Unlearn 2021

Unlearn “Before people can begin something new, they have to end what used to be and unlearn the old way.”

— William Bridges

Frank Scott Bunnell High School 1 Bulldog Boulevard Stratford, Connecticut 06614 2021 Edition

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Unlearn 1.

To put out of one’s knowledge or memory

2. To undo the effect of; to discard the habit of The Purpose of Unlearn: In today’s society, it is easy to descend into bad habits, cruel behavior, and deleterious coping mechanisms. We are only human, and many fall prey to peer pressure and a certain measure of hatefulness. The purpose of Unlearn is to raise awareness about serious issues in the hopes that it will help a single person to “unlearn” detrimental habits and become a kinder, more stable, and more successful member of society in all aspects of life. Unlearn is also a chance to give adolescents who deal with such issues a chance to see that they are not alone. It is a reminder that we always have a choice in this world, even if it may not seem that way. Some situations are out of our control, but Unlearn hopes to give individuals a sense of hope that things can and will get better. The staff of this magazine believes that unlearning can only be achieved if one is informed and educated and that hate and disrespect are not condoned or tolerated in any form. Everyone deserves to be treated like a human being—appreciated and respected no matter what his or her differences are—and accepted for who he or she is. But most importantly, Unlearn gives those students a chance to speak even when they cannot be heard.

About the 2021 Edition: You may have noticed that this year, we’re doing something different with our magazine. In the past, submissions to Unlearn have all had authors attached to them. However, in this edition, we’ve decided to eliminate author names and keep each submission completely anonymous. We on the Unlearn staff made this decision to keep the focus on the content of the submissions themselves rather than who wrote them; what’s true; and what’s fictitious. Unlearn is made possible thanks to the support, guidance, and resources of the Stratford Board of Education. It is provided free of charge to every Bunnell student and faculty member thanks to the Stratford Community Services’ Youth as Resource Grant. Unlearn is also only possible thanks to the students who submit to the publication, and the staff would like to commend the writers and artists who contributed to making Unlearn exceptional this year.

A Word about Words: This year, as in others past, the staff has chosen to publish words and subject matter that some readers may find offensive and graphic. Unlearn’s purpose is not only to educate people about important issues we face as adolescents and disillusion them on the subject of certain controversies but also to provide a forum for students to express themselves safely, creatively, and without censorship.

Although we do not necessarily condone or support certain words and subjects that may appear in the magazine, we chose to publish them as written because they are true to the content.

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Table of Contents Title The Life of Mine Watch Tower The Story of Me and You It’s Just Love Apricus Mother and Baby Just Sweating From My Eyes She Chaos & the Calm Dear Drawing Dear Writing Dear Me In a Week Dear Future Self Dear Friendship Dear Cross Country Placid The Way My Beliefs on Happiness The Drumming Heart Winter Blues Time View of You Reflection Shadows Night Ride Privilege Cross x Roads Sea of Secrets Driftwood Hurricane Mystery Script The Last Time Duller-blind Goodbye The Other Side I Can Run Key To Your Heart 2019 Familiar Stranger That Day Winter Woods Night Has Come State of Mind Have To Innocence Growing Old Long Way To the Top

Page 6 6 7 7 8 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 18 19 20 21 22 22 23 23 23 24 25 25 25 26 26 27 28 28 29 29 29 30 30 31 31 32 33 33 34 34 35

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Ruby Key Good Days Monstagram A Third Eye Twisting Trees Running Chickadee Pieces The Great Meadows Salt Marsh Two-faced Slow Dance Icarus Canoeing Around I Imagine Winter Trees What If Bottled Up The Good Side Man in the Middle Tattoo Friendly Reminder Listen Dogma The Dark Angels This Time Loneliness Running Running Far Away IDK Wasteland No Man’s Land Light Dahlia Lost Woods Live Alive Rock, Paper, Scissors Your Light Love Is Better, Help Each Other This Virus Somebody Else She’s a Star Misfit Another Day Extraterrestrial Picture Perfect Think Wide Open Blue Sky How To Grow Emotionally Lotus Inspired by “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals Inspired by “The Hill We Climb” by Amanda Gorman

36 36 37 38 38 39 39 40 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 47 48 48 49 49 50 51 52 53 53 54 54 55 55 55 55 56 57 57 58 58 59 59 60 61 62 62 63 64 64 65 65 66 66

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Lighter The Good Side Weeping Run Writing on the Wall Taking My Time Girl Boss One Way Love Blank Miss You How To Get Over a Breakup A Brush Absent of Touch Rush Hour Pain Testing The Garden of Words Her Dreams Staff Special Thanks (Back Cover) You Haven’t Come This Far

67 67 68 69 70 71 71 72 73 74 75 75 76 76 77 78 78 79 80 81 82 83

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This Life of Mine This life of mine, Has taught me many things.

Like how to live, And how to suffer.

Yet for the lesson to be complete, I cannot accept defeat.

I follow the song of my heartbeat.

This is not a question, But a lesson learned in time, The pounding heart of mine, Pumps ever onward, pushing me to my goal, Filling me with joy, Deep in my soul.

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The Story of Me and You The story of me and you What a beautiful sight On the outside, we’re perfect Like a white swan without a flaw in its feathers On the inside, we’re broken Like a mirror that has fallen from great heights Too shattered to make out the picture Too scattered to find all the pieces See our eyes, stare at our faces The visible look of tragedy tells all A gradual downfall of our sanity The deepening of our sorrow In my mind there’s a block, A block that holds all of our happiest memories The more we fight the more this block cracks As it cracks we slowly lose our love for each other Time flies by and we’ve reached the end, The end of me and you Only time will tell, as we heal ourselves

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Apricus I make my way Two roads diverged in a wood One will lead me to a place of prayer In my goddesses’ shrine Moss clothes her otherwise naked figure Light sneaking through the cracks of the ceiling Flecks of golden sunlight dripping on to the concrete Where I stand nearly camouflaged into the stillness Of the forest that surrounds us It wraps me in its earthy embrace One almost as genuine as yours, My goddess For your presence is all that I need

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She The honey gold of her skin Radiates off the backdrop of this desert Eyes glinting in the reflection of the sun As dusk arrives it bids farewell The moon scrambles to take its place The green of cacti washed out in its white light A stolen billfold lay at her feet Her black dress blending into the night sky She disappears into a sea of stars Left forgotten to be mentioned

Chaos & the Calm The levels of my love Transcend that of language I wish I could convey the feeling that washes over me When the galaxy of stars swimming in your eyes Finally meet mine A tide comes to sweep me away Leaving me breathless on the shore A shipwreck of emotions Storms raging in my mind And yet the ocean before me is calm

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Dear…

Dear Drawing The pencil running against the paper, That sound humming in my ears, The comfort that it brings, I can hear it oh so clear.

