Transsexual. Dating. Love. Sex.

1. Crossdressing Terms and Definitions - The Transgender Community Has a Language All Their Own 2. How to Identify Trans Women 3. Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Trans Woman 4. Does Dating A Transsexual Make Me Gay? 5. 16 Things I Learned From Having Sex With Trans Men 6. How to Structure a Winning First Email to a Transgender Girl 7. Top 5 Mistakes Guys Make With Transsexual Women 8. How to Date a Transgender Person 9. How to Find A Partner Online 2

10. How to Make Love With the Transsexual Female

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Crossdressing Terms and Definitions - The Transgender Community Has a Language All Their Own The first time I had a wife tell me that her husband was crossdressing, I realized I was ill prepared to counsel her and especially unprepared to talk with her husband. Since then, I have learned the language of the transgender community and thought I would share with you a few of the most commonly used terms.

Androgynous - Someone whose gender is not obviously apparent based on outward appearance.

3

Being Read - Or "getting clocked" refers to someone realizing that another person is crossdressed and is not an actual member of the gender they are presenting themselves to be.

Crossdressor - Once known and commonly referred to as a transvestite, a crossdresser is a person who wears the clothes of a member of the opposite sex. They will often act as a member of the opposite gender as well and usually do this for emotional or sexual release.

Drab - Wearing the clothes normally associated with your actual sex.

Wearing a suit if you are a male to female crossdresser would be an example of this.

Drag Queen - A male who is often times gay who dresses as a woman in a manner that exaggerates typical female traits, very flamboyant.

En femme - When a male to female crossdresser is crossdressed and not wearing typical male clothing.

Hermaphrodite - Someone born with partial or full reproductive organs of both sexes also referred to as Intersexed.

Stealth Mode - Someone who is living full time in their preferred gender, never revealing to anyone their actual birth sex.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Trannie - Slang term for transsexual.

Transgender - Term that is used for anyone who breaks traditional gender roles.

Transsexual - Someone whose gender identity and actual physical body are not in sync with on another causing enough emotional discomfort that altering the body through surgery and/or hormones is usually required.

Shemale - Derogatory term used to describe a pre-op transsexual who has already taken measure to develop breasts but still has a penis.

4

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

How to Identify Trans Women So, you’re out and about, right? Maybe you’re at the gym. And, like any normal person, you’re looking around at the people on the machines around you. After all, you have to do something during the commercials that play every two minutes throughout the Friends reruns you’re watching on TBS. So why not take in the scenery?

Anyway, you’re looking around, waiting for Friends to come back on.

Maybe you’re waiting for Monica to say something smart, or for Chandler to get made fun of for being too sensitive, or for Joey to act like a human Labrador Retriever, or for Phoebe to be sensitive and new-agey, or for Ross to be an insufferable turd, or for Rachel to be cute and flirty. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Because, as you look around, you can’t help but wonder, “Are there any transgender women here?” And then, a moment later, you’re hit by the anxiety that comes from the realization that there very well might be trans women around, and you have no way of knowing.

5

Well, take heart my friend. Because while in the past you had to just sit down and let the existential dread of never knowing if the woman next to you at the gym is trans overwhelm you, that’s about to change. After having been an active instrument of the Trans Agenda™ for a couple years now, I’ve decided to forgo the general rules of decorum among trans women and teach you how to clock us (identify, or spot us) out in public — starting at the gym.

As I’m sure you’re aware, the easiest starting point in clocking trans women is by way of their physical features.

So you will need to analyze the physical features of the women around you, and look for traits that are generally outside the boundaries of your everyday expectations of “normal women.” Even trans women who “pass,” or who are read as cisgender (meaning, they are assumed to have been assigned female at birth), are vulnerable to being clocked when analyzed in this manner. But where to start?

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Height Height is perhaps the easiest thing to look at first. Trans women are generally much taller than their cisgender peers. The shortest trans woman is invariably of “average” to “above-average” height for a woman. So, a trans woman of “average” height compared to other trans women is downright statuesque when compared to her cisgender peers.

6

Unlike high fashion models, whose height often accentuates their frail frames, the height of trans women speaks only of excellence, and fortitude. It is a height that comes from an unrelenting and undaunted pursuit of freedom and justice. Trans women shine out, like a beacon of this freedom and justice, over the forces that seek to see them bent or broken.

Legs Now, obviously, height alone won’t get you very far. After all, there are some — not many, but some — statuesque cis women. That’s why, after considering height, you need to move on to a more fine-grained analysis of the women around you. For example, you might take a moment to look at the legs of the women around you.

Trans women have incredibly long legs. In addition to their length, trans women’s legs are often firm and unyielding — particularly when it comes to their quadriceps and calves.

Some say this is due to the effects of testosterone. However, those who have been around for a while know that this is not the case. The truth is that trans women have powerful, muscular legs because they carry Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

with them a near immeasurable amount of self-confidence every day — selfconfidence that would weigh your average cis woman down.

Laid over this raw power, there is also a softness — a downright sensualness —that amplifies the attractiveness of trans women’s thighs and calves. The legs of trans women are not all harsh angles and strength. They are supple, and smooth, and graceful.

Trans women have the sorts of legs that make you think, “She could snap someone in half with those!” And, if you really want to be certain that you’ve found a trans woman, look for the legs that, regardless of your gender or sexual orientation, make you wonder if the woman in question might snap you in half, if you treated her well and asked nicely.

Shoulders But of course, these sorts of powerful, beautiful legs are not entirely unique to trans women. Some cis women have rockin’ legs. That’s why you should also look closely at the shoulders of the women around you.

7

Trans women have broad, elegant shoulders. You know those powershoulders women often talk about wanting?

You know, the kind that say, “If you screw with me, I will flip you over my head into the nearest trash bin?”

Trans girls got ‘em in spades. You’ll notice these immaculate, commanding shoulders peeking out from workout tanks, stretching out below elegant necks, and mirroring the width of the owner’s hips.

When facing trans women head on, you’ll likely notice that their shoulders are bridged by strong but delicate collar bones. When looking from behind, you’ll note how smooth the transition is from their latissimus dorsi into their trapezius and deltoid muscles— forming a soft but commanding “v” that accentuates their waist and smooths the contour of their backs to Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

perfection. Backs, which I must say, are likely to be straight, and which are rarely hunched over.

Face Again, these traits can often be found in some lucky cisgender women as well, so after looking at shoulders, you must move on to looking at the faces of the women around you.

The faces of trans women are often different from their cis peers in a variety of ways.

8

For example, trans and cis chins are often different.

The chins of trans women are usually slightly larger than those of cis women. This is no accident. When trans women raise their chins up slightly, they want to be sure that the gesture thoroughly conveys the sense of personal pride that they have. A smaller, more petite chin can convey pride, sure. However, such a diminutive chin often conveys pride of the aristocratic or elitist sort. On the contrary, the pride that trans women have is a wholesome, blue collar sort — the sort of pride earned through a hard day’s, or a hard life’s, work.

Trans women likewise often have a stronger jaw than most cis women. This comes from years of practice in being, and looking, determined. Through the countless occasions in which trans women have to set their jaw and push forward with composure and grace, it inevitably develops a certain width and breadth that says, “I know who and what I am, and what I am is unstoppable.” This sort of determination is hard won, and so trans women wear it for all to see.

Finally, as you may be aware, trans women often have a somewhat more pronounced brow than their cisgender peers. This brow, while not present on all trans women, is related to the intense scrutiny and analysis which trans women often devote to concepts like “womanhood,” “the patriarchy,” “oppression,” and “the gender binary.” If you find a woman with such a brow, you can be sure that she is a highly intelligent, brave, and Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

revolutionary sort of woman — and when combined with the other traits discussed here, she might well be trans too.

