Savoirflair Fall Winter 2019

savoirflair COMPLIMENTARY COPY

VOL. 12

NO. 2

NEW ENGLAND’S LGBTQ MAGAZINE

LGBTQ PILOTS RALPH CRAM

BOHEMIAN ARCHITECT

CAMP

UP YOUR CAR

RHODE ISLAND

WEDDING

GIFT

JEWELRY

VIDEO | WEDDING | BOOKS | HOME | MARKETPLACE savoirflairmagazine 1

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CONTENTS PILOTS | COMMUNITY AVIATION GROUP 24 LGBTQ

BY ERIN WEAVER

36

RALPH CRAM | BOHEMIAN GOTHIC ARCHITECT

BY CHLOE BELLE

ROADS LESS TRAVELED | LGBTQ TRAVEL 40 THE

BY PRIDE SOURCE MEDIA | CUSTOM GIFT IDEAS 42 JEWELRY

BY NICHOLAS MCCARTY ISLAND WEDDING | LGBTQ WEDDING 46 RHODE

BY SHARON LEVINE UP YOUR CAR 54 BYCAMP JOHN AXELROD

BOSTON PROVINCETOWN NORTHAMPTON PROVIDENCE MASSACHUSETTS CONNECTICUT MAINE VERMONT NEW HAMPSHIRE RHODE ISLAND 6 savoirflairmagazine

| FUN CAMPY CARS

EVERY ISSUE 10 FILM /TV OF INTEREST BRITISH TV SERIES 14 GIFT BOOKS LGBTQ GIFT BOOK PICKS 16 BOOK REVIEWS ME PRECIOUS AND ADORNED BOSOM FRIENDS A WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE

32 HOME INTERIOR DECORATING NO NOS

61 MARKETPLACE SERVICE DIRECTORY

COMMUNITY OWNED AND FRIENDLY SERVICES

PUBLISHER Mary Kennedy EDITOR Sharon Levine EDITORIAL CONSULTANT Nicholas McCarty WRITERS Wendy Mimran | Mark Adams | Jeff Parson | Chloe Belle Kate Opalewski | John Axelrod | Terri Schlichenmeyer | Erin Weaver SALES Rena Berman, Sales Director Wendy Mimran, Sales Development Manager Sharon Levine | Nicholas McCarty | Mark Davis PRODUCTION Jenna Simon | Louis Chavez, Intern | Shorty Kennedy, Intern | Bodhi Cabela Orella DeVille | Cleo Marie | Kwame Byrd | Pixie Chavez; Proof Reader PHOTOGRAPHY COVER: Lightfield Studios, Wedding photography Crissy Bayless of Bayless Photography, Automobile and Pilot Photos by SF Staff DISTRIBUTION Eagle Distribution | Crevier Distribution | CTM Distribution | Breakaway ADVERTISING INFORMATION All inquires may be addressed to KP Media, 333 Washington St. #714 Boston, MA 02108 (617) 423-1515, e-mail: kpmedia@aol.com ©2020 All Rights Reserved. M. Kennedy Publishing, Inc. SavoirFlair may not be reproduced in part or whole without the written permission of the publisher. Advertising content is the sole responsibility of individual advertisers.

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BRITISH LGBTQ TV

“GENTLEMAN JACK,� LEFT TO RIGHT: ANN WALKER PLAYED BY SOPHIE RUNDLE AND ANNE LISTER PLAYED BY SURANNE JONES

By Mark Adams You've gotta love those Brits. They really know how

what that all means, except the contents of this code

to do "gay." Going back almost twenty years, there

was cracked in the late 1800s, and her diaries were

was the groundbreaking series "Queer As Folk," with

published in the 1980s. She was a woman who loved

a cast that included Charlie Hunnam, who achieved

women, and courted them "roguishly," and we know

fame here the good ol' USofA with the "Sons of

what that means. She was successful, particularly

Anarcy" series. There are a couple of relatively new

for that time period anyway, and insisted upon hav-

BBC productions that have made their way over the

ing the same liberties of men. The series, like many

pond and showed up on HBO and Amazon Prime.

BBC productions, tells of her trials and tribulations

The HBO series is "Gentlemen Jack," and ran in 8

in a manner that most productions stateside cannot

episodes for the first season. It tells the story of

match. I'm not familiar with any of the cast members,

Anne Lister, who told her story "...in millions of

but you can catch up with all the episodes on the

words, many of them in a code based on mathemati-

HBO Now site and, yes, there will be a second series

cal symbols and Greek Alphabet." I have no idea

coming in the next year.

10 savoirflairmagazine

charged in putting out a hit on his former lover. It's told in flashback, but not in the annoying way they do in "This Is Us," if you catch my drift. It's only a threeparter, so you can watch it all in one sitting, and I'm betting you will. The series was written by Russel T. Davies, who also was responsible for the original "QAF" series mentioned earlier, and directed by Stephen Frears, who did the same for the Netflix series "The Queen." It's a scary representation of what was like for gay folk in the 1960s-1970s. It is available on Amazon streaming. .

The series "A Very English Scandal" an Amazon Prime original, has been around for a while, but worth mentioning here for its splendid performances by both Hugh Grant and Ben Whishaw, who was nominated for an Emmy (he should have won) and did win a Golden Globe for his effort. For those unaware, it tells the true story of a politician in the UK who was

Mark Adams has been a popular contributor to LGBTQ Media for many years, writing extensively on film and video of interest to the community. You can email him at vidioview@gmail.com with any of your favorites for a future scribbling.

“A VERY ENGLISH SCANDAL,� LEFT TO RIGHT: JEREMY THORPE PLAYED BY HUGH GRANT AND NORMAN SCOTT PLAYED BY BEN WHISHAW

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GIFT BOOKS

LGBTQ BOOK GIFT GUIDE

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

this is fun, and it’s also a book for

for the adult who still possesses

So what do you get for that hard-

someone who’s questioning…

the wonder of a child. Or for an adult, just because.

to-buy-for person who never likes anything? Well, as they say,

If your giftee is exploring the ideas

a book is a present they’ll open

and limits of gender, you can’t go

For the newlywed (or the about-

again and again, so why not head

wrong by wrapping up “Nonbina-

to-be-wed), “The Gay Marriage

to your local bookstore or web-

ry: Memoirs of Gender and Iden-

Generation” by Peter Hart-Brin-

site for these great LGBTQ book

tity,” edited by Micah Rajunov and

son is the book to give. It takes

gifts:

Scott Duane. This is a book filled

a look at how same-sex marriage

with tales of those who’ve exam-

became law across the coun-

ined (or are examining) questions

try, and how it changed the way

of gender, sexuality, age, and race.

