Latest Seven: Issue 432 14-20 July

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 14 – 20 July 2009

FREE WEEKLY

Well travelled Discover the charm of Castres, France

Keep on running Top nosh Vote now for the Sussex Food and Drink Awards

Saucony gets runners training in style for the Brighton Marathon page 11 Bowled over Follow every match with Sussex County Cricket Club

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Contents ★ latest upfront 5–10 4 Competitions: win VIP festival tickets 4 Social Diary: Soup launch and art 5 Seann ponders the changing weather 5 Will: should we be told what to wear?

6 Bare Cheek: Things to do at a bus stop 6 Astral Angi: sun signs not sunshine 7 Dani: the legacy of Michael Jackson 8 News: Swine flu latest and Peter Andre 9 Celeb City: Brighton’s got Bottle

★ latest lifestyle 10–15

Welcome P

★ latest listings 17–35 17 Reviews Indie, comedy, drama and gangsters

18 Stage Coming up at the Theatre Royal

09 15

19 Film Another year at Hogwarts!

20 Comedy Chatting with Steve Capurro

20 Art Sam Hicks captures the deep south

21 Kids & Events RSPCA family day; moon merriment

21 Sport Upcoming matches for Sussex Cricket

10 Travel: Fields of gold in Castres, France 11 On the cover: Saucony kits out runners

22 Music Latitude Festival; Beachdown; gigs Latest Brighton Download Chart

12 Health: The 60-day yoga challenge 13 VBites of wisdom: Heather Mills on the environmental impact of a vegan diet

14 Hotlist: work up an appetite 15 Food: vote now Sussex!

TOP

ready for the Brighton Marathon

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25 Clubs The Poundance and Torture Garden

27 Gay Places to see and be seen

28 TV Dani loves Chuck

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01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Business Director Angi Mariani

Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Sub Editors Pearl Bates Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writers Ralph Miller Dani Winch

Art Director Stephen King

Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit

Production Manager Neil Ive

Books Writer John O‘Donoghue

Advertising Director Lynne Edward Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

23 28

laces are filling fast for the 2010 Brighton Marathon.

Secure your place now and suit up for training with established running brand Saucony.

The right trainers and comfortable sports wear will make all the difference in training and for race day. Read more about the ongoing preparations for this huge city event in our exciting cover story (p11).

Still thinking about where to holiday abroad this summer? In our travel section (p10), we explore Castres in the south of France. With glorious weather and stunning fields of sunflowers, it’s not hard to see why this city has been nicknamed the Venice of the South. John Proctor Travel have some great offers for the south of France, so plan your holiday now.

A while ago we reported on readers taking part in the 60-day Bikram yoga challenge. Participants persevered and made it through with incredible results (p12). They’ve changed their lifestyle for the better. Why not see if the same can be said for you? Bikram yoga have a 10-day offer for just £10. It’s time to reap the benefits…

Over in the world of comedy, Victoria Nangle chats to funny man Steve Capurro (p20). The San Francisco comedian is blunt and witty, talking openly about being verbally abused and throwing abuse back.

His most terrifying moment on stage was right here in Brighton! Get ready for his return this week.

The Ashes are in full swing. As cricket dominates the television schedule, Andy Winter focuses on the live games from the Sussex team. They have an exciting month ahead with county championship matches and more. Get the full lowdown in Latest Sport (p21).

It’s time to vote in the Sussex Food and Drink Awards 2009/10. These awards celebrate local achievements in food and drink, so pick up a voting form and celebrate the best of Sussex. Andrew Kay presents the categories and highlights past winners (p15).

The Field Day Festival takes place in London’s Victoria Park next month and we have VIP tickets to give away. Turn to competitions for your chance to win! (p4).

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04 LATEST DIARY

In it to Latest diary win it Tim Richardson dances with hula hoops and sees money change hands

Latest Soup

▲

Win VIP Festival Tickets We have a brilliant competition for you this week. It’s festival time and we thought we might treat you Summer party people to a great prize. This week we’re giving away two VIP tickets to the Field Day Festival in London’s Victoria Park, which takes place on Saturday 1 August.

The tickets give you special access to the backstage area at the one-day Festival. The lineup at Field Day so far includes: Mogwai, Santigold (formerly known as Santogold), Little Boots, The Mystery Jets, The Horrors, Four Tet and many more. Field Day is not just about music though, and the Festival includes the Village Mentality Village Green where you can take part in a tug-ofwar, enter the lucky dip, spin the tombola wheel, smash some crockery, play with giant pick’n’mix to win sweets or have a game of Young Offenders Institute Ping-Pong.

You could also take part in the sack race or the egg and spoon race, or just sit on some hay bales eating home made cake!

Now in its third year, Field Day has established itself as one of the best small festivals in the UK and you and a friend can go for free. To be in with a chance to win VIP backstage tickets, just tell us: In which London Park does Field Day festival take place? See below for entry details. (Please note the prize does not include travel and you will have to make your own way to and from Victoria Park, London). www.fielddayfestivals.com

To win, email:

competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 20 July

Semi-Detached presents Soup at Latest Music Bar. The launch party was a melon twisting, fancy dress explosion of funk, soul, breaks and old skool hip-hop, finely blended with some badass breakdancers, live percussion and the hula hoop champion of the universe. On the decks special guest Tula was joined by residents Da Vid, Stu Bruce and Tucka.

Promoter David Brooker promised and did not disappoint: “An event with a sense of humour and character, with a non-pretentious attitude (and complimentary moustaches).”

For further information visit www.soupanyone.com or www.thelatest.co.uk/musicbar

Judy Stevens (AOH Festival Director), Chris Lord (AOH Festival Director), John Dilnot (Winner of the Festival Prize, with the winning piece), Nicola Coleby (Keeper of Exhibitions Brighton and Hove Museums), Woodrow Kernohan (Curator Permanent Gallery and The Regency Town House)

The Chosen One Selectors Choice exhibition was part of HOUSE festival – the new curated extension to Artists Open Houses that ran during May. Three respected local curators selected 20 artists from open submissions, open to all participating Open Houses artists, to take part in the show. The exhibition was held at The Regency Town House in Brunswick Square, where Andrew Comben (Brighton Festival CEO) selected the winning piece of work to be awarded the Festival Prize.

This was ‘A Home for Max Ernst’ by John Dilnot (Runner up was ceramicist, Matt Smith). The award of £500 was presented to John Dilnot at his studio at Phoenix Studios on Tuesday 16 June 2009 by Nicola Coleby, Woodrow Kernohan and HOUSE festival directors Judy Stevens and Chris Lord.

John Dilnot (Winner of the Festival Prize)

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CITY SPEAK 05

Seann he British weather, at the time of writing, has finally shed its Mediterranean pretensions. Like a friend returning from travelling in ethnic regalia and suddenly favouring green tea and sandals, it pretended to be something it wasn’t.

The clouds and rain that we know so well suddenly lost touch, as if they had better things to do than the usual routine of ruining our days. Travelling by bus was like being stuck in a microwave on wheels, an analogy made all the more real by the frequent pinging noise, followed by something overcooked departing through a door.

Now we’re back in familiar territory. After a storm appeared from nowhere, it’s all calmed down. The sky is a more comfortable grey. For today at least, we’re back with the weather we know and understand the best: it’s temperate.

But what of the recent meteorological torture? Did the elements miss the point?

Their purpose is to sustain the earth. The rain is our most reliable water supplier; the sun, our most trusted bringer of energy.

What the weather is not supposed to do is

Seann Walsh says the weather is all elemental to burn us. What's the point of weather that incapacitates you?

It seems that we’ll never accustom ourselves to the heat. In winter, we know what to do: wrap up warm and take an umbrella. Every summer, we panic: what do you do when it’s this hot? How much suntan lotion do we need? How many times a day do I have to change my shirt?

Where is all this sweat coming from? We shouldn’t ever sneer at goldfish for their five-second looping memories, for we have the same condition, only ours lasts a year.

That’s how long it takes to forget that summer is hot. That’s why, year after year, the thermometer becomes a celebrity, despite doing the same thing every time.

For much of the year, we pretty much have no weather at all: the wind gives up; the sun hides behind equally depressed clouds and snow is a thing of 80s nostalgia.

Last year I was in Edinburgh during the most rainy August recorded for 107 years.

Sometimes it wouldn’t stop for days, as if determined to turn the Scot’s capital into a lake full of floating alcoholics. I now realise what weather we like most in this country: whichever one is not happening now.

T

Will I

Will Harris reports on cultural suppression and how it’s visually represented “Just because Nicolas Sarkozy wears Cuban heels, doesn’t mean he’s not still a short man”

Phot by Flickr user: Hamed_Saber

think we’re lucky that, in Brighton, we can wear pretty much what we want. I bet I’m not the only one who’s stood, dwarfed and defeated before a Sheffield bouncer, rain lashing down, and longed wistfully for Brighton clubland’s open-door policy on trainers. But it’s more than that.

Egged on by friends and Bacardi, I once decided to dress up as a boxer before going out clubbing. My costume was improvised from boxing gloves and a silk kimono. I didn’t look like a boxer. I looked like Margot Fonteyn emerging from a lost property office. Still nobody looked.

Outside our seaside haven, though, things are changing. French President Nicolas Sarkozy recently announced that the burqa – the Islamic dress designed to cover every part of a woman save her eyes and hands – is “not welcome in France”.

Yes, that’s right; we’ve finally reached a future where our governments tell us exactly what we can and can’t wear. From Trinny and Susannah’s guano-streaked command centre in Notting Hill, the sound of champagne corks could be heard for miles around.

The problem; it’s what the burqa represents, namely the supposed Islamic

“The clouds and rain that we know so well lost touch, they had better things to do than ruin our days”

suppression of women. The trouble is, for a man in Nicolas Sarkozy’s position, use the phrase ‘Islamic suppression of women’ and you’re labelled a racist. So what do you do?

You go for an easy win by making the most visible change you can. You ban the burqa.

Madness, isn’t it? This is just an escalation of the situation where old ladies get tasered in Bluewater because they forget to put down the hood on their cagoules. It’s flawed thinking; changing the clothes a person wears doesn’t change who they are. Just because Nicolas Sarkozy wears Cuban heels, par example, doesn’t mean he’s not still a very short man.

If work is to be done, it should be done with the women forced behind the veil, giving them support to establish their identities. Banning the burqa is a diversion from this, and potentially a harmful one. I remember a girl at school whose father insisted she wore trousers, in contravention of school rules. The school stood its ground, and the next day she came in wearing a knee-length skirt, accessorised with a nasty purple bruise across her face.

Had the school won? I don’t know. But it was pretty clear who’d lost. www.twitter.com/william_tells

For comments and chit chat email: letters@thelatest.co.uk

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06 ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek

In & Out

Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

In

more things to do while waiting for the 81 bus

5

“Failed Chris Tarrant Game Shows” Edition

• Go Getters • Man O Man • Lose A Million • It’s Not What You Know • PSI

Ecomania!

Out

Bare Cheek’s expert on all matters Green, Samantha Greene, advises you on all your eco worries and woes

• The Great Pretender • The Main Event • The Colour Of Money • Everybody’s Equal • Pop The Question

Dear Samantha, Perhaps you can help to settle an argument. I am a meat-eater, whereas my wife is a vegetarian.

Which of our diets – taking into account such factors as the methane produced by livestock, the deforestation caused by soy bean growing, etc. etc. – is actually better for the environment? Please reply swiftly, as there’s a bottle of wine (organic of course!) riding on your answer.

Robert Forbes, Hove Dear Robert, Well, if it’s any help I can tell you that in 25 years to come, you and your wife will have exactly the same diet: human flesh, garnered from the weak

Astral Angi

1 Try to find something in “Snooper’s Paradise” for under £1,000.

2 Go to the top floor of the library and be gripped by the fear that you’ll stumble over the power pack of a Japanese student’s netbook and fall over the railings to your doom, thus providing the local paper with the latest in a long line of depressing or horrific sandwich board headlines.

3 Buy something from a health food shop and take it back because it’s mouldy, only to be told that it’s meant to look like that because it’s organic.

4 Get a bit excited upon spotting what you think is a local celebrity, but then, upon mature consideration, decide that it probably wasn’t a member of that big girl band urinating in the gutter after all.

5 Go to the museum just to use the bogs.

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The Bare Cheek Guide To Things You Used To Get In Adverts But Don’t Any More: Food products flirting with mums... and helpless, whose brains you will dash out with blunt, heavy objects, before returning to your makeshift shelter for a feast in the unbearable, baking heat. Hope this has been of help.

Samantha

BARDSLEY’S

This week, Astral is all hot and bothered

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).

Aries right now must take great care with personal hygiene. The warm weather can play havoc with astral aromas and you don’t want to end up smelling like an old goat do you?

Cancerians prefer things dark and cool. Sleep by day and then scuttle around by night to stay comfortable.

This is your time so make the most of the nightlife.

Librans must avoid excess during the warmer weather and especially excessive boozing. Water is the answer and lots of it, either taken internally or externally.

Capricorns should cover up well and apply factor 50 at least if they are to survive without turning purple. Purple is never a good look despite what most astrologers wear.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Taureans will fare equally dismally in hot weather and should double apply the roll-on, not aerosol please, we don’t want any more holes than are neccessary in the sky.

Leos will find it difficult to stay awake, which is not great for them but fabulous for the rest of us. Enjoy the nap Leo whilst the rest of us let sleeping lions lie.

Scorpios can be hard and brittle by nature, like the insect of the same name. Loose this trait by moisturising frequently. I find a combination of goose fat and gin works.

Aquarians do not need the sun to come out for an excuse to commune with nature. They will undress at the drop of a hat – and do. Be aware Aquarians that this may offend.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Gemini’s like it hot, which is just as well as so many of you are on a fast train to hell. Seriously though, take care, that sun can be deceptively powerful, in many ways.

Virgos will find it hard to retain their cool demeanour in the summer heat.

Go with it Virgo, shed those threads and show us some flesh. Do however remember to cover up at night.

Sagis and the sun do not go together well, think liver spots. At this time you should be tying knots in the corners of hankies and dreaming of winkles and whelks.

Oh dear, have I got this all wrong, when you said sun signs editor I thought you meant sunshine. Ah well, Pisceans take a break and go for some fish and chips with Roy and Muriel.

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

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DEFINITELY DANI 07

Dani ichael Jackson died, so did Farrah Fawcett.

These two names represent two people who personified two eras. Facebook was awash with R.I.Ps and the media immediately created films showing the stars progression through the years.

No one seemed quite able to accept that Michael Jackson had died, while Farrah managed to slip away nearly unnoticed.

Michael was perhaps such an icon that the idea of him dying was incomprehensible. Himself and his life were so fantastical and bizarre at times that it almost felt as if he was a fictional character and therefore incapable of death. Whereas Farrah Fawcett, ‘The Hairstyle’ of her time was real, she battled a real disease and lived a more realistic life. It was a strange thing to try and comprehend the news on the morning of 26 June. Waking up to find the man who my 11-year-old self had planned to marry was dead was perhaps one of the

M

Dani ponders life after death and the enduring legacies of stars of stage and screen...

strangest feelings I have experienced. I didn’t cry. I heard the news, made a few comments, and carried on with the day. The strangeness came from the fact that such a period of my childhood was influenced

by Michael Jackson. The memory of the times spent performing his music within my four walls still remains. He was almost untouchable but now that ideal has disappeared.

In one way or another Michael Jackson managed to have an impact on all of our lives. We have all danced to his music, made our own opinions

“The memory of the times spent performing his music within my four walls still remains”

Back off On a similar note, I wonder just how many men tried to use the death of Michael Jackson as a strange way to chat up girls? Do you boys really have that little of a clue? And what makes you all think that if a female is in a club with a friend she must be on the pull and that it’s okay for you to slime all over her? Newsflash – not all women are interested and just because they are having a night out it does not mean they should be subjected to second class chat up lines all evening! All those of you boys who won’t take no for an answer get a clue!

about the goings on in his life and now, when he has gone, we will all think differently about it. The world seems to work with a slight delay when it loses an idol.

But the truth is that these people will never really die, especially Michael. He created a big part of our music history and along with Farrah Fawcett, a major part of our social history. These people join others like them – Diana, Elvis, Marilyn. The sad thing is that it only took about 12 hours between the time of Michael’s death and the start of the text and email jokes. I hope the media will be respectful. With any luck all of his secrets will die with him, but unfortunately, because we are a celebrity obsessed nation I can’t see that happening.

Books will start to appear claiming to hold secrets of his life. Michael Jackson may have died but he hasn’t really gone, we will hear his voice for years to come and Farrah Fawcett will live on – her beauty and flick will be remembered.

Wedding Special To feature in our forthcoming wedding special contact Rachel on 01273 818150 ext105 or email rachelb@thelatest.co.uk

It’s a strange thing to lose someone who had a great impact on your life without actually having ever been in the same room as you – which is why, even now, I still can’t quite believe it.

Comments? Get in touch: dani@thelatest.co.uk

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08 LATEST NEWS

L7NEWS

News

Locals love Andre

Phil Mills on the support network for swine flu victims and Peter Andre welcomed in Withdean

Peter Andre is “the best newcomer one could have hoped for” according to neighbours near his new seven-bedroom home in Withdean, Brighton.

Our Latest 7 source said: “He’s been charming and friendly, and apart from the paparazzi camped outside he’s been a welcome addition to the neighbourhood – he’s clearly a loving family man and adores his children.” Southern News and Pictures captured Peter with his son Junior, four, enjoying themselves at a fete in Cowfold, Horsham.

Swine flu aid T housands of Sussex people are becoming “Flu Friends” or “Bug Buddies” to provide a network of help for victims of swine flu. The move is in response to an appeal by health chiefs for people to get prepared even though the effects of the virus have so far generally not proved serious.

Nevertheless, numbers of sufferers are continuing to grow and with only a limited number of doctors and professional carers in the community, the authorities want to enlist help of the general population. Mrs Anne Robertson, from Patcham, is one who has set up a

support network among friends and relations. She said: “We’d do shopping or collect prescriptions for each other, basic care functions, and they will do the same for me and my family if we get it.

“Happily, no one in our circle has yet, but there are anecdotal reports of some hospital staff falling victim so it shows that we’ve all got to do our bit.” As of the beginning of this month 600 cases were recorded in the South East and people with flu symptoms are now being asked not to attend their GP surgeries but to phone for advice and instructions on where and how to pick up anti-viral drugs.

Centres around Sussex have been identified to disperse drugs if and when numbers of victims begins climbing into the thousands.

Meanwhile, the West Sussex Primary Care Trust, which is leading on advice for all Sussex health organisations, urged: “Anyone suffering from flu-like symptoms should stay at home and not pick up medication themselves.”

Future plans Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears looks ahead to upcoming events Last week I attended the launch of the new Brighton Festival Corporate Strategy which sets out their plans and ambitions for the Festival for the next three years.

The Festival and Fringe is incredibly important to the city both culturally and financially – we estimate that it contributes around £20million to our local economy.

This year’s event was a huge success with over 80,000 people visiting the artistic works of the guest

artistic director, Anish Kapoor.

The Daily Telegraph, no less, described the range of events at this year’s Festival as “a dazzling line-up, which any Festival in the world might envy.” The organisers should be truly proud of their achievements and what they contribute to this city.

I also had a meeting last week with representatives of Holy Trinity Brompton, who I’m pleased to say are going to be moving into the magnificent St. Peter’s Church

“The future of this landmark city building has been in doubt”

in York Place. The future of this landmark city building has been in doubt for some time and so I’m delighted that Holy Trinity have decided to make it their home. I look forward to working with them in the future.

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7/9/09

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AROUND TOWN 09

sponsored by

Celebcity

with Jo Brooks

Jo reports on a hot new bar, sport legends and the ex-EastEnders actress spotted out and about

Brighton’s got bottle late-night bar serving beers, wines and the same delicious food menu in intimate surroundings. On Thursdays, Fridays and Saturday, Bottle’s

Here is a lovely picture of Ryan Heal, MD of Juice 107.2; Gordon Banks, 1966 World Cup winning goalkeeper; Guy Lloyd, Juice 107.2 Breakfast show and Sir Henry Cooper, British boxing legend!

The Best of British 2009 took place on Friday 3 July at The Metropole where Sir Henry Cooper and Gordon Banks were guest speakers. Former boxer Michael Watson was the guest of honour. The event raised money for local children’s sporting charity The Special Olympics of Brighton & Hove.

Juice 107.2 were the media partners for the event in which thousands of pounds was raised. The event was sponsored by local solicitors Bilmes LLP. All 250 guests enjoyed listening to these two sporting greats retell stories of their careers.

Photo: Graham Franks

Last Thursday we launched new concept café/bar Bottle in Jubilee Street in Brighton – fast becoming the most vibrant hub of the city. Nothing was better than a few glasses of chilled English wine in the hot weather and (see pic) a girl in a bottle!

Bottle (which nattily becomes Cup café in the daytime) offers an eclectic and independent range of wines and bottled beers – making it a very grown up place to drink. In the evening, Cup becomes Bottle; a

Sporting greats

resident DJ plays funky music making the venue one of the coolest hangouts in town.

Cup/Bottle is the sister café bar to Concrete, the popular Southbank venue. It has a laidback, day to night vibe that adjoins the Hayward Gallery with a view to promote local artists and residents with a blank canvas wall that will eventually be designed by a selected student from Brighton art college.

Taste of Italy Spotted having lunch with longterm friend Sue Addis, owner of D Production group of restaurants was actress Michelle Collins. Michelle was staying

with Sue while she trod the boards at the Theatre Royal as part of a national tour with play Deceptions.

