2019 Savoirflair Magazine Pride

savoirflair COMPLIMENTARY COPY

VOL. 11

NO. 1

NEW ENGLAND’S LGBTQ MAGAZINE

OUR

Favorite

PHOTOS LGBTQ

WEDDING

CEREMONIES

MY

FANTASY

KITCHEN

RESPECTFUL AND PROUD LGBTQ PRIDE ETIQUETTE

STEVEN DELGAIZO SELF DRIVING CAR DEVELOPER

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CONTENTS FAVORITE PHOTOS | BEST LOVED COLLECTION 22 OUR

BY ERIN WEAVER AND PROUD | PRIDE ETIQUETTE 28 BYRESPECTFUL CHLOE BELLE FANTASY KITCHEN | DREAM ROOM 36 MY

BY JEFF PARSON STYLE | SELECT YOUR STYLE 42 BYJEWELRY NICHOLAS MCCARTY | LGBTQ WEDDINGS 46 CEREMONIES

BY SHARON LEVINE DELGAIZO 54 STEVEN BYÂ KATE OPALEWSKI

BOSTON PROVINCETOWN NORTHAMPTON PROVIDENCE MASSACHUSETTS CONNECTICUT MAINE VERMONT NEW HAMPSHIRE RHODE ISLAND 6 savoirflairmagazine

| SELF DRIVING CAR DEVELOPER

EVERY ISSUE 10 FILM /TV OF INTEREST LGBTQ BINGE WATCHING 14 BOOKS WHEN BROOKLYN WAS QUEER HEADCASE SISSY; A COMING OF GENDER STORY LONG LIVE THE TRIBE OF FATHERLESS GIRLS FLAUNT IT—COMMUNITY FRIENDLY BUSINESS 32 FRAMERS’ WORKSHOP | 41 HARVARD ART & FRAMING 36 HOME KITCHENS

61 MARKETPLACE SERVICE DIRECTORY

COMMUNITY OWNED AND FRIENDLY SERVICES

PUBLISHER Mary Kennedy EDITOR Sharon Levine EDITORIAL CONSULTANT Nicholas McCarty WRITERS Wendy Mimran | Mark Adams | Jeff Parson | Chloe Belle Kate Opalewski | John Axelrod | Terri Schlichenmeyer | Erin Weaver SALES Rena Berman, Sales Director Wendy Mimran, Sales Development Manager Sharon Levine | Nicholas McCarty | Mark Davis | Mark Gagnon Michael Bishop PRODUCTION Jenna Simon | Louis Chavez, Intern | Shorty Kennedy, Intern Orella DeVille | Cleo Marie | Kwame Byrd | Pixie Chavez; Proof Reader PHOTOGRAPHY COVER: Photograher Bevan Goldswain, Ailaimages London, United Kingdom, Wedding photography Kristin Maria DISTRIBUTION Eagle Distribution | Crevier Distribution | CTM Distribution | Breakaway ADVERTISING INFORMATION All inquires may be addressed to KP Media, 333 Washington St. #714 Boston, MA 02108 (617) 423-1515, e-mail: kpmedia@aol.com ©2019 All Rights Reserved. M. Kennedy Publishing, Inc. SavoirFlair may not be reproduced in part or whole without the written permission of the publisher. Advertising content is the sole responsibility of individual advertisers.

ADVERTISERS PARTICIPATING IN THIS GUIDE ARE NOT NECESSARILY GAY / LESBIAN, BUT OPENLY WELCOME THE COMMUNITY. Printed in Canada with Green Technology

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Q T B I B N GE WATCHING G L

Above: Actor/writer Ryan O'Connell with Jessica Hecht playing Ryan’s mother Karen in “Special” a semi-autobiographical series, a twenty-something gay man who has a mild case of Cerebral Palsy.

By Mark Adams Let me begin by stating the obvious: There is nothing fun about being confined to your sick-sofa while enduring the ravages of a Summer flu. You, of course, did get the required flu shot several months ago, but, as Dr. Quackenbush told me in that cute way of his, "It'll only last three-to-five days." Easy for him to say, as seven to ten days later, you've seen more porcelain than one should see in a lifetime. To say nothing of having to watch far too many episodes of that know it all, busy body from Cabot Cove, solving murders in that Little Fishing Village in Maine. Wouldn't you think that, after a decade or so of utter mayhem, someone in that town would realize that the reason Ms. Fletcher knows so much, is that she is, indeed, the perpetrator of all these crimes.

Lock her up, I say. But I digress.The thing is, the new way to survive the recovery period is binge watching. According to Wikipedia, “where you can find everything,” be it correct or not, “the usage was popularized with the advent of on demand viewing and online streaming.” In 2013, the word burst into mainstream use when Netflix started releasing episodes of its serial programming simultaneously. How did we survive without it, I ask you rhetorically. You can binge watch episodes of old series or you can binge-watch new stuff; doesn't matter. And not just on Netflix, but Hulu, Amazon you name it. Gone are the days of having to wait a week to find out what happened, assuming you can even remember back that far. I couldn't live without it and on day four of my illness, I suspected I would not . Never tried it? You don't need a diagnosis from Quackenbush to get started. Here are a few goodies.

10 savoirflairmagazine

"Sex Education" , there's a title to start with. I saw it and figured, well, another teenage series that belongs on the CW, maybe with a little stronger language. But Gillian Anderson ("The X-Files") is in it. How bad can it be. Well, one episode and I was hooked. Anderson plays a divorcee who is a sex therapist, living with her 16 year-old sexually-repressed son played delightfully by cutie Asa Butterfield, who you might remember as the young man in the strange but wonderful 2011 film "Hugo." Sure, it's a coming of age story, but it is so well written which deals with some serious subjects, very sexual, and the mostly unknown cast is superb. It is British, but you won't need the closed captions. You'll binge right through the 8, 52 minute episodes in no time. Well, not no time, because it will take you 8 X 52. There will be a series two later this year, and I can't wait. It's on Netflix.

If you're like a friend of mine who just can't commit to any show over 22 minutes, then you'll be in heaven with a couple of other binge worthy gems. Check out "Special." When I first saw the title, I thought it was yet another of those dumb standup comedy specials that I usually can take for about 5 minutes or less, but the "Special" of the title refers to the condition of the lead actor. Actor/writer Ryan O'Connell is the star of this semi-autobiographical series, a twenty something gay man who has a mild case of Cerebral Palsy. He lives with his divorced mother (must be a tv thing these days), who has devoted her life to caring for him. He has decided it's time to get out on his own. I cannot begin to praise this series enough. It is probably the gayest show ever, and yet, not really. You would never and they may have even tried to find a broadcast network that would air this. And not just because of the sex scenes, which are warm and touching (pardon the pun). The series currently gets a 93 rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and it deserves even more. Oh, did I say I like it? Jim Parsons is an executive producer on this; there are eight episodes, each running no more than 15 minutes, and feel free to commit to this, because

The commander of the allied Grounder clans, Lexa from “The 100” by CW

"Bonding." is about a gay man, who goes into "business" with his best friend, who happens to be a dominatrix.

they've already commissioned a second series.

