ISSUE#2 - 09/6/2023

The Ultimate Silver Piece to Adorn Your Table.

Editorial

Parsha Vibes by Rosally Saltsman

Humor Vibes by Miriam Klein Adelman

Vibes of Thought by Malkie Schulman

Vibes of Greatness by C.S. Ben Shachar

The Guy Next Door by Ruthie Pearlman

Fun Vibes

Puzzle Vibes by M. Niderman

The Junior Diplomats by C.S. Ben Shachar

Taste of Vibes by Bracha Shifrin

Yiddish Story

Comics

Amazing Facts

Contest Vibes

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IS NOT EASY.

With Hashem's help, we can make this year different. Together.

COACHING

COMMUNICATION

STRESS

ANXIETY

DATING

BISHOW

With decades of helping singles, NOW is the time that you too can experience the Rifka Schonfeld difference. [

How has your week been?

Full of shopping?

Breaking up fights, setting out drinks, and getting out snacks and more snacks and more snacks?

Heading to and from work?

Hectic?

As the final days of summer come to an end and everyone’s mind is on school, school, and more school (and teachers, school supplies, and how the coming year will affect friendships) we wondered about the type of sacrifices that kids sometimes make to receive an education.

Turns out that in certain, far flunglocations, kids sometimes need to climb mountains to get to their schoolhouses. And, in other places, kids will sometimes brave inclement weather and other meteorological conditions just to be able to sit in a classroom and learn.

In Malkie Schulman’s fascinating feature—There’s a School Located…. Where?—over ten strange, out-ofthe box, and highly improbably school locations are listed and discussed to give you, and me, a sense of appreciation as to the strange circumstances that kids sometimes confront all in the name of receiving a well-rounded education But sacrifices don’t always take place on a broad, wacky, or zany, level. Sometimes, kids—and their parents--

sacrifice comfort zones closer to home by attending schools that are a step up from what they’re used to. At a women’s event recently, I heard a woman speak about her journey as a Baalas Teshuvah and she mentioned that a lot changed for her after her son began to act out in various ways at home. This boy’s therapist’s suggestions proved to be unhelpful, but this woman then realized that her son kept on showing an interest in a higher standard of Yiddishkeit. The school that he was attending was simply not a good fit for him in that manner, and the minute that she switched him to a “frummer” institution, the boy’s problematic misbehaviors somehow, miraculously, disappeared. (And the woman then went on to follow her son’s path, and the path that her husband had begun years earlier, by becoming a fullfledged, unwavering, Baalas Teshuvah).

It’s fascinating to think about the sacrifices that people make on public and private levels. In her article “Beyond Summer Camp” Miriam Klein Adelman explores the idea of parents sacrificing their desires and staying attuned to their children’s needs—specifically with regard to school. We hope the article, and the rest of the articles in this paper, is inspiring and provides food for thought.

May it be a wonderful week for all, The Lakewood Vibes Editorial Team

PROGRAM

RABBI EPHRAIM SHAPIRO

RABBI ELI MANSOUR

MR. CHARLIE HARARY

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13

Ateres Chynka · 129 Elmwood Ave

Also STREAMING LIVE on ohrnaava.com and available for viewing until Yom Kippur

PROGRAM II - LAKEWOOD

RABBI JOEY HABER

MRS. CHANI SHELBY

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12

Cedar Palace · 1990 Swarthmore Ave · Lakewood, NJ

Also STREAMING LIVE on ohrnaava.com and available for viewing until Yom Kippur

FOUNDED BY RABBI ZECHARIAH WALLERSTEIN ל״צז

RABBI ZECHARIAH WALLERSTEIN ZT”L

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Nitzavim - Vayelech

Rosally Saltsman

The Choice is Yours!

“Two Roads diverged in a wood…”

My favorite poem is The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost, which in the 100 years since it was written, has become a staple and classic of English literature. I loved teaching it to high school students because it addressed the topic of choice at a time in their lives when they were on the cusp of many significant and potentially life-altering ones.

We are inundated with choices. Never before have we had so much opportunity, so many possibilities, so many options and alternatives. Why if you were to enter your favorite coffee emporium and order a different brew every morning of the year, you might still not have tapped into all the possible combinations available.

There are so many crises occurring in the world these days, yet I'd wager that one of the biggest crises is the overload of choices.

Too much choice makes us feel pressured, whiney, overwhelmed, and overloaded with FOMO.

Let’s take the Shidduch Crisis as an example. There was no shidduch crisis in the shtetl were there was a handful of girls available for a handful of boys of the same religious bend and economic situation. The choice was limited, and people made their choices accordingly.

Today shidduch resumés stand in tottering piles while young men and women consider the possibilities from across town and around the world. How wonderful, he's koveia itim and has a heart of gold. But do I want a businessman or a full-time learner?

Oh no! A physical therapist? But we already have three therapist daughters-in-law. Maybe it's time we look for a teacher?

She lives in Tampa! Does that mean we'll have to visit her parents in the summer?

The utter availability of people and things make choice-making that much more difficult and complicated.

Don’t get me wrong, opportunity and choice are a wonderful thing. To have the ability to choose your profession, lifestyle, location, religious affiliation, spouse, and friends from a limitless supply of options is a great thing. And to thine own self be true is, at its source, a Jewish concept, first coined by Hillel in Pirkei Avos, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” (Avos 1:14)

But there’s a part two to that credo. “But if I am only for myself, what am I?”

In this week's Parshah, after 41 years of plagues and miracles, laws and guidance, war and journeying, Hashem puts the Torah’s credo into a succinct nutshell. Choose good over bad, choose life over death. It seems like Hashem is saying that whatever we choose, we need to choose well. The choice isn’t between a dozen schools or seminaries, 33 flavors of ice-cream, 512 soulmates and fifteen careers.

The choice is between good and bad.

This dichotomy is manifest not only in the major lifechoices we make, but also in which path we take in the woods. As Frost says, way leads onto way. Every decision has the potential to somehow alter our life and the life of others in what has become known as The Butterfly Affect, or the metaphorical example of a tornado's formation and exact path being influenced by minor perturbations such as those of a distant butterfly who flapped its wings several weeks earlier.

Parasha Vibes

In the Torah-reading cycle, the two parshiyos–Nitzavim and Vayelech—are usually read together. This hints at an implied choice. We either stay standing where we are, Nitzavim, or we move forward toward another reality, Vayelech. This is further emphasized by the fact that Nitzavim is a verb in the present tense whereas Vayelech is a verb in the inverted future (a tense used in the Torah).

It’s estimated that the average adult makes about 35,000 decisions each day, with each decision impacting the following days’ 35,000 decisions in an endless ripple effect—with ramifications a few days, weeks, or even decades later. What you feel, think, eat, say, and wear, all have consequences and so the Torah has laws regarding these seemingly trivial things. It's why we must constantly be vigilant in performing them.

Our activities engender choices. And for 41 years (beginning in Mitzrayim) Moshe taught the Jews how to choose correctly and wisely.

If we make so many decisions every day, and every decision has so many options, it's no wonder we’re perpetually exhausted. Think of a family trying to decide where to go on Chol Hamoed. By the time they’ve decided where to go and what to do, there’s no time left to do it.

So many thought-processes precede our decisions, at a rapid speed, we barely even notice or weigh the consequences. That is why Rabbi Shimon says in Pirkei Avos: "He who is wise sees the consequences of his actions [read choices]." (Avos 2, 9)

Consider what happens when you: Don’t write down an important date in your calendar and miss a meeting, birthday, wedding, or flight. Don’t prepare your kids’ clothing for a class picture. Choose not to answer angrily when provoked by a family member.

We go about our days, and sometimes our lives, not giving enough importance to some decisions, and giving too much importance to others. This is because, in both cases, we are overwhelmed by choices. In truth, however, there are only two categories of choices: Choices between good and good and choices between good and bad.

The results of a choice between good and good hinge on Hashem running the world. For example, a young woman can walk into a café and hesitate between a decaf Latté and a caramel mocha espresso, decide on the espresso, and then have the woman behind her tap her on the shoulder and state that her nephew orders the very same thing. Coyly, she may then add: “Are you seeing anyone?”

On the other hand, after a lot of research and deliberation, a businessman can make what he believes is a sound investment only to lose a lot of money. We can’t fault ourselves when we choose between two potentially good things.

A good choice, even with negative results, is still a good choice. We have no control over the results. All we can do is daven, make what we believe is the best choice, and trust in Hashem that the outcome will be for the best.

The problem starts when we have to choose between good and bad. Among the 35,000 decisions we make each day, at least a few are related to our duty to refine ourselves and our character traits as part of our tikkun. These choices can alter our destinies, not necessarily because the choice itself is life-altering, but because, the minute details of the choice include some aspect of choice between good and bad. It is in those choices, which hinge on the choice of adhering to a Torah mindset or doing otherwise, that we make our most important life choices.

In making decisions, we don’t need to consider every available option. That's neither necessary nor possible. Instead, consider a few options, and be grateful that those options exist. Look a little way down the road until it bends and choose your best path. Remember, and be cognizant, of choosing well and choosing for the good.

And that will have made all the difference…

Rosally Saltsman is a prolific writer who has published countless articles in many publications and websites. Her numerous books are available for sale on Amazon.

We either stay standing where we are, Nitzavim, or we move forward toward another reality, Vayelech.

The Guy Next Door

There wasn’t much Debbie and I could say after that. It was a done deal.

Mottel had a ton of money — in a suitcase, no less. He was off to Schindler Square, the Hilton of care homes — well, as Hilton as frum care homes get in London, anyway. It certainly was a place to aspire to get into, and Mottel and Gittel had won the jackpot in that regard.

I couldn’t fault his reasoning, even though I wasn’t happy with the outcome, for obvious reasons. I mean, who wants a two-hundredfifty-pound bald guy living next door? And

not even a Jewish two-hundred-fifty-pound bald guy who reached his weight by eating too much lokshen kugel and cholent!

This guy probably lifted men like me in one hand — on a bench press, before breakfast, just as an appetizer. And I’m not that lightweight either; at least thirty pounds more than the doctor says I should be.

I walked back home slowly with Debbie.

“Look on the bright side, Nachman,” Debbie said. “There are other neighbors. It’s not as if the whole street has been taken over by weird bald guys who weigh too much.”

Ruthie Pearlman

Chapter 2

Recap: Nachman and Debbie Feld approach the Bernsteins about the sale of their house and learn that the buyer is a heavyweight, single non-Jewish man.

No grime, no gunk, no garbage. We will leave no spot unturned in our quest to leave you with nothing to clean. So, if it's nothing you seek, we are your people.

“I weigh too much, and I’m going bald,” I pointed out, rubbing my receding hairline ruefully. “He should fit right in.”

“Maybe he’ll be nice,” Debbie said without conviction.

“He doesn’t have a family, Mottel said. He’s all on his own, buying a great big house like that. What does he need such a big house for, just him?”

“He doesn’t have a family? Or he doesn’t have one with him? Those are two very different scenarios,” Debbie said.

“Hm, I didn’t think of that, and Mottel didn’t really say,” I mused.

“Maybe he has a family somewhere, and will bring them along to join him at some point. And anyway, the Japanese businessman down the road is also all alone in a big house,” Debbie pointed out as we reached our front door.

She had the key in her hand, so she opened the door, and we went in, shutting the weirdness outside.

Our lovely, safe home, where we had brought up our children, and let them fly away. Now it was just us. Maybe the house was too big for us too? No, Avi and Rikki were still single, they came home for the bein hazemanim, so we still needed the space. And then they would hopefully get married, and

maybe go and live in Israel for a few years or more, and come home for Pesach and Sukkos with a growing brood…

So yes, we needed our house just the size it was, even if most of the bedrooms stood empty for most of the year. Feast or famine, that was our life now — and would be for the foreseeable future. Either on our own, or besieged. Rikki usually brought home a friend for bein hazemanim, girls who lived in places like Australia or Brazil, and it wasn’t practical for them to fly home every holiday. I liked meeting her friends, and I know Debbie liked it too. Even though she secretly wanted to spend one-on-one time with her mostly absent daughter, she saw how happy Rikki was with her friends, and Debbie knew she owed it to her daughter to allow this, after having deprived her of a large family of siblings.

Not to have even one sister, and Avi not a single brother, was quite a deprivation. We hadn’t done a great job there, we knew, but Hashem had had other ideas. The two siblings were as close as opposite-gender siblings could be, but it wasn’t the same as giving them each a brother, a sister. Debbie has four sisters, and I have, thank G-d, a whole raft of siblings floating about the world. So family get-togethers, when they happen (which isn’t often), are quite something. But for some reason, we weren’t blessed with a

large family, and we’re just thankful for our amazing son and daughter.

Why was I getting all introspective about my family? Because I was thinking of Mottel and Gittel, who also had quite a few kids. But despite the multitude they had in their dynasty, there was no one who was actually willing to have them under their roof full time.

What do they say? “One parent can take care of ten children, but ten children can’t take care of one parent.” Never was a truer word uttered, in irony or jest, or just grasping the nettle of how life affects the “sheli sheli v’shelach sheli” generation that we, through accident or design, seem to have created. The generation that expects to use their parents’ well-stocked pantry as a free supermarket to save themselves money and effort, but would baulk if their parents asked them to make them a meal if they felt sick.

I was getting ahead of myself, I know, thinking dark thoughts when dark matters hadn’t yet happened. We were still young, and our kids were still unmarried.

We had parents, both of us, and, thank the Lord, they were both sprightly and independent sixty-somethings who lived locally, drove cars, went to work, and didn’t need our help. Indeed, we turned to them far more than they turned to us. But I would like to think that if and when they did turn to us, we would step up to the plate and be there for them.

Would I want my parents to live with us full time if they became old and decrepit? I hoped I would never have to face the question. Sometimes having a raft of siblings made things easier — someone else could take them — but it could also make it harder. I could already see my siblings and me fighting over decisions as to our parents’ care. The wealthier ones would want to pay for a caregiver to move in to my parents’ home. The poorer ones would feel bad about not contributing to that cost so would have to run themselves ragged doing it themselves. And we’d argue the hind leg off a donkey as to the right thing to do.

Maybe, like Mottel and Gittel, my parents would just decide on their own what to do. They weren’t rich, but they had money put aside, and maybe they were saving up for Schindler Square too. So we’d be the lucky ones schlepping to Stamford Hill during rush hour to visit them.

Lucky us.

Debbie and I looked at each other in the echoing silence of our childless kitchen.

“I’m sure our new neighbor will be very nice,” she said again. “Let’s give him a chance.”

I didn’t want to burst her bubble by pointing out that it was weird that he had insisted on buying just this house, next door to us, and had paid in cash to make sure he secured it.

There had to be a rational explanation for all of that. It didn’t have to be weird, did it? Maybe he just liked the street in itself. It was close to the tube station and shops and buses. Maybe the only reason he bought the house was because it was the only house on our street that was for sale. Well, there wasn’t long to find out. He was moving in in less than a week.

There’s something else about our street: it’s very achdusdik, very unified, very together. And one of the lovely things it does is, once a year, around this time, in late spring/early summer, it has a street party. The residents get together, set up tables and chairs in the street, and hire a jumping castle — which they set up in some unsuspecting neighbor’s front driveway so when he comes home from work he has nowhere to park…but he usually takes it in the spirit it was intended and joins in the fun.

