Spokane CDA Woman Magazine Issue 15

May_June 2014 | Issue 15

spokanecdawoman.com

Tamra Brannon

Ginger Lyons

Guns Be Gone: The Signing of HB 1840

H pe for Troubled Teens

Buffalo

Girls

Po int of Origin D r. C o l ee n S mi t h , DA O M Point of Origin Acupuncture and Herbal Clinic is dedicated to providing quality, natural healthcare. We focus on women’s health, hormone regulation, pain, anxiety issues, and fertility challenges. Through the use of acupuncture and herbs almost any condition and syndrome can be treated. At Point of Origin we offer specialized individual care. Acupuncture is an ancient method of treatment based on thousands of years' experience. It helps relieve signs and symptoms of many health problems. Oriental Medicine is about maintaining harmony and balance. Achieving the best you can be or restoring your strength is our ultimate goal.

Coleen Smith, DAOM, is a board-certified member of the ABORM, (American Board of Reproductive Medicine). She received her Doctorate in 2012 at American College of Traditional Chinese Medicine in San Francisco, specializing in pain in women’s health. Coleen is empathetic, dynamic and knowledgeable. As an Eastern Asian Medical Practitioner for 11 years, Coleen works with her patients to provide quality natural reproductive enhancement and care. She has a comforting manner and a reassuring way of assisting women, couples, and men with a variety of health concerns.

Spe ci alizi n g i n : • Acupuncture • Fertility • Women's Health

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• Cancer Care • Herbs • Moxibustion

• AcuLaser

509.928.2777 | SpokaneAcupuncture.com

woman | spokanecdawoman.com

May_June 2014

contents

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Inside

features

Her Story: A group of hateful protesters, across the street from Rashida Gaye’s mosque, shatters her rose colored glasses and leaves her questioning her life in Spokane, while inspiring her to change some of the misconceptions of her religion.

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Role Model: Heather Scholten’s 2003 move from Seattle to a Victorian farmhouse near Spokane with husband Gary, and their two children, brought more than a new landscape. It brought a new way of life. Heather soon launched her successful food blog, Farmgirl Gourmet. Today, in addition to the blog, she works with companies like Cabot Cheese, Tillamook, Sabra, Bob’s Red Mill, California Olive Ranch, Harry and David and others as a recipe developer and brand ambassador.

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Girl Power: There is a trend in our area that is made up of women artisans who repaint, recover, repurpose, redo, revamp, restore and renovate old into new and create art from anything and everything you can think of including and especially . . . junk. Meet three entrepreneurial women business owners—soul sistas—who dance to the beat of their own vintage drums, set their own pace and work their proverbial backsides off.

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Family: Prenatal Fitness; Family Health; Suspecting Child Abuse; New Lice Device; Urgent Call App; Turning Your Life Around; New Book on Acceptance

on the

cover

ON THE COVER:

Tamra Brannon and Ginger Lyons Diane Maehl | Diane Maehl Photography

On the Cover: Photography:

Tamra Brannon and Ginger Lyons, both 37, are as they say, a pair to draw to. It is almost a certainty that both women have danced by the light of the moon. They own Buffalo Girls Vintage and run it from their respective homes in Five Mile in northwest Spokane.

Find Spokane CDA Woman magazine on facebook at www.facebook.com/SpokaneCDAWoman

May_June 2014

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Friendly Dentistry on Spokane's South Hill

Vol. 3 Issue 3

May_ June 2014

Editorial

Editor | Stephanie Regalado editor@spokanecdawoman.com

Art Direction | Graphics Art Director/Lead Graphic Designer Kristi Somday | kristi@spokanecda.com Traffic Manager/Graphic Designer Camille Mackie | camille@spokanecda.com

Photographers

3144 E. 29th Ave Spokane WA 99223 509-536-8888

To ot h C o lo r e d F i l l i n g s C ro w n a n d B r i d g e T r e at m e n t

Diane Maehl Photography, Kristina Mattson, Robin Merlino, Cheryl-Anne Millsap, Sara Story Photography, Emily Wenzel Photography

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Sales | Marketing

Senior Account Managers Cindy Guthrie | cindy@spokanecda.com Jeff Richardson | jrichardson@spokanecda.com Account Managers Diane Caldwell | diane@bozzimedia.com Debra J Smith | debra@bozzimedia.com

Operations

Operations and Finance Manager Kim Morin | kim@spokanecda.com Circulation Manager and Accounts Receivable Theresa Berglund | theresa@spokanecda.com

Publisher & CEO | Vincent Bozzi vince@spokanecda.com

It is with great sadness to announce that Taste & See Tea will be closing its doors on Wednesday, April 30, 2014. It has been a pleasure serving the Spokane community. We have enjoyed helping so many women transition back into the work place, which was our sole purpose. We will continue to have our wonderful loose leaf teas and other items still available for purchase on our website. Please check our site often as we will be doing some farmers markets. We would love to see you there.

Thank you again for your support throughout the years.

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woman | spokanecdawoman.com

Co-Publisher | Emily Guevarra Bozzi emily@spokanecda.com

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Spokane CDA Woman is published bi-monthly by Bozzi Media.

104 S Freya | Ste 209 | Spokane WA 99202-4866 Phone: 509.533.5350 | Fax: 509.535.3542 All contents © 2014. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. Neither Bozzi Media nor Spokane CDA Woman assume responsibility for errors in content, photos or advertisements.

Editor's letter Becoming Whole . . . Again

photo by Diane Maehl

I

grabbed the vase of flowers from between the front seats, but paused before I opened the car door.

Phone in one hand, I texted, “When you receive flowers from someone that never should have sent them in the first place, do you: A) Shatter them against his front door or B) Set them nicely on his front porch?” I hit send to two of my trusted girlfriends, rested my head back on the seat, and exhaled. I fantasized about the emotional release from seeing those beautiful lilies crumpled and torn among shards of glass in a pool of watery mess. I thought of song lyrics from wronged women—slashing tires, bashing windows, lighting piles of clothes and belongings on fire . . . I fantasized about having my own moment, my own set of lyrics.

I flipped the attached card over and wrote, “No Thank You” on it. As I climbed back into the car after calmly placing the vase of flowers on his front porch, my friend Jennifer’s name popped up on my phone. “Is this an intervention?” I quipped as I answered her call.

“What’s going on, where are you?” she asked. I began to calmly explain the situation, but the tears quickly crept up and burst out.

It had been nearly a year since the great demise of that relationship. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I cried. “Why can’t I move beyond this? I wanted this! Now I don’t want to live in the same city!”

“Oh, Sweetie,” said Jennifer. “I don’t think you’ve allowed yourself to grieve.” I cried myself to sleep that night and through the next day. I cried myself to sleep several nights in a row and through a few days, too. It proved to be a brilliant move forward, the way I emptied myself out of every last little drop of heartache.

A few girlfriends encouraged me to move on by “opening myself up to the universe.” So, naturally, I created a match.com profile. I swiftly began entertaining conversations with men hopeful for love (again).

One gentleman and I enjoyed chatting, so I agreed to meet him for coffee—my first date since the great demise a year prior, the first date since “opening myself up to the universe.”

Although the date was pleasant, I wasn’t interested in meeting again. He sent me a text within minutes of saying goodbye, “I can’t wait to get together again,” he said. My friend Jennifer’s “checking in” text popped in at the same time. I imagined she was dying to hear how things had played out, so I replied to her, sharing my disinterest.

“I don’t understand,” he replied. I triple checked the text threads before it sunk in. I had inadvertently sent him the text. I sent Jennifer an “egads” text describing my error to which she swiftly replied, “Maybe it’s the universe’s way of moving things along, no dillydallying!”

I wrote back thanking her for the perspective, “I love it, no dillydallying!”

“What do you mean by ‘no dillydallying?’” he replied. The little woman in my head began kicking things around as I texted a second apology.

The feelings of discomfort during the date combined with my texting blunders were sign enough I wasn’t ready to “open myself up to the universe.” So, I pulled myself out of the dating game, and poured my heart into my incredible kids, my amazing girlfriends, and a job that puts me in the heart of all the goodness within our community.

Instead of “opening myself up to the universe,” I needed to find wholeness within myself, in spite of the harsh reality that little bits and pieces of me have been taken—and given—away. Spaces that, no matter the effort of filling and stuffing and jamming, would never be sufficiently filled up from external sources.

Over time, gratitude for this beautiful life and the lessons along the way, a sense of peace and contentment slip into the hurt, take the sting right out of it, make me feel whole again.

This is our magazine, WE are Spokane CDA Woman. Together, we can help each other become the best that we can be. Find me on Facebook in order to stay connected, and to share more stories—short and long—of the adventures in womanhood.

Stephanie Regalado editor@spokanecdawoman.com

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Listen to Your Mother : Long Island Medium : Farm Chicks : Outdoor Movies : The Happy Place

Up Front

Stacey Conner and Elise Raimi, co-producers.

Photos by Kristina Mattson of Cherish Sweets

L Mother:

Listen To Your local stories about motherhood

Mother’s Day, May 11, at 7 p.m. at the Bing Crosby Theater

isten To Your Mother (LTYM) is coming back to Spokane in honor of Mother’s Day. The event features live readings by local writers on the beauty, the beast, and the barely rested of motherhood, in celebration of Mother’s Day. Born of the creative work of mothers (and fathers!) who publish online, each production is directed, produced, and performed by local communities, for local communities, with 10 percent of ticket proceeds benefitting a local nonprofit cause. This year, Spokane’s show will benefit the Women Helping Women Foundation.

May_June 2014

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Up Front Long Island Medium

June 12

Sara Smith, reading in last year’s production.

LTYM is produced locally by South Hill moms and bloggers Stacey Conner and Elise Raimi. Before settling down in Spokane, Stacey worked as an attorney and lived all over the world; her first (of four) children was born on Saipan, an island in Micronesia.

Elise, a Harvard graduate, also lived and worked globally with a focus on refugee issues and HIV prevention.

