Latest 7 Magazine: Issue 388 2 - 8 September 2008

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

★ jobs ★ cars ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 2 – 8 September 2008

FREE WEEKLY

wizards of oz circus oz bring their brand-new high-energy show to brighton dome page 15

monkeying around the blow monkeys swing into town exclusive! manumission legends take over the ocean rooms

knit one pearl one beating the fuel price crisis

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Contents

Welcome

★ latest jobs 4

We’re still hoping for a bit of Indian sunshine, but as we move into autumn, it might be time to start thinking about scheduling a few more indoor events in your diary. On page 15, read about Circus Oz, the celebrated Australian circus coming to Brighton Dome this month. We have a family ticket to give away – find out how to enter in competitions (p6), where you can also win tickets to see 80s Live! in Eastbourne.

Meanwhile on the art page, Jeff Hemmings previews a stencil graffiti exhibition opening this week (p22).

Famous Ibiza club promoters are to take over Brighton’s Ocean Rooms. It is hoped that Tom and Danni King, responsible for Sleazeville at Manumission, will breathe new life into one of Brighton’s longest running and best known clubs. The couple chose to speak exclusively to our club writer Jaime Pettit about their plans – read the interview on page 11.

Elsewhere in the news section, Phil Mills finds out how a charity is encouraging elderly people to prepare for higher fuel bills this winter (p13). Sports writer Joe Curtin considers racism in football (p14) and we’ve had another letter about Robert Stuart Nemeth’s architecture column – has he written about your street yet?

In events, Zara Baker has details of a Sussex Wildlife Trust family day this weekend (p26) – fingers crossed for good weather. On the same page, read an interview with celebrated children’s illustrator Nick Sharratt and find out how to win his latest Daisy books.

As always we’ve got reviews of the biggest Brighton and Sussex events. Turn to the reviews page to hear Nick Aldwinckle’s verdict on Loop Festival (p21) or see page 7 to find out what Alison made of Beachdown.

The Blow Monkeys are back and they’re coming to Brighton – Jeff has talked to frontman Dr Robert about their upcoming gig next week at Komedia (p27) and has reviewed their new album (p29).

In CelebCity (p9), Steve Coogan seems to have a bee in his bonnet about Keanu Reeves; which makes me wonder if the two have crossed paths in Hollywood?

Columnist Will has won out in a staring contest and his prize is a beautiful strawberry blond. Read his tips on flirting with a stranger in Latest Gay (32).

It’s all glamour and babies on page 17, with resident model Sandra reminiscing about her first job and Zara Baker looking at healthy ways of coping with pregnancy.

In the comedy column, Victoria wonders if she would ever bottle it minutes before going on stage (p22).

To comment on anything in this issue, email letters@thelatest.co.uk

★ latest listings 21–41

4 Top digital media jobs, telemarketing,

21 Reviews and listings index

office admin and managerial roles

The shows we’re raving about

★ latest upfront 6–10 6 Bar Lion d’Or opens after a refurb: see who made the party in Social Diary

6 Win Circus Oz and 80s Live! tickets!

7 Alison senses magic in the air 8 Dani’s diary: she’s rightly proud, but has had enough Special K, thank you

9 Steve Coogan takes on Keanu Reeves 10 Bare cheek: Uncle Nick’s love advice

22 Comedy Fight or flight? As the gigs get bigger, nerves set in for some comics

22 Art 23 Stage All the backstage drama in Noises Off

24 Film What’s new on the big screen

26 Kids and events Indian Summer and going back to nature with the Sussex Wildlife Trust

★ latest news 11–14

26 Books

11 Jaime talks exclusively to the clubbing

27 Music

gurus revolutionising the Ocean Rooms

13 Phil Mills: pensioners take the initiative to beat rising fuel prices

14 Letters and sport: your say; and Joe Curtin looks at racism in management

★ latest lifestyle 15–20 15 Cover story: it’s a laugh at Brighton Dome as Circus Oz rolls into town

17 Model city: Sandra’s wedding dress 17 Health: pregnancy in a modern world 18 Food: Andrew’s well fed at Gravetye Manor in East Grinstead

19 Hot list: The best cafés and

09

Stencil History X at Ink_d

Brighton resident Nick Sharratt illustrates the Daisy children’s series

80s band the Blow Monkeys reform and return to Brighton: Jeff Hemmings gets the lowdown Brighton Latest Download Chart

TOP

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40

31 Clubs and music listings Make it a long weekend with Sundelicious at the Honey Club

32 Gay Will meets a strawberry blond with a naughty smile, plus news and listings

34 Television Dani gets a patriotic boost via a new show. Plus classic films on the box, and your seven-day guide

restaurants around the city

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Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Editor Rachel Pegg

Business Director Angi Mariani

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Website Manager Paul Burgess

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Art Director Stephen King

Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle

Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Staff Writers Craig Driver Dani Winch Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Faye Perriam Steve Sawyer Sub Editors Joe Curtin Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Sophie Longhurst Marie Viviani

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Administration Claire Peerless Sara Henfridsson

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor latest 7 3

004_LS388_Wired Sussex

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Top Media Jobs Account Managers – iCrossing iCrossing is a global digital marketing company. We require Account Managers for both our London and Brighton offices to proactively retain and develop the client relationship and income to iCrossing. You will be responsible for a wide portfolio of Blue Chip clients and manage your portfolio as though you are managing your own business.

Web Editor – West Sussex County Council We need someone with solid news sense who knows how to grab the attention of young people and is prepared to work closely with them. You'll have your finger on the pulse of the latest Web 2.0 developments. Ideally you'll already have experience as a web editor and be full of good ideas for ways to boost visitor numbers. You'll join a small friendly team and be expected to show initiative and the ability to work well in a busy news environment.

Online PR and Copywriter – Leapfrogg Ltd With a fast growing portfolio of clients, Leapfrogg have an exciting opportunity for a creative copywriter to come on board and help our clients to communicate effectively with their target audience through exciting web copy, interesting articles and targeted press releases.

Sales and Marketing Manager PT – Plug-in Media We have an exciting opportunity for a talented and motivated sales professional, with a broad knowledge of interactive digital media. Plug-in Media is an award-winning, Brighton-based company with a high profile client list in the UK and beyond.

Systems Administrator – Brandwatch (formerly Magpie) Brandwatch is a cutting edge software company, whose business sits at the crossroads of 3 very exciting and very new technologies: the web, search and natural language analysis. The role demands a mixture of technical and interpersonal skills providing desktop support for all employees.

Content Manager – NCsoft Europe NCsoft is the world's leading online gaming company. Reporting to the Creative Services Manager, the Content Manager is responsible for managing and supporting the Content division of the Creative Services team. The Content Manager is responsible for a variety of management and content-related tasks across all NCsoft products and services.

Content Writer – NCsoft Europe Reporting to the Content Manager, the Content Writer is responsible for the creation, editing and publishing of a variety of content-related tasks across all NCsoft products and services.

Freelance Web Designers – Makemedia Based in the heart of Brighton’s North Laine, Makemedia is a young but very busy digital media agency. We are currently looking for passionate, talented and experienced freelance Web designers, Developers and possibly anyone with related skills who lives in Brighton and the surrounding areas.

Account Manager – WPM Education WPM Education is the leading supplier of web-based payment solutions to the UK’s higher and further education sectors. With over 60 clients and substantial sales growth from existing and new prospects there is now an opportunity for an Account Manager to join our successful team. Our solutions focus on providing innovative systems to allow our clients to collect payments for goods and services online as well as providing facilities to manage and collect installments, memberships and subscriptions.

HTML / Junior Developers – The Friday Group Friday-Ad offer a variety of online products and services to its customers, these range from the creation of websites to the import of data-feeds. Due to our rapidly increasing customer base we are looking to significantly expand the team that supports these services. As part of the roles available you will be exposed to a wide range of technologies and where appropriate training will be given.

Web Content Editor - East Sussex County Council This is an exciting time to join our award winning Web Services Team. We are facing new and exciting challenges as we plan to increase the offering of our site and attract more residents to use our online services. We will also be continuing with the re-development of the staff intranet.

ASP.NET / C# Developer– Cubework Cubeworks is a digital agency working for a diverse range of clients creating content-managed websites, web applications and internet marketing campaigns using the latest .NET technologies. Current clients include the NSPCC, Sanyo, Chichester College and EMAP. We offer the opportunity to learn from an accomplished team of developers and the chance to have a big impact in a small company.

Web designer / developer – SceneStealer SceneStealer is a Brighton based digital production company. We specialise in producing interactive video for the web. We specialise in interactive video and KnickerPicker is our most recent project. We're looking for a full time designer with amazing Flash skills to work with us on some really exciting projects. We'd like to employ someone that has skills in these areas.

Office Manager – Dreamteam Design Ltd Handling inbound support call, including initial qualification, getting information and assisting in simple cases, organising support team work and telephone support availability, providing administrative support to other support team members and managing customer expectations of a response through Help Desk.

Project Manager – Greenhouse Design Ltd As our new project manager, you’ll assist in running projects for our clients and manage our growing number of support services. You will be working closely with our clients, as well as our Development and Design teams.

Overall, you’ll be looking to develop your skills further and be happy to get involved with all aspects of the business.

Telemarketing Executive – Caburn Hope Ltd Caburn Hope is a marketing and communications agency. An opportunity has arisen for an experienced B2B telemarketing person to work within our sales team. Proven track record of qualified appointments and sales success required.

Senior Interface Designer – Ribot The successful candidate will be working on a number of high-profile projects, so we're looking for someone who is organised, and feels at home working both independently and in a close team. You'll be required to create visual concepts and tangible manifestations of experiences (such as prototypes), and establish / manage visual UI libraries for the ribot team to use / reuse.

Are you looking to recruit?

Are you looking to expand your digital media business and recruit new staff?

Wired Sussex can help. Our jobs board is viewed by over 10,000 digital media hopefuls every month, plus all job posters get to search through our CV database. Interested? Call Luke at Wired Sussex today to find out more: 01273 692 888

No agents or middlemen, just great jobs online! For more info: www.wiredsussex.com/jobs

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latest

jobs

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

Call Centre Agents

Sales Executive

Brighton – £7.00–£11.00ph

Worthing – £20k–£25k

Are you target driven and motivated by money?

If you have a confident telephone manner and enjoy earning lots of money, we are looking for part-time and full-time call centre agents to join an established lively team. The company is based in the heart of Brighton and offers a fun and lively environment.

A successful, motivated salesperson is required for a business-to-business sales role. As the role develops and knowledge of the product range grows, the role will include proactively increasing the customer base, visiting customers, attending trade shows and contacting existing customers with new products.

Resourcer

Field Sales Executive

Brighton – £16k + commission

Worthing £30k–£40k

Our client is a specialist recruitment consultancy in Brighton, looking for a resourcer. This is a challenging role offering an excellent opportunity to work in a rewarding and target driven environment and learn how to recruit, working alongside trained consultants.

The focus of this role is to secure and attend appointments with potential clients in the South East and London. Strong account management skills are necessary. A company car, mobile phone and laptop are provided.

Recruitment Consultant

Quality Control Laboratory Manager

Brighton – £18k–£23k + commission You will generate business through a range of standard or bespoke recruitment solutions. You will be expected to focus on market sectors that you have experience or interest in. Educated to degree level, and/ or proven track record in recruitment, excellent communication skills, ability to be persuasive and negotiate, highly motivated,tenacious,competitive and target orientated.

Brighton – £40k An exciting opportunity to head up a growing QC laboratory recently transferred to brand new facilities within an expanding Pharmaceutical manufacturing company located on the South Coast. You will have the opportunity to work in a fast-paced environment where you will be managing and developing a team of

analysts to achieve company goals and objectives.

Reporting to the Associate Director GMP QA, you will manage a team of 10 staff (working on two shifts) responsible for QC functions such as Raw Material and FPS testing, method development, method validation, contract laboratory services, GMP, GLP and Health and Safety.

Senior Web Developer Near Haywards Heath – £30k Are you proficient in working with W3C standards?

This busy web design agency has an opportunity for an established web developer to join their creative team. Experience of web services, PHP, JavaScript, ActionScript would be advantageous.

Outbound Sales Advisors Worthing - £16,368 + commission This is a large international company that offers excellent training. The role will involve warm calling existing customers with a view to cross – selling other products. Fantastic scope for progression for someone with good customer service and sales skills.

latest

jobs Do you have Job Vacancies you need to fill?

Why not advertise your vacancies within Latest 7 and reach over 100,000 readers?

Latest 7 produces a successful job section every week, covering positions from admin roles to senior managers and account directors.

From only £100 throughout September.

Call Marie for details on 01273 818150 ext 102 or email marie@thelatest.co.uk www.latest7.co.uk/jobs www.latest7.co.uk/jobs

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LATESTDIARY

COMPETITIONS

latestdiary

IN IT TO WIN IT

With Tim Richardson

An 80s flashback and the circus!

Circus Oz family ticket

Refurb for Bar Lion D’Or On Thursday 21 August 2008, Bar Lion d’Or relaunched after a refurbishment. The interior is what initially attracts the vast number of wine connoisseurs to this stylish modern bar.

However, for Geoffrey Walker who has been a patron for more than 12 years and local customers who use the bar regularly – whether for an early morning coffee or a late night bottle of champagne – the essence is in the relaxed, friendly atmosphere created both by the ambience of the surroundings and the professionalism of the staff.

A wide range of wines, served in elegant glasses, is complemented by a vast selection of bottled beers from around the world. The Bar Lion D’Or is that somewhere special for the discerning customer. It is ideal as anything from a business lunch venue to a meeting place for pre-dinner drinks.

Ray Williams, Robbie Raggio, Dave Day, Anton Reardon (Events Co-ordinator Golden Lion Inns)

The Internationally acclaimed Circus Oz comes to Brighton Dome from 24–26 September and we have a family ticket (two adults and two children) up for grabs. This show sees Circus Oz celebrating their 30th birthday bash and they plan to do it in style!

Circus Oz party planners have been in full swing to ensure this special birthday show is one to remember, featuring classic Circus Oz favourites along with the world premiere appearance of brand new cast members, new acts, new musicians and plenty of new gags!

Expect an awe-inspiring display of physical prowness with the team of young aerialists and acrobats, teamed with irreverent Australian humour and original live music.

Latest 7 have teamed up with the Brighton Dome to offer readers the chance to win a spectacular family ticket to this special show. To be in with a chance of winning, just tell us: Oz is the nickname for which continent? a. Asia b. Antarctica c. Australia

80s Live! in Eastbourne

Let the Games begin Local aspiring athletes and dignitaries joined together to ‘Fly the Flag’ on Brighton seafront in association with Brighton and Hove City Council to recognise the official handover of the Olympic Games to London and the start of the Sussex Games on Sunday 24 August 2008.

In the first part and due to our lovely summer weather, the event was moved inside to the Brighton Centre. There were performances from Brighton Judo Club and the Funkstarz and appearances from Paralympian Ben Quilter and hip hop dancer JP Omari (from BBC1’s Strictly Dance Fever).

The sun eventually shone, allowing the raising of the handover flag on Brighton seafront by Deputy Mayor Councillor Carol Theobald. For more information and bookings for the Sussex Games 2008 that run until the 14 September 2008 visit www.sussexsport.org.

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A special show takes place at Eastbourne’s Winter Garden theatre on Saturday 13 September and you could be there! 80s Live! is a mammoth musical fundraising event, featuring some of the biggest names in music from the 1980s on the stage.

Carol Decker from T’Pau will be there, as will Katrina (formerly Katrina and the Waves), Curiosity Killed The Cat, Sonia, Stephen Singleton of ABC and more!

Relive the decade of big hair, shoulder pads, shell suits and great anthems.

Hosted by the dynamic trio Steve Crow, Steve Flower and Fiona Tate, 80s Live! sees music stars performing not for their own profiles but a good cause: All of the funds raised will be going to the Muscular Dystrophy Campaign. The Campaign has pioneered the search for treatments and cures for over 45 years. Also providing practical, medical and emotional support for people affected by the conditions. www.muscular-dystrophy.org During the day there will also be an ‘Acoustic Café’ at Blue Bar, Eastbourne (midday onwards), where a variety of artists will be performing.

Including DARUSO, Leif K, Tuan Mac, Sascha, Iris & the Wolves, Beth Charles, Daniel Angelus, & many more.

The after show party will be at Eastbourne’s Funktion Rooms with live PAs from Maria Angeli, DARUSO and celebrity DJs. A Silent Auction will take place to raise further funds for the charity, with amazing lots, including a Fender Telecaster Guitar which is signed by the Arctic Monkeys. Other prizes include a week in a luxury Spanish villa courtesy of Spanish Golfing Rentals and many more.

To be in with a chance of winning one of three pairs of tickets to 80 Live! at Eastbourne’s Winter Garden Theatre, just tell us: What was the name of the track Katrina and the Waves performed to win the Eurovision Song Contest? a. Walking on Sunshine b. Love Shine a Light c. China in your Hand See below for full entry details.

To be in with a chance of winning, email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Tuesday 9 September.

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ALISON’SCOLUMN

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Swanning around Injured Alison Swann proves she’s not a stick in the mud at Beachdown festival

Could it be magic?

I wasn’t going to go, but at the last minute, it seemed rude not to.

I’ve been trying to see the Magic Numbers for some time now. The first was about three years ago down at the Concorde 2. My brother had brought my ex and I tickets, so we went along with him and ended up rowing because my ex declared it wasn’t fun to watch fat hairy people sing. I was horrified and embarrassed as this comment was made rather publicly. Years on I am pleased to report that said ex is now fatter than any member of the Magic Numbers and that hairy beardy look is now simply damn cool. So that night a screaming row and the very public dismemberment of a relationship drowned out the band.

“At the eleventh hour, having recovered enough to do a one-crutch wobble, I snagged a ticket.

Finally, what could possibly go wrong?”

The second chance came at Latitude Festival last year. The sun was shining and the ex was ex. I was there with my mates and getting ready to enjoy the Friday night line-up, which was to conclude in the Magic Numbers headlining. After a deeply chaotic drive to Norfolk, when I feared for my life on several occasions – as Sister Bernadine of the Holy Consumption steered a scarily powerful car through the back lanes of flat land, we arrived on site. Finally a grown-up festival, well kind of.

Grown-up in that everyone was slightly older, behaviour, nah. The Scot and I had been suitably princess-like and sent our tent along to be put up by the boys the night before. So, soon after we arrived, it was feet first let’s get on with the business of seeing the bands. Late afternoon and the action was all in the woods. Bonde de Role were being bonkers in the Sunrise Arena surrounded by people spilling out onto the pine needles and chilling out before the night time action on the main stage.

It was there I got chatting to a fit guy I had been circling here in Brighton for a few months, and well that festival fruity feeling over took the desire to go see any bands and once again I missed seeing the

Magic Numbers. I could hear them from my snogging venue under a tree at the back of the park. But, well I was busy.

Third time round and for a while it was looking not so lucky. I found out the Magic Numbers were playing at this year’s Beachdown festival after I had booked my holiday. Ah, well just not meant to be. Then I knackered my foot and said holiday was put back a month. Tickets were floating around and I was offered the chance. I felt guilty, thinking my hop along stance would negate my ability to go – I was having enough trouble limping out of the car to get into the office in the morning, let alone swing around on the South Downs in various states of mental undress, so I passed. Then at the eleventh hour, having recovered enough to do a one-crutch wobble, I snagged a ticket.

Finally, what could possibly go wrong? Well as it happened this time nothing. I got up to the festival site early on Saturday evening and waving my wand of power (crutch) hobbled in. After tracking down brave buddies who had been camping since Thursday and taking in the fab view, I negotiated the, er hmm, rather challenging lay out. That lovely big dip was a great amphitheatre for the main stage, but rubbish for rapid movement for anyone but serious hill walkers.

Anyway, after a little swing around in the bouncing Beach bar it was time to wobble down the hill for a bit of main stage action. I got the fear for a moment as rain started to flick its way through the end of the Reverend and the Makers set. But by the time the headliners came out on stage I was snuggled up in the middle of a roaring festival crowd and there was no getting away from it, I might just get to see them.

Woooah! And I did. And they were great, I sang along like a loon whilst waving my crutch and we even forgot about it being ‘a bit nippy’ for a while. And as the lights of Brighton shone out in the distance, Beachdown had done good. Finally I got to see the magic.

Comments? Get in touch: alison@thelatest.co.uk

latestcrossword Cryptic 159 ACROSS 5 Turn the avenue over to find Iris (4) 7 Gardener in charge of playgroup?

(10) 8 In the Far East, drinkers admit Siamese leaders (4) 10 Man in pursuit of surfeit of sin (8) 11 Four walls do not necessarily make one, they say (6) 12 Language in which man takes tea (6) 14 Position adopted by man with contemptible ends (6) 16 The circle or part of it attracts muscular convulsion (6) 17 Eternal trouble in gun den (8) 19 Stop turning the wood (4) 21 Tyranny by which I'm somehow involved in offer of money (10) 22 Start to regret being loyal (4)

solutions on page 32

Quick 159 DOWN 1 Ancient ten killed off member of persecuted civilisation (4) 2 Killer of two beasts at home (8) 3 Monster caught by doctor with silver circle on a pole (6) 4 The morning to get the President in surprise attack (6) 5 One's beginning to join up (4) 6 Preacher woman with new singlet (10) 9 Election official brings about Crete's ruin (10) 13 Blue cat - one dissolved as a fossil (8) 15 Musician's poser takes varied forms (6) 16 Knowledge steeped in pictures of silver (6) 18 Sand heap made bare (4) 20 Worker getting the cards (4)

ACROSS 5 Secret police (4) 7 Bandit (10) 8 Public school (4) 10 Indented (8) 11 Tree (6) 12 Nap (6) 14 Unborn being (6) 16 Chub (6) 17 Actor (8) 19 Scottish island (4) 21 Music machine (10) 22 Stupefy (4).

DOWN 1 Footwear item (4) 2 Candle-maker (8) 3 Soft tissue (6) 4 Fishing boats (6) 5 Burden (4) 6 Walker (10) 9 Victorious (10) 13 Vision (8) 15 Brood-pouch (6) 16 Ravine (6) 18 Emblem (4) 20 Summit (4).

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8/27/08

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EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani is proud of her sister and follows her into academia, and she is perplexed by our nation’s body-image confusion Last week my sister wrote about her forthcoming exam results. Well, she got them and she did fantastically.

If I could I would personally stick two very big fingers up at all those prats who keep claiming that the reason people are passing is because the exams are getting easier. Have these people actually sat the exams and done the course work? I doubt it. Each year they say the same thing. How about a congratulations every now and then?

You can tell I am proud of my little sister. She did what I couldn’t be bothered to try and do. She got into her first choice university and even got the room she had asked for.

You don’t hear the newspapers and their reporters saying we won more medals at the Olympics because the competitions have become easier do you? No! Well, my moan should be over by now but I don’t really want it to be. It really bothers me. Why do we not allow ourselves to be proud of anything? Or at least why do those people who seem to have the opinions that make it on to the news always put a massive dampener on everything.

“In September I’ll be starting work towards a degree. I’m going to need extra hours in the day” So as my sister heads off to live on campus I embark on my own adventure, albeit closer to home. In September I will be starting work towards a degree. I will be working full-time, writing this and doing a degree. I am going to need to create extra hours in the day to be able to make it work, but I can try if I want to.

On an entirely different note: please can someone tell me what is wrong with the body of the woman in the new Special K advert? To me she looks perfectly fine – nice and curvy. But she still needs to diet so she can look exactly the same? I hate Special K adverts. Not one of the people in the ads actually loses any weight or needs to for that matter. I’m continually bothered by this whole weight issue. Especially when my friends feel they need to diet when in actual fact they look fine – more than fine.

Since when did we stop learning to love what we have? (I mean this only to a degree; the morbidly obese should learn to exercise.) There was that woman in the newspapers not so long ago who had become the fattest woman to have triplets (or something along those lines). How is she going to be able to care for three children when she clearly doesn’t respect herself?

I understand that some people just can’t help the size they are. And it is the same when the tables are turned. I cannot help that I am skinny. I would give anything to grow a few inches and put on a few pounds, and generally look like a woman rather than a girl but it doesn’t seem to happen. Pick up a girls’ magazine nowadays and you will find a column on how we should love our curves and on the next page details on how to become Kate Moss thin. Is it any wonder we eat cereal three times a day!

For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that.

No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

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009_LS388_celebcity

8/28/08

2:37 PM

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AROUNDTOWN

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

sponsored by

Steve peeves Reeves Hove resident Steve Coogan won’t be getting a Christmas card from US actor Keanu Reeves this year. Coogan, who will soon be setting off on his live UK tour, has named his new rent boy character after the Matrix star.

Steve said in a recent interview, “I play a gay rent boy. He changed his name by deed poll to Keanu Reeves, because that’s one of the people he likes. He has very, very modern hair, wears low-cut jeans and scarves and he stares and he tries to look pale and interesting. He’s normally on something and is a compulsive liar”. You can catch Steve doing all of his favourite characters including Keanu at the Brighton Centre on Friday 21 November. For bookings go to www.brightoncentre.co.uk

At the first stroke The famous British institution that is the speaking clock has lost its sponsor! Brighton voiceover artist Sara Mendes Da Costa who reads the famous lines has now had to re-record, losing the “sponsored by Accurist”.

The speaking clock began in 1963 and still ‘clocks’ up over 70 million dial-ins every year.

Clocked Three cheers for Brighton funny girl Zoe Lyons Brighton comedian Zoe Lyons scooped a comedy award from TV channel Dave with a dig at troubled singer Amy Winehouse. Zoe’s joke has been officially declared the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.

Her winning one-liner was, “I can’t believe Amy Winehouse self-harms.

She’s so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her.”

The 33-year-old, from Brighton, made the joke in her show, Mangled Mantra of the Messed-up Modern Mind. She scooped the prize in the inaugural comedy awards from the TV channel which bills itself ‘the home of witty banter’. Zoe said after receiving the award “I am absolutely delighted to have won the award. I know self-harming is not funny but it’s just a joke, so I’m not going to beat myself up about it.”

She received almost 12 per cent of the public vote and takes home the Dave Award for the Funniest Joke of the Fringe and a cash prize.

Zoe is not shy of winning awards, at her debut at Edinburgh last year with her solo show Fight or Flight, she was nominated for an If.comedy best newcomer award.

We love you, yeah, yeah, yeah!

If you are a Beatles fan then head down to the Naked Eye Gallery on Western Road in Hove. Legendary snapper Tom Murray is showing his limited edition shots of the fab four, taken in 1968. The exhibition is called Mad Day Out, Summer of 1968 and runs from 29 August until the end of September. For more information on opening times call the gallery on 01273 204800.

Brighton meets Scotland Spotted: Glaswegian band Glasvegas in Brighton last week. The new darlings of the music press did a live promo gig at HMV in Churchill Square on bank holiday Monday.

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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8/27/08

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ONLY JOKING!

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Bare cheek

Ask Uncle Nick

Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Nick Cave solves all your relationship problems

Spotted! With the stereotypically drunk toff from the Laurel and Hardy films Ahhh… Hello… I say, now… You fellows… Good Lord – look over there! Coming out of the Pitcher and Piano – two Kirsty Youngs.

Delighted to meet you [raises hat to lamp post]… Do you think you could direct me to Fifth Avenue? Thank you officer– Well I’ll be horsewhipped! If it isn’t two Jeremy Paxmans and a couple of Andrew Marrs walking into the Grand.

