Kids on the Coast Magazine - Gold Coast - Issue 34 by Shore Media

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o go, aces t arents l p , o to d s&p things ing for kid th every

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Miscarriage – a personal story Is Hemp the fibre of the future?

IssUe 34 AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2o11

GOLD coast

Winter in the water with Laurie Lawrence CRAFTY MUMS

Why one love doesn’t fit all

Untangling Shared Care Agreeing on what’s best for the children

plus Babies on the Coast, what’s on Calendar and lots more!

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CONTeNTS Aug/Sept 2011

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FEATURE Untangling Shared Care

From the Editor

Kids on the Coast COMMUNITY

WHAT’S NEWS

CHECK THIS OUT

Looking out for the best interests of a child

HE ‘P’ FILES: Why One Love Doesn’t T Fit All

PARENTVILLE: Father’s day

HEALTH: Not just skin deep

ONLY NATURAL: Hemp A product that won’t cost the earth

Differing styles for different children

BABIES ON THE COAST: The Silent Loss Miscarriage, the reasons, the emotions

FEATURE: Untangling Shared Care

T he heritage of Aborigines and Torres Straight Islanders in the school system

PARENT PROFILE: Documenting delight eet Georgia Brizuela, capturing life on film M and online

EDUCATION: Learning and sharing together 30

HAPPY HOLIDAYS: Out to sea A taste of cruising for families

Kids on the Coast magazine is printed with vegetable/soy based inks on paper supplied using pulp sourced from sustainable forests and manufactured to environmentally accredited systems. Kids on the Coast encourages recycling. Please keep this issue for future reference, pass onto your friends and family, use for craft projects or place into the recycling bin. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

F ind out what’s happening on the Coast during August and September

New, fun and funky things

what’s on calendar

LET’S CELEBRATE E ntertaining the kids when you’re entertaining the adults

CRAFTY MUMS: The Mummy Tree

CRAFTY MUMS: HANDPICKED

CRAFTY MUMS: Business Directory

REVIEWS

SPECIAL FEATURE: Swim safety Winter in the Water with Laurie Lawrence

KIDS ON THE COAST DIRECTORY

onthecoast.com.au

kids Read more @ www.

WHAT’S ON CALENDAR

PUBLISHED BY: THINGS 4 KIDS PTY LTD. PO Box 491, Eumundi QLD 4562 PHONE: 1300 430 320 FAX: 07 5471 2372 WEB: www.kidsonthecoast.com.au ABN: 86 473 357 391. All editorial and advertising in Kids on the Coast is published in good faith based on material, verbal or written, provided by contributors and advertisers. No responsibility is taken for errors or omissions and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All material in Kids on the Coast is subject to copyright provisions. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Feedback/comments/suggestions? Send to: editorial@kidsonthecoast.com.au. We aim to reply to all correspondence but don’t guarantee to do so. Letters to the editor may be edited for length or clarity. PUBLISHER: Toni Eggleston ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER: Simone Bell EDITOR: Jackie Goldston EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS: Sandra Smith, Belinda Hopper, Justine Stewart, Kim Lahey, Maxine Arthur, Jackie Goldston, Cassi Cowlam, Wendy Buckley, Jeff Licence ADVERTISING: For advertising enquiries please phone J’aimee Brooker 0433 447 178 email: gc@kidsonthecoast.com.au LOCAL BUSINESS DIRECTORY: Speak with your advertising coordinator or email: gc@kidsonthecoast.com.au Production Department: Email: production@kidsonthecoast.com.au ADMINISTRATION: Kellie Kruger DISTRIBUTION: Kids on the Coast (Gold Coast edition) is a free publication circulating over 25,000 copies from Coomera to Coolangatta. A separate editions cover the Sunshine Coast and Townsville. For distribution enquiries please phone: 1300 430 320 or email: admin@kidsonthecoast. com.au FRONT COVER: Andrea Sproxton GRAPHIC DESIGN: Michelle Craik

AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

Welcome to

Kids on the Coast

oAST C e h t n so OUR KId

COMMUNITY

Our online community is growing rapidly, both through our website and on Facebook. For those of you who haven’t had a chance to check us out and look at the variety of information we have online, visit us today! This month we also introduce our new Kids on the Coast Community Top Tips (below), which are a collection of helpful tips by parents from our Facebook page on different topics. Visit our Facebook page or website for more topics, competitions more tips and a great group of parents! Is there anything better than a bright, clear day on the Gold Coast? I really don’t think so. Winter offers so much to do and a great time to get out and visit the growing array of Gold Coast markets. There are an incredible number of hugely talented mums (and a few dads) who are letting their talents shine and turning their craft into a home business. This edition sees our very first Crafty Mums section, featuring Mummy Tree Markets ‘mumpreneurs’ Cinde Rosser and Kim Patapan, our new work at home mums business directory and our pick of some of the creative and clever items in Handpicked. We are never ones to shy away from tough topics and this edition is no exception with an insight into the pain of miscarriage. And with an ever changing landscape, we look at the how to keep the children as the priority when making shared care decisions. I am very excited to bring you this edition of Kids on the Coast – my second as editor for the Gold Coast. I am looking forward to getting to know what you, our readers, want. So please feel free to contact me via Facebook.com/kidsonthecoast, our website or email and let me know what you would like to see in our magazine.

Jackie Goldston Editor

How do you beat the daily homework blues with your child or teenager? Pamela: “The key is to make sure you know what homework needs to be done and when. Then help your child manage the time they have to complete the homework. Complete a daily planner sheet on the fridge weekly with a timetable of when they are going to work on each task. Make conversation about the tasks and give your point of view, not only will your child get the homework done, you spend valuable time showing your kids you are interested in them and what they do.” Pettina: “Knowing your child’s “currency” is vital and making it their problem not yours. In my practice I see so many parents who have taken on their kids problems to the point it becomes “theirs”. Punishment and reward is less effective than parenting by relationship and making a map of goals and secondary gains from goals can assist in keeping teens on track. Also don’t protect your children from negative consequences from the school... So many parents want to avoid having their kids in detention, for example, feeling it reflects badly on them as a parent; however, often discipline from teachers/ mentors are more effective than from parents.”

Lisa: “Make homework time family time. Have the whole family sit round the dining table with their ‘work’ the very littlest can be colouring in, mum and/or dad can be doing paperwork or reading and older kids can be doing homework. This way, you are seeing what they are doing and you are available to help without making it seem like you are hovering or pushing them. They are also getting their homework done without being isolated and (hopefully) without it feeling like a punishment. This can also encourage siblings to help each other out. and can possibly help those children who are reluctant to do homework or sit still to at least still feel like they are a part of what’s going on and it takes the pressure off a bit.”

Sneak peek at our next issue: advertiser alert!

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

• Raunch culture, how does it affect our children? • Kids and exam stress • Interpreting your babies cries • Chooks and worm farms Got a product or service that has something to do with these issues? Like to tell our readers all about it? Call J’aimee Brooker on 0433 447 178 or email gc@kidsonthecoast.com.au for advertising info.

‘Like’ us on Facebook

www.facebook.com/kidsonthecoast …and tell your friends!

What is the best advice you have received for managing daily life with a tantrum throwing toddler? Cass: “Two choices normally work: Choice 1 - do what I have asked you to do (or if cracking a tantie) stop cracking up; or Choice 2 - time out mat for three minutes. You choose. He now will put himself on the mat or stop (most the time)!”

Kristen: “I have always firmly told my children they will not get what they are asking for until they stop crying/screaming and ask for it properly. The key is to not give into them, which is sometimes easier said than done. It only takes a few times until they realise you mean what you say.”

Amanda: “A friend of mine once told me if your child (of any age really) is screaming/crying. Rather than try to shout over the top of them, whisper in their ear. Usually they will stop crying to try to hear what you’re whispering.”

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ADVERTISEMENT/LOCAL BUSINESS PROFILE

Attacking obesity at Active After School Lindisfarne Grammar’s After School Program is proactively tackling a rising Australian epidemic through its contribution to the Australian Sports Commission’s Active After School Communities Program (AASC).

traditional sports such as Netball and Cricket to those that aren’t so mainstream

The program that currently involves over 60 Lindisfarne students provides a foundation for children to progress into local club sport whilst giving them a chance to make new friends and have fun in a non-competitive atmosphere that fosters self-confidence to target obesity in Australian children and adolescents.

student to try and therefore an active skill that a child can further involve

The program was introduced to Lindisfarne Grammar in 2007 twice a week and because of the success of the program additional grants were awarded to Lindisfarne from the Australian Sports Commission allowing the school to increase this to 3 afternoons a week.

including Aikido, Zumba, Yoga, Orienteering and Surf Life Saving. “The wide range of sports offered means that there is something for every themselves in, it is fantastic to have parents tell us that their child has just signed up to the local cricket club or have a student ‘show and tell’ a medal they received from last Sunday’s Nippers carnival.” The success of AASC at Lindisfarne Grammar has clearly had an impact on the local community as several other schools in the Tweed Area have applied for the grant in order to begin the program.

“The program is aimed at children who are regular to after school care and provides them with a structured, accredited, physical program that encourages the children to further partake in the sports they enjoy in their own time,” said Lindisfarne’s program coordinator Gail Dixon.

“It is a way that makes tackling a serious problem such as obesity in children

Mrs Dixon also stated that there are a variety of sports offered ranging from

the school on 07 5590 5099.

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

fun, easy and interesting,” said Mrs Dixon. In term 3, Lindisfarne Grammar will run the program on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons and further information can be accessed by contacting

AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

S ' WHAT

WS e N

PLAYTIME HELPS ADHD KIDS LEARN NEW SKILLS

Teaching children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) how to understand common social cues can help them overcome problems in the playground, a study shows. Researchers from the University of Sydney carried out a pilot study looking at whether children with ADHD could improve their social skills if they were taught how to recognise social cues such as fear and boredom. Occupational therapy chair Professor Anita Bundy said children with ADHD often end up dominating playtime which can be off-putting to other children. Professor Bundy said the children studied were able to learn new social skills through repetition of exaggerated cues. “They learned how to know when someone is having a good time and what your playmate likes or when they would like to do something different.”

Broncos get behind child safety

The Art of Giving Entries are now open in the annual Kmart Art of Giving competition where students are invited to draw, paint a picture or make a collage that represents what helping others means to them, with entries closing on 9 September 2011. Guy Russo, Kmart Managing Director, explained, “Many communities have been doing it tough this year so we thought it fitting to choose helping others as our theme for 2011. I’m really looking forward to seeing how students use their experiences to express the values of caring for, and helping others.” To register, submit entries or look at winning artwork from 2010 go to www.kmart.com.au/artofgiving. Students can win a share of up to $50,000 for their school.

WS e N

COMMUNITY

Broncos players Darren Lockyer, Corey Parker, Ben Hannant and Dane Carlaw have joined forces with Kidsafe Queensland to help fellow parents protect their children from injuring themselves around the home. Hannant, who has three children with the fourth on the way, is a big supporter of Kidsafe. “You hear some tragic stories and you don’t want that to happen to your kids.” Major tips to keep children safe include barriers at the top of stairs, safety plugs on power points, securing heavy furniture such as TVs, cabinets and bookcases, having guards on heating systems, hot water temperature gauges and a locked cabinet for any poisons. For more tips, visit www.kidsafeqld.com.au

WOMEN HAVING CHILDREN YOUNGER The average age of a first time mum is getting younger. In the past, women have delayed motherhood to focus on a career, travel or develop their relationship without the distraction of little ones, but this is starting to change. In Australia, the average age of mothers for all births registered in 2009 was 30.6 years, a figure the Australian Bureau of Statistics reports is “slightly younger than in recent years”. Possible explanations include awareness about a decline in fertility after 30 years and the assumption that women can combine both work and family. Others claim they want their children to enjoy the benefits of a younger family, including close relationships with their grandparents before they get too old.