Auditions for this year’s show were held in February and out of an amazing pool of more than thirty, ten local women were cast to read in this year’s production on Mother’s Day, May 11, at 7 p.m. at the Bing Crosby Theater. The show is followed by a no-host reception, which encourages cast and audience to mingle, share experiences, and celebrate. The audience for LTYM Spokane has grown from 100 members in 2011 to more than 300 in 2013, with an even larger turnout expected this year. One of the most magical parts of the LTYM experience is seeing intergenerational family groups coming to the show together and making the evening their own Mother’s Day tradition.

All announcements regarding the show details can be found on the Spokane Listen To Your Mother page, www.listentoyourmothershow. com/spokane. You can also send an email to listentoyourmotherspokane@gmail.com.

For full information on the national show, visit www.listentoyourmothershow.com.

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woman | spokanecdawoman.com

Theresa Caputo, psychic medium and star of the hit TLC show, Long Island Medium, will be appearing live at the INB Performing Arts Center on Thursday, June 12. Theresa will give interactive readings to audience members throughout the show and will also share personal stories about her life and her unique gifts.

A fourth season of Long Island Medium launched October 6 on TLC. The highly rated show follows Theresa’s life as a typical Long Island wife and mom with one very big difference . . . she can communicate with the dead. Since she cannot “turn off” this gift, messages from departed loved ones can come through at any time. The local car mechanic, manicurist or cashier

at the bagel shop may find themselves receiving a spontaneous reading from Theresa as she goes about her day.

The unique challenges that her special abilities create for her husband of 22 years, Larry, and her two children, aged 17 and 21, and how they cope are also a main theme on the show.

Theresa’s first book titled There’s More to Life Than This was released on October 8 and debuted at #2 on the NY Times Best Seller List. Tickets go on sale Friday, April 11 at 10 a.m. and can be purchased at www.TicketsWest.com, (800) 325-SEAT, or any TicketsWest outlet. Tickets start at $39.75 (plus applicable service charges) and are subject to change. Purchasing a ticket does not guarantee a reading.

Learn more about Theresa at www. theresacaputo.com.

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Up Front Family, Friends, Fun

Outdoor Movies

T

he PEMCO Outdoor Movies at Riverfront Park feature big-screen movies, circus performers from

Spokane Aerial Performance Arts, movie trivia and tasty food trucks. Wednesdays from June 11 to July 16.

Bring blankets and warm clothes for a comfortable evening. All events are dog

The

Farm Chicks es Show Antiqu

photos by Kate Jennings Photography

The Farm Chicks Antiques Show

is held the first full weekend of June each year in Spokane and features antiques, vintage objects, handmade goods, and the most friendly and stylish curators around, filling the fairgrounds with 300 curated spaces.

They describe it as the happiest antiques show on earth!

Admission: $8 per day, or $15 for a full weekend pass. Tickets may be purchased any time during the show as well as Friday, June 6, from 3 p.m.-5 p.m. at the ticket windows at the fairgrounds.

Crowds: Saturday is a very busy day at the show, and tends to be very crowded until the late afternoon. Parents are cautioned that strollers can be extremely difficult to navigate. Baby packs or baby backpacks are highly advised. If you do not like crowds, they recommend visiting the show on Sunday, as the show is much less crowded and much easier to navigate. Booths are re-stocked with fresh unseen goods, just for Sunday’s shoppers.

For more information, visit www.thefarmchicks.com.

friendly.

2014 PEMCO Outdoor Movies at Riverfront Park Schedule: June 11: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off June 18: Frozen June 25: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire July 2: Up July 9: Pitch Perfect July 16: The Goonies Pre-movie seating is $5 starting at 7 p.m. and includes entry for all entertainment, trivia, giveaways, and vendor activities.

Movies start at dusk.

Visit www.epiceap.com/spokane-outdoormovies for more information.

Spokane County Fair and Expo Center Saturday, June 7, 2014 9 a.m.–6 p.m. | Sunday, June 8, 2014 9 a.m.–4 p.m.

May_June 2014

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The joint’s a jumpin' with flappers and flyboys, gangsters

Music, and dolls. ​ art, fashion pop culture roar to life

and

as we transport the grounds of Arbor Crest Winery back to its Jazz Age origins, the naughty 1920s!

where spokane get gets en engaged.

Main Stage

Rare Earth’s Peter Rivera

Friday July 25th 5:00pm-10:00pm Arbor Crest | 4705 N Fruit Hill Rd, Spokane WA 12

TICKETS $25 & INFO | spokanecdawoman.com woman

: bozzimediaevents.eventbrite.com

Bookreview A Real Couple Survives the Roller Coaster of Marriage A modern day couple

on a Hawaiian vacation accidently discovers, through their daily adventures, that they’ve failed their vows; the intoxicating sunrise on the island inadvertently changes their relationship, their entire outlook on life, and their ability to battle a much crueler opponent than a mid-life marriage rut.

The Happy Place by Spokane resident, CJ Vertefeuille is currently available in paperback at Aunties Books and Hastings, as well as on Amazon and Kindle. CJ’s book accurately describes the beauty of Kauai and the adventures the island has to offer. The story concludes with a twist that leaves readers asking themselves if they have to have found their own “happy place.”

Cj’s intent was to tell a love story of the average middle-aged couple, and unexpectedly created a controversy and honest discussion among wives. The book forces wives to ask the hard questions, such as: “Am I failing my marriage? Is my marriage the best it can be? What can I do to make it better?”

The movement has a unique following among local female readers wanting to make their marriage a better place to be. It is a husband-friendly read that deliberately puts the power of a happy relationship in the hands of wives. The discussion about how to be a better wife has sparked the creation of the Mid-Life Wives blog at www.cjvertefeuille.com. The blog offers a monthly challenge to spirited wives that are committed to improving their relationships.

Excerpt: A shark couldn’t have gotten Robert out of the water quicker. With only their towels wrapped around them, they made their way to the room. The door opened, the door closed, the lights stayed off and the towels dropped. Robert forcefully pushed Ann against the wall in an assertive fashion that amplified the tone in a remarkable way. To Robert’s surprise, Ann pulled him to the floor and he didn’t resist. The suits weren’t exactly the easiest

to get off wet, but it made for some entertaining foreplay. The rare happening, and the flirting in the spa, gave them both a head start so the time spent on the floor was shorter than their tamer exploits, but neither of them complained.

Ann slipped on Robert’s shirt from earlier and together they crawled under the sheets. As Ann lay on Robert’s bare chest, she thought about how she was feeling at this moment and wondered why she was so willing to be intimate here compared to the few and far between escapades back home.

It was her, all her, she knew that much.

But it was going to be different from now on. When they first met they could barely keep their hands off of one another; and pre-marriage sex was just as hot and frequent. It’s easy to blame kids, work, age and the best excuse “I’m tired.” Ann had used these justifications, but as she lay there after waking up at dawn and spending the majority of the day touring and swimming, she realized that she was more physically exhausted today than she had been in quite some time. Yet, it never occurred to her to be “too tired” in these moments.

She remembered a saying she had heard a long time ago and it really didn’t ring true until now. It was from a man’s point of view and was how to keep a husband happy. It was something along the lines of “if he’s not horny . . . make him a sandwich.” She remembered the first time she heard it, feeling a little put out by it, but at that time she didn’t fully understand it. Men are simple and the good ones are easy to keep. Women just have to do everything they can to stay their girlfriends, more like who they were and how they acted before the nuptials.

It was in her control all along; she was nice, fun, flirty and respectful of his feelings. She reluctantly let go of her insecurities and truly believed that he loved her as she was, thighs and all. It felt amazing—she didn’t want to lose how she was feeling—and then she realized she didn’t have to . . . the power to have a happy husband was completely hers.

CJ is the self-proclaimed president of the MidLife Wives Club and encourages women to take the power of their happiness into their own hands and create the marriage and the life they want. Her writing is like chatting with your best girlfriend over a glass—or bottle—of wine. Visit www.cjvertefeuille.com for more information.

May_June 2014

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The Right Investments in Your IRA Can Make All the Difference

Random acts of craziness

[In other words…seriously weird things people say and do]

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Abandoning Carts and Creating Lines

By Grace Annabella Bennetton

Some people just love to shop, whether it’s for groceries, someone else, as a necessity or self-gifting (I prefer the latter). Grocery shopping seems to be therapeutic and cathartic for men and women alike. And most of the time I agree—it can be relaxing, except . . .

The grocery stores around our neighborhood are a great place to see neighbors, your kids’ former teachers, the Dad down the street (whose name you don’t remember or care about) and random people who look familiar, but not really. Whenever I go grocery shopping, I’m usually entirely relaxed until I get into the checkout line. I try to assess the shortest line with the fewest number of items ahead of me. I could use the self-checkout line, but there always seems to be a problem with an item that only the clerk can fix, so why not just go through the “manned” check-out lines?

Here’s the thing. I usually guess wrong. I get behind the person who just unloaded all their groceries on the conveyor belt, forgot one (or two or three) items and left the line to “quickly grab” those items from aisles near (and far).

And despite doing this, they get back in the line, determine that they really wanted paper and not plastic (ignore the fact that the groceries are already loaded into plastic because you were not in line when the process began) and ask the guy/gal bagging the groceries to repack the items into paper bags (but don’t overload it because they don’t want them to tear). This shopper feels better because they are doing their part to “be green” even though they have at least ten reusable bags in their car that they neglected to bring into the store.

Yep, that’s a fine, courteous “green shopper” right there.

Which is why it’s probably fine now, just to be efficient—after the total has been rung—to say you need a book of stamps, some lottery tickets and some added cash for the week-

end—just to give the poor kid rebagging your items a bit more time to finish.

The line behind you has grown and the bagger doesn’t ask if you need help getting your items to your car—he just wants you to move along. So you pause, just beyond the end of the check stand, but squarely in the middle of the walkway, to check your receipt and make sure you received credit for your coupons, loyalty points and sale items. You rummage through your bags (without moving your cart or acknowledging people who are trying not to hit you with their carts as they exit the line), to make sure that you were not overcharged for any items.

Once you get to the outer doors, you pause again, right in the middle of the doorway, trying to remember where you parked. You forget to check both ways before pushing on into the “cruising for a close spot” auto traffic. Someone honks and you look around bewildered.

And since you got no help getting your items to the car, please don’t leave your cart anywhere other than the cart corral. Don’t look around slyly and leave your empty cart next to your car. You just walked up and down the store aisles for 30 minutes filling your cart.

