Latest 7 Magazine: Issue 380 8-14 July

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★ jobs ★ cars ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ www.latest7.co.uk

the magazine for brighton, hove & sussex 8–14 July 2008

female of the species director jean-paul salomé talks exclusively about his new film female agents

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rideon time

it’s getting hot in here fashion tips to avoid taking off all your clothes

new young pony club saddle up and head into town for the loop festival page 19

best in show rob da bank on family-friendly camp bestival Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival 2008

THAI GASTROBAR

My back feels so much better after visiting Revitalise Amanda Neil, Paramedic

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Contents

Welcome

★ latest jobs 4–6

Another week, another set of festivals to get your teeth into – I hope you’ve all managed to recover from Hop, Glastonbury and the rest. This week we have news of the Loop festival, coming up in August, with headliners New Young Pony Club, These New Puritans and others playing at Brighton University and Victoria Gardens. The city is also preparing to welcome 150,000 people to Pride festival; the team are desperate for volunteers to help the day go smoothly – find out how to apply on page 36.

In music, Nick Aldwinckle quizzes Rob Da Bank on his new family-friendly Camp Bestival, which takes place in Dorset next weekend and has a line-up including Chuck Berry, Billy Bragg and Suzanne Vega (p31).

Victoria Nangle has interviewed Mighty Boosh star Mike Fielding (p30) who will be down this way in November. In the TV section, Victoria gives her take on the latest offering from the Spooks team (p38). Dani will be back with her views on the box next week.

In her diary, Dani rips into the world we have created of war and violence (p10).

Katie is finding herself falling in love again with an old flame – her former home town, but is it enough to make her move back to Brighton (p9)?

Andrew has gone camping – and managed to find a campsite next to a great gastro pub (p20) – after all, he could live without a roof over his head but without good food? Never!

Photographer Tim Richardson has been mingling with models and conscientious fashion fans at an ethical fashion show at Marsha’s furniture store (p8) and in fashion (p18), Harriet Hoff has found some of the best summer buys.

Female Agents director Jean-Paul Salomé visited the Duke of York’s, where he spoke exclusively to Isabella Formisano, read the interview in film on page 27.

We have competitions this week to win tickets to the British International Motor Show and a CSI DVD and X-box game (p8).

Meanwhile in music, you can win a crate of Sputnik vodka (p34).

If you’re looking for a head start in a media career, Wired Sussex is running internships at 24 of the hottest media companies whether you want to work in PR, computer gaming or web design, see the jobs section starting on page 4.

The squatters have finally been evicted from London Road Methodist Church. I was there on eviction day – see pictures in the news summary on page 14.

Also in news, Phil Mills discovers there are children living in Brighton who have never seen the sea (p15) and I look at why some teachers and parents are so worried about Falmer High School becoming a city academy (p13).

★ latest listings 21–51

4 Thinking of the next step on your career ladder? Well, opportunity awaits!

★ latest upfront 8–12

23 Reviews and listings index Reviews of all the best and the not-so-best entertainment offerings

25 Stage

11

Play in the park: She Stoops to Conquer at St Ann’s Well Gardens

8 Social diary, and win stuff!

9 Katie finds it hard coming back 10 Eminemmylou and Dani

26 Film Director Jean-Paul Salomé on his new film Female Agents

29 Kids and Events

11 Celeb city: Denise, Denise!

School Flora and Garden Gadabout

12 Bare cheek: ten things to do while waiting for the Number 81 bus

★ latest news 13–16 13 Big story: the city academy debate 14 News round up of the week 15 Phil Mills on why our children need more fresh air and beach time

16 Letters and sport

★ latest lifestyle 17–20 17 Health: advice on taking supplements 17 Model: bad times and regrets

29 Art Rising Styles’ 3D street art

30 Comedy Mike Fielding on life outside the Boosh

30 Books Review of The Household Guide to Dying by Debra Adelaide

31 Music Rob Da Bank on the all-new familyfriendly festival, Camp Bestival Brighton Latest Download Chart

TOP

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35 Clubs Jaime joins in the chaos down at Spunk, and loves it!

36 Gay

18 Fashion: beach babe time

Will on marriage, news and listings

19 Cover feature: the Loop Festival is back for its second year

20 Food: Andrew Kay goes camping and finds a nearby foodies’ paradise

21 Hot list: your guide to the tastiest

38 Television Vicky’s on TV this week and is welcoming the imminent arrival of Bonekickers, plus seven whole days of glorious listings

eating places in the city

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19 27 01273

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Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Editor Rachel Pegg

Business Director Angi Mariani

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Website Manager Paul Burgess

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Art Director Stephen King

Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle

Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Dani Winch

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards

Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Faye Perriam Steve Sawyer

Administration Claire Peerless Sara Henfridsson

Sub Editors Joe Curtin Melina Greenfield Tristan Parker

Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Marie Viviani

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Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor latest 7 3

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latest

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

jobs

Intern opportunity Looking for a career in digital media? Wired Sussex launches the Brighton Internship programme 2008 Wired Sussex, the digital support outfit for Sussex today, launches this year’s Brighton Internship Programme. The initiative provides an unbeatable opportunity for graduates to get invaluable grant-supported training with one of 22 digital media companies, including web, games, TV and music businesses, all based in Brighton.

Participating companies include: Electric Sky, Eurogamer, Animazoo, Cogapp, Worth, Clearleft, Midnight Communications, Madgex, Melting Vinyl and many more.

All 24 internships are now live and available online; interested applicants can get more information, a full list of participating companies and application details at www.wiredsussex.com/bip .

The programme places graduate interns with digital media companies for a six-week scheme starting in September 2008. 24 selected interns will get: • A credible internship in a sought after media company • Cracking contacts and invaluable experience • High level training from professional trainers • Respected references for their CV • A support grant for the period of the internship • Six-week placement over a three-month period – so interns can fit it around another job

Top Media Jobs French Speakers Required – Club Penguin UK We are looking for Player Support Representatives to moderate the French language version of Club Penguin, providing outstanding support to players via email and online moderation.

Senior Sales Executive – Oban Multilingual Our speciality in international search and search engine optimisation combined with our years of experience with website localisation means that we can offer a unique international marketing service.

This role requires you to sell multilingual search engine marketing (SEM) and search engine optimisation (SEO) products to businesses. .NET Developer – Nexus Internet Solutions .NET developer sought to create and maintain bespoke web based applications and information systems. Nexus has a friendly and inclusive culture that rewards inventiveness and resourcefulness. We offer a great salary, family friendly hours and flexitime and our office is located in the heart of Brighton, very close to the seafront Web Developer – DoYourOwnSite! LTD DoYourOwnSite! is a popular service offering thousands of businesses a quick and easy way to build and maintain their own websites. The successful applicant will play an active role in the conception, planning and development of the services offered by DoYourOwnSite! and will be given opportunities to explore new areas and ideas.

Assistant Storage Officer – University Of Sussex The campus data backup service is an essential component of the University’s IT disaster recovery strategy. The post holder will assist the Senior Storage Officer in the operation of the backup system.

Phil Jones, MD of Wired Sussex, said today: “This is the Brighton Internship Programme’s second successful year, and we’re really pleased that we now have 22 of Brighton’s brightest and best digital media companies on board. The Programme offers a head start to graduates who want to get into the fastest growing digital media cluster in the UK and have either just left University or are working where their talents are not being utilised. The training positions cover the spectrum of creative, technical, marketing and production. Last year the scheme was very successful in helping Brighton’s creative companies connect with the best graduate talent in the city – we reckon this year it will be better yet.“ One of last year’s interns, Thomas Matuszewski said: “I'd recommend the Brighton Internship Programme to anyone looking at working in the digital sector. It provides vital experience that enhances your CV and in doing so dramatically increases your chances of employment. While involved in the programme I learnt key skills that you can only gain through experience and was provided with access to insightful seminars that covered a variety of topics. These skills are not only useful in gaining employment but are also useful once you are employed in your day to day activities.”

Tom Nixon, Director of participating social networking company Nixon Mcinnes said: “In future we will be looking to hire junior members of the team who we can train up. The internship is an excellent way for us to get someone evaluated and started.“ Apply for the perfect digital media internship today: www.wiredsussex.com/bip Brighton Internship Programme is funded through Brighton and Hove City Council, via the LABGI initiative. If you’ve any queries about the Brighton Internship Programme, please feel free to contact Wired Sussex directly: email nish@wiredsussex.com or call 01273 692 888.

hundreds of jobs every week

Project Manager/Producer – Kerb Kerb are a digital agency that specialise in online entertainment content and websites. We’re seeking an experienced Project Manager to manage the production of web sites and games. Key qualities include experience, enthusiasm, creativity, personality & desire to work on ground breaking entertainment content.

IT Support Analyst – iCrossing iCrossing, formerly known as Spannerworks in the UK, is a global digital marketing company that combines talent and technology to help world-class brands such as Coca Cola, HBOS, TUI and Virgin. iCrossing require an IT Support Analyst.

(Flash) Technical Developer – Mind Orchard (UK) Ltd Mind Orchard UK Limited is a fun and innovative, digital design agency who specialise in advertising, animation and games development. We’re seeking a technology leader, with strong all round web development skills, aware of the latest developments and eager to make high quality work and break the mould occasionally.

New Media Graduate – Blue Edge Blue Edge is a progressive new media company based in the heart of Brighton. Working mainly within the property development and bid support markets we provide outstanding visual solutions using 3D visualisations, motion graphics, film, interactive applications, graphic design and print.

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latest

jobs

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

National Sales Executive £20k + £15k OTE (comm

Quality Assurance Officer Brighton - £21K

uncapped) A well established media company is actively looking for a sales executive. The successful candidate will be selling a portfolio of out of home media to a range of prominent London advertising agencies, graduates and senior account managers.

Working with an existing database, you will be responsible for maintaining and developing relationships within this sector.

The position will involve approximately two days working in the office making appointments and the other three days in London, in which the candidate will be developing relations, dealing with the client handlers, presenting and also entertaining the clients.

To ensure the quality of all company products according to the appropriate standards and in accordance with company aims and objectives by ensuring that production is working to the required standards of current good manufacturing practice.

Data-entry Clerk Brighton – £12-£13k

Office Junior Brighton – £12k A practical, hard working person is required in our clients Document Imaging Department. This role will involve the scanning and indexing of documents and images. Some projects may also involve processing data and generating reports therefore strong office experience is required.

Quality Control Laboratory Manager Brighton - £40k An exciting opportunity to head up a growing QC laboratory recently transferred to brand new facilities within an expanding Pharmaceutical manufacturing company located on the South Coast. You will have the opportunity to work in a fast-paced environment where you will be managing and developing a team of analysts to achieve company goals and objectives.

Reporting to the Associate Director GMP QA, you will manage a team of 10 staff (working on two shifts) responsible for QC functions such as Raw Material and FPS testing, method development, method validation, contract laboratory services, GMP, GLP and Health and Safety. .

Are you extremely fast at typing?

Our client has relaxed offices in the heart of Brighton and due to continuing expansion they are currently looking for two data-entry clerks to join their team! You will need to have a good level of speed and accuracy.

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LATESTDIARY

COMPETITIONS

latestdiary

IN IT TO WIN IT

With Tim Richardson

CSI goodies and show tickets

Any colour as long as it’s green On Saturday 21 June, Marsha’s furniture and accessory store hosted an Ethical fashion show at their eco store in Hove. Some of the UK’s leading ethical designers presented their collections, proving that fashion and ethics are not mutually exclusive. Designs from fair-trade fashion pioneers PeopleTree, award-winning sustainable fashion label Goodone and local designer Get Cutie illustrated that ethical clothing isn’t just all hippy and hemp, but beautiful collections of up to the minute, stylish designs.

Ethical stylist Lou Taylor said, “Ethical fashions to me means looking fantastic but not at anyone's expense, or at the expense of the planet. It means spending a little more on beautiful clothes that will last you a lifetime“.

Ethical fashion takes into consideration the people behind the clothes we wear, as well as the environment. As an industry worth over 1trillion dollars the fashion world has an enormous opportunity to create sustainable livelihoods and lift communities out of poverty.

Tickets to the British International Motor Show

Natasha Ettridge, Laura Wilkins, Bill Murray, Rachel Robertson-Brown (Murray Media PR)

Lois Black, Steve Black (Proprietor), Laxley Pennant (Proprietor)

New restaurant for Alfriston On Tuesday 24 June in the village of Alfriston, a Sussex dining treasure reopened its doors with a new team in place. The beautifully redesigned Moonrakers Restaurant situated in the High Street and backing onto the famous Tye, is the brainchild of film director and author Robin Bextor and his partner, designer, Polly Mockford. Newly appointed Head chef Robert Harris, who trained at Gordon Ramsay’s famous Maze Restaurant in Mayfair – under the Michelin starred Jason Atherton, has created a menu entirely sourced from a 25 mile radius of the restaurant. It is the menu that takes the current Moonrakers onto an entirely new level of dining experience and will also feature top quality wines, some locally produced such as the excellent Ridgeview ‘Bloomsbury‘ sparkling wine from Ditchling.

Polly Mockford (Restaurant Owner), Robin Bextor (Restaurant Owner)

Jade Gandey (Rageous Media), Sophie Ellis Bextor (Singer)

Susan Maffei, Adam Maffei, Kitty Ann, Michael Ann

The award-winning British International Motor Show sponsored by Zurich Connect returns to ExCeL London this summer. Bringing all the glamour, excitement and innovation of a world class motor show to the capital, this is a must-see show for all motor fans.

Running from 23 July to 3 August 2008, the two week extravaganza expects to attract over half a million people. New to the show this year is The Heritage Enclosure and Parade – a unique driving display of high performance supercars from the last five decades, from the 1950s to today.

Positioned right at the front of the show, the parade will rev up regularly throughout the day.

The Autoglym Supercar Paddock is a high-octane collection of exotic marques. Get up close and personal with some of the fastest, sexiest, most expensive and highly revered performance cars on the planet.

For those with a true spirit of adventure, experience the all round capabilities of Land Rover’s product line-up first hand at the Land Rover ‘Ultimate Experience’ zone.

With over 600 cars, 60 car marques, plenty of global premieres and interactive features, the show promises something for everyone from car enthusiasts to families looking for an exciting day out. Visit www.britishmotorshow.co.uk for more details.

Answer the simple question below, and you could be one of five lucky readers to win a pair of tickets, worth £20, to any of the weekday shows.

Just tell us: Where is the British International Motor Show taking place?

See below for entry details.

CSI DVD and Xbox 360 game The team are back and Latest 7 have joined up with Momentum Pictures to offer readers a very special prize; the newly released CSI: Miami 5.1 DVD and CSI: Hard Evidence Xbox 360 game.

A fantastic three-disc set featuring all the action from the explosive fourth series set in Miami, this is a must-have for fans of the show. Things kicks off with one of the most exciting backdrops ever filmed in the series. Horatio Caine and Erik Delko jet off to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, to seek revenge for the murder of Marisol Delko Caine. Before they leave Brazil, characters living on each side of the law will die, and the drug lord’s business will continue in Miami putting someone’s life in jeopardy.

When you’ve watched the DVD, put on the game and become a member of the CSI team yourself, solving cases in a fantastic interactive adventure.

To be in with a chance of winning this special CSI prize, tell us: Where does the start of this new series take place? See below for entry details.

Entrants must be aged 15 or over.

To be in with a chance of winning, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the title of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 21 July 2008.

8 latest 7

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KATIE’SCOLUMN

See more at latest7.co.uk

What Katie did Katie gets wistful on a trip to the seaside and wonders if she made the right choice

Don’t look back This weekend I did a very stupid thing. I came back to Brighton.

It’s over a year since I left the seaside for the city and in most of that time I’ve avoided coming back. All the while cleverly telling myself there was nothing to miss.

I left my job, ditched my boy, stopped calling my friends and – like Dick Whittington in a pair of red Kurt Geiger’s – slipped off on the train to Victoria to start a new life.

It was, I told myself, the best thing to do. I love London. I live London.

I love London. I muttered mantra-style on the first few lonely nights.

Repeating it in desperation as the nights turned to days, weeks and months.

At first it was lonely. Then it got lonelier, but bit by bit the work came in and I found a reason to stay.

I started freelancing around the papers and as the work came together so did the other things that make you feel like you kind of belong: friends, flatmate, corner shop, 24-hour booze supplier. The months ticked by and the mantra turned form a hopeful fantasy into my life. I did love London. It rocked.

I got used to jumping on a tube and in 20 minutes finding myself in the Tate. I bought an Oyster card, joined a members club, got mugged, spent some nights drinking espresso martinis at The Groucho Club bar, invested in a handbag worth a month’s salary and before I knew it I was one of the gang.

I clip-clopped my way across the city from Shoreditch house to The Albert Hall, shopped in Selfridges, sunbathed in Hyde Park, danced my ass off in Fabric and grabbed a snack at the 24-hour bagel bakery on Brick Lane, before walking past the White Cube on my way home to Hoxton Square.

I found a little group – made of up of old school friends, colleagues, clubbers, and Brighton ex-pats – and found a niche in a city that became more village-like by the day.

It was all going so smoothly until one city-dweller offered the immortal words “let’s go to Brighton“.

A tube, a train and a short taxi ride to the beach, and one cold beer later, sitting in front of the Brighton Coalition, the illusion fell apart. And I wondered why the hell I’d ever decided to leave.

“It was lonely. Then it got lonelier, but bit by bit the work came in and I found a reason to stay”

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: letters@thelatest.co.uk

latestcrossword Cryptic 151 ACROSS 7 Make garden feature go paler (7) 8 Project new value (5) 9 Moulded metal obtained from being at home (5) 10 First aid equipment for when musicians get old (7) 11 Instrument in a first performance (10) 14 Means of spreading principles formed by Papa Dragon (10) 17 Drink part of oblique urn’s contents (7) 19 Administer medicine as a free drink (5) 20 One of a pair with the way to make thread (5) 21 Some money with which to make progress (7)

solutions on page 36

Quick 151 DOWN 1 Ship also constructed for bandit (7) 2 Shoes causing complaint for those who spurn them? (8) 3 Animal in the square with religious man on it (6) 4 School’s rising worthiness (4) 5 Creature of habit (5) 6 Love pudding and offal! (10) 9 Pub finished? Quite the opposite (10) 12 Lacking enthusiasm and image (8) 13 Girl holding the number used for reception (7) 15 Entrance of harbour has no end of alluvial trouble (6) 16 Seafood at a shilling a pound (5) 18 Vessel for getting sheep over river (4)

ACROSS 7 Wailing fairy (7) 8 River (5) 9 Aptitude (5) 10 Cavity infection (7) 11 Skilfulness (10) 14 Increase speed (10) 17 Copy (7) 19 Walk stiffly (5) 20 Speak (5) 21 Sincere (7).

DOWN 1 Sad (7) 2 Angelic (8) 3 Enumerate (6) 4 Plant (4) 5 Asian beast (5) 6 Tenacious (10) 9 Imaginary (10) 12 Riches (8) 13 Fence (7) 15 Number (6) 16 Song (5) 18 Distinctive character (4).

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RHYME

Eminemmylou Hi, I’m Eminemmylou, throwin’ lyrics at you.

This week with Heinrich Heine Why the Roses are so Pale Dearest, canst thou tell me why The rose should be so pale?

And why the azure violet Should wither in the vale?

And why the lark should in the cloud So sorrowfully sing?

And why from loveliest balsam-buds A scent of death should spring?

And why the sun upon the mead So chillingly should frown?

And why the earth should, like a grave, Be mouldering and brown?

And why it is that I myself So languishing should be?

And why it is, my heart of hearts, That thou forsakest me?

This English translation of ‘Why the Roses are so Pale’ was composed by Richard Garnett (1835–1906).

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk For more rhymes check out myspace.com/eminemmylou

EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani considers the deaths of British service personnel and wonders if anything can be worth such a price For my column this week I had wanted to simply print a list of all the British servicemen and women killed in Iraq. But I couldn’t find an up-todate list.

I’m having a hard time working out what is more poignant: the fact that I wanted to print the list or the fact that it is so hard to find? The reason I wanted to print the list was because I thought it was strange that we only ever really hear about the milestone deaths.

It would only be the momentous number whose relatives pop up on GMTV, the first woman casualty’s face splashed across all the newspapers.

Her family telling the world how amazing she was. What a wonderful wife, daughter, sister, cousin and friend. But the thing is, every person who has lost their life fighting some pointless war would have been a son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father, husband, wife or friend.

The one hundredth soldier killed is just as important as the twelfth.

I feel slightly ashamed to say that I do not know the names of the servicemen who have died. But to be perfectly honest I don’t think anyone does, and in all seriousness I think you would be classed as slightly odd if you did.

“I do not agree with this war. I wouldn’t agree with any war. Violence doesn’t solve problems” But I am ashamed to belong to a country whose newspapers and chat shows generally only tell you about those whose names carry extra weight behind them either because of who they are or when they died.

And if you think about it for long enough, you only really hear about the deaths if it means the media can have a go at the military. If there is any possibility that it was an accident on the part of our government or the military then you will hear about it. But the thing is, this whole war is an accident on the part of the government.

I do not agree with this war. I wouldn’t agree with any war. Violence does not solve problems, it just kills people. I am scared at the idea that one day I might have children and that they will have to witness this. Or even worse, be the ones to clean up this mess.

There is not one reason anyone could give me that would justify this war, but there are 100 reasons to put against it. There are enough things wrong with this planet, so why are we all so keen to add another log to the fire? We are fighting for everything but the one thing that matters.

Because no matter how much we fight and no matter how many people die, we are forgetting that it will all be pointless. How great will it be to be able to say we won a war on a dead planet. The biggest war we will have to fight will be with ourselves.

I know I am not the only person who thinks like this. I know that nearly every person I meet will have the same views. And it worries me that it wouldn’t matter how many people say no; there is always one person who gets to decide yes.

For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk Collection/delivery ordering service for

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AROUNDTOWN

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

sponsored by If that has given you a yearning to go to listen to some fab music outdoors, then make sure you get a ticket for this year’s Big Beach Boutique, taking place on Madeira Drive on Saturday 27 September.

Remember all you need is a BN postcode to be able to buy a ticket, which are available from the Brighton Dome Box office and online at www.ticketmaster.co.uk and www.ticketline.co.uk.

My, my! My Hotel!

New hotel on the block, My Hotel, held its official launch last Friday along with its on-site restaurant Zilli Brasserie. No expense was spared as fire breathers entertained the guests, drinks flowed freely and the brasserie offered a selection of tasty dishes from the menu.

Attending alongside the eponymous Mr Zilli were a trio of current or past EastEnders stars: Brighton’s own Patsy Palmer; soon-to-be exRottingdean resident Sid Owen; and frequent visitor to Brighton, Michelle Collins. Jodie Harsh, who looked fabulous, also put in an appearance at the DJ booth spinning tunes for the crowd. The bar at the hotel is truly fantastic. It might become my new favourite haunt!

Denise Van Brighton and Hove

Brighton-bury Our beloved city takes over Glastonbury as local acts rock the festival So after all the hype, pre-registration, lack of ticket sales and furore over Jay-Z, Glastonbury has now been and gone for another year.

Sadly I couldn’t make it down this year, but Brighton was very well represented at Glastonbury ‘08. Performing on the John Peel Stage was Brighton garage rock duo, Blood Red Shoes. Apparently the Shoes really rocked the stage.

Also playing the John Peel Stage was another Brighton band, British Sea Power. The band appeared with a number of guests, including a choir, and attempted to claim the record for the most collaborators on stage at this year’s festival. If you missed BSP at Glastonbury, you can catch them later this year at the Brighton Corn Exchange. Finally, Brighton’s favourite superstar DJ, Fatboy Slim, aka Mr Norman Cook, headlined on the Dance East Stage on Friday night. I’ve seen Norman playing Glastonbury before and I know how brilliant he is at getting everyone in the party mood.

Luckily for me I’m going to experience Norman playing the O2 Wireless Festival in Hyde Park this weekend, so check out the column next week for my report from backstage where reports tell me to expect the Geldof sisters, Peaches and Pixie, Take That’s Mark Owen, Steve Jones and Fern Cotton among many others.

A little bird has told me that Denise Van Outen has brought a new weekend retreat in Hove to add to her properties in LA and Hampstead Heath. Denise is currently filming a new game show with Ben Shepherd called Who Dares, Sings.

The karaoke-themed show invites a 100strong audience to compete against each other in a big karaoke-off for the chance to win a prize of £50,000. I hope that Denise takes to the mic to give us a tune during the show!

Gok Wan-derful news As you know, all the girls love Gok, and I hear that every woman’s favourite fashion guru is rumoured to be looking at flats in Brighton and Hove.

Gok Wan has been spotted in Brighton quite a lot recently filming various TV slots and apparently he’s fallen in love with our lovely city, so let’s hope he makes it a permanent fixture.

If you need to be shown around the hot spots Gok, give me a call…

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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ONLY JOKING!

See more at latest7.co.uk

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Ten things to do while waiting for the 81 bus 1 Read Anna Karenina from cover to cover 2 Slow cook a boeuf bourguignon 3 Contemplate suicide 4 Write a musical about Fred Basset, send it off to Cameron Mackintosh, and receive a reply saying that, although he quite liked it, he doesn’t think it’s quite right for the current West End climate 5 Improvise a chess set from the contents of your pockets and replay all Spassky’s championship games between 1961 and 1985 6 Translate the poems of RS Thomas into Portuguese, and then back into English 7 Commit suicide 8 Form a close-harmony group with the other people in the queue and sing ‘Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg’ unaccompanied 9 Swear 10 Compile a somewhat laboured satirical item for your humorous column in a local property magazine

In & Out IN

OUT

• Mondeo man

• Worcester woman

• RI:SE

• Mars in the fridge

• Naming a comical Middle Eastern character on some feeble pun, such as ‘Mustapha Fortune’

• Scud missiles

• Smart bombs

• Naming a comical Middle Eastern character on some feeble pun, such as ‘Sheik Yerbuti’

• Derek Hatton

• Bernie Grant

Astral Angi ★Finding truth in the stars★

A local poet writes…

Retired gasfitter and local bard Ron Outhouse, 69, presents another poem written specially for Bare Cheek.

Ron’s self-published poetry collections, All The Snapdragons Are Dead, Pardon Me While I Do Go On, and They Should Bring Back National Service In My Opinion are all available from Brighton bookshops. He is a regular (and lively!) contributor to many local newspaper letters pages and radio phone-in programmes.

An open reply to Mr Ken ‘Red Ken’ Livingstone after his remarks concerning the pedestrianisation of Brighton A chap called Ken has argued That Brighton should be free Of cars, and trucks, and lorries.

No vehicles should we see That people – men and women – Should then most freely roam ‘Cross all our roads and pathways And call the streets their home.

Well, pardon, please, my frankness, But I just don’t agree.

What about all us drivers, Ken? Yes, Ken – what about me?

You stuffed them up in London Where you were elected Mayor, But to try and stuff us here as well Hardly seems very fair.

And all across the country The ghastly shadows loom Of congestion charging. Who’s to blame?

Mr. Livingstone, I presume.

Well, if you don’t like the way we do things here Might I suggest you leave And go and live in Russia – Not one of us will grieve.

And take your mates all with you – Especially all them ( – The rest of the poem has been censored due to extreme racism, incitement to both murder and arson, possibly illegal homophobia, and gross personal libel against Graham Norton.)

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

Omnivore Aries is meat crazy, sees meat and can’t help but pop it straight in. Vegetarian Aries is much the same but it’s not so much fun with a carrot or a cucumber is it?

Ideally made for the Cancerian diet is the crab stick. It has about as much to do with the tasty crustacean as Gary Glitter has to do with Childline. Both should be avoided at all costs.

Pulses and legumes for you my dears, avoid red meat, offal and rich sauces.

Humus is the key to your diet but remember to stock up immediately on charcoal biscuits.

