the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 30 June – 6 July 2009
wave your guide to leading a healthy and ethical life
heather mills meatless meats and vegan treats from the sussex celebrity
independent traders fall in love with shopping in bohemian kemp town
whitgift school exhibition hidden treasures from the mary rose page 11
NOW WITH VIRTUAL STUDIO TOUR
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Class duration: 90 minutes
Stuart offers a completely unique style of yoga. “My yoga is not just mechanical yoga, it is based on aligning your mind and spine with this magnificent universe.”
7 Video testimonals on the website.
Contents ★ latest upfront 5–10 5 Seann: it’s tough being beautiful
★ latest listings 21–39 21 Reviews Mark Thomas makes us laugh
5 Will has cabin fever 6 Competitions: win Scooby Doo tickets 6 Social Diary at the 6PM Club 7 Dani doesn’t see the point of CVs 8 Bare Cheek: Mike has the answer 8 Astral Angi goes all angelic
22 Stage Dinnerladies on stage and Dolly Parton celebrated
23 Film Summer blockbusters and where to see them including Ice Age 3 in 3D
9 Celeb City: Katie Price is back 10 News: Phil Mills on promenading
Stephen Grant on 10 years of Krater
24 Art Zara Wood’s Small Wonders
★ latest lifestyle 11–20
25 Kids & Events
11 On the cover: Artefacts from Henry
VIII’s ship recovered and exhibited
12 The independent experience of shopping in Kemp Town
Win family tickets to Drusillas Park The Albion’s new season preview
26 Music The Willkommen Collective, Big Dog 3 and music at Paddle Round the Pier
15 Wave: Heather Mills on living a vegan lifestyle; competitions and directory
19 Food: from plot to plate at Terre á Terre 20 Hotlist: Fine dining, lunches and cafés
Brighton Latest Download Chart
29 Clubs Minimal Kids and Foreign Beggars
31 Gay The Pride Dog Show is here
32 TV Get up to speed on Ugly Betty
any of us strive to lead a healthy and ethical life. It’s not always easy to accomplish so this week we bring you Wave – the essential guide to a healthier lifestyle. We have fantastic reader giveaways and discounts on ethical clothing and shoes in Wave World (p17). Sussex celebrity Heather Mills joins Latest 7 with a new column, exploring the benefits of a vegan lifestyle ahead of the opening of VBites, her new seafront restaurant (p15). In his regular food column, Andrew Kay indulges in the plot to plate menu and wine tasting at Terre á Terre (p19). Whitgift School present an exciting new exhibition Hidden Treasures from the Mary Rose (p11). Tudor artifacts from King Henry VIII’s flagship have been recovered, many in mint condition, and now on display. Television comedy Dinnerladies has been adapted for the stage. Read more on the new show and the sensational Dolly Parton tribute coming to theatres (p22). This week, we have four lots of family tickets to give away to Sussex attraction Drusillas Park (p25). The popular zoo is a fantastic day out for all ages and is the perfect way to enjoy the outdoors. Don’t miss out on your chance to win! There’s more giveaways in competitions (p6) including the chance to win tickets to see Scooby Doo at the Brighton Centre. As the Americans celebrate Independence Day, we salute the independent traders of bohemian Kemp Town. These local businesses keep the community spirit alive and thriving (p12). If you love the start of summer because it means the new football season is fast approaching, you’re not alone. Latest Sport previews Brighton and Hove Albion’s matches for the 2009/10 season, which all kicks off on 8 August (p25). There’s all this and more in this week’s issue. Don’t forget, if you have something going on we need to know about, send all submissions to email@example.com
Editorial: firstname.lastname@example.org Advertising: email@example.com Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Business Director Angi Mariani
Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Sub Editors Pearl Bates Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
Finance Manager Sharon Caple
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writers Ralph Miller Dani Winch
Art Director Stephen King
Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit
Production Manager Neil Ive
Books Writer John O‘Donoghue
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Marie Viviani
Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH
Managing Editor Bill Smith
your free guide to green and ethical living is now inside latest 7
open until 2.30am every night!
The city’s magical live music and party venue tues 30 june
latest showcase & open mic
greg holden + andy walker
showcasing the best talents from across brighton
singer-songwriters reminiscent of damien rice
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bal basquee – an interactive victorian cabaret show with dutch award-winning soprano alexandra bow, “spellbinding” the argus + dj lisa 8pm £6/5
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9pm £12/10 fri 3 july
parlophones 60s songs from the beatles, searchers, dave clark five, gerry and the pacemakers and many others played fab 8pm £7/6
sat 4 july
the principles that lie beneath all good stories
stars of brighton’s funk/soul scene, sitting is definitely not an option
workshop: bob gale (back to the future) + lee child (no.1 thriller suthor )+ mark williams (harry potter) + Stewart Ferris (md summersdale)
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subject to space
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al perkins big dog 3 + brigette demeyer
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CITY SPEAK 05
Seann abin fever, cabin fever, cabin fever. It’s the kind of state that will make you repeat phrases for no reason. Or make daft noises for no reason. Or laugh hysterically for no reason. Now, for no reason other than a certain boredom of human interaction, I decided to take a trip away from society. Yes, for the last three days I’ve been on holiday at my house, in the secluded resort of my bedroom where activities include sitting down, watching films and ignoring phone calls. And, most importantly, not talking to people. Or listening to people talk. Or having any contact with people at all. It’s not necessarily the best holiday I’ve ever taken. Prague was more active, Paris more grand. However, it’s not necessarily the worst. There’s more to do in my bedroom than there was on the Isle of Wight, for instance. I must admit, this is quite a juvenile reaction to a typical situation. The reasoning goes like this: “I’m out and around people all the time. I’m a little overwhelmed by being out and around people all the time. Therefore, I will stay indoors, away from people, for the
Seann Walsh becomes a temporary recluse after having enough of people
Will he other day, at a party, I met C, the most beautiful man who has ever drawn breath. Certainly the most beautiful man I have ever seen at a party in Hove. He is tall and blond, with the broad, lean body of a racehorse and the face of an actor in an Australian soap. He is also, the part of me that believes in cosmic justice is relieved to note, heroically stupid. ”I’m too fat,” complains C, and struggles to pinch a postage stamp-sized teat of skin from his perfect stomach. ”See?” “That is skin,” I point out. “You are pinching your skin.” But I have already lost C’s attention. He is staring past my shoulder at something shiny and fast-moving. So I leave him to it, and think about beauty. I wonder why people who are beautiful (C is just one of them) make a point of picking out their physical flaws, even when they don’t have any. Why is it that goodlooking people feel the need to say, coyly and with downturned eyes: “Well, my friends tell me I’m good-looking.” Is it modesty, or is it shame? Society has a new mantra now. Beauty is only skin deep. Physical appeal is superficial, meaningless even. Again and
“There’s more to do in my bedroom than there was on the Isle of Wight, for instance”
foreseeable future.” Most people would simply have an evening at home, relax a bit and then be ready for the world again. Well, I’ve gone a little too far. Cabin fever has hit. The only conversation was when I ordered an Indian takeaway over the phone. I wasn’t even particularly hungry. The conversation consisted of me blathering on about how I always order chicken madras, to a man desperate to hang up. Eventually he contrived a conclusion (“Yes, well, anyway...”). The food came. I felt half-ready to ask it how its day had been. I chose a spoon to eat the food with, and felt compelled to explain the reasons behind this to a nearby fork. Don’t worry: I’m not insane. I didn’t feel sorry for the fork, nor believe it conscious of its rejection. Cabin fever makes you talk to fill the gaps. And if there’s not a person to talk to, you’ll settle for a fork. Still, this is no good. If I stay in any longer, I’ll end up befriending a gravy boat. So, I’m going out to be around people. I’ll probably have considerably more to say than they do. Maybe I’ll talk enough to drive them to take the holiday I just had.
Will Harris listens to the woes of the beautiful people and is just not that convinced “He is tall and blond, with the lean body of a racehorse and the face of an Australian soap actor”
again, in films and on TV, we see the plucky plain Jane triumphing over the vapid supermodel, the industrious nerd foiling the handsome jock. In Elizabethan tragedies baddies were given a deformity; now they are given a bouffant. This is not real life. This is jealousy. ”We hate Keira Knightley!” the uglies cry. “She can not act! She has built her entire career on being beautiful and talking through her teeth!” And yet Keira Knightley has not been in a film that hasn’t been a success at the box office. Everyone watches them. We don’t care that her only facial expression is teeth. Of course it’s not pre-destined that attractive people will do better in life, but they do appear to have a head start. Beautiful people have scooped the jackpot in the genetic lottery, and we hate and adore them for it. Can we blame them for their reluctance to poke their symmetrical faces above the parapet? C knows he is not fat; he is dim but not blind. By pinching his skin, he is saying: “Look! I am imperfect, just like you.” I wish I could sympathise. I can’t. I’m too imperfect for that. www.twitter.com/william_tells
For comments and chit chat email: firstname.lastname@example.org
06 LATEST DIARY
In it to Latest diary win it Tim Richardson hears ▲
Win tickets to Scooby-Doo Shiver me timbers! This week we’ve got a great prize for you pesky kids. We’re giving away a family ticket to see Scooby-Doo and the Pirate Ghost on stage at the Brighton Centre. Scooby-Doo, Shaggy, Velma, Daphne and Fred take their Mystery Machine to a tropical island. It’s not all sun, sand and sea, however, as something is amiss. There are mysteries to solve and ghoulish goings-on to uncover as the Mystery Inc. gang encounter the Pirate Queen and her ghostly crew. Surprises, slapstick comedy and spookiness ensues while our heroes attempt to uncover the riddle of the Pirate Ghost. To be in with a chance to win a family ticket to see Scooby-Doo and the pirate ghost – Live on stage, at the Brighton Centre, just tell us: What is the name of Scooby-Doo’s owner and closest human companion?
Win Unstable Fables: Goldilocks And The 3 Bears on DVD We’re also giving away a computer animated family film from Momentum Pictures this week. Unstable Fables: Goldilocks and the 3 Bears, out on 6 July, is a modern take on the well-known childrens’ tale. In the updated version, Goldilocks (voiced by Jamie Lynn Spears) is a ditzy reality TV star who decides to film her new show in the humble home of the three porridge-eating bears, giving them them a slice of celebrity life, while she learns the importance of family. To be in with a chance to win one of three copies of this DVD, just tell us: What is the three bears’ favourite foodstuff?
To win, email:
email@example.com with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 13 July
Tara Rogers, Hannah Ford (Heart)
about long distance fundraising plans and gets creative
Running a meeting The summer gathering of the Brighton 6PM Club took place at Hotel Du Vin, Brighton on Wednesday 10 June 2009. The 6PM Club provides an occasional, networking forum for businesses, organisations and individuals working primarily in the sport, creative, entertainment and events sectors to meet in the city. This was a special event held in conjunction with the Sussex Beacon Half Marathon and used the evening to launch the exciting new three year development plan for the Half Marathon. The Sussex Beacon Half Marathon is an annual event held on Brighton’s seafront organised by, and in aid of, the Sussex Beacon charity.
Stephanie St James (RSVPR), Nick Mosley (Brighton Visitor Magazine), Chris Jewell (Silverstone UK)
Juley Ayres (The Sussex Beacon), Elly Hargreave (BBC Sussex)
Kat Williams (Chief Executive. The Sussex Beacon), Lady Mayor Ann Norman, Consort Ken Norman
Creative achievements The University of Brighton opened its doors to 15,000 visitors for the annual Burt Brill and Cardens Graduate Show 2009. Over 500 graduating students from the university showcased their work at the acclaimed show, which saw the Faculty of Arts and Architecture transformed into the biggest art gallery in the South East, showcasing work from a range of 25 courses, from fashion and 3D design to fine art, sculpture and photography. An annual highlight of the arts calendar for the South East, this year’s graduate show celebrated the founding of the original School of Art 150 years ago, and was accompanied by a bumper programme of activities in the university garden, including the annual sell-out Graduate Fashion Show on Saturday 6 June.
Eddie Marshall (Kream), Michael Royalton-Kisch (The Sussex Beacon)
DEFINITELY DANI 07
Dani hates writing CVs and answering ridiculous questions
V writing has to be one of the most annoying and frustrating things a person will ever have to do. For me CV writing is a real pet hate. I have never fully felt comfortable with the idea of selling myself on a piece of paper. In fact I think the whole concept is pretty weird. The trouble is, I think it‘s just me that has this problem. Everyone else in the country seems happy to write the spiel about being enthusiastic and hardworking. But realistically, how many people are actually enthusiastic, hardworking and great working as either part of a team or alone?
“All you are thinking is – God, I hope I get this job, I really need the money” We all read the same CV writing tips online, we have all been given the same advice by so-called CV experts. But in reality, you have to make yourself sound better than everyone else, and not only that – you also have to write covering letter after covering letter, practically begging employment, because you will bring a fresh perspective to the team. The main problem with all this is, no one who is writing a CV is actually thinking – hey, I would be great for that role because I really am enthusiastic
A laughing matter? Something strange is happening. You may notice that it is happening to people around you – and if it hasn’t happened yet I am sure it will soon – one of the people you know will become a stand-up comedian. Once one friend has, you will start to find that others are giving it a go too. Where did all this start? Every other day I find out someone else I know is now a comedian – am I missing something? It’s great – laughing is the best medicine – but how come all of a sudden everyone is jumping for the microphone?
and I truly believe that I could be a great asset to the company. In fact, all you are thinking is – God I hope I get this job, I really need the money. The funny thing is, the person who is scrutinising your CV would have had to have written their very own CV at one point, in order to be in a position that now allows them to pass judgement based on what can be fitted neatly onto one side of A4. So what exactly do you look for in a CV, when all of them follow the same basis and are all written by people who are trying to impress you but not necessarily inform? The one thing that doesn’t seem to be written in any guide books for this subject is at what age can you leave your GCSE results off your CV? Personally, I don’t think I need to put them
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on, as at 22 I have had enough jobs to give me more experience and skills than I ever had at school, and yet for some reason people still seem to want to see the results from a bunch of tests I took years ago. They don’t seem to bear in mind that those tests did not cover anything that you would need to know for an office environment. If you are lucky enough to have blagged your way into an interview, you are then confronted with another load of ridiculous questions. My favourite one has been: how would your friends describe you? How, in any universe, is the answer to that going to be anything other than the rehearsed “friendly, easy going, adaptable...” And how on earth does it make any difference to whether or not you get that job answering the phone?
08 ONLY JOKING!
In & Out
Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
What was that?
Dear Mike, Since turning fifty, the condition of my teeth has worsened, and I’m afraid to say that I recently had to go to my dentist to have a couple of the buggers whipped out (thankfully, at the back). Furthermore, the dentist intimated that if things went on
as they were doing, I’d most likely have to have the whole lot out before I reach retirement age. The thing is, I’m sure I remember, as a child, utilising an oral hygiene product that kept my gnashers sparkling clean, and freshened my breath
too! I seem to recall a rod of coloured plastic, with hard bristles made of some synthetic material (I’ve a feeling it was nylon) at one end, onto which a sharp-tasting, minty goop was squirted, before the bristly end was inserted in the mouth and used to “brush” the teeth. In fact I’ve a dim memory that similar instruments have been utilised since the dawn of time, with twigs, feathers or porcupine quills standing in for the modern equivalent. Please help me, as my teeth are in a shocking state. I did try to question my dentist about this, but he pushed me out of his surgery and locked the door. Thanks in advance. Pete Warner, Hove Mike says: Don’t worry, Pete – help is at hand. I am aware of the object you have in mind, and have used one myself, twice a day, every day since I was a little lad. The instrument of which you speak is, of course, a butt plug. Glad to have been of help. Keep those letters flooding in folks!
• Paul Squires • Saint Paul • Pope Paul V • Lucius Aemilius Paulus Macedonicus • Paul, Cornwall
Out • Paul Shane • Pauly Shore • Pope Paul IV • Paulus Alexandrinus • Paul, Idaho
Can’t remember the name of a book, play, movie, or whatever? Mike Hunter has the answers.
A poem to Bat For Lashes By Joseph Nixon. (Who isn’t much good, but is at least better than Carol Ann Duffy. Not that that’s saying much.) Oh Bat For Lashes, Bat For Lashes, Better than all the other Natashas. You are the queen of all my pashes. Without you my life would be ashes. With your lovely eyes and pearly gnashers, I’d like to give you stubble rashes. I’ll be the sausage in your mashes. Oh Bat For Lashes, Bat For Lashes.
This week, Astral gets all angelic
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).
Just when you thought it was safe to admit reading horoscopes I bring you angels – with resounding trumpets. For you Aries it is Malahidael, a nice enough chap.
Cancerians are blessed by the angel Muriel. Well that is when she is not frying fish and chips with Roy at Bardsley’s. She will also put you in touch with your deepest feelings.
Librans are tended over by Zuriel who does his very best to keep you in harmony with all that is around you. Well good luck to him is all I have to say, rather him than me.
Capricorns are looked after by Hanael. Now Hanael is supposed to have looked after the virgin Mary whilst she was pregnant. Just imagine if he had started the job sooner!
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
Taureans get Asmodel, a fallen angel and an all-round bad-lad by all accounts. As angels go you seem to have drawn a short straw this time, best not fret, just ignore it.
Leos are looked after by Verchiel, generous of heart and nature and bringer of love and peace (cough) – sorry but I am starting to come over a bit queer, forgive me.
Scorpios have the good fortune to be represented by Barbiel, the seeker of truth and truths. How nice to have truth on one’s side at all times. I envy you Scorpio, I really do.
Aquarians of course get Gabriel, the big cheese angel and one of the seven Archangels. A bit of a prophet and the strong arm of God, so probably not to be messed with.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
Gemini’s angel is Ambriel and a far better sort for sure. Angel of communications and a gentle and loving guide who will act as your protector. How kind.
Virgos have Hamaliel, the angel of logic. Now forgive me for being cynical but when did you last have a logical thought, Virgo? No, I thought so, maybe this angel stuff is a bit whacky.
Sagis appropriately get Advachiel, the autumn angel, the angel of humility. How nice to see that as one sinks into middle age, even you 18-year-old Sagis, Advachiel will keep you humble.
Pisceans get Barchiel, the angel of Freemasonry. Now forgive me but the only pinny I want to be associated with is Roy’s at Bardsley’s when he is whipping up a vat of batter...
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
AROUND TOWN 09
with Jo Brooks
Coleen, Bernie, Linda and Maureen are back with their first tour together in 25 years! The Nolans ‘In The Mood Again Tour’ – will be the ultimate girls’ night out! Long before the Spice Girls, Bananarama, Girls Aloud or the Sugababes, The Nolans rocked the UK and international charts with their infectious pop music that really put us in the mood for dancing. Just in time to celebrate their 30th anniversary they are returning with a new tour, album and DVD.
Katie’s back in Brighton along with The X Factor’s Alexandra Burke and the Nolan sisters!
Back in town ewly single Katie Price popped into Brighton last Wednesday, fresh from clubbing in Ibiza. Katie, accompanied by pal Julie Coates (owner of the Lanes Health and Beauty) and brother Dan, grabbed a bit of lunch in Moshi Moshi where I was also having a bit of al fresco lunch. Katie seemed fine as we
chatted, contrary to what the tabloids are reporting. See for yourself in our exclusive pictures.
Alexandra’s blog Also in Brighton last week was X-Factor winner Alexandra Burke – who managed to keep a low profile – but Celeb City
soon heard on the grapevine that she was in town! Alexandra, who won the show last December, is currently recording her debut album in the US and UK, but I’m told was taking a well earned break in the middle of it all. Alexandra’s latest blog reads: ”Wow! So sorry it’s taken me a while to do a blog since I’ve been home, but I went straight into the studio and I’ve been loving every minute of it! It feels so good to be home! Can you believe that as soon as I landed, I started clapping on the plane! I was the only one doing that but it just felt amazing to be on UK soil. LA, San Francisco and NY were all great and I can’t wait to go back there! Next time I want to try and go to a theme park though, LOL. I haven’t been to one in ages and I hear the ones out there are the best. I can’t believe how fast this year has gone. I hope you’re all enjoying your summer! I can’t wait for this album to be finished so you can all hear the songs. I’m having an amazing time creating it. This is a real dream!”
The chart topping Nolans sold over 25 million records worldwide and became a global phenomenon with their hugely successful single ’ I’m in the Mood For Dancing,’ which topped the charts around the world. They even sold over ninemillion records in Japan alone – that’s more than the Beatles! Other chart busters included ’Attention to Me’, ‘Who’s Gonna Rock You’, ‘Don’t Make Waves’ and ’Gotta Pull Myself Together’ proving girl power started with The Nolans. The Nolans play the Brighton Centre on 29 October. Tickets are available priced £35.
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to email@example.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of July 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
10 LATEST NEWS
News Phil Mills sheds some light on a shady part of town and the virtues of The Queen Victoria Hospital
An enlightening development ore than £50,000 has been spent encouraging the return of promenading to an underused area of Brighton seafront. New low-energy lighting has been installed along the Colonnades on Madeira Drive along the eastern end of the seafront, to attract evening strollers to an area which has often been frequented by less savoury characters because of its dingy and dark night-time appearance. Lobbying from the likes of Yellowave Beach Sports at Peter Pan’s and from local councillors have encouraged Brighton and Hove City Council to spend the money and brighten up the listed cast-iron archways. It is hoped that, in future, the new environmentally-friendly lighting will make an evening stroll along Madeira Drive a lot more pleasant and will encourage more people to savour what has been until now the seafront’s poor-relation. Around 30 strip lights have been installed just past Concorde 2 in a bid to make the walkway safer and more enticing. The council funded the project from the Local Transport Plan. LED lights have been installed along with uplighters to arches first built between 1830 and 1838, and then extended to the far eastern end of the road in 1890.
City boost Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on events that will improve our economy Last week we received the latest unemployment figures for the city and unfortunately they don’t make for pleasant reading. I would like to offer my heartfelt sympathies to any residents who have been made redundant in recent weeks and months. It is a real tragedy for families and as a Council I am determined that we do everything we can to cushion the blow of the recession and help people get back on their feet – we are on your side. I do remain cautiously optimistic for the future of
Councillor Geoffrey Theobald, cabinet member for environment, said: “The distinctive arches make this an unusual and historic part of the seafront. The new lighting will make it a much more attractive and safer place to walk at night.” The new lighting is part of a wider improvement scheme for the seafront, which includes the restoration of the bandstand and seafront shelters, and the new ‘Changing Places’ toilet for people with disabilities at the Colonnade.