Thank you… Just a little drinkie [sings snatch of ‘Sweet Adeline’]. Just one more… Little drinkie… Then I’ll be away back home… I say! You there! Good gravy! It’s half a dozen Alan Titchmarshes buying ice creams on the pier, dontcha know.

Stop thief! That man has my wallet! Oh sorry, my mistake – it’s here in my pocket… I say, isn’t that 16 Craig Davids looking in an estate agent’s window over there? That’s swell! Hic! Now… Now… Now unhand me! I’m a very influential… Take your hands off me! I’ve a perfect right to be here! I’m serfectly pober… I mean… I’m poberby serfect. Police! Police! Oh – over there by the Pavilion, isn’t that a great big purple Patrick Kielty? Or do my eyes deceive me? Ha ha ha! [Sings ‘Sweet Adeline’ again. Falls over.]

In & Out IN

OUT

• h&p@bbc.

• Sticky Moments

• Chapped lips

• Youth clubs

• In the absence of a fridge, keeping a pint of milk from going off in hot weather by keeping it in a bowl of cold water, weighed down with a hardback book

• King Zog • Finding Benny Hill quite attractive when he’s dressed up as a female newsreader • Overeating

• A good old-fashioned pea souper • The Enderby novels

Astral Angi ★Finding truth in the stars★

Dear Uncle Nick, An ex-girlfriend, who I haven’t seen for what must be 15 years, recently got in touch.

She wants to meet up, and has made it pretty clear she wants to rekindle our relationship.

Part of me thinks this would be a great idea (I’ve been single for a while), but the other part thinks it would be a terrible mistake. What should I do?

Mr F, Hanover Uncle Nick says: Strewth! Listen to me, you galah: you can’t go home again, as Thomas Wolfe once said. Only a drongo would think otherwise.

Face it, mate: the problems that split you up in the first place will still be there, and even if they aren’t, it’s always a mistake in life to take a step backwards. Look at me – last week I got an email out of the blue from Polly Jean Harvey, asking if I had any creosote, as she was putting up a shed. Well I knew what she was really after, so I ignored the email, and I advise you to do the same, if you know what’s good for you.

Dear Uncle Nick, My husband and I have been together for 12 years and, not to put too fine a point on it, our sex life has become a little dull. I’m even considering an affair with someone at work, just for some excitement. What should we do?

Ms MN, Brighton

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

Uncle Nick says: Strewth! Two words: role play. It’s ideal for putting a little spice back in a relationship that has become moribund. I myself enjoy dressing up as a centurion, with my partner playing the part of Caesar’s wife. This is always great fun, although once the rest of Grinderman popped round unexpectedly while I was still wearing the costume, which was a bit embarrassing. I had to pretend I was getting into character for writing a concept album about the Battle of Carrhae. Honestly, the scrapes Grinderman get into, they should do a sitcom about us, they really should. So anyway – role play, that’s your answer. And possibly sex toys as well.

Dear Uncle Nick, It’s me and my wife’s silver wedding anniversary coming up, and I’d like to buy her something really nice. Any suggestions?

Mr K, Hove Uncle Nick says: Strewth! Listen mate, if you want my advice, don’t try anything clever. It’ll all just go horribly wrong. Stick with the three things all sheilas have liked since time immemorial: flowers, choccies, or a CD. I recommend Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!! by yours truly. Heh heh heh.

Anyway, I’d better be off.

Midsomer Murders starts in five minutes. Keep those letters coming, you drongos!

Nick xxx

BARDSLEY’S

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).

Frustrations will arise from people who simply will not do as they are told. Do not despair: if they will not do it for you then do it for yourself – behind closed doors if necessary.

Intuition is your strength right now so make the most of it. Listen to your heart about what loved ones need. And let’s face it:: loved ones need a lot. If in doubt, go out for a drink alone.

Is your partner holding back on your relationship? If the answer is ‘yes’ then find another one who will go along with your ideas. It may not, if canny, be necessary to ditch the first.

Someone close to your heart either cannot make up their mind or is simply playing silly beggars with you. Do you need this or would you be better off on your own? Think hard before acting.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Right now you will find yourself totally in sync with someone you love. Being Taurean that could mean being in love with yourself. Don’t knock it, who else knows what you like as well as you do?

Faced with difficult decisions, Leos need to listen to loved ones and take actions based on what they hear. Or at least pretend to; we all know that Leo will do what Leo wants.

Stop telling everyone what you want, what you really, really want. It’s boring and it’s vulgar. Have you never heard of mystery, magic and romance? No? Oh I give up.

Stop spoiling your lover. Do something nice for yourself today, something decadent or indulgent. Remember that Belgian chocolate truffles will melt in a sauna and look nasty.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Right now you have no ability to focus or concentrate. I may as well leave it at that.

Abandon any projects that are now boring you. A partner should be encouraged to pick up the pieces of any unfinished Airfix models or paintby-numbers pictures.

Take a good hard look at all that you see and hear today. Is there a hidden meaning, a message, a metaphor?

Lovers may need a push towards being more forthcoming in their desires.

If your partner is down in the dumps then spoil them, take them out for a nice meal. The stars highly recommend the skate knobs at Bardsleys, which will certainly rise to the occasion.

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To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

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8/29/08

12:26 PM

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latest news No nonsense, just news. Send your stories to: news@thelatest.co.uk

Photos: Rob DeBanks

Jaime Pettit has exclusive news about what the future has in store for Brighton’s Ocean Rooms

New currents Bursting into what appears to be a sea bar affected by a lack of gravity, I join Tom King and Danni at Blanch House for a much craved coffee hit.

The filthy duo behind Sleazeville@Manumission have spent the past three months serving up monthly doses of Spunk@Brighton Coalition.

The infamous night of debauchery has seen over 3,000 bodies walk in and crawl out, with whales beaching themselves for a glimpse of the stilt walkers, gorillas, sexy clowns, gimps, fire breathers and more.

Having already inspired venues to pull up their socks it was time to take further action, so on to better things. So while Tom and Danni’s record label had to be placed on the back burner due to all that Spunking, a friendship was formed at Ocean Rooms.

Ocean Rooms, owned by Ben Gill, spreads across three individually themed floors on Morley Street. It scooped a Nightclub of the Year gong in 2002/3 with an envious swoop of heroes spinning future sounds. From Fatboy Slim and Xpress2 to David Guetta.

However, it has had no regular nights hailing deck heroes in recent times and, like some others in the Brighton scene, has dived off the club elitism board. I asked Doc King for a prognosis of the state of Brighton’s club scene and he diagnosed: “The reason why there is so little going on down here is that clubs are hiring out their venue to anybody really, there is no consistency.

“The clubs are lending out their spaces for a regulated hire fee to anyone with the money, regardless of musical know-how. Therefore going out in Brighton has become a commuters’ gamble with plenty of variety but no consistent quality. You could enter a club one Saturday to a banging tech house night and arrive to karaoke the next!”

Tom also questions the relationship between some venue owners and music and thinks it seems a frazzled marriage. “You are not dealing with party people, but instead confronted by a wardrobe of suits, even the look of the clubs mirrors this. You can tell it’s not a person who designed it but a company, it’s all very sterile.”

Ben Gill was responsible for bringing Carl Cox to Brighton earlier this year and for masterminding the Brighton City Festival, the one-day festival last October which brought 100 acts to 14 arenas in the city including the Ocean Rooms. Ben is an avid music fan and not the sweat-fearing kind. An active seeker of all the latest sounds under the broad mushroom of dance and a passion to make Ocean Rooms number one again made him a perfect ally for Tom and Danni. So what are their plans to re-establish Ocean Rooms as a musical guru to rival the likes of Fabric and Space?

Firstly muck in and spruce up. The Spunk guys have a rep for retinablasting décor and their plans for the Ocean Rooms’ surgery are no exception. The name will remain Ocean Rooms due to its nationally gained recognition. Carving a new identity will take more than a letter shift, so what do these guys have in store? “We are giving each of the three rooms their own name and identity – our vision is like a big fun house.”

Downstairs will play host to the Strawberry Club and the middle floor is going to be Downtown. “It’s gonna be kinda like downtown Miami: neon lights; stripper poles; beds; and private corners. Imagine the fun!”

Upstairs is the Lovers’ Lounge, where those avoiding the midst of a mash-up can slink into white leather sofas with a Mojito or six. Real

“To put it back on the map, you need international DJs coming every week”

Dutch courage before entering Miss Cumpie’s banging room of filth!

What normally turns into an area of grumbling desperados tearing a new thumb on their rain-drenched lighter, will become a smoking jungle equipped with parrots and palms. Finally, it will all be wrapped up in a sumptuous polka dot exterior!

It’s not just a makeover however; they are teaching the club a whole new walk and talk. “To put it back on the map, you need to have international DJs coming every week. There is no good having them once a month or every two months.” With a bold statement like that, I wondered whose hands would be gracing the decks in the coming months. Kristian Beyer and Frank Wiedemann, collectively known as Âme, will be puppeteering the dancing masses just two weeks after the launch of their album Fabric 42 Mix, a kaleidoscopic blend of electronics and infectious grooves. As well as Mr Dan Ghenacia, who has been stamping his distinctive intelligent-techno-meets-deep-house sound on cutting-edge clubs such as Fabric and Space and will now be leaving his mark on the south coast.

Unlike Coalition’s two-room base, they will be playing host to three. This means more international and local talent jostling at the very frontier of music across three levels. All this, plus your usual monthly splattering of Spunk and a launch night which will incite garden gnome-decapitating envy nationally as they team with Mixmag Club of the Year winner, Secretsundaze.

Jacking right out of the standardised box of suit-built nodding clubs, they are providing the opportunity to be “really, really naughty. Stay out way past your bedtime, lose your friends and make some new ones!”

All to the backdrop of serious deck class in a real club with no windows – for clubbers who just want to go out, do what they want and have some fun. I’m already inundated with reasons to fall out with my friends without worrying about which wig to wear!

Ocean Rooms will be closing a week before its epic launch as the entire Spunk network sets up for a week-long staple diet of paint fumes and plastic trees.

With formalities almost complete, I wish them oodles of luck. See you at the launch.

The new-look Ocean Rooms launches 27 September with a night of mayhem with Secretsundaze. (No nodding, please nod elsewhere.) latest 7 11

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8/29/08

12:55 PM

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LATESTNEWS

news summary

7 days of headlines

Cricketer Mushtaq Ahmed announced he was to retire from playing for Sussex. The popular player said he was unable to continue after two knee operations this year, but he will return as a coach in 2009. In the meantime the 38year-old is to return to Pakistan.

Tee-rrific player If the sport of women’s golf is ever included in the Olympics then a young Hove-based player could well be in the running to represent Team GB. Stacey Rodger is just 18 and already has a handicap of just one. She started the sport with a handicap of 45 at the age of 10 when she was introduced to the game by her golf-keen father.

She has since claimed the West Hove Golf Club championship three years in a row, the club’s ladies’ knock-out contest and was

Brighton College was topped a national league table in The Telegraph. This year the school achieved the best A Level results ever for an independent co-educational school in England. The Evening Standard also named it the top performing independent school in London and the South East.

Prison inspectors expressed concerns about women and children imprisoned at a Gatwick detention centre. A report published last week said conditions for the small number of women and children at Tinsley House were unacceptable. It said there was not enough to keep detainees occupied and the centre relies on voluntary organisations.

the most improved player at the club two years running.

Stacey undertook an OCR Nationals qualification in sport and is currently on a golf scholarship in Missouri, USA. She is studying exercise and movement science and, ultimately, plans to turn pro.

She plays golf six times a week and said: “I never tire of it – I love it, and I’d love to make a living out of it and play in the Women’s British Open.”

Remember where you read Stacey’s name first!

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NEWS

Honk if you’re happy Motorists have celebrated the end of roadworks which caused years of hold-ups on a major commuter route.

The A27 Beddingham scheme has been completed by the Highways Agency, which began the £34million project in summer 2006. It has replaced the level crossing on the Lewes to Eastbourne railways with a bridge and made other improvements to roundabouts, roads, walkways and cycle paths.

Southern FM held a party at the Barley Mow pub in Selmeston to mark the end of the scheme. More than 250 listeners joined Big Breakfast Show star Lynsey Bartlett, former travel presenter on the radio station, for tea, bacon butties and a flyover cake.

Over the past two years Lynsey has spent a total of 374 hours broadcasting delays and traffic news caused by the Beddingham roadworks. She said: “Despite the rain, it was good to meet so many people as happy as I am that the work’s finally competed. Thanks to everyone for coming along to say hello, plus all at The Barley Mow, Creative Cakes and The Balloon Works for the fantastic spread.”

Keeping the faith Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears looks at the week ahead The comic novelist Keith Waterhouse once famously remarked that Brighton has the look of a town which is “helping the police with their enquiries”. Well if that were true all those years ago, it must now surely look as though it’s sitting cosily at home contemplating its good name, having been fully exonerated and paid compensation for wrongful arrest.

Because these days – and let’s not hold back – Brighton and Hove is Britain’s best city. Okay, I admit that I’m biased – I’ve lived here all my life, I went to school here, raised a family here and I help run a successful catering and food retail business. But ask residents, traders and visitors and the vast majority will agree: it simply isn’t the seedy seaside settlement of petty criminality and sleaze in Graham Greene’s Brighton Rock. Rather, this is a city of culture, architectural beauty, elegance, charm and good cheer.

That’s why a recent poll by the National Lottery revealed that Brighton and Hove residents feel they are the luckiest in the UK, with 93 per cent considering themselves optimistic and positive.

Well, I feel luckier still to be leader of the city’s council. But – let me promise you – I intend to repay the faith placed in me and my fellow cabinet team by those of you who put us in this privileged position. And I want to prove to you that we have the right team in place to keep this city great.

12 latest 7

That’s why I want to start reporting directly to you – through my new column in Latest – the important actions and decisions we are taking on your behalf on a weekly basis.

Every Tuesday, I will tell you the measures we are putting in place in the week ahead to provide the excellent services that will allow people to enjoy this wonderful city and, more importantly, what we are doing to improve the circumstances of those who are less fortunate.

I’ll tell you how we are promoting the economic growth that will allow people to enjoy the prosperity our city has to offer. And I’ll talk about the difficult and unpopular decisions we’ll have to make. I’ll even hold my hands up if things go wrong and explain what we are doing about it and what we have learnt.

So please pick up the magazine next week to find out what Brighton and Hove City Council is doing in your name – and that goes for you too Mr Waterhouse.

If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk

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8/28/08

5:04 PM

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LATESTNEWS

Phil Mills discovers how the elderly are fighting back against rising fuel costs

The cold war Pensioners in Brighton and Hove have started knitting to beat higher fuel bills this winter.

Despite extra winter fuel payments from the Government and social tariffs from suppliers, many say they will have to cut back on the use of fires and central heating.

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NEWS

She said: “I know a lot of elderly women whose children have left home and who have lost their husbands won’t or can’t leave their larger homes and won’t be able to afford to heat them.”

Muriel Styles, 65, said: “I feel the cold a lot so I’m making a

“We are concerned more people may die from the cold this winter and we are urging people not to stop putting on their heating” Women at the Brighton, Hove and Portslade branch of Age Concern in Prestonville Road, Brighton, are making scarves, mittens, blankets and woolly hats to wear when they are sat at home during cold weather.

Bunty Bateman, 78, normally pays £100 a month on fuel but will soon see that rise to £135.

blanket to cover my legs and feet.”

Val Kinast, 75, suffers from arthritis: “I’m knitting a highneck jumper to keep out the chills, but I shall survive. My family is from the Ukraine and we were forced to work in Germany during the war – it was horrendous and hardened you up to put up with anything.”

Mrs Ann Harland, 88, said: “I feel sorry for all those who can’t afford to heat their homes.”

Jim Baker, Age Concern branch director, said increased fuel bills were causing as much fear among the elderly as crime.

He said: “We are concerned more people may die from the cold this winter and we are urging people not to stop putting on their heating.

“Anyone in difficulty should seek help from fuel companies but the suppliers need to make it easier for people to obtain priority services.

“There are 1.8 million older people living in poverty in the UK and this is partly because many are put off from claiming benefits because the system is too complicated, mainly

due to means testing.

“The system needs to be more user-friendly.”

Winter fuel payments will be £250 per eligible household for people aged 60 to 79, which is an increase of £50. People aged 80 and above (per eligible household), will receive £400, an increase of £100. The increases are intended as only temporary for 2008/2009.

This winter, Age Concern in the city will be working closely with Trading Standards and will be out and about promoting information, practical help and advice on fuelrelated issues during November.

Mr Baker said: “Our aim is to help older people in Brighton and Hove prepare for the coming winter.”

Fond farewell This is definitely a case of Crawley’s gain and Brighton and Hove’s loss.

If coppers were to win Olympic-style medals for effort, commitment and determination then Inspector Steve Curry would certainly collect gold.

Sadly, he’s leaving the city and moving to Crawley on promotion to Chief Inspector and as district commander. The city will miss him.

Apart from his enthusiastic villain-chasing, on car and foot (which has cost him a hat or two and a skin when he was bitten once by a police dog), he has earned the title Mr Jim’ll Fix It because his style of policing doesn’t stop at feeling collars.

He feels for victims of crime and does something about it. One elderly woman who lost her home in an arson attack spent the next few weeks as a guest of Brighton’s Grand Hotel thanks to Mr Curry’s efforts and the hotel’s generosity.

A boy was given a brand new bike from Halfords after losing his to thieves, thanks again to Mr Curry.

Goodbye and thanks to him. And as for Crawley? Lucky you. latest 7 13

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8/28/08

5:21 PM

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LATESTSPORT

Letters

Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk

Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker

Race rights?

Latest Sport’s Joe Curtin looks at racism in football

Timeline of Courtenay Towers In the 5-11 August issue of Latest Homes there is an article by Robert Stuart Nemeth entitled 'Courtenay Love'.

In the first paragraph it says that, although four of the buildings in Courtenay Terrace were built around 1840, Courtenay Towers and Courtenayside were added in 1930 'when an adjacent large seafront villa was converted into flats'.

Perhaps it would be fairer to say that Courtenay Towers and Courtenayside were originally part of a mid-19th century villa called Hoove Lea and, therefore, of the same vintage as the rest of the terrace – that is, 1830–1840.

The Georgian features in some parts of Courtenay Towers have been preserved.

John and Mavis Wright

Not so unique To all who love ‘Unique Brighton’: ‘Step into a Starbucks coffee shop, and you immediately know that you’re in a special place... Whatever your reason, a Starbucks is YOUR place,’ says the UK website.

Or not! When the coffee chain bought Sussex Stationers on St James’s Street in Kemp Town and applied for change of planning permission to that of A3 (café) use, local residents and traders were not happy.

Almost 500 letters were written in objection – homogenisation to SB’s support of Guantanamo Bay – plus it turned out this city’s Local Plan does not allow for another café to join the street.

Yet, Starbucks refitted as a café and opened anyway and are now claiming they are a ‘shop’ with baskets of cups and beans hastily rolled out to buy.

The council are taking action but it’s not enough. Demonstrations are taking place every Saturday at noon so come along to sign the petition and show your support.

No to corporate bullies and yes to Unique Brighton!

Monica, Brighton

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 14 latest 7

All cultural phenomena become altered throughout their existence.

Modern football is thought of as the working man’s sport, but its modern rules are from a completely different background.

The Victorian upper class baulked at ancient football’s lack of rules; thought it too barbaric for their age of reason. So they tried to codify a standard set of rules for it. They couldn’t. As the southern public schools opted for the predominance of the foot over the hand and what has become what we now know as ‘association football’, others, notably the Rugby school wanted to keep the use of hands and to regulate a wrestling aspect, closer to that of the original game. William Webb Ellis’s handball is purely mythical.

“‘Don’t judge me on my colour’, Ince now says” The 20th century saw the two games emerge as the dividing line in British society: soccer as the working class distinction; rugby that of the middle. As we have seen the rules and the social fabric of the sport evolve likewise has its attitudes to race. Arthur Wharton was the first black professional footballer in 1889.

Barely a century later black players endured racist chants.

Racist berating of players is largely a thing of the past. However Ron Atkinson has shown old attitudes prevail. The man who, ironically, forwarded the cause of black players in the 80s. That he referred to Laurie Cunningham, Brendan Batson and Cyrill Regis as the ‘Three Degrees’ might have pointed to a mindset that black people can sing and dance, and are athletic, but can they be trusted in responsibility? After his Desailly outburst Atkinson clearly thinks not.

Paul Ince is the first British black manager. Chris Kamara, John Barnes and Ince himself have complained about a lack of progression for black players into management. Barnes had a chance at Celtic, a job too big and he too young. Now no club replies to his interest. Brendon Batson, former PFA deputy chief executive said: “[Black managers] are having to break down barriers, as my generation had to fight to become

players.” It is important that Ince does well; maybe his success may bring black managers in the way that the ‘Three Degrees’ and other brave men brought players. Paul Canoville, Chelsea’s first black player has described his horror on his first appearance and being booed. “I expected it from the away fans but I wasn’t prepared for it from my own supporters.” He is now a Chelsea legend for being “quick, could take players on, a good crosser and chipped in his own fair share of goals too.”

English football is running a laudable ‘Kick It [racism] Out’ campaign. Leicester University’s Sir Norman Chester Centre reported on the lack of black coaches: “There may be, to some extent, a ‘glass ceiling’, in which black players are viewed solely in terms of their physical ‘performance’ abilities rather than their analytical, motivational and organisational capacities.” So like him or not, I wish him well. When it comes to management and the glass ceiling, it should perhaps be ‘Kick it In’. “ Don’t judge me on my colour,” Ince now says. “Only my results.”

Unfortunately, perhaps he has more than just the future of Blackburn Rovers resting on his shoulders.

A right mayor They say politics and sport should never meet. This hasn’t been true since Pierre Frédy, Baron de Coubertin thought ‘wouldn’t it be nice if we could emulate the philosophical Ancient Greeks’. Let’s hope that this spectacularly successful Chinese Games may open up this insular totalitarian country in the way that the ‘Ping Pong Diplomacy’ of 1971 did. We can but hope. Huge country, ancient history; long way to go.

Perhaps with further to go in joining the 21st century is Boris Johnson.

His childish one-upmanship in saying that although the Chinese excel at “ping pong” the British invented the game – whiff whaff – and will therefore stage a better Olympics, was at best surreal and at worse offensive. This from the man who referred to black children as “piccaninnies”. ‘Whiff whaff’?

What century is this buffoon living in? Unless I misunderstood and Boris has a lisp and was merely referring to how he considers most of the population of London.

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8/29/08

1:34 PM

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COVERSTORY

Roll up, roll up Travelling troupe Circus Oz bring their uniquely Antipodean act to Brighton Dome this month This September don’t be surprised if you see acrobats dressed as kangaroos and other odd characters taking over Brighton Dome, because Australia’s premier circus ensemble, Circus Oz, is in town with a brand-new high-energy show.

The Circus Oz party planners have been in full swing scouring Australia for the best trapeze artists, contortionists, hoop divers, jugglers, hula hoopers, in-line skaters and all round daredevil acrobats. Having pulled out all the stops to celebrate their 30th birthday – combining classic Circus Oz acts with new characters, musicians and gags – they’ve wowed audiences across Australia and have a just finished a three-week stint at the Edinburgh Fringe where they received some rave reviews.

“What you see is what you get: a big, shiny, crowd puller of a spectacle by a group that is at the top of its game,” said The List this year. This was echoed by The Herald, who praised the show as: “An immaculately paced piece of entertainment.”

Over two jaw-dropping hours the ensemble will present an awe-inspiring display of physical prowess delivered with infectious irreverence and accompanied by an original live band. There’s no need

to book the babysitter as the Circus Oz show is a rock ’n’ roll, animalfree circus that the whole family can enjoy together.

“With its blend of daredevil skills, irreverent humour and social conscience, it’s easy to see why Circus Oz is still going strong,” said Melbourne’s The Age earlier this year, and The Guardian in 2006 wrote that Circus Oz contains “physical danger, outrageous jokes and jawdropping skills.” If you only go see one thing this September make sure it’s this circus spectacular, tumbling across the Concert Hall for three nights only.

To get a sneak peak of the show and hear what the Edinburgh Festival audiences thought of it visit www.brightondome.org. Show runs from Wednesday 24–Friday 26 September, 7.30pm, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome. Tickets are, on Wednesday, £12, £16, £20, £22, and on Thursday and Friday £15, £18, £22, £24. Children half price on top two ticket prices! Schools’ matinee with Q&A on Friday, 1.30pm, all tickets £6.50.

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29/8/08

12:16 PM

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8/29/08

12:33 PM

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Model city Sandra Omo reminds us that all is not glam during the first days of modelling

Conceivable methods Zara Baker looks at modern pregnancy and methods to make labour and post-birth easier on mum

latest

For first-time mums-to-be or a mother of three, pregnancy can cause plenty of stress, anxiety and fear. Your world is going to change – for the better – but it’s a huge change and a daunting one nonetheless.

Methods like hypnotherapy may be beneficial for expecting mums and can significantly reduce pain during labour and ease any anxiety.

So what is hypnotherapy? In the US, HypnoBirthing is a trademark name and there are a number of practitioners around in the UK offering courses in hypnotherapy. The course may involve a weekend workshop or a CD and information pack to go over at home in your own time. You will practise relaxation methods and visualisation which you will then utilise during labour. One method is balloon-breathing, used during contractions, by visualising a balloon being blown up and eventually released.

Is hypnotherapy proven to help ease labour pains? There are various studies to support this, including one carried out in South Wales, which show hypnotherapy significantly shortens the first two stages of labour.

Midwives support the method, with other studies showing a reduced need for anaesthesia. It’s also believed that a more relaxed birth acts as a catalyst for a relaxed and happy start to baby’s life.

With the birth sorted, there’s plenty of other methods mum can take before and after birth to promote a relaxed mind and healthier body. Yoga classes are a great accompaniment to hypnotherapy. It can be difficult to keep fit during pregnancy but a gentle yoga class aimed at pregnant women is greatly beneficial. Emotionally, it boosts the mind and body, offering complete wellbeing. Physically, ligaments are more elastic and you become more flexible, which in turn can help reduce labour pain.

Pregnancy yoga involves stretching exercises that helps relieve aches and keep you active. It can help improve your posture and ease back problems, which is common in pregnancy.

Six weeks after birth, post-natal yoga classes will help new mums get back in shape faster. It helps strengthen abdominal muscles and the pelvic floor and a class is also a great way to meet new friends in the same position.

Whether you opt for hypnotherapy or ante-natal/post-natal yoga classes, explore the options and only undertake what you’re comfortable with. Pregnancy and birth is something to be treasured but there’s nothing wrong in making it easier on yourself.

I remember the day I did my very first modelling job. It was far back in 2002, and I had just been chosen to be the face of a major wedding gown designer house in Lagos. I did not go through any casting or audition, and I would not say I was scouted either as I was introduced by a relative of mine to the owner of the wedding gown boutique. So was it by connection then? I guess so. Nonetheless, it was a well paying job, and to begin my career like that, although I didn’t take it serious until five years later, really boosted my confidence.

up by me. I mean I thought commercial shoots were always as I saw on Fashion TV. But my first experience taught me those were only the glam ones. Nonetheless, when the pictures came out in posters and billboards in major high streets, I was impressed and I made it my duty to tell everyone there was nothing glam about the shoot, it was just me wearing my everyday make-up.

