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Spring 2010

Average has never been so awesome

Bromances: GET IT STRAIGHT CREATE A PERFECT HAVEN FOR YOUR FISH

Teachers, Students, and

Harry

Potter VS Twilig ht


Letter From the Editors:

Dear readers, Welcome to Average

Magazine! This is a magazine for teens written by teens. Our stories are unique, interesting, and not at all average! Our magazine’s mission is to make all teens and “Tweens” realize that nobody is average.. Everyone has something they’re passionate about or some great quality that’s hard to find in just anybody. Our title is a display of irony, because nothing in our magazine is average! Our magazine covers a big range of topics, so any teen should be able to find an article in this magazine that appeals to them. We cover topics like transitions from middle to high school, teen media, and bromances! We

hope you find something you enjoy!

Happy reading! The editors Luisa V. Lily C. Shreya K.


Biographies

s in gras b, f o h u patc large gr l l a r r m n a s y a rathe no longe ed o n r b ld ov bo was as raised rub cou e, she m ada. . V g a Luis d. She w arge the t this tim hern Can e r l t ’s ya rew so of dirt. A in Nor r, and sh , y l i L k she g ir clean l roc t suit he . For fun al l l i a t n m o a u er h ub to a s er did n ly’s yard elong go 00 h k i r ,0 th lic lif her g this wea ack in L t is her ,000,000 ,0 h t i I b 0 w , 0 ever herself of sand. ,000,00 0,000,00 ,00 w o d 0 0 s H 0 foun 0,00 0,00 00,0 . grain soon counts of 10,00 00,000,0 ,000,000 sixteen s a e 0 0 Luis ate a pil 00,000, ,000,00 she turn ntil she U 0 0 e l e to cr 00,000, ,000,00 the tim ght now. uisa wil 0 0 y i , L g ,000 0,000,00 grains b rownie r elons, stlin i h m w 0 b 00,0 ,000,000 y use a re water g dwarf l a 0 l n 0,00 ould rea row squ g teachi ations. g t n c She how to ke a livi ana plan s a n learn ue to m e off ba n v i i cont gies to l i prod

n I was bor ., K a y e r Sh ers of the y name is t a m , w h d a e h r a c y Hi to him, ff the sa o y a g r n p i I v i l d , n lah a in India urry four hip Paulc s r t o a e w I I . . y s ryda r Gange ishna, eve rk at the call cente r K f o d r wo the lo orning. I le I work p m o y e r p e l v l e e t ut I times st kidding ombay, b u j B , n d r n e a h t b r s hu in no o with my r I will die alone g A A C i h in C sband, fo u h a arranged e y v a m h e t t ’ i n p s o Id n for ts, de ions of ca me cannot be show y l l i m h t i w m na hard that to…*this o e s g h a i g r r u a a l m can’t stop fety* I I a s n s e ’ h n t o d s r n ry, a this pe to my cur am old enough to n i s l l a f n il I turba t wait unt t, for that is how I ’ n a c I . g han cryin own elep y m e s a h purc in India. d n u o r a t would ge

(POP ) your Lily C., t h M you i IND!!! S e dirty dir f t h spare you don’t e’s a wiz just appa ar ra t b ry Po ime lovin elieve he d. And sh ted into g her r. Lil tter a e’ll c y n u have c recen d fighting ut-out bo spends he rse y t LAS A to ly infeste off the de friend of r h m d H likes e to ha lp disguis her room. entors tha arn t e her gettin Desp g out a i g ately into viol around he s a mugg te using le e t r to jum rying to g nt battles muggle f , she e ri w Azka p fences d t Asian st ith them, ends, at b d u steal an three t ring lunc us and att esperimes h. Sh her c empt a in e fo ing b roma tchphrase r torturin has been g s. n t g dark Frida ces and ra She also people th o y v the m a li embe night and ing with V kes obser t v rs of o d Dum rinking b ldemort o bledo u re’s a tterbeer w n a rmy. ith


Average | Contents

Famous People

Average People

5W  hats Happening to our Celebrity babies 7 Harry Potter Or Twilight 11 H  arry Potter Through the Ages 13 Is it Love? 15 Which Harry Potter Character are You?

17 Average  boy-Average Title. Paul Smith* 19 T  he Romance of the Bromance 23 T  he Best Fish for Your Fist Tank

Regular People 25 E  volving into LASA Raptors 27 Become the Sexiest Man Alive 28 How to Get a Girl to Like You 29 T  eachers and Students: Online Friends? 31 The Playground


Famous People People Magazine

What’s Happening to Our Celebrity Babies? Bestowing baby names like “Dweezil” is become the norm for celebrities. But are the really doing it for the best of their children?

BY: LUISA V. oxie CrimeFighter, Fifi Trixibelle, and Pilot Inspektor. No, these aren’t the names of badly animated cartoon characters in a poorly rated children’s show. No, these aren’t ice cream flavors and Ben & Jerry’s,

David B enett

M

Jason Lee and Pilot Inspektor

Apple Martin and Gwenyth Paltrow

or names for the hip new dolls all the preschoolers are playing with. These are the names of real-live people. More specifically, the names we Americans obsess over: celebrity babies. People have always been obsessed with the children of celebrities, scooping up magazines before they have time to cool on the shelves from the sweaty hands of the deliverers. Most popular of which seem to be the ones emblazed with something along the lines of “IT’S A BOY. OBAMAS NAME HIM SNOOPY LIME-

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Average Magazine |Spring 2010