After all, by then the traffic wardens who patrol our street between eleven and midday, issuing tickets to any nonresidents daring to park on residents’ bays, have gone home. We can park outside our own houses again, if there’s space.

We petitioned for the one-hour-a-day Controlled Parking Zone ourselves, you know. Because before we had it, due to our proximity to the tube station, commuters would park in our street for the day and walk to the tube station.

Did I say the day? Scratch that. Some

people parked here for two weeks and went on vacation! And then the garbage trucks couldn’t get down the street to empty our bins because it was too parked up, and people with narrow driveways couldn’t get in or out because some commuter had semiblocked his driveway and gone on holiday for the foreseeable future.

It was not fun before the Controlled Parking Zone came in. Just having it for one hour a day, right in the middle of the day, meant that the commuters couldn’t park there, so they went elsewhere. Peace and civilization returned to our quiet suburban street. The disadvantage was that we residents had to pay for residents’ parking permits to park in the bays outside our own homes, but that was one of the costs we bore, living so close to the tube.

I digress. Back to the Street Party. It was on a Sunday, so only those poor folk who couldn’t take Sunday off would be going to work. Most of us were home, entertaining small kids, working in our home offices (me!), or just mooching around doing random projects or gardening. If we were lucky and the notorious British weather held, it would be an amazing day of fun and sun and neighborliness.

Could we possibly have guessed that this particular Sunday, the day of the Street Party, would also be the day that the guy next door picked to move in?

Flip, flip, flip – what?

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Last Week’s Winner: Krybus Family

Rabbi Avraham Tzvi Hirsch Eisenstadt

Reb Tzvi Hirsch was a Rabbi in Utyan (Utena), Kovno whose fame spread after his involvement in the following

Oneday a woman came to Reb Tzvi Hirsch for advice after her son mysteriously disappeared. This poor woman’s son had left home under peculiar circumstances some time earlier and rumors about him abounded. Maybe he had drowned at sea. Maybe he’d been eaten by wild animals.

Maybe he’d died or converted to Christianity.

In the community that the woman was from, rumors about her son were rampant and the woman was overcome with fear and anxiety. When she arrived at Reb Tzvi Hirsch’s doorstep, she was desperate not only for help but for a listening and guiding ear.

Reb Tzvi Hirsch listened to the woman’s story and said: “But how can I know what happened to your son? I’m not a prophet or fortune teller.”

The woman began to cry. “Rebbe,” she said. “Just give me a thread of hope please, something to hold onto. People are spreading all kinds of rumors about my son and I want to make sure that none of them are true. Is my son dead or alive? Has he

converted to Christianity, chalila? Please, give me reason to hope for the best.”

Reb Tzvi Hirsch stroked his beard in quiet contemplation, and after a moment he said: “Your son is alive.”

“And did he, chas veshalom, convert?” the woman pressed. “No, he did not.”

something miraculous.” Reactions to the story abounded and it seemed like everyone had something to say about the matter. After all, how could Reb Tzvi Hirsh have possibly known that the woman’s son would return, if he was not a miracleworker?

“What about his return, Rebbe? Will he come back home?”

Reb Tzvi Hirsch continued to stroke his beard, and slowly he nodded. “Yes,” he said quietly. “Your son will come back home.”

The woman’s face lit up with relief and she thanked Reb Tzvi Hirsch for being the bearer of good news. When she left Reb Tzvi Hirsch’s home for her own community, she made sure to tell her friends what the Rav had told her—if only to stop the rumors. A year passed and one fine day this woman’s son returned home.

“A wonder occurred.”

“Reb Tzvi Hirsch caused

When Reb Tzvi Hirsch heard that people were ascribing miraculous powers to him because of the story, he was quick to explain. “What I told the woman had nothing to do with prophecy or miracles. Everything that I told her has a clear source in the Gemara. The Gemara, after all, holds that a person is considered alive until proven otherwise, and all Jews are considered Kosher Jews unless there are witnesses to prove otherwise. Since there was no proof to the contrary, I told the woman that her son was alive and that he hadn’t converted.”

“But how did the Rav know that the boy would indeed return home?” People continued to ask. “Because it was clear to me that if the boy was still alive and he hadn’t converted, that he would of course return home in the end.”

And so it was….

(Adapted from the book, Neflaos HaTzadikim)

Author of the Pischei Teshuva (1812–1868)

C.S. Ben Shachar

Rabbi Aaron Twersky of Chernobyl (1784–1871)

It happened once that a certain Jew, whom we’ll call Reb Dovid, was in Berditchev for business. As Reb Dovid purchased merchandise from the various vendors at the Berditichev Fair, he saw another Jew doing the same. This Jew, whom we’ll call Reb Shlomo, had a thick wallet which he kept taking money out of for his various business transactions. Out of the corner of his eye, Reb Dovid saw Reb Shlomo place his wallet into his shirt pocket and then continue on down the marketplace. Whoops.

Reb Shlomo’s wallet fell from his pocket to the marketplace floor and without stopping to think, Reb Dovid bent over to lift it.

As he straightened up with the wallet in his hand, Reb Dovid saw Reb Shlomo continue to plod onward.

At that moment, Reb Dovid’s yetzer hara got the better of him.

“How bad would it be, really, for me to keep the wallet?” the voice of the evil inclination whispered within him. “Thet man doesn’t even realize that he lost anything.”

Reb Dovid, of course, knew that keeping the other man’s wallet would be wrong—but still his feet kept him from running after the other Jew and handing his wallet over quickly. He kept walking slowly behind Reb Shlomo—planning to return the wallet to him in just another minute—when suddenly Reb Shlomo disappeared from view.

Now what?

Now Reb Dovid had a wallet that didn’t belong to him and no way of tracing its owner.

Reb Dovid returned to his home and good fortune shined upon him. With Hashem’s help, his business flourished and he quickly become a wealthy man.

As for Reb Shlomo, he too, returned home. Unfortunately, however, without his missing wallet he had no way of repaying the people whom he’d borrowed money from to purchase wares

at the Berditchev fair and his creditors lost their trust in him. “Someone who borrows money and doesn’t return it is not someone whom we can do business with once again,” they all said. With no resources to borrow money from, Reb Shlomo’s misfortunes grew. He had no way of earning an income and very quickly became destitute. Eventually, Reb Shlomo passed away and left behind a widow and children. Back in the next city…

Reb Dovid began to see Reb Shlomo in a dream every night, and he would always say the same thing: “Know that by not

the case upon himself.

It was indeed an anxious Reb Dovid who made his way to Chernobyl on the day established for the din Torah. The case began with Reb Aharon addressing first Reb Dovid and then the deceased, Reb Shlomo.

Reb Dovid could neither hear, nor see, Reb Shlomo and so Reb Aharon acted as his intermediary. “Reb Shlomo has a valid claim against you,” Reb Aharon said. “But it is now time to hear what you have to say in your defense.”

With a sigh, Reb Dovid looked down at the floor. “It’s true. I did lift Reb Shlomo’s wallet but I planned on returning it to him. Unfortunately, he disappeared before I could do so and there was little that I could do about that.”

Reb Aharon nodded in grave contemplation. “My ruling,” he said. “Is that Reb Dovid return home now and calculate his finances. He is then to give half his money to Reb Shlomo’s widow and her sons, so that they can learn Torah once again.”

returning my wallet, you killed me, and my widow is now poor and broken. My children can no longer learn Torah since my wife doesn’t have a way to pay for their teachers. I demand that you come with me to a din Torah about the matter in the next world.”

Reb Dovid’s dreams shook him, but the thought of joining Reb Shlomo in the next world for a din Torah was unbearable.

“I’ll join you at a court hearing,” Reb Dovid told Reb Shlomo in a dream. “But the court hearing needs to take place in this world so that your wife and children can benefit from the ruling.”

Reb Shlomo agreed to this, and Reb Dovid set out trying to find a Rav to preside as judge of the special din Torah. Consulting with Reb Aharon of Karlin led Reb Dovid to reach out to Reb Aharon of Chernobyl, and the latter agreed to take

Reb Dovid accepted Reb Aharon’s ruling with an immense feeling of relief. At long last, the path to teshuvah glistened before him.

Reb Dovid traveled home, calculated his finances, and then traveled to Reb Shlomo’s city to give his poor widow half his money. He also hired a melamed to teach the widow’s sons’ Torah and left Reb Shlomo’s city feeling as though a huge boulder had been removed from his heart.

On his way home, Reb Dovid stopped in Berditchev and threw a seudas hodaya in a shul there, telling his tale to a group of Chassidim. His meal was an expression of thanksgiving for having been shown the path toward teshuvah, and for at long last being allowed to atone for his sin.

(Adapted from the tales of Rabbi S.Y. Zevin)

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Leah is looking around the lunch table and trying to make sure that she doesn’t choke on her cream cheese bagel. Her stomach is hurting her again! The girls around her are chatting and giggling about the upcoming quiz and Mimi’s new backpack, but Leah can’t seem to get a word in edgewise. It’s always been like this for Leah. When she’s in a group of people, her palms get sweaty, her face gets red, and her heart beats a million times a minute. She can never figure out when it’s the right time to speak, laugh, or just nod.

Shlomi knows that he’s right. His classmate Dovid is trying to argue with him and saying, “Shlomi, you can’t leave your notebook on the window sill today because the window is open and it’s raining. Your notebook is going to get all wet.” But Shlomi knows that two weeks ago Mrs. Pearlman asked the students to leave their extra notebooks on the windowsill instead of on their desks. She even repeated it twice. Shlomi has told Dovid this many times, but Dovid keeps insisting that today is different than the last two weeks. Finally, Dovid shrugs and walks away, “You never understand what I say anyway.”

“Naomi, you’re not listening!” Batsheva shrieks at her older sister. Naomi turns towards Batsheva and shakes her head, “I am listening. I just got distracted for a minute,” Naomi answers. But, to Batsheva, it seems like Naomi is always getting distracted. They can never finish a game of checkers, let alone a game of Monopoly, without Naomi getting bored and walking away. They can’t finish a conversation or a meal. Sometimes Batsheva feels like it’s not worth starting a conversation with her sister since Naomi is bound to stop listening halfway through. “Batsheva, I am trying!” Naomi pleads with her sister, but this time, her sister has stopped listening to her.

Rifka Schonfeld

Ihave changed Leah, Shlomi, and Naomi’s names, yet they are three children who I have encountered through my work. While they exhibit very different characteristics, they share something in common: difficulty with social skills. Their difficulties manifest in different ways and have different consequences, yet the core of the issue is a lack of social skills that impede friendship and relationships. We will get into the details of Leah, Shlomi, and Naomi’s situations later in this article, but first, let’s lay out a little about what we mean when use the term social skills.

Put simply, we use social skills to communicate and interact with each other, both verbally and non-verbally. Social skills or interpersonal skills include verbal language, as well as our tone of voice, volume, inflection, and choice of words. They also include body language, gestures, and other non-verbal communication methods.

ACCORDING TO PSYCHIATRIST

GABRIELLA LANCIA, PHD, THERE ARE FOUR KEY COMPONENTS OF HEALTHY SOCIAL SKILLS:

•Social awareness. The ability to pick up social cues, such as knowing when it’s your turn to talk or when it’s time to end a playdate or meeting.

•Social cognition. The ability to recognize what other people are thinking when they communicate with us.

•Social communication. The ability to reciprocate and respond when someone communicates verbally or non-verbally.

•Social motivation. The ability to recognize the importance of friendship and social interactions.

While many people develop social skills naturally, there are children who need to be explicitly taught. And, like Leah, Shlomi, and Naomi, there might be other factors that contribute to children not inherently learning social skills as they grow. Additionally, though social skills can always be learned, the earlier we learn them, the smoother and more enjoyable our lives will be as they are essential for daily interactions.

Social Anxiety

There are several characteristics of Leah’s behavior that indicate she may be dealing with some form of social anxiety. Social anxiety, or social phobia, is a type of anxiety disorder that can cause fear in social situations. Those with social phobia have a strong fear of being judged by others or publicly embarrassed. People with social phobia are afraid of doing common things in front of other people. For example, they might be afraid to eat or drink in front of other people, or order a drink at a coffee shop. Sometimes, they end up staying away from places or events where they feel there is a potential for embarrassment. Generally, this condition is diagnosed in teens, but it can be interpreted as shyness in children and only get diagnosed later in life.

Children with social phobia may get very real headaches, stomachaches, or diarrhea on school days – but the pain comes from their brains, not their bowels.

Asperger’s Syndrome

Shlomi’s concrete thinking and inability to compromise could potentially be symptoms of being on the spectrum. Asperger’s Syndrome was first described in the 1940s by a pediatrician, Hans Asperger, who noticed that he had many patients with deficient social and communicative skills even though they had normal language development and cognitive abilities. While many children on the autistic scale have trouble functioning socially, they also tend to develop language skills later; therefore, Dr. Asperger felt these children stood in a class of their own.

Children with autism often seem aloof and uninterested in others. This is not the case with children with Asperger’s – they usually want to fit in and interact with others – but simply do not know how to do that. They may be socially awkward, not pick up on social cues, or show a lack of empathy. In terms of non-verbal communication, children with Asperger’s will seem uninterested in a conversation, not understand the use of gestures, and feel invisible. While many children with Asperger’s have excellent memory skills for statistics and rote memorization, they have trouble with abstract concepts. Because of the many strengths of children with Asperger’s Syndrome, often, as a parent or

teacher of an affected child, this syndrome can be especially frustrating. We know that the child is cognitively capable, so we ask ourselves, “Why can’t they just act like everyone else?” While this frustration is a common phenomenon, it is important to understand that children with Asperger’s would love to function the way their siblings and family do. They simply cannot figure out how to act “normally.” It’s our job as parents and educators to give them the tools to grow their social skills.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Naomi’s inability to focus on conversations with her sister, and her sister’s insistence that she never listens, could be a sign of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Current research shows that ADHD children are often socially immature. Their interactions with others often appear unfriendly, awkward, remote, abrasive, domineering or insensitive. They tend not to be able to read social cues and to be rebuffed by peers for inappropriate behavior. Social rejection provokes negative behavior that triggers more rejection, which in turn, reinforces the child’s social isolation. “ADHD children may become demoralized, believing they are little more than a nuisance,” notes an article in Eye on Education. “Feelings of low self-esteem begin to emerge. These children tend to compare themselves unfavorably with their siblings and peers. They may believe that their families are disappointed in them, and begin to feel unloved and unappreciated.”

NOW WHAT?

The truth is that you can’t teach what social skills are for every situation. Instead, we need to teach children how to read the situation and then adapt to it with an appropriate response. Michelle Garcia Winner, a social worker and early pioneer of promoting social skills, labels this type of social skills education as “social thinking.” In her many books and workshops, Michelle Garcia Winner, discusses the concept of “social thinking.” According to Garcia Winner:

Our social behavior is the end result of a complicated and very fast thought process called social thinking. Our behavioral response in every social context is informed by our consideration of the thoughts and feelings of the people around us as well as how we intend to influence them. This means that in the context of going to the doctor’s office…our behavior may be slightly different each time depending on who is around us and what we perceive they are thinking and feeling in that moment.

