independent music scene here in the UK, having released a stream of ace electronic, alternative hip hop, nu-jazz, drum ’n’ bass and chillout sounds. Ninja Tune was founded 20 years ago by Matt Black and Jonathan More (better known as pioneering dance outfit Coldcut).

With a strong artist-friendly bias, a reputation the label continues to enjoy, Ninja Tune and its sub labels Big Dada, Counter and Motion Audio continue to discover and nurture new and established cutting edge talent from around the globe. Artists including DJ Food, Fink, Cinematic Orchestra, Bonobo, Mr Scruff, Roots Manuva, The Herbaliser, Lou Rhodes and Coldcut themselves have graced the Ninja Tune stable of labels.

“Coldcut set up the label because they were frustrated with the deal they had at the time,” explains Pete Quicke, label manager for the last 18 years. “Even today we have the same deal for all our artists: a 50/50 net profit arrangement. Being an artist-founded label, it became a label that people wanted to be a part of."

In the early days Ninja Tune was primarily associated with chillout and jazz hip hop/trip hop. “The pendulum swings from rock to electronic dance music,” says Pete. “Dubstep has brought about a new mindset in production and inventiveness. There’s lots of musical people now using the dubstep aesthetic such as Toddla T and Daedalus. It’s part of a new and continuing experimentation in electronic music.”

The much-loved Bonobo will be headlining the Brighton Dome show, complete with 12-piece band, along with Roots Manuva, Wrongtom’s Duppy Writer Soundsystem and Jono McCleery.

Concorde 2 will host a late show featuring DJ action courtesy of Coldcut, DJ Food & DK, The Qemists Soundsystem, DELS and King Cannibal.

So, what’s in store for the future?

“It is a tough environment, but it’s still possible to sell records. It’s always been hard! In the early days we struggled to sell 500/1000 12” records Bonobo by obscure artists, but gradually it got easier. We also work hard to get music on film, TV, videos...”

Does Pete have any particular favourites from the extensive Ninja Tune back catalogue? “There are so many good ones,” Pete replies, “but recently I think the Jaga Jazzist album is amazing, and Bonobo’s Black Sands is brilliant.”

A book entitled Ninja Tune: 20 Years Of Beats And Pieces was released this year to coincide with the anniversary celebrations, as well as a twodisc compilation album. Ninja fans may also like to know that there is a limited edition box set which contain six CDs, six 7” vinyl singles, a hardback copy of the book, a poster and additional gifts.

Ninja Tune, 20th Birthday Night, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Friday 10 December. 7.30pm, £20; followed on at Concorde 2, 11pm–5am, £12 follow me on twitter

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TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

026_029_LS503_previews_editorial 26/11/2010 13:12 Page 4 Zoe Lyons

LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS

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Rob Heeney

COMEDY: FESTIVE CHEER Victoria Nangle gets her Christmas stocking DVDs ready

T

here are loads of comedy DVDs out this Christmas. All of them will suit someone but mis-judging a sense of humour can make a clanger of a Crimbo stuff up. Check out our handy guide to matching the right comedy DVD to the perfect recipient.

Jim Jefferies – Alcoholocaust: Abrasive and aggressive from the start, although articulate through several pints of beer. Ideal for Cousin Jim who’s always been raucous. Best keep out of sight of great Aunt Mabel. Michael McIntyre – The Stand Up Collection: Family-friendly and familiar, combining his bestselling ‘Hello Wembley’ and ‘Live & Laughing’ with some ‘Roadshow’ gems. Good for family enjoyment, a cheeky grandparent or Dad. Kevin Bridges – The Story So Far...: The 23-year-old Glaswegian has eyes that have seen a lot but stoically seen the funny side of it all. For your droll teenager’s needs.

Stephen K Amos – The Feel Good Factor: A massive hug of a comedy show. Stephen K Amos looks for the best in the little things in life and the most non-offensive laughs per minute to cheer any dregs of a family fight.

For Mum. Richard Herring – Hitler Moustache: Challenging ideas and preconceptions, with a touch of blue material thrown in too, Herring asks why a previously popular piece of facial hair is now damned. Controversial.

For the kid back from uni.

Simon Amstell – Do Nothing: Awkward, honest and bitingly funny as the former Buzzcocks host criticises himself more harshly than any other.

Great for any indie kid, or former indie kid (Aunt Janey, you know who you are). Harry Hill’s TV Burp Gold 3: The best bits from the BAFTA-winning TV series. A classic pressie for anyone in your family in the armchair with a big laugh. Frank Sidebottom’s Fantastic Shed Show: A classic blast from the past released in memory of creator Chris Sievey, who sadly passed away earlier this year. Surreal, distinctly Manc, and Caroline Aherne’s TV debut.

Great for Uncle Chaz.

Dave Gorman – Stand-Up Live: For the physicist in your life who likes to laugh. Dave Gorman’s curiosity fuels this remarkable funny show. Russell Howard’s Good News: Series one of this BBC3 show was the most requested iPlayer show, with Russell’s spin on the news being good natured and challenging. For historians, politicians and activists on your sofa. Lee Mack – Going Out: Fast-paced gags and high-speed ad libs, along with a slot from Hove resident Simon Evans. For your pub mate who loves a laugh. follow me on twitter

latestvicky

COMEDY: NEW ACT NIGHT Travelling in the very large footsteps of Jimmy Carr, Shazia Mirza and Seann Walsh – all of whom also did the Jill Edwards Stand-Up Comedy Workshop – are the most recent hopefuls at the end of their course. I’ve seen them – they’re great. Hosted by the very lovely and funny Rob Heeney, this sells out every time and is well worth checking out for the stars of tomorrow.

Komedia, 1 December, 8pm, £7/5 COMEDY: CULT COMEDY A delightful mix of hand-selected comics, ready to entertain a Tuesday night in Hove at a very affordable price.

The Forager, 30 November, 8pm, £4 COMEDY: BENT DOUBLE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL A special festive night of alternative comedy hosted by the brilliant and dashing Zoe Lyons (Mock The Week and Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow) with headliner Alistair Barrie, plus Ramesh Ranganathan and Chris Neil.

Komedia, 5 December, 7.30pm, £24/12 EVENT: INHABIT For one day only Brighton Dome can be seen from an entirely new perspective: local artists, writers and performers have responded to

the normally hidden parts of this Grade I Listed building to create installations, interventions and mini performances to reveal the building’s hidden corners and best kept secrets.

Brighton Dome, tours take place on 4 December at various times throughout the day from 11am–1pm and 2pm–4pm, with free lunchtime entertainment in the foyer from 1pm–2pm. Free but tours must be booked on the day.

EVENT: HAMMER AND TONGUE The city’s finest performance poets will be battling it out live onstage in Hammer and Tongue’s annual poetry slam final, where things are about to get a little heated. There will also be a feature performance from 2010 World Slam Champion Ian Keteku. Hosted by Rosy Carrick and Mike Parker.

Komedia, 2 December, 7.30pm, £5/4

Alistair Barrie

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

✁ BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989

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Men’s wash & cut £10 Open on Sundays until 2pm

026_029_LS503_previews_editorial 25/11/2010 16:24 Page 5

Supported by

LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM Pay & Display

FILM: MONSTERS (12A) Dir: Gareth Edwards A new British film that sounds incredible. Six years ago NASA launched a probe to collect samples of possible alien life.

Upon re-entry it crashes into Central America, resulting in half of Mexico ending up quarantined.

A journalist agrees to escort a

29

tourist through the area.

Showing at Duke Of York’s Picturehouse, Odeon and Cineworld For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

FILM: MEGAMIND 3D (PG) Director: Tom McGrath

A

s December starts so do the seasonal blockbusters, ready for the Christmas holidays. With so much hype around this one, and the trailer actually looking like something to suit both kids and adults, Megamind 3D is all set to take over.

Starring the vocal talents of Will Ferrell as Megamind, he is the evil genius constantly thwarted in his evil doings by Metro Man, voiced by non other than Brad Pitt. Rivals since childhood, Megamind is as confused as an old dog who’s caught a rabbit for the first time when he finally destroys Metro Man, only to find another evil genius all ready to swoop in and take over the city in his stead. What to do?! Crikey, he’s just going to have to use all of his powers to try and save the city. Bit of a turnaround but somebody’s got to do it.

Also starring the vocal talents of Jonah Hill of Superbad and Funny People, plus the award-winning Tiny Fey of 30 Rock, Date Night and Saturday Night Live, this is set for big takings at the box office. Oh, and it’s directed by the man behind Madagascar. It’s out on Friday.

Showing at Duke of York’s Picturehouse, Odeon, Cineworld

ART: PAY & DISPLAY Exclusive limited edition prints, photography, mid-20th century furniture and assorted accoutrements are to be found within this constantly evolving pop-up gallery this December.

Featuring top quality artists from Brighton and London including Gemma Booth, Modern Toss, Sharon Elphick, Cardigan and Maria Rivans showing their work. www.payanddisplay.wordpress.com Pay & Display, 82 Gloucester Road.

Until 24 December ART: DIASTR With a name play on the word disaster, Diastr defines itself as an accidental event that explores creativity on the brink of great distress, impending failure and possible destruction. Both an exhibition of images, sounds and sculpture, it’s also a board game with a giant interactive home-

made rotating board with optional oaths and destinations! Prepare to get involved...

Diastr, Phoenix Gallery, 10–14 Waterloo Place, 01273 603700.

2–5 and 9–12 December

Listings

Monsters

Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

tue 30 november

sandweaver + back to kerouac + carly stubbs indie pop 8pm doors, £5/4 with flyer/advance

wed 1 december

thieves by the code + support queens of the stone age style leftfield rock 7.30pm doors, £3

thu 2 december cabaret bar: funky leftfield pop

whistleblower + illustrators + alex dew and the

astronauts + the icarus youth funky leftfield pop 7.30pm doors, £4

fri 3 december

frockabilly queer-run, straight-friendly, 1950sthemed club night with a festive mix of rockabilly shenanigans, crazy rock ’n’ roll and r’n’b!

8pm–2am, £7/6

bookings@thelatest.co.uk

sun 5 december cafe bar:

bark like a dog monthly blues jam open to all. www.barklikeadog.co.uk 8pm start £free cabaret bar:

autumn red + supports

sat 4 december

country folk psychedelia 7.30pm doors, £3

private party

mon 6 december

to book your private party, wedding or anniversary contact emma on 01273 687171 or email

Kate + Kate Daisy Grant + Joe Scott + Chip Philipps 7.30pm doors, £3

030_LS503_sports-TV column _024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 26/11/2010 10:54 Page 2

30

SPORT | TV

L7 Sport

L7 TV

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE

830 NOV – 6 DEC8

Up the Albion!

