Kids on the Coast Magazine - Gold Coast - Issue 33 by Shore Media

! ! E e R F

o go, aces t l p , o & parents to d things for kids everything

IssUe 33 JUNE/JULY 2o11

GOLD coast

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH Middle School

Striking a balance THE GREAT DIVIDE:

Heaps of coo prizes to

WIN

when parenting-styles clash

WEIRD PREGNANCY CRAVINGS - Anyone for gherkins and ice cream? Nature Deficit: a true disorder or a ploy to get the kids outside?

plus Babies on the Coast, what’s on Calendar and lots more!

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CONTeNTS June/July 2011

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Education Queensland

8 4

FEATURE Striking a balance

WELCOME

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

Kids on the Coast NEWS

WHAT’S NEWS

Competitions

CHECK THIS OUT

DUCATION: What’s the deal with E middle school?

BABIES ON THE COAST: WEIRD PREGNANCY CRAVINGS

New, fun and funky things

FEATURE: Striking a balance ow do we keep kids safe without being H overprotective?

Did you have any? Find out the science behind them

THE ‘P’ FILES: THE GREAT DIVIDE: When parenting-styles clash…and they will!

Kids on the Coast magazine is printed with vegetable/soy based inks on paper supplied using pulp sourced from sustainable forests and manufactured to environmentally accredited systems. Kids on the Coast encourages recycling. Please keep this issue for future reference, pass onto your friends and family, use for craft projects or place into the recycling bin. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

F ind out what’s happening on the Coast for June and July

HEALTH llergies and Intolerances: A natural health A perspective

ONLY NATURAL: Nature Deficit Disorder Experts say kids and nature need more of each other!

LET’S CELEBRATE We’ve got some Winter Party Ideas for you

KIDS ON THE COAST DIRECTORY

PARENTVILLE The boy knows his rock!

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kidsonthecoast.com

Read more @ www.

WHAT’S ON CALENDAR

PUBLISHED BY: THINGS 4 KIDS PTY LTD. PO Box 491, Eumundi QLD 4562 PHONE: 1300 430 320 FAX: 07 5476 6037 WEB: www.kidsonthecoast.com.au ABN: 86 473 357 391. All editorial and advertising in Kids on the Coast is published in good faith based on material, verbal or written, provided by contributors and advertisers. No responsibility is taken for errors or omissions and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All material in Kids on the Coast is subject to copyright provisions. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Feedback/comments/suggestions? Send to: editorial@kidsonthecoast.com.au. We aim to reply to all correspondence but don’t guarantee to do so. Letters to the editor may be edited for length or clarity. PUBLISHER: Toni Eggleston ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER: Simone Bell EDITOR: Jackie Goldston EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS: Shannon Breen, Justine Stewart, Kim Lahey, Maxine Arthur, Sarah Hindle, Cassi Cowlam, Aleney de Winter ADVERTISING: For advertising enquiries please phone Tanya Ryan on 1300 430 320 or email: gc@kidsonthecoast.com.au LOCAL BUSINESS DIRECTORY: Speak with your advertising coordinator or email: gc@kidsonthecoast.com.au Production Department: Email: production@kidsonthecoast.com.au ADMINISTRATION: Kellie Kruger DISTRIBUTION: Kids on the Coast (Gold Coast edition) is a free publication circulating over 20,000 copies from Coomera to Coolangatta. A separate edition covers the Sunshine Coast. For distribution enquiries please phone: 1300 430 320 or email: admin@kidsonthecoast.com.au FRONT COVER: Andrea Sproxton. Clothing: Prince Ratbag www.princeratbag.com, Car: Bright Sparks, Cotton Tree GRAPHIC DESIGN: Michelle Craik

JUNE / JULY 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

Welcome to

Kids on the Coast fReE!!

To Go, PlACES PARENTS To Do, kIDS & THINGS HING foR EVERYT

IssUe 44 MAY/JUNe 2o11

SuNSHINE CoAST

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Y T I N U COMM OUR KIds

ST A o C on the

‘Like’ us on Facebook

www.facebook.com/kidsonthecoast …and tell your friends!

STRIkING A BAlANCE

WHAT’S THE DEAl WITH mIDDlE SCHool

THE GREAT DIVIDE:

when parenting-styles clash!

WEIRD PREGNANCY CRAVINGS - Anyone for gherkins and ice cream? Nature Deficit: a true disorder!? (or a ploy to get the kids outside?) plus BABIES oN THE CoAST, WHAT’S oN CAlENDAR AND loTS moRE!

Well it had been a long time coming, and we ‘almost’ found our little piece of paradise! Yes – ‘almost’. From the humble beginnings in my hallway, to the fabulous community of Eumundi, to the highway in Forest Glen, and ‘almost’ to the beach…. oooh, I could smell the sea air from here! I say ‘almost’ – because as we go to print, we had found our perfect piece of paradise – but one tiny setback – we can’t get ADSL lines. So while it was a nice idea being able to see whales from our office balcony, we figured emails were a fairly important aspect of running three magazines! All good things come to those who wait, so watch this space! This issue brings you some thought provoking articles. Are you a helicopter parent? Or maybe a free-range parent? Or even a lawnmower parent? Check out the article on page 8 and you may recognize yourself under one of these headings. It’s a controversial one so if you want to have a say, go to our facebook page and join the discussion. This issue also brings some more exciting design changes. We love change! We received fantastic feedback on the cover changes in our previous issue, so we decided to give the whole issue a slight overhaul. Let us know what you think! I hope you enjoy our 33rd edition of Kids on the Coast. Don’t forget to join the Facebook community for latest discussions, comps and more. As always, happy parenting!

Toni Eggleston

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

Magazines are dynamic: always growing and evolving. And here at Kids on the Coast, we’re very happy to be expanding our team. Welcome to Samantha Power, who has just joined our Sales team. And we hope you enjoy the first edition of our mag from our new editor, Jackie Goldston. Our facebook community is growing by the day! “Like” our page and join in the discussions; it’s a great way to keep up with our latest news and competitions.

Sneak peek at our next issue: advertiser alert!

• Feature: Shared parenting - changes to family law • Education: Indigenous culture in education • The P Files: Why one love doesn’t fit all • Babies on the Coast: Miscarriage - still rarely spoken about • Only Natural: Hemp Got a product or service that has something to do with these issues? Like to tell our readers all about it? Call Tanya Ryan on 1300 430 320 for advertising info.

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S W Ne

ITY N U COMM THOUSANDS JOIN MOTHER’S DAY WALK

More than 3,500 people took to the streets in the Gold Coast Mother’s Day Classic walk held at Main Beach in May, joining more than 120,000 people in similar events across the country, to raise money for the National Breast Cancer Foundation research programs. About $2 million was raised by the event nationally last year. According to the National Breast Cancer Foundation, one in nine Australian women will be diagnosed with breast cancer by the age of 85.

Developing small home businesses

With rapid growth in home businesses being run by Mums, the businesswomen behind “The Mummy Tree” are regularly contacted by Gold Coast women looking for direction with starting their own business. With this in mind they are planning events designed to educate Mums wishing to work from home about the opportunities available. The first event will be held in Brisbane in early August, and is a great way to get an overview of many different types of business opportunities whilst enjoying a glass of champagne and some nibbles. Contact Kim and Cinde at The Mummy Tree on info@ themummytree.com.au or visit www.mummytree.com.au

Parliamentary Secretary for the Gold Coast 2018 Commonwealth Games Bid & Member for Broadwater, Peta-Kaye Croft MP, displays ‘Adopt a Commonwealth Country Schools Programme’ artwork

Local schools aid 2018 Commonwealth Games bid The Adopt a Commonwealth Country Programme is well under way with over 70 Gold Coast City schools finding out their adopted country at an information evening last month. The programme encourages the education of Gold Coast students about fellow Commonwealth countries and the Commonwealth Games, as well as actively contributing to the city’s Bid for the 2018 Commonwealth Games. Gold Coast 2018 Commonwealth Games Bid CEO, Mark Peters, said the programme is an important part of the Bid, particularly when the Commonwealth Games Association delegates visit Gold Coast over the next few months.