Next you'll want to dig into, so to speak, the series titled "Bonding." This one's about a gay man, down on his luck, who goes into business with his best friend, who happens to be a dominatrix.The laughs ensue. Perhaps a bit more controversial than the previous two series, it is well-done, funny and thoughtful, and gets an equally high rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It is seven episodes, also around 15 minutes each. If you have your doubts, you might want to click on the website of Danielle Blunt, who is a dominatrix in NYC, as she gives her mixed opinion on the series.

I do want to throw out some kind words for the CW network.

The over the air broadcaster takes a lot of abuse, but they’re on top of things when it comes to diversity. I started watching “Riverdale,” as I was always a fan of the Archie comics on which the show is based. Little did I know that this interpretation would be about as far from the strips of old as they could get. Reggie gay? Jughead having an affair with Betty? Lesbians?

Who knew? I stopped watching the fascinating “The 100” series for no other reason than there’s just too much good stuff out there and I had to sleep and work for at least a couple of hours a day. It was just before the series 3 appearance of Lexa.

As portrayed by Alycia Debnam-Darey, she is the commander of the allied Grounder Clans, and is a strong warrior who considers love a weakness, which I guess wasn’t helped much by the death of her girlfriend Costia. Follow that? The youngsters love it.

Keep the Kleenex handy, drink a lot of Gatorade, enjoy the show. And feel better I already do.

Mark Adams has been a popular contributor to LGBTQ Media for many years, writing extensively on film and video of interest to the community. You can email him at vidioview@gmail.com with any of your favorites for a future scribbling savoirflairmagazine 11

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Book Review x 5

Book Review x 5 REVIEWS

by Terri Schlichenmeyer

“When Brooklyn Was Queer” by Hugh Ryan c.2019, St. Martin’s Press | $29.99 / $38.99 Canada | 308 pages Your city sure has changed. Landmarks were destroyed, the skyline is different, and streets are shifted in a way that feels same-notsame. It’s like having dinner with a relative you met once, when you were nine: as in “When Brooklyn Was Queer” by Hugh Ryan, everything and nothing is familiar. Once upon a time, Brooklyn was little more than farms and fields.

That’s the vista Walt Whitman saw when he stepped beyond the boundaries of the city where he’d been creating his Leaves of

14 savoirflairmagazine

Grass. He loved the area, a love he shared with laborers, pros-

While this is a history of Brooklyn, specifically, and New York,

titutes, and the rest of the crime-ridden, mostly-white popula-

in general, we’re taken to other cities and cultures to see how

tion of Brooklyn in the mid-1800s.

worldwide changes impacted Brooklyn’s residents. Like the in-

As a gay man, Whitman would have noted upcoming changes.

ner workings of a clock, tiny facts turn larger events that be-

In 1883, the Brooklyn Bridge opened, making it easy for resi-

come part of a big picture for readers to see.

dents to reach New York City. There, male and female imper-

Unlike many books, this one doesn’t ignore anyone in the LG-

sonators found work at live entertainment venues, where

BTQ initialism; all are mentioned here and given due diligence.

race mattered little; and sexes and social classes mixed freely

For readers searching for a fun, fascinating, all-encompassing

at saloons, concert halls, dancehalls, and theatres. For African

history, “When Brooklyn Was Queer” is a nice change.

By the time Brooklyn merged with The Bronx, Queens, Manhat-

“An Indefinite Sentence: A Personal History of Outlawed Love and Sex”

by Siddharth Dube

tan, and Staten Island in January 1898, a new word had emerged.

c.2015, 2019, Atria Books | $28.00 / $37.00 Canada | 376 pages

“Homosexuals” had been targeted by obscenity charges for

Coming out was difficult enough. Even if everyone supported

quite some time then but, though laws were created against

you and very little changed, you changed; still, though you had

them, they had a solid presence in mainstream society. Even so,

doubts and fear, it was something you had to do. Now read

says Ryan, most people didn’t learn much about homosexuals

the new book “An Indefinite Sentence” by Siddharth Dube and

American actors, that relative permissiveness led to more acceptance and sometimes, fame.

until World War I.

continues on next page

And yet – people couldn’t get enough of “queer” folk, especially with cabaret shows, vaudeville, and “freak shows” so wildly popular and a subway ride to Coney Island costing just a nickel.

New Yorkers flocked to the boardwalk, perhaps titillated by the idea that the performers were “gay.”

But “things started to go off the rails” for the LGBTQ community at the end of World War II. Being gay was perceptually equal to a crime. Starting then, says Ryan, “…the vibrant queer histories of places outside Manhattan would soon be forgotten.”

Reading “When Brooklyn Was Gay” is something like frosting a cake. From the starting point of a poet and a wharf full of sailors, readers glide smoothly to wood-floor dancehalls; sweeping near audacious lesbian actors, scandal rags, legal fights, burly-Q stages, then to the Jazz Age and beyond. Each spot is covered, sprinkled with asides, personal anecdotes from author Hugh Ryan, and modern references to create connections, then gently folded into the next subject.

What may delight readers the most, though, is in the details. savoirflairmagazine 15

Book Reviews continued from previous page

matter-of-fact way that still feels like a slap. Dube shares his life

imagine what it might’ve been like coming out but knowing that

and his travels by mixing shades of his faith along with tales of

it’s dangerous.

men he loved platonically and otherwise, female sex workers

When Siddharth Dube was ten years old, he saw a dancer who

who bore the most blame on the spread of disease, and the

was lovely, curvy, and sultry, and who pulled off her skirt with

politics of and attitudes toward AIDS around the world. This,

a flourish at the end, revealing herself as a man. The memory,

too, is told with outraged mindfulness that feels like a burning

the surprise, stuck with him – in part, perhaps, because he had

torch wrapped up in tranquility.

known for two years then that he “was a girly-boy…”

Readers searching for something different this week can end

No one much cared about that while he was young and growing

their search with this book. It’s stirring and calming, funny and

up in relative affluence near Calcutta. He was “a carefree child,”

sad; start “An Indefinite Sentence,” and you’ll have no difficulty

unashamed of his “undefined gender,” but that disappeared: as a

enjoying it.

preteen, he was enrolled in a private academy and was bullied

“Headcase: LGBTQ Writers and Artists on Mental Health and Wellness,”

for being “sissy,” despite a school culture that allowed boys to demand sex from other boys. At that time, and for most of Dube’s youth, there was nothing available in India “to help a young man… deal with his… homosexuality.” He felt “hatred” from his peers and neighbors and from his own father, who strongly urged Dube to leave India to attend college in America.