Telly Talk

Mark Brailsford on the blip in the system

With Victoria Nangle

S

Winter warmers

o much for the ‘blip’ in Albion’s league form. After the 0-0 ‘victory’ at Southampton (well, it felt like one) we can safely say that the Albion are still top of the league and deservedly so. The atmosphere was fantastic at St Mary’s on a chilly November evening. The noise was deafening and the occasion would have put some of the concurrent Champions League fixtures to shame. Sky missed a trick not televising this game.

The match had a menacing portentousness to it, especially when the Southampton team – sent out by their very capable manager Nigel Adkins – went for the metaphorical jugular from the off. A thinned out Albion squad due to injuries and suspension meant the team had a vulnerable feel to it.

And yet those present were privileged to witness a gritty and determined rear-guard defensive display from not only Gordon Greer and Adam El Abd but from El Abd’s inexperienced replacement Lewis Dunk. A few of us watching feared a drubbing as Southampton battered the Albion defence for most of the first half. Battipiedi, Wood and Barnes didn’t have good games but teenager Dunk, deputising for the unlucky El Abd who was accidentally crocked by Calderon in a defensive fracas was magnificent on the night – as was Glen Murray when finally unleashed by manager Gus Poyet.

Barnes has played well enough of late but his tempestuous exit when substituted didn’t cover him in glory after a poor display and his replacement by Murray transformed the game. First of all his defending from the front then secondly with his movement and intelligent running when he came on. Also, it was Murray who turned the Saints’ defence to earn the failed penalty. What a shame he didn’t start; Albion could have come home with all three points. However, I think we can safely concur with the majority of Albion fans’ views as we came away from St Mary’s, that Southampton should have won the game. It is a testimony to the steely determination of this admittedly misfiring team that they are still delivering great results in the toughest of circumstances. A great result.

“Sky missed a trick not televising this game” Albion look set for a full blooded but exciting battle to retain leadership of the division.

The causes of concern at this stage are the lack of depth in the midfield due to injuries and suspensions. Matt Sparrow’s persistent injury problems, the absence of LuaLua and lest we forget, the unfortunate Alan Navarro, indicates a squad in need of reinforcement.

The return from suspension of Liam Bridcutt will be crucial if poor old Radostin Kishishev is to make it past Christmas without collapsing from exhaustion. Kishishev has played a lot of games and has been Albion’s unsung hero with his selfless running, astute positional play and classy passing. But he needs some help back there. Let’s hope we see a new loan signing (or two?) before the loan deal window closes.

So what is going on with the forwards? Murray sounds like he is on the way out, which is a shame, and Barnes has had his little burst of goals before reverting to type to miss some good chances. Wood, the surprise newcomer from the other Albion (West Brom) may turn out to be an inspired signing but with such a big man up front, the temptation to launch the ball into the ‘mixer’ can lead to poorer ball retention, something that clearly isn’t to Poyet’s liking. So will we get another surprise superstar signing, possibly at Huddersfield? Either way, as Albion’s brilliant away support jubilantly and defiantly sang at Southampton: “We are top of the league!” And this, after our so called ‘blip’! Who said we only sing when we’re winning?

L

ook out of your window at views of the Downs (or the town) and you’ll stretch your neck to catch the hues reminiscent of a winter repeat of Miss Marple or Lewis. The weather is conforming to British stereotype, and I personally take comfort in watching it turn into a Christmas special of my favourite murder mystery before my very eyes. And it doesn’t have to be a brand new episode to entertain me.

It may sound odd but I am

“This is no pickpocket scandal in the village – lives have been lost!” celebrating the mighty canon of repeats, along with the much revered and lauded one-offs promised with the new season, of established and very British whodunnits. It’s no mystery as to why Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap ran long enough to set records in the West End. This genre, especially at this time of year, is reassuring, it tells us to mind our manners as mother did way back when, and throws in a spot of cutthroat malarkey just so that we don’t think we’re in a Jane Austen time trap.

My favourites at the moment are Rosemary And Thyme, Miss Marple and whatever Jonathan Creek I can get my hands on. It’s a guilty pleasure; not cutting edge but somehow it helps to herald in the winter months under a duvet, with smells of a stew cooking wafting in from the kitchen. Yum. And a murder in the library.

I think it’s partly the very British way that a body on the terrace

would never be enough to stop dinner being served, combined with the unravelling of clues to a most gruesome crime in the same matter-of-fact way the correct fork has been selected to dine at said dinner. This is no pickpocket scandal in the village – lives have been lost! But it’s still only a PG rating, possibly a U in afternoon sleuthing.

Maybe I’m morbid, but it helps me get through the seasonal change. Other people have X Factor and I’m A Celebrity..., some people plant vegetables, but just give me a good country garden and a suspicious gardener and I’m ready to put that extra jumper on.

Welcome winter.

The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes, Heartbeat, Wycliffe, The Ruth Reydell Mysteries, Inspector Morse, Agatha Christie’s Poirot, PD James and more, ITV2 and ITV3 throughout the week follow me on twitter

latestvicky

031_LS503_TV_Tues_L7wed14apr.qxd 25/11/2010 14:46 Page 1

tuesday 30 River Monsters ITV1, 7.30pm Jeremy Wade goes deep into the forbidding Alaskan wilderness to visit lakes where legend has it people have been vanishing without trace for hundreds of years. This is new territory, as he has never done any sub-Arctic fishing before but he manages to land one whopper catch. The one that didn’t get away. Splosh.

The Big Bang Theory Channel 4, 11.15pm The guys are concerned when Sheldon searches for an alternative to human companionship after he and Amy go their separate ways. Then things take a turn for the worse and Leonard gets Sheldon’s mum to pay him a visit after Sheldon starts bulk-buying pet cats.

Buy one, get one furry?

Beyond Walford: Roxy Mitchell BBC3, 8pm Can actress Rita Simons step into her Roxy’s shoes and do the job for real? In this doc, Rita spends a week behind the bar of a real life East End pub before taking the helm and being ‘mine host’ for the weekend. Dealing with drunks and stag dos, has Rita really got the bottle for the job?

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Trapped: Ever After 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 My Genius Idea 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.10am Children’s television 9.10 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.25 The Large Family 9.40 Toddworld 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 Car Booty 2.10 Ready Steady Cook 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off 6.00 Eggheads Over-easy quiz.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia is joined by the couple who narrowly escaped elimination from last weekend’s show.

7.00 Coast Neil Oliver discovers how demand for tin 3,500 years ago put Cornwall at the centre of an international arms trade.

8.00 Alan Titchmarsh’s Garden Secrets Alan Titchmarsh reveals the amazing secrets behind Britain’s great gardens. Sissinghurst gardens in Kent is featured.

9.00 The Foods That Make Billions This episode tells the incredible story of how business has turned grain into one of the biggest success stories of the food industry.

10.00 Miranda Miranda doesn’t know how to cope when all the men in her life suddenly turn their affections towards her.

10.30 Newsnight Presented by Emily Maitlis.

11.20 Limbo Babies Documentary looking at ‘Limbo babies’, stillborn babies born to Roman Catholic families, who were denied a cemetery burial because they had not been baptised.

12.20am American Dream This episode looks at those who could not square the rhetoric of the dream with the reality of their lives.

1.20 BBC News

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.35am Sali Mali 6.40 The Treacle People 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.10 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.40 Frasier 9.10 According To Jim 9.40 Friends 10.10 One Tree Hill 11.05 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 River Cottage Bites 12.15 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.20 FILM: Legend Of The Lost (1957) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Ice Patrol 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Journey Of The Heart (1997) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Roz begs Adam to see the truth about Holly. Maisie grows closer to Nikhil. Leyla urges Alicia to compromise over Jacob.

7.30 River Monsters See highlights.

8.00 All New You’ve Been Framed! Including two musical horses, a very happy monkey and some costume calamities.

8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Tensions run high in the jungle as the starving celebrities face the viewer vote that decides who must leave the jungle for good.

Hosted by Ant and Dec. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Olly Murs Revealed Documentary following 2009 X Factor runner-up Olly Murs on his rollercoaster ride from TV talent competition fame to success as an artist in his own right. Featuring contributions from JLS and Simon Cowell.

11.35 Swingtown Last in the drama series. All three couples face difficult decisions about their respective relationships as they party away at the Deckers’ summer clambake.

12.30am The Zone ITV1’s place to shop and play. 2.30 The Rockford Files 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Kiefer Sutherland guest stars as a hardnosed colonel who terrorises Homer when the army arrives in Springfield.

6.30 Hollyoaks Gilly struggles to cope in the lead-up to Steph’s funeral.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv Religious and ethical issues.

8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home Kirstie meets Alpesh and Sharon Patel, who moved into their home three years ago but have yet to make their mark on the interiors.

9.00 The Family Ladies man Ayo opens his heart about a previous relationship.

10.00 Frankie Boyle’s Tremadol Nights Stand-up with sketches.

10.35 The Morgana Show Character-based sketch show.

11.10 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2010 A short film.

11.15 The Big Bang Theory See highlights.

11.40 Robert’s Web Studio-based comedy show.

12.15am Bullrun: New York To Las Vegas The world’s most glam rally.

12.50 Sony Ericsson B-Boy 1.15 Freesports On 4 1.45 European Beach Volleyball Championship Finals 2.40 KOTV Boxing Weekly 3.05 World Sport 3.30 The British Gas Great Swim 4.25 Extreme Sailing 4.55 Deadliest Catch 5.45 One Tree Hill

6.00 Home And Away Charlie is far from happy when Detective Robertson returns to the bay to take over the investigation into Penn’s disappearance.

6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Street Market Chefs The action moves to Leicester and features the cooks creating mouthwatering recipes involving the Caribbean staple fruit plantain.

8.00 Sea Patrol UK Documentary series charting the work of the elite teams that patrol the UK’s south coast.

9.00 CSI: Miami The CSIs attempt to catch the culprits behind an armed robbery that left a bystander dead.

10.00 CSI: NY Flack bonds with a young witness after a teenager is shot and robbed in front of his ten-year-old brother.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation An LA cop is murdered during a special police race, while Sara and Warrick investigate the shooting of another officer in his hotel room.