PEEL.” Hollywood is suffering from what I would like to call RNS, or Ridiculous Name Syndrome. In recent times, celebrities have departed from the traditional “Emily” and “Joshua” and adventured into more unfamiliar territories with names such as “Kenzo” and “Kal-El.” Why do these celebrities feel their children need names that are . . . more special than the average John and Mary? Are their children not special enough already, being the children of celebrities? Since babies with weird names get more publicity, it seems celebrities feel inclined to bestow ridiculous names on their unfortunate children, just to get themselves more publicity. Some people might say that celebrities are talented artists, and naming their children something “special” is just their creativity coming out and taking over. Celebrity super-fans are eager to jump out to defend their favorite celebrity, and their encouragement is the main cause of the continuing RNS epidemic. But if celebrities are so creative when it comes to baby naming, then why do they give names straight out of Miriam-Webster? “Audio Science,” Shannyn Sossamon’s son, and “Banjo Patrick,” Rachel Grifiths’s son, are sad examples of RNS. In “Why Celebrities Name Babies Moxie, Moses, and Apple,” an article that appeared in the New York Times in 2006, psychologists claim people subconsciously name their babies after something they obsess over. Does this mean Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are obsessed with . . . apples? What psychologists may mean when they make this claim (which does not, by the way, apply to everyone) is that celebrities take the opportunity of naming a child to express their own opinions and beliefs. Thus, they are using their child’s identity to let the world know what they believe. You see a problem with this? When a parent like Jermaine Jackson names a child


Famous People

iVillage

“Jermajesty” they are basically claiming their child is superior to all. Hello? Conceited much? What’ll the kids on the playground say when a kid introduces themselves as “Your Majesty?” Let them have a turn on the swing? Not likely. Susan Fischoff, a psychologist who has worked with Hollywood clients, said in The New York Times that “[RNS afflicted celebrities are] expressing their creativity, and they’re also expressing their fear. It would be very embarrassing for people to think of them as normal.” It is now the norm to give a famous baby a super special name. Any celebrity who doesn’t conform is going against what society expects from them. Who would want to pick up a magazine with a screaming headline announcing “JANE IS BORN”? Average people themselves are succumbing to this atrocious trend. In 1955, twenty-three percent of boys had the top ten names. In 2007, only nine percent of boys were named Aiden, Ethan, Jacob, Jayden, Caden, Noah, Jackson, Jack, Logan, or Matthew, the top ten boys’ names of 2007. Since fewer children are given popular names, new names are being created, some even drifting dangerously towards the border of ridiculousness. Now that celebrities are giving out unusual names, people are eager to display their trendiness by giving their kids celebrity babyworthy names. No names can meet up with the standards of the celebrities, however. Now that average people are following in the name-crazy footsteps of their idols, more pressure is placed upon the shoulders of the rich and famous. In the same New York Times article, Pamela Satran, a baby name book author, perfectly sums up the unspoken pressure put on expecting celebrities by comparing baby naming with anorexia. She says, “It’s like anorexia. Anyone can be thin. The famous have to be thinner.” She uses this metaphor to demonstrate that, sure, average people can give crazy cool names. Celebrities just have to give crazier, cooler ones. Baby name trends rise and fall consistently with the names of celebrities. Ryder was the 901st most popular boys’ name in 2001, but after Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson gave their son that name in 2004, the name shot up in popularity to number 341. Before Obama was running for president, the name Barack was number 12,535. During the presidential race, however, the name jumped up almost 10,000 spots to 2,409th. If celebrities have such massive in

Kal-El and Nicolas Cage fluence over the baby-naming of the rest of the world, what will happen when horrid celebrity names like “Dweezil” hit the top thousand? Celebrity influence can be a terrorizing thing. When naming their child something like “Eugenie,”

(Sarah Furguson and Prince Andrew) celebrities are perfectly aware their fans will jump onto the bandwagon and begin christening their children as Eugenies. Wouldn’t you feel honored if someone named a baby after you? That’s right. That’s exactly what these celebrities are doing with their incredulous names. You are a celebrity. You name a child “Moon Unit.” A hundred other people name their child Moon Unit. You feel special. Out of all the cringe-inducing celebrity baby names out there, my personal favorite is Pilot Inspektor. What was Jason Lee thinking when he pulled two word straight out of the dictionary, misspelled one of them, and slapped them on a birth certificate? Is he obsessed with Pilots. . .and misspelled inspectors? Did he just feel increased pressure to give his child an extremely unique name? Or did he think people would follow in his footsteps and his son’s name would break the top thousand, guaranteeing him more fame? Whichever reason, the number of RNS cases is increasing across the globe, and the only way to stop it is if we average people resist conformity and stop the ridiculousness of it all. Here’s to you, John and Mary.

“It’s like

anorexia.

Anyone can be thin. Celebrities have to be thinner”

Average Magazine | Spring 2010

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ter some izard t o P e lw y w r a r Ha arse autifu be Kick

n ire e l p l Cu Vam d r a sexy w d E per Su

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ts u h n s wa ver h S t a e l Bel who n r mou he Girl


r e t t o P y r r a H r -o ? t h g i l i w T By: Shreya K.

H

arry Potter and Twilight are the two most popular books in this decade for young adults. Harry Potter is an intricate series, it has a complex but fun plot that, grabs your attention from book one. My friend Lily a self proclaimed Harry Potter fanatic says, “Once you start reading Harry Potter you can’t stop, and you have to fight with Harry till the end because Voldemort isn’t stopping, Voldemort will fight till the very end, and Voldemort won’t stop until Harry Potter is dead, but you can’t let that happen! You have to stay and fight until the very end! You need to turn each page like it’s the last! You need to live with Harry until the battle has been won. And Harry will win the battle. Harry Potter is the boy who lived.” This quote explains how Harry Potter is a book where you need to be with Harry Potter through out the whole series. . Twilight isn’t like this it is a series where you can’t relate to either Bella or Edward and you know what is going to happen. Even if Edward breaks up with Bella you always know that they will get back together. You know this because the author uses foreshadowing to the point where you can guess what happens next. Also Twilight is a romance novel that gives girl’s false impressions on true love. Harry Potter in general was a much better than Twilight. Also Harry Potter was an entertaining book written for all ages and genders Action and romance are two major themes or components that are used in a lot of books. This is what you get in Harry Potter, action with just enough romance. In Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince Ron says, “I love you, Hermione,” and