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A sanctuary for students Father Glenn Loughrey from Lindisfarne Anglican Grammar School has broken down barriers to get the message through to Generation Y students that the School Chapel is not only a place for worship but a place to come during lunch with the formation of a new time out pastoral care zone. The newly formed area offers the 600 Lindisfarne Grammar students at the Mahers Lane campus a respite area during breaks where they can come and relax in comfortable new surroundings to pray, reflect, meditate, engage in quiet discussion with other students, avail themselves to tea and coffee facilities, participate in board games or partake in pastoral care discussions with Father Glenn. “When I first arrived at Lindisfarne Grammar I could see that my Ministry was entering a new chapter as I had to ensure that I could get Generation Y to engage in and understand Christianity within a modern context and the fact that their parents are giving them the gift of an Anglican Christian education,” said Father Glenn. The first step in Father Glenn’s process was to develop a new philosophy that deliberately challenged students to question their own understanding and relationship with God through a greater understanding of what it means to attend an Anglican school, what is the School’s purpose in sharing the word and

how they are the greatest focus in the daily spiritual operation of the School. Father Glenn said, “The Lord really guided me to develop a new approach to how students perceived the School Chapel and to make it a more accessible building and not just a place of worship, I then had the idea to create a space where they could have their own zone.” The process involved changing an old stage area in the building with the installation of new carpet, furniture, bean bags, couches, board games, quiet meditative music and organised activities to ensure students had a new understanding of how the Chapel is much more than a space where they come each week for their year level chapel service. Father Glenn explained “I have also introduced a special program targeted at Years 5 and 6 students titled FROGS, which stands for ‘Fully Rely On God’s Son’, and this consists of our Year 12 students running group activities, games, devotion and singing time for up to 60 students during lunch time.” In addition to the new space, Father Glenn’s dog Monty has been included in the package as a communication tool to break down the barriers of students not engaging or avoiding conversation with others. The area has been a huge hit with students.

LINDISFARNE

ANGLICAN GRAMMAR SCHOOL

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JUNE / JULY 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

S ' T A H W

S W Ne ELLA’S PINK LADY TO CALL QUEENSLAND HOME Young Australian of the year Jessica Watson’s world famous boat Ella’s Pink Lady will call Queensland home after the State and Federal Governments agreed to buy the yacht. Queensland Premier Anna Bligh said Jessica’s story was an inspiration to people all over Australia and the world and that Ella’s Pink Lady would become a Queensland icon. “Sailing solo around the world at age 16 puts Jessica among the great Australian adventurers, and the pink lady will become a symbol of that Aussie free spirit here in Brisbane,” she said. Ella’s Pink Lady has been purchased jointly by the federal and state governments for $300,000 and will be housed at the Queensland Maritime Museum. Jessica Watson said she was pleased that both Governments had been able to keep Ella’s Pink Lady in Queensland. “I couldn’t think of a better home for her. Now all the public can get a chance to visit her and of course, I will be popping in regularly to check up on her,” she said.

DID YOU KNOW…?

There is an average of 18 million items for sale at any given time on Ebay. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

AUSTRALIAN FAMILIES PAYING MORE Official inflation figures released today showed families are facing even higher bills for basics such as food, petrol and electricity. Over the past 12 months, fruit prices have risen by 25 per cent, vegetables by 19 per cent, water and sewerage by 13 per cent; lamb by 12 per cent, electricity by 12 per cent; fuel by nine per cent and gas by five per cent. Rising household expenses are becoming a major problem for the Government, with education and health costs also on the rise.

ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE? FANCY SOME BREAST MILK ICE CREAM?! While ice cream comes in a wide range of flavours, one London restaurant may have taken it to the extreme. The Icecreamists restaurant is serving breast milk ice cream to customers in a cocktail glass accompanied by a rusk, calling the £14 dish “Baby Gaga”. The ice cream is made by blending breast milk with vanilla pods and lemon zest. The company is looking for more women to provide breast milk - and are providing £15 for every ten ounces extracted using breast pumps: Any volunteers? 6

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

With heart disease now the number one killer of Australian women, the Heart Foundation is running a free ten week ‘Healthy Heart Challenge’ to help women reduce the risks and improve their heart health. Starting on June 1, the challenge aims to encourage small, yet realistic lifestyle changes and provides support through weekly online newsletters to keep you motivated. Whether it’s becoming more active, quitting smoking or eating better, the challenge will help you meet your goals, and participants are eligible to enter the draw to WIN a range of fantastic prizes. Register now at www.goredforwomen.org.au. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

K C e CH

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FEATURE

by Shannon Breen How do we keep kids safe without being overprotective?

Striking a balance Think back to your own childhood. Remember the freedom of tearing off on your bike in search of adventure? Maybe you walked to school with friends, or took a bus solo to piano lessons or soccer training.

Now think about what you consider safe for your own children. Does your preschooler run free at the playground, or do you hover nearby? Do you drive your children to school, or home from the bus stop, though it’s not very far? Would you let your kids go to the park with their friends? In our desire to control a world we’re told is very dangerous for children, we may be denying our kids experiences we ourselves enjoyed,⎯experiences that may not be as dangerous as we think. The good news for helicopter parents is that if we relax a little and trust each other we can make our communities even safer for our children. Landing your helicopter will make your parenting workload a little lighter, and may make your child a more confident, competent person.

United States have declined in the last 30 years, parental anxiety about crime has increased. Things once expected of children like walking to school, riding bikes to a park and playing outside unsupervised are now considered aberrant and dangerous.

Skenazy says she looked at the real statistical risk and found kidnapping from a public place in the United States is extremely rare. So rare, she says, if your child stood on the average street corner they’d wait 750,000 years before they’d disappear. Similarly, in Australia, the number of children abducted by a stranger is very small. The Australian Federal Police estimates of the 35,000 people reported “missing” in Australia each year, half of these are “young people”. Over 95% of them are found, often at a friend’s place, most within 24 hours. (The Salvation Army claims a higher success rate of over 99%).

The free range parenting movement

This is not to downplay the tragedy of the small number of children who are abducted by criminals. The coronial inquest into Sunshine Coast teenager Daniel Morcombe’s disappearance in December 2003 is a potent reminder that some strangers do intentionally hurt children. But the Morcombe Foundation’s own website avoids a sensational take on missing children, recognising many teenagers go missing on their own. Overall, the community’s response to Daniel’s disappearance should hearten us, as much as the crime committed against him appals us.

Unapologetic, Lenore answered her critics with her book, Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry). In a wise-cracking New Yorker’s style, Lenore writes of a crazy paradox: although crime rates in the

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed as a parent. But we can take a positive approach (like teaching kids traffic skills, how to react to an uncomfortable situation, and where to seek help if they get lost), and focus on strengthening our communities. Instead of watching violent television that makes child abuse and abduction a weekly entertainment, go for a walk in your neighbourhood. Better yet, get to know your neighbours and get involved in community events. You may be surprised at how safe real life is compared to what’s on TV.

When New York journalist and mother of two, Lenore Skenazy, allowed her nineyear-old son to ride the subway home alone from an afternoon shopping trip, she copped a torrent of abuse and was dubbed “America’s Worst [in their parlance] Mom” on national television.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

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FEATURE

“Free Range parenting isn’t just about giving kids physical freedoms to explore the world.”

Mixing freedom with common sense

Local mum, Erin, 25, is determined to put the risks into perspective for her daughters, Cooper, 5 and Bailey, 3. Cooper started prep this year, and confidently makes solo forays to the tuckshop. She regularly peruses the lolly aisle in the supermarket while Erin spends a few minutes at the deli (“she’s still within earshot”), and is rarely bored or alone because she approaches kids she doesn’t know. “She’s quite happy to make friends with just about anybody that she encounters, anyone from another four-year old to a sixteen-year-old girl down the beach,” Erin says. “She’ll sit and chat with them and interact with them [without me being involved in the conversation]”. Is Erin concerned strangers could exploit Cooper’s outgoing personality? “As parents we always have that watchful eye. You have to go with your gut instinct and I’m always present. I just don’t see the need to interfere so long as things are within my comfort zone,” Erin says. “We have conversations about whether you feel comfortable, and if you don’t like something then it’s okay to say no. You can tell mummy if something doesn’t make you feel right…I trust her to put that into practice.” When Cooper is older, Erin would like her to walk to school with a group of friends, although she’s not sure if other parents will feel as comfortable as she does with the idea. “The media don’t report, ‘Ten children walked to school today safely and that’s wonderful.’ What we get is, ‘Someone pulled over and asked them directions’ and suddenly it’s red alert, get the police out there.” Erin tries to ignore the “scare mongering” in the media, and trust a little in her community so her kids can explore the world on their own as much as possible. “It may not be 100% safe, (but) I do think it takes a village to raise a child, and if I was to see a little girl being snatched up in a supermarket, then of course I would step in.” Townsville mum, Leona, 32, says while media reports of missing children “get to you” she tries not to let it influence how she parents her two-and-a-half year old son, Mitchell. “I personally don’t have a lot of fear and anxiety about him being snatched by a stranger. “Toddlers in particular move so fast, and they’re so clever about getting into where they want to be. For me, the big risks are not watching around pool areas, not watching when he’s in the kitchen.”

