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the city magazine for brighton & hove

★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 28 April – 4 May 2009


paper chase russell crowe on state of play

open all hours go check out the artists’ open houses

festival frenzy it’s nearly here! 11 pages of everything you need to know about brighton festival latest

starting on page 25 howling success drookit dogs on their new album and wet scottish pets


the uk’s best free green & ethical lifestyle magazine is now inside latest 7 p22



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Contents ★latest upfront 5–11 5 Seann wishes he wasn’t a commuter 6 Social Diary at the launch of Brighton Bible and a giant moustache party

Welcome T

★ latest listings 23–41 23 Reviews The Prodigy were awesome

24 Stage The stars of A View From The Bridge

6 Win opera tickets 7 Dani reassesses the benefits system 8 Alison‘s a gym bunny; Will’s in Spain 9 Celebcity: Aldo Zilli’s tiff with MyHotel 10 Bare Cheek films and more things to do in Brighton before you cop it


25 Brighton Festival On the cover: our exclusive eleven page guide to Brighton Festival

36 Film


Russell Crowe on State of Play

38 Comedy Vicky talks to Pappy’s Fun Club

10 Astral Angi rolls her sleeves up and tells you how to get organised

11 Artists‘ Open Houses six-page guide: what to see and what’s new this year

★ latest news 17–19

38 Art Selectors‘ Choice at Artists‘ Open Houses festival

39 Kids & Events The Children’s Parade is back

39 Books John’s pick of Brighton Festival

17 News: roadworks nearly over, Brighton Marathon approved

19 Letters: Remembering Dachau 19 Sport: once more unto the breach with our beloved Albion

Brighton  Latest Download Chart


40 Music Drookit Dogs and the Great Escape

★ latest lifestyle 20–22

43 Clubs

20 Hotlist: our favourite places to eat

44 Gay




Laugh at, sorry, with your friends at the Silent Disco Sifting through Brighton’s gay past; and a book launch by an HIV activist

Yoga special offer

46 TV Dani on Hell’s Kitchen; plus a free eight page TV guide

25 40

01273 818150

 Editorial: Advertising: Managing Editor Bill Smith

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Business Director Angi Mariani

Editor Rachel Pegg

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Art Director Stephen King

Sub Editor Patrick O’Donnell Marie Vagen

Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writer Dani Winch Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit Books Writer John O‘Donoghue

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Marie Viviani


he only bad thing about festival season in Brighton and Hove is that sometimes there can seem a little too much going on to digest. That’s what we’re here for. This week we’ve got an eleven-page feature on Brighton Festival, with the artistic directors explaining their inspiration behind the programming and picking out some of the highlights (p25). We’ve also got six-pages on the Artists‘ Open Houses Festival, with what’s new this year and some of the most interesting homes and trails (p11). Throughout the mag we’ve got news of other events coming up in the Festival and Brighton Festival Fringe, such as a historical tour of Brighton’s gay pubs (p44) and an interview with Matthew Crosby of Pappy’s Fun Club (p38). Music editor Jeff Hemmings has interviewed Matt Oldfield of Drookit Dogs, who will be supporting The Levellers at the gorgeous fringe venue the Parlure Spiegeltent in Old Steine (p40). On the same page, Jeff takes a look at the line-up of yet another festival happening in Brighton during May – The Great Escape. With the advent of the main Festival comes the Children’s Parade, find out where to see it on our kids‘ page (p39). In our film section, which has movie times for all the local cinemas, read about why Russell Crowe still hates journalists, despite portraying one in his latest blockbuster State of Play (p37). For what’s not on at the pictures, turn to Bare Cheek, Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s satirical take on life in Brighton and Hove (p10). We also have more offers and competitions for you, including the chance to win cinema or opera tickets (pages 37 and 6) and 14 days of yoga for £14 at Hove’s Dynamic Yoga (p21). Regular columnist Alison Swann is getting right into this fitness malarkey as part of training for the London to Brighton cycle ride. This week she talks about her first session with a personal trainer. By next issue it will be festival time. For highlights, news and reviews, keep reading Latest 7 each week and checking out where you can hear daily from our reviewers about which shows are making a splash.

Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor



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Seann Walsh finds the trauma of train travel is not helped by the existence of other people

The train strain spend most of my life on trains, going to London, or the Midlands, or Berkshire, or Wales, or the North, or any part of the country that isn’t home. The North is the worst of these. Not only is it the grimmest, full of people who sound as if they want to kill themselves, but look as if they’ve killed someone else; it is also the furthest away, which means more time on trains, which means more delays, more toilets that don’t work, more rail replacement buses, and so on, and so on, and so on. There is so much wrong with trains. And the more we have to use them, the more the complaints multiply. Regular travellers become obsessive about the conditions for satisfactory travel. If possible, I like to be near the front of the train, on a two-seater on the right-hand side of the carriage, facing forwards, not looking at the toilet, with no-one sitting next to me, no regular eye contact with other passengers, and no-one eating crisps, apples or anything crunchy that makes


a noise. In listing these things, I’m somewhat alarmed at how fussy I’ve become. But all the regulars are the same. Public transport makes us selfish, selfrighteous and hateful. Because of this sad fact, any violation of these conditions is regarded as a cruel personal attack delivered by fate. I have sensed entire carriages of weary people think to themselves: “Why are we stopping in Wivelsfield? No-one lives in Wivelsfield. God hates me.“ And I myself have thought the same. The most extreme illustration of this notion occurs at a special time of day with which I’m not

“Why are we stopping in Wivelsfield? Noone lives in Wivelsfield. God hates me”

overly familiar, known to most people as the morning. The commuters’ train is an earlymorning hell that’s necessary to so many. And it is awash with tiredness and hatred. If you get the train from Brighton to London at 7am, you can feel the

contempt wafting through the air, as the train gets more and more crowded stop by stop. These people are the most regular train travellers of all, and their journey is the worst. Never are trains less pleasant; never are they more full. You see the jaded grey suits shuffling their bags around to make sure no-one touches them. Any noise so early is a wicked offence, amplified by the surrounding silence: any cough too aggressive, any newspaper rustled too much, any ring tone at all, any briefcase fumbled with too clumsily, any sneeze. Everyone’s eyes roll towards the offender and glare as if to say, “Why? Why are you doing this to me so early in the morning?” Noone really wants to be awake at that time, unless they’re very young, very old, or on drugs. One of life’s great pains is obligation – anything we have to do can become a grievance. The only way to overcome this burden is to have a positive mental attitude, so I’ve got no chance. Nor do the commuters. And to think – all this stress of being locked in a metal box on rails, surrounded by a life’s worth of pet-hates, with all five senses being invaded by irritations – all this to end up in the North.

latestcrossword Cryptic 191

solutions on page 42

Quick 191




7 Standard work for pupils one to 100 (7) 8 The French street from which to depart (5) 9 Foreigner, about 100, making entertainment (5) 10 I’m taking dads to painting practice (7) 11 Somehow rid Ed’s sons of squalor (10) 14 Lustre of songs associated with the Isles (10) 17 Fundamental date’s first to be fixed (7) 19 Put foot down - Tom’s beginning to be bookish (5) 20 Fat medal with points attached (5) 21 Passage not including Rousseau’s initial insert (7)

1 Girl accepted by wife out of politeness (7) 2 Particular paranormal gift getting Alice excited (8) 3 Opening scenes in progress start filming! (6) 4 Smack chums around (4) 5 Flower girl (5) 6 Written after Debussy’s first pieces disintegrated (10) 9 Surgical operation subject to debate (10) 12 Council leader with strange Asiatic complaint (8) 13 Heavenly bodies in remote orbit over the pole (7) 15 Make unhappy Danes disperse about Land’s End (6) 16 Loses strength like sporting body some of the French support (5) 18 Vegetable town (4)

7 Round building (7) 8 Pungent (5) 9 Strength (5) 10 Indecent (7) 11 Unnecessarily (10) 14 Star-gazer (10) 17 Bit gently (7) 19 Tooth (5) 20 Fire-raising (5) 21 Theft (7)

DOWN 1 Reel (7) 2 Invests (8) 3 Well known (6) 4 Religious ceremony (4) 5 Avarice (5) 6 Speculator (10) 9 Vast (10) 12 Conspicuous object (8) 13 Reduced (7) 15 Sieve (6) 16 Overweight (5) 18 Bring ashore (4)



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In it to Latest diary win it Tim Richardson at a book ▲

Tickets to see the brand new production of Aida, Turandot and Carmen Ellen Kent International bring three new productions to the Theatre Royal, Brighton at the end of May and we have tickets to give away to these shows. Performed by a large company starring handpicked international soloists alongside the full Chisinau National Philharmonic Orchestra and Chorus. Aida is a story of war, jealousy and revenge, centred around the doomed love of the beautiful Ethiopian slave girl, Aida, and an Egyptian hero. Turandot is the story of a cold-hearted princess and the one man who can melt the ice in her heart. Carmen as you have never seen it before is staged in a bullring for a new spectacular twist to Bizet’s famous opera. First prize is a pair of tickets to see Aida on Wednesday 27 May; a bottle of limited edition Ellen Kent labelled wine; a set of traditional Egyptian papyrus book marks; Opera poster; glossy souvenir programme. Second prize is a pair of tickets to see Turandot on Thursday 28 May; opera poster and souvenir programme Third prize is a pair of tickets to see Carmen on Friday 29 May and a souvenir programme. For a chance to win one of these prizes, courtesy of Ellen Kent International, tell us: In what setting does the opera Carmen take place? See below for entry details.

launch and the unveiling of a gigantic moustache

Bill Smith (Latest Magazine), Peter Jarrette and Diana Frangi – (Brighton Bible)

Launch Party Karma Bar at Brighton Marina was host to a launch party of the coffee table book Brighton Bible by Peter Jarrette and Diana Frangi, published and printed by Brighton based 4 Print and Design. The Brighton Bible is an ongoing compilation project providing a pictorial record of Brighton and Hove ‘society‘ at work and play. Photographic contributions came from many different photographers in Brighton. At the launch, there were speeches from Bill Smith, Mike Mendoza and Cllr David Smith all giving their views on Brighton and Hove city as a place to work, live and have fun. The coffee table book is available in limited edition at 4 Print and Design, 29 Trafalgar Street, Brighton. Call 01273 602981.

Trudi Styles

Diane Cheung (Gars Restaurant) and D.K Cheung

Scarlett, Michael Yeoman (Business Development) and Lindsay Fergusson Paul Craig (Karma Bar) and Ambrose Harcourt (AHPR)

Katie Wilson (Walk in Wardrobe) and Verity Smart (Absolute Brighton)

Michael ‘Atters’ Attree and Myriam Tisler (Forward PR, Parlure Spiegeltent 2009)

Sam Eddison (photographer) and Michael ‘Atters’ Attree

On the wall  To win, email: with ‘Ellen Kent’ in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 11 May

On Thursday 16 April, a giant Mondrian-style photograph of Brighton-based icon Michael ‘Atters’ Attree was unveiled on the wall of The Jugglers Pub, Western Road by local photographer Sam Eddison. The two metre square photographic composite features satirical writer/performer and Chap magazine cad ‘Atters’ in a number of poses reflecting different aspects of his personality, while obviously showing off his trademark handlebar moustache. Photographer Sam Eddison has worked for magazines including Scarlet, More, Grazia and German-based Maxi. As one of the organisers of last year's Burlesque Against Breast Cancer ball, he has previously specialised in photographing burlesque performers. Michael ‘Atters’ Attree will be performing his comedy Chaporgasmic Terrors show as part of Fringe at Fletch@St Andrew’s on Thursday 21 May at 7pm.



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Dani anorama recently broadcast ‘Life after Woolies‘ in which they followed four ex-Woolworths employees while they try and adjust to not having a job and surviving on benefits. The one point that seemed to ring through all the people featured was their surprise at the fact that there seemed very little help available for them. One woman said: “There is no help for those who help themselves,“ and I have to agree. It seems to have always been that way. The fact is that those of us who are trying, but need help for the meantime, seem to have a harder time than those who can’t be bothered to try. All of the people featured on the show have never been out of work, with many of them starting at Woolworths as Saturday boys and girls.


“It has never felt more like we are all just numbers and statistics” The recession seems to have highlighted the fact that there is help out there, but the help available is useless. It is recommended that you have the equivalent to three months‘ wages saved, in case you lose your job. That is all very well but many of us have very little left after paying the mortgage, bills, tax, and for food so the one piece of advice given to

the nation is, for most, unachievable. Is the government so unaware and disconnected from the people that they are underestimating the amounts of money people live on now, let alone before the crunch? It has never felt more like we are all just numbers and statistics. There is no interest from whoever is in charge that although some people can claim unemployment benefit after being made redundant, this doesn’t mean that everything is okay for them. Most will still face the stark possibility of losing their homes. I understand the idea of the government paying everyone who is made redundant enough to cover everything their wages once did is silly, but in general it seems like everyone gets the same – regardless of their circumstances. Before the credit crunch hit, a good year or so ago, I wrote that it annoyed me how the people that worked had to pay for everything: prescriptions, dentist etc and how those who claimed benefit got it all free. I still maintain that the system doesn’t seem fair, but perhaps more could be offered to those who have lost their jobs. And I say lost their jobs because I

Educating the nation Does anyone else think it might have been a good thing if they had been taught about things like mortgages, inflation, bank accounts and money management while they were at school? A few years ago a friend of mine had to send a cheque to someone but she encountered a problem when she realised she had never written a cheque before and was worried she might do it wrong. Isn’t that a basic life skill? I have hardly any understanding of the differences between mortgages available. Perhaps the way out of a recession and a way to stop any future one is to educate people on money matters. Then explain that credit cards are a rip off and that it is better to live off what you earn (if you can) than borrow.

Dani thinks government should be more realistic about the cost of living today still maintain that many people who are on benefits could have, at one point before the crunch, found work, but chose not to. It seems that we are bombarded with news regarding systems changing to help us but it doesn’t actually seem to have happened. It’s starting to look as if those in charge are only doing and saying things to save face, to give the illusion that they are helping, when in actual fact they are only doing it to save their own. I believe that the recession would have hit regardless of who was living at Number 10. But it is becoming clear that the person behind that door is the one to decide whether or not we can keep our houses.

 Comments? Get in touch:



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Alison am not a natural inhabitant of the gym. Well who is? It is not natural to stand around in Lycra pulling heavy things or running on a road to nowhere. But then nor is air travel and lots of people seem perfectly happy to do that. So, seeing as my most over-developed muscle – my tongue – got me into this situation, I summoned up the courage to face the fact that I was going to spend one whole hour with a personal trainer. It’s all part of my preparation for the 54 miles of the London to Brighton cycle ride. Now I am not entirely unfamiliar with the land of gym. I have even gone there voluntarily in the past and waved my arms around like I knew what I was doing. I didn’t, and soon got bored and went for a float in the pool. I want the results, which are so obviously there from exercise, but largely due to my lack of aptitude and commitment, I ain’t ever got very far with the whole game plan. Much like how I loved watching the Kids from Fame when I was a kid, but I never had the slightest inclination to make the sort of effort required to dance like they did. Well I wouldn’t have minded, but how? I was

Alison Swann has a hot date with gym and finds she needs plenty of time to recover


Will (Sponsor me please!) or email me at with your pledge.

Will Harris tries a bit of ‘bi’ on holiday, and fails miserably…

’m sitting al fresco in Barcelona’s historic Gothic Quarter, giving the plate in front of me a suitably gothic expression. The reason? Mussels. I’m not talking about the good kind, the kind that come attached to men with big arms and are best served in a tight T-shirt. The other kind: tiny, pursed devils that lurk at the bottom of the sea and are best served at the opposite end of the restaurant from me. How have I got myself into this situation? There’s not enough lemon or garlic butter in the world to make the creatures in front of me palatable. I wouldn’t have ordered them. But that, I begin to realise, is exactly what I’ve done. Having arrived in the city with the corpse-like pallor of an Englishman and a vocabulary consisting exclusively of ‘si‘, ‘non‘ and ‘gracias‘, I made a pledge to myself I wouldn’t fall into my grandfather’s old ways, remembered from so many childhood holidays. This means no jabbing my finger wildly at foreign menus, no blaring: “Omelette and Heinz beans, poor favor”, in a slow, clear voice at some clearly horrified waiter, and certainly no cajoling my family into a high-class pizzeria and then loudly complaining that I don’t like pizza (I’m convinced that Gramps’s frequent tours


“I waved my arms around like I knew what I was doing. I didn’t, and soon got bored and went for a float in the pool”

happy with my Fame sticker album and that took more than enough effort. So, faced with a body that goes into a seizure at the prospect of getting upright at the appropriate time to get myself to work in the morning, how much did it hurt? A lot. There’s no sweetening the pill. Anyone who says “it wasn’t really that bad“ is masochistic or lying. It’s going to hurt because it does when you first do exercise properly with a body that is more familiar with the strain of opening a bottle of Pinot Grigio than climbing an imaginary mountain. My trainer, Leanne, down at the newly opened Fitness First, was brilliant. Firm, fair and flippin’ fit. There were times when I suggested that I should be allowed to stop; Leanne looked at me, smiling sweetly but with eyes that said ‘no‘. And she was right, I could go further than I thought. Blimey, so all these years I have just been plain lazy, well kind of, but I might just manage to pull my finger out this time. The next day I ached so much I couldn’t get out of the bath. No really, the boy had to help me out. Oh, I can’t wait for my next session.

“I’m convinced Gramps’s tours of the Continent led to us scoring nul points in practically every Eurovision”

of the Continent in later life were what led to us now scoring nul points in practically every Eurovision). Instead, I make an effort to communicate. I listen carefully to how words are pronounced, I throw ‘si‘, ‘non‘ and ‘gracias‘ into conversations pretty much at random, a pained smile fixed to my face. And as a reward I’m soon able to add to my repertoire the words for ‘spicy potatoes’ and ‘fresh water eco-system’. Despite my efforts, I can’t escape the niggling embarrassment that comes from being an Englishman abroad. Every Spaniard I meet, from the driver who collects us from the airport to the chambermaid who changes our sheets, has a grasp of English that puts my attempts to shame. Conversely, all the British holidaymakers I spy (easily identified by their panicked stares and the whites of their knuckles as they cling to their valuables) seem to expect it that way. It strikes me, as I look morosely down at my plate, that this may finally be the waiter’s revenge for our lazy British bilingualism. I accidentally ordered mussels; what I really got was a side order of humble pie.

 For comments and chit chat email:



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sponsored by


Can you believe it?

with Jo Brooks

There’s trouble at mill down at Zilli’s, Katie’s got a new plan and winning jockey gets new teeth

All change Hot in the kitchen It’s handbags at dawn down at MyHotel this week as celebrity chef, Aldo Zilli, finally confirmed that he will be ceasing to run the Aldo Brasserie, the in-house restaurant of the hotel in Jubilee Square. In an interview with the Mail on Sunday, Aldo confirmed that relations with the hotel were now at an end but the 53-year-old chef also said that he would be opening a stand-alone restaurant in the city. Aldo also confirmed that he will be selling his Hove house that he bought with wife Nikki in November 2007, for a whopping £1million. The house now contains a state-of-the-art kitchen, all singing all dancing coffee makers and a massive sub zero temperaturecontrolled storage unit for 120 wine bottles. Aldo is married to ex-Bond girl and model Nikki who now has two children with the chef. Let‘s hope he finds a winning recipe with his new venture!

Katie and Peter are back on our screens – this time showing their hilarious antics in Los Angeles. If you haven’t caught the show on ITV2 check it out, it really is funny. This week however our Katie has announced she wants to become the next Katherine Jenkins. The model is now planning to launch a career as an opera singer. She said: “I‘m going to sing an opera song – even Pete says I could sing better in opera than in pop.“ The star revealed she wants to release her own version of ‘Nessun Dorma‘, the aria from Puccini's Turandot, after saying: “What‘s that famous song, er… ‘Nessun Dorma‘. Yeah."

Local radio award nomination Allison Ferns, who presents the afternoon show on the newly named BBC Sussex and BBC Surrey has been nominated for a prestigious Sony radio award. The event which has been dubbed the Radio Industry‘s Oscars will be held on 11 May at London‘s Grosvenor House Hotel and will be hosted by Chris Evans. Allison has been nominated for the Interview Award and is up against heavyweight contenders such as Eddie Mair and Feargal Keane from Radio 4 – good luck Allison!

Spotted! Actor Richard E Grant sauntering along and enjoying the sunshine in New Road.

Fishy opening Still on the subject of new restaurant openings, I have heard on the grapevine that TV presenter Dermot O‘Leary, is due to open a new seafood restaurant called Fishy Fish in about eight weeks time. Dermot is no stranger to Brighton, and regular readers of this column will know that he likes to go fishing with his local friends at the marina and off the beach at Rottingdean. This passion for fish has now spilled over and is set to become a reality very soon. Watch this space for more details!

Jockeying for position Grand National winning jockey Liam Treadwell from Arundel has been inundated with offers to fix his teeth after Grandstand presenter Clare Balding insulted his pearly whites after wining this year’s race. Liam, 23, who rides at the John Dunlop stables in Arundel said: “As a jockey it‘s the last thing on my mind but you don’t get a lot for free in life – so when it comes along you have to make the most of it.“

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555,

10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of May 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers



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Bare cheek

In & Out



Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

What’s not on Multiplex cinema Another American political thriller bafflingly based on a BBC drama from a couple of years ago, leading one to suspect that Universal will shortly release a film adaptation of Our Friends In The North starring Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel, Jessica Biel, and 50 Cent. (15)

minds whether to go and see it or not. (12a) 2.00, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00, 10.30

Boat-missing film based on something that was really big a year and a half ago. (15) 12.30, 2.00, 4.00, 6.30

Sacha Baron Cohen is racist, sexist and homophobic, but it‘s okay when it‘s him doing it for some reason. (15) 12.30, 2.00, 4.00, 6.30, 8.30

10.00, 12.30, 2.00, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00, 10.30

12.30, 2.00, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00, 10.30

Film teaming an actor you really like with an actor you can‘t stand, leaving you in two

Astral Angi

• Take a shortcut through the car park and the lifts at Somerfield on St James's Street, congratulating yourself on your ingenuity as you do so. • Being secretly offended when an attractive young woman/man standing at the entrance to Kensington Gardens with an armful of flyers for some trendy club night, deems you too square and old to bother handing you one. • Buy a Tshirt from some North Laine boutique of a Tom of Finland image, which you only wear under a jumper. • Be ushered through the labyrinthine corridors of Komedia on a Saturday night by a dozen security guards, as the crowd leaving one show jostle with the audience pouring into another, and feel like an extra in Fritz Lang‘s Metropolis. • Stare long and hard at the photographs in the window of the clairvoyant on Elm Grove to try to discern whether that bloke is Tony Curtis or Laurence Harvey.

Out • Superfresco • Slouching toward Bethlehem to be born • The World of The Bachelors Vol IV’ • Saying “A drink’s too wet without one” on offering a guest a biscuit despite the fact that the advertising campaign finished in 1981 • Root Into Europe


Remake of something you can‘t believe they made a remake of, the fact that they have leaving you open-mouthed with shock, ringing up your friends, and saying “I can‘t believe they made a remake of that” – you know, Harvey Davidson and the Marlboro man, Captain Ron, Freejack or something. (12a)

Five more things to do in Brighton before you die

• Flotex • Turning and turning in the widening gyre • The World of The Bachelors Vol III • Those stickers the BBC sent out in the late 70s showing icons for their new radio channel settings that your brother stuck on the tuner of his stereo

Brian Mitchell can be seen (and some of Joseph Nixon‘s jokes heard) in the radio show, Up Yours To The Festival! with Brian and Jerry, recorded before an audience by at The Latest Music Bar, Wed 6 May 9.30pm, Wed 13 May 7pm and Wed 20 May 9.30pm. Entrance £5/£4. Box Office 01273 709709.


This week Astral puts your life in order

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!





Aries must take time this week to put their lives in order. Sort out those tiny annoyances that you have been putting to one side and face up to a more organised future.

Cancer’s obsession with secrecy means that your private affairs remain private. However, in an emergency this can lead to no one knowing what you might want. Lighten up.

Librans are happy to please. They are less easy to please. This week you should try to be more open to others and in particular to their failings. Start making lists – of everything!

Capricorns should strive to achieve a set number of tasks every day and cross them off a list one by one as they are done. This may seem dull but it really works – honest!


LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)



Taureans already lead an ordered life, mainly ordering other people about. Now is the time for you to look inwardly and decide if you really do have any of the answers.

Leo’s thrusting and aggressive approach can lead to spontaneous actions and spontaneity can lead to disorder. However planned aggression can be quite damning so beware.

Scorpio‘s shifty and shiftless behaviour is probably best left unaccounted. After all, you never know when you might need an alibi that will not be embarrassing.

Aquarians‘ lives bask in the glory of chaos and disorder and any attempt to change that could dislodge the whole balance of the universe. Probably best to leave well alone.





Geminis need to fight the urge to keep everything in duplicate. Just because you are the twin sign does not mean that everything needs doing or saying twice. Simplify, right now.

Virgo’s puritanical stance will stand you in good stead at the day of judgement. When asked to account for yourself do not be surprised if people start to nod off and snore.

Sagis everywhere will have made lists and records of every dreary moment of their existence. Well done, now pop that in a sealed envelope and drop it in a post box, no need for an address.

Pisceans already lead an ordered life, same meals each day, same underwear from the same shop, same toothpaste, same newspaper. Why change? Carry on going to Bardsley’s.


01273 681256

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Art attack Latest 7 takes a sneak peek at this year’s Artists’ Open Houses Festival ow in its 28th year, the annual Artists’ Open Houses (AOH) Festival, which coincides with Brighton Festival, includes work by over 1,000 artists exhibiting in over 200 venues across Brighton, Hove, Saltdean, Rottingdean, Lewes, Newhaven and Ditchling. Spread over four weekends, there are plenty of properties to visit, an abundance of art to see and possibly buy, and countless opportunities to eat cake and drink tea. This year’s festival includes a diverse range of artists. Aside from the natural intrigue of being allowed to snoop round other people’s houses, viewing an artist’s work in their own living room is a much more intimate and personal experience than observing it a gallery. Many of the houses are organised into trails to make it easier to organise your visit and take in as many as possible and entry is free. Latest magazine will again sponsor the Festival Award for the Best Open House, while last year’s winner Cath Farr will exhibit at Latest Music Bar.


should the weather be more kind. Honorary Brightonian Kim’s varied sketches, prints and linocuts focus on the architecture of Brighton and Hove as well as humorous local scenes. The Glass House is at 3 Silverdale Road, off Old Shoreham Road in Hove.

Phil Cole and the Pengineers Part-time science teacher and artist Phil Cole, along with a group of art students known as the Pengineers, were chosen as last year’s runners-up for Best Open House with their

The AOH Festival covers the first four weekends of May: 2–3, 9–10, 16–17 and 23–24 May. The Artists’ Open Houses brochure will be available from late April across Brighton and Hove. For more information visit

Phil Cole’s open house is at 62 Bentham Road, off Elm Grove in Hanover.

