Latest 7 Issue 321: 15-21 May 2007

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www.latest7.co.uk

latest

Cars The weekly listings and TV guide 15–21 May 2007 FREE

body rocking breakin’ convention international festival of hip hop dance theatre hits brighton festival

£11,990

£5,490 from tempest4cars see page 4

latest

jobs sound of moo-sic time to pump up the volume at the udderbelly

highly paid professional positions

wash your mouth out easy ways to a brighter smile

sales executive brighton

good reverberations latest soup, mon-fri 4–6pm on radio reverb 97.2FM

see page 49

lettings administrator hove see page 49

open at the

udderbelly

pasture bar from 12.30 daily

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5 Cars

photograph: darkdaze.org, 2006

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contents 23 Food

The distinctive new Skoda Roomster

7 What Katie says

Spicy flavours at Noori’s, Brighton

24 Latest hot list

I’m not being nasty, but...

Our top restaurants, cafés and bars

8 Eminemmylou

25 Recipe of the month

Twig’s The Blue Coat Boy

Delicious desserts for all occasions

8 Dani’s diary

26 Cinema

Dani’s refusing to be a sheep, no matter how fashionable the clothes are

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This week’s films reviewed and rated

28 Music 8 Backlash

Our Top Five Records and the local scene

Spirituality is a funny thing

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30 Radio Reverb 9 Social diary

Connecting people by the forces of radio

The lowdown on recent events

30 Foxy Mamma Malone 10 Celebcity

The baby’s sick of daytime TV

The SHAFTA awards, G4, the Udderbelly launch and Lil’ Chris

Fringe benefits

31 Nightlife Club events and bar of the week

We give you the lowdown on the Brighton Festival Fringe

11 Competitions Win tickets to the Afro Hair and Beauty Live Show, plus fantastic new DVDs

11 Crossword

32 Gay The latest news and events with 3sixty

33 Theatre

Test your knowledge in cryptic or quick

Hysteria at Komedia, plus The Gospel of Matthew and Skin Tight

12 Bare cheek 36 Events and kids

Locals stick their oar in

Wildlife for kids, plus garden tours, hip hop and the Extreme Dirty Weekend

12 Stars Which celebrities share your sign?

37 Art 13 Stand-up comedy

The British Rock Artists Group

The stand-up/audience relationship

39 Latest listings 13 Marc the vet

The hottest tickets for the week ahead

A look at A-list canines in Tinseltown

40 Reviews 14 Udderbelly

Casting a critical eye over recent shows

Who’s grazing at the venue this week

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41 Day-by-day guide 16 Fashion

Our complete guide to local events

Keep it cool for picnics and the pub

48 Venue directory 17 Brighton Festival

Your comprehensive venue guide

A snapshot of city life with 41 Places

49 Latest jobs 19 Beauty

Highly paid professional positions

The best products that give you something to smile about

52 Latest TV

21 Health Find peace of mind with counselling

Complete television listings guide, TV movies and Dani’s take on recent TV programmes

01273 818150 Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King

Chief Sub-editor Wendy McAngus Senior Sub-editor Philippa Smith Sub-editors Ashley Bird Hayley Carmichael Viv Craske Joe Curtin Billy Imrie Anita Wilkinson

Website Manager Paul Burgess

Designers Anand Day Peter Knight Jamie Powell Steve Sawyer

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Production Manager Neil Ive

Production Assistant Zara Friend

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Dani Winch Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Kate Knight Advertising Sales Marie Viviani Administration Heather Holland Claire Peerless Stefan Reszczynski Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

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Big intake of breath. This is the column where we give you all the ‘don’t miss’ news of the week. Here we go!

Don’t miss… the second installment of Three Weeks, the must-read guide to the Brighton Festival and Festival Fringe, reviewed by the most clued-up festival-goers around.

Don’t miss… hanging out at the Asahi Pasture Bar beside the Udderbelly, where the Old Steine has been transformed into a cool park with grazing plastic animals and a bar.

Don’t miss… the launch of the Brighton Hip Hop Festival 2007, at the Sallis Benney Theatre, University of Brighton, Grand Parade, Brighton on Saturday 19 May at 3–8pm.

Tickets are £3 on the door. There will be live showcases from all the classiest hip hoppers around including Buzz, Dirty Diggers, Enlish, Dizraeli and Monkey Sons. There’ll be turntablism, beatboxing, live graffiti, B-boying battles and spoken word, plus films, record stalls and ticket giveaways. Reserve your tickets now by emailing info@bhhf.org. Check out the sites: www.bhhf.org and www.kalaphool.com Don’t miss… listening to our very own ubercool Jeff Hemmings on Latest Soup, Radio Reverb, every Monday to Friday from 4–6pm on 97.2FM. Don’t miss… getting your tickets for the musical drama, This Way For The Gas, Ladies And Gentlemen, performed at the Udderbelly on 22–27 May (excluding 24 May). Buy your tickets from the Brighton Dome Box Office on 01273 709709.

Don’t miss… booking a seat for the Latest Festival Awards held on 28 May, hosted by Jimmy Carr. It promises to be a starry, starry night. Get your tickets from Brighton Dome Box Office on 01273 709709.

Don’t miss… something new and different.

Brighton Festival Fringe has teamed up with Quidcard to bring you a special Fringe privilege card. It entitles the cardholder to get concessions on selected events and also 100s of fantastic offers in some of the city’s best bars, restaurants, shops and more. As the name suggests, Quidcard costs a quid and is available from outlets around the city. Go to www.quidcard.co.uk to find out where to get yours, what tickets are available and information about some great festival offers.

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CARS

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CARS

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Czech mate

The distinctive Skoda Roomster is on sale. Simon Asphar looks at the Czech car maker’s first foray into the MPV market You need a cup of tea and about half an hour just to look at the latest Skoda – it takes time.

It looks like some new Spanish art gallery – lots of glass and disjointed angles; behind those big windows would be a great place to bring on your tomato plants. Bringing the Roomster concept car, shown at the International Automobile Association (IAA) motor show in Frankfurt three years ago represented a special challenge for Skoda Auto. Even at the concept stage, the form and proportions of the Roomster met with widespread approval. One of the main reasons for this was the strong exterior design – the Roomster conveys its inner values outwardly, and in doing so, also displays its identity for all to see, like it or not.

The Skoda Roomster today is a modern expansion of the model range offered by Skoda Auto. In the recent past, the brand has become known for cars of a more classical design, which, in addition to the high level of technology, exceptional reliability and quality, also exhibit an excellent priceperformance ratio. The Skoda Roomster fits these values, too. The Roomster follows the lines of a compact MPV but differs from its competitors in this segment thanks to its unconventional design. Despite measuring just 4,205 millimetres in length, by means of its movable rear seats, the Roomster provides variable boot volumes up to 1,780 litres.

To maximise the available interior space, the design team at Skoda created two different areas within the cabin. The front zone is designed to cater for the needs of the driver –

a ‘driving room’ with a clear cockpit design.

The dashboard is clearly laid out, with ergonomically designed instruments and operating controls, as well as comfortable seats, which can be adjusted exactly to suit the driver. The rear of the Skoda Roomster is designed as a comfortable and flexible ‘living room’. Large side windows, seating which is 46 millimetres higher than that in the front, and the innovative Varioflex seating system combine to make it possible to configure the rear at will. The raised position of the rear seats affords passengers the best possible view to the front and to the scenery.

The large side windows and the optional panoramic roof also create excellent lighting conditions throughout the whole of the interior – for both passengers and tomatoes – and, in the event there being too much light streaming in, can be curtained off with blinds. The flexibility of the living room will appeal to families of all ages for all tasks. The middle seat armrest can be folded forward where two storage compartments for drinks are integrated. With effortless ease, the whole seat, which weighs 11 kilograms, can also be removed completely. The two outer seats can then be pushed inwards by 110 millimetres, creating a four-seater layout with increased shoulder room and seating comfort. The outer rear seats can be slid forward and back by 150 millimetres. Headroom for rear-seat passengers is 1009 millimetres, which not only generates an exceptional feeling of spaciousness but is also especially useful in a

“The Roomster follows the lines of a compact MPV, but differs from its competitors due to its unconventional design”

car of this class. The angles of the seat backs in the rear can be adjusted individually by 13.5 degrees. The flexibility of the Roomster’s interior is hard to find elsewhere, and the countless storage options will keep every passenger happy.

The dynamic front section is characterised by the newly interpreted radiator grille with a large chrome surround and more pronounced ribs. The clear glass headlights are drawn well back into the wings, following a line that continues to the B-pillar. Air intake vents in the middle and at each side of the large front bumper give the Skoda Roomster a strong road presence, while in the upper range versions front fog lamps occupy the openings on the left and the right, completing the visual package. The windscreen and side windows combine to form a single optical unit, while a wraparound line harmoniously defines the front of the car.

The rear, with deep-set windows, which stretch up towards the roof surface, differs clearly from the front of the car. This gives passengers in the rear an excellent view and, in addition, floods the interior with light – generating a feeling of well-being. This panoramic effect is of particular value for families. Experience has shown that children become bored when they can see nothing of the landscape.

When the rear window is opened, the glass remains a good hand’s width above the lower rim of the window frame: a plus in safety, as toys and other objects are less likely to fall out. And the danger of leaning too far out is also reduced. The large rear doors make getting in and out easy and comfortable. The handles are integrated in the vertical framework immediately in front of the C-pillar making the optical impression of the side both clear and elegant. In the rear, the high roofline reinforces the Roomster’s load-carrying ability, while the slim, crescent-shaped rear lights are positioned high up on the D-pillar. When the lights are switched on, a C-shaped area is illuminated – already a characteristic feature of the Skoda Octavia and the Octavia estate.

Even in the dark, the Roomster is clearly recognisable from behind as a member of the Skoda family.

Three petrol and three diesel engines are offered for the Roomster. The petrol range starts with a 1.2-litre 70bhp petrol engine.

Further up the performance range sits a 1.4litre four-cylinder petrol engine. The most powerful petrol engine available is a 1.6 litre petrol unit with 105bhp. The diesel line-up consists of a 1.4-litre and a 1.9-litre engine. All engines meet EU IV exhaust emission standards. The fuel tank of the Roomster has a 55-litre capacity. All engines are linked to a manual five-speed gearbox as standard. A sixgear automatic transmission will be available as an option for the more powerful petrol versions. Thinking of an extension or a second home? Maybe Skoda has come up with a cheaper alternative.

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KATIE’S COLUMN

What Katie says Katie’s off sick, so take cover as Eminemmylou points her guns at the reputation wreckers...

Got any goss?

Like this time last year, Katie is on her sick bed and phones up: “Infamy, infamy, please stand in for me again”. So here’s another shooting-from-the-hip thought for the day.

“I’m not being nasty here… but you’re a ******* liar” is one of my early raps when I thought it was big and clever to use asterisks. I’ve grown older and less sweary but the sentiment still remains true. The lyric is based on three very different and perfectly nice people who all had the unfortunate habit of starting sentences with “I’m not being nasty here”, and then proceeding to tell the nastiest stories about people (in a nice way).

like a wolf. They can be far more important than money, fame, ambition, even health. Some cultures live and die by reputation. In Italy, for instance, it’s a cultural theme. No-one wants to be blamed for anything.

‘It’s not me’ is a familiar cry on football pitches, piazzas, and marital beds. And, like Bob Hope who famously cried “It’s not me” when caught in flagrante by his wife, most are guilty!

Madonna, influenced by the Kabbalah, writes stories illustrating the effect of gossip.

She equates casting doubt on someone’s character with slashing a feather pillow and scattering the feathers in the

bad vibes in newspapers and won’t hear a word said against any public figure (within reason), ranging from Cherie Blair to Robbie Williams to Heather Mills.

“Minor peccadilloes, pah, leave them be”, is her attitude and the BBC filing cabinets are stuffed full of her weekly letters complaining of mean spirited or vindictive reporting. Mary deals with facts!

Lord Browne foolishly felt forced to lie to save his reputation and lost 15 million in the process. His hapless lover Chevalier’s reputation is probably more marred by the association with Associated Newspapers. I’m not being nasty here… but major newspapers can be the biggest hypocrites of all.

To paraphrase a great local rapper, Wizard (who wrote a searing rap questioning the reputation of “Hastings, where you get stabbed for nothing”), many newspapers are places

where you get stabbed in the back for nothing. Not being paranoid here, but gossip can engender that sort of feeling.

Where are the exposés and tales of cocaine-fuelled cheating frenzies by top journalists and lying newspaper chiefs? We want the goss!

There’s now a backlash against insulting blogs on the web with commentators seeking online codes of conduct. They could be fighting a losing battle unless, like in the films Mean Girls and Les Liaisons Dangereuses, the invisible taunts come back to haunt the protagonists. But perhaps the best response to petty slander comes in the country singer, Jeannie C Riley’s song, ‘Harper Valley PTA’ where she gives the censorious PTA a piece of the same.

So, next time you hear “I’m not being nasty here…” chip in with “Yeah, sure!”

“Once you’ve assassinated someone’s character, it’s impossible to pick up the scattered feathers and make up for the damage, or to go round and tell everyone the truth” I’ve always been squeamish around gossip. Not what is said (freedom of speech and all that), but often what is not said but implied. Recent surveys show that gossip is a very healthy and necessary part of society and it can surely help to make people walk the line. But there’s the goodly mother hen type of gossip, or the slap-stick gossip about people’s toupés, and then an altogether more ruinous kind of slander, which delights in slashing reputations and dignity.

Reputations can be very fragile and noble things, to be guarded

wind. Each feather represents another person who’s heard the malicious gossip, and once you’ve assassinated someone’s character, it’s impossible to pick up the scattered feathers and make up for the damage, or to go round and tell everyone the truth.

I’m all for shining a light on criminals à la Crimewatch, but make sure of your facts. You wouldn’t want your friends and work colleagues to be verbally photo-fitted for just being annoying sometimes.

It’s not just me, my 87-year-old mother-in-law, Mary, detests any

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THE RHYME

Eminemmylou The UK’s first and only rap and spoken-word column.

This week featuring Twig “Hide your narcotics” says this week’s poet, named Twig Needs more respect for the cops, ‘cause it ain’t big To be like big Vera, dealing coke or selling dope She needs to get a real job at an estate agents, or something

The blue coat boy At the Blue Coat Boy that night, they were angling for a fight The boys in blue, that is ‘cause they’d had their eye on Vera Full of hope, you know, to catch her pulling pints And selling dope at the Blue Coat Boy. “Drugs bust” they shouted, just like Starsky and Hutch Thinking they were really butch ‘Cause like, nothing like that ever happens in Bexhill Which is just as well really ‘Cause who wants 56 unlaid back policemen Shouting blue murder and ruining a perfectly good night out At the Blue Coat Boy So she’ll not be pulling pints anymore There’ll be no more ragga parties at the Blue Coat Boy Not on Friday night, nor any other day So goodbye pub, shame really Grade 2 listed building, good town centre site Will be an estate agents soon Not much more to rap about really

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

The backlash starts here Chris Pacey on spirituality that doesn’t hang together...

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Substitute ‘Brighton’ for ‘kitchen’, and ‘hippies’ for ‘heat’ and you could argue that this week’s Backlash is my own fault for sticking around so long.

Don’t get me wrong, I like tie-dye, beads and not washing as much as the next person. But I don’t like being made to feel that my life is somehow the poorer for not being overshadowed by half-cocked, aimless spirituality.

There’s nothing wrong with believing in a supernatural higher power, of course. Many people do, the world over. What I have a problem with is the lazy, ill-conceived notion that there is a generic, ambiguous guiding force for good in the universe, which is not even afforded the simple dignity of a name.

Naturally, this is a ridiculous, self-fulfilling prophecy. One only has to observe the homelessness and drug abuse in the city around us to note that it’s clearly not exclusively the work of a benevolent force of pure good. By the same logic (also known as ‘making the chuffing thing up’), the hippies might also consider a universal force for evil that causes all the bad stuff.

But why stop there? It’s clear, living in Brighton that there’s an equally benevolent force driving 24 hour licensing through the universe.

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EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani refuses to join in our ‘sheep-like’ lust for the Kate Moss look Wow, can you believe it? We now have the choice of looking like Kate Moss, Madonna or Lilly Allen, as all three of them have launched their own fashion lines, yippee for us! (That was sarcasm, if you didn’t get it!)

Are we really such a nation of sheep? Well, yes, it seems.

A few of us don’t buy into that whole ‘celebrity has it, so I have to’ thing but, by the looks of things, lots of people do like to dress in the image of some coke-head’s girlfriend, a 50-year-old who thinks it wise to dress in lycra whenever possible, or a gobby little singer.

Everybody seems to be under the impression that these celebs have given up their time to style the nation out of generosity of spirit, with all this talk about ‘affordable’ lines. But the reality is that they’re cashing-in on our sheep-like nature for their own ends. And, when you think about it, what are we getting from it? Nothing but the opportunity to tell our grandkids that we were sad enough to queue overnight to get into a shop because some model designed a few clothes!

“It’s so impossible to look even slightly different, and especially so in Brighton” It’s so impossible to look even slightly different, and especially so in Brighton, because there is such a concentrated amount of ‘different’ people here that everyone’s begun to look the same. When I was at secondary school, all I had to do to look different was wear a pair of converse trainers, or winkle pickers. But now you can’t escape them.

Here we have the chavs, the hippies, the goths, the office workers, the tits and arse group, the Rastas, the artists, the retro guys and the Russell Brand wannabes. So, in any attempt to look unique, you inevitably fall into one of those categories.

And the celebrity clothing thing doesn’t help: everyone queuing to get their hands on these items will bump into each other at some point.

Why would anyone go out of their way to buy a pair of hot pants to look like someone else? What happened to looking like yourself?

Everybody seems to want to look like, or be, someone else, and the reason is usually along the lines of ‘if I dress like Kate Moss then maybe I will be more attractive, or successful, or rich’, when, in actual fact, it’ll change nothing. Wearing something from Primark isn’t any less noble than wearing designer clothes, but will save a bit more money!

Don’t try and look like other people, don’t be fooled into thinking it’s great that these celebs are letting us dress like them, because they’re not. The clothes they have been wearing for years – that we have been admiring – are in the shops anyway. It’s not groundbreaking news that you can now transform yourself in one department store. In fact, it’s just a cheeky way for a few people to make a lot of money!

I once had a row with a spiritualist hippie, which began when I asked if he was a theist, an atheist or an agnostic. He refused to be contained by the closedminded boundaries I was imposing. I got more than a little frustrated when I unsuccessfully tried to explain that, by definition, he had to either believe in something, not believe in anything or be unsure. My increasing irritation in the face of his absurd obstinacy ironically gave him the upper hand. I was too angry, he said, and needed to find peace, as he had. Bugger.

“It’s simply no good berating capitalism for all of the world’s ills whilst smoking pot” A hippie will tell you that they believe in the good force because they have experienced it personally, in a moment of prolonged euphoria. I’ve had euphoric experiences: I’ve had any number of lovely baths, and have felt a tremendous sense of being at one with the universe. However, I can’t believe that my quiet time with Mr Duck holds any sway with the intergalactic universal consciousness of everything that has and will ever be.

Besides, if all this force wants is an army of unwashed, pot-smoking, trustafarian drop-outs whinging about the evils of capitalism (also known as ‘working for a living’ and ‘contributing to society’), then I want no part of it.

It’s simply no good berating capitalism for all of the world’s ills whilst smoking pot and doing lines of cocaine. (Hmmm. No exploitation there, eh?) And after all, without capitalism, we wouldn’t have vaccines, electric guitars or cheesy Wotsits, let alone the mag you now hold in your sweaty palms.

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LATESTDIARY

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Harping on On Saturday 5 May in a beautiful candlelit Regency setting in Brunswick Square, Magdalena Reising and Udita Everett filled the air with atmospheric music and voice with a recital of Celtic harp and flute. “Not my thing!” I hear you say. All I say is “Give it a try”. It was beautiful. Magdalena has shows booked throughout the festival, until 25 May. For those of you who already know and love Magdalena’s music, her new album Blue Cafe will be available on Latest Records soon. See www.latestrecords.co.uk.

With Tim Richardson

Belly laughs The long awaited day had finally arrived. The launch of the all-new Udderbelly, sponsored by Latest Homes/Latest 7 and Asahi Beer. An amazing jam-packed 24 days of comedy, cabaret, theatre, music and kids shows are scheduled, finishing on 28 May with the Latest 7 Festival & Fringe Awards. Guests arrived at the launch, were greeted in the ASAHI Pasture with a cold beer and chattered excitedly about the new venue and what the evening may have in store. The ‘purple one’, however, was still recovering from a night out on the town and needed three of his legs inflating before the show could begin. The evening’s entertainment was compered by Priorité À Gauche with The Ornate Johnsons, Greedy and The Caesar Twins putting on a small taster for all that was about to pass. Check out the line-up and book online at www.udderbelly.co.uk

Udita Everett (flute) and Magdalena Reising (Celtic harp)

Three of The Ornate Johnsons

Marcella Whittingdale (ITV Meridian), Caraline Brown (Midnight Communications) and Sue Addis (Donatello) Bill Smith (Latest Homes MD) and Tania Sansom

Open invitations Jeremy Martin (MD of Compass)

On Tuesday 24 April, the Old Ship Hotel in Brighton hosted the launch of Artists Open Houses 2007. This year, around 1000 artists will be exhibiting work in 198 houses, divided into 14 trails. Plus, there are independent houses too. For a full list of trails and artists, see the website – www.aoh.org.uk – and download a copy of the AOH brochure.

Picture perfect Friday 4 May saw the launch of an exhibition of photography by Petrusco at North Laine Photography Gallery, Kensington Gardens.

Petrusco himself – I’ve been reliably informed – originates from the planet of the same name! He was runner-up in the Essence Of Brighton And Hove photography competition in 2006 with one of the most talked about images of the year. If you’re not sure which image that was, you’ll just have to go along and find out. At the same time, take a look at his portfolio of work – it shows great imagination and a flare for the surreal.

Mayor David Smith and Angi Mariani (Latest Homes)

Angel Turner and Gary Turner

Petrusco (centre) with supporting friends and followers.

If you have an event you would like featured please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Lil’ Chris makes lil’ impact

Celebcity

Micro pop sensation Lil’ Chris graced the pupils of BHASVIC school in Dyke Road with his presence last week, but not with his vocals. You see, the pint-sized warbler had actually arrived too late to perform.

Headmaster Chris Thomson gave the singer the red card as he thought it would disrupt lessons too much, especially with all the important exams coming up!

with Jo Brooks

G4-whizz

Udderbelly full with Heather Mills

The lads look forward to life after G4 Last week was a truly fabulous week for celebs in the city. It all kicked off on Tuesday, when I received a call from the lovely Howard Barden from the Brighton Centre. Imagine my surprise when he said: “Jo, would you like to have lunch with X-Factor legends, G4?”

Happy to oblige (and, coincidentally, get all the latest gossip), I trotted off to Donatello for calamari, tricolore salad and top opera gossip.

We chatted about the shock news that the band were splitting up and going their separate ways. Ben told me he was all set to become a classical agent in Dublin, Jon (the cute blond one) is going to try his hand at a solo career, Matthew is going into property developing, while Mike’s dream is to pen a West End musical or a top ten hit! God, all that and we hadn’t even had an expresso!

If you want a last gander at the lads on stage, you can catch them at the Brighton Centre on 24 May. Tickets are still available from the Brighton Centre box office.

The great big purple cow that is the Udderbelly opened it’s gates last Friday and hosted a lavish launch event. Guests included actors Ralph Brown, James Lance and Dan Ryan and also an unexpected guest in the form of Hove resident Heather Mills.

Rather surprised to see her there (her name wasn’t on the list, and I know because I typed it!), I asked her what had brought her to the Udderbelly?

“I found out about the party from some friends and decided to attend” replied Heather. “I live here and want to go out and about”.

Fair enough!

Me with the pink cow Oliver Heath and friends

G4 and me

‘News Of The Screws’ gets SHAFTA from Scooch The same night, I attended the star-studded annual SHAFTA awards up in London. The event, for those of you who don’t know, celebrates the very best in national showbiz hacks’ biggest gaffes of the year.

Hosted by Johnny Vaughan and held at the glitzy Café de Paris, the event was packed with tabloid lovelies including Carole Malone, Kevin O’Sullivan, the Sun’s Bizarre team and even British Eurovision hopefuls Scooch, who turned up to present a gong to the News Of The World journo Rav Singh.

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Comedy celebrity anagram of the week: Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber = “Benders warble wordily”

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555 www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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COMPETITIONSXWORD

In it to win it

latestcrossword

solutions on page 30

Get your hands on these great giveaways!

Afro Hair & Beauty Live – Tickets

Trends come and go, but after 25 years at the front of the scene, the Afro Hair Show is still going strong. This month, the show is reborn as Afro Hair & Beauty Live and we have free tickets to give away to lucky readers. The event will bring together the world’s leading hair and beauty brands with top hair stylists and beauticians for a dazzling weekend of top tips and hands-on fun. Award-winning hair and make-up artists will show off the latest techniques in six demonstration areas, offering advice on skincare, make-up, weaves and extensions, braiding and more. This is a rare chance to learn from the people that make celebrities look amazing – not to be missed! We have three pairs of tickets for the Afro Hair & Beauty Live Show to give away. The show takes place on Sunday 27 and Monday 28 May at the prestigious Alexandra Palace in London. To win, answer this question: The original and first Afro Hair Show took place how many years ago? See below for entry details.

The History Of Mr Polly – DVD A chance to see Lee Evans in this stunning adaptation of the H G Wells classic in a new DVD outing. Left with his father’s inheritance, Mr Polly goes on a search to fulfil his dreams. A spirited and touching tale about human fate, hilarious and wonderfully warm, teaching us that the littlest life can have the biggest adventures. We have two copies to give away. Simply answer the question below – see below for entry details. Which mousy tale did Lee Evans star in back in 1997?

Pasolini Boxset Vol. 2 – DVD Neo-realist Pier Paolo Pasolini gets the boxset treatment again this month with the release of volume 2, collecting together the films Oedipus Rex, Hawks And Sparrows and Pigsty. Often tackling controversial subjects, Pasolini left a legacy of great films. To be in with a chance of winning one of three copies, answer the following question: What nationality is director Pasolini? Entrants must be 18 or over.

Gilbert And George – signed DVDs Seventh Art Productions (www.seventh-art.com) release the latest film in the Tim Marlow arts series: Gilbert and George – the world’s most eccentric artistic double act.

Take an exclusive walk around their new exhibition at Tate Modern in this all-new DVD that offers a unique insight into the famously elusive pair. To be in with a chance of winning one of three signed copies, tell us: Gilbert and George is the latest film in whose series?

Sweet Valley High – Books Revisit the hallowed halls of Sweet Valley High as Random House re-release the first of the massively popular series of books. Set to entertain a whole new generation of young female readers, follow the lives of identical twins Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield in Sweet Valley, California in the following titles: Double Love, Secrets, Playing With Fire, and Power Play. We have two sets of these four titles to give away. To be in with a chance of winning simply tell us: Which set of real-life twins portrayed Elizabeth and Jessica in the 1990s TV series based on these books?

El Topo – DVD Bringing a whole new (surrealist) take to the ‘western,’ El Topo, is newly released from Tartan DVD this month. Told in Spanish with English subtitles, El Topo follows a gunslinger and his son who travel across the desert.

Stumbling across a massacre, a dying man tells of a colonel and his gang who are to blame... Violent and visionary, and probably the best of this director’s early work, available for the first time on DVD. To win one of three copies: Name the director of El Topo. Entrants must be aged 18 or over.

To be in with a chance of winning email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the title of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email along with your name, contact address and number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. (Closing date for entries: 29 May)

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Cryptic 92

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Quick 92

ACROSS

DOWN

ACROSS

1 Student and nude guard tear about (13) 7 Thespian’s favourite dessert?

(7) 9 Family man has unclean beginnings (5) 10 Welcome Reg and get in by arrangement (8) 11 Players start fishing (4) 13 Pony appears in military spectacle (6) 15 Writer from Sicilian interior succeeds another writer (6) 18 Crumpled garment may go out of shape (4) 19 Noah’s boat sends out no light (8) 22 Send it to me in hiding – it’s the same thing (5) 23 Proposition requires vow to be amended (7) 24 Slow hen is deformed with stress through lack of virtue (13)

1 To be vertical one must be out of bed – correct? (7) 2 Make dunce approach river and plunge into the water (5) 3 Reform implies a kind of creation (8) 4 Assassin turns round without half the instrument (4) 5 Outdated article – broken chair – with rustic finish (7) 6 Choose by cutting the power supply (5) 8 Bodysnatcher starts with single piece of skeleton (4) 12 A clean seabed sounds foolhardy (8) 14 It’s characteristic to get nothing right as a betrayer (7) 16 Educated nun initially comes in, leans over and pays attention (7) 17 Effeminate place for a holiday (4) 18 She has a point in creating a light source (5) 20 Eastern eleven take on the French refugee (5) 21 Mum (no queen) is a flighty creature (4)

1 Questioning (13) 7 Flexible (7) 9 Artist's frame (5) 10 Attacker (8) 11 Twirl (4) 13 Pill (6) 15 Amazement (6) 18 Miniature lake (4) 19 Sinks back (8) 22 List of patients (5) 23 Accounts examiner (7) 24 Removal from sight (13).

DOWN 1 Approximate (7) 2 Salvers (5) 3 Merchant (8) 4 Eras (4) 5 Tasteless (7) 6 Synthetic fibre (5) 8 Cook (4) 12 Kitchen utensil (8) 14 Fruit (7) 16 Keep back (7) 17 Woman (4) 18 Tubular (5) 20 Fabric (5) 21 Hit with hand (4).

To advertise call Kate on 01273 818150

Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that.

No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

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admin@fearlessmike.com

www.fearlessmike.com

Ask about our flatpack assembly service We are an independent limited company and not part of the Ikea group.

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012_LS321_cheeky/stars

5/10/07

4:20 PM

Page 2

ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Spotted Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

In & Out IN • • • • •

Eddie Charlton Scarecrow And Mrs King Erectile dysfunction Chiang Kai-shek Bodymatters

OUT • Fine Fare • Gene Loves Jezebel • Alain Robidoux • Scrooge McDuck • Thrush

with TS Eliot But did we see him? Did we really?

Or could we just have been mistaken?

That drunken Tuesday I remember My ice cream cone tasted sour, You dropped your flake onto the pavement.

But did we see him? We did, surely.

Or was he merely a reflection Of the past or, what, the future?

Of that day I recall only A dirty window-pane and a homburg On a hotel sofa, as you turned to me “But surely… wait. Don't move a muscle Sitting by the bar is that actor Who played the part of Charlie in ‘Casualty’.”

Stick your oar in!

Only kidding! with Barry Kidding, 25 years your local columnist The other day, yours truly was reading the paper and supping a pint of Dead By Dawn in my favourite hostelry, when the landlord (Hi Chris! You’d better order some more dry-roasted peanuts because I finished the last bag on Friday! And, by the way, I’ll pay my bar bill when I’m good and f***ing ready) remarked that a friend of his had been reprimanded by a local official for putting recyclable materials out for the bin men.

Now I’m all for recycling. Mother Earth is a beautiful lady, and to see her treated like some filthy, stinking, disease-ridden sow makes me quite literally vomit with fury. We didn’t inherit this planet from our parents, we’re merely borrowing it from our children.

However, if I want to throw some old carrier bags or a tin can in the trash I believe it’s my right as a taxpayer to damn well do so. And no jumped-up nanny state “official” is going to stop me. Because I’ve got a gun I bought from a bent copper I know. So stick that up your carbon footprint! See ya! © Kidding International Industries 2007

An occasional series in which we ask the opinion of both celebrities and lowly proles on a local issue.

This week – what do you think of the New England Quarter development near the station?

LOCAL COUNCILLOR MIKE GOOLEY “We can only hope that these Barrett homes and this quite large Sainsbury’s will at long last put Brighton on the map.”

NICK CAVE “Strewth! That Sainsbury’s has got a two for one offer on Jaffa Cakes! I’m going to stock up on ‘em, and I advise you to do the same.”

FRANK GEHRY “They should have let me design it. I had this great idea for a Sainsbury's that was... wait for it... upside down.

Woooo. Freaky huh? Bet that messes with your minds.”

Mrs Ena Deranged, Portslade

MRS ENA DERANGED, PORTSLADE “I think it’s exquisite – a veritable fairyland. In fact it's a lot like I imagine Eden must have looked.”

DAVID VAN DAY “In my opinion, trying to make Brighton look exactly like everywhere else in the country is a great idea, as it will stop people moving here from experiencing confusion or ‘culture shock’.”

STARS

Astral Angi ★ Finding truth in the stars★

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

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01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

You share your starsign with Leonard Nimoy, Aretha Franklin, Emile Zola, Casanova, Mariah Carey, Diana Ross, Betty Ford, Omar Sharif and Buddha.

You share your starsign with JeanPaul Sartre, Jerry Hall, Nelson Mandela, George Orwell, Princess Di, George Michael and Frida Kahlo.

You share your starsign with Meat Loaf, Caravaggio, Groucho Marx, Brigitte Bardot, John Lennon, Bob Geldof, Desmond Tutu and others.

You share your starsign with Elvis Presley, Steven Hawking, Simone de Beauvoir, Louis Braille, Henri Matisse and Marlene Dietrich.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

You share your starsign with Al Pacino, Penelope Cruz, Willie Nelson, Karl Marx, Sigmund Freud, Orson Welles, Salvador Dali and Olga Korbut.

You share your starsign with Mick Jagger, Clara Bow, Whitney Houston, Andy Warhol, Madonna, Napoleon and Fidel Castro.

You share your starsign with Bill Gates, Niccolo Paganini, Julia Roberts, Marie Curie, Grace Kelly, Claude Monet and Whoopi Goldberg.

You share your starsign with Mozart, Oprah Winfrey, Virginia Woolf, Germaine Greer, Charles Dickens, Abraham Lincoln and James Dean.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

You share your starsign with Marilyn Monroe, John Wayne, Tarzan (Johnny Weissmuller), Judy Garland, Che Guevara, Peggy Lee and Rocky G.

You share your starsign with Grandma Moses, Raquel Welch, Anton Dvorak, Patsy Cline, Queen Elizabeth I, Greta Garbo and George Jones.

You share your starsign with Tina Turner, Bette Midler, Jimi Hendrix, Maria Callas, Walt Disney, Sinead O’Connor, Tom Waits and Beethoven.

You share your starsign with Elizabeth Taylor, Lou Reed, Michelangelo, Cyrano de Bergerac, Nat King Cole, Albert Einstein and Quincy Jones.

12 latest 7

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

013_LS321_stand-up/vets

5/10/07

2:02 PM

Page 1

STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle says hecklers should speak only when spoken to or not at all

Audience interaction is generally something best kept to a minimum at stand-up gigs. Of course, you always have the lambs to the slaughter – otherwise known as the front row – who will get picked on and asked to respond to certain questions set by the compere. Generally these aren’t very difficult questions. Things like “What’s your name?”, “What do you do for a living?” and “Whereabouts do you live?”, although sounding like stalker questions are actually just ice-breakers, and can be used to break into a conversation between the compere and the audience’s new representatives. And this should be as far as it goes.

Don’t say anything unless you’re asked to. Laugh loudly, applaud a particularly good gag, be aware that some questions could actually be rhetorical, and don’t decide that a comic’s set is actually a conversation with you and you alone. You may think that the stuff they’ve said means that they really, really get you, that you’re so on the same wavelength and that you can top the laugh they just got – but don’t. Buy them a drink afterwards instead and have a chat then. You’re much more likely to find that mutual wavelength still intact if you haven’t interrupted their set either with a stupid comment or – possibly more deadly to your fledgling kinship – a clever one.

“Don’t decide that a comic’s set is actually a conversation with you and you alone. Buy them a drink afterwards instead and have a chat then” I know this all sounds like basic stuff but really, some people never learn. I was doing a gig the other day and as the acts that were on before me were going through their well thought out and considered material there seemed to be two people – one on either side of the front row – who appeared to believe that there was no one else sitting behind them in the rest of the venue. It was as if they’d been gifted with old plough-horse blinkers allowing them only to see straight ahead – which is great for concentration but crap for their own contextual awareness. Not only were they answering questions, but also interrupting sets during the pauses. I know it’s not malicious, and really is just saying that they’re enjoying the show so much they want to be a part of it – but they’re not. Plus, it annoyed the rest of the crowd to end up with a disjointed delivery rather than the slightly more polished one they’d paid to witness. It interrupts the flow.

I’m sure you’ll definitely have experienced more than your share of it if you’ve been out and about, catching the best and the worst of the festival, so you know what I’m talking about. But if you happened to be the happy puppy who bounded up to the front and slobbered all over the comics with your good natured replies and ad hoc ‘sharpening’ of their acts, just please don’t. I know you mean well, but please don’t.

☺

Stand-up wisdom 41: “The one advantage of being homeless is that you can choose where you live.” Simon Evans

image

Individual Images for Individual People

catcher T i m R i c h a r d s o n Freelance Photographer 01273 881832 07977 140002 www.image-catcher.co.uk tim.richardson@image-catcher.co.uk 32a Carlisle Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 4FS

PETS

Marc the vet The New Paul O’Grady Show’s Marc Abraham says it’s a dog’s life in LA – and it’s totally awesome, dude!

So where do the luckiest dogs in the world live?

Surely Los Angeles must rate highly amongst the most dog-friendly places on this planet?

I’m over here recording a TV show for kids about working with animals in the UK, and thought I’d check out what’s hot and what’s not for the pampered pooches of Hollywood.

Being just any one of the 157 recognised breeds just isn’t enough out here. To succeed as an A-list canine in Tinseltown, you need a distinctive pedigree breed-mix to successfully achieve the accompanying silly breed-mix name. For example, a Maltese terrier crossed with a Poodle becomes a ‘Maltipoo’. A Pug crossed with a Beagle? A ‘Puggle’. You get the idea.

Are they being bred just for the silly names? Hmmm…

My cousin Melissa, with her dog, Polly, at Santa Monica

“Being just any one of the 157 recognised breeds just isn’t enough out here” But what about our ‘Labradoodle’, I hear you all cry out, we’ve bred them in the UK for years? Well, they’re ‘so yesterday’ is the answer from the many dog-owning Angelinos, and there are thousands.

When I’m working as a vet in the UK, it’s common to hear owners referring to their pet as their baby. Over here, the two are almost interchangeable. Diamond studded jackets, designer foods, and pet daycare are all easily accessible, plus alternative therapies like massage, acupuncture and flower remedies. Where? At the Pet Spa, of course!

The most common breed of dog is by far the Chihuahua, possibly due to one celebrity endorsement in particular. LA’s most famous daughter, Paris Hilton takes her little ‘Tinkerbell’ everywhere she goes, creating a demand so powerful that Californian breeders can barely keep up. Sadly, the resulting supply seems to be being met by illegal breeding and smuggling of car-boot-fulls of these smallest of all puppies, from just across the border in Mexico – their country of origin.