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

Learning Independence

Free Range parenting isn’t just about giving kids physical freedoms to explore the world. In her Free-Range Kids blog, Lenore Skenazy chronicles all the madness of modern parenting, from the “experts” who make us feel as if every tiny decision may be crucial to our child’s development, to the safety products industry that sells us baby knee pads for our crawler, a helmet for our toddler, or a special rubber ducky to tell us baby’s bath is too hot (what’s wrong with your elbow?). Parenting for every possible contingency, whether to control every outcome or avoid every injury can become a habit that’s hard to kick when your kids start school. If you stress over how lumpy baby’s puree is now, you may find yourself “helping” your kids with their homework so they don’t get less than an A, ever. All the better for their self-esteem, you may think. But educators say learning to cope with risk and failure is vital to development. Sunshine Coast Grammar School’s assistant head of junior school, Genevieve Hudson, has seen a shift in parental attitudes in her 32 years in education. “There’s a very different parenting style that’s emerging over ten years, where parents who are really busy sometimes feel to be a good parent you have to be very, very involved in your child’s life. And a good parent is someone who might carry the child’s school bag, unpack the child’s school bag for them, ensuring everything’s done.” Genevieve believes geographic mobility has led to a breakdown in the old support networks once provided by grandparents, aunties and uncles. “Parents are doing it tough, they’re doing it on their own, and it’s quicker for parents to get in and do it for the child and control the child’s life than it is to take time to empower the child to do things for themselves.”

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FEATURE

Genevieve says giving kids challenges need not be scary, especially if we “scaffold” the risk by teaching our kids life skills. “The challenge need not be that big (that) it’s terrifying and frightening, but enough of a challenge to be a new experience…that might be something from using adventurous words in your writing through to initiating play with children you don’t know to having a go at solving a conflict with a friend. “Life as an adult is filled with challenges, and as a child if you’ve never experienced challenge then you’re not going to be equipped with the emotional resilience and the confidence to tackle new tasks,” Genevieve says.

Anxious, much?

If you feel a panicky sensation in your stomach every time you think of something that could possibly go wrong, and that happens frequently, you may be suffering from clinical anxiety. The good news is that treatment is available, and getting professional help can not only make parenting more enjoyable, it can help prevent your kids falling into the anxiety spiral. Even if our anxiety isn’t at clinical level, so conditioned are we to telling our kids to “be careful” that it can be hard to stop, even when the risks are not that great. Observe yourself at the playground or when your kids are trying something new: you may find yourself hovering and issuing warnings more often than you realise. Leona says she feels judged by other parents when she lets her son Mitchell take physical risks on the playground, but she is adamant that kids need independence. “I let him make what I call safe mistakes, where I know it’s not going to cause him great harm, but I know he’s going to learn that probably wasn’t the best decision,” Leona says. “School is tough for kids, and if he can make decisions on his own when it comes to peer pressure and things like that, it will allow him to cope a lot better.” University of Southern Queensland Early Childhood lecturer Dr Louise Phillips tends to agree. Her research challenges our assumptions that children are incapable of engaging with social issues: “Through my research into children as citizens, my view is that children should be included in society and effectively treated the same (as adults) in many ways.

“…we need to arm ourselves with accurate information, good support, and focus instead on being sensibly optimistic.”

On the other hand…

The challenge for parents is that there are situations in which kids do need our protection. While news reports may focus on stranger kidnappings, the danger is more likely to lie closer to home. An estimated 85% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by family member, friend, or someone known to the family. Many children are abducted as a result of custody disputes. The state government’s Commission for Children and Young People found in 2008, Queensland had the highest rate of overall child death in the country. We recorded the highest rate of child drownings, with 18 children dying, most in backyard pools. Sadly, we also had the highest rate of youth suicide. And while Tasmania recorded more deaths in traffic accidents per head of population, Queensland’s rates were “comparable” with 52 children dying in cars. In 2001-05, 12 children were killed in “low speed run-overs” (often in the driveways of their own homes). Even watching too much TV can pose demonstrated risks to children’s physical and mental health. If you’re getting stressed just reading through all that, don’t feel too bad. It’s normal to worry! The problem is when we allow our worries to overshadow a sensible assessment of the situation. That includes allowing for individual kids’ differences: what one child can easily cope with at age 11, another may not be ready for until they’re 13, while yet another could easily have managed at 9. Let’s put it this way: how often do you consider not driving anywhere because you could have an accident? Most of us get behind the wheel each day, simply because we know that spending all our time worrying about risks would be paralysing. Similarly, when it comes to parenting, rather than allowing ourselves and our kids to collapse under the weight of all the possible negatives, we need to arm ourselves with accurate information, good support, and focus instead on being sensibly optimistic. As well as “helicopter parents” there are now “lawnmower parents” who step in and smooth out any obstacles in their child’s path to make their lives as easy as possible. If you think this could be you, ask yourself:

“By overprotecting children, they aren’t developing skills and a sense of themselves as being competent and capable and engaging in the social world,” Louise says.

• Do your kids take on some household jobs, without pay?

She adds that her personal philosophy is that life must involve some risk taking.

• Do they complete their homework and behave at school or cop the consequences?

Lenore Skenazy paints a grim picture of the excesses of our litigious, injury-averse world: schools that ban hula hoops from the playground (they could roll into someone), housing estates that ban children from playing outside, classic Sesame Street episodes from the 1970s re-released on DVD with a legal disclaimer warning. (They show kids playing follow the leader in a vacant lot, unsupervised. Seriously!) And she adds: “Kids deserve freedom, responsibility, and a chance to be part of this world, not cooped up like, well… chickens.”

Read more @ www.kidsonthecoa

st.com.au

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

• Do they pack their own lunch / hang up their clothes?

• Do they get involved with the community/help others less fortunate? “Protecting” children from these kinds of responsibilities, some experts say, is what’s doing the real damage. Taking healthy risks and experiencing adventures and failures is vital for kids as they grow older. This can come through not only being allowed some physical freedom, but taking on employment, community involvement, artistic projects and selfexpression of their own choice, and under their own steam. As you let go, gently, it may help to remember that we don’t own our kids; we just get to look after them for a while. Useful websites: freerangekids.wordpress.com www.danielmorcombe.com.au

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THE ‘P’ Files

when parenting-styles clash!

The great

divide: by Kim Lahey

It’s not the first time. And you have an inkling it won’t be the last. But glance sideways and you’ll find another mum or dad in the same territory. Because locking horns over parenting-styles tests even the strongest partnerships--often. Never more-so than when the heat is on (aka: challenging behaviour from kids). Battles aside for a moment: What’s seen as the pinnacle of parenting style? Research places all bets on the warm and supportive parent-child relationship, just as it links over-controlling methods with behavioural problems. Kids raised with an authoritative parental-style - where parents are responsive and reasonable, but also demand high standards - tend to be happy and confident, with highly developed social skills. Naturally, some parenting styles mesh well with particular kids – a gentle encouraging approach is seen as especially beneficial for shy reticent children, while a patient, assertive and firm (as well as warm and affectionate) approach works well for feisty, volatile kids. But at the heart of any parenting-style lies the kind of connection you have with your child and your partner. Beyond the household clutter - rules about bedtime, TV, food and manners – it’s the emotional climate of the house. And it’s a house where difference of opinion about raising a family is standard fare. Manager of Centacare’s marriage and relationship education unit in Melbourne, Denise Lacey, says style-differences are normal and can be worked out to make way for a happy relationship. “It’s about discussing values; what’s important to you as a mum and dad; what you want your child to say about you when they are 21.”

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

Born or made? Our parenting styles are sculpted by the family we grow-up in. “By 16 our values, behaviours, attitudes and beliefs are created,” Denise explains. So if we want to work differently, we need to make a conscious decision not to repeat some of these early-learned behaviours. If you came from a family that did a lot of yelling, you can make the decision to reject harshness. But when we’re under stress our first reaction is to yell, so we need to make a conscious decision not to repeat that, Denise says. “Whatever it is you want to change, you need to be aware you’ll revert back to (those behaviours set by 16) when under stress,” Denise says.

‘Pair’enting “Before kids we both felt we’d have the same ideas about rules and chores. But ten years on, I’ve definitely become the softie while he is more like a boss of the kids. It’s a rut, it causes fights - I think we’d both like to be back to the middle,” says mother-of-three, Julie. How couples connect as they make the transition to parenthood has a huge impact on their relationship, Denise says. And she sees this first-hand as manager of Centacare’s Bringing Baby Home program, which focuses on the relationship of the couple during the transition to parenthood. “Couples co-parent better when they have done two things - maintained and continued to build their relationship and learned to manage conflict,” she says. This leads to better outcomes for the couple and for the baby, plus a much

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THE ‘P’ Files higher rate of father/baby connection. “Building their friendship means they talk on a day to day basis about what they did that day, likes and dislikes, what sort of things they are afraid of, their inner world,” Denise says. Early on, it’s usually the mum who looks after the baby, and sharing the progress of the baby builds the relationship – especially in the first six to eight weeks, Denise explains. “Sharing gives permission for the guys to know more, even about things like pooey nappies because the neighbour won’t want to know, but he will!” she says. “Not holding back information means there is not one person with more power and control, so you both know what’s going on,” Denise says. The Raising children network says backing each other up really eases the stress of managing children’s behaviour. And agreeing with each other (or agreeing and discussing it later) in front of children makes disciplining easier because they thrive when they see consistent rules. If one parent is softer or some rules only apply with one parent; they learn, pronto!