Looking back at this experience today, I realise that my first job falls into a category that is not common with first jobs these days. I have

“Where was the make-up artist? Was there one on the way, I mean who was going to do me up?”

When I met the designer, and owner of the wedding gown boutique, she was impressed and thought I fitted the idea she had in mind. I was asked to come in early the next day for the shoot. As I left home the next day, I was looking forward to a big shoot, like the ones I had watched on Fashion TV where there are huge camera crews, photographers, make-up artists, stylists and directors.

However, when I arrived, it was just the designer, a photographer with a non-digital camera, my relative and me. Just the four of us and no one else; I was disappointed. The first thing I asked, and what I was most concerned about, was the make-up artist. Was there one on the way, I mean who was going to do me up? The designer looked at me and said laughingly, “go to the mirror and do your make-up the way you did it yesterday when I saw you.” What?

Never in my life did I ever think I will appear in an advert wearing make-

spoken to countless models about their first jobs and their answers all fall into two categories: the majority, although they had the big crew and well airbrushed pictures did their first job for free, while the lucky few had it glam-glam (paid, big crews). There is hardly anything in the middle, these days, where the model has a not so artificial shoot, but still gets the joy of earning as well as seeing herself on posters on a major high street, as the majority of the shoots these days do not get further than the internet. When I walk through high streets these days, the posters and billboards I see are all of famous people, and I am beginning to wish we were still in the years back where one could see faces of non-famous people on major commercials. You could walk the high street and point to a poster or a billboard and ask who the model on it is, and some one would reply, “she is not famous; it’s her first job.”

wave

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01273 818160 If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

latest 7 17

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8/27/08

4:43 PM

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

A cut above Andrew Kay heads towards East Grinstead for an epic lunch at Gravetye Manor Once again I hit the road out of Brighton, this time accompanied by my old mucker Mr L. Our destination Gravetye Manor, a stone-built Elizabethan house, now famous as a luxury hotel and restaurant with more accolades than I could shake a stick at.

After a confused journey caused by a closed road we arrived at the long drive leading to the house. I tucked my shabby vehicle in a corner out of shame, but we had both dressed for the occasion and as we climbed the steps we more than looked the part.

We were first invited to take drinks in the garden. What a vision: fabulously pretty but not in a prissy way – sexier than that, jaunty and irreverent. Like a St Trinian’s schoolgirl wearing her summer uniform too short and boater at a saucy angle. We sat under a huge umbrella sipping champagne for Mr L and a Campari soda for me. A plate arrived with tiny scones filled with salmon, croute topped with foie gras and delicious olives. Had we been asked to leave at that point I would have given the place five stars. Fortunately, we were well behaved and allowed to stay for what has to be one of the most memorable meals I have had in a long time.

and every drop. We both also used the excellent bread to mop up our sauces as they were far to good to leave.

Mr L stayed with the sea for a main course of scallops and lobster. Once more the kitchen amazed us with its generosity. His large plate was filled with fat scallops and huge chunks of lobster tail, all sitting in a rich creamy fennel-infused sauce around a large raviolo filled with yet more lobster. He set about it with the look of a man who had won the lottery and with it drank a new world Chardonnay that restored his faith in the grape.

I stayed meaty, this time with lamb fillet, kidney and sweetbreads. I would have chosen the dish with sweetbreads if they had been served with ants and pigeon ears, I love them so much. Luckily, the lamb and its kidney were there and excellent too, again with a staggeringly good sauce. I was equally impressed with steamed courgettes and tiny onions that decorated the plate and did a little jig on my tongue. A robust red from Stellenbosch was the perfect accompaniment – rich, fruity but with a distinguished, old-fashioned edge. To our delight the place settings came complete with gravy spoons so we wasted not a drop.

Finally to dessert. Sadly I had to decline more wine but Mr L had a glass of rich sticky stuff to accompany a duo of baked rich chocolate soufflé and an immaculate frozen white chocolate soufflé. A perfect ending to his meal.

I could not resist the selection of Gravetye raspberries. Wow, look at the picture: a shot of juice laced with orange liqueur; a sorbet in a poppy and sesame seed basket; a tiny scone with jam; a raspberry shortbread; a shivering raspberry panacotta; three exhibition standard fruits that looked like they had been drawn by an architect; and, to top it all, a raspberry crème brûleé. Wow. I feel the need to repeat myself – wow, wow, wow.

Food and service of this calibre deserves the acclaim it receives and this was absolutely top notch – in every sense. It was also remarkable value for money for dishes of such complexity built with ingredients of this quality, with the à la carte menu at £52. For £25 you can have the three-course table d’hôte menu. I cannot recommend this experience more highly.

Gravetye Manor, near East Grinstead, West Sussex, RH19 4LJ. Please call 01342 810567 or email info@gravetyemanor.co.uk

“One of the most memorable meals I have had in a long time”

46-48 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NA Tel: 01273 323600

A waiter came to take our order. I requested of the sommelier that he choose appropriate wines by the glass and, after a short while, we were told that our table was ready. Back inside I found the dining room refreshingly formal.

Posies of flowers adorned each table, each posy different, and the staff waited quietly to come into play. I loved the fact that a stunning pair of blonde ladies brought our food; it added an extra level of the exquisite to the experience, and the sommelier was utterly charming and excited by our request that he choose our wines for us.

As a result Mr L started with a fine glass of Chablis to accompany his stuffed courgette flower, with salmon mousse and crayfish tails. What a dish: such precision; such generosity. For a while he was almost silent.

I had chosen a lasagne of pigeon breast and foie gras. The menu promised celeriac cream, Scottish wild mushrooms and buttered cabbage. I got exactly that, most layered between the finest pasta I have ever seen, with the mushrooms dotted around in a fabulously rich sauce. The pigeon breast was sliced, the foie gras barely seared, the cabbage tender and sweet… Sorry, this dish was hugely successful – about as good as it gets. And generous too, larger than many smart restaurants would offer as a main course. With it a glass of sauterne, a brilliant coupling of sweet wine, offal and game. I savoured every morsel 18 latest 7

Welcome to Buddies, the south coast's only 24 hour restaurant!

Situated opposite Brighton promenade, Buddies boasts a panoramic view of beach life and is near to all major venues, hotels, clubs and of course the historic Lanes area.

Renowned for good food, friendly service and a varied menu - Buddies is waiting for you any time day or night. From the 'All Day Breakfast' to a large selection of pasta dishes, delicious pizzas, mouth watering steaks to the sea food platter, three course set menu £8.95 - Buddies has it all!

Students can get 20% discount on their full bill (must show student ID)

If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

019-020_LS388_hotlist

8/28/08

2:09 PM

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LATESTHOTLIST

See more at thelatest.co.uk

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace.

The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

The Gallery Restaurant Why not appreciate for yourself the brand new restaurant in the heart of Brighton’s lanes specialising in modern British food all within in a relaxed fine dining environment.

All the food is sourced locally, (where possible) homemade and designed for the seasons by our a la carte head chef who has lead at the Dorchester in London, amongst

other leading London restaurants. The restaurant boasts a friendly yet casual environment that offers that little bit more all at very reasonable prices.

28 East Street, Brighton. 01273 773327 www.thegallerybrighton.co.uk

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter.

1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

Santiago Restaurant Nestled between the two piers, Santiago Restaurant offers quality food and friendly service in this fantastic location on Brighton beach. Occupying former fisherman’s arches and boasting three of the historic, original arched windows, the first floor indoor restaurant gives a cosy and intimate dining experience. Now serving an exciting new menu of modern European dishes with a Hispanic influence and delicious homemade desserts. On sunny days, enjoy watching the world go by while dining on their sun terrace overlooking the beach, or in the evening come and relax in the indoor restaurant where every table has a sea view.

143-144 Kings Road Arches, Brighton Beach 01273 710031 www.santiagorestaurant.biz

CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of

style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk

FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank.

Relaxed alfresco dining is available in the garden; a sunny afternoon could not be better spent. Enjoy the ‘Early Frog’ from 67pm; a three-course meal at £13.95 is really the best value for your money! The true character of this delightful restaurant comes hopping to life in the evenings, and the mouthwatering menu is a comprehensive choice of the finest French cuisine. Children and families always welcome.

119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com

Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new French patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s Road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart. Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian. For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.”

48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders.

10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

L’Église

The Gallery Restaurant

L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic à la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like coq au vin and côte de bœuf for two.

Locally sourced produce includes freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive Anglo-French farmhouse cheeseboard.

There is also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as tarte aux pommes and crème brulée. Enjoy the south-facing sun terrace with the brasserie lunch menu, Tuesday-Sunday 12-6pm, including croque madame, tarte a l’ognion, moules marinières and more.

And with a delicious French Sunday roast, this is true entente cordiale.

196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk

INDIAN Chaula’s “The food of India, not just Indian food.”

New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes!

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London.

There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

THAI Chokdee A premium takeaway and informal eaterie next to Hove Station where you can enjoy real Thai cooking. Chokdee serves a variety of popular Thai dishes, including tom yum soup, pad thai (stir-fried noodles) favourite red and green curries and a range of freshly stir-fried dishes, with vegetarian options.

There’s a selection of home-made starters priced from £3.95. A plate of mixed starters is good value at £8.95 and includes chicken satay, Thai fishcakes, mini spring rolls and mee krob noodles. Main courses include a good selection of vegetarian, duck and seafood dishes, and are made to each individual order using authentic Thai ingredients such as holy basil, kaffir lime leaves and galangal, coconut milk and chillis. Chokdee is licensed, with wines, saké and Thai beers. Open Monday to Saturday, for lunch and in the evening.

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk

Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai

To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150 latest 7 19

019-020_LS388_hotlist

8/28/08

12:36 PM

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LATESTHOTLIST

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Santiago Restaurant

furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand.

Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”!

165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love for parties and celebrations because they always give the best of times. And why not, as this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

COFFEE SHOPS Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries.

A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’.

Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax.

Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. MonFri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm.

Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained

20 latest 7

baristas. They have an excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options like pistachio and orange biscotti.

Moksha is not your usual high street coffee shop with its spacious interior and the works of local artists. They are child friendly, have disabled access and free WIFI. Now open late Thur/Fri/Sat offering free aperitivos with any bottle of wine and 2-4-1 cocktails from 5–7pm. Located opposite St Peters Church and only a stones’ throw away from Brighton Station.

Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890, www.mokshacaffe.com

BRUNCH Home café Home by the arch at Queens Park, serves long, lazy brunches, delicious lunches and homemade cakes and treats. From pancake stacks dripping in maple syrup to eggs Benedict and locally roasted espresso coffee. If you've missed lunch or are in need of a late breakfast, we always have something to tempt you at Home. It's all in our name. At Home you will receive a warm welcome and quality homemade food sourced locally. We have a fully licensed bar, and make a killer bloody Mary, the perfect accompaniment to any brunch. Private parties catered for daytime and evening.

Open seven days a week 10am– 5pm 32 Egremont Place, Brighton, BN2 OGA, 01273 674456 www.homebrighton.co.uk

BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out.

To book your private party, reserve your guestlist or to run through some ideas please contact: Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

021_LS388_reviews/index

8/29/08

12:37 PM

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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on

2 – 8 September

Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk Popstarz @ Ghetto The Candy Bar’s new management (now Ghetto, after being taken over by the London club) means a new line-up, including this opening bash for a seaside version of popular queer alternative night, Popstarz.

From Suede’s nineties indie to modern rockers Muse and girly pop nuggets from The Ting Tings and Robyn, this is a quality mix, proving gay clubbing isn’t all cheese, house and high camp (despite the towering drag queens).

A strong addition to the Brighton scene makes a charismatic debut.

Ghetto, 15 August ✌✌✌✌ Nick Aldwinckle

High School Musical If you are already a fan of the two Disney High School Musical films then you won’t be disappointed

by this energetic stage production. It certainly didn’t disappoint the younger generation of fans (average age eight) all dressed in their identical East High Wildcats cheerleading outfits. During the finale of ‘We’re All in This Together’ the front of the auditorium was just a sea of mini cheerleaders.

As a HSM novice I was delighted to accompany Kirsty, a fan. I was equally delighted to agree with every word. This was the sort of professional production that could not fail to win. Slick, engaging, fun… and a cast of talented youngsters that kept me entertained. If Disney can introduce a young audience to theatre in this way then hats off to them.

Brighton Centre, 19 August ✌✌✌✌

High School Musical

Andrew Kay

Brighton at Edinburgh Festival and Fringe Jo Pinto’s play Pebbles on the Beach, overtly bringing Brighton’s iconic stoney beach to the Scottish capital led the wave of East Sussex talent at this year’s performance showcase capital. As well as the lovingly portrayed and detailed tale of romance and selfdiscovery in Pebbles, there was also the boldly physical and wonderfully enthralling performance of On the Waterfront, directed by local respected thespian Steven Berkoff.

Leading the way with stand-up comedy were Seann Walsh and Rich Perry, both finalists in the prestigious So You Think You’re Funny show (results yet to be announced at time of press), with Seann making a number of appearances and causing a positive stir at various other venues. In addition to these were also the Umbrella Show and The Odd Squad, both of which a combination of Brighton and London comics putting together three-comic shows, thoroughly entertaining a late night crowd as part of the free festival.

Sketch show The Duck That Died for No Reason became a popular choice for punters, with WWI mixing it up with feminism and animal engagements. Just a taster, with many more shows hailing from the Sussex coast doing well, this proved a most successful year for homegrown talent.

Edinburgh, throughout August ✌✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Loop 2008 Loop’s second year kicks off and it seems some of last year’s teething problems have been ironed out. Tents are opened to allow more people to see stages and there are no sound issues to speak of.

After a slow start with the forgettable rockers Turbowolf and sub-par electro of Transformer, jamming dance musos The Bays herald the start of the party.

Highlights include the brilliantly noisy Four Tet, pushing ambient music out of the background, energetic Aussie electro-rockers Cut Copy and Holy F*ck’s spectacularly quirky closing set.

A great second bout of Brightonbased electronic extravagance: roll on next year.

Full review: thelatest.co.uk/7 Victoria Gardens, 16 August ✌✌✌✌ Nick Aldwinckle

For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk

Thurston Moore, p27

22 Comedy Butterflies before a performance

22 Art Stencil History X at Ink_d Gallery

23 Stage Delve into the backstage world of Noises Off

24 Film A date to the cinema made easy with reviews and local listings

26 Kids & Events Family wildlife fun, Bodhi Garden Festival and an Indian Summer

26 Books A local illustrator brings the Daisy series to life

27 Music The Blow Monkeys swing by for a chat

31 Music & Club Dates for the diary

32 Gay Did Will get his man?

Plus news and listings

34 Television Dani sees Britain in a new light, plus what’s on the box this week

latest 7 21

022_LS388_stand-up/art

8/28/08

2:25 PM

Page 2

STAND-UP COMEDY

ART

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle examines the phenomenon of the comedy bolter

The danger, I have found, with doing bigger and better gigs is the combination of your own nerves and those of the people around you.

The other comics stepping into an unknown environment. The look of panic when you see someone of similar physical proportions stepping into the holding pen at the back where the gaggle of comics sit and await their fate. And it’s back here where you start chatting.

I was quite looking forward to my gig in Camden Town. It’d taken forever to get up there but I had a mate coming along who was bringing her cousin who was bringing a gaggle of Australians who had disembarked from their plane that morning. Good or bad, I had some support on the way. The fella sitting next to me, however, looked as white as a sheet. This unnamed comic told me that he had been gigging for the last couple of years and sometimes, just sometimes, the nerves got too much – and he would bolt. Yes – really! Apparently it’s not unheard of in London circles for those of a very nervous disposition to sit through the entire first half, waiting for their turn to take the mic, only to shoot out the door at intermission time, never to be seen again.

The wild blue yonder had collected quite a few of these it would seem.

“...waiting for their turn to take the mic, only to shoot out the door at intermission time, never to be seen again” My new friend assured me that he was unlikely to do that tonight. I took another look at him. I didn’t feel 100 per cent certain I believed him. Washed out terror encourages distrust in a person. But it would be a shame if he did disappear over the horizon.

Every gig can be scary, but most bookers have very good memories.

Once bitten twice as unlikely to book you for a return visit. I admit that I have cancelled gigs in my time due to illness, transport and – I’m sorry – just plain nerves. But I do give as much advance warning as I can and get another comic to replace the slot I’ve unfortunately left open. I don’t do a greyhound impersonation, chasing after the rabbit of ‘not having to face the audience’ on the night. I’ve gone up on stage shaking, but once I’m at the venue, I’m going up.

Not that I can really feel proud of simply doing what I’d asked someone very nicely to allow me to do. Doing what you say you’re going to do – surely that’s just the basics of keeping your word?

My new friend did make it through his set, and he wasn’t half bad.

The experience he’d garnered when he didn’t run away was serving him well. The audience liked him, even my drunken jetlagged Australians who were having problems concentrating by this point. It was worth hanging around for. I’m glad he did.

☺

It’s a very secret circle, stencilling, given the fact that it’s illegal in most countries, but it’s a form of urban expression that’s there to provoke a reaction, using the power of surprise to greet the unsuspecting passer-by. Stencil History X is a collection of artists from the USA and France, two countries that don’t always see eye- to-eye politically, but whose secret stencil bandits present us with interesting urban landscapes, layers of colour, abstract expressionism and simple lines.

Stencil History X, Ink_d Gallery, North Road, Brighton, 4–28 September

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Chinese Whispers: Chinoiserie in Britain 1650–1930 With loans from HM The Queen, national museums and private collections, ‘Chinese Whispers’ tells three centuries of stories through rare and iconic objects.

Until 2 Nov

DUKE OF YORKS Preston Circus, Brighton Sarah Pain An exhibition of paper collage.

Until 30 September, Mon-Sun, 11am-late

INK_D GALLERY 96 North Road, Brighton, 01273 645299 Stencil History X American and French stencil artists get together including C215, Sadhu, Adam5100, Kolezar and Broken Crow.

4–28 September, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm

SYDNEY STREET GALLERY

Thursday 4

Saturday 6

Tag Comedy Tag Comedy is back – featuring four top UK comedians – with no running order, no set lists, and no idea as to what they will be doing or talking about next. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50 Walks into a Bar Brand new local comics and slightly more matured comics with new material, mixing it up on this free night in Hanover. The London Unity, 9pm, free Brighton Coalition Comedy Hosted by Dominic Frisby, acts are Hannah George, Gerald Butcher, fresh from Edinburgh Zoe Lyons and Christian Reilly. The Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £8/4

Kronenbourg Krater Club Diving into the weekend with top class comedy from Barry Castagnola, Andy Askins and Ian Moore.

Compered by Rufus Hound. Komedia, 6pm & 10pm, £16.50

BOXBIRD 14 St Johns Road, Hove, 01273 734295 New gallery space in Hove that specialises in limited edition and original art works from illustrators, painters and printmakers.

Boxbird is open sporadically throughout the year so If you wish to arrange a private viewing please contact the gallery direct on 01273 734 295 or email hello@boxbird.co.uk

Sunday 7 Bent Double Zoe Lyons comperes a night of camp comedy featuring Shelley Cooper, Simon O'Keefe and the unstoppable Raymond and Mr Timpkins Revue.

Komedia, 7:30pm, £10

➧ For full listings go to latest7.co.uk/listings

ARTLISTINGS

Stand-up wisdom: “I don’t want any kids. I follow my mother in that respect” Juliet Myers

COMEDYLISTINGS

22 latest 7

Stencil history

Sydney Street, Brighton Marionetas Venezuelan artist Jose Vides with illustrations, photographs and mixed media.

Until 6 September

HQ GALLERY 15 St John Street, Brighton, 01273 487849 One-Off Mixed show by HQ artists both new and established.

Until 7 September, Tues-Sat 10am–5pm, Sundays 1–5pm

UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON DE LA WARR PAVILION Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 Nathan Coley Solo show from this Turner Prize shortlisted artist, exploring our relationship to political borders, religious frontiers and ideals, and investigating how these ideas change over time.

Until 21 September, Mon–Sun 10am–6pm

Grand Parade, Brighton, 01273 643010 3rd Dimension An exhibition of cuttingedge 3D Street Art sculpture.

Ken Garland Photography exhibition of foreign matter found on a remote beach in County Donegal.

Until 3 September, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm

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STAGE deteriorate and the mishaps, mayhems and shenanigans of the company are laid bare.

Noises Off is the latest Theatre Royal Brighton Production. Set up in 2004 Theatre Royal Brighton Productions fulfils the public demand for first class shows on the South Coast before embarking on national tours or transferring to the West End. Past productions have included The Holy Terror starring Simon Callow, the European premiere of Sweeny Todd starring Jason Donovan and two sell-out productions of The New Statesman starring Rik Mayall.

Written by multi-award-winning playwright Michael Frayn whose countless international theatre successes include the hugely successful Donkeys’ Years, Democracy and Copenhagen.

Backstage drama Michael Frayn’s hit comedy Noises Off in a new production from Brighton’s Theatre Royal The hilarious West End and Broadway comedy hit, Noises Off opens its doors at Theatre Royal Brighton in a brand new Theatre Royal Brighton Production. Winner of both the Olivier and Tony award for Best Comedy and seen by over a million people worldwide, now’s your chance to experience the brilliantly funny play the New York Times described as ‘The funniest comedy ever written’.

With breakneck pace, Noises

Off is a brilliantly witty and frantic comedy about the antics of an inept second-rate touring theatre company, as they stumble from dress rehearsal to disastrous last night of the sex comedy, Nothing On. Offering two plays for the price of one, watch the terrifying and hilarious descent into chaos as the actors make their exits from one play to another whilst the set fights back, cast relationships

STAGELISTINGS

Tuesday 2 to Monday 29 September BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Yesterday World premiere combining daring athleticism and playful choreography.

• 2 Sept, 8pm, £15/£12.50/£10 students Back to Broadway Lively choreography and glitzy costumes – offers a taste of Chicago, Hairspray, Wicked, and more. Pavilion Theatre.

• 2 Sept, 8pm, £15/£12.50/£10 students

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Calendar Girls Adapted from the film of the same name, an uplifting story with a very English heart.

• 5–6, 8–13, 15–20, 22–27 September, £11–£33, 7.30pm, (7pm 16 September) plus 2pm mat 13, 18, 20, 25, 27 September Aristo • 11–13, 15–20, 22–27, 29 Sept–4 Oct, 4, 6–11 Oct, please call for show times, £25/£13

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk

Puccini Tosca True love, torture and treachery set against the backdrop of the Colosseum. Opera sung in Italian with English subtitles.

• 5 September, 7.30pm, £18–£30 Bizet Carmen Staged in a bullring for a new twist to Bizets famous and seductive opera.

• 6– 7 September, 7.30pm Sat, 3pm Sun, £18–£30 Rockin’ On Heaven’s Door In its 10th year – convincing portrayals of music giants Presley, Orbison, Holly, Cochran and The Big Bopper.

• 8 September, 7.30pm, £18/£16 The Opera Babes • 12 September, 7.30pm, £19.50/£17.50

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Absurd Person Singular West End comedy about scaling the social ladder at a party.

• 2–6 September, 7.45pm, Wed, Thu & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13–£19.50 Anything Goes

If you would like to comment on these stories please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

Noises Off guarantees an evening of pure unashamed, laugh-outloud escapism, one of the funniest nights you’ll spend at the theatre, about the theatre!

This new production stars Colin Baker (The Brothers, Doctor Who), Jonathan Coy (Donkeys’ Years, The Life and Times of Nicholas Nickleby Pts. I & II – Chichester and UK tour), Ben Hull (Hollyoaks, Soap – Stephen Joseph Theatre) and Maggie Stead (The History Boys – National Theatre and international tour, The Heiress – National Theatre, Jam and Jerusalem).

Noises Off, Theatre Royal, New Road, Brighton Tue 9 – Sat 13 September Eves 7.45pm, Thu & Sat mats 2.30pm Box Office 08700 606 650 (bkg fee) Groups Hotline 08700 606 617 Access Bookings 0871 297 5477 (bkg fee) Tickets £16 – £26 theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

Hawth seek mystery playwright Will the mystery playwright please step forward!

Crawley Community Arts asked local writers to submit scripts of any genre, lasting 20-25 minutes with minimalist set for community theatre company, Pitchy Breath’s next production, Shorts II. The standard of submissions was extremely high and four directors have each chosen a script they would like to produce.

The Last Quest by Andrew Lane has been selected but unfortunately the writer has not included any contact details on

his submission therefore they have no way to contact him.

If you know Andrew Lane or you are the mystery playwright himself please contact Jo Joseph at The Hawth on 01293 438151 or email jo.joseph@crawley.gov.uk The Last Quest will be one of four short plays making up Shorts II from Thursday 6Saturday 8 November in The Hawth Studio, offering a compelling and contrasting evening of new drama.

• 16–20 September, 7.30pm, plus Thu and Sat mat, £8.50–£11.50 Gotta Sing, Gotta Dance • 23–25 & 27 September, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm matinee Wed and Sat, £13.50–£18

• 14 Sept, 2.45pm, £15–£23 Last Night of the Proms • 27 Sept, 7.30pm, £8–£15 The Mighty Wurlitzer Theatre Organ • 28 Sept, 7.30pm, £8–£12

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE

01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Pinocchio Open air performance in Goff’s Park • Book through the Hawth. 11 Sept, please call for show times and prices

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Run For Your Wife 25th anniversary tour.

The tale of a cabbie with two wives – pure farce.

• 2–6 Sept, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22 Murder With Love • 15–20 Sept, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22

THE MARLBOROUGH THEATRE 07782 278 521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk The Miss Hope Springs Show • 7, 14, 21 & 28 Sept, 9pm, £3

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Noises Off Michael Frayn’s comedy as two shows unravel in one – from backstage rehearsals to the disastrous tour.

• 9–13 September, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat, £16–£25 Le Grand Cirque • 16–20 September, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat, £14–£24

WORTHING: ASSEMBLY HALL 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Symphony Orchestra

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Tiger Who Came To Tea For ages 3+.

The popular picture books comes to life with magic, songs and chaos!

• 2 Sept, 2pm and 4.30pm Mon, 11am and 2pm Tues, £10/£8.50 Roll Out The Barrel • 11 Sept, 2.30pm, £10 That’ll Be The Day • 14 Sept, 7.45pm, £18–£20 Puppetry of the Penis • 17 Sept, 8pm, £12.50–£15.50 The Mikado • 24–27 Sept, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Wed and Sat, £10–£12

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FILM 1himself. Following the recent death of his own daughter www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 2 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.45 GET SMART (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 5.40, 8.15 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.15, 3.00, 5.30, 8.15 MAN ON WIRE (12A) 3.15 THE MIST (15) 8.30 STEP BROTHERS (15) 11.00, 1.25, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 THE STRANGERS (15) 6.45, 9.00 THE WACKNESS (15) 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 WALL-E (U) 11.00, 1.15 WILD CHILD (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 12.45, 6.00

Wednesday 3 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.45 GET SMART (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 5.30, 8.15 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.15, 3.00, 5.30, 8.15 MAMMA MIA! SING-ALONG! (PG) 9.00 MAN ON WIRE (12A) 3.15 STEP BROTHERS (15) 11.00, 1.25, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 THE STRANGERS (15) 6.45, 9.00 THE WACKNESS (15) 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 WALL-E (U) 11.00, 1.15 WILD CHILD (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30

YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 12.45, 6.00

L7 lowdown New releases reviewed

Thursday 4

Step Brothers (15)

THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.45 THE EDGE OF LOVE (15) 10.30 GET SMART (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 5.30, 8.15 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.15, 3.00, 5.30, 8.15 MAMMA MIA! SING-ALONG! (PG) 9.00 MAN ON WIRE (12A) 3.15 STEP BROTHERS (15) 11.00, 1.25, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 THE STRANGERS (15) 6.45, 9.00 THE WACKNESS (15) 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 WALL-E (U) 11.00, 1.15 WILD CHILD (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 10.45, 12.45, 6.00

Dir: Adam McKay After the dud that was Semi-Pro Will Ferrell teams up again with Talladega Nights buddy John C. Reilly for this comedic farce.