There is no one correct way to act in a doctor’s waiting room because the social context is always a little bit different! Sometimes the receptionist may be happy to answer personal questions about herself, especially if you notice a new engagement ring on her finger. Sometimes you can converse with other patients, if they are showing certain signs that they are interested in talking to you. With this in mind, it suddenly becomes clear that for students to “behave well” requires that

they be sensitive to the situation and the people in the situation in order for them to socially problem solve how to produce the “expected behavior.”

THE FOLLOWING ARE CORE PHILOSOPHIES OF SOCIAL THINKING:

•People “think with their eyes” to figure out other people’s thoughts and emotions.

•Our thoughts and emotions are connected. Thinking affects feeling and feeling affects thinking.

•Our actions are constantly governed by thinking about other people, even if we are not with them.

•We always try to act in a way that other people will not think we are “weird.”

•All people engage in these thoughts and behaviors.

•Social thinking continues to be necessary for adult life. To keep a job, we must understand what the people around us think and expect.

SOCIAL THINKING THERAPISTS EXPLAIN THAT THERE ARE THREE PARTS OF THE PROCESS OF EFFECTIVELY SOCIALIZING WITH OTHERS:

Engage in Social Thinking

This step includes thinking about your thoughts and the thoughts of those around you. This means that you must learn selfawareness (to recognize what your strengths

I Never Got To

HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS. But

I’ll Always Hold You In My Heart.

and weaknesses are) and to examine other people’s perspectives (to attempt to understand what others are thinking about you and themselves). Social thinking does not end in childhood; each time we enter a new stage in life, we are forced to engage our social thinking.

Adapt Your Behavior

Once you successfully engage in social thinking, you then need to practice appropriate social skills. Therefore, you need to adapt your behavior to consider the thoughts and feelings of others, and communicate your own intentions in the situation.

Be Aware of Others’ Reactions

People will respond to your social skills (or lack of) quickly, feeling that you are rude or polite, awkward or friendly. These reactions from other people are in fact emotional reactions that cannot necessarily be put into words. Watching other people’s reactions to your social skills is also part of social thinking – and learning to adapt after those reactions continues the cycle.

There is no silver bullet for social skills, but with time and effort, children and adults have the ability to learn and grow – and eventually develop long-lasting friendships and relationships.

Empathy is a key component to positive social interactions, and is comprised of several components: an awareness of a “self” that is separate from other people, the ability to recognize another person’s perspective, the ability to regulate emotional responses.

Support Children in Times of Distress

When children feel that their own emotional needs are met, they are better able to recognize the emotional needs of others. Therefore, helping your children recover from their own emotional setbacks will help them have empathy for other people.

Talk to your Kids

When parents talk to their children as if they have a mind of their own and treat their children as individuals, they encourage children to look at others as individuals with their own feelings and emotions.

Point Out Commonalities

Studies show that children are more likely to feel empathy for those that they feel are similar or familiar to them. Teach your children to find similarities with

people – even if they are very different. Explain to them that everyone has certain things in common.

Role-Play

Children can learn a lot from stepping into other people’s shoes for just a few moments. Help your children role play how they would feel if someone reacted to them the way they reacted in the past. Even books and stories can help children understand other people’s perspectives.

Smile and Give Lots of Hugs

Children are more likely to be generous and kind if they feel secure and loved. Therefore, smiling at your children as a way of signaling approval and giving lots of physical affection will help your child feel selfconfident.

TIPS TO HELP CHILDREN GAIN EMPATHY:

FIVE HABITS FOR KIDS’ SOCIAL HEALTH:

1. Voicing Emotions

Sometimes it might feel easier to just go along with whatever your friend is doing, but it’s also important for you to share your feelings. If you are upset about something, even if your friend is happy, you should share your feelings. Think about a way to share those feelings without making your friend feel bad, but without erasing your own feelings too. You can even test out voicing your emotions with your parents if you feel you need practice.

2. Setting Boundaries

It’s important to decide how you want to be treated and how you would like to treat others. And when someone steps over the line of treating you the way you feel you should be treated, you should try out healthy habit #1 for emotional health. Let the person know that that interaction did not feel good for you and why.

3. Expressing Gratitude

When you are thankful to other people and you let them know, you are actually recognizing the goodness that is in your life. This allows you to feel better about

the experiences you have had, to feel more positive emotions, and relieves stress in the future. So, by saying thank you and meaning it -- you are actually giving yourself a present.

4. Utilizing Techniques for Dealing with Strong Feelings

Sometimes we are all hit with big feelings: we want to scream, cry, or jump around. It’s not always easy to react to strong feelings with calm habits. That’s why it’s important to learn tricks to deal with these strong emotions. Some tricks include counting, others include breathing, but they all help you deal more calmly with the big feelings that you are having.

5. Listening to Others, Both with Your Mind and Heart

Sometimes we think it’s easy to listen. We just need to sit there. But, the truth is that really listening to both what the other person is saying and what they really mean is hard work. Make it a habit to listen to what your friends are saying -- and also to what they are not saying -- you will both be a lot happier.

An acclaimed educator and social skills specialist, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@gmail.com. You can view the web at rifkaschonfeld.com

Day

Write down 5 things you are grateful for.

Day

Practice positive self-talk.

Do something nice for yourself.

Go for a walk.

Eliminate sugar + Eat protein & vegetables

Meditate. Pray. Journal.

Pay attention to micro moments of happiness.

Eliminate caffeine.

Go to sleep 30min. earlier than usual.

Exercise or stretch.

Day 10

Listen to calming music.

Day 15

Do something with your hands.

Declutter your favorite space. Use fidget toys.

Practice deep breathing.

Give yourself time out.

Do a creative activity to distract yourself.

Drink cold water.

Cuddle with a weighted blanket.

Connect with a friend.

Use a mantra to talk yourself out of it.

Identify 3 triggers.

Drink herbal tea.

Spend time in nature.

Go on a digital detox. (off all devices) for 10 minutes.

Take a hot shower or bath.

Plan a 10 minute worry time.

Scratch something off your to-do list.

Find something to laugh about.

ph 718.382.5437 e info@rifkaschonfeld.com  www.rifkaschonfeld.com

Chapter 2

The Junior Diplomats The Junior Diplomats

Abba and Ima arrived home an hour later. Rachel, on the living room couch with her book still, snapped it shut immediately—instantly tense.

Ima smiled at her. “Things will be okay, motek,” she said.

Rachel was unconvinced, but she didn’t feel like she could voice her worries out loud. Instead, she wanted to be finished listening to whatever it was that her parents wanted her to listen to.

“Where’s Eli?” Abba asked.

Rachel gestured toward the ceiling and as if on cue, Eli’s sneakered feet appeared at the upstairs landing. “I’ll be right down!”

In a flash, Eli skidded down the banister and into the open living room area.

Ima wagged a warning finger in his direction, but her eyes flashed with amusement.

Or maybe they were flashing with something else?

With a nervous shuffle, Abba settled down on the armchair across from Rachel. Following his cue, Ima settled onto the couch beside Rachel and patted at the empty space beside her for Eli to come and join them.

Eli shrugged and shifted his feet in a standing position still. He looks nervous, Rachel thought.

“So, this is it. Our meeting.” Abba cleared his throat. “As I told Eli earlier, we have some big news about next year. We’re moving.”

Eli and Rachel exchanged glances. “Moving?” Eli repeated. “But that’s not news.” Ima had circled the date of the family’s scheduled return to Israel in red on the large kitchen calendar and she had underlined the word Homecoming in the circle three times. All the Katz family members knew about the big move.

Recap: In their Holland home, Rachel and Eli Katz discuss their family’s scheduled move back to Israel at the end of the summer, after three years away on a diplomatic government mission for Israel. Their father then calls to say that he has important news to share.

“Unless you mean that we’re moving to someplace that’s not Israel,” Rachel said.

Ima and Abba both nodded. “Spot on,” Abba agreed. “We’re not moving back to Israel as planned. Instead, we’ve been approved for a move to Vienna.”

“Vienna,” Rachel repeated. “Why Vienna?”

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The Feldman Five #2: Seaside Adventure

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Speedy the Spider’s Secret Mission

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Attack of the Sukkos Bandits

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The first book in an entertaining new series by award-winning author Bashie Lisker.

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Tehillah Bauman

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Sara Miriam Gross

“Why aren’t we moving back to Israel?” Eli asked, and for some reason his voice sounded shrill and like a wail.

Abba and Ima exchanged glances. Their eyes filled with the type of discomfort that kids could easily pick up on and which adults might otherwise overlook. Something was going on. There was a reason for this unexplained, unprecedent, move to a country that was not part of the family’s original itinerary.

A reason for the approval…

“Vienna’s a nice city,” Ima told Eli and Rachel, her voice oozing with over-the-top oomph. “It’s a beautiful city actually, very clean, and there’s a nice Jewish school there that you’ll be able to go to, not too far from where we plan on living.”

“A Jewish school,” Eli repeated. “But don’t diplomats always send to the International School?”

Every country had an International School and for as long as Eli could remember, he and Rachel had been primed to stay on par with the subjects taught at such schools so that they wouldn’t fall behind in their studies no matter what country the family might choose to move to. Jewish studies were important to their family as well, as the family was traditional and were proud of their Yiddishkeit, but somehow their Jewish studies had always taken a back seat to the secular studies at the International Schools.

“In Vienna, with a Jewish school near where we’ll be living, it’ll nice to finally have that as an option. The private Jewish teacher who comes here three times a week is hardly enough to teach you everything Jewish that you ought to know.”

“Um, okay,” Eli said. Somehow, thought, he got the feeling that his family wasn’t moving to Vienna because of the Jewish school there. There were, after all, plenty of Jewish schools in Israel.

“Bu…” Rachel began. “When are we going to move back to Israel exactly? How long is this move supposed to last?”

“We don’t know the answer to that question yet,” Abba said slowly. “But in the meantime, we plan to make the most of our move. Ima and I are happy that our request has been approved. This move might be somewhat last minute, but we expect you to treat it like any other diplomatic move.”

“That means that we’re going to bring over a tutor to start giving you private German lessons every day for about an hour until the middle of next month when we actually move to Vienna,” Ima said. “So much for a learning-free summer,” Eli muttered. “Don’t they speak Hebrew at the Jewish school?” Rachel added.

“They do,” Ima said. “But German is still the main language in the country. And the school.”

Rachel shuddered and Ima stroked her hair. “I know that this change is sudden,” she said. “But it’ll be good. You’ll see that.” She looked at Abba, as though awaiting his confirmation.

Abba cleared his throat in agreement. “Obviously there’s a lot that we’re going to have to take care of over the next few weeks because this change of plans has come through very last minute, but in some ways the general idea is the same: A move, a change of locations, a new school, new friends.” He stood up and Eli and Rachel watched him head toward the stairwell. “Why?” Rachel called out. “Why the move?”

Abba leaned over the banister with a sigh. “Good question,” he said slowly. “As for my good answer,” Abba zipped his lips shut in an almost comical, exaggerated motion. “Obviously, we’re not allowed to tell.”

There was a moment of silence in the living room as the children watched Abba ascend the stairs. When Abba was finally on the second floor of their home the children could hear his home office door open and then close.

Ima rose. “Abba’s being melodramatic,” she said with a small laugh. “But really, diplomats move all the time.” She headed toward the kitchen.

“Not like this,” Rachel whispered. Somehow, she had the feeling that her mother’s last statement was meant to downplay the truth of Abba’s last words. She patted at the now vacated space near her on the couch and shuddered as Eli finally came over to sit down. “Diplomats don’t make last minute changes just like this.”

“Our move back to Israel was planned right at the beginning of our mission, three years ago,” Eli agreed. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Something’s going on,” Rachel agreed.

“The question is what.”

“Abba said transfer was approved,” Rachel said slowly. “That means that we could’ve been moving back to Israel next month like planned, but we’re not, because Abba and Ima asked for us to be transferred to Vienna instead.”

Eli looked at his younger sister. Sometimes, she picked out nuances that he could never have pick up on his own. “So why do you think they asked for the transfer?

Why can’t we just go home to Israel according to the original plan?”

“I don’t know,” Rachel said slowly. “But if you ask me, this whole business is suspicious, and if we want to get to the bottom of it, it’s up to us to somehow figure out how to do so.”

skip this one.

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The Journey of Mankind

Rabbi Yonason Arenias

A comprehensive running commentary on Parashas Bereishis & Parashas Noach. In this unique work, covering the first 2000 years of mankind, you will get a clear explanation of the Torah.

New Chapters for

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Second Thoughts

Esther Kurtz

Join Esther Kurtz as she explores women’s inner lives, especially when the right answer isn’t as obvious as you thought it was. You’ll laugh, ruminate, and probably think twice as you join these women on their journeys.

Conviction

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Conviction is the riveting true story of a man who turns his life around, against all odds. From the football fields of Vegas to the prison cells of Otisville, Shawn Balva reveals an inner strength that trumps any touchdown he ever scored.

Infiltrator

Ruthie Pearlman

Yael Yair is back! When the daughter of an Israeli secret service agent is in danger, she’s sent to a boarding school to keep her safe. But when she and a classmate are kidnapped, everyone is shocked to the core. Can Yael rescue the missing schoolgirls?

B.Y. High #2 Making Her Mark

Miriam Dombey

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Seattle to Strawberries

Chaya Rochel Zimmerman

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Puzzle Vibes

Parshas Nitzavim-Vayelech

By: Mrs. Mink

FILL IN THE BLANKS OF THE PARSHA STORY BELOW & THEN FIND THE WORDS IN THE WORD SEARCH:

Name: _____________________________________________________

In this weeks _____ of ______ we learn about how ___ spoke to the _____ before he was ______. He _______them that if they would not keep the torah and _____ they would be sent into _____ from the land of Israel (_______ _______). ______ has put before us ___ different choices, one of______ and one of _____.