Tips for solving problems together * • We can raise a problem for discussion with each other at any time • Either of us can say ‘no’ if we don’t want to talk now, but will make another time (no more than a day later) • If the discussion is getting heated, either of us can call for a break to calm down • Problems will be raised at a good time and place. (Kids not in earshot, there are no competing demands like mealtime or phone calls, and we are both calm) • We will try to listen so we understand what the other person is saying • We will not raise conflict topics in front of other people • If one of us has a problem, we both have a problem

You know your rules are working when: • • • •

you can solve problems effectively both partners feel like they are working as a team the conflict does not cause lasting negative feelings like anger and resentment after the conflict, you’re able to reconnect and spend positive time together

*Source - Raising Children network (Adapted from Brief Therapy for Couples: Helping Partners Help Themselves).

The network advises parents to agree on rules, rewards, and consequences in advance, then ‘check in’ with each other to see if a problem is already dealt with, to avoid contradicting each other. And simple emotional support can make a big difference – like just being there without being distracted. Parents are encouraged to share the good things about parenting as well as problems.

Two-roof repair

It’s also about the baby not being the most important part of your life, Denise says, quoting Dr John Gottman (renowned marriage and parenting researcher and creator of the Bringing Baby Home program) “The best gift you can give your child is a strong relationship between the two of you”.

Family Relationship Centre senior advisor and child consultant, Kerrie Anderson, says if parents have similar routines; that’s great, but if they are different, children manage well.

Cool change How conflict is resolved matters. Denise’s key advice about handling parental clashes is not to fall back into negative behaviour. “You have to, one, recognise the behaviour, then two, make a decision to do things differently,” Denise says. You can choose to do things differently, like how you raise an issue. "You can raise an issue harshly (say by yelling 'you always leave the towels on the floor') or softly (by saying 'please hang the towels up because if they are left on the floor they won't dry'), Denise explains. The key difference between the 'harsh start-up' and the 'soft start-up' is that the soft start-up does not include blame. "Complain but don't blame," Denise says. If you feel things are getting out of hand, you need to agree to time out, to come back to it. Repair work can include adding humour, going for a walk or looking at other ways to move on, Denise suggests. Centacare’s group studies and research shows there is no difference in the level of conflict between successful and unsuccessful couples - the key finding is that the successful couples have a positive attitude to it and know it won’t undo their relationship. It’s about the way the conflict is managed – successful couples tend to have a feeling they will get through it, Denise explains. “So if you are tired and cranky you can handle it, because you are thinking, ‘this is tough, but we can get through it’,” Denise says. “But if you are thinking ‘it’s all his fault’, this is a danger sign,” she says. The four danger signs are criticism, contempt, stonewalling, defensiveness and “if one or all of them are played out a lot in a relationship, it can destroy it,” Denise says.

Differing post-separation parenting-style and values might attract comparisons from the kids, like, “Mum would say I could” or “Dad’s place is more fun.” But this difference is not the key problem.

“Life-styles are so different and kids understand this – it’s just like when they go to Nanna’s and she has her rules,” says Kerrie, who runs Family Relationship Centre’s child-inclusive mediation program. What children really struggle with is long-term conflict between parents, she says. “The research tells us this is the damaging aspect. But it also tells us kids are very resilient,” Kerrie explains. And research also shows the intrinsic concern parents have for their children can reign, in the end. If parents can make a psychological shift and let go of issues in the past, it is amazing what can be achieved, Kerrie says. “We have parents who’ve not seen each other face-to-face for years, and after mediation, they are smiling and joking and showing each other photos of the kids,” she says. The most outstanding advice Kerrie could give to parents, is to seek help. “It’s difficult enough parenting anyway, parents often do have different parenting styles, and mediation can raise parents’ capacity to communicate,” Kerrie says. Mediation is more than facilitated conversation, it’s a life-skill tool, Kerrie explains. “It’s future-focused, helping parents see past their differences to let go of the past, and helps them work with conflict.” And it works! Kerrie is seeing more parents coming in asking for help and wanting to be positive and work well as parents despite their differences. “We say to parents, ‘If you really want to put the kids first, remember how you felt when you had that newborn in your arms’,” Kerrie says. We help them get back to that goal after their crisis; we normalize it a lot and parents then soften, she explains. After all, “kids just want peace,” she says. “They just want to be free to love both mum and dad.”

But those who feel like it’s tough, but still feel like they are doing it together, succeed. Parents from one of Denise’s groups, who’ve been married over 10 years, and have just had their first baby, are finding it hard-going, particularly the sleepdeprivation. But “He works shift work then comes home and takes over with the baby so she can have a nap,” Denise says.

For more information: www.familyrelationships.gov.au – information about family relationship issues, ranging from building better relationships to dispute resolution. It includes useful tips for handling conflict. Family Relationship Advice Line. 1800 050 321 8am–8pm Monday to Friday. 10am–4pm Saturday (except national public holidays)

“They didn’t see themselves as doing well, but they were and that’s the key thing, people need positives,” Denise says.

www.raisingchildren.net.au - Raising Children Network provides a relationship toolkit including tips on teamwork, handling conflict and backing each other up.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

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What’s on CalendaR June 4-13

June 6

QUEENSLAND WEEK Where: Various locations When: Check website for details. In 2011, Queensland Week will be dedicated to recognising the community heroes of the 2010-11 Queensland Floods and Tropical Cyclone Yasi. Take a step back in time and retrace Queensland’s history, as well as a range of other activities. Cost: Costs may apply Details: www.premiers.qld.gov.au

June 5

United Nations World Environment Day www.unep.org

June 4, 11 and 18

RIOT ART AND CRAFT WORKSHOPS Where: Pacific Fair Shopping Centre, Hooker Boulevard, Broadbeach When: 11am-2pm The team at Riot Art and Craft invite you to join them for FREE workshops. Activities include modelling, felt board/black board art and mask making. Unleash your inner Picasso with these great workshops! Cost: Free Details: www.pacificfair.com.au

June and July

MY GRANDMA LIVES IN GOOLIGULCH Where: The Arts Centre Gold Coast, 135 Bundall Rd, Surfers Paradise When: 10am and 11.45am Grandma lived in Gooligulch, Near Bandywallop East. Based on the much-loved book of the same name. A unique Australian show with a worthy moral to boot…be sure to give it a go! Cost: $20 Adult $15 Child Details: www.theartscentregc.com.au

18 June 12

June 18

Where: The Arts Centre Gold Coast, 135 Bundall Rd, Surfers Paradise When: 9am-1pm The Butterfly Tree is a unique boutique market for families with children aged from newborn to teen years. It offers an impressive collection of specially selected vendors with stunning handcrafted pieces including clothing, toys, bedding, decorator items and accessories. Cost: Free entry Details: www.thebutterflytree.com.au

Where: Broadwater Parklands, Southport When: From 10am-3pm Walk for Wildlife is Wildcare Australia’s inspiring idea to raise public awareness of Australia’s unique wildlife and its diverse habitat requirements and to fund its work for wildlife. Join an amazing day walking to raise funds for Australia’s unique wildlife. Cost: $20 Adults $15 Child $50 Family Details: www.walkforwildlife.com.au

Where: The Arts Centre Gold Coast, 135 Bundall Rd, Surfers Paradise When: 1.30pm and 6.30pm The kind-hearted Little Mermaid rescues a Prince during a storm at sea, and so begins a journey that takes her far from her home beneath the waves. Cost: Adult $59 Child $30 Family (2 adults 2 children) $40 Details: www.queenslandballet.com.au. www.theartscentregc.com.au

WALK FOR WILDLIFE

Where: Jacobs Ridge Parklands, Pincally Crescent, Jacobs Ridge When: 10am Join in this fun and energetic family-based activity program. Laugh and enjoy an extensive range of unique games including soft rockets, scoop ball, parachute, noodle hockey, soccer, vortex, water soakers and balls of all shapes and sizes! Cost: Free Details: Bookings required 0431 323 076 www.gcparks.com.au

June 11

June 12

Where: Paradise Point Parklands, The Esplanade, Paradise Point When: 10am A fun and energetic multi-cultural games program, discover cultural games from around the world including Africa, Polynesia, Egypt, Germany, Sweden, England, Japan and Australia. Cost: Free Details: Bookings required. Life Be In It Fun Works 0403 221 676 or 3823 3553 www.gcparks.com.au