Fern bangle by Charle High

The Glass House The Glass House in the Seven Dials trail was one of last year’s Festival highlights. The intimate property was short-listed for the Festival Award for Best Open House for its varied selection of sculpture, craft works and paintings. Homeowner and artist Kim Glass will be opening her house in Silverdale Road for the last time “for a while” and exhibiting her own collages, prints and paintings. This is alongside contemporary jewellery from Zoë Bradley and Charlie High and wooden sculptures from Helen Sinden and Anne Wood. Kim Glass promises that her house will again feature the much-loved roaring fire for visitors to dry off on wet afternoons and said that she hopes to secure some interesting woodwork for the garden –

exhibition Preparing for Emergencies. Cole’s open house examined a government leaflet on emergency preparation and included a reconstructed World War Two Anderson shelter and a secret underground cellar stocked full of supplies, as well as displays of various artwork and text relating to the central theme. For 2009 Phil Cole is hosting a familyoriented open house with the whole Cole family taking part. This year’s offering is Keep Off The Grass, an exhibition inspired by the rules and regulations that prevent us from having fun. Phil Cole said: “It came from those signs that stop you playing on the beautiful green grass and we started with that as an interesting thing to do with rules.” Visitors to 62 Bentham Road can expect to find an exhibition about the rules and regulations that govern our lives as well as an examination of environmental issues, rights and wrongs and lawbreaking. The exhibition is composed of pictures, books and what Cole describes as “a surprise in the garden.”

London Twitter by Kim Glass



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Masters of art

On the button

Dion Salvador Lloyd exhibits a solo show at Naked Eye throughout May

Chairs and designer buttons are just a few of the treats from Hove Arts

Naked Eye was established in 1999 and has built up an enviable reputation as one of Brighton’s leading commercial art galleries. Open six days a week, Naked Eye showcase the most diverse range of original paintings and limited edition prints on the market. They also offer a thriving bespoke framing service with framing carried out on site by master framer and curator, David Donno. Situated on the town‘s busiest street opposite a large brasserie, Naked Eye is the perfect place to stop off and browse. During Brighton Festival in the month of May, they are excited to be holding a solo show with Dion Salvador Lloyd, a Brighton painter of renown who paints beautiful atmospheric sea and sky scapes.

Hove Arts Open House artists open their doors on the weekend of Saturday 2 and Sunday 3 May with some surprises this year. Along with original drawings, paintings, pottery and photography, their funky trail now features glass, ceramics, textiles and even designer buttons! New girl, creative upholsterer Daisy Heyland, is also set to turn a few heads, with her unusual use of textiles, printed and painted fabrics, on a Bjorkinspired centre-piece chair. Another witty chair incorporates a men’s linen shirt within the chair back. These, plus many more original works will be premiering every weekend throughout May, with some open on both Bank Holiday Mondays. Plan your route at

Art of seduction

Trail mix

Get ready to be seduced by an erotic exhibition from Frances Duncan

Follow the trail for work from Jan Mnich and other local artists

Local artist Frances Duncan presents her new seductive fantasy erotic art exhibition, A Celebration of Human Sensuality. Taking place at The Thomas Kemp in Kemp Town, you are invited along to meet the artist while she works every weekend during the Fringe Festival in May. Fran’s work aims to seduce rather than shock the viewer being inspired by the beauty of the human form and the essence of sensuality. The exhibition will be presenting a range of pieces from originals on canvas to prints and greeting cards, meaning there is something to suit all budgets. Enjoy viewing Fran’s work throughout Brighton as she also exhibits pieces at The Sensual Woman exhibition at Tickled in Ship Street and Hourglass – The Art of the Corset exhibition at She Said in Ship Street Gardens during the festival.

Rottingdean And Downs Artists are pleased to be taking part in the Brighton Festival, being open every weekend in May with some open both Bank Holidays too. The trail includes Rottingdean, Ovingdean, Roedean, Woodingdean and Falmer and will display a spectacular variety of artwork by over 100 artists at 12 venues including St Aubyns School, the Grange Gallery and the Grange Gardens. Great sculpture will be represented as well as all types of painting, ceramics, glass, textiles, photography, fashion, jewellery and furniture – meaning there is something to interest everybody. Exhibitors include nationally recognised artists, local professionals and Sussex Guild members. This promises to be a real community event. Visitors will receive a warm welcome to the Rottingdean and Downs areas so they can enjoy the facilities available locally.

A Celebration of Human Sensuality takes place at The Thomas Kemp in Kemp Town from 2–25 May. Open daily from 12pm–8pm. Entry is free, over 18s only. For a sneak preview check out Fran’s website

Further details on the Rottingdean and Downs Artists’ trail can be found at

Photo: Dave Streeter

Naked Eye, 32 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1AF. Tel: 01273 204800.

Daisy Heyland, Spring Fever studios

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Picture perfect


Saltdean Coastal Artists host their trail in a picturesque seaside setting

The public are invited to feature in a new piece of artwork at Studio 106 Studio 106 is showcasing diverse new work by 18 professional artists at their 300m2 converted factory space in Hove’s Poets Corner. As well as meeting the artists and seeing a working studio the public are invited to join in the creation of a communal artwork, ‘1001 Faces,’ using the back of the A5 exhibition flyer and any medium: paint it; draw it; stick it; stitch it! Each ‘face’ will be sold for £5 in aid of local charity, rYico, (, who work with vulnerable young people in Rwanda. Featured artists at Studio 106 include Dan Bennett, Hong Dam, May Everett, Christina Fedyk, Grizelda, Ricki Knights, André Lichtenberg, Irene Marot, Irene Mensah, Simon Parkin, Michael Pearce, Heather Quin, Christina Reading, Henrik Simonsen, Maria Tribe and Lucianna Whittaker.

After the success of last year’s event, Saltdean Coastal Artists have decided to host their own trail for 2009. Small and friendly with five houses featured in total, there is plenty on offer including glass sculpture, textiles, jewellery, photography, paintings, garden accessories and even an architectural railway modeller. There is free, easy parking and the trail is eco-friendly too, being easily accessed on foot – a walkers‘ paradise for those wishing to cross the beautiful unspoilt Tye to visit Janet Roland’s house in Telscombe Cliffs. The warmest of welcomes awaits all visitors as well as a nice cup of tea. The Saltdean Coastal Artists’ trail is open every weekend in May including Bank Holiday Mondays. For more information visit


Offshore by Dion Salvador Lloyd

32 Western Road, Hove BN3 1AF 01273 204800

Studio 106 is open Saturdays and Sundays from 2–24 May, 11am–5pm. Studio 106, 1st Floor, 106 Coleridge St, Poets Corner, Hove, BN3 5AA, 01273 721214,



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days of headlines

Mothers who breast feed are needed to support new mums. The Brighton and Hove Children and Young People’s Trust last week launched a coordinated programme across the city to promote breast feeding as a positive everyday experience. To get involved, call 01273 290206.

Police targeted motorcyclists enjoying the good weather. Sussex Police pulled over 40 motorcyclists in a single day n Sussex, issuing verbal warnings, fixed penalty notices and seizing four bikes for traffic offences such as speeding and overtaking on double white lines.

Council officials cut in half the period of grace allowed to residents who get behind with rent. Brighton and Hove City Council began issuing arrears notices to tenants 14 days after the payment due date, instead of 30. Tenants accused them of trying to make more money. The council said the reminders were to help residents address any issues early before getting into arrears.

Marathon agreed Brighton will have its own marathon for the first time next year. The campaign to hold a full length race in the city was approved by the city council cabinet last week. The event will take place in April and is expected to bring in tens of thousands of visitors and provide a massive boost to the economy. The existing Sussex Beacon half marathon in February would act as a warm-up and is likely to attract even more runners in training for the longer race. It is hoped it will become the second biggest marathon in the UK. The proposed course covers a distance that takes in a lap of Preston Park, the Vogue Gyratory, Rottingdean, St James’s Street, Hove and New Church Road. Organisers want to use Basin Road South, or ‘Millionaire’s Row‘, in Hove, and are waiting for approval from Tom Naylor

left to right, Paul Shovlin, Dermot O‘Leary and James Ginzler

Fish for success

firms at Shoreham Harbour and the residents – who include Fatboy Slim and Nick Berry. Behind the race is the Grounded Events Company run by athletes Tim Hutchings, former Olympian and part of the London Marathon organisation team, and Tom Naylor, who owns the Run shops in Hove and Worthing. Tom said they had been planning for nearly two years and would have liked to hold the Brighton event this year. He said: “It has been a long time coming. We would have put the race on last week if we could. It does mean the 2010 race will be that much better prepared.”

As one celebrity moved out of the Brighton restaurant business, another moved in. Aldo Zilli announced he was quitting his fish restaurant at MyHotel in Jubilee Square last week. A few days later TV and Big Brother presenter Dermot O’Leary announced he and two friends were opening an eaterie called Fishy Fishy in East Street. The restaurant, which will open this June, will be run by Dermot with Paul Shovlin and James Ginzler. Dermot said: “Brighton’s a fantastic place. It’s full of interesting people, culture, the beach – I love everything about it. “I love food, I could spend hours talking about it. I wanted to be a chef, but when I’m at Fishy Fishy I’ll work front of house.”

City gets lift Brighton and Hove city council leader Mary Mears on the progress in recycling his week I’d like to answer some of the concerns about the city’s new recycling rounds. I appreciate there have been some problems with late or missed collections but I want to reassure people things are improving. Recycling rates are increasing, the amount of waste produced per household has reduced, customer satisfaction has increased significantly and the council looks set to save £1million per annum. You, the residents of our city, have never recycled so


much of your rubbish – about 28 percent of at current estimates, putting Brighton and Hove City Council among the top performing local authorities in the country. Around 98 percent of properties in the city now have a recycling service and once the new rounds are running smoothly, we expect recycling rates to improve even further. We accept in some areas of the city the new collections haven’t gone as smoothly as we would have liked. We apologise to residents and thank them for their patience. One problem is that some

people are still putting glass in with their other recycling. We have written to 10,000 households to remind them glass needs to be separated. We would ask residents to bear with us while we iron out any teething problems from changing the service for the 114,000 households in the city. We’d like to remind them recycling is not only beneficial to the environment but will bring huge savings for the taxpayer.

Before I sign off, I’d like to share with readers my absolute delight to see the council has got the Madeira Lift working again. It’s a real tourist attraction and one of the features that makes Brighton and Hove unique. Caring for the city’s Victorian heritage is one of the ways we can attract investment from day-trippers and holidaymakers. And that’s something that should really give the city a lift!



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News Phil Mills reports on the three-year Southern Water project to renew water mains

Final countdown ong-suffering motorists and pedestrians who have endured three years of road works will be relieved to learn that the £15.5 million three-year Southern Water project to renew the ageing Victorian water mains in Brighton has moved into its final phase. Queen Victoria was the reigning monarch when the cast iron mains were installed beneath the city’s streets. Despite regular maintenance, the time came for them to be replaced with stronger, plastic pipes which are less likely to burst. Southern Water scheduled to replace 56.6km of mains and communication pipes – these are the pipes which run from the mains to properties – between June 2006 and December 2009. The company is also replacing 900 of the city’s fire hydrants with 450 strategically-placed super-hydrants to give the city a 21st century fire protection system. Before the work started, the team discovered that many of the properties in Hove have additional pipework from their homes which lead straight to the sea. Bob Lennard, Southern Water’s special projects manager, said: “In the 1800s, the large properties in areas like Grand Avenue and First Avenue were originally used as sanatoriums for the mentally ill. “Back then, it was thought these people could be cured by bathing in seawater. They didn’t want to traipse all the patients to the beach, so they used to pump seawater straight into the houses.” More findings revealed class divisions of the time. In Victorian times, wealthy homeowners did not want to drink water that was


“Inevitably there will be some disruption during this work, but we do try to keep it to a minimum”

supplied from the same pipes as their servants, so many old homes have two sets of pipes leading to them. Some streets in Hove have three water mains with a fire hydrant at the end of each one. The extra pipes were installed after the bombing of Guernica during the Spanish civil war in 1937. Bob said: “Guernica was the first place to get carpet bombed, and the aldermen of Brighton reviewed the town and realised if the same were to happen here, we would be unprepared. “So, they put in the additional mains which meant there would be more fire hydrants.” However, they only did this in Hove, which, at the time, was the more affluent area.” Four months before work began, a key stakeholder liaison group, including representatives from trade and residential associations was created. The group meets monthly to discuss the work in advance to make any necessary amendments and to link with other organisations to establish if work can be carried out at the same time as well as communication plans to ensure residents, traders and councillors are aware of all the plans. As part of the communication plan for the scheme, the Southern Water project team gave a presentation to MPs in the House of Commons about the project before it began and met with city councillors. In addition to this, 18,000 scheme brochures were sent to residents and 23,601 people received fliers about the scheme. Thousands of Frequently Asked Questions sheets were also distributed to affected customers. To date, almost 23,000 advanced warning notices have been delivered to traders and residents ahead of the works we have carried out in each street. Bob said: “Inevitably there will be some disruption during this work, but we do try to keep this to a minimum. We also want to thank the residents and traders of the city who have been so patient during our work. “We have worked in partnership with other utilities where possible in order to minimise future inconvenience. This can currently be seen in North Road, where we are working jointly with Southern Gas Networks to install a large diameter gas main at the same time as the new water mains.” The company expects to complete the water main work in North Road this summer. With minor works across the city happening at the same time, to enable the full connectivity of the new mains network, the whole project is anticipated to be completed several months ahead of the original end date of December 2009.



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LETTERS | SPORT 19 Thanks for support Myself and the team from Aurah Events would like to thank everyone who was involved in The Contemporary Art Auction on Wednesday 22 April. The evening was a roaring success making much money and raising awareness for Rockinghorse children’s charity. We would like to say a huge thank you to all the artists involved: Alex Binnie; Richard Box; Graham Carter; Jennifer Roberts; Amy Douglas; Richard Townsend and Tristan Copeland. Without their fantastic pieces of artwork that they donated to the cause we would not have been able to go ahead. We would also like to say a big thank you to The Basement, which donated the venue and was the perfect setting. A massive thank you also needs to be given to Lady James who was our auctioneer. We would also like to thank all the performers: The Iron Boot Scrapers and The VAVAVAVOOM Burlesque Dancers. We would also like to thank Infinity Foods for generously supplying us with food for the occasion; Hollis Curtis for supplying us with such amazing cupcakes; the Mayor of Brighton; and Lesley Bevan for all the invaluable support she gave with the planning for the event. We raised over £1,500 for Rockinghorse and we would like to say a big thank you to them for all the support and help they have given us over the past six months. Helen Bell, Brighton University



Latest Sport Roundups and rumblings from the Latest Sport bunker

One last push Out of the trenches and over the top we go says Latest Sport’s Peter Knight ight. Fate is in our own hands. We’ve battled to survive until this point and now we’ve one more game to go. With all the fight, spirit and will within us, as the twelfth man shouting from the stands with our passions burning like fuel in the engine of the team, we’ll do this. We’ll kick every ball with the lads, jump for every header, revolt against every wrong decision, feel every crunching tackle the boys will endure until the end; standing, running, fighting alongside them on the Withdean turf. And so, with one last massive effort this Saturday, we’ll be celebrating like champions – as though we’ve just won promotion and all the trophies on Earth. Perhaps we might storm onto the pitch to raise and carry ourselves onto shoulders like heroes. Like Gary Hart’s fight back from injury and the fringes epitomising the very struggle that’s being fought in this campaign.


“Like Gary Hart’s fight back epitomising the very struggle that’s being fought”

Prisoner exhibition The Jubilee Library is hosting an exhibition from Friday 1 until Sunday 31 May portraying the biographies of 22 former prisoners at Dachau concentration camp. Each biography – compiled not by professional historians, but by mainly secondary school pupils and university students – reveals a very different story. The reasons for internment were many: ethnic, political, religious, and the prisoners hailed from countries far beyond Germany‘s borders. However, one thing they all had in common was that on arrival at Dachau concentration camp they were turned into a number. The exhibition is an extension of The Dachau Book of Remembrance, a work-in-progress collection of biographies of former prisoners at Dachau. This project strives to remember the individual fates of prisoners and thus give them back some of their dignity. Further it enables its young participants compiling the biographies to learn more about the history of National Socialism by talking to survivors and their families and conducting research in the archives at the Dachau Memorial Site. The inauguration of the exhibition takes place on Tuesday 5 May at 5pm and is open to all. For more information email or Christina Nicholson

 Send your letters or comments to:  You can also send to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

Slade’s enormous impact, and his strengthening of the team ethic during his short yet significant time at the helm – so far, should be rewarded with a contract for next year. He has so much promise. He’s gelling together a team built on the youthful backbone that has always had so much promise, a set up developed much by Dean Wilkins success at the club. Tommy Elphick, Tommy Fraser, Doug Loft, and the positive return to the field made by Adam Hinshelwood, lays a basis for a better season to come having already been a big part of the backbone that has pulled us out of the drop zone. And that campaign is already psychologically underway with the impressive improvement at the end of this one, grabbing the team by the scruff of the neck upwards. And now there’s just one more game to go. Many will be sick with anticipation this Saturday against Stockport if the weekend games just past us haven’t already secured our survival. With one ear pressed hard against the radio reports from other grounds around the country, goal line, seat edge, make or break moments we’ll cover our eyes to with nerves, waiting for the final whistle on this rollercoaster ride to end. But we wouldn’t give this painful yet rewarding solidarity and togetherness up for the world. We spend so much of our time, effort and money on our love for this beautiful game, built by us for us to endure the twists and shared common glory, a narrow opportunity for us to vent our passion and our anger built up throughout the working week. We wouldn’t give up this up. We’re Albion fans. Now, let’s go and do it. Together. Up the Albion!



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latest hot


Sam’s of Brighton

Restaurants British and modern European Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256.

Birdcage Walk The place to relax, eat good, fresh food and enjoy a drink: latte, glass of wine or a beer. A grown-up bistro with a laid back atmosphere, where you can enjoy a night out without having to shout above music and a place to nurse your hangover with a big breakfast or Sunday lunch. Head chef Toby Humphreys (ex Gingerman) has designed a modern European menu – with a menu change every six weeks enabling an up-to-date selection of seasonal dishes. 300 Ditchling Rd, Fiveways, Brighton, BN1 6JG, 01273 561757

Chimney House Recently opened with a stylish and cosy new interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu, includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a bowl of soup and glass of wine at lunchtime or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton, BN1 5DF, 01273 556708

Chilli Pickle

Seattle Restaurant This breathtaking restaurant, upstairs at Seattle Hotel, has great views and the best seasonal, local produce and locally-caught fish. Food is unpretentious modern British, by top chef David Edward, who has worked with chefs like Gordon Ramsay. The restaurant is family-friendly. Head to the Seattle Bar for coffee, afternoon tea, cocktails or a night cap. It’s near Seattle Hotel – or spend £75 in the restaurant on Sunday night, and you stay over for free! Brighton Marina, Brighton. Call 01273 679799,

French New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine. A hidden gem and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu of two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays, and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday. À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6–10pm. 10–11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

Preston Park Tavern


A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this familyfriendly pub – a hidden gem, which has remained busy through word of mouth. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF. 01273 542271

Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day and an AngloFrench cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868,

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant serving excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. From a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game and desserts, and a wine list full of affordable treats. Use the terrace when the weather is warm or the dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555

Sam’s of Brighton Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222,

Indian The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of the old lanes. The food is regional Indian cuisine executed at the highest level. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food as well as a good selection of thalis and the everpopular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a well chosen wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824

Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside –

two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477,

Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

Japanese Moshi Moshi Voted both by the Independent and the BBC as one of the top 50 restaurants in the UK and described by The Times as having a “fanatical following”, Moshi Moshi has become one of the leading restaurants on the South Coast. Known for its fresh, handmade sushi and authentic approach to hot Japanese dishes, Moshi Moshi is located in the heart of the Lanes. Become a Moshi member online and get special discounts and offers. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Moshi Moshi, Opticon, The Lanes, Bartholomew Square, Brighton, 01273 719195

Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi or just relax. In Kemp Town Village, just off St George’s Road and College Road. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150

021_LS421_Dymanic Yoga


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NOW WITH VIRTUAL STUDIO TOUR The studio incorporates a fantastic new ‘state of the art’ fresh oxygenated heating ventilation system.

Class duration: 90 minutes

Stuart offers a completely unique style of yoga. “My yoga is not just mechanical yoga, it is based on aligning your mind and spine with this magnificent universe.”

7 Video testimonals on the website.




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latest listings

 YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO WHAT’S ON 28 APRIL – 4 MAY  Under review Here’s our roundup of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at Toby Whithouse

Doves Go back to the post-Madchester era with rave-inspired backdrops at gigs featuring grainy Super-8 footage of fleeting countryside, shot judderingly from a train and you have Doves. Tonight the mood is one of fuzzy nostalgia and the songs meld mellifluously into one another save the standout tracks such as ‘There Goes The Fear’, a stonker which has a scintillating video of Shane Meadows-like urbanity honing in on feral kids probably shot somewhere like Rusholme rather than Somerstown.

★★★✩✩ Victoria Nangle


Knock Knock Comedy It was a topsy turvy night in this jewel of a comedy venue, with host James Acaster guiding us through the night like a best mate at your first

chuckle-worthy set, and we got the bonus of a couple of short sets from comedy bankers Robin Buckland and Seann Walsh. Headliner Trevor Lock seemed a bit lost, with a good stage manner but material that focussed too much on human biology. Lovely build up, shame about the finale. Caroline of Brunswick, April 9

The Brighton Dome, April 16

Jan Goodey

disco – heaps of fun, yet reassuring too. Tom Deacon opened with some original and funny thoughts, followed by an engaging Andy Bryant and a fresh yet dry Chris Pacey. Toby Whithouse provided a thoroughly likeable and

Hot review of the week

British Sea Power: Man of Aran Having spent time on the Aran Isles it was going to be fascinating to see BSP score this 30s docu-drama Man Of Aran. The visceral power of the monstrous seas on the west coast of Ireland took up the majority of black and white footage; power matched by the tidal surges of the music featuring keyboards, guitar, strings and baleful mournings. A mother and son are seen alternately fishing, farming and anxiously watching the treacherous spume deliver up their menfolk from a gruesome expedition to bring home basking shark. A truly unique experience – who other than BSP could have conceived such a conceit? Occasionally heavyhanded, but worth staying up past bedtime for. Duke of York’s April 18

★★★✩✩ The Prodigy New rave. Old rave. Same old rave? Hard to believe that Liam, Keith and Maxim are still at it, pushing forty, but banging it out as hard and as energetically as ever, and possibly more popular than ever thanks to their wicked new album Invaders Must Die. The Centre was packed with ravers old and new, throwing shapes and lapping up the maelstrom of beats and breaks, and the punk attitude. Maxim overdid it with the shouts and expletives, and the distortion drowned out some of the 'subtleties' of the records, but overall it was a celebration of the incredibly deep catalogue that the band have produced over the last two decades. Brighton Centre, 15 April


Graham Coxon, p41

Jeff Hemmings

Jan Goodey Australian Pink Floyd The annual Aussie Pink Floyd nostalgia trip down memory lane is a beautiful experience. Just sit back, beer in hand, and get comfortably numbed. Would be easy to mock, but I ain’t gonna. Highly talented technicians, recreating a time and a place for the real fans because the real thing – EMI’s second largest global act – couldn’t quite get it together. There’s no posing, no prancing, no fuss. All ten band members on stage could quite easily be sat next to you, mouthing the words and nodding along. And what would the Floyd have given for those lasers? Brighton Centre, April 18

35 Stage Stars of A View From The Bridge speak

36 Film Russell Crowe on his new film State of Play

38 Comedy With Matthew Crosby from Pappy’s Fun Club

38 Art Selectors’ Choice at the Artists’ Open Houses

39 Kids & events The annual Children’s Parade is here

39 Books Literary highlights in the upcoming Festival

40 Music Drookit Dogs on their namesake and music

4 3 Clubs Highlights of the week

44 Gay Take a stroll through Brighton’s gay past

46 Television Dani gets addicted to Hell’s Kitchen plus seven days of listings

★★★★★ Paul Clark

 For complete and comprehensive listings go to



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Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Hayley Atwell talk to Andrew Kay about A View From The Bridge hilst Ken Stott gives a breathtaking performance as Eddie in Arthur Miller’s A View From The Bridge, it is brilliantly underpinned by Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Hayley Atwell. The roles are complex, demanding and without them being utterly convincing Stott would be operating in an emotional void. I met with the seasoned Mastrantonio and relative newcomer Atwell prior to them going on stage, and talked to them about the process of creating their performances.


Was there a moment when you thought ‘I’ve signed up to do something brilliant here?’ Hayley: I knew that the script was brilliant. In rehearsals though, it is quite a dangerous thing to say ‘this is actually amazing’. Mary Elizabeth: You have to try and figure out why it is amazing. It is an actor’s piece, the actors are going at it, not even talking in and among ourselves, but just going at it and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio trying to figure out ‘is she going to Cha Cha or Tango; is he a rugby player or a ballerina?‘ You don’t know so you try and figure out who everybody is. Hayley: It’s true, Lindsay, the director, observed and contained the space for us to play, to go on a tangent here or this direction there. When approaching a part from a character’s point of view it is important not to comment on the character, the minute you do you become the third eye and you start to look at what you are doing self consciously, and at the piece self consciously, in reality people don’t live their lives this way. Mary Elizabeth: Yeah, especially these characters. They just get on with it; they don’t have time to sit thinking. They don’t even have time to reflect or be philosophical. They are practical. They have to survive. Hayley: Also, there’s no foul language. As a consequence everyone is beautifully flushed out because they haven’t been truncated by swear words. They express themselves simply, but fully.

Stage listings

Visit for complete theatre listings over the festival period.

Tuesday 28 April to Monday 11 May Brighton Dome 01273 709709 Timon of Athens Shakespeare’s play produced in an innovative style, performed by Sussex Downs College students. • 28 Apr, 7pm, £6/4 A Midsummer’s Night Dream Part of Sussex Down’s College Shakespeare Festival. • 29 Apr, 7pm, £6/4 Ashes Dancers, performers and acrobats play out an inquiry into the concept of impermanence • 2–4 May, 8pm, £7.50–£18.50 Cocteau in the Underworld New opera from University of Sussex-based composer Ed Hughes • 4 May, 9pm, £4 The Oyster Princess Belgian avant big band Flat Earth Society perform Peter Vermeesch’s live score to Ernst Lubitsch’s 1919 silent movie. • 6 May, 8pm, £18/6 Aphasiadisiac Stoffer’s quintet of dancers

explore the language of love.. • 6–7 May, 8pm, £12.50/10 Handel: Arianna in Creta Handel’s opera on the myth of Ariadne (Arianna). • 9 May, 7pm, £10–30 From Here I Can Almost See Performer Charlie Morrissey on the act of performance – the process of seeing and being seen. • 11 May, 9pm, £4

The Capitol, Horsham 01403 750220 Pirates of Penzance Gilbert and Sullivan’s comic opera with pirates, police and maidens. • 28 Apr–2 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Sat, from £12 Write Me A Murder A tale of two brothers who inherit a fortune. One, a would-be thriller writer, starts to concoct the perfect crime. • 7–9 May, 7.30pm, £18/16.50

Do you enjoy stage more than film? Mary Elizabeth: It depends on the film and depends on the live stage. I feel that film is like running on a treadmill, and live stage is running a marathon. It’s all up to the actor. Film is demanding in a different way, but it is a little cushier because it has been put together at another time, so you work really hard on the day and then kiss that scene goodbye. Hayley: There is something fulfiling about the curtain going up and that is it, you are having an experience and you are taking people on this journey with you. And you are in much more control which has compared to being on film which I think is easier. You become part of a system which has a bigger hierarchy than theatre which feels like a lot more team work. Does the press response matter to you? Mary Elizabeth: I think critics in the UK probably see much more theatre than on Broadway. They are less effusive in their praise but less harmful in their criticism, that’s the way theatre survives. Audiences come to the theatre because they want to be entertained as well as to be challenged and intellectually stimulated. Hayley: Yeah. You realise that most of the people are coming to see a story, not necessarily to critique the production. Theatre is escapism – and it is a fantasy world where you become engaged in something else. Mary Elizabeth: Everyone has to participate. You have to realise that as an audience member you have to participate. Don’t come just to sit there because you are part of it. We are giving and you are giving back and in that exchange is where the alchemy is. A View From The Bridge, Theatre Royal, New Road, Brighton. Tuesday 19 May to Saturday 23 May. Box Office 08700 606650 (booking fee)

Talking Heads Amateur production based on the BBC popular series of monologues. • 7–9 May, Studio, 7.30pm, £10/9 Cinderella European Ballet The enchanting fairytale told through a ballet performance. • 10 May, 4pm and 7.30pm, £11-18

Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 Trial By Jury & HMS Pinafore Double bill by the comic opera duo Gilbert and Sullivan. • 5–9 May, 7.30pm plus Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £14/13/12

Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 Taking Sides The story of a conductor Wilhelm Furtwängler who becomes the perfect post-war target for interrogations as a Nazi sympathiser. • 28 Apr–16 May, contact venue for times/£ Collaboration Partner piece to Taking Sides, exploring the artistic partnership between a writer and composer in 1931. • 1–16 May, contact venue for show times/£

Theatre Royal

Eastbourne: Congress Theatre

Worthing: Connaught Theatre

01323 412000 Shaolin Warriors Spectacular theatrical Kung Fu show direct from China. • 29 Apr, 7.30pm, £19.50/17.50/15.50

01323 206206 Billy Liar An Undertaker’s clerk daydreams of a fantasy life outside his dull Yorkshire town. • 5–9 May, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed and 2.30pm Sat, £13–22

08700 606650 Seven Brides for Seven Brothers Set in 1850, the tale of an eldest brother in search of a wife. Dazzling dance routines and hit songs. • 28 Apr–2 May, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat..various £, please contact the venue. Breaking News UK premiere of ‘reality theatre’ from German collective Rimini Protokoll. • 7–9 May, 7.30pm, various £

Photo: Catherine Ashmore

Female touch

It’s a very intense script, is it draining? Mary Elizabeth: Yes, but it gives back. Some scripts are good but you have to really tie yourself to the wheel, to steer a little bit every night, otherwise it won’t take care of itself. We do go to extremes as it is very emotional, very passionate. You can feel that you are building to some kind of crescendo, some kind of climax, the play really does Hayley Atwell take you along with it but it requires a kick, you don’t want to be off your game. Hayley: When it becomes comfortable it becomes dangerous.