America looks at gay men and lesbians.

For the child with two Mommies or two Daddies, and for the kids in that child’s preschool session, “The GayBCs” by M.L. Webb will make a great class gift.

It’s the A-B-Cs, but with terms fa-

For the person who loves someone who doesn’t identify strictly as male-female will appreciate unwrapping “She He They Me”

The gay giftee might also like “Out

by Robyn Ryle this year. It’s a

of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay

book that acts a bit like those old

Men’s Lives” by Walt Odets in

“choose-your-own-adventure” as

that same wrapped gift.

it examines and explains gender,

miliar to the LGBTQ community

The person on your list who

its definitions, and the way it’s

and their families, so it’s for them,

enjoys reading short stories will

been perceived historically. Hint:

too. Or it might make a great gift

love “Every True Pleasure: LG-

14 savoirflairmagazine

BTQ Tales of North Carolina,” edited by Wilton Barnhardt. It’s absolutely filled with tales from the South and from the heart.

For the parent of someone who’s come out this year, consider giving “Embracing the Journey” by Greg and Lynn McDonald, with Beth Jusino, foreword by Greg McDonald Jr. It’s a guide, really, for Christian parents who learn that their child is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, and how it fits with your spiritual beliefs.

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Book Review x 4

Book Review x 4 REVIEWS

by Terri Schlichenmeyer “ME” BY ELTON JOHN c.2019, Henry Holt, $30.00 / $38.50 Canada, 375 pages

Nobody said it would be easy. You have your eyes set on something but doing it will take time, sacrifice, and effort.You’ll get things right, but you’ll also get in your own way before you get to where you want to be and if you don’t believe that, then read “Me” by Elton John.

16 savoirflairmagazine

On and off through most of his life, Elton John had

of wide-eyed awe at what life had just handed him. If

a tumultuous relationship with his mother. She was

he’d said “Gee whiz!” even once, you’d understand.

sometimes angry, sometimes abusive, rarely loving,

Alas, after the kid-in-a-candy-store naiveté evapo-

but she did one important thing for him: she intro-

rates and his career takes off, John’s account of his

duced him to Elvis Presley music.

young-manhood seems jaded; he says he was “ex-

Though John says he’d wanted to be a musician since

hausted” by constant work and pressures, and the

he was very small, the 78 RPM his “mum” brought

second third of his book shows that in the voice

home opened a window for a huge record collec-

readers see. Here – in the stories of parties, record-

tion, a passion for seeing live music, and a dream of

ing sessions, and industry goings-on – the tale starts

playing in a band onstage. Soon, he was gigging with

to slip into that which plagues so many star biog-

regional bands and accidentally meeting people who

raphies: name-dropping and seemingly unnecessary

would help his career.

sameness. It would mar the book, were it not for the

At nineteen, he was still a virgin, still naïve about be-

sense of droll humor that John continues to pack

ing gay, and rather blithe about his natural ability to

around his anecdotes.

write music. That was okay, though; he’d met Bernie

By the final third of this book, we get a settled John

Taupin, who wrote lyrics over breakfast and togeth-

who’s clean, happier, less frenetic but still funny.

er, they’d pen hits by lunchtime.

Here’s where readers reach what is likely familiar, as

At twenty-two, John had fallen in love with a man,

though we’ve read this book before. But, of course,

was no longer a virgin, and “things [professionally]

you haven’t because “Me” is John’s first and only au-

were starting to move, very gradually.”

tobiography and enjoying it is easy.

Just one year later, he performed for the first time in America.

Through his early career, stardom gave John a delightful platter of surprises and he seized most everything that came his way: singers he admired praised him, famous people he’d watched wanted to meet him. He later hobnobbed with royalty, both the music kind and the Buckingham Palace kind. He fell in love, married, divorced, and fell into an obsession over something that made his life so, so much harder…

There is a certain aura surrounding the first third of “Me,” and it’ll charm the socks off you: author Elton John writes about his childhood, quickly, before he leaps into the bits about his early career with a sense

“PRECIOUS AND ADORED: The Love Letters of Rose Cleveland and Evangeline Simpson Whipple 1890-1918,” edited by Lizzie Ehrenhalt and Tilly Laskey, foreword by Lillian Faderman c.2019, Minnesota Historical Society Press $19.95 / higher in Canada, 264 pages “You’ve got mail!” If you’re waiting for a delivery, those words (or something like them) could absolutely make your week better. Just think, there was once a time when you waited days for messages to travel cross-country, and now it happens in an incontinues on next page

savoirflairmagazine 17

Book Reviews continued from previous page

ess when her bachelor brother became the nation’s

stant – although you’ll have to admit, after reading

twenty-second President. By the time he married

“Precious and Adored,” edited by Lizzie Ehrenhalt

Frances Folsom in 1886, Rose was a much-admired

and Tilly Laskey, foreword by Lillian Faderman, that

public figure.

it’s sometimes just not the same.

“It is possible,” say Ehrenhalt and Laskey, that Rose

Evangeline Simpson was a very wealthy woman.

and “Eva” met in Florida in 1890, or they may’ve

She was fiercely independent, too: after her husband,

been slightly acquainted before a Valentine’s Day

Michael, who was forty-eight years older than she,

party they attended in Tampa that year. Whenever it

died and left her with $2.5 million in assets, Evange-

happened, by April of 1890, letters began flying back

line continued to travel, often solo, and tend to the

and forth between them “in an explosion of anticipa-

estates she owned.

tion, confusion, and passion.”

It was on one of her trips that she met Rose Cleve-

Their love affair endured for “almost three decades,”

land.

except when Simpson – who the authors believe was

Growing up, Rose also had access to the finer things

“sexually fluid” – was married to Henry Whipple, the

in life. She was educated, refined, and self-reliant,

first Episcopal bishop of Minnesota. She appeared to

and was a natural stand-in for White House host-

have genuinely loved the older man and had fallen “in love with God”; Cleveland pleaded through anguished letters for Eva to reconsider but the marriage proceeded, lasting until the Bishop’s death in 1901. Shortly afterward, Cleveland and Whipple took up where they left off…

Given today’s more open climate, there are two remarkable things about this story, as editors Lizzie Ehrenhalt and Tilly Laskey point out in “Precious and Adored”: it all happened at a time when same-sex relationships between women were encouraged and somewhat celebrated, although homosexuality itself was condemned and often illegal.Women’s same-sex relationships were called “Boston marriages” with whimsy and a wink but Cleveland and Whipple, says Faderman in her foreword, “could have found no comfortable terms to describe” themselves.