Putting It All Together If by now you are thinking it is nearly impossible for one woman to have all of these privileged traits, you’re not wrong. Most trans women are lucky to have two or three of these traits. This is why you must look at all of these traits in a holistic manner.

9

However, you can be relatively sure that you have found a trans woman when you have found a woman who stands head and shoulders above her peers; who is powerful and sensual; and who commands respect. You can be sure that you have found a trans woman when you have found a woman who is proud of herself; who is determined; and who is intelligent, brave and revolutionary.

Of course, there are many cisgender women who one might describe in this way, but chances are if you start by looking for the sort of woman described above, you are well on your way to identifying the trans women at your local gym.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Trans Woman

The dating scene for transgender women offers a unique set of challenges that cisgender — someone whose gender identity matches their biological sex — women don’t have to deal with. Fetishization, discrimination, harassment, and even homicide aren’t unheard of for us, but it doesn’t have to be this way. In order to spare my fellow trans women from the often harsh reality of our attempts at finding love, I wish the people who dated us would keep these things in mind:

1. SAVE THE BEDROOM TALK FOR THE BEDROOM

10

Christine Jorgenson was a World War II veteran, but ask anyone familiar with Jorgenson and they’ll be surprised. No one knows anything about her other than the fact that she was the first trans woman to receive genital reconstruction surgery.

The preoccupation with trans women’s genitals has been lengthy and disturbing. We’re tired of being objectified over what’s in our pants, and genital reconstruction surgery is often a deeply personal topic. Besides, should the topic of discussion on your first date really be a woman’s vag? Awkward. There’s a time and place for everything. Know when it’s appropriate or necessary.

2. THE BEST WAY TO FIND AN ANSWER FOR YOUR QUESTIONS IS A GOOGLE SEARCH.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

If you treat the date like a dictionary, we’re probably already shuffling in our purse for our car keys and telling you we have to run to the bathroom.

Know what trans means and don’t expect trans women to be your professor on gender studies, because who wants heavy discussions on a date when you could be drinking wine? I Googled everything I wanted to know as I came to terms with my gender identity, so spare the textbook talk with a Google search, a book, or an actual classroom. There are vast amounts of tools for knowledge — don’t be afraid to use them. In fact, consider being educated your responsibility.

3. DON’T LET WATCHING SEX ONLINE BE YOUR STUDY GUIDE.

11

The job market is a huge barrier for trans women and poverty is high among our demographic. In fact, a whopping 57 percent of trans people have faced some form of discrimination in the workplace. As a result, researchers say that trans women are the highest demographic to turn to the sex trade to find meaningful work. If nothing else, trans women in the adult sex movies and the sex trade remain a top-seller among straight men.

According to the sex site Pornhub, the “shemale” category ranks 22nd in most searched — that’s a lot of sex on the interent. Let’s not forget, however, that the adult sex movie industry is often unrealistic. Know what labels are respectful to us and which ones aren’t.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

4. BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS ARE NOT CUTE. “Wow, I would have never known you were a man — you look just like a woman!” or something similar isn’t a compliment — it’s just rude. The message that is being conveyed to trans women with this type of exchange is that we’re engaging in a form of trickery, a disguise to pass as something we’re not. As Janet Mock, author of Redefining Realness put it: “I am a woman. I live my life as a woman and that’s how I should be perceived.

I’m not passing as anything — I’m being. Being myself.”

12

5. WE DIDN’T TRANSITION JUST TO DATE STRAIGHT MEN. This is a terrible yet too often perpetuated myth. Trans women don’t transition to fool straight men into sleeping with us. This disgusting form of ignorance has been sensationalized in both television and film. It’s one of the many reasons why I personally choose to openly state that I’m a trans woman on my tinder profile. And what about Trans lesbians? Trans women aren’t likely to change our sexual orientation after transitioning.

Those of us who were attracted to women before transitioning are still likely to remain attracted to women. The numbers show that between 40 and 60 percent of trans women identify as bisexual or lesbian, so whether it’s men, women, both or none, we can date whoever we want.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

6. GENDER AND SEXUALITY ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. Dating us doesn’t mean you’re gay. Dating us doesn’t even mean you have to be bisexual. If you’re attracted to trans women then you’re attracted to women. Trans women are women — end of story. Many people confuse gender and sex or don’t understand the difference between the two. Gender is fluid while sex is biological and rigid.

Sexual orientation is shaped by your attraction to a person’s gender identity. If you’re a cis man or woman attracted to someone who’s trans, it doesn’t change your sexual identity.

13

7. WE’RE NOT A SECRET SOCIETY. When Tyga allegedly cheated on Kylie Jenner with trans model Mia Isabella, the media went crazy. Tyga’s sexual orientation was called into question and he was shamed by virtually the entirety of the hip hop community. Society shames men who are attracted to trans women by attacking their masculinity, labeling them as gay, or accusing them of having a fetish. Trans women are taught that we only deserve companionship through secrecy.

Being open about your relationship with us conveys the message to society that we deserve to be seen. That trans visibility deserves a safe space to exist which can then foster easier acceptance from others.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

8. YOU SHOULD TREAT US WITH THE RESPECT YOU WOULD GIVE ANY OTHER WOMAN.

14

One of my favorite interviews to date is when Janet Mock turned the tables on Fusion reporter Alicia Menendez, asking her the kind of inappropriate questions that Mock is constantly subjected to by interviewers. Menendez was overwhelmed with questions such as, “Do you have a vagina?

Do you use tampons? When did you begin to feel your breasts budding?” If you find these questions alarming, take note that trans women are the subject of this type of questioning all the time. A rule of thumb to ask yourself is, “Would I ask or expect this of a cisgender woman?” If the answer is no, you probably shouldn’t ask trans women either.

9. DATING A TRANS WOMAN IS A CATCH. Did you know that trans women face some of the highest risks of becoming victims of domestic violence? An underlying issue is the idea that trans women have nowhere else to go, as if abusive men are the only ones who will ever truly love us. I’ve been a witness of too many trans women in abusive relationships at the hands of men. A common response when these women choose to leave them is, “Where will you go? Who’s going to be attracted to you like I am?” Don’t ever assume we’re below the bar. Know that you’re not the only fish in the sea. We have standards too.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

10. GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN AND WE’RE NO EXCEPTION. So take us to a movie, a concert — hell, even a rodeo. Being trans doesn’t mean we are miserable — we just want to have a good time like anybody else.

11. Don't refer to me as a "tranny."

15

Sure, while you might see a lot of trans porn stars labeling themselves that way, many trans women experience it as derogatory.

The term "tranny" makes me feel like a thing rather than a person. Porn companies are giving their audience a fantasy. Unfortunately, these fantasies are all too often produced and directed by cis men. Simply put: Don't let what you see in porn dictate how you communicate with a trans woman.

12. Don't make me feel like I need to be your teacher 24/7 Many guys tend to ask questions, which is good in some circumstances. For example, once we've gotten to know each other, asking me if I'm non-op (transgender individuals who have not had any surgery), pre-op (transgender individuals who have not had genital surgery, but may have had breast augmentations) or post-op (transgender individuals who have had breast augmentation and genital surgery) is fine, since it's a personal question about me.