Where: Departing from South Brisbane Station When: 10.10am, 11.40am and 1.10pm Departing from Roma Street station or South Brisbane station, a magnificently restored Queensland Rail steam train will take passengers on a one hour round journey through Brisbane’s suburbs, passing landmarks and river crossings. Cost: $19 Adults $11 Children under 15 $57 Family (2 adults 2 children) Details: www.theworkshops.qm.qld.gov.au

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Where: Masthead way, Sanctuary Cove When: 10am-2pm Chic-inspired, unique gorgeous boutique and designer products and services for the family, as well as children’s entertainment, food, coffee, easy parking and more! Cost: Free entry Details: www.themummytreemarkets.com.au

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ount. happiness are param ucts to that health and prod In life, I believe rlea, a range of gifts , I created Natu ve that nature’s With this in mind e your soul. I belie sooth daily life. of and areas lift your spirit ted into all d and incorpora our should be share s are sourced for dient ingre ral of pure ty natu The highest quali being a good dose other addition products, the only sophy, positive energy! the Naturlea philo you is to maintain you, to the environment My promise to to ent to you ideration is given where full cons als. My commitm ction of our anim and exceptional customer and to the prote ucts ty, natural prod is to deliver quali time. it comes service – every when decisions Naturlea to make conscious I encourage you eciate that in using s and for you choose. I appr eing in our hand to the products placing your wellb are you ucts prod you. k than I this rlea. Welcome to Natu

MAD SPORTS

Where: Gold Coast Libraries When: Check Library website for all locations, dates and times. Bring your inner superhero to life by creating your own unique costume, including mask, cape and wristbands and a talented cartoonist will teach you how to create and draw your own superhero adventures! Cost: All sessions are Free Details: Please call the hosting branch library to book. www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library

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June 6

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June 12

BUTTERFLY TREE MARKETS

JUNe

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www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

JULY

June/July School Holidays

ECO RANGERS VACATION CARE

Where: Currumbin Sanctuary, 28 Tomewin Street, Currumbin When: Check website for full dates and times Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary offers the ultimate Eco Ranger experience for kids to interact with the Sanctuary’s wildlife for a fun and educational day of hands-on activities. Eco Rangers also get to explore Wild Island education. Cost: $49 Single Child $44 for additional children Details: www.cws.org.au

June 19

ZERO 2 FIVE MARKETS

Where: Upper Coomera State College, Reserve Road, Upper Coomera When: 9am-12pm The Ultimate Market for your children’s needs. At Zero 2 Five Markets you can buy or sell quality pre-loved and new products such as clothing, toys, books, prams, car seats and nursery furniture all at amazing prices. Cost: $3 per adult, children Free Details: www.zero2five.com.au

We publish information based on what is supplied to us - to the best of our knowledge all details were correct at time of printing, however we do recommend you check event details with the organisers.

June 19

CHILDRENS HEALTH AND WELL BEING EXPO

June 22

Where: Varsity Lakes Sports and Arts Centre, Central Park Drive, Varsity Lakes When: 10am-3pm Learn how your family can lead an active and healthy lifestyle. The expo features a variety of information including exhibitors and documentaries, guest speakers, activities for children, entertainment, and much more. Cost: Entry fee’s may apply Details: www.CHWExpo.com.au

Where: Fig Tree Food Court, Australia Fair Shopping Centre When: From 9am Need a bit of time away from the household? Come and join other mums for a cuppa, drop ‘n’ shop activity centre and craft workshop for the kids at the next Mumz with Bubz morning tea. Cost: Free Details: www.australiafair.com.au

MUMZ WITH BUBZ

June 24

June 28

June 30-July 3

July 7

Where: All around Australia When: All day Red Nose Day, held annually on the last Friday in June, is the major fundraiser for SIDS and Kids. Funds raised through Red Nose Day activities assist SIDS and Kids in providing vital services and programs to the Australian Community. Red Nose day products can be purchased online to conduct your own fundraising event. Details: www.rednoseday.com.au

Where: The Arts Centre Gold Coast, 135 Bundall Rd, Surfers Paradise When: 10am For the first time, the three Cartoon Network series’ Ben 10, Ben 10 Alien Force and Ben 10 Ultimate Alien are all featured in one live theatre event. Ben 10 Live: Time Machine stars Ben, his cousin Gwen and Grandpa Max. Joined by some of Ben’s alien superheros, loveto-hate faves Vilgax and the DNAliens‘. Cost: $26.90 Details: www.theartscentregc.com.au

Where: Brisbane Entertainment Centre When: Check website for session times For the first time ever, you will thrill to highspeed stunts as Lightning McQueen, Mater and the crew of Disney/Pixar’s Cars race across the ice. See The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Tinker Bell and the Disney Fairies. Cost: From $28.50 Details: www.disneyonice.com.au Bookings www.ticketek.com.au/disneyonice

Where: Runaway Bay Library, Lae Drive, Runaway Bay When: From 4pm to 5pm Come along to the Runaway Bay Library’s newest adventure for juniors aged 6 to 12 years. Stardust Junior Astronomy Club – To the Moon & Back ‘Our Amazing Moon’. Cost: Free Details: For bookings phone 07 5581 7220. Or more information phone: 0407 126 452 www.sas.org.au

July 12

July 14

July 22

July 23 and 24

Where: Albert Water Ways Community Centre, Cnr Hooker and Sunshine Blvds, Mermaid Waters He’s a popular presenter on ABC TV’s Play School…now come and see Jay perform his own music, live in concert. 45 minutes of interactive fun. Cost: $14.50 Details: Bookings essential www.kidspromotions.com.au 1300 788 028

Where: The Arts Centre Gold Coast, 135 Bundall Rd, Surfers Paradise When: 8pm Dance and music making this good are rare. Exploring exciting musical territory, Pena’s new production reveals amazing musical links between Latin, Africa and Spain. Featuring three Flamenco dancers and eight virtuoso musicians and singers. Cost: From $84.90 Details: www.theartscentregc.com.au

Where: Ashmore PCYC, Dominions Rd, Ashmore When: 9am-5pm Miniature Train Club Gold Coast are conducting their second annual model railway exhibition. The event will feature over 15 operational model railway layouts and a number of model railway related shops and manufacturers. Fun for all the family! Snacks and drinks available. Cost: $5 Adults $3 Children Details: www.mtcgc.org.au

BEN 10 LIVE: TIME MACHINE

RED NOSE DAY

DRAX 4 KIDS SCHOOL HOLIDAY SHOW

A calendar of regular weekly events is available online. For details of playgroups, library activities, weekly sporting events, craft classes, Australian Breastfeeding Association meeting times and much more, visit www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

Where: Dracula’s, 1 Hooker Blvd, Broadbeach When: 12 noon SSSHHHhhh…The best kept secret in town! Drax 4 Kids, has become the hottest ticket in town - a fast paced interactive stage production that offers the young audience a first time “full theatre experience”. Don’t miss the special school holiday show! Cost: Costs apply Details: www.draculas.com.au

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JUNE / JULY 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

Education Queensland

education

KIDS MIDDLE IN THE

by Justine Stewart

Just as it can be hard to adjust your parenting style as kids get older, schools and teachers are now discovering a one-size-fits-all teaching method hasn’t worked for kids in the “middle years”, or roughly Grades 5 to 9. In fact, it’s now established that early adolescence mirrors early childhood in its complexity and importance to educational success.

What is ‘middle schooling’ all about, and could your child benefit from this approach?

[It’s worth noting here that within a few years, Queensland primary schooling will end at Year 6. The exact date is uncertain at this stage because of changes to budgets caused by this year’s natural disasters.] About twenty years ago, Australian education researchers identified some particular problems common to the young adolescent age bracket, says Susan Hearfield, Executive Officer of the Middle Years Schooling Association (MYSA):

Early adolescent students are in “no man’s land” — the upper end of primary school (currently Year 6 and 7) and the lower end of secondary school (Years 8 and 9).

“One of the concerns was absenteeism for students aged 12, 13, and 14. Another thing they found was that, through primary school, the graphs of the kids’ engagement and performance would go up, up, up, then plateau out at the end of primary school, and in the first year of high school there’d be a real dip.”

In both cases, kids are stuck in systems that were designed for those at the other end of the spectrum. They’re getting too old for the structure and educational approach of a primary school, but throw them into a traditional high school environment and they often flounder because they lack the skills and maturity to cope.

International research was also pointing to the same kinds of problems with the kids in the “middle school” years, i.e. aged around 10-15.The slump in literacy and numeracy levels was found to be even more pronounced in boys than girls, and although many students found their feet and went on to successfully complete high school, others did not.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

Curriculum – what’s being studied And the problems were more than just school-related. According to the Australian Secondary Principals’ Association: “Students who fail to prosper in the middle years… sometimes develop strong anti-social attitudes”.