Award winning TLC A Sussex hospital that won world-wide praise for its reconstruction surgery on RAF and allied servicemen badly injured during World War II is continuing to receive accolades more than 60 years later. The Queen Victoria Hospital (QVH) in East Grinstead has remained in the forefront of reconstructive surgery and its work in bringing independence back to the lives of patients, thousands of them from Sussex, has been recognised with the hospital winning the Innovative Acute Care Award in the NHS Best of Health Awards 2009. A hospital spokesman said a key to success was coordinating treatment and providing continual assessment. Patients make an informed choice about their treatment, and their travel is minimised. Home visits have replaced outpatient appointments, and although surgery is normally performed at the Queen Victoria, it can sometimes be performed by the team at the patient's local hospital.
We are continuing to attract major events to the city and this can only be beneficial to our future prosperity. The Brighton Marathon is a fantastic example. It is proving to be amazingly popular and at the time of going to press,
almost 3,000 of the 12,000 places had been taken up. So I would urge anyone who wants to take part to sign up quickly at brightonmarathon.co.uk. Places are first come first served!
the city. The deal we recently did with American Express has safeguarded 3,000 local jobs and their decision to remain in Brighton and Hove is a real vote of confidence in us.
“We continue to attract major events to the city” Our tourism industry also remains very strong and this is key to the success of the local economy overall.
Tim Hutchings (left) and Tom Naylor (right) of the Grounded Events Company, organisers of the Brighton Marathon
COVER STORY 11
Hidden Treasures from the Mary Rose A spectacular time capsule of Tudor life comes to Croydon idden Treasures from The Mary Rose is one of the major exhibitions in celebration of the quincentenary of Henry VIII’s accession to the throne. It is the very first time that a major part of this world-class collection has left Portsmouth. The Mary Rose, Henry VIII’s flagship, sank in 1545 at the Battle of the Solent. Raised in 1982, her collection is unique and is one of the world’s most precious heritage icons. The artefacts found on board provide a fascinating insight into the daily life of officers and sailors, as well as the military equipment of the ship.
ship and its crew. These include accurate facial reconstructions of a Gunner and a Bosun, created for the exhibition through advanced techniques of biomedical and archaeological research. A leading forensic artist and his team have rebuilt these heads, using scientific evidence and accurate measurements of skin depth. They made plaster casts of the skulls, onto which they built up the faces, adding a thin layer of ‘fat’, and a skinlike substance. Hair has been inserted and acrylic eyes have been prepared at a specialist NHS eye unit. The precious skeleton of the ship’s dog has been put together specially for the show.
“The Mary Rose is one of the most important objects in English History. It’s up there with the Doomsday Book, the Magna Carta…” Dr David Starkey CBE
The exhibition shows over 250 of the finest Tudor artefacts, most of which have never been exhibited before: clothing, jewellery, personal possessions, money, domestic utensils, furniture, musical instruments, medical equipment, navigational apparatus, weapons of warfare, tools, rigging and wood from the ship. Many items are in ‘mint’ condition, some you can even touch. A large number of items were so well preserved in the silt, that they look as if they have just been made. There are even fruit stones, peppercorns, fish and meat bones that illustrate the diet on board. The story of the ship is brought to life through prize objects complemented by stateof-the-art multi-media displays. Hidden Treasures from The Mary Rose also shows the findings of exciting new research about the
The dog, probably the only animal on the ship, was trapped in a doorway at the time of the disaster. She may have been a pet, or a mascot, or was perhaps brought on board to help reduce the population of rats! The exhibition has been planned to appeal to a broad range of visitors: historians, students, the general public, families and young people, for whom special interactive exhibits have been created. It has been organised by the famous Whitgift School and is in state-of-the-art galleries in the School’s Conference Centre. Whitgift School, part of the Whitgift Foundation, is an independent day school for boys aged 10 to 18. It enjoys an outstanding reputation for academic achievements, sport and all-round education. The school has over 1,200 students and is set in the magnificent Haling Park, South Croydon, once the home of the Howard family who provided captains and admirals for the Mary Rose. Whitgift School, Brighton Road, South Croydon, CR2 6YT Opening daily: 10am – 5pm (last admission 4pm) Prices: Adults £8.00; Families £18.00 (up to two adults, up to four children); Concessions £5; Groups £6 (must be pre-booked. 1 free entry per group of 10) Pre-school children and pre-booked school groups FREE Ample on site parking (charges apply) For more information, visit www.maryrosehiddentreasures.org or telephone: 020 8633 9939
12 KEMPTOWN SHOPPING
Independent’s day Why choose the corporates when Kemp Town has such great independent traders? Eat local is the hottest concept in the world of food but why restrict the idea to your diet? When Latest 7 and Latest Homes started seven years ago we were champions of local independent businesses and we were championed by them in return. Since then we have always featured the city’s best independent retailers, traders and restaurants and year on year we have been impressed by the unique qualities of the city’s shopping villages, none more so than Kemp Town. Kemp Town has an almost Passport To Pimlico appeal to it, a self declared independent state where the relaxed and Bohemian atmosphere is fuelled and supported by the many excellent local businesses. It is possible to live in Kemp Town and hardly ever need to stray outside the confines to shop. From a fine selection of pubs, bars, restaurants and delis, to fashion and gifts, fresh foods and groceries, furniture, hardware, stationery and antiques. You can buy a book, a blow torch, a bottle opener, a baguette, a bottle of Bollinger and even an award-winning banger! Shopping locally keeps the local community alive and Kemp Town certainly is a happily thriving community. This week we feature just a few of those excellent independent traders who go to make up what has become one of the city’s most fascinating and appealing districts.
“The relaxed and Bohemian atmosphere is fuelled and supported by the many excellent local businesses”
Do you have a pain that won’t go away? Kemptown Osteopathic Clinic can help Established in 2003 and run by Registered Osteopath, Mark Andrews, the Kemptown Osteopathic Clinic aims to offer practical solutions for your individual health concerns. Osteopathy, along with most holistic health systems, recognises the body’s ability to heal itself. However, external factors such as accidents, repetitive use, sports injuries, poor diet, stress and lack of exercise can override your selfcorrecting capabilities, leading to symptoms such as back and limb pain, headaches, digestive problems and breathing dysfunction. Mark has over 10 years’ osteopathic clinical experience and draws upon his broad knowledge base of natural medicine to offer a pragmatic approach to assisting your natural healing capacities and getting you back to normal function. Kemptown Osteopathic Clinic, 34 Chesham Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1NB. For more information call Mark at the clinic on 01273 600023 or visit www.brightonosteopathy.co.uk
WATCH YOUR BACK
Kemptown Osteopathic Clinic Modern professional healthcare in a calm and friendly environment Structural, Cranial and Classical Osteopathy for all ages
34 Chesham Road Brighton BN2 1NB 01273 600023 www.brightonosteopathy.co.uk
Find the right tool for the job and an exceptional service at Kemptown Tools
Quality lettings in Kemp Town and beyond with Brightonsgotflats.com
Kemptown Tools in George Street offer customers a great personal service. All their staff are highly trained and will help you find the right tools or product for the job. They have a fantastic range of power tools, paints, household, gardening, hand tools, hardware, and much more besides. Here you will find great priced deals and special offers. Their start of summer sale QUICK includes fantastic deals on FIX Dulux and Berger Paint, gardening tools and BBQs. Plus not to be missed offers on Dewalt drills and saws, with prices starting from just £69.99. Kemptown Tools, 46–47 George Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN2 1RJ, tel: 01273 672202, www.kemptowntools.co.uk
As a well established local based family lettings business, Brightonsgotflats.com offer many years of experience and knowledge of the Brighton and Hove area. With over 250 units in their portfolio they are sure to have something that is right for you. They pride themselves on a more personal and relaxed approach to make you feel HOME more comfortable and at SWEET home before you actually move, making things HOME as easy as possible. Their availability list includes high quality studio flats and bedsits as well as the more affordable scale of the market that still includes good quality standards and high quality service... as standard. Brightonsgotflats.com are open Sundays. www.brightonsgotflat.com, email BrightonsGotFlats@yahoo.co.uk, or contact David Delicata on 07737 404132 for more information.
KEMP KE MPTOWN TOWN TOOLS OFFERS ON COLOURED PAINTS FROM £4.99
brightonsgotflats.com M:07737 404 132 Newly refurbished, beautiful studio flats for rent in the heart of Brighton, and Kemp Town. Now available.
Holland Road, near Palmeira Square NEW studios available now £135-£150 per week
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All properties inclusive of all bills except electricity
46-47 GEORGE ST, BRIGHTON, BN2 1AL
14 KEMPTOWN SHOPPING
Transform your home into a style haven with Pardon My French Staying home is the new going out they say, and Pardon My French has everything you could want to make staying home ohso-stylish. With a keen eye for chic, owners Stephanie and Sandra have a wonderful range of goodies on offer: hand-made jewellery, wonderful leather goods, cotton kimonos, quilts, bedspreads and pillows. There are also some wonderful home scents you can HOTTING luxuriate in while UP the sun delivers a balmy Riviera-style summer. New for this year, get a little Hollywood glamour with the fabulous Esther Williams 40s and 50s inspired swimwear. Kemp Town just got a little hotter! Pardon My French, 15 St Georgeâ€™s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, BN1 2EB, open 10amâ€“5pm Monday to Saturday, tel: 01273 694479. Visit www.pardonmyfrench.co.uk, email firstname.lastname@example.org
the uk’s best free green & ethical lifestyle guide
THIS WEEK... On this page: V-Bites of Wisdom: Heather Mills explores the benefits of a vegan lifestyle Wave World: Green news and ethical trading with the chance to win some great giveaways
Wave directory: From yoga to therapies and training; essential contacts to transform your life
of wisdom fter losing my leg to a police motorcycle in 1993, I was forced into a vegan diet to save my knee. A girlfriend who had recovered from breast cancer promised me that a vegan diet would help the infection that was rapidly spreading up my leg. After many months in hospital because of re-occurring infection, I decided to give it a try. Two weeks later, having been taken off all antibiotics, I was cured. It sounds too good to be true but in fact, many illnesses can be cured, or at least slowed down from progressing, through a vegan diet. You‘re probably thinking “Well I’m not ill, so what does it matter?” It matters because prevention is everything. Many cancers may be preventable. Only five per cent of us are genetically predisposed to die of an illness. Most of the time, old age will kill us first if we live a balanced healthy lifestyle. When we consume excess amounts of meat and dairy, we up our chances of illness by 65 per cent. So much money is spent on curing cancer, yet scientists discovered years ago that if you minimise your meat and dairy intake, and maximise your fruit and vegetables
Heather Mills says trying a vegan diet just one day a week will do wonders for your health
“Many illnesses can be cured, or at least slowed down from progressing, through a vegan diet”
intake, especially green vegetables, you may lengthen the lives of yourself and your family. (Referenced from: Campbell. T. The China Study, 2006). A lot of people ask, what can a vegan eat?
Well, the same as you: burgers, bacon, shrimp, chicken, cakes and so on. It’s just that these products are made from soya, wheat or mushroom. Some taste like cardboard, and others are amazing, such as the Redwood products, available in health food stores. You could start by trying to be vegan at least one day a week. Read food labels, as some products contain eggs, milk powder and so on. Eventually, you’ll become a pro and know exactly what you are eating. Your energy levels will go through the roof and the only vitamin you will need on a balanced vegan diet is vitamin B complex. When it comes to milk try rice, soya, almond, hazelnut, quinoa, hemp, pea or numerous other milks. Dedicate one hour to scouring your local health food store – trust me, you’ll be enlightened. Come down to VBites at Hove Lagoon on 4th July and try some healthy fast foods. You will be amazed and comforted to find that you don’t have to give up great tastes to lead a healthier, animal-friendly, environmental lifestyle, at least one day a week.
DROP A DRESS SIZE FOR SUMMER First class ÂŁ10 â€“ which is refunded when you book a course.
Power Plate machines aid weight loss, tone muscles, reduce the appearance of cellulite, and increase your overall fitness and wellbeing in as little as two 25-minute classes a week.
Revitalise, 86 Church Road (Opp. Hove Town Hall), Hove BN3 2EB 01273 738 389 email@example.com www.revitalise-u.com
WAVE WORLD 17
Chilled out Local eco-surf company Chilled Turtle have just launched a new website and a new Summer range for 2009. All Chilled Turtle products are printed in the UK using only organic inks. You can get your hands on a free Tshirt from their new collection by posting or emailing them your name, address and contact number to Chilled Turtle, PO Box 2152, Shoreham-by-Sea, BN43 9DB, or firstname.lastname@example.org. The lucky winner will be randomly picked and contacted at the end of the month. For every reader there is also a 20% discount. Just enter the code ‘waveone’ at checkout on the Chilled Turtle online store – valid until 1 August 2009. www.chilledturtle.co.uk
News and give aways this week The Big Lemon is The Big Winner Brighton’s eco-friendly bus company The Big Lemon, which battled heroically against adversity to become established, has now won The Dandelion Award, which recognises the extraordinary efforts of businesses throughout the UK to improve their own and others performance on issues surrounding sustainability. “I’m over the moon and extremely proud that our project has received such an endorsement,” said founder Tom Druitt. The Big Lemon buses run on 100 per cent locally sourced cooking oil in order to minimise their impact on the environment, and fares are £1.50 per journey or £2 for the whole day. To find out more, visit www.thebiglemon.com
Sneaking about Get a life! Life Club, founded by mother of four Nina Grunfeld in 2003, takes the form of 90-minute workshops which aim to give you the confidence and courage to live the life you want to live. There’s no obligation to attend every week, although most people do once they realise the benefit of regular workshops. Unlike standard lifecoaching, each Life Club workshop costs only £15 per person. Life Club is now opening a branch in Brighton, and are offering Wave readers free membership until the end of the month. For more details, call Nicole 07919 172215 or visit www.lifeclubs.co.uk
Effectively assists with: Public Speaking Panic attacks Exam nerves Self esteem Smoking Phobias Weight management FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION London, Brighton, Hove & Forest Row Practices
Eco-friendly shoe brand Simple Shoes have introduced a beautiful natural fibre, slinky silk, to their women’s range of Satire ecoSNEAK shoes (RRP£55). And for the men, the new Tuba ecoSNEAK (RRP£60) incorporates recycled car tyres, certified organic cotton and recycled inner tubes! For your chance to win a pair of men’s or women’s ecoSNEAKS, all you have to do is answer this question: What new material has been introduced to the new Satire ecoSNEAK from Simple? Send your entries to Wave Competition, 2 Kelburn Business Park, Port Glasgow, Scotland, PA14 6TD
18 WAVE DIRECTORY Ceremonies
ARE YOU SPIRITUAL BUT NOT RELIGIOUS? Tailor-made wedding ceremonies, personal funerals, blessings for babies and spiritual mentoring. Annie Blampied is an experienced interfaith minister and spiritual teacher. Her passion is sharing joy and freedom by moving through and beyond forgiveness.
www.annieblampied.co.uk Tel. 01342 825511
Charlotte Watts Dip.ION mBANT
ANAM CARA RETREAT CENTRE Scottish Highlands
Nutritional Therapist with 10 years experience and success Presenter of BBC3’s Freaky Eaters and author of ‘100 Top Recipes for Happy Kids’
Fully residential workshops and retreats in Buddhism, Shamanism, Sweat Lodges, Soul Quests, Bushcraft and Survival Skills, Yoga, Holistic Detox, Healing Arts and Work Retreats.
01463 711702 email@example.com or visit www.anamcara.org Therapies & coaching
• Any health issue investigated and underlying causes identified • Success with digestive, skin, hormonal, weight, mental health and stress issues • Practical and realistic diet and lifestyle changes at your pace • Changes to meet your needs, personal tastes and budget
£15 off initial consultation with this ad! Therapies & coaching
07776137390 firstname.lastname@example.org www.charlottewattshealth.com Therapies EUROPEAN SHIATSU SCHOOL
ANNIE LIGHTLY MEDIUM & HEALER Private sittings and Tarot readings at Vits ‘n' Pieces, 33 East Street, Shoreham-by-Sea and at Borders, Churchill Square, Brighton. For information on events (Hove Town Hall and The Hawth, Crawley), demonstrations of mediumship, and bookings, please call:
Effectively assists with: Public Speaking Panic attacks Exam nerves Self esteem Smoking Phobias Weight management FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION
Counselling Mentoring Life Coaching The Relationship Experts Linda and Uwe Hirschberg
London, Brighton, Hove & Forest Row Practices
01273 559773 email@example.com www.beingalive.net www.lifecoachingbrighton.co.uk
Book now at Revitalise 86 Church Road, Hove BN3 2EB 01273 738389 firstname.lastname@example.org www.revitalise-u.com
Learn about life and embody your potential whilst helping others. Open day (free) 26 September Basic skills workshop 27 September Brighton Natural Health Centre
Introductory, foundation and practitioner diploma courses starting this autumn.
Markus or Fong Grasser
01273 747045 email@example.com
ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 19
Food & drink Andrew Kay is digging in to a feast at Terre á Terre firstname.lastname@example.org
Plotting know it’s not long since I was waxing lyrical about the joys of Terre á Terre but I find myself there again in mind, body and in print. You can call it favouritism if you wish, I really don’t care. They are genuinely favourites of mine and right now they are doing so much to create great food that is also affordable they deserve yet another pat on the back, or should I say standing ovation. Their Credit Crunch Munch menu was inspired, delicious and cheap as chips. Now they have Plot to Plate in celebration of National Gardens Week. Mr L and I were off to see Anthony and the Johnsons and decided that we would dine first and Terre á Terre was the place to be. Already busy at 6.45pm, we were shown to a table and offered the new short menu which comprises three courses for a sensible £13.99. There were two courses at every stage so we just said bring the lot and we will decide on arrival. Our first glass of wine was delicious but hefty, a lovely oily mouth-feel and a hint of petrol too. I liked it, but would not want more than one glass and after we settled on a bottle of a much lighter white. I returned a week later for a wine tasting of English sparkling wines that was both entertaining and informative. Out of a good selection I was pleased to say that Breaky Bottom still hits all the right notes, as it has been doing for some years. We tried three, the final one being a Kir Royal which the owner balances himself using blackcurrant liqueur grown and made at the Breaky Bottom estate. An English red was met with far less enthusiasm, heavy in price and light in body, flavour and length. We almost all felt that English reds are for now a bit unsound and that the ‘Terre’ could be put to more profitable and enjoyable use making good whites and fizz. The wine events are thoroughly enjoyable, educational, inexpensive and there is no meanness either – I hate tasting thimbles of wine – here they pour a decent slosh for you to swirl, snort and swallow. I refuse to spit, my mum would hate that. There are also plenty of tasty nibble too to whet your thirst. Back to our Plot to Table dinner. I grabbed the potato latkes with cheese and beets, a fabulous dish of contrasting colours and flavours and a big dish too, very satisfying indeed. I loved a frozen horseradish cream and an apple crisp on top. Mr L had the peashooter with flax crackers and lemon thyme cream. He loved it
“Custard wrapped in filo then deep fried had me whimpering with delight”
but I felt for him as it looked small compared to my plate. He explained that size was not everything. Next he chose the five-a-day bruschetta which really hit the spot with a mountain of tasty and crunchy raw vegetables that put a genuine smile on his face. I was equally enamoured with a pasta dish basking in a creamy new season garlic sauce and tempura wild garlic atop. Puds were epic; a rhubarb and rosehip sorbet, rhubarb compote, custard wrapped in filo then deep fried had me whimpering with delight whilst Mr L went silent as he he devoured gooseberries in ice cream form with digestive biscuits and elder flower syrup. Once again corr, yummy, how do they do it? Simply delicious food that looks good and tastes great too. And satisfying in almost every sense, I never ever leave hungry but also leave wanting more. There is a book in the making and I can’t wait to see it but for now get down there and feast on these extraordinary pricebeating menus while they last. Terre à Terre, The Vegetarian Restaurant, 71 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 729051 www.terreaterre.co.uk
NEW STEINE HOTEL & BISTRO
10/11 New Steine, Brighton BN2 1PB
01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com email@example.com
Restaurant open 7 days 6pm–9.45pm Combining locally sourced produce with French cuisine. Complimented by impeccable service at affordable prices.
Sample daily menu French onion soup * Fresh Salmon tartare Locally caught Pollok a la catalane Sussex lamb chops in Thyme jus tomate provencale Crème caramel * Chocolate mousse *Amaretto ice cream Fri & Sat : 2-course menu £14.50 * 3-course menu £16.50 Sun & Thurs : 2-course menu £10.50 * 3-course menu £12.50
some signature dishes from the a la carte menu Fole gras de canard with warm toast £9.50 British porterhouse steak * Chips, Béarnaise or garlic butter: £12.95 Smoked Haddock fishcake & baby spinach: £10.50 Our famous Crème Brulée: £4.50 Tarte tatin & Calvados crème fraiche: £4.50
NEW STEINE BISTRO’S SUPPER CLUB Celebrates Bastille Day Tuesday 14th July 2009 ‘Sussex Produce meets French Cuisine’ hosted by Henry Butler, 7.30pm for 8pm sit down
menu A complimentary drink on arrival whilst enjoying our Franco English Exhibition Each course is accompanied by Henry’s choice of French wine Local Skate salad with citrus vinaigrette, deep fried leeks & glazed carrots
........ Locally sourced duck breast, caramelised figs, potato galette & vegetable trio
........ Trio of desserts : lemon meringue tart, dark chocolate mousse or caramelised apple surprise.
........ £25 per person inclusive of food, one glass of wine per course. Vat & service. Spaces must be reserved & paid in advance by calling 01273 681546 We look forward to welcoming you. One of Henry’s Butlers wines will be auctioned at the end of the evening on behalf of LGBT switchboard
20 HOT LIST
LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS
Locals and foodies mix in this familyfriendly pub – a hidden gem, which has remained busy through word of mouth. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
Restaurants British and modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit – they do the best chips ever tasted. They appear to have already acquired several of Brighton and Hove’s celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Chimney House Recently opened with a stylish and cosy new interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu, includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a bowl of soup and glass of wine at lunchtime or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar 6-days-a-week excluding Saturday - cocktails from £2.95, wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards over the years, the latest being one of the top 50 bars in the UK. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere.