11.55 True CSI Forensic science documentary series.

12.55am SuperCasino Visit www.SuperCasino.com 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Football League: Championship 11.00 Spanish Football 12.30pm SPL Round-Up 1.00 Football League: Championship 2.30 Spanish Football 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Barclays Premier League Review 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Carling Cup Football 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 Revista De La Liga

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country.

7.30 EastEnders Ryan urges Stacey to face her demons and return to the Square.

8.00 Holby City Faye goes into a difficult labour but refuses to leave the psyche ward. Not knowing where to turn, Joseph calls Jac – but will she really help Faye?

9.00 Turn Back Time: The High Street The shopkeepers and their customers move into the swinging sixties, where big changes hit the high street.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... Arts documentary.

A portrait of the pioneering photographer, forefather of cinema, showman and murderer Eadweard Muybridge.

11.35 FILM: Away From Her (2006) Starring Julie Christie.

Oscar-nominated emotional drama about a man who reassesses his life when his wife, institutionalised with Alzheimer’s, transfers her affections for him on to another man in her nursing home.

1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.55 Masterchef: The Professionals 2.55 Renaissance Revolution 3.55 The Bionic Vet 4.25 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE: Afterburn 8.00 Barclays Premier League Review 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 11.30 PGA Tour Classic 12.30pm European Tour Golf 1.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes 5.00 Sports Unlimited 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Carp Academy 2010 7.00 FIA GT1 World Championship 8.00 British Basketball League 10.00 Ultimate Fighter 11.00 Poker Million 1.00am Ultimate Fighter 2.00 FIA GT1 World Championship 3.00 Asian Tour Golf Show 3.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Extra Time 9.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 Spruce Meadows 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Extra Time 3.30 Spruce Meadows 4.30 Wild Spirits 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 Bowls 8.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 9.00 FIA GT1 World Championship 10.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 11.00 Golfing World 12.00am Asian Tour Golf Show 12.30 Bowls 1.30 British Basketball League 3.30 Close Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm X-Weighted 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 UK Border Force 9.00 Stargate Universe 10.00 Fringe 11.00 FILM: Black Swarm (2007) 12.50am Road Wars

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Beyond Walford: Roxy Mitchell 9.00 Mad About The House 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Young Plumber Of The Year 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.10am Beyond Walford: Roxy Mitchell See highlights 1.10 Mad About The House 2.10 Young Plumber Of The Year 3.10 Total Wipeout

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Jazz 625 8.00 Newcastle On Film 8.30 Time To Remember 9.00 Frederick The Great And The Enigma Of Prussia 10.00 Getting On 10.30 Accused 11.30 FILM: OSS 117: Cairo, Nest Of Spies (2005) 1.05am Frederick The Great And The Enigma Of Prussia 2.05 Getting On

3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Peter Andre: The Hot Desk 8.00 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) 1.15am Emmerdale

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.05 On The Buses 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Wycliffe 7.50 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Lewis 11.00 PD James: An Unsuitable Job For A Woman 1.05am Numb3rs 1.45 Life

11.15am 90210 12.10pm Veronica Mars 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Accidentally On Purpose 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 FILM: Zoolander (2001) 10.50 The Event 11.50 Scrubs (x2) 12.50am The Event 1.40 Life Unexpected

2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA 5.30 Relocation, Relocation Updates 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Battle For Barking 12.00am Come Dine With Me

11.00am Seance On A Wet Afternoon (1964) 1.15pm The Band Wagon (1953) 3.25 Across The Wide Missouri (1951) 5.00 Bhowani Junction (1956) 7.05 The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) 9.00 Braveheart (1995) 12.20am Meet The Spartans (2008) 2.00 Room To Rent (2000) 3.55 Close

S N 6.

Sp pr pa w Sp re lo an 8.

Sp pr pa w Fo bl Fo Le Fo np st se six Li M SP re Cl 1.

Le Fo np st se six Li M AM fro Ru 5.

032_LS503_TV_Weds_L7wed14apr.qxd 25/11/2010 14:46 Page 1

wednesday 1 december Home And Away Channel Five, 6pm Irene sticks her beak into Will’s business. Alf begins to believe that Robertson also suspects Nicole. He confides his fears in Charlie, and also confesses to his affair with Penn’s ma. Charlie takes this info to Robertson, which leaves Alf looking more and more like a killer. He’s always looked like a wrong ‘un to us.

Wallace And Gromit’s World Of Invention BBC1, 7.30pm W and G tell the tale of 1940s Hollywood starlet Hedy Lamarr, who had a sneaky side-line in inventing, and who devised a radio-controlled ‘secretcommunication’ system for steering torpedoes to help allied forces in the war.

And they shall tell it only once...

The Only Way Is Essex ITV2, 9.00pm & 9.25pm Will Kirk’s ‘special date’ with Amy seal their romance? Can Lauren become an independent woman?

Will ladies’ man Mark fall for a new gal on the block? Can Lauren get over him by dating half of Essex? Meanwhile, preparations get underway for Essex Fashion Week. Vivienne Woodford and Jasper Chingford?

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Horrible Histories 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 Little Howard’s Big Question 4.30 Dani’s House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country.

7.30 Wallace And Gromit’s World Of Invention See highlights.

8.00 Jimmy’s Food Factory Jimmy lifts the lids on the secrets in the lunch box. He adapts a lawn mower and a mangle to find out the difference between freshly squeezed apple juice and juice made from concentrate.

8.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers Sumptuous beetroot cake, a lentil and chard stew and a beef and ale casserole.

9.00 The Apprentice Lord Sugar ups the ante as the candidates are called to a skyscraper in the heart of the City’s financial district.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws Presented by Myleene Klass.

10.45 Film 2010 With Claudia Winkleman Film 2010 looks at Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale.

11.25 The League Cup Show Manish Bhasin presents action from the four quarter-final matches.

12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Country Tracks 1.25 Masterchef: The Professionals 2.25 Lost Land Of The Tiger 3.25 BBC News

6.00a – 8.55m 8.55 Big Barn Farm 9.05 Buzz And Tell 9.10 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.25 The Large Family 9.40 Toddworld 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Car Booty 2.15 Ready Steady Cook 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off 6.00 Eggheads Come out of your shell for this quiz show.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman presents backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the dance show.

7.00 Escape To The Country Denise Nurse is in North Yorkshire helping a couple who have been searching for their ideal country home for ten years.

8.00 Edwardian Farm It’s December and Alex, Peter and Ruth face the challenge of earning a living in one of the hardest months of the year.

9.00 Ancient Worlds Richard Miles traces the battlescarred career of Alexander the Great.

10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Companion discussion show to the Apprentice, presented by Dara O Briain. A task to buy 10 items at the best price led to one candidate being discounted.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis.

11.20 RTS Huw Wheldon Lecture 2010 – Science: A Challenge To TV Orthodoxy Professor Brian Cox uses this year’s Huw Wheldon Memorial Lecture to address the main challenges in bringing science to TV. 12.00am The Foods That Make Billions Repeat of yesterday’s show 1.00 BBC News

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.30am Planet Cook 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.10 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.40 Frasier 9.10 According To Jim 9.40 Friends 10.10 One Tree Hill 11.10 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA 1.10 FILM: Operation Petticoat (1959) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons Lisa helps Moe discover his inner poet, but when fame beckons he refuses to acknowledge her contribution.

6.30 Hollyoaks In this special flashback episode, we see how Warren escaped the Loft fire and fled Hollyoaks village.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv Religious and ethical issues.

8.00 Animal Madhouse This time the vets meet a dog in need of a hip replacement and a cat with poor bladder control.

9.00 Grand Designs Kevin McCloud pays a return visit to Mark and Debbie Sampson.

10.00 Rude Tube Alex Zane showcases the weirdest and funniest videos on the internet.

11.05 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2010 A short film.

11.10 The Event Fast-paced US conspiracy thriller.

12.10am MUSIC ON 4: On Track With Seat The featured artist in this session is Clare Maguire. 12.25 MUSIC ON 4: Live At Russian Standard Originals 12.40 MUSIC ON 4: The Album Chart Show Spotlight

By TescoEntertainment.com 12.55 MUSIC ON 4: 4Play: Mumford And Sons 1.10 FILM: Mister Lonely (2007) 3.05 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 3.50 Brothers And Sisters 4.40 Hill Street Blues 5.30 Countdown

6.00 – 8.20am 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Ice Patrol 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Meals In Moments 3.05 Meals In Moments 3.15 FILM: Undercover Angel (1998) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away See highlights.

6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Europa League Football Live Europa League football action from Group A as Roberto Mancini’s Manchester City play host to Austrian outfit Red Bull Salzburg at the City of Manchester Stadium. Jim Rosenthal presents the action.

10.10 FILM: The Art Of War (2000) Starring Wesley Snipes, Anne Archer, Donald Sutherland, Michael Biehn, Maury Chaykin and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa. Action adventure. When the Chinese ambassador to the US is assassinated during vital trade talks between the two countries, a spy who is assigned to find the killer becomes the main suspect himself.

He teams up with a UN interpreter in order to track down a recording of the assassination and prove his innocence.

12.30am Five VOD PartyPoker.com World Open VI Poker action as heat two of the World Open continues.

WSOP Bracelet winners, tournament champions and online players clash for a spot at the final table and a chance of winning the $200,000 top prize 1.25 SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.30 Hyundai A League 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30pm Hyundai A League 1.00 Carling Cup Football 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.00 Carling Cup Football 5.30 Hyundai A League 6.00 Football Asia 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 Total Rugby 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 You’re On Sky Sports 4.00 Carling Cup Football 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Moira’s attempts to help Holly get her into trouble.

Adam takes a shine to Mia. Declan refuses to let Ella cramp his style.

7.30 Coronation Street Ken gets more than he bargains for when he goes looking for Peter in The Joinery.

Carla hits the bottle after a run-in with Peter. Owen agrees to help Steve out as the Rovers starts to crumble.

8.00 Coronation Street Ken is in turmoil after his discovery.

Charlotte introduces a stunned John to her parents. Owen threatens Jim after putting him in hospital.

8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The celebrities face another viewer vote to decide who stays and who must leave the jungle forever.

Presented by Ant and Dec. 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 FILM: Raw Deal (1986) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kathryn Harrold, Sam Wanamaker, Darren McGavin and Robert Davi.