Date: _______ nitzavim

YSAEDMSESRUCDFQLE

PCVYOIQRCINBEHZUR

XWFTFMUEFRMJEVNBE

PAHAROTTXIMTVIIBT

BRMSIHKFQGGJEWONZ

UNIRENXIMHGBRCHNY

SEYUDKYNRTBMYABQI

ODAESOOHCAAHSRAPS

VPMPOLTPRXPHJEEHR

ZXAINRRESXEKTGFLO

TMHTAIHVOMKZPNEIE

IFSEHSTLUCIFFIDTL

MLHNOSAZEGZZOSXOS

DPWMAMIYAMOHSSQFU

UIUZWEMBOVAUBEZZL

NEDDIYCRYWIGPLOAA

TRRQSXGOHYTMMBSOG

shamayimgalusspokehashem nitzavimdifficulteasyheart nifterwarnederetzyisroeltwo

Word Bank:

MOSHE RABBEINU TWO PARSHA BLESSINGS

HASHEM NITZAVIM CURSES

YIDDEN

ERETZ YISROEL

NIFTAR

GALUS WARNED

MITZVOS

Here are last week’s answers:

A

The solution to this week’s puzzle will be published in next week’s issue.

rightoceaneverylife

torahcurseschooseyidden

אטעג-עשראוו ןופ רעדניק 2,500

טעוועטארעגסיורא

רעשעלפ ןיא רעדניק

טאה עכלעוו ,רעלדנעס אנעריא ןופ עטכישעג

:רעירפ ןופ ןצרוק ןיא .סעזנעק ןופ עלוש-ךיוה 'ןואטנאינוי' יד ןיא רערעל א ,דראנאק .רמ ןופ סאלק םוצ רעבירא טייג ,םייה עשיטאמעלבארפּ א ןופ דניק א ,סרעבמעק סיאול ןיא ןשטנעמ רעביא ןענעז ,ןראי ןיוש טעברא רע עכלעוו טימ ,ןטקעיארפּ 'גאט עיראטסיה רעלאנאיצאנ' יד זא רעליש יד ןייטשראפ וצ טביג רערעל רעד םולח ןטסדליוו ןיא טאה סיאול .עטגינייפּעג יד ראפ ןגאלשעג ךיז ןוא עטעדווירקאב יד ראפ ןעמונעגנא ךיז ,ערעדנא ןפלאהעג ןבאה עכלעוו עיראטסיה ןראי ןיוש טראוו סאוו גנוקעדפיוא ןא .טלעוו יד ראפ ןסיוו ןזאל טעוו רע גנוקעדפיוא עשיראטסיה ,עדנלסיירטפיוא אראפסאוו ,גנונא ןייק טאהעג טשינ .ךאלפרעביוא ן'פיוא ןעמיוושוצפיורא !גנונאפּש טימ רעטייוו טנייל

?תועט א זיא 2,500 :2 לטיפאק

2,500 וצ טנאנ ראפ ןבעגעג טאה יז"

ןוא ,סעיצאקיפיטנעדיא עיינ רעדניק

ייז זא ,ןעמענ עגיטכיר ערעייז ןבארגאב .טרעכיזראפ ןביילב ןלאז

יד טעיובעגפיוא טאה רעלטיה ןעוו"

ןוא ,1940 ראי ןיא ,עשראוו ןיא אטעג

טנזיוט 500 רעביא ןבירטעגניירא ןיהא ןבאה ,ןרידיווקיל וצ ייז ןדיא עשיליופּ

רעייז טעיירדעגסיוא םיוג עשיליופּ בור

טשינ רעבא .טרידאלפּא ראג רעדא ןקור

רעוועשראוו א גידנעייז .רעלדנעס אנעריא

רעלדנעס טאה ,רעטעברא-עלאיצאס

םעניא ןייגוצניירא טימרעפּ א טפאשראפ

ןופ סנכייצ ןכוז ןוא אטעג םענעמונראפ

סיצאנ יד עכלעוו ןופ ,עימעדיפּע סופיט יד

טעוו סע זא ,טאהעג ארומ קראטש ןבאה

.אטעג ןרעסיוא ךיוא ןטיירפּשראפ ךיז

טאה ,ןעזעג טאה יז סאוו ןופ טריקאש"

א – 'אטאגיז' ןיא ןסאלשעגנא ךיז רעלדנעס

עיצאזינאגרא עשידרערעטנוא עניילק-ראג

".ךייא ןופ רענייא ןייז סאד ,טכארטעג סיאול טאה ',טשינ רעכיז ךיא' טנאוו ן'פיוא ןא ךיז טנאל פּאק ןייז ןעוו .ןגיוא עטכאמראפ טימ ןיא טלייטוצ ךיז ןבאה ןטנעדוטס יד ןיא טלאה רעדעי ןעוו ,סעפּורג עניילק ןביוהעגפיוא טאה סיאול .עקעט א טנאה ריא ןקוקוצרעביא ןביוהעגנא ןוא עקעט א טאה עסערעטניא ךאס ןייק ןא .טלאהניא ןעמוקעגנא זיא רע זיב טרעטעלבעג רע רע עכלעוו גנוטייצ א ןופ טינשסיוא ןא וצ דנע סוינ סע-וי' ,טנעקעג טשינ וליפא טאה ראי ,21 ץרעמ טריטאד ,'טראפּער דלראוו .1994

ךיז טאה לקיטרא םענופ לפּעק סאד םעניא ".סרעלדניש ערעדנא יד" :טנעיילעג ןעוועג ןפארגאראפּ עכילטע ןענעז לקיטרא :רעקראמ עטיור א טימ ןעמונעגמורא

-עלאיצאס ,רעלדנעס אנעריא :ןליופּ" .רעטעברא

.1999 סעזנעק

,גאטשרענאד ןעוועג זיא סע טעוו סאוו גאט א( 23 רעבמעטפּעס סע ןעוו ,)טקעיארפּ םעד ןטיילגאב ךאנ .רמ ןופ סאלק ןיא ןעמיוושעגפיורא זיא עיראטסיה רעלאנאיצאנ' רעד דראנאק ראי ,ראי עגידנעמוק ןראפ טקעיארפּ 'גאט .2000

דראנאק .רמ יוו ןעזעגסיוא טאה סע סאד עמעט יד" :סרעבמעק סיאול וצ טדער ןטקנופּדנעוו' ןייז טעוו טקעיארפּ םענופ ראי לאמנייק ןענעק רימ .'עיראטסיה ןיא ןוא ןעמוקנא ןלעוו רימ ואוו ,ןסיוו טשינ ".ןקעדטנא ןלעוו רימ ןכאז אראפסאוו ןאילימ בלאה א" :טצעזעגראפ טאה רע עלא ןיא ,ךייא יוו טקנופּ רעדניק ,רעדניק ןעמענ ,עקירעמא ץנאג רעביא סלוקס

ןיוש ןבאה ךאסא .טקעיארפּ םעניא לייטנא וליפא ןוא עשיטאטש ,עלאקאל ןעניוועג

ןעק גאט ןייא .ןטסעמראפ עלאנאיצאנ

ריא טלאוו ןעמ ביוא טריסאפּ טלאוו סאוו ןעזעג סיאול טאה ,ןוימד ןייז ןיא '?טפּאכעג

םייב ןייטש רעטכעוו-יצאנ רעגנערטש א

.אטעג ןופ רעיוט

ןייז ביוא טרעדנואוועג ךיז טאה סיאול

טאה יז ןעוו טנייוועג טאה עמאמ ענעגייא

ןסיוו טלאוועג טאה רע ;טזאלעגרעביא םיא

זא טכארטעג וליפא טאה עמאמ ןייז ביוא

טראוועג גנאל טאה דניק גירעי-ףניפ ריא

םעניא .ןעמוקקירוצ לאז יז זא ריט םייב

ןיינ עטשרע יד ,טלאטשנא ןשיטאטש

ןוא טנייוועג ךילרעטיב סיאול טאה ,םישדח

ןליפעג עלא ןענעז ןאד רעבא ,טעקירבעג

טשינ טאה עמאמ ןייז .ןראוועג ןריורפראפ

ןענייוו טשינ רע טעוו ;םיא ףיוא טנייוועג

.ךיז ףיוא רעדא עמאמ ןייז ףיוא

טאה ,לאמטכאנ ייב טכאנראפ רענעי

זיא סעלא ביוא טגערפעג םיא 'ליב עדייז'

טריפּש רע ביוא ןוא םיא טימ גנונעדרא ןיא

ןעגנולעג ךילדנע זיא ,תוצח ךאנ גנאל .טוג

.ןגיוא ענייז ןכאמראפ וצ סיאול ראפ

סיאול טאה ,גאט רעגידנעמוק רעד

ראנ ןבילבעג זיא סאלק ןיא זיב טראוועג

לעוו ךיא זא ביילג ךיא" .דראנאק .רמ

",יורפ רעלדנעס אנעריא יד ןשראפסיוא

ךיא בייה ואוו רעבא" ,טגאזעג רע טאה "?ןא

.גנירג ןייז טשינ טעוו סע .סיאול ,טוג"

ןלעטשמאצ ךיז טסלאז וד זא ןא גארט ךיא

ןטעברא ןוא ןטנעדוטס יירד-ייווצ ךאנ טימ

ליפּש א ןופרעד ןכאמ ןוא ןעמאזוצ ףיורעד

".'עטסיל ס'רעלדניש' יוו רעגייטש א –

.טגערפעג סיאול טאה "?רעוו"

ףיוא ןזיוועגנא טאה דראנאק .רמ

םענופ לפּעק םעניא ןעמאנ ס'רעלדניש

.גנוריסאפּ ע'תמא ןא זיא סאד" .לקיטרא

א ןופ השעמ יד זיא 'עטסיל ס'רעלדניש'

טאה עכלעוו – יוג רעשטייד א – שטנעמ

ןופ ןדיא טנזיוט ןופ רעמ טעוועטארעג

ןגעוו .המחלמ טלעוו ןטייווצ םייב טיוט

זיא 2,500 רעמונ רעד זא ךיא טכארט םעד

ןופ ןגאז וצ טסייוו רענייא רעדעי .תועט א

רע "...טשינ ןעק רענייק רעבא ,רעלדניש

,טנאה ןייז ןופ לקיטרא םעד ןעמונעג טאה

.טסייה יורפ יד יוזא יוו ןאט וצ קילב א

סיאול טאה ",רעלדנעס אנעריא"

.טפּאכעגסיוא

ןא ןיוש טסיב וד ,סיאול קוק ,הא"

".רימ ןופ רעמ ןיוש טסייוו וד .טרעפּסקע

ןוט לאז סיאול ןגארטעגנא ןאד טאה רע

,טראוטס קיימ טימ ןעמאזוצ טקעיארפּ םעד ,טנעדוטס רעשיגרענע ןוא רעגולק א םעניא ןבירשעגנייא ךיוא ךיז טאה עכלעוו

,ןפאלשעגרעביא טשינ סאד זיא סיאול אנעריא ךיז טימ טפּעלשעגטימ ראנ .גאט ןצנאג א עטכישעג ס'רעלדנעס ,רעלדנעס אנעריא ןופ רעדליב עראלקמוא

א ןטעב ,'אטנעלאשזד' ןעמאנ-דואק ריא

םיא טאה ,דניק ריא ןבעגוצקעווא עמאמ טלפּענראפ ,םייהא געוו ןצנאג א טרעטשעג טקוקעג טאה רע ןעוו ןעקנאדעג ענייז

טשינ ןוא ענאיפּ גידנליפּש ןטאנ ענייז ףיוא .טייצ עגירביא יד החונמ טזאלעג עמאמ א טגייצרעביא יז טאה יוזאיוו' חומ ןייז טאה '?דניק ריא ןבעגוצפיוא

יד ןעוו ןוא' .רעהפיוא ןא טעוועשזובעג ,טנייוועג ןוא טנייוועג ןבאה דניק ןוא עמאמ רעלדנעס טאה יוזא יוו ,ןענעגעזעג םייב טאה סיאול '?עמאמ יד ןוא ?טריפּשעג רעלדנעס אנעריא יוו טלעטשעגראפ ךיז ריא רעטנוא ןטלאהאב דניק א טגארט ואוו ,סנאלובמא עגידנטראוו א וצ לטנאמ .ןשזאדנאב ןשיווצ ןטלאהאב סע טאה יז ?טנייוועג טאה דניק סאד ביוא זיא סאוו' עלא טקוקעגכרוד טשינ סיצאנ יד ןבאה ?ןייגסיורא ןוא ןעמוקניירא םייב סאטיוא

ןעמוקאב ןוא – ןדיא ןפלאהעג טאה עכלעוו .'אטנעלאשזד' ןעמאנ-דואק םעד

ןיוש ךיז ןבאה סעיצאטראפּעד יד"

סע סאוו ץארט ןוא ,ןביוהעגנא טאהעג

ןעוועטאר וצ ךילגעמ ןעוועג טשינ ןיוש זיא ןביוהעגנא רעלדנעס טאה ,ענעסקאוורע ןא ןיא רעדניק ןעלגאמשוצסיורא

ייז זא ןריטנאראג וטסנעק" .'סנאלובמא'

-םוצ יד ןופ עגארפ יד "?ןבעל ןביילב ןלעוו ךאנ טאה ןרעטלע ענעקארשרעד-טיוט

עגנאל ןרעיוא ס'רעלדנעס ןיא ןעגנילקעג

טנעקעג ראנ טאה יז רעבא .רעטעפש ןראי

ייז ביוא ןבראטש ןלעוו ייז זא ןריטנאראג

",ןראמשאק עניימ ןיא" .אטעג ןיא ןביילב

יד ןופ ןעיירענייוו יד ךאנ ךיא רעה" ,יז טגאז

ערעייז טזאלעגרעביא ןבאה ייז ןעוו רעדניק ".ןרעטלע

ןעגנולעג זיא רעלדנעס ראפ"

עשידיא 2,500 טעמכ ןעלגאמשוצסיורא

ןבעגעג ןוא טריצאלפּ ייז ,רעדניק .סעיצאקיפיטנעדיא עיינ עגילייווטייצ

יז טאה ,רעוו זיא רעוו ןעקנעדעג וצ

ףיוא ןעמענ עגיטכיר יד ןבירשעגפּארא

ןיא ןבארגאב ייז ןוא ,ריפּאפּ ךעלקיטש

ןטסירק ןפערט .ןטראג ריא ןיא רעשעלפ

זיא רעדניק יד ןטלאהאב ןלאז עכלעוו ןענעז סע .עבאגפיוא עגנירג א ןעוועג טשינ עכלעוו םיוג עשיליופּ ךאס ןייק ןעוועג טשינ וליפא ,ןדיא ןפלעה וצ טיירג ןעוועג ןענעז טריזינאגרא טאה רעלדנעס רעבא .רעדניק עכלעוו ןריטסאנאמ ןוא תוחפּשמ ןופ ץענ א יד ראפ ךאד א ןבעג וצ טיירג ןעוועג ןענעז ".רעדניק עטעוועטארעג לקיטרא ןצרוק םעד טניילעג טאה סיאול לשיט םוצ טגנערבעג סע ןוא לאמ עכילטע .רערעל םענופ "?טנאקאב יורפ יד זיא ,דראנאק .רמ" לקיטרא םעד טנעיילעג טאה דראנאק ,סיאול ,ןיינ" .סעציילפּ ענייז ןגיוצעג ןוא לאמנייק באה ךיא .טנאקאב טשינ זיא יז א סע זיא רשפא .ריא ןופ טרעהעג טשינ

שממ טשינ – ךאד טסייוו – זיירג-קורד

סאד טסנעק וד .250 ראנ ,רעדניק 2,500 ".ןרעוו ריואוועג

סיאול טאה "?טנאקאבמוא זיא יז"

,ןפּיל ענייז גידנסערפּמאצ טגערפעגרעביא ".ענדאמ לסיבא זיא סע"

",סיאול ,ץיפּש יד עקאט זיא סאד"

ןענעז סאד" .טגאזעג דראנאק .רמ טאה

ןשיוט ןעק רעדעי .ןדלעה עטסואוואבמוא

וטספאלש סאווראפ .וד וליפא .טלעוו יד ןלייצראפ רימ טסעוו ?רעביא טשינ סאד ".ןגראמ

סאוו ןופ טריקאש"