To escape into my own world, With the power in my hand, Anything I want to make, I know that I can.

In a world that seems so dark With you I feel I can make it brighter The more color that I add The world seems so much lighter.

So thank you for the journeys, Even if they seem small, Thank you for the fun, Thank you for it all.

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Dear Writing From Scriptures to Seraphs of your own crown, Your glamor and enrapturement left me jaded When I hold a pencil, My heart is overwhelmed by adoration Yet my mind limitless to my own feelings I’m free and boundaries no longer matter My mother gave me the gift of birth But you gave me the gift of life I followed you throughout my life Or perhaps you followed me You held my hand And I held yours When I strive, you await in linings of lead When I fall, your words overwhelm my haughty shame When I dwell alone, you alight my cachet with compassion When I cry, you are there.

You turn brisk tears to inklings of ink You make my lips silent yet my heart ever so loud When I seek refuge, you are my sanctuary You’re estranged in all your gallant grace You hold the world in your hands You hold my world in your hands From the holy land of the Levant, To the seakissed walls, Then the tapestry of stars in the sky To the very ground to which I, as a human will rise and fall.

You are limitless; You lead me to the brinks of oblivion Even then, you hold an affinity for endless dreams I’m left dwelling on your words and falling more in love with you I’ve grown to love your formal figure and even your very flaws Your words are mesmerizing, That not even I can interpret them sometimes.

I fell so deeply for you, That I sometimes forget how much you mean to me.

I forget about your inner workings And then, I try again and again And each time, I only fall more in love with you Your very grasp is ungraspable You’re a mystery and you hold destiny Yet, you became my destiny My fears and lies, they all melt away You await me You walk with me You waltz with me And you’ll never leave me Just as will never leave you May I know you till death do us part, Even then, How can I die when you hold the very essence of my soul on your canvas?

And you will never perish in my cavern of remembrance

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Dear Me It’s in my sights.

The end is ahead.

I want it. I want it so badly.

I told myself I would find it.

Finally, after all this time All these months All these years I can fulfill my wish I can complete the last chapter I can create my masterpiece But my feet ache.

I’ve loved it so far.

Writing. I love it. It calms me.

Way back in November, I made a commitment.

I won’t lie. It was hard.

But at the same time, I could keep running.

It was never a burden.

So I made a promise. A promise to myself A promise to writing.

I’d finish the novel I’d rewrite it, if I needed to.

I’d rewrite it twenty times, if I needed to.

And I did.

But that last stretch…

I’ve been thinking about this all wrong.

I’ve completed things! Big things!

As I write this poem, I look down.

Lines of color look back at me.

Messy white stitching accents them.

Patches of time, work, and love.

My jacket, which I love so much.

I completed that!

I wear it every day. That’s proof.

So why don’t I understand?

Why is my right leg dragging behind on this walk?

I don’t know.

I don’t understand.

But this poem has helped me.

If I complete this poem, I’ll understand.

Everyone says poetry does wonderful things.

Maybe it can help me finish this race.

I’ll be finished.

If I can just complete this poem, I’ll fin-

I’ve reached the end before.

Why do I keep forgetting that?

It’s because I’m biased against myself.

I’m a quitter. I know that.

Is anything actually completed?

They’re exceptions to the rule.

All those stories?

Well, those were too short.

All my art?

Well, that was too easy!

They only took a week at most.

Time equals Difficulty, after all!

I know I’m wrong about that.

But my right leg hasn’t caught up to that.

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Dear Future Self I may not have it all together right now It may even take me awhile to get there The mistakes along the way The bad decisions The reckless behavior But just know this: I will achieve my goals I am determined I am hard working As an 18 year old boy I am still figuring things out Testing the waters as I grow and learn.

I see my future self, grown and proud Money in the bank And a career that I love Some days I am nervous to see what the future holds But I am ready to take it on.

I know it won’t be easy I know I will not always be happy along the way I know at times there will be doubt in my mind.

But I will continue on Believing in myself Encouraging myself Surrounding myself with positive energy and positive people.

I have my family to support me To be there for me To teach me and guide me.

I am ready to take on life The good and the bad No matter what happens next I promise my future self I will always do what I can to be a better version of myself as each day passes.

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Dear Friendship I’ll admit something.

I will be honest

At first I wasn’t so fond of you.

I thought it worked too well.

I spent my childhood alone

I had tried to push you away

Fooling around with whatever new game

Because oftentimes

I could come up with.

You were too scary for me to handle.

I found ways to entertain myself

From my perspective

That I was sure nobody else

You were an obstacle I had to overcome

Could pull off the same way I did.

Rather than a part of life.

I would be lying if I said

But it’s also because of you

That I thought I needed you.

That I realized that wasn’t the case.

As time moved on,

You taught me many things

So did the people around me

Things I wouldn’t know

And the thought of you

Were it not for you.

Bothered me less and less.

You put me through times good and bad

I didn’t think of a future

All of the learning experiences

Where I had you

That helped me become the person I am today.

Instead I focused on the present; Where I was content being without you.

Though our time together had been rough at first Today I am here But one day, I realized that

Focusing on the present

It wasn’t that I thought

And realizing you are my entire life.