All-action adventure about an ex-FBI agent who goes undercover to infiltrate the Chicago gangsters responsible for the death of his former boss’s son. 12.30am The Zone ITV1’s place to shop and play 2.35 FILM: The Appaloosa (1966) 4.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Carp Academy 2010 9.30 Asian Tour Golf Show 10.00 Sailing 11.00 Poker Million 1.00pm Carp Academy 2010 1.30 Bowls 2.30 British Basketball League 4.30 Carp Academy 2010 5.00 Watersports World 6.00 European Tour Weekly 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Ultimate Fighter 11.00 International Cricket 12.00am Oceanico Portugal Bowls Masters 1.00 Ultimate Fighter 2.00 Cage Fighter 2.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Asian Tour Golf Show 7.00 FIA GT1 World Championship 8.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 8.55 LIVE International Cricket 5.30pm Asian Tour Golf Show 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 International Cricket 9.00 European Tour Weekly 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Golfing World 12.00am European Tour Weekly 1.00 Close

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm X-Weighted 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 The Little Couple 8.30 Raising Hope 9.00 Bones 10.00 FILM: The Siege (1998) 12.15am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Beyond Walford: Roxy Mitchell 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 FILM: Con Air (1997) 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 Can’t Bully Me 12.30am Russell Howard’s Good News 1.00 Beyond Walford: Roxy Mitchell 2.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 2.55 Can’t Bully Me 3.55 Russell Howard

7.00pm News 7.30 A History Of The World: The Man Who Shrank The Globe 8.00 Masterpieces Of Vienna 8.30 Julia Bradbury’s German Wanderlust 9.00 Al Murray’s German Adventure 10.00 Mad Men 10.45 Tales From Berlin 11.45 Al Murray’s German Adventure 12.45am Julia Bradbury’s German Wanderlust

4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 All New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) See highlights 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: Constantine (2005) 1.25am Coronation Street (x2) 2.15 Emmerdale

12.00pm Wycliffe 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.05 On The Buses 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Wycliffe 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Numb3rs 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Why Didn’t They Ask Evans? 1.15 Poirot

12.10pm Veronica Mars 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Accidentally On Purpose 4.30 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Desperate Housewives 11.00 Natalie Cassidy: Becoming Mum 12.00am RuPaul’s Drag Race

2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Time Team Special 11.05 Britain’s Worst Weather 12.10am Time Team 1.10 Time Team Special

11.00am A Man Alone (1955) 12.50pm Up Periscope (1959) 3.00 Carry On Behind (1975) 4.45 The Cat Returns (2002) 6.25 Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World (2003) 9.00 AVP: Alien Vs Predator (2004) 10.45 Dogtooth (1975) 12.35am Maurice (1987) 3.35 Close

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033_LS503_TV_Thurs_L7wed14apr.qxd 26/11/2010 11:10 Page 1

thursday 2 Rick Stein’s Cornish Christmas BBC2, 8.30pm No, no, there’s more to it than scoffing a pasty while riding a tube, man. Rick shows us the real Cornish Crimbo, he joins in the ancient festival of Wassailing, tries out the ice rink at Eden, enjoys the company of Port Isaac’s Fisherman’s Friends and cooks his own goose. Ouch.

Law And Order Channel Five, 10.55pm Hmm, there’s a problemo with equal rights tonight. When a woman falls from a hotel the detectives get stuck in a custody battle between the victim and her lesbian ex-missus. McCoy finds himself embroiled in gay rights as he struggles to prove the death was murder. Will he be able to find evidence?

Freak Like Me BBC3, 11.45pm Roll up, roll up, this week’s freaks includes a girl who loves to click her body, a woman who still sucks her thumb and a rugby player who loves to put green teabags on his eyes. Plus, matters of great importance are discussed by the public: which toilet cubicle do you use? And what you do with your bogeys?

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Horrible Histories 3.30 What’s New ScoobyDoo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 Deadly 60 4.30 Combat Kids 5.00 Children Of Kabul: A Newsround Special 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.50am Children’s television 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 Car Booty 2.15 Ready Steady Cook 2.45 The 2018 World Cup Bid 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country.

7.30 EastEnders Stacey has an ultimatum for Ryan, and Julie’s first day at the Vic ends in chaos. Glenda turns to her familiar tricks when she finds herself in financial difficulties.

8.00 Motorway Cops A huge crash on an unlit section of the M6 involving a 44-tonne lorry and two cars brings chaos to the motorway, and the motorway police must find out what caused the accident, and if anyone is to blame.

9.00 Have I Got News For You With team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Lee Mack and guest panelists.

9.30 Live At The Apollo Lee Mack, comedian and star of BBC One sitcom Not Going Out, presents sets from American comic Rich Hall and Scotland’s very own Danny Bhoy.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Chaired by David Dimbleby in Coventry.

11.35 This Week A political review of the week.

12.25am Holiday Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 12.30 Sign Zone: FIFA’s Dirty Secrets: Panorama 1.00 Countryfile 1.55 Antiques Roadshow 2.55 Lost Land Of The Tiger 3.55 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Feeling henpecked?

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia appraises some of the costumes from the series and gets the latest news from inside the training rooms.

7.00 The Culture Show Features interviews with director Danny Boyle about his latest film 127 Hours and Sir Derek Jacobi as he takes to the stage in King Lear.

8.00 Nigella Kitchen Nigella shows a speedy take on a French classic, tarragon chicken with steamed green beans, that’s the work of moments and makes a perfect after work supper.

8.30 Rick Stein’s Cornish Christmas See highlights.

9.00 At Home With The Georgians In this three part series, historian Amanda Vickery explores how the great British obsession with our homes began 300 years ago.

10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest presenter Tim Westwood and panellists JLS, Holly Walsh, Russell Watson and Wiley.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis.

11.20 The Culture Show Repeat 12.20am The Apprentice: You’re Fired Repeat 1.00 BBC News

ITV1

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale John is horrified to discover the lengths to which Moira has gone for Holly. Bob worries that Viv is enjoying his company a little too much. An angry Marlon makes a decision about the baby.

8.00 Coronation Street Will Ken keep quiet as Leanne is torn between two men? Tyrone is upset by Molly’s deceit. Steve makes Owen fully aware of his disapproval.

8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The celebrities battle hunger and each other as the viewers decide who is the next celebrity to leave the jungle for good. Presented

by Ant and Dec. 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) Starring Vin Diesel, Thandie Newton, Judi Dench, Colm Feore, Karl Urban and Yorick van Wageningen. Sci-fi action sequel to Pitch Black. When a horde of warlike totalitarian mindbenders known as Necromongers seek to subordinate the universe, peacekeepers enlist the help of intergalactic convict Riddick.

12.40am The Zone Our hosts guide you through The Zone, ITV1’s place to shop and play. Including features from QVC and Challenge Jackpot.

2.45 Surface 3.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.15am Sali Mali 6.20 The Treacle People 6.30 Planet Cook 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.10 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.40 Frasier 9.10 According To Jim 9.40 Friends 10.05 One Tree Hill 11.00 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.05 FILM: North To Alaska (1960) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed

6.00 The Simpsons After losing his job, Homer tries his hand at being an ice-cream man. But his dedication to his new career threatens to come between him and Marge.

6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes drowns her sorrows after missing Malachy’s funeral.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.55 4thought.tv Series of brief documentaries on religious and ethical issues.

8.00 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare Property show.

9.00 Secret Millionaire Changed My Life Ex-Para Tony Banks gave away over £1m to the people he met while undercover in Liverpool. He returns to revisit Dave Kelly, who went blind 14 years ago and now runs a sports charity.

10.00 FILM: John Tucker Must Die (2006) Starring Jesse Metcalfeand Arielle Kebbel. Teen comedy.

11.45 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2010 A short film.

11.50 Reaper Comedy series.

12.50am MUSIC ON 4: Mumford And Sons: Gentlemen Of The Road 1.05 MUSIC ON 4: Mumford And Sons: Gentlemen Of The Road 1.25 King Of The Hill (x2) 2.10 Coppers 3.05 Our Drugs War 4.00 Unreported World 4.25 Brothers And Sisters 5.10 One Tree Hill 5.55 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Ice Patrol 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Meals In Moments 3.00 FILM: Home Fires Burning (1989) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Home And Away Miles and Alf lie to Robertson about the former’s involvement with Tulip O’Hare.

6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Rescue 177 is scrambled to rescue a man who has fallen 30 feet down a cliff.

With only 20 minutes of daylight remaining, the boys have a tough task on their hands.

8.00 Emergency Bikers Actionpacked documentary series following the work of emergency bike crews.

9.00 NCIS Gibbs is forced to come out of retirement to help Fornell and his daughter Emily, who are being threatened by a convict who escaped from prison.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Eames and Goren investigate the murder of a student at an exclusive private school.

10.55 Law And Order See highlights 11.55 Cops In Crisis Documentary series about people who have had to face extraordinary, dangerous and harrowing situations, from failed robberies to police shoot-outs.

12.15am SuperCasino Visit www.SuperCasino.com 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 International Cricket 12.30pm Football Asia 1.00 Carling Cup Football 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Football Asia 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 European Tour Weekly 6.00 Carling Cup Football 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 Trans World Sport 9.00 Watersports World 10.00 Oceanico Portugal Bowls Masters 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Tiree Wave Classic 2010 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 FIA GT1 World Championship 5.00 Trans World Sport 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 FEI Equestrian World 7.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 7.30 LIVE Sky Sports Victory Shield Football 9.45 Carling Cup Football 10.45 The Rugby Club 11.45 Ringside 12.45am Sky Sports Classics 1.00 LIVE NFL 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.30am Tiree Wave Classic 2010 8.00 European Tour Weekly 9.00 Live Golf 2.30pm Carp Academy 2010 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Oceanico Portugal Bowls Masters 5.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 6.00 Spirit Of Yachting 6.30 LIVE LPGA Tour Golf 9.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 12.00am Golf 1.30 Golfing World 2.30 The Rugby Club 3.30 Race World 4.30 FEI Equestrian World 5.00 Close

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

4.00pm Bones 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Modern Family 7.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 10.00 Raising Hope 10.30 A League Of Their Own 11.00 Wayne Rooney’s Street Striker 3 12.00am NCIS: LA 1.00 Road Wars

7.00pm Mad About The House 8.00 Young Plumber Of The Year 9.00 My Boyfriend The War Hero 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Freak Like Me See highlights 12.15am My Boyfriend The War Hero 1.15 Russell Howard’s Good News

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Frederick The Great And The Enigma Of Prussia 8.30 The Beauty Of Diagrams 9.00 The Art Of Cornwall 10.30 FILM: The Diving Bell And The Butterfly (2007) 12.15am The Beauty Of Diagrams 12.45 Frederick The Great And The Enigma Of Prussia 1.45 The Art Of Cornwall

3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All New You’ve Been Framed!