It’s also quite noteworthy that most of the correspondence quoted in this book was taken from letters Whipple received from Cleveland, and saved. No

18 savoirflairmagazine

Book Reviews one knows what happened to the letters Cleveland received from Whipple, and readers are largely left to consider the possibilities.

You’ll have a chance to do that by reading those letters, presented here following a very lengthy “introduction,” but doing so is an exercise that may be alternately difficult for their quaint Victorian floridity, and absorbing for their naked emotion. Just know that the true heart of this important entry in the history of lesbian and queer foremothers lies in its first half, making “Precious and Adored” a book that delivers.

“BOSOM FRIENDS: The Intimate World of James Buchanan & William Rufus King”

by Thomas J. Balcerski c.2019, Oxford University Press, $34.95 / higher in Canada, 337 pages Tethered by a cord. That’s what people think when they see you and your closest pal: that you’re tethered by some sort of invisible cord. You think alike,

It was at one such “mess” that William King met James Buchanan. King was born to be a politician: educated at the University of North Carolina, he

talk alike, you sometimes mirror each other’s actions.

almost immediately went into politics after gradua-

Where there’s one, there’s the other even, as in the

tion. He was a social man, and very charming, but he

new book “Bosom Friends” by Thomas J. Balcerski,

never married, blaming it on a broken heart over a

when you’re often poles apart.

princess who was angered by a perceived insult. Bal-

In the years prior to the Civil War, our nation’s

cerski hints that the princess story was a convenient

Capital was “very much a work in progress”: roads

ruse. Buchanan was also educated and politically-

were little more than mud, neighborhoods were far

minded but his personal life differed: he was engaged

apart and, indeed, Washington DC was a swamp to

to be married but a misunderstanding caused his fi-

which most Congressmen had to travel. Since nearly

ancé to call off the nuptials. Before Buchanan could

all were landowners elsewhere, few elected officials

patch things up, she fell ill and died. For the rest of

brought their families with them; those who came

his life, he, too, claimed that a broken heart kept him

solo needed places to live, so boarding houses called

from marrying.

“messes” sprung up to house the politicians.

continues on next page

savoirflairmagazine 19

Book Reviews continued from previous page

At that time in history, says Balcerski, homosexuality ships between men were common and even encour-

“A WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE: A MEMOIR”

aged; it seems likely that King and Buchanan formed

by Edie Windsor with Joshua Lyon

one of these while living at the “mess,” partaking in

c.2019, St. Martin’s Press,$27.99 / $37.99 Canada

debates together, and working at the Capital. Their

274 pages

“bosom friendship,” however, appeared exception-

There’s a long line of people behind you. Some are

ally close: tongues wagged and others publicly teased

afraid to be seen, to speak up, or to show up. Others

was strictly forbidden but deeply “intimate” friend-

the politicians for their particular bond.

But were they lovers, as rumors have claimed for over 170 years?

Inconclusive, as you’ll see in “Bosom Friends.” There are many reasons to think either way; although author Thomas J. Balcerski says they weren’t, evidence otherwise is tantalizing.

To get there, though, will take some rock-climbing.

To understand the lives of King and Buchanan, one must inherently understand politics, of which much of this book consists. This is necessary, since it also shows division between the two men, ultimately both physically and emotionally; the scrappy political competition in which they engaged; and an untraversable gulf of disagreement – facets that, individually and together, are fascinating. Readers will clearly see the affection between the two men here, though we’ll never completely know the true nature of it:

don’t want to get involved, so they’re sitting this one

possibly-argument-settling written communication

out. One thing, though: they’re all watching to see

between the two disappeared shortly after the Civil

what you do next because, as in the new memoir,

War.

“A Wild and Precious Life” by Edie Windsor with

That sets up a delicious double-mystery that leaves

Joshua Lyon, someone’s got to be first.

you to make up your own mind: letters lost or tossed?

There was never any doubt that little Edie Schlain

“Bosom Friends,” or more than that? If you’re curi-

was fiercely adored.

ous to know, this book will keep you tethered to

The youngest child of the family, Edie grew up wanting to be like her big sister, protected by her big

your chair.

20 savoirflairmagazine

Book Reviews brother, and the apple of her parents’ eyes. She admits that she was “spoiled” then, not in a bad way but just enough to give her the confidence and brass a child of the Depression might need.

She remembered the beginning of World War II, although not in the sense that most did: her recollections were of a houseful of boys, her brother’s friends, laughing and eating and gathering in her parents’ home before going off to war, and mourning when word arrived of those who’d never come home. Edie always liked boys and as she matured, she bantered with her brother’s friends although she occasionally thought it odd how much she liked watching other girls.

“The idea that anything physically intimate with a girl could happen simply did not exist,” she said.

But eventually, it did, with a tennis

partner in college, then with a female roommate she loved before realizing that there was “no other available reality” than to fall into lockstep with other young women of the 1950s, settle down, and marry a nice man. The marriage lasted six months. At the end, Edie, who’d convinced her husband to adapt the surname “Windsor,” realized that she needed to tell him the truth. Pondering how to tell him, she immersed herself in Judy Garland “fantasy” musicals, and she planned: “Guess what, Judy? I’m a lesbian.”

“If you’re looking to read about Edie’s Supreme Court case, put this down…” says co-author Joshua Lyon in his preface. But don’t be too hasty: “A Wild and Precious Life” has enough to offer, all by itself.

Indeed, though he still touches upon the fight that helped achieve

marriage equality, Lyon says that Windsor “desperately wanted” readers to know about her pioneering work in computers and technology, which was a “core part of her identity” and of which she was enormously proud. In her words here, which Lyon indicates that she edited herself, Windsor also woos readers with breezy wit, racy love stories, and seemingly casual-not-casual, seminonchalant depictions of being a lesbian in the mid-twentiethcentury, and what it was like living in the shadows but flirting hard with the light. Early in this book, Lyon says he fretted about how to finish it after Windsor died, but he needn’t have worried. Though its ending feels a little rushed, “A Wild and Precious Life” flows perfectly and entertains delightfully, making it a book you’ll want in front of you. .