I didn’t need you.

For that

The fact of the matter was

I love you.

I couldn’t get you

I know you’ve worked hard for me

Because I never tried to.

So now it’s my turn to work hard for you.

I’ll keep in touch with you And no matter what obstacles you put me through

The thought of you bothered me

You know I love you still.

Far too much for me to ignore.

Cheers.

So for once I tried.

For the first time in my life I tried to get you And it worked.

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Dear Cross Country Lining up on the starting line Nerves at an all time high The start gun fired I scramble to pick my feet up off the ground I’m definitely not the fastest But that's what keeps me coming back Unfamiliar with the ruggedness of you Each course different from the last Some days you’re light and fun And others you’re serious and draining But the fun moments couldn’t exist If the workouts weren’t hard The purity of competition Makes it clear who won and lost The time I run is indicative Of the quality of runner I am Always wanting to improve I want to be the best I can be But there will always be better than me I’m okay with that You make me happy to be done with you each race But I come back the next day Wanting to do better You are the definition of What you put in Is what you get out Thank you for finding me And guiding me to be The best version of me In all parts of my life

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THE WAY Move out the way They say Get out the way They say Stay out of the way I walk silently I walk alone But somehow I'm always in the way I get pushed and shoved Even when I think I´m okay I'm somehow in the way.

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My Beliefs on Happiness Don't live with regrets Rather lessons learned Time is precious Spend it wisely Put yourself first And everything will fall in line Happiness is found when You don't compare yourself to anyone Life is too short to be unhappy I believe love is the most powerful drug But that's just an excuse Everyone is afraid of being hurt But we should take that risk To get a step closer to happiness I believe we are all equals But it seems terror is pinned on race God created us to be different Color, Religion, Language But yet we get shown less respect We live in a divided world It isn't safe nor happy

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The Drumming Heart It goes on and on and on the beating of your heart for me It beats as loud as a drum As present as your blue eyes and as serious as your loving stare My heart once beat for you I wish those feelings could renew on and on and on and on like the beating of your heart I loved you from the start I was there for you when times were blue When you were sad I comforted you as we grew closer my feelings for you bloomed you had your eyes on someone else so I kept my composure and tears Away from you I’m scared I might put you through what you did break you to pieces and leave you with a broken heart How do I tell you I've fallen out of love with you?

If I take too long to respond will you figure it out?

How will I act If you say those 3 words I love you?

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Time The text you never sent me Is the closure I get Knowing that you’ll never Walk through The same door that you left Even though It's a long way to the top I know one day You'll find yours And I'll find mine So I'll take all the faith I had in you And put it in time

View of You What if I told you that my view of you had changed Your voice sounded distorted Your face now looked deranged I was no longer blinded Seeing you was strange I was looking at a monster It was like you’d been exchanged I had tried so hard to fix you But it was me instead whose thoughts were rearranged 22

Reflection.

I’ve tried running But in the dark depths of my mind I saw a girl who was trying to hide.

She was scared of the monster that she saw in herself But I’m not the villain I see I’m truly the hero that I need

Shadows This mind of Mine teeters on an Edge dangling Freefalling Endless seas of an inky Black sky, stars littered

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Privilege From the day my soul entered this world, I was given an identity.

An identity that served as a stepping stool.

An identity threaded with a set, hopeful future; Inherited, unearned, undeserved.

No sacrifice, no despair, just privilege.

Was it ever a thought to compare, the open field I run through with the sharp systemic stones my feet have never touched?

No. For the leaders of our world wouldn’t dare even look upon the jagged rock they created in fear of breaking the skin on their own soft, sheltered feet Therefore, I will bear the utter foolishness and shame of the privilege I do not deserve to possess for all the world to see if it means we will one day, walk in the same field together

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Cross x Roads Which way would I go Which path would I choose Left or right I couldn't choose Both leading to two different endings My decision would dictate my entire future But was I ready To make a big jump like that?

SEA OF SECRETS Our love Lies somewhere in the vast deep blue ocean Below the shoreline Way past the docks Further than the lighthouse Hidden from sight But you say we have infinite possibilities In this sea of secrets

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Hurricane Mystery The woman sat by the window to watch the sky As the hurricane raged tremendously wild, Envelopes, leaves, and, sticks flying, catching the corner of her eye cleary from the mailman’s struggles She watches everything Powerline circuits breaking, roofs tearing off, and . . .

A women in an elegant dress Unphased by the world being destroyed around her Just staring Five seconds later the woman was gone, the raging storm, The damage, and any trace of Her.

SCRIPT Stick to the script I must stick to my script Through ice and snow, Encompassing waves Scorching hot sands I must stick to my script Go to school Go to college Find a job Get married Do not veer off the path Don’t let freedom tempt you Is the uncertainty of freedom worth The rocks they will toss?

Knowing you betrayed them And denied the authority Of your destiny?

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Duller-blind No matter if the sun is away Or if the sky is black and bluish-grey I stare at the void--and it occurs to me There are fewer stars than yesterday.

The light pollutes distant supernovae Hiding colors human eyes can’t see “Red” or “Blue” Whatever it may be Our actions block that reality from us If I could even teleport Light years from the ozone layer To see it for just a split millisecond Perhaps is too much for the galaxy to lend

Goodbye Pray you catch me I’m sort of broken— Thinking the thought of being temperate would help me forget about you Yet It has only brought me pain And to a new low Missing you Wanting you to be mine again Wanting so badly for you to come to me and forgive me for messing up But you’re gone Gone out of my life never to return again

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The Other Side The wind in the fall The cold air in my face Checking my phone for a possible call My phone stood empty and cold He put up a brick wall The cold wind kept my tears away But of course he never cared I recall Put my hoodie on just in case As my warm heart lay against the stonewall.