A smart restaurant serving excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. From a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game and desserts, and a wine list full of affordable treats. Use the terrace when the weather is warm or the dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton BN1 3TD, 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk
Chinese Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie Now opened in the heart of Brighton, on the seafront. The menu has changed, they offer brunch, lunch, tea and dinner from 11am through to 11pm, Monday to Sunday. They’ve gone more mainstream but some of the old favourites remain, along with the French specials, changing regularly on the blackboards. Their European menu was created in response to demand – the credit crunch has hit us all and prices need to be easier on the pocket. Pop in for a croque monsieur during the day, coffee and cake or treat yourself to a cocktail – they have over 30 on the menu. They are now able to cater for parties of all sizes. Contact the restaurant for further information. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie found just down from Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the promises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads. Eat in or take away, there’s something for everyone, including beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro
This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creates the perfect setting for the appreciation of homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their very reasonable priced menu starts at £10.50 for two courses, 12.50 for three courses during the week, and £14.50 for two courses, £16.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm to 9.45pm for last orders seven days a week. 10 & 11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/ restaurant.asp
The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Indian Chaula’s This place is unlike other Indian restaurants – Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
Japanese Moshi Moshi Described by The Times as having a “fanatical following”, Moshi Moshi has become one of the leading restaurants on the South Coast. Known for its fresh, handmade sushi , Moshi Moshi is located in the heart of the Lanes. Become a Moshi member online www.moshimoshi.co.uk and get special discounts. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Moshi Moshi, Opticon, The Lanes, Bartholomew Square, Brighton BN1 1JS, 01273 719195
Thai Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes, sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive wine list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. “Sanuk!” 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabai.uk.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
The Chilli Pickle
The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of the old lanes. The food is regional Indian cuisine executed at the highest level. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food as well as a good selection of thalis and the everpopular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a well chosen wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819 The Chilli Pickle
Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local familyrun business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. There are brilliantvalue meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest hot list call Marie today on 01273 818150 ex102
LATEST LISTINGS 21
YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO WHAT’S ON 30 JUNE– 6 JULY Under review Here’s our roundup of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk Martha and the Vandellas Martha and the Vandellas were always one of Motown’s edgier signings, and the classic Holland-Bozier-Holland production always seemed especially driven and urgent when paired with their sassy attitude. There was plenty of that sassiness in evidence tonight and if the voices weren‘t quite what they once were, it was more than made up for with sheer exuberance, as well as the brilliance of the original arrangements. The girls belted out all their hits including ‘Heat Wave‘, ‘Jimmy Mack‘, ‘Nowhere to Run‘, and the inevitable climax, ‘Dancing In The Streets‘. OK, it could have gone on longer, but they were probably out of breath from doing all the moves. Concorde 2, 19 June
★★★★✩ Candy MacNamara
investment losses through the downfall of RBS. In his words, Sir Fred Goodwin’s pension is worth every penny if it prevents him from coming back and running any business again. Sadly, with little time left before the urgent business of signing and selling books, there was little space for questions from the audience, but all in all, this was a heart-warming display of intellect used to entertain. Theatre Royal, 16 June
★★★★✩ Andrew Kay
Clive James Alone on stage, James looked a little fragile, older maybe and slightly vulnerable to start. His delivery was slower than his TV persona, not as quick fire, but the razor wit was still as sharp as ever. In 90 minutes, he told us about his childhood, his arrival in the UK, his underwear, Barack Obama and his books. The man exuded both charm and genius and is the first figure I have heard laughing off his
Supercharged @ Concorde 2 This is valid reasoning to why my puppy is called Rusko. The Supercharged boys never fail to deliver a night that will dig you up from your bass roots and hurl you about in a cement mixer of beats, sweaty beer boys and effortlessly dressed ladies. Stanton smashed out a set of breaks that got everyone’s feet stampin’ out the littered plastic pints but Rusko really lifted the shirts and rocked everyone to the very core. Channelling out electro drenched danceable dub that smacked you in the face like a waterfall, as neon paint and drinks cascaded around you. Wading home like a paint smeared drowned rat, I felt a sense of pride. This ole‘ Brighton – she still got masses of rave in her. Concorde 2, 20 June
Hot review of the week
Komedia, 17 June
22 Stage Dolly and Dinnerladies
23 Film 3D fun in Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
24 Comedy Stephen Grant on 10 years of Krater comedy
24 Art Zara Wood’s Small Wonders at Boxbird
25 Kids & events Win a family ticket to Drusilla’s Park
Mark Thomas – It’s The Stupid Economy Engaging the mind and putting it into gear, utilising laughter from both plain stand-up comedy funny and downright indignation at some of the legal follies brought to our attention, Mark Thomas was thoroughly engaging and completely on form. Mark is touring the country, collecting a single policy from each gig to add to his manifesto, which he pledges to campaign for. So far, he had an age of consent for religion and the introduction of a maximum wage amongst his policies, and was asking for suggestions for our show. He is obviously utterly taken with the whole concept, which translates into enthusiasm from the audience, captivated as if by a traveller bringing news of the moods of far-off lands. A uniquely engaging and thought-provoking night.
Dolly Parton p22
Billy Bragg Bragg played a blinder. He talked about cynicism, he lambasted the failures of the Labour party, and he had a few pops at Hazel Blears. Then it was a trip down memory lane with songs I’ve heard hundreds of times, yet Bragg’s poetic skill at changing a line kept the songs sounding fresh and showed the man’s genius. Support act, poet Benjamin Zephaniah, is now something of an establishment figure, but his attack on the SPG of the 1980s still has a relevance and poignancy today.
Brighton’s Willkommen Collective, news, gigs and releases reviewed
29 Clubs Seven nights of clubbing euphoria
31 Gay Gearing up for Pride
32 Television So many channels, so little time
Brighton Dome, 17 June
★★★★✩ Alan Meadows
For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk
Well hello… Country stars work 9 to 5 celebrating Dolly Parton at Worthing’s Pavilion Theatre
Canteen caper Andrew Dunn and Shobna Gulati star in Victoria Wood’s Dinnerladies ake one huge hit sitcom, place on a stage in a world premiere national tour starring Andrew Dunn (Tony) and Shobna Gulati (Anita) from the original cast, blend in Victoria Wood’s writing – undoubtedly some of the funniest on television, and whip into a play based on the second TV series, following the reluctant love story of Bren and Tony, egged on by Dolly, Jean, Twinkle and Anita. Mix in caretaker Stan’s words of wisdom and coat with regular appearances by Phillippa from Human Resources and Petula, Bren’s dreadful mother, and you have a recipe for madness, mirth and twelve rounds of toast! For the very first time, Victoria Wood’s hit BBC TV sitcom Dinnerladies comes to the stage as part of a major national tour. The show, which initially ran for two series from 1998 to 2000, was voted 9th in the all-time list of favourite sitcoms, a remarkable feat for a programme where only 16 episodes were ever made. Andrew Dunn and Shobna Gulati are best-known from their roles in Coronation Street, Shobna having played Sunita Alahan for six years and Andrew having recently finished playing the role of Janice’s love interest Roger Stiles. Apart from the opportunity to experience some of Victoria Wood’s funniest writing, Dinnerladies is the perfect feel-good show. Dinnerladies, Theatre Royal, Brighton New Road, Mon 6 – Sat 11 July. Eves 7.45pm, Thu & Sat mats 2.30pm. Box Office 08448 717 650 (bkg fee) www.ambassadortickets.com/brighton
The cast of Dolly will be kicking up dust at Worthing’s Pavilion Theatre on Friday 10 July when the singers, dancers and superb musicians unite to celebrate the career of award-winning country music legend, Dolly Parton. Led by acclaimed singer Jeanne Jordan, the show will take you on a musical journey through Dolly’s early days in the Appalachian Mountains to her arena-filling concerts of today. Jeanne will be joined in the spotlight by Emily Clark, best known for her role as Pandora Rosie Honeybox in Vampires Rock and will portray Dolly through her younger years. Jeanne’s husband BJ Thomas, an acclaimed country musician in his own right, will be taking the role of Kenny Rogers for songs such as ‘Islands In The Stream‘, while their son Luke Thomas, who has just been made an official guitar endorsee for Vintage, plays lead guitar. Produced by Rockman Music, the team behind stage extravaganzas such as Vampires Rock, Dolly never fails to entertain as it showcases the glamorous life and times of Country legend Dolly Parton. Featuring a cast of singers, dancers and top musicians, the live six-piece band comprises some of the UK’s top Country musicians. Packed with all of Dolly’s hits, such as ‘9 to 5’, ‘I Will Always Love You‘, ‘Jolene‘, ‘Here You Come Again‘, ‘Coat of Many Colors‘ and many more, the show is filled with Dolly’s trademark exuberance, fun and humour. You don’t need to go to Nashville to get your cowboy boots tapping – a night with the Dolly show ensures an evening with more sparkle than Dolly’s rhinestones! Dolly, Friday 10 July at 7.45 pm Worthing’s Pavilion Theatre, Marine Parade, Worthing BN11 3PX Tickets: £17.50 (concessions £2.00 off) Box Office: In person at the Connaught and Pavilion theatres Telephone on: 01903 206206. Visit www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
• 7–11 July, 7.45pm plus Wed & Sat 2.30pm, £13.50–£21
Tuesday 30 June to Monday 13 July
Eastbourne: Congress Theatre
Brighton Pavilion Theatre 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Casualties Brighton-based Mad Dogs Theatre Company perform Richard Hurford’s tale of sex, cream cakes and allnight chemists. • 4–5 July, 11am, Sat 7.30pm & 9.30pm, Sun 8pm, £6/5
The Capitol, Horsham 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Sweeney Todd Tanbridge School perform the classic musical thriller about a murderous barber in 19th Century London. • 30 June–2 July, 7.30pm plus Wed 2pm, £8
Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Oklahoma The story of an Oklahoma farm girl, Laurey, who is forced to choose
between Curly, the happy-go-lucky cowboy she loves, and Judd, the mysterious loner she fears. • 30 June–29 August, 7.30pm please check with venue to confirm, £12-36 The House of Special Purpose The story of the deposed Russian Tsar and his family as they are held captive by communist soldiers in post-revolution Russia. • 30 June– 22 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm. Please check with venue to confirm, £26.50
Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Brief Encounter Noel Coward’s ever popular film gets a stage makeover from Kneehigh Theatre Company. Recently finished in the West End.
01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Evita Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s extraordinary musical about Evita Peron, wife of Argentinian dictator Juan Peron, comes to the stage. • 6 July–18 July, 7.30pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, no performances Sundays, £23–£35
The Hawth, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk We’re Going On A Bear Hunt The classic Michael Rosen picture book is performed on stage. Suitable for children over three years old. • 1–2 July, Wed 2pm & 4.30pm & Thurs 10am & 2pm, £8.50–£10 Circles in the sand This interactive show gives children up to three years the chance to explore, discover and play with sand, led by Tam Tam Theatre’s Marleen Vermeulen. • 10–11 July, Fri 10.30am & 1.30pm & Sat 11am & 2pm, £6.
New Venture Theatre, Brighton 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Mademoiselle Y A performance event of dance and drama exploring the tensions within August Strindberg's play 'The Stronger'. An opportunity to view the original play and go on a journey of physical and vocal interpretations of the silent protagonist. • 8–11 July, 7.45pm, £6-£8.50.
Theatre Royal 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Deceptions Paul Wheeler’s new play is the ultimate mind game, taking you into a world where deception is the ruling force. Starring Michelle Collins (Eastenders) and Rupert Hill (Coronation Street). • 30 June–4 July, 7.45pm plus Wed and Sat 2.30pm, £15-£26 Dinnerladies Victoria Wood’s TV comedy is back, this time on the stage. With several members of the TV cast, this promises to be a treat for Dinnerladies fans. • 6 July–11 July, 7.45pm plus Thurs and Sat 2.30pm, £12–£26
0871 224 4007 Tuesday 30 THE HANGOVER (15) 3.00, 6.15, 8.45 MY SISTER’S KEEPER (12A) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00, 8.15 ROYAL OPERA HOUSE: LA TRAVIATA LIVE (TBC) 7.00 SUNSHINE CLEANING (15) 12.30, 3.45, 6.30 SURVEILLANCE (18) 9.30 TELSTAR – THE JOE MEEK STORY (15) 11.45am TERMINATOR SALVATION (12A) 12.15, 3.15 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 5.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00 YEAR ONE (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 7.00, 9.15
Wednesday 1 THE HANGOVER (15) 3.00, 6.15, 8.45 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 12.45, 1.45, 3.15, 4.15, 5.45, 6.45, 9.00 MY SISTER’S KEEPER (12A) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00, 8.15 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 2.15, 5.15, 8.30, 9.30 SUNSHINE CLEANING (15) 12.30 TELSTAR – THE JOE MEEK STORY (15) 11.45am
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 5.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00 YEAR ONE (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 7.00, 9.15
Thursday 2 THE HANGOVER (15) 3.00, 6.15, 8.45 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 12.45, 1.45, 3.15, 4.15, 5.45, 6.45, 9.00 MARLEY AND ME (PG) 10.30am MY SISTER’S KEEPER (12A) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00, 8.15 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 2.15, 5.15, 8.30, 9.30 SUNSHINE CLEANING (15) 12.30 TELSTAR – THE JOE MEEK STORY (15) 11.45am TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 5.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00 YEAR ONE (12A) 10.40, 1.30, 4.00, 7.00, 9.15
Films showing Friday 3–Monday 6 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM SHOWINGS AND TIMES
01273 626261 Tuesday 30
GOOD (15) 11.00am ROYAL OPERA HOUSE LIVE: LA TRAVIATA (TBC) 6.40 RUDO Y CURSI (15) 1.30, 4.00
BEATABET () 23.59 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00
Wednesday 1 GOOD (15) 11.00am RUDO Y CURSI (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
Thursday 2 RUDO Y CURSI (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
Saturday 4 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 1.30, 4.15, 7.15, 10.15
Sunday 5 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 11.00am, 2.00, 5.00, 8.00
Monday 6 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 12.15, 3.15, 6.15, 9.15
0871 200 2000 Tuesday 30
THE HANGOVER (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.40, 9.15 MY SISTER’S KEEPER (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.15, 8.50 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 1.10 TERMINATOR SALVATION (12) 1.20, 4.00, 6.50, 9.30 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 12.50, 1.40, 2.30, 4.20, 5.00, 5.45, 7.40, 8.15, 9.00 YEAR ONE (12A) 11.50am, 2.15, 4.40, 7.10, 9.40
THE HANGOVER (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.40, 9.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 3.30, 6.00 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D(U) 11.40am, 12.40, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 MY SISTER’S KEEPER (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.15, 8.50 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 11.45am, 2.40, 5.35, 8.40 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 12.50, 2.30, 4.20, 5.45, 7.40, 9.00 YEAR ONE (12A) 11.50am, 2.15, 4.40, 7.10, 9.40
Wednesday 1 THE HANGOVER (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.40, 9.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 3.30, 6.00 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 11.40am, 12.40, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 MY SISTER’S KEEPER (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.15, 8.50 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 11.45am, 2.40, 5.35, 8.40 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 12.50, 2.30, 4.20, 5.45, 7.40, 9.00 YEAR ONE (12A) 11.50am, 2.15, 4.40, 7.10, 9.40
Films showing Friday 3–Monday 6 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES
L7 lowdown What’s on this week
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (12A) Dir: Michael Bay Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox return to look beautiful, make friends with Autobots and battle evil Decepticons out to destroy the world in some truly awesome big budget blow ups. Joining this pretty crew are Rainn Wilson and Josh Duhamel. Cool. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
hangover and can’t quite remember what happened the night before? Well that’s basically what happens here. Many things seem out of place as a group of young guys on a stag do in Vegas awake with sore heads. As they retrace their steps from the night before, all sorts of shenanigans are uncovered. It’s not highbrow, but it’s fun! Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (U) Dir: Carlos Saldanha The prehistoric animation returns once more. This time it’s more of a family affair, with many of the characters starting their family. How very sweet... except, there are lots of dinosaurs everywhere! Catch it in 3D at certain screenings. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught
Public Enemies (15) Dir: Michael Mann Johnny Depp, Christian Bale and Marion Cotillard star in this ‘Depression era’ thriller. Based on a true story, Depp plays popular bank robber extraordinaire John Dillinger, who steals from the hated banks. Cotillard plays his girlfriend Billie Frechette, while Bale is the FBI agent Melvin Purvis, tasked with stopping all the bank robbing. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Duke of Yorks
Year One (12A) Dir: Harold Ramis This American comedy stars Jack Black and Michael Cera as two lazy hunter-gatherers, banished from their primative village in biblical times. They embark upon an epic journey and attempt to free the women they hope to ‘lay with’. Also featuring Hank Azaria (Moe and Chief Wiggum in The Simpsons) and Vinnie Jones. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught Telstar – The Joe Meek Story (15) Dir: Nick Moran The true story of Joe Meek, amphetamine addict, paranoid genius and the world’s first independent record producer. Enjoying massive success with ‘Telstar’ in the 60s, Meek’s high ride led to an incredible tale of sex, drugs and rock’n’roll. This is a great snapshot of British pop history. Showing at Odeon The Hangover (15) Dir: Todd Phillips You know when you wake up with a
Good (15) Dir: Vicente Amorim Good is the story of John Halder, a German literature professor in the 1930s. Despite his initial reluctance, Halder eventually agrees to join the Nazis and is quickly carried up the party ranks, as Germany rides a wave of nationalism and prosperity. The more involved he becomes, the more his friendship with a Jew becomes strained. Showing at Duke Of York’s Rudo y Cursi (15) Dir: Carlos Cuaron Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna play brothers, united in their passion for football, living in a small Mexican town. One dreams of being a goalie, the other of being a singer, but is better at football than singing. Together they are discovered – but are offered only one professional place. Showing at Duke Of York’s
01903 206206 Tues 30 – Thurs 2
Wednesday 1-Monday 6
LAST CHANCE HARVEY (12A) 7.30pm YEAR ONE (12A) 5.30pm, 8pm
ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 5pm (Wed & Thurs), 6pm (Fri), 1.30pm, 4.30pm, 7pm (Sat-Mon) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
24 STAND-UP COMEDY | ART
A laughing matter Victoria Nangle hands over to Stephen Grant to celebrate Krater’s 10th birthday
he following question will sound like a feed line for a joke, but it isn’t. What does Viagra, Post-its, and the Krater Club at Komedia all have in common? They’re all hugely successful creations that actually came about by accident*. So, in the case of Brighton’s most successful comedy club’s 10th year, it seems a good point to reflect on how it came to be. Hard to believe, but when you stage a show to at least 1000 people a week in one venue in Brighton, you don’t think it came about through basic laziness, but that is sadly the case. I’d love to tell all you business types that I spotted a gap in the entertainment market and aggressively strategised a new ‘sales leader’, but in actual fact, I was a new stand-up comedian back then who was having to do a round trip to London every other night in order to get stage time. Due to me still having to do a day job, time and cost dictated this was becoming impossible, so what I needed was a comedy club in Brighton, on my doorstep, where at the very least I could save the £7.50 train fare. After a few duff attempts at other venues, such as the Beach Club (freezing), the Font & Ferkin (nobody could see or hear you) and the Cybar on Middle Street (an internet café – the night was called “Virtual Hilarity”), I found out that Komedia had just taken over a building on Gardner Street. I persuaded the guys there to let me run a fortnightly show, and when picking the name, noticed that the room we were going to use was still a hole in the ground – so ‘Krater’ was born. Krater went from one show every two weeks to four shows a week in just two years, but why was this club so successful whereas others not so? I think the reason is simple; right room, right place, right town. Comics from across the UK started contacting me, asking to come and play the gig – because they wanted a weekend away and they knew how enthusiastic and supportive Brighton audiences can be. This allowed me to cherry pick the very best comedians around; and with the venue stomaching my ever-so exacting standards on lighting, sound, and room layout, everything just clicked. It really was as simple as that. Ten years on and Krater is a Brighton baby that most locals can be rightly proud of. I certainly am.
* Post-its were invented when someone mistakenly came up with a batch of glue that never seemed to dry, Viagra was originally a cardio-vascular drug where the people taking it during the clinical trials noted a ‘curious side effect’. But not with the girls.
Krater Comedy Club is on Fridays at 7.30pm, Saturdays at 7pm & 10.30pm and Sundays at 8pm at Komedia, Gardner Street, Brighton.
Comedy listings Tuesday 30 Richard Herring A brand-new show from the star of Lee and Herring’s Fist of Fun, following up from last year’s hit touring show The Headmaster’s Son. So good he’s on twice in one night! Three And Ten, 8pm & 9pm, £7.
London Unity, 9pm, free Tag Comedy Stand-up comedy without the safety net. Stephen Grant and three top comedians in this improv-crazy night of giggles. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50
Sunday 5 Thursday 2 Walks Into A Bar Local new acts and new material converge on this Hanover curry pub. The
Bent Double Gay-friendly stnad-up hosted by the amazing Zoe Lyons with Paul Sinha, Tiffany Stevenson and Seann
Walsh. Komedia, 7.30pm, £10/8
Monday 6 Edinburgh Previews: Andrew O’Neill and Robin Ince Versus the Moral Majority The Funny Farm present a couple of the best Edinburgh previews. A fiver to see the pair! The Farm Tavern, 8pm and 9.30pm, £5
World of wonders Fascination with nature is explored in a new exhibition Zara Wood’s Small Wonders is set to transform Boxbird Gallery into a museum of imagination this summer. Fascinated by the natural world and century old expeditions, Zara Wood has always been inspired by collections from the New York Natural History Museum and the Pitts Rivers in Oxford. A young Zara could often be found making up epic adventure stories in the garden, stroking bumble bees, climbing trees and adopting lost or stray animals. “Nature can be so fantastical in all its intricacies, it’s the perfect context for drawing and letting your imagination run away with itself,” she says. Zara will be exhibiting new cardboard dioramas encased in delicately reclaimed display cases – reminiscent of museum collections. Small Wonders, Boxbird, until 12 July.
Art listings Ditchling Museum Church Lane, Ditchling 01273 844744 Drawn from Ditchling: Portraits from a Sussex Village Portraits from the Museum’s collection – paintings and drawings, caricatures and photographs, word and film – celebrate the artists who have lived in Ditchling as well as local people who have drawn, painted and photographed in this village. • Until December 2009, Tues–Sat 10.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm
• Until 12 July, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm
Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens 01273 290900 The American Scene: Prints From Hopper to Pollock 56 modern American artists are featured at this popular exhibition documenting America from the turn of the century to the 1950s. • Until 31 Aug, Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm
by donating original work to the 2009 Quentin Follies Art Auction. This exhibition/auction offers the chance to purchase original works of art, with all proceeds going to the Quentin Bell Commemoration Fund. • Until 11 July, Wed–Sun 12.30–6pm
Boxbird St. John’s Road, Hove 01273 734295 Zara Wood: Small Wonders Solo exhibition by this character-driven illustrator. •Until 12 July
De La Warr Pavilion
96 North Road 01273 645299 Lidia De Pedro: The Best Man & Company Originals, limited editions, hand-finished screen prints, box sets and perspex work for this Spanish artist’s first solo show.
