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t h e city magazine for brighton & h o v e

★ jobs ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 27 Jan – 2 Feb 2009


★david van day★ out of the jungle and back in the fast lane

flying high great food and a relaxed atmosphere at birdcage walk page 17


cool as folk richard thompson on a history of music

wrap up in style winter glamour for top-to-toe


the uk’s best free green & ethical lifestyle magazine is now inside latest 7 p34



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Ê w x | Ü Ü t ` z Ç | à à x ÂZ

Don’t miss our special Sunday opening Sunday 1 February 2009, 11am to 4pm New Collections now in store Also designer samples available with up to 50% off

52 Western Road, Hove BN3 1JD 01273 323046



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★ latest jobs 4

It’s nearly time for the first festival of the year next month SEE Festival, Brighton’s documentary film festival, will be held at the Umi Hotel. For a whole weekend the Umi (the former Belgrave, between the piers) will showcase some of the best British talent. Turn to our film section (p23) for an overview and keep reading over the coming weeks for an indepth look at some of the films. The clever people behind the Three and Ten in Kemp Town, one of Brighton’s biggest pub success stories in recent years, have opened a new venue. Their new restaurant/cafe/bar Birdcage Walk is in Fiveways,and is well worth tackling the hill (p17). If you’re looking for somewhere to eat elsewhere in the city, you won’t go wrong with the new in-house restaurant at Drakes Hotel. If you‘re not yet convinced, see what our respected food writer, Andrew Kay, made of it (p18). Andrew also enjoyed watching a play designed to tackle homophobia in schools, read his review of FIT on the stage page (p25) or find out about Stonewall’s fundraising campaign to turn the play into a DVD in our weekly gay section (p32). If your heels and party clothes have been packed away since Christmas, they might be about to get their first outing. In health and beauty, Zara Baker has some tips on what to wear for Valentine’s Day (p35). However you feel about David Van Day, it has been hard to ignore him over the past three months. He told Latest what life has been like since the public started letting him back into their homes (p13). Folk musician Richard Thompson is playing at Brighton Dome this weekend with an erudite show – 1,000 years of pop music. He spoke to our music editor Jeff Hemmings (p28). More history on the art page, where Jeff celebrates 150 years of the University of Brighton School of Art and Design (p26). How important is money? In Latest Sport, Joe Curtin looks at the power wielded by Manchester City, who last week found out they can’t buy everything (p16). If you want to make the most of your business in a tough climate, you could make a few contacts at the new monthly Juice 107.2 FM business breakfast at myhotel. Photographer Tim Richardson was at the first event, see who else was there in his social diary (p8). More help for businesses in Latest Homes, where you can find out how The Executive Centre offers you the opportunity to take advantage of managed premises without the hassle of a long term lease (p16).

4 Make your future digital

21 Reviews and listings

★latest upfront 7–11

Rounded up and reviewed

22 Film Flicktastic moments for the week

7 Seann is applying himself – honestly, plus crossword


23 Film Brighton SEE Festival

8 Social diary: The Juice Breakfast club 25 Stage

kicks off – very early!

8 Comps: win clubbing tickets and CDs 9 Dani gets her teeth into the Honours system, the post and travelling rubbish

10 Alison‘s opening a Pandora’s box; Will faces the world hair-product free

11 Celeb City: It’s bright lights all

Bullying faced, plus listings

26 Comedy A comedien’s journey, plus listings

26 Art A history of art in Brighton

27 Events & Books

the way for Sussex actresses

Fish counting and local author

12 Bare Cheek looks at the movers and shakers in Brighton. Plus, Astral Angi

13 Celebrity interview: David Van Day on life back at the top of the celeb jungle

★ latest news 14–16

28 Music Richard Thompson interviewed, highlights, reviews Brighton  Latest Download Chart




29 Club and music listings 14 Round up of the week’s news and Mary Mears on the Brighton centre

15 Phil Mills on a mother’s victory and the benefits of holiday anticipation

16 Letters: Truth hurts? Sport: Can you buy talent? And local boy’s victory

Wrap up and get out there

32 Gay News, plus listings for the week

35 Health Top to toe fashion and beauty

36 Television

★ latest lifestyle 17–20

Dani on Celebrity Big Brother, plus seven days of lovely listings


17 Cover feature: Head to Birdcage walk for superb food in a relaxed setting


18 Food: Andrew tests out the new scene at Drakes and is delighted

19 Hotlist. Where to dine out this week

18  01273


 Editorial: Advertising: Managing Editor Bill Smith

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Business Director Angi Mariani

Editor Rachel Pegg

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Production Manager Neil Ive

Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Staff Writers Will Harris Seann Walsh Dani Winch Sub Editor Joe Curtin Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Marie Viviani Advertising Sales Sophie Longhurst Administration Claire Peerless Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

23 29

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor


★ latest listings 21– 43


the uk’s best free green & ethical lifestyle magazine is now inside latest 7 latest 7 3



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Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

Sales Person required for busy advertising dept Latest Homes Ltd cover a variety of titles

Top Media Jobs Operations Director – Worth To support current growth there is an exciting opportunity for an exceptional operations director to complement our creative team of digital marketing and communications professionals.

Flash Designer – Worth The successful candidate will work closely with our art directors to produce Flash solutions for a range of high-profile commercial/public sector clients. You will be responsible for delivering high-end Flash graphics and animation of dynamic and compelling products.

Web Project Administrator – Worth Full service digital agency Worth require a part-time web project administrator to provide support services to our friendly and ultra-busy project teams on key blue-chip and government accounts. Some flexibility on hours but we anticipate 9:30am–2:30pm Monday to Friday.

Mac/Cocoa Developer – Realmac Software Limited We’re a small, friendly company that loves making easy to use and critically-acclaimed applications for Mac OS X. Our flagship website creation application RapidWeaver has taken the Mac world by storm since its launch in 2004, and we recently shipped an all-new application: LittleSnapper.

Support & Q&A – Realmac Software Limited We’re looking for another member of staff to serve as the bridge between our customers and our developers. You'll be working through email and other electronic support routes with customers who contact us for help, making sure that their questions are answered and that their customer experience is as friendly as is humanly possible.

Be a part of our creative team and work in a fastpaced environment, managing existing accounts and developing new client contacts. If you can answer yes to the following, then you could be who we are looking for to join our successful team. • Energetic & enthusiastic approach • Highly motivated with the ability to work as part of the team and on your own initiative • Organised and able to work to deadlines • Excellent customer service skills Apply by emailing your CV to or call 01273 818150 ext 112 for an informal chat.

Project/Account Manager: Multimedia Public-i is expanding in both the UK and Europe and is looking for a full-time project officer and European account manager to work on managing our growing range of funded projects and in developing and growing our public sector clients through our Business Partner network.

PHP Developer – Holiday Taxis Our experienced development team are located in Hailsham, East Sussex and maintain our web sites,,, and many more. We are looking for a talented developer to join a relaxed and informal environment.

Senior Graphic Designer – Brighton & Hove City Council Every day here is different. As Brighton & Hove City Council’s in-house design service, we design a huge variety of jobs. We’ve designed campaigns, identities, bins, vehicles, exhibitions, websites as well as brochures and leaflets. You must be highly creative with a strong portfolio and significant solid design experience.

4 latest jobs

hundreds of jobs every week



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To advertise call 01273 818150 ext 102


Business aid Sue Deane of local solicitors Dean Wilson Laing gives invaluable advice to the city’s thousands of small companies and employees This week: Redundancy consultation – what are the prime considerations? In the current economic climate and with a very bleak outlook for 2009 many employers are finding themselves faced with the unavoidable need to reduce overheads which inevitably means considering making staff redundant. Q. I know I need to consult with my staff but how do I embark on this? A. The first thing you need to do is to make a list of all the roles within your company and identify the key skills required for those roles. You then need to analyse the ongoing need for each of those roles to be carried out and decide which, if any, may no longer be required taking into account primarily if the need for work of a particular kind to be carried out in the place where your staff are employed has ceased or diminished or is expected to. Q. What other criteria do I need to identify before I embark on the consultation process? A. It is essential that the criteria you apply are entirely objective. These should include versatility, reliability, adaptability, attendance record and disciplinary record. This list is not exhaustive and other criteria may be more appropriate to your particular area of work

Q. What about the criterion of “last in, first out”? A. In order to avoid any possible allegation of age discrimination, length of service should not be taken into account when selecting people. Q. Once I have compiled the criteria for selection for redundancy what do I need to do next? A. You need to consider each of the employees whose roles within your organisation have ceased or diminished or are expected to, and thereby identify the pool of employees from which the selection will be made. Q. When I have established the pool, do I then proceed to score each employee against the criteria which I have formulated? A. Yes, you need to score each individual employee against the set of criteria and then review the totals. You will then have fairly established the employees at risk of redundancy. Q. Do I need to consult with employees individually or can I speak to them all together. A. This will depend very much on the scale of the projected redundancies. Even if you decide to speak to your workforce collectively in the first instance, you must then speak to

each employee individually. Q. Why do I need to speak to each employee individually – this will be so time-consuming? A. The rationale behind speaking to each employee is not only one of fairness but the employee has a right to put forward their views and representations regarding the possible redundancy. You may find out that they have a skill which you were totally unaware of and which could be applied in a different area of your business to your advantage. It is essential that a written record is kept of all consultation meetings. The notetaker should ideally be a person who has and will have no involvement in the ultimate decision.. Q. How long do I have to give the employee to consider what has been discussed during the consultation meetings? A. Employees should be given a minimum of seven days to consider their position and then a further meeting should be held with all relevant employees individually to advise them whether or not they have been selected for redundancy. Q. Once I have decided that an employee is redundant, what do I have to do next?

A. You have to consider whether there are any suitable vacancies within your organisation which should be offered to the employee whether or not that alternative employment would result in a demotion or a reduction in pay. Q. If there are no suitable vacancies, how do I proceed to dismiss the relevant employees? A. You have to write to each employee setting out the reasons for the redundancy (if they have been continuously employed for more than 12 months) and advising them what they are entitled to in respect of statutory redundancy pay (if they have been continuously employed for more than 2 years) notice pay and any accrued holiday pay. You also have to offer the right to appeal against the decision to dismiss which should be made within five working days by way of a letter setting out the grounds for the appeal. NB: The procedure outlined above complies with the current Statutory Dismissal Procedures which are due to be abolished at the end of March 2009. After that date the new ACAS Code of Practice will need to be complied with to avoid potential claims of unfair dismissal.

Do you have a question on employment law for Dean Wilson Laing? Send it to Latest Homes at our usual address, or by email to


SOUND ADVICE Dean Wilson Laing

• Employment law • Family law • Buying & selling your home

• Personal injury • Wills & probate


Sue Deane 96 Church Street•Brighton•BN1 1UJ t: 01273 327241 f: 01273 770913•

hundreds of jobs every week

Community Legal Service

Specialist Help Point Housing, Family and Personal Injury Law

latest jobs 5



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Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

109 Western Road, Hove


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brices sales & lettings HARRINGTONS LETTINGS DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE THE BEST SALESPERSON? IF SO, THEN APPLY TO ME TODAY! LETTINGS NEGOTIATORS (6 REQUIRED) VARIETY, CHALLENGE, JOB SATISFACTION, RESULTS, REWARDS! OVER ÂŁ25,000 OTE PER ANNUM (COMMISSION ONLY) Harringtons Lettings are currently looking for six full-time Lettings Negotiators on a commission only basis. You will ideally have some experience within the Letting industry but it is not essential. You will be someone who relishes a challenge, thrives under pressure, takes initiative, makes decisions and enjoys dealing with people both face to face and on the phone. You will be supplied with a substantial amount of property to let on a weekly basis and all of the tools to let them with. The position will be on a fully self-employed basis. You will be working 5 days a week 8.30am to 7pm every day. However, THERE ARE LARGE REWARDS AND MONEY TO BE EARNED.


6 latest jobs

HOME CONSULTANT Smart, ambitious, enthusiastic & confident person with excellent communication skills required to join our busy city centre office. This exciting and versatile role involves negotiations in all aspects of property sales and lettings. A sound knowledge of the market and economical factors required. Full driving licence essential. This is a fantastic opportunity for the right candidate in this forward thinking company

Send CV and handwritten covering letter to: Louise Brice, 30c Western Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 1AF or email:

hundreds of jobs every week



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Seann’s world Seann Walsh decides honesty is the best policy and writes an ‘unembellished’ CV

CV? Honestly! About six months ago, I needed (but very much didn’t want) work, and had to produce a CV. The phrase ‘Write a CV’ can be paraphrased, quite accurately, as ‘Analyse your life, come to the conclusion that you've underachieved, and then try to pretend that you haven’t’. It’s impossible not to judge yourself when remembering every academic failure, every unfinished task, every job you couldn’t bear for more than a fortnight. Writing a CV forces us into striving to remember what we’d rather forget. The advice we’re given is to ‘embellish’. I didn’t do telesales for two weeks and then quit: I was a telephone sales agent on a temporary basis. I didn’t sit in a pub all day, getting drunk and having all-night lock-ins: I was a bar manager. But some things are hard to embellish. It seems that I was ‘between jobs’ for all of 2006. I had no choice but to call it travelling. Normally, when people say they travelled, they went to India, or Thailand, or South America. In 2006 I probably travelled downstairs. It’s like saying I went to Narnia when I actually hid in a cupboard. The use of the word ‘embellishment’, in this context, is an embellishment in itself. We’re not dealing with a decoration of the truth, but rather a wholesale refurbishment. We are lying.

I stopped typing and deleted my CV halfway through inventing A levels. I was sick of lying. It was time to tell the truth – it was time to write a real CV. I recommend it whole-heartedly. It’s rather liberating to embrace one’s own uselessness rather than denying it. Below is an excerpt. About me I have a pallid, careworn complexion, purple eye rings and teeth that are yellow at their cleanest. On a good day, I smell of ashtrays and wet towels. My inability to apply myself to even the most simple of tasks is such that the only thing I’ve ever finished in one sitting was a poo in 1993. Finally, my social skills are so damaged by years of solitude that I have a recurrent habit of mispronouncing the word ‘Hello’ as ‘What do you want from me?’ Career history In a dazzling show of imagination and ambition, I did my school work experience in Tesco, turning up for the first three days before realising that work is pointless, people are bewildering and lying in bed pretending to be ill is easy, especially if you whimper and get your mum to ring the employer.

“Having spent most of school smoking and vandalising the toilets I had fewer qualifications than the sofa on which I spent the next two years”

Education history Having spent most of my time at secondary school smoking and vandalising the toilets, I emerged with fewer qualifications than the sofa on which I spent the next two years of my life smoking and reading teletext. I then stood up and enrolled in college, but left when they started assigning work. Now, I’m half-heartedly seeking work. That it has so far proved unsuccessful is probably down to a combination of my raddled appearance, poor social skills and unusual odour. Hobbies and interests Nope. I sent it off to a wide range of employers: pubs, call centres, banks, accountants, greengrocers, hairdressers, restaurants, travel agents and more. I didn’t receive one call back. I couldn’t have been more pleased with the result.

 Comments? Get in touch:

latestcrossword Cryptic 178 ACROSS 1 Car men and frogmen have the right (7) 5 Special person – the queen snake (5) 8 To do with origin of carnivore with tropical tail (9) 9 Extra money for a good idea (3) 10 Jibe at town endlessly (5) 12 Make wild one recline (3,4) 13 Frenchman takes flower for the boss (6) 14 Juries made up of friends with Geordieland at heart (6) 17 Pole slain with experience (7) 19 Moist mixture of hydrogen, iodine and mud (5) 21 Sounding in good health, Len starts to be ill (3) 22 In turning dim, Hermes glistened (9) 24 The senior tree (5) 25 Story about strange pod creature (7)

solutions on page 32

Quick 178 DOWN 1 Figure how to make a hole (5) 2 At home north of the ale house (3) 3 Give right to the French to follow bird back North East (7) 4 Big firm in devious country (6) 5 It’s worth a turn in the low land (5) 6 Fuel that’s a mere blend in Pluto (9) 7 Writhing snake shows regret (7) 11 Learning to get revolving sun put to death (9) 13 A lot of people get old from soothing treatment (7) 15 Tree woman ruined and feeling disgraced (7) 16 Commercial separation all at sea (6) 18 Idle person said to be a source of light (5) 20 Get away from old Western city (5) 23 Threesome almost famous in Brazil (3)

ACROSS 1 Very old (7) 5 Musical note (5) 8 Crustaceans (9) 9 Mine (3) 10 Artist's frame (5) 12 One named (7) 13 Development (6) 14 Extol (6) 17 Steps (7) 19 Cloth (5) 21 Tree (3) 22 Musician (9) 24 Nursemaid (5) 25 Raise (7).

DOWN 1 Walk slowly (5) 2 Vehicle (3) 3 Shoulder-piece (7) 4 Skill (6) 5 Breast (5) 6 Growth (9) 7 Outermost (7) 11 Fighter (9) 13 Ship (7) 15 Backslide (7) 16 Take up (6) 18 Admission (5) 20 Medical worker (5) 23 Beverage (3)

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latestdiary With Tim Richardson Juice breakfast club Juice 107.2 launched the Juice Breakfast Club at Zilli Brasserie in myhotel Brighton on Friday 16 January 2009. The breakfast club is a networking opportunity for business leaders and directors. Speakers at the launch included Steve Stark from Juice 107.2, Ben Ferrer, general manager at myhotel Brighton and Aldo Zilli from the Zilli Brasserie who was celebrating his birthday and was surprised by staff with a cake during the event. For more information on the Juice Breakfast Club that takes place on the third Friday of the month, contact Liz Li at, call 01273 244141, or visit

Steve Stark, Steve Jones, Ryan Heal (Juice 107.2 FM), Ben Ferrer (myhotel Brighton) Aldo Zilli (Zilli Brasserie) Liz Li, Sam Glover, Steve Constable (Juice 107.2 FM)

Sophie Moore (Mischief Promotions) Nick Harvey (Harvey Marketing Company)

Caroline Oram (Howlett Clarke Solicitors) Christina Chatfield (Dental Health Spa)

Mark Jenkins (Hugo Morris Bespoke) and Steven Morris (Spokenfor)

Jennifer Anderson-Mann (Madame Geisha Brighton), Phil Graves (Graves Jenkins), Jamie Shaw (Geeks-on-Wheels) and Reuben Faro (GX Signs)

IN IT TO WIN IT Club tickets and CDs to win Prok & Fitch Valentine’s Special Get ready for the loved-up month of February with a Valentine’s Day clubbing special featuring acclaimed DJs Prok and Fitch. Special guest DJ Disciple will join Prok and Fitch for Floorplay, the Valentine’s party on 14 February at Coalition on Brighton seafront and we have five pairs of tickets up for grabs. The night kicks off at 10.30pm and continues into the early hours. Prok and Fitch are making a name for themselves as top DJs in dance, tough house and electro tech jams. Floorplay is the boys’ own label and the popular monthly Brighton party of the same name. Don’t miss out on this special Valentine’s Floorplay session coming to Coalition soon.

8 latest 7

We have a pair of tickets (worth £20) to give away for the Valentine’s clubbing night with Prok and Fitch. To be in with a chance of winning, tell us: What is the name of Prok and Fitch’s label? See below for entry details. Entrants must be aged 18+. Proof of ID will be required on the night.

Movida Dubs Movida Dubs is the debut album from San Francisco’s dance music pioneers Charles Spencer and Mauricio Aviles. We have five copies to give away to fans of deep house and tech sounds. Released on the acclaimed Loveslap! label, this is a sonic, low-slung electronic journey into the groove. Tracks include the ‘Sugar Bone,’ ‘Sway and to hear Rock,’ an ‘5ive On The Run.’ Let the Movida Dubs experience take over, whether you‘re new to their music or familiar with the boys’ sounds. This is deep house grooves at its best. To be in with a chance of winning, tell us: Which part of the US do Charles Spencer and Mauricio Aviles bring their deep house sounds from? See below for entry details.

To win, email: with the name of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 9 February



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Dani’s diary Dani Winch wants to speed up the post, shape up the Honours and get bins used

Rightful Honours My grandparents were disappointed that Bruce Forsyth was not on the 2009 New Year Honours List. Personally, I was relieved. I can’t think of anything worse than him being known as a ‘Sir‘. Can you imagine the amount of unfunny jokes that would create and also, I know he is old and has been doing what he does for years, but I don’t think he deserves it.

“The world is more interested in celebrities rather than the nurse who works 12-hour days“ But if Bruce doesn’t deserve it who does? Chris Hoy was on the list, but was his achievement really worth an MBE? What really makes Chris Hoy any different? Perhaps the honour should be reserved for those who have done great things for mankind: scientists, explorers, inventors, teachers, doctors. It’s not to say that these people aren’t awarded, it’s just that you don’t really hear about it.

When David Beckham was awarded an OBE in 2003 every newspaper and news channel reported on the event, what was Victoria wearing? Wasn’t it great that David Beckham received it? For doing what? Other than giving a few children a role model (and not a particularly good one); kicking a ball and having a new hairstyle every week? Michael Caine was given a CBE in 1993 and, hypocritically, I don’t find that as annoying, but I still don’t fully agree. Celebrities get the chance to win awards all over the world, but the teachers who dedicate their life to educating children get nothing. Perhaps celebrities are given the Honours to keep the Honours in the headlines. In that case couldn’t the ‘real’ people who receive them become mini-celebrities? Is it impossible for us to celebrate their greatness? Ninety-seven percent of the most recent Honours list was made up of people awarded for their services to education, services to public service and services to charity. But unless you know them you could walk straight past them in the street and never know. Unfortunately the world is more interested in what the celebrity nation is doing rather than the nurse who works 12-hour days. Isn’t it time we celebrated the good people in our towns, as opposed to moaning that some doddery comedian didn’t get the award. No matter how old he is or how many times he made you laugh he was never the one who saved your life.

Bin it

Speed it up!

Some travellers have moved onto some land on the outskirts of the city. I am really not bothered, if that is how they want to live their lives so be it. It has to be said that when they move on there is, quite frequently, a lot of rubbish left on the land. Is it too much to ask for it to be cleared up by the people who put it there? If the argument is that there are no bins in the areas, I know that isn’t always true. And if there are no bins, it would be because the land isn’t thought of as a space where bins would be needed. Surely it’s not too much to ask for them to take their rubbish away with them? The same problem can be seen on Brighton Beach in the summer. I don’t understand how people can be so disrespectful – especially somewhere where there are bins at such easy access. And while on the subject of bins, I can’t understand why our council, which is always barking up the green tree, hasn’t changed all the bins in the centre of town into separated recycling bins?

Do you remember having two post deliveries a day? Now I’m lucky to get post before 1.30pm. When I was younger we would get a delivery before I left for school and then there would be a second post. Now, the Royal Mail aim to have all first class post delivered the next day and all second class within three days. My pessimism questioned this, so I posted myself two letters (at the same time), one first class and one second. They both arrived the next day at 1pm. Overall, a good result, but had the first class letter been important, and I needed it before lunchtime, I would’ve been disappointed. I don’t think the post is unreliable, it’s just so late we are probably a day behind.

 Comments? Get in touch: Dine for £4.95

Dine for £9.95

2 COURSE MEAL FROM 12 – 6 PM (Kids under 5 years eat for free, under 10 yrs £2.50)

3 COURSE MEALS + Glass of house wine or soft drink

STARTER Garlic Bread/Minestrone Soup/Pollo Goujons

STARTER Bruscheta Pomodoro/Prawn Cocktail/Parma Ham and Melon/ Pane all Aglie e Mozzarella/Tomato Soup with Crouton/ Olive Di Campagna

MAIN COURSE Spaghetti Bolognese/Penne Salmone/ Pizza Asparagus/Pizza Margharita ALL DESSERTS £2.95 Tiramisu/Strawberry cheesecake/Profiteroles/Ice Cream Coffee £1.50 SPECIAL OFFER Bottle of house wine red/white £5.95 (normal price £9.95)

MAIN COURSE Penne Sicilliana/Pizza alla Rhomano/ Pollo Realle/Tuna Steak/Ravioli Quattro Formaggi Coffee or tea

15% off A la carte menu with this voucher Please bring voucher with you. Offer ends February 2009

48–49 St. James’s Street, Kemp Town Brighton BN2 1RG

Tel: 01273 604060 latest 7 9



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Swanning around

Man on a mission

Alison Swann has decided this will be the year she tries to find her father

Will Harris really suffers on his quest as this week he goes without hair products

I’ve been facing a few demons recently. Not for the first time in my life, but there have been some pretty major ones backing up in the hallway and I have been getting rather tired of clambering over them pretending they don’t exist. The process started at the end of last year and saw my life gradually free up so now as 2009 kicks well into its stride I’m contemplating the biggy. The one that has been the boogie-woogie wonderment for, well, ever. Well, for all of my ever. Everyone seems to keep talking about ‘reality biting‘ and ‘facing up to things‘, so I think this might be what is pressing my decision to finally go ahead and pursue this thing that nags me on a regular basis. I’ve decided this year will be the one where I make a serious attempt to find my father. And if, by the end of the year, I haven’t made even the remotest of progress, then, for the sake of my own sanity I am going to close that Pandora’s box.

Photo: iikozen @

“With that theory in mind, I would be flirting my face off and do something that would instantly qualify me for a spot on the Jeremy Kyle Show“

“I don’t think I want to do this anymore,” I complain, looking on glumly as Nadia picks through the remains of our bathroom cabinet like an unusually hygiene-conscious vulture. In her hand she is holding a bag containing the following items: two tins of matt clay, one tin of texturising gum, one can of extra strong hairspray and one ancient, tarnished can of mousse that I think predates a time when I had hair. “Can’t I start with something less stressful? Like the marathon?” But Nadia, whose only concessions towards becoming my coach so far have been to buy a gold medallion on eBay and start smoking even more than usual, has made her mind up that this is going to be the very first challenge in my year of challenges. Number 3 – Contemplate life without hair products. “Don’t be a diva. I’m easing you in gently,” she says, stalking past me and up the stairs to my bedroom in search of further contraband. Gently? Does she not realise that separating someone like me from his grooming regime is like forcing a bear to dance on its hind legs?