You can walk another 10 or 20 yards to put your cart away. Don’t be a cart abandoner. I see you. I probably know you. You’d be well advised to walk your cart quickly, safely and happily to the cart corral, get into your car and drive away, drive away now.

Grace Annabella Bennetton (aka GAB) is a local writer, observer of human behavior and conversationalist. If you have a Random Act of Craziness to share, send your story to graceannabellabennetton@ gmail.com.

pattiusselman.com (509) 723-9827

14 E. Mission, Suite #5, Spokane, WA 99202 May_June 2014

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Move that body WEARING A BIKINI CAN BE A BEACH!

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By Kate Armstrong

Ten tips to prepare your body (and mind!) for swimsuit season

It’s been a long, hard winter and even though most humans are yearning for the sun and fun, the thought of donning a swimsuit can strike fear in the hearts of many of us. But “swimsuits” go with “summer” the way “cream of potato soup” goes with “winter.” Unless you vow to stay indoors all season, you might have to succumb. Here are a few tips to help you prepare for the physical shock of trying on your swimsuit for the first time in more than eight or nine months (as well as the mental shock of wearing it in public):

1. One potato, two potato

As you prepare yourself for the season of Lycra and Spandex, be cognizant of your daily intake of starches. We’re not saying eliminate them altogether, but pick your carbs carefully.

Choose whole grains over processed and add plenty of fruits and vegetables.

2. Think before you drink

As much as summer seems to necessitate a frosty, cold carbonated beverage, try to avoid soft drinks (diet or regular) altogether. Also, try to stay away from sports drinks or anything with excessive sugary, fruit content. All of these variables lead to bloating. Stick with water and teas, especially in the two to three weeks leading up to that first sunscreen slather of the season.

3. Don’t skip the sunrise

You’ve heard this time and time again. Make sure you eat breakfast. And not just a banana.

Eat a full-fledged breakfast, complete with protein, dairy and fruit.

4. Hey, good lookin’

Make yourself cook, at the minimum, three healthy dinners a week at home. You'll save money, and the calories you save by not consuming restaurant super-sized portions will be unbelievable (and immeasurable to boot).

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woman | spokanecdawoman.com

5. In the meantime, in between time Make your morning

out-the-door ritual include packing your snacks for the day. Make sure you have something for every two to three hours—and no, candy bars probably shouldn’t be included.

6. Read it, see it, believe it

Either write down your goals (“This Summer, I WILL rock a yellow polka dot bikini,” “This Summer, I WILL reach my goal weight,” etc.) and put the sheet of paper on a door or mirror that you glance at daily, or better yet, display that swimsuit out in the open for you to see every day.

7. Pump it up It’s not enough to up

your cardio game. To tone up quickly for your “grand debut” at the pool or on the beach, you must add strength training to your weekly workout routine. It is a myth that women shouldn’t lift more than three pounds. Now, don’t overdo it and try to bench press 100 pounds when the most you’ve ever lifted is your economysized pretzel canister at Costco, but do try to increase your normal intensity.

8. Focus

Although it is true that you cannot “spot reduce” on a specific area on your body, you certainly can “target and tone.” Try doing squats while holding a medicine ball, or jumping lunges: 15 - 20 reps of each.

9. Stand for your beliefs Try

adjusting your posture when you walk, or even as you sit. By throwing those shoulders back and standing up straight, you are lengthening your torso, and strengthening your core. This should also be done as you wear your swimsuit out and about. This will make you look longer and leaner as you saunter past the cute lifeguard, and confidence goes a long way. Fake it until you make it, if need be.

10. Be a bronze goddess

We certainly aren’t advocating becoming a million shades of orange, nor are we promoting sleeping eight hours a day in a tanning bed.

However, a swipe of sunless self-bronzing lotion over the high points of your face, chest and shoulders, as well as the shins of your legs, can give an immediate slimming effect in less than an hour. A slightly bronzed hue to your skin can certainly diminish the starkness that has been hiding under wool for eight months, making you feel more confident about showing off your appendages. Use these tanners and lotions gradually as you transition to real Vitamin D, and of course, at that point, use a protectant lotion with SPF 30 or higher.

In addition to her full-time job in Corporate America, Kate Armstrong is a licensed fitness instructor, producing annual Zumba Fitness events in Spokane. www.ZMeDance.com.

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17

Travel blackberry farm

Story and photo by Cheryl-Anne Millsap

T

and lives there; children are growing up there. I can’t help but feel that he question comes up from time to time at dinner parties or changes the feel of a place. over cocktails. Knowing how much I travel, someone asks The guest rooms and private cottages are beautifully decorated and are where I’ve been lately. Then they want to know my favorite a fine place to hide away, but the unique charm of the resort is the way it destinations. Paris, I tell them. I love Paris. And, in condraws you outdoors, into the sweet air. trast, Iceland, because the strange, wonderful, landscape fascinates The gardens produce heirloom produce. Hens provide fresh eggs. Bees me. The next place on my list usually surprises whoever is asking: give wild-flower honey and through a series of hands-on activities, proBlackberry Farm, in Walland, Tennessee. grams, classes, tastings and cooking demonstraTennessee? Absolutely. tions, you can explore distinctive “Foothills CuiI grew up in the south and spent many sumLocation: Blackberry Farm sine” and farm husbandry on an intimate scale. mers and weekends crisscrossing the Great The dining is stellar—executive chef, Joseph is a 25-minute drive from Knoxville Smoky Mountains. I’ve been living in the NorthLenn, is a James Beard Foundation winner and Airport. west a long time but I still love those green, Bon Appetit called the farm the #1 hotel for food Rates: $$$$$ This is a bucket list shadowed mountains. They are grand, ancient lovers in America. The wine cellar is massive. and weathered. Nothing like the jagged Rockies destination and is priced accordingly.

There are fly-fishing, horseback riding and hiking or the chain of showy, restless volcanoes that jut Join the Friends of the Farm list for and the new spa brings a renewed focus on wellabove the clouds in the Northwest. discounted rates and other perks. ness. Seasonal events include concerts by musical I think everyone should see the Smokies at More information: legends like Emmy Lou Harris, unique enrichleast once. They are deep and quiet and full of www.blackberryfarm.com. ment opportunities and lifestyle retreats and cymystery and traces of the people who settled cling events. there centuries ago.

And always, from almost every window, beBut back to Blackberry Farm. The 4,200yond the meadows and rolling fields, you can see the foothills of those acre Relais and Chateaux Resort in the foothills of the Great Smoky beautiful old mountains.

Mountains is everything you would expect in a luxury resort. But to leave it at that is too superficial. It is so much more. Blackberry Farm is imbued with all the things one appreciates most about the South. It Cheryl-Anne Millsap is a travel writer whose audio essays can be heard is warm, welcoming, gracious with an abundance of hospitality and on Spokane Public Radio and on public radio stations across the U.S. She dressed with understated elegance. Steeped in tradition yet progresis the author of Home Planet: A Life in Four Seasons (available at Aunties sive and innovative.

Bookstore in Spokane) and can be reached at catmillsap@gmail.com.

Blackberry Farm is, first, a home. The Beall family owns the resort

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(509) 455-5050 | www.nw-woman.com 105 W. Eighth Ave, Ste. 6020 & 6025 Spokane, WA 99204

May_June 2014

19

Relationships connect House Bill 1840

Removes Guns

From Domestic Violence

L

a silent call to 911 and Spokane police ast April the YWCA of Spokane arrived and took him into custody served as a “studio” for NBC’s without incident.

Rock Center with Brian Williams According to the National Institute as they interviewed Spokane of Justice and the Centers for Disease resident Stephanie Holten. Stephanie, a Control and Prevention’s National demure and soft-spoken mother of two, Violence Against Women Survey, one was interviewed about her experience in every four women will experience as the survivor of gun-related domestic domestic violence in violence. her lifetime. Sadly, When her former One third of female one third of female husband’s postdivorce behavior homicide victims are killed homicide victims are killed by an intimate became increasingly by an intimate partner, partner, someone who terrifying, Stephanie once claimed to love mentioned it to someone who once them. a friend in law claimed to love them.

The same study enforcement who reports that about suggested she file for 20 percent of the 1.5 a protective order. million people who experience intimate Shortly thereafter, her former husband partner violence annually obtain a civil showed up at her house, blocked her protection order. Approximately one car in with his, and followed her into half of the orders obtained by women the house, ultimately forcing her to her against intimate partners who physically knees, pleading for her life, at gunpoint. assaulted them, were violated. More Unbeknownst to him, she’d initiated

A national research study by the American Journal of Public Health found that a domestic violence victim is five times more likely to be killed when a gun is present. In Washington State, guns are by far the most common weapons used in domestic violence homicides—more than all other weapons combined.

Groups like The Children’s Defense Fund and Moms Demand Action are providing education on the devastating impact guns in the home can have on both mothers and their children. CDF, a national advocacy group recently ran an ad pointing out the increased lethality when a gun is present in a home.

To learn more, visit www.childrensdefense.org or www.momsdemandaction.org.

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than two thirds of restraining orders issued against partners who raped or stalked the victim were violated.

Grace Huang, Public Policy Coordinator for the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence says, “Abusers’ access to firearms increases the lethality of domestic violence and makes it more dangerous for friends, family, and law enforcement to safely intervene. Domestic violence is about control; the abuser controlling the victim’s life. For some victims, getting a protection order is the first step in taking their lives back. And that’s threatening to the abuser and where we often see guns come into play.”

Evidence confirms that abusers who feel as though they are losing the ability to control their victims tend to escalate.

The most dangerous time for a survivor of domestic violence can be the period of time immediately after a victim has requested a protective order from the court.

This is what makes the recent passage of House Bill 1840 so important.

Signed into law by Governor Jay Inslee on March 28, HB 1840 aligns Washington State law with federal law by removing firearms from those subject to protection orders. The bill allows a judge to require someone with a history of domestic violence to surrender their weapons if they are under a no-contact or permanent restraining order.

