STRANGER THAN SISTERS
Written by
Korama Danquah
Represented by Cary Kozlov Cary Kozlov Literary Management (323) 857-4596 - Office (818) 209-2185 - Cell ckozlov@ckliterary.com
INT. CRANSON MANSION OFFICE - AFTERNOON
ETTA, a scattered thirty-something wearing paint and clay covered overalls, is led into an opulent home office by TARYN a woman in her late twenties with perfect hair and a tablet that is constantly attached to her perfectly manicured hands. Etta takes in the grandeur of the room.
ETTA
Wow. This place is huge. When I lived with my dad, he was not this rich.
TARYN I know.
Taryn arranges papers on the office desk while Etta examines the various knick knacks and framed photos of her dad with rich and famous people.
ETTA
I mean, I heard he was rich now, but I didn’t know that meant swimming laps in my indoor pool with Jeff Bezos rich. We stopped talking for a while.
TARYN I know.
ETTA
But times are tough, so here I am crawling back to ask my dad for money.
ETTA (CONT’D) You know.
TARYN I know.
ETTA (CONT’D)
I bet you don’t know everything.
Taryn pulls up a file on her tablet.
TARYN
Etta Cranson, thirty-four, obviously unmarried--
ETTA Ouch.
TARYN
Ceramicist. Living in a rentcontrolled apartment on Jacobs Street. (MORE)
TARYN (CONT’D)
Estranged from your dad - my bossHenry Cranson since the age of eighteen. Moderate IBS--
ETTA
Okay, I get it! You’re an allseeing oracle.
Taryn makes sure the door is closed before leaning in closer to Etta, fully dropping her professional veneer and entering gossip mode.
TARYN
What kills me is that I can’t figure out why you fell out with Henry.
ETTA
Well, well, well, look who has a gap in her encyclopedic knowledge of little old me.
TARYN
I have theories.
ETTA Like?
TARYN
He kicked you out for partying? Tried to implicate you in a crime? You put his milk in before the cereal? What’s the tea Etta? I need to know.
ETTA
When I applied to college, I got into RISD--
Taryn gasps and starts furiously swiping through her tablet.
TARYN
The Harvard of art schools?! That doesn’t show up anywhere in my file.
ETTA
Maybe because Dad called admissions and told them to give up my spot.
TARYN
Oh! That is juicy. But bad. Very bad.
ETTA
He didn’t care that it was the Harvard of art schools. He said I could go to a school named after a dead white guy or I could get out of his house.
Taryn looks at Etta with sympathy and covers her heart with her hands.
ETTA (CONT’D)
I went to the school he wanted, hated it, dropped out, went no contact and started working in a pottery studio in exchange for free class.
Etta stops, realizing she’s been more open than usual.
ETTA (CONT’D) Why did I tell you all that?
Taryn smirks and lets out a knowing laugh.
TARYN
I have that effect on people.
HENRY, a self-important rich guy in his sixties, enters. He is sweaty and wearing athletic gear. Etta visibly stiffens. She subtly puts distance between her and her father as Taryn, no longer in gossip mode, approaches him with a fresh towel that seemingly came out of nowhere. Henry, not Noticing Etta, wipes his brow with the towel and sits at his desk. Taryn makes a “be quiet” gesture to Etta.
HENRY
Taryn, where are we at on my schedule?
TARYN
Thirty minutes until your call with NanCo Holdings. Did you beat Shepherd?
HENRY
Like a drum. Thanks for the tip. As soon as I mentioned his secret second family his game went down the toilet.
TARYN
All part of my job.
HENRY
I don’t know how you find this stuff out. It’s a little frightening.
ETTA
I know, right?
Etta pauses, realizing she’s just responded out loud. Henry looks up and sees Etta for the first time. His face hardens.
HENRY Etta.
ETTA
Henry. That was weird. Dad.
TARYN
Did I forget to mention that your daughter, Etta, stopped by completely by surprise and unannounced?
HENRY
Yes, you did. Thank you, Taryn. You can go.
Taryn slowly tiptoes toward the door, looking back at Henry and Etta hopefully.
HENRY (CONT’D)
You can go.
Taryn sighs, looking very disappointed at the lost opportunity to eavesdrop, and glides out of the room.
HENRY (CONT’D) What brings you out of the woodwork after sixteen years?
