Za zrcadlem a s čím se tam Alenka setkala / Through the Looking-Glass (Ukázka, strana 99)

‘I love my love with an H,’ Alice couldn’t help beginning,’ because he is Happy. I hate him with an H, because he is Hideous. I fed him with – with – with Ham-sandwiches and Hay. His name is Haigha, and he lives–’ ‘He lives on the Hill,’ the King remarked simply, without the least1 idea2 that he was joining in the game, while Alice was still hesitating for the name of a town beginning with H.‘The other Messenger’s called Hatta. I must have two, you know – to come and go. One to come, and one to go.’

‘I beg your pardon?’ said Alice.

‘It isn’t respectable to beg3,’ said the King.

‘I only meant that I didn’t understand,’ said Alice.

‘Why one to come and one to go?’

‘Don’t I tell you?’ the King repeated impatiently.

‘I must have two – to fetch4 and carry. One to fetch, and one to carry.’

At this moment the Messenger arrived: he was far too much out of breath to say a word, and could only wave his hands about, and make the most fearful faces at the poor King.

‘This young lady loves you with an H,’ the King said, introducing Alice in the hope of turning off5 the Messenger’s attention from himself – but it was no use – the Anglo-Saxon attitudes only got more extraordinary6 every moment, while the great eyes rolled wildly from side to side.

Alenka spustila, ani nevěděla jak: „Já mám ráda chlapce s Š, protože je Š�astný. Nemám ráda chlapce s Š, protože je Špatný. K jídlu mívá – mívá – mívá Šunku, taky Škubánky. Jmenuje se Švejda a žije ve –“ „Žije ve Švédsku,“ vpadl jí zčistajasna do hry Král, zatímco ona ještě vymýšlela nějakou zemi na Š. „Druhý kurýr se jmenuje Zejda. Já totiž potřebuju dva – na cestu semo a tamo. Jeden chodí semo a druhý tamo.“ „Poníženě prosím, jak?“ řekla Alenka. „Poníženě prosit se nesluší,“ řekl Král. „To já jenom, že jsem nerozuměla,“ vysvětlovala Alenka. „Nač chodí jeden semo a druhý tamo?“ „Vždy� ti to říkám,“ utrhl se na ni Král. „Na to semotamování potřebuju dva – jednoho semo, druhého tamo.“ Tu došel kurýr až k nim. Byl tak udýchaný, že slovo ze sebe nevypravil, jenom mával rukama a na chudáka Krále se příšerně šklebil. „Tahle slečinka tě má ráda s Š,“ Král mu představil Alenku, aby se tak zbavil jeho dotěrnosti – ale nic naplat – kurýr byl v tom anglosaském postoji stále roztodivnější a zuřivě koulel očima.

1. least, (adj.): smallest 2. idea, (n.): knowledge or understanding of something without being certain about it / (potucha, ponÏnÌ) 3. beg, (v.): to ask for money, to ask for or live on charity / (ûebrat) (a play on this literal meaning and its non-literal use as a polite expression (see p.170))

4. fetch, (v.): to bring back (as a dog brings back a ball) / (p¯inÈst) 5. turn off: turn away from, turn aside from / (odklonit) 6. extraordinary, (adj.): unusual / (neobyËejnÈ)

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‘You alarm me!’ said the King. ‘I feel faint – Give me a ham sandwich!’

On which the Messenger, to Alice’s great amusement, opened a bag that hung round his neck, and handed a sandwich to the King, who devoured1 it greedily2.

‘Another sandwich!’ said the King. ‘There’s nothing but hay3 left now,’ the Messenger said, peeping into the bag.

‘Hay, then,’ the King murmured in a faint whisper.

Alice was glad to see that it revived4 him a good deal. ‘There’s nothing like eating hay when you’re faint,’ he remarked to her, as he munched5 away.

‘I should think throwing cold water over you would be better,’ Alice suggested: ‘– or some sal-volatile.’

‘I didn’t say there was nothing better,’ the King replied. ‘I said there was nothing like it6.’ Which Alice did not venture to deny.

‘Who did you pass on the road?’ the King went on, holding out his hand to the Messenger for some more hay.

‘Nobody,’ said the Messenger.

‘Quite right,’ said the King: ‘this young lady saw him too. So of course Nobody walks slower than you.”

‘I do my best,’ the Messenger said in a sulky7 tone.

‘I’m sure nobody walks much faster than I do!’