A passion for a bargain could get you in trouble this week. Lurking around the reduced bins at the supermarket may save the odd copper, but do you really want to eat what no-one else wanted.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Taurus is less beefy than one might expect. All bully bravado outside but show them steaks and they’re running for the tofu. Tackle the tartare and embrace the cannibal in you.

Offal, offal and more offal – brace yourselves for a diet of kidneys, liver, spleen, pituitary gland, lungs, udders, testicles, brains and any other bits and bobs – take heart.

You can claim to a be a gourmet all you like but to the rest of us you are just plain dirty. If God had wanted us to eat chocolate-covered ants he would have taken the bones out.

Lotus eaters to a person, Aquarians everywhere believe that their diet is the diet of the gods. They can, however, usually be found hiding in Betta Burger or Cock-U-Like.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Geminis should search for a Jack and Jill Spratt scenario when it comes to food. Faddy just doesn’t cover it so look out for a counterpart who will take the fat times to your lean ones.

Virgo is the sign of eating disorders.

Faddy eaters and those who have selfdiagnosed allergies and intolerances.

Intolerances, indeed. If you think I am putting up with those you are wrong.

Your diet is of little consequence as by now you are probably putting everything through a blender and leaving your teeth by the bed. Top tip: clean dentures in the dishwasher.

For Pisces diet is a load of old pollacks – how eco-friendly is that.

Watch them shoaling toward Bardsley’s and see them adjusting their codpieces.

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latest news No nonsense, just news. Send your stories to: news@thelatest.co.uk

Rachel Pegg investigates proposals to turn Falmer High School into a city academy

Academy action Parents, teachers and political groups have pledged to continue fighting plans to turn Falmer High School into a city academy.

Activists are lobbying the council to hold a ballot and let parents decide whether their children should go to a school with a corporate sponsor.

For some, Brighton and Hove City Council's plans to transform Falmer in 2010 are a chance for a sometimes sidelined school to receive up to £30million to improve facilities and opportunities. But others think it is a form of privatisation which would hand over crucial decisions to a businessman with no experience as an educationalist.

The results of an informal consultation will be considered by the council's cabinet this Thursday (10 July). The Green Party, which organised a public meeting last week, has been vocal in its opposition.

Rachel Fryer, Green councillor for children and young people, said the group was concerned too much power would be given to the school's sponsor, Rod Aldridge.

‘‘If the sponsor wants to improve things, he should give the money to professional educators’’ She said Mr Aldridge, founder of outsourcing firm Capita, would have the power to appoint governors who in turn would appoint the principal.

The sponsor would also be able to set teachers' contracts. Cllr Fryer said: “Staff pay and conditions are only going to be protected for a few years and new teachers coming into the school won't be protected at all.“ Cllr Fryer said there were concerns about what would happen to the Swan Centre, Falmer's special needs unit. “The school is currently meeting special-needs demands very well. There are a lot of good things going on. Local community groups are using the building at the moment.“ She added that most of the money was being spent on new premises rather than delivering education. “It isn't investment in schools. It is investment in school buildings.“ Linda Newman, school governor and former Falmer pupil, said when she became a governor the school was failing. That has been turned around and it is now outstanding, despite its 1950s buildings. She criticised the city academy system for a “lack of accountability and control“ and worried what might happen if Mr Aldridge left and was replaced by someone else, perhaps with a faith agenda.

She also worried that most academy schools had a business focus.

Falmer would specialise in entrepreneurship and sport, with Brighton and Hove Albion Football Club as a partner. Ms Newman said: “If your child happens to develop a talent through their teens in the arts, theatre or music, how is that going to be developed by an academy?

“If the sponsor wants to improve things, I think he should give the money to the professional educators, educators who know how to use the money.“ Alistair Smith, of the Anti Academies Alliance, called the scheme a “Trojan horse for privatisation“. He said: “Why does a millionaire philanthropist want to run a school? I have no problem with businessmen making donations to schools. There is no problem with the idea of a partnership even. Businesses have often helped with work experience.

“It is a totally different matter for a businessman to take control of a school or to control the curriculum. It takes the school outside the local family of schools and the comprehensive system and democratic education system.“ Education councillor Vanessa Brown said she was not at the meeting because the council hosted its own public meeting last month. She told Latest 7: “The sponsor is a very genuine sort of guy. He's really only interested in helping disadvantaged children. He's set up his own education foundation trust. He grew up in Portslade and he genuinely wants to help.“ Asked what might happen if Mr Aldridge decided to leave, Cllr Brown said: “He's committed to this project. He's not going to walk away.

Although he's the sponsor and he does put in a certain amount of money, most of it comes from DCSF (the Department for Children, Schools and Families). We are still working closely with the school.“ She said if Mr Aldridge did end his relationship with the school it would be taken back into local authority control.

“He has agreed to keep the same admissions process as we have in the rest of the city. We are getting £26million from the Government to build a new school for the people in that catchment area. He is dealing very closely with the local authority so we don't have any concerns.

“The Swan Centre will not be affected. He's perfectly happy to keep the Special Needs Unit there and it will still be there as it is now.“ There will be a formal consultation, but no referendum. “We are very excited. We think it could be so good for the young people and for the community.”

Brighton and Hove City Council cabinet meeting, Hove Town Hall, Thurs 10 July, 4pm.

(l-r) Alistair Smith, Ben Duncan, Green prospective Parliamentary candidate for Kemp Town, Rachel Fryer and Linda Newman latest 7 13

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LATESTNEWS

news summary

7 days of headlines

Council workers are preparing to strike next week. Unison, the public sector workers' union, is planning national stoppages on Wednesday and Thursday, 16 and 17 July. Brighton and Hove City Council said some schools would close and other services will be disrupted but plans were being put in place to protect essential services such as social care.

Anita Roddick's daughters unveiled a blue plaque for their mother at the site of her first shop. The Body Shop opened in Kensington Gardens, Brighton in March 1976.

The plaque was funded by longterm family friend and business colleague Vida Zandnia, who attended the ceremony along with Dame Anita's husband Gordon.

Eviction Squatters were evicted after occupying a disused Brighton church for nearly three months.

Twenty people were turfed out of London Road Methodist Church by bailiffs on Thursday morning at 7am (3 July).

The operation was supported by dozens of police officers, who stopped anyone going back in.

While outside, squatters taunted police officers, goose stepping and shouting “Schnell“ A police spokeswoman said two people were arrested under section 10 of the Criminal Law Act 1997 for obstructing court officials. She said: “We were just there to support the high court bailiffs and prevent a breach of the peace."

Squatters complained the operation was heavy handed.

Michelle Brown, 30, said she was manhandled out of her bed wearing only knickers.

She said the group had been trying to put the building to a worthwhile use.

“We have tried to do good. We put on fundraisers here and tried it make a centre for the community.“ A spokesman for the Methodist Church said it would be up to the local Methodists to decide what to do with the building. He said: “It is important we have proper possession of our buildings in order to make best use of them for the community and to serve the congregation.“

latest 7

NEWS

Police appealed for witnesses to a serious assault in Preston Street, Brighton. A man needed 64 stitches following the attack at about 12.30am on Saturday 28 June.

The suspect is white, in his mid 30s and was wearing a long sleeved V-neck top. Contact DS Steve French on 0845 6070999 or call Crimestoppers on 0800 555111.

King Alfred on hold The King Alfred scheme has been put on hold and could be scrapped completely.

Developer Karis announced last week it has put on hold plans to create the daring design by architect Frank Gehry.

The £300million proposals included 475 apartments, 276 ‘affordable homes‘ and leisure and community facilities.

Josh Arghiros, managing director of Karis Developments, told Latest 7 it was unsure, in the current economic climate, whether the proposals could go ahead.

He said: “It is going to be another three weeks before the viability review is completed.

“Given the market at the moment, every major scheme that contains elements of commercial and residential development is being looked at.“

Coldean gets new library Coldean’s brand new library has opened its doors to the public.

Around twice the size of the old building, the new facility in Beatty Avenue has free internet, over 20 computers (in a plush IT suite) and a bigger collection of books and DVDs. There are also hi-tech selfservice terminals, like those at Jubilee and Hove libraries, a special children’s area and meeting rooms. Youngsters from Coldean Youth Project took part in a hip-hop display at a special opening event, which also included ‘Baby Boogie‘ music and rhyme sessions for babies and toddlers, and displays from residents.

The library is part of a £700,000 development by Hanover Housing in partnership with the Housing Corporation and Brighton and Hove City Council.

14 latest 7

The ground floor of the building houses the library itself, whilst above there are six new care flats. The flats are being sold as shared-ownership homes aimed at people over 55 who would benefit from living in extra care housing. The accommodation benefits from being opposite the New Larchwood extra-care development for older people and the flats’ occupants will be able to use its facilities, which include a range of community facilities as well as an on-site care and support team.

Cabinet Member for Culture Councillor David Smith said: “One of our priorities is getting everyone included in the benefits we’re bringing to the city. This is a superb facility that will become a centre of learning,

entertainment and social activity for the people of Coldean.”

Opening hours: Monday 9-1 and 2-5, Thursday 9-1 and 2-7; Saturday 10-1.

Call 01273 296902.

www.citylibraries.info.

For further information regarding the flats, contact Hanover Housing on 0870 600 3074

If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk

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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills investigates claims that not enough children in Brighton and Hove are visiting the city’s beaches

A sea view?

Not in Brighton latest 7

NEWS

Some children have never seen the sea, even though they live only yards from it.

The discovery has shocked Brighton and Hove city councillors and they are now urging families: “Get your children down to the beach”.

Some children living less than half a mile from the shore said they had only ever seen the sea on TV. The revelation was discovered by artist Lou McCurdy during a series of workshops on plastic pollution of the oceans at primary schools in the city.

She said: “Nowhere in the country is more than 70 miles from the coast and the sea is right on Brighton’s doorstep.

“It appears the sea is taken for granted because people live so close to it“ “Yet quite a lot of the children I have spoken to said they had never seen it.

“It appears the sea is taken for granted because they live so close to it.

“Families know it’s there so they don’t feel the need to see it for themselves.”

Councillor Vanessa Brown, the city council’s education cabinet member, said she was surprised:

Mystery caller An anonymous caller may hold vital clues to solving a 22-year-old double-murder mystery.

Nigel Heffron, the uncle of one of two schoolgirls strangled in Brighton’s Wild Park in Moulsecoomb in 1986 told Latest 7 how he recently received a voice mail telephone message from a man who said he was at the scene on the day his niece Nicola Fellows and her friend Karen Hadaway died.

No-one has been brought to justice for the killings.

Karen Hadaway Mr Heffron said: “The man said he was with others in the park at the time and that he had information.

“He left nothing to say who he was or how he could be reached.

I’ve handed the tape to Sussex Police in the hope they will publicise it on radio and TV – someone may recognise the voice.”

But a spokesman for the force said: “We have followed up on this information but there is nothing to report at this stage – we do not see this as having huge significance.”

Mr Heffron appealed to the mystery caller or anyone who knows him to come forward.

“I find it difficult to understand – you can’t miss the sea in Brighton and Hove. I’m looking out of my window now and, there it is.

“A lot of schools take parties of children to the beach and when I was teaching we would go to rock pools and collect shells.

“I intend bringing this issue up now when I go round schools and, in the meantime, I would urge parents and guardians to take their children to the beaches.”

Ms McCurdy ran one-day workshops entitled ‘More Plastic than Plankton’ to highlight the damage caused by the seven billion tonnes of plastic which are dropped into the oceans every year.

Plastic rubbish in the sea and on beaches has become a major environmental issue and Brighton children got involved through the workshops.

As part of the focus on eliminating plastic bags and unnecessary waste, and the council’s Clean City, Clean Sea campaign, the roadshow ‘More Plastic than Plankton’ featured at five local primary schools.

This gave pupils an opportunity to make artworks with plastic collected from the beach.

Local film-maker Fiona Adams helped students to animate their artwork using a computer animation programme.

The film may be shown later this year at the Duke of York’s cinema.

The environment art and animation workshops highlight the damaging effects plastic debris has on the seas and marine life.

Sweet tooth ‘Send our troops sweets’, was the message from the Sussex policeman father of paratrooper Daniel Gamble, 22, who was killed by a suicide bomber in Southern Afghanistan earlier this month.

PC Paul Gamble said: “On the front line, all they have is their rations. We had been sending food packs to Daniel.

“A bag of sweets is just brilliant.”

More than 1,000 people lined the streets of the family’s home town of Uckfield, East Sussex, for the 22-year-old’s funeral.

PC Gamble and his wife Georgina helped launch ‘Parcels for Paras’ within the Sussex force to send troops food, drink, sun lotion and socks.

PC Gamble said: “Others will gain from Daniel’s death, which is what he would have wanted.”

Daniel Gamble

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LATESTSPORT

Letters

Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk

Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker

Going for gold Jenny Bliss gets on her running spikes and feels the burn down at Withdean running track

Guide leader appeal Did you know that one in four eight-year-olds are Brownies? And, that Rainbows celebrated their 21st birthday this year? Perhaps you remember your time as a Rainbow, Brownie or Guide, and consider it as part of your growing up. Unfortunately some youngsters in Sussex are missing out on this experience because there aren’t enough adult volunteers.

In Sussex there are over 1,200 girls waiting to join the Rainbows, Brownies and Guides. In the Guiding county of Sussex East we have 454 girls waiting to join. Some ways in which we have been able to reduce this number is by offering leaders a flexible approach to meeting times, job sharing and daytime, mid-week training for new Leaders. This is already beginning to have its benefits for the county and as a result in some parts of Sussex East new units have opened and waiting-to-join lists have been reduced. We need to encourage new volunteer adult leaders to come forward so we can open more units and continue to offer the wonderful experience of ‘guiding’ to a wider community.

There is a Rainbow, Brownie or Guide group near you which would love your help; it doesn't need to be a regular commitment. If you’re interested in getting involved get in touch: www.girlguiding.org.uk or call 0800 1 695901 Helen Osborne, Sussex East Guider

Conspiracy theory, anyone?

Is it me or does anyone else suspect that the current high fuel and food prices are a conspiracy by Western governments to tackle obesity by pricing people out of their cars and out of the junk food aisles? Parents, the health service and governments have failed to tackle the growing problem of widening waistlines.

According to experts, our children are in the gravest of danger from the obesity threat and they will be the first generation to be buried by their parents due to poor health caused by obesity. Our little princes and princesses get prime parking spaces in front of the supermarkets in the mother and ‘waddler’ bays because it’s just too far to walk across the car park, we complain that healthy food costs too much and that our kids can’t get exercise outside because perverts lurk on every corner.

Instead we kill our kids slowly with kindness, keeping them close to us at home, comforted by computer games offering virtual fitness, we give them unlimited access to a world of unimaginable vileness via the internet, often from the comfort of their bedrooms while feeding them a diet of salt and fat.

So perhaps the Western governments, realising that the health warnings were being drowned out by powerful global marketing messages from the food and entertainment industries, got together and pulled the plug on cheap fuel and food, forcing us out of our cars and out of the junk food aisles. I’ve lost almost a stone in less than a month without the car and without my weekly two litres of cola, so the conspiracy may already be paying off.

Charles Mann, Fiveways, Brighton

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

16 latest 7

Since giving up competitive athletics in my teens it’s been an ongoing battle between the lure of alcohol and late nights and a nagging voice telling me I could still be a champion runner. My latest attempt seems to have been the most successful. It began two years ago, in my first week of university, when I gingerly took to the treadmill. Previously, I’d been good at sprinting, but a few years of student wasting had transformed me from a muscular child into a slightly-scrawny adult, so I was surprised how easy I found it to run for a reasonable length of time. To begin with I confined myself to running on the treadmill but my competitive spirit couldn’t be curbed and I succumbed to entering a charity 5km.

A guy at the gym suggested I join a running group; I thought I’d give it a go. I was welcomed warmly by Sam Lambourne who runs two groups on Tuesday evening down at Withdean Stadium. I chose to join a ramshackle group of all ages and abilities but all nonetheless cheerful about the physical torture we were about to put ourselves through. I certainly was not prepared for what it felt like to really train. Dragging my body through a gruelling 6km session was a far cry from my usual half hour on the treadmill It might seem unnecessary to join a group just to run and there is relatively little advertising about club nights and groups can appear uninviting. Ignore your first impressions and get involved. I may have only been to two training sessions but this time I feel inspired!

For further information on long/middle distance training contact Sam Lambourne at The Jog Shop on 01273 675717. Alternatively training sessions run every Tuesday evening from 7.30pm at Withdean Sports Complex, Tongdean Lane, Brighton. Newcomers are always welcome.

Local races this July Thursday 10 July Hove Park 5km series. 7pm. Entry £5 in advance/ £7 on the day.

Contact: Simon Taylor 020 7014 9355 simon.taylor@sense.org.uk Sunday 27 July Downland Running Festival 5 and 30 mile races. Clayton playing fields, 9am 30miles/11am 5miles. Entry for both races £7 club members/ £9 non-members/ £2 extra for entry on the day. Maximum entries for both races 350. Contact: Ray Smith 01444 484427

Charity cricket match Put your whites on and get yourselves down to Palmers Cricket Club at Hove Recreation Park this Thursday evening for a Twenty/20 game of cricket with Sussex County Cricket star Robin Martin Jenkins.

With entertainment before and after the match, the two mixed teams will be helping to raise money as part of the Robin Martin Jenkins benefit year which will go towards the development of youth cricket in the area. How’s that!

Thursday 10 July, 5.30pm–8.30pm. Check out www.palmerscricket.co.uk for information.

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Model city Sandra Omo is paralysed by guilt and ashamed of her inability to calm down

Over compensating?

Zara Baker wonders if food supplements are really the best way to maintain a healthy lifestyle

latest

Are supplements the way forward in modern day? Health shops and chemists inundate the market with capsules and drinks to replace areas our diet may be lacking. But while it is easy to pop a vitamin pill each morning, it’s important not to let these permanently replace our foods and equally important not to overdose.

Let’s take Vitamin C, the most popular vitamin health supplement on the market. If we start to feel run down or know a cold is on its way, we take a Vitamin C tablet to help boost our immune system. The vitamin helps fight against disease and releases toxins from the body. However, we only need around 500mg to 1000mg each day, with common supplements containing 1000mg. If you exceed this or eat a substantial amount of your five-a-day fruit and veg as well, then you may be taking too much. High levels of Vitamin C can lead to chronic copper deficiency.

The best thing we can do for our health is the simplest rule we always hear: eat sensibly. Yet, it’s not always simple to do, which is where supplements come in useful. Just don’t overdo it, like with Vitamin C. Some of us need food supplements to fill gaps in our diet we may be lacking in. Vegetarians, for example, may need an iron supplement. We need the mineral iron for the production of red blood cells. If someone has an iron deficiency, there is not enough red blood cells being produced to maintain good health, which can lead to anaemia. Red meat and shellfish are the best sources of iron. For vegetarians, a diet should include plenty of nuts, seeds and green leafy vegetables to make up a sufficient intake of iron.

Consult with your doctor first before taking any supplements as they may not be suitable. Iron supplements are not recommended for children as it can lead to poisoning. It’s a case of selecting supplements carefully and not taking everything under the sun just because it’s readily available. Calcium is another example. It’s beneficial for younger children whose bones are forming and for the elderly to prevent osteoporosis.

Omega-3 is another popular supplement. It’s an essential fatty acid that is not produced by the body and is found largely in oily fish. A bit of a problem if you’re not a fan of fish, but Omega-3 tablets can help improve the immune function. Omega-3 is also important for children, and can help improve concentration and prevent ADHD. Most importantly of all, treat supplements as a way to make your diet complete and not as a full-time food replacement.

wave

Reach over 100,000 health-conscious readers across London and the Southeast with Wave, the region’s only free mind, body and soul monthly.

To advertise call Lucy Kamper on

01273 818160 If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

I had the worst day of my career – so far – this week. I call it the worst because it was self-inflicted and the guilt that followed was paralysing.

As I write, I am still lecturing myself that I have no right blaming myself, after all, things happen. However, the moment I think of the opportunity I missed that day, I wished it had not happened.

I had made it into the final audition advert for this huge car company.

Even though I was out of town at the time I knew I could not miss this casting because the opportunity to be a major character in a major car company’s television commercial, coupled with the huge pay (I am talking thousands) was very tempting. I was glad to cut my trip short for it.

As I made my way back to London my expectations were high because I knew I had a good chance of landing the job. In addition, the fact that there were six major characters to be picked for the commercial made it all the more hopeful. Other than that I had gone through the program for the audition and the main requirements were strong looks and a very strong walk as the commercial included a cat walk on the motorway side-by-side with the car. The fact there was a catwalk involved sealed the deal for me because I know my walk can get me any job – I am that confident.

“Damn! I could not believe it. Suddenly, my whole confidence dropped and I could only feel worry” I arrived at the casting quite early, but the room was almost full. There were models from every well-known agency in London.

How did I know?

Well the name of a model’s agency is usually written at the front or the corner edge of the model’s portfolio. It was not difficult for me to locate other models from my agency as their portfolio covers pointed them out.

Halfway through talking, I reached into my bag for my book, so we could compare some pictures, but it was not there.

The first thought that came to my mind was the impossibility of it; how can I not have my book with me? I travelled with it so it ought to be in my bag. As I reached back into my bag the hundredth time, it dawned on me that I had left my book on the back seat of the car that drove me to the train station in the early hours.

Damn! I could not believe it. Suddenly, my whole confidence dropped and I could only feel worry and anger. Yes, a part of me was uncontrollably angry, while the other was guilt-ridden. I began to sweat, although there was air conditioning in the room. I knew I could not forgive myself if I went home, so I decided to wait.

When it got to my turn, I began my audition with apologies but the looks on the judges’ faces were not encouraging. When one of them finally spoke, they were the words I am not accustomed to hearing, “Thanks for coming Omo, but we don’t think you are right for this.” Me not right for a commercial? I could not have given a worse opinion about myself. As I walked out of the room, I knew it was not the fact that I had forgotten my book that cost me the job; rather it was the inability to compose myself afterwards. I know I could have pulled it off with or without my book, but the guilt, coupled with the anger, was so self-damaging that I just couldn’t pull it through – not good. latest 7 17

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FASHION

Looking hot

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Harriet Hoff goes in search of the perfect way to look good in the heat this summer ‘Tis the season of joy and sunshine. I’m inspired by the heat to head for the shops in search of the perfect beach look. From swim cossies to flip flops all the way to beach bangles and flowers in your hair, get hippy happy on the beach with some new beach clobber. Big girls – use kaftans to keep lumps and bumps budging in all the right places, skinny girls – get noticed and add curves with some vibrant colour and prints.

1 Get noticed with the on-trend metallic look with this metallic little bikini. £12, accessorize.

2 Skinny minis or girls with no curves – grab a noticable print to add shape. This French Connection swimmie will do the trick.

3 Big girls – streamline in this sexy Bond-girl all-inone. £8, Matalan.

4 Cover up in the midday sun or take a stroll in this lovely cross-stitch kaftan. £30, accessorize.

5 Keep your ice cream money in this stylish beach bag, available from French Connection.

6 Make sure toes are happy in the latest footwear for the beach or a trot into town. Gladiator sandals, £25, French Connection.

7 The sun will be at bay from your glorious summer locks under this floppy brim weave hat. £15, Next.

8 Last but not least, sunnies are the most important item for any beach babe. Retro shades, £45, French Connection.

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COVERSTORY

In the Loop Celebrating digital art and music Loop is back for its second year in Brighton The not-for-profit Loop Festival aims primarily to support innovation in arts and music via local and up-and-coming talent specialising in new and innovative electronic music and interactive multimedia art.

The artists and performers get to work alongside established acts and artists from the UK and around the world.

This one-day festival of digital music, art and multimedia was a huge success at its inaugural festival last year, and once again will be taking place right in the heart of Brighton, on Victoria Gardens and in the adjacent University of Brighton Grand Parade site.

This year there are four performance areas under the banner LoopLive featuring established acts, new and up-and-coming acts, New Young Pony Club

Four Tet

leftfield and experimental acts and acoustic acts. Some of the acts confirmed for this year are: Four Tet, New Young Pony Club, These New Puritans, Holy Fuck, Caribou, Cut Copy, Nostalgia 77, Adem, The Shoes and The Bays.

Loop won’t be stopping until the early hours though as LoopLate takes place at a number of venues around Brighton featuring the likes of the legendary Andy Weatherall, Longrange, Bonobo, TM Duke and Robert-Luis.

Loop is all about hearing and seeing performances; it’s about learning too and, to that end, the LoopLearn programme aims to get young people involved in digital art forms. The programme is running for 12 weeks prior to the festival itself and includes a series of free courses and workshops in various digital skills from DJing to film making. Some of the participants will then get the chance to perform on the day. There are also opportunities for young people to learn about event production via a three-month course, and there will be opportunities for experience on the day itself.

Loop, Saturday 16 August, Brighton. www.loopbrighton.com

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

Demi–loon Andrew Kay rusticates at The Half Moon in Plumpton

Life under canvas is one of my summer joys and although many think it is lunacy, I think it is one of the sanest things that I do each summer. Conveniently all my camping gear is stored in ready to go boxes. All I have to do is load up and set off, calling along the way for food and drink.

Practice has taught me that short drinks are more comfortable when sleeping in a tent, for fairly obvious reasons, so I often opt for a bottle of Dubonnet or port.

Camping is the key and so I seldom stray far: Worthing, Hastings and now Plumpton; where I discovered The Half Moon pub with a field out the back, where for £3 a head a night you can pitch up and pitch your tent. So I packed, pitched and piled into the pub.

Recently taken over by a Brighton-based company, The Half Moon has undergone a transformation. Gone are the carpets and air of olde-worlde gloom, now it’s all gone a bit Farrow & Ball – beige and grey but very nice too. The dining area, with a wall of glazed doors that open onto a tiered terrace, is very smart indeed.

Having the dog with me I decided to stay in the pub proper on night one and enjoyed a nice supper and an excellent bottle of rich red wine (I corked it and took the remains back to the tent for the following day). The next day I was joined by the girls, M & J, and we pottered all day in search of local food and good beer, before heading back to the pub for dinner.

“I had my eating head on... so as well as devouring a vast quantity of chocolate bars, biscuits and sweeties, I was still up for a pudding”

accompaniment was sauté potatoes.

We pointed it out and amongst profuse apologies a salad arrived.

M and I both chose slow-roasted belly pork, with mash and spring vegetables. It was good, and there was plenty of it too, no parsimony here. However, the promised Harvey’s ale onion chutney had to be asked for but once more, amidst profuse apologies, it was quickly fetched.

We drank copious amounts of very good Summer Solstice ale from the Dark Star brewery. An easy pint but one with a fair amount of kick, real ale rather than gimmick beer of the kind that now floods supermarket shelves in a flurry of seasonal gusto. All too many of those are simply light ales flavoured with fruit cordials, spice or herbs, sometimes all three. There is one that J particularly liked, until I pointed out that it tasted of sausages. She hasn’t drunk it since.

For some reason I had my eating head on this weekend, so as well as devouring a vast quantity of chocolate bars, biscuits and sweeties, I was still up for a pudding. I chose the home-made chocolate brownie with caramel sauce and vanilla ice cream at £4.95, and very good it was too, rich, dark, sticky – all you could hope for.

So forgiving a few minor errors we had a very good dinner that, despite our vast capacity for fine ales, did not break the bank. I was very torn as to whether or not to review this find as the site was so peaceful on day one, only me and my dog. It seemed a shame to break the spell. But on day two it filled up and it was also clear that it deserved a review for both the food and for the camping.

Facilities are basic, a tap and a field with use of the pub’s toilets when open were all that was promised, but on arrival I was shown to a static caravan with a toilet and a shower open 24 hours a day. Campers were also offered a 10 per cent discount on food in the pub, which, if you hit the menu hard, can delete your camping fee.

The atmosphere on the site was relaxed, a few people lit open fires and ruined perfectly good food in that way, dogs were welcome – as were kids– above all though was a marked absence of signs saying don’t do this and don’t do that – utter bliss!