HELP FOR FAMILIES NAVIGATING SEPARATION

A Family Law Pathways Network has been launched to help Gold Coasters negotiate their way through legal and family support systems during and after separation. Spokesperson Christine Hodge said the Network would help organisations and professionals work together to refer separated and separating families to services relevant to their needs. “It’s vitally important that issues such as conflict between separated parents impacting on children, domestic violence, financial matters and a host of other issues are addressed at this crucial time for families.” For more information call 5527 7211.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

CRUISE TO MAKE A WISH COME TRUE If you’d like to help make the dreams of children with a life-threatening medical condition come true, hop aboard the “SS Make A Wish” charity cruise and annual gala dinner on 17 September. The cruise departs from Bundall and supports the Gold Coast Branch of Make-A-Wish® Australia. Since being established in 1985, Make-AWish® has granted over 6,500 wishes. For details, contact Event Co-ordinator Dale Mansfield on 0407 725 463.

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

K C e CH

THIS OUT

our guide to interesting & essential bits & pieces

Beyond the highchair

Made using marine grade foam, the Tot Riser is light, portable, water resistant and easy to clean, making it the perfect “boost” for your child at the dinner table. RRP $44.95. Available online at www.totriser.com

Bag this one!

TrayKit® is the all-in-one kid’s travel carry-on backpack and play-tray solution - a kid’s backpack which can strap to train and plane tray tables and hang from the seat in front in a car to provide an extendable play surface with raised sides. RRP $54.95, available from www.flossymoo.com.au or 1300 855 101

Early to rise?

How do you get your children to understand when it’s time to get up? Simple… “Stay in bed until you see the sun!” The glowing screen of the Gro Clock shows images of stars and sun to communicate ‘sleep’ and ‘wake-up time’. RRP $79.95. Available online at www.bonitobaby.com.au and selected retail stores.

Warm in the water

Babywarma® wetsuits help make babies feel safe and secure, and most importantly, keeps them warm in the pool or at the beach. The fabric also ensures you can keep a firm grip on your baby. RRP $39.95. Available online from www.konfidence.com.au

No more BURNing buckle-prongs! Lunchboxes with Love

Who would have thought a boiled egg could be so fab? Just boil a small egg as normal, take off the shell while still hot and pop in the mold. Put the mold in a bowl of cold water and leave for just a few moments and voila … an egg shaped like a bear or rabbit - no child could refuse! RRP $9.95 at www.lunchboxeswithlove.com

Make your own beautiful button hair ties

Itty bitty buttons sells gorgeous handmade fabric covered DIY button products. The fun range includes hair ties/bobby pins, magnets, bookmarks and rings in boys and girls colours. RRP $14. Order online www.ittybittybuttons.com.au www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

BucklePodz fit onto those hot metal buckle-prongs in your child’s car seat, to keep them hidden and insulated, protecting baby’s delicate skin from burns when entering the car-seat. When you’re ready to buckle-up, simply flip them up and off you go! RRP $24.95 Order online at www.bucklepodz.com.au

Discover the World

Every child learns at a different pace. With Interactive World Map and Tag Reading system your child can learn the world’s continents and countries, build geography and map skills, learn words in other languages and discover how kids live around the world. RRP $69.99 for Tag Reading System, RRP $29.99 for the World Map, order online at www.peedeetoys.com.au AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

FEATURE

In the best interests of a child… by Sandra Smith

Cradling a fragile, red-faced newborn is a life-changing moment for new parents starting out on the journey of parenthood. It’s a road that most parents imagine they will travel together, but the traditional nuclear family is breaking down at an alarming rate with more than one third of all Australian marriages now ending in divorce. The casualties of divorce are often the children, as the family home is fractured and lives are disrupted. Children’s loyalties are torn between warring parents, so it’s vital for separated parents to set aside their differences and work cooperatively to come to an agreement about their children’s care arrangements.

“When you start to think about children’s rights, you focus less on numbers of nights at each house or numbers of hours,” she says. “If you’re thinking of children’s rights, you start to think about stability, security, the ability to get on with their childhood free of being burdened by adult problems.” Even though it can be challenging, when the needs of the children are prioritised, parents consider how they can both remain very involved in their children’s lives, while ensuring that care arrangements are not causing major disruption to the children every week or every few days.

Research shows that children are more likely to feel secure, confident and happy if both parents remain involved and interested in their lives, and while shared care is not mandatory, some families decide it is the best option.

Parents want their children to have positive, warm memories of a happy childhood, says Anne, and they need to focus on what they can do to contribute to those positive memories.

Shared care depends on many factors, such as the age of the children, the distance between households, the level of flexibility in the schedule and the ability of parents to communicate with each other.

Anne says the vast majority of separated and divorced parents are “doing a fabulous job” and are “really working hard to continue to find ways of agreeing and cooperating with the other parent”.

The Australian Institute of Family Studies reports that the number of children in shared care has increased since the 1990s, however, statistics show that most children still spend more time with their mothers and only a small proportion of children spend equal or shared time with both parents.

Mediation services like Relationships Australia can help parents negotiate through the hard decisions about the care of the children, with an emphasis on cooperating and developing the skills for solving disagreements into the future.

Relationships Australia CEO and psychologist Anne Hollonds says it’s important for separated parents to try to understand objectively what’s best for their children and to separate their own needs from that.

She warns that having a consent order registered through the Family Court or having a judge hand down a decision is no guarantee that arguments about care of the children will stop.

“First and foremost, children have a right to a meaningful relationship with both parents,” Anne says. “As long as it’s safe for children, then they have a right to know their parents and if possible be cared for by both parents.”

“The chances are that both or one of you will be unhappy with the outcome, and you’re going to find things to keep arguing about,” she says. “You’ve got to understand that what damages the children most is the ongoing arguments, whether it be about money or about the number of nights or about anything else.”

“What we try and do is help parents to rebuild that bridge that is actually meant to support that child,” Anne says.

Anne says family law changes have shifted the focus from parental rights to children’s rights and parental responsibilities.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

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AUGUST / september 2011 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; KiDs on tHe CoAst

FEATURE

Most dads are much more involved with the hands-on care of their children than their own fathers were. They have learned how to change nappies, cook and clean and soothe restless children at night. This cultural shift means that fathers expect to be closely involved with their children after separation, and the traditional presumption of contact with dad every second weekend and part of the school holidays has been abandoned. Fathers might be very keen to have a 50:50 care agreement, but Anne says that an equal care arrangement won’t hold up if it’s not practical or if the dad has no experience with domestic tasks. “Fathers have the best chance of optimal shared care arrangements when they’ve already shared care before separation,” she explains. Some fathers end up spending limited time with their children and about one third of fathers never see their children, according to a 2004 Australian Bureau of Statistics report. When fathers lose access to their children, they can feel depressed, angry and out of control. Lone Fathers Association Australia (LFAA) president and founder Barry Williams has worked tirelessly for men’s rights since the early 1970s, when he first became a single dad. “It’s a real battlefield out there,” he says. “I’m highly trained in suicide prevention, and I’ve taken ropes from around people’s necks, stopped them burning themselves up in their houses, stopped them from crashing their cars and…it’s all because they can’t see their kids.” Barry says shared care works well when parents live in close proximity to each other and the LFAA is opposed to any family law changes that may impact on fathers spending time with their children.

Family Lawyer, Michelle Beatty says there is a lot of misunderstanding about shared care in the community, following family law changes in 2006. Under the 2006 family law amendments, the court looks at “equal parental responsibility”, which means that parents are required to make joint decisions about major long-term issues for the child, including education, religious and cultural upbringing, health and living arrangements. The 2006 amendments require the court to consider whether or not “equal time” with both parents is appropriate, but Michelle says that equal shared time doesn’t always apply. If equal time is not suitable, then the courts must consider “substantial and significant time” with each parent, which generally includes spending time midweek as well as on weekends and holidays. This allows both parents to participate in the children’s everyday lives and in significant events like sporting events, birthdays and other special occasions. “They’re taking them to or from school or involved in doing their homework, those sorts of things,” Michelle says. “It gets them involved in the children’s daily routine rather than it being simply weekend time.” While shared care is considered by the court, Michelle says that in the majority of cases 50:50 care is simply not practical, for example, if a newborn baby is being breastfed. “Shared care is only going to be appropriate when the parents live relatively close to each other and they can communicate and actually achieve things, because it takes a fairly high level of communication to get a shared care regime working when children are going between households,” she says. Michelle advises parents to seek legal advice if they’re not in agreement about what they think should occur, or if they need some help with documenting and implementing an agreement. It’s often the little things that end up causing problems, says Michelle, and having a parenting agreement documented in detail clarifies any misunderstandings. There are 34 metropolitan and regional community legal centres in Queensland that provide free family law advice by phone and face-to-face consultations. Lawyers can inform parents of what the court may be likely to order, and if the parents agree on either a parenting plan or consent orders, they can make an application to the court for orders by consent and thus avoid costly and stressful legal battles. “If the registrar thinks the arrangements are in the best interests of the children, fair and reasonable, then they would make those consent orders,” Michelle says.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

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AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

FEATURE

Parenting Plans A Parenting Plan is a written agreement that gives details of arrangements about time spent with the children after separation or divorce. It is not legally binding, but it can become the basis for a Parenting Order (also known as a Consent Order).

Parenting Orders If separated parents reach agreement about the care arrangements of the children, they can submit a Parenting Plan to the Family Court, using the relevant application form. The plan then becomes a Parenting Order, which is a binding and enforceable document, if the Family Court considers the agreement to be fair and reasonable.

Determining what is in a child’s best interests The Family Court considers: 1. The benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship with both of the child’s parents 2. The need to protect the child from physical or psychological harm and from being subjected to, or exposed to, abuse, neglect or family violence

One of the biggest issues affecting existing shared care agreements is when parents’ circumstances change and Michelle sees many clients who run into difficulties as a result.

The bill may lengthen the time that parents spend in court, and Michelle says it could be open to manipulation and abuse, if it includes situations that wouldn’t ordinarily be considered violent.

A parent may want to relocate to another area if they re-partner or want to change jobs, and they need help renegotiating parenting agreements. Even moving to another suburb in the same region can be difficult for families with shared care agreements.

Family counselling groups, including Relationships Australia, support the reforms as they see the protection of children’s rights and safety as a top priority.

What is best for the parent may not always be in the best interests of the children, and after the move, children may spend long hours travelling to and from school or extra-curricular activities. “The court will look at it from what’s in the best interests of the children and why they have moved,” Michelle says. “They look purely on it as a case by case basis. Who do they primarily spend their time with, how could it work if they moved somewhere else, what would be the expenses associated with it, what are the options?” Challenging situations arise where there is a poor level of communication, and this is when professional mediation is helpful.

Fathers’ groups, such as the LFAA, argue that the proposal is gender-biased and they are concerned that fathers may be prevented from seeing their children even if claims of family violence are false or exaggerated. The family law reforms will require the courts to give more consideration to family violence and this could have widespread implications for separated parents who are in dispute about care arrangements. Resources Family Relationship Services Australia Phone: 1800 050 321 or visit: www. familyrelationships.gov.au Family Court of Australia Phone: 1300 352 000 or visit: www.familycourt.gov.au Kids Helpline Phone: 1800 551 800 or visit: www.kidshelp.com.au

The Gillard government is proposing more family law reforms, and a Family Law Legislation Amendment (Family Violence and Other Measures) Bill 2011 is currently being debated by parliament. At the heart of the 2011 bill is a strengthened domestic violence definition, designed to improve the way the Family Court protects children from exposure to family violence.

Lifeline Phone: 13 11 14 or visit: www.lccq.org.au Men’s Line Australia Phone: 1300 789 978 or visit: www.menslineaus.org.au Queensland Association of Independent Legal Services Inc (QAILS) Visit: www.qails.org.au Raising Children Network Visit: www.raisingchildren.net.au Relationships Australia Phone: 1300 364 277 or visit: www.relationships.com.au

Michelle says the legislation broadens the definition of domestic violence to include a range of non-physical behaviours, and this will change how the Court deals with family violence and allegations of violence.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

AUGUST / september 2011 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; KiDs on tHe CoAst

THE ‘P’ Files

Why One Love Doesn’t Fit All by Belinda Hopper

If I told you my husband brought a freshly brewed cup of coffee to me in bed every morning, you would probably think he was a sweetheart. You may even be jealous. But I would roll my eyes and complain, doesn’t he know by now that I don’t like coffee! (If it was a cup of tea, I’d think he was the most wonderful person in the world.) What is intended as a loving action might not be perceived as such: Why? Because there can be a chasm between the intent behind an action, and how it is received. We need love to be tailored to us uniquely, in order to feel loved. Essentially, it’s a confirmation that we are known, listened to, and validated in our personality and preferences.