Average Magazine | Spring 2010

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Famous People

s

ri e t t Po

r? e t t Be

and it made sense if she wrote 7 well rated books in 15 years. Stephanie Meyer wrote 4 books in 3 years, there isn’t anything bad. In my opinion she should have spent more time on them and made them better and more entertaining. Harry Potter in general was a much better than Twilight, it was easy to read and understand, it was a book written for all ages and genders. In Harry Potter, the characters are well thought out, consistent and yet entertaining. But in Twilight it feels like the in Harry Potauthor throws the characters around she changes their perter and the Goblet of sonality, and overall character and it’s really hard to keep up Fire Hermione yells at Ron with them. Also in Harry Potter, they have a personality that “Just because its taken you three you can relate to like Harry Potter being brave, Ron Weasley years to notice, Ron, doesn’t mean no one as a good friend, Hermione Granger the smart one, Luna else has spotted I’m a girl.” Lovegood the insane but calm one. Those are only some of This shows the weird emotions girls get when guys the characters but they all have a personality everyone can say those kind of things Screen shot from “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” relate to on different to them but right ager levels and not a lot this scent Harry Potter of people can relate and his friends are back to a sparkly, pale, in action. Meanwhile overprotective vamin Twilight, all Edward pire which is what and Bella do every Twilight is about. scene is kiss or tells Twilight is a roeach other “I love you.” mance novel that a I really do appreciate lot of girls can relate romantic books but to the overall story Twilight is a sappy love line about a girl story that ruins the idea falling in love with of a ‘romantic novel.’ I a cute guy and he say this because even leaves her and how though they aren’t she felt and there “straight out” expressare a lot of girls ing their love for each that feel that way so other you can hear it in Twilight would be a every line they express relatable book to an their love for each extenent. While in other, “And you accuse Harry Potter there me of dazzling people.” Robert Pattinson, the actor who plays Edward in Twilight, als is nothing that you In this line Edward Cul- played the role of Cedric Diggory in “Harry Potter and the Goblet can relate to its just of Fire” len is talking to Bella complete fantasy Swan and when reading this line among may other its starts book that makes you hope you get your letter for Hogwarts. to annoy you because they are talking about the same thing But Twilight is known to be bad for a girls love life for a long time and it gets redundant and boring. because when girls are dating a guy and they are obsessed JK Rowling spent 15 years developing her thoughts with Twilight they look for guys that are just like Edward and the plot, while Stephanie Meyer took 3 years, that and to be truthful, Edward isn’t real he doesn’t have a real doesn’t mean that all series written quickly are bad but Twipersonality, he is a dream that can never come true. Some light was an exception to that. The book had terrible gramgirls don’t realize that and because of Twilight they way they mar and the plot wasn’t well thought out, and when you read think about guys have changed. Since they are waiting for a the books it sounds like she was rushed through writing guy that will never come around it ruins their love life which the book or something similar to that. When JK Rowling for most people is a big deal. took about 15 years to write 7 books, that might seem like JK Rowling’s writing is very captivating; it grips you a long time but the books were amazing and well written. like a hook and makes you read like there’s no tomorrow. On On average to develop a well thought out it takes at least 1 the other side, Stephanie Meyer repeated the little lines and 1/2 to 3 years. So JK Rowling took all the time she needed scenes in her story over and over again and it got really bor-

t r a t s H u ’t y o n y Wh a e c c u n “O ing yo d a e r ” p o st arry

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Average Magazine | Spring 2010


Famous People ing. How she wouldn’t let go of Victoria, the evil vampire that was set out to killing Bella for revenge. She was in 3 out of the 4 books and all the books talked about the same thing, which was trying to kill her. In Twilight Victoria was new and interesting. After the first half in the second book, New Moon, it sounded like Meyer was just writing for the sake of writing, not for entertaining. Harry Potter was interesting and every book had a complicated twist, which related to the same topic, which was trying to get rid of Voldemort. To read the book you really needed to understand the whole series, beginning to end, and you would’ve had to be really interested in the book to have read all 7 of them. According to Wall Street Journal, Twilight dominated, it was top on the charts, and it took over Harry Potter for quite a while. Then when Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, the movie, came out 4 months before New Moon. This affected Harry Potter in a positive way and Twilight, negatively because the hype for the sixth Harry Potter movie was bigger than ever. It took at least 6 months for the excitement to die down and before the excitement died down New Moon came out, and it wasn’t as big on the box

office as Harry Potter because the books made a comeback and since Harry Potter has been around a lot longer than Twilight it definitely had a lot more fans. The people that liked both, Harry Potter and Twilight, were on the Harry Potter side, when the Half Blood Prince came out because it resurfaced right before Twilight. It would’ve have been the opposite if Twilight came out before but it didn’t, which is the reason why Harry Potter currently has a lot more fans than Twilight does. Harry Potter was a mind boggling book. It was amazingly written and well thought out and it was definitely better than Twilight, because more people could relate to Harry Potter; according to many fans the books are a lot more interesting. Also Harry Potter appeals to a wider audience and therefore it has more fans that are able to prove that Harry Potter was a better series than Twilight will ever be.

Robert Pattinson, the actor who plays Edward in Twilight, dresses in quidditch robes from Hogwarts. Harry Potter wears similar robes.

Average Magazine | Spring 2010

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Famous People

Harry Potter Through The Ages!

By: Shreya K.

Year One: He’s 11 with a brown hair and a bowl cut

Year Two: He’s 12. he started to look more like a teenager than a little kid Year 3: He’s 13 and he started to look more mature than he did in the first movie.

Year Four: He’s 14 and actually has nice hair for once!

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Average Magazine | Spring 2010


Famous People Year Five: He’s 15 and is recovring from masacoristic hair cut. This is the period (haha) in which he’s male PMSing

Year Seven: He’s 17 and is back to the terrible haircut.

Year Six: He’s 16 and looks a lot more like an adult.

Average Magazine | Spring 2010

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Famous People

Is it Love?