“Is my hair so awful in its natural state that I have to slather it with God knows what just to leave the house?” I should point out that I have never actually met my father or even seen a picture of him. My mum assures me that I am the ‘spit of him’. I have at my lower moments taken this to mean that I look like a man in drag, then at other times taken it to mean that my dad was a man in drag. I quite like the latter. Not knowing your father can be quite weird at times. Aren’t you supposed to fancy people who look like you? With that theory in mind then, if I was to meet my father I would be flirting my face off and do something that would instantly qualify me for a spot on the Jeremy Kyle Show. I’m not worried on that front, as my dad would now be over 70 and I’ve never been up for pulling a pensioner. However, his two sons (my half-brothers) had better watch out; that has potential disaster written all over it. So how did we get to this situation? I was the consequence of an affair my mum had with a married man with two young sons. She was young; he was old enough to know better. When his wife found about my imminent arrival she stepped in pretty rapidly and put an end to the affair and that was the last my mum saw of my father. His wife said they were moving to New Zealand, but as my mum rightly pointed out, she was angry and saying anything to save her marriage. I have always been quite pragmatic about the situation around my conception and subsequent abandonment. My mum says my dad was a nice guy, but he had to make a choice and he didn’t choose us. You might question the ‘nice guy’ bit from a man having an affair with a girl 10 years younger then him, while his wife is at home looking after his kids. I’ve always chosen not to judge. People make mistakes, they do now and they will forever. So, if he is still alive, I guess the thing that presses on my mind is that he is not a young man and any opportunity I might have of ever meeting him might slip through my fingers at the final hurdle. If he is dead, then there are two sons, my half-brothers. I have no idea if they know about me but that’s definitely a ‘cross bridge when come to it’ one, but I do know that if I don’t get the bravery together to go and look at my past, then any fantasy I might have about ever seeing my father in the present will evaporate. So James Swann, antiques dealer, pewtersmith and dad, dead or alive, I’m coming to get you.

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As she bundles up my hair straighteners and tucks them under her arm, I’m half expecting her to whip out an accordion, shove on a headscarf and start screaming “Dance, Babushka, dance!” But she doesn’t, so I take my unadorned hair to bed and worry about transforming my ‘do’ into a ‘don’t’. The next day is Monday, and much to my delight I get caught in a rain shower on my way to work. Other people are running for shelter, holding newspapers over their precious locks, but not me. I just keep marching down the road, silently willing my hair to absorb as much water as possible and thus spare me from explaining to my co-workers why I’ve turned up as Liberace’s stunt double. “Have you done something different with your hair?” asks my boss before lunch, a question which my treacherous brain immediately subtitles as ‘Why the hell have you spent all morning camped out in the gents, crouching under the hand dryer and on the verge of tears? Freak’. “Caught in the rain,” I explain, tapping my keyboard extra hard to give the impression of great industry. “Oh,” she says. “I thought you might have had it dyed. It’s a nice colour.” Later, in the mirror, I notice it is a nice colour. After years of coercing my tresses into every shape possible without the use of scaffolding, it’s remarkable to see them minus their accrued patina of potions and lotions. Okay, it may not be the best I’ve ever looked, but is my hair so awful in its natural state that I have to slather it with God knows what just to leave the house? The truth is that it isn’t, and I’ve probably been a bit of an idiot for thinking anybody’s remotely interested in the way my hair looks, least of all people who don’t know me. In the pub after work, Nadia, medallion glinting, has an announcement to make: “I’ve worked out that each month you spend approximately £60 on your hair. That’s £720 over a year, or, to put it in a language you understand, two Playstation 3s and a hell of a night out.” “Wow,” I concede, “that is food for thought, and I have learnt an important lesson. Can I have my hair stuff back please?” “Oh, God, I thought you’d never ask!” she says, diving into her bag. “I swear everyone here thinks I’m on a date with Pat Butcher. Go! Go!”

 For comments and chit chat email



10:30 AM

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Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Girls’ world Sussex actresses star opposite Hollywood A-listers, while Billy and Katie make waves in the US

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Golden opportunities for Dakota Meanwhile another Brighton actress Dakota Blue Richards is still riding high – after starring in The Golden Compass, the schoolgirl can be seen again on the big screen from Friday 6 February in her new movie –The Secret of Moonacre. The 13year-old Brighton schoolgirl is used to starring alongside A-listers as she played next to Nicole Kidman in The Golden Compass. In her new movie however her parents in the film are played by Welsh heartthrob Iaon Gruffydd and yet another Sussex-based beauty, Natasha McElhone.

The call girl yummy mummy New mum and Sussex resident, Billie Piper clearly suits having a child. The former pop princess and ex-wife of Radio 2 DJ Chris Evans, is now playing the perfect yummy mummy. On a recent promotion tour of the US to launch her recent drama The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Billie left US chat show host Carson Daly speechless after telling him she didn’t mind stripping off completely for the series. She said “Playing a prostitute you accept nudity is required. There not much boobs, more arse.”

LA bound Katie Katie Price spotted going into her favourite beauty haunt, The Lanes Health & Beauty on Market Street. Was Katie having her farewell treatments before jetting off stateside for her latest trip to LA? Salon owner Julie Coates declined to comment – as always the soul of discretion on her celebrity regulars. But she did send us this picture of a blonde stunner: her son James who is pictured here with his team mates from Balfour School’s Southern Rangers Under 10s team. Julie has sponsored the team kit for the year and the fabulous Bob Booker and Matt Hicks from The Albion came along to show their ongoing support for youth football in Sussex. Love those Seagulls.

BAFTAs beckon for ex-Roedean student In the words of the Sugababes this week’s Celeb City is nicknamed “Here come the girls!” Following in the footsteps of actress Kate Winslet, ex-Roedean student Rebecca Hall is set to become our next British starlet. Rebecca is no stranger to the stage, as her father is top theatre director, Sir Peter Hall. Now 26-year-old Rebecca has been nominated for a BAFTA Rising Star Award, following her performance in the Woody Allen comedy, Vicky Cristina Barcelona – yet to be released in the UK. The film role is the actress’s first major part and her co-stars are pretty big for a first film – Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz none the less! Vicky Cristina Barcelona will be in cinemas from Friday 6 February.

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555,

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5:35 PM

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See more at

Bare cheek Movers & shakers Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Who are the hot young things currently making Brighton buzz? Persephone Redgrave-Allen (21) This brilliant young actress, granddaughter to Vanessa Redgrave and niece to Keith Allen, cousin to Lily Allen, second cousin to Natasha and Joely Richardson, and goddaughter to Andrew Lloyd Webber, has very definitely made it all on her own merits.

In & Out: Reformation edition IN


• The massacre of The Huguenots

• The massacre of the Waldensians

• Erasmus laying the egg that Luther hatched

• Luther hatching the egg that Erasmus laid

• The Millenary Petition

• The Dissolution of the Monasteries

• The 39 Articles

• The 95 Theses

• The Defenestration of Prague

• The Edict of Nantes

Hove factually

Peter Wilson (25) With a sketch show on Radio 4 and a sitcom (Plane Silly) set to appear on BBC2 in the spring, it seems that Peter Wilson has everything. Except, of course, for the tiniest, most pitifully wriggling and infinitesimal morsel of talent. One might suspect that his success is solely down to the fact that he’s a Cambridge alumnus and that both he and his father went to the same public school as the majority of the people who work for the BBC, were it not for the fact that such accusations would brand one ‘a bitter failure’.

Five facts you never knew about fantabulous Hove

Mark Ballast (29) Mark’s Sunday Telegraph column, in which he recounts the arguments he has with his wife and the problems he encounters with the men who are doing his loft extension, is shortly to be made into a Hollywood film starring Jackie Chan.

• Sam Waterston, star of Capricorn One and the long-running American TV series Law and Order, is barred from every pub on Portland Road. • Ordnance Survey maps of Hove printed between 1977 and 2002 contain a peculiar anomaly: they omit all of Hove, replacing it with a street plan of Soweto. • Then Jericho, Johnny Hates Jazz, Mr Mister, The Blow Monkeys, Hue and Cry and Swann’s Way all field teams in the Unijet Sussex County League Division Five.

Nick Risible (31) Brash new techno whizz kid, whose website, – devoted to selling things that can be obtained more easily and much cheaper in the shops – is set to see him in debtor’s prison by 2010 at the latest.

• Hove Museum has Britain’s largest collection of Hove memorabilia outside South Shields.

Nimby (?) Move over Banksy – there’s a new king in town! The surreal and hilarious graffiti ‘tags’ of the anonymous Nimby have been seen all over Brighton with increasing frequency in the past months. Will he turn out to be an upper-middle-class old Etonian from the Home Counties? Only time (and common sense) will tell.

• Hove cake, an EU Protected Designation of Origin foodstuff, is a much prized delicacy. Its recipe is a closely guarded secret, passed down through the same family from generation to generation, although recent analysts believe it to consist merely of a bar of Lyon’s Jamaican Ginger cake with the word ‘Hove’ scribbled on the wrapper in a big, black marker.

Astral Angi

★Finding truth in the stars★

This week Astral notes on nomenclature

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If you got amorous last April the outcome is imminent. Time to name names (no, not the father): so for a girl Baa-rbara perhaps and a boy Rameses. Rameses Jones, I like it.

For Cancer boys the perfect name is Rick and all attempts to use ‘The Claw’ should be avoided. Cancer girls suit something soft, delicious and pink like Marie Rose.

Solid old Librans need solid old names like Howard, Bruce, Reginald and Soames. Girls should all be called Janet as, sadly, it has gone out of favour and I crave its return.

Capricorn needs a nice earthy title. I favour Jennifer for girls as it is redolent of the fields, or at least of The Archers. For the men: Dan – never Daniel – butch yet soft too.


LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)



Suitable names for Taurean offspring might be Butch, Beefy, Biffer or Basher, and that’s just for the girls. All Taurean boys should be called Killer, just so we all know.

I want to call all Leonine girls Kitty because it’s just the best girls’ name ever so please join in the fun. Imagine the chaos at lights out when voices at back doors go: “Here Kitty Kitty.”

Scorpio offspring need nice spiky nomenclature. This is best achieved by dispensing totally with forenames and simply using surnames to greater dramatic effect: Sykes, Hitler, Stalin…

No point suggesting anything here as Aquarians will continue to name their spawn Leaf, Twig, Pebble and Kiss of Wind On Which My Soul Is Carried Forth. Not good coupled with Smith.





Gemini girls need something nice and girly like Gerty, Gladys or Gaynor. Come to think of it so do Gemini boys. Try Geoff, Gary, Guy or Shirley and add a little je ne sais quoi to their lives.

Virgoans need names that reflect their nature, so Faith, Purity, Honesty, Charity, Joy, Hope, Belle, Bella, Angela, Truth, Virtue and Peace will suffice. As will Old Stuffy Knickers.

The Sagi is best given something nice and easy like Betty, Fanny, Maud or Lily. Sagi men suit names like Bernard, Roy, Trevor, Clive or Desmond. There are far too few Desmonds around.

Pisceans should all be called either Roy or Muriel in homage to the purveyors of Brighton’s finest fish and chips. You may be excused for using these as second names.

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To talk to Astral Angi please email



5:50 PM

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Million dollar man Britain’s most annoying celeb or a national institution? Rachel Pegg chats with David Van Day, Dollar star and jungle antihero In just three months David Van Day’s career has done a spectacular u-turn. Before entering I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!, David was best known across the country for selling 10million records with Dollar in the 70s and 80s and his stints as part of Bucks Fizz. In his home town of Brighton, he was just as familiar for running a burger van near the clock tower in recent years, as well as a brief foray into politics which ended not long after he made an ill-judged joke about a gay choir. It might have seemed an irreversible trajectory. But by getting a place on the ITV reality show – David admits he spent a year persuading the producers to let him into the jungle – he has turned his fortunes upside down. Now he is inundated with media requests. He is so busy working he no longer needs a permanent base so he‘s sold his Brighton home and is thinking of selling his Spanish one. He‘s considering TV options – from offers to present a programme pitting celebrity men against daredevil ordinary women in challenges such as skydiving, to driving a car from Monte Carlo to London.

“If I don’t hear ‘you’re brilliant, you’re fantastic’ three or four times a day, there’s something wrong”

Sometimes, he says, being annoying isn‘t such a bad thing. “I was actually on holiday and a woman said, ‘I hated you but I couldn‘t stop watching you.‘ “Timmy was annoying. I could see that Timmy was annoying but they didn‘t have to be that nasty to him. “I‘m just going to seize the opportunity to entertain and if sometimes it’s a bit annoying or it kicks off an annoying event, that‘s the way it goes – you’ve got to start somewhere.“ David’s experiences with reality TV have led to him being invited to comment on the recent Celebrity Big Brother. It is clear he feels an affinity with rapper Coolio, whom he thinks was unfairly accused of being a bully by the young women in the house. “He wasn’t being bullying, he was just winding them up,“ David explains. “He started off very annoying and then they started to come round again and they quite like him now. It‘s a similar thing that happened to me.“ David might not own a property in Brighton but his two daughters live here and he says the city will always be his home. Asked if he would ever consider going back to the burger van, he refuses to say never: “Who knows? So long as I‘ve got a string of them. There‘s money in burgers.“ Pop Goes the Band, Living TV, February.

Love him or hate him, he is back and he has no intention of going away again. “Since coming out of the jungle,” he explains, “it's been full on, which one would imagine with a show that takes ten or 12million by the end. The profile, it’s in your face.“ The 52-year-old entrepreneur has appeared in OK magazine and on GMTV, Loose Women, The Wright Stuff and has recorded segments for Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway. He has also been invited to take part in a West End show and several new reality shows. He will next be seen on our screens in Living TV’s Pop Goes The Band, which persuaded David and Thereza Bazar to reform Dollar and have a major image overhaul, including a face lift for David. Eventually, he says, he’d like to try his hand at drama and is planning his own television show. “It feels like I‘m as big these days as I was the first time round in Dollar,“ he says. “It‘s a maturer type of thing. It‘s not just pop or one audience. This has gone right across the board.“ Part of his success, he explains, is down to the universal appeal of I‘m A Celebrity. “People watch in the tower blocks in Glasgow and the Regency houses on Brighton seafront. It’s been really full on and a bit of a roller coaster.“ In the show, David was unashamedly the character many viewers loved to hate, getting into altercations with other stars and refusing to give up his bed when Simon Webbe complained of a bad neck. Some suspected he had been egged on by the producers to stir up trouble, but David says he was just being himself. “People said, did they have a chat with me to see what I might do? “No. They might say, do you not like creepy crawlies and things like that, or are you afraid of heights, and those sort of questions because that‘s all geared up to make good telly. They wouldn‘t dare say, go in and wind it up. Maybe they were hoping I did and maybe they expected I would, and if so, they got it right, didn’t they?“ Shortly before Christmas announced David had been voted the Most Annoying Celebrity Ever. So it surprises me when, during our phone conversation – David is on a train from Brighton to Hove – a fellow passenger interrupts to tell him: “I think you’re fantastic.“ After thanking her, he tells me: “If I don‘t hear, you‘re brilliant, fantastic, three or four times a day, there‘d be something wrong. It’s absolutely bizarre what‘s happened to me.“ latest 7 13



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news summary

7 days of headlines

A ship shed 1,500 of timber off the Sussex coast. Rough seas caused a Russian ship 14 miles off Newhaven to drop the load last week. It washed up in Kent. It is a year since the wreck of the Ice Prince, which resulted in timber washing up on beaches from Worthing to Eastbourne. Barack Obama’s inauguration was celebrated with a party at Momma Cherri’s Soul Food Shack in East Street, Brighton. Supporters gathered to watch his first moments as the 44th American President. In his inauguation speech, Obama quoted Common Sense, the political treatise by 18th century Lewes resident Thomas Paine.

Stepping down The chief executive of Brighton and Hove City Council has resigned from his £170,000 a year post. Alan McCarthy, 54, will take early retirement. Born and raised in Brighton, he joined the council in 1997 when it became a unitary authority. He held various director posts before becoming deputy chief executive in 2001 and taking up his current role in November 2004. He said he had enjoyed “four brilliant years“ as chief executive but it was time for new challenges. He said: “I shall be sad to say goodbye to the fabulous workforce but I am proud of what we have achieved in the

time I have been there. We have made some excellent environmental and service improvements and I think Brighton and Hove is a better city to work, visit and live in than it has ever been.” Council leader Mary Mears said: “I want to thank Alan for all his hard work over the years and wish him well for the future. I hope he will continue to make a positive contribution to the city.” There have been rumours of a rift between Mr McCarthy and the Conservative administration which has ruled the council since 2007. Gill Mitchell, leader of the Labour opposition group, said: “Alan McCarthy is a very well respected chief executive who is held in high regard by other city leaders who will be shocked at his departure. Alan was committed to his job, a job that meant everything to him. Under his stewardship the council is set to gain Beacon status and he had positioned the city as a place where people wanted to invest, live and visit. Questions must be asked as to exactly what this Conservative administration is doing to lose such an asset.” A new chief executive will be sought and an interim appointment may be made.

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Police appealed for three people who may have seen a murder to get in touch. Stuart Slade was found stabbed in Hampton Place, Brighton on 30 December at 2.30am. Sussex Police want to hear from two women and a man of South East Asian appearance seen heading along Western Road towards Hove. Call 0845 6070999.

Student protest Hundreds of students were involved in a protest against Israel‘s actions in Gaza. The students occupied a lecture theatre at Sussex University’s Falmer campus last week, with up to 20 protesters there at a time. They permitted lectures to take place as normal, giving a short talk before each one. There was also a series of protest meetings. They asked the university to ban all Israeli produce, provide scholarships for students from Gaza and stop funding companies they believe are linked to arms organisations. The university said, along with the Students’ Union, it was listening to the students’ concerns. It said it supported a call for an end to the conflict in Gaza and no students would face disciplinary action provided they abided by university rules.

Centre focus Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on a new, iconic building Brighton’s famous seafront has been popular with visitors for centuries. Now it will feature a new beautifully-designed landmark in the form of a redeveloped Brighton Centre. In tremendous news for the city, the council has agreed with Standard Life to proceed to the next stage of the £400m development. We’re now looking for a lead architect and development team to design a new centre by the end of the year. We want to develop an iconic, stateof-the-art convention centre which will include leisure facilities, a four-star hotel and an extension to Churchill Square shopping centre. It’s an extremely exciting project which will not only create a stunning new focal point on the seafront, but will also create around 1,300 new tourism and retail jobs and inject £3bn into our local economy. The council’s achievement in securing such a big investor as Standard Life is a tremendous vote of confidence in the city’s future. A new Brighton Centre will help power the local economy through the stormy financial climate. It’ll be a big boost to the city’s tourist industry, which provides over 13,000 local jobs, as a world-class conference centre will also help us benefit from the lucrative national and international convention market. Attracting visitors is important to Brighton and Hove and many are drawn here by the charm of our unique, independent shops and retailers. Worryingly, research suggests that these smaller firms as likely to be hit hard by the credit crunch.

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It’s vital that we help them cope with the downturn because our independent retailers are central to the city’s appeal. So the council has recently launched a campaign to help small firms claim tax breaks worth up to £1m. Many small firms are entitled to rate relief – where they pay less business tax than larger companies – however estimates suggest over 1,000 businesses that could qualify are not current claiming. As well as writing and phoning, council officers are going door-to-door in Brighton and Hove’s main shopping areas to help local businesses apply for rate relief. The benefits can be huge – an early campaign success was a local hairdresser, found to be entitled to a massive £5,700. The grateful owner said it could be the difference between staying open or closing for good. I think this is a real triumph, and one which I hope can be repeated across the city so that our independent small businesses emerge from the recession as vibrant and lively as ever.

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12:56 PM

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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills reports on one woman’s successful fight, in memory of her daughter, to change laws on violent imagery Liz Longhurst

Liz’s legacy latest 7

A new law came into force this week that marked the end of a six-year struggle for the mother of a teacher murdered in Brighton. Liz Longhurst launched a crusade against violent pornography on the internet after her 31-year-old daughter Jane was strangled by a man obsessed with fetish sex sites on the internet. Mrs Longhurst lobbied home secretaries, campaigned tirelessly through the media, gathered a 50,000-name petition and, on Monday this week (Jan 26), she saw Section 63 of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008 Jane Longhurst introduced, making possession of extreme images punishable by up Graham Coutts to three years in prison. Mrs Longhurst is pleased with her success, but in an interview with Latest 7, she explained why there were no champagne corks being popped. The 77-year-old said: “This new law might discourage some people from downloading such material but it will not stop it entirely. The issue of pornography on the internet is massive and, I’m afraid, this new law only nibbles at the surface.” Mrs Longhurst began her quest after her daughter was strangled by Graham Coutts, 40, who lured her to his flat in Waterloo Street, Hove, in 2003. He was first found guilty of murder in 2004 and again in 2007 after a retrial, and he is now serving a life sentence of at least 26 years. During the trials the court heard how Coutts had downloaded thousands of images of violent sex. Mrs Longhurst said she never set out wanting to outlaw pornography: “I am not a censorship person and I understand people’s tastes differ greatly, but I felt it was wrong people could download extreme sexual violence. “In this case, the pictures gave permission to Coutts to do what he did and it normalised his fetish. It blunts sensitivity and, in my view, it is really dangerous. Thank God there are very few people around like Coutts. “The danger with easy access on the internet is that someone can start off viewing material that is comparatively mild but then be drawn further in


“I’m not a censorship person but I felt it was wrong people could download [images of] extreme sexual violence” to the more extreme sites. Coutts is someone who has been very seriously affected by what he has seen on the internet and I don’t think he should ever be released, for the protection of himself and the public.” The new law has drawn criticism from groups who believe it could outlaw possession of images of consenting adults taking part in violent role play. Some have vowed to help fight cases in the courts. But, in the main, the new law has been welcomed and is seen as similar to the legislation outlawing the possession of child pornography. Mrs Longhurst, who lives in Reading, said her campaign was successful thanks, in part, to the efforts of Brighton Pavilion MP Dave Lepper and to the hundreds of Brighton people who signed her petition. Mr Lepper said the new law would not bring Jane Longhurst back but it was a fitting tribute to her and to her mother’s campaigning. Many supporters have since written to MPs urging Mrs Longhurst be recommended for an honour from the Queen.

Holidays lift the gloom Holiday bookings in Brighton and Hove are up more than 20 per cent for 2009 compared to last year, mainly due to the weak pound, according to VisitBrighton. And, as tourists flock into the city, thousands of local residents are looking to get away for their relaxing vacations, despite tight budgets. A new survey shows that citizens consider summer hols the biggest single fillip to fight the economic blues. A recent ABTA Holiday Value Report predicts holidays will play a vital role in lifting the economy – with 64 per cent of Brighton residents claiming they provide a huge emotional high. In fact, the results show they rate them twice as highly as pay rises. “Having something to look forward to like a holiday often helps us focus more on current tasks” said psychotherapist and life coach Christine Webber, who developed the study. “Booking a holiday gives us an emotional lift that

we’ve called ‘sunticipation’. It’s a feeling that lasts from the moment a holiday is booked to the first ray of sun on your face. Crucially, ‘sunticipation’ will help us all put up with the woes of winter and enable us to work harder at our jobs because we have the promise of sunshine and relaxation to come. “Holidays are not just about the two weeks away. The feelgood impact is felt from the moment you start to pick a destination and, in these troubled times, the whole process offers welcome relief from the gloom,”she continued. “The nation is suffering from collective stress at the moment. January is a particularly depressing month at the best of times and holidays are one way of keeping the UK on an even keel. Everyone has to think long and hard about what they spend, but holidays are still firmly in the family budget.”

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 Send your comments to

Freedom of speech Dear Dani, Truth hurts doesn’t it? That explains why people get so defensive over your comments regarding single parents. I‘m not saying that it is possible for all single parents to return to work, but so many provisions are made for those who want to. From flexible working hours to free childcare, the vast majority of those who don’t return to work simply don’t have a good excuse not to. I have a seven-year-old daughter and joint custody. While she is with either of her parents life goes on. It does not grind to a halt simply because she is with me, and I still work each day like the last. Sure, I have to think ahead, plan things a little better, but I think being a positive role model to our children is in showing them that you can have a career as well as being a good parent. As for Mr Stapleton’s attack on your character, which he probably thought was so clever and quick-witted but actually possessed all the excitement of post-neoclassical endogenous growth theory, he didn’t sight any specific disagreements with your comments but instead chose to stop short of only labelling you a fascist. People like him enjoy making good people like you feel bad, it’s the only way they have to themselves feel better for having what is probably a very unfulfilling life. Never apologise for your opinion, it is but that, only an opinion. And last time I checked we were all entitled to one of those. Regards, Andi

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Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker

(Once in a) blue moon As the money men at City show their hand, Joe Curtin considers if they can buy success When Manchester City were taken over by Sheikh Mansour and the Abu Dhabi United Group, and were newly crowned as the richest club in the world, doubts were raised as to whether you can buy instant success. Chelsea have yet to win the European Champions League and the ageing Galacticos’ policy of Real Madrid brought them nothing for three seasons after internal politicking brought about the sacking of manager Vicente Del Bosque. Can Mark Hughes control the inevitable clash of players’ egos such financial clout brings? Or will all this cash bring dressing room disharmony and ignominious failure? Already the new Brazilians are struggling to adapt and Robinho has even gone AWOL. It appears that City fans can rest assured for, at the time of writing, their club has secured the signing of the mercurial talent to unite the dressing room and be the catalyst for success. Yes, Craig Bellamy is to pull on the sky-blue jersey. Such a move seems as logical a decision to bring about team harmony as to make Tony Blair a Middle East peace envoy. Oh dear…

“Such a move seems as logical a decision to bring about team harmony as to make Tony Blair a Middle East peace envoy. Oh dear…“ Sarcasm aside, Bellamy is a talented striker, albeit one who has fallen out with players and staff and many of the clubs he had played for. Terry McDermott said he was hated at Newcastle; there is the infamous John Arne Riise team bonding session fallout; and he treated West Ham with contempt. Still, Sparky is a strong, respected manager and if he can tame Bellamy’s excesses and avoid taking the squad golfing, Bellamy may prove to be an asset to City. And like Kaka, the one who got away, he has done a lot of work and given a lot of his own money to Kaka charity (in Sierra Leone), so City fans shouldn’t be too upset. A lot is coming out already and there is a lot more to come in the Kaka transfer debacle. Kaka is and, it seems, should be commended for saying there is more to life than money – although most of us would say that on his wages – but whether it’s Milan propaganda that he only considered joining City so he could give more to his church charity in Brazil, he does give a considerable amount to it. It’s nice to know not all footballers are self-obsessed prima donnas. City, although portrayed as the bad guys, are merely guilty of having lots of money and wanting to use it to become successful. It looks as though Berlusconi (quelle surprise) and Kaka’s father and chief advisor Bosco Liete are the ones guilty of greed and machinating here. Never mind, City fans: you’ve still got loads of money and, four points from the relegation zone in this interestingly Championship-tight top flight, you should stay up. The dream goes on. *************************

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 16 latest 7

Congratulations to Brighton’s own John Hathaway whose Ultimate Fighting Championship star continues in the ascendancy. Hathaway, 21, of the ZT Fight Skool stable in Hove, defeated Ireland’s Tom Egan at the O2 Arena, Dublin, in the fifth minute of Round One at UFC 93. This sees him still unbeaten and brings his UFC – the world pinnacle of mixed martial arts fighting – career tally to 11-0. Go on, John – Brighton taking on the world.