Love makes the world go round

Queensland psychologist, Dr Jacqueline Boon, says being nurtured in love teaches the capacity to love, and is important to aid a young child’s healthy development. “Skin-to-skin contact between mother and child is essential for brain neurons to connect with other neurons and form important long-lasting pathways, creating a neurological code of love. This, as well as maternal responsiveness can lead to self-confidence and self-reliance in later childhood years. A strong parent-child connection is considered essential for optimal brain development.” Love is crucial not only to your child’s internal physical and emotional development, but also to their external development; helping them to learn empathy and compassion for others. Dr Boon says, “There is a saying, ‘how we treat the child, the child will treat the world’. By treating children lovingly, they in turn will learn to love themselves and others.” So how can we tell whether or not we are meeting our child’s need for love? Dr Boon says, “Increasingly unco-operative behaviour, without any known trigger, could be a form of communication from a child that their needs for attention/ connectivity/love are presently unmet.”

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

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Loving your child

The common response from parents I interviewed is that we don’t appreciate how straight-forward the young years are while our children are in them. Those with primary-aged children said meeting the emotional needs of babies or toddlers is easy, just as the parents of teenagers argued that meeting the emotional needs of primary-aged children is easy, in comparison to the complex needs of teenagers. As children grow and develop their individual personalities and temperaments, meeting their emotional needs becomes trickier for parents. Have you noticed that children respond differently to the same expression of love? One child might adore cuddles, while another recoils from affection. Or perhaps the child who once enjoyed cuddles, is now less interested in them? We need to observe and listen to our children, in order to meet their individual needs for love effectively.

The Theory

According to Doctors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, in their New York Times bestseller, The Five Love Languages of Children, there are five main categories or languages in which we all (not just children) give and receive love: physical touch, words of affirmation, giving and receiving gifts, acts of service, and quality time. While we might think we like all of them, there is usually one or two that speak love more tenderly to us. (One friend’s husband thinks there should be a sixth category: acts of silence, to be expressed lovingly while the footy’s on). The theory is: If we do not understand someone’s primary love language, it is difficult to express love to them in a meaningful way.

The love languages

It might be fun and beneficial to first work out your own preferred love language. Have a look at the list and see which you’re most responsive to. Quality Time: You don’t mind what activity you do, just as long as you’re together. Undivided attention makes you feel well-connected and loved. Physical Touch: You’re tactile by nature. You enjoy giving and receiving cuddles, kisses and maybe even a massage. Physical touch speaks love to you. Gifts: To know someone has been paying attention to your interests and puts thought into buying you the perfect gift fills your emotional tank. You also take great satisfaction in finding the perfect gift for your loved ones. Acts of Service: If someone goes out of their way to do something for you, you feel loved and appreciated. You also show love to others by doing something thoughtful for them. Actions speak louder than words for you. Affirmation: You value communication. For you, words speak louder than actions. You like to hear and say the words, ‘I love you’. Your emotional tank is filled by sincere compliments and expressions of appreciation. It makes for interesting conversation to discuss the love languages with your partner. Sometimes it can be hard to immediately place yourselves or each other. And it can be hard to appreciate someone else’s love language, if it is one we could take or leave ourselves. Leanne says, “Initially, I thought my husband’s love language of gifts was immature. But when I consider his mother is the most exquisite giftgiver; it makes sense that he would consider a well thought-out gift an expression of love. He could take or leave the card, whereas I could take or leave the gift. My husband has pinned me down to ‘words of affirmation expressed in written, poetic form’—a tall order for a male to fill!” Now that you have worked out which love language you prefer, what about your children—how do you decipher their love language, if they’re not self-aware enough to tell you? www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

The Clue

The clue is in the way they express love to you. We treat others the way we like to be treated. Mother of three, Isobelle, says, “I’ve noticed one of my children is very tactile; she blossoms with cuddles, and often snuggles up to me. Another just likes to have me all to herself for a while, asking if I can read to her on her own. Another likes to be affirmed; I know this because he keeps asking me, ‘Do you like what I did? I’ve been good, haven’t I? Watch me!’ He’s fishing for affirmation. I try to show love to my children by imitating the way they show love to me, and initiating it with them.”

The universal kids’ language

Dr Boon says that play is the universal language of children, and that “Communicating our love, laughing together and being playful are very powerful ways of connecting and meeting little one’s needs for love. Physically active play meets a child’s need for attention, for touch and deep connection.” This is especially the case for boys, whose rumbling is a form of affection.

As for teens

According to Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice in their research-driven book, For Parents Only, the best way to meet a teen’s need for love is through listening. We need to give them the security of knowing we are making an effort to understand them and will be there for them regardless of their mistakes—but kids will emotionally shut out a parent they see as judgmental. Feldhahn and Rice offer good news to parents of teens, “our kids actually want to talk to us. The bad news is the reason they don’t—we are simply rotten listeners.” For teens to feel loved, they need to feel heard. And to feel heard they need us to acknowledge what they are feeling rather than jump straight in to try and fix their problem. This is partly due to their hormonally-charged state, but it cannot be dismissed as simply that. The teens surveyed strongly agreed on their list of don’ts for parents; • Don’t dismiss their feelings • Don’t make up your mind before hearing them out • Don’t be more concerned to make your point than hear them • Don’t care more about enforcing rules than your relationship • Don’t overreact—for good or bad. It seems in their tumultuous emotional state, teens need to know their parents are emotionally stable and available for them.

Gender differences

Is there a difference between how boys and girls give and receive love? Jane, mother of four, two boys and two girls, doesn’t think so. “Both my boys and girls delight in showing love. I feel that there are differences in the way love is given and received, but it’s not necessarily related to their gender, more to their individual characters and personalities.”

Never ending love

It’s crucial to pay attention to those we love, particularly our children; to learn the best way to express our love to them individually. As Dr Boon says, “Across our lifespan, from infancy to old age, our hearts, minds and brains are sponges for love. As such our health, development and general well-being depend on receiving it.” We’re all different in so many ways; it makes sense that we would give and receive love uniquely. We just need to appreciate one another’s differences and communicate openly. If my husband brings me a coffee in bed, I can either speak up, and say while I appreciate the gesture what I would really like is a cup of tea or, I can take the hint that he would appreciate a morning coffee in bed! AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

education

Sharing and growing together by Justine Stewart

When you first hear someone talking about “EATSIPS” as part of the new national curriculum, you might think it’s got something to do with morning tea. But in fact, it’s a terrific way to help all Australians understand the history and heritage of our first people, and help Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander kids to achieve their full potential. EATSIPS stands for Embedding Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Perspectives in Schools. Launched in 2006, it’s now starting to become part of more and more kids’ classroom experiences around Australia, from kindergartens right through to high schools. Sharron Lindh works with kids to help them share and appreciate Aboriginal Culture in fun and creative ways. “I’m a proud Gamilaroi Wiradjuri woman. My people come from Moree and Cootamundra,” she explains. “Gamilaroi and Wiradjuri Country are two of the biggest nations in New South Wales. I’ve always been brought up to believe in myself and be proud of being Aboriginal. I have always felt and known that our people are very spiritual, positive and come from a beautiful place. But I guess as I got older, I found out not everyone had the same views. For me, that challenge became a positive; now I can share with people a way that they can embrace Aboriginal Culture.”

Turning around negativity

Having spent time studying education and working in C&K (Creche & Kindergarten Association) Centres as an assistant and teacher aide, Sharron now spends two days a week as an Aboriginal Education Support Officer in a school, and spends the rest of the week visiting various kindergartens, preschools and Prep classes to introduce young children to Aboriginal Culture, (she also works as an artist, painting and making jewellery). “We do painting, music, dancing, talking about plants, animals, bush medicine and foods, about how we need to take care of the environment - it’s a mixture of everything. “I say to the kids, ‘this Aboriginal culture is a part of every single one of you, because you’re all Australian. This was our first history…and by that, I mean all of us here together, as one people. You live, breathe, work and play on this land, and this land was and is loved and cared for by our first people, who are the Aboriginal people’. It gives everyone a whole new way of looking at it.”

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

Sharron’s positive attitude is infectious, and she doesn’t like to dwell on the incident that eventually led to her chosen career. But for those of us who grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, especially in regional Australia, it’s an important reminder of the attitudes that prevailed at the time. “I had, I guess, a bad incident when I was in high school, when I was thirteen or fourteen” she says, when I press her about what made her want to work in Aboriginal education. “The teacher pointed at me (the only Aboriginal person in the classroom) and said we were savages who didn’t know how to live properly. He said our people weren’t evolved and challenged me to stand up and share with him how I thought they were. I knew that our people had an amazing culture, but at that moment I felt like he was calling my Mum and Dad liars for having brought me up to believe in that,” she says. “It just devastated me. I grabbed my bag and I ran. My desk fell over, my chair fell over. I ran for miles, blocks and blocks away from school. After that day, Mum and Dad had all hell trying to get me to go back to school. I just totally disengaged. I didn’t want to be there. But even though it was a bad thing to happen, it’s ended up bringing so much positivity,” she says. “I thought, well, we need to do something about this.”

Embracing Aboriginal Culture Sharron now helps teachers embed Aboriginal perspectives into their learning, and loves working with younger children especially. Not only because they’re great fun, but because, as she says, “if we get in and share with our little people, when they’re young, hopefully they have good positive attitudes to start with”. “With the older kids, at school, I’m there to support the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students, through literacy and numeracy and also to help them with their self-identity and self-awareness. Whether they’re Aboriginal or not, if kids aren’t confident about who they are they’re not going to learn for themselves, no matter how much you try to pump reading and writing into them. For a lot of our people, our self-esteem is low because of what happened in the past. “Once people get to high school it’s like: ‘oh quick, we need to do something, these kids aren’t doing well’. We can still help those kids, but it’s much better to be proactive when they’re younger and give them some techniques to understand their feelings and develop self-worth.” www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

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education In the classroom Year 2 teacher Greg Pickering says a classroom needs to be a welcoming community where all students feel safe, valued and wanted, and explains how the EATSIPS approach has helped achieve that. For example, young kids can be offered beginners’ storybooks with a variety of settings, including Indigenous children, families and communities. Stories might take place in central Australia, and show landscapes of red dust or lush green trees or houses beside rivers. The books don’t need to specifically say ‘this is an Indigenous setting’ but they give an understanding that not everyone lives in a city or on the same part of the land. When Year 2 and Year 4 classes looked at how the Australian continent is broken up into different ‘countries’, it led on to discussions about differences within Aboriginal culture. “When I grew up we had a picture of one Aboriginal person [and some] Aboriginal tools and weapons and that was it,” says Greg. “Even if kids just learn that Aboriginal people can look and sound different depending on where in Australia they come from and not just that one stereotypical image, that’s a start,” he says.

negative, but, you know, I don’t know how they’ve grown up, I don’t know what’s happened in their life and how they’ve perceived Aboriginal people in their life, and that’s coming from their past, their grandmothers, or great-grandmothers or uncles or whoever, and that’s okay, because all it takes is just a little seed that can be planted somewhere. This is a new generation, experiencing something different.

“It lifted their self-esteem, made them prouder of who they are and where they come from,” he says.

“Change brings a lot of fear to people. I try to embrace change because it helps my brain stay active and not just do the same old, same old. With the embedding Aboriginal perspectives, when I go into do a workshop with the preschool teachers and the kindy teachers, I say to them: ‘It’s about focusing on what you do already. Stress less is best. Every day, you sit in circle. Sitting in circle is something our people have done for thousands and thousands of years. This is our time when we come together and share. You call it group time – you could change the name to Yarning Circle, and talk about it.’ Empowering our educators and enhancing the already established day-to-day routines at your centre is a positive way to share an Aboriginal perspective. It’s not about you teaching Culture; we have our people – the experts – for that. And that’s what I love – it’s not about changing the entire system, it’s bringing a new way for all to take part and enjoy.”