ETTA
I’m getting married tomorrow and I’ve come to beg you to walk me down the aisle.
HENRY
You’re getting married on a Wednesday?
ETTA
No, Dad, that was a clearly a joke. You know I’m here to ask for money.
HENRY
For what? I’m not footing the bill for you to go out and party.
Etta looks down at her raggedy outfit then back at her dad.
ETTA
Somehow I’ll try and stay out of the club. It’s for my rent. I’m getting kicked out of my studio.
Henry takes out his checkbook and starts to write the date. He stops.
HENRY
You get one ask. Are you sure you want to use it now? I won’t bail you out again.
ETTA
Yeah, next time I’ll sell a kidney on the black market or something. Did you know you have two but you only need one?
Henry ignores her joke and goes back to the checkbook. Taryn walks in with a glass full of green liquid on a silver tray.
TARYN
Don’t mind me. I’m just here with your green juice and a twenty minute warning for that call.
HENRY (To Etta)
I can’t believe you’re still living in a studio apartment in your thirties.
ETTA
Who doesn’t love an open floor plan with almost no floor space?
TARYN
Your apartment’s a studio? The pictures online made it look like a one-bedroom. Great natural light, too.
Henry stops writing the check. Taryn realizes her gaffe.
TARYN (CONT’D)
I’m just gonna...
Taryn exits, mouthing an apology to Etta.
ETTA
Okay, so the rent is really for my art studio, not my apart-- no don’t do that!
Henry rips up the check and closes his checkbook.
HENRY
Rent I’ll do. But I’m not a Medici. I’m not going to fund your little hobby.
ETTA
I knew I shouldn’t have come here.
HENRY
So anytime I say no, you’re just not gonna call for sixteen years?
ETTA
Hey, I don’t know how things work in your mansion, but in my well-lit one bedroom apartment, phones work both ways.
Taryn pops her head into the room. She looks concerned.
TARYN
Henry, we’re having a bit of a staff issue--
HENRY
Not now, Taryn. Please.
Taryn pops her head back out.
HENRY (CONT’D)
Instead of coming to me for money have you tried getting a real job?
ETTA
Art is a real job. But since you asked, I’m also a bartender and I tutor. It’s not enough anymore. Can we just skip to the nepotism and the loaning me the money?
HENRY
Loaning? You’re going to pay me back?
ETTA
Hell no. You owe me for pain and suffering.
HENRY
You’re an adult. I don’t owe you anything.
The door opens, but Henry and Etta are too caught up in the heat of their argument to notice that it isn’t Taryn. Instead, it’s RIRI, a fifteen (going on fifty) year old girl in a private school uniform.
ETTA
Dad, just give me the money!
RIRI Dad, I need a ride!
Etta turns to look at Riri. Riri turns to look at Etta. There’s a shared moment of confusion and then a shared moment of realization. They both turn to Henry, whose face is the epitome of “Yikes!”
ETTA (CONT’D) Did she just say Dad?!
HENRY
RIRI (CONT’D) Did she just say Dad?!
Yeah, about that... I have something to tell you guys.
INT. CRANSON MANSION OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
Etta and Riri sit across the desk from Henry, who is standing a little too far away from the desk, like he’s ready to bolt.
HENRY
So... now you know everything.
RIRI
You’re telling me that I have an older sister.
HENRY Yes.
ETTA
And I have a younger sister.
HENRY
That’s right.
RIRI
And you weren’t going to mention Etta.
ETTA
Or tell me about Riri.
RIRI
Even though we are blood related?
HENRY
Well, half, but yes.
ETTA
And we live in the same city.
HENRY
It just honestly never came up.
ETTA
Wow, you really do owe me for pain and suffering.
RIRI
I came home to get my hard drive and instead I get the plot of a freaking soap opera.
Taryn comes in.
TARYN
Henry, we gotta get you on that call. We have five...
Taryn trails off as she takes in the fact that Etta and Riri are both in the office. She’s a little shellshocked when she speaks.
TARYN (CONT’D)
Riri, you’re supposed to be at robotics. Etta, you’re supposed to be leaving with a fat check. You’re not supposed to... see... Someone explain.
ETTA
He won’t give me the check!
HENRY (To Taryn)
RIRI I need a ride to robotics!
Can we push the Nanco Holdings call? Tell them it’s a family emergency.
