Latest Seven: Issue 419 14 - 20 Apr

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4/9/09

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t h e city magazine for brighton & h o v e www.thelatest.co.uk

★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 14 – 20 April 2009

FREE WEEKLY

zac efron on being matthew perry in 17 again

richard herring on getting away with being horribly lovely

get active spotlight on the best events of the season

careless whisper silver screen’s greatest love story at theatre royal brighton page 15 Exclusive Venues • Launch Parties Weddings • Civil Partnerships • Corporate Catering Event Management • Locally Sourced Produce tel: 01273 694 111

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Contents ★latest upfront 5–11 5 Seann wonders about words 6 Social Diary attends the official opening of Jamie’s Italian

6 Competitions: win fringe tickets 7 Dani wonders why girls go out in PJs 8 Alison attempts to give up drinking 8 Will swoons over his hero 9 Celeb City: spotted on the train 10 Bare Cheek explains that Twitter thingy 10 Astral Angi gives you a stern talking to 11 Interview: Richard Herring on his youth

★ latest news 12–14 12 News summary and Mary Mears 13 Phil Mills on the big booze crack-down 14 Letters: remembering Jade Goody 14 Sport: win London Golf Show tickets

★ latest lifestyle 14–20 15 On the cover: Brief Encounter brought to life at Theatre Royal Brighton

16 Food: Circa at La Marinade

Welcome W

★ latest listings 21–41 21 Reviews Robin Ince is star of the week

23 Stage Fringe theatre in Brighton police cells

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24 Film Zac Efron grows up – fast

26 Comedy Vicky looks forward to the fringe

26 Art A peek at post-war British life

27 Kids & Events Help decide the future of the whale

27 Books An evening at Lewes Literary Club

28 Music Spear of Destiny revival and the Manics are coming to town Brighton Latest Download Chart

TOP

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31 Clubs The cream of Brighton’s nightlife

32 Gay Stonewall’s annual dinner and just six weeks to register for Pride

34 TV Dani‘s loving The Apprentice and seven days of TV for your perusal

17 Hotlist: be seen at the best restaurants 18 Spring and summer events 20 Health: battling back pain

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01273 818150

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Business Director Angi Mariani

Editor Rachel Pegg

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Art Director Stephen King

Sub Editors Joe Curtin Patrick O’Donnell

Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writer Dani Winch Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit Books Writer John O‘Donoghue

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Marie Viviani

hat would you do if you came face to face with your favourite celeb? Will did just that recently when he encountered Hollywood star Zac Efron at the premiere of 17 Again. Turn to his column to find out whether he made an impression (p8).

If, like Will, you have a thing for Zac, in our film section the young actor discusses what it was like to play a dad-turned-young (p24). Don’t forget every week we have the chance for you to win a pair of tickets to a film of your choice.

If you love both the cinema and the stage, Theatre Royal Brighton has the best of both worlds coming next week with a live version of Brief Encounter straight from the West End. See our cover feature on page 15.

If you’re still feeling in a nostalgic mood, Latest Art’s Jeff Hemmings has news of a striking exhibition of photographs by Thurston Hopkins at the Charleston Gallery, documenting the strengthening mood of post-war Britain (p26).

On the same page, our in-house comedy expert Victoria Nangle looks forward to a fun and eclectic three weeks of comedy and cabaret in Brighton Festival Fringe.

Comedy is just one thread of the brightly woven fringe programme. There’s also music, dance, family events, theatre... On his stage page, Andrew Kay unravels one of the highlights – a play about Sylvia Pankhurst in Brighton’s Old Police Cells (p23).

On our competitions page (p6), you can win tickets to one of this year’s most exciting fringe venues – St Andrew’s Church in Hove, run by Fletch Productions.

Of course, there’s plenty going on outside the fringe; such as the Martlets Midnight Walk and the Spirit of the Millennium Festival. See our events feature on page 18. We also have tickets to the London Golf Show up for grabs (p14).

Our big interview is with 90s favourite comic Richard Herring (p11), who talked to Victoria about his new show which dissects the meaning of adolescence. And if that gets you reminiscing about being a teenager, why not follow Will’s example and go to see 17 Again this week?

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Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor

000_LS419 The Floor Salon

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SEANN’S WORLD | XWORD 05

Seann

Seann Walsh looks at the power of words, and how the lazy use of speech is bad for society

The impotence of speech ords are underrated.

So much of what we say is taken for granted, replaced in importance by how we say it.

Body language is important. It only takes a phone conversation to realise that. We have all become stuck before in the linguistic quicksand of our own inarticulacy, unable to convey what we mean without some gesture or other. Similarly, the written word illuminates the significance of tone and delivery.

When we’re deprived of them by emails, texts and things such as this article, many paths to nuance become uncrossable.

Take as an example this sentence: “I really like skateboarders.” It throws the responsibility to you, the reader.

Suddenly, it’s down to you to detect the attached irony and interpret the sentence’s true meaning. If I were to speak it, I’d suddenly have the luxury of body language and tone of voice, which I’d use to convey the irony with far more clarity.

I’d use tone of voice to say it as sarcastically as possible, and body language to hit a skater

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with his board. Then you would know for sure that I do not like skateboarders.

So, the value of non-verbal communication is undisputable.

Some people, however, seem determined to exaggerate it.

People say that 90 per cent of communication is non-verbal. I challenge anyone who actually believes that to communicate it non-verbally.

The preference of gesture and tone over words mirrors the widespread cultural movement in favour of presentation over content. It’s the sort of lazy, unanalytical attitude that excuses the worst in political manipulation, vacuous advertising campaigns and all

“We have all been stuck before in the linguistic quicksand of inarticulacy”

the other cultural phenomena that favour style over substance.

If we attached more importance to words themselves, we would not be swayed by meaningless slogans, such as the advert for crisps that tells us to ‘Let flavour unfold’, as if that’s somehow profound because a woman whispers it over images of the fresh ingredients that the

manufacturers have attempted to imitate. Crisps are fried slices of potato with salty powder on them. The flavour doesn't unfold: it makes your breath smell.

Words deserve better. Barely a conversation goes by where we don’t contradict ourselves, or fill sentences with unnecessary extras. Some of the stock phrases we use are pretty much abusive to the idea of meaning.

This occurred to me recently when I used the saying, ‘I saw it with my own two eyes’. Only in a culture that undervalues words would we wish to specify not only the organ with which we see, but also how many eyes we have, as if that’s a piece of information people are likely to forget. ‘I saw it’, is not an ambiguous sentence. If I had said that alone, no one would have replied, “But what with?” I didn’t see it with my own two knees; nor did I see it with someone else’s two eyes.

I thought all that with my own one brain, and even said it with my own one mouth. The person I said it to wasn’t fully convinced that it was worth saying.

Trampling on language, he said (and I quote): “I kind of agree, but I also sort of don’t.”

Contradiction, eh? Can’t live with it; can’t live without it.

latestcrossword Cryptic 189

solutions on page 30

Quick 189

ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS

5 Noseless dog's got one to scratch (4) 7 Fair one with perfect symmetry? (4-6) 8 Look askance at return of dance (4) 10 Sales led by having pollutant removed (8) 11 Prohibit articles on fruit (6) 12 Rush about after having hot dish from the South (6) 14 Turn in the woman's clothing under constraint (6) 16 Inharmonious dog, perhaps, with yellow head (6) 17 Heavenly woman out of reach for the most part (8) 19 Ready to rest peacefully to a point (4) 21 Once again find out about record being completed (10) 22 A person's nose that's been reshaped (4)

1 Lounge about with enthusiasm!

(4) 2 Make weaker tea - never have it stirred (8) 3 Domestic, it's said, gets a flower (6) 4 Agreement is outside the best standards (6) 5 Image of novice in pursuit of marriage promise (4) 6 Vessel designed for moral judge? (10) 9 Oriental holiday interrupted by start of untimely withdrawal (10) 13 Beyond what's apparent to make trio rule (8) 15 Sad yet oddly resolute (6) 16 Brush up on a foreign language (6) 18 They hear a long time without question (4) 20 Goes wrong [or makes mistakes] (4)

5 Exploit (4) 7 Not appreciative (10) 8 Tropical tree (4) 10 Response (8) 11 Male name (6) 12 Abate (6) 14 Taken illegally (6) 16 Food shortage (6) 17 Achieved (8) 19 Profound (4) 21 Presence (10) 22 Shoemaker (4)

DOWN 1 Copious swallow (4) 2 Very ancient (8) 3 Boisterous (6) 4 Adulterous relationship (6) 5 Apartment (4) 6 Agreement (10) 9 Adjustment (10) 13 Entertainer (8) 15 Number (6) 16 Dying away (6) 18 North African (4) 20 Look slyly (4)

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06 LATEST DIARY Archi Ram (winner, of Art of Hope)

In it to Latest diary win it Tim Richardson ▲

Win show tickets with Fletch Productions Win prizes for best fancy dress and sing your heart out to a selection of quirky classic musicals while enjoying complimentary wine at SingAlong-Sunday at Fletch at St Andrews this Fringe.

Hosted and conducted by Brighton’s premier DJ, Guy Lloyd of Juice FM!, Latest 7 have teamed up with Fletch Production to offer readers the chance to win one of two pairs of tickets to a Sing-A-longSunday of their choice.

Sunday 3 May, 7pm sees The Rocky Horror Picture Show hit the big screen. Slip on your suspenders as a sweet transvestite, grab that biker jacket and prepare to be ‘Meatloaf‘ or simply get ready to do the ‘Time Warp‘ again.

Sunday 17 May (7pm) has an altogether more elegant feel, offering aspiring burlesquers (and anyone else who loves corsets) the chance to get dressed up Moulin Rouge style and sing along to such classics as ‘Like a Virgin‘ and ‘Roxeanne‘.

Sunday 24 May (5pm) gives you the chance to embrace your inner child and sing along to Bugsy Malone.

Gangsters and molls are most welcome but custard guns may be confiscated.

For tickets go to: www.fletchatstandrews.com or call 08444 771 000 To win two tickets to a SingAlong-Sunday of your choice, just tell us: Who plays the lead male in the 2001 film version of Moulin Rouge?

is snapping great new art and checking out Jamie’s gaff

Winning art artrepublic unveiled the winning print from their Art of Hope competition on Wednesday 25 March 2009. The winner, Archi Ram, was among three finalists short-listed from well over 100 entries, and his work will now be sold at artrepublic’s Brighton and Soho galleries, and online.

The evening saw art enthusiasts and artists celebrate with the winner at the artrepublic Brighton gallery. The judges, who included Latest art writer Jeff Hemmings, were overwhelmed by the high standard. The winning print will now be displayed alongside works by such stars of the UK art scene as Sir Peter Blake, Banksy and Jamie Hewlett.

Catherine Pryce (Leapfrogg), Matt Crick (Leapfrogg), Lawrence Alkin (artrepublic) and Andrew Milledge (managing director, artrepublic)

artrepublic gallery, 13 Bond St, Brighton. Call 01273 724829, www.artrepublic.com

Andy Hutchings (competition judge), Archi Ram (winner, of Art of Hope), Jeff Hemmings (Latest Magazine), Graham Carter (competition judge) and Andrew Milledge (managing director, artrepublic)

Robin Mawhood and Vanessa Dalby

Mayor Garry Peltzer Dunn (official ribbon cutting), Middle Street Primary School, Josh Arghiros (Karis) and Gennaro Contaldo (Jamie’s Italian)

Jules Hunt (exec chef, Jamie’s Italian), Gennaro Contaldo (Passione Restaurant, London) and Josh Arghiros (Karis)

Jamie’s place

To win, email:

competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Moulin Rouge’ in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email.

Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine.

Closing date for entries: Monday 27 April

The Black Lion Street, a Karis redevelopment and the location for Jamie Oliver’s new restaurant, Jamie’s Italian was officially opened

by Mayor Garry Peltzer Dunn on Wednesday 25 March 2009. Next door to the restaurant will be a Japanese karaoke bar to be called Lucky Voice. There are also four floors of office space above, some of which have already been occupied by iCrossing.

Cars will no longer be able to access Prince Albert Street along this route, which will feature public artwork, lighting and plants. The improvements have turned this into a shared space and will allow seating outside the restaurant. Opposite the restaurant and bar the railings have been replaced and were designed by artist Ricky Delany and the children of Middle Street Primary School and brings art from the community to form a permanent part of Brighton’s life.

Andrea Fox (Juice 107.2) and Jackie Harrison (JBPR)

Ricky Delany and the Stanmer Park Forge team

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4/8/09

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DEFINITELY DANI 07

Dani hen I was at school each term there seemed to be a new fashion craze. They generally came so thick and fast that by the time I had managed to get my mum to find me one, the next would be ‘happening’; leaving my trousers with attached skirt defunct and unfashionable among my 11-year-old peers.

Had I been at school now, the fashion craze would certainly have been cheap enough for me to partake in seeing as I already own more than one of the item in question. But I can honestly say that even though I own the items already, there is no way I would wear them to make a fashion statement or to match my peers. In all honesty I would be the only child at school that looked on in dismay as the rest of the girls strolled around in their pyjama bottoms.

Yes you heard right, if you haven’t seen it yet you will. And if you have seen it, do you think

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Dani is pondering pyjamas and dog poo, there’s just too much of both in town

it is slightly strange? I would quite like someone to explain the point in it. The girls that tend to be wearing pyjama bottoms have enough foundation on their faces for five people, they clearly take time with their appearance albeit a somewhat orange appearance, so why complete the outfit with the trousers you slept in?

The first time I noticed the fad was a year ago, but it was a pregnant woman who was wearing the pyjama bottoms, I presumed that was because the waistband was nice and stretchy, but then her friend walked over who was not pregnant and she was wearing them too – was the friend following the pregnant lady or the pregnant lady following fashion?

I can’t get my head around where this fashion craze started?

Did no-one realise that if you wear light coloured ones you can see right through them? Did someone get dressed in the morning and forget to change

Green green grass?

Another question I would like answered is why dog owners (not all but some) will pick up their dog poo when it lands on a pavement but not when it lands on any grassy area? Does the fact that it is on grass make it okay to leave and if so, why? If you go for a walk across any form of green open space you end up with a neck ache from spending the trip looking at the floor to save you stick scraping when you get to the other end. If you don’t like the idea of picking up dog poo, don’t get a dog!

“Did someone forget to change their trousers?”

their trousers? Or was it a stunt

by Primark to get the sales of their pyjama bottoms up? Or maybe it is a cheaper and easier craze to partake in, perhaps that is behind the success of it?

It turns out I am not the only person confused by this bizarre fad, if you type ‘pyjama bottom fashion craze’ into a Google, pages will appear in which others are questioning this strange craze. It seems it is sweeping the country not just the south of England. Everyone has seen someone popping to the local shop in their slippers and possibly pj bottoms and baggy jumper, but how did it become the ‘thing’ to dress your top half like you‘re off out for a night on the town and your bottom half as if you are just about to get into bed? How do you decide what shoes to wear with your pyjama bottoms? I wear new shoes in by prancing about with them on at home, and a majority of the time that will be while wearing pyjamas, but I just wouldn’t wear that anywhere other than inside the walls of my house. If you are a frequent wearer of pyjama bottoms as a fashion statement I hope I haven’t offended; I would just like to know how this started!

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Tel: 01273 220868 Web: www.legliserestaurant.co.uk 196 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2DJ

Comments? Get in touch: dani@thelatest.co.uk

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4/9/09

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08 CITY SPEAK

Alison o, I was going to give up drinking for a month. All part of the get fit, lose the fat for the pending horror that is me cycling the 54 miles from London to Brighton on Sunday 21 June.

After two days, I realised the folly of my plan. Me – and the fact that everyone I know drinks. Well, I live in Brighton so that isn’t difficult. It is a sport here. I’m amazed we haven’t got ourselves a section at the Olympics: we’d have some sterling support from Glasgow, and the rest of the country would be sure to want to join in. Like how everyone suddenly starts playing tennis for two weeks a year when Wimbledon is on.

We’d have some heavy competition from the Russians though.

I learnt to drink in France. Obviously I had had a few drunken adventures as a teenager, which usually ended the night with me staring down into a toilet bowl.

But it wasn’t until I moved to France that I got into the joys of stubbies (little bottles) of light French lager and the joy of l’ hypermarché, which housed walls of wine that stretched on forever. I was also particularly impressed that I could buy wine in a petrol garage. A real old-school

Alison Swann‘s plan for a month-long detox is unexpectedly scuppered one, not a flashing-lights-with-an-M&S-inthe-middle jobbie.

The last time I stopped drinking for more than a week I was trapped on a houseboat in the Himalayas. By the end of that week I was half a stone lighter and a hell of a lot clearer mentally.

I tried a sober evening out recently with friends and a pregnant mate, who obviously wasn’t drinking. I was being supportive and stuck to the lime-and-soda option as the first hour of an after-work drinks evening primed itself for the night. The first half-hour was fine. After an hour, and with the booze starting to get into said friends’ veins, and it’s like the volume has been turned up.

Everyone is getting louder, harsher and less entertaining. They‘re repeating the same thing over and over again. Jesus! Is this what I am like when I have had a couple of drinks?

What on earth am I like after an evening on the wine? Do I turn into someone with the mental ability of a retarded baboon? But that’s obviously part of the fun.

I lasted a week. Then my mother decided to come and visit – for a week. Rioja anyone?

S

Will

www.justgiving.com/alisonswann2.(Sponsor me please!) or email me at alison@the latest.co.uk with your pledge.

Will Harris gets a taste of the red-carpet treatment at a film premiere “Nadia is having a whale of a time, blowing air kisses to the crowd, pointing at me screaming: ‘Oh my God, it’s Rhydian!’”

Photo by Chuck Zlotnick ©2008 New Line Cinema

he thing that strikes me as I take those first hesitant steps out onto my first red carpet is how much better the view is from the outside. The screaming crowds behind the barriers at the Zac Efron premiere have flocked here to witness the circus of modern celebrity, the doe-eyed girls and square-jawed boys set against the gunfire crackle of flashbulbs. Having been given the rare privilege of standing on the inside looking out, I’m nothing short of terrified.

Nadia, my plus one for the evening, is having a whale of a time, blowing extravagant air kisses to the crowd before pointing at me and screaming “Oh my God, it’s Rhydian!” in an attempt to lure the waiting paparazzi. I, on the other hand, am treating the whole experience as some sort of horrific ‘Nam flashback, sweating in a non-existent jungle heat and ducking low to avoid the thrum of imaginary helicopters descending overhead. “Save yourself, man!”

I want to shout at Nadia, as the crowds loom ever nearer. “Take this necklace of human ears and get out of here!”

And then, snapping me out of my probably inappropriate daydream, there is Zac. The leading man. The American dream.

Effortless in a tailored grey suit, he strides

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“Everyone I know drinks. I live in Brighton so that isn’t difficult – it’s a sport here”

across the red carpet looking every inch like he owns it, his Hollywood smile out-dazzling even the brightest of the cameras. He is, without exaggeration, flawless.

As Nadia and I take our seats in the cinema (somewhat showing ourselves up by getting inappropriately overexcited about our free popcorn), I catch sight of the British ‘celeb’ contingent a few rows down. They include: X Factor reject Diana Vickers; X Factor rejects Same Difference; Coronation Street strumpet Roxanne Pallett; two boys I’m told were once in Hollyoaks; and Brian from Big Brother. And that’s it.

The great and good of ‘Cool Britannia’.

I find it unsurprising the British slebs are looking so sheepish, alongside the blazing supernova that is Zac Efron, their own stuttering stars have been reduced to little more than tea lights in a stiff breeze. And I’m as patriotic as the next man, but it strikes me then that perhaps the Americans are just better at these things: Zac versus Brian; Oprah versus Trisha; Barack versus Gordon even! We Brits are world-class in a lot of respects but being ‘cool’ – it strikes me, as I join all the other grown men screaming like girls and clamouring for pictures of Zac on our camera phones – surely ain’t one of them.

For comments and chit chat email: letters@thelatest.co.uk

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AROUND TOWN 09

sponsored by

Celebcity

Here to Gethsemane

with Jo Brooks

Spotted on the 5.06pm train on Friday 3 April was actress Tamsin Greig, who was on tour in the David Hare play Gethsemane at the Theatre Royal Brighton. I spotted Greig sitting in first class recanting her many lines! The show was billed as a “play about British public life (which) looks at the way business, media and politics are now intertwined to nobody’s advantage, as, in an unforgiving world, one character after another passes through Gethsemane”.

Zoe Ball speaks out over the airwaves, stars are celebrated through art and the big screen

Picture this

On track

Zoe speaks

Ken Bruce

Presenter Zoe Ball makes a welcome return to the airwaves as she is currently standing in for Ken Bruce on Radio 2. Her first programme didn’t even get into its first hour before Zoe mentioned her husband Norman Cook. It seems that while he was away from their Hove seafront home during a spell in rehab, Zoe decided to do a little extreme spring cleaning and disposed of Norm’s hip flask collection!

Photo: BBC

Zoe Ball

The latest exhibition at Crane Kalman photographic gallery in Brighton leans heavily on the celebrity angle. Entitled Legends, the gallery is showing a selection of images of some of the greatest stars from the worlds of movies, music and sport. From the glamour of the red carpet at a Hollywood Oscar night ceremony to a youthful Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney sitting opposite each other in a first class train carriage on the way to Bangor, the pictures are a celebration of the work of the press photographer.

Legends features images from the Getty Images Gallery Collection and runs at the Crane Kalman Gallery from now until 3 May 2009.

Ralph rocks Brighton actor Ralph Brown hit the big screen last week playing the part of Bob Silver in new film The Boat That Rocked. He stars alongside one of my all time favourite actors, Bill Nighy, who incidentally I spotted in London on Friday last week.

Big screen beckons?

It might also be the silver screen for our very own Katie Price.

Katie’s “people” are rumoured to be in talks with US film-makers about “Katie Price” The Movie.” Katie is currently in training for the London Marathon which she will be running alongside brother Dan and hubby Peter Andre.

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com

10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of May 2009 excluding Easter, Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers

010_LS419_cheeky

4/8/09

6:08 PM

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10 ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

What was that?

Can’t remember the name of an obscure film, book, TV show, or whatever? Ask Mike Hunter, the man with all the answers Dear Mike, This may seem a strange one, but I'm going loopy trying to think of the name of this famous film director. I think he’s dead now, but for years he was extremely popular, both with the sensation-hungry general public and the intelligentsia, particularly the leading lights of the French Nouvelle Vague.

I have a mental image of this very fat, bald man, always dressed in a smart suit and tie, and with an unforgettable deep, ironic voice. I wouldn’t swear to it, but I’m pretty sure he revolutionised 20th century cinema with his bold camera work, black humour, misogyny, and use of twisted Freudian archetypes. His name’s on the tip of my tongue, but I just can’t think of it.

Oddly enough, my brother is a film student, but when I asked him he merely sighed and pushed past me out of the house. Please, please, please help.

Rob, London Road

inthenet Martin Johnstone is your guide to cyberspace Yo dudes and dudettes! Long time no see. Mart here with the ‘skinny’ on what’s ‘down’ in internetland. The hottest, most up-to-the-minute thing online at

the moment is a thing called ‘Twitter’. Basically it’s like sending a text message on your computer to a lot of different people, but you’re limited to 64 characters. Or is it 62? Actually it may be 46. Anyway, famous people do it too, and you can ‘follow’ them. (Not really. We all know I’m not allowed to do that.

Thank you very much, Gillian Anderson’s lawyer!)

So why not give it a go! You can find out what Stephen Fry had for lunch. Or what Russell Brand had for lunch. Or what Stephen Fry thinks about what Russell Brand had for lunch.

P.S – Don't get excited. It’s not the real Keira Knightly. Damn it.

Oh, and keep an eye out for me – I’m TheDudeinator73.

Stay beautiful, Mart X

Dear Rob, Far be it for me to suggest that you’re some kind of ‘psycho’, but I have a ‘suspicion’ that if it’s a film expert one is looking for you’re definitely ‘the wrong man’.

You’re certainly not ‘the man who knew too much’! Yes, the director you’re thinking of is, without ‘a shadow of a doubt’, John Hughes, director of such classics asThe Breakfast Club, Weird Science and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Glad to have been of help.

Keep those queries flooding in folks!

Mike X

Astral Angi

BARDSLEY’S

This week Astral is pulling no punches

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).

Aries needs to curb any tendency to impetuous excess right now. All that energy can, if not channelled, lead to a great deal of unhappiness. Avoid showing the world that you are a fool.

Cancerians are moody and clingy – making them ideal stalkers. Think hard, are you paying far too much attention to someone and then denying it? Thought so, stop it now!

Librans can be somewhat gullible. So here goes – your future lies in a life of dedication. You can make a start by popping over here and tackling this mountain of ironing.

Capricorns are miserly and grudging, which is why you are reading my very blunt horoscopes rather than Shelly von Whatsit in a magazine you would have to buy. You get what you pay for.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Taureans are jealous, possessive, resentful, inflexible, self-indulgent and greedy. Is that a little harsh? Okay delete as appropriate but, remember, you are only kidding yourself.

