savoirflair Complimentary Copy
2012 Vol. 4
New England’s lgbt Magazine
www.linkpink.com • KP MEDIA Publication
Daughters & Sons Of LGBT Parents Speak
TOP TO Bottom Advice
Gay Men + Plastic Surgery More Choices
big & lavish Gay Wedding
first person account
Provincetown’s Dune Shacks
Martin Anderson’s Photos
Your Housing Prayers Answered
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14 Provincetown’s Dune Shacks
Martin Anderson’s unique photographs using a pin hole camera
Gay Men + Plastic Surgery by Joe Manghise • Gay men have more choices to improve their looks
Our Kids Speak by Flavia Francesquini• Children of LGBT parents share their experiences
Church Conversions by Sharon Levine • The answer to your housing prayers
Here Kitty Kitty by Ken Staples and Don Romano • For the Love of Ragdolls cats
Big and Lavish GAY WEDDING by Elizabeth Gromley • An Extravagant Gay wedding that will amaze!
departments Home Design; Top To Bottom by Jen Simon • Design suggestions with advice
Lesbian and Gay Vampires
50 Home Improvement
Top To Bottom
MarketPlace SERVICE DIRECTORY 75 Eastern Massachusetts
8 FILM /TV
Boston Provincetown Publisher Mary Kennedy
EDITOR Sharon Levine
Writers Wendy Mimran | Henry Levine | Mark Adams Elizabeth Gromley | Joe Manghise | Flavia Francesquini Sales Rena Berman, Sales Director Wendy Mimran, Sales Development Manager Meshell Graham | Sharon Levine | Nicholas McCarty Mark Davis | David Coleman | Natalie West Production Carl Lopez | Jenna Simon | Orella DeVille, Intern Cleo Marie | Kwame Byrd | Pixie Chavez
Massachusetts Connecticut Maine Vermont New Hampshire Rhode Island
Photography Cover: by Imagery Majestic Joe Gallo | Martin Anderson | Jenny French Distribution Boston Phoenix Distribution | MABWorks Durel Distribution Advertising Information All inquires may be addressed to KP Media, 66 Charles St., # 283 Boston, MA 02114 (617) 423-1515, Fax: (617) 423-7147 e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org ÂŠ2012 All Rights Reserved. M. Kennedy Publishing, Inc. Savoir Flair may not be reproduced in part or whole without the written permission of the publisher. Advertising content is the sole responsibility of individual advertisers.
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Lesbian + Gay Vampire Movies by Mark Adams Vampires are everywhere. Yes, vampires. And werewolves and, oh my, even fairies. This latest round of Vampire-mania jump-started with the HBO series “True Blood,” which began interestingly enough , featuring enough “skin” to pique anyone’s prurient interests, but then go so convoluted, even I gave up on it and went back to “Desperate Housewives” (I know, so shoot me). Vampire movies have been around forever, with some of the earliest being the best. Well, at least for someone in their early teens watching the movie madness on the local independent TV stations. Who can forget the “classic” from 1936 “Dracula’s Daughter?” Certainly not what you’d call a “gay-themed” movie (did they even have those in the mid-30’s...), it did feature, along with the glamorous “B” actress Gloria Holden, one of the great lines in film history, “I don’t drink.Wine.” With a couple of female victims, it had a certain covert lesbian appeal. 1960’s “Blood and Roses” is generally considered to be among the first of the sexual vampire movies. Adapted from Sheridan LeFanu’s novel “Carmilla” and directed by Roger Vadim, the film also featured some nudity, with the heroine Carmilla having a definite affinity for the ladies, particularly lead actress Elsa Martinelli. And I’d certainly be amiss not to mention 1983’s “The Hunger,” THE lesbian vampire movie, according to lesbian friends who know these things, with Catherine Deneuve seducing Susan Sarandon, and could she be more butch in this one. And Dawn Addams is in this one, too. What more could you ask. But enough about the lesbians (love ‘em, but I haven’t been one for years). We’re in the year 2012 now, and all you need do is subscribe to a couple of second tier cable channels to get your fill of gayness in vampires, be they male or female. Just don’t expect them to be potential award-winners. Did you see any episodes of the several seasons of “The Lair?” It could only have run that long on a channel named “HERE!,” with an exclamation point. It was originally titled “Dante’s Lair,”a spin-off of another gem called “Dante’s Cove.” “The Lair” was a gay club run by vampires, who used the club as a source for attractive men to feed from. Obviously made before vampires had access to “the Man-line,” as my friend Ms. Scarlett calls it, it came as close to being gay porn as possible without actually being porn. And it had, as its “big name star,” the amazing Tracy Scoggins. You know her. She played “The Cat” on “The Adventures of Lois and Clark” back in the 90s, and then moved on to “Babylon 5.” Oh- and how could I forget. It also featured gay porn “star” Johnny Hazzard. It was great fun to watch. Painful, but fun, and lots of cute guys and gals. The past year, MTV entered into the “series” mode with a remake of the 1985 film “Teen Wolf.” Replacing Michael J. Fox in this contemporary version of the high-schooler-turned-werewolf thing is Tyler Posey, who I thought was a girl (what’s in a name...). Tyler is actually a cutie dork who is, lord help us, turned into a werewolf. The poor dear is just so adorable...as is most of the youthful cast, particularly Colton Haynes, who is actually much older than a teenager in real life, which makes my lust perfectly acceptable. I was one of probably many who poo-pooed this when it first aired, but the comments on Twitter were just so positive from the gay community that I had to give it a try. And it was actually pretty good. Maybe not as good as MTV’s later attempt at comedy called “Awkward.,” but I digress and wlll definitely have to do something on this one at a later time. “Teen Wolf” is currently all-werewolf-all-the-time, but I hear there’s a gay character on the way, and perhaps he’ll be a vampire. Those damn wereolves are everywhere! Are you still with “The Vampire Diaries?” Every time I stumble onto it on the CW (can anyone believe this network is still around....), I want
to hit the “delete” button on my TiVO, but something, usually a shirtless scene with Ian Somerholder or Paul Wesley, (I’m not picky,) changes my mind. And I hear that this season they’re going to be using the gay character more often. As played by Jack Coleman, who was the second Steven Carrington on “Dynasty” (anyone remember the first?) and later on “The Colbys,” he’s still looking mighty good, and still a mean sonofabitch. Some other vampire classics (and I use the term loosely) of a gay nature you might want to check out include the 1973 film “Drag-ula,” directed by James Moss, a short movie about a Harlem hairdresser who becomes a vampire and whoever he bites turns into...a drag queen. Of course he does. Then there’s “Gayracula,” directed by Roger Earl, in which the Count is back and “this time he’s sucking more than just necks,” if you catch my drift. Described by some as “a bit odd,” this one’s from 1983 and is, for all intents and purposes, a porn film, but you can catch a PG-ish clip from it on YouTube (just Google it) and see what you’re missing. Lastly, I wish I could find a clip from a 1963 movie called “The Death of PTown,” altho the entire film, or what there was of it, only runs 7 minutes. Directed by Ken Jacobs, the summary from the New York Times (yes, the NYT actually stooped to....er, wrote a review of this) that a violent argument between actor Jack Smith and Jacobs caused the film to be canned. Jacobs took whatever footage he’d shot and turned into a silent short. A title card in the film explains that Smith “would have starred as the Fairy Vampire.” The Times added that Smith lives up to that description and “is seen madly cavorting in a Provincetown graveyard, dressed in a dirty old nightgown.” Did I mention I’m not making this up?
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Martin R. Anderson | C-Scape 1975
In July of 1975 The Cape Cod Community Compact awarded me a three week fellowship for a residency at C-Scape, one of the dune shacks in the Provincelands.
Excerpts from what I wrote in my application for the residency: I begin my request for a C-Scape residency with this picture (right) taken by my mother in 1957. The dune shack is owned by Eunice (left in the photo) and Ted Braaten, who live next door to us in Connecticut. I am the six-year-old boy in the middle with my brother on the right. This is the highlight of my summer.
dune shacks of provincetown
I have visited the dunes every year from almost the time I was born. But I have never experienced living there day to day and I have never spent the night. Since I first drove over the sand hills in Eunice's Willyâ€™s Jeep, I have wanted to do so.