„Ty mě děsíš!“ řekl Král. „Ještě omdlím. Podej mi šunkovou housku!“ Alenka mohla na nich oči nechat. Z pytle pověšeného na krku vytáhl kurýr housku, podal ji Králi a ten ji zhltl. „Ještě jednu housku!“ řekl Král.

Kurýr koukl do pytle a řekl: „Už jsou tam jenom Škubánky.“ „Tak tedy Škubánky,“ hlesl Král.

Alenku nemálo potěšilo, jak po nich okřívá.

S chutí je žvýkal a najednou prohodil: „Není nad Škubánky.“ „Ještě lepší by snad bylo pokropit vás studenou vodou,“ nadhodila Alenka, „– nebo vám dát čichnout čpavé soli.“ „Já jsem neřekl: nic lepšího,“ odbyl ji Král, „řekl jsem: nic nad to.“ To Alenka popřít nemohla. „Kohopak jsi na silnici potkal?“ Král natáhl ruku ke kurýrovi, aby mu přidal Škubánků. „Nikoho,“ řekl Kurýr. „Vida,“ řekl Král, „tady slečinka ho taky potkala.

To se tedy loudá ještě víc než ty.“ „Dělám, co mohu,“ zakabonil se kurýr. „Kdopak chodí rychleji než já? Nikdo!“

1. devour, (v.): to eat eagerly and in large amounts so that nothing is left / (poz¯Ìt, pohltit) 2. greedy, (adj.): having a strong wish to continually get more of something / (chtivÈ, laËnÈ) 3. hay, (n.): dried grass fed to animals in the winter / (seno) 4. revive, (v.): to make more lively / (osvÏûit, oûivit)

5. munch, (v.): to crunch, to chew noisily / (ûv˝kat, chroupat) 6. there was nothing like it: (normally the equvalent of it is the best thing) is used here literally, to mean it is different from every thing else 7. sulky, (adj.): silent and resentful / (rozmrzelÈ, mrzutÈ)

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‘He can’t do that,’ said the King, ‘or else he’d have been here first. However, now you’ve got your breath, you may tell us what’s happened in the town.

‘I’ll whisper it,’ said the Messenger, putting his hands to his mouth in the shape of a trumpet, and stooping1 so as to get close to the King’s ear. Alice was sorry for this, as she wanted to hear the news too. However, instead of2 whispering, he simply shouted at the top of his voice3 ‘They’re at it4 again!’

‘Do you call that a whisper?’ cried the poor King, jumping up and shaking himself. ‘If you do such a thing again, I’ll have you buttered! It went through and through my head like an earthquake!’

‘It would have to be a very tiny earthquake!’ thought Alice. ‘Who are at it again?’ she ventured to ask.

‘Why5, the Lion and the Unicorn, of course,’ said the King.

‘Fighting for the crown?’

‘Yes, to be sure,’ said the King: ‘and the best of the joke is, that it’s my crown all the while6! Let’s run and see them.’ And they trotted off, Alice repeating to herself, as she ran, the words of the old song: –

„To zas nechodí,“ řekl Král, „jinak by tu byl první. Už sis vydechl, tak nám pověz, co se děje ve městě.“ „Já to pošeptám,“ kurýr přiložil dlaně k ústům jako trubku a naklonil se ke Královu uchu. Alenku to mrzelo, chtěla se taky něco dovědět. Ale kurýr nezašeptal; zařval z plných plic: „Už se zas perou!“ „Tomu říkáš šeptat!“ zaúpěl chudák Král, skokem vstal a celý se otřásl. „Jestli mi to ještě uděláš, rozsekám tě na maděru! Zalehlo mi to v hlavě jako zemětřesení.“ Spíš zemětřeseníčko! pomyslila si Alenka. „Kdo se zas pere?“ osmělila se zeptat. „Kdo jiný než Lev a Jednorožec,“ řekl Král. „To se rvou o korunu?“ „Zajisté,“ přisvědčil Král, „a nejlepší na tom je, že ta koruna je moje! Běžme se na ně podívat.“ Hned vyrazili a Alenka si v tom běhu odříkávala slova staré písně:

1. stoop, (v.): to lean (= put the upper part of the body) forward and/or down / (sklonit, p¯edklonit) 2. instead of : in place of, as a substitute / (namÌsto) 3. at the top of his voice: as loud as he could / (z plna hrdla) 4. are at it: are doing it

5. why, (interjection): used to express mild surprise or impatience / (no p¯ece) 6. all the while: instead, throughout that time / (p¯itom, zatÌm)

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