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Ilike to think of the first week of school as a crossroads. Wherever we / our children have just come from — be it camps, bungalows, exciting summer adventures, or endless days of ‘what should we do next, Mommmmmmy?’ — everything will fade to nothingness as they / we stand before the great intersection underneath the signpost labeled: The New School Year.
Will we / our children get along with the new teacher?
Will our children’s friendships be smooth sailing, easy, and productive, or will they c”v take our children along a risky, curvy road?
How will our children take to the schoolwork? Will they be able to press the gas pedal and speed off with it, or will they need to keep their foot on the brake pedal for a while?
What will the gas stations out there have to offer?
At the beginning of the new school year, the road ahead often seems glamorous and sparkly, but the truth is that a lot of the journey ahead will be determined by the paths traversed thus far. There’s room for improvement, there always is, but how well-oiled our cars are, whom we’re riding, and how well we can read the signposts will determine a lot about what the journey will look like.
Last week, I was at a major intersection in Eretz Yisroel. Last week, everyone was on summer vacation still, remember — and the parks, beaches, and other recreational avenues were all full.
I was trying to find a bus stop in the center of the country. A stop with a bus that would take me and my daughters to a separate beach in the area.
“Excuse me,” I asked a stranger who suddenly appeared beside me from seemingly nowhere. “Can you please tell me which bus stop we need if we’re looking for a bus that will take us to Rechov Dizingoff?”
“Rechov Dizingoff?” the woman repeated. “What sort of business do you have on Rechov Dizingoff? Shouldn’t you be asking about a bus to Yerushalayim?”
The woman’s reaction made me laugh. It was obvious — to me, at least — that with our large bags and assorted beach paraphernalia we were not headed to Ir Hakodesh but from a city close to it. Still, to that woman — a random stranger at a crossroads — our tzniusdike way of dress meant that we were representatives of the holy city.
We should have been headed there.
Yerushalayim, which we face in shemonah esreh and mention five times in the tefillah, is the focal part of our lives as Yidden.
It’s where we’re headed from, and it’s where we’re headed toward.
As our children stand at this crossroads of the new school year, as we do our best to make sure that their car is fully loaded and that the road up ahead is as safe and as well-paved as possible, let’s remember that at the end of the day all roads (read: grades, stations in life, and sign posts in life) really lead to Yerushalayim.
May the upcoming year be a year of kiddush Hashem in all realms.
Wishing all students, teachers, and parents a year of brachah, success, and growth
. The Lakewood Vibes Editorial Team
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The crossing of the Jordan River into Eretz Yisrael, led by Yehoshua after decades of wandering in the desert, was one of the most surreal moments in our history. All of the pain, anxiety, and frustration of the last forty years coming to an end; and all of the excitement, nervousness, and anticipation was pulsing through our veins. The moment we were dreaming of was finally happening.
But what took place smack in the middle of the river was strange.
While marching through the river, Yehoshua screamed for all to halt .
“Stop!” he roared.
After getting everyone’s attention, he declared:
“My fellow Jews, before we enter the land, Hashem wants us to erect twelve stones, one for each shevet, and write the Torah on each one. He wants us to place them in the ground in the middle of the river. We are to leave them there forever.”
So, in one of the most unusual events in Jewish history, the entire Jewish people stood in the middle of the miraculously split Jordan River, found twelve stones, inscribed the Torah on each one of them, and then planted them all in the ground. They then got up and walked for the very first time into Eretz Yisrael, the river crashing back down on the path they had just walked, swallowing the stones whole.
What exactly were those stones supposed to do? What good were stone monuments that got flooded mere minutes after being erected? Wouldn’t waiting to erect those stones until after we crossed the river and entered the land make a lot more sense?
To Start an Empire
As strange as it seems, our head-scratching mid-river behavior was actually precisely on theme with a major concept found throughout Judaism. A theme that is likewise found in this parshah.
The parshah discusses the coronation of a Jewish king. Buried in the middle of all the king’s rules and regulations is an innocent-looking pasuk that subliminally contains a powerful ingredient for the king’s success. The pasuk (17:18) states, “V’haya k’shivto al kisei malchuso” — as the king sat down on his throne for the very first time, he was to write a small Torah scroll and clutch it close at all times, not going anywhere without it. Meetings. Trips abroad. Battlefields. The Torah scroll was to remain bound to his arm.
At first glance, this seems to mean that after ascending the throne and establishing his kingship, the king was to write a sefer Torah. But if you look a little closer, points out Rabbi Tzvi Einstadter, a Rebbi in Ner Yisrael in Baltimore, the Torah seems to go out of its way to specifically command the king to write the Torah precisely as he is in the process of sitting on his throne. The Torah seems to be saying that the success of the king is predicated on the injection and infusion of Torah into his kingship — literally as he sits down on his throne. Not five days later. Not when the party stops. Not when he gets comfortable. From the very first minute.
As Rav Einstadter explains, the yetzer hara (evil inclination) plays a deceptive psychological trick on us. It’s called the power of “later.” Instead of telling us to
Hillel Eisenberg
push away obligations entirely, he merely tells us to do them later. By mentally pushing things off until later, we satisfy our inner conscience, telling ourselves that we will do it — just later — and at the same time we don’t actually have to exert the effort in doing it. This psychological trick is devastating, for later is often the first step to never.
The Torah is telling us something powerful. At the very beginning of each of the many stages of our lives there must be an infusion of holiness, and waiting beyond the beginning means waiting far too long.
Don’t Wait!
While we were marching through the Jordan River to the Promised Land, Hashem commanded us to stop. He wasn’t going to allow us to walk into the land, get comfortable, figure out where the coffee shops are, paint our homes, and build bakeries; oh, no! He wanted us to infuse the absolute earliest moment of our entry into the Holy Land with Torah. He wanted us to inject holiness and sanctity from the get-go. Right in the middle of the raging river. Not a moment later.
We weren’t erecting those twelve stones to be a tourist attraction for our grandchildren. We knew that those stones wouldn’t be seen by human eyes the moment we walked out of the river. We were writing those stones as a way of injecting holiness into us. The writing itself infused us with holiness, ensuring that we would come into the land as people spiritually “on fire”.
Matzah: A Lesson of Quickness
We eat matzah on Pesach because we didn’t have enough time to bake regular bread when we fled from Egypt. Ever wonder why Hashem couldn’t have given us a mere 18 more minutes when leaving Egypt to bake some normal bread? Days prior, Hashem showered ten miraculous, earth-shattering plagues on the Egyptians, and now suddenly He won’t give us enough time to bake a decent loaf of bread? Why is that?
The answer is a fundamental concept in Judaism. Hashem was declaring to all of us on that fateful night, our last one in Egypt, that if you want to change, if you want to get out of this spiritual wasteland, do it now. Not tomorrow. Not in twenty minutes. Now. Because later is the first step to never.
Chometz is the symbol of waiting. It’s the symbol of fermentation. It’s the symbol of later. The very infancy of the Jewish people had to be infused with zerizus (alacrity). Not lethargically trudging our way to spiritual freedom, but running to it, from the first possible moment.
From the very inception of our people, Hashem wanted us to know that when it comes to spiritual change, the very beginning needs to be infused with holiness. Waiting 18 minutes for a fluffy loaf of bread is allowing the germ of later to take root.
The Bais HaMikdash: A Building of Later
Allowing later to take hold sometimes has devastating consequences. For example, the building of the Bais HaMikdash took seven full years to complete. One would expect that the completion of the greatest building in the history of our planet would warrant unparalleled festivities and attention. And yet, what happened on the very first night of the Bais HaMikdash’s existence? Instead of a night dedicated solely to the inauguration of the Bais HaMikdash, infusing it with holiness and
purity, King Shlomo was distracted at his own wedding party celebrating his marriage to the daughter of the Egyptian Pharaoh. A wedding ceremony about which the Midrash (Vayikra Rabbah 12:5) says King Shlomo was more excited about than the inauguration of our holy Bais HaMikdash.
What occurred on the very first morning of the Bais HaMikdash’s completion, the culmination of hundreds of years of spiritual blood, sweat, and tears? Shlomo HaMelech sadly slept in and came late. Late to the very first korban tamid. The Gemara (Shabbos 56b) says that on that fateful day, Hashem sent the Heavenly angel Gavriel to plant a reed in the ocean. That reed grew to become a famous peninsula which would house a city that would be inhabited by the people who eventually destroyed the Beis HaMikdash. That reed grew into Italy, the home of the future Roman Empire, the destroyers of our holy city.
Each and every one of us is in essence a king of our own kingdom. If we infuse our beginnings with an injection of holiness and purity, that creates a bedrock upon which magnificent spiritual infrastructure can be built. But if we let the power of later grab hold, we often never shake it loose. We tell ourselves, “I’ll start davening with concentration when I get to high school,” and then we say, “I’ll start when I’m in bais medrash or seminary”; then we tell ourselves, “I’ll start when I’m married,” and after that it’s “when I’ll have a child,” and then it’s “when I marry off all the kids.” An innocent later when we were 14 pushed us all the way to our deathbeds.
It’s much like driving a car. When you’re on the highway going 75 miles per hour, in order to turn onto the exit, you only need to move the steering wheel a mere few inches and the car moves hundreds of feet to the right or to the left. But when you are on a side street going six miles per hour, even moving five feet requires you to turn the wheel significantly.