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LGBTQ Pilots National Gay Pilot Association We Fly Together.

By Chloe Belle Over thirty years ago a handful of gay pilots discreetly gathered in Provincetown. They coordinated their meeting by responding to an ad and agreeing to wear an aviation theme t-shirt in order to identify each other.

Anonymity was maintained by not using any last names since they risked losing their jobs or dishonorable discharge from the military for being gay. This was the first NGPA event. It's from these humble beginnings that a global movement was born.

Today their mission is simple; to BUILD, SUPPORT, and UNITE the LGBTQ aviation community worldwide.

Predominately consisting of male members, which mirrors the airline industry where women make up roughly 6% of pilots worldwide, their executive leadership, in the spirit of inclusivity, includes female American Air24 savoirflairmagazine

lines Pilot Jan Anderson. In addition to being lesbian inclusive, transgender NGPA members have found a home where they can connect with each other and gain access to transgender-specific aviation medical consulting, counseling, and legal assistance. The NGPA also empowers transgender members with an annual transgender event.

This well organized national group offers all members a plethora of services including counseling, job listings, discounts, medical advice and assistance reporting homophobia and transphobia through it’s advocacy committee.

ABOVE: NGPA BOARD MEMBER PILOT JAN ANDERSON

The event features breakout sessions, a general aviation-theme keynote address, fly-in, and formal dinner

Every year the NGPA celebrates their legacy at the

banquet, among other activities.”

Cape Cod Classic, which is held in September in Provincetown. The website describes the activities,

Currently The NGPA has over 23 chapters in the

“The Cape Cod Classic provides our members an

United States. The local group the Yankee Flyers in-

intimate opportunity to experience Provincetown

cudes all of New England with events throughout

while bonding over our common love of aviation.

the region. We had the pleasure of interviewing local Yankee Flyers member Pilot Dylan Kershner.

CB Can you tell us a little about your background?

DK My full name is actually Charles Dylan Kershner; although I’ve gone by my middle name since I was growing up. I grew up in Indianapolis, IN and lived there until I turned 17. After that I studied abroad in continued on next page savoirflairmagazine 25

continued from previous page

my goal of 1,500 hours and was offered a position at

Germany where I learned to speak German. I then

PSA Airlines which is a subsidiary of American Air-

spent a good amount of time just traveling through

lines. I spent two more years in the right seat as a

Europe, South America and the US seeing where I

Washington DC based First Officer learning the jet;

could get to on points and how cheap of a hostel I

and in August of 2018 I was promoted to Captain.

could actually find. This travel along with my experience of living in Germany stoked my passion for

CB Where do you call home?

aviation that I had always had since I was about six

DK I currently live in Westfield Massachusetts. I

years old.

have lived in Westfield on and off over the course of

In 2013 I decided to take the plunge and move to

the last five years. This small town in Western Mas-

Florida to take a fast-paced program to earn all of

sachusetts has offered me some of the greatest op-

my pilot and flight instructor certificates. With a lot

portunities I could have asked for and put me in the

of help from a lot of different people and a lot of

path of some amazing friends and mentors.

hard work I was able to obtain all of my certificates.

It was then time to put these into action and begin building the flight time I would need to reach my goal of becoming an airline pilot.

After a brief search, I was offered interviews at two

CB Why did you decide to be a pilot?

And was it a difficult decision?

DK I always tell the story of my first time on an airplane when I looked into the flight deck and pro-

different flight schools in Massachusetts. Without

claimed to my mom that I was going to become an

much hesitation my parents and I took the 14-hour

airline pilot before she quietly hurried me to my seat.

drive for me to attend these interviews. I was of-

When I was about twelve my parents bought me a

fered my first position as a certified flight instructor

discovery flight with a flight instructor; after that

and just like that, knowing very little about Massa-

there wasn’t much of a decision to be made. This

chusetts, I made the decision to pack up my things

was the only job for me.

and continue my journey in aviation in New England.

After a few jobs along the way over the course of the next three years in Indiana, Nebraska, Connecticut, Florida, and of course Massachusetts, I finally reached

DK What is your marital status? Children?

CB I am currently single with no children and living on my own. continued on page 28

26 savoirflairmagazine

PILOT DYLAN KERSHNER AT NGPA’S ANNUAL CAPE COD CLASSIC EVENT IN PROVINCETOWN savoirflairmagazine 27

continued from page 26

show in Osh Kosh, WI in the summer of 2017 and

CB How does your profession impact your

2019. I am looking forward to attending the Cape

personal life?

Cod Classic later in September.

DK What I feel makes me so fortunate is that my passion is my profession. It enables me to travel to

CB What are some of the benefits of NGPA

see my family whenever I’d like. It enables me to fly

membership?

in some of the coolest aircraft around from hot air

DK The opportunity to be a part of an organization

balloons, powered parachutes, and antique tail drag-

that continues to build, support, & unite the LGBT

gers to transport category jets. And, it enables me

Aviation community worldwide is truly an honor.

to see the world and make connections with people

The people I’ve had the opportunity of meeting have

through which I learn so much.

been incredible. The events are a really fun way to escape and spend time with others who are just as

CB When did you join the NGPA and why?

impassioned about aviation as myself.

DK I have been a member of NGPA for approximately a year and a half. I joined the organization

CB When you first joined were there any surprises?

after encouragement from fellow pilots. The NGPA

DK I did try to attend the Cape Cod Classic last

presents for me an incredible network of very tal-

year, but I didn’t realize just how quickly the event

ented and professional aviation enthusiasts that

can sell out! Due to limited space in Provincetown

share the same love I have for the industry.

for large groups, the event is capped at a certain number of participants. I showed up last minute and

CB Which local chapter are you a member?

tried to register but I’d missed the mark. I still had a

DK I am currently a member of two local chapters.

great time over the weekend and met some lovely

NGPA Boston / New England - The Yankee Flyers. As

people.

well as NGPA Washington DC – Out on the Runway.

What NGPA events have you participated in?