Asking me what's the difference between a cross dresser and transgender makes me feel like I'm your personal textbook. Also, it's kind of offensive! A lot of this information is available online. Do a little research first, please.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

13. Treat me like a person and not a sexual unicorn .

Men that I've dated tend to oversexualize transgender women as these rare, mystical beings who are always horny and ready to have sex. When I've met men at a bar or restaurant, I've had great conversations with them. Once they ask me out and I inform them of my gender, however, a total 360 happens. Once, when I was at a lounge with a few friends, I went to the bar to grab some drinks and met this guy.

After about 10 minutes of conversation he asked if he could take me out the following night. I leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "I'm a transgender female." His looked shocked, but then he then grabbed my thigh and asked, "Can I see your cock?" Sadly, this is not uncommon territory; trans people are often violated like this. To many guys, we're "good enough" for sex but not to be seen out with in public.

16

14. Be prepared for some "hairy" situations.

Some girls are further along in their transitions than others. When you've recently started dating a girl who is early-to-mid transition, don't look at her like she's Chewbacca for having some facial stubble in the morning. We're likely to already feel insecure about it; guys or girls, please don't add insult to injury.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

15. Be secure with yourself and the relationship.

17

If you are only comfortable with me in the bedroom, then you are not comfortable with yourself. You should be able to be secure at the beach, coffee shop, and anywhere else. Trans women can sense when men are insecure about dating us because they don't show affection like they would behind closed doors. A friend of mine told me that a guy she was seeing would intentionally walk ahead of her and not show any form of PDA, and only wanted to do takeout from restaurants.

She asked him why he kept doing this and he said he didn't want anyone to know they were together because she was not very "passable."

This, my friends, is the definition of a true asshole.

16. Don't stereotype me.

Yes, there are some trans women who are escorts; however, that is not the case for everyone.

Way too often, guys will throw around some equally bigoted remark and then say, "Don't be offended, I don't know much about this stuff," as if ignorance makes it OK for you to imply I'm a prostitute.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

17. Don't compare me to cis women. , like she's not really a girl.

We are not and will never be cis women. So, when you're talking to a trans woman, don't refer to cis women as "normal" or "regular" girls. This can come off pretty damn ignorant and make a trans girl feel like you see her as something abnormal

18. Yes, I graduated from college.

18

When I go on dates, so many guys are surprised to hear that I attended a four-year college and have graduated.

Being a trans woman does not mean we all come from broken and battered homes, and have no education or plans for our future.

19. We need to get through one date before discussing sex.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

I need the time to know you before I can let you in my bedroom. I cannot count how many dates I've been on where within the first 15 minutes, guys are asking me about what I'd like to do to them. This is a massive turn-off. If I wanted sex right now I wouldn't be here, on a date in a public place, with my clothes on, and not in your bedroom.

20. But we should still probably discuss sex before we do it.

19

If you're dating a pre-op girl, there are many things to consider that might not come up when dating cis women. For example: oral stimulation. How comfortable does the man feel performing it, and how comfortable is the woman receiving it?

Some pre-op trans girls are opposed to having their penis touched and some are comfortable with it as long as the guy is comfortable.

This is a relationship and what happens between those four walls is something that is shared between you two. So if your male partner is more inclined to give oral or even be penetrated, have at it. Just talk it out first.

21. Dating a trans woman does not make you gay.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Dating a trans woman is ultimately dating a woman; what you are attracted to physically is typically her femininity. We are not men. Yes, we were born boys and some of us may have the same genitals, however, there is more to a relationship than just your junk. And hey, there are many "straight" couples who incorporate "pegging" or strap-ons into their sex lives. The labels are just not necessary.

Love is love.

22. I am not an experiment.

I am not your lab rat or personal science experiment.

It's already hard for a trans girl to genuinely date or be in a relationship, because of, oh, I don't know: points nos. 1– 11. Guys, be very clear and up-front about what you are seeking. If it's not something the woman is looking for, then move on.

20

23. No, not all trans women are porn stars.

If you came into the relationship thinking you were about to have the wildest, best sex that makes you pop like warm champagne, you might need to reconsider. Porn is fantasy; not every girl is going to give you Mia Bella in sexy lingerie and serve you a platter of the raunchiest sex you've had. Don't let porn overshadow the girl.

24. Be accepting and supportive of the transition.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

There are so many steps within our transition, and more than likely each of them costs a substantial amount of money. From hormones and laser hair removal to breast augmentations and gender confirmation surgery.

You have to be patient because it truly costs for us to be the woman we see ourselves as. Don't be the guy to lose out on a great girl because she hasn't had her breasts done yet.

21

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Does Dating A Transsexual Make Me Gay? The short answer is NO. Let me explain why men who date transsexuals are not gay. Firstly, it needs to be known that every man has their own likes and dislikes in terms of sexuality and emotional companionship.

Many "straight" men are not as straight as they say they are, but that doesn't necessarily make them gay or bisexual. Just because society likes to label people with straight, gay or bisexual doesn't mean everyone fits into those categories. In the Transgender Dating world those terms don't always match up to reality.

Additonally, transgenderism has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

22

A lot of men will seek out transsexuals for dating and love because they feel that transsexuals are actually more feminine than genetic women. Yes, that is right....MORE feminine! Additionally, men find that genetic women have a lot of hangups in the bedroom department that they feel transsexuals do not have. While that may be true to some extent, it's not a hard and fast rule to live by. Transsexuals who were born in a male body, but have female brain chemistry and are truly women stuck in a man's body until they begin transitioning into a female outer appearance. However, it must be known that nobody should be judged solely on their outward appearance as their are many complicated circumstances that hinder the transitioning process, most of which come from society and financial barriers.

Everyone has a right to date whomever they want to without judgment, however that is just not where society or reality is at these days so I cannot stress enough the importance of living your life in a way that makes YOU happy without worrying about what your friends or neighbors will think.

While some men who date transsexuals may be bisexual, those men who are gay would not be in the slightest interested in dating someone who is NOT actually a man, but a transsexual who embodies everything that is beautiful in a woman.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

It is also important to point out that not all transsexual male to female play an active role sexually with their male genitalia. In fact, many transsexuals do plan to have complete SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) at some point in their lives. Men should not approach transsexuals with the expectation that they will always have another penis in the relationship. Transsexuality is not a sexual fetish, but a gendor dismorphic disorder that stems from before birth. That is not to say that being transgender is a "bad" thing or mental illness, it simply is a fact of life which has not yet been fully embraced by most civilized countries.

In closing I applaud those men who are not afraid to say they prefer to date transsexuals and do not worry about what society will think. But please be aware that the greatest sacrifice is made by those who are transgendered and have to struggle with the constant abuse that society and ignorant men prey upon them.

23

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

16 Things I Learned From Having Sex With Trans Women

24

Before I went to college, I was closeted. I barely count those eighteen years as part of life. Why would I? That wasn't me — not really. The most interesting places I've lived — Zambia, South Africa, London — happened during that time, and those experiences were wasted on someone with no cognizance, no words yet. In high school, the only person I knew who was like me was a punk — a mean lesbian with spike collars and pink hair. She teased me outside the lunchroom. I know she had to be tough — ours was a private Christian school with 200 students, and she was out.

In time, she softened. She said hey to me. Then she graduated and disappeared. A few years later, I learned that she transitioned. Dae found his truth, came out as transgender and found his queer family in a city not far from there. We are still friends today. While our journeys are different, we both more or less found the things we needed — the right words to call ourselves, the chosen families we belonged in — at the same time. Dae has become a remarkably handsome man, and in many ways, he was my first sign that others were out there — back when I simply knew I was "other" and that was all I had.

Other sexy trans men came later — casual hookups and kinky playmates — who taught me some of my most important lessons about being queer. Here are some of them.