Exercising your dog couldn’t be easier either. With a choice of dogwalker, dog-hiker (longer walks on more rugged terrain), walking your own dog on the sidewalks, or to give your pooch the ultimate day out – a trip to the Dog Park at the famous Laurel Canyon.

This rather exclusive district, once inhabited by the likes of Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin in the 1960s, is now home to an open space dedicated purely to dogs and their owners. They can run around, socialise, or just hang out, and I even witnessed some dogs doing that too! It’s a great spot, water-bowls filled with fresh water, separate areas for large and small dogs, and all kept immaculately clean; the owners all slaves to the mantra ‘Scoop that poop!’

Another popular place for dog spotting is the beach path linking Santa Monica with Venice. I even saw a cat and a snake!

Any comments for Marc email editorial@thelatest.co.uk 12,000 students attend the University of Sussex.

The only way to reach these potential clients is through the University of Sussex Students’ Union.

The badger is the Students’ Union’s tabloid newspaper, published every Thursday and read by 84% of students*.

The pulse, our termly magazine, has been awarded the best UK Student Magazine twice by The Guardian and Independent newspapers.

To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk * Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

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014_015_LS321_udderbelly

5/10/07

4:01 PM

Page 2

UDDERBELLY

Graze of thunder The Udderbelly is best known for comedy, but this week there are some top musical acts ready to rumble...

With that humongous purple cow in pasture at the Old Steine, together with a plethora of little animal friends, the ‘zoo’ that is the Udderbelly looks like being a success despite the very short time between the decision to actually bring it to Brighton and the grand opening on 5 May. Music has generally taken a back seat this year but the final week of the Udderbelly will see some classy action, with sounds from around the globe.

Vocal Explosion & Fanfara Created by composer and director Juliet Russell, Vocal Explosion is an amazing participatory process that uses the same format as a performance. With percussionists on stage alongside a large number of singers of all abilities, Juliet leads the whole of the audience to create a huge upbeat vocal sound in the shortest space of time.

For this special one-off performance they will be joined by Fanfara, a group of local musicians who have been learning and playing the ‘fanfare’ (which translated means brass band) since 2003 when two members of the band visited the small Romanian village of Zece Prajini.

This small village in the Moldavia region is home to hundreds of musicians including the masters Fanfare Ciocarlia. Combining brass with percussion, it is a music for celebrating, for dancing and simply for passing the time of day!

Vocal Explosion and Fanfara, Udderbelly, 20 May, £8/£6, 3pm. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

Fanfara 14 latest 7

014_015_LS321_udderbelly

5/10/07

4:09 PM

Page 3

UDDERBELLY

Mountain Firework Company One of Brighton's favourite bands, Mountain Firework Company, played the Spiegeltent to a sell-out crowd last year and they’ll be looking to repeat the feat this year. Led by the song-writing brilliance of Gareth McGahan, MFC are a six-piece band with country music at heart and include Gareth on guitar along with Simon Russell on double bass, Grant Allardyce on drums, Matt Oldfield on banjo, Jim Harmer on mandolin and Michael Simmonds on violin. Whether singing about love won and lost, women, drinking, or a life full of sorrow, loneliness and empty promises, MFC lull you into their warm, enchanting and yearning harmonies and melodies, setting up the listener for a journey of exquisite melancholy beauty. They are, quite simply, one of the UK’s best 'Americana' bands.

Mountain Firework Company, Udderbelly, 20 May, 5pm, £8/£6. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

British Sea Power

Yiri Baa Yiri Baa (which means big tree) make exuberant, free-spirited and explosive West-African Highlife music that defies you to stay in your seat. Featuring the flute, saxophone and ngoni, plenty of tribal percussion and outrageous singing and dancing, Yiri Baa brings you the sunshine and passion of Africa. Led by Gambian artistic director Bucarr Ndow – a member of the international touring troupe The Master Drummers of Africa – the Yiri Baa musicians perform traditional rhythms fused with contemporary beats, played on both African and Western instruments. A regular feature on the festival circuit and based in Brighton, Yiri Baa formed in 1999 when Ndow brought together a group of musicians to fulfil an ambition of bringing his favourite West-African rhythms to British audiences. All the band members are accomplished musicians, touring and performing with other bands, with backgrounds in jazz, latin, calypso, folk and funk.

Yiri Baa, Udderbelly, 26 May, 3pm, £8/£6. Call 01273 709709 or see www.udderbelly.co.uk

Great Escape Over three days, more than 150 established and up-and-coming bands and singer-songwriters will perform at a number of Brighton venues as part of the Great Escape. The Udderbelly will play host on 19 May, when it will feature one of Brighton’s most well-known bands, British Sea Power, along with four superb new acts: Maps, Tiny Dancers, The Sonic Hearts and Circlesquare.

The Great Escape, Udderbelly, 19 May, 4pm. Open to Great Escape ticket holders only.

Visit www.escapegreat.com for info. latest 7 15

016_LS321_fashion

5/10/07

11:30 AM

Page 2

FASHION

Stay cool Harriet Hoff picks some perfect picnic and pub outfits The sun is shining, I’m taking a week off work and I am heading for pastures green. Take a picnic under the shade of a tree, dangle toes in the side of the river and finish the day with a gin and tonic in a country pub. Ah, perfect! Here’s my pick of clothes to relax in and look good…

1 Being British and being a fashionista, one still needs to maintain an air of fashion, darling, so the only trousers to be seen in are a pair of red skinnies (the bulls will love you!). Red jeans, £34.99, River Island 2 Stay cool in the heat in white, and let the sun bounce off these metallic discs. Disc tunic, £25, Red Herring at Debenhams 3 Happy toes are toes that are covered in jewels (just watch out for the cow pats). Jewelled sandals, £25, from Barratts 4 Keep the sun from ruining your gorgeous locks while bringing glamour to the country with this rafia floppy hat. Hat, £20, Accessorize 5 For floating about the grass, a cool summer frock will catch all the butterflies’ attention. Red smock, from a selection, Monsoon 6 As the end of the day draws in, cover up in a light summer jacket.

Do it in style with this fluted sleeved one. Jacket, from a selection, Dorothy Perkins 7 Slip some earrings in as you stroll to the pub for a little extra glamour.

Red lacy heart earrings, £5, and neutral brushed disc earrings, £9, both Accessorize 8 Keep your money for Pimm’s and nuts in a cute clutch bag. Striped fold-over bag, £15, Accessorize

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Box Office 01273 709709 www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk 16 latest 7

017_LS321_festival41

5/10/07

4:17 PM

Page 3

BRIGHTON FESTIVAL 11: Sporting Colours, Gloucester Street

Street talk

41 Places is a collection of innovative stories displayed on the streets of Brighton, and a curious snapshot of city life

Where do stories come from? And who do they belong to? Stories are all around us.

Incidents, accidents, conversations and chance encounters. From the everyday to the out-ofthe-ordinary, our stories make up the fabric of our lives. We use them to shape our world.

41 Places is an extraordinary artwork built from these stories, 41 unique moments in place and time – a street corner, a bus stop, a

shop, a park bench – collected and shaped into compelling short tales by writer, journalist and former Observer columnist William Shaw.

Designed by typographer Richard Wolfstrome and presented by leading 3-D company Standard 8 in a series of stunning and witty installations, these 41 found narratives are appearing across Brighton during May, on shopfronts and side streets, in car parks and public spaces…

1 “It’s only a bit of paper” Brighton Town Hall, Bartholomew Square

11 “I could have sworn I brought my bag in” Sporting Colours, 94a Gloucester Road

2 “You just know the moment you walk through the front door” The Clock Tower, junction of West Street and Queen’s Road

12 “...No one talked to you and the money just dissolved in your pocket” Railings outside 77–78 North Street

3 “Anything can happen at this time of night” Beach Hut café. King’s Road, at the bottom of West Street 4 “They talked about how rocky things had been” Selby Jewellers, 25 Meeting House Lane 5 “They reach out and kiss” BT Phone booth, Kings Parade, opposite Thistle Hotel 6 “Are we the wonderland she is thinking about?”

Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, Royal Pavilion Buildings 7 “He’s quite proud to be able to provide for his son this way” Ladies’ and gents’ toilets, Royal Pavilion Gardens, open 8am–10pm 8 “Gemma’s housemates were suspicious of the new boyfriend” Taxi Rank, East Street 9 “...But his brain still fizzes and sparks, unable to settle” Brighton Station 10 “...All she wanted to do was sit down on the cold pavement and cry” Outside Brighton Station

13 “...Right here on the pavement…”

Pavement, Churchill Square 14 “…How tough it is to be single when all your friends are in relationships” The No 7 bus 15 “Do I amuse you? Do you find me amusing? Do I make you laugh?”

City Bake House, 25 North Street 16 “He remembers the first time he saw this recording studio, three years ago, full of ambitions for the place” Round The Corner Studios, opposite The Pond, Gloucester Road

19: Ristorante Donatello, The Lanes

You can read the stories as you come across them or track down all 41 stories in a textual treasure hunt. Find them all using our guide below or the official map from shops, cafés and the festival ticket office in New Road.

Check out 41 Places: it’s the word on the street at Brighton Festival.

See www.41places.org for more information Sponsored by EDF Energy

22 “His parents don’t have a clue” Gemini Beach Bar, 127–132 Kings Road Arches, open 12pm until sunset 23 “…The sheer nothingy-ness of her Dad…” Starbucks @ Borders Books & Music, 6 Churchill Square, open Mon–Fri 9am–8pm, Sun 11–4.30pm 24 “That’s so rude” West Street 25 “…The bird flutters a little way off and stands, looking at them stupidly” Fountain Pump House, Victoria Gardens, Old Steine 26 “You’re like the Crocodile in Peter Pan” Blue Dragon Tattoo, 96 North Road 27 “All the way to Vienna, he carries the blooms carefully on his lap” Gunn’s Florists, 13–14 Sydney Street

17 “Can we go in one that’s a bit more gay?”

The Fortune of War, 157 Kings Road Arches, open daily

28 “We’re going to do it!

We’re going to do it!”

First Light, 3 Nile Street

18 “The first time she saw him, she thought, ‘Oh, I should stay away from him’” Deckchair, Brighton Pier, open 10am–10pm

29 “That was the first time he ever slept rough” The Earth & Stars, Windsor Street

19 “We’re not a couple!”

Ristorante Donatello, 1–3 Brighton Place, open 11.30am–11.30pm 20 “Tom feels instantly light-headed, dazed by the horror of the moment” The University of Brighton, Grand Parade 21 “…She still craves the taste…”

Caramella, 29a Kensington Gardens

33 “How much have you had to drink, sir?”

Traffic island, Old Steine 34 “What happened? You won the lottery?”

Churchill Square Shopping Centre, exit to car park, lower level 35 “Even her parents didn’t know what to do with Swena’s hair” Shae Shae, 50 Queen’s Road 36 “My word!”

West Street 37 “We destroy the myth that all accountants are boring” The Beach, 171-181 Kings Road Arches 38 “…Laughter follows them” Bill’s, 100 North Road 39 “They all knew it would be their last night together” Aruna’s News, 55 Gardner Street 40 “Rejoining real life was bewildering” Duke Street 41 “Act casual” Taxi rank, Brighton Conference Centre

30 “Some days he goes bacon-and-egging” Castor & Pollux, Kings Road Arches, open 11am–6pm 31 “Where did the thing that made you cry come from?”

Rounder Records, 19 Brighton Square 32 “The other day he found a 1966 American silver dollar on the beach.

Makes you think” Deckchair stand, Brighton beach

Call 01273 709709 to book tickets or visit www.brightonfestival.org

Go to www.41places.org for your downloadable 41 Places guide

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018_LS321_ads

5/9/07

4:58 PM

Page 1

HOVE TOWN HALL SUNDAY 20TH MAY 10.30am – 7pm Special promotion: • 1st prize: Win a clairvoyant reading and taped copy worth £35 plus free entry • 2nd prize: Win an aura photograph of yourself worth £25 plus free entry First 2 people to enter the festival on Sunday May 20th with a copy of this Spirit of the Millenium advert will win – doors open 10.30am.

PLUS Visit the Nash Manor Exhibition stand and enter a FREE DRAW to win a WEEKEND RETREAT at Nash Manor, near Steyning, West Sussex.

The prize includes Full Board accommodation and use of all facilities. Also included will be a refexology treatment and a crystal healing treatment worth £20 to the lucky winner.

Entrants must be over 18.

18 latest 7

019_LS321_beauty

5/9/07

4:00 PM

Page 1

BEAUTY

Put your money where your mouth is...

Brushing your teeth twice a day is only the start of maintaining optimum oral health. Try our selected products below for the best in dental hygiene and a healthier, whiter smile. Compiled by Zara Friend Sarakan Toothpaste and Mouthfresh.

Available from Holland And Barrett and all good health food stores. Buy online at www.sarakan.co.uk or call 01420 544424 Sarakan is a natural toothpaste inspired

by Middle Eastern tradition. Free of artificial preservatives and flavoured with natural peppermint oil, clove and geranium, this gentle toothpaste is suitable for children as well as adults.

Boots Expert Teeth Whitening Programme Available at Boots stores nationwide, £27.99 Boots have just launched their new Expert range and the Teeth Whitening Programme is at the forefront in keeping up dental hygiene at home. Quick and easy to use, this clinically proven programme has just three simple steps to a noticeably brighter smile. Working gently, without peroxide, stains are removed and teeth are lightened by several shades.

Boots Expert Antibacterial Mouth Rinse – Chlorhexidine. Only available at Boots, £2.99 Another new addition to the Boots Expert range, this mouth rinse should be used alongside brushing to banish bacteria in the mouth. When bacteria builds up, it causes plaque, gum problems and bad breath. This mouth rinse is specially formulated with chlorhexidine – clinically proven to kill bacteria.

Lavera Basis Sensitiv Mint Toothpaste The Dolphin House Shop, £2.35 Lavera Mint Toothpaste offers protection from tooth decay and promotes naturally white teeth and mint-fresh breath.

The special Lavera recipe with sea salt cleans the teeth intensively, yet carefully.

Natural dentine is retained as plaque, and tartar is removed. Effective sodium fluoride activates protection in seconds, helping to prevent tooth decay, while mineral microparticles gently dissolve stains. pH7.0-7.5.

Lavera Basis Sensitiv Neutral Tooth Gel The Dolphin House Shop, £3.75 A neutral gel recommended for sensitive teeth and gums, fluoride and phosphate allergies and during homœopathic treatment. Natural cleaning agents silicic acid and sea salt gently remove plaque, and natural carvone oil provides freshness of breath. The Lavera Neutral range of products have been specially formulated for people with allergies and extreme skin sensitivity. pH 7.0-7.5. BDIH certified.

Boots Expert Dental Mirror and Boots Dental Pick. Available from Boots stores nationwide, £2.49 each They say ignorance is bliss but this certainly isn’t the case when sat in the dentist’s chair six months down the line. Keep a close eye on your teeth and gums with this easy-touse dental mirror. Angled and long-handled, you will be sure to spot the first sign that something is wrong.

Let’s face it, no matter how well you brush, there are always places you can’t reach. This handy dental pick from Boots Expert range is designed to reach tricky little gaps, removing any remaining food and plaque while stimulating the gums too. Use once a week after brushing.

Weleda Medicinal Gargle. Available from independent health stores and pharmacies, or mail order from Weleda Direct on 0115 944 8222 or visit www.weleda.co.uk, £5.40 Weleda’s Medicinal Gargle is 100 per cent natural, made with biodynamic plant tinctures. A few drops mixed in water provides a refreshing mouthwash and should be used daily to promote healthy gums. This three-in-one gargle also helps soothe sore throats and mouth ulcers.

Weleda Calendula Toothpaste.

Available from independent health stores and pharmacies, or mail order from Weleda Direct on 0115 944 8222 or www.weleda.co.uk, £2.55 Weleda’s best-selling Calendula Toothpaste is peppermint-free and especially for users of homœopathic medicines. Naturally flavoured with fresh-tasting fennel and spearmint, a little less liquorice root extract now gives it more lightness.

Calendula is famous for its soothing and healing properties, keeping gums in top condition. A new chalk base gives a creamier consistency and colour, and more efficient cleaning.

Pearl Drops Replenishing White Liquid Calcium Tooth Polish. Available at Boots, Superdrug and all good independent chemists, £7.99 A patented formula to restore and protect the whiteness of your teeth. Replenishing White is the only anti-aging teeth whitener, replenishing your tooth’s brilliant white enamel surface and reversing the effects of time. latest 7 19

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BEAUTY

Look amazing Jessica Mason discovers that a skin peel can be as pleasant as a face massage, and work wonders too

Soul Purpose: Personal Support Sessions Powerful and compassionate support for any area of your life.

Life purpose/relationships/self-expression Helpful for: finding a safe outlet for your feelings, finding healing in your relationships, exploring your life choices and moving forward.

Working from a transpersonal perspective.

Allowing you to unfold at your own pace.

Couple counselling Express your truth with each other and communicate with trust and openess. Understand where you’ve become stuck and find the way forward together.

First session is free. Based in Brighton.

Contact Mark 01273 206850 mark@soulpurpose.org.uk www.soulpurpose.org.uk Soul Purpose are a company offering the experience of self-awareness to people from all walks of life, enabling them to find a deeper trust and openess with each other. They are best known for running the Turning Point courses.

20 latest 7

Brighton Laser Clinic has just introduced another fantastic treatment to its steadily growing range. Well known for its laser hair removal and thread vein treatments, it has now introduced a rather more relaxing and pampering treatment, the Jan Marini peel.

If skin peels conjure up scary images of those poor souls on 10 Years Younger with the burnt-looking faces, you need not be alarmed. These peels use glycolic acid – a natural acid derived from cane sugar – and achieves fantastic results with minimum fuss. The procedure is fast and convenient, taking only about half an hour. In fact, after the first treatment, I noticed immediate results yet could still pop my make-up back on, go back to work and no one would be any the wiser.

I was first provided with a pre-peel kit to prepare my skin two weeks before my first treatment. This is a four-step programme with various cleansers and moisturisers targeting different problem areas, like spots and fine lines.

I started to see results after the first few days. I had been suffering from a few spots, but the redness began to go down almost immediately and my skin began to appear clearer. I was looking forward to my treatment by this stage and was not to be disappointed. It really is very enjoyable. Your skin is first cleansed thoroughly, then the pre-peel treatment is applied, which just tingles a bit.

The peel is then applied and is massaged into your face, which is very relaxing. This part of the treatment only lasts a few minutes. A cooling, hydrating mask is then applied whilst you relax and put your feet up.

I was very pleased with the outcome. The treatment not only visibly diminishes the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles but also smoothes and softens skin, increases hydration and suppleness and balances irregular skin tones, giving you healthier, younger-looking skin.

It is recommended to have between four and six treatments in order to achieve the desired effect. After two treatments, I can see it working.

Leaving the clinic after my second appointment, I didn’t bother to re-apply my make-up as I was confident that my skin was clear and blemish free.

Jan Marini peels are available at Brighton Laser Clinic and can be used on the face, neck, chest and hands and are suitable for all skin types.

Brighton Laser Clinic, 56a Marine Parade, Brighton. Call 01273 686869 or see www.brightonlaserclinic.co.uk

021_LS321_health col

listings

5/9/07

3:54 PM

Page 1

HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Health & fitness

And Fitness, 10.15am, £3.50 Vajrasati Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2.30pm and 6–7.30pm, £6/4 Yoga With Jo. Fitforall, 7.15pm, £4

TUESDAY 15

Talk it out More than just a listening ear, professional counselling can be an excellent, empathic way to deal with the problems of modern life Why go to counselling?

For some people, the idea of counselling still conjures images of a hyper-neurotic Woody Allen whining to expensive New York shrinks about his mother. Not so. Counselling is for anyone who’s currently going through a hard time with anything from bereavement issues to relationship problems. More common that ever, it’s now fully endorsed by the medical establishment and available through the NHS.

How do I find a counsellor?

Recommendation always helps, but it might not always be something that you want other people to know about. The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (www.bacp.co.uk) offer an excellent ‘find a counsellor’ service on their website through which you can find accredited practitioners in your local area. All BACP members adhere to a strict code of practice that includes confidentiality and respecting clients’ dignity.

What can I expect from a counselling session?

Hopefully an empathic, professional listening ear – and eventually some strategies for coping with your problems. It’s not necessarily a ‘quick fix’, more a way to gradually overcome difficult issues.

Help!

If you already feel that you can’t cope, and even setting up an appointment feels like too much work, help is still at hand. The Samaritans offer a brilliant emergency talking shop available 24 hours a day (08457 90 90 90) or you can even email them through the website (www.samaritans.org.uk). Beware of other services you might find that offer the services of an accredited counsellor over the telephone – many of these are commercial ventures that can cost you upwards of £25 a call.

wave

Reach over 100,000 health-conscious readers across London and the Southeast with Wave, the region's only free glossy mind, body, soul monthly.

To advertise call Emma or Rhoda on

01273 818160 If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Abs Blast with Martin.

Fitforall, 6pm, £3 Astanga Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 12.45–2pm, and 6–7.30pm, £6/4 BE Pilates Mat Class Rehab/basic classes. Call 01273 273074 for info.

Back2Balance, 5.45–6.45pm, and 7–8pm, £45 for six weeks Boxing Class Drop-in.

Cheetahs Boxing Gym, 7.30–9pm, £4 (also every Fri 7–8pm, Sat 12–1.30pm and Mon 6–7pm, all £4) Hatha Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 6–7.30pm, £6/4 Hypnotherapy Free consults with Peter J Hassell.

Smoking, anxiety and other issues. Call 07884 213 599 Iyengar Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2.15pm, £6/4 Komaja’s Love Meditation Meditation and mantra singing. Komaja Centre, Hove, 7.30–9.30pm, £donation Kundilini Yoga Holistic Health Clinic, 6.30–8pm, £6 drop-in, £20 for four classes Low Impact Aerobics Dean’s Leisure Centre, 8–9pm, £4 Flamenco Dance Technique Contact Ana for more info. The Dance Station, 7–8.15pm, £8.50

WEDNESDAY 16 Abs and Backs Dean’s Leisure Centre, 8–8.20pm, £1 Aerobics Circuits Dean’s Leisure Centre, 7–8pm, £4 Ki & Aikido Basics For info, call Bob on 01273 323315.

Brighton Ki Centre, 7–9pm, £6 Ki & Aikido Teen Class 13–16 years. For info, call Peter on 07946 709120. Brighton Ki Centre, 5.15–6.15pm, £2.50 Meditation Introduction Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1–2pm and 7.30–9.30pm, £donation Morning Soto Zen Meditation For info, call Jay & Heather on 01273 682974.

Bodhi Garden, 7.30–8.30am, suggested donation £5 Open Meditation Evening Call Richard for info on 07796 331167. Bodhi Garden, 7.30–9pm, suggested donation £5 Pilates with Rachel Attmere.

New course starts today.

Phone 01273 722422 to book a place. The Acupuncture Clinic, 6.15–7.15pm, £42 for six classes Yoga Drop-in with Jackie Coulson. Wendy Whatling School of Dance, 9.15–10.45am (also Thu 7.45–8.45pm) Yummymummys Fitforall, 10.30am, £4 Yoga with Joanne. Coral Health and Fitness, 1.30pm, £3.50 Yoga Scaravelli-inspired, with Hayley North. The Acupuncture Clinic, 7.30–9pm, £8 drop-in/£35 for five classes

THURSDAY 17 Hip Hop/R’n’B Dance Class Peacehaven Leisure Centre, 8pm, £4.30 Lunchtime Oasis Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre, 1.15–1.45pm, £2/3 Mindful Hatha Yoga with Taravajra. Call 07985 314181 for info, 11.30–1pm Pilates Beginners’ matbased class. Book with Francesca on 07958 204 211.

Wendy Whatling School of Dance, 9.45-10.45am, £54 for six weeks Step and Tone Coral Health

FRIDAY 18 Back Care Pilates Book with Penny on 07904 472605. The Acupuncture Clinic, 11–12pm, £60 for six weeks Early Morning Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 8–9am, £5/3 Fitness Pilates Five-week course. Call 01273 305827 to book. Saltdean Community Centre, 9.30–10.30am and 11–12pm Morning Meditation Call Alan for info on 07966 046524.

Bodhi Garden, 7.30–8.30am Sahaja Yoga Class Meditation. Call Martin for info on 01273 202610.

Brighthelm Centre, 7–9pm, free Sivananda-based Yoga Beg/int with Kelly. Call 07828829965 for info.

Revitalise, 9.30–10.45am, £6 or £30 for six classes Soto Zen Meditation (Zazen).

Call Jay and Heather for info on 01273 682974. Bodhi Garden, 8.30–9.30pm, suggested donation £5 Tai Chi Chuan Class for over 50s. Contact Ian on 07900 193230 for more details.

Leach Court, 11.30am, £3 Tai Chi Peacehaven Leisure Centre, 7.30pm, £4.30 Vajrasati Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 6–7.30pm, £6/4 ViniYoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 9.30–10.30am, £7 or £35 for six classes

SATURDAY 19 BE Pilates Mat Class Beg/int. Call 01273 273074 for info. Coast Chiropractic, 10–11am and 11am–12pm, £45 for six weeks Coretastic! with James.

Fitforall, 10am, £4 Children’s Ki & Aikido For ages 4–7. Call Bob for info on 01273 323315. Brighton Ki Centre, 9–9.45am, £2.50 Dynamic Flow Yoga With Tara and Niki. The Acupuncture Clinic, 11.15am–12.45pm, £8 Hatha Yoga (Scaravelli) 90minute class. Coral Health and Fitness, 12pm, £4.50 Indoor Cycling Coral Health and Fitness, 9am and 10.15am, £3.50

SUNDAY 20 Hangover Spin Fitforall, 10am, £4 Legs, Bums and Tums Coral Health And Fitness, 10.15am, £3.50 Women’s Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 11am–12.15pm, £40 for six classes

MONDAY 21 Astanga Yoga All levels with Kevin Donovan (Moksharaja).

Brighton Buddhist Centre, 12.45–2pm, £4/6 Chen Tai Chi All levels. Call 07799 097776 for info.

Davigdor School, 6–7pm, £7 Early Morning Yoga All levels, with Tabitha. Brighton Buddhist Centre, 7.30–8.30am, £5/3 Fitness Pilates Drop-in class, 7.30–8.30pm, £5. Also a fiveweek course, Tue, 9.30–10.30 and 7.30–8.30pm. Dean’s Leisure Centre Flamenco Dance Beginners.

The Dance Station. 7–8.15pm, £8.50 Forest Sangha Group Call Sam for info on 07888 821524.

7.30–9pm, suggested donation £5 Hatha Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 6–7.30pm, £4/6

DIRECTORY The Acupuncture Clinic 143 Portland Road, Hove.

Call 01273 722422 All Saints Church Hall Eaton Road, Hove. Call Ian Kendall on 07900 193230 www.ik-taichi.com Anahata Health Clinic 119–120 Edward Street, Kemp Town. Call 01273 698687 Back2Balance 35 Goldstone Villas, Hove.

Call 01273 206 868 BE Pilates Studio 121 Eldred Ave, Westdene.

Call Carla on 01273 273074 Bodhi Garden Centre 7 Ship St Gardens, Brighton.

Call Richard on 07796 331167 Brighthelm Community Centre North Road, Brighton Brighton Buddhist Centre 17 Tichborne Street, Brighton. Call 01273 772090 Brighton Ki Centre 12 Queens Square, Brighton.

Call Barry on 07854 389606 Brighton Natural Health Centre Regent Street, Brighton.

Call 01273 600010 Brighton Reiki Centre Viaduct Road, Brighton.

Call 07968 982136 Cheetahs Boxing Gym Next to King Alfred Centre, Kingsway, Hove.

Call 01273 206644 Coast Chiropractic 198 Church Road, Hove.

Call 01273 321144 Coral Health and Fitness Orchard Road, Hove.

Call 01273 731262 Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove The Dance Station Unit 4, 57 North Street, Portslade. Call 01273 419977 Davigdor Infants School Somerhill Road, Hove. Call Bernie on 07799 097776 Dean’s Leisure Centre Longhill School, Falmer Road, Rottingdean. Call Karen on 01273 305827 The Dharma School Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Diamond Way Buddhist Centre Montpelier Road, Brighton. Call Ingrid on 07736 061108 Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex Loder Road, Brighton. Call 07895 066321 Fitforall Unit 1, Portland Road Trading Estate, Hove.

Call 01273 415515 Holistic Health Clinic 53 Beaconsfield Road, Brighton. Call 01273 696295 Johnson Page Healthcare Chiropractic & Medical Acupuncture, 15 Ship Street.

Call 01273 724777 King Alfred Leisure Centre Kingsway, Hove.

Call 01273 290290 Komaja Centre 21a Upper Market Street, Hove. Call Cela on 01273 771472 Leach Court Eastern Road, Brighton. Call Ian Kendall on 07900 193230 Patcham Community Centre Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Peacehaven Leisure Centre Greenwich Way, Peacehaven, East Sussex.

Call 01273 588858 Revitalise (Planet Janet) 86 Church Road, Hove.

Call 01273 738389 St Mary Magdalen Community Centre 55 Upper North Street, Brighton. Call 01273 676992 Unit 4 20–26 Roundhill Street, Brighton Wendy Whatling School of Dance Unit 11a, Dyke Road Mews, Brighton. Email: wendywhatling@btconnect.com List for FREE in this section.

Email health events to editorial@thelatest.co.uk with the date, place, time and cost.

latest 7 21

022_LS321_ads

5/9/07

5:59 PM

Page 1

216 Church Road, Hove

10% discount on take away Opening hours: 12.00pm-2.30pm and 6.00pm-11.30pm Offers exclude bank holidays

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The Blue Man North African Restaurant 11 Little East Street, Brighton (On former site of Momma Cherri’s)

01273 325529 Due to the success of our original restaurant we have now moved to the Lanes!

Serving up a selection of traditional full flavoured North African cuisine.

The Blue Man is now a fully licensed venue offering a wide range of North African, French & Spanish wine & beer Separate banquet room perfect for parties

Open Monday-Sunday from 6pm One of Brighton’s best kept secrets famous for it’s atmosphere and hospitality 22 latest 7

023_LS321_food

5/10/07

12:41 PM

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

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A warm glow Andrew Kay joins colleagues for a curry at Nooris in Brighton I think my days of the late-night curry are well gone. The very idea of eating that amount of rich and spicy food just before staggering to bed is revolting. In fact, I would rather eat earlier and earlier these days, and at home we are usually all done by just after 7pm. That way the food we eat has the time to be digested before we go to bed. It does have a drawback, mind you. If, for some reason, dinner is a light affair then you can end up sneaking cheese and crackers before bed and thus negating the benefits of eating early.

I recently reviewed an Indian restaurant in Croydon, where for under £12 I dined like a king. There are plenty of places down here with cheaper dining options too, some good and some not so. I can often be found availing myself of the set dinner at Donatello before nipping off to the Theatre Royal. That said, I can also be found indulging in oysters and champagne at Riddle And Finn’s when the mood takes me. I seldom indulge in Indian food before the theatre for obvious reasons, although a recent trip to see the Mahabharata at Sadlers Wells inspired a late-night curry, which I enjoyed at the time but less so at 3am when I sat up groaning and clutching my fat, spice-filled belly.

I seldom rave about Indian food down here. One recent meal found me sending back a dish of cheese with fresh ginger, green chilli and coriander as it had no fresh ginger, green chilli and coriander, just bottled, bright-red sweet chilli sauce. The chef sent a reply that he had run out. It was 6.15pm and there was a superstore next door. I was not impressed.

I was far too full for pudding, but has that ever stopped me from ordering one? No, of course not! I chose gulub jamum, not the lightest of dishes either, but what the heck. It arrived in a bowl of reasonably light syrup, well if syrup can be light, and was warm, soft and rather scrummy. I regretted eating it ten minutes later but at the time it was an excellent idea.

Nooris is now back on my list and I reckon that lessons have been learned. The place looks good, smarter than I remembered it and spotless.

The staff too were friendly, despite the onslaught of around 30 very hungry youngsters who by the end had descended on the room like a plague of rather trendy locusts, hell bent on demolishing a hill of poppadoms. Our meal voucher gave us dinner for £5 each for two courses, good value from a restaurant that I am glad to say seems to be back on course.

Nooris Indian Cuisine, 70–71 Ship Street,Brighton, 01273 329405

Passionate about property, fanatical about food 59 Church Road, Hove 01273 735237 www.callaways.co.uk

“Nooris is now back on my list and I reckon that lessons have been learned” For years I swore by Nooris in Ship Street. My Malaysian friend Raj thought it good and we never got stung for an enormous bill, it always seemed reasonable. Recently they had a set back, a poor inspection that led to a lot of poor press. I felt sorry that this had come to be, not that I would condone any lack of attention to hygiene. Anyway, I joined up with a couple of the gals from the office and we decided to take advantage of a cheap offer voucher and give the place our support.

We arrived about 6.30pm and the place was clearly set for a large party. Thank heavens we had not left it any later as the kitchen would have been under siege.

We ordered drinks and took a look at the special offer menu. It was surprisingly full, with more than enough choices. Ms K has a penchant for chilli that we are now used to, so it was little surprise that she ordered the hottest dishes on offer. Ms E is far more respectful of her digestive tract, as am I, so we opted for milder dishes.

When the food started to arrive we were impressed by the fact that it looked good, no skimping on presentation then for the bargain option.

My dish of Noori’s lamb was particularly good, with lean chunks of braised meat that had been re-fried in a spicy coating. It was generous too. The chicken and onion bhaji also made good impressions and again looked great on the plate.

Main courses were no less generous and again came with far more generous portions of the main proteins than we expected on a special offer menu. Rice too was good and overall there was far more food than any of us could really finish.

At this point, I popped out for a sneaky look around and I have to report that the place was pretty spotless. The service was kind and friendly too. There was never any shortage of courtesy, even though we were using a cheap offer voucher.

Soon the place started to fill up with an enormous party of students, we guessed, out for a celebration. Ms K was actually struggling with the heat from her prawn vindaloo, quite something for Miss Asbestos Knickers, and beads of ‘glow’ – I hesitate to say perspiration as she is a real lady – had started to gather on her brow.

New Exciting Menus Dinner Menu (3 course) £25.00 Sunday to Thursday 6pm till close ~~~~~

Lunch Menu (2 course) £11.95 Sunday to Friday 12pm to 5pm Or choose from our à la Carte menu ~~~~~ Please visit our web site to view menus

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024-25_LS321_Hot List/recipe

5/10/07

1:09 PM

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FOOD & DRINK

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

The Gourmet Fish & Chip Company The Gourmet Fish and Chip Company at Brighton Marina has taken the dish into the 21st century. Diners can enjoy fantastic top-grade fish and chips in a trendy diner environment and even enjoy a beer while they wait for their takeaway order. Check out the gourmet fish platter and lunch-time specials. The restaurant is located on the ground-floor level of the waterfront and is open seven days a week. Fully licensed.

The Walk of Fame, 18 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 670701 www.gourmetfishandchipcompany.com

New Steine Bistro

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Blanch House The restaurant at Blanch House is an inhouse affair. All involved are dedicated to excellence in food, service and wines but with no pretensions. You can sit back and take pleasure in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner at your best friend’s house while enjoying innovative food, attentive and personal service, and superb wine and cocktail lists. The menu changes with the seasons and availability to ensure that only the freshest high-quality produce is used.

Meat, dairy products and other ingredients are locally sourced and organic where possible. Fish is from the local day boats when available.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

Café Belge

Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! With its daily evening menu at £10.50 weekdays and £14.50 Friday and Saturday.

A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders. Available for all celebrations and party bookings with tailormade menu to your needs including live entertainment.

12a New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 reservation@newsteinehotel.com www.newsteinehotel.com

Polar Bar East The Polar East is pleased to introduce the new spring/summer menu. Freshly cooked British and European food using locally sourced produce. Great local atmosphere.

Beer garden with barbecue. Main meals from £3. All meat is supplied by Brampton's Premium Butchers.

8 St George’s Road, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 683334

Ruby Tate’s Situated at the heart of cosmopolitan Kemp Town, Ruby Tate’s oyster and champagne bar really is the pearl of Brighton. From moules marinière to lobster Thermidor, this is a paradise for seafood lovers. The restaurant’s stylish décor and trademark friendly service ensure that diners enjoy the gourmet food and fine champagne in a relaxed, informal atmosphere.

40 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 693251

Sevendials Restaurant

Café Belge offers award-winning food (Café Belge Eastbourne received a gold star for food from the prestigious Harden’s Guide 2006) – 50 ways to eat a fresh mussel, salmon fishcakes, award-winning 12” wild boar and beer sausage, fresh sea bass, steak Béarnaise, Toblerone fondue, Belgian waffles – just to give you an insight into what to expect. They also stock more than 100 beers all served in their own glasses, from light and delicious fruit beers to Trapist Monk beers to Belgian Guinness as well as a fine wine list.

64 Kings Rd (corner of West St & seafront), 01273 733290, www.cafebelge.co.uk

A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion, and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list that is full of treats without being expensive too. Make the most of the terrace while the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

The Coach House

The Terraces Bar, Grill and Dining Room

Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars, in summer people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

Terraces bar and grill offers customers a relaxed approach to drinking, eating and hospitality. The lower level is available for private parties, wedding receptions, corporate events, Christmas parties, formal dinners or product launches. Whatever you want, you can be sure of an experience as consistently satisfying as the breathtaking views across Brighton seafront.

Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 570526, www.the-terraces.co.uk

CROATIAN AND BOSNIAN Kaskada Kaskada brings the traditions of the Mediterranean to the UK. The first Croatian and Bosnian brasserie in Brighton, Kaskada promises professional friendly service, a warm cosy environment and honestly priced, well presented organic meals made completely from scratch – even the chips! Whether you are looking for a quick convenient bite, an impressive organised event or even a romantic evening, trust the creativity and excellence of the dishes or the warmth and friendliness of the surroundings, dining at Kaskada is a delightful experience.

Brighton’s best-kept secret. Open Sunday to Thursday 11am-midnight, and Friday to Saturday 11am-1am.

35 Queens Road, Brighton, 01273 321320

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats, Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari.

121 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer.

Great central location just off the seafront.

Portions are on the very generous side so order carefully. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu, especially the malai kupta. Excellent breads and side dishes too. £6.95 for a twocourse meal and £11.95 for a three-course meal with wine.

70 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 329405

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent-value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

LATIN AMERICAN Las Iguanas Brazilian cooking has come to town and with it all the fun of the caipirinha. Spicy, fun and inexpensive, this Latin newcomer is already proving popular, especially the two-for-one cocktail deals and an excellent £7 two-course lunch menu. Whacky interiors and a cool cocktail bar give the place a carnival feel all the time and the staff are friendly and fun too. If you don’t know what cachaca is, then it’s time to find out.

7–8 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 573550, www.iguanas.co.uk

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar.

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

Fat Leo

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This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad Russe and great jamon Serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party.