“love is crawling in a window and silently watching someone sleep for weeks.”BY: Lily C.

T

wilight. Your first thought; Sparkly vampires and everlasting love. My first thought: Sexism, abuse and necrophilia. I believe that the book twilight promotes sexism and abusive relationships by making them seem like true love. So I can say this as much as I want, but there are always people who will disagree. They will say that the book is a good read, it’s about love and how Edward is chivalrous, not abusive. A group of twilight lovers sit in the cafeteria of a local all girls’ school. I have always been the type to argue, and I frankly always have been biased against the book. I recall an old interview where I had sat down to talk with them. “So why do you like Twilight? Honestly?” One girl, who had been asked to be addressed as Mrs. Cullen,’ speaks up. “Twilight is a good book. It has everything, action, romance and hot vampires!” she stifles a giggle. I have to give her credit there, the book does seem to have a little bit of everything, but it seems irrelevant to my point. So I went straight to it. “Doesn’t it bother you that Bella acts totally submissive around Edward and loses her personality when she

The visual representation of physical abuse starts dating him?” They bitterly disagree. “Bella doesn’t become submissive, she just realizes how much she loves Edward and how much time she wants to spend with him. Plus he loves her and would do anything to be with her” “He crawls into her window to watch her sleep…” I say pointedly. More giggles burst out and mumbles. “Love,” someone says. From the defending side of Twilight, the fans believe that “love” is crawling in a window and silently watching someone sleep for weeks. You want to know what I call that? ILLEGAL. Twilight is giving girls a positive out look on how much love a relationship should have, right? Obviously Edward loves Bella and she loves him. It all seems like a perfect relationship, but too bad it is built on abuse. Edward tells Bella what to do, how to act and for the first 60 pages of the book tells her that he likes her, but can’t be with her, tormenting her with mental mind games. Other fans say that Edward isn’t abusive, he is old fashion. After all, he was born in the 1900’s and times were different back then. He is protecting Bella, treating her like she would be treated in his time before chivalry was ‘dead’. I agree that Edward is from a different time, but if he is treating her like she was from that time, that just proves my point. Women were to answer to men. They couldn’t vote,

“My first thought: Sexism, abuse and necrophilia.”

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Average Magazine | Spring 2010


Famous People own their own land and were to be obedient to their husband. also tells her to get away from him or else he will uncontrolHow romantic. Also, Edward is a stalker. lably kill her. Then he draws her in by flattering her with his Respect the fact that Twilight has gotten teens to stalking and says he can’t live without her. Then he dates her. read with its lovey dovey relationships that girls dream about; Does this guy sound like he is bipolar? If Edward truly loved HOWEVER...In an article on healthy relationships on “Teen’s Bella, he would stay away from her for her safety, not jeoparHealth” it defines a good relationship as dize it with his insane vampire instability. trusting, honest. The people in the couple He often tells Bella of how he wants to should have separate identities, something kill her. Last time I checked, sane people which Bella and Edward don’t have. That is don’t want to kill people. To me, what is because Edward is the controller of the relaworse than that is Bella, ‘doesn’t care,’ she tionship. It is unequal dominance. Only Bella just wants to risk her life to be with her isn’t the sweet little victim either. She keeps murderous high school boyfriend. If that pressuring Edward to advance sexually in girl was intelligent in any ways, she would their relationship before he is ready, but the turn Edward into the police before he did only condition was is Edward could marry kill anyone. her first. As a result, Bella ended up getting STALKING. Edward is a major pregnant way before she was ready. That is creeper, and my proof is because he the part of the book that seems non-fiction. That where ‘the watches Bella when she sleeps. That is what a peeping Tom book could be real,’ part that I think the fans should focus on. does. Peeping toms are arrested and classified as sexual predaIf teen girls look to this book for guidance, they could turn out tors. Even Edward thinks he is no better than one. In Midnight just the same way. Sun, Edward thinks to himself, ““How was I any better than Edward likes to be in control, a big factor of that is he some sick peeping tom? I wasn’t any better. I was much, much keeps Bella from her friends. After he leaves her in New Moon, worse.” Hey Edward, I have news for you. We all agree. “Bella she goes into a deep depression. She hardly had any friends was sleeping peacefully when I climbed up to her bedroom to rejoin because Edward had kept her away from them for window early Monday morning. I’d remember oil this time, so long. Edward is and the window now a boyfriend who moved silently out of is overprotective my way.” What part of and overbearing that excerpt sounds like in Bella’s life. His something a normal behavior is abusive person would do? That when he acts oversounds like something protective, “Where my friends and I would do you think you’re say to each other to creep going?” he asked, them out. Bella is flatoutraged. He was tered by this when she gripping a fistful of finds out he had been my jacket, yanking sneaking in her room. me back. He was Whatever Bella feels, the towing me toward young readers feel. This his car now, pulling promotes young girls to me by my jacket. be flattered if a mysteri “Let go!” I They’re not about to kiss. Edward is sucking out the limited ous stranger sneaks in insisted. He ignored their room. A message personality that Bella has with his eyes. me. “You are so to the parents: BUY pushy!” I grumbled. LOCKS. “Get in, Bella. I’ll just drag you back,” he threatened.” Twilight is an interesting book, however, I disagree Sure, for Edward, he was protecting Bella from a with the message it sends to young girls. Bella is 18, she gets bunch of rapists, but at the same time, he was kidnapping her. married, has a baby. Twilight is really popular because of how The fact that he threatened to PHYSICALLY RESTAIN her girls fantasize about the perfect guy. They want to feel loved, should raise a red flag with people. Bella should be able to they want to be adored. Bella is adored by Jacob and Edward. make her own decisions, but clearly Edward knows what he They fight over her, they want her. Every young girl wants to wants to make them for her. feel wanted, but if they listen to Twilight’s message, their vul Edward seems to have some disturbing behaviors that nerability to abuse is likely. are unhealthy. He seems to be very unclear in what he wants from Bella. He tells her frequently he lusts for her blood. He

“A note to parents. BUY LOCKS.”

