Represented by:
Cary Kozlov
Cary Kozlov Literary Management (323) 857-4596 office (818) 209-2185 cell ckozlov@ckliterary.com
written by Korama Danquah
Registered WGAw
INT. HARMONICA'S BEDROOM - LATE MORNING
HARMONICA JONES (27, short afro, always has painted nails) sleeps in her messy bedroom in Glendale. She is snoring and wearing a pair of Lakers boxers, a ratty t-shirt, and one sock. There is a cat that walks by her bed, meowing loudly enough to wake her up.
HARMONICA
Um...hello...you...
REGGIE (late 20s, strong wannabe influencer vibes, would throw his own mom under the bus to break 100k followers) stands shirtless at the foot of her bed, holding two mugs.
REGGIE
Made you coffee.
Harmonica sits up and takes a sip. It's disgusting.
REGGIE (CONT'D)
I didn't know how you liked it.
HARMONICA
A for effort, I guess. Did we talk about you sleeping over?
REGGIE
Not really, but it was so late.
HARMONICA
I just usually don't let guys stay over the first time.
REGGIE
Right.
HARMONICA
Because of the murder thing.
REGGIE
I could have murdered you without sleeping here...
HARMONICA
Yeah...that's not helping. Anyway, thanks for a good time...
She blanks on his name.
REGGIE
You don't know my name, do you?
HARMONICA
Of course I do...
Still blanking.
REGGIE
Reggie.
An awkward beat.
HARMONICA (CONT'D) Richard? Damn.
HARMONICA (CONT'D) (unapologetic)
Not great with R names.
REGGIE Sure.
Harmonica takes another sip of the coffee. It's still disgusting.
HARMONICA
God, I can't remember the last time I went out and woke up before my alarm.
REGGIE
You threw your phone across the room.
Harmonica notices a small pile of debris across the room. It might have once been a phone.
HARMONICA (grabbing his wrist and seeing the time) Why didn't you wake me up?
She starts grabbing clothes from the ground, the hamper, wherever she can find them.
REGGIE
I was hoping we could talk.
She tries to put on a bra and a second sock at the same time.
HARMONICA
Talk? I can't even remember your name. Robert?
REGGIE Reggie.
HARMONICA
See. Dude. The sex wasn't that good.
INT. HARMONICA'S APT. LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER
Harmonica is almost ready for work and trying desperately to shepherd him out the door as she looks for her keys and a protein bar.
REGGIE
Look, I just want to know if you're going to write about me or not.
HARMONICA
(Half listening) What?
REGGIE
Last night at Darsh's party when he said it was chill to hook up with you -
HARMONICA
Darsh told you to hook up with me?
She's found the keys and a protein bar and now she puts food and water into her cat's bowls.
REGGIE
He just said you were single. And he said you were a writer, but not what kind. I thought maybe you were a screenwriter or something -
HARMONICA
Of course you did.
REGGIE
Then this morning when I went to make you coffee I saw your laptop open with notes about some guy you had sex with...
Done feeding the cat, she stands next to a fishbowl full of cards, like the one at the reaping in the Hunger Games.
HARMONICA
And?
REGGIE
I just...I like to keep my private life private.
HARMONICA
Didn't you livestream your grandmother's funeral?
REGGIE (touched)
You watched that?
HARMONICA
Look Rufus, I don't know what to tell you. I write about sex for Enigma Media. We had sex. I might write about it. If you have a problem, call this number.
She hands him a card from the bowl and walks out the door. He looks at it. It reads "ARE YOU THERE LEGAL? IT'S ME, (YOUR NAME HERE) ENIGMA MEDIA LEGAL DEPT. (818) 555 5297"
EXT. HARMONICA'S APT. - MOMENTS LATER
Harmonica jogs out to her car. Reggie sticks his head out of her apartment window and calls down to her.
REGGIE Harmonica!
HARMONICA
Oh my god, what?!
REGGIE
If you do write about me, can you add a couple inches?
HARMONICA
Just lock the door when you leave.