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BRIGHTON FESTIVAL 25 les ballets C de la B Aphasiadisiac

Festival city Andrew Comben, chief executive, Brighton Dome and Festival, welcomes you to the 2009 programme


Hugh Fox

his weekend sees the start of the 43rd Brighton Festival and a new direction with Anish Kapoor in place as guest artistic director. The creation of the role has given our team of programmers various jumping off points to link up the programme across art forms. Our programmers touch on some of these themes within these pages. Kapoor will be making his mark on Brighton throughout the Festival with new commissions at The Old Municipal Market and The Basement with existing works exhibited at Fabrica, in the Pavilion Gardens and near The Chattri on the South Downs.

“Artists from around the world descend on Brighton this May” Brighton Festival has a reputation for commissioning new work. This year is no exception, with two new pieces by the Hofesh Shechter Company and an outdoor installation by Walk the Plank in Queens Park. The Festival continues to use unusual venues and spaces across the city with a Festival commissioned production of Joe Orton’s The Erpingham Camp, presented on Brighton Pier, and Reial Companyia de

Teatre de Catalunya perform a play about the real life of a roadside prostitute – at a secret location. Artists from around the world descend on Brighton this May, Diamanda Galás, Antony and the Johnsons from New York; les ballets C de la B and Flat Earth Society from Belgium and Orquesta Aragón from Cuba, to name but a few. 26 Letters, the children’s literature festival, returns with Michael Morpurgo; Danish company Teater Patrasket arrive with Wireless, a playful show of mime and clowning; and Shakespeare’s Globe on Tour perform The Comedy of Errors in St Nicholas’ Rest Garden. This year’s Festival has events for everyone, from the serious and profound to the fun and frivolous. There are many muchloved artists returning to Brighton this May and many newcomers to the UK. I hope you will come and join us for some serious fun! | ticket office: 01273 709709

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Blood Stick 2008 Resin and Pigment 140x1020x134cm

C_Curve 2007 stainless steel 2.2x7.7x3m installation | ticket office: 01273 709709

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On Anish Kapoor “Anish has been central to the whole process. From the very start we talked about ideas – artistic and philosophical – that seem to come up again and again in his work. I think you can find a connection, sometimes subtle, sometimes obvious, between every event in the Festival and a work of Anish’s. It has been a huge privilege to work so closely with him.“ Andrew Comben – Chief executive “To have a guest artistic director working with the Festival is a great idea and this is the first time we've ever worked with a visual artist. Anish is particularly inspiring as he speaks so exceptionally eloquently about his work. It's been really interesting and inspiring to work around his themes and ideas some of which are reflected really directly in the classical programme.“ Gill Kay – Classical music programmer “I’m excited about seeing the sculptures Sky Mirror in Pavilion Gardens and C-Curve at The Chattri up on the downs. I’m also going to see On Art and Science which should prove to be a fascinating debate with Anish Kapoor and Marcus du Sautoy. There’s quite a strong focus on illustrators in this year’s 26 Letters which feels appropriate with a high profile visual artist as guest artistic director.“ Hilary Cooke – 26 Letters programmer “I have been influenced most by these words from Anish himself: ‘The work itself has a complete circle of meaning and counterpoint. And without your involvement as a viewer, there is no story.‘ In other words I believe that everything we put on is in some way made complete by the audience and what each audience member brings to the party.“ Pippa Smith – Children and family programmer “Anish’s presence has been felt from the start – the music programme contains brave choices like Diamanda Galás with Erik Friedlander or Ted Milton ruminating on Daniil Kharms. There is an indirect influence because this sort of music is more about thinking and context. I’m particularly looking forward to both C-Curve at The Chattri and Dismemberment of Jeanne d’Arc in The Old Municipal Market.“ Guy Morley – Music and dance programmer

Sky Mirror 2006 stainless steel 10 x 10 x 2m

“Some of the themes in Kapoor’s work have been the springboard for specific events. For example: his fascination with the role of myth prompted me to invite Mary Beard and Marina Warner to discuss not just myth but the current popularity of books on Ancient Greek and Roman history. And within the Books & Debate programme, there are two panels discussions (curated by Fabrica) that explore two other Kapoor themes, barbarism and the importance of zero to all cultures.“ Liam Browne – Books and debate programmer

In OutRed (2008 resin and paint 57x244x126cm)

Blood Relations in collaboration with Salman Rushdie | ticket office: 01273 709709



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Books & Debate Highlights

Write here

Joan Bakewell & Roberta Taylor Friday 8 May, 8pm, £8, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome

Liam Browne – Books and debates programmer, on this year’s Festival he major difficulty in programming a debate for the Festival is identifying a theme that will still be topical in six or nine months time. It has to be a subject that will not have disappeared from the public consciousness come May, equally it can't be a subject that people have grown sick and tired of hearing about. Hopefully we have found two topics this year that will make for exciting and provocative debates. The first arises out of the seemingly endless cycle of wars, genocide and atrocities that we hear about every day in the media. And quite often in those reports someone will express bewilderment that such acts are still happening today, as if there is some essential conviction that we human beings should be better than we currently are. And that’s the nub of the debate, are we fooling ourselves if we believe that the human race has made moral and ethical leaps forward over the centuries? (Sunday 10 May, 5pm, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome). The other debate, programmed just before Barack Obama was sworn in as president, counterpoises the high expectations of his presidency against the enormous economic and social problems that afflict the U.S. Can

Faber and Faber 80th Birthday Poetry Event – Alice Oswald & Tom Paulin Sunday 10 May, 2.30pm, £8 Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome


Alaa al Aswany

Loops with Paul Morley, Simon Armitage & Colin Greenwood Sat 16 May, 4pm, £10 Thistle Hotel

Rachel Cusk

Kamila Shamsie & Gavin Esler Sunday 17 May, 3.30pm, £8 Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome

“This year’s debates will be very deliberately adversarial” he arrest the decline? The twentieth century was the American century but was that the peak of its influence worldwide? (Saturday 23 May, 7.30pm, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome). This year‘s debates will be very deliberately adversarial; there will be two speakers on each side and the audience will vote at the end on whether or not the motion has been passed. The debaters are all brilliant, experienced public speakers, well versed in the cut and thrust of argument and counterargument. With the likes of Mark Malloch Brown, former deputy

Reflections on Barbarism Homi Bhabha and Anish Kapoor Monday 18 May, 8pm, £8 Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome Sarah Hall & Rachel Cusk Wednesday 20 May, 8pm, £8 Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome

Homi K Bhabha

secretary general of the UN, philosopher John Gray, novelist Howard Jacobson and philanthropist and publisher Sigrid Rausing (to name just a few) the debates promise to be challenging, provocative and fascinatingly unpredictable.

Barbarism – The Blood of Others with Jake Chapman, Joanna Burke, Edith Hall & Fiachra Gibbons Friday 22 May, 5.30pm, £8 Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome

Melvyn Bragg

Melvyn Bragg: Autobiography and Fiction Friday 22 May, 8.30pm, £8 Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome Sheila Hancock

Sheila Hancock and Kate Mosse Sunday 24 May, 2.30pm, £8 Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome

Tom Paulin | ticket office: 01273 709709

Alice Oswald

Zero the Hero – Why Nothing is Really Something Sunday 24 May, 5pm, £8 Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome



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Young at heart Pippa Smith, Children and family programmer and Hilary Cooke, 26 Letters programmer, talk about events for kids and families in the Festival Hilary: This year for the first time we have a guest artistic director, Anish Kapoor; has this had any impact on your programme – the Children’s Parade for instance? Pippa: Quite simply it influenced the theme. When we looked at Anish’s work it seemed that the elements would make a very good connection. So the theme of this year’s Children’s Parade is the elements: earth, air, fire and water. Hilary: Sounds like it will be as colourful as ever! What about the other outdoor events this year, I don’t know much about Hubbert’s Peak, you saw that in Great Yarmouth didn’t you? Pippa: I did, the set is fantastic, there are all these strange vehicles and you know they are going to work even though they are very weird. The show has an ecological message behind it and tells the story of one family’s quest to track down the last litre of petrol! Hilary: I quite fancy that, especially as it’s free! Which other of your events go into the family section? Pippa: I like the idea of families coming along to things together so I like to programme with that in mind. I think it’s great to attend, particularly with teenagers, something like Shakespeare’s Globe, as an outdoor event that apart from being good for their souls can also contribute to their GCSEs. This will definitely be a lot of fun.

Hubberts Peak

Hilary: What about the Wireless show? From what you said it appeals to a whole range of ages, is that right? Pippa: Yes, it is a charming show that is all music and movement and it’s so easy to understand – whatever your age. If you’re four you are going to laugh at the lady with the watering can and if you’re 84 you’re going to be bemused that you find it funny watching five people move chairs around the floor! So what about 26 Letters, how do you decide what goes into the programme each year? Hilary: I am looking for a balance of different events for different ages, so this year we have got events for children as young as two right up to teenagers and even a couple of adults events. I also look for a balance between men and women, and a balance between famous authors like Michael Morpurgo and Malorie Blackman and then upcoming authors like Patrick Ness who I think deserve a wide audience and the festival is ideal for that sort of platform. Pippa: I read about Reading Pictures which sounds brilliant. Hilary: Yes, it will be a lovely event, it’s with Chris Fisher, who the night before is going to be at The Illustrators Evening, he will be Wireless

creating a story with ideas from the audience who are seven years and up, and he’ll be drawing it. It’s a wonderful way into a story, instead of starting with the words you start with the pictures. Getting back to the education side of the programme what can you tell me about Hofesh Shechter’s Bangers and Mash? Pippa: It is my top tip for the Festival this year, it’s moved, from the seafront to Brighton Dome’s Concert Hall and it’s going to be an incredible rock’n’roll, dance gala. It’s not a young people’s sketch show where everyone does a bit of dancing and parents clap politely. It will be a real rock show with 200 young people from across the region. And best of all, it’s a night out, and it’s free! Hilary: Have you got any other recommendations? What about going up to The Chattri? Pippa: Oh yes! I’m excited about that. The idea of being able to go up to The Chattri with a picnic and see Anish Kapoor’s C-Curve, I just can’t wait to see what it will look like. I’m not quite sure what it will reflect, whether it will just be the panorama or the sky, but it will make a really exciting family day out. Hilary: I expect Anish Kapoor will know what will be reflected.

Children’s Parade 2 May from 10.30am Hubbert’s Peak 9 – 10 May, 9pm The Comedy of Errors 22-24 May, various times Wireless 8-10 May, various times Michael Morpurgo 9 May, 11am Malorie Blackman 9 May, 3pm Patrick Ness 10 May, 12 noon Reading Pictures 9 May, 10am Illustrators Evening 8 May, 7.30pm

Pippa: I expect he will! | ticket office: 01273 709709



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Rhythm king Guy Morley, Brighton Festival’s music and dance programmer, on what thrills await in 2009 uy Morley is the Brighton Festival music and dance programmer, each year putting together a carefully balanced menu of exciting events to provoke, inspire and entertain the Festival’s audiences. Working alongside Gill Kay, who we interviewed recently about her role in programming the classical music content, he was fast to confirm that this year he had had the same experience as Gill. Working with incoming chief executive Andrew Comben who has in Guy’s words: ‘‘Made a careful play to build the team and share ideas as well as draw new people in’’. He too has been involved in working with Anish Kapoor, this year‘s guest artistic director. ‘‘Over the years I have met Anish many times. I met him when he was working with Akram Khan and Nitin Sawney. In fact we once met on the steps of the Unitarian Chapel for premiere of Kaash, that was in 2002. Guy had no formal training as an arts’ programmer nor has he an arts degree: ‘‘I got here through a passion. I promoted gigs and clubs for years. I was always interested in contemporary dance and saw and was impressed by both Michael Clarke and DV8. It goes back to me seeing The Fall with Michael Clarke and that was a great influence for me. ‘‘I moved to Brighton to programme the re-opening of Brighton Dome after the major refurbishment under Chris Baron and that was when I built up my ongoing relationship with the dance world. ‘‘All but one of Akram Khan’s pieces have been performed at the Brighton Dome and he has produced work on all of our stages. We are now building a similar relationship with Hofesh Shechter and his company who are resident company at Brighton Dome. That kind of relationship is a year round thing and not something that happens just during the Festival.


les ballets C de la B Aphasiadisiac

Hofesh Shechter Company The Art of Not Looking Back

Hofesh Shechter Company: Cult

Hofesh Shechter Company In Your Rooms

“Morley is clearly a man who sees no boundaries in his remit” ‘‘Audiences are changing for contemporary dance and certainly audience development has worked.’’ The use of contemporary music from a wide range of sources including dance and club music has certainly played a part in this too. “With Brighton Festival it’s really about sensible programming from stable mainstream companies to the more adventurous and experimental. One of this year’s dance highlights will be les ballets C de la B. A much more physical theatre form this year rather than the usual contemporary dance style. They are now one of the leading European companies and Koen Augustijnen’s Ashes is a co-commission by Brighton Festival. ‘‘Ted Stoffer, originally with Rambert, has now moved into a choreographic role with les ballets C de la B and Aphasiadisiac is a piece about the tongue tied inarticulacy of love. ‘‘Local dance maker Charlie Morrisey is giving us one of four showcase Platform events – it’s an opportunity for local companies to develop work and part of a the Festival’s commitment to regional artists. ‘‘This year there has been a move back to working as a team and all that is very good. The new format of the brochure has also meant that people read it from start to finish rather than simply turning to things that they know they would like.’’ So with music where do you start? “Well it is very hard to do with ten or twelve events. Antony and Johnsons is going to be huge. He played here with Lou Reed in the Festival a few years back and stole the show with an amazing rendition of Reed’s Perfect Day. ‘‘Diamanda Galás is an extraordinary Greek singer with a huge vocal range. She worked on tracks for Derek Jarman’s film The Last of England and her work crosses over lots of different worlds | ticket office: 01273 709709



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MUSIC 31 Group Doueh and Omar Souleyman

Guy Morley picks out some of his Festival highlights Diamanda Galás and Erik Friedlander Sat 2 May 8pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome In Kharms Way, Ted Milton and Sam Britton Fri 8 May, 9pm & Sat 9 May, 1pm Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome

Diamanda Galás

In Kharms Way

Orchestra Aragón & Mose Fan Fan & Bayeke Rumba OK Tue 11 May 8pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome

musically. Songs of Exile, is quite a political show, and it is just her and a piano. ‘‘Musicians are far more interested in visual presentation today, far more than a three colour wash of lights. Ted Milton, punk saxophonist, will be a very visual show – he should be an actor. And it is only 50 minutes long, perfect for an insight into 1920s absurdist poetry. I am thrilled that this year the Pavilion theatre is being used more in the evening and it is a space that we will be developing. ‘‘A collaboration called the Willkommen Collective will be staging three events on Saturday nights across the festival, they are emblematic of what is happening locally, they promise to be exciting.’’ Morley is clearly a man who sees no boundaries in his remit to programme music and dance and that open-spirited approach has yet again provide the Festival with a series of events that will be exciting, thought provoking, sometimes challenging but always of the highest possible calibre.

Willkommen Collective

Antony and the Johnsons Thur 21 May 8pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome les ballets C de la B – Ashes (Koen Augustijnen) Sat-Mon 2-4 May 8pm Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome les ballets C de la B – Aphasiadisiac (Ted Stoffer) Weds & Thur 6-7 May 8pm Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome From here I can almost see – Charlie Morrissey Mon 11 May 9pm Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome

Orchestra Aragon

The Art of Not Looking Back – Hofesh Shechter Company Thur & Fri 14-15 8pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome C-Curve Anish Kapoor Throughout the Festival 24 hours, South Downs near The Chattri John Adams: Harmonium – Brodsky Quartet, Royal Philharmonic Orchestra with Brighton Festival Chorus Thur 7 May 8pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome

Antony and the Johnsons

Rimini Protokoll – Breaking News – A daily news show Thur 7 – Sat 9 May 7.30pm Theatre Royal Guardian debate – The US as a Super Power is in long-term decline. Sat 23 May 7.30pm Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome

And what links them I’ve always been interested in the way we see the world – not only as individuals but also collectively. C-Curve is inspiring – situated on the South Downs – looking at The Chattri monument – it turns the world upside down. It will reflect our own City and you if you visit it. This piece informs our own feelings – but also reflects the wider world. The world turned upside down, sexuality, dispossession are brought to us through Diamanda Galás, Antony and the Johnsons, and les ballets C de la B. John Adams an American archetype whose inspirations are as wide as the US landscape to our view on the world being refracted and fractured our manipulating media and news. Bayeke and Rumba OK with Aragón tell the story of how African music was transported through slavery to the Americas and re-imported centuries later. Finally – if we can’t laugh at the absurdity of it all we’re lost. So I recommend you see In Kharms Way – the mesmerising work of a 1920s Russian absurdist who fell foul of the Bolsheviks.

Summer of Dub Begna Pic: Shaun Bloodworth

5 Squared Andy Sheppard

C-Curve Anish Kapoor

John Adams

Rimini Protocol – Breaking News | ticket office: 01273 709709



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On the money Brighton Festival 2009’s sponsors talk about the event they are backing this year and why they get involved Brighton Festival is dependent upon the generous support of all its funders, partners, sponsors and supporters. We would like to take this opportunity to thank all those individuals and organisations whose sponsorship and donations have made the 2009 Brighton Festival possible. Brighton Festival is critical to the city’s economic, social and cultural wellbeing. Its ever growing international profile and prestige is reflected in the thousands of visitors it brings to the city and the extensive media coverage and profile it achieves. Our sponsors tap into this excitement, benefiting from unique opportunities to reach a large audience of customers, staff and suppliers at a time when the city is at its busiest. They also share a commitment to investing in a festival which is essential to the city’s vibrancy, confidence and economic vitality. Their vital support has ensured that this year’s Brighton Festival is the most ambitious, adventurous and thrilling yet. Featuring the world’s best music, dance, theatre, literature and art Brighton plays a starring role on the international cultural stage. Our media partners are excellent ambassadors and our national media partner, The Guardian, is once more involved in helping us to reach national and international audiences. Latest 7, our media sponsor and The Argus – regional media partner, are also extremely important to us for their vital work in promoting every Festival show with previews, stories, reviews and information.

Dismemberment of Jeanne d'Arc supported by Cathedral Group Plc “Cathedral invests in great place-making and art is integral to that. The opportunity to support a world class sculptor – Anish Kapoor is simply one we could not miss. Cathedral Group Plc are going to transform the old Circus Street fruit market into an amazing new place which will be full of art, so how could we not be a key part of the Brighton Festival! Cathedral invests in great place-making and art is integral to that. The opportunity to support a world class sculptor – Anish Kapoor is simply one we could not miss. Our favourite thing about the Brighton Festival is its attitude. World class and yet local. We love that mix.“ Richard Upton, CEO, Cathedral Group Plc. The Comedy of Errors sponsored by CSMA Club “As CSMA Club is a membership organisation that caters for families, it’s great to be sponsoring an outdoor family event. The Globe on Tour are bringing Shakespeare to new audiences and in such an unusual venue, it is sure to be a highlight of the

The Jerusalem Quartet sponsored by Baker Tilly “We’ve chosen The Jerusalem Quartet because the passion, excellence and quality in their performance makes it the perfect event for Baker Tilly. The Brighton Festival is an ideal way for us to involve clients and prospects at events, which always prove popular and have given us a great opportunity to build long-lasting relationships while supporting the Arts. Along with our sponsored performance, The Jerusalem Quartet, I am looking forward to events around the city, including The Erpingham Camp at the Brighton Pier.” Jonathan Ericson, office managing partner Sussex, Baker Tilly. | ticket office: 01273 709709

Antony & the Johnsons sponsored by Bupa International “Antony & the Johnsons is a band that has a wide appeal, just like Bupa International. It’s also great to be able to support someone who was born locally (Chichester). It just seemed the right event. As Brighton Festival has grown in popularity over the last four decades so too has Brighton-based Bupa International. We also want to show our support to the local community, not only as a recruiter but as a sponsor of such a great event. The best thing about Brighton Festival is the diversity of the whole event.“ Andrew Rance, HR consultant - recruitment & resourcing, Bupa International.



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Festival. We are a national organisation but we’ve been based in Brighton for many years. Our sponsorship helps support the Festival, which is so important to the City and enjoyed by our staff as local residents. Personally I am taking my family to Alice in the Walled garden – it’s nice to see a promenade piece for children – rather than insisting they sit still!“ Melanie Dumelow, marketing manager, CSMA Club

Melvin Bragg sponsored by John Packer Associates “We picked the Melvin Bragg evening purely on the basis that we thought it would be an interesting discussion that the people we invited would wish to come and enjoy with us. We use Brighton Festival for two reasons, firstly as an excuse to catch up with colleagues and clients in a less formal environment and secondly to engage our staff in something a bit different; away from our normal sphere of work-orientated thinking. I am looking forward to the David Attenborough Evening. He has clearly had a life full of wonderful experiences and I am sure that this evening will be enthralling for all who are lucky enough to attend.“ James Porter, director, John Packer Associates

The Children’s Parade sponsored by Southern Water “Southern Water is thrilled to be sponsoring the Children’s Parade. It is such a wonderful event which brings the entire community together. The sponsorship comes at a time when we are part way through a major project to renew water mains across the city. Clearly this affects both residents and visitors and by sponsoring the Children’s Parade we are saying thank you for everyone’s patience while we carry out this vital work. The Festival is a vibrant and important part of Brighton’s culture and the great thing about it is everyone can be involved as there are plenty of free events.“ Andy Shaddick, public affairs’ manager, Southern Water

Brighton Festival sponsored by EDF Energy “EDF Energy has supported Brighton Festival for 14 years and is delighted to do so again this year. The festival provides a focus to the City's year and we are pleased to be able to contribute to the success of such a wonderful celebration of the Arts in a city where so many of our customers and employees live and work. Big Splash brings the celebrations to the streets of the city and is a fantastic opportunity for all generations to be involved in the festival.“ Hilary Walkman, head of sponsorship, PR and events, EDF Energy | ticket office: 01273 709709



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Out ’n’ about Brighton Festival’s programme contains numerous outdoor and free events to help you make the most of Brighton’s most cultural month eeping with tradition the Festival kicks off on Saturday 2 May with its usual fanfare of samba and colourful costumes in the Children‘s Parade. This year’s theme is the elements: earth, air, fire and water, so expect a force of nature from over 4,000 participants from 70 schools and community groups. Fire, Smoke and Mirrors will transform Queen’s Park into an elemental landscape of illusion and experience. Open from 8.30pm until 11pm on Saturday 2 and Sunday 3 May families can take a twilight meander through a landscape of fire, water, light and shadow. Created by Walk the Plank one of the UK’s leading outdoor performance makers. Rocking into Brighton Dome’s Concert Hall on 17 May at 9.15pm is Bangers and Mash, a gala performance choreographed by Hofesh Shechter Company and featuring over 200 young dancers and musicians from across the region. Encompassing Shechter’s trademark energy, with sinuous floor work, highly physical sequences and dramatic ensembles all played to a live score of primal grooves and hypnotic electronica from five local bands.

At St Nicholas’ Rest Garden, Friday 22 to Sunday 24 May Shakespeare’s Globe on Tour present The Comedy of Errors, when two estranged twins and two servants – also twins – are cast into a city of sorcery, mistaken identity, chaos and confusion abound. The audience is encouraged to bring picnics and cushions to enjoy a fantastic al fresco Shakespearean treat.


“Families can take a twilight meander through a landscape of fire, water, light and shadow”

Hofesh Shechter Company Bangers and Mash | ticket office: 01273 709709

Rounding off a month of fun in the sun the Big Splash is at Brighton Marina on Sunday 24 May with puppeteers, stilt walkers, juggles, acrobats, aerialists and Alchemy Fireworks send the Festival off with an explosive adieu.

Walk the Plank



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BRIGHTON FESTIVAL 35 delivered to the location, where in an almost voyeuristic way, they will witness the seedy side of this underworld of sex workers and their punters. Breaking News, A daily news show is Rimini Protokoll’s extraordinary look at international news and the way we are fed and digest it. Live news broadcast from across the globe will be beamed directly onto the stage of the Theatre Royal, where the company will translate, dissect and comment on the news of the moment. This is edgy, interactive entertainment that will be totally unpredictable except for the fact that it is guaranteed to be exciting and provocative. Breaking News is simply ground-breaking theatre and the stuff that makes the festival exciting. No less exciting however is Druid Theatre’s revival of what is said to be the definitive production of the classic Playboy Of The Western World. When first staged in Dublin in1907 the irreverent humour sparked riots. It has since been recognised as a tragicomic classic and a masterpiece of poetic theatre. Following the success of their The Cripple Of Inishmaan this promises to be as popular and successful with Festival audiences.