123 Western Road, Hove 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

THAI Chokdee Possibly the first of its kind, this premium take-away offers fantastic-quality Thai food to your door if you use the home-delivery service or to take away if you are passing.

You can eat in too, as there is a stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing. Foodies – start the queue!

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370, open every day (12pm–3pm and 5pm–11pm)

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love, for parties and celebrations, and because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and some new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet) This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos, delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. Open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver!

86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.com

BARS & PUBS The Bell This friendly, traditional pub reopened its doors at the end of last year after having undergone extensive refurbishment and is now under new ownership. Tucked away off Blatchington Road, it already has a name for itself for its great value food, freshly made every day from locally sourced products, including fantastic roasts on Sundays. The pub is child friendly and there’s often something extra going on, from quiz nights to live music. There’s also a function room available to hire and happy hours every Monday to Friday from 4-7pm.

15-17 Belfast Street, Hove, 01273 770773

Anness Publishing Ltd

SPANISH La Tapa De Oro

Blanch House The award-winning cocktail bar is located on the ground floor of the five-storey building and offers an eclectic range of superbly made cocktails. The owner, Chris Edwardes, has managed many renowned bars, restaurants and clubs in London, including the Groucho Club, The Pharmacy, as well as opening the Jazz Café, The Atlantic, and the Ge Club for Conran. His cocktail skills have been described as ’legendary’ by those in the know and with over 30 years’ experience in the industry it was only a matter of time before he opened his own quality venue.

17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, 01273 603504, www.blanchhouse.co.uk

The Eagle Great atmosphere, warm welcome, good beer and above all, great food from this gastropub. Hearty, modern food inspired by global cuisine and sensibly priced – you won’t go home hungry or broke. Right in the heart of the North Laine, an excellent place for lunch or dinner. Voted Latest 7 Pub Of The Year.

125 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 607765

GinGin Sophisticated cocktail chic at this stylish St James’s Street bar. Try one of the head barman’s innovative cocktails using unusual mixes and fresh herbs. Cool interiors and a warm and friendly atmosphere which, for once in a city that worships youth, is not ageist.

St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton, 01273 671119

The Hop Poles Great central pub with off-the-wall décor and a loyal clientele of the city’s fashionable best. A fantastic menu of wellpriced food means it gets very busy and seats are at a premium, even in winter on the heated terrace, so get there early.

Excellent free-range meat is specially sourced, while vegetarians are well catered for too.

13 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 710444

Koba Koba hosts a happy hour between 5pm and 7pm all week. Three bars over three floors with a dedicated team of mixologists. This venue stands as a flagship of quality in Brighton and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list and, of course, champagne for those special occasions or just the sheer love of it. The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Live music on Thursdays, DJs on the weekend. For free K-list membership go to the website.

135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

Preston Park Tavern This stunning new gastro-pub is situated on Havelock Road in Fiveways. Fresh, locally sourced food is served seven days a week from the open-plan kitchen. A separate children’s menu is available in this totally non-smoking venue. It boasts a great range of real ales and lagers as well as a 17 bin wine list, all served by the glass or bottle.

88 Havelock Road, Brighton, 01273 542271

What’s cooking this week?

150 Desserts: Pastries, Bakes, Cakes, Tarts And Pies Edited by Ann Kay If you’re planning on losing weight for summer, then it’s advised that you look away now. Still with us? Then, indulge with Southwater’s new recipe book: 150 Desserts. We can all treat ourselves every so often – it’s just important not to go too crazy. The problem is – this new book comes with 200 stunning colour photographs of the desserts, tempting the sweet tooth in us all.

With ideas for every occasion, this is filled with delicious desserts, ideal for whipping up at summer parties.

Try your hand at a strawberry roulade, a pineapple upside-down cake or the peach and brandy pie. There’s plenty of recipes using this season’s fruit, but if it’s sweet chocolate treats you’re after, then the chocolate pecan pie or the chocolate chiffon pie is sure to go down well.

Perfect your dessert-making skills with handy step-by-step instructions and impress friends with our chosen recipe below – the lemon and lime cheesecake. Light, fruity and ideal for after a summer barbecue. Enjoy!

Zara Friend

Lemon and lime cheesecake Ingredients 150g/5oz digestive biscuits 40g/11⁄2oz/3tbsp butter For the topping: Grated rind and juice of two lemons 10ml/2tsp powdered gelatine 250g/9oz ricotta cheese 75g/3oz/6tbsp caster sugar 150ml/quarter pint double cream

2 eggs, separated For the lime syrup: Pared rind and juice of 3 limes 75g/3oz/6tbsp caster sugar 5ml/1tsp arrowroot mixed with 30ml/2tbsp water Green food colouring (optional) Makes 8 slices

1 Lightly grease a 20cm/8” round springform cake tin. Place the biscuits in a food processor or blender until they form fine crumbs.

Melt the butter in a large pan, then stir in the crumbs until well coated. Spoon into the prepared cake tin, press the crumbs down well in an even layer, then chill.

2 Make the topping. Place the lemon rind and juice in a small pan and sprinkle over the gelatine. Leave for five minutes. Heat gently until the gelatine has dissolved, then set aside to cool slightly. Beat the ricotta cheese and sugar in a bowl, stir in the cream and egg yolks, then whisk in the cooled gelatine mixture.

3 Whisk the egg whites in a grease-free bowl until they form soft peaks. Fold them into the cheese mixture. Spoon onto the biscuit base, level the surface and chill for two to three hours.

4 Meanwhile, make the lime syrup. Place the lime rind and juice and sugar in a small pan. Bring to the boil, stirring, then boil the syrup for five minutes. Stir in the arrowroot mixture and continue to stir until the syrup boils again and thickens slightly. Tint pale green with a little food colouring, if you like. Cool, then chill.

5 Spoon the lime syrup over the set cheesecake. Remove from the tin and cut into slices to serve.

150 Desserts: Pastries, Bakes, Cakes, Tarts and Pies, edited by Ann Kay, is published by Southwater Books, priced £8.99, ISBN-978-1-84476-382-5

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 15

Thursday 17

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 12.00, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 ALPHA DOG (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15 FRACTURE (15) 2.15 GOYA’S GHOSTS (15) 11.45, 5.15 NEXT (12A) 8.45 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.15 SUNSHINE (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 DIRECTOR’S CHAIR: ORCHESTRA SEATS (12A) 8.00

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 12.00, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 ALPHA DOG (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 10.45, 1.00, 3.30, 6.15 FRACTURE (15) 2.15 GOYA’S GHOSTS (15) 11.45, 5.15 NEXT (12A) 8.45 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.15 SUNSHINE (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 SENIOR SCREEN: MISS POTTER (PG) 10.30am

Wednesday 16

28 WEEKS LATER (18) ALPHA DOG (15) BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) GOYA’S GHOSTS (15) NEXT (12A) SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) SUNSHINE (15)

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 12.00, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 ALPHA DOG (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15 FRACTURE (15) 2.15, 8.00 GOYA’S GHOSTS (15) 11.45, 5.15 NEXT (12A) 8.45 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.30, 8.30, 9.15 SUNSHINE (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00

Films showing Friday 18–Monday 21

PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR CONFIRMATION OF FILMS SHOWING FROM FRIDAY

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 15

Friday 18

AWAY FROM HER (12A) 1.30, 6.30 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 4.00, 9.00

JOE STRUMMER (15) 4.00, 9.00 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 1.30, 6.30 LATE NIGHT: EL TOPO (18) 11.30pm

Wednesday 16 AWAY FROM HER (12A) 1.30 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 4.00 BAD FILM CLUB: STEPHEN GRANT VS HIGHLANDER (15) 8.30 BIG SCREAM: DREAMGIRLS (12A) 11.00am

Thursday 17 AWAY FROM HER (12A) 1.30, 6.30 LOVE STORY (TBC) 11.00pm MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 4.00, 9.00

Saturday 19 JOE STRUMMER (15) 6.30 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 3.30 LOS OLVIDADOS (12A) 1.30

Sunday 20 DEEP CRIMSON (18) 1.30 EL TOPO (18) 4.00 JOE STRUMMER (15) 9.00 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 6.30

Monday 21 JOE STRUMMER (15) 4.00, 9.00 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 1.30, 6.300

www.cineworld.co.uk

01273 818094 Tuesday 15

Thursday 17

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.45, 9.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 1.40 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 3.50, 6.30, 8.50 NEXT (12A) 3.15, 8.40 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 10.45, 11.45, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.15, 5.15, 6.15, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30 THE PAINTED VEIL (12A) 12.20, 5.40 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 4.00, 6.40, 9.10 VOLVER (15) 11.00 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.15, 1.30

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.45, 9.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 11.30, 1.40 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 3.50, 6.30, 8.50 NEXT (12A) 3.15, 8.40 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 10.45, 11.45, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.15, 5.15, 6.15, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30 THE PAINTED VEIL (12A) 12.20, 5.40 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 4.00, 6.40, 9.10 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.15, 1.30

Wednesday 16

28 WEEKS LATER (18) BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) GOODBYE BAFANA (15) MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) MY BEST FRIEND (12A) NEXT (12A) SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) THE PAINTED VEIL (12A) THIS IS ENGLAND (18) WILD HOGS (12A)

28 WEEKS LATER (18) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (PG) 11.50, 2.10, 4.30, 6.45, 9.00 MR BEAN’S HOLIDAY (PG) 11.30, 1.40 MY BEST FRIEND (12A) 3.50, 6.30, 8.50 NEXT (12A) 3.15, 8.40 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A) 10.45, 11.45, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.15, 5.15, 6.15, 7.30, 8.30, 9.30 THE PAINTED VEIL (12A) 12.20, 5.40 THIS IS ENGLAND (18) 4.00, 6.40, 9.10 WILD HOGS (12A) 11.15, 1.30

Worthing Cinema

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk please call for times

Tue 15-17 SPIDER-MAN 3 (12A)

26 latest 7

Films showing Friday 18–Monday 21

PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR CONFIRMATION OF FILMS SHOWING FROM FRIDAY

Tue 15-17 AMAZING GRACE (PG)

Fri 18-19 GHOST RIDER (12A)

Also showing...

A quick look at all this week’s releases Alpha Dog (15) Dir: Nick Cassavetes Drama based on the life of Jesse James Hollywood, a drug dealer who became one of the youngest men ever to be on the FBI's most wanted list. Justin Timberlake stars. (2/5) Showing at Odeon Amazing Grace (PG) Dir: Michael Apted This timely exploration of the slave trade is an admirable film with a somewhat dry and muddled execution. Ioan Gruffud plays William Wilberforce as he attempts to persuade Parliament to abolish slavery. (2/5) Showing at Worthing Away From Her (12A) Dir: Sarah Polley This directorial debut from indie stalwart Sarah Polley is an insightful look into growing old and dealing with dementia. A low-budget gem that will move even the hardest of cynics to tears. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Bad Film Club: Stephen Grant vs.

Highlander (15) Nicko, Joe, and special guest Stephen Grant do battle with classic 80s film, Highlander.

This quasi-religious epic stars Sean Connery alongside general idiot Christopher Lambert.

Join in the fun as the film is dismantled in the name of comedy. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Bridge to Terabithia (PG) Dir: Gabor Csupo Based on the 1970s classic book by Katherine Paterson, this faithful rendering tells the story of two reluctant childhood friends and their adventures in a fantasy world. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Deep Crimson (18) Dir: Arturo Ripstein A dark and amusing tale of jealousy and obsession this is the 1996 Mexican classic from Ripstein. Based loosely on the infamous Lonely Hearts murder case this twisted film showcases Ripstein’s devilish style. (3/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Dreamgirls (12A) Dir: Bill Condon Beyonce Knowles stars alongside a rejuvenated Eddie Murphy and Best Actress winner, Jennifer Hudson. Despite the glitz, this is an exercise in American schmaltz. (2/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Fracture (15) Dir: Gregory Hoblit Rubbishy drama with Anthony Hopkins as a murderous businessman locked in a battle of wits with Ryan Gosling’s assistant DA. (1/5) Showing at Odeon Ghost Rider (12A) Dir: Mark Steven Johnson Cheesy adaptation of the Marvel comic hero Johnny Blaze and his transformation into a hell-blazing vigilante. (2/5) Showing at Worthing Goya’s Ghosts (15) Dir: Milos Forman Indulgent tale of the artist Goya and his obsession with his muse. (2/5) Showing at Odeon Love Story (TBC) Dir: Mike Kerry and Chris Hall Celebrating Love's music this documentary tells the story of the cult LA band, Love, and their charismatic leader Arthur Lee. There are interviews with band members along with archive footage. Inevitably, it is the touching interviews with Lee that provide the focus of

the film. He sadly passed away as the film was being completed. (4/5) Showing at Duke of York’s Miss Potter (PG) Dir: Chris Noonan Lavish but sickly drama based on the life and strife of Beatrix Potter. Renée Zellweger takes the lead alongside Ewen McGregor. (2/5) Showing at Odeon Mr Bean’s Holiday (PG) Dir: Steve Bendelack Mr Bean returns as he travels to the south of France. Traditional slapstick fun as Mr Bean’s video diaries accidentally get a gala screening at the Cannes Film Festival. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld My Best Friend (12A) Dir: Patrice Leconte The always excellent Daniel Auteuil teams up with Leconte yet again in this whimscal and funny film. Auteuil plays a middle-aged man who finds out that none of his friends actually like him. With a delicate panache this is gallic charm at its most accessible. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld and Duke Of York’s Next (12A) Dir: Lee Tamahori Phillip K Dick’s story The Golden Man gets a haphazard adaptation as Nicholas Cage plays a man with the ability to see three minutes into the future. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Orchestra Seats (12A) Dir: Danièle Thompson Slick and witty French film in which a young waitress’s life gets complicated. (3/5) Showing at Odeon Spider-Man 3 (12A) Dir: Sam Raimi Spidey is back again in this darkly sweet third installment. Venom, The Sandman and The Green Goblin all make villainous returns. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld, Odeon, and Worthing Sunshine (15) Dir: Danny Boyle Epic sci-fi adventure as Cillian Murphy and a host of international stars reignite a dying sun in order to save the earth. Inventive but mildly confusing. (3/5) Showing at Odeon The Painted Veil (12A) Dir: John Curran Based on the novel by W Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil is a love story set in the 1920s played out with grace by Edward Norton and Naomi Watts. (3/5) Showing at Cineworld This Is England (18) Dir: Shane Meadows Without doubt the best British film of the last few years this follow-up to the excellent Dead Man’s Shoes finds Meadows hitting his stride with confidence. (5/5) Showing at Cineworld Volver (15) Dir: Pedro Almodóvar Penelope Cruz stars in this excellent tale of love, sex, and death. (4/5) Showing at Cineworld Wild Hogs (12A) Dir: Walt Becker Oddball cinema with John Travolta, Tim Allen, William H Macy, and Martin Lawrence. Ray Liotta makes a welcome addition as an irate biker but the film never quite recovers from the shock of John Travolta’s ever-increasing waistline. (2/5) Showing at Cineworld

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L7 lowdown Cinema loco New releases reviewed

Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten (15)

7 Selects

Director: Julien Temple The titular Clash frontman finally gets a documentary all to himself.

Punk stalwart Temple patches together a series of interviews, to weave a rich tapestry of a man both humble and full of fire. Among the celebrity talking heads on display, Bono is the most hyperbolic while Steve Buscemi the most unique. Johnny Depp and Jim Jarmusch add a touch of indie class to proceedings. In a similar vein to the recent Scott Walker and Leonard Cohen documentaries, this is a gripping portrait of a man whose spirit is sadly missed.

Craig Driver Showing at Duke of York’s

naked young Franciscans whipped with cactus. See the bandit leader disembowelled. See the priest ride into the sunset with a midget and her newborn baby.” Disney this ain’t.

Showing at Duke of York’s

Goodbye Bafana (15)

28 Weeks Later (18)

Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo This entirely unnecessary sequel to the excellent 28 Days Later removes all the verve of the original and replaces them instead with gore, gore, and more gore. The film is set six months after the rage virus was inflicted on the population of the British Isles. This time round the US Army is drafted in to help and also cynically expand the commercial market of the film. In an utterly unexpected twist of fate (note sarcasm) things do not go to plan as zombies wreak havoc, bodies get mauled, and blood gets splattered.

Rose Byrne and Robert Carlyle star as the humans on the run. Sadly the charm has gone and so has the wit.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

El Topo (18)

Director: Alejandro Jodorowsky Classic Americana and oddly avant garde European cinema meets religious fervour in this madcap tale of lone gunfighter and cosmic mystic El Topo. As our hero travels across the frontier, he must vanquish four of his enemies on the path to spiritual enlightenment amid a flourish of surreal episodes. Jodorowsky takes the lead role. As the poster at the time so bravely stated: “See the

Director: Billie August This brave and often startling film is the true story of a white South African racist (played expertly by a rough-edged Joseph Fiennes) whose life was profoundly altered by the black prisoner he guarded for 20 years. The fact that the prisoner was Nelson Mandela lends a certain poignancy to the film, which helps to carry it through territory often tread, but never executed in such a decisive manner. Dennis Haysbert, the president in 24, is excellent as Mandela, bringing a poise and wry intelligence to the role of a man damned by circumstance but liberated by hope. If only the script was as tight as the performances.

Showing at Cineworld

With the Mexican Season at Duke of York’s Craig Driver discusses cult director Alejandro Jodorowsky

Alejandro Jodorowsky is an actor, playwright, director, producer, composer, mime, comic book writer and psychotherapist who boldly claims that “Most directors make films with their eyes. I make films with my cojones.” Born to Ashkenazi Jewish parents of Russian origin Jodorowsky is a cinematic anomaly. Sometimes Mexican, sometimes French, he has made only a handful of films and yet is revered by David Lynch, Marilyn Manson and most famously by John Lennon as one of the greatest directors ever to walk this earth.

The man who once famously stated that “I ask of cinema what most North Americans ask of psychedelic drugs” now works primarily as a New Age spiritualist, plying his trade as one of the world’s leading researchers of the Tarot. Lately he has committed a lot of time to developing a psychological therapy called “Psychomagic” which aims to heal the psychological wounds suffered in the early stages of life. Odd doesn’t really cover it.

Having worked with famous artists such as Marcel Marceau, Maurice Chevalier, H R Giger, Dan O’Bannon, Jean Giraud, Jodorowsky has never been short of inspiration. He started his film career in Mexico with Fando y Lis (Fando and Lis: Tar Babies, 1968). This feature-length film, detailing the adventures and ritual abuse of a young couple, debuted in Acapulco at the Film Festival where it famously incited a full-scale riot resulting in Jodorowsky being smuggled out in a limousine. This was swiftly followed

by El Topo (The Mole, 1970), a mystical western brimming with surrealistic flourishes and glimmers of asylum chic. John Lennon and Yoko Ono were big fans helping to arrange the film's release and distribution in the United States. Jodorowsky’s third film, La Montaña Sagrada (The Holy Mountain, 1973) was entirely financed by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. At a projected budget of $1,500,000, it was to have been the most expensive Mexican film production to date.

Jodorowsky began working in 1975 on an adaptation of Frank Herbert's Dune. The project was intended to involve his son, Brontis, Orson Welles as the Baron, Salvador Dalí as the Emperor, Mick Jagger as Feyd Rautha, Alain Delon as Duncan Idaho, Geraldine Chaplin as Lady Jessica, and Pink Floyd, H R Giger and Jean Giraud, among others.

Ultimately, its funding evaporated, but Jodorowsky claimed the project was sabotaged by the major studios in Hollywood. Many close to the project claim that the set designs later turned up in Star Wars. In the early 1980s, David Lynch, a studious fan of Jodorowsky, would later make the first film adaptation of Dune.

In an interview with Premier Magazine, Jodorowsky recently claimed his next project will be a gangster film called King Shot. This epic tale will apparently star Marilyn Manson as a 300 year-old pope with Nick Nolte co-starring. Indeed, Jodorowsky and Manson are so close that the director officiated at the wedding of Manson and burlesque superstar Dita Von Teese. In recent years Jodorowsky has turned his attention to penning comic book and graphic novels, and has designed some of the most outlandish and elaborate works to hit the shelves.

With the Mexican Season taking place at Duke of York’s we are given a rare opportunity to view his 1970 classic El Topo on the big screen.

Revel in the madness and sun-kissed debauchery. Just watch out for the midgets. They might still bite.

The Jodorwosky Collection featuring El Topo and La Montaña Sagrada in addition to four other films and two soundtracks is out now on Tartan Video.

Los Olvidados (12A)

Director: Luis Buñuel This edgy 1950s film tells the story of a group of juvenile delinquents living a violent and crime-filled life in the festering slums of Mexico City.

Buñuel made this film in the shade of the burgeoning Italian neo-realist movement where realism was valued above capitalist indulgence.

Alfonso Mejía as Pedro is outstanding throughout, and the film itself acts as a bold precursor to the brilliant City of God, made some 50 years later. A rare achievement, and a film to be cherished.

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THE BIG GIG

THIS WEEK Flipron Superb four-piece band from Somerset who mix music hall moves with lounge lizard electronic blues to create an exotic pop brew that seems to have found favour on the alternative festival circuit.

Debut album Fancy Blues and Rustique Novelties secured them a cult following which was cemented by last year’s Biscuits For Cerebrus. There’s a bit of The Small Faces in there, a pinch of The Auteurs, and a smidgen of Tom Waits. Led by the very funny and literate lyrics of Jesse Budd, theirs is a uniquely English amalgam of swing, organ-heavy blues rock, and a bohemian vibe – a bit like Sherlock Holmes high on opiates…

Sussex Arts Club, Brighton, Wed 16 May, 01273 727371

Willy Mason Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark Andy McCluskey and Paul Humphries have followed the reform-for-cash movement, hoping that they’ll be enough people out there who actually remember ‘Electricity’, ‘Joan of Arc’ and ‘Enola Gay’.

Brighton Dome, Fri 22 June, 01273 709709

Latest 7’s Top 5 records The Maccabees Colour It In (album Fiction) For a band that could barely play their instruments when they first started out just a few years ago, Brighton’s finest are more than capable of using their instruments to produce an endless stream of songs that bite with vigour. Combining strong pop hooks with intricate guitars and a blistering rhythm section, the band’s overall sound is fully realised by Orlando Weeks’ distinctive voice, and accessible, story-like lyrics. It’s brilliant pop music in the Great British tradition.

1

Bjork Volta (album One Little Indian) Possibly the most successful avant garde musical artist around, Bjork continues to tempt fate with another off-beat collection of collage-like tracks, this time with a strong shipping theme! An acquired taste.

2

Beverley Knight Music City Soul (album Parlophone) Morphing into a fully-fledged soul singer much like Joss Stone, this upbeat album of American-style soul was recorded in just five days in Nashville. Brimming with good-time vibes and gospel overtones.

3

The Cribs Men’s Needs, Women’s Needs, Whatever (album Wichita) Crazy title from this Wakefield three-piece who continue to plough a similar Franz Ferdinand post-punk furrow, especially so since Franz’s Alex Kapranos is at the production helm.

4

My Life Story Megaphone Theology (album Exilophone) A collection of B-sides and rarities from Jake Shillingford’s My Life Story.

This is orchestral pop with lashings of glam.

5

One of the highlights of this year’s Great Escape Festival, Willy burst onto the acoustic singersongwriter scene with his amazing debut album Where The Humans Eat, released in America on Conor Oberst’s (Bright Eyes) Team Love label.

Containing the classic state-of-the-nation epic ‘Oxygen’, Mason quickly found a following in the UK, culminating in a headline appearance on the John Peel stage at Glastonbury in 2005. His new album, If The Ocean Gets Rough, is a continuation of his ability to write simple, yet elegantly played, modern tales of American people and life.

Pavilion Theatre, Brighton, Fri 18 May, 01273 709709

Happy Mondays The reformations just keep on a-coming. I’m not really sure if I am ‘down’ with all this reforming, reconstituting and regurgitating. There is something important to be said about NOT re-visiting your heroes, because there’s a huge likelihood that you may be very disappointed.

So, with that cautionary advice in mind, don’t expect Ryder, Bez and co to blow you out to sea with their classic baggy funk. Still, are we not interested to see how they have coped with the ravages of abuse and time?

Brighton Pier, Thurs 17 May, part of The Great Escape Festival, see www.escapegreat.com for more information

For music listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 41 28 latest 7

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

028_029_LS321_music

5/10/07

1:54 PM

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MUSIC

BRIGHTON SCENE A weekly round-up of what’s happening in the local Brighton and Sussex music scene Situating itself right in the middle of the May festivities, The Great Escape Festival (Thu 17–Sat 19 May) is a superb addition to the festival calender. Featuring over 150 bands in a variety of venues over a concentrated three days, it’s your chance to see many up-and-coming acts from around the world, as well as a few established headliners.

Brighton is represented fairly well this time around, which only seems a natural reflection of the fact that here, we are producing countless acts of the highest quality.

Top of the list has to be The Maccabees (Honey Club, Sat 19 May), a brilliant five-piece who will be celebrating the release of their debut Young Soul Rebels album this week. Also with debut releases out this week are visceral rap and rock hybrid Floors And Walls (Hectors, Thu 17 May) with single ‘The Stand’, taken from debut album What Can We Do Today, out on 4 June, and the upbeat and mod-influenced Young Soul Rebels (Hectors, Fri 18 May) whose debut single ‘Engineer’ betrays a healthy mix of punk, new wave and American leftfield hardcore influences.

Kate Walsh (Red Roaster, Thu 17 May) has been getting a lot of press for her album Tim’s House, a collection of acoustic numbers recorded on a very small budget, but which has been championed by iTunes, thereby sparking a great deal of record label interest. Also getting a lot of attention is the former BIMM student Paul Steel (The Hope, Sat 19 May) whose conceptual April & I album showcases his prodigious musical talents, love of the Beach Boys and assorted 70s soft rockers, and an eccentric streak, that often manifests itself on the stage.

Other new talents to look out for include the witty storytelling folkpunk duo Peggy Sue & The Pirates (The Hope, Thu 17 May), the stripped back and lyrically quaint Enid Blitz (Hope, Fri 18 May) and the delicately experimental electronic folk of Mechanical Bride (Concorde 2, Fri 18 May).

This year will also witness an ‘Alternative Escape’, featuring a load of gigs, more on a local bent. Not surprisingly, there are some juicy ones to keep your eyes peeled for (Great Escape ticket holders are eligible to gain free access to these events). Highlights include the brilliant acoustic pop of The Big Hairy Band (Sussex Arts Club, Thu Big Hairy Band 17 May), which features several members of The Hat and Mountain Firework Company. Also on the bill there’s the night-time gypsy blues and eclectic folk of the fantastic Cordelia Fellowes and her Gypsy Squat Pop Project, Nik Barrell and The Gin Club’s melancholy and bluesy folk-pop, and Megan Goodwin’s jazzy pop songs. For a more upbeat session, try the blazing brass and ska-party fusion of Los Albertos (Lo Lounge, Fri 18 May) along with The Happiness who impart a strong sense of theatricality and a great deal of energy within their guitar-driven songs.

Send your music and news to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH. Listen to Jeff and guests from the Latest magazine stable on the Latest Soup show on Radio Reverb, Mon–Fri, 4–6pm, 97.2FM or via www.radioreverb.com

latest 7 on the radio Tune into Radio Reverb 97.2FM Mon–Fri, 4–6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

THE MONTH AHEAD Mingus Big Band It would have been Charles Mingus’ 85th birthday this year, but this highly ranked jazz composer and double bassist reached the end of the road back in 1979. However, since 1991, Mingus’ widow Sue has made it her mission to ensure his legacy continues via the Mingus Big Band. This UK tour features stalwarts of the group including trombonist Ku-Umba Frank Lacey and singer Boris Koslov. The 14-piece outfit have been keeping the legacy alive at New York’s Fez under Times Square since 1991, striving to invoke all the brooding muscularity, soulful heart and oblique innovation that made Mingus a jazz giant.

Brighton Dome, Wed 23 May, 01273 709709

Black Horse Festival Just along the coast there is a great little festival that seems to becoming more important and reputable with each passing year. The Black Horse Festival is based at the little village of Telham which is near Battle and Hastings, and is a four-day eclectic brew of world, roots, folk, country and even pop music.

This year’s line-up is the best yet and features a number of world class acts such as Daby Toure, Osibisa, Boum!, Baka Beyond, Waterson:Carthy, The Fold and Waking The Witch. Of particular note is a headline appearance by The Blockheads as they celebrate 30 years in the business. For this show they will be teaming up with former band mate and Dr Feelgood guitarist, Wilko Johnson.

Local acts are represented by Youngplan and a number of other indie bands for the Bank Holiday Monday, and the festival finishes on the Monday evening with a party including a big soul band.

Black Horse Festival, Telham, 25–28 May. Visit www.blackhorsefestival.org.uk.

Tickets: 01424 781111

The Blockheads

NOWBOOKING Mingus Big Band 23 May, Brighton Dome G4 24 May, Brighton Centre Ray Davies 26 May, Brighton Centre Girls Aloud 29 May, Brighton Centre NME New Music Tour 30 May, Concorde 2 Pet Shop Boys 30 May, Brighton Centre Tom McRae 5 June, Concorde 2 Manic Street Preachers 6 June, B’ton Dome Gary Moore 9 June, Brighton Dome CocoRosie 12 June, Komedia, Brighton Allen Toussaint 15 June, Brighton Dome INXS 17 June, Brighton Dome Devo 18 June, Brighton Dome Ronan Keating 21 June, Stanmer Park Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark 22 June, Brighton Dome Jools Holland & Lulu 23 June, Borde Hill Garden, Haywards Heath Royal Philharmonic 24 June, Stanmer Park Blackmore’s Night 23 June, Brighton Dome Rufus Wainwright 24 June, Brighton Dome

Suzanne Vega 2 July, Brighton Dome Damien Rice 14 July, Brighton Dome The Be Good Tanyas 24 July, St. George’s Church Loop 18 August, Victorian Gardens James Last Orchestra 22 September, Brighton Centre Natasha Bedingfield 26 September, Brighton Dome Don McLean 23 October, Brighton Centre Dio, lommi, Butler and Appice 11 November, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper, Motorhead 13 November, Brighton Centre Beverley Knight 24 November, Brighton Dome Babyshambles 25 November, Brighton Centre Status Quo 13 December, Brighton Centre From The Jam 21 December, Brighton Centre

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030_LS321_RR/Molly

5/10/07

11:35 AM

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RADIOREVERB

Foxy Mamma Malone Malone learns some harsh truths about mothers while watching Jeremy Kyle

97.2FM

latest soup Brighton’s favourite magazine dishes up a tasty broth of chat, music and interviews Hosted by Latest 7’s music commander Jeff Hemmings with new tunes, old classics and hot local talent. Tune in Monday to Friday 4–6pm

every Monday 4–6pm...

Latest 7 funny girl Vicky Nangle has a giggle with guests from the comedy circuit every Tuesday 4–6pm....

Latest Art’s Colette Meacher gets stuck into the arts scene every Wednesday 4–6pm...

Latest Sounds with top live guests every Thursday 4–6pm...

From Arnie to art house, Craig Driver and guests catch up with the latest talk on the big screen

For the last nine months I’ve been blaming every whingy bit of behaviour from my baby on teething. Little did I know. It wasn’t teething, it was her personality! Now I know what teething is. It’s when my otherwise content baby goes from smiling and playing happily with an empty tissue box (I call it a development toy) to suddenly screaming and then back to staring at Jeremy Kyle on ITV like nothing happened.

Maybe she’s sick of daytime TV and its nowt to do with teething.

Maybe she just can’t stand Jeremy Kyle – a lot of people can’t you know. I like the show because it makes me feel posh compared to the people on there. I think things like ‘Jesus at least I’m not like them’.

Which reminds me... I really must stop blaspheming. I went into a church the other day looking for a baby class. I was a bit lost and asked “Where’s St Mary Magdalen?”. The man at St Peter’s kindly looked up the address for me in the Yellow Pages, realising I was nowhere near the place I should have been. Embarrassed, I left saying, “God knows what I’m doing here!” He looked at me with eyes that said, “Yes, God knows my lost child”.

“What kind of mother sells her daughter marijuana and sleeps with her boyfriend?!”

Anyhoo… Here’s some of my favourite Jeremy Kyle-ism’s: “If you stopped smoking cannabis all day long and got a job, maybe you’d be able to be a proper dad to your son and he wouldn’t be out mugging grannies!”; “What kind of mother sells her daughter marijuana and sleeps with her boyfriend?! That’s it, walk off the show. You’re a coward, woman!” Ha, ha, ha. His show makes out that we are a nation of weedsmoking, knife-wielding, mother-hating, Primark-wearing KFC eaters.

Perhaps Kyle is right and everyone does hate their mother? I know quite a few people who do. I think my own mother put fears and emotions onto me, that were all about her own life. She used me as an emotional pinboard and talked to me more as a mate than a daughter.

And I called her by her first name, never ‘Mum’. I wonder if this is central to our problems as well as society’s.

Perhaps we shouldn’t treat our kids like our friends, but actually be parents – the friends bit can wait until they are grown up. I wonder if while trying to be your child’s best friend, they lose respect for you. You might gain a buddy, but maybe you lose the ability to discipline your child, while loading too many emotions onto their developing brains.

Is it because we all want to be liked so much we let our kids get away with murder? Or does it just make our lives easier in the short-run but harder in the long-run? Like giving my baby Calpol for teething, instead of letting her bite on my fingers or a carrot to break the gum, and bring out the teeth quicker, but more painfully?

Hmm. Now where’s that Calpol…?

For comments and chit chat email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

and every Friday 4–6pm...

Join Latest Homes’ resident fat boy Andrew Kay with his extra special guests from the worlds of theatre, food and drink Listen live at radioreverb.com or get in touch by emailing studio@radioreverb.com 30 latest 7

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 92 ACROSS: 1 Undergraduate 7 Rhubarb 9 Uncle 10 Greeting 11 Cast 13 Tattoo 15 Pencil 18 Wrap 19 Darkness 22 Ditto 23 Premise 24 Worthlessness.

DOWN: 1 Upright 2 Douse 3 Reaction 4 Drum 5 Archaic 6 Elect 8 Bone 12 Reckless 14 Traitor 16 Listens 17 Camp 18 Widow 20 Exile 21 Moth.

Solution to Quick 92 ACROSS: 1 Interrogation 7 Elastic 9 Easel 10 Assailer 11 Spin 13 Tablet 15 Wonder 18 Pond 19 Relapses 22 Panel 23 Auditor 24 Disappearance.

DOWN: 1 Inexact 2 Trays 3 Retailer 4 Ages 5 Insipid 6 Nylon 8 Chef 12 Colander 14 Bananas 16 Reserve 17 Vera 18 Piped 20 Satin 21 Slap. © Crossword Shop

For coverage in this magazine email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

031_LS321_barsbarreview/clubs

5/9/07

5:34 PM

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BARS &CLUBS

THIS WEEK AND THE MONTH AHEAD ★Latest 7 competes in the Sussex Coaster quiz A proper ‘locals’ local’, the Sussex Coaster on the South Coast Road in Peacehaven welcomes ‘outsiders’ as it were, and the Wednesday quiz night is the time to pay a visit.

For 50p entry per person, things kick off at 8.30pm, with ten questions in each round.

The categories aren’t named until the night, so anything can happen. It’s good to have a solid team of all-rounders , but the threat of ‘plants and animals’ and ‘books and literature’ rounds didn’t deter a group of three girls.

Things looked up when the literature round was substituted for television, but when the questions included, “When did Blue Peter first air?”, it was a case of simply picking a 1950s date out of thin air.

With bottles of wine all round for the winning team (which unfortunately wasn’t us), we then took part in the snowball round – three questions and a near £100 to share out among the winning contestants. With this on offer, it was worth guessing that Harry Enfield studied politics at college. It had to be a subject like that, one you wouldn’t quite expect!

Narrowly missing out on the jackpot, we moved to the adjoining bar for a game of darts, played along to classic 80s sounds on the self-selection jukebox.

Zara Friend

Cansei de Ser Sexy

The Sussex Coaster, 80-82 South Coast Road, Peacehaven, East Sussex, BN10 8SJ, 01273 582145. The next quiz night is Wednesday 16 May. Please confirm with venue before travelling.

Club NME @ The Great Escape OK, so you’ve just spent the entire evening trying to get near the two good bands that every other tight-trousered hipster wants to see at the Great Escape – but to no avail. Don’t panic, thanks to Britain’s most féted music weekly you’ve got a chance to chill out to some noveau indie sounds, drink Magners and pretend you spent the night backstage schmoozing with CSS (pictured). Who knows? You might even get to meet your favourite indie pop peeps in the flesh (or at least Kevin Rowland and/or a random Kook).

Komedia, 44, Gardner St, Thursday 17 May, 11pm–late, free with pass

Honey 3rd Birthday @ Honey Club The soiree that’s helped bring unpretentious clubbing back to Brighton enters its toddling years with a special guest slot from electro house don Micky Slim and carnage from the residents. With the usual ‘look good – have fun’ raison d’être, it’s a good idea to leave any moodiness at home along with your dubstep compilations. “You’re gonna love it,” reports Mickey on his slightly scary MySpace page, and know what? – you just might.

+ The Happiness Fri 18 May, Lo Lounge (Under The Hilton Brighton Metropole, Kings Road) 9pm–2am £5 www.losalbertos.co.uk

Honey Club, 214 Kings Road Arches, Friday 18 May, 10pm–3am, £8/5

Mr Bongo @ Heist Whether it’s dirty electro, filthy electro or slightly mingin’ electro, it’s all just house music (give or take the odd wobble) to me. Those who are sick of 4/4 in all its permutations could do worse than seek out this weekly soiree from Brighton’s own specialists in all things Afro, Mr Bongo, who’ll be knocking out sultry Latin, samba and jazz just a maraca’s throw from the seafront.

Big Hairy Band + Gypsy Squat Project + Nik Barrell & The GinClub + Megan Goodwin

Heist, 57 West Street, Thursday 17 May, 11pm–late, free

Sunset Sessions @ Ocean Rooms As much as students whinge and moan, state-sponsored unemployment (aka doing cultural studies) has its benefits, one of which is partying late into Wednesday morning with nowt to get up for the next day.

Shamelessly pandering to the whims of this demanding market, Sunset Sessions are kicking out the funky house plus cheap drinks combo to lure in cool studes. Get in! – as they say all the time in Ibiza.

Thurs 17 May Sussex Arts Club 8pm-late £4/3

Oean Rooms, 1 Morley Street, Tuesday 15 May, 11pm–3am, £3/£2

For bar/club listings see our day-to-day guide starting on page 41 latest 7 31

032_LS321_gay

5/10/07

11:19 AM

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GAY

News

CHOICE

Religion @ Charles Street Club Perhaps it’s time to confess your sins, or maybe it’s just a damn good boogie you’re after. Either way, Thursday nights are getting ever more Godly as Richard Jones, Tony B, Mother Superior Joan Bond and the Religion Team host a divine intervention in classic and upfront house music. Who really does any work on Fridays, anyway? See you there!