Harmonica glares at a parking sign that says "NO PARKING 7AM10AM FRIDAY. STREET CLEANING" as she rips a parking ticket off her windshield, drops it in a pile on her passenger side floor and speeds off to work.
END COLD OPEN
EXT. BURBANK OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
An establishing shot of a tall, glassy office building in Burbank. Harmonica power walks in.
INT. BURBANK OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
Harmonica walks down the hallway carrying her purse in one hand and her laptop bag in the other. A clock on the wall shows it is almost ten thirty. She walks by the reception desk and is greeted by SELENA (23, cheery, gets excited every year for PSL season) who is also managing phone calls.
SELENA
Hey! Harmonica! Having one of those mornings?
HARMONICA
Having one of those mornings.
Harmonica stops by the full length mirror next to the desk to straighten her haphazard outfit and throw on some lipstick.
SELENA (into the phone)
Enigma Media this is Selena. How can I direct your call? Ok! Please hold. (to Harmonica)
Is that the lipstick you stole from me?
HARMONICA
Borrowed.
SELENA
Stole. Give it back after the meeting. You're late.
HARMONICA
Is she pissed?
SELENA
She's always pissed at us. (into the phone)
Enigma Media this is Selena!
HARMONICA
Dinner with Wakely later if I'm not dead?
Selena nods as she continues to answer phones. Harmonica keeps walking past framed memorabilia emblazoned with the Enigma logo, toward the conference room where DIANA (early 50s, loves her job, hates her coworkers) stands at the front of the conference room, talking to a room full of writers including Wakely (28 year-old woman with electric blue hair, effortlessly mixes hypebeast streetwear and traditional Korean fashions).
Harmonica tries to slip in, unnoticed.
DIANA
- So make him feel welcome and help him with whatever he needs. Harmonica Jones, so nice of you to finally join us.
HARMONICA
Good morning, Diana.
DIANA
So you do know it's morning. Which means you can tell time. I was starting to wonder.
HARMONICA
My phone broke and I -
DIANA
Sit.
Harmonica sheepishly lowers herself down into the empty seat next to Wakely as Diana continues to address the room.
DIANA (CONT'D)
As I was saying, while we make this transition there will undoubtedly be growing pains, so make sure you address any and all concerns to both myself and Mr. Collins.
Diana takes questions from writers as Wakely and Harmonica whisper to each other.
HARMONICA
Wakely, what's the deal with this Collins guy?
She pointedly nods her head in the direction of COLLINS (late 50s, dresses like Robert Downey Jr. and has Buddy Garrity vibes with youth pastor energy).
WAKELY
He's an exec from the new parent corporation.
HARMONICA
Benevolent Ground Media?
Wakely nods.
HARMONICA (CONT'D)
What's his vibe?
WAKELY
No solid read yet, but we have time. He's getting his own office.
HARMONICA
A recurring character. Interesting. (beat) He doesn't look like a Jesus freak...
WAKELY
The Christian Right and Billionaires - they never dress the way you expect.
Harmonica unsuccessfully tries to stifle a laugh and Diana turns to them.
DIANA
Ms. Jones, Ms. Park. Something to share?
HARMONICA No.
Diana continues to look at the two expectantly.
HARMONICA (CONT'D)
Well, we were just discussing -
WAKELY (covering)
Harmonica's profile. That she wants to do. On...porn. On porn.
HARMONICA (catching on)
About the rise of the so-called porntrepreneur. Women who do it all: perform, produce, direct, and market.
Diana looks skeptical, but lets them win this round.
DIANA
Come talk to me about it after lunch. Everyone, back to work.
As Harmonica is getting up from her chair, she is approached by PEARSON (30, still visits his old frat house once a month). Wakely is across the room, speaking with Collins.
PEARSON
If you, uh, wanna write your porn article with a little more personal experience, I have a tripod and a free day this weekend.
HARMONICA
But, Pearson, what would we do with the other 23 hours and 57 minutes?
PEARSON
You're so combative, Jones.
He starts to walk away. She shouts after him.
HARMONICA
That's a big word for your one brain cell.
Wakely looks at her, exasperated.