TARYN
No way. The NanCo CEO doesn’t reschedule with anyone. (MORE)
TARYN (CONT’D)
If you died, he’d expect your corpse to be on the call. And you can’t afford to mess up this merger.
HENRY
Etta. Riri. Wait in the family room and we can talk about this later.
RIRI
Absolutely not! I need a ride to robotics club now. I’m not messing up my perfect attendance record because you have a secret daughter.
ETTA
I’m older, so technically, you’re the seeker daughter.
TARYN (To Henry)
That staff issue I tried to tell you about earlier... The nanny quit. Someone told the FDA about the unlicensed home baking business she was operating.
Taryn and Henry glare at Riri.
RIRI
Health and safety are community responsibilities. I’m not sorry.
HENRY
Taryn, just this once--
TARYN Operations Manager. Not babysitter.
HENRY
Riri, can you help your dad out by taking an Uber?
RIRI
You’re gonna put your only child--
ETTA
Youngest child.
RIRI
-- Youngest child in the back of of some stranger’s car? Like I’m an Amazon package?
Henry looks helpless as Taryn starts to log him in to the video call. Both of his daughters stare at him with the same defiant look.
ETTA
I can take you, Riri. I’m not a stranger. Dad’s known me longer than he’s known you.
Riri looks skeptical, but Etta cuts her off before she can speak.
ETTA (CONT’D)
And Taryn has done a thorough background check.
TARYN
Her credit may be bad, but her driving record’s clean.
Henry looks relieved.
HENRY
It’s settled then, Etta will take Riri.
ETTA
For a price.
Henry’s relief melts away.
HENRY
I walked right into that.
ETTA
One year of my art studio rent.
HENRY
One month.
ETTA
Six months.
HENRY
One. That’s my final offer.
Etta stares at him. She’s not taking it. Riri frantically motions to her smart watch as Taryn greets the others on the video call in well-practiced Japanese.
ETTA
Your move, Dad.
TARYN
(To Video Callers)
Mr. Cranson will be joining us shortly. He’s just... wrapping up a tough negotiation.
HENRY
Three months of studio rent. And you bring her back home and cook dinner.
He holds out his hand toward Etta. She looks hesitant.
RIRI Deal!
Riri shoves Etta’s hand into Henry’s for a handshake.
ETTA (Th Henry)
Charming kid, you got. I bet she’s fun at UN General Assemblies.
INT. ETTA’S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
Etta and Riri are in Etta’s junker of a car. Etta does a complicated ritual series of tasks to start the ignition. Riri picks up clay-stained clothes that are in the passenger’s side area.
ETTA
Throw those anywhere. You got your seatbelt on? Let’s go.
Etta finally gets the car started. They drive in silence for a moment before Riri points to the dashboard.
RIRI
You know your gas light is on, right?
ETTA
Yeah, but we’re fine. I know my car.
RIRI
If you run out of gas, we’re essentially in a coffin on wheels.
ETTA
That’s quite a picture you’ve painted.
RIRI
Lucky I have one of these.
Riri proudly holds up a plastic card. Etta squints at it.
ETTA
An auto club card? Do you even have a license?
RIRI
No, but I like to be prepared.
Etta rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath.
ETTA
I should have pushed for six months.
INT. CRANSON MANSION OFFICE - LATER
Henry wraps up his call while Taryn paces with her omnipresent tablet in hand.
HENRY
No, thank you Mr. Yamada. I look forward to working together.
Henry exits the video call, then punches the air triumphantly.
HENRY (CONT’D)
We got him! The lawyers will dot the i’s and cross the t’s but the merger is a go.
Taryn refers to her tablet.
TARYN
I have you down now for five minutes of celebration and/or crying. (a beat)
I’ll cross out that second part.
HENRY
I actually need you to clear my schedule for the afternoon.
TARYN
But Henry, the board will want to discuss your pick for the next--
HENRY
Clear my schedule. I’ve got to decide how to make up the money I promised Etta.
Taryn pulls up a chair and sits by Henry. She touches his shoulder gently.
TARYN
You know you’re rich, right? You could easily cover six years of her rent. (Sotto)
Or dental insurance for your operations manager.
HENRY
And I have that money because I don’t just throw it around. Plus, we’re still going to have to pay for a new Nanny.
TARYN
Well, we could sell a car...
Taryn crunches the numbers on her tablet.