7.30 Life’s Funniest Moments 8.00 The Vampire Diaries 9.00 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: Mickey Blue Eyes (1998) 1.05am Coronation Street

10.25am Ballykissangel 11.35 On The Buses 12.05pm Wycliffe 1.10 Heartbeat 2.10 Ballykissangel 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Monk 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Monsignor Renard 12.40am Life (x2)

12.10pm Veronica Mars 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Being Erica 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 Meet The Parents 10.00 Misfits 11.05 This Is England ‘86 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 Misfits 2.05 This Is England ‘86

2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Relocation: Phil Down Under 10.00 Without A Trace (x2) 12.00am Relocation: Phil Down Under

11.00am The Last Mitterand (2005) 1.15pm Man Behind The Gun (1953) 2.55 Gigi (1958) 5.10 One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 7.10 Big Business (1988) 9.00 A Mighty Heart (2007) 11.05 Good Luck Chuck (2007) 1.00am Silk (2007) 3.20 Close

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034_LS503_TV_Fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 25/11/2010 15:06 Page 1

friday 3 EastEnders BBC1, 8pm Syed faces a dilemma as he wrestles with a secret that could destroy his parents’ marriage.

Jane and Masood panic when Zainab delights in goading a nihilistic Ian. Plus, Dot embarks on an exciting new hobby with help from Heather and Fat Boy. White water rafting? Spot of zorbing? Ooh, call Doctor Legg.

The Graham Norton Show BBC1, 10.35pm Mr Norton is joined by Hollywood star Jack Black, talking about his new film Gulliver’s Travels; comedian Miranda Hart, who talks sitcoms and pratfalls; filmmaker and Hairspray creator John Waters; and (hold on to your hormones teenies) it’s Justin Bieber who sings his latest single. Pass the smelling salts.

Coming Of Age BBC3, 9.30pm Comedy about a bunch of sixth formers as they enjoy a final romp with adolescence. Chloe is fuming after she and Matt are turned away from the cinema when they attempt to see a blue movie. And Ollie and Jas decide to find a new common interest that doesn’t involve sex. Pah! Fat chance for these saucepots.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Horrible Histories 3.30 What’s New ScoobyDoo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 Fee Fi Fo Yum 4.30 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.25am Children’s television 9.25 The Large Family 9.40 Toddworld 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Animal Park 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 Car Booty 2.15 Ready Steady Cook 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.40am The Treacle People 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.10 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.40 Frasier 9.10 According To Jim 9.40 Friends 10.10 One Tree Hill 11.05 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Supernanny US 1.00 FILM: Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines (1965) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Emergency Bikers 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Meals In Moments 3.00 FILM: It Had To Be You (2000) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Carling Cup Football 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Carling Cup Football 12.00pm Ringside 1.00 Live World Cup Of Darts 5.00 World Sport 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Football League Weekend 11.30 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country.

8.00 EastEnders See highlights.

8.30 QI Stephen Fry asks unanswerable questions about highs and lows, with Sandi Toksvig, Fred MacAulay, Rob Brydon and Alan Davies.

9.00 Michael McIntyre: Hello Wembley! Stand-up performance recorded at Wembley Arena during Michael McIntyre’s 2009 sell-out 54 date UK tour.

10.00 BBC News At Ten The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide.

10.25 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South East of England.

10.35 The Graham Norton Show See highlights.

11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws The National Lottery Draws presented by OJ Borg.

11.30 FILM: Primeval (2007) Starring Dominic Purcell. Action thriller based on true events.

1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: Lost Land Of The Tiger 2.05 Horizon: Back From The Dead 3.05 The Classroom Experiment 4.05 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show for people with oval-shaped noggings.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia breaks into rehearsals, and a star-studded Friday Panel looks forward to the next show.

7.00 Edwardian Farm Archaeologists Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn and historian Ruth attempt to bring Morwellham Quay in Devon back to life as it was in its Edwardian heyday.

8.00 Mastermind Subjects in this edition are: war memoirs of Spike Milligan, the life and times of Mark Antony, the life of Lillie Langtry and the history of the Henley Royal Regatta.

8.30 Britain By Bike Clare Balding reveals how a cycle factory went to war.

9.00 John Sergeant On Tracks Of Empire John Sergeant embarks on a 3,000 mile journey through the history of the greatest legacy the British left to India - its vast rail network.

10.00 The Stephen K Amos Show Series featuring stand-up comedy, sketches and guests.

10.30 Newsnight Presented by Gavin Esler.

11.00 The Review Show Round table arts discussion programme.

11.50 FILM: Spider (2002) Starring Ralph Fiennes and Miranda Richardson. Atmospheric thriller.

1.25am BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale John makes a desperate attempt to get through to Holly. Viv continues to manipulate Bob into doing her bidding.

7.30 Coronation Street Molly stuns Tyrone by telling him the devastating truth. Nick confesses his feelings on the eve of the wedding, but will Leanne succumb?

8.00 Countrywise Kitchen Paul visits a sheep farm once owned

by Beatrix Potter. Meanwhile, Mike cooks up a lovely mutton dish and fishes for brown trout.

8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The end is in sight – but who will fall at the final hurdle in the race to be King or Queen of the Jungle? Presented by Ant and Dec. 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 FILM: The Interpreter (2005) Starring Nicole Kidman, Sean Penn, Catherine Keener, Jesper Christensen, Yvan Attal and Earl Cameron. Thriller. When a United Nations interpreter overhears a plot to assassinate the leader of an African state, a Secret Service agent is assigned to investigate.

12.55am The Zone ITV1’s place to Including features from QVC and Challenge Jackpot.

3.00 FILM: The Life Of David Gale (2003) 5.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Bart reluctantly becomes best friends with former nemesis Nelson.

6.30 Hollyoaks The day of Steph’s funeral arrives.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.25 4thought.tv Religious and ethical issues.

7.30 Freaks Of Nature A profile of some of Britain’s elite paralympic athletes.

8.00 Come Dine With Me UFOspotter Jo Jo Smith, agony aunt Janet Gershlick, sales director Paul Emery and department store owner Jim Godfrey battle it out.

9.00 The Event A furious President Martinez demands answers from his Director of National Intelligence about the recent security failures.

10.00 Peep Show Sitcom.

10.30 Robert’s Web An alternative take on the week’s online news.

11.05 Frankie Boyle’s Tremadol Nights Stand-up with sketches.

11.40 The Morgana Show Character-based sketch show.

12.10am MUSIC ON 4: Adele: Video Exclusive Adele’s new single.

12.15 MUSIC ON 4: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 12.30 MUSIC ON 4: Live At Russian Standard Originals 1.00 MUSIC ON 4: On Track With Seat 1.15 FILM: Pushing Tin (1999) 3.25 King Of The Hill 3.45 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 5.35 Countdown

6.00 Home And Away Irene contacts Gypsy to fill her in on the latest developments, but is horrified to learn that Will has been lying about the reason for their break-up.

6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Fifth Gear Jonny and Ben perform a two-wheel driving stunt and Vicki puts a radical new four-door Mini through its paces.

8.00 White Van Man Bob and Pete go rabbit hunting.

9.00 The Mentalist When Jane is kidnapped, Lisbon and the team delve into the past in the hope of finding a suspect.

10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit The discovery of a dead stranger in an affluent couple’s flat leads Benson and Stabler to uncover a wild teenage party scene that ends up claiming two more lives.

10.55 CSI: Miami The CSI team arrives at the scene after a woman dies in a road accident. However, she is not the only fatality at the scene.

11.55 Cops In Crisis Documentary series.

12.15am SuperCasino Visit www.SuperCasino.com 4.00 Motorsport Mundial 4.25 Your Sport 4.30 Street Market Chefs 4.55 Rough Guide To Eco Escapes 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 10.00 The Rugby Club 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL 1.30 FEI Equestrian World 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 Ringside 4.00 NFL – Total Access 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes 6.00 Tight Lines 7.00 LIVE World Cup Of Darts 11.00 World Sport 11.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 12.00am Elite League Ice Hockey 1.00 Premiership Rugby Union 2.00 NFL – Total Access 3.00 NFL 4.30 Premiership Rugby Union 5.30 World Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE: Raw 9.00 LIVE Golf 2.30pm Spirit Of Yachting 3.00 WWE: Raw 6.00 Spirit Of Yachting 6.30 LIVE LPGA Tour Golf 9.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 12.00am Golf 1.30 Golfing World 2.30 Tight Lines 3.30 Golf 5.00 Golfing World

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.00pm X-Weighted 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 Oops TV 9.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 10.00 House 11.00 Stargate Universe 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Dom Joly’s Happy Hour

7.45 Doctor Who 8.30 Freak Like Me 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 9.30 Coming Of Age See highlights 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Russell Howard’s Good News 12.45 How Not To Live Your Life 1.15 Coming Of Age 1.45 Freak Like Me

7.00pm News 7.30 Opera Italia 8.30 The Highland Sessions 9.00 Arena: Dave Brubeck - In His Own Sweet Way 10.30 Krautrock: The Rebirth Of Germany 11.30 Quincy Jones: The Many Lives Of Q (x2) 1.30am Originals: Dinah Washington - Evil Gal Blues 2.30 Arena: Dave Brubeck In His Own Sweet Way

12.00pm Coronation Street 12.30 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x2) 5.30 The X Factor (x2) 8.30 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 9.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: The Jacket (2005) 1.05am Coronation Street

11.35am On The Buses 12.05pm Wycliffe 1.10 Heartbeat 2.10 Ballykissangel 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Lewis 11.10 FILM: In The Name Of The Father (1993) 1.35am Cadfael

12.10pm Veronica Mars 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.35 Being Erica 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Wife Swap 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 How To Look Good Naked

2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Grand Designs Abroad 10.00 FILM: A History Of Violence (2005) 12.00am Heroes Of Comedy

11.00am The Cross Of Lorraine (1943) 12.45pm The Way Ahead (1944) 3.00 The Emperor’s New Clothes (2001) 5.05 The Valley Of Gwangi (1969) 6.55 Another Stakeout (1993) 9.00 In Bruges (2008) 11.10 Final Destination 3 (2006) 12.55am Talk To Her (2002) 3.20 Close

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035_LS503_TV_Sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 25/11/2010 15:07 Page 1

saturday 4 Merlin BBC1, 7.40pm You’ve never had it so good! At least that’s what tyrant Queen Morgana must be thinking as the innocent folk of Camelot quake in her shadow. With an immortal army to hand she’s pretty unstoppable. Unfortunately brave Arthur hasn’t got his thinking head on and is determined to save all. Come on Merlin!