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Photo: Filipe Fortes

The Starbucks saga continues! The city council served an enforcement notice requiring the coffee chain to take out the tables and chairs from their premises in St James’s Street, Brighton and operate as a shop to comply with their permitted permission of (A1) use. Starbucks predictably has appealed the notice. Demos are still happening weekly on Saturdays outside the neon front of Starbucks on St James’s Street from noon to 2pm. On 7 February, Green MEP Caroline Lucas will be showing her support of the campaign and sharing her wise words on the impact of Starbucks: the homogenisation of the high street, profits not staying in the community; and why it really is just so important to protect independent, local traders and the unique character of our lovely city. Please come and join us to show your support. Monica, Brighton

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Spread your wings If you want great food and a relaxed atmosphere head on down to the Birdcage Walk Is it cafe? Is it a bar? Is it a restaurant? Well Birdcage Walk in Fiveways is in many ways all of these things. Fiveways has seen a remarkable renaissance over the last few years and remains one of the city’s most popular shopping villages with a good balance of traditional local shops and newer boutiques. The area is hugely popular with families with school age children and it’s not unusual to see fleets of modern mums busily ferrying the kids to the local schools that have such a strong reputation. Birdcage Walk’s owners Richard and Christian have cleverly taken this into account since taking over the venue and the redesign and rebrand certainly reflects the fact that this is one of the city’s most popular family areas. Inside, the interiors have been softened: the look is pretty without being overtly feminine and the walls are papered in pale blue with delicate images of birds and bird cages. There are flowers on the tables, bowls of fruits and flowers on the bar and books on the shelves. Outside, two tiers of tables and chairs face the street and in better weather will get the sun from noon till sunset. The inside is mainly set for dining, but in one corner a leather sofa offers a softer option. What immediately strikes me is the relaxed approach. This is clearly a team who put their customers first, so given that the area has lots of mums, there is space for parking buggies. And there is no pressure to treat Birdcage Walk as a restaurant, the menu includes everything from soft drinks, coffees and teas, to breakfast dishes, light lunches and full blown meals. In many ways it has something of the

“It looks good, feels great and is the sort of place you can relax with friends and family of any age” atmosphere of a classic wine bar where you could eat if you wanted to or simply go in for a coffee, a glass of wine or a chilled beer. Not that I would be able to resist eating, as the menu is packed with delicious dishes that reflect local and seasonal produce. Changing the menu on a monthly basis means that the team can really get to grips with the idea of

seasonality, but the addition of a blackboard with daily special gives the kitchen the added freedom to include extra dishes when something great turns up. I had a starter of pigeon and beetroot salad the first time I went. Chef Poul has been around in Brighton for many years and many of you will remember him from the St James Tavern, where Tuaca first came to light. There he made a memorable chocolate nemesis and I was thrilled to see that he has put it on the menu here, along with a stunning banana strudel with butterscotch sauce. Main courses are equally inventive and go from the light to the seriously robust. Smoked haddock, undyed of course, is topped with Welsh rarebit and served of wilted spinach and carrots, there are homemade soups, pasta dishes and steaks too. The new menu includes pan-fried pollack with a chorizo and white bean cassoulet and roast belly of pork with puy lentils, spinach and creamed potatoes and a whole tranche of wintery puddings. As proprietors Richard and Christian have a vast wealth of experience, from running bars, nightclubs, cafes and pubs for many years. Now they are concentrating their efforts on creating spaces that people can feel comfortable and relaxed in. Birdcage Walk is one of three venues that they now run in the city. In Kemp Town they have taken a ‘back street boozer’ that had lost its way and turned it into one of the areas most stylish bars the Three and Ten. In Montpelier they have taken over The Princess Victoria (now renamed The Florist) and are busy re-establishing it as one of Brighton’s great traditional pubs. They have a policy of making customers comfortable and welcome, keeping prices realistic, selling premium brands and where they sell food making sure that it is good food. They also are proud of the team of staff they have built up and given the happy smiles on their faces and the sense that they are genuinely involved in the running of the venues, this is a policy that is obviously paying off. Birdcage Walk is open seven days a week, from 10am serving coffees and an increasing number of breakfast and brunch dishes right through till late. It looks good, feels great and is quite definitely the sort of place you can relax with friends and family, of any age. It has a very welcome sense of both style and maturity that will appeal to a great many Brightonians who enjoy a night out but cannot face the bustle of the city centre and the problems of parking there. I can’t wait to return, I have the new menu here and have just spotted a dark chocolate tart with a ginger marscapone that simply has to be tried, Birdcage Walk, 300 Ditchling Road, Brighton, BN1 6JG Call 01273 561757

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Duck super Andrew Kay returns to Drakes as it takes control of its own restaurant and finds it a delicious delight…

good and the not so good. It was impressive, as were the wines, but it was a party and I avoid reviewing parties as that experience is so often far from the dining experience that a customer will have. A few weeks later I returned for a quiet lunch there with a business colleague. The menu was small, but with plenty of choices and certainly enough to make it difficult to decide. We started with a small creamy soup of excellent pedigree, velvety in texture and piping hot, it soothed and warmed and prepared us for the food to come. I started with a terrine, impeccably built, yes there is a certain amount of architecture and structural engineering in the making of a good terrine, and served with top class toasted bread and pickle. If I were being peevish I would suggest that the portion was perhaps a little too large. Not that I would ever knock generosity, but I did feel myself over-indulging pretty early on in the game. Ms CtM chose a risotto of wild mushrooms with truffle oil and made light work of it. I thought it not only looked and

Drakes has for several years offered a level of hospitality that has made it one of Brighton’s most sought-after destinations, both as a hotel, bar and restaurant – I have enjoyed the experience of both dining and staying there. Initially the restaurant was run by the team from The Ginger Man. It was an excellent idea, with excellent food and good service. Ben was certainly a chef to watch and I ate some truly epic dishes there under his leadership. But if I were to have one complaint it would be that the writing was not joined up. By that I mean that the journey from booking to dining, from bar to table and from there to the bill was clunky. Two business involved in what should have been one seamless experience.

“The fillets came prettily dressed and surrounded by a handsome sauce speckled with green” Now, in a mutually agreed change, Drakes have taken the running of the restaurant inhouse. For many this will seem like a disaster, but I am happy to report that nothing could be further from the truth. And certainly much of that is to do with Drakes retaining the services of chef Andy who has been working as head chef under Ben McKellar for some time. The change was marked with a delicious launch lunch where Andy served a fabulous tasting menu to an assembled crowd of the great, the

216 Church Road, Hove

01273 770704 01273 722216 Open Monday to Sunday 12–2.30pm and 6–11.30pm

2 Course Meal £9.95*pp Sunday to Thursday (excl. Bank Holiday)

1 Starter (any starter from our menu excluding King prawns)

1 Main Course (any dish from our menu excluding King prawns, duck and fish)

1 Rice or Naan Bread *conditions apply *offer must be mentioned when ordering food *mention this advert to claim your free glass of wine


smelled good but was also exactly the right size. I have suffered from both parsimonious portions of risotto that left me Oliver-like and wanting more, and Brobdingnagian ones that felt like hard labour rather than dinner. Hers was just right, especially as a first course. She progressed to the prettiest of dishes, fillets of sole, and I have to confess that I looked on with envy. Years of dining out have left me wary of sole. Too often it is over priced and understated. By that I mean that it can be a pretty soft option for a chef, buy it, grill it and stick it on a plate. Well there was none of that here and the fillets came prettily dressed and surrounded by a handsome sauce speckled with green. I had been drawn to a dish of lamb and mainly because it came with caper sauce. Creamy caper sauce is the classic accompaniment for mutton, but as mutton is only just seeing a revival, the sauce is seldom seen. Of course the feisty little capers are an excellent foil for the darker tones of the elderly sheep but here the chef had made a delicious version that balanced well with the soft, yielding flesh of a slowly braised hunk of lean lamb shoulder. It was rib sticking stuff, served in elegant but again generous quantities and I was equally enamoured of some perfect creamed potato, carrots and savoy cabbage. A combination of classic qualities that could not be questioned. I did have one beef and that was the dish it was served in, a rather deep bowl or pasta type dish, which I have no issue with, for soups broths and stews but dislike with meats that need to be cut. I feel like my elbows end up by my ears when dealing with this restaurant trend. That said the food more than made up for this and I feel rather mean for even mentioning it now. Too full for puddings really I would happily have had a coffee and left fully satisfied – but a job’s a job. I made pretty light work of a delicious fruit pithivier with yummy custard and ice cream while Ms CtM had the rice pudding. Yes, I know, neither of them light choices for people professing to be full but hey, who cares. We drank modestly, a single glass of sparkling Ridgeview, loyal to the county as ever, and I did go for that essential double espresso before heading out into a wet wintry afternoon. The Restaurant at Drakes is a bold and confident move that does what has been needed for some time and that is a unification of the business so that hotel guests have the benefit of a full restaurant service at all times while we locals can still indulge in food that is maintaining the excellent standards already set. The Restaurant at Drakes, Drakes Boutique Hotel, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton. BN2 1PE. Call 01273 696934.

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RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000

service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321

FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Our January special offer is pay full price for one main course and get the second main course for half price! Available Monday to Thursday (excluding Special Event nights). Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is also available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Children and families always welcome. 119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488,

Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new French patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s Road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart. Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian. For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best

croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.” 48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro

INDIAN Chaula’s

Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders. 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

“The food of India, not just Indian food.” New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes! Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,


The Chilli Pickle

L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic À la Carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like Saucisses de Toulouse, Boeuf Bourguignon and Côte de Bœuf for two. Locally sourced produce include freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive anglo-french farmhouse cheeseboard. There are also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as Raspberry Millefeuille and Crème Brulée. Whether enjoying our south facing sun terrace with the 2 course Express lunch menu, Tuesday-Saturday, 12-5pm at £11.95 or relaxing on a Sunday with our delicious French Sunday roast… this is true entente cordiale. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868,,

The Chilli Pickle is a family run Indian bistro in the famous old lanes serving stunning food. Fronted by Brighton chef Alun Sperring, who has recently returned from Jumeirah in Dubai and has spent the last twenty years learning his trade around the world. The restaurant has a relaxed and informal feel, with an emphasis on authentic Indian and Nepalese dishes using local and organic produce. The daytime menu offers Indian street food, Thalis and Masala Dosa, a selection of beautiful loose teas and cakes and sweetmeats. Dinner is a more refined affair. Feast on a Spiced Tandoor Baked Shoulder of Lamb, Moilly Seafood Pot or Duck Egg Masala to name a few. Paired with a carefully chosen selection of Belgian and micro brewery beers to include original India pale ale. 42 Meeting House Lane, 01273 323824

Sam’s of Brighton

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555,

Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222

CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart

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ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477,

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature set-

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price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

THAI Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand. Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”! 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030,


Moksha Caffe Brighton

Cheer the spirit with a visit to this popular Thai restaurant in the heart of Kemp Town. At Sawadee you can expect a warm welcome and an informal atmosphere in which to enjoy traditional Thai food from an established team. Each dish is freshly made and the menu offers a range of fiery red and green curries, colourful stir fry dishes, and specialities such as local sea bass drenched in a warming ginger and yellow bean sauce. Try large prawns in golden shredded coconut batter or fruity beancurd with pineapple and red tomatoes. You can choose a lovely crisp white or mellow red wine to accompany your Thai meal and there are three different popular Oriental beers on offer. Don’t miss the great value set menus starting at £14.95 for a four-course, authentic Thai meal. Sawadee Thai Restaurant, 87 St James Street, Brighton BN2 1TP, 01273 624233

Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. They have an excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options like pistachio and orange biscotti. Moksha is not your usual high street coffee shop with its spacious interior and the works of local artists. They are child friendly, have disabled access and free WIFI. Free live music or comedy every Saturday night. Their opening hours are Mon–Fri 8am–7pm, Sat 8am–10pm, Sun 10am–6pm. Located opposite St Peters Church and only a stone’s throw away from Brighton Station. Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890,

COFFEE SHOPS Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries. A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax. Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. Mon-Fri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. To book your private party, reserve your guest list or to run through some ideas contact: Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059,



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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on

27 January – 2 February

Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at Wide Eyed Order It may be a Tuesday in mid-January and it may be darn cold, but that's not going to stop newish Brighton band Wide Eyed Order from warming the hearts of all who witnessed their joyous set, alongside the excellent funk band Malarki. WEO are a nine-piece made up of acoustic guitars, percussion, flute, trumpet, bass and drums, and two distinct lead vocalists who swap lead duties but who also enjoy the harmony backup of much of the rest of the band. Fusing a blend of upbeat acoustic roots, folks and blues with occasional flourishes of ska, eastern European rhythms and mariachi, the band look like they might keel over with the unwieldy nature of it all, but their dynamic and melody-infused songs never stray far from the point nor get lost in self-indulgence. It was quite an, er, eye-opener, and hopefully many others will get to witness this very promising band in the near future. Latest Music Bar, 13 January ✌✌✌✌

dependable deft comic touch of Simon Evans, with an unorthodox format alternating all the way through the evening. Compere Paul Wilson was more character act than compere, with some mixed ideas that worked well in patches but were spread thin in other parts. James Acaster kicked off with a likeable set, with Lee Hume and Rich Perry clocking up some bankable laughs. Jim Holland introduced some successful new material and Stephen Nelson delivered fine gags that needed a little more contact with the audience to reach Simon Evans

Julie Andrews

Laugh Your Bits Off This new Hove comedy night had some cracking emerging comics, topped off with the ever-

their full potential. Worth watching the development of this night. Brunswick, 14 January ✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

Animal Collective Baltimore’s Animal Collective are a quirky prospect either brilliantly eccentric or pretentious. This Brighton show was equally divisive. Forging a psychedelic electronic sound not dissimilar to the great Holy F*ck, AC stretched formerly short and sweet anti-folk numbers to epic, innovative dance tracks. This worked well in creating a thoroughly unique, at times compelling. Where they failed was in less inspiring moments between cataclysmic, ecstatic highpoints, alienating a crowd eager to dance with slow-burn glitchey noodling. Frustrating (but then again, AC regularly are) hints at greatness were left brief and wasted. A sensual encounter seemingly going nowhere fast. Concorde, 15 January ✌✌✌ Nick Aldwinckle

HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Cabaret Seeing the film is not seeing the musical, and yet most people come to theatre expecting just that. Cabaret on stage is bleaker, darker and far more affecting and this production had plenty to recommend it with great staging, set and company. But the principals have to face the comparisons. Samantha Banks as Sally Bowles does a good job of ridding the image of Liza Minelli, and although her acting is a little gauche she has a superb voice and perfect diction. Wayne Sleep however makes you cry for Joel Gray with a hammy portrayal of the Emcee and far too many references to his own persona.

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In contrast Jenny Logan as Fraulein Schneider is stunning and for me the star of the show. Despite misgivings the stage version still knocks spots off the film. Theatre Royal Brighton, 13 January ✌✌✌✌

Lives Less Photographed This exhibition of pictures, taken during the three eras of mass slum clearance in the city, make a fascinating snapshot of prewar Brighton.The beauty of them is in the insight it gives into working class lives, which in this era were so rarely recorded as photographic equipment was well out of working class financial reach. Though the majority of these pictures were taken as a technical document to record why the slums were being cleared, the men behind these cameras saw the beauty and humility in the slums and have delivered up many beautiful compositions. Well worth seeing. Brighton Art Gallery and Museum, Until 26 April ✌✌✌✌

Andrew Kay

Alison Swann

22 Film A look ahead to SEE Festival; local listings

25 Stage Schools get Fit; listings

26 Comedy Variety to make you giggle; listings

26 Art Marking Brighton’s art history; listings

28 Music News, gigs and previews; listings

31 Clubs Seven nights of clubbing

32 Gay DVD appeal; choir and BLAGSS success; listings

36 Television Dani on Celebrity BB; seven days of listings

 For complete and comprehensive listings go to latest 7 21



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0871 224 4007 Tuesday 27 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 12.00 BRIDE WARS (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 5.00 DEFIANCE (15) 12.00 DOUBT (15) 8.00 FROST/NIXON (15) 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 MILK (15) 2.40, 5.30, 8.15 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 7.10, 9.30 ROLE MODELS (15) 12.15 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 2.00, 5.00 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE READER (15) 12.30 THE WRESTLER (15) 3.00, 5.30 TWILIGHT (12A) 1.30 UNDERWORLD 3: RISE OF THE LYCANS (18) 4.00, 8.45, 9.15 VALKYRIE (12A) 12.15, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45

Wednesday 28 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 12.00 BRIDE WARS (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 5.00 DEFIANCE (15) 12.00 FROST/NIXON (15) 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 MILK (15) 2.40, 5.30, 8.15 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 7.10, 9.30 ROLE MODELS (15) 12.15 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 2.00, 5.00, 7.45 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE READER (15) 12.30

THE WRESTLER (15) 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 TWILIGHT (12A) 1.30 UNDERWORLD 3: RISE OF THE LYCANS (18) 4.00, 8.45, 9.15 VALKYRIE (12A) 12.15, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45

Thursday 29 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 12.00 BRIDE WARS (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 5.00 DEFIANCE (15) 12.00 FROST/NIXON (15) 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (12A) 10.30 MILK (15) 2.40, 5.30, 8.15 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 7.10, 9.30 ROLE MODELS (15) 12.15 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 2.00, 5.00, 7.45 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE READER (15) 12.30 THE WRESTLER (15) 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 TWILIGHT (12A) 1.30 UNDERWORLD 3: RISE OF THE LYCANS (18) 4.00, 8.45, 9.15

Films showing Friday 30–Monday 2 PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA

01273 626261 Tuesday 27

Thursday 29

WHERE’S SPOT 11.00am MILK (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.45, 9.15

MILK (15) 1.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.45

Wednesday 28

THE HOST (15) 11.00pm

BLINDNESS (18) 11.00am MILK (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.45, 9.15

Saturday 31

Friday 30


0871 200 2000 Tuesday 27 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 4.20 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D(18) 1.40, 4.10, 9.20 ROLE MODELS (15) 1.30, 9.40 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 12.30, 3.30, 6.20, 9.10 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 2.30, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50 THE READER (15) 6.50 FROST/NIXON (15) 11.40, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 MILK (15) 11.50, 2.45, 5.40, 8.40 UNDERWORLD 3: RISE OF THE LYCONS(18) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 VALKYRIE (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50

Wednesday 28 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 4.20 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D(18) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.20 ROLE MODELS (15) 1.30, 9.40 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 12.30, 3.30, 6.20, 9.10 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 2.30, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50

THE READER (15) 6.50 FROST/NIXON (15) 11.40, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 MILK (15) 11.50, 2.45, 5.40, 8.40 UNDERWORLD 3: RISE OF THE LYCONS(18) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 VALKYRIE (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50

Thursday 29 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 4.20 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D(18) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.20 ROLE MODELS (15) 1.30, 9.40 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 12.30, 3.30, 6.20, 9.10 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 2.30, 3.20, 6.00, 8.50 THE READER (15) 6.50 FROST/NIXON (15) 11.40, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 MILK (15) 11.50, 2.45, 5.40, 8.40 UNDERWORLD 3: RISE OF THE LYCONS(18) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 VALKYRIE (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50

Films showing Friday 30–Monday 2


lowdown What’s on this week

Frost/Nixon (15)

Role Models (15)

Dir: Ron Howard Based around British journalist David Frost’s infamous 1977 interview with disgraced former President Richard Nixon, Michael Sheen, an actor with a gift for impersonation (having played both Tony Blair and Kenneth Williams) portrays Frost as a mixture of showman and crusader for the truth. Frank Langella, as his adversary Nixon, recounts his side of the Watergate affair as this riveting battle of wills unfolds. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon.

Dir: Stephen Daldry Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott play a pair of immature, boorish salesmen forced to act as positive role models for a group of delinquent teenagers. Superbad’s McLovin’, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, co-stars as one of the unfortunate kids in this undemanding comedy. Showing at Cineworld & Odeon

Milk (15) Dir: Gus Van Sant That perennial indie hero with a penchant for dabbling in mainstream cinema, Gus Van Sant returns with this true-life tale of California's first openly homosexual elected official, gay rights campaigner Harvey Milk. Played with usual method gusto by Sean Penn, Milk fell victim to an assassin, Dan White (the ever-reliable Josh Brolin) and was an inspiration to many San Francisco residents. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Duke of York's.

My Bloody Valentine 3D (18)

Dir: Patrick Lussier The survivor of a Valentine’s Day massacre returns to his hometown ten years later only to find history repeats itself as the killings begin again. Until James Cameron's long-awaited comeback, the fully 3D Avatar next year, it looks likely there'll be a fair few lesser stabs (excuse the pun) like this at the 3D movie experience. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Valkyrie (12A) Dir: Bryan Singer X Men director Singer reunites with his Usual Suspects writer Christopher McQuarrie for this long delayed World War II thriller. Tom Cruise plays the leader of a group of rebel Nazi officers who put together a plot to assassinate Hitler. A strong cast of thesps including Bill Nighy, Terence Stamp and Tom Wilkinson put on their best German accents as Tom Cruise sounds like any other Cruise role (American). Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

The Reader (15) Dir: Stephen Daldry Kate Winslet finally got a major awards nod when she blubbed her heart out accepting the Best Supporting Actress Golden Globe. Based on the acclaimed novel, Ralph Fiennes plays a law student who encounters his former lover defending herself at a post-World War II war crimes trial. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing

Seven Pounds (12A) Dir: David Wain Officially Hollywood’s biggest name, Will Smith plays an IRS man with a dark secret who decides to repent his sins by helping out seven total strangers. Rosario Dawson and Woody Harrelson provide strong support on the way, but throughout, this looks to be Smith’s film. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Slumdog Millionaire (15) Dir: Danny Boyle Dev Patel stars as Jamal, an eighteen year old boy taking part in the Indian equivalent to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Critics are calling this Boyle’s masterpiece, with it tipped for Oscar glory in February after its Golden Globes success. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld & Worthing

The Wrestler (15) Dir: Darren Aaronofsky Mickey Rourke plays an ageing wrestler struggling to make ends meet as he meets ageing stripper Marisa Tomei. Rourke went into full-on method mode to prepare for this role; he was rewarded with the Best Actor gong at the Golden Globes, always a strong indicator for Oscar success. Showing at Odeon Nick Aldwinckle


01903 206206 Tues 27–Thu 29

Fri 30–Mon 2

DEFIANCE (15) 8.00, 2.00 Wed THE READER (15) 2.30 (Tue & Thurs) 5.30 Wed

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 5.00, 8.00, plus 2.00 Sun, (8pm only – Mon 2)

Sat 31 Jan

Mon 2

Wall-e (U) 10.15am

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Alex James: The Cocaine Diaries

Despite being a new festival, SEE has quickly gained a reputation in the documentary world and some of the UK‘s most respected filmmakers have agreed to show their work and give seminars. Major documentary organisations like BBC Storyville, Channel 4’s First Cut and Current TV are involved. Festival founder David Norman-Watt explained why the festival was so important to the area. He said: “There is a thriving documentary filmmaking community here and we need to show people what we are doing. “SEE aspires to create an informal space where filmmakers, producers, commissioners, writers, directors and film aficionados can watch films together, discuss their work, network and listen to talks.”

What’s on

One to watch Ralph Miller looks ahead to SEE Festival, Brighton’s showcase of the best in local and national documentary making talent Brighton’s SEE documentary festival returns this February. SEE is the only festival in Sussex dedicated to factual filmmaking and showcases internationally recognised documentary makers’ films as well as emerging local talent. The weekend-long event comprises of workshops, Q&A sessions with top industry professionals and screenings of a diverse mix of documentary films. Established by Brighton-based documentary maker and director, David Norman-Watt, SEE festival has been running since 2005.

This year’s festival looks to be an eclectic one, with films about cocaine in Colombia and Iraqis detained without trial, shown alongside more lighthearted viewing like Nana’s Cruise, which follows actress Liz Smith (The Royle Family and The Vicar of Dibley) on her first foreign cruise. The festival also aims to encourage and support new local talent and, in addition to showing a selection of local students’ films, it offers sessions on funding and distribution and workshops giving advice on the film industry. Nana’s Cruise

David Notman-Watt: Alex James: The Cocaine Diaries A film by the SEE festival’s award-winning founder. Blur bassist and writer Alex James visited Colombia to investigate how the South American nation’s booming drugs industry is impacting upon the country and its people. Sat 21 Feb, 9pm, 75mins. Followed by a Q&A with the director. Jerry Rothwell: Heavy Load This documentary follows Lewes punk band Heavy Load, which has some musicians with learning disabilities, as they try to escape disability club nights into the mainstream. Sun 22 Feb 8.30pm, 106mins. Followed by a Q&A with the director.

Here’s Johnny

Daisy Asquith: Daisy’s Double Bill: Clowns & Premiere of Nana’s Cruise Royal Television Society award-winning Daisy Asquith will showcase two films. Clowns examines the curious and often disturbing world of the clown. Nana’s Cruise follows Asquith’s journey with actress Liz Smith on a cruise. This is the premiere of the film to be shown on BBC Four later this year. Sat 21 Feb, 6.15pm, 150mins Joshua Dugdale: The Unwinking Gaze The result of 18 months unrestricted access to the Dalai Lama. Dugdale’s film offers a close profile of the exiled leader of Tibet as he attempts to negotiate a political settlement with China and considers his successor. Sun 22 Feb, 2.15pm, 75mins.

COMPETITION Latest 7 has two pairs of tickets to the SEE Festival launch event to give away. Attend the screening of Three Miles North of Molkom, a film about the No Mind Festival in Sweden, followed by a Q&A with codirectors Robert Cannan and Corinna Villari-McFarlane. The

winners will be welcome at the invite-only drinks reception afterwards. The launch event takes place Friday 20 February at 6pm (doors 5.45pm) at the Odeon, Brighton, in association with BAFTA and Screen South. To enter, simply answer this question: In what country is the

No Mind Festival held? Email your answer to with ‘SEE Festival’ in the subject box, or write to us at the front of the magazine. Entrants must be over 18. ID may be required on the door. Closing date: Monday 16 February.