I Can Run I can run But can never hide In the dark Where I go To hide from my own monsters That I see in me

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2019 I want to breathe like 2019 You know the time before COVID The time where we could shake hands and talk I want to breathe like 2019 When school was in person And chromebooks were for special projects When I was excited to see my friends I want to breathe like 2019 When we saw everyone's full face And you could “say” cheese! in pictures I want to breathe like 2019

Familiar Stranger We were best friends our whole lives Isn’t it funny how much people can change Someone you used to know Slowly turns into a stranger Someone you were so close with Slowly turns into your biggest enemy Your biggest regret It mattered to me I realize now it did not to you I let you in But I can assure you It will never happen again

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THAT DAY Everything has been weird Since the day We argued and fought On that empty pathway It was quiet besides our yelling It was peaceful besides our pacing In each other’s throats On that empty pathway And on that day I lost you For good On that empty pathway

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State of Mind You stay in my mind Manifest into my dreams Wish I could collect memories but I just waste time I always wonder if it was the right person, wrong moment I blame our stars for not being aligned Wonder if you think the same Just want our heart and souls intertwined I just want you next to me Oh, to be in that state of mind

Have To All that I loved I had to erase So that you had nothing with which to hurt me So be it, and it be so, You are nothing to me, I am nothing to you No “ifs” “ands” “buts” “don’ts” No “Do I have to leave? Have?”

Because yes, you have to What’s even the point of showing my face If you don’t have to leave me

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Innocence I wish I could go back. when life seemed simpler. back when I still had that dreamy look in my eye when I was genuinely at bliss. the world we live in today is a terrible guide to look upon as someone who's growing up. what happened to that world that had hope. that world that felt like nothing bad would ever happen. everything you needed was right there in front of you. just pure happiness.

I suppose it wasn't happiness at all just being oblivious.

Not understanding the world enough to see it as it was and yet we saw the world in a completely different view we smiled more we laughed more back when times were simple

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LONG WAY TO THE TOP I tried to wish upon the sky But I left my hope underneath the stars I wanted to sing to you But I didn’t know if my words could reach that far I wrote a story in the skylines Hoping that I could make things right I tried to wish upon the sky But it was way too late into the night I tried aligning our stars Like they were meant to be constellations But I had to undo the work I’ve done I wanted to listen for signs but there was no dictation I have to learn how to heal without you Because even through tough times, the world doesn’t stop It’ll take some time, but I know that I’ll be okay It’s a long way to the top I hope that you become the person you’ve always wanted to be I hope you get to witness the person that I wanted you to see I tried to wish upon the sky But it didn’t really help me

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Ruby Key There is a house Filled with golden walls Golden halls And golden chairs Somewhere too beautiful To exist within a single billfold But the rooms do not bring light They bring darkness They are a prison With diamond bars and marble bricks With a ruby key Lost ages ago Never to be found again

Good Days I’ve lost count of the days Since I last saw your smile It’s always in my mind A weight holding me down My memory grasping it Almost as if I’ll never see it again And maybe it’s right to think so I wish I could see it once more If only so I could let it go Leaving me with an empty mind One without the reminder of good days I reckon it’d be less painful to find And as I offer you a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes Even if you can’t smile back Even if you can’t put my fears to rest I hope you’re thinking of me too

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A Third Eye A third eye, a land of solace and sumptuousness, Basking in the loving tender glow of its aurora Its expansion a meadow dotted with articulate schemes of mellifluousness The heavens form a plethora of hues beyond imagination as it forms a Grandiflora The mountains vast and vivid The air crisp and sweet The feathery feeling of the flowers almost seem lucid Feelings of the crass loneliness and deafening silence are not obsolete The oceans waves tumble and turn towards the white sand beaches “Free!” the voice echoes across the land, to the heaven, and the seven seas “Free!” sing the animals of all kinds “Free!” calls the wind as it rustles through the leaves.

“Free,” whispers the brown-eyed girl as she begins to hum within the confines of her mind.

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Running Running running far away, Wishing and praying for another day, A harsh wind unsets me from my feet, Death on the air and it smells sickly sweet.

I wish for the hum, Of birds and bees, Taking to wing, Flitting from tree to tree.

I want for the sweet smell of blooming life, A soft breeze rustling leaves, I want for the stream trickling at my side, A waterfall bringing fish for an unexpected ride.

Innocence recaptured, But lost on a fragile wind, To tear away a malicious sin, Now trapped in a permanent bind.

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Pieces A million pieces fall to the floor It’s like a start of a journey I have to complete It started off fun, but now it’s like a chore I have to finish this, I can’t be in defeat Frustrated, trying to find the piece that fits Every minute getting closer and closer to the end Time ticks by as I watch the clock sit This is something I would recommend It passes time and when you’re done you feel accomplished When it comes to the end you can feel free to demolish And watch the pieces break apart and start all over again

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Slow Dance A young girl sits in her bedroom, long jet black hair flowing down her shoulders to her arms. A worn-out ukulele rests in her hands as she fiddles with the tuning knobs, struggling to get the right tone until she gives up, vaguely satisfied with the pathetic noise it makes when she runs her fingers through the strings.

“Come on! What’s taking you so long?” her friend yells from the speakers of her phone, aggravating the girl.

“Can’t you wait? I’m trying to tune this thing.” She shoots a glare at the phone’s camera, positioning it in front of her so that her friend can see her whole upper body along with the instrument. “Alright, ready?”

Her friend nods and the young girl plays a tune on the ukulele, singing softly as she strums.

“Slow dance with you, I just wanna slow dance with you I know all the other boys are tough And smooth, and I got the blues I wanna slow dance with you.”

A pleased laugh rings through the otherwise solemn room, muffled claps pouring out of the phone’s audio system. Seemingly unphased, the girl continues, brushing her hair out of her face as she sings louder.

“I wanna slow dance with you I just wanna slow dance with you Why don't you take the chance?

I've got the moves, I'd like to prove I wanna slow dance with you.”

And just like that, with a scratchy ending, the song’s over. Her friend claps and cheers, arms thrown into the air and laughing wholeheartedly. She mutters an embarrassed, “Thanks” before putting away her instrument and turning her off camera. Her friend stays on, face dripping with joy.