Average Magazine | Spring 2010

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Famous People

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?

BY: shreya K..

Ever wonder what Harry Potter character you’re most like? Well take this quiz and figure it out!

1. Where do you spend most of your time?

a. in the library b. the great hall eating c. the chamber or secrets d. the forbidden forest e. in an empty corrider making out with someone

2. What would your patronus be?

3. Defining Word:

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a. Smart b. Courage c. Brave d. Random e. Female Ginger

Average Magazine | Spring 2010

a. Otter b. Dog c. Stag d. Hare e. Horse


Famous People

6. What do you think of Quiddich...

a. i don’t like quiddich not confident on a broom b. something he wishes he was better at c. the only adrenaline rush without explosives d. being a spectator and wearing the lions hate e. the greatest thing in the unvierse!

5. What animal would you have?

a. Cat b. Rat c. Owl d. Crumpled Horn Snork back e. Pygmy Puff

If most of you’re answers were a. then you are most like Hermione Granger. If most of your answers were of b. than you are most like Ron Weasly If most of you’re answers were c. then you are most like Harry Potter. If most of your answers were of d. than you are most like Luna Lovegood If most of your answers were of e. than you are most like Ginny Weasly Average Magazine | Spring 2010

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Average People

Average Boy-Average Title. Paul *Smith* BY: Lily C.

Average Blonde Hair

Average Old Navy Sweatshirt

Average Undershirt

Average Invisible Six-Pack

Plaid Red Pants from Target

Average Blue Jeans??

Sneakers

*these names have been changed for the protection of the people featured in this article

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Average Magazine | Spring 2010


Average People

Paul *Smith* is just the average person who we want to represent our magazine. Paul is a band student at his high school, and is an active Facebook user. He enjoys long walks on the beach with his bromantic partner, Brian. When he is not doing homework, Paul lounges around in his plaid pajama pants, probably while watching T.V. After all, he is your typicial average teenager.

Paul at his finest

Paul thinking, “I will kill you now, Shreya� Paul relaxing while reading his favorite picture book

Paul participates in an average yoga pose to release his inner zen-liness

Paul runs with his stick

Paul, age fifteen, eyes swimming with the ghost of his past, and choking back tears, remembers all of the good times he had sitting next to Shreya. Spring 2010 | Average Magazine

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Photos by Lily C.

The ROMANCE of the BROMANCE

Average People

Brah-Brah-Ah-Ah-Ah, Broma, Bro-ma-ma, BROMANCE, Ooh La, La, Want your Bromance

P

BY: Lily C

aul H. and Brian P., ninth graders at the Liberal Arts and Science Academy , in Austin Texas, crowd around a tree among friends. At first these boys seem like casual acquaintances participating in normal tomfoolery, but it doesn’t take long to see that there is a hidden line in this friendship. Paul gives a seductive look at the crowd telling them how often he talks with Brian. “Daily,” he says, with a slight purr in his voice. Brian, a ginger whom is tall for his freshman age, chews thoughtfully on a sandwich. He ignores the question he and Paul were just asked, only to talk about how disgusting his meal is. Even though Brian said it is “gross,” Paul still wants it. These boys share everything. Brian and Paul are brothers from another mother. They hang out periodically at lacrosse practice and at lunch. The two are constantly seen together, bickering or having a good time. These are the signs of a bromance; however, the two boys refuse to admit that they are involved. A bromance is a relationship between two very close straight men. In this relationship, each partner is called, a “bro”. This is a new type of friendship spreading across the Liberal Arts and Science Academy, like a disease. Bromances are infecting the students. More and more children are becoming subjective, and it is something that has become normal. In the media, bromances are becoming more and more apparent. In the hit T.V. show, Scrubs, J.D. and Turk, the two main characters, are in a bromance. In the series, J.D. and Turk have a song together called “Guy

Love,” they sing. “It’s guy love, between two guys…” Which is what describes a bromance to a ‘T’. It wasn’t until recently this love has become more widespread across the school with certain “couples” Fellow student, Zoe O., states an eye witness account to the behavior of the victims. “I’ll just be walking in the hall and then I’ll look in the locker and they’ll be having their heads in each other laps and I’ll be like, oh, George and Luigi are cuddling, and it seems normal, but if someone else were to see it it’d just be creepy.” Luigi C. and George C. are best friends. They are also more than friends. They are bromantic partners. George and Luigi are in an open bromance and constantly are seen in the hallways hugging or having a good time together. Together they are happy. George literally sweeps Luigi off of his feet. They show affection for each other by holding hands in the lockers and hugging. “I guess we cuddle...that’s pretty much it, there’s no passionate making out or anything, so…” But just to be clear—the boys are not gay, just really close friends. The relationship they share is open, meaning they are not afraid to show off their bromance. “I’m never embarrassed to hold hands,” George, also known as “Pedobear,” and who Luigi described as “a Big Asian Teddy bear.” He recalls the first time he and Luigi ever hugged, beginning the physical affection in the bromance. “It was at the freshman picnic, and he jumped in my arms and I caught him with my embrace.” George says. Now that first hug becomes just a regular part of