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of July 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers

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7/10/09

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10 TRAVEL

L7 travel

✈

SOUTH OF FRANCE

French fancy Alison Swann basks in the sunshine in the quaint setting of Castres, France ’ve been living just outside of Toulouse in Castres. Here you can drive for miles through fields of sunflowers and get a beer and the most tasty, freshly-made pizza at a gypsy caravan at the side of the road by another sea of sunflowers.

Getting to France is quite probably easier than getting to Worthing and you are more likely to get there on time. Jump on the joy of the Eurostar at Kings Cross St Pancras and by the time you have had a little snooze as you rush through Kent you’ll be waking up at the Gare De Nord in Paris. Then your adventure begins.

Welcome to a world where the waiters still dress like René in ‘Allo ‘Allo and you can get a beer in a bakery at 10 in the morning.

France is a stubborn country, and however you choose to make your journey to visit our favourite European cousin, when you arrive you will be in no doubt that the French may well be in Europe, but they will do things their way.

The global homogenisation of the high street has barely stood a chance in the French towns and villages which are operated by the power of the Mairies office (Mister Mayor) who isn’t going to let McDonalds dump its commercial venture in the middle of its medieval high street. You can get a Big Mac – never fear – but unless you are in a big town you’ll find them secreted by the industrial state. Handy.

They did, of course, have to finally give in to the Europe-wide smoking ban, but in a country where 90 per cent of the time the sun has very much got his hat on, they don’t care about having to smoke outside. The French invented pavement dining alfresco, so really, not a lot has changed. But then it does get very hot here. In the UK, the recent hot spell caused news channels to go into a melt down. In France, they see it is a warm-up to the main event. It was already 40 degrees in some parts of the south.

With all that heat there’s oodles of places to strip off and sink into something cool. Waterparks breed and they aren’t just for the kids; the French adult has no problem spending his time zipping down a 30ft high slide.

The driving is, of course, exciting, but beware of ‘Priorite a Driote!’ This rule means that if you are happily driving along your nice little road and anyone wants to hop out from the right, they don’t have to wait for you. Yep that’s, er... right. So it is all a jolly good fun experience.

The French think differently to us. And that is what makes them such an interesting place on top of all the amazing food, endless sunshine and gorgeous countryside to visit. There’s too much to list here. Get in a car and go and explore and if you head to Lautrec you might just find the windmill that inspired Mister Toulouse-Lautrec.

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7/9/09

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COVER STORY 11

Get set, go!

Runners are fast in registering for the 2010 Brighton Marathon t’s been almost three weeks to the day since the launch of Brighton Marathon. The response to next year’s race on Sunday 18 April has been nothing short of astounding.

A steady increase in the number of entrants over this short period has reinforced the organisers’ belief that the race will become Brighton’s premier event on the sporting calendar.

Any fears were quashed – in the first 24 hours, in fact – which saw over 1300 people entering the event. With almost 4,000 individual entries snapped up and well over half of the 3000 charity places taken, the event is almost half full with more entries pouring in every day.

If this trend continues, the marathon will be at its limit of 12,000 runners before the

I

Tom Naylor - GEC Tim Hutchings - GEC Sally Gunnell OBE Lady Mayor Ann Norman Photographs: Tim Richardson

summer is out. That would make the Brighton Marathon one of the largest inaugural marathon events in UK running history.

The juggernaut that is the Brighton Marathon is now delighted to announce Saucony as their major sportswear sponsor.

Based in Portsmouth, Saucony are the UK’s fastest growing running brand, with shoes available at both RUN in Hove, and The Jog Shop in Kemp Town. With a heritage stretching back over a century in footwear manufacture, a wealth of knowledge in running clothing as well as in modern running shoe needs has been built up and the Brighton Marathon team are delighted to have a genuine running brand, and a market leader, on board.

Andrew Sainsbury, Managing Director of Saucony said: ”It’s fantastic for Saucony to be aligned with the Brighton Marathon. Upon seeing the community enthusiasm and reaction I feel it will be a roaring success. Brighton is a fantastic city with a wealth of culture and diversity, and the residents have already taken the marathon to heart.

What’s more, the city is blessed with two great running specialist shops, RUN and The Jog Shop.

These stores are established centres who offer sound advice to all, be they experienced club runners or those entering the Brighton Marathon as first timers.

Anybody requiring kit, running shoes or general tips on how to get started will find these stores an invaluable resource.”

Jonathan Quint, head of marketing for the Saucony

brand added: “We’ve been talking to the event organisers for nearly two years now, so to see such a response already is complete vindication of the skill and determination of the team.”

Race director Tim Hutchings commented: ”We are obviously delighted to have a brand as deeply embedded in running as Saucony on board. And the response from the city in regard to entries has been phenomenal. A high proportion of the entries taken so far are from Brighton and Hove itself, ensuring great support on the route. And we’ve hardly started to market the event further afield yet.

To those already entered, I would say keep checking www.brightonmarathon.co.uk as we shall be adding advice on training, diet, lifestyle – and injury prevention – in coming weeks.”

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12 HEALTH

60-day challenge Denise Evans on the outcome of the 60-day Bikram yoga challenge few months back in Latest 7, we reported on the participants taking part in the ultimate Bikram yoga 60-day challenge.

Bikram ‘hot’ yoga works your whole body, balances your mind and is guaranteed to make you feel good all summer long.

Participants took part in the challenge for various personal reasons, including recovery from injury, to reduce stress, lose weight and improve general wellbeing.

Adam Khan has just completed an incredible 61 classes in 60 days! He said: “It’s a gift – we are living in a time when we are gathering so many collective wisdoms from all over the world – I’m so lucky to have this on my doorstep in Brighton.”

Adam is a web designer who took up Bikram yoga to challenge his sedentary lifestyle – his digestion and muscle tone have improved, he’s stopped smoking, and feels “zingy and zesty! – everything you do benefits from having more energy.”

Glen suffered near-fatal injuries when he was run over as a child.

He experiences severe and constant pain. He completed 19 classes in 30 days, saying: “The benefits are massive – my body is stronger and it’s easier to cope with the pain.”

Congratulations also go out to Michelle who completed 34 days of Bikram yoga, and to Clare who completed 40 days and found it to be the best stress-buster while preparing for her wedding.

These participants have truly realised the benefit of this form of yoga. Try it for yourself and change your lifestyle for the better.

Give your body what it needs: as a special summer introductory offer, Bikram yoga in Portslade are offering 10 classes in 10 days for just £10. This is a fantastic saving and lets you see for yourself the benefits of Bikram yoga. Take up the 10-day challenge today!

Bikram Yoga Studio, Olugbenga House, 26-28 Franklin Road, Portslade, BN41 1AF (two minutes walk from Portslade train station). Full disabled access.

Tel: 01273 420279. More details on www.bikramyogabrighton.com The new summer timetable begins this week.

A

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7/10/09

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HEATHER MILLS 13

VBites

Heather Mills says turning

of wisdom ’m not ashamed of the fact I used to love the taste of fish and meat. I even wore a fur, a gift my mother left me when she died, when I was young and unaware of the cruelty involved in this fashion. Once I was educated about the realities of animal cruelty, intensive farming methods and its environmental impact, I made the decision to change my diet.

In some ways it was easier for me as my eyes were opened to the benefits of a plant based diet in 1993. Changing my diet helped to heal an infection in my amputated limb where antibiotics had failed. My health and energy levels improved so rapidly that it wasn’t difficult to make the change to a vegan diet a permanent one.

The global environmental impact of the meat and dairy industry is not something that is reported widely. One thing people seem to remember is the fact that cows belching methane is a major contributory factor to global warming and many feel this too ridiculous to be true. Farts have always been funny and the idea that farts are one of the major causes of global warming is a bit of a rib tickler for some.

I

vegan can help reduce environmental impact “1.3 billion cows need a hell of a lot of pasture to graze on”

1.3 billion cows need a hell of a lot of pasture to graze on. 80 per cent of the cut down Amazon Rainforest is now used as pasture land for cattle. Animals reared for meat are fattened up fast on a high protein diet. In order to grow such massive quantities of animal fodder, large areas of land are deforested releasing billions of tonnes of CO2 into the atmosphere.

Effectively assists with: Public Speaking Panic attacks Exam nerves Self esteem Smoking Phobias Weight management FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION London, Brighton, Hove & Forest Row Practices

Bsc Dip EHPNLP Senior Clinican MNCH (acc)

Animal fodder farmed using industrialized processes is transported overseas and fed to animals including cows. The decimation of the earth’s natural environment to feed this industry continues. The mammoth worldwide appetite for the hamburger is chomping it’s way through the Amazon Rainforest at an alarming rate.

‘Growth in industry’ is no longer a positive term. Seeing everything from an economic perspective is not a healthy environmental viewpoint. Meat and dairy industries contribution to global warming is estimated at 18 per cent, higher than the contribution to global warming of all transport networks combined (13.5 per cent) The facts and figures are all available via a UNFAO report, not distributed widely by the media.

Will our part of the world have to become uninhabitable with food and fresh water in short supply, as it is in so many other parts of the world, before we realise the necessity for us to live a sustainable existence in harmony with our environment? By which time it will be too late.

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7/9/09

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14 HOT LIST

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

Restaurants British and modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit – they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner.

9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk

Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and

excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Barney’s Come and sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine.

102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058 Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!

watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Mary’s are very popular too!

28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423

Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95, wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one

of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’.

Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059

Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere.

Locals and foodies mix in this familyfriendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers.

88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk

Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locallycaught fish and other Sussex produce.

Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner.

28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk

The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-

To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest hot list call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105

Koba

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 15

Food & drink Andrew Kay with news of the Sussex Food & Drink Awards andrew@thelatest.co.uk

Your vote counts Now is the time to join in and nominate and vote for winners in the next Sussex Food and Drink Awards. You can vote online at www.sussexfoodawards.com and you will have the chance to win two tickets to the ‘Sussex foodie event of the year’ – the Sussex Food and Drink Awards 2009/10 dinner in January 2010.

You can also pick up voting forms at any of the following events: 12 & 13 September – Brighton Food Festival’s Sussex Market, Live Food Show and Children’s Food Festival, North Laine (New Road, Jubilee Street & Pavilion Gardens); 19 & 20 September – Glynde Food Festival; 19 & 20 September – Hastings Seafood and Wine Festival; 25 September – The Big Nibble, Horsham; 3 & 4 October – the South of England Game Fair, Ardingly showground.

You can also call the organisers Natural PR on 01273 857242 or email alexandra@naturalpr.biz

On the look out for young chefs Sussex Food and Drink Awards judges are looking for a chef between the ages of 16 and 25, who is working or studying in Sussex, and has the ability to plan, prepare and present a menu based on their knowledge of the local, seasonal produce grown, reared or caught in Sussex.

This year’s Sussex Young Chef of the Year is Ben Goldsmith who works at Whites in Steyning. Other finalists were Nicholas Cain who works at Cromwells near Henfield and Joshua Cook from the The Real Eating Company in Lewes.

“Vote by the end of July for Sussex Farmer of the Year and Young Chef of the Year” They all had superb knowledge of local, seasonal ingredients and were able to win the hearts and stomachs of an expert panel of judges when they Young chef Ben Goldsmith competed in a cook off at City College Brighton & Hove.

The same format goes this year – but your vote counts now and needs to be in by the end of July to ensure your favourite young chef makes it onto the shortlist for the 2009/10 awards.

Sussex Young Chef of the Year is sponsored by Train To Gain

Sussex Farmer Of The Year Sussex farmers not only grow wonderful food, but they look after our beautiful countryside and make the South Downs what it is today.

Steve Hook at Longleys Farm is this year’s Sussex Farmer of the Year and the hunt is now on for the 2009/10 winner. Nominations for the Sussex farmers who have made the biggest contribution to promoting local produce in the county must be in by the end of July.

Sussex Farmer of the Year is sponsored by Knill James

Helping keep business local Now is the time to support local hotels, restaurants, B&Bs and cafes which show the Sussex Breakfast logo – they are serving over 60 per cent quality local produce in their breakfasts from ethical farmers. You can find out more about the Sussex Breakfast at www.visitsussex.org

Steve Hook at Longleys Farm

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16 HOT LIST Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast.

196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk

Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Indian

Japanese

Chaula’s

Moshi Moshi

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu.

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

Described by The Times as having a “fanatical following,” Moshi Moshi has become one of the leading restaurants on the South Coast, popular for its fresh, handmade sushi.

Become a Moshi member online www.moshimoshi.co.uk and get special discounts. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook.

Moshi Moshi, Opticon, The Lanes, Bartholomew Square, Brighton BN1 1JS, 01273 719195

The Chilli Pickle

Thai

The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa.

Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose

L’Église

Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes and sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the

Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room.

Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie Now relocated in the heart of Brighton, on the seafront. The new menu offers brunch, lunch, tea and dinner from 11am to 11pm, seven days a week. They’ve gone more mainstream but some old favourites remain, along with the French specials. Pop in for a croque monsieur and coffee during the day, or treat yourself to a cocktail – they have over 30 on the menu. Parties of all sizes can be catered for.

64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488

Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie just down from Brighton Station.

Everything is homemade on the promises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads. Eat in or take away, there’s also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions.

48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

The Chilli Pickle

New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible.

Their reasonably priced menu starts at £10.50 for two courses, 12.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £14.50 for two courses, £16.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday.

A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm.

10 & 11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/ restaurant.asp

L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an

teas and a wine list also feature.

42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings.

Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the

comprehensive list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. “Sanuk!”

165–169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest hot list call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105

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LATEST LISTINGS 17

latest listings

YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO WHAT’S ON 14 – 20 JULY Under review Here’s our roundup of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk Krater Comedy Club It’s easy to take Krater for granted but its tenth birthday weekend was a cracking show, demonstrating just what an institution for quality in comedy Krater truly is. With a variety of acts – that’s Dan Nightingale’s joyful fun, Tiffany Stevenson’s engaging social commentary and Reg D Hunter’s larger than life Barry White of intelligent comedy – it was engaging and full of guaranteed laughter.

Compere Maff Brown kept things going with a smile and friendly patter that erupted into laughter every minute and kept us on the right track. A cracking way to round the weekend off.

Komedia, 5 July

★★★★★ Victoria Nangle The Maids/Deathwatch A double-bill of plays from Genet in which Sarah Charsley and Lyn Fernee get ideas above

their station, and the lead characters in Deathwatch fail to cope with a pressure cooker situation while they’re all stuck in the same cell. There’s a pulsating thread of sexuality that runs through both pieces, and it’s not always pleasant: the boys in the cell are suffocated by each others’ aggressive personalities, while the maids are somewhat more passive-aggressive.

A nice moment draws a veil between the two plays when a prison guard (Mark Green) rips down the opulence we’ve associated with The Maids to reveal a stark cold cell. We’re reminded that all the characters we see have their fragile masks, and underneath have even more fragile hopes, desires and fears.

And in that, these two plays are for us all.

New Venture Theatre, 5 July

★★★✩✩

Hot review of the week

Andrew Allen

Simon Munnery Random, haphazard but with the deft hand of many years of experience. This Edinburgh preview doesn’t seem to have much of a theme to hold it together, or idea as to where it might go next, but with an endearing persona combined

18 Stage Highlights of what to expect at the Theatre Royal in Brighton

19 Film Comprehensive cinema listings and reviews

20 Comedy Victoria gets all controversial with Scott Capurro. Cheeky!

20 Art Sam Hicks’ images from the Deep South

21 Kids & events One small step at Herstmonceux Observatory. Plus cricket in Sport, we love it.

22 Music Latitude Festival coming very soon. Wellie alert

Simon Munnery

with some lovely anecdotes it was a perfectly entertaining night. A few of Munnery’s trademark pithy gags were in evidence, as were his songs and poems. Most of all, his love for his family brought out a rich vein of parental wisdom and innocent wonder that will be all the more engaging for being polished. Lovely.

Upstairs At Three And Ten, 1 July

25 Clubs Just blame it on the boogie. We do...

27 Gay A whole heap of listings for you to peruse

28 Television Where’s me specs?

★★★✩✩ Victoria Nangle

Public Enemies launch The Duke of York’s is fantastic at adding a sense of occasion to its big movie launches. With previous events for Batman Returns and The Simpsons Movie to name but a couple the theme of dressing up in 1930s style went down a treat with punters and staff alike. With a red carpet laid out, paparazzi shots taken and a mini-play before the film started that took place from all over the cinema and was smashing fun, this was ‘event Friday night’. So much more than a night at the pictures.

Duke of York's Picturehouse, 3 July

Chief plus support “Sorry about the tennis,” Californian band Chief said by way of introduction after Roddick beat Murray only hours before. The crowd didn't mind and were soon treated to a set of well executed indie tracks.

Chief’s music was flawless, their sound dynamic – they made the most of the small setting and were ever the professionals in adjusting equipment and sound levels to deliver a quality performance. Top supporting bands geared up the crowd, including Fearless Heroes, who, with a new drummer in tow, were on form and looked at home on stage.

★★★★★

The Freebutt, 3 July

Victoria Nangle

★★★★✩ Zara Baker

Gossip girl p30

For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk

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18 STAGE

Royal line-up Highlights from a season of top drama and entertainment at Brighton’s historic Theatre Royal

here’s a stunning line-up of talent at the Theatre Royal this autumn and winter with a star studded programme of dramas, musicals and comedies. Highlights include the new stage musical of The Who’s Quodrophenia (1 Sept–5 Sept). This compelling coming of age story is brought to life in this original stage adaptation of the legendary album.

More stellar casting follows with Matt Lucas in Prick Up Your Ears (7 Sept–12 Sept), prior to its West End run. Based on the diaries of Joe Orton it tells the sensational story of Joe and Ken’s domestic life at 25 Noel Road.

Edward Woodward and Michelle Dotrice star in the romantic AR Gurney drama Love Letters (1 Oct–3 Oct), a unique and imaginative play that reconstructs the lifelong correspondence between two school friends.

English Touring Theatre return with Molière’s last play. The Hypochondriac (6 Oct–10 Oct) is adapted by Liverpool’s Poet Laureate, Roger McGough (Tartuffe) and stars Clive Francis.

Neil Morrissey and Oliver Chris star in the stage adaptation of Rain Man (12 Oct–17 Oct) – a funny, touching and heart-warming story, direct from the West End and based on the 1988 Oscarwinning movie Featuring songs by Roy Orbison, The Shadows, Eddie Cochran, Billy Fury, Chuck Berry and many more, Dreamboats And Petticoats

T

Stage listings Tuesday 14 July to Monday 20 July Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Oklahoma The story of an Oklahoma farm girl, Laurey, who is forced to choose between Curly, the happy-go-lucky cowboy she loves, and Judd, the mysterious loner she fears.

• 14 July–29 August, 7.30pm please check with venue to confirm, £12–36 The House of Special Purpose The story of the deposed Russian Tsar and his family as they are held captive by communist soldiers in post-revolution Russia.

• 14 July–22 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50

Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Last of the Summer Wine A stage version of the beloved BBC classic. Ruth Madoc

(Hi-Di-Hi) leads a cast which also includes; Tony Adams (Crossroads) and Steven Pinder (Brookside) in this world premiere from the pen of comedy-writing legend Roy Clarke OBE. • 15 July–8 August, 7.45pm plus Wed & Sat 2.30pm, no Sunday performances, £13.50–£19.50

Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Evita Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s extraordinary musical about Evita Peron, wife of Argentinian dictator Juan Peron comes to the stage.

• 14 July–18 July, 7.30pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, No Performances Sundays, £23–£35 The Producers The Producers is a musicalcomedy based on the Mel Brooks 1968 film of the same name. The story concerns two

The Musical (19 Oct–24 Oct) will take you back to a time when each passing week brought another classic track.

Real fans of this will be thrilled to see a return to the original.

Prepare for a night of fun, frolics and frivolity in this thrilling production of Richard O’Brien’s classic original script of the Rocky Horror Show (26 Oct–31 Oct).

Simon Shepherd, Philip Franks and Norman Pace appear in a comedy spoof of Graham Greene’s hysterical comedy Our Man In Havana.

Liza Goddard and Christopher Cazenove star in the classic comedy hit The Grass is Greener (2 Nov–7 Nov).

From the producers of the global hit The 39 Steps comes Frederick Knott’s intense and darkly gripping thriller Dial M For Murder (17 Nov–21 Nov) famously filmed by Alfred Hitchcock.

Hot on the heels of Theatre Royal Brighton’s most successful Christmas show, The Wizard of Oz, comes Peter Pan (4 Dec–3 Jan).

A truly marvellous musical extravaganza to enthrall children of all ages and adults who never grew up. Another fantastic Theatre Royal Brighton production.

For more information on all the productions mentioned please contact: Box Office 08448 717 650 (bkg fee) Groups Hotline 08448 717 617 Access Bookings 08448 717 677 (bkg fee) www.ambassadortickets.com/brighton

theatrical producers who scheme to get rich by overselling interests in a Broadway flop. The result is an outrageous production called ‘Springtime For Hitler’ which offends everyone, and so upsets no-one!

• 22 July–1 August, 7.30pm plus Thurs 30 July, Sat 25 July & Sat 1 August 2.30pm, £10–£14.50

The Hawth, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Footlights Academy: Fame Be dazzled by the dynamic dance routines, popular songs and the explosive itality of the 26 strong cast drawn from the promising singing, dance and drama students of the newly formed Footlights Academy in its first ever musical.

• 19 July, 7.30pm, £8–£12

Theatre Royal 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal The Agatha Christie Theatre Company: Spider’s Web A dead body is discovered by the wife of a Foreign Office diplomat. A murder mystery ensues.