“Little kids don’t see colour, they don’t see difference,” says Sharron Lindh.

Making it happen at your child’s kindy or preschool Sharron’s suggestions for introducing and embedding Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander perspectives include:

“I think as Australians, we need to know about our history and embrace Indigenous heritage and perspectives. I know I’m proud to teach it,” he adds. Greg says he also noticed the positive effects of an activities program designed to help Indigenous children value their culture and themselves. He says students who’d been hesitant presenters in class became proud and enthusiastic when performing at a special assembly to showcase what they’d been learning about, and their families felt more welcome at the school.

Skin deep

“A long time ago, when my daughter was little, we were out shopping she said ‘Look, there’s a doll who looks like Jemma.’ This was her friend Jemma, who was a beautiful very dark skinned Aboriginal girl. There were two dolls, a fair skinned one and a darker skinned doll. And I thought to myself: ‘Gee, that doesn’t look like Jemma at all’. Then she pointed out the fair skinned Barbie and said: ‘See, she has the same eyes and hair as Jemma’. The skin she didn’t even see. I got tears in my eyes, then another woman who I didn’t even know asked me was I alright, and I told her, and there we both were in Big W holding hands and crying. I just thought: ‘how beautiful is that?’ It’s just that whole purity and innocence that these little children have and we can all learn so much from their openness and their acceptance.”

• Find out who are the Custodians of the land where your centre is based. The local council will usually know, and there may be a Circle of Elders within your community.

Sharron explains that when she leads teachers in professional development workshops, she establishes up front that dealing with the past is not about blame, guilt or shame, or wanting to make others feel bad:

• Display and read books with Aboriginal and Islander language and stories.

“It’s about understanding and having knowledge about what’s happened. We need to know our past to live in the now to move forward in the future. For our people, everything was hidden and shoved underneath the carpet, and the carpet got lumpier. Terrible things happened. We need to know what happened so we can help make the carpet a smoother road for all, then we have solid ground to walk together on, only then can we move forward. Acknowledgement and understanding is the key to unlock a brighter future. “I’ve never had any really negative reactions, no-one’s ever said to me: ‘oh this is a load of garbage’. I’ve had people that you can see might be thinking something

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

• Show you welcome everyone. Have some Aboriginal artwork around your centre. Display all three flags – the Aboriginal flag, the Australian flag, and the Torres Strait Islander flag. • Have an Aboriginal map and Australian map both on display. (For copies of the Aboriginal Australia map, go to the Australian Institute of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Studies: www.aiatsis.gov.au) • Learn a song like “Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes” in an Aboriginal language. • Have an open mind – don’t believe everything you see on TV. If you have the opportunity to go to an Aboriginal festival, don’t be fearful, go and be involved, you’ll be surprised at how welcome you’ll be. Sharron can come to visit centres on the Gold Coast. She can be emailed at: slindh@ optusnet.com.au Dare To Lead is a Commonwealth funded national project with a focus on improving educational outcomes for Indigenous students. For more information go to: www.daretolead.edu.au For more information on EATSIPS, go to the Qld Education Dept website (www. education.qld.gov.au/schools) and select Indigenous, then services, then EATSIPS www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

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What’s on CalendaR Compiled by Jasmin McGregor

August 4

Special Needs Story time

August 1-7

World Breastfeeding Week How: Get involved or make a donation by visiting www.worldbreastfeedingweek.org

August 4, 18

PJ Story time Where: Robina Library When: 6-6:30pm Perfect for busy parents, pop the children in their PJ’s and join us for these special evening story time sessions. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library

t s u g u a SEPT

August 4

Stardust Junior Astronomy Club

Where: Nerang Library When: 10-11am Enjoy a music theme, with musical instruments, drumming, stories, songs and finger plays. This story time is designed to encourage children to participate while having fun in an atmosphere that is comfortable for children with special needs. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library

Where: Runaway Bay Library When: 4-5pm Have you ever wanted to learn about the amazing universe you live in, find the constellations in the night sky, wanted to see craters on the moon? For 6 to 12 year olds. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library

August 4-20

“Disney’s Beauty and the Beast“

Where: Spotlight Theatre, 185-187 Ashmore Rd, Benowa When: See website for times. A lavish stage adaptation of the animated Walt Disney film about a strong-willed young woman, Belle, who breaks the spell that turned a handsome prince into a monstrous beast. Cost: $18-$35 Details: www.spotlighttheatre.com.au

4 August 6

August 5

Family Fitness and Fun

The scientists at the Children’s Medical Research Institute are working to try to prevent diseases such as leukaemia, muscular dystrophy, genetic defects and many others before they occur in our children, or where that is not possible, to develop better treatments. How: To help them continue this life-saving work, visit www.jeansforgenes.org.au

Where: Palm Beach Parklands, 945 Gold Coast Highway, Palm Beach When: 3-4:30pm The Leaps and Bounds Team will have you playing together as a family, working as a team and facing the fun challenges together. All levels catered for. Cost: Free. Bookings required. Details: 5534 4030 or info@ childrensfitnesscentre.com.au

Jeans 4 Genes Day

August 6

August 6 & 7

August 7

Where: Southport Library When: 10:30-11am Come along and share stories old and new. What a great way to spend a relaxing Saturday morning with the kids. For children 5 to 12 years. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library

Where: 1 Wollemi Place, Tweed Heads When: 10am-2pm Sat, 10am-12pm Sunday Celebrate Boyds Bay Garden World’s 30th Birthday. On Saturday, all aboard the Boyds Bay Express, for FREE train rides around the Nursery. On Sunday come dressed as your favourite fairy or elf and see The Garden Fairies and a magic show; plus face painting and the baby animal farm. Cost: Free Details: www.bbgw.com.au or 07 5536 5869

Where: The Arts Centre Gold Coast, 135 Bundall Rd, Surfers Paradise When: 9am-1pm The Butterfly Tree is a unique boutique market for families with children aged from newborn to teen years. It offers an impressive collection of specially selected vendors with stunning handcrafted pieces including clothing, toys, bedding, decorator items and accessories. Cost: Free entry Details: www.thebutterflytree.com.au

Where: St Brigids Primary School, McLaren Rd, Nerang When: 10am-3pm Come along and enjoy the fun! There are loads of rides and activities. Cost: Free entry Details: 0403 184 861 or lyndal.totman@ bigpond.com, www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au

Where: Currumbin Farm Campus, 1226 Currumbin Creek Road, Currumbin Valley When: 10am-12noon Discover what this unique outdoor and environmental education centre has to offer. Pick your own fresh produce, wander along the biodiversity walk, discover farmyard animals and enjoy the open picnic grounds and more! Details: www.currumbinfarmschool.eq.edu.au or (07) 5533 0312

August 7 & 28

August 13

August 14

Where: 7 August - Gold Coast Botanic Gardens, 258 Ashmore Road, Benowa 28 August - Paradise Point Parklands, The Esplanade, Paradise Point. When: 10:30am-12noon Hands on workshops for kids, create, paint and decorate a range of themed take-home items while enjoying some of our wonderful parks. Cost: $2. Bookings required Details: www.gcparks.com.au

Where: Stoner Family Park, 70 Merridown Drive, Merrimac. When: 10am-12noon Looking for adventure? Keep the kids active in the outdoors. Activities include putting up tents, orienteering, shelter set up, first aid races, chariot races, obstacle courses and treasure hunts! Cost: Free. Bookings required. Minimum age six years and children must be accompanied by an adult. Details: bookings@vertecadventure.com.au

Where: Oxenford Park, 25 Oxenford Tamborine Road When: 10am-1pm The kids will have a ball on this five metre inflatable side while you sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet. Why not bring a picnic and enjoy a day out in the park with the family. All ages are welcome. Cost: Free Details: www.gcparks.com.au or 07 5559 0957

Saturday Tales

Boyds Bay Garden Fair

Butterfly Tree Markets

Craft in the Park

August 15

RSPCA Cupcake Day

Adventure Activities

August 13-21

National Science Week Get ready for Science Week. See www.scienceweek.gov.au for more info

August 18

Wink, Blink, Think

On Monday 15 August, registered RSPCA Cupcake Cooks across Australia will descend on their schools, workplaces and social groups with batches of truly scrumptious homemade cupcakes that will be exchanged for donations to the RSPCA! How: It’s free to register as a cupcake cook. Visit www.rspcacupcakeday.com.au or phone 07 3426 9980

Where: Nerang Library When: 3:30-4:30pm After school games and activities for six to 12 year olds. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library

August 20

August 21

Where: Charles Holm Park, Pinnaroo Crescent, Santa Barbara When: 12noon-1:30pm and 2-3:30pm Whether you are a beginner yourself or you would like the kids to learn, this is the way for you all to experience the joy of catching fish. Cost: Free. Bookings required. Minimum age six years and children must be accompanied by an adult. Details: bookings@vertecadventure.com.au

Where: Pimpama When: 1-4pm Explore a local mangrove environment by canoe. Glide quietly along with the tide, spotting birds, fish and crabs on the way. Learn to identify individual mangrove species and uncover the secrets they possess for survival. Activity suitable for ages eight and above. Details: www.gcparks.com.au or 07 5581 1521

Where: Runaway Bay Indoor Stadium, Sports Avenue When: 9am-12pm The ultimate market for your children’s needs. At Zero 2 Five Markets you can buy or sell quality pre-loved and new products such as clothing, toys, books, prams, car seats and nursery furniture all at amazing prices. Cost: $3 Adult, Children free Details: www.zero2five.com.au

August 27

August 28

August 29 - September 4

Where: Coomera Lake Parklands, Regatta Waters When: 10am-2pm A family fun day for the whole community to show appreciation to our Police, Emergency Services and volunteers. Free face painting, a jumping castle, obstacle course, BBQ, big red fire truck, interactive displays and lots of give-aways. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au or 07 5581 8630

Where: Upper Coomera State College, Reserve Road, Coomera When: 9am-12pm The ultimate market for your children’s needs. At Zero 2 Five Markets you can buy or sell quality pre-loved and new products such as clothing, toys, books, prams, car seats and nursery furniture all at amazing prices. Cost: $3 Adult, Children free. Details: www.zero2five.com.au

Fishing

Emergency Services Thank you Day

Mangrove Discovery Paddle

Zero 2 Five Markets

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

St Brigids Primary School Fete

Zero 2 Five Markets

National Literacy and Numeracy Week This week shows the importance of literacy and numeracy and celebrates schools making a difference in literacy and numeracy education. How: Is your school ready for National Literacy and Numeracy Week? Check out the national activities or register now for Reach for the Stars, Read for Australia, or Digital Stories. Details: www.literacyandnumeracy.gov.au

August 20-21

Gold Coast Science Fair Where: Varsity College The Gold Coast Science Fair 2011 is fun and exciting for people of all ages. It showcases innovative local technologies in an interactive way providing hands-on demonstrations, activities and competitions with a strong emphasis on education and enjoyment. A great day out for the whole family! Details: www.sciencefair.goldcoast.qld.gov.au

Farm Discovery Day

Super Sliding Fun

August 20-26

Australian Children’s Book Week – One World, Many Stories Where: GCCC Libraries When: Ask your school and local library Each year, many schools and public libraries from all over Australia spend a week celebrating books and Australian authors and illustrators. Details: http://cbca.org.au/bookweek or 07 5581 7210

August 22-28

August 26

There are easy ways you can help the environment, and save money, by making a few simple changes around your home and in your daily life. How: Visit www.kab.org.au to help keep Australia beautiful

It’s a day for all of us to give hope for a brighter, cancer-free future for ourselves, and for those we love. How: Daffodil Day merchandise is on sale throughout August, or you can donate to Daffodil Day at any time by visiting www.daffodilday.com.au

August 30

August 31

Keep Australia Beautiful Week

Book Bites Reading Club Where: Robina Library When: 4-4:30pm If you enjoy reading, join a book club especially for kids. Hear what others are reading and share some of your favourite books. For six to 12 year olds. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library

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Daffodil Day

Toddler/Pre-school Behaviour Management Where: Southport Library When: 10am-12noon For parents of children 18 months to four years who are concerned about their children’s behaviour. Provides parents with some basic strategies to address common behaviour problems. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

tSEPT

A calendar of regular weekly events is available online. For details of playgroups, library activities, weekly sporting events, craft classes, Australian Breastfeeding Association meeting times and much more, visit www.kidsonthecoast.com.au We publish information based on what is supplied to us - to the best of our knowledge all details were correct at time of printing, however we do recommend you check event details with the organisers.