Similarly, when one is young and youthful, or when one is beginning a spiritual stage and is filled with fresh enthusiasm, infusing that moment of energy with holiness and spirituality can accomplish far more than trying to do so late in the game.
The commanding General of the United States Army once got up to give a speech to a new batch of ladder of the United States Armed Forces. He looked at them and said, “All of you here have dreams of rising in the ranks —good for you. But there is only one way of doing that. It’s with one mantra that will take you to the heights you wish to climb. There is only one secret to establishing yourself in the United States Army, the most powerful army in all of human history.” All the soldiers leaned in with curiosity as to what his secret was. He paused and said:
“The only way to change the world… is to wake up every day and make your bed.”
Make your bed?! How insignificant! How petty and inconsequential! What did he mean by that?
He explained: “If every day, from the very get-go, you establish yourself as a man who is organized and clean, a man who respects himself and carries himself with dignity, then a foundation of self-worth is laid within you upon which greatness can be properly built. But if from the very beginning there is laziness and disorientation,
then the foundation is wobbly and anything built on top risks crumbling .”
The very first halacha in the entire Shulchan Aruch is the charge for us to be misgaber k’ari, to wake up and a roar like a lion. Not lethargically. Not unenergetic. Not waking up like a man who looks like he just limped back from the Vietnam War. Like a lion.
Of course we feel groggy; of course we need coffee. What it means is that we should inject our day from the get-go with holiness. It means that we should say a meaningful modeh ani; we should start our day with a small thought of the greatness of Hashem, or concentration when we say asher yatzar.
The Kav HaYashar (2nd perek) says that the very first thing one should do when he wakes up in the morning, even before reciting modeh ani, is to look at the mezuzah. To infuse our souls with holiness right away. No time to lose. We wake up every single day and build a foundation upon which our spiritual building can rest.
The same Mishnah in Pirkei Avos that tells us to be strong like a lion also tells us to be kal k’nesher, light as an eagle. The eagle is one of the only birds in the animal kingdom that has spontaneous flight. All other birds need to take off like an airplane and rise in slow increments in order to attain maximum height. Not so the eagle. It can flap its wings and go upwards, no runway necessary. The Mishnah is telling us to be like an eagle that jumps up right away. Be like an eagle that zooms upward, and not like an airplane that ascends slowly. Don’t wait for months, years, or decades to attain spiritual greatness. Do it now. Jump up and fly.
Breaking Glass
The same way a king begins his empire with an infusion of holiness, so do we begin our marriages.
At every wedding there is a strange custom practiced. Right at the end of the chuppah, the chosson raises his foot and stomps on a glass. Demonstrating our concern for the broken Bais HaMikdash, we break a glass after singing a somber tune under the chuppah. This shows Hashem that the destruction of the Bais HaMikdash has never left us.
What happens after that is puzzling. The breaking of the glass — which is supposed to remind us of the sadness of the destroyed Bais HaMikdash — became the ultimate party starter. There isn’t even five seconds between the breaking of the glass and the eruption of singing and dancing that ensues. What was supposed to inject an element of sadness became the ultimate trumpet of joy. Aren’t we completely avoiding the message the glass breakage is trying to give us?
The answer is that the Bais HaMikdash was destroyed mainly because of a lack of simcha, a lack of enthusiasm, of spiritual zest and zeal. A new home being built by a newlywed couple is an erection of a miniature Bais HaMikdash, a spiritual cocoon in which God feels welcome and proud. If a lack of simcha was the catalyst for the Bais HaMikdash’s destruction, then the remedy for its rebirth must be simcha. Hence, the absolute, immediate first moment the glass is broken, signifying the conclusion of the chuppah and the official start of
the couple’s new life, we inject into that marriage, into that mikdash me’at, spiritual simcha. A new palace of God on this earth must be infused with simcha from the very first minute, thus concretizing it as God’s palace forever.
We don’t wait ten minutes, we don’t wait one minute, we don’t even wait ten seconds. Because when it comes to spirituality: Jews. Don’t. Wait.
The Spiritual Collapse of Elisha Ben Avuya
Perhaps the most dramatic example of this concept in all of Jewish history is the story of Elisha ben Avuya. Elisha ben Avuya wasn’t just a great Tanna and Rabbinic sage, he was one of the greatest sages in a generation consisting of our history’s greatest sages. He was one of only four people recorded to have entered Gan Eden (Paradise) while still living in this world (Chagigah 14b).
And yet tragedy struck. He walked away and left it all. Falling off the mountain of spiritual greatness, he climbed atop the mountain of sin. He murdered a child. He frequented harlots. So bad was Elisha, and so catastrophic was his descent from spiritual prominence, that the Gemara does not even refer to him by name; he is simply referred to as “Acher” ("the other").
The moment he left the Jewish fold, he was welcomed with open arms by the Roman elites and was instantly propped up as a prized philosopher who finally saw the light. A man who rose to such unimaginable spiritual heights could not have fallen any lower than he did.
Yet he had one disciple who wouldn’t let go. He had one talmid who wouldn’t move on. The famous Tanna, Rebbi Meir, one of the leading figures of the Mishnah, was the prized disciple of Elisha and continued to run after him, hoping to squeeze out more of the amazing spiritual information still stored within him. Despite leading a life of murder and adultery, Rebbi Meir wouldn’t leave his rebbe. He would beg him to return. He would cry for his repentance. Nothing changed.
One day, out of curiosity, R’ Meir asked Acher what caused his demise. What was the catalyst for his unbelievable fall. Elisha turned to R’ Meir and said, “I’ll tell you exactly. When I was born, my father invited all the major rabbis to attend my bris. The most prestigious members of the Jewish community were there. Right when we were about to begin, the two biggest Talmudic scholars at the time, Rebbi Eliezer and Rebbi Yehoshua, walked in talking words of Torah. They sat down on a bench and a blazing fire surrounded them. My father, dumbstruck, asked them what that fire was, and they explained that it is the fire of Torah that surrounds those who learn it properly. After the collective jaw-dropping that took place amongst the attendees of the bris, my father got down on one knee and whispered into my ear that I, too, should learn Torah in order to receive such a fire and the honor that comes with it. My father injected in me the desire for prestige and honor. My entire spiritual edifice was built upon a foundation of haughtiness and greed." Thus, one of the greatest sages of all time had a wobbly start, which led to a horribly catastrophic end (Tosafos, Chagigah 15a, citing the Talmud Yerushalmi).
Elisha’s Last Word
Pirkei Avos is a collection of the one or two most profound sayings of various Tannaitic Sages. When Elisha was asked, later in life, to contribute his most profound saying, he responded, “The most seminal nugget of wisdom that I can offer humanity is the following: Those who learn when they are young are like ink on a clean page; those who don’t, are like ink on a smudged one. Beginning at the beginning is the secret to longevity.”
The harrowing parting words of one of the greatest sages of all time who lacked only one thing — a proper beginning.
We are here today as practicing Jews because our beginnings were infused with holiness. We are children of fathers who stayed up the whole night of our bris learning with us and singing to us and injecting us with holiness from the start. We are children of holy mothers who would crouch by our cribs, watching us sleep, and beg and cry and plead tearful prayers for our spiritual health. We are grandchildren of holy bubbies who would light the Shabbos candles and cry rivers of tears, injecting holiness into our childhood. We are students of Rabbeim who walked into our kindergarten classroom, and with faces beaming a heavenly shine, lovingly taught us the alef-beis. We are students of teachers who — while we were still innocent and pure — showed us the sweetness of a blatt Gemara and the holiness of a kapitel Tehillim. We are chassidim of Rebbes who lovingly cut our three-year-old hair and bentched us with their holy hands, injecting us with kedusha and tahara. We are descendants of Yitzchok who injected into our beginning the ability to die for God’s glory. We are descendants of Yosef who injected into our beginning the herculean ability to overcome immoral temptation. We are descendants of Dovid who injected the infancy of our kinghood with the ability to stare down giants and fear no one.
We are Jews today living a life of Torah because, precisely as we were born anew after the Holocaust, we had giants of men injecting holiness into us at the time of our inception. The Munkatcher Rebbe’s roar for Shabbos. Reb Aharon Kotler’s unwavering war to spread Torah. The Lubavitcher Rebbe’s unflinching mission to find every last Jew, leaving no stone unturned. Reb Moshe Feinstein’s bringing the torch of Torah greatness and firmly planting it on American soil. We are here because we had them at our beginning. We are here because our inception was injected with holiness, and we know that for spiritual growth, the time to infuse holiness is at the beginning. We are here because we know that beginning after the beginning is beginning far too late.
Hillel Eisenberg, originally from Rochester NY, teaches courses on the fundamentals of Judaism at Princeton University as well as in Torah Links Yeshiva in Lakewood NJ. He is the author of the newly published book THE PARSHAH ON FIRE as well as the host of a podcast with the same name. His dynamic and passionate style of teaching the joy of Judaism has made him a sought-after teacher and lecturer throughout the United States. Feel free to reach out to Hillel by email Hilleleisenberg613@ gmail.com or phone 585-414-9729.
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A particular Jew living in Vienna had a son who was born with no appetite at all. His devoted parents constantly tried to make sure that he ate enough food, but as any parent knows, it is very hard to make a child eat when they are not interested. Despite all their efforts, the boy did not grow and develop properly. They consulted with big doctors, but found no cure.