• 14 July–18 July, 7.45pm plus Sat 2.30pm, £15–£27

The Winslow Boy When Ronnie Winslow, a fourteen-year-old Cadet, is expelled from Naval College after being accused of stealing a fiveshilling postal order, his father is convinced of his innocence. Determined to clear his son’s name, he employs Sir Robert Morton, the outstanding attorney of the day.

• 20 July–25 July, 7.45pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, £18–£30

Highdown Gardens – Open Air Theatre, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Rainbow Shakespeare: Henry V England's most charismatic king fights the odds in war and love. In a great outdoor summer location.

• 14 July–19 July, 7.30pm (gates open at 6.30pm for picnics) plus Sat and Sun 2pm (gates open at 1pm for picnics), £12.

Rainbow Shakespeare: Love’s Labours Lost Four young men swear to give up women and study, when four young women appear. In a great outdoor summer location.

• 21 July-26 July, 7.30pm (gates open at 6.30pm for picnics) plus Sat and Sun 2pm (gates open at 1pm for picnics), £12.

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FILM 19

www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 14

PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 5.00

BRONSON (18) 8.45

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 8.15

BRUNO (18) 12.15, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 4.45, 6.15, 7.00.

8.30, 9.15 THE HANGOVER (15) 1.00, 3.15, 5.45 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 12.15, 1.15, 2.45, 4.15, 5.15, 6.45, 9.00 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 1.45, 5.15, 8.15 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 12.30, 2.00, 3.45, 5.00, 7.45

Wednesday 15 BRUNO (18) 11.30, 12.15, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 4.45, 6.15, 7.00. 8.30, 9.15

Thursday 16 BRUNO (18) 11.30, 12.15, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 4.45, 6.15, 7.00. 8.30, 9.15 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 1.45, 2.15, 3.45, 4.30, 5.15, 5.45, 7.15, 8.00. 8.45, 9.30 DOUBT (15) 10.30am ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 10.40, 12.15, 1.15, 2.45, 4.15, 5.15, 6.45, 9.00 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 5.00

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 1.45, 2.15, 3.45, 4.30, 5.15, 5.45, 7.15, 8.00. 8.45, 9.30

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 8.15

ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 12.15, 1.15, 2.45, 4.15, 5.15, 6.45, 9.00

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM SHOWINGS AND TIMES

Films showing Friday 17–Monday 20

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 14

Saturday 18

BURMA VJ AND SATELLITE Q & A (12A) 8.30

35 SHOTS OF RUM (15) 4.00, 9.00

PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 1.30, 4.30

ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD (U) 1.30

STATE OF PLAY (12A) 11.00am

KATYN (18) 6.30

Wednesday 15

THE TIGGER MOVIE (U) 11.00am

PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 2.30, 6.15, 9.15

Sunday 19

STATE OF PLAY (12A) 11.00am

35 SHOTS OF RUM (15) 9.00

Thursday 16

KATYN (18) 6.00

PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 12.15, 3.15, 6.15, 9.15

THE AGE OF STUPID (12A) 1.30

Friday 17

THE MOONLIGHT AND THE SLEDGEHAMMER (U) 4.00

35 SHOTS OF RUM (15) 4.00, 9.00 HEAT (15) 11.00pm KATYN (18) 1.30 SLEEP FURIOUSLY (U) 6.00

THE SILLY AGE (15), The Sallis Benney Theatre 11.00am

Monday 20 35 SHOTS OF RUM (15) 3.30, 8.30 KATYN (18) 1.00 SLEEP FURIOUSLY (U) 6.00

www.cineworld.co.uk

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 14

PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 2.20, 5.30, 8.40

THE BLUES BROTHERS (15) 1.15, 3.45, 6.15, 8.50

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 1.20, 4.40, 8.00

BRUNO (18) 12.00, 12.50, 2.10, 3.00, 4.20, 5.10, 6.40, 7.20, 8.50, 9.30

Thursday 16

THE HANGOVER (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

BRUNO (18) 12.50, 3.00, 5.10, 7.20, 8.50, 9.30

ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 6.10 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 11.40, 1.10, 2.00, 3.40, 4.30, 7.00, 8.30, 9.20

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 11.15, 1.00, 1.45, 2.30, 4.15, 5.00, 5.45, 7.30, 8.15, 9.00

MY SISTER’S KEEPER (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 9.10

ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 6.10

PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 2.20, 5.30, 8.40

ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 11.40, 1.10, 2.00, 3.40, 4.30, 7.00, 9.20

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 1.20, 4.40, 8.00

Wednesday 15 BRUNO (18) 12.50, 3.00, 5.10, 7.20, 8.50, 9.30 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 11.15, 1.00, 1.45, 2.30, 4.15, 5.00, 5.45, 7.30, 8.15, 9.00

L7 lowdown What’s on this week

Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince (12A) Dir: David Yates Teenage hormones are bubbling over along with the potions of Hogwarts as our leading trio find they’ve got more to battle with than Voldemort’s ever-growing presence in the world.

Although that is troubling them too.

With star turns from Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Jim Broadbent.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon

Public Enemies (15) Dir: Michael Mann Johnny Depp, Christian Bale and Marion Cotillard star in this Depression era thriller. Depp plays real life bank robber extraordinaire John Dillinger, who steals from the hated banks. Cotillard plays his girlfriend Billie Frechette, while Bale is the FBI agent Melvin Purvis, tasked with stopping all the bank robbing.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Duke of Yorks

Bruno (18) Dir: Larry Charles The latest from the stable of outrageous characters brought to us by Sacha Baron Cohen. Bruno is an outrageously dressed gay European fashionista (check out the velcro outfit).

Already there have been more than a couple of column inches in the tabloids dedicated to the response to this controversial comedy. Mockumentary mayhem ensues and much egg covers many faces.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

The Silly Age (15) Dir: Pavel Giroud Shown as a part of the Cuban film season marking 50 years since the revolution. This multi award-winning film covers the relationship between a grandmother and her grandson. Named after the ‘silly age’ that in Cuba is the time before adolescence, ages seven to eleven, everything is colourful and bright – even the 1959 revolution as seen through the boy’s eyes. Coming of age and coming of ages.

Showing at Sallis Benney Theatre

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (12A) Dir: Michael Bay Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox return to look beautiful, make friends with Autobots and battle evil Decepticons out to destroy the world in some truly awesome big budget blow ups.

Joining this pretty crew are Rainn Wilson and Josh Duhamel. Cool.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Burma VJ (12A) Dir: Anders Østergaard Remarkable documentary made using handheld cameras by Burmese reporters, documenting the regime under which they live. Put together from the shaky footage, the reporters become the story as the government turns on them and their narration turning what was a distanced report into a far too real thriller.

Showing at Duke Of York’s

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (U) Dir: Carlos Saldanha The prehistoric animation returns. This time it’s more of a family affair, with Manny settling down. Meanwhile Sid, not wanting to be left out, plays mum to three dinosaur eggs, which is fine, until their real mum shows up. Yikes!

Catch it in 3D at certain screenings.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught

PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 2.20, 5.30, 8.40 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 1.20, 4.40, 8.00

Films showing Friday 17–Monday 20 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES

ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 6.10 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 11.40, 1.10, 2.00, 3.40, 4.30, 7.00, 9.20

www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

01903 206206 Tues 14 – Thurs 16

Saturday 18

ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 4.30, 7.00

CORALINE (PG) 10.15am CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince

35 Shots of Rum (15) Dir: Claire Denis Writer/director Claire Denis presents this French/German hybrid of a film examining familial relationships.

Specifically that between a father and daughter and how it is disrupted by the arrival of a handsome young man.

Described as ‘ordinarily spellbinding’ by critics, this is captivating and enjoyable.

Showing at Duke of York’s

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20 STAND-UP COMEDY | ART

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle chats with witty, bitchy, abused and abusive comic Scott Capurro

cott Capurro is controversial. That you can say with certainty.

And gay. And American. In fact he’s in San Francisco when I talk to him, performing his own brand of love/hate stand-up that provokes extreme responses on both sides of the pond.

“Oh my god. You know that the worst response I get from audiences is from gay people, generally – in San Francisco and Brighton. Oddly. Almost across the board. In fact I just played a club here called The Punchline, and the gigs were great. But at the second show Saturday, four women in the audience were very drunk and they hurled verbal abuse at me. I hadn’t been on stage for more than ten minutes and they were absolutely furious. They had to be kicked out of the club.” Scott admits that the most frightened he’s ever been on stage was at a gig in Brighton. Blimey!

“I did punch a woman in the head in London. But that was because she called me a sad ****ing queer. And tried to rush the stage.”

Namecalling is a sore spot. “I do have a boundary about verbal abuse towards gay men. And when it gets to that, I sort of see red. It’s a very strange thing. I can’t rationally make a decision.

I never expect it from women and I’m always surprised.”

Scott admits that sometimes, if his hackles are raised by an audience’s attitude, he may go harder on them. I ask if it’s pre-emptive poking to the would-be bullies. “A little bit,” he concedes.

But he gets very good responses too.

Well, he should as a Perrier award-winner.

The occasional standing ovation.

“Everyone stood up. I thought they were getting their coats, I thought, oh I’ve screwed up now. And they stood up, this was last week, last Tuesday, – I felt like laughing.”

Scott Capurro is performing at Caroline of Brunswick, Thursday 16 July, 8pm, £8; and Krater Comedy Club at Komedia on 31 July, 1 & 2 August. See press for times and prices.

S

“I did punch a woman in the head in London...”

☺

Stand-up wisdom: “My wife doesn’t like flying.

It doesn’t help that they call the building ‘the terminal’.” Michael McIntyre

Comedy listings Tuesday 14

Wednesday 15

Friday 17

Pippa Evans The If.comedy nominee '08 introduces new characters and ideas in preparation for this year's Edinburgh. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5 Zoe Lyons: Miss Machismo Miss Machismo explores, among other things, arming the elderly, human soup and the Pope's remarks about blurring the genders. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 9.30pm, £7/5

Mike Wozniak in Clown Shoes A new hour of stand-up from this If.comedy Newcomer Nominee. Komedia, 8pm, £6.

The Noise Next Door The improvised comedy troupe are joined by comedians Laura Lexx and Trevor Lock. The Brunswick, 8pm, £8/6.

Thursday 16 Prince Arthur Comedy Night A great night of free stand-up comedy with Jim Holland, Mandy Brown, Kerry Herbert, Kevin Heritage, Tim Watts, Andy Bryant and Lee Hume. Prince Arthur Pub, 8.30pm, free.

Monday 20 Edinburgh previews: Life of Si (Sy Thomas and Simon Feilder) and Marcel Lucont Edinburgh previews. A fiver to see the pair! The Farm Tavern, 8pm and 9.30pm, £5

State of mind On The Way is a photographic record of the deep south by Sam Hicks The work in exhibition On The Way is characterised by Hicks’s fascination with light; how it can transform a scene, change colours, create a mood and bring subjects to life. Often he will combine photographic lighting with natural light to lend a filmic quality and create a powerful narrative. Samuel aims to capture people in their true environment. He aims to

connect to the individual, the link between subject and viewer, encouraging the dialogue between the two.

The images are taken from three trips to the USA during an 18 month period, where Hicks drove through the states of Nevada, new Mexico, California and Texas.

Sam Hicks: On The Way, Crane Kalman Gallery, until 19 July

Art listings Ditchling Museum Church Lane, Ditchling 01273 844744 Drawn from Ditchling: Portraits from a Sussex Village Portraits from the Museum’s collection – paintings and drawings, caricatures and photographs, word and film – celebrate the artists who have lived in Ditchling as well as local people who have drawn, painted and photographed in this village.

• Until December 2009, Tues–Sat 10.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

Crane Kalman 38 Kensington Gardens 01273 697096 Sam Hicks: On The Way Solo exhibition depicting his love affair with light and the deep south, recorded over three trips during an 18-month spell.

• Until 19 July, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10.30am–4.30pm

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens 01273 290900 The American Scene: Prints From Hopper to Pollock 56 modern American artists are featured at this popular exhibition documenting America from the turn of the century to the 1950s.

• Until 31 Aug, Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

Latest Music Bar 14–17 Manchester Street Brighton 01273 687171 Diana Frangi Photographic exhibition documenting the Argentinianborn photographer’s love of all things music; from locals The Levellers to Fatboy Slim, The Perils to Herbie Flowers.

• Mon–Sun 9am–late

Phoenix Arts Gallery 10–14 Waterloo Place Brighton 01273 603700 Fabric of War Fabric of War records personal and collective histories of conflict, translated into paper from uniforms and monuments. The cathartic artworks of Combat Paper Project are executed by veterans using paper made from uniforms imbued with private memories, while Marshall Weber’s rubbings trace the narrative of war imprinted in its monuments.

• Until 16 August, Wed–Sun 11am–5pm

De La Warr Pavilion Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 Beuys Is Here: Sculpture Object Action Revolution Exhibition of sculpture by Joseph Beuys.

• Until 27 September, Mon–Fri 10am–5pm

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KIDS & EVENTS | SPORT 21

Events highlights

Latest sport

Life is good Andy Winter reports on Sussex vs Australia and the matches coming up for our home side

Moon-landing merriment Forty years on from those small steps for man and that giant leap for mankind, Herstmonceux Observatory are marking the first lunar landing with a ‘Cheese, Wine and Telescope’ night.

Visitors will have the opportunity to look through some of Sir Patrick Moore’s personal collection of photographs and moon maps, before tucking into cheese and having a look through the historic telescopes.

Anniversary of the First Lunar Landings, Herstmonceux Observatory, Herstmonceux, East Sussex, Saturday 18 July, 7pm–11pm, £17.50, www.the-observatory.org

Patcham Pet Party Animal lovers will be pleased to hear that Brighton RSPCA are holding a family open day this Sunday.

A whole host of activities will be taking place by the RSPCA shelter on the Braypool playing fields just outside Patcham.

Events on the open day include: a dog show, a classic car

show and an auction. There will also be plenty of charity and trade stalls and a bouncy castle as well as a beer tent to keep the thirsty replenished.

The RSPCA shelter will also be open for people to see the animals, and the money raised from the event will go to help the RSPCA to rescue animals.

RSPCA Open Day, Braypool Sports Field, Patcham, Sunday 19 July, 10.30am, £1 entry for pedestrians or £3 for cars. www.rspca-brighton.co.uk or call 01273 554218.

Work hard, play hard Nido Marketing host their fourth annual fun day. A rounders tournament and giant games of Jenga, Connect 4 and Beat the Keeper are all taking place in Stanmer Park.

Money raised from the event goes to Honeycroft Under 5’s Centre in Hove, so it’s for a good cause. Whilst primarily a networking event for local businesses, this won’t be a boring work do.

Nido Fun Day, Stanmer Park, Friday 17 July, 2pm, Free entry. www.nidomarketing.co.uk

My daughter told me a joke about two old boys who had been watching Sussex cricket for years. But when one was on his deathbed, his old friend asked him: ”Will you contact me from the afterlife and let me know if they play cricket in heaven?” His friend died later that day.

That night in bed, the surviving friend heard the voice of his dead friend: ”I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that they play cricket in heaven. The bad news is that you are opening the bowling on Thursday.”

At the moment it is all good news for Sussex cricket. We have reached the final of the Friends Provident Trophy after a tightly fought semi-final against Gloucestershire. Murray Goodwin demonstrated that he has returned to form with a polished 60, with contributions with the bat from Chris Nash and Luke Wright, and four wickets for captain Mike Yardy and two for Yasir Arafat. But the highlight was 146 from man of the match, Ed Joyce.

At the end of June, Sussex took on the mighty Australians. Not only did Sussex hold its own against the number one Test playing nation, but came within 45 runs of winning! The highlight was the 115 scored by Carl Hopkinson, the only century in the match. There were other outstanding performances, not least on day one when Australia slumped to 114 for 5 thanks to outstanding bowling by Pepler Sandri, amongst others. A draw was a fair result.

So what next? Ignore the Ashes! This week Sussex entertain Hampshire in a County Championship match in Arundel for four days starting on Wednesday 15 July. This is followed by a Pro40 match, again against Hampshire in Arundel on Sunday. Arundel has the most beautiful first class ground in the world and watching cricket there is one of life’s great sporting experiences.

And then, of course, there is the small matter of Hampshire once again on Saturday 25 July, at Lords in the Friends Provident Trophy final. Two days later it is the quarter-final of the Twenty20 Cup, a home tie against Warwickshire on Monday 27 July. This will be a great occasion at Hove with a capacity crowd under the floodlights.

Contact the club soon (0844 2640 202 or www.sussexcricket.co.uk) if you want any chance of securing tickets.

Read more on Andy Winter’s Cricket Blog at http://andywinter.wordpress.com

Wednesday 15

Saturday 18

Sunday 19

Plus One Wine Tasting The new way to meet potential partners. Take a single friend of the opposite sex (ensuring a balance of male to female and giving you moral support) and get chatting with new people over a series of wines chosen by a tasting expert.

Plus One Wine Tasting, Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £39 ticket for two, £25 for those new to town. plusonesocial.com

Magical Musicals at Pashley Manor Ben Elton comperes this black-tie charity event. The gardens open for picnics at 5pm, and at 7.30pm, the West End songs begin.

Money raised goes to local Hospices.

Magical Musicals, Pashley Manor nr. Ticehurst, 5pm, £60/50 (inc. champagne).

Booking essential. 01825 890494 or gore@framfield.com

Jill Windmill Open Day Jack and Jill windmill society volunteers open the Jill windmill to the public.

Jill Windmill, Clayton, 2–5pm, Free (donations welcome). www.jillwindmill.org.uk

Photo by Clare Calder

Events listings

Ricky Ponting, hits out

022_LS432 Music_News

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22 MUSIC NEWS

latest music

with Jeff Hemmings

★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

Latitude The Latitude Festival is not just another music festival as Jeff Hemmings reports

news ▲

Access to Beachdown Radio Reverb and Access To Music are hooking up to provide entertainment at this year’s Beachdown Festival having secured their own tent. Featuring a mix of ATM student bands and more established Brighton acts who aren’t already on the bill, the live music will be interspersed with Radio Reverb DJs throughout the four days.

Details to be released soon but in the meantime, there is a taster event at Latest Music Bar featuring three of Brighton’s finest live groovers; Los Albertos, Astro Physics and Ruderalis.

Thursday 16 July, Latest Music Bar

▲

Brighton Record fair In 1979 a man simply known as Vinyl Man aka Geoff Finch hosted Brighton’s first professional records fair. After 30 years of doing so he’s got another one this weekend, which once again will be packed to the rafters with collectable vinyl, covering all ages and all genres. Of particular interest this time around may be a rare Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ picture disc or the 4000 12” Skint/Loaded vinyl’s that Geoff has purchased and which will be available at the fair to help celebrate 30 years in the biz.

Sunday 19 July, Brighton Centre

Tuesday 6 October, Dome

S

the

Big

Zero 7

et up by the Mean Fiddler Group (now Festival Republic) in 2006 the Latitude Festival has quickly grown to be one of the most popular festivals in a very saturated calender.

More like a continental style bash Latitude also comprises elements of theatre, art, comedy, cabaret, poetry, politics and literature; it’s a festival of the performing arts which is exactly what Glastonbury is officially billed as.

Music, of course, is still the main draw and this year the headliners are Pet Shop Boys, Grace Jones and Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. Lower down the bill there’s Editors, Doves, Regina Spektor, White Lies, Pretenders, Spiritualized, Gossip and Ladyhawke. Brighton is well represented this year with the aforementioned Nick Cave plus Bat For Lashes, The Mummers, Squeeze (Chris Difford is resident here), The Late Greats (from Eastbourne), Flashguns and the amazing performance poet Dizraeli.

Theatre plays a big part at Latitude and this year you can see performances by the Royal Shakespeare Company, National

gig

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Theatre, Bush Theatre, Picks of The Pleasance, Ken Campbell’s School of Night and The Rebel Cell.

Of course comedy is well established here and there’s a full programme of laughs from the likes of Jo Brand, Ed Byrne, Mark Thomas, Marcus Brigstocke, Sean Hughes, Shappi Khorsandi, Jessica Delfino, Rufus Hound and our very own Seann Walsh.

There’s also loads of cabaret, outdoor theatre, poetry and spoken word including readings and sessions with Mark Steel, Vivienne Westwood, Sir Peter Blake and Keith Allen. And the Waterfront Stage will host performances by Sadler’s Wells, Britten Sinfonia and Royal Opera House.

Children are very well catered for with a full programme of events and activities, and the Film and Music arena presents many opportunities to hear world class directors (Stephen Frears and Shane Meadows) alongside acoustic performances and much else besides.

Latitude, Henham Park, Southwold, Suffolk, Thursday 16–Sunday 19 July.

UPCOMING GIGS Hadouken! 1 Aug, Concorde 2 Easy Star All Stars 5 Aug, Concorde 2 Wedding Present 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Bill Callahan 18 Aug, St. Georges Church Wedding Present 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Sister Sledge 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Beachdown 28–31 August Average White Band 8 Sept, Concorde 2 Talvin Singh 23 Sept, Concorde 2 Kelly Joe Phelps 29 Sept, Komedia Brighton Live 30 Sept–3 Oct Hockey 1 October, Digital Bat For Lashes 2 Oct, Dome Joan Baez 5 Oct, Dome Zero 7 6 Oct, Dome Wilko Johnson 8 October, Old Market

Skindred 19 Oct, Concorde 2 Orquesta Buena Social Club 20 Oct, Dome Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre Indigo Girls 26 October, Concorde 2 Dizzee Rascal 27 Oct, Dome Jimmy Webb 1 Nov, Dome Reverend & The Makers 2 Nov, Concorde 2 Seth Lakeman 6 Nov, Corn Exchange Dreadzone 20 Nov, Komedia Ryuichi Sakamoto 27 Nov, Dome UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper 5 Dec, Brighton Centre James Morrison 8 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre Lily Allen 13 Dec, Brighton Centre

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MUSIC 23

Music listings

Music highlights

Tuesday 14 to Monday 20 July

Tuesday 14 to Monday 20 July

Tuesday 14 Strange Place Club Presents Glasslights + Hold Fire + Jumping Ships Songs about our tiny lives from fresh Brit Rockers, Glasslights.