1. Past lives are past lives. You don't return to them.

After a hot sex session, I once asked a trans man what his name was before he transitioned. He said, "No, sorry. I don't say that. It's my deadname." I Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

thought I offended him and apologized. He said it was OK and told me something I'll never forget: "You know when you look back at old photos of yourself and remember how miserable you felt? That's what it's like to think about that name. That life is behind me."

I can barely look back through those photos. I see me, a lanky pipsqueak squinting through big teeth, someone with no clue how to live in my body, no understanding of what it was feeling, and no words to describe it. I'm so grateful to be here now, to have moved into a better life. Sometimes you have to cut your timeline and never look back.

2. Don’t assume anyone is straight because of how their gender is presented.

This should be obvious, but apparently not. I talked to some transmasculine friends while writing this piece, and several explained that many people assume trans men are only interested in women.

25

When we talk about gay and bi men, that includes gay and bi trans men, too. Assuming anyone is straight because of how their gender is presented is an unhealthy hetero projection — one we don't need.

My ability to detect whether or not someone is gay or bi (what some call gaydar) is faulty, so unless I meet someone on a sex app or at a queer-heavy bar, I face the task of expressing interest and seeing if they're interested back. Thankfully, hookup apps usually do the work for me. If you meet an out trans man on an app like Grindr or Scruff, it’s safe to bet he’s interested in other men.

3. Don't medicalize trans identity. It's not all about surgeries and body parts.

Having a penis doesn't make you a man — nor does having top surgery.

Having a vagina doesn't make you a woman. Sex, too, is not all about parts and anatomy, and focusing too much on physical acts ignores the powerful mental, tactile, romantic, and explorative sides of human sexuality.

During a great early sexual encounter with a trans man, I told him I didn't know what to do for his body or how to make him feel good. "What feels good for you?" he asked. "Let's start there." He told me to focus on feelings, not physical actions — a rule-of-thumb for good sex with anyone.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

4. Don’t assume all trans guys are bottoms.

This seems to be another common misconception. Many trans men are tops! I am a bottom and have only ever bottomed for trans men.

There’s more to being a top than having a penis and putting it somewhere. A good top, in my opinion, knows how to listen, take charge, and deliver pleasure at the right speed and intensity. The sexual tools at his disposal are endless — he has his hands, mouth, fingers, strength, breath, and body weight, along with a myriad of sex toys, strap-ons, insertables, and more that exist.

5. Everyone has different words for their body parts. Ask what his are.

26

I asked a kinky transmasculine friend what an ideal first message on Grindr would be: “I want to do nasty things with you, what should I call your parts?” I asked how he would answer. He uses “pussy” and “hole,” but knows other trans men who use “bussy" (boy pussy).

I told him that when I get in submissive headspace, I like when guys call my hole a pussy or cunt. I also know some cis gay guys who hate the word "cock" and bristle at its use.

Everyone has words they prefer, and those words may change depending on the kind of sex they're having or who they're with. Some trans men say "vagina," others say "front hole" and "back hole." By asking for his words, you’re getting the language you need to talk about sex.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

6. There are so many different queer experiences, but some are universal.

As a cis gay man, I will never know what being trans is like.

But I do know there are commonalities among us — family isolation and rejection, hunting for our people, discovering sex on a different timeline than our peers, living in shame and denial, coming out, exploring our first queer spaces, trying on labels, and finding words that fit.

27

These are the beautiful milestones of queerness that most of us share.

Listen to his experience and share yours, and I promise that by the end of the night, you'll be closer.

7. Don't know how to break the ice? Ask what he's into.

You know the common Grindr script: Sup? Looking? Into? These days, guys seem to dislike one-word messages because they're economical and efficient and no one likes to be reminded of how they're one of many options. But you are — everyone is. Maybe it's brisk and to-the-point, but I ask "Into?" almost immediately. Someone can reply with what sex role they like, list their kinks, or say they're looking for love. At least two men have listed their hanky code colors, which I appreciated.

If you're gay or bi, a trans gay/bi man is likely into many of the same things you are. Start there. This is the same script you'd use to flirt with anyone because trans men are men.

8. Get comfortable with 'they' and 'them' before you ask for pronouns. Don't assume.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

I still remember the few times I slipped up and wrongly assumed a trans person's pronouns. The memories still fill me with shame and embarrassment.

That's good — now I remember to ask. Before you have a chance to do so, get comfortable with 'they' and 'them.' If you're referencing someone whose pronouns you don't know — even if they're not present — get comfortable using gender-neutral pronouns like these.

28

Doing so might feel awkward at first, but after you get into the practice it will get easier. Doing so is not only respectful of a person's pronouns you don't know — it's also one small step in a massive social movement to challenge binarism and take down archaic notions of gender. Using genderneutral pronouns, at least until someone's pronouns are confirmed, is not hard and is something you can do every day. Every 'they' and 'them,' even for people whose gender identity you think is obvious, is a small, vital step in a better direction — one that carves space for genderqueer and nonbinary people.

9. Flirting is a universal language.

I start talking about sex quickly because I'm bad at flirting. But if asking what words he uses to describe his parts seem a little aggressive, take it down a notch and just flirt.

Again, don't break the ice with tactless, fetishizing statements like “I have such a thing for trans guys.” There’s more to him that makes him attractive.

Compliments about a great smile or beautiful eyes are less threatening and genial. Start there.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

10. Getting hung up on preconceived ideas of sex will close you off to new experiences.

Before having sex with anyone, you probably have a pre-built script about how it's going to go. Lose that. I had to learn sex with trans men through their patient teaching. One past playmate, in particular, taught me more about my kinks than I knew and pushed me to new levels of understanding with my body. Getting there requires opening your mind and your body to new sensations and silencing the mental playbook you thought you'd use. Every sexual encounter is different because every person is different.

29

11.Sex is so much more than penetration.

You know the three common sex roles — top, bottom, and versatile — that everyone (not just cis gay men) can be grouped into. There's also a fourth. A couple years ago, The Huffington Post ran a piece by sexpert Joe Kort on gay "sides" — gay men who enjoy sex but do not, for various reasons, like anal penetration.

Gay cis men tend to focus on anal sex as the base requirement of sex — many do not consider other sex acts, like oral sex, to be "sex" at all. As a result, sides often feel embarrassed, ashamed, or left out. But the fact is, anal sex is just one kind of sex, and there are a variety of reasons why one might not find it fun. Some people have health Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

conditions that keep them from enjoying anal sex — others simply don't enjoy it.

I'm not a big fan of oral sex, and could happily cut it from my repertoire without much concern. Some guys feel the same about anal. Thankfully there is massage, rubbing, mutual masturbation, rimming, licking, fingering, and literally endless non-penetrative kinky sex acts you can do.

Sex is a miles-long buffet table — why choose only one thing?

A majority of my experiences with trans men have been dominantsubmissive with me as the sub. In none of these encounters did a penis go in my butt — and they were all fun.

12. Don't be afraid to ask what kinds of touch are wanted.

30

Some trans men don't want you to play with their vaginas, others do. Everyone has certain kinds of touch they like and certain kinds they don't. You're always allowed to ask what feels good — and you should communicate what feels good to you, too.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

13. Pre-sex talk doesn’t have to be a long and heavy discussion.

31

If you meet a sexy trans guy in a bathhouse or sex club, you don't have to have a long, sit-down discussion of preferred words, permissible sex acts, and so on. Like everyone else, many trans guys just want to get laid, not have a lengthy conversation beforehand. Keep it casual — play and be willing to change course if something doesn't feel right.