TARYN (CONT’D)
Or if you fly commercial for the next couple of weeks--
HENRY
Taryn, don’t talk crazy. Bring me that art you said was a good investment. We could sell a piece.
Taryn walks toward the door.
TARYN
Sure, I’ll drag a bunch of heavy paintings and sculptures in here so you can keep flying private.
HENRY
Atta girl. Hey, maybe we’ll sell two paintings and we can get you that dental.
INT. ETTA’S CAR - LATER
Etta drives while Riri reads a book, quietly.
ETTA
I’d get carsick reading like that.
Riri doesn’t acknowledge her.
ETTA (CONT’D)
So... other than joining the auto club, what do you like to do for fun?
Riri turns the page and says nothing.
ETTA (CONT’D) Does Dad let you date? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Either is cool with me. (A beat)
I tried both at the same time once... very exhausting. Honestly, reminded me of jury duty.
Riri finally looks up from her book.
RIRI
If I answer your questions will you stop telling me about your adventures in polyamory?
ETTA (Sing-song) No promises.
RIRI
I like to do science for fun. Hard science, like chemistry. None of that bogus wishy-washy soft stuff like sociology or psychology.
Riri shudders just thinking about it.
ETTA
We’ll circle back about that psychology thing later.
RIRI
I don’t date. I’m scheduled to start dating during second semester of freshman year of college. I’ll likely date one starter guy before finding someone with high earning potential and a clean family health history.
ETTA
Ah, so you’re a romantic.
RIRI
And you’re just a nanny. And a temporary one at that. Let’s not do the whole getting-to-know-you thing just because we share DNA.
She turns back to her book.
ETTA
Got it. We’re not sisters. We’re strangers. Strangers who could swap kidneys.
RIRI (not looking up) Not how that works.
END OF ACT ONE
EXT. GLASSWELL ACADEMY FOR GIRLS - LATER
Etta and Riri stand in front of a distinguished-looking private school building.
ETTA
Okay, I’ll be out here when you’re done. Have fun with your robots!
RIRI
It’s not about fun, it’s about intellectual stimulation.
A group of teen girls holding lacrosse sticks, led by twins named MISTI and KRISTI walk by and sneer at Riri.
MISTI
Hey ZZ, is today the day you and the robo-nerds finally build a friend?
KRISTI
Yeah ZZ, did you finally figure out how to program someone to like you?
The girls walk away, giggling at their own cruelty.
ETTA
Wow, hate them. Why ZZ?
RIRI
They think I’m boring. It’s cause in comics they show snoring with a bunch of Z’s
ETTA
It’s nice to know that Glasswell Academy hasn’t changed much.
RIRI
You went here?
ETTA
No, we couldn’t afford it. But I got bullied by girls who went here. Real quick, what are those girls’ names?
RIRI
Misti and Kristi.
ETTA
Spelled with an “i” at the end?
RIRI NODS.
ETTA
Classic bitch names. Here’s what you need to do. Next time they call you ZZ, call them Musti and Krusti.
RIRI
I can’t do that. The school honor code strictly prohibits bullying.
ETTA They bullied you first.
RIRI
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
ETTA
Let me explain this in your language. You like physics?
RIRI
Does a vector have magnitude and direction?
(Off Etta’s blank stare) Yes, I like it.
ETTA
That dude Newton said every action has an equal and opposite reaction, right?
RIRI
Something like that, yes.
ETTA
Well, then getting teased back is Musti and Krusti’s physics karma. And I think the laws of physics trump the honor code, don’t you?
RIRI
You know a lot about physics for someone who drives such a crappy car.
ETTA
Go in there and get intellectually stimulated before I change my mind about taking you home.
INT. CRANSON MANSION OFFICE - LATER
Henry is surrounded by works of fine art, some of which are very famous and recognizable. Taryn looks frazzled.
TARYN
Since you clearly don’t care about any of the pieces, just pick one to sell and then you can still talk to the board today.
Henry holds up Magritte’s “The Treachery of Images”
HENRY
I don’t know. Some of these artists are apparently pretty well-known.
TARYN
Yes, that’s why you bought them.
Henry puts down the Magritte and picks up a Warhol Soup can painting.
HENRY
Like this soup guy. Who knew? I just bought it cause of the good resale value. Everyone loves soup.
TARYN
We’ve been here so long my brain is turning into soup. Just pick one.