,ןעזעג טאה יז רעלדנעס טאה

ןסאלשעגנא ךיז א – 'אטאגיז' ןיא עניילק-ראג

עשידרערעטנוא

עיצאזינאגרא טאה עכלעוו – ןדיא ןפלאהעג

םעד ןעמוקאב ןוא

ןעמאנ-דואק .'אטנעלאשזד'

סע ראפעב ךאנ ,ךאז רעלדנעס אנעריא רע '.טריצילפּמאק רעדא סיורג וצ טרעוו

וצ םעלבארפּ םוש ןייק טאהעג טשינ טאה

סאד רעבא – ךאז םוש ןייק ףיוא 'ןיינ' ןגאז

.שרעדנא סעפּע ןעוועג סע זיא לאמ

טשינ םיא ןבאה ןעקנאדעג יד

ןוימד ןייז ןעוו ,טכאנייב טרפב ,טזאלעגפּא

'ןעזעג' טאה רע ןוא ,טליפּשוצ ךיז טאה

,ריט א ףיוא טפּאלק רעלדנעס אנעריא יוו

דניק ריא ףיוא טביג עמאמ עשידיא א ןוא

א ראפ – סלציפּ א וליפא לאמוצ רעדא –

ידכ ראנ ,טשינ וליפא ןעק יז ןעמעוו יורפ

יד ןבארגפיוא זומ ךיא' .ןעוועטאר וצ סע

'.השעמ יד ןופ עיראטסיה זיא עיצאמראפניא עשיטקאפ ןעמוקאב טאה ,גידנכוז .ךאז עגנירג ןייק ןעוועג טשינ יד ,עיצאזינאגרא ןייא ראנ ןפארטעגנא רע ,'סעשטייר עד ראפ ןאשיעדנואפ שיאושזד'

ןא ,רא-ףע-יעשזד יד :ןצרוק ןיא רעדא ידיסח טציטשעג טאה עכלעוו עיצאזינאגרא טעוועטארעג ןבאה עכלעוו םלועה תומוא .גירק טלעוו ןטייווצ םייב ןדיא

טאה ,גאט עדנע סאלק ןיא גידנציז

טעוו רע יוזאיוו ןוא ןעוו טכארטעג סיאול

טשינ טעוו רע זא דראנאק .רמ ראפ ןגאז עיראטסיה רעלאנאיצאנ' םעד ראי סאד ןוט

רעכיב עלא גידנעמענמאצ .טקעיארפּ 'גאט

לקיטרא רעלעניגרא רעד זיא ,ןייגוצמייהא

ןלאפעגסיורא 'סרעלדניש ערעדנא יד' ןופ

ןביוהעגפיוא סאד טאה סיאול .עקעט םענופ

.רמ טימ טנגעגאב ךיז ןבאה ןקילב ענייז ןוא .דראנאק

טייקגירעגיינ טאה ,עדנע םייב

.ןגיואוועגרעביא

ןוא רערעל ןייז וצ ןעגנאגעגוצ זיא סיאול

ביוא" .רעלדניש ראקסא רעביא טגערפעג

",גנולייצרע ןייז טימ ןענעקאב ךיז טסעוו וד

וטסעוו" ,סיאול ראפ טגאזעג דראנאק טאה

רעד סאוו ןייטשראפ ןוא ןריפּש לסיבא

".זיא טקעיארפּ רעלדנעס אנעריא

סאד ןייגכרוד ללכב ךיא לאז סאווראפ'

סיאול ןופ ןעקנאדעג יד ןבאה '?סעלא

.ריט םוצ גידנעייג טריפּאלאג

יד ןטלאהעג טאה דראנאק .רמ "?סיאול"

.עיצאזינאגרא רא-ףע-יעשזד יד ןופ ןריפּאפּ

סע וט .ןפורנא ייז טסלאז וד זא ןיימ'כ"

.ןסעגראפ טסעוו וד ראפעב ךאנ ,טצעי

ןענעק טסלאז 'סעפּ' ןאפעלעט א רעדאנ ".ןפורסיורא

טאה רעטצעל רעד ןעוו ,קיימ ןופ ןגיוא רעגידנעטש ןייז .לקיטרא םעד טנעיילעג ןדנואוושראפ ךעלסיבוצ זיא לכיימש לאמנייא לקיטרא םעד גידנענייל ןראוועג

.לאמאכאנ ןוא פּאק ןייז טלקאשעג קיימ טאה ",אהוא"

ביוא – ןעניוטש וצ זיא סאד" ,רעדנואוו טימ ,ןגיוא יד ןיא סיאול גידנקוק ".תמא זיא'ס רע טאה ,ןריבורפּסיוא םיא ןוא ןעז גידנלעוו רעלאנאיצאנ' זא טגאז ןעמ" :טצעזעגראפ

.סאלק 'גאט עיראטסיה רעלאנאיצאנ'

,ןיילק ןעוועג זיא עלוש-ךיוה 'ןואטנאינוי'

29 זיולב ןופ ןענאטשאב זיא סאלק רעד

.ןדעי טנעקעג טאה רעדעי ןוא ןטנעדוטס

זיא סיאול סאוו סעלא ןעוועג זיא קיימ

טבילאב ,לכיימש א טימ סלא .ןעוועג טשינ .םייה עלאמראנ א ןופ ןוא ןדעי ייב

יוו קנאדעג ןיא ןעזעג ןיוש טאה סיאול

א ,ןיינ' :פּא שיטאמאלפּיד םיא טגאז קיימ

לעוו'כ' :רעדא ',ןעז לעוו'כ' :רעדא ',קנאד

:וליפא רעדא ',ראי עגידנעמוק ףיוא ןטראוו '.טקעיארפּ רעטייווצ א ןוט רעסעב לעוו'כ'

ןרעדנואוו ןביוהעגנא ךיז טאה סיאול .טקעיארפּ םעד ללכב טוט רע סאווראפ

רעבא '?ןבעגוצפיוא טצעי טייצ זיא רשפא'

טגערפעג טאה רע ןעוו ,קאש סיורג ןייז וצ

ן'פיוא םיא טימ ןטעברא ליוו רע ביוא קיימ

רע טאה ,'טקעיארפּ רעלדנעס אנעריא'

ןייז טעוו סע זא ןיימ'כ .אי" :טרעפטנעעג

וליפא .ןוט ןענעק סע לעוו'כ ףאה'כ .טוג ןטקעיארפּ ןוא ןכאז ךאסא ךאנ באה'כ ".פּאק ןיימ ףיוא עסיורג ןייז גידנזייווסיורא טשינ סע טאה קיימ רערעטלע רעד זא החמש :טגערפעג רעטייוו סיאול טאה ,ןעמונעגנא ".סאלק ןיא ןופרעד ןדער טנייה רימ ןענעק" ".סאלק ןיא .טגיטעטשאב .רעכיז" גידנעייז ,גאטימכאנ םענעי רעטעפּש סיאול טאה ,104 רעמיצ ןיא סניילא .ענדאמ ןריפּש וצ ןביוהעגנא לאמאכאנ ףיוא טעבראעג טשינ לאמנייק באה'כ' ערעדנא טימ ןעמאזוצ ;ןטקעיארפּ ןייק

?ןטעברא סאד טעוו .טשינ רעכיז ןטנעדוטס

ערעווש ןענעז ןטקעיארפּ 'גאט עיראטסיה

ךאסא ףראד ןעמ זא רעה ךיא .טעברא ןיא ראפרעד ןעמוקניירא לעיצעפּס לאמ ".רעגנעל ןביילב וליפא ןוא עלוש טימ טרעפטנעעג סיאול טאה ",אי"

יוזא ךיוא באה'כ" ,טכיזעג םענעכעלב א ".טרעהעג

'?ןא ךיא בייה ואוו וד" .םיא ןבענ טצעזעג ךיז טאה קיימ "?'ןאטלפּיעמ' ןיא טסניואוו "?תמא ,'ןאסנארב' ןיא וד ןוא .אי" ,ריד וצ ךיילגראפ ןיא זא ,ביילג ךיא .פּאי" ".טאטש עסיורג יד ןופ ךיא םוק זיא רע ,ןכאל וצ טריבורפּ טאה סיאול

.זעוורענ ןוא ןגיוצעגנא רעייז ןעוועג רעבא םעד קיימ ראפ ןבעגעג טאה טאה רע זיא סאד" '.סרעלדניש ערעדנא יד' לקיטרא

",השרפּ יד רעביא סייוו ךיא סאוו סעלא רעבא" ,ןעלסקא ענייז ןגיוצעג סיאול טאה

,טמיטשעגוצ ןיוש טאה קיימ זא טצעי ערעדנא ץנאג טאהעג סיאול טאה עצנאג יד ןפראווקעווא ליוו'כ' .ןעקנאדעג

.ןעניוטש וצ סאד זיא ,תמא זיא סאד ביוא 2,500 ,זיירג א ןראוועג זיא אד זא ןייז ןעק ".250 טאטשנא ענייז ןעמונעגפּארא טשינ טאה סיאול

עגיטכיר

STRESS EATING

I need more space for the guests to sleep...Chaya Rochel already ordered simanim cards...last year’s apple kugel tasted weird, I need to find a new recipe...the boy’s need haircuts...I need to find an outfit for the baby to match the girls...wow look at the price of honey this year... look at the price of everything - how do people do it?....my girls really don’t help enough...I’m so tired and I can’t afford to get sick...did I really just eat half that bag of chips? Where did the rest of those chocolates go - I ate them?! I MUST lose ten pounds before Succos! Why did I let myself eat that?! I need to go shopping for clothes but I really want to lose weight first....

If any of this seems even remotely familiar to you, you are dealing with stress eating. Stress eating doesn’t come from hunger. It comes from emotional discomfort, and is soothed with food. Stress eating is actually a very effective way of reducing emotional anxiety in the short term, because foods like chips and chocolate actually release serotonin - a brain chemical that allows you to feel pleasure. Unfortunately, the effects of this process aren’t very long lasting, as the extra calories alway bring along more stress and anxiety.

So why do we do it? We all know that the short term stress relief is not worth the long term regret and misery that comes from gaining weight, especially when we want to be losing weight! Yet over and over again we find ourselves eating foods that we later regret.

Actually, not stress eating is more difficult than it seems. When we are stressed, we have our own hormones working against us. Stress activates your adrenal glands to release cortisol, increasing your appetite,” says Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, psychologist and the emotional eating expert behind the site Too Much On Her

Plate. Stress also impedes hunger hormones, like ghrelin, which regulate your appetite. And if the anxiety is affecting your ability to get to bed, a lack of sleep ramps up your appetite even more. So fighting stress eating means fighting a host of raging hormones determined to keep you eating!

So how can anyone fight it? We have found that there are a few keys to successfully fighting stress eating before and during the holidays.

1. Make your environment diet-safe. If chips, chocolate, or nuts are your goto for stress relief, do not bring them in the house. This means that the battle begins in the grocery store. If you find that you end up eating whatever is in front of you, then you need to make sure that foods like baby carrots, sugar free gum, and clementines are more easily accessible than sandwich cookies and leftover cake from Shabbos.

2. Be prepared. Along the lines of making your environment dietfriendly, make sure that you are prepared for emotional stress. Buy ready-made salads and easy to

prepare frozen vegetables. Prioritize your eating and sleeping habits. Time your day with your meals in mind so that you don’t come home starved from a full day of shopping and errands. Make a master diet shopping list so you always have what you need in the house. By eating well throughout the day you will prevent stress eating simply by being less hungry!

3. Find forms of stress relief that don’t involve food. Take a hot shower or a nap. Make a list to clear your head. Vent to a friend. Read a book or watch a show that distracts you. Buy a punching bag. Any of these can act to release your stress level, thereby reducing your cortisol and ultimately your appetite. We often gravitate towards food because it is immediately accessible but taking the extra minute or two to find a better way to reduce stress is critical. The great part about finding alternative stress relief methods is that they work! After choosing a better form of stress relief several times, it will become easier to make that choiceEmotional eating is just a habit, and

like all habits, it can be broken and replaced with new habits!

4. Learn to be comfortable with discomfort. It is ok to be worried, anxious, jealous, resentful, or overwhelmed - you do not have to numb these feelings. We are generally so determined to go back to our comfortable “baseline” that we quickly numb our feelings with food. Challenge yourself to accept the uncomfortable feelings, acknowledge them, but not force them away with food. The discomfort will pass soon enough, without you hurrying it along.

According to studies conducted on thousands of women across many countries and cultures, concern about weight ranked as number one or two on women’s priority list - higher than financial concerns, job concerns, and for some women, even higher than concerns about their relationships! Something this important to us deserves our time and attention. Investing the time, effort, and money to make sure that stress eating doesn’t get to you this holiday season is a worthwhile priority!

Tanya Rosen is the owner of Nutrition by Tanya and Sculpt by Tanya with 12 locations in NY, NJ, and Israel with 2 locations right here in Lakewood and Jackson. Tanya is also the creator of the TAP food line, Shape Fitness kosher workout DVD’s, and Cooking with Tanya cookbook series.

סאוו עטסערג יד .טלעוו ןפיוא טסענ עטסערג יד טעיוב רעלדא רעד טאה ןוא ףיט סיפ 20 ,טיירב סיפ 10 ןעוועג זיא ןפארטעג טאה ןעמ !ןאט 3 וצ בורק ןגיואוועג ןוא ,רעמייב עטלא ,עכיוה-ראג ףיוא - ןגייווצ עסיורג טימ - סע ןעיוב ייז א וצ טנאנ ןייז ףראד טסענ יד .דרע ןפיוא טושפ רעצעלפ עסיוועג ףיוא .ןסע ןעגנערב ןוא ןעגנאפ ןענעק ןלעוו ייז ואוו רעסאוו ךילרעי גידנגיילוצ - ראי 4-5 ראפ טסענ ןבלעז םעד רעביא ןצינ ייז ךיז טאה סע רעבא .ךיז טכערבוצ ןוא פארא טגעוו סע זיב - ןגייווצ עשירפ .רעהפיוא ןא ראי 34 טצינעג טאה ןעמ סאוו טסענ א טכאמעג ןיוש ןענעז רעייא יד .טסענ םעניא רעייא ,2 לאמ בור ,1-3 טגייל עמאמ יד ןרעטלע עדייב .סעצנא עכילטע ןגעוו ןוא ,סיורג סעשטניא 3 ה"ס ,ןיילק רעד תעשב ,גאט א העש 24 רעייא יד ףיוא ןציז ןוא ןטיה טימ ךיז ןלייט .ןסע ןעגנאפ םורא טעילפ רעטייווצ 6 טימ ןסקאוו ךילגעט ןענעק ןוא ,ךאסא ראג ייז ןסע טייהרעניילק ,ןגייווצ טימ ןליפש וצ ןא ךיז ייז ןבייה רעסערג לסיבא גידנעייז .סעצנא ןכאוו 8-14 ךאנ ןוא - ןעגנאפ

Eagles build the largest nests in the world. The biggest one ever discovered was 10 feet wide, 20 feet deep and weighed close to 3 tons! Made of large twigs they are built on very tall, old trees, or, in certain places, on the ground. The nests have to be close to the water from where eagles obtain their food.