In the U.S., though, Dube found that “hatred for homosexuality

edited by Stephanie Schroeder &

was many magnitudes greater than in India.”

And yet – seeing gay life in a more permissive country was liberating. Dube patronized a gay bar for the first time, finally

Teresa Theophano

found the love he sought, and discovered his passion for careers in journalism and activism on the subject of AIDS, the people affected by the disease, and the world’s attitude toward it. That began a journey that ultimately took him back to his home country, where he settled in with “one of the greatest loves of my adult life” although, because gay sex was illegal in India, doing so was dangerous.

Months after they moved, Dube discovered just how dangerous…

Take that as a warning: that little bombshell arrives all too early inside “An Indefinite Sentence.” By the time it does, you’ll be lulled into a veil of serenity.

That is due completely to the prose with which author Siddharth Dube tells his story: it’s soft and formal but with elegant slang and a very surprising willingness to use profanity in a

16 savoirflairmagazine

c.2019, Oxford University Press | $29.95/$36.95 Canada | 287 pages

You had a flu shot this year. You watch your cholesterol, eat better, stay active, and brush twice a day. So why do you feel so rotten? In “Headcase,” edited by Stephanie Schroeder and Teresa Theophano, you’ll see that taking care of your mind is as essential as taking care of your body.

If someone on the street saw you today, he might think you were at the peak of health. He can’t see what’s inside, though.

“Real or perceived minority status and… disenfranchisement make us vulnerable to being labeled as sick,” say Schroeder and Theophano. In other words, living as a member of the LGBTQ community may affect your mental health. Furthermore, Christian Huygen, one of the contributors to this book, says, “Re-

Book Reviews search shows that, while LGBTQ people seek mental health-

tute for a doctor. It’s got subtle advice, but it’s not a therapist.

care more often than our non-LGBTQ counterparts, we are

If you need direction, it’s worth a shot.

more likely to leave care prematurely…”

with Recipes) is a book you’ll want to take with you.

“Sissy:

Today, therapy is easier to get, if you feel hopeless or empty

A Coming-of-

but not all practitioners understand LGBTQ health issues.

Gender Story”

Mainstream healthcare has only relatively recently decided that homosexuality was not a disease in need of a “cure.” Too

by Jacob Tobia

many healthcare practitioners don’t understand that insurance

c.2019, Putnam |

is sometimes iffy. Never mind those who believe “conversion

$26.00 /$35.00 Canada

therapy” is the right “fix.”

336 pages

Have we evolved, when it comes to mental wellness for the

Nobody can tell you what

LGBTQ community? You might think so, after reading the

to do. To think otherwise

chapters here: of a lesbian who received comfort from a thera-

is tantamount to telling

pist when her long-time friend wouldn’t stop bringing religion

you what not to do. No,

up. Of veterans who no longer have to conceal their sexual-

you have your own mind,

ity. On fitting in with the local Mom’s Group when you’re the

and you’ll make it up just fine by yourself. Nobody tells you

only “queer” mother and, by the way, you’ve already conquered

what to do and, as in the new memoir “Sissy: A Coming-of-

postpartum depression. On being a lesbian daughter of a les-

Gender Story” by Jacob Tobia, they can’t tell you who you are,

bian mother who was hospitalized against her will decades ago,

either.

only because she dared love another woman.

Many people who are non-binary, says Tobia, equate coming to

“Mental illness can be scary for anyone,” says writer Lance

terms with gender as “a journey.” Tobias considers theirs “more

Hicks. “… you choose between asking for help, knowing you’re

like an onion,” with layers of discovery “veiled beneath a thin

being judged, or suffering alone.” That latter option doesn’t

skin.”

sound like so much of an option, does it? No, and “Headcase,”

It started with Tobia’s parents, both role models: their mother,

a title that comes from “reclamation” of a negative word, takes

who was a tomboy at heart; and their father, who ignored ste-

a real-life look at the first parts of Hicks’s sentiments: mental

reotypical women’s work and instead, pitched in around the

health, mental help, and the history of it all within the LGBTQ

house. The next layer consists of Tobia’s brother and kids in

community. What you’ll learn won’t come easy, though.

the neighborhood who didn’t think twice about a child who

There are several distinct kinds of chapters inside “Head-

play-fought in the mud one minute, and loved pink tutus and

case,” some easier to read than others. Readers will find arty

Barbies the next.

things, poetry and drawings here. There are mini-memoirs of

But then Tobia started school, and the teasing began. They

relevance. You’ll find short stories, too, many of which have a

“went from being a person to being a sissy” and shame ac-

disjointed feel, as though you just wandered into a half-conver-

companied the label. When it became apparent that the taunts

sation. There are chapters that are plainly meant for physicians,

would be flung at them no matter what, Tobia considered sui-

which might not appeal to laypersons. And you’ll find history in

cide. Church was the only place they “felt unequivocally and

this book, some of which – fair warning – will chill you.

unconditionally loved.”

Overall, “Headcase” could offer comfort but it’s not a substi-

continues on next page

savoirflairmagazine 17

Book Reviews continued from previous page

but others might pity them.

Things changed for the better when puberty hit Tobia and their

Maybe, as in the new mem-

peers. Cis boys wanted desperately to be with cis girls, which

oir “Long Live the Tribe of

was something Tobia did effortlessly and it made them “cool”

Fatherless Girls” by T Kira

even as it highlighted their differences from other adolescents.

Madden, what those kids re-

By the end of high school, Tobia had chosen the word “gay” to

ally want is love.

describe themselves, even though it wasn’t quite right.

The story starts, as T Kira

They came out to a church counselor. They came out to their

Madden remembers, with a

gay best friend. Years later, they came out to their parents as

mannequin. She was only two

“gay.” It wasn’t until college, the acquisition of several pairs of

years old then, and she called

high heels, lipstick, and a sheltered sense of security that To-

him Uncle Nuke. Her mother

bia realized that their work toward understanding had only

had fished him out of the trash behind a department store,

started. Maybe they were boy and girl and neither and both,

bringing the “fancy, distinguished” plastic man home “to protect

and not having to question that would be a battle they’d “have

me,” says Madden. “Remember this.”

to do… all over again.”