“Thanks for that song, I loved it. Did you have anyone in mind while writing it?”

She grit her teeth, inhaling sharply before lying right through them.

“Eh… no. You wouldn’t know, anyway.”

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ICARUS the night sky had no stars in it, yet when the universe made her infinite presence known

powerfully

but with beauty and more importantly, with dignity

and maybe we live with the same naivete that drove icarus into the sea

but one can hope we also live with the grace that sent him soaring into the sky

and maybe it’s just too easy to see ghosts or maybe it really is

that the universe is very good at building metaphors 43

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I Imagine I imagine A letter for you Wrapped neatly in an envelope A letter I should have given Long, long ago.

I imagine Your elegant gaze, Meeting my own with such warmth I can’t muster looking away Not for one second.

I imagine This planet being One where we walk hand in hand Tremendous glee filling us Living as one.

I imagine The things that could be Harshly ripped from our fingers Torn to shreds and demolished Yet, I accept.

I understand.

Though time had fooled us I know a world with my joy Will forever make up for A world without you.

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What If? What if there is a footprint I left behind in another life, Maybe it’s a legacy of horror and strife, Maybe a story of deeds untold, Or a tale of brave and bold?

What is my footprint?

My lasting mark?

What will set me apart?

How will my life start?

A shot from the cannon we call chance?

Or just learn to advance, My way through the ever changing maze?

I’m falling through a daze, My brain is in circles, Scrabbling at the walls of my head to get out.

Will I ever get out?

I have doubts.

Bottled Up

Been bottling up your emotions for some time For you genuine smiles don’t exist Sleeping during the daytime And staying up through the night Everything seems like a chore And you feel like no one notices that you're spiraling But one friend sees through your facade They confront you And that bottle that’s been filling up Explodes Words are flowing out Like endless rain into a paper cup And you finally feel free

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The Good Side I laid in the good side of things Arms spread out across a watercolor meadow Painted with the colors of the rainbow But the scenery was nothing without the brightness Of your smile Overshadowing even that of the sun Reflecting on the smooth surface of the clouds The sunset sky dusted pink Matching the shade of the apple of my cheeks But then the clouds parted Letting rain pour from their scattered form The sky soon turned grey And the sun disappeared into the maze Along with your grin You found rest in the bad side of things And when you crossed worlds I lost mine

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Tattoo

These tears on my face are from you They have become tattoos of my sadness These scars on my skin are from loving you They tell a story of the pain you put me through I thought loving someone would make me happy I thought someone loving me back would fix who I am But I realized the only happiness that would bring would be temporary This realization came too late I put everything I had into you Just to have you leave me hurt and broken Now I'm stuck in place putting myself together I don't know who I'm gonna be

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Listen So, you want to see those beautiful colors?

Want to go outside? See a world of green?

To the ocean? See endless blue?

To the sunset? See oranges and reds and pinks all melting together?

Haha, you silly.

You don’t need those!

You only need your dreams.

Listen to Me Listen to Yourself Listen Listen Listen to Your Dreams

Firstly, Listen, Close your eyes.

Keep them closed.

With eyes, you can’t Listen.

Listen Listen Listen You are asleep now.

Your eyes are closed.

But those are just the first steps.

Let yourself slip away.

Slip, slip, slip.

Slip into what I tell you to do.

Your eyes… They’re such tricky things Forget about the weight of your eyelids Forget about the light that tempts you outside Forget about your eyes themselves.

You don’t have them.

You never did.

But I will let you see The Colors of Your Dreams If you Listen

Now, are you Listening?

Really, really Listening?

Then Listen to this more.

Because you are not reading this poem.

Now, if you’ve Listened this far, You can Hear them.

The Sound of Red The Sound of Blue The Sound of Yellow The Sound of them mixing The Sound of what they all make The Colors of Your Dreams They’re beautiful, aren’t they?

Oh yes they are.

You stop dreaming.

You open your eyes.

There’s nothing there.

You scream out for your sight.

And you can’t Listen.

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Dogma Sweet streams through a wooded glade, Wondering at the might of the one who made, This fantastical earthly realm.

Man sought to answer the question above all, From which heavenly tree did we fall?

An apple hanging before fingers of dread, Fire and brimstone ruled the land of the dead.

Passages interpreted by a flawed mind, Telling the story of the world in rewind.

Ages passed as these thoughts became the norm, Yet paragons of science began to form, Complex ideas and defeated concepts, The world began to break free, From the shackles of dogma, Like blooming flora, Thoughts showing the light, Bringing end to many a plight, Cages of knowledge, Split asunder, So many versions, And yet I’m still left to wonder.

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This Time The humans were always afraid For the end of their time They wanted the money they made But I knew it was a waste of time In the end, there is no money Only peace and light in sight This human civil war is unfunny nobody’s side is right They always said we’d be safe The world told us, “Do not be afraid” But seeing the entire world in such a state And all the people slayed No countries are at war We all had wrongly fought Humanity hated humanity more And greed was all they sought.

A bright light had flashed And a brighter one came forth A final noise had crashed And I saw humanity’s true worth.

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Running Running Far Away Running running far away, Wishing and praying for another day, A harsh wind unsets me from my feet, Death on the air smells sickly sweet.

I wish for the hum, Of birds and bees, Taking to wing, Flitting from tree to tree.

I want for the sweet smell of blooming life, A soft breeze rustling leaves, I want for the stream trickling at my side, A waterfall bringing fish for an unexpected ride.

Innocence recaptured, But lost on a fragile wind, To tear away a malicious sin, Now trapped in a permanent bind.

IDK I don’t know What to write for this But I’ll try To do well Even if I am tired I’ll finish this poem I just did Finish it I mean Yeah I did Good job me So why am I still writing?

Maybe I’ll stop now I’m still here Why am I still here?

Still writing Still thinking Trying to be more than just A little quitter 54

Wasteland This land is barren Counties once filled with souls from another life Now abandoned Vivid memories frozen over from the icy temperature A breeze whisks away the laughter whispered in its wake Stolen by the icy fingertips of the wind I almost believed it was meant to be As if a terminal end was waiting on the other side And once you crossed over Is that what you would find?