Adding fresh twigs each year, eagles use their nests for 4-5 years until it collapses under its own weight. There has, however, been a nest in use for 34 years.

The mother lays between 1-3 (usually 2)eggs in the nest. The eggs are approximately 3 inches large and weigh several ounces. Both parents take turns sitting upon the eggs 24 hours a day; while one gather food the other remains on guard.

While very young, eaglets eat a lot and can grow 6 ounces in a day. As they grow older they start playing with twigs, manipulating it with their claws, thereby gaining hunting skills. After 8-14 weeks they leave the nest.

Bald eagle

רעלדא רענאקירעמא

The American eagle is a majestic bird with a snowwhite head and tail, dark-brown body and deep yellow beak and feet.

Hakadosh Baruch Hu created eagles in a way which is unique to their needs: a vision 8 times sharper than that of the human vision (to hunt), razor-sharp nails (to capture prey), a pointed beak (for ease in eating) and large wings (to fly over water and capture prey).

רעשיטאטסעיאמ ,רעכילרעה א זיא רעלדא רענאקירעמא רעד -לקנוט ,לדייוו ןוא פאק עסייוו-יינש א טאה רעכלעוו ,לגיופ .סיפ ןוא לבאנש עלעג-ףיט ןוא רעפרעק רעניורב סאוו סעלא ןבעגעג ייז טאה םלוע-ארוב רעסיורג רעד א טימ ןגיוא :ןכיורבעג ערעייז ראפ לעיצעפס טנגייאעג זיא ,)ןעגנאפ ןענעק וצ( ןשטנעמ יוו רעסעב לאמ 8 טפארק-עז א ,)זייפש רעייז ןפאכ ןענעק וצ( לגענ עפראש-רעסעמ וצ( ןעלגילפ עסיורג ןוא )ןסע גנירג ןענעק וצ( לבאנש עגיציפש .)ןעגנאפ ןוא ןרעסאוו יד רעביא ןעילפ ןענעק

ןוא

ןרעפיצ ןוא ןטקאפ

ןיא ןטאטש עלא ,עדאנאק בור( עקירעמא םורד :ץאלפ )אקיסקעמ-םורד

רעסערג 25% תוביקנ ,טנופ 8-12 :גאוו .2 לאמ בור ,1-3 :רעייא סעשטניא 30-40 :ךעייה טיירפשעגסיוא ןעוו סיפ 6-7 :לגילפ

ךעל'היח עניילק ןוא לגיופ ךיוא רעבא שיפ רקיעב :ןסע 30+ ןטראג-רעיט ןיא ןוא טייהרעדליוו ראי 20 :ןבעל טנזיוט 150 :גנורעקלעפאב

TIDBITS

Habitat: North America (most of Canada, the U.S. and North Mexico)

Weight: 8-12 pounds, with females 25% larger

Eggs: 1-3, (usually 2)

Height: 30-40 inches

Wings: 6-7 feet when open

Food: Mostly fish, but also birds and small animals

Life Span: 20 in the wilderness, 30+ in zoos

Population: 150,000

טפיול בייל-םי א ןעוו ,לשיפ א טימ רעסאוו ןרעביא טעילפ רעלדא ןא .1 ...הדועס ןייז ןפאכוצקעווא ךאנ םיא סאמ עטסערג יד טימ דניק ןיילק רעייז ןרעטיפ עמאמ ןוא עטאט .2 .סיפ רעייז רעטנוא שיפ א ןופ ךעלקיטש גידנבעג ,טפאשיירטעג

פארא ךיז טזאל ,טיירפשעגסיוא ךילרעה ןעלגילפ יד טימ ,רעלדא ןא .3 .שיפ א ןפאכ וצ רעסאוו םוצ ןכאמנא ןעק עכלעוו ,לייז ןאפעלעט-לעס א ןטימניא טסענ ןזיר א .4 .ןעמעלבארפ ןוא סנדאש ןבאה עכלעוו ,רעדניק עניילק ייווצ

1. An eagle flies over water with a fish while a sea lion pursues them in want of a meal…

2. The devotion of parent eagles as they feed their eaglet from the fish that lies at their feet.

3. An eagle descends upon the water to capture a fish.

4. A large nest sits upon a cell phone tower with the potential to create damage.

5. A mother cares for her two young eaglets which still have their gray hairs and feathers.

6. Two eagles fight tooth and nail over coveted territory.

עקירעמא

.העש רעפ ליימ 35-40 ןשיווצ לאמראנ ,לענש ראג טעילפ רעלדא רעד 'ןווייד' רע ןעק ,לשיפ א ןפאכ רעסאוו םוצ פארא ךיז טזאל רע ןעוו רעבא !העש רעפ ליימ 99 זיב בור .טנעה יד רעטנוא טמוק סאוו ןסע ןוא םיקנופמ ןייק טשינ ןענעז ייז עניילק ,)רעייא רעייז ןוא( לגיופ ךיוא רעבא ,שיפ טראס עלא סאד זיא לאמ ןוא ,גנעלש ,)סעכאפערעשט ןוא סרעוויב ,סנאקער ,סלריווקס ,ןזאה( תויח ןסע ןעמענקעווא ךיוא ייז ןלעוו ,ןעגנאפ ץוח .שרעה-ןיילק א לאמוצ וליפא .םייריש ערעייז ןסע רעדא )לגיופ ןוא ןסקופ ,סיטאיאק( תויח ערעדנא ןופ ןקרעמאב ןוא ייז ןכוז טפארק-עז עראלק ןוא ןגיוא עפראש רעייז טימ ךיז ייז ןזאל טייקלענש-ץילב א טימ .רעסאוו ןיא ףיט וליפא שיפ יד לענש ןופ סיורא סע ןפעלש ןוא שיפ םעניא לגענ ערעייז ןיירא ןקעטש ,פארא .רעסאוו

3-6 טגעוו עכלעוו ,סיורג סעשטניא 15-25 זיב שיפ ןעגנאפ ןענעק ייז ןכאנ !טנופ 20-25 ןופ זייפש ןפעלש ןעזעג ןיוש ייז טאה ןעמ רעבא .טנופ .ש"פמ 30 ראנ ייז ןעילפ ,ךיז רעטנוא שיפ יד גידנפעלש ,ןעגנאפ

Eagles fly very quickly, usually between 35-40 mph. Above water, however, when the eagles descend to catch fish, they can dive up to 99 mph!

Eagles aren’t picky eaters and hunt for whichever food they can easily find. Most of their food consists of all types of fish, but they also eat birds (and their eggs), small animals (such as beavers, rabbits, raccoons, squirrels, etc.) snakes, and at times small deer. Additionally, they steal food from other animals (such as coyotes, foxes, and birds), or simply eat their leftovers.

With their sharp eyes and strong eyesight eagles can see fish deep below the water’s surface. They descend with lightning speed, stick their nails into the fish and pull their victim out of the water. They can capture fish of 15-25 inches long which weigh approximately 3-6 pounds. They have also been observed carrying fish as large as 20-25 pounds! After capturing their prey they fly at only 30 mph.

Beyond Summer Camp

Miriam Klein Adelman

WhenI was 13 years old and in the eighth grade, I was miserable. I hated school. I had no friends and really what more is there to say? If you have no friends in 8th grade, there’s not much else that makes life worth living.

The only thing that did make my life worth living was the three weeks of camp that I looked forward to every year. For the entire 11 months preceding August, I would dream, during the day and night about the summer. In camp, I was popular. I had lots of friends that were like me. In my out-oftown school that I had moved to in fifth grade, I was the frummy frummy of the class. I was also naturally shy so while some kids could pull off being different, I most definitely couldn’t. So, for four long years, from fifth through eighth grade, I lived for my three weeks in sleepaway camp. My parents had no idea how unhappy I was.

Maybe I didn’t feel like my needs were important enough, that it was worth bothering my parents about them. My parents had a family to take care of, a living to make, bills to pay. The fact that I had no friends seemed insignificant to me compared to that. Besides to my parents, family was the most important thing. I don’t think they understood how necessary friends are to growing children. I also think that perhaps because my mom was an only child, she assumed we'd be forever ecstatic because we had siblings.

Whatever the case was, I never breathed a word of my quiet desperation to her or to my father. But when camp rolled around, I turned from quiet mouse to party animal. I was usually the liveliest in my bunk, active in sports and dance. I participated in the Aqua Show at the end of the summer, doing daring cartwheels, handsprings, and backbends

off the diving board. I recall the old mattress in front of our bunk house that my friend, Elkie, and I would practice our flips on. Although my sportiness and acrobatic acumen in school made nary a difference to my classmates, in camp, everybody was impressed.

At night after curfew, my friends and I would sneak out of our bunks somehow always evading the ODs (“On Duty” counselors assigned to make sure no camper left her bunkhouse after ‘taps’). I remember one time my friends and I decided to give a little scare to our co-bunk. It was probably my idea. We crawled around to the back of the bunk and climbing on my friend’s shoulder, I rapped on the window. The window was level with the top bunk bed. When the girl on the top bunk saw a face in the window, she screamed. We booked it. The ODs with their flashlights came running, but we were safely in our bunk by then and I don’t think anybody ever found out whose face it was that appeared in that window that night. But those were the kinds of fun and essentially harmless things we got up to.

I was a different child in school. I’d hang around with the other nebby girls who had no friends. Occasionally, an “in” girl would deign to talk to me and I’d clutch on to the hope that finally I’d have a “friend”. It never lasted long. Soon enough I’d be back to spending my time fantasizing about camp.

Everything changed the summer of 8th grade. I remember spending hours in the bunkhouse with my friends, discussing the different high schools we’d all be attending. Everybody was excitedly telling each other which school they were going to. Except for me. For once, I was quiet and miserable. I knew where I was headed, and I looked forward to it the way that I’d look forward to someone dropping a bowling ball on my foot. My friends were talking about the differences between the various schools. Apparently, in school A, you could wear knee socks as opposed to schools B and C where you were only allowed to wear tights. The principal of school A was strict, and the girls in school B were very in-towny.

As my friends spoke, almost without my realizing it, an idea began to form in my head. What if I wouldn't have to go back to my out-of-town school? What if somehow, I could live in New York and go to one of the schools my friends were going to? As I started getting excited about my idea, the annoying little voices in my head began – Where will you live? It’s the end of the summer, you didn’t even take the high school exam. Mommy and Abba will never let! Yet, the idea grew stronger. Just maybe, maybe I could pull it off.

The next question was - Where did I want to go? It wasn’t enough to not want to return to my old school. I needed to come up with a name of the place I did want to attend. After “maturely” thinking it over, I concluded that I wanted to go to the school that allowed knee socks. While it’s true I was the class rebbetzin in my out-of-town school, by New York Bais Yaakov standards, I hardly think anybody would’ve called me that.

I wanted? chose? opted for? the knee socks route. Now I had to inform my parents of my decision. Right. In those days, we actually had to ask our parents about such things and if they said, no, it was no. With great trepidation, I wrote a postcard home pleading my case. Every day I checked the mail but there was never an answer to my postcard. Yes, I received other letters from my parents and

little siblings but there was only silence about the “Can I go to a high school in New York?” postcard.

I didn’t give up. The minute our bus arrived in Williamsburg, and I spotted my mother, I asked her if she got my postcard. “Yes,” she said. “But now’s not the time to discuss it. We’ll talk about it when we get home.” True to her word, as soon as we arrived home, she said, “Okay, Miriam, you want to go away for school. Where will you board? How do you know you’ll be accepted? School starts in two weeks! We have a tuition deal with our school here, who’s going to pay the high tuition cost?” She shot these questions at me, but I was ready. After all, I’d been thinking about them non-stop for the last two weeks.

“I’ll live with Aunt Sarah,” I said. Aunt Sarah was my father’s older single sister who lived by herself in Boro Park. Why I thought she’d want to share her home with a young teenager is probably proof of how out of touch with reality I was (or how desperate). “I’ll call up the new principal and ask for a meeting. I’ll work in the summer to pay for my tuition.

“Rabbi Leshkowitz (principal of the school in my hometown) is going to be upset that you’re leaving,” my mother countered. “He wants a more religious element in his school.”

“I’ll call him too and tell him why I’m leaving,” I said. Never mind my meekness in my hometown. I wasn't the type to address an authority figure of my own volition. But this time I was determined. And desperate.

My mother agreed to let me make the calls. That was a major move on her part.

I called up everyone and Rabbi Leshkowitz was indeed unhappy with the news that one of the Klein girls was leaving. Rabbi Perlman of the new high school, however, agreed to meet with me and Aunt Sarah actually agreed to let me live with her. (Wow! And yay!)

My story has a happy ending. I was accepted into the school of my choice and school in Brooklyn was really bliss. Although I worked summers to pay for my high school years, and sometimes after school, it was worth it.

I think the lesson we parents need to learn here is how vital peer relationships are to the healthy development of our preteens and teens.

One of my older daughters was unhappy in elementary school. I think. She never spoke about it until years later, after her marriage, when she briefly mentioned that she hadn’t many friends in elementary school. I knew she didn’t but since she never complained, I thought she was okay with it. (Now I worry that maybe she didn’t feel comfortable enough opening up and telling us.) Thankfully, when we moved to our new town, she started off on a different footing, becoming well-liked in her new class.

One of my younger children, however, let me know quite clearly from day one that she was unhappy in school. We switched her in 6th grade, and she blossomed. When I see her today beginning her last year of high school excited to return to her school friends, I’m thrilled for her. And grateful.

Times change, and parenting methods change, but at the heart of it all is open communication—a willingness to truly listen to our children's gripes and ideas. Thankfully, my parents gave me the opportunity in the end, and thankfully, I learned, and am still learning, how to give my own children such opportunities as well.

Photo Credit: JDN

Photo Credit: JDN

ל"צז קסנעזילמ ר"ומדאה ןופ טייצראי יד לגרל ןויצל הילע םייב החפשמה ינב ןוא םידיסח. Yohrtzeit of Lizensker Rebbe of Boro Park Marked

גרובסמאיליוו ןיא ריטראווקטפיוה ראופמ עיינ יד ןיא תוזוזמ עבוק זיא ראמטאסמ ר"ומדאה. The Satmar Rebbe affixes mezuzos at the new Mefo’ar headquarters in Williamsburg.

1 Brainteasers

Two English words that end in the letters gry are angry and hungry. Can you name a third word that ends in gry?

2

Moishe is Dr. Goldman’s son. Yet Dr. Goldman is not Moishe’s father. How is that possible?

Check out next week’s issue for answers.

Last Weeks Answers:

1. Twenty. Don’t skip all the 90’s. And remember that 99 has two 9’s.

2. There were only three people— a grandfather, his son, and his grandson.

Memorable Visit of Satmar Rebbe to Newly-Opened Meforah Judaica Location in Williamsburg

On Friday morning, the Rebbe of Satmar stopped by to visit the magnificent new Williamsburg storefront of Mefoar Judaica, the firm that has maintained its position at the forefront of the judaica retail scene over the years.

The new space on Wallabout St. between Marcy and Union has been renovated and furnished in recent months, and has now opened its doors to the community as a destination where shoppers of all ages will stop by for their religious shopping needs.