Then the boy’s mother heard that there was a rebbe in Alesk, the Lev Sameach, and that people went to him and had yeshuos in all kinds of situations which seemed hopeless. She begged her husband to travel to Alesk on behalf of their son. Her husband was a frum man — but not a chassid. Precisely because he had yiras shamayim, he didn’t want to run off to some miracle-working faith healer. “It must be that the rebbe uses kishuf to do his mofsim,” he said.
But his wife begged him incessantly, day after day. When it got to the point that it was affecting his shalom bayis, he decided to go. He didn’t think that the rebbe could actually cure his son, but at least it would make his wife happy.
He set off for Alesk, together with his son.
They arrived on a Thursday night and headed straight for the rebbe’s house. They did not know that the Lev Sameach did not accept people at night. But right when they arrived, the rebbe opened the door to his room. The man caught sight of the Lev Sameach and instantly changed his mind. It was clear that the rebbe was a holy man, not chas veshalom some
mechashef using kochos hatumah.
The next morning, on erev Shabbos, the man brought his son to the Lev Sameach. He described how the boy did not want to eat, and because of that wasn’t getting enough food.
The Lev Sameach said, “Hashem Yisbarach will help that the cure will come to your home.”
That was it. The man thought that the rebbe would do some pe’ulos with his son, but he did nothing of the sort.
The man left the Lev Sameach’s room a bit confused.
The chassidim advised him to bring a bottle of wine to the rebbe’s tish on leil Shabbos, and mention his son.
The man did so, and the rebbe repeated that Hashem would make the cure would come to the man’s house.
The Lev Sameach repeated this during the Shabbos day seudah, and at seudah shlishis, and again when they took leave of him.
The man left Alesk to return home, in despair of his son’s health ever improving. But he figured that at least he would have shalom bayis.
They traveled by wagon until they reached the city from which they would continue by train. There they stopped in a motel to rest before the next leg of their trip.
As they sat in the hallway of the motel, suddenly a strange bird flew inside. The boy piped up, “I’d eat that bird.”
The man was shocked to hear this — his son never, ever said that he wanted to eat!
If there was something that his son wanted to eat, he would make sure to get it for him. They caught the bird, then shechted, kashered, and cooked it.
The boy ate the bird. From then on, he had a normal appetite! Within a few weeks he made up for years of malnutrition, and was completely healthy.
After the boy recovered completely, his father took him to a professor. The professor asked, “How is your son doing?”
When the father showed him his healthy son, the professor couldn’t believe his eyes.
The professor showed him what it said in one of his medical textbooks: “This disease has no cure, except for eating a particular bird which is found only in Africa, which cannot be obtained in Europe.”
The father told the professor how this exact bird had flown into their motel. Then the man understood what the rebbe had said, that Hashem would make the cure come to their house.
Reb Chanoch Henich’s yahrzeit is Aleph Elul.
(Adapted from Nifla’os HaTzaddikim by Reb Yaron Amit)
Reb Meir Simchah was the rav of Dvinsk. He was known by the name of his sefer, the Ohr Sameach. During the First World War, most of the residents of Dvinsk fled the city. Only the poor people — who did not have the means to relocate — stayed. But Reb Meir Simchah stayed with them.
When they begged him to go someplace safer, he replied, “As long as nine Jews remain in the city, I will be the tenth man for a minyan.”
He continued, “Each bullet has its own mission. Each bomb has an exact address.”
Reb Shmuel Elkin grew up in Dvinsk, and made aliyah to Yerushalayim towards the end of his life. He had an especially sharp memory, even in his old age. He knew the Shas, Rambam, and Shulchan Aruch by heart, along with the Tur, Shach, Taz, Rishonim, and Acharonim. This became clear because he was blind in his old age, and yet would still quote from them by heart, as if the sefarim were open in front of him.
One time he recounted an incident which had occurred when he was twelve years old and lived in Dvinsk. It was half a year after Reb Meir Simchah had been appointed as the rav
The city of Dvinsk (modern day Daugavpils, Latvia) stands on the banks of the Western Dvina River (also known as the Daugava River). This 630 mile long river runs from North-Western Russia through Belarus and Latvia, until it empties into the Baltic Sea at the Gulf of Riga.
Obviously, some safety measures are required when building alongside such a major river, lest it rise above its banks and flood the entire city. Indeed, the civil engineers of Dvinsk had installed drains
along the riverbanks (like an overflow drain in a bathtub), so that if rainfall would cause the river to swell, the excess water would be drained away.
But that year the river was so big and full that the overflow drains were insufficient. The crashing river rose higher and higher. There were only 5 inches left before the river would overflow its banks, reach the bridge, and flood the city.
The residents panicked. Many of them began to flee. The non-Jews ran terrified to their priest, but he was just as scared and hopeless as they were. What could they do?
“The danger is great and imminent,” the priest said. “We must go to the Rabbi of the Jews.”
They quickly dispatched a delegation to the Ohr Sameach, headed by the mayor of Dvinsk.
The mayor entered the shul where the Ohr Sameach was sitting, and described
the precarious situation.
When Reb Meir Simchah heard what was happening, he told them to bring him a horse and wagon. As soon as it arrived, he hopped in and rode straight to the bridge that spanned the tumultuous river.
In the short time that it took Reb Meir Simchah to get to the bridge, the river had risen another two inches. There were only three inches standing between them and disaster, and the river was rising fast. Everyone present was terrified.
Reb Meir Simchah said, “Sar shel Yam, I command you to stop.”
But the water continued to rise.
Reb Meir Simchah said, “Sar shel Yam, I am the marah d’asrah, and I command you to stop!”
But it didn’t help.
Reb Meir Simchah declared, “I am the marah d’asrah. I command you to stop — and if you don’t listen, I’ll put you in cherem!”
Immediately, the water stopped rising. Everyone present burst into screams of joy.
They had been saved.
The mayor bowed before Reb Meir Simchah and kissed his hand.
Reb Elkin, who was a boy at the time, was standing next to Reb Meir Simchah and heard everything that he said. He lived to tell the tale, and that is how we know about it. ***
Reb Meir Simchah’s yahrzeit is Daled Elul.
(Adapted from Nifla’os HaTzaddikim by Reb Yaron Amit)
Recap: Nachman, Avi, Rikki, and Gadi discuss ways to deal with Mr. Nakamura’s arms dealing. When they reach an impasse, Avi goes out to summon help.
“Hello,” said Xavier Roberts.
“Good afternoon,” said Mr. Yamamoto.
The Big Guns had arrived. The Cavalry had galloped over the hill to rescue us poor cowboys from the circling Indians.
Did their arrival make me feel any safer?
Oh, yes.
Debbie had just come back into my man cave from the kitchen, with a tray containing several steaming mugs. She looked around and assessed the change in situation in a split second. I admired that.
“I’ll go and make some more tea,” she said.
“Not for me, thank you,” said Mr. Yamamoto.
“Nor me, thank you,” said Xavier Roberts.
“Well, then I won’t,” Debbie said. And she didn’t budge. It was like the vibes coming from her were saying: I want to stay and find out what my family is being asked to get involved in….
But everyone looked at her, and then at each other. Once again, my lovely wife got the memo with dizzying speed. She wasn’t wanted there.
But I can read her like a book, and what she was saying without saying was: This is my family you are roping in to do heavens knows what. And I want to know what heaven knows and I don’t.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it then,” she said. And she went to the door and stood there for a while. She looked at me and I mouthed at her that I would fill her in later.
Aloud she said, “What are you saying, Nachman?” which kind of defeated the object of my mouthing.
Everyone glared at me.
I smiled innocently. “Just asking what’s for supper,” I lied blithely.
Debbie tossed her head in a “I know when I’m not wanted,” kind of way that no one took any notice of, and she left, closing the door behind her. She may have closed it a tiny bit more forcefully than necessary, but hey, you have to make allowances.
“So,” Avi said, taking charge for some reason, though he wasn’t. But he didn’t say anything else, so I guess we could allow him that one “so.”
“Mr. Yamamoto and I,” Xavier said, “have examined the footage that Gadi here got from the spy dolly. It’s very informative, very worrying, and very dangerous. A big shout out to Rikki for hacking into Nakamura’s computer. You and your brother have been invaluable so far in this prospective shakedown. No doubt a recruiting opportunity will follow.” He beamed at my two amazing kids. And at me for having had the total genius of fathering them. I beamed back, but my beam needed a new battery; it was flickering at the edges. This was mainly because, despite being the father, a little bit of me also wanted to be recruited. Hadn’t I done a sterling job up that ladder?
“It’s imperative,” Xavier went on, “that we realize our limitations. We cannot take down Nakamura’s entire contact list. But we feel if we take down just him, we’ll have pulled out one stick from the pickup sticks tower that is holding the entire structure together. At the very least, it will give our countries breathing space until the baddies reassemble a new network. At best, it might make the whole structure collapse. Nakamura might be the key pickup stick. If you get my allegory.”
Everyone nodded. I nodded along even though I had no idea what he was talking about. Pickup sticks?
“So,” Mr. Yamamoto said, “this is how we thought we’d do things. We’d need all of you to be on board, even you Nachman.” He smiled patronizingly at me.
Even me?
“This isn’t going to be an easy sting,” Yamamoto went on. “It will involve us pretending to be arms dealers, and somehow, with Rikki’s help with hacking, inserting ourselves into a deal that Mr. Nakamura is doing. In other words, we act like purchasers. I thought of inserting ourselves as middlemen, and that way taking down both the seller, ie Mr. Nakamura, and whoever the purchaser is. But,” he added, when he saw everyone’s eyes light up at that idea, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to be quite that ambitious. As it is, we’re taking huge and dangerous risks. Let’s keep to a reasonable amount of life-threatening hazard, and not be ridiculous about this.”