Breaking News

Play for today International, cutting-edge and simply good fun – this year’s theatre programme is on full form righton is a city of actors, walk in any bar and there they are talking, turn any corner and there is someone famous from film, television or stage. With so much talent and a clutch of fantastic venues it is only right that the Festival reflects that and in a balanced way. So a programme that includes fabulous international companies and names in a menu that includes classics alongside cutting edge productions is what we have come to expect. This year is no exception and there is probably something there to satisfy all tastes. For those of us who like our theatre to be frivolous and fun then look no further than The Erpingham Camp, the Joe Orton masterpiece. Commissioned by Brighton Festival Hydrocracker will stage the play on Brighton Pier and for all its camp frivolity – as ever with Orton – the subtext is dark and


perverse; ending in what can be described as an orgy of overindulgence. The event is sold out but there are ten £10 tickets available for each performance on the day. Also taking place on location (as yet undisclosed), is Kurva Reial Companyia de Teatre de Catalunya’s play about roadside prostitution. Roadside prostitution is a phenomenon seen across mainland Europe, where women ply their trade in often very dangerous circumstances. Kurva looks at the danger, the hardship, the friendships and the boredom. The audience will be collected and

“Edgy, interactive entertainment that will be totally unpredictable”

The Erpingham Camp

Playboy of the Western World

No Festival would be complete without a mime show and this year we have Teater Patrasket’s Wireless. Five clowns occupy a wordless universe of mechanical toys, creaking handles and buzzing bees ideally suited to a family audience. This Danish company create humour and sadness from the simplest of devices and prove that the art of mime, and comedy can indeed build an entire world of creative invention. Theatre created in specific sites became the buzz concept a few years back and many successful companies have made brilliant works in the most unlikely of places. This year we have a very likely site specific work as Sixteenfeet Productions stage Alice In The Walled Garden in, yes you guessed it, the walled garden of Preston Manor. This magical hour long live theatrical and musical experience is, again, ideally suited for family audiences.

For full listings visit | ticket office: 01273 709709



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0871 224 4007 Tuesday 28


17 AGAIN (12A) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 7.45 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 2.45, 8.30 CHANGELING (15) 8.45 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.15, 8.00 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00 IN THE LOOP (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00, 8.30 LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) 12.10, 5.45 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 12.30, 2.45, 5.00 OBSERVE AND REPORT (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15 STATE OF PLAY (12A) 11.45, 2.40, 5.40, 8.40

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 9.30

THE UNINVITED (15) 7.00, 9.15 X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 10.30pm

Thursday 30 17 AGAIN (12A) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 9.15 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 6.00 IN THE LOOP (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00, 8.30 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 12.30, 2.45 OBSERVE AND REPORT (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 10.30am STATE OF PLAY (12A) 11.45, 2.40, 5.40, 8.40 THE UNINVITED (15) 9.15

Wednesday 29 17 AGAIN (12A) 12.15, 2.45 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 9.15 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 6.00 IN THE LOOP (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00, 8.30 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 12.30, 2.45 OBSERVE AND REPORT (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 STATE OF PLAY (12A) 11.45, 2.40, 5.40, 8.40

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 10.45, 11.00, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 9.30


01273 626261 Tuesday 28

Saturday 2

DOUBT (15) 11.00am IN THE LOOP (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

MODERN LIFE (PG) 2.00, 6.30 SHIFTY (15) 4.00, 8.30

Wednesday 29

Sunday 3

DOUBT (15) 11.00am IN THE LOOP (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

IN SEARCH OF BEETHOVEN (U) 6.00 MODERN LIFE (PG) 2.00 SHIFTY (15) 4.00, 9.00

Thursday 30

Monday 4

IN THE LOOP (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30

MODERN LIFE (PG) 2.00, 6.30 SHIFTY (15) 4.00, 8.30

Friday 1 MODERN LIFE (PG) 2.00, 6.30 SHIFTY (15) 4.00, 8.30 THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE WEIRD (15) 11pm


0871 200 2000 Tuesday 28 17 AGAIN (PG) 1.10, 3.40, 6.20, 8.50 CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE (18) 12.20, 2.50, 7.15, 9.30 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 1.30, 3.50, 6.40, 9.10 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 1.40, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 12.00, 1.00, 2.10, 3.10, 4.15, 5.40, 6.15, 8.10 OBSERVE AND REPORT (15) 12.30, 2.40, 5.10, 7.10, 9.20 RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (PG) 5.00 STATE OF PLAY (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.50, 8.30 X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 10.30pm

Wednesday 29 17 AGAIN (PG) 1.10, 3.40, 6.20, 8.50 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 1.30, 3.50, 6.40, 9.10 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 1.40, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 12.00, 2.10, 4.15 OBSERVE AND REPORT (15) 12.30, 2.40, 5.10, 7.10, 9.20

STATE OF PLAY (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.50, 8.30 X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 11.40, 12.40, 2.20, 3.20, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 7.40, 8.40, 9.40, 10.30

Thursday 30

L7 lowdown  What’s on this week

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (12A) Dir: Gavin Hood Hugh Jackman reprises his role as Wolverine, telling his story as it leads up to the beginning of the first X-Men film. With plenty of superpowered action and some excellent mean’n’moody from Liev Schreiber as Sabretooth, not forgetting the mysterious Project X, this promises to knock your socks off. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Observe And Report (15) Dir: Jody Hill Seth Rogen stars as a mall security guard - yes, another one - who must track down and apprehend a flasher to win a place at the Police Academy and impress the girl of his dreams. When Rogen comes up with nada, surly copper Ray Liotta called in and the race to stop the culprit is on. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing I Love You, Man (15) Dir: John Hamburg Peter (Paul Rudd) is so loved up with Zooey that he wants to marry her. But he’s got no bessie mates to act as Best Man and so he goes on a quest to find one. Only problem with this is, his new ‘bromance‘ with Sydney (Jason Segal) is so much fun he hardly sees the girl of his dreams any more. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon State Of Play (12A) Dir: Kevin McDonald Ben Affleck stars as a congressman who comes under fire when his mistress/assistant is brutally murdered. A Washington reporter (Russell Crowe) is sent to investigate but finds himself torn between his new friendship with the congressman

17 AGAIN (PG) 1.10, 3.40, 6.20, 8.50 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 1.30, 3.50, 6.40, 9.10 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 1.40, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 12.00, 2.10, 4.15 OBSERVE AND REPORT (15) 12.30, 2.40, 5.10, 7.10, 9.20 STATE OF PLAY (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.50, 8.30 X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 11.40, 12.40, 2.20, 3.20, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 7.40, 8.40, 9.40, 10.30

Films showing Friday 1–Monday 4 THE GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST


01903 206206 Tues 28-Thurs 30

Fri 1-Mon 4

YOUNG VICTORIA (PG) 1.30, 7.30

Saturday 2

GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST (TBC) 1.30, 5.00 (not Friday), 8.00

BOLT (PG) 10.15am


In the Loop

and the pressure of working for his fearsome editor (Helen Mirren). Fastpaced Bourne Ultimatum-style thriller. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Fast and Furious (12A) Dir: Justin Lin Vin Diesel and Paul Walker return with another high speed, high-octane thriller. Fugitive ex-con Dom Toretto (Diesel) is forced to hook up with his old adversary, agent Brian O’Conner (Walker), to confront a shared enemy. As they race across LA and through Mexico the pair must now push themselves, and their cars, to the limit. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Modern Life (PG) Dir: Raymond Depardon After of ten years filming in the French farming community, Depardon examines the the values and stories that bind farming families to the land, and how developing technology is impacting this rural business. Showing at Duke Of York’s Shifty (15) Dir: Eran Creevy This respected debut from writer/director Eran Creevy delivers a British thriller following the return of Chris to his hometown and his reunion with his old best mate, Shifty - who is now a drug dealer and in more trouble than he can shake a stick at. Showing at Duke Of York’s In The Loop (15) Dir: Armando Iannucci A feature film spin-off from the genius satrical TV show The Thick Of It, In The Loop is a razor sharp political comedy. We follow the Secretary of State who is trying to stop a Prime Minister and a President who both ‘feel like a war’. Topical and hilarious.



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Dirty news Russell Crowe talks about creative journalism and his role as a morally challenged reporter in State of Play Why did you want to make State of Play? I wasn’t predisposed to do this film. I was back in Australia. The sun was shining. I was looking forward to a very long summer at home, and I got a call from the studio with which I had worked on Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Cinderella Man, and American Gangster. The first thing I did was to look at the work of Kevin Macdonald, and my absolute desire was to dismiss it completely. Do it quickly. Do it in a day and get on with my holiday. But you can’t dismiss Touching the Void and the Last King of Scotland. They’re both great pieces. Then I read the script, and I have a rule that if I have a physical reaction to a script – goose-bumps, a tear to my eye, then that’s the project I have to do. Where in the script did you have a physical reaction? I was engaged by subject matter within the film: friendship and loyalty before profession, the myth of objectivity in journalism, and the privatisation of war.

Do you like Cal McAffrey? Do you have sympathy for him? I think he goes on a journey of rediscovery and finds out just how far away he is from his ethical standards. I’ve sat in front of journalists for 30 years of my life, so I have a lot of observational material to call on. I’ve been praised, flayed and betrayed, and those experiences obviously are going to colour the way I think.

“You can’t ignore it. You ignore politics at your peril” Has playing a journalist changed your opinion of them? No, not really. But the fact that I may harbour disappointment and anger about journalists in certain situations, does not preclude me from having a deep personal opinion that it is a noble profession. However, it

Win cinema tickets to a film of your choice at the Odeon Brighton For a chance to win this week’s tickets, answer this question: For what film did Russell Crowe win an Oscar in 2001? Email your answer to with ‘State of Play’ in the subject box, or write to us at the address on page three. Closing date for entries is Monday 11 May. The winner will get a pair of tickets to see a film of their choice. Proof of age may be required.

has to be ennobled by the people who do it. We all have our faults; predilections and preferences, but that’s what you want from any creative artist. You want the writer to be personally involved, just as you want the painter and the filmmaker and the actor on the stage to be personally involved in what they’re doing. But I also do think that there’s a seriousness to that job which can prevent the individual journalist from achieving that. It could be the schedule or whether a sub-editor rips the heart out of things after he’s had his two pints at dinner time and makes sure the article fits in neatly on page five next to the ad for women’s lingerie! Do you have a view on the future of journalism? If there is a crisis in serious journalism, it’s been created by journalists because we’ve been trivialising news for a couple of decades; blurring the line between news and entertainment in order to try and achieve a larger distribution, more sales, and better ratings. But in every newspaper, no matter what level of seriousness that newspaper has a reputation for, there are pages of tripe that the editor knows to be untrue, but they will titillate the readers. They’re fine with that. There’s a sort of elbow nudging, or giggling, like “Did you see what we wrote about such and such?” And once you allow that, you may accept information from a source you know to have no credibility, but you can now safely reprint because it’s been printed before and you can always take that as your defence. Are you interested in politics? You can’t ignore it. You ignore politics at your peril. But I think there are so many blurred lines, so many secret hatches between news organisations and politicians, and so many strands and plans afoot at any given time. I think you really have to develop your own “bulls**t detector.” It is an odd situation that we are in because I think for the last generation we have been teaching people this thing where they cannot discern truth. We emphasise truth only for it to be uncovered a few years later as false, and yet people sort of giggle about it and have a cynical tap at the elbows, like “Wasn’t it funny that we did that?”

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38 STAND-UP COMEDY | ART Escape by Sue Barnes

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle talked with award-winning Pappy’s Fun Club member Matthew Crosby Pappy’s Fun Club has always had the feeling of ‘we’re going to put the show on right here’, and it’s got such lovely enthusiasm. Ah, thank you, yeah. All we’re trying to do, as much as we can, is make the audience feel like they’re part of the show, but without necessarily getting them up on the stage or doing audience participation. We want them to feel like they’re part of it. That’s part of the reason why we called ourselves a Fun Club. And this show? It’s half new and half old. So for the people who have seen us before, some old favourites are there, but what we’re doing is we’re putting in more and more new stuff so that eventually it will make up next year’s Edinburgh show. A sneak preview of some new stuff, but don’t worry – it’s not all underwritten and under-rehearsed. There are some old, old classics to keep people entertained. I’ve never quite worked out how much of the live show is ad hoc and how much is carefully mapped out? There are definitely bits which seem chaotic that actually are pretty heavily scripted. What we tend to do is write the show first of all, and so when we’re writing it and rehearsing it and performing it in preview it’s a little bit shambolic, but we kind of find out which bits can be more shambolic than others. But now we’ve got to the stage where we’re touring, after Edinburgh, that we know the show so well we can really stray away. Like learning how to sketch before you do abstract art? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it would be pretentious to describe it as like jazz comedy but it’s kind of in that direction. You get a basic structure and you riff over the top of it. What tips would you give to aspiring comics and sketch groups? The best tip you can do is just to gig all the time. One of the things that I’m certainly really proud that we did in 2006/2007 was that we just never said no to a gig. And even though it killed our social lives and we ended up having a lot of pasties at service stations at two in the morning, we were constantly gigging. And even though it’s very easy to go ‘that gig won’t be good for sketch comedy’, it’s always great to get out there and try it. Pappy’s Fun Club: Funergy, at Upstairs At Three And Ten, Fri 1 May and Sat 2 May, 8.30pm, £9/7.

Ben, Matthew, Brendon and Tom (Pappy’s Fun Club)

Winning choice Selectors’ Choice is a new strand of the Artists’ Open Houses The Artists‘ Open Houses is expanding into exciting territory this year with the addition of a curated strand under the overall banner of ‘HOUSE: Art and Domestic Space’. HOUSE inverts the concept of transforming homes into galleries by bringing the ‘domestic’ into local, small galleries and art spaces. One element of HOUSE is Selectors’ Choice, upstairs at The Regency Town House (which is in the midst of restoration), which showcases work by artists exhibiting in the Open Houses. Over 80 artists submitted work on the theme of ‘House’, explored through its association with domesticity, shelter, enclosure, space, materials, family, and memory. The Selectors’ Choice Brighton Festival Award will see a winner selected by representatives of Brighton Festival. The award will be presented at a ceremony during the exhibition. Selectors’ Choice, upstairs at The Regency Town House, 13 Brunswick Square, 2/3, 9/10, 16/17, 23/24 May, 12–6pm

Art listings University of Brighton

Regency Town House

Charleston Gallery

Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 643010 Critical Fine Art Practice Students from this course decide how they represent themselves, or their work, to a wider audience. •30 April–5 May, Mon-Sat 10am–5pm,

13 Brunswick Square, Hove Selectors’ Choice Exhibition based on the theme of ‘House’ and featuring artists from the Artists’ Open Houses. 2/3, 9/10, 16/17, 23/24 May, 12-6pm

Charleston Farmhouse 01323 811626 Thurston Hopkins Former graduate of Brighton Art School who spent eight years working as a photographer for the Picture Post, capturing the revived spirit of British life as it emerged from the austere aftermath of World War II. •Until 10 May, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery

Comedy listings Wednesday 29 Not One Thing / But Another... An evening of Improv comedy courtesy of 'Accidentally / On Purpose' featuring the best stand-up from the Brighton new comedy scene. Marlborough Bar & Theatre, 8pm, £5

Thursday 30 Comic Boom Brighton's own Seann Walsh comperes a fast-

paced quality show featuring a top headlining act plus rising stars from the comedy circuit. Ginger and Black headline. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50. Upstairs at Three and Ten Fringe Launch The Fringe begins here with the pick of the Three And Ten’s programme. Performers include Gerry Howell and Peanut Albinos. Three And Ten, 8pm, £10/8.

Saturday 2 Modern Toss – An Evening of Edwardian Chamber Filth Classic Modern Toss sketches projected onto a big screen with string quartet and piano. The Old Market, 7pm, £7/5 Off The Cuff Improv Returning for their fourth consecutive Fringe, this talented group of improvisers create hilarity out of your suggestions. Cella@Sanctuary, 8.30pm, £6/4

Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Lives Less Photographed: Working Class Life in Brighton, 1860–1935 Exhibition that reveals rare images of local working class life: the people, and the lost areas of Brighton where they lived. •Until 26 April

Permanent Gallery Bedford Place, Brighton 01273 710389 Ocean Mims: Things For Here, Now and There Mims questions and celebrates the materials and products of mass-produced domestic design. •2 May–7 June, Thurs, Fri & Sun 1–6pm, Sat 11am-6pm

Crane Kalman 38 Kensington Gdns, Brighton 01273 697096 Legends: The Getty Images Gallery Collection A selection of images of some of the greatest stars from the worlds of movies, music and sport. Until 3 May, Mon-Sat 10am6pm, Sun 10.30am–4.30pm

De La Warr Pavilion Bexhill-on-sea 01424 229111 Susan Collins: Seascape New body of work by this artist who combines digital technologies with the classical traditions of English landscape painting. •Until 14 June, open every day, 10am–6pm



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Write club

Events highlights Wild child

Iceland to Brighton

Sussex Wildlife Trust’s (SWT) Education Department taught over 20,000 youngsters through wildlife based activities last year and this is set to continue. There’s a growth in the range of activities and also the sites around Sussex where SWT offers environmental education to children. Woods Mill near Henfield is the Trust’s Headquarters, known as an inspiring place to experience the wonders of nature. The Seven Sisters Country Park near Seaford is another popular setting. Upcoming events include the Wildlife Watch Roadshow at nearby Ashdown Forest on Sunday 17 May. Explore the wildlife, take part in games and activities or join the guided nature trail starting at 1.30pm.

Enjoy the Bank Holiday weekend with some Icelandic music and culture at the Sidewinder pub in Kemp Town this Sunday 3 May. This fiesta event features live music from Icelandic band Blindfold, local and Icelandic art and photography displayed and delicious roast dinners and BBQ to enjoy. This special all-day fundraiser is in aid of the new Brighton/Iceland feature-length documentary There And Back Again. Proceeds will be split between the documentary production and the Icelandic charity organisation Náttúra.

Wildlife Watch Roadshow, Sunday 17 May 1–4pm. Meet at Ashdown Forest Centre, Ridge Road, Whych Cross, Forest Row, East Sussex. Suitable for ages 5–12. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Donations appreciated. contact on the day of the event: 07749 553688. More info at or on 01273 497561.

Iceland to Brighton, Sunday 3 May, Sidewinder pub, Kemp Town, all day until 2am.

John O’Donoghue celebrates Fabers’ 80th birthday, reads Loops and discusses the US decline righton Festival will soon be upon us. There’s already enough buzz about to keep Baloo the Bear in bare necessities until Mowgli goes back to the Man Village, but I thought you’d appreciate my own take on What’s On in Books. Joan Bakewell and Roberta Taylor are at the Corn Exchange, Friday 8 May, two first-time novelists, one with a tale of wartime Manchester; the other set in the frozen London winter of 1963, and the frozen Albion of 1983. Bakewell and Taylor are both off the telly (Late Night Line-Up and EastEnders), and both are brilliant memoirists. This is sure to be packed out, so buy your tickets now. Tom Paulin and Alice Oswald, two of Fabers’ finest, will be at the Corn Exchange as well, on Sunday 10 May, as part of Fabers’ 80th birthday celebrations. Oswald presents A Sleepwalk On The Severn, and Weeds And Wildflowers. Tom Paulin will be Tom Paulin.


Children’s Parade Brighton Festival is here which means the annual Children’s Parade. Same Sky, the company behind the Burning The Clocks December event, present an allnew parade, this year around the theme of The Elements. Over 4,000 children take part in this vibrant event. Saturday 2 May, 10.30am, from North Laine to Madeira Drive.

“Loops, a new music journal, gets an airing. They might even have some copies to sneer at” Emmanuel Jal was seven years old when he was sent to fight with the Sudan People’s Liberation Army. At 13 he was a veteran of two civil wars. He discusses his life, his music, his writing, and the film of War Child at the Corn Exchange on Monday 11 May. On Friday 15 May Jon Savage talks to Jah Wobble at the Thistle Hotel about punk, Blake, and Johnny Rotten. Don’t miss! More music on Saturday 16 May at the Thistle when Loops, a new music journal, gets an airing. Contributors Simon Armitage, Paul Morley and Paul Greenwood do the looping. They might even have some copies to sneer at. Homi Bhaba is at the Corn Exchange on Monday 18 May, speaking about our global predicament, while Bonnie Greer, Martin Jacques, Christopher Meyer, and Howard Jacobson return there on Saturday 23 May to debate the ‘decline of America’. Two giants of the BBC – David Attenborough and Melvyn Bragg – discuss their lives, books, and films, at the Dome on Tuesday 19 May and the Corn Exchange on Friday 22 May respectively. Someone should put them on together… If you want to be a Jungle VIP, swingers, these are the shows for you. You lucky people! For tickets call 01273 709709 or visit

Events listings Tuesday 28 Brighton City Singers Weekly choir meet, more info at Somerhill Junior School, 8–10pm

Saturday 2 Children’s Parade This year’s theme is The Elements. Join Same Sky for their flagship event as over 4,000 children

from schools across Sussex take part in this vibrant parade, taking place from North Laine to Madeira Drive. 10:30am Mad Hatters Market Full range of crafts, specialist foods, jewellery and gifts. Come and browse every Saturday and Sunday. Brighton Marina, 11am–4pm

Book listings Coming up... Saturday 9 Bamboozled Animation Event A night of animation shorts presented by Brighton agency Kanoti, featuring work of local animators. Ages 18+. Jubilee Square, 9pm, free

Friday 1 May Ultimate Burlesque Club Smooch celebrates the erotic short story anthology Ultimate Burlesque. Profits go to the Macmillan Cancer Trust. Komedia, 8pm, £15.

Saturday 2 City Reads book crossing Volunteers will leave copies of Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief,

this year’s City Reads book, across the city. Copies will be left hidden in laundrettes, cafes, pubs and buses for people to enjoy. Each book will have a notice telling people to enjoy the book, then leave it somewhere for someone else to find it. Latest has ten copies of the book to give away. Email with your name, address and phone

number or write to us at the address on page three. Citywide.

Sunday 3 Luke Wright – A Poet’s Work Is Never Done Special new show from the performance poet extraordinaire. Komedia, 3pm, £8/6.

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latest music

with Jeff Hemmings

★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★ Kasabian

Howling success As local punk country band Drookit Dogs launch their second album, Jeff Hemmings spoke to frontman Matt Oldfield

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New additions to Great Escape line-up The fourth year of one of Europe’s most prestigious new music showcases draws nearer and as ever there are new additions to the line-up. Recent announcements include The Charlatans, Just Jack, Mystery Jets, Idlewild, The Rumble Strips and Titus Andronicus. Demonstrating that the phrase ‘new music’ is pretty redundant, the organisers have also announced the inclusion of post punk veterans Gang of Four on the bill, perhaps in acknowledgement to the fact that they have been one of the more influential bands of recent years, sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly responsible for the huge pile of angular indie, post-punkish sounding bands that have emerged. The Great Escape features over 300 bands from around the world (playing 34 venues) most of which are on the cusp of bigger things, and who are ready to showcase their wares to music fans as well as a swathe of music industry people; right from major label big cheeses to small indie label sole trader operations. In fact, the delegate part of the Festival is just as important as the actual bands, with many high-profile speakers talking on an array of music-related subjects. The Great Escape is fast becoming a major event, with execs and bands flying from all corners of the globe. 14-16 May.

Influential electronic jazz techno pioneer playing as part of Loop. Friday 10 July, Dome




Matthew Herbert Big Band

ndependent of spirit and with a hardworking ethos to back them up, Brighton’s folk punk country outfit Drookit Dogs follow up their superb debut album of last year with Call The Guards, which will be launched at St Andrew’s Church as part of Brighton Festival Fringe. They’ll also be supporting The Levellers at the Parlure Spiegeltent as part of the May festivities, playing a more stripped back set that they seem to enjoy doing these days. “We just earnt £50 each busking in Pavilion Gardens which is more than we usually get at a gig,” laughs Matt, lead singer and guitarist for the band, a well-known and very popular fixture on the Brighton music scene. “It’s a much bigger album this time. We’ve got a new member and we’ve been bringing in new elements,” says Matt. “Before we prided ourselves on simple, stripped down music. But we all write now, and the songs are developing and we’re experimenting a bit more. The album was recorded all live, at the Metway (home to The Levellers), with Jake Rousham.” Matt describes their music as “folk, punk, country,” a brew that is fiery, articulate and very musical, but which also makes them a difficult proposition for the mainstream indie market. But that


doesn’t bother Matt: “The thing is, we can do it ourselves. We can release as much as we want without record company pressure, something we’ve always believed in. A lot of bands try to develop a commercial brand, whereas we just go out there and gig all the time. We rehearse, gig and write all the time,” he says, while also informing me that they are already working on their third album. So, the name. “It’s Scottish slang for soaking wet. A drookit dog is a wet dog – it doesn’t care about that, it just carries on, and that’s essentially how we are.” This attitude is also reflected in their songs which are often acerbic, but with a smile. “We try and not hold back lyrically… it’s important to bring comedy to the music, and make people smile. We like to make people think and smile at the same time!” Drookit Dogs, 4 May, St. Andrew’s Church and supporting The Levellers, 11 May, Parlure Spiegeltent

UPCOMING GIGS Art Brut 6 May, Concorde 2 Portico Quartet 6 May, Old Market Po’ Girl 10 May, Westhill Hall The Levellers 11 May, Parlure Spiegeltent Orquesta Aragón 12 May, Dome Great Escape 14-16 May Enter Shikari 16 May, Concorde 2 Bon Iver 18 May, Dome Kimya Dawson 19 May, Komedia Dizzy Gillespie All Stars 21 May, Concorde 2 Antony and the Johnsons 21 May, Dome Counting Crows 24 May, Brighton Centre Kristin Hersh 27 May, Duke of Yorks Terry Callier 28 May, Coalition Shapeshifter 28 May, Concorde 2 Handsome Family 29 May, De La Warr

Manic Street Preachers 2 June, Dome Florence & The Machine 2 June, Concorde 2 Camille O’Sullivan 5 June, Dome UFO 9 June, Concorde 2 Orbital 10 June, Dome Katy Perry 11 June, Dome De La Soul 12 June, Concorde 2 Jarvis Cocker 16 June, Dome Billy Bragg 17 June, Dome Jeff Beck 24 June, Dome The Saturdays 25 June, Dome Loop 11-12 July, Victoria Gardens Beachdown 28-31 August Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre

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Music listings

Music highlights

Tuesday 28 April to Monday 4 May

Tuesday 28 to Monday 4 May

Tuesday 28 BBC Proms Preview Concert Corn Exchange, 7pm, free Ben Griffith + Milk and Honey Band + Phoenix Williams Serene and slightly melancholic indie. Prince Albert, 8pm, free Bridge And Tunnel Indie-punk New Yorkers. Hobgoblin, 8pm, free Jeniferever Swedish alternative gothic bunch. Freebutt, 8pm, free Nemhein Lay your ears victim to this punk assault! Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc Smack La + Clayton Strange + Sidewalking Top rock, psychobilly, punk and indie. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4

Wednesday 29 BIM GIG: Floors & Walls + The Special K’s + Drop Tear Model Maker Hectors House, 9pm, free. Club NME with Jumping Ships + Ice Black Birds Pop and blues soaked rock. Brighton Coalition, 10pm, free Foy Vance Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £SOLD OUT. Ray Cooper Komedia, 8pm, £7 The Mummers Enchanting pop music with a fairy-tale quality. Komedia, 8pm, £7.50 Themselves Energetic, colourful, hip hop. Freebutt, 8pm, free Win Prizes + Autumn Chorus + Shisha P.M Prince Albert, 8pm, free

Thursday 30 Amity + Alan Bonner + Bernice MacDonald. Acoustic folk and glam-tinged piano ballads. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5 Brakes + Foxes + Kit Ashton + Restlesslist DJ’s Featuring awesome alternative and powerpop fun. Prince Albert, 8pm, free Crowns on the Rats + Siegfried Sassoon + Elapse-o + Menendez. An ear soothing blend of folk and classical. The Hope, 7.30pm, free It's Alive presents... The Pursuit + Livingstone Freeman + Max Maguire Hectors House, 8.30pm, free Son Of Dave Blues. Audio, 7.30pm, £8 Sonic Boom Six Punk, club-savvy reggae, jungle and ska. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc The Guillotines + Vile Imbeciles + LR Rockets Rock, alternative pop and new wave rock goodness. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/3