Leos are pompous and patronising, no really Leo, and I don’t care how many GCSEs and degrees you have or where you got them. I trained at the University of the Spirit, Glastonbury – ommmmm.

Scorpios are secretive to the point of obsession. This makes it very hard to check if my predictions come true. If I say something damning then I know you will hide it away. It’s very boring.

Aquarians are perverse and unpredictable, which may be an odd statement for a pedlar of predictions.

The perversion is deep-seated and probably beyond repair – live with it.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Geminis can be devious little beasts, easily capable of contriving situations to suit their own ends. Well, it’s time to put your own end to one side for just a moment and concentrate on others.

Virgos simply fuss, fuss, fuss and when they are not fussing it’s worry, worry, worry. In fact it worries me that I am starting to fuss about it – and I am certainly no Virgo!

Sagis are blindly optimistic and careless, but that hardy matters as you are probably asleep, either in bed or in a chair. In fact, I can hardly imagine you staying awake to read this.

Pisceans are weak-willed and easily led. You will go to Bardsley’s, you will order the most expensive dishes and wine on the list and you will proposition Roy and Muriel for a game of Sardines.

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

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INTERVIEW 11

All my sons Victoria Nangle spoke to Richard Herring about his new show and his difficulty in growing up ichard Herring is a busy chap, despite currently lying on his bed talking to me. I say it’s nice to have a job where you can have a nap in the afternoon. “Touring is unbelievable,” he informs me.

“It’s harder than most jobs. This week I’ve driven to Scotland and back.” On top of this he has been spending the past few months writing a book alongside touring his most successful stand-up show to date, The Headmaster’s Son. So what’s it all about?

“It’s a look at adolescence really,” admits Herring.

“Adultescence, kidulthood – call it what you will. There’s an element of whether we can blame our childhood for how we turned out. I don’t feel any different now to how I did in my 20s. It’s a quite open and honest show, but it also pushes back the boundaries of taste and people still leave thinking I’m a lovely man.” I suggest that his rigorous touring schedule could be a difference between the current him and the one of 20 years ago.

“It is,” he concurs. “We used to have a curry and get wasted after every show. I can’t do that now,” he adds with a smile.

Richard Herring is referring to his earlier work in the 90s with

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former comedy partner Stewart Lee, with who he had several successful television programmes, including Fist of Fun and This Morning With Richard Not Judy. Both have now moved on to successful independent writing and performing careers, with Herring’s writing including Time Gentlemen Please and You Can Choose Your Friends for telly and That Was Then, This is Now and Banter on the radio, as well as a highly successful run of podcasts with Andrew Collins.

I tell him I saw The Headmaster’s Son last year and thoroughly enjoyed it. “The show’s now longer,” he informs me happily. “There’s an extra half an hour of performance in it.

There’s more stuff from the diary (Herring has rediscovered his actual teenage diary) and more stories of youthful stupidity.” Is he still enjoying the show? “By constantly gigging a show it either gets better or you get sick of it, and I’m not sick of it. In fact, the best show of the entire show was last night. I can’t wait to come to Brighton.

The Brighton audience are a great comedy audience and I just love the place.”

The last time I caught him in Brighton was at Brian Gittens and Friends when someone loved his material about his hands so much they heckled he should include it in his podcasts, to which he rightly replied that it wasn’t the medium for physical

comedy. He chuckles at this.

“Yes, generally the things that happen are bizarre. The same week as that, a woman at a show with candles around leant back and set fire to her hair. Luckily it was quite thick and she didn’t burn her head, but I couldn’t carry on with the show. I was trying to pat her out and she had no idea initially that she was on fire. I came up with all these ad libs afterwards of what I could’ve said. But that will never happen again.” He laughs at the lost genius ad libs.

And who does he reckon are the faces of tomorrow to watch out for? “Josie Long and Isy Suttie. There are some great female comics at the moment.”

Both have shows can be found in the current Fringe brochure.

“Also, Terry Saunders; Matthew Crosby of Pappy’s Fun Club; Pappy’s Fun Club of course. Jack Whitehall, he moved into telly quickly but he’s very good. Holly Walsh; Christina Martin.” Again, have a butcher’s at the May lineup to catch some more of these.

He reels out the names of some of the best and the brightest on the circuit. “I feel that I fit in quite well in the current standup scene. But that’s because a lot of them grew up watching us,” he chuckles. And then he disappears off, hopefully to have a nap before tonight’s show.

Wallowing in the massive advantage of never growing up properly; the toys; the mates; the gigs discussing it – the Peter Pan of comedy.

Richard Herring, The Headmaster’s Son, Komedia, 23 April. Richard Herring and Andrew Collins, podcast and stand-up at The Duke of York’s, 28 May.

“It’s a quite open and honest show, but it also pushes the boundaries of taste and people still leave thinking I’m a lovely man”

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12 NEWS SUMMARY

L7NEWS

7

days of headlines

▲

Sussex University has been nominated for an award for banning battery farmed eggs.

Since 2008 following a student campaign, the catering service has used only whole, free range eggs and shuns powdered and liquid egg. It will find out on 14 May whether it has won a national Good Egg Award.

University hospitality manager David Chick and colleagues will attend the ceremony in London.

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Police launched an anti burglary crackdown. Domestic burglaries in Sussex have fallen by 2.6 per cent over the last year. Sussex Police are particularly targeting distraction burglary, where thieves con their way into homes. The force’s detection rate for this crime is 21 per cent, double the national average.

Filth report England’s beaches are dirtier than ever before, a new report concluded.

The annual survey by the Marine Conservation Society found higher levels of litter on coastlines than at any time since the study started in 1994.

In the South East, levels rose by 5.4 per cent from last year, with 118,009 items found on 61km across 114 beaches.

The main source was public litter, followed by fishing litter, sewage and shipping litter.

The Society called for a coordinated approach from Government to develop a marine litter strategy and deliver it through appropriate Government bodies. Marine litter kills wildlife, can be hazardous to people and costs millions to clean up. More

than 170 species of marine wildlife have been recorded mistaking litter for food.

Emma Snowden, of MCS, said: “Every piece of litter has an owner and we all need to take responsibility not to drop litter in the first place.”

Geoffrey Theobald, Brighton and Hove councillor for environmental issues, said the problems were less on the city’s beaches because there were people cleaning up all day, as well as litter and recycling bins.

He said: “One of the reasons we pick up these blue flags (for clean beaches) is because we do a lot of litter picking. The beach and seafront is our shop window and we are very keen to keep them as tidy as we can for visitors and residents.”

▲

Fran Crowe

Brighton and Hove City Council will put up parking charges on 1 May. Residents in most zones will have to pay £106 for an annual permit,an increase of £2. In zones U and W, drivers will have to pay £61, a rise of £1. Last year prices went up by 25 percent and the cost of visitor permits doubled.

Street art A community action team has used a piece of art to brighten up a derelict day centre.

The St James’s Area Group’s Local Action Team borrowed the picture from Brighton and Hove City Council to improve the Fitzherbert Centre in Upper Bedford Street, Kemp Town, Brighton.

The building, owned by the Catholic Diocese of Arundel and Brighton, used to house the St Ann’s Day Centre for homeless and vulnerable people but was closed after a fire in 2007. It was refurbished last year but had to shut again after a damning health and safety report.

Action Team chair Chris Cooke told Latest: “It‘s going to be painted too, so will really spruce this sad corner of Kemp Town up. It’s just a small example of how a LAT can work with council departments and make real improvements.”

The Area Group was restarted in February after laying dormant for five years.

A planning application to turn the Fitzherbert Centre into a mix of social housing and facilities for the parish of St John the Baptist has been submitted to the city council.

Archbishop of York, John Sentamu

Day of pride Brighton and Hove city council leader Mary Mears on being proud to be English ecently the Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, called on the nation to embrace the patron saint of England and celebrate St George’s Day on 23 April.

Speaking to the BBC, the Archbishop said people needed to be more confident about their Englishness.

“An all-embracing England, confident and hopeful in its own identity, is something to celebrate,“ he said.

I couldn’t agree more and that’s why we’re launching our take on St George’s Day on Sunday 26 April at Jubilee Square called ‘The Book and

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“We’re launching our take on St George’s Day” the Rose’. This is a similar to ‘Fair of the Book and the Rose’ in Catalonia, Spain, which is a celebration of St George’s Day. On this day every man offers a rose to his loved one who in return gives him a book.

It is believed that William Shakespeare was born on 23 April 1564. 23 April is also the anniversary of the deaths of

Shakespeare and the great Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes, author of Don Quixote.

Legend has it that when St George killed the dragon and on the spot where the dragon’s blood was spilled a rose grew as a symbol of love and friendship.

The rose is of course also the national flower of England.

Celebrating St George’s Day is not about football and flags, but about knitting together the fabric of our society so we can build a stronger and more cohesive citizenship.

I hope you will join our event on Sunday 26 April and give a loved one a book and a rose.

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L7NEWS

News

Burlesque for success

Phil Mills reports on the latest victories in the war on drinkrelated behaviour problems

Booze bother down booze blitz has resulted in 120 people a month being shown yellow warning cards for drink-related misbehaviour in Brighton and Hove. And, since the campaign’s launch last year, a total of 14 people have been given red cards, banning them from 150 city centre bars and clubs.

The city council has joined in by refusing drink licences for a supermarket, a takeaway and two off licences. Police said the accumulative result has been impressive: assault causing injury has dropped from 166 in 2005/6, to 151 the year after and 152 last year.

Assaults involving less serious injury were down 24 per cent in three years, from 2,979 in 2005/6 to 2,191 in 2007/8. And the Royal Sussex County Hospital has seen assaults outside the home fall 13 per cent from 2004/5 to 2007/8, and the numbers of adults treated for the effects of binge drinking is also down.

Hardly surprising then that Brighton and Hove has been named as a national centre of excellence for managing drinking and licensed premises in city centres. The council, police and other local partners have together won government Beacon Status for managing the night-time economy.

Council officials say success was based on a range of measures including better transport, providing alternatives to drink, working with young people and firm enforcement. City authorities scored well for various innovations to manage the impact of licensed premises and the effect they can have on public safety and law and order. Among local measures that impressed the judges were: • Closing rowdy pubs and banning troublemakers from bars.

• Football-style red and yellow warning cards for troublemakers, threatening pub bans.

• Special all-night buses to disperse crowds quickly • Safe Space – a drop-in centre in West Street for distressed young people.

Drink remains a major problem, but Sussex Police said similar crackdowns and seizures of drink from youths around the county are producing positive results.

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“The Royal Sussex County Hospital has seen assaults outside the home fall 13 per cent”

One of Britain’s most up-andcoming interior designers has revealed one of the secrets of her success: a love of burlesque.

Emma Saxby has carried out décor makeovers for stars including Brighton-based 2004 US Open golf winner, Michael Campbell, and former world boxing champion Chris Eubank.

She has also worked for jockey Richard Dunwoody. Next on the list is expected to be glamour model Katie Price, who wants a redesign of her Surrey home.

Emma, ranked among the UK’s top rising stars in The Observer, admits her love of burlesque is a major influence in her work. “It is feminine, flamboyant and unreal, and I often design home interiors that are like that,” said the 34year-old, who organises burlesque charity balls from her home in Hove.

“When my clients walk into their homes I want them to feel like they are stepping through the wardrobe into Narnia, into a world of fantasy and the fantastic.”

Emma is proud of her links with Brighton’s past: “I am a fourthgeneration Brightonian.

“My greatgrandmother ran the catering at Brighton Station [designed by a

Saxby], one set of my grandparents ran Barlow’s coal merchants, and the other set were publicans at the nowdemolished New England Tavern – which is where my mum and dad met.

“My parents, uncles and sisters are mostly entrepreneurs, mainly in cars and property and I am very proud of my family’s hard work and success.”

Mostly self-taught, Emma works from her home where she lives with her two sons, Max, nine, and Oliver, 12.

She was behind the designs at Toast Champagne in Church Road, Hove, and a Grade I Listed building in Brunswick Square, which features on Emma’s website and will form her entry in the forthcoming Sussex Heritage Awards.

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14 LETTERS | SPORT

Latest Sport Roundups and rumblings from the Latest Sport bunker Help for Heroes We’ve unfortunately become all too accustomed to hearing about the loss of British troops in recent conflicts. However, we don’t hear about the men and women seriously injured in the line of duty.

This is where ‘Help for Heroes’ comes in. Help for Heroes (www.helpforheroes.org.uk) was launched in October 2007 by a group of friends and relations of services personnel who wished to do something to help the wounded coming back from Afghanistan and Iraq. They are strictly non-political and accept that wars happen under any government; they simply want to help, relying on the kindness of strangers to raise funds.

On 1 May I’ll be showing my support for this great cause by donning my hiking boots and trekking approximately 1,100 miles from Land's End to John o'Groats – living out of my hiking bag all the way! If, like me, you’d like to make a difference to the lives of injured servicemen and women, I would greatly appreciate your support. We may not be able to prevent our troops from being wounded, but together we can help them get better.

You can sponsor me by visiting my online fundraising page at www.justgiving.com/eds-h4h-trek or follow my progress at eds-h4h-trek.blogspot.com. If you’re a UK taxpayer, Justgiving also makes sure 25 per cent in Gift Aid plus a three per cent supplement are added to your donation. Thank you in advance for your kindness.

Ed Gunter, Brighton Marina

LATEST

LETTERS

Off to a tee Latest Sport offers you the chance to win tickets to a major golfing show he London Golf Show is returning to ExCeL, London Docklands, from May 1-3 for its fifth outing and will once more offer everything in golf under one roof. Ryder Cup star Lee Westwood was among the thousands of golfers to attend last year’s event and was impressed with what he saw.

“The show has been great. From a golfer’s point of view it is terrific because they get to see all the equipment under one roof and actually give it a try,” Westwood says. “I’ve enjoyed having a go at the 100ft putt, although my attempt on the putting green was abysmal.”

Visitors to the 2009 show will have just as many chances to swing a club, with a host of interactive features on offer, and some fantastic prizes to be won. The golfing bonanza will offer everything golfers’ hearts desire including big brands, customfitting, a huge indoor driving range, a massive American golf store, and celebrity appearances.

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Tribute to Jade Dear Dani, I read your article (issue 417), it was lovely and was so correct. It will help so many others think about what she had done. I saw her in such a great light [so] I didn’t follow it too much as I didn’t agree with it at the time, but read bits and saw bits on the TV. It was so upsetting in the end.

Tamara Downer

“Golfers get to see all the equipment under one roof and actually give it a try”

Photo: Keira76

In addition visitors can take in everything from the latest fairway fashions and hottest destinations to the latest golfing gadgets and gizmos. To buy tickets or for more information call 0844 847 1650 or go to www.londongolfshow.com.

We have teamed up with our friends at the London Golf Show to give our readers 10 pairs of tickets to the event. To stand a chance of winning two tickets simply answer the following question: Which Ryder Cup golfer attended last year’s London Golf Show?

Send your letters or comments to: letters@thelatest.co.uk You can also send to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

For a chance to win, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘London Golf Show’ in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email, with your name, address and telephone number. Or write to us at the address on page 3. Closing date: Monday, 27 April.

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COVER STORY 15

Love supreme Straight from the West End, Kneehigh Theatre Company present Brief Encounter ollowing their sensational success at The Haymarket in the West End, Kneehigh Theatre Company present one of the most memorable and heartbreaking love stories ever told.

Noël Coward’s enchanting play tells the story of Laura, a middle class housewife in the 1930s, who is struggling with her repetitive life. Returning from one of her weekly excursions she gets a piece of grit in her eye and is helped by a passing doctor. Enjoying each other’s company, the two arrange to meet again but to their surprise they find their innocent and friendly relationship rapidly developing into love. The production follows the couple as they embark on a furtive, yet dreamy, affair.

While staying true to Coward’s original storyline, ten actor musicians recreate the world of Milford Junction with film, music and words. When you enter the auditorium the cast are there to greet you, playing music to welcome their audience and immediately taking you back to a bygone age of romance and the silver screen.

This interactive piece is played in the auditorium, on-stage and through pre-recorded film clips by the superb cast who sing, play musical instruments and dance – as well as act. This nostalgic and glamorous mix will make you feel as if you have stepped back into Coward’s enchanting world, guaranteeing a uniquely theatrical evening that has left both audiences and critics overwhelmed by emotion, laughter, tears and praise for this exceptional production.

You are assured a night at the theatre you will treasure forever.

Brief Encounter, by Noël Coward, Tuesday 21 to Saturday 25 April Theatre Royal BrightonTickets priced £15–£26 are available from Theatre Royal Brighton box office on 08700 606 650 (bkg fee) or online at www.theambassadors.com/brighton

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16 ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & drink Andrew Kay finds Circa cooking for a short season at La Marinade

Well rounded I

n darkest Kemp Town there is a restaurant called La Marinade that is normally run by chef Nick. Very good it is too, a real local delight.

But Nick has gone away on his hols and, rather than shut up shop, he has asked an old mate to stand in for him in his absence. Which is why Circa has its name outside for the next few weeks.

Circa originally broke ground in Lewes a few years back. It was brave and original, and garnered many excellent reviews, including one from me.

Then last year they left Pelham House, where they had moved to, and concentrated on event catering.

It would always put a smile on my face at any party if I saw Mark from Circa choreographing the canapés.

Now they are taking a chance to promote what they do and help out an old friend. And I was there like a shot, accompanied once again by my old mucker Mr L. Unsure of what to expect, we were more than delighted to find a compact menu of five starters, five mains and four puds, and all for the startling sum of £15 a head. Well, there is a recession so the wise money is backing the bargain set menu right now. But let me make it clear, there was nothing bargain basement about the fare on offer.

To start, there was a substantial amuse bouche, miniature fish and chips with tiny allumette and breadcrumbed crayfish tails in a tiny wooden boat, cute and delicious. That took the tally up to four courses in my book.

Mr L quickly settled on a blue swimmer crab porridge with shaved bonito. I love shaved bonito, it looks alive, as if it is waving you farewell as you lift it to your mouth. The porridge itself was mainly crab meat and simply delicious. I was, I have to say, pretty envious.

I chose the tandoori whitebait, which I loved. They were crisp and light, served with a yoghurt dressing and a cucumber salad that packed a perfect hit of chilli. And there was just the right amount of

“Let me make it clear, there was nothing bargain basement about the fare on offer”

little fishes to feed me, too many whitebait and they can start to repeat on you.

Mr L moved happily on to a lamb rump that had him an raptures of delight, waffling on about “rich and dark but still sweet and tender as a fillet steak” and such like. I have to say it did look delicious and the lollipop-like lamb sumac kofta looked amazing too.

Sweet potato and goats’ cheese butter had him oohing and aahing all the way to puds.

I chose a beef rib with Korean hasselback potatoes and a corned beef pesto. It also had a bulgogi jus, which involves sugar, soy sauce and sesame oil. Complex stuff all told, but pulled off with a sure hand. And what a piece of beef, well trimmed and cooked to the exact point of perfection. The greens on top were also robust and bitter, matching the sweetness of the sauce well. The potatoes were sculptural, tasty too, but definitely art. I mopped up every last morsel from my plate.

To finish, MR L chose Sussex cheese and received three hefty chunks of perfect specimens with oatcakes and a fat slab of membrillo. “How nice to get cheese and not smears,” he commented, and he was quite right.

I chose a dark chocolate terrine but only because it came with cherry cola ice cream. I know, perverse, but so tempting. And I loved it: absolute bliss. This is a short season in which they will highlight their work as caterers, but simply not to be missed – get there fast.

Circa at La Marinade: 77 St George’s Road, Brighton, BN2 1TF, call 01273 600992.

Circa Events: Bevendean Farm, Woodingdean, BN2 6AF, call 01273 694111 or visit www.circacirca.com

BARDSLEYS Fried Fish Shop & Restaurant Seating for 100 22/23/23A BAKER STREET, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

Tel Brighton 681256 Fully Licensed Restaurant

Skate - Haddock - Cod - Huss etc

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HOTLIST 17 locally-caught fish. Food is unpretentious modern British, by top chef David Edward, who has worked with chefs like Gordon Ramsay. The restaurant is family-friendly. Head to the Seattle Bar for coffee, afternoon tea, cocktails or a night cap. It’s near Seattle Hotel – or spend £75 in the restaurant on Sunday night, and you stay over for free!

Brighton Marina, Brighton.

Call 01273 679799, www.hotelseattlebrighton.com

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

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Restaurants British and modern European

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Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256.

Birdcage Walk The place to relax, eat good, fresh food and enjoy a drink: latte, glass of wine or a beer. A grown-up bistro with a laid back atmosphere, where you can enjoy a night out without having to shout above music and a place to nurse your hangover with a big breakfast or Sunday lunch. Head chef Toby Humphreys (ex Gingerman) has designed a modern European menu – with a menu change every six weeks enabling an up-to-date selection of seasonal dishes.

300 Ditchling Rd, Fiveways, Brighton, BN1 6JG, 01273 561757

Chimney House Recently opened with a stylish and cosy new interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu, includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a bowl of soup and glass of wine at lunchtime or a hearty three-course dinner.

28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton, BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of home-cooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and Sunday roasts.

Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, soak up the sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000, www.coachhousebrighton.com

Seattle Restaurant This breathtaking restaurant, upstairs at Seattle Hotel, has great views and the best seasonal, local produce and

Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere.

Locals and foodies mix in this familyfriendly pub – a hidden gem, which has remained busy through word of mouth.

The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers.

88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF. 01273 542271 www.prestonparktavern.co.uk

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant serving excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. From a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner.

Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game and desserts, and a wine list full of affordable treats. Use the terrace when the weather is warm or the dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

Sam’s of Brighton Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter.

1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222, www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

Chinese Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French Cocoa French patisserie on Queen’s Road.

Everything is prepared each morning on the premises by their French gourmet pastry chef. Front of house serves coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea,

amongst others. Seating by a mural of the roofs of Paris is relaxing and bohemian. A recent French visitor said: ”The best croissant in Brighton, better than any I found in Paris!”

48 Queen’s Rd, Brighton, 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine.

A hidden gem and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu of twocourses £10.50, three-courses £12.50 on weekdays, and two-courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday. À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6–10pm.

10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day and an AngloFrench cheeseboard. Enjoy the southfacing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast.

196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk

Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

Thai Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes, sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive wine list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. Enjoy – :“Sanuk” 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee

Indian Chaula’s This place is unlike other Indian restaurants – Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce.

Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu.

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of the old lanes. The food is regional Indian cuisine executed at the highest level. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food as well as a good selection of thalis and the everpopular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a well chosen wine list also feature.

42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi or just relax. In Kemp Town Village, just off St George’s Road and College Road.

Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. An excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options. Spacious interior and works of local artists. Child friendly, with disabled access and free WIFI. Free live music or comedy every Saturday night.

Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, 01273 248890

Bars Koba Bar and Club

Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos.

Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out.

Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton.

01273 720059

To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150

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4/9/09

2:16 PM

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18 EVENTS

Best foot forward for charity

Festival of feeling hits Hove

The Martlet’s Midnight Walk for Ladies is a great way to raise money and have fun!

Get ready for the Spirit of the Millennium Festival at Hove Town Hall

The annual Martlets Midnight Walk for Ladies will take place on Friday 19 June.

The 13 mile walk around the city will start, and finish, at Brighton Racecourse and is the hospice’s biggest annual fundraiser – in 2008 over £150,000 was raised.

Walkers must register in advance. The registration fee is £10, each walker receives a Midnight Walk Tshirt, breakfast at the end and a souvenir medal. The walk is professionally marshalled and is sponsored by a number of local companies.

Antonia Shepherd, event manager at the hospice, said: “ The Midnight Walk has proved really popular. It’s a walk not a race and many of the participants feel a real sense of achievement completing the course. Many people walk with family or friends or as teams. Many walk in memory of a loved one who may have been cared for at the hospice or by the Martlets@Home team. Others believe in the work of the hospice and use the Midnight Walk as an opportunity to raise much-needed funds to enable us to maintain our services. There was a real party atmosphere at last year’s walk and we hope to capture that magic again.

Ros Tovey is taking part in memory of her friend Marion, who died earlier this year at the hospice. “Marion loved walking and was a great supporter of the hospice. I know she would have wished to have been remembered in this way.”

Register online for the 2009 walk at www.themartlets.org.uk Registration forms can be obtained from www.themartlets.org.uk, by calling 01273 747455 or from the hospice shops in Brighton, Hove, Saltdean, Peacehaven and Lewes.

Spirit of the Millennium is a mind, body and spirit festival coming to Hove Town Hall in May. The one-day event features top-class mediums, clairvoyants and astrologers. A variety of luxury, pampering treatments are available on the day including reflexology, Indian head massage, aromatherapy, Thai yoga massage and more.

The festival is also the place to purchase unusual gifts as traders will be selling crystals, books, CDs, jewellary, natural health products and arts and crafts.