Taryn opens the office door to remove some art. GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS, the Cransons’ wealthy, at-least-thrice divorced neighbor strolls in through the open door. She has an old time-y mid-Atlantic accent and she wants Henry bad.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
Henry, Darling, there you are! I’ve been searching for you everywhere.
TARYN
Genevieve St. Weeks, to what do we owe the pleasure?
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
I was going to ask for a cup of sugar, but I just remembered I haven’t had sugar since my first marriage.
TARYN
Most neighbors ring the doorbell.
Genevieve holds up a key.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
But I have a key, dear.
Taryn snatches it from her. Genevieve is the bane of her existence.
TARYN
I’ll take that, thank you.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
No matter, I have plenty more at home.
Henry looks up from his art and notices Genevieve.
HENRY
Genevieve, have you ever heard of this Keith Haring guy? What’s his deal?
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
Are we selling art, dear Henry? How alluring!
Genevieve drapes herself sensually on the nearest surface. Taryn tries to shove her back out the door.
TARYN
He is selling art. You are leaving.
Genevieve escapes Taryn’s clutches and stands by Henry.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
Good eye, Henry! That Haring is worth a bundle. One of his last before he died.
HENRY
How do you know?
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
My divorces have made me an asset valuation whiz. The appraiser of my last husband’s art even offered me a job.
TARYN
And to think, if you had taken it none of us would be having this conversation right now.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
Henry, dear, you look absolutely world weary. Might I offer my assistance?
TARYN
Actually--
HENRY
I would love your help.
Henry pulls out a painting of a man being beheaded.
TARYN (Sotto)
And I would love to be that guy.
EXT. GLASSWELL ACADEMY FOR GIRLS - LATER
Etta sits on the stairs of the main school building, watching a video on her phone.
ETTA
People falling is always so funny.
AUSTIN, an approachably handsome teacher in his thirties, cautiously approaches Etta.
AUSTIN
Hey, I’m Austin Jacobs. You are?
ETTA
Flattered. You’re very hot and normally I’d flirt, but I’m waiting for a kid.
AUSTIN
You are?
ETTA
Not my kid! But I gotta grab her. If I don’t pay attention I think she might run off.
AUSTIN
Yeah... That’s why I came out to talk. I’m a teacher here and you’re an adult lurking in a school zone.
ETTA
Oh. (Realizing)
Oh! No, I’m not a... Do you know Riri Cranson?
AUSTIN
I don’t think I’m gonna answer that question.
ETTA
Of course not. My name’s Etta. Cranson. I’m Riri’s long lost older sister. It’s a whole thing. I’m driving her home after robotics.
Etta pulls her ID out of her velcro wallet and shows it to him. He visibly relaxes.
AUSTIN
I’m very glad you’re not a weirdo.
ETTA
Jury’s still out on that, but I’m definitely not a predator! So, do you know Riri?
AUSTIN
I’m her chem teacher.
ETTA
Oh, so you’re her god.
They laugh.
AUSTIN
She’s a good kid. A little odd, but I’m starting to think that might be a family trait. She’s had a rough time of it.
ETTA
Rough time? How do you mean?
AUSTIN
I gotta go grade lab reports and it’s really not my place to share. It was nice to meet you though, Etta.
ETTA
You too! And sorry I called you hot.
AUSTIN
I’m not. Hope we can do this again.
EXT. GLASSWELL ACADEMY FOR GIRLS - MINUTES LATER
Riri bounds out to meet Etta. She’s beaming.
RIRI
We got Hal, our robot, to sing a song by Beyoncé!
ETTA
I’m proud and terrified. Let’s get out of here.
Misti and Kristi walk by, done with lacrosse practice and now dressed in very trendy clothes. They clock Riri’s excitement.
KRISTI
Do you guys think ZZ makes out with her little robot boyfriend?
MISTI
Oh my gosh, Kristi, you’re so bad.
RIRI
Well, Musti and Krusti, if you didn’t share a brain cell, maybe you’d know robots can’t kiss.
The lacrosse girls are speechless. They walk off, glaring.
ETTA
Look at you, you little bully! How does it feel?
RIRI
Kinda good. It’s cool that we can use the laws of physics to combat bullies.
ETTA
Sure is. And now we’re gonna use the laws of downhill momentum to combat the fact that my car ran out of gas. I ran the AC. Sue me.
RIRI
I warned you when we left.