The Rebbe was invited to put up the mezuzahs in the new storefront, and on Friday morning, he was joined by three of his sons to mark this memorable occasion. The Rebbe himself affixed the mezuzah on the main entrance before directing his son, the Rav of Sigit, to put up another mezuzah. The world-renowned community askan R’ Zelig Mendlowitz was also present during the event.

Upon performing the mitzvah, the Rebbe was taken on a tour of the store, where he spent a lengthy period of time observing the many products that Mefoar Judaica has

produced to meet the requirements of beautifying Hashem’s mitzvohs. He observed how Klal Yisroel is willing and ready to spend great sums to perform these holy mitzvohs on the highest standards.

The Rebbe specifically remarked on how Mefoar has gone to great lengths to produce many different types of tzitzis, designed to meet 40 distinct halachic opinions of how tzitzis should be manufactured. A conversation was then spearheaded by the Rebbe regarding the many different halachos involved in tzitzis production.

At the conclusion of the visit, store owner R’ Yakov Dovid Roth handed over a large number of hand-produced silk gartels for the Rebbe to distribute to his family ahead of the upcoming Yom Tov season. The Rebbe expressed extreme gratitude for his kindhearted gesture.

The attended then sang a song to thank Hashem for helping lead to this big moment, and the Rebbe then shared his warmest wishes that this endeavor should be greeted with much success.

Junior Vibes

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Send the photo to: contest@lakewoodvibes.com with your name, age, & phone number.

Junior Vibes

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No Talking in Shul

Contest

Hodu… Baruch Sheamar… Shema…

Imagine a shul where everyone is focused intensely on their tefillos and there are no outside noises whatsoever. Imagine the hum of davening and kedusha in that shul. The malachim carrying prayers directly up to the holy throne…

Ensure that your shul is right there at the forefront by joining the No Talking in Shul Contest now!

To join the No Talking in Shul Contest, fill out the form after Shabbos and submit it to contest@lakewoodvibes.com for our $25/ $35 raffle.

5. A parent’s signature must be affixed to the form. How it Works: 1.

1. Four winners will be selected each week over the duration of this initiative.

2. You must attend all three tefillos to be eligible for the raffle.

3. If you didn’t talk during tefillos on Friday night, Shabbos day, and Shabbos afternoon, you are eligible for the $25 prize.

4. If you didn’t talk during all three tefillah times and attended leining, you are eligible for the $35 prize.

Winners of last weeks contest: Yosef Stewart, Yeedle Eisenbach, Y. Altman, Eli Berger

Name: ___________________________________________________

Yeshiva: ___________________________________________________

Phone Number: __________________________________________

Parent’s Signature: _______________________________________

CHECK OFF THE TEFILLOS THAT YOU WERE IN SHUL FOR AND REFRAINED FROM TALKING:

Friday night Shabbos day

Shabbos afternoon Leining

The Chasam Sofer writes that shuls that shun idle chatter will be rebuilt during the times of Moshiach.

A NEW PROPOSAL

A DATABASE IS BEING CREATED FOR NON-CHASSIDISH YOUNG WOMEN WILLING TO DATE MODERATELY-CHASSIDISH, FINE, WORKING MEN.

IS THIS SOMETHING YOU WOULD CONSIDER?

EMAIL US TO BE ADDED TO OUR DATABASE, AMECHADRESUMES1@GMAIL.COM

There’s a School Located…. Where?

By. Malkie Schulman

When most people hear the word “school” they probably picture a regular building with desks, textbooks, and hallways. Words like boat, cave, underground bunker, or mountaintop probably don’t pop into their heads. Well, read on to learn about some cool school located in precisely such locations.

THE FREE SCHOOL

Unusual schools are not just reserved for the other side of the world or even the other side of the country. The Free School ,located in our very own Brooklyn, New York, has a very interesting approach. The Free School's idea is that children are naturally curious and learn best when they want to, not when they’re forced.

A sample of a day’s schedule at the Brooklyn Free School may thus include: chess, debate, filming horror movies, and constructing caves for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (Imagine coming home and telling your parents that you spent the day in school creating a horror movie!) At Brooklyn Free School, there are no grades, no homework, and no tests. Students don’t even have to go to class if they don’t want to.

Once a week, Free School students and staff members meet to make announcements, talk about their concerns, and discuss how best to work on the management of the school. Students usually run the meetings and except for health and safety issues, students and staff members have equal decision-making power. Now, which kid wouldn’t want to go to that kind of school?

SICHUAN CHINA

Imagine going to school by climbing up vine ladders for an hour and a half. Well, that is exactly what the children of the 200-year-old Atule’er clifftop village in the Sichuan province of China used to do! The climb, however, was so risky that the school decided to help them out by opening boarding facilities so that children only had to go home (via vine ladder!) twice a month. Eventually, the vine ladders separating the village from the school were replaced by ladders of steel. But even those ladders were too dangerous causing the government to step in and move the village to a safer spot Now, students don’t need to do any more dangerous mountain climbing to get to school! Talk about learning from everything!

A SCHOOL ON A BUS

Many children, especially in the United States, take a bus to school. But what if the bus was the school?

In Karachi, Pakistan, poverty and lack of education are problems. To help, the Citizens Education Development Foundation created a mobile school bus in 1993. The bus tours different neighborhoods every day, delivering four sessions of two hours each to approximately 160 poverty-stricken children aged five to 14 in the different communities. Tuition is free and besides the teachers who do get paid, the rest of the staff are volunteers.

A SCHOOL ON A BOAT

During monsoon season in Bangladesh, a country in Southern Asia, you can bet on hearing a lot of rain in the weather forecast. A monsoon is a major wind system that brings wet summers and dry winters to the areas where they blow. From June to September heavy rains and torrential downpours are a big problem, causing rivers to overflow and flood the country. All this flooding makes regular school buildings unusable. To keep kids learning during this time however, a local organization in Bangladesh came up with a solution by making schools on boats! The floating boat schools pick up students from the riverbanks each morning and then dock on the water for lessons. Space in the boat classrooms is a bit tight, with students often crammed together to face the teacher and the blackboard. Nevertheless, the school are a creative and cool way to make sure education doesn’t stop, even in the middle of a monsoon!

A SCHOOL ON A TRAIN STAITION

“If the children can’t come to the school, we must bring the school to them.” When schoolteacher, Inderjit Khurana, rode the train to work each day, she saw many school-age children begging from train passengers. Her heart went out these children when she learned that many of them were homeless.

“Why aren’t you in school?' She asked a little boy one day as she watched him sweep the floor of her train carriage.

“My father’s dead, and my mother needs my help," the boy answered. Hearing the boy's response, Inderjit felt she had to do something to help. She understood that these children needed to follow the train schedules to survive and came up with the solution of opening a school at the train station.

Inderjit opened her first railway platform school more than 25 years ago. Today her organization, Ruchika, runs twelve platform schools, six nurseries, 75 slum schools, 20 nursery schools, two “schools on wheels" and more. The schools also provide supplementary nutrition and medical care for the students and their families.

A SCHOOL UNDERGROUND

Abo Elementary School was built during the Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union as a fallout shelter in case of a nuclear attack. This underground school in Artesia, New Mexico, United States had everything it needed to keep students safe in the event that the two superpowers indeed went to war. The school had everything from a decontamination center to ration stores. But imagine going underground to school every day due to the possibility of a nuclear war. Students at Abo Elementary School felt fear daily. They worried about being orphaned if a war happened and about whether there would be enough space underground for everyone's parents, to keep safe if all-out war erupted. The school closed in the 90’s after the Cold War ended. In 1999, it was added to the National Register of Historic Places and today it's used as a storage facility.

Photo

A SCHOOL IN A CAVE

The Dongzhong Mid-Cave Primary School in the mountain village of Miao, China is, as its name indicates –a school in a cave! (In Chinese, “Dongzhong” means "in cave"). The people of this village were so poor they couldn’t afford a school building. For nearly 30 years they resolved their education issues by turning a nearby giant cave into a school. This cave was naturally carved inside the village mountain due to thousands of years of wind, rain and earthquakes.

From 1984 to 2011, the cave served as a one-room schoolhouse. But then the Chinese government heard about it and grew embarrassed, “China is not a society of cavemen,” a government spokesman said. The government closed down the school in 2011—as a step up for their country. Former teacher, Xi Lun Chin, however disagreed. He viewed the school as a great place for kids to learn, saying: “The acoustics were great. We had the best choir. There were also all kinds of rock formations on the walls which made for interesting geology lessons. And we didn’t need biology books. We had bats and lizards around all day!”

Talk about learning from everything!

SICHUAN CHINA

Imagine going to school by climbing up vine ladders for an hour and a half. Well, that is exactly what the children of the 200-year-old Atule’er clifftop village in the Sichuan province of China used to do! The climb, however, was so risky that the school decided to help them out by opening boarding facilities so that children only had to go home (via vine ladder!) twice a month.

Eventually, the vine ladders separating the village from the school were replaced by ladders of steel. But even those ladders were too dangerous causing the government to step in and move the village to a safer spot Now, students don’t need to do any more dangerous mountain climbing to get to school!

Talk about learning from everything!

A SCHOOL IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS

A School in the Great Outdoors

If you know someone aged three to six who can't get enough of the outdoors, then forest kindergartens might be just the thing. These kindergartens are situated in the middle of forests, no matter what the weather is like. Yep, that means rain, snow, and even hail won't stop these little adventurers…ahem, students… from having a blast!

Children who attend forest kindergartens dress in layers during the winter and on really cold days, the teacher sometimes builds a roaring campfire. Of course, it's not just about staying warm; it's about discovering the wonders of nature.

In forest kindergartens, young kids learn to embrace nature's challenges while living it up outdoors. Children play, learn, and tackle their fears head-on –whether it's heights or bugs – all while surrounded by trees and wildlife.

Photo Credit: JDN

GULU, CHINA

Imagine waiting for the school bus in the pouring rain or walking to school in an inch of snow? You might as well be imagining the journey that children from Gulu Village in China made to their elementary school every day. Their school, also known as the School in the Clouds, involved a five-hour trek up a mountain with narrow passages and sharp turns daily. Classrooms in this school were made of mud, and the roof leaked, and there were no bathrooms. But then, devoted teacher Shen Qijun began teaching in the school in 1985 and she encouraged the villagers to rebuild the school. The new concrete school building was made of concrete and boasted five classrooms and one bathroom. A basketball court and blackboard with two wooden posts were also built in front of the school building. Of course, to avoid losing their balls down the mountain, the boys had to play very carefully, probably upping their playing skills. The new school building stayed around until November 18, 2011—a short while after the first newspaper article about the school was published and donations began to come in so that the school was able to move to a new building at the base of the mountain

TANJUNG SANGHYYANG, INDOESIA

To reach their school in this village, Indonesian students must cross a broken suspension bridge running above the Ciberang River. Children grasp the side steel bars of this bridge to reach the other side . But here's the thing: There's another bridge in the area that's safer to use. However, the kids like using the broken bridge because it saves them an extra 30 minutes of walking. Almost like Goldilocks and her unsafe little shortcut! Hope they don't meet any bears along the way.

In the beis midrash of Rabban Gamliel, a heated controversy erupts over whether Maariv is optional or obligatory….

I cannot deny it! I did indeed say that Maariv is optional!

Rabban Gamliel sat and taught Torah while Rabbi Yehoshua stood on his feet, and the people murmured in complaint.

Stop! Do not interpret!

That way Rabbi Yehoshua will be able to sit down…

If we appoint Rabbi Yehoshua as rosh yeshivah, it will cause pain to Rabban Gamliel.

And if we appoint Rabbi Akiva, Rabban Gamliel might be upset at him and cause him to be punished, and Rabbi Akiva doesn’t have zechus avos to protect him!

Soon, when the interpreter gets up and begins his explanation, we will quiet him!

This is not the first time Rabban Gamliel has pained Rabbi Yehoshua.

We must remove Rabban Gamliel from the position of rosh yeshivah!

But who will we appoint in his place?

I have an idea! Let’s make Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah the rosh yeshivah!

Indeed, Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah is wise, and he will be able to answer the questions he is asked. He is wealthy, so he can give the emperor gifts that will appease him so that he will not harm the Jews. And he is a tenth-generation descendant of Ezra HaKohen, so he has zechus avos!

Yes, Rabbosai, what is it?

Does Rabbeinu agree to assume the position of rosh yeshivah?

I must consult with my wife first.

All right. Please give us an answer as soon as possible.

The Sages have offered me the position of rosh yeshivah. What do you think?

Will they demote you as soon as they find someone else?

You know, there is a saying that goes, “It is better to use an expensive glass cup one day, even if it might break tomorrow…”

But you don’t have a white beard, as fitting for a rosh yeshivah…

That day, a miracle happened to Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah. Even though he was only eighteen years old, eighteen rows of white hair grew in his beard! It was a sign that in Shamayim they approved his appointment.

I accept the position…

After a heated controversy erupts in the beis midrash, Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah is appointed rosh yeshivah in place of Rabban Gamliel…

The Sages, with Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah at their head, enter the home of Rabbi Dosa ben Harkinas.

Na’ar hayisi, v’gam zakanti! I was a young boy, and I saw Ezra HaSofer. And now I am an old man, and I see Rabbi Elazar, his tenth-generation descendant, become the rosh yeshivah!

On the day that Rabbi Elazar was appointed rosh yeshivah, the yeshivah’s entrance policy was changed.

Rabban Gamliel insisted that only talmidim who were checked and found to be truly worthy could enter the beis midrash. He posted a guard at the entrance to the beis midrash to make sure no one else came in…

No! Rabban Gamliel does not allow you to enter!

But Rabbi Elazar felt that it was not necessary to be so strict, and anyone who wished to come and learn should be allowed in.

From now on, anyone can enter the beis midrash. Don’t stand at the door and don’t stop people from coming…

On that day, many more talmidim came to the beis midrash

Some say that another four hundred benches were added to the beis midrash that day!

In his dream, Rabban Gamliel was shown white jugs filled with ashes.

I understand what the dream means! The talmidim who came to learn Torah in the beis midrash today are not the way they look on the outside. They are not as worthy as they seem…

Perhaps all this time I have prevented Torah from being studied in Klal Yisrael! Look, four hundred benches were added to the beis midrash!

And Rabban Gamliel, who was filled with love for Torah, did not stop coming to learn in the beis midrash, even though he had been demoted.

On that day, when Rabbi Elazar first became the rosh yeshivah, Maseches Eduyos was taught, and all unresolved questions were answered!

Lakewood Vibes Mega Tour with Mehadrin Ice Cream throughout Lakewood

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Email address for contest form: contest@lakewoodvibes.com

Vibes of Taste

Blueberry Muffins With Crumble Topping

Bracha Shifrin

With back-to-school season in full swing, I wanted to create an easy, grab-and-go snack that incorporates fresh fruit. This muffin recipe is not only a delightful treat but also a way to sneak in those nutritious blueberries, making back to school snacks a tad healthier and more flavorful.