Charles Street Club, Thu 17 May, 10.30pm–3am

Boys’ sleepless night over lesbians A father in Arkansas is demanding $20,000 compensation after his sons found a book called The Whole Lesbian Sex Book in a public library. Earl Adams insists that his sons, aged 14 and 16, were ‘greatly disturbed’ by the book, which led to ‘sleepless nights’ for his sons. Apparently they were tossing and turning all night. Lawyers are questioning the validity of the claim.

Tue 15 May Queen’s Arms Food, wi-fi and happy hour till 7pm. The Crooners’ Lounge is a new piano bar with complimentary sandwiches. Open 2.30–11.30pm.

Wed 16 May

Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger banging away upstairs with the fabulous Lollipop Girls hosting downstairs. £5 before 11, £7 after. Open 10.30pm–5am.

Sat 19 May

R-bar From 9pm, any double is just £1 extra. Happy hour is 5–9pm. Open 12pm–2am.

HQ Miss Jason is on stage at 10.30pm. Free before 11pm/£5 after. Open 9pm–4am.

Thu 17 May

Sun 20 May

Charles Street Club Religion. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B. £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS. Open 10.30pm–3am.

Fri 18 May Revenge Lollipop vs Kinky

Audio Sunday Sundae returns for a summer of sexy sizzling fun! Open 6pm–11pm

Mon 21 May Marlborough 12pm–12am. Students social night from 6pm.

Games, pool and tunes.

Wannabe president’s drag past Photos of former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani in drag are being circulated to try and damage his chances of being elected president. Republican candidate Rudy has only done drag three or four times. At a party in 1997 he turned up wearing a blonde wig, make-up and a pink gown.

Joan Bond @ Religion

Pubs & bars Amsterdam, 11 Marine Parade Bar, hotel, sauna and popular summer terrace. Food available every day. 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aquarium, 6 Steine Street Traditional back-street boozer.

01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Barley Mow, 92 St George’s Road Mixed and friendly local in Kemp Town serving good food.

Nice outside terrace too.

01273 682259 Brighton Rocks, 6 Rock Place Fabulously stylish bar and restaurant with outside decking. 01273 601139 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street Landmark gay pub for 25 years.

Entertainment, happy hours.

01273 694097 www.bulldogbrighton.com Charles Street, 8 Marine Parade Huge, swish café/bar serving food. Outside terrace. Open till 3am Fri/Sat. 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road Popular pub with huge selection of vodkas.

01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross Gay oasis in the countryside near Gatwick and very popular.

01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk Jack Horner, 80 High Street, Worthing Worthing’s only gay pub. Some themed nights. 01903 236427

32 latest 7

Legends Bar, Dance and Hotel 31-34 Marine Parade Recently reopened after a multimillion pound refit.

Marine Tavern, 13 Broad Street Cosy, traditional and friendly boozer with real beer.

01273 681284 www.marinetavern.co.uk Marlborough, 4 Princes Street Large pub popular with the girls, with a great theatre upstairs.

01273 570028 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk PV, 22 Upper North Street Great mixed pub with cool interior and regular live music.

01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms, 7 George Street Opens 3pm daily. Top acts every night. 01273 696873 www.queensarmsbrighton.com R-Bar, 7 Marine Parade Open till 2am, Sun–Thu; 24 hours, Fri–Sun. 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar, 19 New Steine Stylish bar, friendly atmosphere.

01273 607456 Star Inn, 5–9 Manchester Street Traditional-style pub in Kemp Town for bears, with quiz on Thu. Extensive lunch and dinner menu every day, plus great Sunday roasts. 01273 601450 Vavoom, 31 Old Steine Video bar, right next door to Revenge. 01273 603010 www.vavoom.co.uk White Horse, 30 Camelford St Friendly mixed local.

01273 603726 The Zone, 33 St James’s Street Bar promising something different for Brighton’s drinkers.

01273 626442

To comment on these stories

please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Clubs Audio Hosts Sunday Sundae 10 Marine Parade Weekly chill out with occasional specials and drink promos.

01273 606906 Candy Bar, 129 St James’s Street UK’s only lesbian nightclub, ’til 3am, Fri/Sat. 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Charles Street Club, 8 Marine Parade Sleek club above Charles Street Bar. Nightly promoters.

10pm–2am, 01273 624091 HQ, 43 Providence Place Bar/nightclub, cabaret/strippers, Fri/Sat nights. 9pm–4am, Fri/Sat. 01273 620630 www.hq-brighton.co.uk Monkey, Brighton Gloucester, 27 Gloucester Place Every Saturday night. www.wildfruit.co.uk 01273 688011 Revenge, 32 Old Steine Huge two-floor club.

10pm–3am, Sun–Thu ’til 5am Fri and Sat ’til 6am. www.revenge.co.uk Therapy @ Rehab Waterfront, Brighton Marina A weekly gay night at Brighton Marina, every Friday. A lovely stylish big bar!

V2, 5 Steine Street Open every night from 8pm until late. 01273 603010 Wildfruit, Creation, 78 West Street Usually once a month, with themed nights. One for your calendar! www.wildfruit.co.uk

3SIXTY is Brighton’s brightest monthly gay magazine with news, interviews, features and listings for the gay scene around Brighton and Hove.

May’s edition is out now. Pick up your free copy across the city.

You can also now download a full issue at www.3sixtymag.co.uk 3SIXTY T: 01273 570570 E: info@3sixtymag.co.uk

033_LS321_stage

5/10/07

1:19 PM

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STAGE

Testament Award-winning solo performer, George Dillon in The Gospel Of Matthew –

By Candlelight If you were to collectively ask people who have ever seen George Dillon perform what they thought of him, they would reply almost as one: ‘breathtaking’. There is an intensity to a Dillon performance that can transfix an audience, and his ability to hold them is extraordinary. This work was inspired by an encounter with Bob Geldof at Euston Station, and created as a response to 9/11 and its aftermath. Awardwinning solo performer George Dillon’s powerful one-man production of his own translation of The Gospel Of Matthew premiered at the Corn Exchange during the Brighton Festival in 2002, but has not been seen in his home town since then, despite going on to tour internationally, earning a Best Actor nomination from The Stage at Edinburgh, and being filmed for BBC’s Songs Of Praise and for ITV in Scotland.

Previously accompanied by music, lighting effects and video projection, Dillon has now reworked the performance to be experienced as Jesus’ followers first heard the gospel – in darkness, illuminated only by candlelight and the words themselves.

It is a technique that he used to brilliant effect many years ago: disturbingly intimate, but at the same time compulsive.

Now, for one night only, and not as part of the Festival, Brighton audiences will again have a unique opportunity to experience the intense drama of the earliest account of Jesus, as brought to life by an internationally acclaimed solo performer in the intimacy of the Nightingale Theatre. Over 600 people saw Dillon perform at the Corn Exchange, but the Nightingale only seats 50, so book early and bring a cushion!

The Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, Thursday 17 May 2007. Book tickets on 01273 709709 or see www.georgedillon.com/theatre/the_gospel_of_matt hew_by_candlelight

Hysterical The world is ending. And it’s ending at table nine at Komedia A word in my ear from Komedia, and the added knowledge that David Lavender is a massive fan of this show were all I needed to head off to the Battersea Arts Centre to inspect Inspector Sands and Stamping Ground Theatre’s Hysteria, which is set to arrive in Brighton this month.

It’s not my favourite venue, the stage is too low, with facial expressions lost to those in the higher tiers, but it does have a certain intimacy.

The lights dim and the play starts, at first with some odd solo mime – strange, but it does set the tone for what is to come.

Before long we are witness to the most awful date of all time with the world’s weirdest waiter.

A man and a woman embark on the liaison from hell. He is an academic whose research into modern-day neuroses is threatening his sanity.

From time to time he leaves the scene to conduct a lecture, a device that at first seems awkward, but eventually sits well.

What follows is the most extraordinarily upsetting interaction between two humans over dinner. They almost circle the table on

Skin deep Red Dog’s new production at The Hawth in Crawley All Festival-ed out? Then slip quietly out of town to see Skin Tight at the Hawth – a new performance from Red Dog Theatre Company this May. Moving, magical, passionate and brutal, this evocative and emotionally charged piece is everything a love story should be.

Tom and Elizabeth’s life together is filled with adoration and raw passion; they fight, they make up, they love and grow old. But Elizabeth is dying, and this is their last opportunity to reflect upon and share their most intimate secrets, their greatest passions, their joys and losses. During these final moments together, their relationship is

separate rails, so dysfunctional is their relationship. Their painful evening totters dangerously on the edge of tragedy, but manages to cling to the solid ground of comedy. It’s upsetting stuff: there are things that ring true, despite the almost surreal nature of their date, and the audience, while one minute roaring with laughter, the next is shifting uncomfortably in their seats at some poignant moment of self recognition.

Throughout, the androgynous waiter treats the couple with that terrible disdain that certain waiters can have. The waiter exists in another world, on another track, that rather than circling comfortably with the couple, occasionally crashes into them.

Brilliantly conceived, sparsely staged to great effect, moving, funny and, in a way, over too soon, Hysteria was developed at the BAC and the Nightingale Theatre, Brighton.

Hysteria is on at Komedia, Gardener Street, Brighton, Thu 24–Fri 25 May at 8pm and Sat 26–Sun 27 May at 6pm. Tickets are £12.50/£10.50. Please ring the box office on 01273 647100, or see www.komedia.co.uk

at its most intense. Their bodies and minds yearn for each other as passionately as ever, fiercely competitive and yet ultimately bound by a love that transcends all.

Written by Gary Henderson, one of New Zealand’s most prominent writers, and based on The Magpies by poet Denis Glover, Skin Tight explores love and the human condition. You will find yourself completely absorbed by their relationship – a relationship filled with a love that pulsates and endures despite loss, war and betrayal.

Red Dog Theatre Company is fast evolving as one of the most innovative and exhilarating theatre companies in Britain today. Using cutting edge theatrical techniques, they produce hard-hitting contemporary pieces that challenge the way you view traditional theatrical performance.

Don’t miss their brand new production.

Skin Tight is on at The Hawth, Crawley, Saturday 19 May at 8.15pm, tickets are priced £10.50/£8.50/£7.50 and are available from The Hawth box office on 01293 553636 or see www.hawth.co.uk

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000_LS321 Stanmer House

5/9/07

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5/10/07

1:28 PM

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STAGE

THEATRE LISTINGS

From Tuesday 15 May to Monday 11 June BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Import/Export – Les Ballet C de La B. A stunning performance combining dance, acrobatics, live music and song exploring the theme of powerlessness.

•Tue 15 May, 8pm, £15–£22.50 Michael Clark Company Contemporary dance.

•Sat 19 May, 8pm, £6–£22.50 Laurence Olivier’s Henry V Celebrating Olivier’s centenary, a digitally remastered print of film Henry V set to the first ever live performance of William Walton’s original orchestral score.

•Mon 21 May, 7.30pm, £50/£35/£25/£18/£12.50 SOLD OUT Breakin’ Convention A chance to see the world’s finest bodypoppers and breakers in action, with Electric Boogaloos’ Frank Ejara, and Franck II Louise. Amazing dance.

•Fri 25–Sat 26 May, foyer events from 6pm, show 7.30pm, £20/£15/£10 Festival Ceilidh With kids’ cocktails, bar for adults and resident caller to show you the moves.

•Sun 27 May, 7pm, £26 family ticket (two kids max), £9 adults/£6 children

BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk Blue/Orange Two psychiatrists argue over the diagnosis of a patient who claims to be the son of Idi Amin.

•Tue 22–Sat 26 May, please book through Brighton Festival website

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Cannon and Ball A chance to see the great double act who have been in showbusiness for over 40 years.

•Wed 23 May, please call for times and prices Truman Capote Talk Show Bob Kingdom’s portrayal as the tortured, adorable and wicked writer of Breakfast at Tiffany’s makes its farewell tour. Share in the unique, bitchy and heart-breaking evening with the infamous Truman Capote.

•Wed 30 May, please call for show times and prices Beyond The Barricade Leading theatre musical concert now its its record-breaking eighth year.

•Fri 1 June, please call for times and prices Cash On Delivery Ian Dickens Productions present a comical farce about a man who’s pocketed thousands through fraudulent DSS claims. Mayhem follows when his lodger opens the door to the DSS inspector...

•Thu 7–Fri 8 June, please call for show times and prices

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk The Last Confession The world premiere of this new thriller surrounding one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican.

•Tue 15–Sat 19 May, please call for show times. £10–£32 Macbeth Patrick Stewart leads a fine company in a portrayal of Shakespeare’s most bloody tragedy.

The bard’s Macbeth is a man willing to murder king and comrade in a quest for the crown.

•Fri 25 May–Sat 1 Sept, please call for show times and prices Babes In Arms Rodgers and Hart, one of Broadway’s finest partnerships present Babes In Arms, with songs including ‘The Lady is a Tramp’, one of musical comedy’s finest.

•Tue 29 May–Mon 2 July, please call for show times and prices

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Yippeee!!! The Cholmondeleys and The

Featherstonehaughs in a highly theatrical spectacle not for the fainthearted. An enthralling and controversial dance. Suits ages 14+.

•Thu 17 May, please call for times prices Skin Tight Magical and brutal play about love and the human condition. Elizabeth is dying and she must make the most of her time left with Tom, sharing memories and dreams.

•Sat 19 May, please call for times and prices Little Howard’s Kids’ Show Big (human) Howard is back with Little Howard – a cartoon animation – in an new comedy show that all the family can enjoy.

•Sat 19 May, please call for times and prices CYT Show Crawley Youth Theatre present a play about kids on a school trip to Alton Towers, with an unexpected twist on their journey.

•Tue 12–Wed 13 June, please call for times and prices

KOMEDIA, BRIGHTON 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Brecht On Magic Three gods from Bertolt Brecht’s play come to earth looking for socialist culture in capitalist society. A blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary.

•Tue 15–Wed 16 May, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 ‘I’m Your Late Night Evening’ – Slowly I Turn Theatre/cabaret with two female performers, based on the popular Vaudeville skit.

•Thu 17–Sat 19 May, 6.30pm, £5/£3 Anne Pigalle: Spirit of Ecstasy/Blank Productions: Life Studies A double bill exploring love, sex and intrigue in Anne Pigalle, plus Mark Hewitt’s evocative nudes in words with an experimental live literature production.

•Sun 20 May, 6.30pm, £7/£5 The Adventures Of Tom Thumb Modern day telling of Grimm brothers’ tale with Tom as a bedridden 80-year-old, dreaming of escaping his nursing home for one last adventure. Ages 6+ •Sun 20 May, 2pm, £6/£5 Taylor Mac Performance art and comedy with gender-bending surrealism, exploring the human condition. A socio-political tirade.

•Tue 22–Wed 23 May, 9.30pm, £12.50/£10.50 Gamarjobat European premiere of comedy show Rock’n’Roll Penguin, with Brighton Fringe Festival award winners, Gamarjobat •Wed 23–Sat 26 May, please call for show times, £12.50/£10.50 Hysteria An awkward dinner date with an academic whose research is threatening his sanity and an events manager who is terrified of missing the party.

•Thu 24–Sat 26 May, please call for show times, £12.50/£10.50 Queen Of The Slaughter Live music, dance and theatre. A man leaves home to fight on the front line in a cause he believes in.

•Fri 25–Sun 27 May please call for show times, £10/£5 20,000 Leagues Under The Office On a lunch break, two office workers suddenly find themselves plunging towards the centre of the earth. A sensational comedy debut from Publick Transport filled with parody and melodrama.

•Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 8pm, £12.50

These Four Walls The tale of Lena, a young cellist in 1930s Berlin, who hid her Jewish family in her apartment. Now, there is only the cupboard to hide in…

•Fri 18–Sun 20 May, 8pm (Fri and Sat) 2pm (Sat and Sun), £7/£5 Blame Us Drama sketches with young trainee executives with a unique approach to corporate learning.

•Tue 22–Thu 24 May, 6.30pm, £5 The Elevator Man 5d Theatre Company presents a comedy about a hapless dreamer who meets a dream woman.

•Tue 22–Thu 24 May, 8pm, £8/£6 Cuss The World A shocking exploration into lives of 21st century teenagers.

•Fri 25–Sun 27 May, 6pm, £7/£5 A Public Kind Of Privacy Dubbed as a Dr Faustus experience – a rising political star comes face to face with her past.

•Fri 25–Sat 26 May, 8pm, £7/£5 Boutique Theatre Festival burlesque spectacular with sensual striptease and twisted physical theatre.

•Fri 25–Sat 26 May, 10pm, £8/£6 Smoke And Mirrors Three interlocking monologues about disappointment, hope and strength, relationships, love and loss.

•Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 4pm, £6/£4 Little Howard And The Magic Pencil Of Life And Death Family show combining animation and real life. Little Howard meets his maker – The Pencil of Creation.

•Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 2pm, £5/£4 Thomas Kett’s Odd Tales For kids aged 6–11: Tom imitates the people he’s met, pets he’s owned and his naughty friend Jessie.

•Sat 26–Sun 27 May, 12pm, £5/£4 Don’t Feed The Poets End of festival cabaret with funny wordsmith Rob Gee and more.

•Sun 27 May, 8pm, £6/£5 Spirit Of Gravity Electric performances with Brighton’s foremost electronica collective.

•Tue 29 May, 8pm, £4/£3

NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Richard III Shakespeare’s tale about a country led by criminals: Leaders pose as religious men drawn reluctantly into war, and innocents are killed by men in pursuit of power and wealth.

•Tue 15–Sat 19 May, 7.30pm, please call for prices American Buffalo Three small-time crooks plot a midnight robbery. But in the hours leading up to the heist friendship becomes the victim in a conflict between loyalty and business.

•Tue 22–Sun 27 May, please call for show times and prices

NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk Fierce by Fireraisers.

Please call the venue for more information.

•Tue 15–16 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Gospel of Matthew by George Dillon •Thu 17 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 The Confessions of Punch & Judy by NACL •Fri 18–21 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Believe by Linda Marlowe. Please call or visit the website for more details.

•Tue 22 May, 8pm, £10/£8 Bacon by Pip Utton. Please call for details.

• Wed 23–24 May, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50

MARLBOROUGH THEATRE, BRIGHTON

THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON

07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Raised In Brighton Second year acting students from Varndean College present theatre created in response to growing up in Brighton.

•Tue 15–Wed 16 May, 6pm, £5 Caviar And Chips The story of three unlikely friends who run away to Wrigley. Original comic routines, tequila nights and more.

•Thu 17–Sun 20 May, 6pm, £8/£6 Manno in “Butch – A Queen’s Struggle To Become A King” Part love story, part musical, Manno is tired of being the token gay guy and decides to ‘butch up’ and get in touch with his masculine side.

•Tue 15–Thu 17 May, 8pm, £8/£6

08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Me: Moir Join Vic Reeves, actor, writer and comic for an evening of reminiscences on life as Jim Moir.

•Wed 16 May, 7.30pm, £10 King Arthur Henry Purcell’s opera transporting us to First World War trenches, with an enchanting score mirroring the fantastical vision of the Western Front.

•Thu 17 May, 7.30pm, £5–£22.50 The Magic Flute A reinvention of Mozart’s classic tale of heroes, damsels in distress and magical spells.

•Fri 18–Sat 19 May, 7.30pm, £15–£26 Mahabharata World premiere of new musical

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

theatre, telling the epic story of ancient India, revealing a mythic world of conflict and beauty.

•Tue 22–Sat 26 May, 7.45pm every day, and 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16–£23 Aida The magnificent story of war, jealousy and revenge – the doomed love of beautiful slave girl, Aida, and Egyptian hero, Radamesopera.

•Mon 28–Sat 2 June, 7.30pm plus 2pm Sat, £14.50–£30 Tosca Chisinau National Opera with a company of 170 present Puccini’s Tosca. A story of love, torture and treachery set against the backdrop of Rome at its bloodiest.

•Thu 31–Fri 1 June, 7.30pm every day and 2.30pm Thu, £12.50–£30 Boogie Nights The tenth birthday of the smash hit 1970s musical on stage in Brighton. Relive the disco hits and boogie on down.

•Mon 4–Sat 9 June, 7.45pm. 5.30pm Mon–Wed and 8.30pm Fri and Sat., £tbc

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Musical Comedy Society Presents: Thoroughly Modern Millie Musical set in New York. Discover a brave heroine in this brand new stage version which includes a full score of both old and new songs.

•Mon 21–Sat 26 May, 7.30pm and 2.30pm, mats Wed and Sat, £15/£10 Dangerous Corner Ian Dickens Productions present J.B. Priestley’s classic drama about Robert Caplan who insists on uncovering the truth about his brother Martin’s “suicide”. Many revelations ensue.

•Tue 5–Sat 9 June, 7.30pm, and 2.30pm mats Wed and Sat, please call for prices

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The King And I Presented by Sussex Musical Productions. The classic musical of English widow Anna, and her life at the Royal Palace in Bangkok as tutor to the King’s many children and wives.

•Tue 15–Sat 19 May, 7.30pm, and 2.30pm mats Wed and Sat, £12/£10 Humpty Dumpty And The Incredibly Daring Rescue Of The Alien Princess In Deep Space Half-term fun for kids in the show with one of the longest titles ever! Gags, laughs and audience participation.

•Tue 29 May, 2pm, £7.50 The Tale Of Little Red Riding Hood Half-term special telling the classic story of Little Red, her Grandma and the wolf. New scenery plus an ultraviolet woodland sequence.

•Thu 31 May, 2pm, £7.50 That’ll Be The Day A feel-good party atmosphere with over 100 songs featuring pop and rock’n’roll hits from the 50s, 60s and 70s.

•Sun 3 June, 7.45pm, £17–£19 The Secret Land Beneath The Sea A cast of 100 children and adults star in the tale of Admiral Gull’s daughter who disguises herself as a cabin boy and runs away to sea. An original story staged as a dance production, revealing a beautiful world under the sea.

•Sat 9–Sun 10 June, 7pm, plus 2.30pm Sun, £11/£8

Patrick Stewart in Macbeth at the Chichester Festival Theatre

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KIDS

EVENTS

THIS WEEK’S PREVIEWS Brighton Hip Hop Festival 2007

Wild wonder

In its fourth year, the Brighton Hip Hop Festival (BHHF) launches this Saturday 19 May with a special event at the Sallis Benney Theatre.

The largest celebration of hip hop culture, a whole host of activities have been designed for this weekend, showing what can be expected in the forthcoming July programme.

Be one of the first 100 people through the doors this Saturday to get a free Zebra Traffics CD and enjoy live showcases from Dirty Diggers, Enlish, Monkey Sons and more. There will be record stalls, ticket giveaways and food and refreshments throughout the day.

Devoted to hip hop, the event will see beatboxing, live graffiti and BBoy battles. Don’t miss out on the celebrations.

Sallis Benney Theatre, University of Brighton, Grand Parade, Brighton, Saturday 19 May, 3pm–8pm, £3 – tickets sold on the door. Capacity is limited so RSVP to info@bhhf.org with how many tickets you would like to reserve. Please put MAY LAUNCH in the title bar.

Sussex Wildlife Trust have come up with a great learning activity for kids, discovers Zara Friend

Arundel Castle Garden Tours

Bring out your wild side with the Sussex Wildlife Trust (SWL) this Saturday 19 May in an all-new outdoor adventure.

SWL are working closely with local children to teach them essential survival skills when out in the wild. The setting may not be the remote wilderness, but Stanmer Park and its woods create a perfect venue to get back to nature and experience life in the wild, while remaining in the city of Brighton.

A range of bushcraft activities are planned for this special event. These include making whistles and pencils in the woods. Children will discover the wonder of wood and come away with new knowledge after this fun learning activity.

Suitable for children aged 7–12 years old, this is a great learning experience for youngsters and there’s plenty of fun to be had too, so bring along siblings and friends and go wild.

Meet at the entrance to Stanmer Park at Lower Lodges Car Park, Saturday 19 May, 11am–1pm. Cost for members: Adults £2/children £3/family ticket £8. Non-members: Adults £3/children £4/family ticket £12. Booking essential – please ring Filma Dyer on 01273 497561.

There’s a chance to tour the stunning gardens in the historic grounds of Arundel Castle this Friday 18 May. Experienced and amateur gardeners alike will enjoy the beautiful and extensive gardens in a tour led by either Head Gardener Gerry Kelsey or Deputy Head Gardener Isobel McKinley.

The gardens were largely developed in the 1850s, although a new plan was formulated in the 1990’s for a revival of the gardens when the present Duke and Duchess of Norfolk moved in.

The Victorian theme is preserved with the restoration of the peach and vine houses and the walled vegetable gardens. New elements have been added including a contemporary rose garden.

Visitors will see exotic fruits such as guavas, papaya and chilli peppers grown under cover, and the prairie meadow, which is new for this year.

Arundel Castle Garden Tours, Friday 18 May. £15, including general admission to Fitzalan Chapel, gardens, grounds, the castle keep, restaurant and gift shop and a complimentary tea or coffee and biscuits. £20, general admission to the castle rooms is also included.

Early booking advised on 01903 882173, visit www.arundelcastle.org or email: info@arundelcastle.org

UPCOMING HIGHLIGHT Extreme Dirty Weekend

To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk 36 latest 7

The Extreme Dirty Weekend returns to Brighton seafront this May bank holiday weekend (26–27 May). The popular event has doubled in size, promising to be the biggest action sports and music festival to hit the south coast.

The largest portable ramp in Europe makes an appearance by the sea, heavily sessioned by the best skateboarders and BMXers in the UK. Riders include Andy Scott, Pete King, Sam Beckett, Paul-luc Ronchetti and Sean Goff, with more to be confirmed.

New for this year are a street course, UK Independent Vert Series competitions and new exhibitors. Footage from the event will screen on the Extreme Sports Channel (core media partner of the event), reaching 55 million people.

Underground DJs and artists will provide off-ramp entertainment and a special retail village will be selling quality goods at great prices.

Extreme Dirty Weekend, Sat 26 and Sunday 27 May, 11am–7pm, free, with an afterparty each night at venues TBC. Visit www.extremedirtyweekend.co.uk Zara Friend

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk NORTH LAINE PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY Upstairs, Snooper’s Paradise, Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 686506 Petrusco Finalist in the 2006 ‘Essence of Brighton & Hove’ competition has his first solo exhibition. Until 31 May, Mon–Sat 10.15am–5.45pm, Sun 10.15am–3.45pm

O CONTEMPORARY Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 698500 John Simpson Long awaited first show by this highly collectable artist, whose influences range from the urban to Goya and Redon. Until 17 June Mixed Show painting, photography and limited edition signed prints by artists such as Brian Jones, Takashi Murakami, Bridget Riley and Marcos Torres. Until 17 June, Tue–Fri 10am–5.30pm, Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 12am–5pm

PHOENIX GALLERY Waterloo Place, Brighton 01273 603700 Double Acts A celebration and mini-survey of

collaborative practice in the UK today, featuring work and new commissions by Ayling and Conroy, Karin Kihlberg and Reuben Henry, The Library Of Unwritten Books and much more.

Until 9 June, Tue–Sat 11am–5pm

JENNIE RICKETTS GALLERY 8 Arundel Mews, Arundel Place, Brighton 01273 232921 Beatrice Haverich Photographs of trees from the book The Whisper Of A Million Leaves by Brighton-based Haverich, which highlights the resilience of trees despite some immense environmental challenges. Until 31 May, Tues–Fri 11am–6pm, Sat 12–6pm

WORTHING MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221448 Luke Dickinson Sensual stone carvings.

Until 23 Jun Tues-Sat, 10am-5pm Water, Water Everywhere 40 treasures from the museum’s stores, exploring watery themes.

Until 16 Jun, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm

Art rock The BRAG (British Rock Artists Group) collective met after attending Arts Production South East master-classes, given by the great US screen printers Chuck Sperry and Mike King as part of the Subscreen Sonic exhibition in May 2006. The group’s aim is to re-ignite the enthusiasm for limited edition posters that existed in the 60s and 70s, by producing beautiful screen printed collectable gig posters.This exhibition celebrates work from some of the new stars of the burgeoning underground UK poster scene. At this BRAG exhibition (appropriately situated in the rock’n’roll Hotel Pelirocco), 20 printers and designers will be exhibiting their work, including recent work for bands such as 80s Matchbox B-Line Disaster, Bonnie Prince Billy, Gloria Cycles, Gallows, Little Barrie, Josiah and The Ripps. Limited edition and rare posters will be on sale at the show BRAG: An Exhibition of Screen Printed Gig Posters by the British Rock Artists Group, 5–27 May, Hotel Pelirocco, Brighton

ART LISTINGS UNIT 03 GALLERY

CRANE KALMAN, BRIGHTON

20 Wellington Road, Portslade 01273 417741 Barry Surtees New art gallery with opening exhibition featuring Barry Surtees’ vibrant and abstract 3D canvases, plus there is work by Patsy Palmer, Chris Ellison and Phil Tufnell.

Open every weekend, 11am–6pm, until 27 May

Kensington Gardens, Brighton 01273 697096 Mary McCartney A photographic study of the Royal ballet, after hours! Until 17 June, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10.30am–4.30pm

BRIGHTON FISHING MUSEUM 201 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 723064 More Plastic Than Plankton Lou McCurdy’s installation is created from plastic found on one Brighton beach in one year. Supported by Surfers Against Sewage and Marine Conservation Society. Until 22 May, Mon–Sun 10am–5pm

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Street, Brighton 01273 290200 Rogues Gallery: Images of Crime and Punishment Display of popular prints featuring notorious crimes and punishments, mainly from the 18th and 19th centuries, including enemies of the state, and real-life murderers. Until 30 September.

Nicholas Sinclair – Six Public Telephones Six dramatic photographs taken in a subway station in Budapest by local photographer. Until 5 Aug, Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm Stagestruck! 200 years of the Theatre Royal by way of vintage prints and photographs, costumes and props, and reconstructions of ‘special efects’ of the 19th century stage. Until 2 September.

CHALK GALLERY North Street, Lewes 01273 474477 21 professional artists from across all media.

Featuring Edith Barton – humourous and textural 3D artist. Mon–Sun 10am–5pm

Petrusco @ North Laine Photography Gallery

PRACTICAL ALCHEMY

GREY AREA Lower Ground Floor, 31 Queens Road, Brighton Bob & Roberta Smith On 5 May the artist reenacted JMW Turner’s heroism by tying himself to the mast of his Floating Studio, from where he performed readings of the stories painted on the studio. The floating Studio was then transported to the gallery and is being exhibited with a film of the performance. Until 27 May, Wed–Sun, 1–5pm

INK_D 96 North Road, Brighton 01273 645299 Trafford Parsons New gallery and screenprinting studio with debut exhibition (‘Tentacles Of Terror’) by Trafford Parsons. His work features Godzilla and Star Wars characters set in improbable situations. It’s mad, irreverent, B-movie stuff. Until 19 May, Mon–Sat 11am–6pm

HOVE MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY New Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Paper Cuts Eight artists employ paper cutting techniques to reflect on our culture and environment. Paper cutting has been used by different cultures throughout history to mark events and religious occasions, and the delicate nature of paper relates to our vulnerability, dreams and ambitions. Until 1 July Susan Edwards Unwanted books that have been transformed into paper sculptures (see above). Until 1 July, Wed–Sat 11.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

A guide along the Spiritual Path Publishing House Serebrov Boeken, The Hague, presents a lecture on alchemical symbolism according to C.G. Jung, the famous Austrian psychiatrist, and the ways to build an inner alchemical laboratory according to K. Serebrov, a contemporary Russian mystic and writer.

The extensive studies of the famous psychiatrist C.G. Jung into the symbolism of dreams, myths and fairy-tales, have been extremely helpful in revealing the meaning of alchemical symbolism in the dynamics of our own psyche.

Konstantin Serebrov, a contemporary Hermetic scholar from Moscow, who studied alchemy, eastern and western spiritual teachings and meditation techniques, has taken the study one step further. According to his interpretation, the alchemical symbols do not simply denote psychological states and content, but they actually form a certain initiatory path. In his last book, All About Alchemy, Serebrov gives a concise description of the ‘initiatory gates’ which the follower of this path will come across. Like the traditional, alchemical treatises, they are beautifully illustrated with allegorical paintings by various artists.

25 May 2007: Michaelhouse, Trinity Street, St. Michael’s Church, Cambridge, 16.00-18.00 26 May 2007: The Friends Meeting House, 43 St Giles, Oxford, 16.00-18.00 Entrance fee: £ 5.00. Concessions: £ 3.00 Tel: +31 26 442 68 66 E-mail: b.schokking@planet.nl Website: www.artofalchemy.nl latest 7 37

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LISTINGS

YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings The hottest tickets for the week ahead 15–21 May ★COMEDY★

Dido and Aeneas The New London Consort reconstruct a 1700s production of Purcell's classic opera of love and tragedy. Staged in intimate Proms style and performed on period instruments to create a historical authenticity.

Brighton Dome, Wednesday 16 May, 8pm £7.50–£25

Le Cabaret des Chiche Capon

photograph: darkdaze.org, 2006

★THEATRE★

Brighton Hip Hop Festival Launch Party

Like The Muppets in real life, this anarchic cabaret show from Paris returns after its sell-out show in Brighton last year.

Komedia, Brighton, 17-19 May, 8.30pm, £12.50

★MUSIC★ Simple Kid

Beck-inspired Ciaran McFeely and his ramshackle sounds that fuse country and folk with glam rock and electronica.

Komedia, Brighton, Wednesday 16 May, 7.30pm, £7

★MUSIC★

Brighton Hip Hop Festival Launch Party Los Albertos

★MUSIC★

Los Albertos + The Happiness Blaring brass, high-energy ska, funk, and all-round party vibes from the brilliant Los Albertos. The Happiness are another superb live outfit with great tunes, witty lyrics and an engaging stage presence.

Part of The Great Escape. Lo Lounge Brighton, Friday 18 May, 9pm, £5

★MUSIC★

Brighton Beach Boys Actor Ralph Brown and his 15piece band of superb musicians and singers (including wind, brass and strings) do their inimitable tribute to both Pet Sounds and Sgt Pepper, which went down a storm at last year’s Fringe .

St Georges Church, Brighton, 18 and 19 May, 7.30pm, £15

The Brighton Hip Hop Festival is the UK’s largest celebration of hip hop culture. Now in its fourth year, the festival launch showcases live performances from all the best hip hoppers around. More information at www.bhhf.org Sallis Benney Theatre, Brighton, Saturday 19 May, 3pm–8pm, £3

★DANCE★

Michael Clark Scottish post-punk dancer and choreograher reprises his 1992 work Mmm as part of a trilogy of work based on seminal dance scores by Stravinsky. It combines an energetic prologue played out to an aggressive medley of Public Image Ltd and Wire followed by his acclaimed piece set to Stravinsky's Rite of Spring played out to a live performance of Stravinsky's arrangement for piano duet.

Brighton Dome, Saturday 19 May, 8pm, £6–£22.50

Vic Reeves

★LITERARY★ Vic Reeves

Funnyman of many talents reads from his recently-published memoir Me: Moir; a surreal and comic memoir of his north eastern childhood full of whimsical reminiscences and invention Theatre Royal, Brighton, Wednesday 16 May, 7.30pm

Brighton Beach Boys

For venue details see page 48 latest 7 39

040_LS321_reviews

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Need a music video making or a gig filmed?

Page 2

Under review Recent shows with a sprinkling of home-grown talent Thee Silver Mount Zion Orchestra

Call Artforms Productions Ltd - The production company behind all the filming for Latest 7, Latest Homes and Latest Records.

We’re always making professional looking DVDs/music videos/ promotional films at the most affordable prices.

Whether you’re rock, indie, hip-hop or folk, we will create the right video for you.

All budgets catered for – from glossy MTV-style videos to filming pub gigs for your myspace page.

Ring Stef now for a quote and examples of our work.

07712 588136 or artformstef@gmail.com

Mark Thomas Thomas starts by talking about a critic struggling to pigeonhole his act: “What is it you do now?

Reportage? Story-telling? Standup?” It is all these things. He tells stories about setting the world record for protests in one day and visiting arms fairs and what happens when you offer thousands of pounds for the assassination of President Bush.

Full of jokes, information and humanity, even the policemen and officials he tussles with are portrayed sympathetically. It is heart-warming political humour rather than hectoring. Best go see for yourself.

Concorde 2, 2 May ✌✌✌✌ James Holland Mark Thomas

Thee Silver Mount Zion Orchestra Like a sermon from the top of Mount Zion belly-echoed out by a Canadian John Lydon, lead singer Efrim Menuck pumped the gig into life, accompanied by a warm rhythmic drumbeat conveying both threat and promise through its offkilter arrangement. Beautifully orchestrated cello and violin, played against sonorous bass, held up rebellious post punk rock lyrics belted out against the sombre crowd. But the overdone political tub-thumping eventually drained the gig to a sour sediment. SMZ control a unique niche, but it’s one that would be all the more powerful without their new-found, overwrought earnestness.

Komedia, 26 April ✌✌✌✌ Colette Meacher

The Kooks Brighton’s biggest band are still riding high on the phenomenal success of their debut album.

Here, at this fan-only intimate gig, the band showcased some new material to go with their wellworn hits of last year. But while the oldies get the mobiles held aloft and the crowd jumping in delirium, the newer tunes don't quite hit home, the audience

largely muted, seemingly trying to digest these unfamiliar songs.

There’s a new direction afoot too: rather predictably, the band are starting to strike up power chord poses whilst doing impressions of their late 60s/early 70s heroes The Stones, The Faces et al. It’s looking ominous...

Komedia, 24 April ✌✌✌ Julie Andrews

The Bobby McGees, Doon MacDonald And The Fair Few, Barrier Dutch, One Giant Eye Triptic events? Joe Mansfield and Jamie Boyd hosted their third consecutive evening of novelty live music entertainment. The show started with One Giant Eye, a jokey folk duo akin to Tenacious D, and continued with Barrier Dutch, a Snow Patrol-influenced acoustic eclectic quartet. The most uplifting and promising moment came with Doon MacDonald and the Fair Few, who delivered a sexy, soulful and dreamily melodic performance, with a Tori Amos-sounding vocal. The night was nicely wrapped-up by The Bobby McGees. Not a bad way to spend an evening.

Brighton Stripped @ Sussex Arts Club, 26 April ✌✌✌✌

Carrie Tree Like a weeping willow, singer songwriters are sprouting thick and fast, and there’s an intriguing strand of that which inhabits the newlyinvigorated world of bohemia, taking hold here in Brighton, and also the UK. The bare-footed, long haired and aptly-named Carrie Tree is one of those. A great voice, a nice big smile and a hippie vibe are some attributes, though some more vibrant songs and a broader musical palette will be necessary to take her beyond the herd.

The Globe, 29 April ✌✌✌

Mark David

Jeff Hemmings

The Kooks

Temple Heads If you love a feisty vibe then you missed a great night. Temple Heads were on first and their banging drums and hypnotic rhythms drew everybody away from the bar. The hypno-dance performance that followed put everyone in the mood for the fabulous Banco de Gaia and Systems Seven. Temple Heads is a Brighton-based band looking like it’s well on the way to success with their album launch. It’s always good to support local talent and Temple Heads is definitely worth a toke.