Ferrell and Reilly play middle-aged step brothers forced to live together after their elderly single parents get hitched. After spending forty years sponging off their respective parents neither take kindly to this drastic change of circumstance or the appearance of a rival in their parents affections.

Cue many a funny skirmish and ridiculous dialogue varnished with deadpan delivery.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Craig Driver

Films showing Friday 5-Monday 8 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) FORMULA ONE: BELGIAN GRAND PRIX (U) GET SMART (12A) HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) MAMMA MIA! (PG), ROCKNROLLA (15) STEP BROTHERS (15), THE STRANGERS (15) THE WACKNESS (15), WILD CHILD (12A) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 2

Saturday 6

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30

BARNYARD (U)11.00 MY WINNIPEG (12A) 1.30 ELITE SQUAD (18) 6.00 SOMERS TOWN (12A) 4.00, 8.30, 10.00

Wednesday 3

7 Selects he meets Marek, a Polish immigrant.

Both boys struggle to make sense of their new environment as they form an unexpected partnership. Shot on black and white Digital Video this is brief but warm and socially pertinent.

Showing at Duke of York’s

Sunday 7

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 LEATHERHEADS (PG) 11.00

Thursday 4

MY WINNIPEG (12A) 6.00 ELITE SQUAD(18)1.30 SOMERS TOWN (12A) 4.00, 8.30

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 1.00, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

Monday 8

Friday 5 EL BANO DEL PAPA (15)1.30 ELITE SQUAD (18)6.00 SOMERS TOWN (12A)4.00, 8.30 CSNY DEJA VU (15) 10.30

EL BANO DEL PAPA (12A) 6.00 ELITE SQUAD (18) 1.30 SOMERS TOWN (12A) 4.00, 8.30 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

My Winnipeg (12A)

www.cineworld.co.uk

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 2 BABYLON A.D (12A) 12.10, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 GET SMART (12A) 10.40, 1.20, 4.00, 6.50, 9.30 HAPPY-GO-LUCKY (15) 11.00 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.20, 8.40 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.20, 3.00, 5.30 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 8.00 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 2.50, 8.10 STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (PG) 11.00 STEP BROTHERS (15) 11.10, 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 WALL-E (U) 10.50, 1.15 WILD CHILD (12A) 5.40 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 3.40, 6.20, 9.00

Wednesday 3 BABYLON A.D (12A) 12.10, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 GET SMART (12A) 10.40, 1.20, 4.00, 6.50, 9.30 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.20, 8.40 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.20, 3.00, 5.30 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 8.00 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 2.50, 8.10 STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (PG) 11.00 STEP BROTHERS (15) 11.10, 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 WALL-E (U) 10.50, 1.15

WILD CHILD (12A) 12.30, 5.40 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 3.40, 6.20, 9.00

Thursday 4 BABYLON A.D (12A) 12.10, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 GET SMART (12A) 10.40, 1.20, 4.00, 6.50, 9.30 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.20, 8.40 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.20, 3.00, 5.30 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 8.00 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 2.50, 8.10 STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (PG) 11.00 STEP BROTHERS (15) 11.10, 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 WALL-E (U) 10.50, 1.15 WILD CHILD (12A) 12.30, 5.40 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 3.40, 6.20, 9.00

Films showing Friday 5–Monday 8 BABYLON A.D (12A) HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) STEP BROTHERS (15) ROCKNROLLA (15) WILD CHILD (12A)

Somers Town (12A)

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Tues 2-Thurs 4 September

Fri 5-Mon 8 September

GET SMART (12A) 5.30, 8.30

THE DUCHESS (12A) 2.00 (Sat,Sun), 5.00, 8.00

Tues 2-Weds 3 September

Mon 8 September

KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 1.00

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (12A) 2.00

MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY (PG) 3.15

24 latest 7

Dir: Jose Padilha Loosely adapted from André Batista’s novel, this brutal Brazilian effort carries a weighty dramatic punch. The story follows events surrounding the visit of the Pope to Rio de Janeiro in 1997. We follow the protagonist Captain Nascimento as he attempts to battle the drug trafficking in the slums and find a man to take over his role in the force. Meanwhile, two idealistic friends Neto and Matias join the force only to find corruption and inane bureaucracy. If you liked City of God then you’ll love this.

Showing at Duke of York’s

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

WORTHING CINEMA

Tues 2-Thurs 4 September

Elite Squad (18)

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Dir: Shane Meadows Britain’s most promising director returns after the success of This Is England with a thrifty treatise on urban living and teenage strife.

Meadows teams up again with Thomas Turgoose as he plays a teenager just released from social care and on the run in London where

Director: Guy Maddin Winding its way though a suburban mythology this haunting film is a deranged post-Freudian fantasy from the director of the equally bizarre but brilliant The Saddest Music in the World. Combining documentary style with comedic hysterics, this love/hate note to Maddin’s hometown in Canada is narrated by the director with hearty aplomb and mischievous glee in this commissioned piece. An enticing mix of animation, archive footage and deft reconstruction, this is a cocktail of dizzying, breathtaking proportions.

Showing at Duke of York’s

The Strangers (15)

Dir: Bryan Bertino Michael Haneke might want to have a word with the producers of this trite horror effort concerning his dark masterpiece Funny Games. The film follows a young couple – played by Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman - who after returning from a night out receive a knock on the door. What ensues is a violent, often bloody, encounter between three masked strangers and the young couple. But more importantly what ensues is a bloated and insipid encounter between mediocrity and pointlessness.

Showing at Odeon Craig Driver

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FILMFILM

Back to reality A look at Sussex University’s documentary screenings at the Sallis Benney Theatre Student film-makers at the University of Sussex will see their work premiered at the very first documentary degree show to be held in Brighton on Thursday 4 September.

Entitled Back to Reality, the film premiere features seven documentaries capturing the real lives of communities in Brighton and in locations around the world. This the first time

the University of Sussex will be showcasing some of the best documentaries to come out of the MA course.

No Place Like Home by Josh Bloom looks at the plight of the city's “hidden homeless” – people who often work, but have no place to call their own – through the eyes of three

Also showing…

A quick look at what’s on this week The Dark Knight (12A) Dir: Christopher Nolan The only real contender for Indy’s crown of most anticipated blockbuster this year is, of course, the return of Mr Bruce Wayne, A.K.A Batman. Christopher Nolan returns to helm the sequel to his stunning super-hero reboot Batman Begins with Heath Ledger creeping out Christian Bale, in the role he’ll be remembered for as none other than Batman’s arch-nemesis The Joker. A stellar cast bolsters proceedings with Michael Caine as butler Alfred, Aaron Eckhart as conflicted D.A Harvey Dent, Gary Oldman as Chief Gordon and Maggie Gyllenhaal as love interest Rachel Dawes. Ledger’s tipped for an Oscar for his haunting turn in the role rumoured to have pushed him over the edge before his tragic demise, so expect queues around the block for this classy comic-book adaptation.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Hellboy II: The Golden Army (12A) Dir: Guillermo Del Toro Mike Mignola’s cult comic book anti-hero makes a welcome return to the big screen.

Looking to continue the trend of big-budget

super-folk blockbusters getting better by the second film, The Golden Army pits Big Red (Ron Perlman), Liz (Selma Blair) and Abe Sapien (Pan’s Labyrinth’s Doug Jones) against a whole horde of mythical beasties.

With the huge success of Mexican director Del Toro’s fantasy horror Pan’s Labyrinth, he’s been given free reign for his impressively out-there imagination to run wild. Del Toro’s set to direct the eagerly anticipated film versions of The Hobbit, so catch an early glimpse here of his take on mythology.

Showing at Odeon, Cineworld, Duke of York’s Mamma Mia! (PG) Dir: Phyllida Lloyd A young woman searches for her real father whilst singing along to ‘Dancing Queen’, ‘Mamma Mia’ and other hits by Swedish super-troopers Abba. Meryl Streep plays the kookie mum with Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgård and Pierce Brosnan as the potential dads. The long-running and everpopular stage musical finally makes its way onto the big screen in exuberant, highly acclaimed style.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

men. Josh says: “I found out that 30 per cent of these people had jobs, working in low-paid sectors but still homeless. People can't afford the high rents of places like Brighton, even though they are in work. They sleep on friends' floors, in cars or even at their place of work. These are the hidden homeless. I hope to challenge the public perception that the only homeless people are the ones you see sleeping on park benches.”

Another film, Take Over, by Jordie Montevecchi, charts the actions of a group of squatters who recently took over a church building in Brighton. Two other local films feature the efforts of a mothers' group to pass on Korean culture and language to their children and No Prospect, a film about the music industry, film-making and friendship featuring the indie singer Carina Round and bands including The Cardigans and the Cocteau Twins.

Stories with an international flavour are told in films about the exploitation of indigenous porters of the Inca Trail; the lives of Hindu holy men and the kilim rug makers of Anatolia in Turkey.The event, at the Sallis Benney Theatre in Grand Parade, Brighton, is open to the public. Entry is free of charge and the evening begins at 6pm.

Lizzie Thynne, a professional documentary maker who is also Convenor of the MA Digital Documentary course, says: “This is the first year the course has run and the topics the students are tackling are very impressive. The course has attracted new film-makers from several countries who draw on a wide range of international experience as well as looking at some pressing local issues.”

Back to Reality will be screened at the Sallis Benney Theatre in Grand Parade, Brighton, on Thursday 4 September, from 6pm to 11pm. Entrance is free and no tickets are required so pop along for a free night of cinematic delight and social bonding.

For information see:http://www.sussex.ac.uk/showcase/ digitaldocumentary08/

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (12A) Dir: Rob Cohen It might be argued that what with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’s longawaited emergence, the time’s just right for another instalment of this Indy-esque series.

Brendan Fraser returns as adventurer Rick O’Connell, as does John Hannah as his cliché bumbling Brit brother-in-law. however, original director Stephen Sommers has jumped ship, replaced strangely by the director of The Fast and the Furious, and the action’s transported to China. Martial arts king Jet Li replaces Arnold Vosloo’s Egyptian baddie as ancient Chinese Emperor Qin, set on ruining the O’Connell family’s holiday.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld The Mist (15) Dir: Frank Darabont The director of The Shawshank Redemption returns to Stephen King source material once again for this seventies-style horror. Thomas Jane leads a decent cast of character actors playing a group of townsfolk who are stranded in a supermarket when a deadly mist envelops the store. As with most King adaptations, there’s the usual array of cardboard characterisations, the geek hero with inner strength and nasty deaths aplenty. A little thin, but Darabont makes up for this with taut direction and some nice beasties.

Showing at Odeon

Wall*E (U) Dir: Andrew Stanton Pixar hit paydirt again with this lovingly rendered cross between 70s eco-sci-fi Silent Running and E.T: The Extra-Terrestrial. The CGI animation giants could have easily opted for another re-run of the cutesy Toy Story formula, but instead go for this admittedly still cutesy, but ultimately meditative love story. Ben Burtt voices the titular cleaning robot (though there’s barely a word) charged with sorting out a polluted Earth after humanity’s jumped ship.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Wild Child (12A)) Dir: Nick Moore Julia Roberts’ niece Emma continues on her path toward the kind of megastardom of Auntie Julia with this teen-chick-flick.

Seemingly a cross between the caustic Mean Girls and schmaltzy Princess Diaries, Roberts plays Yank brat Poppy, who is sent by her despairing father (Aidan Quinn) to a posh British girls’ school. Needless to say there’ll be sub-Friends stereotyping galore in this bubblegum rites-de-passage comedy.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Nick Aldwinckle

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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

NEWS

Primate love Dr Robert, has reformed seminal 80s band the Blow Monkeys after 18 years. Jeff Hemmings got the diagnosis

Thurston Moore

Colour of Space Brighton’s festival of exploratory sound and sonic waywardness is back for a third year with an international cast headed by Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore, French free-vocalist Ghedalia Tazartes, krautrock legend Limpe Fuchs (and her homemade instruments apparently), Aaron Dilloway and Japanese sound-poet Makigami Koichi. There will also daytime screenings of experimental films, an infinite projection performance from New Yorker Bruce McClure, Sharon Gal’s Toy Orchestra workshop and much else besides.

Colour of Space, 5-7 September www.colourofspace.org

Miranda Sawyer For all you budding journos and hacks out there here’s a chance to see and hear one of pop culture’s most-well known spokespersons, Miranda Sawyer, at The Space, the monthly media and arts event that invites two well known figures to discuss their work and where the audience is able to ask questions and mingle. Sawyer contributes regularly to publications such as Time Out, Observer and the Daily Mirror, has interviewed many Aleague stars such as Oasis, Madonna and Paul Weller, and is a well known broadcaster on TV and radio. Joining her will be PR guru and media commentator Mark Borkowski.

The Space, Tuesday 2 September, LatestMusic Bar, 7.30pm, £5/3

Fronted by Dr Robert (Robert Howard) the Blow Monkeys formed in ‘81 and along with Mick Anker on bass, Neville Henry on sax and Tony Kiley on drums they released a number of hit albums and singles before splitting up at the beginning of the 90s. Named after an offensive term used in Australia (where Howard spent his teens), referring to Aboriginals playing the didgeridoo, the group had their biggest hits in the shape of ‘It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way’, ‘Digging Your Scene’, ‘Wait’ (an early UK garage track recorded with Kym Mazelle) and ‘Choice’.

The also collaborated with the likes of Eek-aMouse, and with Curtis Mayfield on ‘Celebrate (The Day After You)’ – you can see a great clip of this song performed live at Montreaux of Mayfield and the Monkeys on YouTube.

Somewhat largely forgotten about today, with hindsight you can see how their soulful and dancey ‘jazz glam’ along with intelligent and subtly political lyrics were a product of their time when innovative bands such as Frankie Goes to Hollywood, The Smiths and ABC ruled the artistic roost.

So, what’s been happening Robert? “Well, I’ve made eight solo albums and eight years ago I moved to Spain with my two kids. It’s a small village, a different culture, and we had to learn Spanish, but I love it there,” says Robert.

How come you reformed the band? “It felt like the right time, even though after 18 years we are quite different people. But we work really well as a band together – it’s the same band as before.”

The Blow Monkeys have just released their first album since 1990, Devil’s Tavern, a brilliantly realised fusion of funk, balladry, soul and jazz.

It’s not quite so shiny and plasticky as a lot of 80s productions can sound, but a little more earthier and it’s quite a comeback.

So, how have things changed in the industry over the years? “The internet has changed everything. It’s crafting a different way of making a record. We asked our fans if they wanted to contribute to making this record, and so we’ve ended up self-funding and producing everything ourselves. The fans get an advance copy and we get to make the record!”

Robert was never seemingly afraid of voicing an opinion and today he’s no different; “The record industry is full of tossers – they still own all my records,” he spits. “We had loads of debt even after selling millions of records. Record companies (referring to the overall plight and retrenchment of the majors) have to change, and what’s happening now is all for the good.”

So, is he keeping up with what’s going down musically? “My daughter is an NME chick and my son is into grime, so I get to hear a bit of what’s going on these days,” he says.

Although there’s a greatest hits coming out soon, the Doctor is averse to joining the 80s bandwagon. “I got approached to do the Here & Now tour (the 80s nostalgia tour that never ends) but I turned it down,” he says.

The Blow Monkeys, Komedia, 9 September.

Devil’s Tavern is out now

UPCOMING GIGS

Primal Scream Still showing the young ’uns how to rock and strut, this time as headliners of the NME Rock’n’Roll Riot Tour.

Tuesday 2 December, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Bad Manners 15 September, Concorde 2 Van Morrison 19 Sept, Dome British Sea Power 2 October, Corn Exchange Sam Sparro 3 October, Corn Exchange Art Garfunkel 6 October, Dome Seasick Steve 7 October, Dome Michael Bolton 6 October, Brighton Centre Stephen Stills 10 October, Brighton Centre Moody Blues 11 October, Brighton Centre Cajun Dance Party 13 October, Concorde 2 Does It Offend You 20 October, Concorde 2 Dr John 21 October, Dome The Hoosiers 25 October, Brighton Centre Level 42 30 October, Dome Hot Chip 5 November, Dome Motorhead 6 November, Dome Scouting For Girls 3 Nov, Brighton Centre

Alphabeat 3 November, Concorde 2 Steeve Winwood 10 November, Dome Mercury Rev 11 Nov, Corn Exchange Feeder 11 November, Dome Katie Melua 11 November, Brighton Centre Cardiacs 17 November, Komedia Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 23 November, Brighton Centre Nouvelle Vague 24 November, Corn Exchange Leonard Cohen 28 November,Brighton Centre Primal Scream 2 December, Dome Will Young 4 December, Dome Human League 5 December, Brighton Centre Neville Staple 6 December, Concorde 2 Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre Maddy Prior 15 December, Hove Centre

latest 7 27

028_LS388 music previews/Jaime

8/28/08

4:57 PM

Page 2

MUSIC

CLUBS

MUSIC

Jaime ‘til dawn

Bowerbirds

Jaime Pettit goes back to the old skool at the Concorde 2. Whistles anyone?

Enablers + Gorse + Monsters Build Mean Robots This brilliantly doom-laden San Francisco outfit sound like a curious mix of stoner rock with the spoken word vocals of Johnny Cash or Henry Rollins. Atmospheric, slow-burning magnificence.

Wednesday 3 September, Prince Albert Meshuggah The Concorde has only gone and got one of the very best metal bands on the planet gracing its stage. These veteran Swedes blend math, progressive, thrash and grind into a brutal, distinctive and thunderous noise.

Thursday 4 September, Concorde 2

Ponytail + Gentle, Friendly These Baltimore art-rockers are signed to the same label as Yeasayer, though are a very different prospect to that band’s sprawling psychedelia. Yelping, spiky punk-inspired pop, a childlike enthusiasm (hence their name) and a strikingly original sound mark Ponytail out as a great prospect.

Friday 5 September, Prince Albert Magdalena Reising This acclaimed jazz vocalist has played London’s famous Jazz Café and been compared favourably to the likes of Corinne Bailey Rae. Check her out, why don’t you?

Friday 5 September, Latest MusicBar

Bowerbirds + Mechanical Bride Quality North Carolina Americana kids with strong support from the twinkly, Brighton-based electro-folk band Mechanical Bride, playing songs from their just-released debut album.

Saturday 6 September, Prince Albert Carbon/Silicon The former Clash man Mick Jones’ new band, featuring former members of Generation X and Reef. A rare chance to see these punk legends on stage together.

Saturday 6 September, Brighton Coalition

Photos by: Ben Griffiths@Summer Payback, Concorde2

Richard Digance The popular singersongwriter of yore and man of a million and one chucklesome anecdotes embarks on yet another UK tour.

Thursday 4 September, Pavilion Theatre (Worthing)

legend has been around since the sixties.

Playing songs dating from throughout his career, this promises to be satisfyingly retrospective.

Saturday 6 September, Pavilion Theatre (Worthing)

I warned Fearne Cotton, ‘one more plug of all the festivals I’ve had to skip this weekend’, but she did. So as I fired my car radio out the window I thought, ‘next time it will be the station itself’ and promptly returned to my bitter pension-style mumbling.

Set in my Johnny Drama ways it seemed nothing could flip my mood around, until The Summer Payback@Concorde 2! I flounced in with rum in hand, priorities and all, to a packed crowd. All rolling over to have their fantasies re-ignited by rave legend Baby D! The dress code was as fancy as the plastic pints which rhythmically crunched under the crowd as they jolted like electrified cats. Neons, naked skin, dreads, tats, T’s and a fireman’s get up plastered the floor and bar as it was hard to distinguish lifetime friends with single-serving friendships. No one cared, united in bass they stand! Excitement erupted by the corner stall and as I neared the hive of fun I nearly took a glow stick to the eye. The place had morphed into a drunken glow stick circus as glowing weapons extended in every direction on the ends of string!

Thankfully there were one or two controlled types who demonstrated the sport of glow sticking (just on the fringe of Olympic nomination y’know!).

Some banged on about Chris Natural’s monster set, others the jungle stylings of Mickey Finn, personally I didn’t care who I had a bassabsorbing fit to! As we left ‘OI OI’ belted Baby D. I think they were hollering after you festival goers, just look at what you’re missing out on whilst you’re donned in Mac and waders!! I’m sorry Fearne, all is forgiven.

Jackie Leven This Fife singer-songwriter has been compared with Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen. With a strong cult following and an acoustic folk sound highly evocative of his homeland.

Sunday 7 September, Komedia Jerry Dammers Glastonbury’s Leftfield Stage presents this rare show from the man who helped create two-tone with his former band The Specials. In aid of the TUC, who are in town.

Monday 8 September, Latest Music Bar Hayes Carll + Laura Kauffman This Texan troubadour takes a hefty cue from the likes of Townes Van Zandt, Guy Clarke and Ray Wylie Hubbard, bringing a nice Americana flavour to the oft-indie Albert.

Monday 8 September, Prince Albert

Alvin Stardust Definitely NOT to be confused with Gary Glitter, this British rock and roll

Nick Aldwinckle

THE CHILLI FESTIVAL 2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE

THE BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking. Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people.

Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.

28 latest 7

Sat 20th & Sun 21st September, 11am–5pm Old Steine, Brighton, inc Saturday evening National Chilli Awards

Spicy Foods from around the World Chilli Market Hot Live Bands Live Chilli Food Stage National Chilli Awards

(Sat eve only) tickets on sale on the day Adults £2.50 Children/Concessions £1

2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE

LATIN IN THE LANE 10–11 Kings Road, Brighton East Sussex BN1 1NE 01273 328672 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking. Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people.

Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

029_LS388 music_reviews jeff

8/28/08

9:35 AM

Page 1

MUSIC

MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases At the other end of the age spectrum 72-year-old Glen Campbell is a legend of rock and pop, having made over 70 albums, played for some of the greatest including Presley and Sinatra, had a few monster hits, hosted his own TV show for three years, acted alongside John Wayne in True Grit, had problems with alcohol and drug abuse, been married four times…

Well, the old terrier is at it again with Meet Glen Campbell, a collection of covers including tunes by the likes of Travis, Tom Petty, Foo Fighters, The Replacements, Velvet Underground, John Lennon et al. A superb countryrock sound throughout.

Back after 18 years The Blow Monkeys are back with a new album, Devils’ Tavern, and a tour. Robert Howard and old chums have come up with the goods, reminding us that they were actually a top band, ahead of their time in many ways and who combined their essentially joyous music with a strong political sensibility. Full of soul, these glam jazzers have kept the pop faith.

Roots Manuva has proved himself to be the finest UK hip hopper of the last decade, and new album Slime & Reason is another innovative work that combines grime, ragga, hip hop, electro-funk and even African vibes within this masterly work.

For any fans of intelligent heavy music, the thought of former Godflesh, Napalm Death and currently Jesu man Justin Broadrick and Swans collaborator Jarboe is a mouth-watering Roots Manuva prospect. Entitled J2, the short term for Joules, a measure of thermal energy, this record is all about the exchange of a kind of sonic energy between eerie vocal flutters and slowly grinding post-metal guitar.

A quietly affecting embrace, Broadrick’s trademark densely layered clash between heavy bass and high treble mourning works beautifully with Jarboe’s emotive wails.

With Bestival taking place this week, the release of a compilation of bands involved this year, A to Z: Bestival 2008 is nothing if not timely. A two disc set covering bands old (808 State, Human League), new and ‘hotly-tipped’ (Black Kids, The Shortwave Set) and a little from pretty much every type of music on the bill, this perfectly represents the spirit of Bestival – diversity, creativity and above all, good music. Fresh acts like thecockandbullkid feature alongside rare tracks from more established artists such as Foals.

Alan McGee’s new pet project Glasvegas combines atmospheric, feedback and reverb drenched 50s rock’n’roll with contemporary nononsense attitude on their eponymous debut album. The songs generally segue into one another, the pressure is close to overwhelming and it all sounds huge and menacing. Great song titles too.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.latest7.co.uk/chart Or hear the full chart with Jeff and Nick on Radio Reverb, 97.2fm every Tuesday 4-6pm/12-2am Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10

★ 1 Sherlock Bones – The Ugly Bugs Balls ★ 2 Hardkandy – The Squeeze 3 ThePrjctMyhm – FreeForAll 4 Portslade – Girls and Boys 5 The Woo!worths – Konichiwa 6 Jaybee – Sweet Savage 7 sMs – I’m Sorry Dave 8 Caramel Jack – Curtain 9 Caramel Jack – We Could Build Skyscrapers 10 Tenek – State of Mind We have a new number one this week as the old-fashioned soul-sampling big beat of Sherlock Bones’ ‘The Ugly Bugs Balls’ defeats all comers. Meanwhile the electro-funk of Hardkandy moves up to two, pushing trip-hoppers ThePrjctMyhm down to three.

Classics-loving Portslade jump to four as indie electro kids The Woo!worths hit five.

11 Guerrilla Audio Another Life 12 sMs Airport Dreaming 13 Dates Thief 14 Tractor Countdown Control 15 The Eric Experiment I Think it’s Impossible 16 Jay Pulman Last Orders 17 The Mighty Rivals Something in My Way 18 Digitalis No Control 19 Death Cabaret Forlorn Hope 20 Cath O’Drae Mugged by the System 21 Django Spears No Limit 22 Dannydangerously Haribo 23 Scribe-Tribe Freedom 24 Cath O’Drae Sofageddon 25 Electralounge South of Normal

26 Kiyomori None of the Above 27 Eminemmylou The Way I Am 28 Without Warrant Superego 29 Cakeboy Damage featuring Frances Law 30 Abstrakt & Buzz Devil to Pay 31 Loc E Chemical Romance 32 Without Warrant Stop the Machine 33 David Bolstridge Love is Only Sweet...

34 Kovak Death in the Disco 35 Thoughts Collide I’ll Buy You a Megaphone 36 Thankyou Anyway Nowhere Else to Go 37 Friday Night Hero Outside 38 Atalanta Blue Tears (Radio edit) 39 Legs MC Push 40 Abstrakt Matchstick Mayhem

latest 7 29

000_LS388_LMB

29/8/08

12:06 PM

Page 1

latest

01273 687171 formerly joogleberry

musicbar tuesday sept 2nd

the space

with special guests miranda sawyer and PR £5/£3 7.30pm guru mark borkowski

wednesday sept 3rd £6/£5

8pm

thursday sept 4th £7 8pm

friday sept 5th £7 7.30pm BOOM BOOM SALOON FREE 10.30pm - 2.30am

saturday sept 6th £7 7.30pm

now booking xmas dinners world music wednesdays xmas parties swing Andrea Kenny + weddings, Will Johns deVille trio civil partnerships, ola onabule soul star with a four & a half birthdays… octave voice bridging soul, jazz Glenn Middleton & world music plus support …for the funkiest magdalena reising one of the UK’s leading jazz singers parties call the parlophones us and book 5 piece 60’s themed band £7 9pm the venue• electralounge+porchlight smoker for FREE americana & country blues night wor wedmusild nes c day

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FREE 10.30pm - 2.30am

sunday sept 7th

BOOM BOOM

roast ‘n’ jazz

£10 incl lunch

sara oschlag vocals +terry seabrook piano

monday sept 8th

leftfield present don letts plus special guests in a special TUC gig

12.30pm – 3.30pm

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gay tango workshop tango lessons for all £10 8pm

SALOON WHERE ANYTHING GOES!