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Average People their bromantic routine. But other bromances don’t start that abruptly. The lucky ones, like Luigi and George, just click from the beginning. Others, however, seem unlikely that they would ever have formed. Joon Tae and Jacob started off at a rocky place. But after winter break they started to become closer. The two would play basketball together, eat lunch together and would eventually have picnics in the rain. It wasn’t until after two months of “hanging out” that Jacob popped the question to Joon Tae in the hallway. It was at that moment they became bros. They are still in a bromance today, only more drama is starting to unfold. Jacob and Joon Tae did not always see eye to eye. Jacob says he was very rude to Joon Tae at the beginning of the year, but apologized for his actions. Now Jacob and Joon Tae like to poke fun at each other, but it is much more innocent. Jacob elaborates, “I take his things, play around, but he’s Asian so he doesn’t really find it that funny.” “It hurts me deep inside,” frowns Joon Tae, recounting the most recent incident where Jacob stole his Precal book when he had a test to study for. Jacob defends himself by saying he didn’t know Joon Tae had a test. He reassures a broken hearted Joon Tae, telling him there are retakes to help re-raise his grade. Surprisingly, nothing besides grades seem to come between these bromances. Joon Tae jokes about the many relationships he has had with girls, Brian and Paul shrug and

don’t pay any attention to girls and George confides his girl problems with Luigi, as vice versa. If anything, girls have brought some boys together. Others bromances, however, are more difficult to put a label on. *Cough, cough, Brian and Paul. The bromance in denial, is best given to Brian and Paul, It wasn’t until Paul was forced to be partners with Brian in Boy Scouts when they started hanging out more. They shared food during that trip. What do they share now? (Well, Paul still takes Brian’s food, but that’s beyond my point.) They share friendship, but they insist that nothing is going on between them. Paul says their relationship is “platonic.” “We don’t do anything romantic because we’re not a couple.” Others account their relationship abusive, and “boyish.” They often punch and kick at each other to have a good time. Paul tries his best to describe their bromance in the best way he can think of, referencing the Kite Runner. “I hit Brian, but Brian’s never really hit me back. It’s like Amir and Hasaan, but Brian’s never been raped.” Brian seems to have his heart set on denying the fact that he is in a bromance. He makes it clear he has nothing to tell anyone about his relationship with Paul. He says he is not in a bromance and is most certainly not in a bromance-in-denial. “I deny that there is any denying going on….” Brian said, as he takes apples from an innocent student’s lunch box. However, Paul says otherwise. “I guess I’m in a bromance with Brian.” he says. The boys are each asked to describe what a bromance means to them. To Paul and Brian, it means exactly the definition. They insist on not having a “relationship,” but they agree to being good friends. To Daniel and Jacob, a bromance is having someone by your side that you can stick with no matter what. “It’s good to know someone’s always by your side” To George and Luigi, a bromance is everything. George says he would be nothing without Luigi, as Luigi plans on being bros with George for a long time. They are happy together and they trust each other, which is all that matters. George comes to the conclusion of what a bromance is to him: “I think a bromance is something to be kept to the heart,” he says. “And never to be broken.”

“We don’t do

Lily C.

anything romantic because we’re not a couple.”

Joon Tae and Jacob share a tender moment as they smile to the camera. Never before have they been this happy.

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Average People

Are YOU in a Bromance? Get it STRAIGHT Do you almost always find yourself in the company of your significant other? If your bro was a girl, would you date him? Have you ever made your bro a sandwhich, or has he ever made you one? Have you ever held hands with your bro? Would you take a bullet (in the leg) for your bro? Do you act too comfortable around your bro? Do you know your bro’s class schedule? Do you exchange at least one hug a day? Do you have daily guy talk with your bro? Do you wrestle with your bro just to feel his heart beating against you?

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you are in a bromance. Professional help may or may not be needed. Average Magazine | Spring 2010

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Average People DWARF GOURAMI Gouramis are highly popular freshwater aquarium fish. There are many different species, including golden gouramis, moonlight gouramis, and kissing gouramis, They are generally peaceful and beautiful fish, but can become aggresive when threatened territorially. For this reason, it is important to introduce them to a new environment together with other fish. Also, they can be aggressive towrds fish with long fancy tails, sucha as guppies.

DALMATION MOLLY Dalmation mollies, also called marbled mollies, are large fish that can thrive in many different water environments. Other types of mollies include golden mollies, salifin mollies, and balloon mollies. These fish breed extremely often, so if trying for babies, be sure to provide a male with several females and a much larger tank.

CLOWN LOACH Clown loaches grow extremely slowly, but grow up to six inches long if they’re placed in a very large tank. They live on the bottom on the tank, and feed off the algae on the bottom and sides. They will also eat snails. There fish are not only pretty, but peaceful . There is also the advantage that they keep your tank clean!

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Average Magazine | Spring 2010

THE BEST FISH


Average People

FOR YOUR FIRST TANK BY: LUISA V.

TUXEDO PLATY Tuxedo platys are extrmely temperable and friendly fish. They do well with almost any otehr tank companions. They prefer to swim in open areas with little plant cover. Platys are extremely social, and prefer to be kept in groups of at least three. They will breed often. and to settle any conflicts, it is best to keep two females to every one male. There are many different types of platys, including micky mouse platys, spotted platys, and golden comet platys. Most will breed with other species of platys

NEON TETRAS Neon tetras are small fish, rarely growing past an inch.They can be tricky to breed, but are excellent for beginner aquariums becuase of their calm temperment. Tetras prefer a diverse tank, with plants to hide in as well as open areas for swimming. They can be traumatized by drastic changes in the environment, so it is important their lives remain consistant. Tetras are extremely social, prefering to live in groups of at least five.

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Average Magazine | Spring 2010

Photos by Lily C. and Shreya K.


Regular People

Evolving Into LASA Raptors BY: Shreya K.