The X Factor ITV1, 7.40pm Six acts left but still over an hour and a half of show. What to do?

Well, from now on each act will be singing two songs per show.

Superb! As if they didn’t already look like they were about to melt into a pool of scaredy when they step out onto the stage. Judges Simon, Dannii, Cheryl and snipey smiley Louis will be on hand too.

Ugly Betty E4, 6.30pm How they grow up so fast! Betty’s an editor, Justin’s at acting school – yup, just started and love-ing-it. He’s even got some new pals to practise lines with.

Unfortunately it’s not long before he finds himself in an unexpected triangle with the lovely Austin and Lily. Woe! And Betty drops by class and meets a cool writer.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Nigella Kitchen 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Freddie Flintoff: Ashes Warrior 1.40 Snooker: UK Championship 4.30 Final Score 5.20 BBC News 5.30 South East Today 5.40 Walk On The Wild Side

6.00am Children’s television 8.00 M.I. High 8.30 Mission: 2110 9.00 Live ‘n’ Deadly 10.00 Little Howard’s Big Question 10.20 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.50 Dennis & Gnasher 11.00 ROY 11.30 The Big Performance 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 Teensville: Teenage Witches 12.50 Popatron 1.20 The 5.19 Show 1.35 The Season 2.05 Revealed 2.20 FILM: Land Of The Pharaohs (1955) 4.00 Flog It! 4.30 Snooker: UK Championship 5.55 At Home With The Georgians

6.00 – 10.00am Children’s television 10.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 11.25 ITV News & Weather 11.30 This Morning: Saturday 12.25pm All New You’ve Been Framed! 12.55 All New You’ve Been Framed! 1.25 FILM: The Great Outdoors (1988) 3.05 FILM: Mrs Doubtfire (1993) 5.20 Meridian News And Weather 5.30 ITV News & Weather 5.45 New Britain Does The Funniest Things

6.20am Sali Mali 6.25 The Treacle People 6.35 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 World Sport 7.25 Extreme Sailing Series 2010 7.55 The Morning Line 8.50 One Tree Hill 9.50 Ugly Betty 10.50 Koko Pop With Vision Express 11.20 Friends 11.55 The 4Music Video Honours: Top 20 12.50pm Scrubs 1.25 Scrubs 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 3.50 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4.20 Come Dine With Me 4.55 Come Dine With Me 5.25 Come Dine With Me 5.55 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Little Princess 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.35 Play!

8.45 Castle Farm 8.55 Olivia 9.10 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 George Shrinks 10.00 Great Ethiopian Run 11.00 Europa League Football Highlights 12.05pm Your Sport 12.10 The Gadget Show 1.10 FILM: Cahill: US Marshal (1973) 3.10 FILM: The Shootist (1976) 5.10 Five News 5.15 FILM: Ice Age (2002)

6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 LIVE Golf 2.00pm LIVE International Rugby Union 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 To Be Announced 11.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 11.30 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

6.55 Making Scotland’s Landscape A landmark series in which he reveals how Scotland’s unique and beautiful landscape has been shaped over the centuries.

7.55 Dad’s Army Classic sitcom.

8.25 American Dream The final part of this exploration of the American dream looks at the role faith has played in American notions of a new world – from traditional religion to cults to the beliefs of the counterculture.

9.25 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Lee Mack and guest panellists including Ken Livingstone.

10.10 QI XL Stephen Fry asks unanswerable questions about highs and lows, with Sandi Toksvig, Fred McAulay, Rob Brydon and Alan Davies.

10.55 The Stephen K Amos Show Series featuring stand-up comedy, sketches and guests.

11.25 FILM: Frozen River (2008) Starring Melissa Leo, Misty Upham, Charlie McDermott. Oscar-nominated drama. Deserted by her husband, with Christmas coming and two sons to provide for, Ray Eddy is drawn to a smuggling scheme.

12.55am Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights 1.45 Snooker: UK Championship – Extra

6.40 All New You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill presents more of the funniest home footage filmed by viewers.

7.10 Harry Hill’s Best Of TV Burp Strap in for another rollicking ride through Burps past, as big-collared telly critic Harry Hill presents more of the funniest moments from previous series. Can you remember the plots?

7.40 The X Factor See highlights.

9.25 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec present the final of the jungle challenge. The celebrities have survived the Bushtucker Trials, jungle life and their fellow contestants.

10.25 This Is Michael Buble As if you could lose him! Superstar singer Michael Buble gets out from behind the lights and microphone to explore and celebrate the UK during his latest tour. British table tennis stars pop backstage to give Michael some tips in Sheffield, he takes to the ice with the Nottingham Panthers hockey team and he indulges his love of curry in Birmingham.

11.25 ITV News; Weather 11.40 Simply Red: For The Last Time Christine Bleakley presents a TV special for all fans. Good time to re-release ‘Money’s Too Tight To Mention’?

12.40am The Zone 2.40 Surface 3.25 Sons & Daughters 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.20 Come Dine With Me The competition in Sunderland concludes with Roy Ledger, who is preparing a full festive dinner at the height of summer. Baggsy a cracker!

6.50 The Political Slot 6.55 Channel 4 News 7.20 4thought.tv 7.25 Grand Designs Kevin pays a return visit to Mark and Debbie, who moved to the Lot region of France to build an ecological home using straw bales. Did they learn nothing from the tragedy of the three brothers’ Pig? 8.25 Apocalypse: The Second World War This episode looks at the D-Day landings and the liberation of Paris, while in the east the Soviets liberate Auschwitz.

9.25 FILM: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) Starring Dev Patel, Mia Drake, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor and Irfan Khan. Multi-Oscar-winning film about a Mumbai teenager who is tortured by police after being accused of cheating on a popular TV game show.

As the interrogation continues, the 18-year-old reveals his life story.

11.45 FILM: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) Starring Chow Yun-Fat, Michelle Yeoh, Zhang Yi. Multi-award-winning, epic romantic adventure set in early 19thcentury China.

1.55am FILM: Enemy At The Gates (2001) 4.05 The OC (x2) 5.35 Countdown

6.55 The Mentalist Repeat of Friday’s episode.

7.40 NCIS Drama series. The prime suspect for the murder of a marine on a college campus is also found dead, leading the team to believe that both were involved in a deadly game.

8.30 CSI: Miami Crime drama. A cruise ship docked in Miami is the scene of a double murder. The team investigates the long list of potential suspects and soon discovers a large amount of money is missing.

9.30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A mother whose husband and kids disappeared several years earlier becomes a new suspect in the investigation. But will Brass’s friendship with the woman stand in the way of a resolution?

10.30 CSI: NY Drama series. Mac and Stella try to tie popular illusionist Luke Blade to a string of magic trickinspired murders. Meanwhile, Danny goes to Montana to support Lindsay as she testifies against the man who murdered her friends.

11.30 Forensic Files Documentary series examining the application of modern technological advances in crime-fighting.

12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Fifth Gear 4.25 HouseBusters 4.50 Your Sport 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.10 The Impressions Show With Culshaw And Stephenson Sketch show featuring impressionists Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson.

6.40 Strictly Come Dancing Bruce Forsyth and Tess Daly host a movie night special, as the six remaining stars try to put on Oscar-winning performances. The quarter finals have arrived, and the couples once again dance for judges’ scores and viewer votes. Voting lines open at the end of the show. Cha cha cha!

7.40 Merlin See highlights.

8.25 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 8.40 Casualty Medical drama series.

Ruth takes revenge on Zoe by revealing to her that she is the doctor with the highest mortality rates in the ED, causing Zoe to doubt herself.

9.30 The Armstrong And Miller Show Sketch show starring Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller, featuring the Exciting Chefs, a confusing Home Secretary, and the story of how the British really won the war.

10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the day’s seven Premier League matches.

11.40 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin presents highlights from all three divisions of the Football League.

1.00am Weatherview 1.05 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 IEX Magazine 7.00 Take It Like A Fan 7.30 Time Of Our Lives 8.30 Football League Weekend 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Take It Like A Fan 12.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes 4.00 World Sport 4.30 Take It Like A Fan 5.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x4) 4.15 Golf 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Premiership Rugby Union 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 NFL - America’s Game 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 WWE Smackdown 1.00pm LIVE World Cup Of Darts 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 7.00 LIVE World Cup Of Darts 11.00 Ultimate Fighter 12.00am Ultimate Fighter 1.00 Ultimate Fighter 2.00 Live Ultimate Fighter Finale 5.00 IEX Magazine 5.30 Snow Ride

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

2.00pm Modern Family (x2) 3.00 Fat Families: Second Helpings 4.00 The Real A & E 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 11.40 Fringe 12.40am Simply Red: Stars - Classic Albums 1.45 Surviving: Peter Sutcliffe

7.00pm EastEnders: The Greatest Weddings 7.10 Top Gear 8.15 Great Movie Mistakes 9.10 FILM: Scary Movie 4 (2006) 10.25 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11.10 Family Guy (x2) 11.55 American Dad! (x2) 12.40am FILM: Con Air (1997) 2.30 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 3.15 Great Movie Mistakes

7.00pm Life 8.00 Choir Of The Year 2010 9.30 Corrie: The Road To Coronation Street 10.45 Mad Men 11.30 Getting On 12.00am Al Murray’s German Adventure 1.00 Corrie: The Road To Coronation Street 2.20 Choir Of The Year 2010 5.30 Close

4.45pm The Xtra Factor 6.00 FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 7.40 Holiday Homes From Hell 8.40 Grimefighters 9.10 Russell Brand: The Hot Desk 9.25 The Xtra Factor 10.25 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.25 FILM: Ocean’s Twelve (2004) 1.55am Harry Hill’s Best Of TV Burp 2.25 The X Factor

9.30am Goodnight Sweetheart 10.05 Upstairs, Downstairs 11.20 FILM: Tea With Mussolini (1999) 1.40pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 4.55 Monk 5.50 Inspector Morse 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Wire In The Blood 11.00 Cracker 12.05am Swingtown 1.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

1.25pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.00 Make It Or Break It 4.55 Friends (x3) 6.30 Ugly Betty. See highlights.