Katrina Mansoor, Adam Lavis and William Hood: Here’s Johnny Double Grierson award-winning Here’s Johnny is about graphic artist Johnny Hinkleton’s battle with multiple sclerosis. Housebound Brighton resident Hickleton escapes the confines of his front room through his drawings. Sun 22 Feb, 4.30pm, 72mins. SEE festival takes place on Saturday 21 and Sunday 22 February at the Umi Hotel, 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA. For more information visit For tickets call 01273 709709 or visit latest 7 23


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Fit for purpose Andrew Kay catches an exceptional piece of Theatre In Education aimed at dispelling homophobic bullying in schools It should come as no surprise that I am a gay man. I have been out for the best part of 35 years, apart from a short period at art school when I retired to the closet, yes I was surprised at that too. I was bullied at school for being queer. It took the form of taunting, name calling, and on occasions physical violence. It was done by a broad spectrum of boys, some thugs, some simply thick and some bright but frightened of the thugs. Amazingly it was also perpetrated by other boys who were queer. That wasn’t a guess on my part but actual knowledge. I was lucky, at six foot two I was a harder target than the smaller ‘sissy boys’. I was also lucky to be at a boys‘ school with a headmaster who was not only aware of what was going on but remarkably supportive. Other members of staff were less helpful, such is the tyranny of homophobia. FIT is a piece of drama that pulls no punches in its portrayal of homophobic bullying. Written for kids of 11 and above, I saw it in an audience of adults, mainly sympathetic to the message. Writer, creator The Education for All campaign is supported by celebrities including Gok Wan

Tuesday 27 January to Monday 23 February 01273 709709 To Break a Man One-woman show about a man’s choice. • 28 Jan, 7.30pm, £7.50/5 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Bach Suite No.2 in B minor. • 8 Feb, 2.45pm, £8–£30 Henri Oguike Dance Company Ensemble piece set to the rhythms of René Aubry's music. • 10 Feb, 8pm, £15/12.50/10 The Lighthouse Keeper’s Lunch Ages 3–7: Puppets, music, sounds of the sea, and stories. • 16 Feb, 1.30pm & 3.30pm, £7/£5 Sinderfella Brighton’s alternative adult panto returns for its 7th year. • 19 Feb–1 Mar, 5pm & 8pm (no show 23 Feb, no 5pm show 19 & 25 Feb) £16 Strictly Strauss – The Johann Strauss Gala Journey back to 19th century Vienna. • 19 Feb, 7.30pm, £10–£27.50

The Capitol, Horsham 01403 750220

“I was moved by the method of changing young minds. Not telling them homophobia is wrong but by making them work that out for themselves” Stonewall, the gay rights lobbying group that has for so long been actively working to change the status of gay men, lesbians and bisexual people, is behind this performance and behind the whole project – as are a whole raft of other supporting bodies. But Rikki Beadle-Blair has a greater vision for this work, to produce a film version that will be freely available nationwide. He jokingly suggested that it might be a free giveaway in a tabloid paper and personally I think that that is a great idea. The cast stayed in character for the play and also the first part of the Q&A, a remarkable feat when required to answer difficult questions, and it is this part of the performance that has most value. So any film version will need to be developed to encompass the power of this section of the show. If anyone can pull that off the silver-tongued Mr Beadle-Blair can. I hope that the necessary funding is found – and fast so that his vision of a bully free world can be achieved, at least in part. For more information go to,,


and performer Rikki BeadleBlair therefore had to lead us through the second part of the performance in which school kids are drawn into a debate about the subject. And this he does with amazing dexterity and skill. The play is well formed, entertaining and provocative, better by far than half the commercial theatre I get to see. My only quibble was the street voices of the characters, which I found hard to follow. But despite that I was gripped and moved by the quality of the talent, the writing and the accessibility of the performance. I was equally moved by the method of changing young minds. Not by telling them that homophobia is wrong but by making them work that out for themselves.

A Dolls House Ibsen’s popular tale set in the 50s, when women were expected to be women. • 10–14 Feb, please call venue for times.£8

Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 How long is a Piece of String? Ages 2–6. Interactive show combining live music & visuals. • 28–31 Jan, £10/8/7.50 SOLD OUT Guys and Dolls 1950s New York – a smalltime hustler dodges saying ‘I Do.’ • 2–7 Feb, 7.15pm plus 2.15pm Wed. £15/13.50 Brave New World Opera by children based on Shakespeare’s The Tempest. • 3 Feb, 6.30pm, £6/£5 Everybody Dance Now Modern music from High School Musical to Chicago. • 7 Feb, 6.30pm, £9.50/7.50/5.50

Beke and Eric Boag perform ballroom and Latin. • 29 Jan, 7.30pm, £25–£29.50 Strictly Strauss Be transported to the Viennese ballrooms of the 19th century. • 30 Jan, 7.30pm, £20–£26 Verdi Aida Tragic love story of Ethiopian slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radames. • 2 Feb, 7.30pm, £18–£30 Puccini Turandot Opera of a cold-hearted princes and the man who can melt her heart. • 3 Feb, 7.30pm, £18–£30 London Philharmonic Orchestra Rachmaninov’s Second Piano Concerto. • 8 Feb, 3pm, £12–£24

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 Oliver Twist 09 The classic tale, portraying the Victorian underworld. Ages 8+. • 17 Feb, contact venue for show times/£ La Ronde Play charting the love lives of interrelated characters. Adult themes/scenes. • 18 Feb, contact venue for show times/£ Where’s My Desi Soulmate? Humorous insight into the lives of British Asian singletons. • 21 Feb, contact venue for show times/£

Theatre Royal Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 Anton & Erin – Cheek to Cheek Anton du

08700 606650 Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat Andrew Lloyd Webber’s famous

musical retelling the biblical story of Joseph. • 27 Jan–1 Feb, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Wed & Thu, 5pm Fri–Sun, 2pm Sat & Sun & 8pm Sat. £12–£25 4 Poofs and a Piano eclectic mix of song and dance, from jaunty re-workings of classic covers • 8 Feb, 7.30pm, £15.50 Totally Looped Hilarious improv show where You Tube meets Mock the Week. • 12 Feb, 7.30pm, £tbc Swan Lake Performed by the Russian State Ballet and Orchestra of Siberia. • 13–14 Feb, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £tbc Little Shop of Horrors Affectionate spoof of 1950s sci-fi movies starring Clare Buckfield. • 16–21 Feb, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm 19 & 21 Feb. £tbc

Worthing: Assembly Hall Theatre 01093 206206 Worthing Philharmonic Orchestra Diamond Jubilee celebration of the Worthing orchestra. • 7 Feb, 7.30pm, £8–£15

Worthing: Connaught Theatre 01093 206206 Strictly Murder Ian Dickens Productions’ new adaptation of Brian Clemens’ play. • 10–14 Feb, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22

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A laughing matter Victoria Nangle says variety is indeed the spice of life – and the best way to find a good laugh There are a many ways to make someone laugh – not even including telling your grandma you want to be treated like a grown-up in your thirties. However, there are only a few formats for delivering this funny to the general public from a stage. In the same way that many say there are only five true stories and that all the others are simply re-interpretations, there aren’t that many ways of setting up a comedy night. But imaginative minds are working on this. The first and most well-known of these formats is a compere, two support acts and a headliner. Generally with an interval between each act. This is used up and down the country and across the globe. It’s where most professional comics live, and the only place up from here is playing solo theatre shows and moving to Hollywood to sell your bicycle and learn how to ride your soul. Or something like that. The second is the new act night. Generally this is made up of anywhere between half a dozen and 30 acts each doing somewhere between five and fifteen minutes of material, guided by a compere. I describe it in such loose terms because it entirely depends on how organised the booker is. There is one London booker who regularly overbooks the number of acts he can feasibly fit on in one night and then blames them all for turning up and taking advantage of his soft heart, omitting the fact that he booked them all readily by email.

“Like most creative fields in this Bohemian part, if you want to keep doing it you’ve got to be good“ Luckily for us, the Brighton and East Sussex new act circuit is better organised, with many nights out there allowing for a cheap local night out, but without so many that any kind of self-quality control can’t be engaged. Like most creative fields in this Bohemian part of the country, if you want to keep doing it you’ve got to be quite good otherwise people are going to wander off and find someone better. Then there’s the Gong Show, usually put on by the larger clubs and allowing new acts with a bit of experience under their belts to see how long they can keep the audience’s attention before they’re boo’d off. It’s brutal, but those who do well can go on to get longer paid slots from those big clubs, raising their profile further. Komedia is currently encouraging a number of new formats. From the helpful leg-up, mixing vetted new acts with a circuit headliner in Comic Boom, to the chance to see new material from some of the most comedy-orientated brains in Old Rope. Plus, the brilliant and quite unique Tag Comedy – bringing the terror back to established acts the like of which they’ve not known since their new act days, and making them sharper with it. Plus other places with storytelling, improvisation and much more. Thank goodness for the creative brain.

Stand-up wisdom: “Middle age: Apparently I can’t pick anything up without going ‘Hup!’” Roger Monkhouse


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Thursday 29

Katy and Rachael Make Stuff Up Award-winning Brighton-based improvisers. They say: “Our new show is just us for an hour with nothing prepared beforehand. We like to call it spontaneous theatre.” Nice. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5

Comic Boom Seann Walsh comperes a quality show, featuring Ginger and Black, and the hottest rising stars of the comedy circuit. Komedia, 7pm, £8.50/6.50

Wednesday 28 Terry Saunders: Sitting on a Rug Wrap yourself in a blanket of mirth as Terry and friends share jokes, anecdotes, and charming comic tales. Featuring Steve Hall from We Are Klang. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5£12.50/10

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➧ For full listings go to

Saturday 31 Laughing Horse New Act Of The Year Heat Local heat for new comedic acts, where the finalists will play at the Edinburgh Festival later this year. The Quadrant, 8:30pm, £5 The People Versus Stand-Up Comedy Too Monthly Comedy Event. Alan Seabrook hosts. Moksha Caffe, 7:30pm, £4

Father Christmas Goes on Holiday, Raymond Briggs, 1975

Art school One thing that Brighton lacks compared to many other cities and towns in England is a long history. Compared to our venerable neighbours Lewes we are but a teenager, growing up fast but still maturing. So, it comes as a surprise to learn that the University of Brighton School of Art of Design is celebrating its 150th anniversary this year. Originally known as the Brighton School of Art, 150 artists and designers will display their work at this commemorative exhibition including such notables as Raymond Briggs, Turner Prize winners Anthony Gormley, Keith Tyson and Rachel Whiteread, illustrators John Vernon Lord and Quentin Blake, and designer George Hardie. Plus there will be host of promotional materials (for The Sex Pistols, Pink Floyd, Muse etc) designed by students of the school. From Art School to University: Art and Design at Brighton 1859 – 2009, University of Brighton Gallery, until 14 March.

Kenneth Tyson

ART LISTINGS Crane Kalman 38 Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Rockarchive Selection of work from the Rockarchive collection, including images by some of the best rock and pop photographers in the business; Jill Furmanovsky, Mick Rock, Kevin Cummins, Storm Thorgerson etc. Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10.30am–4.30pm, until 15 Feb

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Lives Less Photographed: Working Class Life in Brighton, 1860–1935 Exhibition that reveals rare images of local working class life: the people, and the lost areas of Brighton where they lived. Until 26 April 2009 Paintings Unwrapped This exhibition takes 60 paintings and helps you look at them with a fresh eye. Many of them will be on display for the first time in many years and include modern, local, international and historical works. Until 13 April 2009

Tin Drum Sam Hewitt Using an acute awareness of colour relationships, his abstracts are full of personal symbolism, and suggestive of flows from the subconscious to the conscious mind. Dyke Road, Brighton

Anna Platts Illustrative work. Second Avenue, Hove Elaine O’Connell Brighton-based Irish photographer whose spiritual work centres on her travels around the globe including South America and South East Asia. St James’s Street, Brighton Until 30 January, Mon–Wed 10am–11pm, Thurs–Sat 10am–1am, Sun 10am–10.30pm

Permanent Gallery 20 Bedford Place, Brighton 07730 065964 Aya Fukami: Reviving Isolation Returning to the playground of abstraction, Reviving Isolation re-imagines an avantgarde, conjoining geometry with the lightness of touch and humour. Until 8 Feb, Thurs, Fri & Sun 1–6pm, Sat 11am–6pm

University of Brighton Gallery Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 643010 From Art School to University: Art and Design at Brighton 1859-2009 Bringing together work from artists and designers associated with the university, celebrating the founding of the original School of Art 150 years ago. Raymond Briggs, Turner Prize winners Kenneth Tyson, Anthony Gormley and Rachel Whiteread, and illustrators John Vernon Lord and Quentin Blake are just some of those whose work will be exhibited. Until 14 March, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm



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For complete listings go to


Write club Rachel Pegg reviews Living In Perhaps by local author Julia Widdows

Sponsored fish count Brighton Sea Life Centre is raising funds for a new turtle rescue centre by hosting a special day for under-16s on Saturday 31 January. The popular aquarium is offering children free admission into the centre on this date if 20 or more people sponsor them to count as many sea creatures as they can. The child who raises the most money in sponsorship will win a VIP trip for themselves and a parent or guardian to the Greek island of Zakynthos, making a welcome getaway break. Zakynthos is the location of the new rescue facility being built by Earth, Sea and Sky, with over 100,000 euros already raised by sea life centres across Europe. The rescue centre is 80 per cent complete, with more funds needed. Brighton Sea Life Centre curator Alex Gerard and his colleagues hope the sponsored fish count will provide a valuable prelaunch boost to help get the facility finished and fully equipped. If you would like to help, download the sponsor form – which must be authorised by a parent or guardian – from the Sea Life website Raise sponsorship money for free entry into the Sea Life Centre this Saturday 31 January.

Variety Lives! Komedia Brighton has come up with another winner of a show with Variety Lives! launching this Thursday, 29 January. This is a full-scale variety show that includes humour, character comedy, classy music and clever wordplay. The two-hour show features four performers who take the audience on a whirlwind journey through the world of variety. Guests lined up in the coming months include Arthur Smith, Hattie Hayridge, Steve Nallon, Ian Shaw, Barb Jungr and Carrie Quinlan. Variety Lives! at Komedia, Brighton, Thursday 29 January, 8pm, £12.50, tickets available from the box office on 0845 2938480 or online at

Don‘t be fooled by the cover of this book – it might look like one of those harrowing, autobiographical stories of an abusive childhood, but that is completely misleading. In fact, it isn’t an autobiography at all but a commanding debut novel from an astute local writer. Living in Perhaps by Julia Widdows, like a 21st century The Secret Garden, is a tale of a child who finds refuge from the frustrations and boredom of her own life when she discovers a magical land beyond her family’s hedge. Bright Carol is fed up of her home life, with her unimaginative brother, henpecked father and mother who obsesses about what other people might think, while keeping strangers firmly at a distance. “Give some people an inch and they‘ll take a mile,” Carol’s mother tells her. “Hold out the hand of friendship and you never know what you are letting yourself in for.“ Above all, Carol’s parents are deeply suspicious of anyone who doesn’t conform to their regimented standards of living, which means they would never dream of interacting with their bohemian neighbours over the mysterious hedge. Carol secretly befriends the girl next door and, through her family, learns about things her own relatives would never discuss, such as art, literature, sex and how to defy the norm. Living in Perhaps is narrated by an older Carol, who is a patient in a psychiatric unit and who refuses to talk with her therapist about the events that led to her being there. Widdows, who has run groups for recovering addicts and alcoholics using writing as a therapeutic tool, describes life within the unit with sensitivity and intelligence. But the novel isn’t really a book about mental health; its themes reach much wider. It‘s about identity, how we search for ourselves through our experiences of others, how our families shape who we are as adults, and how children are held back by the class system. It is also a coming-of-age tale in which Carol learns that we might start life by thinking we can achieve anything, but the older we get, the less that seems possible. “Suddenly it hits you … You begin to understand that all those wonderful things you were counting on to happen … won‘t happen at all.“ With characters so real you can almost hear and see them, and innocent, vivid narration, this is a rewarding and enchanting read. Julia Widdows will read from Living in Perhaps in Brighton on Thursday 29 January at 6.30. Details below.



Tuesday 27

Thursday 29

Adults Aerial Class – Improvers Rope, trapeze, doubles trapeze and silks for students who have an understanding of how to move around the equipment and a good level of strength. Drop-in session. Hangleton Community Centre, Harmsworth Crescent, Hove, 8–9pm, £8

Sunday 31 Battle of the Bands Unsigned bands compete in the grand final to win this coveted title. All proceeds go to the Mayor's Charity. More info on 01903 537748. Pavilion Theatre Worthing, 7:30pm, £5.50.

Focus on Design: The Jewellery of Adam Paxon Illustrated talk with contemporary jeweller Adam Paxon with the opportunity to handle samples of his work. Hove Museum & Art Gallery, 2:30pm–4pm, £5. Two-Day Stage Combat Workshop with Richard Brighton Learn how to punch, kick, fall and throw safely under the supervision of Richard Brighton. Plus the art of swordplay – a must for amateur or professional actors who fancy themselves as Jack Sparrow or butt-kicking Buffy. Brighton Dome, 10:30am–4pm, £30.

Julia Widdows The Brighton author reads from her debut novel Living In Perhaps. Borders, Churchill Square shopping centre, Brighton, 6:30pm

Buddy Holly’s music. Latest MusicBar, 7pm £7, advance booking recommended.

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Sunday 8 Feb

A Celebration of Buddy Holly’s Final Concert: Not Fade Away reading Marking 50 years to the day, John Gribbin reads highlights from Not Fade Away – the ultimate book on Buddy Holly’s life and music (published by Icon Books, released 3 Feb). Glasson White accompany with excerpts of

A Night of Short Fiction Join Jeff Noon, celebrated writer and author of the cult novels Vurt (winner of the Arthur C Clarke Award) Pollen, Automated Alice and more, as he joins a line-up of five stunning and diverse short-story writers. For more info contact Tara on 01273 233703. Komedia, 8pm, £4.

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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

NEWS Fortune of War Laurence Hill, former music programmer at the Komedia and the Lewes Guitar Festival and Paul Jonas, head honcho of Tru Thoughts Records have taken over the Fortune Of War on Brighton seafront. This historic pub is going to be home to some damn fine music, with guest DJs booked from the Ninja Tune, BBE, Freestyle, Wah Wah, and Tru Thoughts stables, alongside a playlist created by such music brains as Mr Scruff, Massive Attack, Quantic and others. They are hoping to take the pub back to its roots as the only actual pub on the beach – a place for the afternoon reading of the papers, and evenings filled with music. If you want to contact them email

Rockarchive Celebrating their tenth anniversary this year by touring around the globe, Rockarchive stop off at Crane Kalman Brighton. Former Oasis inhouse snapper Jill Furmanovsky founded Rockarchive with a view to presenting a true (and more intimate) portrayal of life in the music business. The Rockarchive collection features the work of over 50 photographers including images by some of the biggest names in music photography; Mick Rock, Storm Thorgerson and Kevin Cummins. Rockarchive is continuing to tour around the world in rock’n’roll fashion including stops in Sydney, Tokyo, Geneva, Prague and New York. Rockarchive, Crane Kalman Brighton, Kensington Gardens, until 15 February. Terry Spencer/

Folk warrior Richard Thompson presents a history of song as part of his latest musical project. Jeff Hemmings spoke to him It seems an unlikely inspiration, but the attempted meeting of minds between folk roots troubadour Richard Thompson and highbrow breast merchant Playboy magazine has directly resulted in Thompson’s latest project, 1,000 Years of Popular Music, which is currently touring the UK. “They asked me to name the best ten songs of the millennium,” explains Thompson, “for Playboy’s millennium issue at the tail-end of ‘99.“ Thompson took to the task literally. “I thought I’d start in AD1000 with a jumpy little number by St. Godric,” laughs Thompson, who spoke to Latest 7 while over in the UK visiting family (he has lived in Los Angeles for the last 15 years, married to an ‘Angelina’). Perhaps unsurprisingly, Playboy magazine declined to print his list but the seed of an idea had been sown and when the Getty Museum in Los Angeles asked Thompson to perform a show, he unearthed his list. “I had to do some research for a lot of the really old music,” says Thompson, “and I always went back to the original manuscript (rather than a recorded version) and brought the songs back to life.” Thompson himself has always been interested in all styles of music, from esoteric folk to full-on rock’n’roll. “My dad listened to a lot of Django Reinhardt, and my older sister was buying rock’n’roll which I listened to through the bedroom wall.” I ask him about his current faves and Thompson earns himself extra brownie points by namechecking The Klaxons, Franz Ferdinand and The Fratellis as acts he rates. And it’s obvious from talking to him and

researching his musical career that it’s his love of a very wide breadth of music, and the fact that he is largely self-taught, thereby creating an original and distinctive style of guitar playing, that has determined his musical voice that incorporates rock, pop, folk, blues, country, classical and much else besides. “I’ve always had this strong need to communicate through music I’m quite driven to write songs and to be creative,” says Thompson who is a prolific writer alongside touring regularly. What next for the great man? “I’m working on a new electric album and a commission for a large peace-song cycle that hopefully will be toured later this year or next.” Thompson will be joined on stage by Judith Owens and Debra Dobkin, and their repertoire will wind its way from the aforementioned St. Godric to quite possibly Britney Spears and ‘Ooops!… I Did It Again’. Sing-a-long is not mandatory! Richard Thompson: 1000 Years of Pop Music, Saturday 31 January, Brighton Dome


Tunng & Tinariwen Collaboration between the British folkpop-rocksters and Tuareg tribes people. Wed 18 March, De La Warr Pavilion

28 latest 7

Sharleen Spiteri 5 February, Dome Keane 10 February, Brighton Centre Mongrel 13 February, Coalition Robyn Hitchcock 16 February, Komedia Bellowhead 16 February, Concorde 2 NME Awards Tour 16 February, Dome Secret Machines 17 February, Concorde 2 Late Of The Pier 18 February, Concorde 2 Black Lips 19 February, Audio Amadou and Mariam 24 Feb, Concorde 2 Candi Staton 25 February, Old Market Acker Bilk 28 February, Old Market Elbow 28 February, Dome The Bluetones 28 February, Concorde 2 Emiliana Torrini 14 March, St Georges Tunng & Tinariwen 18 March, De La Warr

 Lily Allen 20 March, Dome Goldie Lookin’ Chain 23 March, Concorde 2 Hugh Cornwell 25 March, Concorde 2 The Beat 27 March, Concorde 2 Simply Red 31 March, Brighton Centre The Enemy 8 April, Dome The Prodigy 14 April, Brighton Centre David Byrne 14 April, Dome PJ Harvey 15 April, Dome Bat For Lashes 16 April, Corn Exchange Gary Moore 17 April, Dome Australian Pink Floyd 28 April, Brighton Centre Counting Crows 24 May, Brighton Centre Antony & The Johnsons 21 May, Dome Katy Perry 2 June, Dome Jeff Beck 24 June, Dome

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MUSICHIGHLIGHTS Open Mac Night This weekly event always seems to pop up in the highlights of these pages and it’s for a good reason. This is a great idea: take the standard open mic format you can get seemingly anywhere in Brighton and adapt this to electronic music. Participants are encouraged to bring their own laptops and samplers and fiddle about with bleeps and beeps to their heart’s content. Wednesday 28 January, Sidewinder NA Somewhere in the Universe... La Roux The indie/alternative electro club night pulls off something of a coup this week with a duo near the top of every hack’s list of ‘ones to watch for 09’. Think ultra-slick electro-pop with the odd funk groove and you’ll either baulk or lap this up. Still, you won’t be able to see La Roux in venues this small for long. Friday 30 January, New Hero NA Sky Larkin These Leeds new-wave rockers are another one of those new bands being hyped to

The Streets

death at the moment. High energy pop hooks and nicely catchy tunes look certain to guarantee some easy listening success for Sky Larkin. Friday 30 January, Audio NA Marillion Even without former frontman Fish on stage, Marillion stoically fly the flag of progressive rock. With new double album Happiness Is The Road recently released and an impressive back catalogue boasting all the worst (best?) prog indulgences and the odd world-conquering power ballad, the band who took their name from Lord of the Rings precursor The Silmarillion are about as enjoyable as a Tolkien fantasy romp: namely, very. Wednesday 28 January, Concorde 2 NA The Streets Mike Skinner’s been at this for a fair few years now and word is that his next, fifth, album is to be his last. Something of an acquired taste, it remains to be seen whether or not The Streets’ blend of Ben Sherman rap and dance beats is still relevant

to the post-LCD Soundsystem scene. Skinner’s work is never anything less than interesting, though. Wednesday 28 January, Brighton Dome NA

ambassadors, Architects, to take the mantel. Satisfyingly heavy rock, so it’s understandable that they’re making waves around the UK. Saturday 31 January, Concorde 2 NA

The Curst Sons + The Hat + Lisa LindleyJones Take a gallon of The Blues, pour in three quarts of bluegrass, a pinch of Hellfire Gospel and a heap of Old Time and you have some endearing Hillbilly Country fit for any barn (and Concorde 2). They will be tangling with the magnificent songwriting and bohemian vibes of The Hat and the ethereal songstress Lisa Lindley-Jones for a superb Brighton-based triple bill. Thursday 29 January, Concorde 2 JH

Baskery Swedish all-girl roots outfit recently supported Seth Lakeman on tour and with new album Fall Among Thieves are gaining a lot of momentum. Old-time country, raucous roots, three-part harmonies are all performed with loving abandon. Sunday 1 February, Freebutt JH

Citizen Fish Politically and socially conscious outfit made up of many members of The Subhumans, an anarcho-punk band from the ‘80s. Dick Lucas and cohorts are more of a ska-punk proposition these days, still going strong and still railing against injustice. Friday 30 January, Engine Rooms JH

Emmy The Great

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Gallows It seems like only yesterday these Watford hardcore kids were spitting and snarling their way through their breakout Great Escape show in 2007. Now at the top of their game with a massive legion of justifiably loyal followers, this should be one of Brighton’s best shows of the winter months. Monday 2 February, Concorde 2 NA


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Architects + Misery Signals + Textbook Tragedy + Your Demise What with the recent sad demise of Brighton metalcore heroes Johnny Truant, a big hole in Brighton’s rock scene needs to be filled. So, step forward the city’s remaining heavy music

Emmy The Great Emma Lee Ross’ passive aggressive songs have been wooing the media and fans alike, and here she is embarking on her first major headline tour to promote debut album First Love. Self-released, self-funded and self-produced, this is a singular talent full of goodness and greatness… A bit like a less acerbic Bob Dylan. Monday 2 February, Komedia JH

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030_LS408 reviews/chart


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MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases Yes, male journos are suckers for the beautiful and the brave. Which is what Emmy The Great is. Luckily for us, she is also an excellent songwriter; Dylanesque in tone, a little bit folky in style, but completely modern and along with Laura Marling, spearheading the generation of new female singer songwriters that know a thing or two about writing, composition and economy. Factory Records have a four-CD box set available, a real treasure trove of music from the late 70s through to the 90s and featuring the likes of Joy Division, A Certain Ratio, Happy Mondays, Durutti Column, New Order and Cabaret Voltaire as well as a slew of lesser names. The difference between the biggest selling and the not-sowell sellers is obvious, but there’s quality throughout. Factory seemed to have a sound all their own; an inspired fusion of punk, art, industrial and bleakness that echoes the musical hinterland of Manchester. Brighton’s Milk & Honey Band have been around a few years now on the fringes. These aspiring part-timers make sumptuous, psychedelicallyinspired, harmony-rich driving pop mixed with delicate balladry, where REM meets a more melancholy Beatles. They are signed to Andy Partridge’s (ex-XTC) label, Ape, and were recently featured on the covermount of Word magazine. Great band with a bagful of great songs as can be heard on new album Dog Eared Moonlight. Local dance, beats, samples and grooves boy Cakeboy has a new single available via iTunes and other download platforms. ‘Skyrider’ is another excellent tune, easy on the ears, amalgamating butt-shaking bass with house stabs, searing electric guitar and electronic flourishes. As usual there’s more going on in one track than many so-called dance producers can fit into an album. Most importantly, it flows. Great stuff. You could be forgiven for assuming certain things about Portland singer-songwriter M. Ward. He counts amongst his famous fans (and friends) the likes of Bright Eyes and Rilo Kiley's Jenny Lewis. Indeed, he's worked with Conor Oberst on his Monsters of Folk project. Indie cinema starlet Zooey Deschanel recruited him for her musical foray, resulting in the none-more-hip She & Him. You might get the picture: highly polished, vacant-eyed indie rock for the masses. It’s to Ward’s credit, then, that new release Hold Time emerges as an adventurous dabble in decidedly un-hip terrain: catchy pop jaunts, glam-rock influenced singalongs and an endearing directness to his work. Hold Time isn’t as successful as it might have been, though never dips below the ‘entertaining’ gauge. Finally, a quick nod to French-language Nantes vocalist Francoiz Breut. She played at the Duke of York’s last week. On the strength of fourth album, Á L’aveuglette, there really is no excuse for having missed it, even if it did clash with of Montreal! An atmospheric record harking back to the vintage sound of the likes of Jeanne Moreau or Nico, this is a far classier affair than the relative also-rans (Duffy, Adele) currently clogging up the charts. Sultry and sophisticated, Breut dabbles in various genres while striving to make perfect pop.