There’s also the opportunity to have an aura photo taken with the amazing colour aura-camera, complete with an explanation of what those colours mean.

Talks and demonstrations take place throughout the day. Unwind between events with refreshments in the organic café. Come along with family and friends and share a new experience.

Spirit of The Millenium 2009, Mind Body Spirit Festival, Sunday 31 May 2009, Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, 10.30am–7pm, £2.50, under 12s free.

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EVENTS 19

The magic of mayhem Join the NoFit State circus for their new show The award-winning critically acclaimed NoFit state circus will return to Brighton with a new version of their show tabĂş. NoFit State is the leading UK contemporary circus company and their last production Immortal achieved cult status on the European circus circuit and won prestigious awards at several international festivals.

Combining cutting-edge circus, performance, live music, and video the audience enter the giant silver spaceship big top and become immersed in a promenade circus event taking place above around and amongst the audience in an explosion of furious fun and choreographed mayhem.

Book tickets from 08448 480910 or www.nofitstate.org.

Show dates 28 April to 10 May 2009

PUBLIC NOTICE

Property Address: 26 Fernwood Rise, Westdene, Brighton, BN1 5EP We are acting for the mortgagees in possession and have received an offer of ÂŁ282,000 for the above mentioned property.

Any interested parties must submit any higher offers in writing to the agent before exchange of contracts takes place.

Fox & Sons Estate Agents, 205 Preston Road, Brighton, BN1 6SA

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HEALTH 20

Stretch it Pain in the back? You don’t have to live with it, writes Zara Baker t’s reported that five million of us visit our GP each year with back problems. Many of us put up with a niggling ache that’s always there, perhaps not experiencing enough pain to raise concern.

This week is National Chiropractic Week (13–19 April), meaning it’s time to face the issue and defuse the ache.

Lifestyle plays a huge role on back pain. While genetics can come into the equation too, daily wear and tear is the most influential factor. Like an annoying tooth ache, it should not be ignored. Pain killers and creams may help ease the pain, but if it’s simply masking the problem, it’s time to see a chiropractor.

If your job is active and involves lifting, damage to the spinal structure may be caused over time. Alternatively, one lift of a box may suddenly put out your back. Remember the golden rule to lifting: bend with the knees, keeping the back straight. At the other end of the work spectrum is if you you spend most of the day seated at a desk. Take regular breaks, moving and stretching your body. Avoid hunching your shoulders sitting over a keyboard and ensure your chair supports the small of your back when seated. An awareness of posture in everyday routines can help improve and prevent back pain.

Our lifestyle impacts on our health and wellbeing directly.

Pregnant women may experience back pain as they carry about the extra weight. People who are overweight can experience this too, as an extra toll is taken on the body. A simple exercise plan and diet recommended by your GP can improve your lifestyle and ease back pain that may have been ‘put up with’ before.

Exercise such as yoga is ideal, with posture and alignment focused on. Stress can also be reduced – another common cause of backache.

Make National Chiropractic Week the time you make changes to your lifestyle. For effective results without drugs or surgery, a chiropractor can help relieve pain. Joints, tendons, nerves and ligaments are focused on, in particular those in the spine, working to reduce pain and improve the individual’s lifestyle as a result.

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4/9/09

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LATEST LISTINGS 21

latest listings

YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO WHAT’S ON 14 – 20 APRIL Under review Here’s our roundup of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk

Orchestra Baobab This legendary African/Latin band was formed in 1970, the brainchild of then Senegalese Government ministers. More than thirty years on and with a few changes in the line-up and about 20 years off during the 80s and 90s, they are still touring.

Dressed sharp, the band took to the stage and immediately looked at ease. I counted three pairs of leather trousers, some

super flamboyant African shirts and one of the sax players wearing ‘MC Hammer’ pants!

The Dome was soon filled with their warm sound. One or two of the band members were shaking out some dance moves and generally having fun with the crowd as they played. Still legends today, well worth seeing.

Gethsemane David Hare's spin on ‘spin‘ has a far deeper routed message, which is about belief, faith or even blind faith.

The script, occasionally clunky, is on the whole a precision weapon. But as ever a precision weapon is only really powerful in skilled hands, otherwise it is merely dangerous.

The National Theatre production is sublimely skilled and delivers an evening of provocative thought, wrapped in a sugar coating of blissful entertainment. There is no weak link in the entire endeavour.

Hare's hatred of ‘the press’ even had the press roaring in self-recognition while squirming in their seats. A chillingly penetrating night at the theatre.

Theatre Royal, Brighton, 31 March

★★★★★ Andrew Kay Simon Evans

PJ Harvey, p29

23 Stage The Police Cells set the scene for a new show

24 Film High School Musical’s Zac Efron on 17 Again

26 Comedy The experimental nature of comedy shows

The Dome, 3 April

★★★★★

26 Art

Rob Burdick

Thurston Hopkins’ Moments of Happiness

27 Kids & events Charity walk and a new marine project

Hot review of the week Robin Ince People are not as stupid as we are led to believe, says Robin Ince. His wild and unashamedly geeky rants are a case in point. This twohour show, roughly-themed around politics and religion, had the audience rapt. It‘s rare to see a comedian take on these targets without striking a didactic stance – but Ince‘s finely-timed asides are too irreverent to ever be right-on.

I guess it‘s also rare for a comedy set to feature a musical interlude by the likes of Philip Jeays, a fantastic Jacques Brel-styled tragicomic crooner. Nevertheless, both men have the wit to match their passion, and the result was equally hilarious and inspiring.

27 Books The Lewes Monday Literary Club beckons

Komedia, 29 March

Tag Comedy Tag Comedy is a fantastic format – four circuit level comics brought together to share one set, tagging each other off stage when they want to take over a topic in the manner of verbal tag wrestlers.

The creator of the show, Stephen Grant, wasn’t in the house, leading to a less rapid pace of tagging, but the general feel of competition for the laughs and survival of the fittest was ever-present with Ian Stone and Simon Evans stepping up as the clear daddies of laughter. This is always a banker for comedy.

★★★★★

Komedia, 2 April

Ben Bailey

28 Music Kirk Brandon of Spear of Destiny speaks; news; previews; gigs

31 Clubs Get that Friday Feeling all week long

32 Gay News; events and nights out

34 Television Dani on the box; TV film highlights

★★★★✩ Victoria Nangle

For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk

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4/9/09

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latest

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The city’s magical live music and party venue tues april 14

eleven 37s + storm engine + swervin merv bass heavy quality funk rock 8pm £3/2

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mike rosenberg + support unplugged alternative acoustic 8pm free

thurs april 16

the big swing glorious rat pack swing band 8pm £10/9/8

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syd arthur + special guests

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top young psychedelic lovelies 8pm £6/4

vibrant swing jazz, party like it’s 1939! 8pm £5

sat april 18

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8pm £7.50/7

sun april 19

vineyard gospel at its soulful best 7pm free

soul djs night soul, motown & northern soul 11.30pm–2.30am, free

roast ‘n’ jazz with yvonne lloyd vocals & roy hilton piano 12.30pm til 3.30pm £10 incl lunch

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4/8/09

5:43 PM

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STAGE 23

Suffrage revisited Top of the bill The imprisonment of Sylvia Pankhurst staged in Brighton’s Old Police Cells

A talk on the Theatre Royal Brighton’s illustrious history

quaremoon return to the Fringe with their compelling brand of new writing. Performed in the atmospheric Old Police Cells, Nourish takes us on an unfettered journey into the imprisonment of suffragette Sylvia Pankhurst.

George Bernard Shaw is quoted as saying: “There are only two opinions about Sylvia Pankhurst. One was that she was miraculous. The other was that she was unbearable.”

In 1913 women across the country are fighting for the right to vote. As the movement spreads, the government’s clampdown becomes ever more brutal. Despite the government’s public denials, mental and physical torture becomes standard in the treatment of women prisoners.

Arrested for activism, Sylvia Pankhurst is cast into Holloway Prison. In protest at her unjust imprisonment she goes on hunger strike. This is the story of Sylvia Pankhurst’s five-week strike from food, water, and finally, sleep.

Passionate, idealistic and ahead of her time, Sylvia Pankhurst charmed and infuriated the British elite in equal measure. Her determination to help others regardless of class, race and sex alienated her from her celebrated family, and tested her health and sanity to their limits.

Based in Brighton, Squaremoon Ltd is a theatre company intent on creating incisive, entertaining and intelligent theatre. Previous productions include Lucy (co-produced with the National Youth Theatre, 2006), The Cow Play (South East tour 2007), and Total (Brighton Festival Fringe 2008).

Nourish will be on at The Old Police Cells Museum, Brighton Town Hall from Tuesday 12 May until Saturday 16 May at 7.30pm. The show runs for approximately one hour. Tickets are available from the Brighton Festival Fringe, visit www.brightonfestivalfringe.co.uk, or call 01273 709709.

hy not join Julien Boast, chief executive of Theatre Royal Brighton, and Wendy Walker, senior archivist for the East Sussex County Council Archive, for a talk on the Theatre Royal Brighton’s illustrious history, and to discuss the book 200 Years, which features a fascinating collection of theatre playbills spanning 200 years of productions at this much-loved theatre?

All are welcome to this free event, which will includes a complimentary glass of wine. Julien and Wendy will host a question-and-answer session after the talk, and the remaining limited copies of the book, some signed by actor Simon Callow, a patron of Theatre Royal Brighton and writer of the book’s foreword, will be on sale at a specially reduced price.

Marcus Bagshaw of Borders Books says: ‘‘The Theatre Royal Brighton is undoubtedly one of the most historic and best-loved theatres in England. The book 200 Years illustrates beautifully the rich pageant of shows and performers that have played to Brighton audiences throughout that time. Borders Bookstore, Brighton are very excited and proud to be promoting the book, which will be the focus of a special Borders event that no theatre lover can afford to miss.’’

Borders Books, Churchill Square, Brighton, Thursday 23 April, 6.30pm–7.30pm. Please note this event is not ticketed.

W

Stage listings

Rudyard Kipling’s Just So stories for children.

• 15–18 Apr, 7.30pm, Wed, Fri and Sat, 5pm Thu, 2.30pm mat Wed and Sat. £14/10 Sign of the Times New comedy from the writer of Calendar Girls about two men who dream of success.

• 20–25 Apr, 7.45pm, 2.30pm mat Wed and Sat. £13.50–£21

S

Tuesday 14 to Monday 27 April Brighton Dome

Chichester Festival Theatre

01273 709709 www.brightondome.org London Philharmonic Orchestra Sibelius’s Second Symphony.

• 18 Apr, 7.30pm, £10–£32.50 Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare’s classic play performed by Sussex Downs College students.

• 26 Apr, 7pm, £6/4 As You Like It As part of Sussex Downs College’s Shakespeare season.

• 27 Apr, 7pm, £6/4

01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Noel Coward’s Hay Fever Comedy of bad manners based on a London stage star and her dysfunctional family.

• 14 Apr–2 May, contact venue for times/£

The Capitol, Horsham 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Rat Pack Vegas Spectacular New show featuring great music from the 20th century; • 19 Apr, 7.30pm, £17

Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk That’ll Be The Day Classic gold hits from the 1950s to the 1990s combined with feelgood comedy routines.

• 26 Apr, 7.30pm, £18–£21

Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Just So – The Musical Musical based on

Julien Boast

Marlborough Theatre Dome box office: 01273 709709 Portrayal of a Messiah An alternate nativity play. A work of fiction based around the characters present in Jesus’ lifetime – his friends and loves.

• 14–16 Apr, 7pm, £6.50

Theatre Royal 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Boeing Boeing Hysterical, chaotic story about an architect with three air hostess fiancées.

• 14–18 April, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, please contact venue for £.

Brief Encounter Noel Coward’s play from the West End – a company of ten actor-musicians recreate the world of Milford Junction.

• 21–25 Apr, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm, Thu & Sat, various £, please contact the venue.

Upstairs at Three and Ten 07800 983290 www.otherplaceproductions.co.uk Das Theatre Presents: Would Like To Meet Provocative young theatre company WLTM share intimate secrets with the audience.

• 23 Apr, 7.30pm, £7/5

Worthing: Connaught Theatre 01323 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Nutcracker Dazzling interpretation of the famous show performed by English Youth Ballet.

• 23–25 Apr, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £18/16

Worthing: Pavilion Theatre 01093 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.u Moby Dick The girls of St Goldley’s School come up with a plan to raise money for their struggling school by hosting a musical version of Moby Dick.

• 22–25 Apr, 7.45pm, plus 2.45pm Sat, £12–£14

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24 FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 14 17 AGAIN (12A) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 2.15, 5.30, 8.30 CHE: PART TWO (15) 8.15 DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION (PG) 11.45 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 12.40, 3.10, 5.45, 8.45 KNOWING (15) 6.00, 8.45 LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) 12.40, 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 MARLEY AND ME (PG) 10.45, 1.15, 3.40 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 10.30, 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 9.15 PAUL BLART: MALL COP (PG) 10.40am RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (PG) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00, 7.45

Wednesday 15 17 AGAIN (12A) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 2.15, 5.30, 8.30 DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION (PG) 11.45 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 12.40, 3.10, 5.45, 8.45 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 8.15 KNOWING (15) 6.00, 8.45 LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) 12.40, 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 MARLEY AND ME (PG) 10.45, 1.15, 3.40

MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 10.30, 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 9.15 PAUL BLART: MALL COP (PG) 10.40am RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (PG) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00, 7.45

Thursday 16 17 AGAIN (12A) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 2.15, 5.30, 8.30 DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION (PG) 11.45 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 12.40, 3.10, 5.45, 8.45 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 8.15 KNOWING (15) 6.00, 8.45 LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) 12.40, 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 MARLEY AND ME (PG) 10.45, 1.15, 3.40 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 10.30, 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 9.15 PAUL BLART: MALL COP (PG) 10.40am RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (PG) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00, 7.45 THE READER (15) 10.30am

Films showing Friday 17–Monday 20 CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 14

Saturday 18

FIFTY DEAD MEN WALKING (15) 1.30, 6.30 LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) 4.00, 9.00 RACHEL GETTING MARRIED (15) 11.00am

FIFTY DEAD MEN WALKING (15) TIMES TBC JIMMY NEUTRON: BOY GENIUS (U) 11.00am LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) TIMES TBC

Wednesday 15

Sunday 19

FIFTY DEAD MEN WALKING (15) 1.30, 6.30 LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) 4.00, 9.00 RACHEL GETTING MARRIED (15) 11.00am

FIFTY DEAD MEN WALKING (15) TIMES TBC LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) TIMES TBC

Thursday 16

FIFTY DEAD MEN WALKING (15) TIMES TBC LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) TIMES TBC

FIFTY DEAD MEN WALKING (15) 1.00, 6.00 LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) 3.30, 8.30

Monday 20

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Friday 17 FREAKS (12A) 11.00pm FIFTY DEAD MEN WALKING (15) TIMES TBC LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (15) TIMES TBC

www.cineworld.co.uk

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 14 17 AGAIN (PG) 10.20, 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 11.40, 2.40, 5.40, 8.40 DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION (PG) 11.30, 1.50, 6.40 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 10.50, 1.30, 4.10, 6.50, 9.30 HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT (15) 9.20 KNOWING (15) 3.10, 6.10, 9.10 MARLEY AND ME (PG) 4.00, 8.50 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 10.40, 12.00, 1.00, 2.20, 3.20, 4.40, 5.50, 7.00, 8.20 PAUL BLART: MALL COP (15) 10.30, 12.40 RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (PG) 10.10, 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30

Wednesday 15 17 AGAIN (PG) 10.20, 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 11.40, 2.40, 5.40, 8.40 DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION (PG) 11.30, 1.50, 6.40 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 10.50, 1.30, 4.10, 6.50, 9.30 HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT (15) 9.20

I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 4.00, 8.50 KNOWING (15) 3.10, 6.10, 9.10 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 10.40, 12.00, 1.00, 2.20, 3.20, 4.40, 5.50, 7.00, 8.20 PAUL BLART: MALL COP (15) 10.30, 12.40 RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (PG) 10.10, 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30

Thursday 16

L7 lowdown What’s on this week

17 Again (12A) Dir: Burr Steers Be careful what you wish for – hilarity may ensue if an older mind occupies a younger body. So say the comedy rules that brought you Freaky Friday, Big and Vice Versa. Another chance to prove them comes when Matthew Perry is so fed up with his thirtysomething life he wakes up as teen pin up Zac Efron, and tries to recapture his youth once more.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld I Love You, Man (15) Dir: John Hamburg Peter (Paul Rudd) is so loved up with Zooey that he wants to marry her.

Everyone – ahhh. But he’s got no bessie mates to act as Best Man and goes on a quest to find one. Only problem with this is that his new ‘bromance’ with Sydney (Jason Segal) is so much fun he hardly sees that lil’ ol’ girl of his dreams any more.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Dragonball: Evolution (PG) Dir: James Wong A live action version of the manga series created by Akira Toriyama.

Young Goku is out to find Master Roshi (Chow Yun-Fat) and the seven mystical balls before mega baddie Lord Piccolo (James Marsters) gets his mits on them. Fab. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Monsters Vs Aliens 3D (PG) Dir: Rob Letterman, Conrad Vernon The latest 3D animation to come from DreamWorks sees a wee girl (Reese Witherspoon) zoomed up into a 49’1’’ mega sprog. Taken into a top secret government compound with residents that include Dr Cockroach (Hugh Laurie) and other monsters, their talents are in hot demand when aliens try and take over the Earth.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

The Boat That Rocked (15) Dir: Richard Curtis The latest from the barn of comedy known as Richard Curtis’s mind. Set in the Sixties this is the tale of the trials and tribulations of one pirate radio station on a boat that fought ‘the man’.

With a motley crew led by The Count (Philip Seymour Hoffman) this is another delightful ensemble comedy.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing Fifty Dead Men Walking (15) Dir: Kari Skogland Jim Sturgess stars as Martin McGartland in this film based on his autobiography as a British spy within the IRA in the 1980s. Working his way up the ranks from volunteer, raising the risk to himself each day to report to his British handlers, this is a dramatic tale of a man still in hiding today. Also starring Sir Ben Kingsley and Rose McGowan.

Showing at Duke Of York’s Let The Right One In (15) Dir: Tomas Alfredson This Swedish horror questions how much we will forgive for new love, as bullied 12-year-old Oskar finds his new friend, the pale and mysterious girl Eli, gives him the strength to stand up to his tormentors. However – and this is a big ‘but’ – she’s got secrets of her own he must reconcile with.

Showing at Duke Of York’s and Odeon Rachel Getting Married (15) Dir: Jonathan Demme Anne Hathaway was Oscar-nominated for her turn here as Kym, returning home for her sister Rachel’s weddings, bringing with her loads of family baggage, darkly comic one-liners and a knack for bombshell drama. Plus a great ensemble cast to remind us of all of the pitfalls of family gatherings.

Showing at Duke Of York’s

17 AGAIN (PG) 10.20, 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 11.40, 2.40, 5.40, 8.40 CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE (18) 9.20 DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION (PG) 11.30, 1.50, 6.40 FAST AND FURIOUS (12A) 10.50, 1.30, 4.10, 6.50, 9.30 I LOVE YOU, MAN (15) 4.00, 8.50 KNOWING (15) 3.10, 6.10, 9.10 MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D (PG) 10.40, 12.00, 1.00, 2.20, 3.20, 4.40, 5.50, 7.00, 8.20 PAUL BLART: MALL COP (15) 10.30, 12.40 RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (PG) 10.10, 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30

www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

01903 206206 Tues 14 – Thurs 16 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00

PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES BEFORE TRAVELLING

Saturday 18 WALL-E (U) 10.15am

Let The Right One In

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8/4/09

6:30 PM

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FILM 25

©2008 New Line Cinema

I don’t want to say her name but I still remember her. I’m never going to forget that. There just are things like that – getting Matthew Perry called out by one of your teachers in front of the whole class. Public speaking in high school’s a nightmare. I was actually alright because I was doing musical theatre, but some people would literally get the shakes and not be able to talk in front of the class. It’s very unnerving.

Coming of age

You just turned 21.

What was your party like?

It was, I mean, a 21st birthday party. I had a lot of close friends and family. It was probably pretty low key for a 21st birthday party, I imagine. But it was a lot of people that I had never seen

High School Musical star Zac Efron on growing up in new film 17 Again What made you want to make 17 Again your next film?

Honestly, there was an opportunity when I read this script that I recognised. There were so many roles post High School Musical that were just high school stories. They were regular high school characters.

They were dealing with high school romance and high school scenarios and high school drama. In 17 Again, I had an opportunity to play a 37-year old man, which is someone I can in no way relate to. And that seemed more interesting. I got a chance to play my father, really.

That seemed like more fun. It seemed like the less obvious choice. And I had a blast doing it, so I’m glad that it came through.

Can you talk about observing Matthew Perry and Matthew Perry observing you playing him?

Director Burr Steers was telling us that he would work with you to help you get his mannerisms.

Yeah, all the time. Matthew’s face is very specific and his

“I’d probably change a million things if I could go back” mannerisms are very specific.

He’s got, I don’t know, a built-in culture that was fun to try to find with him and Burr. He was always available on the phone, and I could call him and just ask, ‘What should I do here?

I’ve got three things that I might try.’ And he would say, ‘Go with the first one.’ Or he would just point out things to remember: ‘Now, remember here that this is the most important thing that’s ever happened to you.‘ He would give advice. So, I was very grateful to Matthew for that actually. I owe him a lot.

I’d probably change a million things. If I could go back, I’d just pat myself on the back and be like, ‘Dude, you’re out of here.’

And you’re out of here in no time, honestly. It felt like forever. High school feels like you’re stuck there for an eternity. And the whole time you have to deal with all these strange social interactions because you’re trapped with all these kids your own age that are so different than you.

If you had a chance to go back to high school, would you change anything about it?

Who was the prettiest girl in your school?

The prettiest girl in my school?

Win cinema tickets to a film of your choice at the Odeon Brighton For a chance to win this week’s tickets, answer this question: What character did Matthew Perry play in the hit sitcom Friends?

Email your answer to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘17 Again’ in the subject box, or write to us at the address on page three. Closing date for entries is Monday 27 April.

The winner will get a pair of tickets to see a film of their choice. Proof of age may be required.

in the same room before, so I was very excited to have that.

There were probably about 60 people, something like that.

Close friends, friends from high school, friends from L. A., friends that I met from different projects.

Burr and Thomas [cast member Thomas Lennon] were there.

It was an interesting crowd.

Do you feel older than you are sometimes?

Yeah, I think a little bit sometimes. From a very young age I got along with adults.

Do you ever wish you were older?

Maybe at times. But I’m also very young at heart, I think. I still have fun. I still have fun doing very young things, like watching cartoons in the morning!

Catch Zac Efron in 17 Again, showing at Odeon and Cineworld now.

026_LS419 stand-up/art

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26 STAND-UP COMEDY | ART

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle is amazed by the many splendrous comedy formats of the Fringe

ontext is everything. Whether it’s the punchline of a joke, reference to your surroundings or simply the evening’s format. Once context has been established there’s a trust that it’s set up for the duration and the evening’s entertainment will be contained within these parameters. If someone’s putting on a series of comedy sketches and then switches to stand-up this transition is usually announced, to re-assure the audience. After all, you trust whoever has the mic as the tour guide to your evening and if they don’t know what’s happening next who will? Bring on the flying monkeys and the anarchy! Which is why, in these days of mixed format entertainment nights, it’s good to know exactly where you stand in the map of the evening’s journey.

C

“In bygone times this map would have appeared in the form of printed boards on a musical stand at the side of the stage...”

In bygone times this map would have appeared in the form of printed boards on a musical stand at the side of the stage, announcing a magician, followed by a flame thrower and a scene from As You Like It performed by a collection of rogue dancing bears. Anything could have happened, but at least you knew what to call it. It gave a fluid journey to the night’s proceedings, and if you were lucky you might even have a scrap of paper telling you who was up next handed out by the usher at the door.

There is a point to this. Comedy nights are getting more experimental, which is good. Playing around with the format, mixing up different talents, introducing podcasts into the mix and an air of improvisation with guests to an evening’s show. It’s a very exciting time as new formats are introduced or reinforced at the Festival Fringe in May. In fact, there’s so much going on it’s almost liking stepping back into a Music Hall era of old – you knew I was going there. As such I’d like to make a plea to let an audience vaguely know the format of the evening. Without the aforementioned context so much of a performance can be lost. And I want every tiny scrap of all the magical entertainment out there.

☺

Stand-up wisdom: “Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.” George Carlin

The Kiss

Happy snaps Photographer Thurston Hopkins is exhibiting at the Charleston Gallery Moments of Happiness brings together a rich selection of photographs by Thurston Hopkins that capture the revived spirit of British life as it emerged from the austere aftermath of World War II. They capture a time of simple pleasures gratefully taken, and reflect the broad human experience with great energy, warmth and gentle humour. Born in London in 1913 and a graduate of Brighton Art School (now part of the University of Brighton), Hopkins is best known for his work in the pioneering magazine Picture Post, which he joined in 1950. During his eight years working for the renowned magazine, he travelled widely on assignment and photographed people all over the world.