The Half Moon, Ditchling Road, Plumpton, BN7 3AF, Call 01273 890253 www.halfmoonplumpton.com

They started with a good chicken liver pâté with red onion jam and melba toast. I had tried that when on a previous reccy and it was very good, despite the melba toast being somewhat rustic. I had also tried the local asparagus with soft boiled egg – that hit exactly the right spot.

This time I had a fillet of mackerel with a horseradish reduction. Once more delicious but there was a small problem. Small in that my starter was small, about a third of the size of the similarly priced pâté and to my reckoning containing nothing costing any more. So very tasty and well made, but a trifle parsimonious.

J moved on to a tomato and red pepper tarte tatin with salad leaves, a good idea and well executed except there was no red pepper and the

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LATESTHOTLIST

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latest hot

an extensive Anglo-French farmhouse cheeseboard. There is also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as tarte aux pommes and crème brulée. Enjoy the south-facing sun terrace with the brasserie lunch menu, Tuesday-Sunday 12-6pm, including croque madame, tarte a l’ognion, moules marinières and more. And with a delicious French Sunday roast, this is true entente cordiale.

196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty home-cooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list.

In the winter, a central open fire roars.

In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive.

Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter.

1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

Santiago Restaurant

Santiago Restaurant Nestled between the two piers, Santiago Restaurant offers quality food and friendly service in this fantastic location on Brighton beach. Occupying former fisherman’s arches and boasting three of the historic, original arched windows, the first floor indoor restaurant gives a cosy and intimate dining experience. Now serving an exciting new menu of modern European dishes with a Hispanic influence and delicious homemade desserts. On sunny days, enjoy watching the world go by while dining on their sun terrace overlooking the beach, or in the evening come and relax in the indoor restaurant where every table has a sea view.

143-144 Kings Road Arches, Brighton Beach 01273 710031 www.santiagorestaurant.biz

Terraces Restaurant Terraces Restaurant offers customers a relaxed approach to dining and hospitality.

The venue is now licensed for weddings and civil ceremonies. The function suite is available for parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, seasonal parties, formal dinners or product launches, even fashion shows. Whatever the occasion you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton waterfront.

Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life.

An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk

FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Relaxed

alfresco dining is available in the garden; a sunny afternoon could not be better spent.

Enjoy the ‘Early Frog’ from 6-7pm; a threecourse meal at £13.95 is really the best value for your money! The true character of this delightful restaurant comes hopping to life in the evenings, and the mouthwatering menu is a comprehensive choice of the finest French cuisine. Children and families always welcome.

119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com

Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new french patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart.

Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian.

For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.”

48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too!

Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders.

10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

L’Église L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic à la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like coq au vin and côte de bœuf for two. Locally sourced produce includes freshly caught fish of the day and

In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food.

From magnificent meze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must, as are the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari.

121 Western Road, Hove, 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

Meze Meze An authentic Greek restaurant serving traditional and modern specialities, including the ever popular meze. All achieved by using ingredients from a London importer and local fresh meat, fish and vegetables, lovingly prepared by Greek chef Kostas. An extensive wine list and fabulous ambience adds to the whole Greek experience.

168-170 South Street, Lancing, BN15 8AU, 01903 765333

INDIAN Chaula’s “The food of India, not just Indian food.”

New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes!

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London.

There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors,

To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150 latest 7 21

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LATESTHOTLIST including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

SPANISH La Tapa De Oro This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices, dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalada russe and great jamon serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party.

123 Western Road, Hove, 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee This premium takeaway next to Hove Station offers fantastic quality Thai food – to your door if you use the free local homedelivery service – or to take away if you are passing. You can eat in too, in the stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing.

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk

Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us.

Filled with stylish, genuine Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand. Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”!

165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com bookings@sabai.uk.com

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love for parties and celebrations because they always give the best of times. And why not, as this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet) This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and The Arrogant Frog

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See more at latest7.co.uk cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu, as well as freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. The only 100 per cent freshly pressed juice bar in Hove open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver!

86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389 www.revitalise-u.com

COFFEE SHOPS Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries.

A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’.

Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax.

Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. Mon-Fri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm.

Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent coffee shop, with great coffee made by highly trained baristas. They also have a fantastic range of fresh fruit smoothies, sandwiches, quiches and cakes all freshly made in store. Favourites include chocolate brownies, battenburg cake, pistachio and orange biscotti (gluten free) and spinach and sun dried tomato quiche with salad. Moksha is definitely not your usual high street café. Its spacious interior is decorated with the work of local artists and photographers and the specially placed lighting offers an ambience not found elsewhere. Moksha has easy access for disabled customers, is child friendly and with free Wi-Fi, it’s a must for anyone who wants the best that Brighton has to offer. Located opposite St Peter’s Church, only a five minute walk from Brighton Station.

Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton , 01273 248890 www.mokshacaffe.com

BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. To book your private party, reserve your guestlist or to run through some ideas please contact...

Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

is producing a special Gay Pride issue on 29 July. If you would like to advertise your business in this issue and reach over 120,000 readers, call Marie NOW on 818150

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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on

8–14 July

Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.latest7.co.uk Cult of Luna Falling somewhere between the drilling malevolence of fellow Swedes, Meshuggah, and the more accessible pomp of worldconquering Americans Tool, Cult of Luna take the best bits of prog, doom, math and even industrial metal to make an incredible, genuinely transcendent noise.

Where latest record Eternal Kingdom is ‘great’ on CD, it enters the realms of dark magnificence in the live field. Like an army band marching into a battle it cannot win, the sound of eight men burrowing to the many depths of despair isn’t quite like any other band. Tormented screams and churning guitar drag every willing soul in the room into this most beautiful of storms.

Concorde 2, 30 June ✌✌✌✌✌

Toots

point Toots threw his mic on the ground with frustration. An acoustic guitar caused more feedback mayhem, apart from that, it was spot on.

Concorde 2, 19 June ✌✌✌✌ Rob Burdick

Nick Aldwinckle

Toots and the Maytals A reggae legend was in town.

Toots have been going since the 60s, with a record 31 chart-topping hits in Jamaica, they once overshadowed Bob Marley.

Toots still has bags of energy and that distinctive voice is as powerful as ever. The band rattled through hit after hit finishing most tunes with a burst of high energy ska.

The sound engineer must have been having a bad night, at one

Yazoo

Yazoo Revival tours in the cynics mind can be seen as a pension for ageing rockers. But Yazoo certainly did us proud with a slick set of their few hits and much of the rest of their repertoire. Vince Clarke, on loan from Erasure (Andy Bell was in the audience) pressed all the right buttons, quite literally as he manned a couple of computers and a keyboard hardly any bigger than a stylophone.

Alison Moyet was – as ever – compelling, what a voice, although here somewhat held back by the simplicity of the material compared to her current repertoire. Add to this a great set and stunning visuals and all in all a great evening for the almost entirely grey-haired audience.

Brighton Centre, 15 June ✌✌✌✌ Off the Cuff What a great kick-off to a weekend celebrating improvisation in the city of Brighton and Hove.

From Wimbledon tennis and its soft drinks sponsor to a slide show documenting the ‘war in Crimea’ and its effects on Florence Nightingale, the Off the Cuff Collective weren’t short on imagination in reacting to the audience suggestions demanded at the beginning of each game.

Structured in a similar manner to Whose Line... with a collection of games and a round up of a hoedown at the end, it was a perfect way to shake off the troubles of a working week and kick back into the weekend.

Hare & Hounds, 27 June ✌✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Comic Boom Compere Jo Enright was on top form at this June’s Comic Boom, reducing much of the audience to hysterics before the first act. Lee Hume created a great opening connection, followed by the sardonic wit of Marie Vagen.

Londoner Amadeus Martin introduced politics and Felicity Ventom abundant good cheer. Robin Buckland was both hilarious and sweetly pretty, and Stuart Black from Bristol was simply brilliant, rocking the house. Topping the bill was Hal Cruttenden with a stonking set that left everyone weeping with laughter. When Comic Boom is on, there is nowhere else to be: it puts the world in a comedy nutshell.

Komedia, 26 June

✌✌✌✌✌

Kerry Herbert

Get the party started, win a free case of vodka page 34

Andrew Kay

The Anniversary Watch this 60s period black comedy from behind your seat, through your clenched fingers, find a comfort blanket to chew on, peek between your eyes as comic and all too true cringeworthy familial feuds play out: uncomfortable and incisive.

Exceptional performances from all the cast. Of course it all anchors on the leading mother figure who delivers and delivers. Her comic and icy cutting turns fire off with point blank deadly accuracy.

The pacing and delivery of this performance left me laughing out loud and reeling.

New Venture Theatre, 28 June ✌✌✌✌ Hugh McDowall

25 Stage Incisor present She Stoops to Conquer

26 Film Director Jean-Paul Salomé on his new film, plus all the listings

29 Kids & Events 15th Annual Garden weekend, plus art installation in school

29 Art Rising Styles Hip hop art

30 Comedy Mighty chat with Boosh

30 Books New author review

31 Music Rob Da Bank goes all Camp, plus listings

35 Clubs Floorplay’s back at Coalition, plus listings

36 Gay Will Tells on marriage, news and listings

38 Television Vicky likes Bonekickers, plus 7-days of scrumptious listings

For complete and comprehensive listings go to latest7.co.uk latest 7 23

joogle week one

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brighton’s sexiest music venue & late night cabaret bar

01273 687171 01273 571400

wednesday world music Taxim – Greek week with wednesdays The Kypreos Band 9 th

PARTIES

weddings, civil partnerships, birthdays… …for the funkiest parties call us and book the venue for free• •subject to conditions

EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY FROM 10.30PM

BOOM BOOM SALOON WHERE ANYTHING GOES!

£8/£6 – 8pm 10th

thursday the catalyst club

Dave Bramwell’s monthly salon a speak easy for the 21st century £8/£6 – 8pm 11th

photo: greg neate

friday the weekend starts here

Trudi Styles presents… the charismatic cross-dressing chanteuse £6 – 7pm prompt Zoe Lewis – blues, swing, latin – finger lickin’ good £9 – 9pm doors for 10pm

sunday roast ’n jazz 13th

new summer roast menu

with Ian Price tenor sax £10 incl sunday roast served 12.30 to 3.30pm 14th

nashville cat David Munyon with support from Nick Stuart. Country music with a slant towards the hippy-side of country! £8 – 8pm

monday the david bowie story

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND Brighton’s top music stars cover Bowie’s greatest hits £6/£4 – 8pm

coming soon…

OTB Soul Sat 19 July Total art and soul

"Britain's favourite Elvis Impersonator."

RadioReverb

This is Elvis Sex & the City Night Fri 25 july

FREE LATE NIGHT LIQUOR LOUNGE

Jim Devereaux is knicker waggingly good!!!

Bright ’n Queer Thu 31 July, two shows 7.30pm and 10pm Brighton Pride comedy benefit

check ebsite for fullouprrowgra mme

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STAGE

STAGELISTINGS From Tuesday 7 July to Monday 4 August BRIGHTON DOME

THE OLD MARKET, HOVE

01273 709709 www.brightondome.org The Dying Song • Fri 18 July, 8pm, £12.50/10

01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk She Stoops to Conquer • Please note this show takes place at St Ann’s Well Garden. Book through the Old Market box office. Wed 16–Sun 20 July and Wed 23–Sun 25 July, 7pm, £10/6 Streetfunk: Straight Up • Sun 20 July, 2pm and 6pm, £7/5

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Meredith Willson’s The Music Man American musical classic starring Brian Conley.

• Tue 8 July–30 August, please call venue for show times, £12–£36 Six Characters in Search of an Author Luigi Pirandello’s probing drama that blurs the border between fiction and life.

• Tue 8 July–23 August, please call for show times, £25

NEW VENTURE THEATRE 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Three Tall Women • Sat 19–Sat 26 July, please call for show times and prices.

NIGHTINGALE THEATRE EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Blood Brothers Linda Nolan stars in this tale about twin boys separated at birth.

• Tue 8–Sat 12 July, 7.30pm, Thu and Sat mat 2.30pm, £14.50–£28.50 The No 1 70s Show • Wed 16 July, 7.30pm, £15/14.50 Halfway to Paradise: the Billy Fury Story .

• Fri 18 July, 7.30pm, £16–£17 Copacabana • Wed 23 July–Sat 2 August, 8pm, Thu and Sat mat 2.30pm, £10–£14

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Come on, Jeeves. Victor Spinetti and Anita Harris star in this spiffing Wodehouse comedy.

• Mon 14–Sat 19 July, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Run For Your Wife • Mon 21–Sat 26 July, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Relatively Speaking • Mon 28 July–Sat 2 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Don’t Look Now • Mon 4–Sat 9 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50

01273 709709 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk Loveplay • Tue 15–Fri 18 July, 7.30pm, £8/6.50

THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Shout! Swinging 60s musical starring Claire Sweeney.

• Mon 7–Sat 12 July, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm mat Thu and Sat, £13–£25 Crown Matrimonial The crisis of when Edward VIII insisted he would marry the woman he loved. Patricia Routledge stars.

• Mon 14–Sat 19 July, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm mat Thu and Sat, £17–£27 Slapstix.

• Mon 21-Sat 26 July, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm mat Thu and Sat, £14–£24 Eurobeat: Almost Eurovision (Sarajevo) • Mon 28 July–Sat 2 August, contact venue for show times, £15.50–£25.50

UPSTAIRS AT THREE AND TEN 07786 984900 10 Steine Street, Brighton Freudian Slip An exploration of the modern woman in relation to fertility, image and self.

•Tue 8–Wed 9 July, 8pm, £8/6 Waxing Cynical New comic play from an acclaimed young theatre company.

•Sun 13 July, 8pm, £7/5

EASTBOURNE: ROYAL HIPPODROME

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE

01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Those Variety Days Celebrating the golden age of entertainment.

• Tue 8 July–Wed 22 Oct, 8pm, £14.50

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Barney Live! The Let’s Go Tour • Wed 23 July 4.30pm, and Thu 24 July at 11am and 2pm, £12/10

EASTBOURNE: WINTER GARDEN

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE

01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Cry of the Earth Celebrating the creation of the world.

• Sat 12 July, 7.30pm, £12/10 In Dreams • Sun 3 August, 7.30pm, £16.50

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Three Sopranos Present: A Grand Night For Singing Glittering evening of entertainment.

•Thu 10 July, 7.45pm, £15/13 The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain Feelgood show with the all-strumming group.

•Sun 13 July, 7.45pm, £16.50/15 Ice Times with Nicky Slater •Fri 18 July, 7.45pm, £16.50/14.50

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk West Side Story Timeless musical based on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

• Thu 10–Fri 11 July, 7.30pm, please call venue for prices.

To feature in our listings, email

Restored Incisor bring She Stoops to Conquer to Brighton’s St Ann’s Well Gardens Sarah Mann this year brings She Stoops to Conquer by Oliver Goldsmith and directed by Michael D’Cruze, to the park for what has now become a popular annual event.

Goldsmith’s rumbustious Restoration comedy is full of exuberant fun, unlikely plots and mistaken identities. Manners and attitudes provide social comedy in this bawdy Brighton version peppered with plenty of local references. Full of philandering fops, delicious dandies and flirty females dans daring décolletage. Big wigs galore, drunken pigs and more! After the successes of Abigail’s Party, Blithe Spirit, The Importance of Being Ernest and Twelfth Night, expectations are high, so don’t miss out.

Visit: www.theatre-company-incisor.com.

The Scented Garden, St Ann’s Well Gardens, Hove.

July 16–Aug 3 (Wed-Sun ONLY), 7pm.

Tickets £10/6 (conc). Children under 12 free.

Available on the night or in advance from The Old Market. Call: 01273 736222.

North Town Field, Fulking Sat 9 Aug, 5.30pm. Contact: amctaylor@doctors.org.uk.

Royal line-up Brighton Theatre Royal’s new season The spotlight is well and truly on Theatre Royal Brighton this autumn as they reveal a fantastic programme of premieres, openings and sparkling new productions, including a brand new production by the Royal Shakespeare Company of Romeo and Juliet and two brand new Theatre Royal Brighton Productions; the sensational comedy Noises Off and the The Wizard of Oz. Other new productions include the world premiere of Round the Horne, with scripts created by Barry Took and Marty Feldman never seen before on stage, and English Touring Theatre’s thrilling new production of Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy. Highlights continue with Alan Bennett’s rarely performed comedy Enjoy starring Alison Steadman and Agatha Christie’s best-selling thriller of all time And Then There Were None.

For lovers of musicals there’s All the Fun of the Fair starring David Essex (including all his hits), and Daydream Believer, the world premiere of the new musical celebrating all things Monkees, features all The Monkees greatest hits; ‘I’m a Believer’, ‘Last Train to Clarksville’ and of course, ‘Hey, Hey We’re the Monkees’ and Brighton Theatre Group’s The Full Monty.

Le Grande Cirque are described as “The next generation of Cirque du Soleil”. This electrifying production of breathtaking spectacle is guaranteed to take you to the edge of your seat. Also suitable for all the family, English National Ballet return to Theatre Royal Brighton to present Angelina’s Star Performance, a magical introduction to ballet for young children. For even younger children there’s mayhem from The Tiger Who Came to Tea. One night performances include comedy from the star of BBC1’s Not Going Out Tim Vine, respected comedienne Rhona Cameron and the delightful Dillie Keane in My Brilliant Divorce. There’s also great musical performances from Boy George in concert and direct from the USA is The Magic of Motown, featuring the music of The Temptations, Diana Ross and The Supremes, Martha Reeves, Smokey Robinson and many more.

For dates and full details go to www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal. For box office, call: 08700 606 650 (bkg fee).

Groups Hotline: 08700 606617

editorial@thelatest.co.uk

If you would like to comment on these stories please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

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FILM 1himself. Following the recent death of his own daughter www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 8

Thursday 10

A COMPLETE HISTORY OF MY SEXUAL FAILURES (18) 11.30 HANCOCK (12A) 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.45, 1.15, 2.00, 3.30, 4.15, 6.00, 6.30, 8.15 LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (12A) 9.00 SEX AND THE CITY (15) 3.00, 8.45 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 11.30, 1.30, 2.35, 4.45, 5.45, 8.00 THE EDGE OF LOVE (15) 12.45, 6.15 WANTED (18) 12.15, 2.45, 5.30, 8.00, 9.00

27 DRESSES (12A) 10.30

Wednesday 9

Films showing Friday 11–Monday 14

A COMPLETE HISTORY OF MY SEXUAL FAILURES (18) 11.30 FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) 12.15, 8.40 HANCOCK (12A) 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.45, 1.15, 2.00, 3.30, 4.15, 6.00, 6.30, 8.15 SEX AND THE CITY (15) 3.00 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 11.30, 1.30, 2.35, 4.45, 5.45, 8.00, 9.00 THE EDGE OF LOVE (15) 6.15 WANTED (18) 12.15, 2.45, 5.30, 8.00, 9.00

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) HANCOCK (12A) KUNG FU PANDA (PG) MAMMA MIA! (PG) THE MIST (15) WANTED (18) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES

Tuesday 8

Saturday 12

FEMALE AGENTS (15) 3.45, 9.00 THE EDGE OF LOVE (15) 1.00, 6.30

SAVAGE GRACE (15) 1.30, 6.30 THE GAME PLAN (U) 11.00

Wednesday 9

THE VISITOR (15) 4.00, 9.00

FEMALE AGENTS (15) 11.00, 4.45, 9.30 THE EDGE OF LOVE (15) 1.30, 7.00

Sunday 13 SAVAGE GRACE (15) 1.30 SFO. DON GIOVANNI (U/C) 3.30 THE VISITOR (15) 4.00, 9.00

Monday 14

Friday 11

SAVAGE GRACE (15) 1.30, 6.30 THE VISITOR (15) 4.00, 9.00

SAVAGE GRACE (15) 1.30, 6.30 THE VISITOR (15) 4.00, 9.30

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

www.cineworld.co.uk

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 8

Thursday 10

ADULTHOOD (15) 9.00 HANCOCK (12A) 11.30, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 2.20, 3.30, 4.30, 4.50, 6.00, 6.50, 7.20, 8.30, 9.15, 9.45 JUNO (12A) 11.00 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 12.50, 1.40, 3.20, 4.10, 5.50, 6.30, 8.20 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 11.00, 12.40, 2.10, 4.40, 5.30, 8.00 WANTED (18) 1.10, 4.00, 6.40, 8.45, 9.30

HANCOCK (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 2.20, 3.30, 4.50, 6.00, 7.20, 8.30, 9.15, 9.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.10, 12.50, 1.40, 3.20, 4.10, 5.50, 6.30, 8.20 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 10.50, 12.30, 1.20, 3.00, 3.50, 5.30, 6.20, 8.10, 9.00 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 12.40, 4.40, 8.00 WANTED (18) 1.10, 4.00, 6.40, 9.30

Wednesday 9

Films showing Friday 11–Monday 14

ADULTHOOD (15) 9.00 HANCOCK (12A) 11.30, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 2.20, 3.30, 4.30, 4.50, 6.00, 6.50, 7.20, 8.30, 9.15, 9.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.10, 12.50, 1.40, 3.20, 4.10, 5.50, 6.30, 8.20 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 11.00, 12.40, 2.10, 4.40, 5.30, 8.00 WANTED (18) 1.10, 4.00, 6.40, 8.45, 9.30

HANCOCK (12A) MAMMA MIA! (PG) THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) THE MIST (15) KUNG FU PANDA (PG) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

WORTHING CINEMA 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Tues 8- Mon 14 July

Fri 11- Mon 14 July

HANCOCK (12A) 3.00 (Thurs only), 6.00, 8.15 (not Fri-Mon), 8.30 (fri-mon)

MAMMA MIA! (PG) 2.00 (Sat,Sun), 5.00, 8.00

Tues 8- Thurs 10 July

MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 10.15

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 4.15, 7.15

26 latest 7

7 Selects

The Visitor (15) 01273 626261

FEMALE AGENTS (15) 3.45, 9.00 THE EDGE OF LOVE (15) 1.00, 6.30

New releases reviewed

A COMPLETE HISTORY OF MY SEXUAL FAILURES (18) 11.30 FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) 12.15 HANCOCK (12A) 11.30, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.45, 1.15, 2.00, 3.30, 4.15, 6.00, 6.30, 8.15 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.45, 2.30, 5.15, 8.00, 8.45 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 11.30, 1.30, 2.35, 4.45, 5.45, 8.00, 9.00 WANTED (18) 2.45, 5.30, 8.00

www.picturehouses.co.uk

Thursday 10

L7 lowdown

Sat 12 July CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Director: Thomas McCarthy The film follows a widowed college professor who travels to New York to attend a conference and finds a young couple, who turn out to be illegal immigrants, living in his apartment. Richard Jenkins, so good in Six Feet Under, takes the

The Forbidden Kingdom (12A) Dir: Rob Minkoff Jackie Chan and Jet Li add some physical flourishes to this humdrum tale of a Kung Fu obsessed American teenager who travels back in time after making an extraordinary discovery in a Chinatown pawnshop.

Transported back in time to ancient China he joins a crew of warriors from martial arts lore on a quest to free the imprisoned Monkey King. It sounds ridiculous and for the most part it is, expertly so, but Chan and Li kick and punch their way through reason with a vengeful aplomb.

Showing at Odeon

Mamma Mia! (PG)

Dir: Phyllida Lloyd The film adaptation of the West End musical based upon the songs and music of Abba makes its big screen debut. A young girl spends 90 minutes trying to find her real father whilst singing along to Dancing Queen, Mamma Mia and other pop hits by the

lead in a film that is witty, urbane, soulful and sweet. It may be a trite preachy and occasionally coy but this remains a warm treatment of issues such as race, immigration and personal responsibility.

Showing at Duke of York’s Craig Driver

Swedish super-group. Meryl Streep plays the kookie mum while Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgård and Pierce Brosnan play the potential fathers.

The music is great, the actors joyfully willing, and the film itself a guilty, not so subtle treat.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon & Worthing

Savage Grace (15)

Dir: Tom Kalin Based upon the true story of Barbara Daly, heir to the Bakelite plastics fortune, the film focuses on the bloody and brutal murder of Barbara in a London flat in 1972. With an array of often odd and surprising motifs, such as incest, this is a posturing mess of a film. The usually dependable Julianne Moore takes the lead in a role that only serves to match the banality of the film itself.

Showing at Duke of York’s

A Complete History of My Sexual Failures (18)

Dir: Chris Waitt This often hilarious but cringeworthy documentary follows Chris Waitt as he looks up his exes in an attempt to understand why they dumped him.

The film itself is a candid portrayal carried out in a self-depreciating Bridget Jones’ style confessional.

The problem comes when Chris is forced to circumnavigate truth in the pursuit of dramatic tension.

Showing at Odeon Craig Driver

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FILM watching. I wanted to use this classic style rather than the modern style.

You have previously said you became obsessed with the hairstyles?

It was something I thought about everyday!

In the classic films that I have just talked about I started to ask myself, why are they so respected today? The reason was because everything about them, in terms of the make-up, the costumes and the hair, it was all perfect – and that’s not for just the principal characters, also really the secondary characters, even the extras were immaculate, the details were impressive.

Do you think you’ll make another film set in this period?

Yes, it is a period I am very passionate about.

When I started to research for the film, then I started to learn that there are loads of stories that haven’t yet been told, so possibly in the future I’d like to do something on one of those stories.

Female of the species

What genre would you like to explore next?

It’s hard for me to say, because I have a lot of ideas for a lot of different films, and sometimes it can take ten years before they actually become concrete, before I actually decide to do it.

Jean-Paul Salome talks to Isabella Formisano about his new film Female Agents You got the inspiration for Louise from Lise Villameur, a real life female agent.

Was Sophie Marceau the first actress you thought of?

I didn’t really think about an actress when I was writing the script because I didn’t want to block my train of thought, I wanted the script to be organic.

Did you send your actresses train in some sort of army camp?

They didn’t do the training like the commando training in the film! But they did some training to learn how to load guns, and all the girls learned how to shoot.

How difficult was it for you to find the balance between character and the action?

What was interesting was to get that balance between the thriller element and getting the characters to be exciting.

Did any previous war movies serve as your inspirations?

Louis Malle’s Lacombe Lucien, the films of Francois Truffaut, like Le Dernier Métro, JeanPierre Melville’s L’Armée des ombres, a film by Joseph Losey called Mr Klein with Alain Delon.

For me, these are the most important films of this period, the grammar of the language is still classical and still has a lot of force for anyone

Also showing…

A quick look at what’s on this week The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (PG) Dir: Andrew Adamson After the slight disappointment of the first big screen adaptation of C.S Lewis’ children’s classics, which enthralled family audiences but got a bit of a mauling from the critics, it’s inevitable this second installment follows the Harry Potter route of getting ‘darker’. The Pevensie children return to Narnia one earth year and hundreds of Narnian years later to join the deposed Prince Caspian’s fight to regain his country’s throne. Ben Barnes in the role of Caspian is being hailed as the new Orlando Bloom, but the smart money’s on the supporting cast of animals, dwarves and mythical beasties stealing the show. Eddie Izzard voices valiant mouseketeer Reepicheep, The Station Agent‘s Peter Dinklage and everyone’s favourite ewok Warwick Davis turn up as dwarves Trumpkin and Nikabrik and, of course, honey-voiced Liam Neeson returns as good old Aslan.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing The Edge Of Love (15) Dir: John Maybury The story of legendary poet Dylan Thomas

The Edge Of Love (Matthew Rhys) told through the lives of two extraordinary women. Vera Phillips (Keira Knightley) and Dylan were teenage lovers – ten years on, the two bump into each other in London. But Thomas is now married to cabaret showgirl Caitlin (Sienna Miller). Despite their love-rivalry, we see the two women form a surprising friendship.

Showing at Odeon, Duke of York’s

Hancock (12A) Dir: Peter Berg The blockbuster super hero genre has needed this kick up the ass for a while now, so it’s good to see cultish director Peter Berg’s irreverent take on the crime-fighting business.