Everyone sagged but then nodded. I did, too.
Yes, even me, whose life-threatening risks so far had amounted to climbing up a stepladder in the Arch Baddie’s house.
“How does the actual sting happen?” Avi asked.
“All in good time. Let’s get the hacking thing sorted first.”
Everyone looked at Rikki. She glowed with pride.
“I’ll have to do a bit more research,” she admitted. “It’s one thing hacking into Nakamura’s network just to eavesdrop. It’s another to hack into it pretending to be someone, and to interact with him as that person. I’m not sure I have the skill.”
Yamamoto and Roberts exchanged glances which Rikki intercepted like an air-to-air missile. “But I’ll learn. I’ll make sure the teacher shows me how to do it. That’s what my course is about.”
“What’s it about? Learning to be a hacker?” Xavier looked dubious.
“It’s about preventing cyber-crime,” Rikki explained. “But like anything in life, to prevent something, you have to know how to do it in the first place.” She grinned. “I’m just cherry-picking the parts of the course I need and discarding the rest.”
“Clever girl,” Yamamoto said approvingly. He looked at Xavier. “I think we’ll have a place for this young lady when this is all over.”
Xavier nodded.
I beamed, even though no one had offered me a place. Maybe there wasn’t a shortage of highly skilled stepladder climbers.
I remembered, years ago, being told by my father that parents are never jealous of their own kids. Oh really?
“So that’s Rikki all sorted with a job,” Avi said, just as I realized that I didn’t recall my father saying anything about siblings not being jealous of one another. Avi turned a delicate shade of green. “Um…what about me?”
“You,” Yamamoto said to Avi, “will have an equally vital job. I need you research how these arms deals are actually carried out. If we’re going in there pretending to be dealers, we mustn’t perform any missteps, or they’ll guess we’re imposters and then the whole deal will be shot to pieces.”
It’s amazing how fast the green faded from Avi’s face. He beamed. “I’m on it,” he assured the two men.
I felt like putting up a tentative hand and saying: “What about me please?” But I held myself back feeling proud.
The two men turned to me. “The problem we have using you, Nachman,” Xavier began, and I hadn’t even asked him anything, so that meant I looked pathetic enough for him to read me without my saying a thing.
Xavier continued. “The problem is that Nakamura knows you. The genial neighbor role is extremely valuable and I want you to keep it up. Be his friend and confidante. Be on his side at all times. When he slowly realizes he’s being manipulated and the end is nigh kind of thing, let him turn to you and offload. What he says to you will help us with the final sting. He must have no idea that you are on the same side as the stingers. He hasn’t figured out you fixed the hidden cameras to his lighting fixtures and that’s how we want it to stay. Is that something you think you can do, Nachman, old friend?”
I may have imagined something a tad more heroic than simply acting as a friend, but it wasn’t as if I was simply acting in a show. I needed to perform a two-faced, duplicitous version of myself. Could I do it?
Could I indeed!!
Rifka Schoenfeld
Who doesn’t want to belong? But is fitting in the same as belonging? Can you have one without the other? Is there a tangible way to belong?
I’ve written a lot about Brené Brown and her focus on courage, shame, empathy, and vulnerability. Over the past decade, Brown has emerged as a leading social scientist and bestselling author who truly speaks for a generation of people, in particular a generation of women. In Brown’s most recent book, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone, gives readers multiple points of access to improving their relationship with themselves and with each other.
Belonging vs. Fitting in
In a previous book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown explains that there is a big difference between belonging and fitting in. Actually, there are polar opposites. When you belong, you bring yourself to the situation. When you fit in, you acclimate to the situation instead of being your authentic self. In other words, she explains, “The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect. When we don’t have that, we shape-shift and turn into chameleons; we hustle for the worthiness we already possess.”
In her recent book, Brown points out that those who feel like they truly belong have the courage to stand alone. In other words, when we feel that we can be authentically ourselves even within a group, then we can be brave and stand up for what we believe in. She uses the acronym BRAVING for how we can learn to truly belong and therefore have the courage to stand alone.
There are seven elements of BRAVING, or learning to create connections in which you truly belong and can bring your whole self to the relationship:
Boundaries. You set and understand boundaries in your work and personal relationships. If you don’t know what the boundaries are, you ask. Once you’ve established the boundaries, you respect them.
Reliability. You do what you say and you say what you do. This means that you don’t overcommit to things and say you will do more than you can do and then back out. Instead, you are realistic about your capabilities and come through with your promises.
Accountability. You don’t backchannel and blame others. Instead, you speak to people directly when you feel that are in the wrong and you freely admit when you feel like you’ve done something wrong.
Vault. This is a big one! You don’t use other people’s stories to connect with others. In other words, you don’t use gossip to connect with good friends you also don’t use your good friends’ stories as gossip. You connect personally and only tell your own stories.
Integrity. And, this is a tough one! You choose what’s right over what’s fun, fast, and easy. Today’s culture places a great emphasis on the fun, the fast, and the easy. Instead, you choose what is right.
Non-Judgment. You can ask for help and other people can ask you for help without being judged. This means that you are comfortable sometimes being
reliant on other people and that other people can be comfortable being reliant on you.
Generosity. When things go wrong, you assume positive intentions on the part of someone else. In other words, if something happens that upsets you, you approach the other person with clarifying questions, rather than anger.
According to Brown, shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging. Shame is often confused with guilt and humiliation. While guilt focuses on what we’ve done (as opposed to what we would have liked to have done), shame focuses on who we are. You might feel guilty that you cheated on your diet, but you feel shame if you experience yourself as a cheater. Humiliation is another word that is often confused with shame. When you are publicly called out about an action that you took, you feel humiliated if you believe that the person who rebuked you was inappropriate. Conversely, you feel ashamed if you believe that that you deserve that rebuke.
In other words, shame is an emotion that imprisons you – labels you as “bad,” “stupid,” “fat,” and traps you into believing that these are correct assessments of your worth.
Women have a particularly difficult time with shame because there are different (often stricter) societal expectations for women as mothers, fashion figures, and careerists. Therefore, it’s really important to recognize the negative effects of shame on your life and to transform yourself in an effort to control it.
•Courage. Shame is an emotion that tunnels inside of us – it cannot survive being shared. The most damaging thing we can do when we experience shame is to bury the story and hide it from everyone around us. Instead, it’s important to have courage and share the story with someone you trust. The root of the word courage actually comes from the Latin word for heart (cor). In that sense, courage can be about sharing your heart with someone else.
•Compassion. While it is important to share the story, it is equally (if not more) essential to share the shame story with the right person. There are multiple ways that well-intentioned friends can react that will not help assuage the shame. Some of those responses could be: anger at the person who did this to you, feeling bad for you, or only wants to make it better without really listening. Instead, you need to look for a friend who will demonstrate compassion – someone who will answer, “Oh, man, that sounds terrible. I am so sorry. I’ve definitely been there. I can’t stand when I feel that way.”
•Connection. Through your courage in sharing and your friend’s compassion, you have created a powerful connection to somebody outside of your shame. You can feel exposed to your shame, but also completely loved and accepted – which are the true antidotes to shameful thoughts. Remember, the definition of shame is “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.” Once you forge a connection, you feel you belong.
When nut butter enthusiasts seek out the finest, they turn to us. We meticulously craft each of our jars by roasting and blanching peanuts, then churning them into a smooth buttery delight, delivering only the richest of tastes from the highest quality of ingredients. From creamy to crunchy, twist open any jar to experience genuine flavor blended with true passion.
“So, Raizy, it’s pashut . I’m fine to meet Yoni on my own.”
Zaidy tore off a piece of challah and brought it slowly to his lips. He chewed thoughtfully, while my father took a bite of his fish, and Mommy let out her breath and passed the hummus in my direction. She kept her eyes down and passed the dishes around, took a sip of water and cleared her throat.
“Ta, of course you’re perfectly fine. It’s just nice to have company when you travel these days. There are long lines, all your luggage to shlepp – remember you’re bringing many boxes of supplies. And you won’t be so bored on the plane.”
“Bored?” Zaidy shook his head. “I have three blatt to learn, my mishnayos , my mussar seder , and I have to keep on top of all the accounting for the West Coast branch of Ki Ata Imadi. I have enough to do to fill up three flights to New York!”
Zaidy’s face was redder than I’d ever seen it, and when he held up his hand, like a stop sign, I noticed it was trembling.
My mother and father exchanged a look.
Dini ran back to the table, her doll dangling from her hand, and stared at Zaidy with big eyes.
“Excellent fish, Mommy.” Tatty took the last bite of his teriyaki salmon. “Ari, please pass the salad. Ari?” From the far end of the table, where Mommy had set up an extra chair for Ari’s foot to be propped up, Ari looked up from his book.
I wondered if it was a good time to jump in and tell Zaidy my great idea to fly with him and of my other plans – but before I could say anything, my mother sighed.
“We’re a little worried, Tatty.” She said quietly, rubbing the
side of her neck repeatedly with her fingertips.
Recap: In the ER the Bergenfelds learn that Ari’s leg is broken. Zaidy then calls, and he seems upset about something
“About what exactly?” Zaidy West threw his cloth napkin onto his plate, and I watched the edge of it soak up the teriyaki sauce.