14. In kink, trans guys are not automatic submissives.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

know many dominant trans men and have played with some of them. Suggesting a man with a vagina wants to be dominated is like assuming every cis gay muscle guy wants to top. If those are your assumptions, good luck.

15. Trans woman are not a fetish. Nor is anyone else.

32

Fetishizing trans men is problematic for the same reason that fetishizing black men and HIV-positive men are problematic. All three fetishes can lead to harmful stereotypes and misconceptions, and all three can actually reinforce stigma and prejudice.

Guys who fetishize black men generally proliferate the negative, racist image of men of color as 'sexual beasts' ready to dominate white men with their massive penises — a dangerous idea that goes back to colonialism and claims made by racist pseudoscientists that black men are more attuned to baser, animalistic impulses like sex because they are less intelligent, less human than white people.

People who fetishize HIV-positive folks think we're all infectious sex maniacs eagerly spreading our "toxic" seed to anyone unfortunate enough to have sex with us — a concept that contributes to the demonization and criminalization of HIV and adds to HIV stigma. And people who fetishize trans men tend to fetishize a false, trans-negative image — the subservient Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

man with a pussy, eager to bottom for a dominant alpha-top. This idea reduces transness to a surgery and contributes to anti-trans hate.

16. Having sex with trans woman doesn't make you sexually adventurous.

You don't get a medal. Trans men aren't a box to check off your fantasy list of wild sexual experiences. It's OK to have sex goals, but as the last point illustrated, fetishizing transness — like fetishizing blackness and fetishizing folks with HIV — is harmful and dangerous.

33

Trans men are men. If you meet a man who you think is really cute, and he's interested in you back, you may have a great sex night ahead of you. When he tells you he's trans, say OK, ask for terms, and have fun.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

How to Structure a Winning First Email to a Transgender Girl Dating a transgender girl is no different from dating any other girl out there. Well, if you are a proponent of online dating, then you should understand the art of drafting a winning first email to a transgender date. Your writing skills should separate you from the rest of the pack if you are to win the heart of a transgender girl through the first email. In the section that follows, you will learn some tips you can employ in writing an outstanding email that can win the interest of the transgender girl of your dreams.

Your email should communicate your genuine interest 34

Just like offline dating, online dating has its own unique set of challenges.

However, what matters most in both cases is making a great first impression on the girl if you are to succeed in your dating endeavors.

Drafting a form email will definitely work against you because ladies can identify when a man is not expressing genuine interest. When this happens, you are likely to be labeled a spammer and your emails will be blacklisted.

Then your hopes of winning girls will be dashed very quickly. As a man interested in the dating scene, this is the most uncomfortable and unfortunate situation you can ever find yourself in. To succeed in communicating great interest, you should make some effort to mention some unique information regarding her. This shows that you created time to know her better, and thus you will stand out from the rest of the pack.

Find some shared interests and capitalize on them Human beings, being the emotional creatures they are, often look for common interests between each other in order to further their communicative goals. Whenever you realize you share some common points with a stranger, it is an opportunity to get to know them further.

This will work even in the case of transgender girls. To win them over in a conversation and establish a connection, you should strive to find things of common interest and disclose them in such a way that attracts her attention and gets her interested in you.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Give genuine compliments The fastest way to stand out as a dishonest man is if you flatter a woman.

Flattery is like an acid that corrodes even metals. You should avoid using flattery to win friends over to you. Instead, employ genuine compliments that confirm the truth about her. It makes her feel good about herself, and everybody who hears a genuine compliment will make efforts to reciprocate such honesty. Of great importance is the fact that you should avoid over complimenting, as it may imply you are not being entirely genuine in your praise.

Make them talk more about themselves If you can get her to talk about herself more, then you will have won the game by far. In other words, direct the conversation in such a way that she is comfortable talking about herself. This will make her feel good, and you will come across as a good listener. These are more points to your advantage in winning her heart.

35

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

How to Find A Partner Online A large number of people are asking How to Find a Partner Online. At the same time as asking this question you should be aware of the Internet Dating Scams that exist and arm yourself with the weapons to identify these.

Let me say from the outset that there are many genuine people looking for love online but, as with all facets of human behaviour, there will always be some who will be trying to profit at the expense of others.

36

I met my wife online and we have had a great relationship, from the time of our first meeting.

I am an Australian and she is from the Philippines and our story proves that you can find your 'Dream Lover" on an internet dating site.

I would like to tell you in this article about some of the scams that I have been made aware of by my wife and also some that I saw first-hand whilst in The Philippines. Unfortunately affairs of the heart can be blind and it is this weakness that scammers will prey on as long as it proves productive.

Common Scams The most Common scam and ultimately all scamming will come back to this - asking for Money......Let's face it, if the person is a scammer they are there to get money from you. If that does not happen after a certain time period they will use their online time looking for other 'suckers'.

These are some of the scams that occur....some I have read about and others I have witnessed.

Please send money for living expenses Father, Mother, brother, Cousin, Grandpa, sister, brother etc are sick and need money for hospital/operation/medicine etc Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

I want to come and visit you. Please send me money for the visa/airline ticket/travel documents.

It's my birthday tomorrow...what will you send me?

Another scam that I witnessed first-hand starts with the person on the end of the webcam appearing very young and very beautiful. They will claim to be 18 or 19 years old but in actual fact can be as young as 12 or 13. With careful coaching from a mother or grandmother and the use of makeup and lipstick to make them appear older, their aim is to attract a lonely old guy who will be prepared to send money to help them out. I saw this scam in operation at the internet cafes in Philippines. What the person on the other end of the webcam cannot see is the adult sitting next to them telling them what to say and do. These adults have lots of experience in manipulating the conversations. The young girl is "the bait on the hook" I have also been told that shemales will often play a similar game, using a young girl to be the webcam image and getting them to type what they are told.

37

Happily married women also use the Internet to scam whoever they can.

We saw attractive women online chatting to several men at a time for a few hours. After their session finished, they would 'brag" that they are off to get their "payments" before heading home to their husband.

Another scam that I personal ly experienced came from a girl who seemed quite nice when we first started chatting. She was on webcam in what I assume, was her home. After a couple of days she said that she needed money for a new webcam. I was amazed when she started to strip and then commented that I could have a show like that 'everyday' once I sent her money for a webcam. Needless to say that was the end of that relationship.

Things to watch For Profiles and Photos Never trust what is written on a photo or what is on the profile. Some girls use a photo of themselves when they were much younger, some use the photo of a film star, actress or singer to lure in the person on the other end.

Some profiles will talk about general things but you can never get anything specific. When you start chatting it is the same - there is never any concrete information in what they say, no matter how hard you press them Webcam

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Make sure that your online chat friend has a webcam and ask them to move it around the Internet cafe occasionally. If they hesitate, be wary, or if there is always a delay it could be because there is something they don't want you to see.

Chatting Chat free and openly. Ask questions and talk on a wide variety of topics.

Your aim should be to get to know the person, their situation, their family, and where they live. Watch as they answer...do they seem interested? Are they excited? Are they sharing with you in the chat box and also with their body language? If they seem to be hesitant in answering or very slow in responding be wary. Do they always look to be distracted as if they are talking to someone else or even running many conversations at once? Again be wary!

Give them an opening to lead the conversation at times....If they are genuine about meeting you as a potential partner, you would expect them to be interested in all aspects of your life, not just your financial capability.

Identifying a scammer?

38

From what I have read and seen, scammers come in all nationalities, all sizes and all ages. There is no way that you can tell a scammer from photos, profiles and even words....all of these can be a front for the real person.