Firle, Lewes 01323 811626 The Quentin Follies Art Auction Exhibition Some of Britain’s best artists, including Sir Peter Blake and Maggi Hambling, have supported Charleston farmhouse
Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 Beuys Is Here: Sculpture Object Action Revolution Exhibtion of sculpture by Joseph Beuys. • Until 27 September, Mon–Fri 10am–5pm
KIDS & EVENTS | SPORT 25
Competition: Win a day ticket for four at Drusillas
This week, Latest 7 have teamed up with Drusillas to give away four great family days out. We’ll be handing out four separate family tickets to Drusillas Park; the ideal place to occupy your little monkeys during the school holidays. Each family ticket allows four people free entry. Drusillas offers an opportunity to get nose to nose with nature, with hundreds of exotic animals to see, from monkeys and crocodiles to penguins and meerkats. Don’t miss the two new Fennec Foxes or some close encounters in Lemurland. You can also watch many of the animals being fed during the day at the Keeper Talks, such as the penguins at 11.30am and 4.00pm daily. However, animals are only half the fun! The new state-ofthe-art attraction, Go Wild! combines a multi-levelled labyrinth of adventure play, jampacked with oodles of sliding, jumping and climbing activities. Young adventurers can enjoy an African theme as well as a colourful medley of fun equipment and imaginative play.
Plus there are all the old favourites too. The indoor soft play complex, Amazon Adventure, is the perfect place to hang out come rain or shine and Thomas the Tank Engine offers a train service 362 days a year. There’s also Jungle Adventure Golf, Panning for Gold, Explorers’ Lagoon paddling pool and an interesting and varied event diary that runs throughout the year.
Latest Sport highlights some of the Albion’s key fixtures to get yourself along to next season
For further information call 01323 874100 or visit the website: www.drusillas.co.uk
• Yeovil v Brighton 3pm Saturday 10 October Russell Slade revisits his old team hoping for a second win at Yeovil since becoming Albion manager.
To be in with a chance to win one of our four family day tickets, just tell us: What is Drusillas new state-of-the-art attraction called? To win, email: email@example.com with 'Drusillas' in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 13 July. Please note, each family ticket allows four people to enter the Park and can be made up of any combination of adults and children.
• Southampton v Brighton 3pm Saturday 14 November The first game in a sequence the Albion will face against the big guns with this trip along the coast to former Premiership contenders.
Paddle Round the Pier Beach Festival This weekend welcomes the charity festival for surfers. Various watersports take place in the sea, while landlubbers can visit the stalls and exhibitions or listen to live music from local bands on Hove Lawns. Entrance is free, but organisers suggest a donation of £1, with proceeds going to
SurfAid International, The Royal National Lifeboat Institution and the Rockinghorse Foundation. Paddle Round the Pier Beach Festival, Hove Lawns and the sea, 9am–10pm Saturday and 9am–6pm Sunday, Free (suggested donation £1).
Sunday 5 Hanover Day Sunday brings a local festival of music, arts,
• Millwall v Brighton 7.45pm Friday 28 August This game has been moved forward a day to the Friday evening after a police request. Let’s hope the Albion can steal the points again after Adam Virgo’s header clinched it for the Albion last season.
• Brighton v Leeds 3pm Saturday 21 November Leeds will be one of the bookies‘ favourites to win promotion, for the third year in a row! Let’s hope the Albion will be up there too. • Norwich v Brighton 7.45pm Tuesday 24 November Then it‘s off to the East Country to play yet another fallen star from the Premiership. • Brighton v Charlton 7.45pm Tuesday 1 December And another one a week later... • Brighton v Leyton Orient 3pm Saturday 26 December There’s nothing like a decent home Boxing Day fixture to wash down all those dry turkey sandwiches, especially against one of the Albion’s historic rivals. • Brighton v Millwall 3pm Saturday 30 January The 4-1 Albion victory in this fixture last year was their best of all last season. Let’s hope they can see out 2009 with a repeat performance. • Leeds v Brighton 3pm Saturday 20 February There’s nothing like playing in the bigger stadiums to help raise players‘ spirits. And they don’t get much bigger than Elland Road in League One. • Brighton v Yeovil 3pm Saturday 8 May It doesn’t get sweeter than a plumb home tie against the manager’s former team on the last day of the season. What a stage for a grand finale? You couldn’t have made it up.
Events listings Saturday 4–Sunday 5
• Brighton v Walsall 3pm Saturday 8 August Well it’s about time the Albion kicked off a season at home with the boys looking for revenge after the humiliating 0-1 home loss against Walsall’s nine men in this fixture last season.
Please note, these matches are correct at time of press but may be rescheduled.
culture and lifestyle events. The weekend includes five stages: a street festival, parade and a market. The theme is ‘The Hanging Gardens of Hanover’, so come dressed as something garden themed. Hanover Day, Hanover Centre, 11am–6pm, Free. hanoverday.wordpress.com
Get your tickets... Call 01273 776992 5–6 Queens Road, Brighton New city centre store opening soon!
26 MUSIC NEWS
with Jeff Hemmings
★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★ Al Perkins
Very welcome Brighton’s Willkommen Collective are at Stanmner House this weekend. Jeff Hemmings reports
Top dog Pedal steel, folk rock and Americana fans will be pleased to hear that the legendary Al Perkins is back in the country, this time with his Big Dog 3 band which also includes Brady Blade and Chris Donohue. Brigitte DeMeyer will be guesting on some tracks. Perkins has played with a veritable who’s who including: Gram Parons, Rolling Stones, Dolly Parton, Chris Hillman and Manassas among others. Thursday 2 July, Latest Music Bar
Wade in Around 20,000 surfers, music fans and watersport users are expected to descend on Hove Lawns this weekend for the annual Paddle Around The Pier. As always, there is a fantastic line up of bands over the two days including Soul Reality, the Led Zep tribute band Letz Zep, Los Albertos, Wide Eyed Order, Seeker, Suspiciously Elvis, Kovak, Grand Majestic, The Half Sisters, Titan System, Two Spot Gobi, Mean Poppa Lean and many more. It’s all for a number of deserving charities including RNLI, SurfAid International, and The Rockinghorse Appeal which rely on donations from the public, as the event itself is free! Saturday 4 & Sunday 5 July, Hove Lawns
Sunday 2 November, Concorde 2
Reverend & The Makers
resh from the success of three showcases for Brighton Festival, Brighton’s Willkommen Records continue their quest to play high profile events and special venues this year. “We looked at Charleston Farmhouse and Middle Farm but in the end we decided that Stanmer House would be perfect for us,” says Willkommen Collective’s Marcus Hamblett. “We’ve got the ground floor and the adjoining sides; there’s a stage in one of the rooms, plus we’ll have use of a couple of other rooms on the ground floor. And there’ll be an adjoining marquee which opens out in to the garden with the fountain. So, we’re covered by all weather eventualities!” Willkommen Records has made a huge impression in Brighton over the last couple of years; The Leisure Society made history recently by becoming the first unpublished act to be nominated for an Ivor Novello Award, the prestigious songwriters awards held every year. ”Guy Garvey (of Elbow) said he thought we should have won it. But it’s been great for us, raising our profile quite a lot,” says Marcus. Meaning ‘welcome’ in German, the collective is run by a dozen or so musicians
from a number of bands including Sons of Noel and Adrian, The Miserable Rich and The Leisure Society. “The name refers to the collective nature of it, and that it‘s very welcoming; but it’s also a play on a cellist called Will who plays in nearly all the bands!” Being a collective must mean there is a lot of meetings and decision making? “We run things on a project-by-project basis; we don’t have that many arguments. We’re very organised which helps, but sometimes we do argue about touring because all the bands share the same string section!” At the end of August the Willkommen Collective will ‘do battle’ with friendly foes The Fence Collective, from whom they took much of their inspiration at the splendid art deco masterpiece the De La Warr Pavilion. The Leisure Society, Alessi’s Ark, Peggy Sue, Sons of Noel and Adrian, Caroline Weeks, Robert Stillman plus more to be announced, Sunday 5 July, Stanmer House. Tickets available from Resident Records and wegottickets.com
UPCOMING GIGS La Excelenci 9 July, Old Market Freak Power 10 July, Concorde 2 Down Home Festival 10–12 July Still Black:Still Proud 13 July, Concorde 2 Nitin Sawnhey 18 July, Concorde 2 Hadouken! 1 Aug, Concorde 2 Easy Star All Stars 5 Aug, Concorde 2 Wedding Present 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Bill Callahan 18 Aug, St. Georges Church Wedding Present 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Sister Sledge 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Beachdown 28–31 August Average White Band 8 Sept, Concorde 2 Talvin Singh 23 Sept, Concorde 2 Kelly Joe Phelps 29 Sept, Komedia Brighton Live 30 Sept–3 Oct
Hockey 1 October, Digital Joan Baez 5 Oct, Dome Zero 7 6 Oct, Dome Wilko Johnson 8 October, Old Market Skindred 19 Oct, Concorde 2 Orquesta Buena Social Club 20 Oct, Dome Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre Indigo Girls 26 October, Concorde 2 Dizzee Rascal 27 Oct, Dome Reverend & The Makers 2 Nov, Concorde 2 Dreadzone 20 Nov, Komedia UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper 5 Dec, Brighton Centre James Morrison 8 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre Lily Allen 13 Dec, Brighton Centre
Tuesday 30 June to Monday 6 July
Tuesday 30 June to Monday 6 July
Tuesday 30 June
Greg Holden + Andy Walker Enrapturing acoustic sound and poignant lyrics. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4/3. In Unison Celebrating the talents of pupils from Bexhill schools and colleges. De La Warr Pavilion, 7pm, £5/3. Mondo Kong + Rocket Dolls Prince Albert, 8pm, free. People In Planes Simple rock pleasures meets imagination. Freebutt, 7.30pm, free. Tuned In Bexhill primary schools share the results of their year long recorder music projects. De La Warr Pavilion, 2pm, £2.
Al Perkins Big Dog 3 + Brigette DeMeyer The maestro of the pedal/lap steel, dobro and guitar, Al Perkins is steppin’ out. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £12/10. Folk Club Feat. Christine Collister Critically acclaimed award winning British folk, blues and jazz singer-songwriter. The Open House, 8pm, £5. Kong Promotions Presents Rob The Rich + The Grams + The Pangs + Jukebox Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/5. Molly’s Game + Wanderdown The Hope, 8pm, £4/3 NUS. Parlophones Music from the golden age of pop and beat, dealt out by the South Coast’s premier tribute band. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £7/6. Silversun Pickups + Animal Kingdom + An Horse Stylish gothic-edged sounds, fun with fuzz and beauty found in noise. Digital, 7.30pm, £9. The Lieutenants Mistress + My Tour Of Suty + Monocure The Providence, 8pm, £1.
Wednesday 1 July Club NME with Way Tangent + Arthur + Jukebox Vandals Club Rock and indie showcase. Brighton Coalition, 10.30pm, free. La Excelencia Explosive 12-piece Salsa live band! The Old Market, 7pm, £13. Los Turistas Del Flamenco A vibrant six-piece band playing energetic flamenco. Grand Central, 6pm, free. Luchagors (U.S. feat – WWE’s Lita) + support Engine Rooms, 7pm, £5. OK @The Western with Jack Raven + Matt Baker + Bertie Western Front, 8pm, free. Ozomatli + Support Celebrated Los Angeles culture-mashers bring their blend of Latino, hiphop and funk. Concorde 2, 8pm, £12.50. The Race + King of Spain + My Device + Anton Barbeau Freebutt, 7.30pm, free.
Thursday 2 The Bar-Kays This concert is now cancelled. The Old Market. CANCELLED Bryan Adams Lock up your wives as the gravelly voiced, fashionably stubbled, soft rock icon hits town. Dome, 7pm, £60. Deerhoof + Support Complex emotions collides with lo-fi rock ‘n’ roll. Concorde 2, 8pm, £9.50. Freddie McGregor and the Millennium Band Pavilion Theatre, 8pm, £14/12. It’s Alive Presents... Aaron King + Flash Bang Band + Marcus Hessenberg Hectors House, 8.30pm, free. Jam Live with Dirty Epics + Heels Catch Fire Aggresively infectious live show with Spiky punk-pop tracks and a racy, kick-ass lead lady. Jam, 8pm, £5. Portugal The Man Indie, rock, punk with subtle blusey guitar solos and sweet, soulful crooning vocals. Freebutt, 7.30pm, free. Soundfactory Stripped presents Que + Amy Newhouse + UFO The Providence, 8pm, £1. The Nightingales + Christy & Emily + Fractured + La La Vasquez Prince Albert, 8pm, free. The Stash Presents The Laylanas + Amity + Puritans The Hope, 8pm, £4/3 NUS.
Saturday 4 Inner Terrestrials Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc. Retro Electric Gettin’ the floor jumping with their fresh blend of funk and soul classics with a twist of pop. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4. Supper Club With Michael T Clayton + The Tallahassee Tornadoes Celebrating American independence with swing band drums, crossover jazz and Rockabilly guitar. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £28/22. Surfin’ Lungs + Los Fantasticos + Squadron Leaders Prince Albert, 8pm, free. The Fatigue + Boy Cried Wolf + The Joplins Local indie-rockers meet twists of country rock. The Open House, 8pm, £1.
Sunday 5 Peter and The Wolf + Planet Earth + Stars of Sunday League + Mariner’s Children Beautiful folk vibes, acoustic and melodramatic pop. The Hope, 8pm, £tbc. Prefuse 73 + Support Industrial electro popsych. Audio, 7pm, £tbc. Random Hand + The Skints + support In your face ska-punk-metal mashup! Engine Rooms, 7pm, £5. Terry de Castro + David Gedge A mix of Indie and Americana layered with De Castro’s lifting, soulful voice. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £5/4.
Monday 6 Breakthrough with Rough Trade Brighton’s best breaking acts. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £5/4 NUS. M83 Songs which explore what it means to be dazed, confused and 15-years-old. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £10. Jaime Pettit
La Excelencia This 12-piece Cuban band were formed in 2005 in New York, bringing a new outlook to salsa music and writing about social issues. The hard life of the barrio is reflected in their music through hardcore Salsa sounds known as ’Salsa Dura.’ Wednesday 1 July, Old Market Inner Terrestrials Mixing hardcore, punk and dub to create a powerful and eclectic sound, they’ve been at it since 1996 developing a loyal audience via shows at squat parties/centres, festivals, demo’s and protest sites all over Europe. Featuring veteran agitator Paco (formerly of anarchist punk legends Conflict) the debut album was released in ‘96. Saturday 4 July, Engine Room Terry DeCastro Former Goya Dress member (along with Astrid Williamson) and currently a
member of The Wedding Present, Terry has just released an album of cover versions but with a difference. Each songwriter on A Casa Verde is a personal friend and musical collaborator of DeCastro’s. The result is a warm, west coast sound (she is from Amercia) reminiscent of Elliot Smith. Astrid Williamson is also on the bill and Wedding Present frontman David Gedge will be spinning some tunes. Sunday 5 July, Latest Music Bar M83 Anthony Gonzalez formed M83 in Antibes, France in 2001, with the experiences of those formative teenage years featuring prominently in his music, and as the defining theme of the stunning, ethereal new album Saturdays = Youth. Inspired by the 80s sounds of bands such as Tears For Fears and Cocteau Twins whom he states amongst his inspirations. Monday 6 July, Concorde 2
28 MUSIC REVIEWS | CHART
REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases he respected singer songwriter David Saw has been struggling to break out of the confines of an inner circle of admirers that includes Ray Davies, Chris Difford, Robert Cray and Judie Tzuke. A chance meeting with Ben Taylor (James Taylor’s son) led him to re-locate to Martha’s Vineyard to stay with Ben and his mother Carly Simon, and having the pleasure of playing at Bill Clinton’s birthday where the trio performed one of David’s songs ‘Quiet Evening.’ Broken Down Figure is a melancholy work about life, relationships, love lost and romance. Nothing new there, but there’s no denying his immaculate songcraft which extends to more upbeat workouts such as ’Buy My Record.’ Brighton’s The Impellers are quickly making an impression upon a city that is already blessed with some cracking funk soul outfits such as Alice Russell, Laura Vane and Quantic’s vintage funk projects. Their debut single ‘How Am I?’ is an urgent slice of minimalist funk that is, of course, very funky. It’s out on respected funk-obsessed label Freestyle Records, their A&R man is Beachdown Festival (and former Jazz Café programmer) Adrian Gibson, and the debut album will be launched this summer. All good! London sextet The Goldheart Assembly are making big waves with their superbly executed classic pop tuneage. ‘So Long St Christopher’ shows off their balladry while ‘Oh Really’ is a reverb rich slice of garage pop. Singers James Dale and John Herbert met while working as zookeepers and apparently bonded over a shared love of Tom Waits and The Band’s Last Waltz. Oddly enough, they sound nothing like the aforementioned, instead soaking themselves with the groovy sounds of the 60s. For these ears it’s a little too retro and in awe of a time they can only guess. However, there’s no denying their songcraft and passion. New York based ruskie Regina Spektor was originally an acquired taste of avante-garde kookiness, before she stumbled upon a pop sensibility which suddenly transformed her into a delicious proposition as heard on the quite brilliant Begin To Hope. New album Far is an extension of that; although it’s a little more stripped back in places, but still featuring that wonderfully intimate voice married to her excellent keyboard skills and a natural ear for a melody and story. Very classy.
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 Portslade – Waking Up ★ 2 The Adam Kidd Band – Into The Night 3 Carnival Collective – Freak Rocket 4 900 Spaces – Shake it Up 5 Tubba 3 Ply – Gerhard 6 Nig2dmic – Now’s the time (World Cup song 2010) 7 Ree – No Time To Waste 8 Heavyman – Roses 9 12 Stone Toddler – Batten Down The Hatches (Extended Version) 10 The Mojo Fins – In The Script The world’s still ‘Waking Up’ to the sound of Portslade’s trip hop at one as The Adam Kidd Band take us gently ‘Into the Night’ at two. Carnival Collective intoxicate us with their rhythmic beats whilst 900 spaces keep us sweet with their sugar coated discoindie. Tubba 3 Ply also creep back up the chart to five. 21 Chaos Borne I Will 22 Heavyman Tomb Kreator Vs Heavyman 23 Chaos Borne The Moment 24 Tractor Countdown Little Things 25 Tractor Countdown Love’s Elusions 26 Kiyomori None of The Above 27 Surfhunter Bessie 28 Victoria Ferguson & Ben Ingall I Shouldn’t 29 Victoria Ferguson & Ben Ingall Every Time 30 Mr Resonate Brighton Bubblin feat. Lionheart
11 No Sharp Objects The Wrong Kind Of Love 12 Jaybee Crazy Pearl 13 Chaos Borne Watching 14 Nig2dmic Waiting not waisted 15 Jaybee My imaginary friend 16 Jaybee Amen 17 Jaybee Miles To Go 18 Jaybee Identity 19 No Sharp Objects Home 20 White Star Liners Tyre Pressure Was The Least Of His Worries
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BARS & CLUBS 29
Bar & Club listings
Bar & Club highlights
Tuesday 30 June to Monday 6 July
Tuesday 30 June to Monday 6 July
Tuesday 30 Audio Snide. 10pm–2am, £3/2. Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, free. Digital Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS. Funky Buddha Lounge Subsplash. All star dub tracks and dub on the rising. 10.30pm, £3/free. New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! 10pm, £2. Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and punk mash-up. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1.
Wednesday 1 July Arc Life is Easy. A mid-week interlude. 10pm, free b4 12/£1 after. Audio Supercharged. Beats?! You ain’t got Jack, til you got Jack Beats. 11pm–2.30am, £5/3. Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest with live bands and DJs. 10.30pm–3.30am, free. Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’n’B, hip-hop, dance hall and funky house. 10pm, free/£2. Volks Genetics. Liquid, soulful, progressive bass and breaks. 10pm–3am, £1 b4 12/£2 after.
Thursday 2 Audio Shameless presents Quids In. 11pm, £1. Funky Buddha Lounge Love Lockdown. 7.30pm, £tbc. Honey Club Contagious. House and dance anthems. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1. New Hero Pop Kraft. 10pm–2am, £2. Om Bar and Club Thank Funk Its Thursday. Funk, dub,reggae and dub-step. 8.30pm, free. Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the 80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2.
Friday 3 Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. 60s dance floor classics. 11pm–3am, £3. Audio Minimal Kids Launch Party. 11pm–4am, £4/2. Digital Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll, DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4. Engine Rooms Deviant. 11pm–3am, £5/3. Funky Buddha Lounge Release Presents ‘La Playa’. Latin house, hip hop and reggaeton. 11pm–6am, £8/6. Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50. Hanbury Club Free Friday! The American Way. DJ Blu Rondo spins funk and soul fuelled disco. 8.30pm–2am, free. Honey Club Hardsouth. Diamond blasting hard dance with Andy Farley and Rob Tissera. 11pm–5am, £10/5. Komedia Stone To The Bone. Spinning superbad 70s Motown, psychedelic soul and funk grooves. 11pm, £5. New Hero Somewhere in the Universe… Alternative electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3. Ocean Rooms Strobe. Residents spinning an eclectic mash-up of styles plus pound drinks
when the strobe strikes. 10.30pm, £2. Pavilion Tavern Kick Out the Jams. Rock’n’Roll. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night. 10pm–3am, £5/4. Tru Crunch. 10pm–2am, £5/free b4 11. Volks T.A.A.R.T Brighton Heats – Fundraiser for T.A.A. 11pm–5am, £5/3.