When Uncle Nuke came to stay, mother and daughter lived

“Sissy” is a one-hundred-percent solid, smack-in-the-middle,

alone because Madden’s father was married and had another

okay kind of book. It’s not the best thing you’ll ever read; it’s far,

family. Even so, his wealth and extravagance meant that Mad-

far from the worst.

den had everything a girl could want: ponies, private schools,

After a considerable, two-chapter throat-clearing, author Ja-

concert tickets, and weekend jaunts to Vegas. She had plenty for

cob Tobia promises hilarity then gets down to business, about

classmates to covet, but what she really wanted was attention

their life, their experiences as a gender nonconforming person

and approval.

making their way through, and the gender-acceptance work to

That came from her parents, of course, but when she was in

be done. Yes, that may seem like a familiar story but there is

elementary school, she also had “pen pals,” grown men who

uniqueness to be had here:Tobia’s memories of their later ado-

wanted to meet her for reasons she couldn’t quite grasp. At-

lescence and attendance at a prestigious Eastern college offer

tention came from various dealers who sold to drugs members

something different in this genre, in freshness of voice. Also un-

of Madden’s family, including her parents. And attention of the

common: their willingness to admit regret for advice not taken.

wrong sort came from classmates who taunted Madden for

Finally, yes, this book is amusing but outright hilarity? Not so

her Asian heritage, her misshapen teeth, and her awkwardness.

much: you’ll enjoy “Sissy,” but your gut is in no danger of bust-

By the time Madden hit middle school, her parents were ad-

ing. Still, if memoirs are your thing and your TBR pile is short,

dicts who were absent more than not and she could never

you know what to do.

remember where they’d gone.

“Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls”

By high school, unsupervised, she was skipping school and had

by T Kira Madden

let her grades and favorite pastimes drop; drinking had become

c.2019, Bloomsbury | $27.00 / $36.00 Canada | 311 pages

a new hobby, and she and her friends pushed the limits of the

Some kids are born lucky. Those are the ones who get ev-

law nearly every day. Madden, who’d been sexually assaulted as

erything they want; sometimes, they don’t even ask, and their

a young teen, began experimenting with boys, then with girls

hearts’ desire is presented. Some might call those kids spoiled

18 savoirflairmagazine

continues on page 20

savoirflairmagazine 19

Book Reviews continued from page 18

out, in a jaw-dropping didn’t-see-it-coming whirl of quick final

because she learned “how much more I wanted them.”

chapters that feel like a volley of BBs as they hit.

And she learned a shocking truth about herself …

That end is going to leave you breathless. It’ll leave you desper-

Starting out, “Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls” is going to take some getting-use-to.The chapters aren’t exactly linear, not too chronological, and don’t seem to have much cohesion, as if

ately wanting to talk to someone about this book. If you want a memoir that’ll leave you gobsmacked, “Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls” may be your hearts’ desire.

someone drew a raggedy circle and then ripped part of it away.

The temptation may exist to put the book aside.

And yet, the near-dispassionate tone in author T Kira Madden’s memoir is irresistible, almost compelling. Despite the calmness of her words, the chaos of the world she writes about hints that there’s more to the story that we haven’t read yet – and, at the risk of spilling a secret, that’s exactly how this book turns

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OurFavoritePhotos These photos are some of our favorites from the past 10 years. As you can imagine the participants will look significantly different today. At the time many of these were groundbreaking images of our community not found anywhere else.

In 2010 Photographer Gretje Ferguson shared her wonderful photos and observations on gay men who loved being fathers.

Obviously the children in these photo look very different today, but hopefully the fathers don’t.

Above and left; Dad, Elliott at Wollaston Beach with his kids, Michael and Olivia. Gretje remarked, “ I just followed them around while they explored the beach and romped in the water. It is always a joy to see how their loving relationship is evolving.”

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In 2011, Dana Berenson of La Muse Photography made us smile with a wonderful grouping of canines, on occasion with their human family, as seen in these photos. Dana loves dogs and delighted in taking their photos. She has been rightly called the Dog Whisper.

Left; Man and his best friend, entitled; Beasly and Jay Below; Two mommies, two dogs, one cat and a baby entitled; I can’t believe I got this shot! or and baby makes six.

continues on next page

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OurFavoritePhotos continues from previous page

In 2012 we featured Photographer Martin R. Anderson’s C-Scape which is a fascinating look at a Provincetown Dune Shack. Highly acclaimed and visually riveting, these creative images give us a new perspective on these rustic Provincetown treasures. As a child Martin stayed in a shack, returning decades later with a pin hole camera to take these amazing self portraits. Obviously Martin wasn’t camera shy to the delight of our male readers.

Below; Martin poses in the doorway, The pin hole camera bends the images creating the illusion of movement.

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Above; Martin, the smallest boy, with his mother and brother vacationing in a Dune Shack as a child.

C-SCAPE, 2005 SELF PORTRAIT #4 PINHOLE

Above; A long shot of the Dune Shack with Martin bathing dune side.

Below; An intimate self protrait from the interior of the Dune Shack bedroom.

continues on next page

C-SCAPE, 2005 SELF PORTRAIT #6 PINHOLE

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OurFavoritePhotos continued from the previous page

In 2010 Photographer Michael Chunyk shared photos of these two young men, Justin and Craig. They met in Provincetown where Justin was working for the Summer.

Michael remarked, “Justin and Craig compliment each other perfectly. Their chemistry is staggering and their commitment touching.�

This fun couple were natural models, who obviously enjoyed being in front of the camera.

Above; A relaxed portrait of these two handsome young men. .

Right; A dynamic angle shot, depicting a meaningful gaze between this happy couple.

26 savoirflairmagazine

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c e t p ful s e

R BY CHLOE BELL

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Rainbow flags, rainbow balloons, rainbow dresses, and drag queens named Missy Rainbow parading down the streets … yes, it’s Pride time! Of course, as any good New Englander knows, you can celebrate Pride in this friendly pocket of the Northeast right through September, with Pride celebrations planned all the way from Worcester, MA to Portland, ME. In recent years, USA Pride marches and related celebrations have become increasingly common, particularly in smaller cities. Pride parades have also changed shape in many ways, moving from radical shows of LGBTQ unity against persecution to a more amorphous celebration of all types, all while championing the rights and protections we have gained.

Remember that Pride means something deep and historic to our community. By all means, have fun and experience Pride if you are so inclined. Pride is a great time to dress up, celebrate with LGBTQ friends, and check out vibrant parades and perfor28 savoirflairmagazine

mances. But at the same time, don’t lose sight of the fact that Pride is a deeply rooted and important time for LGBTQ folks and the broader community.