7.25 The Big Bang Theory 7.50 Friends (x3) 9.25 50 Greatest Plastic Surgery Shockers 11.35 Scrubs (x2) 12.35am Supernanny US (x3) 2.40 Make It Or Break It 3.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x2) 11.35 FILM: Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 1.20pm Grand Designs (x5) 6.55 Jamie At Home Christmas Special 7.55 Jamie At Home 8.25 The Duchess Of Malfi 9.25 Engineering Ancient Egypt 11.35 The Minoans 1.40am Jamie At Home Christmas Special

11.00am Merrill’s Marauders (1962) 12.50pm Star Trek Special 1.00 Star Trek III: The Search For Spock (1984) 3.00 The Band Wagon (1953) 5.10 Ladies In Lavender (2004) 7.10 The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) 9.00 Jumper (2008) 10.45 Aliens Vs Predator – Requiem (2007) 12.35am Day Watch (2006)

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036_LS503_TV_Sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 26/11/2010 11:08 Page 1

sunday 5 Strictly Come Dancing Results BBC1, 7.30pm The semi finals are only a week away and the six remaining star dancers are all crossing everything their newly limber bodies can manage, in order to stay in the competition. Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman are on hand to announce the lowest score and who’s for the chop.

Operation Mincemeat BBC2, 9pm An incredible story, shrouded in secrecy for over 60 years, told by Ben Macintyre in this documentary based on his bestselling book, of how one Allies team headed by Ian Fleming (Yes! That Ian Fleming!) hatched a plan to fool the Fuhrer and take Sicily using a tramp and some forgery. Incredible.

Life Unexpected E4, 7pm Talk about themes repeating through families... As Cate’s about to get married she decides to ‘get away’ with Lux on a road trip on a search to find her own father, who disappeared when she was a girl. No commitment issues being demonstrated or passed on here, then. No wonder Lux hangs onto Bug so tightly.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Fern Britton Meets...

11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 1.45 EastEnders 3.45 Drop Zone 4.45 Points Of View 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00 Jimmy’s Food Factory Repeat of Wednesday ‘s show.

6.30 Countryfile Rural affairs programme. Matt Baker and Ellie Harrison visit Manifold Valley in Derbyshire, where Matt cleans up a cave in the name of conservation and Ellie becomes the human quarry for a pack of hunting dogs.

7.30 Strictly Come Dancing Results See highlights.

8.00 Antiques Roadshow The team of experts head to Derbyshire.

9.00 Garrow’s Law Drama set in the late 18th century. Garrow finds himself in the dock, accused by Sir Arthur Hill of ‘criminal conversation’ of adultery with his wife Sarah. The evidence against him is a combination of half truths, invention and lies - but with a moralistic judge and a censorious public, mere truth may not be enough.

10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 The Impressions Show With Culshaw And Stephenson Comedy sketch show.

10.55 The Apprentice Repeat of Wednesday’s show.

11.55 The Sky At Night Ursa Major, the Great Bear, is a rich source of galaxies.

12.15am Weatherview 12.20 Sign Zone: Coast 1.20 Holby City 2.20 Who Do You Think You Are? 3.05 Secret Iraq 4.05 BBC News

BBC2

6.00am The Pingu Show 6.15 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 6.25 Penelope 6.30 Guess With Jess 6.40 Postman Pat 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Muddle Earth 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 Bear Behaving Badly 8.00 Scoop 8.25 Hotel Trubble 9.00 Deadly 60 9.30 Horrible Histories 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Flog It! 12.15pm FILM: Summer Magic (1963) 2.00 Snooker: UK Championship 5.30 Lambing Live: Kate’s Year With The Beavans

6.30 FILM: Dad’s Army (1971) Starring Arthur Lowe, John Le Mesurier, John Laurie, James Beck, Clive Dunn, Arnold Ridley, Ian Lavender, Liz Fraser, Bernard Archard, Derek Newark, Bill Pertwee and Frank Williams. Feature-length version of the classic sitcom about the Home Guard unit of a small seaside town.

8.00 Jeremy Clarkson: Greatest Raid Of All Time Jeremy Clarkson tells the story of what has been called ‘the original Mission Impossible’ – the audacious commando raid on the German occupied dry dock at St Nazaire in France on March 28th 1942.

9.00 Operation Mincemeat See highlights.

10.00 The Trip Repeat of Monday’s show.

10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Colin Murray presents highlights of the day’s two Premier League matches and a round-up of the rest of the weekend’s action.

11.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz.

Team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest presenter Tim Westwood and panellists JLS, Holly Walsh, Russell Watson and Wiley.

12.00am Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights 12.50 Snooker: UK Championship – Extra 2.50 BBC News

ITV1

6.00am Boblins 6.15 Boblins 6.25 Boblins 6.35 Fluffy Gardens 6.45 Dora’s Big Birthday Adventure Part Two 7.10 Bookaboo 7.25 Monk 7.30 Jimmy Two Shoes 7.45 Back At The Barnyard 7.55 Shaggy & ScoobyDoo: Get A Clue! 8.20 Phineas And Ferb 8.40 Phineas And Ferb 9.00 The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody 9.25 Finger Tips 9.45 The X Factor 11.30 This Morning: Sunday 12.35pm ITV News & Weather 12.50 Coronation Street Omnibus 3.15 Midsomer Murders 5.15 Stars On The Street 6.15 Meridian News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 6.45 Harry Hill’s Best Of TV Burp Repeat of Saturday’s show.

7.15 All Star Family Fortunes Under the watchful eye of host Vernon Kay, the families of actress and model Jennifer Ellison and former world boxing champion Joe Calzaghe compete in a bid to win up to £30,000 for their chosen charities.

8.00 The X Factor Britain has been voting over the last 24 hours and now the semi-finalists find out the result of the public vote. Tears on the horizon. Will it be your favourite?

9.00 The Nation’s Favourite Abba Song This special programmme celebrates Abba’s amazing catalogue of hits and reveals the stories behind them. The group had 25 singles in the British charts, nine of them number ones – but which of these three minute bursts of pop perfection does the nation love the most? Abba members and celeb fans discuss it.

10.30 ITV News & Weather 10.45 FILM: Magicians (2007) Starring David Mitchell, Robert Webb, Peter Capaldi, Jessica Hynes.

Comedy from the makers of the sitcom Peep Show. Universally panned though.

12.25am Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership 1.10 The Zone 2.00 Motorsport UK 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.20am Sali Mali 6.25 The Treacle People 6.35 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Freeze Festival 2010 7.50 Freesports On 4 8.20 Sony Ericsson B-Boy World Series 8.50 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.20 Live And Lost With Blackberry 11.35 Ugly Betty 12.35pm Cheryl Cole: T4 Special 12.55 The Album Chart Show With Tesco Entertainment: N-Dubz Special 1.30 The Simpsons 2.05 The Simpsons 2.35 FILM: Nine Months (1995) 4.35 Deal Or No Deal 5.25 FILM: Fred Claus (2007)

7.30 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Undercover Boss USA Bill Carstanjen is the chief operating officer of a company that owns America’s most famous horse tracks.

Bill goes on a life-changing journey in which he learns that people, not profits, are the true bottom line.

9.00 Any Human Heart Drama series about a writer’s eventful life which spans the 20th century. Logan finds success in the art world of New York where he is remarried to Allanah but in London he starts an affair with the mesmeric red head Gloria and starts to drink heavily.

10.30 Desperate Housewives Quirky comedy drama series.

Thanksgiving on Wisteria Lane finds Gabrielle and Carlos hosting Carmen, Hector and Grace, but they discover some surprising news that could threaten their time with Grace. Bree invites Keith’s parents to Thanksgiving at her house and learns some family secrets, while Susan clashes with Lynette over her sleep training techniques for Paige. Place yer bets – which says ‘let her wail’?

11.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show.

12.20am The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 1.15 American Football Live 4.45 Ironman UK 5.15 Grudge Match 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Little Princess 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.35 Family!

8.45 Castle Farm 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 George Shrinks 10.00 ICarly 10.35 True Jackson, VP 11.10 Your Sport 11.15 Street Market Chefs 11.45 Emergency Bikers 12.45pm Extreme Fishing With Robson Green 1.50 FILM: Baby Geniuses (1999) 3.35 FILM: Cats And Dogs (2001) 5.15 Five News 5.25 FILM: Firefox (1982) 8.00 Bermuda Triangle: The Mystery Revealed Revealing documentary following scientists as they embark upon a world-first dangerous expedition beneath the sea to uncover the secrets of the notorious Bermuda Triangle. Laden with sonars and satellite surveys, the divers attempt to investigate the triangle from the bottom up, and make some startling discoveries.

9.00 FILM: XXx2: The Next Level (2005) Starring Ice Cube, Samuel L Jackson, Willem Dafoe, Peter Strauss and Xzibit. Action movie sequel. An internal military threat to overthrow the government leads US intelligence to recruit a dangerous renegade from the ghetto to be the new agent XXX. 11.05 FILM: The Art Of War (2000) Starring Wesley Snipes, Anne Archer, Donald Sutherland, Michael Biehn.

Action adventure. When the Chinese ambassador to the US is assassinated during vital trade talks between the two countries, a spy who is assigned to find the killer becomes the main suspect himself.

He teams up with a UN interpreter in order to track down a recording of the assassination and prove his innocence. That’s initiative!

1.15am SuperCasino 4.00 HouseBusters (x2) 4.50 Your Sport 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 World Sport 8.30 Take It Like A Fan 9.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 LIVE Spanish Football (x2) 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

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12.30pm Super Nurses 1.00 Dog Squad 1.30 Modern Family (x3) 3.00 Fat Families: Second Helpings 4.00 The Real A & E 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Wayne Rooney’s Street Striker 3 8.00 The Simpsons 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Bones 10.00 House 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Night Cops

7.00pm Freak Like Me 7.30 Sherlock 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 How Not To Live Your Life 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Gavin And Stacey 12.00am How Not To Live Your Life 12.30 Being Human (x2) 2.25 FILM: Scary Movie 4 (2006) 3.40 Young Plumber Of The Year 4.40 Freak Like Me

7.00pm Time To Remember 7.30 How Earth Made Us 8.30 Masterpieces Of Vienna 9.00 Stephen Fry: Wagner And Me 10.30 FILM: The Chaser (2008) 12.30am How Earth Made Us 1.30 The Art Of Germany 2.30 Stephen Fry: Wagner And Me 4.00 Time To Remember 5.30 Close

12.30pm Harry Hill’s Best Of TV Burp 1.05 All New You’ve Been Framed! 1.35 FILM: Richie Rich (1994) 3.30 FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 5.15 FILM: Apollo 13 (1995) 8.00 The Vampire Diaries 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 Kerry Katona Coming Clean 11.30 FILM: Ocean’s Thirteen (2007) 1.50am The X Factor

1.05pm Kavanagh QC 2.45 FILM: Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 5.40 The Darling Buds Of May (x2) 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Single-Handed 11.10 FILM: In The Name Of The Father (1993) 1.40am FILM: Nora Roberts: Northern Lights (2008) 3.15 Drama Trails 3.25 Film File

1.30pm How To Look Good Naked (x2) 3.05 FILM: Just My Luck (2006) 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 Life Unexpected. See highlights.