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To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to Brighton  Latest Download Chart Top 10

★ 1 breakinbear – Breeze ★ 2 Frunt, Bak & Nutz – The Rites Of Wolf 3 Caramel Jack – We Could Build Skyscrapers 4 The Mojo Fins – Always Now 5 Chaos Borne – Watching 6 Thunk – Micromophone 7 Mr resonate – All that i’m not 8 Caramel Jack – Curtain 9 Chaos Borne – The Moment 10 The Winter Club – Mix Tapes That Lucy Made Jaybee is now toppled from the top of the chart as the epic slow-burn rock of breakinbear’s ‘Breeze’ provides a quality number one. Meanwhile big-beat mixers Frunt, Bak & Nutz prove a silly name can go a long way at two. Latest 7 favourites Caramel Jack return to the top five at three, indie rockers The Mojo Fins take number four and the dark dance of Chaos Borne hits five. 11 Glitters From Billy Holiday 12 Mr resonate Say what you mean 13 sMs I have a Dream 14 Mr resonate The opoosite vibe 15 CAKEBOY DAMAGE featuring Frances Law 16 R21 Proved You Wrong 17 The Wasp Factory Postcards 18 This City Romantic 19 Tractor Countdown Control 20 ANEMO Pray (Ropey Remix) 21 jaybee Miles To Go 22 URBAN DELIGHTS Maybe Baby 23 Eminemmylou The Way I Am 24 HEAVYMAN TOMB KREATOR VS. HEAVYMAN 25 No Sharp Objects Home

26 Sweetpeppersoup One decision 27 She Said 200 Years 28 12 Stone Toddler Under the Weather 29 Donna Fullman Stone 30 ANEMO Pray 31 sMs I’m sorry Dave 32 bucket-joy jaded 33 Dubdog KimBlee – Fade 34 PROJECT B SONG 1 35 Jetglo Hush Hush 36 Amongst The Pigeons Deep Housey 37 Stephen Adrian Me and the Birds 38 Indigo Star The Pearl 39 Sam Charles Elara 40 Tom Ayres Confidence Problem

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MUSIC& CLUBLISTINGS 27 Jan – 2 Feb Tuesday 27 Live Music Innerpartysystem Dance-rock from the US, a little like Pendulum. Audio, 7pm, £8 Pine Hill Haints Country rock from good ol’ Alabama. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Shebeats Three-piece female garage-rock-punk pop. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £3. Bars and clubs Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Latin music to get your juices flowing. 10pm–2am, free. Digital Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge We Luv 90s. Classic 90s anthems from Spice Girls to Soul II Soul. 10:30pm, 90p New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! An uncompromising blend of high quality pop culture. 10pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and punk mash-up. 10:30pm–2am, £1–£3 Po Na Na Sweet. Commercial R’n’B, Funky House and Baseline. 10pm–3am, £5/3 Tru Bandwagon. Student night with club anthems, old school R’n’B and classic house. 10pm–2:30am, £1–£3 Water Margin Sessions. Run by students and playing for the students. 11pm–4am, £2/free.

Wednesday 28 Live Music The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Bee’s Mouth, 8:30pm, free The Local Tour: David Thomas Broughton + Sam Amidon + Doveman Collaboration between three acclaimed young folk (and folkrelated) musicians. Komedia, 8pm, £tbc Marillion Gloriously ridiculous veteran progrockers. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £18 Open Mac Night An open mic night for electronic music! Bring your sampler and laptop! Sidewinder, 9pm, free. Open Mic Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free. Tales of the sparkling sea with stars down to the earth + The beautiful word + Broken stars Ethereal guitars, twinkling folk pop and thoughtful indie. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £5/4 The Streets Mike Skinner returns with his white boy rap/dance/kebab shop banter. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £tbc. Video Nasties + Threatmantics + Swanton Bombs Jangly punk and twangy pop. Prince Albert, 8pm, £6.50/5.50 Bars and clubs Arc Life is Easy. A mid-week interlude of indie classic new and old, plus floorfillers a plenty. 10pm, £1/free. Audio Supercharged. A Seamless mix of hip hop, breaks and D’n’B. All hail Krafty Kuts. 11pm–2:30am, £6/4. Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest for All Stars wearing rock/indie fans with live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10:30pm–3:30am, free. Water Margin Forgive Me Father for I Have Synth’d. Old school revival of 80s electro, breakdance, pop and rock. 11pm–3am, £tbc. Genetics Playing a mixture of intelligent, liquid, neuro and darkside D’n’B. 3am–6am, £2/free.

Bars and clubs Audio Shameless Presents Quids In. Trashy pop anthems, indie classics and retro hits plus a hefty raffle prize. 11pm, £1 Brighton Coalition Them. Weekly Dubstep and Grime. 10:30pm-3am, free. Digital Thursday Club. The self-proclaimed vanguard of dub, Iration Steppas tear up Digital. 11pm, £6 Honey Club Contagious. Southern FM’s Paul Hilyer plays house and dance anthems. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1 The Hope Brap FM. Thursdays are the new Fridays with everything from Downtempo to Techno! 8pm–2am, free. Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the 80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2

Friday 30 Live Music Benefit Culture A fundraiser for the Cambodia Trust with music and special guests. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £5 and donations. Bobby Wellins with the Frank Harrison Trio Brighton Jazz Club event. Komedia, 8pm, £8-12 The High Sides Are Here Pop/punk/rock/ska. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free. La Roux Electro singer-songwriter tipped for big things plays a tiny show before her support slot with Lily Allen. New Hero, 8pm, £tbc Linus Twizzle’s Avant-Garden Party Burlesque cabaret from the eccentric and elusive Lord Linus Twizzle. Latest MusicBar, 7:30pm, £7/5 Simon, Sleeze and Geoff Dirty rhythm and blues. The Neptune, 8pm, free. Sky Larkin Indie-pop types tipped by some for big things this year. Audio, 8pm, £tbc. Sound Factory Heat 4 Battle of the bands competition. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Bars and clubs 2 One One Lollipop. R’n’B and Hip Hop. 11pm–3am, free before 11.30pm Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. Sixties Night. 11pm–3am, £3 Brighton Coalition Carnivalesque. Live bands, DJs, performance, costume and festival capers! 8pm-4am, £10/6 Digital Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and bands. 11pm–3am, £4 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative for eyeliner’d up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk It’s Friday. Start the weekend with Sean Quinn’s party tunes. Feel the magic. 10pm–3am, £8/free. Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Honey Club Hed Kandi. The glamour club brand hits Brighton. 10:30pm–3:30am, £10/12 New Hero Somewhere in the Universe… Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3 Ocean Rooms 12FU. Alternative electro dance floor party. 11pm–4am, £5/3 Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem sploshed together with beer, indie

anthems and punk. 10:30pm–3am, £5/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Sidewinder Webb Twisco. Disco, deep house, broken beat & underground soul. 8pm-2am, free. Tru Skint. Playing mainstream funky house, R’n’B and Cheesey disco hits. 10pm–2am, free b4 11/3 after. Volks Erisian & Friends. D’n’B, Techno, Breakcore, Jungle and Rave all nighter with Panacea & Weasel Busters. 11pm–7am, £10-7. Water Margin Twisted Disco Love. TDL productions gives you back the love to funk. 11pm, £tbc. B-Side. Tech and filthy electro with Tiger Lily and Paul My Fingah. 2am, £5

La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house from all over the world. 8pm–4am, free b4 11/6 after. New Hero It Is Still 1985. An alternative 80s night full of outrageous tunes! 10pm, £3 Pavilion Tavern Drop Zone. Dark, Heavy, Glam, Alternative Dance and beer to dribble down you ‘til you drop! 10:30pm–3am, £4/2 Po Na Na Silk. Urban Soul, Electro pop and a mish-mash of bootlegs. 10pm- 3:30am, £8/10 Sidewinder Voytek & Insight. From James Brown to 4hero. 8pm-2am, free. Tru Glitterbaby. Thickly spreading your favourite chart tunes across 3 rooms. 9pm–3am, £10/8. Water Margin Logo. Future heroes to world famous DJs spin house tunes. 3am–8am, £7/5.

Saturday 31

Sunday 1 Feb

Live Music Architects + Misery Signals + Textbook Tragedy + Your Demise With the demise of Johnny Truant, metalcore types Architects take the Brighton mantle. Concorde 2, 7pm, £8 Greymatter Acoustic girl band. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free. Milk and Honey Band + Dates Brighton acoustic rock. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc. Rapunzel Gets Down Women only event with live acts, music and massage. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £5 Richard Thompson: 1000 Years of Popular Music The folk legend performs what the title suggests: music dating from hundreds of years ago through to the present day. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £18–22.50 Sound Factory: Independent Label Scheme Showcase Featuring up and coming Brighton bands. The Providence, 8pm, £1 SoundCirque: Valgeir Sigurdsson + Elizabeth Walling Experimental music from Iceland. West Hill Hall, 7:30pm, £7/6 Supper Club: Soul Reality Psychedelic soul and funk. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £7–10

Live Music Baskery All female Swedish roots trio playing country, rockabilly etc. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £tbc Fred Wesley + Royal Stokes + The Jazz Scene Jazz. The Old Market, 7:30pm, £18 Mike Bones New York singer-songwriter influenced by Dylan.. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc The Porchlight Smokers Country rock. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free. Songwriters’ Sunday Nut Roast Former Squeeze man Chris Difford showcases local singer-songwriter talent. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 7:30pm, £5 Stan Tracey Acclaimed jazz performer. The Brunswick, 8pm, £tbc. Tattoo Convention After Show: Jack Rabbit + Slim Slip and the Sliders After show gig featuring rockabilly acts, DJs & burlesque. Concorde 2, 8pm, free (wristband)/£5 without

Bars and clubs Arc Hold Up. Unpretentious indie night. 10:30pm–4am, £5 Audio SoL’s Winter Sessions. The don of free parties brings some winter love with guests Mouj, Dan Reid and Gary Bennetton. 11pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition Muzika. The launch delivers cutting edge house from Kid Massive and Jamie Green. 11pm-4am, £10/8. Concorde 2 Devotion. Floor to wall bass and jungle with Shy FX. 11pm-4am, £10. Digital Hat Club. Quirky head gear and the best in filthy house from Suzee X and James Fitch. I told you nothing. 11pm-4am, £10. Engine Rooms Brighton Rumble. All the best Rock ‘n’ Roll from the 50’s/60’s, Dress to impress! 11pm, £5. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house with guests. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5 Komedia SDB’s - Strictly Dynamite Boogaloo. Shake your tail feathers to some Latino beats and fiesta forever with Boogaloo Stu and Dynamite Sal. 10:30pm, £6.

Bars and clubs Arc Irie. Ragga, R’n’B, Hip Hop and UK Garage. Sundays are the new Fridays! 10pm–3am, £5/3 Honey Club Sundelicious. Knockin’ siesta Sundays into the past, Lee Garrett and Salerno play house and soulful beats. 10pm–3am, £2/1 The Open House We Change The Frequency. All things diverse from Radiohead, Madlib, National Forest and Playgroup. 8pm, free.

Monday 2 Live Music The Bee’s Mouth Jazz Forum House band welcomes all.Bee’s Mouth, 8:30pm, free. Emmy The Great Quirky london pop singersongwriter. Komedia, 8pm, £tbc. Gallows The hugely enjoyable hardcore punks from Watford return. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £14 Bars and clubs Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. Filthy student fun. 10:30pm–3am, free. Funky Buddha Lounge Urban Lounge. Best in Old skool garage, R’n’B, Hip Hop, Bashment and swing. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with drinks £1.50 all night. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. Cocktail of funk, reggae, indie and pop. 10pm–2:30am, £3/1.

Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Jaime Pettit

Thursday 29 Live Music Artrocker Club Brighton Indie club night with live bands. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5 The Curst Sons + The Hat + Lisa LindleyJones Great Brighton bluegrass band, rap storytellers The Hat and top singer-songwriter Lindley-Jones. Concorde 2, 8pm, £8/7 Drookit Dogs Brighton folk-punks to the rescue. Bee’s Mouth, 9pm, free. ‘Listen and You Shall Hear'- The Life and Work of Lucy Broadwood As told, sung and played by Irene Shettle and Ralph Jordan. Royal Oak (Lewes), 8pm, £5 Open Mic The Hub, Lewes Road, 8:30pm, free. Sound Factory Stripped ‘Stripped down’ bands and singer/songwriters. Hare & Hounds, 8pm, £1

The Curst Sons, Thursday 29

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details

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032_LS408 gay news


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Brighton’s only weekly gay guide NEWS

School drama Stonewall has appealed for financial support to be able to take its awardwinning anti-homophobia drama into every school in the country. The lobbying charity brought FIT to Brighton’s Sallis Benney Theatre recently to garner support for the cause. FIT has already been performed in front of 20,000 children and young people in the UK, including at Varndean School, Brighton. But Stonewall would like to be able to bring it to an even wider audience, which would mean turning the drama into a DVD which could potentially be sent to every school and be shown on TV. It needs £150,000 to make this possible. One 11-year-old who saw FIT at school said: “The play taught me a lesson. If one of my friends was gay I would stick up for them... and you shouldn’t leave them out because you love them as a friend.” When performing at schools, the cast spend time afterwards in character talking to the audience and answering questions, in an open debate fielded by director and writer Rikki Beadle-Blair. Rikki also has some questions of his own for the school pupils. One of the first things he asks is how many people know somebody who is gay. Brighton, he said, was the only place in the country where every member of the audience put their hand up. They then move onto discussing their ideas and preconceptions surrounding sexuality and homophobia. Sometimes the young audiences can be challenging and confrontational, but they are encouraged to be honest about their opinions so the issues can be addressed. The play is acted by Team Angelica, Rikki Beadle-Blair’s 200-strong London-based theatre company, whose members include Menhaj Huda, director of the socially conscious hit movies Kidulthood and Adulthood.

Singing out A choir is looking for new members. Rainbow Chorus, Brighton’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender choir which has been going for more than ten years, wants to hear from people interested in performing this year. From Friday 1 to Monday 4 May the chorus will take part in Various Voices at the Southbank Centre in London. The event, held every four years, celebrates lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender identity through song and showcases the achievements and diversity of LGBT choirs from around the world. Last year was a successful one for the Rainbow Chorus, with performances at Brighton’s Jubilee Library, the opening of the Brighton Fringe Festival and at the International Day Against Homophobia , Biphobia, Interphobia and Transphobia. The chorus also performed as a guest choir during the World Aids Day concert in Brighton. Find out more at The drive to raise money for FIT and Stonewall’s wider Education for All campaign to tackle homophobia in schools are backed by celebrity supporters including actor Richard Wilson. To show your support, log onto Stonewall’s sixth annual 10k Equality Walk will take place in Brighton on Sunday 3 May, setting off from the Pavilion Gardens at 2pm. Registration for the walk is £10. Walkers receive a goody bag and Tshirt and can enjoy entertainment on the day. All walkers need to do is raise more than £10 in sponsorship. There will be prizes for the top fundraising individuals and groups. To register email or call 0207 5932294. Richard Wilson with FIT actor Ludvig Bonin

BLAGSS celebrate Popular sports society BLAGSS, Brighton Lesbian and Gay Sports Society, is celebrating a record membership and the renewal of council funding. Brighton and Hove City Council’s grants to small voluntary organisations fund has agreed to give BLAGSS £3,000 for the second year running. Paul Ellison, new chairman of the sports society, announced the news to members at their winter party recently. He said: “Last year’s grant of the same amount meant that we were able to publicise our activities

32 latest 7

more widely and increase our membership from 388 to 603. “This funding allowed us to pay for professional coaching in a range of sports including tai-chi, tennis, badminton, sailing and beach volleyball and increase the number of sports groups from 18 to 24. Thanks to Brighton and Hove City Council, our members old and new increased their fitness and their sporting expertise. This year we’ll be working with the council to encourage even more people from the local LGBT community to keep fit and healthy.“

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Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 178 ACROSS: 1 Drivers 5 Viper 8 Genetical 9 Tip 10 Taunt 12 Lie down 13 Master 14 Panels 17 Skilled 19 Humid 21 Ail 22 Shimmered 24 Elder 25 Tadpole. DOWN: 1 Digit 2 Inn 3 Entitle 4 Sicily 5 Value 6 Petroleum 7 Repents 11 Unskilled 13 Massage 15 Ashamed 16 Adrift 18 Laser 20 Dodge 23 Rio. Solution to Quick 178 ACROSS: 1 Ancient 5 Breve 8 Barnacles 9 Pit 10 Easel 12 Nominee 13 Growth 14 Praise 17 Ladders 19 Linen 21 Elm 22 Trumpeter 24 Nanny 25 Elevate. DOWN: 1 Amble 2 Car 3 Epaulet 4 Talent 5 Bosom 6 Expansion 7 Extreme 11 Swordsman 13 Galleon 15 Relapse 16 Assume 18 Entry 20 Nurse 23 Tea. © Crossword Shop

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GAYLISTINGS 27 Jan – 2 Feb Tuesday 27 Amsterdam Skint or Mint. Gay Bingo. 8pm. Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity with a range of games. 12pm, free. Ghetto Twisted Karaoke. Nothin’ from your dad’s collection! Hosted by Mistress Cat. 9:30pm, free. Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Free poker night. Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks wristbands for £10 plus a guest DJ and karaoke. A credit crunch gem. 8pm–11pm, free. R-Bar Shoot Me Baby! FREE shot of Corky’s or Sourz with every alcoholic bevvy! 12pm–2am. Revenge Playground. School Disco with a twist. Spinning trax from the 80s, 90s and 00s! 10:30pm–4am, £3 or free NUS/in uniform. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mills’s Music Night. With Uncle Ben’s quiz night from 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free. The Basement Scene Queen. For scene staff and students with DJ lil’ Alex. 11pm–4am, free.

Wednesday 28 Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins, rock, metal and 80s tastic cheese with a sprinkling of goth! 10pm–2am, £2.50. Legends Super Karaoke. New karaoke & quiz night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Bar YouTube Night. 8pm, free. Prince Regent Swimming Pool Out To Swim South. 8:30pm, £4 per session, 20 annual pass. R-Bar Rush99. DJ Lil Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p rush bar! 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Rush150. Dance and house sounds served by DJ Lil Alex plus a rush bar! 10:30pm–3am, free b4 12am/2 after/free NUS. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Bar 12pm–11pm. The Basement Play. With DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am, free.

Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girls’ Night. 2 floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 9pm–2am. Queen’s Arms Stars. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes. 9pm–2am, free. R-Bar The GirlsOnTop Bar. DJ Smiffy brings her best trash, pop and party tunes. 12pm–2am. Revenge Lollipop & Housexual. Top pop tunes from Stewart T. Upstairs find funky vocal house with DJ Hollie and guests. 10:30pm–5am, £7/5. The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket and DJ Alex Baker. 11pm–4am, free all night!

Saturday 31 Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am, free. Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. A blend of Gogo Boys, Feathered Girls, HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Ignition. Dance sounds from 7pm. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Marly DJs. Guest DJs and live music. 9pm–2am, free. Queen’s Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3:30–5:30pm). Then party. Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free. R-Bar Kinky Baby. Dulcie Danger plays to a preclubbing crowd, 9pm. Bar open 12pm–7am, free. Revenge Kinky Dangerous Pirate Party. Join Cp'n Danger, Smiffy the feisty wench and Long John Stewart for some swashbuckling pop tunes. 10:30pm–5am, free–7. Star Inn Bear Essentials. DJ Charlie. Bar open 12pm–1am, free. The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart from DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free all night! The PV at The Jury’s Out Saturday Madness. The best in Brighton duets from 4:30pm, then PV’s house DJs take over! Bar open 12pm, free.

Sunday 1 Feb Thursday 29 Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Cheap as Primark Pants. 8pm–11pm, £1. Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm–3am, £4/3 Ghetto Lucky Dip.... Surprise guest club or one off....who knows... 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Thursday Cabaret Lounge. Glam'n'Glitz grace the stage. 9:30pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Open Mic. 8pm. Queen’s Arms Skint. See Tuesday. R-Bar I Can’t Wait For The Weekend To Begin!. Funked up, soulful and uplifting house from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Girls on Top Pyjama Party. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10:30pm–4am, free. b4 11:30 with passes, £4/5 after. The Basement Box. Chart hit remixes, funky house and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free.

Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. Roasts (12-5:30pm) and Sunday vibes with cabaret from 8pm, free. Charles Street Bar Showtime. Another cabaret superstar takes to the stage. 7:15pm, free. Ghetto Lucky Dip. Special guest club nite or one-off party, who knows. 9pm, free b4 11.

Jo Enright

Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies dished. Bar open 11am. Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop, 10:30pm–3am, £5/4/3 NUS. Ghetto Popstarz. Playin’ indie recent and retro! 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre The Cosmic Cabaret Presents Lilith’s Labyrinth. Music, poetry and performance. 8pm, £5 suggested donation.

Komedia Bent Double. Guaranteed laughs with Janice Phayre, Jo Enright, Isy Suttie and host Zoe Lyons. 7:30pm, doors open 6pm, £10/8. Legends Sunday Cabaret and Chill Out. With Lizzy Drip. 3:15pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Yummy Roasts. Delicious roast and spuds. 12pm. Queen's Arms Cabaret with Candy & Betty's Karaoke. Top cabaret at 5.30pm with the outrageous Candy! Then Betty's Karaoke Show. 12pm, free. The Basement Embrace. Dripping in charty tracks provided by DJ Nick Shepherdson from GA-Y! 11pm-4am, free.

Lilith’s Labyrinth

Monday 2

Friday 30

Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Bar open 11am, free. Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin the best party tracks with mammoth drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50. Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix. 9pm–2am, £tbc. Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. A hysterical night of cabaret, 9:30pm. Bar open 11pm–5am. Marlborough Trans night. R-Bar Miss Jason‘s Mad House. Cabaret plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free. The Basement Back to the 80s and 90s. Nostalgia with Steve Lush. 11pm–4am, free.

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details

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tales of the sparkling sea the stars down to earth + the beautiful word + broken stars a night of ethereal guitars, twinkling folkpop and intricate thoughtful indie 8pm £5

gay tango workshop tango lessons for all! 7.30 £10

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thurs jan 29

artrocker club brighton brighton meets london in a live music meltdown 8pm til 2am £5

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sat march 28 nick harper 7pm & 9.30pm (2 shows) £12/10

tells buddy’s life story 8pm £7 14 – 17 manchester street, brighton check our website bn2 1tf. 100 metres up from the pier for full programme

035_LS408_Health-product shots


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See more health tips at

Loved-up look Zara Baker glams up in winter from top-to-toe There’s just a few weeks until Valentine’s Day. Ladies, if you’re planning on shedding the cardi and woolly hat combo and glamming it up, ease in gently. The gorgeous dresses, sky-heel heels and perfect make-up from Christmas and New Year festivities seem a lifetime ago. The next big calendar event is of course, St Valentine’s. If you’re planning to woo, be wooed or celebrate with singleton friends, mix winter sale bargains with hot new trends for spring and summer. The shops have (mostly all) released their new looks for the hopefully warmer season ahead. But it is still only February, so mixing seasonal trends is required. The classic little black dress (1) is the essential staple – particularly if you don’t want to attract too much attention in a flashy red Valentine’s number. Team the black dress with a red bag and/or shoes for eye-catching style in a subtler way. Don’t forget to make your nails match with a vampy red polish (2). Step out in a pair of shoes (3&4) that won’t make battling with rain or snow a problem, but still have height for that extra sex appeal. Experiment with spring make-up trends (5&6) – corals and shimmering pinks to add warmth to the complexion. Finish off with a perfectly tamed mane against the winter elements with an intensive treatment and balm for tame, shiny locks. (7&8) The perfect Valentine’s look – whatever the 5 Herbal Lipstick in Coral Punch, £.8.75 weather and remember to keep it cosy. available from

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latestTV  Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Celebrity Big Brother I have never been a fan of Big Brother. I previously couldn’t think of anything more boring to do with my time. But this time, I have watched probably far too much. I was surprised to find it was actually funny. The food task the housemates were given on the week Tina was evicted was brilliant. Firstly because Tina and Terry had to wear tutus and perform a ballerina-style dance, Terry seemed to be into doing it, but Tina was clearly confused by the turning platform the dance had to be performed on. Coolio and Tommy had to dress as toy cars and whenever the ‘Car Wash‘ song came on they had to get to the mini car wash within 30 seconds and spend 30 seconds going through it. At first their seriousness was hysterical, along with the continual navigation it took to sit down. Latoya is 52! I was amazed to find that out, I couldn’t care less how much plastic surgery she may have had – she looks amazing. Although she is the least likely celebrity I could ever imagine going into the Big Brother house, I like having her there, she is quiet but I think she adds a little glamour to the house. When the line-up for Big Brother came out, the press were hoping Ulrika would talk about her personal life, while in the house. I thought that was a bit mean, it was obvious they were hoping for another scathing scoop. All I have found, is that I like her. She openly admits that she has four children by four different men, but you can tell she loves them all and really that’s all that matters. I think she has had so much bad press over the years, that it’s about time someone wrote something nice about her. Ben was once in a boy band that I can’t remember, he is a bit dull unless he is dressed as a dragon, but he seems nice. Michelle cries a lot but you can’t help but like her, she always gets the wrong end of the stick or gets stick from Coolio for saying something wrong. Coolio is always finding something annoying or funny. He has been, along with Tommy, a point of friction in the house but it has been funny. Verne dressed as the bear was brilliant. For a majority of the time I was watching worrying about whether it was okay or not to think he looked cute – baby cute – while dressed as a teddy bear. But when he jumped off that stack of toy blocks into the arms of Michelle who spun him around that was it for me, he wasn’t helping the case! At the time of writing, I don’t know who is this year’s winner. I am in two minds, I like Terry, I think he is funny, but I also want Ulrika to win. I think she deserves to win something. But as it is with Big Brother, there is always a chance that things might change.

Films on TV

Top tips for your week of flicks



The Faculty ★★★✩✩ (1998, Sci Fi, 11.50pm. Dir Robert Rodriguez) Ever felt that teachers are out to get you? That they may as well come from another planet? King of splat Rodriguez pulls off the coup of playing on teenage alienation thoroughly with Josh Hartnett and Elijah Wood running scared from the teachers’ lounge.