September 1-7

National Asthma Week This week join in the activities organised to promote awareness of asthma to the general community, and highlight ways to help people manage asthma. How: For activities in your area, or to make a donation, visit: www.asthma.org.au

September 1-7

Spina Bifida Awareness Week This week highlights the importance of Folic Acid and to help improve the services and life chances for those with spina bifida. How: To get involved or donate, visit www.sbfv.org.au

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September 2-4

Gold Coast Show Where: Parklands Showgrounds, cnr Smith Street and Parklands Drive, Southport When: See website for details From the moment you enter the Gold Coast Show there will be no shortage of entertainment. Cost: $45 Family (2A & 3C under 14 yrs), $20 Adults, $5 Children (under 14), Pre-School Children FREE Details: www.goldcoastshow.com.au

2-4

The Baby & Toddler Show

Where: Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre, South Bank, Brisbane When: 9:30am-4:30pm daily Your little ones will delight in singing and dancing with some of the best loved characters from children’s TV or romping in the Fisher-Price Playground. The Baby & Toddler Show brings together a whole host of experts and organisations ready to answer your pregnancy questions and parenting concerns. Cost: $20 at the door, early bird discounts online, children under 14 free. Details: www.babyandtoddlershow.com.au/brisbane

September 4

September 5-11

National Child Protection Week

Father’s Day September 10

Guardian Angels Primary School Fete Where: Guardian Angels Primary School, Edmund Rice Drive, Ashmore When: 2-8pm Fun filled day with heaps of family entertainment, including rides, auctions, raffles, stalls, food and bar. The night will finish with a fireworks display. Cost: Free entry Details: Steven Kennedy 0420 977 854 or steven@gc123.com

September 16

In Australia, a child is abused every 13 minutes. You can help prevent it. So, don’t just stand there. Join the thousands of Australians who get involved in National Child Protection Week every year. How: Visit www.napcan.org.au

September 17

Movies by the Sea

Buzz Day - Diabetes Australia

Where: Palm Beach Parklands When: Movie begins at 6.30pm. Enjoy free entertainment under the stars at the Movies by the Sea program held at Palm Beach Parklands. Gather your friends and family and enjoy the evening watching a range of family classics on the large outdoor screen. Bring along a picnic or order a meal from the Dune Cafe. Cost: Free Details: www.gcparks.com.au

This September buy a bee and take the sting out of diabetes. On Diabetes Buzz Day, hundreds of volunteers will hit the streets of many major cities, banging the diabetes drum to spread the word and raise much needed funds for diabetes awareness, research, education programs and advocacy services. How: Bee merchandise will be for sale through September at selected Retail Outlets across the country. For details visit www.buzzday.com.au.

17-18

‘Like’ us on Facebook www.facebook.com/kidsonthecoast September 17

September 17

Make-A-Wish® Australia, Gold Coast Branch Annual Gala Dinner Where: Paradise Room Arts Centre, Bundall When: 6:30pm This year’s dinner is themed around a Cruise Ship, The “SS Make A Wish”. The night is packed with an amazing array of entertainment including, an Award Winning Headline Act. Cost: $89.00 Details: Tickets available www.stickytickets.com.au/5736 or 0407 725 463

Adventure Activities Where: Pacific Pines Central Park, 149 Pacific Pines Boulevard When: 9-11am Looking for adventure? Keep the kids active. Activities include putting up tents, orienteering, shelter set up, first aid races, chariot races, obstacle courses and treasure hunts! Cost: Free. Bookings required. Minimum age six years and children must be accompanied by an adult. Details: bookings@vertecadventure.com.au

September 18, 29 & 30

September 18

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs Where: Sept 18 - Miami Pool, 80 Pacific Ave, Miami Sept 29 - Woongoolba Pool, Staplyton Jacobs Well Road, Jacobs Well Sept 30 - Helensvale Pool, Rugby Lane (off Discovery Drive), Helensvale When: From 5pm Let the kids enjoy the pool inflatables and aqua balls. Settle on the grass for a BBQ and movie. Details: www.citypools.com.au

Where: Palm Beach Parklands, Gold Coast Highway, Palm Beach When: 10:30am-12noon Craft in the park are hands on workshops which will allow your kids to express their creativity through a wide range of stimulating, hands-on activities. Cost: $2. Bookings required Details: www.gcparks.com.au

September 25

September 26

September 30 & October 1

Where: Paradise Point Parklands, The Esplanade, Paradise Point When: 10am-1pm The kids will have a ball on this 5m inflatable side while you sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet. Why not bring a picnic and enjoy a day out in the park with the family. All ages are welcome. Cost: Free Details: www.gcparks.com.au

Where: The Spit When: 10-11am Bring the kids down to meet Gee Cee the dog and educate your family how to safely and respectfully interact with dogs. Cost: Free Details: goldcoastcity.com.au/patandplaysafely

Where: The Arts Centre, Gold Coast When: Fri Sept 30, 6:30pm, Sat Oct 1, 11:00am Prepare to be amazed by two hours of absurd acrobatics, graceful aerial performance, fastpaced knockabout comedy, plus much more. Circus Oz will have you gasping and then laughing yourself silly! Cost: $46 Adult, $25 Child, $120.00 Family (2 adults + 2 children) Details: www.theartscentregc.com.au

September 17-18

Gold Coast Pet and Animal Expo Where: Central Park Drive, Varsity Lakes When: 9:30am-4pm This popular community event will showcase all the latest products and innovations in pet and animal care with an exciting program of activities, presentations by renowned animal experts, competitions, exhibits and entertainment. Cost: Free Details: www.goldcoastpetexpo.com.au

Outdoor Movie Night

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A Pillow Pet AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

BABIES ON

the coast

I had a deep-down dread that something would be wrong I felt so lonely and wanted to know how other people coped

Miscarriage

There was that fear, ‘what if we can’t have a baby?

the reasons, the emotions, the healing

by Kim Lahey

“I felt so lonely and wanted to know how other people coped.” That’s why Lea agreed to share her story. And miscarriage, the loss of a pregnancy before 20 weeks gestation, is a more widespread story than most of us imagine. One in five babies take the chapters of parenthood back to a blank page within the first twelve weeks of their life. Maybe more. Up to 20% of women who know they are pregnant have a miscarriage some time before 20 weeks of pregnancy, advises worldwide clinical information resource UpToDate. But many women who have very early miscarriages don’t realise they are pregnant, and when detected and included, increase the total miscarriage rate to 31%. Fertility Specialist and Gynaecologist Petra Ladwig tells her patients at the outset that miscarriage is not unusual. “We re-assure them it is normal and the chances in the long term of a normal pregnancy are good,” Dr Ladwig says. Many people have had a miscarriage, people who have been trying a long time, she explains. “If you have been trying for five years to fall pregnant, it is a very big loss, there has been a big investment,” she says. Past the twelve week mark though, the figures plummet. 80% of miscarriages happen within those first twelve weeks, UptoDate advises.

Wondering why Integral to miscarriage recovery is freedom from self-blame. “People often do wonder if it was their fault. They ask me, was it because I did this?” Dr Ladwig says. “Often we need to tell them it was not the jog they went on or the tablet they took,” she explains. Miscarriage causes and ‘medical unknowns’ co-exist. So what do we know? An undeveloped embryo accounts for one-third of miscarriages that occur before eight weeks. In other cases, the embryo develops but is abnormal. Chromosomal abnormalities are common, they account for around 41% of early miscarriages, UptoDate advises. Medical conditions, or structural problems in the reproductive tract, like uterine fibroids, can also lead to miscarriage. More than one miscarriage usually prompts medical investigation. “In the old days when people had five or six children, they may have had three or four miscarriages before it was investigated, but these days, we do investigate after two miscarriages,” Dr Ladwig explains.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

First time around First pregnancy, first ultrasound. “I had a deep-down dread that something would be wrong,” Lea says. And during that ultrasound she was told the baby had no heartbeat and was the size of a 6-week-old. Lea knew her dates; she knew she was 11 weeks pregnant. “We hadn’t told our families, as they were coming to our place in 2 days’ time for Mother’s day lunch, where we were going to announce our exciting news.” Instead they called their families to tell them they had lost a baby. Lea thinks deep down she knew when something was not right. She dreaded both the ultrasounds where she found out the babies had died. “Yet I was looking forward to the ultrasounds of the three that resulted in my children!” Lea says.

Reactions Miscarriage might be ‘normal’ and it probably does not mean anything is wrong medically, but what about how we feel? Now-mother-of-three, Lea, felt an overwhelming sadness when her first baby died. It was her first pregnancy and she knew friends who had lost a number of pregnancies. “There was that fear, ‘what if we can’t have a baby?’ ” Lea says. After her first miscarriage, Lea had a successful pregnancy; she welcomed her first baby girl into the world. But 18 months later Lea had her second miscarriage, which led to a secondary infertility. During this time she had a number of friends having children. “It was very hard to separate my sadness and frustration from my happiness for them,” she says.

The ticking clock The subsequent miscarriage hit Lea hard. “I think because I had a baby and it was more real to me that I’d lost a baby,” Lea says. Her idea of what her family would look like (she’d always wanted a less-than-two-year gap) was changing. The first time she felt her plans had just been delayed, she’d try again. “But with the second one, I felt acutely that the age gap between my children was increasing with every month that I was infertile,” Lea says. Lea’s first three pregnancies had only resulted in 1 baby. It was a real discipline to enjoy early pregnancy and to stop herself wishing the first trimester would hurry up.

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the coast “It was even harder for my husband,” she says, because they both wanted to be excited. So Lea would say ‘until I know any different: we’re going to have a baby!’ Lea’s third pregnancy was successful; she has a three-and-a-half year gap between her first two children.

A helping heart “A kindy mum told me ‘remember, it’s not your fault’ - boy that helped” shared mother-of-two, Jill. Talking, listening, healing. Lea tells of a friend who, after Lea’s miscarriage, sat with her and asked questions, like when her baby was due. And then offered support around the time of the due date. Support groups advise if you cannot find the right words to say to a friend or family member who has lost a baby, it is better to say “I’m sorry” than nothing at all. Lea’s own experience taught her how to support friends who then had miscarriages. She was able to sit and cry with them “to listen to their story and share their sadness,” she says. But she says if people don’t want to talk, it is best to just acknowledge their sadness and let them be. “It’s just such a personal sadness and I really didn’t believe anyone could understand it unless they had experienced it themselves,” Lea says Lea recalls how difficult it was to share her grief with friends the first time around. “It was too raw and I couldn’t talk about it without sobbing. I couldn’t tell anyone but my very closest friends until I had my first child,” she says. For family and friends sometimes there is just nothing to say. Just be quiet, be with them, hold their hand, touch their shoulder, or give them a hug, support groups advise. When Lea could not share her grief, journaling helped. “I wrote to the baby, I wrote about my feelings and my sadness that we weren’t going to be mother and child together, after all,” she explains. Lea also kept the photographs of the flowers her sisters gave her, and the ultrasound. Eventually, after she had her first child, “I think that happiness finally surpassed the sadness,” Lea says.