Will Smith plays alcoholic hero Hancock, who, after a series of high profile embarrassments, hires Jason Bateman’s PR person to help improve his public image. With Charlize Theron as the woman both men want to be with, this should be a fresh, funny send-up with Smith looking like a memorable anti-hero.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon & Worthing Juno (12A) Dir: Jason Reitman Critically lauded, with a best-selling soundtrack album featuring the likes of The Moldy Peaches, this was one of 2008’s sleeper hits. Gymslip soon-to-be mom Ellen Page (X Men 3, Hard Candy) plays the title character with the excellent Superbad and Arrested Development star Michael Cera as the accidental father of her child. A Knocked Up-style mix of black comedy and real emotional issues.

Showing at Cineworld Sex and the City (15) Dir: Michael Patrick King That rarest of summer beasts, the true chickflick blockbuster, swoops in as Carrie,

Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda’s longawaited big screen debut hits the UK. Picking up where the series ended, with Carrie engaged to her Mr Big. Needless to say there’ll be complications on the way to Carrie’s big day. Expect everything from the series, plus all the best summer fashions as Sarah Jessica Parker and co square up to the likes of Kung Fu Panda and the caped crusader for one hell of a brawl.

Showing at Odeon Wanted (18) Dir: Timur Bekmambetov Wanted is the story of 25-year-old nobody, Wes (James McAvoy) whose life changes when he meets a woman named Fox (Angelina Jolie).

After his father is murdered, the deadly sexy Fox recruits Wes into The Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his father's death by unlocking his dormant powers.

Wes discovers this team lives by an ancient, unbreakable code: to carry out the death orders given by fate itself.

The Fraternity's enigmatic leader, Sloan (Morgan Freeman) and Fox teach Wes everything he needs to be the world’s best assassin. Soon he realises that he alone controls his destiny.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Nick Aldwinckle and Patrick O’ Donnell

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4/7/08

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7/3/08

3:31 PM

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KIDS&EVENTS

ART

For complete listings go to latest7.co.uk

EVENTSHIGHLIGHTS

Street style

School Flora

As part of the Rising Styles festival; ‘3rd Dimension’ is an exhibition of cutting-edge 3D street art and sculpture, and which aims to show some of the true pioneers of street art who have taken graffiti to the next level through their use of sculpture and threedimensional painting. Rising Styles, a festival that celebrates hip hop culture, has invited two pioneers of 3D/sculpture graffiti; Mare 139 from New York and Zeus from London.

In addition to exhibiting some of his most compelling pieces, Mare 139 will also be artist-in-residence; creating and building an original piece, giving the public, graffiti artists and students the opportunity to engage directly with the artist, observe his processes and discuss his work.

For one day on Tuesday 15 July, Varndean Secondary School becomes a conceptual artwork based on bacteria. The giant installation is the work of artist Anna Dumitriu, who takes over the school as part of ‘Normal Flora’ – her major art project based on bacteria.

All students and staff are involved with the installation, with the school open to the public throughout the day. The art is based on laboratory findings of bacteria collected in the school.

Work includes performances, sculptures, animation, bacterial food and more. Even the music you will hear is composed using mathematical formulas found in the bacteria.

School Flora takes place on 15 July, 5.30-7.30pm, Varndean School, Balfour Road, Brighton. Visit: www.normalflora.co.uk for info. Entrance is free.

Tours and microbially inspired refreshments available. Call: 07890 516510 for more information.

3rd Dimension, until 3 September, University of Brighton Gallery, Grand Parade

EVENTSLISTINGS

ARTLISTINGS

Tuesday 8

Sunday 13

Eastbourne’s Tea Dances Waltz away this afternoon. Ticket price includes tea and biscuits. Winter Garden Theatre, Eastbourne, 2-5pm, £5.

Greenspeak: Why Bother? Stories from inspiring speakers – how can one person make a difference? All welcome in this fun and informative event.

The Old Market, 7pm, £donation.

Across Lewes Railway Lands Discover beautiful flowers in this two to three mile Sussex walk. Sorry, no dogs. Wear suitable footwear. Meet at Friars’ Walk car park, Lewes. 10am-1pm, £donations.

Capital to Coast 2008 The 13th anniversary of the annual Capital to Coast charity cycle challenge. Ride 30 miles or 60 in this charity fundraiser. More info at www.capitaltocoast.org.uk or on 020 8420 6944, £20/£15. Please call for more details.

Dazzling Damsels and Distinguished Dragons Discover dragonflies and damselflies on this private Sussex farm. Montagu’s Farm, near Hankham, Pevensey, 07866 961122 for more information, 10.30am-1.30pm, £donations.

The Garden Gadabout Over 45 private gardens are opened to the public – divided into six trails, designed to be accessible in a day’s visit, and spread from Montpelier to Kemp Town to Peacehaven. £1 donation to each garden visit. Tea and homemade cakes are available to enjoy. Find out more at: www.gardengadabout.org.uk

6 BRISTOL STREET Bird Lofts and Bird Hubs Chris Murphy showing and selling his work in the garden.

13 & 20 July, 11am–6pm

Wednesday 9 Brighton City Singers Sing along in this weekly choir group meeting with Brighton City Singers. Somerhill Junior School, 8pm, £tbc.

Contact venue for details.

Thursday 10 Perspectives on Art Talk comparing perceptions of art in Chinese and European cultures. The Old Courtroom, 1pm, £5/3.50.

Saturday 12

The 15th Annual Garden Weekend Plants and garden products for sale, plus woodcraft demonstrations and more. Also on 13 July. Parham House and Gardens, £tbc.

Contact venue for more details.

Sussex Wildlife Trust Walk Seven mile circular walk throuh Arundel Park and along the River Arun. All welcome.

Meet at Swanbourne Lake, The Garden Gadabout Arundel, 9.45am

29 latest 7

To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

ARTISTS AND MAKERS FESTIVAL Various venues 01903 219116 Artists and Makers Festival .

Until 20 July BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Chinoiserie in Britain 1650–1930 Until 2 Nov Stephen Creffield: Along the Shore .

Until 10 Aug Forests of Gold: Kingdom of the Asante Marking 50 years of Ghana’s independence: Until 3 Aug, Tue 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm CRANE KALMAN 38 Kensington Gdns, 01273 697096 Karine Laval: Leisure Photographer on the notion of ‘leisure’. Until 20 July Jeff Divine: Surfing’s Golden Age: The 70s Kodachromes Until 29 July, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10:30am–4:30pm INK_D GALLERY 96 North Road, 01273 645299 Pure Evil This show looks at what lurks around the corner on the secret streets of London. Until 2 August, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm

Sara Abbott @ Impure Art

IMPURE 13 Ship Street Gardens New ‘erotic’ gallery next to erotic boutique Until 31 August, Mon–Sat, 10am-6pm LIGHTHOUSE 28 Kensington St, 01273 647197 Slow Furl A room-size textile installation by Mette Ramsgard Thomsen and Karin Bech.

Until 19 July

Q 15 St John Street, Lewes, 01273 487849 Summer Show Featuring Susan Ashworth, John Skinner, Emma Wilson.

12 July – 10 August, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 1–5pm UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON Grand Parade, Brighton, 01273 643010 3rd Dimension Until 3 September, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm

To feature in our art listings, email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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STAND-UP COMEDY&BOOKS

A laughing matter

Write club

Victoria Nangle has a chat with the Mighty Boosh’s Naboo, aka Mike Fielding

John Davies dissects the work of Debra Adelaide, in Brighton to launch her acclaimed new book

Mike Fielding is a tad unavailable. Not on purpose you understand. The number I am calling is currently not able to take my call. And it’s hardly surprising considering the amount he’s got on. He couldn’t take my call cos he was in Boots getting his gear ready for a hop on a plane to Ibiza to do a bit of deejaying.

Plus he’s writing with comedy partner Peter Kyriacou. And he’s got the Mighty Boosh Festival yet to come. It could all be too much. “I’m going to run out of…” He reaches for a word.

“Gas”. And does he even like his alter ego Naboo, I ask?

“I like Naboo. We get on well.” Phew. “ We’ve been on a golfing holiday together. He’s a bit of a one for the ladies though, Naboo. You’ve gotta watch him. Whereas I’m not – I’ve got my girlfriend and that’s it. I don’t want anyone else. But with Naboo…”

Mike trails off with the endless possibilities.

Naboo is the shaman character Mike has been playing in the successful TV show The Mighty Boosh, starring his brother Noel and Julian Barratt for the past four years. There’s talk of a movie – “I don’t really like to say. It’s a rumour that’s gone crazy” – as well as a tour in September. “That’s, like, five months, so if we come out of that alive, yeah, who knows [about a film].” It’s also good to hear that Mike’s got his own work in progress. “We’ve written a treatment [me and Pete], we did some bits for the Comedy Box website as well, which went down quite well.” There are five one-and-a-half minute bits. They asked for gritty dramas so they gave them ‘Gritty Drama’. They’ve got their own button on the site and are now some of the most successful clips there.

“I like silly comedy rather than clever comedy. Not like Pete. He likes more thoughtful comedy. It’s weird how we write together because we’re kind of opposite in what we like but have the same sense of humour.” He thinks on this. “I guess that’s the same with Noel and Julian. Chalk and cheese go together.”

But what of Naboo? What does the future hold? “It would be good to do a spin-off”, muses Mike. “What Naboo Did Next After The Boosh.

Naboo going to auditions, but as Naboo. Getting knock-back after knockback. It’d be like a fly-on-the-wall.” He chuckles at this. Naboo will be less successful than the man himself, as he dashes off to finish packing for yet another international date in his career.

In my absence Laura Hockenhull kindly welcomed Australian writer Debra Adelaide to Brighton Writers’ Centre to record an interview in the company of a small group of interested readers and writers.

Debra is in Britain to launch The Household Guide to Dying, a book I finished reading on the plane back from Boston while a Dutch lady slept soundly in the seat next to me, using my right thigh as an uninvited footrest. It was an unfulfilling journey but a fulfilling read.

In her interview Debra said that as she wrote The Guide she was very aware “this is a woman’s book”. But as a man, can I record how much I enjoyed reading this multi-layered journal of a woman facing death from cancer? The narrator’s voice – a woman in her 30s – is authentic, believable, full of life and fear, and interesting because of it.

It’s a great idea that the dying narrator should be a writer of hints-and-tips books – The Household Guides of the title including the must-read Household Guide to the Laundry. She hits on the idea of turning her closing experience into one of her books. At times, the story is gut-wrenchingly moving in a way that will resurrect all your grief for loved ones lost – but, I think, in a good, cathartic way that would have pleased Aristotle.

The fact that there’s a film in The Guide stands out a mile. It’s an open, fluid book with a strong universal storyline. The family members – including secure and organised mother Jean, gardener husband Archie and two vivacious daughters – all come to life with real spirit and tenderness.

However, I was a little disappointed in the ending and I recommend the book as a good read if only to see what you think of the final outcome. In my mind the word ‘closure’ is very connected with doors that don’t shut properly and I had the same feeling of unease about the events at the end of this novel. If you would like to comment please do, to writeclub@thelatest.co.uk In spite of my concern about final outcomes, this is a book well worth reading – for the first person narrator with her love of Mrs Beaton (not surprising with the first name Delia), for the humane understanding of family and for the dextrous handling of time with shifting scenes, past and present, interwoven with expert stratification. What stayed with me is the struggle of the single mother. In this book a voice is crying foul against all the fathers (ah, that theme again) who neglect their familial responsibilities, and the stress that puts on mothers.

Debra said that she wrote 12 to 15 drafts of The Guide and she’s still working on revisions as each market (Australasia, UK, North America) demands a slightly different version. Debra knows a thing or two about books. She wrote 150 words a day, five days a week reviewing for The Sydney Morning Herald.

And she’s also refreshingly honest about the writing process. Forget the idea of long, quiet days when all you do is write. “Write half a day here, a night there, a couple of hours then. If you start worrying about readers you can retard the process,” says Debra, and then gave all us writers an excellent piece of advice: “Write for one person – someone you care about a great deal.” In other words, write for love.

The Mighty Boosh play at The Brighton Centre 12–15 November 2008.

By the way, if you’re interested in strong women, take a look at Sussex Women: 580 Biographical Sketches www.hastingspress.co.uk/sussexwomen.html While on the subject of websites – check out www.untitledbooks.com

COMEDYLISTINGS

Thursday 10

Saturday 12

Robin Ince: Propaganda and Tittletattle TV and radio star Robin Ince continues his monthly residency, trying out new material and ideas. Upstairs at Three and Ten, 8pm, £7/5

Clever Peter Comedy sketch group who were nominated for best comedy at this year’s Brighton Festival Fringe are back.

Upstairs at Three and Ten, 8pm, £7/5.

Sunday 13 Friday 11 St Leonard’s Improv Comedy Club Jane Bostock headlines. Support acts to be announced. The Rooms Café Bar, 8pm, £5/4.

Richard Herring, Reg D Hunter, Rob Deering Fantastic headliners try out their Edinburgh previews in an intimate surrounding. Komedia Studio Bar, 6:30pm, 8pm, 9:30pm, £5 each.

➧ For full listings go to latest7.co.uk/listings

Kerry Godliman Comic described by Norman Lovett as: “Bloody good”.

Komedia Studio Bar, 7:30pm, £5.

Monday 7 Funny Farm Joey Page and Rich Brophy – The After Dinner Society Edinburgh preview.

Plus support. Farm Tavern, 8pm, £5/4.

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031_LS380 Music_News

7/4/08

10:08 AM

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latest music NEWS Brighton not best?!

Yes, our balloon has been seriously pricked.

Not only did we get beaten: we got thrashed, languishing in sixth place behind Birmingham, Leicester, Manchester, Sheffield and winner Liverpool, despite having the might of local label Skint championing us all the way. At least we managed to edge out Colchester, and perhaps more surprisingly, London! The competition was organised by Arts Council England and unsigned acts were given the chance to win a slot on stage at this year’s End of the Road festival. The Affection, Electric Tape Recorded and Bianca Bohl won the three slots available.

At home by the sea Festivals, eh? They’re the new rock ’n’ roll, don’t ya know. Once upon a time there was the Brighton Festival and, er, nothing else!

Suddenly we now have three music festivals in the month of August alone! Joining the Bank holiday weekend and camping affair Beachdown, along with the one-day extravaganza Loop, suddenly ‘At Home by the Sea’ has sprung up. A two-day bash put together by Concorde 2 and local promoters Melting Vinyl. Concorde 2, Madeira Drive and Yellow Wave (the sandy beach courts complex) will be hosting four stages all over the 8–9 August weekend. Bands confirmed so far include: Camera Obscura, Brakes, Peggy Sue & The Pirates, Hot Club de Paris, Chrome Hoof, Shout Out Louds, The Shortwave Set and with plenty more to be announced. Madeira Drive will be partially closed for the venture and, of course, there will be lots of food stands, stalls and BBQs. Two day or one-day tickets are available with special discounts for under 18s. www.myspace.com/athomebythesea

Flaming Lips

Best in show Camp Bestival is the new sibling of Bestival. Nick Aldwinckle spoke to Rob da Bank about his new family-friendly festival The Isle of Wight’s Bestival has established itself over the years as one of the hot tickets of the festival season. Having sold out very early Rob Da Bank is branching out with a new event taking place next weekend at Lulworth Castle in Dorset, imaginatively titled Camp Bestival.

Headlined by psych-pop heroes The Flaming Lips, spunky London singer-songwriter Kate Nash and true rock and roll legend Chuck Berry, Camp Bestival promises a curious mix of old-fashioned family holiday camp fun, veteran artists and cutting edge new bands, comedy, books, and, erm, knitting and giant insects. Continuing the original Bestival’s tradition of fancy dress, this year’s theme is the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party and there’s even going to be an attempt to break the world record for the biggest marching band.

Peggy Sue & The Pirates

Brakes

What’s the thinking behind the new festival?

Rob: To translate the Bestival feeling to a family vibe, I’d say. We’ve got a lot of activities for kids going on here and it’s in a lovely place with a castle and nice surroundings. There’s a bit of a chill-out atmosphere for the festival-goers who fancy a break from the really in your face club stuff: ravers who have got a bit older and have young families. Like me!

Which sort of fun, family friendly activities?

Rob: We’ve got the Cuban Brothers leading the Bluecoats and we’re aiming to be like Hi-De-Hi! They’re things going on all day long. We’ve got

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Roy Walker from Catchphrase appearing. He’s quite a star and his stand-up comedy’s really good, so we thought we’d get him involved, as he’s never played a festival! We’ve got an insect circus going on too, with people walking around in giant insect costumes, which will be fun. We’ve got spoken word tents too. A little educational, but not too much.

Who else are you looking forward to seeing?

Rob: Chuck Berry. I’ve got no idea if it’ll work, but I’m a big fan. He doesn’t normally play festivals, so it’s a bit of a one-off. Billy Bragg and Suzanne Vega are playing too, who’ll be great. We’ve got good newer bands playing as well as the oldies, such as Black Kids and Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip. You’ve got strong links with Brighton. What do you think of the Brighton scene?

Rob: There are a lot of great DJs I know in Brighton who guarantee good crowd numbers and plenty of good bands. Brighton’s a great place. I’ve spent a lot of time there over the years.

What next?

Rob: We’re talking about expanding internationally.

We’re looking into doing shows in Brazil and Singapore, but at the moment, we’ve got our hands full at home!

Camp Bestival, 18,19 & 20 July, Lulworth Castle, Dorset. www.campbestival.net latest 7 31

032_LS380 music previews

7/3/08

5:08 PM

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MUSIC

MUSIC

LA-33 Jason Mraz San Diego-based troubadour who is like an American version of James Morrison; upbeat, sunny-side up acoustic soul. Big news over the pond, he’s also quietly establishing himself here, with the help of new album We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things. Notice the use of the royal ‘we’…

Tuesday 8 July, Corn Exchange

LA-33 Bogota's 12 piece urban salsa orchestra has spearheaded a new era in Colombian music with its pulsating backline of piano, bass, drums, percussion and full brass section complementing the lilting Latin swing of vocal trio ‘Malpelo’, ‘Guillo’ and Pablo Martinez.

Formed in 2002 by brothers Sergio and Santiago Mejia, LA-33’s infectious mix of seminal New York City salsa and Colombia’s new wave urban barrio sound first hit the Bogota airwaves on the band’s eponymous 2004 debut album.

Wednesday 9 July, Corn Exchange Gloria Cycles Brighton band with a penchant for quirky, melodic indie. They also like to have fun as their live gigs demonstrate – it’s not unusual to find a ping-pong table or sausages and mash at their gigs. Yummy!

Thursday 10 July, Prince Albert

Jason Mraz Paul Heaton With Beautiful South splitting up last year, frontman Paul Heaton now has the experience of being on his own for pretty much the first time in his illustrious career as a writer of witty and often barbed kitchen-sink dramas for the over 25s. Still thinking hard and still passionate about his fellow man, this is a great chance to see him in a relatively intimate venue and playing out songs from his debut solo album.

Tuesday 8 July, Komedia Los De Abajo Mexico City’s exhilarating eight-piece collective, proclaiming revolution to their unique pulse of mestizo rock, reggae, ska, mambo and merengue rhythms. With a blistering live show reminiscent of Manu Chao, this is one of South America’s most exciting groups.

Wednesday 9 July, Komedia

Los De Abajo

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The Lollo Meier Quartet The Dutch gypsy was raised on gypsy jazz and in particular the master Django Reinhard. An accomplished composer, Meier has also made it his goal in life to carry on the music of Reinhardt.

Thursday 10 July, Komedia Black Kids It’s brilliant to talk about black kids and get somewhat quizzical looks, almost shocked expressions, certainly a plus point for this racially-mixed indie band from the States.

Rather good too, their debut album Partie Traumatic is due out this week.

Thursday 10 July, Concorde 2 Robert Cray For 30+ years Robert Cray has laid down goodtime, uptown, low-down blues. He’s won five Grammys and been nominated for 11 more, inspired critics to praise his soulful vocal and instrumental artistry, earned respect from his peers, and sent young guitarists running back to the woodshed. He’s also collaborated with the likes of Clapton, Waters, Hooker and Berry.

Friday 11 July, Dome DKT/MC5 Detroit’s MC5 were a legendary post-garage and proto-punk band at the turn of the 70s, famous for their ‘Kick Out The Jams’ track, and producer of the classic album Back In The USA. A few years ago some of the original members reformed under the DKT/MC5, and here they are!

Monday 14 July, Concorde 2

The Feeling Leader of the pack retro 70s soft rockers with plenty of soaring guitar solos and harmonies at their disposal.

Saturday 1 November, Brighton Centre, 01273 290131

UPCOMING GIGS Robert Cray 11 July, Dome Battles 15 July, Concorde 2 Elliot Minor 18 July, Concorde 2 Incognito 19 July, Concorde 2 Easy Star All Stars 22 July, Komedia Lightspeed Champion 23 July, Concorde 2 Hot 8 Brass Band 30 July, Digital Black Seeds 1 August, Komedia Judy Collins 2 August, Komedia kd Lang 3 August, Dome Henry Rollins 13 August, Komedia Loop Festival 16 August, Victoria Gardens Martha Reeves 18 August, Concorde 2 Beachdown Festival 22-25 August, Brighton Van Morrison 19 Sept, Dome British Sea Power 2 October, Corn Exchange Michael Bolton 6 October, Brighton Centre Stephen Stills 10 October, Brighton Centre

Moody Blues 11 October, Brighton Centre Cajun Dance Party 13 October, Concorde 2 Dr John 21 October, Dome The Hoosiers 25 October, Brighton Centre Level 42 30 October, Dome Hot Chip 5 November, Dome Motorhead 6 November, Dome Scouting For Girls 3 Nov, Brighton Centre Alphabeat 3 November, Concorde 2 Mercury Rev 11 Nov, Dome Katie Melua 11 November, Brighton Centre Cardiacs 17 November, Komedia Human League 5 December, Brighton Centre Neville Staple 6 December, Concorde 2 Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre Katherine Jenkins 15 December,B’ton Centre Maddy Prior 15 December, Hove Centre

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Contact Hanna on 01273 731643 / 07814 711531 e: hanna@hannaburchell.co.uk Reasonable rates

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

033_LS380 music_reviews jeff

7/3/08

12:22 PM

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MUSIC

MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases The hype surrounding The Presets is becoming deafening, now that their second long player, Apocalypso, has been finally dropped. Deploying a nagging and incessant dance beat and the stylings of The Rapture, old school hard electro, German techno, and Pet Shop Boys (a definite red card offence), these Aussies are part of the new school of dance that also includes Midnight Juggernaughts and Cut Copy.

Belated review this one, but you have to take your hats off to The Fratellis, whose second album Here We Stand is another outstanding example of how lyrics, melody and song come together effortlessly, when in the right hands. To the untrained/biased/ignorant ear they sound like a good pub rock band, but listen closer, and you hear what is so great about rock’n’roll. I’m telling you, The Fratellis are one of the best around.

Upbeat and bursting with energy and a few hooks to keep you interested are Infadels whose Universe in Reverse album is an anthemic call-to-arms type protest album. Overwhelming and a little bombastic at times, this still adds up to a fresh blast of social-consciousness-indie that you can dance to.

A friend and protege of Bjork back in the late 90s, Leila returns with her first album in eight years, Blood, Looms and Blooms. Where a more electronic Tom Waits meets Portishead via The Go! Team, this is tripped-out, ghostly psychedelia; evocative, often mesmerising.

Brighton’s Gloria Cycles are releasing a 7” single, ‘Vegas’, the first fruits from the band who will be releasing their debut album later in the year.

The four-piece make simple yet effective indie rock with the emphasis on the surreal and quirky.

Local artist Samantha Horwill has just released the mini-album Figure of 3, full of her trademark upbeat acoustic soul plus the odd bluesy influenced tune evoking Sheryl Crow, Norah Jones and Aimee Mann. Well-rounded and passionate stuff.

The ever-expanding Brighton Institute of Modern Music (with a new college in Bristol) produces regular compilation CDs showcasing the work of some of their students. New one What’s Inside Your Head Volume One is a mixed bag of everything from Amy Winehouse-esque noir jazz blues, hi-octane emo and everything in-between. Highlights include Francesca Young and Bitter Ruin.

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.latest7.co.uk/chart Or hear the full chart with Jeff and Nick on Radio Reverb, 97.2fm every Tuesday 4-6pm/12-2am Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10

★ 1 Portslade – Boys and Girls ★ 2 Dates – Thief 3 Mean Poppa Lean – Ain’t Nobody 4 Electralounge – South of Normal 5 Cakeboy – Damage featuring Frances Law 6 Cath O’Drae – Mugged by the System 7 Django Spears – No Limit 8 Leo Altarelli – See it Now 9 Digitalis – No Control 10 Cath O’Drae – Sofageddon Another week on top for Portslade’s classy take on Blur’s nineties hit, as funky Mean Poppa Lean and country-fried Electralounge refuse to leave the top five. Retro-rockers Dates move up to two with ‘Thief’, while Cakeboy’s rave-tastic ‘Damage’ remains at five. Honourable mention to Cath O’ Drae’s two pronged chart assault at six and ten.

11 Caramel Jack We Could Build Skyscrapers 12 Bucket-Joy Jaded 13 Kiyomori None of the Above 14 Eminemmylou The Way I Am 15 XamXam Bu Ngen Munt 16 Loc E Chemical Romance 17 The Mighty Rivals Arise 18 Tractor Countdown Love’s Elusions 19 Little Black Number Who is Number One...

20 Without Warrant Stop The Machine 21 Cath O’Drae Sofageddon 22 My Fabric Changes 23 Chris T-T A-Z 24 Jonny Loves House Not Just In My Head 25 Hatchdown Come Down Easy

The Laughing Onion Jean-Jacques Jordane “Sings Paris” for small parties

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2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE THE BRASSERIE LATIN IN THE LANE FISH & GRILL 10–11 Kings Road, Brighton, 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina East Sussex BN1 1NE Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 328672 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking.

Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people.

Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

26 Villareal We Must Stop Meeting Like This 27 Bastion Trust Me 28 sMs I’m Sorry Dave 29 Death Cabaret Forlorn Hope 30 Friday Night Hero Our Time 31 Millsy Slug Music My Giddy Aunt 32 Kovak Death in the Disco 33 Afterspark Little Glow 34 Eminemmylou, Legs MC & co.

Missing (Where Are You?) 35 Project Lumino Sun 36 Glitters From Billy Little Star 37 Left Hand Red Transition 38 She Said 200 Years 39 ThePrjctMyhm Free For All 40 The Pulse Used In Part

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01273 818150 ext 102 latest 7 33

034_LS380_music_listings

7/3/08

1:13 PM

Page 2

MUSIC

competition

For complete listings go to latest7.co.uk

MUSIC LISTINGS 8-14 July Tuesday 8 Black Thatcher + Talk Box + Bellanova The Albert, 8:00pm, £tbc. Contact venue for details Escape to Victory Open Mic. Open mic night.

The Victory, 8pm, free Jason Mraz Corn Exchange, 7pm, £tbc. Contact venue for details Open Mic Bring your guitar and join in one of the best nights in town. Duke of Norfolk, 9pm, free Paul Heaton Founder of The Housemartins and The Beautiful South launches his solo career showcasing tracks from his new album.

Komedia, 8:30pm, £15 adv Serotonic Rock and pop covers band. Geminis, 8:00pm, free Slip Jam: B Brighton’s only free hip-hop jam session. Open mic with PA’s from Dr Syntax and Ramblers Association. The Hope, 8pm, over 18s Sofa Sessions Open Mic. A great atmosphere with performer happy hour! The Belle Vue, 8:30pm, free Wordplay A sparkling evening of Brighton’s finest poets and musicians.Sanctuary, 7:45pm, £5

launch party for Cottonmouths Rocks’ debut single, plus support. The Hope, 8:00pm, free Geekstock Charity event starring My Deaf Audio and Poindexter. The Albert, 8:00pm, £tbc.