Light The story goes, “The light that never went out” Not even when you want to fall down and shout The light stays on a very thin rope But where does it go when you have little hope?

The light stays with you to follow Even when you have little faith Where can I find the light?

To put my thoughts to rest at night I always hear brave stories of fallen soldiers But the light dims each time I get older The story goes, “The light that never went out” But as the years go by, I start to have my doubts

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Live Alive I want to live like I’m alive.

Not constantly digging for crumbs Crumbs of microscopic matter, That I hold onto as my happiness.

I want to live like I’m alive.

Living life to the fullest is being alive Not dreading awakening in the morning, To go the same school, To prepare myself for the same job To earn money which will buy Rusty, broken pipes, And a roach-infested bed.

I want to live like I’m alive.

Waking up ready for my next Exciting and thrilling adventure, To smile on Earth without fear.

I want to live like I’m alive In a perfect world, Where happiness grows on trees.

Because...

I don’t want to survive I want to live.

Rock, Paper, Scissors Icy words drip from my blue lips Frozen over the script that was forced into my mouth Kept steady from your grip ghosting over my throat The paper I never played Where a rock was hurled my way through your unwavering fingers When I only had scissors to defend myself Though I never believed I would become a slave to your words I was bound to your open hands Closed fists kept me encompassed A pelican in a cage Looking through the windows of its prison As the sky ruthlessly leered at me I smile bitterly Maybe one day I could fly with you

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Your Light The darkness that lingered every day, No matter how hard I try it never went away, But one day was different, one day I see, There was a light in the distance shining on me.

With each passing hour I swear it gets brighter, With each passing minute my feet get lighter, I cannot explain, I wish I could find the words, But when I open my mouth my sentences are slurred.

Yet I know it was your doing ‘cause once I met you, That light began to shine and my perspective was new, From your smile to your laugh you shine like crazy, I can never seem to get you out of my head lately I just hope my pessimistic remarks, Won’t scare you away and bring back the dark, Yet despite all these thoughts and despite my doubt, I know you are my light that never goes out.

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Somebody Else

Your grace was Just And your beauty could never Leave Perhaps you’re a reflection but never of Me I admired you deeply and that is what you were here for Nothing more, nothing else unless you want somebody Perhaps I am over thinking or was it something else

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She’s a Star I often find myself Staring at the girl by the sea I only see her at night When I’m taking my walks She always sits in the same sand, Wearing the same clothes, Looking at the same sky, She isn't alone, however The girl by the sea had a telescope One day, I talked with her I questioned why she was there “Isn’t it obvious?

I came here to look at the stars.

There’s no reason to validate stargazing.”

What was so special about the stars?

The sky is always the same.

“Did you know, The stars are the lost souls of Earth?”

After that day I never saw her again I looked for her during my night strolls But she never showed What was so special about the stars?

The question I asked myself was finally answered, When I looked at the sky, I saw that it changed With a bright, new star, twinkling in the black sea

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Misfit misfit is a funny word.

At this point in life I'm going where destiny takes me.

Even if it means I go by myself.

When you go through a breakup and a big piece of you is missing you have no choice but to go out and find yourself.

You simply cannot find yourself in someone else's arms, it's once you leave them that you are able to find your true identity, your likes and dislikes, you.

You find yourself in a puddle after fresh rainfall, in the time you spend with friends, in a can of spray paint.

You find yourself in the depths of night laughing with people you love as you're cruising down the highway, you find yourself when you are farthest from home but oddly enough You feel comfortable.

We all know that feeling.

When you realize that you are becoming your own separate human.

You are a work in progress, so go.

Do something you never thought you could do, dance in the rain, go out as much as possible, make art, enjoy the void that is 8:00 pm to 5:00 am, drive leave your cozy place.

It's hard.

To go down your own path.

To step outside yourself in order to grow.

To realize you are the frontier of your own life.

To find yourself without a hand to hold onto But when you do it, and you will.

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Another Day To keep dreams temperate is an art, And one to manage from the start.

Push them down, keep them quiet, Tie them up; they’ll survive it.

Most nights in bed are spent alone, Sort out those thoughts; don’t let them drone.

Fast asleep, all is silent, While rich ambitions buzz with vibrance.

A vivid vision melts away, Suppressed ideas beg you to stay.

Ignore it; keep them at bay, Another dream, for another day.

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Think Wide Open For so long I have been scratching and clawing Had to keep erasing the one part of my drawing I don’t know if I thought everything was there or it was just a one time thing They would tell you that you’re gonna be big one day, get your hopes up, too It’s good to get your hopes up, but when you get your hopes up you take the risk The risk of being accepted and knowing that it’s established The risk of finding it’s not what you expected it to be Then the mindset that tells you whether you should keep going forward or stay back But no, that can’t be my option because what I’m doing is reflecting the bright Why stop now?

No, but then that creates another question and it involves more thinking But sometimes we need to think because when at the end of it we figure out our answer Doors open when we give ourselves a chance The chance of freedom The chance of happiness The chance of getting to love The chance to fly No rules to go beyond my creative capacity Sometimes we never think we can go that far, but we can When we do, we end up seeing a beautiful canvas The pain, the memories, the heartache, the frustration, the confusion, the victories, the laughs, the cries, the smiles All of it is just a beautiful canvas that I’m looking at It’s my life And when I’m at the finish line and I cross My mark will be there for everyone to see in that art gallery Yes,that’s it That’s when I’ve thought wide open

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How to grow (emotionally): (using a plant analogy) 1. Understand that you have a soul made of the richest soil, filled with the best nutrients. It should be watered with the finest water, as it has the ability to grow into something amazing only if you plant the seed. Our egos have the strange ability to make us believe that we don’t need what we deserve, that our souls are just the way they are and there’s no changing it. We are worth more than we think, and we have the ability to grow anything.