Alleged abusers are entitled to notice and a hearing before being ordered

to surrender their weapons. After a decade of advocacy from victim’s rights groups like the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, advocates were excited to see a unanimous vote, which sends a strong message from the legislature that they support victim safety and recognize the importance of keeping guns out of the hands of domestic violence abusers legally deemed too dangerous to have them. Passed unanimously in both houses, Governor Inslee called the bill a sign that, “We can do common-sense things here around gun violence.”

Shortly after the passage of HB 1840, we checked in with Regina Malveaux, executive director of the YWCA of Spokane, which operates a 24-hour crisis line, emergency shelter, and free legal and counseling services for victims of domestic violence and their children. “This is an issue that I have been a decades-long advocate on, and I’m exceptionally grateful to get to share in this important moment for victims and women in our state,” she says. “I lost an aunt to gun related domestic violence homicide and nearly lost my mother and stepfather in a gun related homicide/suicide attempt in 1995. To say that the issue holds special significance for me is an understatement. This is an incredibly important moment for victims in our state and an important testament to why our perseverance as advocates matters.”

Last year the YWCA served nearly 14,000 women and children in its programs designed for victims of domestic violence. If you are in need of help or have a friend in an abusive relationship, please call their 24-hour crisis line at (509) 326-CALL. The YWCA offers free emergency shelter, counseling, legal services and employment assistance to victims of domestic violence.

May_June 2014

21

Herstory

Rashida

Gaye

By Rashida Gaye

I

t’s amazing how one phone call can rock your emotions, your sense of security, your sense of well-being.

Afterward, you know you will look at everything differently, and your vision may, from that point forward, be tainted.

For me, this call came from my husband during an ordinary check-in while I was out of town on business.

He had just finished attending Jummah, the weekly congregational prayer that he attends at our local mosque.

He never misses a week. When my schedule permits, I attend as well. He calls me to share the Khutbah (sermon).

I look forward to this because in that sermon, and in his report, I know will come pearls of wisdom from the Imam (worship leader), pearls that help us navigate through the difficulties of life.

Instead of pearls, my husband shared that a group of ten protestors stood across the street from the mosque that day.

Signs in hand, bullhorns spouted words of hate. Words such as: sin, condemnation, repent, and hell. My first thought was for the children. Parents typically bring their children to Jummah on Fridays. Did the children hear? How did it make them feel? I was happy that my four year old was at preschool and not in attendance that day. Then I thought of the 300 or so worshippers who were there.

How would this change their perception of their community?

Before moving to Spokane, I was told that this side of the state, the east side, is fairly traditional, religious, and conservative; while the west side, the Seattle side, tended to be more tolerant, diverse, and liberal. I know many Americans have a distrust of

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Muslims since 911, but living in a country where freedom of religion is one of our core values always gave me a sense of security that just maybe I would never have to experience such a thing.

I feel anger that my religion would be attacked in such a vile manner. That the beauty of this wonderful landscape could lose its appeal, because of a small number of people, in a way that forces me to question living here. I fear how my children will fare as Muslims in this environment.

In all fairness, I have to add that I have met many good, helpful tolerant Spokanites. In a city of more than 200,000 people, I know that it is not fair to judge them all by the actions of a small number of people.

My neighbors are wonderful. The teachers and children at my son’s school know that we are Muslim. We have never been treated differently because of it. They have willingly made special allowances for my son, if needed.

I wonder how I would be treated if I covered my hair with a hijab. I notice plenty of hijabis in the mall, out about and around town, and in the schools that I work with for my job.

The Spokesman Review featured a story about a Muslim family living in the tiny town of Springdale. The story was on the front page, along with a dominant photo of the Muslim mother in a hijab. This was a shocker to me and led me to believe that maybe Spokane was more tolerant than the west siders had said. In the cities I have lived in, I have never seen a hijabi featured on the front page of a city paper. Ironically, one of the things that the mother mentioned was that in her town of 300 people, her neighbors treated her with the utmost respect.

They even came to her aid after her husband passed away.

My rose colored glasses are broken. I am angry that these people feel that it is necessary to taint my perception of Spokane.

I don’t plan to confront the protesters if they happen to show up while I am present. I want to show them that I have

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the same God-given right to practice my faith however I see fit, and without harassment or degradation from others.

My only prayer is that something good comes out of this. I hope that people who fear, or don’t understand, Islam and Muslims, begin engaging with us in a peaceful manner. I want people to know the majority of us are peaceful people who do not condone terrorism, misogyny or violence. I want them to know we accept all the prophets from Adam to Abraham to Moses to Jesus to Muhammad and others in between (peace be upon them all) as great messengers of the one God. This one God we call Allah only because in Arabic, the word for God is Allah. I want them to know that we believe in the virgin birth of Jesus and that we hold Jesus and his mother in the highest regard.

I want to stop holding my breath for fear that whenever a terrorist attack is announced, it will be linked to Islam.

Maybe I still have my rose colored glasses on, but if I don’t believe that something good will come of this, if I lose hope that things will change for the better, then I will never be at peace.

To calm me down, my husband said:

Ignorance lives everywhere.

You can’t let it affect you so deeply. You can only be a different example of what they think Islam is.

This stays with me, but it remains difficult for a sensitive soul not to be affected so deeply, and by everything.

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May_June 2014

23

Role model

heather Scholten

By Cheryl-Anne Millsap

Heather Scholten’s 2003 move from Seattle to a Victorian farmhouse near Spokane with husband Gary, and their two children, brought more than a new landscape. It brought a new way of life.

After they sold the farmhouse in 2010 and began the remodel of a 1912 Craftsman bungalow in Cheney, Heather launched her successful food blog, Farmgirl Gourmet. Today, in addition to the blog, she works with companies like Cabot Cheese, Tillamook, Sabra, Bob’s Red Mill, California Olive Ranch, Harry and David and others as a recipe developer and brand ambassador.

SCW: What brought you to Eastern

Washington?

Heather: My husband telecommutes for GE Healthcare.

We were living in the Seattle area with our two young children and decided we wanted to slow down our hectic lives. We hit the road one Memorial holiday weekend and looked at homes in every major city in Washington. One house on our list kept calling to me and it was the last we were to see in the Spokane area. It was an 1889 farmhouse on 20 acres. We stepped out of the car and that was the end of the looking.

It captured us heart and soul.

Is this something you’ve done before?

Our first house together was a 1914 bungalow in Seattle’s Greenwood neighborhood. We worked on it constantly and found that we enjoy house projects together. We are on our third old house and although my husband swears the next will be a new house, I think fixing is in our blood. On the current restoration, we have pulled up carpeting and laminate floors to reveal original fir floors that we have lovingly restored. We are currently working on an upstairs bathroom for our kids. It was tough pulling out the claw foot tub, but we will be restoring and repurposing it for the future master bath remodel.

We’re also renovating a back porch that was previously remodeled into a 50s diner. We pulled up the checkerboard floor to find beautiful fir floors and added in period builtins that now serve as pantry space that we were lacking. We’ve done so much more to this house and we aren’t even close to finishing.

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You’re best known for your Farmgirl Gourmet blog. How did that get started?

Did you have a background in food?

When we bought the farm, our family and friends were begging us constantly for pictures and it hit me one day that I should just start a blog and share what we were doing on the old piece of land.

I have always loved to cook, so sharing recipes on the blog came natural to me.

How has your career evolved since starting the blog?

I was working in various careers while dabbling in the food blog world, but in October 2010, I gave it all up and went head first into food blogging. The opportunities that have landed in my lap have been incredible! I’ve won trips to conferences, worked with amazing brands doing recipe development and food photography as well as making lasting partnerships that not only deliver amazing goodies to my door, but also help me pay my mortgage.

Getting paid to create beautiful food and then getting to sit down and enjoy it with the ones you love is a dream job for sure.

You’re now involved in a new business, Spiceologist. How did that come about?

In February 2013, I received an email from local chef Pete Taylor. It detailed his business, then called Savorx, and that he needed a business partner to “make it or break it.” My business was booming with Farmgirl Gourmet, but there was something about Pete’s

spice company that I knew I couldn’t pass up. We hit the ground running in late April and it’s been an amazing ride since. We are working hard at growing our direct to consumer business (spiceologist.com) as well as securing large wholesale accounts throughout the Pacific Northwest. We want to bring a whole new look to the spice world. Our vision is for the consumer to choose us because we are different and ultra premium, not just another commodity.

You have two children and you work from home. That’s something a lot of women do or wish they could do. How do you manage the demands of family and business?

Juggling two businesses, a family and an old house is rough at times, but we have a strong family unit and help each other by filling gaps when they arise. My children, Jordan 16 and Connor 12, have hectic school, band, and sports schedules, but being my own boss affords me the ability to stop and be present for them whenever they need me. I feel very fortunate to have the life that I do.

What would you like readers to know about you?

I live each day with one mantra: If you believe it, you will receive it. I believed in Farmgirl Gourmet and managed to turn a struggling blog into a nationally recognized brand. Next up is Spiceologist!

May_June 2014

25

Girl power

Buffalo Girls Ginger Lyons and Tamra Brannon photo by Diane Maehl Photography

omen Two W

e Vintag

Goods

aison

M e Paris Isabell

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omen Two W oods G e g a t Vin

woman | spokanecdawoman.com

E n t re p r e n e u r s

Fashioning Their Futures From The Past

A

By Judith Spitzer

from Tamra’s grandfather’s stories. “Joseph Zelazny, my grandfather, was a POW in World War II and he introduced me to William Jones who was one of the last living Buffalo Soldiers. I met him at a veterans memorial my grandfather erected in Tacoma,” says Tamra.

“And because we have a huge love of the song—Buffalo Gals . . . won’t you come out tonight,” adds Ginger. “And also we have a huge love of It’s a Wonderful Life and Donna Reed,” Lyons says. “When I was a little girl I watched reruns on Nick at Nite.”

Buffalo Girls, they say, are strong women who believe in heritage and legacy and want to be their absolute best self all the time.

Traditional Americana.

“We love to get dirty and play with rocks and play outside, but we’re still girls. My husband always says we’re half truckers and half debutantes,” says Tamra.

They call each other Grit and Grace. Tamra says, “She can’t let anyone see her without makeup and I’m the dirty-jeans-withcowboy-boots type.”