Concorde 2, 26 April ✌✌✌✌ Emma Burton

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tuesday 15 Caesar Twins, The Udderbelly, 9pm

Live music 3+1 Jazz. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Battle Of The Bands Four bands grace the stage for another heat of the competition. The final will take place later in the year.

Joogleberry, 8pm, free Ephel Duath + Negura Bunget + Bossk + Iceni Italian extreme music experimentalists Ephel Duath’s forthcoming album is about seeing the world through the eyes of a dog!

Negura Bunget are a Romanian black metal band. Engine Room, 7pm, £6 Epideme + Knots + Motorbikees + Henry Chinaski Noise-rock from Epideme. Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3.50 Fulborn Teversham & Leafcutter John Nu-jazz with experimental musicians including the ubiquitous Seb Roachford and members of Polar Bear, Acoustic Ladyland and Jade Fox. Komedia, 7.30pm, £10 Open Mic Brunswick, 8pm, free Rehash The Trash Band night courtesy of Holmbush Records. Sussex Arts Club, 8.30pm, £7/£5 The Silk String Quartet Chinese string ensemble based in Europe, consisting of four female classical virtuosi performing traditional and modern Chinese compositions. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Zombina & The Skeletones Flesh-eating pop, punk and rockabilly craziness. part of Boogaloo Stu’s Calvacade of Pop club night. Po Na Na, 9.30pm, £4/£3

Bars and clubs Arc Expelled. Multi-genre student mash-up.

10.30pm–3am, £2/£1 before 10.30pm Audio Snide. Indie rock tunes old and new at this super-cool night for those with very tight jeans. 10pm–2am, £2 Belushi’s Revision. Student night with drink promos. 9pm–3am, free with NUS card Caroline Of Brunswick Quiz. 8.30pm, £1 Casablanca Tequila Tuesday. Party tunes with DJ Scotty Le Funk and that oh-so-potent wormy beverage at just £1 a shot. Yikes.

10.30pm–3am, free Creation S.E.X. It stands for ‘students expect xtra’. Very clever wordplay there. It’s a big night of alcohol-fuelled dancefloor mayhem in exile from the Event 2 which is currently being renovated. 10pm–2am, £3/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Kinky Robot. Various shades of house, electro, breaks and techno.

10.30pm–3am, £3/free before 11pm The Jazz Place Roots Garden. Reggae and roots sounds all night long. 10pm–2am, £3.50/£2/2.50 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Ocean Rooms Sunset Sessions. Funky house behaviour with drinks promos and other wacky stuff. £3/£2/free before 11pm Po Na Na Cavalcade Of Pop. With the everpopular Boogaloo Stu. Bunny Rabbit play live (See Live music). 9.30pm–3.30am, £4 Suga Qube Industry. A weekly blow-out for the hard-working bar workers and door staff of our beloved city. The slack ones can go too.

9pm–2am, free Volks The Speakeasy. Gangster-styled fun but without the killing and stuff. Includes live music from Will Harmonica Wild And The Neptunes Blues Band and more. 8pm–12am, £6 The Zap Smash Hits. DJs Sean Quinn and Mr P throw out some top pop classics to a crowd of tune–hungry drunkards. Great fun. 10pm–3am £3/£2/free before 11pm

Gay Bulldog Kruz. Strictly men only night, with DJ Justin K playing the latest dance music.

11pm–2am, free Legends Dance Toxic. Selected drinks £2 each.

11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Nat’s Quiz Night. 9pm Marlborough Ladies’ Night. Open till 12am Queen’s Arms The Crooners Lounge. Piano bar with complimentary sandwiches. 2.30–11.30pm, free R–Bar Student night. Cabaret with Lady James at 9.30pm. Discounted tickets for Revenge.

9pm–2am, free Revenge Student night. Drinks from £1.50.

10.30pm–3am, NUS free all night/others free before 11 then £3 Vavoom Your choice videos. Open till 4am V2 club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late, free The Zone Piano bar. 1pm–12am, free

Theatre Brecht On Magic A blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary.

Komedia, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 C–90 Daniel Kitson presents a tale of quiet lives and small kindnesses. Listening to discarded compilation tapes, Henry discovers unheard stories about himself and others. The Basement, 8pm, £15 Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their gravity-defying show to Brighton. The Udderbelly, 9pm, £16/£14 Fierce By Fireraisers. Please call for more info.

Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Googled Out A cyberspace-based offbeat

tragic-comedy. Friends’ Meeting House, 9pm, £7/£6 Import/Export – Les Ballet C. De La B. A stunning performance combining dance, acrobatics, live music and song. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £15–£22.50 The King And I Presented by Sussex Musical Productions. The classic musical about English widow Anna and her life at the Royal Palace, Bangkok. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 7.30pm, £12/£10 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 The Maids Site-specific story telling Jean Genet’s tales as translated by Neil Bartlett. Old Ship Hotel, 9.15pm, £15 Menno in “Butch – A Queen's Struggle To Become A King” Part love story, part musical, Menno is tired of being the token gay guy and decides to ‘butch up’. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £8/£6 New World Order World premiere, sitespecific performance of Harold Pinter’s play.

Suits ages 12+. Brighton Town Hall, 7pm, £12.50 Raised In Brighton Second year acting students from Varndean College present theatre created in response to growing up in Brighton.

Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £5 Richard III Shakespeare’s tale about a country led by criminals. Leaders pose as religious men drawn reluctantly into war and innocents are killed by men in pursuit of power and wealth. New Venture Theatre, 7.30pm, please call for prices Sweet Panic By Stephen Poliakoff. A witty and disturbing play hitting Brighton after a run in Edinburgh. Brighthelm Centre, 7.30pm, £8/£6 Winter In Majorca Original musical drama about Chopin’s Majorcan adventure. St John The Baptist Church, 8–9.55pm, £9/£8

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Comedy Greedy & The Pros From Dover You wait for one and then two come along at once. A double bill of highly acclaimed comedy sketch shows.

Udderbelly, 7pm, £10/£8 Daniel Kitson Random comical unmissable thoughts from one of the brightest stars to hit the comedy circuit in some time. The Marlborough Theatre, 9.30pm, £6/£5 The Interlopers – Let Us Blow Your Lines Improv mayhem. No script, no props, no idea what’ll happen next. Age 18+. Cella @ Sanctuary Cafe, 6pm, £5/£4 After School Club – Modernising Medical Comedy Songs and sketches to tickle your funny bone, written and performed by junior doctors. BHASVAC, 8pm, £5/£3.50

Events An Evening With Nightingales Hear nightingales out on the reserve and see how these wonderful birds have inspired musicians and poets through time. Woods Mill Nature Reserve. 7.30pm, £8/£6 Brighton Victorian Sewers Tour Southern Water take you on a tour of Brighton with a difference: exploring the magnificent Victorian sewer systems. Meet under Brighton Pier, 6.30–7.30pm, £10/£7.50/£5 A City By The Sea? Join Austin Williams of Future Cities Project argues that risk-aversion strangles the urban development we desperately need. Brighthelm Centre, 7–8.30pm, £4 Poets Cornered New Moon Rising Local poets, artists and musicians share their tales.

All welcome. Portland Hotel and Rock Bar, 7.30–10.30pm, £5/£3 Visions Of Our Future Mika Peck, Research Fellow in Biology and Environmental Science looks at the risks faced by brown-headed spider monkeys in South America. 6–7.30pm, £3

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Live music Beats & Pieces + The Squadron Leaders + Extravagatron Local indie bands. Pav Tav, 8pm, free Cuatro Monos A sonic journey through 1950s Cuba with further influences from Puerto Rico, Jamaica and Colombia. Joogleberry, 7.30pm, £5/£4 Flipron Exotic pop tunes, and a warm and friendly wit on stage from this superb band who are a regular feature at festivals. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm, £7.50 Geisha + Girls From Egypt + Tankus The Henge + Pitch Invasion White noise rock night.

Pressure Point, 8pm, £4/£3 Heavy Load The UK’s leading disabled punks plus special guests and MC Mat Fraser. In association with Carousel. Komedia, 7.30pm, £5/carers free The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Music For Voice and Clarinet Classical, popular and jazz music including a performance of Schubert’s The Shepherd On The Rock.

BHASVIC, 7.30pm, £3/£1.50 Navarra String Quartet Young chamber group who won the 2005 Florence International Chamber Music Competition, playing Mendelssohn, Haydn and Skempton. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Open mic London Unity, 9pm, free Peter Lorenz & Friends Accomplished Latin jazz guitarist. Brunswick, 8pm, £3 Simple Kid Beck-inspired Ciaran McFeely and his ramshackle sounds that fuse country and folk with glam rock and electronica. Komedia, 7.30pm, £7 Wednesday Night Originals Weekly showcase of local bands. Portland, 7.30pm, £3

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Arc Don’t Tell Ya Mum And Dad. Intelligent dance tunes with bits of electro, space crunk and indie in the mix. 10pm–late, £3/£2 Audio Supercharged. Top breaks and beats action from the one and only Krafty Kuts.

10.30pm–2.30am, £5/£3 The Beach Born In The 80s. The decade we all love to hate. Or is it hate to love? Either way, you’ll hear probably hear some Wham.

10pm–late, £3/80p Brighton Gloucester The Pit. Gnarly rock and metal for those who like their dancefloor aggressive and sweaty. 10pm–2am, £3/£2 Casablanca Fun Ki Disco. Two floors of upbeat funkery. Upstairs is a Spanish theme – buy Sangria and get free tapas. 9.30pm–2am, £2/£1/free before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Sabotage. Indie rock stylings for lovers of all things guitar-based.

10.30pm–3am, £2 Honeyclub No Nonsense. Eclectic mix for

students and the official night of the University of Sussex SU Sports Federation. £5/£2.50, 10pm–3am The Juggler Quiz. General and themed rounds.

Prizes available. 8.30pm KooKlub Current and classic indie at this new night. 10pm–3am, £3 Pressure Point Not In My Name. In association with Stand-Darfur, featuring ‘Music Without Borders’. 11pm–late, £3 Suga Qube Funk N Stuff. Raregroove, funk, disco and house from DJ Dave Morpeth. Free Volks Aba Shanti. Heavyweight dub soundsystem action with MC Tippa and Miss Polly on warm-up duties 10pm–3am, £6/£5

Gay Bulldog BBB. It stands for Bulldog Brighton Bears. 11pm–2am, free Caledonian 2 Dave Lynn – cabaret. 9.30pm Marlborough Quiz. Prizes for winners. 8pm The PV Quiz. 8pm Queen’s Arms Midweek Cabaret Party. With Susan Black’s Queenie Show and DJ Andy B. 9.00pm R-Bar Go Double Baby. From 9pm, any double is just £1 extra. Open till 2am Revenge Strut your stuff at 1970s heaven.

Selected drinks just £1.50. 10.30pm–3am, free entry if dressed to theme or £3/£2 before 11pm Vavoom Your choice videos. Happy hour till 6pm. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late

Theatre Brecht On Magic A blend of stand-up comedy, magic, ventriloquism and political commentary.

Komedia, Brighton, 6.45pm, £5/£3.50 C–90 Daniel Kitson presents a tale of quiet lives and small kindnesses. Listening to discarded compilation tapes, Henry discovers unheard stories about himself and others. The Basement, 8pm, £15 Dido and Aeneas The New London Consort present Purcell’s classic opera of love and tradegy. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £7.50–£25 Fierce By Fireraisers. Please call for more info.

Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Googled Out A cyberspace-based offbeat tragiccomedy. Friends’ Meeting House, 9pm, £7/£6 The King And I Presented by Sussex Musical Productions. The classic musical about English widow Anna and her life at the Royal Palace, Bangkok. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £12/£10 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 The Maids Site-specific story telling Jean

Genet’s tales as translated by Neil Bartlett.

Old Ship Hotel, 9.15pm, £15 Me: Moir Join Vic Reeves, actor, writer and comic for an evening of reminiscences on life under his real name: Jim Moir. Theatre Royal, 7.30pm, £10 Menno in “BUTCH – A Queen’s Struggle To Become A King” Part love story, part musical, Menno is tired of being the token gay guy and decides to ‘butch up’. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £8/£6 New World Order World premiere, site-specific performance of Harold Pinter’s play. Suits ages 12+. Brighton Town Hall, 7pm and 9.30pm, £12.50 Pentopera Bizarre operatic delights with Tekton Theatre – seagulls and skyscrapers, treacle and petrol... it only gets more weird! Friends’ Meeting House, 7.30pm, £7/£6 Polly Deluxe: It’s All About Me Polly’s story, told by Polly, all about Polly – from Eurovision to Reality TV. Grand Parade Foyer, University Of Sussex, 7pm, £5 Raised In Brighton Second year acting students from Varndean College present theatre created in response to growing up in Brighton.

Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £5 Richard III Shakespeare’s tale about a country led by criminals. Leaders pose as religious men drawn reluctantly into war and innocents are killed by men in pursuit of power and wealth. New Venture Theatre, 7.30pm, please call for prices Sweet Panic By Stephen Poliakoff. A witty and disturbing play hitting Brighton after a run in Edinburgh. Brighthelm Centre, 7.30pm, £8/£6 Winter In Majorca Original musical drama about Chopin’s Majorcan adventure. St John The Baptist Church, 8pm–9.55pm, £9/£8

Comedy Terry Saunders – Missed Connections Combining stand-up comedy with sit down storytelling. Marlborough Theatre, 10.30pm, £6/£5 Late Night Raw Raw’s usual mix of comedy, music and spoken word taking you later into the night. Joogleberry, 11pm, £3, free to Fringe performers The Interlopers – Let Us Blow Your Lines Improv mayhem. No script, no props, no idea what’ll happen next. Adults only.Cella @ Sanctuary Cafe, 6pm, £5/£4

Events Don’t Get Mad, Get Wise Join author Mike George as he passes on words of wisdom: how no one ever makes us angry, and peace is the most practical state we can ever know. Ages 18+. Old Ship Hotel, 2–5pm, free Henna Body Art Workshop Talk and demonstration, then it’s over to you to design and apply your henna. Ages 15+. 99 Mill Rise, Westdene, 10am–1pm, £30/£25 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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thursday 17 Live music African Thumbharp Adventures Traditional songs performed on the ilimba – a thumb piano –

by Kate Murdoch, a student of the Zawose family in Tanzania. Plus guest artists. 10 Park Street, 7.30pm, £6/£4, call 01273 709709 for tickets Are You Taking The Mic? Original performers only, no covers for this open mic night. Register by emailing andersdmoney@yahoo.co.uk Providence, 8pm, free Architects + The Ghost Of A Thousand Engine Room, 7pm, £6 Auro Quartet Brazilian music. Cosmopolitan Hotel Bar, 9pm, £3 The Big Hairy Band + Gypsy Squat Pop Project + Nik Barrell & The Gin Club + Megan Goodwin A night of acoustic pop featuring Big Hairies, led by Dave Stenhouse and featuring members of The Hat and Mountain Firework Company. Plus, gypsy blues and eclectic folk from Cordelia Fellowes and her Gypsy Squat Pop Project, Nik Barrell’s melancholy bluesy folk-pop and Megan Goodwin’s jazzy pop songs. Sussex Arts Club, 8pm, £4/£3 Cella Sessions Open mic for original music only. Sign up by 8pm. Cella, 8pm, free The Grams + Third Time Lucky + Lazy Baby Pav Tav, 8pm, free Leroy Horns Quartet Traditional jazz standards. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Misja Fitzgerald-Michel Dutch-born French jazz guitarist inspired by the John Coltrane and Ornette Coleman’s school of modern jazz.

Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Mr Eugene Poet and troubadour who will also be performing with Nickova in a unique ‘interactivation’ between his violin playing and her expressive painting. Caroline of Brunswick, 8pm, £6/£5 Polina & Merlin Shepherd with Saidi Kanda A World Sacred Music festival ‘taster’ with African and Jewish sacred music. Unitarian Church, 7.30pm, £8/£6 Rory McLeod Popular singer, storyteller, harmonica virtuoso, spoon player etc. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, £5 Songs My Grandfathers Taught Me Songs and stories as viewed through two professional entertainers of the Victorian and Edwardian eras. Also Sat 19. St Andrew’s Church, 6.30pm, £6.50/£5 Yourgardenday + Gingowie + King Of The Pavement Three superb singer-songwriters Joogleberry, 8pm, £7/£6

Bars and clubs Audio Dynamite Boogaloo. Legendary pop/kitsch blow-out, popular with students.

10pm–2am, £4/£3 Bar Bamboogy Live DJs. 8pm–2am, free The Beach Big Toons. House, dance and R’n‘B classics with The Brighton Allstars. 10.30pm–3am, £4/free before 11pm Brighton Gloucester Mad For It. Indie anthems, record release celebrations and more boozey behaviour from the hard working Lout Promotions team. 10pm–2am £3/£1.50 Casablanca Sambanation. Sunny Brazilian flavours. 9.30pm–2am, £2/£1 Cosmopolitan Bar Spinner Stays On. If the DJ’s good enough to stay on, let them know!

If not, vote them off. Don’t throw cabbages, hot Bovril or gravel though, you might damage the decks. 7.30pm, free Creation Floorfillers. Pop encounters of the very biggest and boldest kind. 10pm–2am, £2/90p Funky Buddha Lounge Warm Your Soul.

Classic soul and funk for a slinky night out.

10pm–3am, £2/free Heist Mr Bongo Recordings. Afro jazz and soul.

9pm–late, free Honeyclub Contagious. Classic house.

10pm–late, £4/£2 Komedia (upstairs) Club NME. Indietastic tunes from the people behind the weekly inky, plus live bands. 11pm–3am, £tbc check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

Pav Tav The Resurrection. Indie for the masses in this popular, centrally-located sweatbox.

10pm–2am, £3/£1.50 Suga Qube Weekend warm-up with a mix of soulful and slamming beats from Lee Garrett and friends. 9pm–2am, free Sussex Arts Club Dream Sequence No 4.

Electro meets art. 7.30pm–2am, £5/£4 Volks Playgroup. Electronica and live gypsy beats.10pm–3am, £5/£4 The Zap Chopper Choons. Kitsch and cool 70s grooves, hip hop and proper R’n’B tunes for discerning dancers and sweaty students.

10pm–3am, £4/free for NUS

Gay Bulldog Cabaret Night. Hosted by Joe MC Joe. 11pm–2am, free Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Super-cheap drinks at this popular night. 8–11pm, £1 Charles Street Club Religion. House night hosted by Joan Bond with DJs Richard Jones and Tony B on the decks. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4 flyer/£3 NUS. HQ Quiz and gameshow with Lady James.

8pm–2am, free Legends Dance Squeeze. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Man Trap. 12pm–12am Marlborough Free pool 6pm onwards, then Killer Pool. 8pm The PV Cocktails v Clittails. 6pm–9pm Queen’s Arms Shag Tag! Plus karaoke with Betty. 9pm R-Bar Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and John Bruzon. 9.30pm Revenge Manzone. Back by popular demand!

Strictly men only. Stripper from midnight.

10.30pm–3am, £2 Star Inn Big Dave’s Quiz. Open till midnight Vavoom Thirsty Thursday. Music videos all night long. Open till 4am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. Open 10pm–late

Theatre C–90 Daniel Kitson presents a tale of quiet lives and small kindnesses. Listening to discarded compilation tapes, Henry discovers unheard stories about himself and others. The Basement, 8pm, £15 Caviar And Chips The story of three unlikely friends who run away. Original comic routines, tequila nights and more. Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £8/£6 Googled Out A cyberspace-based offbeat tragic-comedy. Friends’ Meeting House, 9pm, £7/£6 Gospel of Matthew By Candlelight George Dillon’s spellbinding performance. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 ‘I’m Your Late Night Evening’ – Slowly I Turn Theatre/cabaret with two female performers, based on the popular Vaudeville skit. Komedia, 6.30pm, £5/£3 The King And I Presented by Sussex Musical Productions. The classic musical about English widow Anna and her life at the Royal Palace, Bangkok. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 7.30pm, £12/£10 King Arthur Henry Purcell’s opera transporting us to the trenches of World War I with an enchanting score mirroring the fantastical vision of the Western Front. Theatre Royal, 7.30pm, £5–£22.50 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 The Maids Site-specific story telling Jean Genet’s tales as translated by Neil Bartlett. Old Ship Hotel, 9.15pm, £15 Menno in “Butch – A Queen’s Struggle To Become A King” Part love story, part musical, Menno is tired of being the token gay guy and decides to ‘butch up’. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £8/£6 New World Order World premiere, site-specific

performance of Harold Pinter’s play. Suits ages 12+. Brighton Town Hall, 7pm, £12.50 Pentopera Bizarre operatic delights with Tekton Theatre – seagulls and skyscrapers, treacle and petrol... it only gets more weird! Friends’ Meeting House, 7.30pm, £7/£6 Polly Deluxe: It’s All About Me Polly’s story, told by Polly, all about Polly – from Eurovision to Reality TV. Grand Parade Foyer, University Of Sussex, 7pm, £5 Richard III Shakespeare’s tale about a country led by criminals. Leaders pose as religious men drawn reluctantly into war and innocents are killed by men in pursuit of power and wealth. New Venture Theatre, 7.30pm, please call for prices Sweet Panic By Stephen Poliakoff. A witty and disturbing play hitting Brighton after a run in Edinburgh. Brighthelm Centre, 7.30pm, £8/£6 Yippeee!!! The Cholmondeleys and The Featherstonehaughs in a highly theatrical spectacle that’s not for the fainthearted! Suits ages 14+. The Hawth, please call for show times prices Winter In Majorca Original musical drama about Chopin’s Majorcan adventure. St John The Baptist Church, 8pm–9.55pm, £9/£8

Comedy Rosie Wilby – Olympic Swingball Champion 2012 Funny Women 2006 finalist, Rosie mixes 80s nostalgia with anecdotes about being single, gay and loving swingball.

Marlborough Theatre, 10pm, £6/£5 After School Club – Modernising Medical Comedy Songs and sketches to tickle your funny bone, written and performed by junior doctors. BHASVAC, 8pm, £5/£3.50 Le Cabaret Des Chiche Capon Like The Muppets in real life, this anarchic cabaret show from Paris returns after its sell-out show in Brighton last year. Komedia, 8.30pm, £12.50 The Power Of 3 Three gents, three ideas from an audience and three unique situations – put them together and you’ll get funny. Pokeno Pies, 9pm, £3/£2

Events Art and Craft Classes For children aged 18 months to five years old. A fun weekly arts and craft class, letting youngsters explore their creativity. Malling Community Centre, Lewes.

For more info or to book, call 01273 488616.

Brighton Victorian Sewers Tour Southern Water take you on a tour of Brighton with a difference: exploring the magnificent Victorian sewer systems. Meet under Brighton Pier, 6.30–7.30pm, £10/£7.50/£5 Global Development – Small World, Same Difference? A look at sexual discriminations, sexuality matters, sexual violence and HIV/AIDS worldwide. Jubilee Library, 6.30–8pm, £3

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Alex Gigante + Miss Al Brown + The Joel White Band Local bands. Providence, 8pm, £1 Blues Deluxe Upbeat blues and R’n’B. Neptune, 8.30pm, free Brighton Beach Boys Actor Ralph Brown and his 15-piece band do their inimitable tribute to both Pet Sounds and Sgt Pepper. Also Sat 19.

St. George’s Church, 7.30pm, £15 Café Noir Cabaret night featuring Mandy & The Magdalenas Brunswick, 8pm, £8/£6 The David Ingledew Band + The People of Brighton + Camine A night of Beatles songs from this jazz sextet. The People of Brighton is a film project, captured on the streets of Brighton.

Friends Meeting House, 7.30pm, £10/£8 Iain Ballamy’s Anorak A Brighton Jazz Club event. Sussex Arts Club, 7.30pm, £14/£12 Lewes Folk Rock Festival Annual two-day event of contemporary folk-rock. Also Sat 19.

All Saints Centre, Lewes, 7pm, £12 Los Albertos + The Happiness + Malarki High-energy ska and funk from Los Albertos. The Happiness have great tunes, witty lyrics and an engaging stage presence. Lo Lounge, 9pm, £5 Martin Helmchen Young pianist who recently debuted with the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Red Stripe Band Seven-piece Jools Hollandstyle band led by eccentric raconteur Red Stripe on piano. Joogleberry, 8pm, £10/£8 Reuben + The Future + Enjoy Destroy + Redlight Company Superb riffy pop rock outfit.

Engine Room, 7pm, £6 Songs My Grandfathers Taught Me See 17 May. St Andrew’s Church, 6.30pm, £6.50–£5 Summer Sing A sing-a-long at the Seaford Folk Club. The Beachcomber, Seaford, 8.15pm, £tbc The Special Relationship + Mewgatz + Seagull Strange + The Tumbledown Estate Showcase from Brighton indie label OIB Records. Prince Albert, 1.30pm, free

Bars and clubs Arc Candy. Hip hop, soul and ragga featuring resident DJs Da Playaz and guests.

10.30pm–4am, £8/£5 before 12am Ali Cats Flow. Electro, breaks and booty bass in this subterranean hangout. 8pm–12am, free Aqua Bar 70s, 80s and 90s night. 9pm–2am, free Audio JFB. Top turntablism from the Brighton legend. 11pm–4am, £tbc The Beach Great Escape. The Beach is taken over by the Brighton indiefest, see www.escapegreat.com for details. Time and price tbc Belushi’s Madness. Sexy chart cheese and club classics. £2 selected drinks until midnight.

10pm–3am, free Brighton Gloucester Kick Out the Jams. Buttkicking indie. 10.30–2am, £4/£3 Casablanca Mirror Ball. Funky disco, as you would expect. 10.30pm–3am, £6/£5/£4 Core Club Mo Money. Hip hop with Bill Blast.

10pm–4am, £8/£5 Cosmopolitan All Time Top 100. One of Brighton’s most diverse music-focused nights out. 8pm–2am, free Creation Popdaparty. Three rooms of commercial tunery to cop off to. 9pm–3am, £5/free before 11pm Engine Rooms Lowlife. Rock and indie mix in this loveably scuzzy club. 10.30pm–4am, £5

Enigma Resistance. Goth and industrial.

11–3am, £5/4 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk It’s Friday.

Funk and soul with DJs Sean Quinn and Stuart Ross. 10pm–3am, £8/£6 before 11pm Funky Buddha Lounge Unkool. Late electro and robot funk from Senor Mick. 3–8am, £8/£5 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 before 11 Honeyclub Honey Third Birthday. Look good and have fun with guest Mickey Slim.

10pm–3am, £8/£5 Jazz Place Basement Soul. Sexy sounds for a smooth night out. 10.30pm–3am, £5/£4 Kabuki Kabuki Fridays. Mike Panteli plays urban soul and house. 11pm–late, £7/£6 Komedia (downstairs) Born Bad. Rockabilly, trash and rock ’n’ roll exotica. 11pm–3am, £6/£5 Komedia (upstairs) Club NME. Indietastic tunes from the people behind the weekly inky, plus live bands. 11pm–3am, £tbc KooKlub Something Of Nothing. Fun club night with R’n‘B and house music. 10pm–3am, £4/£3 Pav Tav Rip It Up. Indie anthems to kick-start a weekend of excess. 10pm–2am, £4/£3 Po Na Na Somewhere In The Universe There Must Be Something Better Than Man. Electro, pop and indie floor-fillers. 10pm–3am, £5/£3 Suga Qube Electronica of all kinds from the Suga Qube Allstars team. 9pm–late, free Sussex Arts Club DJ Manello. Funk and soul.

10.30pm–2am, £5/£4 Volks Dubpressure. dubstep, grime, dancehall and more low frequencies.10pm–4am, £tbc The Zap Gogo Gazpacho. Brighton favourite Alex T returns with this infamous night.

11pm–4am, £10

Gay Bulldog Dance and pop with DJs Marcia and Chris Reardon, plus karaoke upstairs. Open 63 hours through weekend Candy Bar Pop Rock Vs Booty Call. 9pm–morning.

Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Cheesy, camp tracks with DJs Ruby Roo and Connie Conway.

10.30pm–late Charles Street Club Revo. New funky electro club night with DJ Tom Logan. 10.30pm–3am, £5 HQ Shaft. Strictly men only. 10pm–4am, free before £5/£3 Legends Bar Pre-Yo-Yo. 11am–5am Legends Dance Yo-Yo. Commercial dance with DJ Alex Baker. 11pm–4am, £5/free before 12 Marlborough Live DJ from 9pm. Open till 2am The PV Easy, cheesy Friday. 12pm–1am Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack.Open till 1am R–Bar Official Lollipop warm-up party.

Open till 2am Revenge Lollipop Vs Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dulcie Danger upstairs, the Lollipop Girls downstairs. 10.30pm–5am, £7/£5 before 11 Rehab NRG. Funky house night. 9pm–3.30am, £7 or £5 before 12am Vavoom Bar Boyz. Promos and dance music videos all night Open till 6am V2 Club Music videos upstairs and karaoke downstairs until 12am. 10pm–late, members free The Zone Cabaret with Cookie. Open till 12am, free

Theatre C–90 Daniel Kitson presents a tale of quiet lives and small kindnesses. Listening to discarded compilation tapes, Henry discovers unheard stories. The Basement, 8pm, £15 Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their gravity-defying show to Brighton. 9pm, £16/£14 Carol Cleveland – War Baby Music, song and slides in a dramatised reading of Carol’s ‘baby diary’. Belgrave Hotel, 6.30pm, £7 Caviar And Chips The story of three unlikely friends who run away. Original comic routines and more. Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £8/£6 The Confessions Of Punch & Judy by NACL. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50

Googled Out Cyberspace-based offbeat tragiccomedy. Friends’ Meeting House, 9pm, £7/£6 The King And I Presented by Sussex Musical Productions. The classic musical about English widow Anna and her life at the Royal Palace, Bangkok. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 7.30pm, £12/£10 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 Look Now Site-specific performance where shafts of light reveal dusty corners, a soundless space awaits visitors and staircases lead to shadowed landings. The Regency Town House, 7pm and 9pm, £8/£6.50 The Magic Flute A reinvention of Mozart’s classic tale of heroes, damsels in distress and magical spells. Theatre Royal, 7.30pm, £15–£26 The Maids Site-specific story telling Jean Genet’s tales as translated by Neil Bartlett. Old Ship Hotel, 9.15pm, £15 Mein Gutt One-man show about obesity written and performed by Doug Devaney. Part stand-up, part gothic drama, part lecture. Cella @ Sanctuary Café, 9.15pm, £6/£5 New World Order World premiere, sitespecific performance of Harold Pinter’s play.

Suits ages 12+. Brighton Town Hall, 7pm and 9.30pm, £12.50 Pentopera Bizarre operatic delights with Tekton Theatre – very weird! Friends’ Meeting House, 7.30pm, £7/£6 Polly Deluxe: It’s All About Me Polly’s story, told by Polly, all about Polly – from Eurovision to Reality TV. Grand Parade Foyer, University Of Sussex, 7pm, £5 Richard III Shakespeare’s tale of a country led by criminals. New Venture Theatre, 7.30pm, please call for prices Sweet Panic By Stephen Poliakoff. A witty and disturbing play hitting Brighton after a run in Edinburgh. Brighthelm Centre, 7.30pm, £8/£6 These Four Walls The tale of Lena, a young cellist in 1930s Berlin, who hid her Jewish family. Marlborough Theatre, 8pm, £7/£5 Winter In Majorca Original musical drama about Chopin’s Majorcan adventure. St John The Baptist Church, 8pm–9.55pm, £9/£8

Comedy Topping And Butch – Pigs Will Fly Awardwinning comedy duo trash the latest topical stories.Udderbelly, 7pm, £12/£10 Rosie Wilby – Olympic Swingball Champion 2012 Funny Women 2006 finalist, Rosie mixes 80s nostalgia with anecdotes.

Marlborough Theatre, 10pm, £6/£5 Le Cabaret Des Chiche Capon Anarchic cabaret from Paris returns after a sell-out show in Brighton last year. Komedia, 8.30pm, £12.50 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Dave Fulton, Gordon Southern, Phil Butler and excellent local MC Stephen Grant. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12/£10 Doug Devaney – Mein Gutt A rotund man remembers how it all happened. The Cella @ Sanctuary Café, 9.15pm, £6/£5

Events Exploring Kemp Town Village Discover an area full of character and historic interest. Meet St George’s Church, 2.30–4pm, £5 Famous Brighton Back Passages Explore rarely visited hidden byways. Meet at Brighton Town Hall, 2.30–4.20pm, £5.50 Garden Tour at Arundel Castle For experienced and amateur gardeners. Explore the historic gardens in the castle. Arundel Castle, £12/£9.50/£7.50 or £32 family ticket (incl Castle fees). For times please call 01903 882173 Lewes Horror Walk Hear accounts of public executions, plagues and disasters. Meet Castle Entrance, Lewes, 8–9.30pm, £5.50 Most Haunted Old Town Explore Brighton’s oldest streets, with stories of spooky activities.

Meet Brighton Town Hall, 8–9.30pm, £5.50 check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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saturday 19 Live music Adam Bushell & Tom Norrell New music from two percussionists, playing everything from vibraphone to shaky egg. Friends Meeting House, 5.30pm, £6/£4 Brighton Beach Boys See Fri 18. St. George’s Church, 7.30pm, £15 Brighton City Singers Popular community choir singing contemporary choral music. Tower Theatre, 7.30pm, £8/£6 Daniel Benisty Rich vocal timbre and acoustic guitar combine for a mix of originals and covers.

Ohso Social, 5pm, free Dates + The Passion + The Brown Stripes A feast of Hanover music with the superb Dates, led by Bob Grover of punk band The Piranhas. Hanover Community Centre, 8pm, £6 Lewes Folk Rock Festival Annual two-day event of contemporary folk-rock. Also Fri 18. All Saints Centre, Lewes, 7pm, £12 The Little Man + Lokei Providence, 8pm, £1 The Magic Number Popular gypsy jazz and swing band. Joogleberry, 8pm, £7 Miss Conduct + Thiscity + Beat Union + Red Light Company Female-fronted Welsh rock from Miss Conduct. Engine Room, 7pm, £6 The Music Room featuring Aylson Green Quartet Soulful jazz singer with special guest Julian Nicholas on sax. Brunswick, 8pm, £7 Robert Mitchell & Omar Puente Pianist and composer Mitchell is a ‘graduate’ of Tomorrow’s Warriors and Gary Crosby’s Nu Troop, while Cuban violinist Puente learnt from Cuban masters such as Ruben Gonzales. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton, 1pm, £7.50 Rum Boogie Blues-rock funk. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free Songs My Grandfathers Taught Me See 17 May. St Andrew’s Church, 6.30pm, £6.50/£5

Bars and clubs Ali Cats Uni-Fi. Nu-skool and old skool breaks.

8pm–12am, free Arc Holdup! Brighton’s favourite indie night.10pm–4am, £5 Audio Stompa Phunk. The very best in underground house from Evil Nine and David Parr. 11pm–4am £8/£6 The Beach Fever. Disco and funk at this upbeat weekend session. 10.30pm–4am, £10/£8 Belushi’s Utopia. 80s classics and club anthems. 10pm–3am, free Casablanca Batcuda. Live Latino and classic tunes. 11pm–4am, £7/£6/£5 Core Club Mo Money. Hip hop with Bill Blast.

10pm–4am, £8/£5 Creation Anthems. Bangin’ weekly party.

9pm–late, £10/free before 10pm Engine Rooms Lowlife. Rock and indie mix in this loveably scuzzy club. 10.30pm–4am, £5 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Cool and funky classics with DJ Mike Panteli and friends.

10pm–3am, £10/£7 Funky Buddha Lounge La Manana. Hedonistic after-party for clubbers who don’t want to go home. 3am–8am, £10 Funky Fish Funk, soul and classic rock ‘n’ roll with a party vibe. 10pm–3am, £6/£5 before 11 The Forager Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now. Indie pop. 8pm–late, free Hectors House DISC Indie/electro with Tim Jenson and residents. 9pm–2am, free Honeyclub Seven Sins. Funky house with guest DJ Brandon Block. 10.30pm–5am, £12/£7 The Jazz Place Street Jazz. Jazz, funk, Afro and latin. 10.30pm–3am £6/£5 Kabuki Kabuki Saturdays. Dance music from across the spectrum. 11pm–late, £7/£6 KooKlub Sweet Boutique. Sugary fun with a house soundtrack. 10pm–4am, free Lo Lounge Soul, funk and disco anthems.

10pm–2am, £7/£5 Ocean Rooms Great Escape Party. With extra special guests from the festival to be confirmed.

10pm–3am, £5 The Penthouse L’Amour Electronique. Synth pop. 8pm–late, free

Po Na Na Good Turn. Modern soul, electro and pop. 10pm–3.30am, £10/£8 Suga Qube Electronica of all kinds from the SugaQube Allstars team. 9pm–late, free Sussex Arts Club Da Doo Ron Ron. 60s girl group extravaganza with girly sounds a-go-go!

10pm–2am, £5 Volks Black Box. Dirty bass and electro.

10pm–4am, £tbc The Zap Junkbox. Twisted electro for twisted people. 11pm–4am, £12/£10

Brighton Beach Boys, St. George’s Church, 7.30pm

Gay Babylon Lounge Women-only. 8pm–2am, £5 Brighton Gloucester Monkey. Wild Fruit’s big Saturday. 10pm–4am, NUS £5 all night, others £5 before 11pm/£7 before midnight/£9 after Bulldog Non-stop club mix with DJs V John and Justin K, plus karaoke upstairs. Open 63 hours through weekend Caledonian 2 Cookie – cabaret. 9.30pm Candy Bar FTPA. Homo-electric disco with DJs W*nker and A-dam. 10pm–5am, £5 Charles Street Club Nervous Twitch by Shibby Shabblers. Top indie night. 11pm–3am, £5 HQ Rose Garden on stage. 9pm–4am, free before 11pm/£5 after Legends Bar Pre-Ignition.11am–5am Legends Dance Ignition. Big tunes with DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, £5/free before 11pm Queens Arms Julie Glitter’s Karaoke Party. 9pm R-Bar Music on the big screens. Open 24 hours, free Revenge Queercarnage. DJs Dusty O and Nik C. Upstairs: DJ Richard Jones. All drinks £2 before 12. 10.30pm–6am, free before 11pm/£5 before 12am/£7 after 12am/£3 after 3am, NUS £3 Star Inn Proud To Bear night. 8pm–1am Vavoom Third Birthday Party. Open till 6am V2 Club Third Birthday Party continues.

Open 10pm–late, members free, others £2/free before 12

Theatre Bite-Size – Short and Sweet Best of this year’s Sydney/Melbourne International tenminute play festivals. Suit ages 14+.