For many of my photographs, I construct pinhole cans from recycled tin cans and hardware store supplies. I consider the process to be as much craft as art. Photographic paper is used for the negative and after it is developed and dried a positive contact print is made. From beginning to end, my fingers touch every part of the process.
There seems to be something in this way of making photographs that could record my experience of finally living in solitude for a time in the shifting sands as well as being able to
Dune Shack Origins Erected by the Life Saving Serviceâ€”precursor to the Coast Guardâ€”as shelters for seamen during the late 19th century along a three-mile stretch of mountainous dunes and alternating valleys of scrub pine from Race Point, Provincetown to High Head, Truro. These shacks have no electricity, no running water, no toilets, no modern conveniences whatsoever.
Martin R. Anderson | C-SCAPE 1975 | dune shacks of provincetown reflect the long history of those who came to the dunes by choice to live in a primitive way. Since using my first pinhole device in Provincetown, I have begun to consider that selfconstructed pinhole cameras bear the same relationship to finely crafted cameras as dune shacks do to well-built homes. Crude as they might be, they do take pictures in the case of the former and they do provide shelter in the case of the latter.
Martin R. Anderson | C-SCAPE 1975 | dune shacks of provincetown C-Scape, 2005 Self Portrait #6 pinhole
Because of the long exposure for most pinhole photographs, I was able to put myself into the majority of photographs I made there, recording in the dark chamber (camera obscura) of my pinhole devices, at long last living the dune shack life some 52 years since I first visited there.
Martin R. Anderson, November 2011 www.martinranderson.com email: email@example.com
Photo By: Imagery majestic
Gay Men +
More Choices, More Reasons by Joe Manghise
Plastic Surgery by Joseph Manghise Anyone who’s seen an episode of Logo’s The A-List: New York knows that the uninhibited cast has no problem living out loud for the cameras. They freely hurl drinks, cheat on their boyfriends and give naked cam shows online. The guys also don’t shy away from getting Botox injections, lip-plumping shots and teeth-whitening procedures. And, these days, they’re not exactly in the minority. According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS), more than one million men had cosmetic surgery or a noninvasive cosmetic procedure in 2011. There isn’t any data available on how many of those men are homosexual, but to many gay men, who usually have no children and sometimes have discretionary income, appearance is of optimal importance. After all, attractive and younger-looking men are invited to parties, get more dates and receive preferential treatment in the gay world. Right? Physical beauty has been an aspect of gay male culture since ancient Greece, but the emphasis on looks may be hard-wired into many straight men as well. And although a great personality may impress some, it seems that looking absolutely fabulous is the most important attribute for many, both gay and straight.
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Gay Men + Plastic Surgery continued from the previous page
So what exactly are these men having done? The ASAPS reports that the most common surgical procedures for the male population are (in this order) liposuction (for dealing with love handles or excessive fat in the abdomen region); eyelid surgery (for reducing the look of aging brought on by drooping lids and bags under the eyes, which can also be congenital); rhinoplasty (nose surgery is still popular after all these years!); and male breast reduction, also via liposuction (gynecomastia, or male breast enlargement, is usually hereditary but can also be the result of being overweight or having certain medical conditions). But according to Dr. William H. Truswell of the Aesthetic Laser and Cosmetic Surgery Center in Northampton, Massachusetts, his male patients also have dermabrasion (to remove blemishes or scars by abrasion), chemical peels (to get rid of wrinkles via the application of an acid), Botox (which paralyzes muscles to correct defects and depressions in the skin) and fillers (to erase crow’s-feet, creases between the eyebrows and scowl lines in the forehead). Restylane, Juvéderm and Sculptra (originally developed for facial wasting in people with AIDS) are popular fillers that replace lost volume and fill in deeper wrinkles and folds for facial contouring. Both Botox and fillers are only temporary solutions, with Botox lasting up to six months and fillers typically lasting longer, from one to three years. Rhinoplasty has always been popular with men, but Truswell says that he has seen a definite increase in the past five to 10 years in the number of male clients having other work done, including face-lifts. “In the past, if a guy had a big bumpy nose, he wouldn’t hesitate to have it fixed,” Truswell says, “but nowadays men are just as aware as women
Gay Men + Plastic Surgery of how they look. They want to look good; they want to look younger.” As they approach their forties, men start to feel anxiety and stress when they look in the mirror. “That’s when the turkey waddle under the neck starts,” Truswell says, “also the lines around the eyes and bags under the eyes. So men start to look for ways to refresh and rejuvenate themselves.” Although the majority of cosmetic surgery patients are female (87 percent), the number of male patients is rising, and they have similar needs. Dr. Kenneth A. Marshall, who heads the New England Center for Plastic Surgery in Wellesley, and is also chief of plastic surgery at Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge, says that he encourages all new patients to communicate their wants. “I hand them a mirror and tell them to show me what they don’t like,” he says. “Then I show them pictures on my Web site, telling them,‘You won’t look exactly like this, because everyone is anatomically different, but this can be our goal.’ Some patients treat us as fairy godmothers. We rarely achieve perfection—there is a cer-
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OUR kids Speak
Daughters and Sons Of LGBT Parents Let Us Know What They Think
by Flavia Francesquini Can same-sex couples raise happy, well adjusted children? This is a question that has been raised in court rooms all over the world. It is also an issue that comes up in many homes across the globe as more and more members of the LGBTQ community choose to become parents. Most fervent opponents of such families fail to comprehend that same sex couples have been raising children for generations. Our community has not always been visible to the main stream and it is not surprising that fear of homophobia, unfair laws and retaliation by a biological parent or family member have all played a role on keeping our families a secret. It does not mean that they did not exist in the past, it means simply that we have learned to adapt our behaviors to keep the children safe, and away from prejudice and hatred. Ironically, if there was ever a looming risk to the sons and daughters raised by gays, lesbians, bisexuals or transgender parents, it came from the ignorant minds of those looking to shame, punish and break such families apart. Nearly two decades ago I chose to become a parent. I was in a steady long term relationship and like many happy couples, we wanted a family that included a child. For most of us in same-sex relationships, having a baby is never an accident. It is a well thought plan that entails a great amount of perseverance. We decided to go with a donor we knew because we knew that he was the perfect option for us. I became pregnant by artificial insemination and had a boy who is now fifteen and a high school freshman. Ours is a family of very diverse backgrounds as we have all been born and raised in different countries. We vary in ethnicity, race and personal tastes but we have one thing in common, the intense desire to see that our son becomes the happiest and best contribution to the world that he can be. From the time that he was born I have made conscious choices about the places we live and the schools he would attend in order to create a safe environment in which he can speak freely about his family life. When he was in kindergarten another child asked him why he had two moms and his answer summarized his world as he saw it, “they both wanted me.” As he grows older the questions he hears become more complex but the underlying curiosity seems to be the same, how is it to be part of a family that doesn’t fit the societal norm. His answers have also become more sophisticated over time but his attitude has not changed. He was recently asked if it bothered him that all his parents were gay and he said simply “why would it?” This is a question that should be posed to all who wonder about the value of raising a child in a loving setting, be it conventional or unconventional.
