Contributors to this collaborative zine project were invited to consider how they perceive and express their gender identity as autistic people, especially within the context of the mainstream media's representation or erasure of gender diverse people with autism.
“My identity [gender fucked] is near anything that would strike fear in Mike Pence or Mitch McConnell.”
“Everyone, including autistic queer folks, has different 'autism soup' flavors.”
In partnership with the Emily Taylor Center for Women & Gender Equity at The University of Kansas, Danielle Helt conceived and compiled AUTISM AND GENDER DIVERSITY as part of her WGSS 601 Senior Capstone in Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies project.
With this collaborative zine, Danielle sought to offer a platform for gender diverse people with autism to express their identities through a creative medium. Through this zine, participants were given an opportunity to make their own media that challenges mainstream stereotypes and lack of representation.
Additionally, Danielle's WGSS 601 project includes a research paper that seeks to better understand the gender identity and expression of gender diverse autistic individuals as represented within AUTISM AND GENDER DIVERSITY. Danielle will analyze and contextualize her primary data — the contributors’ zine pages and complementary interviews — using peer-reviewed scholarship. This will enable Danielle to explore and document how the zine's contributors perceive themselves, their autism, their gender identity/expression, and the representation or lack thereof of members of their community in the mainstream media.
THE EMILY TAYLOR CENTER FOR WOMEN & GENDER EQUITY SEEKS TO ENGAGE AND EMPOWER STUDENTS TO ACT IN WAYS THAT PROMOTE INTERSECTIONAL FEMINIST CHANGE AND CHALLENGE PATRIARCHAL NORMS.
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“I used to think that [autism and gender expression/identity were not] so tied together, but the more I reflect the more I realized that I’ve always been pushed. Because I’ve always been autistic, things like my personal sense of style have always been [moved by] my interests. Like [my love of] Sonic the Hedgehog [influencing my style, which] was very much only primary colors. And, at one point, I got really into black metal and suddenly I was goth. And like, being queer [with a butch gender expression] which is all about practicality [and] kind of sometimes about the community, and both of those things are motivated by autism."
“A lot of non-binary rep is aliens, but why is it so relatable?”
“I can’t imagine a world where I would have realized I was trans if I wasn’t neurodivergent. For me, I was a girl when I was a kid. A lot of trans men specifically are, like, 'even before I came out, when I was a kid, I was a little boy.' I definitely had a very girly childhood, and I was cool with that, but...gender wasn’t something that I thought about ever. And it didn’t matter because I was just doing what made me happy. And then, as I got older, more and more expectations were thrown at me, and I was like ‘this is stupid and I’m not comfortable with these expectations people are giving me,’ and it was really confusing in a lot of ways.”
“My gender expression (at present anyway) is masculine, but I would like to mix in some feminine elements at some point (i.e. clothing, jewelry, painted nails). I don't think it's safe for me to do so yet, though. Just look at the current political climate around queer (and especially trans) people to see why—it is quite literally genocidal.”
So, first of all, I've never been formally diagnosed with autism, but among other things—I think I'm almost certainly on the spectrum. For now, I'd prefer to leave the details for the psychiatrists to sort out (if I ever get around to it), but suffice it to say that my mind works differently from other people, especially when it comes to how I express myself and navigate the world. As a child, I knew that I was different somehow, but it wasn't until middle school that I started developing the language and self-awareness to figure out—or at least begin to suspect—I am on the autism spectrum, and this suspicion has only grown stronger as I've gotten older. At this point in time, however, whether this is an accurate self-assessment or just a case of confirmation bias is anyone ' s guess.
I also consider myself agender, an identity under the non-binary umbrella. Basically, this means my gender identity is defined precisely by the lack of the very thing being described. If you think that's confusing, try living with it. What is relatively straightforward for me, though, is that I find gender-neutral or gender-ambiguous language usually suits me better than masculine language, and the few times I've experimented with more androgynous clothing brought on a certain euphoria. Unlike with my neurodivergence and sexuality, I didn't "always know" I was agender. The realization actually came as quite a surprise, because at the time I was simply trying to understand non-binary people better. I never would've imagined that what I was reading would resonate with me.
For me, what ties these experiences together is mostly negative: fear of discrimination or rejection and "masking" as a result, feelings of isolation and depression, and adverse experiences, especially in childhood. In spite of these though, I've also found these aspects of my overall identity to be a source of inner strength and confidence as I've sought community with like-minded people with similar experiences.
"If I had to describe my gender in one phrase it would be 'a fuck you to the system.'"
"Customizing ones physical existence is something that I think speaks to the trans experience and to the autistic experience in that it’s a way of showing some of the things you may be interested in..."