Whether you’re a Pride-parading queer or a friendly ally, here are a few things to consider about Pride: A BRIEF HISTORY As the old slogan goes, “Pride began as a riot.” In June of 1969, police raided New York City's Stonewall Inn looking to arrest patrons, and particularly those who dressed in clothing that wasn’t in line with their birth gender. Patrons resisted the raid, and it turned into a days-long uprising, with thousands of gays, lesbians, and transgender people converging on Greenwich Village in a show of support. On the anniversary of the raid, the first Pride march happened in New York City. At the time, it was still dangerous for gays, lesbians, and other queer people to make themselves visible. The threat of street violence was real, as was the possibility of being photographed

E D I ETIQ R UETTE TIPS FOR LGBTQ P and recognized—which could seriously compromise one's employment, housing, and family relationships.

Marching down the street was a radical, defiant act.

By 1972, Pride marches were taking place in cities across the country and nowadays, they are celebrated in countries all over the world. It’s been 50 years since that first march, and celebrations look very different now.

Here are a few suggestions to make Pride a wonderful event for all that attend: SUPPORT THE MARCHERS It still takes stamina! to walk the long parade route, especially for shyer members of the community and heavily costumed drag kings and queens. So show your support! Clap and cheer them on. Tell them they look awesome and thank them. And remember that while it’s generally fine to take photos, these people are working hard, so appreciate their efforts and try to stay off your phone.

TAKE THE CHANCE TO LEARN LGBTQ groups will often hand out cards and flyers during Pride. Even if you’d usually wave away a random flyer, it’s a good idea to take these offerings and try to learn from them. Research these organizations when you get home and get educated about the history of the community in your city. Even better, find out how you might contribute to work being done with LGBTQ communities so you can keep the support going after Pride is over. Attending the Pride festival is a great way to get information on the community in your city and the groups doing work there.

This is generally considered a welcoming space, so join in.

DON’T OVER DO IT Pride is an inherently happy event. If you partake in alcohol or other substances, take it easy so you can come away with great memories of the event and no regrets.You might think you know your limits, but it’s dangerous for you and unpleasant for others to see staggering, out of control individuals in a big crowd. continues on next page

savoirflairmagazine 29

Respectful + Proud continued from previous page

DRESS AS YOU LIKE, BUT APPROPRIATELY LGBTQ

You can wear whatever you want, but you’ve got to wear something! Remember that many cities and towns have ordinances on public nudity, so get to know your local laws and follow them.

Pride committee members work tirelessly every year to put on a good event, so don’t stress them out unnecessarily by making them police the crowd more than they need to. Other than that, however, you’re free to dress how you like.

It might seem like there’s a mandatory Queer Aesthetic™ (colorful dyed hair, crop tops, leather harnesses, etc.), but the only item we consider mandatory is sun-

• • • • • •

screen—make sure you protect that queer skin! Pride is a great time to step outside the box and experiment with your look, but it’s also a time to embrace who you are and wear what you’re comfortable with. Don’t worry about your style, if that’s not your thing. Whether you want to try something outrageous or go in your everyday look, you won’t be alone.

BE THOUGHTFUL Pride is an LGBTQ community space. More than anything else, it is a time for LGBTQ people to be together and celebrate our history and experiences, so be thoughtful and respect others.

“Thank you”, “Please”, and “Pardon me” can go a long way!

Wherever you celebrate and whatever you do, have a safe, happy, and enlightening Pride!

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FLAUNT IT —COMMUNITY FRIENDLY BUSINESS

Flaunt It! FRAMERS’ WORKSHOP

By Skye Hey there! This is Skye from the Framers' Workshop! I'm a picture framer here as well as the unofficial social media manager.

What is the history of Framers' Workshop?

-We’ve been open since 1976 and we’ve been cutting corners and making art look awesome ever since!

Mike Dudgeon was the one who started the business back in the 70s and really shaped it into what it continues to be today. The current owner, Justin, continued that legacy. He started working here in his early twenties, became the manager and eventually bought the company when Mike decided to retire. There's something kind of magic about this place that I think both our staff and our customers fall in love with; and I think that's why we've been able to stay around for so long. People feel at ease here, we're the best and coolest frame shop around and we do our best to take care of our customers.

How did you come up with the concept of a framing workshop?

-Back in the day there used to be a bunch of frame shops that provided this kind of service. We're the only one left in the area, so I guess you could say we did it the best!

Top left: Justin Lampka, Trevor Denman | Bottom Left: Danielle Lauretano Bottom Right: Skye DelViscio, Dani DeSteven

What types of art do you carry?

-We have a great collection of prints and framed original art by our staff, as well as rotating art from our window displays.

Who are your customers?

-We have all kinds of customers: a lot of Brookline residents, students, working artists, some people will come from all over New England to come frame here!

Do you have many LGBTQ clients?

-Definitely! We have a very diverse clientele and we try to make our space as welcoming and inclusive as possible.

How would you characterize clients versus non LGBTQ community members?

-I feel like a lot of the LGBTQ customers we've had typically are really excited about the art they're bringing in and really want to invest time into framing it up the right way. Which is great, we love our customers being as excited as we are about framing.

Tell us about your staff and what they specialize in.

-Everyone who works here is an artist of some sort; ranging from surrealist painters and photographers to illustrators and poets. And beyond that all of our staff members have different abilities and specialties when it comes to their work here. Between all of us and our customers can always find someone who can help them figure out any of their different framing projects.

32 savoirflairmagazine

FLAUNT IT —COMMUNITY FRIENDLY BUSINESS Do you have any LGBTQ staff?

-We do! Three of our cutest staff members are Bi (including the one writing out these answers).

How do you market to the LGBTQ community?

-By being in the Pink Pages! We were on the back cover this past year and it was so great seeing our ad bobbing around on the copies passed out at Boston Pride.

What are some of the newest framing trends and products in recent years?

-We've really been loving the new sequin frame line from Bella moulding, very fun.

What is the more common framing errors many people make?

-Not framing things here! Just kidding, probably structurally inefficient frames; whether that they're too small, or not made out of good materials. We do see a lot of things that come in that have broken apart and it's always tough when we have to tell a customer that something isn't salvageable.

What advice would you give someone who wants to start framing their own artwork?

-Have fun with it! Sometimes you'll be bound to what a gallery might be requiring, but when you can, pick something that complements the individual piece.

Also buy some level of UV protection when picking your glass, it's worth it!

What makes you proud of Framers' Workshop?

-We're able to provide a service that other frame stores can't. It's great being able to make framing affordable for all kinds of people.

Do you have any stories of customers that have framed with you for the first time that you'd like to share?

-It's always great having first timers in. We help people through the whole process, from design to assembly, and people end up leaving feeling very accomplished and ready to frame again when they're through.

What are some of your favorite prints or works of art?

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my fantasy kitchen | by Jeff Parson What does your dream kitchen look like? I know all about mine. Obviously, we’ve got to start with the location.