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OUR kids Speak______________________________________________________________________________ Hawaii’s laws to evolve, they traveled all One family we visited was that ofTambry, the way to Massachusetts to get married Suzanne and Shuler. For Tambry and Su- in a beautiful outdoor ceremony.Shyler’ s zanne, having a baby was the icing on the take on her moms wedding? “It was fun cake.Afterbeingtogetherfornearlytwenty but since I’m an only child I had a lot to years there was no doubt that they were do. I had to be flower girl, ring bearer and ready for the responsibility.They decided I had to help with the dress!”.Her parents Anais, Photo By Anais on an anonymous donor and became the are now fighting to see that their marraised by lesbians she points out that it’s beaming parents of Shyler twelve years riage becomes recognized in their home like having any set of parents,“you get ago.They live in Hawaii, a State that has State.Their incredible commitment to sodouble the attention” she tells me.As just recently passed a bill allowing civil cial justice and their hands on approach far as things she would change in her unions,which will become legal as of Janu- to achieving equal rights to all is part of ary 1, 2012. For this couple however, this what they hope to pass along to Shyler. household, she would like a sibling. is long overdue.In 2009,tired of waiting for When asked about her thoughts on being For Anais, 19, having a lesbian mom continued from previous page
has never been an issue, “I was 6 or 7 when she told me but the fact that I don’t really remember when it was that I found out gives light to how much of a non-event it was.” Despite coming from Haiti, a country whose culture is a bit more conservative, Anais’ mother has succeeded in instilling a sense of self-assurance and confidence in her household that transcends preconceived ideas of normalcy and substitutes clichés for a family model that works for both mother and daughter. When asked about the disadvantages of having a lesbian mom, Anais reports that “I never think about my mother being gay, in the same way that I don’t think about my friends being straight. It’s a non-issue.” Justyn is 17 years old and a freshman in college. His family is one of the most diverse I have come across. His biological parents, Ty and David, separated when he was a toddler and each of them got involved with new partners who eventually Suzanne, Shylar and Tambry
______________________________________________________________________________OUR kids Speak
Tynan Power, Tim Thrower, Justyn, David (Justyn’s biological father), and Randy in June 2011 at the Northampton High School graduation ceremony. Photo credit: Yahya Alazrak (Justyn’s brother)
assumed the role of step-parents in Justyn’s life. David’s new partner, a cisgender named Tim, came into the picture pretty early on and has played an important part in raising Justyn. Ty has been with his current partner, Randy, for five years and according to Ty, Randy’s role has also become “Increasingly parental over time.” To add to the diversity, when Justyn was about 8 years old Ty, his biological mom, transitioned from female to male. Although in some public contexts Ty refers to himself simply as Justyn’s parent, at home he is still mother. Justyn also has an older brother, Ty’s son from a previous relationship, and
they are both currently attending the same college. At the age where most young men have just began to come to terms with their own identity, Justyn’s grasp of the world around him and how he, and his family, fits into it is quite impressive. He is perfectly capable of explaining his family tree to anyone who asks but he admits that when he was younger he would be “irritated that people didn’t get it” and that in middle school he became a little closeted about his family, but he quickly adds that it finally occurred to him that his friends would be his friends no matter what his family structure looked like.
If there is any doubt regarding the chances of such family being able to sustain a healthy and loving relationship with one another, this is what Justyn had to say about his parents: I have always been happy with my family life. I have very different relationships with each one of my parents. If I have a relationship problem I go to Ty, if I have a philosophical query, I go to my dad, If I’m curious about something like drugs, I ask Tim. If I want to talk about theatre or music I talk to Randy. Granted, there is a lot of overlap here; they each give advice differently and personally. I like that. They have had such different life continues on page 69 savoirflairmagazine 27
Bell Tower Place Watertown
The Answer to Your Housing Prayers... 28 savoirflairmagazine
Top/Bottom: Bell Towerâ€™s Dramatic sweeping livingroom
By Sharon Levine Many communities in New England have experienced population shifts in recent years. These shifts along with trends in the larger society have resulted in many religious structures, places of worship, and related buildings such as directories, schools, and halls, no longer being used for their intended purposes. Many of these have been converted into unique and dramatic residences. These buildings with features such as cathedral ceilings, arched doorways, elaborate mouldings, stained glass and/or Gothic windows and even bell towers have been turned into spectacular homes. savoirflairmagazine 29
134 Mt Auburn StReet Watertown Photos courtesy of Mary Kelleher, Gibson Sothebyâ€™s International Real Estate
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Here Kitty Kitty
For the Love of Ragdolls by Ken Staples and Don Romano
In October of 2002 my partner Don and I and our son and daughter attended a wedding in New York City. Never would one think that attending a family wedding could change someoneâ€™s life so much. While in New York I walked into a pet store and saw a kitten that I instantly fell in love with. I found out she was a seal mitted Ragdoll. Normally you will not find this breed of kittens in a pet store but the owners of the pet store were also Ragdoll breeders so there she was. I went back to the hotel room to get Don so he could see her and then convinced him I had to have her. Convincing him was not so hard as I had the two kids to beg him as well. We took her home and one of the first things I had to do was take her to visit my Aunt Elizabeth. My Aunt had been diagnosed with cancer and I was taking care of her so it was just natural to want to share my new baby with her. The minute I placed her in the bed the kitten cuddled up with my Aunt and began to purr. My Aunt smiled like she had not smiled in a very long time. It was at that moment that I knew my new Ragdoll baby was to be named after my Aunt so we chose Lizabeth. They shared the nick name Lizzy. continues on page 38
Left: Ken Stapleton with Supreme Grand Champion Ransdells Lady Cordelia of Kasseldolls Photo: Don Romano
continued from the previous pages
The home based cattery was remodeled to meet the needs of the cats
I was fascinated with this kitten. She was not only beautiful but had the sweetest disposition I had ever encountered in a kitten.
I began to research the breed
on the internet and the more I read the more impressed I became. After reading all about Ragdolls I decided I wanted to breed them and show them. Ragdolls are best known for their docile temperament and extremely affectionate personality. They are the most gentle and easy going breed of cat. The name Ragdoll comes from the fact that most of these cats will go limp when you pick them up.
Ragdolls have blue eyes.
if needed. Kittens are raised as part of
Once I decided I was going to show and
the home so they can live as perfect pets
breed Ragdolls I had to set up my cattery.
when they move to their forever home!
Our cattery name is Kasseldolls. I chose
In 2004, after learning as much as we
this name because I have always loved
could about the breed, setting up our
the medieval times. I love the romance,
website and preparing our cattery we
the loyalty, the strength and the power
decided it was time to buy our first show
of it all. I think the Ragdoll fits this theme
breeder kitten and get to the shows.
very well.They are a strong, powerful cat
contacted several breeders in the USA
but very loving and loyal to their humans.
and found a breeder who was willing to
They have the body for strength and the
mentor me in my new endeavor. I pur-
heart for love. I chose to spell it the
chased my first show breeder Ransdells
way I did because KAS are my initials. I
Guenivere of Kasseldolls and was on my
thought I could still use the castle theme but have a name that was unique. Our cattery is a home based cattery. We do not believe in caging any of our cats. We have a 13 room home so there is plenty of space for separating the boys from the girls and the babies from the house was remodeled to meet the needs
Kasseldolls Sergio Il Mio Amore (which means Sergio MY LOVE) Chocolate Bicolor Ragdoll owned by Lisa Barsalona
of our cats while remaining a beautiful
way. You may think that is a big name for
home. The majority of the doors are
a small kitten so let me explain how the
general population without caging. The
name of a show cats works. The name
Ragdolls are medium to large cats. They
of the cattery that produced the kitten
have medium to semi long hair. A Rag-
goes in front of the name. The name of
doll’s coat typically requires minimal care pointed patterns of three different types: colorpoint, mitted and bicolor. Their coat colors come in blue, seal, lilac, chocolate,
the cattery that owns the kitten is added
Photo: Lisa Barsalona
and usually does not matt. They come in
on to the end of the name. This way if a kitten or cat is shown others know who bred the cat and who owns the cat. Guenivere went on to be a Supreme
red, cream and tortie which is another color mixed with the red or cream. This would appear similar to a calico. In addition any pattern may have tabby striping over lay. This is called Lynx. My personal favorite is the lynx in any pattern. The most important thing about the Ragdoll is it is a blue eyed pointed cat. All true
Photo: Lisa Barsalona
Photo: Lisa Barsalona
Here Kitty Kitty
Grand Champion – highest title you can Chocolate Color Point male Ragdoll kitten Kasseldolls Ghirardeli of Creekcats Ragdolls
earn as well as a Regional Winner!
glass so even when separated they can
is. Unlike a dog show we do not trot
see each other. There are rooms spe-
our cats around a ring. As entertaining
cifically designed for cat needs such as
as that may sound I don’t think it would
grooming, kitten rearing and quarantine
work. At a cat show the cats are judged
You may be wondering what a cat show
continues on page 67
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Big & Lavish
Gay Wedding By Elizabeth Gormley I work on the thirty-third floor of a skyscraper in downtown Boston that, if you look closely, has broad win-
dows at the top that are incongruent with the rest of the building. The building is a brown granite mass, with uniform dark windows creeping vertically along the crystalline rock exterior. A large chunk of the building is inhabited by one of the world’s biggest law firms. There are bankers, architects, more lawyers, and something called The Television Advisory Board.