Both women have two kids, husbands who work in law enforcement, both are volunteer art teachers in their kids’ classrooms at Prairie View Elementary and both have a tendency to talk at the same time. They go on a walk every morning before they open for business at exactly 9 a.m. when school starts.

“And we go until exactly 3:32 p.m.” Tamra adds.

They’re both grateful they get to do what they love and for the deep bonds of friendship they share. “It’s rare that you can mesh all that and mesh being moms of kids,” Ginger says.

The two women started out together painting on furniture and creating anything and everything that would sit still long enough to be decorated, repurposed and/or restored, including jewelry.

They have a fascination with raw metal, especially Tamra who says she loves it because, “You can pound on it, etch it. I’m a welder so I take those techniques and use salvaged pieces of metal, whether it’s old jewelry or old pennies or whatever. We’re always saying ‘what if you do this’ and ‘what if you do this’ and it’s so much fun.”

After doing local and regional vintage shows, the two started receiving more requests for jewelry and, “I hated having to paint furniture on my lawn and have yellow spots from paint, and I said ‘I don’t want to do this anymore.’ And Tamra said, ‘Let’s do all metal,’” Ginger says.

Buffalo gals, won’t you come out tonight?

Since retiring from the furniture business, the two women Come out tonight, Come out tonight? have been creating jewelry, using vintage pieces and forging And dance by the light of the lo a ff Bu metal into their very own creations. moon.

Girls Tamra’s love of vintage and history are quite apparent. On one wall hangs a large fork and spoon she points to. “That Tamra Brannon and Ginger Lyons, both fork and spoon came from when my grandmother lived 37, are as they say, a pair to draw to. It is in Minnesota. That stuff can’t be thrown away,” she says almost a certainty that both women have vehemently. “That’s history.” danced by the light of the moon.

Ginger had quite a scare right after Christmas this year They own Buffalo Girls Vintage and run it after receiving a diagnosis of cancer that only “one in one from their respective homes in Five Mile in million people ever have.” northwest Spokane. tography aehl Pho Diane M Ginger was in Seattle with the kids on Christmas break They molded the name of their business photo by report released March 27 by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation’s Center for Women in Business offers some revealing numbers regarding the current state of women-owned businesses in the country.

Not surprisingly, women are most likely to be self-employed in the Western states, led by the Pacific Northwest.

Oregon ranks first with more than 45 percent of self-employed female workers and Washington State comes in fourth among all states for self-employed women at 44 percent.

Although Texas ranks second in the nation, the other top seven states for self-employed women are in the West: Utah, Nevada, New Mexico, and Wyoming. In all, 11 of the top 17 states for female entrepreneurs lie in a string of western states from Washington State to Texas.

The report also found that nearly one-third of all new U.S. businesses launched in the last 15 years are women-owned and that women are founding companies at a faster rate than any other group.

Most interesting is that a startling 90 percent of women-owned businesses are sole enterprises and have no other employees.

There is another trend happening in our very own backyard that hasn’t been measured by anyone to date. It’s one of those obviousif-you-know-what-you’re-looking-for type of trends and is made up of women artisans who repaint, recover, repurpose, redo, revamp, restore and renovate old into new and create art from anything and everything you can think of including and especially . . . junk.

You can find them at garage and estate sales bartering for a second-hand desk, chair or other precious wares, at any store that sells Annie Sloan’s chalk paint, and any number of local annual sales like Down The Rabbit Hole, Junk Drunk and of course the Farm Chicks Antique Show.

Some of these women own their own storefronts in Spokane and Coeur d’Alene, others chase the vintage show calendar, and still others dare to share their wares on their own timetable.

Meet three entrepreneurial women business owners—soul sistas—who dance to the beat of their own vintage drums, set their own pace and work their proverbial backsides off.

May_June 2014

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Girl power when she received a call from her doctor, “Telling me I had cancer,” she says. “I was standing in the middle of Pike Place Market, my husband was in a meeting and I was trying to keep it together with the kids. I called Tamra and asked her, ‘Would you research this and find out if I’m going to die,’” she says tearing up a bit.

Tamra breaks in, “I was researching it online and I would send her long, long texts about what I was finding out,” she says. Ginger went in for the surgery three days after Christmas. “She sat at my bedside most of the next week and we made a bunch of jewelry on the hospital tray that they use to eat on because we had this deadline to make.”

During that week they discovered nothing would stop them. “We don’t quit. Nothing is going to stop us or slow us down. We are going to support each other no matter what,” says Ginger.

They had a big order to fill and they made it through the rough patch with bells on.

“Everything was done in about a month and we delivered big,” says Ginger. “We believe in positive energy; you attract what you put out there. We don’t believe in letting things get us down. Of course it’s very motivating to be in the hospital recuperating in January and know that you’re going to have to be ready to be in Farm Chicks in June,” Ginger says laughing.

Since then they have started collaborating with Dandles Candles, they’re working with Belle Victorian Gardens in Deer Park to make bridal jewelry and you can find their jewelry at the Davenport Hotel in downtown Spokane.

You will also find them at the Farm Chicks Antique Show on June 7-8 and Junk Nation Review in Davenport on July 5, 2014.

Two Women Vintage Goods A mother and daughter affair

Like women who gathered together in the past, whether it was sewing circles, quilting or some other reason to be together, most women love to talk, gossip, and support one another. Dianna Chelf and her daughter Fielding Chelf are no exception.

The “Two Women” specialize in vintage inspired décor, antiques, unique gifts and useful items for your urban farmhouse.

Chelf Both women are artists.

Fielding and Dianna Dianna is accomplished in the field of folk art and creates beautiful original pieces in the genre of scherenshnitte, otherwise known as the Pennsylvania Dutch folk art of paper cutting. Her cuttings are watercolored and framed in handmade, grain painted frames. She also grain paints beautiful Shaker-style boxes.

Fielding is a jewelry designer specializing in unique original pieces made of semi-precious gemstones, various natural elements, precious metal, and pieces that incorporate vintage, antique and found objects.

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They opened their brick and mortar store at 112 S. Cedar in Spokane one year ago, but they’ve done antique shows on their property north of Spokane in the spring and fall since 2007.

They also host a special Christmas show at the Moran Prairie Grange on the South Hill, as well as other local shows and the Farm Chicks Antique Show every June.

Originally from Tucson, Dianna has long been an antique dealer who participated in swap meets every weekend and when the family moved to Seattle she sold at antique shows there. Her husband, who works for Verizon, got transferred to Spokane in 1997. They all live on property north of Spokane.

“Fielding lives behind us on the same property so we’re kind of living together, but then we can all go home,” she says with a laugh.

How do they get along living and working together so closely?

“Well . . . we have our fights but we always make up,” Dianna says.

“I’m an only child,” says Fielding. “I’ve always been really close to my parents. We’re mother and daughter but we are also really good friends.

“And we have very different personalities. My mom is really good at design, doing window displays and that,” Fielding says. Dianna adds that her daughter does all the graphic design, photos, social media and such.

They both work at the store on most days and Fielding has her 10-year-old son with her often.

Colorful homemade aprons hang from one wall near the back of the store, made by Elaine Foster, a local vendor. Another local woman, Arlene McComas, who blogs at HeartRocksHome. com makes purses from vintage flour sacks and Rose Hill Farms makes seasonal gift items.

Fielding says she believes it has always been difficult for artisans to make a living. Some do really well on Etsy she says, “but they also work really, really hard to become successful.

This is not a hobby for us. That’s why there is so much turnover in vintage/antique stores and handcrafted items.”

“We curate stuff from auctions. It’s so competitive now,” Dianna says.

“But with auctions you’re on a level playing field. But I do tend to get carried away sometimes.” Like many vendors, Dianna and Fielding buy what they like.

“Although that doesn’t always work either,” says Dianna. “It’s more like, if you like it then you don’t worry so much about getting stuck with it.” She laughs. “If you like something you’re more passionate about it and then it’s easier to sell.”

They agree that success depends on the day of the week, the weather, the season, the part of the country. While they do negotiate at times, they say whether or not they do depends on how they are approached.

“The approach,” says Dianna as they look at each other and smile. “People can be rude. They have even said to us, ‘Well you didn’t pay anything for it so…’ Lots of people think we don’t pay for what we sell. But for the most part people are very educated now about how things work.”

Two Women also plan to be vendors at the Farm Chicks Antique Show in June.

photo by Judit

Isabelle Paris Maison

h Spitzer

A little taste of France in Spokane

Dawn Driscoll works for herself and she likes it that way.

She opened Isabelle Paris Maison in October 2012 at 159 S. Lincoln in Spokane’s Steam Plant building. She specializes in painted furniture in the Shabby Chic, Cottage and French styles.

She says she was at a low point in her life when she decided to strike out on Isabelle Paris Maison her own. Her husband had lost his job and then her mom passed away, which meant she also no longer had a job since she had been working as her mom’s caregiver. She had to pull herself up by her bootstraps and carry on, she says.

Her little shop is packed to the gills with “vintage and vintage-inspired gifts and furnishings for the romantic home.”

Dawn made the wrap stand in the middle of her store herself with salvaged wood, free finds from Craigslist, old doors and windows she hauled off of a farm. “The marble pieces on top are from an old bank building that was being torn down. That door had manure on it when I got it,” she confides. “I didn’t have a dream of opening my own store but I don’t like to work for other people.”

Dawn says she inherited her design genes from her grandmother. Her love of all things vintage came to her when she was young. She fondly remembers shopping for antiques with her grandmother in San Francisco.

“My grandmother taught me to appreciate what was handed down within the family.

I have things that were brought over from Ireland from my great grandmother. My grandmother taught me to appreciate and love family heirlooms,” Dawn says. “I have at least three sets of inherited china. She used to let me play with the china and didn’t act like it was too special to play with.”

Today, Dawn has four grown kids. She married at 21 and says they never had money while she was young and raising her children. “We married right out of college, and right when my husband started making money, we started having kids,” she says.

So she decorated with inherited pieces and found furniture.

She says she’s always had a knack for using things for other than what they were made for, and always shopped at thrift stores, buying inexpensive pieces of furniture.

“Even if I had all the money in the world I’d still shop thriftily because not having money forces you to be more creative,” she says. “I’ve been repurposing my whole life— even before repurposing was trendy. Now it’s really popular.”