Contact venue for details Juke Joint presents: Zoe Lewis Blues, swing and Latin grooves and very much more plus guests. Joogleberry Playhouse, 9:00pm, £9 Live Acoustic Lounge Hand-picked, free-range, organically grown singer/songwriter showcase (upstairs). Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, free Portslade Previous Latest 7 chart toppers give Britpop tunes the dirty lounge treatment. The Providence, 8:00pm, £1 Robert Cray Band Brighton Dome, 7:00pm, £27.50 Smokestack A must for lovers of blues, jazz, grooves, big toned harmonica and sophisticated slide guitar. The Neptune, 8:30pm, £tbc The Dead Ringer From Hell Meatloaf covers evening. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £13.50/15

Saturday 12 Wednesday 9

An out of this world prize!

Can you shake it?

The southern heat of the National Sputnik Vodka UKBG (United Kingdom Bartenders’ Guild) cocktail competition is nearly here! The fun takes place on Tuesday 15 July at Above Audio from 5pm.

The event will see the best bartenders from across the south battling it out for a place in the final, to be held in London (25 July). With a £4,000 prize fund and a place in the world final to be held in Puerto Rico, there’s everything to play for!

To enter the last heat at Above Audio next week, contact the area chairman on 07886 252192 by Saturday 12 July to avoid disappointment.

Alternatively, contact the Sputnik rep for the south at greg.allen@russianvodkahouse.co.uk. There is a £10 entry fee for non members on the day. Registration is between 5-6pm on the day (after 6.15 you will be disqualified). Cocktails to start at 7pm sharp.

Make sure you register now for a chance to take part in this event!

Win a case of Sputnik Premium Russian Vodka!

To coincide with all the cocktail-making shenanigans of the National Sputnik Vodka UKBG cocktail competition, Sputnik have teamed up with Latest 7 to offer a fantastic prize. One lucky reader will win a case of Sputnik Premium Russian Vodka.

For a chance to win tell us: When was the launch date for the Sputnik satellite that Sputnik Vodka was created to celebrate?

To enter, send your answer to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with Sputnik in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 21 July 2008 (see terms and conditions below).

Competition terms and conditions: A full list of rules for the cocktail making competition can be found at the ukbg website: www.ukbg.co.uk.

For the crate of vodka giveaway, entrants must be aged 18 or over. The winner will be selected at random from correct entries and notified after the closing date. The prize must be obtained in person from the Joogleberry Playhouse, Manchester Street, Brighton (opposite Brighton Pier).

An ID may be required as proof of age.

34 latest 7

Buskin Band Nite In a band? Want some exposure? Let Thomas Kemp help you! Thomas Kemp Pub, 8:00pm, free LA-33 + Salsa Pimente DJs Groundbreaking Colombian music blending salsa with the new wave urban barrio sound. Brighton Dome, 8:00pm, £14/12 Kypreos Band World Music Wednesdays. This week, Greece. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8:00pm, £8/6 Live Music Expect all sorts, from Latin jazz to Irish folk via Casio-keyboard funk and bluegrass.

The Cowley Club, 8:00pm, free Los De Abajo Mexico City’s exhilarating eightpiece collective promise a blistering eclectic live show. Komedia, 9:00pm, £12/10 Ok Acoustic Showcasing the best live acoustic music around. Western Front, 8:00pm, free Rough Trade Unsigned Early show – Kong Live (line up tbc). The Cowley Club, 7:30pm, £4/3. Contact venue for details Shoot The Moon + Junction 27 + Essay For The Ordinary + Skabatage The Albert, 8:00pm, £tbc The Bohemia Ukulele Band Debut Brighton gig from this quirky 6-piece. Komedia, 7:00pm, £tbc

Thursday 10 Aguliera Flamenco Duo New twice monthly world music night in Lewes kicks off with this flamenco guitar duo. The Pelham Arms, Lewes, 9:00pm, £tbc Artrocker Night: Live Music tbc. Massive NUS Discounts. Water Margin, 8:00pm, £3/5 Black Kids Fun and frolics with this new band reminiscent of the legendary Wedding Present.

Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £tbc Coalition Live Lounge Some of the world’s finest musicians perform live and uncut.

Brighton Coalition, 10:30pm, free Deadbeat Descendant + Gloria Cycles 2nd Anniversary party. The Albert, 8:00pm, £tbc.

Contact venue for details Hammer and Tongue/ Rising Styles Hip-Hop Special Featuring Mud Sun, GMB and Zena Edwards+ MC’s Open slam – sign up early!

Komedia, 8:00pm, £5/4 Live Music TBC. Local bands.Curry and pint £7.50! Duke of Norfolk, 9:00pm, free. Contact venue for details Shearwater Ethereal but oddly disquieting artrock songs. The Hope, 8:00pm, £tbc Sofa Sessions Open Mic Great night with performer happy hour! Juggler Bar, 8:30pm, free The Lollo Meier Quartet Club Chat Noir Special. A night of hot gypsy swing by this gypsy jazz guitar master. Komedia, 8:30pm, £10/8 The Three Sopranos: A Night for Singing Featuring the beautiful voices of Linda Watts, Diana Vivian and Judith Buckle accompanied on piano by Carol Ann Wells. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £13/15

Friday 11 Cottonmouth Rocks + Witch Duo + Cathode Ray Syndrome Not For Resale presents the

Buzz Club New night featuring the rawest scuzzed-up fuzzed-out good times rock’n’roll!

Bands featured Saw Gang Buzz, To the Bones, Dizzy Heights. Hectors House, 8:00pm, free Drookit Dogs + Cabaret Noir + Sweet Sweet Lies + Darius Alexander Free gig to coincide with the official release of the Drookits’ debut album, available to buy on the night! The Brunswick, 8:00pm, free One Night of Queen As it says on the tin – a night of Queen songs. Brighton Centre, 6:30pm, £20 Perfect Harmony: Songs Performed by the Worthing Philharmonic Choir A welcome return to this Shoreham venue. St Mary de Haura, 7:30pm, free (donations). Contact venue for details Rothko + Epic45 + Junkboy + Snorkel Perfect Sound Forever present London soundscape artisans Rothko plus support. The Hope, 8:00pm, £6/5 Showcase and Beyond:Frixion, Stewart Mac with MyIQ and Thomas Jules The best new music from the South! More acts tbc.

Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, £6/4 The Backbeat Beatles Tribute band. Hove Centre, 6:30pm, £13/15 Voice of the Heart: Carole Gordon sings all your Carpenters faves! Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £15

Sunday 13 Alternative Music Night: Mike the Mic (and friends) The Neptune, 8:30pm, £tbc Ben Parker Singer songwriter performs for some relaxed Sunday afternoon entertainment.

The Blackboys Inn, Lewes, 3:00pm, free Blotto + The Dauntless Elite + Bastion + The Costof Living + The North Pole The Albert, 1:15pm, £tbc. Contact venue for details Brighton and Hove Big Band – Summer Swing A night of classic swing numbers through to contemporary jazz + funk by talented musicians from across the city. Komedia, 7:30pm, £5/2.50 Free Range Open Mic night hosted by Mark and Max. The Fiddler's Elbow, 8:00pm, free.

Contact venue for details Summer Roast ‘n’ Jazz: Ian Price on Tenor Sax Joogleberry Playhouse, 12:00pm, £10 inc full roast dinner.

Sunday Sessions: Live and Unplugged Local performers perform live. Bring your guitar!

Western Front, 7:30pm, free.

The Beach Band Geminis, 8:00pm, free The Sunday Post The Albert, 5:00pm, £tbc.

Contact venue for details The Ukulele Orchestra Of Great Britain All strumming all singing (hopefully dancing too) ukulele troupe take on all sorts of songs.

Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 2:45pm, £15/16.50

Monday 14 Showie Bowie All of Brighton's based acoustic artists perform Bowie songs in their own style. Joogleberry Playhouse, 9:00pm, £6/4.

Patrick O’ Donnell

➧ For full listings go to latest7.co.uk/listings

035_LS380_club_listings

7/3/08

11:02 AM

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BARS &CLUBS

CLUBLISTINGS 8 – 14 July

Ocean Rooms Somewhere in the Universe. DJ Henron plays the likes of Justice, Daft Punk, MSTRKRFT, Hot Chip and MIA. 10pm, £3 before 11:30pm, £5/4 after.

Pavilion Tavern Kick out the Jams. Rock ‘n’ Roll mayhem with indie anthems, punk and new alternative chancers. 10:30pm–3am, £4/3.

Po Na Na Ice Box. Cool funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4.

Tru Club Generation. Three rooms with mainstream dance, R’n’B and cheesey 70s and 80s hits. 10pm–3am, £10/8.

Volks Carbon. Brighton’s leading night in everything underground on the drum‘n’bass scene. With DJs Insight, Voytek and guests spinning tunes from just around the next corner.

11pm–5am, £5.

Water Margin It Came From the Sea. DJs Nikon Driver and kicking_k blast back into the scene with an innovative arthouse/dancefloor experience. Expect next wave indie, neurotic dance and hip-hop futurism. 11pm–3am, £5/4.

Funky Buddha Lounge

Tuesday 8

Wednesday 9 Audio Supercharged. Midweek breaks session.

10pm–2:30am, £5/4/3.

Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest for all stars wearing rock/indie fans. 10:30pm, £5/3.

Thursday 10 Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. The famous debauched cabaret club night with dignity bashing stage games. 10pm–3am, £3/2/1.

Audio Mad for it. Brighton’s legendary indie night. 10:30pm–2am, £1.50 NUS, £3 others.

Honey Club Contagious. Southern FM’s Paul Hillyer joins Howie, Ben and guests to break out some classic house and dance anthems. 2-4-1 cocktails all night! 10:30pm–3am, £3/2/1.

Po Na Na Off the wall. Funk, soul and motown from the 50s to present day. 10pm–3am, £2.

Volks Arcane Coalition. Unrelenting drum ‘n’ bass. 10pm. Contact venue for details.

Water Margin Artrocker. Where experimental electro hooks up with genre-trashing live indie up-and-comers. 8pm–3am, £5/3 before midnight.

Friday 11 Arc Sweet and Dandy. Sixties night.

11pm–3am, £3.

Audio Square Roots. Brow-sweating dubstep with special guests tba. 11pm–4am, £tbc.

Digital Stonelove. 101% max indie rock and roll with regular live DJ guest and NME-friendly bands. 11pm–3am, £6/5.

Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard-moshin’ rock, alternative and indie night for eyeliner’d up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm–3am, £5/4/3.

Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk it’s Friday.

Start the weekend with Sean Quinn’s party tunes. Feel the magic. 10pm–3am, £7/6/5.

Then: Retro Electro. Classic tunes and electro basslines. 3am–8am, £7/5.

Funky Fish The Funkyfish club. Soul, funk, old skool breaks and 60s and 70s tunes.

10pm–3am, £3.50/5.

Honey Club Honey. It’s all about fun, fashion, flirtation and quality house boshed out by DJs Marcus Gauntlet, Lee Morrison and Futur8.

10pm–3am, £8/5.

Arc Hold Up. Unpretentious indie clubbing and new wave electro. 10:30pm–4am, £5.

Audio Summer of Love. Free party with special guest DJ, David Parr. 11pm–3am, £free.

Brighton Coalition Floorplay. Launched last month with a space zapping record turn out!

Prok and Fitch return with guest Sean Hughes, kicking out future house sounds made for the dancefloor. 10:30pm–4am, £10/8/6.

Digital Kinky Malinki. Throw some dirty dance floor grinds to superstar DJ, Seamus Haji’s electro-tinged house vibes. 11pm–5am, £8 adv.

Engine Rooms Rock Karaoke. Sing your favourite rock and punk anthems with a live backing band, no head-eating permitted.

11pm–3am, £5.

Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice FM’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10.

Then: La Manana. DJ Marlon pushes out cutting edge house, electro and techno. 3am, £10/5.

Honey Club Sevensins. Lounge around in the back bars or dance to big room electro, trance and house. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5.

Ocean Rooms Toolroom Knights. With Richard Dinsdale. Diggin’ up the underground and crashing through boundaries with blazing new talent in house DJs. Followed by Blow the Elektro after-party. Contact venue for details.

Pavilion Tavern Mod For it. Park up your Vespa and kick out with the likes of The Who, The Kinks and more. 10pm–2am, £5/4.

Po Na Na Silk. DJs blend the finest urban soul, electro-tinged pop and a mish-mash of bootlegs. 10pm–3:30am, £10/8.

The Hanbury Club We Luv Pop. Throw your head back and scream for the Bad Boys with strings! I sense a tide of Oasis, Guns ‘n’ Roses and The Rolling Stones. 9:30pm–2am, £8/6.

Tru Glitterbaby. Get on your ‘smart jeans and fashion trainers’ for commercial chart tunes over three rooms. 10pm–3am, £10/7.

Volks Bust the Box. A month or so on from donning miniskirts and pulling 72-hour stints, the Bust the Box boys storm the Volks. God knows what they will do next... £tba. Contact venue for details.

Jaime Pettit gets a taste of the Balearics at Brighton club night Spunk!

If the Sony Bravia promoters made club décor...this would be it. Boldly coloured dogs and pink ‘n’ lime sploshed TVs blasted my retinas as well as Barbie-pink tutus, glo sticks and skin-becoming PVC. The men behind sleazeville at Manumission Ibiza, Tom King and Simon Young blasted in like a burst dinghy from across the seas, with a true dose of European sunshine. As they boshed-out feet-puppeteering dance tracks we met our first friend of the evening, Dino, who instantly whacked it out from his trousers (the bottle!) and produced two shot glasses from his pockets and the Tuaca had landed! He had such whimsical words, and with philosophies like ‘a smile on your face is a happy place’ we snapped him up.

As everybody bathed in the infections rhythms, there comes a time even we need to sit down, ahoy; room two. I was in a scene from Carry On Abroad – walls displaying less than subtle phallic islands and bikinis dangling above with beach party play-outs setting the scene.

When I wasn’t blindfolding, spinning and spanking, dance/jigging, watching breakdancers, receiving wine fountains or licking the décor, I was learning the religious ways of the rear and how to best appreciate it with a fly-swat, or having Edward Scissorhands run a number on my hair.

Tom King’s hedonistic night, Spunk!, was like taking a sorbet slap: exotic, fruity and refreshing – a far cry from the grimy headbanging of beer boys in basements, or the hardcore scene. The first rule of Spunk!?

Take nothing seriously but silliness itself, maybe I’ll bake myself some clothes next time, don the essential wig, perhaps even indulge in some ritual fly-swatting. Either way, I’m taking my towel poolside to reserve a seat for the next one. I loved it!

Photos by: Rob DeBanks, Spunk@Brighton Coalition

Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco.

10pm–2am, £3/2.

Digital Glitterati. A classy night for students and their friends. 11pm–3am, £3 guest and NUS, £4 others.

Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal, punk and emo mash-up.

10:30pm–2am, £2/1.

Po Na Na Tap. Tap into your urban side with bassline, hip-hop and R’n’B. 11pm- 4am, £5/4 NUS, ladies free ‘til 12.

Tru Cherry Drop. Student night with club anthems, classic house, R’n’B, plus drinks promos. 10pm–2:30am, £Free b4 11, 3/2 after.

Water Margin International student party.

Drinks promos all night. 10pm–5am, £5/3.

Saturday 12

Jaime ‘til dawn

Sunday 13 Audio Brighton Carnival afterparty. Bang your pan and park up your unicycle to continue the carnival fiesta with the official after-party.

8pm–late, £tba. Contact venue for details.

Honey Club Sundelicious. DJs Salerno and Lee Garrett play soulful beats followed by jackin’ house and electro. 10pm–3am, £2/1.

Monday 14 Honeyclub Disco Babe. Disco and indie with most drinks £1.50 all night long.

10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1.

Po Na Na Fatpoppadaddys. Student friendly mix of funk, reggae, indie and pop.

10pm–2:30am, £3/2/1.

Volks Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, bashment, roots and revival plus drinks promos.

10pm, £4.50/3.50.

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory at latest7.co.uk/listings

latest 7 35

036_LS380 gay news/will

7/3/08

2:33 PM

Page 2

LATESTGAY

See more at latest7.co.uk

Brighton’s only weekly gay guide

William Tells

NEWS

Will Harris wonders whether gay men and lesbians are cut out for marriage “He’s the only gay in the divorce courts!” roars my evening paper, which for some reason I hear in my head as a hearty, knee-slapping, Brian Blessed-type voice. Perfect for light-hearted stories about rogue squirrels, but perhaps a slightly insensitive way to report the end of a relationship. Beneath the headline is an article announcing Little Britain star Matt Lucas’s divorce from his partner Kevin McGee, at the end of a high-profile civil partnership that lasted just 18 months.

It was only a matter of time. Since civil partnerships were introduced to the UK, gay men and lesbians have gone from only having to consider the prospect of ‘D.I.V.O.R.C.E’ when slurring it down a microphone at The Queen’s Arms country karaoke extravaganza, to actually going through the dreaded process themselves. And many of them, I’ve noticed, don’t even make it to their paper anniversary before they’re filing papers of their own.

Take Pete Burns. Back in 2006, the former Dead Or Alive singer announced his engagement to long-term partner Michael Simpson by showing off their ‘hers and hers’ Vivienne Westwood engagement rings on the sofa of TV’s first couple Richard and Judy.

Tessa Watson (left), Pride office manager, and Lesley Burn, chief executive

Anyone for ice cream?

If you’re licking your lips at the prospect of another fabulous Pride there's only one place to go. Scoop and Crumb natural ice cream makers in East Street have launched a special Pride-edition flavour to raise money for the charity behind the festival.

The dessert, called Pride Passion, is made with fresh passion fruit, rum-soaked raisins, caramel pieces and real chocolate. Half the profits will go to Pride (South East) Ltd. Ice cream maker Jonathan Dickson, who runs the shop with his wife Helena, said: “I have lived in Brighton all my life, my kids go to school here and I wanted to give something back. I think Brighton Pride is a fantastic part of Brighton life and culture. It is an honour to be able to support it.”

Lesley Burn, Pride’s chief executive, said: “This is a really great idea. It puts a smile on people’s faces and it opens up Pride to everybody.”

Scoop and Crumb opened last October and supplies ice cream to local shops and restaurants including Momma Cherri's. Pride Passion is £1.85 for one scoop and £2.60 for two scoops.

Pride is desperately searching for volunteers to help out with this year’s parade and party in Preston Park, even for as little as an hour. Visit www.brightonpride.org email office@brightonpride.org or call 01273 775939.

Kick-start your Pride this year with Mind Out For Laughs the second annual fundraiser for MindOut and Brighton and Hove LGBT Switchboard, both of which provide support to those in the LGBT community who suffer from mental health problems.

Golden Handbag Awards Club Personality of the Year Dolly Rocket will be contributing her ample talents, beautiful 39-yearold Miss Hope Springs will be singing her original comedy cabaret songs, there will be stand-up from Brighton’s only trans boy princess Eli Fleali and the hilarious Debra-Jayne Appleby. This evening of fun and frolics will be hosted by Kroon Kat Lounge and Kroon Dolly Rocket, Nicky Mitchell, Miss Hope Kittens regular Nicky Mitchell.

Springs and bottom row Romany Diva of Magic We will be joined by the brilliant Fake Bush and the diva of magic, Romany, Magic Circle Magician of the Year, as well as the fantastic Jaq Bayles.

“Last year was a tremendous success and we raised over £800 towards keeping our flagship operations going,” says MindOut manager Helen Jones.

“This year we are booking the bigger room at the Komedia as we hope to have even more of a fun night raising funds for this important cause.”

MindOut and Switchboard receive grants and donations, but that doesn’t go all the way to covering the cost of the weekly support groups, advice, information and advocacy, including suicide-prevention work, the counselling and helpline services they provide.

Komedia, 8:30pm, Thursday 31 July 2008, £10/8

36 latest 7

Jerry Lebens info@photo-media.org

Mind Out for Laughs

“Sounds like a fairy story, doesn’t it? But, sadly, for these fairies it lasted all of ten months” “We’re so happy,” gushed the blushing bridezilla. “Me and Michael are naturally connected.”

Awwww! Sounds like a fairy story, doesn’t it? But, sadly, for these fairies it lasted all of ten months, with their fledgling civil partnership screeching to an abrupt halt earlier this year. In an interview with the Daily Mail, Mr Burns gave his own inimitable take on the perils and pitfalls of gay marriage.

“I view marriage as a sacred institution,“ he said, “but I think two men naturally are predators. One’s on Hampstead Heath meeting men, the other one’s hiring rent boys. Gay relationships are a commercial break, not a whole movie.”

If that’s the case, Pete, yours definitely went out after the watershed, but I wonder if the acid-tongued horror might have a point. With as many as two-in-five UK marriages now ending in divorce, and the rates higher still for couples without children, should gay people be running down the aisle or running for the exit?

The short answer is yes, of course gays and lesbians deserve to have their romantic relationships officially recognised, as long as they’re doing it for the right reasons. When civil partnerships were first introduced, it was obvious there would be a massive rush to get involved, purely because: a) our people have always liked being the first to try out new things; and b) the gays love a party. But for every Terry and June there’s also a Britney and Kevin, and I wonder if what we’re seeing now is the backlash to all those couples who got married just because they could.

That’s not to say that, as the once-bitten Pete Burns would have us believe, gay marriage is a total waste of time. Hey, at least we’ve got one thing on our straight counterparts: if our blessed unions all go bellyup, we can drink gin and make bitter musical-theatre jokes about being The Gay Divorcee.

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 150 ACROSS: 7 Pergola 8 Throw 9 Ingot 10 Bandage 11 Concertina 14 Propaganda 17 Liqueur 19 Treat 20 Twine 21 Advance.

DOWN: 1 Brigand 2 Footwear 3 Rabbit 4 Eton 5 Friar 6 Sweetheart 9 Incomplete 12 Negative 13 Antenna 15 Portal 16 Squid 18 Ewer.

Solution to Quick 150 ACROSS: 7 Banshee 8 Rhine 9 Flair 10 Abscess 11 Capability 14 Accelerate 17 Imitate 19 Strut 20 Utter 21 Earnest.

DOWN: 1 Unhappy 2 Cherubic 3 Detail 4 Iris 5 Tiger 6 Persistent 9 Fictitious 12 Treasure 13 Barrier 15 Eleven 16 Ditty 18 Aura. © Crossword Shop

If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk

037_LS380_gay listings

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11:05 AM

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GAY

For full listings & venues go to latest7.co.uk

GAYLISTINGS 8–14 July Dave Lynn

The Basement Club@Legends Celebration.

Dolly Rocket presides over the cabaret from The Chavettes. DJs Steve Lush and Alex Baker play girly pop and handbag tracks. 11pm–4am, free before midnight/£4 after.

Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack. DJ Andy B hosts a great party night. Plus Open the Box and a chance to win a cash prize.

12noon–12.30pm, free.

Saturday 12

Tuesday 8 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro Amsterdam Spice!

The Amsterdam’s new curry night. Enjoy a curry, rice, poppadom and a Cobra beer for only £6.99.

Plus a Bollywood movie! Sauna open 5pm–4am.

Candy Bar Twisted Karaoke night hosted by Mistress of Mic, Cat. DJ Rocket 9pm–2am, free.

Legends Bar Terrace and lounge bar open all day.11am–5am, free.

Queen’s Arms Karaoke with Betty Swollocks (9pm). 12 noon–11.30pm.

Wednesday 9 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro. Karaoke with Miss Joyride (8pm). Food served from 11am–8pm.

Sauna open 5pm–4am residents £5/£8.

Candy Bar Rack Em Up. Featuring local legend DJ Aquarius spinning timeless retro tunes designed to incite nostalgia on the dancefloor.

9pm–2am, free.

Legends Bar Terrace and lounge bar open all day.11am–5am.

The Basement Club@Legends Play with DJ Alex Baker. Uplifting house and dance anthems.

All drinks £2 until 1am. 11pm–4am, free.

Queen’s Arms Drag with No Name in No Names Numb Nuts (9pm). Back by popular demand the brilliant Drag with No Name performs in her summer season show. A night of fun and games. 12noon–11:30pm, free.

Thursday 10 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro. Relax and unwind with lunch on the terrace or in the restaurant.

Food from 11am–8pm. Sauna open 5pm–4am.

Candy Bar Big Maria’s Big Night Out! Big Maria invites you to her new weekly big night out with saucy drag queen DJs playing super cheesy tunes and almighty party fun and frollocks galore. 9pm–late, free.

Legends Bar Terrace and bar open all day. Bar open: 11am–5am.

The Basement Club@Legends Eddie K’s Jukebox. Tonight Eddie brings a taste of London to Brighton midweek. 11pm–4am, free.

Queen’s Arms Pride’s Got Talent. Heat Six. It’s the contest that gets the winner onto the cabaret tent stage at Pride in Preston Park in front of thousands of people. 12 noon–11.30pm, free.

Religion@Charles Street Golden Handbag Award winner for best club – two floor Religion with Mother Superior Joan Bond, DJ Tony B, Lil Alex, Mikalis and Billie. Anthems, funky house.

10pm–late £4/3, NUS free.

Amsterdam Bar and Bistro Sun Downers.

Join for some of the best beach house music in Brighton. Chill out with friends and watch the sun go down over our beautiful seafront.

Candy Bar Sugar. Brighton best girl DJs on rotation: Including Golden Handbag Award, Best Female DJ Queen Josephine. 9pm–late, free before 10pm/£4 before midnight/£6 after.

Legends Bar Terrace and bar open all day and pre Ignition with pure pop sounds. 7pm.

11am–5am, free.

The Basement Club@Legends Ignition. Ignite your life at Brighton’s latest gay popular Saturday night with the cool dance sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free before 12/£5 after.

Queen’s Arms Saturday Afternoon Live at the Queen’s Arms. Vocalists, comedy, drag shows and karaoke. 3.30–5.30pm, free. Then Kamp Kevin hosts a disco and karaoke party.

12noon–12:30pm, free.

Sunday 13 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro Start your Cabaret Sunday with a homemade, traditional Sunday Roast (12 noon–5.30pm). Then join the sensational Dame Connie Conway as she hosts her karaoke show 8pm–1am. Sauna open 5pm–4am.

Candy Bar Eurotrash. Featuring a smorgasbord of guest bands, artists, photographers, performances and bizzarro. Resident record players including Size O Albino, Lola Fer Fifi and Rujd Sportz.

Legends Bar Cabaret with Sandra (3.15pm).

Followed by all day chill out bar. Free. 11am–5am.

The Basement Club@Legends Embrace. With G-A-Y DJ Nick Shepherdson. 11pm–4am, free.

Queen’s Arms Karaoke (3pm), then top cabaret from Pat Cruise (5.30pm) followed by more karaoke (7pm). Open 2–11pm.

Sunday Sundae@Audio Brighton’s legendary Sunday social occasion gets bigger and better for the summer season. DJs Richard Jones, Diablo and Kate Wildblood will be playing unique eclectic mix of old skool house and pop classics so expect the unexpected. £3 before 7pm/£4 before 8pm/£5 after 8pm.

Monday 14 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro A night of musicals on the big screen. A la carte menu available from 11am–8pm.

Candy Bar Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix.

10pm–2am £3/2.

Legends Bar Dave Lynn and special guests 11am–5am, free.

The Basement Club@Legends DJ Steve Lush with the greatest anthems. 11pm–4am, free.

Queen’s Arms Cherry Poppin’s karaoke show.

9pm. Drink promos.12 noon–midnight, free.

Candy Bar girls

Friday 11 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro The Jazz Lounge with Wesley Sebastian. Relax and unwind to the unique sound of soulful swing and intimate jazz.

Food from 11am–8pm. Sauna open 5pm–4am.

Candy Bar Booty Call. DJ Rocket plays an eclectic mix of urban grinds and pop anthems.