My mother looked at my father, who pushed his chair back and folded his hands on the table. “Well, sometimes you forget things, just little things, which is perfectly normal for someone in your age group. And of course, as you said, there’s all the stress about Ki Ata Imadi, and the matzav in Eretz Yisroel. It’s a challenging time for all of us.”
Ari piped up. “Ta, Shmueli said that after the war in Gaza, we’re going to have to fight Hezbollah in the north, and Iran has tons of rockets, and then something about nuclear…”
“Hashem yishmor ,” Mommy mumbled.
My father shook his head. “It’s Shabbos, Ari. We must keep reminding ourselves that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is running everything.”
Mommy motioned to me, and I collected the fish plates; Zaidy hadn’t touched his salmon and hadn’t even taken his favorite garlic dip.
“Tatty, listen to this hashgachah ,” Mommy put on a big smile. “It just so happens that Mordy Lefkowitz, a very nice bachur , Yali Amster’s chassan , is also flying to JFK tomorrow. Isn’t that something?”
Zaidy looked down and hunched his shoulders forward, which made me lose my appetite, too. Usually, Zaidy sat up very straight in his suit and tie. If you ask me, Mommy and Tatty
were being a bit overly concerned. I mean, what was the big deal to go onto a plane, get off, and meet Uncle Yoni?
My father started to hum his favorite tune for Yom Zeh Mechubod , and Ari closed his book and picked up a bentcher Zaidy pushed his chair away and walked out of the room.
I stood frozen. Part of me wanted to call Zaidy back, but another part of me was too scared to say anything. I bit my lip as Zaidy slumped onto the living room couch.
“Liora, let him be. Finish clearing.”
When Miri came over the next day for our massive Bubby Bake-a-Thon, I was more prepared than ever. I’d covered all the counters with big plastic tablecloths, and my father had taken me to buy three bags of flour, yeast, and all the filling ingredients for vanilla, chocolate, and cinnamon babka
“I had to call Tanta Shayna for my Bubby’s recipe, Miri. Baruch Hashem, my mother didn’t hear me on the phone. Tanta Shayna said Bubby knew it by heart and she never measured anything. And the recipe is from my Bubby’s Bubby!” I remembered Bubby kneading her challah dough on her big, white board. Her lips moved the whole time she was doing it. I guess she was davening, though she’d never made a fuss about it.
Miri’s eyes widened. “That means this is your great, great grandmother’s recipe! Epic!” Miri patted the silver mixer bowl. “Can you imagine doing all of this by hand?”
“Shhhh. When my mother comes in, just act like we’re making muffins again.” I pointed to the empty muffin tins on the counter. “See. My clever decoy.”
“Then you’d better hide the yeast, Liora.”
I tapped my temple. “Good thinking, Miri!”
I stashed the yeast in the cabinet where Mommy kept the fleishig pots and pans, right next to the four loaves of chocolate babka that were already rising. Miri had shaped those loaves, and I’d watched carefully; she was good at those types of things.
This time, Miri got the job of measuring the flour and kept track of how many cups she’d used of everything with a little notepad.
“I know this is going to be an awesome sale.” I scooped a pile of dough onto the cutting board and whispered, “After all, it’s going to land on the day of Bubby’s yahrtzeit .”
As I rolled out the dough, I heard some footsteps coming down the stairs.
“Liora!” Mommy called. “Have you seen my purse?”
“In here, Ma!”
she spoke. “Have you seen my keys? Oh, right, the big baking day. Girls, just please , please, have everything finished early. I want the kitchen clean before I go to sleep.”
Miri nodded. “Sure. No problem, Mrs. Bergenfeld.”
“The GPS says there’s a lot of traffic, who knows why on a Sunday, but you know, that’s how it is here.” She rummaged through the pile of things on the kitchen table. “I drove home last night from Zaidy’s, but where did I put the keys? They must be here somewhere.”
Shaya crawled in at lightning speed, something pink sticking out of his mouth, and he made a beeline for Mommy’s legs.
“Stealer!” Dini jogged in behind Shaya. She grabbed the plastic doll bottle from his mouth, giving him a little kick with her toes.
“Dini!”
“It’s his fault! Not mine!”
My mother raised her eyebrows at Dini. “It doesn’t look like you’ll be able to come with me to the airport, Dina Avigail.”
I shook my head and put on my whiniest voice. “Mommyyyyyyy! We have so much to do, we can’t have Dini in the way.”
Dini stuck her tongue out at me.
“No offense,” I said.
“Liora, call Zaidy. Tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can. Make sure he’s ready to go.” Mommy hurried out of the room to continue her search, while Miri and I double-checked the table and counters.
I stopped searching and dialed Zaidy’s number. The phone rang and rang, then went to voicemail.
Mommy walked quickly into the kitchen, glancing around as
“Oh, the keys!” Miri squealed suddenly. She went after Shaya’le, who hurried away, keys jangling from his mouth. “Mrs. Bergenfeld!”
My mother ran in. She scooped up Shaya, took the keys from his mouth, and then looked at me. “You told Zaidy?” She called out. She turned around quickly so that her voice came from over her shoulder, as she headed for the door.
“He didn’t pick up. I’ll try again. Wait, don’t forget Dini!” I took Dini’s hand and led her to Mommy.
“Only nice behavior, Dina. Bye, girls!”
I shut the door behind them and tried Zaidy again, but there was no answer.
Five minutes later, the phone rang. “Zaidy’s not here.” My mother’s voice shook. “But Mrs. Klein from downstairs said she saw him, about thirty minutes ago, outside with this suitcase, and all of the boxes.”
To be continued…
Look for open spaces, fill it up with a number from 1-9, but make sure that within what row, column, and sqaure that number doesnt exist yet. Keep filling those little squares; the more you fill in, the easier the puzzle is to finish! Remember that a number can only accur once in a row, column, or square! Hard
Have a joke that cracks you up? Email your joke to Info@lakewoodvibes.com with ‘Funny jokes’ in the
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Dear Lakewood, Toms River, Jackson, Howell, and Manchester community members, Did you attend a local event or anything exciting happening in your shul?
Dear Vibes of Gratitude,
My first expression of thanks would be to give a shout out to a magazine where care and concern is emphasized through their thought fulness on choice of columns and contests im buing us and our children with true torah val ues.
A number of years ago my diamond went missing from my ring and I asked our local jeweler if they have any ideas for us. They suggested a segula of giving tzedakah in the zchus of R’ Menachem Mendel M’Riminov stat ing that we will absolutely find what we were missing. And we were to publicize the yeshua. Sure enough the diamond showed up in the most unexpected way.
Now, just a few weeks ago on Erev Shabbos my diamond ring went missing again. We tapped into the same zchus mentioned then (along with giving tzedakah also in the zchus of R’ Meir Baal Ha’Nes and davening at the kever of the Ribnitzer Rebbe…) and the ring showed up in plain sight this past week.
The owner of Glace’ Fine Jewelry didn’t realize that she was giving over a segula of chizuk that would be used time and again.
We have lots of Hakaras Hatov to them!
Much appreciation!
-The Teilers
1) Could a ןייד take דחוש if he wants to judge correctly?
2) What reward do the Yidden get if they appoint good judges?
3) If a Yid plants a tree for הרז הדובע but does not serve it, does he get punished?
4) What do the words 'אלפי יכ' mean?
5) How many wives can a king have?
6)Where do the king’s two הרות ירפס go?
7) Does the ןהכ have to stand while doing the הדובע?
This week’s questions are until יעיבר If you would like to submit answers and be entered into a raffle for a $25 gift card, please call 848 373 5489. To get this Parsha sheet emailed to you every week, send a request to torahshleimah@gmail.com. Sponsored
When I was younger I had a dress that the top of the dress was a sweater that was attached to the bottom of the dress by the neckline. Because of that I was able to pick up the sweater part until my neck, but it didn’t take my dress fully off. One Friday night, I was very hot so I picked up the sweater until my neck. I was walking into the kitchen when my sister was walking out with a bowl of boiling hot soup. I didn't realize she was coming and I bumped right into her so the soup spilled on top of me and it was very painful. Baruch Hashem I didn't get very hurt because it spilled directly on top of the sweater that I rolled up because I was hot! I ended up with only a small burn in the exact place that my sweater was rolled up! It was Hashgacha Pratis that I was hot and I rolled up my sweater or I could have gotten a much bigger burn!!!
Batsheva Ehrman,12
This past half of the summer I worked in a day camp and we usually start at 9:45. One day we were starting at 11:00. When I woke up the clock read 9:20, and I forgot we were starting late, so I quickly got up and got ready for camp. I was about to start davening when I remembered that we were starting at 11:00 that day. I decided to just keep on getting ready instead of going back to sleep. It was hashgacha pratis that I didn’t go back to bed because right then my grandmother came to visit! I had a fantastic visit with my grandmother, and I’m so happy I didn’t miss it by sleeping in!
Last year every day after school while waiting for the bus we played a basketball game. One day I was watching the game when suddenly a kid that was playing nocked the kid next to me over the boys hat and bag went flying all over so everyone quickly got the stuff and gave it to him. He started looking at his stuff then he realized that he left his tefillin inside so if not for that boy that nocked him down he would have left his tefillin in school and who knows what could have happened!
Michoel dov Muller 12
One of the laws of war is the prohibition against cutting down fruit trees of the enemy. This teaches us not to destroy useful items for no reason.