Her goal is to provide affordable but beautiful pieces, she says.

“I salvage stuff, anything I can find, and turn it into something special. I buy things that I love that are beautiful and high quality. Not trendy. That’s how I buy for myself and that’s how I buy for the store. And I think zer Spit photo by Judith that’s how other people buy for their homes.”

It’s important, she says, that she keeps her prices affordable to the average person.

Her clients are people who are collectors, people who celebrate their individual look, those who are not looking for new items but timeless treasures.

And like most people who love antiques she likes “the story behind things.”

Dawn Driscoll She thinks even younger people in their 20s and 30s appreciate the story behind things as well. “They want things with history.”

You can catch Driscoll, as well, at this year’s Farm Chicks Antique Show.

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Health power

Your Health & the Top Issues Over the Ages

By Susan Legel

Women in the Child-Bearing Years Women who are in the prime of their physiological life often face challenges that menopausal women have already conquered—or are at least winning.

Finances, parenthood, and family/career challenges are stressors that significantly impact younger women, and the relationship between stress and physical health is becoming more widely known. Women face many of the same serious health risks as men, including heart attack, stroke, lung cancer, and mental health.

In addition, women in this phase of life may experience specific health issues such

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as infertility or, conversely, with birth control needs as well as fatigue, irregular or painful menses, sexually transmitted diseases, female reproductive cancers, and other health concerns.

Pregnancy and childbirth are significant life events. Today’s women have many options to choose from, and many medical practices provide several supported programs, ensuring each woman feels well cared for. Your OB-GYN and your primary care provider (PCP) can help you determine what is right for you.

Your OB-GYN and/or PCP can help you maintain optimal health through regular well women’s exams (pelvic, pap and breast) on

a schedule that is right for you. Diagnosis and treatment of concerns and symptoms can be addressed or referred to an appropriate medical provider as part of diagnostic and treatment services. Some common health issues are pelvic pain; irregular, prolonged or heavy bleeding at or between periods; and frequent urinary tract infections.

Women in the Menopause Phases When women of my age were asked to identify their primary health issue, menopause and hormones topped the list. As women enter this phase of life, it sometimes feels like we are beginning to fall apart

mentally and physically. The wear and tear on our bodies begins to show, especially when we neglect to keep ourselves in as good of a condition as we could have. Weight gain, trouble concentrating, sudden sweats, fatigue, insomnia, pelvic organs wanting to slide to places they don’t belong, increased urinary tract infections, pain with intercourse, and increased emotions are common symptoms and conditions of menopause and postmenopause aging.

Some women may experience few issues during the menopausal phase of life. Many others experience significant symptoms, and others think they don’t, but may be in denial—as one woman stated, “I have no issues but don’t ask my family!” Most of us in this stage of life have experienced some symptoms common in menopause.

If you are experiencing just one or many of these common symptoms, there is hope. You and your OB-GYN or PCP can discuss various treatment options. Hormone replacement therapy can significantly alleviate many symptoms and some women swear by it. Hormone replacement therapy does bear some health risks and you will want to review the benefits versus risks for your unique situation and history with your medical provider. Studies of hormone treatments are on-going, and a comprehensive understanding of these sometimes conflicting study recommendations will help you make the determination best suited for you.

Issues such as incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse are very common as we age, but are not normal. These conditions can be managed through a variety of treatments, running the continuum from exercise through surgical intervention. A lot of scary and potentially misleading information has been published on sling operations using certain mesh products to reposition and hold the bladder. Not all mesh products are involved in this, and while no surgery should be considered lightly, it is important to talk to

a specialist in this field and make the right treatment decision for you. Many women have incontinence operations and are delighted with the results. The likelihood of positive results are substantially increased when surgeries are performed by surgeons with advanced professional training and who have significant successful experiences.

For example, I don’t want cardiac surgery performed by the new general surgeon, but I do want the fellowship-trained cardiac surgeon who routinely and successfully performs “my” surgery many times a year.

If you are in the menopause years, you may be past or in the process of ceasing your periods; it is still important to continue with regular wellness exams. At this stage in life, it is recommended that women receive an annual pelvic exam, while for some women the pap smear and mammogram can occur with less frequency depending on your risk assessment and family history.

At the risk of preaching to my own choir, managing weight, getting regular aerobic exercise, stretching and strength training, are activities that can help women of all ages improve and sustain our health, especially for our bones, heart and brain.

Good nutrition and vitamins also assist with general health in our continuing journey to become the woman we envision.

Maintaining social relationships, enjoying mental stimulation and having new experiences also significantly improve the quality of our lives. So meet some friends for dinner, go for that walk, learn a new language and travel to some new place— near or far—keep learning, and indulge your passions.

Women of all ages face health challenges, each specific to that wonderfully special and unique woman that you are. Working with your medical providers can help you address your health challenges and allow you to be the optimal you. Embrace this life of yours; each and every stage has its own challenges, but also its own magic.

I work together with my patients to ensure they receive the care, education and treatment that suits them best.

Douglas Brown, DO Board Certified

Compassionate, comprehensive women’s health care, close to home.

In-Office AIUM Accredited 3D/4D ultra sound Accepting New Patients 509.924.1990

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With this ring

Ways to Save Big on Your Wedding

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By Rachel Sandall Photos by Emily Wenzel Photography

I

t’s the perfect time to plan a wedding on a budget. With resources like Pinterest and wedding blogs, you can find endless inspiration no matter how much is in your bank account.

The main difference between the budget bride and a bride with no restraints is the time and effort it will take to create the day you want. Here are some tricks to help you along the way.

Choose a venue that allows you to use your own caterer.

Food is one of the major costs for weddings. You can save big by either making your own food or bringing in a less expensive caterer.

Get married on a Friday or Sunday.

You can literally save thousands by choosing to have your wedding on a day other than Saturday. Venues typically have these days wide open and will give great discounts to fill them.

Make your experience beautiful and your beauty an experience.

Blush hosts private parties, ladies nights, and is the perfect salon to host your pre-wedding day preps!

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Cut the guest list.

If you really want to save money, cutting your guest list is the best (and most painful) way to do it. Sit down with your fiancé and decide how many guests you can honestly afford to have, then narrow it down to the people you can’t imagine your wedding without.

Buy your dress secondhand.

There are a ton of wedding websites specializing in secondhand designer dresses and some of the vintage stores in Spokane occasionally carry wedding dresses, too.

Enjoy the new Regal Princess’ first 7-night Caribbean voyage.

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Keep things simple.

Decide early on what the priorities for your wedding are, then try not to be sidetracked by all the other inspirations you come across. Keep things as straightforward as possible by staying focused on what’s important to you.

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compassionate women's healthcare

Jody M. Hechtman, M.D. F.M. McCaffree, M.D. Robin Messinger, M.D. Steven J. Richards, M.D. Traci A. Satterfield, M.D. Lori S. Smetana, M.D. Susan Reinhardt, A.R.N.P. L. Jan Wills, A.R.N.P BrieAnne Gray, A.R.N.P. Sally Delger A.R.N.P

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for the love of

Prenatal Fitness Benefits Both

Mom Baby

Family E

By Amy Griffith

xercise during pregnancy is not only imperative to keep a mom-to-be fit and healthy, but it can also benefit the child’s lifelong health. This is according to recent research from the University of Virginia School of Medicine, which determined that exercise during pregnancy has a distinct molecular consequence on the unborn child that essentially allows the child to be more fit. Other studies have shown that maintaining a healthy weight during pregnancy is tied to preventing childhood obesity, which has reached epidemic proportions in the U.S. Of course, prenatal fitness is also an imperative for the budding mom’s own health with respect to both her physical and emotional well-being.

That said, while most understand that maintaining a pregnancy fitness regimen is beneficial, many women harbor erroneous fears and misconceptions about prenatal exercise or simply don’t know the best way to go about integrating fitness into their daily lifestyles—both of which undermine and inhibit a pregnant woman’s opportunity to optimize her health and fully enjoy the experience. >>

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Family study abroad

To help moms-to-be (with no applicable medical complications) gain expert-based knowledge and innate confidence relating to their fitness choices, use these eight tips and truths to give direction, debunk myths, and provide overall peace-of-mind to foster a fit, healthy and happy nine months: Start now. If a woman becomes pregnant and has not had a structured fitness routine beforehand, she can certainly start now—and should since exercise develops muscle tone, can help prevent gestational diabetes, aids in digestion and can help regulate blood pressure. Just be sure to begin with gentle forms of exercise. As the due date approaches, remaining active can also encourage the baby to move into proper position for birth. Even activity as simple as walking is hugely beneficial to a pregnant woman. She can even run, bike, dance and strength train as long as it still feels safe for her body. Whatever modality of exercise she decides to engage in, it is always of utmost importance that she listen to her body and recognize individual limitations.

Exercise to release endorphins.

Exercise has countless physical benefits with keeping muscles toned, maintaining healthy body fat levels, and improving cardiovascular health among them; it also releases endorphins that can help boost

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mood, improve self-esteem, reduce anxiety and depression, decrease stress, alleviate pain and improve sleep. All of these can greatly enhance the lifestyle of a pregnant woman, helping her enjoy the overall experience.

Yes, “do abs.” Pregnant women still have them and will benefit from strengthening them in advance of delivery.

Exercising abs and the entire core group of muscles will help prevent back and posture problems caused by the growing stomach, will make pushing more effective during labor, and will help the new mother recover quicker. For example, a pregnant mother in her second and third trimester will mainly be working her transverse abdominus, which wrap from front to back like a corset, and also the obliques. Keeping these muscles toned and active will help them to return to their pre-pregnancy state far sooner.

Abdominal exercises during pregnancy can also reduce the risk of abdominal separation, which can lead to other physical ailments.

Beforehand, be sure to research the safest types of abdominal exercise for the various trimesters and execute with proper form.