Planet of the Apes ★★✩✩✩ (2001, Channel 4, 9pm. Dir Tim Burton) Unintentionally hilarious remake of the 1968 classic, following the adventures of a daring astronaut who crash-lands on a planet dominated by intelligent, talking apes. With the help of a chimpanzee activist and a band of rebel humans, he forms a resistance movement to liberate mankind from their simian oppressors.

WEDNESDAY 28 Man On The Moon ★★★★✩ (1999, BBC1, 12.05am. Dir Milos Forman) What happens when Jim Carrey plays it straight? You get a very good biopic of troubled comic Andy Kaufman that no one really got. Kaufman’s comedy was surreal, unusual and nothing like Carrey’s usual brand of slapstick. A sensitively done tale of a troubled man.


SUNDAY 1 The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy ★★★★✩ (2005, BBC2, 10.30pm. Dir Garth Jennings) Arthur Dent escapes the destruction of the Earth to make way for a new galactic hyperspace bypass. With the aid of the Guide, a galactic president with short-term memory loss and a depressed robot, Arthur embarks on an improbable journey through the universe in search of the meaning of life and a really good cup of tea.

The Butterfly Effect ★★★✩✩ (2004, Channel 4, 10.35pm. Dir Eric Bress) They say that if you go back to your childhood you can find the things that mucked you up into the dysfunctional adult you’ve become. Ashton Kutcher’s found them! And he’s found a way to go back in time and change the nasty events that screwed with his head. Only that changes other things too. And then it’s a mess. Oops.

FRIDAY 30 The Diamond Queen ★★✩✩✩

Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life★★★★★

(1953, Channel 4, 1.50pm. Dir John Brahm) It’s 1659 and jeweller Gabriel Tavernier mis-cuts a diamond meant for the crown of Louis XIV. The king’s not pleased and throws him in jail, sending the jeweller’s son off to India to get a replacement sparkly – or else. There he meets the beautiful Queen Maya. You can tell she’s trouble from the off.

(1983, ITV1, 11.15pm. Dir Terry Jones & Terry Gilliam) The Python team present a series of outrageous vignettes in this irreverent look at the various stages of human life. Bad taste highlights include doctors trying to claim a healthy liver from a still-living donor, and the spectacular demise of the world’s most voracious glutton.

Transporter 2 ★★★✩✩ (2004, Film4, 9pm. Dir Louis Leterrier) Much better than it sounds from the title alone. This chase film sees Jason Statham have the boy he was chauffeuring snatched from his very car. Not a happy chappy at this, he determines to save the kiddie while tearing around the city at breakneck speed. He’s a good kid, y’see, and Jase is, surprisingly, ex-special forces. Fun action caper.

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MONDAY 2 Hotel Rwanda ★★★★✩ (2004, Channel 4, 10pm. Dir Terry George) A hotel manager battles to save desperate refugees during the 1994 Rwandan civil war that saw Hutu extremists systematically try and wipe out their Tutsi neighbours. This is an impressive and acutely shocking telling of recent history.



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tuesday 27 Trinny And Susannah Meet Their Match ITV1, 8pm Tom Jones may have loved them but Trinny and Susannah are less enamoured – sex bombs. In the final episode of this series tackling the changing of pack identity, T & S take a closer look at women over 40 who are not ashamed to look sexy. Scrummy mummies eat your heart out.

Gok Wan: Too Fat Too Young Channel 4, 9pm Some may say this is a tad ‘shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted’ pointing out teenage obesity, but as an ongoing problem, it’s not going to be out of Vogue. Gok Wan, who himself battled with food issues, mixes his own recipe of candour and tough love to find out more. Plus, Dawn French on body image.

Cowards BBC4, 10pm The latest in the bombardment of sketch shows the BBC has been throwing at BBC3 and BBC4 in the hope of finding the next Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Catherine Tate. This sample has had some good write-ups, with scenarios ranging from disaffected judges to office bullying via Skype. Potential.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Hotel Trubble 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Janine’s gameplaying gets her into trouble with Jack. Oops! 8.00 Holby City Ric must up his game when Connie steps into the limelight by bringing a news-worthy operation to Holby. Learning how to write those press releases is a skill every surgeon must acquire. 9.00 Crimewatch The team appeal for help in cracking unsolved cases, including the mystery of who murdered Linda Farrow, with the killer leaving their footprints in the snow. Like a 19th century ghost story. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Crimewatch Update Updates. Don’t have nightmares. 10.45 Catching Britain’s Biggest Thieves Documentary telling how five police forces ended one family’s 20-year crime spree. Faa-amily. 11.25 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross The latest film reviews, news and interviews. 11.55 FILM: The Boys And Girl From County Clare (2003) Starring Bernard Hill. Irish comedy. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.00 Fast Bucks: How Porsche Made Billions 2.30 Lark Rise To Candleford 3.30 Around The World In 80 Faiths 4.30 BBC News

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Nuzzle And Scratch 9.20 Harry And Toto 9.30 Nina And The Neurons 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Science Clips 11.10 Science Clips 11.20 Thinking Skills 11.30 Hands Up! 11.45 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Trash To Cash 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.00pm House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.00 FILM: A Risk Worth Taking (2008) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the show where challengers take on probably the greatest quiz team in Britain. Cue Cecil B DeMille soundtrack with a claim like that. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge Now in southern Peru on the third leg of his journey, Ben Fogle is leading a team into the remote Cotahuasi Canyon, the deepest gorge on the planet. 7.00 The Best Of Top Gear Jeremy, James and Richard amuse us with their motoring exploits. 8.00 Oz And James Drink To Britain Oz Clarke and James May travel through Britain and Ireland to discover an amazing array of drinks. 8.30 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace are looking for the country’s next star chef. 9.00 Million Dollar Traders Eight ordinary people are given a million dollars, a fortnight of intensive training and two months to run their own hedge fund. Sink or swim in a downturn? Hardly seems fair. 10.00 The Culture Show The show marks the 250th anniversary of Robert Burns’ birth. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Credit Crash Britain The changing face of food retail. 11.50 Credit Crash Britain The impact of the credit crunch. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 The Test Of Time Educational (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The police pile the pressure on Eli, making it increasingly difficult for him to keep Debbie and Jasmine’s secret. Shtum, mate! 8.00 Trinny And Susannah Meet Their Match See highlights. 9.00 Total Emergency Reality series following all three emergency services in Sheffield. That’s three – count ‘em! Blimmin’ loads! 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show Sketch show starring the inimitable Katy Brand. Kate Moss crashes Stella McCartney’s birthday party, Lily Allen tries her hand at directing, and Captain Rosie attempts to win the battle for hearts and minds. Argh! 11.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry has saved some corkers for the final compilation special. Who will triumph in tonight’s final fight? 11.35 No Heroics Sitcom about a group of superhero friends. Jenny heads to prison to visit a supervillain she helped put behind bars, but her efforts to cheer him up backfire when she thinks up a novel way to use the prison phones. 12.05am Crossing Jordan 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 1.40 Loose Women 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Tricky Business Two 10.00 KNTV - Philosophy 10.35 My Crazy Life 11.05 Get Me The Producer 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Checking Into History 12.50 A Place In The Sun 1.20 FILM: Kipps (1942) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Zak and Michaela regret their outbursts but try to act cool about it, until Zak finally tells Michaela he loves her. Ain’t love grand? Is that nearly all the McQueen girls loved up now? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Checking into the feeding clinic is superskinny Kim. Following a divorce, her weight has plummeted to just over six stone. Kim is joined by 23and-a-half-stone Tracey. 9.00 Gok Wan: Too Fat Too Young See highlights. 10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy. After Ian is attacked, he is left wondering how he could have provoked it. After being attacked for the second time, Ian is hospitalised, and wakes up to the news that he has amnesia. No more hitting Ian! 11.05 The Big Bang Theory Seeing Penny with another man sends Leonard back to Leslie Winkle. 11.35 My Name Is Earl Joy decides to teach Randy how to be self-reliant. 12.05am Party Poker: Premier League Poker 1.00 Destination 2012 1.55 Fencing 2.20 Adrenalin Rush 2.50 Freesports On 4 3.40 Water Stories 3.50 Grudge Match 4.00 Rata-Tat-Tat 4.05 TVM: Puzzle Maths 2 (x5) 5.20 Making It (x2) 5.30 Music Search 5.45 Making It (x3)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 H2O Sports International 12.00pm Big League Weekend 1.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Football Asia 2.30 Big League Weekend 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.30 High Five 5.00 Big League Weekend 6.00 Football Asia 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice 12.00am Football First: Match Choice 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 4.30 Hyundai A League 5.00 Revista De La Liga

6.00 Home And Away Ruby is oblivious to Xavier’s shady dealings. She thinks their sunny all the way. 6.30 Zoo Days The keepers face an emergency when a cat has a seizure. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Jaguar Adventure With Nigel Marven Nigel heads deeper into the wetland in search of more extraordinary creatures. 8.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Alexander’s Tomb Looking at the ongoing hunt for the tomb of Alexander the Great – conqueror and self-proclaimed pharaoh of Egypt. Rah! 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A new recruit is brought in to help the CSIs hunt down a failed artist-turned-serial killer who poses his victims as statues. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation In the finale to the seventh season, the identity of the replica serial killer is finally revealed, but not before a member of the CSI team is placed in grave danger. 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit A female doctor is found raped and murdered in Central Park. As her work involved contacting the sexual partners of people with HIV, the detectives are left with a long list of suspects. . 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Boxing USA 1.55 NBA Basketball 4.30 Ironman Triathlon 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Powder Adventures 8.30 Wild Spirits 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 NFL: Top Ten 11.00 Poker 1.00pm Fishing: Bass Fishing 2.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 3.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 4.00 Poker 6.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 7.00 High Five 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 11.15 Revista De La Liga 12.15am America’s Game 1.15 NFL: Top Ten 2.15 Wild Spirits 2.45 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Motor Racing: Mowlem’s Racing Travels 9.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 10.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm America’s Game 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 Motor Racing: Mowlem’s Racing Travels 2.30 H2O Sports International 3.00 NFL: Top Ten 4.00 America’s Game 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 NFL: Top Ten 8.00 America’s Game 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 NFL: Top Ten 11.00 World Cup Of Pool 12.00am Hyundai A League 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Mountain Bike World 1.30 Hyundai A League Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








2.00pm Medical Detectives (x2) 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Best Of Stargate Atlantis 9.00 Battlestar Galactica 10.00 Lost 11.50 Lost: On Location 12.20am Lost: Season Five Revealed 12.50 Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who Confidential Christmas 2008 8.00 The Undercover Princes 9.00 Naked 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 The Undercover Princes 12.45am Naked 1.45 Grownups 2.15 Outtakes: US Presidents 2.45 Doctor Who Confidential Christmas 2008 3.40 Being Human

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 What Darwin Didn’t Know 9.00 The High Life 9.30 Early Doors 10.00 Cowards. See highlights. 10.30 Mad Men 11.15 In Concert: Richie Havens 11.55 In Concert: Tom Paxton 12.25am In Concert: Judy Collins 1.00 In Concert: Joan Baez 1.40 In Concert: Crosby And Nash

12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (zx2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Holiday Homes From Hell 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 11.10 FILM: Bottoms Up (2006) 1.10am Teleshopping

10.00am Quincy, ME 11.00 Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Prime Suspect 12.10am Inspector Morse 2.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 10.00 Reaper 11.00 Shameless 12.00am Skins 1.00 Scrubs (x2)

3.00pm A Place In The Sun (x2) 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Mum, Heroin And Me 11.25 Come Dine With Me 12.30am Mum, Heroin And Me

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Ghost Whisperer 11.00 CSI 12.00am Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Charmed




Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



5.00pm Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 One Foot In The Grave 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.00 Little Britain 11.40 Men Behaving Badly 12.20am Sorry!

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park 9.30 Scrubs 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x3) 12.40am South Park 1.10 Frasier (x2) 2.10 Angelo’s

2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Survivorman 10.00 Alaska’s Great Race 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (1990) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: Mammoth (2006) 9.50 FILM: Replicant (2001) 11.50 FILM: The Faculty (1998) 2.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)

12.10pm Abbott And Costello Meet The Mummy (1955) 1.40 Lover Come Back (1961) 3.30 The Great Moment (1944) 4.55 Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 6.35 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 9.00 Psycho (1960) 10.50 Kiss Of The Vampire (1963) 12.30am Lover Come Back (1961)

11.00amThe Movie Geek 11.30 Away From Her (2006) 1.30pm The Singer (2006) 3.30 The General (1998) 5.35 New Police Story (2004) 7.40 Little Children (2006) 10.00 Black Snake Moan (2006) 12.00am Mulholland Drive (2001) 1.50 The Page Turner (2006)

1.00pm Innocents In Paris (1953) 2.55 That Riviera Touch (1966) 4.50 Bless This House (1972) 6.35 The Parent Trap (1998) Lindsay Lohan goes double playing tweenage twins in this Disney remake of mistaken identity. 9.00 Braveheart (1995) Mel Gibson comes over all Scottish. 12.20am Zatoichi (2003)

8.50am Mogambo (1953) 11.00 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 1.00pm Seven Brides For Seven Brothers (1954) 3.00 Lost In A Harem (1944) 4.45 The Maltese Falcon (1941) 6.40 The Hill (1965) 9.00 Westworld (1973) 10.40 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (1973) 1.00am Westworld (1973)





3:55 PM

Page 1

wednesday 28 Relocation, Relocation Channel 4, 8pm Whichever way the market’s working, Kirstie and Phil can make it work for their clients. Hence Helen and Grant’s audacious attempt at being firsttime buyers in London. Yes, the market is allowing FTBs into the capital. Who’d’ve thunk it? Plus, they’re after a family home for Grant’s folks on the Kent coast.

The World’s Cleverest Child And Me Channel 4, 10pm Presenter Mark Dolan seeks out and tries not to talk down to some of the smartest people who have yet to reach voting age. His mam didn’t raise no fool, so interviewing these geniuses shouldn’t be too tricky. Do they reckon their smarts are nature or nurture? Clever bods should know.

Gossip Girl ITV2, 9pm It’s the second episode of the second series and the young and feckless are having no less complicated love lives. Blair is having a time of it getting used to new Brit boyfriend Lord Marcus Beaton’s ways, whereas Chuck’s still after Blair but turning up with Nate’s secret lover Catherine to bring out the jealousy factor. Eh?






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Gastronuts 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Nuzzle And Scratch 9.20 Harry And Toto 9.30 Nina And The Neurons 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Wildlife On Two 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Tricky Business Two 10.00 KNTV - Philosophy 10.35 Trouble Online 11.05 Get Me The Producer 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 My Eden 12.40 A Place In The Sun 1.10 FILM: The Way Ahead (1944) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.00pm House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 FILM: At The Midnight Hour (1995) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Local magazine programme. Most schools contain asbestos, but is it being safely maintained? And there is a look at an unlikely friendship that developed on the beaches of Brighton between a Mod and a Rocker. A mocker? 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama series set in a secondary school. The feud between Tom and Earl Kelly intensifies when a falconry day at Waterloo Road goes badly wrong. Schools sure have changed since our time. Falconry?! 9.00 The Secret Life Of Elephants Documentary series revealing the emotional and dramatic lives of elephants in Kenya’s Samburu reserve. The rains have arrived after the drought, but has baby elephant Breeze survived? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Scott Mills is live at Lottery HQ. Obviously that’s on Tracey Island. Thunderbirds are GO! 10.45 Match Of The Day Highlights of midweek fixtures. 12.05am FILM: Man On The Moon (1999) 1.55 Weatherview 2.00 Sign Zone: The Secret Life Of Elephants 3.00 Natural World (x2) 4.40 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a quiz show with lofty claims about having the best team. They haven’t seen the team down The Crescent on a Tuesday. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge Leading a team into the remote Cotahuasi Canyon, their path into the deepest part of the canyon is blocked by a landslide and the only way to reach camp is to cross one of South America’s fastest flowing rivers. Whoosh! 7.00 Escape To The Country A series in which experts help prospective buyers to find their dream home in the country. 8.00 It’s Not Easy Being Green Dick’s local pub sends out an SOS as their fuel bills soar. Turn off the hand dryer in the ladies. 8.30 MasterChef More tantalising delights for the taste buds. 9.00 The City Uncovered With Evan Davis Evan Davis looks at the roots of the current crisis. 10.00 QI Stephen Fry quizzes Phill Jupitus, Jo Brand, Hugh Dennis and Alan Davies on all things French and gives points for interesting answers. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 1929: The Great Crash A documentary exploring the causes of the 1929 Wall Street Crash. Not a traffic jam in New York. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Scottish Compilation Spring 2009

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale As Jasmine goes on the lam, Debbie faces police questioning alone. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony raises the dead – and shocks Maria. He’s going to drive her batty – just you see. Well on the way already. 8.00 The Bill Heaton visits Ian Ellis in prison who was found guilty of murdering Rebecca Clayton 20 years before – a case that mirrors that of Susan Clark. A former prostitute comes forward to report that her friend also went missing just before Rebecca was killed. Copycat or innocent man banged up? The suspense is alarming. 9.00 Taggart Burke and the team investigate the murder of a man who was tortured and executed on a remote area of Glasgow wasteland. As opposed to an easily accessible bit of botanical garden. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The South Bank Show Awards Melvyn Bragg hosts the 13th annual South Bank Show Awards. 11.50 FILM: The Rat Pack (1998) Starring Ray Liotta, Joe Mantegna, Don Cheadle. Emmy award-winning drama about the notorious Rat Pack. 2.05am Loose Women 2.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Russ collars Gaz and asks why he is constantly getting himself into trouble. But as Russ persuades Gov to give Gaz a second chance, Gaz is torching Relish. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Relocation, Relocation See highlights. 9.00 Grand Designs New edition of the property series following householders as they build their own homes. Sarah and Dean Berry return to their native South Wales from London, attempting to restore a hilltop castle near Newport. We want a castle! With a moat, and a princess, and no central heating. Oh. 10.00 The World’s Cleverest Child And Me See highlights. 11.05 Shameless Gritty comedy drama series. After Ian is attacked, he is left wondering how he could have provoked it. While Frank and Monica are faced with an almost impossible challenge after hearing baby Stella’s voice. Twenty B&H a day will do that to a toddler. 12.10am 4 Music: Spectacle: Elvis Costello With... James Taylor 1.10 3 Minute Wonder: My Home Is My Shoes (x2) 1.20 4Dance 2008 2.50 3 Minute Wonder: My Home Is My Shoes (x2) 3.00 Hill Street Blues 3.50 Early Days 4.00 Time Team 4.55 Countdown 5.40 Inuk 5.55 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Martha and Jack get intimate. Like anyone cares by now. 6.30 Zoo Days An army of keepers is required to vaccinate an entire section of the zoo. Like your school BCG but with more fur. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Extraordinary Animals Documentary series profiling remarkable animals from across the globe. Today, a bally brave horse. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers The truckers are called upon to help dismantle and move a massive drilling station. As if what they do isn’t dangerous enough. 9.00 FILM: The Hard Corps (2006) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Viveca Fox. Action thriller in which a former soldier assembles a team of tough bodyguards to protect an exboxer. The one-time champ, now a successful entrepreneur, is targeted by a rap mogul who has recently been released from prison. The excon blames the boxer for putting him behind bars - and will stop at nothing to wreak his revenge. Cos boxers are delicate flowers, like. 11.10 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime, presented by Donal MacIntyre. 12.10am Women’s World Open II 1.40 V8 Supercars 3.00 Ironman 3.50 NHL All Stars 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Sailing 11.30 Football Asia 12.00pm Hyundai A League 12.30 Football First: Match Choice 2.00 Football First: Match Choice 3.30 Football First: Match Choice 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice 12.00am Football First: Match Choice 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 4.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 European Tour Weekly

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Powder Adventures 8.30 Spirit Of Yachting 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 NFL: Top Ten 11.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 12.00pm Spirit Of Yachting 12.30 Mountain Bike World 1.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 2.00 Sports Unlimited 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.00 Spirit Of Yachting 4.30 Mountain Bike World 5.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 6.00 Athletics: Dubai Marathon 6.30 Licence To Le Mans 7.00 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 12.30am NFL: Total Access 1.30 America’s Game 2.30 NFL: Top Ten 3.30 Athletics: Dubai Marathon

Sky Sports 3 10.00am Poker: Million $ Cash Game 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm America’s Game 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Spirit Of Yachting 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 NFL: Top Ten 4.00 America’s Game 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 NFL: Top Ten 8.00 America’s Game 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Tenpin Bowling 12.00am Max Power 1.00 European Tour Weekly 1.30 Trans World Sport 2.30 Licence To Le Mans Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








2.00pm Medical Detectives (x2) 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 FILM: Happy Gilmore (1996) 10.45 Ross Kemp On Gangs: Liverpool 11.45 Road Wars 12.45am Street Wars 1.45 Mile High

7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 FILM: Deep Impact (1997) 9.55 Little Britain USA 10.20 Family Guy 10.45 Family Guy 11.10 The Undercover Princes 12.10am Kizzy: Sex, Prams And Exams 1.05 My 22 Stone Dad And Skinny Me 2.05 The Undercover Princes 3.05 Kizzy: Sex, Prams And Exams 4.00 Naked 5.30 Close

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Ready To Wear 8.00 The Book Quiz 8.30 Tonight In Person: Peter, Paul And Mary 9.00 Savile Row 10.00 Style On Trial 11.00 FILM: Fitzcarraldo (1982) 1.30am The Book Quiz 2.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Bill Bryson 3.00 Style On Trial 5.30 Close

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x20 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Demons 9.00 Gossip Girl. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 12.10am Coronation Street 12.40 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005)

11.00am Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Forensic Casebook With Matthew Kelly (x2) 10.00 Cold Blood 11.35 Numb3rs 12.35am Inspector Morse

10.55am One Tree Hill 11.50 Gilmore Girls 12.45pm Scrubs 1.15 Scrubs 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.35 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.45 Bring Back... Fame 12.20am Scrubs (X2)

5.05pm The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Bremner, Bird And Fortune: Silly Money 10.00 Father Ted 10.35 The IT Crowd 11.05 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 11.40 Bill Bailey Live: Part Troll 1.15am The Secret Millionaire

11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 CSI (x3) 12.00am Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Private Practice




Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



5.00pm Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 One Foot In The Grave 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.00 Little Britain 11.40 Men Behaving Badly 12.20am Sorry!

12.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 1.00 Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x4) 1.10am Frasier

2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Survivorman 9.00 Solved 10.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Force Of Impact (2005) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (1990) 10.00 FILM: The Foreigner (2003) 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: Concealed Fantasy (1994) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun

7.45am Coogan’s Bluff (1968) 9.30 A Foreign Affair (1948) 11.30 Road To Zanzibar (1941) 1.05pm Topaz (1969) 3.30 Duck Soup (1933) 4.45 Twelve O’Clock High (1949) 7.00 A Foreign Affair (1948) 9.00 Coogan’s Bluff (1968) 10.40 Lucky Jordan (1942) 12.05am Road To Zanzibar (1941)

10.45am Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny (2006) 12.25pm The Proposition (1998) 2.20 The Passenger (1975) 4.30 The Walker (2007) 6.20 Infamous (2006) 8.20 Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny (2006) 10.00 Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (1998) 12.05am The Passenger (1975)

1.00pm Conspiracy Of Hearts (1960) 3.15 Never Love A Stranger (1958) 5.10 Retreat, Hell (1952) 7.00 The Family Stone (2005) 9.00 Out Of Time (2003) 11.05 Secrets And Lies (1995) Mike Leigh’s acclaimed film of family secrets starring Brenda Blethyn. 1.50am Love And Sex (2000)

7.00am Mogambo (1953) 8.55 The Screening Room 9.20 Rio Rita (1942) 11.00 Murder, She Said (1961) 12.55pm Meet Me In St Louis (1944) 3.00 Adam’s Rib (1949) 4.55 The Champ (1979) 7.15 Forbidden Planet (1956) 9.00 Falling In Love (1984) 11.00 Mutiny On The Bounty (1962) 2.10am Falling In Love (1984)





1:01 PM

Page 1

thursday 29 The Speculators BBC2, 7.30pm Last year the price of crude oil shot up to a record high of $147 a barrel. Not a small ripple in the pond of global economics. The Money Programme’s Max Flint travels to the US Virgin Islands to investigate the place of financial speculators in this, devastating – for some – knock on our economy.

Cowboy Builders Five, 8pm With the rise in home improvements of late – make do and make it better – there comes the rise in telly shows about this popular activity. Do they not have lives of their own? Actually it’s quite good they don’t as Melinda Messenger and Dominic Littlewood come to the rescue of a loft conversion in Leeds.