Thurston Hopkins: Moments of Happiness, until 10 May, Charleston Gallery

Art listings Bellis Gallery 8-9 Kings Road, Brighton, 01273 747429 James French Photographic exhibition.

•Until 27 April, Mon, Wed–Sat 10.30am–6.30pm, Sun 11.30am–6pm

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery

Comedy listings Wednesday 15

Thursday 16

A Portrait Of Shazia Mirza Highly acclaimed observational stand up comedian and writer Shazia Mirza presents her hilarious new show full of stories. Komedia, 8pm, £10.

Jimmy Carr – Joke Technician The hardest working man in comedy presents his new stand-up show. The Hawth, 8pm, £20.

The Prince Arthur Comedy Night A collection of local comedy talents come to Hove in this monthly free comedy night. Prince Arthur, 8:30pm, free

Friday 17 Krater Comedy Club Top class comedy featuring Johnny Candon, Seann Walsh and Dave Fulton. MC Stephen Grant. Also two shows

Saturday and one show Sunday.

Komedia, 7:30pm, £12.50/10.

Saturday 18 Wil Hodgson: Straight Outta Chippenham Punk-rock-folk storyteller hits the road again with more tales of Spice Girl dolls, street fighters and small town alienation. As odd as it sounds, and also very funny.

Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5

Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Lives Less Photographed: Working Class Life in Brighton, 1860–1935 Exhibition that reveals rare images of local working class life: the people, and the lost areas of Brighton where they lived.

•Until 26 April Paintings Unwrapped This exhibition takes 60 paintings and helps you look at them with a fresh eye. Many of them will be on display for the first time in many years and include modern, local,

international and historical works.

•Until 13 April

Editions plus Hungarian printmaker Nagy Sandor Zoltan.

Until 29 April

Fairtrade Gallery 26 Montague Place, Brighton 07790 511576 Jim Saunders Original stencils.

Until 15 April Binnie, Glew, Sanders, Shuttlewood Group exhibition.

16–22 April

Permanent Gallery Bedford Place, Brighton 01273 710389 Hidden Persuaders Anthem Exhibition of new paintings, prints and constructions by Louise Bristow.

•Until 26 April, Thurs, Fri & Sun 1pm–6pm, Sat 11am-6pm

Pelham House St Andrew’s Lane, Lewes 01273 488600 Artizan Editions Exhibition of printmakers from Artizan

Charleston Gallery Charleston Farmhouse 01323 811626 Thurston Hopkins Graduate of Brighton Art School who spent eight years working as a photographer for the Picture Post, capturing the revived spirit of British life as it emerged from the austere aftermath of World War II. •Until 10 May, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm

De La Warr Pavilion Bexhill-on-sea 01424 229111 Susan Collins: Seascape New body of work by this artist who combines digital technologies with the classical traditions of English landscape painting.

•Until 14 June, open every day, 10am-6pm

027_LS419_events/books

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KIDS & EVENTS | BOOKS 27

Write club

Events highlights

John O’Donoghue visits Lewes and explores its long traditional of radical thinking ost people in Brighton think Lewes is either a posh town, all Agas and Barbours, or else a good place to go on Bonfire Night. But there’s a lot more to Lewes than meets the eye. Thomas Paine lived here for starters, before he left for America and revolution. He seems to have left a radical legacy; the Lewes pound, transition town status, and Norman Baker, MP, all form part of a proud tradition that goes back to him.

M Life Centre is appealing for 13to 15-year-olds, their parents or their teachers to write in and nominate schools to take part.

Selected school classes will each be assigned a research project and a delegation of four pupils plus a teacher from each invited to the May event.

Junior Whaling Commission Calling all 13- to 15-year-olds looking to make a difference to the marine world! This is your chance to take part in a junior version of the international forum that meets annually to decide the fate of the world’s whales. This is a chance to have a say and tackle the whaling debate yourselves.

Delegations from 12 schools will be chosen to attend the twoday Junior Whaling Commission at the London Aquarium on 20 and 21 May. The event will consider the same issues facing the International Whaling Commission, whose annual meeting will take place just weeks later in Madeira.

School classes selected to represent each of 12 different UK Sea Life centres will be assigned research projects. Brighton Sea

Bowel Cancer Awareness walk April is Bowel Cancer Awareness Month. Ashtons Pharmacy in Brighton have arranged a sponsored walk to raise funds and create a greater awareness of the disease.

They need as many people as possible to sign up for the 8km walk over the beautiful Downs on Sunday 19 April. Volunteers to help marshal the walkers are also needed.

If you are interested in doing the Bring Up the Rear walk with Ashtons, volunteering to help on the day or sponsoring the walk, contact Celine at Ashtons Pharmacy on 01273 221458, or email celinesprey@ashtons pharmacy.com for more information.

Events listings Saturday 18 Mad Hatters Market Full range of crafts, specialist foods, jewellery and gifts. Come and browse every Saturday and Sunday. All alongside the chilli store, the fair trade store and new galleries. Brighton Marina, 11am–4pm

Sunday 19 Bringing Up The Rear Walk in aid of Bowel Cancer UK. Approx 8km (exact route still being devised). Lend your support and raise sponsorship.

Register with Ashtons, contact Celine on 01273 221458 or celinesprey@ashtonspharmacy. com.

“With seven events for £20, Lewes Monday Literary Club was great value” This sociable tradition is also at work in the Lewes Monday Literary Club, first founded in 1948 by writers Barbara Willard and Frances Howell. The Club meets every month at Pelham House, once headquarters of East Sussex County Council and now a rather swish hotel. I joined at the start of the current season, back in the autumn. With seven events for £20 it’s been great value. So far I’ve seen Andrew O’Hagan, Daljit Nagra, Katherine Whitehorn, and a few weeks ago I went along to see Nicola Beauman, founder of Persephone Books.

On a rather cold evening, about 150 members of the Club turned up to hear Ms Beauman in the chamber where the councillors used to meet. Persephone publish works by neglected women writers: the likes of Katherine Mansfield; Richmal Crompton; Monica Dickens.

Before Bridget Jones and chick lit, this was who your mothers and grandmothers read, a canon nearly lost, but which Persephone has rescued from the underworld of obscurity.

Nicola Beauman spoke frankly and wittily about setting up Persephone, and answered questions. She gave a masterclass in publishing; in how to take a small press and make it work. Not that it’s so small now. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day by Winifred Watson has sold over 100,000 copies and is now a major film. Intelligent marketing and sheer enthusiasm has been the key to Persephone’s success.

Rather like the Lewes Monday Literary Club itself, I like to think.

Tom Paine takes centre stage at the next meeting, the last of the season. I, for one, will definitely be renewing my subs.

Colin Brent, historian, on Tom Paine in Lewes, Pelham House, 8pm, 27 April, £5 non-members. Visit Persephone Books at www.persephonebooks.co.uk.

Book listings COMING UP Thursday 23 April Perspectives on Ancient Egypt Study day to coincide with the new Ancient Egypt galleries at Brighton Museum. The Old Courtroom, book on 0300 0290902. 10am–4pm, £25 (Price includes tea/coffee but not lunch.)

Saturday 18 April Pace and Weight Mavis Cheek looks at techniques for variation in pace when writing.

Where to increase, where to slow and the use of weighting.

Jubilee Library, 10:30am–4:30pm, £50 nonmembers/35 members. Visit www.newwritingsouth.com or call 01273 735353 for more information.

Brighton Behind The Front – City Reads History Walk Exploration of Brighton's wartime settings with local historian Jackie Marsh-Hobbs.

Meet on the west side of the Volks Railway ticket kiosk, Madeira Drive, 11am–12:30pm, £6 City Reads Film Screening Free City Reads film screening of The Pianist. Jubilee Library, 1pm, free

COMING UP Saturday 23 May Prose and Language With Susannah Waters.

Look at examples of chosen authors and see how they construct sentences and paragraphs. Incorporate the techniques into your own writing. Jubilee Library, 10am–4pm, £50 nonmembers/35 members. 01273 735353 for more information.

028_LS419 Music_News

4/9/09

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28 MUSIC NEWS

latest music

with Jeff Hemmings

★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

British Sea Power

Destiny’s child It’s been 25 years since the release of One Eyed Jacks.

Spear of Destiny’s Kirk Brandon spoke to Jeff Hemmings irk Brandon, frontman of Spear of Destiny, has been making music since the punk days. Lead singer with The Pack, he then found a degree of success with Theatre of Hate, who had a hit with ‘Do You Believe In The Westworld’. Following their demise in 1982, Kirk went on to form Spear of Destiny.

Not surprisingly, and perhaps not helped

by Kirk’s blonde hair and somewhat European look, Spear of Destiny were, along with New Order and Joy Division, criticised for their name, which has been construed to have Nazi overtones.

“Me and Stan [Stammers] went on to form Spear. The name is based on the spear that Longinus pierced Christ’s side with, when he was on the cross, in order to prevent his suffering anymore,” explains Kirk Brandon, long-time resident of the Brighton area. “I originally wanted to call the band Russian State Circus, but they thought Spear of Destiny was better, based on this talisman.”

SoD were a commercially successful outfit back in the 80s – World Service (1985) and Outland (1987) were both top 20 albums, and they had a number of minor hits including the brilliant ‘The Wheel’. But for this tour they are resurrecting perhaps their best loved album: 1984’s One Eyed Jacks. “It’s all the rage,” says Kirk of the current vogue for revisiting past works. “We did it last year with our first album Grapes of Wrath, which was great. We can’t decide if we want to do the whole album in the original order or mixed up a bit. But we might even drag in a Theatre of Hate song or two.”

K news ▲

Raising the flag Brighton band British Sea Power will be performing a live score to Man Of Aran, a ‘docu-fiction’ made in 1934 on life on the Aran Islands off the western coast of Ireland. It portrays characters who live in pre-modern conditions and their hardships, documenting their daily routines such as fishing off high cliffs, farming potatoes where there is little soil, and hunting for huge basking sharks to win liver oil for their lamps.

Duke of Yorks, 18 April

▲

Man, we’re free!

On The Fiddle recordings and Rocker’s Revolt have teamed up to release two exclusive tracks from The Levellers and Pama International. The Levellers’ track is a live recording of ‘Before The End’ from their show at the Royal Albert Hall last September, and the Pama International track is called ‘No More Guns, Love Is Easy’, which is taken from the brand new anti-knife/gun project album Pama International – Highrise Campaign. The tracks are available from www.levellersdownload.com.

the

Back in town with a new album, Journal For Plague Lovers.

Tuesday 2 June, Dome

Big

Manic Street Preachers

gig

Brandon has suffered from the autoimmune condition reactive arthritis since the late 80s, and for a time he couldn’t walk, but it’s clear that he’s just glad to be doing what he loves: making and playing music.

So, how does it feel to be still doing it all this time? “I can’t believe I am still alive,” he says. “Without sounding like some old war veteran, I’ve lost quite a few friends to hardliving and in the past few years I’ve been getting the feeling that I am a survivor.“ Spear of Destiny, 23 April, Concorde 2.

UPCOMING GIGS The Rakes 21 April, Concorde 2 Spear of Destiny 23 April, Concorde 2 Australian Pink Floyd 18 April, B’ton Centre Diamanda Galas 2 May, Dome Gallows 2 May, Concorde 2 Art Brut 6 May, Concorde 2 Portico Quartet 6 May, Old Market Po’ Girl 10 May, West Hill Hall The Levellers 11 May, Parlure Spiegeltent Orquesta Aragon 12 May, Dome Great Escape 14–16 May Yolanda Brown 17 April, Old Market Bon Iver 18 May, Dome Kimya Dawson 19 May, Komedia Antony & The Johnsons 21 May, Dome Counting Crows 24 May, Brighton Centre

Terry Callier 28 May, Coalition Kristin Hersch 27 May, Duke of Yorks Manic Street Preachers 2 June, Dome Florence & The Machine 2 June, Concorde 2 Camille O’Sullivan 5 June, Dome Orbital 10 June, Dome Katy Perry 11 June, Dome Jarvis Cocker 16 June, Dome Billy Bragg 17 June, Dome Jeff Beck 24 June, Dome The Saturdays 25 June, Dome Loop 10–12 July, Victoria Gardens Beachdown 28–31 August Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre

029_LS419 Musiclist/Musichi

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MUSIC 29

Music listings

Music highlights

Tuesday 14 to Monday 20 April

Tuesday 14 April to Monday 20 April

Tuesday 14 Baroness + Gorse Brittle Abrasive alt-rock to lash long locks to. Engine Rooms, 7:30pm, £tbc David Byrne Former ‘Talking Head’ Dome, 7pm, £35 Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele Lo-fi bitter-sweet pop jams The Hope, 8pm, £6 Eleven 37s + Storm Engine + Swervin Merv Quality funk rock. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £3/2 Horace Andy & Ashley Beedle. See highlights. Concorde 2, 8pm, £15 The Christians Soul-influenced sophisti-pop Komedia, 7:30pm, £18.50 The Prodigy + Dizzee Rascal The infamous Essex ravers plus the razor fast lyrics of Dizzee Rascal. Brighton Centre, 7pm, £28.50 The Silence + Spitefire + Sixth Row Prince Albert, 8pm, free The Virgins + Support See highlights. Digital, 7pm, £7.50 The Wave Pictures Charming 60s guitar pop Freebutt, 7:30pm, free

Wednesday 15 Agent Orange + Gimp + Hotlines Prince Albert, 8pm, free.

Club NME with Floors & Walls + The Woo!worths Brighton Coalition, 10:30pm, free Hobbie & TC Johnston + Rizzle + Hannah Burton Audio, 7:30pm, £4.

Mike Rosenberg + support Unplugged alt acoustic. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, free.

PJ Harvey and John Parish See highlights.

Corn Exchange, 7pm, £20 Sacred Mother Tongue Growling metalcore.

Engine Room, 7:30pm, £tbc Spirit of Gravity Female electronica Komedia, 8:30pm, £5/4 The Answer See highlights. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £11 The Sly-Tones A rock, psychedelic, garage, blues fusion. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4/3

Thursday 16 Bat For Lashes See highlights. Corn Exchange, 7pm, £12.50 Doves Euphoric dance-floor sounds. Dome, 7pm, £18 It‘s Alive presents: Dan Dunne & The Reels + The Long Goodbye Hectors House, 8:30pm, free Moly Go Go + Rob Blake Freebutt, 7:30pm, free My Device + Herzoga + Shit Machine + Who Owns Death T.V? Prince Albert, 8pm, free The Big Swing Live Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £10-8 The Veils The Hope, 8:30pm, £5

Friday 17 Brighton Jazz Club Komedia, 8pm, £12 - 8 Gary Moore Dome, 7pm, £25.94

Led DC Portland Rock Bar, 9pm, £4 Red Shark In Vegas + The Milk And Honey Band + The Loyal Few The Providence, 8pm, free Syd Arthur + Teardrop Modelmaker + Flash Bang Club + Jouis. Folk, world, jazz, psychedelic, prog and rock music. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/4 The Charge + CHOP, CHOP: BEAR TOUCH? + Villareal Prince Albert, 8pm, free The Rockingbirds Engine Room, 7pm, £tbc The Wailers Live Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, £17.50 Tribute to Abba +70s Disco Komedia, 7:30pm, £12 We Have Band + Plugs Freebutt, 7:30pm, free Yolanda Brown Award-winning saxophonist The Old Market, 7:30pm, £10

Saturday 18 Alaska Pipeline The Hope, 8pm, £5 Buzz Club - Saw Gang Buzz + United Snakes + I Am Jack + Man From Reno Hectors House, 8pm, free London Philharmonic Orchestra Dome, 7:30pm, £32.50 - 10 Maybeshewill + Beunos Aires Freebutt, 7:30pm, free Shortfall + Messed Up Joey + The Crissars The Providence, 8pm, free Southern Nights Influenced by 50s and 60s rock and pop Portland Rock Bar, 9pm, £3 Supper Club with Mascara Motown 60s Motown meets modern soul. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £10/8 The Australian Pink Floyd The godfather of tribute bands. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £28.50 Vice Squad + The DeRellas + support Prince Albert, 8pm, free

The Virgins Superb New York outfit who are about to unleash their self-titled debut. Perhaps destined to be one of the albums of the year, The Virgins effortlessly embrace new romanticism, new wave, American style college rock, British kitchen-sink indie and the rest. In short, where art-rock meets indie-disco, with Spandau Ballet/Haircut 100 type rhythmic guitar popping up here and there. Live, they are simply great.

Tuesday 14 April, Digital Horace Andy & Ashley Beedle Old school reggae and house music merged on their recent collaboration, which they are atempting to play out live. Horace Andy’s music stretches out lyrically on a series of wry, topical commentaries around brotherhood, love and the family, all rooted in his rasta beliefs. Although Beedle is best known for his work with X-Press 2 and for his consistently excellent jazzy and soulful ‘four-to-the-floor’ house music remixes, reggae is a crucial part of his musical DNA Tuesday 14 April, Concorde 2 The Answer Some people don’t want hidden meaning, or sophisticated structures within their music. They just wanna rock out, and the answer to that is in The Answer, of course!

Moving on (admittedly, not very far) from where AC/DC left off, this lot are rising to the top of the steaming pile of lank hair, denim and

monster riffs. And deservedly, too; their recent album Everyday Demons is a culmination of an eight year struggle, with their recent support to AC/DC on the European leg of their tour being the icing on the cake.

Wednesday 15 April, Concorde 2 Bat For Lashes Brighton’s Natasha Khan plays her biggest local date yet, in support of her new album, Two Suns, the follow up to her critically applauded debut which was nominated for the Mercury Music Prize back in ‘07. There’s a new line up in-store including ex-Ash guitarist Charlotte Hatherly and Ben Christophers. Live, her work becomes a much more visual affair, making up for the lost intimacy now that she is playing the bigger venues. Expect to hear the influence of Tori Amos, PJ Harvey, Bjork and Kate Bush.

Thursday 16 April, Corn Exchange PJ Harvey & John Parish Blues-rock sorceress trafficking in social politics and dark, tormented song-writing, She dismisses claims that her songs are 100% autobiographical. Not surprisingly, there’s a lot of passion and awe for Harvey, one of the best female ‘rock’ talents to have emerged in recent years. Her new album A Man A Woman Walked By sees her re-united with John Parish, and it’s another successful work.

Wednesday 15 April, Corn Exchange PJ Harvey & John Parish

Sunday 19 Baabra Braba’s Beatabet Bra Bar! Beatabet Orchestra I.C + Support Prince Albert, 8pm, free Bombay Bicycle Club Audio, 7:30pm, £tbc Brides + Support Engine Room, 7:30pm, £tbc One Taste Collective with Gideon Conn + 6 Day Riot + The Adventurists + Dockers MC Hanbury Club, 7:30pm, £tbc Rocket Dolls Freebutt, 7:30pm, free The Whitest Boy Alive Digital, 7pm, £10.50 Vineyard Featuring: Simonne Weeks + Linda Ronald + The Evening Service band Latest Music Bar, 7pm, free

Monday 20 Adam Kidd Band + Peepshow Voyeurs + F**k You Planet Earth Prince Albert, 8pm, free Breakthrough with Rough Trade with The Ray Summers + Kit Ashton + The Lucans Latest Music Bar, 7pm, £5/4 NUS Propagandhi + Random Hand + Crazy Arm + The Fallthrough Concorde 2, 7pm, £12

Roast Jazz

&

Every Sunday from 12.30 £10 including lunch Sun 19 Apr Roy Hilton & Yvonne Lloyd

Sun 26 Apr Jo Harman & Carl Hudson

Sun 3 May Sara Oschlag & Terry Seabrook

Sun 10 May Magdalena Reising

01273 687171 14–17 manchester street

030_LS419 reviews/chart

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30 MUSIC REVIEWS | CHART

REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases he Virgins sound like a soundtrack to Skins but with an 80s slant. There’s a bit of Spandau and Duran mixed in with modern indie sounds on their eponymous debut album. These New Yorkers are quite capable of bringing many disparate elements to the table, for instance the Arctic Monkeys-esque ‘Fernando Pando’ sits easily with the disco gloss of ‘Teen Lovers’. Overall, one of the albums of the year.

Brighton’s Gloria Cycles release their third single, ‘Chancer’, another upbeat slice of witty indie, set to a frantic ska rhythm.

There’s a little bit of The Clash on this one, while the Dexy’s-style horns of tatters again reminds one that the band are fans of punk and post-punk. Expect their album soon.

Punk heroes Siouxie and The Banshees sometimes get ignored in favour of the usual suspects The Clash, Sex Pistols and Buzzcocks, even though the band consistently hit the charts in their 1976–86 heyday, and their first eight albums were all top 20. Their experimental, almost avant-garde sound, particularly in their early days, neatly rubbed shoulders with their more poppy moments such as ‘Christine’. This is all captured on the three-CD Siouxie and The Banshees At The BBC, featuring many of their finest songs, recorded at BBC studios and live in concert for the Beeb. An exhausting, but timely reminder of how good this lot were.

Also on the experimental and avant-garde tip were Deutsch Amerikanishen Freundschaft, DAF for short. This German duo took the Kraftwerk template and inserted some extra electro grooves, and for a short period, 1979–82, DAF were supremely cool and cutting edge. Now, some of it sounds a little dated, but still packs a subversive touch. The Best of DAF is being released to coincide with some renewed touring activity.

Originally a folksy band, The Broken Family Band seem to have decided that sometimes one needs to just rock out and get that head nodding, and so lead track ‘Please Yourself‘ on new album Please and Thank You, marks a new direction for this American outfit.

Loosely made around the woolly idea of ‘being nice to people’ this is, despite the sunny sounds and upbeat grooves, rather mild and middle of the road. It’s a pleasant diversion though…

T

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to

www.thelatest.co.uk/7/chart

Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 N-D-E – Incredible Machine ★ 2 Thunk – Micromophone 3 Frunt, Bak & Nutz – The Rites of Wolf 4 The Woo!worths – Konichiwa 5 Tubba 3 Ply – Gerhard 6 Last Days Of Lorca – Big Green Parcel Machine 7 Chaos Borne – Watching 8 The Mojo Fins – Always Now 9 Mr resonate – Say What You Mean 10 Caramel Jack – We Could Build Skyscrapers It’s a fresh-faced 40 this week with five new appearances, including cult indie artist Chris T-T and guitarist, David Bolstridge. Highest new roller is ruff-and-tuff, breaking beats bunch, Tubba 3 Ply at five with ‘Gerhard’. However the top four remain stubborn with N-D-E heading their revolution! Could a continuing flow of fresh meat finally make garnish of them?

11 Mr Resonate All That I’m Not 12 Tenek If I Should Fall - EP version 13 R21 Proved You Wrong 14 Caramel Jack Curtain 15 sMs I’m Sorry Dave 16 Tenek State Of Mind 17 Glitters From Billy Holiday 18 Chaos Borne The Moment 19 Breakinbear Breeze 20 Freudstein Sister Sleaze 21 Hatchdown Come Down Easy 22 Swarf Parlour Tricks 23 Without Warrant Stop The Machine 24 Friday Night Hero Our Time 25 Jaybee Sweet Savage

26 Portslade Girls and Boys 27 Cath O’Drae Sofageddon 28 Mr Resonate The Oposite Vibe feat. North Laine & Lionheart 29 Sam Charles Jupiter 30 Victoria Ferguson & Ben Ingall Every Time 31 Millsy Slug Music My Giddy Aunt 32 St Michel Remedy 33 Cath O’Drae Mugged By The System 34 Pete Lambrou with Rhia Lock To Silence Our Little Hearts 35 Millsy Slug Music Power 36 Go Johnny Go Ebbenflow 37 North Laine Crys 38 Chris T-T A-Z 39 David Bolstridge Love Is Only Sweet...

40 Rosko For Your Ears Only

Crossword solutions HAS MOVED TO BRIGHTON

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or call Michael on 01273 687671

Solution Cryptic 189 ACROSS: 5 Itch 7 Even-handed 8 Leer 10 Leadless 11 Banana 12 Scurry 14 Duress 16 Patchy 17 Ethereal 19 Ripe 21 Rediscover 22 Ones.

DOWN: 1 Zeal 2 Enervate 3 Dahlia 4 Ideals 5 Idol 6 Censorship 9 Evacuation 13 Ulterior 15 Steady 16 Polish 18 Ears 20 Errs.

Solution to Quick 189 ACROSS: 5 Feat 7 Ungrateful 8 Palm 10 Reaction 11 Harvey 12 Recede 14 Stolen 16 Famine 17 Attained 19 Deep 21 Attendance 22 Snob.