Try yoga. Yoga is not just about gaining strength and flexibility, and finding calm in moments of stress; it also helps slow down our busy lives. And, prenatal yoga is a very safe form of exercise. Executed with the use of props to support the pregnant woman as baby grows, the mother can maintain the standard yoga poses but in a modified way. Prenatal yoga also teaches the powerful connection of breath and movement, encouraging the woman to let go of tension trigger points in her body. All of these elements combine to cultivate a deeper understanding of how the woman’s body moves and what she can do to relax in an uncomfortable situation, both physically and mentally. Many of the elements of a prenatal yoga class can be utilized by the mother as she moves through labor and delivery, including poses to ease labor pains, breathing techniques, and meditation.

Cardiovascular exercise is a-okay. The old theory of not allowing

your heart rate to exceed 140 beats per minute is no longer supported by the medical community. There is about a 50 percent increase in blood flow when a women is pregnant, so the heart works much harder to deliver all of these nutrients throughout the body and especially to the placenta. While a pregnant woman who is exercising may tire out more quickly, there is no evidence that such exertion is harmful to her baby. The

general rule of thumb is if a pregnant woman can continue to carry on a conversation while performing an exercise routine, she is in a cardiovascular safe zone.

Set a fitness mantra. A mantra is a positive intention—a word or phrase that you come back to daily to “check in” and be reminded that everything is okay and on course. Setting a mantra will help you to trust your body, and accept the physical changes that are occurring. It can help to quiet down the ego and encourage you to slow down and even accept the temporary fitness limitations.

This is a key lesson to reiterate throughout pregnancy and can help to keep the pregnant woman safe while exercising. Some mantras are, “I accept,” “I trust,” and “I am strong.”

These positive reminders carry throughout the pregnancy and the birth of the baby.

Massage to recover faster. A carefully delivered massage from a prenatal massage specialist can alleviate pain in various parts of the body that can be caused by too much physical activity—exercise and otherwise. Massage stretches and loosens muscles that become tight as baby grows and the woman’s body changes. Massage will also benefit the pregnant woman as it relieves tension. A pregnant woman’s low back pain, headaches, sciatica, and swelling can all be eased by a trained massage therapist. When her body feels better, she is able to continue to keep herself healthy with regular exercise.

Meditate to de-stress. Meditating can connect to a mantra you set or simply help to quiet down, clear your mind, calm your nervous system and regulate your blood pressure. When employed in combination with a fitness regime, a pregnant woman can reap the rewards of both physical and emotional health. Pregnant women can quiet down fears and release them through the practice of meditation. When the mother lets go of fear, it opens her up to having a positive pregnancy and birth. Labor and delivery are certainly a physical experience, but many women say it is 90 percent mental.

Allowing oneself to move inward and “step out of your own way” gives the body permission to do exactly what it knows how to do: birth a baby! Meditation enables the mom-to-be to mentally surrender while exercise gives her physical strength and confidence.

Prenatal lifestyle expert Amy Griffith is the star of her own “Active Prenatal Yoga” Workout DVD.

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Family turning life around

By Lucinda Kay

L

Photos by Robin Merlino

auren Merlino can light up a room with her smile; it’s a grin that almost hurts your cheek muscles if you hold it too long.

Today she’s a scientist. A musician.

She’s a young woman with her own vision and a serious to-do list.

“A year ago, I never would have believed that I would be where I am today. In my mind it was flat out impossible. End of story.”

Who knew that the kid with dark hair tightly pulled back in a pony-tail and a grumpy posture would fill space with joy, and would go on to put her considerable talents toward saving the planet.

Her circle of supporters knew. They invested love, time and money—and she’s proving them right.

A couple of years ago, she entered a bad space, “rock bottom” as she describes it, physically and mentally.

A connective tissues disorder, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) causes injuries, pain, and fatigue. A lifechanging car wreck. Dropped out of college. Angry. Confused. Defiant.

Entitled. Her parents had no control over her behavior: “I couldn’t even get myself out of bed. It all seemed pointless, hopeless.”

But 19-year-old Lauren Merlino is writing a new chapter for her life in Coeur d’Alene. From the high rises of D.C. to the Selkirk Mountains of Idaho . . . she lost her way in the humidity of concrete, but found herself among the sweet-smelling spruce.

She credits her turnaround to the Echo Springs Transition Study Center, a program for young adults in Bonners Ferry and Coeur d’Alene. “I graduated this January! It was very exciting,” Lauren says as she bounces on her toes. “They didn’t give up on me. They held me accountable. They forced me to become more self-aware, to learn how to manage my anxiety and anger, they taught me how to cope and even cook!” These are bright kids who got turned around, walked down some rocky terrain, and probably forgot everything they’d learned in kindergarten. Many of these young adults land in therapeutic wilderness programs, or therapeutic boarding

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schools, or rehab, or even their parents’ basements.

Echo Springs is called “after care.” For the past 21 years, the team at Echo Springs has helped young adults maneuver their struggles, find their passions, and learn how to live independently. Through the classes, mentoring, community involvement and college academics, and a lot of dialogue, these students learn to pay their own way, earning character, discipline, and direction.

Echo Springs founder and director Doug Kim-Brown praises Lauren and her hard work. “Lauren arrived just over a year ago as a defeated, frustrated and confused young woman. Today she is a paid member of the North Idaho College (NIC) pep band, a tutor, an employee of food services, a full-time student and member of Phi Theta Kappa. We are delighted and proud.”

In addition to the pep band, Lauren thrives as part of the NIC Wind Symphony; out of about 90 musicians just a few dozen are high school and college students.

Lauren plays saxophone, mainly tenor.

“For me, it’s one of the coolest ways to be a part of this community,” she says. “I think music really brings people together.

I love it; we work hard, laugh harder, and make beautiful, exciting music for the whole community to hear.”

Lauren recently won a coveted, very rare, paid internship through the IDeA Network for Biomedical Research Excellence (INBRE) Program. She

applied to lead lab research involving the environmental programs in Coeur d’Alene. The overall goal is to give students interested in science the opportunity to apply their classroom knowledge to the real world.

This story is now about a girl who is eager to put her science knowledge to good use and impact our every day lives.

“There are tons of quality control problems in the local water systems that need all the help they can get,” says Lauren. “I am guaranteed 400 hours of research time and I’ll experience what a career in environmental science can look like. On top of that, they pay me. I mean I would do this as a volunteer in a heartbeat. Does it get any better?”

Yes, it does.

Coeur d’Alene and the federal government will benefit from Lauren’s research, Echo Springs can claim another success story, and we predict Lauren will join a long list of musically inclined scientists . . . or scientifically inclined musicians.

Just to name a few:  Brian May, Ph.D in astrophysics, greatest guitarist of Queen  Tom Scholz, MIT Mechanical Engineer, founder of Boston  Art Garfunkel, close to a doctorate in mathematics, half of Simon and Garfunkel  Diane Nalini de Kerckhov, D.Phil in Materials Science - Oxford, jazz diva  Lauren Merlino, soon to be scientist, rockstar saxophonist Lauren’s courage to change the direction of her own life will impact thousands, maybe millions, over the course of her lifetime.

End of story? Hardly. This is just the beginning.

For more information on Echo Springs, visit www.echo-springs.com.

Lucinda Kay is a communications coach and consultant with Let It Shine Media. She is currently consulting Echo Springs Transition Study Center and gets to watch the students blossom right before her eyes.

She can be reached at Lucinda@ lucindakay.com or (509) 280-6237.

May_June 2014

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Family health

The

Cancer Vaccine

By Cynthia Fine

Moms take care of and protect their children in a thousand ways. Gardasil, the vaccine that prevents cancer caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), is another tool parents have in their arsenal to keep their kids healthy. The Gardasil vaccine is available from many pediatricians and primary care providers as well as Planned Parenthood healthcare centers. In most cases, the cost of the vaccine is covered by insurance or other programs. There may be a fee for the injection.

Human papillomavirus is sometimes called the common cold of sex.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, HPV is so common that nearly all sexually active men and women get it at some point in their lives. In most cases, HPV goes away on its own and does not cause any health problems, but when it doesn’t, it can cause genital warts or certain types of cancer. HPV is easily transmitted through sexual contact with someone who has the virus and it can be passed on even when an infected person has no signs or symptoms.

Anyone who is sexually active can get HPV, even if they’ve had sex with only one person, and symptoms may not develop until years after exposure.

Fortunately, parents have one less thing to worry about when their kids are vaccinated with Gardasil. Like all other vaccines, it prevents infection and works

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best when given before there is any contact with the virus. Boys and girls as young as nine can receive the vaccine.

It is given as three injections over six months and is very safe and effective.

Young adults who are already sexually active can still benefit from Gardasil.

That’s because even if they’ve been exposed to HPV, they may not have been exposed to the specific types of the virus prevented by the vaccine. Gardasil could still help protect against the relevant HPV types to which one hasn’t been exposed.

A few other things to know: • Routine screening for cervical cancer is recommended for women 21 to 65 years old even if they’ve had the vaccine.

About 4,000 women die each year in the U.S. of cervical cancer and virtually all of these deaths are preventable.

• There is no routine HPV screening for men, but HPV is linked to some rare types of cancer in men. When used consistently and correctly, condoms help protect against HPV. • If you have questions, for yourself or for your child, talk to your family doctor, or go to www.plannedparenthood.org for more information.

Cynthia Fine is the Community Health Educator for Planned Parenthood of Greater Washington and North Idaho.

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Family book review

Peace Polly From Pluto Young Penelope discovers a new friendship with a child from another world. Penelope quickly learns there are many qualities that make Polly unique, but it is within her mirrored teeth where Penelope learns the most meaningful of all.

This is a story to teach children that no matter where we come from or what we look like we all want to live a happy life and deserve kindness. Author Devi Fournier’s inspiration for the story came from her own daughter when she asked what people were like on Pluto. “Since my daughter considered Plutonians as people it made it easy to identify with them as a living being. So I told her they were probably a great deal like humans in that we all want to be happy, we don’t like feeling sad and that we appreciate it when other people are kind to us. But then I took it one step further by creating Polly’s mirrored teeth. My thought was—and still is—that if a person could see their own reflection when speaking to you then perhaps they would be more mindful of harmful words and threatening body language. I don’t think anyone wants to think of themselves as unkind, and I certainly believe that if people could actually see themselves being hurtful they would regret it more readily and hopefully this would alter their unkind behavior. This is a lesson for all of us regardless of age, but the more we promote and talk with our kids about the vital importance of kindness to humanity and the acceptable or unacceptable way we treat each other, the more they will be empowered to stand up for themselves and others as they navigate their lives.”