Audio, 7pm, £5.

The Dolphin Parade + Dead By Seven + Monocure Prince Albert, 8pm, free.

Turisats Del Flamenco + Soderone Flamenco Latin, Spanish pop fusion band.

Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4.

Woody Sez - The words, music & spirit of Woody Guthrie With twin fiddles, guitars, bass, harmonica, banjo, mandolin and beautiful folk harmonies! Komedia, 8pm, £12/10.

Wednesday 15 Club NME with The Wasp Factory + Riot Riot Brighton Coalition, 10.30pm, free.

Enos + From Beneath It Devours + Funeral Hag Prince Albert, 8pm, free.

Hot 8 Brass Band Brighton Coalition, 7pm–10pm, £8.

Koala Friday + Elissa Franceschi Bedroom jam-born pop songs. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £2.

Lisa Hannigan + Richie Jape Acclaimed Irish singer. Komedia, 7.30pm, £15.

Luchagors (U.S. feat- WWE’s Lita) + Rocket Dolls High-octane punk rock action. Engine Rooms, 8pm, £5.

Thursday 16 I Heart Night Monthly music night with live bands and DJs. The Hope, 8.30pm, £4/3.

It’s Alive Presents...The Perils + Jumping Ships + Dude Spit Hectors House, 8.30pm.

Post Mortem Promises Death metal five-piece inciting beer flinging and hair whippage. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £5.

Los Albertos + Astro Physics + Ruderalis Foot-stompin’high energy blend of ska, punk, funk, dub and original beats plus a funky barrage of lyrics from Astro Physics! Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4.

Spirit Of Gravity Female electronica, electroacoustic capers and art chaos! Komedia, 8.30pm, £5/4.

Tandy Hard + The Sea Will Decide + Coda Lula Prince Albert, 8pm, free.

Tragic Roundabout A joyous, heart lifting, glorious noise! The Brunswick, 8pm, £5.

Friday 17 Gloria Cycles + Pope Joan Fresh indie sounds from the hotly tipped Gloria Cycles.

Engine Rooms, 7pm, £5.

In Cahoots ’Up By The Roots’ with The Roots Union + Danni Nicholls A cabaretstyle night of heart-warming, dancing, jumping, multi-instrumental acoustic roots. Portland Rock Bar, 8pm, £4.

Jacquemo + Bela Emerson Transylvanian ska with tango vibes and lyrics of everyday ordinariness. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £7/6.

Sanctuary Cafe, Hove Thurs JULY 30th

SPEED DATING (ages 30-45) To book tel:

07876 453210

Joshua Radin Acoustic. Komedia, 7pm, £7.

Legacy with Ozi Ozaa + Rebel Control + Seany Clarke Pavilion Theatre, 8pm, £8/6.

Lout Presents Frankmusik + Charlie XCX + Support The electro wizard stirs in truely soulful and emotive synth-pop. Addictive stuff.

Audio, 7pm, £7.50.

Nelson King Performing his bluesy originals.

Portland Rock Bar, 9pm, £3.

Stone Circle + Surfaces + Haken + Orestea Freebutt, 7.30pm, free.

The Guillotines + Vile Imbeciles + Bijou Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc.

Tremain The sound of nu-soul groove. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/5.

Saturday 18 Buzz Club with Appi + Run Walk + Battle For Paris Hectors House, 8.30pm, free.

Nitin Sawhney Concorde 2, 7pm, £17.50.

Powerplant Feat: Elysian Quartet exploring hi-octane percussion-led music with an electronic sound and strong visual performance.

De La Warr Pavilion, 7pm, £12.

Sanctorum + Lycan’s Blood + Venxia Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc.

The Psychedelic Circus with Alison David A contemporary twist to the best of the 60’s ’summer of love’ groove, rock/soul scene. Latest Music Bar, 10pm, £8/6.

The Story So Far + Chaos Days + We Have Getaway... Freebutt, 7.30pm, free.

Sunday 19 Brighton Rock School End Of Term Gigs Second and third shows at 2.30pm/6.30pm.

Crank it up! Concorde 2, 10.30am, £3.50.

Gilad Atzmon Israeli-born British jazz musician.

The Brunswick, 8pm, £10.

Jamie & Pete's Open Mic Poets, musicians, artists, comedians, loons. All are welcome. The World's End, 8.30pm, free.

Jason Ringenberg Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc.

Jimmy Rae Blues with Cloud Shaper + Black Cat Bone + Triple Chicken Combo + Brown Star Hectors House, 8pm, free.

Kong + Chickenhawk + Bad For Lazarus Kong are scaring the pop outta punk with madcap results. Freebutt, 7.30pm, free.

Sabbat Thrash metal. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £tbc.

Monday 20 Blakfish + Colour + Easy Hips Indie melodies and hardcore aggression from NME’s ones to watch. Audio, 7pm, £4/3 NUS. Hjaltalin Beautiful orchestral pop. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4.

Jaime Pettit

To advertise here costs only £20 Call Rachel Bryant now!

01273 818150 ext 105

Nitin Sawhney Hot 8 Brass Band All born and raised in New Orleans the band came together in 1995 playing traditional New Orleans brass band music.

It was not until after Hurricane Katrina, however, that Hot 8 became known nationwide.

Featured on CNN, Nightline, in the New York Times, and most notably in Spike Lee’s Katrina documentary When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts, Hot 8’s work with the Finding Our Folk Tour brought music to evacuee shelters, temporary trailer parks, and to communities throughout the US that provided temporary homes to displaced New Orleanians.

Signed to Brighton’s Tru Thoughts label expect the hot hot hot summer brass sounds to fill the seafront air.

Wednesday 15 July, Coalition Nitin Sawhney It is hard to think of a modern musician who can boast a broader range of skills and achievements than Nitin Sawhney. He is not only a classically-trained pianist and flamenco guitarist but also a cutting-edge club DJ and producer, which may explain why he is the only artist ever to have been invited to play both the BBC Electric Proms and the ‘real’ Proms at the Royal Albert Hall. He has composed numerous orchestral symphonies and soundtracks for clients ranging from the London Symphony Orchestra and the Royal Ballet of China to Sony Playstation 3. He has been showered with arts awards and is the recipient of several honorary degrees. In 1999 Sawhney re-wrote the rule book with the divine Beyond Skin which was short listed for a Mercury Prize and won the South Bank Show Award. London

Undersound, his ninth record, is about how London has changed since 9/11 taking in his trade mark array of sub cultural influences, drum and base and hip hop, and bringing things up to date with sounds of dub step and collaborations with the likes of Natty and Paul McCartney.

Saturday 18 July, Concorde 2 Jason Ringenberg Erstwhile leader of The Scorchers, Jason was one of the originators of so-called ‘cow-punk’ and a pioneer of altcountry. The man puts plenty of energy into a solo show and recent album Empire Builders is full of political bite, historical narrative and outand-out barnstormers. For those with little ‘uns he’ll also be doing a kids show in the afternoon under the Farmer Jason guise with songs such as ‘Guitar Pickin’ Chicken’, ‘Punk Rock Skunk’ and ‘He’s Moose On The Loose’!

Sunday 19 July, Prince Albert (St. Joseph’s Church Hall, Milton Road for afternoon kids show, 3pm) Ozi Ozaa + Rebel Control + Seany Clarke Nu-soul, reggae and afro-jazz are on the menu tonight at this South:Live Showcase project called Legacy. Ozi Ozaa, led by Ghananian master drummer Yaw Asumadu, fuse West African, Latin, Caribbean and High Life, while Brighton’s Rebel Control mix melodic, laidback grooves with conscious-raising lyrics. Seany Clarke is frontman for Hardkandy but is developing a career as a solo artist, blending Gnarls Barkley meets Outkast soul pop.

Friday 17 July, Pavilion Theatre

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24 MUSIC REVIEWS | CHART

REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases ide projects; love ‘em or loathe them, there seems to be plenty of them about these days as artists are, by their very nature, creative beasts who need to get it off and get it out there…

Discovery is a collaboration between Rostam Batmanglij (Vampire Weekend) and Wes Miles (Ra Ra Riot). Combining modern glitch electronica with 80s beats and some urban R’n’B stylings, this is one of those that could have sounded like your worst musical nightmare. They sometimes pull it out of the bag thanks to some innovative musicianship (that includes using handclaps for beats instead of snare drums). But they ruin it with the constant use of the vocoder, some rather dreary song interpretations including (with excellent timing) a version of The Jackson 5’s ‘I Want You Back’, and too much cleverness for cleverness’s sake. Think Metronomy meets Hop Chip but nowhere near as good.

On a similar tip but altogether more interesting is Grasscut, a Brighton duo made up of soundtrack composer Andrew Phillips and all-round Brighton music chap Marcus O’Dair. Fusing a gentle ambient-techno sound with electronic glitch, samples and pastoral voices, the besuited twosome’s overlapping waves of dislocated melody is winning many admirers. ‘High Down’ is their debut single on the respected Ninja Tune label, with an album in the pipeline for later in the year.

One of the most divisive musicians of recent years Moby was, to my mind, an innovator who moved from mad hi-speed techno to punk nu-blues with his smash album Play. His last album was a pretty good stab at recreating the sound and style of late 80s rave and house music, an era particularly close to his heart. But with Wait For Me he’s lost it. A home recording using analog equipment and on a low budget, it not only reeks of mediocrity, it perhaps lifts the mask off the super production gloss that many of his previous records were able to have.

Another band reforms alert! This time it’s Skunk Anansie, an outfit who enjoyed some commercial success back in the 90s and who were led by the striking poise and power of Skin. Their lead guitarist is called Ace, who some of you may know as the presenter of The Ace New Music Show on Juice FM, but here his visceral heavy metal power chords propel the punk-metal of new single ‘Tear The Place Up’. This is their first new release in eight years. Expect a greatest hits package and tour in the autumn.

S

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 Portslade – Waking Up ★ 2 Nig2dmic – Now’s The Time (World Cup song 2010) 3 N-D-E – Bad Habit (digital media re master ) 4 Jaybee – My Imaginary Friend 5 Nig2dmic – Waiting Not Waisted 6 Chaos Borne – Watching 7 900 Spaces – Shake it Up 8 Mr resonate – Brighton Bubblin feat. Lionheart 9 Chaos Borne – I Will 10 The Mojo Fins – In The Script Just who will put Portslade back to sleep? Their trip hop reworkings are a non-mover at one, while rapper Nig2dmic proves theres nothing like being prepared with his 2010 World Cup song at two. Plus a top five double whammy for the Brighton lyric spitter with track ‘Waiting not Waisted,’ high at five. Plus N-D-E and Jaybee both take a step up this week while Portslade’s back is turned.

11 The Adam Kidd Band Into The Night 12 The Woo!worths Idle Hands 13 Swarf Parlour Tricks 14 EVOH “I Love Brighton” 15 Surrender Monkeys With Friends Like These?

16 tenek If I Should Fall – EP version 17 Surrender Monkeys John Agar Was Right 18 Tenek State Of Mind 19 Chaos Borne The Moment 20 Freudstein Sister Sleaze

21 Vortex Generator Regenerate 22 900 Spaces Discotechnology 23 Carnival Collective Freak Rocket 24 The Offcuts Broken Fingers 25 Geronimo Arkwright Gordon Brown 26 12 Stone Toddler Batten Down The Hatches (extended version) 27 Crawlspace Please God...

28 Senior Service NY City 29 No Sharp Objects The Wrong Kind of Love 30 Harper Ash China Girl

Submit your music and videos www.thelatest/7/music-chart

SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

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BARS & CLUBS 25

Bar & Club listings

Bar & Club highlights

Tuesday 14 to Monday 20 July

Tuesday 14 to Monday 20 July

Tuesday 14 Audio Snide. 10pm–2am, £3/2.

Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, free.

Digital Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS. Funky Buddha Lounge Subsplash. All star dub tracks and dub on the rising.10.30pm, £3/free.

New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! 10pm, £2.

Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal.10.30pm–3am, £3/1.

Wednesday 15 Audio Supercharged. It’s the year of the ghost!

Caspa will be laying down some massive midweek dubstep tracks. 11pm–2.30am, £5/3.

Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest with live bands and DJs. 10.30pm–3.30am, free.

Digital The Poundance. 11pm-3.30am, £1.

Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’n’B, hip-hop, dance hall and funky house. 10pm, £2/free.

Volks Dub Tek. Filthy midweek basslines.

10pm–4am, £3/free.

Thursday 16 Audio Shameless presents Quids In. 11pm, £1.

Funky Buddha Lounge Love Lockdown.

7.30pm, £tbc.

Honey Club Contagious. House and dance anthems. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1.

New Hero Pop Kraft. 10pm–2am, £2.

Om Bar and Club Thank Funk It’s Thursday.

Funk, dub, reggae and dub-step. 8.30pm, free.

Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the 80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2.

Friday 17 Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. 60s dance floor classics. 11pm–3am, £3.

Audio Disco Deviant. 80s butt-wiggling bass line and funky vocals. 11pm–4am, £10/8.

Brighton Coalition Electrosonic Festival On Tour. 11pm–4am, £10/8.

Concorde 2 Freebass. All kindsa basses for all kindsa faces! 11pm, free.

Digital Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll, DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4.

Engine Rooms Deviant. 11pm–3am, £5/3.

Funky Buddha Lounge Release. Funky and Soulful house music with a twist.

11pm, £6/3.

Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50.

Hanbury Club Club Chat Noir. Gypsy and 20s/30s Hot Swing club. 7pm–2am, £10/4.

Honey Club Kiss Da Funk. Rob Tissera delivers some monster house. 10pm–6am, £7/5.

Jam Laugh Out Loud. An eclectic mix of electronica beats. 10pm–3am, free.

Komedia Born Bad. A wild night of 50s rock’n’roll, 6Ts garage and girl groups, surf, sleaze, bop and exotica. 11pm, £6/5.

New Hero Somewhere in the Universe…

Alternative electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3.

Ocean Rooms Strobe. Pound drinks when the strobe strikes. 10.30pm, £2.

Pavilion Tavern Kick Out the Jams.

Rock’n’Roll. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night.

10pm–3am, £5/4.

Volks Strictly Guestlist. Electro, Breaks, Hard House, and Old Skool. 10pm–6am, £7.

Saturday 18 Arc Hold Up. Indie night. 10.30pm–4am, £5.

Audio Summer of Love. 11pm–4am, free.

Brighton Coalition Pop Musik. Unadulterated pop pleasures, classic hits and maverick pop genius! 11pm–4am, £10/6.

Concorde 2 Spiritual Element Presents Bukem In Sessions. 11pm, £10/12.50.

Digital Wired Present 3D Disco. Forget everything you've seen...! 11pm–4am, £tbc.

Engine Rooms Classic Rock. Classic rock and metal night. 10pm–2am, free b4 10.30/£5 after.

Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. With Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10.

Followed By: Mike Panteli Vs DJ Outbreak. 3am, £5/3.

Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50.

Hanbury Club Boogaloo Stu’s Popkraft. Primary pop overload plus outrageous party games.

Delectable. 7.30pm–2am, £8/6.

Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house. 10.30pm–5am, £12/5 NUS. Jam EBoogie. E-lectronic Pop. 9pm–2am, free.

Komedia Spellbound. 80s club night for all the haters of 80s nights! 9pm, £5.

La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house music from across the world. 8pm–4am, £6/free b4 11.

New Hero It Is Still 1985. Alternative 80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3.

Ocean Rooms Torture Garden. Saucy seaside fun. 11pm–6am, £15. Followed By: Ourfriendselectric. 3.30am–8.30am, free.

Om Bar and Club Floorgasm. The finest dirty, funky house/breaks/electro. 10pm, £tbc.

Po Na Na Silk. R’n’B, funky house, commercial.

10pm–3am, £10/5.

Volks Darklight. D’n’B from the revered masters Dillinja and Logistics. 11pm, £6 b4 12.

with Jaime Pettit

it would be rude to miss this. Plus LTJ Bukem celebrates his Fabriclive mix release and what better way to do it than a Concorde roof raiser!

Saturday 18 July, Concorde 2

The Poundance Like plugging your iPod into a ginormagantuan ghetto blaster. The guys know how to shake it up with a complete mash up of your fave indie, R’n’B, electro, house, dubstep and a squeeze of chart tracks. All served up through a monster Funktion One sound system and accompanied by a selection of pound drinks – responsibly drank, obviously.

Wednesday 15 July, Digital

Torture Garden The world’s largest and most famous fetish club returns to the seaside. Expect plenty of body art, twisted burlesque and a stimulating mix of hardon dance, sleazy electro house, dirty nu-skool breaks, glamour trash and rock’n’roll. Plus live performance from Kitty Bang Bang and Empress Stah. Fancy dress code is firmly enforced so let your imagination go wild.

Saturday 18 July, Ocean Rooms

Spiritual Element Presents Bukem In Session Spiritual Element has done it again dropping another massive line-up onto the bass heads of Brighton. This month they bring the most influential powerhouse and pioneer of the liquid, jungle and D’n’B scene, Roni Size.

Having not played in the city for over five years,

Darklight Never failing to rock you to the core of your bass bodies, Darklight unleash the awesome power of Dillinja on to-eth the fortunates.

Brixton lad, bass explorer of the nineties and Godfather of the D’n’B sound. Plus Logistics might just take us to the dark side...

Saturday 18 July, Volks

Sunday 19 Honey Club Sundelicious. 10pm–3am, £2/1.

The Open House We Change the Frequency Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free.

Monday 20 Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays.

10.30pm–3am, £3/free.

Honey Club Disco Babe.10.30pm–2.30am,£3/1.

Jam Sessions. D’n’B, dub step, electro and House. 10pm–2am, £tbc.

Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys.10pm–2.30am,£3/1 Jaime Pettit

Roni Size

To advertise here costs only £20 Call Rachel Bryant now!

01273 818150 ext 105

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latest

01273 687171

musicbar

open until 2.30am every night!

The city’s magical live music and party venue tues 14 july

turistas del flamenco plus soderone and dj ivan selecta flamenco, latin, spanish pop fusion band and dj and mc after the concert.

8pm til late £4 wed 15 july

st john’s college showcase social wine tasting

plus one presents an evening of snob-free wine-tasting. dual ticket price for you and a friend of the opposite sex:

rock’n’roll, grunge, country & pop/rock showcase, raising funds for this charity helping students with learning difficulties.

1.30pm til 3pm. voluntary donations

£39.00 or single: £25 7.30pm www.plusonesocial.com

thurs 16 july

8pm £5/4

www.myspace.com/losalbertos

fri 17 july

downstairs:

upstairs:

jacquemo

tremain

voodoo bluegrass techno ska mixed with a film score henry mancini style.

contemporary soul with progressive beats, brightly polished by rich harmonized vocals.

8pm, show starts 9pm. £7/6

8pm. £6/5

sat 18 july

downstairs: poleoke is a bit like karaoke for dancing. pole jam is a chance to have a go before the audience arrives. pole jam tickets include entry to the club. pole jam is from 7–8pm. £10 poleoke! is from 8–10pm. £5

www.poleoke.co.uk

sun 19 july

roast’n’jazz

01273 687171 or just come! *

subject to space

brighton rock photographer diana frangi’s exhibition of brighton musical personalities including fatboy slim, the maccabees, herbie flowers, the perils, chris difford, al perkins and many more. free and open all hours!

PARTIES now booking parties

&

followed by: soul reality collective ‘the psychedelic circus’; a contemporary twist to the best of the 60s groove rock/soul scene 10pm for 10.30pm. £8/£6

upstairs: ed hope & friends 5 piece alt folk/country. + joseph bond + support

8pm £1

vineyard

evening: delicious roast dinners superb live music. come join us for a & tunes from the jazz, unique wind down to your weekend. gospel soul and blues greats at its soulful best.

12.30pm–3.30pm £6.50

For TWO to any gig in July with this voucher*

diana frangi exhibition

radio reverb & access to music presents los albertos ska, punk, funk, dub and original beats + astro physics + malarki + djs.

FREE ADMISSION

7pm. free

weddings,

civil partnerships,

birthdays… …for the funkiest events call 01273 687171 and book the venue for

FREE• •subject to conditions

mon 20 july

musiccafe

hjaltalin

‘strangely beautiful orchestral pop’ (time out). the icelandic collective’s uk debut is cheeky and breezy – like fresh air in london.

8pm. £5/4

open for breakfast, lunch & dinner

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar 14 – 17 manchester street, brighton go to our website bn2 1tf. 100 metres up from the pier for tickets & listings

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7/8/09

1:51 PM

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GAY LISTINGS 27

Gay listings Tuesday 14 July to Monday 20 July Tuesday 14 Amsterdam Tuesday Social. Chase away the Monday blues with wine and music.

7pm, free Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity. 12pm, free Charles Street Bar Two’s Company. A double dose of cabaret from Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free Ghetto Quiz Alicious and Twisted Karaoke.

Hosted by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free Revenge Sound as a Pound. A mid-week mash-up throwing out 80s, 90s, 00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. 10.30pm, £1 The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome!