Cella@Sanctuary Café, £6/£5, 12.30pm C–90 Daniel Kitson presents a tale of quiet lives and small kindnesses. Listening to discarded compilation tapes, Henry discovers stories about himself and others. The Basement, 8pm, £15 Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their gravity-defying show to Brighton. 1pm, £16/£14 Carol Cleveland – War Baby Music, song and slides in a dramatised reading of Carol’s ‘baby’s diary’. Belgrave Hotel, 6.30pm, £7 Caviar And Chips The story of three unlikely friends who run away. Original comic routines and more. Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £8/£6 The Confessions Of Punch & Judy by NACL. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 James Dean is Dead (Long Live James Dean) A look at the man behind the myth. Ages 18+. Cella@The Sanctuary Café, 3.15pm, £8/£6 The King And I Presented by Sussex Musical Productions. The classic musical about English widow Anna and her life at the Royal Palace, Bangkok. Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £12/£10 The Last Confession New thriller set in one of the most highly guarded institutions: The Vatican. Chichester Festival Theatre, please call for show times. £10–£32 Little Howard’s Kids’ Show Big (human!)

Howard is back with little Howard – a cartoon animation – in an all-new family comedy show.

The Hawth, please call for times and prices Look Now Site-specific performance where shafts of light reveal dusty corners, a soundless space awaits visitors and staircases lead to shadowed landings. The Regency Town House, 7pm and 9pm, £8/£6.50 The Magic Flute A reinvention of Mozart’s classic tale of heroes, damsels in distress and magical spells. Theatre Royal, 7.30pm, £15–£26 The Maids Site-specific story telling Jean

Genet’s tales as translated by Neil Bartlett.

Old Ship Hotel, 9.15pm, £15 Michael Clark Company Contemporary dance.

Brighton Dome, 8pm, £6–£22.50 New World Order World premiere, sitespecific performance of Harold Pinter’s play.

Suits ages 12+. Brighton Town Hall, 7pm and 9.30pm, £12.50 Pentopera Bizarre operatic delights with Tekton Theatre – very weird! Friends’ Meeting House, 7.30pm, £7/£6 Richard III Shakespeare’s tale of a country led by criminals. New Venture Theatre, 7.30pm, please call for prices Skin Tight Magical and brutal play about love and the human condition. Elizabeth is dying and she must make the most of her time with Tom. The Hawth, please call for times and prices Sweet Panic By Stephen Poliakoff. A witty and disturbing play hitting Brighton after a run in Edinburgh. Brighthelm Centre, 7.30pm, £8/£6 These Four Walls The tale of Lena, a young cellist in 1930s Berlin, who hid her Jewish family.

Marlborough Theatre, 2pm and 8pm, £7/£5 Whatever Happened To Lyn Roe? A look at the life and death of the Hollywood sex symbol from the 50s and 60s. Ages 18 and over only.

Sussex Arts Club, 5pm and 7.45pm, £12/£10

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Dave Fulton, Gordon Souhtern, Phil Butler and excellent local MC Stephen Grant. Komedia, 7pm and 10.30pm, £16 Le Cabaret Des Chiche Capon Like the Muppets in real life, this anarchic cabaret show from Paris has returned after its sell-out show in Brighton last year. Komedia, 8.30pm, £12.50 The Maydays – The Improvability Drive Brighton's leading improv group bring out the big guns. Marlborough Theatre, 10pm, £6

Events Brighton Hip Hop Festival 2007 Official launch with live showcases, record stalls, ticket giveaways and more. Sallis Benney Theatre, University Of Sussex, 3–8pm, £3 Brighton Rock Walk Fact-filled walk bringing 1930s Brighton to life, visiting locations featured in the classic film, Brighton Rock. Meet at Brighton Pier entrance. 2–3.30pm, £5.50/£5 Brighton Victorian Sewers Tour A tour of Brighton with a difference: exploring the magnificent Victorian sewer systems. Meet under Brighton Pier, 9.30–10.30am and 11am–12pm, £10/£7.50/£5 The Cathedral Of The Backstreets Guided tour around one of England’s best churches.

Cooked breakfast available 9–11am. Saint Michael and All Angel’s Church, 10–11am, £3 Cowley Food Festival Stalls, free tasters, talks and demonstrations. Cowley Club, 11am–4pm, free Embassy Court Tours Discover the history of Brighton’s most important 20th century building.

Embassy Court, 11–12pm, £6/£4 Famous Brighton Back Passages Explore rarely visited hidden byways. Meet at Brighton Town Hall, 2.30–4.20pm, £5.50 Zen In The Afternoon Family event with meditation, tea, poetry, origami and sushimaking. Brighton Buddhist Centre, 2–5pm, £2

ITALIA CONTI The UK’s Longest Established Stage School (1911) Tried, Tested and Proven!

For Nearly 100 Years!

GO WITH THE BEST! Performing Arts Training

NEW We are coming to Brighton and Hove!

(Sep 2007) Free Trial Day/VIP Day Saturday June 9th I.S.T.D. Ballet, Tap, Modern, Voice/Dialect, L.A.M.D.A. Acting, Singing, Musical Theatre, Jazz, Street Dance, Film and TV, Agency, Latin American

Email: lindaedwards@italiaconti.co.uk Web: www.italiacontibrightonhove.co.uk

020 7608 7513 or 01273 325209 Are you watching…?

Grease Is The Word!

Any Dream Will Do! (we have 3 current students in the finals!)

PATRONS: Bonnie Lythgoe – Carole Todd

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

latest 7 45

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Maddie Live ‘Talking Up the Fringe’ For the first time ever, the Brighton Festival Fringe brings you a hot new talk show. Come and meet the stars of this year’s Festival as they tell all and perform like never before.

May 21, 2007 – Maddie Live Goes Hip Hop! Featuring Michele D’Acosta, Indy Hunjun, Taylor Mac, The Poetry Brothel, Plastic Cabaret, She Said and special performances from the Brighton hip hop crew. A night of words, raps, graffiti, and films. Anything goes as Maddie goes hip hop!

Tickets: £7/£5 2 For 1 Brighton Dome Ticket Office Tel : 01273 709 709 Venue: The Hanbury Club 83 St. George’s Road, Brighton www.maddielive.com

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sunday 20 Live music Acoustic Jam Session Weekly chilled evening of acoustic jamming with PA. The Portland, 8pm, free Dave Migden & Joe Gibson Acoustic duo who perform adaptations of American roots music – from Ry Cooder to Randy Newman.

The Capitol, Horsham, 8pm, £8 Elliot Brood + Southern Tenant Folk Union Banjo-led raucous ‘death country’ from Canada, plus eight-piece bluegrass outfit from London.

Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £5.50 Gareth Pearson Young fingerstylist and composer from South Wales who specialises in playing the music of Chet Atkins, Tommy Emmanuel and Jerry Reed. Anchor Inn, Barcombe, 8pm, £10 Gala Performance Students from East Sussex Academy of Music in Lewes perform in aid of St. Luke’s Community Project working with local children’s hospices and African schools. St. Luke’s Church, 2.30pm, £7.50/£5 Kris Bell & friends Weekly acoustic shindig hosted by Kris Bell with friends playing a mix of covers and originals. Chequers 8.30pm, free Make Good Your Escape + Teasing Lulu + Hello Geiger + The Connection Local bands headlined by the epic indie of Make Good... and backed up by the militant punk-pop of Teasing Lulu. The Hope, 7pm, £4 Mountain Firework Company Outstanding bluegrass and country band from Brighton who always generate rave reviews for their luscious, bittersweet harmonies and pop-like hooks.

Udderbelly, 5pm, £8/£6 Nex Metal and punk rock from Huddersfield.

Pressure Point, 8pm, £tbc Phil Beer Band One-half of England’s foremost folk and roots duo, Show Of Hands, brings his big electric band to town. Joining him will be Miranda Sykes, Gareth Turner, Steve Crickett and Deb Sandland. Pavilion, Hailsham, 7.30pm, £17.50 Phloot Groove Jazz, blues and funky loops.

Neptune, 8.30pm, free Rob Key + Stephen Boniface Acoustic vibes.

Pav Tav, 8pm, free Sesame Forum Jazz trio. Brunswick, 3pm, free String Whistle Multi-instrumental folk duo.

Horsham Folk Club event. The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham, 8pm, £2–£6 Sussex Jazz Orchestra 20-piece big band that covers blues, bossa nova and rock. Hare & Hounds, 4pm, free Swing DeVille Gypsy swing quartet in a Hot Club de Paris-style, and featuring guitars, violin and double bass. Cleveland Pub, 7.30pm, free Vocal Explosion & Fanfara Globally-inspired, upbeat rhythms from Vocal Explosion. Fanfara are a funky ten-piece brass and percussion group playing Eastern European brass band dance music. Udderbelly, 3pm, £8/£6

Bars and clubs Audio Sunday Sundae. Hang out on the sun terrace with the city’s finest DJs. 6pm–11am, £5/£3/£2 Cosmopolitan Bar The Full Moon pub quiz and Sunday roasts. Quiz starts 7.30pm, roasts from 1–6pm Honeyclub Sundelicious. Sabbath house of the electro variety. 10pm–late, £2/£1 St. Christopher’s Open mic night, open until 2am Suga Qube Carry On Sunday. House with John Byrne, Make:Waves and Charmain. Free The Zap Sunday School. Electro and tribal tech house. 10pm–late, £4/free

Gay Bulldog DJ Wayne rocks the main bar, with Cash Karaoke upstairs. 11pm–2am, free Caledonian 2 Jamming with Jamie and Josh, then Davina Sparkle – cabaret. 3.30pm/8pm Candy Bar Club Tropicana. From 9pm, free Charles Street Club Sunday Service. Religion’s

Kit & The Widow, Udderbelly, 9pm

new Sunday night party. 10.30pm–3am, £4 KooKlub Cash Queen. With DJs Mick Fuller, Dulcie Danger and guests. 10.30pm–3am, £7/£5/£4 Legends Dance Embrace.11pm–4am, free The PV Matty Eeles provides music. 6pm Queen’s Arms Super Sunday! Cabaret with Lola Lasagne at 5.15pm then Betty’s Karaoke Show.

Open till 11pm R-Bar Glam & Glitz on stage. 4.30pm Revenge Dance, chart and funky house.

10.30pm–3am, £2 before midnight then £3 Star Inn Bears’ Beer Bash! 4pm–late Vavoom Chill-out music videos all day.

Open till 3am The Zone Cabaret with Davina Sparkle.

Open till midnight, free

Theatre The Adventures Of Tom Thumb Modern-day telling of the Grimm brothers' tale with Tom as a bedridden 80-year-old, dreaming of escaping his nursing home for one last adventure. Ages 6+, Komedia, 2pm, £6/£5 Anne Pigalle: Spirit of Ecstasy / Blank Productions: Life Studies A double bill exploring love, sex and intrigue in Anne Pigalle, plus Mark Hewitt’s evocative ‘nudes in words’ with an experimental live literature production.

Komedia, 6.30pm, £7/£5 Bite-Size – Short and Sweet Best of this year’s Sydney/Melbourne International tenminute play festivals. Suit ages 14+.

Cella@Sanctuary Café, £6/£5, 12.30pm C–90 Daniel Kitson presents a tale of quiet lives and small kindnesses. Listening to discarded compilation tapes, Henry discovers unheard stories about himself and others. The Basement, 8pm, £15 Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their gravity-defying show to Brighton. 7pm, £16/£14 Caviar And Chips The story of three unlikely friends who run away. Original comic routines, tequila nights and more. Marlborough Theatre, 6pm, £8/£6 The Confessions Of Punch & Judy by NACL. Nightingale Theatre, 8pm, £8.50/£6.50 James Dean is Dead (Long Live James Dean) A look at the man behind the myth. Ages 18+. Cella @ The Sanctuary Café, 3.15pm, £8/£6

Look Now Site-specific performance where shafts of light reveal dusty corners, a soundless space awaits visitors and staircases lead to shadowed landings. The Regency Town House, 7pm and 9pm, £8/£6.50 The Maids Site-specific story telling Jean Genet’s tales as translated by Neil Bartlett. Old Ship Hotel, 9.15pm, £15 Sleep Around Beauty Romantic songs, guitar, piano and film sequences with Jackie Stirling, telling her life story. Ages 10 +. Hanbury Club, 6pm and 9pm, £8/£7 These Four Walls The tale of Lena, a young cellist in 1930s Berlin, who hid her Jewish family in her apartment. Marlborough Theatre, 2pm, £7/£5 Whatever Happened To Lyn Roe? A look at the life and death of the Hollywood sex symbol from the 50s and 60s. Ages 18+. Sussex Arts Club, 4pm and 8pm, £12/£10

Comedy Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Dave Fulton, Gordon Southern, Phil Butler and excellent local MC Stephen Grant. Komedia, 8pm, £9/£6 students Count Arthur Strong – The Musical?

Character comedy from the one-time variety star and Radio 4 hit. Komedia, 7.30pm, £10 Kit & The Widow Witty and waspish musical satire. Udderbelly, 9pm, £13/£11 Sidesplitters Headliner Kevin Precious, an opener and three new acts all providing a fantastic comedy Sunday night out. The Providence, 8pm, £4

Events Embassy Court Tours Discover the history of Brighton’s most important 20th century building.

Embassy Court, 11–12pm, £6/£4 Momma’s Jazz And Gospel Brunch Explore the history of soul food, culture and music with live music and a cookery demo and a chance to pre-order Momma’s cook book. Momma Cherri’s Big House, 12–1.30pm, £10/£7.50 Open Day On the hour, every hour, tours of a delightful organic garden. With freshly cooked food, stroytelling and environmental art going on too! Moulsecoomb Place Allotments, 12–5pm, free check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

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monday 21 Live music

Gay

Jeff Howlett Trio Jazz and funk. Arthouse, 8.30pm, free Leon + Unkle Jam Electro-soul from threepiece Unkle Soul. Pressure Point, 8pm, £tbc Leon McCawley International Beethoven Piano Competition winner performing Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert and Chopin. Pavilion Theatre, 1pm, £7.50 Tina Dico Danish singer-songwriter who is big in her native country and is well-known here as guest vocalist with Zero 7. Komedia, 8pm, £10

Bulldog Marcia’s Glitter Ball. ’70s and ’80s disco classics. 11pm–2am, free Charles Street Club Studio 150. Party tunes with DJs Luke and Ali, plus sexy dancers.

10.30pm–3am, £1.50 Legends Dance Mojo. Classics from across the decades. 11pm–4am, free Marine Tavern Elsie’s Chillout. 12pm–12am Marlborough Student social night with games, pool and tunes. From 6pm Queen’s Arms Spice’s Karaoke Show. 9pm R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. 10pm–late Revenge Cabaret with Dave Lynn and a stripper.10.30pm–3am, free The Zone Reggae.Open till 12am

Bars and clubs Beach We Love 90s. Tunes from way back when. 10.30pm–3am, £2/90p Casablanca Now That’s What I Call The 80s.

10.30pm–3am, free Cosmopolitan Bar Parlour Games. Have a drink and play some games. Bring your own games or choose from the selection at the bar. Free Funky Buddha Lounge Caramel. R’n’B, hip hop and funk. 10.30pm–3.30am £3/£1 Honeyclub Stardust versus Corrosion. Cheese and rock double header. 11pm–4am, £4.50/£1.50 KooKlub No Class. Student night with pop, cheese and old-skool. 10pm–3am, £3 NUS Suga Qube Late Night Lounging. Hip hop, soul and Downtempo. Open till 4am, free Volks Tip Top presents Strictly Reggae.

Dancehall, bashment and roots. 10pm–late, £4.50/£3.50

Theatre Caesar Twins The stars of La Clique bring their gravity-defying show to Brighton. 9pm, £16/£14 The Confessions Of Punch & Judy by NACL. Nightingale Theatre,8pm, £8.50/£6.50 Laurence Olivier’s Henry V Celebrating Oilvier’s centenary, a digitally remastered print of the Henry V film, set to the first ever live performance of William Walton’s original orchestral score. Brighton Dome,7.30pm, £12.50–£50 SOLD OUT Pre Paradise, Sorry Now Fassbinder’s controversial masterpiece – a world of pimps, thugs and human experiments. Ages 18+. The Hope, 7.30pm, £5 Whatever Happened To Lyn Roe? A look at the life and death of Hollywood iconic sex

symbol from the 50s and 60s: Lyn Roe. Ages 18+. Sussex Arts Club, 6pm and 8.30pm, £12/£10

Comedy Stewart Lee – 41st Best Stand-up Ever The ranking in the title is according to a recent TV show. Many in Brighton think he’s better than that. With new material and a brilliant mind.

Udderbelly, 7pm, £12/£10 Maddie Live – Talking Up The Fringe Fringe talk show with some of the stars of the festival joining Maddie in her bath for a chat. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £7/£5 Stephen Grant – Attention To Detail From The Krater Club, Southern FM and storming it at the Paramount Festival, the local comic with wits so sharp they must’ve been through a pencil sharpener offers this intimate show.

Marlborough Theatre, 9.30pm, £6/£5

Events An Evening With Nightingales Hear nightingales out on the reserve and see how these wonderful birds have inspired musicians and poets through time. Woods Mill Nature Reserve. 7.30pm, £8/£6 Visions Of Our Future Professor Erik Millstone looks at the rise in child obesity in the UK. What can be done to reverse this trend? Come along to find out more. The Freemans Centre, 6–7.30pm, £3, students go free

Laurence Olivier’s Henry V, Dome, 7.30pm, SOLD OUT

check with venue before travelling. ➧ Please See our venue directory for details

latest 7 47

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5/10/07

11:39 AM

Page 2

A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East Street, Brighton 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade 01273 688825 www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront Brighton Marina 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 605525 www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches 01273 770505 Arthouse Gallery 10 Western Road, Hove 01273 770083 Audio 10 Marine Parade 01273 606906 www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton www.creationbrighton.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 722272 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton 01273 202035 Bom-Banes Restaurant 24 George Street, Brighton 01273 606299 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton 0870 900 9100 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton Gloucester 27 Gloucester Place 01273 688011 Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove 01273 204601 www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 290900 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street 01273 696996 www.bulldogbrighton.com Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street 01273 622424 www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton 01273 321817 Cella at Sanctuary Café 51–55 Brunswick St East, Hove 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade 01273 624091 www.charlesstreetbar.com Cineworld Brighton Marina Village 01273 818094 www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton 01273 696104 www.cowleyclub.org.uk Creation 78 West Street, Brighton 01273 321628 www.creationbrighton.com Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road 01273 328765 www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton 01273 626261 www.picturehouses.co.uk Education Room Brighton Pavilion 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton 01273 728999 www.engineroomclub.com

48 latest 7

Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.theenigmabrighton.co.uk The Fishbowl 74 East Street 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road 01273 682401 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place 01273 603974 Freemasons 38 Western Road, Hove 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 725541 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove 0844 999 6349 Gardner Arts Centre, University of Sussex campus, Falmer 01273 685861 www.gardnerarts.co.uk The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton 01273 727114 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton 01273 681163 HQ 43 Providence Place, Brighton 01273 620630 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 01273 202807 www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 194 Church Road, Hove 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove 0870 900 9100 www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton 01273 328439 www.thejazzplacebrighton.co.uk Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 687171 www.joogleberry.com Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove 01273 724195 King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton 01273 606207 Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Koo Klub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton 01273 888000 www.kooklub.co.uk

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

Brighton 01273 732323 www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove 01273 383840 www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75-79 East Street, Brighton 01273 777904 www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton 01273 702333 www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove 01273 727822 PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton 01273 325491 www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 608133 www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina 01273 675007 www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina 01273 605602 www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 606064 www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton 01273 683844 Saqqara 158 North Street, Brighton 01273 779701 Sky Bar 54-55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton 01273 601450 Suga Qube 5 Castle Square 01273 770246 Sumo 9–12 Middle Street 01273 749465 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street 01273 778020 Theatre Royal New Road 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton 01273 715077

V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton 01273 682828 www.volksclub.co.uk

Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton 07782 278521 www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton 01273 681284 www.harlequin-brighton.co.uk Mint Meeting House Lane 0871 2072 088 Mojo’s Bar & Restaurant 103 North Road, Brighton 01273 622522

Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford St, Brighton 01273 603726 Wild Fruit @ Creation, 78 West Street, Brighton www.wildfruit.co.uk West Hill Hall Compton Avenue, Brighton

New Madeira Hotel 19-23 Marine Parade, Brighton 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk

The Zap Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 202407 Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 626442

Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton 01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton 0871 224 4007 www.odeon.co.uk Ohso Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton 01273 604993 Pavilion Tavern 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton 01273 709709 www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95-99 Western Road,

Around Sussex The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe 01273 400414 www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk Ashdown Forest Broadstone car park, second left from Wychcross Assembly Hall Connaught Theatre Pavilion Theatre, Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham 01403 750220 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath 01444 455440 Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross 01444 400218 www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham 01306 875653 www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing 01903 236427 Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes 01273 477931 www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill 01444 242888 Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes 01273 478124 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

000_LSXXX_Job Ads

5/9/07

5:17 PM

Page 1

JOBS

DEAN & CO Due to an internal promotion we now have a rarely available opportunity to join our highly successful estate agency.

SECRETARY/ADMINISTRATOR (Hours & salary negotiable) Duties to include typing including audio, computer and telephone skills essential, arranging viewings, accompanied viewings on one in four saturdays. Immediate start available.

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Experienced consultants are skilled in their particular markets offering permanent and temporary opportunities within Commerce and Industry, Public Practice and the Public Sector/N4P for accountancy vacancies as well as In-house and Private Practice for legal vacancies.

All current vacancies can be found on the website at www.harveyjohn.com or call for more information on 01273 820808.

SATURDAY ASSISTANT (Every other Saturday) Office based duties to include meet and greet clients, arranging appointments, telephone and computer skills essential. Position to commence June 2007.

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Or email: les@dean-property.co.uk

TEL: 01273 721061 1 THE PARADE, HANGLETON ROAD, HOVE

23 Queens road, Brighton, BN1 3XA Telephone 01273 734057 / 207193 email: brighton.care@bluearrow.co.uk

Sales Executive required for busy advertising dept

Property Recruitment Specialists

Lettings Administrator

Hove

We are looking for a focused and organised individual that will be responsible for producing contracts, reference checks and liaising with tenants and landlords. You must have excellent attention to detail, IT literate, enthusiasm and lots of energy!

Investment Consultant

Surrey

Consulting existing and prospective investors mainly in the New Homes sector. Must be proactive and highly motivated. Promotion within seminars and trade conferences is also required. Fantastic opportunity with high earning potential.

Letting Negotiator

Eastbourne

We require a driven, ambitious, motivated individual to take Eastbourne by storm! You will predominantly be the main negotiator within the office and therefore have every opportunity to tie up those deals and reap the rewards!

Branch Manager

Horley

Highly experienced Branch Manager required for very successful office in Horley. Expected on target earnings reaching upto £70k. Contact us immediately for further details.

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...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

The top media sales position in Sussex is available as Latest Magazines expands! Latest Homes Ltd cover a variety of titles including property, health and art. Be a part of our creative team and work in a fast-paced environment, managing existing accounts and developing new client contacts.

If you can answer yes to the following, then you could be who we are looking for to join our successful team: • Energetic & enthusiastic approach • Minimum of two years experience • Proven track record in face to face sales • Highly motivated with the ability to work as part of the team and on your own initiative • Organised and able to work to deadlines • Excellent customer service skills Apply by emailing your CV to lynne@thelatest.co.uk or call Lynne Edwards on 01273 818150 ex. 112 for an informal chat Latest Homes Ltd Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 01273 818150 www.thelatest.co.uk

latest homes latest jobs 49

000_LS321_DWL

5/10/07

11:43 AM

Page 2

JOBS & BUSINESS

Business aid

Ian Wilson of local solicitors Dean Wilson Laing gives invaluable advice to the city’s thousands of small companies and employees This week: Smoking at the office

QUESTION: I am an employee in a small office and I am aware that my employer has just received a guide relating to the new smoke free law which takes effect on the 1st July 2007.

Does this new law apply to all offices regardless of the number of people working there?

ANSWER: The new law will apply to virtually all enclosed public places which includes work places and it does not matter how many people are employed in that work place.

QUESTION: As a smoker myself, as is my boss, this has not been a problem until now. Does this mean I now have to go outside in the rain and smoke and if so is my employer obliged to find somewhere dry and warm for me to smoke?

ANSWER: The simple answer is there is no such obligation nor is there any obligation for the employer to designate any specific room for smoking although there are exemptions for some hotels and care homes but these exemptions are rare.

ashtrays, introduce a smoke free policy and train staff to understand the new law.

QUESTION: Can I insist on having time off to go outside to smoke?

ANSWER: There is no such ban unless you are working there with other people or clients might visit you there.

QUESTION: Presumably if I was able to work from home there is no ban against smoking there?

ANSWER: No, you cannot insist upon this. If your employer refuses (which seems unlikely in your case) there really is nothing that you can do about it. It would be more sensible to try to negotiate certain times during the day when you could do this.

Indeed your employer is under an obligation to make sure that the premises are smoke free and will have to, for example, remove

Ian Wilson is senior partner of six-partner Brighton solicitors Dean Wilson Laing and specialises in employment law. He was a part-time chairman of the Employment Tribunals for nine years. He is also a board member of The Prince’s Trust (Sussex).

Do you have a question on employment law for Ian? Send it to Latest Homes at our usual address, or by email to editorial@thelatest.co.uk

DWL

SOUND ADVICE Dean Wilson Laing • Employment law • Personal injury • Family lawyers • Will & probate • Buying & selling your home

contact

Sue Ines si@dwl.uk.com 96 Church Street•Brighton•BN1 1UJ t: 01273 327241 f: 01273 770913 thelawyers@dwl.uk.com•www.dwl.uk.com

50 latest jobs

Community Legal Service

Specialist Help Point Housing, Family and Personal Injury Law

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051_LS321_Job Ads

5/9/07

5:23 PM

Page 1

JOBS

LETTINGS Top Media Jobs Mac Operator/Junior Artworker – G2 International Marketing Limited We're seeking a talented Mac Operator/Junior artworker to join our busy design studio. G2 International Marketing's creative portfolio spans a wide variety of projects from Brand Identity, Brochures, Direct Marketing and Exhibitions through to all forms of e-marketing

Project Manager – Wordtrans Ltd

Hall’s Residential Lettings has a vacancy for a

SALES AND LETTING NEGOTIATOR

You will need to be able to communicate effectively with suppliers and clients, be able to multi-task, possess good computing experience, and have an eye for detail. On-going training will be provided for Déjà Vu, a Translation Memory System.

This position is full time

Sales Director – Oyster Healthcare Communications Ltd

• The ideal candidate will have good communication skills

We are seeking an open-minded, creative, strategic thinking Sales Director to drive new business. Join a dynamic, creative and growing business where you can work independently, flexibly, be well rewarded and see your best ideas developed and implemented.

.NET Software Developer – Cell Telecom

• Some sales/letting experience preferable • Administration experience would be an advantage

The successful candidate will join our fast growing development team of E-commerce systems where mobility and e-learning projects are examples of up-coming projects.

• Must have a full driving license

Sales Executive – Silentworld Ltd

For an interview please send in your CV to:

Your role will be selling 'white label' fantasy sport games to marketing decision makers in large blue chip brands and medium sized companies.

Strategic Planner (digital) – Kerb The Strategic Planner interacts with the account, creative and technical teams as well as senior clients, providing the insight needed to inform effective digital marketing strategies.

Rachel Bannister rachel.bannister@halls-estate.com 27 New Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1UG or call 01273 244 444

Production Manager – Facilitate Ltd We are looking for an experienced production manager to manage a team of 3 production editors and a production coordinator, and oversee the throughput of materials in print and other media. The ideal candidate is someone who already works in a similar environment with team management responsibilities.

Junior Systems Administrator – Digitalbrain plc In order to maintain our high profile within a competitive and aggressive market we are focused on enhancing and expanding our product and services portfolio, and are therefore looking to expand our range of skills in-house.

Freelance Flash Programmer – Cogapp Working at Cogapp you will have access to the latest development tools and be involved in all project stages, from conception to delivery and - where appropriate - physical installation.

News Number One Sussex Design Agency Oliver & Graimes, the design, marketing and new media agency have recently been ranked as the most successful agency in Sussex by Campaign magazine, the weekly 'bible' of the advertising industry. The annual report placed O&G as 29th UK agency outside of London and the only Sussex based agency to make the prestigious list.

Plug-in Media Nominated for the "Oscars of the Internet" BRIGHTON, UK 10th April 2007 – The Webby Awards, the leading international award for the Web, today nominated Flash specialists Plug-in Media for the Best Professional Services website of 2007. The site can be seen at www.pluginmedia.net

Killer Creative wins national bathroom showroom account Brighton advertising agency Killer Creative has won a four way pitch to promote national bathroom specialists Reflections Bathroooms. The campaign, comprising lifestyle magazines, local press and local radio campaigns will re-position the brand in addition to promoting the expansion of Reflections and their two new showrooms in Reading and Woking.

...to advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

latest jobs 51

052_LS321_TVIntro

5/11/07

11:12 AM

Page 2

latestTV

Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Films on TV

Ray, Tuesday 15, ITV1, 9pm

House

FRIDAY 18 (2001, BBC2, 12.35am. Dir Tim Blake Nelson) A reworking of Shakespeare’s Othello, but set in a US high school. Yes, another teen interpretation of the Bard’s work, but with a good cast including ER’s Mekhi Phifer in the title role, Josh Hartnett and Julia Stiles, this tale of prejudice and jealousy at least gets its fair shot, with a good production.

VN

TUESDAY 15

SATURDAY 19

Ray ★★★★✩

Pitch Black ★★★★✩

(2005, ITV1, 9pm. Dir Taylor Hackford) Jamie Foxx won an Oscar for his depiction of the musical legend that is Ray Charles. Biopics are good fodder for that. However, this tale shows a segregated time, a people recovering from a foreign war, and a bit of rock ’n’ roll history. More than just the story of one man.

Victoria Nangle

(2000, Channel 4, 9.10pm. Dir David Twohy) Quality low-budget horror that first brought Vin Deisel to our attention, back when he was an actor, instead of an action figure. A prison ship crashes on an apparently lifeless planet.

Classic haunted-house-in-space stuff, nicely turned out.

VN

WEDNESDAY 16 The Sixth Day ★★★✩✩ (2000, Five, 9pm. Dir Roger Spottiswoode) Apocalyptic rubbish starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnie’s a helicopter pilot who has a bit of a crash. He thought that was the worst bit but it turns out, when he recovers, he’s been replaced by a clone! Heavens to Murgatroyd! That’s when the fun kicks off in this average thriller.

VN

THURSDAY 17 Lethal Weapon 2 ★★★✩✩ (1989, Channel 4, 10pm.

Dir Richard Donner) Mel Gibson before everything he did seemed to involve some Bible connection, playing the action hero with Danny Glover as the cheese to Mel’s chalk. The buddy cops are hot on the trail of South African smugglers, using big bangs with joyous gratuitosity. Also stars Joss Ackland and Patsy Kensit.

VN

FRIDAY 18 Dead Calm ★★★★✩ (1989, SkyOne, 9pm Dir Phillip Noyce) This Australian three-handed thriller has the brilliant line-up of Nicole Kidman, Sam Neill and Billy Zane – and a plot. Always a bonus. Neill and Kidman are a normal couple and Zane is a nutter. And they’re all at sea.

Excellently delivered.

VN

52 latest 7

Movies on the box this week

O ★★★✩✩

Thursday 24 May, Five, 9pm House is in big trouble, really big trouble. After prescribing himself pain killers for a very long time he has finally been caught out and is given an ultimatum: he either goes to rehab for two months or prison for two months.

House doesn’t believe he belongs in either, if he goes to rehab he has to live with the fact that all his colleagues will think he takes drugs for other reasons than the pain he feels, and if he goes to jail he won’t practice medicine again.

What’s a guy with a limp to do?

The weird thing about watching this episode is that it’s Christmas in House land, and when it’s sunny outside for me I find it hard to watch Christmas scenes. I’m not totally sure why that is but I’m sure I’m not the only one who has that weird seasonal TV problem.

House is in the middle of a diagnosis when the other doctors take his pain killers away, so he goes home, leaving the other clueless doctors to try and solve the problem with the teenager. House will only come back if they give him some tablets, but they won’t give him tablets unless he agrees to go to rehab.

You’ve gotta love Hugh Laurie, I mean it’s almost impossible not to, he does an amazing American accent, a brilliantly convincing limp, and best of all, he is one of our best British exports, doing really well playing an American doctor better than an American could! One up for us!

The patient – a teenage dwarf – is treated, gets a bit better then gets bad again, then a bit better then bad again.

So the rest of the staff are left with a big decision, do they give House the drugs to get him to help or do they try and do it on their own? Will House accept the offer to go to rehab to stay out of jail or does his time run out?

This show is one of those programmes that keeps you wanting more, every episode I have seen has had me laughing out loud, gasping in shock and sitting at the edge of my seat. Perhaps I’m just lucky and always manage to catch the episodes jam-packed full of goodness, but I doubt that’s the case. Every review I’ve read about House says the same thing – that it should be watched – and I agree. As hospital dramas go, this is one of the best. Good script, good actors, good setting, good plots, you can’t ask for more!

15–21 May

The Boys From Brazil ★★★★✩ (1978, BBC2, 10.50pm. Dir Franklin J Schaffner) Disturbing ‘what if’ thriller considering what would have happened had Nazi doctor Josef Mengele cloned the Furher. Starring the great actors of the wartime films – Laurence Olivier, Gregory Peck and James Mason – this takes familiar propaganda-time faces and presents a personal global fear using the same visages.

VN

SUNDAY 20 One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing ★★★★★ (1976, ITV1, 12.10pm. Dir Robert Stevenson) Excellent Disney caper about a dinosaur with a piece of microfilm inside, kidnapped from the Natural History Museum in London, leaving in its wake a trail of nannies, smartly led

by Helen Hayes, the Chinese mafia headed by Peter Ustinov, and a British spy (Derek Nimmo). Brilliant Sunday afternoon stuff.

VN

MONDAY 21 The Craft ★★★✩✩ (1996, E4, 9pm. Dir Andrew Fleming) Teen horror tale of high school witches hubbling and bubbling away.

Robin Tunney is the new girl in town but quickly falls in with fellow outcasts Fairuza Balk and Neve Campbell to create a witches’ brew of jealousies and power struggles. Fun effects and a fair old yarn.

VN

053_LS321_TV_Tue

5/10/07

5:51 PM

Page 1

tuesday 15 The Widow’s Tale BBC2, 9pm Time was when ‘widow’ was solely used as a term for an elderly lady draped in black lace with more creases than than a student’s duvet cover.

Challenging our impressions, six different widows from different backgrounds, including Alex Best, tell their stories with touching candour.

Virgin School Channel 4, 10pm Not about a ‘we wait for Jesus’ learning establishment in America’s Bible belt, but actually a documentary chronicling the emotional journey of 26-year-old virgin James, who embarks on a four month course for sexually inexperienced men. Heading off to Amsterdam, James’ hopes and dreams hang in the balance.

How Much Is Your Life Worth?: Storyville BBC4, 10.30pm The Beeb’s got quite good at quirky documentaries, and this is no exception. Consulting attorneys and adjusters involved in cases of wrongful death, this tells how calculations get involved when tragedy strikes and how it becomes a fiscal matter. Most bizarre.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 Watch My Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show 4.30 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 Primary History: Britain Since 1948 10.50 Landmarks: Pakistan And Its People 11.10 Churchill’s Bodyguard 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Pod’s Mission (x2) 1.30 Animal Park 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway 10.00 Teen Tycoons 10.30 Tricky Business Two 11.00 The Market 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place Down Under 1.05 FILM: The Train (1964) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Live International Cricket 12.30pm Sky Sports Classics 1.00 FA Cup Classics 1.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 FA Cup Classics 4.30 Football League 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Football Special 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 Football Special 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30am FA Cup Classics 1.00 Football League 2.30 Football Special 3.00 You’re On Sky Sports 4.00 FA Cup Classics 4.30 Close

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Danny Wallace reveals which castaway must depart.

Probably the only one who knows how to cook.

7.30 EastEnders Rob confronts May over her accusations. Rob, mate, your wife’s gone a bit loopy.

8.00 Holby Blue John regrets his night of passion with Rachel. Must there always be regrettable nights of passion at police stations? Has The Bill not cornered the market in this?

9.00 CCTV: You Are Being Watched With Britain using more than four million surveillance cameras, This is the second of a twopart documentary on the history of CCTV. The real Big Brother.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Imagine... Stealing Klimt The struggle by 90-year-old Maria Altmann to recover five Gustav Klimt paintings stolen from her family by the Nazis in 1938 and which have hung in the Austrian National Gallery ever since.

11.30 FILM: Best In Show (2000) Starring Christopher Guest, Parker Posey, Michael McKean and Catherine O’Hara. Spoof documentary about the world of dog shows.

12.55am Sign Zone: See Hear 1.25 Timewatch 2.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.00 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show with clever people. ‘Cos clever people love being called Eggheads. Really, really.

6.30 Great British Menu It’s day two of the North of England heat and Marcus Wareing is defending his title against stiff competition from Mark Broadbent. The heat is on. In the kitchen. Geddit?

7.00 The Apprentice The candidates have one day to buy ten items from a list for the least money possible, and get back to the boardroom by 6pm.

On your marks...

8.00 Francesco’s Italy: Top To Toe Francesco da Mosto travels the length and breadth of Italy.

9.00 The Widow’s Tale See highlights.

10.00 QI Hosted by Stephen Fry, panellists are Arthur Smith, Clive Anderson, Vic Reeves and Alan Davies.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 How To Have A Good Death The results of the biggest ever poll of the public’s views on death and dying, which show that not many of us are facing up to what will happen when the big moment comes.

12.50am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 Science In Action Lively reallife situations demonstrating the science in everyday life.

4.00 Science In Action Lively reallife situations demonstrating the science in everyday life.

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Louise wonders if she’s doing the right thing by marrying Hari. No one else seems to think so. Listen to your mates, pet.

7.30 Focus A man who discovered a Bronze Age gold cup with his metal detector claims he is being denied any recognition by the establishment for the artifact that is now exhibited in the British Museum. Grr. 8.00 House Of Horrors The original catcher-of-nasty-cowboy-workmen programme. Jonathan Maitland’s team, posing as nurses and pensioners – because only the nastiest would pick on old carers – lure a computer repairman who steals more hardware than he fixes, and a pest controller who invents a wasp nest.

9.00 FILM: Ray (2004) Starring Jamie Foxx, Kerry Washington, Bokeem Woodbine, Regina King, Clifton Powell. Oscar-winning drama telling the turbulent life story of blind musical genius Ray Charles.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Ray (2004) Continued.

12.25am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Punk Rock Forever A nostalgic look back at punk rock, featuring the Buzzcocks and the Sex Pistols.

5.00 ITV Nightscreen Text-based information service.

5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Krusty is arrested for tax fraud after Bart inadvertently exposes his illegal bank account. Ain’t fans grand?