Vodka, Homework And Me BBC3, 9pm Drink has permeated society quite thoroughly. The binge drinking shows have told us so. But seeing the struggles of 11year-old Reece really makes us sit up and take notice. This is not a bunch of office workers letting off steam but a child going through rehab. Looking at his pressures and struggles.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Prank Patrol 4.35 Little Howard’s Big Question 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Nuzzle And Scratch 9.20 Harry And Toto 9.30 Nina And The Neurons 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 The Maths Channel - Year 3 11.10 Let’s Write Non-Fiction 11.30 Something Special 11.45 Barnaby Bear 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Trash To Cash 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge As the team climbs ever higher, it is soon clear that charity worker Ann is close to exhaustion. 7.00 Oz And James Drink To Britain The duo travel on to Wigan, home to probably the smallest commercial brewery ever. Itsy! 7.30 The Speculators See highlights. 8.00 MasterChef Double-length episode comprising a heat and quarter-final. Prepare to dismiss your evening’s beans on toast in disgust. 9.00 Victorian Farm It’s Spring and there are lambs and pigs to be delivered - which means Alex and Peter need to master animal midwifery. Something easy then. 10.00 What The Victorians Did For Us Adam Hart-Davis investigates the Victorian innovations that left a lasting impression on British society. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Explore: Argentina’s Dirty War Looking at how history still haunts modern Argentina. The horror of what happened during Argentina’s brutal military dictatorship is once again dividing the country. 11.50 Amazon Abyss Mike deGruy and Kate Humble search for species new to science in the Amazon River. 12.50am BBC News 4.00 Science In Action (x2)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls

6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Tricky Business Two 10.00 KNTV - Philosophy 10.35 Chill Out 11.05 Get Me The Producer 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 My Eden 12.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.40 FILM: A Kid For Two Farthings (1955) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.00pm House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: Face To Kill For (1999) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A desperate Ashley searches for Jasmine. The vicar’s not having a good 2009. 7.30 The Krypton Factor Four more contestants face five challenges designed to test their brains as well as their bodies to their limits. Tell the telly the obstacle course doesn’t look too hard. Really a doss. Ish. 8.00 The Bill Ian Ellis has a solid alibi for the murder of Elaine Putnam, which means that he may be innocent of the murder of Rebecca Clayton. Furious when Heaton goes to see him, he finally decides to help. You’d think he might’ve had a motivation before now. 9.00 Piers Morgan On... Piers Morgan pays a visit to one of the most dynamic cities on the planet – Dubai. 20 years ago this was mainly desert, but from the world’s tallest building to the 7-star hotel suite, the excessiveness of it all is just mindboggling. Decadence plus. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Dexter Rita’s mother comes to visit and instantly senses a problem with Dexter. What – the killing thing? 11.45 FILM: Point Of Origin (2001) Starring Ray Liotta. Thriller. 1.15am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Emergency 2.10 Loose Women 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Elliot is convinced he is seriously ill when he starts seeing strange colours. How are they different from normal colours? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 A Million Pound Place In The Sun Special deluxe edition of the show on homes abroad. Amanda Lamb travels to the South of France to help former Premiership footballer Jason Cundy and his wife Lizzie find a holiday home. Gits. Sorry – fortunate benefactors of hard work. 9.00 Jamie Saves Our Bacon Jamie Oliver presents a look at Britain’s pig industry, investigating why pig farmers are going out of business and how better consumer choices can help to support them. 10.35 FILM: The Butterfly Effect (2004) Starring Ashton Kutcher, Melora Walters, Amy Smart. Sci-fi thriller in which a student suffering from blackouts discovers he has the ability to go back in time and change the childhood traumas causing his memory lapses. Isn’t that something of a catch 22? No trauma, no gift, no correcting trauma... You get the gist. 12.45am T-Mobile Transmission 1.15 4 Music: 4Play: Bryn Christopher 1.30 FILM: Gerry (2002) 3.20 Portrait Of A Young Man Drowning 3.35 Hill Street Blues 4.20 Time Team 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Will Rachel expose Bridget’s lies? Ooh– cheeky! 6.30 Zoo Days Documentary series based at Colchester Zoo. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Animal Rescue Squad Wildlife series presented by Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker. 8.00 Cowboy Builders See highlights, 9.00 Soho Blues Documentary series profiling police work in the heart of London’s West End. This opening installment sees the cops called to the scene of an accident in which a partygoer has fallen six floors through a glass skylight. Anyone remember an advert depicting a similar thing happening? Guess some people didn’t catch it. 10.00 FILM: Fortress 2 (1999) Starring Christopher Lambert, Aidan Rea, David Roberson. Sci-fi adventure drama about a family on the run from a sinister totalitarian organisation which rules the world. The man is imprisoned in a hard labour camp in outer space and implanted with a security camera, but the rebel’s desire to be free with the wife and son who have eluded capture provides him with inspiration. 11.55 Quiz Call 4.00am Now is the time: The Night of combat – Kick Boxing 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Live European Tour Golf: Dubai Desert Classic 9.00 Dubai Marathon 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 Licence To Le Mans 10.30 Live European Tour Golf: Dubai Desert Classic 1.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 Live Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 The Rugby Club 1.00am Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 2.30 Time Of Our Lives 3.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Airsports World

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Janine gets her own back on Jack, leaving him chained to the club. Surely that’s flirting in their books. 8.00 Life Of Riley Sitcom. Maddy’s stepdaughter Katy becomes a vegetarian, but her animal rights stance only leads to animal wrongs. 8.30 The Green Green Grass Rural sitcom. Tyler wants to borrow money to buy new equipment for his band but Boycie, who was brought up in the school of hard knocks, refuses to cough up. Right on. 9.00 Hustle When a deal goes wrong and the team are left with a priceless diamond, they are forced to take on their most dangerous mark to date. Mickey thinks they can keep the necklace if Emma is willing to trick Toby Baxter, the rich recluse who had it stolen to order. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the political debate. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Watchdog 1.25 It’s Not Easy Being Green 1.55 Wild About Your Garden 2.40 Countryfile 3.35 Animal Park 4.35 BBC News BBC

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 NFL: Top Ten 11.00 Football First: Match Choice 12.30pm Football First: Match Choice 2.00 Football First: Match Choice 3.30 Yachting: World Match Racing Tour 4.00 America’s Game 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 The Rugby Club 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 World Hockey Monthly 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five-OO 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 America’s Game 2.00 NFL: Top Ten 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 World Hockey Monthly 4.30 LIVE International Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Total Rugby 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 10.00 Tenpin Bowling 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00pm America’s Game 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Licence To Le Mans 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 NFL: Top Ten 4.00 Tenpin Bowling 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 The Dogs 6.30 World Hockey Monthly 7.00 Airsports World 7.30 LIVE Winning Post 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Golf Night 2.30 Poker Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 1.00 Family Court: Judge Penny (X2) 2.00 Medical Detectives (x2) 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Cold Case 10.00 Bones (x2) 12.00am Road Wars

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Naked 9.00 Vodka, Homework And Me. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Undercover Princes 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Vodka, Homework And Me 1.15 Naked 2.15 The Undercover Princes 3.10 The World’s Strictest Parents

7.00pm News 7.40 The New Avengers 8.30 Tonight In Person: Peter, Paul And Mary 9.00 Reputations 9.45 Men, Women And Clothes 10.00 Style On Trial 11.30 The Look 12.20am Folk America At The Barbican: Hollerers, Stompers And Old-Time Ramblers 1.25 Seasick Steve: Bringing It All Back Home

12.00pm Coronation Street 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 American Idol 9.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 10.00 Supernatural (x2) 12.00am FILM: Bottoms Up (2006)

1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Monarch Of The Glen 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Flashpoint 11.00 FILM: Death In Brunswick (1990) 1.20am Inspector Morse 3.00 The Wonder Years (x2)

12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Superman The Early Years 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.35 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 My Name Is Earl 9.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.00 Skins 11.00 The Inbetweeners 11.30 Peep Show 12.00am Scrubs (x2)

2.00pm Hill Street Blues 3.00 A Place In The Sun (x2) 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 ER 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Without A Trace 12.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 CSI 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI 12.00am Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Charmed Ÿ




Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



5.00pm Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 The Green Green Grass 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (X2) 10.50 Absolutely Fabulous 11.50 Men Behaving Badly 12.30am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men 12.40 Frasier (x2)

2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Solved 10.00 Crime Scene Forensics 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Rocketman (1997) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: Firestorm: Last Stand At Yellowstone (2006) 9.40 FILM: The Faculty (1998) 11.50 FILM: Mammoth (2006) 1.40am 3rd Rock From The Sun

10.25am California (1946) 12.05pm The Phantom Of The Opera (1943) 1.40 Holiday Inn (1942) 3.25 The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 5.30 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 7.20 California (1946) 9.00 Rear Window (1954) 11.00 The Innocents (1961) 12.45am Holiday Inn (1942)

11.20am An Inconvenient Truth (2006) 1.00pm Days Of Glory (2005) 3.10 The Namesake (2006) 5.15 Mo’ Better Blues (1990) 7.30 Mulholland Drive (2001) 10.00 Tell No One (2006) 12.10am Ravenous (1999) 1.55 Hollywood Bombs & Blockbusters 3.20 An Inconvenient Truth (2006)

1.00pm Johnny Come Lately (1943) 2.55 The Malta Story (1953) 5.00 The Last Command (1955) 7.10 Simply Irresistible (1999) Sarah Michell Gellar cooks up a storm as the chef with a touch of magic. 9.00 Men Of Honor (2000) 11.25 Rita, Sue And Bob Too (1987) 1.15am The Puffy Chair (2005)

7.05am Ice Station Zebra (1968) 9.35 Bonnie Scotland (1935) 11.00 Falling In Love (1984) 1.00pm The Glass Bottom Boat (1966) 3.00 Easter Parade (1948) 4.55 The Boyfriend (1971) 7.30 Murder At The Gallop (1963) 9.00 Serpico (1973) 11.25 Clash Of The Titans (1981) 1.35am Serpico (1973) 3.55 Freaks (1932)





3:54 PM

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friday 30 Ramsay’s Great British Nightmare Channel 4, 9pm Not one, but two troubled eateries are on the crinkly-faced one’s show tonight. It’s a double whammy, and as such, warrants a feature-length episode. Sorting out The Runaway Girl in Sheffield and The Dovecote in Devon will be quite a feat in these current frugal times. Good luck Gordo.

Pushing Daisies ITV1, 10pm Back and on a Friday night, this quirky comedy that proved so popular in 2008 returns maintaining its quirky macabre sense of fun and communion with the recently departed. Emerson is hired to investigate the tragic bee-related death of Kentucky Fitz, and Lily helps Olive move to a nunnery. Bliss.

American Idol ITV2, 9pm Ha ha, he he – it’s audition time, when we can rub our collective hands in glee at the hotch potch of deluded Americans being visited around the country by hopeful judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Kara DioGuardi. Will they find thier diamonds in the rough? Or just a load of gravel?






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Outback 8 4.35 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.20am Children’s television 9.20 Harry And Toto 9.30 Nina And The Neurons 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Razzledazzle 11.30 Telling Tales: English - The Butterfly Lovers 11.35 Telling Tales: Mandarin - The Butterfly Lovers 11.40 See You, See Me 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Open Gardens 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Trash To Cash 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge During the final push, the team risk life and limb on a dizzying 2500m descent straight down the sheer canyon wall. 7.00 Once A Soldier Documentary series about the Chelsea Pensioners. 7.30 Mastermind Subjects are The Ashes Series of 1902, AE Housman, British punk and the Trans-Siberian Railway. 8.00 Natural World The Sundarbans forest is one of the biggest tracts of mangrove forest left in the world but up to 50 forest workers are killed there by tigers each year and now the boldest animals are sneaking into villages at night. 8.50 Coast: East Coast - The Wash 9.00 Around The World In 80 Faiths Pete Owen Jones discovers a dangerous side to the Bible Belt when he gets too close to the serpent handlers in the Appalachian mountains. 10.00 Rab C Nesbitt Savage rhetoric from Scotland’s string-vested, beerdrinking sage. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 The Culture Show From the Old Fruitmarket in Glasgow to mark the 250th anniversary of Robert Burns’ birth.12.20am Medium (x2) 1.45 Nero Wolfe Mysteries

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls

6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Tricky Business Two 10.00 KNTV - Philosophy 10.35 Chill Out 11.05 Get Me The Producer 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Small Railway Journeys 12.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.50 FILM: The Diamond Queen (1953) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 Five News Update 3.20 FILM: Crossed Over (2002) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lexi encourages Carl to claim the garage in Debbie’s absence. Finders keepers? 7.30 Coronation Street Emily reveals her suspicions to a shocked Carla. C’mon now, how shocked can she really be? 8.00 Your Pound Abroad: Tonight Fiona Foster investigates how the falling pound will impact on Brits travelling and living abroad. 8.30 Coronation Street Carla visits Jed – and begins to suspect Tony. Wakey wakey sweetheart. 9.00 Trial And Retribution The hostility between the fairground community and the police makes for a difficult investigation. Despite this, Pavel is arrested. But new evidence begins to point to a different, surprising suspect. Jack-in-the-box, right? Big surprise. Huge. 10.00 Pushing Daisies See highlights. 11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.35 FILM: Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde (2002) Starring John Hannah, David Warner. Made-for-TV version of Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic gothic horror tale. 1.30am Darts Highlights: Coral Player’s Championship 2.20 FILM: Tremors 3: Back To Perfection (2001) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Nancy and Hannah decide to find a man for Sarah. No more ladies? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 My Dad, The Serial Killer Showcase of bold and original documentaries from up-and-coming filmmakers. Matt Rudge’s film explores what life is like for the family of a serial killer. In 2008, Levi Bellfield was sentenced to life imprisonment for the murders of two women and the attempted murder of a third. His unsuspecting family were left to pick up the pieces. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA Series offering advice on buying property abroad. Jonnie Irwin and Jasmine Harman help the Houghton family decide whether to raise their children in Norfolk or America. 9.00 Ramsay’s Great British Nightmare See highlights. 11.05 Plus One Sitcom. Rob decides the only way he can upstage Linsey and Duncan in their magazine wedding pictures is by taking a celebrity of his own to the wedding. 11.35 Rude Tube Matt Kirshen celebrates the funniest and most notorious internet clips. 12.10am Sunday Night Project 1.10 Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 2.05 Red Bull Air Race 2008 3.05 Trans World Sport 4.00 Time Team 4.55 Countdown 5.40 Close

6.00 Home And Away Melody wreaks havoc at the school dance. The hussy! 6.30 Zoo Days The keepers gather at the aardvark burrow for a new arrival. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Rough Guide To Safari Adventures Travel series presented by Julia Bradbury and Toby Amies. 8.00 The Gadget Show Road Trip Special Special edition of the Gadget Show in which the intrepid presenters undertake a host of technology-fuelled challenges en route from Edinburgh to London. 9.00 NCIS The accidental discovery of a murder victim during a routine training exercise sparks a hunt for a dangerous international criminal. Are there ever any safe ones? 10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama series about a maths genius recruited by the FBI to solve complex criminal cases. Don’s team helps an FBI veteran track down a conman who has eluded him for years. Is he in your left hand? Your right? Vanished. 11.00 Criminal Minds Drama series following the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit. When a college campus is plagued by alarming arson attacks, the team must work together to catch the firestarter before they strike again. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Tim Marlow On... 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Dubai Desert Classic 9.00 NFL: America’s Game 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Dubai Desert Classic 1.30pm Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 International Cricket 5.30 Off The Bar 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE International Rugby Union 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am International Rugby Union 1.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Off The Bar 4.30 Big League Weekend 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Another 30 minutes of light-hearted sporting trivia. 8.00 EastEnders As Jack dangles on a chain, will Janine win a prize? What is she – down the pier? 8.30 Sky Cops Series that follows the work of Britain’s helicopter police, narrated by Jamie Theakston. 9.00 QI Stephen Fry falls foul of fakes and frauds with Sean Lock, Jimmy Carr, Marcus Brigstocke and Alan Davies. Lovely friendly quiz show. 9.30 Not Going Out Sitcom. When Lucy announces that she is pregnant, Lee wonders if the father might accidentally have been him. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan Ross is joined as ever in the studio by a host of celebrities for music and chat. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: The Last Castle (2001) Starring Robert Redford. The story of a respected general whose career ends in disgrace when he disobeys orders and is sent to a maximumsecurity prison. Bad soldier!1.45am Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: Natural World 2.40 Animal Park 3.40 Animal Park 4.40 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 8.30am LIVE International Cricket 1.00pm Barclays Premier League World 1.30 World Hockey Monthly 2.00 The Rugby Club 3.30 World Hockey Monthly 4.00 America’s Game 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Powder Adventures 6.30 Sailing 7.00 Volvo Ocean Race 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 10.00 Off The Bar 10.30 Big League Weekend 11.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 12.00am Sailing 12.30 NFL: Total Access 1.30 America’s Game 2.30 Sailing 3.00 Rugby Union 4.30 Sailing 5.00 Volvo Ocean Race 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 The Dogs 9.30 The Rugby Club 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm America’s Game 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 The Dogs 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 NFL: Top Ten 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 International Cricket 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 NFL: Top Ten

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








2.00pm Medical Detectives (x2) 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 9.00 FILM: Happy Gilmore (1996) 10.45 Night Cops 11.45 Road Wars 12.45am Street Wars 1.45 Mile High

7.00pm The Best Of Top Gear 8.00 Doctor Who 9.00 Being Human 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 The Site 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Little Britain USA 12.45 Being Human 1.45 Grownups 2.15 The Site 2.45 Naked 3.45 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 4.15 The Undercover Princes

7.00pm World News 7.30 Transatlantic Sessions 8.00 Bruce Springsteen With The Sessions Band Live In Dublin 9.00 Folk America 10.00 Later Folk America 11.00 Arena 12.10am The New Avengers 1.00 Cowards 1.30 Folk America 2.30 Bruce Springsteen With The Sessions Band Live In Dublin

12.30pm Holiday Airport 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 World’s Smallest People 9.00 American Idol (x2). See highlights. 11.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 12.00am Coronation Street (x2)

11.00am Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Flashpoint 10.00 FILM: Bloody Sunday (2002) 12.10am Liverpool One 1.20 Inspector Morse

12.45pm Scrubs 1.15 Scrubs 1.45 Superman The Early Years 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.35 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 FILM: The 51st State (2001) 12.00am Scrubs (X2) 1.00 My Name Is Earl

3.00pm A Place In The Sun (x2) 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Secret Millionaire Changed My Life 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs 10.35 FILM: Another 48 Hrs (1990) 12.25am Secret Millionaire Changed My Life

11.00amThe Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 CSI 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI 12.00am Will And Grace (x2)




Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



5.40pm Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 The Green Green Grass 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.40 Absolutely Fabulous 11.35 Men Behaving Badly 12.15am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.50 Absolutely Fabulous

1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Celebrity Death Match 12.40 Jackass

2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Survivorman 10.00 NASA’s Greatest Missions 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

2.00pm Angel 3.00 FILM: Firestorm: Last Stand At Yellowstone (2006) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 Sea Of Souls 9.15 Sea Of Souls 10.30 FILM: Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998) 12.20am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Sex Lives Of Ghosts (2004)

1.00pm King Kong Vs Godzilla (1962) 2.35 King Kong Escapes (1968) 4.15 Sorry, Wrong Number (1948) 5.50 White Savage (1943) 7.15 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 9.00 The Comancheros (1961) 10.50 King Kong Vs Godzilla (1962) 12.25am King Kong Escapes (1968)

9.00am Breaking And Entering (2006) 11.05 Sicko (2007) 1.20pm Sky Movies Special 1.50 Bottle Rocket (1996) 3.30 La Vie En Rose (2006) 5.55 Breaking And Entering (2006) 7.55 Sicko (2007) 10.00 Bottle Rocket (1996) 11.35 Repo Man (1984) 1.10am Do The Right Thing (1989)

1.00pm The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) 3.10 Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 5.20 Carry On Behind (1975) 7.05 Freaky Friday (1977) 9.00 Transporter 2 (2004) 10.50 Fight Club (1999) Edward Norton and Brad Pitt co-star in this abusive psychological film about hitting each other. 1.30am Amelie (2001)

9.15am At The Circus (1939) 11.00 Elvis: That’s The Way It Is (1970) 12.50pm The Password Is Courage (1962) 3.00 A Night At The Opera (1935) 4.35 The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre (1948) 6.55 Please Don’t Eat The Daisies (1960) 9.00 Batman Returns (1992) 11.25 Wise Guys (1986) 1.05am Elvis: That’s The Way It Is (1970)





11:06 AM

Page 1

saturday 31 Demons ITV1, 7.50pm Supernatural drama. Strange things are afoot when Mina and Galvin investigate an odd murder. Mina begins to suffer terrifying visions of a winged monster, and she starts to fear for Luke’s safety. Luke has other things on his mind: he’s fallen in love. Soon the young smiter realises that life will never be the same again.

Jamie Saves Our Bacon Channel 4, 11.15pm This little piggy went to market… Jamie Oliver presents a look at Britain’s pig industry, investigating why pig farmers are going out of business and how better consumer choices can help to support them. With the help of industry insiders, he also follows the pig farming process from birth to slaughter.

Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend ITV2, 9.05pm Socialite Paris Hilton is in search of a British best friend. In LA, Paris holds a leaving party and says goodbye to her dogs. In the UK, it is time for the wannabes to have a makeover before Paris subjects them to a gruelling interrogation. Who will be the first to be eliminated? Oh my…






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 MasterChef 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Tennis: Australian Open 2.00 International Indoor Athletics 4.30 Final Score 5.25 BBC News 5.40 Regional News And Weather 5.45 Total Wipeout

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.40 Big Cook Little Cook 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Animalia 7.30 Mortified 7.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 8.00 Skunk Fu 8.15 Sportsround 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 10.00 Basil’s Swap Shop 11.00 Roar 12.00pm Malcolm In The Middle 12.20 Proper Messy 12.25 The Almost Perfect Guide To Life 12.55 Myths 1.00 Sound 1.30 Trexx And Flipside 2.00 FILM: Decision At Sundown (1957) 3.15 The World At War 4.10 The World At War 5.00 The Diary Of Anne Frank 6.30 Dad’s Army Corporal Jones loses money that has been raised to provide a new canteen for the servicemen. 7.00 Victorian Farm It’s spring and there are lambs and pigs to be delivered – which means Alex and Peter need to master animal midwifery. A prized ewe is in danger and a lame horse may jeopardise vital work on the farm. The team turn to Victorian science in a bid to save their struggling crops. If they succeed, they will have something to celebrate at the May Day fair. 8.00 History Of Scotland Neil Oliver describes how two of Scotland’s Stuart monarchs were the driving force that united two ancient enemies, and set them on the road to the Great Britain we know today. While Mary Queen of Scots plotted to usurp Elizabeth I, her son James dreamt of a more radical future: a Protestant Great Britain. 9.00 Mandela At 90 The big man turns 90 – tune in to see the celebrations. 10.00 QI XL Stephen Fry falls foul of fakes and frauds with Sean Lock, Jimmy Carr, Marcus Brigstocke and Alan Davies. 10.45 Life & Lyrics The aspirations of Brixton DJ Danny and his rapping crew could be crushed by self doubt. 12.25am Film: All the King’s Men (1949). 2.10 FILM: Nine Queens (2000)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 The Cosby Mysteries 10.55 Dancing On Ice 12.55pm Dancing On Ice – The Skate Off 1.25 ITV News And Weather 1.35 Meridian News And Weather 1.40 FILM: The Neverending Story (1984) 3.30 FILM: Racing Stripes (2005) 5.20 Meridian News And Weather 5.35 ITV News And Weather 5.50 The Feel Good Factor

6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.05 UK School Games 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 One Tree Hill 9.50 Friends 10.25 One Tree Hill 11.20 Friends 11.55 Girls Aloud Special: Under The Skin 1.00pm Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 The TV Show 4.30 How Clean Is Your House? 5.00 John Adams

6.00am Kid’s TV 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Everybody Hates Chris 10.30 Two And A Half Men 11.00 Pimp My Ride UK 11.30 Fifth Gear 12.30pm The Gadget Show Road Trip Special 1.30 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 2.30 Zoo Days 2.45 FILM: Captains Courageous (1996) 4.35 FILM: The Final Countdown (1980)

6.50 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill is your guide to some of the funniest footage filmed by viewers on their camcorders and mobile phones. Today’s show features the attack of the cherry tomatoes, a treehouse demolition that does not go to plan, and the beat box boogie baby. 7.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp It is time for Harry’s take on the new year’s new TV as our favourite big-collared quipster puts his uniquely inventive spin on the week’s programmes. And he has a lot to choose from for the first Burp of 2009, with all the top soaps plus Dancing on Ice in the firing line. 7.50 Demons See highlights. 8.50 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity Special Meera Syal Josie Lawrence and other celebs play for charity. 9.50 FILM: Troy (2004) Starring Brad Pitt. Spectacular adaptation of Homer’s epic poem, The Iliad. When Trojan prince Paris woos Helen, Queen of Sparta, away from her husband Menelaus, Achilles is called to lead the armies of Greece against the city fortress of Troy. 11.20 ITV News and Weather 11.35 FILM: Troy (2004) 1.00am Darts: Players’ Championship Highlights 2.00 FILM: Daddy Long Legs (1955) 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.35 Channel 4 News 7.00 Time Team Archaeological series. Tony Robinson and the team head to the small village of Caerwent in Wales, one of the country’s best preserved Roman sites. The archaeologists excavate a prime location that has previously been untouched, revealing a whole host of finds including a maze of walls and a villa. 8.00 Chickens, Hugh And Tesco Too Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall takes on Britain’s biggest supermarket in an audacious attempt to change the company’s animal welfare policy from the inside by becoming a shareholder. Hugh also visits poultry farmers to learn about humanely-produced yet affordable chicken and revisits Hayley, a single mother who buys mass-produced chicken. Will Hugh succeed? Will he lose all his clubcard points. one thing is for sure, the big boys and girls at Tesco are not happy about the interferance. Go Hughy, go! 9.00 FILM: Planet Of The Apes (2001) See film highlights. 11.15 Jamie Saves Our Bacon See highlights. 12.50am Half Ton Veg 1.25 FILM: The Hi-Lo Country (1998) 3.20 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 The Treacle People 5.55 The Hoobs

6.25 FILM: McQ (1974) Thriller in which a big-city cop sets out to avenge the death of his partner, thought to have been shot by a drug dealer. However, the villain has friends in high places and succeeds in getting the cop thrown off the case. 8.20 Five News And Sport 8.30 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. An investigation into the death of a marine leads to a dubious weapons deal. 9.30 CSI: NY The murder of a highprofile fixer threatens to expose a web of deceit that goes to the very top of society and leaves a number of powerful figures across the city feeling very nervous. 10.30 Law And Order Detectives probe the death of a student who jumped from his dormitory window. When it emerges that the boy was suffering side effects from an experimental anti-depressant. 11.30 NCIS The accidental discovery of a murder victim sparks a hunt for a dangerous international criminal. Elsewhere, Tony’s interest in a female FBI agent provokes a jealous outburst from Ziva. 12.30am Quiz Call 4.00 Tim Marlow On... Modern Art 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Out Of Practice x2

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Off The Bar 7.30 Big League Weekend 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 Live Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.40 Eurovision: Your Country Needs You Graham Norton hosts the series searching for the UK’s next Eurovision stars. Not like there aren’t enough reality show opportunities for people with an acute lack of self awareness to be humiliated for public entertainment. Oh dear… 7.50 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show where five contestants compete to be in the right place at the right time in a bid to win a big money jackpot. Plus, Jenni Falconer is live from Lottery HQ with the weekend draws. 8.40 Casualty As Jordan is faced with a difficult decision, Curtis struggles to reveal his true feelings to Alice and Zoe has a breakthrough with Sharice. 9.30 The Old Guys Sitcom about two elderly delinquents and their attractive neighbour. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents all the goals and highlights from the Premier League. 11.40 FILM: The Great Raid (2005) War drama recreating the dramatic rescue of more than 500 American prisoners of war from the notorious Japanese POW camp near Cabanatuan in the Philippines. 1.45am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.45 Weatherview 2.50 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Fishing: Bass Fishing 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Volvo Ocean Race 8.30 Sailing 9.00 Live Euro Tour Golf 1.00pm Volvo Ocean Race 1.30 NFL: Super Bowl XLIII Preview 2.30 Live Premiership Rugby Union 5.00 NFL: Top Ten 6.00 NFL: Super Bowl XLIII Preview 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Premiership Rugby Union 12.00am NFL: Super Bowl XLIII Preview 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 America’s Game 3.30 NFL: Super Bowl XLIII Preview 4.30 NFL: Top Ten 5.30 Volvo Ocean Race

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Spirit Of Yachting 6.30 Rugby Union 8.00 Friday Fight Night 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm America’s Game 1.00 Friday Fight Night 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 America’s Game 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Premiership Rugby Union 3.00 Max Power 4.00 Volvo Ocean Race 4.30 LIVE International Cricket

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? (x2) 2.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 3.00 Project Runway 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Gladiators 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 7.30 Noel’s HQ Live 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 24 12.00am Road Wars (x3) 1.50 Street Wars

7.00pm The Real Hustle 7.15 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 7.45 Top Gear Vietnam Special 9.00 FILM: Starsky And Hutch (2004) 10.35 Live At The Apollo 11.20 Family Guy (x2) 12.10am Being Human 1.10 Naked 2.10 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 2.40 The Real Hustle 2.50 Vodka, Homework And Me

7.00pm Anne Frank Remembered 9.00 BBC Four World Cinema Awards 2009 10.00 Werner Herzog On The Culture Show 10.10 FILM: Nosferatu The Vampyre (1979) 11.55 Style On Trial 12.55am Style On Trial 2.25 BBC Four World Cinema Awards 2009 5.30 Close

11.55am Holiday Airport: Palma 12.55pm Nanny 911 1.50 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 2.50 Gossip Girl 3.50 American Idol (x3) 6.50 FILM: Back To The Future Part II (1989) 9.05 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 10.05 FILM: American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006) 12.05am FILM: Die Hard 2 (1990)

9.40am Upstairs, Downstairs (x2) 11.50 FILM: Uncle Buck (1989) 1.50pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.55 Sherlock Holmes: Hound Of The Baskervilles 5.05 FILM: The Railway Children (1970) 7.15 Wycliffe 8.15 Taggart 9.50 A Touch Of Frost 11.55 Cracker 1.05am FILM: Death In Brunswick (1990)

8.30am Fresh Saturday 10.00 The Simple Life (x2) 10.55 Dark Angel (x2) 12.45pm Roswell (x2) 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs(x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl 7.30 The Big Bang Theory 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 100 Greatest Stand-Ups 1.05am Dark Angel (x2) 2.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus

9.30am Time Team (x5) 2.40pm FILM: The Dish (2000) 4.30 Grand Designs Revisited 5.35 Grand Designs (x4) 10.00 Tony Robinson And The Medieval Reincarnation 11.00 Time Team Special: Pugin - The God Of Gothic 12.05am The West Wing 1.05 Tony Robinson And The Medieval Reincarnation

12.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 America’s Next Top Model 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 6.00 Will And Grace (x2) 7.00 Criminal Minds 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 FILM: The Karate Kid Part II (1986) 11.20 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.15am The Fix 12.30 Will And Grace 1.00 Charmed




Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



1.00pm Only Fools And Horses 2.20 Porridge 3.00 Only Fools And Horses 3.40 Open All Hours 4.20 Only Fools And Horses 5.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 5.40 Only Fools And Horses 6.55 FILM: Ghostbusters (1984) 9.00 Jonathan Creek (x2) 11.40 FILM: Another Stakeout (1993) 1.50am What A Carry On!