The way that you identify a scammer is by understanding the way that scammers work and the sort of scams that are commonly used. However, the most important thing is to observe behaviour patterns because the true clue as to a person's intentions will come from their behaviour.

One of the most important elements is the period of time that the person is willing to chat with you. If they are comfortable with a chat relationship that has been going for several months and have never mentioned money, there is a good chance that they are genuine. My wife tells me that a person genuinely interested in a true relationship will never ask for money, despite their circumstances. They know that asking for money is a great way to completely destroy any trust that is starting to develop.

You can never be 100% sure if someone is there to scam you as you can never be 100% sure of anything in life. The best that you can do is to take all common-sense precautions and be aware of the common scams that are in operation. If it seems that the person on the other end of the web is trying to scam you, then there is a good chance that is what is happening.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

It's a large world out there and there are many genuine people seeking love.

Don't persist with someone if you doubt their intentions. Move on to someone new until you find a person who gives you the confidence to take the next step.

39

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Top 5 Mistakes Guys Make With Transsexual Women Most guys simply have no clue how to approach transsexual women.

Usually they're so nervous they can't even help but make a mistake. Well, from what I've seen over the years there are a few simple mistakes that I see over and over again. They often get so depressed that they no sexy TGirls will give them the time of day, yet never realize that by fixing just a few simple mistakes they could increase success dramatically. Keep these tips in mind so you don't get shut down as soon as you open your mouth.

40

1. Don't use disparaging terms like "tranny", "Shemale", "ladyboy", etc.

These are terms that exist in the Porn world. If you want a camera documenting your every sexual exploit then maybe that's the route you should take. However, if you want to meet real girls, they don't happen to appreciate being objectified like that. Remember, they are WOMEN. If you have to use any term to note a difference, use "transsexual" or simply: "TS".

2. Don't make any excuses for your sexuality in the first five minutes. Every guy seems to want to blurt out "I'm really not gay... but...", which is most often interpreted as "I'm highly confused right now". Most TS girls like straight guys, not somebody so confused with their sexuality they start the excuses in the first minute of a conversation. And, remember, they are WOMEN, so of course you're not gay. If you display that you are having doubts she's probably going to think you're better off with some dude wearing a wig.

3. Don't assume you're doing them any favors by dating them. TS girls have seen it all. Think of your average nightclub and the male to female ratio.

Now remove about 99% of the women there and replace them with more men looking to hookup, that in essence is the transsexual community. So no matter how good looking you are, how wealthy you are, or how bulky you are at the gym, the girls have seen it all before. Assuming you're doing her a favor is only going to make you look arrogant.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

4. Don't make any allusions to porn WHATSOEVER! The average girl thinks the porn world is a complete misrepresentation of them and it only harbors negative emotions and more distrust. If someone does call you out on it, just say you got into it from a girl you knew and you thought she was cute.

5. Lastly, be patient! Most guys put forth absolutely no effort then are surprised with the minimal results they make. Here's a hint, if you're online, stop spamming every profile and try to make a genuine first impression. If you're going out to the clubs, don't expect to pull your fantasy girl your first night. Put some effort into getting to know some of the regulars and making honest friendships. Otherwise you're destined to be a mark.

41

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

How to Date a Transgender Person

42

For the most part, dating someone who is transgender is like dating anybody else. However, if you are cisgender (not transgender) and it's your first time dating somebody who is trans, you may want to keep a few things in mind.

Think about why you want to date them. If the answer is anything other than because you genuinely like them and want to get to know them better, consider whether your reasoning is a healthy basis for a relationship.

Be sensitive when asking personal questions about your date's body or history. Focus on getting to know them as a person. Most importantly, listen to them: your date will be able to guide you better than anyone else.

Dating a Transgender Person for the First Time

1 Pick a location where your date feels comfortable. Meet your date in a location of their choosing, or ask them to approve of the location you've chosen. If you are choosing the location, opt for a cafĂŠ, bar, or restaurant Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

with single-use or all-gender restrooms. These tend to be safer for trans people to use. 

Don't overthink it! Just run a place by your date, and if they accept, it's probably a good place for them.



If you don't know of any place near you that has a single-use or all-gender restroom, check Refuge Restrooms: https://www.refugerestrooms.org/

43

2 Use the right pronouns. Use the gendered language that fits your date.

If your date is a transgender woman, she will probably use "she/her" pronouns. If your date is a transgender man, he will probably be "he/him."

If your date is nonbinary, they may prefer "they/them," "ze/zir," or other pronouns. 

If you aren't sure what pronouns your date uses, first listen. If someone else who knows them well uses a pronoun, that is probably the correct one to use. You can also wait to see how your date refers to themself.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.



If you don't find out by listening, just tell them your pronouns and ask for theirs. You might say, "I meant to ask you—what are your pronouns? Mine are he/him."



Until you know for sure, just avoid using a pronoun. Use your date's name instead.

44

3 Follow any etiquette that you would observe with a cisgender date. Depending on where you live and what kind of person you are, you might treat people in different ways depending on their gender. For instance, if you're an old-fashioned guy, you might always open the door for women, pay for the drinks, or stand up when a woman enters the room. In that case, you would follow that same etiquette if your date is a transgender woman as well, unless she doesn't like it. 

If you and your date are less traditional, or if your date is nonbinary/agender, you can skip the gendered manners.



If you're not sure what your date likes, just ask. You might say, "Is it okay with you if I pick up the tab tonight?"

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

4 Get to know your date as a person. Just like when you're dating a cis person, the important thing is to get a sense of your date as a whole person.

Ask your date what they do for fun, what their hopes and dreams are, and what they do for work.

45



Share about yourself as well, and find out what you have in common.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

5 Communicate extra before you engage in physical intimacy. If you are about to engage in sexual activity of any sort, ask your date to talk with you about what's about to happen. Your date may have particular ways they prefer to be touched. You may have questions about how to touch them. If there's anything you aren't sure about, just ask. 

For instance, you might say, "I'd like to go further, but will you tell me what you like before we do?"



Ask if there are any parts of their body they don't want you to touch. Some people, including trans people, dislike touch on certain areas of their bodies, such as the back, chest, or crotch.



Ask them what language they want you to use about their body. Your date may be comfortable in their body, but uncomfortable using certain words for it. For instance, a trans man might like it when you touch his chest, so

46

long as you say "pecs" instead of "breasts." 

Ask, or just listen to the words they use and mirror them.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

6 Apologize and move on if you make a mistake. If you slip up and say the wrong pronoun, if you ask a question that offends your date, or if you make any other small mistake, just correct yourself and apologize. Then move on. 

Don't agonize over it! If you keep apologizing and bringing it up, you'll embarrass your date and make them feel like they need to comfort you.



For instance, if your date is a trans man and you call him a "girl" by accident, say "guy, I mean. I'm sorry."



If you don't realize you misgendered someone until much later, use your best judgement. Some people would prefer an apology, but others would rather you drop it.



If your date is truly upset, accept it. Sometimes we hurt people even when we mean well. Let your date have whatever space they ask for.

47

Avoiding Common Etiquette Mistakes

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

1 Don't compliment them on their gender presentation. When a transgender person looks cisgender, this is referred to as "passing." While many trans people want to pass, for safety and other reasons, they probably don't want to be randomly complimented on how well they pass.

Complimenting your date in this way will make them feel like you are focusing too much on their gender. 

Compliments like "You're so masculine/feminine!" or "You look just like a cisgender woman/man!" are likely to offend your date.