Friday 1 May Classics of love + Mike Park + Shot Baker High energy mid-tempo rock-punk. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc The Perils + Rob The Rich + Ruderalis + The Gentleman's Club + Jerkin The Rat Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6 Playgroup with Lazy Habits + Floors and Walls + Astro Physics + Samsara Beats, brass and rhymes. Concorde 2, 11pm, £8

WanderDown + Girls From Egypt + La Fiesta + James Ralphs Catchy Pop rock. Prince Albert, 8pm, free

Saturday 2 Bucket-Joy + White Star Liners + Hi-Sides Prince Albert, 8pm, free Diamanda Galas - Songs of Exile Brighton Dome, 8pm, £20-10 Friendly Fires + Support Heavy dance beats, and sublime pop melodies. Digital, 7pm, £10 Gallows The hugely enjoyable hardcore punks from Watford return. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £13 She Said! St Andrew's, 5pm, £10/8 Shirley + Artha Gunn & The Coloramas The Hope, 8pm, £4/3 NUS Ska Kestra Huge mix of ska, rocksteady, funk and jazz. The Old Market, 8pm, £12/8 Supper Club with T J Davis Hot soul. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £28/22 The Sunshine Underground Leeds-based indie ravers. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £tbc This Is Elvis + The Burning Love Band From 1950s rock ‘n’ roll to 1970s Las Vegas. 9pm, £12 Willkommen Collective + Sons of Noel + Adrian & Kopek Pavilion Theatre, 9pm, £8.50

Sunday 3 4000 Holes Trip To Beatlesville Soul reality psychedelic circus. The Brunswick, 8pm, free Brighton Mayday Festival with Chairman Wow! + Mike Terry + Pagan Wonderer Lu + Hollywood Assassins Garage punk, electro pop and rock’n’roll. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, free Damm Dirty Humans + The Fadadoo Project + The Veloes Early Madonna-esque vocals and electro sounds The Hope, 8pm, £4/3 NUS Den Of Iniquity with SixToes + Moneytree Prince Albert, 6pm, free TAA Fundraiser Breakcore to Jungle and chilled vibes. Hectors House, 8pm, free

Ray Cooper The long-time member of veteran folk rockers Oysterband is currently putting together his first solo album with producer Al Scott. This intimate gig will showcase some of these new songs, and there will be support from local multi-instrumentalist Ian Keary, who was the original bassist with Oysterband. Wednesday 29 April, Komedia Studio Bar The Perils + Ruderalis + Rob The Rich + Ruderalis + The Gentlemen’s Club + Jerkin The Rat Cracking line up of some of the best that Brighton has to offer. This Mayday! Mayday! event is being staged on two floors with DJs filling in and taking you to the end of the evening. The Perils headline the event, and their rock’n’roll infused indie is turning heads at the moment. Friday 1 May, Latest Music Bar She Said! Possibly the first gig for over a year from Brighton country-noir faves who brushed with label deals and mainstream success a few years back. Quite possibly Dominique Noiret’s Marlene Dietrich-sounding voice and superb songwriting may have been too good for those who cannot get enough of skinny white boys with bad haircuts and half-masted trousers. A great example of Brighton’s exciting, alternative, original and highly musical offerings of recent years. Saturday 2 May, St. Andrew‘s Church

Diamanda Galas This politically-charged, avant garde singer makes a rare appearance on these shores, along with fellow New Yorker Erik Friedlander, who opens the night with a solo performance of his free jazz and American roots music hybrid, armed with just a cello. Galas meanwhile made her mark back in the 80s with Plague Mass, a requiem for the AIDS generation, and since then has worked with Derek Jarman and Led Zep’s John Paul-Jones, as well as lending her disquieting and primal voice of Coppola’s Dracula. Saturday 2 May, Dome Dennis Rollins’ Bad Bone & Co Awardwinning ‘bone player makes very fat, very funky and bold music with strong jazz overtones, but all based on a groove. There’s gonna be no freeforming here, just solid head nodding stuff, perfect for the sumptuous interior of the Parlure Spiegeltent, back in town for this year’s festivities. Monday 4 May, Parlure Spiegeltent Graham Coxon Former Blur guitarist back with a new album, this time with more acoustic flavours, and following a narrative – the story of a man from birth to death. Monday 4 May, Digital

Graham Coxon

Monday 4 Aidan Moffat + Support Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £7/6 Bleeding Hearts Club with Diamond Family Archive + Woodpecker Wooliams Folk and melodramatic pop. Prince Albert, 8pm, free Dennis Rollins’ Badbone & Co Parlure Spiegeltent, 9pm, £12/10 Drookit Dogs Album Launch St Andrew’s, 6pm, £10/8 Graham Coxon + Support Digital, 7.30pm, £12.50 Ivo Papasov Bulgarian clarinettist and his 7piece Wedding Band. Komedia, 8pm, £15 The Thrill Of Irish Music + Harmony Glen + Cargo Leg kickin’ traditional Irish music, haunting ballads and up-tempo Irish and American numbers. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/5 Jaime Pettit


Brighton Festival Fringe TERRY GAROGHAN'S 'LAST BUS TO WHITEHAWK RADIO SHOW' starring Terry Garoghan!


07768 863175 Learner Refresher Advanced Pass plus Registered Brighton Area


Aged 16–25? Do something different...volunteer!

THE KOMEDIA STUDIO BAR Wednesday 6th May Wednesday 13th May Wednesday 20th May Show starts 9.15 - Finishes 10.30 Tickets £10 Komedia box office : 0845 293 8480

Brighton and Hove Volunteers is here to help and support young people aged 16–25 to get involved in voluntary work in the city. It's a great way to try something different, gain experience and have fun while doing something useful for your community. We can help you find all sorts of voluntary work that fits in with your lifestyle and accredit your work with a nationally recognised V award.

Tel: 01273 234779 email:

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REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases atasha Khan (aka Bat For Lashes) has achieved formidable success for an artist who likes to experiment – like a hybrid of Bjork and Kate Bush. As usual there is a haunting, otherworldly presence to her music – utilising strings, acoustic instruments and various bits of electronic paraphernalia. It’s a world of her own, but a place that has drawn many admirers, wanting to have a peep into the world of this outwardly extrovert character. Clever, and at times intoxicating (if a little flat to these ears) her new album Two Suns once again reveals a genuine talent, but one who could do with a few more strong melodies and a little bit more oomph. Brighton’s Conrad Vingoe has been playing in and around the Brighton area for a few years, beguiling audiences with his heartfelt lyrics, his Buckleyesque voice and and a clutch of songs, strong on melody and bereft of any fat. His new album Spare Buttons and Bones is another self-financed production, with three songs mixed and engineered by Tim Bidwell. Prolific he may be, but sometimes it’s best to hold back a little when things don’t seem to be working out, or at least issue so-so recordings as fan-only or limited edition. Throughout his illustrious career Neil Young has thrown in the occasional dud into the works, often sandwiched between classics. Why? Only he knows (although maybe he doesn’t), and while Fork In The Road isn’t bad, it’s just rather average and a bit of a comedown after after the heights he reached with the epic, autobiographical and purposeful Prairie Wind. Here, he rocks out, keeping things nice and simple with no agenda other than to hang out and make grooves, with plenty of distortion, and not a great deal else. The likes of Enya, Deep Forest and Ethno World ambient may not be the finest potion ever invented due to the irritating tendency to lock into a sleepy groove that goes nowhere and does very little. Unfortunately Bombay Dub Orchestra fall into this trap on 3 Cities. While explosive Bollywood meets heavy dub could have been a wondrous creation, what we get instead is head music, that might suit those in a trance or dancing in a field shoeless. But that’s about it, I’m afraid. Fence collective originator and all-round good egg, Kenny Anderson has been releasing excellent records under the King Creoste moniker for some time now, always able to deliver uplifting, warm and textured music, topped off by his distinctive Scots burr. New album Flick the Vs, is once again brimming with melody and infused with an oddball mentality that makes him such an endearing artist.


To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to

Brighton  Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 tenek – If I Should Fall - ep version ★ 2 tenek – State Of Mind 3 Digitalis – No Control 4 Kontour – The Kennedy Syndrome 5 Chaos Borne – Watching 6 Swarf – Parlour Tricks 7 Mr Resonate – Say what you mean 8 No Sharp Objects – Home 9 The Woo!worths – K O N I C H I W A (dem oh) 10 Freudstein – Sister Sleaze The electronic waves are washing out the acoustic competition this week. Tenek bag a double whammy as their synth pop soaked, harmonic sound steals the top two gongs. Digitalis hold on tight to third with the dynamic opener to their album ‘No Control’. Whilst the rough sound of Kontour’s analogue sequencers snap fast at their heels at four. 11 Chaos Borne The Moment 12 Mr Resonate The opposite vibe feat. North Laine & Lionheart 13 Mr Resonate All that I‘m not 14 sMs I’m sorry Dave 15 Frunt, Bak & Nutz The Rites Of Wolf 16 Victoria Ferguson & Ben Ingall Every Time 17 Caramel Jack Curtain 18 Caramel Jack We Could Build Skyscrapers 19 Thunk Micromophone 20 N-D-E Incredible Machine. 21 Sparker 1000 Days (I Want You Know) 22 Breakinbear Breeze 23 Chrissy Fuel & The Flames The Motorway Song 24 Glitters From Billy Holiday 25 Jaybee Miles to go

26 Automatic Shoes Your Father 27 Last Days Of Lorca Big Green Parcel Machine 28 Glitters From Billy Little Star 29 Cath O’Drae Mugged By The System 30 Offcuts Flesh 31 Kovak Death In The Disco 32 The Beautiful Word Golden Box 33 Amongst The Pigeons Wings Wings Beat 34 Millsy slug music Power 35 Rosko For Your Ears Only 36 Dan Sumner Glitterball 37 Afterspark Little Glow 38 Jaybee Sweet savage 39 sMs Airport dreaming 40 The Blue Skies Arcade Girl

Crossword solutions Solution Cryptic 191



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ACROSS: 7 Classic 8 Leave 9 Dance 10 Impasto 11 Sordidness 14 Glossiness 17 Stapled 19 Tread 20 Obese 21 Excerpt. DOWN: 1 Manners 2 Especial 3 Action 4 Slap 5 Daisy 6 Decomposed 9 Discussion 12 Sciatica 13 Meteors 15 Sadden 16 Fades 18 Leek. Solution to Quick 191

ACROSS: 7 Rotunda 8 Acrid 9 Might 10 Obscene 11 Needlessly 14 Astronomer 17 Nibbled 19 Molar 20 Arson 21 Larceny. DOWN: 1 Stagger 2 Installs 3 Famous 4 Mass 5 Greed 6 Adventurer 9 Monumental 12 Landmark 13 Smaller 15 Riddle 16 Obese 18 Land. © Crossword Shop



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Bar & Club listings

Bar & Club highlights

Tuesday 28 April to Monday 4 May

Tuesday 28 April to Monday 4 May

Tuesday 28 Brighton Coalition Latin Fever.10pm–2am, free Digital Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge It’s ***King Good. Prescription cheese and chart. 10:30pm, £1 New Hero This Exists. Pop culture. 10pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and punk mash-up. 10.30pm–2am, £1–£3 Water Margin Sessions.11pm–4am, £2/free

Wednesday 29 Arc Life Is Easy. A mid-week interlude of indie classics. 10pm, free b4 12-£1 after Audio Supercharged. Adding a little soul to your usual shot of D'n'B, 11pm–2:30am, £5/4 Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest with live NME bands & DJs. 10:30pm–3:30am, free Funky Buddha Lounge NYC. Unpretentious pop, electro and house.11pm–6am, £3/2 Po Na Na Urban Chic. 10pm–3am, free/£2 Volks Genetics. Liquid, soulful and darkside bass and breaks. 10pm–3am, £1 b4 12-£2 after Water Margin Forgive Me Father for I Have Synth’d. 80s electro. 11pm–3am, £tbc Followed by: Genetics. 2.30am–7am, £2

Thursday 30 Audio Shameless Presents Quids In. 11pm, £1 Brighton Coalition Love Blow. R’n’B, funky house and floor-fillers.10.30pm–3am, £2/1 NUS Digital Thursday Club. Rusko. 11pm, £6.50 Funky Buddha Lounge Old Kool. Classic house. 10.30pm–3am, £free–£3 New Hero Pop Kraft. 10pm–2am, £2 Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. 10pm–3am, £3/2 Water Margin Love Lockdown. DJs and special guests. 7.30pm, ladies free all night

Friday 1 May Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. 60s night. 11pm–3am, £3 Audio Shogun. Hours of shape throwing D’n’B 11pm–4am, £10/8 Brighton Coalition A huge Ayia Napa sendoff! 10.30pm-4am, £8 Concorde 2 Playgroup Presents: Sunrise Festival launch. 11pm-4am, £8 Digital Stonelove. Indie rock. 11pm–3am, £4 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Fish The Funkyfish.10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Hanbury Club The Barrelhouse. 40s swing and jive with live band. 7pm-2am, £9-6 Hectors House Mod For It. 60s mod extravaganza. 10pm-2am, free Honey Club Hardsouth. Diamond blasting hard dance. 10.30pm-5am, £10-5 Komedia Stone To The Bone. ‘70s motown, psychedelic soul and funk grooves. 11pm, £5 New Hero Somewhere in the Universe… Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3 Parlure Spiegeltent Shhh! A Silent Disco. See highlights. 11.30pm–2am, £10

Po Na Na Ice Box. House. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Volks Classified! Bank holiday launch party. Beats, basslines and live lyrics. 11pm-6am, £5/6

with Jaime Pettit

Saturday 2 Arc Hold Up. Indie night. 10.30pm–4am, £5 Audio SoL’s Winter Sessions. House and nudisco. 11pm–4am, free Brighton Coalition Junkbox. Electro tech club night. 11pm–4am, £12/8. Followed by: Pussycat/ Blow the Afterparty. 3am-8am, £7-4 Concorde 2 15 Years of Wiggle. Deep, basement-shaking sound. 11pm-4am, £7. Cuckoo Club Muzika. Cutting edge and funky retro house. 10pm–4am, £10/8 Digital Pussycat Club - Saints & Sinners. Funky electro and dirty house. 11pm, £12/10 Engine Rooms Born Bad. Alternative madness for glamorous girls and boys. 11pm-3am, £5/4 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house. 10.30pm-5am, £12/5 NUS La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house music. 8pm-4am, free b4 11-£6 after Latest Music Bar Stick It On. Take a shot at DJ stardom with 15 minutes of deck domination at your tips. 10.30pm-2.30am, £8 New Hero It Is Still 1985. 10pm, £3 Ocean Rooms Fiesta Birthday – bank holiday special. 11pm-8am, £tbc Om Bar and Club Balearic Jukebox. 9pm, £3. Parlure Spiegeltent Shhh! A Silent Disco. See highlights. 11.30pm–2am, £10 Po Na Na Silk. R’n’B, House. 10pm–3am, £10-5 Volks Psychedelicious. A tantalising mix of psytrance, breaks and funk. 11pm-5am, £6/7 Water Margin Logo. 3am, £7/5

Sunday 3 Arc Irie. Ragga, R’n’B. 10pm–3am, £5/3 Audio 28th Street Presents.... Big Beat House from Bad boy, Micky Slim. 10pm-4am, £6/8 Brighton Coalition Aeroplane. Belgium’s hottest new dance act! 11pm-4am, £tbc Concorde 2 Knowledge Of Self. A night of 4deck mixing and open mic. 11pm-4am, £10 Digital Hospitality. 11pm-4am, £12.50 Honey Club Sundelicious. 10pm-3am, £2/1 Ocean Rooms New Slang. 10pm-2am, £tbc The Open House We Change The Frequency. Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free

Monday 4 Coalition Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free. Honey Club Disco Babe. 10.30pm–2.30am, £3/1 Om Bar and Club Spun. D’n’B student bash 8:30pm, £3 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. 10pm–2.30am, £3/1 Jaime Pettit

Thursday Club Hailing from the dubstep hotbed of Leeds, this relative jailbait throws some dark narcotic melancholy and plenty of low-end bass. Rusko, ladies and gents. Thursday 30 April, Digital Playgroup Presents – Sunrise Festival Launch Party Buzzing latin jump up carnival reggae with Samsara plus a funky barrage of lyrics from the innovative Astro Physics. Friday 1 May, Concorde 2 Shhh! A Silent Disco Dance to your own beat. Two DJs battle for your ears at the headphone disco phenomenon. Don your headphones with two channels of choice and check out the tunes on offer from two very different DJs. 1 May – Nicky Spice vs We Don’t Play; the village disco don of dodgy pop and wedding fare takes on the Bristol club classics crew. Cool or corny – which will you choose?! 2

May – A Skillz vs Healer Selecta; finger Lickin party breaks and fat hip hop beats from local talent A Skillz goes up against London’s No.1 rock’n’roll DJ and vintage party starter Healer Selecta. This is going to be a cracker! Friday 1 May and Saturday 2 May, Parlure Spiegeltent Hospitality The Heavyweight titans of D'n'B roll in, grab Brighton by its bass head and shake it up for a bank holiday special. With High Contrast, London Elektricity, Logistics and Cyantific, and MCs Wrec and SP. Go on, make them feel at home. Sunday 3 May, Digital

Shhh! A Silent Disco Rusko @ Thursday Club

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A life in words A popular columnist has published the first volume of his chronicles about living with HIV. Paul Thorn, the second-longest running columnist at Gay Times, will launch his first collection of columns tonight (Tuesday 28 April) in Kemp Town. One pound from the sale of each book, Per Column Inch: Volume 001, will be donated to the Sussex Beacon, Brighton’s Aids and HIV treatment centre. Paul started writing for Gay Times in 2004 and has shared many intimate details about being HIV positive. He said: “They wanted something that was really honest and from a very personal perspective. A lot of people do seem to benefit from it, my post bag tells me that.” Paul, who is due to move to Brighton from Haywards Heath this week, was diagnosed with HIV 21 years ago at the age of 17. Against the odds, he survived a brutal case of multi drug-resistant tuberculosis contracted in a London hospital in 1995. The disease killed seven other patients. Paul signed his first book contract aged 23 and is the author of several books including the acclaimed The Tuberculosis Survival Handbook. He has written about health and lifestyle for a number of publications and founded the Tuberculosis Survival Project, a web-based peer support initiative used in 105 countries. He works with Médicins Sans Frontieres and the World Health Organisation. The book is available for £7.99 from the Sussex Beacon shop in St James’s Street, Brighton or an e-version can be downloaded for £3.99 from Launch event, Red Roaster, St James’s Street, Brighton, Tue 28 April, 6pm. All welcome.

Rhona live Award-winning comedian Rhona Cameron is to bring her sellout show to Sussex. The critically acclaimed author will perform for one night only at the De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill in June. Expect an evening of hilarious storytelling, classic sharp wit and extremely funny observational humour, as Rhona takes the audience

through the ridiculous situations of her darkly comical life and her struggle with the absurdities of modern times. Scottish comedienne Rhona was seen by millions in Australian jungle in I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. She rose to fame in the nineties on both TV and the comedy circuit and is also a novelist. Rhona Cameron plus support to be confirmed, De La Warr Pavilion, Saturday 27 June 8pm. Tickets £15. 01424 229 111

Scene history Discover the history of gay pubs in Brighton during the Fringe. Rachel Pegg spoke to tour guide Rose Collis ou might know that The Bulldog has a long history within Brighton’s gay scene, as the longest running gay pub in the city. But did you know that the first meeting of the Gay Liberation Front was held at what is now Circus Circus, or that for a long time the precursor of the Fortune of War was one of the main hang outs for Brighton’s gay population? The stories of Brighton’s gay drinking establishments will be brought to life for Brighton Festival Fringe by tour guide Rose Collis, author of Brighton Boozers: A History of the City’s Pub Culture. The journalist and historian has dozens of fascinating tales about where gay and lesbian Brightonians and tourists used to meet, drink and socialise. Her tour takes visitors from the secret clubs of the early 20th century, through legalisation of male gay relationships in 1967, to aggressive police raids in the 70s and up to today. It ends at the Marlborough, which was also an early venue for the GLF. The tour is based on a chapter in Brighton Boozers. Rose said that the gay scene was an integral part of the book: “I was very keen that gay pubs should have a section, being so pivotal to Brighton‘s culture. There are a lot of guided tours in Brighton. Gay history and women‘s history is often ignored.“ The tour looks at how gay pubs sprang up organically around the city, rather than being concentrated in certain areas like they are today. Rose said: “Gay people came and some pubs were more friendly than others.” The walk starts at Brighton Station, then ventures through North Laine, The Lanes, the seafront and Kemp Town, taking in the Bulldog and the St James‘s Tavern, which was a gay pub in the 30s and 40s. There are about ten pubs visited in detail, including the former 42 Club, at 42 Kings Road over what is now The Rock Shop. There is also The Hop Poles, formerly the Spotted Dog; The Varsity, which was The Heart and Hand; The Fishbowl, which was The Greyhound, and Circus Circus, formerly known as the Stanford Arms. In the 1970s, the National Front was very active in Brighton and the local Gay Liberation Front was set up to resist them and the police. Rose said: “Police were still raiding pubs in the seventies. Police were trying to close down pubs on any pretext. The more people who lived here and the more visible they were, they weren’t going to take that rubbish any more.” Rose is leading two other tours during the festival, a new tour about Joe Orton and a tour entitled Women of Woodvale, about women laid to rest at Woodvale Cemetery, such as Virginia Woolf's grandmother Maria Jackson and Vita Sackville West‘s mother. All three tours are sponsored by 360 magazine and 180 News. Women of Woodvale, 3 and 24 May, from Woodvale Lodge. Joe Orton's Brighton, 10 May from Brighton Station front entrance. Time Out: Historic Gay Pubs Tour, 17 May, from Brighton station front entrance. All tours start at 2pm, are open to over 18s only and cost £7.50. or 01273 709709.


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Gay listings Tuesday 28 April to Monday 4 May Pippa Evans, Bent Double Sunday 3

Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girls Night. 2 floors of mayhem with DJs. 8pm–2am, free Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Unlimited drinks for £20! 9pm, free R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Lollipop Vs Altitude. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag. 11pm–4am, free The Sabai Pavillion Lady Boys Of Bangkok. 16 beautiful showgirls who just happen to be men! 7pm and 9.15pm, £12 The Zone Gilly B & JJ. E 9:30pm, free

Saturday 2 Tuesday 28 Amsterdam Tuesday Social. Chase the Monday blues with wine and music. 7pm, free Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity. 12pm, free Ghetto Quiz Alicious & Twisted Karaoke. Hosted by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free Queen‘s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free Revenge Playground. School Disco with a twist. Trax from the 80s, 90s and 00s! 10.30pm–3am, free to NUS & those in uniform/£3 others The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Lil Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free

Wednesday 29 Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free Brighton Tavern Wednesday's Wine Club. 12pm, free Charles Street Bar Weekly Gameshow. A new spin on game shows. 8.30pm, free Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and 80s. 10pm, £2.50 Latest Music Bar Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. From 7pm, £10 Legends Gabbi‘s Bona Bingo. Hosted by the TV show host and desperate housewife. 9pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre In-House Darts League. Nightly and annual prizes. 8pm, £3 R-Bar Midweek Chill. DJ Lil Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p rush bar! 12pm, free Revenge Guilty. Big funky and electro beats. 11pm–3am, free NUS or b4 12 - £2 after Star Inn Charity Jukebox. 12pm–11pm, free The Basement Play. Uplifting house and dance anthems with DJ Lil Alex. 11pm–4am, free.

Thursday 30 Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. £1.25 a pint, £1 a bottle, small wine or shot. 8pm–11pm, £ Charles Street Club Religion. Funky house 10pm–3am, £4/3 NUS Ghetto HDSM. Leather to lycra with Jon Byrne splashing out hard dirty sexy music. 10pm, £4/3 Legends Cabaret Lounge. 9.30pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free Queen‘s Arms See Tues. 12pm-3am, free R-Bar I Can‘t Wait For The Weekend To Begin. Dulcie Danger sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls On Top.10.30pm- 4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £4/5 after The Basement Boys Below. Men only night. Chart hit remixes and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free

Friday 1 May Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies dished up by Ruby Roo and Connie Conway. Bar open 11am, free Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Ghetto Popstarz. Indie recent and retro with Tommy Turntables. 10pm, free b4 11

Amsterdam Sun Downers. House music. 8pm–2am, free Charles Street Club Mardi Gras.11pm–3am, £5/3 Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11 Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Party Night. Fab tunes plus live music. 8pm–2am, free Queen‘s Arms Cabaret, 3.30–5.30pm. Bar open 12pm–12.30am, free R-Bar Kinky Baby. From 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Kinky Dangerous with special guests 10.30pm–4am, £7/3 The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart remixes from DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury‘s Out Saturday Madness. House DJs from 8.30pm. Bar open 12pm, free The Sabai Pavillion The Lady Boys Of Bangkok. 7pm and 9.15pm, £22-10 The Zone Presents... Miss Hap. Songs and tall tales to be heard tonight! 9:30pm, free

Sunday 3 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch & Connie’s Karaoke. Roast then karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free Audio Sunday Sundae. Disco tinged classic dance with Kate Wildblood and co. 6pm, £5/3 Charles Street Bar Showtime. Performance from Lizzie Drip. 7.15pm, free Ghetto Club Tropicana. Back to the 80's with DJ Pookie and friends. 10pm, £free b4 11 Komedia Bent Double. Stand-up with Pippa Evans, Zoe Lyons and guests. 7:30pm, £10/8 Legends Sunday Cabaret with Topping & Butch. Then chill out in the bar. 3.15pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Sunday Quiz. 7pm, £1 per entrant Queen‘s Arms Cabaret: Davina Sparkle + Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-Bar Sublime Sundays & Barmy Bingo. Acoustic sessions at 5pm followed by barmy bingo! 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls On Top. Chart, pop and funky dancefloor. 10.30pm-4am, free b4 11:30 with passes, 4/5 after The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes with new DJ, Ross Alexander. 11pm–4am, free The Sabai Pavillion The Lady Boys Of Bangkok. 5pm and 7.30pm, £22-10 The Zone Kitty Monroe. 4:30pm, free Tru Wild Fruit – Sex Saloon. 10pm- 3am, £12-6

Monday 4 Amsterdam The Big Quiz. 7pm, £1 per player Charles Street Club Studio 150. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Ghetto Frat Party. Indie, electro and credible pop plus drinking games! 10pm, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn & Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. Open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free R-Bar Miss Jason‘s Mad house. Regular cabaret night plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free The Basement Back To The 80s & 90s. Nostalgic floor-fillers. 11pm–4am, free The Sabai Pavillion The Lady Boys Of Bangkok. Second show at 9.15pm. 7pm, £22-10



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28 APRIL – 4 MAY

She says it how she sees it

Films on TV Top tips for your week of flicks

and he overshoots a tad and ends up 800,000 years in the future with mankind separated into two warring factions and Samantha Mumba in little more than a fur bikini. Who’d a thunk?

FRIDAY 1 Requiem For A Dream ★★★★★ (2000, Sky Movies Indie, 2.15am. Dir Darren Aronofsky) Darkly compelling, this delves to the depths that humanity can sink to and then gets out the microscope to look closer. With a stellar cast including Ellen Burstyn, Jennifer Connelly, and Jared Leto, it tells the tale of the abusive relationships that can evolve from a combination of hard drugs and what were good people.