11pm–4am, free

Wednesday 15 Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free Brighton Tavern Wednesday’s Wine Club.

12pm, free Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and 80s. 10pm, £2.50 Latest Music Bar Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. From 7pm, £10 Legends Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm.11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre In-house Darts League. Nightly and annual prizes.

8pm, £3 Queen’s Arms Pride’s Got Talent – Heat 5.

Pitting Brighton’s most talented players against each other. 12pm–1am, free R-Bar Midweek Chill. DJ Li’l Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p bar rush! 12pm, free Revenge London to Brighton. Bringing the upfront house sounds of London ‘Taaahn’ to Brighton with MOS and Housexy resident, Jake Duval. 10.30pm–3am, £4/2 The Basement Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free

Thursday 16 Charles Street Bar & Club Mad Cow XXL – My Cow is on Fire. DJs Li’l Alex and LeeRoy spinning funky house across two floors 8pm–3am, £1 Ghetto HDSM. Hard, dirty sexy music.

10pm, £4/3 Marlborough Bar and Theatre Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-Bar Pre-Girls on Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls on Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes.10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30pm with passes, £4/5 after The Basement DLite. Commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free

Friday 17 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Doctor Brightons Flauncy Friday. Ms Masters gets her paws on the decks to spin some filthy funky dance and house. 9.30pm–2am, free Ghetto Popstarz. Indie. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girl’s Night. 2 floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes with DJ. Plus unlimited drinks wristbands for £20! 9pm

R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Lollipop vs Altitude.Top pop tunes from Stewart T plus upstairs find funky vocal house with DJ Alex Baker and guests.

10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag.

11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Thank Funk it’s Friday. Funk, disco and retro classics. 12pm.

The Zone Jennie Castell. In her first performance since giving birth... 9pm, free

Saturday 18 Charles Street Club Transister. DJ Tranny Dave and Just James spin all disco retro and new, plus twisted contemporary dance!

10.30pm–3am, £7/6 Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Queen Jo at the Marly. HRH Queen Josephine joins the Marlborough for a little funky house fabulousness. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Quinton + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30pm–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnight! Bar open 12pm, free R-Bar Kinky Classics. From 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics.10.30pm–4am, £7/3 The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart remixes from DJ Peter Castle.

11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Booty Call. DJ Rascall spins some body shakin’ summer rollers. 12pm, free.

The Zone Presents... Sally Vate. The international drag artist. 9.30pm, free

Sunday 19 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Roast then karaoke from 8pm.

12pm–1am, free Audio Sunday Sundae. Disco tinged classic dance with Kate Wildblood and co.

6pm, £5/3 Charles Street Bar Showtime. Mistress of the disguise and a wonder at the quick change it’s Titti La Camp! 7.15pm, free Ghetto Sirens. Burlesque night with pole and lap dancing shows. 9pm, free.

Legends Sunday Cabaret with Miss Jason.

3.15pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Kitty Litter and Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-Bar Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo.

12pm–2am, free Revenge Rainbow Beats. Funky house beats with a spanish twist. 10.30pm–4am, £tbc.

The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes.

11pm–4am, free

Monday 20 Amsterdam Funky Mondays. 12pm, free Charles Street Club Studio 150.

10pm–2am, £1.50 Ghetto Frat Party. Indie, electro and credible pop plus drinking games! 10pm, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Trans Night.

Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint + Karaoke. 12pm–1am R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. Regular cabaret, a Wii Zone and free pool!

10pm, free The Basement Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free

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7/9/09

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28 DANI | FILMS ON TV

latestTV

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE Dani on TV

14 – 20 JULY

She says it how she sees it

Chuck Virgin 1, Tuesdays, 9pm am sorry if you don’t have this channel, but I couldn’t not write about one of my favourite TV shows! Chuck is genius, the subject of the show is completely ridiculous but it is funny and so addictive. In the end it doesn’t matter that it is based on a man that has all the government’s secrets downloaded into his brain and then finds himself working with two spies who are supposed to be protecting him, only to fall in love with one of them, Sarah (if that is her real name). The only problem for Chuck is that he has to fight an army of bad guys while holding down his boring day job at an electronics store. Oh, and no one he knows can know about the computer in his brain – the Intersect.

Sounds nuts; it is, but it is highly watchable nonetheless. Series two is now in full swing. If you get a chance to see any of series one then do so. Although it is not imperative to the storyline it would probably help you understand what is happening. I accidentally stumbled upon Chuck and lost an entire day to the first series. And I fear that as soon as the second series pops onto DVD I will lose a day to that as well.

There is a charm to Chuck. Perhaps it’s because the main character and hero of the story is a nobody by day. Perhaps it is because he wears Converse. Maybe it is just Zachary Levi combined with Adam Baldwin (no relation to the Baldwin brothers in case you wondered). Or perhaps it is the love story that is not allowed.

Whatever it is that makes Chuck appealing it is clearly working.

Series three starts in America soon and will hopefully make it over here not long after the finale of series two.

Quite possibly, my favourite thing about this is the fact that (how sad am I?) the heroine, Sarah, wears sensible shoes. I am so bored of seeing girls in fight scenes wearing high heels (she does occasionally but most of the time she is flexing some flat, sensible shoes). It’s a bizarre thing to comment on but it is a pet hate of mine.

I imagine this series is doing so well because everyone likes a geek and that is what Chuck is; he is a computer nerd, who got kicked out of Stanford (or did he?) who finds himself fighting for the CIA. But if anything is going to get you watching it would be Chuck’s face when he flashes (sees an image that triggers the Intersect in his head). Those faces look as if they belong only in the actor’s most private of moments! What did the director tell him when the idea that Chuck should make ‘a face’ came up? Because it really isn’t all that flattering. But it adds to the charm that is Chuck. Try it. You might like it – you might not. I do – slightly too much!

I

Films on TV Top tips for your week of flicks TUESDAY 14

Bowfinger ★★★★✩ (1999, ITV2 ,10pm. Dir Frank Oz) Penned by and starring Steve Martin, this comedy brought Eddie Murphy back from the pasture of vanity movies he’d been put out to by the movie industry. Trying to make the lowest budget blockbuster but failing to grab his star, Bowfinger (Martin) hires a doppelganger (Murphy) and secretly shoots around his big name too. On form for both leads and the director.

WEDNESDAY 15

A Fish Called Wanda ★★★★✩ (1988, BBC1, 10.45pm.

Dir Charles Crichton) What is becoming a classic British comedy. When a jewel heist goes wrong and the chief thief gets nicked it’s up to the others to get him free with the best legal help around – John Cleese. Moll Jamie Lee Curtis plays the sexy siren well, trying to garner the loot for herself and Kevin Kline is magnificent as the unhinged Otto. Just don’t call him ‘crazy’.

THURSDAY 16

The Family Stone ★★★★✩ (2005, Film4, 7pm. Dir Thomas Bezucha) A comedy of errors as uptight Sarah Jessica Parker goes home with her boyfriend (Dermot Mulroney) for the holidays to meet his liberal family.

With continued foot-in-mouth disease she ends up calling for her sister as reinforcement – who the family all love, not making things any easier for SJP. A great gently ensemble comedy. Also stars Diane Keaton, Claire Danes, Luke Wilson and Rachel McAdams.

SATURDAY 18

Juno ★★★★★ (2007, Sky Movies 1, 1pm.

Dir Jason Reitman) Ellen Page suddenly came to our attention in this breakaway success of an indie drama comedy. Aged 15, Juno finds she is pregnant and not particularly interested in any further romantic liaisons with the baby’s father (Michael Cera)and so investigates her options. Beautifully acted and sharply scripted with a kick-ass soundtrack.

SUNDAY 19

Ever After ★★★✩✩ (1998, Film4, 6.40pm. Dir Andy Tennant) The story of Cinderella as told with a feisty 16th century girl as the central figure (Drew Barrymore) and Prince Charming as a bit of a spoilt and ignorant whimsy (Dougray Scott).

Obviously they both help each other grow etcetera but not before stepmother Angelica Houston and a few others have had their say.

MONDAY 20

Scream III ★★★★✩ (1999, Five, 10pm.Dir Wes Craven) The pastiche of a slasher film incorporates a pastiche further when Sidney (Neve Campbell) visits the film set of Stab 3, the fictional film franchise based on the murders that have surrounded her. Following all this? When cast members start dying in scripted order Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox Arquette) and officer Dewey (David Arquette) are on hand to help with the nerves.

Victoria Nangle

FRIDAY 17

The Getaway ★★★★★ (1972, BBC1, 11.40pm. Dir Sam Peckinpah) A Steve McQueen classic, in which he stars alongside real life wife Ali MacGraw as husband and wife on the run after a heist goes a bit Pete Tong.

With the crooked Sheriff and bent fellow robber hot on their heels, it’s McQueen’s love of cars and chases that shines here.

A Fish Called Wanda, Wednesday, 10.45pm, BBC1

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tuesday 14 CSI: Miami Five, 9pm Tonight’s case is nasty and personal, though thankfully not towards one of the CSIs, as we’ve had quite enough of that for the time being. Not that we expect them never to be affected by crime but still... Anyway, a therapist’s daughter is murdered and it is reckoned to be the job of one of her patients. But who?

You Have Been Watching Channel 4, 10pm TV’s l’enfant terrible Charlie Brooker is on a bit of a roll. After his own Screenwipe and Newswipe commentary on the state of television shows, he now seems to be moving closer to the dark side with his own terrestrial show. Still examining telly though.

Stay pure Charlie, with a comedy panel show. Of course.

Supersize Vs Superskinny E4, 10pm Ever since you get to an age where it’s not just sweets that you crave but other things like toast and Marmite, we become aware of what we eat. Ish. Telly’s most popular doc, Christian Jessen, swaps the diets of skinny Georgette and 28-stone Ameer to see if an exchange in grown-up cravings will balance them out.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Nuzzle And Scratch 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 Clash 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Maya And Miguel 8.25 Stake Out 8.55 Mortified 9.20 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 9.40 Basil’s Game Show 10.10 What’s New Scooby Doo? 10.30 The Owl 10.35 Beat The Boss 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Living In The Sun 2.00 Animal Park 2.30 Car Booty 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds Tony Blackburn and Alvin Stardust look for bargains at an antiques fair in Sussex to sell them for profit at auction in London.

7.00 On Thin Ice While TV presenter and adventurer Ben Fogle undergoes an intensive course of treatment for a lethal tropical illness, Olympic gold medallist James Cracknell and new third team mate Doctor Ed Coats keep training for the race to the South Pole.

8.00 Coast Coast returns for a brand new journey around the British Isles and for the first time visits the shores of our European neighbours.

9.00 Freefall Drama tackling the extraordinary financial crisis we are living through. Helmed by multipleBAFTA winning director Dominic Savage, the film takes a startling and provocative look at events that caused our lives to spiral in many different directions.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman.

11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series. While Stringer and Avon reminisce on how far they’ve come, the police wire begins to yield information about them.

12.25am BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Fuse

6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 9.00 Will And Grace 9.35 Will And Grace 10.05 The OC 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Begins Again 1.25 FILM: Campbell’s Kingdom (1958) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Speedway: World Cup 2009 12.00pm Poker: PCA High Rollers Event 1.00 Wild Spirits 1.30 Speedway: World Cup 2009 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 NFL – Total Access 11.30 Davis Cup Tennis 12.30am Pool: World Cup Of Pool 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 NFL – Total Access 3.00 Sailing: World Match Tour 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Davis Cup Tennis 5.00 Sailing: Volvo Ocean Race

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A guilty Bob is stunned when Viv returns after her stint in prison. To beat him up?

8.00 Homes From Hell Programme documenting the housing horrors that some homeowners have had to deal with. Not all though, not all.

9.00 Trial And Retribution Connor and the team investigate an audacious murder – an ambulance run off the road, and its patient shot in the head. Media interest is high when the victim’s identity is revealed – Sebastian Cole, engaged to the tabloids’ favourite ‘It Girl’ Imogen Buller-Turi. It becomes clear that this is not a simple case of road rage.

Who has road rage at an ambulance?! Silly, silly plot people.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Trial And Retribution In the second of the two-part crime drama, Imogen’s mother makes an emotional appeal for her return.

11.35 Hollywood Lives: The Beckhams And The Brits A look at the Californian lifestyle of the Beckhams after the former England captain made his move to LA Galaxy.

12.05am Supernatural 12.45 Goodwood Festival Of Speed 2009 1.40 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.30 Loose Women 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Despite her blatant lack of interest, Darren persists in his attempts to seduce Hannah. He’s nothing if not dogged and arrogant in the face of rejection.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Property Snakes And Ladders Sarah Beeny looks at how first-time developers might succeed as house prices are decidedly less rosy. Sarah advises the developers of an abandoned railway station in Devon, who want to use the renovated property to launch a holiday rental business. They’re still in train-ing.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house.

10.00 You Have Been Watching See highlights.

10.50 The Inbetweeners Sitcom about four teenagers growing up in suburbia. Wills is planning a suitably grown-up dinner for his birthday with a few close friends and any girls they can persuade to come.

11.25 Rude Tube Matt Kirshen celebrates the funniest and most notorious internet videos.

11.55 Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 12.55am Big Brother: Live 4.00 Volvo Ocean Race 4.50 Gillette World Sport 5.15 The Cooper Tyres British Formula 3 International Series 5.45 GT4 European Cup

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Roary The Racing Car 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Mio Mao 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Generation Gap (2008) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ruby discovers that Charlie slept with Angelo. How? Is she the Sleeping Beauty monitor or something?

6.30 Rough Guide To Mediterranean Islands Toby enjoys some action on and around the Aeolian Islands, and Julia visits two island gems off the coast of Croatia.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Vets In Action Doc series following four teams of country vets.

8.00 Monster Moves Disused paddle steamer the SS President is in deep trouble. Entrepreneur Sereta Barnes has an ambitious plan to turn the ship into a luxury hotel – but will the neglected vessel survive the 130km journey? And who will sing the most songs from Show Boat?

9.00 CSI: Miami See highlights.

10.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. Mac uncovers a murder on board a commercial flight and must set up a makeshift crime lab to catch the killer. Mac’s clever though. Good job.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Grissom and Sara race against time to find the kidnapped wife of a millionaire before it’s too late.

12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 2.00 Seniors Golf 2.50 NHRA Drag Racing 4.20 Great North Run 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Christian comes to Syed’s aid. How long are those two going to waltz around each other for?

8.00 Holby City Sparks fly between Oliver and Daisha as he lands her in trouble with a patient. On Keller, Donna comes face-to-face with a surprising patient: her father. This could tell us a lot about the tickings of Donna. Hmm. 9.00 What’s Really In Our Food?

Food is the most important thing we buy, but can we trust what we are eating? Reporters Tom Heap and Simon Boazman set off on a mission to find out, revealing the tricks of food labelling and uncovering the murky world of food fraud. Effective deterrent to late might snacking.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... The Colourful Mr Eggleston Alan Yentob explores the work of William Eggleston, one of the most influential and original photographers alive today.

11.25 FILM: London To Brighton (2006) Starring Lorraine Stanley, Johnny Harris. Award-winning gritty drama following a prostitute and a young girl as they escape London.

12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: NASA: Triumph And Tragedy (x2) 2.50 Heir Hunters 3.35 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Spruce Meadows 9.00 Bowls (x2) 11.00 Volvo Ocean Race 12.00pm Spruce Meadows 1.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 2.00 Volvo Ocean Race 3.00 Spruce Meadows 4.00 Poker: PCA High Rollers Event 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Carp Academy 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 Davis Cup Tennis 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 12.00am Volvo Ocean Race 1.00 Sailing: World Match Tour 1.30 Carp Academy 2.00 Sports Unlimited 3.00 Women’s Pool 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.00am British Rally Championship 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Bowls (x2) 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Bowls (x2) 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Football Asia 7.30 Mountain Bike World 8.00 Bowls (x2) 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Carp Academy 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Bowls (x2) 2.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm The Biggest Loser 1.00 Top Design 2.00 Lost 3.00 Bones 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 House 10.00 The Real Full Monty 11.30 Bones 12.30am Road Wars (x2) 2.15 Ross Kemp On Gangs 3.05 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.45 Road Wars

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 Personal Affairs 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Bizarre ER 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Britney Spears Saved My Life 12.45am Make My Body Younger 1.45 Bizarre ER 2.15 Snog Marry Avoid?

2.45 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 South Pacific 9.00 How To Be Old With Nicholas Craig 10.00 The Chaser’s War On Everything 10.30 Flight Of The Conchords 11.00 Getting On 11.30 John Mortimer: A Life In Words 12.30am How To Be Old With Nicholas Craig 1.30 Only Connect

5.15pm Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 9.00 Katie Price Exclusive Uncut With Piers Morgan 10.00 FILM: Bowfinger (1999) 11.55 FILM: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) 2.00am The Office: An American Workplace (x2)

2.55pm Wycliffe 4.00 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Vanity Dies Hard 5.05 Rising Damp 5.45 Heartbeat 6.45 On The Buses 7.20 Carry On Laughing 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 FILM: Memphis Belle (1990) 11.05 Martina Cole’s Dangerous Lady 12.10am Reckless 1.15 Dempsey And Makepeace

4.00pm The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny. See highlights. 11.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.50 Big Brother: Live 12.00am Big Brother: Live

3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Taking Liberties 12.05am Come Dine With Me

1.45pm The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Four Weddings 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Ghost Hunters

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.00pm Weaponology 3.00 World War II: The Complete History 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop: London Garage 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Alaska’s Great Race 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls (x2) 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA

12.00pm Quantum Leap (x4) 4.00 FILM: Riddles Of The Sphinx (2008) 6.10 FILM: Polar Storm (2009) 8.00 Knight Rider 9.00 Dollhouse 10.00 FILM: The Lost Treasure Of The Grand Canyon (2008) 11.50 FILM: Thrill Seekers (1999) 2.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel

3.20pm Abbott And Costello Meet The Mummy (1955) 4.45 How To Steal A Million (1966) 7.00 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 9.00 McLintock! (1963) 11.10 Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 12.55am Cape Fear (1962) 2.50 Abbott And Costello Meet The Mummy (1955)

10.55am Tell No One (2006) 1.10pm Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 3.00 December Boys (2007) 4.55 The Movie Geek 5.25 Tell No One (2006) 7.40 Ride With The Devil (1999) 10.00 Blood Simple (1984) 11.40 The Escapist (2001) 1.15am The Edge Of Heaven (2007)

11.00am Hoppity Goes To Town (1941) 12.45pm Carmen Jones (1954) 2.50 North To Alaska (1960) 5.10 The Black Tent (1956) 7.00 Bad News Bears (1976) 9.00 I, Robot (2004) 11.10 The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad (1988) 12.50am Smiles Of A Summer Night (1955)

11.20am The Big Trees (1952) 1.00pm The Great Bank Robbery (1969) 3.00 How The West Was Won (1962) 5.55 Offset: Terry Gilliam 6.40 Classic Shorts 08 7.00 The Gumball Rally (1976) 9.00 City Of Angels (1998) 11.15 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (1973) 1.20am City Of Angels (1998)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.20 Harry Enfield And Chums 11.00 Only Fools And Horses 12.15am Murder Most Horrid 12.55 Harry Enfield And Chums

4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 South Park 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)

Classics

Indie

030_LS432_TV_Wed

7/9/09

9:21 AM

Page 1

wednesday 15 Who Do You Think You Are? BBC1, 9pm The celebrity genealogy series kicks off again with the lady of the hour, Davina McCall. A child of divorced parents, half-French and brought up by her paternal grandmother – there’s a whole load of French stuff she knows nothing about. Plus, there’s a rumour her English side is related to the Queen. What a to do!

Taking The Flak BBC2, 10pm This sitcom starring Martin Jarvis and Doon Mackichan is billed as being part ‘Drop The Dead Donkey’, part regular sitcom. Set around a news team, there’s a panic when Alex declares a code red in war torn Karibu, and the Chief Foreign Editor is worried that means the Yanks will park their tanks on his lawn.

Gossip Girl ITV2, 8pm The overprivileged are being just as tortured as ever. Lily remembers her wild past and how she met her future husband Keith, proving that wild antics are ageless and easy to pass on to your kids. Speaking of which, Serena is not best pleased when she discovers that Lily had her arrested deliberately. Boo!

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Nuzzle And Scratch 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 7.00 8.00 Maya And Miguel 8.25 Stake Out 8.55 Krypto The Superdog 9.05 Krypto The Superdog 9.20 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 9.40 Basil’s Game Show 10.10 What’s New Scooby Doo? 10.30 Beat The Boss 11.00 Alien Empire 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm Castle In The Country 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Animal Park 2.30 Car Booty 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Escape To The Country

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Fuse

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Will And Grace 9.35 Will And Grace 10.05 The OC 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Begins Again 1.30 FILM: Doctor At Large (1957) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 11.30 Football Asia 12.00pm Davis Cup Tennis 1.00 Sailing: World Match Tour 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Golf: PGA Tour 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 10.30 Ashes Poker 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 1.30 Poker 3.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Real Rescues Nick Knowles presents one of the most difficult road rescues ever carried out by the fire service, in which a 20-ton lorry must be lifted to free a woman trapped by the wheels. Sounds like a job for Superman!

8.00 Seaside Rescue Documentary series following Britain’s maritime rescue services. In Brixham, a lifeboat launches into a storm to help a local trawler stranded in savage seas with no power and no steering.

9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Jodie Prenger is live from Lottery HQ. Giving hope to all with a credit card.

10.45 FILM: A Fish Called Wanda (1988) Starring John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin.

Black comedy in which a con artist uses her charms to steal jewels from her gangster boyfriend, taking sexual advantage of his henchman and a lawyer to realise her cunning plan.