Saturday 4 Al Duomo Shebeen. 10pm–4am, £5. Arc Hold Up. Indie night. 10.30pm–4am, £5. Audio Summer of Love. 11pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition Junkbox. Electro tech club night, headed by the seriously professional party folk, De Puta Madre. 11pm–4am, £12/10. Concorde 2 Foreign Beggars. 11pm, £5. Digital The Pussycat Club – Tropical Beach Party. Get sinful with cutting edge funky electro and dirty house plus stonking hot live performance. 11pm, £12/10. Engine Rooms Born Bad. Alternative madness for glamorous girls and boys. 11pm–3am, £5/4. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10. Followed By: Upside Down After-Hours. 3am, £5/3. Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50. Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house. 10.30pm–5am, £12/5 NUS. Jam EBoogie. E-lectronic Pop. 9pm–2am, free. La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house music from across the world. 8pm–4am, £6/free b4 11. New Hero It is Still 1985. An alternative 80s night! 10pm, £3. Ocean Rooms Fiesta 11pm–4am, £6/8. Om Bar and Club Balearic Jukebox. Eclectic diversity with genre-breaking Balearic sounds. 9pm, £3. Po Na Na .Silk. R’n’B, funky house, commercial. 10pm–3am, £10/5. Tru Girl’s Night Out. 9pm, £8.50/free. Volks Psychedelicious. A tantalising mix of treats from psytrance to breaks, prog and ElectroTek. 11pm–5am, £7/8.
with Jaime Pettit Minimal Kids Launch Party More than just a basement bash, this is a movement, a way of life! A movement of fashion, music and visual art stripped down to its most fundamental features. Clicks and bleeps finally have a Brighton playground to fidget and play in. So all you minimal heads, come out of the closet and let Berlin’s Daniel Steinberg and local boy Vincent Manganaro drown you in minimal and techno beats. Friday 3 July, Audio
T.A.A.R.T Brighton Heats – Fundraiser for T.A.A 50 DJs, two rooms across five cities, this is the TAA Rave Tour. Ten DJs will be chosen from each city to throw out some beats and fly the flag for their base city. Come to Brighton’s selection where our nominees will be spinning tracks from ska and jungle to hardcore and techno for the chance to represent us. Friday 3 July, Volks Shebeen Be prepared to dance, sweat and drink to the health of the Shebeen! The Specials’ Jerry Dammers will provide an old skool dance session of funk, jazz, reggae and hip-hop. Saturday 4 July, Al Duomo
Foreign Beggars A night so epic it has its own gravitational pull all for a wallet pleasing fiver. The Foreign Beggars have roots ranging from jazz and classical to hip hop and metal! Combined they serve up one of the most explosive live rap showcases on the planet! With support from Hospital’s D’n’B titan Cyantific and DJ Chef spreading the dirty dubstep virus with his bassed out, grimey beats. Saturday 4 July, Concorde 2
The Foreign Beggars
Sunday 5 Irie at Arc Bar A shake up of ragga. 10pm–3am, £5/3 Honey Club Sundelicious. 10pm–3am, £2/1. The Open House We Change the Frequency Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free.
Monday 6 Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free. Honey Club Disco Babe.10.30pm–2.30am,£3/1. Jam Sessions. D’n’B, Dub Step, Electro and House. 10pm–2am, £tbc. Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys.10pm–2.30am,£3/1 Jaime Pettit
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GAY LISTINGS 31
Gay listings Tuesday 30 June to Monday 6 July Tuesday 30 Amsterdam Tuesday Social. Chase away the Monday blues with wine and music. 7pm, free Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity. 12pm, free Charles Street Bar Two’s Company. A double dose of cabaret from Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free. Ghetto Quiz Alicious and Twisted Karaoke. Hosted by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free Revenge Sound As A Pound. A mid-week mash-up throwing out 80s, 90s, 00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. 10.30pm, £1. The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free. The PV at The Jury’s Out Tennis Anyone! – Wimbledon 2009. All the matches shown live. Every day this week. 12pm, free
Wednesday 1 July Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free. Brighton Tavern Wednesday’s Wine Club. 12pm, free. Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and 80s. 10pm, £2.50 Latest Music Bar Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. From 7pm, £10 Legends Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm.11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre In-house Darts League. Nightly and annual prizes. 8pm, £3 Queen’s Arms Pride’s Got Talent – Heat 3. Pitting Brighton’s most talented players against each other. 12pm–1am, free R-Bar Midweek Chill. DJ Li’l Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p rush bar! 12pm, free Revenge London to Brighton. Bringing the upfront house sounds of London Taaan to Brighton with MOS and Housexy resident, Jake Duval. 10.30pm–3am, £4/2 The Basement Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
Thursday 2 Charles Street Bar & Club Mad Cow XXL – My Cow is on Fire. DJs Li’l Alex and LeeRoy spinning funky house across two floors. 8pm–3am, £1 Ghetto HDSM. Hard, dirty sexy music. 10pm, £4/3 Marlborough Bar and Theatre Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-Bar Pre-Girls on Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls On Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes.10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30pm with passes, £4/5 after The Basement Boys Below. 11pm–4am, free
Friday 3 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Ghetto Popstarz. Indie recent and retro with Tommy Turntables.10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girl’s Night. 2 floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes with DJ. Plus unlimited drinks wristbands for £20! 9pm R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls
on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Lollipop Vs Altitude.Top pop tunes from Stewart T plus upstairs find funky vocal house with DJ Alex Baker and guests. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Thank Funk It’s Friday. Funk, disco and retro classics. 12pm. The Zone Gilly B & JJ. 9.30pm, free
Saturday 4 Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. A blend of Gogo boys, feathered girls, HRH Queen Josephine and Li’l Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Queen Jo At The Marly. HRH Queen Josephine joins the Marlborough for a little funky house fabulousness. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Cherry Poppins + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30pm–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open 12pm, free R-Bar Kinky Classics. From 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics.10.30pm–4am, £7/3 The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart remixes from DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Booty Call. Guest DJs The Charity Shop Girls spin some old school vinyl! 8.30pm The Zone Presents... Sally Vate. The international drag artist. 9.30pm, free
Sunday 5 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Roast then karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free Audio Sunday Sundae. Disco tinged classic dance with Kate Wildblood and co. 6pm, £5/3 Hove Rugby Club Pride Dog Show. Celebrating dogs of all shapes and sizes – there’s even a prize for the waggiest tail! 12pm, £2 per class registration/free for spectators – suggested donations to Pride Komedia Bent Double. A consuming brew of comedic delight hosted by Mock The Week’s Zoe Lyons. 7.30pm, £10/8 Legends Sunday Cabaret with Lady Imelda. Then chill out in the bar. 3.15pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Connie Rogers + Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-Bar Sublime Sundays & Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free Revenge Rainbow Beats. Funky house beats with a spanish twist. 10.30pm–4am, £tbc. The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes with new DJ, Ross Alexander. 11pm–4am, free
Monday 6 Amsterdam The Big Quiz. 7pm, £1 per player Charles Street Club Studio 150. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Ghetto Frat Party. Indie, electro and credible pop plus drinking games! 10pm, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. Open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint + Karaoke. 12pm–1am R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. Regular cabaret, a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free The Basement Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
32 DANI | FILMS ON TV
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE Dani on TV
30 JUNE – 6 JULY
She says it how she sees it
Films on TV Top tips for your week of flicks TUESDAY 30
Ugly Betty Channel 4 Wednesdays 10pm gly Betty is back – hurrah – I had started to think it would never return to our screens, what with the writers’ strike delaying its original proposed starting time in October last year. There were also a number of rumours on the TV grape vine that the show would be cancelled all together – but never fear, it looks as if we will get to find out who Betty chooses after all. Henry or Gio? At the very end of the second series, we saw Henry propose to Betty and ask her to move across the country to be with him, while Gio also made his move and invited Betty to Italy for a romantic holiday. The final scene saw Betty packing her suitcase and heading out of the front door. So the second series has a lot of loose ends to tie up – I only hope it doesn’t do that annoying thing of jumping forward in time too much, leaving you feeling like you have missed a few episodes. It seems the world wants Betty to be with Gio, but I have to admit to having preferred Henry the entire time. For anyone who hasn’t seen Ugly Betty, this is what you need to know: Ugly Betty is a series about a girl from Queens who gets a job at a big fancy fashion magazine called Mode. She was offered the job by the owner of the company as he thought that hiring someone who looked like the opposite of a model would stop his son, Daniel, the editor of Mode, from sleeping with his assistant. Daniel hated Betty to start with but throughout the two series, they have become firm friends. It would be hard to describe Ugly Betty completely, because half the time you can’t believe you are so engrossed in such ridiculous story lines, but it works. There must be something to the tale of a boy who turned into a really hot girl, a woman poisoned by her husband‘s mistress, only for it to backfire with the wife killing the mistress instead, a secret sex room, mega wardrobes, stealing sperm from dead fiancés... Sounds like I just described Footballer’s Wives! The key to enjoying Ugly Betty is not to take it too seriously – it is supposed to be a comedy drama after all. I have to say that I was slightly surprised by the fact that it will be screened on Wednesdays and at 10pm – apparently ratings fell quite badly during the second series so they don’t want to put it back in prime time. Let’s enjoy it while it lasts!
The Royal Tenenbaums ★★★✩✩ (2001, BBC1,11.30pm. Dir Wes Anderson) An all-star cast assemble for Wes Anderson’s story of a family of geniuses with a flawed father. Each of the Tenenbaum children is exceptionally talented in their chosen fields, but all have fallen into malaise when their good-for-nothing father returns. Owen Wilson, Ben Stiller, Gwyneth Paltrow, Bill Murray and Gene Hackman star.
WEDNESDAY 1 The Good, the Bad and the Ugly ★★★★★ (1966, Five, 9pm. Dir Sergio Leone) A TV outing for the genre-defining Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western with its iconic theme song. Three gunslinging cowboys are in the hunt for the same buried treasure. Remarkably, they’re not in the mood to share it. With twists and turns aplenty, this is great fun.
Brief Encounter ★★★★★ (1945, Film4, 3.25pm. Dir David Lean) Classic romance of the early post-war variety. Suburban housewife Laura and local GP Alec strike up a friendship in the tea rooms at Milford station, when he helps remove a speck of dust from her eye. They agree to meet again next week, but the more they see of each other, the more the innocent friendship, becomes a romance... but what will the neighbours think?
Pan’s Labyrinth ★★★★✩ (2006, More4, 9pm. Dir Guillermo Del Toro) Highly acclaimed fantasy from Guillermo Del Toro. Set in Post-CivilWar-Spain, Pan’s Labyrinth is told through the eyes of Ofelia as she wonders between reality, where she resides with her ill mother and fascist step-father, and fantasy, where she meets a Faun who believes her to be a princess. With fantastic special effects and excellent direction, it’s no wonder this film racked up a whole host of awards.
Pan’s Labyrinth, Friday 3, 9pm, More4
SATURDAY 4 Space Jam ★★★✩✩
(1996, ITV1, 4.05pm. Dir Joe Pytka) A nasty theme park owner named Mr. Swackhammer wants to capture Bugs Bunny and friends and use them as an amusement in his park. They have one chance to save themselves by beating Swackhammer’s basketball team. Unsurprisingly, Swackhammer cheats and creates a formidable team. Bugs manages to recruit retired Chicago Bulls star Michael Jordan, but will he be able to help save his new 2D friends?
SUNDAY 5 AI: Artificial Intelligence ★★★✩✩ (2001, BBC1, 10.25pm. Dir Steven Speilberg) Speilberg directs this futuristic version of the Pinocchio story. David is a man-made robotic boy who has been created with human emotions. He is loved and then rejected by a human family and he decides to set off on a search for a fairy, so he can become a real boy.
MONDAY 6 Seven ★★★★✩
(1995, Five, 10pm.Dir David Fincher) Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman star in this Seven Deadly Sins themed psychological crime thriller. Freeman and Pitt play two cops at different ends of their careers, working together to stop a smart killer. The case soon takes over both their lives and becomes a little personal. Ralph Miller
tuesday 30 Imagine… David Hockney – A Bigger Picture BBC1, 10.35pm Three years in the making, this documentary follows one of Britain’s best living artists on his return from California. Hockney, now 70, has decided to re-invent his paintings before his time runs out. This moving film shows him working through the seasons in all weathers.
The Inbetweeners Channel 4, 11.10pm The cult hit show about suburban teenagers is back for a new series. The new term begins at Rudge Park comprehensive and the infamous Sociology and Geography field trip to Swanage is coming up. There’s a new girl at the school and Will has taken a particular shine to her. Maybe she’ll sit next to him on the trip!
Flight of the Conchords BBC4, 10.30pm In this week’s instalment from the Kiwi two-man band, the Prime Minister of New Zealand wants to create a ‘New Zealand Town’ between Chinatown and Little Italy, so the boys get ready for their big chance to play the grand opening. However, the PM has has his sights set on someone a little more cool.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Wimbledon 2009
6.00 - 10.30 Children’s television 10.30 Yesterday At Wimbledon 11.30 The Daily Politics 12.00pm Wimbledon 2009 3.25 Martha Speaks 3.35 Raven – The Dragon’s Eye 4.05 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.10 Trapped 5.40 Shaun The Sheep 5.50 Wimbledon 2009
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 9.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.35 3 Minute Wonder: If Not School, Then What? 12.40 Life Begins Again 1.40 FILM: Cottage To Let (1941) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me
6.00 - 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Beeps 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.00 FILM: Bridesmaids (1989) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football: UEFA Under-21s Championship 11.00 Elite League Speedway 1.00pm Football: UEFA Under-21s Championship 2.30 LIVE Women’s International One-Day Cricket 8.00 LIVE: Ringside Special 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 12.30am Ringside Special 2.30 Time Of Our Lives 3.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool
6.00 BBC News At Six . 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Adrian Chiles, Christine Bleakley and guests 7.30 EastEnders Heather faces a life-changing decision. 8.00 Holby City Connie gets a nasty surprise when she tries to warn John about Jayne’s suspicions. 9.00 Waking The Dead Crime series featuring the Cold Case Unit, a Metropolitan Police department set up to reinvestigate old cases with new evidence. A road accident provides a DNA link to a chilling murder committed in Srebrenica during the Balkan War. 10.00 BBC News At Ten The latest national and international news, with reports from BBC correspondents worldwide. 10.25 South East Today The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South of England. 10.35 Imagine... David Hockney – A Bigger Picture See highlights. 11.30 FILM: The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) Starring Angelica Huston, Gene Hackman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller. Offbeat comedy about a successful attorney who returns to the embittered and dysfunctional family he abandoned. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Living With Monkeys 2.15 Country Tracks 3.10 Who’s Watching You? 4.10 BBC News
8.00 Today At Wimbledon John Inverdale and guests look back at the day’s events at Wimbledon. 9.00 7/7: The Conspiracy Files Nearly four years after the 7/7 bombings, England’s worst terrorist atrocity, The Conspiracy Files investigates the conspiracy theories flourishing on the internet. There have been three official reports into the bombings on 7 July 2005, which claimed the lives of 56 people and injured 784 others. 10.00 Gregg Wallace’s Recession Bites In the fourth programme of the series, MasterChef’s Gregg Wallace examines the effect of the recession on the British food economy. It is the UK’s second biggest spend and the downturn is affecting not only how much we fork out on food, but also what we are putting in our shopping baskets. Gregg looks at these shifting trends in our shopping habits and how we are dictating what the shops sell to us. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 BBC Samuel Johnson Prize For Non-Fiction Coverage of the literary awards, presented by Mishal Husain. 12.10am On Thin Ice James Cracknell and Ben Fogle attempt to race to the South Pole. 1.10 BBC News 4.00 Italianissimo
6.00 Meridian Tonight All the latest news, sport and breaking stories from across the region. 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lexi collapses at the factory. A troubled Diane realises the extent of Andy’s illness. Paddy lines up a surprise of his own for his birthday party. 8.00 The World’s Best Diet Conclusion of the two-part special. Four overweight celebs are adopting the diets of other cultures which have bucked the UK obesity trend to see who will lose the most weight and emerge the healthiest. Today actress Linda Robson and columnist Carole Malone head to Japan and LA to try out alternative ways of eating. 9.00 Ladette To Lady.Series about the transformation of a group of boisterous Australian women into well-mannered ladies. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.35 Hollywood Lives: Scandal And Gossip Scandal and gossip can be both a blessing and a curse to LA residents. 11.05 Supernatural US drama series about two brothers who investigate paranormal happenings. 12.05am Isle Of Wight Festival 2009: Highlights. 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott. 1.45 Loose Women. 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons Homer pursues a career as an artist when his misshapen barbecue attracts the attention of a gallery. With the guest voices of Isabella Rossellini and Jasper Johns. 6.30 Hollyoaks. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Art Against The Odds Short film series going behind the scenes at the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition. 8.00 Property Snakes And Ladders Sarah Beeny looks at how first-time developers might succeed as house prices plummet amidst the biggest property slump in living memory. 9.00 Dispatches: Terror In Mumbai Dan Reed’s documentary detailing the 2008 terrorist attack in Mumbai with new footage, evidence and interviews.The film features footage of the attacks and testimonies from senior police officers and hostages recounting their harrowing ordeals and dramatic escapes 10.00 Big Brother 11.10 The Inbetweeners See highlights 11.40 Rude Tube Matt Kirshen celebrates the funniest and most notorious internet videos. 12.10am Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 1.15 Big Brother 4.00 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 4.25 Gillette World Sport
6.00 Home And Away Tony saves Angelo’s life. Can Rachel forgive Tony? Martha and Hugo give in to temptation. 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Colchester Zoo presented by Konnie Huq. The keepers face an emergency when a rare cat has a seizure; it is training day for some snappy crocodiles; and Colchester’s cheetahs get to play with a highly unusual ball of wool. 7.00 Five News At 7 . 7.30 Vets In Action Documentary series following four teams of country vets. 8.00 Monster Moves Documentary series following professionals who transport huge buildings and machines to different locations.. 9.00 CSI: Miami New series of the crime drama. The CSIs race to discover who shot Horatio... 10.00 CSI: NY New York-based spin-off of the crime drama series. The CSIs embark on a citywide hunt for a violent bank robber. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation American drama series centring on a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. 12.00am Most Evil Forensic crime series that gets into the mind of the most deadly criminals. 1.00 IndyCar 2.00 V8 Supercars 2.50 Cricket 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Elite League Speedway 9.00 Bowls (x2) 11.00 World Cup Of Poker 12.00pm International Women’s Cricket 1.30 Golf 2.30 Elite League Speedway 4.30 Football: UEFA Under21s Championship 6.00 Sports Unlimited 7.00 Football Asia 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 LIVE: International Women’s Cricket 10.00 Poker 11.30 NFL - Total Access 12.30am Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.30 Poker 3.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.00am World Hockey Monthly 7.30 International Women’s Cricket 9.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 10.00 Golf 11.00 The Irish Golfer 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 World Cup Of Poker 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Bowls (x2) 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Formula 3 Euroseries 7.30 LIVE: Greyhound Racing 10.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 11.00 Sports Unlimited 12.00am Bowls (x2) 2.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Close
12.00pm The Biggest Loser 1.00 Project Catwalk 2.00 Lost 3.00 Bones 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 The Lion Man (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 House 10.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop III (1993) 12.05am Road Wars (x2) 2.00 Street Wars 2.55 Stargate SG-1 (x2)
7.00pm Glastonbury: Franz Ferdinand 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 Personal Affairs 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Bizarre ER 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Personal Affairs 12.45am Make My Body Younger 1.45 Bizarre ER 2.15 The Real Hustle On Holiday 2.45 Claire Richards: My Big Fat Wedding
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Yellowstone 8.30 The Pre-Raphaelites: Victorian Revolutionaries 9.00 TV’s Believe It Or Not 10.00 The Chaser’s War On Everything 10.30 Flight Of The Conchords. See highlights 10.55 Wallander 12.35am The PreRaphaelites: Victorian Revolutionaries (x3)
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 I’m A Celebrity... USA ‘09 8.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 9.00 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 11.00 FILM: Unbreakable (2000) 1.10am I’m A Celebrity... USA ‘09
12.10pm Goodnight Sweetheart 12.50 Heartbeat 1.50 Upstairs, Downstairs 2.55 Wycliffe 3.55 PD James: Devices And Desires 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.20 Rising Damp 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Sharpe’s Challenge (x2) 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot
1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.05 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 9.55 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.50 Big Brother: Live
3.00pm A Place In The Sun 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Pig Business 11.40 Come Dine With Me 12.45am True Stories: Pig Business
11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45pm The Fix 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 7.00 10 Years Younger US (x2) 8.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 1.00am Charmed
3.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How Does That Work? 9.00 Oil Strike! 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 World’s Lost Tribes 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 2.00 Solved 3.00 Oil Strike!
12.00pm The Invisible Man 1.00 Haunted Homes (x2) 3.00 FILM: Storm Seekers (2008) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Knight Rider (x3)9.00 Dollhouse 10.00 FILM: John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998) 12.00am FILM: Godsend (2004) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Medium 4.00 Flash Gordon 5.00 Quantum Leap
9.30am The Conqueror (1956) 11.30 Louisiana Purchase (1941) 1.15pm Too Late The Hero (1970) 3.30 Lover Come Back (1961) 5.30 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 7.30 The Black Swan (1942) 9.00 The Conqueror (1956) 11.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 1.15am Too Late The Hero (1970)
10.45am Clubland (2007) 12.35pm Tumbleweeds (1999) 2.20 The Commitments (1991) 4.20 Factory Girl (2006) 6.05 The Good German (2005) 8.05 The Walker (2007) 10.00 Eastern Promises (2007) 11.45 The Commitments (1991) 1.45am Bringing Out The Dead (1999)
11.00am From Hell To Texas (1958) 12.55pm Dragonwyck (1946) 3.00 Destination Gobi (1953) 5.00 Barefoot In The Park (1967) 7.05 Volcano (1997) 9.00 Road To Perdition (2002) 11.15 Once Upon A Time In America (1984) 3.40am Close
9.45am Anchors Aweigh (1945) 12.25pm The Screening Room 1.00 She’s Back On Broadway (1953) 3.00 Jailhouse Rock (1957) 4.50 Rebel Without A Cause (1955) 6.55 Bullitt (1968) 9.00 Soapdish (1991) 10.55 Looker (1981) 12.50am Soapdish (1991) 2.55 Spencer’s Mountain (1963)
4.20pm The Brittas Empire 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Dinnerladies 7.40 Porridge 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.00 Little Britain USA 10.35 Little Britain 11.15 Only Fools And Horses 12.20am Steptoe And Son 1.00 Little Britain USA 1.35 Little Britain
4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 South Park 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2) 1.40 Scrubs (x3)
wednesday 1 James May At the Edge Of Space BBC2, 10pm Space seems such a broad term that to get to the ‘edge’ of it has gotta be some big metaphorical emotional purge. Nope. Apparently if you go up in a U2 spy plane you’re just the Earth side of space. Who’d’ve thunk? James May apparently, as he goes through loads of training.
Skins Channel 4, 11pm It’s the third series, which means it’s a new class with only the lovely Effy hanging on from the previous bunch, moving up in the world from ‘little sis’ to ‘Queen bee’. Quite a promotion. Heading up the boys is Cook, another dangerously good looking and sailing too close to the wind teen. Teens were never really this cool.