FREE CLUB

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar 14 - 17 Manchester Street joogleberry.com

check our website for full programme

031_LS388_music_listings

8/28/08

4:52 PM

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MUSIC

For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk

MUSIC& CLUBLISTINGS 2 – 8 Sep Tuesday 2 Live Music Brighton Jams Brighton based improvised funk band. Thomas Kemp Pub, 8pm, free Kill Kenada + The Horse + The Upperclass Killings Sleaze-rockers from that hotbed of debauchery, Bognor. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Bars and clubs Audio Snide. Indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Digital Glitterati.Student night.11pm–3am,£4/3 Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and emo. 10:30pm–2am, £2/1 Po Na Na Tap. Hip hop, R’n’B. 11pm–4am,£5/4 Water Margin International Student Party.

Drinks promos all night. 10pm–5am, £5/3

Wednesday 3 Live Music Breakthrough with Rough Trade: My Tiger My Timing + The Lanes + Foxes Live bands & Club NME. Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, free Claude Acoustic reggae. Juggler, 8:30pm, free Enablers + Gorse + Monsters Build Mean Robots Brilliant, doomy San Francisco stoner rockers. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Open Mac Night Innovative electronic open mic night. Sidewinder, 9pm, free Swing DeVille Trio .Gypsy jazz as part of World Music Wednesdays Latest MusicBar (ex Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £6/5 Bars and clubs Brighton Coalition Club NME. Beerfest for rock/indie fans. 10:30pm–3:30am, free Funky Buddha Lounge We Luv 90s. Classic 90s anthems. 90p. Contact venue for details Water Margin Genetics. D’n’B, free b4 12, £1/2 after. Contact venue for details

Thursday 4 Live Music Heaven’s Basement + Swallowing Shotguns Engine Rooms, 8pm, £5 Look-In with The Lanes + Luz De Sol Local indie kids. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Meshuggah One of the best metal bands in the world, these Swedish veterans blend math, prog and a deathly grind. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £13 Richard Digance Veteran singer-songwriter and man of a million funny stories. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £13.50–£15 Soundfactory Stripped: The Doo-Wop Girls New acoustic night. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Bars and clubs Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret capers and outrageous stage games. 10pm–3am, £3/1 Audio Mad for it. Brighton’s legendary indie night. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1.50 Honey Club Contagious. Southern FM’s Paul Hilyer plays house & dance.10:30pm–3am,£3/1 The Hope Brap FM. Moif, Pav, 1UP, Pook and The Recess with everything from downtempo to techno. 8pm–2am, free Po Na Na Off the Wall. Funk, soul and Motown

from the 50s to present day. 10pm–3am, £2 Water Margin Artrocker. Experimental electro hooks up with live indie. 8pm- 3am, £5/3

Friday 5 Live Music The Barrelhouse: Harry’s Band 40s swing & jive with a band & DJ.Hanbury Club,7pm, £6–£9 Byron Wallen’s Indigo Brighton Jazz Club event. Komedia, 8pm, £14/12 Duncan Grimface Punk/rock night. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free Feedback XIII: Two Spot Gobi + Seeker + Rich Somers + Kiina Acoustic soul locals Two Spot Gobi, supported by funk-poppers Seeker.

Brighton Coalition, 7pm, £5/4 The Gecko Brothers Tribute to Paul Weller and The Jam. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free No Jacket Required Britain’s best 11-piece Phil Collins tribute. Worthing Assembly Hall, 8pm, £12.50–£14.50 Oasish + Stereotonics Britpop tributes play Blur & Travis covers. Komedia, 7:30pm, £10 Ola Onabule Soul and jazz performer who performed at the Beckhams’ wedding! Latest MusicBar (ex Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £7 The Parlophones 5 piece sixties themed band.

Latest MusicBar (ex Joogleberry Playhouse), 9.30pm, £7 Ponytail + Gentle, Friendly Gloriously raucous Baltimore art-rockers signed to Yeasayer’s label.

Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Magdalena Reising Jazz singer-songwriter compared to Corinne Bailey Rae. Latest MusicBar (ex Joogleberry ), 7.30pm, £7 Shadows Fall + Exit 10 + Five Finger Death Punch + Cry For Silence Not quite Meshuggah, but still a decent thrash-infused yank metal band. Concorde 2, 6pm, £12.50 The Subliminals + Saw Gang Buzz + The Electric Red Drive Alternative rock night.

Providence, 8pm, £1 Bars and clubs Arc Sweet and Dandy. Sixties. 11pm–3am, £3 Audio Shogun. Drum’n’Bass night with DJ LTJ Bukem. 11pm–4am, £tbc Brighton Coalition Fieston. The best Latin and urban sounds to dance away your Friday night!

Salsa, reggaeton & Latin house.11pm–3am, Digital Stone Love. 101 per cent maximum indie rock’n’roll. 11pm–3am, £6/5 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock for eyeliner’d boys & girls in PVC. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Honey Club Hardsouth – 5th Birthday.

Undeniably house at its diamond blasting hardest. Line-up TBC. 11pm–5am, £5–£10 The Hope Shindig! Pick’n’Mix club soiree with a different theme every night. 9pm–2am, £5 Komedia Stick it On. Playing host to the nonsuperstar DJs and whacking them on the decks for their 15 minutes of fame. 11pm–3am, £5 Latest MusicBar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse) Boom Boom Saloon. Late night liquor lounge. DJ Lorngerie and DJ Breadbelly spinning rock ‘n’ roll, rhythm ‘n’ blues, country

funk, soul & swing! 10:30pm–2:30am, free Ocean Rooms Somewhere in the Universe.

Henron mixes up his usual frenzy with Justice, Daft Punk and MSTRKRFT. 10pm–4am, £3–£5 Pavilion Tavern Kick out the Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem with indie & punk. 10:30pm–3am, £4/3 Tru Club Generation. Three rooms with commercial dance, R’n’B and dollops of cheesey 70s and 80s hits. 10pm–3am, £10/8 Water Margin B-Side. Tech and filthy electro with Tiger Lily and Paul My Fingah. 2am, £5

Saturday 6 Live Music Alvin Stardust The Brit rock and roll legend plays songs from five decades. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £14.50–£16 Arthur Gunn and the Coloramas + The Vinyls + Sara Thor Mod, garage and folk with DJs playing 60s/70s indie. The Hope, 8pm, £4/3 Bowerbirds + Mechanical Bride With the talented Brighton electro-folk folk Mechanical Bride. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Carbon/Silicon Former Clash man Mick Jones’ new outfit. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £10 Diagonal + Team Brick Progressive rock tribute play King Crimson, Van Der Graaf Generator & early Genesis.St Andrew's,6pm, £6 Electralounge + Porchlight Smokers Country-fried Brighton rockers. Latest MusicBar (ex Joogleberry Playhouse), 7.30pm, £7 Errol Linton’s Blues Vibe + Chippy Mobbs Blues night. All Saints Centre, 8pm, £8/6 The Las Vegas Mermaids Mad fusion of cabaret, electro & rock-opera. Silly costumes & silly tunes. Horse and Groom, 8pm, free Sheeva + Special Red + The Romcoms Rock night. The Providence, 8pm, £1 We Got Jazz presents Rockin’ and Rhythm 30s and 40s themed swing band. Latest MusicBar (ex Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £5

Jungle/d’n’b/reggae/dubstep. 11pm–5am, £6 Water Margin Blah Blah Blah. New wave electro, indie, disco. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Logo.

DJs spin house. 3am–8am, £7/5

Sunday 7 Live Music The Acorn South By Southwest favourites play folk and electro. The Hope, 8pm, £6 Carly Bryant Popular local singer-songwriter.

Tender, apparently. Sidewinder, 8pm, free Indiepop Sunday: The Blue Prophet + Space Girl + Pete Green + Komon + Amy + Simon Bridger + Rob Sinden + Jon Slade A Sunday bonanza of indie music, with club event in the evening. Prince Albert, 2pm, £3–£5 Jackie Leven Fife singer-songwriter compared to Bob Dylan. Komedia, 8pm, £10 Roast ‘n’ Jazz: Sara Oschlag Jazz vocalist with Terry Seabrook on piano. Oh, and a nice Sunday roast! Latest MusicBar (ex Joogleberry Playhouse), 12.30pm, £10 inc food Ana Silvera Waltzy singer-songwriter. Latest MusicBar (ex Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £5 Summer Slaughter UK: Suicide Silence + As Blood Runs Black + Abigail Williams + Born of Osiris + Annotations Of An Autopsy + The Berzerker Metal bonanza notable for a rare Brighton appearance by insanely heavy death/industrial metal aussies The Berzerker. Concorde 2, 6pm, £12.50 Bars and clubs Honey Club Sundelicious. Knockin’ siesta Sundays into the past, Lee Garrett and Salerno play house and soulful beats. 10pm–3am, £2/1 The Open House We Change the Frequency.

Tipping up the box of predictable music, Stephen Jarvis boshes out Radiohead to National Forest and Playgroup. 8pm, free

Monday 8 Bars and clubs Arc Hold up. Indie. 10:30pm–4am, £5 Audio Summer of Love. Free party. 10:30pm3:30am, free Brighton Coalition Floorplay. Join Prok and Fitch’s future house.10:30pm–4am, £10/8 Aftermoon. Jason Pepperell plays funk’d up beats. 3am–8am, free Concorde 2 Freebass. Zapback and Lunarcy present three rooms of bass. 11pm, free Digital Pussycat Club. Debauchery with the Pussycat club. Funky house & electro from DJ Nippa & Alex Outram. 11pm–4am, £12/10 Engine Rooms Ooky Ook. 50s rock ‘n’ roll and 60s garage. 11pm–3am, £5 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk & house from Mike Panteli.10pm–3am,£10 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house with guests. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5 Latest MusicBar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse) The Boom Boom Saloon. Late night liquor lounge with DJ Lorngerie and DJ Breadbelly spinning rock ‘n’ roll, R ‘n’ B, country funk, soul & swing! 10:30pm–2:30am, free Pavilion Tavern Mod for it. Park up your Vespa for the Who, Kinks and more. 10pm–2am, £5/4 Volks Psychedelicious. Treats from psytrance upstairs to breaks, funk and chill in the low level Followed by Brighton Sounds ‘After Party’.

Live Music Jerry Dammers Founder and keyboard player with The Specials plays a gig for the TUC. Latest Music Bar (ex Joogleberry), 7pm, £tbc Hayes Carll + Laura Kauffman Acclaimed country musician. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Jeff Lewis New York psychedelic singersongwriter. Concorde 2, 8pm, £8 Kirsty McGee Roaming, folksy singersongwriter blends English literary songwriting & yank sounds.Ravenswood,Sharpthorne,8pm, £10 Seabear Reykjavik folk-popsters who have recorded with members of Sigur Ros and Mum. The Hope, 7:30pm, £6/5 Bars and clubs Funky Buddha Lounge Urban Lounge. DJs Outbreak, Rudeben and Dubl break out the best garage, R’n’B, Hip Hop, Bashment and swing.

10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with drinks £1.50 all night. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Volks Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, bashment, roots and revival. 10pm, £4.50/3.50

Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Jaime Pettit

To advertise here costs only £20 Call Marie Viviani now!

01273 818150 ext 102 ➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details

latest 7 31

032_LS388 gay news/will

8/28/08

4:53 PM

Page 2

LATESTGAY

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Brighton’s only weekly gay guide

William Tells

NEWS

Will Harris wants to look into your eyes, not around your eyes, and you’re under

Treasured goods A TV antiques expert will offer advice in aid of the Sussex Beacon.

Mark Stacey from Flog It and colleagues from Lyon and Turnball South will take part in the fundraiser this Friday (5 September).

They will help you discover the true value of the family heirloom, that gift from a favourite aunt or the contents of the box in the attic. They will specialise in furniture, ceramics, paintings and collectors' items.

Bring along your items to be valued at Hollingbury Park Golf Club, Ditchling Road, Brighton from 10am to 5pm.

Julie Hales, community fundraiser for the Sussex Beacon, said: "There is plenty of free parking and refreshments will be available - it's first come, first served."

Visitors will be asked to pay £5 for the first two items and then £2 per item. All money will go to the HIV national care centre in Bevendean Road, Brighton.

Being civil overseas A Member of the European Parliament has launched a campaign to get UK civil partnerships recognised in the rest of Europe.

Sharon Bowles, Lib Dem MEP for South East England, is lobbying for other EU Member States that have same-sex partnership legislation to recognise UK civil commitments.

At the moment recognition is inconsistent. France, for example, while acknowledging them does not give them the full status of their own Pacte civil de Solidarité (PACS).

A consequence of this is that there is no exemption from inheritance tax in France for a surviving partner in a UK civil partnership. Several couples who have bought property in France have been left with the surviving partner finding themselves liable to inheritance tax and sometimes having to sell up following bereavement.

In contrast, the UK recognises French civil partnerships on a full and equal basis to UK partnerships, including exemption from inheritance tax.

Ms Bowles said: "I see no reason for France and other Member States not to recognise civil partnerships on an equal basis. Several of my constituents have written to me concerning inheritance tax on property jointly owned in France. I am aware several other MEPs have received similar correspondence."

Ms Bowles raised the matter with the French Justice Minister Rachida Dati and has drafted a written declaration with the International Lesbian and Gay Association.

32 latest 7

It’s a fairly simple proposition. According to my friend Maria, all I have to do to snare the man of my dreams is to make eye contact with them and then lock them in my sights no matter what they do. If they aren’t interested, it will be obvious and I’ll move on to my next target. If they are, I’ll use my newly discovered super-vision to reel them in. The only problem is this: I am spectacularly rubbish with strangers.

As I stand on the corner of Dean Street surveying all the heaving masses of Soho Pride, tiny seeds of nervousness begin to bloom inside me and it suddenly strikes me that this is a very silly plan indeed.

“I can’t do this!” I complain. “The man of my dreams is not in this crowd; well, not unless you count the dreams where I wake up at 3am soaked in sweat and screaming.”

“What about him?” asks Maria. “He’s gorgeous.”

“That’s a girl,” I say. “Stop drinking.”

Actually, on second thoughts I grab Maria’s glass of Früli from her hand and down the contents in one gulp. This is going to take some serious Dutch courage; so much so, in fact, that I may have to invest in a pair of clogs and start looking for a windmill.

“I have a chilling vision of my future, old and alone, standing over a bedsit sink eating Ambrosia Creamed Rice straight from the tin“ The first few guys I try to target with my death-stare, I fail abysmally; every time they catch my eye, I bottle it and pretend to be looking at something just behind them. It then takes me a good few minutes to realise the ‘something’ I keep pretending to look at is, in fact, a morbidly obese teenager with highlights and a pierced eyebrow. Who is now looking hopefully in my direction.

“Maria, this isn’t working for me.” I sigh, turning around to suggest we find alternative fishing grounds (having had to throw back the one boy I’ve caught so far on the grounds that whaling’s illegal).

But Maria isn’t there. Maria is off down the street, deep in conversation with a girl I’m pretty confident she’s only just met, and behind me instead is a boy with strawberry blond hair and a naughty smile (my favourite combination), and he’s looking right at me.

I’m about to turn my head away when I suddenly have a chilling vision of my future self, old and alone, standing over a bedsit sink eating Ambrosia Creamed Rice straight from the tin. In short, the sad remains of a life spent fearing eye contact. Just like that, my eyes are opened, and I find myself looking right back at the boy who’s looking at me.

“John?” he says, smiling.

I shake my head. I’m not John, but I’m not bothered either. You see, now I’ve done it once, I know I can do it again. So, in answer to the question asked last week: yes, the eyes have it.

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 159 ACROSS: 5 Uvea 7 Nurseryman 8 Asia 10 Gluttony 11 Prison 12 Hebrew 14 Stance 16 Arctic 17 Unending 19 Lath 21 Domination 22 True.

DOWN: 1 Inca 2 Assassin 3 Dragon 4 Ambush 5 Unit 6 Evangelist 9 Scrutineer 13 Baculite 15 Enigma 16 Argent 18 Nude 20 Hand.

Solution to Quick 159 ACROSS: 5 Ogpu 7 Highwayman 8 Eton 10 Recessed 11 Willow 12 Siesta 14 Embryo 16 Chevin 17 Thespian 19 Iona 21 Gramophone 22 Stun.

DOWN: 1 Shoe 2 Chandler 3 Marrow 4 Smacks 5 Onus 6 Pedestrian 9 Triumphant 13 Eyesight 15 Ovisac 16 Canyon 18 Sign 20 Apex. © Crossword Shop

If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk

033_LS388_gay listings

8/28/08

3:06 PM

Page 1

GAY

For full listings & venues go to thelatest.co.uk

GAYLISTINGS 2 – 8 September Tuesday 2 Amsterdam Amsterdam Spice. Enjoy a curry, rice, poppadom and Cobra beer from £6.99 then a Bollywood movie! Bar open 11am–11pm, free.

Brighton Tavern City of Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus. Bar open 12pm, free.

Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Twisted Karaoke. Twisted Karaoke is your golden opportunity to get vocal with over 3,000 tracks to choose from. 10pm, free.

Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday! Relaxed, friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free.

Queen’s Arms Karaoke with Betty Swollocks.

9pm, free.

R-Bar Shoot Me Baby! Get a FREE shot of Corky’s or Sourz with every alcoholic bevvy!

12:pm–2am, free.

Revenge Flashback. The best 80s nostalgic tunes from Lady P and Two-Foot. 10:30pm–3am, £2/NUS go free.

Wednesday 3 Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Miss-Shapes. A cool mix of indie and pop for a crowd of cool gay kidz. 10pm, £tbc.

Legends Relax – It’s Wednesday! Bar open 11am–5am, free.

Prince Regent Swimming Pool Out to Swim South. 8:30pm, £4 per session.

R-Bar Cocktail Club. Enjoy the champagne lifestyle on lemonade money. 12pm–2am.

Revenge Pop! SEXY. Expect live on stage entertainment and chart pop and R’n’B. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2NUS. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Bar open 12pm–11pm.

The Basement Play. with DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am, free.

Thursday 4 Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret capers and outrageous stage games moulded with a little pop, funk, krunk ‘n’ electro junk. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1.

Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm, £4/3.

Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Booty Call Monthly. Rockin’ R’n’B night! £tbc. Contact venue for details.

Queen’s Arms Lucky Dip Karaoke. hosted by Betty Swollocks. 12pm–11:30pm, free.

R-Bar I can’t wait for the weekend to begin!

12pm–2am, free.

Revenge Girls On Top. Fabulously trashy weekly lesbian night with DJ Smiffy. 10:30pm–4am, free b4 11:30 with passes, £4/5 after.

The Basement Eddie K’s Jukebox. 11pm–4am.

Revenge Lollipop vs Housexual. Top pop tunes from Stewart T. Upstairs find funky vocal house with DJ Hollie and guests. 10:30pm–5am, free b4 11/£5 b4 12/£7 after.

Star Inn The Return of the Friday Bears Inc. with guest DJs playing uplifting funky house and pop remixes. 8pm–1am, free.

The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket.

Double the DJ power with Alex Baker playing girly pop & handbag tracks all night long.

11pm–4am, free for first 150 b4 12/£4 after.

Saturday 6 Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am, free.

Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Wigout.

Soho’s long running pop party. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. Tbc. Contact venue for details.

Legends Pre Ignition. 7pm, free.

Queen’s Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin.

Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm).

Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free.

R-Bar Kinky – The Early Session. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous with new boy on the block, Jozzie O. 9pm–7am, free.

Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Gay Brighton’s Kings of the Saturday night! 4 top DJs, 2 floors, and 6.5 hours of fun. 10:30pm–5am, £3/7.

Star Inn Bear Essentials. DJ Charlie. Bar open 12pm–1am, free.

The Aquarium Theatre Bar Cabaret Night.

9pm, free.

The Basement Ignition. with the dance sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free for first 100 b4 12/£5 after.

The PV at The Jury’s Out Saturday Madness.

The best in Brighton duets from 4.30pm, then from 8.30pm PV’s house DJs take to the decks!

Bar open 12pm, free.

Sunday 7 Amsterdam Sunday lunch. Traditional roasts (12–5.30pm) and relaxing Sunday vibes with a cabaret twisted. Hosted by Connie Conway from 8pm, free.

Audio Sunday Sundae. Delve into a unique blend of old skool house and pop classics served up by DJs Richard Jones, Diablo and Kate Wildblood. 6pm, £3/4/5.

Legends Sunday Cabaret with Kandi Kane.

3.15pm, free.

Po Na Na Cash Queen. DJs Mick Fuller, Freddie Thomas and Sarah Favouritism on rotation serving up large helpings of sexy, soulful and funky house! £4/5/7. Contact venue for details.

The Basement Embrace. Remixed Pop tracks with G-A-Y DJ, Nick Shepherdson. 11pm–4am.

Friday 5 Amsterdam The Jazz Lounge with Wesley Sebastian. Swing and jazz. 9pm, free.

Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Popstarz. Indie anthems, alternative classics and current underground hits. 10pm, £tbc.

Legends Pre Celebration. Pure pop sounds.

7pm, free.

Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack. Cabaret and games. Bar open 12pm–1am, free.

R-Bar Lollipop Warm Up. Flex the drinking arm at this weekend warm up. 12pm–5am, free.

Dynamite Boogaloo, Thursday

Monday 8 Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Gimmie gimmie gimmie a musical, some fresh popcorn and a drink from the bar! Bar open 11am, free.

Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin the best party tracks spanning the last 4 decades with drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50.

Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix. 10pm–2am, £3/2.

Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. A hysterical night of cabaret with Dave Lynn and friends, 9:30pm. Bar open 11pm–5am, free.

Queen’s Arms Cherry Poppins Karaoke Show. plus drinks promos, 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free.

The Basement Back to the 80s and 90s. Let DJ Steve Lush whisk you back with his classic floorfillers. 11pm–4am, free.

Latest Gay is looking for club reviewers and photographers for our magazine and website. Sample the best of Brighton’s scene for free and tell the world what you think of the city’s bars and clubs.

Send your CV with a 200 word review of a recent club night or three pictures from a club to Latest 7 editor Rachel Pegg at rachel@thelatest.co.uk

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details

latest 7 33

032_LS388_TVIntro

8/29/08

10:53 AM

Page 2

latestTV

Dani on TV

What’s hot on the box

Films on TV

This episode was shown on Sunday 24 August If you have been becoming a bit sick of your homeland and feel like you need a Britain-loving boost then this was the show for you. I have never seen Britain displayed so beautifully.

This programme basically showed you Britain from above, and it did it well. Using photographs from German planes that once bombed us, we saw images of our country in despair, to the colours and patterns our lights show to the universe in the midst of a dark night. Our own glorious constellation floating in the galaxy.

It was narrated by a slightly strange chap, but what he said was interesting and if you like collecting interesting useless facts like me, then he is a man in the know.

FRIDAY 5

The Peacemaker ★★✩✩✩ (2001, BBC1, 10.35pm.

Dir Mimi Leder) Isn’t it great when men and women work well together to save the civilised world? May we present US army type George Clooney and his civilian tag along Nicole Kidman.

Trying to stop stolen Russian nuclear weapons is a tough job but somebody’s got to do it. These two.

Just Friends ★★★✩✩

WEDNESDAY 3

One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing ★★★★★

★★★★✩ (1946, Channel 4, 1.30pm.

Dir Michael Powell) David Niven is the pilot shot down in World War II only to find himself taken too soon to heaven, where he argues for his life. At the same time, his existence continues on Earth while the powers that be decide his fate and he falls in love with the delightful Kim Hunter. Exactly what afternoon telly is supposed to be about.

34 latest 7

(2005, BBC1, 11.40pm. Dir Roger Kumble) The curse of being stuck in the ‘friend zone’ is outlined in this formula comedy starring Ryan Reynolds as the stuckee, Amy Smart as the object of his devotion and Anna Faris as his mad client with desires upon his person. Oo-er missus. Fun for a Friday.

SATURDAY 6 (1976, BBC2, 3.35pm.

Dir Robert Stevenson) Disney film showing us exactly what England’s all about – Big Ben, bowler hats and nannies. Derek Nimmo steals a secret formula from the Chinese and hides it for his nanny (Helen Hayes) to find in the Natural History Museum on a dinosaur. With Peter Ustinov’s Hnup Wan in hot pursuit, it’s loveable farce time and no mistake.

King Kong ★★★★✩ (2005, ITV1, 7.50pm. Dir Peter Jackson) The giant ape is back, falling for the girl – Naomi Watts, captivating the film director – Jack Black, and weakening the structure of tall buildings in the New York state area.

Oscar-winning in its visual effects and a great yarn.

“Our little rivers glistened from above and our fields looked like a freshly shaken quilt” This was the story of how we have changed the land we live on. The good things and the not so good things. How our motorway system has eaten into what was once lush farming land. Our little rivers glistened from above and our fields looked like a quilt that had just been freshly shaken across a bed. Patchworks of farmland, tiny villages and large towns and cities. But as few as 60 years ago our little island looked a lot different. The twisting and turning major road junctions were not there and the cities hadn’t spewed out over as much as they do now. But this show didn’t just show you what these things look like from above, they let you meet the people that changed it, that are in charge of the changes that are still to come.

In the past episodes, we were shown the pattern all the air fields made, that were built during the war. Which made all the aeroplanes that fought our war. Six out of every ten were shot down. This is the reason Stanstead was created. The government had wanted to expand the airport by bulldozing three quiet villages in the surrounding area.

Thankfully however, the villagers fought back and saved those beautiful old places, until now.

The face of the country has changed, as has the lives of those living on it. When mechanical machinery took over from people working on farms tens of thousands of jobs disappeared too. Along with many of the workers’ cottages, and the hedgerows, as the bigger machinery needed bigger fields. In a strange way, the beauty that we see now from above, the lush fields and bursting farmlands once looked even more stunning.

I love programmes like this. I love anything that shows our country in a new light. Its great bits and its ugly bits. Fall in love with your country the easy way.

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 2

A Matter of Life and Death

Britain from Above

2–8 September

SUNDAY 7 The Producers ★★★★✩

A Matter Of Life And Death, Channel 4, Wednesday 3, 1.30pm

THURSDAY 4

(2005, Five, 7.30pm. Dir Susan Stroman) Theatre promoter Nathan Lane coerces accountant Matthew Broderick into investing in what he hopes is a sure-fire musical flop in a bid to write some cash off for tax. Gathering a terrible text, abysmal performers and anything that can go wrong they sit back and wait for the results. With some of the award-winning Broadway cast. Class.

All of Me ★★★✩✩

MONDAY 8

(1984, BBC1, 11.15pm. Dir Carl Reiner) Directed by Carl Reiner – father of top director Rob Reiner – you can tell the Reiner men like their frothiness with a side order of warmth about humankind. This Steve Martin vehicle has him being part-possessed by the soul of a recently departed millionairess (played by Lily Tomlin).

Throw in Victoria Tennant pretending she has the soul and living the life of luxury demanded by it and it’s a puffed tale of goodness over adversity. Ahh.