To keep students interested, motivated, and able to achieve their best results, a middle school curriculum should be relevant, engaging, and challenging. Uh-oh, more edu-speak buzzwords. But they do make sense once they’re explained further.

As a result, educators started looking at ways to engage these students and overcome some of the problems they were having.

Relevant: Because kids in this age group are developing their sense of autonomy, they need to feel like what they’re learning has some connection to their life. No longer content to just absorb information for the sake of it, they’re increasingly looking for real life examples and connections between the classroom and outside world.

Although research is still continuing, the most effective approaches to teaching this age group have now been brought together and are known as middle schooling. As Ms Hearfield points out, this doesn’t mean necessarily creating a separate set of buildings and calling it a middle school; it means that whatever school you’re in, you adopt the kinds of methods and ideas that have been identified as being the best way to keep kids in this age group interested and on-target with their learning.

Why do the middle school years need a different approach? Kids in this age group are undergoing so many changes at once, and their rate of development varies widely from one individual to another: • As well as the fairly obvious physical changes brought on by the onset of puberty, there are all the accompanying major emotional upheavals. • Society has changed, too, so young adolescents are under new and different pressures as they form their own identity, values, evaluate friendships and relationships, and develop a sense of independence. • And from a purely cognitive point of view, their brains and intellectual processes are also rapidly changing. Although teenagers are often stereotypically portrayed as lazy and self-centred, it’s actually in early adolescence that kids become more interested in how they fit into the world around them, developing their ability to think in abstract terms about things like politics and social issues. Phew! If it’s exhausting reading about it, spare a thought for the teachers who are expected to take these hormonally-charged mixed-up children-in-transition and turn them into interested, motivated students!

What does good “middle schooling” look like? In some ways, studying what works in the middle school years has simply confirmed what good teachers had already instinctively figured out. “A lot of the things that we now promote with middle schooling were things that…I knew worked, but I didn’t know why,” says Ms Hearfield. “Now we know the practices that are most effective,” she says. “You can’t continue to teach the way you always have,” she adds. “Kids are different, and they’re a lot more global, and socially aware; the world, the Internet, is their encyclopaedia. So you do want teachers who are interested in all the latest methods.” According to the experts, ideal middle schooling involves a unique and targetted approach to: • Curriculum (what’s being studied) • Pedagogy (teaching methods) • Organisation (the structure of the school and classroom) • Environment (social and developmental support) The more you look into it, the more you realise these things can’t really be neatly separated, as they’re all intertwined. Bear in mind, too, that this stuff hasn’t just been plucked from thin air; it’s backed up by numerous studies and reports of actual schools and students. (Google “middle school” if you’re interested in reading some of them.) Okay, but enough of the educational jargon – what does that mean in real terms for your child? Well, to break it down further: www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

Engaging: It’s easy to feel bored and disconnected at school if you’re old enough to watch the news, but teachers stand and deliver lectures about algebra or 19th century history and you’re supposed to sit down, be quiet, and rote learn. However, when you’re actively involved in selecting and investigating the answers to a topic that interests you (“how can I use algebra to figure out the number of Lego bricks I need to make various constructions?” or “how are today’s political protests like those of the 19th century”?) it’s a whole different ballgame. That’s not to say direct instruction has no place in middle schooling, it’s just acknowledging that it must be tailored to what students need, rather than what teachers find easiest. Challenging: Contrary to what some parents and teachers may have thought, research has identified that students don’t simply want to ditch school and head for the local milk bar. What they need is the chance to develop their skills and expertise in a way that gives them realistic challenges, has high expectations, and provides constructive and honest feedback. For example, as well as understanding the subject and being able to show that they’ve learned new information by, say, passing a test, they want the chance to develop their skills further – for example, by creating a professional-looking website that helps others learn about the topic.

Pedagogy – teaching and learning methods Young adolescents flourish in a middle school environment where rights and responsibilities are both heavily emphasised. “Kids are active participants – they’re given empowerment,” says Ms Hearfield. But this doesn’t mean they spend the day making paper planes. “They take more ownership of their own learning, and they’re taught how to do that,” she explains. A democratic classroom environment, where kids and teachers interact with mutual respect, means teaching is not just “sit there and I will tell you”. Rather it’s about teachers saying: “okay, how can I get you involved in learning about this?”, and “let’s make a plan of how you’re going to learn it and then I can help you achieve that”. It may mean more work initially, while teachers adjust, but the end result is worth it, says Ms Hearfield: “[Teachers] say [once they’ve made these kinds of changes] it’s so much easier because they’ve got the kids engaged, they’ve built those relationships, they don’t have the behavioural issues,” she says. Middle school kids need special attention given to helping them develop their ability to express themselves clearly in written and spoken language. This allows them to understand, and be able to use, what they read and hear. If this is done properly, literature and new information can help kids make sense of all the changes they’re going through, and changes in the world around them. Young adolescents are also starting to work out connections and higher level thinking strategies. If subjects like science, geography and maths are all taught at completely separate times and places, in an over-specialised way, it just seems like “random information” to them. By contrast, good middle schooling integrates subject areas and often uses “team teaching”, so kids can see the general connection between, say, plant biology, the crops grown in Asia, and the mathematics involved in basic economics. JUNE / JULY 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

education

st.com.au

Read more @ www.kidsonthecoa

Organisation – structure and day-to-day life One of the most obvious differences between middle schooling and a traditional high school, (lockers, home rooms, and six different teachers and subjects in one day), is the emphasis on community and connection. “Students should be able to form a long-term relationship with a teacher who takes them for a large part of the school day,” according to the Australian Secondary Principals’ Association (ASPA). In fact, the ASPA’s Middle Schooling Policy states that productive teacher-student relationships are just as critical in the middle years as they are in early childhood. “And that flies in the face of the old secondary structure of seeing 150 kids over the week, seeing them for 45 minutes three or four times a week,” explains Ms Hearfield. “You can’t get to know them as learners, or as people [in that system],” she adds.

Environment – caring, safe, and supportive Because of what’s happening developmentally, kids in this age bracket have a strong need to feel safe, secure, and part of a team – metaphorically as well as physically.

Throughout history, young adolescence has been a time when adults help guide children to become productive members of society. Over the last few decades, schools have tended to step back from what’s perceived as ‘moral instruction’, but there is now research to show that actively teaching ethics and values, (as well as supporting kids who are under stress or feeling isolated), helps foster the sense of belonging that is vitally important to this age group.

Australia leads the way So if all of this sounds like a good idea to keep your kids on track in the middle years, how do you know whether it’s happening at your local school?

Education Queensland

“Kids need to build relationships and have that pastoral care, or concern for the welfare of the whole child, caring for the student as a person, not “they’re coming here to learn I’m only worried about their academic development”,” says Ms Hearfield.

“…productive teacher-student relationships are just as critical in the middle years as they are in early childhood.”

“I wouldn’t say the majority of schools are doing it. Parents need to ask questions and see whether [the school] is providing learning environments that are responsive to young adolescents’ needs,” says Ms Hearfield. Parents can contact the school or P&C Association (P&F in the Catholic system) as a good starting point, or contact the Middle Years Schooling Association directly to find out more about a particular school’s approach. “The ones that are members of our association, I know a reasonable amount about them,” says Ms Hearfield. “[Having said that], the school down the road mightn’t be a member of our association but they might be offering brilliant learning experiences,” she clarifies. Australia is part of an international movement (along with countries such as China, Italy, the US, and UK) who are developing a strong middle schooling culture. In fact, a major international conference on middle schooling has just been held here on the Gold Coast, highlighting Australia’s role in the area of ongoing research and development. “A couple of years ago at a middle schooling conference in Perth, I asked one of the top American experts to recommend a US speaker for an upcoming event,” says Ms Hearfield. “He said to me: ‘Why would you be doing that when you’ve got so many wonderful things happening here – you’re way ahead of us!’” For more information: Middle Years Schooling Association.Contact: (07) 3720 8711. Visit: www.mysa.org.au Education Queensland. Visit: www.education.qld.gov.au. (search for “middle phase of learning”)

Education Queensland

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

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JUNE / JULY 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

BABIES ON

the coast

Taste buds in

overdrive An excuse for indulgence? by Maxine Arthur

Intense food cravings can derail the best dietary intentions and, as many women know, they can be particularly strong during pregnancy. We are not talking real hunger here but the ‘I need a packet of Tim Tams now or no-one is safe’ kind of craving. A longing so powerful that even ‘film star whippet thin two weeks after giving birth’ photos won’t stop you from indulging. We all know that chips, pizza, biscuits and chocolate contain empty calories. We know that once we get our hands on that block of chocolate we won’t stop at two squares. Choose a healthy snack? Chocolate’s choosing me! Eat in moderation? You’re kidding!

on a steady diet of hot chips and gravy in a sandwich, topped with ‘plastic cheese’ along with ‘anything chocolate and lots of milk’. “I couldn’t get enough of eggs and lamb. I didn’t eat either before my pregnancy,” Tamara said.