2. Water is good for the body and mind. Teach yourself to water your soul with love, hope, and happiness. No one can water your soul but you. You can’t rely on others to give you what you need because they won’t always be around to water the pot. And a day becomes a few days and a few days becomes weeks, months, a year. And you’re left with the burden of the dead dried leaves.

3. Let go and let the sun do its job. Sometimes, the best work happens when we let go. It’s important to work on our growth, but it’s also important to give ourselves time to rest.

Whether you know it or not, stepping back and letting the universe take over does a lot for you.

And finally 4. Be patient. The anticipation is what makes the period of growth and exploration so long. If you don’t enjoy the moment you're in, good or bad, you’ll miss out on many lessons and stories. The good will teach you to appreciate life and, to have good, you need bad. The pain will mold you into something stronger. But you can’t rush to the end and expect to be a newer and better you.

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Inspired by “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals The blistering and boiling sky above me shines a vibrant yet iridescent purple. I am aware of the darkness beginning to surround me as I stroll absentmindedly down the pale white beach, sand kicking up around my feet. I am entirely consumed by the sky, trapped in my own headspace, as I stand alone on the sandy expanse.

Sweat drips down my face and arms and all I can do is gasp for fresh air as the world around me shifts. The already humid and thick air turns static with energy, glitches appearing at random in the sky that was previously filled with a larger-than-life red sun. My eyes glaze over and move in and out of focus, desperately trying to distinguish reality from fiction.

The ocean parts way for a large, seaweed-covered highway. In a daze I step forward, the water lapping lightly around my already sopping wet shoes, and I begin my journey down the seemingly endless road.

The water below the weightless layer of pavement grows deeper and deeper until all that can be seen was the soft glow of jellyfish and the reflection of the sun on the nearly black water.

The asphalt seemed to be paved with memories of her.

Inspired by”The Hill We Climb” by Amanda Gorman Original Line: “We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace”

All of the obstacles that we’ve overcome and all the lessons we have learned.

We have gained valuable knowledge that we can no longer just witness and keep quiet.

Being bystanders from the sidelines isn’t the answer anymore we need to move towards a better always.

Speaking up for one another and maintaining peace.

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Lighter The earth felt lighter as she said those words. I thought that I was dreaming when she said she loved me. The ground stopped spinning for once.

The sky appeared brighter than ever. All the clouds disappeared. The cold air went away and the sun came out to warm my skin. She looked up waiting for a response. I choked up on my words. I couldn’t have predicted my life after that. That was the first chapter before I messed everything up. The earth never felt lighter again. The sky has been darker ever since I messed up. The sun hasn’t come out too much. Nothing will ever be the same. It's alright if everyone hates me now. We were just kids back then. We had no time to prepare. I wish I could go back to that day. We ain’t kids no more.

We’ll never be that again.

The Good Side I laid in the good side of things Arms spread out across a watercolor meadow Painted with the colors of the rainbow But the scenery was nothing without the brightness Of your smile Overshadowing even that of the sun Reflecting on to the smooth surface of the clouds The sunset sky dusted pink Matching the shade of the apple of my cheeks But then the clouds parted Letting rain pour from their scattered form The sky soon turned grey And the sun disappeared into the maze Along with your grin You found rest in the bad side of things And when you crossed worlds I lost mine

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Run As we first entered this new stage in our lives, the dreaded pandemic, most teens were at the deep depths of their high school depression. It was quite inevitable for that to happen anyways. Besides, there's nothing worse than no social interaction, especially if you’re someone like me and you love company. However, I had a different perspective during this lockdown. Although my schedule wasn’t perfect, I decided to switch up my mindset and try new things.

One thing that the coronavirus took away from me was my sophomore track season. I worked so hard leading up to tryouts just to see them canceled. It was devastating, but I still wanted to stay in shape. I dreaded running on my own, but I found a way to stay motivated. When I was younger, I used to go to a park about two miles away from my house. There was something about this park that gave me interesting vibes. The memories I had of going there felt like a fever dream. It is right off the main road, but the neighborhood is one of the nicest in Stratford. The park itself has an old cemetery, abandoned historical buildings, a small chapel, a farm, a pond, and a playground. There are also several picnic areas, where my family and I share fond memories of family reunions. Another thing to add, one of the buildings has a clock tower, which chimes every hour. The ringing noise sits engraved in my mind, and I have recurring dreams with that clocktower in it.

It’s pretty clear that I have strong emotions for this park, and the strange thing is that I hadn’t gone since I was younger, so that's something I changed during quarantine. After I finished my schoolwork, almost every day, I would tie up my Asics, play my music, and go for a run to this park. The thing is, getting to this park is a headache. My two options are to either run up a super steep hill or risk taking the dangerous windy road. I eventually created my route by going up the big hill to get to the park, and coming back on the scary windy road. My parents were obviously not fond of this idea, but I still went anyway.

The entire run is four miles exactly, and that was my workout for the day, along with a two-mile walk with my dog as a cool down, and a 10-minute follow-along ab workout I found on YouTube. It really was the highlight of my boring days as the rest of my time was either spent in bed doing schoolwork or watching Netflix and playing on my phone. My parents worked a lot, so I wasn’t restricted too much. There was something about this run that gave me so much serotonin. No rules; no limits; it was just all good vibes. As stupid as it sounds, I developed an emotional connection to the park. Not to mention, a boy I liked lived very close to it. I always 69

hoped that we would “run” into each other there, but I think I only caught a glimpse of him probably once or twice. Nevertheless, it gave me an extra boost of motivation.

It goes to show that there is so much beauty to running. Now, I’m no speed machine, but I’ve definitely invested most of my time and effort into the art. It gives me time to think, pushes me to my limits, keeps me in shape, and it brings me to amazing places. It’s not all about the running, though. It’s about getting your head out of your phone and exploring the world around you. If I let quarantine take the best of me, I would’ve never developed a passion for my new discovery. My mindset completely changed with what I created for myself.

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Taking My Time Do not leave me, I Can not live without you, you know.