Hell’s Kitchen Nightly 9pm ITV arco Pierre White is the head of the kitchen this year and god does he love it. With his constant tapping of a knife on a surface and strange bandana scarf thing wrapped around his head, I’m surprised any of the celebs can take him seriously. The celebs this year include Anthea Turner and her hubby, Miss Dynamite, Gary Liniker’s girlfriend Danielle and Adrian Edmondson, to name a few. This is the first time I have ever watched this series and I am now addicted. The arguments between the celebs have been funny and especially those between Jody (as seen in Shameless) and everyone else, his cocky-ness gets the better of him and he hates it when he is given any job that he doesn’t see as being the best one. But it’s not only the celebs in the kitchen who argue. The guests at the restaurant (who, let’s not forget, dine for free) complain continually about the food in-between interviews done by the show’s host Claudia Winkleman – who you either love or hate. Marco will now be evicting celebs from the kitchen based on their performance, and that is when the fun really starts. Most of the celebs are mega-competitive in the regular world but it seems that if they are put in a kitchen their competitive streaks flare up along with the saucepans. But bless them, are they really put through their paces. The kitchen is hot, their friends and families are sitting in the restaurant and they are made to do things like chop heads off eels. I don’t envy them one bit but I do enjoy watching them suffer. Because that is the point of the show really. If the celebs were doing things they loved and doing it perfectly, there would be no entertainment value, but with something like this where they are generally put into a situation many of them haven’t even scratched the surface of before entering Hell’s Kitchen, it does amount in a series of amusing situations. But they don’t only work together, they have to live together. And so far that seems to have gone with a giggle. Many people have said how they preferred Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen but I quite like Marco. He may have a strange headscarf thing happening but he isn’t half as rude as Gordon, which makes the show slightly easier to watch and also, you really notice the lack of bad language flying with the knives. Love it or hate it, you have to admit there is something entertaining about Anthea Turner and husband sharing a kitchen, will the housework queen share some tips? Will she spend her free time folding everyone’s Tshirts in that strange way she does? Will Ade Edmondson rip Jody’s head off? The latter seems most likely as it turns out that the comedian doesn’t like anyone. But isn’t Linda Evans lovely? Isn’t she just about as nice as someone gets? They certainly are a strange bunch but that makes it all the more watchable. Give it a go,




Westworld ★★★★✩ (1973, TCM, 3.35am. Dir Michael Crichton) Written and directed by Mr Jurassic Park himself, the late great Michael Crichton, this is his earlier theme park gone awry tale. Yul Brynner is the rogue mechanoid cowboy on a hauntingly steady rampage through everybody’s supposedly tame Wild West holiday. Rather good.


Hero Wanted ★★★✩✩ (2008, Five, 10pm. Dir Brian Smrz) Fancy a bit of mid-week crash bang wallop? Voila! Cuba Gooding Jnr wakes up from a coma after organising a bank heist simply so that he could stop it and impress a till girl. Suffice to say, his plan is not followed all that closely by his co-conspirators who like the idea of grabbing cash and bumping him off. No longer in a coma, he is soon on the rampage.


The Time Machine ★★★✩✩ (2002, ITV1, 10.35pm. Dir Simon Wells) Based on the novel by HG Wells, Guy Pearce plays an inventor who creates a time machine in order to try and save his fianceé from death. Ah. But the controls need a bit of tweaking

Amelie ★★★★✩✩ (2001,Channel 4, 11.10pm. Dir JeanPierre Jeunet) Starring Audrey Tautou, Mathieu Kassovitz. Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s award-winning comedy romance about Montmartre waitress Amelie whose mission in life is to ensure people’s happiness. But she herself is without love until she glimpses Nino, who is obsessed with collecting photo-booth pictures, and decides to pursue him with clues and messages.


The Odd Couple ★★★★✩ (1968, ITV3, 10.55pm. Dir Gene Saks) Classic comedy. Felix Ungar (Jack Lemmon) has just broken up with his wife. Despondent, he goes to kill himself but is saved by his friend Oscar Madison (Walter Matthau). With nowhere else to go, Felix is urged by Oscar to move in with him, at least for a while. The only problem is that Felix is neat, tidy, and neurotic, whereas Oscar is slovenly and casual.

Monday 4

D-Tox ★★★★✩ (2002, ITV1, 11.15pm. Dir Jim Gillespi) Starring Sylvester Stallone, Kris Kristofferson. Action thriller in which a cop whose wife was brutally murdered checks himself into rehab to detox after turning to drink – and soon finds himself in the middle of another bloody nightmare. A psychotic killer is dispatching the clinic’s patients and has his targets set on the broken officer. Based on the book Jitter Joint by Howard Swindle.



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tuesday 28 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Five, 9pm To quote a certain A-Team leader: “I love it when a plan comes together.” Even more so when it’s an entire linear thread over several series as Nick recognises a 16-year-old victim and remembers each time they met over the years in a series of flashbacks. Not cheap – poignant.

Desperately Hungry Housewives BBC1, 10.35pm Ever thought about those perfect wives in their perfect houses with their perfect meals and perfect families? Bree Van Der Kamp has a lot to answer for. Looking at the real-life battles four housewives have with eating disorders behind the twitching net curtains. Perfect this ain’t.

The Thick Of It Special BBC4, 10.45pm You may have caught the film In The Loop since the last series, but here’s Malcolm Tucker back on form and having all of his wheeler dealer spinning pushed to the max (along with his trademark cussing and blinding) as the PM resigns six months too early. Bit of a clanger there. Enough for a double episode.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 4.35 Blue Peter 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Scoop 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.00 Mr Tumble 9.10 Mister Maker 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Science Clips 11.10 Science Clips 11.20 The Maths Channel 11.30 The Maths Channel 11.40 BBC Primary Arabic 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Lifeline 1.10 World Championship Snooker

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 The Biggest Loser 5.00 Golden Balls

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Will And Grace 9.55 Brothers And Sisters 10.50 Without A Trace 11.45 What’s In A Word? 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.35 FILM: A Man Alone (1955) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Play! 9.00 Rupert Bear 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Colin And Justin’s – How Not To Decorate 12.30pm Zoo Days 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Victor (2008) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Heather’s actions against Phil lead to a medical emergency. Who’d’ve thought she had it in her? 8.00 Holby City Maddy’s association with Tom puts her career in jeopardy, and Daisha has a tough decision to make concerning baby Joe’s future. Hasn’t that been pretty much his entire existance? Been dragging on for a while, this whole indecisive mother malarkey. 9.00 All The Small Things Drama about the trials and tribulations of a small town choir. The death of Binsey’s brother Edgar comes as a shock to all his friends, but there’s an even bigger surprise in store. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Desperately Hungry Housewives See highlights. 11.35 Damages Acclaimed American legal drama. While Patty readies herself for battle with UNR, Ellen discovers something that will have vast and lasting significance for Patty. Claire Maddox hazards everything to get rid of Walter Kendrick. 12.20am FILM: Color Of Night (1994) 2.15 Weatherview 2.20 Sign Zone: Best: His Mother’s Son 3.50 The Kindertransport Story 4.20 MasterChef 4.50 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. 7.00 World Championship Snooker Coverage from the quarterfinals, where the difference between winning and losing is almost £28,000. No time to be colour blind. 8.00 The Speaker Five teenagers have made it through to the semifinals of the contest, but only one of them can become The Speaker. 9.00 Cruickshank On Kew: The Garden That Changed The World As the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew, prepares to celebrate its 250th anniversary, Dan Cruickshank unearths some of the surprising stories that shaped the famous gardens. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Depeche Mode and Lily Allen make their debut performances, rock legends Sonic Youth return. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 21st Century Bach York Minster organist John Scott Whiteley plays the first of JS Bach’s virtuoso sonatas. 11.30 World Championship Snooker Highlights 12.20am World Championship Snooker Extra 2.20 BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie is at a low ebb when help arrives in the shape of an unexpected visitor from her past. Postman Pat? Maybe not that far back in her past. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Barcelona V Chelsea Steve Rider presents live coverage of the semifinal, first leg between Barcelona and Chelsea from the Nou Camp. 2006 champions Barcelona, who have been installed as favourites again, beat Bayern Munich 4-0 at home in the quarter-final. Chelsea will have to be wary of the likes of Thierry Henry, Lionel Messi and Samuel Eto’o, who have scored over 80 goals between them this season. Guus Hiddink’s men will be relying on their captain John Terry, who returns from suspension. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Cops With Cameras Britain’s police officers record their daily battles on the front line of crime. 11.35 Guinness Premiership Rugby Craig Doyle presents highlights of all the weekend’s Guinness Premiership matches, as clubs fight for a place in the semifinals in two weeks’ time. 12.25am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency 1.20 Supernatural 2.05 Loose Women 2.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Michaela sees Sarah kiss Lydia. What, old Blabbermouth McQueen? That’ll be round the village by half a second ago. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix Gok Wan shows NHS manager Lisa from Burton-on-Trent how to fall back in love with coloured clothes, and the road testers in Rotherham try to find the perfect blouse for sizes 16-28. Twigs need not apply. 9.00 Born To Be Different: Turning Eight Candid documentary exploring the pressures of living day-to-day with a disability, following six youngsters from childbirth. 10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama. In the battle to win back Liam and Stella, Frank becomes a domestic god and struggles to stay straight. 11.05 The Big Bang Theory Flatshare comedy. A disastrous visit from Leonard’s mother brings Leonard and Penny closer together. 11.35 Katy Perry: Video Exclusive 11.40 My Name Is Earl Earl and Billie are unconscious. 12.10am European Poker Tour 1.10 4Sport: Destination 2012 2.05 Gillette World Sport 2.30 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 3.00 KOTV Classics 3.50 Full Metal Challenge 4.50 Time Team 5.45 Making It 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Roman wakes up from his coma and discovers he is blind. Initially confusing we’d imagine. Blind, or eyes just having an extra day off? 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Chester Zoo. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Legend Of The Crystal Skulls: Revealed Historical documentary investigating the origins of the worldfamous crystal skulls. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation See highlights. 10.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series based on the work of forensic investigators. The team investigates the murder of a wealthy businessman. Horatio discovers that the businessman was recently married to Kyle’s mother but was about to annul the marriage. 11.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. When a man is found beaten to death, Mac and Stella encounter a gang called the Tanglewood Boys – young men who kill for sport. Insert your own ‘youth of today’ comment here. 12.00am The Shield 1.00 NBA Basketball (x2) 4.20 IndyCar 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 LIVE Cricket: County Championship 2.00pm LIVE Cricket: County Championship 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 7.30 LIVE Premier League Speedway 9.30 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Premier League Speedway 2.00 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 2.30 Revista De La Liga 3.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 4.30 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 5.00 Revista De La Liga

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 8.00 Poker 10.00 Adrenaline Adventures 10.30 PFA Awards 12.00pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 6.00 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 9.30 Mountain Bike World 10.00 Poker 11.30 NFL: Total Access 12.30am Golf: Ladies European Tour 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Poker 3.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 11.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Poker 2.00 Adrenaline Adventures 2.30 Big League Weekend 3.30 PFA Awards 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Mountain Bike World 6.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 12.00am Pool: World Cup Of Pool 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 Tru Calling 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Night Cops 10.00 Prison Break 11.00 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 12.00am Ross Kemp On Gangs

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.00 My Life As An Animal: Horses 9.00 Kirsten’s Topless Ambition 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Bizarre ER 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 My Life As An Animal: Horses 12.40am Kirsten’s Topless Ambition 1.40 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.10 Bizarre ER 2.40 Freaky Eaters

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Landscape Mysteries 8.00 Inside The Medieval Mind 9.00 Marcus Brigstocke’s Trophy People 9.30 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 10.00 Mad Men 10.45 The Thick Of It Special. See highlights. 11.45 Michael Smith’s Drivetime (x6) 2.45am I’ve Never Seen Star Wars

12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Mr And Mrs 8.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 9.00 FILM: The Interpreter (2005) 11.35 FILM: Wimbledon (2004) 1.40am Ladette To Lady

12.15pm Home To Roost 12.50 Heartbeat 1.50 Ballykissangel 2.55 Sherlock Holmes – The Last Vampyre 5.10 Home To Roost 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 Poirot 9.00 Rebecca 11.10 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Going Wrong 12.15am Poirot 1.10 Sherlock Holmes – The Last Vampyre

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville (x2) 11.00 Shameless 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 My Name Is Earl 1.30 Ugly Betty 2.20 Dark Angel

2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House?(x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Heavy Water 11.15 Come Dine With Me 12.15am Grand Designs

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 9.00 New Living With The Dead 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed


Comedy Central


Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch (x2) 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 FILM: Psych (2006) 2.00 Eli Stone 3.00 FILM: Thank Heaven (2001) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 FILM: Psych (2006) 7.00 Eli Stone 8.00 Impact 9.50 FILM: Lost City Raiders (2008) 11.50 FILM: Mansquito (2005) 2.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)

2.05pm Abbott And Costello Meet The Mummy (1955) 3.30 Dante’s Inferno (1935) 5.05 Lover Come Back (1961) 6.55 Pimpernel Smith (1941) 9.00 Broken Lance (1954) 10.40 Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 12.20am Dante’s Inferno (1935) 1.55 Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969)

10.45am A Mighty Heart (2007) 12.35pm Days Of Glory (2005) 2.40 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 4.35 Tumbleweeds (1999) 6.20 The Good German (2005) 8.10 A Mighty Heart (2007) 10.00 Mumford (1999) 12.00am Bringing Out The Dead (1999) 2.05 The Movie Geek

1.00pm Sailor Of The King (1953) 2.45 The Man In Grey (1943) 5.00 Siege At Red River (1954) 6.50 Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) 9.00 Mean Machine (2001) 11.00 Fever Pitch (1996) Colin Firth stars in this Nick Hornby adaptation and goes football mad. 1.00am Opera Jawa (2006)

9.05am Adam’s Rib (1949) 10.55 I Died A Thousand Times (1955) 1.05pm Which Way To The Front? (1970) 3.00 Best Friends (1982) 5.05 The Big Trees (1952) 7.00 Crossing Delancey (1988) 9.00 Dolores Claiborne (1995) 11.25 Lean On Me (1989) 1.25am Dolores Claiborne (1995) 3.35 Westworld (1973)

4.20pm As Time Goes By 5.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Steptoe And Son 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 11.00 Men Behaving Badly 11.40 Harry Enfield And Chums 12.20am The Royle Family

3.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am Scrubs





12:01 PM

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wednesday 29 Embarrassing Bodies Channel 4, 8pm Summer is threatening to arrive with the sun turning up on occasion and normally hidden body bits coming out squinting at the sun. Which is why this is a good time to check out the low down with Dr Christian Jessen and Pixie McKenna, getting a body MOT before the sun lotion is discounted. Eat earlier though.

Extraordinary People: Octopus Man Five, 9pm You’re either in The Apprentice camp, or fed up to the back teeth with the over eager egos and will be ever so chuffed to hear that there is an alternative. Filipino man Rudy Santos was born with three extra limbs and isn’t feeling so hot. The world is a manysplendoured thing.

Newswipe BBC4, 10.30pm Charlie Brooker has successfully transferred his grumpy yet both insightful and funny commentary of television – Screenwipe – into a solely news orientated programme, leaving the coverage of the week at the mercy of Chas’s sarcasm and snear. Well worth watching, without belittling the stories of the day.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Paradise Cafe 4.35 Blue Peter 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Freefonix 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Dani’s House 8.00 Scoop 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.00 Mr Tumble 9.10 Mister Maker 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Wildlife On Two 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 World Championship Snooker

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 The Biggest Loser 5.00 Golden Balls

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Will And Grace 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.55 Without A Trace 11.45 Post modern Pastimes 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.40 Back To You 1.10 FILM: The Cat’s Meow (2002) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Rupert Bear 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Colin And Justin’s - How Not To Decorate 12.30pm Zoo Days 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Columbo: Sex And The Married Detective (1989) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama series. Steph and Rachel lock horns over a pupil whose strange behaviour conceals a disturbing and dangerous secret. They are The Stig! Maybe not. 9.00 The Apprentice Reality series. The battle to become Sir Alan’s next apprentice heats up as the remaining candidates reach the half-way mark. Both teams hit the streets of London in a race against time to value and sell ten items of bric-a-brac. Yours for a fiver! 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Myleene Klass is live from Lottery HQ with hopes and dreams ready to squash. Squelchhhh. 10.45 The Street Eddie McAvoy meets old friend Bob Hewitt and finds he is married to his own first love, Pat. Accepting Bob’s invitation to a charity event, Eddie is out to impress Pat. Silly old sausage. 11.45 FILM: Lawless Heart (2001) Starring Tom Hollander, Bill Nighy, Douglas Henshall. Complex relationship drama. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Alan Whicker’s Journey Of A Lifetime 2.25 Grow Your Own Drugs 2.55 Country Tracks 3.50 DIY SOS 4.20 MasterChef 4.50 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. 7.00 World Championship Snooker Coverage from the concluding sessions of the 2009 quarter-finals, with the first to 13 frames moving into the last four. 8.00 The Speaker It’s the final and the three remaining teenagers get to go on the trip of a lifetime as they travel with Unicef to research children’s rights in Malawi. 9.00 Rain Documentary series about the weather looks at rain. The programme uncovers the true shape of a raindrop, shows how and why rain falls and tells stories of how we have adapted or succumbed to this elemental force of nature. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Companion discussion show to the Apprentice, with Adrian Chiles. 10.30 President Obama’s 100 Days - Newsnight Special Special edition from Chicago to mark President Obama’s first 100 days. 11.30 21st Century Bach 11.35 21st Century Bach 11.40 World Championship Snooker Highlights 12.30am Mad Men 1.20 World Championship Snooker Extra 3.20 BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl and Jimmy have a score to settle with Cain. Doesn’t everybody? 7.30 Coronation Street Eileen and Rita are distraught at Paula’s news. Ken is in turmoil over Martha. Amy tells Becky she is being bullied. One of the advantages to having a scrubber as a step-mum. 8.00 Midsomer Murders Featurelength drama about a detective whose patch is a seemingly idyllic rural district. Hear the birds tweet as they witness another foul deed. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Benidorm Instead of escaping from the resort, Martin and Kate find themselves babysitting Telle’s baby, Coolio. Of course that’s its name. 11.05 FILM: Species IV: The Awakening (2007) Starring Helena Mattsson, Ben Cross. Sci-fi sequel. Awakening from a mysterious blackout, college professor Miranda Hollander finds herself surrounded by a mass of mutilated bodies, and is horrified to discover that she is a half-human/half-alien clone. And you thought you were a harsh morning person. 12.50am The Big Tackle With Austin Healey 1.40 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sarah tries to find out if Michaela has told anyone about her kiss with Lydia. Zoe plans a night in with Sarah and Leila, but then Leila spots Sarah kissing Elliot. can she not stop with the tonsilhockey?! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Embarrassing Bodies See highlights. 9.00 Grand Designs Property series following householders as they build their own homes. Kevin McCloud revisits Ben Law, who spent 10 years fighting for planning permission to build a self-sufficient woodland cottage. Kevin finds out how the hand-crafted house has grown to suit the needs of Ben and his young family. Does grandma look a little wolfish? 10.00 Desperate Housewives US drama series set in suburbia. The women grieve for Edie. 11.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama series set on a Manchester estate. Repeat of Tuesday’s episode. 12.05am The 11th Hour Actor 1.40 3 Minute Wonder 1.45 Unreported World 2.10 Dispatches: Crash: How Long Will It Last? 3.05 3 Minute Wonder: The Gathering 3.10 The Lost Vikings Of Greenland 4.05 Time Team 5.00 Water Stories 5.05 Countdown 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Charlie and Joey admit they are in love with each other. At last! 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Michaela’s Zoo Babies Wildlife documentary series presented by Michaela Strachan which profiles breeding programmes in zoos across the UK. 8.00 Oil Riggers Documentary series following life on the oil rigs of west Texas. Oil riggers, across the universe - boldly going forward, but it’s so dangerous. ‘Nuff said. 9.00 Extraordinary People: Octopus Man See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Hero Wanted (2008) Starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Ray Liotta, Norman Reedus, Ben Cross. Tense crime thriller. A down-on-his-luck binman stages the heist purely so that he can foil it and impress a female bank teller. However, the plan goes Pete Tong and the man wakes up in hospital. He sets out to hunt down the people responsible for double crossing him. Low down... 11.45 European Open V The European Open V is back, and as always it begins with the celebrity heat. Highly addictive tosh. 1.20am V8 Supercars 2.05 Race And Rally UK 2.55 Winter X Games 3.20 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 9.30 Revista De La Liga 10.30 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 11.00 LIVE Cricket: County Championship 2.00pm LIVE Cricket: County Championship 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 LIVE ATP Tennis 9.30 Big Fight Countdown 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00am Poker 1.30 Big Fight Countdown 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Boots ‘n’ All 3.30 Big Fight Countdown 4.00 You’re On Sky Sports 5.30 Big Fight Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 Tennis: Fed Cup 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Airsports World 9.30 Mountain Bike World 10.00 Speedway: Premier League 12.00pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 3.00 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 6.30 Big Fight Countdown 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.15 You’re On Sky Sports 11.45 Big Fight Countdown 12.15am NFL: Total Access 1.15 Trans World Sport 2.15 Close

Sky Sports 3 10.00am Golf: Ladies European Tour 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Speedway Premier League 4.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 5.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Watersports World 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Adrenaline Adventures 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Fishing: Bass Fishing 12.30am Watersports World 1.30 European Tour Weekly 2.00 Showjumping 4.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








4.00pm The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Celebrity Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 FILM: Lake Placid (1999) 11.35 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 12.35am Fringe

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 FILM: It’s A Boy Girl Thing (2006) 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 Bizarre ER 11.45 Snog Marry Avoid? 12.15am The World’s Strictest Parents 1.15 Bizarre ER 1.45 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.40 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast 8.00 Victorian Farm 9.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture 10.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast 10.30 Newswipe. See highlights. 11.00 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 11.30 Pop On Trial (x2) 1.30am Batman (x2)

1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Mr And Mrs 8.00 The Chopping Block 9.00 Gossip Girl 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.30 Coronation Street 11.00 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 1.40am Teleshopping

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Ballykissangel 2.55 Sherlock Holmes: Sign Of Four 5.15 Home To Roost 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 FILM: Pride & Prejudice (2005) 11.40 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Going Wrong 12.50am Sherlock Holmes: Sign Of Four

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Full Monty (1997) 10.45 The Inbetweeners 11.20 8 Out Of 10 Cats 11.50 Scrubs (x2) 12.50am My Name Is Earl

4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show9.00 Dispatches: Crash: How Long Will It Last? 10.00 City Of Vice 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 12.05am Dispatches: Crash: How Long Will It Last?

11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI (x3) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Blood Ties


Comedy Central


Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 JFK: Inside The Target Car 10.00 I Killed John Lennon 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 FILM: Psych (2006) 2.00 Eli Stone 3.00 FILM: Deadly Invasion: The Killer Bee Nightmare (1994) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Psych 7.00 Eli Stone 8.00 Impact 9.50 FILM: The Lost Treasure Of The Grand Canyon (2008) 11.40 FILM: Black Dawn (2005) 1.30am Ghost Stories

11.00am The Blue Dahlia (1946) 12.45pm Custer Of The West (1968) 3.10 The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) 4.45 Holiday Inn (1942) 6.30 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 9.00 Hondo (1953) 10.30 The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) 12.05am Custer Of The West (1968)

10.40am Bottle Rocket (1996) 12.15pm The General (1998) 2.20 Away From Her (2006) 4.15 Year Of The Dog (2007) 5.55 Rescue Dawn (2006) 8.05 The Curse Of The Golden Flower (2006) 10.00 Bottle Rocket (1996) 11.35 Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (1998) 1.40am Quadrophenia (1979)

1.00pm The Loves Of Carmen (1948) 2.55 Gunfighters (1947) 4.40 Three Coins In The Fountain (1954) 6.40 Elizabethtown (2005) 9.00 Mean Girls (2004) LiLo exposes bitchiness in High School. 10.50 And When Did You Last See Your Father? (2007) 12.35am Ask The Dust (2006) 3

7.20am Adam’s Rib (1949) 9.05 Rio Rita (1942) 10.45 Not With My Wife You Don’t (1966) 1.05pm Swing Shift (1984) 3.00 My Giant (1998) 5.00 The Boy Who Could Fly (1986) 7.05 The Bramble Bush (1960) 9.00 The Elephant Man (1980) 11.15 Overnight Delivery (1996) 12.55am The Elephant Man (1980)

4.20pm As Time Goes By 5.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Steptoe And Son 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 11.10 Harry Enfield And Chums 11.50 Little Britain 12.30am The Royle Family

4.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 US Office 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.45 South Park (x2) 12.45am The Sarah Silverman Programme (x2)





9:47 PM

Page 1

thursday 30 Kirstie’s Homemade Home Channel 4, 8pm Remember when you used to run home from school and give your mum an ashtray you’d spent all day making only for it to crumble to bits when anyone tried to use it? This isn’t like that. This has Kirstie rummaging through a reclamation yard, getting all professional on her stencils and making a rather nice home.

Professor Regan’s... BBC2, 9pm Anyone else love a cardboard box? Vindication is here as Professor Regan investigates the lucrative world of children’s products – from toys to snacks – and declares the humble cardboard box an ideal learning tool. Hurrah! She also looks at parental guilt and which products live up to their marketing claims.