I can’t get it out of my head

Brenda remembered cooking hot chips every day for lunch and smothering them in tomato sauce. “They couldn’t be bought chips. I had to make them myself from fresh potatoes. I went from a size 10 to a 16,” Brenda laughed. With her second pregnancy the chips were replaced by a craving for big bacon and egg burgers from the local milk bar, accompanied by caramel malted milkshakes. “I also had to have avocadoes which I hadn’t eaten before.” Brenda’s daughter Amanda, pregnant with her first child, couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with chicken, let alone eat it.

Food cravings of the mid-afternoon munchies variety can hit at any time but for many women the most intense and bizarre cravings are associated with pregnancy. Studies have shown that more than 60% of women report food cravings during pregnancy. The most popular cravings include sweet, salty, spicy or fatty foods. Chocolate tops the list – no surprises there – with milk, ice-cream, fruit, hot chips, pickles, doughnuts, biscuits, pizza and cheese making the Constant Cravings top ten. Local mum, Marsha, gave birth to her first child, Coco, last December. In the first trimester Marsha craved nutritious food. “I felt that I needed lots of fresh vegetables to give me energy as I was feeling quite lethargic. Later on I developed a really strong craving for carrot cake.” Marsha indulged her carrot cake fixation but kept it to an every other day treat. Just as well she was living in New York at the time where a 2am delivery of carrot cake was readily available! A round- table discussion with a group of Queensland women proved several things. Mums of all ages can remember exactly what their cravings or aversions were down to the last detail. Each woman’s food cravings were different and ranged from the healthy to the not-so-healthy. Cravings varied from one pregnancy to the next and included foods not eaten before or since. Most obviously, these were not merely food choices. More available or more sensible substitutes would not do. These foods were ‘had to haves’, just the way I like it, as soon as possible. Jules developed a passion for Cherry Ripes but they had to be melted in the sun. Cream matches (pastries with a filling of jam and cream) were irresistible. Carly ate roast pumpkin every day and golden syrup crumpets every morning. Tamara went

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

How can the craving for, or aversion to, a particular food be so overwhelming that common sense and willpower desert us?

Is my body trying to tell me something? Cravings often start round the end of the first trimester, once morning sickness fades. They are occasionally linked to nutritional deficiency – a vegetarian may crave red meat because she is lacking in protein or iron. An overpowering need for milk and cheese may be satisfying the body’s need for more calcium. Very rarely a woman may crave non-food items such as chalk, gravel, dirt, toothpaste, cleaning products and other unusual substances - a condition known as ‘pica’. This may indicate a need for iron or zinc supplements. Don’t indulge extreme, possibly dangerous, cravings – talk to your doctor. Unfortunately, it’s hard to argue a case for vanilla slices and soft drinks as nutritious foods. Most of us aren’t reaching for broccoli or high-quality protein to fill a pregnancy craving, are we? What we crave and what our bodies need may be entirely different things. Recent research indicates that a complex combination of hormonal changes, emotional factors and fluctuations in blood sugar levels drive intense food cravings.

www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

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GOLD COAST Sanctuary Cove (off Masthead Way) Weekend of June 18 and 19, 10am - 2pm TOOWOOMBA Downlands College (Ruthven St) Sunday July 31, 9am - 3pm JUNE / JULY 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

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BABIES ON

the coast

Hormonal havoc Obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr James Moir explained how hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy may affect food choices.“In early pregnancy HCG levels (human chorionic gonadotropin) produced by the placenta rise quickly, stimulating the ovaries to produce higher levels of oestrogen and progesterone. By the ninth or tenth week the placenta is self-sustaining and HCG levels drop.” High hormone levels can alter a woman’s sense of smell and taste dramatically but Dr Moir hears more about the flip-side of cravings – the food aversions brought on by nausea. Foods that were once enjoyable turn into foods a woman can’t stand the smell, taste, texture or even the sight of for several months. Dr Moir recalled one lady who was so overcome with nausea that she survived on a diet of water and macadamia nuts for the first trimester. In addition to the hormonal rollercoaster, Dr Moir suggested another reason for powerful food cravings at odd times. “Basal sugar levels in pregnancy are lower on average so between meals and at night, sugar cravings might hit. If cravings for a particular food are strong, have a small amount but be aware that a diet high in sugar may cause problems, particularly for women with diabetic tendencies.”

Healthier alternatives Ice cream – non-fat frozen yogurt, sorbet or sherbet Soft drinks – mineral water or tap water with fruit juice or lime Pastries/doughnuts – whole-grain muffin with no added sugar jam Cake – low-fat banana bread Pizza takeaway – try a homemade pizza on flatbread using lots of vegetables Potato chips – popcorn Chocolate – chocolate flavoured milkshake made with low-fat milk

Craving comfort through food Dietician Sally-Anne Livock believes that some cravings may be psychological. Beliefs about food and our emotional associations with food can stimulate cravings. “Certain foods may be associated with certain situations, for example, buying takeaways on a Friday night, eating popcorn at the movies, snacking while watching television or having a glass of wine every evening.” These associations become habitual. You start to associate certain emotions with certain foods such as chicken soup when you are sick, cake and coffee to cheer yourself up, chocolate at the end of the day as a reward, Sally-Anne says. So if you believe that ‘eating ice cream at night is the norm for pregnant women, or even that this is what made your mother feel great when she was pregnant’ you may need a hug more than the ice cream. Pregnancy is a time of major changes to your body, your lifestyle and your relationships. Stress, depression and boredom can lead to comfort eating. Of course there is nothing wrong with seeking comfort and if a little ice cream lifts your mood, choose good quality ice cream and savour every mouthful.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

Controlling cravings • Enjoy a little of what you crave occasionally without guilt • Learn to distinguish between hunger and emotional eating • Treat yourself with something other than food • Take some regular exercise “Most cravings are not harmful and as long as the mother is still following a balanced diet and meeting all her nutritional requirements there is no harm at all in a little indulgence - just don’t let it get out of hand. The old ‘I’m now eating for two’ is a total misconception. You really only need around 200 calories extra per day in the second trimester and around 300calories extra in the third trimester-easily achieved by increasing a dairy serve per day to meet increased calcium needs,” Sally-Anne says.

The sugar trap Low blood sugar can cause major food cravings. Trying to follow a very low calorie diet and going for long periods without food can serve to intensify cravings. Sally-Anne advises against following a restrictive eating plan whether pregnant or not. “Eliminating or reducing food groups often leads to cravings and the foods craved are usually far less nutritious than those restricted. Limiting your intake of carbohydrates will usually lead to sweet cravings. The chocolate or confectionery you crave are a far less healthy choice and higher in calories than the carbohydrates would have been.” Missing meals, especially breakfast, will only fuel the sugar cravings. “The energy supplied by a meal or snack is usually utilised in 1-2 hours. Having long breaks in between meals and snacks can lead to food cravings for something sweet to help top up the blood sugar levels. Aim for a light meal or snack every three hours. Low fat dairy foods, fresh fruits and raw nuts are great snack options,” Sally-Anne suggests. Tempting as it may be to justify over-indulgence as part and parcel of pregnancy, a sensible approach (well, most of the time) is best for mum and baby. Further reading: How To Reduce Food Cravings By Anne Collins. Visit: www.annecollins.com/weight-loss/food-cravings.htm www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

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PARENT

ville

by Aleney de Winter

Rock the Baby This week in parentville I attempted some toddler training. And by toddler training I mean training my son to behave more like a toddler and less like a degenerate rocker. Even while still snuggled in the womb it was obvious that, though our son would love the nightlife, he certainly wouldn’t love to boogie. The banshee sound of a Bee Gee’s falsetto was enough to result in a distressed frenzy in utero, so much so that we have suspicions that his early arrival was in no small part due to panic induced by back to back Bee Gee’s at a wedding we attended the night before. And yet, at the same time we realised that our already bizarre unborn boy would fall into a contented sleep whenever ‘Wild Thing’ was played. Clearly this was a child that was born to rock and the easiest way to settle my newborn rocker was for his mummy to softly sing him to slumber reassuring the tiny little wild thing that he really did make her heart sing and really did make everything groovy, quite. My tiny music man embraced every imaginable incarnation of rock’n’roll. Traditional lullabies drove him crazy, but Bernard Fanning could calm him immediately. There was a brief foray into Brit pop, as he banged the drum to the Stone Roses before a naturally occurring fauxhawk serendipitously coincided with a love of punk classics that saw him dodging Spanish bombs with The Clash and creating anarchy with The Sex Pistols. While the Wiggles left him cold, Jimmy Hendrix and the Doors lit his fire. There was a brief ‘Bob’ phase when he mellowed out with Mssrs. Marley and Dylan until Raging Against the Machine and couch-diving to Them Crooked Vultures became his raison d’etre. And while he knows and loves singing along to many a children’s nursery rhyme, when it comes to listening it’s a whole different story. Concerned that he might be missing out on some important toddler rite-of-passage that would impair his development I have dutifully spent the last few weeks revisiting music for minors to see if I could convince my mini madman that it was where things were at for hip and happening toddlers.