CB Every year NGPA has an event The Cape Cod

So far, I’ve been able to attend the Winter Warm Up

Classic in Provincetown, can you tell us a little about

in February of this year out in Palm Springs, CA. I

the event?

was also able to attend the NGPA events at the air-

DK NGPA’s event in Provincetown has been hap-

28 savoirflairmagazine

pening annually for nearly 30 years. The event is a

try is a bit of the “good old boy” mentality of some

great chance to spend some time in Cape Cod while

pilots. When riding on the jumpseat to get to or

the weather is still beautiful and reconnect with

from work we are a guest in the flight deck. I have

friends in the aviation community and NGPA. We

had some experiences with people who said things

have brunch and a speaker at the airport, a “Queen

about the LGBTQ+ community or its members that

of the Fleet” contest where members put their air-

made me uncomfortable. Being in that position as a

planes on display for fellow members to vote on

guest on someone else’s flight deck and not wanting

their favorite. We attend the Tea Dance at The Boat-

to ruffle feathers but also wanting to help change

slip Beach Club and enjoy a few days of fun with our

their perspective can be a struggle.

friends on the cape!

CB Do you think in general it is more difficult to CB Was there anything that surprised you when

come out working in aviation, is it more conservative

you started meeting other LGBTQ Pilots.

than other professions? And why or why not?

DK The thing that surprised me most was just how

DK While I have had negative experiences more

many of us there actually are.

than once in the industry like I discussed above. I will say that those experiences are FAR from the

CB Prior to belonging to NGPA did you have any contact with other LGBTQ Pilots?

DK I did. But not nearly as much. I knew they were out there, but I didn’t happen upon them in the local airports or at the airline with a great deal of frequency.

CB Are you out at work? DK I am.

CB What has been biggest challenge being a member of our LGBTQ community and a pilot?

DK The biggest challenge I have faced in the indus-

norm. In general, I believe the aviation industry is a wonderful place for the LGBTQ+ community. It offers endless opportunity for growth. And in general, most fellow aviators seem to be open, accepting, and genuine. \

If you are intersted in joining the NGPA go to their website at www.ngpa.org or write to: NGPA 4931 W. 35th Street. Suite 200 St. Louis Park, MN 55416 savoirflairmagazine 29

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Interior Decorating NO NOS

by Chloe Belle It’s historical fact that gay men and lesbians shaped the art of interior decor.

One of the oldest stereotypes is of the effeminate, male decorator. When in fact a lesbian, Elsie de Wolfe, is credited with inventing interior decorating in the late nineteenth century. She is called the “first professional interior designer,” legendary for her introduction of light colors and casual decor into formerly dark and heavy Victorian-era settings. Wolfe was the longtime lover of powerful theatrical agent Elisabeth Marbury.

Given our community’s love for the art of interior decoration; here are some no nos that will keep your home in prefect interior balance while preventing making permanent mistakes that you would have to live with (quite literally!).

WAIT TO PAINT Conventional wisdom says paint then furnish but decor can drive the wall colors. Pick everything else in your room before you pick your paint. It’s much harder to find fabric or upholstery to match a particular paint color than paint color which is available in every imaginable color. That doesn’t mean that you have to place everything, just know what you purchased will be the desired accent or contrast with the wall and ceiling color.

COLOR; REMEMBER IT’S ALL IN THE FAMILY DON’T FORGET SCALE­: SHAPES, HEIGHTS AND SIZES Scale can be the most frequent mistake that is made in interior design. Some put too many small things in a room, cluttering the room. Others put too many large, bulky items in the room, making it look stuffed and small. The secret to proper scale is a mixture of different shapes, heights and sizes. It’s essential when thinking about the design of a room to give the eye a place to land. With the right scale your room is well on its way towards a successful design.

TREND NOT What do you like, not what is the latest trend in home design. Grey, grey and more grey, may be a little too blah for you. If you like bold colors, find a way to incorporate that in your house! Design your room the way you want it, not by fickle fads.

32 savoirflairmagazine

Instead of boorishly trying to match all pieces in the room, use a color family instead. If you have a blue patterned chair doesn’t mean that it will match with any blue striped curtains or even should. After reviewing your major pieces of furniture, room decor, then go back to consider your paint color when coordinating all the elements together.

DON’T KEEP A PIECE IF IT DOESN’T FIT Don’t keep furniture just because you think you should, or that it was really expensive. If it doesn’t look good, it doesn’t belong in the room. All it takes is one piece to throw off your interior design.

DON’T OVERLOOK THE REST OF YOUR HOME No room is an island... Have a theme run throughout your home.

Sure, you’re not only trying to match all the things in one room, but you also want your room to match the house. So when deciding on how to design or decorate a room, think about how the style can flow with both your house’s interior and exterior. ds

BLOCK NOT — GO WITH THE FLOW Carefully analyze how the room will be walked around in. Don’t create barriers that weren’t there in the first place! This means, don’t put an over stuffed chair in an area where people walk – all that does is make your room dangerously cramped.

DON’T NEGLECT THE DETAILS Think details – plan for the little things that can also help to tie your entire interior design scheme together, like what decor should you have on your tables and what type of lighting would suit your room.

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Architect AUTHOR, LECTURER

Ralph Adams Cram

by Erin Weaver Ralph Adams Cram, born in 1863 in the small town of Hampton Falls, New Hampshire, was named after two highly eminent men: Ralph Waldo Emerson and John Adams. In time, he would come to make his own mark on history by becoming arguably the foremost Gothic Revival architect in the United States. Cram was a leading proponent of disciplined Gothic Revival architecture, championing the romantic, medieval style, and in particular the educational subgenre of Collegiate Gothic.

In his personal and professional life, Cram was a complex man. He married Elizabeth Carrington Read, daughter of a Confederate Army captain, in New Bedford, Massachusetts, in 1900, and it was during their marriage that Cram was a prominent figure in what biographer Douglass Shand-Tucci describes as “a full-fledged homosexual monastery” in England. In Boston Bohemia, 1881-1900, Shand-Tucci’s biography of Cram, a picture is painted of Boston’s mostly unknown fin-de-siecle bohemia, with Cram portrayed as a leader, art critic, designer, poet, and editor. Shand-Tucci probes the relationship between art and sexual orientation, homosexuality and High Church Anglicism, shedding light on the central role of Boston’s emergent gay subculture in the intellectual and cultural history of New England. Indeed, he draws out a strand of homoeroticism between the network of creatives and intellectuals that Cram was part of as a young man.