Special guest DJ Re-Styla. 9pm-–ate, free entry before 10pm/£4 before midnight/£6 after.

Legends Bar Terrace and bar open all day and pre Celebration with pure pop sounds. 7pm.

11am–5am, free.

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details

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038_LS380_TVIntro

4/7/08

11:04 AM

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latestTV

Vicky on TV

What’s hot on the box

Bonekickers Tuesday 8 July, BBC1 at 9pm From those clever people that brought us Spooks comes the pretty exciting Bonekickers. What you’d get if Indiana Jones, Time Team and The Da Vinci Code had a scrap and left a bit of each of them on the pavement afterwards, collected by the TV budget of Primeval. In short, really rather good drama. Plus, it has the added bonus of starring lovely telly hottie Adrian Lester as the cool head in a hot world – there always is one in these kind of collectives. In fact, the team is made up of not the most original typecasts, so it’s pretty darn good that they’re all a whizz in the acting department.

Heading up our intrepid academics is Gillian, played

by Julie Graham. A strong lady with a quick temper with a back story of a nutty mother who also used to dig old things up and look at them sternly. Whether she’s really nutty or not we don’t know, but we do know that anyone who mentions said parent gets a look that yearns to thump the offender, and is bound to before the series is out.

Then of course there’s ‘boozy but full of a mixture of eccentric and useful information fella’, Dolly. The slightly older uncle bloke you know has always got a flask of something ferreted away – as he demonstrates in this very episode. Why, this could quite possibly be a set-up episode for an entire series.

“Each of them brandish huge swords and hair gel, detracting from the believability of their vigilantism” Of course there’s the aforementioned Mr Lester, cool head and all that. And the gifted student with her own agenda who joins the crew right now. Details unknown adds her own kind of mystery. Told you they were characters you’d seen drawn before somewhere. Luckily, when they all come together they make rather a jolly band of archaeologists.

Tony Robinson would be proud of the care they take with their dig and back stories they construct from their relics.

Kicking off at quite a pace, an initial brush with the history de jour – the Knights Templar – sees them chased by a certain Paul Nicholls (isn’t he good at playing unbalanced religious sorts? Takes us back to his stint on st’Enders) and his mate. Each of them brandish huge swords and loads of hair gel, rather detracting from the believability of their vigilantism. I’m used to my religious armies having battles in the middle of fields, not sporting the latest styles from Vidal Sassoon. They’re joined by their zealous right-wing leader brandishing his own pointy thing. It’s all a great yarn, although a bit more graphically violent than you’d expect of a Tuesday night. Loads to learn from though so a cracking series should be coming off the back of this smashing if slightly clunky set-up.

38 latest 7

Films on TV

8 – 14 July

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 8

SATURDAY 12

Cabaret ★★★★✩

Cor Blimey ★★★✩✩ (2000, BBC2, 9pm. Dir Terry Johnson) The ongoing affair between Barbara Windsor and Sid James is the driving force behind this British TV movie looking at the life and times of the Carry On troupe. He’s portrayed as a lecherous old man who finally finds love with bubbly Babs. Shown as part of a night of Carry On flicks on BBC2.

(1972, BBC1, 11.35pm. Dir Bob Fosse) Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome to the first ever musical to be given an ‘X’ certificate: a divinely decadent recreation of Christopher Isherwood’s acclaimed short stories. Liza Minnelli stars as the sexy hoofer determined to party her way through the coming of the Third Reich.

WEDNESDAY 9 LA Story ★★★✩✩ (1991, ITV2, 9pm. Dir Mick Jackson) Steve Martin is a wacky TV weatherman whose life is changed forever by a talking billboard in this cutesy romantic comedy that doubles as a love letter to La La Land. Look out for a young Sarah Jessica Parker doing her best Valley Girl impression as Martin’s rebound romance.

THURSDAY 10 International Velvet ★★★✩✩ (1978, TCM, 6.55pm.

Dir Bryan Forbes) Tatum O’Neal gets geed up for the British Olympic Equestrian Team in this thirty-years-too-late sequel to the ultimate horse-lovers flick, National Velvet. Elizabeth Taylor wisely declined to reprise her role, her shoes ably filled by the director’s wife, Nanette Newman.

FRIDAY 11 Taking Sides ★★★✩✩ (2001, BBC2, 11.35pm. Dir István Szabó) American army major Harvey Keitel interrogates ‘Hitler’s favourite conductor’ Wilhelm Furtwängler (Stellan Skarsgård) in post-war Berlin courtesy of this fascinating dramatic two-hander. Was Furtwängler a redeemed fascist – or just trying to create beauty under a brutalising regime? The movie cleverly raises more questions than it answers.

Kill Bill Vol 2 ★★★★✩ (2004, BBC1, 11.45pm.

Dir Quentin Tarantino) Uma Thurman needs to despatch the one-eyed psycho nurse (Daryl Hannah), and Bill’s beery bro Budd (Michael Madsen) before she offs the man himself in the second part of Tarantino’s chop sockey epic. Not as visceral as the first ‘volume’ – but provides much needed closure for film nerds.

Red Eye ★★★★✩ (2005, BBC1, 10pm. Dir Wes Craven) Innocent hotel manager Rachel McAdams becomes part of terrorist Cillian Murphy’s plans to assassinate US top brass when he sits next to her on a red eye flight in this entertaining thriller from horrormeister Wes Craven. Cue plenty of effective suspense as she attempts to get to the ground in one piece.

SUNDAY 13 Pulp Fiction ★★★★✩ (1994, BBC2, 10.20pm.

Dir Quentin Tarantino) After taking in the thrills of Kill Bill Vol 2 on Friday night, tune in this evening for Tarantino’s finest multi-faceted crime film. The best part? Definitely the pre-credits sequence with ‘Honey Bunny’ and partner preparing their illfated plan to rob a restaurant.

MONDAY 14 Jennifer 8 ★★✩✩✩ (1992, Five, 11.05pm. Dir Bruce Robinson) A great cast is wasted on rubbish material in this bland thriller which finds cynical tec Andy Garcia hot on the heels of a serial killer who specialises in murdering blind women. Uma Thurman is chucked in as Andy’s love interest, the blind room mate of one of the victims.

Red Eye, Saturday 12, BBC1, 10pm

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tuesday 8 Extraordinary Animals Five, 7.30pm The small and fuzzy animals – that in yesteryear would’ve seen the sharp end of a farmer’s sharp thing – show off their talents this week. From rats trained to detect patients with tuberculosis and detect landmines – not at the same time – to ferrets that can unblock pipes. Didn’t they used to call this animal experimentation?

Confessions ITV1, 11.40pm Ever got that sneaking suspicion that all is not necessarily right at the bar? You don’t know the half of it. In the latest in this tell-all series the bar staff of our great nation spill all on the tricks and the cons of the trade, from nasty ‘extras’ in your drink to taking advantage of an undiscerning palate. Drinker beware.

Wide Sargasso Sea BBC4, 10.30pm Jean Rhys’s prequel to Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre has garnered much critical acclaim. Fleshing out the history and back story of the tragic first Mrs Rochester, known popularly as ‘the mad woman in the attic’, this drama based on the novella tells of rumour, paranoia and a cultural divide. All still going strong.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash in the Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.30 Time Warp Trio 3.50 ChuckleVision 4.05 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 4.10 Dinosapien 4.33 The Owl 4.35 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 9.10 Charlie and Lola 9.25 Fimbles Songtime 9.30 Big Barn Farm 9.45 Nina and the Neurons 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Escapade In Japan (1957) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living in the Sun 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News and Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.00am The Cubeez 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 9.55 ER 10.55 Without a Trace 11.45 In Your Dreams 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 FILM: The Ghost and Mrs Muir (1947) 2.25 Selling Houses Abroad 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

6.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Love’s Abiding Joy (2006) 5.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Speedway 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 2.30pm Speedway 4.30 NFL – Total Access 5.30 LIVE Twenty20 Cup Cricket 9.00 Ladies English Open 10.00 Poker 11.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 1.00am Football Asia 1.30 Ladies English Open 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 Ladies English Open

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Roxy is having the time of her life. Yikes! Likely to spell trouble with that one.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Medical drama.

Ric’s concern for Abra impacts on his career. Can anyone else spot an Abra-shaped catastrophe crescendo on the horizon?

9.00 Bonekickers Archeological drama series. The excavation leads to the hunt for the True Cross. Brilliant archeologist Dr Gillian Magwilde and her team race to uncover the truth.

Lara Croft eat your heart out.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Imagine... Love, Loss and Anthony Minghella Alan Yentob looks at the work of Anthony Minghella, the celebrated and Oscarwinning director of The English Patient and The Talented Mr Ripley, who died suddenly in March.

11.35 FILM: Cabaret (1972) Starring Liza Minnelli, Joel Grey and Michael York. Bob Fosse’s prize-winning musical.

1.35am Weatherview 1.40 Sign Zone: 9/11: The Conspiracy Files 2.40 Criminal Justice 3.40 New Blues 4.10 A Taste of My Life

6.00 Eggheads Quiz-a-naggle-noodle time.

6.30 Animal Park Ben Fogle takes some tongue-twisting tasty treats to the giraffes. No Peter Pipers were harmed in the making of this programme.

7.00 Meerkat Manor The Whiskers’ leader, Rocket Dog, struggles to keep everything under control.

7.30 Return to Vets in Practice New series revisiting the characters and stories that made the docu-soap a 90s TV sensation.

8.00 Sports Mastermind Des Lynam hosts a spin off series of the classic quiz. Lovin’ that ‘tache.

8.30 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage Architect and historian Francesco da Mosto embarks on a journey to cross the Mediterranean.

9.00 Richard Hammond Meets Evel Knievel Richard Hammond spends four days with his childhood hero, Evel Knievel, shortly before the legendary stuntman’s death. No paranoia here, move along.

10.00 The Culture Show Lauren Laverne meets David Simon, creator of cop series The Wire. Plus Verity Sharp marks the 50th anniversary of musician Vaughan Williams’ death.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 9/11: The Conspiracy Files Delves into the final mystery of 9/11: a third tower.

12.20am Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Donald’s formidable daughter Anna arrives in the village.

Katie secretly books a date for the caesarean. Miles is devastated to see Jasmine and Jake kissing. Why do soap couples always snog in public?

8.00 Crash Scene Investigators Following Devon and Cornwall police’s dedicated team of accident investigators.

9.00 Doc Martin The Doc is forced to visit a strange family who are suffering chronic stomach disorders, and is dismayed when PC Mylow’s sister arrives in town to set up an alternative therapy practice. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Kingdom There’s chaos at the offices of Kingdom and Kingdom.

Gloria hasn’t shown up for work, Beatrice is plotting to win Alan back – by using Lyle, and there’s a squirrel in the attic. Ach! What else could happen? A crow in the barn?!

11.40 Confessions See highlights.

12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.10 Hancock Premiere 1.40 Hack 2.30 Loose Women 3.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Dom and Tina tell Jacqui they need some time alone.

Not with a gobby child-obsessed sister hanging around. Just for a bit.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 10 Years Younger The team makeover part-time sales assistant Jane Sandiford from Surrey, who despite working in a cosmetics store is clueless when it comes to beauty products. Plus a look at alternative treatments to chemical peels and a guide to modern veneers. Yikes!

There’s gotta be a low budget horror in there somewhere.

9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Gordon goes back to the floor at a Chinese restaurant as a junior chef, and also finds out why the animals at London Zoo are eating better than the humans. Better teeth?

10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house.

11.05 Reaper Sam requests some time off to go to a concert with Andi, but the Devil refuses. Who’d have thought the Devil would be a hard taskmaster?

12.05am British Triathlon Grand Prix 2008 1.00 KOTV 1.30 Big Brother Live 3.25 ER 4.10 Richard and Judy 5.10 Red Bull Air Race 2008

6.00 Home and Away Roman punishes Nicole for her bad behaviour. Bad little girl temptress minx daughter! That’ll work.

6.30 Wild Animal ER Kate takes a crash course in bird dentistry. Do birds have teeth? Breaking news...

7.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Extraordinary Animals See highlights.

8.00 Camilla’s Family Affair: Revealed Historical doc profiling Alice Keppel, the mistress of King Edward VII and great-grandmother of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Roger Daltrey gueststars as a legendary Vegas mobster.

10.00 CSI: NY The CSI team investigates a murder tied into a string of spy-themed robberies.

11.00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit A doctor attempts to falsify a paternity test naming him as the father of an infant who was murdered shortly after birth.

12.00am The FBI Files 1.05 European Drag Racing 1.30 IndyCar 2.15 Race and Rally UK 2.40 Motorsport Mundial 3.05 Rolex Grand Am 3.55 Motocross of Nations 4.45 ETU Triathlon 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Pipeline Adventures 8.30 Wild Spirits 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Bowls 11.00 Sports Adventure 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Bass Fishing 1.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 1.30 Golf 3.00 World Motor Sport 5.30 Golf 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Football Asia 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Bowls 1.00 Bowls

Sky Sports 3 9.30am Golf 11.00 Pipeline Adventures 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Pipeline Adventures 12.30 Wild Spirits 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Bowls 4.00 Bowls 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 8.00 Bowls 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Rally Fever 11.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 12.00am UIM F1 Powerboating 12.30 PSA Squash Tour 1.30 PSA Squash Tour

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Las Vegas 1.00 Cold Case 2.00 Wonderfalls 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm in the Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 FILM: The Matrix (1999) 11.40 Bones 12.40am Road Wars 1.40 Futurama: Welcome to the World of Tomorrow 1.50 Cold Case

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle (x2) 9.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Summer Heights High 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Britain’s Missing Top Model 12.15am The Real Hustle (x2) 1.45 Alesha: Look But Don’t Touch 2.40 Snog Marry Avoid? 3.10 Shopping is My Life

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Tiger Spy in the Jungle 9.00 What Happened Next? 10.00 The Armstrong and Miller Show 10.30 Wide Sargasso Sea. See highlights.

12.00am The Twenties in Colour: The Wonderful World of Albert Kahn 1.00 What Happened Next?

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Coleen’s Real Women 8.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 9.00 FILM: The Skulls (2000) 11.05 FILM: LA Story (1991) 1.00am The Black Donnellys

2.00pm Pie in the Sky 3.00 On the Buses (x2) 4.05 Great Garden Detectives 5.05 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 8.00 Pie in the Sky 9.00 Clocking Off 10.00 Taggart 11.35 Robin of Sherwood 12.45am Maigret 2.05 PD James: Shroud for a Nightingale 3.05 Upstairs, Downstairs

9.45am One Tree Hill 10.40 Smallville 11.35 Gilmore Girls 12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Smallville (x2) 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.30 Big Brother: Live

4.00pm A Place in the Sun Revisited (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 First Cut: The Last Freak Show 9.00 River Cottage: Gone Fishing 10.00 True Stories: Cafe De Los Maestros 12.00am The Closer 1.00 True Stories: Cafe De Los Maestros

2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Paranormal State (x2) 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.20pm My Family 4.00 The Two Ronnies 5.00 Some Mothers do ‘Ave ‘Em 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 The Vicar of Dibley 10.20 The Royle Family 11.00 Little Britain 11.40 The Vicar of Dibley 12.20am The Royle Family

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 South Park (x2) 12.50am Sex and the City (x2) 2.00 Linc’s

2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Survivorman 10.00 Alaska: Surviving The Last Frontier 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Deadly Visions (2004) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 12.00am FILM: Slayer (2006) 1.40 The Lost World

10.30am Topaz (1969) 12.55pm Saturday Night And Sunday Morning (1960) 2.30 The Big Clock (1948) 4.15 The Inn Of The Sixth Happiness (1958) 7.00 Rio Grande (1950) 9.00 Shane (1953) 11.00 Support Your Local Sheriff!

(1969) 12.45am The Big Clock (1948)

12.40pm Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 2.20 Better Luck Tomorrow (2003) 4.10 Lemming (2005) 6.25 On A Clear Day (2005) 8.05 Shooting Fish (1997) 10.00 Running With Scissors (2006) 12.05am Ong-Bak (2004) 2.05 Action & Thriller Close-Up

1.00pm Carmen Jones (1954) 3.00 The Man In Grey (1943) 5.15 Timberjack (1955) 7.05 A Walk In The Clouds (1995) Keanu Reeves steps up to save a lady’s honour in this post WWII romance. 9.00 Mean Machine (2001) 10.55 The Deer Hunter (1978) 2.35am Close

11.00am This Could Be The Night (1957) 1.00pm Oliver Twist 2.35 Offset: Michael Caine 3.00 The Walking Stick (1970) 4.55 Lust For Life (1956) 7.10 Catlow (1971) 9.00 McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 11.10 Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (1958) 1.10am Ice Station Zebra (1968) 3.40 The Younger Brothers (1949)

Classics

Indie

040_LS380_TV_Wed

7/2/08

4:32 PM

Page 1

wednesday 9 Celebrity MasterChef BBC1, 8pm Ever since Al Murray grew and learnt with his fish pie on Hell’s Kitchen celebs have been happy to roll up their sleeves and get down and dirty in the kitchen. In today’s competition the culinary skills of Linda Robson, Denise Lewis, Mark Moraghan, Michael Buerk, Julia Bradbury and Liz McClaron are put to the test. Mm.

Wife Swap USA Channel 4, 11.05pm You know how some people just like to go with the flow? Take each day as it comes and keep their stress levels low? Sounds nice? Not to Melissa Johnson, bodybuilder, Ms Northern Natural USA and all round determined winner. Time to swap these two and watch the fall out. Will they learn or simply bicker it all away?

Agatha Christie’s Poirot ITV3, 8pm If your little grey cells feel like they’re running down mid-week and the modern world at large is getting you down there’s nothing better than the guilty pleasure of a bit of Poirot. Mr Suchet waxes his moustache and dons his spats for another case, as the son of an old friend and his model girlfriend find they are in danger.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash in the Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.30 Time Warp Trio 3.50 ChuckleVision 4.05 Young Dracula 4.30 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.35 Serious Ocean 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.10 Charlie and Lola 9.25 Fimbles Songtime 9.30 Big Barn Farm 9.45 Nina and the Neurons 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Rita (2003) 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast: Northern Ireland – Strangford Lough 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Open Gardens 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News and Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 9.55 ER 10.55 Without a Trace 11.45 In Your Dreams 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Will and Grace 12.55 Supporting Acts 1.15 Channel 4 Racing 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Surrender Dorothy (2006) 5.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 11.30 Football Asia 12.00pm Ladies English Open 1.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 3.00 Football Asia 3.30 Poker 4.30 NFL – Total Access 5.30 LIVE Twenty20 Cup Cricket 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 1.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Poker 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Sports Unlimited

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 My Family Sitcom about a dentist and his family.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef See highlights.

9.00 Cars, Cops and Criminals New three-part series examining the changing face of car theft. Car crime has become a sophisticated business stretching across continents and costing the country tens of millions of pounds. The show accompanies the Metropolitan Police’s Stolen Vehicle Unit to Cyprus, one of the biggest destinations for stolen cars from Britain. ‘Cos there are so many roads there.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Picked out that dream house yet?

10.45 The Visit Comedy set in the visiting room of HMP Radford.

11.15 FILM: Crazy/Beautiful (2001) Starring Bruce Davison, Lucinda Jenney, Kirsten Dunst. Modern take on the story of Romeo and Juliet.

12.50am Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: Mary, Queen of Shops 1.55 Criminal Justice 2.55 New Blues 3.25 A Taste of My Life 3.55 To Buy or Not to Buy (x2) 4.55 Joins BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz-a-phonic quiz time.

6.30 Animal Park Winston the rhino’s life-threatening arthritis and Jolly the giraffe’s bad leg are just two of the conditions investigated with the aid of a cutting-edge thermal-imaging camera.

7.00 Top Gear Jeremy, Richard and James explore the idea that you can’t be a proper petrolhead unless you have owned an Alfa Romeo by buying three slightly used Alfas, each for less than £1,000. Madness.

8.00 Sports Mastermind Des Lynam hosts a spin-off series of the classic quiz. ‘Tache-tastic.

8.30 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage Francesco and the crew of The Black Swan hit the open sea and head down the Croatian coast.

9.00 Tribal Wives The Himba are a semi-nomadic polygamous tribe of pastoralists who live on harsh sunbaked plains of Northern Namibia.

36-year-old Yvonne Power joins them.

10.00 Room 101 Comedian Marcus Brigstocke attempts to convince Paul to send his own appetite, David Blaine and personalised numberplates into Room 101.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Legends: Marty Feldman – Six Degrees of Separation Profile of Marty Feldman, one of the forgotten greats of British comedy.

12.20am Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Anna agrees to stay in the village – much to Carl’s discomfort. Has she put ants in his pants, then?

7.30 Coronation Street Rosie’s treachery puts Kevin’s livelihood in danger. She’s a minx, that one.

8.00 The Bill Beth and Will are made to stop when a box of fireworks explodes in front of them. When they discover there are more fireworks at the match – they need to make sure only their kind of sparks fly.

9.00 Marco’s Great British Feast Marco Pierre White visits Knepp Castle in Sussex, where he is shown how the meat from one of Britain’s rarest pig breeds is dry-cured from ancient oak trees.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Six Degrees Laura goes on her first date since her husband died. Whitney is horrified to learn that her ex-fiance has acquired one of her clients.

11.40 Call Girls: The Truth Documentary providing a rare insight into the world of high-class call girls.

12.35am Bingo Night Live 1.35 Quincy, ME 2.30 Hack 3.15 Loose Women 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Leo takes drastic action and buys Sasha some methadone.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location In Carlisle, Sheila needs to downsize from a family-semi to something smaller and closer to work. In Bath, Phil catches up with Sadie Yukon and Simon Gwilliam, who swapped their city townhouse for more practical accommodation.

9.00 Personal Services Required Danny and Gabriella Grasso and their daughter Sasha consider themselves a dynamic family and need someone to look after their five-bed home in Bedfordshire. Craig and Marjorie Walsh run a luxury dog resort and spa and need a housekeeper who is willing to help walk and pamper their canine guests. Will they hire the best help in this ‘try before you buy’ job interview.

10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house.

11.05 Wife Swap USA See highlights.

12.05am 4 Music: Road to V 2008 12.20 The Nokia Green Room 12.55 Stargate SG-1 1.40 Big Brother Live 4.30 Dispatches: A Widow’s War On Yobs 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away Kane is back – and he has a favour to ask Irene.

6.30 Wild Animal ER Les gets crafty while fixing a bird’s broken wing. He deftly fashions a splint from cardboard, glue and drinking straws.

Proper craft-y!

7.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Massive Speed Chris Barrie turns his attention to the dangerous world of powerboats.

8.00 Britain’s Closest Encounters Documentary series examining the most astonishing and baffling UFO stories from the UK. We’ve got our own Rosewells, don’t you know.

9.00 Extraordinary People: Outlaw Births This film follows three women as they prepare to give birth at home without medical care, midwife intervention or pain relief. This controversial system of childbirth, known as ‘free birth’, is becoming increasingly popular in the UK and America, but goes against the advice of doctors, causes concern amongst family and may not be legal.

10.00 FILM: Maximum Risk (1996) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Natasha Henstridge. Action thriller.

12.00am PartyPoker.com European Open IV 1.30 Major League Baseball 4.45 Boxing: Fight of the Week II 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Powerboating 10.00 World Cup of Pool 11.00 Poker 12.00pm Rally Fever 1.00 World Cup of Pool 2.00 PGA Euro Pro Tour 4.00 Ladies Euro Tour 5.00 European Seniors Tour 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 European Tour Weekly 8.00 PGA Euro Pro Tour 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Total Rugby 1.00 PGA Euro Pro Tour 3.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 5.00 European Seniors Tour

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Ladies Euro Tour Golf 8.00 Cricket 10.00 Sky Sports Classics 10.30 Ginetta Championship 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Ginetta Championship 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 World Cup of Pool 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Tenpin Bowling: 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Boots ‘n’ All 1.30 Watersports World 2.30 Close Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Wonderfalls 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm in the Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 9.00 50 Ways to Leave Your TV Lover 11.00 Inside: Supercops 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 FILM: Cold Mountain (2003) 11.25 Family Guy (x2) 12.10am Summer Heights High 12.40 Snog Marry Avoid?

1.10 Make My Body Younger 2.10 The Real Hustle (x2) 3.05 Snog Marry Avoid? 3.35 Britain’s Missing Top Model

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Tiger Spy in the Jungle 9.00 Black Power Salute 10.00 FILM: 3 Iron (2004) 11.25 Not Cricket: The Basil D’Oliveira Conspiracy 12.45am Black Power Salute 1.45 What Happened Next? 2.45 Black Power Salute 3.45 Close

1.00 Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 ABBA: The Mamma Mia! Story 9.00 FILM: LA Story (1991) 10.55 Coronation Street 11.25 Ghosthunting with...

Coronation Street

3.00pm On the Buses (x2) 4.05 Great Garden Detectives 5.05 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot. See highlights. 9.00 Drama Trails: Jewel in the Crown to Band of Gold 10.00 Trial and Retribution 4 12.10am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

10.40am Smallville 11.35 Gilmore Girls 12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Shameless 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live

5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 First Cut: Murderers on the Dance Floor 9.00 Kirstie and Phil’s Property Guide 9.35 Back to You 10.00 Father Ted 10.35 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 11.05 Dispatches: It Shouldn’t Happen to a Muslim 12.05am The Closer

2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Extreme: Celebrity Rehab 9.00 Living with... the Cheeky Girls 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.00pm The Two Ronnies 5.00 Some Mothers do ‘Ave ‘Em 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 The Vicar of Dibley 10.20 The Worst Week of My Life 11.00 Little Britain 11.40 The Vicar of Dibley 12.20am The Worst Week of My Life

4.00pm King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 The Sarah Silverman Programme (x2) 12.50am Sex and the City (x2) 2.00 Linc’s

2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 My Shocking Story 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 Rome: Power and Glory 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Terminal Error (2001) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Force Of Impact (2005) 11.40 FILM: The Thirst (2006) 1.20am FILM: Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers (1992)

12.25pm The Chaplin Revue (1959) 2.25 Limelight (1952) 4.45 Chaplin Today: Limelight 5.20 The Desert Rats (1953) 6.55 Operation Petticoat (1959) 9.00 The Grissom Gang (1971) 11.10 The Night Of The Hunter (1955) 12.50am Phantom Of The Opera (1962) 2.20 Chaplin Today: Limelight

9.00 Cinema Paradiso (1988) 12.00pm Ballets Russes 2.10 Action & Thriller Close-Up 2.40 The Tango Lesson (1997) 4.25 Tube Tales (1999) 6.00 Hidden (2005) 8.00 35mm 8.30 Them (2005) 10.00 Dad Savage (1998) 11.50 London To Brighton (2006) 1.25am The Top 10 Show

1.00pm The Dark Corner (1946) 3.05 The Gunfighter (1950) 4.50 Julia (1977) 7.15 Simply Irresistible (1999) 9.00 Collateral (2004) Tom Cruise gets Jamie Foxx to chauffeur him on a killing spree.

11.15 Straightheads (2007) 12.50am The Believer (2001)

10.55am The Human Comedy (1943) 1.00pm Oliver Twist 2.35 Offset: Martin Kemp On Gangsters 3.00 Gaby (1956) 4.45 The Journey (1959) 7.05 The Wings Of Eagles (1957) 9.00 The Elephant Man (1980) 11.20 Slither (1973) 1.05am Brotherly Love (1969) 3.05 The Night Of The Iguana (1964)

Classics

Indie

041_LS380_TV_Thu

2/7/08

9:36 AM

Page 1

thursday 10 Life and Death on the NHS ITV1, 9pm If you weren’t feeling thankful for the NHS after Michael Moore’s doc Sicko, this is just the top-up the powers that be love to keep us counting our blessings.

Following the stories of teenage Rebecca with a brain tumour, 26year-old Nicky waiting for a heart transplant and trauma victim Rosemary. Happy 60th NHS.

Lab Rats BBC2, 9.30pm A new sitcom from the Beeb.