INT. DIANA'S OFFICE - LATER
Harmonica enters Diana's office. Diana and Collins are at the desk which is organized and color coordinated. Collins holds a framed photograph of Diana and her daughter at her high school graduation. They laugh.
COLLINS
I swear, one day they're in kindergarten and the next they've got husbands and mortgages.
Diana notices Harmonica.
DIANA Ms. Jones, come in.
COLLINS (offering his seat) Ken Collins. Pleasure.
HARMONICA
Harmonica Jones. You're with Benevolent?
COLLINS
That's the word. I'm their man on the street. Just here to make sure Enigma makes a smooth transition into the BGM family.
HARMONICA
How exciting.
DIANA
Isn't it?
COLLINS
Well, lemme get out of y'all's hair. Gotta make hay while the sun shines.
HARMONICA
Well, it was very lovely to meet you, Mr. Collins.
COLLINS
Call me Big Ken. Everyone else does.
HARMONICA
I - ok. Sure. Big Ken.
COLLINS
Don't forget those reports, Diana.
DIANA (smiling)
Of course not. Collins exits.
DIANA (CONT'D)
Fucking hillbilly.
HARMONICA
He seems nice enough.
DIANA
BGM is breathing down my neck to make changes.
HARMONICA
Well, I'm really excited to do this multi-subject profile on adult enter-
DIANA
Which is why I'm going to shelve your column.
HARMONICA
Excuse me? Big Ken told you to shelve my column?
DIANA
Benevolent is all about conservative family media. That piece you just wrote on bukkake? Groundbreaking. But BGM -
HARMONICA
Might find it hard to swallow?
DIANA
If that's how you want to phrase it, yes.
HARMONICA
What am I supposed to do? Event coverage with Pearson? Fashion with Wakely?
DIANA
For now, we'll put you on factchecking.
HARMONICA
My old job?
DIANA
We'll always need fact-checkers. Think of it as job security. Shut the door on your way out, please.
END OF ACT ONE
INT. TAPAS RESTAURANT - EVENING
Harmonica and Wakely are sitting at a table in a two-dollarsign on Yelp restaurant. They're drinking a bottle of cheap wine.
HARMONICA
I literally cannot afford to be a fact-checker.
Selena enters in a hurry.
WAKELY
I mean, you could move back in with your mom.
SELENA
Say what now? Sorry I'm late.
Selena pours herself a glass of wine.
SELENA (CONT'D)
What are we toasting to?
WAKELY
Getting demoted. Harm lost her column.
HARMONICA
And I broke my phone.
SELENA
How?
HARMONICA
Threw it when the alarm went off after banging some rando from Darsh's party.
SELENA
How did you lose your column?! Wait, the influencer? Nice.
HARMONICA
Our new conservative overlords might not like my stuff, so it's been put on ice.
WAKELY
It's probably temporary.
HARMONICA
They've been funding the genocide in Yemen, but I'm the bad guy cuz I wrote about pegging a couple of dudes?
SELENA
Why don't we toast to the memories?
BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE:
EXT. LOS ANGELES STREET - NIGHT
Harmonica runs, barefoot, dressed in a button down shirt after a tow truck driving her car away from a red zone. A red-headed British guy, GRANT, clad only in underwear stands in the doorway of a house behind her.
GRANT
So you won't be driving me to the airport then?
INT. HARMONICA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Harmonica is wearing a bra and trying a new position with CHRIS, a large guy in his 30s.
HARMONICA
Ok, so then you pick me up...
He picks her up and trips over her cat, dropping her.
INT. HARMONICA'S BEDROOM - LATE NIGHT
Wakely sits at the edge of Harmonica's bed, reading off her phone.
WAKELY
It says to bear down and make a hook with your finger until you feel the edge of the condom.
HARMONICA (O.S.)
I can't fucking feel it.
Wakely sighs, shakes her head, and puts on a pair of latex gloves.
END FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.
INT. TAPAS RESTAURANT - EVENING
SELENA
Don't you have any positive memories?
Harmonica thinks for a second.
HARMONICA
There was the time I had chlamydia.
SELENA
Not what I meant by positive.