Cram worked as a part of these networks for much of his life, forming close friendships and working bonds with the creatives around him. The eminent architect set up busi-

36 savoirflairmagazine

ness in Boston in 1889 with his business partner, Charles Wentworth, under the name “Cram and Wentworth”. The pair had taken on only a handful of church commissions before Bertram Goodhue joined the firm in 1892, bringing his excellent drafting skills and an award-winning Dallas commission (never built) to the office. Following Wentworth’s death in 1897, draftsman Frank Ferguson joined, and the ever-changing firm now became Cram, Goodhue & Ferguson. In 1902, the firm reached a significant milestone when they succeeded in gaining an offer to design the United States Military Academy at West Point.

Cram and Goodhue initially worked well together, complementing one another’s strengths, but in time their relationship became competitive. At times, they even submitted two different proposals for the same commissions.

They eventually split their

The New York Times. He

work between the Boston

made the news in a big way

office, where Cram would

during Democratic candi-

preside, and a New York

date Al Smith’s electoral

office which would be

campaign. Smith, as the

Goodhue’s domain. How-

first Catholic nominee of

ever, tensions heightened

a major party, had a cam-

between the two in 1911

paign that was marred by

when Cram accepted a

anti-Catholic rhetoric, to

commission for the Cathe-

Sketch of St. John the Divine

dral of St. John the Divine in

which Cram said, “I … express my disgust at the igno-

New York, on Goodhue’s perceived territory. Based on

rance and superstition now rampant and in order that I

the location and style, architectural historians attribute

may go on record as another of those who, though not

most of their works to one partner or the other. The last

Roman Catholics, are nevertheless Americans and are

example of their collaboration, and the strongest example

outraged by this recrudescence of blatant bigotry, operat-

of their shared work, is the Gothic Revival Saint Thomas

ing through the most cowardly and contemptible meth-

Church on Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue, designed by the

ods.” These religious ideals surrounded both his time in

two in 1914. Goodhue embarked on a solo career in the

the press and his architectural work, with Cram designing

late summer of 1913, while Cram and Ferguson continued

numerous prominent churches throughout his career.

to work together on major church and college commissions through the 1930s. Notable works of theirs include

Despite having designed a variety of notable structures

the campus of Rice University in Houston, in addition to

across the United States, Cram is perhaps best known for

Houston’s first city hall and library.

his time at Princeton University, where he served as supervising architect from 1907 to 1929 through a period

Cram was a significant public figure through the 1920s,

of major construction work and was awarded a Doctor of

often mentioned in the press and described as “one of the

Letters for his achievements. Continuing in this collegiate

most prominent Episcopalian laymen in the country” by

vein, he served as chairman of the American Institute of Architects’ Committee on Education in 1907. Additionally, he headed the Architectural Department at Massachusetts Institute of Technology for seven years.

As an author, lecturer, and architect, Cram endorsed the view that the Renaissance had been, at least in part, an unfortunate detour for Western culture. He argued that authentic development could come only from returning to Gothic sources for inspiration, as his Collegiate Gothic architecture did with considerable success. A modernist

First Unitarian Society of Newton, MA

in many respects, Cram is responsible for designing many continued on next page

savoirflairmagazine 37

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All Saints Church, Ashmont Boston, MA Art Deco landmarks of great distinction, including the Federal Building skyscraper in Boston and the East Liberty Presbyterian Church in Pittsburgh. The Rice University campus in Houston also bears Cram’s mark, mixing his modernist and medieval styles. Here, he favored a Roman-

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rounding prairies.

According to architectural historian Sandy Isenstadt, the modernist

Ralph Adams Cram

disdain for Cram “turned out to be modernism’s loss”. Indeed, Peter Cormack, director of the William Morris Gallery in London, asserted that the critical neglect of Cram’s work served to distort the study of the modern architectural history of America, noting that Cram “deserves the same kind of international--and domestic--recognition accorded (all too often uncritically) to his con-

All Saints Church, Peterborough, NH temporary Frank Lloyd Wright”. Between conversations about his potential sexual orientation, the depth of his contributions to Gothic Revival architecture, and the intense competition between he and his colleagues, one thing remains clear: Ralph Adams Cram was a bright and deeply talented man whose architectural works still loom large in many great American cities. irrffllaaiirr ssaavvooi VOL. 12 VOL.

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LGBTQ Travel

THE ROADS LESS TRAVELED Provided by Pride Source Media Group

While our first choice for LGBTQ travel is the local New England destinations such as Provincetown and Ogunquit. There are lesser known choices that have something to offer our community, and with the help of LGBTQ-friendly travel site Orbitz, and Pride Source Media Group we’ve narrowed them down to the best of the bunch.

1. CAMP WONDERFUL IN NEW YORK Leave the glitz and glam of the big city behind and head for the Catskill Mountains where you’ll find a camp for grown-ups unlike its competitors. Camp Wonderful at Timber Lake Camp in Shandaken of-

2. CRUISE ALASKA The Frontier State: So much land, so few people! Lesbian cruise company Olivia offers two Alaska itineraries while RSVP Vacations (now owned by Atlantis) offers a “Summer in Alaska” ship that hits up places like Juneau and Ketchikan. Also, most mainstream cruise ships offer onboard meetups for queer folk.

fers an adult summer-camp experience focused on diversity among campers, building meaningful connections, learning new skills (like pickling vegetables, casting spells, and stargazing), and having a blast in the great outdoors. But there’s a twist: It’s completely alcohol free – because by the time summer closes, we could all stand a detox. Sign up for the “less screen time, more green time” post-Labor Day Weekend session at CampWonderful.com.

3. GAY RODEO IN ARIZONA Gay rodeo is a nationwide phenomenon, and Arizona is as good a place as any to squeeze into your tightest pair of Levi jeans and give the Cowboy life-

40 savoirflairmagazine

style a try. The 34th Annual Arizona Gay Rodeo hap-

Omaha is quickly becoming one of the hippest cit-

pens in Phoenix in February; the World Gay Rodeo

ies in the U.S., and a big part of that is the city’s col-

Finals happen this October in Scottsdale; and then

orful LGBTQ scene. The city doesn’t have a “gaybor-

there’s queer country western bars in Phoenix, in-

hood,” per se, but rather its robust LGBTQ community

cluding Charlie’s, the Cash Nightclub and Lounge,

is well woven into its tapestry, the most worthy part of

and Latin-flavored nightclub Karamba (which hosts

which for travelers is festive Flixx Lounge. With week-

occasional cowboy nights).

end performances featuring both drag queens and drag kings in an eclectic range of comedic, dramatic and even burlesque-themed shows, Flixx will shatter the stereotype you probably have of LGBTQ life in Nebraska.