Goody. Set in a university research lab this has the everyoffice elements of co-worker crushes and bickerings, with the added element of idiot savants and impossible challenges placed upon the crew. Firstly, to clone a Russian prof’s grandmother. Jo Enright rocks as dappy Cara.

Alesha: Look But Don’t Touch BBC3, 9pm This documentary from singer Alesha Dixon is not about establishing personal space, more about keeping the lines clear about what’s real and what’s not – in terms of air brushing. Is this media standard setting unrealistic goals for women, or simply looking pretty?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.30 Time Warp Trio 3.50 ChuckleVision 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Hider In The House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Pitt And Kantrop 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Secret Show 7.45 Secret Show 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 Get Squiggling 8.45 Something Special 9.00 Bob The Builder: Project Build It 9.10 Charlie And Lola 9.30 Big Barn Farm 9.45 Nina And The Neurons 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Sealed Cargo (1951) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Golf: The Scottish Open

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 9.55 ER 10.55 Without A Trace 11.45 In Your Dreams 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Will And Grace 12.55 Supporting Acts 1.15 Channel 4 Racing 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Richard And Judy

6.00-9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Hart To Hart Returns (1993) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Total Rugby 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 LIVE Test Cricket 7.00pm IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00am Rugby League 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 Motor Sport 4.30 Race World 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ronnie struggles to get through to her sister. Story of thier lives.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef In the first heat Wendi Peters, DJ Spoony and Noel Whelan cook for the judges at Belgo. In the second Debra Stephenson, Josie d’Arby and Andrew Castle cook at the National Dining Rooms.

9.00 On the Fiddle? Investigators are on the trail of a scaffolder claiming benefit for a broken foot and a couple who claim to be struggling single parents but are living together in a £350,000 house with two cars.

Meanwhile, a single mother of three finds she’s entitled to thousands of pounds’ of benefit she’s never received, because she didn’t tick the right box on the form.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Question Time Topical debate chaired by David Dimbleby.

11.35 This Week 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.50 Criminal Justice 2.50 A Taste Of My Life 3.20 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.50 Joins BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Quiz-alicious!

6.30 Animal Park Kate Humble and Ben Fogle look behind the scenes at Longleat Safari Park.

7.00 Return to Vets in Practice Documentary series following the graduates featured in ‘Vets’ School’.

7.30 Return to Vets in Practice Trude Mostue, Steve Leonard and others reflect on their relationships with the animals, with each other and with the camera crews.

8.00 Hampton Court Flower Show 2008 Rachel de Thame and Joe Swift reveal the winners of this year’s Hampton Court Palace Royal Horticultural Society Flower Show.

9.00 Mock the Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. Host Dara O’Briain is joined by regulars Hugh Dennis, Frankie Boyle, Andy Parsons and Russell Howard. With guests Michael McIntyre and Lucy Porter.

9.30 Lab Rats See highlights.

10.00 Still Game Winston has a plan that will take the local park up in the world.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Culture Show Lauren Laverne and Mark Kermode present a mix of cultural medley of stories.

12.05am Two Pints pf Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12.35 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 1.20 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Bob is concerned about Viv’s state of mind. Aren’t we all, love.

7.30 By Royal Appointment Hannah Scott-Joynt visits Richmond Park where she discovers more about the famous deer, and makes a trip to the Royal Ballet School located in the park’s famous White Lodge.

8.00 The Bill Smithy is deep undercover with arms dealer Darren Cutler, his nephew, Kieran Wallace, and Tommy Rose – a member of the notorious SE1 gang. Rose shows Smithy a gun which he says has never been used. But Stevie, posing as Smithy’s girlfriend, sneaks it away and the officers trace it to a recent murder. No! Surely not a lying crook!

9.00 Life and Death on the NHS See highlights.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 The Way We Were A nostalgic look at yesteryear, featuring the south’s favourite celebrities and rare archive footage.

11.10 Inside Crime 11.40 Bouncers Tin. Says. Exactly.

12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.10 Motorsport UK 1.40 Hack 2.25 Loose Women 3.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks It’s the day of Max’s funeral. With her mother for support, Steph insists she’s strong enough to cope as the funeral procession escorts Max out of Hollyoaks Village for the last time. OB promises he’ll never leave Tom. Poor mite.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix The Sex and the City girls are the inspiration for the catwalk showdown.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house.

10.00 The Charlotte Church Show The Welsh singer is back with a new series and a new baby. Chas’s guests are Dr Who’s Catherine Tate and Peep Show’s David Mitchell, and she attempts to infiltrate the Welsh Guards as they undertake rehearsals for the Queen’s birthday parade.

10.45 My Name is Earl Randy lets it slip to his parents that Earl was in prison and now lies in a coma when he tries to get their help with number nine on his brother’s list: spoiling his parents’ holiday.

11.15 Sunday Night Project David Hasselhoff joins the presenters.

12.20am 4 Music: O2 Wireless Festival 2008 1.20 4 Music: Road To V 2008 1.30 Big Brother Live 4.30 Trans World Sport 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away Morag wonders whether there is another woman in Ross’s life. That was quick!

6.30 Wild Animal ER Documentary series based at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire.

7.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day one of the first npower Test match between England and South Africa at Lord’s.

8.00 Property List This programme focuses on the ten best locations to buy period property.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector Renowned hotelier Alex Polizzi tackles the 43-bedroom Castle of Brecon Hotel in Wales. The hotel’s inexperienced owners are losing money and the tired rooms are in desperate need of refurbishment. Can Alex save the day?

10.00 Grey’s Anatomy After being pulled from the water, Meredith hovers between life and death.

As her friends come to terms with the possibility of losing her, Meredith battles with her demons in limbo.

11.00 Cathouse Intimate portrait of life inside one of America’s largest and best-known legal brothels.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Major League Soccer 4.20 NBA 360 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 LIVE Bowls 5.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.00 LIVE Bowls 10.00 Race World 11.00 NFL - Total Access 12.00am Motor Sport 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 Powerboating 2.00 Poker

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Clipper Around The World Yacht Race 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 10.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Clipper Around The World Yacht Race 12.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Pipeline Adventures 6.30 Motor Sport 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Bowls

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Wonderfalls 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm In The Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Bones (x2) 10.00 Empire 11.00 Road Wars (x3) 1.50am Cold Case 2.40 Airline (x2) 3.30 Cruise With Stelios (x2)

7.00pm Greek 7.45 Greek Uncovered 8.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model 9.00 Alesha: Look But Don’t Touch. See highlights.

10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Greek 12.30am Summer Heights High 12.55 Britain’s Missing Top Model

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Born To Be Wild 8.00 Tiger Spy In The Jungle 9.00 Not Cricket 2: The Captain And The Bookmaker 10.00 Samuel Johnson Prize 2008: The Contenders 11.00 BBC Four Sessions 12.00am Born To Be Wild 12.30 Not Cricket 2: The Captain And The Bookmaker

4.30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Britain’s Biggest Babies 9.00 Bionic Woman 10.00 Gossip Girl 11.00 The Charlatans Live At IndigO2 11.30 The Office: An American Workplace 12.05am Jack Osbourne: Mongol Rally 1.10 Smallville

3.00pm On The Buses (x2) 4.10 Great Garden Detectives 5.10 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 8.00 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Kavanagh QC 11.40 FILM: In The Heat Of The Night (1967) 1.45am PD James: Shroud For A Nightingale

1.20pm Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 My Name Is Earl 10.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 10.35 The Inbetweeners 11.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats 11.35 Big Brother: Live

3.00pm Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 First Cut: Johnny Congo 9.00 Tony Robinson’s Crime And Punishment 10.00 Without A Trace (x2) 12.00am The Closer 1.00 Without A Trace (x2) 2.50 Countdown

2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Men In Trees 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Ibiza 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Ibiza 2.00 Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.20pm My Family 4.00 The Two Ronnies 5.00 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.55 When Were We Funniest? 10.55 Little Britain 11.35 The Vicar Of Dibley 12.30am When Were We Funniest?

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x4) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am Sex And The City (x2) 2.00 Linc’s

2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do It? 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 10.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 Most Evil

11.00am A Town Called Eureka 12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 Peter Benchley’s The Beast 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Big (1988) 12.00am FILM: The Man Who Fell To Earth (1976) 2.30 Ghost Stories

9.50am Sunset Boulevard (1950) 11.50 Duck Soup (1933) 1.05pm The Great Dictator (1940) 3.10 A King In New York (1957) 5.00 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 7.00 Sunset Boulevard (1950) 9.00 The Killers (1964) 10.40 Hondo (1953) 12.10am Curse Of The Werewolf (1961)

11.10am Offside (2006) 12.45pm This Boy’s Life (1993) 2.40 Annie Hall (1977) 4.25 Factotum (2005) 6.05 A Scanner Darkly (2006) 7.50 The World’s Fastest Indian (2005) 10.00 Schultze Gets The Blues (2003) 12.00am Brotherhood (2004) 2.30 Annie Hall (1977)

1.00pm Jolson Sings Again (1949) 2.45 Kipps (1942) 4.55 Green For Danger (1946) 6.40 Batman Forever (1995) Val Kilmer picks up the mantle as the best known bat around. 9.00 Batman Returns (1992) Michael Keaton stars.

11.25 The Watcher (2000) 1.05am The Hired Hand (1971)

10.45am Romeo And Juliet (1936) 1.00pm Oliver Twist 2.35 The Screening Room 3.00 Ten Thousand Bedrooms (1957) 5.05 The Prisoner Of Zenda (1952) 6.55 International Velvet (1978) 9.00 The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) 11.10 Brewster McCloud (1970) 1.05am The Biggest Bundle Of Them All (1968)

Classics

Indie

000_LS380_TV_Fri

2/7/08

9:38 AM

Page 1

friday 11 Hampton Court Flower Show 2008 BBC2, 9pm Just when you thought your own hay fever was the worst ever... just take a look at these fantastic plants and flowers and feel that twitch at the top of your nose going. With rose of the year, grow-your-own enthusiasts meeting top chefs and more, this is the safest way to see it all.

Friday Night with Jonathan Ross BBC1, 10.35pm It’s the last in the current series of old Wossy’s cheeky and cheery interrogations. So, of course, there are some cracking guests. Funk diva Chaka Khan graces the sofa, as does Get Smart star Steve Carell, and Primal Scream perform their new single. We’ll miss you JR.

Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story BBC4, 9pm You know ‘facade’? That’s what this beautiful brother/sister band had buckets of. As one of the biggest selling pop acts of the 70s selling the shiny dream, they hid a few secrets, one of which ultimately resulted in Karen’s death at 32. With behind-thescenes footage and interviews.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash in the Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 RAF Anniversary 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.30 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Uncle Max 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Pitt and Kantrop 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Secret Show 7.45 Secret Show 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 Get Squiggling 8.45 Something Special 9.00 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 9.10 Charlie and Lola 9.25 Fimbles Songtime 9.30 Big Barn Farm 9.45 Nina and the Neurons 10.00 In the night Garden 10.30 FILM: Devil’s Canyon (1953) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Golf: The Scottish Open 6.00 Eggheads Quiz-illiant.

6.30 Animal Park Kate Humble bravely goes down to Wolf Wood to pick food for the tortoises. Who does that?! Buy lettuce from the corner shop like a sane person.

7.00 Festival Fever! Max Flint and his special guest presenter, Myleene Klass investigate why music and arts festivals have become such big business.

7.30 Return to Vets in Practice New series revisiting the characters and stories that made the docu-soap a 90s TV sensation. New media careers beckoning?

8.00 Gardeners’ World Gardening tips and features with Carol Klein and Joe Swift.

9.00 Hampton Court Flower Show 2008 See highlights.

10.00 QI Stephen Fry hosts the quiz show in which contestants are rewarded more if their answers are ‘quite interesting’. With Doon Mackichan, Arthur Smith, Andy Hamilton and Alan Davies.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 FILM: Taking Sides (2001) Starring Harvey Keitel, Stellan Skarsgard. Post-War Drama based on true events.

1.20am Star Trek: The Next Generation 2.05 Star Trek: The Next Generation 2.50 Malcolm in the Middle (x2)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News and Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 9.55 ER 10.55 Without a Trace 11.45 In Your Dreams 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Will and Grace 12.55 Supporting Acts 1.15 Channel 4 Racing 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Mind Of The Crime (2004) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 7.00pm Speedway 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Test Cricket 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Super League

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Having found out about Paul and Gray, Katie softens towards Perdy. Donna worries that Viv is losing control. Rodney is embarrassed when Nicola happens upon his stories. It’s a father/daughter thang.

7.30 Coronation Street Becky’s presence behind the bar leaves Steve wanting answers. Ken’s selfishness upsets Deirdre. Tony’s actions arouse suspicion in the factory. Hmm. 8.00 Country Ways A film portrait of the countryside surrounding The Hurlers in Cornwall.

8.30 Coronation Street Steve demands answers from Lloyd and Becky. Ken’s reunion leaves him feeling inadequate. Surely not the big thinking man of the Street!

9.00 A Touch of Frost The disappearance of a young boy at Denton Football Club leads Frost into a disturbing story of child abuse and paedophilia. In addition to the usual pressures in his life, Frost must also decide whether or not to accept a promotion to Chief Inspector.

11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.45 Bingo Night Live Get your cards at www.itv.com/bingonightlive.

12.50am Hack 1.40 FILM: City By The Sea (2002) 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Bart launches a comic with an angry Homer as the main character.

6.30 Hollyoaks OB waves goodbye to his friends for ever, thinking that Max is watching over them. (Sniff).

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away Johnnie and Jasmine help a couple choose between a selection of sizeable properties in Somerset and a farmhouse surrounded by 19acres in the French region of Haute Garonne. Alright for some. Clearly.

9.00 Big Brother Davina McCall announces the results into the house in a special eviction night show. Cue lots of jumping up and down and instant bitching the moment they leave the house.

10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr with show captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford and guest panellists Johnny Vegas and Gabby Logan.

10.35 Big Brother The evicted housemate’s meeting Davina McCall for a chat about their experiences.

11.05 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 12.10am 4 Music: The Shockwaves Album Chart Show: Hot Chip Special 12.45 Goalissimo!

1.35 Big Brother Live 3.40 ER 4.25 Richard and Judy 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away Ross tells Morag the truth about the other woman in his life. Canny lady, that Morag.

6.30 Wild Animal ER The vets try to get to the bottom of an unexplained spate of frog deaths. Truly.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day two of the first npower Test match between England and South Africa at Lord’s.

8.00 Superstars Athletes from a range of disciplines compete against each other in a series of sporting challenges. Based on the popular show of the 1970s and 80s.

9.00 NCIS The team probes the mysterious case of a navy commander who seems to have spontaneously combusted.

10.00 Shark Stark faces losing his career, lifestyle and freedom thanks to his involvement in a 12-year-old murder case. He is thrown a lifeline by the state attorney’s office, but soon learns that saving his own skin may come at a very high price.

11.00 Law and Order Following a murder, McCoy and Southerlyn try to circumvent the law to gain access to a crucial piece of evidence that is being withheld by the civilian owners.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.45 Out of Practice 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours Frazer

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Sky Cops 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Tensions run high as Ronnie and Archie open old wounds. Sean attempts to win over Roxy. A more lucid moment perhaps?

8.30 Celebrity MasterChef The four winning celebrity chefs from this week’s heats battle it out for a place in the semi-final.

9.00 Would I Lie to You? Panel show, hosted by Angus Deayton with team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack. Guest panellists are Rob Brydon, Robert Webb, Gabby Logan and Krishnan Guru-Murthy.

9.30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook Barker and Corbett.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Friday Night with Jonathan Ross See highlights.

11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Loadsa money!

11.40 Weatherview 11.45 FILM: Kill Bill: Vol 2 (2004) Starring Uma Thurman, David Carradine Stylish, violent sequel.

1.55am Sign Zone: Paradise or Bust 2.55 The Supersizers Go...

Elizabethan 3.55 Bill Gates: How a Geek Changed the World 4.55 Joins BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Powerboating 10.00 Motor Sport 11.00 ATP Tennis Magazine 11.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 12.00pm Rugby League 2.00 LIVE Bowls 6.00 Motor Racing 6.30 Sailing 7.00 LIVE Bowls 9.00 Golf Night 10.00 Tight Lines 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Super League 2.00 Tight Lines 3.00 NFL – Total Access 4.00 Golf Night 5.00 Pipeline Adventures 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Motor Sport 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 10.30 Pipeline Adventures 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Race World 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Powerboating 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Race World 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Bowls 3.00 Rugby Union: Currie Cup 5.00 Beach Volleyball

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Wonderfalls 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm in the Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 FILM: The Matrix (1999) 11.40 Celebrity Gladiators 12.40am Road Wars 1.40 Cold Case 2.35 Bite Size Brainiac

7.00pm The Real Hustle 7.30 T: KT Tunstall and Scouting For Girls 8.30 Doctor Who 9.35 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 T: The Verve and the Chemical Brothers 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 12.45 Trexx and Flipside 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Seaside Parish 8.00 We Want the Light: The Jews and German Music 9.00 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story. See highlights. 10.00 The Carpenters 10.40 The Carpenters: World of Music 11.25 The Avengers (x2) 1.05am Jews (x3)

1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Pushing Daisies 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.15 Bionic Woman 11.15 Coronation Street (x2) 12.15am FILM: Love Actually (2003)

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime 3.00 On the Buses (x2) 4.05 Great Garden Detectives 5.05 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 FILM: In The Heat Of The Night (1967) 11.05 Prime Suspect... Behind the Scenes 12.10am Wycliffe

11.35am Gilmore Girls 12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 How to Look Good Naked 10.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.40 Big Brother: Live

1.10pm Deal or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place in the Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 First Cut: Great Football Giveaway 9.00 FILM: Changing Lanes (2001) 10.55 Live from Abbey Road 12.00am The Closer

2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Nothing to Declare (x2) 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Nothing to Declare (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Some Mothers do ‘Ave ‘Em 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 The Vicar of Dibley 10.20 The Worst Week of My Life 11.00 Little Britain 11.40 The Vicar of Dibley 12.20am New Adventures of Old Christine (x3)

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Kitchen Confidential (x2) 12.50am Sex and the City (x2)

1.00pm The FBI Files 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Crime Scene Australia 9.00 Unsolved Murders (x2) 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 Peter Benchley’s the Beast 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: The People Under The Stairs (1991) 12.00am FILM: Vampire In Brooklyn (1995) 2.00 The Lost World

11.55am The Old Dark House (1963) 1.30pm Rio Grande (1950) 3.20 King Kong Escapes (1968) 5.00 White Savage (1943) 6.25 Modern Greats and Classics Close-Up 6.55 Some Like It Hot (1959) 9.00 The Apartment (1960) 11.10 Barbarella (1968) 12.50am Three Faces West (1940)

10.40am Syriana (2005) 12.50pm Adrift (2006) 2.35 Yesterday (2004) 4.15 Shooting Fish (1997) 6.15 Wilde (1997) 8.20 Still Crazy (1998) 10.00 Midnight Movies: From the Margin to the Mainstream 11.30 Adrift (2006) 1.15am Warrior King (2005) 3.15 Still Crazy (1998)

1.00pm Jassy (1947) 3.00 Blanche Fury (1948) 4.50 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954) 7.15 Bugsy Malone (1976) If you’ve been watching VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single this is him when he was young and sweet. Ahh. 9.00 Cellular (2004) 10.45 The Libertine (2004) 1.00am Antibodies (2005)

7.15am Once A Thief (1965) 9.00 Ten Thousand Bedrooms (1957) 11.10 The Sisters (1938) 1.00pm Adam Bede 3.00 Travels With My Aunt (1972) 4.55 Little Women (1949) 7.10 Skyjacked (1972) 9.00 Stardust (1975) 11.05 Wise Guys (1986) 12.45am All Fall Down (1962) 2.45 Alfred The Great (1969)

Classics

Indie

000_LS380_TV_sat

7/3/08

5:59 PM

Page 1

saturday 12 Superstars Five, 6.05pm Five rifles through the 70s telly schedules to bring you this rerun of the once popular sports show.

In the new version four teams, captained by Steve Redgrave, Kelly Holmes (pictured left), Mike Catt and Roger Black compete in various sporting feats. But first they’ve got to choose who they want on their side.

Gok’s Fashion Fix Channel 4, 6pm The Sex and the City gals are the style inspiration this week as Gok and Alexa attempt to mimic the HRT poster girls’ outfits on a budget of just 200 quid a throw.

Elsewhere Alexa puts some top polyester frocks to the trolley dolly test and Kelly Osbourne shares some of her designerwardrobe secrets.

Imagine…Werner Herzog: Beyond Reason BBC4, 12.05am Attention anoraks! It’s an art house cineaste’s wet dream this evening as Alan Yentob gets to grips with the legendarily uncompromising German director Werner Herzog. Preceeded by two of his most head-scrambling movie efforts: Fitzcorraldo and Aguirre: Wrath of God.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Celebrity MasterChef 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Golf: The Scottish Open 4.45 Athletics

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 Tikkabilla 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Watch My Chops 7.15 Trollz 7.35 Zombie Hotel 8.00 Only In America 8.30 Secret Show 8.45 Secret Show 8.55 MySay 9.00 Escape From Scorpion Island 9.30 Escape From Scorpion Island 9.55 The Cramp Twins 10.05 50/50 10.35 The Slammer 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Eliot Kid 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm The Sky At Night 12.20 FILM: Sweet Smell Of Success (1957) 1.55 FILM: Birdman Of Alcatraz (1962) 4.20 Monk 5.00 Murder, She Wrote 5.45 Flog It! 6.15 The Weakest Link Anne Robinson presents the quick-fire general knowledge quiz.

7.00 Dad’s Army Private Godfrey’s humble abode, Cherry Tree Cottage, is threatened with demolition to make way for new aerodrome.

7.30 FILM: Carry On Camping (1969) A pair of likely lads trick their girlfriends into accompanying them to a nudist colony – but it turns out to be a family campsite.

9.00 FILM: Cor, Blimey! (2000) Drama based on Terry Johnson’s award-winning play ‘Cleo, Camping, Emmanuelle and Dick’, about the passionate relationship between Sid James and Barbara Windsor. When Barbara joins the Carry On team, Sid works his famous charm on her – despite her imminent marriage.

10.45 Fantabulosa!

12.05am FILM: Carry On Matron (1972) British comedy with the Carry On team about a gang’s plan to raid a maternity hospital to steal a gigantic stock of birth-control pills. One of the gang, dressed as a nurse, infiltrates the facility and becomes the object of a doctor’s amorous advances.

1.35 FILM: Diary Of A City Priest (2001) 2.50 Monk

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Jim Jam And Sunny 9.40 Jim Jam And Sunny 9.55 Captain Mack 10.10 Supernormal 10.25 Horrid Henry 10.40 Emu 10.55 Tricky Quickies 11.00 FILM: An American Tail: Fievel Goes West (1991) 12.20pm ITV News And Weather 12.25 Meridian News And Weather 12.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 1.00 FILM: The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie (1969) 3.05 FILM: Summer Holiday (1963) 5.05 Meridian News And Weather 5.20 ITV News And Weather 5.35 FILM: Twins (1988)

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.50 The Nokia Green Room 9.20 Big Brother 10.25 Big Brother 10.55 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle Of The Islands 11.55 Shipwrecked 2008: The Third Island 12.30pm Shipwrecked 2008: The Hutcam Diaries 1.00 Red Bull Air Race 2008 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.05 Supernanny US

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Masters Football: Midlands Masters 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00am LIVE NASCAR 5.00 Indy Racing League

7.30 New You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill presents some more camcorder comic cuts including one cat’s unique method of coming down the stairs, and a remote controlled helicopter that gets all in a spin.

8.00 Who Dares Sings! Denise Van Outen and Ben Shepherd host the ultimate singing game show - where fifty grand is up for grabs!

9.00 Foyle’s War Sabotage, murder and adultery at a pioneering RAF burns hospital brings Foyle face to face with the devastating physical and emotional consequences of war.

11.00 ITV News And Weather The latest news headlines and a national weather forecast.

11.15 Benidorm When a quiz night is hosted at the pub, a reluctant Mick agrees that if they win he’ll take the family to the beach.

11.45 Benidorm The Garveys head to the beach and Mick, desperate not to spend any money, is furious when he is forced to buy ice creams and sunbeds for everyone - including Donald and Jacqueline.

12.15am Bingo Night Live The free to play bingo show on ITV. 1.30 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: 2.25 FILM: Lock Up (1989) 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV: Jim Jam And Sunny (x4)

6.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix See highlights.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.30 The Day Of The Kamikaze Documentary about the first mass suicide attack carried out by Japanese kamikazes on the US Third Fleet on 25th November 1944.

Hundreds of Americans died as a result; we meet some of the survivors, who tell their stories.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the Big Brother house.

10.00 FILM: Alien Resurrection (1997) The Sci-fi saga continues 200 years after Ripley sacrificed herself for the sake of humanity. Her erstwhile employers long gone, this time it is the military that resurrects the one-woman killing machine through genetic cloning to extract the alien from within her.

12.00am 4 Music: Live From Abbey Road Songs from Stereophonics, Colbie Caillat and Joan Armatrading.

1.05 4 Music: 4Play: Cut Copy 1.20 Big Brother Live 4.30 Dispatches: It Shouldn’t Happen To A Muslim 5.20 Countdown

6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 7.15 Little Princess 7.35 The Beeps 7.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.10 The SaveUms! 8.25 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The Mr. Men Show 9.05 Rupert Bear 9.20 Animal Families 9.35 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.50 Mio Mao 10.00 Britain’s Strongest Man 11.00 Warship 12.00pm Fifth Gear 12.10 FILM: Jane Doe: Vanishing Act (2005) 2.00 FILM: Wild America (1997) 4.00 FILM: The Bridge At Remagen (1969) 6.05 Superstars See highlights.

7.00 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines.

7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day three of the first npower Test match between England and South Africa at Lord’s.

Commentary and analysis from Geoffrey Boycott, Simon Hughes and Barry Richards.

8.00 NCIS Things get complicated when a suspect dies in custody and it seems that Ziva might be to blame.

8.55 NCIS Gibbs recalls his painful past when he is taken to hospital after being injured in an explosion.

9.50 CSI: NY A young hotel employee falls to her death from a hotel rooftop after she becomes embroiled in a deal with a scheming top model.

10.50 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When a photographer is found murdered and handcuffed to the steering wheel of a crashed car, Goren and Eames are drawn into the murky world of avant garde art.

11.50 Women Who Kill 12.20am Quiz Call Interactive quiz show giving viewers the chance to answer questions for money.

4.45 Out Of Practice 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

6.10 BBC News The latest national and international news, followed

by Weather.

6.30 My Family Domestic sitcom about long-suffering dentist Ben Harper and his family.

7.00 Last Choir Standing Myleene Klass and Nick Knowles host the search for Britain’s best choir.

8.00 The National Lottery: This Time Tomorrow Tess Daly hosts the new National Lottery show where being a winner tonight means being somewhere fabulous tomorrow.

8.50 Casualty Adam and Jessica grow closer but a stolen kiss might have attracted attention.

9.40 BBC News National and international BBC News, followed

by Weather.

10.00 FILM: Red Eye (2005) Thriller in which a hotel manager is kidnapped during an overnight flight to Miami after her grandmother’s funeral. All she wants to do is get back to work but the man sitting next to her has different ideas.

11.15 FILM: Metro (1997) Action thriller about a police hostage negotiator whose skills are tested to the limit when a psychopath threatens to hold the entire city of San Francisco to ransom.