Floor by floor, there is money. And it is quiet.
Except where I work, there is money, but it isn’t quiet. I am a bartender at a private event space with
an exquisite view. Get off the elevator on thirty-three, and you can turn left or right to one of three rooms where we might be setting up for an event—a dinner, an auction, a political fundraiser, a wedding. The hardwood floors are polished, shining in the afternoon sunlight. The tables are getting set with gleaming glass and silver. A florist might be finishing the spindling centerpieces. If it’s a wedding, the laser-precise cake sits on a table in the room, impervious to the big band plugging in and warming up. In the kitchen, the prep happens by rote, but the routine is filet mignon, Waldorf salads, boats of large shrimp cocktail, rolls of maki, and maybe a few hundred sweet intermezzos.
Doing the math, I have worked over five hundred weddings. It’s astounding to think of all those
gowns that must collectively cost millions, all those speeches, and all the times I’ve heard the Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling.”
It is also astounding to think that out of all these weddings, only four have been LGBT.
One of the LGBT wedding I worked happened to be one of the longest and most extravagant affairs I have
The ceremony was on-site for the two young men. Over two hundred chairs were arranged in a semi-circle,
facing the huge windows that look out to downtown, the harbor, the airport, and beyond. We couldn’t believe it when we got to work—after the ceremony and standard five-hour reception, there was a three-hour after-party. We were looking at an eight-hour party, a twelve-hour workday. The men getting married met in med school, we were told. Both of their fathers were doctors, one a well-known brain surgeon. continues on page 45 savoirflairmagazine 41
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A Big and Lavish Gay Wedding continued from page 41
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The guests trickled in. The big
room was dim. There were beeswax candles in pewter lanterns, and red rose petals along the aisle. There was a table up front with three more candles, under the chuppa canopy. This is the only LGBT I have worked that was religious. There was a female rabbi who married the men. They looked very young to me, handsome, ruddy, excited. One was blond, one dark. In fact, downstairs somewhere, the cake was
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topped with resin replicas of the two men, down to their hair and their suits and ties, which were black Giorgio Armani. One tie was white, and one tie was black. They were otherwise identical. Both men said “mazel tov!” and there were two champagne flutes wrapped in linen that they stomped.
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A Big and Lavish Gay Wedding continued from page 45
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Big and Lavish Gay Wedding
continued from the previous page
They weren’t heavy drinkers, but heavy dancers with a lot of stamina. After all the Motown, the funk, Michael Jackson, soul, Rick James, even Lady Gaga, the big brass band packed up at eleven o’clock. Another crew came and quickly installed an LED dance floor, when normally we would be breaking down the bar and calling it a wedding. This was the 80’s after-party. A projector screen dropped over the top of the big windows, and Duran Duran, Madonna, Prince, and Wham, among others, had videos going on a reel until 2 am. The older guests left, but the wedding was so big that there were many people still there by the time “Material Girl” wrapped it up. Party favors by the elevator were chocolates by Lindt, in white boxes with the grooms’ first names on the ribbons. Was it just another wedding? It was and it wasn’t. I will be honest—it was a long, long night. But that’s the kind of wedding you can have if you’ve got the dough. This is how far it’s come. I hope someday I work so many big, long LGBT weddings that I can’t really remember the details of what the specialty drink was, what the brides’/grooms’ cake topper looked like, or how gay the color scheme. Like the hundreds of heterosexual weddings I’ve worked, I hope all the others become so routine they all meld together, like a beautiful ice swan losing its shape at the end of another long, hot night over the city. Elizabeth Gromley is a writer and bartender living in Boston.
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Home Design Top To Bottom Compiled by Jen Simon
The gay community is passionate about the design of both the interior and exterior of our homes. While styles can differ, careful attention to some home basics will keep the home stylishly attractive and fresh. Savoir Flair will give you top to bottom design tips. Tips that will help you make the right house choices.
Ceilings, ‘the top of the room’ set the mood for a room. Height, ornamentation, colors and materials play a vital role in how a ceiling can impact a room. High ceilings have an airy feel while a lower ceiling can make for a cozy secure feel. Conversely high ceilings can sometimes lead to an overwhelming feeling while low ceilings can make one feel cramped and claustrophobic. Some ceilings feel oppressively low. A sky blue ceiling will always make you feel as though you are outside on a clear day. Furniture height should always be low in this case, visually expanding the space between floor / furniture and ceiling. Rooms feel most comfortable when they are squares or fat rectangles. A tall ceiling in a small space makes you feel as though you’re in an elevator shaft. There are many ways to compensate for this. Ceiling ornamentation that borders the upper trim for example, is strong architectural detail that will draw the eye down from the ceiling. Painting your ceiling a darker color can also give the effect of lowering the ceiling.
In the eighteenth century New England, small rooms with low ceiling were easier to heat. The same applies today. Small rooms with low ceilings in old houses can have an exclusive charm and atmosphere. Built for the local climate, these small rooms make you feel cozy, not cramped, when the colors are cheerful and there’s good lighting. You can still visually increase the vertical space on the walls with upward flowing pilasters to create the illusion of ceiling height. Actually increasing the height of a room is of course trickier, but in some cases it is possible to cut out or remove a ceiling, opening up your room to the entire height of the roof by creating a vaulted ceiling. This may provide you with an extra window from an attic wall, or you may follow up by installing a skylight yourself. The older suspended ceilings can be unattractive; good for offices but not for the home. Today there are many unique panels that can enhance your home, including dimension panels of varying color and surface. Pressed tin, copper and other attractive faux finishes can give your room a wonderful unique quality. A big plus with the suspended ceiling is that it transforms a flat and overwhelming space - a way to sculpt the room from a box to a uniquely shaped masterful space. continues on the following page
continued from the previous page
There is almost an infinite number of wall materials for use in homes today, the most common being sheetrock. Some other options beyond this include brick, faux stone, metal, tile, wood, traditional plaster over lathes as well as lots of panel options. A faux stone wall around a fireplace can give a living room a dramatic, rustic feel but it is something you might refrain from using in a bedroom. The material you choose depends on the style of your interiors as well as, of course, your budget. Using a combination of wall materials can lend itself to a style such as a bead board panel under a chair rail in a kitchen. This can provide a country, homey appearance. Stainless metal wall panels with tile in a kitchen can give a creative, contemporary, yet functional appearance. Of course the easiest and most common way to revive a wall or roomâ€™s appearance is through a nice new coat of wallpaper or paint.
There is a plethora of advice on the web regarding paint colors. The standard advice is as follows: Light colors make smaller rooms seem larger and dark colors can make larger rooms appear cozier or smaller. Beyond color there are many painting techniques that can enhance the overall look of a room, such as the backsplash wall, a perfect place to put in an accent color and liven up an entire kitchen. The back wall of a built-in bookshelf painted in a contrasting color for example, will highlight your books.
Unusual Shapes Break up the accent wall with wood strips and molding, and paint them in the trim color. Draw a square, rectangular, a half-circle, fill it with an accent color and then outline it with strips of molding for a more finished look.
Home Design; Top To Bottom Dimensional Finishes Instead of using regular paint and a solid color for painting your accent wall, try faux painting finishes like venetian plaster, antique crackle or stone imitations. Adding a mural to the accent wall is a bold move but can make your room come alive and with a unique theme and mood. You don’t have to use paint in order to create an accent wall wallpaper is a great alternative and is just as versatile and beautiful.
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Decadent Colors Consider a gold, silver or copper leaf finish for your feature wall - the result can be breath-taking. A cheaper, faster and easier way is to use metallic paint - it will look subtler but will still add dazzle. One of the boldest wall painting ideas (not for the faint of heart) is a black accent wall. Most people are afraid of black color and think it will look goth and depressing. But when done right, a black accent wall can look absolutely stunning and even fresh, positive and inviting. But the key to pulling off the black is to keep the furniture, flooring and ceilings light. continues on the following page
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Home Design; Top To Bottom
continued from the previous page
Floors Although floors are somewhere we lay our feet, more often than our eyes, hidden by furniture and carpets, they will still greatly affect the overall tone of a room. The type of floor you choose will partially dictate the particular style and light of your home. One must also consider the functionality of a floor; as it is the most used surface of a room, and choose materials appropriate to its specific use, such as hygiene and heating considerations. Moreover, you need to keep in mind that floors differ from furniture in that replacing them is a far more difficult and time-consuming task, so choose wisely and for longevity. Materials classified as floor covering include carpet, linoleum or vinyl flooring. Other common materials include wood flooring, laminated wood, ceramic tile, stone, terrazzo, concrete and various seamless chemical floor coatings. The style you pick depends largely on your personality and the room it will go in as there are advantages and disadvantages to each.