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My attempts were met with a huffy “No mummy, turn that yuck off just right now!” And so, always one to do as I’m told, I did just that. I have accepted defeat and instead of a houseful of kiddie’s tunes have had The Jam song, A Town Called Malice on repeat for several hours at the behest of our small but insistent in-house DJ, as he dances wildly about. And while Mummy certainly prefers his musical choices to songs about mashed potatoes – it would be nice if my obsessive boy rocker would, just once, listen to a whole album! www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

health

good

by Cassi Cowlam Naturopath at The Medical Sanctuary, Benowa

Allergy or intolerance? A natural health perspective The past 50 years has seen a significant increase in the prevalence of immune disorders such as allergic asthma, hay fever, sinusitis, bronchitis and atopic dermatitis. There are many things in our environment which can cause an allergic reaction, including dust mites, pollen and grasses. As a practitioner of natural medicine, I am seeing more and more that a common culprit is diet-related, and this can really affect your child’s short-term and long-term health. In some cases this is not due to an allergy but an intolerance. A food allergy is an “immunological” reaction to a food, a disease that follows an immune system response to what should be a harmless antigen. Reactions include asthma, eczema or hay fever. Reactions are quick, usually within 30 minutes and only the tiniest amount needs to be eaten. A food intolerance is a “pharmacological” reaction to a chemical in the food (similar to a side effect of a drug). Reactions may include migraines, behavioural problems or irritable bowel symptoms. Reactions are slower, up to 48 hours after eating the food, and are dose-related, so you can eat a little bit and be symptom free, but eat too much and “wham”.

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Because babies and young children’s immune systems are underdeveloped, they can be prone to allergies, and children can be more vulnerable to intolerances due to having a higher dose of food stuffs/chemicals than they can cope with for their weight. When assessing a child’s immune system, it is essential to take into account their gut function, as this is their “first line of defense” against the world. It has been reported that allergic infants have less beneficial bacteria in their gut, which reduces their ability to ward off an infection or virus . When conducting an allergy natural health check, besides looking at signs and symptoms and checking diet and lifestyle, it is important to ascertain the health of the gut. One of the tools to do this is live blood analysis, using a darkfield microscope and a pin prick of blood which is viewed immediately in the clinic, giving an assessment of possible nutritional deficiencies, immunological disorders and gut health. This simple test can be conducted on anyone at any age. Looking at the blood, there are certain signs that indicate potential issues, such as liver stress or inflammation. It can also tell us if the white blood cells (immune system) are over activated or compromised. Nutritional deficiencies such as iron, Vitamin B12, folate, magnesium and essential fatty acids can also be evident. Blood tests can also be performed where the blood is actually checked against all the different allergens to see if antigens form. An elimination diet is also an effective (and cheaper) way of checking, but it does involve determination and commitment. There are many different symptoms for allergies and intolerances and these symptoms will often differ from baby to baby and child to child. If you are concerned about any symptoms, it is always important to see your health care professional. About the author: Cassi is a graduate of the Australian College of Natural Medicine as well as the London College of Nutritional Medicine. Although Cassi has a special interest in women’s health, including hormonal imbalances, preconception care, digestive disturbances, stress and fatigue, she can help treat all issues relating to family health, including childhood allergies.

The information contained in this article is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for individual professional medical advice from your physician or qualified health care provider. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

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ONLY

natural

Why kids need nature …and nature needs kids! by Sarah Hindle

Research has linked a rise in obesity, depression and even eyesight problems with the trend towards the indoors, and a decline in accessing green spaces. Why have we retreated inside, and can we break free from our cloistered indoor environments? Significant changes in childhood have occurred over the past several decades, relating to the level of interaction children have with the outdoor environment in their everyday lives. Stressed, overweight and unfit children with poor eyesight, low resilience, and an inability to empathise with nature have developed what some researchers are now calling the ‘nature deficit disorder’.

What is Nature Deficit Disorder? Nature deficit disorder (NDD) describes the cumulative effect of withdrawing nature from children’s experiences. The disorder is systemic at a social and cultural level, but children are uniquely victimised by it. Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder coined the term to ring alarm bells about the harm caused when a child experiences disconnection with the natural world, not as a serious clinical diagnosis. He says that a combination of over reporting in the media, and paranoid parents have literally scared children out of the natural world*, and into virtual representations of it instead. As a result, children are spending less time outside: “Our kids are actually doing what we tell them to do when they sit in front of the TV all day or in front of that computer game all day...society is telling kids unconsciously that nature’s in the past”. In his book, Louv examines a growing body of scientific research suggesting that children who are given early and ongoing positive exposure to nature thrive in intellectual and physical ways their ‘shut in’ peers do not. Stress is reduced, concentration sharpened, and creative problem solving is encouraged. He concludes that disconnection with the natural world has hit an all-time peak, based on his observation that the very presence of such a disorder evidences two generations of alienation from nature.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – JUNE / JULY 2011

Furthermore, lack of nature doesn’t seem to be unique to cities and suburbs - kids in rural areas are having the same ‘screen time’ and are going on longer car rides. You might have concluded your kids are lacking in motivation or energy - but perhaps what they really need is less motivational speeches from you, and more of a ‘sweep them outside with a big broom’ style. Your backyard, overrun with all the wonder of bugs and weeds could be exactly the therapy they are missing!

Our Indoor Lifestyle Whilst children who were raised in the ‘70s and ‘80s were commonly told “go outside and play until dinner time”, the ‘sweeping plains’ and ‘far horizons’ of our sunburnt country have become little more to us than a nostalgic piece of Australiana. Karen Malone, Associate Professor of Social Sciences at the University of Wollongong in NSW cites technophilia, shrinking backyards, safety regulations at school and daycare centres, and parental over-scheduling in childhood as significant contributing factors to the generational nature gap, but particularly blames road safety and parental worries. In a study she conducted in the western suburbs of Melbourne, of three hundred children aged four to eight years, she found two-thirds said their parents didn’t allow them to play outside their front gate*. According to Louv: “Biologically we are still hunters and gatherers and we need, at some level we don’t fully understand, direct involvement with nature. We need to see natural shapes on the horizon. And when we don’t get that, we don’t do so well.” While it is hard to prove that children are spending more of their time indoors, the Australian Institute of Family Studies has shown in recent years that children aged six to nine spend under two hours a day outdoors on the weekend, and four and five year olds just 2.3 hours outside on weekends.

*See this issue’s feature article for more on this topic. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

Other indicators of the deficit include: • Over scheduling: children today are likely to remember their childhood as a view from the back seat of the car, being driven from one scheduled activity to the next. • Diminishing discretionary time at home: numerous studies around the world show changes in childhood which contribute to the effects of the nature deficit, such as the growing demands on children’s time, resulting in less free and unstructured playtime. • The promotion of ‘safe’ sports and scheduled activities over imaginative play. • A ‘plugged-in’ culture: an increase in media time, and high levels of screen time in preschoolers. • A change in environment: the majority of children are urban, raised indoors, and in increasingly smaller spaces. • The restricted use of private and public land for children’s free-play. • An increase of myopia (short-sightedness) in children due to concentrated near work. Of major concern to researchers and educators is the loss of connection children have with nature and biodiversity, many of them unable to name common plant species and garden variety insects. If today’s children are growing up without nature experiences, they risk never being bonded to nature, and may care less about environmental hurdles of the future, although the more recent trend toward organic gardening in urban areas moderates that gap somewhat. Factors such as car ownership, reduced public transport services and the poor quality of many outdoor play environments challenge the health of the bigger picture. Complex issues such as the growing middle-class tendency to heavily schedule children’s lives into a kind of ‘turbo-childhood’ are all challenges that need to be faced by parents, and to a greater extent, society at large. With childhood obesity levels in at one-quarter of the population in Australia (up from 21 per cent in 2005), the pressure to find effective responses is mounting.

Green Essentials Whilst many parents are fretting over whether their children are eating enough green vegetables, the amount of green exercise may be at least as important! Research has shown that time spent outdoors can: • reduce stress • boost the immune system • enhance productivity • promote healing • reduce anxiety and depression • cut crime rates • improve cognitive functions • reduce symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder • increase competency levels • discourage anti-social behaviour Reconnecting our kids with the outdoors can even improve communication in the playground, help them show greater responsibility for others, increase their curiosity about living things, and enhance their story-telling creativity.