Keeping Mum ★★★★✩ (2005, Channel 4, 10pm.

Dir Niall Johnson) In a sleepy little village, in a vicarage inhabited by Rowan Atkinson with his cuckolding wife Kirsten Scott Thomas, there is a housekeeper who sorts out problems. Neatly. Although mess is involved initially. Maggie Smith plays brilliantly as the psychopathic tidy-upper in this dark comedy from a British stable. Also starring Patrick Swayze.

035_LS388_TV_Tues

8/27/08

11:44 AM

Page 1

tuesday 2 Big Brother: Eviction Show Channel 4, 8pm & 10pm “But it’s Tuesday” you say!

Despite this blip in the general system of what day those scintillating folk in the biggest goldfish bowl in the country come out, we have an eviction. Two, in fact. Bet that’ll shake ‘em up a bit. Join Davina as she interviews them and finds out the details of the petty squabbling.

Superhuman: Super Strong ITV1, 9pm Should be a source for a new Marvel comic, is actually a documentary about the strongest people on the planet. The world’s strongest couple are about to have a baby. Will it be lifting weights with the umbilical cord?

Is it nature or nurture or simply an awful lot of protein? Many questions, a few answers.

The Real Hustle BBC3, 7pm and 7.30pm Combining some classic scams with some relative newbies – identity theft from items found in your rubbish seems to fall into both of these categories – as well as a round up of the series proves highly entertaining.

Pretending to teach you to be wary but really enabling more of us to be on the con. Class.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Lazytown 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 The Owl 4.05 Hedz 4.35 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Mister Maker 9.20 Something Special – Out and About 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.55 Pingu 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Back To Bataan (1945) 12.00pm What Are You Like? 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 2008 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 A Touch of Frost 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 8.55 Frasier (x2) 9.55 ER 10.55 Ugly Betty 11.55 Bright Young Wonders 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Property Ladder 1.30 FILM: One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine with Me

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.35 Medical Investigation 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 Zoo Days 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Dancing At The Harvest Moon (2001) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.30 Pipeline Adventures 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm Big League Weekend 1.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 Big League Weekend 4.00 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Hyundai A League 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am Pipeline Adventures 12.30 Hyundai A League 1.00 LIVE International Cricket

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Billy fights to save his marriage while Phil comes under mounting pressure from Suzy. Women trouble, eh?

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Ric struggles with his feelings as he is offered the Director of Surgery job on the day of his son’s funeral. Such timing!

Who’d’a thought that could happen?

9.00 Mutual Friends Patrick tries to help Martin cope with his marital problems by subjecting him to an energetic reintroduction to the life of a single man, with vigorous mountain bike-riding, rounds of golf and marathon computer games sessions – fuelled by a diet of pizza and beer.

The life of a monied student, really.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 FILM: The Peacemaker (1997) Starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman. A pair of mismatched government operatives set out to recover stolen nuclear warheads.

12.30am Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: Jimmy Doherty’s Farming Heroes 1.35 Trawlermen 2.05 The Hairy Bakers 2.35 Chinese Food Made Easy 3.05 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 3.50 Joins BBC News

6.00 Eggheads What happens when chickens sit on people’s noggins. Or simply a quiz show.

6.30 MasterChef the Professionals Chef Michel Roux Jnr and vegetable expert Gregg Wallace are on the hunt for a young chef who wants to make it to the top of the culinary world.

7.00 Hadrian As the British Museum prepares to launch its spectacular exhibition on the emperor Hadrian, Dan Snow takes us on a journey around Hadrian’s vast empire.

8.00 Thames Shipwrecks: a Race Against Time Seven shipwrecks are being salvaged from the river Thames in one of the biggest marine archaeological operations in the country. Marine stories a-plenty.

9.00 Maestro Clive Anderson hosts Maestro’s next studio challenge as five famous amateurs with a passion for classical music do battle with their batons conducting the BBC Concert Orchestra. Smacking not allowed.

10.00 Room 101 Ian Hislop suggests The Beatles and Charlie Chaplin.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Passions of Vaughan Williams Musical and psychological portrait of classical composer Ralph Vaughan Williams.

12.50am Joins BBC News 4.00 Deutsch Plus 9 – 16

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Matthew is set upon by someone from his past brandishing a gun. Terry is furious that his vegetables are missing and blames Jamie. Problems, problems.

8.00 Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Armed Forces Special Facing Chris Tarrant in the hot seat tonight are members of the armed forces, including a Royal Marines Commando and a Royal Navy Petty Officer.

9.00 Superhuman: Super Strong See highlights.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.35 Kingdom Simon’s trial is dropped due to a lack of evidence – which puts paid to Lyle’s hopes of a partnership. A storm hits Market Shipborough and Simon disappears.

Puff! There he goes.

11.35 Shaun Williamson’s Tough Gig Shaun Williamson, best known as Barry in EastEnders, gets all dolled-up when he joins the fashionistas at Paris Fashion Week, aiming to discover what makes them laugh.

A proper stand-up challenge.

12.05am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Mystery 12.55 L.A Dragnet 1.45 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Kieron is angry when he sees John Paul hugging Craig.

Jealousy – deadly sin we think, padre.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Big Brother Eviction Show See highlights.

9.00 The Secret Millionaire Successful young businessman Daniel Smith sets about trying to help vulnerable homeless people living on the streets of London, including a 21-year-old alcoholic with depression.

As expected, both sides grow and learn in a photogenic type of way.

10.00 Big Brother Eviction Show See highlights.

11.05 The Incredible Will & Greg Rising comedy duo Will Andrews and Greg McHugh with a sketch show featuring a hypnotic dancing matador, and an unlucky lifeguard.

11.40 Reaper Comedy series following Sam, a lifelong slacker who discovers that his parents sold his soul to Satan before he was born.

12.40am British Triathlon Grand Prix 1.35 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 2.25 Big Brother Live 4.25 KOTV 4.50 The British Formula 3 International Series 5.15 FIVB Beach Volleyball

6.00 Home and Away Ric and Matilda break up. Again?

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Matt ventures into the wilds of Canada to meet a rare bear who is about to be freed from captivity. Hehe. Rare bear.

7.00 Five News 7.30 Highland Emergency 8.00 Secrets of the Jesus Tomb Religious doc which explores the discovery of a tomb in Jerusalem believed to be that of Jesus and his family. Which family would this be?

The one speculated on by Kevin Smith or the Bethlehem trekkers?

9.00 CSI: Miami When a football player is found stabbed to death, Alexx is unable to take the body because the victim wanted to be cryonically frozen. Time for Futurama?

10.00 CSI: NY Stella, Flack and Lindsay try to find out who killed an internet entrepreneur with an exploding cigar. The Roadrunner?

11.00 Law and Order: SVU A man accused of the murders of two Arabs claims that he was genetically and biologically predisposed to hatred and violence.

12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 NFL: Preview Show 1.50 USPGA Golf 2.40 Seniors Golf 3.30 IndyCar Series 4.20 Boxing USA 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home and Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Showjumping 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 World Motor Sport 12.00pm Speedway 2.00 World Motor Sport 4.30 NFL: Total Access 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker: European Ladies Championship 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 12.30am Rally Fever 1.30 European Seniors Tour Golf 2.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 3.30 World Motor Sport

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Carp Academy 2008 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Bowls 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Showjumping: Atco Structures Double Slalom 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Carp Academy 2008 2.30 Bowls 3.30 Bowls 4.30 WWE Smackdown 6.30 Motor Racing: Ginetta Championship 7.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 8.00 Bowls 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 12.00am Bowls 1.00 Bowls 2.00 Rally Fever 3.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 4.00 Revista De La Liga

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate SG-1 1.00 Stargate Atlantis 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 American Gladiators 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Atlantis 9.00 Prison Break 10.50 Inside...

11.50 Road Wars (x2) 1.50am Australia Uncovered 2.40 Weeds 3.15 Scare Tactics

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) See highlights. 8.00 Driving Mum and Dad Mad 9.00 Don’t Tell the Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 How Not to Live Your Life 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Don’t Tell the Bride 12.45am Driving Mum and Dad Mad 1.45 The Real Hustle (x2) 2.45 How Not to Live Your Life

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Wild China 9.00 Meetings with Remarkable Trees 9.10 Between the Lines 10.00 Call the Cops 10.30 The Quatermass Experiment 12.10am The Edwardians in Colour: the Wonderful World of Albert Kahn 1.10 Call the Cops

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy 6.35 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 9.00 CelebAir 10.00 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 10.35 FILM: Van Helsing (2004) 1.10am Celebrity Entourage: The Powder Room

5.00pm Goodnight Sweetheart 5.35 Revisiting Brideshead 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Revisiting Brideshead (x2) 6.55 The Wonder Years (x2) 7.55 Pie in the Sky 9.00 Kevin Whately: Morse and Me 9.05 Inspector Morse 11.10 There’s Something about... Morse 12.15am Maigret 1.15 Dempsey and Makepeace

4.25pm Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.05 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 10.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 11.00 Big Mouth with Davina 11.35 Big Brother: Live 12.00am Big Brother: Live

5.35pm Kirstie and Phil’s Property Guide 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Come Dine with Me 10.00 True Stories: Four Wives, One Man 11.40 Heather Mills: What Really Happened?

12.45am Come Dine with Me 1.50 True Stories: Four Wives, One Man

11.00am The Steve Wilkos Show 11.55 Maury (x2) 1.45pm The Fix 2.00 Criminal Minds 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Private Practice 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.40pm My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Porridge 10.20 The Good Life 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12.20am Shark 1.10 Shark 2.00 Robin Hood

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x4) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Two and a Half Men (x2) 12.50am Trailer Park Boys

3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How do They do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch (x2) 10.00 Deadliest Catch: on Shore 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA 1.00 Crime Scene Australia

12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Making Mr Right (1987) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Medium 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: The Haunting Within (2003) 12.00am FILM: Coneheads (1993) 1.40 The Flash Gordon Story

1.25pm Custer Of The West (1968) 3.50 The Far Country (1955) 5.35 Two Mules For Sister Sara (1970) 7.30 Modern Greats and Classics Close Up 8.00 Duel In The Sun (1946) 10.25 Once Upon A Time In The West (1968) 1.10am Cahill, United States Marshal (1973)

11.00am The Horseman On The Roof (1995) 1.20pm Seven Swords (2005) 3.45 Brotherhood (2004) 6.15 The Curse Of The Golden Flower (2006) 8.15 The Tango Lesson (1997) 10.00 I Want You (1998) 11.30 Hard Candy (2006) 1.20am The Road To Wellville (1994)

1.00pm Autumn Leaves (1956) 3.05 You Were Never Lovelier (1942) 5.05 The Malta Story (1953) 7.10 Carpool (1996) 9.00 Austin Powers In Goldmember (2001) 10.55 Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls (1970) 1.05am Quills (2000) Geoffrey Rush stars in this beautiful biopic of the Marquis De Sade.

9.05am Gigi (1958) 11.10 Take The High Ground (1953) 1.00pm Dodge City (1939) 3.00 Raintree County (1957) 5.50 Live A Little, Love A Little (1968) 7.30 Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 9.00 The Right Stuff (1983) 11.55 Blow-Up (1966) 1.55am Quo Vadis?

(1951) 5.00 Postman’s Knock (1962)

Classics

Indie

036_LS388_TV_Wed

8/27/08

11:43 AM

Page 1

wednesday 3 Lost in Austen ITV1, 9pm Taking the nation’s familiarity with Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, modern girl Amanda Price swaps her life for heroine Elizabeth Bennett’s. Trapped in the fiction, her mission – should she choose to accept it – is to stop the book derailing, which her pretense may have already started. A fresh new drama.

Rory & Paddy’s Great British Adventure Five, 9pm Comedians Rory McGrath and Paddy McGuiness (although when Rory last did stand-up it was written in the scriptures) travel the UK looking for traditional yet unusual sporting events. This week they encounter the Pedal Car Grand Prix and Cornish Wrestling.

The Most Annoying Couples We Love to Hate BBC3, 9pm This not brief clip show counts down the most irritating couples, from Amy Winehouse and her banged-up fella to Lembit Opik and his Cheeky Girl (does anyone care which one it is?). Makes you feel smug to be single, makes you feel smug to be sane. See who’s at the number one spot.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Lazytown 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 The Owl 4.05 Young Dracula 4.35 Serious Ocean 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Mister Maker 9.20 Something Special – Out and About 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.55 Pingu 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Station West (1948) 12.00pm What are You Like? 12.30 Open Gardens 1.00 See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Coast 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 2008 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 A Touch of Frost 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother Eviction Show (x2) 9.55 ER 10.55 Ugly Betty 11.55 Bright Young Wonders 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Property Ladder 1.30 FILM: A Matter Of Life And Death (1946) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine with Me

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.35 Medical Investigation 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 Zoo Days 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Tidal Wave: No Escape (1997) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am LIVE International Cricket 10.00 Hyundai A League 10.30 Football Asia 11.00 European Seniors Tour Golf: Woburn Seniors 12.00pm Hyundai A League 12.30 Pipeline Adventures 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 LIVE International Cricket 6.30 LIVE International Cricket 10.30 International Cricket 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 Pipeline Adventures 1.00 International Cricket (x2) 4.30 Sports Unlimited 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Frankie and Steph want to call an ambulance as Jack’s condition deteriorates, whereas Darren thinks Jack needs his spray and races to get it. To die once is unfortunate, to do twice...

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Embarrassing Illnesses Tonight’s patients include a woman who has been made a virtual recluse by her hairy face and a man whose unusually shaped penis has made his sex life a misery.

8.30 How Clean is Your House?

Kim and Aggie revisit Meryl Gaskin, a hoarder who was being pushed out of her home by her own clutter.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the house.

10.00 Desperate Housewives In the aftermath of the tornado, Lynette decides to go to church with Bree, but the awkward questions she asks the Reverend could harm Bree’s political ambitions at the church.

11.00 The Perfect Vagina Lisa Rogers investigates an increasing number of women in the UK considering vaginal cosmetic surgery.

12.05am The Shooting Party 12.35 Ibiza Rocks With Sony Ericsson 1.10 Big Brother Live 4.25 Countdown 5.10 British Triathlon Grand Prix

6.00 Home and Away Matilda has a change of heart. She’s back on with Ric? Had they even changed their Facebook statuses?

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Jason the vet operates on a Weimaraner with a twisted gut. Hands up who knows was a Weimaraner is.

7.00 Five News 7.30 Daring Raids of World War II Telling the story of a late-night raid of a hydro-electrics factory in Norway 1943. The mission – to foil Hitler’s plans to build an atomic bomb.

8.00 Britain’s Strongest Man Coverage from Minehead of the Britain’s Strongest Man contest.

Gurning ahoy! Plus loads of events to try and copy with your mates and end up in casualty with.

9.00 Rory & Paddy’s Great British Adventure See highlights.

10.00 Banged Up Abroad Drama-documentary series telling the gripping real-life stories of travellers who find themselves incarcerated overseas.

11.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. Wide boys versus the coppers.

12.00am Cricket on Five 1.00 PartyPoker.com World Open IV 2.30 Major League Baseball 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home and Away

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 My Family There are problems in the bedroom which threaten to drive Ben and Susan apart. Jolly good thing too. Mediocre sitcom.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Sky Cops Series that follows the work of Britain’s helicopter police.

8.30 Trawlermen 23-year-old Chaz Bruce and his crew on the New Dawn find a rope wrapped around the boat’s propeller, but skipper Chaz is relentless to put into port – even with a storm brewing.

9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Esther Rantzen believes her family history is exclusively genteel middleclass respectability, but there is one story of a ‘black sheep’ that has always intrigued her. Time to blow away that ‘genteel only’ myth away.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 Medium Drama series about a suburban housewife who can see the dead and read the minds of others.

11.25 The Tudors 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool 1.25 DIY SOS 1.55 Rogue Restaurants 2.25 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 3.10 Joins BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Eggy-head for tea time? Quiz show.

6.30 MasterChef the Professionals The chefs face two challenges: first they must make two dishes in 50 minutes from the central ingredient of pork, then recreate two classic dishes lobster bisque and coffee dacquoise. Slobber.

7.00 Grow Your Own Veg! Carol celebrates the delicious pumpkin and squash family.

7.30 Nigella Express Nigella Lawson prepares good food fast.

8.00 Natural World Paddington Bear celebrates his 50th birthday this year, but behind the children’s story is a very real creature that still lives in Deepest Darkest Peru – the spectacled bear. Does he like marmalade?

8.50 On Wild Golden Pond Nature documentary.

9.00 God on Trial Drama. In a block house in Auschwitz, a group of prisoners demand to know the nature of a god who can allow so much suffering. They attempt to settle their dispute by putting god on trial.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Supersizers go...

Regency Giles Coren and Sue Perkins spend a week on a diet from the Regency Years of 1789-1821.

12.20am Joins BBC News 4.00 Deutsch Plus 17-20 5.00 Deutsch Plus II

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl is torn when Jimmy urges him to return to the Kings. It’s all about faa-amily.

7.30 Coronation Street Mel’s actions lead to tragedy. Stupid Mel. 8.00 The Bill Eddie examines Jay Newman’s body and explains that he could have been pushed – or he could have jumped. (Insert dramatic chords here). As the investigation continues, the officers discover that Jay had a huge stash of heroin and that Marcus Kendall was after him. (Insert suspenseful twiddly bits here).

9.00 Lost in Austen See highlights.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.35 Numb3rs Charlie is called in to help the FBI to determine if there is a pattern to a series of arson attacks.

A burnt mosaic?

11.35 Katy Brand’s Best Bits Compilation show packed with hilarious highlights from hit ITV2 comedy Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show.

‘Hilarious’ may be over-egging. There should extreme hilarity resulting in sectioning your family. Just fun.

12.05am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 12.55 L.A Dragnet 1.40 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Revista De La Liga 7.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 8.00 Football Asia 8.30 LIVE International Rugby Union 10.30 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Poker: European Ladies Championship 12.00pm PGA Euro Pro Tour Golf 2.00 International Rugby Union 4.00 Poker: European Ladies Championship 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.00 International Rugby Union 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 International Rugby Union 2.30 Max Power 3.30 Rally Fever

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Hyundai A League 2.30 Motor Racing: Ginetta Championship 3.00 Rally Fever 4.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 7.30 Total Rugby 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 PGA Euro Pro Tour Golf 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 Poker: European Ladies Championship 2.00 European Tour Weekly 2.30 PGA Euro Pro Tour Golf 4.30 Everyday is Raceday: Touring Car Diaries

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 9.00 Bones 10.00 FILM: Depth Charge (2008) 11.45 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.45am Road Wars (x2) 2.35 Australia Uncovered

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 The Most Annoying Couples we Love to Hate. See highlights.

11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Spooks: Code 9 1.05 Make My Body Younger 2.05 How Not to Live Your Life 2.35 The Real Hustle (x2) 3.35 Spooks: Code 9

7.00pm News 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Life in Cold Blood 9.00 Blood and Guts: A History Of Surgery 10.00 FILM: The Consequences Of Love (2004) 11.40 Coal House 12.10am Blood and Guts: A History of Surgery 1.10 Medical Mavericks 2.10 Doctors to Be: 20 Years On (x2)

1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA (x2) 9.00 FILM: Van Helsing (2004) 11.35 Coronation Street 12.05am CelebAir 1.05 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show

5.40pm Heartbeat 6.45 Film File 6.55 Revisiting Brideshead 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Drama Trails: The Fixer to Trail and Retribution 10.00 Kevin Whately: Morse and Me 10.05 Inspector Morse 12.10am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.15 Maigret

12.25pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother (x2) 3.25 Big Brother: Live 3.55 Hollyoaks 4.25 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer (x2) 11.00 Big Mouth with Davina 11.30 Big Brother: Live 12.00am Big Brother: Live

5.35pm Kirstie and Phil’s Property Guide 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 Father Ted (x2) 10.05 The IT Crowd (x2) 11.10 Dispatches: Undercover Mosque 12.15am Father Ted (x2) 1.20 The IT Crowd (x2)

12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Criminal Minds 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace 7.30 Will and Grace 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.40pm My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Porridge 10.20 The Good Life 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 The Worst Week of My Life 12.20am Shark 1.15 Shark 2.05 Casualty 3.00 Baywatch

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Scrubs 12.20am Stacked

3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How do They do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Elite Forces 10.00 Days that Shook the World 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA

12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Landslide (2004) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 FILM: Thrill Seekers (1999) 9.50 FILM: Escape From LA (1996) 11.50 Medium 12.50am FILM: Death Row (2006) 3.00 The Stand

12.55pm Shenandoah (1965) 2.45 Hondo (1953) 4.10 Modern Greats and Classics Close-Up 4.40 Jesse James (1939) 6.30 Rawhide (1951) 8.00 Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 10.05 Bandolero!

(1968) 11.55 Shenandoah (1965) 1.45am Jesse James (1939)

1.15pm Isolation (2005) 3.05 Days Of Glory (2005) 5.15 35mm 5.45 The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 7.30 Babel (2006) 10.00 Ong-Bak (2004) 11.50 Warrior King (2005) 1.40am Isolation (2005) 3.20 The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005)

1.00pm Harriet Craig (1950) 2.55 Conspiracy Of Hearts (1960) 5.10 The Man From Colorado (1948) 7.10 Carry On Behind (1975) 9.00 Blade: Trinity (2004) Wesley Snipes gets mean and moody as the vamp killing other vamps.

Grr. 11.10 Trainspotting (1996) 1.00am Ride With The Devil (1999)

8.15am Raintree County (1957) 11.15 The Little Hut (1957) 1.00pm The Password Is Courage (1962) 3.00 Blossoms In The Dust (1941) 4.45 The Secret Of My Success (1965) 6.40 The Power (1968) 9.00 Westworld (1973) 10.35 The Subterraneans (1960) 12.35am The Outrage (1964)

Classics

Indie

037_LS388_TV_Thurs

8/28/08

3:58 PM

Page 1

thursday 4 Would Like to Meet Again BBC2, 8pm It’s not all major success stories – yay, s’not a fix! Unfortunately, this very proof has left Greek mummy’s boy George still alone seven years later. Still shy, still single, still living with mum, he’s not even off the starting block. So the gang give him some more tips. Which seemed to have worked for engaged Annette.

When Women Ruled the World Channel 4, 10.35pm Women may rule the world in this brand new reality series, but the universe is hosted by a man – in the form of T4 regular Steve Jones. With eight feisty females in charge of ten macho males and challenged to create their own Utopia, will they create the peace feminists have promised?

Money for Nothing BBC3, 9pm Want to save money? Is your cash making a bid to be a runner in the London Olympics, the speed at which it runs through your fingers? Then this just might help. Spendthrift presenter Rebecca Wilcox presents advice to help curb the climate that has 75 per cent of young people in the red. Boot sale time perhaps.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Lazytown 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 The Owl 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Hider in the House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Mister Maker 9.20 Something Special: Out and About 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.55 Pingu 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 What the Victorians Did for Us 10.35 FILM: The Lost Moment (1947) 12.00pm What Are You Like? 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 2008 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 A Touch of Frost 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.25 Big Brother 9.25 Frasier 9.55 ER 10.55 Ugly Betty 11.55 Bright Young Wonders 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Property Ladder 1.30 FILM: Black Narcissus (1946) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine with Me

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.35 Medical Investigation 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 Zoo Days 3.05 Five News Update 3.15 FILM: Mystery Woman: Sing Me A Murder (2005) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Bianca seeks counsel from Christian when she questions Whitney’s sexuality. Has Christian suddenly become a gay sage? It would seem so.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Rogue Restaurants Consumer series looking at the state of Britain’s restaurants and pubs.

8.30 Accidental Heroes 9.00 SuperDoctors The programme follows the work of orthopaedic surgeon Steve Mannion and his groundbreaking technique for treating club feet – both in Africa and Britain.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Comedy Connections Series charting the history of the best of British comedy looks at Little Britain.

11.15 FILM: All Of Me (1984) Starring Steve Martin, Lily Tomlin, Victoria Tennant. Fantasy-comedy about a music-loving attorney who suddenly finds that half of his body has been taken over by the soul of a fractious millionairess.

12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.20 Would Like to Meet Again 1.50 Countryfile 2.45 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 3.30 Joins BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Is it truly clever to name your brain-holder after a fragile easily shattered food? While you consider, here’s a quiz show.

6.30 MasterChef the Professionals The chefs face two challenges: first they must make two dishes in 50 minutes from the central ingredient of squid, then they must recreate two classic dishes; ballotine of guinea fowl and millefeuille.

7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Series in which celebrities trace their ancestry. Esther Rantzen.

8.00 Would Like to Meet Again See highlights.

8.30 Dr Alice Roberts: Don’t Die Young Dr Alice Roberts explores the benefits of exercise on the human body, updating the progress of some of the contributors from the first series to see if they have stuck to their new healthy lifestyles.

9.00 Mock the Week A satirical swipe at the news and world events.

9.30 The Cup Comedy series. Doom and gloom for Terry McConnell as dishy Frenchman Raymond Mercier is installed as coach.

10.00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks Comedy pop quiz.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Supersizers go...

Restoration 12.20am How I Met Your Mother 1.05 Joins BBC News 4.00 Germany Inside Out (x3)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Doug’s scratching lands him in trouble with the police.

Illegal chicken pox perhaps?

7.30 Coastal Ways A portrait of the traditionally charming Suffolk seaside town of Aldeburgh.

8.00 The Bill Millie and Arun are called to a mugging and are shocked to discover the victim is Naomi Woods – the wife of DC Jacob Banks.

It soon becomes clear that it was no random attack but a personal grudge.

9.00 Fiddles, Cheats & Scams Morland Sanders reports on some of the benefits cheats who got away with their scams for huge lengths of time before they were found out, including a boxer who fought one hundred fights while claiming for incapacity. Could’ve been a contender? Probably not.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Customs UK Today, an anonymous tip-off leads to Bristol officers paying a visit to suspected cigarette smugglers.

11.10 Focus 11.40 Love and War 12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Motorsport UK 1.40 Nightwatch with Steve Scott 2.35 Loose Women 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Michaela is jealous when Mike tells her he’s going for a romantic break with Zoe. It’s her mate’s dad! Yes, that’s how he got together with Zoe but she wasn’t still at school then. Get a grip, Mich.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Chateau Monty Documentary series following Monty Waldin’s attempts to run a small vineyard in the south-west of France, to produce his own red wine.

8.30 The Great Italian Escape Richard and Sarah reveal the harsh truth of running their own holiday lets business in Tuscany while helping another family prepare to open the doors of their lovingly-restored farmhouse.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house.

10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the comedy panel show.

10.35 When Women Rule the World See highlights.

11.40 Kaiser Chiefs: Video Exclusive 11.50 The Kevin Bishop Show 12.20am Rocknrolla: Movie Special 12.55 4 Music: The Shockwaves Album Chart Show: The Zutons 1.20 Big Brother Live 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.20 Countdown

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 European Tour Weekly 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega European Masters 1.00pm NFL: Total Access 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 Total Rugby 3.30 Live European Tour Golf: Omega European Masters 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 The Rugby Club 7.00 Pipeline Adventures 7.30 LIVE International Football 10.00 Total Rugby 10.30 Barclays Premier League World 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am LIVE NFL 3.30 Barclays Premier League World 4.00 International Football 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

6.00 Home and Away Nicole makes some more enemies. They’re behind you! Well, Aussie soap stars, almost Christmas – baddies have got to mean panto.