Available at Hastings in Coeur d’ Alene and Amazon.com.

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Family app

Urgent

Call App

Imagine missing the most important call of your life. The founder and creator of the latest advancement in emergency preparedness missed that call when his father had a heart attack while he was sound asleep. This crisis inspired the creation of Urgent Call, a service created to make sure you are available to your loved ones when they need you most. In today’s “always accessible” world, silencing our cell phones every once in a while is absolutely necessary, whether it’s for a good night’s sleep, an important business meeting/conference, a night out at the movies or just to relax/disconnect. Urgent Call allows you to do just that while resting assured that in the event of an emergency your loved ones and people who depend on you most are able to contact you.

Urgent Call is the answer to the uneasy feeling we all experience when we put our phones on silent. That nagging worry of “What if there’s an emergency? What if my child has an allergic reaction? What if my wife goes into labor? What if something happens at my child’s school? What if my son or daughter is in an accident?”

Disconnect with peace of mind that should an emergency arise, your loved ones can reach you. For more information, visit www.urgentcalltech.com.

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Family health

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What to Do When You Suspect Child Abuse

T

he news reports are as shocking as they are relentless: An Army sergeant in Maryland charged with first-degree child abuse, accused of starving, beating and burning her 4-year-old stepdaughter.

A North Carolina Child Protective Services supervisor and her husband, a nurse, arrested after their 11-year-old foster son is found handcuffed to a porch railing with a dead chicken tied around his neck.

Three malnourished sisters in Arizona, ages 12, 13 and 17, kept locked in their bedrooms for up to two years. Neighbors reported they sometimes heard children’s voices at the house at night, but never saw anyone during the day.

“These are just a few of the most recent stories you’ll find about child abuse around the country,” says Rayne Golay, a mental health counselor, children’s advocate, and award-winning author of a newly published novel, The Wooden Chair, which she hopes will prompt witnesses to speak up about suspected abuse and neglect.

“These cases remind us that child abusers can look like upstanding members of society. They can be your very nice neighbor, a trusted professional, the guy at the grocery store.”

In the case of the Army sergeant, Rayne notes that an observant schoolteacher spoke up about her concerns, which led to the arrest of the child’s stepmother. The three sisters in Arizona, however, were not discovered until the two youngest girls escaped after their stepfather kicked in their bedroom door and threatened them with a knife.

“Neighbors said they’d heard children at night, but never saw them,” Rayne says. “Wouldn’t you call that suspicious?”

She offers these suggestions for recognizing and reporting suspected child abuse.

• Don’t be afraid to be wrong. You don’t need to have hard evidence or proof of child abuse or neglect to report your concerns. If you’re wrong, social workers and investigators will soon discover that and close the case. It might be uncomfortable for the alleged abuser and he or

509.795.2030 she may get angry. But you can report anonymously, and it’s far better to risk someone taking offense or social workers finding no evidence of abuse than for a child to suffer because no one speaks up.

• Actions often speak volumes. Does a young child cringe, raise an arm defensively or try to hide when her mother turns to her? These behaviors can be the reflexive response of a child who’s frequently hit.

Do you know a child who has become withdrawn, had a persistent loss of appetite, or started doing poorly in school? Changes in behavior may signal a variety of emotional problems, including abuse and neglect. What about witnessing an adult lose their patience with a child at a store or other public place in a manner that seems over-the-top? If it appears to be an emergency, call 911, Rayne says. Otherwise, try to defuse the situation.

“You might smile at the parent and say something like, ‘It can be so hard to bring kids shopping. I remember it well.’ Scolding or criticizing will only make the situation worse, but attention and understanding words may calm the person.”

• How to report your concerns? If you want to talk to a professional crisis counselor before making a report, call Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, (800) 4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). While counselors cannot file a report for you, they can answer your questions, provide information about resources, and discuss the situation that has drawn your concern. The hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To report abuse, each state has a tollfree number; find the list at www.tinyurl. com/ReportChildAbuse. If you witness a situation that requires an immediate law enforcement response, call 911.

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“Whatever you do,” says Rayne, “do something.”

“We’re all very aware of child abuse and neglect, but still, most people continue to hang back and say or do nothing when they have concerns,” she says. “This is not acceptable. We all have a duty to keep our children safe.”

Rayne E. Golay is a certified drug and alcohol counselor whose work with addicts informs her understanding and insights into the consequences of child abuse. She hopes that this story inspires witnesses to speak up for children they suspect are suffering from any form of abuse or neglect.

irenedahlart.com | 509.328.1951 May_June 2014

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Ballet Arts Academy

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Summer Workshop 2014 For the Very Young Ages 4 and 5 Creative Movement and Pre-Ballet June 17 - June 26

Intermediate and Advanced Summer workshops also available.

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The Ballet School where students get the highest level of training (Ballet, Modern, Pilates) 109 W. Pacific Ave Spokane, WA 99201

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Family health New Lice Device

Promises to Rid the Region of the Nasty Little Creatures Brianne Ball, an Idaho teacher, is responsible for bringing the FDACleared AirAllé device to the Coeur d’Alene and Spokane area. The medical device is the first of its kind—it dehydrates and kills head lice and their eggs in a one-time, non-toxic treatment, using only heated air.

The AirAllé device was developed by biologists at the University of Utah.

Brianne is a trained operator of the device, and her mobile business—Northwest Lice Treatment—is changing the way many in our communities think about treating head lice.

“My clientele is definitely growing—mostly by word of mouth. So often I hear: ‘I wish I knew about you before I spent hundreds of dollars trying to get rid of this myself!’” says Brianne.

Brianne explains that head lice are becoming resistant to many of the chemicals in regular treatments.

“My clients have often already tried self-treating, but when they come and see me, they still have healthy robust lice crawling around on their heads, because lice are not responding to the toxins.”

She knows it doesn’t have to be this way, which is why she felt passionate about making the device available in Northern Idaho and Spokane. She has been working with families, local sports teams, and local schools. As an elementary school teacher, Brianne knows too well the issues that come with head lice in the classroom.

“Parents and schools are under a lot of pressure to deal with this issue. It causes students to miss class, parents to miss work, and we need a safe, fast solution,” she says.

Now that the device is here, and business is growing, she has a new mission— to educate.

“I treated one woman who had head lice for a year,” Brianne says. “It should never have to be this way. We need to start understanding head lice, so we can take care of the problem.”

For more information, call (208) 818-1644 or visit www.northwestlicetreatment.com.

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If they only knew MY FAIRY-TALE marriage didn’t turn out as planned, and neither did my divorce.

Even as I gazed into my husband’s empty stare explaining my imminent and permanent departure, I blithely imagined cleanly split bank accounts, the routine exchange of offspring with a friendly nod, and the hope that someday our blended families could sit around a table together with us sharing inside jokes that our new spouses would never understand. That was my hope.

Instead, I awoke from my delusion to emptied bank accounts, broken restraining orders and other events not yet ready to be recounted. And when my children’s father went on to battle his internal demons alone, my friendly divorce fantasy and our two beautiful boys were left in a cloud of reality; we haven’t seen him since.

And my youngest son thinks his dad is “amazing.”

Amazing. This is the word my son used one recent night, with tears streaming down his face. It was not the first time I explained to him, in the midst of his pain and disappointment, that he is a great kid. If his dad was not ready to be his dad again, it was his dad that needed fixing, not my son.

After a few quiet moments of palpable contemplation, he said, “Well I think he is amazing.” Say what?

“Who’s amazing?” I inquired, not quite sure how this word made its way into a conversation about the man who had all but disappeared from my sons’ lives.

“My dad. I still think he is amazing.”

The words soared from lips that resemble mine, propelled with clarity and conviction from eyes that look like his father’s.

I was mystified by the lack of logic in his statement. His dad has been gone for a year and half while I’ve been left to pick up the pieces of a broken home, broken hearts and several broken pictures with my face cut out. He’s amazing?

I’m the one working 50 hours a week to pay all the bills, including a Minecraft subscription for this ten-year-old’s game that I still don’t understand—this is Legos on a computer monitor, right? Wasn’t it I who, at the first sight of some chin hair, plopped a fancy razor and a can of shaving cream into the vanity drawer and instructed his big brother to “Google how to do it” when

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he was ready? And how often do I let this turncoat watch AdventureTime in sacrifice of The Real Housewives; okay, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at least, not Atlanta, I love that one.

The point is that I’m the one who slurps the latest smoothie concoction with these boys as we pick banana chunks from each other’s hair. And I drive the three of us to various destinations, tolerating very oppositional musical tastes; this most often results in two sets of ear buds defiantly being pulled out as I triumphantly sing along to Huey Lewis. And it is I, the single, superhero mom who makes sure her face lights up every time she sees her boys and ends every night always humbled by and forever grateful for their lingering embraces.

And as I sat there, stunned by the absurdity of this beautiful boy’s statement, I found myself feeling moved . . . and sorry for his dad. I wondered if his dad fully realizes the magnitude of his own loss, made up of a thousand moments like these.

Does he even know that after all the transgressions and all the hurt, how much this perfect boy still loves him, idolizes him, and sees him as amazing? This little boy, not yet completely jaded by a raw hand dealt to him, still has hope.

Maybe I deserve the title amazing, maybe I don’t, but I hear it in different ways every day. I hear, “No Mom, I really do like the smoothie—ummmm, eh, is this kale?”

And, “OK, that song was decent.” And every once in a while, “Thank you, Mom, thank you for everything.”

“Honey, that’s a nice thing to say,” I finally replied as I wiped a tear from his cheek.

And I meant it. And it is okay that it is not about me. I wasn’t the one who needed to hear it.

“If They Only Knew” is an anonymous guest column featuring essays from the “snapshot” life moments of courage and perseverance in Spokane Coeur d’Alene women.

If you would like to share a moment of your life when you thought, “If They Only Knew,” send an email to stephanie@spokanecda. com or mail a hard copy to our editor, Stephanie Regalado, at 104 S. Freya, Ste 209, Spokane, WA 99202.

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