4. COCKTAILS IN INDIANA Gay bars have the best names (think C.C. Blooms in Edinburgh or Nellie’s in Washington DC), but surely the best of the bunch belongs to the Back Door in Bloomington. Hilarious moniker aside, the Back Door is a LGBTQ bar par excellence located in one of the coolest college towns in America. The crowd is

6. THE VILLAGE IN KENTUCKY

diverse, energetic and friendly as heck, the lineup

No, not the boho-chic Village of NYC fame, but

includes all kinds of crazy cabaret and queer enter-

rather a city block that sits in Louisville’s Smoketown

tainment, and the gay naming even carries over into

neighborhood and formerly home to the legendary

the drink menu. Boozy Bottom anyone? How about a

queer nightclub and entertainment complex The

Citron My Face?

Connection. Now gone, its out owners have kept the block queer by opening Vapor, a men’s spa and bathhouse; Vu Guesthouse, an adult-oriented

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luxury boutique hotel; and The Eatery, its onsite diner. Although LGBTQ nightlife in Derby City has since moved to Bardstown Road, while catching 40 winks at Vu or making new friends at Vapor, consider the three decades of LGBTQ nightlife that happened on this very block.

savoirflairmagazine 41

Custom Gift Jewelry Ideas

by N. McCarty

We all know that the best gifts are unique, creative, and thoughtful. That’s why it’s so touching to receive a piece of custom jewelry. In our community, the gift of jewelry is a beautiful way for a same-gendered couple to celebrate their relationship. If you’re searching for ideas, look no further – we’ve listed some of our favorite pieces with possible custom suggestions here.

This delicate custom bracelet reads “Love Wins” in Morse code, but it can also be customized to include any other secret message for you and your significant other. Shown here with a simple array of nonprecious beads, this bracelet is one of our absolute favorites. You could also include precious or semiprecious stones (or even diamonds!) in a princess and emerald cut signifying dots and dashes to spell out a secret message for you and your partner.

781-894-0523 42 savoirflairmagazine

You could also celebrate the message “Love is Love” which is happily displayed at Pride celebrations across the country. This newer LGBTQ slogan takes center stage in this sterling necklace which can be customized with colored diamonds, rubies, and emeralds to mimic the rainbow colors in a classic white gold setting. Because this necklace isn’t gender specific, it makes a great gift for men, women, or non-binary loved ones.

Looking closely at this elegant steel ring, you’ll see a subtle male symbol featuring a round diamond at the base. This piece could also easily be made with a female symbol and further customized with a titanium or tungsten base. continues on next page

For a bright option, there are these custom engraved rainbow heart rings which have a fresh, whimsical feel to them. Fun and affordable, these rings would make the perfect gift for a friend or for yourself. After all, don’t you deserve some love too? If you’re looking for a more upscale version, you could customize this piece by adding heart-shaped precious stones in a platinum metal base. However you choose to wear your heart on your sleeve (or finger), these rings will make a stylish addition to your jewelry box. savoirflairmagazine 43

The eye-catching custom Pride scalemaille necklace is a fun way to dress up for a Pride event or night on the town. Luckily, this colorful style can easily be replicated by any competent craftsperson. To take this lively piece to the next level, you could add some gemstones or an engraved message onto the iridescent hearts. However, even without gems or a written

continued from previous page

message, this necklace already speaks volumes.

This hand-stamped aluminum cuff bracelet can carry a variety of messages, with “Love Wins” being one of the many popular Pride-based choices. The custom cuff could be created in gold, white gold, or sterling silver too. Changing the engraved typeface to a serif script and adding a simple gemstone would certainly make for an elegant and timeless piece.

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Emily & Laura’s Wedding Interview Questions By Sharon Levine | Photography by Crissy Bayless of Bayless Photography

Laura is a college English professor, originally from Rhode Island. Emily works as a library associate at a university library and she is originally from Kentucky. They currently live in upstate New York.

How did you meet?

We met in Louisville, Kentucky, where Emily is from and where Laura went to grad school. We met online — Emily kept visiting Laura's page until Laura messaged her first. After a few weeks of messaging, we met for coffee and talked for four hours, and at the end of the date Emily took out her animal-themed planner and wrote down a day for a second date — but she got too nervous and canceled when it was coming up. But Laura insisted on rescheduling immediately. Emily is very glad she regained the courage to go on that second date. We started seeing each other all the time after that and have now been together for five years.

46 savoirflairmagazine

What was your proposal like?

Laura proposed! Emily had always said she wanted to be the one to be proposed to, with her grandmother's engagement ring. So Laura had to ask her mom for the ring. She proposed in downtown Louisville in a city park called the Belvedere, which overlooks the Ohio River.

What was your ceremony like?

It was full of personal touches from family and friends. Laura's cousin was the officiant and she wrote the ceremony for us. We had two of our close friends from Kentucky play guitar and sing, and some of Laura's childhood friends did poetry

The Imperial Room reception setting

it from, so we had to keep grabbing new candles (luckily much of our decor was floating candles so they were everywhere). Finally Laura tried and got both tapers lit and handed one to Emily.

readings. At one point we were doing a unity can-

How did you pick your venue for your wedding?

dle ceremony and Emily couldn't get her taper to

We got married at the Imperial Room at One

light because the wax kept dripping and putting

Rhodes Place in Cranston, RI. We were having

out the flame from the candle we were lighting

such a hard time finding a place for a summer continued on next page

Someone wanted to join the ceremony

savoirflairmagazine 47

Emily & Laura’s Wedding continued from previous page

wedding in Rhode Island that was in our budget. When we met with Hillary Williamson at One Rhodes Place, we were so impressed by how knowledgeable and understanding she was. She knew we were on a budget and did such a great job working with us to keep the wedding affordable but still have everything we wanted. What we also loved about the venue was that they did all the decor and the food and bar in-house.

What did you like best about it ?

We were totally willing to trust Hillary and she and the rest of the team there did an amazing job.