In a perfect world, my kitchen window would look out over the ocean. A view of the hypnotic waves, seagulls floating above the surf, and the vast ocean is the beginning of my fantasy. In the front, a door from the kitchen leads out to a stone patio lined with rose bushes. The subtle scent of rose drifts through the air, along with a slight ocean breeze that’s in perfect harmony with the wind chimes sweetly serenading the patio. There would be a stone fountain pond with goldfish happily swimming in the clear, fresh water, and an outdoor kitchen adjacent to a modern square table. You can also enter the backyard from the kitchen through a large set of French doors, and there you’ll find a garden full of organic herbs, fruits, and vegetables.

The kitchen would be well lit in the glorious daylight, with high open windows and a skylight (remotely operated, of course). The room simply exudes warmth. The floors are made of knotted pine wide boards with a light satin finish, which are mirrored in the vaulted bead board ceiling, and the counter tops is a light quartz.

The custom cabinets would be a comfortable light blue-gray Shaker style with a bead board inset and brushed steel cup pulls and handles. In fact, matching brushed steel would be used for all the faucets and fixtures— none of that cheesy gold which some people are so fond of. In the darker evenings, a simple wave of the hand can activate the under-cabinet LED lighting. I would also include hanging clear glass enclosed lamps with a modern flair, complete with Edison bulbs that would cast a warm hue in the evening hours. The faucet would 36 savoirflairmagazine

require another easy wave to get a medium stream of water flowing into the sink, which would be a single, deep, D-shaped bowl. No farmhouse sinks or doubles for me. Simple and functional works best, maxing out the counter space. All would be very cottagy for this seaside home.

The kitchen island would have plenty of storage but still be able to seat six people. There would be plenty of legroom for comfortable seating with a handy leg indentation for guests big and small. You’ll find no stools at this island, just real seats with good back support so everyone can sit comfortably. A built-in wine cooler would add a nice homey touch. The island surface would be the same as the counter top—no mix and match for me.

Of course, an absolute must would be a walk-in pantry which is stocked with everything anybody would ever need … and there would be no expiration dates. Remember, it’s a fantasy! Then there would be huge cabinets where I’d store all my fancy china and dinner sets with maximum storage and pull-out organization.

My spice rack and exotic herbs will be on display, all sourced from my various culinary tours around the world.

A section for all my cooking books is organized alphabetically for easy access when I’m ready to cook or bake.

Along with that, there’s glass-doored storage for all my cutting-edge kitchen appliances. Being a big Amazon Alexa fan, I love all the new smart technology, from the overhead lights to the kitchen appliances. It’s one of the 21st century inventions that really makes day-to-day life easier. continues on next page

savoirflairmagazine 37

my fantasy kitchen continued from previous page

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The first appliance for my fantasy kitchen is a stainless steel smart double oven fueled by gas. For me, this is an absolute must, as electric just doesn’t cook the same. My choice is the Discovery™ iQ 48” Dual-Fuel Range, which is the first range to feature a wirelessly connected tablet with a full control panel. This range has also got a cooking application with all the tools I need to make great food for the people I love (and for myself, of course!). It also means I can use my smartphone to check and make sure I didn’t forget to shut the oven off, even if I’m out of the house.

No more worries when I’m feeling absent-minded!

My third dream choice is an enormous stainless steel smart fridge that also makes ice and wirelessly transfers my weekly grocery list to my smartphone. My favorite is from Samsung.

The centerpiece of this refrigerator, called the Family Hub, is a massive 21.5 inch touchscreen. The screen can become a shared space for looking at photos, posting digital sticky notes, and even watching television, so I’ll never miss out on my Netflix favorites when I’m busy cooking.

My fourth fantasy appliance is a dishwasher, naturally. What, you thought I was going to wash my own

To go with my amazing range, my second dream appliance is a pretty copper cookware set. Mauviel’s professional copper cookware is definitely my first choice. Everyone from world-class chefs to home cooks

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38 savoirflairmagazine

up! These copper sets perform beautifully and look even better.

dishes? This is my fantasy kitchen!

In a dream world, I would choose a built-in option which matches my cabinets. This would be a high-tech dishwasher which can send alerts to my phone when each load is complete, and of course it will run quietly as it does its job, so I can hear the birds singing and the waves lapping outside. But of course, what’s a dishwasher without fabulous dishes and flatware? I love glass cups, dishes, and bowls, and ultra-modern flat-

my fantasy kitchen savoirflair COMPLIMENTARY COPY

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ware. I’m not a big fan of patterns that compete with the arrangement of the cuisine being served, so simple and unassuming is best. I really love this square set that can be bought just about anywhere. It’s visually unique but doesn’t take attention away from the food, framing the cuisine without competing with it. My fantasy flatware choice is the Yamazaki Merge Duo with its artistic and distinct pro-

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portions. It’s simple but really visually appealing, which contrasts with the flatware.

I care about the animals in my house too, so the last (but certainly not least!) addition to my fantasy kitchen would be a small bottom draw that holds water and food bowls for my dogs. There should be a dog-enabled automatic mechanism that they can open and close at will, making it easy to access their food and water without leaving messy bowls on display all the time … or making me rifle through my cabinets every time they want a drink. What more could my pups ask for?

That sums up my fantasy kitchen.

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FLAUNT IT—COMMUNITY FRIENDLY BUSINESS What are common framing errors?

Trying to frame a nice piece of artwork on the cheap. Incorrect framing will ruin the artwork. Our job is to preserve artwork.

Do you have LGBTQ customers/clients?

Yes but we take care of all our customers.

How would you characterize these clients versus non LGBTQ community members?

I find all people are the same.

Flaunt It! with Anthony Tisei from

Harvard Art & Frame What is the history of Harvard Art & Framing ?

I bought the store in 1973 from the Brodski family.

After a few moves, I opened the Charlestown store in 2000 and the Saugus store in 2018. I bought the store cause I was a musician and needed to assuage my family cause I was on the road a lot and needed a home base.

What makes Harvard Art & Frame different than other stores?

Our quality is better from the big box stores because we have all experienced framers. Our materials are from top quality manufacturers. We do all our work in-house.

What are some of your favorite frame types?

Whatever makes my customer happy. It’s about my clients’ aesthetic, not mine. With my direction, I steer the client to the best possible results.

What are some of the newest framing trends and products in recent years?

Framing trends tend to change like fashion. As a result I update our sample wall constantly to keep up with trends.

Tell us about your staff and what they specialize in?

All my staff are experienced framers with over 20 years of experience.

Do you have any LGBTQ staff? Yes.

How do you market to the LGBTQ community? The Pink Pages.