Family Guy BBC3, 11.25pm & 11.50pm Some call it late night Simpsons, others just giggle and a few plain don’t like it but this next step in dysfunctional animated families has a well earned place in the schedules. Tonight Lois encourages Peter to drink more, as he’s a whiz on the piano when drunk, and Peter tries to get Chris to be more responsible.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Wimbledon 2009
6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Stake Out 8.00 Mortified 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.05 Poetry Pie 9.10 LazyTown Extra 9.25 Mister Maker 9.45 Harry And Toto 9.55 Tellytales 10.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 10.30 Yesterday At Wimbledon 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm Wimbledon 2009 3.25 Martha Speaks 3.35 Raven - The Dragon’s Eye 4.05 Paradise Cafe 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.10 Trapped 5.40 Shaun The Sheep 5.50 Wimbledon 2009 8.00 Today At Wimbledon John Inverdale and guests look back at the day’s events at Wimbledon. You can get there’ll bea couple of surprise straight sets – rather like at Pride. 9.00 NASA: Triumph And Tragedy Documentary series offering audiences a unique chance to glimpse an astronaut’s view of spaceflight. The white-knuckle suspense thriller of Apollo 13’s famous near-disaster was a triumphant prelude to darker moments ahead. The public’s indifference to routine launches lead to new challenges, but the human cost of the Challenger disaster and, 17 years later, the disintegration of Columbia marked the beginning of the end for the shuttle. 10.00 James May At The Edge Of Space See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series about drug dealers in West Baltimore and the police investigating them. McNulty sees another side to Stringer Bell. Maybe Stringer’ll see another side to McNulty too and they’ll all be friends and forget all about this drugs malarkey. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Italianissimo 5.00 Italy Inside Out 1-2
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 9.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Begins Again 1.30 FILM: Crash Dive (1943) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.37 Little Lodgers 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Beeps 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Back To You And Me (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Annie is shocked to discover her kissing scenes in Jai’s film. My goodness, I do declare you most ingentlemanly! 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Colchester Zoo. An army of keepers is required to vaccinate an entire section of the zoo, but it will not be an easy task - weighing in at 12 stone, Merlin the Rocky Mountain goat will do all he can to avoid the needle. Like most of us. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Mean Machines Documentary showing technologically advanced and historically important machines. 8.00 The Da Vinci Shroud – Revealed Historical documentary series. For centuries, the Turin shroud was believed to be the cloth that was placed on the body of Christ, until carbon-dating exposed it as a medieval fake in 1988. However, scientists continue to explore how the image of a man was scorched onto the fabric. 9.00 FILM: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (1966) Starring Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, Lee Van Cleef. Classic spaghetti western that paints a bitterly cynical portrait of America during the Civil War. 12.35am PartyPoker.com European Open V The PartyPoker.com 2.10 NHRA Drag Racing(x2) 4.45 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 10.30 LIVE Cricket (x2) 6.00 Total Rugby 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 LIVE: Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 European Tour Weekly
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Real Rescues Nick Knowles presents the dramatic birth of premature twins after a young woman goes into labour at home. 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef The six best celebrity cooks remain, but at the end of the day two will be sent home for good. They must cook a two-course meal for 30 schoolchildren. Obviously the most discenring of food conneusseurs. Food fight! 9.00 Waking The Dead Crime series featuring the Cold Case Unit. Boyd and the team uncover a link between a tragic war crime and a massive drugs deal. When a butterfly flaps its wings... it does a Nazi drug deal? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Will it make you happier or just more comfortably unhappy? 10.45 FILM: The World’s Fastest Indian (2005) Starring Anthony Hopkins. A health scare prompts eccentric New Zealander Burt Monro to finally pursue the dream of riding his treasured Indian Scout motorcycle on the salt flats of Utah. 12.40am Weatherview 12.45 Sign Zone: Springwatch Holidays 1.45 Famous, Rich And Homeless 2.45 Celebrity MasterChef 3.45 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron causes havoc at Paddy’s 40th birthday bash. He’s 40 and he still looks like his mother dresses him! 7.30 Coronation Street Rosie’s investment is greeted with horror at Underworld. Walk out is the only option now obviously. Either that or gag the shrieking lady boss. 8.00 The Bill Smithy and his officers break up a fight outside a bar and discover Andy Brennan badly beaten up. In a separate incident, Sergeant Stone investigates a break-in at the house of Oliver Robinson, whose valuable watch has been stolen. Except it’s not separate, it’s connected in a holistic Sun Hill ‘you’re nicked!’ kinda way. 9.00 Cops With Cameras Life on the front line with police forces. Not amateur cop lens championships. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Tears, Lies & Videotape Programme looking at the behaviour of some notorious criminal liars, including Shannon Matthews’ mother Karen, Gordon Wardell, Tracie Andrews, Ian Huntley and Fadi Nasri. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Action Stations 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The camping party turns sour as jealousies start to tear the group of teens apart. Lauren’s doing a spot of flirting to try and get Newt jealous. Does that girl know how to look up ‘obsessive’ in the dictionary? Restraining order, Newt! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Back To The Clinic A look back at some past patients at the Embarrassing Bodies clinic, including a young mother who suffered internal injuries during childbirth, a man with a phobia of public toilets, and a former psoriasis sufferer whose body was covered in painful sores. Ow! Plus, how to examine your testicles and breasts. Mainly one or the other if they’re your own. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Ugly Betty Drama series about an ordinary-looking secretary working for a fashion magazine. Wilhelmina tries to poach Betty as her assistant. Daniel faces a custody battle to keep Daniel Jr in the US. Christina grows suspicious of Stuart’s motives. 11.00 Skins See highlights. 12.00am 4 Music: Gaymers Grassroots Gigs 12.15 Dirty Sexy Money 1.10 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 Revelations: How To Find God 5.20 Countdown
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 9.00 Ringside Special 11.00 Poker 12.30pm Ringside Special 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Poker 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 World Tenpin Masters 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 British Motocross Championship 8.00 Cricket 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Cricket 2.00 Poker 3.30 Time Of Our Lives 4.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.30am Mountain Bike World 9.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 10.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Mountain Bike World 3.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 4.00 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Powerboat P1 2009 7.00 Showjumping 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Powerboat P1 2009 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 World Tenpin Masters 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 Showjumping 2.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 4.00 British Motocross Championship 5.00 Close
1.00pm Project Catwalk 2.00 Lost 3.00 Bones 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 The Lion Man (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 Martina Cole’s The Take 10.00 Ross Kemp: A Kenya Special 11.30 UK Border Force 12.30am Miami SWAT
7.00pm Glastonbury: Lady Gaga 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 FILM: Superman Returns (2006) 11.25 Family Guy (x2) . See highlights. 12.15am Little Britain 12.45 The Real Hustle On Holiday 1.15 Bizarre ER 1.45 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways 2.40 When Diets Go Wrong 3.40 Bizarre ER
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The PreRaphaelites: Victorian Revolutionaries 8.00 Legends: Roy Orbison – The ‘Big O’ In Britain 9.00 Summits 10.30 FILM: Climates (2006) 12.10am Legends: Roy Orbison - The ‘Big O’ In Britain 1.10 Batman (x2) 2.00 Mad Men (x2)
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 I’m A Celebrity... USA ‘09: The Finale 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: Unbreakable (2000) 11.10 Coronation Street 11.40 FILM: Thirteen (2003) 1.45am I’m A Celebrity... USA ‘09: The Finale
2.00pm Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Wycliffe 4.10 PD James: Devices And Desires 5.20 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 On The Buses 7.25 Carry On Laughing 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 10.55 FILM: The Gathering Storm (2002) 12.55am Dempsey And Makepeace
3.10pm Desperate Housewives 4.00 The Hills 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Van Wilder (2002) 10.50 Russell Brand Doing Life 2007 11.50 A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila 12.50am Big Brother: Live
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Henry VIII: Mind Of A Tyrant 11.05 Dispatches: Terror In Mumbai 12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 1.10 Time Team
1.45pm The Fix 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 7.00 Grey’s Anatomy: Finale (x2) 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x3) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Blood Ties 3.00 Cheerleader Nation 3.50 Downsize Me!
2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How Does That Work? 9.00 20th Anniversary: Viewers’ Top Five 11.00 Whale Wars 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA (x2)
12.00pm The Invisible Man 1.00 Haunted Homes (x2) 3.00 FILM: Killer Flood (2003) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Knight Rider (x2) 8.00 FILM: Dungeons And Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 10.00 FILM: Odysseus And The Isle Of Mists (2007) 11.50 FILM: Mimic: Sentinel (2003) 1.30am 3rd Rock From The Sun (X3)
11.10am Park Row (1952) 12.40pm The House On 92nd Street (1945) 2.20 Father Goose (1964) 4.20 A Tree Grows In Brooklyn (1945) 6.30 Sweet Charity (1969) 9.00 The Producers (1968) 10.30 A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) 12.35am Touch Of Evil (1958)
12.45pm The Lives Of Others (2006) 3.10 Be Kind Rewind (2008) 5.00 Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 7.10 The Lives Of Others (2006) 9.30 The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007) 12.10am Be Kind Rewind (2008) 1.55 Hana-Bi (1997)
11.00am Footsteps In The Fog (1955) 12.45pm The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 2.55 Heaven Can Wait (1943) 5.05 The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997) 7.00 Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 9.00 The Italian Job (2003) 11.05 Sexy Beast (2000) 12.50am Winter Light (1962) 2.35 Close
1.00pm On The Town (1949) 3.00 The Old Man And The Sea (1958) 4.40 The Madwoman Of Chaillot (1969) 7.10 This Woman Is Dangerous (1952) 9.00 Overnight Delivery (1996) 10.55 Possession (2002) 1.00am Overnight Delivery (1996) 2.45 Possession (2002) 4.30 The Screening Room
4.20pm The Brittas Empire 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Dinnerladies 7.35 Porridge 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.00 Little Britain USA 10.35 Little Britain 11.15 Only Fools And Horses 12.20am Steptoe And Son 1.00 Little Britain USA 1.35 Little Britain 2.10 The New Statesman (x2)
4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 The Office: An American Workplace 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)
thursday 2 Celebrity MasterChef BBC1, 8pm There are only four semi-finalists left – ooh, the pressure’s on! Who will burn their hollandaise? Who thinks a sieve will do when really they need a colander? Who can light a gas oven with matches instead of that clicky thing you can get in pound stores? To find out they’re off to fine tune their skills before facing the judges.
Psychoville BBC2, 10pm Ever wondered how those mixed up kids in dark comedy land Psychoville ended up the way they are? Us too. Helpfully this episode reveals the story of how Mr Jelly, the one-handed children’s entertainer, came to his current sticky end. Plus David and his Mum dispatch their next victim. Family bonding, eh?
The Secret Life Of The Airport BBC4, 10pm The last part in this series about Britain’s airports, giving us freedom of travel and a little bit of a scare too. Speaking of which, tonight focuses on security, from the free and accessible airports of the 60s to sans shoes boarding of the present day. Using archive and eye-witness accounts.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Wimbledon 2009
6.00 – 8.40am Children’s television 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.05 Poetry Pie 9.10 LazyTown Extra 9.25 Mister Maker 9.45 Harry And Toto 9.55 Tellytales 10.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 10.30 Yesterday At Wimbledon 11.30 The Daily Politics 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Wimbledon 2009 3.25 Martha Speaks 3.35 Raven - The Dragon’s Eye 4.05 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 4.35 Horrible Histories 5.05 Newsround 5.10 Trapped 5.40 Shaun The Sheep 5.50 Wimbledon 2009 8.00 Today At Wimbledon John Inverdale and guests look back at the day’s events at Wimbledon. Any tantrums on Centre Court? And does that new roof thingy really work? 9.00 Krod Mandoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire Fantasy comedy series. Krod is dispatched by Ralph’s warlock, Grimshank, to light a beacon that will alert resistance leaders everywhere that Dongalor is on the verge of activating the Eye. 9.30 That Mitchell And Webb Look Comedy sketch show starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb. The secret of the universe is revealed in a melon; a butler discovers he’s had a thirty year misunderstanding with his employer; and a soothsayer in ancient Pompeii wonders if the smell of sulphur in the air means everyone ought to do a bit more recycling. 10.00 Psychoville See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series about drug dealers in West Baltimore and the police investigating them. Stringer Bell gets a lesson in construction management. Bunk delivers a message to Omar. Colvin unleashes the troops on the corner boys ignoring his new edict. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Italy Inside Out 3-5 5.30 Eurografters: Italy
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase
6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Rescue Remedies 12.40 My Place In The Sun 1.10 FILM: Witness For The Prosecution (1957) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Beeps 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.00 FILM: Columbo: Rest In Peace, Mrs Columbo (1990) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Trans World Sport 10.25 Total Rugby 10.55 LIVE Cricket (x2) 6.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE: Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 1.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Edna is incensed about Pollard’s plans for the factory. Proper cross, that is! 7.30 Countrywise Paul Heiney and the team continue their summer journey across Britain. 8.00 The Bill Following the fire at the bar, it becomes apparent that bar owner Jason Devlin has many enemies. He and his father are slum landlords, forgers and drug dealers. How to make friends and influence people, eh? 9.00 Trial And Retribution When well-known paediatric surgeon Jonathan Carlisle is found dead, DCI Connor uncovers conflicts stirred by a recent operation that resulted in a young girl’s death. Emotions running high and all that. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Trial And Retribution Concluding bit. 11.35 FILM: Red Rock West (1992) Starring Nicolas Cage, Lara Boyle, Dennis Hopper. Taut thriller in which penniless former marine Michael arrives in the remote town of Red Rock and is mistaken for a hit man by the local bartender. 1.15am British Superbike Championship Highlights 2.10 Motorsport UK 3.00 Supernatural 3.45 Loose Women 4.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The girls wake up feeling rough from the night before, especially Hannah who can barely remember a thing. Trouble ahoy. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Art Against The Odds 8.00 The Home Show Architect George Clarke helps homeowners with different budgets fall back in love with their houses. George comes to the rescue of a family who have spent 19 years unsuccessfully extending their house. It’s moved an inch? Not muych extension. 9.00 Gerry’s Big Decision Entrepreneur Sir Gerry Robinson provides failing businesses with a financial lifeline. In the opening episode of this new series, two couples compete to save their brewery businesses. A sample of two might help in this direction. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house. 11.10 The TNT Show Jack Whitehall and the lovely Holly Walsh present a weekly late-night entertainment show, taking an irreverent look at the week’s events. 11.45 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat Psychological illusionist. 12.20am Dubplate 1.20 Big Brother: Live 3.55 Bob And Margaret 4.20 Dispatches: Terror In Mumbai 5.15 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Trey records his bedroom antics with Nicole. Hm. 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Colchester Zoo presented by Konnie Huq. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 RSPCA: On The Frontline Documentary series following a group of newly qualified RSPCA inspectors as they start work on the front line of animal welfare. Nic is called to deal with a nest of snakes in a shed. 8.00 Megastructures Gripping documentary series that explores huge engineering projects from all over the world. Demolition time for an old Vegas casino. The tales it could tell. 9.00 The Mentalist Drama series. The murder of a socialite leads the agents to a women-only country club where all the board members seem to have something to hide. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. A quadruple homicide with sexual overtones kick-starts an intense rampage of killings. As opposed to a chilled out rampage? 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. A promising chef mysteriously disappears following the murder of a restaurant critic. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NFL Classics 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 British Motocross Championship 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 European Tour Weekly 9.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Total Rugby 1.30 British Motocross Championship 2.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.30 Total Rugby 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.00 Race World 8.00 Cricket 10.00 LIVE: Sky Poker Five-OO 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Cricket 3.00 Time Of Our Lives 4.00 Close
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Minty worries that Manda doesn’t find him attractive – but is she hiding something more sinister? That she does find him attactive? Sinister biscuits. 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef See highlights. 9.00 The Best Job In The World Documentary following the marketing campaign for an Australian State, which asked for potential caretakers for a Barrier Reef island, paying £70 thousand for six months work, and a luxury villa. It launched in the depths of credit-crunch January, caught the world’s imagination and 35,000 people applied from across the globe with brilliantly funny and original one minute videos to sell themselves. Don’t you wish you had Speilberg editing your application? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time The panel includes the Deputy Labour Leader Harriet Harman, former Tory Leader Iain Duncan Smith, former Liberal Democrat Leader Charles Kennedy, and the musician Jarvis Cocker. 11.35 This Week A political review. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.55 Celebrity MasterChef 2.55 BBC News
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Powerboat P1 2009 7.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Mountain Bike World 6.30 Trans World Sport 7.30 LIVE: National Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Golf Night 2.30 Close
extraterrestrial Sky One
12.00pm The Biggest Loser 1.00 Project Catwalk 2.00 Lost 3.00 Bones 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 The Lion Man (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 The Real A & E 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Bones 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 The Villa
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 9.00 Can I Get High Legally? 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle On Holiday 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Can I Get High Legally? 12.50am Personal Affairs 1.50 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 2.50 The Real Hustle On Holiday
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 In Search Of England’s Green And Pleasant Land 8.00 Hidden Histories 8.30 The Sky At Night 9.00 Crude Britannia: The Story Of North Sea Oil 10.00 The Secret Life Of The Airport. See highlights. 11.00 The High Life 11.30 Meet The British 12.30am Crude Britannia (x3)
2.35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 America’s Got Talent 9.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 10.00 FILM: Notting Hill (1999) 12.35am FILM: Armed And Dangerous (1986)
2.35pm Wycliffe 3.40 PD James: Devices And Desires 4.55 Monarch Of The Glen 6.00 Heartbeat 7.00 On The Buses 7.30 Carry On Laughing 8.00 Ladies Of Letters 8.30 Rising Damp 9.00 Billy Connolly: Journey To The Edge Of The World 10.00 The Forsyte Saga 11.40 Numb3rs 12.35am Dempsey And Makepeace
3.00pm Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Reaper 9.55 The Big Bang Theory 10.25 Plus One 11.00 The Kevin Bishop Show 11.30 Fonejacker 12.00am Big Brother: Live
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.40 Without A Trace 11.40 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.20am Without A Trace
1.45pm The Fix 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 7.00 Grey’s Anatomy 8.00 Private Practice (x2) 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x3) 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 In Bed With Yvette And Karl 3.00 Cheerleader Nation 3.50 Downsize Me!
2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How Does That Work? 9.00 Extreme Loggers 10.00 Deadliest Catch 11.00 Whale Wars 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA (x2)
12.00pm The Invisible Man 1.00 Haunted Homes (x2) 3.00 FILM: Cheating Fate (2007) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Knight Rider (x2) 8.00 TBA 9.00 My Own Worst Enemy 10.00 Dollhouse 11.00 Knight Rider 12.00am FILM: Abominable (2006) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Medium 4.00 Quantum Leap
11.05am Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 12.45pm Hondo (1953) 2.15 A Medal For Benny (1945) 3.40 The War Lord (1965) 5.45 Boomerang (1947) 7.15 Seven Thieves (1960) 9.00 Hondo (1953) 10.30 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 12.10am Scream And Scream Again (1970)
10.50am The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 12.50pm Waitress (2007) 2.40 Tube Tales (1999) 4.20 The Kite Runner (2007) 6.30 Waitress (2007) 8.20 Year Of The Dog (2007) 10.00 Cradle Will Rock (1999) 12.20am Happiness (1999) 2.45 Year One: 35mm Special 3.05 Cradle Will Rock (1999)
11.00am Mirror (1976) 1.05pm Gentleman’s Agreement (1947) 3.25 Brief Encounter (1945) 5.05 The Frogmen (1951) 7.10 Clueless (1995) 9.00 Collateral (2004) 11.15 Black Rain (1989) 1.40am Miller’s Crossing (1990) 4.00 Close
9.30am On The Town (1949) 11.25 The Old Man And The Sea (1958) 1.00pm You’re A Big Boy Now (1966) 3.00 Auntie Mame (1958) 5.50 Mark Of The Vampire (1935) 7.05 Elvis: That’s The Way It Is () 9.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 11.25 Presumed Innocent (1990) 1.55am Cool Hand Luke (1967)
4.20pm The Brittas Empire 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Porridge 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.00 Little Britain USA 10.35 Little Britain 11.15 Only Fools And Horses 12.20am Steptoe And Son 1.00 Little Britain USA
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.45 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)
friday 3 UR SO V4IN Channel 4, 7.35pm Looking at the phenomenon of personalised number plates, from insults to praise. Who wants to have N1GEL? Many people it would seem. And who likes to get loads of attention for simply driving down the road? Even more folks, is the answer. Curious and rather fun, check out some of the more bizarre ones.
Top Gear BBC2, 9pm So, you’ve got your licence, your dad’s not a mega rich playboy out to buy you your first set of wheels – what’s a 17-year-old to do? Luckily Jezza, Hamster and James May-er are on hand to help with this particular query, factoring in insurance, accidents and festival car parks. Stephen Fry is in the reasonably priced car.
Agatha Christie’s Poirot ITV3, 8pm Isn’t it annoying when you have to take your work home? Poor old Hercule, there’s only gone and been a murder in his own very nice Art Deco block of flats. Is there no safe neighbourhood? Apparently not as the wax moustache goes on the trail of boisterous neighbours and strange noises in the night.