Art therapy

Heart2art provides angel-baby tribute paintings of babies lost through miscarriages, stillbirths and neonatal death. For Heart2art’s owner Missi Woollard her work is about turning her own loss into a positive by helping others with theirs. “Through losing my baby I found myself painting again... It was the only way I could control my anger, as I didn’t want to wake the next day with my first thought being, I lost a baby,” she says. Missi paints lost baby ‘angels’ the way parents want to remember them, as tiny sleeping babies. She has painted 100 of the tributes in seven months and feels mothers who have lost babies have coped better by remembering their babies and being able to talk about them. “People out there do want and need something for themselves when they have nothing physical to show in remembrance,” she says. (Heart2Art.info) Missi supports a small local Sunshine Coast Charity, Jakes Gift which raises funds to provide ‘memory keeper’ tins to hospitals for grieving parents who have lost a baby due to heart disease. (Jakesgift.org.au)

Stage of loss: Stages of pregnancy loss present very separate challenges. Here, we have discussed early pregnancy loss – miscarriage – the loss of a pregnancy before 20 weeks gestation. Later loss presents its own heart-rending challenges. The contacts below may also assist those who have experienced later loss.

Her first miscarriage was 12 years ago now and Lea says she is so busy with her children she rarely stops to think about it.

For more information:

Good signs

Grief counsellors are available at IVF Units, and local hospitals have extensive local contacts for patients, appropriate for the type of loss they have experienced.

“To have conceived is a positive sign for the future,” Dr Ladwig says. Once people talk to others, they may discover family members or people they work with who might not have talked about their own miscarriage. Dr Ladwig explains, “They find out it is quite common …they find out others have gone on to have a normal pregnancy, and that their own chances are high.” Dr Ladwig highlights to her IVF patients that to have reached pregnancy shows plenty. “For the embryo to have the potential to reach that stage is a good prognostic sign in terms of the future,” she says. People are told the chances of miscarriage are about one in five, Dr Ladwig explains. “Just because it’s IVF does not make it higher, it’s more age related.” Chromosomal abnormality tests are available for those in the older age-group, to at least help them understand why it happened, Dr Ladwig explains. Regardless, “we try reassuring them that to have conceived in the IVF cycle is a good sign for the future,” Dr Ladwig says.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

www.health.qld.gov.au – to find local hospital and health professionals’ contacts

Medical Helpline 13 HEALTH (13 432 584) – medical advice and assistance from a registered nurse, available at any time. National Pregnancy Support Helpline 1800 422 213 – a national 24-hour-a-day, seven-day-a-week helpline which offers peer support services for those experiencing grief following miscarriage, as well as other losses. Angel Babies Foundation www.angelbabies.org.au - free counselling through psychologist trained volunteers to those challenged by infertility, touched by the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death, as well as supporting parents of premature babies. The Small Miracles Foundation 1300 266 643 - provides free telephone, online and face-to-face counselling for Australian families dealing with fertility issues, miscarriage, neonatal loss, still birth, premature birth or infant loss.. Or visit www.smfoundation.org.au www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

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AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

PARENT

ville

by Jeff License

Being Dad It’s Father’s day again, promising us Dads an array of socks, chocs, jocks, aftershave, gardening tools, car wash, razors and other essentials in a man’s life. But once the presents have been opened, the milky cornflakes wiped off the doona and the sun set on the day, what does it mean to be a good father these days and how do busy fathers live full, balanced and creative lives in the fast paced 21st century? My own journey as a father started 8 years ago. My wife greeted me at the door one day with a mischievous grin, held up a double-blue-lined pregnancy test and we were gone. We were building a house at the time and there’s nothing like a baby’s due date for a man to really throw his back into his work. Consequently, 2 weeks before we were due to move in and about 3 months before the baby was due, I did throw my back out and found myself an immobile wreck. All I could do was watch my heavily pregnant wife pack and stare at the mess around our new house. Thankfully, an upright posture was mine again in time for the birth... but despite being physically able, I was little help through 28 hours of heart shattering and unproductive labour. Eventually my wife Nadia was taken in for an emergency caesarean and our beautiful son Asher entered the world to the sound of his mother singing “Oooh child, things are going to get easier...” There is no preparation for fatherhood. Sure, having a dog and looking after nieces and nephews was good practice, but the sheer 24/7, sleep-deprived, stained and messy magnitude of it all has to be experienced to be believed. A wise father a few years ahead of me said, “Once you get through the first 6 weeks, you’ll be ok.” It took us all of that time and more to get used to this suckling little creature dominating all aspects of life and yet, it couldn’t have been more right. I remember my first trip to the shops with 3 week old Asher. I carried him proudly, feeling like he was the first and most beautiful baby in the world. It was then I started noticing all the prams and other babies traveling the aisles with me. It was like joining a new team and it felt special to be wearing the same vomit-stained jersey. I could now give that small, knowing, “Yes, aren’t they cute” look to passing mothers, and the more understated, “Oh my God, what have we got ourselves into...I haven’t slept in weeks.... but isn’t it amazing!” look to passing Dads. A few months later, I had another revelation about the depth of this new team I had joined. I was standing at the beach with Asher in the shallows, letting him enjoy the splash and surge of the water, when I noticed several other men around me, patiently watching over their kids. This was a group of men I’d never noticed before - tired, bedraggled, loving Dads watching over their flock. It made me think for the first time of the long line of fathers before me who had stood in these deep parental waters and it felt special to be part of that number. And it made me think of my own Dad. My father’s story is sadly short. He died of cancer at age 48, the father of 5, when I was 12. My memories of him, some real and some reflections from stories and photos, are of a strong, smiling, practical man who built our house, fixed our cars, loved us and our mother and worked as an engineer. When Dad got sick, it was like the air was sucked from the room. He started feeling sick on New Year’s day 1980 and died on Remembrance day that same year. As a 12 year old, his loss was well beyond my emotional comprehension and no one was ever able fill that man-sized void.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

About Father’s Day: • The first Fathers day was celebrated in Fairmont, West Virginia on July 5, 1908. • It was organized by Mrs. Grace Golden Clayton, and inspired by the first celebration of Mothers day that same year. In spite of support from the YWCA, the YMCA and churches, Father’s Day was often met with derision. Many people saw it as the first step in filling the calendar with mindless promotions. • In the 1930s, the Associated Men’s Wear Retailers association formed a National Father’s Day Committee in New York City, attempting to legitimize Fathers Day in order to boost sales and the custom of giving gifts on that day became progressively more accepted. Wikipedia -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father’s_Day#History

I wonder now how my Dad had time to do all that was asked of him; go to work, be a good husband and father, volunteer at a million working bees, as well as build our house on weekends over 15 years. I wonder how he found balance in his life and if he looked after the things that he felt passionate about. I’d love to sit down and ask him. For me, fatherhood is about more than being a provider. It’s about striking a balance between spending time with my wife and kids and following my creative passions as a video producer, writer and teacher. My own children are now aged four and seven and the more time I spend with them, the more I learn. The other day I asked them, “Where does the energy come from that makes things alive in the world?” Mia (4) said, “We are on the planet and it’s spinning around like you’re in a race and that’s why your heart’s beeping when you’re running.” Asher (7) thought for a minute, then said, “The energy for the world comes from ....the Sun....God....love ......your heart!” I could only smile and agree and think how lucky I am to be a Dad sharing his life with these amazing little beings. Jeff Licence is a writer, filmmaker, early childhood teacher and media education consultant. The full version of this article can be found at Jeff’s blog: www.jefflicence.wordpress.com, along with other stories about children, parenting, teaching and media. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

health

good

by Cassi Cowlam

Not just skin deep! Itchy, red, scaly, dry, weeping, painful … when our skin is showing signs of distress, what is it really trying to tell us? Our skin provides a natural barrier to protect us from our external environment, so when symptoms show up on our skin, it is important to understand that our body is trying to tell us that perhaps somewhere else, something is not right. It is not just a reflection of the surface itself, but also of our internal environment. Our skin has a big job to do. As the largest organ of the human body, it is a highly evolved semi-permeable barrier that helps us detoxify, regulates fluid balance and temperature, protects our vital organs, assists our immunity and helps us synthesise Vitamin D. Common signs of skin dysfunction include conditions such as eczema, dermatitis, hives, psoriasis and acne, to name but a few. Not only are these an embarrassing and distressful condition for the sufferer, but are also a “red flag” that perhaps something else is out of balance that is creating inflammation that is being expressed on the surface. It is not just “skin deep”. Skin and your child – is it eczema? Eczema can affect up to 10-20% of our children, and is a condition I commonly see in practice. So what is it, and can it be treated?

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Does your baby or child have a red, hot, dry and itchy rash that usually affects either one or many areas of the body? It can also sometimes have fluid-filled bumps that can ooze. It commonly affects the face (especially at the beginning), back of legs, elbows, back of neck and can move to the trunk area.

‘Varicose or Spider Veins?’

Often we are told there is no cure, and creams and lotions are applied which can give symptomatic relief, but is not really addressing what is “driving” the condition. What is causing the inflammation? Perhaps there has been an environmental reason affecting the barrier breakdown making the skin more vulnerable, for example soaps and detergents. There is often a family history of hay fever, asthma and other allergies and this is an important consideration that needs to be addressed. Mum’s and dad’s family history is very important.

Relax Sit down and discuss your options with the experts for complete confidence.

Naturopathically I believe there often is a pattern of where the condition of the skin reflects the condition of the gut. As the gut is such an important part of our immune system, and is our baby’s “first line of defence” against its environment, if it is compromised then often this is expressed externally on the skin. Evidence of this is supported by clinical research whereby infant eczema was significantly improved by the supplementation of specific probiotics (good bowel flora). Infantile atopic eczema is often the first sign of allergies and is associated with food hypersensitivities in a high percentage of cases. Disrupted gut dysfunction can also lead to nutritional deficiencies that then contribute further to poor skin function, leading to increased risk of pathogens invading the body, compromising the immune system even more and then the cycle can continue. It can be treated and it is important to take a holistic approach and not just see the “skin” as the problem, as there can be various factors that need to be addressed. A helpful tool is live blood analysis, using a darkfield microscope and a pin prick of blood which is viewed immediately in clinic, giving an assessment of possible nutritional deficiencies, immunological disorders and gut health. This test can be performed on anyone at any age. About the author Cassi is a graduate of the Australian College of Natural Medicine as well as the London College of Nutritional Medicine. The information contained in this article is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for individual professional medical advice from your physician or qualified health care provider. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

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Hemp

a product that won’t cost the earth Vote for sustainability – think hemp by Maxine Arthur

Hemp has the potential to be an environmental hero if its value is recognised and supported by government, investors and public demand. Unfortunately, the oldest and most versatile cultivated plant in the world is also the most misunderstood in Australia. The fact that industrial hemp and marijuana both derive from the cannabis species creates widespread confusion and political sensitivity. The truth is that products made from industrial hemp do not contain drug substances. The Department of Primary Industries Queensland explains, “The Cannabis sativa plant contains tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) the psycho-active (mind-altering) ingredient produced in specialised glands found primarily in the flowers surrounding the seeds, and to a lesser extent, on the leaf surface of the plant. No THC is found in the seed. The difference between industrial hemp and marijuana used for illicit drug purposes is that the THC exists in significantly lower concentrations in industrial hemp.”

Hemp: the great all-rounder Rembrandt and Van Gogh painted their masterpieces on hemp canvas and the Declaration of Independence was signed on hemp paper, but hemp was in common use much earlier than that. Hemp is believed to have originated from the Himalayas where it still grows wild today. After the Great Depression of the 1930s and the deprivations of war, people embraced new products and technologies. Plastic, nylon and polyester replaced natural, renewable and sustainable – and we are now becoming aware of the cost to our environment.

Why hemp? Hemp is practical. It’s softer, more absorbent, stronger and more durable than other fibres. It’s warmer in winter, cooler in summer and more UV resistant. It can be used in 100% hemp products or blended with other organic fibres such as flax, cotton and silk. Hemp is environmentally friendly. It requires few pesticides and no herbicides. Hemp enriches the soil, uses less water and produces 2-4 times as much fibre per hectare than other sources. It grows quickly and puts down a very deep root which breaks up the soil and leaves it in good condition for next year. Hemp doesn’t require bleaching with chlorine, which produces toxic water. Hemp is versatile. It has hundreds of current and emerging applications. It is used in oil-based paints, cosmetics, textiles, cooking, plastics, fuel, paper, food and medicines. Newer products include building composites, fibreglass replacement products, automobile interior panels and trims, and absorbency products (kitty litter, potting mix, nappies).