Brothers And Sisters More4, 10pm It’s like a refugee holding centre for actors that were previously in highly acclaimed series. Six Feet Under? Check! Ally McBeal? Check? ER? Check! It’s even got Rob Lowe looking as chiselled as ever, yet somehow is simply enjoyable evening fodder. Kitty’s joy at holding her son is cut short by news of Robert’s heart attack.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 4.35 Horrible Histories 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Scoop 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.00 Mr Tumble 9.10 Mister Maker 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 The Maths Channel - Year 5 11.10 Telling Tales 11.15 Telling Tales 11.20 Primary Geography 11.30 Just So Darwin 11.45 Barnaby Bear 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Championship Snooker 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. Chefs representing one of eight British regions have to make a starter, a fish course, a main course and a dessert for the judges. The chefs from the South West prepare their desserts. 7.00 World Championship Snooker Rishi Persad introduces coverage as the second semi-final gets under way. Dennis Taylor, Willie Thorne, John Virgo and Ken Doherty commentate. Captivating telly that you can easily talk over. Perfect for dinnertime! 9.00 Professor Regan’s... See highlights. 10.00 The Graham Norton Show Join Graham for his usual mix of celebrity chat, jokes, stunts and audience mischief. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 21st Century Bach Bach’s Schubler Chorale: Wo soll ich fliehen hin and Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme, are played on the organ. 11.30 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Companion discussion show to the Apprentice, with Adrian Chiles. 12.10am World Championship Snooker Highlights 1.00 BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: English 5.00 Race

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 The Biggest Loser 5.00 Golden Balls

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Will And Grace 9.55 Brothers And Sisters 10.50 Without A Trace 11.45 Postmodern Pastimes 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.30 FILM: The Hot Rock (1972) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy follows Cain in an attempt to discover where he has stashed their money. Probably not under the mattress. Darnit, do the clichés mean nothing these days? 7.30 Countrywise Paul Heiney explores Britain’s countryside. 8.00 The Bill Newly promoted Sergeant Diane Noble is feeling apprehensive as she goes out on her last shift at Sun Hill. 9.00 Taggart DI Robbie Ross starts to feel the heat when Thomas Duffy, one of his informants, is murdered, and the word ‘grass’ daubed in paint at the crime scene. Duffy’s name appeared in Ross’s contact book which was stolen by a woman Ross took home. Ross knows he must speak up, but before he does, another name from the book turns up dead. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Time Machine (2002) Starring Guy Pearce, Jeremy Irons, Samantha Mumba. Sci-fi fantasy adventure, based on the novel of the same name by HG Wells, in which a 19th-century scientist builds a time machine in an attempt to prevent the murder of his fiancee. 12.20am Motorsport UK 1.10 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency 2.00 Crossing Jordan 2.50 Loose Women 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sarah’s admission to Lydia that she is struggling with her sexuality leads to a passionate kiss. Leila tells Sarah and Zoe how she feels about Elliot, but is hurt and embarrassed when she realises he has overheard their conversation. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home See highlights. 9.00 My Wall Street As the global recession hits America’s financial centre hard, filmmaker Bruce Goodison explores the impact of the current economic crisis on those who live in ‘Wall Streets’ around Britain. Following the fortunes of individuals across the country. 10.00 Around The World In 80 Trades City analyst Conor starts the final leg of his journey on a Mexican beach, hoping to sell the 750 inflatable body boards he purchased in China and 400 bottles of tequila. 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon helps the owner of a struggling health food restaurant nestled in the heart of Hollywood, Los Angeles. 12.05am When Women Rule The World 1.05 Dubplate 1.30 Born To Be Different: Turning Eight 2.30 The Lost Gospel Of Judas 3.30 Great Civilisations 4.00 Time Team 4.55 Countdown 5.40 Cubeez 5.50 Hoobs

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.45 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Play! 9.00 Rupert Bear 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Colin And Justin’s - How Not To Decorate 12.30pm Zoo Days 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Let Me Call You Sweetheart (1997) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ruby discovers Charlie and Joey’s relationship. There it is! 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Chester Zoo. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Animal Rescue Squad In South Africa, snake expert Shaun Boddington investigates reports of a large black snake in a back garden. Could it be a deadly black mamba? 8.00 I Own Britain’s Best Home 2009 Michael gets in touch with his creative side at an arts-and-crafts mansion, Melissa has some wholesome fun at a Georgian farmhouse and Russell gets the fivestar treatment in a 19th-century town house. Casing the joints, eh? 9.00 The Mentalist Drama series. A severed hand found on the NevadaCalifornia state border leads the agents into the murky world of highstakes gambling. To get to the truth, Patrick must play a dangerous game. Russian roulette? Fancy dress Twister? 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. A series of murders of homeless people is linked to a women suffering from dementia. 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. The detectives investigate the attempted suicide of a 14-year-old girl. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NBA Basketball 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Big Fight Countdown 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 European Tour Weekly 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Big Fight Countdown 1.30 Boots ‘n’ All 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Big Fight Countdown 3.30 Live European Tour Golf 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 Big Fight Countdown 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 Big Fight Countdown 11.00 The Rugby Club 12.30am Big Fight Countdown 1.00 Darts: Premier League 4.30 Big Fight Countdown 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders As Heather is rescued by Minty, Garry and Ben from her asthma attack, the doctor has some surprising news about her condition. It’s tied in to her remarkable dress sense? 8.00 My Family Sitcom about a dentist and his family. An undercover assessor for Cavitex, posing as a patient, leads to Ben having to attend a retraining course. 8.30 DIY SOS Nick Knowles and his skillful builders are in Bradford to renovate a lounge for Emma and her nine year old son Thomas. 9.00 Crimewatch Kirsty Young and the team work with the police to appeal for help in cracking unsolved cases. Stories include the hunt for the killers of an innocent 20-year-old shot, and how investigators cracked one of the most sophisticated counterfeiting frauds. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Crimewatch Update Updates on the cases. Don’t have nightmares. 10.45 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the political debate. 11.45 This Week 12.30am Holiday Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.05 Watchdog 1.35 Countryfile 2.30 DIY SOS 3.00 MasterChef 4.00 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 Tennis: Fed Cup 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Showjumping 10.30 Total Rugby 11.00 Boots ‘n’ All 12.00pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 6.00 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 9.30 Golf Night 11.30 NFL: Total Access 12.30am National Rugby League 2.30 Big Fight Countdown 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 The Rugby Club 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 10.55am LIVE Cricket: County Championship 3.00pm LIVE Cricket: County Championship 6.00 NFL: Total Access 7.00 Adrenaline Adventures 7.30 LIVE National Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Mountain Bike World 1.00 Golf Night 3.00 Race World 4.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 Tru Calling 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Ross Kemp On Gangs 1.00 Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 My Life As An Animal 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 My Life As An Animal 12.45am Don’t Tell The Bride 1.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

7.00pm News 7.40 The New Avengers 8.30 Wainwright Walks 9.00 Farm To Pharma 10.00 Flight Of The Conchords Special 10.30 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 11.00 Newswipe 11.30 Farm To Pharma 12.30am I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 1.00 Newswipe 1.30 Flight Of The Conchords Special

1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy 6.30 Creature Comforts 6.45 Beat The Star 8.00 American Idol 9.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 10.00 The Justin Lee Collins Show 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am American Idol

2.35pm Sherlock Holmes: Hound Of The Baskervilles 4.40 Monarch Of The Glen 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Under The Greenwood Tree 11.05 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Going Wrong 12.10am The Life And Crimes Of William Palmer (x2)

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 My Name Is Earl 9.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.00 The Inbetweeners 10.35 Star Stories 11.05 Reno 911 (x2) 12.00am Scrubs (x2)

4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 ER 10.00 Brothers And Sisters. See highlights. 11.00 Without A Trace 12.00am ER 1.00 Brothers And Sisters

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Pop Goes The Band 9.00 CSI 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Trophy Wives 3.00 Missing


Comedy Central


Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Arthur Shawcross: Serial Killers 10.00 Crime Scene Forensics 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Psych 2.00 Star Trek 3.00 FILM: The Dead Will Tell (2004) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Psych 7.00 FILM: Warbirds (2008) 9.00 Sanctuary 10.00 FILM: Submerged (2005) 11.50 FILM: Abominable (2006) 2.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Medium

12.25pm Sunset Boulevard (1950) 2.20 Duel In The Sun (1946) 4.30 Louisiana Purchase (1941) 6.10 The Sound Of Music (1965) 9.00 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 10.45 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 12.35am I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969) 2.25 Duel In The Sun (1946)

1.05pm Mulholland Drive (2001) 3.35 Remnants Of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007) 5.25 The Movie Geek 5.55 The Last King Of Scotland (2006) 8.00 Breaking And Entering (2006) 10.00 The Counterfeiters (2007) 11.40 Eastern Promises (2007) 1.25am Happiness (1999)

1.00pm In Old California (1942) 2.50 The Eve Of Saint Mark (1944) 4.50 Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962) 6.50 Mighty Joe Young (1998) 9.00 Charlotte Gray (2001) 11.25 Internal Affairs (1990) 1.45am The Rules Of Attraction (2002) Anarchic young people are nasty to each other. Artfully.

8.40am Anchors Aweigh (1945) 11.10 The Good Guys And The Bad Guys (1969) 12.55pm Sweet November (1968) 3.00 Crazy In Love (1992) 4.45 Classic Shorts 08 5.05 A Star Is Born (1954) 8.30 The Screening Room 9.00 Possession (2002) 10.55 Boogie Nights (1997) 1.45am Possession (2002)

3.40pm Just Good Friends 4.20 As Time Goes By 5.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 The Green Green Grass 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 11.20 Men Behaving Badly 12.00am The Thin Blue Line

3.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am Scrubs





12:01 PM

Page 1

friday 1 Boy Meets Girl ITV1, 9pm Following the current cinema trend of body swap hilarity comes this British comedy starring Martin Freeman – originally – as struggling DIY man Danny, who wakes up one morning in the body of fashion journalist Veronica. Will he find his body? Will he lose her job? Will he manage to fend off her boyfriend?

Reggie Perrin BBC1, 9.30pm Do you like it? Do you hate the mere idea of it? Did you never see it the first time round and think this is really quite a good lark? Whatever your political stance on the Reggie Perrin re-invention you’ve got to admit it’s a stellar cast still working off a rather fab idea. Reggie gets badgered by parental types.

Mad Men BBC4, 11.30pm Almost equally a sociological study into attitudes of the 1960s as it is a compelling drama series, Mad Men’s advertising execs are behaving as badly as ever. Pete’s personal problems impact on a major account. Meanwhile, there’s slight disruption with the introduction of Joan’s fiancé to the office staff.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Animals At Work 4.35 Trapped 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Freefonix 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Dani’s House 8.00 Scoop 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.00 Mr Tumble 9.10 Mister Maker 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Razzledazzle 11.30 Science Clips Investigates 11.40 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Championship Snooker 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. 7.00 World Championship Snooker Rishi Persad introduces action from the penultimate session of the first semi-final. Dennis Taylor, Willie Thorne, John Virgo and Ken Doherty commentate. You stare gormlessly at a bunch of balls and wonder at the impressive feats of triganomotry that send them down holes. Bosh! 9.00 English Heritage What is the largest, listed building in Europe? Not a cathedral, not a castle, instead it is Park Hill Estate in Sheffield, a crumbling 1950’s concrete monolith that dominates the city’s skyline. Saving Park Hill was supposed to be about bringing English Heritage up to date. However, it turns into a complex row costing the taxpayer £40 million. 10.00 Genius Comedy series. Dave Gorman’s special guest in examining the genius of the public is the comedian and writer Stewart Lee. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 Later With Jools Holland Extended version of Tuesday’s show. 12.40am World Championship Snooker 1.30 Medium (x2) 2.55 FILM: The Fiend (1971)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 The Biggest Loser 5.00 Golden Balls

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Will And Grace 10.00 FILM: How To Marry A Millionaire (1953) 11.50 My Eden 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Postmodern Pastimes 12.50 The City Gardener 1.25 FILM: Hanover Street (1979) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.45 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Play! 9.00 Rupert Bear 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Colin And Justin’s – How Not To Decorate 12.30pm Zoo Days 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Raising Waylon (2004) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sandy’s love letter to Betty spells trouble for Jimmy. Is it written in code or Summit? How can ‘letter’ spell ‘trouble’ otherwise? 7.30 Coronation Street Martha and Ken’s affair heats up. Lloyd is stunned by Liz’s confession. What could she possibly have done that he doesn’t already know about? He’s met Steve. 8.00 Celebrity Chefs In Trouble: Tonight Celebrity chefs like Gordon Ramsay and Antony Worrall Thompson have inspired a generation to get cooking. But if their own highprofile restaurants are struggling in the credit crunch, what does that mean for your favourite eatery? 8.30 Coronation Street Ken contemplates a future with Martha. Wobbly. She’s on a boat. Dur. 9.00 Boy Meets Girl See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Pushing Daisies Series finale of the quirky US drama about a man who can bring the dead back to life. One half of the rivals of the Darling Mermaid Darlings is murdered. 11.35 FILM: The Rat Pack (1998) Starring Ray Liotta, Joe Mantegna, Don Cheadle, Angus MacFadyen. Controversial Emmy award-winning drama about the notorious Rat Pack. 1.40am FILM: On The Edge (2001) 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mike struggles to deal with all the women living in his flat and Myra’s unrequited crush makes matters worse. It would do. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Unreported World Peter Oborne travels to the Afghan capital Kabul to reveal a city in chaos and plagued with violence, and looks at what life is like for ordinary citizens. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Suburban couple Mandy and Alan Haden look for a holiday home to escape to, with the East Midlands and Malta their possible destinations. Places beginning with ‘M’. 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon attempts to transform the fortunes of J Willy’s Bar and Grille in Indiana, which is over a million dollars in debt. 10.00 FILM: Little Nicky (2000) Starring Adam Sandler, Harvey Keitel, Rhys Ifans. Fantasy comedy. Deciding against retirement, Satan angers two of his ambitious sons. Whoops. 11.40 Shockwaves Album Chart Show: The Enemy Special 12.10am 4 Music: JD Set Presents: Howling Bells 12.30 4Play: Maccabees 12.40 No Angels 1.40 MESH: Love Tube 1.45 World Superbikes 2.10 Freesports On 4 (x2) 3.05 Hill Street Blues 3.50 Great Civilisations 4.20 Time Team 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Trey drops his accusations against Miles and Kirsty. Is it ‘grow-up’ time already? 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Chester Zoo. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Mobil 1 The Grid Motor sport action. This edition takes a close-up look at drifting, a type of driving in which cars deliberately oversteer. 8.00 Police Interceptors: Special Edition Natalie Pinkham presents the documentary series that profiles the work of a police interception unit. 9.00 NCIS Drama series following the work of the Navy’s dedicated federal agency. Assistant ME Jimmy Palmer finds himself at the centre of a labyrinthine murder investigation when he comes under fire at a crime scene. Is it from a minotaur? 10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama series about a maths genius recruited by the FBI. The agents probe the mysterious death of a scientist at a high-tech research facility. The number-one suspect is a supercomputer that may or may not possess artificial intelligence. Hmm. 11.00 Criminal Minds Drama series following the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit. A serial killer who has been inactive for 20 years threatens to kill again within five days. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away .

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Big Fight Countdown 9.30 Trans World Sport 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.30pm Big Fight Countdown 1.00 The Rugby Club 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 Big Fight Countdown 3.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.30 Off The Bar 6.00 Big Fight Countdown 6.30 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Rugby Union: European Challenge Cup 10.00 Big Fight Countdown 10.30 Big League Weekend 11.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 12.00am Big Fight Countdown 12.30 Off The Bar 1.00 Big League Weekend 2.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.30 Big Fight Countdown 3.00 Off The Bar 3.30 Big League Weekend 4.30 Big Fight Countdown 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 Volvo Ocean Race

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker is in the chair as she hosts another episode of the long-running sports quiz. Is it a long distance running quiz, then? Sorry. 8.00 EastEnders Jay has organised a surprise birthday party for Billy. 8.30 Total Wipeout Fast Forward Another chance to follow the trials and tribulations, of the first series of the biggest, daftest, muddiest obstacle course ever. Someone who had fun with mud pies grew up to wield welly at the BBC, obviously. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 9.30 Reggie Perrin See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Joined by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and this year’s British Eurovision hope, Jade Ewen. Plus comic Rob Brydon and supermodelturned-author Sophie Dahl. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: Dark Water (2005) Starring Jennifer Connelly, John Reilly. Psychological horror. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Yellowstone 2.20 DIY SOS 2.50 MasterChef 3.50 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Adrenaline Adventures 9.30 The Rugby Club 11.00 Big Fight Countdown 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 6.00 Adrenaline Adventures 6.30 Volvo Ocean Race 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 9.30 Volvo Ocean Race 10.00 Super 14 Rugby 12.00am European Rugby: Challenge Cup 2.00 Super 14 Rugby 4.00 NFL: Total Access 5.00 Adrenaline Adventures 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 7.25am Darts: Premier League 11.00 LIVE Cricket: County Championship 6.00pm Barclays Premier League Preview 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 3.00 Tight Lines 4.00 Gillette World Sport 4.30 Volvo Ocean Race 5.00 Race World Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








3.00pm Cold Case 4.00 The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 FILM: Lake Placid (1999) 11.35 Prison Break 12.35am Alex Zane’s Guest List With Ricky Hatton 1.05 Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Freaky Eaters 9.00 Kirsten’s Topless Ambition 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Bizarre ER 12.45 My Life As An Animal: Dogs 1.45 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.15 Two Pints Of Lager

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Playing Elizabeth’s Tune 9.00 Blues Brittania: Can Blue Men Play The Whites? 10.30 Blues At The BBC 11.30 Mad Men. See highlights. 12.15am The New Avengers 1.10 Blues Brittania: Can Blue Men Play The Whites? 2.40 Blues At The BBC

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Britain’s Got Talent 8.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 9.00 American Idol 10.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am The Justin Lee Collins Show 1.00 American Idol

1.55pm Ballykissangel 3.00 Sherlock Holmes: The Eligible Bachelor 5.15 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 FILM: An Ideal Husband (1999) 11.05 FILM: The Odd Couple II (1998) 1.05am Sherlock Holmes: The Eligible Bachelor

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix 10.05 Celebrity Wife Swap 11.05 Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 My Name Is Earl

2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 FILM: The Ice Storm (1997) 12.15am Grand Designs (x2)

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 CSI 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Criminal Minds 3.00 Missing


Comedy Central


Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Mythbusters 9.00 Treasure Quest 10.00 Tuna Wars 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Tornado (2004) 3.00 FILM: Lost City Raiders (2008) 5.00 Joe 90 (x2) 5.55 Stingray (x2) 7.00 Thunderbirds 8.10 FILM: Termination Point (2007) 10.00 FILM: Ogre (2008) 11.50 FILM: Child’s Play 3 (1991)

10.05am Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 11.55 Indiscreet (1958) 1.40pm Titanic (1953) 3.20 The War Lord (1965) 5.25 Island In The Sky (1953) 7.15 The Lost Weekend (1945) 9.00 Titanic (1953) 10.45 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 12.35am Kiss Of The Vampire (1963)

9.00am The Serpent (2006) 11.05 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 1.35pm Water (2005) 3.35 The Tango Lesson (1997) 5.20 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 7.50 The General (1998) 10.00 Mississippi Burning (1988) 12.10am Bringing Out The Dead (1999) 2.15 Requiem For A Dream (2000)

1.00pm Five Against The House (1955) 2.40 Wake Of The Red Witch (1949) 4.45 It Happened To Jane (1959) 6.40 Batman And Robin (1997) The infamous Batman film which introduced nipples to the bat suit. 9.00 X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) 11.00 LA Confidential (1997) 1.40am Copland (1997)

9.15am The Big Sleep (1946) 11.20 The Charge At Feather River (1953) 1.05pm A Big Hand For The Little Lady (1966) 3.00 The Go-Between (1970) 5.10 Springfield Rifle (1952) 6.55 Best Friends (1982) 9.00 Caddyshack (1980) 11.00 Star 80 (1983) 1.05am Fathers’ Day (1997) 3.00 Star 80 (1983)

4.20pm As Time Goes By 5.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 The Green Green Grass 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 11.15 French And Saunders: Titanic Special 12.20am Only Fools And Horses

4.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.00 The Sarah Silverman Programme 11.30 Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live 12.40am The Sarah Silverman Programme





12:57 PM

Page 1

saturday 2 Robin Hood BBC1, 6.20pm Drama retelling the classic legend. Prince John pays a long-awaited visit to Nottingham, and he is out to make mischief. With Gisborne and the Sheriff assigned a royal mission, it surely spells the end for one of them. Meanwhile, Robin is up to mischief of his own, but who is the lucky woman?

Henry VIII: Mind Of A Tyrant Channel 4, 6.45pm Dr David Starkey presents a four-part biography on Henry VIII. Henry, having inherited a weak English crown, forged it into an instrument of unprecedented power and then wielded it to change forever the nature of England. As Henry grew older he became increasingly dangerous to those close to him.

Rock Family Trees BBC4, 11pm A series that takes a fresh look at pop history, using family trees to explore the dramas that lie behind some of the bands. Fleetwood Mac, has survived many different line-ups, but band members have paid a high price for their success. Key figures such as Mick Fleetwood and Stevie Nicks tell the band’s story.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Take On The Takeaway 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 World Championship Snooker 4.30 Final Score 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.50 Wolverine And The X-Men 8.15 Sportsround 8.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.50 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.00 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 9.30 Hotel Trubble 9.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 10.00 Dani’s House 10.30 Dani’s House 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Young Dracula 12.00pm Kyle XY 12.45 Winging It 1.15 Teen America 1.30 Sound 2.00 Coast 2.15 FILM: Barabbas (1962) 4.30 World Championship Snooker 5.30 Planet Earth 6.30 Dad’s Army Captain Mainwaring and his platoon are instructed to guard a captive U-boat crew. Are they up to the job? 7.00 World Championship Snooker Rishi Persad is at the Crucible for the climax of the second semi-final where the winner will pocket at least 125,000 pounds. 10.00 Have I Got A Little Bit More News For You Topical news quiz with Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 10.40 The Apprentice Reality series. The battle to become Sir Alan’s next apprentice heats up as the remaining candidates reach the half-way mark. Both teams hit the streets of London in a race against time to value and sell ten items of bric-a-brac, including a medical skeleton, a box of books and a pair of vintage shoes. Warned not to take anything at face value, they must determine the real worth of their goods and filter the hidden gem from the red herrings. Who will find themselves in the firing line? 11.40 FILM: Das Boot (1981) Starring Jürgen Prochnow, Herbert Grönemeyer, Klaus Wennemann, Hubertus Bengsch, Martin Semmelrogge and Bernd Tauber. Powerful tale of submarine warfare based on the semiautobiographical novel Das Boot by Lothar-Guenther Buchheim. 3.00am Mad Men

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.25 Countrywise 10.55 Quincy, ME 11.55 FILM: Columbo: Ransom For A Dead Man (1971) 1.45pm ITV News And Weather 1.50 FILM: Carry On Screaming (1966) 3.40 FILM: The Flintstones In Viva Rock Vegas (2000) 5.20 Meridian News And Weather 5.35 ITV News And Weather 5.50 You’ve Been Framed!

6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 MSA Formula Ford Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 One Tree Hill 9.45 Friends 10.15 Friends 10.45 Pussycat Dolls Vs Destiny’s Child: Top Ten 11.50 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.55pm Scrubs 1.25 Scrubs 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.20 All Star Mr And Mrs Phillip Schofield and Fern Britton present the first in a new series of the ultimate entertainment relationship show as three celebrity couples try to win money for the charity of their choice. 7.20 Primeval When Christine Johnson and the military invade the ARC, the team are forced to flee. They take refuge in an abandoned 1930s cabin in the woods, but it is not long before danger appears in the form of vicious Pliocene-era phorusrhacids or ‘terror birds’. 8.20 Britain’s Got Talent The auditions continue, featuring more of the thousands of acts hoping to win the 100,000 pound prize and a slot at this year’s Royal Variety Performance. 9.20 FILM: X2 (2003) Starring Patrick Stewart. Marvel Comics superhero sequel. A mutant attack on the President leads the dangerous General Stryker to target the X-Men. Forced to team up with their archenemy Magneto, the X-Men find themselves in more danger than ever. 11.40 ITV News And Weather 11.55 Six Degrees US drama series about six New Yorkers and their connections to one another. 12.55am FILM: Osmosis Jones (2001) 2.25 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime. 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 Come Dine With Me Belfast cafe owner Caroline Teeling survives Jon’s attempts to give her a hangover and devises a modern, restaurantstyle menu to wow her guests. But her husband is a chef in one of Northern Ireland’s best restaurants will the others feel that she has an unfair advantage? 6.30 Channel 4 News 6.45 Henry VIII: Mind Of A Tyrant See highlights. 7.45 Henry VIII’s Lost Palaces: A Time Team Special Special edition of the archaeological series to mark the 500th anniversary of Henry VIII’s accession to the throne. By the end of his reign, Henry had no fewer than 55 buildings to his name, many of which he had designed, built or renovated himself. Tony Robinson and the team revisit some of his greatest works. 9.20 FILM: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) Starring Vince Vaughn. Anarchic comedy concerning the efforts of a hapless gym proprietor and his clients to fend off the acquisitive attentions of a rival bodybuilding empire. 11.10 FILM: Amelie (2001) See film highlights. 1.25am FILM: The Crazies (1973) 3.15 Hill Street Blues 4.05 Time Team 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Cubeez 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00am Kid’s TV 8.00 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 Animal Families 8.35 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.05 Roary The Racing Car 9.20 Rupert Bear 9.35 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.30 The Gadget Show Big Experiment 11.30 Oil Riggers 12.35pm Zoo Days 12.40 FILM: Back To The Secret Garden (2001) 2.45 FILM: Anatomy Of A Murder (1959) 5.45 Five News 5.55 FILM: Sabrina The Teenage Witch (1996) 7.25 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. A navy officer’s wife and his blind daughter are kidnapped and taken hostage, with the perpetrators holding the captain in his own office, watching every move he makes via a computer camera. 8.20 NCIS Drama series following the work of the Navy’s dedicated federal agency. The team searches for a serial killer using clues from an old manual for good wives. 9.20 CSI: NY The CSIs piece together vital evidence when a Manhattan house is destroyed by a lethal pipe bomb. Danny and Lindsay reach a crossroads in their relationship. 10.20 Law And Order A star basketball player is suspected of murdering a fan who harassed him. When charged with the crime, he pleads guilty to killing the man, but insists he was acting in self-defence. 11.20 NCIS Drama series following the work of the Navy’s federal agency. Assistant ME Jimmy Palmer finds himself at the centre of a labyrinthine murder investigation when he comes under fire at a crime scene. 12.20am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 House Doctor x2

6.00am Off The Bar 6.30 Big League Weekend 7.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.30 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 Live Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE European Rugby 7.55 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.00 BBC News 6.10 South East Today 6.20 Robin Hood See highlights. 7.05 Tonight’s The Night John Barrowman makes the nation’s performing dreams come true. 8.05 The National Lottery: 1 Vs 100 Ben Shephard hosts another edition of the popular quiz show. Plus Jenni Falconer is live from Lottery HQ. 8.55 BBC News 9.10 Casualty Jordan’s secret is finally revealed. 10.00 Reggie Perrin With both Reggie’s mother and Nicola’s father interfering in his marriage, and his inability to get on with people at work, Reggie Perrin finds himself taking a step too far with Jasmine. 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the day’s Premier League games. 11.50 FILM: Biker Boyz (2003) Fastaction drama, starring Laurence Fishburne. Two radical biker gangs set out to prove who the fastest riders on the scene are. When the gifted young rider, whose father was himself a former mechanic for the older rider but died following an accident, is prohibited from joining the Black Knights, he forms the Biker Boyz to try become the best biker and carry on his father’s name. 1.35am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.35 Weatherview 2.40 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 European Rugby: Challenge Cup 8.30 Super 14 Rugby 10.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 12.30pm LIVE European Rugby: Challenge Cup 2.30 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 3.00 LIVE Super League: Magic Weekend 5.00 LIVE Super League: Magic Weekend 7.00 LIVE Super League: Magic Weekend 9.00 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 9.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.00 The Super 14 Show 12.00am Gillette World Sport 12.30 Live NASCAR 4.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 5.30 Volvo Ocean Race

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Fishing: Bass Fishing 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Race World 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 WWE The Bottom Line 12.00pm Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 12.30 Live European Tour Golf 4.30 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE Late Night Smackdown 2.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 Max Power

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1








2.00pm Live Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 3.30 Malcolm In The Middle 4.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 American Gladiators 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 Lost: Story Of The Oceanic Six 10.00 Bones (x2) 12.00am Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 1.00 Cold Case

7.00pm Outtakes: US Presidents 7.10 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.10 Top Gear 9.15 Live At The Apollo 10.00 FILM: It’s A Boy Girl Thing (2006) 11.30 Family Guy 11.50 American Dad! 12.15am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.45 Bizarre ER 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 2.15 Drinking With The Girls

7.00pm In Search Of Speed 8.00 Blues At The BBC 9.00 Bobby Bland 10.00 Blues On Later...with Jools Holland 11.00 Rock Family Trees. See highlights. 11.55 Originals: Long John Baldry 12.40am John Mayall: 40 Years Of The Blues 1.40 Blues At The BBC 2.40 Bobby Bland 5.30 Close

2.05pm Planet’s Funniest Animals 2.20 Gossip Girl 3.20 Britain’s Got More Talent 4.20 American Idol (x2) 6.20 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 8.20 Animals Do The Funniest Things 9.20 Britain’s Got More Talent 10.20 The Justin Lee Collins Show 11.20 Britain’s Got Talent 12.20am Britain’s Got More Talent

12.20pm PD James: Devices And Desires 1.25 My Uncle Silas 2.30 FILM: Shadowlands (1993) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Wycliffe 7.00 A Touch Of Frost 9.00 Taggart 10.40 Cracker 11.45 Inspector Morse 1.40am Missing Persons 2.30 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.25 On The Buses 3.50 Film File

10.00am The Simple Life (x2) 10.55 Dark Angel (x2) 12.45pm Roswell (x2) 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl 7.30 The Big Bang Theory 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 100 Greatest Stand-Ups 1.00am Dark Angel 1.55 The Simple Life 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus

9.00am A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 10.00 Time Team (x5) 3.05pm FILM: River Of No Return (1954) 4.55 Grand Designs (x5) 10.00 Ronnie Kray And The Pervert Peer 11.10 The Real Casino Royale 12.15am The West Wing 1.15 Ronnie Kray And The Pervert Peer 2.20 The Real Casino Royale 3.25 Close

12.00pm Charmed 1.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 2.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 3.00 Will And Grace 3.30 Will And Grace 4.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) Passport Patrol (x2) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 Eurotrash: The Sexy Bits (x2) 12.00am Ghost Hunters 1.00 Charmed


Comedy Central


Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



3.00pm Cave Of The Glowing Skulls 4.00 Forensic Detectives 5.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 6.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 7.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 8.00 Whale Wars 9.00 Undercover: Double Life 10.00 Hard Time: Alaska 11.00 Crime Scene Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

11.00am Star Trek (x10) 8.30pm Haunted Homes 9.30 Medium 10.30 FILM: Warbirds (2008) 12.20am FILM: Deadly Water (2006) 2.00 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Tornado (2004) 4.00 Star Trek(x2)

1.30pm The Producers (1968) 3.05 Romanoff & Juliet (1961) 4.45 The Movie Geek 5.15 A Place In The Sun (1951) 7.20 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 9.00 The Producers (1968) 10.35 Fourteen Hours (1951) 12.20am Road To Morocco (1942) 1.50 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969)

10.35am The Last King Of Scotland (2006) 12.40pm A Mighty Heart (2007) 2.30 Rushmore (1998) 4.10 The Escapist (2001) 5.50 The Last King Of Scotland (2006) 7.55 Jindabyne (2006) 10.00 A Mighty Heart (2007) 11.50 The Escapist (2001) 1.30am Rushmore (1998)

1.00pm The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) 2.40 The Lost World (1960) 4.35 A Room With A View (1986) 6.50 Crocodile Dundee II (1988) 9.00 Mean Machine (2001) 11.00 Harsh Times (2005) 1.15am Cherry Falls (2000) 3.20 Close

8.55am The Defector (1966) 10.45 Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951) 12.55pm Bombers B-52 (1957) 3.00 The Elephant Man (1980) 5.25 Carson City (1952) 7.05 Funny Farm (1988) 9.00 In Love And War (1996) 11.20 Wait Until Dark (1967) 1.20am In Love And War (1996) 3.20 The Hunger (1983)

6.00am Waiting For God 6.40 The Two Ronnies 7.40 Bread 8.15 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 8.55 Only Fools And Horses (x12) 9.00pm FILM: SpiderMan 2 (2004) 11.30 Only Fools And Horses 1.10am Charlie’s Angels (x2) 3.00 Home Shopping

4.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Dara O’Briain Live At The Theatre Royal 11.15 FILM: Dumb And Dumber (1994) 1.15am Comedy Store (x3)





4:30 PM

Page 1

sunday 3 Martin Clunes: Islands Of Britain ITV, 9pm Series following Martin Clunes as he explores some of the islands around the coast of Britain. Tonight he travels to the most secluded islands in Scotland including a hazardous trip to Muckle Flugga, the last outpost of the British Isles and meets a Viking called Derek.