Sky Sports 1
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.05 Poetry Pie 9.10 LazyTown Extra 9.25 Mister Maker 9.45 Harry And Toto 9.55 Tellytales 10.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 10.30 Yesterday At Wimbledon 11.30 The Daily Politics 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Wimbledon 2009 3.25 Martha Speaks 3.35 Raven – The Dragon’s Eye 4.05 Animals At Work 4.35 Trapped 5.05 Newsround 5.10 The Slammer 5.40 Shaun The Sheep 5.50 Wimbledon 2009 8.00 Today At Wimbledon John Inverdale and guests look back at the day’s events at Wimbledon. We’re getting near the final, we’re getting near the final! Shout at telly time! 9.00 Top Gear See highlights. 10.00 Horne And Corden Mathew Horne and James Corden host and star in their own comedy sketch show. James is over-excited about the fact that he and Matt have their own show, with disastrous results. We meet Xander, the old boarding school chum from hell; see Tim Goodall, the gayest news reporter ever; watch James’s valiant attempts to win a world championship relay race; and see Ricky Gervais’s very special turn in the latest Karate Kid film. Love it or hate it, really. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme with Kirsty Wark. 11.35 Stevie Wonder: Live At Last Recorded during a two-night residency at the O2 Arena in London, Live at Last represents a rare opportunity to experience all the energy of a Stevie Wonder concert. An electrifying journey into Wonder’s long and successful career. Woo your lovely other with the fab muso. 12.35am Medium 1.15 The Wire (x3)
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.15 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.45 Big Brother 8.55 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Postmodern Pastimes 12.45 Life Begins Again 1.45 FILM: The Black Swan (1942) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 7.15am Children’s television 7.15 Little Princess 7.27 Sailor Sid 7.30 The Mr. Men Show 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Beeps 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Always And Forever (2008) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Geoff struggles with the onset of fatherhood. Trickier than The Rock. 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Colchester Zoo presented by Konnie Huq. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Top Trumps: Rescue Rigs Robert Llewellyn and Ashley Hames test their knowledge of extreme machines. The intrepid duo turn their attention to two mighty rescue rigs. 8.00 Air Force Afghanistan Documentary series chronicling life for the British servicemen and women stationed at Kandahar air base in southern Afghanistan. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. When a marine colonel dies in an explosion at a Navy golf course, the team must collaborate with the Army Criminal Investigative Unit to investigate what is a potential terrorist attack. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. Logan and Wheeler probe the murder of a record producer. Suspicion falls on a bouncer at a club until an aspiring singer and her husband enter the frame. 11.00 Criminal Minds Drama series following the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit. The team chases a serial killer who has altered his appearance in order to evade capture. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 National Rugby League 11.00 LIVE Cricket (x2) 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 Volvo Ocean Race 7.30 LIVE: Super League 10.00 TBA 12.00am Time Of Our Lives 1.00 Super League 3.00 TBA 5.00 Volvo Ocean Race 5.30 Gillette World Sport
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Air Medics A look at the work of the Great North Air Ambulance, as they are tested to the limit. 8.00 EastEnders Minty makes a devastating discovery in the Arches, while Roxy hits Jack with some brutal home truths. Can they be made of brass and candlestick-shaped? We miss Cluedo. 8.30 Celebrity MasterChef The four semi-finalists must cook their best two course meal to impress three of the country’s most respected food critics.Only three will continue. 9.00 Hotel Babylon Gino gets duped by a dangerous con man staying at the hotel and Tony is tasked to look after a fading film star. Who? Who? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan Ross is joined by Sandra Bullock, Harry Potter star Emma Watson and actress Liz Smith. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw One way to beat current financial trends. 11.40 FILM: It’s All Gone Pete Tong (2004) Starring Paul Kaye. British comedy. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Mary Queen Of Charity Shops 2.15 Springwatch 3.15 Celebrity MasterChef 3.45 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A nervous Gennie goes on her first internet date. Please let it be with Tron. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony unwittingly becomes Maria’s hero. 8.00 Airline Docusoap. Today staff deal with disgruntled ex-footballer Ian Wright. Ex-footballers aren’t just crisp-loving scamps after all. 8.30 Coronation Street Tony is stunned by Maria’s latest decision. To hit him on the head with a candlestick? Getting a tad obsessed with Cluedo. Soz. 9.00 Doc Martin Martin and Louisa go out on their first date and she seizes the opportunity for a romantic kiss, but the clumsy doctor manages to ruin the moment. Louisa’s friend’s condition takes a turn for the worse when she has an allergic reaction to morphine, and Martin has to act quickly to save her life. Hero time. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Magnum Force (1973) Starring Clint Eastwood, Hal Holbrook. The second action thriller in the Dirty Harry series sees maverick cop Harry Callahan investigating the slaying of some of the West Coast’s most powerful criminals. 12.50am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 FILM: Fiddler On The Roof (1971) 4.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The day of Warren’s funeral arrives. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 UR S0 V4IN See highlights. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA Paula and Julian Carter choose between Florida’s Sarasota and Poole. Tough one. 9.00 Big Brother Davina announces the results of the fourth eviction vote live into the BB house. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours. Last minute romance to try and get enough public interest to stay in the house? 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford, with guests including David Walliams and Reginald D Hunter – the walrus of comedy. 10.35 Big Brother The fourth housemate to be evicted from the Big Brother house returns to the outside world and is interviewed by Davina McCall about their time inside. 11.05 The Simpsons 11.35 Russell Brand’s Ponderland The foppish comedian delivers his thoughts on the world around him. 12.10am 4 Music: JD Set Presents: Hatcham 12.25 4Play: Dan Black 12.45 Pokerstars.com 1.35 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Freesports On 4 4.25 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour 5.15 Grudge Match 5.25 Countdown
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.30pm Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 2.30 Live European Tour Golf 5.30 NFL – Total Access 6.30 LIVE Darts: Las Vegas Classic 12.30am NFL - Total Access 1.30 Golf Night 3.30 Gillette World Sport 4.00 Super League
Sky Sports 3 7.00am Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Ocean Adventures 12.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 1.00 Race World 1.55 Ocean Adventures 2.25 LIVE International Cricket 6.30 LIVE: International Cricket 10.30 WWE Smackdown 12.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 Time Of Our Lives 2.30 Cricket 4.30 Tight Lines 5.30 Barclays Premier League World
extraterrestrial Sky One
1.00pm UK Border Force 2.00 Lost 3.00 Bones 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 The Lion Man (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Martina Cole’s The Take 11.00 Martina Cole: Girls In Gangs London 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.10 Total Wipeout 9.00 Tourettes: I Swear I Can’t Help It 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints: Fags, Lads And Kebabs 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.20 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 1.20 Being Human 2.15 Tourettes: I Swear I Can’t Help It 3.15 Two Pints: Fags, Lads And Kebabs 4.15 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Summer-night Concert From Vienna 9.00 Glastonbury: 2009 Sessions 10.00 Sight And Sound In Concert 10.35 More Guitar Heroes At The BBC 11.35 Flight Of The Conchords 12.00am The Chaser’s War On Everything 12.30 More Guitar Heroes At The BBC 1.30 Meet The British
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 New Homes From Hell 2009 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am FILM: Armed And Dangerous (1986)
12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.00 Wycliffe 4.05 PD James: Devices And Desires 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 On The Buses 7.25 Carry On Laughing 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot. See highlights. 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: The Killing Fields (1984) 1.00am Cadfael
1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.05 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.05am Big Brother: Live
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) 11.15 Eddie Izzard: Dress To Kill 12.30am FILM: Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 7.00 10 Years Younger US (x2) 8.00 Army Wives 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Criminal Minds
3.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How Does That Work? 9.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 10.00 Showdown: Air Combat 11.00 Whale Wars 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA (x2)
8.00am Teleshopping 11.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Haunted Homes (x3) 3.00 FILM: Descent (2005) 4.50 Thunderbirds (x3) 8.00 Medium 9.00 Heroes (x2) 11.00 FILM: The Ferryman (2007) 1.00am Medium 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x4) 4.00 Quantum Leap 5.00 Quantum Leap
1.15pm How To Steal A Million (1966) 3.20 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 5.05 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 6.50 Samson And Delilah (1949) 9.00 Giant (1956) 12.20am How To Steal A Million (1966) 2.30 Torn Curtain (1966) 4.40 Teacher’s Pet (1958)
10.40am There Will Be Blood (2007) 1.20pm Love Me If You Dare (2003) 3.00 December Boys (2007) 5.00 The Counterfeiters (2007) 6.40 Love Me If You Dare (2003) 8.20 The Escapist (2001) 10.00 There Will Be Blood (2007) 12.40am Plunkett And Macleane (1999)
11.00am The Outcast (1954) 12.55pm The Perfect Murder (1988) 2.45 On Golden Pond (1981) 4.55 The Animal (2001) 6.40 The Way West (1967) 9.00 The Departed (2006) 11.50 Road To Perdition (2002) 2.05am Lights In The Dusk (2006) 3.45 Close
8.00am Auntie Mame (1958) 10.50 Elvis: That’s The Way It Is (1970) 12.50pm Any Wednesday (1966) 3.00 Crossing Delancey (1988) 4.55 The Defector (1966) 7.00 Funny Farm (1988) 9.00 Any Given Sunday (1999) 12.00am Forget Paris (1995) 2.00 Any Given Sunday (1999) 5.00 Any Wednesday (1966)
4.20pm The Brittas Empire 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Porridge 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.00 Little Britain USA (x2) 11.15 Jonathan Creek 12.20am The Likely Lads 12.55 Little Britain USA (x2)
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x3) 11.00 The Sarah Silverman Programme 11.30 Comedy Store (x2) 12.30am The World Stands Up
saturday 4 Total Wipeout BBC1, 7.25pm Adventure playgrounds are allegedly too safe to be fun in this country now. Which could be why the massive obstacle course in this gameshow is all the way over in Argentina. Looking like something you made up when you had that fever and wanted to be Action Man (TM), this is fun and madness from the Hamster.
ER Channel 4, 8.30pm It’s American Independence Day so celebrate by watching the most American show on telly tonight, and it’s also rather good. Gates gets in the messy stuff with Sam when his teaching methods belittle her, and a school fight results in a stabbing and a nose that won’t stop bleeding. The very last series. Everyone – ahh.
Knight Rider Sci Fi, 11.20am Cool. An entire daytime schedule dedicated to Knight Rider. Yes, David Hasselhoff’s ego is obviously warranted. With Devon assigning the man with the new face and the extra special new car assignments, and the pretty lady fixing them up in the back of her massively long truck, we’re set for a day of fab nostalgia.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Yesterday At Wimbledon 7.00 Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Eating In The Sun 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Ready Steady Cook 12.55 Outtake TV 1.25 Wimbledon 2009: Ladies’ Final
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Funky Fables 7.15 Eliot Kid 7.30 Animalia 7.50 Wolverine And The X-Men 8.15 Sportsround 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 9.30 Hotel Trubble 10.00 Transmission Impossible With Ed And Oucho 11.30 Young Dracula 12.00pm Animal Park 12.30 FILM: Exodus (1960) 3.50 FILM: Cat Ballou (1965) 5.25 Flog It!
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.25 Countrywise 10.55 Quincy, ME 11.55 FILM: The Baby And The Battleship (1956) 1.45pm ITV News And Weather 1.50 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity 2.50 Beat The Star 4.05 FILM: Space Jam (1996) 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News And Weather
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 MSA Formula Ford Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Yo Gabba Gabba 9.25 Friends 10.00 Eminem Vs Kanye West: Top 10 11.05 Calvin Harris: Video Exclusive 11.10 Friends 11.45 Ice Age 3: T4 Movie Special 12.20pm Big Brother 1.30 Big Brother 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 The TV Show 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Mio Mao 7.41 The Milky And Shake Show 7.45 Hana’s Helpline 8.00 Olivia 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Zoo Days 10.20 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.55 Fifth Gear 11.55 Axe Men 12.55pm Mean Machines 1.25 FILM: 40 Guns To Apache Pass (1967) 3.15 FILM: The Iron Giant (1999) 4.50 FILM: Little Nikita (1988) 6.35 Five News 6.40 FILM: Blue Thunder (1983) Starring Roy Scheider, Warren Oates, Malcolm McDowell. Fast-moving, airborne action drama in which a pair of LAPD pilots test a state-of-the-art helicopter crammed with sophisticated weaponry, intent on protecting the city from terrorists. Ripe for release to the toy shops. 8.25 NCIS Drama series. A dead marine is discovered at the bottom of a cliff whilst on a camping trip with his wife and best friend, who had been having an affair. Bad folks! 9.25 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The team rallies together when Warrick is shot in an alleyway. Suspicion immediately falls on the police officer who tried to frame the CSI for murder, before evidence emerges that another corrupt cop could be at large. ANOTHER one?! 10.25 Law And Order: SVU Drama series When a teenage girl is raped immediately after a convicted sex offender is released from jail, Stabler goes undercover in order to ascertain whether the man was involved. 11.25 The Real CSI Documentary. 11.55 Quiz Call 4.00am The Gadget Show 4.45 Rough Guide To Journeys 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Super League 8.30 Where Are They Now? 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 LIVE Cricket 1.00pm LIVE International Rugby Union 4.30 LIVE Super League 7.00 LIVE Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.00 Where Are They Now? 11.30 NFL: Total Access 12.30am Where Are They Now? 1.00 LIVE NASCAR 4.30 Where Are They Now? 5.00 Max Power
6.10 BBC News 6.20 South East Today 6.30 Totally Saturday Graham Norton continues to surprise anyone and everyone when he reveals he has their most prized possessions. There is music and mischief from the Saturdays, someone’s sofa could score them a fabulous holiday and a giant hamster may win one lucky caller some cash. Not a dream. 7.25 Total Wipeout See highlights. 8.25 The National Lottery Draws Christopher Biggins hosts the weekend draws. Again, real life. 8.35 Casualty Ruth’s web of lies threatens to unravel; can she stop the deceit before it is too late? Probably not. Otherwise there’s be no drama. 9.25 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow At the Belfast Waterfront Hall Michael McIntyre is joined on stage by Neil Delamere, Jeff Green and Kerry Godliman, before local hero Patrick Kielty headlines. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 FILM: Flightplan (2005) Starring Jodie Foster, Peter Sarsgaard, Erika Christensen. Mystery drama. When a woman’s six-year-old daughter inexplicably vanishes during a transatlantic flight, she struggles to convince the cabin crew that she is telling the truth about the disappearance. 12.05am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.05 Weatherview 1.10 News
6.10 Wimbledon 2009 8.00 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Mainwaring’s motley crew is put in charge of a vital telephone line. They awake to find a bomb enmeshed in the wires. Whoops! 8.30 Timewatch The history series that investigates myths, legends and stories from around the world. Maybe they should animate them and give them silly voices and that way all the kids would learn the old stories as well as the bright sparks tuning in tonight. 9.30 Blood And Guts: A History Of Surgery Documentary series about the brutal, bloody and dangerous history of surgery continues with a look at the development of transplant surgery. These days transplant surgery saves thousands of lives every year and almost everything, from heart to eyes, can be replaced. But in the beginning transplants killed rather than cured, because surgeons didn’t understand that they were taking on one of the most efficient killing systems we know of - the human immune system. 10.30 Today At Wimbledon Today at Wimbledon. Ooh! It’s getting really exciting now. Women’s final results are in. 11.30 Glastonbury 2009 Coverage from the Glastonbury festival. 1.30am FILM: On The Line (2001) Romantic comedy.
6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill introduces more of the nation’s funniest home videos. Today’s clips include a dog sitting on a whoopee cushion and a cat that can stick to brick walls. Too much static? 6.30 Animals Do The Funniest Things Stephen Mulhern dons his safari gear for the trip of a lifetime hoping to find a great white rhino in the wild. He also presents some of the funniest animal stories from around the world. Hmm. 7.30 All Star Mr & Mrs Today GMTV host Andrew Castle and his wife Sophia, actress Angela Griffin and her husband Jason, and Tito Jackson and his partner Sonia battle it out to see who knows the most about their respective other half. 8.30 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Chris Tarrant presents the award-winning quiz show. 9.30 Mumbai Calling Sitcom. Kenny decides he has had enough of India, but to get back to London he needs to turn over a new leaf and sort out the call centre’s accounts. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 FILM: The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005) Starring Johnny Knoxville, Seann William Scott, Jessica Simpson. Comedy based on the 1980s hit TV series. 12.15am Six Degrees 1.15 FILM: The Long Run (2000) 3.05 Tour De France 2009 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 Come Dine With Me Five amateur chefs compete for the title of ultimate dinner party host and, for this special Christmas series, a cash prize of one thousand pounds. (Insert evil laugh here).After tempers flared between Annette and Jane Lloyd during the previous night’s dinner, postman Charlie Balch hopes that his organic meal will fare better. 6.30 Come Dine With Me On the final night of the competition Welsh patriot Jane Lloyd cooks up a local speciality of roast lamb. However, in keeping with the previous dinners, yet another argument breaks out. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor Bear lands on Ireland’s west coast. He uses his skill and determination to survive the terrain, scaling 2,000 foot cliffs and feasting on a dead sheep. 8.30 ER See highlights. 9.30 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.30 Sacha Baron Cohen: New Heroes Of Comedy A profile of Sacha Baron Cohen, the comedian behind Ali G and Borat, charting his rise from a five-minute slot on the 11 O’Clock Show to stardom. 11.35 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own chat show. 12.25am Big Brother’s Big Mouth 1.25 Dubplate 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 Scrapheap Challenge 5.25 Countdown
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Race World 7.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.00 Friday Fight Night 1.00pm LIVE Cricket 6.00 Where Are They Now? 6.30 Rugby Union 8.00 LIVE Masters Football: Scottish Masters 11.00 Rugby Union 12.30am Gillette World Sport 1.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 5.00 Volvo Ocean Race 5.30 Gillette World Sport
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Friday Fight Night 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf 4.00 Where Are They Now? 4.30 Volvo Ocean Race 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Gillette World Sport 8.30 Rugby Union 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Golf Night 4.00 Rugby Union 5.30 Ocean Adventures
1.00pm Malcolm In The Middle (x4) 3.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 4.00 American Gladiators 5.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) Madonna Sticky And Sweet: Live From Buenos Aires 11.30 Martina Cole’s The Take 12.30am Bones 1.30 Miami SWAT 2.25 Night Cops
7.00pm Make My Body Younger 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 FILM: Superman Returns (2006) 11.25 Live At The Apollo 12.10am Family Guy 12.35 American Dad! 12.55 The Real Hustle On Holiday 1.25 Bizarre ER 1.55 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.25 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.55 Make My Body Younger 3.55 The Real Hustle On Holiday
7.00pm Crude Britannia: The Story Of North Sea Oil 8.00 Iran And Britain 9.00 Iran And The West (x3) 12.00am Wallander 1.30 Iran And Britain 2.30 Crude Britannia: The Story Of North Sea Oil 5.30 Close
11.00am Coronation Street Omnibus 1.25pm Nanny 911 2.25 Holiday Showdown 3.25 FILM: IQ (1994) 5.30 Animals Do The Funniest Things 6.30 America’s Got Talent (x2) 8.30 FILM: Sister Act (1992) 10.30 FILM: Total Recall (1990) 12.50am America’s Got Talent (x2) 2.40 FM 3.00 The Ricki Lake Show
11.30am The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Bribery And Corruption (x2) 1.45pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.50 Jane Austen’s Emma 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Inspector Morse 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.10 FILM: Hand Of A Murderer () 1.10am Wycliffe 2.00 Upstairs, Downstairs
10.45am FILM: Freaky Friday (1977) 12.40pm Roswell (x2) 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Reaper 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 Scrubs 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Crocodile Dundee II (1988) 11.10 Frank Skinner Live At The Birmingham Hippodrome 12.15am Big Brother: Live
10.05am Time Team (x4) 2.25pm FILM: Donovan’s Reef (1963) 4.35 Grand Designs (x3) 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited (x2) 10.00 7/7: The Angels Of Edgware Road 11.05 7/7: The Miracle Of Carriage 346 12.10am The West Wing 1.10 7/7: The Angels Of Edgware Road 2.10 7/7: The Miracle Of Carriage 346
2.00pm Britain’s Next Top Model 3.00 Passport Patrol (x3) 4.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 8.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 In Bed With Yvette And Karl 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Boston Legal 3.00 Cheerleader Nation
6.00pm Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 7.00 Time Warp 7.30 Time Warp 8.00 Extreme Loggers 9.00 Investigation X 10.00 Crimes That Shook The World 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.30 Crime Scene USA: Missing Persons Unit 2.00 Solved 3.00 Investigation X
6.00am FILM: The Haunting Within (2003) 8.00 Teleshopping 11.20 Knight Rider (x8). See highlights. 8.00pm FILM: Jason And The Argonauts (1963) 10.00 My Own Worst Enemy 11.00 FILM: Street Fighter (1994) 1.00am FILM: Abominable (2006) 3.00 Medium 4.00 FILM: Descent (2005)
12.30pm War Of The Worlds (1953) 2.00 Coogan’s Bluff (1968) 3.40 Les Miserables (1935) 5.40 You Were Never Lovelier (1942) 7.20 The Far Country (1955) 9.00 Shane (1953) 11.05 War Of The Worlds (1953) 12.35am Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 2.25 Too Late The Hero (1970)
10.50am Mumford (1999) 12.50pm The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007) 3.40 Tell No One (2006) 6.00 Sicko (2007) 8.10 The Walker (2007) 10.00 In Bruges (2008) 11.50 Bringing Out The Dead (1999) 1.50am Clubland (2007) 3.40 Hana-Bi (1997)
11.00am The Drum (1938) 1.00pm The Animal (2001) 2.40 A Kid For Two Farthings (1955) 4.25 Boy On A Dolphin (1957) 6.45 Unconditional Love (2002) 9.00 The Untouchables (1987) 11.15 Once Upon A Time In America (1984) 3.40am Close
7.15am Crossing Delancey (1988) 8.50 The Defector (1966) 10.50 An American In Paris (1951) 1.00pm Firecreek (1968) 3.00 Gypsy (1962) 5.45 Pick A Star (1937) 7.00 Jack Frost (1998) 9.00 Mad City (1997) 11.15 Spawn (1997) 1.10am Mad City (1997) 3.25 Westworld (1973) 5.00 Firecreek (1968)
3.25pm The Likely Lads 4.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 4.40 The Thin Blue Line (x2) 6.00 Blackadder Goes Forth 6.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 9.00 Jonathan Creek (x2) 12.05am The Black Adder 12.50 The Dick Emery Show 1.10 The Two Ronnies 2.10 The New Statesman (x2) 3.00 Home Shopping
4.00pm Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans Live In Scotland 10.30 Brendon Burns: So I Suppose This Is Offensive Now 12.05am FILM: 48 Hrs (1982) 1.55 Rules Of Engagement (x2)
sunday 5 Wimbledon 2009 BBC1/BBC2, 1.30pm/5.40pm The very last day! My, how fast it’s all gone, with our glut of lawn tennis, hopes raised and smashed and the odd string broken at just the wrong time. Could you curse the weather and blame the sun/rain for your favourite’s performance? Regardless, here’s what it’s all about – the men’s final.
Revelations: Muslim School Channel 4, 7pm Documenting the first year at a Muslim faith school in Nottingham for two very different girls, this follows third generation Pakistani seven-year-old Zara, and Aysha who is from mixed race parentage and 12 years old. Over the course of a year how will their identities and beliefs change? Growing up, eh?
Being Neil Armstrong BBC4, 9pm It’s been four decades since Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon and since then he’s turned into a bit of a recluse. Andrew Smith, author of Moondust, sets out across America to find out the truth behind the myth, using interviews with people who really knew him – from childhood friends to fellow astronauts.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Yesterday At Wimbledon 7.00 Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 EastEnders Omnibus 1.30 Wimbledon 2009: Men’s Final. See highlights. 5.40 BBC News
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 ChuckleVision 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Gimme A Break 8.00 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 Escape From Scorpion Island 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Celebrity MasterChef 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Escape To The Country 1.30 EastEnders Omnibus 2.00 FILM: El Cid (1961) 4.55 Coast 5.05 Songs Of Praise 5.40 Wimbledon 2009 See highlights.