ETTA
Yeah, yeah. You told me so. Now push.
RIRI
No. Let’s call the auto club. Riri pulls out her phone and starts to dial.
ETTA
That’s gonna take forever and I have to cook dinner when we get home. There’s a gas station right down the hill. Help me push.
RIRI
I’m not pushing your junky car.
ETTA
I’m the adult here, and I’m asking nicely. So please just push.
RIRI
An adult wouldn’t let their tank get below three quarters empty.
ETTA
I like to think of it as a quarter full. If you’re scared people will think you’re poor, just say it’s community service.
RIRI
I’m not worried people will think I’m poor, I’m worried people will think I’m irresponsible.
ETTA
Riri, no one cares! Jesus! I have never seen someone so young be so uptight and boring.
Etta regrets the words as soon as they leave her mouth, but it’s too late. Riri, stung by the comment, throws her auto club card at Etta as she fights back tears.
RIRI
I’m going to find my own way home.
ETTA
Riri wait!
Riri storms off.
END OF ACT TWO
INT. CRANSON MANSION KITCHEN - EVENING
Etta is in a huge clean and high tech kitchen, stirring something in a large pot on the stove. Riri walks in with her backpack on and grabs a snack.
ETTA
Thank goodness you’re okay. I was so scared you were going to become the subject of a true crime podcast.
RIRI
I was the library. I like to use the microfiche machine to read old newspapers when I’m sad. I bet you think that’s boring.
Riri starts to walk away but Etta blocks her path.
ETTA
That was an actually heinous thing for me to say about you. Not cool for a stranger or a sister. I’m really sorry.
Riri eyes Etta for a moment and sees there’s real remorse in her eyes. She takes off her backpack and sits down at the kitchen counter bar.
RIRI
I haven’t always been uptight, you know.
Etta pours Riri a glass of cream soda like it’s a beer and slides it down the bar to her.
ETTA
If you want to talk, I’m listening.
RIRI
You probably noticed - no mom.
ETTA
I assumed she ran off to live in alimony land after Dad got rich
RIRI
She died in a drunk driving accident.
ETTA
I’m sorry. That’s awful.
RIRI
It happened a couple of years ago. And I couldn’t stop thinking about how if the other driver had just followed the rules, my mom would still be here.
ETTA
My mom died too. Cancer when I was seventeen. The world can be hard to make sense of when you lose someone important to you.
RIRI
Yeah and Dad’s not really around to make it easier.
ETTA
Amen to that. Hey... both our moms are dead. You don’t think Dad...
She makes a slicing motion across her throat and plays dead.
RIRI
Nah. He’s too much of a narcissist to risk prison. Do you know he named me after him?
ETTA
What?!
RIRI
Yeah, Riri is short for Henrietta.
ETTA
So is Etta...
The girls shake their heads. Riri takes a swig of her drink.
ETTA (CONT’D)
Are we okay? I can grovel if you want.
RIRI
We’re alright. Thanks for apologizing. No adult has ever done that for me.
ETTA
We Henriettas gotta stick together. Hey! I should make us “Dead Mom Club” jackets. Cool, no?
RIRI
No. That’s actually very weird.
Henry enters, sniffing the air.
HENRY
Is that soup?
ETTA
Duh. Everybody loves soup.
INT. CRANSON MANSION DINING ROOM - LATER
The dining room is as gigantic and ornate as every other room in the house. Etta and Riri are sitting down at the table with their bowls of soup. Henry seems as though he’s heading to sit with them at the table, but he starts to walk back toward his office.
ETTA
Dad, I know it’s a big house, but the dining room table’s this way.
RIRI
Dad usually east dinner at his desk in his office.
HENRY
It’s the best time to call some of my foreign business associates. Etta physically blocks his path.
ETTA
I agreed to do drop off, pick up, and dinner. In our verbal contract you implied that you’d be pres--
HENRY
I don’t want to argue again, I’m sitting.
Riri is shocked. They all sit at the table. Genevieve St. Weeks floats into the room.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
What is that absolutely divine aroma?
ETTA/RIRI/HENRY
Soup.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
Might I join your repast?
ETTA
Sure! Grab a bowl. The more the merrier. But also, who are you and what are you doing here?
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
Genevieve St. Weeks. Neighbor. Friend. And who knows what other relationships the future may hold.
RIRI
Probably just neighbor, Genevieve.