11.00am Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 12.00pm Frasier (x2) 1.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 2.00 Frasier (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Frasier (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 South Park (x13) 3.30am Frasier (x4)

2.00pm Scandals Of Ancient Egypt 3.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 4.00 Unsolved Murders (x2) 5.00 Nextworld 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Survivorman 8.00 Alaska’s Great Race 9.00 Heist 10.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Forensics 12.00am Crime Museum UK With Martin Kemp (x2)

1.00pm Ghost Stories 1.30 FILM: Force Of Impact (2005) 3.10 FILM: Weird Science (1985) 5.00 FILM: The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (1990) 7.00 Haunted Homes 8.00 Eli Stone 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: What Lies Beneath (2000) 12.30am FILM: Emmanuelle And The Art Of Love (2000) 2.10 FILM: The Faculty (1998)

12.20pm Journey To The Center Of The Earth (1959) 2.30 Samson And Delilah (1949) 4.40 The Robe (1953) 6.55 The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 9.00 The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 11.35 Journey To The Center Of The Earth (1959) 1.55am The Robe (1953) 4.20 The War Lord (1965)

9.00am Tube Tales (1999) 10.35 Letters From Iwo Jima (2006) 1.00pm The Thin Red Line (1998) 3.50 Jindabyne (2006) 6.05 A Fish Called Wanda (1988) 7.55 Marie Antoinette (2006) 10.00 Happiness (1999) 12.30am Requiem For A Dream (2000) 2.20 The Walker (2007)

1.00pm The Parent Trap (1998) 3.25 Hoppity Goes To Town (1941) 5.00 Love Happy (1950) 6.40 A River Runs Through It (1992) 9.00 Underworld (2003) 11.15 Underworld: Evolution (2006) 1.20am Mirror (1976) 3.30 Close

9.00am Murder Most Foul (1964) 10.40 Mutiny On The Bounty (1935) 1.05pm Welcome To Hard Times (1967) 3.00 The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) 5.00 The Prize (1963) 7.30 Viva Las Vegas (1964) 9.00 The Hunger (1983) 10.45 Fandango (1984) 12.20am Diner (1982) 2.15 The Hunger (1983)





3:14 PM

Page 1

sunday 1 The Secret Life Of Elephants BBC1, 6pm The rains have arrived, but has baby Breeze survived? As hundreds of elephants descend on the reserve for the breeding season, the team hit their busiest time of year. Saba tracks down the mighty bull elephants, but even Saba is keeping her distance when Rommel, a dangerous bull, turns up.

The Madness Of Boy George Channel 4, 11.10pm In August 2006, Boy George was again thrust into the media spotlight. This time it wasn’t his music that was attracting the headlines but his sweeping of streets as part of his community service. This film charts ten months in his life and an attempt to leave his problems behind. Timely as George is now inside…

Neil Young: Don’t Be Denied BBC4, 9pm Neil Young grants rare access for a documentary tracing his journey in his own words. Made up of three hours of interviews shot in New York and California plus unseen footage from the star’s own archives, Stephen Stills, Graham Nash, David Crosby, Nils Lofgren and James Taylor also feature.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.40 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 1.30 EastEnders 3.25 Diagnosis Murder 4.10 Wild About Your Garden 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.50 Regional News And Weather

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.40 Big Cook Little Cook 7.00 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 7.05 Animalia 7.30 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 8.30 Tennis: Australian Open - Men’s Final 11.30 Something For The Weekend 1.00pm Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge 1.30 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross 2.00 Escape To The Country 3.00 FILM: They Came To Cordura (1959) 5.00 Ski Sunday 5.30 Orangutan Diary

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Championship 10.25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.55 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.10pm ITV News And Weather 1.15 Meridian News And Weather 1.20 FILM: The War Wagon (1967) 3.10 FILM: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) 5.45 The Krypton Factor

6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.05 Trans World Sport 8.00 4Sport: Destination 2012 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 2.05 The Big Bang Theory 2.40 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.40 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Time Team

6.00am Kid’s TV 8.30 The Beeps 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Alexander’s Tomb 11.00 Mystery Of The Mummies 12.00pm Numb3rs 1.00 Penguin Adventure With Nigel Marven 2.00 FILM: Murder Ahoy (1964) 3.50 FILM: Columbo: Death Hits The Jackpot (1991) 5.50 Five News

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 LIVE NFL: Super Bowl XLIII 3.00am Ford Football Special 4.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Wild Spirits

Sky Sports 2 6.00 The Secret Life Of Elephants See highlights. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the experts are in Dundee. Among the treasures unearthed are a valuable miniature clock smuggled out of Germany in World War 2, and the world’s first copying machine. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Lark Rise and Candleford rally around to show support for Laura’s new role in the post office when Dorcas is taken ill, Laura feels pressure mounting when anonymous letters arrive. Minnie sees one of the letters, and fears her past is catching up with her. 9.00 Charles Darwin And The Tree Of Life Documentary. Passionate Darwinian David Attenborough shares his view on Darwin’s ideas. He tracks the changes in our understanding of the natural world, and asks three key questions: How, and why, did Darwin come up with his theory? Why do most people think he was right? And why is it more important now than ever before? 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles introduces highlights from the day’s big matches in the Barclay’s Premier League. 11.00 Super Bowl Live Live coverage of one of the Super Bowl. 3.10am Weatherview 3.15 BBC News

6.00 James May’s Big Ideas James May sets off in a solar powered car to its limit, to Holland, where he meets the first Dutchman in space who has put away his rockets and has swapped them for kites. 7.00 Amazon With Bruce Parry Bruce Parry continues his Amazon adventure, travelling through the jungles of Peru to visit the Achuar people, a remote tribe who are fighting to keep oil companies off their land. 8.00 The Best Of Top Gear Classic clips from the archives. 9.00 Explore Does what it says on the tin. 10.00 High Altitude Mountain adventure programme.Graham Bell and British skier Noel Baxter have spent their lives trying to get down mountains as fast as they can. Now they attempt to do the opposite as they set out to climb Mont Blanc, Europe’s highest mountain. Ed takes actor Ralf Little skydiving onto a large glacier, then enjoys the remaining descent the old fashioned way: on skis. 10.30 FILM: The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (2005) See film highlights. 12.10am Junebug 1.55 BBC News

6.15 Meridian News and Weather 6.30 ITV News And Weather 6.45 Creature Comforts An itchyfooted meerkat hitchhikes to Bath, a giraffe without a work permit, a hyperactive ostrich, a territorial gorilla, a confused lion, a forgetful baboon and a lazy hippo talk about life behind the perimeter fence. 6.55 Dancing On Ice More ‘celebraties‘ either looking like Bambi on roller skates or one very snooty swan. Torvill and Dean, how do you keep a straight face? 8.30 Wild At Heart Max and Rosie finally make it down the aisle, but their happiness may not last. Du Plessis is devastated when Caroline tells him she will not be returning to Africa. 9.30 Dancing On Ice – The Skate Off It’s results time. 10.00 ITV News And Weather 10.15 Beyond The Footlights: The South Bank Show A look at the history and influence of the Cambridge Footlights. 11.15 FILM: Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life (1983) See film highlights. 1.20am Darts: Players’ Championships Highlights 2.15 Raines 3.00 Coastal Kitchen 3.25 Your Pound Abroad 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Christianity: A History Rageh Omar examines the legacy of the Crusades and the lasting impact on the relationship between the West and Islam. Rageh travels throughout Europe and the Middle East, speaking to historians and ordinary people in an effort to understand how events which took place 900 years ago continues to effect the relationship between not just the Western and Muslim worlds, but also the religions of Islam and Christianity. 8.00 FILM: The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) Comic book adventure in which a team of superheroes go on a mission to find out who is behind the war being waged against their Empire. Vampiress Mina, Dr Jekyll and the Invisible Man are all on the hunt for the mysterious warmongerer, who then turns out to be the cunning Fantom, who is planning to take over the world with his store of technologically advanced weapons. 10.05 Sunday Night Project Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr are joined by guest host Anne Robinson. 11.10 The Madness Of Boy George See highlights. 12.15am FILM: Kalifornia (1993) 2.30 Hill Street Blues 3.20 Tony Robinson And The Ghosts Of Glastonbury Abbey 4.20 Time Team 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Hoobs

6.05 FILM: There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble (2000) Comedy drama about a shy teenager living in Manchester who dreams of becoming a top footballer. Bullied at school and stigmatised by his support of Manchester City rather than Manchester United, he seems destined to sit on the substitutes’ bench of the school team. However, when an old woman gives him a pair of football boots that formerly belonged to a Man City star, his fortunes begin to improve. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers The truckers are called upon to help dismantle and move a massive drilling station. Rick is stuck waiting for repairs to his truck while Drew takes his first ride on the ocean ice. 9.00 FILM: Exit Wounds (2001) Crime thriller about a Detroit cop who is transferred to a tough inner-city precinct, where he unearths corruption and a sinister deal between the local police and narcotics dealers. 11.05 Soho Blues Documentary series profiling police work in the heart of London’s West End. 12.05am Lockdown X Games Extreme 1.55 Boxing Classic 2.25 Boxing USA 3.35 Now Is The Time: Night Of Combat – Kick Boxing 4.20 Rolex Grand Am 5.10 Out Of Practice x2

6.00am Premiership Rugby Union 7.00 NFL: Super Bowl XLIII Preview 8.00 Live Euro Tour Golf 1.00pm Gillette World Sport 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 International Cricket 5.00 NFL: Super Bowl XLIII Preview 6.00 America’s Game 7.00 America’s Game 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE International Cricket 9.00 LIVE International Cricket 1.00pm Premiership Rugby Union 2.00 Volvo Ocean Race 2.30 High Five 3.00 America’s Game 4.00 America’s Game 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Watersports World 7.00 International Cricket 9.00 WWE Experience 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am Golf Night 2.00 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Futurama (x4) 2.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 3.00 Futurama (x4) 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 9.00 Lost 10.00 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 11.00 Gladiators 12.00am Night Cops 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 Street Wars 2.40 The Villa

7.00pm The Wrong Door 7.05 Wallace And Gromit: A Matter Of Loaf And Death 7.35 FILM: Shrek (2001) 9.00 Being Human 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Grownups 11.15 Almost Famous 2 12.15am Being Human 1.15 Grownups 1.45 Naked 2.40 Almost Famous 2 3.40 The Real Hustle: High Stakes

7.00pm Stephen Fry In America 8.00 Folk America 9.00 Neil Young: Don’t Be Denied 10.00 In Concert: Neil Young 10.30 Catherine Deneuve Talks To Kirsty Wark 11.00 FILM: The Enigma Of Kaspar Hauser (1974) 12.50am BBC Four World Cinema Awards 2009 1.50 Stephen Fry In America 2.50 Folk America

12.55pm FILM: Back To The Future Part II (1989) 3.10 Planet’s Funniest Animals 3.40 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity Special 4.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 7.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 8.00 Demons 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 FILM: Die Hard 2 (1990) 12.25am FILM: Unbreakable (2000)

1.30pm Hornblower 3.40 Sherlock Holmes: Hound Of The Baskervilles 5.50 Goodbye Mr Chips 7.55 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Fallen Curtain 9.00 FILM: Murder In The First (1995) 11.35 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Bribery And Corruption 12.45am FILM: Nora Roberts Collection Montana Sky (2007)

11.30am The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll (x2) 1.20pm Beauty And The Geek 2.15 Crowned 3.10 Age Of Love 4.05 Ghost Whisperer 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 (x2) 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Big Momma’s House (2000) 10.50 Skins 11.55 Russell Brand’s Ponderland 12.30am Rude Tube

1.50pm Location, Location, Location (x5) 4.40 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 5.15 Celebrity Come Dine With Me (x4) 7.25 Jamie At Home 7.55 The Great Italian Escape (x2) 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 10.00 Half Ton Mum 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.15am Curb Your Enthusiasm

1.00pm FILM: The Karate Kid Part II (1986) 3.20 The Fix 3.30 Will And Grace 4.00 Exposed: Victoria Beckham 5.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 New Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 CSI (x3) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2)




Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



4.50pm The Green Green Grass Christmas Special 5.55 Only Fools And Horses 7.00 After You’ve Gone 7.40 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Seven Of One: I’ll Fly You For A Quid 10.20 Porridge 11.00 The Green Green Grass Christmas Special 12.05am Only Fools And Horses 1.10 After You’ve Gone

11.00am Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 12.00pm Frasier (x2) 1.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 2.00 Frasier (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Frasier (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 South Park (x13) 3.30am Frasier (x5)

10.00am How Stuff’s Made (X2) 11.00 How It’s Made (x2) 12.00pm Hitler’s Generals (x2) 2.00 Mythbusters (x5) 8.00 Survivorman 9.00 Alaska’s Great Race 10.00 Solved 11.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 12.00am Crime Museum UK With Martin Kemp (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am Haunted Homes 12.00pm FILM: Firestorm: Last Stand At Yellowstone (2006) 1.50 FILM: My Stepmother Is An Alien (1988) 4.00 Firefly 5.00 Firefly 6.00 Eli Stone 7.00 Triangle 9.00 FILM: Godsend (2004) 11.00 FILM: Cape Fear (1991) 1.30am FILM: Mimic: Sentinel (2003)

8.50am Holiday Inn (1942) 10.40 Duel In The Sun (1946) 12.55pm Broken Arrow (1950) 2.30 Titanic (1953) 4.15 The King And I (1956) 6.35 Oscar Nominations Special 7.05 Charade (1963) 9.00 Emperor Of The North (1973) 11.05 Titanic (1953) 12.45am Arabesque (1966)

9.00am Fire (1996) 10.55 Earth (1998) 12.45pm Southland Tales (2006) 3.25 December Boys (2007) 5.15 Oscar Nominations Special 5.45 Tell No One (2006) 8.00 Infamous (2006) 10.00 Southland Tales (2006) 12.40am Earth (1998) 2.30 The Top 10 Show 2.45 Tell No One (2006)

1.00pm The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) 2.45 Bless This House (1972) 4.30 The Bells Of St Mary’s (1945) 7.00 The Family Stone (2005) 9.00 Assault On Precinct 13 (2005) 11.05 Scream 3 (1999) 1.20am Love And Sex (2000) 3.10 Close

11.10am A Big Hand For The Little Lady (1966) 1.05pm Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951) 3.00 The Gumball Rally (1976) 5.00 Travels With My Aunt (1972) 6.55 Trial By Combat (1976) 8.30 Under The Influence: John Leguizamo 9.00 Serpico (1973) 11.25 Lost In America (1985) 1.15am Serpico (1973)





10:27 AM

Page 1

monday 2 Who Do You Think You Are? BBC1, 9pm Rory Bremner had an older father who died when he was just 18. Rory discovers his father’s wartime letters, in which he talks about a battle for Hertogenbosch. He learns about the part his father played in the post-war reconstruction and discovers he managed to find time to get to know the locals.

Whitechapel ITV1, 9pm DI Joseph Chandler is assigned to what looks like a case of domestic violence, but he finds an alternative theory from an expert on Jack the Ripper. Buchan points out the similarities between the murder and the Ripper’s killings – the race is on to catch the copycat before he strikes again.

Being Human BBC3, 10.30pm Comedy-drama about three housemates trying to live normal lives, despite the fact that one is a werewolf, one a vampire and the other a ghost. Mitchell, George and Annie have the house guest from hell – literally. Good crack at the originality whip, making this show worth your time.






Channel 4


Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under Revisited 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 One Minute Wonders 4.35 Half Moon Investigations 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Kid’s TV 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Telling Tales: English – The Town Rat And The Country Rat 11.15 Telling Tales: French – The Town Rat And The Country Rat 11.20 Primary History 11.40 Around Scotland: The Jacobites 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast: Coastal Erosion 1.05 Meerkat Manor 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Trash To Cash 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge Crossing the Atacama Desert in Chile, the team must battle crumbling scree slopes and perilous knife-edge ridges in the sweltering heat. It is a nightmare for ex-RAF navigator, Dessie, who is petrified of heights. 7.00 The Best Of Top Gear Classic clips from the archives. 8.00 University Challenge St John’s College, Cambridge do battle against City University. 8.30 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace are looking for the country’s next star chef. 9.00 Moses Jones A vibrant atmospheric thriller in the heart of London. 10.00 Not Going Out Sitcom. Unburdened by ambition or drive, Lee drifts from one ill-advised job to another, living off the goodwill and generosity of his landlady, Kate, a clean-living Californian. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis. 11.20 Around The World In 80 Faiths Pete Owen Jones presents the definitive guide to faith on Earth. He visits an obscure Shamanic sect in South Korea, and explores the meaning of non-attachment in Buddhist Thailand. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Timelines

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls

6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Tricky Business Two 10.00 KNTV - Philosophy 10.30 TV Is Dead? 11.05 Britain’s Deadliest Addictions 11.30 Year Dot 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 British Made 12.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.45 FILM: The Indian Fighter (1955) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons Homer purchases a handgun to protect his family, to Marge’s distress. And when Homer ignores her repeated requests to dispose of the weapon, she whisks herself and the children away to a seedy motel. 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy and Josh prepare for their first antenatal class. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Foreign Correspondents Series of short films in which directors from developing countries reveal how their preconceptions of Britain have been challenged since living here. 8.00 Dispatches: Congo’s Forgotten Children The series examines how the children of Congo are being affected by the conflict. Reporter Deborah Davies hears from youngsters in the east of the African republic as they describe the horrors they have witnessed. 9.00 Backstairs Billy: The Queen Mum’s Butler A rare insight into life inside Clarence House with a look at William Tallon, the long-serving butler to the Queen Mother. 10.00 FILM: Hotel Rwanda (2004) See film highlights. 12.20am Animate TV 1.25 For The Love Of God Dark 1.35 Minema 2.05 The Eternity Man 3.10 Hill Street Blues 4.00 Number Crew x2 5.40 Making It Arts and crafts x3

6.00am Kid’s Tv 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Chiro 8.50 Big School 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Ann Maurice: Interior Rivalry 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: Avalon: Beyond The Abyss (1999) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Football League: League Two 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.30am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Time Of Our Lives 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Time Of Our Lives 5.00 Max Power

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 Watchdog Consumer news and advice from the Watchdog office. 8.00 EastEnders Jane’s nightmare day goes from bad to worse, Janine makes her first mark on Walford, and Danielle reaches out to Ronnie. Ronnie she’s yer baybee! ‘Elp ‘er out, she’s a Mitchell. 8.30 Panorama Britain is bust and ordinary taxpayers are getting hammered, but it seems that the super-rich can still squirrel their money away in tax havens like Liechtenstein, Jersey and the Caymans. John Sweeney follows the missing millions, and asks if it is time to close the tax havens down. 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 FILM: Six Days, Seven Nights (1998) Romantic adventure in which a handsome but ill-tempered pilot and a beautiful magazine editor crash-land on a remote desert island and find themselves stranded. 12.10am Weatherview 12.15 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 1.15 Sign Zone: Holby City.2.15 Sign Zone: Stabbed: The Truth About Knife Crime 3.15 Sign Zone: Nicholas Crane’s Britannia 4.15 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News And Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lexi proposes to Carl. Aaron continues to run rings around Paddy. Mick struggles to balance work and family life. 7.30 Coronation Street Carla’s suspicions of Tony lead her to call at Maria’s. Tina feels increasingly uneasy about lying for David. Janice’s nursing ambitions prompt ridicule in the factory. 8.00 UK’s Most Wanted: Tonight An investigation into why a rising number of wanted foreign fugitives are entering the UK undetected. 8.30 Coronation Street Jed’s confession to Carla angers a murderous Tony. Will Tina continue to support David in his deception? Eddie’s darts scam is exposed – to the fury of the team. 9.00 Whitechapel See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.35 FILM: The Fast And The Furious (2001) High-octane action thriller about a cop who goes undercover in Los Angeles’s streetracing world in order to snare the villainous leader of a gang. 12.30am Wanted 1.20 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: 2.15 Loose Women 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 Home And Away Fire engulfs the school hall during the annual dance. 6.30 Zoo Days The keepers attempt to catch a poorly penguin who seems determined not to receive medical attention. Elsewhere, zoo curator Sarah has the job of feeding handreared cheetah cub Katavi, and a new arrival at the reindeer enclosure gives everyone a workout. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn presents a series examining the feats of science and engineering behind everyday life. 8.00 Fifth Gear Tiff and Jason race sports coupes; and Tom gets to grips with the world’s smallest four-seater – the Toyota iQ. 9.00 FILM: Edison (2005) Crime thriller trailing a naive journalist as he tries to expose corruption within the police force. With his life threatened, he teams up with a private investigator to try to bring down the system. 11.00 FILM: Ignition (2001) Political thriller about an ex-military helicopter pilot who was discharged due to anger-management problems. 1.00am USPGA Golf 1.50 A1 Grand Prix 2.40 AMA Supercross. 3.30 Race And Rally UK 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 NBA 360 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 International Cricket 12.00pm NFL: Super Bowl XLIII 3.00 Volleyball 4.00 Golf Night 6.00 Powder Adventures 6.30 Sailing 7.00 NFL: Super Bowl XLIII 10.00 Poker 12.00am NFL: Super Bowl XLIII 3.00 Big League Weekend 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 9.30am Sailing 10.00 Volleyball 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Golf Night 2.00 Powder Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 International Cricket 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Sailing 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 Live WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1








10.00am Stargate Atlantis (x2) 12.00pm Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 1.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 Standoff 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Gladiators 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 24 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Street Wars 12.00am The Final 24

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Grownups 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Being Human 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 Grownups 1.15 Being Human 2.15 The World’s Strictest Parents

7.00pm News 7.30 Transatlantic Sessions 8.00 The Sky At Night 8.30 The Book Quiz 9.00 Darwin’s Struggle: The Evolution Of The Origin Of Species 10.00 Olly And Suzi - Paint Predators: Storyville 11.00 Cowards 11.30 FILM: Inherit The Wind (1960) 1.35am The Sky At Night 2.05 The Book Quiz

12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: Unbreakable (2000) 11.10 Coronation Street (x2) 12.10am FILM: Gun Crazy (1992) 2.15 Teleshopping

12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Pie In The Sky 3.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Forensic Casebook With Matthew Kelly (x2) 10.00 Clocking Off 11.05 Crime Story 12.15am Inspector Morse

12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Samantha Who? 10.30 FILM: The 51st State (2001) 12.15am Scrubs (2) 1.20 My Name Is Earl 1.45 Smallville

3.00pm A Place By The Sea 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Country House Rescue 11.05 ER 12.05am Brothers And Sisters 1.05 Relocation, Relocation

11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (X2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (X2) 8.00 CSI 9.00 America’s Next Top Model 10.00 Lipstick Jungle 11.00 CSI 12.00am Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Charmed




Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies



5.00pm Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 The Green Green Grass 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.20 The Royle Family 11.00 Men Behaving Badly 11.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.20am Sorry!

1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men 12.40 Frasier (x2)

1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 Chop Shop (x2) 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 The Invisible Man 2.00 Angel 3.00 Triangle 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 Haunted Homes 9.00 Eli Stone 10.00 Medium 11.00 Dead Like Me 12.00am FILM: Godsend (2004) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)

12.35pm Here Come The Waves (1944) 2.20 The Lady Eve (1941) 3.55 White Savage (1943) 5.15 Road To Utopia (1945) 6.50 Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 9.00 Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 10.40 Too Late The Hero (1970) 12.55am Hail The Conquering Hero (1944)

12.40pm Ten Canoes (2006) 2.15 Mo’ Better Blues (1990) 4.25 The Escapist (2001) 6.00 Water (2005) 7.55 Gloria (1980) 10.00 Body Shots (1999) 11.50 Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version Of The War Of The Worlds 1.45am Hana-Bi (1997) 3.30 Hollywood Bombs & Blockbusters

1.00pm Never Love A Stranger (1958) 3.00 An American Guerrilla In The Philippines (1950) 5.05 The Grass Is Greener (1960) 7.05 David Fincher On Benjamin Button 7.10 Cheaper By The Dozen 2 (2005) 9.00 Out Of Time (2003) 11.05 Alien Resurrection (1997) 1.10am Amelie (2001) 3.35 Close

9.15am Tall Man Riding (1955) 10.40 The Sins Of Rachel Cade (1961) 1.00pm Five Days One Summer (1983) 3.00 Downhill Racer (1969) 4.55 Promise Her Anything (1966) 6.55 The Boy Who Could Fly (1986) 9.00 Children Of A Lesser God (1986) 11.15 Superfly (1972) 12.55am Children Of A Lesser God (1986)



Latest Seven: Issue 408 27 Jan - 2 Feb  

Flying High: Great food and a relaxed atmosphere at Birdcage Walk. David Van Day: Out of the jungle and back in the fast lane & much more…