That’s some wiley wiles!

12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: On Thin Ice Presenter 1.30 Terror! Robespierre And The French Revolution 3.00 Celebrity MasterChef 4.00 Heir Hunters 4.45 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds TV presenters Vanessa Feltz and Nicki Chapman go head-to-head to see who is the best at spotting antique bargains.

7.00 The Culture Show Miranda Sawyer presents from the Manchester International Festival.

Lots really. And more too.

7.50 Dean The Diving Decorator Wildlife documentary. Dean is a painter and decorator by trade, but he dreams of being a wildlife cameraman.

8.00 Home For Life After 14 years in a world of magnolia and oversized furniture, an Essex couple decide to tackle their nondescript home, while a couple in Aston have recently bought a million pound house, but hate the dated décor. Time for some snazzy décor, we thinks.

9.00 Dragons’ Den The banks may not be parting with their funds right now, but will our multi-millionaire Dragons still be prepared to back the best business with their own money?

10.00 Taking The Flak See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Golf: The Open 2009 – Preview Gary Linekar discussing what’s likely to happen when the whole thing kicks off.

12.20am BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie is unimpressed when Cain interferes in her love life. But hardly surprised by now, surely.

7.30 Coronation Street A jealous Sophie accuses Ben of fancying Rosie. It’s hard to be virtuous when your sister’s rich, beautiful and without scruples. (sigh) 8.00 The Bill Jason Devlin makes a formal complaint about Smithy - and there is a witness. But as the witness is one of Jason’s tenants, CID hope to establish that he is being paid to lie by the Devlins. That’s alright then.

9.00 Real 999 Calls A Tonight special featuring actual 999 emergency call recordings and heroic tales as the paramedics, police or fire service arrive to do their job.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Mission To The Moon – News From 1969 On the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission to the moon, John Suchet reports on the day’s news from 1969.

10.45 Total Emergency Series which follows the work of the three emergency services in Sheffield.

11.45 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Action Stations 12.45am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.35 Loose Women 2.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tony asks Cindy whether she’s only with him for his money. Wonder what she’ll say.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Embarrassing Teenage Bodies The Embarrassing Bodies doctors revisit some of their teenage patients. Carly, 19, suffers from excess skin. Charlotte, 18, fears her excess sweating is ruining her future.

Claudia, 13, is being bullied because of her extreme eczema.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house.

10.00 Ugly Betty Drama comedy series. Daniel receives some shocking family news. Gio rebuffs Betty’s apologies. Hilda makes a difficult decision about Coach Diaz. All in the brightest technicolour outfits.

11.00 Skins Drama series following the chaotic lives of a group of Bristol teenagers. Thomas arrives alone in the UK from the Congo and has to find somewhere for his family to live.

He finds an abandoned flat owned by local gangster Johnny White. Now, that seems like a good idea intitially but if you look closer it’s utter...

12.00am 4 Music: 4Play: Florence And The Machine: Live 12.35 Dirty Sexy Money 1.25 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 Revelations: Commando Chaplains 5.25 Countdown

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Mio Mao 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 FILM: Columbo: Uneasy Lies The Crown (1990) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Lachie wrestles with the possibility of being paralysed. Belle makes a mysterious visit to hospital. They’re keeping a truckload of possibilities up there for everyone to wrestle with at leisure.

6.30 Rough Guide To Classic Road Trips Julia hits US Route 1 bound for Florida’s Key West and Toby enjoys the sights of Bavaria from behind the wheel of a Porsche. NeeEEE-YOow! 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Mean Machines This episode looks at bulldozers - from tiny machines to massive six metre-high monsters. Teach Tonka a thing or two.

8.00 Build A New Life In The Country A couple hope to transform a 19th-century Norfolk barn into a four-bedroom home. The plan depends on selling the barn’s annex to raise funds for the work, but the global economic downturn puts the whole scheme in jeopardy.

9.00 FILM: The Patriot (2000) Starring Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger, Joely Richardson, Tcheky Karyo, Jason Isaacs. American Revolution drama in which a widowed farmer forms a regiment of Carolina patriots, whose guerrilla tactics prove pivotal to the US war effort.

12.10am PartyPoker.com European Open V The PartyPoker.com 1.45 IndyCar 2.35 Cricket On Five 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Davis Cup Tennis 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 Sailing: World Match Tour 10.00 Golf: PGA Euro Pro Tour 12.00pm Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 2.00 Davis Cup Tennis 3.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 7.30 European Tour Weekly 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 Boots ‘n’ All 1.30 Cage Fighting: Ultimate Challenge UK 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Women’s Pool 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 10.00am Carp Academy 10.30 Mountain Bike World 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Pool: World Cup 1.00 Carp Academy 1.30 Mountain Bike World 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Sailing: World Match Tour 3.00 Women’s Pool 4.00 Pool: World Cup 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Showjumping 8.00 Golf: PGA Tour 10.00 Cage Fighting 11.30 World Tenpin Masters 12.30am Golf: PGA Euro Pro Tour 2.30 Watersports World 3.30 Close Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm Lost 3.00 Bones 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 FILM: Liar Liar (1997) 10.40 Gangster Wives 11.40 Ross Kemp On Gangs 12.40am Road Wars (x2) 2.35 Stargate SG-1 (x2)

7.00pm T: Ting Tings & Franz Ferdinand 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 FILM: Starsky And Hutch (2004) 10.35 Family Guy (x2) 11.25 Little Britain 11.55 The Real Hustle On Holiday 12.25am Bizarre ER 12.55 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 1.55 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways 2.50 The Real Hustle On Holiday

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Once A Soldier 8.00 Days That Shook The World 9.00 The Trials Of Oppenheimer 10.30 Getting On 11.00 FILM: The Mother (2003) 12.50am The Trials Of Oppenheimer 2.20 Batman 2.45 Batman 3.10 Days That Shook The World 5.30 Close

5.15pm Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 Gossip Girl.

See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Pretty Woman (1990) 11.25 Coronation Street 11.55 FILM: The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) 2.00am Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show

12.30pm Rising Damp 1.00 Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.00 Wycliffe 4.05 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Vanity Dies Hard 5.15 Rising Damp 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 On The Buses (x2) 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 11.00 FILM: The Mission (1986) 1.25am Dempsey And Makepeace

3.00pm Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Monster-in-Law (2005) 11.05 You Have Been Watching 11.55 A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila 12.55am Big Brother: Live

4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 What Sank The Mary Rose?

11.05 Dispatches 12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 1.10 Time Team

11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (X2) 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (X2) 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Blood Ties

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.00pm Weaponology 3.00 World War II: The Complete History 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop: London Garage 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 20th Anniversary: Viewers’ Top Five 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Most Evil

11.00am Jericho (x5) 4.00 FILM: Termination Point (2007) 6.10 FILM: Fire From Below (2009) 8.00 FILM: Toxic Skies (2008) 9.50 FILM: Countdown: The Sky’s On Fire (1998) 11.40 FILM: Meltdown: Days Of Destruction (2006) 1.30am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x3) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho

10.35 Road To Bali (1952) 12.15pm Tora! Tora! Tora!

(1970) 2.40 Marty (1955) 4.15 The Diary Of Anne Frank (1959) 7.10 Bandolero! (1968) 9.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 11.25 The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie (1969) 1.25am Marty (1955) 3.00 Road To Morocco (1942)

9.00am Detroit Rock City (1999) 10.40 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 1.10pm McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 3.20 The Serpent (2006) 5.30 Clubland (2007) 7.30 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 10.00 McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 12.05am Detroit Rock City (1999) 1.45 Ten Canoes (2006)

11.00am It’s In The Bag (1945) 12.45pm Whirlpool (1949) 2.40 Girls! Girls!

Girls! (1962) 4.35 Gulliver’s Travels (1939) 6.10 Anna And The King (1999) 9.00 Snakes On A Plane (2006) 11.05 California Dreamin’ (2007) 2.05am Resurrected (1989)

9.55am Offset: Terry Gilliam 10.40 Classic Shorts 08 10.55 The Gumball Rally (1976) 1.00pm The Bobo (1967) 3.00 Jeremiah Johnson (1972) 5.15 The Naked Runner (1967) 7.20 Murder At The Gallop (1963) 9.00 Any Given Sunday (1999) 12.00am Rollover (1981) 2.15 Any Given Sunday (1999)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?

7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.20 Harry Enfield And Chums 10.55 Only Fools And Horses 12.20am Hippies 1.00 Harry Enfield And Chums

5.00PM Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 The Office: An American Workplace 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men 12.10am Two And A Half Men

Classics

Indie

031_LS432_TV_Thurs

7/9/09

9:32 AM

Page 1

thursday 16 Living With Michael Jackson: A Tonight Special ITV1, 9pm Another chance to catch the controversial Martin Bashir documentary, filmed over six months with the King of Pop and with far-reaching repercussions.

This edited version sees the star showing us around Neverland and also on tour in Germany.

Make your own mind up.

The Death Of Respect BBC2, 11.20pm John Ware asks – whatever happened to British values and behaviour? No rose-tinted retro look at things ‘back in our day’, more a realisation that Britain leads Europe in obesity, public drunkeness, drug use and STIs, as well as family breakdowns. Do ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ really go a long way? It would seem so.

Dollhouse Sci Fi, 10pm Things are hotting up a bit for Echo and the gang in this Joss Buffy Whedon created science fiction yarn. There’s a spy in the Dollhouse, and while we’re not really sure if that’s a good or a bad thing, it’s something we want to get to the bottom of. So Echo and Sierra slip into kick-ass-ladymode and investigate. Go girls!

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 SMart 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Maya And Miguel 8.20 Thumb Wrestling Federation 8.25 Do Something Different 9.00 Golf: The Open

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Fuse

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Will And Grace 9.35 Will And Grace 10.05 The OC 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Begins Again 1.25 FILM: Victim (1961) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 (x2) 7.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 10.30 Ashes Poker 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 2009 2.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 2.30 Ashes Poker 4.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Christian’s romantic hopes are cruelly dashed, while Ben prevents Phil from making a horrible, violent mistake. Good ol’ Ben! 8.00 Traffic Cops The challenges facing Britain’s road police.

9.00 New Tricks Drama featuring an eccentric group of ex-police officers brought out of retirement to investigate unsolved crimes. Brian Lane reluctantly goes into rehab to treat his alcoholism, but a chance remark leads the rest of the UCOS team to join him as they reinvestigate the death of a heroin addict at the clinic nine years earlier. You can’t keep ‘em apart. Ah. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the show from Colchester. The panel includes the Communities Secretary John Denham, Liberal Democrat Lembit Opik and the editor of the Financial Times, Lionel Barber.

11.35 This Week A political review of the week with Andrew Neil, Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott.

12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 In The Firing Line 1.25 Countryfile 2.20 Celebrity MasterChef 3.20 Heir Hunters

8.00pm Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey Rick Stein takes the viewer on an epic culinary journey by sea, down rivers and overland to explore the Far East’s diverse food cultures.

He begins his odyssey in Cambodia, where he discovers the joys of freshly caught swimmer crabs cooked with green peppercorns from Kampot, once the king of pepper. Yum! 9.00 Mock The Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. Host Dara O’Briain is joined by regulars Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons and special guests Rhod Gilbert and Tom Stade.

9.30 That Mitchell And Webb Look Comedy sketch show starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb.

Features some unusual services you can get on your phone, including all of Wagner’s operas by text; some people have a bit of a problem with a giant evil robot; and Rob gives David a less-than-relaxing massage.

10.00 Psychoville Dark comedy thriller series. Mr Jolly explains to Mr Jelly the reason for the blackmail letters. Ooh! The detail in a consonant. Spelling is important, kids.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Death Of Respect See highlights.

12.20am BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie agrees to let Andy see Sarah. This sounds like an interesting plot turn.

7.30 Countrywise Paul Heiney and the team continue their summer journey across Britain, visiting the most visually spectacular and unusual parts of the country.

8.00 The Bill On the morning of the court case, a distraught Ara Byat calls to say that her niece has gone missing. It seems that the Devlins have taken her to stop Khaled Hasiq from testifying. Forced to take the stand, Smithy faces a barrage of accusations – but will he lie in order to obtain justice? Oh, the world can be a difficult place!

9.00 Living With Michael Jackson: A Tonight Special See highlights.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Mission To The Moon – News From 1969 John Suchet and the team report on the day’s news from 1969.

10.45 Cops With Cameras The programme goes on the front-line with police as they wage war on crime and baddies.

11.45 The Last Word 12.15am British Superbike Championship Highlights 1.05 Motorsport UK 1.55 Supernatural 2.40 Loose Women 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Theresa decides to introduce Newt to the family as her boyfriend. Brace yourself boy, you’ve got the McQueens to win over.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 The Home Show A family of hoarders from Harrow are in desperate need of more space.

Things are so bad the eldest son, who is over six foot tall, sleeps in a room with no space to fit a door or wardrobe. Architect George Clarke helps out. Maybe a beaded curtain for privacy?

9.00 Gerry’s Big Decision Entrepreneur Sir Gerry Robinson provides failing British companies with a financial lifeline. Gerry has to decide whether to come to the aid of two family businesses – a hotel chain that has been affected by a father and son’s decisions, and a series of department stores.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house.

11.10 The TNT Show Jack Whitehall and Holly Walsh present a late-night entertainment show.

11.40 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat Psychological illusionist.

12.10am You Have Been Watching 1.00 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 Dispatches: The Children Britain Betrayed 5.20 Countdown

6.00–7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Roary The Racing Car 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Mio Mao 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.00 FILM: Execution Of Justice (1999) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Geoff evicts Claudia. Rachel hosts a baby shower.

6.30 Rough Guide To The Great Outdoors Toby heads to Norway to explore some of the most unspoilt landscapes in Europe.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the second Ashes Test between England and Australia at Lord’s.

8.00 Britain’s Nazi King – Revealed Edward VIII is popularly remembered as the king who gave up the throne for the woman he loved.

Yet his reputation has been tarnished by revelations that Hitler planned to install him as a pro-Nazi king. Who’s right? What is right? Is right really all that’s left?

9.00 The Mentalist Two executives at a private-equity firm are murdered, leading the agents to suspect the work of a disgruntled investor.

10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit A woman is found in a bathroom next to the battered body of her boyfriend’s brother. Open and shut cases won’t fill up an hour’s TV. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When a woman is murdered while on the phone with a 911 operator, Goran and Eames soon realise she is the latest killed by the same person.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NFL Classics 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Trans World Sport 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00pm Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 12.30 Total Rugby 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All 2.00 Powerboat P1 2009 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Boots ‘n’ All 4.30 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 LIVE Speedway World Cup 9.00 Spirit Of Yachting: Rolex Farr 40 World Champs 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 NFL – Total Access 11.00 Speedway World Cup 2.00am Close

Sky Sports 3 9.00am Powerboat P1 2009 10.00 Showjumping 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 World Tenpin Masters 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Carp Academy 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 World Tenpin Masters 5.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 6.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.30 Race World 7.30 LIVE: Live Rugby League: National League 9.30 WWE: Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Rugby League: National League 2.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Top Design 2.00 Lost (x2) 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Bones 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 1.50 Road Wars

7.00pm Most Annoying People 2008 7.15 FILM: Meet The Parents (2000) 9.00 Pregnancy: My Big Decision 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle On Holiday 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Pregnancy: My Big Decision 12.45am Britney Spears Saved My Life 1.40 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Hidden Histories 8.00 Legends: The Beverley Sisters – Tickled Pink 9.00 The Grandparent Diaries 10.00 The Waiting Room 10.30 Wallander 12.00am Later...with Jools Holland 1.05 The Grandparent Diaries 2.05 Getting On 2.35 The High Life 3.05 The Grandparent Diaries

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (X2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 ITunes Festival 2009 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.00 Entourage 10.30 FILM: Gone In 60 Seconds (2000) 12.50am ITunes Festival 2009 1.45 America’s Got Talent

3.35pm The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: A Case Of Coincidence 4.40 Monarch Of The Glen 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses (x2) 8.00 Martin Clunes: A Man And His Dogs 9.00 Ladies Of Letters 9.30 Rising Damp 10.00 The Forsyte Saga 11.35 Numb3rs 12.35am Dempsey And Makepeace 1.20 Cracker

3.00pm Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Reaper 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 Rude Tube 11.00 The Kevin Bishop Show 11.30 Fonejacker 12.00am Big Brother: Live

5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies 10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 11.00 Without A Trace 12.05am Embarrassing Bodies 1.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

1.45pm The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Private Practice 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Criminal Minds (x2) 2.00 Charmed 3.00 The Biggest Loser UK 3.50 Boston Legal

G.O.L.D

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.00pm The Holy Grail 2.00 Weaponology 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop: London Garage 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Extreme Loggers 10.00 Deadliest Catch 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA

11.00am Angel (x5) 4.00 FILM: Toxic Skies (2008) 6.00 FILM: Rocketman (1997) 8.00 Bionic Woman 9.00 My Own Worst Enemy 10.00 Dollhouse. See highlights. 11.00 Knight Rider 12.00am FILM: Spirit Trap (2005) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho

12.30pm Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 2.25 A Tree Grows In Brooklyn (1945) 4.40 The Movie Geek 5.10 Call Northside 777 (1948) 7.05 Johnny Guitar (1954) 9.00 The Longest Day (1962) 12.00am Romeo And Juliet (1968) 2.20 The Pawnbroker (1965) 4.25 A Tree Grows In Brooklyn (1945)

12.40pm Girlfight (2000) 2.30 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 4.30 Be Kind Rewind (2008) 6.15 Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 8.15 Tumbleweeds (1999) 10.00 The Air I Breathe (2007) 11.40 Girlfight (2000) 1.35am Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 3.40 The Air I Breathe (2007)

11.00am The Householder (1963) 1.10pm Distant Drums (1951) 3.10 The Left Hand Of God (1955) 4.55 Doctor In Clover (1965) 7.00 The Family Stone (2005) 9.00 Behind Enemy Lines (2001) 11.05 The Fifth Element (1997) 1.30am The Truth About Cats And Dogs (1995)

7.25am Jeremiah Johnson (1972) 9.25 The Naked Runner (1967) 11.30 Murder At The Gallop (1963) 1.00pm She’s Back On Broadway (1953) 3.00 Charro! (1969) 4.55 The Time Machine (1960) 6.55 Bombers B-52 (1957) 9.00 Gods And Generals (2003) 1.40am Superfly (1972) 3.20 Trog (1970)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 One Foot In The Grave 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.20 Harry Enfield And Chums 11.00 Only Fools And Horses 12.05am Jam And Jerusalem 12.45 Porridge

4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40 South Park (x2)

Classics

Indie

032_LS432_TV_Fri

7/9/09

9:39 AM

Page 1

friday 17 Farrah’s Story Channel 4, 7.30pm The death of Farrah Fawcett has been somewhat overlooked in the wake of the media frenzy that is Michael Jackson’s passing. A talented actress and a lauded pin-up of the 70s that pioneered a haircut all of her own. With complicated relationships with Lee Majors and Ryan O’Neal, hers is quite a tale. RIP.

Friday Night With Jonathan Ross BBC1, 10.35pm It’ll be mayhem tonight, you great gallahs, as Dame Edna Everage takes over the sofa and more than likely terrorises the Green Room too. She won’t like it though, as she’s not the only megastar on tonight as she’s joined by Bono and The Edge, plus Anjelica Huston. Class.

Agatha Christie’s Poirot ITV3, 8pm Dum, de dum, de dum. Dum, dum, dum. Even the theme tune is reassuring, so you just know that M. Hercule Poirot won’t fail to make the world a tidier and clearer place. Something that’s generally required by the time Friday swings around. Tonight there’s a deception at a film studio. Good thing we have Poirot.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.05 Basil’s Game Show 4.35 Hotel Trubble 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Maya And Miguel 8.20 Thumb Wrestling Federation 8.25 Do Something Different 9.00 Golf: The Open

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Fuse

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.05 Will And Grace 9.35 Will And Grace 10.05 The OC 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 My Place In The Sun 1.00 Small Railway Journeys 1.20 FILM: They Who Dare (1953) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Mio Mao 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Flower Girl (2009) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 (x2) 7.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 7.30 Gillette World Sport 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 Friday Fight Night Live 12.00am Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 12.30 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 2.30 Test Cricket 3.30 Friday Fight Night 5.30 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Air Medics A look at the work of the Great North Air Ambulance.

8.00 EastEnders It is Bianca’s birthday, but Whitney gets the surprise as Stacey plays a disturbing detective game. Will it match the surprise Bianca got on Whitney’s birthday? Here’s hoping not.

8.30 As Seen On TV Steve Jones hosts the celebrity TV quiz, with classic clips, hilarious outtakes and the best of current TV. Does anyone else think that the word ‘hilarious’ is overused in the media? Ho hum.

9.00 Hotel Babylon When Emily’s estranged father turns up at Babylon, she wants him to leave. But he has something he needs to tell her first.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross See highlights.

11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: The Getaway (1972) Starring Steve McQueen, Ali McGraw. Tense thriller about a bank robber’s chase to the Mexican border after he and his wife are doublecrossed by a powerful crime lord.

1.40am Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: Mary Portas: Save Our Shops 2.45 Celebrity MasterChef 3.15 Heir Hunters 4.00 BBC News

8.00pm First Night Of The Proms From the Royal Albert Hall the 115th Proms season launches with the BBC Symphony Orchestra under the baton of chief conductor Jirí Belohlávek.