HARMONICA
That guy broke into my apartment when I told him my results and you both stayed at my place for a week. Wakely taught us how to play pinochle.
SELENA
I don't think pinochle is the important takeaway from that experience.
WAKELY
You're only saying that because you lost.
SELENA
No, you cheated.
Harmonica laughs, but looks uneasy as she downs her wine.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - LATE NIGHT
Harmonica leans against a wall in an apartment hallway that's not hers. She knocks on the door.
HARMONICA
Darsh! Open the door.
DARSH (through the door) It's midnight. Go home.
HARMONICA
I have Girl Scout cookies.
The door opens a crack.
DARSH (suspicious) What kind?
HARMONICA (moving closer)
Do-si-dos.
The door opens fully and we finally see DARSH (31, smoldering hot with a perpetual mischievous twinkle in his eye and an insatiable sweet tooth).
DARSH
Let's see 'em.
Harmonica steps up to meet him in the open doorway and kisses him on the lips. They've done this before.
HARMONICA
Oh. That was a lie.
She pushes past him, into the apartment, taking her shirt off as she crosses the threshold.
DARSH
Screw you.
HARMONICA (O.S.)
You're gonna.
DARSH
Every time.
INT. DARSH'S BEDROOM - LATER
Harmonica and Darsh lie in bed post-sex. They are sweaty and flushed. Darsh kisses her on the forehead, sits up, and throws the covers off.
DARSH Water?
HARMONICA Vodka?
DARSH
Water.
He leaves the room and Harmonica immediately picks up his phone to fix her smudged makeup and rearrange her hair in the front facing camera. Darsh re-enters with two glasses of water and clocks Harmonica primping.
DARSH (CONT'D) (taking his phone back)
I've seen you look way worse, Mon.
HARMONICA
No one calls me that anymore.
DARSH
Yeah, well, you know me - do no Harm. Not even a chuckle? I only became a doctor so I could make that joke.
HARMONICA
You and my dad were the last two people to call me that.
DARSH
And now it's only me.
HARMONICA
I just want to move past missing him. Which makes me feel bad and...impatient?
DARSH
I think that's all normal.
HARMONICA
Maybe. But it still doesn't feel good. A beat.
DARSH How's Reggie?
Harmonica hits him with a pillow.
HARMONICA
Why did you tell him to hook up with me?
DARSH
I didn't! He thought you were pretty.
HARMONICA
He's dumber than I thought.
DARSH
Hey.
HARMONICA
What did he say?
DARSH
He sent me like 18 texts asking if you were gonna write about his dick.
HARMONICA (laughs)
Well, that's not happening cuz one: his dick was unremarkable and two: I lost my column today.
DARSH
Jesus. You should have said something.
HARMONICA
I did ask for vodka.
A beat.
HARMONICA (CONT'D)
Does it bother you? That I have sex with a lot of people?
DARSH
You like sex, so you have a lot of it. I like cookies and I have a lot of them.
HARMONICA
I don't know if that's really the same. I mean what's the harm in cookies?
DARSH
Empty calories, high cholesterol, a ton of sugar -
HARMONICA
I get it, you're a doctor.
Darsh laughs.
HARMONICA (CONT'D)
Sometimes I feel like I just do it because I couldn't before. Like I do it for 2008 Harmonica who couldn't get a date and spent every weekend working at the music shop with her parents, ya know?
DARSH
I liked 2008 Harmonica.
HARMONICA
You never did anything about it.
Darsh kisses her neck.
DARSH
I'm doing something about it right now.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - LATER
Harmonica is dressed again and leaving Darsh's apartment.
DARSH
See you next time?
HARMONICA
No. No next time.
DARSH
That's what you said the first time. And the fifteenth time. And the fiftieth time.
She starts to walk away.
DARSH (CONT'D)
You owe me Girl Scout Cookies!
HARMONICA
Put it on my tab.
She exits the building.
EXT. GLENDALE APT. - CONTINUOUS
Harmonica roots through her purse for her keys and walks across the street, stopping, grumbling at her car, which inexplicably has another parking ticket. She snags the ticket, but she doesn't get into the car, instead, walking past it and going into her apartment building. She and Darsh live across the street from each other.