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Carpeting is a great, traditional flooring choice for any home. It’s great because it can refelect your personality and comes in an endless number of styles and colors. Carpet is also soft and inviting, making it wonderful and cozy in a bedroom or living room. On the downside however, it can be difficult to clean and maintain. You’ll need to vacuum often and shampoo the carpet when it becomes dirty. Too serious a stain result in the need to have it replaced so it should be kept out of kitchens and bathrooms where water damage and spills will likely destroy it. Hardwood floors are a popular and all-around great choice for your home flooring. They’re durable, easy to clean and install, and generally give a sleek, modern look to any room. Price can occasionally be a deterent regarding hardwood, however there are plenty of options nowadays to suit most budgets, and the durability is appealing. Laminate floors are becoming very popular and can be ordered to look just like authentic hardwood floors or tile. Laminate floors are affordable, very easy to lay down and can give the look of a more expensive floor. They’re also very easy to maintain. Tile floors, lastly, are great in bathrooms because they won’t be damaged by water. The patterns, color and sizes are almost limitless.
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Home Design; Top To Bottom
Roofs come in a variety of styles, from Gable to A frame, to flat. The roof generally encompasses about one third of a home’s facade and has a great influence on the overall appearance of the house so be sure not to overlook it as a source of additional aesthetic or architectural value.
Color Matters Since your roof is a big part of the first impression, it’s color is also very important to your home’s curbside appeal. Homes with dominating roof lines can be toned down with a darker roof color for a subtle ‘slimming’ effect. Black, charcoal or dark brown roof work and trim should be lighter than the roof and closer to the shade of the siding or brick. This will help draw the roof down and highlight the house itself. If your roof is visually weak, make it more dominant by choosing trim and fascia that match the color of the existing roof. This expands the roof line creating an even appearance for the home’s exterior.
Style Matters In practical terms, the location and climate where you reside will inevitably help dictate the style and material chosen for your roof. For harsher climates the hipped style tends to be a better choice. With slopes running all the way around the house from the center point, this style adds joists and trussing underneath which offers better support and a stronger structure. continues on the following page savoirflairmagazine 55
Home Design; Top To Bottom Gable style roofs - where there are only two sloping surfaces that meet in a ridge at the top to form a triangular roof - are also popular and can help to add more room to the interior of your upper floor. With a peak in the center these gabled roofs create a rake â€“ that tall section in the middle - that could be perfect for an added window or other architectural element.
Materials Matter There is a wide selection of roofing materials available that cater to different budgets and tastes, and certainly something out there to suit the style of your home. Asphalt Shingle Roofs These are one of the most widely-used type of roofing shingle. They are popular due to their availability in a wide range of colors, relative inexpensive
continued from the previous page
cost, ease of maintenance and installation. The most common fiberglass variety is also highly fireproof and durable with a lifespan of fifteen to forty years, especially in cooler climates such as the Northeast. Composite Roofs / Shingles Composite shingles are made of a blend of various roofing materials including hard plastic, wood and other recycled materials to function well in extreme weather without getting typical weather damage. Composite shingles are generally guaranteed to last from 30-50 years, and some even a lifetime. Two of their greatest advantages are this long lifespan and their ability to be based on and made to look like just about any other roof covering.
steel, copper, aluminum, tin or stainless steel but can also be coated in many different types and colors of paint. Metal roofs can be styled to resemble shingles or even the look of slate. These roofs are durable, easily maintained and can last up to fifty years. Natural Slate Roofs Slate is a rock with the ability to be cut into smooth, flat sheets and is ideal for roofing. It is durable and absorbs almost no water, making it very resistant to frost damage and breakage due to freezing - perfect for the New England climate.
Tile Roofs Tile roofing is most often seen on a Mediterranean styled home, but is now being used on contemporary and country styled homes as well. Tile comes in Metal Roofs a variety of colors and types, it is very Metal roofs are usually manufactured in durable, fireproof and easy to maintain
Home Design; Top To Bottom but not all existing homes are built to bear the weight of such a heavy roof. Wood Roofs Shake (wooden) shingles are the original roofing material made out of long tapered planks of wood. Exceedingly beautiful, shakes create a unique rustic style. They do require some maintenance and are obviously not fireproof but can provide lasting weather protection and last up to fifty years given the proper upkeep.
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Asphalt shingles tend to be the most affordable, and metal roofing is a lifetime investment that is known for durability and a consistently beautiful appearance. Slate is a durable, traditional material which is historically correct for many old New England brick homes and is used as a replacement material for authentic 18th to 19th century buildings. Clay tile roofing is often seen in southern climates, although the distinct styling looks good anywhere and will last for decades in a variety of climates. Keep these tips in mind when deciding your roofing project. The color you choose can either extend or flatten the visual appearance of a roof, creating better balance over the whole facade. The style of your roof can add more structural stability or interior room, depending on which style you choose.
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continued from page 57
The most visible way to improve the curb appeal and value of your house is of course new siding. The best siding for your house will depend on a several factors, among them budget, your current house style, and your taste. Stucco Although stucco-sided homes became increasingly popular in 20th Century America, the use of stucco mixtures dates back hundred of years. Stucco as a siding material is durable and quite low-maintenance, a style usually found in but not limited to warmer climates. Stucco exteriors can keep a home cooler in the summer and aren’t prone to infestations of termites and other pests. Wood Clapboard siding, usually made of cedar, is a horizontal form of siding found in much New England architecture. The horizontal lines can make a tall house look wider and more proportional. The look and texture of natural wood is aesthetically appealing, but can also require a fair amount of upkeep. When painting, be sure to choose a on high-quality paint brand which comes with a guarantee not to peel or blister. Shingles are another wood product that match a traditional, authentic New England home style. Painting a shingled house is best suited to a paint spray gun process. A properly prepared house using a painting spray gun can be acheived on an average cape in just one day. There are many cedar shingles prefinished with color in the manufacturing process with guarantees up to 15 years. One of the distinct
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Home Design; Top To Bottom advances of red or white cedar shingles is this siding can forgo paint and allow for aging to a nice Cape Cod silvery gray hue. Many homes on the Cape Cod use the cedar shingles with little maintenace other than occasional pressure washing for up to 20-30 years. Vinyl The low-maintenance advantage to vinyl siding has made it a very popular choice among homeowners. This means paying extra attention to the grade and quality of the siding in order to achieve your desired look. New designs can now imitate real wood siding, including seven inch reveal shingles giving you the style but also the durability to last through extreme weather conditions. To most the new vinyl shingles are almost impossible to tell from a painted cedar shingle. Fiber Cement Fiber cement siding is a composite material, and is generally installed in overlapping boards, much the way regular or wooden siding would be. It was developed as an alternative to the widely used ‘asbestos cement sheeting’, prominent until the mid-80’s but now banned in a number of countries due to the asbestos content, which we now know to be the cause of many deadly diseases. Fiber cement is also an eco-friendly solution that is resistant to termites and rot (unlike wood) but was previously unsuitable for use in cold and wet climates. Current leading manufacturer James Hardi now have a wide variety of siding products, guaranteed for use in all types of weather. There is more variety than ever to choose from these days when considering your siding options. Think not only about the material, but also the color; you might choose a siding product that already comes in an imitation finish, or you could choose to paint your siding in a durable finish that matches your surroundings and neighborhood. When choosing exterior siding for one’s home, there are
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lots of things to think about before making a decision. Just as important as your choice of siding is your choice of contractor. Be sure to find a licensed, trustworthy contractor, and always ask for proof of their insurance. Pay attention to the liability amount on their policy. Many condo associations require a mininum of 1 million liability whereas $500,000 may be enough for a small home.