What advice would you give someone who wants to purchase a frame or have a custom frame made? Come in anytime and we will talk with you. Bring it in. We frame everything from Sport Jerseys to Fine Art. What makes you proud of owning a business like Harvard Art & Frame?

When I go into a house and see my work on the walls. Being a successful business owner makes me proud, also giving my customers an excellent product and having many repeat customers.

What is the biggest challenge in the retail and service end of your business?

Trying to convince people not to frame work on-line. They won’t get what they think they’re getting. savoirflairmagazine 41

Your Jewelry Style

by Nicholas McCarty

make the right decision, that chosen jewelry styles can draw attention to your best features or possibly camouflage less desirable areas. Your choice of jewelry style will subtly affect others perceptions, so here are some guidelines to help you select the most flattering jewelry?

Bracelets and Rings: Men and Women of average build and height will find a wide bracelet complimentary. Petite people should look for more delicate pieces and tall or full figured individual should layer several small or wide bracelets, avoiding very delicate pieces that can look lost. When selecting rings make sure that the setting doesn’t cover your knuckle which not only Our community loves our jewelry many of us col-

will cause fingers to look short but can interfere

lect it and certainly feel incomplete without their

with movement and comfort. Shorter fingers ben-

favorite piece when going out on the town. Wheth-

efit from oval settings while longer fingers look best

er its a wedding/engagement ring or just because

with wide bands or simple, round settings.

you want a special tinket for yourself, jewelry can

Necklaces or Chains:

be a cherished piece that can be held for a lifetime.

Your choice of necklace can minimize or emphasize

When you want to buy jewelry, you have to choose

your size. If you want to create or emphasize a taller

the one that can compliment a formal outfit or for

appearance choose longer necklaces and V shapes.

daily wear. Think carefully before you decide. If you

A necklace that falls past the chest but above the

42 savoirflairmagazine

waist will elongate while a choker style or shorter U shaped necklace resting on the breast bone will shorten your appearance.

The size of your necklace should also be considered.

Fuller figures can compliment their proportions with larger, chunkier pieces that would overwhelm an individual with a smaller frame.

Earrings: The main factor when choosing earring is your face shape. Whether it be one earing or many, face shape is important when selecting earrings. Face shapes are generally grouped as: oval, rectangle, round, heart and square. Individuals with an oval face shape can wear any style while other people should look for styles that contrast their face shape. Selecting a hoop or button style for a round face would continues on next page

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Your Jewelry Style continued from previous page

or tourquise in the Spring.

While these guidelines may influence the type of jewelry you select you can be sure that there are many, many choices for all tastes and occasions regardless of your shape or size.

These are guidelines. The most important of all is choosing what you love. Use your feelings to decide which one is best for you.

only emphasize the round shape.

Square or long shapes will de-emphasize a round face. The same is true with other face shapes; a long, rectangular face should stay away from long, dangling earrings and choose smaller studs instead. Square faces need the softness of round or hoop earrings and heart shaped faces are complimented with triangular shapes with a wide base that contrasts a narrow chin. Always remember diamond stubs are a great choice no matter your face shape.

Seasonal Seclection: Generally for all physiques and face shapes silver is good in Summer because darker skins show off the silver jewelry. Winter works for the heavier metal jewelry such as gold and platinum because they are heavier and tend to retain heat. Fall and Spring seasons semi percious stones work such as amber in the Fall 44 savoirflairmagazine

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LGBTQ Wedding Ceremonies | by Sharon Levine Over the years Savoirflair Magazine has had the unique honor of sharing the wedding experiences of many LGBTQ couples. The ceremonies can be as unique and creative as the couples themselves. One of the most dramatic entrances for any couple took place over 7 years ago in a rustic Winter setting in Vermont.

Marc and John | Photo by David Murray Weddings Riverside Farm, Pittsfield, VT On a beautiful February evening, after a fresh blanket of snow fall, residents of Boston Marc and John were married at an intimate outdoor ceremony at Vermont’s Riverside Farm, a private 300 acre country estate in Pittsfield, Vermont, less

than 10 miles from Killington. The couple chose this particular venue for their weekend celebration for a variety of reasons. They wanted to be wed far from urban life The ceremony location was nestled under a walkway that led to the dining barn. Fire pits and tall glass hurricane vessels illuminated the area. The 74 guests were taken to the ceremony by horse-drawn sleds with blankets. The couple gave much thought to their own arrival at the ceremony. They wanted to arrive by themselves as a couple, but as equals as men. Their solution: riding independently next to each other on horseback.

Marc & John, Grooms make a dramatic entrance to their ceremony on horseback

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Geraldine & Jessica | Photos By Mara Brod Friendly Crossways Retreat Center, Harvard, MA We first exchanged rings in August, during our very intimate wedding in Belgium. (European governments are far more accepting of foreigners who marry Europeans than the US Federal government is of accepting foreigners who marry Americans.) But we wanted to celebrate with more of our friends and family together, so we chose Friendly Crossways Retreat Center in Harvard, Massachusetts as our destination October weekend

wedding venue. The ceremony itself took place in the early afternoon in a grove, where there’s a granite outcropping surrounded by trees. Apparently we were the first to get married on top of the outcropping. We loved that setting and built and decorated an arbor that used our colors and also fit in with the fall foliage. Our celebrant, Amanda Brown, was absolutely wonderful and really captured our essence. We didn’t want any religious aspects at all to our ceremony, and she did a great job of putting together a ceremony that was inspiring and touching at a human level.

A really great memory is at the end of the ceremony, our friend Mike who is also in the Air Force with Jess, and other groomsmen performed a traditional Air Force wedding honor guard ceremony for us. They lined up two by two and formed a tunnel by raising their swords, for us to walk through. As we walked up to each pair, they brought down the swords to block our path, and we had to smooch before they’d raise the swords again to let us through. continues on next page

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Our LGBTQ Ceremonies

continued from previous page

by Efrain & Joseph | Photos by Paul & Micheal Nash The Mill on the River, South Windsor, CT Even though it had rained the majority of the day we had a beautiful outdoor ceremony under the gazebo next to Vintons Mill pond. Our wedding party consisted of our parents, followed by my two brothers, Scott and Mike, escorting Efrain’s sisters, Sonia and Jessica. Efrain and I were escorted down the isle by our beautiful daughter Jasmine. Rev. Aaron Miller of MCC Hartford, officiated the ceremony in front of 70 of our closest friends and family. Aside from exchanging our own vows, we were blessed to have our daughter, Jasmine and nephew, Alex sing, God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts at our wedding. Our Photographer, Paul and his son Michael did an amazing job and were able to capture some amazing photos of us and our families in the gazebo, in the covered bridge and on the beautiful grounds. continues on page 50

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Our LGBTQ Ceremonies continued from page 48

Amanda & Christina Photography by Ryan Williams Four Wings Photography the Salem Cross Inn, West Brookfield, MA

Our ceremony was a dream. It perfectly captured us as couple, sweet and true. My (Christina) mom told me I sped down the aisle, but really I couldn't get down there fast enough. We wrote our own vows and had our officiant, Tiffany, design everything else. We enjoyed the readings with poetry since we like to break with tradition. We loved that Tiffany designed a Celtic handfasting ceremony for us instead of something like lighting candles or filling unique bottles with sand. All wonderful traditions, but just not us. The defining moment though were the cows. In all our time touring the venue for meetings we never once heard the cows on the property. Well on our day we had them elegantly mooing in the background, it was hilarious and fabulous. If something like that were to happen to any couple on Earth, of course it would be us. It was great. After the big I do and the right spot for the kiss we danced back down the aisle as the official Mrs. and Mrs. Chapin.