L

ily C. remembers the night before the first day of high school like it happened yesterday. “I remember lying in bed the night before school, worried about what would happen. Would the teachers throw homework at us? Would I be mugged? Would I see anyone I knew? Most importantly, how would it be like with guys in a school again? I felt so vulnerable and out of place, like Harry Potter in Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix.” Lily C. was just one of the 269 freshman student’s going to the Liberal Arts and Science Academy (LASA). There are a lot of students that are like Lily C. all with different experiences on how they feel about LASA. Students that go to LASA come from all parts of LASA since it is a magnet school. There are students from every part of Austin, each and every student has their own story about what made them come here and how they felt. I have interviewed current 9th graders that have come from different middle schools, so that people that read this article know how other people feel about the LASA and its environment Gabi H. is a current student at LASA High School, she came from Small Middle school and this is how she first felt about LASA “I wanted to come to LASA because I felt eccentric enough for it” Gabi also thought that coming to LASA would be fun and challenging and also that it would look good on a college transcript. After coming to LASA, Gabi’s expectations about the curriculum and people was right were met and even exceeded. She thought she was eccentric and people wouldn’t accept her, but then she met everyone else and knew that wouldn’t have been the case because everyone was crazier than she was. “I was definitely right about the eccentricity, and the smarts, but I had no idea how much fun LASA would be and I’m really glad I came,” says Gabi Some freshman on the other hand had a completely different like Zoe O. She was a student from Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders and she was absolutely terrified about coming to LASA. “I was going to the Ann Richards School for Young Women Leader, they were so strict and I hated it so much and to be honest I missed boys a lot like they really shelter you there, I just didn’t like what it was. Also my brothers already went to LASA and I thought LASA can’t be that bad because he

would always come home and tell us really interesting stories” Zoe didn’t know what to expect on her first day of school she didn’t know what to expect, since she come from an all girls school and hadn’t been in an environment with boys. “I think that at the beginning of the year I was a little too paranoid because almost everyone I know has been really nice and everyone can be they and they are treated as well as anyone else. Like on the first day of school I was with my friend Lily C. and I was accepted he into a group without being judged on who I was No one judged me on how I looked, what I wore, the way I talked I was accepted without having to change who I was. ” Both guys and girls have different opinions on most things so here what Luigi C. though about LASA “I went here because I had applied to both McCallum and LASA. I hoped that one would reject me so that I would have an easier decision,” But both magnet schools had accepted him so he had to make the decided in a week on which high school he wanted to go to , so he looked into his future he decided that coming to LASA would be better on his college transcript. “I came here and I think I got a pretty good new social group and I like it a lot. I like that the people here they are really friendly.” The only issue that Luigi had with this school was the homework, but he thinks that most of that is just because he has a “crappy work ethic” Celine P. came to LASA because she knew a lot of people at this school and so that she could have a better change of getting into college. “I wanted to go to LASA because I knew a lot of people that were coming here and if I go to my home high school I probably wouldn’t fit in.” Celine’s home school is Bowie, Bowie is known to be a huge prep school, and so she believes that she wouldn’t fit in because… But at LASA she knows that everyone’s a nerd and she believes she can fit in better than she could at her home high school.” “There are also the students who never wanted to come here but their parents forced them too. “ Lily C. is one of these students; she wanted to go to Bowie High School, because there are guys here. “At first I wanted to go to Bowie but my dad made me apply to LASA and I was hoping that I didn’t get in and when I did I was complaining all summer about how I didn’t want to go because I knew it was going to be too much work and a

“Lasa kids are the nerds of today, but the successors of tomorrow” -- Lily C.

Continued on p. 33

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Regular People

Become the sexiest man alive

1.

in three easy steps!

2.

3.

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Average Magazine | Spring 2010


Regular People

She’ll be Head Over Heels! (If You’re Strong Enough) BY: Lily C

Photos by In the Spotlight.

How to Get a Girl to Like You Carve a scar into your forehead. Battle wounds are sexy… Give her a hug once in a while. But make sure you are the one to do it. If she tries to hug you, push her down. Let her know she can’t be the one making the first moves. You’re the man. A girl who was just told by her Talk about other girls all the time. When she asks boyfriend to diet you about herself, shrug and say. “Eh, you’re okay.” more. Look at how This will make her feel like she needs to work harder happy she is! because you’re worth it. Whenever she starts complaining about her weight, tell her to diet more. She will appreciate your concern for her figure. Whenever she makes a joke, don’t laugh. This will make her feel awkward and insecure and she will turn to you for superior humor. Always stress her to wear more makeup. She will love that you’re looking at her face. When you are around your friends, totally ignore her. She’ll understand, bro’s before ho’s. Complement her on anything she improved on, like, “You don’t look nearly as bad as you did yesterday! Good job on your makeup!” A lot of girls bake, if your does, whenever she mentions cooking, say, “Oh wow, way to introduce yourself as the fat person.” She will feel bad about her weight again, but proud that you noticed her, and by the next day you should have a nice red velvet cake in your locker. Whenever she tries to speak, tell her to be quiet and make a sandwich. Do this until she breaks. How does this get her to like you—it doesn’t. But all of this work will make you hungry.

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Regular People

Teachers and

Students:

Online Friends? Are you facebook friends with a teacher?

BY: LUISA V.

K

endra Young has twenty-seven pending Facebook friend requests. Seventeen of them are from her own students. She plans on keeping them pending until the day they graduate. “I don’t want them to know what I’m doing on a random Friday night,” she explains. “I actually think their lives are probably more exciting. I think that if I did friend them, they might be disappointed.” Andi Brosche, who teaches freshmen along with Young at the Liberal Arts and Science Academy in Austin, Texas, feels the same way. “There needs to be some distance,” she agrees. She has also had students try and “friend” her before, but she says, “I just think it’s inappropriate, because that’s stuff that’s my personal life.” This year, Facebook reached 400 million users. The average user spends more than fifty-five minutes a day on the social networking site. As the population of Facebook

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Average Magazine | Spring 2010

users grows, the question of whether it is appropriate for students and teachers to be Facebook friends arises. May S., a freshman at the Liberal Arts and Science Academy, thinks Facebook is a convenient way to stay updated about schoolwork. May added her world cultures teacher last year, and found the online connection helpful when she had questions about assignments. She does admit to feeling a bit creeped out, however, when a teacher sent her an online valentine “because of [her] smile.” Another LASA freshman, Selin K., is also Facebook friends with a teacher.