6.30 Hollyoaks Josh realises that heartbreak is on the way for him and Amy. But there’s more – he’s yet to find out about their relationship.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Pout. Stick your lips out really far, like a sulking toddler, and they’ll eclipse the rest of your body. Maybe. Or you could watch this and find out about self-esteem and dressing well.

9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Gordon Ramsay hosts a fast-paced food magazine show featuring recipes, consumer stories and cooking challenges. Top Gear’s James May takes on Gordon in the recipe challenge and Denise van Outen joins the diners in his restaurant.

10.00 Virgin School See highlights.

11.05 How Not To Lose Your Identity Doc highlighting disastrous implications of identity fraud.

12.10am PartyPoker.com Poker Nations Cup 1.10 Red Bull Air Race 1.55 FIA GT Championship 2.25 KOTV Classics 3.20 Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 3.50 Grudge Match 4.00 Animated Tales Of The World

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.35 FILM: The Deadly Look Of Love (2000) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Trial By Media (2000) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Matilda, Cassie and Lucas concoct a plan to get Ric out of prison. The old file in the cake trick never fails.

6.30 Joey Joey decides to take his nephew out to teach him how to meet women.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Gavin Stamp’s Orient Express Gavin Stamp follows the old route of the Orient Express from London to Istanbul. Gavin’s trip reaches the former communist countries of Slovakia and Hungary.

8.00 Return Of The Tribe Doc in which Donal MacIntyre guides six members of a remote Papua New Guinean tribe around Britain.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The CSIs investigate the disappearance of a high school cheerleader and her basketball player boyfriend. No eloping here.

10.00 CSI: Miami The team is called to investigate the discovery of a corpse unearthed during a beach volleyball tournament. As you do.

11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit When a teacher leading a dangerous double life is murdered, there is a long list of suspects.

12.00am Arrest And Trial 12.30 Arrest And Trial 12.55 NBA Basketball 4.20 Supercross World Championship 5.10 World Motocross

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Football League 9.30 FA Cup Classics 10.00 Hold The Back Page 11.30 FA Cup Classics 12.00pm Speedway: Elite League 2.00 Football League 3.30 World Motor Sport 6.00 Cycling 7.00 LIVE Horse Racing 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 12.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 1.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 2.00 Dunlop Motorsports Festival 3.30 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 5.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Netball 9.00 Speedway: Elite League 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Wild Spirits 12.30 Dunlop Motorsports Festival 2.00 On The Edge 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Netball 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 British Formula Ford 7.30 The Dogs 8.00 Ladies’ European Tour Golf 9.00 International Cricket 11.00 Ladies’ European Tour Golf 12.00am Cycling 1.00 Ladies’ European Tour Golf 2.00 The Dogs 2.30 Cycling 3.30 International Cricket 5.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Project Catwalk 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Badger Or Bust 11.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 12.00am Law And Order

7.00pm Spendaholics Saved My Life 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 The Scam Squad 9.00 The Panic Room 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Sex... With Mum And Dad 11.25 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.15 Sex... With Mum And Dad 2.10 The Real Hustle 2.40 The Scam Squad

8.00pm The World 8.30 Marcus Brigstocke’s Trophy People 9.00 The Diary Of A Nobody 9.30 The League Of Gentlemen 10.00 Operation Good Guys 10.30 How Much Is Your Life Worth?: Storyville. See highlights. 11.40 The Diary Of A Nobody 12.10am Marcus Brigstocke’s Trophy People

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.35 The Ricki Lake Show 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 American Idol (x2) 9.00 Fit For A Prince 10.00 FILM: Demolition Man (1993) 12.25am FILM: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

12.55pm Hannay 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.00 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: To Honour And Obey 9.00 City Lights 10.00 Inspector Wexford: Put On By Cunning 12.10am Lovejoy

2.00pm Switched 2.30 Ed 3.30 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 What About Brian 10.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat 10.30 Peep Show 11.00 Skins 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat 1.35 Peep Show

1.05pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: The Fighting Seabees (1944) 6.00 3 Minute Wonder: Mouthing Off 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Animal Farm 10.00 FILM: A Private Function (1984) 11.55 NYPD Blue 12.55am The Daily Show

12.00pm Maury 12.55 The Fix 1.00 Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Exposed: Britney Spears 9.00 Most Haunted: Recurring Nightmares 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.05pm Porridge 3.45 Only Fools And Horses 4.50 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Keeping Up Appearances 7.40 Dinnerladies 8.20 One Foot In The Grave 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 New Tricks 11.30 The Catherine Tate Show (x2) 12.50am One Foot In The Grave

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 King Of Queens (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.10 Sex And The City (x2)

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 11.00 Lobstermen: Jeopardy At Sea 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Magma: Volcanic Disaster (2006) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 11.35 Medium 12.35am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 2.30 Psychic Detectives 3.00 ReGenesis

10.10am One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 12.00pm Modern Times (1936) 1.45 The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) 5.00 My Darling Clementine (1946) 6.50 Kiss Me, Stupid (1964) 9.00 The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) 12.15am My Darling Clementine (1946)

12.00pm Bombon, El Perro (2004) 2.00 All About My Mother (1999) 4.00 AFI Sean Connery Tribute 6.00 Sci-Fi & Horror Close-Up 6.30 Into The Deep (1994) 7.20 Bombon, El Perro (2004) 9.00 Sideways (2004) 11.10 All About My Mother (1999) 1.10am AFI Sean Connery Tribute

1.00pm Down To Earth (1947) 3.00 You’ll Never Get Rich (1941) 4.45 Siege At Red River (1954) 6.35 Chariots Of Fire (1981) Running very fast at university made a real difference in this wellrespected Brit flick. 9.00 Vera Drake (2004) 11.25 Tell Me Something (1999) 1.50am Twisted (2004)

7.05am The Journey (1959) 9.15 The Alphabet Murders (1966) 11.00 The Time Machine (1960) 12.55pm Ada (1961) 3.00 Silk Stockings (1957) 5.10 Never So Few (1959) 7.30 Vengeance Valley (1951) 9.00 Westworld (1973) 10.40 The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967) 12.35am Victor/Victoria (1982)

Classics

Indie

054_LS321_TV_Wed

5/10/07

11:32 AM

Page 1

wednesday 16 How The Other Half Learns Five, 8pm One of those swappsy docs, in which people tend to end up shouting two inches away from one another. Here, the children show the grown ups how it’s done. Six kids from two different schools – one posh boarding the other North London comp – swap around and challenge their preconceptions.

Natural World BBC2, 9pm For literally ages and ages, dogs have had jobs that amounted to more than a lap warmer when it got a little cold. Not simply pets, they hunted, guarded and retreived. It was instinct. And now these instincts are turning some dogs into problem pets. The trainers try and get the pooches off the nasty unemployment line.

Miss Match E4, 10pm It’s that lovely Alicia Silverstone being a divorce attorney. But because she’s so lovely and couldn’t be all about the end of love, she’s also a matchmaker. Of course. Saccharine sweet and completely implausible, with Ryan O’Neill as her father, it’s sugarcoated fun. Tonight she sets up her first gay couple.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Cramp Twins 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Raven 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 In Search Of Myths And Heroes 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm Lifeline 1.10 The Flying Gardener 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway 10.00 Teen Tycoons 10.30 Tricky Business Two 11.00 The Market 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am You’re On Sky Sports 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Football League 9.30 FA Cup Classics 10.00 Football Special 10.30 Revista De La Liga 11.30 Football League 1.00pm Football Special 1.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 FA Cup Classics 4.30 Football League 6.00 FA Cup Classics 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am FA Cup Classics 12.30 Football League 2.00 You’re On Sky Sports 3.00 FA Cup Classics 3.30 Close

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Demolition Keith and his team miss Christmas dinner as they cut down an old railway bridge – pure demolition determination.

7.30 The Green Green Grass A past love from Peckham sheds new light on old memories. Lovely jubbly.

8.00 Traffic Cops Documentary series about British traffic police.

9.00 The Apprentice The candidates have to create a new brand of trainer.

Alan has laid on one of the country’s top advertising agencies for them to work with, but the creativity is all theirs. They have to come up with a name and logo for their brand, and then produce a poster and TV ad with which to launch it. Tricky.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.40 Too Ugly For Love Documentary about three people with Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

11.40 FILM: Captives (1994) Starring Tim Roth, Julia Ormond, Keith Allen.

A young female dentist starts working in a high-security prison when her marriage breaks up.

1.20am Sign Zone: The Gardener’s Year 1.50 My Life As A Child 2.20 Natural World 3.10 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.55 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Quiz show for the quizzical. Obviously.

6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess.

7.00 Jonathan Meades: Abroad Again Travel, eh?

7.50 Coast: Sefton Sands Sandy.

8.00 Neneh And Andi Dish It Up Food series featuring Neneh Cherry and Andi Oliver who share their passion for food. Is BBC2 turning into The Food Network?

8.30 Sweet Baby James Chef James Martin visits places from his culinary past to show the sources of his best dessert recipes.

9.00 Natural World See highlights.

9.50 Mull - Eagle Paradise 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Adrian Chiles and guests grill the newly fired candidate from the Apprentice. Just what they need.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The New Middle Classes Where has a decade and more of rising prosperity across the social spectrum left Britain’s middle class?

Much bigger certainly. But does that mean we’re all middle class now?

Novelist Tim Lott takes a quirky and humorous journey through the new social landscape of Britain.

12.20am Joins BBC News 24 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Science In Action (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Hari’s attempt to save his reputation ends up with Louise’s life on the line. Just what every fiancée wants.

7.30 Coronation Street Darryl’s noise drives Claire to boiling point, and she takes matters into her own hands. She’s quite highly strung is Claire.

8.00 The Bill A couple discovered breaking into a house say that they are trying to recover their stolen baby but it emerges that the mother has in fact sold her daughter. This is something frowned upon in Sun Hill.

9.00 The Good Samaritan Three men, two wives and one rooftop.

Brian Guest is a man who has the best of intentions but always seems to get things wrong. When he thinks he’s responsible for a man’s death and sets out to make amends, he embarks on a journey of epic proportions. Uh-oh.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 UEFA Cup Final Highlights Matt Smith presents the best of the action from tonight’s UEFA Cup final.

12.00am ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show Jeremy Kyle presents the confrontational talk show as guests thrash out their conflicts and relationship issues.

5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks John Paul’s vivid dreams may come true when Craig pays him a visit, with dramatic consequences. Boys will be boys.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Property Ladder Revisiting David Hollingworth, who is attempting to pursue a career as a full-time property developer.

9.00 Grand Designs Master carpenter Bill Bradley and his wife Sarah are building two new timber houses in south London, planning to sell one off to pay for the other in the hope of living mortgage free.

10.00 Desperate Housewives Tom makes a discovery after the pizzeria is robbed, and Susan and Ian are rescued by Mike, hero that he is.

11.05 Take That: Video Exclusive 11.10 Make Me A Virgin Doc investigating the claim that more and more teenagers are holding on their virginity as a reaction against the sex-obsessed culture of our times.

12.10am Peep Show 12.45 Balls Of Steel 1.30 Take That: Video Exclusive 1.35 The Osbournes (x2) 2.25 Your Face Or Mine?

2.55 Off Centre (x2) 3.45 The Bernie Mac Show 4.10 Greetings From Tucson 4.35 Wild Things 5.25 Countdown

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home & Away 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: Columbo: The Conspirators (1978) 3.30 News 3.35 FILM: Don’t Talk To Strangers (1994) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Ric is finally freed from prison after a dramatic showdown with Johnny. Swinging saloon doors, black and white cowbot hats – the works.

6.30 Joey At Gina’s suggestion, Joey throws a party in order to get to know his neighbours.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Game Ranger Diaries This opening episode sees the staff deal with an aggressive white rhino, an injured elephant and a trapped zebra.

Busy, busy, Argh!! Not as safe as a petting zoo.

8.00 How The Other Half Learns See highlights.

9.00 FILM: The Sixth Day (2000) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Rapaport, Tony Goldwyn, Michael Rooker, Robert Duvall and Sarah Wynter. Futuristic thriller about a helicopter pilot recovering from a near-fatal accident, who finds that a clone has replaced him in his absence. Two Arnies?! Sweet Goodness!

11.25 Disorderly Conduct US documentary series featuring footage of real-life car crashes, drug busts, high-speed pursuits and more.

12.25am PartyPoker.com European Open III Poker action, with the third European Open champion crowned tonight.

1.55 Major League Baseball 4.45 Football Argentina

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 FA Cup Classics 8.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 11.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 1.00pm Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 3.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 5.00 Netball 7.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 7.30 LIVE Speedway 9.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.30 European Tour Weekly 11.00 Max Power 12.00am Speedway - Premier League 2.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 4.00 Netball

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 8.00 Dunlop Motorsports Festival 9.30 Ladies’ European Tour Golf 10.30 The Dogs 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 The Dogs 1.30 Ladies’ European Tour Golf 2.30 British Formula Ford 3.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 4.00 WWE Afterburn 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 Netball 11.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 12.00am Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 2.00 European Tour Weekly 2.30 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 3.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Project Catwalk 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Best Of Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 Pandemic 10.00 Lost 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Las Vegas 1.00 Star Trek: Voyager

7.30pm Honey We’re Killing The Kids Revisited 8.00 Wedding Stories 9.00 Baby-faced Body Builders 10.00 FILM: Tombstone (1993) 12.00am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.55 American Dad (x2) 1.40 Baby Faced Body Builders 2.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.00pm Jerusalem: An Anthem For England 7.50 Diary Of A Nobody: Shorts 8.00 The World 8.30 Indian School 9.00 Edwardian Winners And Losers 10.00 Lloyd George: The People’s Champion 11.30 Jerusalem: An Anthem For England 12.20am Edwardian Winners And Losers 1.20 Indian School

2.35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Weather From Hell 9.00 FILM: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) 11.05 Coronation Street 11.35 Jack Osbourne: Adrenaline Junkie II 12.35am Test Drive My Girlfriend (x2)

12.55pm Hannay 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.00 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Quincy, ME 6.05 Rising Damp 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Rising Damp 9.30 Kiss And Tell 11.50 Lovejoy 12.55am Heartbeat 1.55 Brideshead Revisited

2.05pm Switched 2.35 Ed 3.30 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Miss Match.

See highlights. 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 Miss Match 1.50 Porn: A Family Business (x2)

2.00pm ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 5.35 My Place In The Sun 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With 9.00 True Stories: Death Of A Nation 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.35 Human Footprint 12.10am NYPD Blue 1.10 Countdown

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.00pm Catherine Cookson’s The Dwelling Place 4.00 The Afternoon Play: Girls’ Weekend 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Keeping Up Appearances 7.40 Dinnerladies 8.20 One Foot In The Grave 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 11.20 The Catherine Tate Show (x2) 12.40am One Foot In The Grave 1.20 Room 101

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper Special 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 Decoding Disaster 10.00 Fire Storm: Perfect Disaster 11.00 Minutes From Disaster 12.00am The FBI Files

1.00pm Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Dark Storm (2006) 4.35 Psychic Detectives 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Heroes 10.00 FILM: Dead & Deader (2006) 11.35 Medium 12.35am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Emmanuelle vs Dracula (2004)

12.00pm The Great Dictator (1940) 2.10 Hail The Conquering Hero (1944) 4.10 Look Back In Anger (1958) 6.10 The Young Lions (1958) 9.00 The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 11.10 Look Back In Anger (1958) 1.10am The Great Dictator (1940) 3.25 Classics Close-Up

12.00pm The Consequences Of Love (2004) 2.00 Transamerica (2005) 4.00 Everything Is Illuminated (2005) 6.00 The Secret Life Of Earth(1996) 7.00 The Consequences Of Love (2004) 9.00 Transamerica (2005) 10.45 Breakfast On Pluto (2007) 12.55am The Libertine (2004)

1.00pm The Lady In Question (1940) 2.35 Music Behind The Scenes 3.35 Waterloo Road (1944) 4.55 Sailor Of The King (1953) 6.40 Jean de Florette (1986) Beautiful French tale of warring neighbours. 9.00 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) 11.20 The Football Factory (2004) 1.05am Untold Scandal (2003)

7.05am Conspirator (1949) 8.35 David Copperfield (1935) 11.00 Where The Boys Are (1960) 12.50pm Cass Timberlane (1947) 3.00 Captain Blood (1935) 5.10 The Teahouse Of The August Moon (1956) 7.25 Ride, Vaquero! (1953) 9.00 Wild Rovers (1971) 11.20 The Outfit (1973) 1.15am Stand Up And Fight (1939)

Classics

Indie

055_LS321_TV_Thu

5/10/07

11:29 AM

Page 1

thursday 17 Embarrassing Illnesses Channel 4, 8.30pm All those things you think will go away on their own – or hope they will – whether serious or mild, get an outing in this new series of medical maladies we’d rather not mention. With piles, athlete’s foot, inverted nipples, excessive gas and skin tags getting the works, it’s a dream for all shy boys and girls, or hypochondriacs.

Hustle BBC1, 9pm The gang have conned Eddie the barman out of so many drinks that when he finds himself in a bit of a scrape with the dastardly woman running his father’s retirement home, of course they step into the breech. But she is a clever lady this one, and Danny’s still new at leading the gang. Ooh, it’s fingernails to the quick time.

The Panic Room BBC3, 7pm Time to laugh at someone else’s deepest fears. Or, you could get an inkling into how to deal with your own. With this version of Orwell’s Room 101, psychologists try to help ordinary everyday folk with absolutely dibilitating phobias. Today’s favourite nasties are wasps and – that old favourite – spiders.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.55 Watch My Chops 4.10 The Basil Brush Show 4.35 Dinosapien 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 Look And Read 10.50 Music Makers 11.10 English Express 11.30 Big Slam Poetry 11.50 Primary Geography 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway 10.00 Teen Tycoons 10.30 Tricky Business Two 11.00 The Market 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.30 Channel 4 Racing From York And Salisbury 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am You’re On Sky Sports 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Football League 9.30 FA Cup Classics 10.00 LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 7.00pm FA Cup Classics 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Test Cricket 12.00am FA Cup Classics 12.30 Football League 2.00 Test Cricket 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 FA Cup Classics 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Castaway Series in which a group of Brits learn to survive on an island off the New Zealand coast. It’s a hard knock life for some.

7.30 EastEnders Phil and Ian continue to argue as their camping trip is cut short, and things go from bad to worse as Phil loses control of the car. Yikes! Will they all survive?

8.00 Holby City Elliot struggles to maintain order as Keller descends into chaos. Fireball XL5’s got nothing on this. Disaster we tell you!

9.00 Hustle Drama series about a team of con artists. See highlights.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather Isn’t it great knowing about all the terrible things that are happening all over the world.

10.35 Question Time Topical debate from Norwich chaired by David Dimbleby. It may also be tabled and setteed by him, but no promises.

11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil and his resident helpers Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott.

12.25am Sign Zone: Panorama An investigation into the increasing separation and segregation between Muslim Asians and whites.

12.55 Victoria’s Empire 1.55 Supergrass 3.25 To Buy Or Not To Buy 4.10 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Quiz for clever people with and without hair. The show’s title is no prejudice.

6.30 Great British Menu It’s pudding time! Yummy.

7.00 Wild Florida Local people give their accounts of the exotic animals that live there. It was this big!

7.30 The Museum Two Tasmanian aborigines come to London to claim the remains of their ancestors.

8.00 Hairy Bikers Ride Again Yes, hairy bikers can ride more than once.

8.30 It’s Not Easy Being Green Doc series in which Dick and James Strawbridge help other people to ‘go green’. Face paints not included.

9.00 The Catherine Tate Show Nan’s sister comes over from Spain and Lauren gets hitched.

9.30 Roman’s Empire Comedy series about Roman Pretty, a self-made millionaire with three daughters.

King Lear with a laughter track.

10.00 The Graham Norton Show Joan Collins and Jason Donovan.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The British Way Of Death Documentary exploring why the British funeral has acquired a new spirit of informality.

12.00am FILM: Lovely And Amazing (2001) Heartwarming drama.

1.25 Joins BBC News 24 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Science In Action 4.00 Science

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Little Princess 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Old Bear Stories 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Five News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.35 FILM: Futureworld (1976) 3.35 Five News 3.40 FILM: Survival On The Mountain (1996) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Kelli is alarmed when Amanda tells her she’s turning herself in. That’ll scupper her evil plotting.

6.30 Joey Joey joins Michael’s book club in order to meet women but is soon vying with his nephew for the attentions of an attractive girl.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket On Five 8.00 The Great Escape: China’s Long March Doc about one of the most epic military expeditions ever.

Surrounded by hostile armies, Mao Zedong’s 87,000-strong Communist Red Army escaped and travelled nearly 6,000 miles on foot, in just one year. The west hears survivors’ stories for the first time.

9.00 House As the team try to discover what is causing an apparent allergic reaction in a young gallstone patient, House finds it difficult to concentrate without his pills.

10.00 Shark The shocking murder of a deputy district attorney embroils Stark and his team in the seedy world of call girls and drug dealers.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Grissom, Sofia, Sara and Greg investigate the disappearance of a woman whose car is found abandoned on the edge of a highway.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Dutch Football 5.10 Football Argentina

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The King brothers prepare to learn their fate in court – what does the future hold as the identity of the murderer is revealed?

8.00 The Bill Nikki and Will are on patrol when a woman falls to her death from a tower block. To their horror, they discover that it is a child protection officer from court. A bit too Sopranos for Sun Hill.

9.00 The Last Detective When veteran comedian Bunny Hopper drops dead on stage, Dangerous Davies investigates the circumstances surrounding the death of the funnyman. He discovers that Bunny was a casanova comic with a harem of female fans, and trawling through Bunny’s little black book may throw up the murderer…

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Meridian Soccer Night News and action from all the region’s local teams.

11.30 The Way We Were A nostalgic look back in time featuring vintage footage from the South and the memories of local personalities.

Life before washing machines, fridge freezers and women’s rights.

12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Craig and John Paul struggle to deal with what happened between them.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: I Am What I Spend 8.00 How Clean Is Your House?

Kim and Aggie travel the country looking for the filthiest homes in desperate need of cleaning. David and Angela May’s Cornish cottage has been their marital home for 28 years, but the filth is threatening to drive the couple apart.

8.30 Embarrassing Illnesses See highlights.

9.00 Dispatches Follow-up to Beneath the Veil, the investigation into the plight of women living under the Taliban in Afghanistan. Five years later, journalist Sharmeen ObaidChinoy returns to Afghanistan to find out how life has changed.

10.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon II (1989) Starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland and Patsy Kensit. Explosive sequel to the original blockbuster thriller.

12.10am 4 Music: 4 Music Presents... Linkin Park 12.45 FILM: Earth Vs The Spider (2001) 2.25 FILM: Farewell, My Lovely (1975) 4.05 Unreported World 4.30 Dispatches: Gordon Brown – Fit For Office?

5.25 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 On The Edge 7.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 7.30 FA Cup Classics 8.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 9.00 On The Edge 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 LIVE Golf – Irish Open 1.00pm FA Cup Classics 1.30 Football League 3.00 LIVE Golf - Irish Open 6.00 Extreme Carp 6.30 NBA Action 7.00 Guinness Rugby Club 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Guinness Rugby Club 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Race World 12.30am Golf Night 3.00 Guinness Rugby Club

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Netball 9.00 Speedway – Premier League 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 1.00 Speedway – Premier League 3.00 Netball 5.00 WWE Heat 6.00 WWE Special 7.00 LIVE Boots N All Special 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Boots N All Special 1.30 Rugby League 4.00 Powerboat: P1 World Championship

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Project Catwalk 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Best Of Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Las Vegas 1.00 Star Trek: Voyager

7.00pm The Panic Room.

See highlights 8.00 The Real Hustle Special 9.00 The Great Sperm Crisis 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 11.30 F*** Off I’m A Hairy Woman 12.25am The Real Hustle Special 1.25 The Great Sperm Crisis 2.20 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 3.20 The Great Sperm Crisis

7.00pm The Avengers 7.50 Diary Of A Nobody: Shorts 8.00 The World 8.30 Once A Soldier 9.00 The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 10.00 The Diary Of A Nobody 10.30 Never Mind The Full Stops 11.00 Ian Hislop’s Scouting For Boys 12.00am Once A Soldier 12.30 The Edwardians In Colour

2.35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 House Of Horrors 9.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 10.00 Generation Xcess 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am FILM: The Truth About Charlie (2001)

12.55pm Hannay 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Tales Of The Unexpected 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.00 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Quincy, ME 6.05 Tales Of The Unexpected 6.40 Movies Now 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Two Ronnies 9.00 Hack 10.00 The Commander 11.35 Lovejoy 12.40am Heartbeat 1.35 Brideshead Revisited

2.05pm Switched 2.35 Ed 3.35 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 ER 10.00 Sex In Court 10.30 FILM: The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994) 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Sex In Court 1.35 Porn: A Family Business (x2)

12.00pm Property Ladder 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Show Boat (1951) 6.00 3 Minute Wonder: Mouthing Off 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Grand Designs: Trade Secrets 10.35 Without A Trace 11.35 NYPD Blue

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Kath And Kim 8.30 Campus Ladies 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Boston Legal

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm The Thin Blue Line 3.40 One Foot In The Grave (x2) 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Keeping Up Appearances 7.40 Dinnerladies 8.20 One Foot In The Grave 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.05 TV Now And Then 10.45 Little Britain 11.20 The Catherine Tate Show (x2) 12.40am One Foot In The Grave

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.10 Sex And The City (x2)

12.00pm Mythbusters 1.00 Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 My Shocking Story 10.00 Deadliest Catch 11.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Teen Wolf Too (1987) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 10.00 Stephen King’s The Stand 11.00 Heroes 12.00am FILM: The Fifth Element (1997)

10.15am Tarantula (1955) 12.00pm Monsieur Verdoux (1947) 2.10 Chaplin Today: Monsieur Verdoux 2.50 North To Alaska (1960) 5.00 Classics Close Up 5.30 The Lady Eve (1941) 7.30 Tarantula (1955) 9.00 North To Alaska (1960) 11.05 O Lucky Man! (1973) 2.15am Monsieur Verdoux (1947)

12.00pm The Beat My Heart Skipped (2005) 2.00 Barton Fink (1991) 4.00 Le Bossu (1998) 6.10 Hail Columbia! (1982) 7.00 The Beat My Heart Skipped (2005) 9.00 Hard Eight (1997) 10.45 Bang (1994) 12.25am Le Bossu (1998) 2.40 Indie Close-Up 3.10 Hail Columbia! (1982)

1.00pm Tonight And Every Night (1944) 2.50 Cottage To Let (1941) 4.45 Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) 6.30 The Man Who Would Be King (1975) 9.00 Sleepy Hollow (1999) Jonny Depp stars in this quirky mystery of a headless horseman, 11.00 Movie Rush 11.05 The Sin Eater (2003) 1.05am CRAZY (2005)

9.05am The Adventures Of Quentin Durward (1955) 11.00 The Courtship Of Eddie’s Father (1963) 1.10pm On The Town (1949) 3.00 Kismet (1955) 5.20 North By Northwest (1959) 7.50 Bienvenue A Cannes 9.00 The Big Red One (1980) 11.10 Bienvenue A Cannes 12.20am The Last Voyage (1960)

Classics

Indie

056_LS321_TV_Fri

5/10/07

11:30 AM

Page 1

friday 18 Bingo! Your Number’s Up? BBC2, 7pm More people go to Bingo than Premier League football games, armed with markers, eagle eyes and as many lucky charms as they can shake a card at, ready to shout ‘House!’ However, them in the know reckon that when the smoking ban comes on 1 July around 180 clubs will close. Is the industry adapting? Find out.

Peep Show Channel 4, 10.30pm It’s crunch time now, as the day of Mark’s wedding arrives and he’s still having doubts. Acting like something out of a Jeeves and Wooster farce scene in his bid to save face and his bachelorhood, you can see the car crash coming a mile off.

Excruciating stuff but darn fine television.

Ripping Yarns BBC4, 9.30pm Michael Palin’s first post-Python solo project, the randomness and abstract comedy is still well and truly present. Each week a different tale is told in this series, tonight’s placing Palin at a public school where overnight he goes from downtrodden victim to official school bully, with some unusual perks.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 Raven 5.00 Gina’s Laughing Gear 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 The Maths Channel (x2) 10.50 Watch 11.05 Tales Of Europe 11.20 Primary Geography (x2) 11.40 Primary History: Saxons And Vikings 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.30 Animal Park 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Wexford 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Takeaway (x2) 10.30 Tricky Business Two 11.00 The Market 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket (x3) 7.00pm FA Cup Classics 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Test Cricket 12.00am Football League 1.30 FA Cup Classics 2.00 Test Cricket 4.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 A Question Of Sport It’s Ally McCoist’s final appearance as a captain. Surely not!

7.30 Inside Out Surprising real-life stories from where you live, with Kaddy Lee-Preston. But not necessarily your road.

8.00 EastEnders While Billy leaves the crash site to alert the emergency services, Phil must put old hostilities aside to salvage the situation. No more dunking the Beale, then.

8.30 My Family It’s the day before Roger and Abi’s wedding but, for this accident-prone couple, until the marriage is solemnised, anything can happen and probably will.

9.00 Have I Got News For You Team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, host Chris Tarrant and panellist Lembit Opik.

9.30 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse star in a sketch show.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross A mix of music and celebrity chat with Jonathan Ross.

11.35 FILM: Rambo: First Blood (1982) Starring Sylvester Stallone.

Fast-paced action adventure.

1.05am FILM: Harlequin (1980) Melodrama.

2.40 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads You must remember this, a quiz is just a quiz...

6.30 Great British Menu Fourteen of the nation’s top chefs compete to convince the French that we can match them in gastronomic prowess.

7.00 Bingo! Your Number’s Up? See highlights.

7.30 Bill Oddie Goes Wild Bill Oddie travels around Britain in search of wildlife. It’s everywhere!

8.00 Gardeners’ World Monty, Joe and Carol are joined at Berryfields by Sarah Raven for another indulgent hour of gardening.

9.00 Timewatch: The People’s Coronation Documentary. The coronation of Queen Elizabeth II on June 2, 1953 was the greatest spectacle ever staged in Britain. The people that remember it talk about it.

9.50 Robins Of Eden 10.00 Balderdash And Piffle Victoria Coren presents this series about words, inviting the public to make a vital contribution to the Oxford English Dictionary.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review .

11.35 Later...with Jools Holland Jools Holland introduces Patti Smith, the Cold War Kids, Joe Cocker, the Cribs, and Simply Red. 12.35am FILM: O (2001) Updated adaptation of Shakespeare’s Othello.

2.05 Star Trek (x2) 3.45 Malcolm In The Middle

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The villagers face up to the shocking aftermath of the trial and the pageant.

7.30 Coronation Street Leanne believes her cover is about to be blown. Claire thinks she’s finally got some peace - but danger looms over the Peacocks. Is it an alien spacecraft?

8.00 Teen Party Hell: Tonight In an exclusive interview, Fiona Foster talks with the mother of Rachel Bell, whose MySpace-advertised party resulted in £20,000 worth of damage to the family home, when hundreds of youngsters attended the bash.

8.30 Agatha Christie’s Marple When Gwenda Halliday moves in to the home of her dreams, she begins to have ghostly apparitions. Then it is discovered that Gwenda grew up in the house and the mystery becomes more sinister – and she and Miss Marple realise that an unsolved murder was committed there.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 It Shouldn’t Happen On A Reality TV Show Documentary combining clips and interviews, looking at the trials and tribulations of appearing on reality TV shows.

12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert The Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 What Makes Me Happy 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 Russell Grant’s Postcards 1.35 FILM: Custody Of The Heart (2000) 3.35 News 3.40 FILM: Danielle Steel’s Kaleidoscope (1990) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Belle begins to realise that Kelli isn’t as lovely as she looks. Who could be that lovely?

6.30 Joey Joey and Michael are worried that Gina may want to move into their apartment complex and take preventitive measures.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents the best of the action.

8.00 The Wolfman Fearless Shaun Ellis has been living with wolves for years; he feeds, sleeps and even thinks like them. Using behaviour learned from his pack, he now rehabilitates orphaned pups. Cool.

9.00 NCIS The body of a missing marine is found in a frozen lake along with the bullet-ridden corpses of three other people, all bearing the same gang’s tattoo. Ducky and Gibbs investigate the link between the gang and the dead marine.

10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When Lisa Ross is brought into the emergency room with severe cysts on her face, suspicion quickly turns to her husband, a well-known dentist. Visions of Marathon Man run through your mind at an alarming speed.

11.00 Prison Break Michael, Lincoln and Sara attempt to make contact with somebody who can be trusted with the recording.

12.00am Quiz Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks John Paul struggles with his feelings for Craig, who seems more concerned with winning back Sarah. Is it Arthur or Martha you want, Craigy-boy?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World Film-makers discover how president Mugabe’s regime uses AIDS medication and food aid to gerrymander the upcoming elections.

8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 9.00 Ugly Betty The Meades are being stalked by a writer who has got hold of Fey Sommer’s diaries. Both Wilhelmina and Alexis try to get their hands on the diaries. Daniel is having a hard time focusing on his work.

10.00 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat Psychological illusionist Derren Brown involves members of the public and celebrity guests in a version of the Hallowe’en game.

10.30 Peep Show See highlights.

11.10 Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights 11.40 Transmission With T-Mobile 12.45am 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: Cold War Kids 1.00 4 Music: 4Play: Ross Copperman 2.15 PartyPoker.com 3.15 KOTV 3.40 Trans World Sport 4.35 Grudge Match 4.45 Countdown 5.30 New Shoots

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 FA Cup Classics 8.30 Guinness Rugby Club 9.30 On The Edge 10.00 LIVE Golf Irish Open 1.00pm FA Cup Classics 1.30 Football League 3.00 LIVE Golf Irish Open 6.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 7.00 Rally World 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Super League 1.30 Moto + 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Football League 5.30 The Dogs

Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE Special 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Football League 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 On The Edge 1.00 The Poker Show 1.30 LIVE Sailing: America’s Cup 4.00 NBA Action 4.30 Gillette World Sport 5.00 Netball 7.00 LIVE Rugby Union 9.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 Rugby Union 3.30 Super League 5.00 Rally World 5.30 Moto +

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

9.00am Project Catwalk 10.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Best Of Stargate Atlantis 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 FILM: Dead Calm (1989) 10.45 Law And Order 11.45 Las Vegas 12.45am Star Trek: Voyager

7.00pm Castaway 8.00 The Scam Squad 8.30 EastEnders Feuds: The Beales Vs The Mitchells 9.15 Doctor Who 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 EastEnders Feuds: The Beales Vs The Mitchells 11.15 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.15am Family Guy (x2) 1.00 Sex... With Mum And Dad

7.50pm Diary Of A Nobody: Shorts 8.00 The World 8.30 The Cult Of... Adam Adamant Lives! 9.00 The 1970s Edwardian Reconstruction 9.30 Ripping Yarns. See highlight.s 10.00 The Duchess Of Duke Street 10.50 Wild, Wild Women 11.20 Marcus Brigstocke’s Trophy People

3.20pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 Airline USA 5.45 Judge Judy 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Airline 8.30 American Idol (x2) 10.30 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 11.30 Coronation Street 12.00am David Fincher’s Zodiac - The Making Of 12.30 Generation Xcess

12.55pm Hannay 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Is It Legal? 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.00 Cagney And Lacey 5.00 Quincy, ME 6.05 Is It Legal? 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 FILM: Another You (1991) 11.00 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 12.05am Lovejoy 1.10 The Jewel In The Crown 2.15 Ironside

1.00pm MItchell And Webb Through The Peephole 2.00 Switched 2.30 Ed 3.30 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 10.30 FILM: Striptease (1996) 12.45am Scrubs (x2)

12.00pm Property Ladder 1.05 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Flying Tigers (1942) 5.50 3 Minute Wonder: Mouthing Off 5.55 3 Minute Wonder: Second Lives (x2) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Without A Trace 10.00 The Closer 11.00 Egomania

1.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 Close To Home 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 Da Vinci’s Inquest

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.50pm Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Keeping Up Appearances 7.40 Dinnerladies 8.20 One Foot In The Grave 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.40 One Foot In The Grave 10.20 EuroMillions: Boom Bang A Bang 10.30 FILM: Blue Streak (1999) 12.25am Fawlty Towers

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Happy Tree Friends 10.30 Jackass 11.00 Dirty Sanchez 11.30 The World Stands Up 12.00am Jack Dee Live At The Apollo

12.00pm Mythbusters 1.00 Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 Time Team 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 10.00 Decoding Disaster 11.00 True Crime Scene 12.00am The FBI Files

7.00am La Femme Nikita 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Andromeda 12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Knightrider 2000 (1991) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Stephen King’s Storm Of The Century (x3) 3.00am ReGenesis 4.00 Profiler

2.20pm The Big Clock (1948) 4.20 Charlie: The Life And Art Of Charles Chaplin 6.35 Chaplin Today: Limelight 7.10 Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 9.00 Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 10.50 The Big Clock (1948) 12.30am Cape Fear (1962) 2.20 Drama Close-Up 2.50 Irma La Douce (1963)

12.00pm Mad Hot Ballroom 2.00 Lords Of Dogtown (2005) 4.00 The Last Metro (1980) 6.15 Mission To Mir (1997) 7.00 Mad Hot Ballroom 9.00 Lords Of Dogtown (2005) 10.50 OngBak (2004) 12.40am Mulholland Falls (1996) 2.35 Sci-Fi & Horror Close-Up 3.05 Mission To Mir (1997)

1.00pm The River’s Edge (1957) 2.50 Operation Amsterdam (1959) 5.00 The Woodlanders (1997) 7.00 The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) 9.00 Secrets And Lies (1995) 11.40 Once Upon A Time In America (1984) Robert De Niro and James Woods star in an epic tale of fine young boys growing into fine gangsters

11.00am Les Girls (1957) 1.05pm Take The High Ground (1953) 3.00 Kim (1950) 5.05 Cimarron (1960) 7.50 Bienvenue A Cannes 9.00 Blow-Up (1966) 11.10 Bienvenue A Cannes 12.20am The Last Run (1971) 2.00 Teleshopping 2.45 Mutiny On The Bounty (1935) 5.00 Seven Hills Of Rome (1958)

Classics

Indie

057_LS321_TV_Sat

5/10/07

6:02 PM

Page 1

saturday 19 Match Of The Day: FA Cup Final BBC1, 12.40pm So it’s finally come down to this.

Everybody’s favourite merchandising team Man U battling on the pitch against Carling Cup winners Chelsea.

The streets will be empty and the pubs will be packed as all eyes turn to the final clincher. Baggsy a comfy seat and get ready.

CSI:NY Five, 9.10pm New York turn up new unusual cases for the CSI boys and girls this week, as a woman is found dead in a bathtub not filled with water but instead with rose petals. Curious. However, water is very much in evidence in Stella’s case, as there’s a dead fella who fell face first into a fish tank.

How? Why? Other questions.

Doctor Who Confidential BBC3, 8pm Everyone who has ever hidden behind the sofa in trepidation as Doctor Who’s iconic theme tune heralded an onslaught of daleks, cybermen and confused cat nurses should take a peek at this.