INT. GLENDALE APARTMENT LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Harmonica walks in the door, kicks off her shoes, and looks at the fish bowl by her door. She takes out one of the business cards and looks at it like maybe it holds the answers she needs. Her cat walks by.
HARMONICA
Hey, kitty.
The cat jumps out of her arms and goes to lick himself quietly in the corner. Harmonica pulls out her laptop and orders a new phone.
INT. JONES TONES MUSIC SHOP - DAY
Harmonica is behind the counter of her parents' music shop. She fills out a crossword puzzle from a book of puzzles. Her mother, MELODY (60s, kind but intimidating) comes out from the back room.
MELODY
That's mine.
HARMONICA
I don't have a phone and I'm bored.
MELODY
"BRAAVE" with two As is not a 6letter word for courageous.
HARMONICA
Thanks mom.
MELODY
If you're so bored, you can do some inventory in the back.
The bell above the door jangles as a customer, LUCY (early 20s), walks in.
HARMONICA
Oooh I would, but there's a customer.
Melody rolls her eyes, grabs a box to take to another part of the shop, and walks away past Lucy.
MELODY
Let me know if you need anything, Harm.
HARMONICA (to Lucy)
Welcome to Jones Tones. How can I help you?
LUCY
Yeah, I need oboe reeds.
Harmonica opens the display, pulling out two boxes of reeds.
HARMONICA
We have Emerald and we have Jones. No relation.
LUCY
I'll take the Emerald. Thanks.
Harmonica rings up the purchase and takes Lucy's card.
HARMONICA
So, got an oboe seduction planned tonight?
Lucy snort laughs.
Um...
HARMONICA (CONT'D)
LUCY
Sorry. I just haven't seduced anyone in a very long time, so it's funny. Sorry.
HARMONICA
Ok. Here's your purchase. Receipt's in the bag.
She starts to hand Lucy, still laughing, the bag.
LUCY
I'm just - sorry - I've been celibate for like two years. So that's why it was so funny.
Harmonica withdraws the bag.
HARMONICA
Celibate, really? How's that?
LUCY
Fine. Normal now. I was a Big Time Slut.
HARMONICA
Can I ask - why?
LUCY
Honestly? I was tired and none of it meant anything.
HARMONICA
You weren't having fun?
LUCY
Sure I was, but playing the oboe is fun. And going to the park, and learning to knit. I didn't feel like a whole person anymore.
HARMONICA
I feel that. A beat.
LUCY
Yeah...can I have my stuff?
HARMONICA
Right. Here you go. Please leave us a review on Yelp!
Lucy leaves and Harmonica puts the reeds back.
HARMONICA (CONT'D) (to herself) Celibate...
Melody carried a now-empty box behind the counter.
MELODY
Thanks for helping out again. I wish your brother would, but he travels so much.
She pauses and hugs Harmonica.
MELODY (CONT'D)
It's just been harder since your dad...
HARMONICA
I know.
MELODY
Did everything go ok with that customer?
HARMONICA
Yeah. I think it did.
END OF ACT TWO
INT. ENIGMA OFFICES - DAY
Harmonica sits at her desk marking up a sheet of paper with a red pen. Her brand new phone is syncing with her computer. Ken Collins walks by, registers her presence and stops.
COLLINS
Harmonica Jones, as I live and breathe!
HARMONICA
Mr. CollCOLLINS
Uh-uh.
HARMONICA
Big Ken. Right. How are you?
COLLINS
Well, I woke up this morning. And that's more than some people can say.
HARMONICA
Are you settling in ok? I know we're a little different from BGM.
COLLINS
Big, small, Christian, or not - an office is an office. Everyone's been real nice.
HARMONICA
Great. I should get -
COLLINS
You know, I read a couple of your columns. Good stuff.
HARMONICA
You read my column?
COLLINS
Sure. It's my job. Now, I didn't personally care for any of that rear end business, but it has real heart.
HARMONICA
That means a lot.
