Getting Though the Hard Times: Queer Friendly Mental Wellbeing Resource for South Asian Communities

GETTING THROUGH THE HARD TIMES A QUEER FRIENDLY MENTAL WELLBEINGÂ RESOURCE FOR SOUTH ASIAN COMMUNITIES

Everybody who has a brain needs to consider their mental wellbeing. Â Â We need good mental wellbeing to tackle challenges in our lives and to perform well in school, social life, and work.

Holistic approach to mind, body, and spirit  Â

Unresolved stress or emotional issues can affect our body, spirit and the way we lead our lives.

Everybody sometimes needs support and help with gaining perspective when dealing with life challenges.

Just like you can have good physical wellbeing whether you have a physical illness or not.

You can have good mental wellbeing whether you have a mental illness or not.

Maintaining mental wellbeing is an ongoing process and there are many safer ways to cope with life stressors.

Find the one or a combination that is right for you!

Here are some options:

Ways To Handle Stress MIndful meditation Spending time with people Treat yourself with something you like Exercise Journaling Do something new Outdoor activity Talk to someone you trust Healthy diet

Life is hard and one cannot be happy all the time, so instead focus on your personal beliefs and stay true to yourself.

Remember that this is a journey and there are many resources to help you along this path.

At times, life can get too overwhelming, and you or someone you know may need immediate help or support. ***Please note that in situations where you think you will harm yourself or others or know someone who will harm themselves or others, please call 911 or your emergency number.

What to do when you are in crisis?

Call a distress line – there are several distress lines available 24/7 for support and non-judgemental listening. *For numbers check our resource section.

Call friends/family/therapist – reaching out to trusted people can help you find support and an alternative perspective on situations. This may strengthen relationships allowing others to reach out to you if need be.

Think of Small Steps - list specific actions that you can do in the next few minutes, hours, or days to improve the situation. These could be as simple as calling a friend or taking deep breaths.

Give it time - Before making big decisions, give yourself some time to think about it. Unseen answers, solutions and opportunities could pop up any given time.

What to do when someone is in crisis?

Be present – sometimes it is hard to find the right words to say to a friend in need, but just being there to listen or just being physically present can greatly help to remind them that someone cares.

Create care collectives – it may be difficult for just one person to take full responsibility in caring for another. It may be easier to set up care collectives, where several people set aside time to check up on or help a friend in need.

Be familiar with accessible resources – it helps to familiarise yourself with available community resources for yourself and your friends.

A word on therapists, counsellors, etc.

They might not have all the answers; however, they can help you explore different options and alternatives by offering a listening ear and introducing useful coping skills.

Counsellor, Psychiatrist or Therapist: What is the difference?

Counsellor: A person who gives advice for career, relationships, school and other issues. Your school academic advisor is a counsellor if you need help with grades. Similarly, your therapist is a counsellor in regards to thoughts and behaviours.

Therapist: Any person who specializes in healing, recovery or treatment of physical and/or mental issues. Just like you can have a physiotherapist for your muscle recovery, you can have a psychotherapist for your mind.

Psychotherapist: They deal with minds and behaviours. Psychotherapists help explore beliefs and thought patterns to help develop coping strategies and help find solutions to issues.

Psychiatrist: They deal with mental health and can prescribe medications since they are a doctor. Need medications for depression, anxiety, etc? They got you covered.

Choosing One

Choosing a therapist is like choosing a shirt that fits you. One that works for you, may not work for another. Selecting a therapist is a process, and you must do a bit of research to find the right fit: 1. Have a goal What do you want to work on today? Do you want to work on school? Do you want to work on exploring your sexuality, or your relationships? Have a goal in mind, and select a therapist based on their specialty.

2. You should feel comfortable with them Can you trust your therapist? Are they maintaining confidentiality? Do they seem open-minded and non-judgemental? Do they have lived experience or an understanding of your issues? It is important to have a therapist whom you feel comfortable with, and who is willing to hear you out with patience and understanding.

3. Are they licensed or registered to practice?

What are their treatment modalities and do they work for you?

Talk therapy: This kind of therapy entails talking about issues, learning coping skills, problem solving, emotional regulation, and thinking of different ways about problems. Examples include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectic Behavioural Therapy, Family/ Relationship counselling etc.

Art therapy: Arts-based therapy can help you express yourself and manage emotions through the arts. Examples include art therapy and play therapy.