The Jewish people were on their way to war against an enemy. They needed to set up a base and camp. One young soldier, Shlomo, wanted to help with the war effort. He looked around for what he could do. Noticing a vineyard at the edge of the main city, he had an idea. “I’ll set fire to the vineyard! This will set the city’s soldiers back and make it easier to capture the city!” He went off to find his friend Moshe to help. When Moshe heard the plan, he looked horrified. “We can’t do that! There’s a Mitzvah not to cut down the fruit trees of our enemies!” Shlomo suddenly remembered. “Thank you for reminding me, otherwise I would’ve made a mistake.”
What is one way to be careful not to waste food or other materials for no reason?
In giving us this Mitzvah, the Torah teaches us that we may not destroy useful resources such as fruit trees for no reason. In the context of war, this includes not destroying such trees just to scare the enemy. If there is a situation when there is a need to cut them down, there is room for doing so. But doing so needlessly is in opposition to what Hashem wants of us. This idea applies especially to a fruit tree (even one that is simply growing in your yard) since the fruits growing on it provide an additional level of sustenance. But the same concept also applies to any sort of materials we interact with. The Torah tells us that it is not ok to ruin or destroy anything that has use, also known as the Mitzvah of Bal Tashchis.
Use dark green cardstock. Draw a large squiggly shape. Fold and make a few cuts in the middle. Cut out the middle up to the line you drew.
On the lightest shade of green, print the cityscape template or draw a cityscape as shown. Layer all the papers together, with the lightest on the bottom and the darkest on top.
Now, place stickers on the back of the trees, starting with the smallest, and then match the greens while sticking them onto the picture.
Place the cut-out on top of the next lighter shade, and trace the same shape but smaller. Proceed to cut out the middle in the same manner.
On green paper draw or print trees, then cut, and set aside. Biggest Tree - Darkest Green Middle-sized Tree - Lighter Green
Smallest Trees - Even Lighter Green
Your Cityscape Orchard Decoupage looks stunning and is ready to be displayed on your favorite wall!
Repeat step 2 with the next 2 lighter sheets, every time drawing the shape a bit smaller.
Put the bottom paper with the city on it in front of you. Take the next darker shade, flip it, place 8 foam stickers on the corners and sides. Flip again and stick that cut out on top of the paper with the city. Repeat with every other shade.
5 Shades of Green Cardstock
Printed Template of Trees
Square Foam Stickers
Dark Green Marker
Scissors
Pen *We would love to see how your Parsha Studio Project came out!
Send us pictures to, info@jcm.museum
Wedding for Grandson of the Boyan Rebbe with granddaughter of Rabbi Menachem Erenster Rosh Yeshivas
Wedding for Grandson of Ashlag Rebbe
Lakewood Mayor Ray Coles taking a trip on the shuttle Tefillin Awareness Project in Ohr
Miriam Klein Adelman
When I was 13 years old and in the eighth grade, I was miserable. I hated school. I had no friends and really what more is there to say? If you have no friends in 8th grade, there’s not much else that makes life worth living.
The only thing that did make my life worth living was the three weeks of camp that I looked forward to every year. For the entire 11 months preceding August, I would dream, during the day and night about the summer. In camp, I was popular. I had lots of friends that were like me. In my out-oftown school that I had moved to in fifth grade, I was the frummy frummy of the class. I was also naturally shy so while some kids could pull off being different, I most definitely couldn’t. So, for four long years, from fifth through eighth grade, I lived for my three weeks in sleepaway camp. My parents had no idea how unhappy I was.
Maybe I didn’t feel like my needs were important enough, that it was worth bothering my parents about them. My parents had a family to take care of, a living to make, bills to pay. The fact that I had no friends seemed insignificant to me compared to that. Besides to my parents, family was the most important thing. I don’t think they understood how necessary friends are to growing children. I also think that perhaps because my mom was an only child, she assumed we'd be forever ecstatic because we had siblings.
Whatever the case was, I never breathed a word of my quiet desperation to her or to my father. But when camp rolled around, I turned from quiet mouse to party animal. I was usually the liveliest in my bunk, active in sports and dance. I participated in the Aqua Show at the end of the summer, doing daring cartwheels, handsprings, and backbends
off the diving board. I recall the old mattress in front of our bunk house that my friend, Elkie, and I would practice our flips on. Although my sportiness and acrobatic acumen in school made nary a difference to my classmates, in camp, everybody was impressed.
At night after curfew, my friends and I would sneak out of our bunks somehow always evading the ODs (“On Duty” counselors assigned to make sure no camper left her bunkhouse after ‘taps’). I remember one time my friends and I decided to give a little scare to our co-bunk. It was probably my idea. We crawled around to the back of the bunk and climbing on my friend’s shoulder, I rapped on the window. The window was level with the top bunk bed. When the girl on the top bunk saw a face in the window, she screamed. We booked it. The ODs with their flashlights came running, but we were safely in our bunk by then and I don’t think anybody ever found out whose face it was that appeared in that window that night. But those were the kinds of fun and essentially harmless things we got up to.
I was a different child in school. I’d hang around with the other nebby girls who had no friends. Occasionally, an “in” girl would deign to talk to me and I’d clutch on to the hope that finally I’d have a “friend”. It never lasted long. Soon enough I’d be back to spending my time fantasizing about camp.
Everything changed the summer of 8th grade. I remember spending hours in the bunkhouse with my friends, discussing the different high schools we’d all be attending. Everybody was excitedly telling each other which school they were going to. Except for me. For once, I was quiet and miserable. I knew where I was headed, and I looked forward to it the way that I’d look forward to someone dropping a bowling ball on my foot. My friends were talking about the differences between the various schools. Apparently, in school A, you could wear knee socks as opposed to schools B and C where you were only allowed to wear tights. The principal of school A was strict, and the girls in school B were very in-towny.
As my friends spoke, almost without my realizing it, an idea began to form in my head. What if I wouldn't have to go back to my out-of-town school? What if somehow, I could live in New York and go to one of the schools my friends were going to? As I started getting excited about my idea, the annoying little voices in my head began – Where will you live? It’s the end of the summer, you didn’t even take the high school exam. Mommy and Abba will never let! Yet, the idea grew stronger. Just maybe, maybe I could pull it off.
The next question was - Where did I want to go? It wasn’t enough to not want to return to my old school. I needed to come up with a name of the place I did want to attend. After “maturely” thinking it over, I concluded that I wanted to go to the school that allowed knee socks. While it’s true I was the class rebbetzin in my out-of-town school, by New York Bais Yaakov standards, I hardly think anybody would’ve called me that.
I wanted? chose? opted for? the knee socks route. Now I had to inform my parents of my decision. Right. In those days, we actually had to ask our parents about such things and if they said, no, it was no. With great trepidation, I wrote a postcard home pleading my case. Every day I checked the mail but there was never an answer to my postcard. Yes, I received other letters from my parents and
little siblings but there was only silence about the “Can I go to a high school in New York?” postcard.
I didn’t give up. The minute our bus arrived in Williamsburg, and I spotted my mother, I asked her if she got my postcard. “Yes,” she said. “But now’s not the time to discuss it. We’ll talk about it when we get home.” True to her word, as soon as we arrived home, she said, “Okay, Miriam, you want to go away for school. Where will you board? How do you know you’ll be accepted? School starts in two weeks! We have a tuition deal with our school here, who’s going to pay the high tuition cost?” She shot these questions at me, but I was ready. After all, I’d been thinking about them non-stop for the last two weeks.
“I’ll live with Aunt Sarah,” I said. Aunt Sarah was my father’s older single sister who lived by herself in Boro Park. Why I thought she’d want to share her home with a young teenager is probably proof of how out of touch with reality I was (or how desperate). “I’ll call up the new principal and ask for a meeting. I’ll work in the summer to pay for my tuition.
“Rabbi Leshkowitz (principal of the school in my hometown) is going to be upset that you’re leaving,” my mother countered. “He wants a more religious element in his school.”
“I’ll call him too and tell him why I’m leaving,” I said. Never mind my meekness in my hometown. I wasn't the type to address an authority figure of my own volition. But this time I was determined. And desperate.
My mother agreed to let me make the calls. That was a major move on her part.
I called up everyone and Rabbi Leshkowitz was indeed unhappy with the news that one of the Klein girls was leaving. Rabbi Perlman of the new high school, however, agreed to meet with me and Aunt Sarah actually agreed to let me live with her. (Wow! And yay!)
My story has a happy ending. I was accepted into the school of my choice and school in Brooklyn was really bliss. Although I worked summers to pay for my high school years, and sometimes after school, it was worth it.
I think the lesson we parents need to learn here is how vital peer relationships are to the healthy development of our preteens and teens.
One of my older daughters was unhappy in elementary school. I think. She never spoke about it until years later, after her marriage, when she briefly mentioned that she hadn’t many friends in elementary school. I knew she didn’t but since she never complained, I thought she was okay with it. (Now I worry that maybe she didn’t feel comfortable enough opening up and telling us.) Thankfully, when we moved to our new town, she started off on a different footing, becoming well-liked in her new class.
One of my younger children, however, let me know quite clearly from day one that she was unhappy in school. We switched her in 6th grade, and she blossomed. When I see her today beginning her last year of high school excited to return to her school friends, I’m thrilled for her. And grateful.
Times change, and parenting methods change, but at the heart of it all is open communication—a willingness to truly listen to our children's gripes and ideas. Thankfully, my parents gave me the opportunity in the end, and thankfully, I learned, and am still learning, how to give my own children such opportunities as well.