COLLINS
Well good, cuz I mean it a lot.
Harmonica smiles.
COLLINS (CONT'D)
I'm on my way to the break room for those little finger sandwiches with the toothpicks in 'em. You want me to bring you one?
HARMONICA
I'm fine, thanks.
Collins exits with purpose. Harmonica goes back to her work, a slight smile on her face.
INT. HARMONICA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Wakely and Harmonica are lying on the ground on top of a pile of clothes, eating from a bowl of popcorn. They play Would You Rather?
HARMONICA
Would you rather... have no knees or no elbows?
WAKELY
Too easy. No elbows. I need my knees to drive.
HARMONICA
You need your elbows to drive!
WAKELY
Ok. I need my knees so I can sit. I'm lazy. I'm so lazy.
HARMONICA
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
WAKELY
Very true. Ok do another one.
HARMONICA
Hmmm. Would you rather....have your life told through a movie or a book?
WAKELY
Probably... a book? They'd just get some white girl to play me in a movie anyway.
HARMONICA
Where is the lie though?
WAKELY
Oh! I got one. Would you rather be a pencil or a pen?
HARMONICA
Pen. With pencils...their work gets erased. They put in all this work and then boom! Faster than you can blink, it's all gone. Pens, they're indelible.
Wakely rolls over onto her stomach so she can look at Harmonica
WAKELY
No one is taking away from the work you've done if you lose your column. You know that right?
Harmonica says nothing and continues to eat.
WAKELY (CONT'D)
Being a cool, trendy sex columnist is not your personality. It's just your job. Ok? You've got depth or whatever.
HARMONICA
Or whatever?
WAKELY
Or whatever. It doesn't matter if you're a pen or a pencil. Nowadays you can erase either. Wite-Out anything you can't totally wipe away.
HARMONICA
Is this supposed to be making me feel better?
WAKELY
What matters is that you make a mark at all. Ok? OK?
HARMONICA
Ok!
A moment passes as they digest the conversation
HARMONICA (CONT'D)
But you know what actually matters?
WAKELY
God help me for asking, but what?
HARMONICA
Would you rather have a dragon or be a dragon?
WAKELY Dracarys!
Wakely throws handfuls of popcorn at Harmonica who just laughs and laughs and laughs.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING HALLWAY - DAY
Harmonica stands outside of Diana's office holding some folders, talking to Selena. Harm looks exhausted, but optimistic as she sees Diana approaching. Selena gives her a shoulder squeeze as she walks back to the front desk.
DIANA
On time. I am moderately impressed.
INT. DIANA'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
The two women walk into Diana's office. Diana sits in her chair and gestures at a still-standing Harmonica.
DIANA
Have a seat.
She sits and waits a beat for Diana to ask what she's doing there. She doesn't, so Harmonica rambles instead.
HARMONICA
I thought about it and I agree that shelving my column as it currently exists is a good idea.
DIANA
That wasn't up for discussion.
HARMONICA (ignoring her)
But, I have a pitch for a new column that I worked on this week.
Harmonica hands Diana a folder.
HARMONICA (CONT'D)
A column about abstinence.
DIANA
I'm listening.
HARMONICA
Benevolent Ground is, as you pointed out, all about conservative family media. What do conservatives love to talk about more than anything? Abstinence. So I would be writing about my own experience with celibacy while also doing interviews with people who don't have or aren't having sex.
DIANA
Well we could discuss -
HARMONICA
I would interview priests and nuns, incels, people who are waiting until marriage, asexual people, moms who don't, won't, or can't have sex for a while postpartum. It'll be part public health and part human interest. And part first person, too.
DIANA
Why do you have to be celibate to do these interviews?
HARMONICA
I'm known for being...
She searches for the word.
DIANA Prolific?
HARMONICA
Slutty. At least that's what the comments say. Why would any of these people feel ok getting vulnerable with me about their experience if I can't relate?
DIANA
Well, I'll chat with Mr. Collins and let you know.
HARMONICA
No need. Big Ken and I already had a chat this morning. He loves it. Said he wants me to do six months and we can talk about another six after that.