Clive Anderson introduces an exciting mix of music by Elgar, Brahms, Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky; and performances by singers Ailish Tynan and Alice Coote, and pianists Stephen Hough, and Katia and Marielle Labeque. During the interval there’s discussion and chat with the artists and some special guests. So much more than ‘pom, pom de pom’.

10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler.

11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme with Martha Kearney.

11.35 T: Highlights Edith Bowman, Nick Grimshaw and Reggie Yates present highlights from the 2009 T in the Park festival at Kinross, Scotland, including performances from The Killers, Elbow, Razorlight, Lily Allen, Lady Gaga, Keane, Pet Shop Boys, Snow Patrol, Manic Street Preachers and The Ting Tings. Plus there’s exclusive performances from the BBC Three InTimate stage and behind-thescenes reports from Matt Edmondson. Probably no relation to Ade Edmondson. Probably.

1.35am The Wire (x2)

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ash offers Calvin a substantial sum of money to take part in the illegal fight. When Ravi finds out Calvin is his opponent, Calvin offers to throw the fight. This is sounding less and less kosha.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Farrah’s Story See highlights.

9.00 Big Brother Davina announces the results of the latest eviction vote live into the Big Brother house. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours.

Lots of jumping up and down.

10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show alongside team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. Tonight’s guests include Patrick Kielty, Rhod Gilbert and Shappi Khorsandi.

10.35 Big Brother The latest housemate to be evicted from the Big Brother house returns to the outside world and is interviewed by Davina about their time inside. It was special. And growing. A true learning process. Not forgetting life-changing.

11.05 The Simpsons 11.35 Russell Brand’s Ponderland The foppish comedian delivers his thoughts on the world around him.

12.10am 4 Music: The Shockwaves Album Chart Show 12.40 JD Set Presents 12.55 4Play 1.10 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home And Away Tensions rise between Xavier, Hugo and Angelo.

A soft porn magazine causes trouble.

It was making faces, calling names – an all-round scoundrel!

6.30 Rough Guide To Island Retreats Toby uncovers the hidden delights of Zanzibar. Julia retreats to tranquil Formentera, a stone’s throw from the madness of Ibiza.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the second Ashes Test between England and Australia at Lord’s.

8.00 Air Force Afghanistan Documentary series chronicling life for the British servicemen and women stationed at Kandahar air base in southern Afghanistan.

9.00 NCIS Drama series following the Navy’s dedicated federal agency.

McGee breaks the rules to help his sister after she shows up at his apartment bloody and disorientated.

Meanwhile, the rest of the NCIS team investigates the case of a murdered sailor who appears to be connected to the first incident.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Logan and Wheeler probe the death of a former child star.

11.00 CSI: Miami The CSIs investigate the brutal murder of a therapist’s daughter.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy clashes with the farm’s new tenants. It’s not their fault you’ve lost the farm, dude!

7.30 Coronation Street Jack is taken aback to discover where Connie lives. Is it a castle? With turrets? And a dragon? Probably not a dragon.

8.00 Airline Two passengers who missed their flights the previous day finds only one has been rebooked.

8.30 Coronation Street Ashley receives some grave news about Claire’s condition. Oh no.

9.00 Doc Martin Portwenn is buzzing with the news of Martin and Louisa’s engagement - but Aunt Joan is disappointed that she has to hear about the impending nuptials from the village postman rather than her own nephew. Major faux pas there.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Mission To The Moon – News From 1969 On the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission to the moon, John Suchet reports on the day’s news from 1969.

10.45 FILM: The Gauntlet (1977) Starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke. Action-packed police adventure about a tough cop who must escort a key witness to trial.

12.45am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.40 FILM: Children Of Heaven (1997) 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Speedway World Cup 12.00pm Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 12.30 Race World 1.30 Speedway World Cup 4.30 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 LIVE: Super League 10.00 Ashes Poker 11.30 NFL – Total Access 12.30am Super League 2.30 Ashes Poker 4.00 Super League

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE Raw 9.00 Rugby League: National League 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Rugby League: National League 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 Spirit Of Yachting: Rolex Farr 40 World Champs 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 LIVE: Rugby Union: Currie Cup 8.00 Women’s Pool 9.00 NFL – Total Access 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Women’s Pool 2.00 Rugby Union: Currie Cup 4.00 Race World 5.00 Ocean Adventures 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm The Biggest Loser 1.00 Top Design 2.00 Lost 3.50 Bite Size Brainiac 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 9.00 FILM: Liar Liar (1997) 10.40 Road Wars (x2) 12.40am Ross Kemp On Gangs 1.40 Road Wars

7.00pm Top Gear 8.05 Doctor Who: Top 5 Christmas Moments 8.15 Doctor Who 9.00 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 My Weapon Is A Dog 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 1.15 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 2.15 Being Human

8.00pm Dorset Days: A Year In The Life Of Longhorn Jim 9.00 Glastonbury Sessions: Bruce Springsteen And The E Street Band 10.00 Sight And Sound In Concert 10.30 Guitar Heroes At The BBC 11.30 Flight Of The Conchords 12.00am The Chaser’s War On Everything 12.30 Guitar Heroes At The BBC

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 ITunes Festival 2009 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.00 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004) 12.05am Coronation Street (x2)

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.10 Wycliffe 4.10 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: A Case Of Coincidence 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 On The Buses (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot. See highlights. 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: The Last Tycoon (1976) 12.30am Cadfael

12.55pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.25 Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.05am Big Brother: Live

2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Hero (2002) 11.00 Bill Bailey: Tinselworm 12.00am FILM: Hero (2002)

11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Army Wives 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Criminal Minds

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.00pm Weaponology 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 10.00 Showdown: Air Combat 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA

11.00am Mysterious Ways (x5) 4.00 FILM: Countdown: The Sky’s On Fire (1998) 5.50 FILM: Multiplicity (1996) 8.00 Medium 9.00 Heroes (x2) 11.00 FILM: The Lost Treasure Of The Grand Canyon (2008) 1.00am Medium 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x4) 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho

12.05pm Topaz (1969) 2.30 The Movie Geek 3.00 Lover Come Back (1961) 4.50 Seven Days In May (1964) 6.50 Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 9.00 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 11.40 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 1.30am The Boston Strangler (1968) 3.35 The Guns Of Navarone (1961)

1.10pm Ride With The Devil (1999) 3.35 Cradle Will Rock (1999) 6.00 The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 7.40 Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 9.30 Into The Wild (2007) 12.00am Boys Don’t Cry (1999) 2.05 The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

11.00am The Road To Denver (1955) 12.55pm Fathom (1967) 2.50 The Triumph Of Love (2002) 5.00 The Hunters (1958) 7.10 My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) 9.00 Wedding Crashers (2005) 11.15 KM31 (2006) 1.15am The Fly (1958)

9.00am The Time Machine (1960) 10.55 Bombers B-52 (1957) 1.00pm Hooper (1978) 3.00 Bronco Billy (1980) 5.15 Offset: Michael Douglas 6.05 Classic Shorts 08 6.25 Marriage On The Rocks (1965) 8.30 The Screening Room 9.00 Tin Cup (1996) 11.40 Running On Empty (1988) 1.55am Tin Cup (1996)

3.40pm The Brittas Empire 4.20 My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 One Foot In The Grave 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.05 Jonathan Creek 11.10 The Likely Lads 11.50 Porridge 12.30am The New Statesman

4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.00 The Sarah Silverman Programme 11.30 Stewart Lee: 41st Best Stand Up Ever 1.10am South Park (x3)

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7/9/09

5:39 PM

Page 1

saturday 18 Anonymous ITV1, 6.30pm Some people might call this celebrity Candid Camera, but then some people would probably be infringing upon some kind of international copyright. Louis Walsh, Corrie actress Jennie McAlpine and rugby man Matt Dawson disguise themselves to pull pranks on their nearest and dearest in this one-off special.

NCIS Five, 8pm Miss the good old Saturdays of slow motion running on the beach with David Hasselhoff saving scantily clad ladies? Dang, but the 90s were kitch. The closest you’ll get these days is this Navy investigation into a female petty officer, found dead while taking part in a bikini contest. It’ll just have to do.

The World’s Greatest Comedy Characters More4, 9pm It’s been a busy summer, so if you want to take a break in front of the telly for a Saturday night, dig in for the duration with three hours’ worth of top value comedy characters. With clips from The Office, Steptoe and Porridge, plus soundbites from Catherine Tate, Eddie Izzard and Terry Jones.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Golf: The Open 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Golf: The Open 5.25 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Animalia 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 Funky Fables 7.55 Eliot Kid 8.05 Wolverine And The X-Men 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 9.00 Skate Nation 10.00 Transmission Impossible With Ed And Oucho 11.30 Young Dracula 12.00pm Furry Facts 12.05 Animal Park 1.05 FILM: Flower Drum Song (1961) 3.15 FILM: The War Bride (2001) 4.55 Flog It! 5.25 Golf: The Open

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 Countrywise 10.25 Quincy, ME 11.25 FILM: All That Heaven Allows (1955) 1.10pm ITV News And Weather 1.15 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Celebrity 2.15 Beat The Star 3.30 FILM: Kicking & Screaming (2005) 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News And Weather

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Yo Gabba Gabba 9.25 Friends 9.55 Countdown To T4 On The Beach 10.55 Friends 11.30 Michael Jackson: His Story 12.30pm Big Brother 1.30 Big Brother 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 It’s Me Or The Dog 4.30 Gok’s Fashion Fix 5.35 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.30 Fifth Gear 11.30 Axe Men 12.30pm The Truth Behind The Moon Landings: Stranger Than Fiction 1.35 Zoo Days 1.55 FILM: Tarzan And The Lost City (1998) 3.30 FILM: Man In The Wilderness (1971) 5.30 Five News 5.40 FILM: Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)

6.00am Barclays Premier League World 6.30 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 8.30 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 9.00 Cricket AM 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 (x2) 7.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 7.30 Where Are They Now? 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Ashes Poker 11.30 Test Cricket (x2) 2.30am Ashes Poker 4.00 Where Are They Now? 4.30 Test Cricket 5.30 Where Are They Now?

6.05 South East Today 6.15 BBC News 6.20 Regional News; Weather 6.30 Totally Saturday Graham Norton hosts the show where viewers’ possessions become the stars of Saturday night television, with music from The Noisettes.

7.15 Total Wipeout Richard Hammond hosts more crashes, smashes and hilarious mud splashes on the world’s most ridiculous and extreme obstacle course.

8.15 The National Lottery: Guesstimation Nick Knowles presents the game show in which two families try to out-think each other to win a dream holiday, with the help of special guests performing unusual challenges. Dance, monkey-boy, dance!

9.05 Casualty After learning the truth about Jordan’s suspension, Adam’s professional conscience is piqued. Curtis and Alice prepare for the big day but a last-minute turn of events threatens to ruin everything.

9.55 BBC News 10.15 FILM: The Guardian (2006) Starring Kevin Costner, Ashton Kutcher, Sela Ward. Sea rescue thriller about a fresh-faced new recruit being put through his paces by a veteran US Coast Guard.

12.30am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.30 Weatherview 1.35 BBC News

7.30 Mollie Sugden: A Tribute Mollie Sugden: A Tribute.

Rememebering the delightful comedic actress.

8.15 Versailles: The Dream Of A King Drama-documentary recreating the life and loves of France’s most famous King, Louis XIV. Dubbed the Sun King by his admiring court, Louis conquered half of Europe, conducted dozens of love affairs and dazzled his contemporaries with his lavish entertainments.

9.15 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Topical news quiz with Paul Merton and Ian Hislop.

9.55 Blood And Guts: A History Of Surgery Documentary series about the brutal, bloody and dangerous history of surgery. These days, transplant surgery saves thousands of lives every year and almost everything, from heart to eyes, can be replaced. But in the beginning, transplants killed rather than cured.

10.55 Horne And Corden Mathew Horne and James Corden host and star in their own comedy sketch show. Do they sing the theme tune and design the credits too?

11.25 The Culture Show A topical series featuring the best arts and culture stories of the week.

12.15am The Supersizers Eat...

The Twenties 1.15 FILM: Following (1998) 2.25 FILM: Kitchen Stories (2003)

6.00 You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill presents the nation’s funniest home video clips, including a cat that uses a fork to eat, a robotic babysitter and mad parking with a monster truck. All sounds perfectly reasonable to us.

6.30 Anonymous See highlights.

7.30 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Ten hopeful contestants compete for a place in the hotseat opposite Chris Tarrant, and the chance to walk away with the top prize of one million pounds.

What would you do with a milllion pounds? No, really? Is there such a thing as too much chocolate?

8.30 A Touch Of Frost DI Frost investigates whether three male bodies found buried naked in the shape of a triangle are part of a satanic ritual. Will closer analysis lead him in a different direction?

10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 FILM: The Skeleton Key (2005) Starring Kate Hudson, Gena Rowlands, John Hurt. Horror thriller.

A live-in nurse for a frail old man finds a skeleton key that unlocks a room in the attic which discloses links to a voodoo curse on the house dating back to a time of lynchings and bad things.

12.45am Holly & Fearne Go Dating 1.15 FILM: Lady Caroline Lamb (1973) 3.15 Crossing Jordan 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.35 Channel 4 News 7.05 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor Former Special Forces adventurer Bear returns to Siberia, one of the coldest places on Earth. Here he meets the Tuvans, a race who have lived in the snowy Sanyan mountains for 20,000 years, before swimming naked through icy water and snacking on squirrel. More than Tintin ever did on his travels.

8.00 ER Final series of the American drama set in the emergency room of Chicago’s busy General Hospital.

While out for a mind-clearing run, Banfield finds herself trying to rescue a young girl from drowning in a lake, bringing back painful memories of her son’s brush with mortal danger.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house.

10.00 Lee Evans: Big: Live At The O2 Stand-up comedy from rubberfaced comic Lee Evans.

11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan is joined by global music star Kanye West and his new UK protege Mr Hudson. Other guests include Fern Britton and Sarah Harding.

11.55 Big Brother’s Big Mouth Davina is joined by celebrity guests and the latest evicted housemate.

12.55am PokerStars.com European Poker Tour 1.55 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 Scrapheap Challenge 5.15 Countdown

7.15 Cricket On Five Richie Benaud and Mark Nicholas present highlights of the second Ashes Test between England and Australia at Lord’s.

Commentary and analysis come from Geoffrey Boycott, Ian Chappell and Simon Hughes.

8.00 NCIS See highlights.

8.55 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. An officer’s apparent suicide develops into a murder hunt when it is found that the victim was involved in a love triangle. Worse than the Bermuda one, apparently.

9.55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. A new recruit is brought in to help the CSIs hunt down a failed artist-turned-serial killer who poses his victims as statues.

10.55 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York which investigates sex crimes. Benson becomes drawn into the case of a captive girl as the other officers begin to suspect the whole thing may be a sick joke.

11.55 Quiz Call 4.00am The Gadget Show 4.45 Rough Guide To Beaches 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Friday Fight Night 8.00 Where Are They Now? 8.30 LIVE Tri-Nations Rugby Union 11.00 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 11.30 Where Are They Now? 12.00pm LIVE: Fish ‘O’ Mania 5.30 Khan V Kotelnik Countdown 6.00 LIVE: Speedway World Cup 9.00 Where Are They Now? 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 Speedway World Cup 2.00am NFL – Total Access 3.00 Max Power 4.00 Gillette World Sport 4.30 Max Power 5.30 Ocean Adventures

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Super League 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 Max Power 1.55 LIVE Rugby Union: Currie Cup (x2) 6.00 Tri-Nations Rugby Union 7.30 Gillette World Sport 8.00 LIVE: Masters Football 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Masters Football 5.00 Sports Unlimited

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Bones 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 4.00 American Gladiators 5.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 The Real Full Monty 10.30 Night Cops 11.30 Road Wars 12.30am Bones (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Top Gear 9.05 FILM: Starsky And Hutch (2004) 10.40 Live At The Apollo 11.25 Family Guy 11.50 American Dad! 12.10am How Not To Live Your Life 12.40 The Real Hustle On Holiday 1.10 Bizarre ER 1.40 Britney Spears Saved My Life 2.40 Personal Affairs

7.00pm Only Connect 7.30 Apollo Wives 8.30 Liz Smith’s Summer Cruise 9.30 How To Be A Composer 10.30 Mendelssohn, The Nazis And Me 11.30 The Grandparent Diaries 12.30am How To Be A Composer 1.30 Apollo Wives 2.30 Only Connect 3.00 How To Be A Composer

2.00pm Holiday Showdown 3.00 Holiday Airport: Cyprus 4.00 The Truth About Size Zero 5.30 America’s Got Talent (x2) 7.30 FILM: Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) 9.15 FILM: Along Came Polly (2004) 11.00 FILM: Intolerable Cruelty (2002) 1.05am America’s Got Talent (x2) 2.55 The Ricki Lake Show

11.55am The Ruth Rendell Mysteries (x2) 2.05 Sherlock Holmes: Hound Of The Baskervilles 4.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Inspector Morse 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 FILM: Death Becomes Her (1992) 11.05 FILM: Clue (1985) 1.00am Wycliffe 2.00 Upstairs, Downstairs (x2)

11.40am Heartland 12.40pm Roswell 1.30 Roswell 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Reaper 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 Scrubs 7.55 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 FILM: Monster-in-Law (2005) 11.00 Sacha Baron Cohen: New Heroes Of Comedy 12.05am Big Brother: Live

1.35pm FILM: The League Of Gentlemen (1960) 3.50 Grand Designs 4.50 Grand Designs 5.55 Grand Designs 6.55 Grand Designs 8.00 Grand Designs 9.00 The World’s Greatest Comedy Characters. See highlights. 12.10am The West Wing 1.10 The World’s Greatest Comedy Characters

12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 3.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 4.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 8.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.00pm Chasing Churchill 3.00 Forensic Detectives (x2) 5.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 6.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 7.00 Time Warp (x2) 8.00 Extreme Loggers 9.00 Ten Commandments Of The Mafia 10.00 Fred And Rose: The West Murders 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Most Evil

1.00pm FILM: Termination Point (2007) 2.50 FILM: Multiplicity (1996) 5.00 Knight Rider 6.00 Haunted Homes 7.00 FILM: The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad (1974) 9.00 FILM: The Prophecy (1994) 11.00 FILM: Spirit Trap (2005) 12.50am FILM: The Last Winter (2006) 3.00 Medium 4.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x4)

12.10pm How To Steal A Million (1966) 2.20 Notorious (1946) 4.15 The High And The Mighty (1954) 6.45 The King And I (1956) 9.00 The Blue Max (1966) 11.35 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 1.25am Marnie (1964) 3.40 How To Steal A Million (1966)

9.00 This Is My Father (1998) 11.05 All The Real Girls (2002) 1.05pm The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 3.30 Waitress (2007) 5.30 The Movie Geek 6.00 Control (2007) 8.10 All The Real Girls (2002) 10.00 Waitress (2007) 11.50 Control (2007) 1.55am This Is My Father (1998)

11.00am Fun In Acapulco (1963) 1.00pm My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) 2.50 Metropolis (2001) 5.00 Lassie (2005) 6.50 Star Trek: Nemesis (2001) 9.00 Team America: World Police (2004) 10.50 Oldboy (2003) 1.10am The Good Thief (2002)

12.30pm The Screening Room 1.00 Five Days One Summer (1983) 3.00 The Ballad Of Cable Hogue (1970) 5.20 Great Catherine (1968) 7.20 The Spy With My Face (1966) 9.00 Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil (1997) 12.00am The Screening Room 12.30 Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974)

12.15pm The Vicar Of Dibley (x5) 3.35 The Vicar Of Dibley Top 40 5.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x5) 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 The Vicar Of Dibley 10.50 Harry Enfield And Chums (x3) 12.45 What A Carry On! 1.20 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 2.00 Posh Nosh 2.10 The Two Ronnies 3.00 Home Shopping

4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Chris Rock: Never Scared 10.35 Tommy Tiernan: Bovinity 11.50 FILM: Caddyshack (1980) 1.50am The World Stands Up

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Indie

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7/10/09

10:07 AM

Page 1

sunday 19 Dragons’ Den BBC2, 7pm It’s lovely when a new series of this starts up. Being so early in the new batch we truly don’t know which hopeful pitch could be the next Reggae Reggae sauce success story. Pitches today include a horror-based scare attraction, personalised romance novels and an antiwrinkle hat. Such imagination.

Wife Swap Channel 4, 8pm What would happen if the Wife Swap team swapped people of a similar background and beliefs?

Well, we’re likely to never know and simply assume that all people from the same place act exactly the same way. Tonight beautician and liberal parent Tara swaps with ex-squash pro and strict parent of four Sam.

Entourage ITV2, 11.05pm The goodies just keep coming and coming, with season six kicking off of this BAFTA-winning comedy series. Vince is getting ready to take his driving test – not known to be the hardest thing in America – and preparing for an appearance with Jay Leno, considerably more formidable.

Plus, Eric considers moving out.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 Cash In The Attic 12.50 Golf: The Open

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 Thumb Wrestling Federation 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Gimme A Break 7.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 M.I. High 9.30 Something For The Weekend 11.00 Golf: The Open 12.50pm MotoGP 2009: Round 9 – Sachsenring 2.00 EastEnders Omnibus 3.55 Flog It! 4.25 Songs Of Praise 5.00 The Great British Foreign Holiday

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Britain’s Favourite View 9.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.55 ITV News And Weather 12.00pm Wish You Were Here – Now And Then 12.30 Dream Homes 1.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 2.30 Columbo: By Dawn’s Early Light 4.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 World Superbikes 7.30 Freesports On 4 8.00 The Brain Cell 8.25 Ironman UK 8.55 Friends 9.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.00pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.00 Ugly Betty 2.00 T4 On The Beach 5.45 Deal Or No Deal

6.00am Test Cricket (x2) 9.00 Cricket Writers On TV 10.00 LIVE Test Cricket (x3) 7.00 LIVE: Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Test Cricket (x2) 2.00pm Ashes Poker 3.30 Test Cricket 5.30 Wild Spirits

6.00 Coast Geographer Nicholas Crane presents a 13-part journey around the coast of the United Kingdom, uncovering stories that have made us the island nation we are today.