Regular People

“Since he’s my swim coach, and he was the one who was requesting me it was kind of an obligation,” Selin says. “It’s not like he’s creeping on me or anything.” Alexa E., who also attends LASA, thinks differently. “I don’t think I would ever friend a teacher on Facebook,” she says. “That’d just be weird. Then they can see what you say.” “Don’t ask to friend me until the year you graduate from school,” LASA English teacher Michael Scaccia told his students at the beginning of the year. Scaccia has a MySpace page, but swears it’s only for his band. He has no desire at all for a Facebook account. “I made a conscious choice to remain in the twentieth century,” says Scaccia, who considers himself “technologically challenged.” He claims he didn’t even know what the internet was until college, and still doesn’t have access to it at home. “Once [my students] changed [my desktop background] to a unicorn, and I couldn’t figure out how to change it back!” Scaccia recalls. Despite his technological difficulties, he knows for a fact that if he did have a Facebook account he wouldn’t want an online relationship with his students. After the student graduated, however, he might. Brosche and Young feel the same way. “Once they graduate I think it’s okay,” Brosche says. “It’s kind of fun to keep in touch once they’re adults and

find out where they go in the world.” Young agrees. “[I would add them] if they graduated and I wanted to see what they were doing later on.” Young has already accepted several friend requests from former students. Neither Brosche nor Young feel creeped out by student friend requests.

“Don’t

Malhaz Jibladze, a LASA social studies teacher, was first encouraged into getting a Facebook by his own students “Three years ago, when I was taking students on a trip to Georgia, we were organizing meetings together and we said ‘Hey it would be easier to do things [on Facebook],’” Jibladze recalls. “It’s a really good organizational tool, especially for my extracurricular stuff.” Jibladze runs the Gun Club, and always organizes paintball events through Faceboook. He never thinks twice about accepting student requests. “Most of my Facebook is just for students,” Jibladze says. “I have a small number of other friends . . . [the students] friend me and I just add them.” Some teachers are adamant about not having students find them online, while others are more lenient and will accept their students. Student opinions vary widely. They don’t want the teachers to know about their personal lives just as much as the teachers don’t want the students to know about theirs. Sometimes one doesn’t even want to know what the other is doing. “It’s more about me not wanting to know what they’re doing in their photo albums!” Young laughs.

ask to friend me until the day you graduate” “I can understand why [they] might be interested in ‘friending’ their teachers,” Brosche reasons. “I thought it was a little flattering!” Young says. Sheilah Murphy, a lecturer at the University of Texas, has had her students friend request her before, but the requests don’t come often. “I haven’t gotten the impression that students are eager to be Facebook friends with me,” she says. “[the most recent student to friend me] only did it because we were talking about Facebook in class and he had his laptop . . . I told [him he’d] have to wait until the semester was over.”

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Regular People It’s late morning, and I’m pedaling as slowly as possible down the side of the street. My training wheels make a horrible grinding sound against the asphalt, and my whole body vibrates as I ride over the hot road. At the end of the road, across from the playground, lies a waiting dumpster. I stop pedaling and my parents call me over. I rise slowly off the bike and carefully remove my purse from the flowered bike basket. I reach inside and grasp a small object in my tiny hand. Still in my bulky helmet, I pose for a picture outside the dumpster. I can barely reach my arm over the top, but I still manage to fling my pacifier inside.

“No!” I scream as an older boy throws my headband up in the air for the second time. He catches it on his arm and tosses it up again. Instead of landing on his arm or the playground pebbles, it lands on top of the basketball hoop. No matter how high I jump, I still can’t reach the top of the four foot pole. I pretend to be angry, but really I’m thrilled to have found a new game.

“Poop and Pee!” I scream from the highest point of the preschool playscape. “Poop and pee!” the girl next to me repeats. “Let’s make rocks look like poop!” I propose. She immediately agrees, and we go fill our mouths with water from the water fountain. We run back, mouths dripping, and spit the contents of onto a large pile of pebbles. Soon we have a nice pile of mud and rocks. It doesn’t take long before the teachers deem this activity inappropriate, and I stomp off, angry at the teacher who ruined my fun.

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BY: Luisa V.


Regular People

My grandfather puts his hands around my waist, and lifts me into the child seat on the back of the bicycle. He fastens me into the seat, then climbs onto the bike himself. “Don’t fall off,” he warns. I grasp him around his middle and bury my face in his warm back. It’s the middle of July in a small beach town in Italy, and the weather is perfect. “Where are we going?” I ask him. He replies it’s a surprise. I’m excited as we leave our house, but soon I drift off against my grandfather’s back. I’m quickly awakened when he stops the bike and I open my eyes to the biggest and most beautiful playground I’ve ever seen in my life.

I must have been four, because I sit in a light blue car seat. As we round the corner, I don’t notice anything different than usual. It’s not until we’re about to pull into the driveway that I see a shape through the chain link fence overgrown with fines. “Wow!” I scream, as I feel my stomach leap at the sight of the beautiful playscape sitting in my yard.

On the preschool playground, I look longingly over the wooden fence at the older kids playing on the bigger, better playscape. My preschool friend is visiti ng the first grade today. I watch her every move as she runs, shrieking joyously across the wooden deck of the playscape. She finally notices my gaze and waves to me from the top of the shiny silver pole. I wave back, smiling, although my heart is bursting with jealousy.

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Continued from “Evolving into LASA Raptors” p. 26 bunch of nerds, and it really is but they’re cool so it’s all good.” Lily says. But she is now glad that her parents wanted to go here. Lily now says “I love it here and I wouldn’t go to Bowie [now], Bowie is a horrible school filled with evil people.” Most of the students at Bowie are people that Lily knew from when she was in elementary school with them, while growing up with them she never liked their attitude towards things and other people so now that she looks back on it she is actually really happy that she goes to LASA and not Bowie. Interviewing people from different middle schools have different opinions on their experiences they’re way of perceiving LASA from the beginning of the year to the end has changed. “It’s a challenge and a lot of us could go to the schools just right down the street,” says Lily “but I think that it’s worth it to be around people that are just as weird as you are.”

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Dear Paul, We aPAULogize for murdering your dignity in our magazine. Lily Shreya Luisa

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Lily should grow a lucious mullet

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