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad It’s the Swan Sanctuary to the rescue when a diesel spill adversely affects a flock of swans on the Thames.

7.00 Five News 7.30 How do They do It? Robert Llewellyn presents a series examining the feats of science and engineering behind everyday life.

8.00 I Own Britain’s Best Home and Garden This instalment profiles an easy-care cottage plot in Hertfordshire and an exotic jungle in a Norfolk yard. Exploring time.

9.00 FILM: Out Of Reach (2004) Starring Steven Seagal, Matt Schulze, Ida Nowakowska, Krzysztof Pieczynski and Agnieszka Wagner.

Action thriller. A prize for whoever can pronounce all of the supporting actors’ names correctly.

10.45 Lockdown Gritty documentary series plunging head-first into the world of America’s most dangerous prisons. ‘Head first’ does not recommend ramming crims in the tum 11.50 Crime Scene Academy 12.20am Quiz Call 4.00 Major League Soccer 4.45 Nick’s Quest 5.10 Neighbours

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Boots ‘n’ All 10.30 LIVE Women’s Cricket 3.00pm LIVE Women’s Cricket 6.00 Everyday is Raceday: Touring Car Diaries 6.30 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 Suzuki Swift Cup 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five O 12.00am Race World 12.30 International Football 2.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 3.00 Poker 5.00 The Rugby Club

Sky Sports 3 7.30am Irish Greyhound Racing 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Euro Tour Golf 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 NFL: Total Access 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Race World 7.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Golf Night 2.30 Rugby League 4.30 Race World 5.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 FILM: Rocky (1976) 12.20am Road Wars (x3) 2.40 Australia Uncovered

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Don’t Tell the Bride 9.00 Money for Nothing. See highlights.

10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Wrong Door 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Money for Nothing 12.45am Don’t Tell the Bride 1.45 The Wrong Door 2.15 The Real Hustle (x2) 3.15 Driving Mum and Dad Mad

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Fossil Detectives 8.00 Lost Horizons: The Big Bang 9.00 The Big Bang Machine 10.00 Blood and Guts: A History of Surgery 11.00 Maestro 12.00am BBC Four Sessions: Antony and the Johnsons 1.00 Fossil Detectives 1.30 Journeys from the Centre of the Earth

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Trinny & Susannah Undress the Nation 8.00 CelebAir 9.00 Ghosthunting with... Paul O’Grady and Friends 11.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 1.10am Teleshopping

5.40pm Heartbeat 6.45 Revisiting Brideshead (x2) 6.55 The Wonder Years (x2) 7.55 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Kevin Whately: Morse and Me 9.05 Inspector Morse (x2) 1.10am Maigret 2.10 Dempsey and Makepeace 2.55 Cagney and Lacey 3.50 Film File 4.00 Teleshopping

12.25pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 My Name is Earl (x2) 10.00 Big Mouth with Davina 10.35 Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong 11.25 Big Brother: Live (x2)

5.35pm Kirstie and Phil’s Property Guide 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.00 Without a Trace (x2) 12.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.00 Without a Trace (x2) 2.40 Countdown 3.30 Close

1.45pm The Fix 2.00 Criminal Minds 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Ibiza 2008 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Will and Grace (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm One Foot in the Grave 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Porridge 10.20 The Good Life 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 The Worst Week of My Life 12.20am Shark (x2)

6.00pm Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Everybody Hates Chris 12.20am Everybody Hates Chris 12.50 Trailer Park Boys (x2) 1.50 Angelo’s 2.20 Linc’s 2.50 Sexy Cam (x2)

3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How do They do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 My Shocking Story 9.00 Real ER: The Bronx 10.00 Deranged Killers 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA

12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Earthquake (2004) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Medium 9.00 Tin Man 10.50 FILM: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 12.50am FILM: Electric Dreams (1984)

12.50pm California (1946) 2.35 Forty Guns (1957) 4.00 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 5.50 Modern Greats and Classics Close-Up 6.20 Broken Lance (1954) 8.00 Johnny Guitar (1954) 9.50 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 11.40 Soldier Blue (1970) 1.40am 3.10 To Yuma (2007)

10.40am The Proposition (1998) 12.40pm The Escapist (2001) 2.20 Lemming (2005) 4.30 35mm 5.00 The Ground Truth (2006) 6.30 Shooting Fish (1997) 8.25 The Escapist (2001) 10.00 Tsotsi (2005) 11.40 London To Brighton (2006) 1.10am Shooting Fish (1997) 3.05 35mm

1.00pm The Silver Fleet (1943) 2.45 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 4.50 This Happy Breed (1944) 7.00 Blast From The Past (1999) 9.00 Good Will Hunting (1997) 11.25 Running Scared (2005) 1.50am The Accused (1988) Controversial legal drama that won Jodie Foster an Oscar as a rape victim.

9.30am Blossoms In The Dust (1941) 11.15 Ride The High Country (1962) 1.00pm Old Acquaintance (1943) 3.00 The Sunshine Boys (1975) 5.00 Ten Thousand Bedrooms (1957) 7.05 Travels With My Aunt (1972) 9.00 Plenty (1985) 11.15 The Split (1968) 12.55am Dark Of The Sun (1968)

Classics

Indie

038_LS388_TV_Fri

8/28/08

3:50 PM

Page 1

friday 5 Big Brother Channel 4, 8pm and 10pm It’s the final! Whether you’ve followed the housemates right through from the beginning, if you’ve dipped in from halfway or if you’ve been diligently ignoring them all summer, this is a date for the diary. Someone’s going to walk away with a huge cash prize and more than a few lucrative magazine deals. Who?

Friday Night with Jonathan Ross BBC1, 10.35pm He’s back! Oh, how we’ve missed Wossy on a Friday night. His gaggle of glamour this week includes actress, presenter and ex-Billy Zane girlfriend Kelly Brook, as well as The Mighty Boosh duo – who will perform an exclusive number – and The Streets playing live. Ahhh.

The Sarah Silverman Programme Paramount, 9.30pm Currently tipped for the top in the US comedy scene, Sarah Silverman’s caustic wit and razor sharp tongue is making a splash over here too. Worth checking out, in this episode Sarah decides to prove that she cares about others by inviting a homeless person to stay with her.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Lazytown 3.30 What’s New ScoobyDoo? 3.50 Uncle Max 4.00 The Owl 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Sorry, I’ve Got no Head 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Mister Maker 9.20 Something Special – Out and About 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.55 Pingu 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 What the Victorians Did for Us 10.35 FILM: The Locket (1946) 12.00pm What Are You Like? 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 2008 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 A Touch of Frost 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 9.55 ER 10.55 Ugly Betty 11.55 Bright Young Wonders 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 Will and Grace 1.15 FILM: Battle Of The River Plate (1957) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine with Me

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.35 Medical Investigation 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 Zoo Days 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Love Is Strange (1999) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question of Sport Sue Barker returns with a new series of the light-hearted sports quiz.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Stacey is confused following her encounter with Callum, First Max, now Callum – she’ll soon be as confused as her dear old ma.

8.30 DIY SOS Home renovations with Nick Knowles and the DIY SOS team, in Wigan to ease Caroline Davies’s worries.

9.00 Harry and Paul Harry Enfield are Paul Whitehouse back with a whole new range of characters in a new series of their sketch show.

9.30 The Armstrong and Miller Show Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller star in a new sketch show.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Friday Night with Jonathan Ross See highlights.

11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: Just Friends (2005) Starring Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart, Anna Faris. Romantic comedy about being stuck in the friend-zone.

1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: SuperDoctors 2.15 Street Doctor 2.45 Joins BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz-thingy.

6.30 MasterChef the Professionals It’s the quarter finals, and the four winning chefs from the week’s heats have to cook two courses of their own design for restaurant critics Charles Campion, Jeremy Wayne and Nicholas Lander.

7.00 The Real Monarch of the Glen It’s late spring and Chris Sandom is trying to find the new arrivals – pigs.

7.30 Wainwright’s Walks 8.00 Mastermind Topics are: The writer Simon Raven; Newcastle United FC; Edward IV and Laurence Olivier.

8.30 Gardeners’ World Making a border from scratch is one of the most exciting aspects of garden making. Rachel looks at the fruits of her labours from last summer.

9.00 The Tudors Propaganda and paranoia are exploited as Henry’s ‘Reformation’ hits home while Anne fears for her future.

9.50 Coast 10.00 QI Stephen Fry chairs the almost impossible quiz.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 Jackie Magazine: a Girl’s Best Friend Documentary.

12.35am Star Trek: the Next Generation (x2) 2.05 FILM: The Ghost (2000) 3.25 How I Met Your Mother (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Tension grows between Zak and Debbie. The two proper scheme-makers of The Shire.

7.30 Coronation Street Roy’s attempts at do-gooding land him and Ken in hot water. Tom and Liam dream of making the big time.

8.00 Tiger Island Series following the day to day lives of the big cats, and their keepers, at the Isle of Wight Zoo – one of the largest tiger sanctuaries in Europe.

8.30 Coronation Street Jerry arrives home to find Teresa’s been back playing mum. Furious, he tells Mel and Darryl that he doesn’t want her anywhere near them. Well, she is a scheming good for nothing. Fair cop.

9.00 Midsomer Murders Controversial plans to build a supermarket in Elverton-cum-Latterly lead to murder when a man is stabbed to death and the pollution advisor for the site seems to be spending more time with the women of the village than at work.

11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.45 Bingo Night Live 12.50am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 1.45 FILM: Finding Forrester (2000) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Craig and John Paul are blissfully happy to be back in each others’ arms but John Paul is brought back to reality when he has to go and see Kieron, unaware of the horror about to unfold.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Marriage Technique for Beginners Doc exploring the ingredients for a successful marriage.

As his own big day approaches, Piers Sanderson, talks to couples of all ages to see if he can discover the secret of a happy married life.

8.00 Big Brother See highlights.

9.00 Ugly Betty Betty encourages Daniel to use ordinary women as models during fashion week. Amanda consults a psychic.

10.00 Big Brother See highlights.

11.05 8 Out of 10 Cats: Big Brother Special Jimmy Carr hosts a special edition of the comedy quiz show featuring a gang of Big Brother names past and present.

11.50 T-Mobile Transmission 12.55am 4 Music: Beat Stevie 1.10 4 Music: The JD Set Presents Lightspeed Champion 1.25 Coming Up: Spastic King 1.50 Dangerous Jobs for Girls 2.50 Goalissimo!

3.45 FIA GT Championship 4.10 Trans World Sport 5.05 Grudge Match 5.15 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away Nicole gets caught in flagrante. Uh oh.

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Michaela gets to grips with the gorgeous but at-risk southern sea otters. So pretty.

7.00 Five News 7.30 The What in the World Quiz Two teams go head to head over four rounds of scientific questions and challenges, covering such diverse topics as poisonous plants, sailing stones and light refraction.

8.00 Jesse James: The True Story Documentary exploring the fascinating story of Jesse James, the 19th-century American outlaw who was commonly thought of as the USA’s Robin Hood.

9.00 NCIS A barman wakes up to find the girl he went home with lying dead beside him. To confuse matters further, he claims that the girl lying next to him was not the girl he originally took home. Eh?!

10.00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit Detectives probe the alleged rape of a teenage girl by a group of army cadets.

11.00 Law and Order The team experience mixed feelings when they find themselves prosecuting a priest for the murder of an evil drug dealer.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.30 Game Ranger Diaries 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home and Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 The Rugby Club 10.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega European Masters 12.30pm Total Rugby 1.00 International Football 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega European Masters 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Pipeline Adventures 12.30 Super League 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 Big League Weekend 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 10.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 10.30 Race World 11.30 ATP Tennis Magazine 12.00pm NFL 2.00 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 2.30 LIVE Women’s International Twenty20 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.00 LIVE Rugby Union: Currie Cup 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 Golf Night 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Big League Weekend 1.30 Golf Night 4.00 Sailing 4.30 NFL: Total Access 5.30 Sailing

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Suzuki Swift Cup 6.30 The Rugby Club 7.30 International Football 9.00 Rugby League 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm The Rugby Club 1.00 Euro Tour Golf 3.00 The Rugby Club 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 Pipeline Adventures 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 NFL: Total Access 8.00 NFL 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 LIVE International Cricket

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

6.00pm Hairspray: The School Musical 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 Ross Kemp on Gangs 10.00 FILM: Vipers (2008) 11.35 Toughest Pubs in Britain 3 12.35am Road Wars (x2) 2.25 Australia Uncovered 3.20 Futurama: Welcome to the World of Tomorrow 3.30 Scare Tactics

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Spendaholics 9.00 Dawn Goes Lesbian 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Family Guy 11.55 Family Guy 12.15am The Wrong Door 12.45 How Not to Live Your Life 1.15 Dawn Goes Lesbian 2.15 Two Pints of Lager

7.30pm A Seaside Parish 8.00 Castrato 9.00 They Came from Manchester: The Story of Mancunian Pop 10.00 Rock Family Trees 10.50 Factory: Manchester from Joy Division to Happy Mondays 12.20am The Avengers 1.10 Call The Cops 1.40 They Came from Manchester: The Story of Mancunian Pop

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 The X Factor 8.00 Xtra Factor 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 11.10 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 11.40 Coronation Street (x2) 12.40 Jack Osbourne: Adrenaline Junkie III

5.00pm Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Revisiting Brideshead 6.50 Film File 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Kevin Whately: Morse and Me 10.05 Inspector Morse 12.10am Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford: No Crying He Makes

2.15pm Big Brother: Live 3.55 Hollyoaks 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Ghosts Of Mars (2001) 11.00 Big Mouth with Davina 11.50 FILM: Big Trouble In Little China (1986) 1.50am FILM: Ghosts Of Mars (2001) 3.30 Switched (x2)

5.35pm Kirstie and Phil’s Property Guide 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Flight 93 (2006) 10.50 9/11: Ground Zero Underworld 11.50 Sex in the Noughties: Nuts Vs Zoo 12.55am Live from Abbey Road

12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Criminal Minds 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Criminal Minds (x2) 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm One Foot in the Grave 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Porridge 10.20 The Good Life 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 The Worst Week of My Life 12.20am Shark (x2)

6.00pm Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 The Sarah Silverman Programme. See highlights.

10.00 Sex and the City 10.35 Sex and the City 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Stacked (x2) 12.50am Trailer Park Boys 1.20 Linc’s 1.50 Stacked (x2)

2.30pm Crime Scene USA: Body of Evidence 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How do They do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Crime Scene Australia 9.00 Deranged Killers 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Unsolved Murders

11.00am Thunderbirds 12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Firefly (x2) 3.00 FILM: Deadly Visions (2004) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Firefly 7.00 Firefly 8.00 Medium 9.00 Heroes 10.00 Heroes 11.00 FILM: Village Of The Damned (1995) 1.00am FILM: Slayer (2006) 3.00 Tin Man 4.00 Firefly (x2)

9.30am Once Upon A Time In The West (1968) 12.15pm Cahill, United States Marshal (1973) 2.00 Shane (1953) 4.00 Custer Of The West (1968) 6.25 Flaming Star (1960) 8.00 Once Upon A Time In The West (1968) 10.45 Heaven’s Gate (1980) 2.20am Cahill, United States Marshal (1973)

9.00am Offside (2006) 10.40 Fire (1996) 12.40pm Earth (1998) 2.30 Water (2005) 4.25 Offside (2006) 6.05 Best (1999) 7.55 New Police Story (2004) 10.00 Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead (1995) 12.00am A Time To Leave (2005) 1.30 Body Count (1997)

1.00pm The Malta Story (1953) 3.05 Blast From The Past (1999) 5.05 Blithe Spirit (1945) 7.00 The Return Of The Musketeers (1989) 9.00 Sahara (2005) 11.25 Another 48 Hrs (1990) Odd couple sequel starring Eddie Murphy nad Nick Nolte. 1.20am In The Cut (2003)

9.20am The Sunshine Boys (1975) 11.20 Murder Ahoy (1964) 1.00pm A Day At The Races (1937) 3.00 Casablanca (1942) 4.55 Where The Spies Are (1965) 6.55 The Tender Trap (1955) 9.00 Ordinary People (1980) 11.20 Our Mother’s House (1967) 1.15am The Man Who Laughs (1966)

Classics

Indie

039_LS388_TV_Sat

8/29/08

9:45 AM

Page 1

saturday 6 9/11: Ground Zero Underworld Channel 4, 7pm Lest we ever forget, new deeply personal stories from the rescuers and those simply searching through the rubble for survivors at Ground Zero. With previously unseen footage, these are emotional testimonials documenting one of the largest search operations in history.

Mock the Week BBC2, 10pm Been too busy to catch the news this week? Sit back and let the comedians scan the papers for you. Regular host Dara O’Briain and team players Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons are joined by Edinburgh Festival darlings Lauren Laverne and Michael McIntyre. Better than the dongs.

Ghosthunting with...

Paul O’Grady and Friends ITV2, 9pm Never one to do something if it ain’t a social adventure, Paul O’Grady is joined by former Brookie stars Jennifer Ellison and Philip Olivier and Atomic Kitten Natasha Hamilton in this spooky hunt in the Italian city of Palermo.

Watch as they scare themselves silly with a two-year-old’s ghost.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 MasterChef The Professionals 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 12.50 Paralympics 2008: Opening Ceremony 4.30 The Green Green Grass 5.00 BBC News 5.25 FILM: Shrek (2001)

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Roar 8.00 Only in America 8.30 Secret Show 8.45 Secret Show 8.55 Bernard 9.00 Hider in the House 10.00 Hot Rods 10.25 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 10.30 The Slammer 10.58 The Owl 11.00 The Story of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Eliot Kid 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm Sound 12.30 Scene Stealers 1.00 Greek 1.50 Revealed 2.05 Coast 2.10 FILM: Madeline (1998) 3.35 FILM: One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing (1976) 5.05 The Hairy Bakers 5.35 Flog It! 6.20 BBC Proms 2008: Beethoven Night Charles Hazlewood and Suzy Klein bring back an old Proms tradition of a Beethoven Night with Beethoven’s Violin Concerto in D played by virtuoso violinist Nikolaj Znaider with the talented youngsters of the Gustav Mahler Jugendorchester under conductor Sir Colin Davis, and Beethoven’s mighty 5th Symphony played by the BBC Symphony Orchestra conducted by David Robertson.

8.00 Dad’s Army Mainwaring plots to get Frazer’s hoard of gold sovereigns into his bank. Sounds more National Treasure than 60s sitcom.

8.30 Coast The Coast team take a journey from the most northerly tip of the British Isles.

9.30 Have I Got News for You Comedy quiz show that grills celebrity contestants on the week’s news.

10.00 Mock the Week See highlights.

10.30 Kings of Rock and Roll A look back at the 1950s, a decade often seen as having the wildest pop music of all time. Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard – that hair!

11.30 Comedy Connections Series charting the history of some of our best comedy shows.

12.10am FILM: My Name Is Modesty (2002) 1.25 FILM: Tommy (1975)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.05pm ITV News and Weather 12.10 Meridian News and Weather 12.15 F1: Belgian Grand Prix Qualifying 2.35 Inspector Morse 4.35 The Unforgettable... Benny Hill 5.20 Meridian News and Weather 5.35 ITV News and Weather 5.50 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed!

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 T-Mobile Transmission 9.25 Big Brother Finale 10.25 Big Brother Finale 11.25 Sugababes Video Exclusive 11.30 Friends 12.00pm Reaper 1.00 Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 The TV Show 4.35 Supernanny 5.25 Chateau Monty

6.00 – 8.55am Children’s television 8.55 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Rupert Bear 9.20 Animal Families 9.30 The Secret of Eel Island 9.50 Funky Valley 10.00 Britain’s Strongest Man 11.05 FILM: Heck’s Way Home (1995) 12.55pm FILM: Surviving Love (2003) 2.45 FILM: The Thirteenth Floor (1999) 4.35 Five News 4.45 Football on Five

6.50 The X Factor The X Factor convoy heads north of the border into Scotland. Will the judges Simon Cowell, Dannii Minogue, Cheryl Cole and Louis Walsh find a winner from here, as they did last year with Leon Jackson? Dermot O’Leary presents.

You hide behind a cushion as a stroppy Redcoat talks of their future world domination. Perhaps.

7.50 FILM: King Kong (2005) Starring Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody, Jack Black, Colin Hanks, Thomas Kretschmann and Jamie Bell. Big budget remake of the classic monster movie. While filming on the mysterious Skull Island, an actress is staked out as a sacrifice to a giant ape, but the simian is smitten by the starlet and the film’s director sees a chance to capture it and make his fortune. New York’s architecture is the real victim here. Why, Empire State Building?!

11.15 ITV News and Weather 11.30 That’s What I Call Television In tonight’s episode, Fern Britton is joined by guest co-host Bradley Walsh, who picks his favourite programmes, theme tunes and ads from TV’s golden decade of 1979-1989. Some classic TV moments are recreated.

12.30am Bingo Night Live 2.35 FILM: Sweet November (2001) 4.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Great Italian Escape Richard and Sarah reveal the harsh truth of running their own holiday lets business while helping another family prepare to open the doors of their lovingly-restored farmhouse.

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 9/11: Ground Zero Underworld See highlights.

8.00 FILM: Volcano (1997) Starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Don Cheadle and Keith David. Disaster tale in which the citizens of Los Angeles are thrown into blind panic when an erupting volcano is discovered beneath the city, initially disbelieved by all. Jaws but with hot liquid magma instead of the shark.

9.55 FILM: The Abyss (1989) Starring Ed Harris, Mary Mastrantonio, Michael Biehn.

Oscar-winning sci-fi adventure.

When a nuclear submarine crashes on the edge of a deep ocean trench following contact with an unidentified object, a team of oil riggers are seconded to aid a group of Navy SEALs on a rescue mission.

But there is something else there.

12.35am 4 Music: Live From Abbey Road 1.35 4 Music: 4Play: Sigur Ros 1.50 FILM: Ask The Dust (2006) 3.45 Honeymoon 4.20 St Elsewhere 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Inuk

7.05 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green Documentary profiling the hottest fishing destinations around the globe. His first port of call is Costa Rica, where he will try to realise a lifelong dream of catching the fastest fish in the water. Run! 8.00 NCIS The team struggles to identify a mummified corpse found lodged in a chimney on a naval base.

The case takes a sinister turn when a pair of FBI agents arrive and inform Gibbs that the dead man was wanted for the deaths of 14 women over a 12-year period.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The CSIs work with the FBI to investigate the murders of a young boy and a woman, and try to find out if these homicides are linked to a serial killer.

10.00 Law and Order: Criminal Intent When the association president of a Manhattan condominium tower is murdered with an electrical saw, Detectives Goren and Eames find themselves at the centre of a beehive of secrets among its residents. Could almost be a film with Sharon Stone. Wait...

11.00 The FBI Files Documentary series charting the work of the FBI’s crime laboratory.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.30 Game Ranger Diaries 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris (x2)

6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.00 Big League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Big Fight Countdown 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Football League: League One 2.15 Big Fight Countdown 2.45 LIVE International Football 5.00 LIVE Tennis: US Open 2008 7.00 LIVE Tennis: US Open 2008 10.30 International Football 12.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 LIVE Women’s US Open Tennis 3.00 International Football 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.50 The Weakest Link Anne Robinson presents the quick-fire general knowledge quiz in which contestants must decide at the end of each round which of their number should be eliminated. In a gameshow way though, not a life and death way.

7.50 National Lottery Saturday Draws The Thunderball, Dream Number and Lotto draws, live from Lottery HQ. Better not be prerecorded or there’ll be some very curious winners.

8.00 Eurovision Dance Contest 10.15 BBC News 10.35 FILM: Firewall (2006) Starring Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany, Mary Lynn Rajskub and Virginia Madsen. Action thriller following a security expert who is forced by a businessman holding his family at gunpoint to steal 100 million dollars from a bank defended by one of his defence systems. Harrison Ford looking weathered and stressed. Again.

12.15am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross Jonathan Ross, hosts an entertaining mix of music, comedy banter and celebrity chat. As ever, a starry lineup of guests join Wossy on the famously uncomfortable sofa, and there’s musical accompaniment from the somewhat camp house band `Four Poofs and a Piano’!

1.15 Weatherview 1.20 Joins BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Pipeline Adventures 6.30 Live Rugby Union 8.30 Live Rugby Union 10.30 Big Fight Countdown 11.00 Max Power 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega European Masters Gillette World Sport 4.30 Sailing 5.00 Suzuki Swift Cup 5.30 Big Fight Countdown 6.00 LIVE Super League 8.00 LIVE Football 10.00 LIVE Football 12.30am LIVE NASCAR 4.30 Max Power 5.30 Sailing

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE International Cricket 9.30 Sky Sports Classics 10.00 Sailing 10.30 Rally Fever 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sailing 12.30 LIVE Pro40 League 6.30 International Cricket 8.00 WWE Smackdown 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 America’s Game 4.00 Super League

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

4.00pm Hairspray: The School Musical 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Road Wars 7.00 Big Fight Countdown 7.30 Gladiators: The Legends Return 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Ross Kemp on Gangs 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Prison Break 12.50am Street Wars 1.40 The Villa 2.35 Mile High

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Pranks Galore!

9.00 Most Annoying Couples 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 1.15 The Wrong Door 1.45 Pranks Galore!

2.45 Spooks: Code 9 3.30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 4.30 The Real Hustle 5.00 Close

7.00pm Clarissa and the King’s Cookbook 7.30 Lost Horizons: The Big Bang 8.30 The Big Bang Machine 9.30 Fossil Detectives 10.00 Takin’ Over the Asylum (x2) 11.40 Hey Mr DJ: The Rise and Rise of the Disc Jockey 12.20am Caledonia Dreamin’ 1.20 Fossil Detectives 1.50 Lost Horizons: The Big Bang

4.30pm Xtra Factor 5.30 CelebAir 6.30 Animals do the Funniest Things 7.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.50 Xtra Factor 9.00 Ghosthunting with... Paul O’Grady and Friends. See highlights. 11.00 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 11.30 The X Factor12.30am Xtra Factor 1.30 The Passions of...Girls Aloud

12.35pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.40 FILM: Tom Jones (1963) 4.10 Cadfael 5.50 Profiling Colin Dexter 6.50 Kevin Whately: Morse and Me 6.55 Inspector Morse 9.00 Taggart 10.35 FILM: Another You (1991) 12.30am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.25 PD James 2.20 Cagney and Lacey (x2) 4.00 Teleshopping

10.00am Gilmore Girls (x5) 2.30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Wife Swap 7.00 Supernanny US 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Big Brother Finale (x2) 11.00 Big Mouth with Davina 11.50 Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live 12.50am Dylan Moran: Like, Totally 1.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.05 Switched (x2)

9.00am A Place in the Sun 9.30 Time Team (x5) 2.45pm FILM: River Of No Return (1954) 4.35 Property Ladder (x5) 10.00 Snowdon and Margaret: Inside a Royal Marriage 11.10 Last Party at the Palace 12.15am The West Wing 1.20 ER 2.20 Snowdon and Margaret: Inside a Royal Marriage 3.30 Close

3.00pm Outrageous Home Videos: Holiday Blunders 4.00 FILM: The Karate Kid (1984) 6.30 Will and Grace 7.00 Make Me a Supermodel US 8.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 9.00 Ibiza 2008 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.05am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Kath and Kim (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

6.55am Brucie’s Generation Game: Now and Then 7.25 Hamish Macbeth 8.25 Murder, She Wrote 9.20 FILM: Spy Kids (2001) 11.00 Only Fools and Horses (x11) 9.00pm FILM: Twelve Monkeys (1995) 11.30 Only Fools and Horses 12.10am Jonathan Creek (x2) Creek 2.00 Columbo (x3)

2.00pm Frasier (x2) 3.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 4.00 Frasier (x2) 5.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x8) 2.40am Linc’s 3.10 Frasier 3.35 Suburban Shootout 4.00 Frasier (x2)

6.00pm Deadliest Catch: on Shore 7.00 Building the Ultimate (x2) 8.00 Days That Shook the World 9.00 FILM: Empire Of The Sun (1988) 12.15am New Series Preview: Autumn Line-Up 12.30 Days That Shook the World 1.30 Crime Scene USA: Body of Evidence 2.00 Forensic Detectives

11.00am Star Trek 12.00pm Thunderbirds (x2) 2.10 Quantum Leap (x2) 4.10 Firefly (x2) 6.10 FILM: Spaceballs (1987) 8.00 Tin Man 9.50 FILM: The People Under The Stairs (1991) 11.50 FILM: Boa Vs Python (2004) 1.40am FILM: Creature (2004) 3.30 The Making of Tin Man 4.00 FILM: Landslide (2004)

12.40pm The Far Country (1955) 2.20 Shenandoah (1965) 4.10 Bandolero!