Genevieve holds out her hand and Etta awkwardly kisses it.
ETTA
I’m Etta. Henry’s other daughter.
Genevieve is shocked, but with all the botox she just looks mildly amused.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
Of course you are!
Etta, Riri, and Henry all eat their soup. They eat identically. Each Cranson blows on their soup three times, takes a long slurp, and then taps the spoon on the bowl’s rim.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS (CONT’D)
Remarkable.
HENRY
So, Etta, what’s your long term plan after those three months of studio rent run out?
ETTA
Well, I’m trying to get a higher paying job, but I might have to convert my place into a live-work pottery studio.
RIRI
Does your apartment have the right ventilation for that?
ETTA
Don’t think so, but I hear kiln fume hallucinations are kinda fun.
Taryn enters with her tablet, looking ragged.
TARYN
It’s finally happened.
HENRY
What has? (Scared) Is it the SEC?
TARYN
The nanny agency has blacklisted your family.
HENRY
Well, just call another--
TARYN
Henry, I am phenomenal at my job. I called every nanny agency in the county. Blacklisted at all of them.
RIRI
Well, that’s ridiculous. I’m a delight.
ETTA
Didn’t you call the feds on the last nanny?
RIRI
I’m still a delight.
HENRY
Taryn, what’s our next move?
TARYN
We might have to get... an au pair.
Riri shoots up from her seat and slams her hand down on the table in protest.
RIRI
No! I will not be governed by some twenty year old European who thinks (mocking) Americans use too much ice.
Genevieve St. Weeks taps on her wine glass like she’s going to make a toast. Everyone turns to look at her.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
But why not the older girl?
TARYN
Pardon?
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
The sister. Etta, was it?
ETTA
It was. Um, you think I should be Riri’s new nanny?
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
You need a higher paying job, yes?
ETTA
I mean, yes.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
I don’t know what you do now, but I see how you’re dressed. This is better paying.
HENRY
But the position is live-in.
GENEVIEVE ST. WEEKS
She’s your daughter. She’s lived with you before.
Taryn swipes through her tablet file on Etta, warming up to the idea.
TARYN
She is CPR and first aid certified. She’s worked with kids before as a tutor and an arts camp counselor.
HENRY
I mean, I don’t even think she’d want to do it.
ETTA
The last time you tried speaking for me, it didn’t end super well. Why don’t you let me decide?
RIRI
I’d want her to do it. Everyone looks at Riri, surprised.
RIRI (CONT’D) (To Etta)
I want you to. If you want to do it. I’d love a chance to get to know my sister.
TARYN
Well, she’s never actually liked any of the nannies before, so this is already a major upgrade.
ETTA
I’ll do it.
HENRY
Alright, that’s settled.
ETTA
On one condition.
HENRY
I’m really never gonna learn, am I?
ETTA
While Riri is in school, I get to work on my art.
TARYN
That’s fine. The last girl baked. The one before was studying for her MCATS.
RIRI
She cheated on her MCATS. But don’t worry, the med school people know now.
ETTA
And... Dad has to have dinner with us every night.
HENRY
That’s two conditions.
ETTA
We’ll call the second one payment for pain and suffering.
They enter negotiation mode.
HENRY
Once a month.
ETTA
Don’t insult me. Three times a week.
HENRY
Twice a month.
RIRI
Once a week. Deal!
Riri shoves their hands together and they shake on it.
END OF ACT THREE
INT. CRANSON MANSION FOYER - NEXT DAY
Etta is moving in with all of her suitcases. Henry helps her carry one.
HENRY
Yesterday I sold some of my art.
ETTA
Congratulations, the rich get richer.
HENRY
I was looking up a bunch of artists and I looked up your work.
ETTA
You did?
Etta stops in her tracks, stunned.
HENRY
Some of those pieces were not too bad.
ETTA
Thanks, Dad.
HENRY
Since I have some space in my collection, maybe I can buy an Etta Cranson original?
Riri walks in and sees all of Etta’s belongings.
RIRI
Oh good, your suitcases are here. I’ll need to search them before you can fully move in.
Riri walks off, rolling a suitcase behind her.
ETTA
You better buy a piece now. Nannying for Riri might kill me and my stuff’ll cost more after I die.
HENRY
I’ll get my checkbook.
Etta grabs her bags and Henry hurries toward his office.
END OF SHOW