DOWN: 1 Gulp 2 Primeval 3 Stormy 4 Affair 5 Flat 6 Accordance 9 Adaptation 13 Comedian 15 Ninety 16 Fading 18 Arab 20 Peep. © Crossword Shop

031_LS419_Clublist/Clubhi

4/9/09

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BARS & CLUBS 31

Bar & Club listings

Bar & Club highlights

Tuesday 14 April to Monday 20

Tuesday 14 April to Monday 20

Tuesday 14 Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco.

10pm–2am, £3/2.

Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Fine salsa and latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, free.

Digital Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Ocean Rooms Prodigy Afterparty. 3 floors after party madness spinning Rave, Old School and Prodigy Anthems. 10pm, £tbc.

Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and punk mash-up. 10.30pm–2am, £1–£3 Tru It’s All About The 90s. 10pm–2:30am, 90p Water Margin Sessions.11pm–4am, £2/free.

Wednesday 15

Thursday 16 Audio Shameless Presents Quids In. Trashy pop anthems, indie classics and retro hits plus a hefty raffle prize. 11pm, £1.

Brighton Coalition Love Blow. The choicest R’n’B, funky house and floor-fillers.

10.30pm–3am, £2/1 NUS. Funky Buddha Lounge Old Kool. Classic house from DJs Lee Garrett, Vince Frimpong, Ben Prok and guests. 10.30pm–3am, £free–£3.

New Hero Pop Kraft. 10pm–2am, £2 Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. 10pm–3am, £3/2 Water Margin Love Lockdown. DJs; Show n Prove, Skills, Kush, and special guests. 7.30pm, £ladies free all night.

Friday 17 Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. 60s night.

11pm–3am, £3 Audio Tru Thoughts. Brew of hard jazz, electro, latin, hip hop and house, laced with dirty, heavy basslines from Chris Vogado. 10pm–3am, £tbc.

Brighton Coalition Glitch. See highlights.

11pm–6am, £tbc.

Concorde 2 Freebass. See highlights.

11pm–4am, £free.

Digital Stonelove. 101% indie rock’n’roll with DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4.

Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative for eyeliner’d up boys and girls in

Saturday 18 Arc Hold Up. Indie night. 10:30pm–4am, £5 Audio SoL’s Winter Sessions. 11pm–4am, free.

Brighton Coalition Logo Vs Big & Filthy. More sexy house music vibes and big filthy bass line sounds. 10pm–4am, £7/5.

Concorde 2 Supercharged - Beatdown.

Turntable wizardry from The Scratch Perverts, plus hot newbie, Jack Beats. 11pm–4am, £12.50.

Cuckoo Club Muzika. Cutting edge and funky retro house with guests. 10pm–4am, £10/8.

Engine Rooms Classic Rock. Classic rock and metal night. 10pm–2am, £5.

Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove. 10pm–3am, £10 Followed By: Electric Disco. 3am–7am, £5/3.

Komedia Trailer Trash. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

Beetlejuice! See highlights. 9.30pm, £7.

La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house from all over. 8pm–4am, free b4 11/£6 after.

Ocean Rooms Glitterati vs Loveblow. R’n’B, Funky house and electro. 11pm, £tbc.

Om Bar and Club Floorgasm. Producing the finest dirty, funky house/breaks/electro. 10pm.

Pavilion Tavern Drop Zone. Dark, Heavy, Glam, Alternative Dance. 10.30pm–3am, £4/2 Po Na Na Silk. R’n’B, funky house and commercial. 10pm–3am, £10/5 Tru Glitterbaby. 9pm–3am, £10/8 Volks Insurgence. Diamond blasting hard dance and trance to explode your mind. 11pm, £tbc.

Water Margin Logo. 3am, £7/5.

Tel: 01273 234779 email: info@bhvolunteers.org.uk www.bhvolunteers.org.uk

Glitch Festival collective Little Green Planet come to Coalition for the first time for a night of electronic based party vibes. Bringing together the best Electro Tech and Minimal DJs from the Festival and rave party scene – including Lucus, Tongue and Grove, Josko and Morph, it’s sure to be a night of deep and spiritual ascendancy.

Friday 17 April, Brighton Coalition.

Freebass

Monday 20 Coalition Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free.

Honey Club Disco Babe. 10.30pm–2.30am, £3/1 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. 10pm–2.30am, £3/1 Club Chat Noir

Jaime Pettit

DRIVER TRAINING Brighton and Hove Volunteers is here to help and support young people aged 16–25 to get involved in voluntary work in the city. It's a great way to try something different, gain experience and have fun while doing something useful for your community. We can help you find all sorts of voluntary work that fits in with your lifestyle and accredit your work with a nationally recognised V award.

Trailer Trash Step inside Tim Burton‘s twisted little mind and bring his gothic fantasies to life.

Beetlejuice themed night with cabaret, circus sideshow and aerial live acts, to a backdrop of scenes from the movie. Expect rock’n’roll, dirty electro, neo-swing and classic 80s music from resident DJs Mr Grinel and The Future Sound of Elvis. “Dress to distress”... c’mon Brighton, get those shrunken heads out.

Saturday 18 April, Komedia.

Arc Irie. Ragga, R’n’B. 10pm–3am, £5/3.

Honey Club Cafe Mambo. Chilled beach vibes.

5pm–11pm, free.

ZODIAC Aged 16–25?

Club Chat Noir + Swing Deville + The Hot Club of Belleville Try a grown-up clubbing experience with Brighton’s one and only, muchloved gypsy and 20s/30s hot swing club. Two live bands and dedicated swing DJ Mike the Mic, plus the option of supper club. Get your glad rags on and work out why this night is such a long-running hit.

Friday 17 April, Hanbury Club.

Sunday 19

★

Do something different...volunteer!

Freebass Does what it says on the tin – it’s free and it’s full of bass. Brighton’s heaviest free party smashing out all kindsa basses with Lunarcy and Zapback DJs. Everything from D’n’B to jungle, breaks, electro, old skool, dubstep and reggae.

Friday 17 April, Concorde 2

with Jaime Pettit

Justin de Souza

Arc Life Is Easy. A Mid-week interlude of indie classic new and old, plus floor-fillers a plenty.

10pm, £free b4 12/1 after.

Audio Supercharged. Step aside bass heads, for one of dubs greatest pioneers, Benga!

11pm–2:30am, £5/4 NUS. Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest with live NME bands & DJs. 10:30pm–3:30am, free.

Funky Buddha Lounge NYC. Unpretentious Pop, electro and house.11pm–6am, £3/2.

Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’n’B, Hip Hop, Dance Hall and Funky House. 10pm–3am, free/£2 Volks Genetics. Liquid, soulful and darkside bass and breaks. 10pm–3am, £1 b4 12/2 after.

Water Margin Forgive Me Father for I Have Synth’d. 80s electro. 11pm–3am, £tbc Followed by: Genetics. 2.30am–7am, £2.

PVC. 11pm-3am, £5/3.

Funky Buddha Lounge Release. Funky, soulful house music. 11pm–6am, £5 b4 12.

Funky Fish The Funkyfish.10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Hanbury Club Club Chat Noir. See highlights.

7pm–2am, £7 b4 9pm £10 after.

Honey Club Jank. Fidget House Music.

10.30pm, £tbc.

Komedia Born Bad. A wild night of 50s rock’n’roll, 6Ts garage and girl groups, surf, sleaze, bop and exotica. 11pm, £6/5.

New Hero Somewhere in the Universe…

Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3 Ocean Rooms Dolly Dagger. Live music from The Ghost of A Thousand + LR Rockets, plus DJs. 10pm–4am, £8 b4 11pm/NUS, £10 after.

Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4.

Chris Peters DSA ADI

To advertise here costs only £20

07768 863175 Learner Refresher Advanced Pass plus Registered Brighton Area

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032_LS419 gay news

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Page 2

32 LATEST GAY

BRIGHTON’S ONLY WEEKLY GAY GUIDE

Cleve Jones

NEWS

Get involved Anyone who wants to take part in this year’s Pride in Brighton and Hove festival needs to act quickly – there are just six weeks to apply.

Deadlines have been set for those who want to enter a float or walking group in the parade on Saturday 1 August, or have a trade stand at the dog show on Sunday 5 July. Applications for both must be in by 29 May. This year’s theme for the procession is Pride Beside the Seaside.

Pride spokeswoman Judith Manson said: “Last year’s carnival parade was fully subscribed so we urge anyone who wants to take part to consider their options and submit an application form as soon as possible. We are delighted to be working with Same Sky again on a series of Carnival Parade workshops in June. To qualify, your application must be submitted by Friday 29 May, so you really haven’t got long – the clock is ticking.”

Pride festival runs from 25 July to 2 August. Community groups are able to apply for support grants to run events during summer festival week, but they must enter their bids by 1 May. There will also be a free public relations workshop for all LGBT individuals and groups who want to learn about how to publicise their events. The seminar will be run by Steve Bustin from the Pink Paper on Thursday 14 May. To book or to find out more about any of the events, download application forms from www.brightonpride.org or call 01273 775939.

Shout it out An LGBT choir will sing protest and political songs during Brighton Festival Fringe.

Rainbow Chorus will bring their show Choral Propaganda to The Old Market in Hove on Thursday 21 May. It is the second year running that the choir has taken part in the fringe.

Stephen Watson, member of the Chorus and the designer of their website said: “In this

concert we present protest music, mostly from the 20s and 30s but with a small nod to later years as well.

“The struggle for gay rights is part of a wider struggle for human rights and in this programme we will be looking to a wider musical landscape than last year’s fringe performance.”

He said some of the same material will be used by the choir at the Royal Festival Hall on 4 May.

Forward steps Stonewall raises £280,000 at its annual charity dinner and prepares for its Brighton equality walk tonewall, the gay rights Maggi Hambling charity, raised £280,000 for its campaigning work at its annual Equality Dinner. The event marked Stonewall’s 20th anniversary and speeches looked back at what the lobbying organisation has achieved and how much needs to be done over the next 20 years.

Keynote speaker Cleve Jones, human rights activist, founder of Amy Lamé the NAMES Project Aids Memorial Quilt and instrumental in the campaign to get Harvey Milk elected, told Stonewall: “I salute you on your work... Peace and social justice was Harvey Milk’s vision and it’s the vision of the founders of this organisation.

Young people in this country are being beaten and killed just as in my country. Our struggle against homophobia is not over.”

The dinner was hosted by Amy Lamé, who in a few weeks’ time will help to lead the Brighton Equality Walk for Stonewall.

The celebrity auctioneer on the night was Christopher Biggins.

Following the dinner, there were DJ sets from Jodie Harsh and Kris Di Angelis. Ben Summerskill, Stonewall chief executive, said: “This year’s Stonewall Equality Dinner had a special 20th anniversary theme. But we didn’t just look back proudly over the achievements of the past two decades. We looked forward too – at all the steps towards lesbian and gay equality we plan to take in the next 20 years. Stonewall is busier than ever. We won’t stop until every single lesbian and gay person enjoys full equality – at home, at school and at work.”

The dinner, at London’s Dorchester Hotel, was sponsored by UBS for the fourth year. Auction lots included a styling session with Gok Wan, a painting by Maggi Hambling, dinner with Joan Collins and Christopher Biggins, a Kobi Israel print and front row tickets for Waiting For Godot followed by a backstage champagne reception with Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart.

All money raised from the dinner will go towards Stonewall campaigns such as Education For All, tackling homophobic bullying in Britain’s schools.

Stonewall’s next big fundraising event is the Brighton Equality Walk on Sunday 3 May, which will raise money specifically for Education For All. The charity needs £150,000 to send a copy of its educational DVD Fit to every school in the country.

Register for the walk at www.equalitywalk.org.uk

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033_LS419 gay listings

4/8/09

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LATEST GAY 33

Gay listings Tuesday 14 April to Monday 20 Tuesday 14 Amsterdam Tuesday Social. Chase the Monday blues with wine and music. 7pm, free.

Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity. 12pm, free.

Ghetto Quiz Alicious & Twisted Karaoke. Hosted

by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free.

Legends Relax– It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free.

Marlborough Bar & Theatre Drag King Night.

Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free.

Queen's Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free.

Revenge Playground. School Disco with a twist.

Trax from the 80s, 90s and 00s! 10.30pm–3am, free to NUS & those in uniform/£3 others.

The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Lil Alex spins the soundtrack of Brighton for scene staff and students. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free.

Wednesday 15 Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free.

Charles Street Bar Weekly Gameshow. A new spin on game shows. 8.30pm, free.

Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and 80s tastic cheese with a sprinkling of goth! 10pm, £2.50 Latest Music Bar Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. 7pm, £10 Legends Gabbi's Bona Bingo. Hosted by the TV show host & desperate housewife. 9pm, free.

Marlborough Bar & Theatre In-House Darts League. Nightly and annual prizes. 8pm, £3 Revenge Guilty. Big funky and electro beats.

11pm–3am, free NUS or b4 12/£2 after Star Inn Charity Jukebox. 12pm–11pm, free.

The Basement Play. Uplifting house and dance anthems with DJ Lil Alex. 11pm–4am, free.

Thursday 16 Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. £1.25 a pint, £1 a bottle, small wine or shot. 8pm–11pm, £1.

Charles Street Club Religion. Funky house with Mother Superior Joan Bond, Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm–3am, £4/3 NUS. Ghetto HDSM. Leather to lycra with Jon Byrne splashing out hard dirty sexy music. 10pm, £4/3.

Legends Cabaret Lounge. 9.30pm, free.

Marlborough Bar & Theatre Open Mic Night.

Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free.

Queen‘s Arms Spices‘s Nooks & Crannies. A cabaret show with a difference! 9.30pm, free.

R-Bar I Can't Wait For The Weekend To Begin.

Dulcie Danger sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free.

Revenge Girls On Top. Golden Handbag winning night. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out chart and pop remixes.

10.30pm- 4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £4/5 after.

The Basement Boys Below. Men only night. DJ Phil Marriott plays a mix of chart hit remixes and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free.

Friday 17 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies dished up by Ruby Roo and Connie Conway. Bar open 11am, free.

Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. Plus the fabulous Cassidy Conners and Connie Conway. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3.

Ghetto Popstarz. Indie recent and retro with Tommy Turntables. 10pm, free b4 11.

Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free.

Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girls Night. 2 floors of mayhem with DJs. 8pm–2am, free.

Queen's Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes with DJ Andy B. Plus unlimited drinks for £20! 9pm, free.

R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free.

Revenge Lollipop Vs Housexual. With Stewart T, DJ Hollie and guests. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after.

The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket.

Double the DJ power with Alex Baker playing girly pop and handbag. 11pm- 4am, free.

Dolly Rocket, Friday

Saturday 18 Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am, free.

Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. A blend of Gogo boys, feathered girls, HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3.

Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, £free b4 11.

Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free.

Marlborough Bar & Theatre Party Night.

Marly DJs slamming fab tunes plus live music and gorgeous people. 8pm–2am, free.

Queen‘s Arms Karaoke Party With Kamp Kevin.

Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm).

Then party! Bar open 12pm–12.30am, free.

R-Bar Kinky Baby. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous from 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar open 12pm–7am, free.

Revenge Kinky Dangerous. 2 top DJs, 2 floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics. 10.30pm–4am, £7/3.

The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart remixes from DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free.

The PV at The Jury‘s Out Saturday Madness.

The best in Brighton duets from 4.30pm, then from 8.30pm house DJs! Bar open 12pm, free.

Sunday 19 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch & Connie's Karaoke.

Roast then karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free.

Charles Street Bar Showtime. Performance from a cabaret superstar. 7.15pm, free.

Ghetto Sirens. Burlesque night with pole and lap dancing shows. 9pm, free.

Marlborough Bar & Theatre Sunday Quiz.

Food for the brain served up by resident Drag King Jack Roquard. 7pm, £1 per entrant.

Queen‘s Arms Cabaret & Candi Rell‘s Karaoke.

Cabaret with Lola Lasagne (5.30pm). 12pm, free.

R-Bar Sublime Sundays & Barmy Bingo. Becky Max Miller‘s acoustic sessions at 5pm followed

by Miss Jason‘s barmy bingo! 12pm–2am, free.

Revenge Altitude. DJ Alex Baker bangs out larger, faster dance anthems at this neon/dayglo dance party! 10.30pm–3am, £3/free if in theme.

The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes with new DJ, Ross Alexander. 11pm–4am, free.

Monday 20 Amsterdam The Big Quiz. 7pm, £1 per player.

Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning the last 4 decades with drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Ghetto Frat Party. Mash-up of indie, electro and credible pop plus drinking games! 10pm, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn & Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. Open 11am–5am, free.

Marlborough Bar & Theatre Trans Night.

Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free.

R-Bar Miss Jason's Mad house. Regular cabaret night plus a Wii Zone and free pool!

10pm, free.

The Basement Back To The 80s & 90s. Let DJ Steve Lush whisk you back with his nostalgic floor-fillers. 11pm–4am, free.

034_LS419_TVIntro

4/9/09

12:20 PM

Page 2

34 DANI | FILMS ON TV

latestTV

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE Dani on TV

14 – 20 APRIL

She says it how she sees it

Films on TV Top tips for your week of flicks WEDNESDAY 15

The Stepford Wives ★★★★✩ (2004, BBC1, 10.45pm. Dir Frank Oz) Remake of the original frankly freaky 1970s film about a family who move to the supposedly perfect suburb of Stepford, only to find that there’s something malicious in the perfection of these ladies. Played as a dark comedy this time around, it stars Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler and Matthew Broderick.

THURSDAY 16 Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan

The Apprentice BBC 1 Wednesdays an you believe this is series five? Can you believe that a lot of women in Britain have a little thing for Sir Alan Sugar? Can you believe that the boys group served cheeses and pickle on a stick whilst wearing togas? No, me neither! Fifteen more hopefuls are being put through their paces, all hoping to get that chance of a lifetime job within Alan Sugar’s company. It is too soon for me to have found a favourite yet. At the beginning of the show it is more fun to pick apart the contestants, because it is just so easy to do so.

You have to have a certain amount of confidence to be able to enter this kind of competition. You also have to have had a fair amount of success to even be considered. It is this confidence that is normally the contestants‘ downfall, and that is the part I like to watch (yes I know that makes me a sick person). I love it when one of the contestants decides they should be team leader for tasks because they feel they have experience in that field and then goes on to fail miserably. I love it when they get caught out, like last series when the kid who won lied on his CV. So far this series the episode with the sandwich making has been my favourite for sheer comedy value.

The girl, Yasmina, who had the most experience in the food industry being a restaurateur, took the role as team leader. That could quite possibly have been the worst decision she could have made. If she is fired her restaurant business may slow down – from watching her cook, and hearing her views on how to run a good food business, I wouldn’t set foot in one of her restaurants if I was paid!

The sad thing these contestants have to suffer is ridicule (and yes I am aware I am one of those ridiculing) but they all get stuff printed in the papers about them. One newspaper managed to get its hands on a photograph of one of the male contestants at a fancy dress party dressed as a woman. The paper, believe it or not, managed to make an entire story out of it. The contestants are brave. Not only do they have to get shouted at by Alan Sugar – the only man in the country who can ignore everyone else’s opinion and be loved for it – but they have to face the fact that every morning after the show is aired, Chris Moyles will rib them, the papers will say something new and there is more potential for them to be fired as the group gets smaller. I wouldn’t want to love it but I love to watch it!

C

★★★★✩ (2006, Film4, 9pm. Dir Larry Charles Sasha Baron Cohen takes his naively offensive-in-the-extreme Kazakhstani cultural reporter Borat on a road trip around America. Culturally baiting the unsuspecting Yanks with this character, satire and slapstick emerge as Borat’s prevailing force. May offend some.

FRIDAY 17

Nacho Libre ★★★✩✩ (2006, Channel 4, 10pm. Dir Jared Hess) Broad comedy about a monastery cook who moonlights as a Mexican wrestler to raise money for the little orphans. Bless. Starring Jack Black as the man in the tights with a crush on the new nun in town – wrong but go with it – you can be sure there’s plenty of slapstick here.

The Darjeeling Limited ★★★★★ (2007, Sky Movies Indie, 10pm.

Dir Wes Anderson) This quirky road movie across India sees three very different estranged brothers set off on a train together with the plan being to get to know each other better. Starring Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartzman as the brothers halfway between a slap and a hug together, this is a magical film.

SATURDAY 18

Behind Enemy Lines ★★★★✩ (2001,Channel 4, 10.35pm.

Dir John Moore) Action-packed thriller about a young naval aviator who captures evidence of war crimes while conducting a routine reconnaissance mission over a remote area in the Balkans. When his plane is shot down behind enemy lines, the rookie officer must escape from a Serbian paramilitary leader intent on covering up acts of genocide.

SUNDAY 19 Dogma ★★★★✩

(1999, Channel 4, 10.50pm.

Dir Kevin Smith) Aptly timed immediately after the religious holiday that was Easter, is this sacrilegious slacker comedy starring Ben Affleck and Matt Damon as two fallen angels trying to get back into heaven by taking advantage of a holy loop hole. With Linda Fiorentino as Jesus’ great-to-thepower-of-lots grandniece trying to stop them, it’s a fun theological poking caper.

MONDAY 20

Addicted To Love ★★★✩✩ (1997, Channel 5, 11.05pm.

Dir Griffin Dunne) When Meg Ryan and Matthew Broderick get dumped by their other halves running off into a romance bubble together, the rejects form an unlikely alliance in this dark comedy.

Meg wears eyeliner and tries to look edgy, Matt goes all washy-eyed and looks a bit soppy. Entertaining enough.

035_LS419_TV_tue

4/9/09

11:40 AM

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tuesday 14 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Five, 9pm The novelty of having Laurence Fishburne learning CSI-ness still hasn’t worn off, making all the old bits we thought we knew all the more interesting to pick up afresh. Why is the dusting powder different colours? Here’s why! Fab. Tonight a murder trail is interrupted by a violent suicide.

The Big Bang Theory Channel 4, 11.05pm This lovely sitcom about two socially inept but intellectually genius flatmates delivers a classic episode this week as Sheldon develops a scientific procedure for making friends.

The world is his oyster and all around are pearls of friendship.

Now, who to befriend first, and who is good enough for Sheldon?

Doctor Who BBC3, 7pm After all the excitement of the Easter Doctor Who episode here is a classic to cool your cravings.

The Doctor and Rose travel back to 1879 to the Scottish Highlands and meet Queen Victoria, along with a less than timorous beastie – in a fact a rather big and hairy beastie. Best bit is Rose trying to get Queenie to not be amused.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Lifegivers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MyWish 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Something Special - Out And About 7.20 Mister Maker 7.40 Carrie And David’s Popshop 8.00 Arthur 8.15 Frankenstein’s Cat 8.25 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.45 The Secret Show 9.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.27 The Owl 9.30 Best Of Friends 10.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 11.00 Dangermouse 11.20 FILM: Herbie Goes To Monte Carlo (1977) 1.00pm Castle In The Country 1.30 Car Booty 2.15 Heir Hunters 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 A Question Of Genius 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan.

7.00 The Department Store Series in which filmmaker Richard Macer visits the independent department stores that are fighting back against the big brands.

8.00 The Speaker The twenty teenagers who impressed the judges at the regional auditions have their communication skills tested to the limit, but only eight will make it through to the next round of the contest.

9.00 Horse People With Alexandra Tolstoy Alexandra Tolstoy journeys to the area around Jerez in Andalucia, where she discovers a world behind the tourist image of Spain.

10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Joining Jools for the second show will be Doves, Marianne Faithfull, Rokia Traore and Madeline Peyroux.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series. When a buy-bust goes bad, the police intensify their pursuit of Savino, Wee-Bey and Little Man. 12.15am High Altitude 12.45 The Super League Show 1.15 BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: Maths 2

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Taste The Nation

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Will And Grace 9.55 Brothers And Sisters 10.50 Without A Trace 11.45 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 In Your Dreams 12.45 Back To You 1.10 FILM: Young At Heart (1954) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.05am Children’s television 9.05 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 10.15 Monkey Life 10.45 Monkey Life 11.15 Extraordinary Animals 11.45 World’s Strongest Man 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Unexpected Journey (2004) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.30 LIVE ATP Tennis 12.00pm LIVE ATP Tennis 5.30 Athletics 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 Athletics 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30am Football Asia 1.00 Elite League Speedway 3.00 Big League Weekend 4.30 Revista De La Liga 5.30 Football Asia

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Leyla is enraged when David accuses her of being after his money. How to have ladies love you – not.

7.30 UEFA Champions League: Chelsea V Liverpool Steve Rider presents live coverage of the quarterfinal, second-leg match from Stamford Bridge. The two clubs have met in the semi-final of this competition in three of the last four seasons. Liverpool won the first two, but Chelsea gained revenge last season, winning 4-3 on aggregate after extra time. With commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Jim Beglin, studio analysis from Andy Townsend, and pitch side reports from Gabriel Clarke.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League Highlights Craig Doyle presents highlights of both this evening’s Champions League quarter-final, second-leg games. Shout at the screen until the neighbours bang on the wall.

11.35 Clough Documentary looking at the life and legacy of Brian Clough, following his career from Derby to Leeds and Nottingham Forest.