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STEVENDELGAIZO

GM’s Self Driving Car Developer

By Kate Opalewski Courtesy of Pride Source Media Group Work and identity are often strongly intertwined. For Steven Del Gaizo, he gets to be his authentic self while working on what he loves. In his current position at General Motors, he focuses on developing new autonomous technology that has the potential to enable GM’s vision of a world with zero crashes, zero emissions and zero congestion. Del Gaizo is a design release engineer who specifically works on sensing technology for self-driving vehicles.

“We are leading the way for autonomous technology and I’m grateful to be a part of it,” said Del Gaizo, who is openly gay. “Knowing that my work is contributing to a better future is a satisfying career opportunity. On a dayto-day basis, I work with various teams inside and outside the company to develop this technology.”

The car, known as the Cruise AV (Autonomous Vehicle) was built from the start to operate safely on its own, with no driver. GM engineered safety into the vehicle in every single step of design, de-

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“With its advanced sensor systems, the Cruise AV has the capability to see the environment around it, in 360 degrees, day and night. It is designed to identify pedestrians in a crosswalk, or an object darting suddenly into its path and to respond accordingly,” said GM’s 2018 Self-Driving Safety report. “It can maneuver through construction cones, yield to emergency vehicles and react to avoid collisions.”

Del Gaizo spoke about his work on the autonomous vehicle, what he enjoys most about his job and what it’s like to be out in workplace.

How long have you worked for the company?

I’ve been with General Motors full time for almost six years now. I started working with GM as an intern during undergrad and graduate school. I had various positions within the design studio, vehicle integration,

thermal analysis and aerodynamics teams. I’ve been in this self-driving vehicle role for six months now. Before this new role, I worked on optimizing aerodynamics for electric and autonomous vehicles. For me, it’s important that I have a passion for my job, which is why I’m excited to be working in the autonomous division.

Are there specific parts of the autonomous vehicle that you work on?

Right now I have been focused sensing technology for self-driving vehicles, specifically lidar. It is an interesting field and every day I learn something new. As a team, GM is ensuring that all our autonomous technology is designed with safety at the center.

What do you enjoy most about working with cars at GM? One of my favorite things as an aerodynamic engineer was working with the design studio. As an engineer it’s continues on page 58

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STEVENDELGAIZO continued from page 55

easy to get caught up on small changes sometimes, but when you walk into the design studio, everything is about looks and emotion which helps put things into perspective. Now, in the autonomous role, I love the innovation and problem solving challenges. Over the years I’ve been able to get over 10 different patents for new inventions I’ve made. It’s exciting and rewarding work.

Tell me something interesting or unique about the work you do?

One of the greatest moments in my career so far was my work as an aerodynamic engineer. I remember walking into the design studio one day and seeing my computer-generated aerodynamic images being used as inspiration for future vehicles. Seeing my work directly impact designs of the future is a great feeling and very rewarding. That same feeling and emotion will come for autonomous when I take my first driverless ride, knowing that I

played a part in enabling it.

The car, known as the Cruise AV (Autonomous Vehicle) was built by GM from the start to operate safely on its own, with no driver.

Have you always been out at work?

Yes, I came out right around the time I first moved to the area.

For me, it was essential that I be able to be out and my whole self at work. Being out at work was not immediate, it was a process as I grew more comfortable with myself. Now, I feel like I finally found my way, I’ve gotten over my personal fears and I am able to mention my life and sexuality without a second thought at work.

What is it like to be your authentic self while working?

I have had nothing but positive experiences. I don’t have to make up stories on the spot about what I did on the weekend, I can mention my boyfriend and my life outside of work freely. It’s little things that you do

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STEVENDELGAIZO to cover that you don’t realize become so exhausting over time and take a toll. I’m thankful that I can be my authentic self at work and I encourage everyone to do the same as long as you feel safe doing so.

Considering people are discriminated against and have been fired from their job because they identify as LGBTQ, what would you say to a future GM employee who identifies as LGBTQ about the environment there and perhaps why they should feel comfortable being open at work?

I actually got this question a lot recently as I was recruiting for GM at an LGBTQ conference, Out for Undergrad. GM has gone a long way at protecting and establishing policies for LGBTQ employees. We have had a non-dis-

O

crimination policy in place and before marriage equality, (and) GM recognized same-sex partnerships and offered benefits for them as well. While I was an intern at GM, an employee transitioned in the workplace. We had an HR meeting to educate employees about transsexuality and brought in an employee to talk about her transition in the work place.

As a gay, closeted man at this time, this helped me see firsthand how GM supports LGBTQ employees. Eventually, this co-worker and I became good friends. She was the first person I came out to at work. This is why I think it is important to be your authentic self, you never know who else is closeted and needs support coming out. continues on next page

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STEVENDELGAIZO continued from previous page

Describe your role with GM Plus?

I joined our LGBTQ employee resource group, GM PLUS three years ago. This last year I joined the board as the education and training chair. I lead a mentor group specifically for LGBTQ employees.

Along with that, I coordinate and schedule workshops to educate employees on how to be inclusive with our partnership with PFLAG. This year we had our first out executive

town hall where leadership who identifies as LGBTQ hosted an open forum and talked about their experiences within GM. Right now we are really trying to engage and reach out to our allies because allies are vital for creating inclusive environments and championing LGBTQ issues. We also do recruiting and represent GM at a number of LGBTQ themed conferences around the country throughout

the year. Along with that, we are focused on helping our community as well. Cadillac was a sponsor at Ruth Ellis’s annual fundraising event, VOICES, and we work with them throughout the year and have GM employees volunteering at their center.

Learn more about General Motors’ approach to safely putting selfdriving cars on the roads online at gaybe.am/4r.

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