7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Failure To Launch (2006) 10.55 Rude Tube 11.55 FILM: Dying Young (1991) 2.10am Supernanny US 2.55 How To Look Good Naked

4.40pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Harry Hill Booked: Stars Of The Galaxy National Book Awards 8.00 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals (x2) 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.05 Father Ted 10.40 The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret 11.05 Hung 11.40 Black Books 12.15am The IT Crowd

11.00am From Hell To Texas (1958) 1.00pm Sister Act (1992) 3.00 The Courage Of Lassie (1946) 4.45 Kim (1950) 6.55 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 Hitman (2007) 10.50 Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny (2006) 12.40am Nil By Mouth (1997) 3.10 Mike Leigh Special 3.25 Close

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monday 6 The Trip BBC2, 10pm This very successful series of double-headed meals between Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, playing distorted versions of themselves, sees them visit Bolton Abbey and eat brekkie at The Angel at Hetton. Yum! Then back to London. Boo. Via Steve’s parents’ house. Oooh! This’ll be a gem of a reveal, just wait.

The Day John Lennon Died ITV1, 10.35pm Marking the 30th anniversary of John Lennon’s death on December 8th, 1980, this film retraces his steps on his final day. His last radio interview, the photo taken by a fan of John with his killer, the doctor who battled to save him – all of it. Including interviews with Yoko Ono and examining the after effects too.

Misfits E4, 11.05pm Crikey, the ASBO anti-heroes are getting less remarkable by the day as another ‘gifted’ person enters their sphere – Ollie, a teleporting environmentalist.

Who’s special now, eh? Kelly’s not feeling quite so important as she’s held hostage and the gang have to turn to the masked man for help.

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Horrible Histories 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 Hotel Trubble 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 LazyTown 8.55 Big Barn Farm 9.05 Buzz And Tell 9.10 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.25 The Large Family 9.40 Toddworld 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Film 2010 With Claudia Winkleman 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Snooker: UK Championship 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.10pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.45 Austin Stevens Adventures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Avalanche Express (1979) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Ford Football Special 9.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Premiership Rugby Union 12.00pm Ford Football Special 1.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 Netbusters 7.00 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 10.30 Netbusters 11.00 A League Of Their Own 11.30 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Regional programme 8.00 EastEnders Ryan and Stacey enjoy a risky rendezvous back at the Slaters’. What about scarey wifey?

8.30 Addicted To Games?

Panorama As pester power kicks in and the computer games’ industry launches its latest products on to the Christmas market, Panorama hears from youngsters who’ve dropped out of school and university to play games for up to 21 hours a day.

9.00 Accused Drama. Liam, a taxi driver, stands accused of a terrible crime. As he begins the long walk back to the courtroom to hear the jury’s verdict we see the obsession that led him to this crime of passion.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz.

11.05 Inside Sport: The Marion Jones Story Gabby Logan meets the one-time fastest woman in the world, Marion Jones, in a rare one-on-one television interview.

11.35 The Graham Norton Show Anarchic talk show.

12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: The Apprentice 1.30 Masterchef: The Professionals 2.55 The Story Of Science: Power, Proof And Passion 3.55 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia chats exclusively to the latest eliminated couple.

7.00 Snooker: UK Championship Rishi Persad introduces live coverage as second-round matches get underway in Telford.

8.00 University Challenge In another second round match, Downing College, Cambridge plays Magdalen College, Oxford, for a place in the quarter finals. Fight!

8.30 Miranda Sitcom. Miranda and Stevie compete to be best friends with the new waitress at the restaurant, Tamara. The trouble is Tamara is 22 and they both find keeping up with an energetic 20 something surprisingly tiring.

9.00 Ian Hislop’s Age Of The Do-Gooders Ian Hislop continues his celebration of the dynamic and eccentric Victorian reformers who brought about the most remarkable period of social change in British history.

10.00 The Trip See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis.

11.20 Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights Highlights, innit?

12.10am Snooker: UK Championship – Extra 2.10 News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Moira is worried about the rift between her and John.

7.30 Coronation Street Tyrone’s heart is broken when Molly makes a shocking confession.

8.00 Coronation Street: The Historic First Episode Another chance to see where 50 years of TV history began with the very first episode of Coronation Street, originally broadcast on 9th December 1960. Kenneth Barlow clashes with his father Frank. Rebel Ken. 8.30 Coronation Street Stag night fun turns to terror when a mighty explosion rips through The Joinery.

9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Coming Out Cameras capture the celebrities’ first moments outside the jungle and follow them as they journey back to the real world.

After a tough time in camp, how will the celebrities react when they are reunited with their friends and families for the first time?

10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Day John Lennon Died See highlights.

11.35 Kings Of Leon: Excess All Areas Dave Berry spends 48 hours with American rockers Kings of Leon.

12.30am The Zone 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.10am Sali Mali 6.15 The Treacle People 6.25 Planet Cook 6.45 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.10 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.35 Frasier 9.10 According To Jim 9.40 Friends 10.10 One Tree Hill 11.05 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News 12.05 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2010 12.10 Jamie At Home 12.40 Iron Chef UK 1.40 FILM: Ghosts Of Berkeley Square (1947) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal?

5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Riley mainpulates Jack into giving Mercedes a job.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Kirstie And Phil’s Perfect Christmas Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer demonstrate how to celebrate the festive season in style.

Phil looks at the top toys and gizmos.

Meanwhile, Kirstie learns how to make personalised gifts, traditional decorations and fantastic food.

9.00 Come Dine With Me: Coronation Street Special Celebrating the 50th anniversary of Corrie. Ay up! It’s actors Julie Goodyear, Ken Morley, Tupele Dorgu and Philip Middlemiss try to win £1,000 for charity.

10.00 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night Comedy quiz show with celebrity guests. Guests include Alan Carr, Mischa Barton and Rupert Everett.

10.50 Peep Show Sitcom. The object of Mark’s desires, Dobby, is going out with a graphic designer.

11.25 Being... N-Dubz At Christmas The reality series following the lives of London-based hip-hop stars N-Dubz.

12.30am MUSIC ON 4: 360 Sessions 1.00 Party Poker: Premier League Poker 2.00 FILM: The Honeymooners (2005) 3.30 FILM: Porco Rosso (1992) 5.10 Brothers And Sisters 5.50 One Tree Hill

6.00 Home And Away Bianca’s rekindled romance with Vittorio comes to a standstill when she receives a message from Liam. Liam gives her until the end of the day to decide between him and her fiance – what will Bianca do?

6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Kate Walsh and Jayne Middlemiss.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn asks how hydroelectric power is generated.

8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. In this Christmas special, the presenters hunt high and low for this year’s most desirable gifts with the help of celebrities.

9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Fishing adventure show with Robson Green. The actor heads to India, but fails to catch any of the huge fish reported to occupy the surrounding waters. Water watching.

10.00 FILM: Blade (1998) Starring Wesley Snipes, Stephen Dorff, Kris Kristofferson, N’Bushe Wright, Traci Lords. Action-packed adaptation of the popular comic-book series about a half-vampire on a mission to destroy the undead. Very ‘now’, darling!

12.25am UFC 123: Main Event 1.20 SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 International Rugby Union 10.00 Spanish Football 12.00pm World Cup Of Darts 4.00 Snow Ride 4.30 Wild Spirits 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes 6.00 NFL 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 10.00 British Rally Championship 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 SPL RoundUp 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Ford Monday Night Football 3.00 Netbusters 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Golf 12.30pm LPGA Tour Golf 2.30 International Rugby Union 3.30 This Week In WWE 4.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Spruce Meadows 8.00 Dubai Sevens Rugby 11.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE Late Night Afterburn 1.00 WWE NXT 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 British Rally Championship 5.15 Close

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12.00pm X-Weighted 1.00 Road Wars 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 Best Of Oops TV 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Dom Joly’s Happy Hour 2.40 Oops TV

7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Doctor Who 8.30 Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Enemies 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 How Not To Live Your Life 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.45am How Not To Live Your Life 1.15 Mad About The House

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Ancient Worlds 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 The Art Of Germany 10.00 Berlin 11.00 The Trouble With Pirates: Storyville 12.00am Stephen Fry: Wagner And Me 1.30 The Art Of Germany 2.30 Berlin 3.30 Julia Bradbury’s German Wanderlust 4.00 The Art Of Germany 5.30 Close

6.30pm ITV At The Movies 7.00 All New You’ve Been Framed! 7.25 Harry Hill’s Best Of TV Burp 8.00 All New You’ve Been Framed!

8.30 Grimefighters 9.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.00 Coronation Street Uncovered: Live 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am Ghosthunting With... Coronation Street

12.10pm Wycliffe 1.15 Heartbeat 2.15 Ballykissangel 3.20 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Sharpe’s Peril 10.35 Hornblower 12.40am Wycliffe 1.35 The Grand 2.25 On The Buses

1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Hollyoaks 2.40 Gilmore Girls 3.35 Being Erica 4.30 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 The IT Crowd 10.30 Pete Versus Life 11.05 Misfits.

See highlights. 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.15 The IT Crowd 1.45 Pete Versus Life 2.15 Misfits

3.25pm Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.40 Deal Or No Deal 7.30 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Grand Designs 10.05 Prince Charles’ Other Mistress 11.10 Without A Trace 12.05am Grand Designs

11.00am Siege At Red River (1954) 12.45pm Master Of Ballantrae (1953) 2.30 How To Steal A Million (1966) 4.50 Air Force (1943) 7.15 Jingle All The Way (1996) 9.00 Braveheart (1995) 12.20am Once Upon A Time In The West (1968) 3.40 Close

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