12.45am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Mystery 1.40 Supernatural 2.25 Loose Women 3.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show .05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Frankie tells Nancy that her love triangle with Kris and Ravi is unsustainable. Aren’t triangles supposed to be the strongest structure in engineering? That’s not what she meant is it.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix Expert stylist Gok Wan comes the aid of care-worker Dawn, who is unhappy with her wardrobe.

9.00 The Hospital Three-part doc examining the relationship between British teenagers and the NHS. The cost of treating Britain’s increasingly obese teens is rising, with younger and younger patients being referred for help in tackling their weight.

10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama. Ian is angry with Liam when he discovers that he has been skipping school.

11.05 The Big Bang Theory See highlights.

11.35 My Name Is Earl Earl struggles to re-adjust to life on the outside and decides that his good deeds are not getting him anywhere.

12.05am Party Poker: Premier League Poker 1.05 4Sport: Destination 2012 2.00 Gillette World Sport 2.30 KOTV Classics 3.25 Vendee Globe 3.55 Full Metal Challenge 4.55 Time Team

6.00 Home And Away Kirsty confronts Trey over his accusations.

6.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland.

8.00 Was Dr Crippen Innocent?: Revealed Historical documentary examining one of the 20th century’s most notorious killers. In 1910, Dr Hawley Harvey Crippen was hanged for poisoning and dismembering his wife. However, doubts surrounding the case have prompted modern-day forensic scientists to question Dr Crippen’s guilt.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation See highlights.

10.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series based on the work of forensic investigators. The CSIs investigate the murder of three gun runners who were vaporized by an illegal weapon.

11.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. The CSIs are faced with a series of complicated investigations when murder victims are found in three New York City boroughs.

12.00am The Shield 1.00 NBA Basketball 3.30 FIFA Club World Cup Final 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Shirley fears that Phil is back on the pop.

8.00 Holby City Michael and Ric struggle to persuade Annalese to fight for her career following a patient’s death. And Elliot puts his job on the line for the sake of his dog, Samson. You knew it would happen one day. That pooch was always going to be the downfall of him.

9.00 All The Small Things Drama.

New choir members Sofija and Nemanja rub Gilbert and Ethel Tonks up the wrong way, and find they’ve made formidable enemies. Recently arrived from Serbia, Sofija is anxious just to fit in, but Nemanja refuses to be bullied. Quite right too.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Planners Are Coming Series looking at building planning processes.

11.05 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross Film news, reviews and interviews.

11.35 Damages Acclaimed American legal drama.

12.15am FILM: Puppet On A Chain (1970) 1.50 Weatherview 1.55 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.25 Beyond Boundaries: Where Are They Now? 3.25 The Hottest Place On Earth 4.25 BBC News

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE: Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Super League 11.00 Poker 1.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Super League 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Revista De La Liga 6.00 Adrenaline Adventures 6.30 360 Series 7.00 Athletics 7.30 Football Asia 8.00 ARCH Cricket Trophy 2009 9.00 Adrenaline Adventures 9.30 360 Series 10.00 Poker 11.30 NFL: Total Access 12.30am Tennis: ATP Masters 3.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Close 8.30 Mobil 1 – The Grid 9.00 High Five 9.30 Adrenaline Adventures 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Mobil 1: The Grid 12.30 H2O Sports International 1.00 Max Power 2.00 Adrenaline Adventures 2.30 Mobil 1: The Grid 3.00 Poker 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Sports Unlimited 8.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 9.00 Airsports World 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 ARCH Cricket Trophy 2009 12.00am Pool: World Cup Of Pool 1.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 2.00 Athletics 2.30 360 Series 3.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 2.00 Bones 3.00 Gladiators: Battle Of The Athletes 4.00 The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Deadly Waters 11.30 Lost 12.30am Road Wars 1.30 Ross Kemp On Gangs

7.00pm Doctor Who. See highlights. 7.45 The Real Hustle 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Two Pints: Fags, Lads And Kebabs 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Horne And Corden 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Two Pints: Fags, Lads And Kebabs 12.45am Horne And Corden 1.15 Don’t Tell The Bride

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Coal House At War 8.00 All Our Working Lives 9.00 Early Doors 9.30 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 10.00 Mad Men 10.45 Law And Order 12.10am West End Jungle 1.05 1959: A Panorama Guide 2.05 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 2.35 All Our Working Lives 3.35 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars

3.45pm Loose Women 4.45 The Ricki Lake Show 5.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.10 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 Superhuman 9.00 Coleen’s Real Women 10.00 FILM: The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) 12.05am FILM: Gone In 60 Seconds (2000)

12.25pm Heartbeat 1.25 Ballykissangel 2.35 FILM: The Triumph (2006) 4.30 Surgical Spirit 5.05 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Taggart 10.40 Brides In The Bath 12.45am The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 1.45 Cadfael

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.35 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years (x2) 11.00 Shameless 12.05am Scrubs (x2)

3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Deliver Us From Evil 12.00am Come Dine With Me

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare 2.30 Passport Patrol 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 New Living With The Dead 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Seven Of One: I’ll Fly You For A Quid 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Steptoe And Son 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 10.45 Only Fools And Horses 11.55 The Royle Family 12.35am Sorry!

1.15 The Two Ronnies

2.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am Scrubs 1.10 South Park

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Storm Chasers 9.00 The Tornado Hunters 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

1.00pm Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Not My Life (2006) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: The Curse Of King Tut’s Tomb (2006) 9.40 FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 11.30 FILM: The Ferryman (2007) 1.30am Ghost Stories

9.50am Paint Your Wagon (1969) 12.30pm Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 2.30 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 5.00 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 6.50 McLintock!

(1963) 9.00 Paint Your Wagon (1969) 11.40 In The Heat Of The Night (1967) 1.35am Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969)

9.00am The Singer (2006) 10.55 Southland Tales (2006) 1.35pm The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 4.00 Black Snake Moan (2006) 6.00 The Singer (2006) 7.55 Jindabyne (2006) 10.00 Quadrophenia (1979) 12.05am Breaking The Waves (1996) 2.50 The Movie Geek

1.00pm The Black Tent (1956) 2.50 Human Desire (1954) 4.40 Jungle Book (1942) 6.45 Corrina, Corrina (1994) 9.00 The Shawshank Redemption (1994) Highly acclaimed prison drama based on a Stehen King story starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman.

11.45 The Innocents (1961) 1.40am Live Flesh (1997)

9.00am Spencer’s Mountain (1963) 11.15 Executive Action (1973) 1.00pm Hooper (1978) 3.00 A Star Is Born (1954) 6.20 A Majority Of One (1961) 9.00 Without Limits (1998) 11.15 The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing (1973) 1.30am Without Limits (1998) 3.35 Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) k

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Page 1

wednesday 15 Hell’s Kitchen ITV1, 9pm It’s back! With celebrities finding out how hot it really is in a professional kitchen they battle to see if they can match Al Murray’s past fish pie or any of the other previous triumphs.

Barking and getting frustrated at the gang is Marco Pierre White, who also gets the chance to fire the celebs that don’t cut it.

Desperate Housewives Channel 4, 10pm You remember how embarrassing it was when Bree invested in Lynette’s restaurant? How beneficial it was to their relationship? Yeah, it was great, which is obviously why Gaby is trying to convince Carlos to hire her best friend – you guessed – Lynette. Meanwhile, Edie is making more trouble for Dave.

Gossip Girl ITV2, 9pm The annual Snowflake Ball is approaching, and we all know Manhattan-ites can’t survive without attendance to all flash outings in the vicinity. Chuck and Blaire bet they can find each other the perfect date and Serena gets a bit shaky when another girl goes after Dan. Make up your mind, love! Lovely outfits.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Lifegivers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Paradise Cafe 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MyWish 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Something Special - Out And About 7.20 Mister Maker 7.40 Carrie And David’s Popshop 8.00 Arthur 8.15 Frankenstein’s Cat 8.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.45 The Secret Show 9.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.27 The Owl 9.30 Best Of Friends 10.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 11.00 Dangermouse 11.20 FILM: The Cat From Outer Space (1978) 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Car Booty 2.15 Heir Hunters 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 A Question Of Genius 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan.

7.00 Escape To The Country Jules Hudson is in Wales helping a couple with a £750,000 budget to find the perfect country farmhouse in Powys.

8.00 The Speaker The search for Britain’s best young speaker continues with only eight left in the contest. The challenge is set at Althorp House where under the watchful eye of the current Earl the youngsters become tour guides.

9.00 Alan Whicker’s Journey Of A Lifetime Alan Whicker completes the final leg of his journey by returning to Hong Kong, the hub of his many Far Eastern adventures, five decades after his first trip.

10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Companion discussion show to the Apprentice with Adrian Chiles. Watch the loser squirm as he/she tries to explain why they behaved like such a div. Was the sun in their eye?

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series. With the tapped pay phones out of service, McNulty and Daniels try to keep up by wiring Barksdale’s back office at the club.

12.15am Mad Men 1.05 BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: Maths 3

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Taste The Nation

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Will And Grace 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.50 Without A Trace 11.45 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Grudge Match 12.50 Back To You 1.20 FILM: Donovan’s Reef (1963) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.05am Children’s television 9.05 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 10.15 Monkey Life 10.45 Monkey Life 11.15 Extraordinary Animals 11.45 World’s Strongest Man 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Columbo: Butterfly In Shades Of Grey (1993) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Pollard is stunned when David runs against him in the local election. No one opposes Pollard! Bless.

7.30 Coronation Street Will Audrey expose Ken’s affair? Bless Stephanie Beecham for chucking him off the boat. Should’ve gone in t’water.

8.00 The Bill Nate is continuing in his role as Safer Schools Officer when he hears about a burglary at pupil Rhys Tanner’s home. Nate meets Rhys’s fellow pupils Adam and Lucy Ogden, and discovers that they may be linked to the break-in - but for unexpected reasons.

9.00 Hell’s Kitchen See highlights.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Maverick (1994) Starring Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, James Garner. Comedy western based on the TV series of the same name. Gambler Bret Maverick is trying to raise the necessary stake to enter a championship poker game. He is joined by a wily adventuress who is also headed for the championship, but the pair must overcome a series of obstacles before they get to the game’s riverboat venue.

12.50am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 1.40 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Hannah is home from hospital and arranges to meet Ash. Who will she believe?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Embarrassing Bodies Series destigmatising common medical complaints with Christian Jessen and Pixie McKenna. This episode focuses on the pelvic floor. One in three women in the UK suffer some level of leakage due to weak pelvic floor muscles. Three women test the latest in pelvic toners and reveal the results.

Plus the usual extreme and unusual conditions. Blimey!

9.00 Grand Designs Kevin McCloud revisits Cheryl Robson and Alex Reay, who left the London rat race and lovingly restored a medieval thatched cottage in the New Forest into their dream home. Not made of gingerbread.

10.00 Desperate Housewives See highlights.

11.00 Shameless Repeat of Tuesday’s show.

12.05am 4 Music: 4Music Favourites 12.40 4Play: Operahouse 12.50 The Shockwaves Album Chart Show 1.15 Would You Save A Stranger? 2.15 Unreported World 2.40 3 Minute Wonder 2.45 Hill Street Blues 3.35 The Middle Ages 4.00 Time Team 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Cubeez 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Belle uses the necklace Aden gave her as collateral for drugs. That’s what he meant it for, sure.

6.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Michaela’s Zoo Babies At South Lakes Wild Animal Park in Cumbria, Ntombi the white rhino is pregnant. No one even think about the idea of giving birth to something with a horn. Too late.

8.00 Oil Riggers Life on the oil rigs of Texas. New boss Justin is put through a baptism of fire when the Big Dog platform runs into problems.

9.00 Extraordinary People: Britain’s Tiniest Toddlers Series of docs exploring remarkable stories of human experience. Cameras follow three primordial dwarves as they make their way in life.

10.00 The Girl In The Box Doc revealing the disturbing true story of a bizarre kidnapping case that took place in America in the late 1970s.

11.05 Police Interceptors: Special Edition Special edition of the series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex.

12.05am PartyPoker.com Poker Den: Big Game III 1.35 A1 Grand Prix 2.25 Race And Rally UK 3.25 NHL Ice Hockey (x2) 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 LIVE ATP Tennis 12.00pm LIVE ATP Tennis 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Hatton V Pacquiao 24/7 8.30 Total Rugby 9.00 ATP Tennis 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Hatton V Pacquiao 24/7 12.00am Poker 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 Hatton V Pacquiao 24/7 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 Hatton V Pacquiao 24/7 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Animal 24:7 Series following the people fighting to protect Britain’s wildlife and pets.

8.00 Waterloo Road Drama series.

Tom’s controversial move to bring the army into school proves disastrous when an angry pupil spots their chance for revenge. A hotbed of hormones and horrors and you bring trained aggression into the mix? Blimmin’ ‘eck!

9.00 The Apprentice Reality series.

Sir Alan Sugar challenges the teams to set up their own cosmetics business. They have just a few days to make and sell two new bath and beauty products. If nothing else is going for them, you can be sure this lot wasn’t tested on animals.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Jamelia is live from Lottery HQ. 10.45 FILM: The Stepford Wives (2004) Starring Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler, Matthew Broderick. Modern film adaptation of the 70s drama.

12.10am FILM: Eye Of The Beholder (1999) 1.50 Weatherview 1.55 Sign Zone: Jimmy Doherty In Darwin’s Garden 2.55 Grow Your Own Drugs 3.25 Oz And James Drink To Britain 3.55 MasterChef 4.25 MasterChef 4.55 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 ARCH Cricket Trophy 2009 9.00 High Five 9.30 Revista De La Liga 10.30 Big League Weekend 12.00pm Football Asia 12.30 Elite League Speedway 2.30 Big League Weekend 4.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 4.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 5.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 5.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Hatton V Pacquiao 24/7 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.30 Hatton V Pacquiao 24/7 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 Tennis: ATP Masters 2.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Athletics 7.30 Elite League Speedway 9.30 Poker 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm ARCH Cricket Trophy 2009 1.00 Poker 2.30 Athletics 3.00 ARCH Cricket Trophy 2009 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Max Power 12.00am Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 FILM: Me, Myself And Irene (2000) 11.15 Fringe 12.25am Road Wars 1.25 Ross Kemp On Gangs

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 The Real Hustle 8.00 FILM: Catch Me If You Can (2002) 10.15 Horne And Corden 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 18 Pregnant Schoolgirls 12.30am Natalie Cassidy’s Real Britain 1.30 Horne And Corden 2.00 18 Pregnant Schoolgirls 2.55 Natalie Cassidy’s Real Britain 3.55 Freaky Eaters

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast 8.00 Victorian Farm 9.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture 10.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast 10.30 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 11.00 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 11.30 Pop Britannia 12.30am Pop On Trial

4.45pm Ricki Lake Show 5.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.10 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 Extreme Slimmers 9.00 Gossip Girl. See highlights. 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.30 Katie Price: Life Stories Uncut 12.00am Coronation Street 12.30 FILM: Scary Movie (2000)

12.35pm Heartbeat 1.40 Ballykissangel 2.45 FILM: The Wedding (1997) 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Hillsborough 11.10 Numb3rs 12.10am FILM: And She Was (2007) 1.45 Cadfael 3.05 Surgical Spirit (x2)

1.45pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 11.00 The Inbetweeners 11.35 8 Out Of 10 Cats 12.05am Scrubs

2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Time Team Special 10.00 City Of Vice 11.10 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 12.10am Time Team Special

11.00 am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare 2.30 Passport Patrol 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI (x3) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Blood Ties

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.20pm Last Of The Summer Wine 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Porridge 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Steptoe And Son 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 10.50 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.30 Harry Enfield And Chums 12.10am The Royle Family

4.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 The Office: An American Workplace 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am Two And A Half Men (x2)

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 9.00 Crime Museum UK (x2) 10.00 Serial Killers 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

1.00pm Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Bone Eater (2007) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: The Curse Of King Tut’s Tomb (2006) 9.40 FILM: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) 11.40 FILM: The Order (2001) 1.30am Ghost Stories

7.50am Sweet Charity (1969) 10.15 Custer Of The West (1968) 12.40pm Emperor Of The North (1973) 2.45 Charade (1963) 4.45 Lover Come Back (1961) 6.35 Sweet Charity (1969) 9.00 Emperor Of The North (1973) 11.05 Custer Of The West (1968) 1.30am The Far Country (1955)

9.00am The Apostle (1997) 11.20 The Serpent (2006) 1.25pm The Last King Of Scotland (2006) 3.30 Days Of Glory (2005) 5.40 The Diving Bell And The Butterfly (2007) 7.40 The Apostle (1997) 10.00 The Last King Of Scotland (2006) 12.05am Happiness (1999) 2.40 Days Of Glory (2005)

1.00pm The Miracle Woman (1931) 2.50 The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934) 4.40 Great Expectations (1946) 7.00 Just My Luck (2006) 9.00 Little Children (2006) 11.40 Final Destination 3 (2006) An oxymoron of a title, this is a fun teen horror about fate. 1.30am Bright Young Things (2003)

7.05am Spencer’s Mountain (1963) 9.00 Young Man With A Horn (1950) 11.00 The Naked Runner (1967) 1.00pm The Jazz Singer (1953) 3.00 The Madwoman Of Chaillot (1969) 5.50 Grand Prix (1966) 9.00 The Mackintosh Man (1973) 11.00 Inside Daisy Clover (1965) 1.25am The Mackintosh Man (1973)

Classics

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4/8/09

5:54 PM

Page 1

thursday 16 The Mentalist Five, 9pm You know how everyone in the Big Brother house gets told when they’re aggressive, defensive and barmy just from the smallest twitch of their actions? That’s what this fella does. Only he does it for the police in a drama series.

Nice work, eh? This week a wealthy businessman dies and no one can find the dosh.

The Narnia Code BBC1, 10.35pm Dan Brown eat your heart out.

Apparently, some people believe that CS Lewis’ Narnia Chronicles contain a hidden meaning, not just lovely tales of a lion and his human pals. Dr Michael Ward, academic and Lewis expert extraordinaire reckons he’s cracked the code. Crikey! Time for a bit of dramatisation.

Katie & Peter: Stateside ITV2, 9pm The saga continues! Katie and Peter have upped sticks and moved their entire family across the pond in an attempt to conquer Stateside. Good luck to them, we say! But first, the London Marathon and travelling with 22 suitcases to a new home in Malibu. Does Katie love pink more than a Malibu Barbie0?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Lifegivers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 4.35 Horrible Histories 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Max is stunned when Tanya tells him to move on and Nick lurks in the Square. He’s made a career out of lurking has Nick.

8.00 My Family Sitcom about a dentist and his family. Susan asks Ben to help an old girlfriend of hers through a divorce, but nearly precipitates her own. Needy female cliché alert.

8.30 DIY SOS Home renovation programme.

9.00 Traffic Cops Documentary series. Traffic cops in South Wales are on the hunt for people with something to hide.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Narnia Code See highlights.

11.35 FILM: White Oleander (2002) Starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Renée Zellweger, Alison Lohman, Robin Wright Penn, Billy Connolly, Marc Donato and Cole Hauser. Powerfully acted drama, based on Janet Fitch’s bestselling novel. With her mother serving a life sentence for murdering her boyfriend, a teenage girl enters the foster care system.

1.20am Holiday Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.55 Watchdog 2.25 Countryfile 3.20 MasterChef 3.50 MasterChef 4.50 BBC News

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Something Special – Out And About 7.20 Mister Maker 7.40 Carrie And David’s Popshop 8.00 Arthur 8.15 Frankenstein’s Cat 8.25 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.45 The Secret Show 9.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.27 The Owl 9.30 Best Of Friends 10.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 11.00 Dangermouse 11.20 FILM: Son Of Flubber (1963) 1.00pm Castle In The Country 1.30 Car Booty 2.15 Heir Hunters 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 A Question Of Genius 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan.

7.00 The Apprentice Reality series.

A chance to catch this week’s episode again.

8.00 Coast The Coast team journey around the breathtaking shoreline of East Anglia.

9.00 Professor Regan’s... Professor Regan takes on the multi-million pound diet industry. Over a third of us are overweight and we spend 11 billion pounds a year trying to get thin. Using herself as a guinea pig she’ll discover what to eat to lose 10lbs a year, find a diet pill that actually works and investigate if we should all be taking vitamins.

10.00 The Graham Norton Show Join Graham for his usual mix of celebrity chat, jokes, stunts and audience mischief.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series. Freamon and Bunk try to trace a crucial call. Pearlman and McNulty celebrate a break in the case, as those caught up work out plea bargains and D’Angelo envisions a life outside the drug culture.

12.25am The Apprentice: You’re Fired 1.05 BBC News 4.00 GCSE Bitesize (x2)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Taste The Nation

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Will And Grace 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.50 Without A Trace 11.45 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: The Filmmakers Of Kabul 12.35 In Your Dreams 12.50 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.50 FILM: Sword Of Sherwood Forest (1960) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 - 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 10.15 Monkey Life 10.45 Monkey Life 11.15 Extraordinary Animals 11.45 World’s Strongest Man 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 FILM: Mary Higgins Clark: We’ll Meet Again (2002) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 9.30 LIVE ATP Tennis 12.00pm LIVE ATP Tennis 5.30 Trans World Sport 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00am The Rugby Club 1.30 Darts: Premier League 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Adrenaline Adventures

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Tensions between Debbie and Andy come to a head when they clash at the Wyldes’ shooting party. Anyone else ever been to a shooting party?

8.00 The Bill At Deansgate School, Nate finds two parents, Jermaine Brooker and Matt Gilbert, squaring up in front of Jermaine’s son Carlton.

Nate separates them, but is called back later when there is a fight between Carlton and another pupil.

9.00 Hell’s Kitchen Claudia Winkleman introduces another evening in Hell’s Kitchen. Marco Pierre White is joined by American superstar chef Mario Batali. Marco gave him his first big break so Batali is keen to return the favour by putting the celebrities through their paces in a special cooking challenge. Place your bets on who quits first.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Cup Highlights Craig Doyle presents highlights of all of this evening’s UEFA Cup quarter final second leg games. Manchester City take on Hamburg, Dynamo Kiev play Paris Saint-Germain, Udinese Calcio face Werder Bremen and Marseille battle Shakhtar Donetsk.

12.00am FILM: Robbery (1967) 1.55 Crossing Jordan 2.45 Loose Women 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste is desperate to prove he can be a proper dad to Lucas.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home Series in which Kirstie Allsopp transforms a dilapidated country cottage in Devon. Will she be knocking through as many walls as she keeps telling everyone else to do? Go on – bash it!

9.00 Missing: Race Against Time Following three families’ desperate searches to find missing loved ones.

Three days after 81-year-old Josephine O’Hara disappeared, her daughter Pauline contacted the police. 25-year-old Adam Warren vanished on route to the job centre.

Young father Vinny Derrick went missing after a night out with friends.

10.00 Around The World In 80 Trades The Asian leg of Conor Woodman’s journey starts in Delhi, where he has an audacious plan to sell bottles of South African chilli sauce to the Indians.

11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon comes to the aid of Fiesta Sunrise in New York.

12.05am When Women Rule The World 1.05 Dubplate 1.30 Surrogate Junkies 2.30 Mesh 2.35 Hill Street Blues 3.25 Mesh 3.30 The Middle Ages 4.00 Time Team 4.50 Countdown 5.35 Inuk 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Belle comes clean to Aden about her drug use.

6.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Animal Rescue Squad Wildlife series with Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker.

8.00 I Own Britain’s Best Home 2009 Melissa Porter, Russell Harris and Michael Holmes search for Britain’s best home. Michael visits a mock Tudor cottage in Surrey and Russell is charmed by a Cotswold stone conversion. How smug are these householders?!

9.00 The Mentalist See highlights.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent American police drama series.

Goren and Eames track down a jewel thief who murdered her accomplice and discover that their arch-nemesis Nicole Wallace is involved in the case.

Everyone should have an arch-nemesis.

Gives you a place in the world.

11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series about an elite force based in New York that investigates sex crimes. A necrophiliac is the prime suspect when a comatose woman is apparently raped.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NBA Basketball 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Live European Tour Golf 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00pm Rallyzone 12.30 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 1.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 Hatton v Pacquiao 24/7 5.30 The Rugby Club 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five-OO 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 National Rugby League 3.00 Time Of Our Lives 4.00 Barclays Premier League World 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 High Five 9.30 Athletics 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All 2.00 Adrenaline Adventures 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Adrenaline Adventures 6.30 Race World 7.30 LIVE National Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 12.30am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.30 Tennis: ATP Masters 3.30 The Dogs 4.00 Race World 5.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate SG-1 1.00 Stargate SG-1 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs

7.00pm Outtakes: US Presidents 7.05 FILM: Meet The Fockers (2004) 9.00 My Life As An Animal: Pigs 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Deborah 13: Servant Of God 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am My Life As An Animal: Pigs 1.15 Deborah 13: Servant Of God 2.15 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 3.15 Don’t Tell The Bride

7.00pm World News Today 7.40 The New Avengers 8.30 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast 9.00 Dorset Days 10.00 Crooked House 10.30 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 11.00 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 11.30 Dorset Days:12.30am I’ve Never Seen Star Wars 1.00 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 1.30 Crooked House

4.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 5.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.10 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 American Idol 9.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside. See highlights.