1.05am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.05 Weatherview 2.10 Joins BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 LIVE Tri-Nations Rugby Union 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Speedway 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Friday Fight Night 2.00 LIVE Athletics: English Schools Athletics Championship 6.00 LIVE Super League 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 NFL: Total Access 11.00 Tri-Nations Rugby Union 1.00am Rugby Union: Currie Cup 3.00 Rugby Union: Currie Cup – Blue Bulls V Free State 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Football Asia

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Friday Fight Night 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 WWE Smackdown 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 LIVE Speedway World Cup 9.00 Golf Night 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Masters Football: Midlands Masters 5.00 UIM F1 Powerboating 5.30 Powerboating

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Gladiators (x3) 4.00 Futurama 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle (x3)6.00 Celebrity Gladiators 7.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 TV’s 50 Hardest Men 11.00 FILM: Top Gun (1986) 1.15am Road Wars 2.05 The Villa 2.55 Mile High 3.45 Greece Uncovered 4.35 Road Wars Half Hours

7.00pm T: The Kooks And The Raconteurs 8.30 Top Gear 9.30 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 10.00 T: Kaiser Chiefs And The Fratellis 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Britain’s Missing Top Model 1.15 Alesha: Look But Don’t Touch 2.15 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 2.45 T: Best Bits 4.15 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm Tiger Spy In The Jungle 8.00 FILM: Fitzcarraldo (1982) Arthouse classic. 10.30 FILM: Aguirre, Wrath Of God (1972) 12.05am Imagine... Werner Herzog: Beyond Reason. See highlights. 1.05 The Carpenters: World Of Music 1.50 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story

2.55pm Nanny 911 3.50 All Star Family Fortunes 4.35 Johnny Vegas: The Hot Desk 4.45 Animals Do The Funniest Things 5.45 Gossip Girl 6.45 America’s Got Talent 8.00 FILM: Twister (1996) 10.05 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 12.40am The Feeling Live At IndigO2 1.10 America’s Got Talent

1.40pm The Turn Of The Screw 3.40 Kavanagh QC 5.20 Inspector Morse 7.25 Cadfael 9.00 Drama Trails: Jewel In The Crown To Band Of Gold 10.00 PD James: Devices And Desires 11.05 FILM: Hand Of A Murderer () 1.00am Bramwell 1.55 Bramwell 2.50 PD James: Shroud For A Nightingale 3.50 Film File

9.50am Kevin Hill 10.40 Dark Angel 11.35 Roswell 12.25pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 12.55 Big Brother: Live 2.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.25 Friends (x2) 6.25 Big Brother (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Crocodile Dundee (1986) 10.50 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 11.55 Big Brother: Live

1.45pm FILM: The Train Robbers (1973) 3.30 Grand Designs (x3) 6.50 Grand Designs Revisited 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Time Team Special 10.00 The Real Knights Of The Round Table: A Time Team Special 11.05 The Camomile Lawn 12.15am The West Wing 1.15 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 Time Team Special

3.00pm The Jerry Springer Show (x8) 6.30 Britain’s Next Top Model 8.00 Outrageous Home Videos: Crazy Kids’ Clips 9.00 Ibiza 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Charmed 1.00 Outrageous Home Videos: Crazy Kids’ Clips 2.00 Maury 2.55 The Fix 3.00 Boston Legal 3.50 Top Chef

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.30pm Morecambe And Wise: The Greatest Moment 6.00 Only Fools’ Top 40 Moments 8.00 FILM: Ghostbusters (1984) 10.05 Blackadder The Third 10.45 FILM: Panic Room (2002) 12.50am Blackadder The Third 1.30 DIY SOS 2.00 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 3.40 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression

4.00pm Frasier (x2) 5.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 6.00 Frasier 6.30 Everybody Hates Chris 7.00 Last Comic Standing 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 Everybody Hates Chris 10.00 Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 11.40 Shortcuts Shuffle 11.50 Ed Byrne: Pedantic And Whimsical 1.05am Everybody Hates Chris

7.00pm How Do They Do It? (x2) 8.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Crime Museum UK With Martin Kemp (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body Of Evidence 12.30 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.00 Psychic Witness 2.00 Forensic Detectives

1.00pm FILM: Jack And The Beanstalk: Part 1 () 2.50 FILM: Jack And The Beanstalk: Part 2 () 4.40 FILM: Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 6.50 FILM: Short Circuit II (1988) 9.00 FILM: The Last Winter (2006) 11.00 FILM: Force Of Impact (2005) 12.40am FILM: Slayer (2006)

11.50am Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 1.45pm Indiscreet (1958) 3.30 Sabrina (1954) 5.25 The Miracle Of Morgan’s Creek (1944) 7.10 Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 9.00 House Of Bamboo (1955) 10.45 Cape Fear (1962) 12.35am The Night Of The Hunter (1955) 2.20 Torn Curtain (1966)

1.40pm Best (1999) 3.40 Shakes The Clown (1992) 5.10 The Top 10 Show 5.30 The Thin Red Line (1998) 8.20 Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 10.00 Two Days In The Valley (1996) 11.50 Shakes The Clown (1992) 1.20am Dad Savage (1998) 3.10 Best (1999)

1.00pm The Muse (1999) 2.50 Ticket To Tomahawk (1950) 4.35 North To Alaska (1960) 7.15 My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) 9.00 The Italian Job (2003) Redundant remake of the 60s classic. 11.00 One Hour Photo (2002) Creepy thriller with Robin Williams. 12.45am Tell Me Something (1999)

9.00am Travels With My Aunt (1972) 10.55 In Our Time (1944) 1.00pm High Society (1956) 3.00 The Last Time I Saw Paris (1954) 5.00 The King’s Thief (1955) 6.25 Kelly’s Heroes (1970) 9.00 Point Blank (1967) 10.35 Sweet Bird Of Youth (1962) 12.45am Alex In Wonderland (1970) 2.45 The Opposite Sex (1956)

Classics

Indie

044_LS380_TVsun

7/4/08

9:52 AM

Page 1

sunday 13 Long Way Round BBC2, 9pm Thought your holiday preparation was taking ages? Then spare a thought for Ewan McGregor (left) and Charley Boorman – who had to train hard before their epic motorbike journey. This documentary sees them brushing up road skills in Australia, sorting out visas, and learning how to avoid being kidnapped.

Billy Joel: The South Bank Show ITV1, 10.45pm He didn’t start the fire, but Mr Billy Joel certainly had a good go at setting the world alight (ahem), during the seventies and eighties, with his acclaimed vocal styling.

Tonight he gets the Sir Melvyn of Bragg treatment during a rare interview at his rather swish Long Island home.

Joanna Lumley in the Kingdom of the Thunder Dragon BBC4, 9pm Joanna Lumley retraces the footsteps of her grandfather back to Bhutan – the very last of the Buddhist kingdoms left untouched by Western technology.

She finds out what ‘progress’ is threatening to do to the people of the region.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Life 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Attic 1.30 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

1.55 Diagnosis Murder 2.35 EastEnders 4.30 Songs Of Praise 5.05 Last Of The Summer Wine 5.35 Doctor Who

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 Tikkabilla 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Legend Of The Dragon 7.25 Watch My Chops 7.35 The Batman 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Best Of Friends 8.30 Raven – The Secret Temple 9.00 SMart 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Animal Park 12.00pm Meerkat Manor 12.30 Moto GP 2.00 Golf: The Scottish Open 5.30 Athletics: Olympic Trials

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Jim Jam And Sunny 9.40 Meg And Mog 9.45 Jim Jam And Sunny 10.00 Meg And Mog 10.10 Tricky Quickies 10.15 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.30pm ITV News And Weather 12.40 Meridian News And Weather 12.45 FILM: Vertigo (1958) 3.10 FILM: Fletch Lives (1989) 5.00 Robbie Coltrane: BRoad Britain

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Trans World Sport 7.20 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 7.45 Adrenalin Rush 8.15 The Artemis Transat Race 8.40 Shipwrecked 2008: The Hutcam Diaries 9.15 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.45 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle Of The Islands 1.25pm The Nokia Green Room 1.55 Big Brother’s Little Brother 3.00 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 4.00 Alicia In Africa 4.50 The Simpsons 5.15 The Simpsons 5.45 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00am Indy Racing League 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Where Are They Now? 9.30 Cricket Writers On TV 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 Where Are They Now? 7.30 LIVE Masters Football: Central Masters 10.30 Where Are They Now? 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00am Masters Football: Central Masters 4.00 Test Cricket

8.00 Top Gear Top Gear undertakes one of its epic races as Jeremy Clarkson attempts to drive the remarkable new Nissan GT-R, right across Japan, faster than Richard Hammond and James May can make the same journey on the legendary Bullet Train.

9.00 Long Way Round See highlights.

10.20 FILM: Pulp Fiction (1994) Oscar-winning black comedy about the activities of a disparate group of LA lowlifes, giving a 1990s spin to formulic popular crime stories of the 1950s – pulp fiction. Winner of the Palme d’Or at Cannes.

12.45am Joins BBC News 3.45 The Super League Show

6.00 Country Lives Chris Beardshaw meets people from all walks of life who share a passion for their local countryside.

6.30 Meridian News And Weather A round-up of all the latest news from across the region. Includes Meridian weather.

6.45 ITV News And Weather A round-up of the latest news headlines and a national weather forecast.

7.00 The Royal Lizzie’s housewarming brings a few members of staff closer together.

8.00 Midsomer Murders When a body is discovered in woodland near Midsomer Sonning, country magazine Midsomer Life and its outspoken owner Guy Sandys come under scrutiny from Barnaby and Jones.

10.00 ITV News And Weather All the latest news headlines plus a national weather forecast.

10.15 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Singer Rod Stewart is among the stars featured in this latest batch of saucy outtakes and bloopers, narrated by Neil Morrissey.

10.45 Billy Joel: The South Bank Show See highlights.

11.45 A Match Made In Heaven 12.15am The Way We Worshipped 12.45 60 Minute Makeover 1.35 Vanessa’s Real Lives 2.25 Fat Chance (x2) 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV: Jim Jam And Sunny (4)

7.10am Rupert Bear 7.25 The Beeps 7.40 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 7.55 The Save-Ums! 8.05 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.25 Hana’s Helpline 8.40 The Mr. Men Show 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.10 Animal Families 9.25 George Shrinks 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 Monster Moves 12.00pm Ice Road Truckers 1.00 FILM: The Strongest Man In The World (1974) 2.50 FILM: Darby’s Rangers (1957) 5.05 Five News And Sport 5.20 FILM: Legally Blonde 2 (2002) 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day four of the first npower Test match between England and South Africa at Lord’s.

Commentary and analysis from Geoffrey Boycott, Simon Hughes and Barry Richards.

8.00 Auschwitz – The Great Escape: Revealed This programme uncovers the true story of the spectacular escape from the camp in 1944 by Rudolf Vrba and Alfred Wetzler, two young Slovak Jews whose authoritative account of the industrial-scale killing at the camp saved thousands of Jewish lives.

9.00 FILM: Once Upon A Time In Mexico (2003) Third in the series of films featuring the heroic, guitartoting hitman, El Mariachi. When a sinister drugs baron devises a plot to assassinate Mexico’s president, a corrupt and unstable CIA agent hires the reclusive El Mariachi to thwart his plans, a task that he is willing to undertake for personal as well as professional reasons.

10.55 Banged Up Documentary series presented by David Blunkett MP in which ten youths spend ten days in prison.

11.55 Disorderly Conduct 12.55am Major League Baseball 4.20 Ironman 5.10 Wildlife SOS

6.25 Doctor Who 7.30 BBC News National and international news, followed

by Weather.

8.00 George Gently Crime drama.

9.30 The Vicar Of Dibley Ecclesiastical sitcom about the unconventional Rev Geraldine Granger.

10.00 BBC News National and international news, followed

by Weather.

10.20 Commercial Breakdown With Jimmy Carr Jimmy Carr presents a collection of the funniest, wildest and weirdest television adverts from across the globe, as well as delivering his own incisive view on adverts, the advertising industry and everything in between.

11.00 FILM: Keeping The Faith (2000) Starring Edward Norton, Ben Stiller and Jenna Elfman. Comedy drama in which two childhood friends who have both grown up with religious vocations, one as a Catholic priest and one as a rabbi, fall for the same woman.

1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 2.05 Holby City 3.05 A Taste Of My Life 3.35 Bargain Hunt 4.20 Joins BBC News

6.45 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.00 7/7: The Angels Of Edgware Road Documentary marking the third anniversary of the 7/7 London bombings, telling the heroic stories of some of the passengers and passersby who risked injury and death trying to save the lives of others.

8.00 Personal Services Required Four-part reality series in which two individuals or families seeking domestic help are given the chance to test three candidates to see if they are suitable for the job.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours.

10.00 Sunday Night Project Entertainment and comedy series.

Eastenders star and Carry On legend Barbara Windsor joins presenters Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr for the usual mix of sketches, news and audience interaction.

11.10 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the sixth series of the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford and guest panellists Johnny Vegas and Gabby Logan.

11.40 Back To You 12.10am 4 Music: The Verve: Video Exclusive 12.15 The Charlotte Church Show 1.00 Big Brother Live 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.15 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Beach Volleyball 7.00 Test Cricket 9.00 NASCAR 1.00pm IndyCar Series 3.00 Speedway World Cup 6.00 NASCAR 10.00 IndyCar Series 12.00am The Premiership Years

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Speedway World Cup 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: Midlands Masters 3.00 World Pool Trickshots 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Beach Volleyball 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 Sailing 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 WWE Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am Golf Night 1.00 Beach Volleyball

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm Gladiators (x3) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 FILM: Top Gun (1986) 11.15 Gladiators 12.15am Road Wars 1.15 Street Wars 2.05 The Villa 3.00 Mile High 3.55 Greece Uncovered 4.45 America’s Dumbest Criminals

7.00pm T: Amy Winehouse And Kings Of Leon 9.00 Greek 9.45 Greek Uncovered 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Trexx And Flipside 11.15 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 11.45 T: REM And The Prodigy 2.00am Trexx And Flipside 2.30 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 3.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model

7.00pm Tiger Spy In The Jungle 8.00 Himalaya With Michael Palin 9.00 Joanna Lumley In The Kingdom Of The Thunder Dragon. See highlights. 10.10 Natural World 11.00 Tribe 12.00am The Accidental Angler 1.00 Born To Be Wild 1.30 Everest: Getting To The Bottom Of The Mountain 2.30 Everest ER

10.45am Gossip Girl 11.45 FILM: Twister (1996) 1.50pm Emmerdale Omnibus 4.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 7.00 ABBA: The Mamma Mia! Story.

See highlights. 8.00 America’s Got Talent 9.15 FILM: Dead Calm (1989) 11.15 FILM: Me, Myself And Irene (2000) 1.25am Isle Of Wight Festival

2.55pm Inspector Morse 5.00 The Turn Of The Screw 6.55 Dempsey And Makepeace 8.00 Those Were The Days: 69 Moon Landing 9.00 FILM: Shadowlands (1993) 11.35 PD James: Cover Her Face (x2) 1.40am PD James: Unnatural Causes 3.30 Film File 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

12.25pm Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 1.30 Big Brother: Live 3.15 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle Of The Islands 4.55 Friends (x2) 5.55 Big Brother 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny US 10.00 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 11.00 Brothers And Sisters 12.00am Big Brother: Live

1.20pm A Place In The Sun 1.55 The Coach Trip (x5) 4.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie At Home 7.55 Hugh’s Chicken Run 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares Revisited 10.00 Cutting Edge: Cotton Wool Kids 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.10am Brass Eye 12.45 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares Revisited

5.30pm The Jerry Springer Show 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 Come Rain Or Shine: From Grey’s Anatomy To Private Practice 8.00 Extreme: Celebrity Rehab 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 Ibiza 12.00am Charmed 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 Maury 2.55 The Fix 3.00 Boston Legal

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.55pm FILM: Ghostbusters (1984) 5.00 Only Fools’ Top 40 Moments 7.00 The Vicar Of Dibley Top 40 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.15 FILM: Shanghai Noon (2000) 12.15am The Thin Blue Line 12.55 Jonathan Creek 2.10 Doctor Who 3.10 Close Up 3.20 Columbo 4.30 Close Up 4.40 Icons 4.45 Dallas

9.00am Everybody Hates Chris (24) 9.00pm Scrubs 9.30 Everybody Hates Chris 10.00 Lee Evans Live At Her Majesty’s Theatre 11.20 Shortcuts Shuffle 11.30 Last Comic Standing 1.30am Everybody Hates Chris (x3) Comedy. 3.00 Baddiel And Skinner Unplanned 3.30 Everybody Hates Chris (x3)

6.00pm How Do They Do It? (x2) 7.00 Survivorman 8.00 Alaska: Surviving The Last Frontier 9.00 Unsolved Murders (x2) 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body Of Evidence 12.30 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.00 Psychic Witness 2.00 Forensic Detectives

12.50pm FILM: Short Circuit II (1988) 3.00 FILM: Big (1988) 5.00 FILM: The Phantom (1996) 7.00 Flash Gordon 8.00 FILM: Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 10.00 FILM: Vampire In Brooklyn (1995) 12.00am FILM: Death Row (2006) 1.50 Flash Gordon 3.00 Peter Benchley’s Creature

2.30pm Flight Of The Phoenix (1966) 4.55 It Came From Outer Space (1953) 6.20 The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 9.00 Broken Lance (1954) 10.40 Flight Of The Phoenix (1966) 1.05am Modern Greats And Classics Close Up 1.35 Saturday Night And Sunday Morning (1960)

12.40pm Volver (2006) 2.45 The Escapist (2001) 4.30 Them (2005) 5.50 Al Gore Meets Clive Anderson 6.20 An Inconvenient Truth (2006) 8.00 The Conversation (1974) 10.00 The Escapist (2001) 11.35 Ong-Bak (2004) 1.25am Hollywood Bombs & Blockbusters

1.00pm My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) Culture clash comedy. 2.55 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 5.00 Storm Over The Nile (1955) 7.15 Watership Down (1978) Depressing animation 9.00 Mean Machine (2001) 10.55 My Cousin Vinny (1992) 1.15am The New Age (1994) Yuppie satire.

9.00am The Last Time I Saw Paris (1954) 11.05 The Miniver Story (1950) 1.00pm Waterloo Bridge (1940) 3.00 Casablanca (1942) 4.50 Singin’ In The Rain (1952) 6.45 The Champ (1979) 9.00 Sophie’s Choice (1982) 11.40 The Last Run (1971) 1.20am Brass Target (1978) 3.15 Our Mother’s House (1967)

Classics

Indie

045_LS380_TVmon

7/3/08

5:31 PM

Page 1

monday 14 Panorama BBC1,8.30pm With China currently taking over from America as the human rights abusing country liberals love to hate, Jeremy Vine (left) introduces more damning evidence of its regime. The programme reveals how China is arming the Sudanese government in return for a cut of their precious oil reserves.

Ricky Gervais: New Heroes of Comedy Channel 4, 11.05pm Was Extras really that good?

Channel 4 apparently think so, as they devote this whole programme to lauding the chap who found fame late on in life with The Office. Famous faces putting in their tuppence’ worth include David Baddiel, Russell Brand, and Ashley Jenson.

iTunes Festival 2008 ITV2, 7pm Peaches Geldof presents Steve Jobs’ foray in the music festival world from London’s Koko. Tunes tonight come from rockist hiphoppers NERD (left), and MOR popsters The Feeling, while a wealth of artists let off steam in the live lounge. Bet the stars don’t have to pay Koko’s eyewateringly high drinks prices.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 ChuckleVision 4.05 Roar 4.30 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.35 Grange Hill 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

7.45am Secret Show 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 Get Squiggling 8.45 Something Special 9.00 Bob The Builder 9.10 Charlie And Lola 9.25 Fimbles Songtime 9.30 Big Barn Farm 9.45 Nina And The Neurons 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Too Many Crooks (1958) 11.55 Coast 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living In The Sun 2.30 Castle In The Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Animal Park Ben Fogle and Kate Humble take a peek behind the scenes at Longleat Safari Park.

7.00 Unknown Africa 7.30 Return To… Airport 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions.

8.30 Chinese Food Made Easy 9.00 Mary Queen Of Shops This week Mary visits two shops she helped put on the right track in the last series.

10.00 Would I Lie To You? 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Tribal Wives Six women each live with a different tribe from around the world.

12.20am Ellery Queen Author and amateur detective Ellery Queen attempts solve another murder.

1.10 Joins BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.00am The Cubeez 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 9.55 ER 10.55 Without A Trace 11.50 3 Minute Wonder: Stanley Kubrick’s Small Boxes 11.55 3 Minute Wonder: Stanley Kubrick’s Small Boxes 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 The Class 1.00 Will And Grace 1.25 Grudge Match 1.35 Desperate Housewives 2.30 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Richard And Judy 6.00 The Simpsons Homer and Marge become murder suspects after an elderly woman they befriended is found dead. With the guest voice of Carmen Electra.

6.30 Hollyoaks Jack is struggling with his mounting debts and doesn’t know what to do next.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.50 The Seven Wonders Of The Muslim World Series exploring Islam as it is lived and practised and following six pilgrims from different countries, including a young Spanish pizza chef and a newspaper boy from Jerusalem, who want to visit Mecca.

8.00 The Qur’an 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the Big Brother house.

11.05 Ricky Gervais: New Hero Of Comedy See highlights.

12.10am Shariah TV Series in which a panel of Islamic scholars debate the issues surrounding their faith.

1.10 Big Brother Live 4.10 Shariah TV 5.10 Richard And Judy

7.30am Roary The Racing Car 7.45 Insect Antics 7.50 Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Mio Mao 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Look! 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Milkshake! Music Box 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home & Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.10 FILM: First Daughter (1999) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home & Away Jai starts to come out of his shell.

6.30 Wild Animal ER Staff attempt to catch a fallow deer that appears to be suffering from a serious injury.

7.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky National and international news anchored by Natasha Kaplinsky.

7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day five of the first npower Test match between England and South Africa at Lord’s.

Commentary and analysis from Geoffrey Boycott, Simon Hughes and Barry Richards.

8.00 The Gadget Show Jason and Jon explore an array of high-definition TVs. 9.00 Banged Up Documentary series presented by David Blunkett MP in which ten youths spend ten days in prison.

10.00 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime.

11.05 FILM: Jennifer 8 (1992) Disquieting crime drama about a jaded cop’s encounter with a serial killer-at-large.

1.25am NASCAR 2.15 USPGA Golf 3.05 Seniors Golf 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 Boxing: Fight Of The Week 5.10 House 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Golf Night 10.00 Where Are They Now? 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 5.30pm Where Are They Now? 6.00 Pipeline Adventures 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 Where Are They Now? 7.30 LIVE Speedway: World Cup 10.30 Where Are They Now? 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Where Are They Now? 2.30 Pipeline Adventures 3.00 Test Cricket 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South of England.

7.00 The One Show Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley present a magazine series featuring a mix of interviews, topical reports and features from around the UK. 7.30 After You’ve Gone Jimmy’s efforts to impress the children’s mother on a short visit home turn to disaster.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News National and regional news bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 EastEnders Whitney’s hiding something and Bianca is determined to get to the bottom of it.

8.30 Panorama See highlights.

9.00 New Tricks The team return to the case of actor Michael Austin, shot dead by his wife on stage during the opening night performance of Death at the Masked Ball.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 River Cops Following the river police as they patrol the Thames.

11.15 FILM: Life Or Something Like It (2002) 12.55am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast.

1.00 Britain Under Water 2.00 Cars, Cops And Criminals 3.00 A Taste Of My Life 3.30 Bargain Hunt

6.00 Meridian Tonight Including Meridian weather.

6.30 ITV Evening News And Weather A round up of the latest national and international news stories, plus a national weather forecast.

7.00 Emmerdale Nicola decides to send Rodney’s book to a publisher.

7.30 Coronation Street Will Lloyd’s good intentions scupper Steve and Michelle’s plans?

8.00 Holiday Driving Hell: Tonight Ginny Buckley reports on the differences in European driving laws that can lead British holiday-makers to inadvertently break the rules.

8.30 Coronation Street Jack encourages Tyrone to propose to Molly.

9.00 Police, Camera, Action This special edition features the top ten ultimate car crimes and the worst criminal driving ever seen on Police, Camera, Action.

10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.40 FILM: Conan The Barbarian (1982) Epic sword ‘n’ scorcery adventure starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

1.00am British Touring Car Championship Highlights 1.55 Wright Across America 2.45 Hack 3.35 Loose Women 4.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Masters Football: Central Masters 1.00pm IndyCar Series 3.00 Masters Football: Central Masters 6.00 Kiteboarding 6.30 Sailing 7.00 Showjumping 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Polo 11.00 Showjumping 12.00am Speedway World Cup 3.00 World Motor Sport

Sky Sports 3 8.00am Polo 9.00 World Pool Trickshots 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Bass Fishing 1.00 Golf Night 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Sports Adventure 3.00 World Pool Trickshots 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 Showjumping 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Wonderfalls 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Gladiators 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm In The Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Night Cops 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Inside: Gangs Behind Bars 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Cold Case 2.40 Airline (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Trexx And Flipside 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Sasha: Beauty Queen At 11 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Mighty Boosh 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Sasha: Beauty Queen At 11 12.45am Snog Marry Avoid?

1.15 Trexx And Flipside 1.45 The Mighty Boosh

7.35pm Batman 8.00 The Life Of Mammals 9.00 The Royle Family 10.00 I Didn’t Know You Cared 10.30 Mark Lawson Talks To Liz Smith 11.30 Play For Today: Hard Labour 12.40am Mark Lawson Talks To Liz Smith 1.40 All About Abigail’s Party 2.40 Abigail’s Party Pack 3.10 Mark Lawson Talks To Liz Smith

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008. See highlights. 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: Me, Myself And Irene (2000) 11.10 Coronation Street (x2)

1.30pm Inspector Morse 3.35 Those Were The Days: 69 Moon Landing 4.40 P D James: Black Tower 5.45 Heartbeat 6.45 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 8.00 P D James: Black Tower 9.00 Drama Trails: Jewel In The Crown To Band Of Gold 10.00 Numb3rs 11.00 Clocking Off 12.00am Robin Of Sherwood

1.20pm Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Beauty And The Geek 12.00am Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 1.00 Big Brother: Live

4.00pm A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show: Global Edition 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 Kirstie And Phil’s Property Guide 10.35 Without A Trace 11.35 The Closer 12.35am Desert Island Shipwreck

2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Make Me A Supermodel US (x2) 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 The Vicar Of Dibley 10.20 The Worst Week Of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 The Vicar Of Dibley 12.20am The Worst Week Of My Life

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 12.50am Sex And The City (x2)

3.00pm Deadliest Catch: Lobstermen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do It? 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 10.00 Custom My Ride 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Cheating Fate (2007) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Flash Gordon 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Barb Wire (1996) 12.00am FILM: Bloodsuckers (2005) 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 Angel

7.15am The Quiet Man (1952) 9.25 Hellfighters (1969) 11.30 The Great McGinty (1940) 12.55pm Shenandoah (1965) 2.45 Pimpernel Smith (1941) 4.45 The Quiet Man (1952) 6.55 Hellfighters (1969) 9.00 In Cold Blood (1967) 11.15 Shenandoah (1965) 1.05am Pimpernel Smith (1941)

9.00am On A Clear Day (2005) 11.00 Brotherhood (2004) 1.30pm Shooting Fish (1997) 3.25 Nina’s Heavenly Delights (2006) 5.05 On A Clear Day (2005) 6.50 Love Me If You Dare (2003) 8.25 Tube Tales (1999) 10.00 Wild At Heart (1990) 12.10am Brotherhood (2004)

1.00pm There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954) 3.15 The Dark Corner (1946) 5.10 The Mark Of Zorro (1974) 6.40 Batman Forever (1995) 9.00 In Her Shoes (2005) Suprisingly dark chick flick.

11.35 The Proposition (2005) 1.35am Beautiful Thing (1996) Romantic drama.

9.00am Casablanca (1942) 10.55 Meet Me In Las Vegas (1956) 1.00pm Precious Bane (1989) 3.00 Penelope (1966) 4.45 Friendly Persuasion (1956) 7.20 Mrs Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter (1968) 9.00 Diner (1982) 11.00 The Split (1968) 12.40am The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

Classics

Indie