Yield: Approximately 12 muffins

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups All-purpose flour

2/3 cup Sugar

2 tsp Baking powder

1/2 cup Vegetable oil

2 large Eggs

1/2 cup Almond milk

1 tsp Vanilla extract

Zest of 1 lemon

7 ozs Fresh blueberries

For the Crumble Topping:

3 tbsp Sugar

1/4 cup All-purpose flour

2 tbsp Oil

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C). Line a muffin tin with paper liners or grease with non-stick spray.

2. In a large bowl, combine the sugar and lemon zest until the mixture turns light yellow and has a fluffy texture.

3. Beat the eggs into the sugar mixture one at a time, incorporating them well. Gradually add the vegetable oil, almond milk, and vanilla extract, mixing until well combined.

4. In a separate bowl, whisk together the all-purpose flour and baking powder. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture, stirring until just combined.

5. Gently fold the fresh blueberries into the mixture and set the batter aside.

6. Prepare the crumble topping by combining the sugar, all-purpose flour, and oil in a small bowl. Mix with your fingers or a fork until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

7.Fill 2/3 of each muffin cup with batter and sprinkle with the crumble topping.

8. Bake in the preheated oven for 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

9. Remove the muffins from the oven and allow them to cool in the tin for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Bracha Shifrin

These cookies are my go-to fare anytime I want a snack that balances good taste and health. The wholesome oats are nourishing to bite into so that each cookie is just delightful. Enjoy filling your cookie jar with them — or make them for your children to take with to school.

Yield: 24 Cookies

Ingredients:

1 cup Margarine, softened

1 cup Brown sugar, packed

1/2 cup Granulated sugar

2 large Eggs

1 teaspoon Pure vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups All-purpose flour

1 teaspoon Baking soda

1/2 teaspoon Salt

1 teaspoon Ground cinnamon

3 cups Old-fashioned rolled oats

1 cup Chocolate chips

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350°F, and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. In a large bowl, cream the softened margarine, brown sugar, and granulated sugar until smooth and well combined.

3. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla extract.

4. In a separate bowl, whisk the all-purpose flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Gradually add the dry ingredient mixture to the margarine and sugar mixture, stirring until just blended.

5. Fold in oats and chocolate chips into the mixture.

6. Drop round tablespoonfuls of dough onto the prepared baking sheets. Leave about 2 inches of space between cookies.

7.Bake in the preheated oven for 12 minutes, or until the cookies edges are a golden brown and the center is still soft. The exact time may vary based on your oven, so keep an eye on your cookies!

8. Remove the trays from the oven and allow the cookies to cool on the baking sheets for several minutes before transfering to wire racks to cool completely.

תיטרפ החגשה

Writing Contest Writing Contest

I missed the bus, and then I saw someone who really needed my help…

I was out babysitting and one of the kids had a strange-looking wart. I knew that my mother would know just the right way to treat it…

I was lost and crying when a woman offered to help me. Turned out that she was my mother’s seminary roommate!

Kids, tell us your stories of hashgacha pratis in 300 words or less and have your story featured in Lakewood Vibes!

The writer of the best (longest, most creative, and most exciting) story will win a $100 gift certificate!

א טבעלעג טימ ריא טאה ,רעדניק

טאה ?תיטרפ החגשה א ןופ השעמ

םעד ,ןפוא ןעסיוועג א ןיא ןעזעג ריא

טייהנעגעלעג יד אד טאה רהיא ?’ה די

רעדא רעטרעוו 300 השעמ רעייא ןעביירש וצ

,זנוא וצ ןיירא סאד טקיש ןוארעגינייוו

ךאוו עדעי .ןקורד סאד ןליוו רימ לייוו

טקוק סאוו השעמ ןייא ןעמענ רימ ןלעוו

ןוא טנאסערעטניא עטסרעמ יד סיוא

ןעקירד סאד ןלעוו רימ

$100

ןעניוועג טנעק רהיא

Send all entries to: Contest@lakewoodvibes.com

Subject: Hashgacha Pratis Story

Include your name and age with each entry.

I woke up early, right after the sun had fully rose into the sky. I wasn't in such a good mood, after all, there were no more books for me to read! It was a catastrophe! What would I do?! Grumbling under my breath, I got dressed and walked downstairs. As I was eating, a magazine sitting on the table caught my eye. What did it say on the front cover? 'Lakewood Vibes'. Finally, something for me to read! I reached for it and started reading. "This is just perfect", I thought as I looked at an ad for a writing contest. I loved writing almost as much as I love reading! I was going to enter in the contest, and hopefully I would win. I was anyways in need of some pocket money. When my story was complete, as sat on the couch waiting in anticipation for the next issue of the 'Lakewood Vibes' to see if I won. What Hashgacha Pratis! Something for me to look forward to reading every week! Thank You Hashem!

One time, my cousin gave us two all-year-round robes. We forgot about it for a long time and then one time, we remembered it! We tried it on and it fit us perfectly. Now we have a stunning robe!!!

My grandfather used to work at the World Trade Center (Twin Towers). On Monday, September 10, 2001, after work, my grandfather left his car in the W.T.C. parking garage and went in a taxi to the airport to go to Toronto, Canada for a wedding that night. The next morning, a “regular” sunny Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001 8:48, a plane crashed into the North Twin Tower! About an hour later it fell down. There was an enormous crash when it hit the ground. Then, at about 9:05 another plane crashed into the South Twin Tower – there was another enormous crash when the second Twin hit the ground. Hundreds of people were either dead or injured. Very few made it out. However, my grandfather, having stayed in Toronto overnight did not go to work that morning so nothing happened to him. Had he not gone to the wedding, he would have been in the twin towers at 9:00 since he was always on time to work. The next morning, at the airport in Canada, where he was scheduled to fly home, he heard what happened. He was VERY thankful to Hashem.. [However, his car was under the parking- garage (under both Twins was a parkinggarage) and was destroyed in the piles of rubble]. Of course he did not care about his car even though it was only about a year old, after all, what would you rather, life new car? You would probably pick life.

Baila Friedman, 12

Malky B, 10

Yisroel A, 14

Announcing J BIZ EXPO 2023 at Harrahs Waterfront Conference Center Atlantic City

The Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce is thrilled to announce its highly-anticipated 2023 JBiz Expo and Conference (www.JBizExpo.com) will be taking place at the prestigious Harrahs Waterfront Conference Center in Atlantic City taking place on December 18th and 19th, 2023.

Over the past decade, J BIZ EXPO has been hosted at various venues, including the NJ Convention Exposition Center and Meadowlands Expo Center. Over the past three years, due to the challenges brought by COVID-19, it was held outdoors at the BlueClaws ballpark, making it the only Expo on the East Coast in 2020. However, today, we are absolutely delighted to announce that this year's event will be returning indoors bigger and better at the incredible Harrahs Waterfront Conference Center in Atlantic City.

The JBiz Expo truly is an unparalleled opportunity for businesses in all sectors to gain maximum exposure and expand their networks by making new connections. In fact, we've organized a delightful cocktail reception the evening before the expo floor opens, allowing attendees and exhibitors to network while enjoying the amenities of the hotel and the vibrant atmosphere of Atlantic City. By exhibiting or sponsoring at the expo, businesses can showcase their company and attract new clients - it's an incredible opportunity.

This year's expo’s mission is all about fostering strong connections and partnerships among Jewish and non-Jewish businesses, alliances, countries, and trade networks in the private sector. It's an inclusive platform that provides an amazing opportunity for businesses from all communities, Countries and industries to expand their reach and knowledge making the big world smaller by Uniting the World VIA Commerce.

Since its inception in 2012, J-Biz has set the gold standard for B2B networking and has since become the largest and most prestigious event of its kind.

We carefully chose the Harrah's Waterfront Conference Center as our venue because we want to not only restore the event to its full capacity and trademark luxury and convenience but also take it to new heights. This opulent $147 million premises will provide the perfect setting for the expo and offer accommodation for those staying overnight.

The JBiz Expo has an absolutely robust program lined up, including conferences, presentations by business leaders, workshops, discussions on women in the workforce, coaching sessions, speed networking, and general networking opportunities. In the passed J Biz had the privilege of hosting prominent figures as it’s keynotes such as the United States Secretary of Labor, Governor Phil Murphy, Anthony

Scaramucci, Israeli Council General, trade ministers, and CEOs of Fortune 500 companies as keynote speakers in the past.

With its rich history of helping communities and businesses flourish, the JBiz Expo has become an essential event for business owners and business professionals to connect.

The Expo attracts both everyday businessmen Jewish and Non Jewish, high-ranking business leaders and government officials from around the globe. By uniting the world through commerce and building bridges among all communities and religions, J Biz Expo helps make the big world smaller giving businesses and attendees of all sectors races and religions an opportunity to grow their client base and networks.

The J-Biz Expo is versatile and appealing, making it an incredible resource for access, connection, and expansion at every level within the business ecosystem. It caters to businesses looking to secure new clients, forge partnerships, and stay updated on the latest developments in the business world.

As an organization deeply involved in hosting networking events year-round, the J-Biz Expo serves as the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce’s (www.OjChamber.com) grand finale, showcasing our vast network that extends beyond the Jewish business community into the national and global marketplace. Having been chosen by the U.S. Department of Commerce to participate as a World Trade Week partner and recently hosting world Trade Week in NYC on its behalf, we have invited governments from around the world to join us, with dedicated pavilions for each. This ensures an international and unique atmosphere, providing governments and individuals with unprecedented access to new markets.

We've got an incredible program planned for the event, and it all starts with a fabulous cocktail reception on the evening before the main affair. This will allow attendees who are staying overnight to connect and socialize, and giving those arriving by air the opportunity to fly directly to Atlantic City International airport. As a Proud Community Member of the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of commerce Special discount codes are being offered by Turkish Airlines for those flying in from other countries. Additionally, the venue's newly renovated tower provides great pricing for accommodations booked by JBiz expo Exhibitors & attendees. Plus, the event's location makes it easily accessible for those traveling from New Jersey, New York and Maryland.

The 2023 JBiz Expo committee comprises esteemed individuals such as Congressmen Andy Kim and Chris Smith, Senator Robert W. Singer, Deputy Minority Leader; Joel Eisdorfer, Senior Advisor to Mayor Eric Adams; and Duvi Honig, founder and CEO of the Orthodox Jewish Chamber of Commerce.

Classifieds

Classified Rates:

- To ensure placement of your classified ad you must pay for your ad.

- ALL RATES ARE PER WEEK.

1 Week ------------------------------$22

5 Weeks -----------------------------$20

12 Weeks ----------------------------$16

25 Weeks ----------------------------$14

50 Weeks ----------------------------$12

Each addionatal line ----------------$3

Bold additional ---------------------$3

- Deadline for paid classifieds placements is ----------------- Monday, 5:00 PM.

- Fax or email your classified ad to: 732-930-2501

classifieds@lakewoodvibes.com

Free Classifieds:

The following categories are free:

- Lost and found

- Merchandise for sale

- L’shem Mitzvah

- Gemach

- All free classifieds are not guaranteed.

- Must be faxed or emailed Wednesday or Thursday.

Excluding service and business ads.

CLASSIFIEDS

Apartment for rent

Oak and Vine, upstairs apt, $3500 Call 917.714.8341

Chateau, basement apt, nicely redone $1600 Call 917.714.8341

River wood chase, beautiful, nice house $3300 Call 917.714.8341

Oak and Vine, basment apt, $2100 Call 917.714.8341

Oak meadows, Sheraton drive, 3br/2b beautiful spacious apt Text/whatsapp 917.554.6559

Toms River, St. Regis area, 4br/3b brand new house $5000 Call or text 718.791.4181

Oak and Vine, 5br/3.5 bath, duplex Call 929.216.0413

Oak and vine, private house 3br/2b Call 212.596.8887

Vine Park, Belz, 3br/1b, beautiful furnished apt Call 917.589.1845

Rockwell, Cross st, 2br/1.5 bath, perfect condition Call 347.633.3497

Vacation Rental

Monticello, Beautiful house for sukkos, $7000 Call 347.903.1072

Help Wanted

Data Entry Position South Lakewood

Seeking FT Secretary, Monday/Thurs 9-5, F 9-12, Data entry, Basic computer skills, inc. QB, Send resume: Route9jobs@gmail.com or text 347.903.1072

Bais Faiga. Must Drive. Call 323.821.2947

Real Estate office in lakewood looking to hire a FT Bookeeper 347.860.1578

Chassidish Girls School

Looking to Hire Experienced Primary afternoon teacher 12:453:00. Great pay. Warm environment. Yiddish speaking is a must. Please email resume to info@ sanzlakewood.org

Children’s Clothing Sales

Looking for F/T & P/T saleswoman for children’s clothing store. Sundays are a must.

Please call/text/WhatsApp 347.388.6427

RECRUITING AGENCIES

SalesTeamStaffing.com

A specialized recruiting agency for companies seeking connected, Sales Professionals from their Industry.

Add significantly to your bottom line. (Over two decades experience)

Phone: 201-815-2636 Email: Reps@SalesTeamStaffing.com, Guaranteed Results

Lost and Found

Lost

A pink baby blanket on spruce street on 8/27

Please call 732.568.2645

Found

Mp3 player, divrei torah, call 732.896.8798

Merchandise For Sale

Coat

Boys wool coat, franco palino size 18, brand new w/tags, $69.99 call 732.994.7106

Mother of the bride size 10-12, sister of the bride size 2-4, teen size 0-2. call/text 848-448-1115

Jewlery selling gold double strand tennis earrings, barely worn, $1250. please call or text 7326640542

Van For Sale

2017 Toyota sienna xle White exterior, beige interior, 8 passenger, runs great, clean body, 56k miles, 26k miles Call/Text / whatsapp 732.685.2503

Shiurim

Reb Shalom Mordchai Rubashkin’s Wednesday night shiur. Every other week at Khal Agudas Achim. Text “shiur” to 866.603.4249 to receive a reminder on that day. Recordings are available on Torah Anytime 718.298.2077 ext.1932

Babysitting

Warm caring experienced babysitter. References available. 347.731.0221

Plumber

Emergency late hour service

All your plumbing needs 347.383.4660

Looking for a Shadow For an adorable 2nd grader in

Gown

Custom Ivory gowns for sale.

REAL ESTATE SECTION

Price Reduced

1153 Idalia Ave, Lakewood

Amazing opportunity! Lakewood‘s hottest neighborhood, Chestnut! Five bedrooms, two kitchens, two laundry, four outdoor porches, this luxury expanded ranch has cathedral ceiling, wood flooring and so much more!

Coming Soon!

Country Place!

Beautifully renovated! In best location! Call for details!

Fairways

35 Ivy Hill, Lakewood

Gorgeous renovated fully detached home in amazing location, all hardwood floors, white quartz counters and so much more!

Shul Opportunity

6 Meadow Run, Jackson

Magnificent 6 bedroom, 4.2 bath home in amazing location, two minute drive to all Kosher/shopping.

Pristine maintenance, incredible basement, breathtaking backyard with pool, outdoor cooking & another bathroom!

New Listing!

1181 Shepherd Way, Toms River

Stunning edifice, a warm gorgeous home, beauty, luxury and practicality all wrapped up in one incredible package! Gorgeous block & park like backyard!