Why aren’t we using more hemp? Five Australian states are now allowed to grow industrial hemp under licence, but industry growth has been slow because, unlike other industrialised nations, Australian law prohibits hemp as food. The Industrial Hemp Association of Queensland (IHAQ) secretary Matt Stapleton supports calls to legalise industrial hemp for human consumption. He believes there is consumer demand for such a move.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

“The use of the internet and other information sources has enabled the public to be better informed about the benefits and nutritional properties of industrial hemp as a food. It is widely used in the northern hemisphere and Australia is one of the last western countries that continue to ban the use of industrial hemp as a food.” Matt also points out that the government regulatory body Food Standards Australia New Zealand (FSANZ) acknowledges that there are no known reasons to reject industrial hemp as an approved food. In an article titled Industrial hemp as food, FSANZ says: “Hempseeds are rich in the essential fatty acids, omega-3 and omega-6, which are required for vital body functions, including the immune response, lipid hydrolysis, blood clotting, vascular dilation and cardiac function. These and other polyunsaturated fatty acids also play a vital role in maintaining cell membrane structure. “Hemp is currently used in other countries, including in Europe, Canada and the United States, in a range of foods including health bars, salad oils, non-soy tofu, non-dairy cheeses, and as an additive to baked goods, as well as being used as the whole seed, raw or roasted.” FSANZ says that an application in 2002 was rejected because of “State, Territory and Federal health ministers. Ministers were concerned that the availability of hemp foods may increase consumer acceptance of illicit Cannabis use and pose problems for drug enforcement agencies”. Matt says that this rejection has ‘spooked’ investors. “Our industry colleagues from the Northern Hemisphere (China, Canada & Europe) are seeing strong economic growth within the value adding sectors of the hemp food and fibre industries while here in Australia our government and opposition roll around within the climate change debate and fail to acknowledge the potential of an innovative industry like industrial hemp.” Matt acknowledges that the cannabis connection still causes problems. “The image (of hemp) can be improved by positive marketing and this has to start with policy change from government first. The bad jokes that come up in conversations (Can you smoke it?) do plenty of damage to the industry. Also, marketing industrial hemp products using the leaf as a logo can give the wrong image to the product.”

Think globally, act locally Hemp products are not exactly main-stream. They don’t yet appear in your junk mail catalogues and shout their virtues in the television ad-breaks. But if you decide to join the growing band of people who want to leave the planet in better condition than it is now, a little online research will reveal several Australian businesses who can supply hemp products. Matt Stapleton and his wife Michelle run a small business, Sustainable Hemp Products (SHP), which has stalls at baby and kids markets and sells online. Michelle said that theirs is a family business that makes and sells products made from industrial hemp, bamboo, organic wool, organic cotton and other natural fibres. Their range shows the versatility of hemp. They specialise in products for babies and young children such as modern cloth nappies, clothes and accessories. Michele, an exnurse, explained the advantages of the different natural fibres she uses – breathability, softness, durability, absorbency, anti-fungal and anti-bacterial properties. The variety of colours and patterns and quality workmanship was impressive. If we are serious about finding practical and environmentally sensible alternatives to finite resources such as timber and oil, hemp is a prime candidate. Information about industrial hemp and the industry: www.ihaq.com.au, www.ecofibre.com.au, http://industrialhempaustralia.com.au www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

PARENT

profile

Documenting delight! by Belinda Hopper

Not many people can say the birth of their child has been viewed by over 100,000 people! Georgia Brizuela is passionate about capturing precious moments and is unafraid of sharing them with the world. She has thousands of followers of her blog, Gregarious Peach, and hundreds more on Facebook. She asked her sister to film her second child’s Theo’s water birth, which was then uploaded to Vimeo and Youtube. Georgia is intent on documenting precious moments in her children’s lives. She was inspired by her sister, Hailey, who undertook a 365 project; taking a polaroid photo of something she was grateful for every day for a year. Georgia says, “It changed her life and spread rapidly around the world. Thousands of people started doing her ‘Grateful 365’. I was so inspired by how it impacted her, on the morning of January 1, 2010 I picked up my camera and declared I was starting a 365 project with our daughter.” Being heavily pregnant with her son and an unmotivated procrastinator at heart, Georgia suspected it would turn out to be a ‘365 missing 360’ project. She had no idea how addictive her project would become. She now says it’s one of the best ideas she’s ever had, as it led her to start her blog, Gregarious Peach. Georgia says of her project, “it has taught me how precious my role as a mother is, how fleeting these moments are and how utterly grateful I am to be exactly here – with my babies.” Can you share with us a little about your family? Errol and I got married when I was 19. I struck it lucky meeting my best friend so early and being able to start our life together right away. He completes me. I studied Education at Uni and dropped out to get married and have Priya, who’s three. Our son Theo is 15 months old. Has motherhood been what you expected? No, not at all! I spent Priya’s first six months waiting for it to ‘get hard’. It has been more rewarding, more challenging and more empowering than I ever imagined. What are your greatest joys in parenting? The things that give me the greatest joy are the things that simultaneously break my heart. Being mildly vain, I thought I’d be one of those parents who want their children to be just like them - I am surprised that it gives me supreme delight to see them become THEM. This process of them growing up is almost as much a process of me letting them go and I am constantly in this state of awe, pride and joy… and begging the universe to keep them little forever. What are your parenting challenges? Oh, I have a lot! I was so lucky to have my husband parent with me nearly full-time the first year of our daughter’s life (he was working casually) but I’ve found it very hard parenting now he’s working very long hours, often for eight days straight, with only one day off. Presently I am finding it hard to find a balance of compassion and understanding with clear boundaries for our little girl. Part of me is rejoicing in this little person she’s becoming and the other part is quietly plotting ways to enforce blind obedience. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

What was your aim in starting your blog? It has evolved; initially it was just because I disliked the way Facebook made my photos look and because I wanted a place where I could share my work and customise it to my liking. However, after a year of blogging, and having ‘met’ so many incredible people online, I’ve become passionate about blogging in itself. My ultimate aim for my blog is to ‘document delight’. To share these incredible moments I’m blessed to witness. I want to encourage mothers in their own lives and feel so very honoured that so many mothers have been inspired to start their own 365 project with their own children. What inspired the name Gregarious Peach? The name ‘Gregarious Peach’ has been in my life for years. My middle name is Peach, it’s also our nickname for Priya, and a favourite school teacher used to call me Gregarious. What is a typical day like at your place? Happy chaos! And the ideal day would be happy chaos with less mess. What are your school plans for Priya and Theo? I intend to follow natural learning with my children. We won’t send them to school and we won’t mirror ‘school’ at home. We already have quite an active life at galleries, libraries and museums. As the children get older we will follow their own natural curiosity to build their education from. I am already blown away by the innate intelligence of children and cannot wait to help my children flourish at their pace and their readiness. Can you share your life philosophy with our readers? There is a beautiful cover by Cat Power (I Found a Reason) which I think sums up my core beliefs – that what comes is better than what came before. Truly I have found that no matter how broken I might have felt – that everything has happened exactly the way it should have, and what has come from terrible things or from wonderful things is always better than what came before. There is a remarkable beauty in the way things work out. Where do you hope to see yourself in 5 years’ time? On a permanent adventure in the Philippines! It has been our long-term goal to someday achieve that. I hope to still be blogging. I hope to be just as amazed and in love with my little family in the future as I am today. AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

holidays

HAPPY

Out

a e S

A taste of cruising for families

And then there’s small...

by Wendy Buckley, Travel with Kidz, www.travelwithkidz.com.au

Discover Fiji with Captain Cook Cruises Fiji Cruises offering tropical beauty and diversity. Why choose one of the Fiji Island resorts when there are over 300 islands to discover? There’s a Fiji Cruise adventure for the whole family - learn to dive Fiji, swim in the blue lagoon, discover ancient limestone caves, snorkel spectacular coral reefs, visit traditional villages and meet the locals. When snorkelling or diving Fiji you may even come face to face with a majestic manta ray.

A cruising holiday offers amazing experiences, fun and variety for the whole family. With the convenience of unpacking once, they deliver outstanding value for money for families as everything is paid up front.

Is bigger better? The ships just keep getting bigger and bigger so the big question to be answered “is big better?” Each family has different expectations and needs of their holiday. Today’s state-of-the-art cruise ships offer something for everyone. With rock climbing walls; ice-skating rinks; roller blade tracks; swimming pools; hot tubs; exercise facilities; movie theatres; Internet cafes; sports bars; libraries; video arcades; kids programs; spa services, shopping; gambling; cooking classes; enrichment seminars; guest lecturers; computer classes; yoga and more, there is plenty to keep the whole family entertained while cruising the oceans of the world. Others prefer small intimate ships which discover small ports allowing families the opportunity to mix with the locals including the wildlife and are far more educational.

Choosing a big ship The Allure of the Seas cruise ship is operated by Royal Caribbean Line and holds the current distinction of being the world’s largest passenger ship ever constructed weighing in at a massive 225,000 tonnes. A Royal Caribbean International® cruise is an adventure for all ages offering delicious dining, spacious accommodations, Broadway-style entertainment, Adventure Ocean® youth program and the most innovative ships on the high seas for one great price. Climb the signature rock-wall, hang-ten on the FlowRider®, play a round of mini-golf, or glide around the iceskating rink - all without spending another dime. A family favourite is the Carnival ship line operating out of Alaska, Europe, Caribbean and the Mexican Riviera. The new Carnival Conquest, for example, dedicates 4,200 square feet of its indoor space for kids, while the Carnival Pride offers family-friendly activities on its private island. Your home away from home is a ship that’s about the length of three football fields, with every square inch packed with things to do, see, taste and try. Another great option amongst the big ships is the Holland America cruise line. On Holland America ships they provide a wide variety of exciting youth and teen friendly activities with facilities for guests aged 3 to 17. With supervised fun for younger guests, the entire family can have the cruise vacation of their dreams. They have a fleet of over 14 ships sailing the world and operate out of Australia over the summer months.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

There’s more to Vietnam than motor cycles and shopping, a Halong Bay Cruise is an exciting and fun experience for families. Not all junks are family friendly and choosing the right junk is crucial to ensure safety for children. Halong Bay is a picturesque easy 3 hour drive from Hanoi and covers an area of 1,500 square km’s. With more than a thousand limestone peaks rising up from its crystalline emerald waters this area is rightly viewed as one of the natural wonders of Vietnam and is one of five World Heritage-listed sites. A two-day one night cruise on board Paradise Cruises gives your family the chance to enjoy the bay on a traditional junk. Here you can swim in the clear waters, wake to morning Tai Chi on deck, cruise through the caves, relax on deck and enjoy fabulous cuisine on the bay. There is also the option of exploring some of the bay’s most secluded lagoons using the fleet of modern kayaks for some unforgettable scenery only accessible by kayak. All the while you will be looked after by a dedicated and attentive crew. The cabins have panoramic views and offer connecting cabins and suites suitable for families.

The Celebratory Cruise More and more families are turning to a cruise holiday as a great way to bring the entire family together to celebrate a milestone anniversary or special event. Whether it’s a 50th Anniversary or a Wedding Party for 100 guests, cruise lines will go out of their way to welcome your group with special group rates, private cocktail parties, group photos, and more. A cruise ship is the ultimate place to host your family reunion and offers tremendous value as they are virtually all-inclusive holidays. They appeal to kids, grandkids, uni-age young adults, Mums, Dads, Aunts, Uncles, Grandmas and Grandpas. Forget dealing with the sleeping arrangements as cruise ships have a number of different types of staterooms for any budget including Suites, Balcony Staterooms, Oceanview Staterooms, and Interior Cabins. Each family can choose which type of stateroom best fits their budget. Imagine dining in the restaurant, sleeping in your cabin, waking and looking out your window to the cliffs of Santorini Greece, watching a whale in the Inside Passage of Alaska, having breakfast with Mickey Mouse on board Disney Cruise Lines or diving off the back of the boat in the blue waters of Fiji all from the comfort of your ship or boat!. Cruises can take the stress off the family budget, as the one price includes accommodation, all meals, activities, kids programs and entertainment. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

ALL OUR VENUES ARE INDOORS

Cash sales only No EFTPOS

ENTRY

$3 per adult Kids FREE

THE ULTIMATE MARKET FOR YOUR CHILDREN’S NEEDS

% of our proceeds go to Queensland Children’s Charities

Approved football training for kids aged 18 months to 7 years

Local classes at a venue near you - Southport, Pacific Pines, Burleigh, Kirra and Currumbin

BRISBANE – Sunday August 7 Quality Pre-Loved, and New Products

9.00am – 12 noon

Buy or Sell Brand Name Quality Clothing, Toys, Prams, Car Seats, Books, Nursery Furniture and so much more at a fraction of retail prices

Clem Jones Centre, Zahel St, Carina

GOLD COAST – Sunday August 21

Call for your free trial now!