If you're a cisgender woman on a date with a transgender woman, a comment like "Wow, you are so much better at makeup than I am" is likely to come off as condescending.



48

This doesn't mean you can't compliment your date on their looks or their style! Just do so without comparing them to cis people. Everyone likes being told, "You look amazing in that new jacket! You're such a sharp dresser!"

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

2 Wait to discuss topics that are too personal. As with any other date, you should be sensitive about what kinds of questions you ask. Don't ask questions that are inappropriate early in a relationship. If you are curious about your date's body, transition, or sexual history, wait for your date to bring it up. 

In general, don't ask a transgender person what sorts of surgery or hormonal treatment they have had. If they want to discuss it, they'll bring it up.



While some trans people are comfortable discussing these topics with friends, most will not want to discuss them with a new acquaintance.

49

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

3 Avoid asking about their pre-transition life unless they bring it up. You may be curious about what your date used to look like, and what their life was like before they transitioned. However, asking this can make your date feel like you are only interested in them because of their transition. It can also bring up a lot of painful memories for some people. 

Don't ask them what their former name was, and never use it on them.

Using a trans person's former name is called "deadnaming," and it can be very hurtful.



If you knew your date before they transitioned, be sensitive about what parts of your shared history you bring up. Talk about things you did together that were not gender-determined.

50

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

4 Remember that your date does not need you to reassure them. Avoid the temptation to tell your date you are "okay" with them being transgender or that you think it's admirable or "cool." You can show that you are "okay" or that you admire your date just by treating them with respect. Telling them you are "okay" with it sounds like you are asking them to thank you for respecting them. 

Similarly, telling your date out of nowhere that they are "brave" may come off as condescending.



Your date does not want you to randomly tell them that you "don't think of them as trans." They are trans. There's nothing shameful about it.

51

Becoming an Ally to Your Trans Partner

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

1 Identify your date clearly when you introduce them. Communicate your date's name and gender when you introduce them. This will lower the chance that someone will use the wrong words to describe them. 

For instance, if you have a trans girlfriend, introduce her by saying, "This is my girlfriend, Amaranth."



If your date is nonbinary, you might help other people learn their pronouns by saying, "This is my partner Andy. They're new in town! I'm showing them around."

52

2 Correct people who use the wrong pronoun, in most cases. Under ordinary circumstances, you should correct people who are confused about your partner's gender. Before you start doing this, though, ask your partner to make sure they are comfortable with this. If they are closeted about their gender or if the situation feels dangerous, you should not. 

For instance, if someone says "What's her name," you might say, "Their name, actually. Julie is nonbinary, so they use "they/them" pronouns."

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.



If the misgendering is casual, you can simply echo the statement with the correct pronoun. If someone incorrectly says, "Your date is cute! Where did you meet him?" You can reply, "Where did I meet her? She and I met at a potluck."

53

3 Don't out them as transgender. Your date has a right to disclose their transition, or to keep it private. Don't tell people that your date is trans unless your date has indicated that you should. Some trans people want other people to know their gender history, because they are proud of what they've experienced, and others want to keep it private. 

Some transgender people "pass," meaning most people assume they are cisgender. If your partner wants to pass, they won't want you to tell other people that they are trans.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.



It's okay to quietly ask your date about it. For example, "Who have you come out to? I want to make sure that I don't accidentally out you to anyone. What would be useful for me to know, to help me protect your privacy?"

54

4 Don't give other cisgender people information about them that is private. If you have someone in your life who is transgender, other cisgender people might get curious and ask you personal questions. Find a way to firmly cut off these conversations. 

For instance, if your friend is fishing for information, you might say, "Oh, I'd rather not talk about my partner's body with other people."

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Dealing with Transphobia and Discrimination

1

55

Take any sign of suicidal behaviors in your partner seriously. If your partner is exhibiting any signs of suicidal ideation, take them seriously. Know that transgender people have higher than average rates of suicide, due to the stresses of dealing with transphobia and cissexism. 

If your partner mentions wanting to die, feeling like there is no hope, or anything that indicates they may be considering suicide, take their words seriously.



Don't leave them alone if they are feeling suicidal. Get someone to stay with them if you can't.



Your partner should have the Trans Lifeline number to call in moments of crisis. In the USA, it's (877) 565-8850.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.



You may also be able to look into LGBTQ-advocacy organizations like GLAAD, which can connect you with Trans resources and educational information.

2 56

Take care of yourself. If you are dating a transgender person, you are dating someone who has to deal with more stress than other people. This means that you will also experience extra stress. Take care of yourself! Get therapy if you can. Stay in touch with friends and family who support you. 

Remember, taking care of yourself is your first responsibility. Even if your partner has a harder life than you do, you shouldn't neglect yourself to take care of them.



Your relationship will only grow if you are both open about your needs and able to set boundaries.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

3 Define your own identity at your leisure. When you start dating a transgender person, some friends and family might immediately ask you if your identity has changed. However, in many cases, you will not feel that your identity has changed or you may feel pressured to either redefine yourself or say that your partner's gender "doesn't count." Instead, take your time to come up with a description that fits how you feel and doesn't discount your partner's gender. Remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation.

57



You might say, "I'm a straight man, and I date cisgender and transgender women."



"I identify as a lesbian and that includes transgender women."



"I actually don't know how to define my orientation without putting myself in a box, so I'm just not doing it at the moment!"



"I'm queer/pansexual/omnisexual. Gender isn't the basis of my attraction."

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

4 58

Connect with other people who love trans people. Make friends with other people who have trans partners and friends. You can make friends by volunteering for LGBTQ organizations and by attending events geared toward LGBTQ people. 

To find a meet-up group for partners of trans people, contact your local LGBTQ center or search online for meet-up groups in your area.



Many

sites

have

resources

for

partners: https://www.transgenderpartners.com/resource-for-partners-2/ 

Transwellness.org

includes

links

to

forums

and

educational

material: http://transwellness.org/resources/support-and-communityresources/soffa/

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

Warnings 





If you are not able to date a transgender person publicly and proudly, don't date them at all. Nobody wants to be treated like a shameful secret.

Don't blame them for other people's behavior. It's not your date's fault if other people are rude or clueless.

If you feel uncomfortable dating any person for any reason, be honest with them about your own feelings, preferences, and limitations. Find a moment when you two are alone and let them know how you feel.

59

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

How to Make Love With the Transsexual Female Sex with a transsexual woman is a literal minefield in a number of ways. In this article, I am going to speak frankly to men about making love with the transsexual female. Why a sex article? This story is about trans women and relationships with men. In most relationships, sex plays a major role.

60

This information has been gathered from many sources. I have solicited comment from many on the various aspects of sex with the transsexual woman, and of course have drawn from my own experience as well.

I’m not going to discuss how to initially seduce a TS or entice one into having sex. We’re making the assumption that both have already decided to yank off their clothes while dashing madly to the bedroom. And so here we go.

Topping the man.

Let’s dispel one myth right away.

Transsexuals are women. Women are generally not the aggressors in bed. Women want to be “taken,” they usually aren’t the ones to initiate sex by pulling their men into the bedroom. There’s plenty of anecdotal evidence to support this notion.

Check out the covers of romance novels in any bookstore, for example. Look into a woman’s eyes — notice how they draw you in?

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

If you’re a “bottom” male hoping that a pre-op or non-op transsexual will bend you over and fuck you, well you can forget about it. Women, transsexual or otherwise, generally do not want to fuck you. They want you to fuck them. As a TS lady friend expressed it to me recently, “Women receive, they do not project.”