The Secret Millionaire Channel 4, 9pm Another self-made millionaire steps up to the mark to help out. Beauty industry magnate Rob Calcraft ventures undercover in Barrow-in-Furness, a town described as the most working class in Britain. He encounters a community where giving is more valued than who you are and what you have.

Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture BBC4, 8.30pm and 12am Documentary series about the history of 20th century farming in Britain looks at wheat and how the country became selfsufficient in breadmaking wheat after the Second World War. Told through the working lives and home movie archives of wheat farming families.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Keeping Up Appearances 1.30 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.00 Cash In The Attic 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 EastEnders 5.40 Points Of View 5.55 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 ChuckleVision 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Three Delivery 7.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 8.00 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 8.30 M.I. High 8.57 The Owl 9.00 Escape From Scorpion Island 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm Animal Park 12.30 MotoGP 2009: Round 3 – Jerez 2.00 World Championship Snooker 5.25 Carry On In Rude Health 5.30 FILM: Carry On Again, Doctor (1969)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.40 FILM: The Best Of Benny Hill (1974) 1.15pm ITV News And Weather 1.20 FILM: Like Mike (2002) 3.10 Britain’s Got Talent 4.10 FILM: Mission: Impossible (1996)

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Vendee Globe 7.30 Vendee Globe 8.00 Freesports On 4 8.55 Friends 9.25 Wolverine: T4 Movie Special 9.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.25pm Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 1.30 The Big Bang Theory 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.05 The Simpsons 4.35 The Simpsons 5.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.45 Supernanny US

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm Football League 3.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 Football League 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Football League 1.00 Spanish Football 3.00 Ford Football Special 4.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 5.00 Football League

6.30 Last Of The Summer Wine Hobbo is still having trouble getting Nelly to admit that she is his natural birth mother. To get the proof he needs, he fits Howard up with an eavesdropping wire to pick up Nelly talking to Pearl. When did Last Of The Summer Wine get infiltrated by Jeremy Kyle?! 7.00 BBC News 7.15 South East Today 7.30 Countryfile Countryfile. 8.30 Inspector George Gently During their investigation of the murder of a lonely old man in his dilapidated mansion, Gently and Bacchus stumble upon a world which is beyond their comprehension. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles and guests offer the last word on the weekend’s Premier League action. 11.10 Damages Patty makes a decision that jeopardises Tom. 11.55 FILM: Isn’t She Great (2000) Starring Bette Midler. Comic biopic of Jacqueline Susann, the unsuccessful actress who became famous for her trashy Hollywood potboiler Valley Of The Dolls and her troubled and welldocumented private life. 1.25am The Sky At Night 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: DIY SOS 2.20 Sign Zone: Holby City 3.20 Sign Zone: All The Small Things 4.20 BBC News

6.55 Carry On Talking The competition s hotting up in the oratary competition. 7.00 The Story Of The Car Show On TV A history of petrol heads on the box, from Noel Edmonds and Angela Rippon in Top Gear to the gob on a stick tyre bleeders making their cult status felt today. 8.00 World Championship Snooker Ray Stubbs and Rishi Persad introduce live coverage from the second session of the final. Steve Davis and John Parrott are on hand to offer their insight. 11.00 The Graham Norton Show Uncut Join Graham for his usual mix of celebrity chat, jokes, stunts and audience mischief. 11.45 Heroes Drama series about people dealing with their newly discovered superpowers. As Nathan, Claire, Peter and HRG help Angela uncover her past, she reveals the dark secrets that have haunted her for years. Mohinder learns of his father’s involvement in a long forgotten government operation. 12.30am BBC News

6.15 Meridian News And Weather 6.30 ITV News And Weather 6.45 Beat The Star Vernon Kay hosts the show in which a brave member of the public takes on a competitive celeb in a bid to win £50,000. 8.00 Heartbeat Prejudices are stirred by the arrival of a group of Taoist monks. The phrase ‘You’re not from ‘round ‘ere’ is likely to be used’. 9.00 Martin Clunes: Islands Of Britain See highlights. 10.00 ITV News And Weather a 10.15 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Neil Morrissey presents another collection of risqué bloopers from the land of small screen. 10.55 The Championship Matt Smith reviews all the action from the final day of the season in the CocaCola Championship and Leagues One and Two. 11.55 The Big Tackle With Austin Healey In the last programme of the series, former England international Austin Healey revisits all the grassroots rugby clubs he has been working with and checks on the progress they have made. 12.55am The Cosby Mysteries 1.50 Quincy, ME 2.40 Celebrity Chefs In Trouble: Tonight 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.45 Channel 4 News 7.00 Child Genius Documentary series following the lives of gifted children growing up in Britain. This return visit to the prodigies first introduced last year focuses on the teenagers of the group. Aimee, aged 13, has won a prestigious piano competition, but teenage hormones are straining her family life. 8.00 Come Dine With Me Four competitive cooks from Wolverhampton try to host the perfect dinner party. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire See highlights. 10.00 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night A weekly topical entertainment show. 10.50 FILM: Get Over It (2001) Starring Kirsten Dunst. Teen comedy about a high-school boy who is devastated when his girlfriend jilts him, so he decides to audition for a role in the school production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in a bid to prove his love. During his acting lessons, however, he begins to fall for his best friend’s little sister and is forced to decide if he really wants his ex-girlfriend back in his life. 12.30am FILM: Jab We Met (2007) 3.15 Hill Street Blues Hill Street 4.05 Time Team 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Cubeez 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.20 Franklin 7.45 Hana’s Helpline 8.00 Olivia 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Animal Families 8.40 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.05 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 Great Edinburgh Run 11.30 Build A New Life In The Country: Was It Worth It? 12.30pm Michaela’s Zoo Babies 1.00 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 1.30 FILM: Finian’s Rainbow (1968) 4.10 FILM: Awakenings (1990) 6.20 Five News 6.25 FILM: The Mask Of Zorro (1998) Starring Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Catherine Zeta Jones. Swashbuckling romantic adventure as an ageing Zorro escapes from prison to avenge the murder of his wife and the kidnapping of his daughter twenty years earlier. Recruiting an outlaw and teaching him everything he knows, the masked hero sets about defeating the murderer and his plan to establish an independent Republic of California. 9.00 FILM: The Devil’s Own (1997) Starring Harrison Ford, Brad Pitt.Controversial thriller about an Irish-American cop who wrestles with his conscience when he learns that his new lodger is an undercover IRA operative on a mission to buy weapons. The morally upright cop has sympathy for the young man’s tragic past, but cannot condone his actions. 11.10 FILM: Brubaker (1980) Starring Robert Redford. Powerful and thought-provoking drama about an unorthodox warden who is appointed to a notoriously brutal prison in an attempt to improve conditions. In order to expose the atrocities that are being carried out, he disguises himself as a prisoner. 1.40am Winter X Games 2.05 Boxing Classic 2.55 Boxing USA 3.55 FIM Motocross 4.45 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 House Doctorx2

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Race World 7.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 8.30 NASCAR 11.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 12.30pm LIVE Super League: Magic Weekend 2.30 LIVE European Rugby 5.00 Volvo Ocean Race 5.30 WWE Experience 6.30 ATP Tennis 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 ATP Tennis 11.30 Golf Night 1.30am ATP Tennis 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 360 Series 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE: Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm 360 Series 12.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 4.30 Wild Spirits 4.55 LIVE Super League: Magic Weekend 7.00 LIVE Super League: Magic Weekend 9.15 European Rugby Special 11.45 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.45am WWE Vintage Collection 1.45 European Rugby Special 4.15 Watersports World 5.15 Volvo Ocean Race 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1








10.00am Road Wars 11.00 WWE Experience 12.00pm Futurama (x2) 1.00 Oops TV 1.30 Live Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 7.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Lost 10.00 Fringe 11.10 Night Cops 12.10am Road Wars (x2) 2.00 Street Wars

7.00pm Dog Borstal 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 9.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 9.30 Two Pints: The Love Triangle 10.00 Family Guy 10.20 American Dad! 10.45 My Life As An Animal: Dogs 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.15am Two Pints: The Love Triangle

7.00pm Cranford 8.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast 8.30 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture. See highlights. 9.30 Cloudspotting 11.00 Flight Of The Conchords (x2) 12.00am Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture 1.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast 1.30 Cloudspotting

1.40pm All Star Mr And Mrs 2.40 Planet’s Funniest Animals 3.10 Gossip Girl 4.10 Britain’s Got More Talent 5.10 FILM: IQ (1994) 7.00 Primeval 8.00 Britain’s Got Talent 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter Stateside 11.00 FILM: Mission: Impossible II (2000) 1.30am Celebrity Juice

8.15am Heartbeat (x2) 10.25 FILM: The Sundowners (1960) 1.00pm Inspector Morse 3.05 FILM: Madeline (1998) 4.55 FILM: An Ideal Husband (1999) 6.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7.55 Rising Damp (x2) 9.00 FILM: Up Pompeii (1971) 10.55 FILM: The Odd Couple (1968) 1.05am Hammer House Of Horror

11.00am How To Look Good Naked USA 11.30 Beauty And The Geek 12.25pm Kevin Hill 1.20 Ugly Betty 2.10 Joan Of Arcadia (x2) 4.00 Ghost Whisperer 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 7.00 One Tree Hill 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Dirty Sexy Money 12.00am Sex And The City (x2)

9.00am Scrapheap Challenge (x5) 2.20pm 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 2.35 The 100 Greatest Musicals 5.15 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 River Cottage Boat Trip 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.00 Love, Life, Death In The Day 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.10am Curb Your Enthusiasm

11.00am Will And Grace (x2) 12.00pm Charmed 1.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 2.00 Most Haunted (x3) 5.00 New Most Haunted 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 CSI 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI 12.00am Ghost Hunters 1.00 Charmed


Comedy Central


Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



12.00pm World War II: The Complete History (x4) 4.00 Mythbusters (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Time Team 8.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 9.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 10.00 Treasure Quest 11.00 Arthur Shawcross: Serial Killers 12.00am Crime Scene Australia 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Couples Who Kill

11.00am Star Trek (x7) 7.00pm A Town Called Eureka 8.00 Sanctuary 9.00 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 10.50 FILM: Lost City Raiders (2008) 12.50am FILM: Mansquito (2005) 3.00 Dead Like Me 4.00 Star Trek (x2)

11.25am Attack! (1956) 1.15pm The Wild One (1953) 2.40 Custer Of The West (1968) 5.00 Duel In The Sun (1946) 7.10 Attack! (1956) 9.00 The Wild One (1953) 10.25 The Desperate Hours (1955) 12.20am I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969) 2.10 Too Late The Hero (1970)

9.00am Be Kind Rewind (2008) 10.45 Sky Movies Special 11.15 Almost Famous (2000) 2.00pm Across The Universe (2007) 4.15 Mumford (1999) 6.10 Be Kind Rewind (2008) 7.55 Control (2007) 10.00 Almost Famous (2000) 12.45am Hana-Bi (1997) 2.40 Mo’ Better Blues (1990)

1.00pm Picture Perfect (1997) 2.55 The Straight Story (1999) 5.05 Catch That Kid (2004) 6.50 Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) 9.00 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) 11.05 Internal Affairs (1990) 1.25am You Can Count On Me (2000) 3.40 Close

7.25am Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951) 9.30 Thunder Over The Plains (1953) 11.00 Young Man With A Horn (1950) 1.05pm The Big Trees (1952) 3.00 Ben-Hur (1959) 6.55 The Boy Who Could Fly (1986) 9.00 Bonfire Of The Vanities (1990) 11.25 A Star Is Born (1976) 2.10am The First Deadly Sin (1980)

6.00am The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 6.40 The Two Ronnies 7.35 Bread 8.10 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 8.50 What A Carry On! 9.20 Only Fools And Horses (x7) 8.00pm FILM: Spider-Man 2 (2004) 10.30 FILM: Bruce Almighty (2003) 12.15am The Two Ronnies 1.10 Charlie’s Angels (x2)

9.00am Two And A Half Men (x23) 8.30pm Rules Of Engagement 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 The Office: An American Workplace 10.00 FILM: The Wedding Singer (1998) 11.50 Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live 1.00am Grumpy Old Men 1.40 Jongleurs Unleashed 2.10 Sarah Silverman (x2)





5:19 PM

Page 1

monday 4 Great British Menu BBC2, 6.30pm Chefs representing one of eight British regions compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. The chefs from Wales prepare their starters: Stephen Terry cooks a Welsh rarebit, while James Sommerin serves up poached chicken with pea ravioli and Caws Mynydd Du cheese.

Panorama BBC1, 8.30pm Cricket promoter and banker Sir Allen Stanford arrived at Lords in summer 2008 by helicopter, and was hailed as the saviour of the English game. Now the Texan is accused of a multi-billion dollar fraud. John Sweeney goes on the trail of the dark side of the off-shore banker who bowled over English cricket.

Blues Britannia BBC4, 10.30pm Documentary telling the story of what happened to blues music on its journey from southern USA to the heart of British pop and rock culture. From the arrival of American blues in Britain in the late 50s, the birth of the first British blues boom in the early 60s to the more hardcore British blues boom of the mid to late 60s.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.10 South East Today 1.20 Wallace And Gromit: The Wrong Trousers 1.50 FILM: Holes (2003) 3.40 FILM: The Haunted Mansion (2003) 5.00 The Weakest Link: West End Special

6.00am Children’s TV 7.30 Dani’s House 8.00 Scoop 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.05 Mr Tumble 9.10 Something Special - Out And About 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 FILM: In Search Of The Castaways (1962) 12.35pm FILM: Five Children And It (2004) 2.00 World Championship Snooker 4.45 Flog It! 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 12.45 Women’s FA Cup Final 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 The Biggest Loser 5.00 Golden Balls

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.25 Friends 9.50 Take That Vs Robbie: Top 10 10.55 FILM: Ladyhawke (1985) 1.05pm FILM: The Battle Of Britain (1969) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Soccer Extra 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 5.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 Big League Weekend 11.45 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.45am Ford Football Special 2.15 Big League Weekend 3.45 Watersports World 4.45 Max Power 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.00 My Family An undercover assessor for Cavitex, posing as a patient, leads to Ben having to attend a retraining course. 6.30 BBC News At Six 6.50 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 Watchdog Latest consumer news and advice. 8.00 EastEnders Birthday greetings turn to blackmail for Billy, while Heather decides to contact the father of her baby. 8.30 Panorama See highlights. 9.00 Ashes To Ashes When animal rights activists threaten a series of attacks in London, placing the daughter of a laboratory owner in hospital, Gene orders his team not to sleep until those responsible are caught. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.10 South East Today 10.15 The Omid Djalili Show Stand-up and sketches from the award-winning comedian 10.45 Inside Sport Gabby Logan travels to Switzerland to meet Tour De France cyclist Mark Cavendish. 11.15 FILM: Glory Road (2006) Truelife sports drama. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Real Swiss Family Robinson 2.15 Sign Zone: The Department Store 3.15 Sign Zone: Orangutan Diary 3.45 Sign Zone: Real Rescues 4.30 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. The team include Barry Simmons, Millionaire winner Judith Keppel, Mastermind winner Chris Hughes. 6.30 Great British Menu See highlights. 7.00 Johnny Cash: The Last Great American Documentary profiling the life of the legendary country music star Johnny Cash, who died in 2003 shortly after completing the retrospective Unearthed, a 5-CD set of the acoustic performances with which he resurrected his career in the last decade of his life. Featuring contributions from his daughter Rosanne and son John Carter Cash, manager Lou Robin, and fellow musicians including Little Richard, Kris Kristofferson and Elvis Costello. 8.00 World Championship Snooker The snooker season reaches its climax as a possible 11 frames decide the 2009 World Championship. Ray Stubbs, Rishi Persad, Steve Davis and John Parrott will be on hand from the break-off to the lifting of the trophy, with the winner receiving a cheque for £250,000. 11.00 Have I Got News For You With guest panellists Chris Addison and Janet Street-Porter. 11.30 The Wire McNulty is reassigned to the marine unit. 12.25am BBC News 3.15 The Super League Show 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.15 ITV Evening News And Weather 6.30 You’ve Been Framed! 7.00 Emmerdale Natasha follows Mark, certain that he’s hiding something. 7.30 Coronation Street Peter catches Ken as he tries to sneak away. Julie is in turmoil. 8.00 Airline At Luton Jo Gilbert has missed her check-in time by five minutes. She and her daughter need to get to Belfast for a medical emergency and things become heated. Across country in Bristol travellers are trying to get home to Newcastle after being diverted due to an air traffic control strike in Rome. 8.30 Coronation Street Ken finally makes his choice. Julie goes to face her father in hospital. Tara plans to go public with her revenge on Dev. 9.00 Compulsion Cambridge graduate Anjika Indrani’s hopes of enjoying life with her boyfriend are threatened by her wealthy father’s wish for her to marry the son of a business associate. 11.00 The Late News And Weather 11.15 FILM: D-Tox (2002) See film highlights. 1.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.25 FILM: Peacemakers (2003) 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Maggie and Moe develop a special bond. 6.30 Hollyoaks Sasha thinks she has Warren right where she wants him. Leo demands answers from Calvin, as the pair decide to bring Warren down. Michaela is disappointed with her birthday presents. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Bear Grylls: Mission Everest Before tackling Everest, Gilo must design a powerful and light machine that can fly where no other has gone before, and the pair must also convince their wives to let them undertake a dangerous mission that has no guarantee of success or survival. 9.00 FILM: Endgame (2009) Starring William Hurt, Chiwetel Ejiofor. Political thriller. True story of the secret talks that help end apartheid in South Africa. The individuals involved risked everything to achieve what was thought to be unimaginable: a delicate state of trust between two warring parties, at a time when the country was on the brink of civil war. 11.05 The Secret Millionaire Beauty industry magnet Rob Calcraft ventures undercover in Barrow-inFurness, a town described as the most working class in Britain. 12.10am Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night 12.55 NY-LON 1.55 3 Minute Wonder: Bravo! 2.00 FILM: Mysterious Skin (2004) 3.45 Abductees 4.00 Star Maths 1 (x11) 5.40 Star Maths 3 (x2)

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.30 The Mr. Men Show 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Play! 9.00 Rupert Bear 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.30pm Animal Rescue Squad 1.00 Wordplay 1.50 Neighbours 2.20 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Anzio (1968) 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Charlie is unsure about her new status as a gay woman. Charlie kisses Hugo. 6.30 Zoo Days The zoo’s eye surgeon prepares for a pioneering operation on Strolch the bespectacled bear. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Massive Speed Chris Barrie turns his attention to the dangerous world of powerboats, focusing on early stepped-hull boats, recordbreaking three-point hydroplanes and modern racing catamarans. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. Jason compare iTunes with its new rival, Spotify. before using Facebook and Twitter to organise a ‘flashmob’ event at Somerset House in London. 9.00 FILM: Hollow Man (2000) Starring Kevin Bacon, Elisabeth Shue, Josh Brolin. Sci-fi thriller about a group of scientists who are working to achieve invisibility. Having had some success with animals, one of the team decides to test the serum on himself. 11.10 FILM: Urban Legends: The Final Cut (2000) Horror in which creepy tales come to life. 1.00am NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 2.40 USPGA Golf 3.30 AMA Supercross 4.00 Arenacross 4.35 NBA 360 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 European Rugby Special 10.30 Spanish Football 12.30pm Soccer Extra Bank Holiday Special 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.30 Soccer Extra Bank Holiday Special 5.00 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 H2O Sports International 7.30 LIVE Speedway 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Poker 12.00am Speedway 2.00 Poker 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Ford Football Special 7.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 8.00 Football League: Championship 9.00 Golf Night 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 A1 Grand Prix 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Marie Vagen

extraterrestrial Sky1








9.00am Don’t Forget The Lyrics (x3) 12.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics (x2) 2.00 Bones (x2) 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Futurama (x2) 5.30 Oops TV (x2) 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 24 10.00 Road Wars (x2) 12.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.30 Road Wars 1.30 Inside: Miami Vice 2.25 Ibiza Uncovered

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Robin Hood 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Bizarre ER 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Kirsten’s Topless Ambition 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Bizarre ER 12.45 Gavin And Stacey 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

7.00pm The Sky At Night 7.30 Farm To Pharma: The Rise And Rise Of Food Science 8.30 A Poets Guide To Britain 9.00 Eric Clapton And Steve Winwood Live At Madison Square Garden 10.00 Eric Clapton At The BBC: The Rock ‘n’ Roll Years 10.30 Blues Britannia. See highlights. 12.00am Flight Of The Conchords (x2)

10.30am Judge Judy (x3) 12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 FILM: IQ (1994) 5.45 Judge Judy (x2) 6.45 Beat The Star 8.00 Primeval 9.00 The Chopping Block 10.00 FILM: Mission: Impossible II (2000) 12.25am Coronation Street (x2) 1.25 Teleshopping

10.25am Kojak 11.30 FILM: Madeline (1998) 1.15pm FILM: Pride & Prejudice (2005) 3.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Rising Damp (x2) 9.00 Beyond A Joke 10.00 Clocking Off 11.05 The Lakes 12.10am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.00 Clocking Off

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 FILM: The Full Monty (1997) 11.45 Scrubs (x2) 12.40am My Name Is Earl 1.10 Joan Of Arcadia

9.00am Scrapheap Challenge: The Scrappy Races (x5) 2.20pm 3 Minute Wonder (x2) 2.30 The 100 Greatest Musicals 5.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 9.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 10.00 Relocation, Relocation 11.05 Grand Designs 12.10am ER 1.10 The Daily Show

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 CSI 9.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 10.00 Trophy Wives 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Britain’s Next Top Model


Comedy Central


Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



1.00pm Egypt’s Top Ten Mysteries (x2) 3.00 Why Ancient Egypt Fell 4.00 When Rome Ruled Egypt 5.00 Secrets Of Egypt’s Lost Queen 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 Whale Wars 10.00 Mythbusters 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

6.00am Star Trek (x2) 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Star Trek (x8) 8.00pm A Town Called Eureka 9.00 Medium 10.00 Medium 11.00 FILM: The Haunting Within (2003) 1.00am Star Trek (x5)

12.10pm The Lost Weekend (1945) 1.55 Kiss Of The Vampire (1963) 3.30 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 5.15 Johnny Guitar (1954) 7.15 The Far Country (1955) 9.00 Scream And Scream Again (1970) 10.40 Kiss Of The Vampire (1963) 12.15am The Boston Strangler (1968)

9.00am Breaking And Entering (2006) 11.00 Rescue Dawn (2006) 1.10pm Sicko (2007) 3.20 The Last King Of Scotland (2006) 5.30 Sky Movies Special 6.00 Sunshine (2007) 7.50 Rescue Dawn (2006) 10.00 The Kite Runner (2007) 12.10am Sunshine (2007)

1.00pm Clueless (1995) 2.55 The Cat Returns (2002) 4.30 Home Alone 3 (1997) 6.25 Oliver Twist (2005) 9.00 Mission: Impossible III (2006) 11.20 The Cider House Rules (1999) 1.45am Little Red Flowers (2006) 3.40 Close

7.00am Young Man With A Horn (1950) 9.00 Not With My Wife You Don’t (1966) 11.15 At The Circus (1939) 1.00pm The Singing Nun (1966) 3.00 Cats And Dogs (2001) 4.45 How The West Was Won (1962) 7.40 Pick A Star (1937) 9.00 Coma (1978) 11.15 That’ll Be The Day (1973) 1.05am Pink Floyd - The Wall (1982)

9.35am Only Fools And Horses (x2) 12.50pm FILM: Matilda (1996) 2.45 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 6.00 Posh Nosh 6.10 FILM: Matilda (1996) 8.00 FILM: Bruce Almighty (2003) 9.50 Blackadder Exclusive: The Whole Rotten Saga 12.00am Blackadder Goes Forth 12.40 What A Carry On! 1.15 Charlie’s Angels

9.00am Two And A Half Men (x20) 7.00pm FILM: The Mask (1994) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.40 Jongleurs Unleashed (x2) 2.40 Two And A Half Men (x2)



Latest Seven: Issue 421 28 Apr - 4 May  

Festival frenzy: It's nearly here! 11 pages of everything you need to know about Brighton Festival. Paper chase: Russell Crowe on State of p...

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