With access to the show’s art department, spaceship tours and stunts, this is darn fine television for those of a geekier nature.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Take On The Takeaway 12.40 Match Of The Day Live: FA Cup Final. See highlights. 5.30 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5.50 Just For Laughs

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Arthur 7.35 Watch My Chops 8.00 Mona The Vampire 8.30 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.00 Hider In The House 10.00 Beat The Boss 10.30 Gina’s Laughing Gear 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm See Hear 12.30 Coast 12.40 Animal Park 1.40 FILM: Mrs Miniver (1942) 3.50 FILM: The Entertainer (1960) 5.30 FILM: Ice Station Zebra (1968)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.35 Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 9.50 Jungle Run 10.20 King Arthur’s Disasters 11.20 Drake And Josh 11.50 American Idol 1.50pm ITV News; Weather 2.00 Meridian News And Weather 2.05 Planet’s Funniest Animals 2.35 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Death On The Nile (1978) 5.15 Creature Comforts 5.25 Meridian News And Weather 5.40 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.55 The Very Best Of You’ve Been Framed!

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Musicool 9.55 Friends 10.25 Popworld 11.15 Friends (x2) 12.25pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 2.00 Channel 4 Racing From Newbury And Newmarket 4.20 Location, Location, Location 4.55 Deal Or No Deal Classic 5.40 Monarchy By David Starkey

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Football League 2.00 LIVE FA Cup Final 5.30 LIVE Football League 8.30 FA Cup Final 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 FA Cup Final 11.30 Football League 1.00am Spanish Football 2.30 FA Cup Final 3.00 Football League 4.30 FA Cup Final 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

7.50 The Culture Show Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips gives a rare masterclass in rock showmanship.

Plus, on the day Wembley hosts its first FA Cup Final, the Culture Show asks how good is this new stadium?

8.40 Porridge Fletcher decides that Harris must be put on trial for stealing from another prisoner. It’s not like they’re banged up with a load of criminals or anything.

9.10 Seven Ages Of Rock A journey through the history of rock music.

This episode tells the story of the rock revolution of the 1960s, as seen through the life and music of Jimi Hendrix. How did he become the first, ultimately doomed, icon of rock?

Certainly not with a correspondence course in rock martyrdom.

10.10 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Paul Merton and Ian Hislop continue to entertain in the extended version of the classic news quiz.

10.50 FILM: The Boys From Brazil (1978) Starring Gregory Peck, Laurence Olivier, James Mason, Lilli Palmer, Uta Hagen and Denholm Elliott. Disturbing thriller about the Nazi doctor Josef Mengele and his bid to propagate the Aryan race in modern-day Paraguay by cloning Hitler.

12.50am The Culture Show 1.40 Foreign Moon 3.10 Close

6.55 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon In the semi-final only Graeme, Michael and Andrea remain in the battle to become the 2007 Gameshow Marathon Champion. The competition starts to get fierce as the contestants attempt to play Bullseye.

8.00 Grease Is The Word: Live The search to find the West End’s next Danny and Sandy continues as the five remaining couples perform for your votes. At the end of the show, the two couples with the lowest votes will perform a Grease classic in front of the panel of judges which includes producer David Ian, impresario David Gest, choreographer Brian Friedman and pop sensation Sinitta. The pressure’s on.

9.30 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Chris Tarrant presents the gameshow in which ten contestants compete for a place in the hot seat to gain the chance to walk away with the top prize of one million pounds. (Insert evil laugh here).

10.30 Parkinson Guests tonight are Kingdom star Stephen Fry, singer George Michael and US comedienne Joan Rivers. Plus chart-topping band Scissor Sisters perform live.

11.35 ITV News; Weather 12.00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 3.50 Don’t Move, Improve (x2) 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.40 Channel 4 News 7.05 Battle For The Holy Land: Jerusalem 40 years after the Israeli capture of Jerusalem, former Liberal Democrat leader Lord Paddy Ashdown examines the many claims on one of the world’s most iconic cities. Sacred to three billion Jews, Christians and Muslims worldwide, Jerusalem’s status is key to the future of the Middle East.

9.10 FILM: Pitch Black (2000) Starring Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell.

A spaceship suffers mechanical failure and is forced to land on a foreign planet. Its passengers’ attempts to escape are hindered by underground mutants bent on a deadly feeding frenzy. Quality sharp teeth and things that make you jump. Boo! 11.10 FILM: Jason X (2001) Starring Lexa Doig, Kane Hodder. Sci-fi slasher in which a group of hapless students unwittingly re-animate the infamous knife-wielding serial killer Jason Voorhees who has been imprisoned in a cryogenic stasis chamber. Careless scientists, leaving that lying around.

12.50am 4Music Presents...

Maroon 5 1.25 FILM: Waking Life (2001) 3.15 FILM: A Ma Souer! (2002) 4.40 Strange Little Girls 5.00 3 Minute Wonder 5.05 Countdown 5.50 Inuk

6.00am Sunrise 6.55 The Milkshake!

Show 7.20 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.35 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 7.55 Say It With Noddy 8.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs (x2) 8.30 The Book Of Pooh 9.00 Ebb And Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi And The Flowertots 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Fifth Gear 11.00 Rattlesnakes Of The West: Austin Stevens Adventures 12.00pm FILM: Columbo (1973) 1.35 FILM: Casablanca (1942) 3.35 FILM: Jack London’s Call Of The Wild (2000) 5.25 FILM: Imaginary Crimes (1994) 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights from Lord’s of the third day’s play of the first Npower test match of the summer between England and the West Indies.

8.00 Five News And Sport 8.20 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. The discovery of three bodies stuffed into barrels shocks Ducky as he realises he knows who they are. The Houdini triplets?

9.10 CSI:NY New York-based spin-off of the crime drama series.

See highlights.

10.10 Law And Order Briscoe and Green investigate the murder of a successful stockbroker, who was conducting affairs with a mother and her daughter. After being interviewed, it seems that both women have a motive for the murder.

11.10 Grey’s Anatomy Izzie and George attend to Denny as the race is on to find him a heart. Cristina is in charge of the ER. Derek struggles with the idea that he has a friend’s life in his hands.

12.10am Grey’s Anatomy Richard interrogates Addison about a family member’s condition. Callie confronts George about his feelings for her.

Meredith and Derek meet about Doc. 1.10 Quiz Call I 5.35 Wildlife SOS

6.20 The People’s Quiz Jamie Theakston, Kate Garraway, Myleene Klass and William G Stewart continue their countrywide search for the UK’s best quizzer. Quiztastic!

7.15 Doctor Who As a spaceship hurtles towards the sun, the Doctor and Martha have just 42 minutes to save the day. Considerably less time than Flash Gordon had.

8.00 The National Lottery Draws The Thunderball, Dream Number and lotto draws, live from Lottery HQ. Where is that? Tracey Island?

8.10 Any Dream Will Do Graham Norton presents Andrew Lloyd Webber’s search for a new leading man for Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. Pretty boys.

9.10 Casualty Sam still hasn’t come home, so when a boy matching his description is trapped at a crash site, Tess and the rest of the team begin to panic. Don’t panic Captain Manwaring!

10.00 Any Dream Will Do One pretty boy discovers he’s not quite good enough to get his dream. Ah. 10.30 BBC News; Weather 10.50 Match Of The Day Highlights of today’s FA Cup final between Manchester United and Chelsea.

11.40 FILM: Iron Eagle (1985) Action adventure.

1.35am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.35 Joins BBC News 24

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 7.00pm LIVE Super League 9.30 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.30 Test Cricket 12.30am Rugby Union 2.30 Big Fight Special 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 FA Cup Final

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.00 Soccer AM’s All Sports Show 8.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Racing News 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm LIVE Tennis 2.00 LIVE Golf - Irish Open 6.00 WWE Smackdown 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 WWE Judgement Day Preview 10.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.30 WWE Smackdown 1.30am WWE Judgement Day Preview 2.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 NBA Basketball 5.00 Max Power

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis (x2) 2.00 Best Of Stargate Atlantis 3.00 Relic Hunter 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 6.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 Cold Case 9.00 Bones 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Football Years 12.00am 24 1.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.50 Born To Kill

7.00pm Radio 1’s One Big Weekend 8.00 Doctor Who Confidential. See highlights. 8.45 Top Gear 9.45 Little Britain 10.15 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 11.15 Radio 1’s One Big Weekend 12.45am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.45 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive

7.10pm Europe: A Natural History 8.00 Nation On Film Special 8.30 FILM: The Maltese Falcon (1941) 10.10 Jimi Hendrix 11.50 The Old Grey Whistle Test Story 12.30am Nation On Film Special 1.00 Edwardian Winners And Losers 2.00 Europe: A Natural History 2.50 The Old Grey Whistle Test Story

2.35pm Holiday Showdown 3.35 Holidays Undercover 4.35 Holiday Airport: Lanzarote 5.35 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 6.35 Smallville 7.35 Nanny 911 8.30 Filthy Homes From Hell 9.30 Greased Lightnin’: Results 10.30 FILM: Men In Black (1997) 12.25am Grease Is The Word 2.05 ITV Play: Make Your Play

8.50am Only When I Laugh (x2) 9.50 Rising Damp 10.20 Jeeves And Wooster (x2) 12.35pm FILM: Hamlet (1948) 3.30 Pie In The Sky 4.40 Jane Austen’s Emma 7.00 Inspector Morse 9.10 Taggart 11.55 The Vice 1.30am The Bill: Baby Trade 2.30 The Bill: Lies That Kill 3.20 Savage Planet 3.50 Film File

1.30pm Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 The Simple Life: Interns (x2) 6.55 Wife Swap 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x3) 12.00am Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll

9.00am Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo Challenge 9.30 Time Team (x3) Lots and lots of digging with Tony Robinson. 1.10 Grand Designs (x5) 6.25 Snowmail 6.30 FILM: The Indian Fighter (1955) 8.05 Time Team Special 9.10 Saddam’s Tribe 11.10 The Closer 12.10am Grand Designs

1.00pm So You Think You Can Dance 2.00 Will And Grace (x2) 3.00 America’s Next Top Model 4.00 FILM: My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) 6.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities 2 7.00 Canada’s Next Top Model 8.00 The X Files 9.00 Most Haunted 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.20pm Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em 2.00 My Family (x2) 3.20 Catherine Cookson’s The Man Who Cried 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em 7.40 Open All Hours 8.20 Fawlty Towers 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.20 FILM: The River Wild (1994) 12.30am I’m Alan Partridge

3.00pm King Of Queens (x2) 4.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 5.00 King Of Queens (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men 8.30 Rules Of Engagement 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 FILM: The Golden Child (1986) 11.45 Badly Dubbed Porn 12.15am Naked And Funny

8.00am How Do They Do It? (x2) 9.00 Time Team 10.00 The Worst Jobs In History 11.00 Tony Robinson’s Romans 12.00pm Mythbusters (x7) 7.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 8.00 Deadliest Catch (x3) 11.00 Minutes From Disaster 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Proof Positive 2.00 Forensic Detectives

3.55pm Psychic Detectives 4.25 Scariest Places On Earth 5.25 FILM: Landspeed (2001) 7.15 FILM: Thank Heaven (2001) 8.50 George Lucas In Love 9.00 FILM: The Fifth Element (1997) 11.30 Heroes 12.30am FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Jewel Of Emmanuelle (2000) 2.20 FILM: Phantom Force (2004)

12.05pm Pal Joey (1957) 2.05 West Side Story (1961) 4.35 The Glenn Miller Story (1953) 6.30 Guys And Dolls (1955) 9.00 Island In The Sky (1953) 10.55 The Unforgiven (1960) 1.00am The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean (1972) 3.10 The Kid (1921) 4.15 Pal Joey (1957)

12.00pm Napoleon Dynamite (2004) 2.00 Tube Tales (1999) 4.00 March Of The Penguins (2005) 5.30 Blue Planet 6.30 Indie Close-Up 7.00 Jules Et Jim (1961) 9.00 March Of The Penguins (2005) 10.25 Napoleon Dynamite (2004) 12.05am Tube Tales (1999) 2.00 Jules Et Jim (1961)

1.00pm The Left Hand Of God (1955) 2.50 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 5.00 The African Queen (1951) 7.10 The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain (1995) 9.00 Vera Drake (2004) 11.25 The Blair Witch Project (1999) 1.00am Southern Comfort (1981)

7.05am The Prime Minister (1941) 8.40 The Three Musketeers (1948) 11.00 High Sierra (1941) 12.50pm Hamlet (1969) 3.00 Friendly Persuasion (1956) 5.30 Ocean’s 11 (1960) 7.50 Bienvenue A Cannes 9.00 Taxi Driver (1976) 11.10 Bienvenue A Cannes 12.20am Savage Messiah (1972) 2.00 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie

058_LS321_TV_Sun

5/11/07

9:33 AM

Page 1

sunday 20 BAFTA TV Awards BBC1, 8pm The British Academy’s Film And Television Awards cover loads, but really we tune in for the unexpected moments – the acceptance speech that forgets to mention their brand new hubby and all the goss that’ll be hitting page 5 of the tabloids come Monday morning. As Shaw Taylor used to say: ‘keep ’em peeled’.

Wife Swap: The One That Hit The Headlines Channel 4, 8pm As the title suggests, this could be the one where you already have an inkling of what’s about to happen. Noelie, the doting partner of a millionaire, and Melissa, whose family have given up city life for an idyllic rural existance, swap places. And the police get involved. It’s that bad.

Generation Xcess ITV2, 10pm Making people who behave badly in the name of fun feel bad about it seems to be the object of the game here. With psychologists, doctors and therapists on hand to lend their opinions, a group of twentysomethings are played back a film of their behaviour over a typical weekend. Sinking sofas are their friends.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Sunday AM 10.00 Heaven And Earth With Gloria Hunniford 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 2.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

2.25 Murder, She Wrote 3.10 EastEnders 5.05 Points Of View 5.25 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Teletubbies 6.30 Balamory 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Legend Of The Dragon 7.30 Smile 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Inside Sport 12.30pm MotoGP 2.15 Motorcycling NW 200 4.00 The Great Manchester Run 5.30 Big Cat Diary: Family Histories

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Art Attack 9.45 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 10.00 Feodor 10.05 Pocoyo 10.15 Jim Jam And Sunny 10.30 Jim Jam And Sunny 10.45 Curious George 11.00 Jim Jam And Sunny 11.15 Jim Jam And Sunny 11.30 All Grown Up 12.00pm Planet Sketch 12.10 FILM: One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing (1976) 1.50 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Meridian News And Weather 2.00 My Big Fat Property Fortune 3.00 Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 4.30 Rosemary And Thyme 6.00 Tiger Island Chris Packham follows the day-to-day lives at the Isle Of Wight Tiger Sanctuary. Cos obviously there are loads of homeless tigers on the Isle Of Wight. Loads!

6.25 Meridian News And Weather 6.40 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale It’s Viv’s 50th but will Jamie’s birthday surprise backfire? Whaddya think? Emmerdale is not the land of the smooth sailor.

7.30 Coronation Street Leanne tries to reason with Liam about Paul’s dislike of her. Brothers, eh?

8.00 Heartbeat Younger discovers his career is on the line after a prisoner dies in police custody.

9.00 Kingdom Peter tries to help his latest client – a well-to-do lady who is desperate for a divorce as her husband has started cross-dressing.

No swappsies in the wardrobe then?

10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 This Is David Gest David and new girlfriend Malandra Burrows talk about their love for each other and reveal plans to have 28 children.

11.00 Real Families: Diary Of A Mother On The Edge Documentary about Henrietta Spink, the mother whose determination to find a better life for her two disabled sons.

12.00am Motorsport UK 12.30 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Trans World Sport 7.25 The British Premier League Tennis Tournament 8.20 New Shoots: Films From Disabled Directors 8.50 Popworld 9.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.15pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12.50 4Music Presents...

Maroon 5 1.20 Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll 2.20 Ugly Betty 3.20 FILM: Carry On Jack (1963) 5.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.45 Scrapheap Challenge

6.00am Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi 6.20 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Milkshake! 7.15 Sheepdog Tales 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Noddy 8.00 Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.30 Pooh 9.00 Ebb & Flo 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fifi 9.30 Jane & The Dragon 10.00 Property Developing Abroad 11.00 New Life In The Country 12.00pm Nice House, Shame About The Garden 12.30 Dream Holiday Home 12.45 Russell Grant’s Postcards 12.55 News 1.00 FILM: Wild Heritage (1958) 2.25 FILM: King Solomon’s Mines (1950) 4.20 FILM: That Darn Cat (1997) 6.00 Everybody Hates Chris Chris faces impeachment for failing to deliver on his campaign promises.

Rochelle’s brother moves in after being kicked out by his mother.

6.30 Everybody Hates Chris Julius tries to impress his successful younger brother Louis with the perfect Thanksgiving dinner.

7.00 Five News And Sport 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights of day four of the first npower test match of the summer.

8.00 Celebrities Without Slap Documentary looking at the worst side of celebrity photos, from Cameron Diaz’s spots and Christina Aguilera’s fake tan to the stars’ countless make-up mistakes. Not about hitting famous people. That’s a bad thing to do. Don’t do it.

9.00 FILM: White Chicks (2004) Starring Marlon Wayans, Jaime King and Shawn Wayans. Comedy following two disgraced FBI agents who are intent on catching a devious millionaire. In order to carry out their mission the pair disguise themselves as ignorant white socialites.

11.15 Disorderly Conduct US documentary series.

12.15am ITU Triathlon 1.00 Major League Baseball 4.20 Boxing USA 5.10 Major League Soccer

6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 9.00 Jimmy Hill’s Sunday Supplement 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 4.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.30 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Conference Football 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Big Fight Special 4.00 Close

6.00 Castaway Danny Wallace reveals the next castaway to be voted off. Well, he doesn’t reveal them, he just tells them.

6.35 RHS Chelsea Flower Show: Preview Alan Titchmarsh, Joe Swift and Carol Klein present an exclusive preview of the 85th RHS Chelsea Flower Show, including a first look at the show gardens and floral pavilions and the inspiration behind them. Got to smell blooming marvellous.

7.35 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 7.50 Regional News And Weather 8.00 BAFTA TV Awards See highlights.

10.00 BBC News; Weather 10.20 Medium Allison’s old flame Clay arrives at her door, unaware that he died moments earlier. As you do.

Accepting that he is dead and that this will foil his hopes for a reconciliation, he decides instead to live in her house thereafter. Cheery.

11.00 Seven Ages Of Rock A journey through the history of rock music. This episode tells the story of the rock revolution of the 1960s, as seen through the life and music of Jimi Hendrix.

12.00am FILM: Magic (1978) Chiller directed by Richard Attenborough.

1.50 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.50 Antiques Roadshow 3.40 To Buy Or Not To Buy 4.10 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Robins Of Eden A seasonal tale of how the Garden of Eden really was invaded not by a bad snake, but by a robin. No Batman though.

6.10 Natural World Documentary.

Pet doggies feel the call of the wild and so don’t always behave as their owners would like. Exploring the canine nature against nurture.

7.00 Cooking In The Danger Zone Food writer Stefan Gates embarks upon a culinary adventure around some of the most dangerous places in the world. Even more Dangerous than a Ramsay Kitchen Nightmare.

8.00 The Best Of Top Gear The best bits of the motoring programme.

9.00 Tribe Bruce Parry’s first stay is with the Nyangatom tribe whose warriors are feared by their neighbours. Parry wants to find out what they’ve done to deserve their fearsome reputation. Never heard the phrase ‘don’t poke the tiger’, Bruce?

10.00 Graham Norton Uncut Joan Collins and Jason Donovan are Graham’s guests.

10.45 Roman’s Empire Comedy series about Roman Pretty, a selfmade millionaire with three daughters. Laugh? We almost started.

11.15 FILM: Anywhere But Here (1999) Starring Susan Sarandon, Natalie Portman. Mother/daughter comedy drama.

1.05am FILM: G:MT - Greenwich Mean Time (1999)

6.45 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands Each tribe has to nominate two members to leave the island temporarily for an unknown destination, which turns out to be a mysterious third island known as No Man’s Land. Not quite so unknown.

7.45 Channel 4 News 8.00 Wife Swap: The One That Hit The Headlines See highlights.

9.00 Lenny Henry’s Perfect Night In Mini-series giving comedy’s favourite stars the chance to choose their ideal night of television.

Comedian Lenny Henry highlights the TV shows and films for his perfect night in, with a selection of diverse programming including Prime Suspect and Batman. Ka-pow! Splat! Ma’am!

11.10 FILM: High Anxiety (1977) Starring Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn, Cloris Leachman, Harvey Korman.

Spoof thriller about a psychiatrist with a fear of heights who takes a new post at the Institute For The Very Very Nervous, only to find that his colleagues are involved in some extremely shady dealings. The film lampoons Hitchcock classics including Psycho, The Birds and Vertigo.

12.50am 4Music Presents: Good Charlotte 1.25 Get Your Act Together 2.25 Battle For The Holy Land: Jerusalem 4.25 Antony Gormley: Making Space 5.25 Countdown

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Rally World 6.30 Test Cricket 8.30 Rugby Union 10.30 FA Cup Final 11.00 Big Fight Special 1.00pm LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters Series 2.00 LIVE European Rugby 5.00 Tennis: ATP Masters Series 7.00 Big Fight Special 9.00 Test Cricket 11.00 European Rugby 12.00am Sailing: America’s Cup 1.00 Test Cricket 3.00 European Rugby 4.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 8.00 WWE Special 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Heat 11.00 Seamaster Sailing 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm WWE Special 1.00 LIVE Golf: Irish Open 6.00 Seamaster Sailing 6.30 WWE Special 7.30 European Rugby 8.30 Golf Night 11.00 WWE Judgement Day Preview 11.30 WWE Heat 12.30am WWE Judgement Day Preview 1.00 Tennis 3.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Robot Wars: The Sixth Wars 1.00 Best Of Stargate Atlantis (x2) 3.00 So You Think You’re Royal?

4.00 Project Runway 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 Dream Team 9.00 24 10.00 Lost 11.00 Badger Or Bust 12.00am Deadwood 1.20 Best Of Angel

7.00pm Castaway Exposed 7.30 Radio 1’s One Big Weekend 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Lucy: Teen Transsexual 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Radio 1’s One Big Weekend 12.25am Gavin And Stacey 1.00 Two Pints Of Lager

7.00pm The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 8.00 Edwin Lutyens: Master Architect 9.00 Ian Hislop’s Scouting For Boys 10.00 The 1970s Edwardian Reconstruction 10.30 How To Be Edwardian 11.30 Ian Hislop’s Scouting For Boys 12.30am The Edwardians In Colour

1.30pm FILM: Men In Black (1997) 3.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 5.50 Vernon Kay’s Gameshow Marathon 7.00 American Idol 8.00 American Idol 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Generation Xcess. See highlights. 11.00 FILM: A Few Good Men (1992) 1.40am Coronation Street 2.10 Glitterball

12.45pm Foyle’s War 2.50 The Mystery Of Morse 3.55 Inspector Morse 6.00 Robin Of Sherwood 7.00 The Magnificent Seven 8.00 Cliff Richard - The Hits List 9.00 The Classical Brit Awards 2007 10.15 FILM: The Pianist (2002) 1.15am The Big Easy 2.15 Where The Heart Is 3.15 Savage Planet 3.40 Emmerdale

2.05pm Popworld 2.55 Shipwrecked 2007: Battle Of The Islands 4.00 Friends 4.30 Friends 5.00 One Tree Hill 6.00 What About Brian 6.55 Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 ER 10.00 Desperate Housewives 11.00 Skins 12.00am One Tree Hill 12.55 Coldplay: Live In Concert 1.55 Skins 2.55 Shipwrecked 2007

12.30pm Come Dine With Me (x5) 3.10 Time Team 4.10 FILM: The Kentuckian (1955) 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 The Real Dad’s Army 8.00 The West Wing 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Cutting Edge: Mind Your F-ing Language 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.10am Sex In The 80s

3.00pm FILM: City Slickers II: The Legend Of Curly’s Gold (1994) 5.10 The Fix 5.30 Will And Grace 6.00 The Bad Girls Club 7.00 Exposed: Britney Spears 8.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Most Haunted

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.20pm One Foot In The Grave 4.00 Open All Hours 4.40 Porridge 5.20 The Thin Blue Line 6.00 Only Fools And Horses 7.40 One Foot In The Grave 8.20 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 10.55 I’m Alan Partridge 11.35 Men Behaving Badly 12.15am Dalziel And Pascoe 2.05 Have I Got 2001 For You

10.00am Everybody Loves Raymond (x8) 2.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x8) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x6) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack Adventure 12.15am Badly Dubbed Porn 12.45 Naked And Funny 1.15 Sexy Cam 1.45 Ally McBeal 2.45 Naked And Funny

11.00am Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00pm Deadliest Catch (x8) 8.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Decoding Disaster 12.00am My Shocking Story 1.00 Kill Me If You Can 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch

12.00pm A Town Called Eureka (x4) 4.05 Scariest Places On Earth 5.10 FILM: Journey To The Centre Of The Earth (1993) 7.00 FILM: Magma: Volcanic Disaster () 8.50 George Lucas In Love 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Stephen King’s Nightmares And Dreamscapes 12.00am Stephen King’s The Stand

3.00pm The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957) 4.40 The Top 10 Show 5.00 Chaplin Today: Modern Times 5.40 The Disorderly Orderly (1964) 7.20 The Far Country (1955) 9.00 The Conqueror (1956) 10.55 Move Over, Darling (1963) 12.35am A Lovely Way To Die (1968)

12.00pm 36 (2004) 2.00 The Eighth Day (1996) 4.00 The Last Mitterand (2005) 6.00 Space Station 3D 7.00 36 (2004) 9.00 Pecker (1998) 10.30 Blue Velvet (1986) David Lynch’s disturbing cult film.

12.30am The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 3.05 Space Station 3D

1.00pm Pushover (1954) 2.40 Waterloo Road (1944) 4.00 Sailor Of The King (1953) 5.40 Siege At Red River (1954) 7.20 Carry On Abroad (1972) 9.00 Mean Machine (2001) 10.55 Infernal Affairs (2002) Hong Kong action thriller.

12.50am Never Die Alone (2004) 2.30 Notre Musique (2004)

1.00pm The Wheeler Dealers (1963) 3.00 Raintree County (1957) 6.00 To Have And Have Not (1944) 7.50 Bienvenue A Cannes 9.00 Pale Rider (1985) 11.10 Bienvenue A Cannes 12.20am Sitting Target (1972) 2.00 Teleshopping 2.45 They Died With Their Boots On (1942)

Classics

Indie

059_LS321_TV_Mon

5/11/07

9:35 AM

Page 1

monday 21 Passengers Under Attack: Tonight ITV1, 8pm Taking the last bus or train is never an uneventful journey. If it’s not alcopopped-up kids it’s nodding ravers ranting to themselves. And that’s before the aggro even starts. Quentin Wilson investigates the reality of violence and crime on public transport.

Cutting Edge: Meet The Au Pairs Channel 4, 9pm There’s been a huge rise in live-in childcare in the UK. Fact. This doc follows three families through the stages of finding a carer, examining cultural clashes and language barriers as problems in finding someone to raise the precious darlings. Oh, the world we live in.

The Phoenix And The Carpet BBC4, 8.30pm Phoenixes are tricky things.

Come from fire and go back to fire. This is something our young Edwardian heroes tend to forget, which could explain how they end up in a bit of a hot situation when they take their golden bird friend to the theatre. How do you explain that on your insurance form?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News And Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Doctors 2.35 Murder, She Wrote 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.25 Pitt And Kantrop 3.50 The Likeaballs 4.00 Prank Patrol 4.30 SMart 5.00 Beat The Boss 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am – 10.15 CBeebies 10.30 Pathways Of Belief: Sikhism (x2) 11.00 Hands Up! (x4) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Watch 1.15 Something Special 1.30 Animal Park 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2.00 Inspector Wexford 3.00 For The Rest Of Your Life 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me (x2) 9.00 Frasier 9.30 16 For A Day 11.00 Sex, Lies And Soaps 11.30 Teen Taboos 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Home Fronts 12.35 3 Minute Wonder: Made In India English & I 12.40 A Place Down Under (x2) 1.40 FILM: The Incident (1990) 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The New Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am European Rugby 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Spanish Football 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 How The 2007 FA Cup Was Won 9.00 Test Cricket 11.00 How The 2007 FA Cup Was Won 1.00am Test Cricket 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 How The 2007 FA Cup Was Won

6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh and Joe Swift present coverage from the 85th RHS Chelsea Flower Show. They explain why bees are the buzz word at Chelsea, while Doctor Who fans are in for a treat when the Tardis makes a special appearance. Woo-hoo!

8.00 EastEnders The Beales and the Mitchells draw a line under their feud. It’s a pretty line with fretwork.

8.30 Panorama 9.00 New Tricks The chance discovery of a camera and rolls of film hidden in a pub toilet leads the team to re-open the case of a young man murdered while working in a photography shop. The films contain some suspicious photographs and it seems possible that the motive for murder was linked to this.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10.35 Not Going Out Sitcom. Lee finds himself increasingly stressed out having volunteered to teach Kate to drive.

11.05 Inside Sport Gabby Logan introduces a weekly sports show.

11.45 FILM: James Dean (2001) Starring James Franco. Biopic.

1.20am Sign Zone: Superstorm 2.20 It’s Not Easy Being Green 2.50 Demolition 3.20 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.50 Joins BBC News 24

6.00 Eggheads Quizzing it up on a Monday.

6.30 Great British Menu The seven regional finalists return to cook their entire menus again for the panel of food aficionados, Prue Leith, Oliver Peyton and Matthew Fort.

7.00 York Minster Summer brings its challenges – there are funerals to arrange, floods to control, and the Archbishop of York drops by for a bit of karaoke. Will he pick Robbie’s ‘Angels’?

7.30 Search For Polar Bears Saba Douglas Hamilton travels to the frozen High Arctic in search of two female polar bears. Easier to get a handle on than a thawed-out High Arctic.

8.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Coverage of the RHS Chelsea Flower Show continues as Alan Titchmarsh and Joe Swift take an in-depth look at this year’s medal contenders.

9.00 Power To The People: Invasion Of Islington 10.00 Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry And Paul Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse star in a sketch show.

There’s a surprise. Not. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Rostropovich 12.10am Balderdash And Piffle 12.40 Joins BBC News 24 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Real Chinese 1-10 4.30 Ma France 1 5.30 Talk The Talk: Compilation

6.00am The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi And The Flowertots 6.25 Franny’s Feet 6.35 Bird Bath 6.45 Hi-5 7.20 Roary The Racing Car 7.30 Rupert Bear 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Say It With Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 What Makes Me Happy 8.50 Mio Mao 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha 11.30 News 12.00pm Home And Away 12.30 House 1.30 FILM: Jane Doe: Vanishing Act (2005) 3.20 News 3.30 FILM: Perry Mason: Scandalous Scoundrel (1987) 5.30 News 6.00 Home And Away Danger is lurking for Sam and Jack when an unexpected visitor arrives. Danger’s never far away in Summer Bay. 6.30 Joey A rival actor tricks Joey into missing several auditions. On the home front, Gina is delighted when Michael falls ill. Strange mother.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of day five of the first npower test match of the summer.

8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show.

9.00 Paul Merton In China Paul arrives in Beijing, the start of his own oriental ‘Grand Tour’. He tastes local cuisine at a ‘speciality’ restaurant, visits Tiananmen Square, and encounters a peasant who builds robots out of other people’s scrap.

Ingenious. How about a dolphin?

10.00 Prison Break Michael has a productive discussion with the President. Bellick and Sucre form an unlikely alliance when T-Bag makes a slip-up in Mexico.

11.00 FILM: Breakfast Of Champions (1999) Starring Bruce Willis, Albert Finney, Nick Nolte.

Comedy drama satirising the American dream.

1.05am NASCAR Nextel Cup 1.55 USPGA Golf 2.35 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 French Football - Le Championnat

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy’s furious with Jo when she oversteps the mark. He hadn’t even said ‘get set, go’.

7.30 Coronation Street As her feelings for Liam grow, Leanne starts to reconsider her career. Did the careers advisor not ask her where she saw herself in five years when she started?

8.00 Passengers Under Attack: Tonight See highlights.

8.30 Coronation Street Fiz drops a bombshell at her meeting with John.

Liam has a proposition for Leanne.

Michelle decides to surprise Steve at work. Surprises are always good in soaps. Proven.

9.00 Greatest Britons 2007 Kate Thornton presents a live event celebrating some of Britain’s most remarkable achievements in the past year. The top achievers from the worlds of film, fashion, music, sport, television, the arts, business and campaigning get recognised.

10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Monday Movie: Daylight (1996) Starring Sylvester Stallone. Disaster movie.

1.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 ITV Play: Glitterball 4.05 Everything Must Go 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Troy McClure stages a Hollywood comeback when he begins dating Selma.

6.30 Hollyoaks Steph is struggling to get her hands on her inheritance.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Home Fronts 8.00 Battle For The Holy Land: Love Thy Neighbour 40 years after the Israeli capture of Jerusalem during the Six-Day War, journalist Rod Liddle takes a journey through the West Bank and considers whether Israel should still be considered a part of the western club of democratic nations.

9.00 Cutting Edge: Meet The Au Pairs See highlights.

10.00 ER Kovac and Gates deal with the helpless father of a young man with heart failure, while Pratt attempts to bury the hatchet with his brother. Not in his back.

11.05 Desperate Virgins Doc exploring the pressures, expectations and emotions faced by three adults who have yet to experience sex.

12.05am Sex And The City 12.45 Sex And The City 1.15 Six Feet Under 2.20 Transmission With T-Mobile 3.20 Mama Lou 3.25 Unreported World 3.55 3 Minute Wonder: Made In India 4.00 Animated Tales Of The World (x5) 5.15 Victorian Scots (x3)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.30 European Rugby 1.30 Spanish Football 3.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.00 British Superbikes 7.30 LIVE Speedway: Elite League 9.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.30 Ocean 11.00 Speedway: Elite League 1.00am World Motor Sport 3.30 Wild Spirits 4.00 Ocean 4.30 Seamaster Sailing 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Golf Night 9.00 Sailing: America’s Cup 10.00 European Rugby 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Seamaster Sailing 12.30 Tennis 2.30 Golf Night 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 NBA Basketball 9.00 Wild Spirits 9.30 Seamaster Sailing 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Heat 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

10.00am Stargate SG-1 (x2) 12.00pm Best Of Angel 1.00 Law And Order 2.00 Cold Case 3.00 Las Vegas 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Project Runway 10.00 So You Think You’re Royal? 11.00 FILM: Dead Calm (1989) 12.45am Law And Order

7.00pm Castaway 7.30 Freaky Eaters 8.30 Dog Borstal Unleashed 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Coming Of Age 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Coming Of Age 12.30 The Real Hustle 1.00 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive

7.00pm The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 8.00 The World 8.30 The Phoenix And The Carpet.

See highlights. 9.00 Sickert v Sargent 10.00 Smiley’s People 11.00 Indian School 11.30 Sickert v Sargent 12.30am The Edwardians In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.10 Airline USA 5.40 Judge Judy 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.20 Grease Is The Word 9.00 FILM: A Few Good Men (1992) 11.45 Coronation Street (x2) 12.45am FILM: Along Came Polly (2004)

12.55pm Robin Of Sherwood 2.00 Never The Twain 2.30 Is It Legal? 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 Cagney And Lacey 5.05 Quincy, ME 6.05 Is It Legal? 6.40 Film File 6.50 Lovejoy 8.00 The Bill: Baby Trade 9.00 Law And Order: Trial By Jury 10.00 Cracker 11.05 Bad Girls 12.05am Lovejoy 1.10 Brideshead Revisited

12.00pm Nothing But...

Queens Of Pop 1.00 McFly Unzipped 2.00 Switched 2.30 Ed 3.30 The OC 4.30 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The War At Home 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Craft (1996) 11.00 Skins 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 FILM: The Craft (1996) 2.55 The War At Home

1.05pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER (x2) 4.00 FILM: Show Boat (1951) 6.00 3 Minute Wonder: Second Lives 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 FILM: True Stories: Capturing The Friedmans (2003) 12.10am NYPD Blue

2.00pm I Dream Of Jeannie (x2) 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The X Files 8.00 The Bad Girls Club 9.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Abbey And Janice: Beauty And The Best 2.00 Charmed

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Charlie’s Angels 1.00 My Family 1.40 Keeping Up Appearances 2.20 Open All Hours 3.00 Dalziel And Pascoe 5.00 Dallas 6.00 Charlie’s Angels 7.00 Sharpe 9.00 The Worst Week Of My Life (x2) 10.20 Only Fools And Horses 11.25 I’m Alan Partridge (x2) 12.45am The Worst Week Of My Life

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 That 70s Show (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 South Park 11.40 The World Stands Up 12.10am Edinburgh And Beyond

1.00pm Deadliest Catch 2.00 The FBI Files 3.00 Forensic Detectives 4.00 The World’s Toughest Tribes 5.00 How It’s Made (x2) 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Salvage Squad 12.00am The FBI Files

12.00pm Farscape 1.00 Star Trek 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 FILM: Journey To The Centre Of The Earth (1993) 5.00 Dark Angel 6.00 The Lost World 7.00 Roswell 8.00 Dark Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 Heroes 11.00 FILM: The Thirteenth Floor (1999) 12.55am FILM: Donnie Darko (2002) 3.00 ReGenesis 4.00 Profiler

12.55pm I Was A Male War Bride (1949) 2.55 12 Angry Men (1957) 4.50 The Palm Beach Story (1942) 6.30 Classics Close-Up 7.00 The Lost Weekend (1945) 9.00 Three Faces West (1940) 10.25 Steptoe And Son (1972) 12.10am The Comedy Of Terrors (1964) 1.45 The Palm Beach Story (1942)

12.00pm Barton Fink (1991) 2.00 Rice Rhapsody (2004) 4.00 Ballets Russes (2005) 6.10 Mountain Gorilla (1992) 6.55 Don’t Move (2004) 9.00 Barton Fink (1991) 11.00 Bang (1994) 12.40am Don’t Move (2004) 2.45 Indie Close-Up 3.15 Mountain Gorilla (1992)

1.00pm The Kidnappers (1953) 2.55 You’ll Never Get Rich (1941) 4.35 The Train (1964) 7.20 The Hound Of The Baskervilles (1959) 9.00 Patriot Games (1992) 11.10 Infernal Affairs 2 (2003) 1.25am The Player (1992) Dark send up of the Hollywood way starring Tim Robbins

9.05am Green Mansions (1959) 11.00 Rhapsody (1954) 1.05pm Welcome To Hard Times (1967) 3.00 The Glass Bottom Boat (1966) 5.05 Gigi (1958) 7.10 Key Largo (1948) 9.00 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 10.55 Brewster McCloud (1970) 12.50am From The Earth To The Moon (1958) 2.40 Teleshopping

Classics

Indie