For instance, when talking about decor, we looked at some examples and talked about what we liked Below: Emily and Laura with their wedding party

about them, then Hillary came up with something for centerpieces based on that. It was a surprise to us on the wedding day what they looked like, but we both loved them. It made such a huge difference having someone so experienced and also so friendly and caring coordinating our day. We loved how beautiful Hillary and the rest of her team made the rooms for our ceremony and reception.

We also liked how the ceremony and reception were in the same place so it was a seamless transition from one to the next, especially because we had mostly out of town guests.

How many guests, special guests, wedding party?

We had 74 guests, including 6 friends in our wedding party, including five bridesmaids and one

bridesman. Many family and friends were there, including Laura's and Emily's parents and other loved ones from nearby and far away.

Please describe the decor.

Our colors were purple and green (all different shades). Most of the decor was done with floating candles in vases and hydrangeas on the tables. We also had twinkle lights in the ceiling.

What was the most memorable moment?

We had a first dance between us, and then both Laura and Emily had individual dances with their dads. After that, one of Emily's bridesmaids grabbed her hand and started dancing with her, then one of Laura's bridesmaids did the same, and we ended up having an impromptu friends dance! It was hilarious and a lot of people thought we had planned it, but it was totally spontaneous.

We loved it because it showed how important our close friends are to us.

Below: The traditional wedding ceremony kiss

Above: Laura and Emily first dance at the reception

Other special moments?

All the moments were special! We had a really special moment soon after our ceremony when Emily and I were just sitting together quietly on the stairs being like "we just got married!" and our photographer caught it. During our first dance, which we had practiced for in our living room because Laura is afraid of dancing, we would spin each other around and it was really sweet. We also loved how many personal touches from family and friends there were. Instead of a guestbook, we had a gorgeous wooden box that Laura's dad made, and guests wrote wishes on old library date-due cards from the backs of books and put them in the box, which we now have displayed in our apartment. Laura's mom had also surprised us with some adorable unicorn and rainbow themed pens for people to use to sign the cards, and then Laucontinued on next page

savoirflairmagazine 49

Emily & Laura’s Wedding continued from previous page

ra's mom and Emily's mom also used the unicorn pens to sign as witnesses on our wedding license.

We had so many fun moments with our wedding party, such as when one of Emily's friends picked her up for a picture and cracked up the photographer.

Any favorite stories of guests or experiences from your event?

During our ceremony, our friends' one-year-old baby tried to crawl down the aisle after us, and

started crying, and she warned us that during the

her mom had to pick her up and hold her.

actual ceremony she and Laura's mom would be

Emily had given a toast at her sister's wedding,

"the hot mess express."

and so Emily's sister gave the toast at our wedding, and she referenced some of the same things

Can you describe the cake and cuisine?

that Emily talked about in her toast years before.

Our cake was from Wright's Farm in Rhode Is-

At our rehearsal, one of our friends who was do-

land, and it was a three-tiered lemon cake with

ing a reading was already so happy-emotional she

buttercream frosting. It was white with purple and

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Above: Laura and Emily on the grounds of One Rhodes Place

green accents. Afterwards a lot of people came up to us and said that even though they don't usually like cake, they loved ours. The cuisine came from the kitchen at our venue, and we had a buffet including Caesar salad, two pasta dishes, lemon chicken, broccoli, green beans, and roasted potatoes, which was awesome because everyone could get however much of what they wanted. The staff fixed Emily and Laura their own plates with some of everything on it, so we actually got to eat at our own wedding, which we know many people miss out on.

What was special about your honeymoon ?

We went to Montreal for a long weekend. We stayed at an incredibly cute bed and breakfast, Angelica Blue, and spent every day exploring the continued on next page

savoirflairmagazine 51

Above: Emily and Laura share a quiet moment right after their ceremony continued from previous page

city, which neither of us had

together. Everything we ate was

visited before. We found two

absolutely delicious, from pom-

street fairs and did some thrift shopping, which we love to do

mes frites to bagels fresh out of the oven.

Below: Laura and Emily with their wedding party in a joyous pose

52 savoirflairmagazine

Is there anything you'd like to add?

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By John Axelrod Many LGBTQ people enjoy accessorizing, but don’t our cars deserve to make a statement too? It can be as simple as a rainbow air freshener, a colorful boa wrapped around a steering wheel, or a leopard-patterned seat cover. These are expressions of individuality, transforming old clunkers into snazzy, campy club cars. One of our favorite around town club car is decoupage leopard wrapping paper on the side of one of a early ’80s Brady Bunch-style station wagons. Another extravagant vehicle is packed full of ’70s goodies; think disco balls and a disco light in the back window.

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Another lover of vehicular campi-

playing magazines that feature

ness has chosen specific stylish

the same vehicle they drive in.

themes for four of his tomobiles.

One of his ’70s cars is decked out

On one sunny Saturday in Sep-

with old auto magazines, a vin-

tember, Saviorflair had the plea-

tage picnic basket, orange plastic

sure of seeing some of the campi-

traveling cups, and a round Pana-

est vehicles in our community at

sonic radio that hangs on a chain

the Yankee Lambda Car Club’s

from the rearview mirror. His

Provincetown Invitational Show

jungle-themed car boasts leopard

and Parade. For those of you not

pillows, while another has flames

familiar with this popular vintage

on the sides and skulls in the back,

car group, the Yankee chapter is

modeled after a Hot Wheels toy.

part of Lambda Car Club Inter-

Other auto aficionados with clas-

national. Founded in 1981, LCCI

sic cars choose to go meta, dis-

now boasts over 2,200 members continues on page 58

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Camping Up Your Car

continued from page 55

in 30 local chapters from coast to coast in the United States

Another fun feature for lovers of all things

and Canada. Every member shares the same passion for all

camp was the passenger seated in the back of a

things automotive. The campiest car we laid eyes on at the

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Camping Up Your Car of Provincetown’s shoulder season, and what’s more, there’s no cost to see these vintage beauties or enjoy the afternoon parade in downtown, which spans the length of Commercial Street.

While the possibilities for auto accessories are endless, some go-to options are fuzzy dice, stuffed animals from the ’50s, and Barbie and Ken dolls. These plastic playmates make fun fixtures on the most flamboyant cars. Attach them to the dashboard or let them hang out in the back window, and camp it up by pairing Ken-and-Ken or Barbie-and-Barbie

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