I am so sad, I’m Crying, going away I am gonna Take some time, be By myself, no distractions brought with.

I still love you.

I cannot look at you so, I thought we were meant to be, you and I, With me, the memories I take.

Oh my, Slipping away from us, time.

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Love Though I can’t speak English very well I can only say this in very few languages I know I Love You is English Aishiteru is Japanese Te amo is Spanish Saranghae is Korean And Ngiyakuthanda in Xhosa.

I will shout it from the rooftops out into the world, And out into the stars.

I’ll type it in text just to brighten Your day every single day In every single way I LUV U XOXO OXOX I’ll learn sign language and perform It until I get it right I’ll call you on the phone everyday Just to let you know I’ll send heart emojis Especially the yellow one with heart eyes I’ll come by your house to give you Red roses, tickets to a show, Chocolate, teddy bears, That new perfume you always wanted.

You say the word and I'm there.

I love you I love you I Love You I’m Here

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Blank Both hands on the wheel The places you imagine in your darkest Negatives seemed to outweigh the positives Sometimes it’s hard to think of that place you can escape to You would think it has rivers and waterfalls Birds chirping and flowers blooming At the highest of heights Only laughter and smiles No room for the pain of tears That fall on your pillow at night Where's your place Where’s your place A blank box A blank room A blank state As a black girl sits As she Carries the weights for Her burdens in a dress Kneeling in a blank state Hands filled with wishes and broken dreams Even though she might stand Dead inside with feelings of confusion and no purpose A girl whose laughs and smiles shone for days

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How to get over a break up.

1. Cry. Let it all out. Let the sadness wash over you and let it out.

2. M & M. Realize all they were was mistakes and memories. No more memories to make and the mistake was already made. You’re past the worst of it now 3. Pick up a new hobby; change your hair; get a tattoo; reinvent yourself so you can start growing on your own again. Rediscover everything you love to do, and explore parts of your personality you haven't acknowledged before.

4. Fall in love with yourself. The one thing I've learned is that you need to love yourself before you can let anyone in, and, if you don't take time to do that before diving into a relationship, it's not going to end well for either of you.

5. Time. The only thing that will truly heal the heartbreak is time. If you continue to push and grow, you'll find over time that you're happier alone than with your previous partner.

And that's how you get over a breakup

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A Brush Absent of Touch Why can’t we go back to a simpler time The time walls were painted with a sublime design Back when all art sent a chill down our spine Carefully crafted with hands undoubtedly divine Colors that outnumber the words I can rhyme Mixed in with history, too old for its prime Along with years needed for one glass of wine Forgotten by many and blinded by grime Oil paints that smear this poem’s meaning of mine

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Pain I roll out of bed bags under my eyes from another restless night of tossing and turning.

I sway, my knees weak tired of carrying around this useless body of mine.

I throw on the sweats I wore yesterday and the day before that.

No strength to look presentable, the days drag on becoming a blur.

The pain engulfs my mind, the disaster my parents left behind Tired of trying to prove my point, I’m starting to forget.

Just so tired, My eyes heavy, I can’t hold them open anymore.

“A girl unworthy of love,” Unwilling to fight.

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Testing It had been a very spontaneous decision to drive all the way to the beach in the middle of the night, but Daisy didn’t regret it.

She had endured a difficult week, mindlessly studying history books into the wee hours of the morning. Throughout the week, Daisy hadn’t had any time to spend on herself. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had felt the sun on her skin. The poor girl had been cooped up in her room studying for an exam that she felt would determine her self worth.

But now that it was over, and the test was taken, there was nothing left to do.

Anxious thoughts swarming her mind, Daisy had grabbed her keys and drove to the beach.

The teenager planted herself on the long stone wall that separated the never-ending ocean from the safe, concrete walkway. She gazed at the shimmering water as calm, navy blue waves crashed into the sand in a slow, melodic rhythm. Daisy breathed in the misty midnight air, releasing the anxiety that had grappled her mind as she exhaled.

What’s done is done, she told herself. The test was taken. Now all she could do was wait.

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Her The girl’s words seeped right in Brewing loudly in my head.

They were dancing, playing wildly A waltz crafted for best friends.

To my dismay, I had to meet her In a class of forty kids.

“Partner up for your assignment,” “Wanna be mine?” (Yes, she did.)

Perhaps in shocked silence There we stood without a sound Slowly working on our project A new seed planted underground.

Then the seed blossomed forth From a sapling to a tree The months blurred into years And the days turned into weeks.

You’d have never seen serenity Not until you saw her face Laughing? Crying? Didn’t matter, As it was hers all the same.

From the roots to the branches Lay our story, beaming bright And because I took my chances, Our bond lasts another night.

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Staff Editor in Chief Reece Seperack Contributing Editors Meghan Fenton Tiana Gregg Ethan Kudysch Front Cover Design Savannah DiNuzzo Advisor Kimberly Kulenych

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Special Thanks to… ● Bunnell High School’s English and Art Departments for all their help, time, and support ● All of the students, staff, and alumni who submitted to the magazine ● Mrs. Kulenych’s Creative Writing 1, 2, 3, 4 classes for their boundless advice and enthusiasm ● Mrs. Kulenych for her dedication and guidance throughout the Unlearn process ● Mrs. Ravo-Lynch for her constant encouragement, advice, and humor ● Ms. Miller whose contributions elevated the aesthetic value of the magazine ● Pam Andler, Isabelle Brown, Daniel Graziano, Joseph Koripsky, Kathleen Kulenych and Kara Murray for their photographic contributions ● Dr. Robinson and all the members of the Stratford Board of Education for their support of our program ● Our Administrative Staff: Dr. Dowling, Dr. Graf, Mr. Koch, and Mr. Tatto, for their support of Unlearn and our Creative Writing programs ● Dr. Dowling for her editing expertise ● Gwen Haley, a retired Creative Writing teacher, who, along with her students, created the Unlearn program ● The Stratford Youth and Family Advisory Board for awarding us with a generous grant

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