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Home Design; Top To Bottom
Windows + Doors
dows and doors should enhance and support the style of your home. If you do need or want to replace your windows, don’t assume you can’t also add significant stylistic changes to your house while doing so. You don’t have to make over your entire home to change the look quite a bit, as changing the style of a particular door or window may be enough.
It’s often said that windows are the eyes of a home, and of course that eyes are the window to the soul. For a home, you can certainly gain a sense of its character by examining its windows. Windows are the primary source of natural light for a room, but they can be so much more. They give a home beauty and personality; both windows and doors can dramatically change the look of the property. Quality Tree Pruning, Removal and Care \ Climber Services Fully Insured year round
You’ll want your windows and doors to be congruent with the style of the rest of your home. For example a modern style home coupled with traditional bay windows would look out of place unless modified to mimic a modern style. A traditional house with a wall of glass in front would destroy the look, clashing with the traditional elements. Win-
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One of the best ways to add both elegance and the illusion of space to your house is to replace a regular door with French doors. These look nice whether open or closed, especially with attractive window treatments, such as curtains or blinds. Plus, the fact that they open wide provides a practical bonus, making moving and redecorating that much easier. Moving patio furniture or other large outdoor items indoors occasionally becomes easy with a large entryway. In general, your home will probably feel a bit more open and spa-
continued on page 63
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Boston Cabinets is a full service kitchen design firm specializing in the planning and installation of cabinets, countertops and accessories.
www.bostoncabinets.net savoirflairmagazine 61
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Home Design; Top To Bottom continued from page 61
cious this way; a simple yet bold design statement that stands out far more than buying a new throw or vase for your side table.
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Another way to get creative with windows and doors is to add a skylight to the house. No extra money is needed for treatments on a skylight, so enjoy it’s potential to let you watch the sun shine through it, or check out the stars at night. A very popular way to enhance both the appearance and value of a house is to add bay windows. These also add the illusion of extra space in a room since they are made up of at least three panels that extend outward. They are often best in dining rooms and kitchens since people tend to like taking in the morning sun as they eat breakfast or drink their coffee. Wherever they end up, they can provide you an additional seat in the window, a quaint comfortable way to increase space in any room. It is also quite a sought-after feature so you should especially consider this if you are trying to fix up your residence to sell it. Here are the variety and styles of windows available; Bay Windows Dormer Windows Sliding Windowscapes and Window Walls Skylights Clerestory Windows Contemporary Windows Stained-Glass Windows continues on the following page
upon a t ile
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Home Design; Top To Bottom Bathrooms Contributed by Shelley Murphy
continued from the previous page
smaller unless you are utilizing bathroom The kitchen decor is probably the most immirrors which gives the appearance of an portant aspect of your kitchen interior de-
Remodeling your bathroom needs a well open space. On the other hand when work- sign, because it is the measuring stick you thought out master plan, some drawings ing with a large area, modern bathroom ac- use to decide if all your other appliances and a calculator. Think in terms of an art- cessories are a welcomed addition to give and furniture match accordingly. The décor ist starting out with a blank canvas, he or
the bathroom a finished look.
is all about choosing the theme that you want. For different people this will be differSome traditional bathrooms focus on archi- ent. The most important component is that tectural details bringing nature inside. With it matches your personality and tastes. the inspired look of wood such as oak, ma-
• If you have a big kitchen then chances are you have probably wished for a smaller one finishes enhance the mood by giving the from time to time and chances are that with bathroom a warm earthy tone, similar to a a smaller kitchen you have asked for a bigcountry or rustic looking bathroom. ger one. When you are changing the interior design of the kitchen you may be able to Once you have selected the style of bath- make your kitchen look bigger or smaller all room, think about how you will be using based on the type of paint you use. the space. When it comes to function and ple, and beech shelves and cabinets, wood
space planning, calculate the dimensions of the bathroom. This will also help you to decide on the type of bathroom furniture pieces you can place within a designated area. Assess your bathroom storage needs. Will you need a bathroom cabinet, shelving or vanity? For smaller bathrooms a minimalist style means honing in on crucial space and she has their own unique design concepts utilizing it in order to create a clutter free for what they perceive as art. Creating your bathroom by using the bathroom that furnidream bathroom takes on a similar ap-
ture has strong clean lines and is aestheti-
proach in that we must first decide on the cally pleasing to the eye. look we are trying to achieve. There are several design platforms to choose from starting with the century old Victorian bathroom that were characterized by claw-footed roll top baths, sculpted pedestal basins, free standing showers enclosures and sometimes a matching bidet. Bathroom designs change from year to year. Recent modern designs include sleek, straight and geometric lines sporting ultra mod bath and basin mixer taps in polished
Bathroom floors are built to bear the weight of a standard bathtub not whirlpool spa baths. Today’s custom homes will accommodate most luxury tubs, but floor joists may require reinforcement in older homes if the tub is oversized especially whirlpool baths. Whirlpool baths have the water capacity of up to 80 gallons. If the proper hot water tank is not installed it will result in tepid bathwater taking away the enjoyment and purpose of a whirlpool bath. By creating a blue print to your bath-
room remodeling project, you will not • If your kitchen is small (or any room for only save time, but save money by that matter) use light colors: off white, beige etc. but you can accent the room with eliminating costly last minute changes. Depending on the size of bathroom, keep bright colors if you like to brighten up your kitchen. Dark colors will make a room look in mind that less is best in the way of ac- Kitchen Design cessorizing. Overpowering the look of the Here are some guidelines to help you avoid smaller than its actual size. bathrooms with numerous accessories this scenario and achieve your dream kitchchrome.
tends to make a small room appear even en.
Home Design; Top To Bottom • The kitchen sink, cooking stove and the refrigerator should form a work triangle where the total distance of the three stations is no more than 26 feet. The three stations should be close enough for convenience when preparing food. • Other small things which you can do to improve the overall appearance of your kitchen includes getting kitchen accessories such as a shiny new kettle, a soap dish, and dish towels. • You also have the choice of getting things like coasters and place mats, trivets, dishes, bowls and the all important cutlery. These all work well in the whole scheme of things and need not be expensive either. As long as you go about it in an orderly fashion you won’t even need to cut down on quality or quantity. • You can also place a mirror in the kitchen. A good place is opposite the window, it will not only make the room
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Home Design; Top To Bottom
continued from the previous page
larger but it will reflect the light and brighten the room. • Put small indoor plants on small pots in your kitchen. Plants gives a fresh feeling to the interior design of the kitchen. • Always make sure that there is adequate lighting in the kitchen. Inadequate lighting makes the kitchen feel cramped and gloomy. Aside from the general lighting fixture at the center of the room. Put task lights under the kitchen hanging cabinets.
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Here Kitty Kitty
continued from page 38
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Photo: Lisa Barsalona
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Assorted kittens on tree, born on May 1, 2011
according to a written standard.
standard describes the perfect example of the breed. Judges decide which cats represent the breed the best, in their opinion, and present awards accordingly. There are four major classes one may compete in. There is the championship class which is for intact purebreds who are 8 months or older, there is the kitten class for purebred kittens under 8 months old. There is an alter class for purebred cats 8 months or older who have been spayed or neutered and there is a household pet class which is for non purebred cats. Although we do not win money our cats do earn titles which then make their lines more desirable for kittens. We show mostly in the New England area but have travelled as far north as Canada and south as Florida to attend shows. We have shown in the Cat Fanciers’ Federation show, The International Cat Association shows and Cat Fanciers Associations shows. We have also represented the breed at the Meet the Breed Show held in New York each year. Cat shows can be super fun and that is the reason I attend and host continues on following page
Laura Widman DVM
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Here Kitty Kitty continued from the previous page
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Photo: Lisa Barsalona
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shows. The shows offer a time to see lots of my friends and meet new people who share the love of cats. Showing the cats was also a great family activity. Our son and daughter both attended shows. Our daughter Jocelyn would not only show kittens but also helped work the shows on occasion. Don JR who was in his teens a
Don Romano and Ken Staples with Kitten; Kasseldolls Micah Seal Lynx mitted male Ragdoll; 7 months old
tended shows with his girlfriend, now wife, showing a kitten he gave her. The shows made for some great family memories! Probably the largest benefit of showing and breeding Ragdolls is all the wonderful people we have met over the years. They say a stranger may be a friend you have not met yet. This is so true. We have had so many people buy a kitten and then become our closest friends. We have had Ragdolls in our home for 9 years now and I can’t imagine living without them. If you are looking for the perfect pet you can stop searching… and find yourself a Ragdoll! For more information visit our website www.kasseldolls.com.