For the guy looking to be “topped,” expect to have to pay an escort for that service. That is mostly what they specialize in. If paying for a romp in bed isn’t your style, it is very doubtful you will find it anywhere else in the TS community. Cross dressers, however, are a different matter. These are not women, they are men enjoying a dress-up fetishistic fantasy. You may find what you want with one of them.

Initial thoughts she’s having.

61

If this is her first time making love as a woman, she’s probably terrified. If she’s pre-op, she’s worried that you might want to play with that yucky male appendage that she hasn’t yet converted into a vagina. She may not want you to touch it at all. If she responds with an erection, she may be very embarrassed, and also very conflicted. How many women want to respond like a male? Not many. If she’s like most pre-ops, she would prefer that you pretend it doesn’t exist.

She’s done the orifice inventory. She knows you want more than just a hand job. If she’s never put her mouth on a man’s organ before, she’s no doubt wondering what that will feel and taste like, whether she will gag (or worse), and she’s hoping that you’re very clean. Dude, if you haven’t showered in a couple days, get it done immediately. And make sure you’re squeaky clean before every sexual encounter. And clip your nails, too.

Is she newly post-op or new to vaginal intercourse? She may be concerned about how tight she is. It takes time and experience for that vaginal opening and canal to loosen up. She may be concerned that she’s so tight that it will Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

be painful for you. If you have a very long or thick penis, she may be worried about being able to take you at all.

If she’s new at giving blowjobs, she’s probably hoping she won’t appear incompetent at it, bite you, or inadvertently snag your shaft on a tooth. If she’s never been butt fucked before, she no doubt wonders how painful it will be.

She’s probably wondering if you’ve passed a recent test for sexually transmitted diseases, including but not limited to HIV. Not tested? Go get it done and hang on to any documentation provided by the testing center.

She’s probably wondering whether you will be willing to practice safe sex. If for no other reason than to help her relax, be prepared to do so. She does not want to ruin the mood by having to argue with you about it, and she certainly doesn’t want to risk catching a serious disease.

In short, the TS new to sex as a woman may very well be worried or frightened. Don’t be surprised.

62

Bisexual men and the transsexual woman.

I believe the majority of men interested in TS’s are bi to some degree.

Heterosexual transwomen generally want what GG’s want: A straight man, a guy who appreciates them for who they are, not for their genitals. TS’s typically don’t want to be involved with bi guys. They often cite a few reasons for this: 1. Bi men are attracted to the penis, an appendage they would love to convert into a vagina.

2. Common statement: “He’s not attracted to me, he’s only attracted to my penis.

He only wants a chick with a dick.”

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

3. She wonders if he will still be interested in her once she’s had sexual reassignment surgery to convert that penis into a vagina.

4. They are concerned that a bi guy will be sneaking around on her to meet with men.

5. They are concerned that bisexual guys are more likely to contract STD’s and HIV. As with most issues, there is more than one side to a story. The fact that a transwoman was born male is usually a huge drawback for the strictly heterosexual man. Most straight men (but some are open minded) find the idea of intimacy (sex, kissing) with either a pre- or post-op transsexual to be very unappetizing. Therefore, most transsexuals do not meet many straight men that are prospects for a relationship.

As in the section above where some men pursue an unrealistic desire to find a sexually aggressive transsexual to “top” them, many hetero TS’s similarly pursue strictly straight men. They are seemingly unaware of how most of these men regard the prospect dating a girl who was born male, but nevertheless they still hope to fulfill the desire — shared with millions of GG’s — for a straight man. The evidence says this is a difficult path.

63

I’m speaking to the ladies here: The TS who keeps her transsexuality secret until significantly into a new relationship with a strictly heterosexual man is at high risk of being verbally abused and immediately dumped when that heterosexual man discovers the truth. She is also at high risk of physical assault.

Let’s look at each of the points above from a bi guy’s perspective.

1. A male who has had at least some sexual experience with other men is not homophobic. He can handle the fact that you used to be male. Bi guys are not gay guys. Gay men have no sexual interest in women of any sort.

2. Common statement by GG’s: “He doesn’t want me, he just wants the pussy.” The point is, whether he’s bi or straight, if all he wants is your genitals, it’s not cool. But it is cool if he wants bothyou and your genitals, no matter what sort they are at the moment.

3. An actual bisexual male is sexually attracted to both genders. If he’s romantically interested in you as well, he will probably continue to be so after SRS. After all, he can “go both ways.” And the emotional connection is the anchor.

4. Although filmmaker Woody Allen is quoted as saying, “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night,” it doesn’t Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

mean that a bisexual man will be any sluttier than any other man. Don’t believe everything you see on the Jerry Springer Zoo…I mean, Show.

5. There are lots of monogamous gay guys, lots of monogamous bi guys and lots of monogamous straight guys. Whether someone is monogamous has less to do with sexual orientation than the nature of the individual you’re involved with. A monogamous bi partner will not be any more likely to bring home a disease than a monogamous straight partner.

Do you know of a marriage where a bisexual woman is monogamous with her husband? For how long have you been searching for a man who can accept the fact you were once male?

Heavy petting.

64

This is usually defined as serious foreplay: Stroking her breasts, butt, genital area, and so on. This is one of the minefields mentioned in the opening paragraph. If she’s pre-op or non-op and this is your first time playing around with her, it’s best to not give any attention to her penis. Why? Because you don’t know how she will react.

But if you know for a fact that she’s cool with you touching it — and you’re also OK with it — then go ahead.

Is she post-op? Stroking her vaginal lips won’t release lubricating fluids as with a genetic female, but you can always apply some saliva your fingers to make them slide wetly along the plane of that pussy. Pay attention to her clitoral area. In most cases, as with genetic females, it’s an extremely sensitive spot.

If you plan to insert your fingers, use an actual sexual lubricant. K-Y Jelly is a well-known product available in most grocery and drug stores. Adult stores can provide you with various high-quality lubricants. If you think Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

your upcoming date might get this hot, hey pick some up and carry it with you. You can buy them in small bottles.

“The conversation” with a pre-op TS. There’s something you need to discuss with your lady before it goes any further. It’s about that dick.

65

Are you a straight man having your first sexual encounter with a pre-op TS? She probably expects that you won’t show any interest at all in that dick. If you feel the same way, great, and it would be useful to say so. Then just ignore it and move on. If you find that you can’t get aroused because of the sight of that dick, end the session. Either get to know her better to lower your anxiety level, or say this isn’t for you and terminate the relationship.

Are you a man very much into pleasing your female partner with cunnilingus but are staring at a penis instead? You could be pretty much straight or very bisexual, but if you haven’t yet bolted for the exit, congratulations. It’s time to be forthright and honest with her.

You might explain that orally pleasing your partner is important to you, and you’re OK with touching, stroking or sucking her dick (whether or not it’s your preferred thing to do), but you don’t want to embarrass her or make her angry. Let her know that all you want to do is give her great pleasure. If she’s capable of experiencing that with her penis and is cool with you touching, stroking or sucking it, go ahead.

And ladies, it would be an error to assume that if he’s willing to touch or go down on you that he’s done it before, so don’t assume that he’s bisexual simply because of that. Do remember that even gay men had first-time encounters.

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.

If you’ve never sucked a dick before, you might want to ask her to give you feedback on how you’re doing. And if you’re suddenly feeling nauseated for engaging in what your family and all your friends would label a very homosexual act, for God’s sake find the bathroom in a big hurry and kneel before the porcelain throne.

Did she say she doesn’t want you touching it? Then don’t and do something else, instead.

66

Photos of models obtained from the site tsgirlweb.com. Click here and you will have the chance to meet them.