Alternative medicines: Therapies such as acupuncture, acupressure, reiki, aromatherapy, ayurveda, homeopathy, chiropractic, naturopathy, etc.

Great Resources 6 degrees healing centre:Â An integrative healing centre focusing on counselling, martial arts, naturopathy, body work etc. sixdegreeshealth.ca Across Boundaries:Â Ethnocultural mental health services with ESL classes, acupuncture, and alternative to western therapy modalities.

Acrossboundaries.ca

Do you speak your language?

Many people find it easier to express themselves in their own language.

It is possible to find a therapist that speaks the same language as you.

Psychology today is a good resource for finding counsellors who are South Asian, LGBT friendly and can be filtered by area, language, and treatment modality. therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms

Costs & Fees Usually the first appointments with counsellors are free. It is an opportunity for you to see if you are a good match. You are not obligated to stick to one. Often people switch therapists based on what area of their life they need to work on.

Costs of a therapist ranges from $35-$200 per session, done at a regularity of your choice – weekly, monthly, once.

You can ask a therapist for sliding scales (lower prices) based on your income. Some independent insurances and schools cover counselling services as well.Â

Free LGBT Counselling Egale Youth Outreach - egale.ca/outreach ReachOUT at Griffin Centre – griffincentre.org Towel Talk - actoronto.org/programs-services/counselling Sherbourne Health Centre - sherbourne.on.ca/counselling-services Rainbow Services at CAMH - www.camh.ca CTYS (Central Toronto Youth Services) – ctys.org Skylark - www.skylarkyouth.org

Community Support Groups Dosti – A social support group for South Asian guys who like guys. dosti.ca Facebook: Dosti Asaap Lassi – A social support group for South Asian guys who like guys (ages 16-29). Facebook: Lassi Asaap Salaam Canada - Support space for LGBT Muslims. salaamgroup.to@gmail.com, salaamcanada.org Queer Ismailies - Support space for Shia Ismaili LGBT Muslims. thequeerismaili.wordpress.com A Colour Deep - An online space for queer South Asians. www.acolourdeep.ca

Community Support Groups Facebook groups - Queer South Asians and Khush - a South Asian Queer, Questioning and LGBT Space.

United Churches – LGBT positive churches. united-church.ca Express - Weekly program for LGBTQ+, newcomer, immigrant and refugee youth ages 29 and under. soytoronto.org SPUNK! - Support group for gay/bi/queer and trans men who want to make positive changes regarding drug use, in harm reduction or abstinence. www.actoronto.org/spunk

Activities & Meetups Meetup.com – A great website to meet like-minded individuals with shared interests.

Outsport Toronto – LGBT Sports Groups. outsporttoronto.org/organisations Outandout Toronto – North America’s largest LGBTQ activities club. outandout.ca Meditation apps (more on app stores/youtube) www.stopbreathethink.org Headspace – A digital service that provides guided meditation sessions and mindfulness training. Its content can be accessed online, or via their mobile apps. headspace.com Ourspace - A Toronto-based collective of youth leaders who create innovative spaces for young guys who like guys to come together, learn from each other, discuss social issues, and have fun. www.thisisourspace.ca

Emergency Housing Sprott House - 21 Walmer Rd, Toronto, ON M5S 1X6, 647-438-8383, ymcagta.org/youth-programs/youth-housing Central Intake – City of Toronto Emergency Shelters, 416-338-4766 Cooperative Housing Federation of Toronto - co-ophousingtoronto.coop Covenant House Toronto – Canada’s largest homeless youth agency. covenanthousetoronto.ca

‘South Asian’ refers to people of South Asian heritage including IndoCaribbean, Indo-European, Indo-African heritage, and South Asian diaspora in Fiji, Maldives and Mauritius. South Asia includes but is not limited to Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Bhutan, India, Myanmar, Nepal, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Tibet.

Cover: Jasmine Persaud Illustrator: Hana Shafi aka The Frizz Kid Content Compilation: Robbie Ahmed Design: Shikhar Dayal Special thanks to the Prevention and Education team at ASAAP, Family Health Coordinator Jaspreet Soor, ASAAP’s Men’s Advisory Committee as well as the wonderful youth who helped create this project. **The list of resources and groups may change. For updated information consult www.asaap.ca, www.dosti.ca www.snehithan.ca