c 659 East Broadway, South Boston, MA 02127 www.SouthBostonAnimalHospital.com Tel: 617 269 0610 • Fax: 617 269 0016
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OUR kids Speak continued from page 27
As in any large family, adjustments and compromises had to be made, but overall Justyn has had a great number of people “who are deeply involved in his well-being.” Ty adds that “commitment to a child isn’t always tied to biological connection or legal rights. Both of Justyn’s step-parents have played very important roles in his life despite continues on following page
ues & Collectib
experiences. I’ve learned about Tim’s rebellious youth, my dad’s extended time in college learning about philosophy, Ty’s experience with activism and religious exploration, and Randy’s complex and unique friendships built from his very fun-loving but also deep thinking personality. I feel that all of them have helped turn me into a much more well-rounded person.
continued continued from page 27
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OUR kids Speak______________________________________________________________________________ continued from previous page his role as a parent. Randy had wanted Where we live, what kind of comhaving neither biological nor legal con- children but it takes courage to take munity support is available, the polinections to him.” on a teenager, which he has done beau- ticians we elect, and who we choose The decision-making process in this tifully. The fact that they all manage to to be part of our network of friends family has always focused on what was get along and have in fact become good have a profound impact on how much better for the children and we can friends is testimony to what kind of en- homophobia we encounter and how only wish all families were as capable vironment commitment and love can prepared we are to deal with it, should of compromise as these folks. Some of create for a child. it become an issue. Hate, whether it is the most significant decisions they have directed at one’s race, ethnicity, relimade as a family rest on the principal Have there been hard times? Ty has a gious views or sexual orientation, exthat they must get along and put petty very realistic approach to their family ists everywhere. How we teach our differences aside in order to create a structure,“there have been times when children to respond to such arbitrary happy and healthy environment for all it has been hard for Justyn to be seen views is one of our most difficult misfor himself; when surrounded by such a involved. sions. In this way, LGBTQ parents prolarge queer presence Justyn has had to David and Tim moved from Florida to tect their children as do many other Massachusetts to be closer to Justyn. learn how to assert his individual iden- families at risk for impromptu attacks. Tim, who had not planned on having tity and we’ve all had to learn to step And what we teach them about those children has exceeded expectations in back and not take it personally.” who have different opinions may very
OUR kids Speak_____________ well change the way we communicate in the future. As studies speculate whether or not the children raised in such households will turn out to be “normal” we should simply ask the kids themselves what the experience has been like for them and let them tell the world what it really means to be raised by queer folks. Before coming to rushed conclusions that the lack of a traditional two-parent home made of a mom and a dad will cause children to become somehow unfit members of society we should ask just how many children have had a chance to enjoy such structure. Divorce, domestic violence, child abuse, and poverty have contributed to the creation of new family units in which children are lucky to have even one adult caring for their basic needs. For the kids who feel loved and safe, whether they have one mom, two moms, two dads or any combination of such it does not matter. Would children trade their happy homes for the abstract privilege of fitting the norm? Anais has said it better when asked if her mom’s sexual orientation has influenced who she is, “I believe she has influenced me in regards to what I feel is normal and it would probably be different if I had grown up with someone else’s mother; Of course, that would’ve been a tragedy. My mom is my best friend in the entire world. I’m very lucky!” In the many years that I have been in touch with queer families all over the world, lucky, blessed and loved are in continues on the following page
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________________OUR kids Speak continued from previous page fact the most common words used by their children to describe themselves in regard to their families. Perhaps what we should be worried about is not so much the children raised by the LGBTQ community but the parents raising children to be hateful toward the different. If we can somehow come to terms with the fact that there are different strokes for different folks the world can be a better place for all children. Flavia Francesquini - In addition to being a writer for various publications, Flavia is a certified wellness counselor, life coach and parent coach. Originally from Brazil, she is a Smith College graduate and lives in Massachusetts with her teenage son.
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Gay Men + Plastic Surgery
continued from page 21
While men are becoming more open to new procedures, especially noninvasive ones, their reasons for getting cosmetic surgery aren’t that different from women’s.
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way for both sexes to deal with these issues. Truswell adds that women and gay men make the best patients. “They both ‘get it,’ ” he says. “Straight guys don’t want to talk about their procedures. But gay men come in and they’ve done their homework. They know what they want, and they follow directions better following their surgery.”
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One such patient is 47-year-old Jorge, who admits to having had liposuction, Restylane fillers and veneers placed on his teeth. (Although he is willing to talk about the procedures, Jorge declined to use his full name for this story.) The gay Bostonbased chef says that following a 40-pound weight loss several years back, he was troubled by his prominent love handles. “I asked my doctor about it,” Jorge says, “and he suggested liposuction. It only took about three or four hours, and I was in pain for about a week afterward, but it worked great! I had no more love handles and my stomach was actually flat for the first time.” The liposuction was performed in 2001, and Jorge proudly shares that he continues on the following page
Gay Men + Plastic Surgery continued from the previous page
has retained the results. “It’s so hard to get rid of fat, but that procedure sure did it for
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me.” Jorge is equally pleased by his experience with fillers. “I started noticing creases on my cheeks in photos,” he recalls. “They were really bugging me, so my doctor told me about Restylane. I had about 50 injections in each cheek. It took about 20 minutes and was very painful, but it really worked. I immediately felt younger and looked more attractive.” He says that he got the first round of shots in 2006, and they lasted about a year. He had the procedure performed a second time in 2008 and would not hesitate to do it again. “Why not?” he asks. “It gives your cheekbones that chiseled supermodel look!” Even though Jorge was a satisfied customer, that doesn’t mean all patients come away completely happy. Men are just as likely as women to be beauty victims, with pouty duck lips or frozen foreheads. Even transgender people must consider the possibility of complications when undertaking gender-reassignment surgery. Marshall stresses that it’s important for all prospective clients to maintain realistic expectations. “Part of my job is bringing the patient into the real world,” he says. “Reality shows, like The Swan and Extreme Makeover, were very destructive. They gave people unrealistic expectations of what they can look like. The patient has to realize that this is a real operation with real risks.” Truswell agrees but also notes the positive effects that a successful procedure can have. “Having cosmetic surgery won’t change your life,” he says, “but it will make you feel better about yourself, and then you go out into the world with that new attitude. That change in outlook can change your life.” Joseph Manghise is a New York based editor and writer. He wrote about Provincetown off-season in the previous issue of Savoir Flair.
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phone: 617-354-5600 fax: 617-492-8135 www.skenderianapothecary.com
1613 Cambridge St Cambridge, MA 02138
Foreign and Domestic Your One Stop Auto Body Shop
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(508) 430-1055 www.cranberrycollision.com
It’s not easy being sleazy. Enjoy the View.
161 Queen Anne Road Harwich, MA 02645-2406
BREAKING GAY PORN INDUSTRY NEWS JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE IT
Major collision repairs to minor nicks and dings
88 Walnut St., Peabody, MA (978) 532-3212
Rainbow Auto Body & Restoration
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(508) 385-5173 451 Old Chatham Rd. South Dennis, MA, 02660
Insurance–PlasticMass S SavoirMarketplace Flair Marketplace Eastern Auto Parts Eastern MA
Car washEastern MA
EASTERN EXPRESS CAR WASH
selling quality auto parts for over 30 years!
Automatic Tunnel with Soft Cloth & High Pressure 8 Self-Serve Wash Bays Open 24 Hours
Best Parts Supplier Online! Junk Your Car! Many Ready-to-go Vehicles!
Auto Repair Eastern MA
16 Vacuums • 3 Fragrance Vacuums • Shampoo Vacuum • Car Care Products • Compressed Air
294 Eastern Avenue Chelsea, MA 02150-3308
Sweezey Fence Erectors • Free Estimates • Fully Insured Established 1969 233 Bedford St. Whitman, MA 02382 (781) 447-4200 • 1-800 427-3385
Serving The Greater Boston Area For Over 35 Years
• Auto repairs • Diagnostic services • Maintenance services • Much More
George C. Willard Co.