Chilli & Tilli are hidden somewhere in this issue they can be found anywhere on a Ad, Picture, or any page in the magazine, any size any color (excluding this page)
Please email, Fax or Mail the Page # where you found them To enter a rafffle to Win a Free Ticket to Climb Zone! You must include your Name and Address the winner will be printed in next weeks issue.
By. Malkie Schulman
When most people hear the word “school” they probably picture a regular building with desks, textbooks, and hallways. Words like boat, cave, underground bunker, or mountaintop probably don’t pop into their heads. Well, read on to learn about some cool school located in precisely such locations.
Unusual schools are not just reserved for the other side of the world or even the other side of the country. The Free School ,located in our very own Brooklyn, New York, has a very interesting approach. The Free School's idea is that children are naturally curious and learn best when they want to, not when they’re forced.
A sample of a day’s schedule at the Brooklyn Free School may thus include: chess, debate, filming horror movies, and constructing caves for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (Imagine coming home and telling your parents that you spent the day in school creating a horror movie!) At Brooklyn Free School, there are no grades, no homework, and no tests. Students don’t even have to go to class if they don’t want to.
Once a week, Free School students and staff members meet to make announcements, talk about their concerns, and discuss how best to work on the management of the school. Students usually run the meetings and except for health and safety issues, students and staff members have equal decision-making power. Now, which kid wouldn’t want to go to that kind of school?
Imagine going to school by climbing up vine ladders for an hour and a half. Well, that is exactly what the children of the 200-year-old Atule’er clifftop village in the Sichuan province of China used to do! The climb, however, was so risky that the school decided to help them out by opening boarding facilities so that children only had to go home (via vine ladder!) twice a month. Eventually, the vine ladders separating the village from the school were replaced by ladders of steel. But even those ladders were too dangerous causing the government to step in and move the village to a safer spot Now, students don’t need to do any more dangerous mountain climbing to get to school! Talk about learning from everything!
Many children, especially in the United States, take a bus to school. But what if the bus was the school?
In Karachi, Pakistan, poverty and lack of education are problems. To help, the Citizens Education Development Foundation created a mobile school bus in 1993. The bus tours different neighborhoods every day, delivering four sessions of two hours each to approximately 160 poverty-stricken children aged five to 14 in the different communities. Tuition is free and besides the teachers who do get paid, the rest of the staff are volunteers.
During monsoon season in Bangladesh, a country in Southern Asia, you can bet on hearing a lot of rain in the weather forecast. A monsoon is a major wind system that brings wet summers and dry winters to the areas where they blow. From June to September heavy rains and torrential downpours are a big problem, causing rivers to overflow and flood the country. All this flooding makes regular school buildings unusable. To keep kids learning during this time however, a local organization in Bangladesh came up with a solution by making schools on boats! The floating boat schools pick up students from the riverbanks each morning and then dock on the water for lessons. Space in the boat classrooms is a bit tight, with students often crammed together to face the teacher and the blackboard. Nevertheless, the school are a creative and cool way to make sure education doesn’t stop, even in the middle of a monsoon!
“If the children can’t come to the school, we must bring the school to them.”
When schoolteacher, Inderjit Khurana, rode the train to work each day, she saw many school-age children begging from train passengers. Her heart went out these children when she learned that many of them were homeless.
“Why aren’t you in school?' She asked a little boy one day as she watched him sweep the floor of her train carriage.
“My father’s dead, and my mother needs my help," the boy answered.
Hearing the boy's response, Inderjit felt she had to do something to help. She understood that these children needed to follow the train schedules to survive and came up with the solution of opening a school at the train station.
Inderjit opened her first railway platform school more than 25 years ago. Today her organization, Ruchika, runs twelve platform schools, six nurseries, 75 slum schools, 20 nursery schools, two “schools on wheels" and more. The schools also provide supplementary nutrition and medical care for the students and their families.
Abo Elementary School was built during the Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union as a fallout shelter in case of a nuclear attack. This underground school in Artesia, New Mexico, United States had everything it needed to keep students safe in the event that the two superpowers indeed went to war. The school had everything from a decontamination center to ration stores.
But imagine going underground to school every day due to the possibility of a nuclear war. Students at Abo Elementary School felt fear daily. They worried about being orphaned if a war happened and about whether there would be enough space underground for everyone's parents, to keep safe if all-out war erupted. The school closed in the 90’s after the Cold War ended. In 1999, it was added to the National Register of Historic Places and today it's used as a storage facility.
Talk about learning from everything!
Imagine going to school by climbing up vine ladders for an hour and a half. Well, that is exactly what the children of the 200-year-old Atule’er clifftop village in the Sichuan province of China used to do! The climb, however, was so risky that the school decided to help them out by opening boarding facilities so that children only had to go home (via vine ladder!) twice a month. Eventually, the vine ladders separating the village from the school were replaced by ladders of steel. But even those ladders were too dangerous causing the government to step in and move the village to a safer spot Now, students don’t need to do any more dangerous mountain climbing to get to school!
Talk about learning from everything!
The Dongzhong Mid-Cave Primary School in the mountain village of Miao, China is, as its name indicates –a school in a cave! (In Chinese, “Dongzhong” means "in cave"). The people of this village were so poor they couldn’t afford a school building. For nearly 30 years they resolved their education issues by turning a nearby giant cave into a school. This cave was naturally carved inside the village mountain due to thousands of years of wind, rain and earthquakes.
From 1984 to 2011, the cave served as a one-room schoolhouse. But then the Chinese government heard about it and grew embarrassed, “China is not a society of cavemen,” a government spokesman said. The government closed down the school in 2011—as a step up for their country. Former teacher, Xi Lun Chin, however disagreed. He viewed the school as a great place for kids to learn, saying: “The acoustics were great. We had the best choir. There were also all kinds of rock formations on the walls which made for interesting geology lessons. And we didn’t need biology books. We had bats and lizards around all day!”
If you know someone aged three to six who can't get enough of the outdoors, then forest kindergartens might be just the thing. These kindergartens are situated in the middle of forests, no matter what the weather is like. Yep, that means rain, snow, and even hail won't stop these little adventurers…ahem, students… from having a blast!
Children who attend forest kindergartens dress in layers during the winter and on really cold days, the teacher sometimes builds a roaring campfire. Of course, it's not just about staying warm; it's about discovering the wonders of nature.
In forest kindergartens, young kids learn to embrace nature's challenges while living it up outdoors. Children play, learn, and tackle their fears head-on –whether it's heights or bugs – all while surrounded by trees and wildlife.
Imagine waiting for the school bus in the pouring rain or walking to school in an inch of snow? You might as well be imagining the journey that children from Gulu Village in China made to their elementary school every day. Their school, also known as the School in the Clouds, involved a five-hour trek up a mountain with narrow passages and sharp turns daily. Classrooms in this school were made of mud, and the roof leaked, and there were no bathrooms.
But then, devoted teacher Shen Qijun began teaching in the school in 1985 and she encouraged the villagers to rebuild the school.
The new concrete school building was made of concrete and boasted five classrooms and one bathroom. A basketball court and blackboard with two wooden posts were also built in front of the school building. Of course, to avoid losing their balls down the mountain, the boys had to play very carefully, probably upping their playing skills.
The new school building stayed around until November 18, 2011—a short while after the first newspaper article about the school was published and donations began to come in so that the school was able to move to a new building at the base of the mountain
To reach their school in this village, Indonesian students must cross a broken suspension bridge running above the Ciberang River. Children grasp the side steel bars of this bridge to reach the other side . But here's the thing: There's another bridge in the area that's safer to use. However, the kids like using the broken bridge because it saves them an extra 30 minutes of walking. Almost like Goldilocks and her unsafe little shortcut! Hope they don't meet any bears along the way.
cups Frozen Cherries
tbsps Tart Cherry Juice
tbsp Raw Honey
Thaw the cherries for five minutes before blending.
In a food processor, blend the cherries and juice until it resembles shaved
ice. Scrape down the sides then add the honey. Blend again.
Scoop into bowls and serve immediately, or store in a resealable container in
the freezer for one hour for a firmer texture. Enjoy!
Schenkolewski
After the news broke of the passing of longtime Lakewood community activist Rabbi Yisroel Schenkolewski, Lakewood Township officials mourned his passing and shared memories honoring his distinct legacy of community service, which was instrumental in shaping the Lakewood of today.
“It is impossible to put into words the immense impact Rabbi Schenkolewski had on Lakewood,” says Mayor Ray Coles. “On a personal note, ‘Schenky’ was a friend. He was my teacher, advisor and confidant – my ‘Rebbe.’ I like to think that some of my love for Lakewood was an outgrowth of him sharing his love for our town with me.”
Deputy Mayor Menashe Miller, who grew up in Lakewood in the 1980s, says that Rabbi Schenkolewski’s impact was already visible back then. “Rabbi Schenkolewski was a one-man operation whose activities morphed into many of the volunteer service organizations we see today,” he reminisces. “In particular, in times of tragedy, Heaven forbid, families and community activists knew him to be the address to help navigate even the most challenging predicaments.”
Committeeman Meir Lichtenstein, who serves as the Township’s emergency services liaison, recounts, “Rabbi Schenkolewski had a unique blend of fairness, wisdom, calmness and ferocity. This helped him accomplish so much of behalf of Lakewood and turned him into a father figure for those involved in communal and governmental affairs today. Rabbi Schenkolewski will be sorely missed by all who knew him, and we will continue doing our best to fill his great shoes.”