10.00 The Justin Lee Collins Show 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am American Idol 1.00 The Justin Lee Collins Show

10.20am Kojak 11.25 Cadfael 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 FILM: The Engagement Ring (2005) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Taggart 10.35 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: May And June (x2) 12.45am Cadfael

2.35pm One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 My Name Is Earl 9.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.00 The Inbetweeners 10.35 Star Stories 11.05 Reno 911 (x2) 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 My Name Is Earl

2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 ER 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Without A Trace 12.00am ER 1.00 Brothers And Sisters

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare 2.30 Passport Patrol 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 CSI 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Criminal Minds 2.00 Extreme Makeover UK

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.20pm As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Porridge 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Steptoe And Son 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 10.50 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.30 Harry Enfield And Chums 12.10am The Royle Family 12.50 Gimme Gimme Gimme

2.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am Scrubs 1.10 South Park

3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper Special 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Serial Killers 10.00 Crime Scene Forensics 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 2.00 Star Trek 3.00 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Angel 7.00 FILM: Cyclops (2008) 9.00 Sanctuary 10.00 FILM: The Order (2001) 11.40 FILM: Godsend (2004) 2.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Medium 4.00 Angel

11.05am The Front Page (1974) 1.00pm Road To Zanzibar (1941) 2.35 The Movie Geek 3.05 Duel In The Sun (1946) 5.20 Support Your Local Sheriff!

(1969) 7.00 Shane (1953) 9.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 11.10 Too Late The Hero (1970) 1.25am The Front Page (1974)

9.00am Water (2005) 11.00 Mulholland Drive (2001) 1.30pm Bottle Rocket (1996) 3.05 Mumford (1999) 5.00 Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) 6.50 The Escapist (2001) 8.25 Bottle Rocket (1996) 10.00 Hana-Bi (1997) 11.45 The Movie Geek 12.15am Mumford (1999) 2.10 The Top 10 Show

1.00pm The Vicious Circle (1957) 2.40 Cottage To Let (1941) 4.25 The Four Feathers (1939) 6.45 Tales From Earthsea (2007) 9.00 Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan (2006) Borat tormenting Americans.

10.50 Naked (1993) 1.25am Jennifer Eight (1992)

7.15am Young Man With A Horn (1950) 9.10 Serenade (1956) 11.20 The Spy With My Face (1966) 1.00pm The Time Machine (1960) 3.00 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 4.55 Fort Worth (1951) 6.35 Hotel (1967) 9.00 Heart Of Darkness (1994) 11.00 Going Home (1971) 12.50am Heart Of Darkness (1994)

Classics

Indie

038_LS419_TV_fri

4/8/09

1:33 PM

Page 1

friday 17 NCIS Five, 9pm The Navy’s dedicated federal agency are hot on the case when the murder of a marine captain in Baghdad leads to a murky property deal back Stateside.

Plus, intel analyst Nikki Jardine appears to have quite her own agenda for visiting Iraq. This is destined for Sunday afternoons, but will do for Friday nights now.

Genius BBC2, 10pm Dave Gorman’s guest tonight is the unstoppable Johnny Vegas, as they rummage through the general public’s moments of inspiration and desperation of invention. The patent office has never before been highlighted as such a gathering of bizarre musings as the pair assess the new contraptions presented.

Top Gear BBC3, 7pm It’s the 40th birthday of the iconic Ferrari Daytona! Whoo hoo! The Hamster celebrates by taking one back to its spiritual home in the Italian Riviera and then challenging James May to a power boat race while he’s there.

That’s gonna get some spray.

Meanwhile, Jeremy checks out the BMW M3 back in the UK.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Lifegivers 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Animals At Work 4.35 Trapped 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Something Special - Out And About 7.20 Mister Maker 7.40 Carrie And David’s Popshop 8.00 Arthur 8.15 Frankenstein’s Cat 8.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.45 The Secret Show 9.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.27 The Owl 9.30 Best Of Friends 10.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 11.00 Dangermouse 11.20 FILM: Space Camp (1986) 1.00pm Castle In The Country 1.30 Car Booty 2.15 Heir Hunters 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 A Question Of Genius 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show.

6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan.

7.00 The Good Life 70s sitcom about a couple farming for selfsufficiency in the suburbs. Has the good life come to an end for Tom and Barbara? Did Godzilla attack Surbiton? Ohh... doubts, not death.

7.30 Mastermind The subjects are Scott’s last expedition, Blake’s 7, the school stories of PG Wodehouse, and the Popish Plot.

8.00 Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine.

9.00 Top Dogs: Adventures In War, Sea And Ice The third part of the series follows three iconic adventurers - newsman John Simpson, explorer Ranulph Fiennes and yachtsman Robin Knox-Johnston - as they man-haul sledges across the Canadian Arctic. Talk about pushing yourself for a telly show. Bet they don’t want to be recommissioned.

10.00 Genius See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme with Kirsty Wark.

11.35 Later With Jools Holland Extended version of Tuesday’s show.

12.40am Medium (x2) 2.05 FILM: The Beast In The Cellar (1971)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Taste The Nation

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Will And Grace 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.50 Without A Trace 11.45 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Water Stories 12.45 Back To You 1.15 FILM: Africa - Texas Style!

(1967) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 10.15 Monkey Life 10.45 Monkey Life 11.15 Extraordinary Animals 11.45 World’s Strongest Man 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Heart Of A Stranger (2002) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Victoria discloses a shocking secret to a stunned Daz. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony warns Tom off Maria. Those two are doing a strange and twisted dance.

8.00 Empty House Syndrome: Tonight As the number of empty properties looks set to top the one million mark, Tonight investigates why so many houses lie unused when there is an acute housing shortage.

8.30 Coronation Street Ken is feeling guilty and makes a special effort for Deirdre. Be suspicious, lady.

9.00 Hell’s Kitchen With Marco Pierre White at the helm, diners expect their food to be of a very high standard - but are the celebrities able to do Marco’s menu justice? Less hairspray more oil spray, we thinks.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Pushing Daisies Quirky US drama. The team investigate the case of noted window dresser Erin Embry.

Was she murdered by her partner?

11.35 FILM: Inside I’m Dancing (2004) Starring Steven Robertson, James McAvoy. Moving drama about a young man with cerebral palsy whose life is changed by the arrival of a rebellious companion at his Dublin home for the disabled.

1.20am FILM: Sweet November (2001) 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste is chuffed that Amy will be back for Lucas’s naming ceremony until Josh brings bad news.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World A report from the remote Chinese-North Korean border, on the plight of North Korean women attempting to flee persecution and starvation.

8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Welsh farmers Craig and Dylan decide between the gay hotspots of Brighton and Gran Canaria.

Pick us! Pick us!

9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon comes to the aid of Cafe 36, an upmarket Chicago bistro whose husband-andwife owners are stuck in the past.

10.00 FILM: Nacho Libre (2006) Starring Jack Black. Slapstick comedy about a Mexican monk who, fed up with the orphanage he works in, decides to fulfil his dream of becoming a Luchador wrestler in order to earn money for the kids.

11.40 The Shockwaves Album Chart Show Last in the series.

12.15am Marilyn Manson: Video Exclusive 12.20 4 Music: JD Set Presents: Everything Everything 12.40 4Play: Zarif 12.55 No Angels 1.55 PokerStars.com 2.55 Freesports On 4 3.15 3 Minute Wonder 3.20 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Making It 5.50Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away VJ reacts badly to Roman and Leah’s relationship. He’s about the right age to go off the rails isn’t he?

6.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Mobil 1 The Grid Motor sport action from the biggest racing series around the world.

8.00 Police Interceptors: Special Edition Special edition of the documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex.

9.00 NCIS See highlights.

10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama series about a maths genius recruited by the FBI to solve complex criminal cases. An arms dealer is found not guilty of murder, prompting Don to suspect the jury has been bribed. Not that he’s innocent – oh, no! The arrogance of it. He might be right though. Clever fella.

11.00 Criminal Minds Drama series following the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit as they attempt to solve crimes through psychological profiling. The team is in New Jersey to investigate a string of people who have been poisoned with ultra-strong LSD. The pink elephant dunnit.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 LIVE ATP Tennis 12.00pm LIVE ATP Tennis 5.30 Off The Bar 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Big League Weekend 1.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 1.30 Off The Bar 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Big League Weekend 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 Off The Bar

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz.

8.00 EastEnders Ronnie and Roxy are on the brink of reunion, but will Jack destroy it all?

8.30 Air Medics A look at the work of the Great North Air Ambulance. .

9.00 Real Swiss Family Robinson Chris Edwardes and Amanda Blanch have worked round the clock for the last nine years to make a success of their hotel, but since the recession they’ve hit crisis point. They head off for three weeks on an island off Tanzania, to spend much needed time as a family and to make some business decisions.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan is joined by actor and ‘sexiest man alive’, Hugh Jackman, Lady Gaga, and actor Martin Clunes.

11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: Black Knight (2001) Starring Martin Lawrence, Marsha Thomason, Tom Wilkinson. Fish-outof-water comedy.

1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Horizon: Alan And Marcus Go Forth And Multiply 2.15 Timewatch: Pyramid - The Last Secret 3.05 The Plant Addicts 4.05 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 High Five 10.30 The Rugby Club 12.00pm European Tour Golf 4.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Volvo Ocean Race 7.30 LIVE International Football 9.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 Off The Bar 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 Super League 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 Tight Lines

Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE Raw 9.00 National Rugby League 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Race World 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 LIVE International Cricket 6.00 LIVE International Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 Tennis: ATP Masters 3.00 Adrenaline Adventures 3.30 Volvo Ocean Race 4.00 International Football

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 FILM: Me, Myself And Irene (2000) 11.15 Road Wars 12.15am Night Cops 1.15 Ross Kemp On Gangs 2.10 Road Wars

7.00pm Top Gear. See highlights 8.00 Doctor Who 9.00 Little Britain (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Horne And Corden 12.45 My Life As An Animal: Pigs 1.45 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 2.45 Horne And Corden 3.15 Two Pints: Fags, Lads And Kebabs

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Jazz 625 8.05 4 Better 4 Worse: The Anatomy Of A String Quartet 9.00 The Jazz Baroness: Storyville 10.25 Jazz 625 (x2) 11.40 Mad Men 12.25am The New Avengers 1.20 The Jazz Baroness: Storyville 2.40 4 Better 4 Worse: The Anatomy Of A String Quartet 5.30 Close

3.45pm Loose Women 4.45 The Ricki Lake Show 5.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.15 Creature Comforts 6.30 Britain’s Got Talent 8.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 9.00 American Idol 10.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am The Justin Lee Collins Show 1.00 American Idol

8.10am FILM: The Engagement Ring (2005) 10.10 Kojak 11.15 Cadfael 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 FILM: Lipstick (2006) 5.10 Home To Roost 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Taggart (x2) 12.05am Cadfael 1.40 FILM: Lipstick (2006) 3.15 Surgical Spirit

1.45pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix 10.00 Celebrity Wife Swap 11.05 Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live 12.10am Scrubs (x2)

2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 FILM: Fight Club (1999) 12.45am Grand Designs (x2)

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare 2.30 Passport Patrol 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Criminal Minds

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.40pm Just Good Friends 4.20 As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Porridge 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Steptoe And Son 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Jonathan Creek 11.35 Harry Enfield And Chums 12.15am One Foot In The Grave 12.55 The Royle Family

3.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.00 The Sarah Silverman Programme 11.30 Lee Evans Live In Scotland 1.00am The Sarah Silverman Programme

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Mythbusters 9.00 Treasure Quest 10.00 The Tornado Hunters 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? (x2) 3.00 FILM: Terminal Error (2001) 4.50 Joe 90 (x2) 5.55 Stingray (x2) 6.55 Thunderbirds 8.00 FILM: The Sword Of Xanten (2004) 11.40 FILM: Kaw (2007) 1.30am Ghost Stories 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Medium

10.20amHoliday Inn (1942) 12.05pm Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 2.15 The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 4.00 The Disorderly Orderly (1964) 5.40 Holiday Inn (1942) 7.30 Park Row (1952) 9.00 Coogan’s Bluff (1968) 10.35 Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 12.45am Park Row (1952)

9.30am Rescue Dawn (2006) 11.40 Letters From Iwo Jima (2006) 2.10pm Earth (1998) 4.10 Jindabyne (2006) 6.20 For Your Consideration (2006) 7.50 Rescue Dawn (2006) 10.00 The Darjeeling Limited (2007) 11.35 Boys Don’t Cry (1999) 1.40am Mo’ Better Blues (1990)

1.00pm The Destructors (1967) 2.55 The Mark Of Zorro (1974) 4.25 The Undefeated (1969) 6.50 Bride And Prejudice (2004) 9.00 Kiss The Girls (1997) Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd are hot on the tail of a serial killer. Don’t mess. 11.15 City Of God (2002) 1.50am Storytelling (2001)

8.50am The Silver Chalice (1955) 11.20 Lost In A Harem (1944) 1.00pm Key Largo (1948) 3.00 The Great Bank Robbery (1969) 4.55 The Abdication (1974) 6.50 The Karate Killers (1967) 8.30 The Screening Room 9.00 Spawn (1997) 10.50 Rollover (1981) 1.05am Spawn (1997) 2.50 Absolute Power (1997)

Classics

Indie

039_419_TVsat

4/8/09

6:07 PM

Page 1

saturday 18 Primeval ITV1, 6.55pm The team face the terrifying giganotosaurus. They must prevent the dinosaur from wreaking havoc, while also warding off journalist Mick Harper and his media mogul boss, who may have the G-Rex’s appearance on tape. Luckily the team have unexpected assistance from Danny Quinn.

Alan Whicker’s Journey Of A Lifetime BBC2, 9.25pm Alan tracks down a Hollywood plastic surgeon and his favourite patient – his wife. When originally shown, they generated the biggest postbag of Whicker’s career, but will they still be together? Whicker re-examines his extraordinary interview with Haitian dictator Papa Doc.

The Jazz Baroness: Storyville BBC4, 11pm Documentary about the British Jewish baroness who fell in love with the jazz genius Thelonious Monk. Pannonica Rothschild was born with everything, married and had five children, but one track by a man she had never met inspired her to leave and start a new life in America.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Formula 1: The Chinese Grand Prix 8.15 Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Take On The Takeaway 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Formula 1: The Chinese Grand Prix 2.15 Rugby Union: Anglo-Welsh Final 4.30 Final Score 5.20 Outtake TV 5.50 BBC News

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.15 Eliot Kid 7.25 Three Delivery 7.50 Wolverine And The X-Men 8.15 Sportsround 8.30 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.50 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.00 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 9.30 Hotel Trubble 9.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 10.00 Dani’s House 10.30 Dani’s House 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Young Dracula 12.00pm Kyle XY 12.45 Winging It 1.15 Sound 1.45 Revealed 2.00 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross 2.30 Flog It! 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 4.30 World Snooker 5.30 Shark Therapy 6.00 Planet Earth This edition takes an epic journey following the descent of the planet’s mightiest rivers from their mountain sources to the sea.

Breathtaking river scenery is revealed by a revolutionary helicopter camera.

7.00 World Snooker World Snooker.

8.05 Dad’s Army Classic sitcom.

8.35 Timewatch – Young Victoria Timewatch tells the story of how an unassuming little girl rose to be the most powerful woman in the world.

9.25 Alan Whicker’s Journey Of A Lifetime See highlights.

10.25 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Guests include Christopher Biggins, singer Robyn, comedian Mark Watson and Sam Duckworth of Get Cape, Wear Cape, Fly. 10.55 FILM: Honeydripper (2007) Drama set in early 1950s Alabama.

Things are far from harmonious in the small segregated town of Harmony, Alabama, as ageing club owner Tyrone ‘Pine Top’ Purvis tries to save his failing night club, The Honeydripper Lounge, from being taken over by local gangsters. When big-shot guitarist Guitar Sam, specially hired to save the club’s fortunes, fails to turn up for a gig, old Pine Top finds himself with no option but to replace him with a young unknown guitarist fresh in town.

12.55am World Snooker Highlights 1.45 World Snooker Extra 3.45 Mad Men

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Quincy, ME 10.25 Countrywise 10.55 FILM: Swallows And Amazons (1974) 12.50pm ITV News And Weather 1.00 FILM: Murder, She Wrote: A Story To Die For (2000) 2.50 FILM: Innerspace (1987) 5.10 Creature Comforts 5.25 Meridian News And Weather 5.40 ITV News And Weather 5.55 Animals Do The Funniest Things

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 The Cooper Tyres British Formula 3 International Series 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 One Tree Hill 9.55 Friends 10.25 Friends 10.55 Girls Aloud Vs Sugababes: Top Ten 11.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 1.00pm Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.55 Primeval See highlights.

7.55 Britain’s Got Talent The auditions continue, with more from the best and worst talent in the country. Thousands of hopefuls of every age and background are out to win the grand prize of 100,000 pounds and a chance to strut their stuff at this year’s Royal Variety Performance. Judges Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden must sift through the wannabes and decide their fate. Ant and Dec are on hand to support the acts before and after they face the panel.

8.55 Hell’s Kitchen Culinary bad boy Marco Pierre White puts our celebrity cooks through their paces. If they do not make the grade, he can banish them from the kitchen, so the pressure is really on. Claudia Winkleman hosts.

9.55 ITV News And Weather 10.10 FA Cup Highlights Steve Rider presents highlights of the FA Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Chelsea from Wembley.

11.10 FILM: True Lies (1994) Explosive comedy thriller about a US undercover agent who draws his frustrated wife into his dangerous world in a bid to give her the excitement she craves.

1.45am Six Degrees 2.35 FILM: Head Over Heels (2001) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 Come Dine With Me Aggie MacKenzie cooks for Rowland Rivron, Linda Robson, Anneka Rice and Toby Young. Aggie opts for an ambitious eight-dish Middle Eastern feast.

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Henry VIII: Mind Of A Tyrant Dr David Starkey presents a four-part biography on the mind of Henry VIII, a pivotal figure in British history. A look at the battles Henry fought during his early years on the throne and his determination to emulate his father.

8.00 Time Team Archaeological series. The team visit Penny Rainbow’s Surrey home that is all that remains of a palace that was so grand it inspired the design of Hampton Court.

9.00 The Unsinkable Titanic Drama-documentary which argues that a complicated sequence of events – rather than just an iceberg – sealed the fate of the Titanic in 1912.

10.35 FILM: Behind Enemy Lines (2001) See film highlights.

12.35am FILM: Memento (2000) 2.40 Journey Through The Night 2.50 The Middle Ages 3.20 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Making It 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00am Kid’s TV 8.00 Olivia 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Animal Families 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 The Milkshake!

Show 10.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.30 Mean Machines 11.00 The Gadget Show 12.00pm Extreme Fishing With Robson Green 1.00 Oil Riggers 2.00 FILM: Carry On Admiral (1957) 3.35 FILM: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001) 5.30 Five News 5.40 FILM: Jackie Chan’s Who Am I? (1998) 7.35 NCIS A routine murder investigation soon becomes personal when Abby is nearly killed, making it clear that someone staged the initial crime in order to lure her into a trap.

8.35 NCIS When a suspect dies in custody, Ziva is criticised for her tactics, which may have been indirectly responsible. But things develop apace when the suspect’s brother, unaware of his sibling’s death, kidnaps Jenny and demands that he is released.

9.35 CSI: NY A charity event is interrupted when the body of the Deputy Mayor falls from the ceiling.

Elsewhere, Deputy Inspector Gillian Whitford is forced to cope with the ‘blue-flu’ sweeping the city.

10.35 Law And Order. A series of patients die from the flu after being given a fake vaccine. Detectives trace the counterfeit medicine to an unscrupulous con man who attempts to beat the charges against him by exploiting a technicality.

11.35 Crime Scene Academy When a crime has been committed and blood has been spilt, an investigator can tell a lot about what happened from the size, shape and location of the blood stains. This part of the course involves a week’s training in blood spatter analysis.

12.05am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 House Doctor x2

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Off The Bar 7.00 Big League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Football League: League Two 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.00 LIVE Super League 7.55 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.25 Football First: Match Choice 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 3.15 Spanish Football 4.45 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.15 Volvo Ocean Race 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.05 South East Today 6.10 Robin Hood Drama retelling the classic legend. Ruthless Rufus is in town, intent on revenge. When he kidnaps Allan and Kate, Robin retaliates by snatching his son. Robin and the gang face a race against time as they try to find Rufus’ hiding place.

Will they succeed, or is this the end of the road for Allan and Kate?

6.55 Tonight’s The Night With John Barrowman 7.55 The National Lottery: 1 Vs 100 Quiz show in which one hopeful contestant takes on 100 opponents in a bid to win a big cash prize. Plus Thunderball, Dream Number and Lotto Draws.

8.45 Casualty Jordan plans to sacrifice Adam to save himself.

9.35 Live At The Apollo Cuttingedge stand-up comedy.

10.20 BBC News 10.40 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents the action from the day’s Premier League fixtures.

11.40 FILM: Lord Of War (2005) Satirical action thriller set in the world of black market arms dealing, following a gunrunner from humble beginnings in Little Odessa to a millionaire lifestyle supplying weapons to global trouble spots.

1.35am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.35 Weatherview 2.40 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 High Five 10.30 Super League 12.30pm LIVE ATP Tennis 4.30 Volvo Ocean Race 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Super League 1.00am Gillette World Sport 1.30 LIVE NASCAR 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Airsports World

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Friday Fight Night 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 Max Power 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Max Power 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 10.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 The Super 14 Show 3.30 Golf Night 5.30 360 Series

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Soccer AM 12.00pm Oops TV (x2) 1.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 2.00 Bones 3.00 Project Runway 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Gladiators: Battle Of The Athletes 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 24 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Street Wars

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid?(x2) 8.00 Top Gear 9.05 Family Guy: The Story So Far... 9.35 Family Guy (x2) 10.40 Family Guy: The Story So Far... 11.10 Family Guy (x4) 12.40am Family Guy: The Story So Far...

1.10 Family Guy (x2) 1.50 Family Guy: The Story So Far... 2.20 My Life As An Animal: Pigs

7.00pm Jim Clark: The Quiet Champion 8.00 Legends: The Charlie Parker Story 9.00 FILM: Let’s Get Lost (1989) 11.00 The Jazz Baroness: Storyville 12.25am Imagine... Saint John Coltrane 1.10 Jim Clark: The Quiet Champion 2.10 The Jazz Baroness: Storyville 3.35 Legends: The Charlie Parker Story

2.25pm Britain’s Got More Talent 3.25 American Idol (x2) 5.25 FILM: Peter Pan (2003) 7.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.55 Homes From Hell 8.55 Britain’s Got More Talent 9.55 The Justin Lee Collins Show 10.55 FILM: Scary Movie (2000) 12.40am Britain’s Got Talent 1.40 Britain’s Got More Talent

10.30am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.40 FILM: Some Like It Hot (1959) 2.15pm Goodbye Mr Chips 4.30 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 5.45 Wycliffe 6.50 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 8.00 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 Taggart 11.35 Cracker 12.45am Wycliffe 1.40 Upstairs, Downstairs (x2) 3.30 Surgical Spirit Ÿ

10.55am Dark Angel (x2) 12.45pm Roswell (x2) 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl 7.30 The Big Bang Theory 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 11.00 Bring Back Star Wars 12.40am Scrubs (x2) 1.35 Dark Angel

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x5) 2.30pm FILM: The Comancheros (1961) 4.35 Grand Designs 5.40 Grand Designs Revisited 6.45 Grand Designs (x3) 10.00 UFOs: The Secret Evidence 12.10am The West Wing 1.10 UFOs: The Secret Evidence 3.10 Grand Designs 4.10 Close

11.00am Will And Grace (x2) 12.00pm Charmed 1.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 2.00 America’s Next Top Model 3.00 Will And Grace 3.30 Will And Grace 4.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 8.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI 12.00am Ghost Hunters 1.00 Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

8.20am Steptoe And Son 9.00 One Foot In The Grave (x3) 11.00 Steptoe And Son (x3) 1.00pm One Foot In The Grave (x3) 3.00 Steptoe And Son (x3) 5.00 One Foot In The Grave (x2) 7.00 Steptoe And Son (x3) 9.00 Jonathan Creek (x2) 12.15am The Two Ronnies 1.15 Charlie’s Angels (x2) 3.00 Home Shopping

2.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Lee Evans: Wired And Wonderful 12.15am Chris Rock: Never Scared

2.00pm Egypt’s Top Ten Mysteries 3.00 Crime Scene Australia 4.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 5.00 Nextworld 6.00 Against The Elements 7.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls (x2) 9.00 Undercover: Double Life 10.00 Megaheist 11.00 Crime Scene Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 Crime Museum UK

11.00am Sanctuary 12.00pm Joe 90 (x2) 1.05 Stingray (x2)2.10 Thunderbirds 3.20 FILM: The Sword Of Xanten Pt 1 (2004) 5.10 FILM: The Sword Of Xanten Pt2 (2004) 7.00 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 9.00 FILM: Cyclops (2008) 10.50 FILM: The Last Winter (2006) 12.50am FILM: Godsend (2004) 3.10 Joe 90

9.50am True Grit (1969) 12.00pm Seven Thieves (1960) 1.45 Fourteen Hours (1951) 3.20 The House On 92nd Street (1945) 4.50 Call Northside 777 (1948) 6.45 True Grit (1969) 9.00 Kiss Of Death (1947) 10.40 Fourteen Hours (1951) 12.20am Seven Thieves (1960) 2.10 Kiss Of Death (1947)

12.30pm Tube Tales (1999) 2.00 A Fish Called Wanda (1988) 3.50 Tell No One (2006) 6.05 Movie Geek 6.35 The Counterfeiters (2007) 8.15 December Boys (2007) 10.00 Eastern Promises (2007) 11.45 Requiem For A Dream (2000) 1.30am Fear And Loathing In Vegas (1998)

1.00pm Project X (1987) 3.05 Shockproof (1949) 4.45 Lassie (2005) 6.50 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 The Notebook (2004) 11.25 The Host (2006) 1.45am Funny Ha Ha (2002) 3.35 Movie Rush 3.50 Close

11.10am The Charge At Feather River (1953) 1.00pm None But The Brave (1965) 3.00 I Died A Thousand Times (1955) 5.05 The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) 7.10 Four Eyes And Six Guns (1992) 9.00 The Bounty (1984) 11.35 The Screening Room 12.15am The Terminal Man (1974)

Classics

Indie

040_LS419_TVsun

4/9/09

11:11 AM

Page 1

sunday 19 Top Gear BBC2, 8pm Jeremy, Richard and James travel to the US to take three new generation muscle cars on an epic road trip from San Francisco to the heart of Utah. And after the excitement of their last American road trip, this time they do their best to avoid letting a mob of angry locals pelt them with rocks.