Crosby Fence Co. • privacy fence • picket fence • pergolas • arbors • trellises • any custom design
Quality Workmanship Since 1873 hic #106642
781-396-8484 OR 781-396-2525 for more information
We are a trusted company offering quality workmanship established in 1873
340 Middlesex Ave, Medford, MA www.johnsonstransmissions.com
Residential • Commercial
Auto Repair/TiresEastern MA
asphalt, slate, wood, rubber, copper
15 Industry Way, P.O. Box 799 Orleans, MA 02653 w w w. c r o s b y f e n c e . c o m
We Excel Where Others Fail
patios, walls, steps, chimneys
Alignment Discount Tire Prices State Inspection Complete Under Car Service Most Vehicles Brakes & Exhaust
Custom copper work
wood, vinyl all types
Service & Tire Inc.
copper, wood, aluminum
781-326-2807 1201 East St. Dedham, MA
Mark’s Master Service Hardwood Floor Sanding, Refinishing & Installation, Non-Wood Floor Resurfacing
785 Tremont St., Boston MA
Auto towingEastern MA
Stanley Towing Boston’s Oldest 24 hour towing service
3430 Washington St., Jamaica Plain, MA
building restoration and preservation since 1932 P. J. Spillane Company is a contracting firm focused on building-envelope maintenance and rehabilitation. From new construction projects to structures centuries old, P. J. Spillane Company specializes in building restoration, repair, and waterproofing.
617-389-6200 • www.pjspillane.com CostumesEastern MA
New England’s Oldest Joke and Costume Shop!
Hard to Find Costumes Make-Up • Masks • Jokes 1000’s of Quality Hats & Wigs Mascots
More Unique Accessories Than Anyone Around! Adult Gifts, Gags & Novelties
It ve Not! e i l Be Or
Of fering A Variety Of Costumes & Jokes All Year Ar ound!
Try Us For Anything No One Else Has! Our Customers Love Us And So Will You!
THEJOKERSWILD.COM 204 Main St., No. Reading, MA 978.664.5401 • 85-87 Andover St., Danvers, MA 978.777.7206
30% off Custom Framing EVERYDAY! Harvard Sq. 1100 Mass. Ave. (617) 864-4487
Cambridge 2044 Mass. Ave. (617) 491-0011
Belmont 493-B Trapelo Rd. (617) 484-5900
Eastern Mass Marketplace
Health Eastern MA
"BMC wishes you a healthy and happy Gay Pride celebration this year!"
(617) 268-5880 ∞ South Boston, MA
Glass/MirrorEastern MA We ’ l l C o m e To Yo u r H o m e , O ff i c e o r A n y w h e re , F R E E
Free walk-in STD Testing
Center for Infectious Diseases
Rapid HIV testing at Project TRUST 721 Massachusetts Avenue (617) 414-4495
• HIV/AIDS Primary & Specialty Care • Social Services & Mental Health • STD Clinical Program • Clinical Trial Opportunities
Diverse Clinical Staff
STORM WIN D OWS , SCREENS , TA B L ETO P S , MIRRORS
• Hablamos Espanol • www.bmc.org/infectious diseases
Insurance Approved Auto Glass Replacement Center Direct Bill To You Insurance, Means No Paperwork!
Auto Glass www.oceanglasscompany.com
Shapiro Center, 9th Floor
Serving The Greater Boston Area
725 Albany Street, Boston MA • (617) 414-4290
Home theaterEastern MA
HOME THEATER SYSTEMS INSTALLED
Modern Hardware and Paint Co. Wallpaper • California Paints • Paint Supplies Benjamin Moore Paints • Cleaning Supplies Lawn & Garden • Power Tools • Hardware Cabinet Pulls • Screen Repairs • Lamp Repairs Glass Window Replacement • Glass Cuts Key Duplications • Tool Rental www.modernhardwarepaint.com 440 Salem St., Medford, MA (781) 395-0731
Heating/acEastern MA Residential - Commercial
24 HOUR SERVICE
MASTER ELECTRICIAN WE TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING Surround Sound • TV Mountings Wiring • Free Consultation
Home InspectionEastern MA Ace Home Inspections
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www.jstapletonelectric.com J. Stapleton Electric Home Theatre
Jewelry PartiesEastern MA
Air Conditioning / Heating Humidification / Filters / Custom Ductwork Sheet Metal / Maintenance Contracts Heat & AC Service / License #014557
Tom Favazza P.O. Box 648 Beverly, MA 01915 email@example.com
TEL: 978-750-8282 1-888-750-8282 Fax: 978-927-1673 www.preferredair.com
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Free jewelry to the host/hostess!
Meryl F. Levine
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Eastern Mass Marketplace junk removalEastern MA
M ARCE Y O I L C O .
Real EstateCape cod real estate • vacation rentals • waterfront homes and land for sale
"Where Experience Matters" Serving Provincetown & Truro
Wellfleet, Truro & Eastham www.capecodrealty.net • 508-349-2245
Professional Demolition Contractor
3 3 3 3
Selective Demolition Whole or Partial Cleanouts Trash Pick Ups Dumpster Rentals
Commercial - Residential
Fully insured Free estimates Call Mark or contact us at
24 HOUR EMERGENCY SERVICE
Budget Plans • Automatic Delivery Cash Discounts • Same Day Delivery Complete Heating Systems Boiler Replacements 37 Franklin St., Provincetown
R.C. MASON MOVERS, Inc.
Family owned since 1937
229 Newbury St., Rte. 1 N. Peabody, MA
• Record Storage• 60 Ft. Scale • Modern Containerized Storage • Electronic Computer Equipment Specialist • Daily/Weekly Trips to Fl, NY Call for a free estimate
(800) 851-5120 rcmasonmovers.com firstname.lastname@example.org
Customized for your style
Glasses made while you wait Most prescriptions filled Contact Lenses Hearing Aids & Batteries 617-296-0066 Dorchester Lower Mills 2271 Dorchester Ave.
MortgageEastern MA PlumbingEastern MA
1735 Centre St., West Roxbury, MA 02132, (617) 325-3500, fax: (617) 325-5054, e-mail: email@example.com, www.himalayanbistro.net. Indian and Nepali Cuisine We are proud to be the first Nepali restaurant in the Greater Boston area. Nepal food is healthy, nourishing, practical and tasty. All of our dishes are prepared similar to the way the Nepali royal family is served. As our guests, we want to serve you like royalty. Our menu also includes Indian cuisine. Our dining hall is elegant with high ceilings, authentic music and antique statues. Delivery and catering service.
upon a tile
“Showcasing the latest tile and stone available 978.345.8343 throughout the 12 Westminster St. Fitchburg, MA world” www.onceuponatile.com
Service & Tire Inc.
We Excel Where Others Fail Alignment Discount Tire Prices State Inspection Complete Under Car Service Most Vehicles Brakes & Exhaust
785 Tremont St., Boston MA
McDonnell Plumbing & Heating, Inc.
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Family owned plumbing and heating, service and remodel company trained in the latest high efficiency and energy saving products to help keep your home functional but green.
(781) 444-7045 9 Prospect St., Needham, MA, 02492 License # M7966
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The Gathering Inn Women’s Spiritual Center and Retreat House Cozy! Tranquil! Welcoming! “All roads lead to the same Truth” Women Helping Women Reconnect to their spiritual Center Enjoy our Labyrinth, Meditation Garden, and Medicine Wheel.
82 Healdville Road, Hubbardston, MA
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Women’s RetreatEastern MA
Imagine your wedding at
New Englandâ€™s ultra-chic luxury wedding destination directly on scenic Gloucester Harbor. Inquire about our discount on any remaining 2012 dates! 6 Rowe Square, Gloucester, MA ~ 978.282.9700 ~ CruiseportGloucester.com savoirflairmagazine 79
Published on Feb 7, 2012
Magazine for the LGBT community based in New England with articles this issue: OUR kids Daughters & Sons Of LGBT Parents Speak,Home Design T...