Runaway Bay Indoor Stadium, Sports Dve, Runaway Bay

UPPER COOMERA – Sunday August 28

07 5574 9027

Upper Coomera State College, Gate 1, Reserve Road

TOOWOOMBA – Sunday November 6 Indoor Bowls Association, Annand Street, Toowoomba

goldcoast@littlekickers.com.au

Please check the website for the release of 2011 dates

www.littlekickers.com.au

Stallholder enquiries contact Karren 0433 831 140 or email info@zero2five.com.au

Where learning’s a ball

www.zero2five.com.au

Here's a sneak peek at our range…

Wall Art

Coming soon

Labels for Kindy, School, Aged Care and around the house! Plus invites for Little Kids, Big Kids and Parents too!

Name Labels ck, me Unstu D on’t co s! hU Stick wit

h Amy Smit Class 6A

From $12.95 Kay – Owner & Proud Mum to Jessica & Nicholas

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Yearning for some quality family time? In our overly hectic lives, we often yearn to slow down, reconnect with the kids and live a life less complicated. Living on the coast is fantastic, but sometimes it’s nice to escape for a temporary “tree-change”. It might not be possible to run for the hills permanently, but at Cedar Glen Farmstay you can at least escape for a little while. Cedar Glen has been in the Stephen’s family since 1882. Located at the foot of World Heritage Lamington National Park, this spectacular 1050 acre property is home to beef cattle, Arabian horses, milking cows, sheep, pigs, kangaroos and poultry. With clear mountain views, cooler nights, and crackling fires, Winter and Spring are great times to visit. A real highlight of Cedar Glen is the activities they have to offer. Imagine the kids’ excitement as they get to feed the animals twice daily, or try their hand at milking the house cow each morning. Don’t miss the opportunity to embark on a horse ride through some of South East Qld’s most spectacular country – riders of all ages and experience are catered for. You can also learn how to throw a returning boomerang and crack the Australian stock whip while enjoying a cup of billy tea and freshly made damper. Guests can stay in the original 1901 homestead, or choose one of three historic cottages which have been renovated to maintain the charm and authenticity of a bygone era. All buildings are surrounded by wide verandas perfect for soaking up the country views. Mums in particular will love the optional fully catered holiday. Imagine leaving even the cooking behind!

Escape to

info@cedarglen.com.au | (07) 5544 8170 | www.cedarglen.com.au Lost World Valley, Qld

If watching Discovery channel is the closest you’ve been to nature in a while, do something for yourself and the kids, and visit Cedar Glen. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

celebrate

LET’S

Dinner Party

Distractions At Kids on the Coast, we know how hard it can be to keep any resemblance of your previous social life once you have kids. We asked for your assistance on Facebook and many of you had some fabulous ideas for keeping the kids entertained whilst you’re having a dinner party. So what can you do when you would like to enjoy adult company over dinner? Here are some of the great ideas from our creative readers:

Maryanne “Give the children their own dinner party at the same time” Kate “My kids love camping in the garden. Set up a small tent in the yard, put lots of those safety camping lanterns around and pre-make a selection of food and snacks. Guaranteed that they will be entertained for ages!” Vanessa “Hire a babysitter or take the kids to the babysitter’s house” Suzanne “Hire an entertainer for a couple of hours...an art lesson, a magician”

Debbie “If you have older children (maybe 8 and up), you could have them as your butlers and wait staff. Dress them up, have a head butler and waitress” Alana “Glow stick bracelets are a huge hit when they are outside and keep the kids entertained. I bought about 5 packets for a 40th we went to and the kids loved it. Throwing them up in the air and playing. Kindy teachers are always good to hire as well.” Luke “Pull out all your old favourite board games and challenge the kids to create a new one of their own by mixing the old ones together” Gill “I create a kids version of our menu and allow them to replicate our dinner as much as possible. It helps them to learn how to behave during an adult’s dinner. That said, I always have something ready for them to do after dinner, usually games and DVDs” Alicia “Play dress up’s and putting on shows and dancing upstairs away from the adults.”

Awesome kids

Epic Birthday party FULLY CATERED! Includes:

packages!

• Rollerblade/rollerskate hire • Epic Birthday boy/girl gets their own announcement and Birthday song on the skating rink • Each Epic Birthday receives special attention from one of our Party Hosts and they will look after all your Birthday Party requirements y

Charmaine “When we have dinner parties, our guests arrive just as we are putting our littlie to bed! Most of our guests have older or adult children, so we are very lucky that they don’t need to be entertained!” Kelly “At a party we went to recently they had party bags for the kids on arrival - bubbles, pencils, colouring and activity books; it was a lovely touch and kept my kids busy for hours!”

r 1 enttr 2 fo 2011) lid Aug and Sep (Va

SESSION

TIMES

OPEN SCHOOL

HOLIDAYS M 10.30AM-4.30P Mon to Fri

2HR or ALL DAY SESSIONS

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Rink Session Hotline 5523 9660 32

ader Re

WEDNESDAY General Skate 10am-12nooon & 3.00pm-5.00pm (school term only) Di s c o u nt FRIDAY NIGHT Teen Disco: 7.30pm-10pm SATURDAY Learn to Skate 9.30-10.30am (includes morning session) Morning Skate 10.30 - 12.30, General Skate 2.30 - 7.00pm SUNDAY General Skate 2.30 - 4.30pm Wednesdays Tiny Tots & Mums COFFEE CLUB 10am - 12 Noon All sessions NSW time www.epicskate.com.au

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

Fun Kids Parties!

Hilarious Comedy Magic Show starring “Sparkles the Magic Rabbit” Premium Face Artistry, Super Cool Balloon Art Mix it up fun party packages available with Music, Bubbles and loads of fun

Call Damian & Michelle 0419 677 665 or 0412 804 190 mail@illuminateentertainment.com.au www.illuminateentertainment.com.au

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

IN THE

spotlight

Welcome to our new section dedicated to the talented, creative Mums on the Coast who work from home. Each issue we will profile a special crafty mum, so don’t forget to keep us in the loop! We will also showcase some of our favourite products (please send in your favourites), share our directory and let you know when and where the local markets will be held. Enjoy!

The Mummy Tree’s Kim Patapan and Cinde Rosser thrive on organised chaos by Jackie Goldston Kim Maree Patapan and Cinde Rosser both come from backgrounds where families are a priority and learnt early to step up and make things happen. So when they both came to a crossroad in their career paths, they put their heads together and started ‘The Mummy Tree’. Kim, who is a mum to five children, and Cinde, mum to three (with another on the way), pooled their understanding of being busy work at home mums and their extensive business experience to create a unique online business and fabulous crafty markets. Established just over a year ago, The Mummy Tree is a support network for small businesses from all over Australia. This successful business has been underpinned by their belief that the ‘work at home’ parent is a very under supported sector of the economy. They encourage people to mould their businesses to fit in with their individual lifestyle and needs. They also hold the Mummy Tree Markets regularly in South East Qld, including the Gold Coast, and these are expanding to other locations. Can you give our readers a snapshot of your family? Kim - My husband has a successful business as an Architect and a Property Developer. Since we both have our own businesses we can share pick-ups and drop-offs for school and the children’s varied after hours activities. Be it soccer, rowing, saxophone or a social event- most days there are a few activities on in the afternoons/evenings so we are always coordinating our schedules to ensure our five children get the opportunity to experience their own interests and to shine in their own speciality. Life is hectic but never boring and we thrive on organised chaos! Cinde - My family life is very busy as my husband and I both work from home and we juggle childcare together. My husband has a successful web and computer networking/repair business whilst my time is spent on ‘The Mummy Tree.’ We do work around each other and try to maintain a routine but like many work at home parents you do feel like you are always working. All my children are very different my eldest is a deep thinker my second child is very loving and social and my youngest is very smart and sweet. Have you had a career change and if so what inspired it? Kim - Yes I worked very long hours in a corporate environment for many years and had a successful banking career. I always exceeded my goals and the company’s expectations. I am an all or nothing type of person and when I commit to something I give it my all. My work was a large part of who I was though and I www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

thrived on it so it was not easy for me to walk away. After my maternity leave was finished I left my daughter in day-care only one day, as the first day they phoned me to say they had never had a child cry hysterically nonstop for so long and could I please come and pick her up. Obviously the needs of my family were my priority so I decided to work from home and initially started a Family Day Care business. Cinde - Prior to starting ‘The Mummy Tree’ I worked in design and architectural drafting. We fell into our current business by accident really as we could see that there were a lot of small businesses on facebook that were struggling to find a voice and to find growth strategies and support. That was why we started our business but we never imagined it would be as popular as it has been. We are both really happy however as we can work from home around our children and also do something really worthwhile which is extremely rewarding. What business advice has had the biggest impact on you? Kim - Do something that you are passionate about and be true to yourself. You will never be the best you can be at a job you dislike. Be bold and go for what you really want. Life is too short to have regrets. Cinde - My father is a successful entrepreneur and has always worked for himself; he has really given me the confidence to believe I can do anything. One of the things he told me early on was that you have to speculate to accumulate and that has really stuck with me as it means to me that you have to take some risks and believe in yourself or you will never reach your full potential. What has been the biggest learning curve for you working from home? Kim - I found it difficult to switch off. We do not need to work 24/7 and are more productive when we are in work mode. We still work hard as we love what we do but we have playtime too. Work/life balance has been a learning curve for me. Cinde -Time management and routine definitely. I think you always have to allow more time for things and also really try hard to allocate time off too as it can otherwise become all-consuming. What’s the motto you live by? Kim - ‘Live the life you want- make it happen’ Cinde - ‘Be true, kind and honest – stand by what you say and don’t forget to think big’ AUGUST / september 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

d n a h D e k pic

our selection of work at home mum finds

Little hands, little feet

Hand & feet sculptures by Impressionable Kids are a magical way of capturing how cute & tiny your child’s hands and feet once were – how quickly we forget! www.impressionablekids.com.au

Walkie Chalkie?

Entertain your little ones with this take anywhere roll up chalk board in an array of fabulous materials from Skip Chasey. RRP $15 www.facebook.com/SkipChasey

Easy crafty fun!

QuickCraft have a large range of DVDs full of crafty ideas to keep your kids busy and entertained RRP $29.95 www.quickcraftonline.com

Little Sew and Sews Three piece softie tool sets come in a great range of materials and won’t damage furniture, TV’s or siblings! RRP $15 www.facebook.com/littlesewandsews

1 Puddle Lane

With fabulous fabrics to choose from, 1 Puddle Lane creates happy mums and well-dressed kids, from $25 www.facebook.com/1PuddleLaneClothing

Born gorgeous!

We just cannot get enough of these cute outfits from Born Gorgeous, with a great range for boys and girls in sizes 00 – 8. From $24.95 www.borngorgeous.com.au

Nappies with attitude Spice up your baby with a funky Baby Chilli Modern Cloth Nappy. RRP $33 www.facebook.com/ babychilli.au

In the hair…

Beautiful handmade Lavender & Purple spot korker on a pretty Lace Headband RRP $7.00 www.facebook.com/ LittlePrincessHairClips

KiDs on tHe CoAst – AUGUST / september 2011

Colour me not No more messy clothes with this make your own design smock from Pimpernel Clothing playwear collection. RRP $56 www.pimpernelclothing.com.au

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

Markets and Fetes August / September 2011