7.00 Dragons’ Den See highlights.

8.00 Top Gear Jeremy, Richard and James seek petrolhead heaven in three £1500 rear-wheel drive coupes and somehow find themselves entered in a terrifying French ice race. Beautiful divs.

9.00 On Thin Ice After days of antarctic blizzards, the weather finally clears and adventurer Ben Fogle, Olympian James Cracknell and Doctor Ed Coats can make it to the start line of the Amundsen South Pole Race, facing one of the harshest enviroments on Earth. On your marks.

10.00 Dara O’Briain Talks Funny: Live In London Recorded at the world famous Hammersmith Apollo.

11.00 Mock The Week Host Dara O’Briain is joined by regulars Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons.

11.30 FILM: Factotum (2005) Starring Matt Dillon. Darkly comic adaptation of Charles Bukowski’s semi-autobiographical novel about a writer trying to avoid distractions such as his personal peccadilloes of women, gambling and alcohol.

1.00am BBC News 3.05 The Super League Show

6.30 Meridian News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 The Royal Dr Ellis confronts local prejudice when he discovers that one of his patients has contracted a rare disease abroad.

8.00 All The Queen’s Horses With Alan Titchmarsh Alan Titchmarsh pays a visit to the annual Royal Windsor Horse Show – literally an event in the Queen’s very own back garden. Hoorah!

9.00 Taggart When the body of businessman Jack Bellamy is found lying in a pool of blood, a baby is found abandoned on the doorstep.

During the murder investigation, the team discover that Bellamy was a serial adulterer with a string of women with motive for murder.

10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 Mission To The Moon – News From 1969 John Suchet and the team report on the day’s news from 1969. The astronauts give a guided tour of their spacecraft.

10.25 Comedy Classics: Brass A look at the comedy satire Brass, which was first aired in 1983 as a send up of Thatcherite Britain and the gritty values of the North of England.

11.25 Crossing Jordan Drama.

12.20am A Match Made In Heaven 12.45 The Cosby Mysteries 1.35 Quincy, ME 2.25 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Mio Mao 7.40 Hana’s Helpline 7.55 Olivia 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.45 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 10.30 Everybody Hates Chris 11.00 The Hotel Inspector 12.00pm Zoo Days 12.15 FILM: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 2.55 FILM: Genghis Khan (1965) 5.15 Five News 5.20 FILM: My Girl 2 (1994) 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the second Ashes Test between England and Australia at Lord’s.

8.00 FILM: Practical Magic (1998) Starring Nicole Kidman, Sandra Bullock, Dianne Wiest, Stockard Channing, Goran Visnjic and Aidan Quinn. Supernatural romantic comedy about two sisters from a long line of witches whose powers come at a price. The pair live under the shadow of a curse that dictates that any man they fall in love with will die prematurely. They remain determined to beat the curse and find true love.

Watch that nice European doc from ER go all nasty and scary. Heh heh.

10.05 FILM: Scream 2 (1997) Starring Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Liev Schreiber, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jamie Kennedy, Jada Pinkett Smith and Jerry O’Connell. Sequel to the box-office smash horror movie in which highschool students are stalked by a serial slasher. The premiere screening of Stab, a film loosely based on the horrific events that occurred two years earlier, sets in motion a string of copycat murders. Full of jumps and horrors in th best way.

12.20am Urban Legends 12.55am Super Casino 3.00 ITU Triathlon 3.55 Boxing USA 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

7.00 Priceless Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce guides viewers through some of the most memorable moments from 31 years of the Antiques Roadshow. How much?!

7.30 BBC News 7.45 South East Today 8.00 Hope Springs Ann Marie plans to sell the hotel to a couple of city boys, but the women have other ideas. Country girls?

9.00 Casualty 1909 Period drama.

All the secrets burst open, as Matron Luckes clashes with Sister Russell for leaving London to help a family in the slums, while Dr Culpin clashes with Bennett for giving up studying to be a doctor. Stop studying. Start The Matrix.

‘I know doctoring’ could be next.

10.00 BBC News 10.15 Regional News; Weather 10.25 FILM: Kinky Boots (2005) Starring Joel Edgerton, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Linda Bassett, Sarah-Jane Potts, Jemima Rooper. British comedy. A Northampton shoe factory is on the verge of closing down, unable to compete with cheap third world imports. The reluctant and desperate owner is inspired by an outrageous drag queen. Fantastic footwear for the larger sizes.

12.10am Weatherview 12.15 Sign Zone: My Brother Ben: Brooke Kinsella’s Story 1.05 Empire Of Cricket 2.05 Holby City 3.05 News

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Revelations: The Exhumer Observational documentary following the day-to-day life of exhumation specialist Peter Mitchell, who has dug up approximately 30,000 bodies during his 25 years in the field.

Recorded over several months, the film crew shadow Peter as he supervises exhumations.

8.00 Wife Swap Reality programme in which people exchange their partners, children and homes for a short period. See highlights.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house.

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan’s guests are Jonathan Ross, Mickey Rourke and Denise van Outen, while The X Factor’s JLS perform their single.

10.50 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show alongside team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. Tonight’s guests include Patrick Kielty, Rhod Gilbert and Shappi Khorsandi.

11.25 FILM: Jackass: Number Two (2006) Starring Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera and Chris Pontius. Sequel to the feature-length version of the TV series. Don’t try this at home.

1.10am Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 Scrapheap Challenge 5.15 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Masters Football 11.00 Speedway World Cup 2.00pm Masters Football 5.00 LIVE Super League 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 Ashes Poker 11.30 Super League 1.30am Darts: World Matchplay 5.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 Tri-Nations Rugby Union 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing 12.00pm Volvo Ocean Race 1.00 Tri-Nations Rugby Union 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Speedway World Cup 6.00 Masters Football 9.00 WWE Experience 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am WWE Experience 1.00 Where Are They Now? 1.30 Volvo Ocean Race 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Super League 5.00 Close

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1.00pm It’s Me Or The Dog USA 2.00 The Real A & E 3.00 Bones 4.00 Futurama (x4) 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 House 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Bones (x2) 1.00 Road Wars (x2) 2.50 The Villa 3.45 Brainiac: History Abuse 4.40 Road Wars Half Hours

7.00pm The Real Hustle On Holiday 7.30 FILM: The Pacifier (2005) 9.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 10.00 Family Guy 10.20 American Dad! 10.45 Famous, Rich And Homeless 11.45 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.45am Britain’s Embarrassing Emissions 1.40 The Real Hustle On Holiday

7.00pm The Day Of The Triffids (x2) 8.00 Wainwright’s Walks 8.30 Fossil Detectives 9.00 How To Be A Composer 10.00 How To Be Old With Nicholas Craig 11.00 Ray Gosling: Bankrupt 12.00am How To Be A Composer 1.00 Wainwright’s Walks 1.30 Fossil Detectives

2.30pm FILM: Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) 4.20 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.45 Anonymous 5.45 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2008 6.45 FILM: Peter Pan (2003) 9.00 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004) 11.05 Entourage. See highlights. 11.35 The Xtra Factor: Best & Worst 2008 12.40am ITunes Festival

10.20 FILM: Swallows And Amazons (1974) 12.15pm Inspector Morse 2.10 Kavanagh QC 3.50 Wycliffe 4.55 FILM: Death Becomes Her (1992) 7.00 Elementary My Dear Viewer 8.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 FILM: The Odd Couple II (1998) 11.00 Torn 12.00am Nora Roberts: Tribute 1.45 The Wonder Years (x2)

12.25pm Desperate Housewives (x) 3.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 4.00 Heartland 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged 8.00 One Tree Hill 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) 12.30am Big Brother: Live

2.15pm Coach Trip (x5) 5.05 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Beyond River Cottage (x2) 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 The Homecoming 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 The IT Crowd 12.20am Curb Your Enthusiasm 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 1.50 The Secret Millionaire 2.45 The Homecoming

11.00am Will And Grace (x2) 12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Four Weddings 3.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 4.00 Ghost Whisperer (x5) 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2)

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm NASA’s Greatest Missions (x6) 6.00 Mythbusters (x3) 9.00 Battleground: The Art Of War 10.00 20th Anniversary: Viewers’ Top Five 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.30 Crime Scene USA: Missing Persons Unit 2.00 Solved 3.00 20th Anniversary

11.30am FILM: Countdown: The Sky’s On Fire (1998) 1.20pm FILM: Toxic Skies (2008) 3.10 FILM: The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad (1974) 5.10 Triangle 7.00 Knight Rider 8.00 Dollhouse 9.00 FILM: The Medallion (2003) 10.40 Heroes (x2) 12.40am FILM: The Prophecy (1994) 3.00 Mysterious Ways

10.10am Harry Potter Special 10.40 Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 12.20pm Attack! (1956) 2.10 Heaven Knows, Mr Allison (1957) 4.00 Giant (1956) 7.20 Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 9.00 Heaven Knows, Mr Allison (1957) 10.50 Psycho (1960) 12.50am Attack! (1956) 2.50 Coogan’s Bluff (1968)

9.00am Across The Universe (2007) 11.20 The Kite Runner (2007) 1.30pm December Boys (2007) 3.20 Paper Moon (1973) 5.10 Assembly (2007) 7.20 There Will Be Blood (2007) 10.00 Once (2006) 11.30 Assembly (2007) 1.35am Paper Moon (1973) 3.20 The Kite Runner (2007)

11.00am Fathom (1967) 1.00pm Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 3.00 The Black Tent (1956) 5.00 Big Top Peewee (1988) 6.40 Ever After (1998) 9.00 I, Robot (2004) 11.10 Riding In Cars With Boys (2001) 1.40am The Householder (1963)

9.25am Great Catherine (1968) 11.20 The Spy With My Face (1966) 1.00pm Rampage (1963) 3.00 The Train Robbers (1973) 4.50 The Double Man (1967) 6.55 Drum Beat (1954) 9.00 Goodfellas (1990) 11.45 Switchback (1997) 2.10am Bloodbrothers (1978) 4.10 Offset: Michael Douglas 5.00 Rampage (1963)

8.20am May To December 9.00 Just Good Friends 9.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x13) 9.00 Harry Enfield And Chums (x3) 11.00 Only Fools And Horses 12.50am The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 1.30 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 2.10 The Two Ronnies 3.00 Home Shopping

4.00pm Two And A Half Men (x10) 9.00 FILM: The Man With Two Brains (1983) 10.45 Chris Rock: Never Scared 12.20am Scrubs 12.50 Rules Of Engagement 1.20 The Office: An American Workplace 1.50 Comedy Store (x2) 2.50 Two And A Half Men (x3) 4.20 Cybill

Classics

Indie

035_LS432_TV_Mon

7/9/09

5:38 PM

Page 1

monday 20 The Street BBC1, 9pm The award-winning drama continues with the tale of Dee, who moves to the Street to ensure her boys places at a good school. All is going well when she falls for local plumber Mark, until she meets his father Joe, and things start to twist and turn in a most stomach-churning fashion. Starring Anna Friel.

The Supersizers Eat...

The Fifties BBC2, 9pm Restaurant critic Giles Coren and comedian Sue Perkins continue with their gastric time-travelling to the 1950s, sampling an era that ended rationing and it was claimed ‘we’ve never had it so good.’ So the week kicks off with tinned salmon and horse, and a nice glass of Babycham. Class.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition More4, 8.30pm It’s up-to-the-minute satirical chat, reports and sketches, and this time it’s the whole world that’s in the sites of Jon Stewart’s sharp-tongued pistol. Whether it’s Italian prime ministers or British tax expenses – whatever’s hit the news over the weekend is fair game.

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Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero?

9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 League Of Super Evil 9.35 Krypto The Superdog 9.45 The Secret Show 10.00 Only In America 10.30 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.35 Serious Ocean 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Car Booty 1.30 FILM: Seven Little Foys (1955) 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the daily quiz show.

6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds Celebrities search for antique bargains.

7.00 Legends: The Motown Invasion Documentary revealing what made Motown special in Britain through the lens of two decisive moments in 1965 – the Motown Revue UK tour and the Sounds of Motown Ready Steady Go! TV special.

8.00 University Challenge It’s another first round match and the students of the University of Loughborough do battle with UCL for a place in the second round. Jeremy Paxman asks the questions.

8.30 What To Eat Now Valentine Warner returns for a second series of his guide to seasonal cooking and eating, this time concentrating on the culinary delights of summer. Yum! 9.00 The Supersizers Eat...

The Fifties See highlights.

10.00 How Not To Live Your Life Sitcom about 20-something Don, a man with bad luck and even worse instincts Don goes on a field trip with Abby and the kids from her school.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire In the season finale, Avon readies his troops for war with Marlo, and the police round up their investigation.

12.20am BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home?

11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 The Fuse

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 The OC 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Rescue Remedies 12.40 Life Begins Again 1.40 FILM: Lady For A Night (1942) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal: Seaside Specials 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Lauren is suspicious about Calvin’s bruises. Newt takes Theresa to dinner at Frankie’s house.

Likely to be just as eventful as any McQueen gathering.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Dispatches: Undercover Debt Collector Dispatches goes undercover to investigate debt collection, an industry which is booming during the current financial crisis. The programme reveals some of the tactics used to make debtors to pay up, while reporter Tom Randall gets a job as a debt collector inside one of Britain’s fastest growing agencies.

9.00 Inside Nature’s Giants Experts in anatomy, evolution and behaviour examine a giraffe. They look so peaceful and... long.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. Who’s been kicking off and who can’t cook oven chips?

You know who you are.

11.10 Wife Swap Reality programme in which people exchange their partners, children and homes for a short period. Repeat of Sunday’s show.

12.10am In The Shadow Of The Moon 2.10 Big Brother: Live 4.00 FILM: Corrina, Corrina (1994) 5.55 The Treacle People

6.00 - 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Zoo Days 9.45 Nick Baker’s Weird Creatures 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 FILM: A View From Here (2009) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Irene discovers the business is in serious trouble. That kinda happens if you take to living in a vodka bottle. No business acumen in bottle-living.

6.30 Rough Guide To Safari Adventures Travel series. Toby takes the road less travelled in Tanzania. Julia, meanwhile, heads to Kerala in southern India, where she goes in search of the endangered Indian elephant.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the second Ashes Test between England and Australia at Lord’s.

8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show. Jason and Tiff race a pair of double decker buses. Whoo-hoo!

9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi transforms failing hotels across the UK. Alex attempts to help the struggling Sunnyside Hotel in Blackpool. At least it’s on the right side of the street – sunnyside.

10.00 FILM: Scream III (1999) Starring Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox Arquette, David Arquette, Liev Schreiber, Parker Posey, Jenny McCarthy. Final instalment of the tongue-in-cheek horror trilogy.

12.15am America’s Toughest Prisons 1.20 V8 Supercars 2.15 Rolex Grand Am 3.00 Race And Rally UK 3.45 Motorsport Mundial 4.10 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Live Test Cricket 11.00 Live Test Cricket 2.00pm Live Test Cricket 7.00 Where Are They Now? 7.30 Football 10.15 Test Cricket 12.15am Test Cricket 1.15 Football 2.45 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.45 Watersports World 4.45 Max Power 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Air Medics Air Medics.

8.00 EastEnders Whitney’s mum returns, but what danger from the past has she brought with her? She’s a wrong ‘un that one, no mistake.

8.30 Panorama Current affairs.

Panorama helps citizen journalists Steven, Belinda and Tony find out the future of the steel industry, which employs tens of thousands of people.

9.00 The Street See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Moving On Drama. Faced with spiralling debts, Ellie Morgan’s only hope of avoiding bankruptcy is to sell the home she loves. No-one’s buying, except John Mulligan, an old flame from school. He offers the perfect solution, or so Ellie thinks, until friend Maria suggests that not everything about John Mulligan is as it seems.

11.20 FILM: The Gigolos (2006) Starring Sacha Tarter, Trevor Sather.

Comedy. Sacha is a gigolo plying his trade around London’s Mayfair, with the assistance of pimp/valet/organiser Trevor. But when Trevor steps in to cover for an Sasha, he finds he might have a talent for it.

12.55am Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: The Supersizers Eat...

Medieval 2.00 Taking The Flak 2.30 Heir Hunters 3.15 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain is unhappy when Andy spends some time with Sarah. As an involuntarily absent dad himself you’d think he’d have a bit of understanding for the lad.

7.30 Coronation Street Will Claire regain consciousness? Sean discovers a new reason to visit the gym. To make Claire wake up? Not really.

8.00 Airline There’s a major stir at Luton as the male stars of Hollyoaks are travelling through en route to Sardinia for a photo shoot.

8.30 Coronation Street The Barlows cause mayhem at Peter’s alcoholics’ meeting. Helen bitterly denounces Maria’s friendship with Tony.

9.00 Monday Monday Office-set comedy drama. Flirty Steven is charged with sexually harassing two of his female co-workers – one of whom is his boss and lover Alyson.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Mission To The Moon – News From 1969 Today, will the moon landing be a success?

10.50 Moonshot: The Flight Of Apollo 11 Drama documentary weaving the story of the men who undertook the mission to land on the moon with HD NASA footage.

12.20am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.10 Tour De France 2009 2.00 Loose Women 2.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Darts: World Matchplay 1.00pm Wild Spirits 1.30 Where Are They Now? 2.00 Darts: World Matchplay 6.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 7.00 LIVE: Live Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Elite League Speedway 1.00am Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.00am WWE: The Bottom Line 9.00 Super League 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Super League 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Super League 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Athletics: Great North 10k Run 7.30 LIVE: Live Elite League Speedway 9.30 Extra Time 10.00 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 11.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE: Afterburn 1.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 Live WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 Extra Time 4.45 Close

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3.00pm Guinness World Records Smashed! 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Serial Killers Uncovered 12.30am Ross Kemp On Gangs 1.25 Road Wars Half Hours (x3) 2.40 Stargate SG-1 (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.30 Underage And Pregnant 9.00 Baby Beauty Queens 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Baby Beauty Queens 12.45am Underage And Pregnant 1.15 How Not To Live Your Life 1.45 The Real Hustle

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Time Of Their Lives 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Wallander 10.30 Being Neil Armstrong 11.30 Ray Gosling: Pension Crisis 12.30am Only Connect 1.00 The Time Of Their Lives 2.00 Being Neil Armstrong 3.00 The Time Of Their Lives 5.30 Close

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Lily Allen: The Hot Desk 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 9.00 FILM: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) 11.10 Coronation Street (x2) 12.10am Celebrity Juice (x2)

2.00pm Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Wycliffe 4.10 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Secret House Of Death 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses (x2) 8.00 Wild At Heart 9.00 Martina Cole’s Lady Killers 10.00 Clocking Off 11.05 The Lakes 12.10am FILM: The Last Tycoon (1976)

1.55pm Big Brother 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Shameless 11.05 FILM: Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) 1.25am Big Brother: Live

5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition. See highlights. 9.00 Property Snakes And Ladders 10.00 Relocation, Relocation 11.05 Grand Designs 12.10am Property Snakes And Ladders

11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 9.00 Four Weddings 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Time Team 1.00 Cracking The Ocean Code 2.00 Weaponology 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 Time Warp (x2) 10.00 Moonwalk One 12.30am The Making Of Moonwalk One 1.00 Crime Scene USA

12.05pm Thunderbirds (x4) 4.20 FILM: Ground Zero (2000) 6.20 FILM: The Medallion (2003) 8.00 FILM: Lost City Raiders (2008) 10.00 My Own Worst Enemy 11.00 Bionic Woman 12.00am Nightmares And Dreamscapes (x2) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Mysterious Ways

11.40am A Foreign Affair (1948) 1.40pm Spellbound (1945) 3.40 Viva Zapata!

(1951) 5.40 The Movie Geek 6.10 Drums Along The Mohawk (1939) 8.00 The Sand Pebbles (1966) 11.00 Spellbound (1945) 12.55am Kiss Of Death (1947) 2.35 Torn Curtain (1966) 4.55 A Foreign Affair (1948)

9.30am Mumford (1999) 11.30 Clubland (2007) 1.20pm Youth Without Youth (2007) 3.30 The Top 10 Show 3.45 Ride With The Devil (1999) 6.10 Mongol (2007) 8.20 Detroit Rock City (1999) 10.00 The Singer (2006) 11.55 Fargo (1996) 1.40am Youth Without Youth (2007)

11.00am The Vicious Circle (1957) 12.40pm A Man Alone (1955) 2.35 The Left Hand Of God (1955) 4.20 Destination Moon (1950) 6.15 Anna And The King (1999) 9.00 Snakes On A Plane (2006) 11.05 The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad (1988) 12.45am The Last Mitterand (2005)

8.50am The Double Man (1967) 10.55 Drum Beat (1954) 1.00pm Critic’s Choice (1963) 3.00 Viva Las Vegas (1964) 4.40 The Desert Song (1953) 6.50 Best Friends (1982) 9.00 Dolores Claiborne (1995) 11.25 Quick Change (1990) 1.05am Dolores Claiborne (1995) 3.20 Fathers’ Day (1997)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 First Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.45 The Vicar Of Dibley 11.40 Absolutely Fabulous 12.40am Steptoe And Son

4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)

Classics

Indie