Classic boys with toys.

The Secret Millionaire Channel 4, 9pm Series in which a millionaire goes undercover in a deprived area in the hope of changing someone’s life with a generous gift of their own money. Rob Lloyd is a millionaire property developer with a luxurious rural lifestyle. He goes undercover in Belfast, a city scarred from three decades of war and still struggling.

All About Abigail’s Party BBC4, 11.50pm To celebrate its 30th anniversary, a documentary which tells the story of how one of our best-loved plays came into being and explores its enduring appeal.

With interviews with writer Mike Leigh and the cast including Alison Steadman, Janine Duvitski, John Salthouse and Tim Stern. Fascinating stuff.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.00 Formula 1: The Chinese Grand Prix 10.00 The Andrew Marr Show 11.00 The Big Questions 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 Country Tracks 1.05 Formula 1: The Chinese Grand Prix 3.05 EastEnders 5.00 Lifeline 5.10 Points Of View 5.25 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 ChuckleVision 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Three Delivery 7.55 The Owl 8.00 Escape From Scorpion Island 9.00 Match Of The Day 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Escape To The Country 2.00 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 2.30 World Snooker 5.30 Orangutan Diary

6.00am GMTV 9.25 FA Cup Highlights 10.25 The Championship 11.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 2.10pm ITV News And Weather 2.15 Britain’s Got Talent 3.15 FA Cup Live Semi-final: Manchester United V Everton

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 The Highlander Challenge World Championship 7.55 Freesports On 4 8.25 Freesports On 4 8.55 Friends 9.25 Shockwaves Album Chart Show: Lady Gaga Special 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 1.35 Friends 2.05 The Big Bang Theory 2.40 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.40 The Simpsons 4.10 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Supernanny US

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.45 Hana’s Helpline 7.55 Olivia 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Animal Families 8.40 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 The Milkshake!

Show 10.00 Everybody Hates Chris 10.30 Everybody Hates Chris 11.00 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 11.30 World’s Strongest Man 12.30pm FILM: The Wackiest Ship In The Army (1960) 2.25 FILM: Ladybugs (1992) 4.05 FILM: Cocoon: The Return (1988)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Football Special 3.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 6.00 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Premiership Rugby Union 12.30am Spanish Football 2.30 Ford Football Special 4.00 Spanish Football

6.05 Last Of The Summer Wine Summer Wine.

6.35 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile Countryfile.

8.00 My Family Domestic sitcom about long-suffering dentist Ben Harper and his family.

9.00 The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency Drama based on Alexander McCall Smith’s novels. The No.1 Ladies are the latest victims of the Kgale Hill Break-ins and Mma Ramotswe and JLB Matekoni’s engagement is not going as smoothly as expected. Note Mokoti’s return, fake diamonds and Cephas Buthelezei’s ruthless attempt at blackmail, forces Mma Ramotswe to face her demons before she can move on.

10.00 BBC News 10.20 Damages Acclaimed American legal drama. Patty refuses to settle out of court. Maddox suspects Kendrick of illegal insider dealing that might harm the company.

11.05 FILM: Nine To Five (1980) See film highlights.

12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: The Planners Are Coming 1.20 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.20 Sign Zone: All The Small Things 3.20 Sign Zone: No Grounds For Gardening: 4.20 BBC News

6.00 Flog It! Paul Martin and experts David Barby and Michael Baggott are in Llandudno in north Wales to find more people ready to sell their antiques at auction. Paul also makes two unusual discoveries in the area a Swiss-trained chocolatier and a collector of blues guitars.

7.00 World Snooker World Snooker.

8.00 Top Gear See highlights.

9.00 Louis Theroux Louis Theroux out and about.

10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights of two Premier League fixtures, in which Tottenham host Newcastle and West Brom visit Manchester City. Harry Redknapp has given Spurs a new lease of life since arriving in October and will be expecting three points against a side he had the chance of managing last season. West Brom are in grave danger of losing their Premier League status as they host Manchester City, who have had something of a rollercoaster ride in Mark Hughes’ first season in charge.

10.50 The Graham Norton Show Uncut Join Graham for his usual mix of celebrity chat, jokes, stunts and audience mischief.

11.35 Heroes Drama series about people with superpowers.

12.20am World Snooker Highlights 1.10 World Snooker Extra 3.10 BBC News 4.20 The Super League Show

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Dispatches: The Westminster Gravy Train Freedom of Information campaigner Heather Brooke assesses the information about MPs‘ expenses that is currently available to the public, following her High Court victory in 2008.

8.00 Come Dine With Me Four competitive and diverse cooks from Birmingham attempt to outdo their guests and walk away with the 1,000 pound cash prize. The hosts include an entertainments organiser, a hairdresser and a man-about-town.

9.00 The Secret Millionaire See highlights.

10.00 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night A weekly topical entertainment show.

10.50 FILM: Dogma (1999) Starring Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Comic fantasy in which two fallen angels discover a doctrinal loophole that could potentially allow them back into Heaven. Such an event would have dire consequences for the world, since it would expose God as fallible, thereby threatening all Her work. In an attempt to save the world, God sends Jesus’ last surviving relative – and a bizarre host of companions – on a quest to prevent the angels from achieving their goal.

1.10am 4 Music: 4Play: The Hours 1.25 FILM: Town And Country (2001) 3.25 Hill Street Blues

6.15 Five News 6.20 FILM: Godzilla (1998) Effects-laden blockbuster about a huge reptile that emerges from the sea to wreak havoc in Manhattan. On a research trip to Chernobyl, a young scientist discovers a startling link between genetic mutation and radioactivity. When a fishing trawler is attacked by an unseen creature, and other evidence of a massive reptile is unearthed, he realises that the beast is following a destructive path to New York.

9.00 FILM: Rush Hour (1998) Action comedy following the attempts of a martial-arts-expert cop to retrieve the kidnapped daughter of the Chinese consul, a mission hindered by the presence of a hapless LAPD detective. Named by the consul as the only man capable of saving his little girl, the supercop finds opposition in the form of the FBI, who bring in the rogue detective to keep him away from the action.

10.55 FILM: Fist Of Fury (1972) Classic martial arts action adventure in which a kung-fu student vows to avenge the wrongful death of his master, who has been poisoned by a rival clan.

1.00am Winter X Games 1.50 Boxing 2.35 Boxing USA 3.50 Motorsport Mundial 4.15 FIM Motocross.

5.10 House Doctor x2

6.15 Meridian News And Weather 6.30 ITV News And Weather 6.45 Beat The Star Vernon Kay returns for a second series of this unpredictable gameshow in which a plucky member of the public goes head-to-head with a celebrity in a bid to win 50,000 pounds. In today’s show, a super-fit factory manager from London tackles England rugby legend Austin Healey in a series of punishing games.

8.00 Heartbeat A widow’s life is endangered by the dodgy business dealings of her late husband.

9.00 Hell’s Kitchen Marco Pierre White continues to mentor his crack team of novice celebrity chefs.

10.00 ITV News And Weather 10.15 FA Cup Highlights Matt Smith presents highlights of today’s FA Cup semi-final between Everton and Manchester United. This is Manchester United’s 26th semi-final, a record they share with Arsenal.

11.15 Crossing Jordan Woody is determined to prove that a renowned, agoraphobic artist is behind the murder of his millionaire neighbour, and Dr Macy investigates a suicide.

12.15am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.15 Nightwatch With Steve Scott.

2.05 The Cosby Mysteries.

2.55 Empty House Syndrome: 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 2.30pm LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30 Seamaster Sailing 7.00 Golf Night 9.00 Premiership Rugby Union 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am WWE Experience 1.00 ATP Tennis 3.00 Premiership Rugby Union

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Seamaster Sailing 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Seamaster Sailing 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Wild Spirits 6.30 NASCAR 9.00 LIVE Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 11.30 Golf Night 1.30am High Five 2.00 Seamaster Sailing 2.30 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

10.00am Gladiators: Battle Of The Athletes 11.00 WWE: Experience 12.00pm Futurama (x2) 1.00 Oops TV 2.00 Bones (x2) 3.55 Skellig 6.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 7.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Lost 10.00 Fringe 11.10 Night Cops 12.10am Road Wars (x3) 3.00 Street Wars

7.00pm Formula 1: The Chinese Grand Prix 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 9.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 9.30 Horne And Corden 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 My Life As An Animal: Pigs 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.15am Horne And Corden 12.45 The Real Hustle

7.00pm Cranford 8.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture 9.00 FILM: Nuts In May (1976) 10.20 Mark Lawson Talks To Mike Leigh 11.20 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 11.50 All About Abigail’s Party 12.50am Mud, Sweat And Tractors 1.50 Mark Lawson Talks To Mike Leigh

12.25pm FILM: Peter Pan (2003) 2.30 Gossip Girl 3.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.05 Coronation Street Omnibus 7.00 Primeval 8.00 Britain’s Got Talent 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 11.00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 1.45am Celebrity Juice 2.10 Teleshopping

9.40am FILM: Some Like It Hot (1959) 12.20pm Goodbye Mr Chips 2.30 Wycliffe 3.35 Poirot 5.45 FILM: Summer Holiday (1963) 8.00 Cliff Richard: 50th Anniversary Time Machine Tour 9.00 Poirot 11.05 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: A Case Of Coincidence 12.10am Goodbye Mr Chips

12.00pm Kevin Hill 12.55 Ugly Betty 1.50 Ghost Whisperer 2.50 FILM: The First Wives Club (1996) 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 7.00 One Tree Hill 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Dirty Sexy Money 12.00am Sex And The City (x2) 1.15 Ghost Whisperer 2.15 The Simple Life

2.00pm Location, Location, Location (x5) 4.45 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Jamie At Home 8.00 River Cottage Spring 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.00 A Very British Storm Junkie 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.10am Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.50 Deal Or No Deal

10.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 11.00 Will And Grace (x2) 12.00pm Charmed 1.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 2.00 Most Haunted (x4) 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 The Hoff: When Scott Came To Stay (x2) 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI 12.00am Ghost Hunters 1.00 Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.35pm One Foot In The Grave 1.15 Steptoe And Son (x3) 3.15 One Foot In The Grave (x3) 5.15 Steptoe And Son (x3) 7.15 One Foot In The Grave (x3) 9.15 Jonathan Creek 10.35 Steptoe And Son 11.15 One Foot In The Grave 11.55 Steptoe And Son 12.35am One Foot In The Grave 1.15 The Two Ronnies

9.00am Scrubs (x15) 4.30pm FILM: The Mask (1994) 6.30 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.30 Rules Of Engagement 8.00 Scrubs 8.30 The Office: An American Workplace 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 FILM: South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut (1999) 11.40 Grumpy Old Men 12.00am Two And A Half Men (x2) Ÿ

12.00pm World War II: The Complete History (x2) 2.00 Treasure Quest (x2) 4.00 Mythbusters (x2) 6.00 The Tornado Hunters 7.00 Against The Elements 8.00 Hitler’s Generals 9.00 Unsolved History 10.00 Treasure Quest 11.00 Suffolk Strangler: Serial Killers 12.00am Crime Scene Australia

11.00am Star Trek 12.00pm Ghost Stories 12.30 FILM: Tall Tale (1995) 2.30 FILM: Terminal Error (2001) 4.20 FILM: Cyclops (2008) 6.10 FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 8.00 Sanctuary 9.00 FILM: Ogre (2008) 10.50 FILM: Mimic: Sentinel (2003) 12.20am FILM: Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

10.20am Apache (1954) 11.55 Duel In The Sun (1946) 2.10pm 35mm 2.40 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 5.20 Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 7.00 Island In The Sky (1953) 9.00 Apache (1954) 10.35 Sink The Bismarck!

(1960) 12.20am Duel In The Sun (1946)

9.00am Days Of Glory (2005) 11.05 The Top 10 Show 11.20 There Will Be Blood (2007) 2.00pm Southland Tales (2006) 4.40 The General (1998) 6.50 The Movie Geek 7.20 There Will Be Blood (2007) 10.00 Happiness (1999) 12.25am Southland Tales (2006) 3.05 Summer Of Sam (1999)

1.00pm Last Holiday (2006) 3.10 Oliver Twist (1948) 5.25 The Hound Of The Baskervilles (1959) 7.10 Clueless (1995) 9.00 Planet Of The Apes (2001) 11.15 Little Children (2006) 1.55am Deterrence (1999) 4.00 Close

11.15am The Dark Crystal (1982) 1.00pm The Naked Runner (1967) 3.00 The Boyfriend (1971) 5.25 Disorderlies (1987) 6.55 The Year Of Living Dangerously (1982) 9.00 Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil (1997) 11.55 The Sergeant (1968) 2.00am Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil (1997)

Classics

Indie

041_LS419TVmon

4/9/09

12:31 PM

Page 1

monday 20 Ashes To Ashes BBC1, 9pm When a man is found dead in a strip club, it looks like a sex game has gone wrong. So when the deceased is discovered to be a police officer, Gene and Alex are ordered to keep the case under wraps. But when the pathologist uncovers signs that the officer was murdered, they must venture into dangerous territory.

Timewatch: In Shackleton’s Footsteps BBC2, 11.30pm A small group of British men have some unfinished family business in Antarctica. One hundred years ago, their ancestors, under the leadership of the renowned explorer Ernest Shackleton, failed to become the first men to reach the South Pole.

Can they do it now?

Snow BBC4, 9pm Documentary series about the weather looks at snow, that most fleeting and beautiful of elements which endlessly fascinates us.

Using rare footage we journey into the microscopically small world of the snow crystal, finding out how a snowflake forms and why it is always six-sided. Aww, the sweetest weather.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Arthur 3.40 Arthur 3.55 Uncle Max 4.05 Beat The Boss USA 4.35 M.I. High 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 Watchdog .

8.00 EastEnders Masood panics when Zainab wonders about his relationship with Jane, and Roxy struggles to deal with a grieving Ronnie as Jack continues to pile on the pressure. Meanwhile, Heather receives an unexpected call.

8.30 Panorama Current affairs.

9.00 Ashes To Ashes See highlights.

10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Omid Djalili Show Stand-up and sketches from awardwinning comedian Omid Djalili.

11.05 Inside Sport Films and opinion from the world of sport.

11.35 FILM: The Front Line (2006) Crime thriller in which an African immigrant working as a bank security guard is forcibly recruited by a Dublin gang intent on robbery. Despite their reputation for being uncompromisingly vicious, the guard works as their man on the inside but devises a plan of his own to turn the tables.

1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Alan Whicker’s Journey Of A Lifetime. 2.15 Sign Zone: Real Swiss Family Robinson 3.15 Sign Zone: Building The Olympic Dream. 4.15 Sign Zone: MasterChef 4.45 BBC News

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Dani’s House 8.00 Scoop 8.30 Big And Small 8.40 Bob The Builder 8.50 3rd And Bird 9.00 Mr Tumble 9.10 Mister Maker 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Telling Tales 11.15 Telling Tales 11.20 Let’s Write Poetry: The Big Slam 11.40 Let’s Write A Story 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Snooker 6.00 Eggheads Quiz 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan.

7.00 World Snooker World Snooker.

8.00 Wainwright’s Walks Series in which Julia Bradbury explores the work of Britain’s greatest fell walker and author, Alfred Wainwright.

8.30 Nigella Express This time, she creates tasty comfort dishes, like a fast, restoring bowl of rapid ragu or a chicken pot pie to make everything better in an instant.

9.00 Heroes Drama series about people dealing with their newly discovered superpowers.

9.45 The Hairy Bakers From birthday cakes to traditional wedding cakes, Simon King and Dave Myers delve into the world of celebration cakes and face their biggest challenge to date – making a five-tier wedding cake.

10.00 Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle Stewart explores the difficulties of making jokes about religion.

10.30 Newsnight National and international news stories.

11.20 21st Century Bach Organ music by the great composer.

11.30 Timewatch: In Shackleton’s Footsteps See highlights.

12.30am World Snooker Highlights 1.20 World Snooker Extra 3.20 GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Taste The Nation

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Will And Grace 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.50 Without A Trace 11.45 Great British Brands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.30 FILM: 23 Paces To Baker Street (1956) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News And Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Mark tries to buy Faye off.

7.30 Coronation Street Maria is confronted by the ghost of Liam.

8.00 The Truth About Immigration: Tonight With the UK in the grip of recession, immigration has become a point of contention with some arguing that borders should be shut and jobs saved for Britons. Sir Trevor McDonald investigates the arguments around migrant workers and looks at the efforts being made to avoid a summer of social unrest.

8.30 Coronation Street Tony’s position comes under threat.

9.00 Hell’s Kitchen Marco Pierre White puts the celebrities through their kitchen paces.

10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.35 FILM: Disclosure (1994) Bigbudget thriller about sexual harassment and dirty dealings in the corporate world. Based on the bestseller by Michael Crichton.

12.55am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.25 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: 3.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons When Lisa becomes a finalist in a spelling bee, she is offered a bribe to throw the competition.

6.30 Hollyoaks Josh starts the day with an almighty hangover.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder A short film set in a Victorian tenement in Glasgow.

8.00 Dispatches After the financial crash, Britain is facing economic catastrophe. Economist and author Will Hutton gives the insider’s account of what went wrong.

9.00 Henry VIII: Mind Of A Tyrant Four-part biography on Henry 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Series in which a millionaire goes undercover in a deprived area in the hope of changing someone’s life.

11.05 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night Chris Moyles and guests compete in a quiz about the week’s events.

11.55 The Hospital Three-part documentary series examining the relationship between British teenagers and the NHS. 12.55am 4 Music: 4Play: Camera Obscura Performance and interview with Camera Obscura. 1.10 Killer In A Small Town 2.25 Dispatches: The Westminster Gravy Train 3.15 Unreported World 3.40 3 Minute Wonder: 25 Years On 3.50 The Real Nostradamus 4.50 Time Team 5.40 The Cubeez 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00am Kid’s TV 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Play!

9.00 Rupert Bear 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor: Ann’s Top Ten! 12.15pm House Doctor: Ann’s Top Ten! 12.40 Zoo Days 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 FILM: 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1997) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Leah and Roman are involved in a car accident.

6.30 Zoo Days Strolch the South American bear pays a visit to the eye surgeon. Can anything be done to save his eyesight? Six newborn lemurs also feature.

7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Massive Speed Documentary series in which Chris Barrie examines the evolution of machines designed for speed.

8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show.

9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Robson Green profiles the hottest fishing destination.

10.00 Extraordinary People: Britain’s Tiniest Toddlers Series of absorbing documentaries exploring remarkable stories of human experience from all over the world.

11.05 FILM: Addicted To Love (1997) Dark romantic comedy about two jilted lovers who will go to any lengths to get even with their respective ex-partners. A small-town astronomer travels to New York in the hope of winning back the love of his life but ends up joining forces with the ex-lover of his girl’s new boyfriend.

12.55am NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 1.40 USPGA 2.30 Arenacross 3.20 Motorsport Mundial 3.45 IndyCar. 4.35 NBA. 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Premiership Rugby Union 11.30 Spanish Football 1.30pm Ford Football Special 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.30am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Time Of Our Lives 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 Max Power

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 ATP Tennis 12.00pm The Super 14 Show 2.00 ATP Tennis 4.00 Golf Night 6.00 Extra Time 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 Spirit Of Yachting VIII 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 Extra Time 10.00 Poker 12.00am Elite League Speedway 2.00 Poker 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Premiership Rugby Union 8.00 Seamaster Sailing 8.30 Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Golf Night 2.00 Adrenaline Adventures 2.30 Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 5.00 WWE Raw 8.00 British Rally Championship 9.00 Wild Spirits 9.30 Spirit Of Yachting VIII 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

10.00am Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 Top Design 1.45 Futurama 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 The Lion Man 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Bondi Vet 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 24 10.00 Road Wars (x2) 12.00am Ross Kemp On Gangs 1.00 Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Robin Hood 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Heroes 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am Horne And Corden 12.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 1.00 Snog Marry Avoid?

1.30 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 2.30 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Railway Walks 8.00 Dorset Days: A Year In The Life Of Longhorn Jim 9.00 Snow 10.00 Spiral (x2) 11.40 FILM: Comment J’ai Tue Mon Pere (2002) 1.15am Snow 2.15 Dorset Days: A Year In The Life Of Longhorn Jim 3.15 Railway Walks

3.45pm Loose Women 4.45 The Ricki Lake Show 5.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.10 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 Primeval 9.00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 11.50 Coronation Street (x2) 12.50am FILM: Thirteen (2003) 2.55 Teleshopping

12.00pm Heartbeat 1.05 Ballykissangel 2.10 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 3.20 FILM: And She Was (2007) 5.15 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 The Beiderbecke Affair 9.00 Sharpe’s Challenge 10.35 Inspector Morse 12.45am The Return Of Sherlock Holmes

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.50 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Samantha Who? 10.30 FILM: The First Wives Club (1996) 12.35am Scrubs (x2)

4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 10.00 Country House Rescue 11.05 The Queen’s Coronation: Behind Palace Doors 12.10am ER

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare 2.30 Passport Patrol 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 CSI 9.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 10.30 Boob Envy 11.30 CSI 12.30am Psychic Investigators 1.00 Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm The Brittas Empire 3.40 Just Good Friends 4.20 As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Porridge 6.20 My Family 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Steptoe And Son 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Only Fools And Horses 10.45 Only Fools And Horses 12.50am The Royle Family

3.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am Two And A Half Men (x2)

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 Mythbusters (x2) 11.00 Massacre At Columbine High 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Couples Who Kill

12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 7.00 Angel 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 Medium (x2) 11.00 Dead Like Me 12.00am FILM: The Ferryman (2007)

11.05am The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 1.05pm Custer Of The West (1968) 3.30 Holiday Inn (1942) 5.15 Two For The Road (1967) 7.15 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 9.00 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 10.55 Two For The Road (1967) 12.50am The Boston Strangler (1968)

9.30am Sicko (2007) 11.40 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 1.40pm Tumbleweeds (1999) 3.30 The Top 10 Show 3.45 The Serpent (2006) 5.50 Sicko (2007) 8.00 Mumford (1999) 10.00 Boys Don’t Cry (1999) 12.00am Quadrophenia (1979) 2.00 Mumford (1999) 3.55 Ten Canoes (2006)

1.00pm The Dark Corner (1946) 2.55 The Gunfighter (1950) 4.35 The Four Feathers (1939) 6.50 Last Holiday (2006) 9.00 The Devil Wears Prada (2006) 11.10 Shopgirl (2005) 1.15am Half Moon (2006) 3.35 Close

11.00am The Desert Song (1953) 1.00pm A Little Romance (1979) 3.00 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 4.45 Pride And Prejudice (1940) 7.00 What’s Up Doc? (1972) 8.30 TCM Presents Under The Influence: Bill Murray 9.00 Caddyshack (1980) 10.55 See You In The Morning (1989) 1.15am Caddyshack (1980)

Classics

Indie