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Britain’s Favourite View 9.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.55 ITV News And Weather 12.00pm Wish You Were Here – Now And Then 12.30 Dream Homes 1.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 2.30 FILM: Columbo: An Exercise In Fatality () 4.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Volvo Ocean Race 8.00 British Triathlon Super Series 9.00 Big Brother 10.00 Preston: Video Exclusive 10.05 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.35pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.35 Friends 2.10 Friends 2.35 Ugly Betty 3.35 The Simpsons 4.10 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 Supernanny US
6.00am Super League 8.00 International Rugby Union 9.30 Cricket Writers On TV 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30pm Where Are They Now? 7.00 LIVE Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 1.00am Golf Night 3.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 5.00 Wild Spirits
8.00 Top Gear Motoring news and views. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May confront the credit crunch head on as they attempt to find three sensibly priced small cars that won’t make you miserable, a process that involves haranguing bankers, harnessing large dogs, and almost getting arrested. Plus, James meets American stunt driving legend Ken Block, Jeremy tests the mildly insane Mercedes SL Black on the track, and Michael McIntyre is the guest star in the Reasonably Priced Car. 9.00 On Thin Ice James Cracknell and Ben Fogle attempt to race to the South Pole, with their new matey who is going to be their team third, but probably isn’t that used to having their every waking moment filmed by the BBC. In the very cold. 10.00 MotoGP MotoGP. When bikers race around and around in circles on very fast bikes and their mothers all suck in their breath and tell each other that they told their child it was dangerous, but did they listen? 11.00 Today At Wimbledon Today at Wimbledon. In case you were out doing stuff today, here’s the men’s final highlights. Plus other bits. 12.00am FILM: Q & A (1990) Gritty noir thriller about corruption in New York’s criminal justice system.2.05 BBC News 4.10 The Super League Show
6.30 Meridian News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 The Royal Last in series. Brigid tries to help Moira and her baby, but when events take a shocking turn Weatherill and Ormerod are left with a heartbreaking decision to make. 8.00 The Secret Caribbean With Trevor McDonald In part two, Trev visits three very differnet islands. Musha Cay is owned by the magician David Copperfield. In direct contrast, in Jamaica Trevor is given permission to visit some of the British women in prison. Then on to meet the man who owns most of luxurious Barbados. 9.00 Kingdom Drama. Lyle goes home to Stockport to help save his mum’s allotment. As good a reason as any. 10.00 Ladies Of Letters Warm comedy drama about two women who become penpals and friends. Irene finds herself in hospital suffering from amnesia and a prediliction for foul language after an incident with a bulldozer at the demonstration. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 Comedy Classics: Rising Damp Looking at six classic sitcoms. 11.45 Crossing Jordan Crime drama 12.45am A Match Made In Heaven 1.05 The Cosby Mysteries 2.00 Quincy, ME 2.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.35 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.20 Rupert Bear 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 The Saturdays At Work 11.00 Build A New Life In The Country 12.00pm Monster Moves 1.00 Mean Machines 1.30 Zoo Days 1.45 FILM: Good Boy! (2003) 3.20 FILM: The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen (1989) 5.45 Five News 5.50 FILM: The Karate Kid III (1989) 8.00 Among The Apes Renowned primatologist Charlotte Uhlenbroek travels the world on a quest that brings her face to face with some of the world’s greatest primates. Charlotte heads to Borneo where the native orangutans are fighting for survival. 9.00 FILM: The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) Starring Geena Davis, Samuel L Jackson, Craig Bierko, Patrick Malahide, Brian Cox. No-holds-barred action thriller about an amnesiac schoolteacher who discovers she was formerly a government assassin when she hires a low-rent private eye to help fill the gaps in her memory. Together they go on the run in a race against the clock to stop her former taskmasters from putting a heinous plan into action before they can silence her for good. 11.20 FILM: The Premonition (1999) Starring Burt Reynolds, Charles Durning, Bruce Dern, Gigi Rice. Action thriller about a detective who is jailed for a murder he did not commit. Is there any other kind? When the man’s cellmate reveals that he has had premonitions of a series of bomb attacks, the detective finds himself called upon to track down the terrorists responsible. 1.10am Ironman (x3) 3.45 Boxing USA 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00 Antiques Roadshow Experts invite members of the public to bring along their antiques for evaluation. 6.20 South East Today 6.30 Antiques Roadshow 7.00 Countryfile Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury head for Pembrokeshire in Wales for the annual fish festival. 8.00 Hope Springs Sadie is taken prisoner in her own bedroom on the day of Ann Marie and Gil’s wedding. Events take a terrifying turn for the worse when hitman Marius arrives in Hope Springs. Nobody expects a hitman, really. 9.00 Casualty 1909 Drama. What is the secret of probationer Nellie Bowers when Sister Russell catches her sneaking out to see a mysterious young man? What is the secret of the woman brought in wearing pauper’s clothes but silk underwear? And what is the dangerous experiment that the brilliant pioneer Dr Henry Head decides he must risk performing on himself? All sounds dead dodgy. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 Regional News; Weather 10.25 FILM: AI: Artificial Intelligence (2001) Starring Haley Osment, Jude Law. Futuristic version of the fairy tale Pinocchio. 12.45am The Sky At Night 1.05 Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: The Violent Highway 2.10 Holby City 3.10 Empire Of Cricket 4.10 News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Revelations: Muslim School See highlights. 8.00 Wife Swap Reality programme in which people exchange their partners, children and homes for a short period. Self-confessed wannabe WAG Andrea Hornby swaps places with Kathy Berner, a working mum with strong family values. Fight! 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own entertainment chat show, featuring sketches, interviews and audience participation. Guests include comedian Dawn French and property experts Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer, with music from La Roux. 10.50 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show alongside team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. Repeat of Friday’s show. 11.25 FILM: Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny (2006) Starring Jack Black, Kyle Gass, Tim Robbins, Troy Gentile, Dave Grohl and Ben Stiller. Rock comedy. Two musically-talented slackers form a band and set off in search of a mystical plectrum that they believe will bestow upon them Rock God status. 1.15am Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 Scrapheap Challenge 5.25 Countdown
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 4.00pm Wild Spirits 4.30 Gillette World Sport 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 LIVE Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 8.30 NASCAR 10.30 Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 1.00am NASCAR
Sky Sports 3 6.00am British Motocross Championship 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 WWE Afterburn 8.30 WWE Vintage Collection 9.30 NASCAR 11.30 Masters Football: Scottish Masters 2.25pm LIVE International Cricket 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am Wild Spirits 1.00 British Motocross Championship 2.00 Close
12.00pm Oops TV 12.30 Malcolm In The Middle 1.00 The Real A & E (x2) 3.00 Bones 4.00 Futurama (x4) 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 House 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Bones (x2) 12.00am Bones 1.00 Road Wars (x2) 2.50 The Villa 3.45 Brainiac: History Abuse
7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? 7.30 FILM: Freaky Friday (2003) 9.00 Britney Spears Saved My Life 10.00 Family Guy 10.25 American Dad! 10.45 When Diets Go Wrong 11.45 Britney Spears Saved My Life 12.45am Katie Price: The Jordan Years 1.45 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 2.45 When Diets Go Wrong
7.00pm The Day Of The Triffids 7.30 The Day Of The Triffids 8.00 Wainwright’s Walks 8.30 Fossil Detectives 9.00 Being Neil Armstrong. See highlights. 10.00 Man On The Moon 11.45 Wallander 1.20am The Martians And Us 2.20 Fossil Detectives 2.50 Being Neil Armstrong 5.30 Close
2.10pm I’m A Celebrity... USA ‘09 (x2) 5.10 I’m A Celebrity... USA ‘09: The Finale 6.15 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2008 (Part One) 7.15 FILM: Ice Age 2: The Meltdown () 9.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 10.00 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 12.40am The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2008 (Part One) 1.40 Judge Judy
11.55am Inspector Morse 2.05pm Kavanagh QC 3.45 Wycliffe 4.50 FILM: Princess Caraboo (1994) 6.50 The Best Of The Royal Variety 7.55 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 FILM: Inside I’m Dancing (2004) 11.05 Torn 12.10am FILM: Hand Of A Murderer () 2.00 Surgical Spirit (x2) 2.50 The Wonder Years
8.45am Young, Sexy And... Royal 9.45 Beauty And The Geek 10.45 Desperate Housewives (x5) 3.00pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 4.00 Wife Swap 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 7.00 Ugly Betty 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Waterboy (1999) 10.45 FILM: Van Wilder (2002) 12.35am Big Brother: Live
11.10am Scrapheap Challenge (x4) 2.20pm Coach Trip (x5) 5.05 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Beyond River Cottage (x2) 9.00 Secret Millionaire 10.00 Kimberley: Young Mum Ten Years On 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 The IT Crowd 12.10am Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.50 Deal Or No Deal 1.35 The Secret Millionaire
12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Passport Patrol (x10) 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Cheerleader Nation
10.00am How Do They Do It? (x2) 11.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 12.00pm Oil, Sweat And Rigs (x5) 5.00 Mythbusters (x4) 9.00 Treasure Quest 10.00 20th Anniversary: Viewers’ Top Five 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.30 Crime Scene USA: Missing Persons Unit 2.00 Solved
1.00pm FILM: Dungeons And Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 3.00 FILM: Jason And The Argonauts (1963) 5.00 Triangle 7.00 Knight Rider 8.00 Dollhouse 9.00 FILM: Street Fighter (1994) 11.00 Heroes (x2) 1.00 FILM: Kaw (2007) 3.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 4.00 FILM: The Haunting Within (2003)
2.30pm Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines (1965) 4.45 The Front Page (1974) 6.30 35mm 7.00 Seven Days In May (1964) 9.00 To Catch A Thief (1955) 10.50 Rear Window (1954) 12.45am A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) 2.50 The Enemy Below (1957)
11.00am Control (2007) 1.05pm Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 3.05 Ride With The Devil (1999) 5.25 Best (2000) 7.25 Control (2007) 9.30 35mm 10.00 McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 12.05am Ride With The Devil (1999) 2.25 35mm 2.55 Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 5.00 35mm
11.00am The Frogmen (1951) 1.00pm Grease (1978) 3.10 Destination Gobi (1953) 5.05 Carpool (1996) 6.50 Made In America (1993) 9.00 The Italian Job (2003) 11.05 Shaft (2000) 1.00am The Luzhin Defence (1999) 3.15 Close
7.20am Pick A Star (1937) 8.30 An American In Paris (1951) 10.40 Mister Roberts (1955) 1.00pm Downhill Racer (1969) 3.00 The Abdication (1974) 4.55 The Girl From Missouri (1934) 6.15 Ice Station Zebra (1968) 9.00 Tin Cup (1996) 11.45 Being Human (1994) 2.05am Tin Cup (1996) 4.25 The Screening Room
12.20pm The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 2.15 Open All Hours (x2) 3.35 Blackadder Goes Forth 4.15 Dinnerladies (x2) 5.35 One Foot In The Grave (x2) 7.10 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.55 The Black Adder 11.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 12.20am Jonathan Creek 1.40 New Adventures Of Old Christine
12.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x24) 9.00 FILM: 48 Hrs (1982) 10.50 Lee Evans Live In Scotland 12.20am Scrubs 12.50 Rules Of Engagement 1.20 The Office: An American Workplace 1.50 The Grumpy Guide To Design 2.30 Grumpy Old Women 3.10 Everybody Loves Raymond
monday 6 Torchwood: Children Of Earth BBC1, 9pm It’s back! Yay, as Russell T Davies delivers the goods yet again. This time he turns the very nature of children on its head – in that they naturally run around absolutely everywhere and they’ve all stopped still. All over the world. This look like a job for Torchwood. Good job they’re back.
The Supersizers Eat... The French Revolution BBC2, 9pm Bound to be plenty of jokes about eating cake, but that aside our intrepid culinary time explorers Giles Coren and Sue Perkins grab themselves wigs and corsets and tuck in. Learning a bit more about Marie Antoinette, and how the revolution helped create the first restaurant, there’s loads here.
Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford ITV3, 9pm The 80s are tough enough for poor old Inspector Wexford with all those murders around him willy nilly, but now he’s got to be sensitive to race relations too, as the daughter of his Nigerian GP goes missing. How’s he supposed to maintain a broad accent with all that going on?
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Nuzzle And Scratch 3.25 Martha Speaks 3.35 Arthur 3.50 Arthur 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 M.I. High 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.05 Poetry Pie 9.10 LazyTown Extra 9.25 Mister Maker 9.45 Harry And Toto 9.55 Tellytales 10.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 10.30 Yesterday At Wimbledon 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 Axe The Agent? 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds Celebrities search for antique bargains. Like they need the dosh. 7.00 Nigella Express Recipes include a standby sweetcorn chowder topped with toasted tortilla chips for a late night treat, a quesadilla, and a dinner of ‘Roqualmole’ (Roquefort and guacamole) dip. Slaver. 7.30 Hampton Court Flower Show Hampton Court Flower Show. Pretty. 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions in the opening match of the series, as the students of Christ’s College, Cambridge do battle with the team of the University of Warwick. 8.30 What To Eat Now What it says on the tin 9.00 The Supersizers Eat... The French Revolution See highlights. 10.00 Krod Mandoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire Fantasy comedy series. Krod and the gang learn they have been pawns in a conspiracy and try to save the resistance by deactivating the Eye of Gulga Grymna before it is too late. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series. Stringer is furious to find out that Brianna wants to contact McNulty about her son D’Angelo’s death. 12.15am News 4.00 Deutsch Plus 1-8
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 How Clean Is Your House? 9.35 Will And Grace 10.05 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Class: Today’s Nude 1.00 The Midland: Checking Into History 1.20 FILM: The Grass Is Greener (1960) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me: Extra Portions
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 11.30 Where Are They Now? 12.00pm Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 2.00 Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 4.30 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 7.00 Where Are They Now? 7.30 LIVE Speedway 9.30 Where Are They Now? 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Speedway 1.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Time Of Our Lives 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Natasha and Mark come close to divorcing. Let the confetti settle a bit before you start making rash decisions people. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony reassures Maria that she is not alone. Molly and Kevin’s attempts to see each other are thwarted. Is Maria tied to Molly’s ankle? That covers both stories. 8.00 Airline A typically fraught afternoon at Luton - a passenger has turned up too late for her flight and she has left her passport at home in South London. Does she REALLY want to go? 8.30 Coronation Street Tyrone’s plan for a romantic dinner goes awry. 9.00 Real Crime: Hannah’s Killer Nowhere To Hide The story of the investigation into the brutal rape and murder of Southampton teenager, Hannah Foster. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Mars Attacks! (1996) Starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J Fox. Offbeat, comic stripstyle, sci-fi satire about a Martian invasion of planet Earth. Great fun. 12.35am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.30 Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren reveals what he and Hannah got up to on their weekend in Denmark. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Teenagers Fighting Cancer Documentary set inside the specialised cancer ward at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham, where teenage patients undergo treatment in the hope of overcoming their illness. 9.00 Inside Nature’s Giants Evolutionary biologist Professor Richard Dawkins traces the large animals’ places on the tree of life. Experts dissect a 60-ton fin whale which has died after being stranded off the coast of Ireland. It’s a race against time for whale anatomist Joy Reidenberg to fly in from New York before the animal’s decomposition causes it to explode. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house. 11.10 Wife Swap Reality programme in which people exchange their partners, children and homes for a short period. Self-confessed wannabe WAG Andrea Hornby swaps places with Kathy Berner, a working mum with strong family values. 12.10am Freesports On 4 1.10 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Bob And Margaret 4.25 FILM: Love Happy (1950) 5.50 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.37 Little Lodgers 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Beeps 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.00 FILM: Though None Go With Me (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Irene starts to think Donna could have murdered Lou. Oo-ooh! 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Colchester Zoo. The keepers attempt to catch a poorly penguin who seems determined not to receive medical attention. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Hidden Ashes 05 Ahead of this year’s Ashes series, Mark Nicholas takes a timely look back at England’s 2005 triumph over Australia. 8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show presented by Vicki ButlerHenderson, Jonny Smith, Tim Shaw, Tiff Needell. Tiff and Jason declare war in a unique tank ‘dogfight’. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector New series of the show that transforms failing hotels across the UK. Nononsense hotelier Alex Polizzi comes face to face with one of the worst establishments she has ever visited the Crown Inn in Lewes. Oh dear. 10.00 FILM: Seven (1995) Starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow. Disturbing gothic thriller about two detectives searching for a serial killer who seems to be exacting retribution for the seven deadly sins. 12.40am America’s Toughest Prisons 1.40 NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 2.35 Race And Rally UK .20 Motorsport Mundial 3.45 Rolex Grand American 4.30 FIM Motocross 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Dom’s On The Case: The Great British Jam Dominic Littlewood investigates why our roads are so clogged up. He visits Bristol to see how traffic jams are managed, challenges a cyclist to a rush-hour race in Birmingham, and tries to get rid of school run gridlock. 8.00 EastEnders Manda is excited about her hot date with Minty, but he has bigger things on his mind; will he tell Garry the truth? Meanwhile, Shirley follows Heather to hospital in a bid to uncover her dark secret. 8.30 Panorama When we want to fight plans to build a waste dump, we take to the streets in protest. But what if that results in the police filming and searching us, noting our car registrations and keeping our details on file for up to seven years? Panorama asks questions. 9.00 Torchwood: Children Of Earth See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 11.20 FILM: All Or Nothing (2001) Starring Timothy Spall, Lesley Manville. Gritty drama following a minicab driver and his wife. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: Off By Heart 3.00 Escape The Elephants 3.30 Heir Hunters 4.15 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 12.30pm Ocean Adventures 1.00 Darts: Las Vegas Classic 3.30 Wild Spirits 4.00 Golf Night 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 FEI Equestrian World 9.30 The Irish Golfer 10.00 Poker: PCA High Rollers Event 11.00 Golf: Midland PGA Invitational 2009 12.00am Time Of Our Lives 1.00 Poker: PCA High Rollers Event 2.00 Golf: PGA Pro-Am Championship 3.00 Golf: Midland PGA Invitational 2009 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 10.00am Women’s Pool 11.00 WWE Afterburn 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Golf Night 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 3.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Golf: PGA ProAm Championship 8.00 Golf: Midland PGA Invitational 2009 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
12.00pm The Biggest Loser 1.00 Top Design 2.00 Lost 3.00 Bones 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Lion Man (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 My Breasts Could Kill Me 10.00 Road Wars (x2) 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Ross Kemp In Afghanistan 1.50 Road Wars 2.40 Stargate SG-1
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who: Top 5 Christmas Moments 8.00 Robin Hood 8.50 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 9.00 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 12.45am Personal Affairs 1.45 Gavin And Stacey (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 Space Dogs 8.45 For All Mankind 10.00 Apollo Wives 11.05 The Moon 12.05am Being Neil Armstrong 1.05 The Martians And Us 2.05 Space Dogs 2.50 Apollo Wives 3.45 The Sky At Night 5.30 Close
5.15pm Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Liam Gallagher: The Hot Desk 8.00 The Chopping Block 9.00 FILM: Total Recall (1990) 11.20 Coronation Street (x2) 12.20am Celebrity Juice (x2) 1.20 The Chopping Block 2.10 Teleshopping
3.00pm Wycliffe 4.05 PD James: Devices And Desires 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 On The Buses 7.20 Carry On Laughing 7.55 Wild At Heart 9.00 Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford. See highlights. 11.10 Clocking Off 12.15am The Lakes 1.15 Kavanagh QC 2.30 The Wonder Years (x2)
1.55am Big Brother 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Shameless 11.00 FILM: The Waterboy (1999) 12.45am Big Brother: Live
6.05pm Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Property Snakes And Ladders 10.00 Relocation, Relocation 11.05 Grand Designs 12.10am Property Snakes And Ladders 1.15 Relocation, Relocation 2.15 Grand Designs 3.15 Close
3.00pm Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will & Grace (x2) 8.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 9.00 Four Weddings 10.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Britain’s Next Top Model
4.00pm Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How Does That Work? 9.00 Time Warp (x2) 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Chop Shop: London Garage 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 2.00 Solved 3.00 Time Warp (x2)
7.30am 3rd Rock From The Sun 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Thunderbirds (x5) 4.20pm FILM: Nuclear Hurricane (2007) 6.10 Triangle 8.00 Triangle 10.00 My Own Worst Enemy 11.00 Bionic Woman 12.00am FILM: Post Impact (2004) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun 2.30 3rd Rock From The Sun 3.00 Medium
9.30am Charade (1963) 11.25 The King And I (1956) 1.40pm Notorious (1946) 3.25 Topaz (1969) 5.50 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 7.30 The Producers (1968) 9.00 The King And I (1956) 11.15 Notorious (1946) 1.00am Psycho (1960) 2.55 The Blob (1958)
9.00am Tube Tales (1999) 10.35 Paper Moon (1973) 12.25pm Ten Canoes (2006) 2.00 La Vie En Rose (2006) 4.20 Cradle Will Rock (1999) 6.40 Tube Tales (1999) 8.15 Paper Moon (1973) 10.00 Once (2006) 11.30 La Vie En Rose (2006) 1.55am Requiem For A Dream (2000)
11.00am Footsteps In The Fog (1955) 12.45pm The Common Touch (1941) 2.55 23 Paces To Baker Street (1956) 5.00 On Golden Pond (1981) 7.10 Baby’s Day Out (1994) 9.00 A Good Year (2006) 11.15 Marathon Man (1976) 1.40am The Woodsman (2004) 3.30 Close
10.10am Ice Station Zebra (1968) 1.00pm Which Way To The Front? (1970) 3.00 Mrs Soffel (1984) 5.05 The Shop Around The Corner (1940) 7.00 To Have And Have Not (1944) 9.00 Before Sunrise (1995) 10.55 Pretty In Pink (1986) 12.50am Before Sunrise (1995) 2.40 Inside Daisy Clover (1965)
5.00pm As Time Goes By 5.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.20 Harry Enfield And Chums 11.00 Jonathan Creek 12.20am Early Doors 12.55 Harry Enfield And Chums 1.35 Early Doors
6.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2) 1.40 Rules Of Engagement 2.10 Comedy Store (x2)
Published on Jun 30, 2009
Published on Jun 30, 2009
Tudor Treasures: Whitgift school exhibition hidden treasures from the Mary Rose. Heather Mills: Meatless meats and vegan treats from the Sus...