(1968) 6.00 Two Mules For Sister Sara (1970) 8.00 Joe Kidd (1972) 9.30 Unforgiven (1992) 11.45 Shenandoah (1965) 1.35am Broken Arrow (1950) 3.10 Two Mules For Sister Sara (1970) 5.15 The Far Country (1955)

2.40pm Still Crazy (1998) 4.25 35mm 4.55 The Duellists (1977) 6.50 An Inconvenient Truth (2006) 8.30 Friends With Money (2006) 10.00 Ong-Bak (2004) 11.50 Midnight Movies: From the Margin to the Mainstream 1.25am Still Crazy (1998) 3.05 OngBak (2004)

1.00pm The Lost World (1960) 3.00 The Return Of The Musketeers (1989) 5.00 Joe Wright on David Lean 5.10 Brief Encounter (1945) 6.55 Guess Who (2005) 9.00 How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days (2003) Kate Hudson and Matt McConaughey laugh a bit. 11.15 Wolf Creek (2004) 1.15am The Dreamers (2002)

11.00am The Champ (1931) 1.00pm Roberta (1935) 3.00 Rebel Without A Cause (1955) 5.00 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 6.50 Logan’s Run (1976) 9.00 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (1973) 11.15 Hit Man (1972) 12.55am Night Digger (1971) 2.45 The Americanization Of Emily (1964)

Classics

Indie

040_LS388_TV_Sun

8/29/08

9:53 AM

Page 1

sunday 7 Dragons’ Den BBC2, 6pm Baffling new inventions enter the den, making Duncan frown, Theo rub his spectacles and Deborah say “really” in a less than convinced manner. This week’s challengers include fat-free curry sauces, an ingenious Thermaskirt – a radiator made to fit and look like a skirting board – and recycled jewellery boxes.

Wife Swap Channel 4, 8pm Obviously the two wives have got to be polar opposites, otherwise what’s the point? Penny has been blind since birth and runs her home and two children in a more than shipshape manner. Vanessa has five kids, three internet businesses and a devil may care attitude. Even the visually challenged can see trouble ahead.

Dark Angel E4, 10.35am and 11.30am Recovery telly at its most enjoyable. Starring Jessica Alba as she left teenagehood as a genetically engineered renegade soldier in a post-apocalyptic future there’s nothing not to like.

James Cameron created, lots of lovely fighting and ethics thrown into an unethical world, sit back and enjoy the toast and coffee.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Life 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 Cash in the Attic 1.05 EastEnders 3.05 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.00 FILM: The Haunted Mansion (2003) 5.25 Songs of Praise

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Roar 8.00 Mona the Vampire 8.13 The Owl 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 Stupid 9.00 SMart 10.00 Something for the Weekend 11.30 Rachel’s Favourite Food at Home 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Fred Dibnah’s World of Steam, Steel and Stone 1.30 Paralympics 2008 3.30 Burghley Horse Trials 5.00 Athletics: Women’s 5k Challenge 5.30 Wild Tribe

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Art Attack 10.05 Finger Tips 10.25 Finger Tips 10.45 Tricky Quickies 10.50 The X Factor 11.50 ITV News and Weather 11.55 Meridian News and Weather 12.00pm F1: Belgian Grand Prix 3.00 FILM: Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) 4.30 Martin Clunes: A Man and His Dogs 5.30 Meridian News and Weather 5.45 ITV News and Weather

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 The Highlander Challenge World Championship 8.50 Friends 9.20 Orange Rockcorps 9.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.00pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.05 Friends 1.35 Ugly Betty 2.35 When Women Rule the World 3.40 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal or No Deal 5.30 Deadliest Catch

6.00am – 9.10am Children’s television 9.10 Animal Families 9.25 George Shrinks 10.00 Fifth Gear 11.00 Secrets of the Jesus Tomb 12.00pm FILM: Martin And Lewis (2002) 1.55 FILM: Our Man In Havana (1960) 4.00 Rory & Paddy’s Great British Adventure 5.00 Five News and Sport 5.15 FILM: Cutthroat Island (1995)

6.00am International Football 7.30 International Football 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals on Sunday 12.30pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 3.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 6.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 LIVE Masters Football: Grand Final 2008 9.30 LIVE Tennis: US Open 2008 12.30am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Max Power 2.00 LIVE International Football 4.30 Gillette World Sport 5.00 Watersports World

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances Hyacinth has her feathers ruffled when she spies a strange man at Elizabeth’s who has obviously spent the night there. Saucy!

6.30 Griff on Hardy 7.30 BBC News 8.00 Antiques Roadshow New host Fiona Bruce joins Michael Aspel for the first of the new series. The Roadshow team visit the ruins of Bolton Abbey in Yorkshire, where they find a 200-year-old lambing chair, and a trinket which the experts recognise as a Fabergé. Cool!

9.00 Northern Lights 10.00 BBC News 10.20 FILM: The Weather Man (2005) Starring Nicolas Cage, Michael Caine, Hope Davis, Nicholas Hoult. Black comedy charting the public success but personal inadequacy of a Chicago weatherman whose success in his job contrasts with private woes, including a failed marriage, underachieving children and a terminally-ill father whose shadow he could never emerge from.

Can he find a way to correct his life but maintain his success at work?

Cheery little number.

12.00am The Sky at Night 12.20 Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Pacific Abyss 1.25 God on Trial 2.50 Holby City 3.50 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 4.35 Joins BBC News

6.00 Dragons’ Den See highlights.

7.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine show with Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond. The presenters revisit their attempt to build amphibious cars, and face up to one of their biggest and choppiest challenges to date.

8.00 Charley Boorman: Ireland to Sydney by Any Means The adventurer begins his most daring journey so far, as he gets off his bike and on to local means of transport such as container ships, dug-out canoes, solar cars and an elephant in a journey from Ireland to Australia.

9.00 Earth: The Climate Wars Dr Iain Stewart traces the history of climate change from its very beginning and examines just how the scientific community managed to get it so very wrong back in the seventies. Along the way he uncovers some of the great unsung heroes of climate change science.

10.00 FILM: Cinderella Man (2005) Starring Russell Crowe, Renee Zellweger, Paul Giamatti, Craig Bierko and Paddy Considine.

Biopic of legendary 1930s boxer James Braddock, who returned to the ring after retirement as the underdog contender for the heavyweight championship.

12.15am FILM: Bad Timing (1980) 2.15 Joins BBC News 4.35 The Super League Show

6.00 Soccer Aid 2008 Ant and Dec present action from this year’s Soccer Aid match live from the Wembley Stadium, as England’s top celebrities and World Cup legends go head-tohead against the rest of the world, in aid of children’s charity UNICEF. Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp leads the England squad, which includes David Seaman, Alan Shearer, Kyran Bracken, Ben Shephard, Gareth Gates and Jamie Theakston; while Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish leads a team from the rest of the world which includes Romario, Peter Schmeichel, Brian Lara, Alastair Campbell, Nicky Byrne and Gordon Ramsay.

10.00 ITV News and Weather 10.15 F1: Belgian Grand Prix Highlights Steve Rider presents the best of the action from today’s Belgian Grand Prix.

11.15 Faith in the Frame Melvyn Bragg chairs a series of discussions on the religious themes and relevance of ten of the world’s most fascinating religious pictures. This edition features The Crucifixion in The Isenheim Altarpiece by Matthias Grunewald.

11.45 60 Minute Makeover 12.40am Don’t Move, Improve (x2) 1.50 Coming Home 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Sculpture Diaries Waldemar Januszczak presents a definitive account of his favourite artform, sculpture. He travels the globe to see the most spectacular sculptural locations. A look at how leaders aim to leave a lasting visual legacy. Lenin, in reality an inconspicuous figure, was recreated in sculptures after his death as a dominant presence. Plus, those American presidents’ heads on a cliff.

They look impressive, don’t they?

8.00 Wife Swap See highlights.

9.00 FILM: Braveheart (1995) Starring Mel Gibson, Sophie Marceau, Patrick McGoohan, Catherine McCormack. Epic historical drama set in the late 13th century, telling the story of legendary hero William Wallace’s fight to drive English garrisons out of Scotland.

Returning to Scotland, Wallace finds the English king has seized the throne. When Wallace’s wife is murdered by English soldiers, he vows revenge and soon becomes the focus of resistance against the English. The film’s five Oscars include Best Picture and Best Director.

12.15am Back to You 12.30 FILM: Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (2006) 4.15 St Elsewhere 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Inuk

7.30 FILM: The Producers (2005) Starring Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, Will Ferrell, Uma Thurman, Gary Beach, Roger Bart and Eileen Essell. Remake of the Mel Brooks classic in which a crooked Broadway producer co-opts a timid accountant into mounting a play that is certain to flop, intending to sell out and escape to Rio. They track down the worst play in history, turn it into a musical and recruit the most inept cast and director they can find. But will it be a surefire flop? Off the back of this story becoming a runaway Broadway musical success, the answer won’t be straightforward.

10.00 Greatest Ever Comedy Movies Greatest Ever Comedy Movies brings you 40 of the funniest films ever to grace our screens, as voted for in an exclusive poll of Five viewers and readers of The Times newspaper. Host Giles Coren will have you rolling in the aisles as he takes you on a hilarious journey to the number one spot. Along the way he is joined by many famous faces who have been exclusively interviewed for the programme, including: John Cleese, Frank Oz, ‘Weird Al’Yankovic, Burt Kwouk and Terry Jones. An inoffensive end to your weekend.

12.50am Major League Baseball 4.20 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Max Power 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Super League 9.30 NASCAR 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf: Omega European Masters 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 NFL: Total Access 5.30 NFL: Who Is? 6.00 LIVE NFL 9.00 LIVE NFL 12.30am NFL: Top Ten 1.30 LIVE NFL

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 Golf Night 8.30 Gillette World Sport 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sky Sports Classics 12.30 LIVE Pro40 League 6.30 Sky Sports Classics 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.00 WWE: Experience 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 WWE Unforgiven

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 4.00 Futurama (x3) 5.30 The Simpsons (x3) 7.00 Hairspray: The School Musical 8.00 FILM: Grease (1978) 10.10 Gladiators: The Legends Return 11.40 Ross Kemp on Gangs 12.40am Road Wars 1.40 Street Wars 2.30 The Villa 3.20 Mile High 4.15 Ibiza Uncovered 5.10 Guilty!

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Don’t Tell the Bride 9.00 Spooks: Code 9 9.50 Family Guy (x2) 10.35 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 11.35 How Not to Live Your Life 12.05am The Wrong Door 12.35 Don’t Tell the Bride 1.35 Spooks: Code 9 2.25 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2)

9.20pm Imagine... A Trip to Asia: On the Road with the Berlin Philharmonic 10.20 Call the Cops 10.50 Between the Lines 11.50 They Came from Manchester: The Story of Mancunian Pop 12.50am Factory: Manchester from Joy Division to Happy Mondays

1.40pm FILM: Ice Age (2002) 3.05 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.00 The X Factor 7.00 Xtra Factor 8.00 TV’s Funniest Music Moments 9.00 FILM: Ice Age (2002) 10.35 FILM: Instinct (1999) 1.00am CelebAir 2.00 Xtra Factor 2.50 Entourage (x2) 3.45 Teleshopping 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen

3.20pm Rising Damp 3.55 Dempsey and Makepeace 5.00 Midsomer Murders’ Map 6.00 Midsomer Murders 8.05 Midsomer Murders 10.05 Surviving Midsomer – An Insider’s Guide 11.05 Profiling Colin Dexter 12.05am Dempsey and Makepeace 1.10 FILM: Nora Roberts Collection: Angels Fall (2007)

10.35am Dark Angel (x2).

See highlights. 12.25pm Roswell (x2) 2.15 Smallville: Superman the Early Years (x2) 4.00 Friends (x2) 5.00 Ghost Whisperer (x2) 6.55 Shooting Britney 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Shameless 12.05am Dark Angel (x2) 1.45 Roswell

1.10pm A Place in the Sun 1.45 The Coach Trip (x5) 4.35 Come Dine with Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie at Home 7.55 Medicine Men Go Wild 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 Father Ted 12.15am Trigger Happy TV 12.45 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

3.50pm Maury (x2) 5.35 The Jerry Springer Show 6.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 7.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 8.00 Living with... the Cheeky Girls 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Kath and Kim (x2) 2.00 Veronica Mars 3.00 Out of Practice

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

6.00am Dallas 7.00 Jim’ll Fix it Strikes Again 7.30 Hamish Macbeth 8.30 Murder, She Wrote 9.30 Columbo 11.00 Only Fools and Horses (x9) 9.00 Jonathan Creek (x3) 12.10am Only Fools and Horses 1.55 Columbo: How to Dial a Murder 3.10 Columbo 4.25 Columbo 5.35 Neighbours

9.00am Frasier (x24) 9.00pm Scrubs 9.30 The Sarah Silverman Programme 10.00 Sex and the City (x8) 2.50 Frasier (x5) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life in Film (x2) 5.10 Frasier (x2)

3.00pm FILM: Empire Of The Sun (1988) 6.15 New Series Preview: Autumn Line-Up 6.30 How Stuff’s Made 7.00 Nefertiti Revealed 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 Crime Museum UK with Martin Kemp (x2) 11.00 Deranged Killers 12.00am A Haunting 1.00 Crime Scene Australia 2.00 Forensic Detectives

8.00am Teleshopping 11.00 Thunderbirds 12.10pm FILM: Spaceballs (1987) 2.00 FILM: Thrill Seekers (1999) 3.50 FILM: The Haunting Within (2003) 5.50 Thunderbirds (x2) 8.00 FILM: The Sword Of Xanten (2004) 9.50 Heroes 10.50 Heroes 11.50 FILM: The Fog (1980) 1.40am Star Trek 3.00 Tin Man

11.00am The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 1.10 McLintock! (1963) 3.20 Modern Greats and Classics Close Up 3.50 True Grit (1969) 6.05 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 8.00 Cahill, United States Marshal (1973) 9.45 3.10 To Yuma (2007) 11.50 The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)

3.00pm Tsotsi (2005) 4.40 The Tango Lesson (1997) 6.25 Remnants Of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007) 8.20 Thank You For Smoking (2005) 10.00 Sex, Lies And Videotape (1989) 11.45 I Want You (1998) 1.15am London To Brighton (2006) 2.45 Action & Thriller Close-Up

1.00pm The Honeymooners (2005) 2.55 The Silver Fleet (1943) 4.40 Joe Wright on David Lean 4.50 Great Expectations (1946) David Lean’s epic Dickens tale starring John Mills. 7.10 Carry On Behind (1975) 9.00 White Noise (2004) 10.55 Hostage (2005) 1.05am Quills (2000)

7.15 A Yank At Eton (1942) 8.45 Crest Of The Wave (1954) 10.30 Destination Tokyo (1943) 1.00pm The Miniver Story (1950) 3.00 Ben-Hur (1959) 6.40 Northwest Passage (1940) 9.00 The Elephant Man (1980) 11.20 Shaft (1971) 1.15am Cool Breeze (1972) 3.20 Out Of The Fog (1941) 5.00 A Yank At Oxford (1938)

Classics

Indie

041_LS388_TV_Mon

8/28/08

4:52 PM

Page 1

monday 8 Paralympics 2008: Games Today BBC2, 7pm Clare Balding presents coverage of the first day of athletics in the Bird’s Nest Stadium. Britain’s Shelly Woods competes in the day’s main event, the women’s T54 5000m final, and there’s action from the T54 5000m and T44 100m heats. Just the ticket for your Olympics cravings.

Bob Monkhouse’s Comedy Heroes Five, 10pm In this programme recorded shortly before the lovely Bob Monkhouse’s death, he picks out his favourite funny-makers from the past and present. Including Ross Noble, Lucille Ball, Peter Kay and Bob Hope, Mr Monkhouse talks fondly of them all and remembers the laughs.

The Wrong Door BBC3, 9.30pm Another comedy sketch show from BBC3 – they’re quite in vogue, you know – this one has a bit of a buzz about it. Set in a parallel universe with stories like Ed and Lucy’s cheap selfassembly wardrobe that leads to Njarnia, a monster that lives in the stationary cupboard, and Philip the Dinosaur bowling.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Lazytown 3.30 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 The Owl 4.05 Gina’s Laughing Gear 4.30 Bernard 4.35 Grange Hill 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Mister Maker 9.20 Something Special - Out And About 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.50 Pingu 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 Coast 10.35 FILM: Just My Luck (2006) 12.00pm What Are You Like?

12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Step Up To The Plate 5.15 Wanted Down Under

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Will And Grace 8.55 Frasier 9.25 Frasier 9.55 ER 10.55 Without A Trace 11.55 Bright Young Wonders 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Property Ladder 1.35 British Made 1.45 FILM: Death Drums Along The River (1963) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Behind Closed Doors 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.45 Zoo Days 3.10 FILM: The Promise (1999) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 International Football 10.30 Tennis: US Open 2008 1.00pm Masters Football: Grand Final 2008 4.00 International Football 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Speedway 9.30 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.00am LIVE NFL 3.00 LIVE NFL

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 After You’ve Gone Jimmy and Alex bond through vandalism.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders 8.30 Panorama Current affairs show.

9.00 New Tricks The team investigate the murky death of Joe Walsh, the general secretary of the Grand Drivers Union, whose body was found in the Thames in 1975. On the night he died, Walsh was suspected of taking money from the union’s accounts. Sticky fingers or just a sticky case?

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan – Dark Side Of Fame: Pamela Anderson 11.20 FILM: Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind (2002) Starring Sam Rockwell, Julia Roberts, Drew Barrymore, Rutger Hauer and George Clooney. Oddball black comedy based on the cult memoirs of Chuck Barris about a successful television producer, who moonlights as a CIA assassin in his spare time.

1.05am Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Who Do You Think You Are? 2.10 Antiques Roadshow 3.10 The Cup 3.40 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 4.25 Joins BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Starting the week – quizzing!

6.30 Masterchef: The Professionals The chefs face two challenges. First they must make two dishes in 50 minutes from the central ingredient of rainbow trout, then they must recreate two classic dishes – Pork Robert and Poires Belles Helene.

7.00 Paralympics 2008: Games Today See highlights.

8.00 University Challenge The students of Murray Edwards College (formerly New Hall, Cambridge) do battle with the University of Sheffield. Posh vs Pretty.

8.30 The Hairy Bakers From birthday cakes to traditional wedding cakes, Simon King and Dave Myers delve into the world of celebration cakes. Loads to stuff in your face.

9.00 Dragons’ Den Trying to convince the Dragons to part with their cash are a collection of new entrepreneurs, with ideas from feeding the homeless to baby discos.

10.00 Harry And Paul Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse are back with a whole new sketch show.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Bookmark Paul Pawlikowski’s award-winning documentary on life behind Serbian lines in Bosnia.

12.05am Ellery Queen 12.55 Joins BBC News 4.00 The French Experience I: 1-4 5.00 The French Experience I: 5-8

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Bob is devastated

by Viv’s decision. Val has doubts about suing Bob. Go on – kick a man when he’s down.

7.30 Coronation Street The bank knocks back Tom’s request for a loan – and he knows Carla’s his only option. She knows it too as she pushes for a 25 per cent stake in the business and the chance to break the news to Liam herself. Manipulative (insert your own abuse here).

8.00 A Rubbish Service: Tonight Mark Jordan reveals the truth behind the rubbish we recycle.

8.30 Coronation Street Dev’s having second thoughts about Nina.

9.00 The Children Events are witnessed from two time perspectives, as the police begin their investigation into Emily’s murder.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Blue Velvet (1986) Starring Kyle MacLachlan, Isabella Rossellini, Dennis Hopper, Laura Dern. Disturbing tale of paranoia, extreme violence and deviant sex in suburban America.

12.50am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.15 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.10 Loose Women 3.00 Moving Day (x2) 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jacqui informs Tony she is taking over the running of Washed Up. Busy hands and all that, but isn’t this a McQueen embarking on hard graft? Wonders.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Dispatches A fifth of children in the UK will start secondary school this month unable to read and write properly. Investigating in schools seems the right place to start.

9.00 The Price Of Property Jon Henley embarks on a journey around the UK to discover how the pursuit of property ownership has changed the country. Starting in London.

10.00 FILM: Keeping Mum (2005) Starring Rowan Atkinson, Maggie Smith, Kristin Scott Thomas. Comedy about a vicar whose housekeeper proves indispensible with her ability to make problems disappear.

12.00am The Shooting Party 12.30 4 Music: 4Play: Glasvegas 12.45 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: Friendly Fires 1.00 Personal Services Required 2.00 3 Minute Wonder (x2) 2.10 Dispatches: The Truth About Street Weapons 3.05 3 Minute Wonder 3.10 Dispatches: Undercover Mosque 4.05 St Elsewhere 4.55 Grudge Match 5.05 Salvage Squad

6.00 Home And Away Nicole’s unruly behaviour shows no sign of letting up. She is a wild child. Fact.

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Conservation officers mount a rescue mission when a mother bear and her two cubs wander into a Vancouver garden. Maybe they wanted marmalade.

7.00 Five News 7.30 Top Trumps Robert Llewellyn and Ashley Hames test their knowledge of extreme machines.

Based on the card game of the 70s and 80s, the series uses the Trumps format to examine all manner of contraptions - from ships to diggers.

8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show.

9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green For the second leg of his adventure, Robson heads to the Tennessee river in the Deep South of the US to try ‘catfish grabbling’.

10.00 Bob Monkhouse’s Comedy Heroes See highlights.

11.05 FILM: Risky Business (1983) Starring Tom Cruise, Rebecca De Mornay, Curtis Armstrong. Comedy about a normally well-behaved teenager who goes wild while his parents are out of town. A chance to catch Tom Cruise before he caught permanent smugisitis.

1.00am NFL 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 Premiership Rugby Union 11.30 Football 1.00pm NFL GameDay 2.30 Premiership Rugby Union 4.30 Live Pro40 League 10.00 Showjumping 11.00 Carp Academy 2008 11.30 Pipeline Adventures 12.00am Wild Spirits 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Big League Weekend 2.30 Sailing 3.00 World Motor Sport

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Masters Football: Grand Final 2008 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00pm WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 WWE: Experience 2.00 WWE Afterburn 3.00 WWE Vintage Collection 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 WWE Smackdown 9.00 WWE Unforgiven 12.00am Speedway 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 You’re On Sky Sports

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Hairspray: The School Musical 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 10.00 FILM: Rocky II (1979) 12.15am Road Wars (x2) 2.05 Scare Tactics 2.30 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.15 Brainiac: Science Abuse

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Freaky Eaters 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 The Wrong Door. See highlights 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Spooks: Code 9 11.20 Family Guy (x2) 12.05am The Wrong Door 12.35 Money For Nothing 1.30 The Real Hustle (x2) 2.30 Spooks: Code 9 3.20 Don’t Tell The Bride

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Proms On Four 2008: Chicago Symphony Orchestra 9.40 Creating Life On Mars 10.00 Life On Mars 11.00 Sleepers 11.55 More Dawn French’s Boys Who Do: Comedy 12.25am Strictly Courtroom 1.55 Proms On Four 2008: Chicago Symphony Orchestra

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Airline USA 8.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA (x2) 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am FILM: The Mummy (1999) 2.30 Entourage (x2)

4.00pm Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Film File 6.55 Revisiting Brideshead 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Wycliffe 9.00 Profiling PD James 10.00 PD James: An Unsuitable Job For A Woman 12.10am Profiling PD James 1.10 PD James: Shroud For A Nightingale

1.45pm One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 FILM: Phone Booth (2002) 11.30 Scrubs (x2) 12.30 Gilmore Girls 1.25 Ghost Whisperer (x2) 3.05 Smallville: Superman The Early Years

6.05pm Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Britain’s Worst Weather 10.00 Grand Designs Revisited 11.10 Without A Trace 12.10am The Man Who Predicted 9/11 1.10 Britain’s Worst Weather

3.00pm Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 7.55 The Fix 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 10.00 America’s Next Top Model 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Will And Grace (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.00 pm Doctor Who 5.00 One Foot In The Grave 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Jonathan Creek (x2) 11.10 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.50 The Worst Week Of My Life 12.30am Shark (x2) 2.20 Icons

4.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Two And A Half Men 12.20am Rules Of Engagement 12.50 Trailer Park Boys

6.00pm American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 American Chopper (x2) 10.00 American Chopper Special 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA: Body Of Evidence 1.00 Crime Scene Australia 2.00 Forensic Detectives

2.00pm The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Thrill Seekers (1999) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Medium 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: The Loch Ness Terror (2007) 11.50 FILM: Deadly Water (2006) 1.30am Medium 2.30 The Making Of Tin Man 3.00 Angel 4.00 The Lost World 5.00 Angel

12.00pm Barefoot In The Park (1967) 1.50 A Touch Of Larceny (1959) 3.40 White Savage (1943) 5.05 The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 7.10 Holiday Inn (1942) 9.00 Barefoot In The Park (1967) 10.50 Safety Last (1923) 12.20am It Came From Outer Space (1953)

10.30am Water (2005) 12.30pm Ballets Russes 2.40 The Curse Of The Golden Flower (2006) 4.35 Lemming (2005) 6.50 Nina’s Heavenly Delights (2006) 8.30 Shakes The Clown (1992) 10.00 The Road To Wellville (1994) 12.05am Guy (1996) 1.45 Lemming (2005)

1.00pm The Mark Of Zorro (1974) 2.30 This Happy Breed (1944) 4.40 Oliver Twist (1948) 7.00 The Wedding Planner (2001) Jennfier Lopez does a boo boo and falls for the groom in this romcom. 9.00 Just Married (2003) 10.55 Running Scared (2005) 1.20am Les Enfants Du Siecle (1999)

7.20am The Citadel (1938) 9.20 Ben-Hur (1959) 1.00pm A Life Of Her Own (1950) 3.00 Hotel Paradiso (1966) 4.50 Bhowani Junction (1956) 6.55 The Sandpiper (1965) 9.00 Wise Guys (1986) 10.35 Whose Life Is It Anyway? (1981) 12.45am Shaft’s Big Score!

(1972) 2.35 Action In The North Atlantic (1943)

Classics

Indie