DIANA
You spoke with Collins?
HARMONICA
I was an hour early.
DIANA I see.
HARMONICA
Think of it as job security.
Diana looks at her with a mix of resentment and pride.
DIANA
I can appreciate an employee who sets goals for herself.
HARMONICA
Great. I'll have the first column to you next week.
Harmonica starts to stand.
DIANA
But I do think this is an ambitious undertaking.
Harmonica sits back down.
DIANA (CONT'D)
If you can't make it work in these six months and stay celibate, I don't care what "Big Ken" says. You're no longer going to have a place at Enigma.
HARMONICA
As a columnist?
DIANA
As anything.
Harmonica looks concerned.
INT. ENIGMA BREAK ROOM - DAY
Wakely sits eating lunch. Diana approaches her, with a green smoothie, and sits down.
DIANA
Ms. Park.
Diana.
WAKELY
DIANA
I've noticed you've been taking on a lot of leadership opportunities.
WAKELY
I'm always happy to help.
DIANA
Let's not insult your intelligence or mine by pretending that's all it is. You're angling for a promotion.
WAKELY
It wouldn't hurt.
DIANA
I want to support women with the right kind of ambition.
WAKELY
The right kind?
DIANA
The kind that can't be shaken by distractions.
WAKELY
I regularly work 50-hour weeks and I spearhead two community outreach programs. I would hardly call myself distracted.
DIANA
Harmonica Jones is a distraction.
WAKELY
Oh.
DIANA
You're a hard worker, you're smart, but you let her pull focus.
WAKELY
She can be a lot, but you know as well as I do that she's dedicated to Enigma.
DIANA
If you were to get promoted you are aware you would be her supervisor, correct?
Wakely nods.
WAKELY
Among other people, yes.
DIANA
Do you think you would be able to handle it?
WAKELY
Absolutely.
DIANA
I'm glad to hear you say that. Harmonica just pitched a new project. I want you to oversee her on the trial period. Be her boss, not her friend.
WAKELY (excited)
I wasn't aware she had a new idea. That's great.
DIANA
You're responsible for making sure her celibacy project goes smoothly. If she succeeds, you succeed.
WAKELY (suddenly worried) Got it.
DIANA
I'm not doing this to torture you. Just the opposite. I think you have great potential.
WAKELY
I appreciate the opportunity.
Diana walks away as Harmonica comes to join Wakely with her lunch.
HARMONICA
What was Diana doing here?
WAKELY
Nothing. Community outreach stuff.
HARMONICA
Cool. Drumroll please...I have a new column!
WAKELY
No way. Tell me all about it!
INT. HARMONICA'S APT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Harmonica walks into the room in pajamas holding a mug of spiked hot cocoa. She is about to sit when she hears a knock at the door.
DARSH (O.S.)
Hey, Mon. Open up, it's me.
HARMONICA
Stop calling me that.
DARSH (O.S.)
Fine, Harmonica, answer the door.
HARMONICA
I'm good, thanks.
DARSH (O.S.) It's cold out here.
HARMONICA
We live in L.A.
DARSH (O.S.) Glendale.
HARMONICA
Being pedantic isn't going to get me to open the door.
DARSH (O.S.) What is?
HARMONICA
Nothing. I'm celibate now.
DARSH (Laughing, O.S.)
Yeah, sure.
HARMONICA
I'm serious!
DARSH (O.S.)
Shit. Ok, can you just open the door so we can talk about it?
Harmonica takes a step toward the door then stops herself.
HARMONICA
If I open the door, we're not gonna talk.
DARSH (O.S.)
Is that such a bad thing?
Harmonica struggles with this question. Is it that bad? A beat.
HARMONICA
Right now, for me, maybe.
DARSH (O.S.)
Alright. But when you come knocking on my door again you better actually have Girl Scout Cookies.
HARMONICA
I promise.
DARSH (O.S.)
Have a good night.
Harmonica turns to sit down, and looks at her poorly knitted scarf on the table. She sets down her hot cocoa, bounds toward the door, and opens it.
HARMONICA
Darsh! Wait!
END OF SHOW