Committeeman Isaac Akerman echoed these sentiments. “Rabbi Schenkolewski was a pillar of the Lakewood community,” he explains. “For many decades, he was there for everyone, at all stages. His legacy will always remain an inspiration for our entire town.”
Bais Faiga - Bais Rivka Rochel - Bais Shaindel - Bais Yaakov Oz
Vehadar - Bnos Devorah - Bnos Bina - Bnos Orchos Chaim - Chein
Bais Yaakov - Bnos Yaakov - Bnot Yisrael - Moreshes Bais
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A timeless collection of unique silver Judaica masterpieces by Ben Shirall London
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The Forefathers Collection Etrog Box Model: Engraved
We will be visiting the US next week Please call or email to arrange an appointment
Aaron H Deblinger
Note: If your vehicle has been picked up by any other towing company, we’ll bring it to our shop at no cost to you.
2 tbsps Tahini
tbsps Water
1 1/2 tsps Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 tbsp Lemon Juice
1/8 tsp Sea Salt
1/2 cup Purple Cabbage (chopped)
1/4 cup Radish (sliced thinly)
1/3 cup Lentils (cooked)
3/4 cup Baby Kale/spinach Combine the tahini, water, olive oil, lemon juice and sea salt in a bowl. Whisk to combine.
Add the tahini dressing to a mason jar followed by the chopped cabbage, radish, lentils, and kale. Seal with a lid.
When ready to eat, shake well and dump into a bowl. Enjoy!
Davening
Biala Rebbe visits the Yeshivas Bein Hazmanim
Ingredients:
1 cup of margarine
2 cups of sugar
1 tsp of vanilla
5 eggs
3 cups of flour
1 Tbls of baking powder
3/4 cup of orange juice
Drizzle:
2/3 cup of sugar
1/4 cup of margarine
1/3 cup of orange juice
Procedure:
Preheat oven to 350° 1. In a mixer cream margarine, sugar and vanilla 2. Beat in eggs one at a time 3. Add flour, baking powder and juice 4. Pour batter into a greased 9*13 pan 5. Bake for 50 minutes 6.
Drizzle:
NINE BY THIRTEEN 505 - 913 - PANS 7267
Combine sugar, margarine and orange juice in a small pot 1. Cook over low heat until margarine is melted 2. Pour over warm cake and let soak in 3.
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Ingredients
1 16 Oz bag frozen green beans
12 oz sliced pastrami
4 Tbsp margarine
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 Tbls soy sauce
1 Tbls teriyaki sauce
Procedure
Lay pastrami on a flat surface
Put about 5 green beans on top and roll up
Continue until all pastrami and green beans are done
Place in a greased glass oven proof dish
Sauce
Put margarine, brown sugar, soy sauce and teriyaki sauce into small pot
Cook until boiling
Pour over green beans
Bake @ 350 for 15 minutes uncovered
Apt for Rent
brand new above ground room, separate entrance and bathroom suitable for office or playgroup plenty of parking, nice yard please call or text 908-7838073
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Customer Service Manager
Children’s fashion company in Howell,NJ seeking experienced customer service manager. F/T or P/T in house $35-$45 hourly, great benefits!
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Excellent opportunity!
Nursery morah and assistant positions available in chassidishe cheider for the upcoming ’24- ’25 school year. Amazing support and environment. Call for de -
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OLIVIA JEWELRY RENTAL
Gorgeous selection of fine costume jewelery for your simcha or special occasion. $25 for the first piece and $15 for each additional piece. Located in prospect square 35 lewin ave. Contact 773-503-9132
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Chicks for Sale: $5 each- call/ text 848-222-9148
Eczema
Heal without cortisone. Remarkable results. 732-597-2835
For sale $500 gift card to Fino custom, selling for $485 call only 732-228-2103
Brand new LG Classic flip phone, tracfone locked Only 150.00! Call/Text 240903-1456
Selling 2 bnos Hadassah jumpers at reduced rate. Size 5, Brand new with tags 732-597-2835.
For sale Cole Haan zero grand shoes size 11 $85 call only 732-228-2103
Valco Baby Snap
Duo-Double Stroller for sale.
Used very very minimally, looks brand new. $550 Please text 917-562-7088
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Selling Maxi Cosi baby swing . New condition . Hardly used . Color classic. retail price $199. Asking $130 Call\text 248-765-0427
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2 brand new Honeywell 18 inch dishwashers, scratch and dent sold on Amazon for about $400 Selling for $145 each Call only 872- 223 -1831
Adorable five months old bunny for sale , with cage and food $100 Call or text 848-480-5307
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Keyboard stand for sale: Selling z-style Keyboard stand For $40 OBO, Call: 508-292-8589
Freezer for sale: Frigidaire 7 cubic foot chest freezer used for 3 weeks $150 OBO 732-886-5098 ( no text)
STUNNING GOWN:
Custom ivory gown size 4/6. Pls call/ txt 848-226-9204
Brand new in box SEGWAY ELECTRIC SCOOTER 11.2 miles per hour. $125 obo. Retail is $225. Please call or text 424-731-3169. Pickup in Lakewood.
$500 gift card to Fino custom, selling for $485 call only 732-228-2103
Beautiful white lace sis of the bride gown rent/sale. Size 2 with room to let out. Price negotiable. Text 347-962-9419 for picture.
2 stunning matching simcha dresses for girls, sizes 8 (short) and 16 (long), soft peach/cream color. Call or text 848-222-9688.
Selling a master bedroom furniture in great condition, call or text 347-569-1053
Designer, show stopping cream and floral embroidered gown for sale. Ladies or teens size eight. Please call 732-331-6588
07 Accord 165k miles $2500 text 732-963-1828
Camry 159k miles $3750 text 732-963-1828
BEAUTIFUL SPARKLING POOL WITH GAZEBO
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Alterations by Hadassah located in Finchley area. Flexible hours 518542-0234 text prefered
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MR WERTZ’BERGER’S RENTALS
We rent out wireless Wifi, Laptops, Clarinets, Violins. Prices are between $13-$25 per week.
Clarinet & Violin come with free MP3 lessons in English or Yiddish.
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FUN SCHOOL
Girls ages Primary 1st, 2nd & 3rd grade - From Aug 26th to Aug 30th - 10am to 2:30pm - 74 Birch St
Call Leah Cohen 732 -9050869 - $75 for the week
ALLERGY FRIENDLY
babysitting New!! Chestnut Area Call 347-760-7134
Heimishe woman looking to be a mother’s helper, light housework, cooking, laundry, mending, child care, etc. 6-8 hrs a week, afternoons, pref in South Lakewood. 732367-6418
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Day & Evening Babysitting
Possibly in your House also - 732-367-5369
Found
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Large sum of money in Bais Aharon right side before Purim. Text 1 810 -210 -1424
Lost
duffle bag on the rockshire 7pm van Sunday Aug 18 from lkwd to monsey. If found please call 845-642-5487
Book library-adult & children’s english book library. Over 1,000 books. Located near Segull Square plaza. Call /text(848) 525-5909.
New tznius hospital gowns in Oak and Vine. Please call: 347-486-2994 or 347-6336329
Vort Dress Gemach
If you have a perfect condition Simcha dress that you would like others to benefit from, please call/text (848) 245-2633.
The Pickup Gmach-Picking up your current last season’s kids clothing in good condition and passing it on to local Lakewood families who appreciate it and wear it right. We keep outfits and matching together as sets. For pickups email pickupgmach@gmail.com
Baby Gear Gmach. Some items to borrow, some to keep. Find us in local directories under Gmachs, 732-370-1868.
New tznius hospital gown gemach in Oak and Vine. At no cost. Please call: 347486-2994 or 347-633-6329
Speaker System for Small Events (with mic) 7320-510-3917 call/text Jackson, Bates Area
Gemach Zichron Feige
Stunning childrens gownsmatching collection from sizes 9 months untill size 18 for appt call 908-461-0058
If you have up-to-date, beautiful childrens gowns in all sizes you’d like to donate to our gemach please call
Gemach zichron Gittel ladies gown gemach. Beautiful gowns size 0-20 (732) 908-8263
Gemach Zichron Naftali jewish dvd gemach/challenging times. Men/women/kid dvds -2 week, provide dvd player/917-628-1785
Simcha Toy Gemach Keep children busy, happy so the adults can enjoy the Simcha!
Borrow toys for yourSimcha, 732-730-9127 notext Email:GemachNefeshChaya@gmail.com
Bris set Gemach for your simcha: Poya, pillow, beautiful outfit with accessories. please call 732-994-5887
BRIS PILLOW/OUTFIT GMACH: 848-245-3347
Free items available for anyone with low vision. Contact NAHORA. Fortune@ Nahora.org, 917-968-5828 or Abie@Nahora.org, 718-9869602.
AYIN HORAH
The renowned Rebetzin Aidel Miller from Yerushalayim Is always available to remove Ayin Horah over the phone. Call: 718.689.1902 or 516.300.1490
Amshinov Rebbe at Siyum Mesechtes of Amshinov Bucherim
Davening at the Zion of the Satmar Rebbe Zy”u on the Yurtzeit
Tenoim for Great Grandson of the Skver Rebbe with Daughter of the Rachmestrivkah Oak and Vine Rebbe
Rabbi Elimelech Biderman Motzei Shabbos in Yerishulayim
